#(has been for 100+ years welp)

[fable-x4]

Doing this because it makes me happy •Ꮂ•. Im making it difficult on all of you though.

1 note- I'll go drink water

10 notes - I'll set alarms to actually care for myself

50 notes - set up a daily productivity system so I stop wasting my time doing nothing.

100 notes - ask my friends to help me buy a skirt

500 notes - get a bra & a whole bunch of other affirming clothing !!!

1k - tell my dad that my gf is also trans

2.5k - ask my dad to address me by my prefferred name & pronouns 1k went pretty poorly, so I dont feel super comfortable making an attempt on this.

5k - try to get therapy/psychologist

10k - girl mode at all times (start actively wearing makeup/clothing/doing voice training around people at all times)

50k - try for HRT (0% chance) (also no guarantee on this one)

Asfgg. It feels surprisingly good to have a bunch of strangers who want me to be happy

I have now set up alarms for eating, waking up, and hygene related stuff. I seriously doubt we get to 500, but this has made me significantly happier •Ꮂ•

Doing some math... 25 notes in 4 hours. 6.25 notes per hour. 8000 hours or 333 days until this hits 50k. Hrt in a year ig.

Um. Wow. Its been a day, and we're almost at 300. Everything 500 & below was supposed to be things I'd do with minimal intervention. But now, we're getting to the scarier stuff. I am very intimidated, but also excited

My gf really badly wanted to be here when I buy some of the clothing, so the skirt will be this week, the rest of the clothing will be when she comes back from vacation

Saying that you're force femming me is so not allowed. This is unfair. You have no right to make me feel the ways Im feelingggg. Stop making me happy.

Welp. I told him about my girlfriend. And things went about as poorly as expected. He said that Im parroting what other people think. Slowly taking little parts of them, and applying them to myself. Specifically, being trans. He didnt even leave it to maybes. He said with certainty that I was copying everyone else. I know 9 trans people total. Only 2 of them are my close friends. Everyone else, Im barely aquaintences with. I should have told him that regardless of whatever theories he has, this has boosted my confidence massively. Slightly less excited for 2.5k notes. At least everything after that is very positive. And at least this lets me talk about my girlfriend for ages. I dont have to say her deadname through gritted teeth. Oh context. He already knows Im trans but was ignoring it.

I GOT A SKIRT!!!!!

Thank all of you so much. At first when I got the skirt, I was pretty intimidated by the idea of showing my legs. I thought everyone will just see me as a man. But there's a degree of confidence you all have given me. Yeah. Im pretty. Yeah, Im beautiful even. Yeah. Its a friggin fantastic skirt. And anyone who thinks otherwise is dumb. Im happy, and thats what matters.

[makelemonade]

why would you make that the safe-word?!

“My dear, as much as I would never want to think of hurting you in any way, I believe we may need a safe-word for, well, our intimacy…just in case I get a bit too rough on you or something happens. I trust in your decision to choose one.”

“Hmm…oh! I know, let’s make it…”

♡Pantalone

“Dottore!”

Pantalone falters in any type of movement he is making, and slowly turns to look at you, thinking you’re joking. Instead, you have a large smile on your face, but not one that screams “I’m so serious.”

“Are…are you serious?” He has to ask, completely shocked.

You nodded.

“And why would I want you to think about him in this scenario?”

“Just think about it! Obviously, If we need to stop, if I scream his name you’ll think about how he’s a freakish doctor and you’ll stop immediately!”

“I…” He tried to think of any argument, but you did have a point. So, he just sighed. “Alright.”

♡Dottore

“Akademiya!”

“I beg your finest pardon?” Dottore almost laughed at how confident you sounded, even thought it was so obviously a joke! Right?

He took a look at you and realized you were serious.

“To remind you of the worst moments in your life; when you got banned and thrown out. It’ll probably turn you off immediately.”

“Right…” He just nodded slowly. Well, you weren’t wrong; if you screamed that out during sex he would 100% get turned off and look at you with a glare, so it was…

“Perfect.”

♡Diluc

"Fatui!"

"Absolutely not." He deadpanned, crossing his arms over his chest. "I will not have your mind on the Fatui when I fuck you."

You started to laugh. "Oh come on! You hate them, so it'll definitely make you stop!"

"No. My answer is final."

"...what about Favoniu-"

"Y/N!"

Welp.

♡Pierro

"Khaenri'ah!"

"Pardon?" Did he hear you right? There's no way you just said his homeland- you know his land that was destroyed by the archons years ago and he's been beefing them since?

"Khaenri'ah." You repeated, and he only stared at you.

He said nothing, and you started to shrink under his gaze. "It'll remind you..and make you stop.."

He said nothing, instead glaring down at you. You waited for him to speak, but he would not say anything, and you knew it was a definite no.

♡Alhaitham

"Cyno!"

"Anything but that."

"Azar!

"No."

"Kaveh!"

"Maybe I don't trust you enough to decide this."

"Oh come on, it'll make you stop immediately!"

"If I ever hear you scream Kaveh's name in any type of matter when we have sex, I will lock you out with him."

a/n: in no way am I trying to make fun of safe-words. Safewords are very important to have whenever it comes to intimacy with a loved one, or anyone. I just thought this would be a funny idea!

[kindred-spirit-93]

me asf

listen the Chinese were cooking SO HARD with the “red string of fate”

[missmouse43]

Don’t read this if you haven’t watched part 2

Welp. Now we know why they didn’t get renewed for a 6th season. Fuck me for having hope, eh? I knew we were cooked by episode 8. I’m having war flashbacks from my time in the 100 fandom…

I mean, what is there to say? I’m devastated. They knew where the season would end and they still robbed us of any meaningful Jiara content in part 2. And to kill off the kid that spent his entire life being abused and thinking he didn’t deserve to be loved? By his own blood father who ALSO turned out to be a massive disappointment who made him feel unworthy of love?? I’m shaking. I feel sick to my stomach. There is not an ounce of satisfaction for me coming out of this death.

I said what I said about leaving this fandom if JJ died and I meant it. For my own emotional well being I have to step away. To everyone who has been so kind and welcoming to me these past few years, thank you. To those who read my fanfics and interacted with my posts, thank you. And to those who reached out, sending me messages, engaging in conversation with me, thank you.

My time in this fandom has been a roller coaster of the highest highs and lowest lows, but I’m so grateful to have been a part of it. If you’d like to continue following me, that’s great. I’m sure I’ll find a new hyper fixation soon enough. But if not, if you only followed me for obx/jiara, then I completely understand if you unfollow me. I myself just unfollowed all the obx related blogs I follow. I swear it’s nothing personal. I just really need to get away from all this.

It hurts my heart that I’m unable to sign off this post with a ‘P4L’ but I see now that was a lie, so I won’t. I wish Rudy all the best and I hope he goes on to find success in whatever avenues of life he decides to take.

