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FANART FOR @tuzesdays FIC “you move to dayshift but aren’t paid anymore, go figure” ON AO3 PLEASE GO READ IT ITS SO GOOD 😭😭😭😭😭😭
WARNING!! SPOILERS FOR THE FIC BELOW!!
#fnaf daycare au#fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf daycare attendant#sundrop#moondrop#fnaf fandom#daycare attendant x reader#GOD I LOVED SO MANY SCENES FROM THIS FIC GUYS#THE Y/N IS ME FRFR#THERE IS JUST SO MUCH TO LOVE#I DONT WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING IN THE TAGS#PLEASE JUST READ IT ALREADY 10/10 WILL NOT REGRET#MORE DOODLES LATER POSSIBLY#WHO KNOWS#HEHEHEHE#IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS FIC GUYS#TRUST ME LOL#HAHAHAHAHHA
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look i don’t have any problems with that canon m/f ship its just that that is a homosexual who should really be dating their same gender bestie(s) and the other mf (who’s in some kinda limbo world between gay and bi) is REALLY needed as a 3rd in their friends’ het-passing bi4bi polycule and the comphet going on here may destroy us all
#elmike#platonic maiko#ok i do have problems with both relationships but those problems are the glaring comphet nd its effects#also I KNOW i said i was leaving the st fandom but i have no impulse control so fuck me ig#not officially back in the fandom by any means but i might post abt it#if anyone asks im not affiliated with those hypocritical racist 13yos#< talking abt st not atla if u couldn’t guess#zukki#zukka#elmax#elumax#byler#(god i already regret tagging that-)#maizulee#zuko#mai#el hopper#mike wheeler#atla#stranger things
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#I already know I'm going to regret the popularity imbalance on this one but oh well#aro week#aro tag#ace tag#inco#the godshead incidental#the antique shop#the mistholme museum of mystery morbidity and mortality#jar of rebuke#the stonesinger chronicles#wooden overcoats#old gods of appalachia#polls#audio drama#█████ posts#queue
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the shizu-chan song
youtube
just discovered the shizu-chan song by none other than johnny yong bosch. help me
id transcribe if i didnt have a final in 10 hours. maybe when i get back
oh nvm someone already wrote them out
this has similar energy as the bro duet song but like. in reverse bgskjdghjkgsd the no homo is for real
plus an animatic version and amv version because holy hell this is old
#i hear there's another shizuo song by johnny yong bosch according to the comments from 2017 but ill have to wait until yt recommends me it#anyway this makes me want to make a bro duet animatic for shizaya#which would be hilarious because. they're not bros#the ship dynamic of 'two guy best friends who maybe kiss sometimes' is very good but very not shizaya#so the spontaneous love confessions just come out of fucking nowhere during one of their fights#it would be really funny. trust#and probably better than the angst and self-denial festival i would make animating the actual shizu-chan song#i can already see the half-smiling-to-himself half-looks-like-he's-about-to-cry pining semi-regretful izaya face at the last shizu-chan#also. izaya guitar player headcanon hello#if someone can make an artist hobbyist izaya au i can make a guitar hobbyist izaya au#tbh izaya's more spontaneous and i feel like he wouldnt like all the hard work and practice time that goes into learning an instrument#like his main hobbies like parkour and switchblade throwing are stuff he gets to put into practice all the time and are more 'useful'#but instrument practice it's just him and his thoughts and callused hands for hours at a time#feel like he'd get frustrated pretty easily in that way#anyway wouldnt it be hot if izaya played the guitar LMFAOO fuck my characterization and let that man play fingerstyle#izaya playing piano is a somewhat popular headcanon anyway#god i have the worst habit of putting the entirety of my post into the tags. must be the incorrect lov joke bits spilling over#shizaya#shizuo heiwajima#izaya orihara#durarara#Youtube
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Anon from the karma flower ask here, just gotta say i have no regrets, hows sparrows recovery going?
