#(i know I didn't tag 5 people I couldn't think of that many)

[fangirl-dot-com]

🎹Tears on My Piano

*part of the best of both worlds series*

Driver: Charles Leclerc Genre: SMAU/Fluff Occupation: Pianist/Songwriter/Artist

☆ TAG LIST IS CLOSED ☆

y/nferrai has posted

liked by y/n.nation, charlie_leclerc, trustthefund, thewink, and 3,543,156 others

y/nferrari BEST DAY EVER ❤️❤️❤️ the dream continues, thank you for everything, I love you all ❤️🤍

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oscarpiastri congrats! it was an honor to be on the podium with you! *liked by y/nferrari

vroomvroomgirl she actually did it 😭😭

y/nwonmonaco OUR GIRL IS THE WINNER OF THE MONACO GP - COULDN'T BE PROUDER

carlossainz55 vamos y/n! *liked by y/nferrari

charlie_leclerc glad to have witnessed your win! 🤩 I'll see you again soon! *liked by y/nferrari

y/nferrari thank you Charlie! glad the lucky charm worked 😉

charlespianonote the comment was so cute - I wonder if they're together 🤔

worldof_y/n she's liked so many other comments, don't get ahead of yourself

leclercmusic but 👆 she responded back and didn't do that to her fellow drivers

l/nstappen she responded to max and lewis 😒

l/nleclerc WAIT DID HE SAY SEE HER AGAIN SOON?

maxverstappen1 great race y/n! (even if I wanted to sleep through it) I couldn't be more proud of you 🤍 *liked by y/nferrari

y/nferrari maxieeeee 🥹 thank you ❤️

charliesquared I can just envision y/n freaking out when she met Charlie since she's such a big fan 🤣

charlieputh great race y/n! I'm so so proud of you 🫶 (pls stream my music)

y/nfan Ariana what are you doing here?????????

lewishamilton congrats future teammate! you're on your way to doing big things! *liked by y/nferrari

y/nferrari LEWIS MAKING ME CRY - I CAN'T WAIT TO RACE WITH YOU NEXT YEAR 😭❤️

cary/n the Carlos erasure is terrible 😭

youry/n girl get over it 🙄

scuderiaferrari our princess! ❤️ 👑

charlie_leclerc has posted

liked by charlieputh, yamaha, y/nferrari, charliesquared, and 1,830,265 others

charlie_leclerc today I got to fulfill a childhood dream of mine that included a photoshoot and putting on a Ferrari F1 helmet! Merci Ferrari and GQ for making this photoshoot happen - it was a lot of fun ❤️🏎

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leclercs7thgrammy we've lost him to the vroom vroom people 👊😔

charliesangels models better be thankful Charles chose music and not modeling

scuderiaferrari lovely to have you again Charlie! it was great to see you and not just hear your voice 😉 *liked by charlie_leclerc

charlieferrari this just proves that y/n put his songs on their playlists

scuderiaferrari (it's the only thing she listens to 🤭)

charlieferarri I KNEW IT

y/nferrari my helmet looks better on you than it does me 🥲

charlie_leclerc nooooooooo, it could never. I think it looks best on it's driver 😊

y/ngoesvroom your honor they're sickening

charlieputh so this is what you've been up to instead of meeting me in the studio 😒

charlie_leclerc sorry mate, I was not about to give up this opportunity! (this may help us later on with the - you know 😈)

charlieputh ooohhhhhhhhh

charliesquared WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??

puth4you JOINT ALBUM KINGS? JOINT ALBUM ANNOUCEMENT TONIGHT?? 👑

vroomvroomgirl this is for all the people on twitter who complained about y/n listening to charlie. he's the biggest fan boy of all

charliepianokeys damn, never knew he'd look so good in red 🤤

taylorswift so happy for you Charlie 🥳 *liked by charlie_leclerc

maxverstappen1 would have looked better if it was blue 😏

y/nferrari 🤺🤺🤺 GET YOUR OWN MUSICIAN MAX

maxverstappen1 WHAT IF I LIKE CHARLIE'S MUSIC TOO?

y/nferrari YOU TOOK MY FIRST WIN AWAY, YOU WON'T TAKE AWAY MY ARTIST OF THE YEAR

maxverstappen1 YOU'RE STILL ON THAT? THAT WAS 5 YEARS AGO

y/nferrari AND???? YOU RUINED MY RACE

charlie_leclerc guys 🤣

piano_f1intro not l/nstappen beefing in the comments over Charlie and he's just ☺️😚

y/n16l/n do you think y/n volunteered to let Charlie use her helmet intead of Carlos?

vamoscarlos55 she probably didn't even let Carlos know that Charlie was coming 💀

f1gossipgirl I'm just waiting for the rumors to start up about Charlie and y/n

sillygeese twitter is having a field day with these two

f1wags has posted

liked by f1gossipgirl, leclercnews, oscarpiastri, and 84,085 others

f1wags due to some very recent activity between Charlie and our grid queen y/n l/n, we thought we'd do an intro for a possible wag

charles marc herve percival leclerc, better known as charlie, is a monegasque pianist/songwriter/artist. charlie released his first single "as long as I breathe" in 2015, which was an overnight sensation. since then, the monegasque's online platform has grown as well as his world-wide popularity. the artist has won many awards, which includes 7 grammys to his name.

in 2023, he toured with Taylor Swift for the first leg of the Eras Tour. he had been featured on the midnights album as a writer and producer of "snow on the beach", "karma", and "midnight rain". his most recent work with the female singer was "the prophecy" from TTPD. Charlie has also worked with many other artist such as Adele, Maneskin, Noah Kahan, and Hozier. He is rumored to be in works with Charlie Puth, someone he has known since his early days.

y/n's fans started to comment on his posts after a small interaction on the driver's monaco post in may. however, they have been following each other on socials since early 2020. one of y/n's highlights on instagram has a post from April of that year where charlie's song is loudly playing in the background.

charlie has expressed that Ferrari is his favorite formula 1 team and recently did a photoshoot with the team along with GQ Magazine, which might mean some type of sponsorship from the brand.

is there something going on between these two or is it just friendly banter? 👀

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f1gossipgirl there's definitely something there, but I think they're just really good friend

worldofpiano they would make a good couple though. they're both very successful so it's not like they're using each other for gain 🤷‍♀️

y/nsferrarif40 y/n has also been to many of his concerts before 😊 *liked by f1wags

charlieputh forgot to mention that I've also known y/n for years, just putting that out 🙃

charliesquared he really said "I've known y/n for longer so back off"

f1_delulu not Oscar creeping in the likes 📸🤨

princessferrari at least he's better than her timothee 🤢

shewoninmonaco WE DON'T SPEAK HIS NAME 😤

oscarpiastri let's not bring him up pls

drivesincircles WAIT Y/N DATED TIMOTHEE CHALAMET?? (also hi Oscar I love you)

princessferrari yes she did but he was AWFUL

drivers&co I think Charlie is a very good good fit for y/n

l/nstappen even though I could see max and y/n together, her and charlie would be so cute

charliesangels CHARLIE - DROP ANOTHER ALBUM - AND MY LIFE IS YOURS 🧎‍♀️

charlieputh and charlie_leclerc has posted

liked by y/nferrari, dior, charliesquared, vroomvroom16, and 1,958,730 others

charlieputh CHARLIE - OUT EVERYWHERE JUNE 10, 2024

this album has been in work for almost a year, and it can final be yours to hear. charlie_leclerc has been my rock and bandmate for more than that time and I cannot thank him enough (even if he left me for some cars)

final stadiums will be out soon for the tour, so be on the lookout 👀

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leclercs7thgrammy oh that 8th is going to hit different after this album 😮‍💨

y/nsworld dang y/n was here early 🤣

y/nferrari literally cannot wait to listen to it. I'm so proud of you 🫶 *liked by charlieputh

charlieputh I'm surprised you haven't blown up my phone asking to hear it early

y/nferrari your phone is on do not disturb 🙂

ferrari_listens I just know that y/n is going to have the album on repeat

charlie_leclerc glad to have been apart of this journey with you mate. it was a blast to see you in the studio 🙌 *liked by charlieputh

charlieputh now I'll have to return you the favor for your next album

asharpcharles CHARLES ALBUM WHEN?????

maxverstappen1 great demos, can't wait to hear the entire thing

y/nferrari YOU'VE HEARD THE DEMOS? CHARLIE WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU 😡

charlie_leclerc what did I do? 🥺

y/nferrari not you charlie ☺️, the other one 😒

charlieputh MAX YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TELL - Y/N STOP TRYING TO CALL ME

y/nferrari fine.

charlieputh thank God it stopped

charlieputh DID YOU JUST CALL MY MOM ON ME? HOW'D YOU EVEN GET HER NUMBER???????

y/nferrari 😗

charlie16 finally my town is on the list!

charliesversion definitly going to have to get tickets for the Las Vegas show since I'm going to the Grand Prix too!

y/nferrari has posted

liked by charlie_leclerc, y/nworldchamp, verstopen33, and 2,049,867 others

y/nferrari VIVAAAAAA LAS VEGAASSS

the city of sin and lights turned out better than expected and ended with a race win! thank you to all of my supporters tonight! I love you all ❤️🫶

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y/n16 finally had some safety car luck! last year was not going to repeat itself!

princessofferrari thank you ferrari for pitting under the safety car unlike last year 😒

carlossainz55 glad to have put my car in p2 behind you! one more race my friend 💪 *liked by y/nferrari

y/nferrari carloossss 🥺 I'm crying in my drivers room 😭

oscarpiastri she is because I can hear her from outside

lewishamilton does she cry often? I just want to be ready for next season

carlossainz55 si, either when she's tired, she listens to her sad playlist, or she misses her boyfriend

y/nferrari CARLOS

carlossainz55 oops... 🫢

l/nstappen3316 UHHHHHH Y/N HAS A BOYFRIEND??

charliexy/n guys - she said she loved her supports, Charlie was in her garage, ergo y/n loves Charlie. I've connected it

asharpcharles you haven't connected shit

charliexy/n I've connect it

vroomvroomgirl guys, if y/n wins the next race, she'll pass lando and finish p2 in the standings!

charlie_leclerc glad to have witness yet another race win! congrats race winner 😆 *liked by y/nferrari

y/nferrari thank you for coming even if you have your show tomorrow :)

charlie_leclerc you're attending oui?

y/nferrari wouldn't miss it! 😝

leclercs7thgrammy I can't believe I got to watch y/n win the Las Vegas Grand Prix and I get to see Charlie in concert tomorrow!

y/nferrari has posted

liked by maxverstappen1, sainztander, charlie_lelcerc, and 1,957,083 others

y/nferrari gotta lower the noise a little bit now, if he knows I'm in love, he's going to run away (but I could always just catch him in my car 🤪)

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shedrivesincircles oh girly is down bad for her boyfriend

ferrari_listens “Charlie be quiet” was her second most listen to song out of the album btw 😉

maxverstappen1 ok now I see why you like the album so much

y/nferrari I totally know you cried when they played "never see you again" as a surprise song

maxverstappen1 i did not.

danielricciardo oh he definitly did. I'll send you the proof 😂

maxverstappen1 IT WAS SAD OK - ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THAT ONE SCENE FROM FAST AND FURIOUS

oscarpiastri you watch fast and furious?

y/nferrari YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T WATCH THEM WITH ME BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO INACCURATE

maxverstappen1 THEY ARE! LIKE WHO GOES AN ENTIRE MOVIE WITHOUT FILLING UP ON GAS?????

worldofpiano Charles in the second picture 🤤

charliesangels Charlie on the keyboard >>>

y/nferrari this makes me wanna do something while I'm in vegas 🤔

maxverstappen1 well, the car is parked by that chapel thing. we can go to the casino!

danielricciardo I say we go visit the strip!

oscarpiastri but I wanted to see the sphere 🥺

lewishamitlon guys?

maxverstappen1 you saw the sphere last year Oscar. dan they have casinos on the strip!

oscarpiastri I drove past it. that doesn't count

lewishamilton guys???

danielricciardo isn't the sphere on the strip?

maxverstappen1 oh yeahhhhh, I guess we can do all?

lewishamilton GUYS?

oscarpiastri what lewis?

lewishamitlon where did y/n go?

osco81 they lost y/n oh my gosh I'm dead 💀

pianof1_intro I wonder where y/n went...maybe she went to pick up her boyfriend?

y/nferrari has posted

liked by charlieputh, vroomvroomgirl, world_of_y/n, and 1,204,367 others

y/nferrari this was max's fault ok? the chapel was too cute to NOT get married in

11.24.24 💍

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maxverstappen1 THIS WAS NOT MY FAULT

maxverstappen1 WHY ARE YOU BLAMING ME??

maxverstappen1 everything aside, I'm very happy for you! *liked by y/nferrari

maxverstappen1 BUT STOP TELLING EVERYONE THAT THIS WAS MY FAULT

charliesangles so we JUST found out that she had a boyfriend AND NOW SHE'S MARRIED????

vroomvroomgirl she drives fast for a living 🤷‍♀️

world_of_y/n you're married, STOP IT WITH THE SOFT LAUNCH I WANNA SEE HIS FACE 👹

charlie_leclerc very happy for you! glad my concert could help 😉

y/nferrari hehehehehe 🤭

f1fan24 so does the grid know who he is?

oscarpiastri yes and they're insufferable together 🤢

y/nferrari HEY I don't say that stuff about you and lily 🤨

l/nstappen1633 aw man, I wanted her and max to end up together

maxverstappen1 she knows I'm too good for her anyway 😌

y/nferrari AS IF - I WOULDN'T WANT TO KISS THOSE LIPS EVER

maxverstappen1 WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY LIPS?????

y/nferrari everything.

leclercs7thgrammy I wonder if she played any of charlie's music 🤔

scuderiaferrari even though we weren't aware this would happen tonight, we are very proud of you y/n 🥰

y/nferrari I give my deepest apologies to the pr team - I love you all 🫶

charliexy/n I want to be delusional so much 😭

charliesquared the pictures are everything!

charlie_leclerc has posted

liked by taylorswift, charliesquared, maxverstappen1, and 1,204,876 others

charlie_leclerc in preparation for the January concert, I have been working on my second classical album entitled Timeless! the songs that I have composed are tailored after the year of 2024. every emotion, feeling, and presence that I felt has been molded into my music.

these songs will be played for the first time at the Teatro Colon concert hall. once the performances are over, the songs will be out everywhere for everyone's enjoyment.

thank you for your unwavering suppoooorrrrrt 😘

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leclercs8thgrammy so we win a grammy for "tears on my piano" and now we get another album? he is spoiling us

worldofpiano I'm getting tickets now, I cannot wait to hear the album in person

y/n.nation it's so weird to see y/n not in the likes or comments 😭

vroomvroomgirl she got married and vanished 🫤

shedrivesincircles didn't even go on their annual skiing trip with her team. I know joris and Andrea missed her 🥺

charliesangels there better be a vinyl so I can buy one for my record player

charlieputh congrats man! tour this year? 😗 *liked by charlie_leclerc

charlie_leclerc I don't know mate, I wasn't the same after the tour 😅

maxverstappen1 we all know why *this comment has been deleted

verstopen33 MAX? WANNA SHARE WITH THE CLASS

the_lewink guys...is that a wedding ring in the first picture 🤨

l/nstappen3316 he just wears rings all the time, could be one of his normal ones??

charliexy/n pls let it NOT be a wedding ring. we lost y/n, I don't wanna lose charlie too 😭

scuderiaferrari that's our musician! can't wait to add it to the playlist! *liked by charlie_leclerc

asharpcharlie brb getting front row tickets asap

y/nworldchamp tell me why I thought he was about to announce that he and y/n got married since he said he kept a secret from us 😭

charlie_leclerc has posted

liked by leclercferrari, charliesangels, noahkahanmusic, and 2,385,086 others

charlie_leclerc thank you to everyone who attended tonights concert. I know I shed tears earlier, but my gratitude still continues to over-pour from all the support.

timeless is now yours on all platforms 🖤

dedicated to my one and only. mon coeur, je t'aime ❤️💍

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asharpcharlie I cried during the entire thing. the music was so touching. we're so proud of you Charlie

charliesangels just listened to the first two songs and I'm already sobbing

charliesquared "when I'm with you" has my heart. no wonder it's the title song

noahkahanmusic mega job mate 👏 *liked by charlie_leclerc

oscarpiastri I wasn't there in person, but I just know you blew the crowd away mate *liked by charlie_leclerc

charliexy/n the lack of y/n is so concerning 😭

world_of_y/n she was there tonight!

y/nworldchamp I can't even find her insta anymore? did she change her profile?

leclercs8thgrammy I can smell the 9th grammy cooking rn

taylorswift very proud of the artist you've become! might have to steal you away next year 😉

charlieputh I think I already called dibs miss swift

hozier nah, he's been mine since 2021 😙

leclercferrari sorry, but I put a ring on it first 😝 *liked by charlie_lelcerc

the_lewink Y/N????

vroomvroomgirl I know y/n has already added the entire album to her playlist

scuderiaferrari yes she has 😌 it's already playing at hq

charliesquared the devil works fast but y/n works faster

y/nsworld I NEED ANSWERS AS TO WHY Y/N CHANGED HER USER TO LECLERCFERRARI??

leclercferrari has posted

liked by maxverstappen1, charlieputh, y/n.nation, and 1,053,769 others

leclercferrari growing up, I always wished I could have learned the piano instead of karting every weekend. however, if my mother had listened to me, then I wouldn't have met the love of my life.

charlie, you never cease to amaze me my love. every thing you put your heart into blooms with success. thank you for entrusting your heart to me. I hope that I can love it as much as you love mine.

I will love you until your hands can no longer play your instrument, for then I can play our old songs until our hearts no longer beat.

my pride for you knows no limits. I love you ❤️

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y/nsworld SO IT WAS CHARLES IN VEGAS???

leclercs8thgrammy oh my gosh I'm crying again 😭

danielricciardo max is crying, thought you should know

maxverstappen1 DANIEL WHY?

oscarpiastri just let it happen man and join the club 😭

maxverstappen1 fine 😭

charlie_leclerc mon amour 🥺 i will play the piano for you until I can no longer breathe *liked by leclercferrari

leclercferrari I love you so much. you can be my passenger princess until I can no longer breathe 👑

charlie_lelcerc I think I will enjoy that 😌

charliesangels so we can all agree that timeless is written about y/n

charliexy/n get someone who will make an entire album for you 😫

TAG LIST: @scuderiadevils @marauderssworld @mehrmonga @glitterquadricorn @sinofwriting @splaterparty0-0 @ayohockeycheck @evalynkillgrave @bookishnerd1132 @vellicora @misty-inferno @minkyungseokie @khaylin27 @how-what-why-huh @theblueblub @zacian117 @fly-me-away @blueblinkx-blog @ilove-tswizzle @sinnerpalace @thatgirlmj @spilled-coffee-cup @iangelofmusic @suns3treading @roszszs @2pagenumb @ietss @morgan-getty @younxii @phantomxoxo @pastryboyyy @lolzzzzzzzzzz @halleest @ggaslyp1 @skepvids @mil0sworld @u5dthsduttd @silkenthusiasts @coldcola @annispamz @fionaschicken @littlegrapejuice @boiohboii @crashingwavesofeuphoria @lancestrollsgf @tribbisweetdear @graciewrote @lozzamez3 @residentdegenerate @e-nonsense

[tremendouscreationperson]

Logan x Reader pt.6

I know it took forever please forgive me!

I have a couple more ideas for this, if you guys want it to continue

If you think I'm just milking please it let me know, there's so many better fic writers out there I really didnt think this would blow up like it did 🫶

<< Part 5 Part 7 >> Masterlist

You had thought scavenging was difficult however as you stared at the immensely filled shelves you realised choosing was harder. You’d thought to purchase some crackers, just to see if Laura had preferences; however there were twelve different types of Goldfish and Goldfish was just one brand. This whole aisle was overflowing with crackers. It was insane. Who needed this many choices?

