#(insert tf2 spy gif)

[tooti-fruiti]

UNDER COVER

Spy x Female! Reader

A Team Fortress 2 fanfiction

[Magnifique...]

When you're hired as a get-away driver for a group of all male mercenaries, things in your life get a lot more interesting. You become close with these guys very quickly and if not closer with a certain French mercenary.

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Coming soon

[chrisredfield73]

Hello! Im super glad i found someone with tf2 requests open, yippee!! Could i please request a Spy x reader where the reader has insecurities about dating cause they feel like they’ll be too attached and scare away their crush (this one being Spy)? I think having Spy, a man usually seen as reluctant to get too close to someone can pair well with someone who gets attached too easily and is scared of scaring their crush away.

Have a nice day!!

A/N: Cocky French man finds absolutely adorable and shy reader. I love this so much, thank you for requesting! I'm also sorry for the long wait, I had to take my mid-term exams!

This was also wrote with 2Fort in mind soooo.

Insert Spy singing Cupid here.

Rough French translations here. (I don't know French, feel free to correct me.)

mon ami/amie- My friend

belle/beau- beautiful/handsome

Je sais que tu m'aimes bien, petit lapin/lapine- I know you like me, little bunny.

mon amour- my love

------------------------------------------------------------------

You sit in the lounge in the Red/Blu base, chewing at your fingernails. You've been thinking about a certain man, someone so unmistakable.. That certain man is Spy. He’s so mysterious and cocky, something you find so enticing. You can’t help but fear what would happen though. What would happen if he found out you like him? What would happen if you confessed and he didn’t feel the same way? That would, undoubtedly, ruin your friendship. You didn’t want to scare the man off or weird him out, it would be so awkward and heartbreaking.

Your overthinking eats at your mind, plaguing it with thoughts of self-doubt and many, many insecurities. You snap out of your thoughts when Spy enters the room. A pit of dread enters your stomach. You want to confess, you want to tell him how you feel about him but you’re scared of the worst things that could happen. 

Spy, on the other hand, knows that you like him. It’s a bit obvious by the way you follow him around like a puppy on a leash. He thinks it’s utterly adorable, so he acts oblivious. He doesn’t want to scare you off by telling you that he knows you like him. He can’t help but smirk to himself when he sees you, speaking in that husky tone, “Hello, mon ami/amie.” He notices the blush spread across your face, the way you nervously shift in your seat.. He loves it. 

It took him a long while to get to the point of getting close to you. He’s still not very open about himself, but he at least sits next to you and communicates with you fairly often. He’s a very untrusting man, mostly due to the line of mercenary work. He doesn’t let himself get attached to others but you’re special. You’re completely unaware that he actually enjoys your company since he plays it off as being bored of the others.

“Hey, Spy.” You say meekly, staring up at the Frenchman in front of you. He lets out a low hum as he takes a drag off his cigarette. He sits down not too far from you but doesn’t say anything. You’re too meek to look up at him, but he’s staring right at you. Little do you know, he’s waiting for your confession. “Do you have something to say, belle/beau?” You look up at him and quickly shake your head, but he knows.. He gets up, walking closer to you. He leans down and whispers, “Je sais que tu m'aimes bien, petit lapin/lapine.” 

He knows. Oh god, he knows. You panic, not knowing what to say. Is this going to ruin the friendship you guys have? Does he like you too? In reality, you couldn’t help but be attached nearly by the hip to this charming man. You slowly nod, deciding to be truthful. He smirks and whispers into your ear, “Don’t be afraid, mon amour.. I feel the same way.” With that, he presses a kiss to your temple before pulling away and walking out of the room.

You’re completely flustered. None of the other mercs saw it, thankfully. Did that just happen…? Maybe the Spy isn’t so keen on distancing himself from you as you thought..

[scorpiolight-ships]

Hi! About time I finally made an intro post, lol. My name's Adrien, I'm 23 and I use he/they pronouns.

This is a selfship sideblog! My main is @scorpiolight, so if you see likes or follows from that blog, hi! That's me ^_^

I try to keep stuff clean on here (I have another sideblog for all my more 18+ stuff), but I AM still an adult, and may occasionally talk about more adult topics. If you're not comfortable with that, I would recommend not following.

My current main interests are FNAF, DSAF, and Sonic! I'd love to make new friends in the selfship community!

PROSHIP PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT

Ships under the cut!

A ♥ means I'm not comfortable with sharing with anyone

A ♡ means I'm only comfortable with sharing with friends

💗 MAINS 💗

♥ Barney Calhoun (Half-Life 2) - Romantic

Fiance Together since 08/14/20 S/I: Asa Kleiner-Eisen

♥ Michael Afton (FNAF) - Romantic

Boyfriend Together since 12/17/23 S/I: Adrien Barnett

Scout (TF2) - Familial

Brother S/I: Asa Kleiner-Eisen

💗 ROMANTIC 💗

♡ Prince Septimus (Stardust) ← He fluctuates between being a main and a secondary

Fiance Together since 09/28/20 S/I: [TBN]

♡ Sniper (TF2)

S/I: Adara Rose

♡ Caleb Price (Blood)

S/I: Ophelia Price

💜 Familial 💜

Scout's Ma (TF2) - Mother

S/I: Asa Kleiner-Eisen

Dr. Isaac Kleiner (Half-Life 2) - Father

S/I: Asa Kleiner-Eisen

Spy (TF2) - Father

S/I: Asa Kleiner-Eisen

Eveline (RE7) - Daughter

Aria Barnett (FNAF OC) - Sister

S/I: Adrien Barnett

Jeremy / Bonnie (FNAF) - Brother

S/I: Adrien Barnett

💛 Fankids 💛

Rachel Thompson (Daughter, Tom (ex) x Unnamed S/I) ← I had her before I knew what selfshipping was! I don't selfship with Tom anymore, but I like to think of him as an ex I still have a pleasant relationship with, even if we don't talk much anymore.

