#(i mean sam already does that on a daily)

[mxltifxnd0m]

guys i have an obsession with meg! sam it’s not fucking funny

all the edits i’ve been getting on my feed have been of meg sam and it’s not helping it at all

as if i want it to stop i need the algorithm to serve me more of meg sam

jared padalecki had no RIGHT making meg! sam that hot like WTF

[lucidlivi]

she calls me daddy now

popping in with the supernatural/true blood crossover you didn't know you needed!

Warning: not suited for minors, strong language, sexual innuendos, sex, slight threesome, violence, blood, gore, major character death, blood drinking, blood draining, mentions of death, staking, vampire burning, major angst, heartbroken Dean

I will be working on other prompt requests soon but I had this idea and didn’t want to lose it, I hope you guys love it as much as I do!

A switch in viewpoints will be indicate in bold italics

Reader

"Fangtasia? really?" I snort glancing at the boys beside me.

"Leeches with a sense of humor.. great." Dean grumbles.

"So much for mainstreaming, Louisiana has one of the highest disappearance rates in the country... 346 people in this last month alone. You and I both know what really happened to them." Sam says looking at the news article on his cellphone.

"And you're sure we're going to find help here?" Dean asked in disbelief.

"I mean there has to be some sort of order to things, even for vampires.'" I shrugged.

"And since we're not scoring a date with the vampire queen , one of her pawns should work just fine." Sam said as I watched the eager humans line up to get in to the famous vampire bar.

It's been years now since vampires exposed themselves to the world.

Of course we already knew of their existence.

However, with the invention of synthetic blood the vamps decided they wanted to become part of society, mainstream they call it.

It took the world by storm.

People were lining up to meet and more disgustingly volunteer to get bitten by a vampire.

It was sickening.

As you can imagine this did not go over well with the hunting community.

It was a question on everyone's mind.

Could vamps really change?

Could they be functioning members of a society?

In Louisiana the answer was no.

"I still don't like this." Dean growled as we took our place in line for entrance to the bar.

"No one does, but we have to try to work out some sort of treaty, some sort of peace between us and them, too many people are dying." Sam said.

Oh Sammy.

As if peace between vampires and humans was possible.

We were a meal to them, nothing more.

I could feel Dean's anxiety pushing in to me, making me anxious.

I grabbed his hand giving it a reassuring squeeze. He was quick to lace our fingers together pulling me closer to him.

He instantly calmed a bit.

Dean and I had an interesting relationship.

Sam, he was like my annoying little brother.

But not Dean.

Dean and I shared a connection that went deeper.

He and I just got each other.

We weren't what you would call a thing though.

A hunter's life didn't afford us that privilege.

I knew that no matter what we would always look out for each other and if something were to happen to one of us, the other would never be the same.

It was a terrifying feeling in our line of work, since a brush with death was a daily occurrence for us.

As we got closer to the door I slipped my hand from Dean's.

I could see a lady at the door taking ID's, and from her too straight posture and her perfect looks I could tell she was one of them.

I had seen a vampire or two in my lifetime so they were easy for me to spot.

I felt the air shift as we got closer, causing me to pull my leather jacket tighter around my body.

"ID." she ordered extending her perfectly manicured hand towards me, her eyes focused elsewhere.

I sized her up, trying to guess her age. If I had to I'd say definitely over 100 years old.

She looked experienced, which is how you could tell a vampire's true age.

After a moment of stillness she finally glanced up meeting my eyes.

She glared at me, as if I was beneath her.

I simply stared back at her.

She flashed her fangs willing me to fall at her feet in submission.

I could feel Dean tense behind me, ready to pounce if needed.

"ID." She ordered once again with a southern drawl.

I gave her a forced smile, pulling out a fake ID card.

If she knew it was fake, she didn't say anything, just let me pass. Sam and Dean were let in without showing ID much to my annoyance.

As soon as we were past the rope, the woman at the door disappeared.

I could smell the stench of sex, sweat, and booze as the doors to the bar opened.

If I thought the name was ridiculous, the inside was even more ridiculous. It was decorated in reds and blacks, really selling the vampire theme.

I scoffed at the patrons who were clad in leather and lace. It was like they were proud to be flaunting their flesh for the bloodsuckers.

Perhaps though the most ridiculous and tacky thing was the throne in the middle of the stage overlooking the bar.

My eyes traveled up the throne before connecting with a pair of icy blue ones.

Suddenly it was as if I was being pulled into some sort of trance.

His eyes boring into my own.

I quickly broke eye contact taking a moment to take in his other features.

A mess of blonde locks lay on his head.

His jaw perfectly defined along with his other facial features.

His hands that were gripping the arm rests of the throne, large and lethal.

He was frighteningly tall, even taller than Sam, and he was basically Bigfoot.

It was however the smirk that played on his lips that made my blood boil.

He knew what I was, just as I knew what he was.

A vampire.

Just the pawn we were looking for.

I noticed the perfect blonde woman from the door suddenly at his side, leaning over and whispering in his ear.

I could see her glance in our direction.

She was trying to be discreet but I was on to her.

She was warning him.

Warning him about us.

I didn't get to see anything else as Dean pulled me towards a booth in the back.

I took this moment to study the people.

It was sickening seeing so many vampires and humans mingling like they weren't bloodthirsty monsters, and the humans eager to be their next meal.

"So I think the big blonde guy is who we need to talk to." Sam said looking between me and Dean.

I rolled my eyes.

Is he serious right now?

"Really Sam what gave you that idea huh? The throne in the middle of the stage? The way all the other vampires flock to him? Or, or maybe it’s the fact that he's glaring daggers at us right about now." I sassed feeling the blonde's eyes burning me from behind.

"Okay so what's the plan then, I don't think he's going to talk to us willingly." Dean said ignoring my attitude.

"Well maybe not us." Sam said pointing between himself and Dean.

Dean looked around seeing the blonde man's eyes devouring my form.

"No absolutely not." Dean interjected quickly.

"Dean, it may be our only shot I seemed to have peaked his interest." I said turning my body fully towards him.

"We can figure something else out then, this is reckless and you know that." Dean growled.

"I know but I don't think we have that kind of time, people are dying Dean, people we swore to protect." I shot back.

"Yeah well I swore to protect you." Dean gutted.

"So then protect me." I said rising from my seat.

Dean was not happy, that much was evident on his face. I couldn't focus on that right now though. I was doing this.

I took a deep breath straightening out my jacket.

I slowly approached the throne, center stage.I could see people eyeing me with envy. I was only focused on the vamp, whose eyes grew more curious the closer I got.

I was about to take another step but was halted by another man, who I could tell was also a vampire.

"Sorry no one speaks to Mr. Northman without his permission." He growled at me.

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes at this.

Who the hell did this vamp think he was, god?

"Chow, let her through." A strong voice spoke.

It didn't take me long to figure out it came from the vampire on the throne.

The man grumbled something under his breath before stepping to the side.

I took another deep breath striding in front of the blonde man.

"Mr. Northman I presume?"

"Please, call me Eric, and who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?" He smirked.

I thought for a minute if I should make up some fake name.

"And mind you I can tell if you're lying." He added, somehow reading my thoughts.

"y/n." I offered only my first name.

"What I can I do for you y/n?" He asked interested, as if I was going to offer him my neck.

"I think you know why we're here." I stated crossing my arms in front of myself as if it would put more distant between me and Eric.

"Yes unfortunately , it was only a matter of time before you hunters showed up."

"We wouldn't have to if you leeches kept yourselves in check." I bit back quickly.

"Well aren't you sweet." Eric smirked.

"Yeah not really."

I knew I should probably watch my tongue in a bar full of vampires. However, when my anger got the best of me, I couldn’t control the things that spilled from my lips.

"You have no idea who you're talking to do you?" Eric laughed, standing to his full height.

He towered over my short stature easily.

I wouldn't let him intimidate me though which is exactly what he was trying to do.

"So enlighten me then Mr. Northman."

"I'm a thousand year old viking darling, I'm not threatened by you or anyone for that matter."

"I'm not here to threaten you, I'm here to help you." I retorted quickly, acting unfazed by the declaration of his true age.

My statement resulted in another laugh from the viking vampire.

"Help me? Now what in that pretty little head of yours makes you think I need, or want your help." He whispered menacingly, clearly trying to threaten me.

I would have been a little more afraid had I not noticed the slight crease in his eyebrows as he spoke.

He was worried about something.

My guess, pressure from his boss to solve his little vampire problem.

Order.

Creatures couldn't function without it.

I couldn't fight the smirk that made it's way to my face.

"I think you're worried, 346 bodies is a lot of bodies to hide, I mean we know that they didn’t really disappear did they? Also isn't it your job to keep all these vampires in line? I'm guessing a bunch of rogue vampires going on a killing spree doesn’t exactly fair well with your boss." I taunted.

I knew I pushed it too far when his fangs popped out with a click.

He quickly wrapped a hand around my throat causing Dean to shoot up, pulling out his gun loaded with ultraviolet emitting bullets.

If Eric saw him, he was completely unfazed by his actions.

I gave Dean a look, telling him to wait before he starts blindly shooting in a room full of vampires.

I could handle myself well, Dean knew as much.

“Don’t you tell me how to do my job.” he growled his hand squeezing a little tighter around my throat.

"Do your job then." I spat, pushing him a little further.

Eric then looked deeply in my orbs as his glazed over.

He spoke in an enchanting voice.

"Now you and your little gang of hunters are going to leave my bar, but before you go, you're going to let me taste you while your boyfriend over there watches me."

I knew what he was trying to do.

He was trying to what they call "glamor" me.

Get in my head.

Control me and my thoughts.

No man controls me.

"No offense Mr. Northman but you're not really my type." I managed to squeak out, his hand still squeezing my throat.

Eric quickly released my neck with a confused look.

"Why can't I glamor you?" He growled in frustration.

I quickly turned around, pulling my shirt up slightly so he could see the anti-possession tattoo in the center of my spine.

"Turns out this isn’t just for demons, works for your mind tricks too. Eric this is my final offer, let us help you or we're gonna handle things our way, and then you'll have a lot more bodies to dispose of. We’ll be in town, it’s your choice." I threatened before turning away from the vampire.

I could tell he didn't take kindly to my threats but he didn't retaliate surprisingly, given his nature.

I could see the relief wash over Dean's face as I returned to his side.

"Looks like we aren't getting his help, let's go." I said knowing full well Eric could still hear me.

Dean tucked his gun away roughly grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the bar.

I could tell by his face that he was trying his best not to explode.

He was irate.

As soon as we were in the impala the floodgates opened and all hell let loose.

"Wow you've done a lot of stupid shit in the past but that has to be the most fucked thing you've ever done, what the hell were you thinking?" Dean growled.

I wasn't sure if it was directed at Sam for suggesting I talk to Eric alone or me for actually doing it.

“Dean come on it’s…” Sam started but Dean quickly cut him off.

“Stay out of this Sam.” Dean growled.

I guess now I knew it was directed at me.

“You can’t be serious right now?” I scoffed at his behavior.

“He could have snapped you like a twig, you gave him every opportunity.” Dean snapped.

I knew this was his way of saying he was worried about me but l didn’t like how he was going about it.

“I can handle myself.” I said with an eye roll.

“I mean what was your plan exactly? Badmouth him until he sinks his fangs in to your neck? You had no plan going up there, that was so irresponsible.” Dean continued.

“Yeah well he didn’t hurt me did he?” I scoffed.

“Your lucky he didn’t, you just act without thinking about the consequences.” He retorted.

“Yeah well sometimes you think too much and don’t act.”

“At least you don’t have to continuously save my ass!” He growled.

“Ugh would you stop treating me like a child!” I said my voice rising along with my anger.

“I will when you stop acting like one!” Dean yelled.

I rolled my eyes again, sinking back in to the seat. I was done talking about this. It was no use anyways.

I knew Eric wouldn’t hurt me.

I don’t know how I knew, I just did. He wouldn’t admit it but he needed our help.

I was extremely thankful to be pulling in to the motel parking lot. I jumped out of the car before Dean could bring it to a complete stop, slamming the door in a fit.

I could hear Dean throwing open his door and quickly striding up to catch me.

“We are not done talking about this.” He growled grabbing my wrist.

“I am.” I seethed snatching my wrist from him.

I walked in to my separate motel room, slamming the door in his face.

God!

Dean didn’t usually yell at me, I had no idea where all this was coming from.

"Fuck!" I screamed, before quickly stripping my clothes wanting to wash away this evening and everything it brought.

I turned on the shower, steam instantly filling the bathroom.

I stepped in, the hot water relaxing my tense muscles.

What the hell was up with Dean?

Why was he acting so, so possessive?

He knew I was strong enough to handle my own, yet he was treating me as if I were some stupid kid walking in to the lions den unprepared.

I knew how to kill vampires, this wasn’t my first rodeo.

I was angrily scrubbing my body and hair, too caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t hear my motel room door opening, or the bathroom door for that matter.

I washed the shampoo from my hair before noticing Dean’s presence. It made me jump but only momentarily. He was standing on the other side of the shower curtain, his shoulders slumped over.

“I said I was done talking about it Dean.” I bit quickly.

I was expecting him to start yelling at me again, tell me how stupid I was being, but Dean didn’t say anything instead just stayed quiet.

"Dean?" I asked softening my tone.

Dean was never quiet.

Only when he was in his head about something.

Like I said we just got each other.

It was a moment before he spoke.

“You have no idea how worried I was for you, fuck y/n why do you care so little about your life when to me it’s everything?” Dean said, his voice being overtaken with emotion.

My breathing stilled at his words. I felt tears gather in the corners of my eyes.

Dean wasn’t the vulnerable type, never admitting how he was truly feeling, but here he was laying it all out.

Before thinking I flung open the shower curtain looking at him. His eyebrows were creased with worry and hurt.

I suddenly felt extremely guilty.

I didn’t want to hurt him.

That was the last thing I wanted to do.

Dean was my person.

I jumped out and flung my arms around him, soaking his t-shirt. He didn't seem to mind much as he wrapped his strong arms around me holding me tightly to his body.

I buried my head in the crook of his neck, allowing a few tears to cascade down my cheeks. His hand found its way to the back of my head stroking my wet hair.

“I’m sorry Dean.” I spoke quietly.

Dean’s hand traveled down to the back of my neck, pulling my head up so he could look in my eyes.

Dean and I didn't need words to convey our feelings.

Our eyes alone did just that.

I could feel the heat spreading to my core as his eyes devoured me hungrily.

Dean and I didn't cross this line often.

In fact only once before.

It was a dangerous line to be flirting with.

But in this moment, I didn't care.

Dean didn't either, for a moment later he was crashing his lips on mine.

His lips had a petal softness to them, but he kissed like a man that had been starved for months.

I balled his t-shirt in my fists pulling him impossibly closer. Dean's hand gripped my neck harder as if I was about to float away and he was the only thing holding me down.

I broke away but only briefly to suck in a harsh breath.

Dean pulled me back in again, devouring my lips.

He kissed me as if I was oxygen and he was dying to breathe.

I couldn't help the breathless moans that fell from my lips as I felt Dean's trapped erection on my already burning center.

I wanted more.

Needed more.

"Dean." I panted, hoping he would catch on.

Dean didn't bother teasing. He picked me up quickly kicking the bathroom door open, before gently placing me on the run down motel bed.

He was quick to dispose of his shirt.

I trailed my eyes down his body.

Dean was the kind of handsome that got into my bones, that spoke to me before he'd even said a word.

I licked my lips as I admired him.

I sat up on the bed, not being able to stop my self from placing my lips on his perfectly chiseled jaw. He let out a guttural sound as my tongue worked down to his neck, kissing and sucking, marking him as mine.

He quickly disposed of his jeans, freeing himself at last. He gently pushed me back down hovering his body over mine.

Dean looked at me as if he applied too much pressure I might break.

He trailed his hand down my body painfully slow, stopping to brush gently over my aching core. I sucked in my bottom lip to try to stop the needy whine that wished to escape but I was too late.

I needed to feel him, all of him.

Dean leaned down once again kissing my lips tenderly.

"I promise." Dean whispered pulling away gently.

I shook my head in confusion.

"Promise?" I breathed out.

"I promise to make up for all the years I was supposed to be kissing you." Dean rasped.

I felt my eyes prickle with tears.

I grabbed his head bringing his lips back to my own.