according to doctor (Euros) she'll be just fine after grounding herself a lil. nothing bad essentially happened, she just wasn't ready for all those feelings
#Spot says stuff#rw#oc tag#to try n explain a bit: i mentioned it in an answer to alter from yesterday but basically the physical world is a muffler. absorber.#what the karma flower does is basically like. boosts the meditation effect. assists in the subtle bodies departing from the physical body#and since the physical body becomes eliminated from the equation everything will hit stronger and More. sparrows dad is a sore-#-subject for her normally already n getting any kind of input about him while in this Seeing projection state just fucking. rowed her over#shes ultimately okay. maybe even better off. just had to confront the feelings head on without anything to make it lighter or to hide behin#lookin at moons explanation of it fuckin... 'imagined worlds'... Bitch What If Its Real Tho. i like to think that moon is kind of-#-skeptical of the spiritual. the iterators cant experience the effect for themselves ofc so shes 🤨 but nah we already have folk gods in-#-here so the karma flower allowing the user to really See other planes? aiya true dat up in this bitch yeehaw#'have no regrets' tho you ASSHOLE /lh GLSKDCLSKDMLCK
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want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#actually i dont mean bald i just mean all one guard length#but hhhhh maybe i'm in an awkard stage maybe not i just CANNOT live like this#middle part is frustrating because it's not perfect in the way it sits side part is frustrating because i look like a girl#i feel like i could go all in with the 4 and then sorta texture a bit with the 2 guard HOWEVER having used the 4 previously. i know#how short that is. it might not look good so i worry#the bright side is it would grow out a bit by the time of the parade but augh i hate this#i'm currently a tightly wound ball of rage sorry. i didn't eat much of anything 2day#tried to call the hospital to get help with the letter/consulation thing preceding top surgery and they were NOT OPEN so idk if they will#be open tomorrow or not. the passage of time has gotten very vague all of a sudden#iiiiiii do not think i am doing well. lol. idk why though! god forbid any of it have a reason#i almost wish i'd relapse just so i could like. eat food again#idk i don't think it would solve it but i feel in my heart it might make things easier#buuuut because relapse is Bad For Me i guess i have to avoid it. well i want to anyways.#one bad day would not a reset make but my previous day happened this year already so...#i dunno it's been so long that i feel like it's not valid or whatever cause it was at an age where i can say it was a 'phase'#.............. i dunno what to do with that information. anyways.#i mean so what if i went all in on it again anyways? i kinda miss it lol. it's not like i could do any serious harm??#(potential infections aside.)#i just want to be creative and i CANT because my stupid brain will NOT think of anything#and the majority of what i have concretely written of this was written... get this .... right when i was trying to stay clean at first#correlation does not equal causation ........ sighs#i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle because i WANT IT to be that bad again#i've never really regretted it & it's never really been because of anything#i just started because i was curious about why someone would do that. that's all#i dont think i've EVER had any of the mental distress i see people in when theyre in these spaces#in one journal entry i made this big deal about wanting to kill myself but *i didn't want to*. i never did.#like sorry old me but it is REALLY hard to believe i've ever been depressed depressed#i just want things to be better and they never are :/ this should be everything i wanted and its just ... not#i'm not really sure how to ....... oh tag limit ok hold on
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seeing some lightly Ed-critical posts with a disclaimer like "I'm not trying to villainize Ed here..."
well I am. I villainize the hell out of him.
Its FINE. its COOL. His character can take a ton of hate and still be beloved
After all, Izzy did....
#I'm not gonna harass anyone unlike SOME haters in this fandom#but I'm already sick of adding disclaimers and caveats to my posts and tag novels#of explaining that yes i do understand Ed and his motivations and his trauma and how his trauma affects his actions and choices blah blah#so I'll say it loud and proud:#Ed Teach fucking sucks and everything he does in s2 makes me so damn mad#maybe if he expressed an ounce of regret. said the words 'i'm sorry' even insincerely! but no! he doesnt! so:#Fuck edward teach. all my homies hate edward teach.#i hope that bell keeps him from sleeping at night (because god knows his guilty conscience isn't loud enough to keep him awake#(let’s see how long it takes for me to be accused of racism. as if I wouldn’t suck taika waititi sloppy style)
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#queue of the beam#queued so i forget i actually ever posted this#we hit the fucking bottom of the barrel when you go scram all over your damned cds#which are not in damned order#to find this one#bc you need it blasted so you don’t fucking end up doing what he says hems doing#and it’s everything i’m gonna say on the subject before i regret oversharing#i’m nowhere near fine and i’m not seeing therapist for a month i’m just#at third crying fit of the day i need some intervention#@ any greek god wanting to deus ex machina my existence please just show up already#i’m writing this so i calm my shit down#which kinda worked but now i just want to sleep for a week#@ trent thanks for the pseudo catharsis i’m gonna need extra#jfc i just stared at the tags for five minutes while zoning out#i’m gonna shut it and queue this and just deal with my shit thanks for listening to my nonsense
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NOSTALGIA
As you mature and gain new experiences, improving yourself as you go, your work gets better and better. You learn from the past and use this knowledge to make a better present that paves the way for a better future.
What value, then, do old works have when asked to choose between it and its more current counterparts?
In an impossible place, at an impossible time, a creator and their creation meet…
Why do people create things?
What drives them?
What benefit is there in creating and sharing?
Is it for themselves? For other people?
To please a superior? To reach a deadline?
How does one transcribe their most intimate feelings into their creations?
What makes them so comfortable to share their vulnerability?
Or does it mean nothing at all? Is it all just flowery words?
