#(girl who never finished the show but finished the manga)

[jacuzziwaters]

If you haven't already remembered, the music in that snow bridge video is Lost My Pieces from Toradora

OMGGGGGGGGGGGG

OMG THANK YOU ANON

[la-patrona-magdalena]

Synopsis:

You always wanted your family to look at you, even just once. At least with a bit of the affection they gave to the portraits of your mother. Too bad that when they finally did, you were looking at the pages of a comic that showed the cruel future.

Inspired by the manhwa: no place for the Fake Princess

Warnings: English is not my first language, so I used a translator. Yandere content, neglect, abandonment, angst (?), allusions to death, original character (not the reader), allusions to torture. I try to keep the gender neutral,but in part there are mostly feminine pronouns. If any warnings are missing here, please let me know.

Disclaimer: This fanfic is for personal reading only. The use of this text for AI model training, data mining, commercial purposes, or any automated reproduction is strictly prohibited without the explicit consent of the author. Translation or reposting to other platforms is also strictly prohibited without the author's permission. Thank you.

You can read the fanfic in its original language (Spanish) on my AO3

prologue - Next chapter

Masterlist

Chapter one - A glimpse into the family secret

The knight of the night, the man with a thousand plans, Gotham's greatest detective, was holding his daughter, Serelith, with such tenderness and delicacy. She was crying in her arms, scared. And rightly so: Serelith had never lived through anything like this before. Her other siblings had some pity for her now, even Damian showed a hint of sympathy, probably because of the fear they all felt over what could’ve happened to her at the Joker’s hands.

Then there was the other daughter. Batman's illegitimate child, the youngest of the Waynes, no, the youngest of the Valfinsas, watching with tearful eyes from behind the bars as the family she grew up with held their blood daughter close. Leaving her alone.

The Joker just laughed, shoving the girl hard against the bars. -Hahaha! Looks like Batsy's got his favorites- he laughed louder. All the girl could do was stare through tearful eyes, praying, just once. for someone to turn around. To look at you.

-The Joker can wait. Priority is getting Serelith out of here- That’s what Dick said. The perfect big brother. Someone who, like her, had also been adopted. He handed Serelith a pill and a bottle of water. Carefully, they took Serelith away, leaving the building where the two of them had been held captive.Leaving you there. Not looking back. Not noticing you were missing.

The Joker let out a cold laugh, already getting ready to have fun with the new toy Bruce had left behind. -Don’t worry. I won’t take my eyes off you- he scoffed, looking right at you as you cried. How you wished you had gotten out of here, out of a place where no one ever looked at you.

You threw the comic across the bed, looking at it like it was the devil himself.

A few weeks ago, you'd decided to try reading comics to bond with your family. You'd once overheard Stephanie teasing Damian about reading and drawing manga, and maybe Tim might be into it too, right? After all, there are games based on comics. So, you spent your allowance on one, hoping it'd at least end with you arguing with Damian about the difference between manga and comics, or maybe Tim would recommend one based on one of his games.

You'd gone to a store after finishing your homeschooling session with Alfred, browsed a few comics, and then, suddenly, felt a strong bump against your side, right where your bag was hanging. When you looked down, you noticed three comics had fallen to the floor. You tried putting them back, but couldn’t figure out where they were supposed to go. With no other option, you looked for help from the clerk—who didn’t even bother to pay attention to you.

-Another kid trying to sneak in their hero stories? Listen, girl, you're not going to get famous just because someone randomly reads a comic drawn by a 12 years old-.

No matter how much you insisted they weren't yours, he didn't believe you. You got kicked out of the store. Great. But hey, at least you had three new comics to read for free! And not just any comics, they were about Gotham's great vigilante himself! Not exactly what you were going for, but maybe you'd get to connect with someone in your family by talking about the city's crime and its paper version.

You got back to Wayne Manor all excited, and started reading the three comics that had literally fallen from the sky.

And that's how you ended up here.

Batman: Bloodline. That was the name of the comic saga you just finished reading, the one that left a bitter taste in your mouth. At first, after reading the opening pages, you thought it was fake, a bad joke, some prankster who thought it would be hilarious to realistically draw the millionaire playboy dressed as a bat, acting as Gotham’s nocturnal hero. No wonder the shop clerk didn’t believe you. This probably wouldn’t help you get any closer to your brothers, but maybe if you showed it to Dick or Jason, they’d make fun of Bruce with you. So you kept reading.

But then all your siblings showed up, as the Robins and the Batgirls. And then you appeared. Not playing any role, not as a hero, just you. The daughter born from one of Bruce’s deepest loves, a model beautiful both inside and out, who had died just days after giving birth to you. A child who looked nothing like her mother, and even less like her father.

Everything was… eerily accurate. The mannerisms, the backstories, everyone’s personalities, they were spot on. Even the inside of the manor was a perfect match! You kept reading, uneasily, and that’s when she showed up: a girl with Bruce’s same stoic seriousness, and your mother’s same warmth. The drawing copied her features almost perfectly.

The comic was about her; Serelith. How she was found, as the original daughter. How she adapted to the family. And finally, how you and she were kidnapped by the Joker. How the family saved her. And left you behind.

You don’t want to believe it. Even if that girl crying behind the bars looked so much like you. Even if every detail lined up so perfectly. You didn’t want to believe that this family, the same one you beg and plead for even a crumb of love, forgot about you in such a horrible moment.

You hide the three comics under your pillow. You refuse to eat when Alfred calls for dinner, and you fake being asleep until the night falls.

You check the time on your phone, waiting for the right moment to come. You get up from bed and carefully make your way through the giant manor, until you’re standing in the same room where the old clock is. If it’s true, if they’re really Gotham’s vigilantes , they would notice immediately, and all of this will have been for nothing… or maybe they won’t even glance in your direction.

You didn’t see anyone for a few minutes from your hiding spot. You thought maybe they’d glanced in your direction, and were just waiting for you to leave.

Until you saw Tim, Zesti drink in hand, clear signs of sleeplessness under his eyes, dark circles, and wearing his Red Robin suit, walk up to the clock and set the time to 10:47. The same time as in the comic.

You felt your heart beating faster and faster. You wanted to cry just from seeing that time there, right in front of you. Mocking you.

You couldn’t take it anymore. You ran off, tripping over a few things along the way.

You got to your room and threw yourself into bed. You could feel the comics crinkle beneath your pillow as you laid your head down, just like your heart crumbled when you realized… that part of the comic was real. Which meant not only that you weren’t the daughter of that woman, but that all these years, and all the ones still to come, meant nothing to your family.

You feel the tears slowly forming in your eyes. You want to do something, think of a plan to avoid the day you end up in the Joker’s hands, but your mind is clouded. You try to sit up, feeling the anxiety course through your body. You need to start planning how to escape the Joker, how to live away from the Waynes. You don’t have time for whatever’s happening to you. Your trembling hand goes to search for the comics under your pillow, but it freezes when you hear someone knock on the door and then open it without waiting for an answer.

You turn to look at the entrance, finding Tim there, clearly exhausted. Your hands shift to clutch the sheets, gripping them tightly as you see Tim in his Red Robin suit standing in front of you.

Tim’s had a rough few days. He hasn’t slept well due to a case, and there’s a small crisis at Wayne Enterprises. He almost went without a shower for more than a week, he was close to breaking his own record. The lack of sleep made his instincts and everything he’s learned as a Robin falter. Even so, he insisted on going out tonight to look for clues. He got dressed and ready to leave with the others, and with a brain half-asleep, he didn’t realize something, or someone, was watching him as he was about to leave. Until he heard a noise that alerted him. By reflex, he turned to look and saw your smaller figure collide with a couch, then get up and keep running.

The sleep vanished in an instant, and on instinct, he ran after you, thinking about how he would convince you not to tell Bruce you’d seen him.

He opened the door without asking, just knocking out of courtesy, expecting to find you excited, shouting with joy at the discovery that your older brother was one of Gotham’s heroes. But instead, he saw you, breathing heavily, clutching the sheets tightly, crying.

You’ve always been sensitive, crying over the loss of your mother or because Bruce didn’t give you attention. He’d always agreed with Steph and Jason that you might be overreacting. Everyone in the family had lost someone, and it’s hard for Bruce to give more attention with so many kids and the mantle of Batman weighing on him. Even if you didn’t know the latest, you should be more patient. Besides, didn’t you have Damian keeping you company? And he was sure that at least once, you’d gone to the library with Babs…

Even though part of him thought you were exaggerating, the way you cried now, the way you trembled and avoided looking at him like he was a traitor, told him this time was different. And it made him feel something pressing inside of him.

He slowly approached the bed and sat next to you, studying you more carefully. You seemed to be on the verge of a panic attack. He tried calling your name to get your attention, but you didn’t respond.

Tim quickly thought about how to calm you down. You weren’t quite in the middle of an anxiety attack yet, so he might be able to stop it from escalating. He scanned your room, searching for something that might help him hold you steady.

…

Has your room always been this… empty? For being the daughter of a model and a millionaire, one would expect your room to be full of toys and luxuries. But it’s almost bare. There are a few things visible: misshapen cushions with exposed threads, a blanket of mismatched colors, and some decorations hanging from the shelves and walls, arranged from the ugliest to the most beautiful.

For your luck, he manages to spot a small blue plush dog on a shelf. He quickly grabs it and forces it into your smaller, more fragile hands.

– Squeeze – He orders. You obey. Your mind, at some point, kept replaying the comic's drawings, where they abandoned you, where the same person in front of you did nothing.

– Breathe with me, at least once, breathe – Tim's voice reaches your ears. By instinct, you follow, tightening the plush toy even more in your hands. The images slowly fade from your mind, what you felt could’ve been worse begins to vanish, and your tearful gaze meets a pair of blue eyes looking back at you with concern.

Tim feels a small relief inside him that you didn’t end up in a full-blown panic attack, but he's still worried about you. Why did finding out it was Red Robin cause that reaction? Why, all of a sudden, aren’t you looking at him with pleading eyes wanting attention, but instead, avoiding his gaze? The silence between you two forms slowly, becoming more noticeable, until you wipe away your tears. You summon strength to look at him and break the silence with a voice firm but trembling slightly.

–I won’t tell anyone you’re Red Robin… I promise… you can leave now – You didn’t feel like explaining to Tim that you found a comic from the future, you weren’t even sure he would believe you, or if he would listen.

He, on the other hand, was shocked. Were you kicking him out of your room? Was this your reaction to finding out he's Red Robin? Did you not care? What's wrong with you? He looked at you, still incredulous. Why were you acting like this all of a sudden? Or had you always been, and I just hadn’t paid enough attention to you? He replayed the events of the week in his mind, remembering that you once talked about going to buy comics, maybe like you tried to talk at dinner… dinner from… how long ago was that? He kept going over what he remembered, what could’ve triggered your near panic attack? Why weren’t you looking at him like before? And why, now that you did, was it with coldness and pain? Then it clicked. Maybe you heard his recent conversation with Jason? Both had mentioned what he talked about with Steph, how sometimes you cried too much and seemed exaggerated. Was that it? That was probably it, right? Maybe not the reason for your near anxiety crisis, but it was definitely why you wanted him out of your room. You didn’t want him to keep seeing you like this, did you? Well, he wasn’t the best at handling emotions, that was more Dick’s thing, but still, he couldn’t leave you emotionally constipated. They already had enough of that from Bruce, Jason, and Damian. So, he left your room, informed Bruce that he wouldn’t go out with them tonight, changed out of his suit into pajamas, and came back to your room. You looked at him confused. He didn’t blame you, he had never been close to you like this before, but now, he wanted to be. He wanted you to stop looking at him like that.

Thank God you took the opportunity when Tim left to move the comics. You couldn’t do much, just toss them under your bed. You were hoping he wouldn’t look there now that it seemed he wanted to sleep in your room. He lay next to you, and you gave him his space. You both stared at each other in silence for a few seconds, until he finally decided to break it.

–Are you okay?���

It was a simple question, short and direct, yet you just stared at the ceiling. Thinking about his question and everything else.

Some comics, from who knows where, revealed to you that this isn’t your biological family, that they’re also Gotham’s vigilantes, and that for a girl they’d known for only a few months, they abandoned you; To the daughter who, even if not by blood, had been part of the family all its life

Should you have seen it coming? Yes. Ever since you can remember, no one in this family has really worried about you, paid attention to you, or even looked at you. No parent events, no movie nights, nothing. You don’t have memories of anyone except Alfred giving you ice cream for every good grade on your tests.

Why were they different with you? More than half of the family doesn’t share blood, yet they still love and care for each other. Couldn’t you get just a little bit of that affection? What was different?

Was it because you took the place of your mother’s true daughter? Maybe they always felt like you didn’t belong, like you weren’t what they expected.

Serelith was the original, the real one. That’s why she earned their affection. That’s why everyone else cares about her. Not even your brothers… No, not even Bruce’s adopted sons or his two biological children lied. Only you. You were the only one who entered the family through a lie you never even told.

They’re detectives. Even if they don’t say anything or investigate, their instincts probably tell them you’re not who you’re supposed to be…

And now that you’ve confirmed the comics are real, it means you’re destined to suffer at the hands of the Joker.

In the comics, he finds out about Bruce’s “beloved” daughters, the only ones in the family who aren’t vigilantes, and kidnaps both of you. The family quickly comes up with a plan to search for you… to search for her. Bruce and the others completely forget you exist, leaving you at the mercy of one of Gotham’s worst criminals.

Were you okay? …No, you weren’t. Not while you remained in this family that doesn’t really feel like yours. What you want most now is to get out of here, for the Joker to never see you as Batman’s daughter, for no one to see you at all, until you’re far from where you never belonged. Only then would you be okay. But for now…

– Yeah, I’m fine – you answered, sounding a little too calm for Tim’s liking. He just sighed beside you and turned to face the other way. He couldn’t bear to look at you. Tomorrow, he’d make sure to finish the case and the situation at Wayne Enterprises as fast as possible, so he could focus entirely on figuring out what was going on with you. – Good night – Tim said as he tried to fall asleep. – Good night – you answered, turning your back to him as well, already thinking about how you’d make a plan tomorrow to leave this place as soon as possible.

This was supposed to be posted yesterday, but I had trouble concentrating and translating it into English. I’ll try to update this fic every Friday, or at least every two weeks if time allows. If for some reason I can’t stick to the two-week schedule (which probably means I have writer’s block and won’t be writing for a while), I’ll let you know. I’ll probably update on Ao3 first because the fanfic was originally written in my native language, and I’m posting everything there in its original form, in case anyone wants to check it out. On another note, I wonder if anyone will notice that the section dividers are different, one has Batfam and Philomel images in the background, and the other is empty…

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@lettucel0ver @sirenetheblogger

[loovser]

the guy she was interested in wasn’t a guy at all - chapter 1

synopsis turns out the cute guy from the cd store is actually… a girl.

cw: heavily inspired in the manga with the same title if you couldnt tell, for obvious reasons ellie is often referred to with masculine pronouns (💔) just on reader’s direct thoughts about her or as she is talking about the guy from the cd store. cursing, ellie is down baaaad, cheap flirting (quite literally lol), conflicting thoughts, miscommunication.

wc: 2.9k

you found yourself at the same damn cd store you’ve been to the last five days, which is the amount of time you’ve acknowledged its existence. since you did, something — actually, someone — has been drawing you towards it day after day. you tell yourself it’s not that serious, you just need another rock band cd. who cares if you already bought four of them? you definitely don’t.

as the little bell above the door announces your arrival, ellie’s attention drifts to you. it’s like she’s been waiting for you to show up today, too. and she has. just like she waits for you to show up at the classes you both attend in college — not that she would admit it.

your heart flutters in your chest. you’ve never been this interested in someone before. like, ever. you’d even wonder if you are really into guys at all. but you never gave it that much thought, since you’ve never really been into any girls either… plus, you had other things to worry about.

but now? now, it’s different. there’s something about this guy that works at this cd store that has you wrapped around his finger. even though you’ve never seen his full face — because if you had, you’d know she’s a girl. that’s so fucking pathetic. is what you think every time and yet you can’t seem to get away from the grip those green eyes have over you.

“let me guess- another deftones cd?” is what she asks when she approaches you.

���actually… do you have any recommendations? i’ve been wanting to try something new.” smooth. you are proud to have come up with this excuse while thinking about how to get to know her better, during some random class. her eyes narrow a little and you imagine her smiling under the face mask.

“yeah, um… have you ever heard of sick habit?” she asks, leading you towards one of the smaller cd shelves. you follow, asking yourself how can his voice be so damn soft? which, honestly, just attracts you even more.

“i’ve never, actually.” you chuckle lightly and ellie almost gets stuck on the way you look when you do it. just like she did the other times she’s seen it in class.

she clears her throat, grabbing a cd from the bottom of the shelf, your chuckle still echoing inside of her head. “they’re great. you should give ‘em a listen”

“i definitely will.” your cheeks burn when your fingers brush as you take the cd from her hand. “how much is it?”

