#(genuinely cannot remember the content of the original scene. but i know it takes place on earth)

[tyrannuspitch]

on one hand on principle i want to support alan taylor in his doomed battle against the marvel machine. but on the other hand i've already imprinted upon the mess we actually got and when i hear about 90% of what alan taylor originally wanted to do with it all i can think to say is. sorry alan. that sounds bad

[odi-et-amo85]

edit: All of these are my personal viewing experiences. I tried my best to be polite about them, but please don’t be rude when my opinions aren’t the same as yours. 🙏

I know that someone (might have been a mutual) tagged me in this, but the tag didn’t work. Yet I saw my url and thought by myself, “I should remember this.” 😬 Yet a week has passed (of me postponing and not being sure whether I could fill out the whole thing), and now I have forgotten who the kind person was who selected me for this challenge. Whoever you are, kob khun ka. 💚 So, here we go:

1. Your all time favourite bl and why: This has to be A Tale of 1,000 Stars; I cannot explain exactly what it is that makes it so unforgettable for me. Perhaps it’s because it was my very first BL. But whatever it is, the entire atmosphere around it makes it my all time fave: the unconventional story, the characters, the underlying message, the location, the humour, the metaphors (hornbills my beloved 🥰). Whenever I feel gloomy I go back to AToTS, and I use the OST as my goodnight music. In short, this one has a special place in my heart.

2. That one bl that scarred you for life: That would have to be Until We Meet Again. No hate, because overall I like the show quite a lot. (Cute main couple, lovely second couple, I could see the structure of the script was pretty well constructed. What rubbed me the wrong way was the way UWMA handled KornIn’s suicide. Suicide is already a very heavy subject, and the reason for it in UWMA is even more heartbreaking. On top of that the explicit manner in which the suicide scene was filmed. My criticism is not intended as a conservative stance against any “taboo” or “contentious” subject. (For heaven’s sake, ≈ 90% of my tv experience consists of lgbtqa+ content!) But I do think that as a show runner you should pay a lot of attention to how (segments of) your production may come across. Especially whenever you include events in your script that either show people affected by some kind of mental illness (and yes, I think feeling so despairing that you think taking your own life is the only option left for you qualifies) or the serious problems members from the lgbtqa+ community encounter (in this case parental homophobia so severe that it drives both sons to do the unthinkable). I think media should first and foremost be entertaining. Not the cause of many triggers and ripped open wounds. You may call me a nitpicker for this, but I think UWMA could have done better in this respect. Finally, what bothered me were the “flashback” scenes in which Dean and Pharm were confronted with vivid memories of a trauma that wasn’t even their own. Truly, I get the concept of Until We Meet Again. And I can certainly appreciate that idea. But I think the same effect could have been achieved with a less intense visualisation of something so psychologically taxing as suicide.

3. Is there any bl that made you feel very single: I am actually single 😂, but if I’m honest, I don’t mind it one bit. In fact, in this stage of my life, I like being on my own. So I can’t name a show here; for the simple reason that I don’t have any negative feelings about being single. 🤷‍♀️

4. If you could change one thing from a bl, which one would it be? I would probably get rid of a couple of side-plots in Oxygen, so that Phu and Kao could get a proper development of their love story. I really liked their dynamics and I thought the idea of genuinely having to winning someone’s trust –rather than “just” winning someone’s heart– was a very original plot. Phu had serious issues with bonding with anyone, not just Kao, and the plot that we saw depicted revolved wholly around Phu trying to open up, and Kao attempting to win Phu’s trust. That was beautiful to see, but I would have loved to see them really get together at some point. Maybe this series just deserves a season 2 🤔, or they should have made PhuKao’s subplot less complicated. Anyhow, this was just a waste of potential.

5. That one bl you detest (don’t hold back): Obviously I could’ve gone for really problematic shows like TharnType. But that would be a choice of which I didn’t really expect a lot to begin with. So instead my answer would be this… Please, please promise you won’t all desert me for this. 🙀 Here we go: Make It Right. BAM, there you have it. And the reason…apart from the (ususal) cringe expressions and inappropriate sex jokes, it’s a pretty small segment of the entire show. But it’s the scene where Frame “overpowers” (sorry I don’t know how else to describe it than that) Book on the bed and tries to kiss him. Book clearly isn’t into it, and objects, but to no avail. A sort of intense house track starts playing and it’s clearly implied they take things to the next level. Curiously, “the day after,” everything seems to be quite okay. But the whole scene leading up to this is just very very problematic and borderline assault to me. What frustrates me the most about this, is that in the remainder of MIR Book and Frame are an adorable couple. It’s touching to see how patient Book is with Frame when the Frame gets depressed. But the aforementioned thing just ruins it all for me. As for the other couples, they were fine I guess but not very impressionable to me. I think the premise of this bl show was good, but the execution made it a disappointing experience for me.

6. Your top 5: 1.) Not Me; 2.) My Engineer; 3.) He’s Coming to Me; 4.) Ingredients; 5.) Dark Blue Kiss

7. That trashy bl that you lowkey like: 2 Moons 2 (I don’t whether this generally considered “trashy”, but it’s my guilty pleasure 🤭)

8. Your favourite Korean bl (it’s important we know): That has to be You Make Me Dance. ☺️ I have a huge weakness for dance combined with romance in tv series. Must be some kind of adolescent nostalgia… 🥲 Why that is, you can read here.

9. But also your top 3 for kbls: Honestly, YMMD is the only Korean BL I ever watched! 🙈 So, I am going to cheat and answer with a top 3 non-Thai BLs. 🤫 1.) Utsukushii Kare 🇯🇵; 2.) Papa & Daddy 🇹🇼; 3.) Mr. Cinderella 🇻🇳

10. Season 2? Which One? Oh, definitely My Engineer (but I’m pretty sure we’re not going to get it rip 😢)

11. A bunch of dramas will air soon. Which ones are you most excited for? Between Us (don’t know whether this is a 2nd season or a parallel story) – Moonlight Chicken & Cupid’s Last Wish (bc EarthMix 😸, but I feel more confident about the former one) – Never Let Me Go (I have a very strong feeling this one is either going to be legendary good or legendary trash 👀) – Check Out (I will be honest, this one is not necessarily about the plot 🙆‍♀️)

12. Tag them! Please only do it if you want to, no pressure! Tbh, I think the vast majority of my bl mutuals has already done this. But if you haven’t, please consider yourself tagged! 😘

@thequeenofsastiel (bc I’d like to hear more of your opinions 🙂)

@onstoryladders (so you have someone who tagged you <3)

@noxclara (so you’ll watch more bl 😌)

@ghosttotheparty (bc you’re awesome and I just wanted to tag you ^^ -> and perhaps a new interest of yours will emerge 😉)

[i-love-you-all]

Rough Draft Dump

2021.08.17

I feel like I should be putting more original content on this tumblr... As the title says, these are just bits of writing I thought I’d turn into a story/a scene I wanted to include but just didn’t work. It’s unedited and rough, but hopefully still entertaining...

Info: Breach/Sova, 1.5k words, introspection, Breach’s POV, some explicit language (like one word...)

.

There are days where he can’t stop it. The bubbling heat under his skin, the squeeze of his heart, the sick need to punch something, hit something, feel some kind of pain so that maybe – just maybe – he could go back to being happy. Or if not happy, at peace.

Normally, it was a little easier for him to control it. The jobs he used to take, breaking down doors, cracking safes, bringing in more riches than he could’ve ever dreamed of as a child, while dangerous, they helped him channel his anger into the destruction he left behind. And while those jobs weighed on his heart sometimes in the darkest of nights, right before the sun rose, they made him happy. Or at least they took away the anger and allowed him to feel anything else. He didn’t know if he’d ever felt actual happiness until he met Raze.

She was a ray of light piercing through the storm clouds that fueled his anger. She brought with her laughter, a carefree feeling, and the knowledge that he had someone on his side, no matter what. It was a change that he welcomed slowly. The people he worked with were the opposite, and he knew he had to watch himself. If he got stuck, made a mistake, or in trouble, he was on his own until Raze stopped for him. She came back and kept him moving when she could’ve just as easily left him and moved up in their world by herself.

And yet, none of that even compared to when Sova smiled at him. The ease with which Breach fell into the comfort of sleeping next to another body without worrying about being able to wake up in the morning was frighteningly fast. The soft touches with no expectation behind them lulled him into some version of security that he had never felt in his life until the nights spent side by side with the Russian, praying that death would be staved off for the next days, next missions, for both of them. If Raze was an angel, lifting him up from the crashing waves, Sova was the god, radiating enough warmth and love to push back the crawling tendrils of anger and hate.

So why – why – was he feeling this again?

He didn’t even want to find Sova. Right, because he was pissed off at his love. Just thinking of how it normally was almost made him forget the bitter feelings swirling in his lungs and begging to be screamed out.

Sova had been sent on a mission without Breach which was a normal occurrence. Brim didn’t often feel a need to send them together, but recently, even when he did, he tried not to. This was all Breach’s fault, sure, but it still stung whenever he saw Sova suiting up for yet another mission and he could only wait for his return. It stung more when Sova’s first action after returning wasn’t finding Breach in a room and subtly, or sometimes not so subtly, let him know that he missed him, and that Sova would find him the moment he could. Instead, when Breach walked past the lounge on the way from his room to go and hunt down Cypher and shove the little bug back into the body that placed it, he saw Sova there, sitting quite peacefully with Sage tucked under his arm and drawing little circles on her arm. Sova didn’t even seem uncomfortable, even though it took Breach multiple nights before he was allowed to kiss him.

A knock came at his door, and he was pretty sure he knew who it was. Still, he fought against the urge to jump out of his bed and answer it. Plus, if it was actually Sova, he had his own key to the door.

Sure enough, after a long period silence that almost lulls Breach to sleep, the door creaked open. When Breach woke up, knowing who was now quietly making their way over to his bed, taking a seat right at the edge, there was no more of that anger. Instead, just an empty feeling. It was like he could remember the buzz of the fury in him, could feel where he wasn’t right, but it was gone. Almost like Sova’s very aura could drive that anger away even when it was directed at him.

“I’m sorry for waking you.”

He felt the warm hands wrap around his, and how they slid up his arms to carefully run through his hair. Breach didn’t react though. It took more energy to keep his head on the pillow that it would’ve leaning into the touch.

“I’m not in the mood tonight, Sova,” he said, realizing just how tired he sounded. The hands removed themselves and Sova made a noise in agreement.

“Would you like to come to my room though? We don’t have to do anything. We can just sleep. I missed you.”

Did you really? Not that Breach would actually ask. But if he denied this request, it would be quite obvious that he had some problem with Sova. He silently cursed himself for the one night he poured his thoughts out to Sova who he thought was asleep. One of thoughts was about how he slept better squished into Sova’s bed than he ever did even when he had the best mattress he could afford.

“Tonight’s not a great night for me.”

The glow of the artificial eye was focused on him, and the dim light gave him a view of Sova’s frown as the other man studied him.

“Is it because of Sage at the debriefing today?”

Breach tensed, knowing that was probably enough for Sova to read him. Sova was attentive to everything, his hunts, the activities around him, and of course, Breach. And it didn’t help that even Breach knew that he was acting like some petulant child, trying to give a cold shoulder when all he wanted was attention.

The bed shifted as Sova sat back down next to him. This time, the touches felt scared, as if he thought Breach would retaliate. And even though the thought went through his head earlier in the day, it was gone now. Eventually, with the soft nudging of Sova’s arms and body, Breach found himself on his back, hands on Sova’s thighs as the other man straddled him. There was no heat to the touches though, and if anything, it was comforting. At some point, Sova leaned over him, and Breach could feel his shirt tickling his nose. Just seconds later, he heard a click and the soft light from his desk lamp illuminated the abs hovering over him.

Sova sat back on Breach and gave him a concerned look, brows slightly furrowed, and mouth set in a soft frown. “I’m sorry, Breach.” And really, the sincerity behind the words was enough to make him squirm a little with discomfort. He never did get used to Sova’s genuine nature. He loved the compliments, sure, because they fed his ego, but phrases like this were different. It felt too emotional, too deeply connected, and just too much.

Breach looked away, appreciating that Sova was still with him and dealing with this silent tantrum he was throwing. The little touches to his cheek were more than welcome.

“Give me one night alone, Sova.”

“I will,” Sova nodded, taking one good look at Breach before sliding off. “I just wanted you to look at me when I tell you that I…”

There’s no way. Neither of them has said it yet, and Sova was too romantic to want to say it while Breach was kind of pissed at him.

“I really do care about you. I would do anything for you, and I would do anything you asked me to. If you asked me to jump, I’d ask how high. If you asked me to swim, I’d as how deep. My feelings towards you cannot change so easily.”

And with that, he turned off the lamp and stood to walk out. Breach didn’t even register that he held onto his hand, stopping Sova from walking too far away.

“What is it?” the soft voice whispered in the darkness.

He really has to get in the habit of thinking before doing these things.

“I know you wouldn’t change. Not that fast, and not without reason. I just missed you too.” The words taste dry on the way out, but he really did mean it. Breach just wasn’t used to saying anything this sappy back to Sova. “Plus, you wouldn’t dare move on from me, or should I say my cock.” There it was. The mildly insulting teasing put Breach at ease, and from the soft exhale from Sova, he could assume that the other man was smiling too.

“I’ll take my leave then,” Sova murmured. “Come find me when you’re ready.”

Somewhere inside of him, he knew he had two choices: he could either go with Sova to his room now, or he could wait for a few minutes to stew in the loneliness while replaying Sova’s words over and over again before giving up and going to his room. At least if he went now, he might be able to convince Sova to go a couple rounds with him.

“Give me a second to find clothes for tomorrow.”

[imagine-loki]

Pride and Prejudice

TITLE: Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 65 AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths.     RATING: Mature   NOTES/WARNINGS: Forced Marriage, not all fun and games. My first real step back into the Loki scene in over a year.

Tags - @skulliebythesea @asimovethroughthisworld @blackcherry26-blog @we-shadowhunter2901

Loki placed his hand gently on Ella’s stomach. He could feel the infant inside moving slightly. He could not imagine how it felt to Ella to have such sensations within her body. He heard her groan slightly and shift a little to try and alleviate some of the strain in her back causing him to feel some guilt. 

Their son was growing, as was, of course, normal for an infant to do but the more time went on, the larger still he seemed to grow. If he was honest, Loki was unsure how in the realms she was going to manage to birth him if he continued to grow as he was doing. Many had said it in passing to him and as a result, it was beginning to concern him now but Ella seemed entirely nonplussed, only saying that it would be fine time and time again. As he was not the one having to perform the act of childbirth, he decided not to push the topic too greatly for fear of inciting worry or annoyance. 

When she groaned and stretched out her back again, he growled to himself. Her back was already aching and Býleistr’s actions had added issues to the situation. He thought over how she had dealt with his brother and smiled. There was none that could match Ella’s manner of dealing with any form of situation. She was able to grasp what was necessary for any issue with a swiftness that he could only be envious of. Looking at her sleeping face, the slight frown line present telling him that she would soon wake to go to the bathroom as their son was pressing on her bladder, Loki waited. 

Sure enough, groaning with irritation, Ella began to stir awake. Opening her eyes, she took a moment to focus before looking at him. “Did I wake you?” “No.” “Okay.” She stretched slightly. “I was worried.” “How do you know that it wasn’t me that woke you?” Ella shook her head. “Because I need to go to the bathroom.” She got out of the bed and went to the bathroom before returning quickly and going back under the covers and settling again. “Better. He keeps pushing down on it when I sleep on my side.” “Then don’t sleep that way.” “On my back and stomach are not options right now.” She reminded him. 

“True,” He conceded. “Is there anything you can take to ease the discomfort?” 

“Not really. If I take something, it may stunt his development, or his seidr may not appreciate what could be perceived as a poison to him. According to my mother, that was her error with me. She took Petal of Feris to assist in the aches she had. It’s a Vanir medicine, entirely safe during pregnancy, and apparently, I believed it was better to be safe than to be sorry and decided it was not worth risking, hence I removed my dependency on the being risking my well-being with said herb and my seidr fought back, resulting in my premature birth.” “True to form, you could not even do what is best for you whilst in the womb.” Loki shook his head and rolled his eyes as he spoke. 

“I am consistent, you cannot deny it.” 

“That is true.” Loki conceded. He gently rubbed her arm. “I wish you were not so uncomfortable.” “So do I, but that is the joys of carrying a child. It is not like I was uninformed of how this would fare. At least I do not have to suffer as long as many Jotnar females.”

“It is rare that they would be as big as you are growing, the few that I recall through the years.” “Well, how many have grandfather’s like our child has? Odin is big by Aesir standards, much less Jotnar.” She sighed. “But it does mean he will be formidable and foreboding in appearance. The strongest looking Jotnar on the realm.” “And what am I?” Loki asked with a raised brow. 

Ella scoffed slightly. “Your appearance is not foreboding, your mind is.” She glanced towards him and smiled, worried he would take her words as an insult. Seeing the frown in his features, she gave him a reassuring smile. “That is what truly matters.” “You just said our son having his features will be the strongest.” 

“I said he will have the appearance of the strongest, that is not the only thing that matters, a strong mind is most important, just look at Thor.” 

“He is not as stupid as many think he to be,” Loki pointed out. 

“No, he’s not, it’s true, but he is still more brawn than brain.” 

Loki could not argue her on that. “So you do not think my appearance to be strong and foreboding?” 

“You know well what I was saying. Or is it that you are seeking compliments?” “Well, it never does any harm to feel that your mate thinks well of you.” 

Ella smiled. “I think the fact I willingly partook in the acts that created your son and heir shows I am not averse to the sight of you.” Her face turned slightly mischievous, “In the dark, with only dim lighting.” 

Loki growled beside her causing her to laugh a little. “How dare you? What if I were of tender spirit and required the assurance of my mate?” “You don’t need assurance from me, you have had many females frequent your bed over the years. You know very well that you are appealing and sought after.” 

Loki was uncertain as to how to answer such a statement. He never regretted his past, yet hearing Ella reference it in such a manner made him somewhat uncomfortable. He knew that she knew a lot, if not all, and with her, it truly was possible she knew all, of his previous paramours and escapades and seemed unperturbed by them. That in itself perturbed him. Had it been the other way around, had he heard that Ella had warmed the beds of many men, he would have been angered. Even thinking of the hypothetical chance of that put a twinge of jealousy through him. She had been pure the night of their union, he was sullied and soiled and she never thought to judge him for it. 

“You’ve gone silent.” “I am thinking.” “Of?” 

“How entirely hypocritical I am.” “Am? Present tense? How so?” “I treat us differently. To different standards.” “In what manner?” Ella’s curiosity piqued. “The manner in which you speak about my past, there is no judgement.”

“Because I am not judging you.” 

“Why?” “It would be farcical for me to judge you when I did not judge my own brother for such, or do you not remember my comments on how he would mount a statue, given half the opportunity?”

