#(i say like ive started it. i have not. it is now almost 6PM on sunday)

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

....oh when i finish DRAGON i could watch sandman and knit, huh

[gabyun]

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ he likes me, he likes me not. - n.riki

pairing - niki x fem! reader

genre - highschool! au , bestfriends to lovers , fluffy fluff, teenage love, awkwardness in some parts, amusement park date

warnings - none besides like a few swear words😭 AND ITS VERY CHEESY

summary - you and niki hangout consistently, multiple times a week. the air started to feel different between you two, but both of you just tried to ignore it. niki, unfortunately wasn’t able to ignore it so easily. he felt butterflies from such little things you would do, little things you would say. he lately had a fuzzy feeling around you, but he just kept telling himself ` i don’t like her, we’re just too close. i don’t like her, i don’t like her, i don’t like her. or do i? `

wc - 2.7k

a/n - ahh this is my first time even writing something like this, i hope its not cringe or anything and i hope it doesnt seem way too rushed. i’ve been wanting to write stuff for awhile now and i finally had the chance to so i hope this came out good 😽 lmk if theres anything i should keep in mind for the next one !! i also finished this at like 2am so its not entirely proofread but definitely give me advice 🙏(also this entire time ive been listening to ur so pretty by the wasia project so this is like the background song of this story.)

you and riki were inseparable. firstly, you guys had almost every class together so it truly added onto the fact that you both were rarely seen without each other. secondly, you both lived on the same street since second grade meaning you two walked home together everyday. so, obviously people had speculated that there was something between you both. but, you guys consistently turned the idea down. it was now last period, english class. you guys inevitably sat beside each other. " hey niki " you began. "hm? whats up?" he perked up after having his head laying down on his desk. "do you wanna stop at the convenience store before we head home? im kinda hungry and both of our parents dont get home until 6pm." you asked. "hell yeah i do!" he looked up at you excitedly. "but you have to pay this time. i didnt bring any money" "ugh, fine" you sulked. "y/n i literally payed last time." you shot him a dirty look. "fine. but dont get $30 worth of snacks like that one time." "yeah yeah whatever.."

the bell rang, and it was time to go home. you and niki excitedly walked to the convenience store you both previously mentioned. you walked up to the door, opening it and jokingly saying "ladies first" to niki. "tch" he said sassily, rolling his eyes. the door chimed whilst being opened, and the employee greeted you both. you guys walked around the snack isle, the brightly coloured drinks illuminating certain sections of the store. one in particular caught your eye, so you walked over and grabbed it "i cant believe you dont like milkis." you said. "there are way better drinks y/n. " "yeah? like what." you challenged him. "um, anything besides milkis?" he sarcastically smiled. you walked over toward the icecream bin, selecting your favourite one. "niki, u want ice cream? they have ur favourite." you reached in deeper to grab it. "yeah sure. thatll be nice on a day like this" "ugh, i don’t want winter to come.. it’ll be so cold!" you shuttered. "you’ll survive y/n" niki sighed. you walked up to the checkout counter with niki, placing your items down. "that’ll be $14!" the older, but sweet looking woman said. "thats much less then last time." you pulled out your wallet, giving her the money. you both walked out, and you sat down on the concrete steps next to the store windows. niki followed, sitting right next to you. you never noticed before, but he smells good. like a mix of shampoo and some sort of cologne. you never knew he wore cologne. you guys simultaneously unwrapped the ice cream together, and started indulging in the sweet snack. "this is so good!" you said. "i bet mines better." niki remarked. "let me try yours." he put his ice cream in-front of your mouth, and let you take a bite. "mmh.. its alright.. niki i just think my tastes are better then yours" you shrugged playfully. your relationship was always playful. you guys were constantly teasing each other, and it felt good. it felt good to be so close to someone. as you guys continued, he looked over at you. the lights of the convenience store lit up the back of your body as the sun started setting earlier due to it getting slightly colder, making your hair glisten. he never noticed how pretty your hair looked under the bright lights. you both finished up, starting to get ready to finish your walk home. as you guys cleaned up, you looked over toward his face. you giggled, reaching your hand towards his mouth. "you’ve always been such a messy eater." his eyes widened, a hint of pink slightly covering his cheeks. "i-i can clean my own face.." "oh. sorry niki." you trailed off, confused. this wasn’t your first time cleaning off his face yet to him it felt different. he felt an unusual feeling, his heart fluttered and his stomach felt warm as his face did too. throughout this whole interaction, the convenience store lady observed quietly through the window. "i miss my high school years." she sighed.

late summer turned into fall, and fall turned into winter. nikis feelings just kept getting harder and harder to ignore. niki was in the change room after gym class with his friends. "are you sure you dont have feelings for y/n?" his friend jay asked. he hesitated momentarily. "yes. i am sure.. why are you asking..?" he questioned, worriedly. "so you wont care if i ask her to go out with me?" niki looked shocked by his comment. "you dont even know her.. why would you wanna ask her out." he said, annoyed. "niki, she is really beautiful. im sure theres a lot of other guys who would love to get a chance with her." his other friend heeseung added. "still! y/n doesnt need to be dating shitty guys like you. she deserves someone who will treat her right.. especially not you guys." he huffed, even more annoyed. "and i dont like her." jay and heeseung shrugged in defeat. "or do you?" jay added. "i dont.." niki trailed off, thinking about it more. "whatever you say, buddy." heeseung said, sarcastically. niki finished changing quickly, grabbing his bag and leaving for his next class. once the door shut, jay and heeseung and a few other boys began talking "he definitely has feelings for her." "yeah, 100%" "i don’t doubt that" "its getting extremely obvious" "mhm"

he stood outside your house, waiting for you to come out so you both could get headed to school. he oddly felt nervous. you opened the door, and waved, cutely. you were wearing a scarf, as niki was also. you both had big puffy jackets. you walked towards him. "lets go! i dont wanna be late again." he took in your beauty. "mhm" he answered, quietly. as you were walking, you offered him your other earphone. you guys had similar music tastes. ‘somethin stupid’ by frank sintara had begun to play. "i love this song." you said, softly. "yeah. it is really nice." he breathed out air, the cold made it look like smoke. you opened your pocket mirror, adjusting your hair. "do i look good? i had such a bad hair day yesterday." niki turned to you, not surprised by your question, but hes never truly seen you that way before. hes always known you’re pretty, but he never actually felt that way. "you look beautiful. you are beautiful." he said. "w-what?" you said, completely taken aback. he’s obviously complimented you before, but about your looks more specifically? this time, it really sounded like he meant it. you looked away from your pocket mirror, facing him. he looked at you with a twinkle in his eyes. you both stood there for a couple seconds more. "n-nothing.. forget i even said anything." he looked down at his feet. you could practically feel his embarrassment radiating off of him. you guys continued walking, listening to your shared playlist. a couple minutes go by and you began to speak. "thank you, niki." "hm?" "thank you. for calling me beautiful." you looked down at your feet, smiling. "oh.. don’t worry about it." he rubbed the back of his neck. both of your feelings were becoming more and more apparent as the days went on.

you were laying in bed, reading your favourite book with a comforting lamp on. you were under your fluffy blanket, and your curtains flowed softly as your window was the slightest bit open. you felt the buzz go off on your phone sitting next to you.

riks : omg y/n

you : omg niki

riks : remember that amusement park we mentioned wanting to go to for awhile?

you : yes ofc i remember?!?

riks : WELL THEYRE OPENING NEXT WEEKEND!!

you : NO WAY FR??

riks : YES DO U WANNA GO

you : is that even a question.

riks : alr alr IM SO EXCITED

you : ME TOO

you shut off ur phone, kicking around in your bed out of excitement. you and nikis parents would always take you guys to amusement parks or fairs when you were little. you guys haven’t gone in quite a while, so this was gonna be fun, but also nostalgic. big rides were always your favourite thing, but he hated them. he was always so scared to go on them, so this time you were absolutely determined to make him go on one with you.

around a week passes by, and its time to get ready to go to the amusement park with niki. it was still pretty cold, so you had to take that into account. the park was opening back up for some sort of winter event, apparently it was supposed to be really pretty. you’re getting ready, styling your hair and doing your makeup. usually, you dont put that much makeup on. but this time, without even realizing, you were doing alot more. you put some really pretty eyeglitter on, using waterproof mascara so your eyelashes hold better, just overall doing stuff you wouldnt usually do on a day to day basis. "wait.. why am i so worried about how i look, its just niki." you told yourself. just niki. as you were continuing to get ready, you were getting increasingly nervous. "this isnt a date y/n, this isnt a date. you have nothing to be worried about. its just a regular hangout with your bestfriend." you kept telling yourself. you put your jacket on, and you also grabbed a fuzzy scarf. little did you know, niki was telling himself the same things in the mirror as he tried to lessen the sweat on his palms.

you and niki arrive at the amusement park. it was beautiful lit, even though it wasn’t late the lights of all the fun rides illuminated the place wonderfully. you and niki looked at each other and smiled brightly, bringing back tons of memories. niki ran over to the bumper cars, and you followed. it was always his favourite thing to do. you hopped in the car of your choice and niki went in the one beside you. the game started, and you tried your best to hit niki as hard as you possibly could, whipping him forward practically giving him whiplash. you were basically pissing yourself laughing as he gave you the nastiest look. it took him a few tries but he finally ended up beside you once again and repeatedly rammed into you. you guys went 2 more rounds before becoming tired and finally leaving the bumper car area. you both adjusted yourselves, but niki noticed your shoelace was untied. "y/n, hang on." he knelt down in-front of you, and began tying your shoelaces with his slender fingers. "i could’ve done it myself but thank you niki" he looked up at you, smiling and nodding. you ruffled his hair and he shot up. "hey!! i spent a while trying to make my hair look good.." you laughed at him, continuing to look for other things to do. one of those water gun games caught your eye. "niki look! we used to always try and win plushies on that." his head swung toward you, immediately challenging you to see who could score higher. you both were trying your hardest, and you obviously won. he sighed in defeat. the employee handed you this adorable hamster plushie. you looked at it, smiling. "niki you kinda look like a hamster when you’re sulking." you put the hamster up to his face to compare, jokingly. "tch, yeah yeah whatever y/n" he said. "niki, you should have it. it looks like you anyways, and you’ll be reminded of me everytime you look at it." you shot him a joking wink. he took the plushie as you said he should. some time passes by, and you guys already ate and drank stuff, went on the carrousel and all of the basics and its been a few hours. the sun was starting to set, and the lights of the park continued to get brighter. "niki. we need to go on a big ride." niki looked at you for a split second, as if you just told him his pet died. "um absolutely not?" he answered. "niki pleaaaaaase" you clung onto his arm, pretty close to his face. "cmonnn just this once?" you blinked at him. he was looking directly at you, but no words were escaping his mouth. "f-fine.." he looked away, with a tinge of pink covering his ears. you were unable to tell if he was blushing or if he was cold. "i never thought you’d actually agree. this is like the best day ever?!" you grabbed nikis arm, and rushed into the line of one of the relatively larger rides, but not too large so niki wouldn’t be too terrified. after a bit you guys got seated beside eachother, and the employee pulled the over the shoulder restraint on you guys. you could tell niki was obviously nervous. "y/n i cant believe you made me do this. i actually despise you right now." "im sorry!!! only this once okay, i’ve always wanted to go on one with yo-" your sentence was cut short as the ride began, making a loud noise. "y/n i cant believe this." niki panicked. you giggled slightly as the ride made its way up to the highest point. you put your hand out for niki to hold, and he grabbed it immediately. after a few more seconds of comforting him the ride reached its highest point. after the it holding for a few seconds, it let go and your free hand went up. niki squeezed tighter and screamed loud. "Y/N L/N I DONT KNOW WHY I AGREED TO THIS" "I DONT KNOW EITHER" you yelled back. after around a minute, the ride came to its final stop.

you got off smiling and happy, whereas niki came off completely disheveled. it was a funny scene, you looked like a joyful golden retriever puppy and he looked like a grumpy black cat. you looked back at him and noticed his messy appearance. "sooo, how was it." you asked curiously, fixing his jacket along with his scarf. "never again." his eyes met your face. "it couldnt have been that bad." you reached your arms up, fixing his fluffy hair. you smiled at him whilst he stared into your face, unable to think of anything besides you.

it turned late, and it was 10 minutes left on the clock before the beautiful fireworks started. you guys found a decent place to stand, and you were both snacking on a pretzel. you witnessed multiple couples walking by, and thinking about how you wouldn’t be so opposed to being in a relationship. "gosh, theres so many couples here today." "theres couples here constantly." he added. "okay, but still. they’re all so lovey-dovey." "i guess so." you guys continued talking and the fire work show started, beginning with a few small ones. you both looked up in sync, mesmerized by the bright colours. twinkling eyes, niki looked over at you. it took him a while to take it in, but at this very moment his feelings truly solidified and he wasn’t so unsure anymore. it was forever since you spent a day together at your favourite childhood place, and now its the place where he recognizes how much he likes you. "y/n?" he says your name. "mhm.. whats up..?" you say slowly, completely and utterly enthralled by the fireworks growing in size. "i-i.." he trailed off, still facing the fireworks but his head facing you. "i think i like you." a huge firework exploded. "no, i do like you." it took you a moment to process. you turned towards him in shock. "i hope this doesn’t ruin anything, i cherish our friendship and i don’t ever want to lose yo-" you cut him off, grabbing his face. "you could never lose me. i like you too, dummy." you gave him a quick peck as another firework exploded. it felt like there were mini fireworks exploding in both of your hearts.

[bumblebeerror]

My back nerves have been befuckened. About 12 hours ago now. I got home, had something to eat, and then conked out.

Notes on this experience:

During -

The saline they flushed my IV with tasted weird and metallic. Sort of like if ozone was stale. It was weird being able to taste things in my veins. I could also hear/feel each thing get injected.

Funky bendy needle. Mom explained it was actually a cath needle because they’re easier to work with. The nurse’s placement was awesome, I didn’t even feel it go in.

It’s hard to find a comfortable laying position on your back on a hospital bed. I ended up sitting with my knees up.

Several of the staff glanced at my tiny elephant stuffie with some form of bemusement. I stuck its feet between my fingers so that it wouldn’t fall out of my hand. No idea if this worked but I did still have it when I woke up. This could have just been one of the nurses putting it back in my hand at some stage.

Nasal cannula made it hard to breathe out. 0/10 did not like. Also made my nose itchy.

I was asked who I was and what I was there for a total of 5 times. It felt like a weird pop quiz. I remembered “bilateral ablation” and was proud of myself.

I somehow managed to only have a BP of 130/80 despite being more anxious than I’ve been in a while. I do not like not knowing what’s happening to my body, and I was largely nonverbal.

Doc said he wished he didn’t have to stab me when I told him I was ready to be stabbed. Mom called bullshit because she’s a nurse and she knows it’s fun. He found this hilarious

After -

The anesthesiologist was a really sweet dude. I woke up to him saying “it’s time to wake up, you did a great job!” I apparently got a good grade in being anesthsetized, normal to want and possible to achieve

I had a dream, but immediately upon waking up I forgot everything about the dream. It was replaced instantly with the entire time I was out feeling like a blink.

I lost short term memory in 5-10 second chunks after waking up for a little while. I remember waking up to the anesthesiologist, then forgot transferring to the rolling bed and being returned to the curtained bay I started out at. I remember choosing juice and peanut butter crackers, forgot the person who brought them walking over and back to get them and me opening both, had to double check id said things out loud to my mom. This is when I remember finding my stuffie still in my hand.

The aftermath felt like being high on weed without the munchies or the body high feeling. Everything was slowed down and it took me a while to process questions, my eyes were itchy, and I was kind of sleepy.

At this point I was expecting pain but didn’t have any, and asked if my back had been numbed. It had not. On account of me being sedated and all

I was allowed to walk out under my own power. The floor felt kind of uneven and I held my mom’s hand so that I wouldn’t float off. I was constructing sentences by then but mostly out of necessity than out of actually wanting to talk.

We ran errands on the way home, got coffee and donuts, picked up prescriptions. I was awake and aware, but struggled with speaking and mostly listened to mom talk.

Ate, played a little with Duck, finished my matcha, and conked the fuck out. Slept from like 2pm to 6pm. Laying down was mostly comfortable? My back felt slightly strained in a lot of positions until I found one where it didn’t.

Back now aches along a tendon that connects near my hip and I can feel it when I move, and otherwise just. Feels vaguely like I’ve had a needle in my back a couple times for obvious reasons. Sort of sore, maybe like a really deep bruise, a bit irritated, but otherwise fine. Less pain than I woke up with this morning. I fully expected it to be a gets worse before it gets better kinda deal.