Elektra, Gambit and Blade had tagged along, the latter only for company, and they all seemed to be in the same position. Tired eyes mindlessly scanning for anything familiar. Anything that sounded good. Did you even remember the taste of ‘spicy chilli’? Or did you prefer ‘sour cream and chives’?

The shelves were too much and they were tall. You couldn't see over them, couldn't see potential threats or keep an eye on the exits. Why did the aisles need to be this long? They were endless. Endless and bright and colourful and the store was loud. Why were there children running around? There could be anyone around the corner. Each stomp of little feet drilled a hole in your head.

Picking up speed you rounded the corner and hid yourself by a pillar. The thing was an eyesore for the employees, they definitely had trouble stocking the shelves around it, but to you it was bliss.

You rest your forehead against the cool metal and force the air out of your lungs. You took in a big gulp before forcing it out again.

The noise of the store was drowned out by your breathing, by your hammering heart. You could hear vague snippets but it sounded like when an explosion was too close. Warped and muffled at the same time.

“Mon cher?” Gambit placed a light hand on your shoulder, despite how careful he was it still caused you to jerk. “Y/N. You 're okay.” You couldn't tell what was happening but your head was moving. Was it nodding or shaking? Your mouth opened to respond but nothing, bar a few halfhearted noises, could come out. “Y/N.” He tried again, but this had never happened. You'd never felt like this. This pain in your chest. Was… did you survive the Void to have a heart attack? “‘m get ‘ogan.”

You deliriously gave him a thumbs up.

Without any sort of logic or proof you knew the floor was safe. Of course it was, it was a constant. The floor would never leave. It couldn't. So you knelt down, your knees against the linoleum and your head still against the pillar. Or was it a beam? Why was this happening? You used to be able to do this. Why couldn't you fucking shop? All this time you'd had dreams of normality and now it was here and you were too crazy to be here?

Maybe you belonged in the Void. Then again, maybe this was Cassandra. You had thought it previously, everything was far too easy. She could be laughing her ass off at how you reacted to a fake superstore. Imagine.

Noise had slowly started to come back but it was too loud. Too much. Too bright. Why was it so bright? Why did people need to be blasted in the face to see what toothpaste they needed?

Maybe this was it.

Maybe it was the end of the line.

You were just rewatching your life.

That would be... nice.

To know that there was an end.

God, that was depressing.

You didn't mean it that way and you don't know why you thought it but it actually brought you some comfort.

Not enough to stop you hyperventilating on the dirty floors, though.

“Baby?” That was Logan now. Why was he always there to save you? He didn't have to be. Hell, he didn't know you. You might be the worst version of yourself and here he was doting over you.

You didn't deserve that.

What had you done to deserve that type of love?

He had sat out on the fire escape all night and you can't even pick up fucking crackers.

Who even likes crackers!?

“Baby?” He repeated, closer now.

You turned to the side and saw him but also saw through him.

“Can you tell me your name?”

What sort of mind fuckery was this? He knows your name. “Y/N L/N.” Your voice was tiny but he could see the way your mouth formed the words.

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

Your eyes stayed trained on his face but you answered using your peripheral. “Two.” The word still small and but now just hardly audible.

“And what's this?” You let your eyes meander down to his hand and saw he was pointing at a scrubbing brush you were hunched by.

You felt your brows pull together in confusion. “Cleaning thing.”

He let out an amused huff but was sincere with his words. “Now, love, what can you hear?”

Hear? You can hear everything. Him mostly. There were footsteps and trolley wheels and the buzzing of the speakers and constant rustling of shopping bags or plastic packaging and chattering and the child running riot was now crying and the checkouts were beeping and the deli counter number was called. “Rustling?”

“What else?”

“Crying.”

“One more?” His voice had lowered, he was more breathy.

“Your breath.”

“Can you follow my breathing?”

It was even. He was breathing in and out. Like literally every other living creature. Even trees could breathe.

“Are you able to move your hand?” He continued, tapping his chest. “Put it here?”

Of course, who did he take you for? You shakily slapped it onto his chest and he held it tight. Taking in the largest breath and releasing it slowly.

He repeated that for a while and slowly you found yourself assimilated. You were copying him with perfect movements.

The constant humming in your head had stopped, the noises were bearable, the lights even seemed duller. “I- I think I'm okay now?”

“Can you stand?” His eyes were darting all over your face, trying to gauge a reaction.

You bit your lip and nodded, moving stiff legs and easing your way up. He was swift with his movements making sure you were one hundred percent okay on your wobbly legs before he stepped back.

“That's never happened before.” You felt tired, drained. Your whole body was on fire. Why was it so sore? You had mentally freaked out and now your body was aching?

“It was an anxiety attack.” He voiced the obvious but could tell you were going to argue so carried on. If he was talking you had to listen. “They're not uncommon for those who've suffered. I’ve had them due to my PTSD.” Maybe you'd feel at ease if you knew he got them as well.

“But I don't have PTSD.”

“I think you might,” You scrunch your face. “the years spent in the Void, couldn't have been easy.”

“We survived.”

“That's what VETs say.”

Your rebuttal died on your tongue as you took two seconds to actually think about it. He might be onto something. “Is that why Stark said we need a therapist?”

“Possibly.”

“The whole time I was in the Void this didn't happen.” You grumbled. “Just carried on.”

“You didn't have time then. Your brain can now process your trauma.” Damn, Lydia - his therapist - was a genius. “In a weird way this is being healthy.”

“It's called an atta-” You huffed, hugging your middle. “I don't care what's happening, I just don't want Laura to see.” You had separated in the store to cover more ground. She had wanted to wander, to see the store for herself, and you had thought you'd be able to gather everything by the time she was headed back to you.

“She may need to see. She mig-she feels like she has to be strong.” He knew what Laura thought because she was him. “She needs to be shown this is okay.”

You were getting frustrated now. “Okay but not yet. Just- I just want a nap. My head hurts. My body, too.”

“Okay, we can leave.” It was not even noon, the others would ask questions about your sleeping pattern.

“Oh wait, no, I don't want her to worry about being noisy.” You tapped your teeth together as you wracked your brain. “Can I nap in your room?”

“Of course.” He would never deny you that, it also was a win-win as he could monitor you without Laura's beady eyes stalking him.

~~

It was safe to say that your “sickness” was the worst kept secret. It was obvious to everyone what had happened and even Wade seemed concerned. So much that he postponed the party.

Logan had settled you into his bed hours ago, checking on you periodically and was just waiting for you to rise. He had nothing better to do.

You were his world.

Laura had knocked once to see if there were any updates but he had told her the truth. That he had nothing to tell and was worried himself.

She walked back with slumped shoulders, a sliver of guilt slid up Logan's back but she was gone before he could make amends.

Another knock pulled him from Laura's disappointed eyes. Logan hoisted himself off of the armchair and opened the door to see Elektra.

She reminded him of Jean in a lot of ways.

“Here.” El handed a bag over. Logan frowned and opened it to see a multi coloured box. He and you had left the store earlier than the others to get home. He had made no purchases, leaving his basket of goods on the floor where you had slumped over. He hated himself for letting you out of his sight but you had strode off so confidently and Blade was talking to him about different moterbikes. Logan was distracted for a millisecond and you had vanished. Why did he take you guys to a store that large?

“Uh.” He didn't know what to say.

“Just invite Laura over and play these.” She spelt it out. “The kid’s worried sick and won't listen to us.”

He accepted the bag and nodded once. “Okay.”

If loving you meant loving Laura he could do that. He didn't dislike the kid but he saw so much of himself in her. And he hated himself.

El turned on her heel and entered her own door, opposite his.

Logan itched his chin and sighed, walking next door. He knocked twice and waited.

Laura opened the door in a grey hoodie and your fluffy socks. “Hello.”

“You, uh, you wanna play connect four?” He shook the plastic bag.

Laura eyed the bag but nodded once and followed him into his home.

Logan's apartment was the same as yours except he had added throws, blankets, books, CDs and LPs and many more home comforts in preparation for your arrival. His home was decidedly cosier and Laura didn't hate it.

“She's still asleep so I thought we could pass the time together.” He spoke as he sat at the dining table. Laura stood behind the chair to his right and awaited instructions. “You can sit, I just need to set this up.”

Logan unravelled the contents of the bag and found Guess Who and Sorry we're sitting beneath Connect Four. He left them both on the table and delved into the first game.

Building the game wasn't difficult and explaining it to Laura was as easy as saying “connect four of the same colour, either portrait, landscape or diagonal”. The picture on the box was practically instructions.

But playing against her was challenging. She knew how to think like him, knew how to outsmart him.

It occurred to him that she was always observing people. She knew his tells. She was always present and did contribute to the conversation but she preferred to watch. To take in.

Laura was very good at connecting four so after a few games he pulled out Guess Who. That was a little bit more complicated.

“Are you George?”

Logan had thought to pick George but went for a random number - seven - and counted his way along the board. “No. Do you have long hair?”

“I do.” She agreed and he flipped the heads. “I was drawn to George so I thought you might've been.”

“You're onto something there.” Logan sipped his cola. He made sure there were snacks and drinks available.

“Blue eyes?”

“No.”

“I don't know how they got your DNA.” Laura had felt guilty. She knew her Logan didn't ask for her to be born and this one didn't even know she was a thing.

“Been around a long time.” He shrugged. “You'll have that to look forward to.”

“How long?”

“Lipstick?” She shook her head. “I've been around a good two-three hundred years.”

Laura let that settle. Would she be around that long? The doctors did thousands of tests on her but none said she'd live an extended period. “Blonde?”

Logan nodded, noticing the shift in her demeanour. “You okay?”

“That is a long time to be alive.” She picked up a chip and snapped it in half. “Y/N will be dead. And El. And Gambit.”

“You might not live as long.” He tried to make that sound like a good thing. “What's your healing factor like?”

“I've never been ‘injured’.”

He thought about that. He couldn't ask her if she had died. That might be too much for the young woman. “And the Adamantium?”

Laura frowned.

“Your claws.”

“What about them?” Finally popping the chip in her mouth.

“The metal isn't part of the mutation.”

“What?” Laura revealed her claws. They came out sharp and shiny. “They've always been like this.”

A little girl. A small child having the procedure that almost killed him. She definitely would live as long as he does. “It's bone, they added the metal.”

Laura observed her claws, hand swivelling. She had never known them to be bone. Would they even be effective?

“It's alright, though,” he shrugged, giving her a cheesy thumbs up. “You have Blade and me to keep you company.” Laura smiled and rolled her eyes. “Are you Claire?”

~~

The next few days were okay. You were still achy and found it difficult to move but you weren't totally invalid.

In fact you were playing with your newest toy. A telecommunication device. Or a phone.

Wade had burst into the front room, you all collectively sat in, paper bags in hand.

“Guys, I hope you know how odd it was for me to walk in there and ask for five phones. They thought I was a drug dealer.”

Blind Al kissed her teeth. “You could've been buying company phones, idiot.”

“Oh.” Wade slumped. “Maybe it was the meth I offered the cashier…” He handed each of you a box and squeezed himself between Gambit and Al.

There were two sofas that you all were occupying. You were sitting next to Logan, a blanket covering the two of you. Laura was sitting on the floor in front of you, she had done so you could braid her hair but decided to stay. El was perched on the arm of Al’s sofa, Gambit and Wade next to Al, and Blade was standing at Logan's side.

The setup of each phone was easy. Technology was a lot faster than you remembered.

El spoke before you all got distracted. “We have to save each other's numbers.” She knew the collective braincell liked to wander.

Each of you read out your number whilst the others typed it in. But as that happened the phones asked for a contact picture. Now that caused chaos.

El was smiling sweetly in the first pic and looked like she was being held hostage in the last. Gambit had his eyes shut and a middle finger up in practically every one. Blade was exactly the same, it was eerie, he stood statue still as you all snapped him. Laura’s eyes were confused but she did force a smile. You threw up a peace sign just for Wade to tell you it wasn't 2001 anymore. Wade had a different pose for each phone and they were all more elaborate than the last. Al didn't want to participate at all. And finally Logan, much like Laura, faked a smile until you and her took the pics.

Photos were fun. You liked photos. You'd had a trusty Polaroid back in the day and loved snapping pictures, but this was amazing. The photos were really detailed and you had them all saved in a ‘gallery’.

“You happy with the camera?” Logan asked as he saw you in the settings reading what each symbol meant.

“Yeah it's really good and I can take front facing photos.” You smiled at yourself. “Look!” Logan's eyes dropped to his face and he raised an eyebrow as you tapped the button. He huffed out a disbelieving laugh and you snapped again. “You're smiling!” You giggled to yourself, leaning forward. “Laura look.” Laura was playing about with dark mode and she turned her head to see you and her. “We can take a photo.”

Laura smiled and you poked your tongue out as you snapped. You made a heart shape with your hand and got her to copy it, snapping another.

“Logan, get in.” You begged.

He sighed - completely for show - and moved closer. “This angle is all chins.”

You frowned.

“Laura, come and sit up here.” He pat the slither of space between you two. She complied and you tried to get everyone in. “Y/N angle the phone.” You did as instructed and you all smiled.

The phone was heavy in your hands and an awkward shape, your old phone was a flip and easier to hold. “Do the heart thing whilst I hold this.”

The wolverines did.

You took some more, without noticing Wade was in the background, and eventually ceased, sixty-four photos later.

“This is so much fun.”

Wade watched you swiping through the photos, “Just you wait, pumpkin, ‘til you get a hold of the apps.”

“Apps?”

“Like little things on your phone.” He scrunched his face. “Like Snapchat or Instagram or Facebook.”

“I know Facebook.” You nodded. “It was an internet thing, like MySpace.”

“Now it's on an app.”

“Oh.” Was all you had in response. Wade showed you how to get to the app store - Logan, carefully, watching to make sure he wasn't being a little shit - and showed you how to ‘download an app’.

“I have to put my phone number in?” You stared at the screen.

“If that's what it says.” Wade had noticed Al and Gambit speaking again so upped and left. He laid himself across the two of them. “Just follow the steps.”

Okay.

You could do that.

Shit.

The first hurdle.

It asked for your date of birth.

Technically your date of birth was different now, no?

“What do I put?” You asked Logan over Laura's head. “I'm not that old.”

“Just do the maths, put the correct day and month but subtract the years.” He suggested.

“My date of birth would mean I can't have this app.” Laura commented. “Not over eighteen.” She had followed the instructions Wade told you and was now in the same dilemma.

“Do the same but backwards.” Logan tried.

You both, then, had to pick a profile picture. You had the photos on your phone and picked one of you three.

“I don't have a photo of myself.” Laura pressed the camera button and jumped. “Do-do I just take one?”

You smiled. “If you want to.”

“You don't have to have a picture.” Logan supplied.

Laura bit her lip but did decide to take one, she gave a small smile. “Is that okay?”

“You look lovely.” You squeezed her arm.

The two of you had just finished messing about with Facebook when you both received a notification.

‘Elektra Natchios had sent a friend request’, you looked up at her and quickly added.

Gambit and Blade didn't delve into Facebook, the former said he couldn't be bothered the latter told you it was too public.

You suppose Blade is right. But at the same time this is familiar. This is a way to find people. To potentially seek out your family. Or at least see if they exist.

You were just putting the phone away when another friend request popped up. ‘Logan Howlett has sent you a friend request’. He had no profile picture or cover photo and no posts. He did have friends, some of whom you recognised as the X-Men.

“Do you speak to them?” You swivelled your phone, displaying the friends.

“Charles has told them who I am and why I'm here. They accept anyone, they were eager to listen to my story. Probably waiting for you, now.”

“I don't think I can just add them.” Your fingers hovered over Hank’s fuzzy face.

“Then don't.”

“Why don't you have any pictures?”

“I don't really do pictures.”

You weren't too quick but opened your gallery. “You did here.”

“That was with you two.” He gave you a half shrug. “It's different.”

~~

Texting was fun.

You taught Laura all the old slang you used to use. BRB, LOL, TTYL, 411.

Laura did use some of them but preferred to text properly, she had spent a good portion of her time in EDEN and the Void learning basic reading and writing, why would she throw that away?

You were laying in Logan's bed, having claimed it four days ago, listening as his TV played music. He had shown you how to go onto YouTube via the TV and you were very much a fan of these Apps. You did feel a little guilty because you had effectively intruded on his space but his bed was comfy and smelled like him. God it was heavenly.

Why did he smell so good?

Y/N: nighty night beautiful x

Laura: Goodnight x

You had drilled into Laura the importance of kisses. A kiss at the end of the text was vital.

You came out of your messages, having texted the others ‘night’.

Gambit: see ya tomorrow

El: Night, love x

Blade: night

It was a routine you all wouldn't dare abandon. Whether or not you lived in this apartment all your lives you knew you'd all stick to saying goodnight. You had done for five years.

You pressed on Logan's name and sent him a message.

“Why are you texting me?” Logan called through the wall. You could hear his footsteps, sitting up, you waited. It wasn't long before the door was opened and Logan revealed himself.

Jesus. H. Christ.

Why was he shirtless? Your brain short circuited whenever his wide chest and mouth watering abs were in view. His torso was covered in soft hair your fingers itched to grab.

“I-I was just saying ‘night’.” You snapped your jaw shut.

“Oh, I thought you needed me.” He ran a hand through his hair.

You liked his short hair but you missed his fluffy locks. Nothing better than running your hands through them.

You were both now just gazing at each other.

He looked glorious, you felt self conscious. He could literally be a Grecian God, you could picture statues being made in his honour.

“You wanna-” Your eyes darted away. “You wanna sit with me?”

Why were you so awkward?

This was your husband friend.

Logan’s eyes widened an inch but he did nod. “Yeah sure.”

He made his way to the right side and plonked down. His weight caused you to slide a little over but you quickly righted yourself. You plucked the remote off of your knees and turned David Bowie down.

“I wanted to thank you.” You fiddled with the remote. “And I'm sorry I've stolen your bed.”

Logan shrugged. “You weren't well and I'd never kick you out of my bed.”

He was admitting things that were as innocent as they were damning.

“You're cute.”

“Hmm.” He raised his brow. “I remember you claiming that.”

There wasn't much more to say, instead you both listened as ‘ashes to ashes’ changed to ‘modern love’.

“This was my favourite song.” You commented, leaning your temple on his shoulder.

“I remember.” He agreed.

Pulling your head up in shock, “you do?”

“Yeah.” His eyes glanced at the screen. “My Y/N liked it too.”

“Do you- is this weird?”

“I don't know.”

“Do you miss your Y/N?”

He considered the question. “I didn't have enough of her. I think I missed the 'what ifs' and now I know you and him were married, it feels worse. What about you?”

“I miss him, it is a little weird to see you walking around with his face. It's odd because we slept together and I am attracted to you but there's that obstacle. Now the world isn't ending, we have to face the consequences of our actions, you know?” You hoped he understood what you meant. “Is it wrong to want you? You are so much like him yet I don't know you.”

You had said a lot of really important things, however he was stuck on just one. “You want me?”

That caused you to chuckle. “Of course, look at yourself. Sex on legs.”

He didn't care for moral dilemmas the way you did. You wanted him. He wanted you. It may just be his animal brain but, surely, that was the end of it.

“I mean you almost killed me walking in here all shirtless and tanned.”

You were trying to joke to defuse the tension but his eyes told you it wasn't working. They were heavy, lidded and staring straight into your soul. “As if you in my shirt, in my bed, hasn't done the same.” He spoke directly to your lips.

Oh yeah. For quickness you had borrowed a shirt, using it as a nightie. “Please, I'm not nearly as gorgeo-”

He cut you off with a kiss.

You melted.

Of course you did.

It was Logan.

Your hands found his cheek and chest. Both threading through the respective hair.

Logan slid his tongue across your bottom lip in a silent question and you were quick to answer. He kissed you frantically, needing you more than oxygen.

You were slowly being pressed into the mattress. It was a perk of the Adamantium, he was heavier than he meant and that solid mass turned you on.

You had to break the kiss to catch your breath and he merely explored your neck. Your ragged breaths were now being cut off as you spluttered and gasped.

Fuck.

