#(gonna keep tagging fic related posts i think)

[cocktailjjrs]

So......

Since I've been suffering with these angsty thoughts... i though i would invite you all suffer with me...

It's about Chuuya...

I was doing some research for my fic (mainly going through bsd novels, blogs, tags and all) and came across this one Insta post in passing (sorry, i don't remember the name).

It was about BSD's cycles.

First, cycle of abuse, going from Mori-Dazai-Aku-Kyouka

and Second of rescue, going from Natsume-Oda-Dazai-Atsushi-Kyouka.

And then they highlighted a third category, the one's who are not saved - including Chuuya, Aku and Q.

At that point i didn't think much about it, just another post while scrolling Insta.

But now it's keeps bothering me, a constant reminder, whenever i read something BSD.

And It's so heart wrenching.

It also hit me, Q and Aku can still be saved.

Q, while we don't exactly know where they are right now, there is a chance of them getting their own arc, backstory and then being saved.

Aku, while still in Mafia, his partnership with Atsushi is his saving grace already. He is making an effort to not kill, just for their deal/bet. By the end of it all, he will be in a better place than he is now.

But Chuuya. (Spoiler's for light novel's if you haven't read them)

I remember very clearly, when in Stormbringer (don't ask me why i remember this byheart), when Murase dies Chuuya says, "Hey Detective, Weren’t you gonna arrest me?! Weren’t you gonna bring me into the world of light"

Don't get me wrong, I still believe Chuuya belongs to Port Mafia, the darkness suits him better than light.

But that does not mean he never wanted to get out of that darkness. This one instance in SB was proof enough. Makes me wonder, if things had gone even slightly differently, would he be in a better place than he is now? Is there still a chance?

What's even more tragic is that after the whole SB thing, no one seemed stick around enough to help him fight his own demons.

And he definitely has MASSIVE DEMONS.

His whole life seems to be one catastrophe after another! Don't believe me?

His first group, whom he called friends, betrayed him. Classic stabbed by poisonous knife in the back.

Hardly a year later, his second friends group, Flags, was killed by an emotionally unstable man-child seeking validation, insisting on calling him brother.

He went through a horrid ordeal, having to learn he was a lab experiment, seeing your clone vaporise to nothing but bones in your own arms, having to fight those same bones. And as if this was not enough, then fighting the monstrosity of a singularity and in process loosing the only chance to determine your humanity. (Actually whole of SB is dreadful, i don't think it'll ever get worse than that - i really hope it doesn't)

Then, given by the timeline, another year later, his third group of friends was killed by Shibusawa.

And again a year later - his partner, who brought him in all this madness, just fucking leaves without a word. This is the least tragic thing that has happened to the boy, i swear.

And I'm sure it didn't end there.

There must have been so many things going on behind the scenes in those missing years, hell even after the series began, Chuuya has been out of scene because something or the other was going on.

Now you have Fyodor fucking shit up for no apparent reason. With this shitshow, many mafia men, some of whom Chuuya might have developed a relation, are definitely dead. Not to mention the mental gymnastics going to trying to at least be on the same fucking chapter as the two geniuses.

AND ALL OF THIS IS JUST IN THE CURRENT TIMELINE. Don't get me started on BEAST VERSE!!! (That's a can of worms I'm really not ready to open at this point)

The thing with Mentally strong individuals is, they have abnormally high emotional intelligence, they are unnaturally resilient, they can compartmentalize their grief, they empathise with great deal of people, think rationally at any given point and think of ways to make things better.

What many people fail to understand is that no one is born Mentally strong, it's the circumstances that make them as such.

It can happen even through small things.

No one being there for you to express your deepest fears. No one just listening to you, even if they have a solution to your problem. Or having seen other's nightmares come to reality and feeling your own are much smaller, or having made to fell that way.

It creates the mentality of never sharing your fears, your insecurities, your discomfort - because at the back of the mind you keep telling yourself - oh, this person has gone through so much more than i have, my fear is nothing compared to it. I can handle it on my own, they have their own problems to handle. Everyone is busy, i don't think they have time to listen to the same problem I've been facing for years now. I've manages so far, i think I can manager just fine.

You start to undervalue your own feelings and start to fell like you'll burden them. Start to feel like you NEED to handle it on your own.

Now, i don't want to go into a spiral of mental health, but when you look at Chuuya, you can't help but marvel at that kids Mental resolution.

His first action after being stabbed in back was to make a deal with a demon to make sure he doesn't harm them, because they are just kids.

His first reaction to being provoked into revenge was to say Fuck off to his manipulator, not falling for the temptation and doing what he felt right.

He even forgave the killer of his friends (And also the one who tried to kill him) for gods sake! Understanding what he was going through.

He even walked away after knowing his parents are alive (oh the irony) not wanting to put a target on them. (I'm actually on fence with this, the chances of it being a manipulation tactic from Mori is just as high as it being the truth)

He had tremendous mental fortitude.

But you still see the cracks in his emotional state,

He was desperate to know if he was human or not, inclining towards the later.

He didn't know, that your friends can do some nice things without expecting anything in return. They can go above and beyond your regular stuff just because they are your friends, there doesn't need to be of anything at stake in friendship.

Hell, there was a point he believed having a Heart was too sophisticated for him, that he can't be that human!

I can go hours and hours about this.

What i can say for sure is, he has demons in all sizes, shapes and forms, something that he has stuffed in his closet only to deal with them himself, not letting them see the light of the day.

i just don't see anyone actually being there for him long enough for him to trust them fully with his demons.

No, not even Dazai. Dazai himself was a walking cry for help, like hell Chuuya is adding to that pile. He may have found a constant in Dazai in three years, seeing as all other's met their end in one. I believe in those three years, somewhere Soukoku began to feel like his safe place, somewhere he didn't had to think about his demons only by the virtue of dealing with one made of flesh and bones. But then even Dazai left.

I don't think even Kouyou was there for most part. And considering her obsession with a flowers of dark with Kyouka, i think it pulled Chuuya more in her own tragedy. Afterall, she also was never saved.

Mori is there, but Mori is a Demon in his own rights. What we've seen is their interactions have been those of a boss and his close confidents, nothing personal or emotional. Which also makes sense when you think of Mori's theory of running an organization. Chuuya, all things considered, the most powerful member of PM and he is treated as such.

The other significant members of PM, the guerrilla squad, black lizards or Kajji - all of them may know him better than most, but he is still their executive. If a 15 and younger kid took the title of being a protector of his rag-tag group seriously, being a responsible and dependable executive comes with higher stakes. He will carry out his role as one, even if it's the last thing he does.

.

.

.

That was me rambling.

My point is, i wanna give Chuuya a big hug, tell him it's okay to fell tried sometimes. To let himself be vulnerable. That his fears are not invalid. That he is not invalid. That he isn't the problem, never was.

That he will still be valued and wanted, even if he one day looses his ability or he is no longer the strongest.

Can someone please save his boy?

[waywardsalt]

bellum x linebeck chapter summary drafts that won those polls:

chapter 8

chapter 14

chapter 20

[sankttealeaf]

blowing the dust off of my modern ruetash au... we are so back

(aka im hitting that wall again in writing the next lsdl chapter so now i need to make these guys be silly and kiss and cause scandals)

i am glad i have this silly outlet to let them be idiots. i think if i kept only to canon i would burn myself out

[sunattacksthemoon]

what other stories are you going to put in the series? is it just going to be princess bride and the other story?

(pls don’t answer if you don’t want to)

I’m sorry I am just answering this now, I put it in my drafts when I got it and completely forgot to answer this😭😭

Okay so for the series the only ones I’ve got planned are the princess bride and stardust. I’ve written a fuck ton for the princess bride au but the stardust au is in the works, I’m pretty much planning it and making an outline. Did y’all know that thinking of chapter names is the equivalent of stabbing yourself with a fork repeatedly😀. Pure torture, don’t recommend. However I’ve got other ideas for the series. Mainly aus but I’ve just thought of this cool one which plays into the whole bit where people make Sirius an artist. Idk if it’s gonna be like a university au, I’m thinking of not making it modern. But that’s gonna be later this year. I’ve got no news on the princess bride au. I’ve got chapters written and edited, like I could post them and whatnot but I’m beyond nervous about it. (im still on the fence about having someone beta for me, like it would help immensely but im kinda touchy with this fic plus I hate asking people I feel so annoying 😭😭) I’ve got to think of a name and name of chapters and then I will be able to post a couple chapters. No where near finished with this fic but I’ve gotten a lot of it done.

The stardust au is so fucking exciting tho and I’ve got so many plans with this fic and it’s soooo exciting. So far I’m assigning character roles and planning out how I want this whole thing to work out. And this fic is giving me an excuse to research a bunch of topics. I do know however I’m not going to include Walburga and Orion. I have no interest and honestly they don’t fit into the narrative. In all future fics I most likely will not include them, in some aus and fics Sirius will have a history with them but it will be past tense. BUT Im including Regulus as Sirius’s sibling, that will never change. But this fics going to be so much fun.

Just realized I didn’t really answer you’re question😬😬, so I’m thinking of the corpse bride actually, I think Emily is a Sirius variant and honestly Victor is so much like Remus in my head. But I’d make it wolfstar endgame cause duh. Other than that I’d like to explore y’know like those basic love story tropes. I need to make like a comprehensive list of all my favorite love stories. I’d also like to say that not every fic in this series will be longer, it will vary on time, the story, and how much I can do for that specific story. Those are the main four I guess. But thank you for asking!!! Sorry for the ramble, can you tell I love talking about this idea??

