#(i’m definitely missing a few that i will be kicking myself for later)

[eunsjisoo]

ohhh what kind of fun plans do you have in store? my December is going well! however I realized I still haven't bought any presents and time is quickly running out on that front. may I help you is very cute! although it could benefit from having more of our leads being happy together and less of all the shennagins happening in the background making them sad :( another question for you....who are your favorite characters (all-time or of this year) and maybe a little bit about why you like them?

it’s been a lot of xmas related plans. so i had my work xmas party last friday, and i spent the weekend just recovering from that. and tomorrow, i’m flying to the eastern states to meet up with a few friends that i haven’t seen in years and to go for the dpr concert on saturday (which i am so excited for!!). and next week is xmas, and i’m on the same boat as you with presents. i’m hoping to squeeze in some time this weekend to do some last minute christmas shopping.

yesss, the leads are so cute together, but i feel like we barely had an episode of them being in the honeymoon stage before the whole brother thing was brought up. now it’s a little too heavy for them to go back to having cute scenes together until the mystery has been resolved.

ooooh i have so many characters to add to this list but i’ll narrow it to 10 (5 from this year and 5 for all time):

ko mi ho (big mouth) - i will forever be pissed off with how big mouth ended but my love for ko mi ho will prevail. i love that she stood for what she believed in and she was the heart and soul of the big mouse team.

do hae yi (cheer up) - i absolutely adore her cheerful personality and her determination towards her goals and her loved ones. and the shenanigans that she gets up to, comedy gold! 

park tae joon (love all play) - i’m a sucker for male leads with golden retriever energy. and this drama made me fall for chae jong hyup. 

choi joon woong (tomorrow) - partly because i’m biased towards sf9 members who act, but mostly because joon woong was the golden retriever type of character where his heart was always in the right place, but the execution of his plans wasn’t as intended.

nam han joon (cafe minamdang) - again, partly because of my bias towards seo in guk, but mostly because this man was equal parts smart and chaotic. seo in guk truly thrived in this role!

song ji won (age of youth 2) - this woman was pure chaos in human form but in the most lovable way. i loved that age of youth 2 really gave her character more depth and really delved into her past and the things that made her the way she was in season 1. 

eun ji soo (he is psychometric) - i feel like if i didn’t add ji soo to this list, i don’t have the right to have this url. to me, eun jisoo was the lighthouse for the psychometric team. she was the light in their dark lives, and she was this constant source of warmth, guidance and strength for the team. now that i think about it, she has a lot of similarities with ko mi ho - i clearly have a type haha

baek ho rang (live on) - i feel like live on was such an underrated drama. the thing i loved about baek ho rang, was that while she appeared very cold and unfeeling, she was someone who cared deeply about her loved one. but i feel like because of her trauma, she didn’t know how to open up to people again without that fear that she would be hurt again. 

kim eun hee (my unfamiliar family) - i feel like i related to eun hee a lot, which is kinda weird because i’m not the middle child. in a way, she is very much the diplomat of the family and she tries to keep the peace by acting carefree and upbeat. 

lee do hwa (extraordinary you) - three words: golden retriever boyfriend. he was so soft and lovable and sweet and he deserved the world! also his friendship with dan ho is one of my all time fave friendships!

[bless-my-demons]

Redamancy: Chapter Twenty-Four

Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: Tooth-rotting fluff, cuss words, and… angst

Notes: I fell asleep after I decided to add a Jasper dialogue last night… I’m sorry it’s later than normal lol remember, I told yall Jasper has to make up for his being gone😌🫣

Word Count: 2373

Series Masterlist

• March 20th, 2006 • Forks HS •

Reader

The weekend passed by in a blur, I spent it wishing I got more time with Jasper, but he desperately needed to hunt. So that left me with Quil, if he noticed my far-away mind, he didn’t comment, the new video game he picked up Friday occupied most of his attention.

Friday. I jumped off a cliff with Bella, was rescued by Quil’s ex-best friend, and then the object of my every waking thought showed up at my doorstep.

Friday was a long day, to say the least.

Which brings us to today - Monday. I have to go to school as if it were a normal fucking day, like my weekend hadn’t changed the trajectory of my life. Like my other best friend isn’t in Italy right now fighting to save the man she loves.

Slamming the door shut to my locker, I turn towards the direction of second period when a hulking mass at the other end of the hallway stops me short.

The blonde next to him grins, gracefully walking in my direction as if no more than the weekend had passed since I last saw them.

“Life has been rather dull without you.” Rosalie brings me into a delicate hug, the smile on her face growing.

“I missed you too.” The words aren’t much more than a whisper and my heart twists in my chest, they’re really back.

My eyes haven’t left his and they’re so full of sadness. The hallway empties out, but neither of us has managed to move an inch or look away.

Rose nudges me, “Go.”

A simple word, but the command moves my feet. It started off as one step and then two, but then I’m halfway down the hallway in a full sprint. Emmett takes one large step and then another before I fling myself into his arms, wrapping my own tightly around his neck.

“I hate you.” The words aren’t true, but this ache in my chest can’t be described any other way.

“I know.” His words are muffled as he lifts me.

“I missed you every day.” Tears well in my eyes, making it hard to see the grin splitting Rosalie’s face.

“I missed you more.” He argues back.

Safety, that’s Emmett McCarty Cullen. He’s strength and power and softness that only a man his size with his heart could exude. He is the definition of protector - someone that would go to any lengths to safeguard those closest to him. And just his hugs alone could cure anything, the hug of a brother who cares immensely.

“You left me.” The tremble in my voice gives my hurting heart away.

He clears his throat, “And I put him through hell every day for it.”

“He really has.” Rose confirms, full on smiling at me.

Emmett sets me back down on my own two feet, holding my shoulders in his massive hands, “Never again, I can promise you that.”

“Emmett-” I start, but he isn’t having it.

“Nope, we’re already late for class and I have some catching up to do.” Winking, he offers me one arm and his mate the other, leading us in the direction of next period.

• March 21st, 2006 • Home •

Reader

“Hey, you got a sec?” Knocking on the door frame to my mother’s bedroom, I watch as she turns off her tv.

“For you? Always honey, c’mere.” She pats the bed in front of her, her full attention making me a little nervous.

I sit and work up the courage for a few beats. “He’s back.”

“I know, I saw Doctor Cullen at work yesterday.” Her calm answer surprises me.

“I’m not sure what to do, momma.” I pull at her old bed spread, hoping for some words of wisdom.

“Well, you have options.” Her warm hands cover mine and encourage me to meet her eyes. “You can kick him to the curb since he dropped off the face of the earth for six months.”

“Or?” I ask, provoking her to complete her unfinished advice.

“Or, you can give him another chance.” A beat of silence while I weighed her answer. “You don’t have to do it right away either, you can ask for space to think about it. You can make him talk it out too.”

I process the possibility of cutting him out of my life for all of half a second before my heart tells me it’s impossible.

“Talk to him, I know you need to.” My mother has always been able to read me like a book, it’s why it’s so easy to get along with her.

“Why give me options? Why not forbid me to see him?”

Her knowing smile grows, “Because you’ll do what you want anyways. And no matter how much I want to protect my baby,” she lovingly strokes my cheek, “you have to navigate this in a way that heals that pretty heart of yours. I’d be failing you as a parent to not allow you to figure this out.”

“Mom-” tears threaten the corners of my eyes.

“Don’t think that means I’ll cut him some slack.” She jokes, but her tone includes some seriousness. “He hurt my baby.”

“I love you, you know that?”

“Always sweet pea, I love you too.” She delivers a sloppy kiss to my cheek before reclining back to her previous tv-watching position.

Rising from her bed with a lighter heart in my chest, she stops me at her doorway, “I got your back kid, whatever you decide.”

I turn and give her a genuine smile, “I know, thanks mom.”

• March 22nd, 2006 • Forks HS •

Reader

Setting my tray down at the dubbed “Cullen table” I make direct eye contact with Edward as I stand before the siblings.

Don’t fucking do that again.

His face splits with a grin. “To which are you referring?”

Leaving her, leaving your family, going to Volterre with a death wish, you fucking idiot.

He actually laughs at my angry directive thoughts, the bastard.

You have people that care about you, you know. My eyes soften as his meet mine seriously. Including me. I’m glad you’re safe. And home.

He nods, unable to meet my eyes now.

“I’d hug you if you weren’t so adverse to physical affection.” Before I finish my statement, he rises from his chair to round the table towards me.

Shock roots me to the spot as his arms envelop lightly around my frame, my arms hesitantly wrapping around the tall Cullen after a beat.

“Thank you.” It’s whispered low enough for just me to hear and he’s returning to his seat.

Emmett’s jaw practically hits the floor, “You’ve never given me a hug-”

“Because your hugs are rather violent in their intensity.” Edward notates.

“But-” Emmett whines.

“No ‘buts’, I’m his favorite.” Sticking out my tongue at Emmett as I take my seat next to Jasper, the jealous vampire launches into a deep explanation of why he must be the family favorite.

“Thank you for starting something I will never hear the end of.” Jasper leans over to whisper in my ear as I grin at Edward who rolls his eyes.

“Glad to be of service.”

Reader

That afternoon I rode with Alice to the Cullen’s after school, something about an intervention with Bella and their family. And naturally, the curious part of me agreed to tag along.

The moment her car comes to a stop in their driveway, Jasper is opening my door and offering me a steadying hand.

“Do you know what this is about?” I ask, watching as Alice skips ahead of us.

“Not a clue, sweet girl.” He answers, leading me inside his family home.

His cool hand enveloping mine sends a pang through my chest, it’s like none of this is real - I’m just in some heavy dream. I’ve wished and hoped for their return with every fucking cell in my body, but now that they’re back? It’s surreal and I’m on edge - I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Standing loosely in a circle in the living room, our attention turns to Bella on the stairs, Edward looming behind her.

“You all know what I want. And I know how much I’m asking for. The only thing I can think of, for it to be fair, is to just vote.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“Shut up.” Bella shushes Edward from his grumbling.

Bella is asking them to vote on her becoming a vampire? A slight tremble begins in my hands, this isn’t exactly a debate I’d wished to be a part of. I mean, what would this mean for me? Would we eventually have one of these for me?

“Alice?” Bella asks, opting for starting with the one securely in her corner.

“I already consider you my sister.” She surges forward to wrap her in a hug. “Yes.”

One vote yes.

“Thank you.”

“I vote yes.” The rumble of Jasper’s chest under the hand I have placed there stops my breathing. “It would be nice to not want to kill you all the time.”

It would be nice to not want to kill you all the time. The words ring in my ears and burn my chest, repeating.

Two votes yes.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry to both of you for how I’ve acted. And I’m really grateful that you were brave enough to go and save my brother.” Rosalie’s next sentence a quiet confession within her answer, “But this isn’t a life I would’ve chosen for myself. And I wish there had been someone there to vote no for me. So, no.”

A breath, one vote no.

“I vote hell yeah.” Em spins her around in his excitement, “We can pick a fight with these Volturi some other day.”

Three votes yes, one vote no.

“I already consider you a part of the family, yes.” Esme happily gives her blessing as Carlisle steps forward to look at Edward.

Four votes yes, it’s almost unanimous.

“Why are you doing this to me?” He asks his adoptive father. “You know what this means.”

“You’ve chosen not to live without her, which leaves me no choice. I won’t lose my son.”

Carlisle’s answer is like a gavel being slammed down, sealing her fate, confirming what she wants.

Bella meets my eyes, even I can tell relief floods them as I’m sure anxiety fills mine. She’s going to turn into one of them - a vampire.

Jasper

After a few heavy minutes following the votes of my family, I turn to Y/n.

“Would you like to go home? It’s getting late.” I ask her, but her eyes are distant.

Immediately I gently probe at her emotions, but I can feel her trying to suppress them. I furrow my brow as I look down at her, why is she hiding from me?

I tilt her chin back and she removes herself entirely. Ice, I know as a vampire my core temperature is already low from the absence of blood in my system, but with her physical departure - it feels as though every ounce of warmth has been zapped from my very soul.

“I need time.” Her request is hardly a whisper and her eyes still refuse to meet mine.

Shock roots me to the floor, time? She’s asking for time from me. Not with, from. Away. Without.

And I must grant it to her. I’d give her anything in this world she would ask for.

I remove myself a step back from her even though my chest wishes to tug me forward.

“Emmett?” I ask aloud, not taking my eyes from her, he immediately answers by way of flashing to my side. “Take her home?”

“Of course, but-?” Curiosity tinged with sadness finishes what he fails to ask.

“Just get her home safe, please.” I step aside, forcing my eyes to my shoes as I clear the path to the front door for them.

Emmett escorts her outside and I swear, every bit of strength leaves and threatens to buckle me. I watch as the Jeep’s tail lights disappear down the driveway from the front windows.

“It’s the right thing to do.” Esme lays a hand on my shoulder as she watches with me, I hate the truth in her words. “She needs to process everything, we haven’t given her the chance and now this with Isabella, it’s a lot.”

“I know.”

Love. “Come here.”

I turn into her waiting arms, the overwhelming urge to cry hits me like a fucking freight train when her arms pull me close.

“She will be back, just be patient with her.”

“What if she realizes-”

“Nonsense, she’s hopelessly in love with you.”

I pull back to inspect her face, “What?”

She smiles at me in only the way a mother really can, “My son, trust me. Give her a few days, but she needs to know that love is returned.”

“How do you-”

“I’ve known since the day you first brought her home. I knew then she was yours before you ever figured out she was your singer, I’m a mom like that.” Winking at me, she pats my shoulder. “She makes you happier, lighter. It makes me happy to finally see that in you.”

Venomous tears make my vision swim, more often than not I take the fact that Esme mothers us in ways unique to every single one of us for granted.

Glancing down, I clear my throat like a typical male trying to avoid being emotional, “Thank you, Esme.”

“Dear, you never have to thank me, I love you more than you know.”

“I love you too.” I kiss her on the cheek, our talk having smoothed out my frayed nerves.

Time. I can give her time to think, to process everything that’s happened in the last week. But then she’s mine - she has to know how I feel about her. And if she wants nothing to do with me after that?

Well, I guess I’d give her that too.

But not until after I fight for her, because fighting for her is in my bones. Fighting is all I’ve ever known and it’s time I put it to good use.

Next

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[stevie-petey]

episode two: the weirdo on maple street

Trying to ease the awkwardness, you hold up a poster and offer it to them, but Steve snatches it from your grasp. “Henderson, didn’t know you were also a little know-it-all. Why don’t you share your review sheet with the rest of us?” He says, casting a teasing look your way. It isn’t until he inspects the piece of paper that he finally notices that it’s a missing poster for a child, not a review sheet. “Oh, shit. I’m so sorry.” You snatch the poster back from him. “You’re an idiot, Steve Harrington.”

summary: you use your limited psych knowledge to help a bald girl, you force jonathan to accept $20 and he's later an ass to you, steve doesn't know what a "missing" poster looks like, and it's really hard being a single mother to now four kids.

rating: general, but there's cursing as usual and steve being... well, steve - but hes still season 1 steve so give him some time

warnings: cursing, fem!reader, use of y/n, and there's more angst in this chapter with some fighting between reader and jonathan, so fair warning.

words: 10.1k (the longest thing ive ever written)

before you swing in: i'm almost done with chapter 4, so here's a sweet treat as i cram for exams lmao. some housekeeping: should i do a tag list ? i got a few questions about it, so pls let me know soldiers. also, i feel the need to clarify that i adore nancy but for plot reasons - reader and her don't really get along (but they def will later, trust me). season 1 nancy and steve are just so silly. anyways, i hope y'all enjoy this loooong chapter. the rest definitely aren't as lengthy due to plot, but wow. i amazed myself. carry on !