Conclusion: 9/10 I could stand to have fewer memory blanks but the surprise almost no pain is nice. We shall see if it starts burning at some point

[closhelby]

HER. - Thomas Shelby

Smut

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warning: it’s peaky blinders, with smut

Word Count: 2472

AN: this is my first time writing smut, please give me any tips pls, it’s appreciate. It’s probably shite.

::::::

She always was on his mind. The woman, that always read between the lines, always two steps ahead of him, and had an incredible eye for business. She had left him years prior, leaving for a top business school in London. they never had a title, a label on their relationship, but it wasn’t exactly a secret that they always, somehow, gravitated back to one another. Often people, especially Polly, would say that there was no way two people would be so alike, strong headed but only rarely clashed. 

However y/n’s degree had finished and she was coming back to Small Heath for a period of time before she was going to figure out what exactly what she wanted to do. Y/n was actually great friends with the Shelby family, since growing up with them, living just down the road, they practically lived together. Y/n was actually younger than Tommy, she was ages with Ada and John. They were in the same class throughout school, Ada and y/n regularly wrote to each other, updating each other on Ada’s eventful life as a Shelby still in Small Heath and y/n’s very exciting studying life in London. 

They had actually planned to meet up, for a nice and quiet drink at the Garrison on her return. The thoughts swirled in y/n’s mind as she approached the Garrison, it had just gone 6pm, and she knew as it was a Friday, she did have a possibly of bumping into her first, arguably her only love.  Pushing the thoughts to the back of her head, she pushed open the door to see a fairly crowded Garrison. 

“Ah, y/n, how was London?” Harry shouted, from behind the bar. Y/n smiled at him, walking over to Ada sitting in the back corner. “It was good Harry, nice to be back in this clear Birmingham air��. He chuckled slightly, “Whiskey coming up love”. 

Y/n nodded, taking a seat next to Ada, giving her a cuddle, “Unsure if ive missed this place or not” y/n laughed slightly, eyes scanning the pub, looking for the one man she questioned if she did want to bump into. The pair was throwing back drinks like it was going out of fashion, knowing they would both regret this in the morning. Apparently, Ada wasn't allowing y/n to go back home, and in fact y/n didn't have a home yet and wasn't willing to go back to her parents, so Ada was insisting that she stayed at hers until y/n found a suitable place. Y/n didnt put up a fight, despite them both being hot heads, and taking absolutely no shit from anyone, men or woman, y/n didn't argue. She was actually really thankful for her. 

They eventually stumbled into the house in the early hours of the morning, their laughs echoing throughout the silent house. 

::::

The sun caught y/n directly in the eyes, quickly awoke y/n from her sleep. Her head felt as though someone had been hitting her head against the floor multiple times. Y/n continued to lay there, turning away from the sun, trying to keep the contents of her stomach from getting sprayed all over her and the sleeping Ada. She made an attempt at moving, sat with her head in her hands as she was trying to give herself words of encouragement to get up and make herself something to eat. 

“Fuck sake, why do we do this to ourselves?” Ada moaned from behind her. Y/n scoffed, “ Your bloody idea”.

Quickly standing up, in hope she could get it over with quickly. The room continuing to spin, as she attempted to walk to the door. Ada following closely behind. 

They both sat slumped over the dining room table, as they attempted to sober up and embrace the oncoming hangover. John now present, laughing at the two dying woman in front of him. 

“Good night?”

“Always.” Ada grumbled.

Pol placed a plate in front of them, toast with jam, “Does Tommy know your back? 

Eyes falling onto y/n from every person in their, “No.” answering quietly. 

Attempting to change the subject, “Told myself I would start looking for a new job today, since I shall be staying here for a decent period of time.”

John raised his eyebrow, “Tommy’s looking for a new secretary.” A slight smile on his face, “You've got a good background, business and that”.

“hm, I don't think so Johny boy”.    

“Don’t say no too soon, your a good asset to the business.” Pol added. No one was ever in y/n’s corner more than Pol, they would bang heads sometimes, as neither of them would back down. But she accepted y/n was the only one that had the best interest for Tommy.

The front door closed, and there he stood, the room turning to face Tommy, silence filling the room, then he broke it, “Heard you were back.”

“Yeah,” she replied quietly.

“Well, you know where I am if you need that job, I’m sure you’ve already been told,” he spoke, cigarette hanging from his mouth, as he walked away from them and into his office.

Y/n let out a breath, as though she hadn’t been breathing the whole time he was there. Ada smiled at her, placing her hand onto y/n’s, “I’m just going to get ready for the day love,” and off she went upstairs. The boys getting on with their day, and Pol following suit.

Y/n sat collecting her thoughts while trying to tell herself to face her ex lover, who she was still so deeply in love with. She tapped on the door slightly, opening it before opening it, “hi”, seeing his eyes flutter onto her shot tingles throughout her body, his eyes quickly looking away

“You can start tomorrow if you wish, I need a few papers signed and sent tomorrow. I can get your contract drawn up tonight.” He spoke, his eyes still not lifting from the paper in front of him.

“Yes, that’s fine 8am?”

“8.45, shop doesn’t open until 9. And there are others to set it up, that’s not your job.”

Nodding, “I heard you have a new woman.”

At this point he did look up at her, “I heard you had plenty men in London,”

She laughed slightly, nodding before heading to the door, “none were ever a patch on you,” closing the door, leaving a smirk on Thomas Shelbys face.

The following day came around, as y/n got ready for the day. Putting on a formal black tightly fitted dress, flats and pin curled hair. A slight tint of red lippy, remembering it used to be Tom’s favourite. Assuming Tommy wouldn’t be at the shop at this time, she took a whiskey with her placing it on the desk infront of Tommy’s office. The place was silent, despite there being other employees now starting to arrive, something calming about the place, almost the calm before the storm, she thought.

The hour was now around ten thirty, and there was still no sign of Tommy. She had already finished the papers he had left for her on her desk. It wasn’t the usual small Heath lady, she was educated, and to a very high level. y/n was sat twiddling her thumbs, awaiting Tommy’s arrival to get other things done.

“Y/n. My office please,” his voice low, as he stood behind her. She stood up quickly, following him into the private room.

“There’s your contract, if you wish to have a read over it. I see you’ve finished the work I gave given you for the day.”

Y/n took the contract into her hands, scanning for any mistakes or anything to question. But he actually was paying her nearly double the rate of other staff, and just over that the London rate was, “you’ve done your research eh. More than London rates, impressive. The peaky’s are stepping up in the world” Y/n smiled at him, as she placed the documents on the desk, picking up his pen, and signing it. Y/n Y/l/n. Followed with today’s date. That was now it, she was a Shelby Co Ltd employee.

...

The days turned into weeks, spending time with tommy while no one else was looking was becoming a regular thing. She now had her own place, just doors down from the shop. He would regularly call her into the office, and discuss things that he would usually never utter a word about. It had always been that way with them, since they were little, he would confine in her, telling her all the issue and problems he was facing, both in his mind and with others. But it was also coming to her attention that he was still seeing Grace.

Later on in the day, the clock chimes 11pm, as y/n sat listening to the music that takes her back to a child, while sipping a whiskey. The knock of her front door bringing her out of her daydream, she picked up her handgun that she kept on her at all times. Growing up with The Shelby’s, she had to protect herself in someway. She kept it behind her, out of view for anyone who was in front of her, slowly creeping up to answer the door. She swung it open, gun clocked and pointed directly in the face of Thomas Shelby. Not wasted, but defiantly had a few.

“Ah, can never change a Shelby girl eh” He spoke, laughing slightly as she lowered the gun and he stepped inside. 

“Although, I’ve never been a Shelby girl, have I Tom?”

“Depends who you ask.”

She sighed, stepping in to the fire lit living room, “Drink?”

He nodded in response, and y/n began to pour him a whiskey, topping up hers and handing a full glass over to him. “Why are you here?”

He stepped over to her, the closest they had been together since before she left for London. He placed a hand on her back, pulling her head into touch his, their foreheads touching. The sensation ran through her body like the first time they had ever touched. He placed his hand on around the back of her neck, pulling her into him, his lips crashing onto hers. Their tongues intertwining with each others as the kiss started to deepen.  Y/n reached for his jacket, pulling it off his back, before making her way on to unbuttoning his shirt. Tommy pulled the bottom of her nightdress up, y/n only allowing the kiss to be broken to allow it to come over her head. 

Their lips syncing with each other once again as tommy took his now unbuttoned shirt off, moving onto unbuckling his trousers revealing his already hard length. He began to push her back onto the couch, untangling her lace thongs from around her legs. His fingers trailing over her already wet pussy, “Do it” y/n whispered as she pulled his face back up to kiss hers. 

He didn't even wait as he shoved his length into her. Their bodies rocked in sync together, “Tommy...” Y/n moaned, her fingers trailing down his shirtless torso. The stars were starting to align, the room was warm, full of love. It felt as though it was five minutes but in reality it was around fifteen all in.

Their breath shortened as y/n’s back started to arch as she came close to climax, “cum for me”. He spoke, looking at her directly in the eyes as he rocked her world. The love, chemistry, love and lust, all so very present just as it was back how they were before. Both of them moaning in pleasure, as they both came at the same time. The deep breaths and steamy windows showing the passion that had just unfolded. 

::::::::::::::::::::

It was a Friday evening, a week following the night of sin that taken place between Tommy and Y/n. They had still had the talks in private in the office, and on another occasion she was fucked bent over his desk after closing time. Y/n wasn't one to hide her feelings, it would always be present on her face so when it came to facing Grace in the Garrison, it wasn't hard to tell how y/n’s feelings were over her.  

Pol chuckled softly, clocking the glare Grace was on the opposite end of, “If looks could kill” Ada joining in on the hilarity. 

“She would've been killed 8 times over” Y/n replied, turning back to face the women. Whiskey in hand. 

“Feelings still there for him then?” Ada asked. 

“No, I wouldnt say so” y/n lied. 

“Cant lie to a gypsy woman love” Pol laughed, y/n begining to laugh with her when the doors open to reveal Tommy and his two bothers. Tommy’s icy blue eyes scanning the room, a slight smile shooting over to Y/n before approching the bar where Grace was, where he stood there for a good twenty minutes chatting away to her. 

“I cant take this anymore.” y/n looked over to Ada, who was rising her eyebrow while taking a sip of her drink. She was fairly close to them, and y/n being y/n liked to have a slight stir up now and again. She stood up, smile showing on her face as Pol and Ada laughed, watching her approach them both. 

“So, hows your little fling going?” she spok loud enough that Pol, Ada, Arthur and John could hear her. 

“Y/n” Tommy warned. 

“Who are you?” Grace questioned. 

“Y/N,” she responded, leaning herself against the bar, “The woman he has fucked behind your back multiple times this week.”

Pol snorted, almost chocking on her drink, “ I fucking knew it. Gypsy senses never lie.” 

“To be honest with you Grace, you had absolutely no chance when Y/N came back” Ada added. 

At this point, Tommy had moved y/n away from the bar, into the small room, “what are you doing?”

“You cant take the piss out of me, fucking me but then fucking her thinking youll get away with it.” she was pissed, and he could see it in her face. They had never spoke on their feelings toward each other. Everyone knew that it was always each other but there was nothing that compared to them, they always seemed to go back.

“I have always loved you but you left to go to London, I had people follow you. I knew what you were up to so I assumed you would stay down there, I assumed you had moved on.” He spoke, almost showing vulnerability.

“Oh I know. I can remember faces Tom. I think you forget I can see right through you,” she seethed, through her teeth, “what are you going to do about this?”

Tommy cupped her face, pulling her into kiss her.

“I love you.” He mumbled, feeling her smile into their kiss.

“I love you Tom,”

[nikrangdan]

photographer!ni-ki

pairing: photographystudent!ni-ki x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: every time you went to the park you noticed a mysterious boy who would take pictures of the scenery on his cute little camera. you liked to see what he’d take pictures of from afar but one day you noticed his camera pointing straight at.. you

for ni-ki’s bday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE <33 sorry i posted a day late but i hope u all enjoy!

———

“y/n!”

you groan before getting out of your bed at 10am

it was a saturday why was your mom yelling at u ..

you walked into the kitchen all sluggishly and rubbed your eyes

“you need to start taking suki on walks to the park. you need the exercise too.” your mom doesn’t even spare u a glance before walking out the door to run some errands

right

u forgot u were taking care of ur cousins dog while he was out of town... her name was suki

shes a little shiba inu AND SHES THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!

WELP

u dont even have a choice anymore

u got somewhat ready before heading out with suki in your arms

shes so soft and fluffy

though u dont like to admit it, u kinda agreed with ur mom about u needing to exercise and get out the house

you’ve been cooped up in your room for days with no social or nature interaction

so

the park was about a 10 minute drive from ur house

and it was actually a really pretty park...

there was a lake and really pretty flowers everywhere and alot of gazebos and benches

and a nice open field of greenery

it basically looked like a park out of a movie

so you weren’t suprised that there was a decent amount of people there

but not too much thankfully.. or else you would’ve driven to another park with less people

you got out the car with suki and put her on the leash

let the walking begin!!!!

it was a really nice day out... the sun was shining but it wasnt too hot or cold

you led her onto the sidewalk and she began sniffing at the grass around her

whenever a few people would pass they would coo at how adorable she was

it wasnt until 5 minutes later that ur eyes locked onto a figure infront of the lake

you were just walking with suki in silence.. admiring the scenery

until u caught sight of a boy

u could only see his back but u noticed the camera over his shoulder

he was standing in one of those photographer poses where like one leg is bent and kind of out while his back is hunched to get that perfect angle of a shot

he was infront of the sidewalk railings where the lake begins and he was taking photos of the scenery across from it

it was a beautiful sight honestly

there was another sidewalk but behind it was colorful trees and blossoming flowers and bushes

u understood why he’d take pictures of it

you didnt see his face but u kind of acknowledged the boy before walking past him with suki

basically thinking he was just another passerby that you noticed making a single appearance in your life and never expecting to see him again

OH BOY U WERE WRONG

the next time you see him is 3 days later at the same park

you were walking suki again but this time at 7pm after dinner

the sun was almost done setting so the sky was getting darker but there was still a hint of the orange circle peeking from below

this time you walked further down the sidewalk path towards the scattered gazebos

and you noticed the same boy again

this time he was sat in one of the gazebos with his tiny camera in his hands

his back was hunched over again and he was looking closely at the pictures he had taken

‘oh its him again’ u thought

and that was it

LOL

u just acknowledged him in ur head AGAIN before u thought nothing of it and continued ur walk with suki

so the NEXT time u saw him was another 2 days later at 7pm again

you wanted to take suki on a quick walk

but you got tired after like 10 minutes so you sat down on a blanket u brought

suki was just laying next to u while u were on ur phone

it wasnt fully dark out yet and there was still a few people in the park

the fairy lights that were placed around were lit up already

it was super pretty and the weather was nice

after staring at ur phone for a few mins u looked up just to look around

and u saw Him again

wow

why do u keep seeing him !?!?!

his back was faced towards u like always

and he was like 40 feet away from u so he looked so tiny

but u could tell it was him because of his blond hair and black coat he always wore

you kind of zoned out and unfortunately ur eyes were trained on his back without u even noticing

and he

turned

around

for the first time EVER!!!!

its like he sensed someone staring at him

but yes he turned around with his camera in his hand

the first thing u noticed was that he got a new camera

it was a larger black one

definitely more expensive

Awe good for him!!!!!

and then u glanced up to see his face

and u made EYE CONTACT

u looked away so fast

because

He was SO CUTE.............

u awkwardly started looking to your left and tried turning ur face away from him

‘oh look at those beautiful um... birds.. yeah’

hopefully he didnt notice

*nervously sweats*

u didnt dare look back in that direction so u spent the rest of your evening in the park on ur phone or playing with suki

eventually it reached 8pm so u packed up ur stuff and went home

U were still kind of thinking about that boy....

so u were like

i need to go back

and u did Lol

u went back the next day at 6pm this time with suki

it was lighter out and the sky was beautiful

perfect for a certain boy to be taking photos

*evil laugh*

u were walking for like 15 minutes and u didnt see him anywhere :((((

the one time u go there for HIM

u settled down under a tree

suki immediately went on the blanket when u sat down too

you played tug of war with her and fed her some treats while playing

playing with her for 10 minutes straight definitely tired u out so u laid down and just stared at the sky

it was a faded blue turning into orange and pink

U were kinda bored so u sat up and started petting suki

you would occasionally glance up at the strangers walking past u

and

let me tell u what Happened..

u looked up at another lady walking her dog and went like

‘aweee that dog is so cute’ in ur head

and u took ur eyes off the dog and glanced to ur right

idk bc u felt like it

AND GUESS WHAT U SEE???!??????