[marlenesluv]

Hiiiii beautiful. I an idea if you don't want to write it. that's okay. I have this imagine like charles dating an plusize (face claim : Javiera or courtney jean l just loves them ) but when they announced their relationship but she just getting a lot of hate but she just doesn't care about this hate but charles don't like this and release a statement to stop this hate. and again if you don't want to write it that's okay 💞💞

Hate doesn’t bother me. (CL)

hi, love!! and no no, i love this so much! charles is such a protective cutie, this is so sweet. i’m assuming this is a smau, if you want a fic as well, js lemme know! :) 💓

face claim: javiera

warnings: fans being mean, one fat shaming comment (dw, it’s shut down)

note: i have been fat shamed before, it’s not fun. so pls pls be kind to everyone. every single one of these beautiful humans on earth are amazing and sexc. don’t be a cunt.

masterlist here -> masterlist link

^ check my list for all posts! ^

liked by: yourbsf, charles_leclerc, and 325,828 others

y/n.user: panamá is perfect for dates, don’t ya think?

view comments…

user57: why tf did charles leclerc like this?

|> user04: he could js be friends with her? idk man

yourbsf: OKAYYYY YOU ATE BABE🤎🤎

|> y/n.user: AHHHHH ILY🤎

y/n.fp: you look stunningggg

*liked by creator*

charles.fans: isn’t charles in panama??

|> char.fp: hopefully not. she is not the vibe fr

|> charles.fans: ikr?? no way she’s with him

lilymhe: ☺️☺️ pretty pretty

|> y/n.user: that’s you🤭

user19: LILY?? oh naw, i don’t need THIS tdy

_______________________________________________

liked by: carlossainz55, y/n.user, and 915,176 others

charles_leclerc: panama is beautiful, but i can thing of something more beautiful…

view comments…

carlossainz55: hope you’re having fun this break! miss you!

|> charles_leclerc: miss you too, bro!!

user46: y/n liked this……

|> charles.fans: i knew this was gonna happen, ew

|> ferrari.fp: he is way out of her league bro….

f1updates: these comments are kinda dramatic but i live for drama

pierregasly: have fun😏

|> charles_leclerc: stop texting me.

|> pierregasly: wow. miss you too🖕

charles.editpage: he’s so hot

user10: i refuse to believe that he’s there with y/n, she’s j not pretty like his other ex’s were

_______________________________________________

liked by: charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 469,360 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

y/n.user: wtf is a soft launch?

view comments…

user56: that was bold….

|> user03: nah cuz who tf does she think she is?

charles.fans: byeee😭 this is NOT real

charles_leclerc: we don’t know what a soft launch is😋

|> y/n.user: nopeeee

char.myhub: NOOOOO. HER BUT NOT ME???

ferrari.fanpage: she’s so ugly what is going onnnn

|> y/n.fp: she’s not tho….

|> ferrari.fanpage: she is. she’s bigger than him

|> y/n.fp: ur actually mad bc she’s not a size 0? grow tf up fr. she’s literally a MODEL, and what are you bebe?

|> ferrari.fanpage: shes a PLUS SIZED model.

|> y/n.fp: what’s ur point? you are NOT a model😭you’re fr j mad cuz she bagged charles and you didn’t. grow up

carmenmmundt: you guys are so cute

*liked by creator*

_______________________________________________

twitter:

F1 Wag Updates @f1wagupdates • 3hr

Charles Leclerc, driver for Scuderia Ferrari, has officially announced his relationship with Model, Y/N Y/L/N. Y/N has always faced a certain level of hate for being a plus sized model, and with recent news relating Charles, it has only gotten worse.

We ask that you please keep rude comments to a minimum, preferably none. Keep insults to yourself, lets support Y/N and Charles. They seem like quite the happy couple.

*please note that comments on this tweet have been disabled, as we want no hate spreading through our comments*

*comments have been disabled*

_______________________________________________

liked by: charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, and 639,013 others

y/n.user: vacation is coming to a close :( but i can’t wait to see you shine this year on the track <3

view comments…

charles_leclerc: i can’t wait to have you dressed in head to toe ferrari gear :)

|> y/n.user: i can’t wait either, my love

user71: i genuinely can not accept this

charles.fanpage: shes so ugly, pls break uppppppp

carlossainz55: excited to have a new face in the paddock! can’t wait to meet :)

|> y/n.user: awe, i can’t wait to meet either! charles rly talked you up

|> carlossainz55: he did??

|> charles_leclerc: no…

user49: this is not real this is not real this is not real

yourbsf: stunner

|> y/n.user: i miss you

|> yourbsf: i miss you sm more

_______________________________________________

your instagram story:

seen by: charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 499,012 others

_______________________________________________

liked by: y/n.user, pierregasly, and 1,103,944 others

charles_leclerc: i don’t know what i did to gain such an angel in my life. someone who makes me smile from a simple text notification to seeing you when i wake up. i can not fathom the hate my girlfriend is receiving. you do not know her or me, don’t go around on social media like you do. i haven’t been this happy ever. don’t compare her to other people, dont belittle her, and do not leave rude comments. i am sick and tired. i love you, ma cherié. it’s a miracle that you can put up with me <3

*view comments*

*comments have been limited*

y/n.user: i love you so much. the hate doesn’t bother me as long as you’re here

|> charles_leclerc: i have no idea how nothing bothers you

_______________________________________________

(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)

[blackbird-brewster]

Meta: Jemily Queerbaiting

With the huge influx of posts saying 'Jemily is gonna be canon', I really appreciated seeing this post because OP was completely correct. I didn't want to write an entire dissertation as a reply, so I'm making my own post with my personal opinion on this. (All sources are noted in footnotes)

Before I began this rant, for anyone who thinks this is anti-Jemily. It is not. I have shipped Jemily for 18 friggin years and that's never going to change. This post is specifically my thoughts about queer baiting.

First off, I need to note that the showrunners (and the cast members who use social media) KNOW what a huge queer following this show has and that's why we got pansexual Tara Lewis in S16 [1]. Which, in itself, was SOOOOOOO important!!! Our first canonically queer main in SIXTEEN seasons was a middle-aged Black woman!!! That's phenomenal. (The fact it was horrible rep, because they instantly ruined her relationships once her queerness served it's plot point is a whole other post entirely)

In my opinion, the 'big Jemily moment' Paget posted about on Twitter [2] (and AJ hinted at during a recent IG live) is simply queerbaiting to get people to watch S17. I know a lot of you are newer to the fandom and I love your enthusiasm, I really do, ship and let ship, but listen, let's be real, Jemily is not going to be made canon. The showrunners aren't going to suddenly say (after 17 seasons) 'Surprise, Jemily is endgame'. This show has never cared about queer rep and now that CBS/Paramount have already ticked their queer rep box with Tara, they won't be in any rush to add any other characters to it.

Please buckle in, I've got a lot of thoughts on this matter --

What is Queerbaiting?

If you aren't aware of what queerbaiting is, here's a good definition:

Historically, queerbaiting has carried two meanings: the first is an act of aggressive heterosexuality to shut down queer subtext on screen while still teasing and catering to the queer audience in advertising, public relations, and fan engagement strategies; the second is an existing homoerotic tension between two characters played up on screen while met with derision by the professionals behind the scenes. [3]

The Medium article quoted here is from 2017, a time when parasocial relationships were really starting to take over social media. In 2024, actors are now only a mention or tag away online, they have direct conversations with fans, and this process has allowed for an even deeper form of queerbaiting.

Oftentimes online, actors are asked directly about certain ships and while some ignore these questions (usually to avoid breaking their contracts or other repercussions), others (looking at you, Paget) choose to instead tease fans about queer ships. She's done this for years upon years and if I've learned anything in the past twenty-years of existing in fandom spaces it's this -- don't hold your breath. In it's original meaning, for something to be deemed as queerbaiting there had to be malicious, or at least, purposeful intent to string queer fans along by teasing them with suggestive content about the ship in question, while knowing this ship will never come to fruition in canon.

The thing to remember is, Paget and AJ aren't the only ones who know about Jemily shippers -- the network and showrunners are well aware of this ship too. When networks/showrunners figure out they have a strong sapphic fanbase, they love to use that to their advantage to get more viewers and higher ratings. Queerbaiting is a goldmine to keep fans watching long running shows, look at Rizzoli and Isles, Supergirl, and OUAT for examples of this.

Jemily and Queerbaiting:

Ever since Emily joined the BAU in S2 (2006), there have always been fans who ship JJ/Emily (shoutout to the old LJ forums!). Way before celebs were just a tweet away from fans, back when all our fics began with disclaimers so we wouldn't get sued by networks, we went to great lengths to keep our fanworks far removed from actors/showrunners attention.

As far as Jemily goes, this reply from Paget in a 2009 interview with TVGuide.com [4] (which has now been deleted from their site unfortunately, but there are quotes on Tumblr still [4.a]) confirmed some fans' worst fear -- the actors had found our fanworks online.

TVGuide.com: Of course, a band of fans want her to hook up with Hotch.