-

Your jeans drip onto the Wheeler’s carpet, and you’ve definitely left a wet imprint on the couch cushion beneath you. The other boys are dripping as well, but all their attention is on the girl in front of them. 

After finding her in the woods, your motherly instincts kicked in, immediately removing your coat to place on her and gently ushering her to your bike and demanding that the boys go back to Mike’s. Your mom is home, so your house was out of the question, and it’s always been easy sneaking into the Wheeler’s, anyways. 

Once you all had made it back, you guided the girl onto the couch and sat next to her. You refuse to let her go too far from you, having no idea where she came from or why, but regardless you know she’s too young for any of it to have been good. 

Which leads you to now: wearily watching the boys stare at the girl as if she’s some science experiment, asking her a million questions a second.

Bless them and their little prepubescent minds. 

Lucas reaches out to touch her, and before you can nudge him away, Mike slaps at his hand. “Stop it! You’re freaking her out!”

“She’s freaking me out!” Lucas retaliates, which honestly? That’s fair. The girl hasn’t said anything yet, even after your multiple attempts to get her to do so. No matter how much you try, you can’t coax a response out of her. 

“I bet she’s deaf.” Your brother offers, suddenly clapping his hands to scare her, making both you and her flinch. “Not deaf…”

You roll your eyes at him. “Guys, she’s probably just really scared right now. We should give her some space,” you look at both Lucas and Dustin, “and time,” now you look at Mike. The three boys deflate a bit. 

“She’s probably cold,” Mike says after a moment of silence, and you nod at his suggestion. Seeing your agreement, he walks over to a basket of clothes and takes out some pajamas.

While Mike is away, thunder rumbles and the girl jumps, unconsciously getting closer to you. You wrap an arm around her reassuringly, making note that she doesn’t like loud noises. If anything, she’s showing more and more signs of trauma response, which makes you uneasy. You remember Hopper saying something about Will being in danger. What are the odds that this little girl was running from something as well?

“Here, these are clean.” Mike’s return breaks you from your thoughts, and you take the clothes from him and stand up. You thank him, then offer your hand to the girl. She looks at you uncertainly. 

“It’s okay,” you reassure her. “Let’s go get you dressed in some warm clothes. I’m right here, sweetheart.” 

“She’s super nice.” Dustin says, trying to help.

Lucas adds, “Yeah, you can trust her.” 

“She’s alright.” Is all Mike offers.

You give them all an appreciative smile, even if Mike is being a bit of an ass, and then you feel a small, cold hand wrap around yours. The girl stands up, looking around shyly, and you lead her to the bathroom. When you go to close the door, she stops you.

Mike has followed, seeing the interaction. “You don’t want it closed?”

Her voice is quiet, solemn. “No,”

You and Mike look at each other, and he voices what you’re thinking. “So you can speak.”

He looks excited about this new information, and you shove his head out of the doorway. She needs to get dressed. “We’ll leave the door cracked, okay?”

She nods at you, and you stand guard outside the door. It’s not that you don’t trust the boys, but Mike has only known her for ten minutes and he’s already been nicer to her than you’ve ever seen him with anyone else. The only other person he’s this soft spoken to is Will, so you’re protective of her. 

You can hear the boys discussing tonight’s events from the living area while the girl gets dressed. They sound scared, and a part of you can’t blame them. While you’re fairly certain that the girl isn’t dangerous, it’s still a creepy situation. Once again, Hopper’s new theory surrounding Will floats through your mind. This all can’t be some coincidence. 

Sighing, you approach the boys and catch a bit of the conversation. 

“Our houses become Alcatraz.” You hear Lucas saying, and you figure they’ve finally pieced together that there’s no way any of you can tell anyone about the girl. None of you were supposed to be out tonight. As much as you know you should tell an adult, you also need to be able to help Jonathan with finding Will. If your mom locks the house down, you’re doomed. 

“Lucas is right,” the boys turn to you. “We can’t go to anyone about this just yet, but I also don’t think it’s a good idea to hide her. She’s been through something terrible, it’s obvious. Tonight, I say she gets some rest. We can figure out what to do later.” 

Mike nods, for once agreeing wholeheartedly with you. “She’ll sleep here tonight-”

Dustin’s eyes widen in horror, “You’re letting a girl-”

You clamp your hand over his mouth, motioning for Mike to continue.

“Thanks, Y/N. In the morning, she sneaks around my house, goes to the front door and rings my doorbell. My mom will answer and know exactly what to do. She’ll send her back to Pennhurst,”

They think she’s from Pennhurst? You think, but don’t verbalize it.

“Or wherever she comes from. We’ll be totally in the clear! And tomorrow night, we go back out, and this time we find Will.”

You gotta hand it to Mike Wheeler, he may be a pain in the ass, but he’s a smart pain in the ass. The plan is pretty sound, so long as he follows through with it. However, it’s him following through with it that leaves you a bit unsure. 

He looks at you for approval, and you hesitantly nod. “It’s a pretty good plan, Wheeler. So long as you stick to it.” 

Lucas and Dustin nod along with you, there’s an unspoken sense of doubt that Mike will actually be able to turn the girl over to his mom. Then she walks out, dressed now in some of Nancy’s old clothes. She draws into herself when you all turn to her, shy. You walk over and offer your hand again, which she accepts. 

“Mike, go find her something to sleep on. Dustin, we gotta go soon before mom notices we’re gone.”

Both boys comply, with Mike searching for a sleeping bag and Dustin packing up his stuff. You crouch down next to the girl, so that you’re face to face, and give her a warm smile. “It was lovely meeting you. My name is Y/N, I hope Mike over there doesn’t give you a hard time tonight.” 

Mike flips you off, having heard you. “If he’s annoying,” you lean in close to her now, whispering in her ear. “You have my permission to pinch him.”

The girl giggles, finally relaxing a bit, and you warm with pride. She’ll be okay, she seems like a very resilient girl and you’ll oddly miss her. 

The two other boys are waiting for you upstairs. You all wish Mrs. Wheeler a good night and head out. Thankfully the rain has now stopped, so the bike ride home isn’t bad. You stop at Lucas’ turn to make sure he gets home safely before finally arriving at your place. As Dustin begins pedaling into your driveway, you don’t follow. 

“I’m going to go see Jonathan, he didn’t answer my calls earlier and I just…”

Dustin waves at you, not even bothering to turn around. “Yeah yeah, go see your boyfriend. If mom asks, you’re asleep.” 

“He’s not my boyfriend-”

“Are you seriously going to argue with me after I offered to cover for you?”

Your brother gives you a pointed look, and you know he’s right. “Touche.” 

Dustin goes to leave, but you quickly grab at his jacket. “Before I forget, swear to me that you’ll keep me updated if anything weird happens, okay?”

He nods at you, knowing better than to argue, and gives you a mock salute as he heads inside. 

The living room light is on when you arrive at the Byers home, despite the late hour, but you aren’t surprised. You knock on the door and wait. When no one comes, you knock again, a bit louder this time. After another few moments, the door swings open. 

Jonathan has a finger over his lips in a shushing manner, motioning to Joyce who is passed out on the couch. You nod, letting him know you understand. The two of you go to his room and when he closes the door, you finally get a good look at him. He looks worse than he did earlier, the bags under his eyes have somehow gotten darker. His hair is a mess, his eyes bloodshot. 

“You’re soaked.” Jonathan says. 

“Yeah,” he doesn’t want to talk about it yet, so you play along. “Got caught in the rain. Are some of my spare clothes still in your bottom drawer?”

He nods at you, going over and grabbing a t-shirt and pajama pants for you. You accept them gratefully and excuse yourself to the bathroom to change. Your bones are cold, the rain seemingly having penetrated the layers of your skin. In the mirror you see that your own eyes are bloodshot; you don’t look much better than Jonathan, really.

When you return Jonathan is sitting on his bed, so you join him. It’s silent between you, all you can hear is his breathing. You stare straight ahead, so does he, and you wait. You’ve only seen Jonathan like this a handful of times, where the stress and anxiety becomes too much for him. He shuts down, draws into himself, and all you can do is wait for him to return to you; he always does. 

“Mom got a call tonight.” Jonathan’s voice is hoarse, and he looks frail. You wonder if he ever did end up making the spaghetti you prepared for him.

“Who was it?”

He swallows heavily, taking a moment to respond. “She said it was Will.”

“Will?” You look at him now, searching for any signs on his face, his voice lacks emotion. By the way he stares blankly ahead, as if he’s not really present with you right now, you know that it hadn’t been Will on the other end. 

“She started freaking out, going ballistic,” his voice cracks a bit, so you take a chance and reach for his hand. He lets you take it, giving you a squeeze, before continuing. “She was screaming, begging whoever it was to give Will back.” 

Jonathan pauses again. You don’t say anything, because no words will help. He’s never been the type for comforting words, anyways. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. “It wasn’t him. Lightning struck and our phone got charred. It wasn’t Will.”

Now it’s your turn to squeeze Jonathan’s hand. He doesn’t deserve any of this. None of the Byers do. Out of the entire town, they’re the family who deserves the most that life can give. Will, too good. Jonathan, too selfless. Joyce, too loving. They’re the best damn people you know. 

“I tried calming her down, but she was hysterical. She’s only asleep right now because she worked herself up too much and passed out. I’m worried she-'' Jonathan shakes his head, as if ashamed by his own words. “I’m worried she’s going crazy, Y/N.”

He’s quiet again, but you can tell he’s about to break. His knee is now bouncing up and down and his breathing has become slightly ragged. Everything from today has been building up, it was only a matter of time before he snapped. You’re also worried about Joyce, a part of you skeptical to believe her, but the little girl you found tonight in the rain? Something was definitely weird about Will’s disappearance, but you’re hesitant to tell Jonathan just yet. For all you know, she could’ve simply been a girl who got lost and will be returned to her family tomorrow. 

You don’t want to worry Jonathan any more than you need to.

“I should’ve been there for him. I shouldn’t have taken that shift.” He gasps out, and like a dam the tears begin to fall. You’re quick to pull him into a hug and he crumbles into you. His body shakes with violent sobs and he clutches at you as if afraid you’ll leave.

“You can’t blame yourself.” You whisper, stroking a hand through his hair. He cries even harder, the force of it almost enough to knock you over, so you situate yourself so that you’re fully on the bed, laying against his pillows, with Jonathan crying into your chest beside you. 

“He’s g-gone.”

“We’ll find him, I promise.” Your own tears threaten to come out, but you force them down. You have to be here for him, he needs you. The only other time Jonathan has so openly cried was when Lonnie left years ago. He’s been holding everything in since then, all those years of looking after his family, taking care of his brother, getting harassed by assholes like Tommy Hagan. 

Neither of you say anything else, and you know that Jonathan needs to let it all out. You soothe him as best as you can, running a hand through his hair, stroking his back, reassuring him over and over again that none of this is his fault until your own voice becomes hoarse. You don’t know how long you stay like this, but sometime during the night Jonathan finally falls asleep, and you follow shortly after him. 

— 

Sunlight streams through Jonathan’s spare bed sheet that he’s pinned over his window, serving as a makeshift curtain, waking you up. You stretch, careful not to wake the boy beside you, and crawl out of the bed. You’re antsy, already knowing that today will be another long day. After grabbing some clothes from your designated drawer and getting dressed, you head into the kitchen and start making a quick breakfast. Just as you’re finishing up, Jonathan comes out of his room, dressed and ready for the day.

Neither of you say anything about the night prior, instead silently working around each other in the kitchen with years of practiced ease. He hands you the salt shaker right when you need it, you grab the pieces of toast that he popped into the toaster, the two of you never once get in each other’s way. You get deja vu, remembering all the times you’ve slept over with Dustin, you and Jonathan making the boys breakfast while they slept in. 

The only indication that last night really happened is a forehead kiss from Jonathan, his lips soft against your head. Out of the two of you, you’re definitely the touchy one, so it’s always a nice surprise when he initiates the touch, and his forehead kisses were a welcome rarity. 

When the plates have been made, Joyce gets up from the couch and stumbles over to the table. You quickly help her sit down, and for the first time since Will’s disappearance you’re able to really look at her. She looks like Jonathan, only worse. The bags under her eyes are darker, her hair is more matted, and you believe she’s still wearing the same shirt you saw her in the night that Will went missing. 

“All right, mom. Breakfast is ready.” Jonathan tries to place her plate on the table, but Joyce stops him, worried about the poster of Will. 

Jonathan gives you a look and you run over to the table, grabbing the poster so that he can set the plate down. 

Joyce gives you a tired smile, “Thank you, Y/N, but I can’t eat.”

“I just need you to eat, mom.” 

“Jonathan’s right, Mrs. Byers. You need to eat, we gotta keep your strength up.” You feel like you’re talking to a child, but in a way, you suppose you are. 

The woman lights a cigarette instead, and faintly you wonder how many she’s had within the last 48 hours; you’ll need to wash your clothes when you get home. She begins to ask Jonathan to go to Xerox to make as many copies of Will’s poster as possible. You sit down in front of her, silently eating, knowing there’s no place for you in this conversation. 

It’s not that the Byers are ashamed that they have little money, but you know it’s rude to listen in. They make do with what they have, and Jonathan has never felt embarrassed with you knowing it. 

“I don’t want you to go alone,” Joyce says, causing you to speak up. 

“I’ll go with him and help hang them up, it’s no problem.” 

Jonathan turns to you. “You have that chem test, remember? I’m not letting you miss that.” 

“Shit…” you bury your face into your hands. You completely forgot about that after finding the little girl last night and dealing with Jonathan. You’ve heard about how impossible the chem exams were, and science has never been your best subject. That was Dustin’s thing, your thing was more humanities. 

“You’re the smartest person I know, you’ll ace the exam,” Jonathan reassures you before turning to his mom. “And I’ll handle the posters, it’s okay.” 

Joyce has been lost in thought during your conversation with her son, only beginning to speak again when she’s asked how many copies will be efficient. Once she starts speaking again, it’s almost like she’s physically unable to stop. She begins to ramble, finally exposing the crumbling woman that you’ve only heard about, now understanding Jonathan’s fears for her. 

“Mom-”

“If we… ten cents-”

“Mom!” Jonathan raises his voice a bit, now grabbing at his mother’s hand. “You can’t get like this, okay?”

The look on Joyce’s face kills you. She looks so lost, ashamed of her behavior, and you cast your head down; this is a private matter. Joyce profusely apologizes to him and all Jonathan can do is gently reassure her that it’s okay. All of this is okay. 

Their tender moment is interrupted by knocking on the front door, revealing Hopper on the other side. His presence makes you uneasy, so you stay in the kitchen and begin to clean up with Jonathan while Joyce attacks him with questions. 