Your hand on his cheek had meandered to his nape where you tugged at the hair as you twitched in pleasure, your back arching.

What were you saying earlier?

Consequences of actions?

None of that mattered when he bit down.

The position that he had manoeuvred you in caused your left leg to wrap around his hip as he kept nipping your neck. He loved to mark you.

Even if he didn't ‘claim’ you as his, back in the day, everyone knew because he would mark you. It was the animal in him. He needed the world to know who you belonged to.

“Logan.” You let out a breathy whisper against his temple.

The man raised his head to gaze into your eyes. Fuck. They were blown wide.

“Tell me to stop.” He warned.

You couldn't. Why would you?

Your response was a silent head shake.

Logan's eyes landed back onto your lips and he dipped to devour them.

His hands, that had been at your sides, were moving in opposite directions. One slid up to rest just under your breast and the other travelled down. Fingers tickling a path down to your core.

He played with the waistband of your underwear, pulling it taught against you and watching the wet patch smear.

Logan smirked and kissed your chin, then your neck, your collar bone, spent a while on your chest - licking and biting, claiming you, yet again - and then your stomach and finally kissed the material just above your core.

He swiped his tongue along the fabric and barely loosened his hold, before tearing it with his teeth.

By fuck.

This man would kill you one day.

The torn fabric hung loosely as he nuzzled his way between your folds, forcing your thighs over his shoulders. His nose separated the slick lips as he then ran his tongue across them. He fluttered his tongue around the wet hole and collected the slick on his muscle before depositing it on your clit. He took extra care caressing the sensitive bud, swirling his tongue sweetly.

The noises that came out of your mouth were whorish, you sounded like a two-bit 80s porn star and he loved every one.

Eventually Logan added a finger to your hole, it eased in, and curled it as he pumped his hand.

You tried so hard to keep it down, to try to sound less pornographic, but he was a monster. He knew how to get you going. In fact you were on the verge right now. Any second you'd be cumming on his finger.

“Keep going.” You begged.

Logan hummed in response and it vibrated your clit.

“Fuck, do that again.”

He began humming as he added a second finger and you saw stars. You clamped down and let out a moan as you came.

He kept pumping his fingers and lapped up your slick until you groaned and tapped his shoulder to give you a moment's respite.

Logan stilled his tongue with a frown but kissed your thighs, biting the pillowy flesh.

“Shit.” You looked down, dazed, at his smug face. “Fuck, you're perfect.”

“I can take my time with you now.” He admitted. “I couldn't back in the Void, not like I wanted to.”

“You did a pretty good job then, too.” You recalled.

He rolled his eyes but continued placing languid kisses on your abdomen. “You are the perfect one. This pussy is delicious.”

His devotion caused you to bite your lip. “Fuck me.” You order.

“I like it down here.” He suggested nuzzling his nose on your clit.

Your argument died with the groan that forced its way out of you.

He sucked at your clit and you swore you ripped strands of his hair out. It was a shame because his hair was so soft.

Logan lapped at your pussy all he wanted, building you up slowly.

“Do me a favour?” He spoke between your folds, they muffled him a little. “Hands and knees?”

You nodded, deliriously and eased your way up, spinning to present yourself like a needy bitch.

Logan growled at the sight, your dripping pussy spread for him.

He buried his face, again, but carried on upwards. His tongue now circling your other hole. You twitched at the new sensation but found you enjoyed it just as much so let him have his fun.

He kept playing with you, teasing you with his fingers until you were shaking.

“Logan.” You warned.

He seemed to understand because he kept the same rhythm, rather than interrupting, and you came again.

He milked your orgasm again and licked a stripe from your clit to your ass, across your spine and back up to your neck.

“Mine.” He growled in your ear as you felt his tip line up. Both of his hands were on you, underneath his shirt, caressing your tits so it amazed you that you felt him notch and slowly ease his head into you.

Your eyes crossed in pleasure as he pulled out and pushed back in, the hole so wet it squelched louder than you could moan.

He huffed, unhappy with your shirt and ripped another item of clothing you were wearing. The shirt was discarded behind you but the waistband of your panties still sat on your hips, slowly moving higher with each thrust.

You knew he was holding himself back, afraid he'd hurt you, so as he pushed in you pushed back.

You cried out as he hit that spot inside you. “Harder.”

Logan caught your drift and picked up the pace. It really didn't take a lot of convincing.

He slammed into you from behind, pushing you further into the mattress, making you present yourself more.

He sat up and if he could die, he wanted this to be the last thing he saw.

You were amazing.

He collected all of your hair and eased you upwards, once again, nipping at your nape. There was something about the nape that transfixed him. He loved your smell and you smelt the most from your nape, he adored it but his own mingled with yours was something else entirely.

He needed you.

It was so painfully obvious.

How had he not admitted that to his version of you?

What a fucking idiot he was.

“Lo.” You could only say his name but he knew. You were close.

“Mmhmm.” He agreed, nibbling your earlobe. “I need another one, c’mon.”

You couldn't even hear his request over your third orgasm. This was different though. This was wetter. You instantly worried, what was happening? But Logan gasped.

“Fuck.” He stuttered inside you, pushing you down as his claws made an appearance at each side of your shoulders. “Fuck did you just squirt?”

“I-I don't know.” Your voiced muffled into the pillow, a hand patted your utterly soaked legs. “I've not done that before.”

He groaned, still rocking inside you. Logan held himself up via his claws and pounded into you with a whole new energy. He was frantic, frenzied. It didn't take long for him to spill inside.

His claws still barely held his weight but he wouldn't crush you.

“Shit, sorry.” He spoke once his senses returned. “I should've as-”

“Shut up, that was more than fine.” You panted against the pillow.

Logan kissed your temple and slowly retracted from the mattress and you. As soon as he was out you felt empty.

“Hmm.” You grumbled.

“What?” He chuckled.

“Put it back in.”

Logan knew you were real but he found himself in disbelief that someone this perfect could exist.

“Let's swap positions and I will.” He flopped over onto his spine and you followed sheathing his dick back into you.

You groaned and found yourself relaxing onto his chest.

This was possibly the best day you'd ever had.

“I'm sleepy but wake me up in an hour and we can do that again.” You gave him a cheeky wink.

Part 7

@geeksareunique @lovelyvaderx @melissa-ashe @st1nkabutt @maximumchilddreamland @ravenmedows @vulgarfuckinvirgo77 @bisasterbisexual @tzurue @narniansmagic @seamlessepiphany

[scoobydoodean]

I have 2 spn accounts, a Deancentric blog that ships Destiel and another account that unintentionally follows a lot of Samgirl blogs. So one blog follows majority Deangirl blogs and the other incidentally follows a lot of Samgirl blogs. And here's the major difference I've noticed on the different dashboards.

Deangirl dashboard: Great meta analysis. Beautiful art. Level 1 and 2 headcanons (largely based in canon). Pro-Dean. Stumble across reblogs of Deancrit. Bitter Deangirl blogging. Generally fair portrayal and discussion of the positive and negative traits and actions of Dean, Sam and Cas. Deanhater anons.

Samgirl dashboard: An entirely different pool of beautiful art. Whole lotta woobie!Sam art where Dean is his abuser. Deancrit about Dean being an abuser. Bitter Samgirl blogging about how people will find any excuse to hate Sam. "How can anyone be Samcrit he has done nothing wrong ever." Level 5 headcanons (you literally ignored canon to make that up). More about how Dean is Sam's abuser. So many posts about how awful Samcrit is. "Do Deangirls really think that Dean cries himself to sleep at night thinking that ppl thinks he doesn't know how to read." I have yet to see any actual Samcrit posts (not even links or reblogs from Sam defenders), not even after literally searching the Samcrit tag for it. The Samcrit tag is full of Samgirls crying about Samcrit and no actual Samcrit. "Samgirls are feral, but we need to be bc of the hate ppl throw Sam's way."

I literally have to block so many people on the incidentally Samgirl dashboard bc I'm not on Tumblr to randomly stumble across a post on how Dean is a toxic stalker who abused Sam by changing Amelia's number in his cellphone. Do you have any idea on why Samgirls seem to feel so attacked all the time even though I literally only ever see *them* attacking Dean?

If you dig deep enough into any fandom, you will encounter people who fetishize "helpless victimhood". Some fandoms attract more people with those particular proclivities than others. Supernatural and Sam in particular attracts people who hold those sorts of aesthetic interests because of his relationship toward accountability versus Dean's.

Dean is a character with an overactive sense of responsibility. He blames himself for the Lindbergh baby and unemployment and every child murdered by a shrtiga from 1990 to 2005 because he went to play an arcade game when he was 10. He also blames himself for things like Jessica dying and Sam not being in school. Other characters pile on this blame frequently. John blames Dean for Sam getting hurt (1.18). Ruby tells him (and Sam) that Sam is a weak baby who won't psychologically survive without Dean there to protect him (3.11). Meg alleges that Dean is "dragging Sam everywhere" (1.16). Sam rewrites reality from 1.05 to 1.21 to make Dean responsible for his burning desire for revenge. Cas and Zachariah and Gabriel blame Dean when Sam breaks the last seal because he didn't stop Sam in time. Sam blames Dean for him drinking demon blood first because Dean wasn't there to protect him and then—in a complete 180—because Dean is smothering (4.04, 5.05). Dean generally absorbs blame when it is piled at his feet because he has been blamed for things he couldn't control for most of his life and thus he feels guilty and responsible for things even when him being responsible makes no logical sense. He's never a victim of anything—everything is always on him.

Sam, on the other hand, tends to eventually deflect blame because he can't handle the gnawing bite of it for long. It reminds him too deeply of being left isolated and alone as a child and the feelings of otherness and wrongness he developed through that neglect. When his actions ultimately have consequences he didn't foresee and/or that he finds undesirable, it makes him feel ugly and unaccepted and he can't face it so he eventually finds a way to make what happened someone else's fault—usually Dean's fault. Nothing is ever on him. He's always at least a little bit of a victim and Dean always carries at least partial responsibility for his decisions (1.21, 1.08, 4.04, 5.05, 8.23, 11.01)

In other words, Sam has an under-active sense of responsibility and Dean has an overactive responsibility and that dynamic—driven by their childhood experiences—places them into a vicious cycle of blame being cast onto Dean for Sam's decisions and Dean absorbing it. Dean absorbing it reinforcing the narrative for samgirls with a victimhood fetish that Dean deserves blame and that Sam truly is a helpless baby. They never watch what actually happens on the show to see whether this narrative that Dean is responsible for everything and Sam is a helpless baby lines up with the actual events that occurred onscreen because why would they? That would ruin their enjoyment. Sam isn't interesting to them outside of his capacity to be mourned as some sort of helpless martyr. And yes—they will cry and moan about how horrible and unfair Sam's suffering is, but it isn't because they're having a bad time. They're having a great time. They love thinking about Sam that way. They wouldn't be here blogging about it day in and day out for the last 20 years if they didn't actually want to see exactly what they're seeing.

Related tags of note:

#sams motivations

#taurus sam in the flesh

#In which Sam is not a helpless little waif with his hands cast over his eyes being carried along by the tides of the immutable sea

#sam the hunter

#sams follower/leader false dichotomy

#parentification

[terras-domain]

Hell for Most, Heaven for Me

Prisoner Y/N / Sister JiU (Kim Minji - Dreamcatcher)

Tags: VIOLENT STORY (murderer background y/n), prison au,prisoner y/n (reader), nun JiU, rough sex,losing virginity, dub con, sex in VERY inappropriate places (please do not do this ;-;), hint of breeding I guess

Words: 3.8k

terra's note: helloooo terra here. This one was in my mind to do for so long, I wanted to make it but I was so worried if this is allowed or nah, cuz well, for some reasons. And an extra note I kept losing my works here and there i have no idea why ;-; But anyways, I hope this I a good read for you and as always, hope you have a nice day and love you all <33

"I hereby sentence you to 10 years of life in prison, and no parole" were the words echoing through my mind, after being convicted with murder. The bus, the last vehicle I'd probably ride for another 10 years, taking me to my new home. Looking through the dusty window, I could see the cold breeze blowing east, trees bending to the right, pointing to the gigantic grey building, lacking in life in joy. "Have a good look inmate. That's your new home" the guard, sitting across the bus, looking into my eyes, knowing the emotions I'm feeling all too well. He's sent plenty of people like me here.

Get in, check into your 5 star suite and wear your fancy orange jumpsuit; that was the process I was brought to, registering myself as the new inmate in a jail I don't even want to remember the name of. Dragged like a dog towards my cell, the guard slammed the door shut, leaving me alone with my thoughts. "Enjoy your stay, maniac." A stern voice echoes the area, the guard laughing as he walks away, making me curl up on my bed. The murder, the death and crimes I did, as much as they were right to call me a monster, it was deserved. Seeing my own wife cheating with my brother, nothing in my life could prepare me for that. The kitchen knife was just conveniently close to me, it took me less than a second to have it in my hand, and another second for it to be covered in their blood. I've lost it, yet I couldn't care any less. "Fuck that bitch."

Morning arises, the guards will usually brutally beat a bell to wake us up, forcing us to hard labour, often times picking up trash on the streets whilst supervised by them. "Quit slacking, y/n! You think I'm blind?" One of the guards yelled, her voice could easily break my eardrums, it hurts. What hurts more is the fact she's a woman, the same damn species that bitch, that cheating bitch was. I clicked my tongue, looking back and was on the brink of snapping, but my conscious got the best of me. "Yes ma'am." I obediently nodded, surrendering as I continued my community service, being a mere slave to the law. I was restless, my body could barely contain the anger. A sight of a woman in itself infuriates me. Getting a little rest in the restroom, washing my face was a right call. Looking into the reflection in the mirror, staring at the wet face of a man who's fallen down a rabbit hole of hatred. My eyes darken, my body slowly shrinking yet swollen, it just didn't make sense. "What am I doing?"

My restlessness needs answers, or at least, something to sooth myself. After community service, the guards let us have our own private time, wandering around the prison to do what you want. I stumbled upon the prison's church, seems like a good place to recuperate. It's like they always say, when in doubt, find God, or I hope they do. Entering the small room, it looks nothing bigger than 4 of my rooms, and my room looks like it was designed to fit a rat. There's probably not many visitors around here, it's a home for criminals. I sighed as I sat on one of the multiple free benches, crossing myself as I began to pray. My wish to find myself inner peace, my wish to fully heal myself from my sins, and most importantly my wish to have courage to forgive what has happened in the past. My prayers were going smoothly, but it was quite bothered when I heard footsteps. "Who the fuck goes to church, whilst being an inmate?" I monologued, looking behind myself to see the figure that was walking in the holy space, and that's when my eyes felt revived, seeing something so beautiful, my mind went blank.

"Welcome child. What brings you here?" Her voice alone made me lose my tension, it felt as if I was on a cloud. I was too stunned to speak, my mind couldn't process her beauty, let alone process human words to speak. "Forgive me, is everything okay? Or-" she paused, stuttering as if she's afraid of the next words coming out of her gorgeous lips. "...are you mute per chance? I know some sign language to communicate if so." She eventually found her best words to form a sentence. Looking from her expression, it seems like she's trying her best not to offend me. Unlucky for her, my mind cleared out the clouds of delusion, behind that beauty, lays a species of humanity I would despise till my grave. "Oh no! I'm not disabled or anything. I was just, spacing out..." My eyes wide open, the sight of a maniac is what could describe my face right now but my voice sounds ever so lovely, as if my past self was doing the talking, the goody two shoes that let myself marry such a wicked bitch. My eyes scanned through the curves of the nun in front of me. Despite her body well covered, I could see how curvy and hot she is, not too thick but she definitely is an eye candy. "Oh I see. Well forgive me for bothering your prayers child. I was not here to disturb your conversation with Him. May your prayers be replied and may your life finds itself towards the right path." She gives a short bow, before moving towards the pillar, the symbol of what I believe is the place where she usually carries out her religious speech, that is if anybody is going to her speeches. What's more important though is her walk, the way her hips move left and right, showing how curvy her ass is. I couldn't hold it, my mind doesn't want to keep imagining. It wants to live it.

My legs starts to move, marching towards her from behind as I grabbed her from the back, my left arm wrapping around her midriff whilst my right on her ass cheek. "ngh- what are you doing?! Do you know where we are right now, inmate??" She questioned, her voice sounds timid as my arms venture around her body, feeling the smooth cloth of her body hiding the treasures underneath. "I prayed for lots of things, sister. Seems like God answered the call pretty soon~" I grinned, my arm groping her ass, making me grunt from pleasure, oh how long have I waited to touch a woman's ass. That bitch of a wife wouldn't let me for months, eventually I found out that cheap slut's ass is for other guys. No worries, I'll take this nun's big ass now and fuck it the way I like it!

It was heaven for me, two days in prison felt like forever, and that forever bores me. With this bitch of a nun in my hands, I can do whatever I please. "No- Aaah! Please stop, this is not the place for such vulgar actions," the woman pleads. But unfortunate for her I don't take orders from women any longer, not anymore. Rubbing my cock underneath my pants while she grunts and tries to move away. Makes me want to have her even more. Despite my joyous time enjoying the body of the hot nun, there's always things that makes things complicated. "Y/N? Where are ya? You gotta get back to your cell!" A voiced shouted from a distance. It's the guards, I thought. I had to let the nun go, letting her pure body free this time, but I'm damn sure this isn't over. The guard steps in the holy space, seeing me stand in front of the nun, smiling at her. "Y/N, your times up, get back to your cell!" He ordered, before shifting his gaze to the curvaceous woman. "Sorry Miss Minji, he's new. I guess he spent too much time praying huh?" He giggled, completely oblivious to the fact I was groping her before he crashed the party. "It's okay, sir. The inmate was just....asking me some questions. It seems he is just starting his journey to find God." She explained, and obvious lie for the both of us, but to that stupid bastard of a guard had no idea. "Oh, I see. Well hopefully this rascal doesn't bother you too much, Miss Minji." The guard laughed it off, in his face reflects confusion as he took his baton and smacks my head, making me start walking out to head back to my cell. "Now that's enough learning for today Y/N, back to your little mansion you go!" He exclaimed, making me take my steps back towards my cell.

In my own cell, my legs are crossed while I rest on the crusty old mattress. Sure it feels like I'm laying on a rock, but in my mind I couldn't felt more relieved. In my mind is only Minju, I didn't even think a second of my late wife, the horrible woman that made me commit the crimes I do today. In fact, that crime is the sole purpose I have this opportunity, and I couldn't miss it for the world. "Minji....you will be mine!"

JIU POV

Getting home to my convent, my mind simply could not brush away the thoughts of y/n. He was a sinful man, and what he did couldn't be said any worse. But for some reason, my heart is racing, it screams for more of that. Is that what sexual pleasure means? Being a holy child of God, I was never interested into indulging myself into such filthy acts, but that was too much for me to resist. Resisting in bed that night I made sure to lock the rooms of my own room, hoping the rest of the sisters to not find me in this state, in heat and about to perform such sinful acts. My body naked without a thread, as I look down, my shaven pussy dripping wet. I gulped, my thoughts conflicting between each other, but eventually it was no longer in my head. I start to slowly touch my clitoris that made me instantly let out a moan. "Aaah~!" I covered my mouth, turning down the volume of my sexual voices as I touch myself, wishing nobody will see me. My fingers kept moving on its own, now penetrating into my pussy, fingering myself. I could yelp and scream, but my hand muffled the sounds to ensure it doesn't reach anybody's ears to listen. My fingers slide in and out of my pussy, touching myself as my body tingles, it couldn't last any longer. "nghhh- noooo...aaah!" Eventually my body gave up, spurting cum all over my mattress, making me moan out load for a few seconds as my urges got the best of me. I panted, looking around my room, nothing really catches my eye, only the fact my body was so into the pleasure of getting groped and touched by a dangerous criminal who so happens to hate women. But somehow with all those issues regarding him, I want to see him again, and I want all of that again.