Birthday - 08/07/18

Riley Calhoun (Daughter, Barney x Asa)

Birthday - 08/26/20

🤍 Crushes 🤍

Jonny d'Ville (The Mechanisms)

Death (Puss in Boots: The Last Wish)

Guidry (TS4)

Some of my ships are more Canon x S/I, while others are more Canon x OC. Some of my OCs are close to being S/Is, but are far enough away from me (in terms of personality, appearance, etc) that I can't really consider them to be Self Inserts.

[artist-anon08]

REQUEST OPEN

I’m now taking requests for fanfics, headcanons, and doodles! Whether you want to explore a headcanon, read a story , or see a quick doodle of your faves, I'm here for it!I primarily write for GN/AFAB reader inserts or character/character pairings (romantic or platonic).

Please check @fritzlichty to ask and read more information as I close my askbox here.

🔮 Gravity Falls — Stanley Pines, Stanford Pines, and Other GF characters

🌌 FFXIV (Char/WoL/Reader) — Emet-Selch, Gaius Van Baelsar, Varis Zos Galvus, Regula Van Hydrus, and Zenos Yae Galvus

🌂Reverse 1999 — A knight, Sonetto, Vertin, Dikke, 6, Any characters on the global server

💥 TF2 — Medic, Spy, and Other mercs (I’ll try...)

🌿 Genshin Impact — Capitano, La Signora, Dottore, Neuvillette, Zhongli, Arlecchino, and Pierro

🌠 Star Wars (Imperials only) —Darth Vader Firmus Piett Maximillian Veers, and any other Imperials! I also write for OC

🎃 Miscellaneous — Madoka/Homura, William Afton, Slenderman, Shadow Master, Lord Shen (Gijinka), Gaster, Hannibal Lecter, Vlad Dracula Tepes, Lisa Tepes and Captain Hook (Disney version and 2003 version)

[fritzlichty]

REQUEST OPEN

I’m now taking requests for fanfics, headcanons, and doodles! Whether you want to explore a headcanon, read a story , or see a quick doodle of your faves, I'm here for it!I primarily write for GN/AFAB reader inserts or character/character pairings (romantic or platonic).

Characters I'll write for:

🔮 Gravity Falls — Stanley Pines, Stanford Pines, and Other GF characters

🌌 FFXIV (Char/WoL/Reader) — Emet-Selch, Gaius Van Baelsar, Varis Zos Galvus, Regula Van Hydrus, and Zenos Yae Galvus

🌂Reverse 1999 — A knight, Sonetto, Vertin, Dikke, 6, Any characters on the global server 💥 TF2 — Medic, Spy, and Other mercs (I’ll try...)

🌟 Genshin Impact — Capitano, La Signora, Dottore, Neuvillette, Zhongli Arlecchino, and Pierro

🌠 Star Wars (Imperials only) —Darth Vader Firmus Piett Maximillian Veers, and any other Imperials! I also write for OC

🎃 Miscellaneous — Madoka/Homura, William Afton, Slenderman, Shadow Master, Lord Shen (Gijinka), Gaster, Hannibal Lecter, Vlad Dracula Tepes, Lisa Tepes and Captain Hook (Disney version and 2003 version)

✨ What I Will Write: ✨

NSFW, SFW, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, dark themes, character study, action/adventure, and platonic relationships.

🚫What I Won’t Write 🚫

P#dofilia (DO I REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS??) - Incest - vivziepop media - Bestiality - Vore - Extreme Gore/Torture - Proship/Problematic Ships - Fetish that I'm not comfortable with (No feet everyone… Sorry)

✨ How to submit: Requests are open in my ask box, just drop your ideas! Let me know if you’re requesting a fanfic, headcanon, or doodle. Be sure to specify characters and any other details you’d like to include! Please be specific to help me with my work!

[yuckie-obsessive]

Please no reposting without credit

Also blog should be noted as catering to “mature” content. 18+ only. Minors DNI

💖 Call me Kie 💖 they/them 💖

Ask me stuff or requests. I’m struggling with some things and general interest as wandered elsewhere, but I’ll respond to it when I can.

For my (y/n) insert pics, if you’d like you can use it essentially like a DA oc base image. All I ask is for a tag because I would really like to see what people do with it omg.

Current obsessions:

Miguel O’Hara (Spiderverse)

TF2 (Blu!Spy & Blu!Medic - Red!Sniper AU shit)

Borderlands 2 (Handsome Jack)

Youtuber Egos (Antisepticeye and Darkiplier)

Overwatch (Ramattra and Sigma- Galactic Emperor Sigma specifically)

Labyrinth (Jareth the Goblin King)

All the above plus their yandere alterations

Masterlist:

Youtuber Ego Stuff:

Darkiplier x Reader x Antisepticeye

Taken By The Void [Masterlist] female (on hiatus)

Double Trouble (drabble) gn

Darkiplier x Reader

Door (drabble) gn

A Dream? (drabble) gn

Did You Miss Me? (drabble) gn

Just The Start (drabble) gn

For the Best Ending (drabble) gn

Antisepticeye x Reader

Escape Attempt (drabble) gn

Always Finds You (oneshot) female

Let Me Capture You [Masterlist]

Discharged (oneshot) gn

Helping Hands (oneshot) gn

Septic-egos x Reader

Back From The Dead (HC lists) gn

Come Join Us (upcoming) (deciding)

[mathewryf]

I posted 30,079 times in 2022

That's 6,746 more posts than 2021!