“A little bit of trust here, alright? We’ve been searching all night.” You hear the cop say. Your hand clenches the sponge, rubbing a bit harder at the plate you’re cleaning. If they’ve been searching all night, why are they here now?

“Went all the way to Cartersville.” Ever since Will disappeared, you’ve been building a wall of hope within you that he’ll be found safe and sound. However, with every passing day, with every new situation that occurs, you can feel a piece of the wall collapse. You can feel it now; the search party went all the way to Cartersville.

“And?” Joyce asks. 

“Nothing.” The cry that Joyce lets out causes you to drop the plate you’ve been cleaning, shattering on the floor. You curse, immediately bending down to pick up the pieces. Luckily it didn’t shatter into a million bits, but you still feel horrible for breaking one of their dishes. 

Jonathan bends down as well to help, and the commotion catches Hopper’s attention. He sees you scrambling to clean up the mess and sighs with annoyance. “Does she live here or something?” 

You and Jonathan look at each other, a slight smile on your faces, and only respond to Hopper with a synchronized shrug. You basically do live at the Byers’ at this point, you have been for years now. It was the same for Jonathan: if you weren’t at his house, he was at yours. 

Joyce wipes some of her tears away. “Y/N is family, she’s here to help.” 

Hopper ignores this, instead bringing up the phone call from the night before. Joyce leads him over to the phone, and you join them once you’ve collected the remaining pieces of broken glass. When you see the phone, you can’t help but gasp. Jonathan’s words from last night are accurate, the phone is charred. 

“Storm barbecued this pretty good.” Hopper says.

Joyce waves her arms out, disbelieving. “The storm? You’re saying that that’s not… weird?”

“No, it’s weird.” Hopper begins, but you cut him off. 

“It’s really weird.”

He glares at you. You mumble a quick sorry and back away a bit while Jonathan asks if the call can be traced. Hopper focuses back on the situation at hand, informing him that it isn’t possible and then questions if Joyce even heard Will in the first place. The question makes you cringe, knowing it’ll only make Joyce more agitated and hurt.

“Flo said you just heard some breathing.” 

It’s the way he phrases the question, the way he emphasizes the word “just”, that bothers you. This woman has just lost her kid, what kind of mother wouldn’t know her own child’s breathing?

“Even if it was ‘just’ some breathing, I’d know it was my brother. Will is her son, she’d know better than anyone.” You find yourself saying. The words weren’t meant to leave your mouth, but the appreciative look Joyce casts your way outweighs the fear from Hopper’s glare. 

“It was him. It was Will, and he was scared. Then something-”

“It was probably just a prank call,” Hopper tries to reason with her, causing you to roll your eyes at him. You respect the guy, you do, but could he at least attempt to listen to Joyce?

You excuse yourself before you say anything else, heading back into the kitchen to collect the two posters you and Jonathan made. While the others talk, you grab his things and pack his bag for him. You know he’ll probably skip school today to get the copies done in time, maybe keep an eye on his mom, so you make a mental note to inform him later that you’ll help with putting the fliers up the second you’re done with the exam. He needs someone there for him. 

When you’ve grabbed the last of Jonathan’s things, Lonnie’s name is mentioned. You freeze, standing right outside the hall from them, only a wall between you. If Lonnie is somehow involved in this, you’ll kill him yourself. He was always cruel to Will, even when you were around to witness it. You hate him more than anything in this damn world. 

“It’s been long enough, I’m having him checked out.” Hopper declares, storming out of the house. 

You count to three in your head, and the second you get to three, Jonathan is following after Hopper. You knew he would, hating his father the most out of everyone who has had the displeasure of meeting him. You follow behind him, heading outside to talk to the Chief. 

“Hey, Hopper. Let me go.” 

Hopper takes a drag from his cigarette, facing the two of you. “I’m sorry?”

“To Lonnie’s,” Jonathan says, looking at you for backup.

You do your best to try. “If Will’s there, that means he probably ran away. Cops will scare the poor boy, he’ll think he’s in trouble.”

“And he’ll hide. He’s good at hiding.” Jonathan finishes for you. 

Hopper stares at you both, inhaling more smoke from his cigarette and blowing it in your direction with a curious look in his eyes. “You two are sickening to be near, you know that?”

You and Jonathan share an annoyed look. A kid is missing, and you still have to clarify that you aren’t together? “It’s not like that,” Jonathan says.

“Sure, you know cops are good at detecting lies,” Hopper approaches him now, grabbing his shoulders. For a brief second you’re afraid he’ll hurt him. “And we’re also good at finding, okay? Stay here with your mom. She needs you.” 

Hopper punches at Jonathan’s shoulder before facing you. “And you,” you brace for whatever he’s about to say, knowing you probably aren’t his favorite person at the moment. He points at Jonathan, “He needs you.”

His words hang in the air several minutes after he’s gone. You glance at Jonathan, but he doesn’t meet your eye and instead he goes back inside. You sigh, following after him because it’s what you do. Hopper’s right, he needs you. 

Jonathan’s in the living room, speaking softly to his mom when you enter. You don’t disturb them but rather snatch Jonathan’s keys from the counter and wait for him by the door. Like Joyce said, Xerox opens in about thirty minutes and you have a chem exam to take. If you leave now, you’ll be able to make the copies with him and be back in time before school.

The ride to Xerox is tense, you know Jonathan is upset that he’s been sidelined by Hopper. You also know that he’s torn between wanting to help his mom and staying out of his house as much as possible. If it weren’t for your god damn chem test you’d offer to skip and hide out at your place, but you can’t. Jonathan wouldn’t let you risk your future for him (even though you would, in a heartbeat, a million times over). 

The man at Xerox gives Jonathan a look of pity, clearly recognizing Will’s picture on the poster. It’s your favorite photo of him, smiling with all his teeth and happy as can be. From what you’ve heard, the whole town has been conducting search parties for him. Jonathan ignores the look and asks for the 200 copies to be made. 

It’s just you and him in the store as you wait for the prints to be done. The guy said it’d be about a ten minute wait so you wander around the store. Jonathan clearly is in a no talking mood, so you occupy yourself with whatever you find. You wish you’d brought your backpack to Jonathan’s last night so you could at least study a bit while waiting, but you didn’t. It’d be a miracle if you pass this exam. 

Jonathan wanders around as well, so you give a quick look around and find the employee. He’s standing over the printer when you approach. “I’d like to pay for the copies, please.”

“You can pay after they’re done-”

“No, I can’t let him see,” you point over to Jonathan, who is now looking at some stationary. “Please, just let me pay now so he can yell at me later.” 

The guy gives you a shrug, clearly not getting paid enough to care. “Okay, it’ll be $20. Just leave the money on the counter over there, the prints should be done soon.” 

You nod and do as you’re told, leaving the $20 bill on the counter while Jonathan isn’t looking. He can kill you later, right now you want to make up for not being able to help with hanging them up. There’s literally hundreds to get through, he can’t do that all alone. 

When the posters are done and Jonathan collects them, you wish the worker a good day and then wrap your arms around him and use all your strength to drag your friend into the car. He doesn't fight back at first, too confused by your actions, and you’re almost out the door before he sees the man pocket the money and wave at you. The dots connect in his head and Jonathan begins to fight against you. 

“Y/N, let me pay-”

“Nope. Not happening!”

“We both know I’m stronger-”

“Debatable, honestly, seeing as how we’re almost to your car.”

“Let go!” He tugs harshly as his arm, which you’ve got a secure hold on, causing you to stumble a bit. 

You plant your feet more firmly against the ground and use all your weight to pull the boy forward. You’re a few feet away from the car, just one more solid pull should do the trick. “Stop fighting this, Byers. I’ve already paid-”

“Which you shouldn’t have!”

“Keep fighting and drop all the posters, I dare you.”

Jonathan looks down at the posters in his spare hand, realizing that you’re right. If he doesn’t give in soon, they’ll topple over. He lets out an agitated groan, throwing his head back, and then marches over to the car to unlock it and fling himself into the driver’s seat. “Just get in.” 

You do a small victory dance and hop in the car.

“I hate you.” 

“You love me.” 

He hesitates only for a moment. “God, I hate that I do.” 

You smile, buckling your seatbelt. Jonathan pulls out of the parking lot and begins the drive to school. He’s less tense this time, at least. The small little wrestling match between the two of you seemingly did some good, then. 

When you pull up to school, you once again apologize to Jonathan for being unable to help. He waves you off, understanding. 

“It’s okay, I promise. I can’t have you failing out of high school because of me.”

You roll your eyes. “One test won’t make me become a high school dropout, Jonathan.”

He ruffles your hair, which you slap him for. “You can join me after, okay? Good luck, bug.” 

“Fine, but I’m taking some posters with me so I can hang up on my way to my locker.” 

“Deal.”

You run to your locker, flinging it open and letting out a sigh of relief when you spot your chem cards. Honestly, you really should’ve prepared better for your little sleepover at the Byers. You glance at the watch on your wrist, noting that you have roughly fifteen minutes to memorize all the elements in the periodic table as well as some chemistry definitions. 

Just peachy. 

You tie your hair up so you can focus better and grab the note cards. If you review the cards as you walk to class, you can save at least three minutes of studying time. You tuck the few remaining posters of Will under your arm and begin to head to your class, getting absorbed in all the elements and words. As you’re skimming a card about protein being K, you run into Nancy and Barb, who also seem to have the same idea as you.

“Oh, hey Y/N.” Nancy greets you, Barb waving to you as well. 

They’re being nice, so you try to make conversation. “Studying for Kaminsky’s test?”

They nod at you and Nancy sighs, “Yeah, his exams are the worst.”

You laugh a bit, for once on the same page as her. “I know. I spent last night at Jonathan’s, I completely forgot about the test until this morning. I’m screwed.”

Barb raises her eyebrows at you while Nancy suddenly looks sad. “Oh, I’m sorry about Will. I know you and him are close.” 

“Yeah, it must be hard taking care of Jonathan right now.” Barb voices. 

You give them both an awkward smile. “Thanks, I guess? It’s just, there’s still hope, so…” 

The three of you stand there as your voice trails off. It’s painfully awkward. While you’ve known Nancy since you were 12, and at some point you even called her a close friend of yours, the second you entered high school she became distant. You never blamed her for it, people simply grow up and grow apart. Now you only ever interact with her if it concerns the boys. 

Trying to ease the awkwardness, you hold up a poster and offer it to them, but Steve snatches it from your grasp.

“Henderson, didn’t know you were also a little know-it-all. Why don’t you share your cheat sheet with the rest of us?” He says, casting a teasing look your way. It isn’t until he inspects the piece of paper that he finally notices that it’s a missing poster for a child, not a review sheet. “Oh, shit. I’m so sorry.”

You snatch the poster back from him. “You’re an idiot, Steve Harrington.”

His friends laugh, but Steve has a bit of heart to look guilty, so you count that as something. His shame doesn’t last long though and the goofy and sweet boy who made sure you were okay after almost hitting you with his car is gone. 

Steve plays off the situation as if it were nothing. “Let me make it up to you, Henderson. I know you’re probably stressed out of your mind dealing with boyfriend troubles because of Bill-”

“His name is Will,” you grit out, remembering now why you dislike Steve so much. Everything was about impressing his friends, and while you can sympathize with him, it doesn’t give him an excuse to be an asshole. 

“Right, Will. Anyways, I was just about to inform Nance over here that my dad has left town on a conference and my mom’s gone with him, ‘cause, ya know, she doesn’t trust him.” 

“Good call,” Tommy says, and you glare at him. 

Steve carries on. “So, are you guys in?”

“In for what?” Nancy asks. 

“No parents, a big house?” Carol says, as if Nancy is a giant idiot.

You feel bad for her being treated so poorly by her boyfriend’s friends, so you lean in and whisper, “A party, Nancy.” Then you look at Steve. “And no, I’ll pass.” 

Steve pouts. “Can’t leave loverboy alone for a couple hours?”

You scoff, shoving the poster against his chest, using more force than probably necessary, but the satisfying grunt he lets out pleases you. “If I didn’t know you I’d say you sound jealous. Unfortunately, I do know you, and that’s exactly why I’m not interested.”

“Meow,” says Carol as she and Tommy laugh. 

You ignore her and push past the group to get to class. You’ve wasted enough time, you have to study. Steve lets you, hurt by your words, but tries to play it off, instead focusing his attention on Jonathan up ahead hanging up some posters. You both see him at the same time and as you start to approach him, you hear Steve and his group mock him. 

“God, that’s depressing.” Steve says, and you’ve never wanted to hit a man more than you do right now. 

You glance at Nancy, trying to convey your disappointment in her. She’s a nice girl, she shouldn’t be with an idiot like Harrington. Who the hell makes fun of a guy with a missing brother? Nancy doesn’t meet your eye, which pleases you. She should feel guilty. 

As you near Jonathan, Nancy calls after you to wait up. You listen, mostly because you’re surprised she even followed, and together you walk up to him. “Hey, bee. I thought you’d be long gone by now.” 

Jonathan looks up at your voice, surprised when he sees Nancy next to you. He gives you a look that you conclude is a what is she doing here? look and you can only shrug as if to say I have no clue how I ended up in this situation. 

Nancy doesn’t see this exchange. “Hey,”

“Hey,” Jonathan responds, still confused. 

Nancy looks at you uncertainly, but you refuse to leave. Screw your exam, if she even considers voicing her boyfriend’s opinions to Jonathan then you’ll personally see that she fails alongside you. “I just… I wanted to say, you know… I’m sorry, about everything.” 

Oh, she’s being nice. You’re still unimpressed, but Jonathan motions to you to stop staring her down, so you reluctantly listen. 

“Everyone’s thinking about you.”

You all turn towards Steve and his group, who are clearly listening in, and you snort at her words. “Right, obviously.” 

“Y/N.” Jonathan warns. 

“Sorry.” 

“It sucks.” Nancy continues, and you have to give her some credit. You’re being a blatant bitch, but she’s still trying. You feel a bit bad now, which honestly makes you dislike her a bit more. Damn morals. “I’m sure he’ll be fine, he’s a smart kid.” 

The bell rings, ending Nancy’s little monologue. “I have to go, chemistry test. Y/N, want to walk together?” 

She really makes it impossible to be a bitch to her. “Sure, just give me a second.”

You lean close to Jonathan and lower your voice. “Good luck with your dad, bee.” 

“How did you know I’d go-”

“Because of course you would. Now go, give him hell for me, will ya?”

Jonathan nods, relieved you aren’t pushing the topic. You know that Lonnie is a sore topic for him, for the entire Byers family, really. You only knew Lonnie for a year or so before Joyce left him, but you’ll never forget his spiteful words and the bruises that Jonathan tried to hide from you. He needs to do this alone, father and son. 

You see Nancy watching, and just to spite her you kiss Jonathan’s cheek, relishing in the fact that she looks away, and you wish him luck once again before following her to class. 

The test isn’t as bad as you’d feared, and the rest of the day goes by with relative ease. You don’t see much of Steve and his group and you’re thankful for that. Nancy also keeps her distance, no longer attempting to be all buddy buddy with you. A part of you feels bad about that, because honestly the thought of someone thinking you hate them makes you feel physically ill, but as long as Nancy is with someone like Steve, there’s not much you can do about that. 