“But you did no such thing, so…” “So because I did not do such, I have the right to judge you? That seems peculiar. Very much implying that I should feel as though I am in a position to see myself as above others. I am not. I am not perfect, Norns but that is clear.” Loki’s brow furrowed. “What makes you say that?” “I am not a perfect daughter, Loki. I never was. My parents love me, as parents do, but they will tell you outright, my brother caused heartache with his brutishness and I did so with my, well, they like to call it mischief, to attempt to play it down but it was a tad more sinister.”

“How so? The Allfather mentioned you sneaking into court, that is hardly nefarious.” “I snuck around going to court, yes and yes, that is not overly sinister. But so did I study from witches, druids and elves that are genuinely wanted beings on many realms and learning things that are illegal and forbidden.” Loki’s eyes widened. “What?” “My father is the Allfather, one of the most powerful beings in all of the realm, I make him seem weak. If I were to wish to do so, I have the ability to use my seidr to obliterate Gungnir. That is why my father is entrusting it to me. He is scared. Too many dangerous and powerful beings would do unspeakable things were they to get their hands on that staff and in my custody, my father knows, that even if some mad Jotnar were to attempt to use it against me, I could shatter it into a trillion pieces as soon as look at it. He does not have the strength to wield ti fully any more, nor does he have the power to protect it. Apparently, our so will use it in time to come but until then, he wishes for it to be safe, and the safest place for it is with me. My father had two weapons brought to his possession that are too dangerous for almost every being, Gungnir and Mjolnir, one is loyal to my brother, who, for all of his faults, is of good heart and the other,” she looked at the staff glowing slightly to the side of the bed. “Is guarded here by me, the one being with the strength and knowledge to destroy it if needs be. Something I should be arrested and tried for as it is dark magic long forbidden and outlawed.” She turned and looked at a fearful Loki again. “So you see, my dear mate, if we were to tally our past indiscretions, having nights of pleasure with consenting women does not even come close to my actions. You do not even register on the scale for such. Also, as you know from your listening to my conversation that day with Angrboða when she, Alma and Býleistr were to be sent to the East to deal with the conflict there, I see your past experience as something of a blessing. Norns only knows how incompetent and farcical our early matings would have been otherwise. It would have made the later, more...wished for ones far less wanted.”

“I…you truly are something else, I hope you know that.” Was all Loki could think to say regarding what she had just told him. “I...What in the realms did you learn that was illegal? How can they possibly be illegal?” “I could tell you, but I would have to kill you, and I like you, so I won’t.” She rubbed her nose against his playfully being sighing contently. “Loki…” Leaning in against him more, she noticed a significant bulge against her leg. “Does that honestly excite you that greatly?” 

“Knowing that I have sired a child with a being so deadly, I think it might.” Seeing her willing smirk, he encouraged her to move until she was sitting on top of him. “If you rather we did not?” Ella’s response was to lean in a manner that assists them further with their actions. “You and I both know I would not have allowed you to do that much if I didn’t.”

[nakasomethingkun]

hi!! i have 2 questions: firstly, i’m about to write an aftg fic and i would love to know your technique in how you characterize andrew, because you write him, and everything else in general so well! your aftg fics, which are admittedly the only one’s of yours i’ve read, are amazing!! secondly, if you’re ever looking for prompts or requests, would you consider writing the twins and their recovery in the years after tkm? i absolutely adore your writing and would love to see your take on them!!

oh, wow. i never expected to receive a question like this, so now i’m kind of stumped lmao. when i wrote my first aftg fic, i was very conscious of how i portrayed andrew; i regularly checked some scenes in the books and the extra content to get his voice and characterization right (things like how he doesn’t speak often - so that’s one trait, and when he does speak, how does he sound like? what about any character quirks? how does neil describe his body language or his appearance? what are his principles/stances? etc.). even if i didn’t get it totally right, i at least wanted to do his character service by not making him ooc. that said, though, i rarely care if i make him ooc nowadays. the thing about joining a new fandom is that you’re always nervous when/if you’re about to write a fic and post it. it’s the same feeling, every single time. as you get used to writing for that fandom though, you stop being super fussy and anxious about keeping the characters “in character”, because you realize that if you wanted everything to fit canon to a tee, you’d just stick to the original source material and not engage in fandom in the first place. 

but i digress. going back to how i characterize andrew, i normally just try to remember some of the basic stuff, like how he’s an asshole (no, really, this is a genuine tip lol). he’s blunt but he doesn’t talk much (not unless you’re neil or bee, and maybe renee, and i’m mostly referring to sober!andrew, if you’re writing/focusing on canon compliant fics). he doesn’t lie per se, not actively, but he omits the truth and deflects a lot. he’s generally apathetic to almost everything and everyone, but when he cares, he cares very deeply; no going back, no half-assing it, which also extends to his promises (e.g. beating up people who tried to hurt nicky, almost breaking allison’s neck after she hit aaron, going berserk when neil got kidnapped, etc.). he’s petty and - i cannot stress this enough - he is a disaster gay (outwardly, he passes as a functioning gay, but hello? have you seen this boy “flirt”? if it can even be called that? anyway). 

for the more physical stuff, one of the things that i always make a point of remembering that he’s a heavy smoker, which means that he’s probably really bad at cardio lmao. ppl like to write him as this exy genius with natural born goal-keeping talent (which he is!), but also... pls remember that innate talent can only carry you so far. this is just me ranting about my pet peeve/squick but i hate it when ppl write him in situations where like, he hasn’t touched a racquet in years or put in the same amount of effort or training as the others but when he’s put in court suddenly he’s this invincible and undefeatable machine? what even? i mean, i know it’s fiction but like i said, it just irks me personally.

again, i digress. for AUs, i throw a lot of things out the window. that’s not to say that i’m writing a completely new character, but just that i rummage through the aspects of his character and choose only what floats my boat for that particular verse. it’s all part of that ‘idgaf about what canon says, this is my town now’ mentality lol. sometimes, even if it feels ooc, i just roll with it, because maybe i think that that particular scene is cute or the dialogue is funny, and i think that that’s more important than trying my damnest to squeeze him into the personality box that was created in canon. taking things from the source material and shaping them into your own product is what fandom is all about, after all :D

i don’t know if all these count as techniques to writing andrew, but i’m super touched that you’ve read my fics and like them!! thank you so much <3

and to answer your second question - yes, i would definitely consider writing something like that!

[ks-caster]

It’s Like Watching Fanfiction – An (Un)Necessarily Long Critique of The 100 Seasons 6 and 7

Ah, the familiar cry of the content-starved fan, particularly as our favorite shows descend into the depths of mischaracterization, unexpected ships, hiatus, abrupt cancellation and shock-value death endings. I’ve said it myself about so many of my shows, while wanting to spend some time watching the characters but not wanting to re-hash episodes I’ve nearly memorized: “I wish I could just watch fanfiction!”

But the further into seasons 6 and 7 I’ve gotten, the more I’ve come to realize that my dream of having new and exciting possibilities for the characters come miraculously to a screen near me wouldn’t be the pleasant experience I’d imagined.

Now, depending on the type of ending you like – hopeful but with a lot of lose ends left to your imagination, or bittersweet but more definite, you could consider either seasons 1-4 or 1-5 their own complete stories.

Both seasons 4 and 5 ended in a way that suggested an unknown but likely positive future. They could have been considered conclusions for the main characters’ developmental arcs, and while season 5 went a little off the rails in terms of offscreen character development and sudden new characters, they both stayed fairly close to the original concept: survivors living in the ruins of the apocalypse. All four (or five) seasons emphasized the importance of the found family dynamic (although those dynamics shifted radically in season 5 due to the time-skip, they remained an important source of character motivation).

But seasons 6 and 7? Those feel like I’m watching fanfiction. And I don’t love it.

A story told on a whole new planet with a new environment, culture and cast of original characters was always going to feel like an AU – it sort of is, no matter how you swing it. If that was all that had changed, then I think the story would still feel cohesive.

If it weren’t for the timey whimey bullshit.

Now, fun fact: when reading fanfiction, I love time travel stories. I haven’t posted any myself but I’ve sought out and read them voraciously, for every fandom I’m in. I love the idea of characters meeting themselves or their friends at radically different ages, plot points and levels of experience and the way that changes things for both groups. (Yes, I’m also a Whovian if that wasn’t blatantly obvious). I also love a good amnesia arc. And I DID think that the Josephine/Clarke body possession thing was pretty cool.

So why did season 6 and most* of season 7 fall as flat for me as they did?

The simple fact is that some things – and characters’ emotional dynamics are one of those things – are so much easier to get across in writing than on screen. A good actor can make us feel the character’s emotions, but unless the film goes full-on Clarke’s mind space, we can’t really know what they’re thinking in individual moments. For the most part film as a genre has ways around this, but if it’s mishandled, then the emotional beats come off all wrong. (See for reference Tony Stark’s funeral where half the actors didn’t know what was going on due to Disney’s spoiler fears.)

If you’re going to include time skips in which things have happened and character dynamics have changed, you cannot handle it wrong.

Which brings us back to seasons 6 and (so far) 7 of The 100. So far to date we’ve had all of this occur either offscreen or asynchronously enough to be confusing to an audience watching the episodes in real time:

Jordan’s entire life prior to meeting Napkru in the waking world

Octavia’s character development while living on Skyring with the Diyozas

Hope’s first 22 years of life, on Skyring and (I presume) Bardo

Echo, Hope and Gabriel living on Skyring for 5 years with Orlando

Going back a little further, we also have the season 5 timeskip, which brought us Spacekru as found family, Clarke adopting tiny!heda, and Octavia building Wonkru. Now season 5 took care to show us Wonkru flashbacks and dedicate time to show Spacekru and the Griffin family loving on each other, making inside jokes etc. But it was still incredibly jarring for the audience in a lot of ways, because at the end of the day, we’ve spent four years with the character dynamics and development doing one thing, and no amount of telling us that they’ve had 6 years to do another thing while our time with them only lasted about one year in comparison is ever going to undo the importance of “show don’t tell.”

Let’s take Bellarkers’ beef with Becho for example. (Disclaimer: Since I don’t really have a strong opinion either way on the popular Bellamy ships, I hope that I’m representing what I’ve read from other people accurately.)

I understand cognitively that Bellamy and Clarke knew each other for one year (during which they were in a lot of intense situations that really didn’t leave them the emotional space to figure out how they felt about each other outside of “I don’t want to lose this person”) and Bellamy and Echo knew each other for seven years (six of which they had plenty of low-stress time to get to know each other, grow and mature side-by-side, etc.).

But that doesn’t compute on an emotional level when I as a watcher went straight from watching Bellamy and Raven tearfully eulogizing Clarke on the ring, to him turning up with a coffee mug and a plucky attitude to rescue her the second he finds out she’s alive and in trouble. I don’t think that could compute emotionally for me without having spent the last few years watching the dynamics shift and Becho happen. And that was with the writers giving me as a watcher an episode at the end of season 4 where Bellamy stops Echo from killing herself and connects with her on an emotional level, and then one at the beginning of season 5 where we got to see the spacekru dynamics, including them being together.

So we’re watching this show, many of us for the found family character relationships (god knows it’s not for all the positive happy feeling I get from watching *checks notes* ah, yes, characters having to constantly choose who to kill off in a string of increasingly huge and horrible genocides. *Side-eyes my life choices for getting into this fandom in the first place.*) Okay, we’re watching this show for the characters, and between seasons 4 and 5, many of those dynamics radically shift offscreen. Becho is the easiest and probably most talked-about example (well, and the Blake siblings, but the radical change shown in Octavia’s character between 4 and 5 makes that at least a little easier to choke down) but there are plenty of others, take your pick.

Although it makes perfect sense for a lot to change between separated groups of people in a half dozen years, it makes a lot less sense to an audience watching week to week, particularly when the show’s limited amount of screen time was too focused on plot to really delve into those changes and let us see and understand them. That was what made me think that the show was headed into jump the shark territory in season 5, but I really wanted to know what happened to my faves (Octavia, Raven and Memori, to be specific) so I kept watching.

Our fandom’s excellent writers spent the hiatus crafting mid-time-skip vignettes and missing character moments, and I spent the hiatus reading them. And I remember thinking that it would have been great if even a quarter of this content could have been put into the show to ease the audience into the dynamic shifts – but of course they’d never have the screen time to do all of that.

Especially, coming back to the main point, since written fiction allows the audience to see inside the characters’ heads, while television (usually) does not. It’s much easier to write a scene in which, say, two characters who have known each other for 7 years show that they’ve gotten into a relationship some time before the scene, and convince the audience that their relationship is good and healthy and genuine, than it would be to produce one for TV.  

And then we come to seasons 6 and 7 – the 2-part AU longfic, stuffed full of OCs, loosely connected to the “science” of the original show, and heavily reliant on memory-bending time travel as a plot device.

As season 6 airs, the audience hasn’t really had a chance to process all the radical changes from season 5, and already we have a Marper child running around furthering the plot, and Octavia walks into the Green Flash from Pirates of the Caribbean and walks back out with a personality transplant.

Meanwhile, Clarke gets an actual personality transplant, and it takes even the people closest to her a concerningly long time to notice. Now, if I’d read that in a fic, the writer might’ve taken care to remind me as a reader – particularly after a long hiatus between seasons – that with the exception of Madi none of Clarke’s friends have seen her for more than a couple of weeks in 6 years, so them not noticing for a while that she’s behaving strangely isn’t really all that strange. But on TV, I don’t get to see Gaia’s thoughts when Clarke lets Madi go to school despite the danger – Tati Gabrielle’s facial expressions can only do so much to make up the difference. Because the time spent apart was not (and really could not be, based on the structure of the show) properly acknowledged on screen, scenes like that one leave audiences floundering and pointing out bad writing.

Having watched 7x02 The Garden, I think if I went back and watched season 6 after Octavia returns from the Anomaly, her conduct – especially around Bellamy – would make a lot more sense. (That was the plan for this weekend actually – but my damn Wi-Fi conked out…) However at the time it just seemed weird and unnatural. Had it been the only example of off-screen or asynchronous character development, it would have been a lot easier to swallow. However, season 5 happened, meaning both that I was still getting used to all of the new dynamics and that I had a higher standard for Octavia’s off-screen development, because we got enough bunker flashbacks that I felt like I at least understood Blodreina.

What would have made the whole thing make a lot more sense a year ago would have been if the hair and makeup department had made an effort to make her look older, so that we could see time had passed for her. Now, Marie is 33 in real life, and so was the Octavia who figured out that up is down and got Davy Jones Locker to send her back ran out of the Anomaly, so yes, that is what an actual 33-year-old looks like, and the media has distorted my perception of age. But from an audience perspective, I saw an actress playing a 23-year-old go in, and the same actress playing the same 23-year-old come out.

Gabriel pointed out that her hair was longer, but that only accounted for a few months of time. Since she went in looking dirty, wounded and exhausted, and came out clean, healthy and energetic, she could have passed for younger before I would have thought she was older. (In fact, I want to say there was a theory circulating at that time that the Octavia who came out of the Anomaly was actually a younger version of herself, and she was missing memories because she’d never formed them. I don’t remember whose theory this was though. If you know or if it’s your content I’m referencing please feel free to let me know and I’ll edit!)

In addition, the shifting loyalties in Wonkru near the end of season 5 complicated the character situation – in season 6, the majority of Wonkru peeps (lookin’ at you, Miller and Indra) switched over to the commander’s side. While Indra didn’t really have enough screen time to express an opinion about Octavia, Miller was very clear in season 6 that she was anathema now – which although that was probably a semi-reasonable step for his character, it just felt like someone took his Bellamy-and-or-Clarke-following season 1-4 character and popped it into his season 6 costume without taking the time to address the road he took to get there.

Post-lockerAnomaly Octavia had to face and slay her demons. (Grumbles and links the interested reader to this POST from @osleyakomwonkru regarding that horseshit.) Afterwards, she shows a major shift in personality, particularly towards her brother. Because we as the audience wouldn’t see her time on skyring for about year in real time (or learn that she was ten years older and therefore a lot more mature, the chemical changes of which would account for at least some of the difference even if she couldn’t remember anything else) we had no choice but to associate her change with the slaying of Blodreina, which seemed like a ham-fisted way of forcing her a quick and slick redemption arc and prepping The Blake Siblings to go back to being ride-or-die for each other in season 7.

Raven’s season 6 personality was also radically different from her 1-5 development – while I understand her having a remaining beef with Clarke and being emotional due to Shaw’s death (RIP!) the fact that the writing in season 6 reduced her to the nagging shrew trope until they needed her to do a coding deus ex machina just added to the feeling that I was watching someone take the characters around, change them to their own preferences (even if that preference was to push some into the background and make them tools for the B-plot) and toss them into an AU story. Which I could have enjoyed more if I had been reading it and therefore seeing inside the characters’ heads – and if I hadn’t paid for the privilege with ad revenue instead of voluntary clicks of the kudos/like/reblog/comment buttons.

Another issue with time skip relationship is exposition for the lesser known characters’ backstories. Both seasons 6 and 7 have so far had dramatic character mother death reveals that were conveniently not told to their most important people specifically because the appropriate time to tell those stories would have been during the offscreen time skips. I will (grudgingly) accept Echo, an adult making a conscious (and familiar) decision to change up her personality to fit into and survive within her environment, choosing not to tell a traumatic story that reminds her of her past. (She’s my next meta – stay tuned!)

I will not in a million years, however, believe that the Clarke Griffin who I watched for four seasons be set up as the blatantly obvious “compassionate mom-friend protagonist” adopted a traumatized 6-year-old, moved into said child’s village, burned or buried the bodies of everyone who lived there, and never ever brought up the child’s dead birth parents.

No way. The ONLY reason that could have possibly been scripted in that way was because that conversation needed to be there for plot reasons and the appropriate time for it to have been had was during the 6 years they spent off screen. Similarly, while (again) I’ll buy that Echo chose not to talk about her mom’s death with Bellamy before he decided to be a dick about it, I fully believe that the timing of that conversation was only there because if it had occurred on the ring where it would have been more appropriate, the audience would have missed it.

Now, picture this: if the scene with Madi had been in a written fanfic, Clarke could have said “you didn’t lose me,” Madi could have said “I didn’t mean you,” and Clarke could have remembered Madi telling her the story of her birth mom dying in her arms. Then Clarke could have mentally made the decision that she didn’t want Madi to relive that in an attempt to empathize with her, and she makes an effort to convince her that she’s fine. In just 2 or 3 paragraphs a written story could have effectively conveyed both the exposition and the emotional beats of the scene, concluding with Clarke making a (maybe misguided but still sweet) attempt to be a good mom by not dredging that up for Madi (or something – I’m not defending the crappy and inconsistent writing of Clarke’s parenting we’ve on screen so far).

Moving right along, we had a lovely flashback montage of Hope and Dev, which was sufficient to make me (and several of the tumblrs I follow) care about Dev at least enough to be saddened by his death. However, what we didn’t get was a damn crumb of flashback showing Orlando and Anomalykru developing any kind of familial relationship between him agreeing to train them, and whatever dynamic we were supposed to pick up on at the end of that episode. I got a little protective big sister vibe from Echo and Hope but that’s it. They apparently expended their allotment of emotion-inducing flashbacks on the dead guy, and failed entirely to make me give a shit about (as it turned out) the next dead guy.