Brewster: I know! I didn't realize that fans make these videos on YouTube? A.J. Cook sent me a hilarious one that made it look like Prentiss and J.J. were having a secret lesbian affair. You know, when Hotch was blown up in the SUV, we shot this scene where he's in the hospital and I'm standing next to him, looking at his bleeding ear. Our director came in and said, "Paget, you're looking at Hotch like you're in love with him. It looks really weird." So now, every day, Thomas [Gibson] and I flutter our eyelids at each other.

This was the first time I recall anyone acknowledging Jemily shippers publicly and at the time (Jan 2009), the show was still in Season Four (just before CBS fired both AJ and Paget [5]). Paget genuinely said it's 'hilarious' that fans shipped JJ/Emily. Even now, I'll see people say 'We know Paget and AJ have seen Jemily fanvids, so they obviously ship it too' -- but those same people rarely acknowledge the full context of the original answer. Paget not only thought JJ/Emily were 'hilarious', but then she doubled down and turned her reply back to how she and Thomas liked to play up the chemistry between Emily/Hotch.

While no one can say for sure which video it was that AJ sent Paget, just knowing they were watching JJ/Emily fanvids sent a bit of a shockwave through the femslash side of the fandom. To some it felt like an invasion of privacy, fanworks are by fans for fans -- knowing the cast were poking around in fandom spaces added an extra layer of worry around what we fans were posting online. Fifteen years ago, it used to be quite taboo for actors to outwardly discuss shipping or other fanon for whatever show they were in, and we fans were usually comfortably removed from the actors altogether.

Of course, now it's the norm for fans and actors/showrunners to co-exist online and interact with one another. This connection has opened new ways for shows to queerbait their fans. Pretty much every show has some form of social media account now and there is no doubt that the people running those accounts keep up with the most popular ships and hashtags. Not to mention that actors are constantly barraged with questions about whether they ship their character with x,y,z, or whether they think a ship should be made canon, etc. These interactions only serve to benefit the shows themselves, because whether the conversation is for or against a certain ship, it's all just free publicity (Why do you think CM now has a TikTok account?)

Every time AJ or Paget say anything about Jemily, the queer side of the fandom loses their minds. But this has been going on for YEARS now and every single time, it turns out to be nothing but social media hype and queerbaiting. Remember this AJ post? [6] Or what about the notorious reply by Paget to a fan, where she talks about how she and AJ held hands under the table 'for the shippers' [7] I've seen this cycle over and over again, so perhaps I am cynical, but I'm not getting my hopes up that Jemily will ever seriously be canon.

It's widely known now, after both Kirsten [8] and Paget [9] have talked about it, that there was an early idea where Prentiss was supposed to be queer, but that was ultimately scraped before it ever made it on screen. For context, please remember, this show has been airing for nearly twenty years. It began in 2005, during the highly conservative Bush administration. Queer people didn't have rights in the US, we couldn't get married, we were rarely protected under discrimination laws, and we could even be fired for simply being queer (in some states). Diverse queer representation on screen was extremely limited to things like 'The L Word' and 'Queer as Folk' (both aired on Showtime, so they were behind a paywall. And as far as tLw goes, that show was extremely male-gaze focused and is horrible in nearly all regards if you try to rewatch it now). As far as prime time shows went, queer rep was even more rare. Which is why Emily wasn't queer from the get-go.

Yes, things have changed since 2006 in terms of queer rep on TV. We have a myriad of queer identities represented in TV and film nowadays, which is why I think it's so easy for newer fans to say 'lf she was supposed to be gay anyway, they should just make Emily queer in canon!' I know this is what fuels most fans' demands for Emily being confirmed queer, and I get it, I DO. I would be all for it! However, I do not, in one hundred years, actually believe that is going to happen after they already canonically queer confirmed Tara in S16. The fact we even got ONE queer character is ground-breaking for this show.

It's also worth noting, that in the time between Paget's departure in 2012 and her return in 2016, she became very active on Twitter. This was when more and more fans began asking her about Jemily and after Kirsten's AfterEllen interview, fans also pushed for Paget to address the possibility of Emily being gay. 'Pushed' is actually an understatement for some of the outright harassment she would receive. (AJ received some of this harassment too, but less so because she doesn't use social media ass often) Back then, neither of them replied to these things directly. Yet, no matter what either woman posted, the replies were full of Jemily stans begging for her acknowledgement. (Did you know 'stan' is literally a term coined for stalker fans?) I remember one time AJ's friend was missing and she posted info on her IG about it, you know what the replies were? People asking her about Jemily. It was genuinely sickening.

Within this context, it was no surprise to fans when Emily came back in S12 , she and JJ's friendship was seemingly erased. The two women were rarely on screen together in the late seasons, plus the writers saw fit to even give Emily not only one (Mark in London, but two, on-screen boyfriends for the first time in the entire series. I personally do not think these changes to Emily's character were coincidence, I saw the hellscape of what people would say to AJ and Paget online and I fully believe that upon Paget's return to the show, the showrunners purposely tried to distance JJ and Emily to dissuade the more abusive side of the fanbase.

Can I prove that, no. But it is the only reason I can think of as to why Emily S12+ seemingly didn't care about JJ anymore, despite their deep and meaningful friendship. I mean, they both CROSSED THE WORLD to go rescue each other in prior canon -- but when Emily comes back, they acted like they barely knew each other. This was even more prevalent in S16, when JJ's main storylines all revolved around Will, and Emily barely looked at JJ in the entirety of ten episodes. (Remember how Prentiss didn't even hug JJ after bomb, but she did go hug Luke?)

So, do Paget and AJ earnestly ship Jemily, or are they continuing the long tradition of queerbaiting us? Who fucking knows, not me. But based on the history of this fandom, I think I can make a safe bet. (Interestingly, if you search all of Paget's twitter for the word 'Jemily' [10] she only has 3 direct tweets mentioning the ship. I don't think it's a coincidence that two are within the past few months since they started filming S17 (the other one was a RT of Kirsten (who tagged something Jemily)

This is all to say --

Just because Paget and AJ have publicly talked about Jemily,, this doesn't mean it's ever going to happen on screen. And you know what, THAT'S OKAY!! There has been this constant outcry (after Tara became queer confirmed) of 'Do Emily next' or 'Why wasn't it Emily with a girlfriend!?' and 'Jemily needs to be canon in S17!' -- as if people believe their ships aren't worth anything unless they are canon.

That couldn't be further from the truth! Fandom is built on headcanons and fan interpretations and rare pairs and all types of shippers. Your ship does NOT need to be canon for you to enjoy it. I will ship Jemily forever, no matter what. I don't think there will be some magical queer plot in S17, at best, we might actually get to see Emily/JJ on screen together again and after the train wreck that was S16 -- I'll take whatever I can get.

And hey -- if I am completely wrong, if Erica Messer pulls a Korrasami out of her hat, I will be ecstatic. I will be happy to be proved wrong, but at the same time, I'm not going to lose sleep over it and I'm DEFINITELY not going to go hound the actors about it on social media.

Sources:

[1] 2022 Digital Spy article about the importance of Tara's coming out

[2] 04/18/24 Paget Tweet

[3] 2017 Queerbaiting article from medium.com

[4] 2009 Broken TVGuide link

[4.a] Tumblr quote from the above TVGuide Interview

[5] 2010 Kirsten interview screenrant.com

[6] 2019 AJ Instagram Post

[7] 2020 Paget video on Twitter (via @karasluthqr)

[8] 2015 Kirsten interview AfterEllen.com

[9] 2016 Paget Interview CriminalMindsFans.com

[10] @PagetPaget search 'Jemily'

[ghostoffuturespast]

WIP Whenever

*takes a deep breath* Tagged by @streetkid-named-desire @wanderingaldecaldo (you two I think at least twice lol) @seeker-of-truth

@baublekute @scarlettspectra @aggravateddurian. Thank you all very much for thinking of me! 🧡

Tag backs for everyone above 😘 and @luvwich @merge-conflict @shimmer-like-agirl @mynonsenseistingling

@fly-amanitaa @dani-the-goblin @tarmac-rat @lavnderkiwi @morganlefaye79

Cash your tag in now or later and feel free to do whatever creative projects you're working on! Doesn't even have to be fandom related.

It's been a minute. This one got long.

I largely haven't been doing any fandom stuff other than VP because my work schedule has been insane the past two months. And the only reason I have VP to post is because I'm generous about snapping pics and the vast majority of photos y'all are seeing are ones I took back in March/April/May.

Things at work are starting to be slightly less hectic though, so hopefully I can get back into the swing of things. I'm trying to be gentle with myself about the time and energy I do have but it's been frustrating wanting to do things and not having the beans to do them. Spending most of my workdays outside for extended periods of time means I'm bone tired when I get home. And then I have more work to do outside...

Gardening

My garden is gonna be very scraggly looking for the rest of the year, but if I can keep it alive, in theory, the plants should come back bigger and bolder next year. Shortgrass prairie plants spend the bulk of their first few growing seasons establishing their root systems since water is often in short supply, so the tops of the plants are very unimpressive rn. Most of them probably won't get much bigger than this or even flower this year.