THE BOY

LIKE 20 FEET AWAY

STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD

AND HE HAD HIS CAMERA UP TO HIS FACE

and it WAS POINTED AT U ??!?!

as soon as u looked in his direction he jumped and put his hands down

he like

Blushed????? and awkwardly smiled u know rubbing the neck and all that

he was embarrassed

ur cheeks were turning so red

BUT HE WAS SO ADORABLE

was kind of weird.... stalkerish but um

he cleared that up BECAUSE

He started walking over to u

he was wearing black jeans that were ripped on the knees with black high top converse

and a gray sweater with a black coat over it

HE JUST LOOKED CUTE OK

ur were like OMg []£{€]%[#{%€]£{

n he just Plop

he stood right infront of u basically towering bc u were sitting under the tree

suki noticed the boy and tilted her head like hmmmm???

u had the SMALLEST smile on ur face bc u wanted to seem friendly but not TOO friendly

he had his camera strap over his arm while he held it and his other hand was rubbing the name of his neck

“uh... sorry about that.. i didn’t mean to seem weird or anything!” he waved his hands infront of him to deny it

u just sat there while he talked like ❤️_❤️

“im uh taking photos for my class and i thought u looked nice so i took some pictures.. im really sorry i should’ve asked first now i seem weird or something im really-,”

u cut him off so he didnt ramble any longer

“no its okay! i get it” you gave him a warm smile and pet suki while she drifted to your side and kept her eyes on him

u both just stared at eachother for a few seconds before you spoke

“um.. would you like to sit?” you scooted over and made room for him in the blanket

WOW U WERE FEELING BOLD TODAY...

“uh sure” he set his camera down and sat beside u

“this is suki.. shes my cousins dog” u said when she climbed into his lap and started sniffing him

he grinned and pet her before looking up at you

“im ni-ki by the way” his cheeks turned a bit pink which u thought was cute

“y/n” you smiled

“suki seems to like you” u laughed

“so how long have you been working on this project or whatever?”

“oh um i started last week... i just have to make a portfolio of photos i take and turn it in” he said while keeping his eyes trained on suki

u noticed he didnt make eye contact with u often but u knew it was probably because he was nervous because u do that too

“can i see the pictures...?” u hesitantly ask him

his eyes light up when u say that

“yeah!”

AWE HES SO EXCITED

he picks up his camera next to him and clicks a few buttons

“oh by the way... ive noticed u at the park before! you’re always with the camera” you laugh

“ah yeah, this park is where most of my project photos are taken.”

he leans over and shows you the pictures on the device

“woah” you let out a gasp

he showed u the picture he took of you first

How does a picture look better than real life...

you’ve never really been into photography but now that you’ve seen his work u might just have to start getting into it

“this isnt even done yet, i still have to edit it so it’ll look even more perfect” he shyly says

“this is amazing what the heck” your jaw is Dropped

“thanks”

“i need to see the final result” u said because it was such a nice picture

“um.. if you give me your number i can show you it” he sent you a cheeky grin

SMOOTH.....

he was so AGGGHGGHG ur kind of obsessed

you two exchange numbers and talk about random things for a whole hour until he says he has to go

“it was really nice meeting you.. i had fun” he tells you as he starts standing up

suki is sleeping so he tries not to wake her up

“i had fun too” you smile

“would you like me to walk you to your car?”

A GENTLEMAN !!?!?!?!

“oh yeah, thanks”

you two spend another 2 minutes together as you walk side by side with suki in your arms and he held your blanket and bag for you

you reached your car and thanked him

“ill see you soon, dont forget to text me! and good luck on the project, i know you’ll do great”

“thank you..”

ni-ki’s cheeks turn pink once more before he turns around and starts walking away with a smile on his face

he is just the cutest thing ever

you definitely need to see him again

[incorrect-hunterx-quotes]

Update and story time:

I thought I would pass along an update to you guys. My sickness did not start off great. It started on Monday morning and very rapidly progressed by Tuesday afternoon. I was unable to eat or drink anything for 3 days because my throat was incredibly swollen. I couldnt even swallow my own spit so I would wake up every 5 minutes gagging, so I eventually stopped sleeping.

I went to Urgent Care and they gave me the diagnosis of incredibly Enlarged Tonsils and they gave me antibiotics and steroids to take to treat it. (This was on Tuesday night). The next morning I woke up and I couldn't talk. That is how swollen my throat became. I was no longer able to take my pills because they were too big. I was able to breathe, but it was hard. After a brief consult with a doctor he said to take the steroids immediately and go from there. (The steroids were the size of a literal crumb and it was still a struggle). He also said if it didn't help to go to the ER to get an IV bag because it had already been 2 days without food or water. I spent the rest of Wednesday literally hoping the steroids would kick in and help...they did not.

That night at around 2am I decided I wouldn't sleep because I was scared of gagging every 20 seconds. I spent the next 4hrs just curled in a ball against my desk on the floor spitting in a trashcan and listening to music to keep calm. (I'm am a 25yo male, over 6'3 and decently built, not scared of anything beyond Spiders and Heights, and I was a nervous wreck)

The next morning (Thursday) I heard my mother wake up and I went to her and begged her to take me to the ER. They took me immediately and quickly got me hydrated with an IV bag. Immediately I felt the effect and it was like I just woke up. I had energy, And I actually had color returning to me. I had lost 7/8 lbs at this point because I couldnt eat or drink.

They kept me in the ER the rest of the day and they gave me a 2nd IV bag and different steroids and antibiotics injected directly into my IV line. Within an hour I could speak. It wasnt that my throat was magically opened, but the one word I was able to say on Wednesday had magically became full sentences on Thursday, even if it was really low volume compared to my usual speaking voice.

They took the Big C-test (negative) and a CAT Scan later on, and that's where things got scary (-er). The CAT scan revealed that just beyond the enlarged tonsils was a 4-inch abscess, which would possibly mean surgery to deal with.

While surgery was unclear, I would need to be transferred to a different hospital 20 minutes away where they were better equipped to deal with my situation. I finally arrived at like 3am (Froday morning) and get all checked in. I get the routine blood draw and vitals stuff and then get told to relax while the specialist finished with his other patients. About 4:30am this guy comes in and was like "we're gonna take care of this right now." And I'm like "....what?"

So he was explaining that he could drain part of the abscess and then let antibiotics and steroids do the rest of it. It sounded like a good plan. I was already in better hands and I was on my way back to normal strength. So we agreed.... and that's when I quickly learned to hate this guy.

I warned him I have an incredibly strong gag reflex, and he said it wouldn't be an issue. He'd put lidocaine (a numbing agent) on my throat and tongue and itd be fine (it wasnt).

So now here I am at almost 5am, after being awake for almost 25 hours at this point, lying on my back with a bright light on my face, 2 nurses and the doctor on all sides and not enough nerves in the world to stop from shaking like a chihuahua on a massage chair in an earthquake. And not just little nervous shaking. They were powerful shakes.

It took one touch and my gag reflex was active. I was gagging the entire time. I threw up. I was screaming and crying. I accidentally bit the main doctor guy because he tried to keep my teeth open for the needle (I refused to apologize). I had such powerful shakes that my mother needed to hold my legs. She hasn't seen me this scared in 20 years when I used to have nightmares every night. And that was only after ONE OF THE TWO drains that needed to be done. I wanted to cry more and vomit and die. I couldnt do that again. But he insisted. I asked if there was a different way. There was no way I could be conscious for this again. I already knew I'd have nightmares from that (and I did last night). But he said there wasnt. So the 2 nurses and my mother braced me as I lay on the bench crying, shaking and gagging, with blood spit and pus coming out of my mouth, while this doctor finished the other draining. It was agonizing. I haven't been this scared in over 15 years. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemies. It is like I was in one of those horror movies where a doctor just tortures patients. I wanted to cry and cry.

They soon told me I would be admitted to stay the night and that they would keep me on steroids and antibiotics overnight while they waited for things to improve. I felt asleep after being awake for 28 hours that night. The only thing on my mind was when I would have to drain the rest of the abscess.

When the doctor came in the morning to discuss what was up with the rest of the treatment he basically said "why didnt he put you on morphine or something?" ...I was speechless. So when I brought it up to the next one she said the same thing. As did the next 3... I could've avoided that trauma instead of having to do it like that.

So I ended up not needed to get the remaining abscess drained. The antibiotics and steroids they have had hooked me up to all day has been taking care of it. WITHOUT THE NEED FOR TRAUMA2.0!!! By noon I was drinking water on my own, I was even speaking louder. By 6pm i ate my first solid food since Monday nights dinner (Friday). By 8 I was on the phone with my friends talking like nothing had changed.

So I've been recovering steadily and rapidly. I should be able to leave and go home by tomorrow night. And then I'll be back at 100% shortly after.

I just wanted to thank you guys for all your messages and words of support that I've been getting these last few days, and to take a few minutes to explain what I've been dealing with these last few days. I want to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for everything you've said. Truly, you guys and gals in this community mean the world to me.

Once I'm home I'll take a little time to get settled and we'll keep going as if this little "unplanned vacation' never happened. Take care and much love to everyone!!!

[hellzyeahwebwieldingreviews]

Untold Tales of Spider-Man 08: The Liar – by Ann Nocenti

I enjoyed this story a lot but objectively it’s very mixed.

Peter Parker watches off and on as a spider spends the day making a web. Later he watches as she waits patiently for a moth to be trapped, feeding on it. "How could I have anything in common with her?" Peter thinks. He both admires and shudders at the spider's "round-the-clock surveillance." And the web itself: "Her beautifully constructed home is also a death trap...The spider's elegantly poised web is a lie." Peter jumps up and destroys the web, then feels guilt about it, knowing the spider will just create another. "She can't help it. Lie or die."As Peter starts to leave, he receives a visit from Aunt May. She tells him that Empire State University contacted her because he missed several days of classes. She also asks if he washed something red at her house. Peter was gone for three days, confronting the Red Skull in Algiers and he washed his mask at May's place but he lies to her, telling her the school made a mistake and that the red came from a nosebleed.

At ESU, Ms. O'Grady, Peter's advisor, tells him that she talked to Aunt May about his absences and that May didn't seem to know about that. Peter tells her that May's memory isn't what it used to be. Ms. O'Grady tells him she's sorry to hear that. Peter thinks, "A big one. The two this morning to Aunt May were little enough, but this lie is a big one." Ann elaborates, "The little fibs are like annoying black moths, fluttering at the edges of his consciousness; shadows that flit about and dog his heels, they haunt him when he least expects it. The big ones are like rocks tied to his feet, that he has to drag with him wherever he goes."

Through the course of the day, Peter promises May he'll join her at 4PM to help with groceries and makes a date with Mary Jane over a fudge sundae at 6PM. Now he tells Gwen he'll join her for a 5PM revival showing of her favorite film, "Casablanca." "How," asks Ann, "will he pull this off?"

Not long after lying to his history prof to explain being late for the class, Peter is at the market with May. It is a warm day but he sees a man in the parking lot in a wool cap. Lying to Aunt May about needing to make a phone call, he leaves her in the market and changes to Spider-Man. He re-enters the market just as the thief pulls a gun and tries to rob the place. Spidey easily takes care of him. The store manager gratefully offers him "a cart of food, on the house." Spidey takes a look at May and says, "Hey, I just ate. But it looks like this poor woman got the worst fright. Maybe you could take care of her?" Which makes him look like an altruist when he's actually just helping out his relative. Back home, Aunt May tells the story to Peter for the third time. Peter notes that the story never changes. She tells it straight, never embellishing. She is grateful to Spider-Man but notes that his manners are terrible. "I just wanted to thank him properly. But he just turned his back on me!" When Peter tells her he has to meet Gwen at the movies, she comments that she thought he was meeting Mary Jane. "Oh yeah. Did I say Gwen? I meant Mary Jane," says Pete as the lies mount up.

At Casablanca, Pete enjoys sitting next to Gwen. "She's like a warm bed you don't want to get out of in the morning," he thinks. But he still needs to meet Mary Jane. So, telling Gwen he has to go to the bathroom, he slips away. He joins MJ for ice cream during which she almost lets her "party mask" slip when she refers to her repressive father. Peter notices a large bird in the sky and realizes it is the Vulture. Coming up with yet another ridiculous lie ("I promised this guy, I'd help him move his birds...he's got a pet shop, and he's got a big delivery of birds.") Peter promises MJ he'll be back in 20 minutes. MJ doesn't seem to mind. In fact, Peter thinks that she is acting as if she expected this. But he doesn't think about it long. He has to change into his Spidey duds and tackle the Vulture. 

Unfortunately, the Vulture has recruited four partners and provided them with wings. The five Vultures beat him up, carry him into the air and drop him over the river, too far away from any buildings on which Spidey can web-swing. As he falls, he realizes his identity will be revealed after his death. "They'll all know what a liar I was. A lowlife fibster with a devil's tongue. A mendacious arachnid. A lousy deceitful cock-and-bull jerk. A two-faced stinker." Then he passes out.

While unconscious, he dreams about his Mom and Dad, telling him conflicting stories about their impending trip; the trip that leads to their deaths. "I was three years old when I noticed the first little lies," he thinks, "By the time I was six, nothing quite added up...All those lies. I guess they thought they were protecting me. Benevolent lying. I know all about it."He awakens seventeen feet above the water. There is a tug boat right below him and he webs the smokestack, saving himself, ending up in the river, then climbing up onto the tug. The tug's captain, Gallager, tells him he saw him falling and swung around to help. As they sail back to port, Spidey notices how capable Gallager is and he envies his straightforward life. "What do you think of liars?" Spidey asks him. Gallager replies that it depends on what kind of lying, adding that he lies all day. "Every time I give an order," he says, "it's to save the ship but risk the man. ..They trust me and I send them to risk death with every command...Well then, a few lies along the way aren't really lies, are they? Not if you bring all your men home alive." Spidey thinks about this as Gallager docks his tug.

He gets back to MJ who asks him if he had a nice swim. "What swim?" he asks, then he notices that his bookbag, containing his costume, has created a puddle on the ground. MJ, playing along, kicks at the puddle and says, "Rained while you were gone."From there, Pete returns to the movies, tells Gwen he couldn't find their seats in the dark and watched the rest of the movie from the back. "What a perfect ending," Gwen says. "Yeah," Peter replies, "I love happy endings." "Gwen looks at him queerly, then smiles. They walk on silently for a while. Soon, it begins to rain."

Let me say up top, this is the best Spider-Man story of Ann Nocenti’s career.

This is owed to the prose, dialogue and over all narrative being fairly straightforward and not told as through you’d skipped a beat. Everyone sounds like a normal person ( for a super hero story) and there are no weird lines making you ask ‘who talks like this?’

I should also point out the subject matter of this story is something Nocenti has explored in her other Spider work as well as her famous Daredevil run, chiefly through her most enduring creation, Typhoid Mary.

The theme of the story, as the title implies, is lying. Lying is practically systemic in super hero stories as characters maintain their secret identities.

It’s an interesting idea to expand upon that idea and examine the psychological ramifications of lying upon the individual and the impact it might have on their interpersonal relationships. For example could lying about your identity cause you to become a habitual liar about other things? Could this seep into that age old human story of the unfaithful lover?

That’s what Nocenti explored in her Daredevil run when she had Matt Murdock (ironically, or appropriately depending upon your POV, a lawyer and Catholic) cheat on Karen page with Typhoid’s alter ego; she was in fact lying to him at the same time and having an affair with the Kingpin at the same time.

In her ‘Return to Mad Dog Ward’ storyline in the 1990s Peter lied to MJ and Aunt May in such a way that MJ mistakenly believed he was cheating on him and considered running off with someone else.

In an even earlier story she did, a back-up from Web of Spider-Man Annual #2, she had Peter endure a nightmare where he was haunted by the fact he lied all the time.

Personally I think her focus upon the subject, especially in regards to cheating, raises some uncomfortable questions about her personal life, but I’m not interested in that right now.

The problem with all those stories and this one as far as Spidey is concerned is that she…goes way too far.

The fact is lying can and does take a toll on Spidey but it doesn’t open him up to lying as second nature about anything. He lies to protect his identity and anything else he lies about is just what any of us might lie about in the course of our lives. He hasn’t got ‘a problem’. And the idea it’s rooted in his parents being spies is pretty ridiculous and a massive reach.

I think what’s most problematic about this story in regards to the theme is that Peter would absolutely NEVER knowingly cheat on a woman. He’s just not that kind of person and yet here he is on 2 dates with MJ and Gwen at once like it’s a sitcom or Superman IV: the Quest for Peace.