Y/N's POV

Days gone by, and that hot nun just couldn't leave my mind. How I want to absolutely ruin her and use her as my own personal toy, I just couldn't stand it. Unfortunately, this isn't a lavish life where everything goes my way. Prison life is as horrible as it sounds. Humiliating tasks to complete, food that even rats wouldn't dare to touch, and to top it all off, the annoyance from the shouting yappers they call guards just makes life so tense. Luckily enough, I made acquaintance with a guy that sells cigarettes for some dirty money, and it's my only pathway to maintain my sanity in this new life.

With a blunt between my lips, my footsteps move towards the holy room, a place where it's expected to find the hot chick in prison area. Creaking the door open, I could see her stood in the room just as expected, cleaning the church area. Putting out the spark on my cig, I threw it to the nearest trashcan as I drop my footsteps towards her. "Missed me, Sister Minji?" I smirked, as my footsteps echoes the room. No reply, not surprised by that. I would expect her to actually make me leave or call the guards on me to make me go back to my cell. "What you did the other day....was a sin, my child." She responded after a minute of silence. She didn't flinch nor make a step back, making it more inviting for me to come closer. As we reach closer, only an inch apart of each other, holding her shoulders as I caress them a bit. "My wife was a complete asshole, Minji..." My voice speaks out, almost like a whisper to her ears. "...and I need you, to repent her sins." As I finished, my hands pulled her in, attaching my lips on hers. Kissing her deeply, my mouth tries to get a reply from the nun, hoping she opens up a bit more. "Mmmh...nghhhh~" Minji sounded her restrains, trying to resist. Eventually however, her lips part ways as she opens up, giving me a chance to make out with her deeply. "Mmmmh~ just like that Minji. Such a good girl" I groaned, enjoying my mouth on her innocent lips. After a while of making out, I pulled away and looked into her eyes, giving her space to breath. "God, please forgive me for my acts." Her face blushes, looking down, ashamed of her acts. "God won't hear nothing from you today. Might as well just use that mouth for something better."

I held her tight and guided her to fall to her knees. With zero resistance from Minji, it was easy for me to put her down. "You wanted this, don't you?" I grinned as I undo my pants, letting down the lower half of my jumpsuit to reveal my hardening boner. "It's not like that. I-I" she was hesitant. It was obvious in those pretty cat-like eyes her mind is going back and forth trying to get an answer. Unlucky for her, no is never an answer here. My cock is already out, twitching on her face as I rest it on her smooth pale skin. And I need her innocent body to relieve all the tension building up in me. "Suck." I ordered, but her small face shook in rejection, making me sigh in disappointment. "Guess I have to do it myself huh?" I grabbed the back of her scalp, gripping it hard enough to make her yelp in the bit of pain as I stuff her mouth with my cock, pushing it as deep as I possibly can in one push. "Nghhhh~! Accckk..!" Minji screamed, muffled by my member between her pretty lips yet echoes through the room. The muffled gags and chokes excites me, making my cock grow bigger in her tight throat as I plunge in deeper. Despite being her first time doing oral sex, taking it rough the first time too, she's doing well to stay awake. Even though tears running down her eyes and her face filled with her own spit and precum, the sight is such a beauty, it made me enjoy the whole process of my hips moving back and forth skullfucking her innocence out.

A few moments of thrusting in and out of Minji's face, I finally decided to pull out, letting her have time to breathe. "Bwaaah.... aaaah, goodness." She gasped for air, trying to gain her conscious, then moving away as she expected my little game is over. "Oh Sister Minji, where do you think you're going?" I grabbed her small forearm, stopping her movements. Her eyes widen, shocked from the revelation, and her tight body was immediately brought to one of the benches in the church, where I made her hands on the seats, bending her over. If it were up to me, I would've torn her garments apart and ravish her. But that would probably cause trouble for me with the guards, so I just took off her maxi and reveal her curved ass, only covered by her white panties, stained with her own wet juices. "Look at you~ so wet down here already~" I giggled as I gave her a firm spank, making her grasp the bench and scream out a moan. "I- It was too much for me to resist." She responded, her voice sounded so fragile and submissive, making my cock throb in excitement. My hand pulled down her white panties to her ankles. Now her untouched treasure fully exposed to me, I couldn't resist the urge to give a touch on her wet entrance. My soft touch on her pure innocence made her let out a sensual moan, resulting in a big grin on my face. It's a sign she's giving in. I keep exploring, increasing my pace on her touch-craving pussy, circling around her wet clitoris, where she constantly twitched and grunted from the sensation. "Aaaah...y/n..." Her voice sounds more sensual as her body looked weaker and could barely last. That's when I start to go rough on her again, pushing my index and middle finger inside her pulsing walls. Immediately as my fingers pushed in, she immediately screamed and moaned, enjoying the sensation as her body vibrates from pleasure. "OH GOSH Y/N NOOOO!" Her reaction only prompted me to go faster. "You like it, don't you? Being a slut in God's holy space? Showing off how much of a slut you are~!" I teased, my fingers reaching as deep as they could, while her moans escalated. "No...please do not say that...it is- aaah!" The moment she started to talk back, I immediately went faster and rougher, touching her sensitive parts to cause her to create a scene in the church with her moans echoing through the room. "No- nghhhh... I can not hold it any longer! Forgive me My Lord....I'm, kyaaahhh!" Her screams ignites her climax, cumming on my fingers and wetting herself as her juices drip down her thighs.

"Haa...haaahh" The gorgeous lady panted, laying on the bench as her mind process the depurification of her body unfold in such a holy area. But her eyes kept staring at mine, not with anger nor grudge, but confusion. As if she's having a war between herself, trying to pick up words of what she might decide to do after all this. I kneeled down, my eyes level to hers as I gave her a rub on the scalp. "Tell me, Sister. What is it in your mind?" I asked, as my cock throbs, waiting for more action. Minji gulped, her mind racing around looking for a decision. Or maybe she already does, yet too shy to ask. "P-please...please have sex with me more, Y/n." She muttered, sparking joy and lust within me. "Then in position, bitch!" I ordered, giving her face a firm smack to show her where she stands now, nothing more than a little slut for me, my entertainment in my 10-year sentence. She nodded obediently, her back now on the bench as she spread her legs to show her soaked cunt. And oh God, what a sight, a religious woman completely offering her pussy to a prisoner like a cheap slut she is, nothing makes me happier. I stroked my cock as I get closer to her pussy, slowly sliding my tip in. I looked at Minji's face looking at how she's taking my tip, since this is her first time. "Aaaah.....it's so big y/n" She whined, but eventually got used to my size as her breathe starts to ease out. "Seems like you're ready for the next step." I was never planning on going easy on this ass, and I won't change my mind. My hips immediately buck back and forth, fucking her tight cunt as hard as possible. "Aaaah! Wait no ngaaaaah you are- God too rough!" Minji screamed, feeling my cock plunging in and out of her tight virgin pussy, no mercy for her first time. "Fuck do I care, Minji? You wanna get fucked don't you? Then fucking take it!" My hips got into a faster pace, going rough on her with no sign of mercy, making her scream. Although her screams were getting louder, she didn't seem to want to stop. Her arms on my shoulders, holding on me tight.

With her arms now on me, it gives me a good excuse to hold her tight and carry her up, holding her tight body whilst my cock stays inside her sweet cunt. "Fuck- you're clingy aren't you?" I grinned as I humped her body upwards, making Minji move up and down my cock, with gravity helping drag her body down to take every inch of me. "Nghhh- forgive me y/n....I can't resist it any longer. I need your penis even more now!" The way her lips moved while she speaks, it turns me on, it drives me crazy. I brought ourselves near a wall, making the slutty nun's back face the wall. It gives me an easier pathway to thrust, fucking this bitch as rough as I want while holding her by her ass cheeks. "Aaaah~! Y/N it feels so good, gaaaah~!" her moans felt like music, a sensation I longed for so many years after my wife turned into the cheating bitch she was. Those memories can now be buried, a new sensation arises, with this tight slut being mine, and mine only. My lips now crashes onto hers, kissing her deeply whilst she took my hard cock in and out easily now after a lot of rough strokes. "Mmmmh~! Fuck- Minji, I wanna cum...I wanna cum in your fucking pussy!" I grunted, my cock couldn't hold it any longer as my shaft yearns to unload itself. "Wait no- that's too dan-" without waiting her to finish speaking, I already reached my limit, my cock starts to let loose, shooting ropes of cum deep inside her pussy, filing up her womb. "Aaaaah...kyaaaah!" Minji held me tight, accepting my rewards and my sign of marking, an officiation to being my slut. It wouldn't be enough to mark her insides, my mouth aims towards her neck, kissing and sucking on it before biting on it, my fangs leaving a purple mark, a hickey as a sign of ownership. My member took her time to finish, emptying myself in her womanhood. I panted, barely feeling my legs as I quickly walked towards a nearby bench to sit, with Minju still on top and my cock still inside her. I didn't want to say a word, and so does she. Our only exchange of communication were our lips kissing, tongues clashing between on one another. Our eyes interlock as we know from this day forward, heaven felt so distant, it's beyond reachable. But this sensation, for now, is our heaven.

[ecogirl2759]

THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!!!!

Here it is, guys!

The Kiyotaka Ishimaru Mastermind comic from 4コマ KINGS Vol. 4!

SPECIFICALLY CITING THIS SO THAT OTHERS KNOW WHERE TO FIND THIS COMIC!!!

Huge, HUUUUGE thanks to @panicuriprince!!! They helped me with clearing the text, rewording panels and putting everything together! Pages 4, 5, and 6 are her doing! PLEEEASE go send her some love, they REALLY helped me get this done and I literally couldn't have done this without her :D

There's a document below the break with more literal translations for the comic, as well as translation notes, a link to a Google Drive folder with ALL of the pages, and other interesting tidbits! Please give it a read!

The Japanese pages will also be below the break! (As well as a little spiel of mine. It's quite long, so be careful!)

(also please forgive how many tags there are here-)

Remember to read right to left <3

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As promised, here are the Japanese panels:

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AND HERE'S THE DOCUMENT!

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✨ WOW ✨

I can't begin to describe to you all how AMAZING this feels!

I've spent the past 2 years on what felt like a wild goose chase, desperately searching for this one comic that I wasn't even sure existed.

This all started with me finding a photo on Tumblr of this comic and spiraling into this deep dive. First I didn't know if this was even real, then I found out that this comic series had ceased printing, then I couldn't be sure which book it was actually in.

There is literally almost no information out there about the fourth volume of this anthology series. I've said this before and I'll say it again, volumes 1 and 2 both have full translations that you can download off of other websites, and while 3 doesn't seem to have that, there are a lot of separately translated comics floating around out there, namely on Pinterest.

The 4th volume had NOTHING! No matter how hard I searched or how many links I clicked, no one has really said ANYTHING about this book, which was why this specific comic was so hard for me to find.

But I have all of the books now, so I definitely want to do this again for all of them so that people have easy access to these translations. I'll start with book 4 though haha.

Also, I'm not sure who it was, but HUUUUGE thanks to the kind stranger on Ebay who was willing to sent me the whole series!! I literally don't know where I would be right now if these books weren't with me, so thank you <3

Also, thank you to all of my Japanese teachers that I've had throughout the years. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have been able to understand the comic, haha! One even helped me out in the early stages of this process, so extra thanks to him <3

I feel really passionate about accessible media. I think that everyone should be able to read and find whatever they want. That's part of the reason that I've endeavored on this project. I want everyone to be able to seek out and find these comics if they really want to. And, of course, I want everyone to be able to understand them, too.

So please enjoy this comic! If you'd like to repost it, I'd appreciate being credited just so that others know where they can go to find the full comic.

This one-man project isn't so one-man anymore, and I seriously can't thank everyone who's helped me enough!!! I'm honestly so glad I didn't have to go through this alone <33

ALSO

If you see anything, LITERALLY ANYTHING, that you think I could change/improve (like formatting or different interpretations of the Japanese text), PLEASE shoot me a message!! I want to make sure this comic is as good as it can be, and I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Even if you don't have a suggestion and would just like to reach out to ask a question or something, PLEASE don't be afraid to do that! I know I get really cold feet when sending people asks, so I'm going to reassure everyone who needs to hear it now: You're never going to be a bother to me! I love getting asks! Whenever anyone sends me something, I get really excited <3

So ask questions! Tell me I did a horrible job and got none of the text right! Ask why Ishimaru literally cannot be evil! I don't know the answer, either!

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Thank you all so much for the support and the kind words you've been giving me ever since I first announced I was translating this comic! Your support has been extremely motivating to me! Also, you guys are hilarious with your tags!

Seriously, thank you so much! Words literally can't express how I feel right now, but I guess the best way I could describe it is cathartic. I'm REALLY happy that I finally get to share 2 years worth of work with you guys! You've all been a massive help to me in more ways than one <333

KEEP BEING AWESOME <3

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

broken trust. [part 5] l Joel Miller

Summary:  you used to be very close, but he broke your heart, now your paths have crossed again

Warnings: +18, angst, swearing, mentioning about sex, violence, blood, crying, guns

A/N: this part is finished this way and not otherwise, because I'm preparing an epilogue. I have to! this part seemed too long to me. I hope you will spend a few nice minutes reading my scribbles. a few people mentioned tagging - @vickie5446 @dreamtofus @missladym1981 @hiroikegawa 🖤 

[PART 3]

A murmur went through the hall and people stared at Tommy uneasily. This wasn't good news. When all the patrols returned to Jackson, one group didn’t bring you good information..

"It's not a big group." Tommy continued ignoring the quiet discussions. "Four, maybe five men. They're armed. Michael and Alex have been watching them for a while."

"They don't seem friendly, dude." Michael, the man with the longer gray beard shook his head. "I think it's the ones from the group we ran into a while ago."

Tommy looked at Joel standing nearby.

"He means the ones you and Ellie met a while ago." He explained. "Y/N, you were very lucky you ran into each other back then."

You threw a quick glance at Joel. He must have been thinking the same thing you were. You were very lucky.

"We need to get our car back before they get to it. I know you're fresh off patrol, I understand if any of you want to back out." the men immediately gave their consent to leave Jackson again "Alright then. We'll meet at the main gate in an hour. Check the weapons. If we succeed, it'll be a quick thing."

People started to leave and only a few, like you, remained in the pub. You had nowhere to go, except to just glance at your empty apartment, so you stayed to drink some warm coffee and rest.

"You were very lucky." Tommy approached you "When you found Joel and Ellie."

"Yeah, I guess." you replied, turning the warm mug over in your hands "One of them gave me a hard time anyway. I don't know how I couldn’t have guessed that there might be more of them."

"You couldn't have helped it." the man sighed "Besides, you found Joel, and for that I will always be grateful." he looked towards his brother, who was sipping whiskey at a long bar "How did the patrol go? Do you get along?"

"It's complicated." you replied, forcing a smile.

"My brother can be complicated." Tommy looked at you carefully after a moment. "Y/N, are you sure you want to come with us? You can stay, no one will hold it against you. You look tired."

"It's fine. I want to go. After all, it was our car."

Tommy nodded and patted you on the shoulder, then went to the next group of men.

Despite trying to smile, you felt every muscle in your body. The patrol had worn you out not only physically. 

On the way back, you and Joel barely spoke. You felt that some chapter had ended between you, but you weren't sure what awaited you next. However, you didn't feel as many bad emotions as before. All the anger and sadness had spilled out on Joel in that forest, and he accepted it, feeling that he deserved it all.

A familiar touch on your back brought your thoughts back to Jackson. Joel stood by you as if unsure that what he was doing was the right thing by approaching you at all.

"It's time," he said calmly. "If you wanted to stay..."

"No, I'm ready." You finished your cold coffee and quickly stood up. "And you? Are you feeling okay?"

He nodded, but a faint smile appeared on his lips. Something had changed between you.

It was already dusk and it had gotten really cold. You were walking through the forest, divided into smaller groups. A few people had horses. You, however, felt more confident on your own feet. Tommy and Joel, and a few other riders weren’t far from you. Everything was going well. You walked between trees more carefully and slowly approached the place where you had left your car.

"I feel safer knowing that there are guards left in Jackson too." the man walking near you muttered.

In your mind, you agreed with him. You couldn't leave Jackson without protection. Everyone, however, was counting on you to return quickly and without any major problems.

You heard a strange crack behind you and turned around, aiming your gun.

"Ellie?!" you hissed, noticing a familiar face in the increasingly dim light. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I'm going with you." the girl replied, pulling her gun out of her belt.

"Joel knows?" you asked, but you already knew the answer. "Of course not! Ellie! He'll kill you and then me! Go back to Jackson!"

"Y/N, we're so far away that it would be stupid to send me there alone." the girl noticed, smiling slyly. "I'll stay with you. I'm safe here, with you."

You shook your head in disbelief. You knew Ellie was right. You couldn't let her go to the city alone.

"You're going right next to me, do you understand?"

She nodded and followed you like a shadow.

Now your nerves were strained to the limit. Every sound, every clatter, made your heart beat faster. However, you calmly reached the edge of the forest and saw a car abandoned in the middle of the road.

Everything looked normal. There were no infected nearby, and the vehicle seemed untouched since your escape.

"What are we waiting for?" whispered Ellie after a few minutes when, despite everything, you didn't come out of the trees.

"We're waiting for the signal." You answered her quietly, "Look."

On the other side, someone flashed a small flashlight at you. It was Tommy signaling that the opposite side of the road was safe.

"Can we go now?" Ellie was excited.

"I think so. But..."

"The last one at the car is a stinking egg!"

You didn't have time to catch her. Your fingers only brushed her jacket when the girl ran out of the forest and headed towards the car. Your heart froze for a split second, and then you ran after her with all your might.

"Ellie! Stop!" you hissed.

But you noticed immediately that something was wrong. A strange movement on your left side, it wasn't any infected.

"Ellie!" you shouted after the girl.

That made her look over her shoulder. She slowed down, and you reached out your hand towards her, and then several things happened at once.

A loud gunshot echoed through the quiet area, you ran into Ellie and fell to the ground with her, hiding her under your body, and then you heard the bang of more gunshots.

You tried not to move, afraid that whatever you did would lead to the girl getting hurt. You wouldn't forgive yourself for that, and you couldn't look Joel in the face.

You heard the pounding of hooves, screams, and more gunshots. Tommy's distinct voice, calling out to everyone. After a few minutes, everything seemed to quiet down.

You slid off Ellie and rolled onto your back, exhausted. The girl stood up and that's when you noticed it. Her pale face was terrified and her hands...

"Ellie! Is that blood?" you gasped out "Are you hurt?!"

The girl shook her head and her lips barely moved.

"Y/N... That's not my blood." she whispered.

You didn't understand her words at first. Not her blood? Then whose blood was it?

And then you understood. You looked at your side where a dark stain was growing with every passing moment.

"Shit!"

The adrenaline in your blood effectively minimized the feeling of pain, but when you realized what had happened, everything was more intense.

"We have to stop the bleeding!" the girl whispered. "Like Doc said! We have to put pressure on it!"

When she put her hands on your side you writhed in pain, moaning.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N! I'm so sorry!" Ellie whimpered "Joel! Joel!"

But it wasn't Joel who heard her voice.

"It was worth waiting for you." a male voice boomed from behind the car "I knew someone would come for that car! Now they'll have to talk to me if they want you alive."

The man was pointing a gun at you. He was tall and bulky, he must have been hiding in the car so neither of you saw him. You quickly grabbed Ellie's arm to hide her behind you.

The man's eyes wandered from Ellie to you. He was desperate, and you couldn't do anything being wounded. You lost your gun the moment you threw yourself at Ellie, and she had your blood on her hands.

"Listen, this won't do you any good..." you started slowly, trying to calm him down and buy some time "Our group is bigger..."

"Shut up, bitch!" the gun aimed at you "If they want to get their ladies, they'll have to fucking talk to me!"

It was a second before a dark silhouette appeared behind him, in an instant the man hit his head on the hood of the car, and then again and again. The gun fell from his hand, and Ellie quickly ran up to pick it up from the asphalt.

The man's bloody face didn't even flinch as he fell to the ground.

"Joel!" Ellie squealed at the sight of him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" he growled angrily, but he noticed the traces of blood on her hands and face. "Did you..."