I've gotten a good chunk of the plants in the ground, have irrigation lines going to all of them, and did the lil concrete paver patio. I still need to finish planting the plants that have been languishing in their pots for over a month, bury the irrigation lines, and do a bunch of other random things, but we're getting there. Not planning on covering the bare dirt with mulch because I'm doing fall and spring seeding and I want the plants to self-sow. Going for wild pocket prairie and I'm gonna let it go absolutely feral. I'd eventually like to get rid of the river rocks too but baby steps.

What's really funny is all my native plants seem to be doing reasonable well. My vegetable garden on the other hand... It's sad. I know where I fucked up though (I should not have done that soil experiment lol and attack of the cutworm catepillars), so I'll just have to cut my loses this year and reevaluate for next. The worm composter is doing good though 🪱

Drawing

Attempting to get back into drawing. Again, it's been slow. Have been doodling some mutual's CP2077 OCs when I have the time and still have a ways to get through my list. I'm surprised by how much fan art of Grandpa I've received so I figured I'd return the favor for some folks. It's always a pleasant surprise getting some lovely art in your inbox. Probably won't be coloring most of these from here on out. I have a love hate relationship with coloring. Sorry, I just find lines more interesting. All of these were done with dip pen, ink, and watercolor.

I've got another more formal piece I need to work on as well and get done by the end of the month. Keep forgetting to do the layout sketches...

Writing

The slowest of them all. Been working on the same damn short fic (No. 1 of Les Preludes) and then brainstorming for about fifty other projects that are waiting their turn in line. Plus, I'm still trying to read too. But when I can only manage a chapter of a fic about every two weeks...

Most of my writing efforts have been bopping into my drafts now and then and pecking out a sentence or two. However, I did manage to spend 45 minutes detangling a section of about 200 words 🐢:

Have you or a loved one been in an accident or injured on the job?  Are you missing your former quality of life?  Holed up in the bathroom, Robert winced at his reflection in the mirror and at the crusted blood he picked at underneath his nostrils.  Then consider Arasaka Cybernetic Implants!  Fully functional prostheses are capable of replicating the full range of human motion and more!  Available in a range of sizes and styles to suit all your lifestyle needs.  The body of the future is NOW. The corners of his mouth tugged on a bruised eye and what former experience had taught him was a broken nose. Call 1-800-IMPLANT today for a free consultation! Low-interest financing and payment plans available. A rapid fire of unintelligible fine print was drowned out by the sputter of the faucet. Robert cupped his hands and scrubbed at his face, the pain disappearing for the briefest moments with the black of shut eyes and splashes of cold water.      Arasaka Corporation.  What can we do for you? Dry flecks of red decorated the sides of the sink before rehydrating into inky swirls of blood that slipped down the sides of imitation porcelain. Yellowed, cracked, and starting to chip. The plastic hadn’t aged well.

This snippet gives me the hardest war flashbacks to those late 90s/early 00s TV phone ads. Anyone else old enough to remember these things?

[linddzz]

Dreamling Nonsense Masterpost

Looking for a fic? For a shit post? For a long winded au thread? Playlists? Got it here. Keeping it Dreamling for now until I really have the time to scour through my various fandom posts to collect the Big Hits.

Audacity in Human Form: E. main WIP. A post season 1 "let's see these two figure their shit out" exploration that's best described as two character studies stacked inside of a fanfic shaped coat. My main tagline for it is "it isn't unrequited, Dream just needs therapy." The fic exploring how the two weirdos I have in my head got together.

Fics/Tumblr Ficlets

"Audacity in Human Form" Series

Not exactly a structured chronological series. I have a pretty set version of my Dream and Hob in the canon!universe, so all the fics I write of them are just the same two dolls I'm bumping together in the same sandbox. They can be read in any order or separately, but there are characterization threads and things mentioned that tie them all together. I like to think that put together they can give fun context or more depth to each other :)

I'm less into Big Plots and more into just having fun bumping these dolls together and playing with how they interact!

It's a WIP and I write slow, as my job takes a lot of mental bandwidth.

(Other fics in the same series can be read even while the first isn't done! They don't really spoil much except for the fact that they do end up together. But of course they are.)

In Which Hob, a Shitty Wizard, Meets a Supposed Demon: Gen. Drabble ficlet on Tumblr as I start exploring my Shit-wizard Hob AU. More of a rough draft concept fic

Obviously: E. smut prompt fill one-shot. PWP. Dream is a needy eldritch pissbaby and also violently romantic. Hob scruffs him for some much needed gentle domming.

This Isn't the Trope: Teen. Lots of cussing. Johanna is agressively investigating an immortal man, Hob is looking forward to being dramatically rescued by his hot supernatural boyfriend. No one but Morpheus has a good time.

OTHER FICS/DRABBLES

Audacity in Human Form related posts (esp the ones that broke containment)

"Oysters have nightmares like this"

"Jokes on you, you're into that shit"

Hob: "no. Shut up. I'm talking now."

Characterization Notes aka: I'm gonna start bullying Morpheus

Other mutterings about writing or snippets are under the tags "#my fic" and "#audacity in human form"

AU Cooking:

I'm honestly better at coming up with every single detail for an AU without actually writing the fic, but I like playing in the sandbox and other people seem to have fun with them too :)

Human!AU. There are kinda two versions of this that I'm starting to meld together.

Red Flags AU post: Hob is hired to be the party ruining messy boyfriend, but cannot begin to compete with the insanity that is the Endless family and the Hot Mess Express Morpheus, who hired him. They fall in love instantly. "Why would I fix him??? He's perfect."

Red Flags AU 2: slight deviation from the OG where everything is the same, except Morpheus' messy friend Johanna accidentally introduces them and instantly regrets it. She did not anticipate Hob reacting to Morpheus' red flags like a charging bull.

Assorted Human!Morpheus facts

Shit-wizard Hob AU: where Hob is still immortal, except Death is his Endless buddy. He first meets Morpheus when trying to take up occultism at Fawney Rig (he's bad at it but is gonna stick around now. For reasons.)

Meta-ish Shitposting:

Hob meets Thessaly. Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" starts playing ominously in the distance when she doesn't appreciate how much of a needy clingy freak Morpheus is.

#1

#2

#3

Spotify Playlists:

I process Blorbo feelings with hyper specific playlists. Putting Dreamling and other fandom ones here bc I guess it's about time I share more of them

Audacity in Human Form PL: 1h33m fic specific. Set up to alternate Dream/Hob POV. Blatant "2012 fandom brain" indulgence in here.

Hot Mess Endless Express: 1hr45m the general Dream playlist. Not ship specific, all romantic songs are how I just see him in any relationship. Mostly serious, except when it isn't but especially when it isnt

The Devil of Fawney Rig: the playlist I imagine goes in Dreams head when he's stuck in a fishbowl and horny for revenge. Made with the shit-wizard Hob AU in mind

Newton Goes Kaiju All Over Everybody's Ass: 1hr it really is too bad that there was never a second Pacific Rim movie but wow isn't Dark!Geiszler a great concept? 🙃

EDDIE I MADE A PLAYLIST EDDIE: 44m Venom made a playlist for Eddie, isn't that nice?

Mountain Son: 1h30m Bagginshield Thorin feelings ahoy. Made with Mahrâna in mind.

The Bacchae: 1h. The soundtrack for the dream production of the Bacchae in my head. Meant to follow the progression of the play

The Huntress and the Maenad: 1h30m insane sapphic bitch in the woods solidarity

Mysteries: 7+hours!!!!!! The ongoing playlist for joining the cult of Dionysus and eating a billionaire in the woods

[alliepretends]

been thinking about your post on aromanticism and fandom with riz, and before i say anything else, i want you to know that I 100% agree with you. my primary interaction with fandom is through ao3 and fanfiction, and the heavy focus on shipping and romance has shaped what fandoms i choose to actively read fanfiction for: because I do not want to read romance heavy stories, I'll interact with fandoms/fanfic on a much higher level for fandoms that contain a large amount of gen works, regardless of how much i enjoy the source content in comparison.

within d20 fanfic, out of the 1167 fics with the Riz Gukgak character tag, only 89 of those fics have the aromantic asexual Riz Gukgak tag, and within the 95 fics total that have the aroace Riz tag (apparently there are fics with the aroace riz tag without tagging him as a character?), 18 of those 95 fics are tagged with Riz/Fabian, but only 12 are tagged Riz Gukgak-centric. In d20 fic overall, Riz/Fabian currently comes in as the most written relationship, with 365 fics. The highest written platonic relationship is Adaine & Aelwyn, who are sisters. As someone who personally, also does not like fabriz, queerplatonic or otherwise, and primarily enjoys reading about platonic relationships, this is, not gonna lie, disappointing to me.

However, like you said, it IS incredibly important for the aroace people who DO want to have/see qprs represented to get that! I want them to have it, and im incredibly happy for them that they do! yes, it's not something that i would enjoy, (it just doesn't align with my interpretations of either character) but like you said, a lot of aroace people find qprs to be an integral part of their experience, and seeing stuff get represented is so, so important!

this brings me to my actual point: you talk about how fandom falling in with your (and mine, i agree. you've encapsulated how i feel about riz.) point of view, this would end up alienating other aroace people who don't share the same view, or experience in their identities, and I don't want that either! The thing is, to me at least, that's just not how fandom works! Yes, in canon, if they confirm riz to be aroace (please please please please please) they will end up giving him one singular experience. it's impossible for him to represent all the wide and varied and wonderful ways for him to be aroace in canon, but that's what's beautiful about fandom for me! The metaphor you used for fandom was fighting over a bone, and while I definitely understand why you feel that way, to me, I cannot see it the same way at ALL. For every single individual person who watches fantasy high, there will be a completely different interpretation of each and every character, and all of them will be true. The thing is, when we're talking about Riz as an aroace character, well, there are not a lot of aroace people just in general, and fewer of those aroace people are going to have the same point of view, and there will be less fan-created content centered around this part of his identity as a result.