After school you stop by all of Jonathan’s classes and collect the work he’s missed over the last few days; he has enough to worry about, so you figured you could help do some assignments for him. It’s nothing unusual, truth to be told. There was a time you were out for two weeks straight due to the flu one year and Jonathan did every one of your assignments, so it’s about time you returned the favor. 

Once you have what you need, you hang up the remaining flyers in your bag and begin your journey to work. You’ve used up all of your sick days helping the Byers, and while Mrs. Waters has insisted on letting you have more time off, you figured the distraction would be good for you. Jonathan will want some space after confronting his dad, and as much as you hated Lonnie, something told you he had nothing to do with Will. 

Just when your shift is almost done, your coworker, this young kid named Alex who you’re honestly surprised can legally work, informs you that your mom is on the phone and wants to speak with you. You stack the remaining books in your hands and thank him, walking over to pick up the call.

“Hey, mom. Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine, sweetie! I was just calling to tell ya that Dusty is at the Wheeler’s tonight for dinner, so my plan for ribs won’t work without him. I was wondering if darling Johnny could feed you tonight? I know the two of you have that little sneaky food game.” 

Your posture, once slumped over and uninterested, now straightens out. Why the hell is Dustin having dinner at the Wheeler’s? They never do that. “Uh, sure mom that won’t be an issue.”

Your mom lets out a sigh of relief. “Bless that Jonathan! I’ve always liked him…”

Your mom may be the biggest Jonathan supporter you’ve ever met. “Yeah, he’s your favorite. I know,” you shift a bit to catch Alex’s attention, mouthing to him that you need to leave work early. “Hey, did Dustin by chance say how long he’ll be at the Wheeler’s? I can swing by and pick him up after my shift.” 

“Oh, I think he’s staying the night there. He mentioned something about Mike not finishing his part of their little science project?”

They’re calling the little girl a science project now? Boys are so typical. “Oh, I see. Well, I gotta get back to work, mom. I’ll be home late tonight.”

Your mom wishes you goodbye and warns you not to be out too late. You hum, already trying to figure out the quickest route to the Wheeler’s house. You can’t say you’re surprised that Mike didn’t follow the plan, but you also can’t say you were prepared for this either. 

Alex comes back with your boss and you quickly make up a lie about not feeling well. Mrs. Waters gives you a pitying look and tells you to go. You’re incredibly grateful for her, she’s like a grandmother to you and has always been so kind. 

You quickly bike to Mike’s house, going over a grand speech in your head for the boys. Logistically speaking, you’re not sure if they can even harbor the little girl in his basement. Would it be kidnapping? Could kids even kidnap other kids? You aren’t sure and you definitely aren’t willing to find out. 

You arrive at the house just as Nancy and Barb are pulling out of the driveway, presumably to Steve’s grand house party. They wave at you awkwardly and you don’t have it in you to wave back. You park your bike next to their doorstep and knock on the door. 

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Mrs. Wheeler asks after opening the door. 

“Oh, I was just wondering if I could hang out with the boys tonight? Jonathan’s busy and I promised Dustin I’d help with their campaign.”

Mrs. Wheeler cocks her head at you. “But I thought there was a special assembly at the school for Will? Nancy and Barb just left for it.” 

You feel your blood boil a bit. There was no assembly for Will at your school, and it was really damn low of Nancy to use his disappearance as a cover story for her stupid party. She’s known Will since he was practically a baby. You have no idea how someone could be so unaffected by a missing child, let alone one who has been at your house every damn weekend for years now. 

“Oh, that!” You force yourself to remain calm; there isn’t time to snitch on Nancy, Mrs. Wheeler would only have more questions for you. “Yeah, I’m, uh, skipping it. Jonathan doesn’t want to go, so after he’s back from his errands I’m heading over to his place to, you know, comfort him?” 

The woman stares at you for a second, trying to determine if there are any lies to your words. You’ve never been the best liar, but being the oldest Henderson child has unfortunately prepared you for being quick on your feet when needed. 

“Well, come on then. They boys just went downstairs, and if you can please remind them to bring the plate of food back up here I’d really appreciate it.”

You thank Mrs. Wheeler and let yourself in. Her words have all but solidified your suspicions: Mike kept the girl. 

When you descend the basement steps, it’s almost comical how the kids scramble to hide the girl like little cockroaches. They run around and Dustin screams something about covering her before the poor girl is being manhandled into a sheet as Mike screams at Lucas and Dustin to calm down. 

“Guys! It’s just me! Jesus!” You shout, shoving past Mike to rush over to the girl and free her from the sheets. She looks more frightened than usual, but at least she’s alive. 

“God, why am I always the one you push?”

You shush Mike, smoothing back the girl’s hair and offering her a reassuring smile. “Remember me, sweetheart?”

The girl nods and softly says, “Y/N.”

“Very good. I’m going to scream at my brother real quick, so why don’t you cover your ears for me so you don’t get too frightened?” 

“Wait, what-”

The minute her ears are covered, you turn to Dustin and begin screaming. “Are you brain dead and not understand the words ‘tell me if anything weird happens’ or do you simply lack the appropriate empathy needed for a concerned sister?”

Dustin ducks his head in shame. “Y/N, look-”

“No! I’m all for helping you guys with your adventures and whatever, but Will went missing and then she appears and Mike,” you turn to him and he hides behind a frightened Lucas. “You said you’d stick to your plan. Now tell me, did you?”

Mike shakes his head, his eyes wide. Dustin looks no better as he cowers behind the others. Lucas simply shrugs, knowing that this would happen. You never, ever, yell at the boys; the few times you have in the past, all hell had broken loose. 

“Y/N-”

“Zip it, Henderson. I’m so pissed off at you right now and if you want to make it to thirteen I suggest you keep quiet.” 

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. Now, why don’t you guys catch me up on what you’ve so sweetly kept hidden from me.” It’s worded as a question, but the boys know better than to deny you. 

You sit on the ground so that you’re next to the girl and then motion for the three boys in front of you to start speaking. They look at Mike, giving him a nudge, and he hesitantly steps forward to begin speaking. “Her name is El.”

The girl, El, looks up at you and smiles. You return the smile and knock your shoulder against hers in a playful manner. “Nice to meet you, can I ask what El is short for?”

“Eleven,” she says, and you want to question the name further but the look on Mike’s face stops you. Now is not the time, you guess. 

“El, she’s… different.” Mike continues, looking around nervously. He’s acting as if someone could break in any second and snipe you guys, and a part of you doesn’t doubt it can happen. “She has these powers, like, mind control powers.”

You snort, unable to stop yourself. El looks at you, looking unoffended, seemingly expecting this reaction. However, Mike groans at you. “Y/N, this is serious. She-she knows about Will.”

At this, your smile fades and you feel an overwhelming sense of hope take over you. You find your arms wrapping around El before you can control yourself and you give her a tight hug. She stiffens in your arms and you immediately pull away. “I’m sorry, I just… sorry.”

She laughs a bit, softly saying that it’s okay. 

“Do you really know Will? Where he is?” You ask, almost too scared to say the words out loud. If she’s telling the truth… you shake your head in an attempt to dispel any false hope. You don’t know this girl, she could be lying. 

Before El can say anything else, Mike speaks for her. “She does, but there’s bad men out there who want to hurt her. I think they’re after Will, too.” 

You freeze. “Bad men?”

“Yes, this is why we didn’t want to tell you!”

“I wanted to tell her,” Lucas says, which causes Mike to glare at him.

You wave your arms at the two boys, breaking up their fight. “Mike, what do you mean by bad men? Honey,” you look at El, “did someone hurt you? Are you in danger? Should I call the police?”

“No!” All three boys shout at once. 

You look at them, at the genuine fear in their eyes, and sigh, “Okay, if you can give me a good reason not to call the cops, I won’t.”

“Did you not hear the part about El having powers?” Dustin asks. 

“Gee, Dustin. You’re right! It’s like her having powers is totally believable and reassuring to the situation at hand!”

“I can show you,” El speaks up. 

You all face her now. “You can?” 

She nods at you, getting up and grabbing your backpack that you threw on the ground when you walked in. She rustles through it while you and the boys look at one another. After a few seconds, El grabs one of your comic books and places it on the table. She looks at you and tilts her head, indicating for you to sit down next to her; you do as you’re told.

El straightens out your comic and then closes her eyes, going completely still. The air around you shifts and you can practically feel the static electricity encasing you; the hair on your arms stand up. The pages of the comic begin to flick up, fluttering as if someone is thumbing through them in rapid succession. You watch as the Spidey panels flash before your eyes, the pages flying faster and faster until it becomes almost frightening to be near. Then, once it gets to its last page, the comic flies up into the air and hovers for a few seconds, right in front of your face. 

“Holy shit,” you breathe out, your eyes wide. 

Just as quickly as it began, the comic drops back onto the table. You look up at El and see that her nose is now bleeding, which rips you back to reality. The chair scrapes against the ground as you get up to help her, dabbing at the blood with a tissue that had been laying on the table. 

“Do you believe us now?” Mike asks, a smug look on his face. 

You gently wipe away the remaining blood from El’s face, looking her in the eye and directing your words to her. “I’m listening, sweetheart. What can you do to help us find Will?” 

El smiles, pleased to have earned your trust, and you get the feeling that this little girl is the most powerful thing in all of Hawkins, maybe even the world. At her request, Mike places his DnD board on the table and arranges the pieces for El to use. She sits down and closes her eyes once more.

Lucas gives you a doubtful look. “What’s the weirdo doing?”

You flick his head, not enjoying the name calling. Honestly, you thought you raised these boys better than that. 

El seems to accomplish whatever she was doing and picks up the wizard piece, murmuring, “Will.” 

You feel your heart stop. Will always insisted on being the wizard whenever they played the game. He was Will the Wise, forever and always. El couldn’t have simply guessed that, and you know it’s her-

“Superpowers,” Dustin finishes your thought for you. The two of you exchange a glance and you notice the slight glee in his eyes. Under different circumstances, you’d also find this all pretty cool. 

Mike sits next to El and begins to ask some questions about where she last saw Will. She gives him a look that you can’t quite decipher before swiping her arm across the table and spilling the pieces onto the floor. She then flips the board over, having it now face upside down, and places Will’s piece back down. 

You knit your brows together, trying to follow along. El’s movements are methodical and carefully planned, being unable to find the right words due to her poor speech, and you try to piece together the information you’ve been given. 

“I don’t understand,” Mike says, being extra gentle with El. You’ve never seen him so soft spoken before and you’re grateful at least one of the boys doesn’t view her as some monster. Which reminds you that you need to have a conversation with Dustin about respecting women, but for now you’ll hold off.

“Hiding.” says El. 

He’s good at hiding, Jonathan’s words echo in your head. 

“Will is hiding?” 

El nods, now looking more nervous. You can tell that Mike is getting closer to information that she doesn’t want him near, which finally causes you to ask the question that’s been heavily on your mind. “From the bad men?”

Now El gives a slight shake of the head, and Mike presses on. “Then from who?”

Without saying anything, El places a second piece onto the board right in front of Will’s. It’s a piece you’re unfamiliar with, with two snake-like heads that loom over the small wizard piece. Whatever it is, you know it isn’t good judging the way Mike, Dustin, and Lucas look at each other in fear.

You turn to Dustin and whisper, “What’s that piece?”

Your brother puts his hands behind his head and sighs deeply, a new resigned look on his face. He looks as if he’s just aged thirty years, which you find a bit dramatic. “It’s the Demogorgon.”

“The Demo-what?” The name sounds familiar, but you can’t remember anything about it.

Mike looks at you and for once his voice holds no annoyance when he says, “There’s a lot we still have to catch you up on.”

– 

Your head is spinning as you bike to Jonathan’s with all the new information you’ve just received. Demogorgons, magical vortexes, kids with damn superpowers. It’s all a lot for you to take in, and while you fully believe that El is something entirely different from a normal little girl, how can you be sure that it’s connected to Will? While his disappearance still confuses you, it’s illogical to jump to supernatural conclusions. 

Dustin had begged you to let him spend the night at Mikes in order to keep talking to El, and you only agreed because you figured you’d be at Jonathan’s again tonight anyways. He’s been MIA all day and you’re worried as usual, but you made him and Mike swear to you that they’d stay put in the house. At least this way they’re in one place, so if they screw around they’ll be easier to find. 

When you arrive at the Byers home you notice that Jonathan’s car isn’t in the driveway, which only confuses you further. Where the hell is he? You gave him all day to deal with Lonnie and cool off, trusting that he wouldn’t do anything stupid for twelve hours, and yet… 

You fear he’s done something stupid. 

You don’t have time to think too much about Jonathan’s absence because a frantic Joyce runs out the door screaming. She runs straight past you and into her car, and the house begins to light up like a christmas tree. You can hear The Clash’s Should I Stay or Should I Go, a song that Will once had on repeat for three weeks straight, and you can feel the same static electricity in the air that you felt when El used her powers in front of you. 

Joyce suddenly gets out of the car and spots you, pointing towards her house. “You see that too?”

You swallow. “Yeah,”

She nods, as if your confirmation is all she needs to determine her sanity, and then marches inside. You stand in the yard, motionless. You’re terrified, and after learning about El tonight, you don’t have it in you to discover any other supernatural beings in Hawkins at the moment. Sighing, you follow after the woman because Jonathan isn’t home and someone needs to talk her down from whatever panic attack the flashing lights have inevitably caused. 

“Mrs. Byers-” 

“Y/N, you can’t tell me there isn’t something,” Joyce waves her hands in front of her face, almost grasping at the air, “weird about all of this. That was Will’s song, the lights were flashing in Will’s room, something came out of Will’s wall-”

“Something came out of his wall?”

“Yes! I’m not… I promise I’m not crazy, okay? You saw it, please tell me you saw it.”

You bite your lip, now thinking about El. You swore to Mike you wouldn’t tell anyone about her, and honestly you’re not sure that you should tell Joyce about her right now. You’re still unsure if El is being honest with you, and you can’t just give the woman false hope for her son. It’d kill you if you were wrong about El. But seeing the lights, hearing the music, the thing in the wall… There’s something that she’s not telling you. 

“Mrs. Byers… I’m not quite sure what I saw, but we just had a bad storm and it could be faulty wiring.” 

Joyce slumps her shoulders, frustrated that you aren’t conspiring with her. You just… you can’t. Not yet. Not before you figure out what the hell El is doing in Hawkins. You refuse to worsen Joyce’s already chronic anxiety and paranoia; Jonathan would never forgive you if you fed into her delusions, but it kills you to lie to her. 

“Look, I do think that something is weird about this entire situation, “ Joyce’s face lights up, but you’re quick to add, “however, there’s no proof. You, I mean-Mrs. Byers, you’ve seen things in the past. You’re stressed, and anxious, and all the other synonyms.” 

The woman lets a few tears drop from her eyes, now embarrassed. “Maybe you’re right. I-I’m sorry, honey. I just-”

You grab her hand. “I know,”

Her smile is brittle, a ghost of the once beautiful smile she’d give you, and your heart breaks for her. 

After your conversation, Joyce excuses herself to her room. She looks even more exhausted than before, so you leave her alone and hole yourself up in Jonthan’s room. 