In terms of Spider-Man’s personality and characterization this is just more evidence that Nocenti simply never grasped the character. Which is a shame given how she has written more Spider-Man stories than any female author ever; though Houser might’ve overtaken her by this point.

Her idea that Peter’s ‘problem with lying’ stems from his parents is also kind of contradicted by various stories that establish Peter was just too young to even remember his parents. This in particular includes ASM Annual #5 which she references in this story. I’m not going to hold that against this story too much because honestly no one keeps Peter’s parents consistent.*

Other continuity hiccups include when the annual happens in relation to Peter meeting Captain Stacy and MJ’s job as a go-go dancer.

However, this book has by now long established that these stories are not meant to fit into 616 canon but more a generalized idea of Spidey’s canon. If you try putting this story into strict continuity Peter was firmly interested in Gwen over MJ and the Betty/Veronica choice he had had been resolved for a good while.

This story though is meant more to touch upon the Betty/Veronica aspect of the Romita era and admittedly 2 dates at once seems like a typical Archie story. If you accept this as just a general AU version of Peter and don’t try to compare him to his canon characterization this is a perfectly legitimate idea. By  extension the psychological complexity of this story works if you treat take this story in isolation or in isolation of the anthology as a whole.

Nocenti DOES to her credit explore the theme very well, the scenes with his parents and their lies resonates very well and speaks honestly to childhood hurts.

The hints that MJ knows Peter’s identity and her own family history are done very well. They are subtle, romantic and in fact so good I WISH there was a story that played with the idea. Although it does contradict later stories because Peter clearly suspects MJ is aware of his secret but ignores it.

It’s ironic actually that those scenes ultimately make this more an MJ story than a Gwen/MJ story in spite of that being the point of the narrative.  Nocenti just charcaterizees her very well and even does Gwen a service. She is very much the early days Romita Gwen and there is a wonderful passage comparing the two and likening MJ to the sun and Gwen to the moon. I never thought of that kind of dichotomy but (before she became a water works) it’s a brilliant observation of the two women. She also does a great job of capturing the flirtatious nature of Silver Age MJ.

However, where this story falters (evene when taken unto itself) is in Noenti likening spider webs to ‘lies’ and the scenes on the boat.

For the former she is just over reaching. ‘What a tangled web we weave when we first choose to lie and deceive’. It’s a famous phrase but it isn’t actually saying a spiders web is akin to a lie. It’s saying the ACT of lying is like the ACT of spinning a tangled web. An insect isn’t metaphorically ‘caught in a lie’ when it’s ensnared in a spider’s web.  Yet that’s what Nocenti goes for at the start of the story.

And the stuff on the boat is just…I don’t know what it means. The lies Peter engages in in are simply not comparable to the lies the boat captain engages in. Even if you lean hard on the idea of Peter lying about his identity for the greater good, what has that got to do with lying to MJ and Gwen?

Regardless, I think this story is mostly well told for what it is and I very much enjoyed it in spite of the mischaracterization.

*Personally though I defer to Stan’s stories that state he was too young to remember them.

[lovelyparkers]

hospital prom (hc)

summary: this is like a part two to 'sickly lovely cuddles' bc why not. peter comes to visit you in the hospital on a special day. warnings: FLUFF, hospitals, reader has chronic illness, mentions of ivs/needles

-okay so prom season is around right

-but ur in the hospital again :(

-BUT the hospital is hosting a lil prom type event for the teens who are in the hospital who never get to experience prom (this is speaking from personal experience i have never been to a real school dance bc i'm very ill)

-anyways

-of course you ask peter to come, i mean duh

-and of course he says yes, right away

-you told him all the details on facetime one night

-and his cute ass was SO excited

-not only did he get to see you again but he was ur prom date!!!!

-so on a saturday afternoon at like 1 pm (bc us sick kids can barely function after 6pm if i'm being honest i'm in bed by 7 at the latest everyday)

-there's a rec-room on your floor

-and the nurses and child life specialist have it all decorated and there's snacks and drinks and music and lights

-the whole THING

-you started to get ready early right after getting poked by needles for blood work and having an IV change ew

-and peter did the same

-minus the needles

-he wore uncle ben's old suit

-bc that was the only one he had and getting a suit is EXPENSIVE

-and you wore a black flowing dress

-making sure no tubes or wires would get caught in it

-you also kept on peter's beanie that you stole from him

-you literally rarely take it off bc it reminds you of him and makes you feel safe

-and you like him so much

-but you're afraid he won't like you back bc you're so sick

-but COME ON

-this boy is going to a hospital prom for you, CUDDLES WITH YOU IN A TINY HOSPITAL BED

-and brings you hot cocoa and fake flowers

-he in LOVE love

-and so are you

-peters all smiley on the way up the elevator looking all handsome and dapper

-and he made a corsage out of fake flowers with the help of aunt may for you

-he was so excited because he knew you were excited and he always wanted to take you to a school dance but never could :(

-BUT NOW HE IS

-even if it's in the hospital

-anyways so

-he gets off the elevator and sprints to your room

-almost ran over your friend who's in a wheelchair

-he knew peter well and laughed it off

-peter gets to your room and knocks on the already open door

-meg ur nurse was giving you meds when you saw him

-you totally just ignored the meds and stampeded over to peter giving him a tight hug

- you kept saying "thank u for coming" and "i'm so glad you showed up i was scared"

-and he was like "um of course i showed up"

-deadass almost said "bc i love you"

-rip

-anyways u go back to take ur meds then grab your iv pole and stand on the legs rolling over to peter

-and meg was like "oh hell no get down before you fall"

-YOU GET BORED OKAY

-peter smiles and pulls out the fake corsage and you laugh hysterically

-AND THEN HE JUST

-he just grabs your non-iv infused hand and places it around your wrist so gracefully wtf

-his hands are so warm in this cold hospital

-then he links his arm around yours and you walk to the rec room together

-there's like 3 other kids there

-one of them being the friend peter almost ran over who was over by the pretzel bowl

-you guys just stood there awkwardly for a minute and then peter was like

-"okay lets dance"

-and he pulls you and your iv pole to the center of the room

-meg is taking pictures

-which you'll be sure to thank her later for

-peter places his hands on your waist

-and you place yours on his shoulders

-and it was a little messy at first

-not really knowing what ur doing

-but it's okay bc ur dancing with the love of your life at 'prom' A DREAM

-peter almost gets caught up in your tubes and he blushes apologizing several times

-you start playing with the hair on the back of his head and this boy absolutely LOSES IT

-LOSES IT I TELL YOU

-he's cheesing so hard

-and you do a forehead touch bc that's like romantic maybe

-maybe?

-MAYBE YEAH

-and it's so cute how ur just standing there all cute yeah

-and then he's like

-"ur so cute in my beanie"

-and u say "i'm sorry i sToLe iT"

-"he literally says "keep it. it looks better on you"

-deadass

-deadass.

-what a boy

-what a prom

-u whisper to peter "let's sneak some snacks and go back to my room"

-so you waltz over to the snack table grabbing stuff

-and of course you start rolling to your room unsafely bc that's fun

-peters telling u to stop and laughing just thinking ur the cutest thing ever and he's so in love

-u tell peter to organize the snacks while you change into some pyjamas even tho it's like 3 pm but who cares issa vibe

-and u return and hop in bed with petey

-share some snacks

-watch tv and talk

-and cuddle a lot

-in the end it was a great experience and you love peter parker

-to be continued???

[spideyjlaw]

My Avengers Endgame World Premiere experience

this is really long, lota rambling feel free to read skim anything idc, no spoilers bc this was on Monday before I saw the movie :) 

Ok Ima start Saturday night, this is when I was packing making and painting my posters that said “Thank You Avengers”, I live in California so I didn’t have to fly to this event. At 12am we (my family) we arrive in Los Angeles around 5am. At this time I thought that the premiere was going to be at El Capitan Theatre where it was originally supposed to be. We drive by the theater and we see no one is in line which was weird bc normally there would be people here already so i search and find the location which was switched last min (smh) the drive to the next location wasnt too long but at least i knew i was at the right location bc of the small group of fans and the giant poster that said Avengers Endgame World Premiere. Apparently they changed the location bc they needed a larger screening room and they didnt want tons of fans showing up, there were these girls that were waiting at the El Capitan for 2 hours before they realized something was up. Anyway, we get in line. People who were in charge told the people who stayed over night to go home bc there wasnt going to be a fan area. No one left ofc who would hell no. Then some people went on twitter to talk about it made signs it was confusing but we ended up in a fan area after going through security. We got into the fan area at 12 ish and we had to stand there for another 4 and a half hours before anything exciting happens. Now its around 4pm people are starting to arrive. (THIS IS WHEN THE ACTION STARTS) Benedict Wong then Joe Russo. Not many came all the way down the line, I was the last one on the line before it wrapped around the corner. But I did want to get barricade and able to see action so Im grateful for my spot. Then Anthony Mackie arrives he’s walking to end of the fan area around the small corner but as hes walking right as he gets near me i scream at the top of my lungs, he stops right in front of me and i go “AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!ANTHONYYYYY MACKiE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!” he looks at me biggest smile. We had a whole moment together its hard to explain its kinda like a ‘you had to be there moment’ i was the longest person probably a good 20 seconds (which is a long ass time in these times when they are in a rush) he was at and while im screaming and fangirling he air grabs my head to fucking sign my forehead i closed my eyes and accepted it he didnt do it ofc but he was just a fun guy i love him soooo much he signs my posters while saying “There’s no black guy on here” (i did an original 6 themed avengers poster) but he signed than signed my bosslogic poster which he was in. paul rudd comes by hes just a rocking dude i love scott lang sm, he was so sweets v cool guys sm love for him. Then at around 5pm Chris freaking Hemsworth arrives I loose my shit and so does everyone else. Just like Joe, Benedict Wong & Anthony he also went around the corner to make sure they got all of the fans (thank u to all who did this). Ive loved Hemsie for the longest time, i did get teary eyed but i didnt cry (yet) he was just the sweetest I was able to take a crappy photo with him bc i wasnt able to function properly as i took the pic my dumbass was like “iLOvEyoUsOmUCh” its oka cause he has the cutest smile and the bluest eyes oh and i cant stress enough he smelled so good sooooo good normally i hate when guys coat themselves in cologne cause it smells bad, but his didnt, his smelled so good i was so shook like chris drop what cologne u used idc its for guys mama neeeddds. THEN IT hAPPENEd CHRISTOPHER ROBERT EVANS DRIVES BY. Everyone was like “omg is that chris evans?!”  I stand on the barricade to see if i can catch a peak, istg the moment the fucking moment he gets out the car i start to bawl my eyes out. This man who has meant more to me than anyone is over there i couldnt believe i was seeing my favorite human ever. I’ve only sobbed right as i saw my fave once before back in 2016 at the Passengers premiere when I met Jennifer Lawrence. People dont really understand the moment like this person has inspired me so much of course im going to cry and sure judge me for it but they helped me through so much. Anyway he looked soo hot in his blue suit and sunglasses. I kinda calm down bc i didnt know if he was going to come all the way down the line and yk my ass wanted a pic but he was cut half way though the people which was upsetting but again im extremely grateful to be able to see him. Then my main fucking man. Sebastian Stan arrives. see ive met the guy before last year at ace comic con (there was tea w my photo op being really messy and i hated it i got a refund u can read about that on my ace comic con post). anyway i see him. i dont cry im trying to wipe my tears i was more prepared cause ive seen him before it was gonna be ok. I lose my shit the man was wearing a baby blue pastel colored suit. fucking beautiful. iconic. very hot of you mr seb ty. hes walking down and hes getting close. he wasnt to smiley, he was taking pics but he was focused on the fans signing for as many fans as possible. He gets to me and he sees our pics then he looks u so we could take a pic and his smile just transforms you can just see his face just glow up it was the truly the cutest this ive ever experience. then we look up from the pic and hes smiling at me i tell him “I love you so much” i hear him chuckle but as he says something his security guy yells “thank you that enough” so ill be posting the vid of us and any lip readers can help a girl out ill love you forever. I ended up being Sebs last person from the fan area. he truly made my day, week fucking year. then other celebs such as jon favreau, benedict cumberbatch comes by. Jeremy Renner comes by. I shoot my shot and make small talk w Jeremy. I go “Hi Jermey how’s your day going?” he goes “I’m doing really good, how bout you?” he signs my things i excitingly tell him “I’m doing great thank you” then he goes “Thank you honey” and smiles at me. It made me really happy, i could tell he was a bit tired but Jeremy is such a sweetheart he doesnt get the credit he deserves i love him sm, ive always has a little part of my heart for Hawkeye. minutes go by. I see Lizzie Olsen, Danai Gurira, beautiful ofc. then i see fucking Mark Ruffalo hes just standing behind one of the SUVs and the sun is on him. He looked like a confused puppy it was so cute and soft, i love my ruffalo buffalo. I took my moment to scream “iS THat MARK ruFFALO?” i dont think he signed for many fans. Scarjo arrives she doesnt sign for many either she looked beautiful v pretty. a little while passes than the most bitching car comes by and stops where the cars stop until the drop off area clears and they can go. we all knew who ever was in that car he was important. then it was his time to go cause the drop off area was cleared. guess who was in the drivers seat. You guessed right. Robert Downey Jr rolling up in an Audi E-TRON, with his wife Susan Downey in the passenger seat. Truly the Tony Stark entrance. he doesnt sign for many ofc. at this time it was getting later near 6pm almost all celebs and guests are inside where the actual premiere set up is. then Vin Diesel comes in. He was the most fan based guy. even though he was running late he ran (literally speed walking) through the whole line of fans around the corner and everything. he had the biggest smile on. wearing his groot jacket. and if u dont know fast and furious are one of my fave franchises of all time so i was having the best time. then that was the last person and we started heading out. i didnt name all who ive seen since there was just to many and i probably missed some things but i loved my experience. i was able to see all the original avengers irl and that made me really happy. this whole cast means the world to me. ill love them forever 

[daysswithyou]

V. Sungjin - Bet

Characters: Sungjin x You

Genre: enemies to lovers!6

Warning: some cursing and swearing

Credits: @7abshy and @parkjaeins; for helping me figure out how annoying teachers can be

Words: 5k

Description: There is always more than meets the eye

Author’s note: This wraps up the enemies to lovers!6 series :) I hope you’ve enjoyed all 5 of them! 

-----

I’m late, I’m late, I’m late, shit!

You repeatedly mouthed the words to yourself under your breath as you squeezed past the throng of people crowding the hallways, occasionally throwing an apology across your shoulder if you bumped into someone. Opting to not take the front entrance into the lecture hall, you ran up flights of stairs to reach the back entrance. By the time you reached the top, you were gasping for breath, your thighs were burning and you could feel the first beads of sweat roll down your back. Slipping through the crack of the heavy wooden door, you settled into the closest empty seat, trying to steady your breathing as your pants became too loud within the enclosed space.

Deep breaths Y/N, deep breaths...

You internally heaved a sigh of relief when you saw the empty podium in front, glad that your professor for this class will not have a bad impression of you.

But your relief was short-lived as the booming voice right next to you soon commanded for attention.

“Alright let’s get started, now that the last student is here.”

As he walks down the flight of stairs to reach the podium, it gives you enough time to observe the authoritative figure. His black leather jacket and ripped black jeans made him look exceptionally tough, and you swore you saw some male students flinch when he walked past them. His hair, which was the colour of warm chocolate, was too long and brushed against his eyelids.

He looks like a model that has just stepped out of a Harley Davidson advertisement.

But you mentally berated yourself for the inappropriate thought, and proceeded to haul it out of the window.

When he stepped onto the podium, he surveyed the whole room before starting again.

 “Good morning. My name is Park Sungjin and I’ll be your TA for this semester and for this class.”

 Ah, so this was the legendary Park Sungjin that you had heard so much about during your first semester. He was famous for being the top student of the graduating batch, with an impeccable portfolio to match. Apparently, he’s so good to the point that many companies and graduate schools have offered him a place amongst them. But, he is also notorious for being a tough TA and everyone’s advice was to just stay away from his bad side if you ever had the fortune (or misfortune) of being in his classes.

All you wanted was to pass this class peacefully so you made it your goal to not cross the line.

However, when he opens his mouth to give the next set of instructions, you knew that you were already on the wrong side of the line.

“So now, if you’re ready Ms Y/N, I’ll begin with the introduction on the topic.” Giving you one last hard glance, he turned to face the screen. Everyone else was furiously copying down notes, but not you.

He said my name, he knows who I am. I’ve been singled out.

It felt like someone had just passed you the death sentence.