Thank you all, but this is goodbye.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Welp, I talked with my doctor and we've decided that it's about time to admit my family's strong history of genetic cardiovascular disease is starting to catch up with me. I've known it was coming since I was a kid but I'd been hoping I could at least make it to 30 first!

I'm in my late 20s, and I know that sounds young for this kind of thing, and to clarify I'm absolutely 100% fine right now, but literally not a single man on my dad's side of the family has reached 40 without at least one heart attack. My grandpa had his first one at 26, a few years younger than I am. We've just got a very very strong genetic history of heart disease and I knew it would find me eventually. I get my blood work checked often because of this, especially knowing that being on testosterone would raise me to the risk levels of a cis guy, and we've finally decided my cholesterol is just too high.

It's just a little scary, to be on a statin to lower cholesterol at my age, and I can't help but wonder how long it's going to be until it gets more serious. My blood pressure is absolutely fine and my levels aren't even at the point where they'd usually start medicating for, they're just going ahead and doing it now given my family's history, so I'm not, like, at risk of imminent death or anything, but it's just really freaky.

[bengiyo]

Century of Love Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

Last time, San felt bad about what happened with Vee, but then he transformed into a kid and almost got snatched. Vee helped him and then walked him home. Vee tried to help him when he heard Sun crying in pain, which led to a naked pratfall and the family catching them in the tub together. San's poison is getting worse, and so he agreed to marry Vee, who's totally down to be a sugar baby. Vee almost got killed, and got to see San in full display of his power. Now, with Vee's grandmother getting closer to death, he's considering using the stone for her.

Whoever is in charge of putting these shirts on San that show off Daou's neck and shoulders, thank you.

No, they kicked Tao in the face! I suppose that's the price we have to pay to see San physically lift Vee like that.

There are so many stairs in this house.

Vee uses his charm well to get info.

I do love when a poor character gets to gorge themselves on nice food.

Okay, that eviction story also gave me pause.

This man has experienced over 36,000 nights of his wounds reopening every night. That is horrible.

Yes, Vee. Consider how the suffering of undeath compares to facing the end.

Imagine not sleeping well for 100 years. I'd be cranky as hell all the time, too.

Here come nephew starting shit again.

I appreciate the show having Ton voice reasonable doubts to all of this.

When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.

Man, this show constantly benefits from the leads being dancers.

My man Vee FUCKS!

Juu is getting her life!

Yes, Vee, seduce that old man.

He really let that man fall to the floor!

Offroad has been working out more, too. They're both so vascular now.

We're finally getting to see Vee as a fox spirit. But fan of the rattling and falling cup as a metaphor for San's sexual desire overflowing.

Not a Naruto reference!!!

Vee's grandmother is always so funny.

Welp, they snatched the grandpa.

THEY STABBED MY BOY!!!

POND IS BACK NEXT WEEK HELL YEAH.

I continue to have an absolute blast with this show. It's been really easy to follow, despite all the goings on, and I like the way the cast works together. I'm looking forward to San possibly having the same rival again next week.

[viidemoo]

OOOOOO

COULD YOU WRITE HOW ART THE CLOWN WOULD SHOW HIS AFFECTIONS??

Art the Clown and affection

An: there’s like one kinda suggestive line at the end 😧

Words of affirmation

Welp

This one definitely isn’t his strongest but if he could talk he would say some pretty interesting things

If you have a white board anywhere in your home he will leave you little notes

If not you’ll find little pieces of paper around your house with messages from Art

Acts of service

This one is 50/50 for him

If you were to spill a drink he could react in 2 ways

Either grab a mop and clean it up, or do his over dramatic laugh while pointing at you

For the sake of this lets say he’ll do #1 😋

I wanna say he’d be pretty good at this one but I just don’t see him doing a whole lot when it comes to this, that doesn’t mean he’s horrible at it tho

Gifts

Definitely spoils you

Show him something you’ve been wanting for a while?

In a few hours it will be all yours! Don’t mind the bit of blood on it

Its pretty easy for him to get you anything you want

However, he’ll sometimes get you things you didn’t ask for

Occasionally you’ll see a box neatly wrapped on your counter with the tag saying “from art”

How sweet! A human heart…

A few seconds later you will most definitely feel a tap on your shoulder for the clown himself tapping his cheek asking for a kiss

Quality time

Now we’re getting somewhere

Art definitely loves spending some time with you

Seeing that he’s gone for most of the year

Wither that’s watching a show, just hanging out around your house, occasionally going out somewhere, ..other things 🤫🤫

He very much values the time he has with you and so do you <3

Physical touch

His favorite

He’s always touching you in one way or another

That can mean he’s holding your hand, your arm, a hand around your waist (or ass), etc.

OMG he will 100% do that thing where he’ll fake yawn and wrap his arm around your shoulder

Now don’t be too surprised if the two of you are lying in bed cuddling and things take a sexual turn

He js loves you so much 🤗

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #12

Stanky Danky

Me: Huh, Mark's extended family must have stopped dropping by to eat the pollution. Mr. Guzman: There's even trash in space! Me: oh no

I like how Hazel consistently wears her hair covering at night. The first time I heard this show would have a black girl for a protagonist (like a year+ ago), I was really nervous about whether it would be handled well- I'd braced myself for "trying too hard to score diversity points."

I have to say, I've liked the hair style variety within her own family, and I feel like there have been more black background characters than I remember from the OG show (though I didn't go practically frame by frame in the OG like I'm doing for this liveblog).

I didn't say it in "Trial or Hair-or," but I enjoyed how Hazel formed a stronger bond with and love for her hair, as I feel like that would be important to her personal identity. I like how she always wears this hair covering to bed. Little details like that make me feel so much more at ease about something I was really nervous about for what feels like 15 months.

SLKDJFSLDKJF Cosmo and Wanda are still sleeping in separate beds. I mean, that's standard Fairy culture in my 'fics, so it works for me.

Trash monster is nice! Didn't see that coming.

Hazel: I wish he could speak at least a few words? /wish granted and he can speak only a few words

I knew it, Kennueth IS on a cliff in that poster. I'm surprised Hazel had to wish for him to breathe air last episode.

Uh-oh, it's Dimmadome time- WHAT DO YOU MEAN "one-time use helicopter??" Sir, you can't bring that to an event about polluting less and saving the earth! ... Is Dale in there? I have to assume so. I've been missing him.

Me: Aww, Dale looks just like his old self! Awesome, and easier to recognize when he's not panning across the- OH MY GOSH!!! Dale: When I was your age, I spent my Saturdays working in a factory underneath a lemonade stand >:/ (Pulls out photo of him from "Nectar of the Odds"

Sir. SIR!! Do not repeat the abuse cycle with your son!

-> I hate that he just carries this around. Dale, you need to let it go. And maybe sue Vicky, idk.

I'm CRYING, I love how they gave him false teeth. That's hilarious.