Now we’re going into an episode with Octavia on (presumably) Bardo in the promo, so I’m guessing we get to see her skyring-self link up with her return-to-Gabriel-with-clean-hair self. As least with Octavia’s jumping storyline it seems like the writers have consistently made some kind of effort to fill in the blanks.

But we’re also looking at the rest of the season where Echo, Gabriel, Hope, oh hi Jordan I forgot about you again, Diyoza, Octavia, and probably Bellamy and Hoth!Kru (AKA team let’s follow Raven onto a strange planet without putting on suits or having an exit strategy, yay!) have all experienced asynchronous development over periods of multiple years. Given the show’s track record from seasons 5 and 6, I strongly suspect that this won’t be handled any better, meaning that the final season of this show is going to try not only to resolve all the plot points, but to toss in a bunch MORE offscreen character development and hope we catch on.

Beyond character development jumps, we also have Raven and Murphy losing their seasons 1-5 development in season 6 only to have to re-learn and re-change back to who they already were in seasons 4 and 5. Murphy learned to value his spacekru family and stop putting himself first 100% of the time, and yet his arc in season 6 happened. Raven has always been involved in the big life-or-death decisions, and had her being-the-bad-guy moment in season 4 with the rationing, but as we saw in 7x03 the writers really wanted to… redo all of that for her? The girl blew up a bridge full of guys and flash-fried a 300-person army when she was 18; blood on her hands may not be fun but what’s with seasons 6 and 7 acting like it’s something new?

While I’m aware that Jason said his seasons are individual movies (don’t admit that you’re bad at continuity buddy ‘cause that’s what it sounds like) seasons 1-5 and 6&7 are clearly telling separate stories (or 1-4, 5, 6-7 if you prefer). The trouble with 6&7 is that unlike seasons 1-4 (and sort-of 5) we no longer know the characters. Every time someone sits still too long, character-development wise, plot comes along and hits the reset button, tosses them into a wormhole for a couple of years and they come back with the same face but no continuity. It was difficult enough to deal with in season 5 – between 6 and 7 I just can’t keep up. (Even writing this meta, I have to keep going back because I remembered another character who fell into this trap.)

Now if a fanfic writer had done the exact same thing – same plot, same time skips, same organization – it would have played out completely different to the readers. We could have gotten to see inside the character’s minds when they arrived back on screen, seeing things with new, older eyes. We could have had minimally invasive flashbacks to show important exposition (like the disaster that was the conversation about Madi’s mom) and verbal descriptions to point out differences like Octavia’s ten-years-older body. Additionally, the plots of seasons 6 and 7 are so different yet full of overdone callbacks to the earlier seasons – if a fan was writing their own AU story but still wanted some of the trappings of the original plot I’d get it, but on a TV show written by the same people it just feels like they ran out of ideas.

Watching seasons 6 and 7 is exactly like watching fanfiction would be – but without the written and fan-made advantages of fanfiction, they fall flat.

*I do like season 7 better than season 6 because the content of the individual episodes containing Murphy/Emori/Raven and Octavia/Diyoza/bbyHope was still enjoyable content, so 2 out of 4 I have liked so far, despite this very very long rant I’ve just written explaining why as a whole I rather hate the season overall.

[juliabohemian]

Shameless Self Promotion

I am getting ready to wrap up a novel length WIP that I started writing in 2017 and started posting in August of 2018. I have an entire second story plotted out that is supposed to follow this one. Which will probably be from Jane’s POV.

This is something I have poured a lot of time and effort into. But admittedly, I am not great at promoting myself. And I am terrible at explaining what the story is about. The description on AO3 doesn’t really explain much.

Instead I am going to post a very short passage from each chapter in the hope of attracting some new readers.

TITLE: In Loco Parentis TIMELINE: Post-Ragnarok. AU after that point. Some similarities to Infinity War, but with different outcomes. Loki survives instead of Thor. CHARACTERS: Loki, Erik Selvig, Steve Rogers, Jane Foster with mentions of Thor, Odin, Frigga, Heimdall, Bruce Banner/Hulk and Stephen Strange. LENGTH: Current length is 105,160 word. 24/26 chapters have been posted. GENRE: Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Intermittent humor, Lots of feels, explorations of father/son dynamic. Second person narrative; Loki’s POV. WARNING: References to violence, torture, terminal illness, and character death.

CHAPTER 1:

Earth keeps careful track of its inhabitants these days. They pay closer attention to some than others, of course. The United States government knows precisely where you are right now, or so they claim. It's distinctly possible that they even know exactly what you're doing. Not that you have anything to hide for once. But you will never get used to to the fact that very little of your life is genuinely private.

CHAPTER 2: 

It's evident that the other man is annoyed with you. His words suggest as much. Yet the remark is delivered with unusual tenderness. Unfortunately, your tolerance for pity is somewhat limited. And even if you were in pain, which you are most definitely not, it would be none of his concern.

CHAPTER 3:

You might be stranded on Earth, your home and your family gone forever. But somehow, for some reason, despite all statistical improbability, you're still alive. You're still moving, still breathing. Surely there must be a reason. Because everything has a reason.

CHAPTER 4:

You hate the fact that, for now at least, you appear to be dependent on someone else's kindness. It's not a position you're altogether comfortable with. Because kindness is a limited resource. You know it's only a matter of time before he tires of you. You don't understand why he's bothering to pretend otherwise. You don't know what motivation he could possibly have to tolerate you one second longer than necessary.

CHAPTER 5:

You were convinced that, at any minute, someone would kick down your door and carry you away in chains. Surely after being reminded of the extent of your abilities, Erik would no longer want you in his home. But when you were quiet again, all you heard was Erik knocking. You could not answer. You knew of no words that could hope to mend what you had done.

CHAPTER 6:

While your host imposed no time limit on the arrangement, you never planned to stay long. But days turned into weeks, and months became years. And you kept running out of reasons to leave. Your attempts to test Erik's resolve were so gently diffused, that you ultimately gave up trying to alienate him.

CHAPTER 7:

Your denial served no purpose. Unlike so many lies you had told during your lifetime, this one was innocuous enough. You had learned fairly quickly that there was no point in contesting Erik's delusions. You knew not his reasons. But you had accepted that some part of him needed to believe that you were his son.

CHAPTER 8:

You hate just how relieved you are to have someone to talk to, even if that person is Steve Rogers. And you hate that your instinct is to alienate him. You just can't help yourself.

CHAPTER 9:

Your stomach churns with a fierce assortment of unwelcome emotions. You cannot help wondering whether this is just some random event, or if Erik is making some sort of attempt to say goodbye.

CHAPTER 10:

You stare at the message on the screen for nearly a minute, reading the words over and over again. You try to find a way to be insulted by Steve's offer. But you cannot think of one. And yet, you are still annoyed. Because it is so like Steve to give you the benefit of the doubt by suggesting that you might have dialed in error.

CHAPTER 11:

You have never openly declared Erik to be your father before. You have only ever conceded when others have done so. Not only is it a lie, it feels like something you have no right to say.

CHAPTER 12:

You want her to leave. Yet, for some reason, she seems to believe that you genuinely require her assistance. You think perhaps you need only convince her that you are not completely helpless. And thus, her intervention is not required. Then, surely she will be on her way.

CHAPTER 13:

You frown immediately at your use of the phrase big deal, which you cannot remember ever using before now. You know not the origin of the phrase. It's something that Erik would say. In your mind, you can picture his face...that reassuring smile he would give you whenever you were convinced that you somehow managed to ruin absolutely everything, yet again. Hey...it's not a big deal. 

CHAPTER 14:

You chuckle, nervously. You are practically pinned up against the counter, now. You could effortlessly shove her to the floor and leave the room. As annoying as she is, you have no desire to do her harm. After all, it's not her fault that you're a complete lunatic.

CHAPTER 15:

Throughout your life you have been many things. But you have never been slovenly or lazy, and certainly never uncleanly. And yet, you are confident that you would have been content to starve and wallow in your own filth, had Jane not come along and intervened.

CHAPTER 16:

You know that you should probably take a few minutes to compose yourself before confronting Jane. But, naturally, you don't. As annoyed as you are, there's a small part of you that is pleased to have reason to be angry. The fury that you were longing for earlier is finally here. Now you need only embrace it and see where it takes you.

CHAPTER 17:

Deep down, you know that you don't actually want to escape. And not just because you have nowhere in particular to go. You have a life here, albeit a limited one. You have a place that you think of as home, a place that you want to return to. Perhaps not every bridge you cross needs to be left burning in your wake.

CHAPTER 18:

What Jane doesn't know is that, somewhere deep in your most private thoughts, you envisioned yourself making Erik better. You fantasized about it, even. For by healing him, you would be offering him something that might actually be worthy of praise.  

CHAPTER 19:

The conversation is becoming far more serious than you would like. You are now relieved that you are intoxicated. He appears to be seeking some sort of validation. Though you seriously doubt he wants or needs yours.

CHAPTER 20:

The irony of your situation is not lost on you. As you are currently playing nursemaid to an ailing Midgardian...a member of a species you were raised to view as grossly inferior. And you don't regret it. Not at all. But you wonder what Thor might think, if he could see you now. Whether he would this consider your actions to be admirable, or he would regard you as a fool.

CHAPTER 21:

The unmistakable hint of fear in Erik's eyes would likely go undetected by the casual observer. It is almost as though some part of him is genuinely worried about your reaction. You recall, all too clearly, that night you found him collapsed on the floor beside his bed, his tears of shame, how he couldn't even look at you. Whatever this is, however inconvenient, it is definitely outside of his control. Thus, do your best to conceal your frustration.

CHAPTER 22:

Various scenes unfold before you. Through the kitchen window, Erik watches you working in the garage. He admires your focus, your meticulous attention to detail. Erik looks in on you, after hearing you cry out in your sleep. Erik returns home, after a long day working at the university, and the two of you share a meal together. Such events would be considered, by most, entirely benign. Yet, you find it unbearable to look upon yourself this way, painful even.

CHAPTER 23:

You are exhausted and can no longer continue. The soil beneath your feet is soft and moist. When you drop to the ground, you rest on your knees and your hands end up planted deeply in the wet earth.

CHAPTER 24:

You wake periodically, throughout the day. Random people enter your room, constantly. Thankfully, they never stay for long. Whenever you open your eyes, you find yourself checking to make sure that Erik is still there. And whenever he catches you looking at him, he touches you, as if to further reassure you of his presence.

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: Spider-Man Far From Home

Disclaimer: Just like Avengers: Endgame, I cannot stress enough how spoilerific this movie is. I feel just reading a general overview as I am about to give here may taint your viewership if you don’t want to know anything going in. I will strive to be as spoiler-free as possible and just give enough of a tease to push non-committed cinema goers to go and see it but if you do not want to know anything about this movie going in, do not read on until you do.

General Reaction:

This is probably my favourite live-action Spider-Man movie to date. Into the Spider-Verse is still in my opinion the best Spider-Man movie overall, but this is definitely my favourite live-action one. Just as there is an in-movie debate about if Spider-Man should become the new Iron Man, I feel that debate may also be going on amongst both MCU fans and Marvel Studios in-house in terms of making both the character and movie franchise the MCU’s new focal point since Iron Man’s departure in Avengers: Endgame and the original six seemingly bowing out as the core team.

I don’t think I have ever gasped or wanted to cheer so much in an MCU movie, even in both Infinity War and Endgame where everyone was doing it, myself included, this had them beat for the legitimate surprises that the ad campaign managed to keep secret, possibly to the movie’s detriment but I’ll get into that in my spoiler review.

Even 11 years since the MCU started to build up the world of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, just to see essentially a European tour with some new locations and already visited places, including one or two that I’ve visited personally, was really great to see.

There was so much that managed to one-up itself, not only from Spider-Man: Homecoming but also from what is now the Infinity Saga of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and in a way set the tone for the next phase and new era, that it was a wonder to behold.

The action sequences and visuals are some of the best I have seen in any movie. It made me want to see it in 3D and I actually think next time I might pay to see it in 3D they were that good.

As I said, with the ad campaign keeping so much of the movie secret, I don’t know how inticed fans will be to see the movie because it just looks like your run-of-the-mill Spidey flick but it is so much more than that.

I cannot say how good this movie was, the locations, the action, the danger, the emotion, the humour, everything came together so perfectly in this movie and you feel not only what it’s like to be in a superhero movie with a high school twist but also with that added peril of the “blip” aftermath.

You feel the ramifications of Avengers: Endgame throughout this movie, both in terms of Tony’s death and also people being wiped from reality and returning. They explain it quite well, because I know that the end of Endgame many fans were wondering why exactly Peter and Ned were back at school as if back to normal, they explained that rather well here.

Also, there are callbacks to earlier movies in the MCU so intrecally woven into the story and so shocking that it blew my freakin’ mind to think that Feige could have actually somehow planned this the whole time.

I saw this movie mere hours ago and so possibly cannot quite compartmentalise everything I saw into what is spoiler and what is not, so I will probably splurge out everything I haven’t covered here in the spoiler-review. But seriously I cannot stress how great this movie was.

Cast:

As I said in my opening, I am starting to see Tom Holland be able to stand front and centre as the main hero of the MCU, I know it’s supposed to be Brie Larson as Captain Marvel, but this movie even snubs her and we will get to that when we talk about Nick Fury. But Holland is just so likeable as Peter Parker and so genuine and comics-accurate as Spider-Man that I can never see another live-action actor portraying this character. I loved Andrew Garfield but Tom Holland is my Spider-Man as Robert Downey Jr. is the definitive Iron Man.

Zendaya continues to prove why she is such an up and comer as one of Hollywood’s best young actresses. Genuinely I see her on the same level as Letitia Wright and Naomi Scott, while she’s maybe not as funny as Letita Wright she has a realistic yet dark humour with MJ that is really relatable.

Jake Gyllenhaal is as good as Mysterio as I hoped he was. What he did with the character here is of a similar but admittedly better quality to what Michael Keaton did with The Vulture and, Rhys Ifans did with The Lizard in The Amazing Spider-Man and even what Thomas Haden Church did with Sandman in Spider-Man 3, they all made their respective characters interesting even though before seeing these cinematic versions I either didn’t know of them or didn’t care about them.

Peter’s school group are okay, they are necessary to the movie as Peter can’t go on a field trip himself, but they just kind of fade into the background. Ned continues to be an annoyance for me, Flash is just your typical noughties bully and Betty...we’ll get to Betty.

The most surprising breakout for me in this movie was Remy Hii as Brad Davis, I remember seeing this guy on Neighbours a few years back. He’s definitely upped his game a bit since then.

As for Samuel L. Jackson, Cobie Smulders, Jon Favreau and Marisa Tomei, they have some great scenes and they are as you expect them to be. It definitely helped to not focus too much on the younger actors and have some relief with the more mature content at times.

Also, without going into spoilers, there is something revealed in the end-credits scenes that made me exceedingly happy. I’d say these are the best end-credits scenes, two of them, since Doctor Strange in terms of setting up the future of the MCU.

Recommendation:

This is as close to a perfect Endgame aftermath movie as I could have imagined, it doesn’t try and ram in what everyone is doing post-Endgame but focuses on a bit of light relief mixed in with some rather serious and consequential actions along the way.

Even if you are on the fence about seeing the movie, I know I’ve said this a lot recently but, this is one of those hot topic talked about movies that you need to see regardless of if you think the trailers are only meh.

See it for yourself and take in the wonder because I guarantee you will not leave the movie with the same thoughts you had going in.

So that’s my non-spoiler review for Spider-Man: Far From Home, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Marvel Movie Reviews as well as other Movie Reviews and posts.

[wiredandrewired]

Was trying to actually work on something but my brain is stuck on loop.  So instead I’m gonna make a post of the Voltron stuff sitting unposted in my writing WIP folder to help me organize my thoughts.

I guess since I’m posting this, if you have anything you wanna say/ask about any of these feel free.  I respond well to outside interest.

1. Project ReVolt is without a doubt the project I’ve posted about the most here.  And talked about in random tags.  And tangents.  Originally it was just the name the project had in my internal brain filing cabinet but it’s kind of spread and stuck to where my wife and I just refer to it as that when we talk about it.

ReVolt is basically going to be a VLD series rewrite more along the lines of how my wife and I would have done it or at least liked to see it done.  In some places it will probably stick pretty damn close to the events of the series canon, but in others go completely off the deep end.  We’re each going to be doing one, so a lot of the headcanon and worldbuilding and such that we’ve worked out together in various other stories and RPs will be consistent between the two stories, but it will also give us a place to veer out and do things without the others’ input (as we’re not gonna let each other see our fics until they post, tee hee).  I’ve done a SHITPOT of rules and infrastructure work using actual alchemy tracts to try and make sense of the series’ largely Powers As The Plot Demands system,  and am pretty convinced I’m going to A)fall hard into my very common Esoterica Ranting Mode pitfall and B)enrage literally everyone who reads it with my character and plot choices.  Most conservative estimate says this will be six ‘books’ long as again, we’re doing literally the entire series.  Current status: at the ‘ridiculously large amount of notes and setting up actual arcs and outlines’ stage, and waiting for the wife to finish ‘Happier HOPEless’.

2. There Are No Monsters Here is a fic I really want to do but cannot seem to get off the ground, set to take place entirely in the ‘last universe’ from season 8--the one native-Honerva died in and crazed-death-god-Honerva picked out as her ideal and tried to wedge herself into.  I guess the basic idea was that, like the ‘main’ universe, it got rebuilt pretty much as it was prior to Nightmare Mom Ruining Everything, and I have it with no one fully remembering the events of season 8 that took place there, but characters really closely tied to those events having some itching feeling that something happened, and all the Altean alchemists agreeing that some kind of massive quantum Event certainly occurred even if they don’t know what.  

Mostly the story exists as  a place for me to have a canon-compliant AU that still lets me explore stuff like Altean history, the racial and cultural tensions of the Coalition, dink around with Oldadins that DON’T die in one fell swoop, a living Daibazaal and Altea, Lotor growing up with a decent-but-not-without-strains relationship with his dad, teen Allura and tiny Lotor being absolute shits to each other while also coming to terms as they grow up with who and what they MUST be both on a political and quantum scale, and generally prove that even a perfect universe isn’t, all in one place.  The title is entirely facetious, and anyone who’s read any of my alien culture headcanons for this series knows that.  Lol.  Current status: lots of bits and pieces, but no good beginning or connective tissue.   I have a lot of notes, some arc outlines, and a few scattered scenes and bits of dialogue from later in the story, but my god, I CANNOT get it off the ground.