“it’s on the house. just tell me what you think about it after.”

your eyes widen at that. he’s giving it to me for free?! the thought makes you smile and ellie watches your reaction — silently thanking the universe that you can’t see how pink her cheeks turned under the mask.

“i… really?” she nods. “thank you! i’ll come back when i finish listening to it.”

she wants to ask why you don’t talk to her in class, but she keeps it to herself. “i’ll wait for it.” it’s what she goes for, instead. you’ve seen each other in class twice since you started going to the store, maybe you were just… shy? or you didn’t recognize her?

she watches as you smile at her and leave the store after thanking her once again. ellie didn’t want people from college to know she works there, — hence the face mask — but she wouldn’t mind it if you did. during classes she’s just someone that no one else seems to notice. and she likes it that way, it’s peaceful, doesn’t draw attention.

you, on the other hand, are the complete opposite. you draw attention everywhere you go, even if it’s unintended. you are popular in college, having your own group of friends and lots of guys drooling over you. not that you pay any mind to them, as you know what’s worth your time and what’s not.

as you walk to your apartment, you know exactly where your attention is going to be for the next few hours: sick habit’s whole discography. you were so excited about her giving you the cd for free that you barely said bye, not trusting yourself to be around her without stuttering or doing something stupid.

it’s so weird to think that someone you barely know can have this kind of effect on you. i know nothing about him! is he even a him? i never asked his name, never saw his face. he’s always wearing oversized shirts or hoodies and pants. i haven’t even seen his whole hair, always hidden in hoods or caps. is it short? is it long? you groan. overthinking is a bitch.

it feels like you are going crazy. maybe it’s all this mystery that attracts you. is it even healthy to be this obsessed over someone? you know it’s probably not, but at this point you don’t care anymore.

as you finally reach your apartment, discarding your shoes by the door, you sigh, quickly getting in and throwing your purse on the couch. there are so many things you should be doing instead of this. like the visual effects paper you kept postponing and is literally due tomorrow.

you huff, already plopping down on the floor, in front of the cd player. maybe you could ask that girl in your class, that sits next to you, to help you with it. or you should just be responsible for once and do it right now.

however, as soon as you press play and the guitar chimes in, starting the first song, you are sure that there’s no way you could stop now.

ellie is late. that’s actually an understatement, given the current situation. she missed her first class and is really late for the next one. which is VFX — visual effects. the only class that she shares with the film major students today.

which means, the only class she shares with you.

not that it matters, right? i mean… is she really that eager to see you? if someone asked it to any of the poor souls that have almost been dragged with her while she rushes through the dorm’s hallway, the answer would be yes. if someone asked her, though? of course not!

her wrinkled flannel and skinny jeans combo turns out to be quite comfortable for a little marathon, as she runs towards the class’s building. she spotted jesse, one of her only friends, near it. he mouthed a clear ‘what the fuck are you doing’ but she just signaled that she would text him later, entering the building and fleeing up the stairs to the second floor.

by the time she arrived the classroom, she was a panting mess, totally out of breath, hands on her knees as she tried to compose herself before opening the door. through the little glass window, she could see some students. she saw you.

big mistake, she felt even more out of breath. you looked so pretty, writing something down in a rushed manner, sitting on your usual spot. her chair, next to yours, empty.

she took a deep breath, running her hand through her short auburn hair as she entered the classroom, murmuring a tiny ‘excuse me’ and going to her seat.

of course she has to smell great, too. is what she thinks as she sits down, trying not to throw any glances at you. would you talk to her today? she hoped you would.

but as the class went by, you haven’t said anything. she couldn’t stop throwing glances at you. you caught her twice, the second time offering her a soft smile, which almost made her melt in her seat.

when Mr. Barbosa finished the class everyone started gathering their things to leave. ellie was no different — until one of your friends nearly yelled, making her freeze on her spot as she heard it.

“he gave you the cd for free?!”

he…? they must not be talking about her, right? she tries shaking her thoughts away, but couldn’t help hearing the conversation.

“that’s totally flirting! i can’t believe the guy you’ve been drooling over for days just hit on you during his shift.” your other friend adds.

what the fuck? it can’t be. you thought she was a guy? i mean… yes, she doesn’t dress all girly. and you can’t really see her face with the face mask on. but still… a fucking guy? really?

“you should ask for his number! what is the cd about again?”

“mmm… it’s from a really cool band. sick habit. i kinda listened to all of their discography on spotify, too” you explain, shyly. but genuine. ellie’s heart is beating so fast that she is having trouble hearing anything besides it, but she heard you.

she wanted to hear you telling her that later, on her shift. but she was so confused… she should just clear this all up. and that’s what she would do. she couldn’t lead you on, it would be so cruel. are you even into girls?

“you have such a weird music taste.” one of your friends say, giggling.

you don’t usually care about other people’s opinion, but somehow, when it comes to music, you’ve always felt so different from everybody else in your circle. they always point it out, too, which makes you uncomfortable.

“crap, leah, we have to meet jake at starbucks, like, right now. he’s got our stuff” your other friend pointed and they both said bye to you, rushing out of class.

ellie watches it all — the way your smile fades a bit when your friend says you had a weird taste in music. you really don’t. she thinks your music taste is fire.

she wanted to comfort you, somehow. her mind was a mess, not knowing if she should stay away from you or give in to her desire to get to know you better.

then, she sees it. your wired earbuds, dropped on the floor. she grabs them, getting closer to you. you get slightly startled, until you realize it’s her. ellie, the girl that sits next to you. she has green eyes, you would always see them through her glasses. cute freckles too, all over her cheeks and nose. and a lip ring.

you noticed her, sometimes. like, really noticed. she was pretty. but you barely talked. not because you didn’t like her, she was just usually very quiet. you even thought about asking for her help with your VFX paper, — which is still unfinished — but you didn’t.

she leans forward a bit, putting something in your ear. your earbuds. you didn’t even realize you had dropped them, since they are still connected to your phone, as ‘loser’ by beck is blasting through them and can be faintly heard by the both of you.

her fingers brushes at your ear, as she looks down at you. you freeze. her eyes, for a moment, really reminded you of the guy from the cd store.

“you dropped it.” she flashes you a crooked smile. “this song rocks, by the way.”

and with that, she’s gone. leaving a starstruck you behind.

you check your reflection in the mirror one last time, making sure you look good. you like the way your clothes fit on your body. you’ve worn this outfit a lot already — never to the cd store, though.

the time has come. finally you would go back there and see her again. it’s been so long (less than 24 hours). to be honest, time really seems to pass slower when you crave to see someone. and she hasn’t left your mind for even a second.

meanwhile, ellie was at the store since her classes ended. joel asked her to come a little earlier today to help him unpack the new arrivals and that’s what’s been keeping her busy all afternoon. which is great because she was almost going insane in her own head, thinking about what she should do about your… situation.

it’s way more complicated than she thought. because, even if she didn’t like to admit, she did care about you. so what if you barely know each other? you’ve always been nice to her — at least at the times you spoke to each other.

also, you guys share classes together. three, every week. she sits next to you in two of them. it would be so awkward if she just revealed herself to you. she tried imagining doing it naturally, just taking the mask off at some point. but she never did that, so it wouldn’t feel natural at all.

to be honest, she didn’t even know if she wanted you to know she is actually a girl. not a random girl, but your classmate. what if you stopped going to the store? changed your seat? just out of embarassment. ellie didn’t want that to happen.

she sighed, rolling her hoodie’s sleeves up, as she grabbed another box of cds to put on display, approaching one of the many shelves and kneeling down on the floor. she put the box down and took the nirvana cds, organizing them on the shelf.

the store is very cozy. there’s just something about it that makes her feel like she’s home. maybe the fact that her dad owns it? yes, that could be it, indeed. but she would like to work there even if it wasn’t joel’s.

music has always been a part of her life. a big one. all of her childhood memories are filled with songs. mostly rock ones. when she was little, joel and her uncle, tommy, were always playing something for her, letting her sing even if she didn’t really know the words. she grew up playing instruments and being surrounded by melodies.

since they opened Firefly, a few years ago, she would play among the cd shelves all day long, after school. the regular costumers adored her. some still do, visiting every now and then. she was so lost in those nostalgic memories that she didn’t even hear you arriving.

you recognized ‘tonight, tonight’ by the smashing pumpkins playing through the store’s speakers. not too loud, just loud enough to be comfortable and settle into the background. you smiled to yourself when your eyes laid on the figure knelt down in front of a shelf.

adjusting your purse, you made your way towards her. you took in her clothes, noticing something you didn’t see before. a tattoo, on her right forearm. a moth and fern? damn. it’s beautiful.

“i didn’t know you have a tattoo.” you say softly, making your presence known.

oh fuck. your words take ellie out of her thoughts, she turns to look at you. “you like it?”

“yeah, it’s beautiful.” you get closer to her and she nearly panicks, standing up.

“i was waiting for you.” it blurts out before she can stop herself. she wasn’t supposed to flirt with you, god. she should tell you the truth.

you blush at her bluntness. “have you, now?” you chuckle. “guess i couldn’t leave you hanging.”

“im glad you didn’t… so, did you like sick habit?” ellie asks, even if she already knows the answer.

“a lot. i had to listen to their discography on spotify after i finished the cd.”

“couldn’t get enough, huh?”

you almost shiver at the answer. why does he sound so good? “i guess not. in fact, i came here to buy another cd from them.”

“so you didn’t come to see me?” she teases, mentally facepalming herself right after. why the fuck can’t i stop flirting with her?

but then you chuckle shyly and she knows exactly why. she just can’t get enough of you, apparently.

“well, i… also want your number.” you shrug, trying to act nonchalant but your heart is beating like crazy. so hard you hope she can’t hear it.

talking about hearing things, you definitely didn’t miss the hoarse chuckle that escaped her lips. muffled by the face mask, but still there. your stomach might just fly on its own by now.

she pretends to ponder for a moment, just to tease you. she couldn’t really say no to you, could she?

“fair enough. do you know which cd you want to take today?”

“their second album.”

apparently, it was right next to your head, on the shelf behind you, as she gently sticks her tattoed arm next to your face, taking the cd and murmuring “great choice.”

you swallow hard as you stare at each other. it feels like everything around you just froze. her green eyes piercing through yours like she’s seeing inside your brain.

“there’s a girl in my college that reminds me of you.” you say, simply.

not imagining the turmoil it causes in ellie’s head. cursing internally and praying that you didn’t recognize her. but also…

she remembered me?

is what she thinks, before clearing her throat and answering “she must be pretty, then”

“cocky much?” you tease, but you are not denying it.

ellie laughs and your heart swells. “it’s $9,99” she hands you the cd.

you give her ten dollars. she writes something down and hands it to you. one cent.

and a card with her number written on it.

next

end notes: OKAAAYYYY so this was nerve-wracking 😅 this is my first work EVERR and english is not my first language so pls be nice 🤓 i hope you liked reading it tho, lmk if you did 💘

[aureatchi]

⋆ ✦ ˚｡⋆ THIS SUMMER NIGHT WE FIND SCATTERED DREAMS, I ONCE AGAIN RUN IN THE STARLIGHT ft. dazai, chuuya, fyodor, sigma.

— what it’s like to stargaze with them. (& more)

a/n. sadly, i have yet to see the aurora borealis and in general, seldom get to see the stars. (light pollution my no.1 enemy !!) but a girl can dream :) (& distract herself from the latest bsd chapters..)

info. fem!reader. fluff. soft everyone lol. some of them are nerds & ramble abt stars. :) + a little poetic. mentions of greek mythology. kissing. buildup to actual topic. profanities in chuuya’s & he may or may not use sskk to help. bsd manga/ability spoilers in fyodor’s.

DAZAI : so in this instance, i’d be perseus, and you’d be andromeda. — he listens to everything you have to say.

Your palm in his, the brunette’s pretty fingers wrapped around yours. He softly massaged your hand as you began telling him, your starstruck lover a story under the show of constellations. It had formed into a little routine since the first time you stargazed with him as a date.

“There was this princess,” you started. “Princess Andromeda. She was a very beautiful woma-”

“You’re more beautiful, though,” Dazai interrupted. You didn’t even get in two complete sentences without his commentary. You sat a bit awestruck while he delivered a kiss to your hand.

“Continue, bella,” big brown eyes teased you.

You hastily recovered. “…She was beautiful. And her mother—Queen Cassiopeia—who was very prideful, decided to brag to Poseidon, the Greek god of the seas, that she was prettier than his daughters.”

“I mean, that’s understandable. I brag about you all the time! Why shouldn’t the pretty girl be shown off?”

“Shut up,” you chuckled, reminiscing over the times the detective had shown you off. Whenever you decided to visit the Armed Detective Agency’s office with Dazai, Kunikida would never hear the end of it. When you two went out to eat, he would flatter your name away. “This gorgeous girl would like to order…” “May I please get a table for the angelic lady and I?”

He never failed to fluster you.

“Anyway, Poseidon got angry and decided to send a sea monster to destroy their kingdom. The only way the monster could be pacified was if it could devour Andromeda.”

“A damsel in distress,” Dazai nodded and then dramatically pretended like he was the helpless princess on the ocean. He completely pulled over the blanket the two of you were sharing, using it as a cape—“Someone save me! I’m going to be eaten by a sea monster!”

“‘Samu! I’m cold!”

“Ah, sorry. Perhaps you are the princess, and you need saving from this icy night!” He rewrapped the blanket over your shoulder.

“Stop interrupting me; I’m trying to tell you something!” It was nowhere near icy, but your lover proved his dramaticism even further when a tuft of brown hair grazed your shoulder. He had rested his head on you.

“Oka-ay—sorry, continue!”

“Meanwhile, Perseus—I told you last time, the man who killed Medusa—found Andromeda while flying over with his horse, Pegasus. He immediately fell in love with her, so he slayed the sea monster and rescued her from the rock she was chained to.”

“What a hero,” Dazai said. “So they lived happily ever after?”

“Not yet. Perseus asked Andromeda’s father for permission to marry her but discovered she was already set to marry someone else. And the man she was engaged to got angry that Perseus wanted to marry her.”

“Of course,” he sighed, which puzzled you a bit, but you’d return to his comment later. “I’m rooting for Perseus, though.”

“Well, good for you because the two fought, and Perseus won by showing the other guy Medusa’s head.”

Dazai chuckled. “Nice move! He turned his enemy into his trophy. Imagine if we did that to all our enemies!”

“I think then we’d have a whole army of statues,” you laughed. “But now, he and Andromeda married, and they were able to live happily ever after.

“The gods placed them in the sky so their story would be remembered eternally.” Finished with your recount, you gazed up at the stars.

“The North Star,” you pointed, and when you saw the brunette’s bronze eyes squint, trying to see what you were talking about, you moved closer until you were halfway on his lap.

You took his palm in yours and guided it to a single star.

“That one. All the characters’ constellations I mentioned in the story revolve around that star. Perseus with his sword, Andromeda flying on Pegasus...”

“Huh? That’s the North Star? Isn’t it supposed to be the brightest in the sky or something?” It didn’t stand out from the rest as much as he thought.

You giggled. “That’s a myth, ‘samu. It’s funny you didn’t know that.”

He shrugged. “I never really had time to appreciate and learn about something so peaceful like nature until now.” He turned to you.

“Until you.”

You weren’t sure how, but it was almost as if the moonlight had carved out his pretty face. Ethereal, you had called the moon, and it reflected in your lover’s features. His eyes took in the charm of the millions of lights in the night and synthesized the feeling to bring it back to you.

“If I were one of the gods, I would’ve created a whole galaxy reflecting your soul.”

In the midst of terror and chaos, the detective’s eyes revolved around humans and their violence rather than around the sun and the planets. Eyes and soul—how else could he focus on anything else when that’s all life showed him?

“Because I see the constellations in you—Andromeda, Pegasus, Carina, Orion…” it had been a few months, and throughout you had shown and told him all the stories behind the stars in the sky.

“And now I can stop to smell the flowers, love. I can watch the Ursa Minor, even if I still find it hard to sleep.” You were the bridge to his bronze gaze and iron marrow—you showed him that you were human, but that a heart could really exist without violence or malice.

I see a reason why the nebulas are placed as they are, even if stories are just stories. I see a reason I’m here. With you.

He sealed the thought with a kiss to your lips, under the celestial moon and the heavens’ watch.

You always wondered why Dazai paid such close attention whenever you started rambling—initially, you didn’t think he’d care that much about tales of space. But you understood him a bit better now, his complex heart. You held onto him a bit tighter to him as you kissed him back.

…

“Oh yeah. What did you mean when you said ‘of course,’ when I started talking about Perseus having to fight over another guy for Andromeda?”

And Dazai was his lighthearted self once again.

“We’re definitely Andromeda and Perseus in another universe,” Dazai winked. “You’ve always deserved to be treated like a princess! I would totally save you from a sea monster. And I’d be an equestrian if I could too—even better, a flying one!”