I don't think I'll ever get over the feeling I get when kissing Dean, it was warm, it was safe, it was everything I needed, because with Dean, sometimes kissing felt like healing.

Dean grabbed his erection, slowly rubbing his tip up and down my folds, torturing me with pleasure.

He grunted pushing himself through my slickness all without breaking our hungry kiss.

Dean thrusted at a tortuously slow pace, hitting my sweet spot with every movement. Dean buried his head into my neck, heavenly groans fell from his lips.

I moaned a little louder with each slow thrust.

I couldn't take anymore, I rolled my hips up meeting his.

Dean pushed himself even deeper, causing a sensual whine out of me.

"So pretty when you're whining for me."

I could barely think straight from the fire burning in my veins. I closed my eyes digging my nails slightly in to his skin.

“Oh fuck Dean right there.” I moaned feeling my orgasm making itself known.

I could feel myself clenching around him causing him to cry out in pleasure.

“Good girl baby, cum for me.” Dean whispered in a husky voice.

His tone and praise alone was enough to have me soaking his length, my walls contracting all around him.

Dean began to thrust harder and faster, chasing his own orgasm. When his rhythm became sloppy I knew he was close.

Dean gave one last deep thrust before I felt white hot spurts of liquid coating my still sensitive walls.

Just when I thought Dean couldn’t get more attractive, here he was looking like a god as he groaned, riding out his orgasm.

I could cum again just from the sight of it.

Dean slowly removed himself, satisfied when his seed spilled out coating my thighs.

"I think you're gonna need another shower." Dean smirked.

Yep.

Dean was back.

I was about to make my usual snarky comment but a loud knocking on the door got my attention.

I thought it might be Sam coming to check on me, he has been on the receiving end of Dean’s wrath more than once.

I threw on a shirt and some sleep shorts before peeling the door open slowly.

I was not prepared to see Eric Northman behind it.

"You know for hunters you really need to cover your tracks better, wasn't all that hard to track you down, not with that sweet aroma you carry around." Eric smirked pompously.

I could hear Dean shuffling as he rushed putting his clothes back on.

He was suddenly at my side ripping the door open and glaring down the viking vampire in front of me.

It was the first time I saw them toe to toe.

Eric was definitely taller but Dean was unfazed by his size.

Dean was nothing to mess with either. He was lethal in his own right, and had more blood on his hands then he liked to think about.

"Now if you're done fucking your play thing, I'd like to talk." Eric said completely ignoring Dean’s threatening demeanor.

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks.

Oh god he heard that?

Of course he did, fucking super hearing ability.

"I think that opportunity has passed, we're no longer interested." Dean growled slamming the door but Eric’s vampire speed won out and he caught it seamlessly.

"If you could do me a favor sweets and calm your guard dog here, I believe you and I can help each other." Eric said once again ignoring Dean completely.

"I thought you said you didn't need or want my help?" I finally spoke, feeling my anger rising again.

"Oh don't be smug, it's humbling enough having to come to a breather for help." Eric said rolling his eyes.

I could feel Dean stiffen beside me.

He didn't trust Eric that much was obvious.

I didn't trust him either.

I was realistic though, and I knew our odds would be better with him on our side instead of in our way.

"Hypothetically speaking of course, let's say I was still interested in helping you, what then?" I inquired.

Dean growled from beside me.

“Excuse us for a moment." Dean said through clenched teeth, shutting the door, this time Eric allowing him to.

Dean sucked in a sharp breath preparing his lecture but I quickly cut him off before he could deliver it.

"Look before you yell, let's be realistic here, I think we're in way over our heads and having Eric on our side instead of in our way is an asset, even if I don't trust him, keep your enemies closer right?"

Dean's eyebrows furrowed knowing he couldn't argue with my logic.

"You were mad before because I didn't have plan, this time I do." I promised.

Dean placed a gentle hand to my cheek pulling my lips to his.

He knew Eric would be listening behind the door.

He wanted to make it known I was his.

I would definitely have to unpack this situation later.

Dean removed his lips resting his forehead on mine.

"Fine we can talk." Dean reluctantly agreed.

I gave him a small smile as I opened the door, seeing Eric standing there looking completely uninterested in Dean's show of affection.

"So then let's talk." I said nodding my head at Eric.

"Just you, no offense but I don’t think your guard dog will fit in with where we’re going, also you might want to shower first, if you’re going to be with me I can’t have you smelling of another man, and one more tip try not to look so much like a hunter, I’ll be back in thirty.” Eric ordered before speeding away.

“Fuck this, no way in hell am I letting you go anywhere alone with him.” Dean said.

“The idea doesn’t thrill me either but I’m just going to need you to trust me.” I said quickly going towards the bathroom.

Dean didn’t say anything instead followed behind me sulking. He shed his clothes stepping in the shower after me.

He huffed pouting as he took his hand washing his seed away from my body. I moaned as his fingers dipped in my folds cleansing me.

“I can trust you if you promise me you won’t do anything reckless, I couldn’t live with myself if you got hurt and I wasn’t there to help.” Dean said.

I quickly turned around facing him.

“I promise you Dean, nothing reckless.” I said standing on my toes to place a soft kiss to his mouth.

I finished washing myself quickly, then stepped out and towel dried myself.

I looked in my suitcase trying to find clothes that didn’t scream hunter. I settled for a sundress, this made me look more innocent, more naive.

Exactly thirty minutes later on the dot their was another harsh knock at the door. I took a deep breath opening it. Eric stood smirking behind it, clearly trying to provoke Dean. He let his eyes drift up and down my form very noticeably.

“If I didn’t know any better I would say you almost look normal.” Eric joked, that ever present cocky smile still on his face.

Dean wrapped a protective arm around me.

“I swear if you fucking hurt her..” Dean started but Eric cut him off.

“Down boy, she’ll be fine, besides I already ate this evening, though I wouldn’t say no to some dessert.” Eric taunted him.

I rolled my eyes at the pair.

I quickly turned around grabbing Deans shirt bringing him in for a feverish kiss.

Dean smirked in to the kiss hearing Eric sigh in annoyance.

I pulled away letting a hand linger on his cheek.

“I’ll be back.” I assured.

I turned towards Eric ignoring the arm he offered me.

“Well after you.” I gestured.

I saw the the expensive bugatti now parked outside my motel room.

A little over the top I thought, although I guess when you’ve been alive for so long your wealth is vast.

Eric smirked at Dean as he opened the passenger door gesturing for me to get in.

I gave Dean one more soft look before climbing in.

Eric zipped around clambering in the drivers seat. He peeled out of the motel at inhuman speed, making me grip the seat.

“So are you going to tell me where we’re going?” I asked annoyed.

“A tribunal meeting.” Eric simply answered.

“A what?”

“You people really don’t know anything do you?” He jabbed.

“Look if that’s how this is going to be you can just take me back.” I said rolling my eyes.

“You know your cute when you pout.” Eric laughed.

I rolled my eyes again ignoring his flirtatious comment. He was trying to get under my skin, and he was doing a damn good job at it.

“Listen just stay close to me, and don’t talk to anyone but me.” Eric said glancing at me.

“Eric..”

“No this is serious okay, for me to keep you safe you have to listen to me.” He said.

I glanced at his eyes, and for a moment just a moment I saw some of what I believed to be sincerity. It made him almost seem…. human.

“Fine.” I grumbled.

He pulled in to a field in the middle of nowhere.

I really wasn’t thrilled with this idea now.

I took a deep breath feeling the silver dagger Dean slipped in to the waistband of my underwear. It wasn’t much but it could help me out, give me some leverage.

Eric got out zipping around to open my door.

I got out of the car looking fully at the scene.

There were a few other vampires there, most looked pretty ancient. It wasn’t their looks per say, but their demeanor, the way they carried themselves.

I saw a few humans too, one vampire was openly feeding on a girls neck. If I had eaten I was sure it would come back up at the sight. The worst part is the girl moaned as if she was enjoying it.

Eric smirked as he wrapped an arm around my waist leading me towards the group of vampires.

"Remember what I said, be a good breather and keep quiet." Eric said.

"Fuck you." I cursed under my breath knowing full well Eric would hear me.

Eric's presence instantly got the attention of a man dressed in an expensive suit.

"Eric welcome, and who is this lovely thing you've brought with you, she smells delectable."

"Easy now magister, she's mine." Eric said.

His?

Oh hell no!

"Yours the fu.." I started but Eric quickly clamped his hand on my mouth.

"My apologies sir, quite the mouth she got on her, though it does come in handy." Eric joked.

I nipped at his hand covering my mouth as if telling him he was really pushing it.

"If you'll excuse us sir.." Eric said leading me away from the man.

As soon as he took his hand off my mouth, I raised my hand to strike him but he quickly caught it.

"Yours? What the fuck was that!? I am not now, nor will I ever be yours!" I growled.

"It's my way of protecting you, it's an unspoken rule for vampires that we can't harm or feed from another vampires claimed human, now that I openly claimed you, nobody can touch you or they have to deal with me."

I was still pissed at him but I shook my head in understanding.

"These guys, they're the authority?"

"Well sort of, we work for them, that guy was the magister, the judge of my kind, if you will. The others are area sheriffs like myself, we keep order in our area, and we're all here to talk about our little problem." Eric explained.

"And the humans are privileged to this information?" I questioned.

"No, you’re here to satiate us, but it doesn't matter what they hear they'll just be glamoured to forget, but since you can't be glamoured you better be good at acting." Eric said.

I nodded my head finally understanding.

I would be the only human to remember this meeting.

He was giving me information, leverage.

Eric was about to say something else when the magister cleared his throat getting the attention of all vampires present.

"Now stay close to me, and for fuck's sake act like you can stand to be near me." Eric whispered once again wrapping a cold arm around my waist.

I knew if Dean were here right now he'd be furious at Eric for even daring to touch me in such an intimate matter.

In fact Dean would probably kill him first and ask questions later.

Eric was right, Dean definitely wouldn't have fit in here.

I didn't fit in here.

I grumbled, leaning in to Eric's side, cozying up to him.

I had to pretend.

It might kill me.

But I had to pretend.

I could feel Eric's stupid smirk without seeing it.

"Stop enjoying this." I growled causing a chuckle to fall from his lips.

"Sheriffs, it's great to see you, unfortunately I wish it could be under better circumstances. You all have been gathered here because as you know your state has managed to gain the attention of the authority, and I can tell you they aren't happy. You were put in a position to keep order, lay low, push the movement along, so please someone tell me why it's a goddamn circus out here?" The guy who I now know as the magister yelled.

I could feel Eric tense beside me, his arm getting a little tighter around me.

I could tell the magister was in a significant position of power even without Eric telling me so.

"Sir it's the newborns, they're insatiable, unsupervised." One vamp spoke up.

"And who's fault is that, isn't it your job to handle problem vampires?"

"You wish us to kill our own’s progeny's?" Another quipped.

"Do you dare defy my order?" The magister threatened.

"No sir."

I was taking in all the new information.

It seemed that new vampires were being made, "progeny's" and being left unsupervised after their creation.

It was not only reckless, it was cruel.

"Well maybe the humans have it coming, all they've ever done is hunt us down and lynch us." A vampire beside us spoke.

I glance at him.

He was tall, not as tall as Eric but tall none the less.

He clearly thought he was holier then thou.

I guess he hadn’t come face to face with hunters yet.

"I mean we do kind of deserve it." Eric spoke, surprising me a great deal.

I didn't think he was capable of any compassion towards what he calls “breathers.”

"Wow I can't believe my ears, Eric Northman, the ruthless viking prince suddenly gets himself a human bitch and now he's mr. mainstream?" The vampire spoke turning and taking a step towards us.

Eric let out a warning growl.

"I would watch your next words sheriff, I’m not known for my patience." Eric said baring his fangs.

His hold on me got tighter, if that were possible, I was already trapped against his body as it was.

I could feel the tensions rising as both vampires hissed at each other.

I took my hand squeezing Eric's.

I was surprised when I felt him calm slightly.

It was a simple gesture that always worked for Dean, and seemingly Eric too.

It was a little way of wordlessly saying “I’m here, I got you.”

"ENOUGH both of you! Eric’s right, we all knew coming out of the coffin there would be risks involved, if you can't keep order the authority will come and eradicate your regions."

Eradicate?

As in kill them all?

I was all for killing vampires, but that seems a little excessive.

I worried for Eric.

Wait.

What the fuck am I saying?

I don't worry about vampires.

Vampires are nothing but killing machines.

They don’t have feelings.

Or do they?

I don’t know what I believed anymore in this moment.

"With all due respect magister this is complete bullshit." the previous vampire spoke again.

I could see the magister getting visibly angry.

"We are apex predators, the top of the food chain, and you expect us to just lay down and take it from a bunch of blood bags?" He continued.

I could feel myself getting heated at his words.

He was the epitome of the vampires we killed.

No regard for human life whatsoever.

"We don’t take it, we learn to control ourselves there’s a difference." The magister corrects.

He was all about pushing the mainstreaming movement along, that much was clear, but he could care less about humans as long as all killings and feedings were done in secrecy and done so as not to draw too much attention.

He was just another two faced authoritarian, pushing something he could care less about.

"You and the authority are out of your goddamn minds if you think..." He started.

In an instant the magister zipped over to him, producing a wooden stake before driving it straight through the vampires heart. The vampire exploded sending guts flying everywhere.

Eric quickly turned us around so I wasn’t hit by the debris but he was.

I let out a shaking breath as blood splattered the side of his face.

I didn’t think I would be getting this close to vampire politics tonight.

I was officially over it.

Eric looked in my eyes as if assuring me everything was alright.

The magister wiped some vampire guts from his suit before turning back to everyone.

“I think we’ve all learned our lesson yes?”

No one dared to speak so the magister continued.

“You,” he said pointing at one vampire, “clean up this mess’ and you,” he said now turning to Eric who was cleaning the blood from his face, “glamor your human and then come with me.”

Eric turned to me giving me a look, guess now it was time to put on an act.

How does one even act glamoured? A mindless zombie I guessed.

He stared at me with that glazed look in his eyes, the same one from the bar. He also had something else in there, but I couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was; mischief maybe?

Next came his enchanting voice.

“y/n.”

“Yes.” I spoke quietly as if I was under his spell.

“Nothing happened here tonight, you don’t remember any other vampires being here, you don’t remember anything that was said, do you understand?” Eric ordered.

“Nothing happened here.” I repeated.

“Good…” Eric smirked pompously. “Now kiss me and wait in the car like the good little breather you are.”

I felt my insides boiling.

What the hell was he doing?

He knew I couldn’t say no to him.

It was either that or blow my cover to the magister.

I trusted my skills but not enough to take out an ancient vampire with a simple silver dagger, not while so many others were around.

I realized I was already taking too much time to think. If I didn’t act soon it was over, I was made.

I glared at Eric with furious eyes before leaning in.

He grabbed the back of my neck joining our lips.

I kissed him back with much reserve but he didn’t seem to notice.

He however kissed me gently to my surprise.

In fact he was kind of good at kissing.

What the fuck?

Shut up brain!

This was a vampire for fucks sake!

I willed the moment to be over but Eric was taking his sweet time tasting my mouth.

As we were kissing I tasted something metallic on my tongue.

I knew that taste.

Blood.

I swear if he bit me, I don’t care who’s watching I’ll kill him.

I was confused when Eric pulled away and it wasn’t my lip that was bleeding but his own.

It was his blood?

I quickly turned around walking back to his car as instructed.

I was trying to soak in all the information.

At least now we knew what we were up against.

A bunch of unsupervised baby vamps.

Great.

Eric came back moments later getting in the car. I held my breath until we were far enough away from the field before speaking my thoughts.

“I don’t understand, why are there unsupervised baby vampires allowed to run amok, they need to be taught, isn’t that a little cruel, illegal?”

“It’s unfortunate not every vampire has such a responsible maker.” Eric answered.

“And your maker?” I wondered.

I heard the vampire call Eric a viking prince, I wondered just how he came to be what he was now.

He hesitated a moment before he spoke.

“Godric, he’s gone, he saved me from dying on a battlefield.”

I scoffed a little catching his attention but kept my comment to myself, further annoying Eric.

“Go ahead, say what you want to say.” Eric pushed.

“I don’t know how he saved you, making you crave blood to survive, making you a slave to the night, making you practically immortal, I mean that has to be really lonely, eventually everyone you know will be gone and then it’ll just be you.” I said glancing at him.