98 posts created (0%)

29,981 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cloudofdarkness

@deltarune-au-domain

@tichshowers

@megalo-station

@yarroarts

I tagged 467 of my posts in 2022

#sonic prime spoilers - 29 posts

#miles tails prower - 6 posts

#sonic movie 2 spoilers - 5 posts

#youtube - 4 posts

#safe utdr - 4 posts

#sonic 2 spoilers - 4 posts

#tw body horror - 3 posts

#nine prower - 3 posts

#tails nine - 3 posts

#sonic frontiers spoilers - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#seriously though i had always wanted to make my self insert sonic oc a fox to match tails since he was my favorite and i projected onto him

I sent 4 gifts in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

You know what would be hilarious? If tumblr allowed 18+ content again, but only through yet another subscription thing.

with consideration to the ways in which the internet has been sanitized (tumblr included) I just find the idea that the content that was once removed SOMEHOW coming back to the platform despite that just... funny.

I don't get WHY, though?

7 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

#4

Tf2 mercs on a sliding scale of "Oldest Sibling Energy" to "Youngest Sibling Energy"

Medic is at the top of the Oldest Sibling end of the scale

Followed by Spy

See the full post

12 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

#3

13 notes - Posted December 23, 2022

#2

I feel like Vector the Crocodile is Lt. Columbo if he were in his 20s.

Finally got that off my chest. Whew 💦

If I had the money I would commission an older Vector in Columbo's getup.

36 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Tails, his brotherhood with Sonic, and his ability to unabashedly pursue his interests were, to child me, a fantasy I wanted to live. Wish fulfillment. Nine is closer to what I actually experienced in reality, especially the survival mindset. The isolation, both inflicted upon him and self-inflicted as a means to hide from harm.

The way he soaks up any positive interactions from Sonic sort of falls into "wish fulfillment" as well. Getting a taste of any sort of positive bond. Wanting to hold onto it while it lasts.

Especially poignant is how hard Nine clings to escaping New Yoke and living in the Grim. Escapism is something I used constantly to cope with my circumstances. Especially when video games were involved.

Of course, too much escapism isn't healthy. Eventually it stops being a sanctuary to ease the mind, and instead becomes a means to run and hide from any sort of conflict.

Nine running to the Grim and hiding away forever... it won't change how he feels. It won't heal the pain. He'll be trapped in an echo chamber with his inner demons. Forever.

As someone who hid from their life for a good chunk of time... I can't put to words just how much damage Nine will do to himself. He'll go stir crazy, and his mind will only amplify all his fear and pain. Exaggerate every negative experience he's had, or is afraid of having.

It'll kill him.

43 notes - Posted December 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sheyshocked]

I posted 21,434 times in 2022

That's 448 more posts than 2021!

42 posts created (0%)

21,392 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dizzypinwheel

@cyberlifebois

@xixuan

@connor-sent-by-cyberlife

@get-me-a-coffee-dipshit

I tagged 21,194 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#dbh - 14,228 posts

#detroit become human - 10,798 posts

#dbh connor - 6,925 posts

#team fortress 2 - 3,865 posts

#tf2 - 3,851 posts

#dbh gavin reed - 3,636 posts

#dbh rk900 - 3,512 posts

#detroit become human - 3,434 posts

#dbh hank anderson - 2,906 posts

#dbh markus - 1,980 posts

Longest Tag: 93 characters

#*remembers my uni experience* wish i had teachers who don't belittle you for asking questions

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Fic Masterpost (2022)

Organized by year 2020 | 2021 | 2022

Updated! (12th October - new Team Fortress 2 multichapter fic - Baby It’s All Just Chemistry)

Detroit: Become Human

Simon/Markus

One-shots

Can you deviate twice? - Some people never wisen. Unfortunately, Simon seems to be one of them. But who knew you could deviate for love twice? Fluff, Simarkus Week 2022, 1,006 words.

I Would Love You In Any Form You Would Take -  With a simple tweak of the preconstruction software, androids should be able to get glimpses of "alternate realities". While Markus is intrigued by the prospect, Simon is definitively not. Fluff, crack treated seriously, Simarkus Week 2022, 3,161 words.

Not the Best Place for a Love Confession - Markus talks about his new budding relationship with Simon during an interview. Simon’s reaction surprises him. Fluff, slightly sexist language, Simarkus Week 2022, 1,781 words.

When the Wind Blows - What Markus didn't know when he pressed that button was that even androids can't survive prolonged contact with radiation. Angst, post nuclear ending, character death, Simarkus Week 2022, 1,445 words.

Daniel/Leo Manfred

The Day Leo Had Woken up With Cat Ears - Leo is struck by a strange curse that makes him grow cat ears. Now he must find a way to somehow break it to his boyfriend. Humor, fluff, crack, 623 words.

Team Fortress 2

Scout/OC

Multichapters

Baby It’s All Just Chemistry - Months after the RED team assembled and its members started getting used to one another, they receive some shocking news. They are about to get a new teammate soon. AU, tenth class, humor, slice of life. Minor Heavy/Medic and RED!Demoman/BLU!Soldier. Chapters 1/?, 

Spy/Scout’s Mother

À la Claire Fontaine - Before a battle, Scout is trying to work off excess energy, which keeps annoying Spy to no end. When he has enough and throws a knife at him, Scout settles down for a while, only to start humming a familiar song. It brings back some memories Spy thought he would forget. Light angst, Dad Spy,  2,607 words.

Genfic

One-shots

Your Ray of Sunshine - Nothing goes your way these last few days, your team is losing one match after the other, and you feel awful because of it. But then Scout shows up and makes you feel just a little bit better. Hurt/comfort, Reader insert, (Gender-neutral) Reader & Scout, Platonic relationships, 742 words.

24 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

#4

Not the Best Place for a Love Confession

Summary: During an interview with a reporter who has a bad habit of saying the most offensive thing possible at the moment, Markus talks about his new budding relationship with Simon and teaches the public that just because he’s the respected leader of the revolution, his partner doesn’t have to be some fainting maiden waiting for him to come home. Simon’s reaction surprises him. Second day of Simarkus Week 2022, prompt Confession.