The solution, because there is one! is not to fight over the bone, or give up the bone, or keep the bone for ourselves, because there is no one bone. The beautiful thing about fandom, when the character passes from the creators hands into ours, is that there are infinite ways to interpret the character, all of them true, and when you don't see enough representation of the interpretation you have, the solution is to take YOUR interpretation and share it with the world. Write fics! Write massive text posts! Encourage and lift up the people who create things you DO relate to! Share what this character is to you and what you want him to be, and while it may not be a large percentage of people, you will find people who feel/have felt the same way you have. You're already doing it. You did, after all, reach me. I guess my point is, be the change you want to see in the world?

I understand that your whole point was about how fandom is so heavily romance focused and how that's frustrating, and maybe this isn't what you want to hear, maybe you just wanted to have a nice little complain (complaining and sharing your frustrations is good for the soul) and that's totally okay. I'm simply an optimist, and you seemed kind of doomy about it, so I just wanted to let you know that there is hope, and community, and people who feel the same way that you do, and hey, maybe if we work together we can create small pockets of fandom that can give you and everyone who feels the same way the aro rep they want to see in the world.

(I am so sorry for how long this got. um. sorry. thank you for putting up with me, I hope you have a wonderful day!)

It's lovely that you have such an optimistic perspective on this. And I hear you about wanting fandom to be a place that has space for a multitude of interpretations, but I think you're kind of missing my point. This goes beyond what you're saying, but it's something I get frustrated about in every fandom I've been in. There's a tendency for fans to want to ignore that fandom is a culture. That fan behaviors are shaped as much by cultural trends within fandom as by the desires of individual fans. Those cultural trends can be really harmful. But because fans often tend to treat fandom as a space outside of culture, and tend to act as if each individual character/ship/fandom is only made up of people having a personal engagement with the text, it becomes very difficult to address the problems that are deeply rooted within fandom culture. And those problems in fandom culture are reflective of the broader cultures of which fandom is a subculture, but they are also built, exchanged, and cultivated in a unique way within the subculture. That's how oppression works, relatively few people are actively trying to hurt others, but people all want to see their actions as independent from a larger cultural context so they don't have to worry about how they might be contributing to a culture that hurts people. It's why fandom, a space historically made up primarily of women, spent a very long time shielding itself from any accusations of sexism (which ran and continues to run rampant in fandom - as seen in everything from how female characters are treated to how m/m ships are forced into heteronormative tropes) by pointing to the failures of the source material. Despite the same problems occurring across the majority of fandoms regardless of the source material. And despite the justification not really holding up when one examined how many one-dimensional male characters fandom was happy to flesh out. I'm not a POC and I don't want to speak for POC but I've read enough critiques of fandom by people of color to know that racism (of all kinds) is an equally rampant problem in fandom.

And this issue of fandom as culture was what I'm talking about with Riz. The discourse over Riz's aromanticism frequently gets heated on this website. And I wanted to make a post exploring why that is. Because while discourse about any aspect of fandom can get heated (we're all emotionally invested here), I felt a particular weight of baggage in this discourse that I thought was worth attempting to bring to the forefront. There is a culture of romance-centrism in fandom. There is a culture of devaluing friendship (found family is great, but in my opinion, it has also become a way of talking around the devaluation of friendship in fandom spaces). There is a culture of characters only getting fic or analysis written about them if it fits into the context of romance or into a romance-dependant context of family. And so the baggage that I was trying to draw attention to with my post is that cultural baggage. Someone shipping fabriz may feel unfairly attacked by the desire of many people to keep romance away from Riz ("it's just a ship," "it's just me projecting on to the character," "it's just fandom, we're all supposed to have fun here.") And I wanted to point out the cultural hostility toward aromanticism in fandom spaces that makes viewing Fabriz that way impossible for someone whose spent any time observing and struggling with the broader culture of fandom. My metaphor about being thrown a bone was more an acknowledgment that being aromantic in fandom is always hard and that our options are limited trying to address this cultural problem by just talking about one character does leave a lot of people out. But this is the problem we have and the character we've got.

You're right that I was kind of doomy and gloomy about it. I'm not a person who likes to put myself out there in fandom. I'm fundamentally a lurker. This blog originally existed as a practice in positivity and contributing my own ideas. But after I left the fandom I started it for, I didn't come back to it. And it took me feeling mad about something for me to be motivated enough to post again. I already kind of regret it. But my intention wasn't just to have a good complain. My intention was to make the case that this particular discourse has a deeper cultural weight within the subculture of fandom. One that, if not considered properly, can easily allow people to shrug off their own role in building that culture. And it's a culture that is actively harmful for people who live romance-free lives (whether they are aromantic or not). I don't need there to be less romance in fandom. I just need there to be more space for characters like Riz to be allowed not to engage in it at all and still be considered worthy of fan attention.

Anyway, this is preachier than I like to be. I do appreciate that you are trying to bring optimism and empathy to fandom. But I also hate to be misunderstood. So I hope this clears up my point for you.

[aceghosts]

WIP Music Monday

Hey everybody!!! I was tagged by @cloudofbutterflies92, @voidika, and @simplegenius042 to share the music that has been inspiring my wips. Thank you for tagging me!

Tagging (Opt In/Out): @bbrocklesnar, @marivenah, @alexxmason, @captmactavish, @amalkavian, @carlosoliveiraa, @clicheantagonist, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @nightbloodbix, @theelderhazelnut, @direwombat, @captastra, @cassietrn, @strangefable, @katsigian, @inafieldofdaisies, @onehornedbeast and anyone else who wants to do this!

Too Close/Too Late is the one song I have on repeat while working on Rooney's first real conversation with Yorinobu and the fic about their family in their CP2077 universe. It's also one of the songs I've started to closely associate with Rooney, appearing on both their character and ship playlist. To me, this songs represents the dilemma that Rooney faces after their death and subsequent revival. Can you go back to who you used to be? Can you be that same person? Or are you now someone else? And if you keep trying to go back, keep dwelling on the past, are you doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over? (Also sorry, I'm just gonna post the whole song lyrics since they fit.)

I feel alive again Started with the fear of falling Into an hourglass Voices in the void are calling Wrap me in your arms Waterfalls, endless as they drag me down into the dark Of it all, can your heaven help me? Is this the end or is this the beginning? There are stranger things I've learned on the outside Separated by an open door I find it hard to reach the end of my timeline Salivating 'cause I wanted more Is this the end or is this the beginning? Am I allowed again To call out what I need to hear? To be a conduit Conditioned by the fear of fear? Wrap me in your arms (Waterfalls, endless as they drag me) Down into the dark (Of it all, can your heaven help me?) Is this what you want me to be? Perfect and clean Float on a temporary Empire built in a day To throw it away And now I can tell you, there are Stranger things I've learned on the outside Separated by an open door I find it hard to reach the end of my timeline Salivating 'cause I wanted more Is this the end or is this the beginning? I know where I wanna go But it's too close And it's too late this time I know where I wanna go But it's too close And it's too late this time There are stranger things I've learned on the outside Separated by an open door I find it hard to reach the end of my timeline Salivating 'cause I wanted more Is this the end or is this the beginning? Ooh-ooh, is this the end or is this the beginning? Ooh-ooh, is this the end or is this the beginning?

While I've been taking a break from the heavier stuff, I've also been working on some oneshots for Rooney and Yorinobu. This one takes place a few weeks after Rooney and Yorinobu meet each other again, and they've taken the relic case to protect V. Despite the distance between the two, Rooney and Yorinobu still deeply care for each other and this oneshot is a reflection of that.

Your soul is the fuel to my insanity There's no one who can do what you do to me 'Cause you'll be by my side when they turn of the lights And a thousand eyes close and call it a night Our lives burn bright Before your eyes Our lives burn bright Before your eyes When the winds bring me along From the place that I call home I want you to know, wherever I go I'll be forever yours When the lights begin to fade You will always keep me awake I want you to know, wherever I go I'll be forever yours

Again, another song related to a oneshot of a spicier nature. This is more of a vibe-based pick, but I think the following lyrics feel apt:

We feel so good, it's almost frightening Let's try again I don't deserve you, you're a diamond Meet me there where it never closes Meet me there where it's never hopeless All is fair in love, oh-oh-oh-oh Honey, are you coming?

[sassyandclassy94]

10 Questions for 10 Writers

Thank you SO much for the tag, @coneygoil !! You have no idea how much I love being included in these things🫶🏻

1. Is writing a hobby or a way of life?

Sadly, it’s just a hobby. My life’s kinda too busy to make it a lifestyle

2. A journal full of notes, or a clean completed manuscript?

A clean completed manuscript, thank you very much. Which is pretty ironic, given I’m a pretty chaotic woman.