“It’s a good thing I don’t care for mortals then.”

“I don’t believe that.” I quipped.

“And I don’t believe you actually hate vampires, I saw how you reacted when the magister spoke of the authority eradicating our regions.” Eric pushed back.

“About that, can they actually do that?” I asked.

If vampires had enough power to eradicate entire regions I think we had bigger problems to worry about then a bunch of baby vamps.

“Yes, they can and they will if the problem isn’t solved.” Eric said slowly pulling back in the motel parking lot.

“So what do we do about it so that doesn’t happen?” I asked turning my body towards him.

“We?”

“Just shut up, and tell me!” I said rolling my eyes at him again.

“I guess the only thing we can do, go on a hunting trip. If we can’t control them we have to eradicate them.” Eric said.

“Alright we’ll be ready then.”

“You and your dog can meet me at fangtasia tomorrow night, sunset, we’ll formulate a plan from there.” Eric nodded.

“Sunset.” I confirmed turning to get out of the car.

“Oh Eric, one more thing.” I said turning back around.

Before he could realize what was happening I balled my fist, sending it flying in to his nose. I heard a satisfying crunch as it connected.

“ If you ever trick me into kissing you again, I’ll kill you myself. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I smirked getting out of the car.

“You broke my nose!” Eric yelled out the window.

“Eh your a vampire, you’ll heal.” I shrugged, glancing once more at him.

“I know I’m a vampire but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.” He growled pushing his nose back in to position.

“Goodnight Eric.” I called one final time.

Eric rolled his eyes before peeling out of the parking lot, the sound getting Dean’s attention. He flung open the door pulling me to his chest. He inspected my body for any signs of injury but found none.

“Dean it’s okay, I’m okay.” I said placing a hand on his cheek.

I took him inside telling him everything that happened.

Well almost everything.

I left out the kissing part.

It would just further cause problems between the two, and besides I handled it.

He groaned when I told him we’d be seeing Eric tomorrow night.

He didn’t want to work with him but he agreed with me, that if we didn’t take care of this little problem we’d have a much bigger problem on our hands, i.e. an authority of ancient vampires that could eradicate entire populations.

“It’s nearly dawn, we should get some sleep.” Dean said stroking a hand through my hair.

I looked at Dean’s face, he had a slight crease in his forehead that only showed up when he was worrying about something.

“Dean what is it?” I asked.

“Who’s to say we don’t help him and then he turns right around and tries to kills us? I don’t want you caught in the crossfire.” Dean says sincerely.

“I know your worried but I don’t think he’ll try anything, he needs our help, besides he had every opportunity to kill me tonight, but he didn’t. Instead he gave us some pretty valuable information, which I’m suspecting he could get staked for if someone found out.” I said my mind traveling to the blonde haired vampire.

I had no idea why he was on my mind right now.

“Are you concerned for him?” Dean asked a look of jealousy and disgust on his face.

When I didn’t answer immediately, Dean continued.

“He’s a killer y/n, a leech, you can’t seriously be worrying about him?” Dean growled.

“I’m not.” I told a half lie.

“What is it then?” Dean pushed.

“It’s just everything might not be as black and white as we think that’s all.” I said trying to carefully chose my words.

“I mean they drink human blood to survive how is there any grey area in that?” Dean retorted.

“Some of them didn’t ask for this life, you know they thought they were being saved..” I trailed off thinking of the story Eric told me of his creation.

“It doesn’t change what they are.” Dean said.

I shrugged my shoulders. I guess he was right. At the end of the day they would still be feeding on humans to survive.

We were prey to them.

“I think we should get some sleep.” I said leaning up and pecking his lips quickly.

Dean was not satisfied with how we ended things but he didn’t push further to which I was thankful. Instead he pulled me in closer so my head was laying on his chest.

I felt the exhaustion starting to take a toll on my body, and the darkness starting to envelop me.

I reached my hand up to touch Dean but was surprised to feel the space empty.

Suddenly fingers were hooked in to my sleep shorts pulling them slowly down my legs. I groaned as lips kissed tenderly up my thigh, making my core burn with pleasure. I cast my eyes downward, meeting a pair of green ones.

“Dean.” I moaned as his head dipped down, his breath fanning over my center.

I didn’t know how Dean slipped down there without me noticing but right now I didn’t care.

Instead of devouring me like I wanted, his lips trailed back down to my thigh.

I could feel my blood pumping with need and desire.

“Beg me for it.” Dean commanded.

Didn’t need to tell me twice.

“Oh god please Dean.” I begged running my hands through his hair.

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my thigh.

I gasped looking down but instead of Dean, Eric was there with extended fangs, licking blood off his lips

What the fuck is going on?

Am I dreaming?

I’ve got to be dreaming.

A million questions surged through my head.

How?

When?

Why?

“Eric?” I blushed trying to hide my body from him.

“The femoral artery, like the jugular if pierced wrong can cause you to bleed out in mere minutes.” Eric said licking my thigh.

I looked down realizing blood was seeping out from too little pin pricks. I could feel my heart start to race but it wasn’t from fear… rather excitement.

What was wrong with me?

Was I turned on by this?

“It is indeed the best place to draw blood, so pleasurable and not just for me.” Eric said dipping his head back down, sinking his fangs in to my thigh.

I threw my head back with a moan as Eric drank my blood. His long fingers trailed up my thigh, dipping in to my folds that were already slick with arousal.

Oh god this was so wrong.

But it felt so good I didn’t want to stop.

But Dean?

Fuck!

As I was about to push Eric away, I felt lips against my neck, a hand trailing down my shirt to play with my hardened nipples.

I sat up a little seeing Dean now behind me.

Okay now I know I am in fact dreaming. These two can’t even be in the same room together, let alone take turns pleasuring me.

Eric removed his fangs and started to devour my core, his tongue working expertly up and down my folds.

“Oh god.” I moaned, biting my lip.

Dean trailed his fingers down further and started rubbing circles on my bundle of nerves, making my body writhe with pleasure.

“Mmm such a good girl, wouldn’t you agree Eric?” Dean whispered with a husky tone that made my legs shake.

"Mmm, the best girl.” Eric said removing his mouth from my folds momentarily before diving back in.

I felt the coil in my stomach winding tighter and tighter, begging to spring free. The sensation of Eric devouring me with his mouth while Dean worked me with his fingers was too much to bare. I was so close and then….

I sprang up, gasping for air.

The room was still dark, however sunlight started filtering through the curtains.

I guessed it was just after sunrise.

I looked to my left seeing Dean sound asleep. Eric was nowhere to be found.

“Of course not dummy, he’s dead during the day” my brain screamed at me.

I wiped the sweat from my forehead trying to calm my racing heart.

Why in the fuck would I dream of Eric pleasuring me?

Dean makes sense but Eric?

Eric?

A thousand year old vampire?

What the fuck was wrong with me!?

The worst part is he bit me, he bit me and I enjoyed it.

I deduced I was in need of some serious therapy and counseling.

I took a few deep breaths before laying back down next to Dean. I tossed and turned for what felt like hours before finally succumbing to pure exhaustion.

I woke up to a hand running through my hair. I was hesitant to open my eyes, my dream still at the forefront of my mind.

I was relieved when all I saw was Dean.

“It’s almost sunset.” Dean said placing a soft kiss to my forehead.

I groaned in response causing Dean to laugh.

“I’m not looking forward to this either.” Dean said getting out of the bed and heading towards the bathroom.

I sat up stretching my limbs. I was dreading having to face Eric after the impure dream I had about him.

I was still struggling to understand why I was dreaming about him in that way. I mean sure he was attractive, but he was a monster and I was the one who hunted him.

I didn’t realize how long I sat there in my head until Dean was coming out of the bathroom freshly showered.

I quickly collected myself so I didn't look like a mess.

Dean could NOT find out about this.

I rushed in to the bathroom turning on the cold water. I splashed my face a couple times trying to calm my shaking hands.

Fuck.

Get it together.

I stepped out getting dressed for the night. Dean was already ready to go, reloading uv bullets in both guns.

“Sam?” I asked lacing my boots.

“He’s keeping the police off our backs for now, he’ll meet up with us later.” Dean said tossing me my weapon.

I grabbed some colloidal sliver as well as a couple silver daggers.

“Alright, let’s do this.” I sighed.

Dean grabbed my hand pulling me to his chest.

“If shit goes down, you get out, and I’ll come find you.” Dean said placing a gentle hand on my cheek.

“You and I both know that isn’t happening, we’re in this together, until the end.” I said looking deeply in his eyes.

Dean leaned down capturing my lips in a passionate kiss.

I wished desperately we could just stay in this moment but that was a fairytale and our lives were anything but. It was more like a constant nightmare if you asked me.

Dean pulled away giving me a silent nod.

It didn’t take us long until we were sat in the fangtasia parking lot.

“If he tries anything, I will kill him.” Dean said pulling the safety off his gun.

“I know you will, you’ve only been chomping at the bullet to since we’ve met him.” I said mimicking his actions.

Dean shrugged knowing I wasn’t wrong. I saw the blonde lady from before opening the door. I guess that was our invitation to go in. I tucked away my gun, climbing out of the impala.

“Oh great they’re back.” The blonde lady spat sarcastically.

“It’s nice to see you again too.” I bit back.

“Pam, play nice now, these humans are here to help us.”

I gulped as soon as I heard his voice.

My mind flooded with the images of him tucked between my legs, my blood dripping off his fangs.

Dean must’ve noticed my unease. He put a hand on the small of my back giving me a reassuring pat.

I pushed past the blonde lady, Pam I now knew was her name, and I walked in to the empty bar. It sure looked a lot different with the lights on. Eric once again was sitting on his ridiculous throne. He smirked at me as soon as our eyes connected.

Dean was quick to catch up with me.

He stood so his shoulder was slightly blocking me from Eric.

“So what’s the plan?” Dean growled.

“Oh no formal introductions, straight to the point huh.” Eric taunted looking at me.

“Eric please, save the jokes, let’s get this over with.” I sighed.

“I for one had a great time last night.” Eric smirked.

I glared at him, silently telling him to shut up.

Dean didn't know about the kiss, and if he found out now, he'd kill Eric and then maybe me.

“Well except for that little part where you broke my nose.” He said.

As he said this the blonde lady flashed her fangs at me. Dean immediately shifted pulling his gun and aiming it at Pam.

“Pam stand down.” Eric commanded.

Pam was protective of him, that was abundantly clear.

I was starting to put the pieces together.

Pam was his progeny.

He created her just as Godric created him.

Dean slowly lowered his gun once there was no threat to me anymore. He gave me a incredulous look as I hadn’t told him that part of the story.

“It looks to me you healed just fine, now please let’s get on with it.” I sassed him.

“As you wish, follow me.” Eric said standing from the throne.

“Where?” Dean quickly ordered.

“What you don’t trust me?” Eric taunted him.

“I don’t trust bloodsuckers no.” Dean retorted.

“Ha, I could snap you in half in just a matter of seconds” Eric threatened.

“I’d really like to see you try, give me a reason to fry you.” Dean growled cocking his gun.

Ugh these two were incorrigible.

“Ok enough of the dick swinging contest are we doing this or not?” I asked rolling my eyes at the men.

I could see Pam for once in agreement with me.

I gestured for Eric to show us what he wanted to. He walked down a hallway leading us to a stairwell.

“Is this your dungeon or something?” I joked.

“Yes.” Eric answered seriously.

Oh you’ve got to be kidding me.

“You first.” Dean growled not trusting Eric to go behind him.

“Guests first, I insist.” Eric said opening the door.

“Seriously?” I groaned, pushing past both men, and starting to walk down the steps.

I heard footsteps following behind me, they weren’t heavy like Dean’s so I knew they were Eric’s. He was close behind me.

I felt a chill run down my spine the closer he got.

“So, tell me y/n have any good dreams lately?” Eric whispered in my ear.

I about lost my footing, as my face went pale.

He knew?

How the fuck did he know that?

I quickly pulled myself together, I wouldn’t let him get under my skin.

“Yes in fact, Dean was in all of them.” I bit back.

“I bet he was.” Eric smirked.

I could hear some low growling sounds as we got to the bottom of the stairs.

He wasn’t kidding it really was a dungeon down here.

I felt Dean once again at my side.

Eric disappeared for a moment pulling a lever.

I heard the growling get louder, a vampire descended from the ceiling suspended by silver chains.

He thrashed around trying to break free, the silver burning his skin as he did so.

“I found this one feeding on a human right outside my bar, he’s new, not yet a month old.” Eric said.

“A newborn, I’m guessing his maker is nowhere to be found.” I said eyeing up the vamp.

He looked weak, I would guess he’d been down here for a few days, starved of blood.”

“Oh on the contraire, his maker is very much around, in fact he’s responsible for the surge of newborns, that’s where we need to go.” Eric said.

“How do you know that?” I asked him.

“We’ve been spending a lot of quality time together lately.” Eric joked.

“Where’s his maker?” Dean asked.

“Only thing I can’t get out of him. What do you think she’s for?” Eric asked nodding at me.

Dean was quick to put an arm out in front of me.

Before Dean could protest Eric spoke.

“Tell me guard dog do you know her blood type?” Eric asked Dean.

“AB Negative.” Dean answered quickly.

I was a little shocked that he knew that, but I guess I had to be given blood a time or two since we started hunting.

“Yes, the rarest of all blood types, a delicious treat for a vampire, a treat that is very very hard to resist.” Eric answered.

Oh great so basically I was crack for vampires.

“I’m not giving any of my blood.” I growled.

“Oh you won’t have to.” Eric said stepping closer to me. “Just your scent alone will drive him mad.” Eric added inhaling.

“Fine.” I said rolling my eyes.

“If it even moves an inch, I’m shooting.” Dean says taking aim at the newborn vampire.

I took a few steps closer to the still thrashing vampire.

Eric was right, as soon as I was within distance, his fangs popped, his neck craned to hiss at me.

“I don’t think you want to do that.” I warned.

He hissed again in response.

“See that gun, it’s loaded with uv administering bullets, it’ll feel like the sun is invading every part of your body, it will be a most unpleasant sensation.” I explained.

Dean aimed the gun a little higher, waiting for the vampire to make a wrong move.

“Don’t make him have to use it, all you have to do is tell us where your maker resides, and all this can go away.”

“Fuck all of you.” The vampire spat.

“Why are you protecting him?” I asked circling him.

“He’s my master.” He answered.

“Well he clearly doesn’t care about you, he left you to fend for yourself.” I pushed.

“He released you?” Eric questioned coming closer to me.

“Yes.” The vampire answered.

“You are no longer his problem then.” Eric said.

“You have no loyalty to him.” I added.

“Shut up all of you please.” The vampire cried out.

Eric and I were trying to break him down, and it was working.

“He wouldn’t care if we killed you right here right now, in fact he wouldn’t even think twice about it.” Eric pushed farther.

“In fact he’ll probably just make another to take your place, it’ll be like you never existed.” I said.

“I think we’ll go ahead and do just that.” Eric said popping out his fangs.

“Alright stop, please I’ll tell you, just don’t kill me”.

Eric gave me a satisfied look before going in the newborn’s face.

“Where is he?” Eric growled.

“He’s got a whole nest next to the old cemetery, he’s stashing humans there to feed us. Please now let me go, I did what you wanted.” He begged.

“You’ve been a great help.” Eric said putting his hand through the newborns chest producing his heart.

I could see betrayal flash on the newborns features as blood seeped from his mouth.

I turned away as Eric crushed his heart in his hand, causing the newborn to explode in to pieces.

“Was that necessary?” I asked kicking a chunk of vampire guts away from me.

“Yes, he broke the law so he must suffer the true death. It was either this or let your boyfriend fry him from the inside, I gave him a quick way out.” Eric said.

I took a deep breath, I needed to get out of here, the smell of vampire guts was starting to make me sick. I ran up the stairs, hearing both men trailing behind me.

“You mortals have such weak stomach’s.” Eric said going behind the bar.

He quickly produced a glass of water for me. I took it gratefully, choosing to ignore his comment.

“I need to go call Sam.” Dean said.

“I’ll be fine, go ahead.” I nodded.

“It’s not you I don’t trust.” Dean said glaring at Eric.

“If I wanted to kill either of you I would’ve done it by now.” Eric shrugs.

“Yeah well I’m still debating about killing you.” Dean said.

“For once we agree on something.” Eric retorted.