3. Someone Must Get Hurt (But It Won’t Be Me) is supposed to be a pretty wholly Honerva-centric fic that starts...sometime in her youth?...and carries forward to an as-yet-undetermined point.  Probably her death.  I mean the first one.  I’m not sure.  Another chance to dig my fingers into Altean culture and Alchemy, this time leading up to All The Bad Shit That Happened, with the added bonus of being done from a focal point of a character I have a lot of really strong feelings about both positive and negative that’s resulted in me somehow being EVEN MORE wrapped up in her than I was before I added abject knee-jerk trauma hatred to the mix.  In no way meant to make Honerva more sympathetic, I think I just want to write her even more like my mother so I’ll feel EVEN BETTER about killing her?  Idk man my feelings about her are so complicated.  Also an excuse to write a shitpot of her and Zarkon because listen, I’m really glad they’re married because I ship them so fuckin hard.   Current Status: SO many notes.  SO much infrastructure.  Like three pages of an opening I’m almost definitely throwing away because I can’t decide where, when, or how to open but feel like this isn’t it.  One short but very telling scene of Honey and Zarkon from late in the story.  I’m obsessed with it but I can’t get anywhere. 

4. Currently Untitled Demon Hunter AU started because my wife talks to me about Happier HOPEless a LOT and I just got an itch in my bones to work on one myself.  In spite of the entire Demon Hunter AU thing getting started by a prompt on a Shance blog, neither Shiro nor Lance are set to appear for at least a chapter?  And I am not confident in my ability to not veer off into utter non-shipping anyway because man, am I bad at it.  Or like...just an entirely different ship for either or both of them.  Current Status: A lot of vague notes, a POWERFUL urge to structure the chapters and overall arc after Ripley’s Gates even though that limits my chapter count and means I will DEFINITELY have 20k+ word chapters, and about seven pages of the first chapter so I guess I’m committed now?

5. Currently Untitled Post Series Fic basically exists for me to vent my frustrations about two main things: The Universe is Fucking Huge And There Are Dangers Other Than Galra, and The Galra Empire Was Huge and Is Not Going To All Fall In Line Behind Voltron Coalition and Especially Behind Keith Who Just Arbitrarily Fucking Decided To Tell Them They Couldn't Pick A New Leader According To Their Own Traditions And Need To Do What They’re Told Now What The Fuck.  Also there was a lot of stuff in the series that got left hanging, and while ReVolt is an IN-series fix-it fic, I wanted something that patched up loose ends in a way that was satisfactory to me but also kind of canon-compliant.  Current Status: A lot of notes and screaming.  No one has seen my progress on this and they might never.

6. Dog Runs And Death Dreams is a warmup file turned deeply self-indulgent series of scenes in which I choose to assume that Shiro’s rare neuromuscular disorder was left so ambiguous so I could plug the symptoms of mine into it.  It’s genuinely not any deeper than that.  The whole thing is set pre-Kerberos, and includes copious Shiro x Adam content because of it, but also not the kind that makes me feel good about writing because that means it includes the ‘slow fizzle’ that leads up to their breakup before the mission.  Ugh.  Working on it does make me feel better when I've been having symptoms, though, and I’ve been letting myself write it, unchastised, in a really loose rambly way that I usually deride myself for.  It’s just cathartic.  Current Status: no notes, no plan, just strain-writing between seizures, but somehow it feels like it has some kind of structure and just keeps growing?  Possibly too close to the bone for me to ever post.

7. Birth and Rebirth was born out of two things: the fact that Zarkon is shown to have two ENTIRELY DIFFERENT reactions to first being presented with his baby son in different flashbacks and different seasons, and the fact that in spite of the flashbacks we get at the end of the series, earlier on, the impression I got of Lotor and Zarkon’s relationship wasn’t of a young man who had never had affection from his father, but who had instead lost it.  Well, three things: I have a lot of underlying issues at work, at play, and at large when it comes to the Galra Imperial Family.  Also, anyone notice the monitor blips in the first baby Lotor flashbacks indicate a heart murmur?  Anyway, it was supposed to be a thoroughly self-indulgent and thoroughly self-hurtful examination of Lotor’s early life and the death by degrees of what was left of his father in the husk Rift Adventures left behind, but I got stuck on it a little way in.   Current Progress: ten pages, a lot of notes, and some wistfulness.  I keep hoping I’ll get inspired to pick it back up again.  Contemplating rewriting some of the beginning, maybe it’ll help?

Bonus entry that is not actually in any form of progress soever:

50/50 Voltron Trashfire Edition is spawned from the ‘50/50′ challenge on an old TF board I used to haunt.  It’s a fifty-prompt smut challenge using the list of ‘50 reasons to have sex’ from some tv show, and the idea is to write a different ship for every prompt (hence the name).  My wife is blazing through it and has several (like twelve?) up on her AO3, but I’ll be utterly blunt: I haven’t written fifty porn fics in my LIFE.  Over ALL my fandoms.  Current Status: Literally all I have done is assign a ship to each prompt, and I might actually have some prompts with just question marks beside them still.  I have one aborted start to one entry.  That’s it.  It’s not happening.  But the empty file is technically in the folder, SO.

[douxreviews]

Pride and Prejudice - ‘Episode 4′ Review

“Perhaps the beauty of the house renders its owner a little less repulsive, Lizzy.” “Yes, perhaps. Perhaps a very little.”

In which Darcy writes a letter, Lydia leaves for Brighton, Elizabeth takes a trip, and Darcy goes for a swim. Contains spoilers.

Episode 4 is my absolute favorite episode of the series and it’s not because of the infamous lake scene. Well, it’s not just because of the lake scene.

We begin with Darcy’s letter. This miniseries is the only version of Pride and Prejudice that I’m aware of to show the contents of the letter being acted out and not just read in voice over. I think it adds a lot. We get to see Wickham and Georgiana together which enforces the creepiness of his pursuit of her. He’s at least ten years older than her and it’s just gross that he would attempt to seduce a child for her money. We also see shots of Wickham and Darcy at Cambridge. I really like this little inclusion. Wickham’s actions towards the Darcys might have been explained by need or greed, but the scene at Cambridge helps make it clear that Wickham is just not a good guy and there’s really no excuse for him.

We also flashback to Jane and Bingley. Charlotte’s words of warning to Lizzy regarding Jane’s reserve prove themselves true. Darcy believed Jane was not in love because she did not seem to be in love. I’ve always found this a weak justification. Darcy disdains the other members of Lizzy’s family because they are too open and too loud with their opinions. Now it turns out he ruined Jane’s happiness because she was too closed off and too quiet about her opinions. Pick a side, Darcy. In addition, Darcy explains away his coldness by saying that he is (for lack of a better word) shy around strangers. Isn’t Jane just exhibiting similar shyness with Bingley?

Although Lizzy has clearly been crushing on Darcy for awhile (whether she admits it to herself or not), this episode is the one where she really starts to fall for him. It’s ironic, considering we begin the episode with her disliking Darcy as much as possible. The entire episode is about Lizzy softening to the idea of Darcy. His letter gets the ball rolling. He does little to acquit himself of wrongdoing in Jane’s case, but at least manages to explain away Wickham’s intense hatred. I like to think he partly wrote the letter to Elizabeth to warn her away from Wickham. It’s more than just pride that inspires him to set her straight, that’s for sure.

Furthering Darcy’s cause for him is his house mansion estate palace whatever you’d call that place and his effusive housekeeper. Yes, Pemberley does make Lizzy like Darcy a bit more, but I refuse to believe it’s in a mercenary way. It’s the little things that do it. For instance, Darcy still displays a miniature of Wickham, a man he absolutely detests, in what was his father’s favorite room out of respect. The furnishings of Pemberley also speak well for Darcy. While everything is beautiful and (one imagines) expensive, his taste seems to lack the gaudiness of his aunt’s. Perhaps he is not so obsessed with rank and fortune as Elizabeth thought.

Then there’s the housekeeper, Mrs. Reynolds. She unknowingly does her master a great service by talking him up incessantly to a complete stranger. Elizabeth gets insight into Darcy’s character that has heretofore been unavailable to her. He dotes on his little sister, he’s been good-tempered since childhood, and he’s an excellent landlord and a generous master. Glowing praise, indeed.

Following this barrage on Lizzy’s dislike of Darcy comes the man himself. My favorite scene in the series (aside from the aforementioned lake scene) is when a sopping wet Darcy is surprised by the woman who very recently rejected his proposal of marriage and his awkward politeness to her. He is so shocked, he does not have the time to assemble his familiar shield of haughtiness and pride. It is the most genuine Darcy that Elizabeth (or the audience) has yet to see. He remembers his manners, asking her where she was staying and how her family is (twice) but is thoroughly unable to remember that her “condition in life is so decidedly below [his] own.” As a result, Elizabeth’s opinion of Darcy, already softened, is raised considerably.

Lizzy is clearly thrown by Darcy’s good manners at Pemberley and tries to goad him into being his ‘usual’ proud and disdainful self by introducing her aunt and uncle to him as her relatives from Cheapside. She is disappointed however, as Darcy behaves perfectly. Not a flicker of surprise or arrogance crosses his face upon learning the Gardiners’ situation and he expresses interest in Mr. Gardiner and invites him to fish in his trout stream. He is still not as affable or open as, for instance, Mr. Bingley (who could be?) but Darcy at home is a completely different animal than Darcy abroad.

The episode ends with the tenderest moment we’ve had between our romantic leads, in which he asks her to meet his sister. This is quite the compliment. Girls of Georgiana’s rank and age were often kept sheltered from all but the closest family acquaintances. Georgiana’s case is likely more exaggerated because of her recent attempted elopement.

In addition to Elizabeth and Darcy, this episode begins to feature Lydia more than previous episodes, with good reason. She is soon to become a rather important character. Whiny, petty, spoiled, and silly, it is a wonder someone as respectable sounding as Mrs. Forster would want her to accompany her to Brighton. Then of course, we see Mrs. Forster (who looks about 15). She seems just as silly as her friend. This is the woman the Bennets entrust the welfare of their daughter to.

Mr. Bennet’s character is clearly communicated in his allowing Lydia to go to Brighton. His conversation with Lizzy is very telling. He knows that Lydia will make a fool of herself and of the family, but cannot be bothered to prevent it. He wants peace in his home, whatever the price and he consoles his favorite daughter by telling her that her and Jane’s good manners in general counteract the silliness of her sisters. While Mr. Bennet’s quick wit and sarcastic quips make him a favorite character, it cannot be denied that he is a neglectful parent. He is lazy and selfish and would much rather sit in his library than go to any trouble for the benefit of his family.

Historical Context:

Darcy hand delivers his letter to Elizabeth because correspondence between two unmarried persons was considered highly improper. In Sense and Sensibility, several people assume that two characters are engaged simply because they openly write to each other.

Georgiana Darcy’s dowry of £30,000 was a huge sum of money and one of the largest dowries in Austen.

Lady Catherine seems surprised that Mr. Gardiner “keeps a manservant.” Male servants were not only paid more, the government had levied a tax on the employment of a male servant. Therefore being able to afford a male servant was a sign of affluence.

As the Bennet ladies discuss the possibility of going to Brighton, they seem very desirous to go ‘sea-bathing.’ Swimming in the ocean was a recent fashion and believed to be extremely beneficial to one’s health.

Bits & Pieces:

Of all of Austen’s novels, Pride and Prejudice is the one that features the most travel. Lizzy goes to Kent, Jane goes to London, Lydia goes to Brighton, Lizzy goes to Derbyshire, Lydia goes to London. This is because Austen had originally intended the novel to be in an epistolary format. I’m very, very glad she went a different direction. I find epistolary novels (particularly from this time period) incredibly tiresome. And, yes, that was directed at you, Samuel Richardson.

The actress who plays Mrs. Gardiner is the real life mother of the actress who plays Georgiana Darcy.

Favorite Moments:

Maria repacking her trunks according to Lady Catherine’s instructions.

Mr. Collins’s feeble attempts to make Lizzy regret not marrying him.

Lydia meeting Lizzy and Maria on their way home. She “treats” them all to a nice meal via their own money as she’s spent all her own on a hat she didn’t really like. How very Lydia.

The fencing scene, particularly the line “I shall conquer this! I shall!”

Lizzy’s first glimpse of Pemberley.

The lake scene, obviously.

Awkward, wet Darcy (Colin Firth has never been more adorable).

Pretty much everything that happens in Derbyshire, now that I think about it.

sunbunny

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 07/11/2020 (Ariana Grande, Bring Me the Horizon)

You know, it’s odd how that despite two pretty massive albums dropping, both having an impact on the chart, we actually have less debuts than the scattered mess of singles from last week, thanks to silly UK Singles Chart rules. Regardless, this week’s #1 is still “positions” by Ariana Grande and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

The biggest drop off the chart this week is undoubtedly the #1 hit “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi, exiting the UK Top 75 after a run lasting 50 weeks. Nothing really compares to the weight of that drop-out but I guess we do have “GREECE” by DJ Khaled featuring Drake, “Heather” by Conan Grey. “Bando Diaries” by Dutchavelli, “Heart of Glass” by Miley Cyrus, “forget me too” by Machine Gun Kelly featuring Halsey and “Hold” by Chunkz and Young Filly, only lasting a measly two weeks but still peaking high. There is actually a theme to our returning entries as all of these are spooky scary Halloween-themed tracks. The classic “Thriller” by the ever-controversial King of Pop Michael Jackson is back at #57, “Ghostbusters” by Ray Parker, Jr. Is back at #54 – this is my personal favourite of the bunch, mostly thanks to Neil Cicierega – and even “Monster Mash” by Bobby Boris Pickett is back at #50. Oh, and “5AM” by M Huncho and Nafe Smallz is back at #66 but that’s just scarily bad. The biggest fall this week was for “Cool with Me” by Dutchavelli and M1llionz down to #64 whilst the biggest gain was unfortunately for “Whoopty” by CJ at #48. Honestly, what’s the appeal here? Sigh, at least we have some really interesting hijinks this week, pretty fitting for a week that saw the messiest US election in history, and I won’t write this in order so you won’t see what I’m leading up to until a while after you read this part but there is some incredible stuff here. You know what’s not incredible?

NEW ARRIVALS

#74 – “Too Many Nights” – 220 KID and JC Stewart

Produced by 220 KID, Joe Janiak and Mark Ralph

I started off this episode by writing about the Bring Me the Horizon songs first. Not only is the album good and I had recently listened to it, but I had a lot more to say about the tracks, obviously since it’s not something you see on the charts every day and there’s a lot more to discuss in these tracks. Hence, after writing nearly 2,000 words on the metalcore boys alone, I have a question: do I really need to cover this emotionless tropical house-pop crap manufactured by labels and DJs who rarely find any interesting instrumentation, songwriting ideas or even samples to cover up their complete lack of innovation and at times even talent, for a quick buck and stupid amounts of unwarranted chart success? I don’t want to say I’m angry and I don’t want to seem pretentious but music is art. Art is, as a result of the society that produces it, a product, but even #1 hits and major-label records are still pieces of art. They can be analysed, appreciated and listened to with a lot of thought and detail. I cannot see that in “Too Many Nights” by 220 KID and JC Stewart. To me, this is purely a product. I’m taking this way too seriously but this really exemplifies what people hate about pop music in three minutes and eight seconds of cheap plastic dance music. Next.

#67 – “Ginger” – Wizkid featuring Burna Boy

Produced by P2J

Wizkid and Burna Boy are both highly acclaimed Nigerian singers and given everything that’s happening here recently, it’s no surprise Wizkid released an album that I would think touches on these issues, Made in Lagos, which is a name I can infer means he will explore Nigerian identity and what it means to be from Lagos and make it big in music. Wizkid is one of the big stars and pioneers of modern African pop music and whilst I should be interested in the album, I haven’t had the time to give it a spin yet so I’ll take this first impression from the track with Burna Boy. This is a pretty sweet tropical tune with an infectious hook referencing the traditional West African dish of jollof rice, and whilst the language barrier does prevent me from fully understanding the song, I can gather that this is a mix of a hook-up jam and typical rap stuff, with him flexing how he lives nice and if people want smoke, he’s got smoke, and a lot about this woman gyrating on him. Seriously, that’s the whole first verse, which only arrives after a really awkward pause. The second verse is kind of awkward here and Wizkid’s voice and flow have never done much for me, especially here where both he and Burna Boy sound checked-out. Burna Boy’s contributions are pretty much relegated to half of the chorus and an outro that quickly fades away and soon enough, this really slow, kind of uninteresting song has already finished. I’m not personally a fan of this but I am still interested in that album – I like the song with Skepta even if it does sound very much like “Ginger”, just with a stronger guest. Now onto the big story, or at least my big story, on the chart.

#55 – “1x1” – Bring Me the Horizon featuring Nova Twins

Produced by Jordan Smith and Oliver Sykes

I never read Kerrang! magazine, mostly because I’m not a loser [citation needed]. I understand that they originated in the 1980s as a metal-focused magazine but I wasn’t there for that. I was there for the Kerrang! TV era of pop-punk whining, scene-core screaming, nu-metal grunting, emo crooning and the Bloodhound Gang for some reason. Listening to this new Bring Me the Horizon album, titled Post Human: Survival Horror, took me back to that place. That feeling of classic Metallica followed by less classic Foo Fighters followed by the absolutely not classic Medina Lake (some of their stuff still slaps, however derivative) – oh, yeah, and like 10 minutes of adverts after six minutes of music. That feeling of All Time Low and You Me at Six playing back to back and being completely incapable of telling the difference between the two. “If we ain’t got that then we ain’t got much and we ain’t got nothing.” They were simpler times. I may be mashing up eras here but it still stands. Hell, the BABYMETAL tracks even took me back to the “Flashing Lights” disclaimers of all things. Rest in peace to Scuzz by the way, and, yes, I said BABYMETAL, we’ll get to that in a bit. So, yeah, I really liked that throwback to turn-of-the-millennium mallcore, but it does keep itself fresh and interesting enough throughout, especially with Sykes’ unique delivery and topical albeit ham-fisted edgy lyrics. You can say a lot about Bring Me the Horizon but at this point at least they definitely have pretty defining characteristics and a lot of likeability even if they do like to stick to a formula at times that makes it pretty obvious where their influences lie. That said, I do think the album becomes a slog by track seven, and it’s a lot duller than it probably should be for the final stretch. Unfortunately, this is track seven. I’m not familiar with the Nova Twins but they’re a punk-rap duo from London and honestly I am interested in checking out that debut album but I’m not really impressed by them or the metalcore boys – which is somehow a better band name than “Bring Me the Horizon” – on this track. Again, there is a formula to the metalcore boys’ banger tracks, and here it feels particularly stale and awkward, thanks to the loudness war that’s present in the album as a whole (Linkin Park’s influence shows up everywhere, even in the production) and the awkward trap elements shoved into the percussion of the first and second verses. I think Amy Love of Nova Twins obviously flows better on it than Oli Sykes who should have handed everything that’s not the chorus – one of the most cookie-cutter on the record – to the Twins, because he sounds pretty off here. There’s a lot less “epic edgy” lyrical content (I’m not sure if that’s a compliment) but that leads to kind of vague and disjointed ideas that don’t all line up to the core theme of the song, which is human guilt for the sins of man or some crap like that. Boys, when you interpolate four of your own songs AND Linkin Park, you’ve got to realise you’re re-treading some ground here. Not even the typical Bring Me the Horizon drop into the metal breakdown from an electronic bridge really feels like it’s worth it or climactic here, which is a shame but who needs the Nova Twins when the metalcore boys have a collaboration with another unique all-female rock duo...?