The boots... That's a Dimmadome, all right.

Like, on some level I'm glad Doug spoiled him after he was rescued from Vicky's lemonade horror show, but I'm gettin' a bad feeling...

I can only assume this family tells horror stories about Vicky. This is the funniest anti-hero backstory ever. I was also going to treat Dale's torment 100% seriously in 'fic, but this is way more fun.

They are not cutting any corners. They didn't even change his backstory; he literally got tormented underneath a lemonade stand for 7 years. That's the one piece of canon he was given in the OG show and by golly, are they sticking to it.

Did Vicky take over the lemon torture pit from someone else?? Did she start this gig when she was 9? Is she gettin' retconned? Hm.

They definitely do not drink lemonade in the Dimmadome house. Please let me see Hazel offering Dev his first taste. If we don't get that as an episode someday, I'm writing a 'fic.

Dev trying to get out of pollution clean-up day: But... is our company even earth-conscious?

Too funny.

Okay, I've been thinking about it ever since Episode 1, but why didn't Dale get a fairy? I was waving it off under the assumption he'd only been underground for a couple days max, but... with 7 years, now I have questions.

-> Did Vicky move her lemonade kids around? The stand wasn't always on Timmy's front lawn, but... Surely Cosmo or Wanda would've detected him if he WAS under Timmy's lawn for 7 years.

WELP, trash monster's upset there's not gonna be more trash to eat if they clean it all up. I can see the problem. Uh-oh...

Why do I get the feeling that Dale has said "Come to Daddy," to the trash monster more than he's said it to his own son?

Hazel's parents didn't come to the trash clean-up?

sldkfjsdklfj he's still got the boots... I hate him /affectionate.

There is something severely funny to me about how they've made it clear they took inspiration from Dale's canon design, but his adult design lost his fluff and cowlick and has sleeker, professional hair. Something about this feels very correct for this art style because I feel like a lot of the adults have shiny hair without little tufts and decorations. I might redo my adult designs.

Oh, Hazel doesn't even know that's Dev's dad because she didn't see his mental pictures in Episode 1. This keeps getting better. I love how she also said "That guy with the ridiculous boots" after I pointed out the boots. Yes, Hazel, we've been over this... He's a Dimmadome.

Cosmo and Wanda in their apartment again! Just chillin'.

I don't know why I didn't expect Dev's drones to be called Dimmadrones.

Dale to the trash monster: You're like a son to me! Dev in the background:

The moon is still a waxing crescent when you're in space? ... I mean, I guess.

Peace of Pizza

Ya know, I'm surprised we haven't seen the Ya Boix drinks come up more than the fact that Kev sponsors them (mentioned in 2 episodes). I guess it's nice that they were depth for a side character, but that surprises me since they're the first thing you see in the theme song.

Ooh, Dev's in the title card! Where's this going?

I like how Hazel was using Cosmo pencil to stab Wanda eraser. She may have fairies, but she's still a bored schoolkid.

I... I was going to cheer that we had a list of names for classmates, but uh...

The Kindness Chart isn't in alphabetical order. I feel like putting Dev at the bottom was a targeted move.

Or it's reverse alphabetical since she's Hazel Wells and he's Dev Dimmadome.

It's still a waning crescent?

Maybe I'm old-school, but "pea pod aliens" is setting off all my alarm bells.

... Aliens are insisting everyone loves pizza, but what if someone's lactose intolerant?

Okay, since we're just coming off the episode where Dale reminded Dev he was locked underground making lemonade for 7 years, I feel like I don't blame Dev for not trusting anyone?

Like, I get the feeling his dad is emotionally absent, but this might not entirely be his dad's doing. I'm not sure I'd trust people either if my dad got yoinked for 7 years when he was my age.

Especially since Vicky's whole thing is that she's nice until she starts bullying. Yeah... don't trust.

sdfklj, Dev slam-dunking his stuff in the trash can and backflipping away. That's so unnecessarily extra.

Does the news never have anything important to report? ... I'm glad Winn brought up the thought of getting their own pizza, since I was wondering about that myself.

SLKDFJSDF...

Hazel: Dev, I have someone here who wants to talk to you! Dev: What's she doing? The Closer: She's trying to use someone close to you to appeal to your emotions. Dev: ... ?? No one's close to me. wtf. /scene change where Cosmo is dressed as Dev's dad.

Oh, this is gonna go great.

Dev, instantly switching gears after hearing "his father"'s voice through the door: ... Dad? You took off work for this?

Ruh-roh.

-> Wanda can read him like a dog-eared book.

So... She- she's gonna report this to Jorgen, right? I feel like she's supposed to do that. She's gonna tell him this kid is ticking multiple misery boxes, right? She's not just gonna ignore this... Wanda, please.

Not sure how I feel about the running gag that so many adults look like Timmy's adult self from "The Big Problem." Throws me off every time and I wasn't a fan of that design anyway, so it feels weird.

HE'S LACTOSE INTOLERANT, I KNEW IT! ... Well, not really him specifically, but I was on the right track.

Oh, this is terrible. Am I mistaken, or aren't lactose intolerant pills like, $10? Does he know? Does he know.

Dev: I thought lactose-free pizza was just a myth?

Dale, you're a terrible father.

Also, I like how a lot of effort was put into converting their designs to 2D, right down to Dev's yellow zipper stripe:

Okay, that's enough for this post... On to "A New Dev-elopment"!

[celestialspiritbabe]

Fairy Tail 100 Years Quest episode 6: thoughts + opinions

Troubled Lucy

to be completely honest, I've actually never heard of this omake before, but nonetheless, I'm happy it got animated!

ah yes, classic Natsu and Happy making themselves at home at Lucy's apartment (I'm not saying it won't be their home in the future, but iykyk🤞🏻🤞🏻)

I love how Natsu is being supportive in his own special way lmao

L: ''I'm already on a one week extension and I can't ask my editor for more time!'' N: ''Editor? Want me to blast 'em and get you a longer extension?'' L: ''DON'T YOU DARE!''

Lucy my beloved // SHE'S JUST SO PRETTY!

aww, Natsu and his job offer is probably the biggest reason for Lucy getting a sudden surge of inspiration and potentially overcoming her writer's block🫶🏻

WHY ARE THEY ALL BEING SO SHOCKED OVER THE FACT THAT A FREAKING DRAGON GOD IS CAPABLE OF WIELDING SUCH STRONG POWERS?

I'll say it once again: Lucy looks soooo freaking beautiful in her Sagittarius Star Dress

LUCY CALLING OUT FOR NATSU!😭😭😭

MY BOY (OR DRAGON?) IGNIA FINALLY MAKING AN APPEARANCE!

the animation excellence in this episode has been off the charts so far!!

okay, but why does Ignia low-key look hot??