“Sure…”

“C’mon, bella, you see me at those horse-racing events all the time! Anyway, most important of all, I had to fight for you. Such a tough world when every other man is also at your feet.” He crossed his arms. “Having Medusa’s head would’ve made things so much easier! I really would’ve had a whole army of stone statues if I did.”

“No, you really didn’t need it at all,” you replied, laughing at Dazai, who was now pouting.

“Osamu the demigod: slayer of monsters or not, I only have eyes for you.” You kissed him on the cheek.

“Unlike Andromeda, I wouldn’t let two men fight over me and marry the one who wins.

“I would just choose you right away.”

CHUUYA : babydoll, you’re worth more than all those stars combined. — he only gives you the best.

“Ah, that’s unfortunate. Thank you for informing me, though,” you said before hanging up the phone.

You didn’t sue them on the line, albeit irritated. Tonight, you were supposed to have a date with Chuuya at one of the fancy restaurants he somehow discovered more of in the city when you thought you finally visited them all, but your reservations were cancelled last minute.

“Hey, princess,” the handsome ginger said when you phoned him next. You could sense a smile through his words on the other end.

“What’s up?”

“Weird-ass restaurant cancelled our plans,” you said. “Not even a refund.”

Chuuya quickly picked up on the disappointment in your voice, and he knew it wasn’t because he didn’t get his money back. Money was nothing—he was a Port Mafia executive. Stacks of bills piled into his hands every day, and he quietly flexed on it through his collection of wine in the cellar, his clothes, and gifts to you.

What he wasn’t wealthy in was time. It had been almost a month since Chuuya had any free time—the boss had been overworking him amidst never-ending Yokohama mayhem. His large penthouse actually proved to be a disadvantage when you were the only one staying in it. It was too empty; it was too quiet for a home, there was an awkward gap in the bed you slept in.

“It’s okay, baby,” came Chuuya’s voice reassuringly. “Don’t worry ‘bout some shitty-ass restaurant.

“Meet me home at the rooftop at the time we originally planned.”

“…Alright,” you replied, unsure of what he was going to do, but you were grateful anyway that you’d get to spend time with him.

“And get ready too, like we originally planned,” he added, and this time, you could imagine the smugness in his smile. “See ya soon.”

…

The bell chimed as the elevator approached the top of Chuuya’s apartment, signaling that you reached the rooftop.

“Chuu?” you called out as the doors opened. He was nowhere to be found—instead a pathway of candles and a trail of rose petals leading to the other side.

Your heels clicked on the ground as you slowly followed the course. It was dark towards the back of the rooftop, but the front overlooked the entire city of Yokohama.

Another quiet flex.

“Hey, beautiful.” You noticed him before the lively city behind him, before the romantic scene he had set up—the path of petals expanded into scattering around the table Chuuya was sitting at. He was dressed up too—looking as attractive as ever.

“The Nakahara Restaurant,” you hummed, taking a seat in front of him. “Not bad.”

Chuuya smirked. “Not bad? We get Michelin stars, baby. Trust me.”

You giggled. “I don’t know about that, Chuu. You’ll have to prove it to me.” It was like you had turned the tables on him. Usually, he only deemed a restaurant good if you were pleased with the food.

“Alright.” Now, you were going to rate his. You could tell he was going to enjoy this.

“You hungry?”

You nodded.

With a snap of Chuuya’s fingers, you immediately heard footsteps scurrying toward the two of you.

Two young men, one with raven hair until silver tips and the other with an entirely silver head—you realized they were waiters from who knows where—approached you with a dish.

“Appetizers by Executive Nakahara,” the first one said.

“Wait—did you cook everything too?”

“Duuh, you take this for a fraud or something?” Chuuya failed to hide the pride on his face.

…

The appetizer, entrée, and dessert proved delicious, and you were forced to eat your previous words.

He was talented in just about everything.

Chuuya kicked the two ‘waiters’ out of his house after dessert was served, leaving the two of you finally alone. The candlelight amid the dark sky enveloped your figures in an intimate glow.

“I would’ve been fine with even just takeout,” you laughed after taking a sip out of your wine glass.

He smiled. “As if. It’s a special night, doll, we finally have time to see each other again.”

“Exactly! Seeing you is what matters most,” you said.

“Anyway, thank you, Chuu. I appreciate this so much. And I guess you’re right—you earn a Michelin Star from me.”

Chuuya looked towards the city below you and back. “Didn’t doubt it one bit. But that’s not the only stars we’re getting tonight.”

You looked puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t get shocked.”

Your lover snapped again—you picked up a slight difference in it this time compared to the previous times he signaled—and suddenly, Yokohama went dark.

You didn’t know how, but the city’s electricity had completely cut off at the mafia executive’s command.

“Chuu—?”

“You’re not looking the right way.”

You had been staring at the pitch-black buildings below in fazed awe, but it seemed to have switched places with the skies as now, small scattered lights began to fade in when you looked up, your eyes adjusting to the dark.

“Chuu!” You stood up in excitement. “We can see stars! In Yokohama!”

The ginger chuckled before pulling out a folded comforter from under the table. “Here, it’s better this way. Now this is what the wine was really for.”

…

Chuuya had fixed the comforter on the rooftop and pulled out a few pillows so that you were able to lie down and watch above more comfortably.

“I did this a lot when I stayed in Paris for a bit,” he said, explaining how he got the idea. “But the lights stayed on 24/7 there, too, so I had to use a telescope.”

You looked at him thoughtfully. “We could’ve done that too. You really startled everyone just for this.”

As if on cue, you suddenly heard someone shout in the distance, going “Hey! Who the hell turned off all the lights?!” You and Chuuya both snorted.

“Just for you,” he corrected. “I think this is better anyway. They can handle one night without power. And I made sure the hospitals and other important establishments stayed untouched.”

It was crazy how much power the man had. “Not entirely evil then,” you said.

“Yeah, plus I was also really aiming at that restaurant that tried ruining our plans,” Chuuya smirked.

You looked back at the stars and then Chuuya again, who hadn’t taken his cerulean eyes off your face.

You lay together to gaze at the stars. But instead of those, he was looking at you.

You couldn’t stop the flurry of coyness you got. He looked absolutely stunning under the heavens—it was almost unfair. It would be if you weren’t the one who got to see him in such a state. He looked mesmerized—mesmerized with you?

“Hey, you’re going to miss it if you keep staring at me,” you said.

“I’m seeing you and those galaxies for the first time in a while,” Chuuya replied. “I think I’d rather watch you.”

He kissed you while you were still smiling, causing him to grin, too. You felt light and safe around him and the blankets, and he felt the same. All aggression and stress ceased from his head, healed by you and the moonlight.

“Y’can name stars after people too, right?” he asked when you pulled back. “I swear, I’m going to make the next scientist who discovers one name it after you. It’d be way better than those random shitty names they give nowadays.”

FYODOR : i have the cosmos mapped out, likewise your soul. — you alone, he adores.

There was not a word said as you got into the passenger seat of the car that Fyodor was driving. He had left a note earlier that day—Zolotse, you’re coming with me on a mission tonight. Prepare what you need and bring the sleeping bags, and you had done so with little hesitation.

The sun had already gone down, but you were used to this. Initially, you had thought his job the opposite of himself—the demon was called to bizarre places sporadically and had to adapt to their settings in a short amount of time. You only realized after being with him for a while that he planned these things beforehand, and he planned them long ago.

The job was made for him—his little game of fate and chess.

He drove for around four hours straight. In that time, you had put on your favorite music, and talked with him about the usual—your latest philosophical obsession, anything interesting about his latest endeavors—you hadn’t realized you had gotten so far away from civilization.

Fyodor must’ve become nocturnal from all the time he’d spent in the dark, because it was pitch-black in all directions when he finally parked the car and you stepped out.

And only then you finally asked him. “Fedya, where are we?”

He didn’t respond, instead going to the back of the car and opening the trunk, handing you your sleeping bag and a flashlight.

You flipped the switch on, trying to scan the surroundings for any hint of where this journey took you.

“Darling, you’re quite naïve,” Fyodor said as you looked down at rocks and twigs below your shoes. “I’m concerned about how easily you agreed to let someone drive you hours out into the wilderness.”

“I’d do it only for you,” you replied, giggling. “I trust you.” Alas, he had answered your question, though you still didn’t know what he was here for.

“Follow me. We have a bit of hiking to do.”

…

A secret hideout? Meeting spot? Something valuable hidden here? Your mind came up with countless reasons why your lover’s current mission took place on a mountain and how he could even navigate without a map. The entire thing was strange—you hadn’t even seen him take any valuables of some kind besides a tent and his own sleeping bag.

The walk-up was a bit tedious. Thankfully, you wore the right shoes and had eaten well beforehand, but you still didn’t expect you would be partaking in exercise so late at night. It was also hard to see, the flashlights scarcely making a difference.

You came across a very steep hill; it was almost like you had to climb rather than hike up.

“Apologies for the inconvenience,” you heard Fyodor from above as he went first to ensure each step was safe. “It’ll be worth it later.”

“Ah-” You hardly had time to ponder his statement when you misstepped on a loose twig, causing you to slip. However, a hand reached to tightly grab you before you slid down.

“Careful, milaya.”

Fyodor kept your hand clasped in his throughout the rest of the trek. You finally reached a large clearing by the edge of a cliff—devoid of trees and hard bedrock.

“We’re here.”

He began setting up the tent while you looked around. There was nothing at all out of the ordinary—nothing suspicious for the demon to use. Were you really here just to camp?

“The goal: your eyes to adjust.”

Fyodor had finished and had been looking at you for some time—smiling, at the way your brows furrowed and how you were still lost with this entire night.

“What-?” you asked as he walked over to take your sleeping bag. You followed him as he set it right next to his.

“Sit next to me, lyubov,” he said, guiding you down. “I’ll tell you the secret to getting directions up here.”

He tilted his head up, and for the first time, you noticed an entire galaxy before you.

…

Drenched under the vastness of the dark skies and lights of the stars, Fyodor began to speak.

“We’ve used star navigation for thousands of years,” he said. “Fifty-eight stars and thirty-eight constellations that we’re able to use, but you only need to locate the Ursa Major to find north and Orion to find west.”

You nodded. Perhaps this is what he had come here to do—find directions to something that no GPS or technology recorded. He had probably taken you along just because he thought you’d admire the view and how you did. Fyodor was right—the walk-up was worth this view.

It was like you were in a trance. You had seen stars, but nothing like this before. The entire Milky Way galaxy was visible to your eyes, countless little suns that seemed barely out of your grasp, even though they were millions of miles away.

“Fedya, how many of them do you recognize by name?”

“By now, I have them all memorized because I’ve found it helpful. If an apocalypse surged the earth, they would still be there. If the world ended, they would still be there. The cosmos remain untouched by us—they watch humanity dance from afar. The nomads knew this the best—when we traveled, we relied on nothing but nature.”

You wondered how many body transfers it took for him to retain them all. There were so many little lights in the sky, it seemed near impossible to be able to gather even half in a mind’s jar. You guessed tens of years at the least, and even with that time, you knew only he could do it.

“You commend them too, don’t you?” you spoke, taking a risk in guessing his views.

“Elaborate for me.” You made eye contact with him, and amethyst eyes fawned over by the night almost enticed you even more than the entire view of the universe afore you.

“You appreciate them, and everything else that lays on the earth after the sun sets because they hold no flaw. They aren’t blemished by the foolishness of people.

“You can be at peace with them because they are perfect, unlike us.”

“You’re right. The perfect mankind would be as pure as the sun and the stars—untainted by something as unnatural as abilities. That’s how I see it, but why group yourself in such faults?”

“Hm?” was the only sound you were able to get out, when he grazed his fingers along your face, cupping your cheek.

“Printsessa, you are perfect.” He spoke smoothly, rich accent making his words sound like a lullaby.

“Your soul dances with the kosmos. Something so divine—you are the harmony of something as beautiful as what we see tonight.

“You are the only one who matches the heavens; my love, you surpass the heavens.”

He captured your lips in a kiss, and you only registered then that it was you two alone. It felt like you two were the only ones in the world with the witnesses to your love being the ends of the horizons, and that the universe who put on a show in the sky instead turned to watch you.

…

“Fedya…what was the mission?” you asked softly as you cuddled with him, your hands reaching for his silky hair as you lay on his chest.

You felt his smile. “You’re still so naïve, darling; you didn’t have to think so much. The mission was to bring you here. It’s been a while since we’ve gone out, has it not?”

SIGMA : i’ve never seen it before! (the aurora borealis) — he learns what love is through you.

“Sigma, baby, let’s go!”

The man had a slightly puzzled face as he let you eagerly lead him outside, past your home’s backyard—into the hills beyond. Other than the Sky Casino, it was your favorite spot, especially when you wanted some peace away from the rest of humanity and its industry.

Your lover was utterly confused why you made sure he did not fall asleep this evening. He always went to bed far earlier than you and rose while you were still lost in dream—perhaps snoring—but tonight you insisted.

And Sigma followed, even though he was at the verge of passing out from exhaustion—managing a casino was hard. He let you take his hand and direct him, even without a clue of where you were going.

Maybe that was what love was—blindly following another.

“I have a surprise.” You slightly turned your head back to look at him, and he swore he would remember this scene forever. His hand still clasped around yours, the warm glow of the back porch’s bistro lights cast upon your face, and your sweet smile—though it was dark outside, he felt that your smile lit up his world more than all the stars combined in the night sky.

The cosmos were a new thing for him. You had introduced watching the stars to him, in this special place beyond your backyard.

Immediately after his first time learning what the Big Dipper was, and that the little lights in the sky were actually much farther than they seemed, he called for a viewing deck to be created for the Sky Casino.

That way, even on nights away from you and home, he could still gaze at the same stars, and for you as well if you wanted to visit.

“Are we stargazing?” Sigma asked as you ran up one of the hills with him. He held a chuckle to himself. You didn’t bother to change out of your pajamas. You were so cute.

“It’s a little different this time,” you giggled, setting down a blanket for the two of you to sit. Before, you would bring foldable chairs, but you realized that they made it a bit difficult for you to cling onto Sigma when you wanted to cuddle with him.

“We should start to see it in just a few minutes,” you said, looking up.

“Okay…”

The stars were there as usual. Sigma had never thought that something as pretty as your heart could exist in something physical, but that was how he saw those small lights in the sky.

If only you knew that whenever you decided to talk about how beautiful the skies were at night, he wanted to say they were literally just a reflection of you.

As soon as the clock on your watch hit the next hour, you immediately grabbed Sigma’s arm in enthusiasm.

Now he was really starting to wonder what got you so jumpy.

“Hey! Do you see it?!”

Sigma caught himself so distracted by you that he was watching your face instead of where your eyes were looking at.

He blushed when you looked at him, but thankfully you remained oblivious to his embarrassment.

“The green light! Do you see it?”

Sigma looked up, and he saw what looked like sliver of green contrast the dusky sky.

“That’s natural,” you began to explain. “It works through the earth’s magnetic field colliding with the atmosphere.

“Watch how it dances.”

A show started to unfold before the two of you. Sigma watched as the small touch of light became even brighter, transforming into a ribbon. He watched as the ribbon began to travel across the sky, overtaking the darkness. He watched in awe as it was joined by another green stream, traversing the horizons together.

“Wow,” you both said in awe.

“It’s called the aurora borealis,” you spoke.

“You can see it regularly if you travel way up north, but it’s a rare event here.

“I wanted to experience it with you.”

Sigma turned to look back at you, butterflies in his tummy and a surge of warmth overflowing his heart when he met your face—cheeks glowing from the reflection of the chasma and your eyes full of adoration.

“With me?” Sigma asked.

“Of course,” you replied, pulling him up. “Look Sigma—a new color joined.”

He glanced up, seeing that a new hue had appeared, aligning itself with the green. A pinkish light had mixed itself in, creating a swirl of paints on the sky’s pallete.

It really seemed like the lights were dancing. And Sigma thought to himself—like me and her.

You seemed to have the same idea because you had taken his hands in yours and started to whirl him around. It was messy—a bit chaotic, but he let himself be dragged along for a bit until he got dizzy, because maybe love was blindly following someone.

Eventually, Sigma started laughing, and couldn’t be thrown around any longer. “Calm down, love!” He took control of the dance, guiding your steps so that it turned into a more organized waltz.

He became captivated when he twirled you around—even though you were in your pajamas, you couldn’t look any less beautiful. He had danced with you in ballrooms, in gardens, but this unrehearsed night was the most enchanting of all.

…

You two danced until your feet started to hurt and Sigma’s exhaustion finally got the best of him. Now, you lay together, watching the rest of the night’s act play out.

“Whenever I look at the nebulas, I only think of you now, you know,” you confessed. “Because even if you’re up there, and I’m down on earth, we’re still looking at the same stars together.”

“I think the same,” Sigma replied. “It’s like we’re always connected in some way.”

You nodded with a smile, but you realized Sigma wasn’t finished yet.