“For the love of god both of you stop acting like children!” I said slamming my hand down on the bar top.

I walked to the other side of the bar taking a seat in an empty booth. I was tired of the back and forth. Dean gave me a apologetic look before stepping out to call Sam.

I rolled my eyes as Eric joined me in the booth.

“What do you want now?” I groaned.

“Quite a temper he’s got on him.” Eric said.

“I can see you got your own guard dog.” I said nodding my head towards Pam who looked like she wanted to rip my head off for even daring to breathe the same air as her maker.

“Yes Pam, she’s my..” He started.

“Your progeny.” I cut him off.

“How did you know that?”

“I’m not completely dim Eric, I put the pieces together. I saw how you looked when talking about your maker, it’s the same way Pam looks at you.” I shrugged.

“Jealous?” Eric smirked.

“Did you save her too?” I asked ignoring his comment.

“Yes in fact I did. I didn’t set out to create Pam, but if I didn’t turn her she was going to die, and Pam had a hard life, I thought she deserved a little good.” Eric spoke tenderly.

“I guess you didn’t leave her at least.” I said.

“I never would, I made her this way, it’s my responsibility to look out for her, teach her, just as Godric did me.” Eric said.

“Hmm so you can insightful, good to know.” I said offering him a nod.

“You never answered my question earlier, any good dreams lately?” Eric smirked.

I rolled my eyes at his teasing.

“I guess you’ll never know.” I shrugged.

“I have a feeling your boyfriend doesn’t know either.” Eric pushed.

“Okay I’m debating on killing you now.” I said annoyed.

“It’s okay if you did dream of me, I mean it is a side effect of taking my blood after all.” Eric said nonchalantly leaning back in the seat.

I spit out the water I was drinking as the words left his lips.

“Wait what?”

I don’t remember taking his blood.

I remembered then the kiss, when I pulled away Eric had blood on his lip.

“You see when we kissed, I accidentally cut my lip on my fang and you drank some of my blood. It was what allowed you to break my nose, it gave you a boost of strength. Unfortunately it does come with a few side effects.” Eric explained.

Accidentally?

I somehow didn’t believe that.

“You mean when you forced me to kiss you.” I growled.

“Ah yes forgot about that little detail.”

“Yeah what else did you forget to tell me?” I asked balling my fists.

“You see now that you have my blood inside you, I’ll be able to locate you quickly, and I can feel the things you feel. In return your innately more attracted to me, dreaming of me. You and I are bonded now.” Eric explained.

I suddenly felt very violated.

“I didn’t want that, I didn’t want any of this.” I bit.

Eric chuckled and leaned in close.

“Oh come on you’re not fooling anyone.” He whispered.

I could feel my heartbeat uptick just from his proximity to me. I couldn’t control it, it was as if it completely shut my brain out and was thinking on its own.

“I don’t want anything to do with you, in fact I can’t wait for this whole thing to be over so I never have to see you again.” I growled.

“I think you’re forgetting I feel what you feel, I know that’s a lie.” Eric said sliding a little closer.

“It’s not.” I defended.

“I know you want me.” Eric said placing one of his large hands on my thigh.

I sucked in a sharp breath trying to calm myself.

“You want me just as much as I want you.” Eric added trailing his hand upwards.

I quickly jumped up causing his hand to fall.

“Sorry you’re dead wrong I love Dean.” I growled walking away from him.

I was relieved when Dean came back. I quickly walked over to him wrapping my arms around him. He was surprised for a minute but hugged me back.

I can’t believe I admitted my love for Dean, to Eric of all people.

I seriously needed some therapy now.

“Sam’s going to meet us there.” Dean said.

I nodded my head.

“Let us get a few things and we’ll meet you there.” I nodded to Eric. 

“No chance, I’m coming with you. I don’t trust you mortals either.” Eric said grabbing his jacket.

I guess that was fair.

“Eric, I’m coming with you.” Pam spoke.

“No Pam, I need you to stay here and handle opening. I’ll be fine don’t worry about me.” Eric said walking over to her and placing a kiss on her forehead.

Pam gave me a look, one that said if he gets hurt you’re dead.

I gave her a silent nod that it would be fine. I wouldn’t let Dean kill him.

I might still kill him, but Dean won’t.

Eric followed us back to the impala.

I opened the trunk where we stored all our weapons, or most of them at least. I grabbed a silencer putting it on the end of my pistol, the last thing we needed was to attract more attention.

I grabbed some silver chains as well as some silver bullets in case we ran out of the uv ones. I grabbed a wooden stake, before turning back around.

“Really?” Eric asked rolling his eyes.

“I would stay out of the crossfire if I was you.” I threatened.

Dean smirked as he shut the trunk.

Eric zipped to the old cemetery while Dean and I drove. I could see headlights at the entrance belonging to Sam.

It was eerily quiet.

Eric led the way as Sam, Dean and I aimed our guns, taking in our surroundings.

We walked a few steps seeing and hearing nothing.

“I don’t think anyone’s here.” Sam said.

Of course as he said that, a newborn came out of the dark and lunged towards my neck.

Eric was faster and caught the newborn by the neck while Dean shot a bullet through it’s chest. It immediately sank to the ground in agonizing pain as the uv bullet pulsed in its chest.

As if on queue we were surrounded by insatiable newborns, all looking for one thing, our blood.

I took a deep breath.

“Dog, keep her close, her smell will drive them mad.” Eric said pushing me closer to Dean.

Dean gave Eric an almost silent thank you.

It was as if they were suddenly given a silent command to attack, the newborns rushed towards us fangs bared. I fired multiple rounds finding a different target each time.

I could feel my ears ringing from the gunshots as well as the wailing of newborns who were being fried by the uv bullets.

I stumbled crashing in to Eric.

He caught me quickly standing me up on my feet.

I ran out of bullets shortly after, having to resort to the stake and silver daggers. I was wrestling with a particularly strong vampire, my silver dagger doing little to deter it’s advances. I lost my footing falling to the ground with the vampire. I held an arm to it’s throat keeping it’s fangs away from my face.

It was getting harder and harder to hold it back. I suddenly felt blood splatter on my face as a wooden stake stuck out of the vampires chest.

“Oh fuck.” I heard the vampire groan before exploding.

Dean quickly picked me up brushing me off.

“Dean watch out.” I called.

A vampire was approaching him quickly.

But this one wasn’t a newborn.

It moved far better, it was more experienced.

It was the maker we had been looking for.

And it was coming straight for Dean.

I didn’t know what I was doing until I was already moving.

I quickly shoved Dean out of harm’s way.

 I felt a hand go around my neck and teeth sink in to my flesh.. and then I felt nothing.

Dean

“Dean watch out.” I heard her voice call.

Before I had time to react I was being shoved to the side. I looked up to see a vampire grab her by the neck and sink his teeth in to her throat.

“No!” I screamed, grabbing my gun and firing six or seven silver bullets in to it’s chest.

Eric noticed the commotion and ran up behind the vampire pulling it’s heart out ultimately ending it.

I quickly ran over as y/n slumped to the ground, her hand going up to try and cauterize her wound. I quickly replaced her hand with my own, putting as much pressure as I could to stop the bleeding. I felt the tears already welling up in my eyes as the blood gushed from her neck despite the pressure I applied.

“Dean.” I heard her gasp, her eyes filling with tears.

I was soon joined by Sam.

“Dean, her jugular is severed, what do we do.” Sam panicked.

I didn’t know what to do.

She was losing too much blood too fast.

I let out a sob running my other hand down her cheek.

“It’s okay baby don’t worry, you’re going to be okay.” I sobbed kissing her forehead.

“Dean it’s okay I’m not afraid.”

How could she say it’s okay.

Nothing is okay!

“It’s not okay, please just hang on.” I cried.

“Dean, I’m in the arms of my first love, I’m with the only man I’ve ever loved, I’m okay.” I could hear her choke barely getting it out.

She loved me?

It was the words I had been longing to hear for years, but not now.

“I love you too, I love you so much which is why you can’t leave me.” I begged.

I looked over seeing Sam now crying too.

I looked back to her face, noticing it go paler and paler.

My hand was doing little to stop the massive blood loss.

Her eyes slowly fluttered shut as she lost consciousness.

She was dying.

My love, my world, dying in my arms.

I couldn’t let that happen.

I wouldn’t.

I gently laid her down, grabbing my gun.

I pointed it at Eric who was standing there just watching with furrowed brows.

He acted like he was hurt by the situation, like he cared about her.

“Change her.” I growled.

“Dean, you can’t.” Sam said as he started standing up.

“Sit the fuck down Sam.” I screamed at him.

I turned back around to Eric who still hasn’t moved.

“I said fucking change her, now.” I hissed.

He made no movements.

I fired a single silver bullet right in to his shoulder making him hiss in pain.

“I’m not asking again fucking do it.” I screamed.

“I don’t think you know what you’re asking for.” Eric said.

“I don’t care, I’m not losing her, do it.” I said.

I wasn’t thinking straight, all I could think about was that I didn’t want to live without her.

“I don’t even know if it’ll work.” Eric growled getting closer.

“Try, you fucking owe us that much.” I growled.

Eric gave me one last look before sinking his fangs in her neck wound, completely draining her of blood.

I sank to my knees as he bit his wrist forcing it in her mouth.

“I need you to start digging a hole big enough for the both of us.” He said once her heartbeat stopped.

“Why?” Sam asked.

“It’s either that or she dies from sunlight exposure.” He growled dripping more blood in to her mouth.

“Sam go.” I growled.

“Dean you can’t be serious with this?” Sam protested.

“Goddamnit Sam go.” I yelled.

He gave me one last look before running off to dig a hole. Eric finally yanked his wrist away going to help Sam dig. I crawled over to her now lifeless body.

“I’m so sorry baby, this is all my fault.” I sobbed on her chest, not caring that I was getting covered in her blood.

I didn’t protect her.

I should’ve protected her.

It should’ve been me.

“Alright move.” Eric growled pushing me off of her.

I grabbed my gun pointing it at him. I wanted nothing more than to kill him right then and there, but if this worked, she would need him.

He lifted her carefully in his arms jumping down in the hole that was dug. He gently laid her down, before laying down himself and cuddling her body to his chest.

I couldn’t stand the sight,

“Now cover us up. No sunlight can seep through or we’ll both die.” He growled.

“How will I know if it worked?” I said utterly defeated.

“If she wakes up tomorrow night, you’ll know.” Eric said.

I grabbed a shovel dumping dirt over them.

I couldn’t stop the tears from falling as I buried her.

Once I was sure she was far enough underground I collapsed as my body racked with sobs.

“Dean what did you do?” Sam questions sitting down beside me.

“I don’t know Sam, I couldn’t let her go.” I cried.

“It would’ve been better than this, Dean she wouldn’t want this.” Sam said.

I felt rage cloud over my eyes. I turned around shoving Sam.

“It wouldn’t have been better how can you say that?” I seethed.

“Dean I loved her too.” He started.

“No you didn’t, not like I did.” I whispered.

“So what you’re just going to wait here until tomorrow night?” He scoffed.

“If I have too.” I snapped.

I didn’t care what it took.

I was going to see her again.

“I’m sorry Dean but I can’t be part of this, I won’t.” Sam said.

I didn’t answer him.

If he didn’t want to be apart of this then he can go.

“Dean?” Sam pushed again as if he was going to change my mind.

When I didn’t answer him for the second time he finally left.

I brought my knees to my chest laying down beside the pile of dirt that contained her. I felt as if I died right along with her.

Reader

Am I dead?

Is this what death is like?

A permanent darkness?

I felt something cold and heavy on my body.

Where was I?

I can’t remember anything.

I felt something stir beside me alerting all of my senses.

I tried to move my hand and realized I was surrounded by dirt.

Was I buried alive?

What was going on?

I was panicking now.

I quickly started digging trying to free myself.

I was suddenly being ripped from the dirt by a strong hand.

Moonlight flooded my eyes as I took a sharp breath in.

It however provided no relief to my burning throat.

“It’s okay, everything is okay.” I quickly flipped around seeing a tall blonde.

I felt my memories come back like a flash flood.

Eric. Dean. Vampires. Death.

I died.

But I was still here.

That’s impossible.

Unless….

“I’m a..” I started too stunned to speak.

“A vampire.” Eric finished.

I looked at him, suddenly feeling a pull towards him, an unexplainable urge to protect and care for him.

I realized then that he was my maker.

He did this to me.

“I don’t understand.” I said grabbing my throat that was still burning.

“I saved you, you were dying and I saved you.” Eric said taking a step closer.

I found that my vampire self didn’t want him to step away, I wanted him to take me in his arms and tell me everything was going to be okay.

“I’m so..”

“Thirsty, I know, I’m going to take care of you.” Eric said.

Thirsty.

For blood.

I craved blood.

It made me sick, but I needed it.

Eric was about to take me away when a voice caught my attention.

“y/n?”

Dean

I laid by the freshly dug grave until I could see the sun starting to set.

If this worked she’d be up soon.

Please god let it work.

I sat up when I heard something stirring.

Eric arose out of the grave, eyes clouding with fury when he saw me standing there.

“You need to leave now.” He growled.

No fucking way.

“I’m not leaving.” I pushed back.

“Look she will be insatiable, and you’re covered in blood, so unless you want her to have your death on her conscience for eternity you’ll leave.” Eric said this time putting his hands on me and shoving me away from the grave.

“It worked?” I asked ignoring his request.

I couldn’t believe it worked.

“I need to see her.” I said, standing my ground.

“I need to feed her, so unless you want to become her meal you’ll leave. This is the last chance I’m offering you!” Eric growled.

I hesitantly backed up.

I didn’t want to torment her new senses.

I sighed before jogging off in to the tree line so I was out of sight.

I watched as Eric stuck his hand in the dirt pulling her out.

She still looked like herself, but everything was more defined now.

I felt my heart break as her eyes looked around terrified.

Oh god..

What did I do?

“It’s okay, everything is okay.” Eric assured her. 

Her face contorted with realization.

“I’m a..”

“A vampire.” Eric confirmed for her.

I could see her heartbreaking for just her face.

She didn’t want this.

I did this.

Oh god.

What did I do?

I felt the tears start to cloud my vision.

I was completely selfish.

Sam was right, she didn’t want this. But I wouldn’t listen.

“I’m going to take care of you.” I heard Eric say as he went to leave with her.

I couldn’t let him.

I stepped out of the tree line.

“y/n?”

She quickly whipped around in my direction. I saw her eyebrows contort in pain as she looked at me. Eric grabbed her hand bringing her to his side.

“It’s okay y/n, come here, I’ll help you.” I said taking a step closer.

She didn’t budge. Instead just stared at me with longing eyes.

I heard Eric chuckle making me growl.

“Remember that part where I said you had no idea what you were asking for?” Eric taunted.

“y/n come here.” I said again choosing to ignore him.

“Sorry, she only listens to me, she calls me daddy now.” Eric jabbed.

No.

This was all wrong.

This isn’t what I wanted.

I felt my hands shaking.

What did I do?

Part Two: Coming Soon!

[starry-bi-sky]

Clone^2 danny headcanons and/or facts that i wanted to expand on but didn't have the motivation or inspiration to write a ficlet about. Ultimately most of these are ideas that already exist in canon clone^2 but are only now being expanded on/explored/stated specifically.

Because I'm procrasinating cfau and passively thinking about clone danny and damian again.

1 - As he's liminal, Danny generates his own ectoplasm. He generates it at a slower rate than the casual ghost but faster than the average liminal. It's what gives him an ecto-signature and results in him triggering his parents' weapons and ecto-sensors.

The ectoplasm he generates actually has a use, and he tends to burn through his supply while he's fighting because of all the physical energy he spends + the use of his scary eyes requires (albeit really minor amounts of) ectoplasm to use. It also has health benefits, as using his ectoplasm keeps his heartbeat steady and lessens the risk of his arrhythmia flaring up due to all of his physical activity and adrenaline.

It does happen occasionally that he uses up more ectoplasm than he can replace, and this has the expected negative effects on his health as all that adrenaline and stress catches up to his heart without a buffer to mitigate it. He carries a canteen full of diluted ectoplasm with him in order to give his system the boost it needs in order to stabilize itself, which he can usually tell when he needs due to excessive fatigue/chest pains/dizziness/other arrhythmia symptoms he gets that means he's low on ectoplasm.