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I CANNOT FIND ANY INFORMATION ABOUT WHO VOICES IGNIA IN THE ENGLISH DUB??? (I was hoping it would be Clifford Chapin, but this honestly sounds more like Zeno Robinson aka Hawks from MHA)

LOOK AT THEM! ❤️‍🔥

L: ''Oh yeah, if you eat these flames you can power up!'' N: ''NO WAY I'M SCARFING DOWN THAT NASTY GUY'S FIRE!''

(welp, little did they know about the chaos that would ensue not that long after)

''I'M ALL FIRED UP NOW!'' // TODD HABERKORN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND THEY/THEMS, TODD HABERKORN! 💕

''Those flames can boil the sea and can probably evaporate the sky, scorch the earth. For the very first time ever, I felt afraid of Natsu's fire.'' // LOOK AT LUCY BEING ALL WORRIED AND SCARED FOR THE LOVE OF HER LIFE. 😭😭😭

SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

L: ''Come on Natsu, it's okay. It's over now, and I'm right here with you.''

THIS IS DEFINITELY MY FAVORITE EPISODE SO FAR!

ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS FROM THE MANGA FINALLY GOT ANIMATED + AMAZING VOICEWORK FROM TODD AND CHERAMI TO WRAP EVERYTHING UP! FELLOW NALU SHIPPERS, WE'VE BEEN WELL FED. ❤️‍🔥

[in-collection]

Hotel Vast Horizon by @rocket-eighty-eight

Heat (1995) | Vincent Hanna/Neil McCauley | 16,202 words | 100 pages

You can see and download the whole typeset HERE.

You can also print it if you want a copy for yourself! I provide printable files below. Check out the guide first ↓ The book is 11x18cm AKA 4,3x7,1" & can be printed with a coptic stitch or staples. Mine's printed on 80gsm grey recycled paper & 210gsm grey paper for the cover.

DOWNLOAD THE FILES / PRINTING & BINDING GUIDE

PRINTING NOTES: This typeset goes pretty close to the edges of the pages, so be careful when cutting it, and the first signature or so has double-spread images, so I'd really recommend making sure your double-sided printing is calibrated for this one (whether you're doing it at home or at a printing shop).

HEY!!!! HI! finally. If you've checked the Heat (1995) (Al Pacino and Robert De Niro Go on a Date: The Movie) tag on AO3 in the past year you've probably checked out Hotel Vast Horizon (Michael Mann Could Never: The Fic). Welp here it is on paper.

The common thread in the typeset was always the ocean (and shit, I said the o-word. did you know there are like 20 references to water, seas and storms in HVH, and yet never once "ocean" is said?). The other thread was the Bitstream Cooper typeface, which is round and curvy and so pleasing on the eye. Isn't it? Also Arial (underrated), because I needed it for the sequencing to show that Michael Mann is a loser. I'm kidding. Or am I? But this brings me to another major thing: the sequencing. (The common denominator between movies and books: the sequence.) That can only be apprehended on the full PDF/book, and it's really something that did not really exist (in so much depths) in the previous typesets.

As to what the sequencing is saying, or what the hell this intro is about (no I did not have a stroke when I did it), I will not say much if only that it is about the vocabulary, the image, the movie, the things that go beyond fate, a little bit Neil vs Vincent and a lot the reason vs the heart. More things shall remain unexplained because I feel they would be better experienced than laid out here.

If you'd still like to know what's actually going on in this thing don't hesitate to send in an ask lol.

More details on the technical matters + a visualization at the bottom, because there is work involved and my micro typography is so clean it could give Neil McCauley a boner.

help where do i even begin? I learnt how to use FontForge to create a new typeface specifically for that symbol at the beginning of the paragraphs in order to implement it in InDesign (see fig.1 below), I changed the Arial's @ in FontForge too (fig.2) to have it fit with the underline in @ rocket88, what the hell.

2. I also drew 11 (I think) illustrations for the intro (yes, those knots......), but that wasn't as complicated as I thought it would be. I do deeply curse InDesign's "Print Booklet" function for how much it hates images though.

3. I would like you to meet my InDesign characters styles (fig.3) as they simply are impeccable and the best you will ever see, I could not have been more professional if you had paid me 5 grand for this. The hyphens! The dashes! The custom small caps!

4. To get even further in the micro typography. It is, in most, most cases, much too time-consuming to properly kern (=modulate the space between your characters and/or words) your text for how little the average eye will get out of it, and/or your average graphic designer is certainly not getting paid enough to actually do it properly. I, on the other hand, am insane and unemployed, therefore yes, I kerned this shit. Micro typo is actually the sculpture of the white spaces of your page. When done thoroughly it does mean checking every characters with your own eyeballs.

So in english, since this typeset is in english, the rules are no spaces for punctuation. Right? and not right ? It makes for a pretty tight block. I do argue too tight - although of course you'll also have times where you want tight. (And this is all within the 5% of the time where kerning matters.) That might not sound too bad until you get to em-dashes, this '—' thing. Which is a literally useless punctuation mark that is so hysterically long it'll leave an unnatural horizontal void in your text and draw all attention to it—you know, instead of the text itself. Useless, because it can always be replaced by commas, colon, semicolon, or parentheses. Unnatural, because em/en-dashes do not follow a typeface's characteristics (when hyphens do! fig4), so they hardly fit with serifs, AND characters are generally vertically stressed in latin (fig5: which one looks normal?) except... well. So you'll have the tightest group of punctuation marks humping each other?!"— then a dash literally the size of a whole ass m that looks nothing like the rest. ridiculous. absurd.

Anyway the point is I said bye-bye to this aberration and used hyphens stretched at 260% (lmao. it works so well?). And sometimes 230%. Sometimes with a space after, sometimes not - if not the same meaning then why the same treatment (fig6)? I wondered at this point if I wasn't going too far (lol) but this is the point of micro typo, so, whatever. See fig7 for more kerning stuff.

5. I have far less things to say about this part than the last even though I must have spent twice as much time on it, but I just wanted to say that I manually set the text rag on all 69 pages, it looks nice, I love tetris, AND!!!! the greatest thing about the whole fucking book (fig8): the text starts on the top line of the first column, and ends, on p.91, on the LAST line of the column, at the very bottom of the page, and IT IS NOT. BY. CHANCE!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

thanks for reading. perfection has not been achieved and there might still be typos. see you later.