“Actually, it’s more than that. I can only think of you when I see those things because all beauty leads back to you. I see your kindness in the sun and your energy in these colorful lights. I see your perseverance in the moon and most importantly, how many hearts you’ve made shine in the stars.

“And whatever ends up the brightest at night is mine, because you’ve warmed my heart the most.”

Your own heart was beating fast, by how your lover had spoken so tenderly to you and by the way he had rolled over towards you so that he was so close now—his lips just shy of yours.

“Sigma,” you whispered, and then you pulled him into a kiss.

It was then he finally understood: love wasn’t about blindly following another, he followed you because you were a blessing of trust, carrying the stars of devotion on your hands.

i heard if you rb, u’ll be able to watch the stars w/ ur fav tn !! reblogs are cherished; they are what support me the most. <3

this fic wouldn’t have ever seen the light, weren’t for @cheriiyaya (hi); thank u bby for encouraging me start to finish. <3 a lil prompt inspo for dazai & fyodor from her. ^_^

p.s. did i imply a past!love triangle in dazai’s scenario? yes. was i referring to the fyozai ‘til death we do art love triangle? maybe..! actually, for some rzn, i included many things here that foreshadow other fics coming soon. stay tuned :)

© AUREATCHI 2024. no reposts or translations. do not steal. support banner by cafekitsune.

[dreamy-crow]

You are a friend of Arisu, Karuba and Chota

English is not my native language, so there may be some mistakes. I apologize for that. This is not a full-fledged work, but rather a reflection on "what if they had another friend

[WARNING: blood, character death]

You became friends with Arisu, Karube, and Chota back in elementary school. One day, you witnessed two brave boys named Karube and Arisu standing up for a third boy, Chota, who was being bullied. This deeply impressed your younger self, and you made an effort to befriend them. Luckily, it worked out well as the boys were open to having a new friend. Your friendship lasted even after school, showing the strong emotional bond between you all.

You shared the most interests with Arisu and, since neither of you had jobs, you spent more time together. Sometimes, you and Arisu would tease Karube and Chota by sending selfies from a café where you were playing video games while they were working. In response, they teased you right back.

*You sent a selfie where, in the background, Arisu is playing a computer game.

You: How's your Monday going? We're busy with serious matters… like relaxing for both of you!

Chota: It's so sweet that you have so much free time to do this for us.

Karube: Chota, I have a theory about them.

You: ?

Chota: What is it?

Karube: They spend so much time together not just because they're unemployed but because they're secretly dating!

Chota: EXACTLY!

Karube: Your virginity, Chota, didn’t manage to infect them.

Chota: Hey!

You: Arisu, how do you block users in this app?

Arisu: I was going to ask you the same thing.

Chota is a very religious person thanks to his mother, so from time to time, when you're bored, you accompany him to one of the churches. After the church service ends, you usually go to a small shop to buy interesting new manga and read them together, discussing each character's actions.

Chota points to the distorted face of one of the characters.

—Look, that's you when something goes wrong, the young man says playfully.

—And that's you after your boss gets upset again.

Chota looks at the funny, exhausted face of the character and playfully hugs himself.

—If only you knew how scary he is during those times. I'm tired of him.He looks at you, and you sympathetically pat him on the shoulder.

One day, Karube approached you with an unusual level of concern, surprising you since you'd never seen him like that before. He came to you because he wanted to propose to his girlfriend, Emi. You knew he was dating his boss's girlfriend and had considered talking to him about it because, in that case, Karube was technically the "other man." However, you noticed how his eyes lit up when he talked about the girl he was deeply in love with. So, holding your tongue, you decided it was his business and trusted that he and Emi would figure it out themselves. He explained exactly what he needed from you: since you're a girl, you would know how to impress another girl, and because he noticed that your fingers are similar to Emi's, he needed you to tell him the size of your ring finger. After finishing your discussion, you sincerely hoped everything would go well for Karube.

A few days later, you were sitting in the kitchen, enjoying delicious dashi. You were browsing various job postings because you had decided to start earning money independently. Your phone started vibrating in your hands with a flood of new messages in your group chat of four. From this, you learned that Karube had been fired, Chota wanted to skip work today, and Arisu had argued with his father and left home. Everyone wanted to meet up. They were waiting for your reply, so you quickly typed a message saying you’d join them soon.

Half an hour later, all four of you stood together in the shade. You were quietly giggling at jokes about a zombie apocalypse and, overall, enjoying the warm atmosphere with your friends. Suddenly, Karube lifted Arisu onto his shoulders and began running carefully down the crowded street with him. Chota started recording a video on his phone, and you stayed close to your friends, ready to catch Arisu in case he fell. You didn't doubt Karube's strength, but extra caution wouldn't hurt. The laughter of everyone involved faded when you realized you were on a busy road. Cars were honking at you, and you tried to reach the other side of the street as quickly as possible, avoiding oncoming traffic.

You heard Chota say, "Look, there are fireworks over there!" But you didn’t turn your head, still focused on your goal. Once on the other side, you all agreed to duck into some restrooms to avoid the police. The three guys went into the men’s restroom, and you headed into the women’s.

The guys only wrote in the group chat that everything was fine, but you were distracted when the lights went out. You put your phone in your pocket and decided to step outside. There was no one around except you. You began calling loudly, "Karube! Chota! Arisu!" but no one answered, so you started searching the most likely places. However, Tokyo seemed frozen in time. Late at night, you returned to the road where you’d last been messing around with your friends. A bright light from a billboard caught your attention, mentioning some kind of game. Though cautious, you followed the directions to the indicated location.

Hope still filled your heart that you’d find your friends there. When you entered the building, you saw your friends and ran quickly toward them. They called your name and hugged you tightly.

—We were looking for you, but it was like you disappeared into thin air like everyone else.

Chota said quietly, disbelief in his eyes.

—Where were you?.

Karube’s voice was calm, but there was a hint of worry.

—Did you see anyone else? Do you know what happened?

Arisu was still holding your shoulders as if checking if you were real.

You didn’t get a chance to explain because another girl in a business suit entered. She explained that you wouldn’t be able to leave until you played the game. After her, a schoolgirl arrived, so all of you completed registration, and the "Life or Death" game began.

After the schoolgirl's death, you stayed close to Chota, patting each other’s backs for comfort. In the next round, you pulled Karube away from Arisu, squeezing the blonde man’s hand tightly to keep him from hitting your mutual friend again. Thanks to Arisu’s intellect, you managed to escape the game, but Chota suffered a severe burn.

By mutual agreement, Shibuki and Chota stayed in the shelter while you, Karube, and Arisu went to the next game to search for answers. During a minor argument between you and your friends, you went with Arisu because the boys didn’t want you to attack the man in the horse mask. However, even in the safe zone, there was trouble—if not for the short-haired girl as well as the man with white hair and his taser, you would have died.

You and Arisu were supporting Karube from both sides. The guy had a shallow wound on his side, but he refused to admit he needed help, even though it was obvious. When you returned to the shelter, you helped bandage his wound and stayed close to assist him if needed. The next morning, while everyone was still asleep, you decided to prepare food with the available supplies. Fortunately, there was a gas stove, so cooking wasn't a problem.

The guys immediately started eating breakfast, while Shibuki stood aside, unsure if she was allowed to join. Your gesture inviting her to sit down reassured her, and she joined you without hesitation.

You were worried about Chota: his visa was expiring today, and with an injured leg, he still had to participate in the game. During breakfast, Karube mentioned hearing about the "Beach."

—Let's look for a way there after today's game. Chota and I are out of time, so we can't delay this.

—All right, we'll all go to the game together today, you decided.

In the evening, billboards lit up again, announcing a new game. This time, the venue was Tokyo's botanical garden. Arisu was supporting Karube as they approached a door with a sign reading, "Only four players can participate in the game." This sparked a new debate: Chota and Shibuki had to play since their visas were expiring. Arisu wanted to opt out since his visa was still valid, but you and Karube insisted he participate. In past games, he was the one who guessed everything, so he's useful.

—Let me play. You have a wound that might cause you difficulties.

—Chota also has a wound.

—But his visa expires today, and you have it for a few more days.

—Everything will be fine, Arisu is with me, and you can sit here and wait for us.

—Karub!

However, he quickly went behind the door, which was locked. You have nothing left but to sit quietly and wait.

However, he quickly went behind the door, which was locked. You had no choice but to sit quietly and wait. From time to time, you looked excitedly at the construction of the Shinjuku Botanical Garden, you heard some screams of your friends, but you could not understand what they were saying. Anxiety was taking over you more and more. You wanted to see what was going on inside, but due to the dense vegetation you were unable to do so. You hugged yourself in your arms because of the cold of the summer night, you walked here and there outside, waiting for your friends and Shibuki to come out. With every minute, you were shaking more and more, either from the cold or from a bad premonition. Suddenly, everyone heard several explosions, they were similar to the ones you heard in the safe zone. Then there was a loud desperate scream. You took a stick, opened the door and threw it into the botanical garden. The laser did not penetrate its. You ran toward the screams, shouting the names of your friends:

- Chota! Arisu! Karube! Shibuki! Where are you?!

Your eyes began to gather cool moisture from the possible options, what could have happened. The sound was heard again, but this time it was not a scream, it was someone's loud sobs. You stopped, you didn't even have to breathe to determine the exact source of the sound. The sound came from the right side, so you rushed there without thinking. You saw that this cry belonged to Arisu. He was sitting on his knees, he had headphones and transparent glasses on his head, and there was fresh blood on his face and clothes.

—Arisu!

You quickly approached, sitting next to him, you carefully placed your hands on your friend's shoulders. With your eyes, you looked him over from head to toe with concern.

—Arisu, can you hear me? Where does it hurt? Are you injured? Where are the others?

Arisu was gasping for air, looking at one point, you took your hands off your friend's shoulders and turned completely in that direction. For a moment you forgot how to breathe, very close to both of you Karube lay motionless, and under him was a pool of blood. Your face was pale than any porcelain in the world. You still couldn’t breathe normally, hot tears were flowing down your cheeks, and your eyes were filled with pain and horror. You sobbed, which allowed Aris to finally notice you in this botanical garden. He hugged you from behind, resting his head on your shoulder and started crying harder, he whispered an apology, but you couldn’t hear him anymore. Arisu hugged you tighter. Feeling you in his arms, he remembered what Karube and Chota had told him a few minutes ago.

—Arisu, live for our sake and for y/n. You were all my best friends, I'm grateful to you.

Chota finally took his hand away from Shibuki's mouth, and she hugged him. They both cried because they knew these were their last moments.

—Arisu, when you get out of here, take care of yourself and y/n.

Karube smoked a little more.

—Turn your head, I'm here. Arisu, thank you.

[setaretjd]

Mikey X Reader Three Stages of His Life

A One-Shot of Sano Manjiro from Three Stages of His Life:

Childhood Mikey, Vegetative State Mikey, and Toman Mikey.

The one-shot about his vegetative state contains spoilers from the manga. If you haven’t read the manga yet, feel free to skip that part and enjoy the other two without worry.

I’ll soon be posting one-shots from the next three stages too—Future Toman, Manila Mikey, and Bonten Mikey—so don’t lose me if you’re excited to keep reading!

The characters of Mikey and the others belong to Wakui-sensei from the anime Tokyo Revengers.

Other Oneshots:

Izana X You X Ran (Izana is ypur toxic bf)

Toxic Relationship with Members of the Bonten

Sukuna X Reader (Past Life)

Childhood Mikey

You had been training at Mikey’s grandfather’s judo dojo since you were a child.

Day after day, the two of you sparred together—pushing, falling, rising again.

And every now and then, you were one of the rare few who could manage to throw him to the mat.

That alone was enough to make his blood boil.

Being beaten—even occasionally—by a foreign girl who still butchered Japanese with a clumsy accent?

Unacceptable.

There were days when Baji, wide-eyed and half-joking, would pull you aside and beg for your "secret technique"—the one that could bring Mikey down.

And without fail, Mikey would snap.

Red-faced, he'd shove Baji away, yelling curses and storming off like a child denied his favorite toy.

But you didn’t mind.

In fact, there was something weirdly... satisfying about seeing him that worked up.

The day your parents failed to pick you up—too wrapped up in their business meetings and obligations—the one who stepped in was none other than Grandpa Sano.

Kind and gentle, he simply took your hand and brought you home with him.

Mikey didn’t say a word the entire time.

At dinner, he sat stiffly across from you, silent as ever, barely hiding the way he glared at your chopsticks—more specifically, how you still couldn’t use them right.

Shinichiro was warm, offering you more rice with a smile.

Emma, sweet as always, asked bluntly, “How could your parents just leave you like that?”

You had no answer.

Because deep down, you already knew: your parents cared more about their reputation, their status, their careers—than they ever had about you.

It was humiliating.

And the worst part? Sitting there in the Sano home, surrounded by a family that was everything yours wasn’t: close, warm, loving.

Later that night, you found yourself sitting in Mikey’s room—his old room, not Shinichiro’s.

Cross-legged on the floor, you glanced around at the shelves, the scattered manga, the half-finished model kits.

You: “It’s small, but cute... kinda like your house.”

He was sprawled on the bed, flipping lazily through a magazine.

Mikey: “Hm.”

Curious, you leaned forward and snatched the magazine right out of his hands.

You: “Oh my God, Manjiro—are you seriously reading this crap? That’s disgusting.”

His face turned bright red as he snatched it back.

Mikey: “Can you just shut up and sit there quietly until your forgetful family finally decides to show up?”

Your voice dropped, a whisper barely above the silence.

You: “They’re not coming...”

That made him pause.

Mikey: “What?”

You exhaled, long and slow, before laying down on the futon they had set up for you.

You: “They never planned to. They told me I was supposed to go to my grandmother’s, but... she doesn’t really want me either. She just tolerates me.”

You pulled the blanket over your head, trying to disappear beneath it.

A quiet puff left your lips, frustration leaking out in that one breath.

Then—footsteps.

The bed creaked as he got up, then the blanket slowly peeled back.

He sat beside you, looking unsure, awkward, maybe even a little guilty.

Mikey: “So... they’re—”

You (cutting him off): “Getting divorced.”

He looked away, muttering under his breath.

Mikey: “...Damn it.”

She pulled the blanket over her head again.

“I said you can sleep. I won’t bother you,” Mikey muttered, turning away and heading back to his bed.

The room fell into silence, broken only by the soft rhythm of her breathing, almost too quiet to notice. Twenty minutes passed. Mikey lay in bed, eyes open, staring at the ceiling, but all he could hear was her.

“Hey... [Your Name],” he called out softly.

No answer.

“You really asleep?”

Still silence.

He sat up slowly, then got to his feet and padded across the floor. Crouching beside her, he placed his hands on either side of her face, caging her in without touching.

"God... you're so ugly," he whispered under his breath—almost like a defense mechanism against the tight, unfamiliar feeling twisting in his chest.

But it didn’t go away. In fact, it pulled him in closer.

He leaned down, hesitating just inches from her face. Her breaths brushed his skin, warm and steady. For a moment, he just stayed there, eyes searching a face that somehow looked softer in sleep.

“How do people even do this...?” he whispered.

Then, with the gentleness of someone doing it for the very first time, he tilted his head and pressed his lips to hers. It was awkward, clumsy—completely unskilled. But real. One hand found her cheek, brushing her skin lightly before he pulled away.

Without a word, he laid down beside her on the futon, heart pounding out of rhythm. His hands were damp with nervous sweat, but he didn’t move. Just pulled the blanket higher over her and stared at the ceiling in the dark.

---

The next morning, Shinichiro opened the door to check on them and paused at the sight. [Your Name] was curled in Mikey’s arms like she belonged there.

He raised a brow and crossed his arms, smirking faintly. Huh. Maybe the kid’s doing better with girls than I ever did.

“Hey, Mikey. [Your Name]. Wake up!” he called, loud enough to rattle the windows. “Breakfast’s ready!”

At the table, conversation was sparse. Only Emma and [Your Name] exchanged words. Mikey sat in silence, stealing glances at her from under his lashes as he ate like nothing happened.

Later, when her mother finally came—furious about her not going to her grandmother’s—[Your Name] stood in front of the Sano family to say her goodbyes.

She hugged Emma tightly, bowed to Shinichiro and Grandpa Sano with practiced respect.

Mikey, hands stuffed deep in his pockets, stood to the side, puffing out his cheeks, looking away.

She smiled and raised her hand.

“Thanks for letting me crash in your room.”

He looked up, startled, then awkwardly scratched his head. Hesitantly, he reached out and took her hand for a second.

“No problem,” he mumbled. “It was... fine.”

Deep down, he was grateful—so damn relieved—that she didn’t seem to remember the kiss. But something had changed. He knew it. And from that moment on, he quietly decided he wouldn’t mind letting her win during training... a little more often.

That night was the beginning—the very first spark—of something neither of them had words for yet.