There might exist a reality where concepts and ideas are given physical life. They breathe, just like any other human. They have personalities, if you wish to acknowledge the embodiment of a concept as such. They walk, talk, and feel. They laugh, cry, play, fight, rage, despair, yet also forgive, love, and care. They live. They know who their creators are, of course. After all, they are alive because of these humans. However, none of them feel the need to ever meet their creators. No, that’s ridiculous. What purpose is there to meet their creators? They are content to simply live with each other, never once meeting the humans they owe their existence to. It’s not like those humans know about them, anyway.
This is how the oldest of a group of 13 sisters has lived. Formally named as Pentagon, simply called Penny by the others, she is the first of the albums from a Korean boy group called PENTAGON, her namesakes. She has guided the first 3 that came after her, teaching them what she knows and paving the way for them to find their own path. Nowadays, having such a large gap between her and the younger ones, she is content to be on the sidelines and watch the new albums be guided by those that came before.
Penny has never wished for more, never needed for less.
She is satisfied.
If you had the chance to meet your creator, what would you say?
What would you ask?
Would it be hard to believe these questions never crossed her mind before? Not once has she thought about confronting those responsible for her existence. What is there to gain? She exists, she lives, and, for better or worse, there is nothing more to be done about it.
And yet…
Penny walks in an expanse of white. If she were to stand still for a few minutes, it would be easy for her to lose track of what is right-side up. She can’t quite remember how she got here. One minute she was walking around in the mall downtown, the next she blinked and is now walking in this void. Although, she doesn’t feel dead, so it can’t be the afterlife. Did she enter a forbidden place in the mall? ‘I’ll never hear the end of it from Sunny if this is somehow one of those dreaded Backrooms…’
She doesn’t walk alone, though. Somehow, beside her walks along a man (a real human?) twice her height. He’s dressed very casually, a t-shirt, jeans, and rubber shoes. It’s as if he’s merely taking a stroll in a park. He looks ahead, face neutral, and hums quietly to himself. His hands stay in his pant pockets, only leaving when the man decides to adjust his shirt every now and then.
Their footsteps echo softly around them, filling in the deafening silence of the white space. Neither of them have spoken to each other, only giving each other a glance at the start before quickly looking away and walking forward.
Although Penny only got a quick glimpse of what the man looks like, she knows for sure that the man beside her is one of her creators. Lee Hoetaek, simply known as Hui, the leader of PENTAGON, one of Penny’s writers, walks beside her in the vastness of nothing. This man is one of the people responsible for the birth of all of PENTAGON’s albums except for those made during his enlistment period (although strangely, Fiona doesn’t apply to this).
Penny still remembers how the boys were like when she first came to be. Ambitious, hopeful, eager to prove themselves.; they were young and filled with dreams. The man beside her now seems so different from the boy of the past. ‘He’s grown so much. 7 years is really such a long time,’ Penny wonders how much the others have also grown.
After a while, Penny pulls on her hoodie’s sleeves. How long have they been walking? Is time even a thing here? Her chest feels a little too tight, hands a little too restless. Will they keep walking aimlessly forever? Is there an end to this white space? She looks around her. There’s no telling how far they’ve walked now, if they have ever left their place of origin at all. Should she say something? What does she even ask?
This could all be just a very vivid dream. Perhaps she already made it home for the night. Everything feels so…real, though, for it to simply be a dream. Then again, if all this is just a dream, what does she have to lose in talking to Hui?
Penny opens her mouth, feeling her voice disappear. She stops and clears her throat, consciously avoiding Hui now stopping and staring down at her.
“How’s…,” her voice cracks and Penny wishes the void spontaneously summons a black hole. Still, she pushes through, “how’s everything? …with everyone?”
She hears rather than sees Hui shifting on his feet. He hums a bit before replying, “..what?”
Penny’s face cringes at their current interaction. Talking with others should come naturally to her. She stands up straighter and faces Hui, actually looking at his face for the first time. He looks even more tired now, but his eyes seem to have not lost their bright, ambitious glow, still so alive after some time. It feels weird, to see a grown man in the place of the hopeful young boy she grew accustomed to. Something squeezes in Penny’s chest. “How’s PENTAGON? How’s…everyone been? It’s been, well, it’s been seven years for me now.”
Penny isn’t too sure how everything works here. Does Hui understand what she is? If this is her own dream, perhaps he does. On the off chance this isn’t, well this would be very hard to explain. He doesn’t seem to be confused about what's going on, though. Maybe he is at least aware that this isn’t the same world he knows of.
Hui stares at her, what he’s looking for she can’t tell. He lets out an embarrassed chuckle and rubs his neck, eyes looking off to the side. He sucks in a breath through his teeth, “It’s been…a lot of things. Wow, seven years? It’s…a long story.”