[genericpuff]

welp, i finished the Dawntrial MSQ last night

it was

uh.

i actually enjoyed a lot of the things people were complaining about in the beginning, because while i could understand their criticisms, to me its flaws felt like something it would grow past as it was establishing a new foundation for a new story, which was what was promised to us, and obviously that's gonna require slowing down the pacing and lowering the stakes, which is fine!

but then the second half of the MSQ hit and i just-

on paper it should have been amazing

on paper i should have fucking loved it

but in execution, i stg trying to finish the lvl 98-100 MSQ took years off my life, even tho the majority of them took me a single night to beat, it still felt like it both overstayed its welcome and also did way too little with what it was trying to present us with

i know this is vagueposting because i don't wanna spoil, but man. "divisive" is definitely a word to describe the Dawntrail MSQ with, especially considering how many people were telling me "it gets better in the second half!" and again, I thought the first half of it wasn't as bad as people were saying, so I was HYPED for the second half, and instead I was brutally disappointed by what I got instead u.u

that said, the dungeon and trial gameplay mechanics are great, when the expansion remembers that it is in fact a video game it does it really well, it's just unfortunately not often enough for it to make up for the sloggy pacing of the story

the music is a bop, there are a couple tracks that i was a little eeeh on because they just felt really saccharine in a way that just clashed entirely with the tone of XIV and made me want to throw my headphones in the garbage, but the majority of the soundtrack was otherwise really well done, soken was really channelling his inner david wise here with the donkey kong vibes LOL but there are some somber tracks that are great too, there's a lot of range here in the soundtrack that should be appreciated despite the odd cringe track

environment design was solid, there were some zones that were questionable in their design because some of them felt pitifully empty despite promising bustling populations (looking at you, Tuliyollal and Solution Nine >:x)

but man , the last zone was brutal and that sucks because again, on paper, the concept SHOULD have been awesome, but ultimately it's still relying on the exact same plot devices in the past (insert lost civilization whose previous inhabitants/rulers are hellbent on keeping it alive even at the expense of current civilizations here) and the gameplay itself deadass forgot it's a game because there isn't a SINGLE instance of necessary combat or gameplay during all of it and so when the final quest (as per tradition, named "Dawntrail") finally pops up, it's like wait what ? that's it?? thankfully the last quest has both a dungeon and trial in it but it feels less like thought out design and more like the game devs remembering they had to actually include some gaming in their video game at the last minute LOL

i think the extra burden of directing FF XVI definitely caught up to Yoshi-P on this one, as well as the budgeting problems that still exist from COVID, and the fact that much of that budget clearly went to overall QOL changes like the graphics engine getting an almost complete rehaul (even in the previous expansions which is. a lot of work. like they want to re-texture ALL of the gear in this game and THAT'S A LOT, literally thousands of items!). where this expansion wins, it wins big, but those wins aren't enough to carry an overall lackluster experience that drags itself out way too fucking long for its own good. the story could have absolutely used a few more rounds in the writing room, if they couldn't afford more voice acted scenes then they should have simply just cut down on the amount of cutscenes, and i think the devs need to seriously ask themselves if the Trust system is worth dragging the Scions back into every adventure even when they have nothing to do (and it shows). like idk, just spitballing here, but the Trust system might be a good chance to re-introduce the GC squadrons, no? maybe go back to the roots a little bit and buff up the stuff that could still have a lot more life if given a chance?

anyways my experience with DT has been about a 6/10 and that score in the end will depend on how the patch quests go over the next couple years, I still prefer it over Stormblood (fr fuck SB lol) but it definitely feels like it's trying too hard to be like EW and ShB while missing what made EW and ShB so good in the first place (or acknowledging why its flaws were forgivable within the context of their respective designs, like yeah EW's pacing was iffy too but it at least had a lot more going on in it to justify it, DT is just grasping at straws by comparison). and in that sense it winds up being a lot more like ARR, where it's just kind of lost in what it's trying to do and creates a worse experience by the end. hopefully like with ARR back in the day the devs will figure out it's time to shake things up and try something new without using the old as a crutch.

[nomsfaultau]

Can you ramble to me about anything with Philza pretty please

welp I'm working on Mandatory Family Reunion at this second, so. The absolute way MFR Philza just messes up his children each in such fun unique ways. Like the damage to Techno is OBVIOUS. Gaslighting minimizing destroying his entire sense of self etc etc. Philza is so deeply delusional, and the way he infects Techno is fascinating. But basically all of MFR is about that.

However, the way he hurts Wilbur and Tommy is so neat too, and I think it implies so much about Philza. Wilbur clearly has no sense of consequences for his actions ever. Which is crazy for a dude who has been doing various criminal activities. Super sheltered but thinks he isn't. And the way he's been left feeling incomplete, dedicating his entire life to getting back his 'other half'. And of course Philza gives him this whole talk about 'he is not replacing you' and 'our capacity for love grows' etc etc, promising Wil directly that he is equally loved. But like. He just clearly isn't. Philza is constantly, constantly paying 100% attention to Techno, which does ultimately lead to his down fall; Wilbur building the raid beneath his nose, being too depressed to properly rig the court case. Philza is utterly consumed with the mythos of his prodigal son, and forgot his 'eldest constant son' in the process. Like Wilbur word for word says he's just an attention whore, and Philza has so, so clearly shaped that. Grown up in the shadow of an impossibly perfect martyr that Philza built up in his head.

Plus Wilbur says he hasn't felt guilt since he was twelve, so he straight up just let a preteen into his criminal empire????? What is WRONG with him?

And Tommy. Ohhh Tommy. This is something I'll be really getting into chapter 11ish, but like Philza's severe paranoia was pretty detrimentous to him. Spending weeks in a bunker cut off from all his friends with no idea what's happening to his absent family? Hello? The strict scheduling and security makes me think Philza doesn't really let Tommy just spontaneously hang out with friends. See: actual months before he let Techno see even one friend (okay extreme case but still). And of course it's so very justified to Philza because welp he lost one kid before so no level of security is too much.

The fact Tommy thinks he was adopted to try and replace Techno. And. I mean maybe? Genuinely that might've been philza's angle?? At the VERY least Philza did not notice and cure that anxiety that his kid has. Obviously it didn't last long, but at the start Tommy really resents Techno in a way that's so unhealthy. Tommy is just screaming abandonment issues, really, especially during the Nether kidnapping. Philza promises to do better, of course. And then just doesn't, again. He completely shuts out everything but Techno the days leading to the final raid, and then lets himself go to jail. MFR Philza has all these pretty words, but he really, really does not back them up.

But also, he's lived every single second of the past 18 years in the minute he found Alexander's empty cradle, and I think it took Techno's last testimony for him to wake up. Philza spends most of MFR doubling down on the promises he's made about his happy ending for years. It's how he kept himself together and destroyed himself all at the same time.

Which, in comparison with The Lambs wolves wear Philza, it's really funny how both of them treat the mask of fatherhood. MFR Philza chasing perfect fatherhood so desperately to stave off the trauma of losing a child. And Lambs Philza forced into playing a perfect father no matter how much he hates it, again to stave off the trauma of losing a child. Anyway just funny they're both bad and fake at being a Dad in polar opposite ways.

Hold on I think Worth far more than your weight in gold Philza is also dadmoding to avoid dead child trauma. And Fault Philza gets Anderson killed and immediately stress adopts Wilbur as a coping mechanism. Honestly same with Tubbo. And Lord what fools these mortals be! Philza is kidnapping humans so he doesn't have to think about the horror of being a stagnate immortal.