Vegetative State

(spoilers from the manga if you don't want to read skip to the next oneshot)

You sat down in front of Mikey just as Shinichiro spoke up, his voice light with nostalgia.

Shinichiro: “Manjiro, do you remember her? You two used to fight all the time when you were kids. She was the only one at Grandpa’s judo classes who could actually give you a hard time!”

Hope lit up in your eyes.

You looked at Mikey, silently wishing for even the smallest flicker of recognition.

But he didn’t flinch.

Didn’t blink.

Just stared at you with those cold, empty eyes—as if you were a stranger.

A statue carved in frost.

Still, you forced a smile and drew in a deep breath, refusing to let the silence swallow you.

You: “I’m sorry for showing up so late. You probably don’t even remember me... But when we were eight, we used to fight all the time. You never let me or Baji play with you, so I’d always end up running to Haruchiyo, sulking.”

Shinichiro chuckled warmly.

Shinichiro: “You’re doing great, A.T. Honestly, Manjiro and I have been waiting for you to come back for a long time.”

You nodded softly, your smile growing a little more real.

You: “Well... there was my parents’ divorce, and... other things. But I’m really glad to see you all again.”

Then Shinichiro turned to Mikey again, nudging him playfully.

Shinichiro: “You won’t believe it, Manjiro—I ran into her at a café! And there were tons of guys trying to get her number. I had to scare 'em all off myself. But you should’ve been there. You’re her friend, aren’t you?”

You laughed and, without thinking, gently placed your hand over Mikey’s.

His fingers were lean, his knuckles slightly bruised—just like they’d always been.

You: “Don’t worry. I can handle it. But I will get something out of you eventually, Mikey. We still need a rematch. I want to see just how much stronger I’ve gotten since then.”

Before he could reply—not that he looked like he would—Shinichiro’s phone rang.

He excused himself with a quick smile and stepped out to take the call.

The room fell quiet.

And in that quiet, you moved closer, laying your head softly on Mikey’s lap.

From below, your eyes searched his, trying to pull something—anything—out of that unreadable face.

You (softly): “Are you really going to keep pretending I’m not here, Sano?”

You took a deep breath, your voice trembling with intensity.

You: “I came all the way from America... just to find you. To find all of you. You have no idea how happy I was when I ran into your brother—it felt like I could fly from the joy.”

You shifted your head slightly on his lap and gently pressed a kiss to his hand. It was warm, rough with time, but still felt like home.

You: “I know I left at the worst possible time. But after you stopped coming to judo practice... that place became hell for me. And eventually, your grandfather told us not to come back either. My dad took me to America right after that.”

Lifting your head, you sat upright, staring at him with all the sincerity your heart could hold.

You: “Mikey... I mean, Manjiro—please try to come back to us. Your brother, Baji, Haruchiyo... we’re all still waiting for you.”

You reached out and gently placed your hand against his cheek, your touch soft and trembling.

You: “You probably don’t know this, but I had a crush on you when we were kids. Silly, right? We were just little... but I still like you. Even now.”

A small laugh slipped through your tears.

You: “So maybe it’s in your best interest to get better soon. Who knows? You might actually end up with a pretty decent girlfriend.”

But your voice cracked, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop the tears from falling. One after another, they slid down your cheeks.

You: “Maybe if I say all this, I can quiet some of this guilt... for coming back so late. So please... just say something. Anything, Manjiro.”

You lay your head down on his lap again and sobbed quietly, your body trembling with every breath.

It was pitiful, really.

Just like Haruchiyo had said—he wasn’t the same Mikey anymore.

And maybe... he couldn’t be.

But even in the silence, Mikey felt you.

Felt the warmth of your presence bleeding through the numbness.

Your words echoed inside his chest, and his heartbeat grew unsteady.

He wanted to hold you—desperately.

To pull you close, wrap you in his arms, and tell you that your feelings weren’t silly or childish.

That he still loved you.

That he’d been waiting for you all this time.

But this cursed state he was trapped in wouldn’t let him speak.

Wouldn’t let him tell you just how much you still meant to him.

---

The next morning, on your way to school, a message lit up your phone.

> “his done.”

You stared at the screen in disbelief. Then, without thinking, you pressed the phone tightly against your chest—right over your heart—and burst into loud, uncontrollable sobs.

Everyone on the bus turned, startled and confused by your sudden breakdown.

You (screaming through tears): “I told you I loved you... How could you do this to me?!”

Your hands let go of the overhead rail as you dropped to your knees, your sobs wracking your whole body.

And this time, not even your own strength could stop the flood.

Thoman Mikey

Lunch at school wasn’t anything special—just noise, chatter, and trays clattering—but the moment you, Mikey, Draken, and Peh sat at the same table, everything felt unusually still.

It had been a month since you and Mikey started dating… well, were forced to start dating—thanks to Emma’s interference.

Honestly, if it weren’t for her, the two of you, with your ridiculous pride and awkward personalities, would’ve never made a move.

And it showed.

That first date? A painfully long walk with zero conversation. Not a single word. Just two people walking side by side like strangers lost in thought.

The second date? A movie night… with Emma and Draken tagging along. Halfway through, Mikey fell asleep on your shoulder.

Dates three and four? Barely any better. The two of you acted like robots, performing the motions of a couple without knowing how.

Since childhood, the only real bond you shared was judo… and Toman.

Years ago, Mikey had asked you to join as a special member—an honorary position beside him and Draken. Not because of feelings. But because he respected your strength. Your loyalty.

Feelings weren’t part of the equation.

Not until Emma noticed the way you looked at Mikey during his Toman speeches—the way your eyes lingered, hopeful and soft.

So she stepped in. Pushed things forward.

And somewhere in that push, the line between teammates and something more began to blur.

Only Emma knew what really started it all:

That night, when Mikey kissed you in his room—while you were fast asleep.

For lunch, you had brought your favorite dish, which caught Pehyan’s surprised attention.

Pehyan said, “Oh! What’s that supposed to be?”

You smiled, “It’s a dish from my country. I wanted to eat it today. Want some?”

He nodded, “Sure, why not—”

But the moment he caught Mikey’s scary glare fixed on him, he froze.

“Oh, uh… no thanks. I’m allergic to foods I’ve never tried before. I better go catch up with Pae Chin. Bye!”

And with that, he hurriedly walked away, leaving you puzzled.

You frowned, “Oh... that hurt my feelings.”

Mikey raised an eyebrow, “Why? You upset because he didn’t eat it?”

You shook your head, “No, it’s not that. I just felt like he insulted my taste.”

Mikey picked up the spoon next to your plate, took a bite of your food, and nodded approvingly.

“Tastes good.”

You beamed, “Aah, Manjiro, you’re the best!”

You ruffled his hair gently, making him smirk quietly as he chewed. But before long, he started coughing. Sitting up straight, he pushed your hand away.

“That’s enough. I want to finish the rest.”

You yelled, “Move aside! I’m the one who brought this—I’m the one who’s gonna eat it!”

Mikey caught your face with one hand and pushed your plate away.

“That’s not how a lady talks, (Your name)! Show some grace.”

You pulled your hand back, grumbling, “God, look who’s saying that—the guy who can’t even talk to other girls.”

He chuckled quietly and took another bite.

“Yeah, they’re disgusting anyway.”

Draken smirked but said nothing as he got up from the table, leaving you two alone.

Draken said over his shoulder, “Anyway, everyone flirts their own way. These crazy kids seem happy with theirs. Emma, let’s not meddle any more than this.”

From a distance, people would watch you and Mikey tugging at each other’s hair, letting out soft yelps of pain, but never really meaning harm.

Your relationship evolved so that Mikey would ride his motorcycle to take you to school. After classes, you two would head to the temple together for Toman meetings.

Before, some guys teased you for being the only girl in the gang, or tried to flirt with you. But ever since your first date with Mikey, no one dared to even look you in the eye when they spoke to you.

Mikey was truly a strict commander—and an insanely jealous boyfriend.

Many days, when you had fights against rival gangs, he’d call you names just to throw you off and keep you from showing up on time.

And when you finally stormed off angry at him, he’d ask Emma to come to you and smooth things over.

He always took you out for lunch on holidays, and whenever you started studying in front of him, his grumbling and shouting would distract you enough to lose focus.

You were lucky to have Sai Gi as a close friend—otherwise, you were sure Mikey would have done something so extreme that no other Sai would dare come near you.

He was exactly the worst kind of boyfriend—but also the funniest and most jealous one.

So, having a relationship with him wasn’t all bad or hateful. The two of you were made for fighting—and for loving each other.

I’ll soon be posting one-shots from the next three stages too—Future Toman, Manila Mikey, and Bonten Mikey—so don’t lose me if you’re excited to keep reading! 💞

[luffyvace]

Helloooo! I saw ur request open and writing for saiki k! I see so little context of him 😭

May I request where saiki is dating his favorite author(she is an anonymous writer) and he didn't know (like she Naver though to tell him about it and she Naver really think of her work when w him or when in school) and maybe finding out through his dad that she is ? And how would he react and think after he found out ?

(sorry if my request was long 😭)

Yeah me too !! 😭

ohhh wow! What an interesting and fun request! Thank you :}

(you used ‘she’ so reader implied is fem but I won’t mention you being a girl just in case <3)

Don’t worry it’s not too long at all~

☕️🌷

Everyday you get home after school and write, as a comfort and to make some change to buy things you like :)

You do publish your work, but your an anonymous writer

your sales have been doing really good and everything! Your forever grateful!

it makes you happy seeing as though writing makes you happy and is your comfort!

so the fact that you could be doing that for others makes you joyous 💓

there’s also your boyfriend Kusuo!

he’s a reserved and genuine guy who treats you very well :)

you’ve been an item for a while now and your really happy in your relationship!

man you’ve really got it going for yourself!! 😋💪

this company has been loyally publishing your work for quite some time which makes you satisfied to see they like your writing!

school’s good too! You and Kusuo have a friend group who you go out with pretty often

(alright that was a little bit of some reader POV now here’s the fun part! 😆)

Kusuo finished his coffee jelly and was going down stairs to put the dishes in the sink

until he spotted his dad reading his favorite book/manga!!

”hey dad what book is that?”

his dad’s inner dialogue: “holy crap my son is talking to me!”

“oh uh nothing son just uh (book/manga title name)—I uhh, brought a copy from work home”

”they have that series there?”

”yeah! We do! We have every chapter! Actually, we’re the ones publishing them! Do want me to get you the set?…..if I lick my bosses shoes a couple extra times I’m sure I could pull a few strings..”

”thanks.”

his dad’s inner dialogue: “holy crap I just had a conversation with my son! He was wanted to talk to…me! I can’t believe it..!”

saiki’s inner dialogue: “goodness..😒🤦”

”n-no problem son! Heheh..”

He was gonna go back to his room but stopped at the stairs

“hey dad..the author uses a pen name..do you know who they are?”

“Huh-! Oh!- yeah I do! I’ve met them in person actually- do you wanna meet them?”

Kusuo nods and walks off

his dad then proceeds to dance in his living room, as he’s had a successful conversation with his son that Kusuo started 🕺🕺

Later that week, saiki and his dad wait for you to show up at his job with the latest chapter

he was indeed able to pull a few strings…by licking some shoes..

when you walk in Kusuo’s dad came up to you and (re)introduced you to his son

”Kusuo this is (Name), the author you asked me to introduce you to. (Name), meet my son Kusuo”

you looked surprised to see Kusuo and that he wanted to meet you?? I mean you know your anonymous but he likes your work?! You had no idea he was buying!

Kusuo has a slightly amused expression on his face

“Kusuo? You…”

..were at a loss of words at such a funny situation! (LOL)

you two ended up explaining both sides of the situation

you said you love to write, but anonymously and you never got around to telling him

he said this is his favorite series from you and your his favorite author, he’s been buying for a while to be frank!

ohhh!

this may be the way his parents found out you were a couple and let me tell you he was less than pleased..(not that he wanted to hide it but his parents…..:^ yeah 😃)

Saiki got the privilege of getting the first copy of the latest chapter before it was even published! :)

and now he always does <3

he also has the perk of getting it for free!

horray! Now he can save his money for coffee jelly- 😚

LOL not that he doesn’t wanna support you

you simply give it to him and he accepts ♥︎

he also gets the honors of helping you decide things for the story!

He gleefully reads the parts in which his opinion was inserted

however he doesn’t want to influence any major plot points- he doesn’t like spoilers :P

(It is possible he persuades people at school to buy your books so you can have the funding to keep going and make you happy simultaneously—but we’ll never really know 🤷‍♀️ )

your actually my first saiki k request! Thank you! I appreciate it love!

hopefully you had a good meal out of these headcanons cherished anonymous~ ☺️

[anime-fan-05]

Hey, this is the first time I make this request and I hope it's understood. Can you write a scenario of Itadori and Megumi when the reader can't sleep because she saw a person die in front of her for the first time and asks to sleep with them (they're engaged, but they've never slept together)? If you don't want to, you can also not do it.

Thank you very much!

Jujutsu Kaisen ~Sleeping together~

Manga/anime: Jujutsu Kaisen

Warnings: nothing

(Y/N): your name

(S/O): significant other

Premise

(Y/N) can't sleep: for the first time, she saw a man die in front of her, and the shock was too great for her.

Now she's there, in front of the room of her boyfriend (S/O), the only one she trusts, undecided whether to enter or not: she doesn't want to wake him, but she can't take it anymore, she continues to see that man's frightened face in her mind. She needs the comfort of (S/O), the only one who makes her feel safe even when she feels bad.

Finally, she decides to gently knock on his door.

Silence.

That's what (Y/N) hears immediately after knocking.

She knocks again, but no one opens the door, so she decides to take the handle and turn it, entering Yuuji's room.

The boy is lying in bed, sleeping soundly with a trickle of drool running down his pillow; the girl is sorry to wake him, she doesn't want to bother him with her terrors -after all he too has had his share of shocking events in the last month- so, determined not to disturb him, she turns to get out of his room, ready to leave him alone, not wanting to wake him.

"(Y/N)?" A hoarse, low voice makes her stop: Yuuji woke up.

"What are you doing here? Do you need anything?"

"I-I wanted to ask you if I could sleep with you... I can't alone... I'm too afraid it could happen to someone close to me... And I..."

Without letting her finish, the boy sweetly takes the girl's wrist and gently pulls her towards him in his bed. The two lie down, (Y/N) with her face and arms against his chest and her legs wrapped around his, Yuuji with one arm around her upper back and the other gently stroking her hair.

"You're shaking so much, are you okay?" She still didn't realize she was shaking: she's still upset.

"O-oh, yes, I'm okay."

"I don't believe it. But, if you don't want to tell me, it's okay. I just want you to know I'm here for you if you need me."

"Can you just hold me?" (Y/N) murmurs, pushing her body against Yuuji's as much as she can.

"Of course."

And so the girl can finally find peace in the boy's arms, falling asleep.

After a few seconds, (Y/N) hears the shuffling of blankets and a sound of footsteps before the door creaks open, thus making her shiver, showing Megumi's face, strangely not sleepy and which doesn't suggest he has just woken up.

"(Y/N)?" He asks in a low voice to avoid waking Yuuji, who's sleeping in the room next to his.

Moving to the door's side, the boy allows the girl into his room, deciding it would be best to discuss there as soon as he notices her trembling slightly, he thinks due to the cold in the hallway -of course she's shaking because of what happened that day, but he obviously can't know that-.

"(Y/N)?" Megumi repeats her name after she didn't answer for a few minutes after entering and continues to stand with her head down. At hearing her name, she looks up from the ground, showing him her tear-filled eyes. Having seen her reduced like that, the boy's eyes widen, and he asks the girl what was wrong, while dying to hold her tight in his arms but being too ashamed to do so.

Without answering his question, she asks him: "Can I sleep with you?".

Megumi looks at her for a few seconds, processing her question, while a light blush makes its way onto his face. He then nods, therefore (Y/N) hesitantly approaches him and, waiting for him to lie down first, sits down next to him, but without getting too close or holding him; she lets out a yelp when she feels him gently wrap an arm around her waist and pull her towards him, and she gasps when she sees his eyes staring at her softly as he begins to tell her about his day in a low, soothing voice.

In the end, she didn't need words: Megumi understands her even without speaking.

💮 Rules 💮 Masterlist 💮

[shannonsketches]

Mmmthinkin about Yambul and Vegebul as opposite experiences

To be fair to Yamcha being unkind to Bulma in all the classically sexist ways he was, Bulma was insecure and unkind to him too for reasons that were his fault and reasons that had nothing to do with him.

They were kids when they met and decided immediately that they should move in together. It's easy to fall into bad habits and stay there, especially because Yamcha is insecure too. He was 16, he didn't have much experience with personal relationships outside of Pu'ar, he doesn't know what a relationship is supposed to look like outside of whatever romantic fiction he might've consumed. And neither does Bulma. Her parents are distracted and ditzy and non-traditional and constantly imply interest in other people, and all Bulma seems to know about real-life relationships is that she does NOT want one like theirs.