Ship: Simon/Markus (Detroit: Become Human)

Warnings: (Slightly) Sexist Language

Tags: Fluff, Public Love Confessions, Making Out, Markus Loves Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Switch Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Switch Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Interviews, Markus Being Sassy, Secret Relationship

Wordcount: 1,781

A/N: Look, it’s my event, my rules. And when I say I’m gonna post fics for Simarkus Week a month late, then so be it (anyone can do that, btw, so if you still wanna join, go crazy). Anyway, hope you enjoy reading!

You can also read it on ao3!

Only a few things were sure to make Markus’ blood boil in rage. Injustice was one of them. Ignorance the other. But pretentious interviews with reporters who couldn’t give a damn about their cause and were only looking for a sensation happened to be high on the list, too. The people there were as bad as the gabbers at the Museum of Modern Art, if not worse.

Unfortunately, just like those cocktail parties Carl used to despise so much, these events were a necessary evil from time to time, so Markus forced himself to smile as he answered questions that were borderline offensive.

The acceptance of androids as a new living species was still quite a novelty, and most people meant no harm, just didn’t know how to communicate with them after everything that happened. That’s why he was here. To make them see that they were no different from them. If only some of the remarks didn’t feel like they were pulling his teeth out! At least the reporter, Joyce, always made an effort to correct herself when he let her know what she was saying was getting out of hand. But still...

“So... there is word on the street that someone had managed to capture the heart of the famous deviant leader! Is there any truth to it?”

Markus froze in shock. How did they know? His eyes wandered in the general direction where he assumed his friends and Simon were waiting for him to finish the interview, keeping their fingers crossed for him. Sadly, the studio lights were shining right into his eyes, so he couldn’t make out their expressions. They were probably as shocked as he was.

“This is bullshit,” North stated via their wireless connection. “Don’t reply, Markus. They are just digging for dirt. What you do with Simon in privacy is no one's business.”

Josh was next to chime in. “For once, I have to agree. They should focus on the things that matter, not this.”

Although Markus agreed with them wholeheartedly, he was still waiting for the one person who had the biggest say in this. Simon. The thing between them was still too fragile, and he didn’t want to squander it by making him uncomfortable.

“What do you think I should say, Simon? I don’t want to keep you a secret, but I won’t put you in the spotlight if you don’t wish so.”

At first, he was met with silence on the other end. Simon was obviously as torn at this as him. Then he responded, voice wavering: “I don’t think it would do us any good at this point to give any names. Maybe keep the details? Other than that, I’m fine with whatever you decide would be the best.” He went silent for a moment, before admitting: “Don’t wanna keep you a secret too.”

Markus nodded out of instinct, before turning back at the reporter. Thank god their communication was fast as a bolt of lightning, otherwise, the awkward pause might get even worse. “I hope you do realize this is a very personal question, Joyce. But yes. You could say that.”

“Oooh, lucky them, then! There’s no shortage of people who would jump at the opportunity to date someone like you.”

Were they now? He didn’t know and, honestly, he did not care. They weren’t his beautiful, radiant Simon. “I’m sure there are some fans or admirers, and I appreciate the attention,” not really, “even though I think people should focus more on what I say rather than on how I look.” He glanced down at the ground, suddenly abashed, before he picked up where he ended. “Back during the revolution, there was no time for romance. We all fought to survive. Now I found what I’ve been missing and I’m happy. It’s a tremendous success that our kind can finally experience love without having to fear the reaction of people around us.”

The crowd, mostly present androids, cheered at that. He overheard even one loud “aww” from backstage. Joyce giggled. It was a weird cacophony of sounds. One he was still getting used to, months after giving speeches. “You sound smitten with that mysterious person! I’m sure our viewers are dying to know whether it was a human or another android who rocked your world.”

That gave him pause. Simon said to keep it as ambiguous as possible. “Android. Former domestic assistant. And that’s all I will say.”

There were dozens of models that were considered domestic, both male and female. Small chance they would immediately figure out it was a PL600 with sky blue eyes and a gentle smile. And if they did? Well, people speculate all the time. They didn’t have to confirm it. Or they could. It was up to them to decide whether they would make it official, once they got more comfortable with the situation.

“Ah, I see. So you swept them off their feet and now they keep the house warm while you are here, changing the world.”

What. The. Hell.

At first, he thought – hoped – he heard her wrong. But no. She did say that. His heart picked up speed and he could feel his cheeks heating up as he fought the urge to scream: Just because I’m the leader doesn’t mean my partner has to be some submissive, meek flower who stays at home and takes care of the household!

Out of instinct, his eyes wandered to where he thought Simon stood. He could imagine his sad expression as he took the insult and said nothing, keeping it all bottled up. No way. Markus can’t let this slide.

“We are no longer slaves of our programming, Joyce,” he had to try very hard to keep his voice calm. “We can choose to be anyone we want to be now, and my partner chose to fight for our cause side by side with me ever since the beginning. Never passes a day when I wouldn’t admire their dedication, strength, and voice of reason. So stop belittling their worth just because of their past.”

The whole studio went silent. Joyce in particular looked like she wished the ground would swallow her whole. Although she had a lot of makeup on, he could see her face was getting a radiant shade of red. Good. Maybe she will think next time before she spouts something like this.

See the full post

25 notes - Posted March 27, 2022

#3

À la Claire Fontaine

Summary: Before a battle, Scout is trying to work off excess energy, which keeps annoying Spy to no end. When he has enough and throws a knife at him, Scout settles down for a while, only to start humming a familiar song. It brings back some memories Spy thought he would forget.