#51 – “Kingslayer” – Bring Me the Horizon featuring BABYMETAL

Produced by Jordan Fish and Oliver Sykes

When I saw BABYMETAL on this tracklist, I was amused and kind of laughed it off. These guys do have some pretty bizarre collaborations – they have songs with Halsey and Grimes – but BABYMETAL? I remember them when they were half-awesome Japanese pop-metal band and half-complete and utter meme in the early 2010s, and I knew that they had continued being so, mostly because the last time I heard from them they were playable in Super Mario Maker. Seriously, look it up. Now when I saw BABYMETAL on the charts, nearing the top 50 no less, I was ecstatic and honestly shocked. Needless to say this is their first appearance on the chart and whilst metal bands in the 2000s like Slipknot and System of a Down had genuine hits, outside of, fittingly, Bring Me the Horizon, it’s unheard of, especially for a Japanese girl group who happen to have freaking shredders playing on stage behind them. I haven’t listened to a BABYMETAL album but I feel like I don’t need to because of how much they’ve made an impression through singles, videos and live performances. Judas Priest’s Rob Halford called BABYMETAL “the future of metal” and whilst I’m not into the metal scene, I’m half-inclined to both agree and add Bring Me the Horizon to that conversation. I’m just amazed there is a cyber-kawaii metal song on the charts. I’m honestly astonished. Oh, and it helps that the song is incredible. On the album there’s a short interlude that functions as an introduction but honestly the short, aggressive synth riff followed by an immediate crash into the metal groove and Sykes yelling his lungs out works better on its own to just shove you face-first into some insane music. I love how that opening yell is chopped up and digitally re-arranged in the background of the chaotic instrumentation. The cutesy and bleep-bloopy synths that are not new to Bring Me the Horizon’s repertoire are used to their full potential here and yes, it is complete sensory overload, but it’s also kawaii-cyber metal. I mean, what did you expect? It also thematically makes sense. The song is about Call of Duty but it’s also an ode to the people willing to stand up for what they believe in even if it’s illegal and even if it doesn’t abide by rules and regulations. The album is full of these songs that fully support a revolutionary attitude and a clear frustration with keeping up with the old guard for all these years. You can hear how fed up and sick and tired of the political hellscape Sykes is in his shifts between pitch-shifted whining not dissimilar to Blink-182 and gravelly yelling straight out of extreme metal, except unlike most extreme metal I’ve heard, this is actually mixed properly. This track and especially the opener, “Dear Diary”, have so much anarchic energy and that is what I love about the hardcore punk edge to a lot of the album, not necessarily as much sonically as that in content and lyrical themes, where Sykes presents his inner mental struggles and contextualises them on the world stage, making an album that tackles the pandemic, racism and corruption vaguely and with poetic wit without being shallow or impersonal. Most songs that relate to the social distancing will not use the depressive emotional bloodletting of “Teardrops”, the subtly ominous yet still anthemic choruses about lockdown in “Obey” (seriously, these guys can make even YUNGBLUD sound listenable) and even the slow, sour conflict with both Mother Nature and general isolation on the closing ballad that has a name way too long for me to recite, as much as I enjoy upping the word count on every episode. Sykes’ verse in “Kingslayer” discusses opposing points of political opposition and protest, on one hand wanting to express how sick people are of going through the capitalist machine only to be spat back out again but also asking him the condescending question of if he really wants to poke the governmental bear. On the pre-chorus, he voices those frustrations in profanity-laden motivation that is asking not just himself but the general public to wake up, not that they’re unaware of how unfair the system is but instead acting as a call to action. Su-Metal of BABYMETAL takes this ode in a different angle, seeing revolutionaries as idolised figures, so much so that the chorus works as a confession of love or just awe in how the “kingslayer” is destroying castles in the sky and will save “us” from the darkness and from the struggles that the corrupt elite forces onto the populace. In the verse Su-Metal juxtaposes the imagery in the hook of some kind of medieval warrior (“angel of the blade”) with the near-incomprehensible verse, which is half-sung in Japanese with a cry for help responded to in commanding English, which I see as a reaction from the authority that undermines these problems. They call the revolutionary “artificial” and “modified” in a condescending, mocking tone, as well as using so much digital jargon that the verse becomes practically meaningless, especially backed by the heavy, loud music that drowns some of the messaging about and very much intentionally. It also seems pretty intentional that this song sounds like a take on an anime opening, as all of this cyber-punk imagery and anti-authority lyrical content feels a lot sharper when coated in references and criticism of mass-media. Oh, and it also helps that the song rocks, Su-Metal’s melodies are beautifully placed against a frenetic, monotone bass note in her verse, and that final chorus is absolutely perfect. That rapid-fire addition to the chorus took me by surprise on first listen and just completes the song for me. The song ends with one last wake-up call from Sykes about the rabbit hole before his yell is manipulated, screwed and played with by the production, rendering his scream inhuman... and followed by the playful, childlike inflections of BABYMETAL. If we don’t at least try to change in this time, the generations after us will suffer from our mistakes and missed opportunities. Man, this song is a rollercoaster that starts with drum and bass rhythms and ends with Oli Sykes growling gratuitous profanities that get close to feeling like he’s insulting the listener – it’s really brutal – and I’m here for it all the way. There have been songs on REVIEWING THE CHARTS that I like and that I love and whilst I know this won’t stick around (it is still cyber-kawaii metal), this is undoubtedly the best song I think I’ve ever covered on this show and might as well just be one of the best songs I’ve heard this year and maybe ever. I adore this track, please, PLEASE check it out.

#46 – “Flooded” – M Huncho and Nafe Smallz

Produced by Sean Murdz

Okay, seriously for a second: who cares? There’s nothing interesting here. A synth-based soundscape with some cheap flute loops drowned out by trap percussion that doesn’t even drop in, it just awkwardly fades in – yes, even the 808s – and Auto-Tuned mumbling from a nasal-voiced child with an unbearable falsetto. What is the appeal? None of them sound interested, there are no bars of any interest or even a funny line, not even unintentionally. D-Block Europe make me laugh but this tragically awful duo make me bored to death. M Huncho has a cool mask he wears and I wish his gimmick was more than just that and you know, actually translated to the music, but he doesn’t sound intimidating or like a villain. He just sounds like some dude who decided to rap barely on the beat of badly-mixed type beat with bass mastering that should be pitied. He did have a fluke song that kind of slapped called “Pee Pee”, which just comes to show that the more ridiculous and stupid he gets, the more vaguely entertaining he is. So why is he this dull and lame?! The flow is either talking over a beat that refuses to stay still but never truly reaches any kind of climax or even build-up, or just trap-rap word association. “I flooded the chain, it’s like a lake, we runnin’ the game, you pressin’ the brakes.” There’s nothing here, absolutely nothing, and these two hacks cannot sell it. I’m just looking for some effort and even if something is effortless, at least have the charisma to make it sound like you give a damn because this is pretty inexcusable.

#35 – “Paradise” – MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy

Produced by MEDUZA

I’m tired and I feel like I’m almost at breaking point with these songs. What would usually be generic and uninteresting is sounding offensively bad to me right now and I’m not sure why. That doesn’t really matter all too much to me though as this show has never been an in-depth critical assessment... okay, well sometimes it becomes as such but these are usually just my first impressions of tracks that happen to debut that week on the UK Singles Chart and this can range from volatile frustration to immediate adoration to not giving a rat’s ass about a single one of the songs that debut, depending on how I feel that day. That said, this song is fine. I actually really like Kennedy’s delivery, even if his rougher edges are smoothened and cleaned up by the vocal production here, which is pretty reverb-drenched but does allow for Kennedy to actually release rather than editing the vocals to sound really tight and closed-in... except for that really weak, pathetic drop but I do like the lyrical content, fittingly about distanced relationships as England enters a second lockdown. There’s little to say here but it’s worth a listen.

#32 – “Four Notes – Paul’s Tune” – Paul Harvey, Daniel Whibley and BBC Philharmonic

Produced by ???

No production credits for this one for whatever reason. Anyway, I am tired to the point of just complete speechless confusion at why this charted, and especially so high, rather than having any intrigue in why, but I looked it up anyway. Paul Harvey is a man from Sussex with dementia who is able to improvise beautiful piano melodies with only four notes as a reference point, hence the name. This was recorded by his son Nick and posted onto Twitter, where it soon became viral. This composition was then arranged by Daniel Whibley and recorded by the BBC’s Philharmonic Orchestra to be released as a charity single with proceeds being split between the Alzheimer’s Society and Music for Dementia. This isn’t a song I can critique. The arrangement is really pretty and it was in the original video, with the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra only serving to make it sound grander and fitting for a single release. Dementia, Alzheimer’s and any kind of brain disorder are all really tragic and really depressing things to happen to anybody, especially to the people it tends to affect: the elderly. It’s sweet that this is a single and I like that it charted high so those organisations that can assist science in treating these disorders and give help to those with family members diagnosed with and suffering from brain disorders have more funding. The song sounds good, it’s mixed well and honestly it’s pretty gorgeous at times, and if this helps people, then it’s done its job, and I commend Harvey and his son, Daniel Whibley and the BBC for letting this happen. Now for something completely different.

#26 – “Deluded” – Tion Wayne featuring MIST

Produced by Steel Banglez and Chris Rich Beats

Steel Banglez, Tion Wayne and MIST? God, maybe we are returning to the new normal; this is a 2019 line-up. Tion Wayne is a character and a presence on the track always and MIST is quite the opposite, but that “So High” song with Fredo was pretty cool, I suppose. Tion Wayne has always been more of an entertaining presence than half this crop of drill rappers, even if his flow and bars suffer from it, but he’s always a lot more fun and he does have a couple punchlines that hit. This particular song uses that “mm-mm” flow that originated on his track “Keisha & Becky”, and both him and MIST sound really interested and enthused here, as they trade bars in the verses and support each other with ad-libs throughout. The two seem to actually have some chemistry and it’s not an unnatural collaboration. Even in Tion Wayne’s solo chorus, MIST is shouting behind him, and it overall makes the song really aggressive and punchy, even if some of the lyrics are just kind of uninteresting or even confusing, like the oddly-specific jab at an unnamed crack abuser, always referred to as “you” in the song. Is the listener a crack addict? Should I be scared? I’m not entirely sure, but this kind of slaps, especially the keys and vocal sample in the outro. It kind of reminds me of a harsher version of the #1 hit back from 2018, “Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo, except these guys are legitimately menacing in the song and the bass-heavy drill beat never subtracts from that, not to say that “Funky Friday” is a bad song (far from it). It’s not about being able to convince me with lyrics, it’s about being able to sell what you say effectively and interestingly – not even uniquely, but just in a way that’s presentable and leads to genuinely good music. M Huncho and Nafe Smallz could take a couple hints from these guys.

#16 – “motive” – Ariana Grande and Doja Cat

Produced by TBHits, Joseph L’Etranger, Mr. Franks and Murda Beatz

Murda Beatz, huh? Well, I haven’t listened to Positions yet, mostly because I’ve been bumping Goddamn Bring Me the Horizon for the past week, but also because 14 tracks of the same song doesn’t necessarily interest me. For the sake of the show I probably should check the album out – it’s not that long – but don’t expect me to have that a positive opinion on it. I said my peace on Grande last week and given the singles I seriously doubt this album will erase my continuous issues with her projects. I’ve always felt that despite her unbelievable talent, she is also unbelievably disinterested and detached from her own music to the point where whatever artistic contributions and creativity she and her team had is completely washed out by the questionable production, weak-sauce trap beats and misguided song ideas (I still roll my eyes on “7 rings” and “sweetener”). From what I’ve heard from this new album, it has a lot more classic R&B keys and strings undercut by trap skitters and modern vocal production, and this is pretty clear in “motive”, a funky house-inspired dance-pop tune that feels miles less robotic and factory-made than most house on the charts, instead going for an organic fast-paced groove and mildly annoying vocal samples. The trap breakdown in the pre-chorus is what gives Murda Beatz the right to put his producer tag at the start of the song, which is honestly just funny. I do like the verses but the chorus doesn’t hit in quite the same way it should, possibly that pre-chorus is just garbage and it doesn’t build to an effective crescendo for the chorus to build up on off of whispery murmuring. Oh, and Doja Cat is here, which took me by surprise when she started lazily rapping since Ari actually sounded like her in the second verse. In fact, this is a Doja Cat song in all but lead artist credit and honestly, the song kind of suffers because of it. This is decent, I suppose, but a collaboration that doesn’t favour either artist.

#9 – “34+35” – Ariana Grande

Produced by ProdByXavi, Mr. Franks, Peter Lee Johnson and TBHits

Ariana Grande’s albums have disproportionate producer credit to producer effort ratio. At least there’s not a M-M-M-Murda on this one. The song title is stupid but this was pushed to radio so I guess it has to be family-friendly PG clean to some degree. It is interesting how it goes for the absurdity of being dirty over Disney-like orchestral blossoms and pretty nice-sounding strings, but it doesn’t go far enough other than the chorus. It’s missing a good, effective, funny opening line, and I feel that the verses are pretty lacking. The pre-chorus is almost cringeworthy and just going into bizarre levels of horny on main but that is very much the point of the whole thing. “You know I keep it squeaky”? I find it almost difficult to take this song as anything more than a joke, but she does have some pretty commanding tones when she asks him to “just give me them babies” and the snarky laugh in the intro combined with pretty slick albeit absolutely stupid punchlines that go from so bad it’s good territory to just unabashedly ridiculous and embracing itself as such. I love the falsetto in the chorus even if it is just building up to that stupid title that is nowhere near as clever as Ari thinks it is. By the way, she completely delivers here and it’s a pretty damn great performance from her, one of her most enthusiastic on record, even with her now typical “yuh”s spread throughout. Hell, the rap verse actually works this time mostly because her charisma actually comes through and the trap skitter has some energy this time, unlike “7 rings”. I don’t get the end where she says she was never good at maths, though, because “34 + 35 = 69” is a pretty solid and correct albeit obviously simple calculation. You got the answer, give it a tick in a different colour pen.

Got the neighbours yellin’, “Earthquake!” / 4.5 when I make the bed shake

There’s a song in the top 10 that uses the moment magnitude scale as a sex metaphor. 2020, everyone.

Conclusion

Let’s cut to the chase: Best of the Week goes to Bring Me the Horizon and BABYMETAL for “Kingslayer”, which should have been obvious. I’m so glad I expanded beyond the top 40 on this show. It means I can talk about songs like that in depth. Honourable Mention might actually go to Ariana Grande’s “34+35” on plain fun alone, although the similarly numeric “1x1” did get close. The Worst of the Week is really a toss-up because there was a lot of disposable filler between the good and interesting stuff this week had to offer. I’ll probably go with “Flooded” by M Huncho and Nafe Smallz, with a Dishonourable Mention to “Too Many Nights” by 220 KID and JC Stewart. Both are just impressively lacking in effort or any appeal I can search for, but knowing my luck, they’ll both be “Old Town Road”-level big. Here’s our top 10:

Thanks for reading this! You can follow me @cactusinthebank on Twitter and I need some sleep. See you next week!

[growinstablog]

Guide to Instagram for Fashion

Instagram. The place you search through when you need inspiration, the place you scroll when feeling a bit bored, and even the place you visit to find your new outfit. Yes, you have read that right. It seems that Instagram has become a digital catwalk with fashion brands showing off their eye-catching designs.

All big fashion giants like Louis Vuitton, Nike and Everlane understand the importance of keeping your Instagram following fully engaged, and spare a significant budget on building their Instagram following. As more and more brands are advertising on Instagram, you will need a pretty good content strategy to stand out from the competition. Instagram has numerous amazing features you can use to make sure users remember your content feed. Well, let’s take a look at some key areas you will need to focus on:

Hashtags, Hashtags, Hashtags: I cannot emphasize this enough. If used correctly hashtags can be your best friend. Don’t go for viral hashtags that have been used a million times, it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. Aim for niche hashtags that are popular enough to be seen!

Call-To-Actions: Having a pretty feed is not enough to earn new clients. You need to direct users into your page through a call-to-action. Place it in your post’s copy or your bio to start converting users into buyers!

Don’t forget your stories: Stories are a great way to show some behind-the-scenes photos and videos and engage with your followers. For example, Etsy has been posting tutorials for anything you can think about, while National Geographic puts some amazing listicles out there.

Use different types of engaging posts: Use Carousel posts to show off your product in different scenarios and lifestyle concepts. And who said that static posts need to be boring? Be creative and use dynamic, eye-grabbing images to get some fuss going around your feed.

Keep the copy short: Remember that people’s attention span is becoming only shorter and shorter.

Humanize the brand: Be authentic and genuine and make sure you are consistent with your brand’s personality and vision.

Build connections: Make sure your audience is on board all the way. Share a Q&A to enable direct interaction and give shoutouts to your followers. .. Go search for #RedCupContest to see what Starbucks did and you will know exactly what I mean.

Influencers: Last but not least, use influencers to encourage users to trust your brand by increasing your brand’s social proof.

But what type of content? This is a tricky one. Concentrating on only one type of content is not the best thing to do. That’s why we suggest you spice it up a little bit. Here is some inspiration on what types of content you should be posting:

Your product’s features and functionalities. Show the world why your products’ are better from the rest. You can get an idea of what I am talking about by visiting Zara’s Instagram – they are doing a good job showcasing their best outfits. All types of news and updates. If you‘ve got something new and exciting coming up, share it.

User-Generated Content

It’s always a good idea to hear what your audience is saying. Give them some voice! For instance, Fashion Nova is posting pictures originally uploaded by customers and calls out to users to use more #FashionNova hashtags for a chance to be featured

Your behind-the-scenes photos and videos. Sometimes you need to show the simpler, more natural side of your brand to form real connections and build brand loyalty. Hint: Stories are built just for that

Influencers

Sometimes you might need some help from some influencers to put your brand back on the spotlight. Don’t overlook micro-influencers, they are often more influential and of course cheaper.

Shopping

Don’t forget Instagram’s shoppable features With all the fuss going around Instagram, it’s no wonder why fashion brands have started using the platform to drive more sales into their business. Instagram offers some really cool shoppable features that you need to know. Let’s look at what we found:

Shopping posts: You have definitely seen these quite a lot lately. This new feature allows you to ‘tag’ products within the post and links the users into the respective website.

Target audience: Keep a close eye on Instagram analytics to see the people following your account. Are those the ones you want to target? If not, maybe it’s time to make some changes.

Giveaway: This is a great way to get to promote your brand and products while growing your followers.

Stories

Make your stories worth watching! If you are looking for inspiration for your Instagram stories, you are in the right place. Read through the next 12 tips to get your stories up and running!

Use links in your stories to drive users just where you want them to be. Swipe up all the way!