3. Who (or what) is your writing inspiration?

SwanFire and ThePhoenixFeatherQuill. I went through a Once Upon a Time phase became a huge SwanFire shipper after my first rewatch and one night while I was lying in bed, I looked up SwanFire fanfics. The Phoenix’s masterlist was like, the first or second search result? So I clicked on it when lo and behold! The Spinner’s Son captured my interest. I clicked on it and fell in love. I looked for other medieval AUs but couldn’t find any so naturally, after seeing posts about writing what you went to read, I decided to try my own hand at writing one.

4. Which is worse: Someone you ‘idolize’ reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

Well… I’m not a singer (I sing WITH people sometimes) so, definitely having someone I look up to read my first draft. I remember when Red (an awesome writer who I also look up to and tumblr friend - check out his Into the Woods, it’s amazing!!) told me he checked out Secrets, Lies and Blessings after we met and started interacting during covid. I was mortified and wanted to crawl into a hole.

5. Has writing from someone else’s POV changed your perspective?

Um, maybe….? I delved into OC stuff this year and wrote a fic about Gale Cleven. Two people with totally different personalities and characterization than Baelfire and Emma so, I guess yes? Maybe it didn’t change my perspective but it’s helped me grow as a writer maybe? I don’t know, maybe I don’t understand this question…?

6. Tumblr, AO3, LiveJournal, or FFN?

AO3 and FFN by far!! They’re my favorites and go-tos. I started out on those babies! I think FFN is slowly dying though😔

7. AO3 word count? And are you satisfied with it?

105,744 - No, I wish it was higher. If it was it’d mean I’m more prolific.

8. What movie/book gripped you irrevocably?

Once Upon a Time started my writing hobby. I needed Neal to be happy and I was gonna write that, darn it! But with running out of ideas, writing SwanFire for 6 years straight, and going through a kind of heartbreak, I got really burnt out and kinda stopped for a while. It was The Boys in the Boat and Masters of the Air that inspired me to start writing again❤️ Don and Gale, man! They have a hold on me!!

9. What’s the highest compliment you could ever be given, and have you been given it?

That my writing is better than I give it credit for. And yes, Red told me that four years ago. He said it more articulate than that though (former English teacher and all, lol!) and him saying that made me feel a little more confident in my writing. I’ve gotten some pretty nice compliments about keeping my characters’ personalities true to canon and that’s pretty high praise too because I go real out of my way to do that.

10. What defines your writing style?

I… don’t even know? Even though most of my stories are romance, there’s also a heavy emphasis on friendship because a good old fashioned friendship is important to me (e.g. Emma and Eleanor). Theyre also very emotional. Whether it’s someone falling in love, preparing for parenthood, or suffering from PTSD, I want my readers to feel what he/she is going through and to be able to relate to them on a personal and intimate level.

Tags: Not me racking my brain to think of all the writers who follow and/or engage with me, and/or are in my notes🤕 @phoenixwrites @ljf613 @solo-pitstop-vibes @okieedokes @swanfireprincessmydear @fictional-at-heart @redbone135 @heatherfield @strangethings-everywhere @plasmabluefire @themeepyfreak And whatever other writer sees this and wants to participate, please consider yourself tagged! You can even say I tagged you. I want you all, especially new writers, to be included🫶🏻 No cliques in SassyAndClassy’s house!!! Oh my gosh is that ten??? DID I DO IT???? We won’t talk about how long that took me to come up with all of you🥴 I hope none of you will be annoyed that I tagged you🫣

[baronessblixen]

Hi! Big fan here😊! If you're still taking prompts: Mulder being obviously jealous with Scully and Sheriff Hartwell in Bad Blood, thank you!😊

Thank you, sweet anon! Here it is. A post-ep for "Bad Blood" obviously. A jealous Mulder, an attempt at humor and the hint of angst may be found here. (wc: 1,349)

Tagging @today-in-fic @xffictober2023

Fictober Day 30: Feelings You Can't Hide

Buck teeth.

He can’t believe Scully is into overbites when- no, he’s not going down that road again. The same thing happened last year when Ed Jerse showed up. Not that Mulder ever met the guy, but he’s seen pictures. What a funny twist of fate that Sheriff Buck Teeth and Mr. Tattoo look like they could be related. His Scully has a type. And Mulder is not jealous. At all.

He reminds himself of that fact every two seconds, lest he forget to smile and not make another biting remark. Whatever his feelings are, Scully deserves more. That’s the reason why he pushed her towards the Sheriff in the first place. A mistake he now very much regrets. He should have known. He of all people, who’s been seduced by his own vampire before. Whatever happened – and either Scully doesn’t remember or doesn’t want to tell him – she’s still wearing the sheriff’s coat.

And he’s still not jealous at all. Not even an iota. Well, maybe a bit. A fraction. He glances over at Scully, almost disappearing into the coat, her hands in the pockets. His blood coils. It’s anger, he justifies. That guy could have done god knows what to Scully. The hospital cleared them both. There was nothing wrong with them.

Mulder winced internally when rape kits were prepared, bu they haven't been touched in any way. There’s not a scratch on either of them. Scully’s theory is that they were drugged so that Sheriff Hartwell and the others could disappear. He thinks she’s right, but so far all he’s done is nod along.

“Are you gonna keep wearing that thing?” He doesn’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it does. Scully musters him, obviously trying to understand what’s wrong with him.

“No, of course not,” she says. “It’s just warm and it’s cool in here.”

“You can have my coat,” he says, taking it off.

“Mulder, you’re gonna be cold.” Except he feels warm. Hot, even. Boiling almost. “Take it,” he says, sounding like an asshole. He hears it, and judging by Scully’s puzzled expression, she does, too. Still, she takes his coat, slipping out of the other one. Mulder can breathe more easily.

Scully giggles when she holds up the sleeves, her hands barely peeking out. The sound opens something in Mulder. He watches her out of the corner of his eye, her sight causing a pandemonium of emotions inside him.

He can no longer deny it; he is jealous. Whether it’s a vampiric sheriff, a psychopathic asshole, or a seemingly normal-looking doctor in a hospital. Scully deserves to find a nice man – emphasis on nice, and not blood-sucking or murderous – and here he is, trying his best to prevent that from happening. Because what if she does? What if the next guy they run into is exactly what she’s looking for? Sweet and kind – someone Bill Jr. will be friends with. Someone who’ll whisk her away on weekend trips where the scariest situation will involve preventing a sunburn.

“Mulder, I asked if you were ready to go home.” Scully is squeezing his arm, her eyes narrow with concern.

“Am I ready?” he asks. He's not ready at all to do this. To consider the possibility that one day - and maybe soon - she could be gone. Because of some guy who can give her everything Mulder can't.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Did they check your head?” She runs her fingers through his hair and he doesn’t have the heart to tell her that they did check him for head trauma and that her way of checking is more of a caress than anything else.

“My head is fine,” he says finally.

“It better be because I’m not facing Skinner alone.” He gives her a look that he hopes is reassuring.

*

He hasn’t stopped thinking about it. About his revelation. That’s why when they talk to Skinner, he’s only half listening, reiterating everything Scully says.

“This is your story,” Skinner says, glancing at both of them across from him. They share a quick look before they nod.

“That is essentially… exactly the way it happened,” Scully says slowly.

“Except for the part about the buck teeth.” The room falls quiet. He knows he shouldn’t have said it, but he hasn’t slept well these past few nights. Last night, he dreamed about a hat with big white teeth following him around, trying to bite him. Skinner sighs, rubbing his eyes, and for once Mulder gets it. Scully’s eyes are on him and he feels them burn into the side of his face. This isn’t over for him, no matter what Skinner is about to say.

“You’re dismissed,” their boss says, directing his attention elsewhere; a clear sign that they should leave. Mulder stumbles over his own feet in an attempt to get out of the office. Scully, however, is at his heels. How she can keep up with him might be the greatest conundrum of them all.

“What was that?” she hisses once they’re in the elevator, on the way down to their office.

“What was what?”

“Why do you keep insisting that he had buck teeth?”

“Why are you always attracted to idiots?” Another thing he knows he shouldn’t have said. “I’m sorry, I-… I haven’t been sleeping well.” It’s a flimsy excuse and the fire in Scully’s eyes doesn’t dissipate.

“You’re one to talk, Mulder. This was unprofessional. In front of Skinner. It’s bad enough when you made fun of it before but in front of our boss? What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t thinking.”

“I’ll say. Why are you so obsessed with what he looked like?” He owes her this. But first, he’s saved by the bell. The elevator door opens and Scully steps out first. He follows the click of her heels until they’re in their office where she leans against the desk, her arms folded in front of her.

“I’m waiting,” she says, her eyebrows raised.

“I was just surprised,” he explains. “That you’d be interested in someone like… that.”

“Like what, Mulder?”

“He wasn’t the brightest bulb, Scully. You must have seen that. I thought you’d be more, um- I thought maybe you’d go for someone who’s more…”

“More what?” she asks.

“Someone who’s intellectually on your level.”

“Like you?”

“I didn’t say that,” he replies too quickly and he sees the corner of Scully’s mouth twitch.

“I may have thought that Sheriff Hartwell was nice enough looking,” she says, sounding almost bored. “I wasn’t planning a life with him. And you just- should I remind you of Detective White?”

“Who?”

“Oh, come on. Or Bambi.”

“Bambi was a scientist,” Mulder says defensively.