You glance at your watch and note the late hour; you’re starting to worry now. Jonathan didn’t mention anything besides Lonnie and the posters, so you don’t know what else he could be doing so late. He wouldn’t go searching for Will without you. 

You wake up to Jonathan returning an hour or so later, apparently having fallen asleep while waiting for him. 

“Y/N?” His voice is gruff and surprised. 

You groan and rub your eyes. “Turn the light off, bee.”

He doesn’t. “What are you doing here?”

The tone of his voice wakes you up a bit, making you sit up and look at him more clearly. His shoulders are tense, his eyes are hiding something, and his overall demeanor is hard to read. “I had something to tell you, but is everything okay?”

“You couldn't have waited until tomorrow? Y/N, this is my house, just… just get out.”

“I’m sorry?” You’re confused by his behavior, now starting to become a bit defensive and hurt by his dismissal. 

“You can’t just let yourself in whenever you please.” Jonathan puts his camera on his desk, still refusing to meet your eyes.

“Jonathan, we literally have always let ourselves into each other’s houses whenever we please.” 

He rolls his eyes at you and rips off his jacket, throwing it at you. “Get out!”

You catch the jacket before it hits you in the face. “What the hell, Jonathan!” 

“Listen, I get that you think you’re a part of the family, but you’re not. You’ve been here for days now, it’s getting old.” 

His words cut through you and leave vicious wounds against your skin. He doesn’t mean that, he can’t mean that. You and him were family. He’s never, ever insinuated anything less. He wouldn’t dare. Your Jonathan would never act like this to you, and the only time he’s ever been this cruel to you was when he accidentally dropped Lonnie’s last beer in the fridge and was too embarrassed and ashamed to ask for help; he’d shown up with bruises later that night.

Then it hits you. He did something, something that makes him feel guilty; he keeps glancing at his camera. You soften your voice, “Bee, what did you do?”

He whips around, now yelling. “Nothing! Just get the hell out of my house! It’s getting pathetic!” 

You swallow back the angry tears that build in your throat. Fine. Whatever. Let him be a raging bitch after everything you’ve done for him these last few days. 

“Fine, I will.” Grabbing your backpack you snatch the assignments you were supposed to give Jonathan and slam them against his chest. “Here’s all your fucking assignments, by the way.” 

He seems to come back to himself, blinking away the anger and shame. “Bug…”

“You don’t get to call me that.” And with that, you don’t spare Jonathan another glance. 

– 

When you get home, the house is eerily quiet. Dustin is at Mike’s and your mom leaves you a note saying that she’s spending the night at your aunt’s. Great. Looks like it’s just you and Mews tonight then. 

After everything that’s happened tonight, you never found time to eat dinner, and your stomach is loudly growling. You drop your stuff in your room and then reheat some leftovers, feeling like a pathetic child. You know that Jonathan didn’t mean what he said, but the words had come too easily to him to have just been a way to dodge his guilt. There had been some truth to them. Maybe you were pathetic for always fretting over him.

Dinner is quiet tonight. 

You wait for the phone to ring, for Jonathan to call you and apologize, but the call never comes. 

You’ve never felt so alone before.

-

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[devilfic]

Reading right place, right time and found myself kicking my feet and twirling my hair at the thought of Bruce writing about the surgeon in his diary after their first encounter . 🥺😂 (Sorry, I’m being silly) 😭 but I really do wonder what he wrote. Would he have added any personal thoughts of his own or keep it about his routine? 🤔 sorry for this weird message. I love your writing 💕

this is not weird at ALL. I've been itching to talk about this! unlike in where two are joined, I'm trying not to tell any of it from bruce's perspective so that the reader can be immersed in their own pov. therefore,,, this gives me an excuse :)

when bruce gets home, he is not thinking about his diary.

in an uncharacteristic turn of events, he puts his body first and passes out on the couch in the terminus. he gets about an hour or two of sleep, something he deprived himself of in your apartment out of fear of letting down his guard.

he sort of jolts awake after that second hour, thinking that he had fallen asleep in your home. his chest heaves as he gathers his surroundings, registers the pain in his side, unaware of the hour. it takes him a few minutes to collect himself and then he's pulling off his suit piece by piece, assessing the damage at his desk. to his surprise, your stitches have held together pretty well. he pops a few main meds and pulls out his journal.

Wednesday, November 16th.

I made a miscalculation with the smugglers. The weapons they're moving are military grade, and from the communications I was able to intercept, they've got several buyers I can't afford to let get their hands on these guns.

I managed to put a dent in their inventory tonight, but for every shipment I hit, there are two more I miss. I can't be everywhere at once, which means I can't afford to lose momentum. I can't let up.

I sustained injuries from tonight including one gunshot wound. I was able to remove the bullet once I found somewhere safe to retreat, but the wound was worse than I anticipated and I struggled to keep the bleeding at bay. I made another mistake and intended on finding a place to rest—a nearby apartment I assumed to be empty—where I could at least stop the bleeding and send Alfred my location. But someone was there. Before I could escape, I passed out from the blood loss.

I must've been out for a few minutes. This stranger could have unmasked me, and I'm still not entirely sure they hadn't. Regardless, they were a doctor. They managed to stitch me up, and after some convincing, I rested in their apartment for the next three hours. I had no intention to, but I'm certain I wouldn't be writing this now if I hadn't done so. If it wasn't for them, I would be

I was desperate. I realize that now. I put myself and potentially someone else in danger. Someone who chose to help me. Their intentions seemed innocent, but I need to know for sure. I can't make any more mistakes. I won't.

after that, I think bruce just throws himself into researching you. he starts with gotham general, looks for all the surgeons, eventually finds your name, and he falls down this hole of finding out whatever he can about you: your age, where you went to school, your relatives and past jobs. he wants to know that this freak twist of fate was just that: a twist, an abnormality.

alfred finds him like that, ready to retrieve him for the tour (which bruce definitely forgot about). he's about to make a comment like "you're up early" and then he sees gauze taped to bruce's side and god, if alfred doesn't have steam blowing out of his ears by the time he's done yelling at him.

and later, when he's standing in front of you as bruce wayne, he's caught off guard again because what are the odds that you could save his life as some freak twist of fate once, only to have him run into you again not hours later?

and you're... whip-smart. kind. he hears you talk about the work you do and he can see how much you care about the people of this city. it's not in his nature to trust easily but when he gets home later that day he is poring into everything he can about you, searching for the chink in your armor. there must be something. maybe he's missed it or you're good at hiding but all of this feels too good to be true.

it takes him a few days after he finds your file for him to think it over. the stitches have held up. he's replacing his gauze in the bathroom and asks alfred if he thinks it's the right call.

"are you certain there's no one else?"

"a vigilante doctor?" bruce laughs, stretching his spine. "how would I take applications for that, exactly?"

"they're a civilian."

"they saved my life."

alfred holds his tongue, nearly chokes on it, "you must be prepared for this not to work out. or worse. you may never pick up that cowl again."

bruce stares at his hands, scarred from his long nights. he doesn't remember much after passing out, only the split second of finality and the regret that followed... until you brought him back, "I've already made peace with that."

[sourbinnie]

Hi omg I just came across ur page, I loved your recent it was so cute & now I’m dying for more comfort Hyunjin.

Can I request reader being on her period so she’s rlly irritable and then Hyunjin comes home saying he has a stomach ache and she thinks he’s just joking around so she just ignores him but then later realizes he’s being serious when he doesn’t eat dinner n feels sick so she feels bad and takes care of him.

title -> misinterpreted pair -> hyunjin x fem!reader genre -> hurt/comfort + fluff warnings -> mentions of periods + mentions of food + cursing a/n: yall i think im a sucker for hurt/comfort jinnie, thank you for you request! <3 it came out shorter than i expected but i still hope you like it ¡! :(

as if the day couldn't get more annoying, periods happen. ok, it's not like i had a lot on my plate but there's no worse sensation than your uterus kicking you like you deserve it. it was painful, annoying and overall made me feel like complete garbage. i carried through work like i could, continuing with my day like i wasn't suffering every step of the way. getting home was a task too but i managed through it and decided to throw myself on the bed, trying every single position to see if it would make the pain go away. 

i know i wasn't the easiest to deal with when i was like this but i was hoping hyunjin would understand. 

speaking of him, he was just about to come in through the door every minute now and the things that i usually get ready for him, are not there. like i said, i hope he understands that it's not my best day and he can get them on his own. i know practice must've been a lot and i truly wish he would take care of himself better.

"(y/n)?" i hear my name being called out and i don't even have the strength to get up. feels like the weight is pulling me down again. i manage to do so in a few tries but everything still spins and hurts around me. "missed you baby." he says when he sees me and gives me a hug which i have to retract because of the tightness of it all. he looks at me confused which i have to explain.

"i'm on my period and everything sucks right now." i say calmly but dying on the inside. "i'm sorry if i'm gonna be a bitch to you at any moment but right now i just need to rest."

"oh, that's okay i actually had like a stomach ache through the whole day so i get it." and i just sigh 'cause i knew he was messing with me. he always likes to do that and even with the confused look on his face, i wouldn't fall for it at all. i decided to not linger on it and go to our room to get my sweet sleep as much as i wanted to stay and cuddle with my boyfriend, i knew it would only bring pain and uncomfortability.

✉ ✉ ✉ 

getting up and being met by the moon in the night sky was not my plan all along. hyunjin was by my side, he didn't even try to cuddle with me which i thanked for but he looked a little odd. i couldn't place my finger on what it was but i had to get up and make dinner before it was too late. as i tried to concentrate in the cooking and not the pain (again), i tried to place my finger around what was going on with my boyfriend. 

could it be that things didn't go well today? but he didn't look mad or sad. he also didn't say anything about the boys (usually there's one or two comments about felix). maybe he was just tired and didn't need me on top of his business and i was just panicking over nothing.

"babe?" he asked, snapping me out of my thoughts and there was definitely something going on. he looked pale but at the same time it looked like he had a run a marathon with all the sweat and i was starting to see things better. "oh no, jagi i love your cooking but i think i'll pass today."

i placed the dinner on the table and i looked at him. he never passed on my cooking so something 100% was off today and what did i miss? as i got close to him i tried to repeat our conversation today. my hand went directly to his forehead and as everything started to make sense with him burning up, i said.

"fuck you weren't lying, you truly had a stomach ache." i felt like crying right then and there. even if i felt terrible, i still would do anything to take care of hyunjin. it hurt that i put myself first when he was hurting just as much as me. i didn't want to cry though, this was my chance to make it better unless he hated me at this very moment and didn't want me to do anything and-

"you're thinking too much and yes i did or i still do. i don't know, everything's kinda of spinning and i think i might have a fever." he said and i immediately sat him down as i looked for the termometer. thinking of every remedy and healing technique i went through my entire life as i came back and made him open his mouth. 

"i'm sorry jinnie. i should've been more careful and paid more attention to your words." i said and he wanted to say something but i stopped him. "nuh uh no moving! also i'm gonna tell the boys you're not going tomorrow." that's when he also wanted to protest but i took the termometer out and checked. 

"so? do i have a fever?" he said and i nodded as he responded with a sigh. "i can't miss practice when we're learning a new choreo though, babe you know how it is".

"but you also can't practice if you're basically running a fever and feeling dizzy, what if you pass out?" i said and i could see that he was seeing my point. "just let me text chan and then i'll have all the time in the world for you."

"but what if you get sick too?" he pouted and i just smiled because even in the sickness of it all, he still cared about me. he really was the sweetest guy i've ever met.

"if i get sick, i get sick baby, there's nothing bad about it plus i get to spend time with my favorite person." i said laying him on my lap as i messed with his hair and caressed his cheek.

he eventually fell asleep and i just couldn't stop looking at him. i decided to slowly get up without disturbing him, then i would call work and tell them that i would be taking the day off to spend it with my loved one 'cause it's what he deserved.

[yagamisdiary]

you don’t gotta answer if you don’t want to but is it hard to be in no contact with a parent ?

i’ve had a rough on and off relationship with my father since i was about 7 years old he’s messed up in many ways but that’s besides the point.

im finally at a point where im independent enough to move out etc and i want to plan it and go no contact with him because i’ve lowkey had enough lol but i feel like i will regret it later on.

so me and my mom have never gotten along like ever, we just never clicked. she couldn’t stand me because i “ruined her life” even tho it was her who got pregnant LOL and im an empath and could always sense she hated me even as a kid so i ended up building resentment toward her as well

it got worse as i became a teenager because i began acting out and standing up for myself and we would get into very physical fights and it just became very toxic to the point where she kicked me out sooooo many times

eventually i was always the one who begged to come back home even though i knew she didn’t want me back but i was so attached to my siblings that i wanted to be around them even if it meant she was going to continue to abuse me in every way possible

so it definitely wasn’t easy at first, i spent my whole 13-19 getting kicked out and coming back over and over again and just endlessly fighting with her until one day i just snapped

at 19, she did something unforgivable (she had done tons of cruel things to be before but this was my breaking point) and i finally realized i couldn’t do it anymore and i had to be selfish and leave my siblings behind because if i didnt, i was going to end up either killing myself or getting killed by her

i ended up leaving at 19 and i warned her she was never going to see or hear from me again and she didn’t give a fuck at all, in fact she straight up told me she was relieved and 6 years later, we have not seen eachother or spoken a single word to eachother

i have never been more at peace since leaving that house. even though i miss my siblings, that was the only part that was hard to do, leaving HER however wasn’t hard at all. she obviously has no problem with it either considering she hasn’t spoken a single word to be since i was 19 and now im currently 25.

i don’t know ur situation with ur dad but if it’s anything as bad as mine, i say do it. i hate when ppl have this stigma of “that’s ur parent you have to forgive them” “you can’t desert family” that’s just bullshit

you can cut off ANYONE. friends, partners, EVEN FAMILY. anyone who has treated you terribly, shouldn’t be in your life regardless if they’re related to you and i’m SOOOOOO stern on that like absolutely no one can change my mind on that whatsoever

i’m so so so sorry that you’re going through that with your dad and having that kind of relationship with a parent who is supposed to be one of the few ppl ur supposed to be able to trust is such a heartbreaking realization. if u need more advice or just someone to talk to, MESSAGE ME! i am more than happy to help ❤️‍🩹

[gabriel-xander]

I Wish You Died Instead Ch. 3

[Scaramouce x Fem!Reader]

A/N: I started writing this before all of his lore came out/Before the last Sumeru Archon quest, so there will be a handful of inconsistency later on. My advice to you? Just go with it!

{Also on Quotev, Ao3, and Wattpad under Gabriel Xander}

Chapter 3: Farewell From Snezhnaya

“Don’t forget to change your clothes to something lighter as you get close to Liyue.”

“[L/n]-”

“Try not to move around the ship too much, you don’t want to get seasick so quickly and so often.”

“[L/n].”

“Stay hydrated, too! You’ll get thirsty faster since it’s pretty warm in Liyue.”

“[L/-”

“A-And don’t get in unnecessary trouble! I don’t want you to-”

“-[Y/n]!”

Kazuki grabs your hands from where they were nervously tugging at the collar of your uniform. He was one of the few who have yet to board the ship since Childe has yet to actually arrive.

