#(future is ~2 years after the show; in which steven is 14 and connie is 12. therefore she is a freshman in highschool in future.

[swagging-back-to]

one of the biggest things that makes me annoyed with connie is just... well everything. but her choosing to spend every second of every day 'studying for college' when shes barely even 15 pisses me off soooo fucking much.

literally abandons every and everything else to sit and study with only 5-10 minute breaks. for college. that she isn't even in yet.

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[papermoonloveslucy]

TV TIMES

June 27, 1965

Every so often a new comedienne is hailed and toasted by the critics and public. None of them in the past 15 years has shown the talent or endurance of Lucille Ball. 

Cara Williams (1) was touted as "the new Lucy." She never came close because the old Lucy was too good for her. Carol Burnett (2) has had some good innings, but is discovering that it takes more than a rubbery mouth and a knack for slapstick to be a great comedienne. 

Nanette Fabray (3) skyrocketed briefly as Imogene Coca's successor with Sid Caesar, but without Caesar both gals found their comedy careers progressing at a very uneven gait. 

Elaine May (4) - of Nichols and May - is more a method actress than a comedienne and hasn't much of a track record without her partner in comedy. Audrey Meadows (5) never found herself as a comedienne after The Honeymooners (with Jackie Gleason). 

Connie Stevens (6) tried to follow in the late Gracie Allen's path of non sequiturs, but her timing is way off the mark. Elizabeth Montgomery (7) rang the Nielsen rating bell consistently this season, but no one knows for sure if she can do it without an imaginary broomstick for a prop. 

Martha Raye (8), who is a veteran at the business like Lucy, is the only comedienne that comes to mind as a genuine competitor in this league. Lucy beats her out in the versatility department because she can play it for the quick chuckle or the big belly laugh. With Martha it's the big boffola or nothing. 

Lucy has that rare faculty for bringing a wild line of dialogue or an almost ludicrous situation into the realm of believability. When she and former husband Desi Arnaz were about to embark on the I Love Lucy TV series 14 years ago, a nervous CBS-TV program executive inquired, "But will people believe she is married to a Cuban bandleader?" 

His fears were groundless. It didn't matter if it was a Cuban bandleader or a bowlegged Martian. Lucy can stare at the most hard-boiled skeptics with that wide-eyed by-golly-it's-true look and convince them of 'most anything’. 

Even within the cramped confines of weekly domestic situation TV comedy, Lucy is able to display enough sides of her many-faceted comedy personality to sustain threadbare plots. As with Charlie Chaplin, the audience savors the technique employed, even though they can foresee every turn in the script. 

At a CBS convention of affiliated station managers in Los Angeles last May, Lucy and Don Knotts posed as owners of a "35-watt TV station" in a short skit which wasn't particularly loaded with laugh-lines. But Lucy in an old blue hat and a wraparound fur neckpiece, and Don in a luau shirt, knew just the attitude to strike. Just their way of standing there was enough to give this audience the message. Sinclair Lewis never said it any better in his novel "Main Street." 

Next season (her fourth without Desi) Lucy will play it minus the kids and Vivian Vance, who wanted no more of TV's weekly treadmill. Lucy may be doing it only because she is responsible for a huge TV production corporation, but underneath that she may also have a feeling of responsibility to a talent she has spent many years developing. It's fun to be the champion, too.

#   #   #

FOOTNOTES FROM THE FUTURE

(1) On the Desilu sitcom “December Bride” (1954) had Harry Morgan’s Pete stealing many scenes griping about scatterbrained wife Gladys (who was never shown on camera). When Morgan moved into his own spinoff series, Gladys was finally revealed in the form of Cara Williams on the initially popular “Pete and Gladys” (1960), a show not produced by Desilu. The program did not last long but Cara came was escorted directly into her own series “The Cara Williams Show” (1964). Molded by CBS as the next wacky redhead to follow in the comedy heels of Lucille Ball, the plans quickly went askew following an unfavorable network power shuffle and the canceling of her sitcom after only one season. With her momentum completely gone, her career went into rapid decline. 

(2) Although Lucille Ball did not give Carol Burnett her first big break (Broadway and Garry Moore did that), Lucy was her biggest fan and the two developed a life-long relationship that saw them both take turns starring on each other’s television shows.  If anyone can claim to be the heir to Lucille Ball’s Queen of Comedy title, it is Burnett. 

(3) Yet another funny redhead, Nanette Fabray was born in a trunk and was more known for her Broadway musicals than her television shows.  In 1974, Lucille Ball cast her in her first post-sitcom TV special, “Happy Anniversary and Goodbye”.  

(4) Elaine May was best known as a writer and monologist. She would be nominated for an Oscar for screenwriting in 1979.  She was best known for performing with Mike Nichols.  Not really a contender to Lucy’s throne, but in a class of her own. 

(5) Audrey Meadows was a real rival for TV’s 1950s housewife as Alice Kramden in “The Honeymooners”. They only problem was that Alice wasn’t funny, like Lucy, but tolerant and in love - like Ricky.  In 1986, redhaired Meadows played Lucille Ball’s sister on “Life With Lucy”.  Although critics admired the chemistry between Ball and Meadows, they hated the show, which was canceled after that episode aired.

(6) Connie Stevens was a sparkling strawberry blonde, as sexy as she was ditzy. At the time of this article, she was appearing in a ABC sitcom titled “Wendy and Me” in which George Burns (as himself) was her landlord!  

(7) Elizabeth Montgomery had remarkable success playing Samantha Stephens, a witch married to a modern-day mortal in “Bewitched”.  Montgomery’s father Robert was an Oscar-winning film director. Her husband was William Asher, who was one of the original directors of “I Love Lucy.”  As director of his wife in “Bewitched” the show often strongly resembled “I Love Lucy”. Montgomery was more an actress than comedienne but she had the most fun playing Samantha’s mischievous twin cousin, Serena. 

(8) Martha Raye was known as "The Big Mouth" and considered the female equivalent to Bob Hope, combing her comedy with work for the USO during World War II and beyond. 

~ INSIDE TV WEEK ~

Monday, June 28, 1965 ~ a network re-run of “Lucy and the Old Mansion” (TLS S3;E22), first aired on March 1, 1965.

One redhead replaced another for the summer of 1965. “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” (a rarely re-run series), replaced “The Danny Kaye Show.” 

Wednesday, June 30, 1965 ~ The re-runs kick off with “Lucy Makes Room for Danny” (LDCH S2;E2), first aired on December 1, 1958.  It was a cross-over between “The Danny Thomas Show” aka “Make Room for Daddy” and “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” aka “I Love Lucy” to mark the fact that “Danny Thomas” was taking “Lucy’s” time slot and ‘moving’ to CBS.  Lucy and Desi did a reciprocal appearance as the Ricardos on Thomas’s sitcom, which was filmed at Desilu. 

The day this TV Times supplement was included in the newspaper, this was the headline. 

[fanfoolishness]

Interview with a Fic Writer

Tagged by @novantinuum, thank you!

__

How many works do you have on AO3?

242 works. The actual fuck??? Wow, me. Of course, this does span about 9 years, so I guess that's not that insane?

What’s your total word count on AO3

549,737! But that averages out to only 2271 words per story, haha. You got me! I think I have less than 10 fics that have more than 1 chapter. I love one-shots, what can I say?

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Oh, you want to get into this? All right. We'll get into this:

The X-Files, proto-fandom, ur-fandom, first OTP ever... yeah, 15-year-old me went. WILD. Many horrible Mulder/Scully stories, and some Doggett/Scully and character study stories as well. Mostly not very good, but with occasional flashes of decent writing. Really had a difficult time writing romantic feelings between 30+ year-olds given a) I did not date in high school and b) was 17 and not an emotionally stunted FBI agent.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - not a huge volume of stories, but definitely some very angsty Spuffy and Spike tales.

Harry Potter - just one published fic (Lupin grieving Sirius), and one with Snape and Harry having a heart to heart I could never quite get right.

Then came the dark times (vet school) where I was exhausted and hard at work for a few years and I thought, horribly, I might have outgrown fandom. Thank god for...

X-Men First Class and the undying love of Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr! I'd never fallen for a slash ship before but my god I fell hard for this one and wrote my first fandom smut and my first real AU (mutants with zombies) that I never finished.

Then.... let's see...

Quantum Leap drabbles!

Two Avatar the Last Airbender fics!

Agents of SHIELD fics, mostly focused on Coulson and FitzSimmons, and super angsty.

Bioshock Infinite sads (god I love writing the sad bad dad)!

And then the juggernauts of Mass Effect (my longest fic to date with 30 chapters!) and Dragon Age, which were endlessly productive and are still productive given the variety of different protagonists you can create, different choices, and different relationships to canon characters. I'm still working on a Hawke/Varric fic in the back of my mind here.

There's one random Gravity Falls fic (wish I could have got a little more obsessed with it, or gotten into it while it aired) of Stan sads, and one tiny Avengers ficlet of a sad Tony and Peter.

There's one Wheel of Time fic! Dammit I wanted Rand and Tam to reunite so much sooner than they did.

40-odd Steven Universe fics! So many SU fics!

One random Schitt's Creek fic of David and Patrick!

And finally, The Mandalorian, with 47 fics. Phew!!!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. The Invitation, The Mandalorian. Din Djarin finds himself in dreams that seem realer than real, reminding him of his loss, but he begins to find a sense of hope again. A promise is kept.

2. The Outstretched Hand, The Mandalorian. Din Djarin is a man of action, but sometimes, the quiet finds its way in. Din reckons with the aftermath of the events of Chapter 14, the Tragedy. (My very first Mando fic!)

3. Not the Sentimental Type, Steven Universe. Priyanka Maheswaran has long prided herself on keeping her emotions in check. But a mother's love can only grow, and sometimes it expands to people she never anticipated. Like the Universe boy.

4. Translation, The Mandalorian. Din Djarin was a man of few words, but many languages. Some might have thought the Child had no language at all. Din Djarin and the Child grow to understand each other.