-

A week passed by uneventfully and you tried your best to not attract attention to yourself in class. You were on time, and you were attentive in class. You never gave Sungjin trouble – or Mr Park, as you know him by now. Yet, such tactics did not work on him. You knew that you had his full attention when he stares at you from the front as he is giving lectures, even if you’re sitting in a last row. He’ll always linger a little longer behind you as write answers to the mini quizzes in class. You made the mistake of looking up at him once, and you nearly combusted under his hard gaze. What’s worse is that you can’t decide if he approves or disapproves of your work. Perhaps that was the most agonising part.

Today was no different. After handing up your papers for the quiz to the front, you attempted to slip away with the crowd but you just couldn’t slip past Park Sungjin’s attention.

“Y/N, could I have a word with you?”

You halted in your steps, his monotone voice sending chills down your spine.

Why me…

Squeezing your eyes shut and taking in a shaky breath, you turned around to face him before walking in his direction. Your steps were a little too hesitant and you were obviously clutching onto your bag too tightly because this was the first thing that Sungjin said when you finally stood in front of him.

“You can loosen your grip on your bag strap, your knuckles are turning white.”

“O-o-oh. It’s a habit, sorry.”

“What time do your lessons end today, Y/N?”

“6pm. My last lesson is Introduction to Psychology.”

“Good. Meet me at Conference Room 2 of the Social Sciences block, 6.30pm sharp.”

“Yes. Anything else…?”

“That’s all. You may go now.”

Giving Sungjin a curt bow, you scurried out of the lecture hall as fast as you could, dreading the time when you had to see him again.

 6.30pm came too early for your liking, and you soon found yourself face to face with Sungjin once more. A thick stack of papers were sitting by the corner of the table beside him and you knew immediately.

“I’m here to grade papers?”

“More or less; I’ll be giving the final grade and you can help me critique.”

You simply nodded before assuming the seat in front of him.

The next time you looked up, your neck popped up with a loud crack and the clock read 12am. Sungjin kept you thoroughly occupied for the past few hours, papers being presented to you in a systematic manner. You’ve said more words to him a few hours than you’ve said to all your professors combined last semester. While disguised as ‘extra exposure’ for you, deep down you knew that this was Sungjin’s special torture method – and you finally understood what others meant by getting on his bad side.

But the torture didn’t end there.

“Y/N, don’t forget that we have an assignment due the next day. Oh, and don’t be late. See you tomorrow.”

Everything sounds really innocent but you knew what Sungjin really meant was “Don’t mess up tomorrow Y/N.”

You wanted to let out a sigh of frustration but instead you swallowed it and merely replied with a spritely “Yes” before leaving the office.

 -

And this went on for months. Every single time Sungjin gave your class a quiz, you would find yourself in the conference room with him grading papers; sometimes at the expense of your own work. It gradually extended to grading papers from his other classes, but never once did you complain. You knew better than to argue with teachers, much less Sungjin. Every time he looks at you, your words die in your throat; how on earth were you supposed to hold an argument with him? But, of course, when you were back in the comfort of your dorm, which was when you were cursing and swearing at him. At one point in time, your roommate almost called an exorcist, thoroughly freaked out by the way you were flaying your limbs in the air as you continued screaming in frustration.

Needless to say, the late nights left with less sleep, and little energy to pay attention. You were up till 4am last night (or should you say morning), rushing out assignments due today for 2 different classes. You had burst into Sungjin’s lecture hall a good 20 minutes late but in your state, you didn’t care anymore. As usual, you settled into the closest seat you could find, one hand combing through the tangles in your hair, the other rummaging through your bag for your lesson materials. But you were so thoroughly exhausted that you fell asleep 10 minutes later, you pen stopping midway across your paper.

The next time you regain consciousness was when Sungjin’s voice calling your name rang through the speakers.

“So, Ms Y/N, what do you think of the question I just raised?”

You awoke with a start and you scattered your stationary across the floor in the process. You could hear the whole hall snickering at your blunder; save for the few kids sitting around you that helped you pick up your stray pens.

What was the question even? That was the most urgent question for you to answer. You shot a hard look at Sungjin, one that said, “How dare you call me when I’m in this state because of YOU.”

You were sure that he understood your gaze, but he merely raised an eyebrow, as he always did. It was the one that you recognised as “Go on, I’m waiting for your answer.” You knew that there was no way out of this except to answer his question. Panicking, you stared at the last word you wrote in your notebook before rattling off.

“The most famous poem from the Old English period, widely recognised by most is Beowulf. And for – ”

“Oh Ms Y/N, I didn’t know that Scandinavians spoke Old English in the late 10th century. Clearly, someone needs to keep her eyes and ears open. Also, I asked for your opinion, not of those from the 10th century.”

From beneath his long locks, Sungjin gave you a mischievous glint and smirked at you as the entire hall erupted into raucous laughter. Everyone was laughing, except you. Everyone found this funny, except you. Everyone was in a good mood, but you were livid.

How.fucking.dare.you.Park.fucking.Sungjin. I’m suffering in class now because of all your stupid “extra exposure” work after school. Yet you purposely picked on me to answer your question, knowing full well that I can’t. Why do you like picking on me so much? Why do you like embarrassing me in class so much? WHY PARK SUNGJIN!!!

You might have felt better if you actually said it out loud, but you didn’t. You just kept repeating this thought to yourself like a mantra until the end of the lesson.

It’s ok Y/N, just another 30mins of sitting in this hall and looking at his face. Afterwards you can leave and get yourself some ice cream to make yourself feel better. Yes, that’s right… everything is going to be ok Y/N...

But that day, things were not ok and you left the hall in a foul mood. For the final project of the year, you were paired up with Song Jihyo, the girl in class that was notorious for not doing her work.

Its official, Park Sungjin hates me and wants me to burn in Hell. That day, your whole body ached at the thought of more late nights and instead of eating your ice cream, you remembered hurling it at an innocent, nearby tree.

-

Everything that you thought would happen did happen. It’s as the saying goes, “Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.” And in this case, you were helpless against its happening. The only time that you talked to Jihyo was deciding on the thesis and after that, she was virtually uncontactable. You eventually gave up trying to arrange a time to meet to do up the thesis; you merely assigned her parts – which, to be fair, she did do. But they were of such poor quality you ended up deleting most of it and redoing it yourself. But no matter how hard you tried, nothing seemed fresh and you decided to bite the bullet and ask for help.

Lucky for you, Mr Kim was in class today and you immediately ran to him for help.

“Good morning Mr Kim. I have some questions about the final project thesis, is it alright if I ask a few questions?”

“Ah Y/N aren’t you? I’ve heard so much about you from Sungjin! I’ll be glad to help, let me take a look.”

Eagerly, you showed him what you had done so far and when he smiled, you felt a small smile creep onto your face, silently happy that you had gained his approval. But soon, the smile was wiped off your face.

“First of all, an excellent thesis choice, I must say. I remember Sungjin doing something similar for my class 3 years ago, why don’t you ask him for help? He is in a better position to help than I am.”

“Yes sir, I’ll ask Sung- I mean, Mr Park. Yes, I’ll ask Mr Park for advice. Thank you.”

With a light pat on your shoulder, he left you alone and when you turned, you found Park Sungjin standing right in front of you.

“I heard you need help?”

“Yes...” You hated it; you hated having to admit that you needed help from Park Sungjin.

“Hand it over.”

Reluctantly, you passed him your phone and turned to the side, not wanting to see his face further.

When he finally passed back the phone to you, you didn’t feel any more enlightened.

“You can do better than this.”

“What do you mean? That isn’t helpful!”

“That’s all I have to say. You know what to do, so do it.”

“I don’t! I don’t know what to do, which is why I’m asking for help!”

“Then sit down and figure it out.”

So that’s how it’s going to be – you won’t give me a consultation when I need it the most. Fine.

But that was not what you said. You said this instead, “Ok, I’ll figure it out.”

From then onwards, without help from anyone, you trudged through the group thesis yourself. This was on top of the individual thesis that each of you had to prepare for. You were literally typing so much (or rather, punching) your keyboard so hard that one of the keys fell out and you had to send your laptop for repairs. Not only was school draining your sanity, it was also draining your money. Due to the delay in repairing your laptop, you were left with a week to finish half of your thesis.

The outcome: later nights and heavier eye bags. By now, you were too tired to curse and swear at Sungjin for the terrible grouping since it was already taking insane willpower from you to even show up in class. You merely bottled up your indignation, and kept working to avoid thinking about it. After placing the stack of papers in Sungjin’s letter tray, you went back to your dorm and crashed for 12 hours straight.

This signalled the start of your 1 week break, and one week of not seeing Park Sungjin.

Thank goodness.

-

The next time you saw Park Sungjin, you were glad that it was the last time that you would have to see him. After all the torture he had put you through for the past semester, you were glad that you’ll be done with him now.

Yet, as always, Park Sungjin manages to make your life a living hell till the end.

Group Thesis: C

Individual Thesis: E

Overall: D

Comments for Individual Thesis: Clear presentation of key ideas and mostly factually correct. Choice of thesis could be better.

Signed: Park Sungjin

Choice of thesis could be better. Park Sungjin failed me, just because he didn’t like my topic.

You were brought out from your shock by a large shove from behind. Whipping around, you found a smiley Jihyo in front of you and her next words made you want to punch her in her perfect little teeth.

“Thank you for helping me pass the class Y/N! How much did you get?”

Without your consent, she ripped your papers from your hands before handing them back to you with a frown.

“That’s odd; we had the same choice of individual thesis, why did you do worse?” But Jihyo had no time to contemplate on the answer to her question when she was dragged away by her friends to celebrate their good grades.

I can tolerate everything that Park Sungjin has put me through, but not this.

Running up to Sungjin, you stopped him from leaving before asking to see him.

“Do you have time now?”

“Yes. What is this about?”

“This is about my thesis, can we talk somewhere else?”

“Conference Room 2 of the Social Sciences building in 10 minutes, I need to talk to Mr Kim first.”

“Ok.”

You were going to clear this once and for all.

-

“So, what is it about your thesis, Y/N?”

“You failed me just because you didn’t like my topic, didn’t you?”

You’ve rehearsed this part many times in your head and this wasn’t how it was supposed to sound like. It was supposed to sound polite and less accusatory, but fuck that. You wanted answers, and if you had to demand it from him, you will.

“Yes, I did. What’s the issue with it?”

“It’s not fair.”

“Nothing is fair in this world Y/N; I thought you’d know that by now.”

“Yes, I do know that. But what you’re doing is not only unfair, but also downright discriminatory.”

“How so?”

“Jihyo told me that we both had the same choice of thesis, and I got and E and she got a B. My grades are clearly a personal attack against my character. You never liked me from the start, I get it. But it’s wrong to simply disregard my entire thesis because you didn’t like the topic! What is wrong with this topic? It’s within the list of topics that you’ve given us, I met the word count, I met deadlines. I did everything!”

“And I’m supposed to give you a A for that?”

"I’m not saying you have to give me an A for it. I'm just trying to prove the fact that – " "A fact is already a fact, you don't have to prove it." "God damn it Sungjin! Would you just lay off me for a second? Would it kill for you to not correct my grammar for once? Would it kill you to not pick on me for one second?" "It's Mr Park, for you. It still is. And no, I won't lay off your grammar – you are an English language major that has taken my class, there is no way that I'm allowing you to continue to speak with bad grammar." "I hate you." "That can technically count as swearing at a teacher. Are you testing my patience?" "No. I'm just saying that it's not fair for you to give me a bad grade just because you did not like my choice of thesis. That's just being biased." "I'm not changing your grade." "I can't fail this module Sungjin! I need to pass this module to go for the Advanced English module. Yes, it's not a perfect thesis but I don't deserve to fail for this!" "Welcome to the real world Y/N." "I hate you Sungjin. I really fucking do." You pick up your bag and slam the door on your way out. That night, for the first time, you cried. And you hated the fact that you were crying over stupid Park Sungjin.

-

The next day, you awoke with puffy eyes but nonetheless, you showed up for lessons. You nearly bumped into Sungjin on your way to Psychology but you immediately detoured. You couldn’t get close to him – you might just punch him and be charged for assaulting a teacher.

That evening, you had just ended lessons when your phone buzzed and Sungjin’s name lit up on your screen.

Mr Park: You have another chance to redo your thesis and not fail the class. Deadline is January 20th, 2 weeks from now. Papers in my tray at 6pm sharp; don’t be late for the submission.

You swiped his notification away quickly, but you remembered the words and that night, you began sourcing for more ideas for your individual thesis.

For the next 3 days, Sungjin just wouldn’t leave you alone. Your phone buzzed with his name every now and then, and he was so distracting that you nearly wanted to block his number.

Mr Park: Are you going to resubmit your thesis?

Mr Park: Have you chosen a thesis yet?

Mr Park: What is your choice of thesis? How many words in?

Mr Park: Do you need help? Just drop me a message; I can help you check your thesis.

Help me with my thesis? Is he playing saint now? As if I’m going to accept help from him.

As you turned your attention back to your screen, you found that a shadow has fallen in front of your laptop. You found yourself staring at a pair of familiar, battered, black Converse and looking up only confirmed your suspicions. The man was here in person – Park Sungjin.

“Why aren’t you replying my messages?”

Why must I hold myself accountable to you? Buzz off.

You continued typing, completely ignoring Sungjin. You heard him sigh before inviting himself to sit in front of you.

“Y/N, what is your thesis? Hey, answer me. I came all the way down here to find you.”

“You came here voluntarily, I didn’t ask for your help. You can leave.”

“You’re still angry at me?”

Of course I am, you asshole. You’re just asking the obvious.

With each thought, you punched the keys on your keyboard harder.

“Stop typing so hard, you’ll spoil your keyboard. Working in spite is not going to produce quality work Y/N.”

Without your consent, he lifted your laptop into the air and onto his lap and scrolled through your entire document for 15 minutes. Passing it back to you with a smile, you stared at him in shock for 5 minutes.

Park Sungjin never smiles; did he just smile at me?

“You did it.”

“What did I do?”

“You figured it out. This was the choice of thesis I wanted you to choose in the very first place. Furthermore, you’ve chosen the correct area to focus on.”

“Thank you… I thought…”

“What did you think about?”

“I thought I might not be on the right track. But your words makes me feel a little more reassured now.”

“Well, I’ll leave you alone now.”

Park Sungjin then took his leave, but he was lying when he said he’ll leave you alone. He never did. Till the submission deadline, he visited you every alternate day.

As expected, you got an A for your individual thesis.

-

When you got an email from Mr Kim saying that he wanted to meet you, you thought you were doomed; most likely a disciplinary case on your head after what you said to Sungjin. But turns out, it was an interview for the Advanced English course, and they passed you immediately. When you walked out of the room still stunned that that you had entered the course of your choice, you found Sungjin waiting outside for you, almost like he knew you were going to be there.

“They passed you didn’t they?”

“Huh?”

Hearing his voice reminded you of what Mr.Kim said to you just now:

“We’ve received high commendations of you, Ms Y/N. All the professors pushed for your recommendation into the course, and Sungjin, especially. He was the first one to mention offering you a place in the course. He spoke of your remarkable working attitude.”

“May I ask something?”

“Yes, anything at all.”

“What exactly did Mr Park say about me?”

“He mentioned that you work well even under immense stress and long hours, catching up really fast even if you fell behind. But, most importantly, he spoke of your willingness to try again after failure. That is the most important quality that we are looking out for: tenacity. We have no doubt that you’ll be a suitable candidate to enter this demanding course. We would love to offer you a place, should you choose to accept.”

“I would love to, thank you. Thank you to the faculty and professors for having me.”

Sungjin hates me, why would be recommend me for the course?

“Follow me.”

Taking him by the wrist, you dragged Sungjin all the way to the bridge in the school park before letting him go.

“What’s with the rush, Y/N?”

Hands on your hips, you turned to face Sungjin with wide eyes, your lips set firmly in a thin line.

“I don’t understand you Sungjin. First, you torture me in lessons by making me so many extra work and now you’re putting in good words for me and recommending me for my dream course? Did you suddenly decide that you like me more now overnight?”

“Ah, so they told you everything I said. Mr Kim promised to not tell, I should have known he wouldn’t keep to it.”

“You’re still not answering my questions.”

“I’m getting there. First of all, that extra work was not torture, they were a test. I loaded you with many things to see how much you can handle before you snapped but thankfully and luckily for me, you never did.”

“I did silently curse and swear at you.”

“That is a given. But you didn’t say it out loud, so it doesn’t count. You’ve proven to – ”

“To be able to work well under immense pressure and long hours.”

“Yes. That is an important quality for taking any Advanced courses. I took the same course with the same professors that you’ll be having so I know how intense it was. I had to put you under pressure to see if my bet was correct.”