He didn’t question her about anything she said. Humming, Penny turns back forward and takes a few steps forward. She looks back up at him, “We have time,” head nodding to the path forward.
He looks at her, to the space in front of them, and releases a breath. Shrugging, he starts up his pace again, “I guess we do.” Penny follows along beside him, both of them looking forward as they walk.
And so, Hui talks. Penny makes no move to interrupt him, despite already knowing the group updates from talking to the younger albums. She lets him tell the story from his perspective, as the person who had to live through all the times, even adding about things that happened outside of official PENTAGON business.
Hui talks about many things.
Their debut showcase; Their first concert; Their subsequent comebacks; The group's status as self-producing idols; The rise and success of Shine; Hyojong and Hyuna's situation; Their first comeback without Hyojong; The mess that came after that; PRISM World Tour; Jinho's enlistment stage; The two comebacks without Jinho; Their first win, four years after debut; His own enlistment time; In:vite U, the one comeback without him; Hongseok's enlistment situation; Each member's participation in survival shows; Everyone's individual projects, like Kino's Pose; Dorm life; Status on the younger members; His burden and anxieties as the leader; Universe; Their latest Japanese comeback
The contract renewal period. The younger members’ departure from CUBE.
Penny tenses the most at the last topics. Logically, she knew the boys had a time limit hanging above their heads, but it felt like it was so far into the future all those years ago. A selfish part of her thought that they would always make music together until they physically couldn’t anymore. They were so hopeful and bright-eyed way back when they first debuted. Penny didn’t want any of that to change.
Is she being unreasonable for being the tiniest bit bitter at the younger line for leaving? Maybe. After all, they said they left CUBE, not PENTAGON (though the line they walk is very fragile and dangerous). It hurts to not know how Yanan’s doing, though. Penny can only hope everyone around him treats him well.
She never thought that anyone would actually leave unless forced to by the management, much less the boys who promised each other forever.
But she can’t control their fates. She can only hear about it happening.
“I think…that should be up to speed, except of course all the other individual schedules the members have,” Hui finishes.
They walk in silence once again. Penny allows herself this time to process all Hui told her. Seven years sounds long in theory, but feels so fast. And yet, hearing all of this from Hui, a lot of things really has happened to them. Penny bites her lip and looks down at Hui’s shoes, “...but were you all happy?”
Hui hums, thinking about it for a few seconds. “I know they were. It was hard for everyone, but they all seem happy now.”
“How’ve you been, then?”
“Well, I’ve been ok. I’ll admit there've been some good and bad times, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. God knows how much I missed them when I was in Boys Planet.”
Penny lifts her gaze to look at Hui’s eyes. He must have sensed her stare as after only a few seconds, he looked down to meet her own gaze. “But are you happy, after everything?” Penny asks.
Hui looks back forward, seemingly lost in thought. After a while, he nods his head, looking back down at Penny, “yes, I am. I don’t think I’ll ever find better brothers to love this deeply.”
Penny nods her head and looks back forward, continuing their walk in silence.
If you had the chance to meet your creator, what would you say?
What would you ask?
Penny never had those thoughts cross her mind before. It was simply impossible and worthless.
But she’s here now, walking with Hui. Even if this is a dream, wouldn’t this be the closest interaction she has with him?
She thinks about what she would ask Hui, something substantial. She almost gives up until a question forces itself in her mind, getting caught in her throat. Her stomach briefly falls. Would this really be worth asking? She desperately tries to find something else to say, but her one question keeps hammering in her heart.
Defeated, Penny quietly sighs and opens her mouth, “...Hui?”
The man lets out a curious hum.
“You…you’re finally allowed to release your own songs, right? Release your own albums and all. So what do you think about the ones you didn’t produce?”
Hui tilts his head to the side, eyebrows furrowed. “Didn’t produce…for PENTAGON, you mean?”
“Yeah, of course, for PENTAGON,” Penny clears her throat. Her nerves start rising up. It feels suffocating. “Like me. Five Senses. Ceremony. You know, the first ones, when that company didn’t allow much freedom for you guys yet. What do you…think about us?”
Hui’s mouth forms an O and he hums again, “I don’t hate you, if that’s your concern. I think you guys are fine.”
‘“Don’t hate” doesn’t necessarily mean “like” either,’ the pit in Penny’s stomach only grew deeper. ‘Isn’t this enough? Wasn’t this what she wanted?’ The dread inside her clings to her heart, behind her eyes, inside her lungs. Penny steps in front of Hui, causing both of them to stop walking. She looks up at him, fists holding the sides of her hoodie, “so then it’s fine if people listen to us?”
Hui looks more lost, not understanding the reasoning for Penny’s questions, “why wouldn’t it be?”