But Yamcha is like Goku, he's a nomad, he's a wanderer, and he wants a homemaker wife who's his champion and his cheerleader and will yearn for his return to her side, and he finds out very quickly that Bulma is not that girl.

Bulma is independent, and loud, and expresses her needs and expects them to be met or else she'll handle them herself and move past you. She is not a damsel, she is not a dough-eyed ingenue. She likes to be in the driver's seat.

She wants a man she can show off, because the only thing she can't do on her own is prove that she's loved, to herself or anyone else, and they are constantly fueling each others anxiety and self-doubt.

But Yamcha is constantly, through no fault of his own, gouging her Achilles tendon, because he physically cannot not react when he's attracted to a woman. Which means literally any time they are in public together, anywhere, Yamcha is Reacting to the women around him, when he's with Bulma.

Bulma, the one beautiful girl he no longer has that response to, because he's gotten used to her (although, who's to say if he could ever handle her naked or, uh, wanting without passing out. This poor man has the world's most inconvenient case of BDE). And in return, Bulma is consistently embarrassed about his arrogance in battle, which tends to end badly for him.

This hasn't changed! She is also embarrassed when Vegeta displays arrogance in battle.

The difference is, as Daima pointed out, Bulma can effectively use her value to him to dissuade his behavior. The never worked with Yamcha. They'd fight and he'd go to Kame House or somewhere she couldn't reach him.

(In the manga/Toriyama stories) Vegeta doesn't. Vegeta always comes home. Vegeta wants to be near Bulma. Even at the lowest point of their relationship, they're still in communication with each other. She doesn't always know where he is but she confidently reports that she knows he's been working hard. He's still asking her to build gear for him. She told him their son's name.

Vegeta can't be instigated the way that Yamcha could, because even if he's not starting fights, he's certainly not afraid to finish them. The things he's insecure about aren't generally things anyone else can use against him, because Vegeta is his own biggest fan and his own loudest critic.

Bulma can't rely on her lash-out habits with him like she could with Yamcha. There's no flowers and sorry babys and take-me-backs with Vegeta. If you say you're done, nothing in his history would make him assume that's code for 'chase me, beg me, change my mind'. Vegeta's culture is very Final. If it's over, it's Over.

Likewise, Vegeta can't rely on intimidation habits with her. The Back Offs and Bristling and I'll Kill Yous don't work on Bulma. So what? She's got friends to bring her back to life. She made candy that will give a grown man on-demand diarrhea. Death is not the most violent thing she can do to retaliate against an abuser. Get a new play, this one's boring.

They force each other to re-strategize how they handle conflict, and both grow as a result. The growth helps them trust and understand each other. The trust and understanding helps them figure out how to love each other, and how they need to be loved.

Yamcha and Bulma held hands and jumped into the abyss at 16 years old, and just assumed it would all make sense when they were older, the way kids do. Then, fell into the habit of just waiting for things to change. At the end of the day, they love each other, and that's enough, right? It'll work out because love is all you need.

Eventually they found out that love is, in fact, not all you need to maintain a healthy, committed adult relationship.

Vegeta and Bulma were the opposite. They were sharing space with each other for years before any romantic or sexual interest took hold. One was focused on his goals and was only ever home at night. The other was dealing with her relationship, and her job, and hunting for Dragon Balls, and rehoming tens of thousands of aliens while keeping the neighbors from knowing anything weird was going on.

By the time it was just the two of them, they'd already known each other for years and watched each other work and operate, and from that built a certain amount of mutual trust and respect. The next parts weren't smooth sailing by any measure, but neither of them trusted smooth sailing anyway.

What they did both trust is pragmatism, and decided that after the smoke cleared and the ground settled that they still liked each other's company and trusted each other's smarts enough to figure out how to fix the boat and navigate the water together.

It took years for them to decide that what they had was love, and that they were happy with that revelation. Vegeta likes having a partner who's outspoken and curious. Bulma likes having a partner who's grounded and structured. Both of them enjoy each other's confidence and intensity — even when it makes them Concerned(tm) — and those are things both of them grew up being told were the biggest flaw in their character.

And the best part is that Bulma and Yamcha still love each other SO MUCH, they're just happier and healthier as friends (at least, as always, in the manga).

[ultfreakme]

I can't believe I'm saying this. It burns me to say this. But holy fuck the people were right Sakura is annoying. It takes very little to convince me to like a female character and far too much to make me get anywhere near dislike. I don't think I've ever.....actively hated a female character. Ever. I've watched a lot of shonen anime and often, the female characters are not treated well but I've never once looked at a character and gone "you're hopeless". (I watched Fairy Tail for a solid 3 years and read the manga, and all my faves were the girls).

Every one of them had something.

I thought I'd walk away from Naruto liking Sakura and seeing her potential but she just. Sucks. This is not the first time I've engaged with a story with badly written female characters. I used to watch Supernatural and Teen Wolf for god's sake.

Usually, sexist writing leads to underdeveloped female characters for whom obvious plots go unaddressed. This frustration and general lack of involvement in plot + audience misogyny often leads to female characters being hated. But personally, none of these have ever made me hate them because when writers write them, regardless of future exploration, they are written to be likeable.

They don't WANT you to hate the character, so they are given base-level compelling motives and personality traits, shallow as they may be.

Sakura through and through is written like we're supposed to hate her. Naruto as a show is so focused on empathy. Talk No Jutsu might be boring and often misses the point, but it exists to emphasize Naruto's ability to reach out. The show's all about friendship, camaraderie, and loyalty to one another. Sakura is none of those things.

I truly began hating her when Five Kage Summit happened because of two things:

Her confession to Naruto

The way she talks about her feelings towards Sasuke

In both these cases, she seems to think she has both of them all figured out and centers herself, start to finish. She makes that fake confession to Naruto because she took Sai's word for why Naruto was doing it. Shizune said Naruto was doing it for Sasuke and not because of her, Sai doesn't KNOW any of them on a deeper level, and Naruto's her teammate who she's known for a while.

Yet she went with "oh he's just doing it for me". And okay fine I can sorta forgive it. But the confession itself was so shallow. She sounded like she was trying to be sincere but all she could talk about was how Naruto was a hero worthy of acknowledgement now that he had proven himself through achieving an impossible feat. She's confirming all of Naruto's worst fears and the source of his anger while thinking she understands him. She was spinning her actual thoughts regarding him into a love confession- and her actual thoughts are she thought he was a fool who knew nothing but is cool now because he's gained status.

Then with Sasuke, she gets a whole episode dedicated to thinking about him as she chased him down. I thought we might finally know why she was so dedicated to him.

The answer, in canon, as Sakura herself says is because she thought he was hot and cool. When she looked past it, all she saw was "darkness" that disgusted her. She thinks Naruto is trying to beat the darkness out of him. The only thing she sees in Sasuke is his physical appearance, which she likes, and this nebulous "darkness" which does not even want to try to understand.

She doesn't remember his kindness, his smile, his empathy, his willingness to put his life on the line for those he treasures. None of it, even though she was there to witness most of this.

She so hilariously and embarrassingly misunderstands both of her teammates who she apparently cherishes with such blind confidence it's hilarious. She's WRITTEN, INTENTIONALLY, to be shallow as fuck and uncaring for either of her teammates true feelings. She makes an assumption and runs with it, with zero urges to examine it.

She doesn't ask about Itachi when Naruto said the name in front of her during the bridge scene, she's not curious about him, she never initiates in trying to discern the situation. The person she evolves into in the future is also disgusting to me. Like she's such a nothing-burger of a character who exists to highlight Naruto & Sasuke's bond by showing how distant she is to either of them.

And this is not because of combat strength. Sasuke has openly expressed his dislike towards her because she has no spine. She says she'll kill whoever as a 12 year old on Sasuke's request. And she's exactly the fucking same when she hits 16. He hates liars and people with no conviction. Sasuke values strength but he also values integrity, intellect and tenacity. Karin is objectively far weaker than Sakura and he respects her. Same for Cat Baa-Chan and a lot of other characters. It genuinely doesn't take much to gain, at the very least, Sasuke's fundamental respect. Just believe in something and don't fucking breach his boundaries.

Sakura is so dismissive of his trauma and is wet noodle of a person with no ideology or goal beyond him, of fucking course he's annoyed by her.

idk her character is so fucking annoying after a point

[lostpiewrites]

Do you remember the rain?🌧

a/n : art credits for missatoru on insta. and slight manga spoiler.

synopsis : little did you know that your new summer job to make your pocket money would give you not only a new friend but a prom date AND the love of your life...

FT : Hiori Yo from blue lock

You needed money. Not because you came from a financially struggling family , but because they weren't approving of what you wanted. You are a senior year student and it is the most normal thing for a student to attend their own graduation party. You told your parents about it and they approved first but they backtracked when they saw the dress you want to wear because it was too "expensive".

a/n : any body type and skin color is appreciated. the photos are used only to show a visual image of the clothing you want to wear. (also if any brand name is visible , it isn't an advertisement).

You knew that wasn't the case and they didn't want to upset you by saying sth like "you can't wear that , it's too revealing for an 18 y.o to wear". You didn't blame them , you knew that they were trying to protect you. You also knew it was revealing , bold and probably not the best choice to wear at a prom party where there will be hormone machines walking around , thinking that they have grown up now that they have turned 18, chugging down goblets of alcohol like water. But it was a matter of pride for you. You took a bet from the queen bee of your school. She said that you would never be able to attend that party and look better than her and you said "Bet i would steal your date without trying". So you HAD TO attend that party. Because of that ; you cleaned the house , washed the dishes , cooked the dinner , mowed the lawn and acted as a "good girl" to bribe your family to accept your conditions. In the end , if you were to pay for the dress and the heels , you could attend the party wearing them.

So a few days later , you talked to one of your friend's older sister who works at a café , telling her that you would do anything if you were to be accepted as a part-time employeé. Through her , you were accepted in the same café as a part-time cleaner/waitress who works only on weekends , for 30$ per day. It was more than enough for you to save the money you needed for the dress until the prom party which is about 7 months later. You would go to school on weekdays and work on the weekends. It was a perfect plan but little did you know that God had even better plans for you...

Right now , at 8pm on a Saturday night , you were moping the floor. The café closed at 8pm and you were planning to go home after you finished cleaning. But until then , a heavy rain started. Thunders ,bone chilling cold, a few snowdrops here and there... All of it. The type of rain that people are scared to even just poke their heads out of their windows. So you thought "Okay looks like i am stuck here for a few hours. Glad that there is at least no school tomorrow". You cleaned everywhere and settled down onto a table , doing your research homeworks on internet to spend time as throughout the weekend you wouldn't have time to. You texted your parents about it and without waiting for an answer , you zoomed in.

About 20 minutes later , a guy around your age entered the café , even tho you were sure that you have hung the "closed" sign onto the door. He smiled politely and said with a cute Kansai dialect:

"Sorry , i have seen the closed sign but here is the only shop i have seen around here with lights on and people still inside. It's raining cats and dogs outside. Can i stay here until the rain stops ? Or at least slows down..?"

You looked at him up and down. He was drenched in water , hair damp and water droplets pooling down on the floor around him. You mentally squeezed your eyes shut and thought "omg nooooo! i have just mopped the floor. It will all be covered in mud right now. God why do you have to torture me like this ?" but caved in after seeing him shiver subtly even under the thick clothes he was wearing. "Well i am not that evil , it is probably freezing as well. Also it wouldn't hurt to have company this late at night. It's almost 9 pm. There may be creeps outside."

"You can stay , it's okay. I am here waiting for it to finish too."

After hearing that , he sighed relievedly and sat down next to you on the table. Putting down a sports bag next to him on the floor. You stood up , turned the heaters on , then went inside to bring both him and yourself a cup of hot chocolate . You gave him his while teasing him and chuckling.

"Ever heard of sth called umbrella ? With that much of cold water over you , you will probably catch a cold , dont get sick on me now... Here, drink this. Bon appetit. Oh and i am y/n y/l/n btw."

He laughed a little at how fast you were talking while taking the hot chocolate from you. He held the cup in his palms for a few moments for his hands to warm up. Than spoke :

"Thank u. And i am Hiori Yo. Nice to meet you y/n"

With introductions being out of the way , you chit-chatted for hours until the rain stopped. You told him everything about you and your story, how did you end up working here. Then he talked about himself , his soccer career and how did he end up in Blue Lock. Talking with him felt easy and comforting even tho you have overshared about yourself. He didn't judge. Laughed , cringed and gossiped with you like he was your personal therapist. Homework ? Long forgotten. After the rain stopped, you went home with the goofiest smile ever on your face and a phone number that will tie you to your destiny.

After that day , the 15 mins of bathroom breaks both at your school and at the café have become sacred periods of time for you. You don't even remember how... But not long after , they were a breath of fresh air between the brain-melting lessons of your school and "tf did i do this time ? why people are yelling at me ? i hate life" shifts at your small workplace . You could text him for whatever reason and there was never a single doubt in you. He would reply , always , no matter how "busy" he is ; without realizing that he puts the biggest of smiles on your face and recharges your social battery so you can continue dealing with people's shits. But little did you know that he was also looking forward to that spesific 3.25-3.40 pm period on weekends where he knew you would text him the stupidest shower thought on your mind , making him giggle like a school boy in love. But isn't that what he was ? A stupid , cringy school boy in love... One that always came to "study" in the café where you are working , ordered the most expensive drink/pastry so you could get more promotion bonus , scored more goals and played better overall to exchange the points he gained for a day he could spend with you out of that cursed blue lock building...

A few months after , he was nervously holding his phone and sitting on his bed. The Neo Egoist League have just ended a few days ago and he came home before the U20 world cup season started. "It should be easy. We are close friends." he thought. He was planning this all along , after the day he has met you in that café that you used to work. You have left the café after saving up enough money for that prom dress and heels. You were happy that you finally had ordered them and your parents would have no say in it due to your agreement. But he was upset that he wouldn't be able to see you more. So he had to ask this, if he wanted to spend more time with you. He nervously texted you , asking if he could be the prom date you wanted. It was a pleasant surprise for you. One that brought a few tears into your eyes. Because he wasn't from your school and knew nobody there but would go into lion's den to make you happy. Moreover , you wouldn't expect him to remember sth you casually mentioned about 7 fcking months ago. You accepted it. Without a second thought. Because if anyone would make you happy just by being beside you , it was him.

A few days later , you guys stood at the entrance of the hall. He was wearing a black suit , to match your dress. Your legs were wobbly because of your heels being too high. He gently held your hand to help you steady yourself. And just at that moment , a gentle rain started , as if congratulating him for the move. He looked up and giggled before saying ;

"Do you remember the rain that brought us together ? Does it accompany us on important dates ? Should we expect rain to come whenever we are having sth going on together?"

You laughed with him and followed him into the hall. You were the most beautiful girl in the whole party , with the most handsome boy in your life accompanying you. People were recognizing him as one of the blue lock's last 23 to play at the U20 world cup and looking at you like you have grown a 2nd head , wondering how in the world you could bring him in as your prom date. You have won the bet by now. You have always wanted to be seen by boys , that's why you took that bet and dolled up the prettiest you you could muster. But with him beside you , you wouldn't even give two flying flocks about it anymore.

While you guys were inside and having fun , the rain started pouring heavily , just like the day you two met , singing a romance song while you two slow-danced. And Hiori was right. It would accompany you on every important day in your lives. From your first date to the day you were walking down the aisle towards him with a wobbly legs because of your heels being too high...

[jujutsukgojo]

Sleepyhead

Dabi x Reader

Summary: You wished him good luck every time. Should you have kept them to yourself and let him die? tw: minor character death, major bnha manga/anime spoilers, implied abuse, attempted su*cide, tried to edit (pray)

Sleepyhead has finally woken up. He stumbles out of the room and looks at you. His eyes are crystal blue haloed with fluttery white lashes. Now that he’s awake, he’s prettier than when he was asleep even though Mr. Sunny disagreed with his looks. Mr. Sunny said something about him being beyond disfigured from the fire. To you, he’s still strangely handsome. You continue to chew on a bag of chips against Mr. Sunny’s wishes. “Hi, Sleepyhead. Nice to meet you.”

  When he frowns, you immediately go on the defense. “Don’t tell on me, okay?”

He looks at you confused and nods. He hasn't talked yet, unfortunately; hopefully he can. It must have taken a lot for him to wake up and move around. It'd be a shame if he couldn't speak. 

“They’re over there.” You point down the hall, and he takes off in that direction. You don’t know why Sleepyhead is so eager to meet Mr. Sunny and the rest. He’s never seen them since he’s been asleep this whole time. In fact, you came in at the same time he did and never has he woken up. It's a bit of a running joke. All of the kids draw pictures of him being sleeping beauty. Those drawings are even in his room, wishing for him to wake up. So, seeing him actually move is weird. You have watched him grow and now he's mobile. It's hard to explain why his open eyes throw you off.