“I was your bet?”

“Yes, I was betting on you all along. You have great potential.”

“Thank you.”

“Oh? I thought someone hated me before.”

“Like you said, that was before. I don’t anymore. What you put me through was tough, but they did teach me more about myself and my limits. So, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now that I’ve managed to help you get a place in your course, I think it’s time to return the favour?”

“What’s your proposal?”

“Come to my graduation ceremony next spring. It’s in April.”

“Ok. That’s all?”

“That’s all for now.”

But when a soft smile lights up Sungjin’s face, you knew there was more in store for the both of you in time to come.

-

April 20th

You had come early to get front row seats and as you watch Sungjin give a speech representing the graduating batch, your heart swells with pride. You’ve seen him work very hard for the past one semester and to see him being handed his graduation certificate made you feel like all his efforts paid off.

You were the last to greet Sungjin because there was simply too many people crowding around him. You watch from afar and you giggle when you see Sungjin frantically asking Kang Younghyun if he’s seen you around. He does this thing where his eyes grow big like saucers, so big that you thought they were going to pop out of their sockets. You could also hear the fear in his voice – he speaks a little faster and slips into the Busan dialect. So when you greet him by gently tapping him on the shoulder, he whips around so fast the wind nearly knocked you over. But when you see his facial expression melt from one of worry into one of happiness, you nearly melt into a puddle there and then. You’d given anything to see those sparkly eyes and sweet smile.

“Ah finally you’re here Y/N! I saw you in the front row just now but then afterwards I didn’t so I was worried that you left but I haven’t got a photo with you yet. I was so sad  because I haven’t asked you my question yet – ”

“Calm down Sungjin! I’m here now right? Also, happy graduation! I got this for you.”

Proudly, you hold up the bear plushie you had custom made for him, decked out in the exact same graduation gown that he had on right now.

“It looks like you, right? I named him Bang!”

“Why Bang?”

“Because you always say goodbye in a very cute manner and Bang seems like a cute name to capture that cuteness. Also, I gave him eyelashes! When you observe the details, he really looks like you right?”

When Sungjin finally notices the eyelashes, he bursts out laughing and you swore your heart nearly stopped. When he finally stopped laughing and took over the bear from you, he finally remembered the question he wanted to ask you.

“Y/N- ah…”

“Yes?”

“If I ask you out…will you say yes?”

Just to tease him a little, you decided to look up at the sky, and contemplate your answer for a little while.

“I don’t know…maybe?”

“You can’t do this to me! I waited so long to ask you this question!”

“Why did you wait so long then?”

“I had to wait till I graduated. It wouldn’t be right for a teacher to ask his student out right?”

“That’s true…but I still don’t know if I’d go out with you. How about we make a bet?”

“With what?”

“With a coin. You flip a coin and I’ll decide. Which side are you confident of getting?”

“Heads, I always flip a head.”

“Ok, go ahead then. Heads for I’ll go out with Park Sungjin and tails for…”

With utmost concentration, Sungjin flips the coin and slams his palm over it when it lands. Opening his palm, his face immediately becomes crestfallen: staring back at him was a tail.

But you haven’t finished your sentence yet.

“Tails for…I’ll still go out with you anyways!” you said, as you gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Really? You would?”

“Ask any more questions and I’ll reconsider.”

“Ok, ok I won’t ask any more questions! What do you want to eat?”

“Fried chicken!”

“Oh, I was betting that you’ll say fried chicken!”

“Betting on fried chicken is great Park Sungjin, but I'm betting on something else now.”

Sungjin turns to look at you and he says, "So, what are you betting on now?"

"I'm betting that you'll give me a kiss."

"Really? How are you so sure?"

"I know you Park Sungjin, I know you'll do it. So, am I getting a kiss or not?" 

Without another word, Sungjin closes the space between the both of you, so close that if either moved, your lips would touch. You closed your eyes and waited for the impact, but instead you felt something soft press into your forehead and you immediately smiled. 

"Not where I was expecting, but ok Sungjin."

"I'm saving the best for the last."

"I'm holding you accountable for that statement."

"You can bet your life on it that I'll fulfill it."

Not only was he your best bet, he was your favourite bet too.

[felixsaussieaccent]

To All The (Stray) Kids I’ve Loved Before | i

Member: Jeongin/I.N

 ii  iii  iv  v  vi  vii  viii  ix

I was colouring in my colouring book and decided to start colouring with a red crayon. A guy next to me looked at me as I was looking for the crayon and being confused because I couldn’t find it. He tapped my shoulder and I turned my head towards him.

“Are you looking for this?”

He asked as he showed the red crayon I was looking for, in his hand. I nodded as he handed it to me with a smile. “Thank you!” I said, smiling back at him “I’m Jeongin” he said, sticking his arm out, excitedly. “Hi! I’m Y/N!” I introduced myself after shaking his hand.

We became really good friends from that day forward and as time went by, we became better friends. He would constantly come over for play dates and I’m 100% sure my parents love him more than they love me. I would also go to his house for play dates where his mom would always give us snacks and chocolate milk. She was always so nice to me and I saw her so often, she was like my second mother.

When me and Jeongin were starting school, we unfortunately didn’t go to the same school, which meant we had sleepovers on the weekends and went to a cat cafe after school as much as possible. We were at that cat cafe so often, that the owner would start giving us discounts on certain drinks that we always ordered. The cats were really friendly with us as well as they kept seeing us almost all the time.

Till this day, Jeongin remains as one of my best friends. He’s always there for me, some times he doesn’t really understand what I’m going through but he’s very thoughtful and an amazing listener, and an even better cuddle buddy. He also always supports me and hypes me up, no matter what I do or how I do it. He’s been there for basically my whole life and I can’t begin to explain how grateful I am for him.

At times, he would let himself into my house and bring snacks and binge eat them with me as we watched movies on days I felt like I didn’t wanna see anyone, except him of course. We didn’t live too far away from each other either, allowing us to see each other whenever we wanted.

Today I was walking to the cat cafe when I got a text from Jeongin

Desert Fox 🖍❤️

I have lots of homework to do, can we meet up later? :(

Me

Sure! Do you wanna go to the grocery store near the park and go play on the swings?

Desert Fox 🖍❤️

Sounds like a plan :D

I went home and changed from my uniform into my regular clothes. I did some school work and then watched some videos on YouTube before getting a call from Jeongin at about 6pm, saying he’s in front of my house. I grabbed my stuff and quickly made my way to the door.

I opened the door, only to be greeted by Jeongin, with a devilish smile on his face and his hands behind his back, leaving me confused. “Why do you look like I should be scared?” I asked jokingly as he giggled. “This is for you!” He yelled, shoving a red gift bag into my face.

My eyes widened from shock as I took the bag and opened it to see a box of crayons, all filled with shades of red and a letter. “Happy Friendaversary!” Jeongin yelled as my eyes widened again. “Oh my god! I totally forgot! Now I feel bad for not getting you anything...” I said, the guilt in my voice intense.

“You’re enough of a present” Jeongin said smiling, making me blush. “But dont read the letter until we get back and you’re alone!” He added, seriously “A bit weird but ok...wait were you actually doing homework or writing this? ” I asked “And since when is homework a thing I do?” He answered as I laughed and we walked to the convenience store near our houses.

“Y/N! Can we get chocolate milk?! I haven’t had it in years!” Jeongin asked cutely “You drank like 3 servings at the cat cafe two days ago!” I reminded him, laughing “YEARS!” He yelled, taking 3 chocolate milks and walking into the snack isle. “We’re getting these chips, you can’t say no.” He said taking a bag of chips as I laugh at his cuteness.

“Ice cream?” I asked, pointing at the pints of ice cream. “Yes!” He yelled cutely as we bought a pint and two spoons. We made our way to the cashier and paid before heading to the park, where we ate the chips and ice cream.

“First one to the swings gets the extra chocolate milk!” He yelled as we both sprinted to the swings. We both got there at about the same time, but we still argued, not giving up on the chocolate milk. “I was here first!” “No I was!” “Half half?” I asked as he hesitated before nodding.

“How’s school?” I asked “The same...Chenle was talking about something that made me think.” Jeongin answered “Don’t over do it tho, doing something for the first time can be tough” I joked as he jokingly slapped my arm “and what did your classmate talk about?” I asked “Two of his friends, who were friends for a long time confessed to each other and are now dating...isn’t that weird? Like you’re friends with someone for so long and then you just...start dating?” He replied, confused.

My first thought was why did he bring this up? Did Jeongin just casually mention this because it was o his mind or did he actually mean to tell me something by saying this? Questions started forming in my head. The loudest one being “does Jeongin like me?”, which was soon followed by “do I like Jeongin?” After a few seconds. I’m not gonna lie, he’s very attractive, funny, nice, he’s there for me, he takes care of me, he’s cute,...I wouldn’t be surprised if someone were to fall for him.

My thoughts soon were shut down by Jeongin waving his hand in front of my face. “Sorry, what were you saying?” I asked “Do you think it’s weird if you like your friend?” He asked “I don’t know.” I replied “Oh god, I really want that chocolate milk now!” I said, changing the subject “We can drink it on our way home, it’s near my curfew” Jeongin said as I nodded. We took our stuff and walked home.

“Good night, don’t forget to read the letter!” Jeongin yelled as I walked to my door “I won’t and good night to you too!” I yelled back, smiling before opening the door and walking to my room. I got ready for bed and eyed the gift bag. I finally got up and took the letter out and read it.

Dear Y/N,

We have been friends for almost all of our lives. I’m so happy to have you in my life, you’re one of my best friends and I never want it our friendship to end! You make me feel happier just by existing and your existence itself is absolutely amazing.....

From your favourite Desert Fox, Jeongin

XOXO

The letter was about 2 pages long and had his cologne on it. It made me almost burst into tears. I was catching feelings for one of my best friends and I needed to tell anyone, but I couldn’t. So I thought about it for about 15 minutes before looking back at the letter and getting an idea.

I got out an old gift box and took some envelope, papers and a pen and started writing.

Dear Jeongin,

.....

A/N: I didn’t proof read this so if there are my mistakes, I apologize 😂😅 and it’s hella short, sorry abt that too lol but pls don’t let this flop

[rainbowguardassemble]

Here is a good Meta on Renly just messaging you because it wasn't tagged - joannalannister(.)tumblr(.) com/post/182019038016/renly-baratheon-seems-like-a-rather-sad-figure-to

First of all, it’s a post I and a lot of my fellow mods on the blog hadn’t seen before, so thank you for bringing it to our attention - new Renly content is after all what we’re here for, and we welcome all sorts of creations from fans everywhere!

Secondly, hi! Mod Felix - bpdrenly - responding here with a few thoughts on the post you’ve recommended. Obviously I am responding with my own thoughts and opinions only, and I welcome input not only from my fellow mods but also followers of the rainbowguardassemble blog and fans everywhere. (Please keep us company! It can be so lonely in this little corner of the internet!)

A quick disclaimer however: whilst I am in no way attacking OP for the post, I have to admit that the disclaimer at the start of the post about ‘Yes, I know he’s x, y and z ‘bad things’’ doesn’t sit all that well with me. Having empathy, or even just sympathy, for someone - fictional or not - doesn’t require a disclaimer. Own those feelings! It’s okay! And let’s be honest, especially when next to people like Tywin, Ramsay, the Mountain, etc... Renly is not a bad person.

Renly’s a fascinating character, and the point OP has raised about how the relationship between he and Stannis must have been influenced by and has evolved since the Siege of Storm’s End is an interesting one. I personally have given a lot of thought to Renly’s childhood and young years, especially because we are given very little detail about it in the canon and never from the horse’s mouth, so to speak, as Renly is not a pov character. The description of him as starved for attention, starved for love is particularly striking and, i think, apt.  Renly’s behaviour in the ASOIAF canon i think does demonstrate this point beautifully. Maester Cressen’s anecdote from the ACOK prologue, ‘the bold little boy with wild black hair and laughing green eyes was a man grown now […] ‘look at me, i’m a king”, portrays him as a small child who acts out imaginatively to get that attention.

I work with children, and although I’m not by any stretch of the imagination a child psychologist or an expert on kids’ behaviour and the hows and whys, I can speak from experience to say that when children say ‘look at me, look at me’ enough for it to be an abiding memory you have of them… they are starving for attention. I look after a little boy (K) who constantly shows you what he’s doing, asks you to come and play with him, wants to know what you’re up to and can he join in and is it okay if he…? and it’s because he’s in every single day of the working week, from 10am to 6pm, and he just doesn’t get that attention at home. I’ve seen him present pictures he’s spent a lot of time and effort on to his mother only to have her glance at, outright refuse to look at, or even deposit them in the recycling outside the nursery. Children need validation, affection and support from parental and familial figures in their lives, and when they don’t get it, they search for it everywhere else they possibly can. Which, yes, is actually very sad to see. I love K to distraction, but the lack of attention he gets at home means he also acts out at nursery and isn’t as socially adept as his peers - which again, I think probably strikes true for Renly as well. He’s a pro at affecting masks and hiding his true feelings, which can make him come across as callous and unfeeling - perhaps the reason for OP having described him as ‘a dick’.

I’m not saying Renly is a saint. There are definite negative aspects to his character, including the level of attention-seeking he goes to. Stannis is correct when he says that he has the stronger claim to the throne, being the next eldest son of the current ruling family and therefore above not only Renly but Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen who are technically Robert’s stepchildren. 

For me, the situation is reminiscent of the Anarchy, a civil war of succession between Stephen of Blois and Empress Matilda following the death of William the Conqueror. Ignoring Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen (as we all know that they’re not blood relations of Robert), the line of succession would pass first to the next eldest blood relative of the most recent ruler, which would be Stannis, and then to Renly. Obviously things like fitness to rule would have to be taken into account - infirmity of mental and physical health, for example, or ‘moral infirmity’ (such as, for example… incest) - but as an able man of sound mind and of an age to rule alone, Stannis is the prime candidate to become the next king. I’m sure anyone who has younger siblings will agree with me that there’s nothing more infuriating than a younger sibling being given precedence or preferential treatment, and Stannis has already had a long-standing grudge against Renly for having received dominion over the Stormlands and residence in Storm’s End, the Baratheon family seat and hereditary lands, whilst he gets Dragonstone. It’s a long story and one that’s been done to death in meta, so I’m not going to rehash it here, but suffice to say that the way I’ve always personally read the relationship between Stannis and Renly is a long-suffering and bitter older brother resenting his younger brother for essentially being given what was ‘mine by rights’ (ACOK Catelyn III).

Speaking about the siege and the effect it had on Renly, and on his relationship with his brothers, I would agree with OP that it must have had a profound and lasting effect. OP says he is starved for food; undeniably, the castle at Storm’s End spends a year under siege ‘surviving on rats and boot leather’ (AGOT Eddard VI) and would certainly be empty of food long before said siege was broken, to the point where they are almost forced to resort to cannibalism: ‘Maester Cressen told Stannis we might be forced to eat our dead, and there was no gain in flinging away good meat’ (ACOK Catelyn IV). Renly, being Renly, is being pretty flippant about it, making a joke - but even sixteen+ years later, he remembers that they were almost ‘reduced to dining on corpses’ (ACOK Catelyn IV). That would have been a deeply psychologically scarring experience to have had to even think about, let alone have it be a distinct possibility. A small child, looking over the parapet of a castle under siege, who has been forced to eat rats and boot leather for god knows how long in the attempt to survive said siege, is going to be desperate to join the amassed ranks of banqueting, feasting enemies outside his door. He’s a child. He doesn’t understand why he can’t go out there and eat with them, and I think it’s highly unlikely that stannis would have bothered to explain all of the intricate details of how and why they were enemies and so out of bounds to a five-year-old child. All he sees is food, and his tummy is grumbling. Stannis, however - ever a pragmatist, and considerably wiser to the perils of war than his five-year-old brother - sees the bannermen and armies of a king who is known to be cruel to the point of madness, who will have been charged with taking the castle and obtaining it and its inhabitants’ surrender by any means necessary. He knows that if the Tyrells get hold of him, Renly, or Robert, who are all technically traitors to the crown, the penalty will be death. He would rather starve slowly, keeping himself and the rest of the people in the castle as safe as can be expected under the circumstances, and deny them the satisfaction. It’s a very brave thing to do (and I’m not in any way, shape or form a fan of Stannis).