Penny takes a deep breath. “Unis don’t include us in streaming parties, and I get it. It’s more helpful to you if they stream songs produced by you guys. I promise I’m not mad about that. I get it…” Penny’s eyes fall to the side, hands rubbing together.
Hui slightly leans down, trying to catch her eyes, “...but?”
“But I…I wanted to know…what you think. You know, you’ve produced so many things. You probably don’t have the time and care to think about the ones you don’t produce and that’s perfectly fine. It’s fine. I’m fine with it. You’re only human. There’s only so much you can focus on at a time. I just wish- just wanted to know what…we are to you. You know, we’re part of your discography forever but we’re not fully produced by you guys. What are we…what am I to you?”
Do you hate me because you weren’t allowed to produce your own debut album? Do I bring back bad memories of what you had to go through just to debut? How do you see me? Or is this why you never think about me? There’s so much Penny wants to ask, but she holds herself back.
Am I asking for too much? Am I being too selfish? Have I made you sad? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. If you allowed her, she would go on forever on everything she wants to say to PENTAGON.
What am I to you? What am I supposed to be? What did you want me to be? Why am I so unsure if I matter to you? Where are these questions coming from? She never had these thoughts cross her mind. After all, she is satisfied being in the background. She is content to watch everyone grow and mature.
She is happy.
She is…happy?
Would someone who is happy have so many ways to question their worth?
Penny has no doubt in her heart that she loves all the boys very dearly. She and the group technically were born together. She is very excited and delighted to see how each and every one of them has grown. But standing in front of Hui, Penny wonders if they ever saw her with even at least the tiniest bit of love they can spare.
“I just,” Penny continues, eyes dropping down to her shoes. “I wanted to know…if you love us…,” Can she be selfish, just this once? “...if you love me, just like you do for all the others.” Her voice drops down to almost a whisper, losing all the previous strength and courage Penny managed to muster.
Penny stands there waiting for Hui’s response, the silence around them rings so loud in her ears, like a thousand glasses crashing against each other. She can only focus on her shoes, refusing to move a single muscle. Why isn’t he replying? Why can’t he just say a yes or no? Why am I even here? Why is this happening? This is all so stupid. Why? Why me? Why? Why? Why?Why?Why?Why?
Just as Penny starts to spiral, Hui slowly kneels down in front of her. She startles, looking at him as he reaches to be on the same eye-level as her. His smile is small, gentle, eyes so warm Penny didn’t realize how cold she felt until she physically melted just by looking at him. He holds out his hands to her, and Penny slowly puts hers on them, her own head tilting at Hui. He holds onto her tightly and smiles wider.
How can one person be so filled with love it shows itself even through the simplest action of smiling? Just by looking into their eyes?
How can someone be so willing to surrender their heart for all to see? To open their heart for anything? To still have space to love even more?
Penny doesn’t know the answer to these questions. She doesn’t think she’ll be able to experience doing something like that herself. But she stares at Hui smiling at her, and she thinks that maybe someone like that can actually exist somewhere.
Hui stares at her a little bit longer, a nostalgic feeling finding its way into his gaze, and he opens his mouth, “Just because I didn’t make you doesn’t mean I don’t love you just the same.”
Penny’s breath gets caught in her throat. She prepared herself for rejection, for indifference, for maybe a very guilty expression. She was prepared to get her heart quietly broken. She never expected Hui to look at her with so much love, like a parent would to their child.
He pushes on, “It might seem so different now, with us being all self-produced now, but that will never mean I won’t be grateful for what you are in our lives. I look at you and I see how far we’ve grown, how far we’ve reached. But more than that, you also carry so much memories. You are our debut. There’s so much worth and weight in what you are.”
“But I��m stuck like this,” Penny whispers back. “I’ll never truly be one of yours.”
“And maybe you don’t have to be. Maybe the time just wasn’t right. We were too new to have a purely self-produced album. We were too young ourselves. But that doesn’t mean the memories and joy we felt during your time weren’t real, weren’t ours to cherish.”
Hui lifts his right hand and places them on Penny’s cheek. He uses his thumb to wipe away any tears he can catch, his smile somehow melting even more. When did she start crying? When did breathing become difficult? Penny bites on her lip, silencing any sounds trying to escape.
“Besides,” Hui softens his voice. “I’m sure there are plenty of Unis out there who are Universes today because of you. You gave us a chance to be the idols we are today. So please, don’t think that I don’t love you. And even if I didn’t, I’m sure there is someone somewhere out there who will fill in that love for me, even if you can’t meet them.”
Penny tries to get her breathing under control. There’s too much emotion to feel, emotions so different from what she expected to receive. After a few minutes, she sucks in a breath through her teeth and whispers back, “You guys have grown so much.”
Hui carefully pulls her into a hug, and whispers in her ear, “I’ll forever be grateful you paved the way for this to happen.”