5. Full Disclosure, Steven Universe. Just as the world begins to recover from Spinel's attack, Steven starts having nightmares. The more he ignores his fears, the worse they become, until he's left with no other choice but to ask for help. (My thoughts on what would drive Steven Universe Future, and I wasn't far off.)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I really try to! Even sometimes years later if I realize I've missed some. I appreciate each and every one, and have definitely made friendships through comments <3

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, hell... I'm too lazy to link these but if anyone wants to read them let me know or find them on my AO3!

A Stopped Clock from Bioshock Infinite has Booker DeWitt ravaged by Korsakoff's amnesia from his long-standing alcoholism. Is Columbia real or imagined? Hard to say.

The Viscount's Way shows Varric Tethras having become his parent, and a cruel, hard viscount of Kirkwall.

Songs in the Key of Red shows how Cullen fared under the dark future in Redcliffe in DAI, and they write happy endings, don't they? shows what happened to Varric. Both horribly depressing in different ways!

Two by Two, Hands of Blue shows a not unexpected end to lyrium addiction :( Poor Cullen, he got a lot of angsty developments, didn't he?

Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever written?

Never really got into crossovers or AUs. Just... meh for me!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, I don't think so.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Charles/Erik, Shepard/Garrus, Shepard/Liara, Shepard/Tali, a mess of different f/f femShep drabbles, and most of my Dragon Age pairings have gotten sexytimes. On the other hand I helped start the NoRomo Mando tag for the Mandalorian to help find non-pairing Mandalorian content. Depends on the pairing and the fandom, for sure.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope, thank goodness!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think so! There used to be a Spanish-language wiki linking to some of my old X-Files stories XD

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but friends and I definitely will beta each others' things to help with sticky points.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

ALL-TIME? Just, why? So many ships I loved in years past turned out to have pretty damn problematic elements I didn't see at the time, so it's hard to say... Mulder/Scully actually has a ton of issues, Buffy/Spike obviously has issues... so maybe Hawke/Varric (except not canon!) or Garrus/Shepard or Brosca/Alistair.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Still need to finish my Hawke/Varric fic for after Adamant! I have 3 chapters written that I haven't posted. Maybe posting them will help inspire me....

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and POV writing from different characters; I feel fantastic writing Steven and Greg, though totally at sea trying to write from Connie's POV, randomly. But I think my dialogue and emotional beats are what people tend to tune in for. When I do write romance, it's usually very sweet and silly and pulled from life. I also love writing nature scenes and settings to help establish mood. Mood and emotion and catharsis are my bread and butter, and I like my poetic prose.

What are your writing weaknesses?

What the hell is a long, well-thought-out plot? Like what even is that???? My longest fic with 30 chapters is basically "Shepard has PTSD and hangs out with her crew. They have some funerals." THAT'S IT. How the heck people actually come up with plot that ties into the lore of a fandom I genuinely have no idea and it's the biggest thing that's held me back from finishing original work. I can come up with a setting and characters and then trying to make them do stuff that's more than just talking to other characters and deepening their relationships with them... how the fuck???

I also definitely have 10-20 words that I am in constant danger of reusing like every other paragraph, LOL!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't speak any other languages so I always avoid it as much as possible. I've seen people describe sign differently in fics and picked one way to depict it that made sense to me for Grogu, but that's about it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The X-Files, of course!

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Towards Another Day, the tale of how Cullen went from being a templar in Kirkwall to commander of the Inquisition, is definitely up there.

Reverberations is one of my rare multi-chaptered fics and one of my favorite for the catharsis at the end. It makes me tear up every time. 5 times Din and Grogu encounter the Dark Side, and one time they find the Light.

Either a world for the birds (Steven develops a closer relationship with his Uncle Andy, learning birdwatching along the way) or on the subject of rocks (Steven and Jasper finally reach a peace) might take the prize for favorite SU fic.

__

Tagging (if you’re super bored and would like a fun thing to do) fellow writers:

@lastwordbeforetheend, @runrundoyourstuff, @honestlyhufflepuff, @art3mys, and @fake-starwars-fan if you would like to play!

[gay-cartoon-stan]

Why the “Corrupted Steven Theory” is more likely than it seems at first

Okay, you probably think that this theory is very unlikely, and it won’t happen in Steven Universe Future. But hear me out, I thought so at first as well, just like I thought the “Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond”-Theory was a stretch. But guess what? It turned out to be true, so I gave this theory the benefit of doubt and now I’m convinced that it could become canon as well!

In the beginning, I was unsure but intrigued by this theory and read some posts. Steven Universe Future means a lot to me, I related to Steven Universe a lot already and kind of grew up with it in the past few years. Now, seeing how Steven deals with deeply rooted problems and his mental health issues hit close to home for me. So, obviously, I searched through the tags very much.

Unfortunately, the actual theories with proof are scattered all around Tumblr with almost no coordination, even within “#corrupted Steven theory” that is full of fan art (which I enjoy a lot btw!!). And I had to search through a lot of posts to see the full picture of possibilities this theory has, so I decided to make a master post for you guys. It’s not that much of a stretch when you put all of it in one big master-post, for those who don’t want to search for as long as I did.

WARNING: This will be a very long post!

Now first off, I heard many people say that this would be too dark for the show. And while this is a children’s show, Steven Universe already had way darker episodes. Here are some examples:

Previous Theories in Steven Universe

I searched for some previous theories for the original Steven Universe cartoon and pulled up a few popular theories from the Cartoon Network YouTube videos. Let’s start off with some of them that were proven wrong later on in the series.

3 Theories that were more based on feeling right than proof and turned out to be wrong

-         Gems start out as babies

-         Sardonyx’s identity

-         Ruby is blind

First off, everyone assumed that Gems are quite similar to humans. Now, these theories were created in the first season of Steven Universe, when we didn’t know a whole lot about Gems, yet. Rebecca Sugar started the show by telling us to “expect the unexpected” like expecting to have Gems be quite similar to humans.

When we heard of a new voice actor, most immediately assumed it to be a new gem or a fusion of new gems. But instead, it was Sardonyx, a fusion between garnet and Pearl. Rebecca likes to explore new possibilities by combining already established things: Like making a completely new character out of two well-known gems.

I think that’s exactly what’s going to happen in Steven Universe Future, this epilogue will deal with big concepts that we already know. It would make no sense to have something entirely new in the epilogue, when we already have some unanswered questions left, like the true nature of corruption.

5 Theories that were based proof rather than “feeling canon” and turned out true (even though they seemed like a stretch)

-         Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond

-         There are multiples of every gem

-         All monsters were once gems

-         Ronaldo’s theories are right

-         Garnet is a fusion

Theories like the one of Pink Diamond were very unpopular and I’m sure almost no one believed Ronaldo in the beginning: they were unpopular or controversial at the time. But all of these theories turned out true, so don’t just shoot down a theory because it seems unlikely at first. On further examination, theories that seem like a stretch at first, actually, make a lot of sense.

Foreshadowing and symbolism about Rose Quartz actually being Pink Diamond were already planted in the beginning, look at the first song about Cookie Cat by Steven in the very first episode for example.

So, even if it seems unlikely that Steven will become corrupted in Steven Universe Future, that won’t stop Rebecca from making it canon. But if she planned it, there had to be a lot of proof for that, too. And there is a lot that could be interpreted as a connection between Stevens, his mental health and corruption!

That brings us to my next point:

 Steven’s Mental health

In the limited series, Steven is shown to bottle up his feelings a lot and has developed some harmful coping habits, as shown in Episode 10: “Prickly Pair”.

Steven is already known for not dealing with his own problems, trying not to think about them instead of being honest about how bad it feels so he can move on, as shown in “Mindful Education”, which was the fourth episode of Season 4, so even before the “Wanted” and “Diamond Days” arcs.

There even is a whole episode revolving around Amethyst trying to help Steven with his feeling about his mother after it’s revealed that she actually is Pink Diamond, but he just keeps reflecting and wants to help her instead.

Now, the synopsis tells us that “as he runs out of other people’s problems to solve, he’ll finally have to face his own” which confirms again that he didn’t deal with his own emotions, yet. So, now he feels lost because he feels useless now in addition to years of undealt trauma. Just look at his monologue in the last episode!

But why didn’t he deal with his own mental well-being yet? Because he’s scared because all of his experience in the last years were very traumatic for a teenager? Not to mention that he wasn’t even 14 when the series started off. Even the Crystal Gems, who are supposed to be way more mature than him, struggled multiple times within the series. Garnet even split up two times.

He’s scared because he doesn’t know what to do now that he can’t help the people around him anymore, everyone around him changes for the better and knows how to help themselves and what they want to do in the future. Everyone except Steven.

 Steven vs Steven

All of his human friends change way faster than he can deal with, so one would think that he could at least relate to the Gems with the struggle of accepting change, right? NO! He’s growing up, he changed in the last couple of years. And while it’s too slow for the humans around him, it’s too fast for the Crystal Gems since they’ve been around for thousands of years.

Even though the whole universe is changing, he still has problems as a hybrid between gems and humans. He struggled for years to fit in with the Gems, while he was always too much “Gem” to be understood by fully humans. For example, even his best friend and his dad don’t include him as a “human being” in Season 2, where he was just starting to be respected by the Gems as a part of the Crystal Gems. So, he didn’t really fit in with either species even back then. Out of stress, it caused him to clutch his gem, also because it is the thing that will always set him apart from other humans.

For years, he could at least relate to Amethyst. They shared a kindred spirit as fellow "worst Gems" who, in Steven's words are "not like anybody". Now even she found her own personal purpose while he is as confused as ever.

 Becoming like someone “bad”

Not only that, in his attempt to be nothing like his mother, since he still has a complicated relationship with her (see: the whole Episode “Rose Buds”), he slowly becomes more and more the person she used to be. He doesn’t want to confront that, but he’s still scared of his new powers that remind Volleyball of Pink Diamond.

But it’s not only her, but Steven also begins to act like the diamonds in general: He ordered people (like Amethyst and Jasper) around.