You overhear that one girl be her own version of a welcoming committee. She calls for Mr. Sunny. You quickly finish your snack and put the wrapper in the band of your pants. Mr. Sunny walks by. He stops and looks at you. The saltiness of the chips stick to your throat.

  “What’re you doing, little one?” His voice holds a fake sweetness. You curl your toes in your slippers, hoping for something to ground you. “Nothing. Sleepyhead just walked by.”

“Oh! Did you say hello?” You nod. His face looks like the sun but underneath is evil. Yet somehow, there is an even greater evil behind him, behind this whole operation. “What did he say?”

“Nothing.”

“Hm. Open your mouth.” He looks at you like he's appraising you. You swallow and give a thin, shallow smile. The empty bag of chips becomes more obvious to you as it touches your body. Your sweat slightly sticks to it. 

“Where am I?” The teenage Sleepyhead asks. He whispers a question of his voice and caresses his throat. Mr. Sunny turns his attention to him. “Todoroki! Nice to see you. Come with me and everything will be explained,”

Your hands are behind your back. He stops and looks at you. “Show me what’s behind you, my dear.”

You show him your hands then turn around in a circle. “Mhm. Open your mouth for me.” 

Your heart rate speeds up. There are still some crumbs in your mouth. Sleepyhead interrupts him. “What’re you doing? I’m serious! I need to see my family. Mom, Fuyumi, Natsu, Shouto, my dad!”

  As he says this, he makes eye contact with you. “My apologies, Touya Todoroki. You’ve been through a lot. I should prioritize that. Follow me.”

 Sleepyhead walks behind him. In the distance Mr. Sunny asks, “What was she doing when you saw her?”

Fear settles in your stomach. “Nothing. Just standing there.” Before he goes in the room, Sleepyhead makes eye contact with you. You nod and leave the area, not wanting to be anywhere near Mr. Sunny. 

Quickly, you dispose of the wrapper, take a drink of water then brush your teeth. Laying on your bed you draw another picture for Sleepyhead. There's no sun, sky, or a moon. Instead, there is a familiar building that you loved before you were swept up here. You color it with open doors and a red curtain in the back. On the stage is a small drawing of the familiar woman who sang beautifully. Sleepyhead will like this. You put him on a bench next to the building with a bag of chips in his hand. The next time you have them, you will give them to him as a thank you.

  Suddenly, the building shook. You gasped and sat up in your bed. Dust from the ceiling falls. Not feeling safe, you get up and leave the room. The hallway is warm like when you open an oven. You head deeper into it, confused on why it’s so hot. At the end of it is a bright blue, consuming light. It eats away the walls and ceiling. There is only one person in the facility that can do this.

  You gasp and head in the other direction as it travels in every way it can. At the end of the hall is a window. If you can get to it, you can jump out and be free. The problem is, is that you tried that once and it wouldn’t budge without Mr. Sunny’s permission or at least a strong enough quirk. You bang on it and try to open it. The building gets hotter and hotter. “Open, open, open!” 

  You hear people scream and Mr. Sunny yells for a straight line. His voice is hoarse, and he’s obviously hurt with the groans and hisses he makes. They’re going to leave you? 

  The banging, pushing, shoving, the window isn’t helping at all. Its steel frame refuses to let the window move. The heat increases and sweat pours off of you. Smoke surrounds the area, even the outside. They’re leaving you.

Suddenly, you hear footsteps behind you. You turn to see Sleepyhead walk through the flames. “Where’s the door, dolly?”

  He stands on the fluttering blue light. You tap on the window behind you. Sleepyhead frowns but heads straight anyway. “Move.”

You follow his direction and shriek when the panel flies off the wall and the glass is melted off. Sleepyhead exits the window. You can’t make it across without hurting yourself. How is he able to? Ah, that's right. He cannot feel pain. Before he can leave, you lean and grab his shoulders. He looks back at you with furrowed brows and misty eyes that are not from physical pain. Without even asking him, you press your weight on his shoulders and jump out the window, missing the embers wanting to expand and the melted glass painted on the grass.

  He growls and swings to pick you up. You're safely in his very warm arms. “Get off of me.” He puts you down on a safe spot and takes off. You run too and when he sees you follow, he pushes you down. “They’re over there!”

  “You don’t understand…”

“Get away from me!” He runs again. You follow him much to his annoyance. Then, you see which direction he’s headed. “No, this way!”

He yanks his arm back. “I am not going back there. I have a family, friends, people that love and need me. I am not like you guys.”

It stings. “That way,” You point to his set direction. “Is where the doctor is and where the big boss goes sometimes. If they see you, they’ll grab you. I know a good way out.”

  Interested, he follows you. There’s a buzzing noise over your heads. You gasp and grab his hand. You run to the trees. “W-why are you so fast?”

“Nomu! That’s what we’re gonna be if we don’t run!” Sleepyhead looks at the sky behind him. There are large bodies with their brains showing, flying around. They look under themselves and scout, no doubt for the two runaways. Your heart is pounding in your ears as a white one goes right above you, its eyes barely missing you. 

  Finally, you reach the edge of the cliff. A few tufts of grass surround the dirt. Beyond that is a river that gently flows. You’ve made it to this part before and know what’s at the end. “Can you swim?”

“Um, yeah? Not the best, though.” He looks down with fearful eyes.

You hold his hand tighter. “Hang onto me.” You grab his hand and jump. He screams as the two of you descend into the cold water. You hang onto his hand as you travel through the water. It chills you down to your bones but it is better than the alternative. If Doctor Garaki talks to Mr. Sunny and finds out that the two of you are gone, it could mean that the big guy, All For One, or something, could come.

The water pushes you two around and neither of you let go of each other. With grace, you dodge debris and pull him closer, encircling your arms around him as the rushing water guides you away. 

  Pebbles curl underneath your fingers when you pull yourself out with Sleepyhead’s hand in yours. He coughs and breathes heavily. “We have to keep moving. Down here is a street.”

“A street,” He coughs. “To where?”

“People that aren’t them. I remember seeing it.” You spotted it when you were pulled out of the water by a flying nomu. You have yet to touch the pavement of the street or smell the lavish perfumes from the boutique at the corner or get a good look in the pet store that is a few doors down. Colorful clothes and expensive cellphones have been next to the facility where children were held for years. 

He gets up shakily and goes with you, his hand still in yours. The wind blows against you, chilling your body through your wet clothes. You gasp but keep on with the plan anyway. You and Sleepyhead have gotten far. There’s no turning back now.

  You push the tree branches and leaves out of the way and show that you were right. The street is busy with people and life. The sun shines bright on the passing people who go about their daily lives, not once thinking that there is a monstrosity not too far from them. 

  “I…I know this. I know this! I can’t be far from home!” Sleepyhead yanks his hand away from yours and goes to the left. You follow him. 

“What? No! Go away. This is my family. Go to your own.” He pushes you down to the ground, the pavement scraping against your palms. Someone scolds him. “Young man, control yourself! Now apologize.”

  He growls and clenches his fists. “Sorry.” The old lady nods and helps you up then leaves. You notice how she didn’t even bother to comment on both of your appearances. Clearly, there is something wrong with the two kids in front of her, yet she walks away.

“Happy?” 

You shrug. Sleepyhead turns around and continues to his home. Once again, you run behind him. At first he growls in frustration but ignores you in the end, except for running faster and using evasive maneuvers to lose you. Of course, they all fail.

  The soles of your feet take a toll. Now that the adrenaline is wearing down, you’re beginning to feel the weight of everything. This is enough physical activity for a lifetime. Thankfully, you’re not the only one who feels that way. Sleepyhead slows down to a halt. He’s breathing heavily and has his hands on his knees. “Come on. If you stop, it’ll be harder to finish.”

  He pushes himself up and jogs. The two of you come across a street that no doubt belongs to the rich. There are kominkas and modern homes next to each other, all different yet have a lavish quality. It’s something that you know you’d never be able to afford. It’s a miracle you’re even here. 

  “Are one of these yours?” You shake your head no. “You can’t,” He gasps for breath. “Come with me.”

“Where do I go?” 

He cocks his head. “Fine, fine.” He grabs your hand roughly and limps to another house that isn’t quite as big as the kominka down the road. Sleepyhead brings you to the gate. “Knock on the door, alright?”

Before he leaves, you say, “Goodbye Sleepyhead, and I wish you good luck.”

“My name’s Touya.”

“I’m (Y/n).” He looks back at you. “Thanks for everything, doll.” He limps around the corner. You have a small smile and flutters in your tummy. Taking a deep breath, you push the button on the gate and it opens. Your legs are aching, and your feet are blistered. Whoever owns this house must be good if Sleepyhead dropped you here.

You knock on the door.

----

You walk home from work with the streetlights that are just now flickering on to guide you. Right as you are rubbing your shoulders, you hear voices to your right range in pitch and volume. You tread along the sidewalk and hope not to run into anyone unsavory. Suddenly, right when you come across an alley, it erupts into flames that create a woosh sound. 

The heat is intense and consuming. People scream so loud it echoes on the brick buildings’ walls. There is nothing you can do for them except watch in horror. Some of the people move around frantically, and others roll on the ground.  Lucky for them, their pain is soon gone as the flames ended them in seconds.

  You are at the end of the alley, clutching your purse for dear life. Smoke blows your way as the assailant walks closer to you. His black boots don't melt and his trench flows behind him, letting him look like a true villain, even without his dastardly deeds

  Now he is feet from you, you remember who he is. He has changed a little but looking at his face for three years straight lets you recognize him anywhere. His eyes are still jewels and have hardened, purple scars have spread, and his hair is dyed. He has staples rather than the bonded skin he left with.

And yet, you see him even though it’s been years. "Are you scared, doll?" His voice is deeper and smoother than it was last time you saw him. 

You shake your head no. He doesn't smile but cocks his head to the side. He is letting you go. Before you can leave, you turn back to him and say, “Wish you good luck, Sleepyhead.” 

Nothing else needed to be said between you two. Not even a nod or wave. There is a sense of familiarity, a camaraderie, a bond, that was created in a facility designed to abduct and trick children into nomus and spare quirks for All For One. There is nothing needed when it comes to you two.

-----

Lately, there has been a terrorist organization that has grown drastically. Among them is a blue flame user named Dabi. Without seeing him, you know who it is and have a feeling of what he is doing. He had dropped you off at his neighbor’s house and went to his family. He made sure you knew about them and how desperate he was to go back to them. If he has turned into this, it has to do with them.

 On every screen is a shirtless Sleepyhead. He is covered in staples and scars. He talks about an unfair justice system and fake heroes. You look around and see everyone’s reactions to him.

He goes on about his backstory and doesn't bring up the facility, only Endeavor and his crappy parenting. You don't know whether to be offended or not. No, this is a wish for good luck. Because if he did, you'd be in deep shit. So instead, you nod and say, “Good luck, Sleepyhead.”

  You walk away and head home, not paying any more attention to the man on the screen or even to the people who whisper the name, Dabi.  There’s no need for any comments or corrections. At this rate, you may see him again.

This thought occurred again when he decided to attempt suicide. It was painful to see that because you saw Sleepyhead still and not Dabi. You saw Touya, who ran away with you and the one who didn't tell anyone about the potato chips, and the one who spared you from his flames twice. You can't listen to the fear and cries of others anymore. You sit on the bench with your hands in your lap, holding the wish of good luck. It is his if he wants it. And with this oncoming explosion, he doesn't want it this time.

In the fortress of U.A, you can’t do anything but have him on your mind, and the question of if your wishes meant anything.

---

Not too long after, you’re called to go to a special secured room. It’s one for the extremely injured patients or the dangerous. You knock first then open the door. Inside is a vault with a charred person inside. There is no one in the room but there were visitors before your arrival. You spot the vase with pretty blue flowers in it, a food tray with what looks like a single soba noodle lying in the trash, and a book on the table. 

  "Sleepyhead?" The machine beeps in response. In the doctor's notes, it says he is only able to speak for a few minutes a day. Since his family was here, those minutes are probably used up. 

You enter deeper into the room and stand in front of Sleepyhead. "I'm only here to get your vitals, I won't be long." Another beep. You check the machine then gently touch him. He cannot feel pain, but it is still considerate to be careful. His skin is completely charred, his fluffy hair is gone. He may not be able to physically feel pain, however, that doesn't mean he cannot feel the burden of it. The fact that he knows his condition is painful enough. 

After a few short minutes, a hoarse voice says, “Should’ve kept your wishes for yourself. They did me nothing.”

Sleepyhead's eyes follow you. “They were yours, nonetheless.”

There's a deep humorless chuckle. His voice sounds slurred almost. His tongue is probably burnt again. “You aren’t grossed out, dollface? Not even a little?”

You shake your head no. “I’ve seen worse,” You settle down on the chair that is to his left. “That one was you, by the way. When you first came in, you looked a lot like this but a little worse.” You hear a shuddered breath. “This is the most we’ve ever talked, ain’t it?”

“I think? When we were running, we might've talked more?” It's crazy how that is. You feel connected to him but have only spoken a few words to each other.

“(Y/n),” You don’t comment on how he remembers your name despite only telling him once. “I messed up, messed up badly. I’m dying.”

“Isn’t that how you wanted it?”

“Not now. Not when…everything is getting clearer.” You raise your brow. “Clearer?”

He takes a deep breath. "I hate him, that old bastard. But it cost me my life and siblings. Everything could’ve been different. There's still so much I hav-" He coughs. 

"Don't waste your energy, Sleepyhead."

  He sighs. "It feels good to talk about it," You nod, encouraging him to continue if he wants. Sleepyhead looks to the ceiling and continues. "His favorite food is soba, just like me. We have the same favorite color, too. Dollface, I messed up. I broke my family." You don’t know who exactly he’s talking about, but it isn’t Endeavor. Endeavor doesn’t look like the type to like soba.

  "That wasn't just you, Touya. You were just the biggest crack in the glass house." You write down his numbers. "Honestly, Sleepyhead, I think this was bound to happen. Your home was built on glass when it’s not supposed to be, I think."

"So positive." He wheezed. You look at him, not moving from your seat. "No one can change the past, it’s set in stone and the future is just bare pages. That is how I think of it at least.”

He listens. “You can’t rewrite history but you can learn from it. Bear that burden in your current and write the lessons on the future pages. Endeavor made his bed and will lie in it. You can too, if you want."

 After a few beeps, you speak. "I think it's evil of them to let you suffer though. You should die in peace. You got to say and do what you wanted." His eyes trail to you. "What would you like, Sleepyhead?"

"Bare pages."

"What if it ends up the same?" 

His chest rises and falls. Sleepyhead lifts one finger to you. "It was you, right, angel?" You nod. He was bound to piece it together. It's just unfortunate that he figured it out eleven years later. Sad that on death’s door he figured out who you were.

"Can I still wish you good luck?" He can no longer talk today, so he'll blink.

You get up and walk to him. "Then I will see you later, Sleepyhead." You kiss his nose, just as you did last time. He looks shocked at you then closes his eyes. You will see him again, just like before. However, you are sure to piece him together right this time. With every wish good luck to pump his heart and organs again, every stitch to his skin is more careful. You don't have pressure or evil behind you, breathing on your neck. 

  Now, you can take your time piecing Sleepyhead together and hopefully, it won't feel weird seeing his eyes open.

[retrosofa]

It's been 10 years and I still don't understand why Kill la Kill gets a pass for having fan service while Cutie Honey constantly gets condemned for it. Likewise, I don't understand how Re: Cutie Honey (arguably one of the raunchier adaptations) also gets a pass while the other series (namely the original) are quickly dismissed.

Recently I heard someone praise Re: Cutie Honey and Kill la Kill but was apprehensive about watching the original Cutie Honey simply because Honey is depicted as 16 years old. This confuses me for a number of reasons:

I never finished Kill la Kill because I hated it so I might've missed something but isn't Ryuuko also a teenager?

Honey is an android so her age is absolutely dubious. Although Honey is depicted as an "adult" in Re: Cutie Honey, she's mentally a child - especially in the live action tie-in where she outright says she's only one year old. So, isn't that kind of worse? Honey is very much an adult woman in New Cutey Honey (166 years old, apparently!) yet I don't see the Kill la Kill/Re: crowd praising that version. Also there are plenty of people who are fine with Cutey Honey Flash even though Honey is actually 16 years old in that version, which arguably has more fanservice than the original.

I'm sure a lot of folks don't realize this because they probably haven't actually bothered to watch it but the original Cutie Honey is extremely tame, especially by today's standards? The more problematic aspects are all over the manga (which I'll give you guys that, I have a hard time defending it) and the nudity is pretty much exclusive to her transformation scenes. It also worth mentioning the Hayami family is never celebrated for any of their problematic behavior. Take for instance a scene where Seiji tries to kiss Honey while she's asleep. He is immediately slapped before anything can happen, the entire scene shows that he is in the wrong. Quite the opposite happens in another magical girl show - Sailor Moon (which as you guys know, I love and adore) - where this sort of thing is heavily romanticized. Also Danbei also makes a lot of sexist comments at the beginning of the series, namely downplaying Honey capabilities simply because she's a woman. This stops shortly after he finds out about her battles with Panther Claw and realizes she's not this feeble little girl he's framed her as. Character development, what a concept!