2 - Danny's arrhythmia is a form of bradycardia (which is a slower heartbeat) -- what type? Unspecified / Unknown thanks to it being ectoplasmic in nature.

3 - In that same breath, Danny also has to burn that ectoplasm off in some form or another because if he doesn't it builds up and causes him the same issues as if he was too low. It also causes him to become more emotionally volatile, restless, irritable, overstimulated, etc, which the stress of that then makes his heart condition worsen. If too much ectoplasm builds up, it'll cause a physical electrical shock/shortage. This is rare however, and usually is the equivalent of giving someone a painful static shock. At best it makes the lights flicker or technology fritz out for a few seconds.

While it doesn't have much effect on the physical world, it does expend a good chunk of ectoplasm. Think like dumping out a heavy bucket of water that you've been carrying for a while, or getting into a hot shower after being outside in the cold for hours. It's emotionally draining but very relieving.

4 - Danny can replenish ectoplasm or generate ectoplasm faster by resting, eating, consuming other ectoplasm (fastest), fulfilling his interests / doing things that makes him happy, or by being exposed to high amounts of ectoplasm in the area. He can also rapidly generate it by being in a volatile emotional state, but that drains ectoplasm almost as quickly, and runs the risk of causing flare ups in his arrhythmia.

5 - this is actually canon to the au but I figured it wouldn't hurt to expand more on it / clarify / confirm, but Danny post-Damian has chronic pain in his hands from the nerve damage he sustained. He has daily physical therapy exercises he's supposed to do that he does in the mornings/evenings and whenever his hands hurt/feel stiff. He wears compression gloves in his day-to-day life and gets Sam and Tucker's help to brainstorm ideas about how to make compression gloves for Phantom that can include his knuckledusters. His grip and hand strength is weakened.

He has bad hand days where his hands hurt more than usual. This can happen at random, but is more common after he's overused/strained his hands either the day before or earlier in the day. His fingers stiffen up for similar reasons, and he gets tremors. It's happened before where (for example) he's braiding his hair and unbraiding it, only to need someone else to finish the braid because his fingers stiffened up and don't want to work like he wants them to.

Massages, heat, pressure, etc. helps soothe the pain, and since Danny's a fidgety person his friends and family can usually tell when he has a flare up because any hand movements he was doing prior ceased/slowed suddenly, or he starts massaging his hands / stretching out his fingers.

Damian very stubbornly insists on massaging his hands for him when this happens, he has a lot of intense guilt for being the reason for Danny's chronic pain so he wants to alleviate it in anyway he can.

6 - Danny has what I like to call "Bruce-isms", a word I came up with just now that means he has Bruce Wayne mannerisms that come from the fact that he's still Bruce's clone. A Nature vs. Nurture thing. His Bruce-isms include the Bruce Grunts Of Ambiguous Tonal Meaning ("hm", "hrm", "hn"), his workaholism, his paranoia (on a milder scale), etc. They're small, relatively non-defining things that are quirks but don't make up his personality.

He's got what Sam and Tucker like to call "Bruce Wayne Moments" which are essentially Bruce-isms but only ones that Danny and his friends are aware of considering they only know Bruce as Brucie Wayne and not Batman. "Bruce Wayne Moments" include Danny being clumsy, doing something air-headed, being oblivious, etc. It's not a common joke among the three of them since Tucker and Sam know that Danny's still pr sensitive to the whole clone thing. So they only bring it up when he's done something stupid but hilarious.

7 - while clone^2 focuses more on Danny and Damian's relationship and Danny helping Damian develop his identity beyond just "Damian Wayne's Clone", Danny still suffers from his own identity crises. He sometimes gets jealous of Ellie and Damian for being "lucky" that they always knew they were clones, rather than finding out later in life.

He's aware that this is not fair to think and that Damian and Ellie both have their own struggles as clones, but he can't help it sometimes.

He tries not to think about it too much, but when things get too quiet or when he's not busy, Danny can't help but wonder how much of himself is things he's learned on his own and come from him, and how much of it comes from being Bruce Wayne's clone. He has to stop and count how many things are unique about him specifically when he starts to emotionally spiral. It's not rational, but it's not supposed to be.

As a result Danny kinda, hm, clings to his identity as the Phantom, just a little bit? He thinks it's one of the few things that he has autonomous control over as "Danny Fenton", rather than it being a result of him being Bruce Wayne's clone. Because Bruce Wayne isn't a vigilante! Right? Right?

Consequently this becomes one of the reasons that Damian keeps mum about Bruce Wayne's identity. The original reasons were because Danny asked not to know much about the LoA beyond what Damian already told him, and Batman was technically "apart" of the LoA, and secondly because he just didn't want Danny to get involved with Batman and co and Danny knowing about Bruce Wayne's identity could potentially cause that.

But as time goes on Damian kinda notices like, just how being a clone is affecting Danny even if he hides it from Damian pretty well. He can't really comprehend what it was like for Danny to grow up thinking he was normal like everyone else only to find out he was a clone, but he does see the hurt it's causing his brother. And he does notice that Danny was holding onto being Phantom quite a bit, and figured that if he found out Bruce Wayne was also a vigilante, it would hurt him beyond belief.

8 - So Danny's creation has been kept relatively,,, mmm,,, vague? considering I've been struggling for a time how I could plausibly have his creation happen without Bruce finding out about it immediately. And my conclusion is that around the time Danny was created, Bruce met up with the Fenton parents again for some reason or another -- checking out their tech under the guise of wanting to catch up with them.

And I can imagine that, due to being close friends in college, the Fentons literally just outright told him, "Hey we wanna 'nother kid but don't want to go through the risk of pregnancy again, so we're gonna make a clone of one of us instead"

and in true Bruce fashion, he mentally went "wow i should learn Everything And Anything About This Thing Specifically. Just In Case." and outwardly went "woah cool! ahaha how does it work"

and since the Fentons consider Bruce a close friend and are also incapable of Not Talking About Science, turned and went "OH WE CAN SHOW YOU" and showed Bruce their entire cloning process up to and including how they (safely) extracted the DNA they were gonna use. of which they already had. they were gonna just extract Jack's DNA a second time as an example, but it was Bruce who said "hey you should try me instead" in order to gauge how exactly safe this was and if there were any symptoms he would need to recognize in cloning.

so with his consent they did, and then showed him how they were going to use the DNA to make a clone without actually going through the process. Without prompting from Bruce, the Fentons went "we're gonna throw your DNA away though since we don't want this lying around and because we have no use for it" and visibly showed him that they were disposing it.

Bruce came to the conclusion that the Fentons weren't planning anything nefarious, they just really wanted another kid, and (reluctantly) left afterwards. The mixup comes when Maddie, surprisingly, misplaces the cartridge with Jack's DNA in it and while they could have always gotten another sample, it was better and safer to just try and find the original before that.

Jack finds Bruce's in their disposable. In his excitement, he forgets that it was Bruce's DNA, and manages to get it out safely. Maddie wasn't looking when he found it, and in her excitement also forgot to ask where Jack found it. They used that cartridge instead.

When they found out they used the wrong DNA, Danny was already about year old and while Jack and Maddie are morally dubious, they're only morally dubious towards ghosts. Danny was their beloved human baby, they would never do anything to him.

That being said, they were still horrified when they found out, and really, they genuinely did consider reaching out to Bruce to tell him. They thought it was something he deserved to know since it was his DNA that got used instead, and they felt awfully guilty after he trusted them enough to let them draw DNA from him. The only reason they hadn't is because, at the time, Bruce had been really busy with something in his public life and they didn't want to bother him during such a stressful time.

So they were going to wait, and in Fenton-like fashion, forgot to tell him. When the subject came up again sometime later, they assumed they already told Bruce and went about their day.

[angelsdean]

Also, since I'm divorce arc posting today, what if i said Dean wasn't wrong to say this:

CASTIEL The plan changed, Dean. Something went wrong. You know this. Something always goes wrong. DEAN Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?

LIKE !!!!! Sure it was harsh and if emotions weren't heightened already and Dean wasn't still dealing with the very recent death of his mother and that grief (anger being a stage of grief!) and ALL the Chuck shit on top of that AND his own complicated feelings re: Jack's death (bc Dean was Not going to kill him, despite Chuck trying to manipulate him into doing that) he probably wouldn't have said that to Cas but like?? he's not really wrong.

You can easily trace a lot of the major season conflicts as a long line of dominoes starting with Cas's s6 betrayal. Leviathans. Purgatory. The tablets. Angels falling. Lucifer getting out of the cage via Cas possession. Etc etc. And most of the time Cas was doing things from a place of good intentions in his POV. Trying to fix things or spare others the burden of doing the hard thing. But still, these plans often backfire for Cas. Going it alone, not letting Dean (+ Sam) in on his plans, it usually does not end well !!!! They are TEAM Free Will for a reason. The show (and Dean) continuously emphasizes the importance of team and family and not going it alone. So, while what Dean says to Cas in this scene is definitely a harsh pill to swallow and not something I think Dean would say to Cas in normal circumstances, he technically isn't wrong. And that's what makes it such a heart-breaking scene.

And even more-so, he's saying this but he still, at his core doesn't want Cas to leave. ("Of course I wanted you to stay.") At the moment he needs space and time to process his grief re: Mary, and all the other stuff going on, but he still wants Cas there and ultimately wants to fix things. ("I'd rather have you." "We can fix this." "I was there where were you." etc etc)

But to fix things they need to address his huge persistent, recurring issue between them: not communicating effectively and Cas continuously leaving, going rogue, and/or deciding for them when to involve Dean.

Dean wants to work together, as a team. Dean wants to be involved. Dean wants Cas to not just up and disappear and "deal with things" on his own like he always does. Cas, in his own POV, sees his actions as perhaps a form of care. He's protecting! He's taking on the hardships! Also, his hubris, wanting to be the strong protector type. Wanting to be a warrior. Powerful. Securing "wins." And these desires stem from his years as a soldier of Heaven, of equating worth with Results. Not something Dean has put on him or required of him.

But Dean doesn't see Cas's actions the way Cas perceives them. We as the omniscient audience know more about Cas's motivations than Dean does too. Dean often just sees Cas leaving, prioritizing the mission and shutting Dean out. However, I do think it's important to note that Dean is also usually willing to give Cas the benefit of the doubt, defend him, and forgives easily / implicitly.

They both care deeply about each other and don't maliciously mean to press on each other's specific insecurities and traumas but like, Dean is abandonment issues boy. And Cas keeps leaving. Or ignoring his calls when their daily lives are a constant life or death battle because they are literally living in a horror show! Dean is not unreasonable to be worried when he doesn't hear from Cas for days, weeks, months on end. He's not being "clingy" or "demanding." Expecting some base form of communication from the people you care about is normal in any relationship. Cas refusing to communicate in these moments IS a problem between them.

So, when Dean says, "Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?" re: Cas being the "problem" it's harsh yes! But it's pushing them toward addressing this recurring issue (Cas going rogue often = plans backfiring) and the root of that issue which is Cas continuing to leave to do things on his own, change the game-plan without running it by anyone, and keeping others out. This moment is a breaking point. Because Dean, under normal circumstances, is generally one to defend, forgive, and move past Cas's mistakes. Cas himself says it in this very scene: "You used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt."

But at this point something needs to give, they need an explosive moment to just bring all these issues to light. It's a rupture.

Yes, Dean might "still blame [Cas] for Mary" but Cas also knows deeply, as he expresses to Jack, that Dean needs time and space to process his emotions. That he feels things more acutely and intensely but that ultimately he usually comes to a place of acceptance / forgiveness / is able to move on.

That's what Dean wants and needs in this moment. He needs space to deal with his feelings and his grief (clearly in the anger stage of it). And he also wants to finally address these issues! But Cas is also struggling himself and in his own mind he's feeding old insecurities. He let Belphegor get under his skin. He thinks he's not needed or wanted anymore. So, he does what he tends to do. Leave.

CASTIEL Well, I don't think there's anything left to say. [Castiel makes to leave.] DEAN Where you going?

Cas decides to leave and Dean immediately asks where are you going? Because even now, feeling how he does, he doesn't want Cas to leave.

What Dean wants is to have a confrontation. He wants to get to the root of their issues. He asks Cas why didn't he just stick to the plan. And emphasizes the concept of WE, of being a team. "We would've figured it out....after. With Rowena." He wants them to stick together, work together. But he's struggling. He's grieving. And still, he wants Cas to stay, of course I wanted you to stay.

And I say it all here in this post but the whole "I left but you didn't stop me" is just, Cas really? From Dean's POV he sees Cas's leaving as a choice Cas makes. He respects his choice and doesn't ask him to stay because he also does not feel he deserves to ask people to stay for him. He is always putting his own wants and desires second to those of others. He thinks, if Cas wants to leave, who is he to stop him?

Anyways, I think too much of divorce arc puts blame on Dean or makes Dean out to be "the bad guy" and "the reason" Cas leaves and the one who needs to "grovel" and apologize / be forgiven. But Cas is not blameless. Cas leaves because Cas leaves. Cas leaves because he chooses to and because he does not want to confront the realities of the situation or his own role in their issues. And after Cas leaves he continues to bury his head in the sand and be avoidant (thee core issue!) while also going out and working a solo case in an effort to secure a "win" and prove to himself that he's still capable of getting things right and not always failing.

And all of this, the complexity, the layers, Cas's stubbornness and flaws, is deeply delicious to me. Cas is not a blameless innocent little baby who got his feelings hurt by "big meanie Dean" in this situation. He is someone who heard a hard truth from someone he cares about and made the choice to leave instead of confronting the issue. And throughout it all, they both still deeply care about each other. It's evident in everything they do. And they want to work it out, but are both at different places and struggling with their own feelings too.

[azrael08]

So, I was on my daily re-watch of 15x08 and I got to the part of the episode where they catch Michael and do their whole interrogation scene. Was watching the part where Dean starts saying to Adam “There’s nothing we can say to fix that-” and then Adam gives him the look and says “How about, I’m sorry” yes yes very sad, but I’m about to make it hurt more.

I noticed that Adam dead-stares Dean in this scene, when Michael puts him in control earlier in the scene he’s like normal Adam, fair-going and happiy-ish. But when it gets to this part he just looses all that and just lets his words really get through to Dean (and Sam off screen).

But then Dean does this little pull back thing and call me crazy but that totally looks like the classic ‘Dean, I can’t admit my actual feelings, Winchester’ face.

Taking in Adam’s words face:

Realising he can’t say I’m sorry face:

Don’t get me wrong, I do think Sam and Dean regret leaving Adam in the cage but they’ve forgotten about him, or at least they thought he died in the cage but it’s only now that Adam is actually here in front of them that they want to do the morally ‘right’ thing and say sorry. But they can’t, not truthfully, because Adam will always be a reminder that John Winchester failed them at being a parent. That he was unfaithful to them and Mary and lied to them everyday.

So that’s Dean’s realisation in this moment right. And Adam probably saw that realisation by looking at Dean’s face. But then before he can say anything else Michael forcefully takes the front seat again.

I mean look at this sequence:

“Enough.”

Mans is in distress

And the fact that we haven’t seen Michael take control of their body like this before, never this aggressively anyway, leads me to think that something is different about this moment.

My guess is that when Adam realised Dean wasn’t going to apologise and own up for his and Sam’s actions, he got this overwhelming wave of emotion. Mainly disappointment, he knew that his brothers were awful and doesn’t forgive them for leaving him behind but he was willing to. He was willing to get some closure about their actions but they weren’t, and that’s hurts. Michael probably saw these thoughts, heard them, heard exactly how much underlying anger and pain that Adam had been hiding and it was all just now bubbling to the surface.

So Michael - the notoriously emotionally stunned Archangel he is, who already hated Dean viscerally - quickly wanted to calm Adam down and ease the pain that was going to explode any second but now Dean’s upsetting Adam!? Michael probably freaked and just shoved Adam to the back seat while he took control. Which is why his reaction was so extra because he didn’t tell Adam he was taking over he just did. Because he didn’t want Adam to hurt anymore than he already has.

Like even Dean knew something was up, he looks them up and down and turns away like “nah, Adam’s boyfriend gone crazy y’all I’m out”

[chronicallyblyrie]

TMAGP 20 Live thoughts! spoilers ahead

this one is a day late simply because I'm on summer break now and I'm already forgetting what day of the week it is

-I already saw something in the description about ink5oul lets go I'm ready

-okay its our little trio hi guys

-Alice i swear to god fucking LISTEN TO HIM PLEASE

-Who killed it???