Fandom: Team Fortress 2

Ship: Spy/Scout’s mother (familial Spy & Scout)

Warnings: Panic Attacks

Tags: Light Angst, Scout Doesn't Know Spy Is Scout's Parent (Team Fortress 2), Spy Tries to be a Parent (Team Fortress 2), Father-Son Relationship, Scout Has ADHD (Team Fortress 2), Soft Spy (Team Fortress 2), Flashbacks, Spy loves Scout's Mother, Smoking, POV Spy (Team Fortress 2), Spy Being an Asshole (Team Fortress 2)

Wordcount: 2,607

A/N: Inspired by this adorable picture by @wachtelspinat and by French lullaby À la claire fontaine (obviously).

You can also read it on ao3!

Ten minutes until the next match starts. Well, nine minutes and thirty-five seconds now, to be precise. Just enough for his last cigarette of the day, Spy concluded and pulled out a lighter. That… fire-loving abomination sitting on the other side of the locker room visibly perked up at the faint flickering light – he cut it off before it could move. It was on their side, but as far as he was concerned, better be safe than sorry.

The entire team RED was spending its final moments before the bloodbath the only way they knew. Heavy fussed over Sasha, his much-beloved weapon, Demoman had just opened his second – or was it third? – bottle of Scrumpy and was drunkenly offering it to anyone in the immediate vicinity, and Spy? All he wanted was to have a smoke in peace before the fighting started.

Just another ordinary day in the gutter.

Scout sat on the bench right opposite him and, as usual, had a really hard time trying to stay still. His excitement before matches always had this nervous edge, no matter how many times his guts got scattered across the sands of New Mexico. He couldn’t stop fidgeting, his leg bouncing up and down nearly constantly. At first, it was a mere nuisance. Easy to block out with other white noise. Another thirty seconds in, and it made him grit his teeth.

Much like the Scout himself, Spy assumed.

Bah, he’s worse than an eight-year-old child with a bad case of rabies. Can’t slow down to save his life, he rolled his eyes. So much so for having some peace before work. But then again, with this unruly bunch of misfits and criminals, what could have he expected?

Then, as if the noise of a foot slapping against the ground every few seconds wasn’t bad enough, it became accompanied by an even more nerve-wrenching sound.

Scout, completely oblivious to the fact that he was driving one of his coworkers mad with his antics, fished a package of chewing gum out of one of his pockets. Took two at once and started chomping. Loudly. And when Spy said loudly, he meant obnoxiously loudly. That kind of loud that made him regret that he couldn’t send the other mercenary straight back to respawn without having to explain himself to the Administrator later on.

If she were there at the moment, she would have understood, he noted with a huff of annoyance.

But even his patience had its limits. And frankly, he has had enough.

“Ahem,” he cleared his throat, letting Scout know that he was walking on thin ice. But the buck-teethed youth had absolutely no sense for subtlety, so it flew right over his head. He tilted his head to the side, blew a bubblegum bubble with another loud click of his tongue… and Spy just snapped.

The butterfly knife was in his hand in an instant and before anyone could have even noticed, he threw it. It pierced the wall right next to Scout’s head, popping the pink bubble out. The entire locker room went silent as all heads turned in their direction.

Scout blinked owlishly as he tried to figure out what had just happened. Then his face went ruddy with anger. “Woah, woah, what the heck, dude?! You could have killed me!”

“Oh, please, if I was really aiming for your head, I wouldn’t have missed,” he replied in a snarky tone as he got up to retrieve his knife. It was stuck at least an inch and a half in the wall. Hm. Good to know he wasn’t losing his touch. “Now, would you kindly shut up so I could have some rest?”

Scout huffed out an annoyed breath, but since he didn’t want to start a fight so shortly before having to enter the field, he sat straight and for the first time in his life did as he was told. Smart boy.

Ah, finally. A moment of respite, Spy closed his eyes with a smirk on his face.

He thought this would be the end of it, which only proved he didn’t know Scout nearly well enough. Because as soon as he relaxed, the humming started. And Spy just froze, the lit cigarette fell from his fingers and scattered ash all over the floor.

He… knew that tune. It might be butchered by Scout’s voice, sure, and like in all the other aspects of his life, the boy was rushing too much, but Spy would still recognize this song even with his ears cut off.

À la claire fontaine.

Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe. His heart was hammering against his ribs, which grew too constricted for their own good. It felt like he was dying. No, now that he thought about it, dying didn’t feel nearly as bad. At least not after the first dozen times. This, this was a pure nightmare.

Well, what should he do? Dieu, he needed another cigarette, maybe two, to wrestle his nerves under control again. But his fingers shook so bad, that someone might take notice. And he couldn’t let others see him like this.

See the full post

33 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

#2

Simarkus Week 2022

Hello and welcome to the Simarkus Week 2022!

This event was last organized in 2020 on Twitter by the Simarkus Army, but since I haven’t seen any news about it, I decided to make my own to honor this fandom tradition.

The rules will stay mostly the same, the prompts will be revealed later this week, so stay tuned! And if you have any questions in the meantime, feel free to ask!

The banner was made by @disterra​, go check out her other works as well!

46 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Simarkus Week 2022 Prompt Reveal and Rules

Aaaand as promised, here is the prompt list for Simarkus Week 2022! Thanks again @disterra​​ for making these lovely graphics for this event! In case the picture won’t load right, I’ll list the prompts (and rules) down below.

Prompts:

February 16 – Valentine’s day / Deviation day

February 17 – Confession / Anniversary

February 18 – Interfacing / Compatible hearts

February 19 – Past / Future

February 20 – At the brink of the war / After a peaceful protest

February 21 – In any (alternate) universe / In canon universe

February 22 – How it starts / How it ends

Rules:

1. Don’t forget to tag all your contributions for this event as #simarkusweek2022. You can also tag me (@sheyshocked).

2. Any kind of content (fanart, fanfiction, edits, cosplay, gifs, etc.) is encouraged.

3. The prompts are there just to give you some inspiration – feel free to interpret them as you will. You can use both of them in one work, or just one, it’s entirely up to you.