Actually this is a really really funny trend I just found in my Philza's. Dad as coping mechanism and is kinda bad/traumatizing at it.

[blommp717]

hi, thx for being open to everyone! (can i be 🍓 anon? for follow up questions )

first of all i'm sorry this is so long, i've just had some questions about nd for months now and there was no one i felt i could ask until you showed up. i hope it's ok to direct my doubts to you? ( i can break it into smaller, separate questions if you prefer)

i've read all your posts so far and so i've concluded that the person is because i (awareness) know myself to be the person, correct? then how do i know to be something different? i honestly don't know how to do that 😓

i've been studying nondualism for a year now and it's been said that awareness is beyond the mind, so to reach it (and i assume then be able to be something different - since as the person you can't really change anything - ) you need to go beyond the mind. i've been trying to reach beyond the mind recently and what i've gathered so far is that there is a sense of being / existing that is kind of beyond the mind, at least i think it feels that way. you mentioned it to be like an empty presence in a previous post and it felt relatable to what i'm trying to describe.

but idk what to do beyond this… i know that to be aware of something is not the same as affirming it since we've all done that in loa and it went nowhere. i think my question is how to do this without the mind? (since the mind can't reach it) i've also concluded that the mind is intrinsically connected to whatever awareness is conscious of being, for example my mind: I've accepted that i'm awareness and the person / life is a creation i'm experiencing and it's not truly what i am, but my mind can't really express itself and know things that haven't been experienced by this person. i can imagine scenarios and being someone different ofc but at the end of the day my mind always goes back to it's default old me. it only knows this personality and the memories from this person's life, and also ofc it's desires, fears etc.

im mentioning the mind because i kind of feel like it's the only tool i have. i learn about this and try to understand it with my mind, idk how to "be" anything else or to "know" myself to be something else without it.

sorry i hope this makes sense, welp i really hope i'm not annoying you

Hello!!!! Firstly, welcome ☀️🪷🫶 “🍓 Anon” (I quite like the idea of the naming thing you have going on, it’ll really help in future questions).

Alright so let’s do this. I really do appreciate that your able to ask this question I know how it can feel when it’s like, whoooo dooo I askkkk??? So good on you, and no your not annoying me, I do this because I love helping you guys and want this to be as easy as possible so if that means ask 100 questions then oh well 🤭🤭. (I do urge you to not just ask but also do)

So yes, inherently everything is broken down to “ “ or awareness, now where I think the disconnect comes is when (and I’ve done this myself allot in the past) you guys try to seperate awareness from the illusion as if it’s two seperate things, awarness is not an entity or person or magical being, it’s all there is. Awarness is the best word I can use to describe what “it” really is, so my apologies.

You asked “how do I know to be something different” well, let’s break it down. Perceiving and being has no attachment to knowing. If I said “ strawberry” you wouldn’t think “I have a knowing about a strawberry” but you’d just think about the strawberry, or better yet, perceive/be aware of a strawberry. And that’s it. The appearance of what apparently is (this world) is no different from what you are, it’s all the same exact thing. When I say you are awarness, yes, but so I everything else, everything “relies” on it(you) to exist. The realization of a thought or an idea or event, is the experience, is it being “real”. Without awarness there is absolutely nothing to experience.

Now I’m gonna tell you something really crazy……

Your already here, please stop thinking that “awarness” needs to be maintained or something, as if it’s some source of power that your not already. The idea of a journey of needing to search and find is the reason it exists. Realizing “I have to be aware” makes no sense really, if this god is all there is, what’s there to find? Everything that appears is what it (you) appears as. It’s really just you perceiving yourself as something different.

I will never tell you guys not to make it easier for yourself, affirming, visualizing, etc are just tools to help you refocus this limitless, everythingness to something specific to instantly appear as that thing, therefore the experience. You said you keep returning to “me” at the end of the day. But do you also realize that this persona of who the person is, is made up. Made up through effortlessly igniting stories that have shown to you as the experience. It’s not that there’s only this persona, that there’s only who you know right now, this is just a selected thought. Infinite, limitless, meaning anything. You state/claim it, and you ARE that instantly, not in the future, right now because there is only now. The mind in and of itself is also just like everything else, there, but and illusion. The mind doesn’t think thoughts, no one really makes thoughts happen except the realization of the thoughts themselves. A thought is also just “ “, the “3D” is also just “ “ nothing can escape because it is “ “. The clay can take 100 different forms but it’ll always just be clay, whatever I name it like “pot” “plate” “vase” is meaningless. It’ll always be clay. Everything will always be “ “ regardless of what forms it(you) take up. I would drop the “constraints” of the world because it’s just you. You think you’re never gonna get it? Guess what, there’s nothing to get, you just actively experienced “I’m never gonna get it”. Effortlessly. It’s like a bundle package. Everything that entails the idea or concept is what the experience is. So someone who thinks constantly about not seeing “movement” is going to experience everything that entails that. You make it true in less than an instant.

I really hope that made a little bit of sense because wooooo I’ve been really tired recently 😝😝🤭🤭 if you need more clarity, you can always ask more questions! 🪷😝🫶☀️🍓🍓🍓

[alpaca-clouds]

So, how far do we travel in BG3?

Okay, I recently went half down a rabbit-hole in regards to BG3. And that question is... actually not the one above, but another one: "How many people died in the Absolute Plot?" But to get to that, we need to have some idea how far the entire issue spread to begin with.

So, one of the first things we gotta ask is: How much territory was influenced by it?

Like, sure, we know that the nautilods kidnapped folks for tadpoling from a lot of different places (otherwise Gale would not be there), but the ground forces probably are not at the other cities - partly too, because we kinda would know if (as we do know partly what is happening in those cities right now through other lore). And my best approximation for that is actually the question of where we do travel in BG3.

Now, we can actually call out the maximum distance we can be from Baldur's Gate: 200 Miles. Why? Well, we meet the refugees from Elturel, who are travelling to Baldur's Gate. And given that Elturel is about 200 Miles form the Gate, and we hence have to be somewhere between Elturel and the Gate, that is the most distance.

I know, by the way, that some folks speculate about how much Gortash and his conspirators knew in advance on whether or not the fall of Elturel would happen. We cannot say for certain in one way or another - but at least the Fall of Elturel/Descent into Avernus did not happen because of the entire Absolute thingie, but was an unrelated event.

We also know one other thing about the travel route: We seemingly travel along the South shore of the Chionthar, given that our camps in the first two acts seem to be on the shore of the river and the river is in the north of the camp. Now, why are the tiefling refugees on the South side of the river, while Elturel is on the north? I don't fucking know! They just are.