You’re nervous about letting Kazuki go. He’s been your best friend since you two were kids, joined at the hip since the age of 7. It’s not so much the fact that you’re scared to let him go, or scared that he might get hurt or-Archons forbid-die in Liyue. Kazuki is a strong fighter blessed with a Pyro Vision and is a skilled fighter with a claymore. He's more than capable of taking care of himself.

It’s just…

Kazuki is your person.

You two didn’t have your masks on at the moment, but not having it made you feel exposed and it caused you to look away from him.

“‘M gonna miss you, Nao.” You admit quietly.

The brunette smiles and pulls you close for a hug, “I’m going to miss you too, [Y/n]. I’ll try to send letters as often as I can, I promise.”

“You better,” You reply, clutching the fabric of his coat, “Or else I’ll go to Liyue myself to kick your ass.”

“Aw, just for me? Am I just that special to you, [Y/n]?”

“Shut up, Nao. I’d trade you for a sip of water.”

You two pull away from each other with a laugh, beginning to feel a little better about the departure.

You shiver when a particularly strong breeze rises up, but that shiver was from a sudden tension rather than the cold as your stomach drops to your feet. You immediately summon your claymore (You don’t remember what it was called, Nao had gifted it to you. Prototype… Archi? Archaic? Something like that) and hold it above your head just in time to clash against-

“CHILDE?!”

Childe used his Hydro to create dual blades that clashed against yours. He uses the leverage to push himself back, dissolving the weapons and creating a polearm instead. You send your claymore back into the aether and jump to the right when Childe throws the spear at you.

The spear dissolves and some of it gets on you, making you colder than you would’ve liked. Childe stands away, summoning his bow oh so casually.

“Lord Childe!”

“Yes, [Y/n]?”

“Permission to speak freely, sir?”

“Permission granted!”

“What the fuck, dude?!!”

Childe laughs at you, doubling over while you just look at him confused. You’re literally just trying to exist but this ginger man really said fuck that noise.

“With all due respect, I don’t stand a chance against you,” You grin to mask your anxiety, “You’d kill me in a second.”

“Don’t talk like that! Not all battles’ purposes are who wins and who loses. In this case, the experience is most definitely the most important part.”

“?? Yeah, that’s cool and all but I still ain’t tryna fight you, Childe,” You wave your hands frantically as you start sputtering, “Pff-Uh-And anyway! Don’t you have a boat to board in like, right now??”

Childe laughs again and walks towards you, letting his bow disappear back into the aether. You sense the tension has left his body, so he’s probably not planning to attack but you stay on guard anyway.

The ginger stops right in front of you and pats your shoulder, “You have such a bright personality, [Y/n]! I definitely like this easy going side of you more than the facade you have for your boss. It’s refreshing to see someone as honest as you in a place like this.”

You clench your fists by your side and look away. You don’t want to be chummy or friends with anyone from the Fatui. Kazuki is the only exception for obvious reasons… You can’t allow Childe to be another exception as well.

“You’re also strong, [Y/n]. I can already see so much potential in you, and that’s not a bad thing. You can’t let someone like Scaramouche scare you into hiding that potential away. Only you can decide if you’ll use it for good or evil,” Childe smiles softly, “You’re a soft soul, don’t let the world or anyone else turn you into something you’re not.”

Your heart races from his words, praying to the Archons that he won’t be the cause of your sudden change of heart. It’s not as if you convinced yourself that you needed to be a cold bitch to survive…. but you convinced yourself that you needed to be a cold bitch to survive.

“Why are you telling me this?” You finally get the courage to look the Harbinger in the eyes, “You don’t even know me.”

But as kind as Childe is being to you (right now), his words alone can’t suddenly make all your problems go away.

“You’re right, I don’t. But I’d like to!” Childe laughs and pats your back, “You’re the only interesting person here! Honestly, it’s a shame I didn’t get a second meeting with you sooner.”

You sigh with exasperation. Childe is a type of person who goes after what interests him and stops at nothing until he’s satisfied. You suppose your potential friendship falls under that category.

“This is damaging to my reputation,” You say without any real bite to it.

“Reputation?”

“Yeah, of being a loner.”

Childe cocks his head to the side, humming quietly in thought as he crosses his arms.

“My Lord,” Kazuki (poor boy was third wheeling the whole time) steps up from behind you, “I got word that we have maybe a few minutes to board the ship before it leaves. It won’t wait for us any longer.”

Childe pouts ever so slightly, "Didn't I tell you to call me 'Liege' instead?"

You turn around and throw your arms around Kazuki’s neck, not caring for professionalism at the exact moment. You feel his arms go around your waist, squeezing you lightly for one last hug.

“You behave,” You mutter, “Don’t go picking fights. and don’t do drugs.”

“Yes, mom.” He groans.

“Ugh, don’t call me mom. You’ve seen me naked too many times to call me that,” You joked, but did you really?

“Mommy?”

“No.”

You went to pull away, but Kazuki squeezes you again. Your face morphs into embarrassment, not used to Kazuki showing you more affection than you show him. You pat his back and chuckle.

"Hey, come on. Don't get soft on me," You grin, "This is uh… ah-hahaha, 'is kind of embarrassing."

"Sh. Let me have this. Haa man… I wish I didn't have to go."

"Why do you have to go? You're not even his direct subordinate."

"Oh, that's because Kuzuzushi is my hype-man!" Childe says with a smile.

Kazuki pulls away with a heavy sigh, "It's Kazuki, My Liege."

"Wait-what do you mean he's your hype-man?" You ask quickly.

The brunette deadpans, "Are you only bringing me along to… hype you up??"

"Yeah! Isn't that great?"

HOOOOOONNKKK!!!

The boat's horn sounds loudly as the walkway is dropped, separating the ship from the docks.

Childe takes your hand and puts something on your palm. You don't get to see it since he moves your fingers to close it to a fist. He keeps that hand into his, smiling warmly while leaning his face close to yours.

It would've given you butterflies if you weren't consciously aware that this man was dangerous and has killed people before. Of course as always, the light never reaches his eyes no matter how sincere his smile was.

"Remember, [Y/n]. It's your life, and you get to decide how you use your own strength and power," Childe says with conviction, "Don't let people like Scaramouche scare you from being who you are. I look forward to seeing the type of person you decide to become when we meet again."

"I… Childe-"

"-My Liege, they're leaving without us! We have to go now!"

"Right! Let's go Kazuki!"

"It's Ka-actually, you got it right."

Letting go of your hand, the Harbinger and the agent run to the docks. Kazuki and Childe use their Visions to propel themselves into the air. Childe's Hydro almost immediately freezes due to the Snezhnayan weather. You see the ginger subtly lean towards Kazuki when they grab onto the side of the boat. Most likely because of Kazuki's Pyro Vision.

"Hype me up, Kazuki!" You hear the ginger say as he climbs up the side.

"Uhhh-FUCK IT UP, MY LIEGE!!"

"WOOHOOOO!!"

…

Boys will be boys, you suppose.

You look down at your hand to see what Childe had put there. You widen your eyes when you see it's one of his red earrings. You snap your head up to find Childe. He was already on the boat, safe and sound. You jog to the docks to get a closer look at the ginger who was watching you.

Sure enough, Childe was missing his right earring, the left one dangling from his ear almost mockingly.

You can't see the expression he's making, but from his energetic waving, you (correctly) assume he's grinning like an idiot. Kazuki was next to him, giving you the forbidden finger.

Fucker.

You're the only loser left on the dock, but you don't care. You watch them leave until you can't see people on the ship anymore, feeling a little warm from standing in the cold for so long.

That's probably a bad sign.

----

"Why the hell are you late?"

"I almost died of hypothermia."

"Well, cut it out. We have things to do," Scaramouche frowns as he walks past you, "I gave you the favor of seeing off your comrades before they left. But now break time's over, you're back on the clock."

You hate this. You roll your eyes behind your mask and follow him out the office.

"Do you remember where that camp was located? The one the Treasure Hoarders are hiding at?"

"Yes, My Lord. Would you like me to prepare departure for today?"

"Yeah, but don't bring anyone else. It'll just be you and me. Everyone else is just incompete-... What the hell is that."

You frown while tilting your head to the side, "Sir?"

"That's Tartaglia's earring."

That's right, you had put on the earring on your right ear on your way to your boss' office. You had pierced ears, but upon joining the Fatui, you stopped wearing accessories in case it got in the way.

You don't know what came over you. Scaramouche's hand had suddenly come up to your vision, reaching towards the right of your head. You took a step back, your hand coming up to block him with your wrist.

"..."

"..."

Scaramouche was staring at you with surprised eyes, and you look back with the same expression.

"I… Please, don't touch that, My Lord." You take another step back and lower your head, your hand dropping to your side, "You don't know where it's been."

You're dead.

You're dead.

You're still alive.

But you're so dead.

The Balladeer rolls his eyes with a scoff, continuing his walk, "I liked you better before you met Tartaglia."

Alsnxnchakjslsm????

"We're leaving in an hour, [L/n]. If you're not ready, I might actually kill you this time."

"Yes, My Lord."

ARGH!

WHY IS HE THE WAY HE IS??

[bizlybebo]

hey so i am also batshit insane and not at all normal about Doug Bizlychannel Jerwee and his relationship with summer and i also have a non jrwi friend who is obsessed with Doug and deeply upset at the lack of doug content in the fandom so i am humbly requesting any and all doug ramblings u have in ur brain

HEEELLLLOOOOOOOO HIIHHIIHJ oh i hate that guy soooo muchh<33333

doug is absolutely bisexual and likely Some Form of non-cis but in s1 he had an evil villain job so he didn’t really care. he still doesn’t know .but like. summer is a pride flag sticker sapphic n she has the trans pin on her backpack n everything and so she kind of caught the Vibes on doug and Knows but hasn’t said anything.

hold on the rest of these got kinda Long let me make a cut

doug has a little brother right. he absolutelyyyy used to be one of those older brothers who was soo protective of his sibling and attached at the hip to him until a certain point where he started working for overlord n pushed his brother faaar away to keep his secret, being inferno, under wraps. so his little brother became kind of willing to let Anything slide as long as he could stick to his side like little brothers do,, and he probably Knew something was off and never mentioned it. it was definitely one of those situations hwere he probably thought doug was a hero/vigilante and not a villain.

ALSO i think this is actually said/kinda implied in canon but that summer probably kicked his ass to bring him down during the timeskip (or whenever they started working together). he was probably getting into shit he shouldn’t have and despite her not having powers at the time she still managed to absolutely cook him (cause like. there’s a different between who is technically physically stronger and who would Win A Fight. yknow). liiike i think it happened to be that kind of thing where they were in the middle of an absolute brawl n summer was just refusing to give up and they were exchanging banter/jabs due to already knowing each other somewhat from rockfall high. and right before they went back to exchanging deadly blows the prime rifters just fucking Showed Up. and summer was immediately curious and decided not to let doug get away on the grounds that “they’d finish the fight later” but then everything happened. yk.

ALSO i don’t think bizly actually said it but doug absolutely sacrificed himself for summer against that crazy scientist dude right. like we all saw it that way right. she was dying and he was in agony and likely thought he was dying to and so he decided that for once he was gonna be a good person even if it killed him and let summer take the fuckjn. synthetic skin and superpowers. but he survived anyways and it’s kind of like. that whole thing about “i expected to sacrifice myself for you, for it to all blow up in my face and for me to go with it, for me to be gone. but i survived and now you have to watch me pick up the shards of my life”. but summer “just because it’s rotten work doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it” dileo is like No Actually we are picking these fragments up Together but i am going to Kick Your Ass into being a good person All The Time. goddd does this make any sense i miss tjem so bad…..

also just how summer thinks she’s the only one who Knows about doug being Probably Bisexual But He Has A Job,, i think summer thinks she’s subtle abt her body dysmorphia from the whole superpowers thing. and i think doug realizes what’s going on so he makes fun of her for like. everything else But her appearance (other than joking about her always dying her hair). and he does the subtle things you always do when you’re trying to get it through somebody’s head that they’re beautiful and shouldnt be insecure (in a /p way).

also summer absolutely has dyed doug’s hair a couple times. he’s probably currently rocking w a few red streaks, but sometimes he’ll let summer do blue ones if he’s feeling quirky.

ALSO i’m on my suntrip bullshit i think summer was also trying to fucking track cantrip down during s2 and get her to Stop being a villain (enemies to lovers toxic yuri) but cantrip was wayyyyy more slippery than doug was. however after the incident w the scientist when doug was likely dying, summer had No fucking clue who to go to and. idk if i personally hc this but i think it would be Cool if she found cantrip and was like “hey. no fighting i promise. i seriously need your help can you do this for me. i’ll never bother you again if you can just help me with this”. and summer + prime rifters struck a tentative deal with cantrip + xavier and maybe alan to help doug Survive. does this make any sense sorru i love the pd npcs sooo much. i never stop thinking abt them

[dokidokitsuna]

I wanted to make a video about this, but seeing as my first Splatoon vid is already taking ages to make, and I don’t really have a whole lot to say, I’ll just write it out:

If you’re not playing X Battles, it may interest you to know that you’re really not missing much. ^^;

When I first tried grinding up to S+ rank to unlock them, I did it in the hopes of finally getting access to serious, exciting matches that always come down to the wire because all the players are super skilled and intent on winning. I mean, Turf War and Anarchy are fine, but sometimes you want a real challenge, y’know? I think every MMO game needs some form of “no noobs allowed” mode in order to provide a consistently engaging experience for mature players, and that’s what I expected X Battles to be.

Unfortunately, that’s not what I got…my first foray into X Battles was surprisingly average; and at the time it was kind of funny. ^^ I mean, every once in a while I did run into a few crazy people who definitely belonged there, but most of the players were virtually indistinguishable from everyone else in terms of observable skill. Like, the battles just felt…normal.

And now, a few seasons later, they feel a lot worse than normal. :[ If it came out that Nintendo was secretly allowing players to buy access to X Battles without having to earn it, I would 100% believe it at this point. Because I’ve seen some really stupid stuff going on in recent matches…and when I say stupid, I mean STUPID.

The vast majority of the time, the experience is something I call “steamroll or be steamrolled”: either you get a disappointingly easy match where the enemy team doesn’t stand a chance against you, or a useless-to-even-try match where your team doesn’t stand a chance against the enemy. Either way, the outcome is pretty much set in stone about 30 seconds in. :/

And then there’s the absolute worst kind of match, a new phenomenon I’m calling “babysitting”: basically, the enemy team isn’t even that good, to the point where I can hat-trick or wipe them all by myself multiple times…but it amounts to nothing, because my allies are even worse, and can’t hold the line without me. So every time I die, we lose all our progress…and unless I can kick it into max-overdrive and 1v4 my way to victory, we just slowly and painfully lose the match.

Obviously, these aren’t things that should be happening in matches pulling randomly from what should be the most skilled players in the population. 6_6; Like, I refuse to believe that I’ve unknowingly become such a god-tier fighter that the whole playerbase seems like kindergarteners to me (I’m good, but I’m really not that good…).