-whaaaat??

-Oh shoot is this going back to the ennacting the protocol thingy??

-the government conspiracies are fun though Alice :(

-ah yes the case that made Isaac Newton canon to the TMAGP lore

-no its definitely the same protocol

-WHAAAAT

-oh god its another email from John isnt it

-gibberish email address???

-Okay so Alice does believe in the horrors then???

-I mean yeah Sam she is very right you chose to work for the government that is the most shady thing you can do

-oh so they were trying to end the world AGAIN

-Celia might just be right, its almost like she has PRIOR EXPERIENCE

-yessss keep celia in on this shit show please

-GWEEN

-IN5OUL??

-Oh! tattooing corpses!

-Gwen is not the type for tattoos ink5oul

-"you've got lovely skin" that was a very nikola orsinov line

-Yes the government

-No they want you as an "external"

-Yeah shes new sorry ink5oul

-So they dont even wanna mutilate people with tattoos???

-So somehow having fans made them into an avatar or smth??? im just guessing externals and avatars are basically one in the same

-is this our statement/case for today

-this podcast really makes you look at social media in a different way

-tattooed WHAT

-damn so this is where the fucked up ink comes from that mutilates people right?

-yeah as a tarot lover I can't tell if I'd be pissed off too or if I'd be happy with the tattoo artist giving me a detailed ass sun tattoo after lying and showing me the wrong design

-"ITS BUUUUURNS"

-oh!

-oh so this is how you become an avatar

-guys.. I think I know how to kickstart my youtube career

-I imagine Gwen just standing here rn while listening to this mf yap

-so the tattoos are the ultimate anti-aging skincare

-rather disturbing is probably putting it lightly

-CHEMICAL COCKTAILS??

-were they chloroforming these clients

-mf you get a high on tattooing???

-okay so definitely an avatar, the whole talk of "wanting to make people afraid" and "needing" it is just a fear avatar needing their daily dose of people being horrified

-Oh so thats why they have corpses

-eloquent indeed!

-GWEN THEY ARE GOING TO KILL YOU SHUT TF UP

-WTF

-GWEN IS GONNA GET FUCKING KILLED SHE NEEDED THAT SECURITY

[gaysindistress]

I love u like I’ll get on my knees 😍😍😍😍 CAN U PLEASEEEE PLEASEEEE do TFAWS!Bucky x Latina reader?? maybe more specifically Brazilian?? we need some rep 🥺🥺 HAHA actually though like reader is good friends with Sam and Sam introduces them? Please, and thank u the dead love of my life

AHAHHAAHWH MY FIRST REQUEST!!!! thank you so much love!!

Okay okay so here’s a little Drabble for ya! I feel like this could be a full one shot?? Maybe after my follower celebration that starts on Friday! Also I wrote this on my phone so I apologize if there are any spelling/grammar errors.

Anjo -Portuguese for “angel”

mãe - Portuguese for “mom”

Warnings: cursing

Word count: 1.2k (this was only meant to be 500ish words…)

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest

“Please tell me that you didn’t text him,” My coworker asks with an edge of dread and disgust in her voice. For the last two hours of our shift, Lilly has been on me about the guy who left me his number yesterday.

It had been a slow day with only regulars really coming in so a decent looking young guy walking in felt like Christmas. Lils was on it and immediately put on her best flirt, fluttering her big eyes and matching lashes at him when he ordered. I wanted to laugh at the scene but that died when he flashed a smile my way and handed me his number. It was quickly followed by some passing comment about how he hates it when girls throw themselves at him. I had half a mind to throw his coffee on him but I knew my boss would have my head. I settled for plastering a fake smile on my face and saying “Vai pro caralho.” Of course the ignorant asshole thought I was being nice and winked at me. It took all of my strength to not shutter in disgust.

“You should know me better than that,” I throw back at her, “from that 2 minute interaction alone, I can already tell that he would talk about himself the entire date before saying something borderline foul like how Latinas girls are his favorite and he can’t stand white girls .”

Lils snorts as she takes a sip of her coffee, nearly choking and sending the hot liquid flying over the freshly cleaned counter. I arch a dark brow at her which makes her laugh even harder.

“What? Am I wrong? You can’t tell me that he wouldn’t have pulled out that high school Spanish to impress me.”

“No, no,” she stutters, wiping the coffee up, “it just caught me off guard is all. Wait, didn’t you say something to him in Spanish before he left? What did you say?”

I narrow my eyes at her, “Vai pro caralho? Babes you should know better.”

She looks at me in horror, “oh my god it was Portuguese, wasn’t it?”

I nod as she profusely apologizes, “I am so sorry, Y/N. Oh my god I’m not better than that asshat. Ugh, what does that mean though?”

The front door opens before I have the chance to speak and the little bells above alerts us to the one regular that never fails to put a smile on my face. Sam had been coming in since before I started working at Brewed Awakenings but after that first interaction, he came pretty much daily. He even got Sarah his sister to start coming in and within a matter of a few weeks, I was invited over for Sunday dinner.

“It means Go fuck yourself,” I tell Lils as I round the counter with a bright smile and wide arms. Sam matches me and wraps me into a tight hug.

“Good morn, Anjo. How are you?” He asks as he squeezes me into this chest.

I pull back and give him my best angry mãe look we I demand to know where he’s been for the last few weeks.

He holds his hands up in defense as he says, “put those eyes away, Anjo. Im sorry okay? I was on official business and I didn’t have time to swing by to let you know but I’m back.”

I don’t let up my expression at first and lecture him some more, “You better be. You were gone for like…”

I pause for dramatic effect to pretend to count the time while walking back around the counter, “6 weeks. I was about to send out a search and rescue team to find you. Ridiculous.”

Sam chuckles while shaking his head at me. He steps to the side to reveal a man that’s been standing behind him and one that I hadn’t noticed before.

A damn attractive man.

Albeit a bit judgmental given the looks he’s throwing at the both of us.

“I wasn’t gone that long,” Sam tries but stops when I shot him another mãe look. He quickly changes the subject, clapping his hand on his companion’s shoulder and introducing him, “well this is Bucky. He’s the reason I was gone so if you’re going to be mad at anyone, be mad at him.”

Bucky.

He looks familiar but I can’t quite figure out why. The massive resting bitch face forced me I stop the search before offering him a bright smile as I repeat his name.

This seems to…irritate him? I honestly can’t tell with the stone wall of moodiness and brooding that lives on his drop dead gorgeous face.

“Well welcome in Bucky, I’m Lilly but everyone calls me Lils and this is y/n,” Lils jumps in with an equally wide smile. His dark eyes flicker between us but hover half a second longer on me. He utters a low “thank you” and looks up to the menu.

Sam rolls his eyes at his short answer but his ever present smile never fades as he orders his usual, a large hot mocha with soy milk. I’ve tried to get him to switch to coconut or even hemp milk but he refuses. He always gives me the whole speech about how “soy is the closest to real milk and if I’m going to drink alternative milk, it has to be close to the real thing.”

“And for you?” I turn my attention to Bucky while Lils starts on Sam’s order. He looks me with slightly wide eyes, a little startled it seems that I’m still talking to and looking at him.

He freezes for a moment, “uh…um a large house coffee.”

“Of course,” Lils jumps in once again and slides a cup across the counter to him. The loud volume of her voice causes him to flinch and Sam instinctively steps in front of him. He takes the cup without another word and fills it while Sam pays and throws a shamelessly flirty smile to Lils. She mocks faintly in a fit of giggles and winks at him.

Sam turns his attention to him and subtlety jerks his chin towards the door, wordlessly asking me if I’ll walk them out. Lils caught it too and rolls her eyes before shooing us out the door.

“She means no harm. She’s just…cheery,” I tell Bucky when the door closes behind us and we step onto the side walk, “I can tell her to tone it back for when you come in next.”

Sam chuckles under his breath and tries to hide a smile behind his cup but fails miserably. Bucky shots him another one of those bored looks and rolls his beautiful eyes at him.

“You don’t have to do that,” he finally says to me and actually makes eye contact with me, “Y/N.”

I offer him another wide smile and stick my hand for him to shake. He glances down at my watch and rings before taking my hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, Bucky. Don’t let Sam fill your head with too many tales and I hope to see you soon.”

The man in question basically squawks in protests as I hug him goodbye and disappear back into the coffee shop.

About an hour after I get home, I get a text from Sam saying something along the lines of “Robo cop liked you and asked for your number.”

Moments later a D.C. number sends me a text and I quickly save it under “Bucky (aka Robo Cop according to Sam)”

That’s when it clicks who he is; Bucky Barnes, the former Winter Solider and the most attractive man I’ve ever met.

[inneedofsupervision]

I didn't ask, did I? (Chapter 8)

Happy begrudgingly steps aside and walks after Tony into the diner. The billionaire skillfully ignores the gasps of surprise and the poor attempt to take pictures of him secretly as he strides straight up to the counter. "Two cheeseburgers and a large fry. To go." "Please get in line and wait for your turn, Sir." "Excuse me?" Tony slowly pulls his sunglasses down and glances at the skinny teen behind the register. "Bad hearing comes with age, huh?" mutters the teen under his breath. Happy makes a choking sound behind him. ___________________ Or, how Tony Stark gets sassed by some high schooler working part-time and makes it his mission to figure out what he did to make this kid he'd never seen hate him. If that means annoying the hell out of said high schooler, that's not his problem.

Chapter: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10

Chapter Summary: During his lab time, Tony gathers new information about Peter Parker.

(Read on Ao3)

“Why are we lingering around here?”

Clint stands before his colleagues, his hands on his hips, glancing curiously at the people gathered in the hallway.

“We watch Tony talk on the phone.”

"Ah."

The archer peeks at where Sam is pointing, and his eyes fall on Tony, who is wildly gesticulating. The glass separating them from the conference room had to be isolated well because the man behind looked like he did not hold back on the decibels.

"Fury?"

"Fury," Steve confirms with a sigh.

“How long has this been going on?”

“Seventeen minutes,” Natasha replies dryly.

Narrowing his eyes, Clint watches as the billionaire stomps across the room, throwing his arms in the air, face scrunched into a scowl.

"It's about Spider-Man again?" he asks, reading the name on Tony's lips, followed by more words that Steve shouldn't be hearing. A glance at the blond's puckered brows told Clint the man had heard them either way.

“When are their conversations not about Spider-Man?” throws Sam in.

"At this point, it feels like Tony's obsession with the teenager who supposedly smeared the tower exists for him to use as a distraction from Fury and his constant questioning about the spider guy."

All eyes turn to Sam, the latter looking around as he feels them staring at him. "What? I thought that was quite logical.”

“It does sound logical. We didn't expect you to come up with such a sound conclusion."

Clint easily dodges the hand aimed at the back of his head.

Sam scoffs. “Who are you, Bucky 2.0? Don’t look at me like that, Steve. I didn’t insult anyone.”

Steve had already opened his mouth when the door to the conference room burst open.

“Is it time for the daily gossip again?”

“Oh, hey Tony. Didn’t know you're here too.”

Tony gives Clint a look that tells him what went through his mind without having to say a single word.

“You say that after watching me through a window for minutes?”

The spy stepped back, hands raised guiltily, but the smile betrayed him.

"Caught."

Tony rolls his eyes.

“Just keep poking fun at me. If Fury starts constantly breathing down your neck and placing unjustified expectations on you, you don’t need to come to me crying like your high school crush broke up with you.”

He turns away from the group.

“Friday, Lab Lockdown. I don't want to hear from anyone today unless it's an emergency. You know what, scratch that. Emergencies go to Cap."

“Of course, Sir.”

The others watch their colleague walk straight towards the elevator.

"What are we betting that he doesn't look for Spider-Man and continues spending looking for Parker?"

Sam glances at Clint.

“How do you know the boy’s last name?”

The archer shrugs his shoulders innocently.

"Wanted to know what was so special about the teen that made Tony make such a fuss over him."

Steve sighs deeply. “I hope you’re not spying on him too. It’s enough if Tony doesn’t know when to stop.”

“Calm down, Steve. I know how to behave.”

Steve didn't look convinced.

"Great, now that he's locking himself in his workshop and not letting anyone in, I'd better ask Bruce if he knows how to clean my wings of this weird plant slime."

While the rest of the team discusses the last mission, Tony arrives at his workshop.

"Friday, place an order with Subway and tell them to have Parker deliver it."

“Sir, Ms. Potts forbid you from ordering any more food on the premise of harassing Mr. Parker.”

Tony sputters, turning to one of Friday's cameras and pointing at it with narrowed eyes.

“Excuse me? Me, harassing anyone? That kid insulted me multiple times and made my property look like a kindergartener’s art project who was left unsupervised with caffeine and a load of black paint.”

“Ms. Potts says you are the adult in the situation and should act accordingly."

“Okay, first of all, I don’t want to hear one more word of what Ms. Potts said. And secondly, I don't care who says what. Friday, send the order.”

“Mr. Parker doesn’t work at Subway anymore, Sir. Should I proceed with the order?”

Tony looks up from his table.

“No, cancel that. Don’t tell me he got fired again.”

“Mr. Parker's contract had not been terminated by the company.”

That catches the genie's attention.

“Would you look at that? He quit himself?”

“The letter of resignation had been submitted by May Parker.”

Tony crosses his arms over his chest, a smirk on his face.

"Sooner or later, Parker got caught.”

"That seems to be the case. For once, you don’t seem to have anything to do with it, Sir.”

The man lifts an eyebrow.

“Please, how is it my fault the kid gets fired all the time?"

“Sir, do I have to remind you that Mr. Parker was terminated from his previous part-time jobs after you placed an order there or interacted with him? There is a 94% chance that you are responsible for him getting fired.”

Tony taps the end of a screwdriver thoughtfully against his chin. If he hadn't been so annoyed by Fury, he would have almost felt guilty. Frowning, the man turns around, leaning his hip against the table.

Several people had told Tony to drop the matter. But he wasn't Tony Stark if he stopped doing something just because someone said so. A small part of him knew that he was overdoing it, and if Fury would let him alone for five minutes, he would step back and think more rationally. Probably.

But Fury does not give him a break, Tony is stressed, and there's this teeny tiny detail that throws him off about his and the kid's encounter, which makes leaving the subject rather difficult.

It was that first meeting with Peter Parker that Tony couldn't get out of his head.

It plays again and again behind his inner eye, over and over again. The boy who mutters that one sentence to himself doesn't leave the man in peace.

“Serves you right, asshole .”

But what exactly should serve him right? That he had been in pain? That he had got hurt?

He's well aware of the countless people who can't stand him and probably even more who would love to see him disappear.

But why would Parker be one of them?

The whole thing didn't make any sense.

Parker's credentials and academic achievements spoke for the boy. On paper, Peter Parker was a picture-perfect student. He is helpful, hard-working, and, above all, worryingly intelligent.

So why was he so incredibly hostile towards Tony?

Nerds like Peter should love him. And according to the after-school activities the boy frequented, he is one. So even if Captain America or worse, Hawkeye were his favorite Avenger, given his educational background and other interests, he would have at least had to jump for joy or stammer as the hero worship overcomes him at the sight of Tony.

Instead, he insulted him with the coldest look Tony has received from anyone in a long time, and that's saying something.

There must be something that he's missing.

Tony stares at his desk with a frown, his chin resting on his intertwined fingers.

The scenario runs through his head again. He and Happy enter the diner. He places his order. Parker tells him to wait. Tony rubs his shoulder.

“Serves you right, asshole .”

Parker had only glanced up at him as he muttered those words under his breath. Tony wasn't sure if the boy had even intended for him to hear it, but judging by his reaction, he didn't care.

"Friday, put all information we gathered about Parker on the table."

A whole row of holo screens pops up in front of the man, who takes a step back and looks at the entire wall of information with his arms crossed over his chest.

Had he abandoned the boy? Had he met him at a convention and didn't give an autograph? Was his school denied a field trip to Stark Industries?

“Is there a time when Parker and I were in the same place?”

"It cannot be ruled out, that you and Mr. Parker were in the same place, but the probability is less than 12.45%."

The whole thing was tearing your hair out. The longer, the man looked into the topic, the more questions arose. And he hadn't even begun to theorize how on earth Parker managed to paint his tower.

Tony rubs his face with a hand.

There has to be something, a common denominator.

“Parker quit all his jobs?”