"Not me!" she interrupted quickly.

When his gaze fell on you, Joel could have sworn his heart had stopped beating.

"Joel..."

That was all you could stutter as he ran up to you. You hissed in pain as he moved your hands away, touching the still bleeding wound. You saw the fear in his eyes, but his decisions were quick and precise.

He picked you up and headed towards the car. Ellie quickly opened the door for him and put you inside, then she sat in the back.

"Joel? What happened?" Tommy rode up to the car on his horse, looking around nervously. "Is that Y/N?!"

"He shot her!" Joel growled, reaching under the keys lying in the glove compartment and turning on the engine.

"Take her to Jackson! We'll take care of the rest!"

The car started off with a screech. Ellie dug out the first aid kit from under the seat and pulled out a bandage, the same one you gave Joel a while ago. She leaned over, pressing it against your side, you groaned loudly in pain.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she stuttered quickly, but didn't stop pressing.

"What the fuck were you doing there?!" Joel snapped, throwing a quick look at you. "You were supposed to stay in Jackson!"

"Leave it." you groaned. "She's fine..."

"Yeah, but you're pouring blood on the passenger seat!"

The car jumped on the bumps in the road and your scream of pain filled the interior. Joel didn't say a word, focusing on the road. His hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly that he was surprised it hadn't broken yet.

When he saw the gates of the town, he blinked his lights a few times and the doors opened, letting him inside so that he didn't even have to slow down much. The car stopped only in front of the clinic.

"Y/N?"

"I'm fine." you replied, although your eyes closed every now and then.

Doc was surprised when the clinic doors opened with a bang and Joel stood there with you helpless in his arms.

"Help her."

That was all he could say. Doc pointed to the bed, then quickly rolled up your shirt. You groaned and writhed in pain. His fingers touched your bleeding wound, trying to determine its size.

"I think it missed the most important organs." Doc muttered after a moment. "But I'll have to open it and pull the bullet out."

The door opened again and Ellie went inside. The sight must have been terrible, because the girl's face was pale as snow and she barely managed to mumble:

"Is she going to be okay?"

"Run for Mrs. Waltz!" Doc ordered her quickly. "I need help!"

The girl nodded and quickly ran out of the building. Doc went to the cabinet, starting to prepare the tools for the surgery.

"Joel..."

Your voice was weak, but he reacted instantly. He grabbed your blood-stained hand, and with the other he stroked your hair.

"It's okay, baby. You're safe." He said, feeling something stab painfully into his heart, and his mind screaming that he was lying to himself "I know it hurts. But it's gonna be okay, Doc will help you."

"I'm not scared, Joel..." your voice was barely audible. "I'm with you, I'm not scared..."

When you closed your eyes, time stopped.

The sink was full of red-tinged water. He stared at it as if hypnotized. The steamy bathroom was silent and the silence was in his head too. He just stared at something that used to be a part of you.

If someone ever asked him what happened after Doc made the decision to operate, Joel wouldn't be able to recall that moment. Everything was like a fog.

He knew he was sitting in the waiting room completely frozen, staring at his bloody hands. He didn't notice Ellie sitting on the other side of the room with her legs pulled up on the chair, as quiet as ever.

He didn't remember Tommy, who had appeared out of breath with the information that only the man Joel wanted to beat had survived.

He just sat there feeling that if he heard bad news, what was left of his heart would shatter into a thousand pieces.

After more than an hour, Doc appeared. His apron was covered in your blood too. He spoke strange words, Joel wasn't sure if he even understood them.

"Is she alive?" he asked finally.

"Yes, she is." Doc nodded. "Her body is very weak, but she is alive. You brought her in at the last moment, Joel. You saved her."

But he didn't feel it. He saw you through the open door, lying unconscious in the bed, and tears came to his eyes. Doc patted him on the shoulder, suggesting that he go home, wash up, and rest. There was nothing more he could do for you.

Joel put on clean clothes and then simply fell onto the bed and fell asleep in an instant. He had no dreams. He didn't even know how long he had been asleep. The weak, slowly setting sun filled his bedroom and for a moment he even forgot about everything that had happened the previous night. He came to the conclusion that he must have slept the whole day.

Ellie didn't wake him up, though. She left him a meal on the table before she left the house.

He found her some time later in the clinic.

"Hi." she said quietly, dipped a cloth in a bowl of water..

"What are you doing?" he asked, approaching the bed.

"I couldn't look at how dirty she was." the girl replied, wiping your hands with the cloth. "Doc said she had a good night. He gave her antibiotics just in case. But he thinks she'll be okay."

Joel nodded. It all seemed simply unreal to him. He guessed that Ellie felt guilty. If it weren't for her reckless behavior, you wouldn't be lying unconscious now. So she did what she could. He noticed a small bouquet of the last wildflowers on the table, she had to pick them for you.

"Joel, I didn't want her to get hurt..." the girl's voice was trembling. "I was stupid, I know that. Y/N just wanted to stop me. She didn't want anything to happen to me..."

"Yeah, I know that." he replied, even though he wanted to spill everything that was on his mind at that moment to Ellie "She'll feel better soon, you'll see."

The girl nodded and rubbed her reddened eyes with her hand. 

"Go get some rest." He mumbled, approaching her and placing his hand on her shoulder. "I'll finish this for you."

She nodded again. She squeezed your hand one more time and left, leaving him alone.

Joel sat down in her place, soaked a cloth in warm water and looked at your face. You looked like you were sleeping, and in reality, you must have been. The medication Doc gave you must have been pretty strong.

"Hi." He greeted you quietly and reached for your hand.

It was a wonderful feeling to feel your warm skin in his hand. He kissed the back of it. A sense of guilt grew in his heart. He wanted to protect you from all the evil in the world so much, and now you were lying unconscious when they had barely torn you from the clutches of death.

He felt guilty for everything and what had led to this situation. When he lied to you the first time and when he had tried so clumsily to get you back when you were on edge not knowing what to do. All his actions and decisions had led to this. He was devastated, tired and didn't know what to do next.

He adored you like this and in such moments. Totally drunk on him. Your body was subservient to his pressure and touch. His cock buried deep inside you, sweet moans leaving your lips with every exhale.

Your fingers intertwined above your head, his face hidden close to your neck. You felt his breath on your skin, so hot that it almost burned you.

"I'm so close..." you moaned, feeling his every thrust clearly "Joel, please..."

"What are you asking for, love? Tell me..."

His voice was so quiet and calm. He had been fucking you for a long time, he had given himself time to play with you, like a predator with its prey. You had already come twice and your body was sensitive to his every move and touch.

"Let me... I can't take it anymore, I want to come..." you replied, feeling his lips gently sucking the skin on your neck "You're torturing me."

"Me?" he laughed quietly "Oh, honey... I guess you didn't see yourself. So beautiful, and just mine..."

"Too much whiskey, Joel!" you laughed "A little more and I'll think you've fallen in love with me!"

Your gazes met. His beautiful brown eyes stared at you as if he wanted to tell you something. But his lips refused to obey him. Or maybe you didn't want to hear it? Such things were not reasonable in QZ.

Of course, there were families in Boston, but it wasn't the same as many years ago. There was little laughter on the streets or couples walking hand in hand. Feelings were carefully hidden within the four walls of rooms. They were safe there.

So it was better not to name anything. Live day by day, enjoy what you had. You knew that you were close to him, that he wanted to protect you and take care of you. You did the same to him. It felt good, it felt safe.

His hips moved, and his cock hit exactly the place you needed. You closed your eyes and bit your lip, sighing quietly.

"Joel?"

"Yeah, baby..."

"Joel?" your voice was so quiet and calm "Joel..."

Something strange was happening. He could feel it on himself. A strange feeling like something was moving through his hair, slowly and gently. Joel opened his sleepy eyes.

"Hi."

Your voice was weak and barely audible, but it was yours. He could see your lips moving, familiar eyes looking at him with concern. It was your hand stroking his hair.

"Hi, baby." he replied, lifting his head from his arms that were lying on your bed. "I must have fallen asleep."

"I should say your snoring woke me up."

"How are you feeling?" Joel took your hand tenderly and kissed it. "I'll call Doc."

"I’m fine. How's Ellie?"

"She's okay, although she was worried about you. I had to throw her out of here because she would have been sitting here all day."

"Oh, I see." you smiled weakly. "And no one told you to leave?"

"They wouldn't have made it."

"Mhm. Joel? Thank you." You saw him frown in surprise "Thank you. I'm alive thanks to you."

"Don't say that." He shook his head "You would have survived, you're strong. The strongest person I know."

"Oh, yeah!" You laughed quietly "I would have crawled to the car and operated on myself with a pocket knife." You squeezed his hand tighter "I really thank you, Joel."

He smiled, his face brightening.

[epilogue]

☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

[littlexscarletxwitch]

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝘁, 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲

paring: yelena belova x fem!reader

tag(s): smut with plot but not really, a bit of angst but then again not really, nsfw, wlw sex

warning(s): MDNI, +18 ONLY read at your own risk, explicit wlw smut, wlw sex, oral sex, kinda toxic relationship, mentions of drinking alcohol, grammatical errors, unedited

word count: 3k

note: I'M SO SORRY GUYS IT SOOOO LOOOONG. College had been kicking my ass. Agh! I need a break from that shit. Anyways... I was actually going to make the smut part longer but I kinda didn't want to ruin it, so this is what you get lol. Also I literally googled the russian pet names, so please correct me if they are wrong. I hope you all like it! Lots of love, M <3

note 2: I got so many requests and I'm so glad you guys asked me to write your ideas, I really appreciate that. It's going to take me so time but I WILL WRITE THEM and I'm so excited about them. Love the way you guys think lol <3

requests are open! + check my rules here + masterlist <3

⇨ Detka: baby - Moya lyubov: my love - Malishka: little girl - Krasotka: gorgeous

You knew this whole thing was wrong, it was a toxic never ending cycle, but still you could never help yourself when it came to her. 

You and Yelena were together for three years, three years filled with love and lust and happiness; but then your relationship became hateful, bitter and full of anger, still the lust between the two of you remained the same.

Allegedly, the two of you had broken up 5 months ago. Allegedly, you resented her for the shit she put you through. Allegedly, you didn’t even want to see her face. 

Nevertheless, she always found her way back to you, —back to your bed—. The moment her lips made contact with yours, you knew you had lost all sense of reason. How could you restrain yourself when her hips grazed against yours in a slowly almost painful yet divine pace that had you arching your back and curling your toes?

“Fuck,” you breathed out, as her hands thighten the frim grip on your waist.

You always promised yourself it would be the last time, that it was just your body reacting to hers, that you would be strong the next time and would turn her down. It took you a couple more slips to finally understand that you and Yelena were done, that the two of you were through. But you finally came to your senses.

“You do know this is the last time, right?” you said breathless, feeling your quick heartbeat in your eardrums. 

You sword to yourself that would be the last time you let yourself give in to her. Just one more night of pleasure, just one more night of kisses and whimperings and moans, and the next day it would be over. 

“Yeah, I know,” though her voice was muffled by your cunt you could still make out the sarcastic tone in her voice. 

“I mean it, Yel,” you tried to sound serious, and apparently you did because she lifted up her head for her eyes to find yours.

“I know you do,” and she did know. She knew that you meant it, at that specific moment. 

But she also knew your statement wouldn’t last long, that you would soon change your mind and her lips would find their way back to your neck, hips, thighs and cunt. 

So she allowed you to think it was over, but it will be over once she decided so. 

[...]

It’d been a year since you had last seen her, you thought that was it, that the two of you had moved on at last. But maybe you got it all wrong, maybe all the things she made you feel enhanced by being away from her, maybe you forced yourself to forget about her. But there was no point in trying it, for she had made a mark on your heart. Like a tattoo, always under skin even when it gets removed.

But tonight was supposed to be different, you were supposed to have fun, drink and dance with your girl friends. But for some odd reason you couldn't stop thinking about the blonde. You would mess around with some people, but you found yourself thinking that it wasn’t her hands roaming around your body, or her lips leaving kisses and bites all over your neck, it wasn't her scent and it most certainly wasn’t her hoarse voice reaching your ears.

As you and your friends made your way to the bar, you heard your phone ringing. Even before you took a look at the screen you were 100% sure that it was her calling you, who else could it be then? 

Your heart picked up its pace as you looked at the ID caller and your suspicions were confirmed. It was at that moment that you realised that you had never blocked or deleted her contact number. 

Before you could answer or decline the call, it stopped. You swallowed down the lump that hard formed on your throat, unsure of what would be next. And soon after it stopped you got a text from her, you were about to read it when you noticed that someone was calling out for you. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” you said, quickly putting away your phone, trying to focus on your friend’s words over the loud music.

“We have to use the restroom. Let’s go,” she said, reaching out for your hand, motioning for you to tag along. 

“No,” you step back, away from her reach. “I, um,” you felt your phone burning your hand. “I’m going to get some air, okay?” you noticed she wanted to say something against it, so you quickly added: “I’ll be right back, I promise,” you smiled at them, before making your way out of the club before they would follow after you. 

Once the cold air of the night filled your lungs you felt like you could finally breathe properly. You looked at her missed call and her text message on your phone screen, it was simple: an address. You knew what that meant, but you weren’t sure of what you should do. As if sensing your doubt, she called you again. The phone kept on ringing in your hand, as you made up your mind.

Seeing her tonight was a bad idea, right? Yes, you might not be really drunk but the alcohol was messing with your brain and you were not thinking straight. Plus, your friends were going to kill you for meeting her.

Seeing her tonight was a bad idea, right? You weren’t just going to throw away the last year and pretend like nothing had happened.

Seeing her would be a bad idea, right? But your mind had other plans as the memories of her soft lips and her rough hands and her raspy voice all came rushing to your brain, and suddenly it was all you could think of.

Seeing her tonight…? Fuck it, it’s fine, was your only thought as you picked up the call. 

“Hello, detka.”

The old pet name sent a silver up your spine, still you were yet to form a coherent thought. 

“I missed you,” she paused, waiting for you to say something. “Did you miss me?” she tried again. Still, you weren’t answering her, but she knew you were listening carefully to every word. “You know? I’m all alone right now. I wouldn’t mind some company.”

You could sense the undertone she was using, you were no fool to her tactics, even though you would always fall for them. That was the kind of power Yelena had over you, everytime you would do so much as think about her your brain would just shut down and you wouldn’t be able to hear your own thoughts. 

“No,” you stated firmly. Shaking your head even though she could not see you. 

“Oh, baby. What’s the matter? You want me to pick you up?” you could hear the jiggling of some set of keys. Your heart stopped for a second, was she really that desperate to come and pick you up? You felt your stomach burning. 

“This is… This is not right, Yelena. I shouldn't have picked up the call. I should probably not—.”

“Oh, come on, moya lyubov,” again with the russian nickname that would make your knees weak. “How about this, I pick you up, we get some coffee and we just have a quick chitchat?”

You knew that it never was so simple with Yelena, but you felt your walls crashing down. 

“I’m not sure, Yel…” it felt weird to pronounce that nickname after so long. 

“Look up, pretty girl.”

You felt your stomach sink as you did as you were told. And there she was, in all her glory. You didn’t even question how she knew exactly where you were, Yelena just knew stuff. You knew she was your ex, but she said it was just a quick chat, can’t two people reconnect? You knew you were stronger now to her advances, you were pretty sure you only saw her as a friend. But, in all honesty, you knew you were full of shit. 

Without a word, you sent a text to your friends, put your phone in your purse and got into the car, wrecking all your plans. You knew you should just stop, but you couldn't. You cursed yourself for that, she knew you too well and you hated both yourself and Yelena for that.

As soon as you took the passengers sit, Yelena sped up the car and the two of you left the building and your friends behind. 

“I did miss you, Y/n,” was the first thing she said as she rested her hand on your thigh. 

She knew how much you loved it when she did that.

“Mmm,” you muttered, unsure of what your answer should be. 

“Didn’t you miss me?” she jokingly asked as she gently squeezed your skin. 

“What do you want, Yel?” 

“I thought I told you,” she quickly took a look at you before looking back at the road. “I just want to chat, that’s all.”

“It’s never that simple with you.”

“Well, maybe this time it is. Maybe this time I want things to be different,” she smiled at you, making your heart skip a beat. She still had that kind of power over you and you hated her even more for that. But not really.

You gently shook your head. It was bad, you shouldn’t have picked up the call, you shouldn't have gotten into the car. You should have thought things more clearly before letting her into your life again. 

As you were mentally cursing yourself you didn’t realise that the two of you had already made it to whatever place she had driven the two of you. Realisation hit you as you now had now idea where the fuck you were, you had no other choice but to follow her. Or so you told yourself. 

Yelena opened the car door for you and stretched her hand out for you to take. Which you did, you didn’t even fight it, you longed for the contact of her skin against yours. And maybe, just maybe, you thought it would be enough, just by intertwining your fingers in between hers. But, god, you were wrong. 

You knew the moment you would step through her front door all sense of reason would leave your mind, and it would only remain the lust and feel of belonging you always felt around her. And you were right, the soon you stepped in, it was like you were that same person a year ago and you had no intention in fighting your feelings, not anymore. You thought maybe you deserve it, as a reward for being all this time apart from each other.

As soon as you entered it was as if you could feel Yelena everywhere. It wasn’t just the fact that she was there next to you with her hand in between yours, but you could all also smell her scent all over her place, you could see her in the furniture she had chosen, hear her in the music that was playing, and even though you had yet to taste her lips you were so overwhelmed by her entire being that it felt as if you already had. 

“So, um,” she cleared her throat as she closed the door behind the two of you, getting your attention. “Would you like some coffee…?”

“Fuck it, it’s fine,” you mumbled to yourself once more before dropping your purse and shortening the distance and crashing your lips against hers. 

Yelena’s hand quickly found their way to your hips, gently squeezing your flesh earning a low groan out of you. She pulled away gasping for air but the next second her lips were back on yours. You moaned into her lips as her tongue easily slipped into your mouth and found yours to mess around with. 

You felt a warm feeling in your stomach as her hands roamed all over your body leaving goosebumps on their way. Then they rested on your ass, grabbing the muscle motioning for you to jump on top of her, which you did without a second thought. The feeling became a small fire in your stomach the moment your chest was pressed against hers. 

“I knew you would come back,” she mumbled in between your lips, feeling her grin into the kiss. 

As a response you bit her bottom lip, not really sure what you meant by that but it felt good when you heard a low moan escape from her lips. 

“Don’t push your luck,” you said once you let go of it, earning a small chuckle from her. 

“Yeah, you’re right, krasotka,” her thick russian was only fuel to the growing fire in your stomach. 

Her lips found the crook of your neck and she left as many bites and kisses as she pleased, leading the two of you to her bedroom. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your fingers found their way in between her hair. 

Once in her bedroom, Yelena gently laid you on her bed. As her lips made their way down to your collarbone, her hand tugged at the hem of your dress slowly and painfully bringing it up to your waist. 

On command, you spread your leg open letting Yelena’s head take the place in between your thighs. She kissed and bit them, her lips ghosted over the area where you needed her the most, but all you got was her hot breath which sent a shiver up your spine and made you groan out her name. 

“Stop with the teasing,” you begged her, as your legs rested on her shoulders. 

“Tell me what you need,” she breathed out. 

“I need you… I need your lips on me,” it almost came out as a moan. 

And she did as she was told, but it wasn’t quite what you wanted. Her lips kissed and licked your core, but it wasn’t enough since the area was still being covered by your panties. You wanted more, needed more. 

“Yelena, please…” you begged her once again. 

“Shh…” she cooed as her fingers tugged at the hem of your underwear and slowly pushed it out of the way. “Is this where you need my lips, malishka,” her hot breath over your now uncovered cunt ripped a moan out of your mouth. 

“Yes, yes, just please do something. Please, Yel, I—,” a whimper cut you off as you felt her tongue licked up your slit. “Fuck,” you could feel your heartbeat going a mile per hour. 