No, the real issue I run into is the fucking mountains. You know how Rosymorn Monastery is in the mountains, right? Now please have a look at the map of the Chionthar valley above. Do you see any mountains anywhere? Sure, in BG1 you actually adventure in the mountains (the Cloud Peaks), but those are a good 200 miles to the South! I do not think anyone took that long way around. So what kind of mountains are we travelling through?

The other thing is of course the Shadow Curse. The Shadow Curse is this kind of thing that we run into issues with more often in terms of canon stories in the Forgotten Realms. Aka, the kind of place that make you go: "Wait, you are telling me that there is this large area of blighted, cursed lands about 100 Miles east of Baldur's Gate and has been for the last 100 years, and we have never even heard about that?" But yeah, if this was a normal DnD campaign I would just shrug and go: "Welp, this is the GM being creative." But of course given this is official material now, I do raise my eyebrow a little bit. (Also, again: Why do the tieflings travel at the southern shore? Why have they not stayed on the northern shore, to which the Shadowcurse seemingly does not extent?)

I would assume that the Shadow Curse is in the North of the Wood of the Sharp Teeth, given that it would make a whole lot of sense to me that this area where some druids were living before - and also there is a somewhat powerful nature spirit in the land.

One of the only hints at the starting location of the game we have is, that at some point it was meant to include Anga Vled, which is fairly close to Elturel (but also on the northern shore of the river). So, I am going to assume that our actual starting location is about the same distance from Baldur's Gate.

So, yeah. I am going to assume, we do travel about 200 Miles over the course of the game - give or take a bit.

But I have no fucking clue where the fuck the mountains the Rosymorn Monestary lies. Because over the course of the game we never are that far from the Chionthar - so we cannot be in the Cloud Peaks.

*sighs* Really, trying to analyse certain things in this game in regards to Forgotten Realms lore is a headache.

[ro-aming]

Confessions in The Valley, Stardew valley heart event scenarios :)

Hellooo this is a colleciton of fics of how the stardew valley bachelor/etts would confess to you after reahcing full hearts. I think there needs to be more stradew fics:>. The first 3 chapters are old that i wrote like 2 years ago but I'll write the rest after positng these! Lemme know what bachelor you wanna see next<3

(sorry idk know how to format text posts very well)

 What a long day jeez…

You'd just finished up another long day on the farm. You'd barely left the property all day. Too many fences to fix and crops to water, not to mention the amount of debris you had to clear. Damn, maybe that golden clock is worth it. You wiped the sweat from your brow as you walked down the stone path of town square. At least the sun setting has granted you some peace from the harsh summer heat. The pavement quickly turned to plush sand beneath your feet as you headed down from the mayor's front yard, your steps illuminated by the warm buzzing lamppost. Elliot makes good company on nights like these. Bright nights after tiring days and you could just sit and talk with him and Leah, or even willy, until exhaustion crashes over you like the waves surrounding the valley.

  “Hey Farmer!!” Leah spots you from around the corner of Elliot's house and greets you cheerily. She's definitely drunk, holding a bottle of wine you gifted her and chuckling a little too loud. She's a dear friend of yours, you feel truly lucky to be so welcomed in this town especially by such warm faces. Leah wastes no time wrapping you in a hug dragging you to the bench where Elliot sits, staring at you both with a gentle smile.

  “Evening Farmer,” Elliot gazes at you patting the open spot next to him allowing you and Leah to take a seat by his side. “Day treating you well I hope?”.

  “Hey Elliot!” You beam at him scooting close with Leah at your left and Elliot on your right. Leah passes the open bottle to you, offering you a drink. “My day has been well, tiring but I managed” you chuckle taking a swig of the bitter fruit wine. Letting the alcohol warm your throat and flush your skin. It's simple to be here with them. You all laugh and catch up talking about your weeks for a couple hours. Leah's eyes light up under their drunken haze as she describes in detail her newest sculpture. Neither you nor Elliot can avoid giggling at her when she stumbles over her words, she's easily excitable especially when drunk.

  “I haven't gotten much writing done this week,” Elliot interjects the smooth convo to share what's on his mind. “I don't really know why, but I feel…distracted I suppose. Normally writing is of the utmost importance in my mind. Though lately I haven't been able to think of much at all.” He stares at his feet with an embarrassed half smile. You peek at him quizzically wondering to yourself how much this has really been bothering him. Elliot takes his writing very seriously. It's like his life force and he's not easy on himself when success doesn't come to him.

 Leah snakes her hand behind your back to lay on Elliot's shoulder, gently patting the silk button up covering his skin. “Aw Elliot c'mon you don't need to be so down about that,” She leans forward and exchanges a quick glance with him. You can't quite see it but in a span of two seconds they seem to have an entire conversation with their eyes. Leah looks at him slightly questioning and Elliot nods softly. “You're probably tired man, you'll get back into the swing you know that, Right Farmer?” She throws you into the conversation making you lose your focus on their silent debate of facial expressions.

  “Y-yes of course, you're probably just burnt out Elliot. I mean you can't expect to have your creativity at 100 percent every day” You smile at him hoping to reassure his worries, it seems to work at least on the surface.

  “Welp!” Leah stands up suddenly stretching her back and arms. “I'm headed home for the night, I have an important call tomorrow I really shouldn't be hung over for '' Leah giggles to herself at her comment before patting your head. “Take care, you two G'night ''.

  “ Night Leah ” You and Elliot speak in unison as she saunters off, still cheery as ever. You hope she can get home without tripping in the dirt hehe. A silence falls over you two as you lean back with your palms on the hardwood, staring out at the sea. Bright lights decorate the blanket of night sky glaring off the ocean and casting a glow in your eyes. You can see Elliot staring at you from your peripheral. He does that a lot lately.

 While you're in the library together gathering books to share with Penny and the kids, or while you're picking pomegranates from your tree for him. You'll catch him staring at you silently, though the warmth in his eyes says quite a lot. You normally don't pay it mind, thinking of it as just your wishful thinking or fantastical mind being corrupted by a beautiful set of emerald eyes. Right now however…as you gaze out at the ocean you can't help the warmth pooling in your gut as he stares at you like you're the brightest star he's ever seen.

  “When you moved here, Farmer,” he breaks the silence suddenly, now fully facing you. “Were you scared? Or perhaps lonely?'' What a strange question you think as you giggle out loud leaning into his shoulder as laughter lights up your face. You couldn't help it, just such a brash question out of nowhere. “H-hey! Don't laugh jeez!” he blushes but laughs with you anyways. He doesn't embarrass easily, his pride keeps him quite sturdy.

  “Sorry it just…seems like such a silly question coming from you of all people '' You look up into his eyes as you're against his shoulder. It crosses your mind that you may be too close right now but you can't bring yourself to care

  “Why is that silly?’ He asks feigning offense while smiling at you

  “Elliot you gave up a lot more than I did coming out here” Your hand falls into his lap as you straighten up a bit “You know better than anyone that it takes a little bravery to get to what makes you happy. So of course I was scared but I didn't really have much to lose to begin with. Coming here was my only chance to make things right so even if I was scared it couldn't be worse than where I already was.” You peer back at the ocean reflecting, like the stars, on how you felt coming here the first time. Unlike Elliot who risked his previous way of life, you really did have nothing. You barely made enough money to pay rent and certainly did not meet many friendly faces in the city.