4. You can write or draw anything you want, use dark themes or explicit content, but please tag everything properly.

5. Any interpretation of the ship, whether romantic or platonic, is most welcome.

6. No ship bashing or harassment!

7. Other ships are welcome as well, as long as the focus is on Simarkus.

8. You can always post your work belated.

9. Reblogs to bring attention to this event would be appreciated!

Thank you for your support! I’m gonna look forward to what you come up with!

60 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[teeftoobaybee]

hi!! ive never requested anything before so idk if this is okay but could i get medic, sniper, and pyro with an S/O who’s also a merc but like a bubbly scientist/chemist person please? maybe a nurse instead if that easier? i’ll be happy with anything tbh i love the way you write the mercs <3

😭thank you!!! (i'll write the reader insert as a chemist)

-------------------------------------------------------

medic

love at first sight, friends to lovers, happy ending, 300k+ words, s/o my beloved-

you two are unstoppable. very chaotic dr. frankenstein vibes. while there's not a shared profession, there's a shared sense of questionable morality & non-professional practices (let's be honest, you have to be slightly insane in order to be a tf2 merc)

medic doesn't realize it, but when he's having a shitty day he relies on your positivity to keep his composure. try to be patient as he can say some pretty colorful things about everything

-------------------------------------------------------

sniper

medic widepeepoHappy

when he first finds out about your profession, he thinks it's cool. occasionally asks what you're doing but doesn't bother you too much whenever you're busy

he soaks up your energy like a sponge. he could be in the middle of cursing spy to the moon & back, but as soon as you walk in he's all smiles :)

jokingly asks if you could make his jarate deadlier (he says he's joking but deep down he's actually curious)

-------------------------------------------------------

pyro

thrives with you. a bubbly personality is directly up pyro's lane, so constantly being with someone as joyful as you just amplifies their energy tenfold

they follow you 95% of the time. the battlefield, the common area, literally everywhere. sometimes they disappear (where? who knows) but they usually come back with drawings of you two <3333

if pyro ever sees you working on any chemist-related things (idk what to call it lmfao 😭) they'll sit & watch. they like how passionate you are about your craft & cannot get enough of it. literally just vibe with your work and pyro is in love

[cherubsoda]

hooh! hehehe!!!

cheers bro ill drink to that. i never played the game either. did i make canon fit around my self insert? just a bit. did i make a sad, sappy backstory on how i gifted archimedes to medic? nooooo definetly not. did i design my outfit solely based off medics dough puncher cosmetic and make a nurse/doctor cosmetic for myself, just so it looks like we're wearing each others uniform? psh...no...ofc i didnt. did i think about how i couldve met medic before he joined the rest of the mercs and if we actually got married, based off of demos voice clip? ..yeah... have i thought about making different food items for each team member that increases stats or gives them more hp depending on their class?? maybe i did,,, and what about it

Did I just grab a wiki about from the TF2 wiki to edit for Assassin (specifically Heavy’s because reasons....)? Am I now spending WAY TOO MUCH TIME on a self insert descrip for a game I’ve never played because @cherubsoda sucked me in with an art trade and me being a semi responsible researcher? Do they have a move with Heavy called the Chernobyl Shot Put Special where he THROWS THEM INTO THE AIR TO RAIN DOWN CHEMICALS AS HE LETS BULLETS TEAR THROUGH EVERYONE? Do I need a time out for this campy bs I’m trying to sell in this respectable fandom?

[tooti-fruiti]

UNDER COVER [CHAPTER SEVEN]

Before the battle

You were sleeping in your bed, until you were scared awake when Soldier blew an airhorn in your face.

You screamed and covered your ears with your pillows.

"Wake up maggot!" Soldier yelled. "It's your first mission!"

Soldier marched out of your room and you sighed, rubbing your eyes.

You changed into your uniform and walked downstairs.

"Good morning, Miss Driver." Engineer said.

"So, for your first mission, we'll be on the offense. So that means we'll drive to the battle."

"Are all my weapons in the van?" You asked.

Engineer nodded and you saw a little duffle bag.

Inside was a pistol and an pump.

"You know how to drive don't you?" Demoman asked.

"Of course I do." You smiled and rolled your eyes.

The men crowded into the back of the van and Spy decided to sit with you up front.

He groaned as he climbed inside the van.

"I can't sit back there. I refuse. It smells like they haven't showered in weeks."

You giggled at Spy's comment and started the car.

"Okay, so tell me where to go."

Spy pointed to a curtain. "Drive through the curtain."

"Okay?"

You drove through the curtain and stopped right in front of the road.

"Turn right."

You nodded and turned onto the empty road.

"You are going to turn left about a mile or two ahead, I will let you know when."

"Alright." You said as Spy lit a cigarette.

"So how long do battles normally take?"

Spy turned to you and blow some smoke out the window.

"Usually an hour, if we don't fuck up in any way."

"And if we do?"

"Usually takes fifteen minutes longer than it should each time one of those bumbling baboons has their head blown off."

You giggled at his insult to the rest of the team.

"Does it usually take the same amount of time for both defense and offense?"

"Oui."

"So basically, what we do is kill all the enemies and steal a blue briefcase?"

"Oui." He repeated and blew more smoke out of the window.

"Do you know where the briefcase is?"

Spy chuckled and mumbled something in French as he flicked the cigarette out of the window.

"What was that?"

"You ask a lot of questions, cher. Turn left up ahead."

"Well, I just don't want to mess up and be labeled as a 'bumbling baboon'." You said as you turned the car.