Her tongue went up and down a few times, tasting your juices, loving who wet you were for her. She then made sure to give your clit as much attention, so she wrapped her lips around it and sucked hard. You felt your leg trembling on her shoulders as she worked her magic on you. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you were a moaning mess, the fire in your stomach felt like it was taking over your entire body and you only wanted to give in, to let it consume you whole —to let Yelena consume you whole—.

You wrapped your legs around her head, bringing her even closer to you. The thought of her suffocating on your count scared you for half a second, but then as she ate you like a starving woman, the thought only added more to your arousal. 

Yelena took a quick look at you: eyes closed, lips slightly trembling and parted, brows furrowed, your leg around her head, your hand flying to meet her hair. She wanted that moment to last forever, she wanted to be forever buried in between your legs if it only meant she could see you like this. But she could not stop time and live forever in that moment, so she could only moan at your sight. And that was what it took for you to finally come undone in her lips.

You cried out her name as your leg almost squeezed her head too harshly, but she could take it. A few curses followed her name as her tongue and lips helped you right out your high. 

“I missed this, malishka,” she said breathlessly as you unwrapped your legs around her. 

Her nose, lips and chin were glistening from your release, you felt something like a match lighting up inside you once again. Much to your dismay she used the back of her hand to clean some of it, which she noticed that it had bothered you since you slightly frown. She chuckled at just how cute and precious you were. 

She crawled on top of you, placing her knee in between your legs and her lips found yours. You moaned as you tasted yourself on her lips and tongue, feeling the fire coming back to life. 

“I missed you… so much,” she said in between kisses. “Tell me… you missed me too…”

Drunk on her scent, lips and words you couldn’t think properly. But still the words you blurted out were the truth: “I did… I missed you too…”

“Then we should… make up for… the time we lost…'' she said as her hand expertly tugged down the cleavage of your dress, she smiled to herself as she realised you weren’t wearing a bra.

She trailed a path of kiss from your neck, down to your collarbone to finally end with her lips sucking your right nipple. 

“Yeah, we should…” you breathed out. 

“Then, we are going to be here for a while,” she said, her words were muffled by your tit inside her mouth. 

You giggled at her words but then it turned into a moan as she went on sucking. 

You knew the whole thing would fire back eventually, but your head was empty, blank, no reasonable thoughts. Just one that it keep you going and that was the only thought you were willing to listen to: ‘Fuck it, it’s fine.’

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

-M

[itonashi]

May I request Chigiri Hyoma x reader, but the bllk boys and Chigiri are hanging outside of blue lock and the reader hugs Chigiri from behind while he's talking to someone; suprising chigiri of his s/o's sudden appearance? I LITERALLY CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF THIS MAN 🥰💍💍🙏

BOO!

pairing: chigiri hyoma x fem!reader

warning: mentioned other chars, fluff, lowercase intended, manga spoilers

note: pls pls pls appear in the tag... im gonna cry if it doesn't appear. i hate mobile legends. memang tolol kau tahu tak (nonsense in malay). i love the anon who req me this.

it's time!

for your divine, beautiful, majestic, heavenly, breath-taking, lovely, charming, marvelous, splendid, distinguished, monumental, glorious, astonishing, and pretty boyfriend to get out of his hell hole!!!

the blue lock program.

because of that stupid program you didn't get to even chat him or see him for months! now he's a celebrity after that soccer match that you didn't even managed to get a ticket for.

you want to see him so much instead of chatting with him on some apps. you hated how chigiri hyoma is now known to the world and some ppl liked him because of his beauty. that beauty should've been only for you.

fortunately, he is yours and you are his.

but he said that he only have two weeks break so that means the program is still not finish yet and that made you filled with the 5 stages of grief because that technically means that you won't be seeing him for months again! and who knows? he will also be offered with professional clubs out there.

you're glad that he didn't give up on soccer anymore and how he is really happy now.

with these two weeks break, you will make the most time to hang out with your boyfriend and make the most of it.

oh? is that your lovely boyfriend there? and if you're not mistaken — the people that he's talking to is the blue lock people.

'i want to surprise him. i mean.. his reactions will be so cute! after all, we haven't seen eachother for a long time.'

"i think i will have a chances with many pretty girls this year."

"shut up, otoya."

"being known to the world feels nice."

"i wonder if i have a fanbase..."

"isagi! look at the comments about you."

"people really like nagi, huh."

"why are they so shocked that reo is playing soccer..."

the atmosphere was lively as everyone was talking about different things. some were talking about their popularity, soccer, the u-20 match, school and friends.

what was irritating me is that aryu keep asking me about what i use for my hair. yeah yeah, i know my hair is silky but only some people can touch it. if i don't want him to bother me with his 'glam' things. i just need to straight up tell him about the haircare i use.

"oh really? that's the one you use... hmm, what a shame. it doesn't fit my glam hair."

"ok, aryu..."

just stop talking to me about that, it's boring! damn it. "chigiri! look at people commenting about your beauty!" bachira showed me the multiple comments about my beauty and how they wish they know me earlier... blah blah blah. "haha, it's amazing how chigiri got people to like because of his beauty." isagi said.

"i bet his fanbase is full of girls."

is it? i don't really remember...

"i don't think so?"

"yeah, right.

i couldn't careless about the fanbase anyway. i already have my special someone who never gave up on me. the one who was always there with me through thick and thin. she never left me when i was injured. it was a shame she didn't managed to see the match in front of her eyes.

if she was there, i would've hug her tight even if there was my mother and sister there...

it's been a long time since i see her.

i was conversing with nagi and telling him some information about soccer. when suddenly i felt a hand wrapped around my waist from behind and a beaming girl's voice was heard.

"boo!"

'eh?'

everyone stop talking and look at the uninvited guest that just arrived. 'wooo' and 'oohh' could be heard from them. nagi look at the person who interrupt chigiri from talking and the person unwrapped their hands from chigiri's waist.

"[name]!?"

"oh, you're surprised to see me." you chuckle at the sight of him.

you wave at all the people there and they wave back with welcome but they're definitely questioning who you are from the sudden appearance. otoya did the honor of asking not before asking if you're single.

"im taken by the oh so lovely princess chigiri hyoma."

"oh."

"oi, don't call me that."

well, at least no one's here is beautiful like your boyfriend! this goes unnoticed by you but when otoya asked you that question. he almost tried to gouge out otoya's eyes. you didn't notice yukimiya was there until he spoke up.

"[name], you are dating chigiri?"

"ah, since when are you here... yuki?"

"you two knew each other?"

"he's my co-worker in the model agency but don't worry i never work with him, hyoma."

chigiri let out a sigh of relief at that statement. sure, yukimiya was handsome. and he love how you are loyal to him in the end. they time passed with you being introduced to the boys and come of them praised you for being a beauty and question you is it hard being a model and all that.

you get to know some of them better and it did help with yukimiya being there.

"i think it's time we should go back home." isagi said. the time was almost 5:00 p.m and they all agreed to it — saying goodbyes to one another, you set out walking back home with chigiri.

"you really surprised me back there."

"your reaction was worth it. hehe."

typical [name]. a little prankster ever since middle school. "here, do you want my hand?" chigiri offered you his hand for you to wrapped your hands around it and you did just that. you lean your head on his shoulders while walking to the train station. talking along the way about the day and your opinion on the boys.

"you did great on the match, hyoma. you don't have to think about it that much when you were out half time. i have been watching you that whole match even if i wasn't there. you're my favorite player out there."

it was out of the blue when you said that but it was comforting to him. you are his biggest supporter and he will never let go of that fact. the things you said to comfort him. you always know what his feelings are at the moment.

"thank you, [name]."

you chuckle at his flustered voice.

"that's my duty as your biggest supporter."

you two arrived at the train station and wait for your train to come and board it. it is fortunately empty. you love some quiet times with chigiri on the train.

you lean your head on chigiri's shoulder and close your eyes while holding his hand on the train and hum a melody. "[name], what do you think of me?" he said with a slight nervous. hoping at what you said about him is all positive.

"if im being brutally honest... after you were injured, you care too much about what those people said about your injuries. especially those wanima twins. i hate them. you have me on your back — i will defend you from those types of people but im happy that you're not giving up on soccer. you are a hardworking guy. you are slightly moody though..."

"that's too honest."

"i did said i was brutally honest."

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

03/04/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast&Crew;WJW; Con O'Neill; David Jenkins; Bumbles; Rhys Darby; A LeagueOfTheirOwn Watch Party; Wrecked WP Continues; NewarkNewark WP tomorrow; Fundraiser Statuses; SchadenFreude; Fan Spotlight; Podcasts; LoveNotes; DailyDarby/Tonight's Taika

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

== Wee John Wonday ==

Today's Wee John Wonday featured our Pirate Queen Ruibo Qian! Please check the video out on Kristian's Instagram! Don't have time to watch? There are some highlights below the pic!

Some Highlights:

Anapela couldn't make it tonight sorry!

Ruibo is really into perfume like Kristian

Ruibo and Anapela really clicked on set!

Ruibo still has hope regarding s3!

“DO I wanna smell like a haystack with a cow dung hidden inside of it?” - Ruibo

Ruibo would be interested in polycule, Zheng may not be

Kristian has an announcement coming out tomorrow - 📚

Apparently the last episode, when they were all walking out in the colonial outfits, it was SUPER LONG and a lot of it was cut.

Qian means money = so Ruibo is literally the Money Bitch

== Con O'Neil ==

One of our wonderful crew-mates was out and about and ran into none other than THE Con O'Neill! Thank you so much for sharing this meet up with us @queerjolras!

Con also posted a picture of himself and his pup Cooper on IG today!

== David Jenkins ==

Our friend @cosmosart-s posted a lovely picture of David for the 2 year anniversary OFMD anniversary and David ran it on his IG Story! One thing I've noticed a few people mentioning was the "3" hearts. Not to clown/honk too hard, but just something to think about <3

== Rare Bumbles Sighting ==

Many of you know of Rhys and Rosie's cat Bumbles, but we don't get to see Bumbles too often! Rosie uploaded an adorable photo of one of the Darby Feline-Fam.

== Rhys Darby ==

Are you in Aotearoa? Stop in to seen see Rhys on Wed 3 Apr 2024, 8:00pm–10:00pm at the Wild Estate in Auckland!

New Cryptid Factor Episode!

89: #089 The 2nd First Issue!

Spotify / Podfriend / Apple Podcasts

== New Watch Parties ==

= Mar 3 - Mar 7 A League Of Their Own =

Join us this week starting Monday, March 4th for a multi-fandom watch party! Each day will have different games and polls! (Sorry this is a bit late, I didn't get it until today!)

Where: Amazon Prime

Time: Every day 1 PM EST / 10AM PT! 

Day One, March 4th: Pilot episodes for both series with tweeting predictions for the rest of the seasons. 

Day Two, March 5th: Bingos! Live tweet your reaction and share your filled out bingo cards! 

Day Three, March 6th: Polls! Live tweet your reactions and share your thoughts on the shows so far! 

Day Four, March 7th: Caption the screencaps from the shows: Wrong answers only! 

Day Five, March 8th: Finale time! Share your predictions for the next seasons with the hashtags. 

Watch Party Hashtags:

OurFlagMeansBaseball, 

SaveOFMD 

SaveALOTO to join the event! 

== Watch Party Reminders! ==

Mar 4 - Mar 8: Wrecked Season 1

Wrecked is no longer on any streaming platform, and it is not available digitally on US sites. (Apparently, it is available on German Amazon?) There are sources being passed around. If access is an issue, DM @iamadequate1 on Twitter or Tumblr

Season 1 watch from March 4th to March 8th. 

Season 2 watch from March 11th to March 15th. 

Season 3 watch from March 18th to March 22nd. 

Times will be 10pm GMT / 5pm EST / 4pm CST / 2pm PST. Watch two episodes per day. Episodes are 21-22 minutes each. Use the following Saturday for the tags/watch if interested but not able to make this time.

Hashtags: 

#WreckedPirates

#SaveOFMD

#RhysDarbyFaction

= Mar 5: NewarkNewark with @adoptourcrew =

Please join @adoptourcrew for a @NewarkNewark watch party on March 5th at 10 pm GMT/ 2pm PS / 5pm EST!

== Fundraiser Statuses ==

= Underground Ads =

The Final Stage of the Save OFMD Crew fundraisor for the underground ads is still going! If you're so inclined, feel free to donate or share around! Ko-Fi Link

= In Soup Now =

Wow! Only 24 hours open, and already at 10%! Great job all!

== Schaden Freude ==

Thanks @iamadequate1 for catching the very sad times WBD Inc is experiencing on the NASDAQ

== How to Help ==

Another Ranker Poll! Feel free to hop in and bump OFMD up. You can rank shows up AND down so make sure to rank other shows as well. Ranker Link

== Fan Spotlight ==

Our lovely crew-mate @melvisik is back again, this time with our favorite Captain Rhys Darby as part of the Crew Cards <3

== Podcasts ==

@fandomthingpod on Twitter did an episode on the OFMD Renewal campaign and interviewed our esteemed crew-mate @lcwebsxoxo! They gave lots of kudos to the @saveofmdcrewmates and @adoptourcrew and the recaps got a shout out too! (Ty for the mention LC!) The Campaign To Save OurFlagMeansDeath

== Love Notes ==

Hello lovelies :) It was an action packed day for sure (as Mondays usually are). That being said I took some time to do some stuff today I've been meaning to, so I apologize for not taking more time on love notes!

Please know me and your crew-mates are thinking of you and hoping for all the best things for you in the upcoming days.

I know it's short but here are some reminders / love notes in other people's words for today/tomorrow. <3

Stay Strong Lovelies! Whatever you're up to, you're gonna make it through, I believe in you!

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Yeahhhhh no gifs tonight luvs, I am running late and I can't stop looking at these still pictures anyway, so here you are <3

Taika Src / Rhys courtesy of Prim on Discord!

[justanothersyscourse]

I think this blog is blocked by fewer people that have heard the rumors and lies going around. I hope you'll read this. There are three sides to every story-- yours, theirs, and the truth.

I deserve to get my side out there so people can make informed decisions about who to follow or block, or whatever it is you need to do. It's okay not to support me, but do it for the right reasons.

I also run sysmedsaresexist, and I'm currently being accused of harassing a minor and sending random ass asks left, right and center.

Listen, if you got an ask where the person didn't say, "this is SAS," it's not from me. I HATE asks. On the rare occasion that I send them, I always tell people who I am. I am well aware that I'm a controversial figure. I want people to know who they're interacting with when I talk to them. I am old. It's important that I'm honest with the people I interact with. A lot of people really stepped up to support me, but I would like people to stop. Unfortunately, it's doing more harm than good.

With every one of these messages people send in support of me, the rumors get worse.

I want to defend myself, but I don't know how.

Send a vent to a vent blog that just actively lied about me? They won't post it. (They didn't, I just checked)

So I'll post it myself. You can make your own decision. All posts I've made on the topic are linked here (it's 5, compared to the DOZENS AEV has posted)

This will be my last post on the topic, and I hope that the people spreading these rumors will leave me alone. You've done more damage and harm to me than you know, and without any remorse or apology.

Ask sent to @anti-endo-haven :

I'm SAS and I'm so hurt.

I have not sent ANY anons to AEV, at all, at any point. I have not ASKED anyone to help me in this,

I made 5 posts. They have made about 50 at this point, all cruel.

The first was to AEV on their first post, which was NOT as rude as people say. I said, look webmd and mayo clinic isn't going to hold up to some of the articles that endos are throwing at us. Try some of these. I said, look, you're going to get really tired of hearing the same endo arguments. Here's some points you can throw back at them.

NOT TO MENTION THE MISINFORMATION IN THE POST. Dissociation is only trauma based? Incorrect. Maybe you should reconsider whether you're ready to be in these conversations.

That response was hidden.

The second post, I was correcting an endo that DID wasn't a trauma disorder. I tagged AEV and said, "see, you can be nice about corrections, and these are the kind of sources you should use."

I was blocked.

THIS IS WHEN I CHANGED LABELS. I was so disappointed in the community that I said fuck that, that's not what I want to be, I don't support this behavior. That's another person that AEV turned pro endo. Good job.

Then I saw the anon saying I was an endo. I used my other blog to POLITELY say, "This isn't true, please stop posting about me like this." This post is still on JAS, I didn't delete it like people are claiming

The fourth post was me making my own public post saying, "this child is throwing a tantrum over corrections. Now l'm pissed and I have to make my own public post so people don't believe those lies." This was the first rude post. I called AEV a blemish, and here's why.

I just made a MASSIVE post about dissociation that is actively being spread within the endo community now. All because I changed my label. I don't care if you all want to block me, but don't pretend that you're all doing anything to help by making bad resources for an audience that already believes the same stuff (all these new antis). Now all the new ones are spreading the same bad sources that don't hold up, and we all (yes, you, me, them, the next CDD system in line) look bad for it.

AEV couldn't provide a single source that said DID WAS trauma based, only "usually" trauma based. AEV actually made antis TURN PRO ENDO, because they used so many sources that said "usually". I offered him sources that said it WAS trauma based.

I'm not kidding, you can find the people that changed sides on sophieinwonderland's blog. This is what happened. I don't need to be polite as pie to people inadvertently harming the CDD community, but I certainly wasn't rude about it

My final post, the fifth post, on the subject was the sad one. "My main was leaked." There are people that stalk my blogs. They send me threats and long asks about the things they'd do to me if they found me. When sophie first came to tumblr, I'd get asks about what people wanted ghost to do to me. In the past, every time a new doxxer comes out of their gross hole, I start getting doxxing threats. l've had people get close to my area.

My main being released means those people are one step closer to actually finding me. It means I'm now getting these kinds of messages in my only safe space.

And the anon who sent my main admitted it was done maliciously. We had a falling out like two years ago, because their asks were getting creepy. When I APOLOGIZED TO THEM for ever hurting them because of my own avoidance issues, and told them that on this post, their response was, "well I enjoyed sending them so fuck you." If I ever find that post deleted, I've got a screenshot. You were NOT a minor at the time, you're an adult.

... Nice, really mature. You're definitely safe for minors.

Hey, also, minors, if an adult you just met online calls you "my kiddo", don't respond with an ovo face. Run.

Adults, if you call a minor your kiddo and they're like, owo really, I'm your kiddo? Fucking run.

Anyways.

I haven't said anything since. What can say. My main is out and I'm getting threats on it. Currently. Not "in the future," like the person said. It's happening NOW.

What do all you people want from me? I AM trying to leave you all alone. Stop saying such terrible things about me, godDAMN. I am not harassing minors. I don't want to harass anyone.

WHAT DID I ACTUALLY DO WRONG? I don't understand.

You're not the good guys you think you all are.

Not anymore.

I don't know that you ever were.

[dyns33]

Down the Pit - Part 2

I think I'll make like 5 or 6 part for this story. While writing other Bane's stories, because I love the man.

Tag : @jaxitaxibolehlaf (I remembered, I hope you'll like it)

It had been almost five years since Y/N had left the Pit.

The world had continued to turn, she had found a new job, a bigger apartment, but nothing made sense anymore.

Out of curiosity, Y/N had done some research on Ra's al ghul, but it had yielded nothing. No information either on the infernal prison of India, on Talia or Bane.

She held out hope that just typing these names into Google or whispering them in the street would one day bring them up, since the ninja leader had found her that way the first time.

It was also possible, even certain, that he had never lost sight of her since. Y/N didn’t feel like she was being monitored, but they were probably very good at it. It wouldn't make any difference if she indicated that she wanted them to show themselves, they would stay hidden.

Maybe if they made a lot of noise, they would have moved. By going to an independent journalist to tell them her whole story, with the certainty that he would publish even if she had no proof to offer.

But they would find a way to make it all disappear. They would kill the journalist, and maybe they would kill her too.

So Y/N waited, without really waiting, remaining alone with her memories and her nightmares.

However, she didn't think about all that at all when someone knocked on her door and she went to open it without looking at who it was.

The girl was brunette, her hair tied in a messy ponytail. Her large almost black eyes stared at her while her face remained impassive. The clothes she wore were slightly too big, as if she didn't know how to dress or had grabbed what she could. She couldn't have been more than thirteen or fourteen.