Use polls and get people to vote. So which outfit is the best?

Engage with your users with emoji sliders.

Use a questions sticker on your story and keep those questions coming!

Got an event coming up? Use the countdown sticker.

Don’t forget to add some funny elements as well. That’s what GIFs are for.

You can also add some music to go well with that vintage outfit in your story.

Go behind the scenes and capture those unpolished shots that will build a sense of honesty.

Don’t forget the hashtags! #instafashion

Post visually engaging content that will tempt users to buy that outfit.

And if you have posted something you don’t want to be forgotten, make sure you highlight it! Highlights are a key feature to keep in mind. It can really help you show off your top skills and grab the user’s attention instantly. Wondering how you can do this?

Group your stories into categories and let users decide on the content they want to watch. How about #summeroutfits, #styleinspiration and #trending? Check out ASOS Instagram page to see an excellent example of highlight categorization.

Keep it simple. Don’t overcrowd it. Nobody wants to watch 50 stories in a row.

Use emojis. It really does make a difference. So if you have a bikini collection you want to show off, make sure you add that bikini emoji. 👙

Hashtags: The Fashion Way

If you are wondering what hashtags you are better off using, we have this ready for you:

#OOTD

#FashionBlogger

#Fashionista

#FashionIcon

#FashionAddict

#FashionLover

#InstaFashion

#FashionWeek

#FasionDiaries

#FashionDaily

#lookoftheday

#lookbook

#streetfashion

#fashionblog

#fashiongram

#instablogger

#bohemianlook

#outfitgoals

#bohochic

#trendsetter

#currentlywearing

#look

#fashionstylist

#urbanstyle

#dailylook

#everydayfashion

#whatiwore

#trend

#instastyle

#styleblog

What’s IGTV All About?

Instagram TV introduces a new mobile-friendly type of content that can be up to 60 minutes long. The good thing about IGTV is that it is ad-free, which can really increase your viewership. IGTV can open up a whole new range of opportunities for brands to step into.

Keep in mind that your video needs to tell a story. So make it interesting and make sure you have your audience engaged all the way through. We can learn from Bacardi who introduced DJ A-Trak with the Twins along an Instagram poll to get users to vote on how the video should roll out. Based on the votes a music video was then developed. So get those IGTV videos up and running.

Measuring the Results

This point is one of the most important parts of your strategy but nevertheless, it is very often overlooked. In order to understand where you are good at, and where you need to improve, you will need to take a deeper look into performance metrics. Keep your eye on the growth rate, reach, engagement, conversion rate, clicks and sales to monitor how your strategy is performing. Make sure that you follow the constantly changing fashion world, and adapt your strategy accordingly.

You are all ready to dive in…

As Instagram is growing at an unprecedented rate, more and more fashion brands are diving into Instagram head first. This article was created to give you a good head start on the Instagram world. Make sure you read each and every section to get familiar with the endless Instagram features and tools, ranging from Instagram stories to IGTV.

https://growinsta.xyz/guide-to-instagram-for-fashion/

[larsminute]

Coronavirus may confine us - but we can learn to explore in very different ways

Alain de Botton: how to travel from your sofa At some point in the 1650s, the French philosopher and mathematician Blaise Pascal jotted down one of the most counterintuitive aphorisms of all time: “The sole cause of man’s unhappiness is that he cannot stay quietly in his room.

”Really? Surely having to stay quietly in one’s room must be the start of a particularly evolved kind of psychological torture? What could be more opposed to the human spirit than to have to inhabit four walls when, potentially, there would be a whole planet to explore?

And yet Pascal’s idea usefully challenges one of our most cherished beliefs: that we must always go to new places in order to feel and discover fresh and worthwhile things. What if, in fact, there were already a treasury inside us?

What if we had within our own brains already accumulated a sufficient number of awe-inspiring, calming and interesting experiences to last us 10 lifetimes? What if our real problem was not so much that we are not allowed to go anywhere — but that we don’t know how to make the most of what is already to hand?

Being confined at home gives us a range of curious benefits. The first is an encouragement to think. Whatever we like to believe, few of us do much of the solitary, original, bold kind of thinking that can restore our spirits and move our lives ahead. The new ideas we might stumble upon if we did travel more ambitiously around our minds while lying on the sofa could threaten our mental status quo.

An original thought might, for example, alienate us from what people around us think of as normal. Or it might herald a realisation that we’ve been pursuing the wrong approach to an important issue in our lives, perhaps for a long time. If we took a given new idea seriously, we might have to abandon a relationship, leave a job, ditch a friend, apologise to someone, rethink our sexuality or break a habit.

But a period of quiet thinking in our room creates an occasion when the mind can order and understand itself. Fears, resentments and hopes become easier to name; we grow less scared of the contents of our own minds — and less resentful, calmer and clearer about our direction. We start, in faltering steps, to know ourselves slightly better. 

Another thing we can do in our own rooms is to return to travels we have already taken.This is not a fashionable idea. Most of the time, we are given powerful encouragement to engineer new kinds of travel experiences.The idea of making a big deal of revisiting a journey in memory sounds a little strange —or simply sad. This is an enormous pity. We are careless curators of our own pasts. We push the important scenes that have happened to us to the back of the cupboard of our minds and don’t expect to see them ever again.

But what if we were to alter the hierarchy of prestige a little and argue that regular immersion in our travel memories could be a critical part of what can sustain and console us — and, not least, is perhaps the cheapest and most flexible form of entertainment. We should think it almost as prestigious to sit at home and reflect on a trip we once took to an island with our imaginations, as to trek to the island with our cumbersome bodies.

In our neglect of our memories, we are spoilt children, who squeeze only a portion of the pleasure from experiences and then toss them aside to seek fresh thrills. Part of why we feel the need for so many new experiences may simply be that we are so bad at absorbing the ones we have had.

To help us focus more on our memories, we need nothing technical. We certainly don’t need a camera. There is one in our minds already: it is always on, it takes in everything we’ve ever seen. Huge chunks of experience are still there in our heads,intact and vivid, just waiting for us to ask ourselves leading questions, such as:“Where did we go after we landed?” or “What was the first breakfast like?” Our experiences have not disappeared, just because they are no longer unfolding right in front of our eyes. We can remain in touch with so much of what made them pleasurable simply through the art of evocation.and reflect on a trip we once took to an island as to trek to the island with our cumbersome bodies.

We talk endlessly of virtual reality. Yet we don’t need gadgets. We have the finest virtual reality machines already in our own heads. We can — right now — shut our eyes and travel into, and linger among, the very best and most consoling and life-enhancing bits of our pasts.

We tend to travel because of a background belief that, of course, the reality of a scene must be nicer than a mental image we form of it at home. But there is something about the way our minds work that we would do well to study when we regret our inability to go anywhere. There will always be something else that obscures that beautiful destination scene, something so tricky and oppressive as to somewhat undermine the purpose of having left home in the first place, namely: ourselves. 

We have no choice but to bring ourselves along to every destination we ever want to enjoy. And that means bringing along so much of the mental baggage that makes being us so intolerably problematic day to day: all the anxiety, regret, confusion, guilt,irritability and despair.

None of this smear of the self is there when we picture a trip from home for a few minutes. In the imagination, we can enjoy unsullied views. But there, at the foot of the golden temple or high up on the pine-covered mountain, we stand to find that there is so much of “us” intruding on our vistas.

There’s a tragicomic irony at work: the vast labour of getting ourselves physically to a place won’t necessarily bring us any closer to the essence of what we seek. As we should remind ourselves, we may already enjoy the very best that any place has to offer us simply by thinking about it.

Let’s turn to another Frenchman with a comparable underlying philosophy. In the spring of 1790, a 27-year-old writer called Xavier de Maistre locked himself at home and decided to study the wonders and beauty of what lay closest to him,entitling the account of what he had seen A Journey Around My Room.

The book is a charming shaggy-dog story. De Maistre shuts his door and changes into a pair of pink-and-blue pyjamas. Without needing to pack a suitcase, he “travels” to the sofa, which he looks at through fresh eyes and appreciates anew. He admires itselegant feet and remembers the pleasant hours he has spent among its cushions,dreaming of professional success and love.

Next, de Maistre spots his bed. Using a traveller’s perspective, he also learns to value this piece of furniture. He feels gratitude for the agreeable nights he has passed in it and takes pride that his sheets almost match his pyjamas. “I advise every man who can to get himself pink-and-white bed linen,” he writes, for these are colours to induce calm and pleasant reveries in the fragile sleeper.

However playful, de Maistre’s work is inspired by a profound insight: that the pleasure we find in new places is perhaps dependent more on the mindset with which we travel than on the destination. If only we could apply a similar mindset to our own rooms and immediate neighbourhoods, we might find these places becoming no less fascinating than foreign lands.

So, what is the traveller’s mindset? Receptivity, appreciation and gratitude might beits chief characteristics. And, crucially, this mindset doesn’t need to wait for a farawayjourney to be deployed.

A walk is the smallest sort of journey we can ever undertake. It stands in relation to atypical holiday as a bonsai tree does to a forest. But even if it is only an eight-minute interlude around the block or a few moments in a nearby park, a walk is already a journey in which many of the grander themes of travel are present.

We might, on such a walk, catch sight of a flower. It is extremely rare properly to delight in flowers when one can at any point take off to another continent. There are so many larger, grander things to be concerned about than these small, delicately sculpted manifestations of nature. However, it is unusual to be left entirely indifferent by flowers when the world has narrowed dramatically and there is global sadness in the air. Flowers no longer seem like a petty distraction from a mighty destiny, but a genuine pleasure amid a litany of troubles, a small resting place for hope in a sea of difficulties.

Or we might, on a local walk, spot a small animal: a duck or a hedgehog. Its life goes on utterly oblivious to ours. It is entirely devoted to its own purposes. The habits of its species have not changed for centuries. We may be looking intently at it but it feels not the slightest curiosity about who we are; from its point of view, we are absorbed into the immense blankness of unknowable things. A duck will take a piece of bread as gladly from a criminal as from a high-court judge, from a billionaire as from a bankrupt felon; our individuality is suspended and, on certain days, that may be an enormous relief.

On our walk around the block, themes we’d lost touch with — childhood, an odd dream we’ve had, a friend we haven’t seen for years, a big task we had always told ourselves we’d undertake — float into attention. In physical terms, we’re hardly going any distance at all, but we’re crossing acres of mental territory.

A short while later, we’re back at home once again. No one has missed us, or perhaps even noticed we’ve been out. Yet we are subtly different: a slightly more complete,more visionary, courageous and imaginative version of the person we knew how to be before we wisely went out on a modest journey.

We will — one day — recover our freedoms. The world will be ours to roam in once more. But during our collective confinements, aside from the obvious inconveniences,we might come to cherish some of what is granted to us when we lose our customary liberties. It cannot be a coincidence that many of the world’s greatest thinkers have spent unusual amounts of time alone in their rooms. Silence gives us an opportunity to appreciate a great deal of what we generally see without properly noticing; and to understand what we have felt but not yet adequately processed.

We have at present not only been locked away; we have also been granted the privilege of being able to travel around a range of unfamiliar, sometimes daunting but essentially wondrous inner continents. 

- Alain de Botton

[picturesinlove]

THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT: a *super* unoriginal ‘best films of 2017′ list

In life, we’re constantly asked what we learnt from things. It’s one way of measuring a completely immeasurable experience. Most films are built on this- ’character arcs’- how do they change and grow? What do they learn? (That’s not a negative thing, just the mechanics of this stick out when it’s done badly). With that in mind, I asked myself, from everything I watched this year, what did I learn?

THE BEST 12 ‘FILMS’ of 2017:

The first thing I learnt- films and TV series have become indistinguishable. It didn’t happen solely this year, but 2017 is definitely the ‘flag in the road’ point. Films are increasingly designed so they can be watched on a small screen with headphones, and most TV should really be watched on a big screen with proper speakers. And TV is sort of the wrong word. Netflix isn’t TV. I don’t know what it is. Just Long Form Storytelling perhaps? It’s certainly becoming less and less episodic. More and more feel like 10 hour films split into 10 parts so you can digest it better. So, this list is really the best 12 *things* of 2017.

The second thing I learnt- how you watch something is almost as important as what you’re watching. What headspace you were in, what time of day it was, if the room was totally dark, if someone a few rows in front of you was talking through the movie, if you’d seen the previous instalments in the series, hell- even if you’d seen the trailer. It all adds to how you think about the film. So, on the list, I’ve included where I saw it.

12. THE DISASTER ARTIST (directed by James Franco)

True story about the making of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room, the best worst film ever made.

I cried like I haven’t cried in years watching this. I don’t know what it was. Just something about the last act hit me so hard I couldn’t contain myself. And when you’re trying to contain yourself BECAUSE THIS IS NOT A SAD FILM AND YOU SHOULD NOT BE CRYING EVERYONE ELSE AROUND YOU IS LAUGHING PLEASE STOP CRYING it’s really hard to stop. It’s a story of ambition, heart and following your dreams no matter what.

Green screen! Lovely green screeeeen! Purely on an aesthetic level, whenever they’re shooting against that unmistakable, vibrant colour I just loved it.

You know when films do that thing and show pictures of the real people the film’s about before the credits so you can go ‘wow this film’s so accurate and got that detail right’?? This does a version of that, and it’s the only one that’s ever mattered/will ever matter.

The real Tommy Wiseau also has my favourite film related tweet of 2017:

Seen at BFI Southbank.

11. ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK SEASON 5 (created by Jenji Kohan)

The lives of the women at Litchfield Penitentiary, a minimum-security prison in upstate New York. (the annimalllsss the animalllls, TRAP TRAP TRAP till the cage is fulllll...)

This show is about everything the opening titles suggest- women, decisions and time. What’s striking about OITNB is the characters never serve the plot. Plot *is* character. It’s there to serve them. It gives us a framework to waste time with these characters, because ‘all they’ve got is time’.

Season 5 is brave in terms of content and form. There are thousands of people more qualified to speak about the content, so I’ll leave it to them. Form wise: Orange is the New Black is Netflix’s most watched show, and probably it’s major tentpole along with Stranger Things. It has a well-oiled structure. Each season takes place over a few weeks, each episode focusses us in on one character, complete with flashbacks that inform us how they ended up in prison. Season 5 tears that to shreds, setting it basically in real time over 3 days. When it works, it *really* works. There’s no looking away. You feel the grind of what they’re going through. It sometimes leaves them too much time to pad out and we get some boring side plots- but on ambition alone I loved it.

It’s the perfect continuation and accumulation of previous seasons in many ways. The characters you know and love are in extraordinary circumstances. It brings out sides to their personalities that you never knew were there, but fit perfectly. Where all the characters are situated within the prison after the inciting incident is the best use of character geography *as* character I’ve ever seen. Tonally the series has gradually been getting nastier and nastier for a while, but there’s a scene towards the end of this season which is so nasty and so long and REFUSES to cut away even though you desperately, desperately want them too. It’s raw. It hurts. It’s a scene the show has always been heading for tonally and building towards dramatically. 

Season 5 slots in just under 4 for me in terms of ranking them all- but it’s still damn good. One things for certain, 5 changed everything for OITNB. The game is different. 

Oh, and Nicky’s the MVP. 

Netflix.

10. BAD GENIUS (directed by Nattawut Poonpiriya)

Thai Heist-Thriller. A genius high school student makes money after developing elaborate methods to help other students cheat.

WHAT A FUCKING RIDE!! The most fun I’ve had in a cinema all year. More stakes in this than most ‘end of the world’ superhero movies. Genuinely unpredictable.

The filmmaking is so good it makes you forget plausibility is sometimes being pushed. Amazing set-pieces. Expertly choreographed. Form and content perfectly married. This is the best way to tell this story, like a Michael Mann thriller, a Steven Soderbergh Oceans-style heist.

Every character is so rich and textured in their own way. So fully realised. You’ve met them all at some point in your life. It’s whimsical, but painful and genuinely emotional when it needs to be. Never pulls it’s punches.

2 years time, there will almost certainly be an American remake… and it’ll suck so hard. It’s rooted in Thailand, the socio-economic situation of people, the time zones, the pressure to succeed, and honestly- just hearing it in Thai. 

SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. If you take anything from reading any of this, SEE THIS FILM.

Seen at Vue Leicester Square.

9. NATHAN FOR YOU: FINDING FRANCES (directed by Nathan Fielder)

The feature-length finale of Nathan For You’s 4th season. It’s a show that’s difficult to describe without saying ‘trust me’.... but honestly, *trust me*. Nathan Fielder graduated from business school with ‘really good grades’. He offers outlandish solutions to solve problems for struggling small businesses. In Finding Frances, Fielder uses all the resources of his successful show to help an old Bill Gates impressionist track down his high school sweetheart. Trust me.

Nathan Fielder has accidentally and totally on purpose made one of the best documentaries of the last 10 years.

It’s funny how we remember things. Reality and fiction are blurred. Truth is irrelevant. What does real mean? Does it even matter if we remember it how we want to?

Laptop.

8. THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI (directed by Martin McDonagh)

A mother takes desperate steps to pressure local law enforcement to find her daughter’s killer.

Perfectly woven and layered characters. I fucking hate the phrase ‘the character arc’, but if I were teaching a class in it- I’d show this film.

A film about relationships, and every relationship between every character or creature or inanimate object is perfect.

McDonagh loves theatrical sensibilities. Nobody does grand, rich set-pieces quite like him… makes highly stylised situations feel real in the world he sets up.

I could have watched hours more of these characters interacting.

Seen at Embankment Garden Cinema.

7. BLADE RUNNER 2049 (directed by Denis Villeneuve)

Neo-noir, sci-fi sequel to Ridley Scott’s 1981 classic.

I’m not a fan of the original Blade Runner. I appreciate it! It’s beautiful! and groundbreaking! but I just find it so heartless and cold. I just can’t connect to it. The best sci-fis are amazing stories with really fun furniture (the gadgets, tech etc.) The original is too much furniture for me. In other words, I had no reason to like this one IP wise. 2049 takes everything that could have been interesting from the original and expands on that. The furniture is just that- furniture. An amazing setting that enriches and serves the story. Everything is there to tell the story. I left the cinema feeling I’d experienced something the way that everyone talks about experiencing the first one.

The most expensive art film ever made. I literally cannot believe this exists. I cannot believe they gave Villeneuve £185MILLION to make a 3-hour long, philosophical film that has no blockbuster tropes: no loveable rogue hero; no ‘off-beat’ quippy humour to keep you interested; no CGI extravaganza 3rd act; NO.FUCKING.SKYBEAM with floating garbage spinning around it that threatens to destroy the world and the heroes have to stop it before everyone in the world dies; no setting up 5 other already planned sequels in the franchise so nothing important happens in this one. It’s a rare type of blockbuster in 2017- one that trusts it’s audience is intelligent.

Denis Villeneuve really is the most exciting director working today. This is just further proof. Arrival (2016) still my favourite of his, but I’m almost more in awe of him for this. Taking such a well-loved franchise and doing something new with it in a way that still feels respectful of what’s come before. It’s his film.