“Yeah, she was,” Scully mumbles, looking away. “Either way, I have to deal with you being… interested in other people way more often than the other way around. And I don’t ascribe them physical attributes they don’t possess. So what was that?”

“I’m sorry, Scully. I truly am. I was just-,” he looks at her. Can he say it? Can he admit it to her? If he admits that he was jealous, what will happen next? They’re not there yet. He can admit it to himself, but he’s not ready to face the consequences of his feelings.

“I was insensitive. I was worried your feelings for Sheriff Bu- Hartwell might interfere with the case.”

“That’s it?” she asks and he nods, looking down at his feet. “You’re sticking to that story?” He lifts his head to look at her. She’s not believing a single word.

“Admit he didn’t have buck teeth.”

“What? He did!”

“Admit it, Mulder. Or tell me the real reason.”

“Fine,” he says with a sigh. All he has to do is say it. Simple words. ‘I was jealous, Scully’. How hard can it be? He, the defender and searcher of the truth, is shying away from it.

“I- he didn’t have buck teeth. Happy?”

“It’ll do,” she says, before she walks right past him and out of the basement office, making him wonder what exactly she means by that.

[cephalog0d]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag @babblingbookends!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

89! (tbf a lot of them are drabbles XD)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

62,284. Higher than I thought!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Batfam, occasionally branching into other DC, occasionally gift fics for others and original work.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Bomb Sing Se (arguably the fic that got me to actually write and post things instead of just keeping stuff to me and a couple friends)

Comfort Food

Bower Birds

Relation

Bat Math

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely! I try to respond to every comment I get, I appreciate every single one so much.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well Relative Velocity is the only time I've ever used the "Hurt No Comfort" tag so.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of what I write is silly humorous nonsense so I think most of them are happy endings? I like the fluffy siblings ending on Midnight Snack a lot.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not anywhere I've ever seen it, luckily!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nah, not really my thing.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I've done fandom fusion ones like Venom!Steph but I don't know if that counts as a crossover since it's still all characters from one setting, just with setting elements from another property.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, luckily!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of, but that would be super cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet! But we'll see. :)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Uhhhhh I'm gonna say Leverage OT3? (I don't really have a lot of strong "this is my thing" ship opinions.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

*quietly sliding my giant WIP/fic idea spreadsheet under the rug to hide it* I have too many. So, so many.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm good at the banter thing. I really enjoy writing back and forth dialogue, especially for humor, but also for serious conversations. It's often the part I think about the most and spend the most time on. (I think I'm also pretty good at world building stuff, but that doesn't always come up with fanfic.)

17: What are your writing weaknesses?

The focus to finish plotting/writing long stories is definitely one I'm not great at. I have the ideas, but my brain sees another shiny new idea and goes "but what about that". It's something I'm working on.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It depends? For one thing there's the whole thing of having the knowledge/resources to actually have accurate translations, which may or may not be difficult to do, but also I think it depends on who the POV character is. If you put in dialogue in another language people can look it up and see what it means, so it can be a fun way to have a little easter egg that the audience knows and the POV character doesn't, but if you don't want to give stuff away it's better to just say they're speaking X language, or maybe POV character recognizes a word or two but not the whole statement.

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

Batfam stuff is what made me actually start interacting with fandom instead of being a weird internet lurker talking to my friends about things I like so.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Oh boy, I don't even know...I'm gonna say Finders Keepers because I really love that AU and that's the one that started it.

And that's that!

No pressure tags for @outtoshatter @2dents @teleportationmagic @kayrielwrites @sepia-stained-sunset !

[tutchando74]

Tomorrow's end of the year

This year was special to me. This was the year I entered social medias for real.

After years of telling myself that I should post my ideas, I finally took enough courage to do it, and voala, I even made friends along the way.

I don't know them enough to call them close friends, but I consider them to be. Of course I'm talking about Simple, Carleen and Shadeless.

I ain't gonna tag them (Load of bullshit, I'll do that down the line), since this is more of a letter to me, but thank you three so much for dealing with me. Granted, you haven't seen shit from me yet, but still.

I hope we continue being friends, but only time will tell this tale.

Now, to my blogs, I'm gonna leave here the statistcs of my blogs and AO3.

@tutchando74

Posts: 650

Quite a big number, huh? Never thought I'd post so many in my life.

Followers: 45

I'm so grateful to all of you who follow me. I don't what attracted you to my blog, but I'm thankful to all of you.

4 biggest fans: @carleenchoco, @ask-serial-designation-s, @shadelessanon and @the-simple-creature

What could I expect, I'm a simple man, always keeping his friends close.

@ask-fell-drones

Posts: 144

Unfortunaly, this AU didn't get as much attention as the other one, but hey, that's a good number.

Followers: 31

Again, I don't know what attracted you to this AU, but you need help.

4 biggest fans: @tutchando74, @igothepanzerdivision (I can't for the life of me tag this guy), @brookiedaaroacecookie and @l0v3sickl0s3r

Yes, I like my blog's post, judge me. A thank to the three of you, even if Igothe there is kind of a fever dream.

@ask-shop-drones

Posts: 1180

By far my most famous blog. This isn't even a joke. I understand why it tracted more attention though.

Followers: 71

A thank you to everyone who got interested in this little AU of mine. Honestly, a thanks to all of you.

4 biggest fans: @tutchando74, @l0v3sickl0s3r, @hotmacsticks and @kitty-chans-art

A thanks to the three of you who have made RP's with my AU or just supported it. Thank you.

@ask-alphakill

Posts: 40

This AU hasn't grabbed much attention, but I'm okay with it. This AU was born as a joke.

Followers: 4

Thanks to you who follows this blog. Honestly, thank you. I'm glad you liked this little joke I made.

4 biggest fans: @tutchando74, @skyblueducky, @nani-w (also can't tag you) and @paintchipstastegood

Thank you three for interacting with this AU. It honestly means a lot.

@askrealityfalls

Posts: 5

Yeah, this one ain't a lot famous, probably cause of my drawings.

Followers: 2

I'm surprised someone follows this. Thank you a lot for this.

4 biggest fans: @tutchando74, @lentalguts-gingersnaps and @jthorpe96

Ain't even got 4. Nonetheless, thank you two for interacting with this little thing.

I'm sorry for anyone who was bothered by the tagging, but I wanted to thank you all for this. So, one last thanks everyone, and I hope you all have a great nex year, and I hope mine's great too.

Now for my AO3 account.

Even if it my account doesn't have a full year yet. Accomplished more than I thought I would, no joke. I expected that I would write things and they would get like 20 hits or something, but imagine my surprise when in around a week I got 100 hits on Split Drones. It was a surprise, and that was the first edition of Split Drones, one that doesn't exist anymore because I edited it, cause it was bad.

Hell, I even got a fanart, made by Clockwork. This is a dream come true. I even got a gift, made by InspiredDragonWriter. He decided to gift me back a very good work. Also got a related work made by Kingcrustnip.

This is insane! I'm still so happy about all of these.

I'm going to talk a little about each of my main stories here that I made this year.

Split Drone (on going)

One of my favorite stories that I have thought of. I'm happy that after the 3º chapter it got a lot more attention. And to think that it's not even close to ending.

Murder Drones Oneshots... Kind of (on going)

My most viewed fic here, for obvious reason. It's a oneshit book. Honestly, I don't like this one, but I still have to finish it. There are requests that have more than months on the waiting. The people who sent them don't even remember it anymore.

Rescue Drones (on going)

I'm glad the Twins allowed me to use their content to do my strange shit. Honestly, I really like this story, specially the world building I did with it. I just like the concept of different HQ's out there. I don't know if the Twin read that story anymore, probably not, but I'm happy that they let me use their universe to write my stories.

A walk and a discovery + We meet again brother (finished)

Two gifts for InspiredDragonWriter. I really liked his content, so I thought of making these stories. I like them, think I did a good job on doing a horror story. I hope he really did like these gifts.

Listening to music (finished)

This is just a fun idea I had. Glad some people liked it, but I don't really have any more ideas on what to do with it. I think Clockwork would have an use for this one on his musical oneshot though. Unfortunaly it's closed.

Mine (on going)

A request that turned into a full fic. Honestly, it's really fun to do it, and it gathered way more attention than I thought it would.

Downard Spiral (on going)

A side fic for Rescue Drones. I have a harder time writting in first person than in third, so the quality of this one is leagues worse than the main story, but I don't think it's that bad.

Greek HQ (on going)

This is a huge story I'm trying to tell. Hope the 10 people who read it like it. Things are going to become much worse, really fast.

Little Rescue Drones side stories

Just some fun fic ideas I have on my mind. Nothing more. Don't even know if I should make them cannon.

Brown and Son Playing (finished)

Just a fun little idea I had for these two.

Serial Designation S RP (on going)

I never expected to play a RP, specially on Tumblr. I'm glad I did though, met three pretty fun persons. It's hard to do the Rp through Tumblr, but it's very good.

Poemas (on going)

My first attempt at writting poems. It's really fun to do it, specially to talk about my culture. 

Now, I saw the Twins doing this, and I really liked it. It is showing my final statistics, so I'm going to do the same. By the end of this year, my statistics were:

- User Subscriptions: 8 I'm thankful to everyone who liked my works enough to follow me on this site. I'm glad you enjoy my stuff that much.