“His aunt quit all jobs within the last four hours. He also works in an animal shelter, but the work counts as voluntary and is unpaid.

With a frown, Tony watches as DUM-E makes coffee in the kitchenette.

“An animal shelter. How long has the kid been working there, Friday?”

“Since August 21st, Sir.”

“That's not that long.”

A few days before he met the kid at Bill's.

His fingers fly over the holographic keys, and after a few seconds, the image of an inconspicuous building surrounded by a three-foot-high metal fence floats in front of him.

Forest Hills Adoption Center, is written in capital letters above the entrance sign. Tony’s index finger taps tirelessly on the tabletop as he scans the shelter’s website.

“When did Parker start his other part-time jobs?”

“21. August. Sir.”

“What a weird coincidence,” murmurs the man, pushing the steaming cup away from him, which DUM-E has placed on the table next to him. He is close to something, he can feel it.

That also means he couldn't afford food poisoning right now.

“Friday, tell Clint to get his ass over here. He owes me a favor.”

The man enlarges the website of the shelter, his brows furrowed.

“You asked about me?”

Clint stands against the door, eyes checking the holograms before landing on Tony. The man stands up, hands shoved in his pockets before closing the windows between them with a flick of his wrist.

He steps closer, drawing the archer in by throwing an arm around his neck, causing the other man's face to contort in confusion. Dark brown eyes gleam with something Clint can not pinpoint, but he knows, that it cannot mean anything good. Turning towards the door, Tony pushes his colleague forward.

"Say Legolas, when was the last time you got checked for allergies?"

[weidaoduzun3]

How I Structure My Hermetic Praxis with the Help of the Preces Templi PDF

Now, without trying to tackle and unpack what a “Hermetic praxis” entails or means philosophically or scholarly, we are going to briefly summarize that it is a practice that includes adherence to the teachings of the writings attributed to Hermes [Trismegistos], along with an adherence to the teachings found in such tractates such as the Greek Magical Papyri (PGM) and Picatrix, and many other magical/astrological treatises. Does one have to use the Picatrix or PGM? No of course not. This is just what my Hermetic praxis looks like. Nothing in here is “canon” or dogma. I am just expressing how the Preces Templi e-book by the incredible Sam Block, aka “Polyphanes” helped me restructure my praxis with a strong adherence to the teachings found in the Corpus Hermeticum (CH), Latin Asclepius (AH), and the Definitions From Hermes to Asclepius (DH), to name a few. A link to his Ko-Fi shop will be at the bottom of the page. I encourage anyone who is looking to structure a “Hermetic praxis” with an adherence to classical “Hermetic” texts and treatise to investigate his shop and also come join us in the HhoL (Hermetic House of Life) discord server! These things I practice are mingled and co-exist with an already daily devotion to the gods of Egypt and Greece, which that devotion can be deemed “Hermetic,” most certainly, but not all the time. Alright, now that I’ve introduced what I am talking about. Let’s get into what I do upon arrival, upon waking up I mean.

The first words out of my mouth upon my arrival will be taken from Chapter 2.2.1 from the e-book “Opening Supplication.” I find that a quick little praise or thanks to The All helps keep me focused and more mindful of my day-to-day interactions with others. It also reminds me to give thanks to the gods before I embark on any task, mundane or spiritual. Allowing me to start and complete every task with Divine influence. If I don’t say this upon awakening from my slumber, I usually say this little maxim to Amun: “Awake being rested, may you awake in peace! May Amun awake in life and peace! May NN (I insert my magical pseudonym here) awake in peace!”

After washing and stretching, I’ll say the prayer from CH I. 31-32, which Polyphanes lists as the Triple Trisagion, in Chapter 2.3. A beautiful prayer that closes the first chapter of the Corpus Hermeticum. I personally don’t use his translation, simply out of practicality reasons, as it is easier to just grab my Hermetica translated by Brian Copenhaver than to open up my PDF file of the Preces Templi. Though if I’m on the go, running late, or whatever it may be, the Preces Templi e-book is always a few taps away for me to show my devotion just on the go!

Next, after the closing prayer from CH I. 31-32, I say the prayer in the back of book 2 of the Ars Paulina to my Holy Guardian Angel. Now praying to your personal daimon, HGA, natal genius, whatever you want to call it isn’t found in the Preces Templi, nor found in any philosophical Hermetica. A method to get in contact with your “Personal genius” is found in the Picatrix, an astrological treatise attributed to Hermes. To me, this suggests the importance of getting in touch with your personal daimon for a Hermetic praxis.

Moving on to when I’ll come home from school or work. I’ll meditate informally (meaning without my ritual attire) on the sayings or maxims from chapter 3.2 of the Preces Templi e-book.  These sayings are also employed when getting things ready for a theurgical invocation or my daily silent prayer for the god I am honoring that day.

Some of my favorites from Chapter 3.2 of the e-book are from the Stobaean fragments: SH 1.2 says, “What cannot be expressed—this is God.” CH XII.23: “There is but one religion of god, and that is not be evil.” Lastly, from CH XVI.11: “Irreverence is mankind's greatest evil against the gods.”  Such beautiful work Polyphanes has done organizing all these sayings from various Hermeticas into practical guides so that these can be recited or simply meditated on. The choice is yours to decide what to do with these organizations’ young mages!

So, imagine that today is Thursday. On Thursdays, I honor Asklepios. Along with the Orphic Hymn I sing to Asklepios in the mornings, later in the day, I’ll use chapter 7.22 from the e-book: “Hymn to Asklepios.” Tuesdays are for Anpu, so sometimes I may use 7.20: “The Hymn to Anubis” instead of some handwritten hymns for the wonderous Foremost of the Western gods! On Fridays, I perform the Israeli Regardie Hymn to Isis, and then I’ll use chapter 7.12 from the e-book titled: “The Hymn to Eros” to honor both Isis and Eros on Fridays. All these hymns found in chapter 7 of the e-book can be referenced to the Greek Magical Papyri.

I use this e-book almost like a springboard to help further my studies and structure my devotional praxis. These are prayers and hymns in this e-book. No concrete “rituals” or anything of that nature. With some homework, though, one can use the e-book to bring some fundamental structure and ritualize what is here into your own practice! I don’t use everything here; I’m keen on constructing my hymns and theurgical invocations. But it’s a tremendous and invaluable resource that is super cheap, and it has greatly aided my structuring of my own ritual praxis. I love this e-book, and I’m sure if you follow and enjoy my musings, you’ll enjoy and find the fruits within the Preces Templi e-book.

https://kofi.com/s/751c99dfa9

https://digitalambler.com/2020/12/09/new-ebook-for-sale-preces-templi/

[tinycupcakesstuff]

Unpacking Heated Rivalry and the OG Hockey Husbands

I can't unpack Heated Rivalry before covering Breakfast with Scot, who walked so the whole m/m hockey romance genre could run. The film based on the novel by the same name which explores intergenerational issues between queer adults parenting a queer child. The film ups the ante with making one of the queer adults a hockey player and the layers that come with being in the closet as a professional athlete.

The year was 2007 and we are introduced to Eric McNally, who retired sometime around 2002 (Ellen came out in 1997), so his career would have been 1990s-2002. He would have played junior hockey in the 80s. Heated Rivalry takes place covering the decade after Breakfast with Scot, 2008-2018.

For Eric, the context of AIDs epidemic, shifting social views on LGBT issues in general society let alone the sports/hockey world are very much his lived experience.

We meet Eric, now retired from hockey in his late 30s, in a long term committed relationship with his partner, Sam who is a sports lawyer (and was apparently Eric's lawyer). Eric is out to the important people in his life but not publicly because he works as an analyst for a Canadian sports network. He is living a double life, or at least his sexuality is somewhat of an "open secret" in hockey circles. One he takes great lengths to avoid drawing any attention to.

Eric is aware of how things have changed, but all of the societal progress and multitudes of public figures coming out post-Ellen hasn't necessarily changed anything for him. He is still very much under the microscope of the Toronto hockey media landscape, having become a sports caster in his retirement and hosting a Sportscenter-like hockey program on TV. Despite the fact that he is out to his assistant who relentlessly teases him for not being out at work. When Eric does finally come out at work, she confirms, "everyone already knew."

In daily life Eric seems to be comfortably out. Eric's comfortable balance of his homelife with Sam and hockey life explodes with arrival of Scot, Sam's brother's dead ex-girlfriends son, who they need to take custody of temporarily.

Scot is not the 11 year old boy Eric was expecting. He was bracing himself for a homophobic terror that would destroy their home and sell their electronics for booze. Instead they got Scot, who wears Pink Gardenia hand cream and a charm bracelet. Scot who turned down Eric's invitation to watch hockey because, he "only likes musicals."

Somehow, this was just as bad as what Eric was predicting and he starts having a harder time keeping his worlds separate. Eric attends Scot's parent teacher night with Sam, which the topic of discussion is how to manage Scot. All 3 adults have no clue. The teacher offers that he should watch TV to find more "traditional" role models. A microaggression that Eric bristles at.

Scot has no qualms being who he is, clearly his mother raised him in an affirming manner. He wears pink, glitter, make-up, and is 100% true to himself at all times. And interestingly, Scot faces little bullying and ridicule even though Eric is terrified of this. Scot is innocent and confused about homophobia, although at one point he admits to Eric that he thinks being gay means "no one likes you." To which Eric forcefully tells him, "It doesn't mean that." Which for a guy like Eric, with a pretty limited tool box in which to discuss feelings, is pretty big!

On Scot's first day with Eric and his partner, he outs Eric to a mall security guard.

Eric immediately responded above, stammering I'm not, I'm not, because he was caught off guard. I don't necessarily buy into that he is ashamed. I think Scot outing him AGAINST HIS WILL wasn't something he was prepared for and I do have a lot of sympathy for him stumbling through it. I'm not sure the film and the fandom are always very sympathetic to Eric.

Scot continues, "Him and Sam are married" and Eric's response is probably my favorite line in the film. He says, "We're not even...we're not even married."

For me, he is redeemed. He is not denying his relationship, he clarifies that they're not married, but doesn't deny that they're together. I think he did his best navigating a very nuanced public situation with an impressionable child as a gay public figure in the closet!

So what does all this have to do with Heated Rivalry?

So in the entire DECADE after we meet Eric still in the closet 5 years post retirement.....we get a fictional NHL player coming out publicly in the Game Changers universe!

Heated Rivalry covers, in excruciating detail, how difficult and painful it is navigating falling in love as a closeted NHL player. And when I say excruciating, I mean it is agony.

I don't know if it is a weird take because I am 7 years late to the Ilya/Shane party, but the angst was just so painful. I am in an emotional twist. Physical/psychic pain. Damn, their love was so hard. Damnnnnnn.

I have a Eric McNally origin story where I speculate about Eric's Heated Rivalry glory days which would have been roughly 1992-2002, and what he got up to while he was playing. I do NOT have him falling in love back then lol. But he did have a boyfriend or 2. He saves it all for Sam. It's certainly not on the level of Ilya and Shane, but I am sure he had someone to meet in hotels all across North America. The only other mm hockey romance that touches on that experience is the character Wade in Breaking the Rules.

Eric and Sam are the OG hockey husbands!!!!!

I am working on an Epic novel length Eric and Sam romance novel, full of smut a la Ilya/Shane.

This is just another part of my (and a few of my fandom comrades) ongoing effort to produce Breakfast with Scot propaganda to entice others to join our esteemed ranks which number in the DOZENS! We are dozens!

Breakfast with Scot has me in an absolute choke hold because we meet Eric and Sam as hockey husbands. They live the most stable, quaint life on the outskirts of Toronto in the cutest brownstone known to man. Their relationship is calm and safe, despite Eric being an absolute neurotic mess 100% of the time.

It's a deep well to draw from thematically. The character of Scot is an absolute delight. This is a queer family film, a hockey romance, it is everything! And the Toronto Maple Leafs allowed their logo to be in a queer film!

It's taking every shred of willpower NOT to abandon my WIPs and start working on the Game Changers x Breakfast with Scot crossover no one asked for...But I need a universe where Eric and Ilya and Shane can exist together...Soon, I hope.

[peppermintquartz]

After reading the Discworld books, I find that I have lots of questions about life and society which help me make decisions and choices

About laws: Will Sam Vimes go Librarian-poo?

- Does it cause harm? Who is this hurting?

- If a law exists, who does it protect? Who does it target? Who designed it and why?

- Has this person broken the law? Is their reason for doing so forgivable? What is the most humane response that isn't rooted in anger or fear?

About Self and Community: Will Granny Weatherwax be having with it?

- Is it a matter that needs putting right? Does it mean I know what's Best For This Situation? Is it better to be good or to be nice here?

- Is a child in danger? What can I do to get the child away from it?

- Do I know exactly who I am and what I stand for, and what that means in my daily life? Do I trust my abilities while acknowledging my lack?

- Who else can provide the skills that I do not possess?

About politics: Will Sir PTerry write about this with joy or fury?

- Will it benefit those who have little, or will it mean more for those who already have most of the pie? Who will I support knowing where their loyalties lie?

- Where is the money coming from? Where is the money going?

[fandomcrazy6226]

Liveblogging Dracula Daily - May 5

Brought to you on May 7 because tech week is k i l l i n g me

I'm actually skipping my 7th period class cause I was gonna take a nap and I may still do that but I'm gonna get through these two posts first, cause technically I'm already late on the May 5 catchup. Whoopsie. Anyway, there'll be two posts today, more or less back-to-back, so enjoy the double feature!

Ooh, we're finally getting to the castle! More sleeping problems, trust me that's very relatable atm. I'm so exhausted after rehearsal every night and then it's impossible to actually fall asleep when I get home.

OK that 'robber steak' actually sounds really good. Love me some bacon.

"A name meaning 'word-bearer'"... huh? Like they call the door by a name? They call him a name? That structure is a bit confusing.

Oh joy, Satan, hell, witch, and *gasp* vampire! Hmm... something tells me this Count won't be the most transparent about these rumors. (Also as someone who watched the Sam and Colby video where they went to Dracula's Castle I wonder if there's a reason "strigoi" wasn't listed here. I do see "stregoica" though, which does look similar)

I think this is where someone who knew nothing about Dracula would definitely figure out something is wrong. Like, the last chapter with the old woman and the innkeeper suddenly not speaking German were definitely a tip-off but an entire crowd of people doing a gesture to ward off the evil eye? Yeah that's a big ol' flashing red light

Honestly I'd get super emotional too if a huge crowd of people I didn't even know did some kind of big protective gesture for me. Also, I'm sorry, the driver's pants are how big??

Again, the way this scenery is described is just so beautiful. And I definitely appreciate the translations here otherwise I'd spend way too much time on Google Translate

Okay... this driver seems odd. "The dogs are too vicious to walk", sure, thanks for the warning. "You'll probably have enough problems tonight", um. Get off my lawn you creepy thing with huge pants. And now I feel bad for the horses.

Okay they're going real fast now, and the other people are offering Jonathan gifts? Strange... but alright then. Oh and they're also doing the evil-eye-protection thing. Yeah does Jonathan realize he's probably walking into a blanket-fort-sized red flag with this trip yet?

Wait, what? What does he mean "not expected"? Are they really gonna take him all the way back to the inn and make him wait for however long just to bring him back? What the hell?

Ummmmmm red eyes you say? And black horses? And hiding his face? Is this a disguise? And the red lips and sharp teeth, yeah calling it now this guy is actually Dracula.

OK as someone who doesn't drink, why would the brandy help? Like is is just a courage thing? Or maybe for sleep?

Oh, midnight, all the evil things come out at midnight. According to the old lady from before, I think. Good thing he's got that cross, and like a million villagers helping him out.

Hm... methinks this driver has superstrength and can talk to animals. Wouldn't you guess what two more vampire powers are?

Is he... are they following a Will-o-Wisp? Is that was the blue flame is? Cause the popping around magical blue fire floating in the air sounds a lot like a Will-o-Wisp

OK that sounds terrifying, surrounded by wolves. But hey, I'm pretty sure wild wolves don't actually attack humans, since humans aren't prey. Or at least that's what Wild Kratts taught me. OK Google is backing me up here. I think wolves are generally pretty chill with humans, although the horses would definitely have a reason to freak out, considering wolves can take down moose.

Oh, so the driver basically waves his arms and the wolves go away? Not suspicious at all...

Oh jeez, this just keeps on going. Hang on, how much is left of this entry? OK I shouldn't have to split the chapter. I'm just gonna keep going, hopefully I'm done before the bell rings.