Spy chuckled a little harder.

Spy then told you to park the car outside of their base and turned to you.

"Can you aim?" He asked.

"Yes?"

"Can you aim precisely and accurately?"

"...yes?"

"Then you will be fine." Spy gave you a reassuring smile before knocking on the door to the back.

"Ready, men?" He asked.

"Ready!" The rest of the team responded.

The others hauled out of the back and pulled out their guns, yelling and screaming as the shot at random things.

Soy sighed. "Already off to a bad start."

Then he turned to you. "I will go look for the intelligence, or 'briefcase'. You will help the others with killing as many enemies as possible. Understood?"

You nodded as Spy stepped out of your car.

"Bonne chance, chéri." He said before twisting his watch and turning invisible.

"I don't know what that means!" You yelled out of your car window.

[Hope you enjoyed. Stay tuned for more and have a good day]

<-Chapter Six

Chapter Eight->

[tooti-fruiti]

UNDER COVER [CHAPTER NINE]

Asking questions

Spy rubbed your shoulder. "Good job, cher."

You smiled at him as Scout cheered.

"OH YEAH! WE GETTING THAT MONEY TONIGHT GUYS!"

Pyro and Heavy also cheered while Sniper and Engineer chuckled.

You started to laugh as well, then someone knocked on the door.

Medic opened it and Miss Pauling stepped inside.

"Great work today." She said as she set down a grey briefcase before taking the blue one.

Scout, immediately hearing her voice, sat up. "H-Hey, Miss Pauling! Do you think I could uh-"

"Bye guys!" She said as she closed the door and left.

"W-Wait!" Scout said, rushing after her.

Spy chuckled and opened the briefcase. "Ah, young love."

Inside the briefcase was about ten stacks of five thousand dollars.

Your eyes widened at the amount of money.

"This is...for all of us..?" You asked, absolutely bewildered.

"That's correct, mon cher."

"We each get five thousand if we win a battle." Engineer said.

"That's amazing!" You said as you took your stack.

•

Later that night, you decided to sit outside and look up at the stars.

The others were still inside so you were by yourself.

That was until you heard the door open.

You turned around and saw Spy walk out.

"What are you doing out here, mon chéri?" He asked.

"Just enjoying the stars."

"Did you come out here for a midnight smoke?" You teased.

Spy chuckled and sat down beside you on the stairs.

"Precisely."

He pulled out his disguise kit and took out a cigarette.

"The other men hate it when I smoke inside the building."

You nodded and looked up at the stars.

"So, may I ask you a question?" He asked.

You turned to him. "Sure, go ahead."

"What made you take this job?"

"I just saw it as a job listed online and decided to take it."

Spy raised an eyebrow at you and smirked.

"I know you saw the warnings that you would have to murder people. You can tell me the real reason."

You sighed.

"I didn't know they were being serious, they said it was a game."

Spy nodded. "They did say that. That explains why you didn't ask very many questions until someone explained to you what was actually going on."

You nodded.

"Now that I know this bit of information, I have to ask. Do you regret taking this job?"

"I mean, yes and no. Our first battle was today and I was terrified. But we get payed great money. Besides, it's not like I can quit, can I?"

Spy shrugged. "You can quit, but I'm sure Pauling explained what will happen to you if you do."

"I don't understand why she would need to kill me, why can't she just erase my memory or something?"

"We don't have a tool that can erase memories, très cher." Spy said as he took a drag from his cigarette.

You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow at him. "So you guys have a teleporter and a way to bring people back from the dead, but not a memory gun or something?"

Spy chuckled. "No, no we do not."

He put out his cigarette and placed it in an ashtray outside.

Then he checked his watch. "It is currently one in the morning, chéri. Let's head inside."

He held his hand out for you to take and helped you up.

Then you walked to your separate rooms, bid each other goodnight, and went to bed.

[Hope you enjoyed. Stay tuned for more and have a good day]

<-Chapter Eight

[tooti-fruiti]

UNDER COVER [PROLOGUE]

As you were being driven down the road, you thought about how you got here.

You quit your job and lived with your parents for a bit due to being evicted from your apartment.

While scrolling online, you found a job listing for a mercenary.

A game as they called it.

You were desperate and needed the money.

They only question they asked you is if you were ordered to kill someone no matter who they were. Would you do it?

You said yes and you were instantly accepted.

You were told to wear a red outfit as your uniform and to stand outside your house with your luggage.

You were really happy you accepted this job because not only did you get payed well, you also got free housing.

Bonus!

While you were waiting, a purple car pulled up to your house and a woman wearing a purple shirt and glasses was sitting inside.

"Are you (Y/n) (L/n)?" She asked.

You nodded.

"Good. Hop in." She said.

You got into her car after putting your luggage in the back and she started driving off.

"So (Y/n)." She said, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"I'm Ms. Pauling, your boss. Let me tell you how things are going to work around here."

(Hope you enjoyed. Stay tuned for more and have a good day)

Chapter One->

[darksahia]

Class: medic

BF: pyro

First kiss: Spy

Lover: Heavy

Cockblocked: Scout

N. Of children: 3

.... I think i may have already read this fanfiction....

[tooti-fruiti]

UNDER COVER [CHAPTER SIX]

Dinner Time

As promised, about an hour and a half later. Scout returned with Chinese food for everyone and with a nine pack of beer.

You walked down the stairs and saw Scout, Demo, Engi, Heavy, and Sniper waiting for you and everyone else.

"Hey guys." You said as you sat down on one of the couches.

They all greeted you and Scout passed your food to you.

"I hope you don't mind waiting for everyone else." He said.

"Yeah that's fine." You said as Medic and Pyro walked into the room.

"Ah Scout! You got my hot and sour soup!" Medic said as he excitedly sat down.

Pyro clapped his hands excitedly and sat down as well.