  “And as for loneliness…I was at first. I was nervous that such a small community wouldn't react well to outsiders and even still sometimes I wonder who really likes me.” You feel the air chill your skin and send shivers up your spine. Elliot takes notice and gently wraps his arm around your mid back. “But I have you don't I?” his eyes widened at your comment, only slightly. He stares down at you trying to detect the intent behind what you said. You watch his cheeks grow red and you don't think it's from the cold.

  A smirk paints itself across his face,  “Now look who's saying silly things.” He teases. Your face grows bright red and a wave of soberness suddenly crashes on you as you recoil from his touch, fixing your posture. He looks disappointed.

  “W-well c'mon you know what I meant!” you stutter over your words as butterflies fill your tummy. Your hand still sits in his lap and he's taken hold of it now stroking the back of your hand with his thumb as he looks away. His usual composed nature, it's completely broken down right now. That slightly arrogant tone in his voice that carries his confident words and elegant speech patterns…none of that is here anymore. Instead he holds your hand tight and refuses to meet your eyes and he's blushing. A ridiculously bright shade of red. “Elliot I- what's-?”

  “When i moved here,” He spoke again, squeaking out his words. “ I wasn't scared, or if I was , I didn't let myself feel it. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to turn against what everyone has pushed on me my whole life” his confidence was slowly seeping back into his words “That i needed to look for a real job, a real purpose. I should just find a wife and a good paying job and settle down. My family would constantly chastise me with that crap.” It felt unusual to hear him swear like that. You held his hand in yours tight as you watched a gloss come over his eyes as they watered.

  “I couldn't ever shake the feeling that I was meant to create something. That my purpose was to have my words mean something to someone.” He peers at you again as his hair falls around his face framing his intense expression. “But lately, I've been distracted by my feelings. The more I adjust to life here, the more I wish to seek out temporary fixes for my own bitter feelings. Joys like friendship and learned skills and…love” Your eyes widen slightly shocked before lowering again in slight disappointment. Is he in love with someone? Is that why he's so bothered lately?.

“I didn't want to let myself get too close to others. For some reason I felt like if I didn't do this alone, if I didn't become successful on my own, that all my work would be undermined again. Or that other people would be a distraction from what i was meant to be doing.” His hand slides from your palm to your forearm as he turns to fully face you. You're leaned against his chest staring up at his eyes that are illuminated by the stars. He's gazing at you now and your heart throbs. What is he saying? “But my friends…and you have shown me lately that, if I were to try to do this on my own, not only would I fail, I'd sink into a lonely misery. Despair would destroy me and I'd become exactly what everyone expected of me. I know every great poet let their tragedy be the map to their creations, but my inspiration to continue. My inspiration to create and to smile and to learn… ” His unused hands take a gentle hold of your chin and his palms warm your cheek. “...Is you .” 

  “I've always loved the way you speak” you whisper now, leaning closer into his warm touch. Your heart sparks like a candle and the chilled air around you both blows the flame, steady and warm you remain under his gaze.

  “I've always loved you.” his grip on your jaw tightens as he tugs you forward, pulling your lips onto his. He's soft and delicate. With how passionate and charismatic his words are normally, he's surprisingly demure in the way he holds onto you. Like he's scared to break you. His lips continue to move against yours and he tastes faintly of cherry wine and salt. Everything around you is brighter than the moon shining down on the valley. You reluctantly serrate looking upon his disheveled face with mirth in your eyes and a smile playing on your now, tingling lips. “I want you to be my muse, now and for as long as you'll have me” The sincerity in his confession leaves you trembling. It felt so romantic to have his words directed at you this way. Yet so raw to be sitting on the beach half drunk in the middle of the night like this.

  You can't stop the giggle from leaving your mouth. You feel so relieved to know you are the fruits of his passion and desire. “I love you too, Elliot'' His smile grows exponentially and you pull him close to you again, Kissing him once more and already you feel the fondness of familiarity start to bloom. The moon shines down on the valley as a breeze blows through the trees lining the path where the town meets the coast. Distantly stars twinkle down on the sea and jellyfish glow beneath its surface. There's a soft light all around you and a brighter one burning inside you as Elliot keeps his lips against yours.

You reckon you'll stay down on the beach tonight, with Elliot, for as long as hell have you.

<3

I hope you enjoyed this ones my favorite :)

[whoiwanttoday]

So I pre purchased tickets for Love Lies Bleeding for a few reasons. One, it's getting great reviews and has been since it first screened at SXSW. I already liked the idea of it but knowing it works is hugely exciting. If you don't know, Film Noir is one of my favorite genres and every November my friends and I do Noirvember which started a decade ago with them going, "Film Noir seems cool but I don't know anything about it". Well guys, I did know about it and it was about time to put that education to use so that first year I chose 5 movies that I felt would help demonstrate the characteristics of the genre and wrote essays about each one with what to look for and what identifying tropes of the genre were there. Since then I have put in far less effort but every year we try to grab some movies that are significant for various reasons to the genre. My point is, I love Noir and really appreciate French film critics for inventing it after the fact. So Love Lies Bleeding is not a Noir, it is a Neo-Noir but for obvious reasons it's a genre that always interests me for obvious reasons. It's a Neo-Noir because you can't make film Noir anymore, part of what makes it film noir is when it was made and that no one has ever set out to make a Noir, if you are you're making a Neo-Noir. But I love them, too, especially sun soaked ones. Thirdly, Kristen Stewart. First of all, I think she is a tremendous actress who just does great work and her projects just get more and more interesting. They don't always work but man, I want big swings rather than boring. There are so many safe movies I give higher ratings to than interesting failures but those safe, bland mediocre movies all fade into the background, I still think about the interesting failures. So I love that she tries cool projects and the truth is most of her work. She always works in them. But the thing is, when I heard she was doing this I just knew it was perfect. My favorite Noir figure is probably Humphrey Bogart. That's not an out there selection, the guy was undeniably cool. And I was like, yes, let Kristen Stewart be Humphrey Bogart. I think she could 100% pull off that. I mean, I don't think she is in this movie, she's playing a different kind of a mess than the cool character who keeps getting in over his head but when it comes to vibes of someone who can be my favorite sort of Noir protagonist it's her. Which is a long way of saying I have tickets to go see the movie and resisted posting Kristen yesterday cause my brain was like, "We'll post her after we see the movie". Welp, I didn't make it cause she has been all over the place and looking very good. So I caved and made it exactly one day. Today I want to fuck Kristen Stewart.