The thing that must really grind Stannis’ gears (or his teeth!) about Renly… is that his brother probably doesn’t remember that. He doesn’t remember the green and gold being the symbol of the people who were threatening his life and withholding essential food and resources from him as a child. He sees Highgarden as it is in the summer of his life: practically a utopia, beautiful and wealthy and full of all the things Renly loves, from music to fruit to luxurious surroundings. Renly entirely allies himself with the Tyrells. as OP says, almost every time we meet him, he’s clad in green and/or gold: 

‘a man near twenty whose armour was […] a deep forest-green’ (AGOT Sansa I)

‘the king’s green velvet tunic as well, worked in gold thread […] the Baratheon sigil in the colours of highgarden’ (ACOK Catelyn II)

‘his green velvet doublet […] a chain of gold and emeralds around his neck’ (ACOK Catelyn III)

‘green leather straps and […] golden buckles’ (ACOK Catelyn IV). 

Even when he dies, Renly ‘stumble[s] […] a dark red tide that drown[s] his green and gold’ (ACOK Catelyn IV).

His chosen partner is a Tyrell, his wife is a Tyrell, the bankroll behind his claim to the throne and the army supporting him: ‘Tyrell swords will make me king’ (ACOK Catelyn IV).

And Renly adds insult to injury with the peach scene. he outright admits that the fruit is ‘from Highgarden’ (ACOK Catelyn III)’, just like the men making up his army, his queen, and his lover. ‘You’ve never tasted anything so sweet’ (ACOK Catelyn III). He says, and I’m sure to Renly it’s true. I’m sure there’s a part of Renly that’s still the scared little boy seeing the bounty of Highgarden right outside the walls of his home and wanting desperately to be part of it. The Tyrells are not only Renly’s practically adoptive family, they’re his benefactors in more ways than one. His fortunes and his destiny are inextricably linked with them and theirs. Renly has found love with the youngest son of their family, a boy who adores him so much he takes a vow of chastity at sixteen years old because ‘when the sun has set, no candle can replace it’ (ASOS 1 Tyrion II), a vow that mirrors Jaime Lannister giving up Casterly Rock and all of the Lannister fortune and power for love. OP asserts that Renly was starving for love as much as he was for food; Stannis was a dutiful, not a loving, brother, and Robert was not only absent but openly preferred the company of Ned, who is almost an adopted brother to him, to that of his actual blood siblings. Is it any wonder that, when Loras offers him his heart, he takes it with both hands, no matter how it infuriates Stannis?

to cut this long and rambling essay down to the thrust of it: 

Renly is, as OP says, starving for love and attention above all, because as a child he didn’t get any of that from anyone in his family. He’s damaged, traumatised, and dealing with that the best way he can. I personally am very drawn to him because i can identify strongly with that aspect of his character (my url is bpdrenly because i headcanon him as being a bpd sufferer too, and I have another meta about why I feel that that fits his character here). His was the type of childhood you see written about in those Cathy Glass books about neglected kids in the foster system in bookshops. My heart honestly breaks for him. Yes, he says and does some cruel things. No, he probably would not have been a good king, even if he had been given the chance. But he’s a complex and incredibly interesting character who it is my deepest regret - and also deepest joy - that we don’t get to have even one pov chapter for. I love him, which is why i joined the rainbowguardassemble mod team. We’re all fans of Renly, and that’s why we’re here.

[taylorhardybby]

sweetener // ben hardy x reader and bestfriend! Lucy x reader.

hi so basically the reader is a famous musician (shes pretty much based on Ariana Grande with syle elements from kylie jenner but picture her as anyone you like)  this is pretty long and I realised everything I've posted has had the same sort plot kinda so ill be changing that up I promise. 

5.7K words. 

also I've linked the songs that I mention  and ideas of the outfits I've mentions just cause i can I guess. enjoy xo 

_____________________________________

You were 19 when you first met Lucy. She was 22 and you met at a charity gala. You were new in the industry, barely knowing anyone. You and Lucy became instant best friends. She was like your big sister, your mom and your best friends rolled into one person and you couldn’t be more thankful for her. Fast forward three years and Lucy was working on one of her biggest projects yet. Bohemian Rhapsody. You had just released your lasted album and were only weeks away from tour, but when Lucy asked of you would come visit her you were on a plane within the hour.

You had barely seen your best friend in almost two months due to your album blowing up then your surprise world tour, for the last 10 weeks you spent every waking moment  rehearsing,  doing chorography, or at costuming fittings if you weren’t preparing for tour you were doing a interviews or attending events and award shows. You were completely exhausted. But you were new and young, and your record company had almost complete control over you. You were terrified if you said no, they would drop you, and you had worked too hard for that.

Your plane landed in London and you went straight to your hotel, Lucy would be filming until 9pm tonight then she was coming straight over to spend the night and in the morning you would both head over to the set. You were beyond excited, queen had been such a inspiration both musically and just in general through your entire life and to see even a tiny bit of the movie about them would be an honour.

It was 6pm when you got to your hotel, so you had three hours to kill, you considered just going for a walk and exploring but you had seen a few paps at the airport so you were sure there would be more. So you started rehearsing, you played the backing track to your newest song, Everytime. The choreography was fast and you kept messing up the steps during the chorus.

Time slipped away as you rehearsed, and your phone ringing brought you out of your trance.

“Hey sorry, ive bene so distract-” you were cut off, not even bothering to see who was actually calling, until you hear her voice.

“ive bene knocking for ages come let me in baby” you smiled at the nickname, lucy always called you baby, maybe it was because you were younger than her or she said it’s what her older sister would call her.

“oh my god sorry I’m coming lulu” you ran to the door of the hotel room apartment, the door swung open and Lucy was standing their champagne in hand and overnight bag in the other. She dropped her bag and pulled you in for a hug.

“I missed you so much lulu ”

“mee too, baby. I’m so sorry I miss everything” you had come inside and closed the door by now,

“your album release and the Grammys, you won and I wasn’t even there I’m  so sorry” you shook your head,

“its fine trust me its been crazy busy and this is important for you. I’m  just so happy that I get to see you now”

“yes me too now I want all the gossip”

You popped the champagne and shared not only that bottle but another you had found the mini bar, you spoke about your ex Kevin, and how he was inspiration for a few songs on your album. Lucy insisted on listening to your album from start to finish you didn’t mind. You loved your songs and you loved that your best friend sang along to every single word. Your tour was still a secret. Your record company wanted to announce it a week before you actually left, in the same way they kept your album a secret until a week before its release date. You were sworn to secrecy and you had told nobody but your mom, and when Lucy asked how you  were, really truly, you broke down.

“I’m a mess luce, I’m going on tour, surprise!” Lucy congratulated you but she knew you weren’t finished “I’m running myself ragged, if I’m not rehearsing im at a costume fitting I’m doing promo for the album or I’m at an awards show or event” you flopped back onto the bed trying to just let your body rest.

“I’m so tired I never stop. And thank god you called because this three-day break is such a blessing you have no idea” Lucy pulled you into a hug reassuring you it would all work out,

“what about with Kevin, how are you in realm” you sighed, you and Kevin broke up for a good reason, he was having personal issues and it was hurting you physically and mentally, so you left.

“I miss him so much, but I know that I did the right thing for me, I was so unhealthy always looking after him I forgot about me” you paused and thought for a moment “I think he’s better, from what I’ve heard, I still speak to his mom every now and then” Lucy nodded

“you did the right thing Y/N I know you loved him, but you need to look after yourself first” you nodded. The conversation turned a little lighter and you decided to pop another bottle of champagne just because you could,

“to us, successful women who are making shit happen” you made a toast and Lucy shouted back “to us” you changed the music and danced, laughed and just had fun with your best friend.

You woke up to the sun in your eye and Lucy’s alarm blaring, your head was pounding, and you looked around. Lucy was slowing waking up in the bed next to you. You had clearly tried to find pyjamas but you both looked like a mess. As you stood up out of bed you looked down at out outfit, a pair of black hotpants and a large oversized grey shirt tied in a knot and one blue sock. Lucy didn’t look much better and as you looked each their up and down you both laughed. The apartment was a mess. There was pillows and blankets everywhere, you counted 5 champagne bottles, all but one were empty the last was about three-quarters gone.

It was 7 am and Lucy was needed on the set at 8:30 so you both got ready, Lucy ordered breakfast- more specifically coffee, very strong and lots of it.

Once you looked presentable, Lucy looked you up and down raising an eyebrow,

“heels? Really Y/N” her tone was mockingly, and you just shrugged

“you know I love my heels, they make a statement” you twirled, and Lucy laughed at you

“also, I like to feel taller, it’s not easy being tiny”

Lucy drove you to the set, stopping to get more coffee on the way. You had music blaring the whole time just laughing and smiling. The set looked pretty normal and when you got there you followed Lucy to her trailer where you both set down your stuff. Her first costume of the day was already hanging so she got changed then wrapped herself in a coat. You followed her to hair and makeup,  and to your surprise Rami was already there when you walked in and Lucy introduced you of course.

Rami was very sweet and you felt much more comfortable knowing at least one more person liked you here. He mentioned your music and you blushed. These people knew who you were holy shit.

“I actually brought you album the day it came out, I love it” you laughed,

“thanks rami that’s really sweet of you, its still kind mind-blowing that people other than Lucy and my parents listen to my music” everyone laughed and the conversation flowed. Rami left soon after and Lucy finished not much later,

“okay so my the first scene today isn’t until later but we can go watch the boys film if you want” she checked her watch,

“they start in 20 so that heaps of time for you to meet them and what not” you nodded and just followed her into the sound stage.

From the moment you saw him you were breathless, you of course had googled all of Lucy’s co-stars as soon and she knew them but seeing him in person was something else, you eyes met his and you felt you cheeks heat up. You turned your face towards Lucy, sending her a smile but she sent you a knowing look. When you looked panicky, she giggled a little,

You walked over, and they group of four men turned towards you,

“hey Lucy, oooh who’s your friend” the man you assumed was playing john deacon spoke first.

“Joe, Gwil and Ben this is my best friend Y/N” she gestured to you and she spoke “Y/N this is Joe, Gwil, Ben and you of course know rami who you met earlier” you nodded and shook each of their hand but before you could say anything you were cut off,

“Lucy why didn’t you tell us that your Y/N was THE Y/N”  Joe playfully pushed Lucy and she tried to explain, but before you could get to deep in conversation the boys were called to their scene.

The scene was a short one and soon enough Lucy was whisked away to work so you sat there just on your phone, you felt someone come over towards you and you looked up. It was him. Ben Hardy. To say that you were in love was  a bit much, but he was so gorgeous it was hard not to. As he walked over to you smiled but internally you were panicking. You just kept telling yourself don’t make a fool of yourself, don’t do it

“Uh hey Y/N, where’d Lucy go” of course, he just wanted Lucy not you,

“oh she went to do some filming I’m not sure how long she’ll be”

“Okay cool so um are you hungry” you internally died omg what was he going to say holy shit

“I’m starving” he invited you to go with him for lunch, it was just Kraft services but you didn’t mind.

You spent the entire lunch hour just talking and laughing, it was so refreshing for someone to talk to you as just Y/N not THE Y/N.

You spent the next three days surrounded by the BoRhap boys and Lucy having the time of your life. You and Ben had gotten quite close and even while you were still in London if you weren’t with each other you were texting. You decided against telling Lucy, not wanting to make it weird between her and her co-stars.

Two weeks after arriving back in LA the tour was announced, it sold out almost everywhere and you were glad to see that your London tour date was the same weekend that BoRhap wrapped filming, Lucy had already texted that she was coming and that she would need six more tickets which you gave her no questions asked.

You went on tour and it was marvellous, the adrenalin you felt as thousands of people sang along to your songs was thrilling and you never wanted it to stop. You played shows all across the US, you were halfway through the US leg of the tour when you got a surprise. You had still been talking to ben every day and although you hadn’t put a label on it you felt pretty committed. You were in your dressing room, your show started in three hours, so you were slowing warming up your voice when you heard a knock.

When you answered the door there stood Ben his gleaming smile beamed from ear to ear, and he was holding a bunch of flowers, your favourite of course.

“holy shit what are you doing here” he pulled you into his arms and you hugged back excitedly,

“we had a few days off from shooting, so I thought I’d come visit you”  you pulled him into your dressing room and placed the flowers down, your eyes met, and the world felt like it melted away. He pulled you closer and whispered so quietly,

“Y/n can I please kiss you” you nodded,

“please” you barely got the word out from your mouth and your lips were on his.

Everything moved so fast and he fell back onto the sofa and you moved, straddling his lap. Every move felt like it was perfectly practiced and every touch felt like fire and you both shed yourself of clothes, ben of course being the perfect gentle mean continued to ask for permission before doing anything  you were to in the moment to speak so nodding sufficed.

Time passed, and you were lying in bens arms on the sofa, a random sheet covering you as you just held each other.  You lazily shared kisses and spoke about your time apart. The sound of your manager knocking on the door made you jump apart,

“Y/N they need you in hair and makeup” you jumped up and threw on your panties, bra and covered up with your robe.

“shit sorry ben, I totally lost track of time, stay here and I’ll send someone to come and get before the show”

“ill be waiting” you kissed him before closing the door behind you and walking down to hair and makeup.

You were in your first costume, as you walked towards the under stage your makeup artist fixed up the bright red lipstick you had on and you had you Mic in hand. You were ready.

You had never felt so pumped for a show before, partially because you knew Ben was there the other part was probably your post orgasm bliss. You snickered to yourself as you thought about it.

The show was a smash, the crowd were full of energy and so were you. As you walked off stage ben was waiting in the wings for you, he picked you up and spun you around, your lips connected as he did.

“what did you think of the show”

“you were bloody fantastic, I loved it the music, the dancing, the costumes” his kissed you again, “and I thought I was the rock star” you laughed at that one,

“you’ll always be a rock star” you walked hand in hand back to you dressing room, your meet and greet outfit was already laid out and you apologised to ben as you got changed.

“I’m sorry the meet and greets only go for 45 mins then we can go back to the hotel and I’m all yours I promise” he shook his head,

“it’s fine doesn’t apologise I need to make some phone calls anyway, you better keep that promise” he teased, you zipped up your dress. It was short red and left little to the imagination and you loved how ben eye you as you spun and asked his opinion.

“Y/n your making it hard from me not to rip that off your right now” you bit you lip and whispered into his ear,

“I promise you can rip it off later” you kissed directly behind his ear then giggled as he groaned when you walked away.  

The meet and greet felt like it dragged on for hours. Now you loved your fans but  the torment knowing exactly what was going to happen afterwards was enough to make you a little frustrated.

Finally you were back at the hotel, it was a short drive from where you had performed so the car ride wasn’t as tormenting as it could have been. But from the moment you stepped foot in the hotel room the door was locked, and your lips were on Ben’s and your legs were wrapped around his waist.

It was early morning before you had stopped. You both finally so exhausted that you fell sound asleep. Ben woke you up at around 11:30 the next morning apologising as the directors had called him and he was needed back on set ASAP. His flight left in an hour, so you said goodbye, and a little more very quickly and he left. Your next show wasn’t until tomorrow night, but you were flying there later this afternoon.

Three months after Ben had left your US tour was finished, you had gotten so sick and exhausted for weeks now you had been nauseous and your whole body ached. Your period was late, it was the stress. It had to be the stress.  You now had two weeks before the European leg of the tour started, and you were going to stay with Lucy. She had about a week and a half left of filming and although you really wanted to go visit the set you just so sick you could barely move.

Lucy picked you up from the airport and she took you back to her apartment. She brought it up first, after you had been explaining your sickness she blurted it out before she could stop herself,

“Y/N what if your pregnant”

“don’t be ridiculous how could I be- oh shit”

“oh shit what. What do you mean oh shit”?

“he-h came and visited it was months ago fuck why didn’t I think of this” you were rambling and so distracted you did even see your best friends face,

“Y/N who visited who are you talking about Kevin” by now you were crying, you shook your head

“no not Kevin, ben” Lucy gasped,

“ben who, Y/N”

“Ben Hardy” Lucy had that smirk,

“I knew it, I knew you were who he had been talking to”

“your not mad” you were so worried, that she would think you were unprofessional or soothing,

“not at all I don’t care I saw how you too looked ta each other when you first met, it was bound to happen”

So you explained to her when he came and surprised you three months ago and how you spent all night together alone in the hotel room, she was happy for you. That you had moved on form Kevin, but the looming issue was still there. Were you pregnant or not? Lucy disguised herself and drove down the street to the local pharmacy and brought a few tests.

You were terrified, your career had barely even begun and here you were at 21 and potentially pregnant to a man who’s 7 years older than you. You thought about your options, but you knew you would keep it. You had once promised yourself if something like this were to happen you would only get rid of it if it was going to harm you or if you weren’t going to be able to support a child. From what you knew it wasn’t hurting you and you had plenty of funds to support a baby.