Just like the punishment by Blue Diamond for Pink, Steven imprisoned Cactus Steven (a metaphor for himself, his mental health, and his problems) with barely enough light to survive. Both Pink Diamond and Cactus Steven didn’t know how to act any better. Cactus Steven was just learning from the only role model he got, but Steven was too angry to try to understand. In Steven Universe, he even tried to understand a literal monster and befriended Centipeetle aka corrupted Nephrite, but now he can’t even communicate with his own creation, sentient humanoid cactus.

He spent years trying to fight the ways the Great Diamond Authority worked, but now he takes after them. And whether he is ready to confront this or not, he can’t help but see how he changes to a person he never wanted to be.

 No Control

He just got new powers that seemingly only Pink Steven really had control over and struggles even more than before. Steven could do a similar bubble, but never actually did it in a symmetrical way or in the shape of a dome, like his gem half could do seemingly with ease.

But since his powers are connected to his emotion (which react to his new and old problems) it’s no wonder that he’s getting out of control. This new pink side of him is linked to extreme stress (or anger) and using powers only his fully-gem half could do before.

We already saw him losing full control over his bubble (trapping someone) and shapeshifting/ageing, where he almost died.

In the first season, he trapped Connie in his protective bubble, which only dissolved after he talked with her. He subconsciously trapped her in there because he didn’t want her to leave again before he got the chance to give the bracelet back.

He lost control over his body a few times, for example, a few episodes after Bubble Buddies when his age-shifting powers get introduced. In a similar matter as before, his gem reacts to his feelings (here: his mental age) and acts accordingly. He almost dies in So Many Birthdays and Cat Fingers because of it.

He already ended up trapping his friends in Episode 9 because of his new powers in connection to emotions. In Season One, he trapped Connie in his bubble in a similar matter.

Next, he could be transforming his problems in himself externally again. We already saw that trauma inside of a gem can manifest in Volleyball as it was explained by the cracked eye.

The creature could be an apparition, something Steven sees in dreams or hallucinations, rather than a physical manifestation at first, but most of the issues in Steven Universe, even if they’re just emotionally, evolved to become something physical. But even though this can be done in a couple of ways, corruption would make sense in Steven’s case.

 Corruption

Extreme emotional distress is linked to corruption as it seems to speed up corruption’s effects. Both Jasper’s and Centipeetle’s mental state affected the corruption process. As the bodies of Gems are mental projections, the bodies of corrupted Gems are a reflection of how damaged their minds are. Corruption’s damage is mental rather than physical, at least at its core.

Just like their emotions affected their body, Steven’s powers got worse under stress. In Steven Universe Future, his mental health is worse than ever, so if he ever got corrupted, it would be in this epilogue series. He’s getting out of control form when he’s distressed or under extreme stress more than ever.

There are no gems corrupted on Homeworld due to the lack of a Diamond blast. But even the other diamonds don’t understand the true nature of corruption completely, they didn’t even know that they corrupted these gems.

But we, the audience, already know a couple things: Second-hand corruption can occur to a non-corrupted Gem through fusion with a corrupted one, while Nephrite described it as a "song" and remembering this seemed to be what triggered her to revert into her corrupted form.

Corruption is linked to the mind of the gem and needs at least one diamond. Steven, who is a diamond, can probably corrupt other gems or himself without meaning to do so. If he loses control of the corruption-powers as well, it could very well be that he ends up accidentally corrupting himself.

But without addressing his issues, he won’t be able to reverse the effects of his subconsciously used gem powers. Pink Steven always worked this way in the past. His gem half reacts to the wishes from Steven’s human half very directly, like trapping all of his friends. And he treated his cactus-self badly, so also harming himself isn’t that far off. He already fought himself quite violently in Steven and the Stevens (which was Season One), but now he got even more problems with himself directly. What if his gem half reacts on that?

 Corruption forms

While Steven’s trauma could manifest in a couple of ways, there are some similarities between the worm-like creature from the intro and Steven.

Of course, it doesn’t completely look like Steven, but consider how humanoid this creature’s face is in comparison to other corruptions in Steven Universe. Let’s take a look at the heads from the others in the corrupted and uncorrupted form.

Nephrite’s corrupted head has a flowing, light-cream coloured mane immediately behind her head that looks like her previous hairstyle. Aside from that and her colour scheme, her body completely changes because of corruption.

Because of the corruption Jasper got spikes from multiple areas of her body now, but her hairstyle only changed to a mane around her neck and she kept the same skin tones.

Ocean Jasper, similar to all Jaspers, kept her colour scheme (aside from corruption marks) and hairstyle/colour even while corrupted.

Larimar’s head always had spikes on top, even though they became more. She still has her blue tones, even though it got a bit darker. Her body changed quite a bit and she got a lot bigger.

So all in all we can say that a gem becomes bulkier and bigger while growing spikes. The placement of the gem barely changes at all. The colour scheme doesn’t really change, but the gem can have corruption marks.

I strongly believe that this thing a corrupted gem, since a completely alien species in the last act of the show makes no sense. Especially with the premise that this epilogue would focus on loose ends and Steven himself.

 Similarities between the Creature and Steven

Only this corruption has a human-like face shape and nose. But humans can’t corrupt, except for Steven. He has the same nose, a softer version of the face shape and is always drawn with 5 hair curves. Instead of that, this creature has 5 horns instead of Steven’s usual curls.

Another dominant feature of this creature is the mouth shape. It’s a sharper version of a squiggly mouth that’s usually drawn when the character is stressed/worried. In the original series many characters were drawn with a mouth like that, but the only character who is frequently seen using a mouth like that in Steven Universe Future is Steven himself. Also, it is drawn quite sharp.

Besides, both Cactus Steven and the Watermelon Stevens are known for a squiggly mouth form like that.

The Watermelon Stevens needed time to even become alive, and even more time until they got a mouth. After Steven send them away and they had to build their own community, they were drawn with a sharp mouth.

Cactus Steven had a mouth, to begin with, it was very curvy drawn. But as the episode went on and Steven got more aggressive with him, it got sharper.

Let’s move onto the body from the creature. It is massive, even bigger than White Diamond, and has spikes leading down his back. A gem would have to be very powerful, to begin with, to be able to become this big and spiky. Our Jasper, for example, was way bigger and har way more spikes than the average Jasper soldier.

Based on the size, I thought about a corrupted White Diamond at first, especially with her pink hue at the end of Change Your Mind. But she’s already on the intro screen, also pink, and she has her gem glowing on her forehead while the creature doesn’t have a visible one. That makes it seem more mysterious like something is surprising to discover here.

Every gem except a diamond had the chance to be corrupted in the original blast. Steven’s gem placement would make sense, too, since you can’t see the stomach of the monster.

Not just the shapes, the colours are similar as well. When Steven reacts to stress, he gets angry and has a new, pink colour scheme. Even outside of turning pink, there are a lot of pink hues used in the scenes that include him.

If he corrupts, it could get a bit darker similar to Larimar’s/Nephrite’s corruption form. And the colour scheme of the creature is a dark pink instead of purple without the blue, dark tint of the intro scene. We can see that if we look at Jaspers original colours and her skin tone in the intro.

 Possible Foreshadowing / Symbolism

The body of the monster is full of spikes that resemble rose thorns. Roses were symbolism of Rose Quartz in Steven Universe. Now it could represent Steven’s internal insecurities about his mom since those are a big part of Steven Universe Future.

Like roses, horns and spiked were used throughout the original series. I’ve seen a lot of people point out Steven’s caterpillar sleeping bag, especially since the creature seems to have a caterpillar-like form. Also, honourable mentions are the horns in An Indirect Kiss and Steven’s design in Future Boy Zoltron looks very similar to the corruption in the intro.

As I already mentioned, Steven lost control at the beginning of the original series since his powers were new to him. His shapeshifting powers got dangerous and he ended up trapping his friend Connie. In Steven Universe Future he got new powers again and loses control again, but just ended up trapping his friends and lost control over his dome-thingy.

If it will be like the original series, he will lose control over his body, too. Next, he would be transforming his problems in himself externally again, just like Cactus Steven ended up as a “monstrous version” of himself.

Steven ended the Great Diamond Authority but can’t seem to defeat a cactus. That’s because Cactus Steven is a living metaphor for Steven himself, his mental health, and his problems. He can’t deal with his own feelings reflected back at him and gets hit in the face by it. Literally.

Another metaphor for Steven is the plushie by Onion in A Very Special Episode, that resembles cookie cat mixed with Steven in a creepy way. Cookie cat was a very early symbol for the backstory of Rose / Pink Diamond and two halves of Steven. It could even move without being moved by Rainbow’s umbrella. A plushie was already an allegory for corruption and it’s most likely is a reference to Garnet’s explanation of corruption: “It’s sort of like if MC Bear-Bear didn’t tear the fabric of his arm, but the fabric of his mind.”

The biggest plot twists in Steven Universe was predicted by Ronaldo early on, all of his big theories except People (Snake People) turned out true. He was convinced by the Great Diamond Authority theory after he saw the diamond on the USA dollar bill. Before that, he believed in Sneople. Snakes are on the other side of the bill. I think that Sneople are supposed to be corrupted gems.

A few episodes in, Aquamarine and Eyeball-Ruby demanded that Steven should destroy his home, bubble his friends, and burn Little Homeword to the ground. Steven didn’t want to do that and won the fight with the gems against Bluebird, but later both of those events happened anyway. So, that may have been foreshadowing to future episodes when Little Homeschool actually gets destroyed. And that could happen if Steven actually self-corrupts and becomes the massive creature from the intro.

The last important thing for possible corruption foreshadowing was that Nephrite described it as a "song". There is a lot of association between corruption and music. It’s clear Steven loves music a lot and deals with heavy themes mostly through songs. Most gems like Peridot didn’t even know what music was at first.

 Plot possibilities

All in all, it wouldn’t make sense to introduce something completely new now. Instead, the show would deal with big concepts that have already been established in a new way.