A sincere person until the very end, her beloved leader. She throws her arms around him and hugs him back. If she’s hugging him tighter than he does to her, he doesn’t comment on it and hugs her back just as tightly.
Eventually, Penny pulls back and looks at him, staring at her with so much love and gratitude. It feels so warm. Penny finds the strength to smile back, “It’s been an honor to be a part of your journey.”
Hui stands back up and Penny goes to continue walking forward. She notices the missing footsteps beside her and looks back to see Hui going in the opposite direction. Oh, is their time up? Penny cups her hands around her mouth and calls out, “HUI!”
The man turns back at her, tilting his head with a smile. Penny waves at him with both arms, like one would do when watching a cruise ship drive away. “Good luck,” she shouts to him with a smile, “with everything.”
Hui smiles back, wider than the others she’s seen today, and raises one hand to wave back. After that, he turns back and continues walking.
Penny watches his back for a few more moments. Eventually, she turns back around and continues her own way forward.
Just like all those years ago, Penny can only watch and let him go his own separate way.
This time, though, it didn’t feel heavy to let go.
Soon, Penny hears voices coming from ahead.
“Sunny, get back here! I know you did it!”
“You can’t prove anything, dear sister!”
“Lor, stop watching and help me with this.”
“I don’t know, man. You seem to be doing just fine on your own.”
“Why was I assigned babysitting duty…”
Penny can’t help the grin that crosses her face hearing the voices of her other sisters. She runs the rest of the way, leaving behind nothing more than what would be thought of as a dream.
Will newer works always be more relevant than works of the past?
Can the same artist value their current work more than the previous?
Or maybe one can learn to love their past creations for what they were for the time.
Maybe there’s no need to compare the worth of one project to another.
Maybe one can simply give their love to anything and everything they have made.
Wouldn’t that make life even just a little bit brighter?
~~ End thoughts ~~
So this specific idea was inspired by multiple songs:
You Are - PENTAGON
The Greatest Wall - HUI & KINO
What Was I Made For? - Billie Eilish
With Universe - PENTAGON
for you - HUI
Me, while writing this: *shaking* “Would Hui even say that??”
Like of course I don’t know him personally so everything this Hui has "said" is all a guessing game
Doesn't stop the anxiety ૮₍˶Ó﹏Ò ⑅₎ა
I’ll be honest, I had no intention of actually fully writing out this idea because it sounds too…crazy and stupid. Like, why would anyone write about this?
But then October 9 came, then “With Universe” was released. I think I just needed to cope really badly back then.
It’s stupid. I've only known these guys for like 9 months and yet I’m so attached to them. So many things happened just as I was getting to know them and it's all been very confusing emotionally.
So this was basically my coping mechanism of a fic.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading this. Or cringed. Either works honestly.
#pentagon#fanfic#ptg#fanfiction#fic#pentagon album#inspired by That Scene in the Barbie move#actually i had this idea before i even watched the Barbie movie#it just gave me the push to start making an initial sketch of the album girls#(yes that means i have little notes on all 13 major korean releases i am mentally stable)#(can it be called a sketch if it's all words not drawings?)#fun fact: i actually finished this last Oct 28#i just entirely forgot i had a tumblr account#god im already regretting this and it's still on drafts right now#anyway uh i dont know what other tags to put so that people who dont want to see it wont see it#learning how to do those colors gave me flashbacks#html i did NOT miss u#wanna know something stupid?#i forgot ptg had a song called “Nostalgia” when i was making the title
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extremely tempted to keep black moth canonically alive actually
#thinking our late night thoughts#have also been thinking of legitimate reasons tumblr rp black moth has been mobian-ified#something something his and aruna’s mutual desire to protect each other was so great in those final moments#that the multiverse made them both mobian to save them#perhaps.#not actually sure yet if he’ll be canonically mobian but the idea of them going on missions and stuff together IS very appealing#<- guy who’s already drawn stuff of that and regrets it isn’t canon#this feels almost directly equivalent to ‘but what if maria lived actually’ things so i ammmm wary#but in this specific case i may well decide my philosophy is ‘whatever’s most fun/comforting’#i can have a few actual feel-good/nice-end aus. as a treat#even if this one starts out downright brutal#but like (gestures at god mephiles who also got an incredible end AND got to come back from the same arc aruna’s from)#(through tears) solaris would want it to be this way#sea talks#mostly in the tags as usual i am sorry
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Koala: well sabo and luffy helped
Dragon: so how's robin
#it's bc sabo talked about him but in my head he doesnt even want to hear about luffy bc of repression and regret....#teach has already a fifth division??????? omg#FUCKING BLACKBEAFD PERVERDES EVERUTHING#episode 754#BURGESS SNEAKED INTO BALTIGO???? NOOOOOOOO#luffy isn't looking for bettles.... strike one#luffy is hanging from the trees like a monkey.... home run#OH MY GOD DIEEE!!!!! NO!!!!!!!#i am so angry this is so bad#buggy city ajdhajdhak#oh he started a mercenary bussiness... buggy hustler.... buggy entrepreneur#hajrudin omg#i love how the animal paintings all struggle to live lmao#lomeo lmaooo i mean yes#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 753#luffy cheering on the dragon ahdjahds#did i say i love when robin is strange and off putting#the dragon wants to finish this so he can curl up and die lmao#usipp giving him a name and everything.... ryuunosuke#'robin help' 'cheers man'#robin crying and everything omg ahdkahdks#law watching all this go down ahdjahdka#zoro just wears a blue shirt when its time to explore the jungle or what.... thats his blue jungle exploring shirt#and why tf did law set zou as a meeting point with his crew.... wasnt there a simplest island jesus christ#is that dog(?) girl wering namis bikini??? am i tripping#omg did they ✂️ .....#YES USOPP NOTICED AHDJAHDKAJSLW#THEY STOLE HER DRIP!!!!!