You tried to think and work it out, the European part of your tour was only 3 months long. By the end you would be six-ish months pregnant. That’s not too bad. If you altered some of the choreography and costumes, you could probably hide it from the fans until then. It would all work out in the end.

You were brought out of your dream land when Lucy came back. She passed you the first test and came with you into the bathroom.

So you sat. three whole minutes. 180 seconds. The timer went off and Lucy grabbed your hand.

“no matter what that says, I’m here for you we can work this out” you nodded, took a deep breath and turned the test.

Positive.

You don’t even know how long you spent sobbing into Lucy’s arms. But eventually you got up and tried to fix yourself up. You and Lucy were meant to be meeting everyone for dinner tonight and it was 5 pm and you were a hot mess.

So, you showered, fixed your hair and did your makeup. You weren’t even sure how far along you were but now that you knew you were so paranoid that you look pregnant, so you put of two different pairs of spanx and threw on your least fitted outfit.

The dinner went well, considering you entire life had just changed an hour before and you were acting like you were perfectly fine. On the inside you were dying. You sat next to ben and he asked if you were okay more time than you could count. You felt horrible. You wanted to tell him, you really did but you couldn’t put that pressure on him. You could handle this own your own. Lucy surprised everyone with tickets to your London show at the end of dinner, and you were happy but terrified. Lucy had invited all the BoRhap boys as well as Roger and Brian. THE Roger Taylor and Brian May.  You were shitting yourself.

In the next two weeks you and Lucy went to the doctors and it was confirmed, you were 14 weeks pregnant. You had a meeting with your head of costuming and she agreed to fix your costumes as discretely as possible, so far only four people knew. Lucy, your doctor, your manager -Angela and your head of costume and makeup -JayJay.

Your London show came so fast, everyone had come backstage to see you. You were in your first costume once again . So far you hadn’t needed to fix the sizing you just wore a waist trainer and spanx underneath. You checked with the doctor who said it should be fine for a few hours for your shows, but you shouldn’t do it all the time. When you walked into your dressing room in your outfit Lucy gave you a worried look but she was confused when she saw no bump. You gave everyone hugs as they wished you luck, you thanked everyone for coming and promised them that this would be one of your best.

The show opened with one of your favourites on the album, God is a woman.  It was followed by breathin’ you spoke to the crowd and in a split second you had a costume change. You were wearing a sparkly red outfit now and your boots were now tan. You had changed your finale so when you changed into the lilac dress and boots, the first few beats of your new song filled the arena.

Breakfast at tiffany’s and bottles of bubbles,

Girls with tattoos who like getting in trouble,

Lashes and diamonds, ATM machine s

Buy myself all my favourite things

This was the first time your new song was being heard and the crowd loved it, 7 Rings was a hit and you finished the performance on a high like no other.

You came off and Lucy was there first screaming with joy

“WHERE THE HELL DID THAT SONG COME FROM ITS AMAZING” “it was a surprise its brand new I literally flew to LA the day before I came here to record it and we did the choro this morning” everyone was in awe of your work ethic and you were passed flowers and small gifts. you excused yourself to get changed. Lucy came with you.

“I can’t believe you went to LA to record the day before you came here, you were so sick that day”

“I know but they won’t let me perform songs until live recorded them in studio and I wanted to perform it for you guys” Lucy picked out an outfit for you before you both headed back to where everyone was.

Backstage the party was growing; your management had thrown a party to celebrate the start of your European tour.  Against all your wishes against it. Champagne was spilling, and the music was loud. You took a glass of champagne just for looks, you had no intentions of actually drinking it.

You found ben almost instantly and he embraced you, you still hadn’t told him but you were going to. Tonight. Its was selfish, you knew you were leaving on tour tomorrow and at least if he wanted nothing to do with you, you would be distracted. Heartbroken but distracted.

It was almost one and the party was still going strong, you took ben’s hand and asked if he wanted to back to your hotel room. You saw Lucy smile as you left, you had to do this. From the moment you were in the car the partition went up and all your plans went out the window. It was cruel, to keep the secret from him but a few moments of bliss before it could all potentially disappear was all you wanted.

You stopped it before it got too heated, one part of you said it was because of the paps and another was because you felt so guilty. Ben didn’t mention it. You went in through the back entry of the hotel and you went straight up to your room.

“Y/n what’s up you’ve been just a little off these last two weeks, Lucy said you’ve been sick” he paused, fuck. He knew. “are you okay, like are you really sick or something, last time I checked the flu doesn’t last for weeks” you sighed and ran you hand though your hair,

“no its not like that I’m not dying or anything I promise” you took a deep breath

“but there is something need to tell you” you sat down trying to calm your nerves, “now just know before I tell you I expect NOTHING from you okay but you deserve to know” Ben looked terrified, you were pretty sure he could have put two and two to bet but just to be clear you said it,

“I’m pregnant, 15 weeks to be exact and its yours”  he didn’t move you swore he barely even breathed. Tears were slipping down your cheeks you wanted him to do something, scream or yell anything was better than silence.

“please. Please say something I’m so sorry it took this long to tell you-“ but he cut you off when he attached his lips to yours.

“I love you Y/n I really fucking love you, and I was going to ask you tonight anyway, but will you be my girlfriend officially”

You nodded, not trusting your words.

“I love you to ben, I really fucking love you too”

You decided to announce your relationship to the fans the next day, as much as you wanted to keep it a secret the longer, they know about it  the less of a shock the pregnancy should be. Hopefully. You posted a selfie of you and Ben, he was kissing you sweetly and it was obvious what had taken place earlier. You had taken the picture month ago and you both loved it.

Now that Ben was finished filming BoRhap and his next project started in 3 months, so it seemed logical that he would  come on tour with you. You decided that he was going to head home and take a few weeks off just relaxing and what not then he would meet you when you got to Paris. It sounded perfect.

It worked. Tour was hard, each day your bump grew, and it was getting very difficult to hide it in the end. But with lighting and costuming you finished tour with a six-month-old baby bump and it was still a secret.  A few weeks into the euro tour you changed all your costumes to from body suits and peplum to flouncy dresses. They all looked gorgeous and you were totally going to be using then in your other tours.

Ben was a god send. You loved having him with you and when tour was over, he was moving to the states. After a hard decision he decided to move to your house, instead of you moving in with him. Living in LA would probably benefit him in the long run anyway, so it wasn’t too hard of a decision.

You had decided to announce your pregnancy at the BoRhap Premier. Your dress was ready. It was the first tight dress you had worn in a while and it perfectly showed your  7-month-old baby bump. The fans were loving your relationship and you hoped the reaction to this would be as happy.

The day of the premier had arrived and you had spent hours In hair and makeup, you were nervous. Excited but nervous. You swear you heard the gasps as you stood out from the car. You were sure it was already world wise news,

“Americas sweetheart Y/N pregnant at 22 to her 28-year-old boyfriend”

You spent the night being questioned about your bump; why it was kept a secret, how far along were you blah blah blah.

By the time you got inside you were exhausted. Your feet hurt, because you were wearing your beloved heels of course. Your face hurt from smiling and your back was killing. Ben tried to look after you, and he got you everything you wanted. Lucy and Rami had also announced their relationship tonight, so the press was buzzing with all this new information.  Lucy sat next to you laughing at all the notifications you were getting,

“hey baby I think you broke the internet have you checked anything”

“im too scared, can you. Check my twitter” Lucy nodded, and she gasped

“they love it. Everyone loves it. Look your fans they did the maths and realised you were pregnant on tour and they love you for it” you started crying. Fucking pregnancy and its hormones . what a relief.

The premier went well and once you flew home, you were on the plane with all the BoRhap boys and Lucy  because as they had promo for the next few weeks. You had already decided to do another album, and you had a few songs ready to go, that you were recording then once you had the baby you would take three ish months off and you would be back in the studio.  Your record company had decided instead of doing another tour if your album was received well you would do more events like award ceremonies  and music festivals. You agreed. You knew that you wanted to continue with music and your baby would always be your first priority.

On the exact day you were 39 weeks, you were standing in the recording booth, it was your last day and you had one last verse to record. Ben had promo all day and you were meeting for lunch in about and hour. As you sang your last lyric everyone clapped, and you were beaming.

“fuck”  this caught the attention of your manager,

“Y/n is everything okay?”

You shook your head,

“my waters just broke”

You were rushed into your car and Angela your manager drove to the hospital as you called ben. He was in the middle of an interview when he was ushered off stage,

“what wrong,”

“Y/n’s waters broke and she son her way to the hospital this interview finishes in about 5 then you’re going straight away”

When Ben arrived with Lucy in tow you were in the hospital bed trying get through another contraction.

At 3:21 pm your gorgeous baby boy was brought into the world. Noah Benjamin Jones was perfect in every way. He was a carbon copy of his father, much to your disgrace. Nine months of pregnancy and he looks like his father. Typical male.  

Noah was the perfect baby, and as you went back to work, he came along and was an angel. When Noah was three you toured again you took your little family with you. Noah loved to see all the new cities and he became a crowd favourite when he would come out and dance with his mamma on stage for his favourite song. History seemed to repeat itself and you found yourself pregnant again in your last few weeks of your second tour.

Your family grew,  your second child was born, a little girl Lucia Rae Jones, named after your best friend of course Lucy.  When Lucia or Cici, was six months old you and ben finally decided to get married. It was a quite a large wedding, but it was full of love and that mattered to you.

[highroadsteve]

going to a concert — t.h.

im honestly writing this because twenty one pilots might be coming back soon and i am so excited ive been waiting a whole year for this

ok enjoy, this is kinda based off of my own experience going to concerts

warning: just swearing!

masterlist

ok so going to a concert w tom would soooo fucking fun

you two would be so full of adrenaline because it’s your favorite band and you are finally gonna go see them!!

the night before, u and tom are going over plans and whats happening, when are you gonna leave, all that jazz

of course tom will be super chill about it and he’s like oh yea its gonna be pretty cool

but inside he’s like screeching in excitement since he gets to experience this with you

because he just loves making amazing memories w his most prized possession aka u

so now its the day of the concert in which doors open at 6pm so you have the whole day to get ready

however, you both wake up pretty early because you’re just so damn excited

you get your clothes ready right after you eat breakfast because you gotta look good when you take pics to post on insta amirite

so you start getting ready by like lets say 3:30 so you can leave at 5:30 with no rush

lets be real tom doesnt start getting ready until like 5 cause he claims he doesnt need so much time smh

anyways yall finally make it to the venue and its no surprise theres a huuuuuuge line

well since tom is pretty damn rich u know he went all out and got u some good ass tickets so you can watch your favorite artist from up close

maybe even backstage???

nonetheless the concert would be full of crying and screaming and singing along to your favorite songs

there would be times where you and him would kiss soo passionately cause !!! thats ur song!!!!!

and although it was pretty suffocating to be around so many people, you two came out with your blood just fuckin PUMPING

your phones are almost dead due to u both recording basically the entire concert but thats cool cause you get to replay them and just smile at the memories!!

now you both just go through the huge crowd tryna get out and go to the merch stands cause you just HAVE to buy some shirts

the two of you are finally out and in your car just resting, drinking some water and laughing breathlessly

your whole body is basically just sore and worn out but it’s all worth it cause u got to see your favorite artist and you got to see them with your favorite person

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.

youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?

lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely

suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside

ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then

THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?

also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well

<3 w.a. 🐺

answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH

oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.

hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.

i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.

WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.

for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.

cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D

thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s

domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.

ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.

the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.

sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?

silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.

secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +

STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,

red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O

surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?

gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.

wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.

and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN

[jigsisanalien]

As usual, my mom compromises to something and leaves us to deal with it.

A month ago my nana told us she had to get surgery on her eye and they could only do it in a city 3h away from her village (she lives 1h away from us), i told her and my mom that if its needed i could go to her house afterwards, spend a week or so to take care of her, everybody brushed it off. Anyway, two days before the surgery was when they told us so. My uncle was only talking with my mom even though my sis was asking him stuff, my mom wasnt telling us shit either, so i was like wtf. Well saturday (the day of the surgery) came around and it was only when my mom was entering the car with my nana, that she let me know that she was going with her, kay.

After they came back, obviously she needed special care, i though she was only going to stay til Sunday or Monday, since my uncle was meeting other people in the next city, i though he would just drop her off then pick her up when going home, but i was still prepared for the eventuality to go with her.

Sunday night (my mom had the weekend off), my mom tells me that indeed my nana is going to stay for the whole week at our house because she would have us to take care of her, well, also turns out that my mom was going to work for the whole week leaving who to take care of her? ME! I told my mom once again that ive could have gone there because it was better, not only she wouldnt be so dependent on me because she doesnt know how to move around my house, also my nana as an outside area at her house, i wouldnt be needing to remain inside for the whole fucking week. My mom was the one who compromised in taking care of our nana, but yet i was the one who had to deal with it, reschedule everything i had at last minute, without anyone asking me for it or giving me an heads up, just telling me the day before. Im not going to lie that its harder than i though, its a full day care, i couldnt do any shit at all, plus my nana doesnt eat much or certain things, so i never know what to cook for her, i wasnt able to sleep either because im always aware that my nana could do something she doesnt know. Thurdays i woke up in full pain but i still had to manage to get up and take care of her, and my mom couldnt care less.

I had to make my buy groceries, i asked her if she needed anything, i asked more than once, all she told me was bread, she could texted me or call me if she needed something else, she didnt. Next day she tells me she needed to go to the supermarket, i tell her i went on the day before, she could have asked but fuck it, as i got home at 6.30h i told her to hurry up because i had to take care of my nephew, she spent 30min just getting ready for it...obviously when we were there i had to hurry, she always takes an hour to do it because she just stares at stuff for 5 min each, knowing her, of course i would rush her. It still took us 40min and she only bought like 5 items.

Next day, once again she told me she needed to buy another thing she forgot plus going to the pharmacy, which wasnt that urgent, so i went to pick her up at work, left her at home and went to see my friend which had the supermarket next to her, bought what she wanted even more bread. Next day, was the day i woke up in full pain, obviously i couldnt pick her up at work, i told her i was in full pain when she asked me and all she told me "oh now i have to go all loaded(carrying heavy stuff aka more groceries)" it was 20min after she left work, how she managed that, idk, but i started to think that she wasnt leaving work at 3.30pm like she said.

As she gets home after like 2h of leaving work, she realizes she was still missing milk...i went downstairs because she once again was playing the victim of "oh im grabbing a taxi in the morning and buy it or catch the bus" as if, she was even willing to catch the 6pm bus and coming on the 6.30pm bus just to buy milk, when i started to scream at her because once again she was playing the victim and all i did was to go to the supermarket for 3 days straight and she kept saying she forgot something making me go there again, her excuse "oh you were always in a hurry" i went 3 fucking times and she could call, nope once again she turned the blame at me, i left, she continued to play the victim, indeed caught the bus and brought two packs of milk, which nobody drank till two days after and it was me, such an urgent thing.

Friday, she really lost her shit, she went to work in the afternoon and would leave at 9.30pm. Obviously by then my nana was already tired of being here, she barelly left the bed, she didnt even went upstairs to wash herself, she was cleaning the dishes with the kitchen cloth, all because she noticed my mom would leave the dirty dishes piling up and felt bad. She cant go outside, she doesnt have her stuff to take care, thats why i wanted to go there to take care of her, instead of her staying here, because i knew she couldnt stand being isolated inside having to depend on others. Well what my mom did was the worst, knowing she had her mom at home needing care, she decided to meet her bf after work. My nana obviously couldnt sleep because she was worrying my mom wouldnt come home, it was almost midnight when she finally got home and she pressed red when i tried to call her. My nana even asked me if i could take her home afterwards, so i made plans with my friend because i dont want to travel all alone.

Next day, my sister comes here, they are now saying that my unlce is coming either next day or afterwards, but if they could eventually take her, my bil and sis not me, they didnt even mention me, because fuck me right, why i even bother honestly, my mom only does what she wants and fuck everybody else, doesnt even tells us shit.

Once again i canceled plans because of them. Sunday morning my sister had to call them to make the plans for the day, they told her indeed our uncle would come today...probably, so we said fuck it and went to do our thing, taking a stroll in a park, then later i went to my friend. They didnt said shit, later i went to babysit and was only when i got home late that day, when i didnt saw my nana that i knew they left, i though that since they were making plans at last minute my uncle couldnt make it and eventually would be left for us to deal.

The fucked up part was when i got home, my mom was talking to my nana and my nana was probably wanting to thank me, my mom turns to her and says "oh she didnt do more than her own obligation" my obligation???? Her obligation, its HER mom, not mine, it was never my obligation, i just had to deal with it, because once again she compromised to something and left others to deal with it and fuck them and whatever plans or life they have.