Self-corruption could be a plot device to represent his current struggles with mental state. It would make sense in the way Steven Universe functions but also for storytelling in Steven Universe Future.

Now, he has to deal with problems he accidentally created himself along the way. He has to deal with his feelings and finally sort them out. But that won’t happen until something drastic happens.

If Steven gets to a point where he corrupts himself, he will need help from others. And the person who could help him the most through that was Connie. She was always there for him, especially in the moments where he struggled with himself.

That would explain Connie’s lack of screen time when she plays a major role later on. If the focus lays on Steven and Connie, they probably get together, too. The Crewniverse teased their relationship already a lot and after de-corrupting Steven, there would be a perfect opportunity for making them canon.

   “After saving the universe, Steven is still at it, tying up every loose end. But as he runs out of other people’s problems to solve, he’ll finally have to face his own.”

After all those Seasons in the original series, this epilogue could show how Steven deals with his problems and that you can’t always blame your problems on someone else. Just as Pearl said once: “[Humans] want to blame all the world's problems on some single enemy they can fight, instead of a complex network of interrelated forces beyond anyone's control.”

 Other theories that are possible and/or popular right now

-         Steven will leave Beach City at the end of Steven Universe Future

-         Steven loses an eye

-         Steven-fusion will split up

 References or sources? (and a few others, but I can’t find them anymore so rip me)

https://novantinuum.tumblr.com/post/189151877094/have-you-seen-the-leaked-trailer

https://novantinuum.tumblr.com/post/188153524489/on-the-corruptedsteven-theory

https://novantinuum.tumblr.com/post/189304112304/novantinuums-corrupted-steven-theory

https://novantinuum.tumblr.com/post/189560459059/find-your-center-your-very-core-remember-your

https://backinbizmuth.tumblr.com/post/189991650603/su-mini-theory-steven-will-corrupt-himself-after

https://drawloverlala.tumblr.com/post/188219448551/hehe-about-the-corrupted-steven-theory-that-he

https://sal108.tumblr.com/post/189160278143/so-about-that-suf-promo-that-leaked-on-steven

https://alexorcism.tumblr.com/post/189801984533/look-im-just-saying

https://lifeiskorrasami.tumblr.com/post/189417484385/ever-noticed-that-pink-also-has-the-horn-spike

https://gay-cartoon-stan.tumblr.com/post/189928744648/is-no-one-but-me-concerned-that-steven-looks-more

https://badartbysomeguy.tumblr.com/post/189928770039/so-cactus-steven-is-spouting-all-of-stevens 

https://somelazyassartist.tumblr.com/post/189688736598/wait-hold-up

https://viibecheeck.tumblr.com/post/189676375245/stop-it-rebecca-what-are-you-trying-to-say

https://celly-does-art.tumblr.com/post/189982116768/some-of-yall-i-dont-think-steven-is-going-to

https://unexpectedchair.tumblr.com/post/189928860906/corrupted-steven-theory-whos-going-to-be-able-to

[shinneth]

Spill the tea on Stevinel (just because I saw one for conniverse) And yes, I'm not on Anonymous. Because I'm a proud stevinel shipper and no one's going to stop me from loving it, also your blog is cool

And you know what? That’s the right attitude to have! People should be free to express what they ship without shielding themselves with anonymity. I don’t blame the people that do these days - antis are fucking dangerous people - but goddamn, people. It’s fiction. 

So I commend you for shipping Stevinel openly and proudly! Hard to believe it’s actually considered a bold and brave move just to be open and honest about harmless preferences these days. 

That said, I’m sorry it took so long to get to this. I felt you deserved an epic, given how unexpectedly successful my tirade on why Connverse is a shit ship with an undeserved golden reputation was...

But the truth is, even though I’m very much a Stevinel shipper, it’s definitely not my OTP.

And it’s very tricky for me to figure out how to spill the tea on Stevinel in a way that’s distinct from me doing the same with Stevidot.

Because, well, let’s face it: these two ships, beyond being very similar in nature, have also endured identical hardships from the fandom.

All the death threats Stevinel fans get from the raging antis for daring to ship something so “problematic/immoral/wrong/not Connverse”? 

Stevidot fans have been treated that exact same way for years. And still are. For the exact same reasons.

Both Stevinel and Stevidot shippers are valid, but the fandom constantly turns a blind eye to Rebecca Sugar’s husband who also worked on the show outright saying gem x human ships are FAIR GAME.

And also turn a blind eye to the recent interview where Sugar herself stated that the gems are more like AI - a conclusion I and many others deduced ages ago just by how gems are portrayed in the show. 

But by god, they’ll hang on Matt Burnett’s word that “grown gems” are a thing even though canon itself explicitly states that GEMS DON’T GROW.

Just like how despite Maya Petersen outright admitting that Aroace!Peridot is just her headcanon, people treat it like the fucking gospel now.

(no offense to anyone who’s committed to that particular headcanon - I just don’t really see it with Peridot in particular and it’s really fucking stupid to claim it’s 100% canon when the source herself explicitly said it wasn’t)

Well, it’s canon that Spinel kissed Steven and he didn’t turn into dust. And Steven was already well on his way down the path of self-destruction at this point in time; he would’ve gone monster whether this happened or not. 

Also, how often does a character get the “heart eyes” expression for just a platonic love?

If there was ever a scene where Connie or Steven had heart eyes, no doubt most of the pricks would scream “YES!!!! UNDENIABLE PROOF THAT THEY’RE IN LOVE!!!”

But when it’s Spinel, suddenly it doesn’t count? Really?

How convenient.

There’s also the stupid idiots who saw the conceptual development of Spinel in that movie artbook and saw some vague color keys during a conceptual stage and claimed that Spinel was “family” to Steven - which of course must mean “related” and therefore must make Stevinel an incestuous relationship! 

Which is bull. Also shit. It’s already common knowledge that gems don’t work that way. She was the designated playmate for Steven’s mother. Nothing more.

Of course, most gems who come in Steven’s orbit end up being sort of a family to him. 

But everyone seems to have this impression that a gem being part of Steven’s family means they become additional surrogate mom figures.

And yeah no, that’s dumb and wrong. Garnet and Pearl are really the only ones I’d consider actual “mom figures”. Amethyst’s more of a big sister. Everyone else can vary depending on perspective, but I’ve never seen any of the other gems as anything close to a motherly figure for Steven. Any time I see shit about Lapis or Peridot being regarded as “gem moms” to Steven, I laugh my ass off. They are so not moms or any kind of authoritative figure for Steven. Bismuth at best is more of the fun-loving aunt.

There are more roles in a family than just a paternal/maternal substitute. In fact, I believe Steven has considered Connie to be part of his family well before they hooked up in canon.

(as a side-note, I love how people who are allegedly SO squicked out by age gap ships totally pardon Connverse - you guys realize Connie was 14 in Future, right? Possibly 15 depending on the time scale? There’s gonna be a point in the relative near future where Steven is 18 and Connie isn’t - why don’t I hear you assholes angst about that “atrocity”, huh?)

I honestly do consider the CG B-Team as part of Steven’s family, but more in a loose sense. But by that same token, I consider Connie as part of the family in a similar manner. 

Especially since Spinel was shoved off to live with the Diamonds after the movie - and the Diamonds themselves have a very fucked-up relationship among themselves to the point where I honestly hesitate to put a familial label on it at all - it’s extra stupid to try and paint Stevinel as something with incestuous overtones when it clearly doesn’t. 

Spinel does happen to be a perfect representative of how full of shit antis are about age gaps, though. 

While Peridot’s age has always been left vague, we know she can’t be 5K or older due to being an Era 2 gem. Due to her utter lack of knowledge of Era 1 events (or being completely sold on the Diamonds’ propaganda) and her general inexperience with her own equipment - as well as her ability to quickly adapt to Earth - I always headcanoned Peridot as being especially young. Like, younger-than-Steven young. 

Mostly because Peri’s attitude reeks of Gen Z - also because it’d be nice for a change to have a gem who isn’t thousands of years old like literally every other noteworthy gem in the show. We need a representative of gemkind who hasn’t been around for ages. 

Of course, Spinel’s backstory proves that even if they went the boring route and made Peridot thousands of years old just like everybody else, it wouldn’t really mean much of anything. She’d be no less of a valid romantic option for Steven regardless of age.

Spinel is several thousands of years old, and the movie explicitly shows us what exactly that amounts to for a gem.

As I mentioned earlier, Sugar sees the gems more like AI. Spinel remaining in one spot for several millennnia, not moving an inch, not speaking to anyone, not seeing anything other than a gradually-deteriorating garden... yeah, and somehow, despite all that, Spinel’s still very childlike per her design. She had literally no room to mature or accrue life experience: Pink Diamond basically hit the pause button on her entire life.

Even though she’s several thousands of years old, through no fault of her own, Spinel’s mindset remained unchanged. It wasn’t until Steven inadvertently came into her life that she became twisted - understandably so after finally realizing she’d been abandoned by Pink. 

But she still didn’t completely lose her true self. Spinel realized on her own that Steven didn’t deserve to suffer just because his mom was a negligent asshole. She also came to understand on her own that unlike Pink, Steven truly cared for her no matter what shit she threw his way. 

Steven could give Spinel the care and attention she always deserved; something Pink totally denied her while deceiving her into wasting away with her abandoned playground. He could be the one to give Spinel the love she always deserved but was either denied or manipulated into believing she got. 

Honestly, this is more than enough to warrant building something more between these two. 

The age gap is irrelevant. The two have chemistry. They aren’t related.

(and honestly, this is fiction - these details are largely irrelevant in fiction anyway. I’m only bringing it up because it doesn’t take much research to find that every label the antis put on Stevinel is complete inaccurate Diamond propaganda bullshit)

Stevinel is FINE. Let people ship it if they want to!

Um... is that good enough?

Honestly, I’m not gonna lie: Stevinel’s pretty goddamned popular; so much that I’m a bit jealous of it. I enjoy the ship a lot, but I’ve been keeping it at arms-length all this time. I’m looking forward to when I can write my own brand of Stevinel interaction when I get to introduce her in my series, but that’s still a while to go. 