The only use of Hollywood’s new trend of digitally recreating actors (ala Peter Cushing in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story) that will ever matter. THIS is how you do it well.

Gender politics (we’re gunna’ go there, SPOILERS AHEAD and I know my opinion doesn’t really matter or count for anything on this just thought it’d be silly not to bring it up, feel free to disagree, v. interested to hear what everyone thinks about this!!) Lots has been written about the treatment of female characters in 2049. Most apt example I can think of to explain how I feel- Taxi Driver (1976), there’s a cafe scene in which the camera lingers on some black characters for uncomfortably long in a kind of parading manner, a ‘look at how terrible these guys are’ manner... it’s very understandable why one could interpret the film itself as racist. I’d argue the film is completely aware of what it’s doing- it’s putting us in Travis Bickle’s eyes, who is a racist character. I mean, we’re literally in his head the whole thing, hearing what he’s thinking and seeing what he’s seeing... I guess what I’m saying is- ‘it’s a decision.’ It’s not an offhand random shot where the filmmaker’s own gaze comes through, it’s a skilfully planned decision to make us question and think about something, in Taxi Driver’s case- what kind of man Bickle is. The treatment of women in 2049 *IS* a decision. It’s not Villeneuve lazily commodifying women, it’s him saying a world where women are only a commodity is a fucking bleak one. It’s a world where real women have been rendered obsolete because the height of success in our society (the CEO of a large corporation), an egoistical white guy with a god-complex manufactures life so women aren’t necessary for continuing the human race, and creates holographic partners for everyday men so they’re emotionally fulfilled without having to engage with actual women. And it’s so horrible. I mean, is anybody happy in this film? Is the picture of the future this film paints bright? It’s a film about how the arrogance of men will destroy everything. And on a base story level, it’s literally about guy who thinks everything is about him... but it turns out to be about a woman. Perhaps it’s lazy for the film to make the decision ‘it’s a patriarchal world so all the women are prostitutes and are treated badly so we’re just gunna’ do that’, but I dunno’... I think there’s more going on. I think Villeneuve is too good for that. I mean his last film was literally about a genius female linguist being the saviour of the world and how a mother’s love is the most precious thing. Would he really do such a U-turn and make a film where the female characters are just objects to be gazed at? I mean- maybe?? If any other aspect of the film felt like it was the studio meddling with Villenueve’s vision I’d buy that... but it’s just SO his film. And I think he’s clever enough to know who the primary audience of this film is- geeky 20 year-old guys. He draws them in with the surface (and all too familiar) images of the female characters, and then turns all of that on it’s head. Just my opinion. Obviously I can never be completely impartial- very happy to be converted the other way. 

Seen at Picturehouse Central.

6. CALL ME BY YOUR NAME (directed by Luca Guadagnino)

Somewhere in Northern Italy, Summer 1983, Elio’s life changes.

Sun-drenched Europe, the smell of warmth and twirling cigarette smoke, deep blue sky- pure, breakfast with a glass of apricot juice and an espresso, the sound of bike spokes spinning lazily.

I wish I could live with these people.

‘Later.’

The rawest and best final shot in the last 10 years.

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square.

5. THE BIG SICK (directed by Michael Showalter)

A Pakistani-born standup comedian/Uber driver and a grad student strike up an unlikely relationship.

MAGIC. The perfect retort to use when someone says ‘all rom-coms suck’. A genuine slab of gold that’s as funny as it is heartfelt. And it’s just SO the kind of thing I like.

I’m unbelievably bored of films and just art in general that’s terrified of being sincere in fear of being labelled sappy or over-sentimental. The Big Sick says ‘fuck you’ to that school of thought and goes for it. 

Comedy, romance and drama are effortlessly blended- sometimes all in the same scene. And it never feels off-kilter, mainly due to the amazing performances. Kumail Nanjiani, Zoe Kazan, Ray Romano, Holly Hunter and the rest of the cast always play the truth of the scene- not the humour, the romance or the drama, just the TRUTH of the moment.

The perfect antidote to the year 2017 in general.

Seen at Aldeburgh Cinema.

4. YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE (directed by Lynne Ramsay)

Gulf War veteran Joe rescues children from trafficking rings.

This is a horror. And more terrifying than any jump scare, this whole film is populated by ghosts.

Deeply troubled, deeply disturbed. Beautiful. Precise. Scatter-brained. Focused. A violin strung too tightly, then played by a madman. How can something so stripped down and raw feel so symphonic and wholesome?

There are things in this that will play on loop in my head for the rest of my life. Images and sounds so seared into my brain they find me at the strangest of moments in a day, and I’m always left thinking about them for the rest of that day. It’s clever like that. Joe can never escape what he’s seen. 

Francis Ford Coppola famously told press at the 1979 Cannes premiere of Apocalypse Now - ‘My film is not about Vietnam. It is Vietnam.’

You Were Never Really Here is not about PTSD... it is PTSD.

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square.

3. LOGAN (directed by James Mangold)

Wolverine’s last outing.

I’m not a huge fan of superhero films. Most are fun. Most are also lazy. Few will survive the test of time. Those that will use all the tricks in their genre box and do something interesting with them, transcend- Rami’s Spiderman 2 (2004), Bird’s The Incredibles (2004), Nolan’s The Dark Knight (2008)... and Mangold’s Logan. 

So aged. So weary. Everyone is tired. Tired of running, tired of fighting, tired of living. Like three sharp metal claws jaggedly tearing through flesh, nothing is polished about this. Bloodshot eyes, skin like leather. He feels so much regret. Like most real heroes, he mourns those he couldn’t save rather than celebrates those he did. And it’s eaten him up inside for the hundreds of years he’s lived.

Here I go talking about furniture again... but every piece of furniture (superpowers etc.) is there to serve the story (and here the characters are story). Like so many blockbusters and superhero movies fail to do, this film is about something other than the furniture... e.g. how do you tell a story about dementia that gives someone who hasn’t experienced a family member suffering from it *that* feeling of sadness, loss, embarrassment, empathy and frustration? You give it to Charles Xavier (played by Patrick Stewart), a character you’re use to seeing as the leader, who always has a clever plan up his sleeve and has the ability to control other’s minds. You give it to him, and you force everyone watch the person they respected the most have to be lifted into bed while screaming about fast-food. It’s heartbreaking. Complex. It’s actually about something other than how in superhero world teamwork saves the day. Every ‘plot point’ and moment tells us something about these characters, even to a fault sometimes. SUBTLE: Logan pulling them jammed claws the way an old boy down the pub with arthritis feels his fingers. UNSUBTLE BUT STILL INTERESTING: making Logan fight the only thing he’s truly scared of- literally the version of himself that blindly obeys orders.

Everyone is SO fucking real. Just *watch* the way Daphne Keen eats that bowl of cereal.

Would highly recommend watching the ‘Noir’ Black & White version. 

mild spoilers: It also features the best single edit of the year, from Laura stabbing the shit out of some dude to a flurry of scattered drum beats in the score... then that piercing animalistic roar rips through and all is silent... she spins.... from this:

CUT to this:

An empty forest, the roar echoes out... a low bass note tolls like a funeral. Something is coming. Help is on the way, but it’s an untamed, ruthless, violent help. He’s near...

No one single cut has ever given me chills like that before.

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square & Picturehouse Central (Noir version)

2. TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN (directed by David Lynch)

Agent Cooper’s odyssey back to the small town of Twin Peaks. The original series of Twin Peaks that aired in the early 90s is often cited as creating ‘prestige’ television as we know it today- your Game of Thrones’, HBO high-quality, Netflix and so on... 25 years later, David Lynch and Mark Frost have returned to kill it. 

Earth-shattering. Groundbreaking. An 18-hour film (split into 16 parts) so layered, so complex i’m not even sure where to begin... and most of what I have to say has probably been written by someone else much more eloquently. 

For the first 9 hours, I found The Return mostly frustrating. I love the original series so, so much (and the prequel film Fire Walk With Me is one of my favourite films of all time). When I hit hour 10, it was like all the clouds in my head suddenly cleared. I ‘got’ it. What I thought I wanted was all my favourite characters back again talking about cherry pie and coffee with that soft romantic filter. Lynch and Frost (the creators) knew I wanted that. They also knew I didn’t *really* want that... because, the original series will always exist. They knew nothing would disappoint more than a soft reboot. The Return is it’s own thing- within the universe of Twin Peaks, and... within the actual universe. Seriously, how can you categorise this? It jumps from screwball slapstick comedy to silent black and white existentialist horror to 10 minute live band performances... what is the point of even trying to categorise it?

On some of the individual parts: Part 3 is a low-fi, surrealist, near silent masterpiece. Part 8 is... ‘Pure Heroin Lynch’ and has already changed TV forever. Part 11 is the most satisfying instalment, fulfilling storylines from the original series in a measured and poignant way. Part 17 is the conclusion we wanted, sort of... Part 18 is the start of a new mystery, and one of the most haunting things I’ve ever seen.

Twin Peaks will change you life.

Seen on Laptop.

1. THE FLORIDA PROJECT (directed by Sean Baker)

In the shadow of Disney World, 6 year-old Moonee and her friends spend the summer playing around the Motels they live in, while her mother Halley struggles to find a new job.

Pastel bright colours. Every person has survived a storm. Explore the wasteland of failed corporate America. Become a child again. The endless spinning of helicopter blades, a constant reminder of what they can’t do- escape. 

Doesn’t ask you to like the characters. Doesn’t need to. Moonee has seen too much. Halley’s anger at herself and her life bubbles underneath every word and action, but she just doesn’t know how to fix it.

It is *SO* achingly beautiful it hurts. I find it hard to even watch the trailer without crying.

For the problems that face Moonee, honorary queen of The Magic Castle Motel, and the impending darkness that’s sure to come, she has the most powerful gift of all- finding hope where there is none. 

‘See, I took you on a safari.’ 

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square & ICA.

DISCLAIMER- things that are not out yet in the UK/I shamefully haven’t yet seen and would likely be on my list too: Lady Bird (further DISCLAIMER i would actually kill somebody to see this) A Ghost Story Raw Phantom Thread War for the Planet of The Apes Coco American Vandal Mindhunter

BEST SCENES:

The third thing I learnt this year- it’s impossible to talk about a specific scene in a film without spoiling it. So... SPOILERS.

The Stairway Fight - ATOMIC BLONDE (directed by David Leitch)

If someone could tell me what the fuck was going on in Atomic Blonde that’d be great but until then I’ll just marvel at how amazing the fight sequences are. Charlize Theron again puts herself at the centre of the progression of American action cinema following her iconic performance in Mad Max: Fury Road (2015). From the first time we see her, lying in an expensive bath healing her wounds and soothing her bruises, we know at some point we’re going to see how she got them. CUE: The 15 minute stairway fight sequence, made to look like a single continuous shot. Leitch and Chad Stahelski (his frequent collaborator and director of the also brilliant John Wick: Chapter 2) are determined to show general audiences what good action scenes look like. This 15-min beauty harkens back to the almost dance like hospital shootout in Hard Boiled (1992), with the rawness and determination of a Children of Men (2006) tracking shot. Charlize Theron (as MI6 agent Lorraine Broughton) fights her way through swarms of henchmen over several floors of an abandoned block of flats, all the while trying to protect Eddie Marsan (who wouldn’t want to protect Eddie Marsan??) Every punch, kick and throw HURTS. By the end, she and the final henchman are so exhausted there’s a sense they might just call the whole thing off- but something pushes them on. Oh, and there’s a 5 minute car chase all part of the same shot to end. Also features the BEST LINE OF 2017. In retort to the final henchman strangling her desperately whispering ‘Take this, bitch!’, she turns the tables, stabs him up hard, then before delivering the final knockdown, pushes her nose to his and asks- ‘Am I your bitch now?’ She doesn’t wait for a reply.

The Eyeless Woman - TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN (directed by David Lynch)

Lynch’s best nightmare.

Train Hysterics - LAST FLAG FLYING (directed by Richard Linklater)

2003. A Vietnam veteran recruits his two oldest buddies, who he served with, to accompany him on a journey no one should ever have to take. 

I liked this movie a lot- just missed out on the top 12 list. The standout scene happens little over half way through, the characters sitting in a storage carriage of a train talking about losing their virginities. It’s the best ‘characters uncontrollably laughing’ scene since The Intouchables (2011). 

The Snowball epilogue - STRANGER THINGS 2 (directed by The Duffer Brothers)

Stranger Things season 2 was super mixed for me. I enjoyed it a lot. Kind of. 

The first series is a perfect little story, with a perfect beginning, middle and end. I god damn *love* it’s characters so, so much. The plot was simple remixed 80s nostalgia beats, but really just a vehicle for you to get to know Mike and Eleven and Nancy etc. Think about how much each and every scene was practically designed to reveal more about who they were. It was so beautiful. Season 2 however had wayyyyy too much plot which was obsessed with itself and how cool it was and as a result left characters with nothing to do. In other words, in Season 1 all the characters had something to do because the plot came from them, in season 2 characters were given plot roles... like, explain to me what Mike did all season before he saw Eleven again at the v end of episode 8?? What did Jonathan’s storyline tell us about him we didn’t already know? Sure, they don’t have to set up who they are all over again, but the best sequels never take for granted we love the characters- they give us new reasons to love them. 

It’s clear to see whose storylines had natural progressions from season 1 and they knew where they were going, and those they had to think of something because Netflix desperately wanted another season quickly. The only original characters season 2 really worked for were Steve and Will. ‘Steve The Babysitter’ was the perfect progression for his character- him voluntarily discarding his Alpha-Jock status, seeing it was all bullshit, now his caring side comes out. Fuck, think how much you disliked Steve all of Season 1 compared to how much you love and deeply want him to be ok at the end of season 2. THAT’s good writing. His storyline was perfect for his character, it kept giving us new reasons to love him. And Will. Holy shit. His descent into Reagan-level possession was the most engaging part of season 2. Basically all of the story came from him. And Noah Schnapp is so damn good. I think simplicity is the key. His story was unpredictable till the last moments, when you realise it was inevitable. It has a clear premise, unlike most of season 2. 

In the first, there were very clear overarching premises from the start- Will Byers is missing, Eleven has escaped from the Lab, the Demogorgon is on the loose. Simple premises that allow our characters to manoeuvre around... Season 2 doesn’t really have one other than Will is clearly still connected to the Upside Down... the Mind Flayer doesn’t really start as a concept till the penultimate episode... Hopper and Eleven living together maybbe?? but we’re not really given enough time with them. Everyone else is left with nothing to do, or something that doesn’t really serve their character... UNTIL THE LAST 15 MINUTES.

The Snowball epilogue was like coming to the surface after swimming laps underwater- I sort of enjoyed the laps but I’d rather just be able to breath. All the self-indulgent 80s nostalgia *plot* is done, and all the characters have interesting things to do!! Steve giving Dustin tips dropping him off, and then that longing look he gives towards the hall. Dustin realising ‘I don’t look like Steve Harrington’ after being rejected by every girl at the ball and dejectedly crying... and in comes Nancy to save the day!! Genuinely one of the most beautiful moments in anything all year (notice how we learn more about Nancy’s true nature in this one moment that anything else she really did all season??) Jonathan nearby keeping an eye on Will and being his helpful self taking the Ball pictures. Lucas ignoring what the rest of the group think about Max and asking her to dance. Will actually going to the ball, acting as normal as he can and dancing with someone!! Joyce and Hopper nervously wait outside and reminiscently share a smoke as they did in their highschool days- contemplating on how they probably won’t ever feel like they aren’t worried about their kids... and finally Mike and Eleven just having a bit of happiness for once- actually going to the Snowball together, a beautiful conclusion after speaking about it at the end of Season 1.

As each moment passed in this glorious sequence, I loved the characters more and more. They aren’t doing anything supernatural or life threatening, but the stakes feel SO much higher than they had all season. It’s real. They aren’t shackled with ‘advancing the plot’, they can just be themselves. And I loved it.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY:

Time’s Arrow, Episode 11, BoJack Horseman Season 4 (created by Raphael Bob-Waksberg)

BoJack Horseman has been the most visually beautiful cartoon for a while now, it’s breathtaking season 3 silent underwater adventure Fish out of Water helped to gain it much appreciated wide applause. Time’s Arrow is a different beast. Genuinely horrifying. A mind cracked into a thousand pieces and glued back together into something resembling crazy paving. The animation is disturbing. Really disturbing. The nightmarish images running through the failing mind of an old woman with dementia. Images of her regrets, the neglect and abuse at the hands of her parents. Memories burn and melt away like plastic in a fire. The faceless humans and constant scribble over Henrietta’s face haunts me. Beyond the obvious sinister imagery, it means something. A puzzle with too many missing pieces to really make out what the picture actually is. And we’ll never really know.

It’s not the first thing that pops into mind when you think of ‘cinematography’, but Time’s Arrow is the best visual storytelling since... the previous season of BoJack Horseman.

BEST PERFORMANCES:

Cate Blanchett as various in MANIFESTO (directed by Julian Rosefeldt)

Originally a critically acclaimed multi-screen video installation in which Cate Blanchett plays 13 different characters, ranging from a school teacher to a homeless man, performing artist’s manifestos in 13 different scenarios. Part of the financing deal was Rosefeldt had to cut a 90 minute, linear version of the piece for a cinematic setting.

NO one could have pulled this off like she did. She’s running on adrenaline and pure bravery. She makes interesting choices at every twist and turn. How does looking at her never get tiresome? Every jump from character to character feels genuine. She blew my mind- I knew I was looking at the same person over and over again, but I also *knew* I was looking at 13 different people. 

A masterclass.

Kyle MacLachlan as various in TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN (directed by David Lynch)

2017 is the year of staggering ‘multi-character’ performances. Kyle MacLachlan’s involvement in the new season of Twin Peaks was basically the only thing anyone knew about it going in. And he is the heart of this season in so many ways. Returning to a character 25 years later must be a daunting prospect, but MacLachlan shows no fear. Not only does he play the pragmatic, joyful Agent Cooper we all know and love, he plays his steely, pure evil doppelganger Mr C, child-like amnesiac Dougie Jones and in the final episode... someone quite special. And he makes it look so damn easy. He is the fabric that holds together The Return.

THE ‘KIDS’ in EVERYTHING

2017 has been a bad year for Hollywood. Ultimately though, it will be looked back on as the turning point. THINGS CHANGE NOW. The old guard is running from their past scared. And they should be scared. Uma Thurman is coming to murder them all. There is no room left for the Harvey Weinstein’s, the rotting core of top-down abuse has been exposed. Brett Ratner can fuck off with his swaggering playboy image and terrible movies. 

What is truly uplifting is who is going to replace them. A new generation of pure, true artists that this year has shone a spotlight on.