Um, no, Jonathan, I don't think this is a common occurrence for most realtors. Aww, Mina mention again! Oh, this poor boy seriously needs to sleep. (Me too, buddy)

That's definitely a perfectly normal way to invite someone in. "Enter freely and of your own will" Hand of a dead man hmmmmmmmm?

Ha! Even he thinks it's the driver.

I assume Mr. Hawkins is his boss? And that's a really sweet thing to say. Mmmmm chimcken. I'm very hungry the lunch at my school is not great on Tuesdays, especially when it's flavorless pasta with flavorless tomato sauce. Like somehow the lack of flavor is it's own flavor.

Hair on palms isn't actually... possible. The only two places your body doesn't grow hair at all are your palms and the soles of your feet. So that's extra strange.

This chapter definitely makes things a lot more tense, and I'm very excited to see how that build in the next one!

PREVIOUS / NEXT

[swaps55]

Warning, super long ask incoming! I suppose this is just a letter of fangirling in all honesty, and apologies if I accidentally already sent a half finished draft of this lol

I just wanted to let you know that I value your writing so much. I feel that I’ve fallen in love with Sam and Kaidan’s love, and that your writing is one of the best I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading, both within fanfiction and published works. Your writing is so compelling; the romance, the world building, the characterisation, everything! Every one of your characters feel like real people with patterns and behaviours that suit them and their motivations, they’re so believable and I love following them on their journeys. I think what I love most about your writing is that you’ve mastered show, don’t tell. When I’m reading any other fiction, I feel like I’m constantly searching for what you’ve portrayed in your work. You can really tell that you’ve put such love into Opus (and your other works, I’ve reread so many of the multiverse fics too), from the research of engineering and battle strategies, to bug behaviour even!

Essentially, I just needed you to know that someone out there is thinking of your writing daily. How incredible is it that this world that lives and breathes inside of your head, has now made a home in mine.

I also wanted to ask if you would ever consider publishing any original works in the future? I would read literally anything you wrote, your art holds a very special place in my heart now, I’ve even started learning the constellations and how to cross stitch because of you!

Thank you for your patience and I hope you have a lovely week ahead ☆♡

MAN, y'all are out to kill me with kindness.

You have no idea how much it means to hear this, especially right now. Back in March I hit a burnout wall running at full speed, and have been feeling some tremendous guilt over not making much progress on Mezzo the last few months. It's hard not to constantly fret that people will immediately assume I've abandoned the story and abandon it, too, and hearing this is a reminder that's not true.

I love this world and these characters, and it's the best thing ever that not only do others love them to, but they specifically love my versions of them. That's WILD. And amazing. You're so right about how incredible it is, so thank you so much.

As for original fic, years ago, I thought that's what I wanted to do, and I worked on some original projects. But here's the problem: I love sci-fi, I only want to write sci-fi...and I'm a terrible world builder. Give me a sandbox and I will happily build a castle, but I just don't have the right skillset to construct the sandbox.

That's why I've been so happy as a fanfic writer - I get a pre-built sandbox that I can go to town in and make whatever castle I want out of it. I have thought about trying to file the serial numbers off Cantata, but the world is such an integral part of that story that I wouldn't know how to do it and still have a story that means as much as Cantata does.

HOWEVER, never say never. I am not a world builder, but I married one. Real Life Romance Option is a phenomenal world builder, and a lot of his ideas can be found in Opus (you can thank him for the Can, for instance). He is happily building his own very cool sandbox, and it's entirely possible that one day I'll tell stories in it.

But Opus comes first! I still have Mezzo to finish, and two more stories to write to get Sam the happy ending he deserves, and I'm gonna do it, no matter how long it takes.

(Also, thank you in particular for calling out the bugs, because yes, I read a lot about bugs for Mezzo, haha!)

[scratchandplaster]

Ben, do you know what hypnotism is? 😈

[Masterlist] | Ask game

Let's say it takes place after this, and Sam is still weirded out.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

"That's when you believe you're sick all the time, right?" 

Sam managed to catch him alone again, a more than tricky endeavor when one's world is limited to a few acres of grass. Only the stupid act of slicing their entire calf open on a rusty nail got them out of work early today.

"No, not even close. And don't argue about semantics: I don't care what he calls it, I care about what exactly he did!"

"I don't know what you're trying to get at." Ben led them towards the water to find shelter from the sun. Under the broad willow's treetop, he stopped, Sam still limping behind him.

"The thing! The thing Shepard did at dinner."

Ben glanced back: "The thing? You really have a way with words."

It was hard to keep balance, especially with the thickly wrapped leg staying suspended in the air, as Sam slid down to sit their back pressed against the tree trunk. The sad attempt at a lunge was interrupted by Ben's well-meaning hand, but quickly slapped away.

"One second you are up and talking to me, and in the next it was like a switch was flipped off. And don't you tell me that wasn't fucking weird."

The last thing they needed was an army of mindless farmers at Shepard's beck and call. Sam considered themself immune, naturally, having studied all the tactics used for recruitment. Still, the unsettling air didn't fade.

"Oh, come on. I was just doing breathwork," Ben deflected. He was rarely getting tired of explaining, though Sam really gave their best to change this fact.

"Don't 'oh, come on' me, you have to be a bit more specific today."

"Huh? I told you about the morning yoga. It's just like that, but for your mind."

"Cool. Great." Sam was jittery, now that running far away from this circus wasn't even an option anymore,  "So he walks around and does that to all of you?"

As horrifying as it seemed, they just struck gold. Literal brainwashing -imagining the view count, the sponsors mauling each other to shreds for the ad space, made them bite down on their lip in a confusing mix of wild excitement and fear.

Ben, as usual, tried to calm their tirade down. Sam's tendency to exaggerate the little details about his life started to become a near daily nuisance.

"Everything you say sounds so dramatic, of course he doesn't. There is nothing he can do without you engaging in it. Or do you see Birdie threatening us to do the Crescent Moon at gunpoint?"

"Whatever," they spit, "even if you're doing it voluntarily…why?"

"It helps me calm down." Ben shrugged and tapped a finger against his temple: "When I have trouble focusing, for example, it sorts out all the thoughts tumbling around up here."

Adderall manages that too. Though Shepard can't grow that shit on a field, can he?

They watched him subconsciously rubbing the thick sleeves of his sweater over his forearms. Despite the sunny conditions, he refused to wear a tee. 

"I know that it looks funny from the outside, but it's like…when someone reads you a bedtime story. Also helps against pain."

Pain was a thing Sam already had enough of, even without Shepard's help. Their calf itched under the gauze.

"So lets say that you're hurt: he tells you that you're not and that's it?"

Ben nodded affirmatively: "Pretty much."

"Be for real-"

"Oh, dear," he kneeled next to Sam, allowing their leg to rest comfortably on his own, "Look, don't tell him I told an outsider private info, but William and Shawn's aunt sometimes ask when the cravings start again, it distracts from the itch. Dad provides an important offer for many here. You don't need to understand, only to accept it."

Cravings? Local man cures binge-eating?! Nothing to snack on around here except dried dates and royal jelly, I would go crazy too.

"I mean, you're on edge all the time. Wouldn't hurt you to give it a try!"

If Shepard Cohen ever dared to test his voodoo shtick on them, Sam swore that his own murder would be the topic of their next episode.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

[queen-susans-revenge]

Thank you to both @oenothera5 and @doodlingbreak, who asked me to list five things that make me happy or that I'd like others to know about me. This seems like a good day to practice gratitude so I'll focus on the happy things.

My cats, Luna and Stella, who are fuzzy and soft to touch. They have triangle ears and whiskery noses and beautiful blue eyes and toe beans on their feet, and if all that wasn't enough already, they also purr. Stella likes to wake me up in the middle of the night by sitting on my pillow and I never even mind it, because she purrs when she does it, so it's always like "oh! Thank you! I am honored by this mouthful of cat fur in the small hours of the morning."

My three boys. The oldest is 17 now which feels absolutely unreal. I was so afraid that puberty would change them and make them mean, but actually, they are still just as sweet as ever. They are my gift to the world. They are the best parts of me, and they'll go on when I am gone. I worry about my youngest, because he is autistic and only partially verbal, and it seems increasingly unlikely that he'll be able live independently. My major life project for whatever years remain to me (I'm being dramatic, I'm not even fifty yet) is to make sure he'll have a good life even after I'm gone.

My little house! It is small, two bedrooms and a little under 1350 square feet. But it's an arts and crafts bungalow with a lot of historic touches (built-ins, wood paneling, some of the original light fixtures) and it was just so intelligently put together that it's possible for five people to live here and not feel like we're constantly tripping over each other. The three boys share a room (bunk beds for the win), but in addition to the bedrooms there's separate living and dining rooms, a breakfast nook, and two small bonus spaces that Sam and I have claimed for offices. (My office was probably originally a sleeping porch, as it's off the main bedroom, separated by french doors. His might have been a cloakroom or sitting room, we're not sure. They're snug, but big enough for a desk and bookshelf apiece.) Rooms! I love rooms. Will never understand the fad for open floor plans. Rooms let you have doors that you can close. The kids often spread out; usually my eldest will set up his laptop on the dining table, while the middle boy works on his computer in the breakfast nook and the youngest sort of bounces around. There's a half-wild backyard too. I wrote about it here. Right now the camillas are blooming in the backyard and I can see them from my office window. They are so pretty.

My husband Sam, who I love and who loves me. I know that he loves me because he gets up first every morning and makes the coffee, and then brings me a cup of coffee and a kiss in bed. Every single morning. We recently celebrated our 18th anniversary. It is wonderful to love and be loved.

Friends! My friends are mostly online. In fact I am practically a shut-in: the last group I was in was a scouting group for the boys, but we wound that down just before the pandemic hit, and I feel no need to go out and join any more. I rarely leave the house except for daily walks. Even when the boys were smaller and I was doing a lot of school volunteering, I had "mom friends" but they did not feel deeply connected to me. How could they? They don't play D&D or read sci-fi or share any of the imaginative life that is so important to me. They were colleagues, and now we don't work together any more. Sam is a homebody too, so we don't really go out. My bff and I met in college a full thirty years ago, but we have lived on opposite coasts since I moved to California in 2000. We chat on Discord, just as I chat with the newer friends I've mostly met through gaming or social media. I have a very low social battery so I'm good with like, one fairly active Discord server and occasional one-on-one chats with friends. My main sorrow in life is that my SWTOR guild server has petered out to very little activity; I have a wholly unreasonable but deeply held grudge against Final Fantasy for poaching so many of them away.

Those are my five favorite things (not in order), but a big shoutout to books and games, which also sustain my everyday existence. Oh and food! I cook dinner for the fam most nights and I've become a really good cook. It's very gratifying when my boys tell me that they love my cooking.

I am supposed to tag other people for the meme, but I always feel awkward about that, because I'm half afraid it would be an imposition and half afraid to offend anyone I don't mention. So to anyone who sees this and would like to list your own happy-making things, I would be very interested to get a glimpse into your lives!

[aesterblaster]

HELLO!! I WOULD LOVE TO MAKE A REQUEST, CAN YOU DO SOMETHING WHERE Rin,Kaiser,Isagi,Bachira, and Chigiri MEET Y/N ON THEIR LIVE STREAM WHERE Y/N IS SAYING HOW GOOD THEY ARE AT SOCCER/FOOTBALL AND PRAISING THEM AND THEY NOTICE IT? HOW WOULD THEY REACT?? AND THEY INVITE Y/N TO A "Date" JUST TO GET ALONG WITH Y/N?? HOW WOULD THEIR ACTIONS CHANGE?? WOULD THEY SMILE?? WOULD THEY MAKE THEMSELVES COOLER??? TY FOR READER AND TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR DAY TO DO THIS🙃

NO PROBLEM <3 DID THEM INDIVIDUALLY I HOPE THAT'S OK ...WARNING IT'S LONGGGGGG SO THIS IS PT 1

You..You Think I'm Cool?

Songs: Ella Baila Sola - Eslabon Armando / Star Team - Lastclass / Rock Your Body (jerseyclub) - ProdByAbnormal

Characters: Rin , Kaiser

Rin

Honestly he was reluctant about the whole streaming thing

He was for one, worried about his privacy, and for another thing, pretty damn bad at all the video games his manager suggested

So you best believe bro was getting hated on

"Chat...chat, shut up, I'm trying to focus. What the hell, how do I switch perspectives!?" Rin swore he was going to strangle his manager the next time he saw him. Sure, this was supposed to be a publicity stunt, the hot new thing was streaming and Rin had next to no interaction with his fans yadda yadda, but if anything he felt like this was hurting his public image. It took him 10 minutes yesterday to figure out how to switch weapons without blowing himself up or wasting ammo in the process. And to make things worse, his brother was already pretty popular on the streaming site just doing meditation and daily skincare. That would've been the easier route probably but he'd rather be damned to hell than risk making it look like he was copying Sae.

That didn't stop his brothers rabid fans from decending on his chat though, making it run 20 miles per hour with insults and comparisons. "Why is he wearing a hoodie? I bet he's chubbier than Sae and scared to show it." "Your brother could probably beat you at this too" "Remember when Sae's bf kicked you in the face LOL" So Rin decides to ignore it, or try to. He hates to let these trolls get to him. He knows there will be clips all over social media but he can feel the veins in his forehead bulging with every missed shot on his video game and every extra jab from each comment. Just as he feared they're picking apart every last detail of his setup, his carrer and of course someone from the chat logs into the game just to camp and kill him over and over again.

The internet is a cruel, cruel place, but that doesn't mean there is no good. "(Y/URL) sent a voice message!" Rin jumps, he didn't even know the platform could read things out loud. "Hello! I just wanted to say don't listen to these asshats! You're an amazing strategist and player and I've admired you since your first match. You deserve to be called the GOAT of every game you're in." Rin doesn't smile at the compliment, it doesn't mean anything if he hasn't beaten his brother yet right? But the athlete's forehead does get a bit less vascular and his cheeks less flushed in anger and more in surprise at the kind comment. He ends up tentatively responding, "Thanks, uhh, (Y/URL) for tuning in..." And then, against his better judgement, he goes off script from what his manager told him to say. Asking how your day's going and starting a conversation.

He's still horrible at this game, but at least up until the stream ends he had one kind interaction. Maybe he will stream again tomorrow...

Kaiser

The fact that your comment even got noticed is a damn miracle

So many fans.. ngl the only way you'd be able to get his attention is with a weird question

Kaiser honestly wishes that Ness would stop trying to jump into his stream every five seconds. For once he's trying to do an actually serious little sit down and talk with his fans and the lunatic keeps showing up behind him in his shots and answering questions next to him. The comments on his stream are a mix of different languages, all of them have the same excited tone though. While he's trying to shoo Ness out of the room it's revealed that he's wearing boxers with no pants. Of course, Kaiser genuinely doesn't care about his fans seeing his body. He's posted so many different mirror selfies that there are edits online just using those photos of him instead of footage from his games. What can he say, he likes showing off his tattoos.

Kaiser usually streams talks and answering questions once a month but this is the second time this month because one of his sponsors recently got in a huge scandal. Unfortunately, there was a photo floating around of him shaking hands with some bigwig that turned out to be a creep and now everyone was jumping up to cancel him. The blonde said that he didn't care and he knew that it would all blow over, but anyone close to him knew that this was affecting him more than he lead on. He fed off and thrived off the praise others gave him, no matter how much he degraded and disregarded the people around him his fans undying adoration spoke to his ego in a way few things could. So to watch those thirst comments disappear in favor of accusations, sarcasm and negative emotes made him squirm a bit. No wonder Ness kept trying to jump in a take the heat for him.

He skimmed a few comments, refuting and responding where he could until he got to your comment. Extremely out of place among the others, it was a simple gushing of praise before finishing off with "and how did you come up with your signature move?" His back straightens. "Ahahah, thank you. Of course I'm one of the world's best players and honestly it was quite easy. After a few years of practice and watching back many of my matches I realized how great my balance and poise was...." This leads to about an hour long ramble, much to the horror of everyone else watching the stream. Kaiser doesn't care though. Someone, after all, is watching this on the other side of the stream and feeling very special having all his attention to themselves.

"Of course, it all comes from the hips, and if you didn't live so far away maybe I could demonstrate for you." he ends with a wink before seemlessly going back to the other commenters.