Also, there’s almost zero Peridot/Spinel material, let alone my Peridot/Steven/Spinel OT3. And Stevidot material is still hard to come by; I’m noticing Stevinel’s still quite a bit easier to find by comparison. 

So in a way, I feel many other unpopular ships deserve some tea-spilling sooner than Stevinel because Stevinel at least still has a sizable fanbase. Same can’t really be said for a lot of similar ships here...

A lot of this can apply to other Steven x gem ships, honestly. 

But I guess I haven’t been showing Stevinel much proper love due to my devotion to my superior SU-AU. I can only hope I can soon reach a point where I can have GA Spinel react to Steven, since their dynamic will be significantly different.

(and then one day I’ll finally make the Peridot/Steven/Spinel OT3 fic!!)

Until then, I can only hope I did Stevinel some justice here!

[i-lost-my-heart-in-republic-city]

answer all the questions in that ask thing, or go through it and just answer all the ones u rlly rlly want to

Sorry this took so long, but you asked for all of them and Iam very emotional.

1.  What episode of Steven Universe got you hooked on the show?

I started watching shortly after Jailbreak came out so I’m not sure if I can pinpoint exactly where I got hooked, but I think it was around Coach Steven of Mirror Gem/Ocean Gem when it really got me. Although, I will say when Sworn to the Sword came out, that’s really when I knew this was it for me. 

2. Are you the type to watch episodes as they air, or do you just get your fill of Steven Universe online?

I tried to live watch episode premieres as much as I could, or watch them the day they were posted online by CN. I really tried to make an event out of them, and I’m glad I did. 

3. What’s your favorite quote out of the entire show?

It’s really hard to pick just one. Maybe “You have to be honest about how bad it feels, so that you can move on.” - Connie in Mindful Education. Really feeling that one right now. 

4.In what ways has Steven Universe inspired you? 

I really feel like it has inspired me to live. I havestruggled with depression and anxiety since a young age, so it can be hard todo that. Steven Universe gave me something to look forward to, made the world abetter place. When I was hurting it provided me with comfort and happiness. Thereisn’t another show out there that’s like it for me.

5. Has Steven Universe actually taught you lessons?

Yes, oh god yes. It has helped me to be more honest withmyself and with others. I don’t think I would’ve come out to my family if itweren’t for this show. Over the years, it has really helped me to learn to letgo of shame, and guilt, and self-hatred I had carried around for so long. I wouldn’tbe the person I am today without this show.

6. Favorite character design and why?

I really liked Garnet’s wedding outfit, mixing both the gownand tux. I’m a big Garnet/Rupphire stan and it was just great to see them embracethe queerness of the whole situation, and that it was love, something to becelebrated.

7. Has the show ever gotten an intense emotional reactionout of you? (ex - crying, fear, anger)

I’m crying right now about it, does that answer yourquestion?

8. Do you associate any songs with any characters in StevenUniverse?

I associate Can’t Hold Me by Emily King with Stevonnie becauseit was used in that episode, and I love Stevonnie.

9. Gush about your all-time favorite episode real quick.Just go on a long, rambling tangent about how much you love it. Do it. We’relistening.

For the series proper, it’s Reunited. I love that episode somuch and it makes me cry every time I watch it. Growing up I fell into the ‘notlike other girls’ phase because I was not interested in love and romance likeall my friends seemed to be, and I had no desire to go on dates with guys. Irealize now that I rejected these things because they didn’t fit me. I didn’t wantto be with a guy, and never saw myself in any of the traditional media. Ireally am a bit of a hopeless romantic though. Now that I am more confident inmyself, and understand my feelings better, I’ve really gotten to enjoy thispart of myself.

Ruby and Sapphire are the first couple I really got to experiencethis with, seeing them being cute and together and in love, and the wedding isthe accumulation of all of that. Getting to see these two women in love witheach other celebrate that love as the beautiful thing it truly is means theworld to me. After years of watching this show and growing with it, this episodewas the moment were I finally let go of all my self-hatred for being queer. I justknew in my soul that every hateful thing I had heard or been told about beingqueer was wrong, and that this was the truth, love was the truth. It wasn’tsomething instantaneous, it was something I had been working towards for years,but this episode marked the turning point for me.

10. Gush about your all-time favorite SU character realquick. Just go on a long, rambling tangent about how much you love them. Do it.We’re listening.

I already gushed about Ruby/Sapphire/Garnet a little, solets do Pearl. I just love how even after all she’s been through, she is stillsuch an independent spirit. I know her whole past with Pink/Rose wascomplicated but she still isn’t here to let anyone tell her what to do. She’ssmart, and creative, and resourceful, and goofy and she knows these things butshe also has a lot of self-doubt and seeks validation from others. I relate.But she worked through those things and is in a better state now. Even thoughshe still hurts and is still dealing with the trauma, she is so much better.

I also really relate to how she feels about loving someoneand them not feeling the same way/it not working out. As much as I love Rubyand Sapphire’s relationship, I also think I need Pearl. She defined herself forso long by her relationship but she is her own amazing person. Growing up, Isaw many messages about not letting a relationship with a boy define you. Butwhat about a relationship with a girl? I think there can be so much pressure toprove that you’re really gay by always being in that kind of relationship. ThatI’m not truly queer because of my lack of experiences with women. But that isn’ttrue. Being queer is a part of who I am and that doesn’t change just because Iam or am not in a relationship. My feelings can still be an important part ofme without having to define me by my relationship status, just like Pearl.

11. What fusions do you want to see in the show, and whowould you like them to be voiced by?

I would probably most like to see a fusion of Steven andLapis. Her only experience with fusion was her toxic relationship with Jasper.So I would really like her to have a positive experience with fusion, based ofthe friendship and love she and Steven have for each other. I have no idea whowould voice them though.

12. Which episode do you think has the best aesthetics?

I mean Steven’s fusion dance in Change Your Mind isabsolutely gorgeous. James Baxter ain’t a legend for nothing, and I’m gladRebecca held on to that favor from him. Just everything, Connie’s little walkback, the way White Diamonds eyes open, its all wonderful.

13. List any headcanons you have about any characters.

Pearl is in a happy polyamorous relationship with Bismuth,Volleyball, and Amethyst.

14. Favorite arc out of the show? Why?

The Wedding Arc for reasons I’ve already talked about above,but also Diamond Days because it was everything the whole series was buildingtowards. Just the whole message about how systems hurt people who are deemed ‘different’but that there is hope for a better future with compassion and love, and notbeing afraid to share your feelings is something I really needed.

15. Have you ever made any jokes based on the show? Whichones were the funniest?

So many. One of my most popular was this post from way backwhen in early 2016. 

Want a joke for the final? Maybe the real treasure insideRose’s chest was the friends we made along the way.

16. Most misleading episode summary of all time?

I know people freaked out about Rocknaldo because cartoonnetwork promoted it by advertising the appearance of a new gem. I mean, youcould argue technically it was true because Ronaldo made a gemsona, but that isdefinitely not what people took it to mean. I wasn’t really buying it though,cause the title was Rocknaldo. People hate on that episode and I think it’sbecause of the false advertising. It’s really funny though and has one of thebest jokes. “Rock people. They’re putting fluoride in the water supply- Whatthe-They hate men?!”

17. Has Steven Universe inspired any creative ideas ofyours?

I rewrote sleeping beauty but with lesbians because of thisshow. Does that count?

18. If you are a fanartist, which SU character is theeasiest for you to draw?

Not a fanartist, but Amethyst is the easiest for me to drawbecause she’s basically just circles.

19. If you are a fanartist, which SU character is thehardest for you to draw?

Maybe White Diamond, because she’s so detailed. Also, I strugglewith Pearl’s nose lol.

20. If you are a fanfic writer, which SU character is theeasiest for you to write?

Not really a fanfic writer, but Ruby and Sapphire maybebecause I’m gushy like that.

21. If you are a fanfic writer, which SU character is thehardest for you to write?

Jasper. I have a complicated relationship with her, but Iloved her in Future.

22. Have ever practiced voice acting using SU characters? Ifso, which character can you do the most successful impression of?

I don’t practice voice acting, but I do mimic lines from theshow. I think I sound most like White Diamond, hoo boy.

23. Have you ever sang along to SU songs? Which one is theeasiest for you to sing along to?

All the time, in the car, in the shower, around my house. Myfavorite is Here Comes a Thought, because it just helps me so much with myanxiety. The Tale of Steven and Let Us Adore You are definitely in the sweetspot of my vocal range though.

24. Have you ever imagined any of the human characters asgems?

Not really, I’ve more so imagined the gems as humans.

25. Are you big on AUs? Have you created anyyourself?

I like human gem AUs and college AUs.

[joli--coeur]

15 unconventional facts about myself:

1. scary movies are my favorite. but i still get scared when it’s time to go to bed after i watch them.

2. i got into the psychology field, wanting to be a child psychologist, because of things i went through as a child/young adolescent. i want to be a trusted safe haven for my future patients.

3. i’m 24 and i’ve never been kissed, on a date, or anything else. and i’m not ashamed of this.

4. it’s hard for me to connect deeply with people. i want substance or i don’t want it at all. small talk bores me.

5. i would rather have a night in, sitting around talking and laughing in our pj’s, than a night out.

6. i snort when i laugh really hard. which makes me laugh even harder.

7. i cry every time one of my favorite tv shows has their series finale. no shame.

8. i crave warm weather when it’s cold and cold weather when it’s warm. blame it on my indecisiveness.

9. i’ve been a perfectionist since i was a child — always had to be the best, always thought i was the best. now i remind myself that it’s okay to not always be the best or to be the best at all. and to take time for myself and my mental health. it’s easier to improve my grades than my mental health.

10. i’m incredibly scared of heights. seeing anything remotely related to heights makes my stomach flip.

11. as a child, i used to be very insecure about my dark skin and big eyes. i’ve embraced both and have grown to love them immensely.