It's been almost five years. But it only took a moment, a brief moment, for Y/N to forget how to breathe, taking the girl into her arms.

“Talia !” she cried, hugging her tightly. "Talia, I'm so happy to see you. I missed you so much !"

"… I missed you too." the little girl whispered, shyly returning her embrace.

Obviously, her father didn't hold her often. The master of the League of Shadows, as Talia told her it was called, preferred to train her so that she would be ready to take his place when the time came.

It wasn't really the life Y/N would have wanted for the little girl she had practically raised in the Pit. It had nothing to do with the bedtime stories she told her.

While eating chocolate for the first time, Talia told her about what she was learning from her instructor, a man named Barsad. The girl didn't like him too much, because he was too strict and he had vulture eyes according to her.

In addition to basic lessons like writing, math, and geography, Talia learned to fight, kill, manipulate weak minds, lead troops of soldiers, and many other things a child of her age shouldn't have to learn.

Locked in a temple in the Himalayas, she had only seen the things Y/N had told her about in pictures. Except the snow. There was a lot of snow, an intense cold, absolutely not alleviated by the people around her.

That was why Talia had decided to look for Y/N as soon as she had the chance. Her father had told her that she had abandoned her, leaving her in his care while begging to be sent home, and with the promise that she would never hear from the child again.

"I believed him… I was young and stupid. I hated you for a long time, and then I realized that he must have been lying, because you would never have done that ! You wouldn't have left me. When Barsad told me I was going on my first overseas mission, I knew it was time."

Thanks to everything he had taught her, it was easy to escape the surveillance of Barsad and his men. After finding a disguise, Talia had managed to get to Gotham without attracting attention, until she found Y/N's apartment.

It might have been difficult, but with her training, stalking someone was perfectly natural.

In addition to the need to see Y/N again, Talia also wanted to see the world she had dreamed of so much when she was in the Pit.

The plane had scared her a little, she wasn't sure she liked the city with all the noises, the smells, the lights, but seeing so many people was fascinating for her.

The feeling of new freedom was exhilarating. She could go wherever she wanted, whenever she wanted, talk to whoever she wanted, eat whatever she wanted… And Talia wanted it all.

"I want to watch TV ! I want to dance ! I want to go to the beach !" the little princess of shadows almost ordered, jumping around in circles in the living room. “Now, now, now !”

"Calm down, Talia. You should probably call your father, he'll be worried."

"I don't care ! He lied to me. I want to try pizza."

"And… What about Bane ? Have you heard from Bane ?" Y/N asked with a bit of fear.

Talia stopped jumping, staring at her with a serious look. For a moment, Y/N trembled, thinking that she was going to tell her that he was dead, or that Ra's al ghul had refused to go get him.

"Bane… is fine. I'll call him."

There were many things her father had denied her, but going to save the man who had kept her safe since birth didn't seem possible.

Since he was strong and intelligent, as well as being completely devoted to Talia, it was decided that he could be useful, and he was allowed to join the League of Shadows. He quickly became an important member, earning the title of lieutenant.

Talia didn't see him often, at least not as often as she would have liked. As if he didn't want them to be together, her father sent Bane on missions outside the temple very regularly, and when he didn't have to report, he trained the new recruits.

Obedient, because he owed him his life and respect, the giant still found time to come and see Talia training. He asked Barsad, whom he treated like a brother, to give him news and watch over her in his absence.

Shyly, the girl admitted that he hadn't spoken about Y/N once since he was taken out of the Pit. No questions, no worries. Perhaps he also believed that she had abandoned them, or perhaps he had understood that their leader did not want her to be part of their lives.

The call was quick, calm. Talia gave the address where she was, firmly requesting that Bane and no one else come pick her up. No doubt she wanted to offer them a moment alone, all three of them, like before.

The tension was almost palpable when three knocks were given on the door. As Y/N took a deep breath, she was held back by the girl, who stared at her with great seriousness, but also what looked like fear.

“Promise me you’ll always love him.”

"… What ?"

"You love Bane. Nothing has changed."

"Of course. Why are you so worried ? Do you think… Do you think he doesn't want to be here ?"

"He'll be the happiest of all. Promise me."

Y/N promised her. She understood better the reasons for this insistence when she opened the door.

Taller than she remembered, Bane stood still until she invited him inside. Like his pupil, his eyes showed nothing, the only part of his face visible between a hat and a huge scarf.

It wasn't exactly cold outside, but since he was coming from a snowy mountain, Y/N figured he didn't have time to check the temperature of Gotham.

As he greeted Talia, he seemed to hesitate. It was not polite to keep his face hidden like that. With a gesture of her head, the young girl gave him a silent order. Then the presence of the scarf was clear.

The mask was strange. Impossible to say if it was so complicated and imposing for technical reasons, or also in order to scare.

For a moment, Y/N was afraid. But not because of Bane. More for him, wondering why he had that horrible mask, what had happened to him, but not knowing if she had the right to ask such a thing.

When he first spoke, his voice was weird, distorted. The pronunciation was also not normal. Sparing her any torture, between asking and staying in the dark.

"The other prisoners didn't accept that I help you escape. With everyone against me, I didn't have the slightest chance. But the doctor finished the job, trying to treat me."

“You… Are you in pain ?”

"No."

She wanted to know more, but Y/N decided now wasn’t the time. She would see later if he could remove it or if it might kill him. It didn't matter anyway, as she had promised Talia.

Instead, she held him in her arms, as she had held the child, letting her tears fall. This seemed to scare the giant, but he stood still, letting her do so.

"I missed you both so much. I'm so happy you're here."

"… Habibi." he whispered, his head leaning slightly to rest against hers.

The separaton was not easy.

Talia did not want to leave, while fully understanding that her father would not accept her staying. There would be consequences. Bane knew it too, and he was more adult, even if Y/N sometimes felt his hand brushing against hers, hesitant to take it.

No doubt he wouldn't have had the will to let go of her if he had given in.

Before agreeing to return to the temple, the young girl called her father, to present an absolutely insincere apology, promising to focus on her training, if in exchange she had the right to stay in contact with Y/N.

Ra's agreed, reluctantly. He knew nothing could stop his child anyway.

"We'll be back soon. I'll call you every day."

"You promise ?"

"Yes !" Talia said solemnly with bright eyes.

"The master agreed for you to come back. He didn't say anything about me."

"You are my protector. You will have to come with me, that's logical."

Translation, her father would have no choice. He had managed to separate them once, he wouldn't have that chance again. And since he was clever, he saw that the compromise was fair.

His daughter would continue to follow her destiny, as the future leader of the League of Shadows, not sticking to Bane when she was with her followers, but she would have the small freedom to see him and be with Y/N when she went in Gotham, from time to time.

All that remained was to define this time.

But since Y/N had waited five years, she was willing to wait a few more months, knowing now that they were fine, and that she could call them if she missed them too much.

[moldybonessmell]

// TUA season 4 SPOILERS

This season was absolutely horrendous, not gonna lie.

My scientific diagram regarding something that used to be my favorite show:

There's absolutely nothing I like about new season.

Now, more specifically, things I hate:

Klaus being traumatized for no reason and having no character development for 2 seasons straight (see rant).

Ben preaching eternal love and hooking up with a girl he met like a day ago while people around puke venom cum😃.

Right away, adding the "comedic gore" which is a sin for so many recent shows and TUA went the same annoying and overplayed route. Bloody scenes were cool when it was Five killing people with an iconic background music and stuff, but not the gore for the gore's sake.

By the way, music game is so weak this season, they literally took out the best part of the show that has become its trademark, what are creators doing???

Storyline with Diego thinking Lila is cheating and them being drowned in family life would have worked if it was in a different show, but it's TUA and it's boring as hell, sorry. (Maybe dont get like 3 kids if it's so difficult??? idk man)

Luther is stripper? Seriously? Completely unprovoked. Made for comedic sake once again, and I don't respect that. They didn't know what to do with his character and made him into comic relief, how unexpected /sarcasm.

Tension between Lila and Five, really? You took the best platonic dinamic, them actually being sibling-coded, and made it into romance? I have zero respect left. I do not care it was 6 years for them, I truly don't give a fuck. I cringed so hard. I just wanted to turn it off completely. Episode 5 is VILE, especially RIGHT AFTER Diego recognising family is more important than work. These scenes being one after other is diabolical. Also, Five hiding "the way home" for 5 months?? OOC as hell, if you ask me. You know what even more OOC and dumb? Five fighting Diego over Lila when The Cleanse is the bigger problem at the moment. (How did Five even end up on the floor, he's like the best killer in timeline??)

" - Why did I wait to take the shot.. - Maybe because you're a good man after all." No the fuck he's not. Reginald Hargreaves is not a good man. In neither timelines. The way the show tries to make him a gray character and make us like him is cringe as hell, just stop.

When I found out last season is only 6 episodes long I was upset, but at the time I finished episode 4 I just couldn't wait till the season is over.

(I had to finish it tho, for a slight possibility it's gonna get better and my rant posts to be relevant you know).

Honestly, I'm just glad it's over. The less seasons the less possibilities for the show to get even worse.

"I think we're alone now" as a closing song was a good choice tho.

Edit: I haven't checked the tags before posting and can't believe like 20 people have already used the horse meme before me guess we all thought the same bruh

[eddiesguitarskills]

When We Were Young

Older Ex Eddie Munson x Reader

Other parts 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Intro : 5 years have past since you packed up and left behind Hawkins. Well not all of it, as the people you met there are still a huge part of your life. But it’s been 5 years since you had set a foot in the small town, 5 years since you left him. And now after all that time you were back.

Warning: angst, language, mentions of suicide, miscarriages, self harm, mental health. Arguments. Mentions of break ups. Female identity reader.

Bold parts are flashbacks

Word count: 4.5k

A/n: please only read if you are in a good place, I wouldn’t want this story to trigger or hurt anyone. Let me know if you wanna be tagged in the next part

Not prove read.

The phone rang and rang, the sound being drowned out by the tantrum of a toddler who didn’t want to go to bed. Her father couldn’t hear the phone as all he could focus on was trying not to shout at the little girl despite how frustrated he was. However, the phone kept ringing. Nancy was the first to notice the vibration of the item in the living room, “st-“, she looked over to her husband who was snuggling to get the PJs on their daughter. She chuckled at the little girl’s determination, Steve often said she got her stubbornness from Nancy. She walked into the living room and picked up the phone. “Hello Harrington residents-“ she was cut off “very formal paps”. Nancy smiled knowing exactly who this was, even without the nickname she would know who it was. Who else with a British accent would be calling their house?

“Y/n! We’ve missed you, you haven’t called in a couple of days, how are you?” You chuckle at the end of the line, “do you miss me that much?”. Truth be told it was weird for the Harrington household not to hear from you. Your daily calls were part of the family routine. Nancy knew that’s why her daughter’s temper had been so bad at the moment, she missed her aunt. “Well I wouldn’t say loads but..” Nancy joked, but then her thoughts started to consume her “Are you okay? Seriously though? nothing has happened?”.

You turned the faucet to pour the bath, tears only helping to fill it more -

It was hard not to think about it any time it was mentioned, no matter how many techniques you had learned to deal with the trauma. You knew what she was asking, she usually knew better, not to ask since the only people you ever talked about it to were your therapist and Steve your best friend. But Nancy couldn't help it when she was this worried. Her nails before looking beautiful red and long were now becoming chipped from her biting, a habit she thought she had got rid of in high school. The thought of you being hurt sent her back to then, and the anxiety she felt that night. She felt so uncomfortable, twitching in her skin waiting for you to reply.

You sighed on the other end “no Nancy” it felt weird for both to hear you use her real name, it had been a while since you hadn't called her paps. It used to be an occasional nickname you used for her, but when she got head editor at Hawkins post it only felt right for her to be permanently called that. “I'm okay, I promise. I have good news actually”. The anxieties began to wash from Nancy’s body, she exhaled not realise she was holding her breath. “Steve is going to kill me that you found out first, especially since it's kind of his fault I have good news. But you know Jeremy right? Jeremy slacks, well he was talking to the staff at school saying that they need a new drama teacher. And if they had any recommendations so Steve mentioned me. It’s the perfect job for me, I couldn't say no. So I'm moving back, I'm finally gonna be able to see Rosie grow up properly”.

The anxiety crept back but she didn't want you to know, so she put on the act she used when interviewing people when she was uncomfortable with them. She acted cool. “What? Rosie's gonna be so happy. When do you move back?”. You smile on the other end not realising anything was wrong. “Three weeks” Nancy hmmed to show she was listening. Knowing that Nancy was not the quiet type unless she was overthinking. You knew she was worried about the practicality of this, she was always a worrier. “Don't worry I'll have somewhere to live, my parents are gonna help me to find a house. Hopefully they don't try to move me in next door to them” you laughed, your aunt calls you from the other room. “Sorry paps I've gotta go but I’ll see you soon. Like really soon” the phone hangs up.

Once Nancy puts the phone back on the receiver she storms upstairs in search of her husband. The sound of their daughter had disappeared now, showing that she must be asleep. Nancy didn't even notice all she could think of was the call she just received. She walks into her room to find Steve, in his boxer about to go shower. His face beamed when he saw his beautiful wife, that was until he saw the distress that was written all over her face. “What's wrong?” he walked over to her, hoping to embrace her to hopefully take some of her burdens. He reached out to in gulf her into a hug, she pushed him away. “What were you thinking!?”. Steve was very confused, he racked his brain, did he do something wrong? He knew he must have to upset her this much. He didn't know what he did but if apologising made her feel better he would in a heartbeat. “I'm sorry”. Nancy crossed her arms “do you even know what you're sorry for?”

His plan to accept guilt didn't work out as well as he hoped. He looked to the floor in search of something to say before he could even muster out a word Nancy was speaking again. “I get you to miss her but she hasn't been able to set foot here since she left. What's different now?” The pieces of the puzzle were now all together. “Nancy she's ready, I know she is”. Nancy tries not to shout to wake her daughter but Steve’s carefree attitude was pissing her off. “How do you know that? We have to meet her in the city when she visits because of the triggers, YOU say it will cause by her being here”. Steve raises his voice “I know her better than anyone. She’s ready”. Nancy frowns, Steve, noticing, sighs and sits on the edge of the bed, running his hands through his hair. “I'm sorry... I just can't do it anymore. every day I'm waiting for the phone to ring so I can know she's okay. So I can know she hasn't hurt-” , he chokes as a lump forms in his throat.

Nancy makes her way over to him, getting on her knees him front of him. Holding his hands running circles over his palms to let him know she's there for him. “ I thought time would help it go away, but it doesn't. It's like no matter how happy I am, I can't get rid of the thought, the what if. I hate that the only way I can know she is okay is a call at night. There are so many hours in the day Anything could happen. What if something happened again and I'm not there this time? I can't stand it. I know it's selfish, but her life is here it always has been, it's just been waiting for her to come back and claim it. She's told me she thought about coming back loads I was usually hesitant thinking there were just words but a few days ago when we talked, she sounded so sure. I guess I got excited so I decided to give her a reason to come back. I'm sorry”. Nancy kissed the back of his hands “it's okay, you should have told me”. He nodded, tears rolling down his face, that he didn't realise were there. His wife brought her sleeve to his face wiping the tears “you should have told me everything, I'm your wife, your fears are my fears.” Steve smiles at his wife, kissing her head. “Thank you”. She smiled back “ I am happy she's coming back too. I'm just worried” a laugh falls from her lips “Rosie's gonna think Christmas came early” Steve copied her laugh.

Three long weeks later, you were all the group could talk about you. Except when he was around. The him that was currently stood in his bar talking to his staff about the tasks that needed to be done before he left, not aware that his world was about to be turned upside down again. “Also the band gets in at 8, make sure everything is safe and set up for them. And please no alcohol this time, they are underage I don’t want to get in trouble with the chief again”. The staff nod to show they are listening. “Just give me five minutes Sarah and I’ll give you the handover stuff”.

He walks into the back into a stock cupboard that has a small desk with paper and pens filling every surface, a bar stool and a phone hung poorly on the wall. He sits on the chair and starts to dial a number, picking at the holes in his jeans and waiting for someone to answer. “Hello?” Eddie smiles hearing one of his favourite voices “hi dusty bun” he laughs a little. “Eddie, how's work?” Dustin’s sounded warm upon hearing his friend's voice.

Eddie chuckles “why do you assume I wanna talk about work?”. Dustin laughs “that’s the only thing you talk about other than dnd”. Eddie rubs his hands over his face “god am I that dull?”. For the younger boy this could be further from the truth, Eddie was one of the coolest people Dustin had ever met. However, because of how well Dustin knew Eddie, he knew he would mock him for the compliment so he went with sarcasm. Something he had mastered from Eddie. “You’re the dullest person I’ve ever met. It’s exhausting being friends with you”. Eddie chuckled “I can’t be the dullest, you know Mike”. A dramatic gasp comes from the phone. Every day Eddie could see more of himself in Dustin and it worried him, not that he would ever say, but he hoped he would only get his humour and the rest from Steve. Dustin deserves the best in life and being another Edward Munson wouldn’t give him that. “I’ll tell him”, Eddie nods even though Dustin can’t see him “please do”.

He loved to annoy Mike, pretending he was the bane of his existence but he loved him, he loved all of his mismatched little group just some more than others. The only way he knew to show love was through teasing, maybe that was because of who his parents were. Even though most of his life he was brought up by his uncle who showed him, love, by being there but he also never knew the best way to show it. Maybe that was the Munson way. There was only one time he thought he knew what it meant to love conventionally but that was before everything.

You wait outside his trailer, minutes feel like an eternity, waiting, hoping, praying you would feel his warm embrace…

“I’ll tell him tonight” Eddie expects a laugh or joke, something but all he gets is silence. He worries that the signal has gone, “hello” he keeps repeating hoping this will somehow help the phone reconnect. “Fucking piece of shit” the phone slams back into its holder. There’s a tap on the office door “yeah”, Sarah walks in and sits on her boss's lap. She kisses along his jawline “What’s up Eds? ” he glares and moves her off of him. No one was allowed to call him that, the exceptions being, his uncle, Dustin once and you. The name was now a trigger to him and the slight mention made him tense. A word that used to sound sweet, was now venom to him. Any mention of that word caused him to relive things he would rather keep buried forever.

He is careful not to slam the door to announce his arrival. The more time he can practice what he needs to say the better. Mutters coming from him that would be hard to hear unless you were close. Flowers clutched tightly around his fist. The walk to your door was shorter than he had hoped…

She pouts hating to upset her boss/part-time lover “Eddie, baby I’m sorry” he doesn’t react, just saying anything to get rid of her. “best start on stock and things before they get here”. She crouches down so she can rub his legs. Hoping she could help relieve his stress. His eyes roll back the higher her hands roam, a small moan falls from his mouth. She smiles loving the feeling of being needed. The moment is interrupted by the harsh siren on the wall. Eddie raises from his seat making the girl’s hands fall from him “time to get back to work”. The girl stands up looking defeated, “have a good evening off Mr Munson” she leaves his office.

He Inhales and exhales hoping to get rid of any stupid thoughts that were still spiralling around his head. After doing this for a few seconds he picks up the phone, and before he even puts it to his ear he can hear the rambles of his younger friend. “Wow chill out Dustin”. He worries something bad had happened to the boy since they last spoke minutes earlier. “So you’re coming tonight?” Dustin’s voice came out a lot harsher than he meant as the fear took over his body. “Am I not welcome?” Eddie said confidently despite fearing the rejection of the closest person in his life. If he didn’t want him around who would, he thought.

Dustin stutters “of course you are, I just thought you couldn’t come”. Eddie smiled in relief “turns out when you’re own boss you can do whatever you want”. The phone falls silent for a moment, “shit not again!”. Eddie worries the signal has gone again, he taps the phone on the table hoping it will work. He raises it to his ear. “You there?”. Nothing.