"Wait." You said. "That's nine pack of beer...but there's ten of us?"

"Spy doesn't drink beer." Scout said. "The fancy son of bitch drinks wine."

"That is correct." Spy said, appearing right behind scout, scaring the shit out of him.

"Fuckin hell man!" Scout said. "Don't scare me like that!"

Spy waved him off with a chuckle as he grabbed his Chinese food out of the bag.

"Soldier!" Scout called out as Spy set his food down beside you before he walked to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of wine.

"Get your stupid ass down here!"

"No!" Soldier replied from upstairs. "I refuse to eat anything that's not American!"

Almost everyone groaned at his response.

"Soldier!" You called out. "It is American. I know it says it's Chinese, but it's made in America! It's an American version of classic Chinese food!"

No one said anything, waiting for Soldier to respond.

"Is that true?"

"Yes!" Scout said. "Now get down here so we can eat!"

"Okay okay! Let me put my helmet on!" Soldier said as everyone sighed a breath of relief.

"Thanks toots." Scout said. "It's always such a hassle to get him downstairs when we eat shit that isn't hamburgers or hotdogs."

"No problem. I read about it online a few weeks ago."

"Well I don't care if it's true or not. Soldier is stupid as hell and he'll believe anything." Scout said.

"Be nice Scout." Engi said as Solider walked into the room.

Spy also walked back in and sat beside you.

"Should we pray?" Heavy asked with a giggle, making Medic, Sniper, Demo, and Spy chuckle as well.

"Okay, really man?" Scout asked. "Really? In front of the new girl?"

"What?" You asked.

"The first time we had dinner after Scout joined us, he started praying." Spy explained.

"I grew up with a Christian mom, a'ight?" He said.

(Same a/n: I don't know if that's true or not but I thought it was funny, just a headcanon)

You started to eat your food together, making jokes and talking.

"So Driver." Engineer said. "Tell us a little bit about yourself."

"Well what do you wanna know?"

Pyro makes a mumbling noise and Heavy starts to laugh.

"What did he say?" You asked.

"He asked what your favorite color is." Heavy said as he chuckled.

"Oh! It's (F/c)." You smiled.

Pyro nodded.

"What did you use to do?" Medic asked.

"For a job?"

He nodded.

"I worked at (former job), but then I quit."

"What for?" Engi asked.

"My old boss was a pervert. He stills works there I think, I feel bad for all my ex-coworkers."

"Disgusting." Spy said.

"I had assumed that if you were drinking wine, you wouldn't eat cheap food like this." You said.

He slightly smirked at you. "I normally wouldn't. But I do enjoy some of the conversations we have during our meals. And trust me when I say we do not eat this garbage when it's my turn."

"Okay, fuck off Spy." Scout said. "Just cause you like being fancy doesn't mean the rest of us do."

Spy rolled his eyes and continued eating.

"Where are you from?" Engi asked.

"I'm from (wherever you're from)." You said before looking back at your food. "I can't believe our first mission together is in two days."

"Are you nervous? Excited?" Sniper asked.

"Both, honestly." You said.

You all kept talking, eating food and drinking beer.

Well, except Spy.

It was a nice way to get to know everyone and you couldn't be more excited for the first battle on Monday.

[Hope you enjoyed. Stay tuned for more and have a good day]

<-Chapter Five

Chapter Seven->

[tooti-fruiti]

UNDER COVER [CHAPTER EIGHT]

The Battle

After Spy left, you were all by yourself.

You spent a few seconds deciding what to do for the battle.

Then you got an idea.

You started the van before pushing down on the gas as hard as you could.

The car immediately drove up the hill and flew into the air.

You cheered in delight as you flew through the air for a few seconds before landing on the ground, crushing a few Blu team members.

Scout cheered for you. "WOOHOO! NICE GOING TOOTS!"

You drove around the area, running over as many Blu Members as you could.

You cheered as you circled around and around.

But then the Blu Demoman shot a bomb at the Van and it flipped over.

You yelped and quickly unbuckled the seat belt.

Then you crawled around looking for your dufflebag.

Once you found it, you unzipped it and pulled out your pistol.

Then you got out of the car as quickly as possible as you heard the enemy Demoman shot another bomb.

Your car blew up and you were blown back by the blast.

Once you stood up again, you shot the enemy Demoman and the enemy soldier.

You back-pedaled behind a wall to make sure you were out of danger.

Suddenly a hand wrapped around your neck tightly.

"Ahh, so you are the new teammate..."

You recognized the voice and the accent.

You turned and saw the Blu Spy staring at you.

His finger traced your jawline. "It's a shame you're on the other team." He said before stabbing you in the back.

You groaned and closed your eyes.

But when you opened your eyes again, you were back at the base.

You looked around.

"Engineer's right. It is quick and painless."

You immediately got up and ran back to your van.

You starred the car and immediately drove back to the enemy base.

Once you arrived, you parked the van and shot the enemy Scout until the door suddenly opened.

Outside you saw Heavy and Medic got blown up by the enemy soldier, then Spy uncloaked holding a blue briefcase and he immediately sat down.

"Go chérie, go!"

"Ay! Wait for me!" Scout said as you started up the car.

Before he could reach the van though, his head was suddenly blown off.

You immediately pushed down on the gas and drove off.

"What's that?" You asked as you drove back to base.

"The Intelligence." Spy said. "This is how we win the game cher."

You pulled up the the base and Spy immediately rushed inside and set the briefcase on a blue pressure plate.

Once he set it down, the timer stopped at 15 minutes and 43 seconds.

"Ah hah! Nous l'avons fait chérie!"

You cheered as the other men were teleported back to base one by one.

"My first battle!"

[Hope you enjoyed. Stay tuned for more and have a good day]

<-Chapter Seven

Chapter Nine->