12. if i wasn’t going into the psychology field, i’d be either an artist, writer, or coffee shop owner. not quite sure.

13. if i were 3 animated characters, i’d be a combination of connie from steven universe, anais from the amazing world of gumball, and tina from bob’s burgers. my kindness, my intelligence/wit, and my quirkiness.

14. i’ve been wearing glasses since the 10th grade, needed them probably in the 8th, but was in denial about my poor sight. i used to hate wearing glasses, now i love it.

15. i’ve been a minimalist for a little over 3 years now — in regards to my mentality, living space, and possessions. and i love everything about it. i feel light. i feel at peace.

[liquidcatt]

Steven Universe characters described by Encyclopedia Dramatica

Note: Don’t take these seriously please. This is meant to be a joke, so don’t start screaming/sending death threats at me because I didn’t write any of these. Please have an open mind. This contains offensive content 

Steven Universe(DeMayo)- The main character. As the bastard son of Rose Quartz, he has inherited all of her powers; such as healing literally anything ever, creating life, possessing people, and others. If you pose a threat to the planet's existence, Steven will still see you as capable of changing; but if you hit on him, you're worse than Hitler. Has PTSD.

Greg Universe(DeMayo)- Steven's dad. He's an ex-solo-musician with cat hair and the poster child for how to fail at life but still get the best girl. Seriously though he met Rose because she's the only person who liked his music. Now Greg runs a Car Wash and lives in a van, so Steven lives with the gems.

Connie- Steven's obligatory love interest. Connie's mom is a doctor and her dad is a cop who works for multiple beaches in multiple cities so she isn't in the same place for long, meaning she can't make friends. Because she has no friends she spend most of her time reading books and looking at boats. This probably means she knows about Onion's status as Satan. [Insert Un-funny Lolicon joke here.]

Rose Quartz- Steven's mom who had to become an hero to give birth to him. Apparently, she can find beauty in anything(even this show's fandom), has magical healing tears, the power to create minions from plant matter, and she used to plant magic moss bent on devouring everything because she doesn't give a fuck. She's a girl imbued with white attire, pink hair extensions and magical powers linked to a gem who had tried to 'heal' the spirits of the corrupted gems and forsaken her physical form because reasons. The definition of a Mary Sue. She's later discovered to be a fucking murderer.

Pearl- She is a smart-ass who thinks she's superior inferior to anything surrounding her. Has an unquenchable thirst for Rose Quartz. She watches Steven in his sleep. Since she can't sex it up with Rose anymore, she'll settle for the next best thing: Garnet. Her weapon is a Spiral-tipped spear.

Amethyst- A Gem that was grown on Earth by evil gems. FAs on Tumblr can NEVER get enough of her because, like a disturbingly high number of characters in this show, she's FA-worthy. Constantly stuffing her fat face (even though apparently Gems don't need food, or drink, or sleep, or air). Used her shapeshifting power to turn into her fursona, "The Purple Puma" and wreck people behind Pearl and Garnet's backs. You learn later in the series that she is Jasper's bitch and has shown to be worthless as hell. Her weapon is a spiked whip.

Garnet- The Leader of the Crystal Gems since Rose died. She is secretly a fusion of two lesbians (lesbians exist in kids' shows now). Her powers include seeing into the future, swimming in lava, and a diva voice. The Gem Homeworld is full of Dixie Confederate Republican gems that didn't like Garnet being Garnet, so she joined Rose Quartz's army to fight for Earth so she could be free to be a black hole of faggotry. The french dub of the show censored Garnet's gayness spawning a sewer flood of hate. Her weapon is a pair of gauntlets.

Ruby & Sapphire- Dwarf lesbians that make up Garnet. A hot-headed red one with fire powers and a cool-headed blue one with ice powers. Completely Original. Can't last five seconds apart from each other. They are the real reason why people started to watch the show and Rebecca likes to milk them whenever she can.

Lapis Lazuli- A waterbender. The Crystal Gems trapped her in a mirror for 5750 years until Steven broke her free. She flew to her homeworld in space to find that if you give a civilization 5750 years they tend to advance. She fused with Jasper so she could use her water-powers to trap herself and Jasper at the bottom of the ocean forever. Fans want to fuck her because tumblr fags think they relate to her 'abused' past. Thus, making her the most overrated and second to boot meme'd SU character and all that cringy shit.

Peridot- A racist who uses prosthetics and jerks off to The Diamond Authority. She used to be a baddie but now she's a goodie because of Steven's selective character redemption powers. As an "Era-2" peridot, she's a shitty millennial whose only power as a gem to be magneto.

Jasper- A roid-rager who Peridot dragged her with to Earth, is Lapis' abusive girlfriend and thinks Steven is Rose Quartz. She fused with Lapis after being jelly that Garnet is infinitely better than her in every way (even though she thinks fusion is for pussies) but Lapis dragged their fused body into the ocean. After separating from Lapis, Jasper became obsessed with fusing with her again, but was thrown back into the ocean. She later created an army of corrupted gems, but fuse-raped one of them and got AIDS.

Bismuth- The blacksmith that made all the Crystal Gems' weapons. She treated the war like an actual war and got bubbled for it. Upon her chimp out in her debut, the fans started demonizing Fructose for having a "black-coded" character be loud and aggressive, and also for stating that murder is wrong. Steven refused to shatter other gems, and this made Bismuth turn apeshit against Steven, attempting to shatter him. Dead

White Diamond- Best girl.

Yellow Diamond- Gem-Hitler. She wants to destroy the earth because killed her baby sister. She is such a boss that even the crewniverse fangirls over her VA.

Blue Diamond- A Sith Lord who refuses to accept the fact the Pink is dead, also a massive emo.

Pink Diamond- Worst Diamond. Only had one planet to her name before Rose Quartz fucking killed her.

Fusions

Opal- Whenever Pearl and Amethyst aren't arguing for no reason, they can perform fusion to "form Opal": a four-armed giant woman; the gems claim that they only fuse when they have no choice but hardly ever do it when they need to and when they do it it's hardly ever when they need to. Fun Fact: Originally they were going to pose her arms to form a swastika as a Hindu reference but were forced to scrap it because culturally ignorant Jews and Social Justice Warriors would have been offended and that can't ever happen. Her weapon is a bow.

Sugilite- Whenever a mission can only be completed with brute force and lots of it, Garnet and Amethyst will fuse to form Sugilite. In exchange for that power the three succumb to roid rage. Is voiced by Nicki Minaj. Obviously the SJ-Wankers were appalled by how obviously racist her character is, which surprised us all since SJWs typically jerk off to and worship the Steven Universe characters. Sugilite's weapon is a flail.

Sardonyx- A fusion of Garnet and Pearl. A gap-toothed cricket who apparently works at a casino. Pearl lies to Garnet so they keep having to fuse into her, because she enjoys how it feels, causing Garnet to get butthurt and ignore her for several episodes until Pearl basically admits to being a worthless cunt who can't do shit on her own. Her weapon is a giant hammer.

Malachite- The Lapis-Jasper fusion that dragged it's horrid form to the bottom of the sea to save the C-Gems, getting kinky with each other with whatever shit they find down there to pass the time. It ultimately got it's shit wrecked by Alexandrite.

Stevonnie- The accidental shota/loli fusion of Steven and Connie who frequently suffers from hallucinations brought on by Steven's own mental instability, initially thought to be Connie's fighting 'skills' being overwhelmed by her edgy 14 year old mind, being the downward spiral moment of the series if it had any upping points.

Smoky Quartz- A fusion of Steven and Amethyst. A ripoff of sardonyx. This fruit is such a shit waifu that 4chan straight up gave up on fapping to every gem in this show. Immediately, Tumblrites started drawing the most disgustingly obese incarnations of him that could exist, doubling the demand in Clorox bleach. His weapon's a yo-yo. No jokes, he flings a giant yo-yo at his enemies to attack.

[agemintherough]

Revisiting Chapters Twenty-Two, Twenty-Three, and Twenty-Four of Gems Without Measure; A Pirate’s Treasure

Man, it's been awhile since I have done one of these. I have a lot to talk about with this batch, so let's jump right into it:

2) The gold exchange conversation is practically lifted word for word from canon. It was just too perfect of a Nami moment to change at all. If it isn't broken, don't fix it.

3) Okay, this was one of the hardest things for me to write: Connie and Steven on a date. I have mentioned before that I do not care to write or attempt romance, but this was important for me to do: the last perfect moment before Steven's world goes to hell. Steven and Connie have the potential to be one of the best couples in modern animation right now, but they are twelve and fourteen. I personally do not believe that you cannot have a real relationship that young, but they are definitely more than friends. They are the best of friends...jam buds, if you will.

I wrote all of the Steven/ Connie material first and wrote everything else around it. As I was doing so, I kept sending CyanideOreo what I was working on for feedback, specifically making sure that this fit the characters without getting any form or real kid romance. I was assured that this read more as a "Disney Romance," which is a perfect fit. 

I did, however, draw on the early dates and special moments that I shared with my wife to make it somewhat accurate (in the same way that I used my thoughts about relationships in the previous chapter with Greg). Walking around through the nearby historic village has always been a wonderful time for us, especially when they have art fairs or other activities.

4) I am sure most of you have seen this great artwork based on this moment made by @cyanideoreo, but did you pick up the significance of what Steven and Connie were eating? Raspberry ice and cake was the order Mary Poppins placed at the Penguin Cafe in the sidewalk chalk drawing world (in addition to some tea) during the song "Jolly Holiday." This, of course, is subtle foreshadowing of where this date is going to go by the end of this chapter.

5) The only comment I am going to make about the newspaper article (which has been a small, rarely mentioned subplot since the end of the Davy Back Fight is that it is important and that there is a major clue about what is going to happen in the somewhat near future.

6) A coworker of mine had students create masks for a project of “The Masque of the Red Death.” They have been hanging up in her room all year. While there are quite a few interesting designs, my favorite was the mask that was a pack of cards, glued together and fanned out with eye holes cut into it. I put it in the story as one of the masks seen in the "mask game."