He’s about to hang up when he hears breathing on the other end of the line. “You sure you wanna come tonight?”. This is the weirdest Eddie had ever seen Dustin act, there was no way he wouldn’t go now as he had to make sure his friend was okay. “Yes even if the Harrington’s have got something corny planned… see you at 7”. Dustin softly smiles “see you then”

Not realising Eddie had hung up the phone he continues to speak “Eddie she’s gonna be there so if you don’t wanna come you don’t have to” he waits for a response anything, but there was nothing. He looks down at the phone only to realise he was talking to himself. There was now no way to warn Eddie of what he was walking into.

You had only been back in town for an hour. At that time you had only briefly seen your parents when they picked you up from the airport. Despite Steve’s grumble about wanting to see you first, as you saw your parents a month ago and in his words “it was his right as your best friend to welcome you back”. He still got his way, as despite your knowledge you were dropped off not at your parent's house, not your new house, but the Harrington’s. Being the charmer he always was of course he convinced them to drop you at his house. Not that you were complaining, as soon as you entered the house you leapt into his arms, his arms felt so welcoming, like home. Something you hadn’t felt in a long time.

Steve knocked for the fourth time on the door, but there was still no answer. He knew it was rude to just invite himself in, but surely you wouldn’t mind since you had told him where the spare key was. Plus he hadn’t heard from you since you left the weepy voicemail an hour ago. He hated that he wasn’t home sooner to hear it. As the worry was eating him up and the key was in his hand he knew it was his right to welcome himself in. Repeating your name loudly but softly to not scare you, despite the fear he felt. He looked around the living room, the kitchen, and the dining room. Nothing. He started to make his way upstairs to look. While walking up the stairs he saw the light shine through under the bathroom door. A horrible sickly dread entered his body. He don’t know what came over him but he knew he had to get into that bathroom now…

Tears started to fall from both of the old friend's eyes. You had missed each other so much, more than you had realised. You suddenly felt a small force on your leg, break away from the hug, to see your goddaughter, Rosie. Rubbing your eyes before greeting the child. Then you reached down to her level and beamed at the precious girl in front of you. Trying to hold back tears that were seconds away from pouring again. She had grown so much since the last time you had met, her curls now long enough to be put into pigtails. “Hi Angel”, tears started to flow from the small girl’s eyes. She had missed you so much. You wiped the tears with your thumb from the little girl's eyes, “I’m sorry I was gone for so long”. Rosie sniffles “meanie”. You nod “I know I’m a sorry princess. You’ll never have to miss me again, I will always be here”. The girl pouted, she was happy at the thought of always having you around. But she was scared it wasn’t real unless. She stuck out her tiny pinky “prinky promise” she pronounced as well as she could. You smile. a tear escapes from your eye. You held both of your fingers together “pinky promise”.

After a tear felt welcoming from the final Harrington, Nancy. You were sat in the living room, Rosie’s head resting on your leg. She had tired herself out from sobbing before. Not that you could blame her all the crying made you tired too. You couldn't help the warm feeling in your heart from looking at your family, your home. Steve came in with a herbal tea, he placed it on the table in front of you, and took a seat in the armchair across from you, “thanks”.

You expected Nancy to come out as well and join so all of you so you could catch up. From the sounds of banging and frustrated sighs anyone could tell she was in the kitchen. Which was a huge surprise to you. You hadn’t been in Hawkins for a long time, but Nancy was Never, a cook. Not that she hadn’t tried, but she already had so many amazing talents, so what did it matter if there was one thing she couldn’t do? She was still perfection in your, Rosie’s and Steve’s eyes.

You leaned the upper half of your body towards your best friend, careful to not unsettle the small girl underneath you. Whispering loud enough so he can hear “what is Nancy doing in the kitchen? Isn’t it your best friend's duty to make sure I’m not poisoned on my first day back” you joked. “She’s not that bad”. You raised an eyebrow at Steve. “I swear she better, she doesn’t burn as many things as she used to”. You both chuckle “reassuring. But She doesn’t need to cook just because I’m back, I’m not classy I would happily have a KFC”. Steve's mouth watered at the thought of his favourite takeout that he had been trying to cut down on, scared of getting a “dad bod”. He would say it wasn’t cool for someone his age to have one. “Well she thought it would be nice, especially with everyone coming over”. Your mascara-stained eyes went wide. “Have you seen me?” signalling down to the tracksuit you had on for travelling, “I look a mess, I can’t see people like this”. You had never been one to worry about looks but messy raccoon's eyes and a tracksuit didn’t seem fitting for a welcome-back dinner.

After raiding Nancy’s closet for something that would fit, you came across a simple floral dress. Nothing spectacular but it was pretty. It was clear from the tag that Nancy had never worn it, but she insisted she didn't mind as she has received it for Christmas last year and it wasn't her style. She knew it would look beautiful on you. However, Nancy was always one of your biggest cheerleaders so if she was telling the truth or not you'd never know. You had also cleaned your face and put on mascara and Lipgloss you had in your bag. Feeling too bad to borrow more things from Nancy.

The couple were struggling to get the girl to bed before everyone came. Rosie has a serious case of Fomo. “I will only go to bed if auntie y/n takes me”. You would have done anything she said so you were more than happy to follow her orders. However, her parents knowing all too well knew her tricks. They knew she would make it so you couldn't leave her, showing you her puppy dog eyes, which even her parents weren't completely immune to. Meaning you were either going to have to stay in her room with her or take her to the party downstairs. So they thought it was best they did it, which made you sad, you would have honestly preferred to be stuck with the girl all night. Not that you didn't want to see your friends you were just nervous and you felt more comfortable around a 3-year-old, who you know wouldn't ask questions. Wouldn't judge. Wouldn't be scared you were gonna hurt yourself again. She would just be happy to be around her Aunt, probably talking your ear off about my little pony( her new fixation).

You sat in the living room again twiddling your thumbs, hating that could hear the sobs of Rosie upstairs asking for you. You wanted to go upstairs, hearing someone needing you so much was making your heart break but you knew you had to respect her parent's wishes, especially since they were the people you trusted most.

Bang. You jumped not expecting to be pulled away from your thoughts by a knock on the door. You hoped Steve would come down and answer it. You felt sick with butterflies. There was a knock again. You knew it was stupid to be scared to see old friends, but you could never help but feel awkward around them. When in the few times you had seen them since leaving, they all had the same glint in their eyes towards you. Fear. Maybe seeing you more now, showing that you had finally started to have your life ok track would stop that. You were being ridiculous, you knew they only worried because they cared, and it would be fine.

Upon hearing another knock, you held onto the sofa to get up scared your knees would fail you. You exhaled and put on the biggest smile you could. Waking over to the door. You grabbed the handle pulling it open, ready to welcome your friends. However, on the other side of the door was someone you still hadn't prepared yourself to see. You wanted to pitch yourself to make sure this wasn't a nightmare. ‘Ignore your heartbreaking and just keep smiling’ you told yourself. “Long time no see”. If anyone from far was watching they would have thought from the beam on your face, that you were greeting an old friend. But from Eddie’s face, you could tell it was anything but that. Well, his expression was hard to explain. But from his frozen body, it was clear he was shocked. You kept smiling trying to ignore the awkward interaction playing out. You moved your body to the side “come in”. He did but his facial expressions didn't change, he wouldn’t stop staring at you. “So how have you been?”

Steve came bounding down the stairs upon hearing the door shut, happy to be able to get away from his daughter's trauma. He stopped on the bottom step when he saw the unexpected guest. He wore the same face as Eddie. You looked between the pair, you needed Steve now more than ever so you were glad to see him. “Is she still crying for me?”. He nodded still staring at Eddie. You clear your throat you needed him, now wasn't the time to freeze up. He broke away from his trance, looking to you. “You know you should probably go up and see her”. You knew what he was trying to do but you didn't want to unsettle the girl more just because you were uncomfortable. “Steve I don't wanna make her worse”. His brows came together, how was he supposed to help if you wouldn't listen? “Fine do you mind helping in the kitchen just while Nancy is finishing up?”. You nod, leaving for the kitchen. As soon as you left the room a smile fell from your face. You thought you were over it but meeting those brown eyes brought up memories you wish you could forget.

“God why are you so controlling?”, you turn around to face him astonished by his accusation. “I'm trying to help, if you don't wanna do it fine. I just thought you might need some legal cash when you finally graduate”. He flinched. You knew you shouldn't have mentioned that word, it being a sore spot as this was his second time trying to graduate. You also knew you shouldn't mention the drug dealing, an awkward topic in your relationship as you always knew he was better than that life. You knew how sour his mood was about to become, so you were ready to make an apology when you were cut off. “I get it, you don't think I'm good enough to make it? You wanna stick me in some shitty job, so I'm stuck here forever. While you get to go live your dreams. Do you want me to be your little housewife and have food on the table ready for when you get back from your big successful job?”. How could you trying to help turn out so bad? You were always his biggest believer of him, and this was how he was treating you. You weren't sure if you should even mention the baby at this point.

Steve finally left the bottom step. He hated how sick this situation made him feel, it felt like was he responsible to make you happy, and this way the furthest away from that. However, he also didn't want to make his other friend feel unwelcome. Even if his loyalties were with you, he knew how awkward it can be to see an ex. He placed a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, breaking the man free from his frozen demeanour. “Eddie I didn't expect to see you here. Dustin said you had work”. The long-haired man scoffed “I guess there were things we both didn't know”.

[pencilpat]

okay okay! first i wanted to say i love your art! it's so unique and cool!! also super soft when you do moceit and analogical 🥺🩵💛 💜💙 i think those are the characters i find perfect in your style, logan is just 💙✨ (/gen)

so! on the topic of moceit and analogical, maybe some headcanons you have for both pairings? :3 🩵💛 💜💙

Thank you, that's so sweet of you to say! I love every tag you leave on my art, and the whole system is glad you enjoy our work!

Moceit:

Patton has trouble with seeing the other sides as equals, tending to view himself as an authority figure. Not only was Janus the first to challenge this, he was the first to become an equal. Janus challenges a lot of Patton's preconceived ideals and it's good for him - Patton has been living by the morals of a child while also putting himself in a role of power over the others. Janus is needed in order to break apart that dynamic.

Janus and Patton really both love hanging out in the outdoors, and just being around each other and chatting quietly is their favourite way to spend time. Very old married men behaviour.

Janus isn't much of a cuddly person, but Patton very much is. Janus is willing to concede to bedtime cuddles and maybe 5 hugs a day, but no more, no less.

Janus rarely talks about himself and his emotions, he's not fond of the vulnerability that comes with sharing facts about yourself. However, Patton tells Janus everything about himself. To the point that Janus knows about his cold shoulders, even though Patton didn't even know why Janus likes Halloween best.

Patton crochets so many warm clothes for Janus to use during winter to keep him from getting all slow and foggy brained. Janus can become nearly catatonic if he gets extremely cold, and Patton tries to help him stay warm as possible to prevent it.

Analogical:

I LOVE queer romantic analogical!! They care for each other so greatly, even if it couldn't necessarily be defined as a 'relationship', and neither of them want a relationship anyways. (aroace kings)

Logan writes fanfic and Virgil lays against his back on the bed and just hangs out with him. He calls it "nerd stories" but he loves editing for him and proofreading his work (and he loves the opportunity to spend time with Logan and engage his interests and passions in general).

Logan really enjoys letting Virgil show him his music! He enjoys breaking down the beats and melodies logically and the excitement of discovering new things. Logan is an emo and goth music fan by proxy.

Both of them are a bit touch averse and not incredibly physically affectionate, so cuddling or even hugging is rare between them. They much prefer to parallel play beside each other, doing their own thing yet enjoying each other's company.

Virgil truly understands Logan's current struggle, being disregarded and pushed aside, having your opinions discredited and ignored. That's why he never gets mad at Logan for snapping or jumping to conclusions that people hate him. After all, Logan was the one that taught him about cognitive distortions. Virgil is pretty much the only person Logan will accept comfort from at this point.

That's all that is on my mind for now, I love both of these ships so deeply <3

[cordeliawhohung]

https://www.tumblr.com/andmuzzlethat/679840966796050432/heres-weirder-asks-who-isare-your-comfort

ok bonding exercises answer every single one of these (or just a few ones ur comfortable with!)

bet.

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

i don't really have one? simon riley and i are basically the same person tho

lighter or matches?

lighter

do you leave the window open at night?

dogs are too loud and so is the moon

which cryptid being do you believe in?

skinwalkers for sure

what color are your eyes?

wouldn't you like to know weather boy

why did you do that?

thought it would look cool (it never does)

hair-ties or scrunchies?

i usually use claw clips. my hair is too thick

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

0

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

i hate coffee

would you slaughter the rich?

certainly

favorite extracurricular activity?

sleeping

what kind of day is it?

the kind that needs to end already

when was the last time you ate?

maybe 6 hours ago

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

yes

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

no

can you drive?

unfortunately

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

extremely nearsighted

what hair products do you use?

shampoo, conditioner, mouse, some refreshing spray that sorta helps the frizz

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

only if you want them done poorly

do you say soda or pop?

soda

something you’ve kept since childhood?

grief

what type of person are you?

exceptionally mediocre

how do you feel about chilly weather?

would take it over the triple digit desert heat any day

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

listening

perfume/body spray or lotion?

body spray

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

getting away

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

maybe 5?

do you wear a mask?

sometimes at work but not usually

how do you like your shower water?

warm

is there dishes in your room?

some water cups ):

what type of music keeps you grounded?

the music i like usually ascends me

do you have a favorite towel?

thin beach towels, i hate things that are too heavy

the last adventure you’ve been on?

just went on a backasswards adventure with my partner trying to get his truck

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

wayfaring stranger

what’s your timezone?

wouldn't you like to know weatherboy

how many times have you changed your url?

have kept the same one since i created it

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

my partner

a soap bar that smells good?

don't usually use soap bars except the dial antibacterial one that smells like old man

do you use lip balm?

usually at work

did you have any snacks today?

my partner brought me a smoothie

how do you take your coffee?

hate coffee

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

my phone says second to tumblr is google chrome lmao

what’s your take on spicy foods?

love spicy foods

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

his name is on the tip of my tongue but i couldn't pull the trigger then and i don't think i could now lmao

can you remember what happened yesterday?

do most people not?

favorite holiday film?

don't really watch movies for the holiday ):

what was the last message you sent?

"religion gets away with too much and also puts their hands on too much" (we're talking about cults okay)

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

my father left his beer laying around when i was a kid and when i was like 5 i snuck a drink because he was always drinking it and it was so gross i didn't touch that shit again until i turned 20 lmao

can you skip rocks?

i can get like 3 skips maybe

can i tag you in random stuff?

sure

[sensitiveheartless]

20 questions for fic writers!

Tagged by @feralrookie! :D Thank you for the tag!!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

10! (technically, kinda)

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

379,547

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Bungou Stray Dogs! It's also the first fandom I've written for, actually. :D

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This is how it feels to take a fall (Dazai goes feral, time shenanigans)

Plate :( (Dazai breaks a plate, experiences emotions)

Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency (Howl's Moving Castle AU)

Chuunyaa's Pawsitively Catastrophic Day (Chuuya is turned into a cat, it's short and pretty much just shenanigans)

Wish in one hand (First fic I wrote, and the first one I posted — Dazai has emotions about handholding)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, but I've been absolutely terrible at it lately — whenever I'm particularly stressed I start worrying that the negative emotions are going to leak through into what I'm writing and make my tone sound weird, so then I end up turtling in on myself and not saying anything at all, no matter how much I want to engage with people. It's a bad habit, and I want to work on it, so I'm gonna try to catch up on comments! (I treasure every single one of the ones I receive, so for anyone who has left a comment and hasn't gotten a response from me yet, thank you and I am very sorry about my inability to form words in a timely manner skdjfksd)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably An Unsent Letter, since it's pretty much just a short snippet of Dazai being sad while he's leaving the mafia. And even with that one, I have in my head that skk still get together after the four years apart, I just didn't write it. I am dreadful with sad endings — although the ending to "This is how it feels to take a fall" is a little bittersweet, perhaps.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm...I'm gonna say Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency, because it's the one with the longest buildup, so I think it has the most catharsis, at least for me! But I tend to give all of my fics happy endings because, as established, I am a wimp when it comes to hardcore angst. I will say that Zut Alors I Have Missed One is probably a contender for happiest as well, just because that fic had no angst whatsoever and was just Unhinged

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Nope! Everyone's been lovely! I have gotten some for my art, but honestly it was pretty toothless and I couldn't take it seriously lol

9. Do you write smut?

...Yeh. :0 There was an attempt, at least — one fic, and I made it anonymous (so on the extreme off-chance that anyone notices a discrepancy between my total ao3 wordcount listed here and the summed up wordcounts of the fics viewable on my profile, that's why!) It's also another fic I need to finish, I hit my writing roadblock with that one at the same time as all my others, and it's almost doneeee I just need my brain to cooperate >:|

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not any proper crossovers, only things like the Howl AU and the Little Mermaid AU, where I took the settings/plots and put in BSD characters.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

...Possibly? I'm not actually sure, I've given a couple people permission, but I'm not sure if anything came of that, I haven't heard one way or another :0 I do have a tendency to use puns, which I realize might make things difficult for translations

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not so far — and given how tempestuous my schedule has been, it'll probably be a while before I attempt anything like that! Sounds fun, though

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

...I mean, it's gotta be soukoku, because for all that I've enjoyed a lot of fictional pairings before (for example, Howl and Sophie specifically from the HMC books, Beatrice and Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing — I like bickering duos, what do you know — Peter Wimsey and Harriet Vane, currently falling down the Hualian rabbithole because I'm reading Heaven Official's Blessing with my friend, and there's lots of other ones), for as much as I like all those, I haven't really had much of an urge to write anything for them.

So, purely in terms of me wanting to mess around with two characters and write them over and over and over again, it's really only skk! They hit the exact right combination of braincells, I guess lololol

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't?

Hmmm...honestly, most of my WIPs I still intend to finish at some point or another — first priority being the ones I've already started posting, of course! Although...just due to time constraints, I might not get around to writing the thief!Chuuya/detective!Dazai one I was planning a while back. (and I mean a WHILE lol) I didn't write very much of it, and honestly most of the reason I wanted to write it was for comedy — so maybe I'll turn it into a short comic series instead, because I do think some of the bits were funny :0

16. What are your writing strengths?

That's a hard one; I tend to look more at the ways I want to improve my writing then at what I like about it, and I nitpick just about everything I create, art and writing alike. But if I had to pick something, I would probably say dialogue? That tends to be what I write easiest, at least. I still want to get better at that too, though.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions and action scenes. I've been making myself write them more, so I think I'm slowly improving (the Howl AU has been great for that! It pushed me to write all sorts of scenes I wouldn't have normally :D ), but those two things remain what I get bogged down by the most.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the circumstances, I think? I'd include translations if I did. I do tend to include Japanese honorifics when I'm writing in the canon universe, because there's not really english equivalents and it feels like I'm leaving something out when I just do their names straight — although I did take them out when I was doing the Howl AU and the Little Mermaid AU, just as a setting thing.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bungou Stray Dogs — like I mentioned in the ship section, this is the first fandom where I've really felt the urge. Although I did write things when I was little that very blatantly yoinked in various creatures and concepts from the things I was reading and watching, which resulted in stories with pirates and weeping angels and Ringwraiths all running around in the same place. But I didn't usually bother with bringing in actual characters from those pieces of media, or even using the settings, I just made ocs and had them run around in my own made up world.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I like all of them for different reasons, but I think my favorite overall has to be Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency. It's the longest thing I've ever written, and when I started out I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it — so the fact that it's most of the way done (currently chipping away at the epilogue, it is getting to be a LOT of words) makes me really happy. And it's just been so much fun! Writing characters I hadn't before, piecing the world together, working out the magic system, writing Dazai being a mess and Chuuya being cool, it's all been a blast. And I seriously need to finish the epilogue, because the followups are living in my brain and they demand to be freed aksdfjksdjfk

But yeah! I'm not sure how many writers I know on here have already been tagged, so I'll just go open tags on this one! :D If any of y'all write and feel like doing this, then go for it!