For the record, I do like Re: Cutie Honey (I wouldn't have worked on the official English release if I didn't!) but it bothers me that it's the only version that most fans praise and make excuses for. Meanwhile the original anime gets dismissed quickly simply because it's 50 years old or something. I don't know. It's annoying. Like literally nearly every Cutie Honey property (and trust I've seen and read basically all of them) is problematic to some extent. Most older media is in one way or another.

I know it's not for everyone but it's sad to see the original Cutie Honey as well as New Cutey Honey and even at times Cutey Honey Flash get pushed aside like this. Re: Cutie Honey is an incredible series for sure but that's not all there is. Honey is such an incredible character and I'm not always fond with the way she was written in Re: Cutie Honey. I say all of this has someone who does not love Honey for the fanservice. I'm just a gay man who likes awesome heroines and that's what Honey is to me.

*drops mic*

[mikayuumouse]

(asking you about sskk since you asked which I've already asked to starlightshadowsworld )

Hey so this is quite random but remember when akutagawa thought he'd finally killed/beaten atsushi in their battle on that cargo ship in s1? In the manga after Akutagawa's anger has finally calmed down he, with a sorrowful expression on his face, wonders, "what killing him does anything good for me?" Later in the guild arc we see him making killing atsushi his final goal though he does say killing him a hundred times won't give him any satisfaction in rage. In 55 minutes ( we can assume it happens after the guild arc and before the cannibalism arc) akutagawa confirms that he doesn't hate Atsushi but he just can't simply move forward unless he tears him apart. Which is made more complicated when Atsushi realizes akutagawa had a sorrowful expression when he (aku) cut his (atsu's) throat. Showing the duality of Akutagawa's words and heart.This duality becomes more prominent when Fukuchi asks akutagawa if atsu's life is that much important to him. You can literally see the expression of shock and realization on his face. Also point to be noted he didn't answer the question. So my question to you is, when did his feelings start to change? when did he start to associate atsu's death as his primary goal? When did he realize he didn't actually want that? I'd love to hear your interpretations!

Omg wait this is such an interesting ask oml. Genuinely obsessed with the evolution of Akutagawa's feelings towards Atsushi 🙏

I think that when Fukuchi asked him "is his life that precious to you?" it was definitely when he genuinely realized how much he cared about Atsushi and Atsushi's life. And another thing is, I don't think Akutagawa died to save Atsushi because Dazai ordered him to, I think he did it simply just because he wanted to save Atsushi and would give up his life for that. Dazai did say "you know the reason yourself don't you?" when Dazai claimed that Akutagawa would save Atsushi, so I think Dazai is aware of how much Akutagawa actually values Atsushi, but in his usual Dazai manner, he didn't give Akutagawa any answers

But I think Akutagawa started caring for Atsushi before the fight with Fukuchi. I personally think that ever since they've met, Akutagawa has been enamored of sorts with Atsushi. His eyes lit up and he said "that's more like it" when Atsushi transformed in front of him when they first met, and this was before he learned Atsushi was Dazai's new subordinate

I don't think Akutagawa's ever hated Atsushi for WHO he is, he even said "I only hated you for your good fortune". He was envious, but never hated Atsushi as a person

(on a side note, it's clear that they get along in a non hostile environment from reading BEAST. They get along flawlessly so you can't say they're not compatible, in a domestic setting they are. And that's why I personally think they make the perfect couple and should get married)

I think Akutagawa's first feelings towards Atsushi were very conflicted. I think he admired Atsushi's strength but also hated it. Their fight on the cargo ship with Kyouka probably didn't change much, but Akutagawa inevitably learned more about Atsushi through that fight, and also how he valued Atsushi's life

On the Moby Dick fighting against Francis is when I think Akutagawa's feelings shifted from a type of animosity to more of...a connection. I think on the Moby Dick is when Akutagawa's character started to be intertwined with Atsushi more. They fought together instead of against each other (although they also still fought each other) and I think that made Akutagawa's perspective really change, where he started to respect Atsushi

(also there was a rainbow in the background when they finished the fight so um 👀)

The cannibalism arc, in my opinion, is when Akutagawa fell in love with Atsushi. (I know Sskk isn't canon LMAO but let a girl have her delusions<3). Okay, on a canon note, it's not that he fell in love (🤞) but I think Sskk's relationship GREATLY changed within the cannibalism arc (more people need to talk about it I swear)

Atsushi and Akutagawa had a talk about why Atsushi "saves people even though he's a coward" (to loosely quote Akutagawa), and Atsushi said because it was the right thing to do. But what he didn't say was that he was selfish and saved others to have a reason to live, he only thought that with a flashback to his orphanage. But later on, Atsushi says to Akutagawa "you already know the answer" after Akutagawa asks him why he saves people again. That really goes to show how much they understand each other without words, because Akutagawa does know

I think this really strengthened their understanding of each other

Also Pushkin shoots at Akutagawa and Atsushi pushes him out of the way right after they have that conversation, so that shows character development. I know you can technically argue "well it's Atsushi of course he'd push his teammate out of harm's way" but Atsushi knows how strong Akutagawa is and his capability with Rashomon, he could probably block that bullet. Yet, despite that, he's still scared Akutagawa's going to get shot and get hurt, so he pushed him to the ground anyway. Because he cared

Also in their fight against Ivan, it's the first time they use Kokko Zessou/Kokuto Zessou (I can never remember the spelling but it's just Beast Beneath the Moonlight x Rashomon). It's when they stop bickering and work together, it's when they put innate and unwavering trust in each other

A thing about Shin Soukoku is that a lot of their relationship goes unspoken. Because they don't need the words. And their trust is something that's not said with words, yet it's quite clearly there

So back to core question of this ask, I think Akutagawa's feelings started to change ever since the Moby Dick. I think he realized how changed they were after the fight against Ivan, and I think alongside his realization that he trusted Atsushi and genuinely cared about him, he realized he couldn't break the promise he and Atsushi had made

Also, regarding the six months deal, I have so many questions for how that's going to go down. Akutagawa can't kill Atsushi. Atsushi can't kill Akutagawa. I wonder how Asagiri is going to write that

And the only real reason why Akutagawa ever wanted to kill Atsushi was because of Dazai and Dazai's validation. If he proves himself to Dazai and defeats the weretiger, he'll finally get recognition. But now, Akutagawa doesn't seem to need Dazai's validation, regarding chapter 123. I really don't think there's any point for the six months deal to actually happen, but Asagiri might use it as a manoeuver to be able to let Akutagawa and Atsushi talk together

And oh my GOD chapter 123. And 122. The path of Akutagawa's feelings towards Atsushi is definitely long and sort of up to interpretation with some bits, but in the latest chapters, we know how his feelings have ended up

(this man is madly in love with Atsushi no one's changing my mind)

The past few chapters have had a lot of Akutagawa introspection and development, and it's honestly so interesting to finally see what he actually thinks of Atsushi. It's far from hate at this point, and what his feelings for Atsushi were along the way are definitely something complex

His feelings now are...well there's a lot to comb through. He cares about Atsushi, Atsushi is his reason to live, he'd do anything to get Atsushi back, he's dealing with the loss of Atsushi...

Oh I can't wait for this arc to unfold

But yeah those are my thoughts/slight analysis on how I think Akutagawa's feelings have changed, thank you for the ask :DD

[badgalsasuke]

What do you think of this take? https://www.tumblr.com/ultfreakme/776156606853513216/i-am-just-120-episodes-into-naruto-but-ive-been?source=share

I know you hate those who spewed that "Sns is accidentally made gay" agenda but I think I also don't like that this person reduces sns connection as just "performing masculinity for each other" cause like.. what exactly do you mean here? Because they brutally fight each other untill it turns ugly and bloody I guess they deem it as "performing masculinity"? Not even acknowledging how they fight as equally powerful ninjas and the manga repeatedly said that their fights are a way to reach each other's hearts?

Naruto and sasuke's connection has always been about their shared loneliness, one wants so sever it and the other wants to chase and preserve this bond. It's not just about some bootleg clapped rivalry that has no basis and substance other than just wanting to fight each other. Man I hate when fans of other mlm shonen ships get into sns and don't try to understand the specialty and uniqueness of sns and instead just apply the typical half assed argument of how "shonen is inherently homoerotic" and call it a day.

Notice how that post also correlates misogyny in the writing of female characters as some kind of argument on whether or not sns are written intentionally as gay when that one thing has nothing to do with the other. Even if the female characters are given all the best writing in the world, the dynamic written for sns still remains separate? Idk but I just don't like it when so-called sns fans are given chance to analyze things about this ship, their only take away is just "it's just because the het ships are written terribly because the female characters are treated poorly so bla bla bla" like you're supposed to be talking about sns the ship not about the female characters no? You do know they are in separate forms of writing and one can exists without the other, right?

Hi!

I finally got time to answer your ask, so here we go.

I had already interacted w/ the person whose post you've linked and they have not finished the series and it shows. As they say in their own post, they're only 120 episodes in.

The post reads like 1. they're young 2. their understanding of both the women's writing and homoromantic and homoerotic writing is that of a young person who thinks one cancels out the other one. This post does a great job explaining why it's not necessarily this way [LINK]

Also I think they're watching the anime instead of reading the manga? which is going to give you a very different perspective on things, we all know how studio pierrot changes stuff even in canon episodes.

So that said, I think we've gotta give this person grace. They're getting started with both the series and the ship and I feel it's like a rite of passage to feel "Naruto and Sasuke aren't gay, the female characters are badly written and that's why Kishimoto accidentally wrote them that way".

So keeping this in mind, now that I'll respond to parts of the post linked.

The Shinobi world values power, only men and boys are allowed to be powerful because "girls are weak and don't have the same amount of drive to push themselves as the booooooysss doooo".

Well, this isn't exactly accurate. Girls are allowed to be powerful and have the same amount of drive as boys do, but like they said prior to this, because Naruto is a manga for boys it will focus on its male characters more. Never in the manga it is stated that girls are not allowed to be powerful, like at all. Tsunade, Konan, Mei Terumi, Temari, Ino and so on have shown they can be as powerful and competent as their male counterparts with the exception of Naruto, Sasuke, Madara and Hashirama (because they are the most powerful to ever lived and have the chakra of literal gods). This is more Kishimoto focusing on the plot of the main characters that happen to be male because again this is a shonen manga, rather than a misogynistic belief he has that girls can't be powerful.

Naruto wants to get stronger not to impress Sakura. No, no, she's obviously secondary, her affection is the prize. Naruto ACTUALLY wants to get stronger to beat Sasuke. Not just beat him, to get him to acknowledge his masculinity. This isn't a gay thing, this is just how guys interact irl. They put on a whole performance where they act like they feel nothing around their guy friends when you know you saw that dude acting very different with the girls and the gays and the theys.

I suppose this was the part that bothered you the most, and I can see why. I don't entirely get the "she's secondary, her affection is the prize" I guess they're referencing the whole thing about Naruto's promise to Sakura? Like they think Naruto is doing all that because he promised Sakura to bring back Sasuke to the village because Naruto "loves" Sakura? I guess they haven't reached Sakura's fake confession in the series yet, idk.

The part about Naruto only wanting to get stronger so Sasuke awknowledges his "masculinity" is very reductive of Kishimoto's writing and of Naruto's devotion for Sasuke. Trying to paint it as just bros trying to impress other bros and I really disliked how they say "dudes act very different w/ the girls and the gays and the theys", idk but to me it feels like they're ignoring Naruto and especially Sasuke's queer-coded writing, not in their bond, but in themselves as characters, as if they were straight-presenting or something when they're not.

It's not only his masculinity what Naruto wants awknowledged, its his existence and above everything his own pain, Kishimoto already explained it during the Kizuna interview best

Sasuke and Naruto awknowledge each other and craved this awknowledgement because they wanted someone who noticed and understood the pain and trauma they've been through. That's why Naruto explicitly states Sasuke saved him by awknowledging him. To say what Naruto wants is "hey bro, look how strong I am!" it's a superficial reading of the text.

Also, I don't think this person has read Kishimoto's interviews. I noticed with "I've heard Kishimoto wrote this story to center around the ways in which these two support one another [...]" like yeah, you've heard somewhere from someone who knows if it was the complete statement. To be honest if you don't read his interviews you're gonna believe everything is accidental because once you start reading the complete full interviews you realize everything is intentional because Kishimoto is telling he did everything intentionally.

Intentional or not, the extent of it can vary however much but this is how you do it. It doesn't matter if you didn't know the recipe to making cake crepe and accidentally made pancakes. You've got a fucking pancake. Naruto and Sasuke's relationship accidentally stumbled right into a romantic dynamic from the get-go.

Ah yeah, the good ol' skepticism all new sns shippers have when they start the series, it's so gay even fujos can't believe it and try to rationalize it (because deep down people believe no one respects queer stories enough to want to write them intentionally).

Kishimoto accidentally stumbled right into a romantic dynamic from the get-go. Because there's no way he spent 15 years of his life intentionally writing a romantic dynamic in his own manga that he created lol neither Kishimoto nor his first editor Yahagi nor his second editor Otsuki nor any of the assistants working with Kishimoto were able to notice they were accidentally stumbling right into a romantic dynamic lmao

I get why people can be skeptical but at some point they need to get a grip and realize professionals know what they're doing.

Idc about author intentionality and what the man and his editors have said (death of the author yada yada). The text of Naruto is just, this.

This is just dumb. Also the only part that bothered me in the whole text. It's straight up anti-intellectualism. I don't know if you've read it but I've written about this sentiment so prevalent in the Naruto fandom and how it's what's holding them back from truly grasping the full depth of the writing [LINK]

Other people have written great posts on why you shouldn't disregard author intentionality when reading a text (because it's dumb!), especifically Kishimoto's intentionality, here, here and here,

[sonofthesaiyans]

Attack on Titan's blackest moment.....

Four years ago today, and it still hurts to know it came to this for her. A character who was so iconic and beloved, a girl who seemed destined for so much more.

Four years ago, the last we saw of our beloved Potato Girl, Sasha Braus.

She truly had a great thing going, an strong, energetic, yet frightened young woman who nevertheless fought through the ugliness of the world inside the Walls, and grew into one of its most able protectors when the call came. She often seemed out of place in the Scouts, but truly represented what they stood for.

She had everything to be even greater and stronger, perhaps one of the heroes of humanity in the final fight against Eren.

And all of that was thrown away.....And for what? FOR THIS:

Gabi Braun will always be a vile, obnoxious, and unnecessary sack of shit who existed only to hold down the entire series, by stealing Sasha's rightful place in a circle of characters where she will always be the odd one out that NEVER should have been.

I don't give a fuck what her defenders say, and for them to continue she's a well written character is all in service of Isayama's worst deceit. All of Attack on Titan's final act exists only to push this goddamn little usurper, with every trick in the book pulled to pry sympathy for a character who was given zero likable traits and was too late to the scene for any investment to feel legitimate. All for the most contrived and dishonest character arc in the history of anime. There's a right and a wrong way to do redemption arcs, and Gabi Braun is a prime example of how it can be abused at the expense of the story. This is what happens when you let an author show open disrespect to the fandom by blatantly playing favorites through the entire context of the story, which essentially carried Gabi all the way to the end by forcing her into the main plot in the worst way imaginable.

The fact that any chance Sasha had at an ongoing arc in season four, to take part in the final fight against Eren and the fact that her killer was given a fucking happy conclusion at the expense of her own is a grave insult to someone who was not even allowed to go out with any real dignity. One who had been with us ever since the beginning.

No worse image than that of Sasha bleeding out, unable to speak, with her memory exploited by Isayama at every turn simply to push whatever agenda he sought to fulfill with the biggest bitch in anime.

Such a grave injustice. And we so richly deserved to see Gabi receive some for what she did.

Should have let Kaya finish the job, Mikasa. You OWED Sasha that much. NONE OF YOU owed anything to that fucking little shit.

And she's certainly not owed any of our sympathy. This kid had no conscience to speak of before her life was directly threatened.

Was what we lost REALLY worth it all?

Assassin's Bullet is and remains one of the WORST things I've ever seen in my life, and it singlehandedly tainted my experience with both manga and anime. It'll forever be one of the worst things in any anime, and we still deserve more and BETTER from Sasha Braus. The only redemption I want is a redemption from this travesty's very existence.

Forever remember Sasha Braus. Her big heart, her laugh, her kindness, her hunger for all the good things in life, her incredible integrity and selflessness........It's a loss that still feels far too real. And she deserves better than to be remembered as a mere tool for such a shameful and manipulative sideshow as what Hajime Isayama dealt us.

To the real heart of Attack on Titan, I will love you always Sasha Braus.

There is no Attack on Titan without Sasha.