7) Kaku calling the Straw Hats "youngsters" was my way of getting the gag where he has an older voice than the characters expected without it being random. 

8) Eirney is a character that jmr46718 and I developed in our discussions about the story over a year ago. We thought that Kalifa could benefit from having a sister, especially since she doesn't do much in-universe except follow her job description...

However, Iceburg's reactions to having no idea who she was is supposed to lampshade that this is one of the only original characters in this story. 

9) Steven and Connie, of course, sing "Jolly Holiday" from Mary Poppins. The only thing worth mentioning is I changed one part of the lyrics. I removed "You'd never think of pressing your advantage. Forbearance is the hallmark of your creed" with "You always treat me right with proper kindness. You're goofy, funny, charming; yes, indeed." I did this because this date is too innocent for any kind of "advantage" that could be overtaken.

Also, I couldn't NOT make the AGITR connection.

10) As several people guessed, the events of “Steven Floats” happen earlier than expected! Of course, nobody expected it to be because of a tiny kiss! I honestly imagined this scene to be like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer's reindeer games sequence where Clarice kisses Rudolph and he flies while yelling "She thinks I'm cute!"

11) Steven is witnessing the scene from next chapter where the Gems and Nami come across a battered Usopp.

12) When I first posted this chapter, I messed it up and forgot that Steven's fall correlated to his negative emotions and went straight to him needing to stop by using his positive thoughts of the Gems (but not Rose).

13) Oh look! Two new characters! Nero is...well, there is a character in One Piece named Nero! I wonder if they are the same character? The other one, Apollo, is a mink, which was only introduced properly in One Piece two years ago. I am sure that they served their purpose after catching Steven. Boy, wasn't it nice that they pointed the kids in the right direction after seeing Steven's gem?

14) I wonder why Eirney is so interested in what a Gem is. Maybe she likes gemology? 

15) Remember that Amethyst is wearing a redesigned dress that I created for her back in AGITR. As such, she is better concealed than the canon outfit she would be wearing at this point. One of the first things that was decided was to have Paulie wish that the other characters would stop being so shameless and be more like Amethyst, who would pick up on that immediately and use it for laughs. This is the beginning of this gag.

16) Picking right up from Chapter Twenty-One, Peridot is leading the charge to figure out where Robin disappeared to. We are knee-deep in Peridot's story arc of figuring out who she is and where she belongs. Keep an eye on her throughout this section: she may yet have an important role to play.

17) Again, a lot of setup from this chapter is taken from canon. It is necessary to keep the emotional integrity from this section. However, the key new addition to this scenario is Amethyst. This is basically an extension of her character development that began in "Tiger Millionaire" and "Maximum Capacity" that did not conclude until "That Will Be All."  She is feeling a major lack of self-respect and now sees Usopp as a kindred spirit. It honestly wasn't something I had planned initially, but it made a lot of sense and tied into the plot in an organic way that builds upon what came before and what will happen moving forward. 

18) This is the first legitimate acknowledgement of the radically different levels of violence that both shows possess and I think it's important to acknowledge it. Obviously it makes people like Greg and Pearl uncomfortable, but that doesn't change the people. Luffy is an amazing guy, but he isn't afraid to beat the crap out of you if push comes to shove. Amethyst recognizes that and accepts it far easier than Pearl, who is still struggling with the radically different dimension (but not for lack of trying, as we all know change is HARD for Pearl).

19) Speaking of, I thought the point of giving Greg a Devil Fruit was to make him useful, not to just sit around and do nothing! What gives?

20) Since the first strike in the Franky House isn't necessarily considered a quintessential Luffy moment like, say, the storming of Arlong Park, and more of a Straw Hat moment, I felt comfortable with letting Pearl give the first strike. 

21) Peridot beating the guy (who was already down since she did not engage in combat at all) is deliberately my Batman Begins "SWEAR TO ME!" moment. I initially had her say just that, but it took me out and made it too blatant. That being said, Peridot trying to be as intimidating as Batman is hilarious.

22) I debated on having Chapter Twenty-Three end with Usopp's declaration for the duel, but I felt it made Chapter Twenty-Four stronger by leading us to that through the loss of Steven's innocence as his perfect day gets shattered at the last moment. This is why Steven does not appear outside of the small mention of him floating.

23) Dramatic Irony is such a great literary device. Literally every scene with Steven and Connie is deliberately the happiest thing in the world solely because it has to end in tragedy.

24) The masks were designed by CyanideOreo two chapters ago. That's what I call great collaboration! 

26) The beat that Connie and Steven are marching to is "Colonel Hathi's March" from The Jungle Book. 

27) I debated about Stevonnie appear in the first part of the date, but I decided that their appearance was the perfect final moment for the innocence of the kids to remain intact.

28) Peridot discussing objectivity is important as she truly believes in it, as shown in “Message Received.”

29) The whole emotional/ color power was first glimpsed back in Chapter Twelve when Steven found Noko. I wonder what that could be?

30) jmr46718 was the one to come up with the idea to have Steven have his own duel with the Gems which is the culmination of all of Pearl's attitude problems. Originally, Amethyst would have been involved too, but I decided to make her decidedly empathetic to Usopp, so I limited it to Garnet and Pearl.

31) Steven has quit the Crystal Gems! I wonder what the new status quo is going to be now? 

[sharethisgemwithme]

“Adventures in Light Distortion” instant reaction

[Written on January 8-9. I was blind to this episode and the whole remainder of the Bomb, with the exception of tiny leaks and Youtube screenshots. Comments related to those spoilers are footnotes, marked with [#].]

Oh man, what a title. You see, the emphasis makes all the difference. Is it light distortion, as in little itty-bitty lies? After the previous episode, what further lies would we be telling? Or is there really the chance the gems are going to tell half-truths to Dr. and Mr. M and bring *Connie* along on this mission?!? Please oh please. Or, since the gems are light constructs, is it light distortion, as in the bending of light rays and such. And "Adventures in"... as in plural? I mean, obviously, the gems are going to chase after Blue Diamond. Are we going right to Homeworld? Are we doing this, for real? 'Cause sign me the hell up. Now, the gems have a ship, and I am 99% sure Pearl knows how to fly it because Pearl knows how to fix, operate, drive, or fly anything she damn well wants to, so we're about to find out just what it's like when the Ruby ship goes zoooooom [1]. I don't remember which is third, "Gem Heist" or "The Zoo", but whenever we meet up with Greg again (presumably at the zoo), are there other types of aliens there? Are there other gems? [2]

I'm spacing out the episodes, not chomping them all down at once, to give myself time to think about them. However, only the first episode remains available on VOD, so I'm watching tonight's via DailyMotion (the first place I saw that has the entire episode available in one video). So timestamps are those of the DM video, which has the intro begin at 0:09. As always, though, I’m watching straight through with no pauses or rewinds.

0:09 - Time to find a way. 0:32 - Hilary and Lauren tonight. (they fixed the title card, this was a Raven & Paul episode) 0:42 - Aww, no more Amethyst ponytail. 0:49 - Oh man, Pearl's losing her shit quickly. 0:59 - "Turn into a chair. I need to sit down." Wow. 1:17 - "That might be it." The zoo. Oh boy. 1:31 - Steven's like "are you fucking kidding me? a human zoo." 1:45 - Digging this music btw. 2:03 - Pearl going cross-eyed. 2:19 - "We're not coming back without Greg." That didn't sound as intimidating as I expected. 2:35 - They already flew on this, it should be OK. 2:55 - Aww. "Protect Beach City." 3:09 - "Bending reality." 3:26 - Lapis looks utterly thrilled about protecting BC. 3:42 - We're just totally handwaving all the oxygen issues. 3:53 - "Space turbulence"? Oh come on. 4:12 - WHAT ARE THEY ALL DOING IN THE SAME PLACE? 4:19 - "We should really do something about them." Ya think? 4:35 - It doesn't work that way. BTW, Greg's 40. Note to self. 5:03 - That doesn't sound good. 5:14 - NOT A GOOD DECISION, STEVEN. Maybe brace yourself before someone else hits the button. 5:35 - LOLOLOLOLOLO OH BOY. 5:50 - Oh my god, this is like almost chibi-size. 6:06 - "In what way is this funny?" EVERY WAY. 6:30 - I guess that makes sense. 6:41 - But they shouldn't all be the same size, so that's not really gonna work. 7:04 - I guess we're gonna spend the whole episode en route. 7:13 - STOP JUST MASHING BUTTONS, DUDE. 7:26 - Oh good, a big red X. That's never a bad sign. 7:31 - OH THAT'S NOT A BAD SIGN AT ALL. They just poofed? 8:07 - You might wanna get out of warp speed now. 8:31 - You can do it! 8:55 - Oh boy. Don't do this to yourself, Steve-o. 9:14 - Don't you goddamn dare do this "future vision" thing to me, here. 9:40 - HEALING TEARS? streaming back towards the gems. 10:23 - I guess, uhh, that makes sense. "Don't think too much about it." Don't worry, I won't. 11:04 - Time for stuff to happen! Next time... 11:20 - So is this Homeworld? Or are we still not quite there?