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starting the day off Wrong with. nerds gummy clusters for breakfast,
#toy txt post#i will regret this#(half joking) specifically to spite that post telling me i Have eat a vegetable#i recognize its True. i dont even personally particularly have trouble w vegetables. i like a good number of vegetables in different ways#but something about it is scraping its nails down the chalkboard the wrong way for me#i cant tell you how i would prefer a post like that to be worded. but smth about it pisses me off idk#im vagueing and idk if i could even find the post but like. i really love op being like 'im saying this in the gentlest way possible' and#then u check the notes and their replies to ppl saying no they dont want to is 'die then' and i cant even blame them for that. it has#many notes im sure theyre out of patience to keep being Gentle. but smth about it is just. Grating#i am not sure theres One good way to get picky eaters to try new foods but god that post is Not vibing with me#i want you all to know im being sooo strong rn ive seen it on my dash TWICE and resisted the urge to reblog it w stupid spiteful shit in the#tags lol. im being so strong. im resisting. im making my own post to say stupid shit in the tags#also god it is such a good thing i already like vegetables bc some of the shit ppl are reccomending in the notes.................#🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢#LIKE to each their own if thats what works then go off everyone likes different things but also oh my fucking god some of that#is like the grossest shit. i am not putting fucking cheese on anything are you insane. creamy soups???? you want me to eat CREAMY SOUPS???#A L F R E D O S A U C E ?????? if thats what it takes yall then go wild but asgajgudvakgeuvuw could NOT be me and that is OKAY#im allowed to dislike things that others like and youre allowed to like things i find. detestable. do not take it personally#keep in mind i find so many things detestable it is Not fucking personal. except sauerkraut. that shit is a hatecrime against me personally#<-joking it is a joke. (its not) it is a joke. keep sauerkraut away from me tho please im dying squirtle#if your method of keeping it away from me is to eat it all and go oooo that was so yummy thats fine. whatever it takes#i do wonder about the ppl suggesting to pickle things to consume vegetables#dont get me wrong i am pro pickles as hell i go insane for pickles. however. im not sure they count as a 'vegetable' from a nutrient#standpoint? also the person in the notes being sad they have a hard time eating vegetables and being like wah i cant eat anything but pizza#i want that person to know pizza is vegetables. YES get off my ass tomato is botanically a fruit shut up vegetables arent real#its all fruit or leafs or seeds. pizza is a vegetable. hell especially if you can put veggie toppings on there instead if just eating plain#cheese pizza like me. thats vegetable. idk how to help ppl who have issues w veggies Texturally bc i Love vegetable textures theyre so much#nicer to me than meat texture. fruit textures also my beloved. unless they arent. bananas love to play games#if its taste thats the issue tho i say find a sauce u like and go crazy. douse it in sauce til its just vegetable texture that tastes like#yummy sauce
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I love taituk they’re so funny. they’re simultaneously really cool and capable and. kind of a loser. wet cat of a woman (not actually a woman). a dykefag AND a fagdyke. they can’t tell when people are flirting with them and suaveness is Not in their vocabulary. everyone wants them and they’re involved with quite literally every crew member their age. their reaction to there being “men’s work” and “women’s work” is “I will simply do everything. all of the work.” they’re fine with the concept & reality of death but thinking about killing somebody with their own hands makes them physically ill. they will quite literally heal their enemies so they don’t die. they’re eldestsiblingcore but only see their siblings like. twice a year. they could be stabbed and bleeding out and their only reaction would be “ugh now my favourite jacket will be stained :/”. they don’t know what’s going on at any given moment. they’ve been permanently banned from the ship’s kitchen even though they’re the captain. by god they’re even transgender. they’ve even got long hair