It HAS to be a matchmaking issue…but even then, it’s concerning that people who’ll spend a whole match hiding from the enemy and “charging specials” (a strategy that only makes sense when you’re woefully inexperienced) are (a) somehow allowed into X Battles, and (b) matched with players like me. In a specialized mode like this, I should not have to worry about playing with people who clearly don't understand the game very well. They don't deserve it, and I don't deserve it. :/ Like, if not here, then where??? What's the use of all these ranks and points and statistics if they don't affect the gameplay experience? Am I expected to grind all the way to S+10 before I'm consistently matched with players of a similar skill level...?

And on that note: something interesting I’ve noticed recently is that, as X Battles have steadily gotten worse, Anarchy Battles have actually gotten better: all of the truly fun, challenging down-to-the-wire matches I’ve had in the last few weeks have been in Anarchy. And to me, this suggests that grinding to X Battle eligibility has become so unrewarding that skilled players who would be going there are instead opting to just stick with Anarchy Battles, making the population of skilled Anarchy players larger than before. I mean, if they’re all having experiences similar to mine, I wouldn’t blame them...

In conclusion: X-Battle players are not to be envied, and also I’m kind of concerned about the future of Splatoon 3’s multiplayer viability. ⚆_⚆; There’s a reason that we have a growing population of exclusive ‘Salmon Runners’ and I think this is part of it…hell, if Salmon Run just had more than 1 mode available on the daily, I might make the switch myself (maybe sthg where you don’t have to worry about losing your pay grade and can just kill fishies for fun with your weapon of choice…I’d love an ‘arcade mode’ or ‘infinite run’~). I’m among the people who no longer enjoy Splatfests (I never thought it would happen to me, BUT IT DID ;_;), and yet I always have fun during Big Runs and Eggstra Work. Apparently, the game immediately becomes 50% more enjoyable when 50% of its inscrutable, unreasonable matchmaking system is no longer an issue. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[simplywhytney]

Chapter 1.05 - Newcrest is Home

Newcrest was home, and Helena was happy to be back for an unofficial visit. She’d given her usual entourage a few weeks off. She traveled to the suburban city with a small security detail consisting of just two agents.

“Auntie ‘Lena!”

Helena heard the voice of her three-year-old niece as soon as she stepped out of the car. She braced for impact. “Hi Livie! I missed you so much!”

“Missed you too. I sawed you and Uncle Tony on TV.”

“You did?!”

“Your dress was so pretty! Is Uncle Tony here too?”

“Not this time sweets. He has a lot of work to do.” Helena put the child down on the ground.

“Hey, you,” said Marcelo as he hugged his younger sister. He’d been on the porch watching his niece play in the front yard when he saw Helena’s car pull up.

“Hey! I didn’t know you were going to be here too. I got the full welcome wagon!”

“Yeah, Darius and I were just helping with the nursery. Though, we were just taking a bit of a break. You know how Candice can be. We wanted to give Jack a little support.”

“Darius is here too?” Helena asked looking around.

“Twice in less than 48 hours, this is a surprise.” Darius said as he came down the stairs.

“Yeah, a good surprise. It was nice seeing you and your wife. Remind me to thank my dad for giving you his tickets. Did she have a good time?”

“Yea, Bea enjoyed herself. She doesn’t get to spend too much time in Windenburg so I told her to stay for a couple more days. I can handle our three terrors by myself for a while.” Darius laughed.

“That’s a lie Mr. W, you have me scheduled to babysit the entire time Mrs. Cervantes is gone.” Kaila said walking up. “Hi Auntie H.”

“Kaila’s here too? Is anyone else going to come out here?” Helena laughed pulling the teenager in for a hug.

“I mean Aunt Candice is inside, but this is here house so…”

“I meant anyone else I didn’t expect smartie pants.”

“We were just heading out anyway. I have to drop this one off at her piano lessons.” Marcelo said.

“And I have to save my in-laws from my twin terrors and their side kick. If you’re still around, you should come Saturday, I’m having a cook out for the big reveal.”

“Big reveal?” Helena asked.

“Darius bought the old Hunter house next door. He’s been fixing it up for the last two years. Apparently he’s finally finished the remodel and wants to show it off to his family and friends.” Marcelo explained.

“I plan to be here for a couple of weeks at least, maybe more. I told Candice I’d be here to help when the babies come, and I want to stick around for Dad’s surgery.”

“I can’t believe the Trust is letting you disappear for so long.”

“Very funny Marcelo. The anniversary party was the last thing I had scheduled before this break. So no royal duties for a while. Anthony can handle it.” Helena smiled.

“All kidding aside, I’m happy you’re here for a while, sis. I’ll see you later for dinner right?”

“Yeah I’ll be there.”

“When you’re free, we should have lunch and catch up.” Darius said as he walked out the door.

“Definitely, I’ll get your number from Marcelo and set something up.”

“See you later Auntie H.” Kaila said as she bounced away.

Helena stood as she watched her family leave. She missed being this close to everyone. Though she’d lived in Windenburg for 16 years, there was nothing like coming home to the people who know you best.

[y-ta-nees-simblr]

Chapter 1.05 - Newcrest is Home

Newcrest was home, and Helena was happy to be back for an unofficial visit. She’d given her usual entourage a few weeks off. She traveled to the suburban city with a small security detail consisting of just two agents.

“Auntie ‘Lena!” Helena heard the voice of her three-year-old niece as soon as she stepped out of the car. She braced for impact. “Hi Livie! I missed you so much!” “Missed you too. I sawed you and Uncle Tony on TV.” “You did?!” “Your dress was so pretty! Is Uncle Tony here too?” “Not this time sweets. He has a lot of work to do.” Helena put the child down on the ground.

“Hey, you,” said Marcelo as he hugged his younger sister. He’d been on the porch watching his niece play in the front yard when he saw Helena’s car pull up. “Hey! I didn’t know you were going to be here too. I got the full welcome wagon!” “Yeah, Darius and I were just helping with the nursery. Though, we were just taking a bit of a break. You know how Candice can be. We wanted to give Jack a little support.” “Darius is here too?” Helena asked looking around.

“Twice in less than 48 hours, this is a surprise.” Darius said as he came down the stairs. “Yeah, a good surprise. It was nice seeing you and your wife. Remind me to thank my dad for giving you his tickets. Did she have a good time?” “Yea, Bea enjoyed herself. She doesn’t get to spend too much time in Windenburg so I told her to stay for a couple more days. I can handle our three terrors by myself for a while.” Darius laughed.

“That’s a lie Mr. W, you have me scheduled to babysit the entire time Mrs. Cervantes is gone.” Kaila said walking up. “Hi Auntie H.” “Kaila’s here too? Is anyone else going to come out here?” Helena laughed pulling the teenager in for a hug. “I mean Aunt Candice is inside, but this is here house so…” “I meant anyone else I didn’t expect smartie pants.”

“We were just heading out anyway. I have to drop this one off at her piano lessons.” Marcelo said. “And I have to save my in-laws from my twin terrors and their side kick. If you’re still around, you should come Saturday, I’m having a cook out for the big reveal.” “Big reveal?” Helena asked. “Darius bought the old Hunter house next door. He’s been fixing it up for the last two years. Apparently he’s finally finished the remodel and wants to show it off to his family and friends.” Marcelo explained. “I plan to be here for a couple of weeks at least, maybe more. I told Candice I’d be here to help when the babies come, and I want to stick around for Dad’s surgery.” “I can’t believe the Trust is letting you disappear for so long.” “Very funny Marcelo. The anniversary party was the last thing I had scheduled before this break. So no royal duties for a while. Anthony can handle it.” Helena smiled. “All kidding aside, I’m happy you’re here for a while, sis. I’ll see you later for dinner right?” “Yeah I’ll be there.” “When you’re free, we should have lunch and catch up.” Darius said as he walked out the door. “Definitely, I’ll get your number from Marcelo and set something up.” “See you later Auntie H.” Kaila said as she bounced away.

Helena stood as she watched her family leave. She missed being this close to everyone. Though she’d lived in Windenburg for 16 years, there was nothing like coming home to the people who know you best.

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself-Story (18+)

CW: adult content

Previous/ Next

Start

Transcript ⬇️

Pic 1:

Daniel: Since my brother’s been here with us, you’re constantly horny. What’s he done to you?

Me: You, drove me crazy D.! And I love you sm. ….. Let’s go upstairs, he’ll be right back.

Daniel: I don’t give a shit! This is my apartment! And I can’t stop now, and you don’t want me to stop either.

Me: Please, D.!

Pic 2:

We finally made up for what we missed the last weeks. Daniel’s half brother was also with us for a few days and I met Tina. She called me! What she told me about Daniel confused me, but he didn’t know anything about it and I wasn’t mad at him for it. But what this exactly was, I’ll tell you later. Because Daniel’s half-brother suggested to help me with Tina. I wasn’t sure at first if Tina was lying about Daniel? I knew Tina since she was a little girl. She wasn’t a bad person and didn’t seem mad, envious or pissed at me that day, rather…… lost & broken. Not like Isabella, for example. When she wanted to talk to me about Philip and the baby.

Still, my first mistake was that I even met Tina and my second mistake was that I told Daniel’s brother about it. He caught me crying and….. well, I told him. I mean it was nice that helped me but in the end… his help did me more harm than good.

Pic 3:

Daniel: That was…… awesome. You were awesome! And you know what? … I’m still feeling it.

Me: Yea. I know what you mean. But maybe we should take a break? We’ve only been doing sex for a week. And now I’m hooked on you. Like….. in summer.

Daniel: I like that!…. But no! We should try to take a little break. I don’t want to overwhelm you. And maybe trigger a panic attack on you again.

Me: You trigger everything else in me rn but definitely not a panic attack! And please don’t touch me! I can’t resist you.

Daniel: Close your eyes babe and try to fall asleep…. When you wake up, I’ll be there and won’t let you go.

Pic 4:

Daniel: Hey, baby.

Me: Hey..... You're so sweet. But what about our break?

Daniel: I can’t fall asleep next to you without kissing you first.

Me: ILY D.! I do whatever you want.

Pic 5:

Me: One night with you and she fell for you. I felt the same. Just one night with you was necessary to change my mind.

Daniel: She? Who are you talking about, babe?

Me: Shit! I-…I’m so lost in you. Sorry, Idk what I’m talking about. I was talking about myself.

Daniel: …. Ok, it’s all fine babe. But don’t look so sad. I love you… Hm, you want to do something else? We…. could go out a bit to get some fresh air or we visit Sandra & Liam.

Me: No. I want what you want.

Daniel: Ok. If that’s the case, I don’t want to talk you out of it.

Pic 6:

Daniel: Where you goin'?… Are you into my brother?

Me: Ahh... What??

Daniel: I’m not saying you’re cheating, I just asked if you like him. Do you imagine how we both do you? Like you did with Nico and Philip?

Me: Are you high or something? Honestly now! You start just like Nico did!! He asked me exactly the same question about Philip back then, so stop it! He put that shit into my head by asking me all those crazy questions.

Daniel: But you did it anyway, so he was right to assume you were into Philip. That’s exactly what I notice now. You and my brother, there’s something going on with you two. I saw him looking at you….. I want him gone! Tell him to get the fuck out of my apartment. Why is he even with us, that fucker? Why did you let him stay here?

Pic 7:

Me: You’re insane D.! I did this just for you! You told him if you lived here alone, he could stay, while I was present and standing right next to you! So what was I supposed to do, shut up? I just wanted to do you a favor like you helped Sandra and also my sister. I thought it would be good for you to meet your brother.

Daniel: And I meant what I said! If I was here alone, he wouldn’t bother me, but I fucking live here with my wife! I couldn’t have guessed that you feel obliged to let my strange half-brother live here with us. I’ll kick him out! And I don’t need him. I have my sister. She’s my only family.... And you.

[stargazersmut]

A Trade | Pt. 12 By the Hour (18+)

Joel X Reader (First Person) 18+

Includes: Smut, threats of violence, dubious consent, teasing, verbal humiliation, manhandling, mild violence, weapons, rough sex

Check out my Ao3 profile for more! StargazerSmut You and Joel take refuge in an abandoned roadside motel

We leave early in the morning, just as the sun is beginning to peak over the horizon, and begin our trek through the woods and back towards the city. The air is still frosted over, but the weather is the nicest it’s been in the last week, the sun shining through a clear blue sky.

I walk behind Joel, studying the back of him, his broad shoulders and perpetual bedhead. The world around us is mostly silent, except for the occasional birds above. As excited as I am to get back into the city, I’m going to miss the peaceful quiet here. The city’s quiet is more unnerving than anything.

I think about everything that’s happened in the last couple days and how it will change once we’re back on the road towards the outpost. Reality seems to sink in a bit, and I try not to feel disappointment at the inevitable.

We walk for what seems like hours, mostly keeping to ourselves, save the occasional comment, and focus on making good time. Just as I’m beginning to feel a little nervous about whether or not we’re actually going anywhere, the road to the highway appears just outside the treeline.

I recognize where we are now. Not quite back towards town, but on the freeway towards the mountains. My family would take this route to go camping in the summer when I was a kid.If we keep up this pace we should be at the outpost within the next two or three days.

We walk along the treeline for most of the day until the road starts to thin a bit and we come across a little roadside motel a ways off the main road that I vaguely remember seeing from before the outbreak. It was already old and dingy then, but now it looked like a relic.

We cross the road, and I follow closely behind Joel as we approach the small check-in office. I peek into the windows, and it appears that while a bit of a mess, it’s mostly undisturbed. I fumble with the door, trying to see how it’s locked when I hear the echo of a loud crash.

I look over, and Joel has kicked in one of the half-dozen or so motel room doors. I walk over and peer in, dust filling my lungs. The place is definitely abandoned.

He repeats this with all the doors, checking each of the rooms as I walk around the back of the building.

Joel eventually make his way around back to find me. “Here.” He tosses me a large tin can, which I’m thrilled to see is soup.

“They have well water,” I say. “And a generator. If we can get it going, we could turn the pump on. Maybe even the electricity to the rooms” He looks impressed, which fills me with a warm sense of pride.

After negotiating the lock on the shed with a large rock, we’re able to find enough gas to get the generator going. It takes a bit of trial and error, but we’re able to get light and water working for the rooms. It won’t last for long, but it’s enough for a cold shower and a bit of warmth for the night, which feels like pure luxury.

After rummaging through the rooms, I’m able to find a few dusty towels and we take turns showering. Even though the water is freezing and nothing is really clean, it feels incredible to at least wash some of the dirt and grime from the past few days away.

After we finish up, I convince Joel to dump our clothes in the tub to soak. Later I’ll hang them over the heater to dry.

I lay on the bed we’ve covered in our sleeping bags and try not to grin like an idiot when he comes walking out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. That’s all I’m wearing myself.

I look at his hair that he’s combed back with his fingers and think back to the night he first came into my life. How I’d been so embarrassed to see him stepping out of the shower. Some of that familiar heat returns to my face as he catches me staring.

He gives me a hungry, serious look as he approaches me, which makes me suddenly self conscious of the small towel wrapped around me. He kneels onto the bed, grabbing my ankles and pulling me flat on my back, tossing my towel, and his, to the ground.

He’s been quiet all day , which makes his hands suddenly all over me feel that much more intense.