INSTANT REACTION - So it was the distortion of light we were dealing with, and honestly that was the kind of... not quite body horror, but body manipulation certainly that we would expect from a Paul & Raven episode, not a Hilary & Lauren. [N.B. I read several days later that this was in fact actually a Paul/Raven episode, and the title card was incorrect, so that makes sense] I'm a little embarrassed that the idea of Peridot and/or Lapis coming along never even occurred to me, but they were written out of the arc anyway. Steven's conversation with Connie was pretty curious, though. I wonder what she was saying on the other end of the line, but I really think she wanted to come along (as much of an absolutely terrible idea as that would probably be). We got a little more conclusive timeline. Greg would be turning 110 in 70 years, ergo he's 40 now, so he was 26 when Steven was born. Since he's "known the gems since [he] was 22", that means he spent about four years courting Rose. I know that I said "healing tears" above, and I am realizing now after the fact that Steven doesn't have healing tears, but rather healing spit. However, there really did seem to be SOMETHING there in him crying about making all these mistakes, and his tears streaming to the back of the ship. I could've sworn some landed on the gems. Obviously, since I've only watched the episode once, and in real time, I can't be sure about that (or if any of the gems were actually cracked as Steven feared, but I doubt that). At 9:14, I was briefly afraid that, with Steven monologuing how he's made so many mistakes and why couldn't he just trust Garnet's warning and now he's lost everyone, we were going to have a future-vision fake-out and reset back to the stairs outside the beach house, 4 minutes into "Dream". I would've been fucking PISSED if that had happened (side note: I've read a number of fan theories/jokes about how the last scene of the whole series is going to be Rose asking Garnet whether she should go to some concert on the beach, and that the entire series has been Garnet's future vision of what will happen if she does. It's cute, but entirely violates what little we do know about future vision), because it would've wiped away an entire episode, taken away Steven's agency to make his own decisions, and just been a fucking hack move. I'm glad that wasn't the case. I've said in the past that realistic astrophyics was never a strong point of this show, starting from the illogical gravity in "Laser Light Cannon", but I'm STILL peeved at the stereotypical asteroid belt (and though I'm amused at the trio of Rubies--I saw the first one was Navy, didn't catch who the other two were--there's no way they should all be together). That said, I appreciated the metaphorical dropkick they delivered to faster-than-light travel ("Don't think too much about it.")

SECOND WATCH THOUGHTS: Pearl's side-eye at "Back when I still served... Homeworld." WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, WOMAN? Seriously, Connie had some plan to go with Steven, or at least to do something. It's a longshot, but I'm calling it now: we are going to hear from Connie somehow before this arc is over. Pudgy, ruby-shaped Pearl is adorable. I see the really huge setting on the Roaming Eye showed up on the slot-machine-looking display as ♦ ♦ ♦ OK, doesn't seem to be any structural issues for the gems at any point while warping. That whole segment is really trippy though. As someone with minor eye issues that occasionally lead to double vision when my eyes are out of focus, it was really disconcerting. I feel like Steven's monologue is one part addressed-to-kids "Hey, when stuff around you is going poorly, you can make some rash and desperate decisions, but please don't think the original stuff is also your fault" and one part actual plot set-up, but I can't make out what it is. Whoops on the Rubies; the first one was Doc, followed by Army and Navy. That leaves Leggy somewhere off in the distance.

[1] - one of the screencaps Youtube spoiled for me was titled "Traveling faster than the speed of light" or something like that, so, yeah I'm pretty sure we'll get to see that. [2] - via tumblr posts that didn't get immediately hidden, or the tags that remained, I know there are a bunch more gems to meet. I'm still hopeful that at least a few of the Youtube screencaps were fanart, but... we'll see.

[curlyhairedclarinetist]

Anyone getting sick of these yet?

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? - Most of the time, it's open. 2: Do you take the shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotel? - No, but my mom does. 3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? - Tucked in. My fiancé doesn't tuck them in and it drives me nuts. 4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? - Nope. I'm as square as can be. 5: Do you like to use Post-It notes? - Just for little things like grocery lists. I'll write bigger stuff on my white board. 6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? - Does pulling coupons out of those dispensers at the grocery store count? Cuz I do that all the time. 7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? - Aaah, I'd rather not do any of that! Maybe a bear? So it's one-on-one...Does playing dead actually work? 8: Do you have freckles? - No, but I think they're beautiful. 9: Do you always smile for pictures? - Unless I'm told we're doing a serious pose, yes. 10: What is your biggest pet peeve? - Lip smacking. 11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? - No. My phone does that for me. I used to, back in the days of marching band. 12: Have you ever peed in the woods? - No. Although I'm gonna have to soon since I'm going camping this summer. 13: What about pooped in the woods? - See previous answer. 14: Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? - Literally all the time. 15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? - Not anymore. 16: How many people have you slept with this week? - Zero. 17: What size is your bed? - Full 18: What is your song of the week? - "Eating Food in the Shower" by Ninja Sex Party, and although I can't explain it, I've been diggin' "Don't Lose My Number" by Phil Collins. 19: Is it OK for guys to wear pink? - Why wouldn't it be? 20: Do you still watch cartoons? - All. The. Time. 21: What’s your least favorite movie? - I dunno. I guess Howard the Duck? 22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? - If I had some, I wouldn't post online where I'd hide it... 23: If you’re a girl, bra size? If you’re a guy, pants size? - Uh, why is this a question? Next please. 24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? - If anything, it's just ketchup. 25: What is your favorite food? Spaghetti. But tacos are a close second. 26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? - The ones that come to mind right away are: The Breakfast Club, Nightmare Before Christmas, Miss Congeniality, Legally Blonde, and pretty much any musical and any Disney movie, 27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? - My mom. 28: Were you ever a Boy/Girl Scout? - Girl Scout. Didn't do anything though. 29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? - Again, why does this need to be a question?! But no. 30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? - I dunno, a couple years ago? I wrote a card to my fiancé. 31: Can you change the oil on a car? - No, but I could probably learn if push came to shove. 32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? - Nope. 33: Ever ran out of gas? - No, but I came close a couple times. 34: Favorite kind of sandwich? - Chicken salad, frisco melt, or Philly cheesesteak. 35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? - Either bacon or cereal. 36: What is your usual bedtime? - I wish I had the discipline to sleep before midnight, but it's always 1-2 am. 37: Are you lazy? - EXTREMELY. 38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? - Usually a witch. As I'm getting older, I usually dress up as my favorite fictional character. Last year, I dressed as Connie from Steven Universe. 39: What is your astrological sign? - Scorpio 40: Are you horny? - Not right now... 41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? - Nope. I used to though: People, Entertainment Weekly, and Food Network. 42: Which are better, Legos or Lincoln Logs? - Legos? I dunno, I don't really play with either. 43: Are you stubborn? - Sometimes. 44: Who is better…Leno or Letterman? - Um, I've never watched either so I can't say... 45: Ever watch soap operas? - No. But I remember them being on while my friend and I were at her grandparents house. 46: Are you afraid of heights? - A little. 47: Do you sing in the car? - Loud and proud! 48: Do you sing in the shower? - I used to, but then I found out my parents could hear me. 49: Do you dance in the car? - If I'm stopped at a light or in slow traffic, yeah. 50: Ever used a gun? - Water guns, Nerf guns, all the time. An actual gun, no, 51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? - It was either when I got my drivers license picture retaken when I turned 21, or when I got my passport picture taken. Does that count? 52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? - Some of the older ones, but that's why I love them. 53: Is Christmas stressful? - Sometimes. What's stressful is dealing with all the crowds and sold out everything. 54: Ever eat a pierogi? - Yeah. They'd serve them in my dorm's dining hall about every other week. 55: Favorite type of fruit pie? - Apple. Lemon meringue is a close second though. 56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? - Embarrassing childhood story time! I wanted to be a model, but I specifically wanted to be a model on game shows that showed off the prizes. 57: Do you believe in ghosts? - Yes. I've had a couple encounters. 58: Ever have a deja-vu feeling? - All the time. 59: Take a vitamin daily? - No. I try to but it never lasts more than a week. 60: Wear slippers? - Yes! I got these cute ones at the Disney store but they're starting to fall apart. 61: Wear a bath robe? - Yes! I don't like towels, and I will pack bath robes with me when I travel. 62: What do you wear to bed? - T-shirt and sweatpants. If it's warm, t-shirt and boxers (yes, I like wearing men's boxers as pajama shorts) 63: First concert? - Peter, Paul, and Mary. 64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? - I shop at Walmart most, just cuz is closest to my house. I like the other two if I'm nearby, which is rare. 65: Nike or Adidas? - I have no preference, but I wear Nike more. 66: Cheetos Or Fritos? - Cheetos. 67: Peanuts or sunflower seeds? - Both are good. I guess right now I have a peanut craving, so I'll say peanuts. 68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? - No, but I'll look them up sometime. 69: Ever take dance lessons? - When I was really young, yeah. From about ages 5-10. I had to stop cuz the studio I went to went out of business. We looked for others but they were either really expensive or we just flat out didn't like the people there. 70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? - A computer engineer. That is his major... 71: Can you curl your tongue? - Yes. 72: Ever won a spelling bee? - Yep, in 8th grade. Didn't get far after that, lol. 73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? -Yes. All the time. 74: Own any record albums? - No, but my dad does. 75: Own a record player? - Yes. 76: Regularly burn incense? - No. Just candles. 77: Ever been in love? - Yes, and I still am. 78: Who would you like to see in concert? - Pentatonix and Ninja Sex Party. 79: What was the last concert you saw? - Weird Al. It was an awesome concert!!! 80: Hot tea or cold tea? - Both are fine. 81: Tea or coffee? - Again, both are fine. I just drink coffee more. 82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? - Sugar cookies. 83: Can you swim well? - Kinda. I mean, I know how to not drown but I wouldn't join a swim team or something. 84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? - Yes. But if we're still talking about swimming, then no. I have to hold my nose underwater. 85: Are you patient? - Most of the time. 86: DJ or band, at a wedding? - Both are good. I'm thinking I might have a band at mine. 87: Ever won a contest? - Spelling bee, see above. Besides that, I've won a hula dancing contest at summer camp. 88: Ever have plastic surgery? - Nope. 89: Which are better, black or green olives? - Black olives. 90: Can you knit or crochet? - No. 91: Best room for a fireplace? - Probably living room/family room. 92: Do you want to get married? - Yes, and I will be next year. 93: If married, how long have you been married? - Not married yet. 94: Who was your HS crush? - I've always had crushes on friends. The 3rd time is the one that actually worked out. See question 92. 95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? - No, I usually just pout lol. But I'm used to not getting my way. 96: Do you have kids? - Not yet. 97: Do you want kids? - Someday. I want 2-3. 98: What’s your favorite color? - Pink. 99: Do you miss anyone right now? - My fiancé and my best friends.