The future is Brooklynn Prince and Bria Vinaite, stars of The Florida Project. The future is Timothée Chalamet, whose central performance in Call Me By Your Name is the realist, rawest thing ever. The future is Saoirse Ronan, the next Meryl Streep. The future is Daniel Kaluuya, who has finally gained world-wide recognition for his stunning leading performance in Get Out. The future is Finn Wolfhard, Millie Bobby Brown and all of the kids from Stranger Things, who masterfully manage the horrific pressures of being thrust into the tabloid spotlight at the same age most of us just want to cry in our rooms. The future is Sophia Lillis and the rest of the Loser’s Club from IT (a film with the most oppressively terrible sound design ever yet they still manage to make it fun and watchable.) The future is Daphne Keen, the best on-screen cereal-eater who almost steals the film from Hugh Jackman in Logan. The future is Lucas Hedges, someone with rare human fingerprint over every word he speaks in Three Billboards and last year in Manchester By The Sea. The future is Donald Glover, the most creative, multi-talented young artist alive. The future is Caleb Landry Jones, who’s had maybe the most impressive year, with standout supporting roles in The Florida Project, Twin Peaks: The Return, Get Out and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. The future is Tessa Thompson, the best thing about Thor: Ragnarok.  The future is Michael B. Jordan, Chadwick Boseman, Lupita Nyong'o, all the team behind the upcoming Black Panther film, helmed by Ryan Coogler. The future is Barry Jenkins, director of best picture winner Moonlight. The future is Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Adam Driver and Kelly Marie Tran, the new faces of the most popular franchise ever. The future is Alice Lowe, a force to be reckoned with. Writing, directing and starring in a feature film is difficult enough. She did all of that while heavily pregnant. Oh, and it was her debut feature. It’s called Prevenge and it rocks. The future is Ava Duvernay, a beacon of hope- cannot wait for A Wrinkle in Time, which drops early next year. The future is Sean Baker, the most empathetic filmmaker working today. The future is Patty Jenkins and Gal Godot who have revolutionised the superhero film and inspired a generation of little girls with Wonder Woman.  The future is Kumail Nanjiani and Zoe Kazan, who I’ll follow in whatever they do after The Big Sick. The Future is Jordan Peele, the most exciting new director. The future is GRETA GERWIG, mumblecore queen turned saviour of cinema.

So, what did I learn this year? Well, Agent Dale Cooper is certainly one of the best characters of all time. But most of all: amongst the darkness of everything that’s happened within the film industry in 2017... there’s hope.

The future is bright.

[samcarter34]

Elijah and Marcel, Victims of Narrative

This is a thing that I wrote a while back that I’m moving here. I’m putting it under a cut because it’s kinda long.

Part 1: Where the fuck is Elijah and who is this fuckboy?

Sometimes it's genuinely hard for me to remember that the Mikaelsons on TO aren't the Originals on TVD. Their characterizations are so completely different. 

Ready? Because this is going to blow your mind...Elijah isn't a Niklaus sycophant. He's not obsessed with Niklaus' redemption, hell for most of his life, the idea of it was laughable.

Doesn't that just fly in the face of everything TO is trying to put forward as narrative?

Now, let's begin with the false notion that Niklaus is the most important person in Elijah's life, to the detriment of his other siblings.

To begin with; we look to season 2, when Elijah first appeared. The mysterious Original, with an even more mysterious purpose. Originally, it was presumed that he was working for this boogeyman figure 'Klaus', however, we later find out that not only is he not, he wants to murder the other Original. Why? Because Niklaus killed his siblings and dumped their bodies into the ocean. That to Elijah was unforgivable, and he was going to do it. Bonnie had reduced to NIklaus to something killable, and Elijah had his fist in his treacherous little brother's chest. Only the realization that Niklaus had lied and his siblings were safe saved Niklaus from dying that night.

Then we jump to season 3, where Elijah has been freed by Damon under the assumption that Elijah will turn on Niklaus for daggering him. An assumption that of course, proves correct. But not before we see two very important scenes. The first is when Niklaus proclaims Mikael's death, and Elijah's immediate reaction is to ask why their siblings remain daggered. This right here explains everything we needed to know about the daggering. Elijah hated it, but there was the assumption that it would end at some point, with Mikael's death, which was indeed Niklaus' original intent. Second is when Niklaus reinsterts the dagger into Kol. Elijah is pissed. He hates the fact that Kol's being daggered and he can't do anything to stop it. Until he can, and the moment Elijah has the ability to free his siblings, he does so.

All of them. Rebekah. Kol. Finn. Elijah makes no excuses for keeping one of them locked up, no reasoning not to. After all this time he can finally free his family and he does not hesitate. Furthermore, he makes it very clear he knows exactly who to blame. "I'm learning not to trust your vulgar promises Niklaus," Is what he says. No reference to Mikael or Esther, nor sob story. It's just 'NIklaus you did this, I'm ending it, prepare to hurt.'

And then he decides to leave Niklaus behind. Him, Rebekah, Kol, Finn, they were all going to leave. They were going to find the coffin containing the mysterious weapon and use it as leverage against their tyrannical brother if he dared to cross them. Elijah had no qualms about this, he didn't even so much as speak up when Rebekah announced her intent to murder Elena and leave Niklaus without even his hybrids to fall back on. It was only the return of their mother that stayed their hand. She came back, and they all thought that perhaps they could have a chance, truly wipe the slate clean.

Except Elijah didn't believe it. His exact words were that he found it difficult to believe Esther could forgive Niklaus "After all he's done to destory this family." No reference to Mikael, no sob story about Niklaus losing his way. Again, Niklaus did this, Elijah acknowledges it, and is surprised that the logical consequences did not follow.

Until they did. Esther didn't return to give a new beginning to them, but to bring about their end. Their own mother condemned them as monsters, monsters that had to die. And then, at the end of the episode, Elijah said the words that should have formed the bedrock of TO "Mother made us vampires, but she didn't make us monsters. We did that to ourselves."

That applies to all of them. They made themselves what they are, not Mikael, not Esther. Them.

Then we saw Elijah at the end of season 3, where he made a deal: Hand over the coffin containing Niklaus' dessicated body, and the Originals will scatter to the corners of the Earth. Alaric will follow after them, but he'll never catch them. Elena can grow old and die a natural death, and Niklaus will not be released until generations later, when the Gilbert named is lost to time. Elijah intended to keep Niklaus dessicated for at least a century, or likely even longer.

Hell, even in season 4, the season where the actual Originals started getting destroyed in favour of their TO counterparts, Elijah still showed up long enough to deny the cure to Niklaus.

Why? Because Niklaus is not and has never been Elijah's priority. Elijah's top priority has always been and will always be the family as a whole. When Niklaus screwed up and got himself trapped or hexed or whatever, Elijah had no problem with leaving up laying the bed he made, not if it meant the safety of the family as a whole. That's why he was able to convince himself not to rip Niklaus apart centuries ago when his siblings got daggered, because he was convinced that it was for the safety of the family as a whole.

There was none of this 'redemption' bullshit, or obsession with Niklaus. He took on the role of protector to his siblings, and that's what he dedicated himself to. That was his nobility. Elijah is a vampire, a thousand year old vampire. The worldview he has is completely alien to us, what consitutes good and evil to him doesn’t match up to the human perspective. The only time that was ever really questioned was when Esther called him out on it.

That is Elijah, and that's why fuckboy is a gigantic insult to the character, because he is everything Elijah wasn't. Elijah was content to leave one in a bad way to save all, fuckboy will leave all to suffer in favour of this isane and inane 'redemption' idea. Elijah was cold, lethal and efficient. Fuckboy is a dumbass. Elijah was attracted to sentiments of nobility that he himself strived to, fuckboy has only physical attraction to someone who has none of those qualities.

So, quite simply. Elijah isn't on TO, Elijah's never been on TO, it's always been fuckboy. A horrible misinterpretting of what was a great character.

Part 2: Marcel the victim

Someone once asked a question, something to the effect of 'can't Marcel ever win.' And the answer is, quite simply; no.

He can't, he never will. Marcel is, in the eyes of the narrative, completely worthless.

Think about it, the entire premise of this show is that somehow miracle baby will redeem Niklaus. That he will change because of his child. This-which flies in the face of the fact that horrible people do not suddenly become better because a baby gets thrown into the mix-is the entire point of the show. One that it has never been able to go beyond. However, there was one great flaw in that plan; they'd already created a child for Niklaus. The nameless slave that eventually became Marcel Gerard. How then could they possible say that Hope could change Niklaus for the better when he already had a child and it did nothing for him? The answer they chose? Undermine and undervalue Marcel. We've seen it since the beginning. He was never treated like someone raised by the Mikaelsons for over a hundred years. Hell, even his relationship with Rebekah just screams of separation. They develop romantic feelings because there are no familial ones.

Because Marcel wasn't good enough, he didn't change Niklaus, and because of that, the narrative will forever punish him for it. We've known it for seasons, but finally, they just plain spelled it out.

Marcel: Come to gloat?

[Fuckboy]: Five years ago I was forced to make a decision. Take your life, or lose everything.

Marcel: Yeah, I know. I was there.

[Fuckboy]: Niklaus was faced with a similar decision today, and here you are.

Marcel: And here I am. Excuse me if I don’t express my gratitude.

[Fuckboy]: He’s changing.

Marcel: Oh really? He put me in the same place that I kept him. That’s revenge. So, same old Klaus.

[Fuckboy]: Well, I would say that he would describe this as strategy. But you and I, we both know he’s always regarded you as something of a son. So did I once upon a time. In fact, I used to believe that you were the key to my brother’s redemption.

Marcel: Redemption? He’s never gonna change, not even for his own daughter.

[Fuckboy]: Oh, he already has. She has changed him. You Marcellus, you are not needed, welcomed, or wanted. You have only been spared purely because you are my brother’s greatest weakness. And I cannot show mercy towards anyone who would demonstrate threat towards this family. And if indeed you should prevent the redemption, of the cruel, the wicked, the vindictive Niklaus Mikaelson, I promise you, I will deliver another kind of nightmare.

Look at that statement, that final, horrible, disgusting paragraph. Hope changed him, he's becoming 'better' for her, and Marcel's not wanted because he failed to change Niklaus. That might as well have been Narducci standing there, finally giving text to the subtext that's been there from the beginning. Marcel is a failure as a child because Niklaus remained an awful person. Because in TO, it the duty of the children to 'redeem' their parents. Esther said it in season 2, and now hear we are again.

They needed to make Hope the grand deus ex machina Mary Sue, and to that end, they decided that Marcel didn't count. He wasn't a real child, so he didn't succeed. Because he didn't succeed, he's worthless.

Truly a wonderful message for anyone involved in adoption, parent or child, hmm? And there's also the fact that the black child's treated like an outsider despite all his successes while the white child is treated like a godamned Messiah just for existing.

You know what? I want Niklaus to become horrible. To be even worse than he was. He has a child now, one who will question his authority. Let him murder, pillage and burn. Let fuckboy bear witness to the reality that Elijah already knows: They are each their architects of their own monstrosity, and no child will ever change that. Let fuckboy's entire ambition burn to the fucking ground.

And so, I end off this with FUCK EVERYONE INVOLVED IN WRITING THIS COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT! SERIOUSLY HOW THE HELL DID NO ONE ANYWHERE REALIZE WHAT THE HELL THEY WERE WRITING!!!!!!

[criscura]

Re:Re:Re:Sexualising Genos (sorry)

Hi, same anon, just like to clarify a couple of things @sinsually rebutted. (Sorry criscura I just wanted to clear something up)

You misunderstand me. My response was regarding why people sexualised Genos. I admit wholeheartedly it stemmed from a frustration from seeing it everywhere and I agree, tagging and filtering out the content we see isn’t easy or possible in tumblr. I even used patronising, condescending language that was in no way suited to a conducive discussion.

BUT, I’d just like to point out, my response “what does this say about us” is in reference to criscura’s original post about how we sexualise Genos “BECAUSE WE WANT TO SEE HIM MATURE AND BE IN A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP.” I’d like to raise the same point as you being that we should not generalise the fandom to think the same way. As I said, and I think you’ll agree, some people are just doing it for the jollies. Others may not be.

My main point was: People sexualise Genos for very different reasons and it would be naive and ignorant to say (as criscura did) that it was because we want him to be happy because we use him as a proxy to be happy. 

Therefore, I AGREE with you. If it says something about us, it doesn’t say anything in particular.  Especially not that “we want to see a character we relate to end up happy”. Sexualising Genos is not about that. That is my argument. 

When I bring up canonisation and being ‘in character’, I mean “if you’re going to talk about creating situations to see Genos happy, once you’re out of canon (as many depictions are), you’re not really looking at Genos as a character anymore. I acknowledge this is arguable. Characterisations and headcanons can vary. What I’m trying to say is that criscura’s main point about sexualising Genos being "an easy way for us to see a character we love fulfill some of his desires, and also gives us hope because seeing a character we relate to end up happy despite the odds being against them means there’s a chance for us too” is naive and generalising.

This is what I mean by projecting onto a 'character we love’.

TLDR; I do not agree that this is 'our character’, it is 'your character’ that you are sexualising, that you are 'making happy.’ Often, it is not a Genos I recognise. 

And while I recognise that 'people have their own fan interpretation’ that is not the issue here. The issue is, it is not his desires you are fulfilling, but your own. Sexual, non-sexual, whatever purposes it may be. It’s not that innocent, it’s self-indulgent, wish-fulfillment and all I’d like is for people to acknowledge that.

~~~~ 

((Submission from the Anon who initially replied to my post, answering sinsually’s reply!))

Thank you for sending this!! I agree with mostly everything, except for the idea that sexualizing Genos (or giving him other desires) is only to serve ourselves, and not because we want to see him happy. I genuinely believe that can come from a good place, and it is not inherently selfish, self-serving, or bad. I think, though, that a lot of our disconnect is coming from how we define characters, because I think you bring up a lot of really good points and it doesn’t make sense that we’re coming to completely opposite conclusions given that we have similar thought processes up until that point.

Ah...this...got quite long, and I didn’t mean for it. The rest of my answer is under the cut @////@

I suppose....I can see sexualization as a form of well-wishing because that’s how I see sex a lot of the time--if someone is going out, and they look really nice, I’ll give them a quiet cheer that they get good and fucked if that’s what they’re looking for, and can leave the interaction happier than when they went into it. It’s not because I want to see them having sex--if I wanted that, I would just watch porn. It’s because I want them to have it if that’s something they’re looking for, and because it’s nice to think you can go out and just...have a good time, without anything negative happening afterwards. That might sound ideal or sickeningly sweet, but it’s true, and I approach the characters I love the same way. 

Maybe it is naive to think many other people do the same, but even if it isn’t to the degree that I do it myself, I stand by the idea that it does happen and it’s not self-serving. Although I will concede that!!--I do enjoy seeing NSFW art of Genos/Saitama just on a sexual gratification level. For me, though, knowing that they’re enjoying it is extremely important. Otherwise I don’t want it, and it does seem like it’s the same way for a lot of fans. Of course it isn’t okay to generalize, so it wasn’t okay to think most people do. I....I don’t want to discredit fans though--I really, honestly think that there’s more heart than, ah....”head,” so to say, in OPM art. But again, that could be me being naive, and I admit and accept that.

However, I think...from what you’re explaining, our interpretations of a character--or at least the definitions of a story’s character!--are different, and I think that’s where some of the disconnect is coming from. From what I’m getting, you’re saying that a character is rooted indefinitely within their story, and if they have not been written/shown/described doing something as part of the story, then canonically they haven’t done it and cannot do it. Anything and everything else counts as outside the story, thus not canon, and enters the world of fandom, so it’s not the story’s character but the fan’s character.

Under that definition I would say no, Genos is not sexual and can’t be, because (like I said before) sexuality is absent in OPM (not that I think it can’t exist, just that it’s a huge white space that--if I’m remembering right--ONE has mentioned was left out because it doesn’t affect the main plot at all). It hasn’t happened in the show; we haven’t seen it.

On my end, though, a see a character as their own entity, capable of being able to separate from their story, and one that carries their own story with them. Mm.... I suppose I can explain it as while the way you seem to be explaining characters, the story that they’re part of is an intricate clockwork where the characters are the gears, and each is perfect for their given purpose...unless they are altered in any way by someone who isn’t the clock’s creator, in which case they won’t be able to fulfill that purpose and they’ll jam the entire system, because they didn’t create it and they don’t understand how it’s meant to work. On the other hand I see a story as the open windows/doors into a stuffed building that’s filled with characters that are all doing their own thing, and the scenes we see just happen to be what was visible through the window or door at that moment--what happens behind the walls is open to interpretation, and so long as it gets you from one window to the next in a believable way, then it could have happened that way.

Sorry to get a bit off-track there, but I said all that to explain that I think, so long as what fans come up with is in-character based off of what we’ve seen happen--that they have reasons to explain why they think a character would do such-and-such thing, and not just “I want to see it happen that way,”--then it could have happened that way. That’s why I think sexualizing them, and in turn Genos, is just another way that fans are thinking about him in order to better understand him. Sure, they may make self-indulgent porn, but so much of NSFW art is about what fans think the characters’ wants, needs, and desires are given what's happened in the story. And because I feel like a great deal of the OPM fandom is generally positive, and because it seems to be close to a lot of fans’ hearts, I think they’ll remember to take that into consideration. 

I also said it to explain why I think we agree on so many points, but diverge on that one, and to again emphasize I think what you’re saying is totally valid. We’re operating under different ideas. But like you mentioned!! Everyone is open to their own interpretations and their own headcanons, and that is absolutely okay, because we’re all allowed to freely theorize and wonder about characters and stories that we love. 

OH MY GOSH I reread this to post it and I realized I barely addressed using Genos as a proxy to happiness... I would normally go back and fix each section, but I will admit that I’ve spent about an hour and a half writing this and I’ve plain-old run out of time, so I have to address it in its own section here. Also please forgive me if this is confusing--I’m so tired, but I want to answer fully.

I suppose....I.... I can’t understand why that’s bad, and why it would count as glorifying something shameful. I’m not saying that as an accusation!! I’m not trying to sling that as an insult to make your point seem unaccredited, unfounded, or unreasonable. It’s simply that....well, why else do we have stories, except to relate to them and to have their characters push us and inspire us in other situations? This sounds sentimental, I know that, but if a character is close to us, if we look up to them and think we’re similar to them, why wouldn’t we imagine what they would do in certain situations, and try to act in the way they would? And then to imagine they could be happy somehow, to see that illustrated in fandom or in canon and feel hopeful that we could have the same....that’s why fan art is so popular, isn’t it? Because we relate to it and seeing our favorites be happy makes us happy and gives us hope? That’s one of the biggest reasons why we tell stories in the first place.

Ah, I know I’m rambling, and I’m sleepy to the point that everything is running together in my head, so I hope you know that I’m not trying to invalidate what you’ve said, and I really think you make good points. I think what you’re saying is important to hear, and though I disagree, you should be saying it if it’s what you believe and it’s important to you.

I...I’m sorry, I hope I’ve responded well, and that I’m not just....going on about things that are unrelated. Again, though, thank you for sending this!!! I appreciate it, and all the time you’ve spent thinking about it, I really do. It means a lot to be able to have open conversations like this.