- Kudos: 420 This is insane to me. I got this amount in less than a year. Going by dates, it's been around half a year. I'm fucking thankful to everyone who liked my stuff.

- Comment Threads: 88 That's a lot of conversation, and even if most are about the fics, I think I did make some friends here. Hope they think the same.

- Bookmarks: 56 I'm glad people liked my works enough to leave a bookamrk on them, and 56 bookmarks across all my 26 works. That's more than double.

- Subscriptions: 47 Across all my 26 fics, I got 47 subscriptions in each of them. I'm thankful to anyone who did this, trully.

- Word Count: 110,657 Honestly, why do you americans use comma to separate the decimals when most of the world uses dot? Whatever. That's an insane amount of words to me. That's more than I expected to write in all of my life, wich is funny that it turned into my hobby.

- Hits: 14,796 This is an insane number to me. 14k views on my fics. I never expected to have all of this in half a year, but I'm so glad and thankful I did.

It isn't much, but its more than I thought I would get in my first year. Well, it was fun writting everything and meeting new people here in this site.

My gratitudes goes to The_Twins_On_Internet, Kingcrustnip, LB_Clockwork, Shadow_Drone_N_Bryan78932, InspiredDragonWriter and everyone who read, kudoed, bookmarked, subscribed and commented on my fics. A huge thank you to all of you.

[iridescent-solstice]

𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖘 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖜!

⤷ ᴄᴜꜱᴛᴏᴍ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴛᴀɢꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ʙʟᴏɢ ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ʙᴇʟᴏᴡ!! ɪ ᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ᴍᴏꜱᴛʟʏ ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ ꜱᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴜꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴛᴀɢꜱ!! . . . ɪ ᴛᴀɢ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ʙʟᴏɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ꜱᴘᴇᴄɪꜰɪᴄ ᴛᴀɢꜱ, ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅɪɴɢ ᴀʀᴛᴡᴏʀᴋ ɪ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ’ꜱ ᴀɴᴀʟʏꜱɪꜱ/ ᴡᴏʀᴋ. ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛʀʏ ᴛᴏ ʟɪɴᴋ ᴀʟʟ ᴍʏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴛᴇɴ ꜱᴛᴜꜰꜰ ʜᴇʀᴇ ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇꜱ ᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪᴍ ʙᴏᴛʜ ʟᴀᴢʏ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛꜰᴜʟ, ᴀ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟʏ ᴄᴏᴍʙɪɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ʟᴏʟ

❛❛ Tԋҽ Aɾƈαɳα ❞

#Cԋ: Aʂɾα🔮 ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

🕊️ The types of photos he keeps ⤷ Just because you're not next to him, doesn't mean he can't enjoy your beauty

🕊️ Kid Asra and Muriel sprites ⤷ No background sprites of kid Asra and Muriel from the tale: travel at night.

🕊️ Late night observations . . . ⤷ After a long trip, Asra can't help but crave being close to you

🕊️ Procrastination is an ugly disease ⤷ Comfort fic for when reader can't get themselves to stop procrastinating

🕊️ Asra wanders away to escape the rehearsal ball ⤷ When your dance partner disappears, and you go off to find him

🕊️ A possessive and jealous Asra ⤷ How Asra shows his ‘competitor’ who your heart really belongs to . . .

ℭ𝔥: 𝔐𝔲𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔩 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔪𝔦𝔱 🐣🍂🌻

🕊️ Kid Asra and Muriel sprites ⤷ No background sprites of kid Asra and Muriel from the tale: travel at night.

#ℭ𝔥: 𝔍𝔲𝔩𝔦𝔞𝔫 🦜⊹ ࣪ ˖

#ℭ𝔥: ɴᴀᴅɪᴀ 🦉🍃˖⋆࿐໋

#ℭ𝔥: ᴘᴏʀᴛɪᴀ ˖𓍢ִ໋ 🌷͙֒ ࿐໋.˚

#ℭ𝔥: 𝔉𝔞𝔲𝔰𝔱 🐍✨ ་༘࿐

🕊️ Boop noodle vibes⤷ Faust vibes crack post lmaoo

#ℭ𝔥: 𝔏𝔲𝔠𝔦𝔬 ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🐐˚

❛❛ βℓαcκ βʋтℓɛя ❞

#ℭ𝔥: ℭ𝔩𝔞𝔲𝔡𝔦𝔢𝔢 💝✨

🕊️ Late night observations . . . ⤷ With Alois put to rest, and his mate when taken care of, Claude takes a moment to admire a now asleep reader

🕊️ Baking with the butler 🥧 ⤷ Although you’d never admit it, you did love his hands . . . Chatting while your butler man does his thing, but not without u causing a little trouble to him

🕊️ Care for some custard? You're gonna get more than you bargained for {MDNI‼} ⤷ 3 am baking that ends up getting carried away

🕊️ Wolf spider!Claude X moth!reader ⤷ Hc for claude as the wolf spider species and how he comes across his soon to be mate . . . (if you're interested in this au keep an eye on the #moth!reader tag. It's still in development rn)

🕊️ Where is he?!? ⤷ With your heat drawing near and your mate nowhere to be seen, you can't help but fall into despair, good thing he said he'll be back soon . . .

🕊️ Hairstyle headcanon ⤷ What I think Claude's un-styled hair would look like

🕊️ Crushing from a far, until caught . . . {MDNI‼} ⤷ One might think it's a blessing to work alongside the one you love; you wish you could agree to that

🕊️ 𝐀 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐤 . . . pt.1 , ⤷ ᴀ ᴍᴀꜱᴋ ɪꜱ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴀ ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ʜɪᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ꜱᴇʟꜰ, ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ ʜᴏᴡ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴀᴛ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ ᴄʟᴀᴜᴅᴇ ꜰᴀᴜꜱᴛᴜꜱ ɪꜱ . . . . ʜᴇ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ ꜰᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ

#Ch: A͎ʟօɨֆ 🌷✧˚.🎀 ⤷ Moodboard ⤷ Rentry graphic

❛❛J𝐮𝐣𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐮 𝐤𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐧 ❞

#ᴄʜ: ꜱᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ 💅🏻🌠

🕊️ Holding you hostage ⤷ It was your idea to paint your yandere lover's nails, you can't just break your promise now that he's shown his true colours . . .

[ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ]

🕊️ ❝ɪɴᴄᴏʀʀᴇᴄᴛ Qᴜᴏᴛᴇꜱ ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ❞ ⤷ Incorrect quotes the arcana characters or their respective mc would totally say (source: trust me bro)

🕊️ ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔠𝔥𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠𝔰!!✨ ⤷ Character related moodboards!! aka a visual delight based around the character🥰

🕊️ 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲! 𝐀 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 🌸 ⤷ Life has slowly picked up in pace and before you knew it, there is seldom any free time to spare for your beloved partner. So, what little time you do have together, not working that is, is spent trying to find some semblance of peace. Finding comfort in one another.

[tiltingheartand]

virgin mary you fucking alien pls :D (this is lexie)

also:

tagging @wakeupnew and @chobani-flip both in this one!

so, okay, first, the title comes from voltaire's song "the man upstairs" (... side note: i remember telling @chobani-flip how horrified i was at discovering the devil's bris came out in nineteen-ninety-fucking-eight; i am still appalled, for the record). absolutely not the title i'll be using, but as working-titles-in-gdocs go it serves its purpose (i.e., telling me which file it is without me having to think too hard).

but. anyway. this is the "tommy lived in buck's building already when he moved into the loft" fic that i posted snippets of here and here. i don't actually even remember what made the things connect in my brain that i got the initial idea for this fic anymore, although it's possible if i dug around in my chatlog with christine on discord i could find it.

but i think part of it is, you know. if buck and tommy did know each other before the helicopter rescue in s7, but neither of them were necessarily in a place where their relationship would be anything but friendship, what would that change? would that change anything? (this is also related to my deeply-held belief -- reflected in at least one other WIP of mine -- that buck just. desperately. needs more goddamn friends. people in his life that actually mean something to him that aren't in the "colleagues who've been promoted" category. that's one of the things that pissed me off the most about his relationship with taylor turning into a Relationship actually.)

and, hey. some things change. some things stay the same. buck's gonna buck, after all. i haven't 100% decided at what point they're going to get together yet -- i think i need a full-series rewatch before i can work on this much more, honestly -- but the one place i keep coming back to in my brain is in s5b, after the speed rescue with lucy. is this in large part because i fucking hate that arc? maybe. i love lucy but jesus fucking christ i hate that shit. >_> and here, another snippet, double-sized because there's two of you!

to: Tommy no it’s fine don’t worry it’s the middle of the day anyway i shouldn't be drinking

from: Tommy Lunch wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world, but if you want to drink, just drink. Leaving yourself beholden to an artificial standard of when it’s okay to indulge is less healthy than day drinking. Also shift work means that you can drink whenever you want to, in my opinion. I’ll be worried about you either way. You might as well have a bad day with somebody else’s beer.

to: Tommy i promise that wasn't what i was trying to do i worry enough people as it is we don’t even work together

from: Tommy This is a free service from me to you. I get it if you don’t want to, but don’t feel like you have to say no to be polite. If I didn’t mean the offer I wouldn’t have made it.

(ask me about any of my WIPs, if you'd like!)