#oc tag#elli rambles#oc rambles#the thing about killing might be subject to change but this is the vibe for now#taituk#the birates#the sibling thing is just. they had to leave their family behind both because of circumstances (drought. sickness. the only way to provide#for their family was to turn to crime and piracy was the best/safest option) and bc of their thirst for adventure. and though they know#they couldn’t (wouldn’t) have done anything differently their biggest regret in life if not being there to watch their siblings grow up#bc as lovely as being able to exchange letters and visit a few times a year is it just isn’t the same y’know :(#me choosing to give them siblings: how shall I hurt them this time#ok truth is that I chose to give them siblings bc I like them and so they couldn’t be an only child#esp bc there already are so many only children on the ship#which now I’m thinking about it oh god are there even any other eldest siblings in the crew#tetsuo maybe? sumiyati is an older sibling I think but not the Eldest probably. maybe tao? that would be Ouch#considering he can never visit or contact them as a fugitive from the ek#wait. I’ve always seen xuan as an only child considering his. Everything. but him being a stereotypical eldest brother like you see in films#(annoying. constantly blasting music at the loudest volume. vaguely alt. etc) would also fit actually#and would hurt considering his backstory (his family dies of an illness and he’s the only one who survives)#the way he’d feel sososo guilty…#anyway. this post was about taituk#conclusion: I LOVE THEM#my babygirl made of dualities <3
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Every time I say I am never going to round and back a book again. Guess what I'm doing right now.
#and guess what I am deeply regretting.#rounded spines just look so much nicer :(#and honestly with this book I could have gotten away with just rounding but no i couldn't be satisfied with that#I've also overexerted myself when i was already low on spoons so. fuck me i guess.#it usually ends up not looking too bad once it's cased in but the in between stage is god awful#and I've already committed to another rounded project which will have to be backed. fuck.#bookbinding is nothing if not 90% trial and error so we're LEARNING. she says through tears.#anyway. what's going on with you guys?#i don't remember if i have a bookbinding tag#bookbinding
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hmmph... people in jet set radio tag talking abot leak stuff and wiki vandalism. when every body should be talking about. ME AND MY FRIENDS MAEKING EDGY BRAINWEIRD BULLSHIT . (joke) (nobody would even know about this properly outside of discord) (just wanted to make a post because my brain is full of many thoughts) (jet set radio fans dm me if you want my bad yoyo opinions) (there is a lot of that. and other dubious opinions too)
#jet set radio#making this post so fast so that i can't regret it and not post it :thumbsup:#ULTIMATELY LIKE. i think i really want to join a jet set radio discord but im wayyyy too afraid to#so i just kind of keep waving jsr in front of everybody else like Hey. Hey can you look at this? For me?#which admittedly i did drag AT LEAST one other person into my madness so im doing something right. but that is not enough for me#and like idk if this fixation will fizzle in a month. its already lasted scary longer than expected#and done scary things that most hypfixes don't (unpublished 8000 word fanfic. god help me)#and even that aside i have no idea whether or not this fandom is receptive to hcs that are like. idk. this brand of weird and kind of edgy#[long ramble over the nature of ''dark'' headcanons and how i am afraid of getting typecast to a kind of writer i am not removed]#Any Way tl;dr any jet set radio fans want to stick their hands through the bars of my enclosure please dm me. its normal in here (LIE)#aaand hmm that. took up way more tags than expected. i wanted to . actually say my piece on the leak#i guess short version of my thoughts on the leak is ''nothing we can do but wait and see if its real''#but also regardless of my opinion on the leak itself (dont care for the artstyle much but eh) (also its funny that corn isnt there. rip)#i think ultimately i am Against the idea of a new jsr game. something something capitalism and nostalgia pandering#but whatever nothing i can do but wait.#everybody just play Jet Set Radio Paradox instead (you can't) (it does not exist) (why do i keep doing parentheticals on this post)#wow this post is a solid 0/10. posting it now so i dont just delete it#error 0
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Catch me openly weeping rewatching Death Parade… hang on I gotta go hug my mom
(Spoilers and a tw in tags sorry)
#death parade#death parade spoilers#(in tags)#ok so the thing that really fucking got me was the guy who committed suicide thinking about his mom and regretting hurting her#suicide tw#(forgot that one)#I had an attempt in 2016 and my mom came to see me in the hospital and she was just so scared and distraught it makes me teary to think abt#’why did I do it? god mom I’m so sorry…’ BAHHAHASHSHFFFGDFF😭😫😨😭🥺 god fuck brb sobbing#also then at the end of the episode he takes both the depressed guy and the single mom who went through shit and says#’you did the best you could. both of you. you did the best you could’ and they just fucking SOB into his chest utterly broken down#that’s what broke me I was already crying now I’m bawling
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