His touches are rough and his hands wander over my body with a kind of selfishness and authority that makes me begin to feel a warmth growing between my legs. There’s a hunger in the way he touches me that tells me he needs this release just as much as I do.

He cages me in on the bed, on top of me, and leans into me, kissing down my neck and chest.

I let out a needy whine as he wedges a knee between my legs, pressing it up against me. The friction feels so good and I can’t help but grind against him.

I feel the hardness of his cock growing between us as it presses into my stomach.

My breathing is getting heavy as he bites and licks and sucks up and down my breasts.. I feel myself bucking up against him harder, more desperately now.

He runs a hand through my damp hair, gripping it tightly in his fist. “You need more?” He mocks gently.

I look up at him, pleading with my eyes, pressing up into him in any way I can.

“Your mouth works. I hear it all the goddamn time,” He whispers roughly into my neck. “Use it.”

My mind is spinning and I truly have trouble finding my words while I focus on his mouth, his cock, his thigh pressed up between us.

“Please…I need it Joel.”

His grip in my hair tightens. I feel a slick trail of precum on my stomach. “Tell me what you need, baby.”

Baby.

The way he says it is so uncharacteristically gentle, so soft, even as his weight is bearing down on me and he’s gripping me so tightly. It’s the last thing I would have expected to come out of his mouth, and it sends a wave of heat down my entire body.

“Please fuck me Joel, please.” I sound so desperate as I say it, and I can tell he’s thoroughly enjoying my embarrassment, looking down at my smugly as he runs a hand over my reddening face.

And suddenly he’s there, pressing up against me, and I’m reminded of how big he is. He presses gently against my entrance as I wrap my legs around him.

He leans down and kisses me, pressing against me like that over and over and over again. I feel my wetness coating him as he slides against my cunt, and I’m so desperate to feel him slip inside.

Suddenly that incredible fullness. I feel a wave of pleasure crashing over me as he fills me. I’m so overcome with everything I’m feeling in that moment, almost over-stimulated.

He holds inside me like that for just a moment, not moving as he continues to kiss me, and kiss him more hungrily in return.

“That what you wanted?” He asks me roughly, his voice a rasp whisper against my ear. He sounds lost in his own pleasure now too.

He begins moving, slowly at first, and that ignites us. Our kisses become more fervent, more desperate as we move against each other. I tighten around him and he responds by fucking me harder. We keep going until we’re both panting, searching for each other's mouths, using each other.

I feel him bite my lip, grip my waist as he draws himself deeper inside me. What started as soft and teasing is now almost violent. He pistons inside me and I dig my nails into his back. I feel wave after wave of pleasure hit as I squeeze around him.

He suddenly sits up, hands tightening around my waist, holding me to the bed and watches himself, slamming inside me, filling me up. The look on his face is animal, he looks full of rage and lust and need. His hand slides around my neck, squeezing, and it sends me over the edge.

He grunts hard in response, and I feel his grip tighten around me as he fills me up, pressing as deeply inside me as he can.

He falls against me, and I can sense the exhaustion of the day sweep over both of us in an instant. I let myself melt under the weight of his entire body, wrapped around me like a warm blanket, and we both fall asleep just moments later with him still inside me.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

Nightwish's Floor Jansen: 10 records that changed my life

Eurythmics - Touch (1983)

"Growing up, my parents used to listen to Here Comes The Rain Again by Eurythmics, so that’s how I got in touch with it. Of course, Annie Lennox has a very distinctive voice and that was one of the first things I really started singing along to, so in that sense it’s a part of my own musical development.

Throughout the years I’ve started to appreciate her as a songwriter more and more. These are very old songs, and yet everybody still knows them – they’re timeless. They’ve been covered to bits, and unfortunately the covers usually aren’t better, but it says something about how good this song is and how timeless it is."

Alanis Morisette - Jagged Little Pill (1995)

"Like Annie Lennox, Alanis Morissette formed me and my interest in singing. I was about thirteen when I first heard You Oughta Know. She has her heart on her tongue and she always puts it right there as she means it; it’s very to the point.

The funny thing is now she’s been part of a little film about highly sensitive people [Sensitive: The Untold Story]. She’s in there, talking about the combination of being a highly sensitive person and an artist and of course, as an artist and a highly sensitive woman, I could really identify myself in her stories and reconnect with her at a much later age, in a sense. She came back into my life through that."

Roxette - It Must Have Been Love (single, 1990)

"It Must Have Been Love by Roxette is great sing-a-long music. It’s pretty uncomplicated, super Swedish, very well-written, very well-performed, and one that I just sang and sang! This was also played a lot in the car – you’d have to ask my mum and dad what those journeys were like, my sister and I sang their ears bloody [laughs]! It’s definitely true that the Swedes are great songwriters. It was hard to choose just one song, but this one is as good as any from that time, I think."

The Gathering - Mandylion (1995)

"I first heard The Gathering on the radio. I was listening to a lot of grunge and rock but not much metal yet; that came with Pantera and Machine Head, bands that I really liked, but nothing with a female voice that could really work for me.

There were some female singers, but they were all high and operatic, and I was missing that power – until I heard The Gathering. Strange Machines  just did it for me. That was the first step for me in thinking, I wanna sing in a metal band too! Anneke [van Giersbergen] is opening a few of my solo shows for me this year."

Skunk Anansie - Paranoid And Sunburnt (1995)

"When Weak by Skunk Anansie came out, everything about them was revolutionary. Skin was Black, bald, and gay, a lot of things that people have issues with, but the way she kicked against that – 'I am the way I am and if you don’t like it, too bad for you' – that in itself was so inspiring for a young girl growing up.

But what she did with her voice, those long howls and the effortless highs, that was right up my alley. Back in the day I played that album, Paranoid & Sunburnt, until it was just threads."

Halestorm - The Strange Case Of... (2012)

"I’m not sure exactly how I stumbled upon I Miss The Misery, but that was the first thing I heard from Halestorm. The first thing Lzzy Hale does in the song is this howl, and she really got me on the first note – that’s rare. I was like, “okay, damn!” It’s very American-produced and that hook of “whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh” is pretty cheesy, but it totally works!

I’ve seen her live and all I can think is, how on Earth does your voice survive? She screams and kicks and grunts and everything she does is super cool. Lzzy is a powerhouse, she stands for being feminine in a man’s world and describing her feelings quite to the point in her lyrics."

Evergrey - A Heartless Portrait (The Orphean Testament) (2022)

"Every day on tour in Europe with Nightwish I’ve played Midwinter Calls by Evergrey when I’m putting on make-up. I started listening to them in their early years, when they were still full-on prog.

But what I really appreciate is how every album has something different, how they as a band and Tom [Englund] as a singer-songwriter keep evolving. He has a lot of pop influences in how he sings, and soul and jazz. The common thread throughout this list is singers – you can write great songs, but if the singer doesn’t work for me, I probably won’t last throughout the song just because I can’t get over a voice that I can’t appreciate."

Symphony X - Underworld (2015)

"Without You by Symphony X is a very emotional song, but it’s a great example of what I really appreciate about Russell Allen, which is that he manages to be the glue in a prog song that can otherwise be incredibly complex, by making melodies that are followable and even catchy, and that has made it for me.

That’s why I can listen to Symphony X. He has this full-bodied rocky sound, and his biggest virtue as far as I’m concerned is that he can sing from his heart. You can hear that he means it. I’ve learned a lot from him, he gave me some really wise lessons that I will never forget: that even in stage performance, you can’t always just give everything away. Build it up."

Sam Ryder - There's Nothing But Space, Man! (2022)

"Sam Ryder has an amazing voice, it’s quite diverse: he can go from almost Queen-like singing, to very poppy, to something more like Muse. What inspires me about him is that he’s a self-made man in the modern days, singing his head off on the Internet for God knows how long without anything really happening for him until he was just lifted up and thrown into the world, and seemingly just being the same guy throughout it all, you know?

I hope he can stay himself throughout the whole pressure that’s on his shoulders, as it is right now. I hope he survives the madness of that."

Queen - Innuendo (1991)

"If you make a playlist where singers are your common thread, you can’t really make one without Freddie Mercury. It’s hard to choose one Queen song, but The Show Must Go On is one that we once covered with After Forever.

Speaking about singing from the heart, his vocal interpretation is still one of the best that has ever been. That’s not something you can learn, it’s just something you have – something that he had. This song stands for pushing through even when things are shit, and that sentence often goes through my head when I’m thinking that I don’t know if I can do this: the show must go on.

It’s empowering. It’s so beautiful. It’s an emotional rollercoaster, as music should be. That’s the beauty of writing. If I didn’t have the list I’ve just presented to inspire me, where would I be? I’m very grateful there are so many that went before me.

[kilosch]

Journal Entry: 10/24/24

Morning Routine & Strange Buzziness: Woke up around the same time as yesterday, but for some reason, I felt weirdly buzzy—like I couldn’t tell if it was sleep deprivation or if I was starting to get sick. I got dressed, powered through the fog, and headed to the nearest 7-11 for my morning essentials: an energy drink, coffee, and a snack.

Commute to Huntington Beach – Prepping Mentally: The usual 35-minute drive to the academy felt a bit off today. I put on some Zach Bryan, hoping the music would ease my mind. My test anxiety was creeping back in, and I kept telling myself that I need to focus and push through.

When I parked at the Police Academy, I sat there for a few minutes, sipping my coffee and trying to catch my breath, hoping the caffeine would kick in and help me stay sharp for the day.

Class Begins – LD 16 & Overthinking: By the time I entered the classroom, Instructor Smith was already there, going over the agenda for the day. Today’s focus was all about LD 16 (Search and Seizure), but the deeper we went into the material, the more anxious I became. As informative as the lecture was, I kept thinking, Is this really going to help me pass the test? The material felt more theoretical than practical, and that only made me doubt myself more.

Smith reassured us that the PC 832 test would likely focus on scenario-based questions, which gave me a bit of relief—but not much. I kept jotting down notes, hoping something would click.

A Classmate’s Story – LAPD and Misconduct: Around 3 PM, right in the middle of discussing search and seizure, one of my classmates suddenly opened up about a personal encounter with law enforcement. He’s an Armed Security Officer, and apparently, he had a bad run-in with LAPD.

He explained that he was detained, cuffed, and patted down three times by officers, even though he repeatedly told them he was legally armed. What’s worse, the officers confiscated his firearm and allegedly planted drugs in his car. He said everything was caught on bodycam footage, and he’s currently suing the officers involved.

When Instructor Smith asked which LAPD division was responsible, my classmate responded, “77th Division.” Smith’s response was telling—he just sighed and said, “I’m not surprised... they’re turning into Rampart and Newton.”

For context, Rampart and Newton divisions are known for some of the worst misconduct cases in LAPD history, which gave the conversation a heavy vibe. That was the only interesting part of the day, but it definitely stuck with me.

Heading Home – Reuniting with My Parents: Class wrapped up shortly after that, and I began the hour-long drive home. The drive was tiring, but seeing my parents made everything feel better. When I got home, I hugged them tight—it felt so good to have them back.

Later, I spent some quality time with my dad, taking the dog out for a walk and catching up on life. We talked about everything—work, the academy, and how things have been. My mom mentioned that they’re considering going back to the Philippines in January, which hit me harder than I expected. There’s a chance they might miss my Police Academy graduation, and that really bothers me... but I didn’t say anything. I just nodded and tried to stay positive.

Evening Prep & No Depressive Thoughts: As the night rolled in, I made sure to prepare everything for tomorrow’s class. I feel surprisingly calm—no overwhelming thoughts or anxiety tonight. I think the reunion with my parents helped ground me a bit.

Now, I’m just mentally gearing up to nail that PC 832 test. I want to pass, not just for myself but for everyone who’s been cheering me on.

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough - Baldur’s Gate is ENORMOUS

I didn’t think I could be more overwhelmed but somehow this game just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Which is fine, but… my pathetic little mac can’t deal with it. The deeper I get into the city, the worse the gameplay gets, and it’s so bad now, so bad. I wish there was an even more basic barebones graphics level below low.

Spoilers:

The dark urge flavour in the tabernacle was neat. My character left a big donation for the seldarine goddess not out of religious devotion but as a spiteful fuck-you to daddy. I like that Bhaal answers back. Very fun. And Astarion continues in his theme of being grumpy about anything religious. I don’t know, buddy. After he mentioned being thankful that it was my plot that freed him, I can’t help but look at the whole coincidence of it all and wonder if that was the answer to his prayers, even though it took a long time to play out.

I got to Sorcerous Sundries. The thing that upset me the most about Rolan wasn’t his face, it wasn’t the shitty situation he described, no, somehow the thing that upset me the most was that he wasn’t even bothering to be arrogant and rude anymore. It was that little detail that made me feel the worst and made me understand how bad things were. Poor buddy. It’s ok, Aylin broke Lorroakan over her fucking knee. God I love her.

What an irritating fight though. I accidentally brought all squishy spellcasters with me when maybe a good fighter would have been more efficient. (sigh, Lae’zel, I will find you soon, I promise) My tav freshly leveled up to 11 and I finally, FINALLY got OTTO’S IRRESISTABLE DANCE. Ooooooh I’ve been waiting forever for that. I cast it on Lorroakan right at the start and it was great, kept him quiet the entire fight while we chipped away at all his goddamned elementals until we were ready to kick his ass. Oh my god oh my GOD was it ever funny watching him boogie the whole time in the corner, getting angry every turn and threatening us as he did his little shuffle. I laughed and laughed and laughed. BEST SPELL EVER. Can’t wait to use it on Gortash and Orin. Rolan ended up getting the final killing hit in, which made me pleased. I’ve had Shovel summoned and following Astarion ever since I read the scroll mid-act-1, and sadly she got zapped in the fight and I didn’t notice until a few hours later. I could reload and redo the fight to keep her alive, but myeh I dunno, maybe it’s her time. Gale still knows how to summon her if we want her back.

I don’t have patch 6 yet - mac users always have to wait longer - so I don’t get to see the new fight cinematics yet. I assume that once the patch comes out, I’ll be able to load old save slots up and watch it then?...

After that, I was just dicking around and found the whole lower level of the tower and all the stuff that goes with that totally by accident.

I did the whole newspaper quest thingie, and managed to do it mostly by just sneaking really good, only ended up using one single invisibility potion… but I don’t know if my game is bugged or what, I was a bit disappointed, the next morning the quest had succeeded and NPCs talk to me like I’m a celebrity now, but the newspaper wasn’t about me. If I succeed or if I fail, the paper is always just random unrelated headlines. I was wanting a funny and relevant story! :( Ah well. Sneaking through there around the guards was a pain in the ass and a half but I’m low on invisibility potions :( Until I get some more I need to be careful.

The only thing more fun than exploring and finding all the neat little details is doublechecking with my daughter who is also playing, and seeing how much she has MISSED because she just speeds through with no patience for the exploring. Lmao. She’s currently stuck at Shadowheart’s big fight in the House of Grief. I popped down there myself to take a look and shee-it, that is definitely a nasty stupid fight.

Dang there’s so much stuff here in the city though. I honestly can’t even remember all of what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m kind of in the mood to hurry up and get to the Cazador fight, but there’s so much city to explore between here and there. And my computer lags and lags and lags.