#(for context here the reason i want this so bad is bc my brother is obsessed w cars it's just a thing in my family)

[teenagefeeling]

DUDE IM SO TEMPTED TO JUST IMMEDIATELY IMPULSE BUY THIS

[octopotto]

Honestly,my favorite type of yandere content involving Silver is mostly Lillia 'convinces' MC to date him.

Like Silver gets rejected after confessing cause Mc like them as a good friend/brother. It's not longer after MC comes up to him says they were wrong, and they do love him.

Can't decide if Silver would be suspicious or if he thought MC was probably just nervous about the idea of dating him. So they stsrt dating, but Mc seems more awkward and stiff about it. Silver could mention this to Lillia, and next thing Silver knows, MC is trying to relax more around him.

For context: Yan! Silver Hc's

Anon I totally agree with you!!

The only reason why the Silver headcanons kinda works is literally because of Lilia’s bullshittery lmaooo

I’m gonna be honest, when I was writing the yandere headcanons for Silver I went “Is this even yandere???” I was re-reading some of the points and they didn’t give any yandere vibes, only regular headcanons.

I was trying to find ways to ‘intensify’ the ‘yandere’ in Silver BUT IT WASNT CLICKING— IT WAS SOO OOC FOR HIM THAT I WAS SO FRUSTRATED. It was giving “The math AINT mathing here” vibes 😭

TW: SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7, NOT PROOF-READ, Yandere, obsession, threats used against the reader, Silver is more yandere in this one lmao, Lilia is a platonic yandere for Silver's happiness.

———

Can you imagine sulking inside of your dorm room, upset that yours and Silver's relationship won’t be the same anymore because of the rejection.

When all of a sudden you see a figure outside of your window, hanging upside down while crimson-eyes looking directly into your soul. 

Bro bout to make me act up fr ���💀

Let’s be real here, Lilia is not afraid to use extreme measures to make his lil’ bat happy. 

And what better way to make Silver happy than bringing a most certainly regretful, magicless, and defenceless prefect back into his son’s arms where they belong? How about them apologizing for rejecting him and that they would be more than happy to be his lover? Singing praises to him and chanting ‘I love you!’ over and over again like it would save theirs and a certain feline-beast life? 

Oh wouldn’t that be the cherry on top for his dear son and future daughter-in law?

“Oh Silver! What do you mean they’re nervous when they’re with you? They’re probably just soo happy to finally be with you, son! It’s just a symptom of being in love~ 🥰”

Lilia saying that to Silver while staring directly at you, making sure that you’re not doing something to contradict his words.

In Silver’s case, I think he would be suspicious at first. Like how could the prefect switch up their emotions so quick? And why was his father involved as well?? He didn’t tell him the bad news yet.

He would definitely be concerned about how much the prefect was trembling in his arms. Are you okay? Are you sick? Poor dude was so confused.

He sees how much the prefect smiles— or at least tries to smile— in a calm and almost loving way. But it seems so forced? Silver tries to make you budge, asking you if you’re alright and if there’s something wrong.

He also notices that whenever you’re in the room with him, his father will also be in the room with y’all as well. Almost like he’s watching over something— or someone.

Lilia menacingly watching the prefect, making sure that they don’t say anything to ruin Silvers happiness and yours ig: 😇😌😈😈

You, literally just wanting to get out of there because you don’t like Silver like that and it’s gross bc Silver is like a brother to you: 😟😟😰😰😰🤢🤢😀😀

All you can do is try to reassure him and you’re fine and just soo excited to be with him and not hide your undying love for him anymore.

Maybe after all the reassurance from both yourself and Lilia, Silver will finally relax. He can finally just be happy that you love him back and he can finally show you how much he loves you.

What happens if Silver finds out what actually happened? Well it depends on how soon.

If it’s early on then of course he’ll help you out and talk to his father. He loves you but doesn’t want to make you miserable.

But…if it’s after all of the conversations and convincing from his father and you…Wouldn’t it be okay for him to be a little selfish at that point? I mean, you did say you love him soo many times already. Wouldn’t it be so cruel to tell the truth to someone who’s soft and pure-hearted like Silver? To say that you don’t actually love someone who would beg on his knees and cry for you to not leave him? 

You wouldn’t do that, would you? 

Especially if you want to be there for class tomorrow!

But imagine if Malleus becomes apart of this feud??

IMAGINE MALLEUS ALSO HAVING FEELINGS FOR YOU AND HIS YANDERE TENDENCIES AWAKEN AFTER HE FINDS OUT THAT YOU'RE WITH SILVER OMG????

Imagine in Book 7, Malleus is manipulating the dreams so you and him are dating instead and  now preparing to go back to Briar Valley to plan the wedding early??

IMAGINE SILVERS ONLY MOTIVATION TO GET EVERYONE OUT OF THE DREAM SEQUENCE IS BECAUSE ITS NOT HIM THAT'S MARRYING YOU (This is version where there’s no going back on Silvers feelings for you).

OCTO NOTE: Kay I'm done, thank you again Anon! <3333

[pumpkinsy0]

since we don't really know anything about the curtis' extended family i feel like that means that the brother's parents weren't close to them and of course there has to be a reason for that (and if there isnt lets just pretend there is) so could we get some hcs for somehow all of them getting together to celebrate the holidays and they learn that reason?? whatever it may be (also get the shepards in there because i looooooove them, perhas even some little things of them defending the brothers for whatever reasons)

rubbing my hands together i was actually thinking of something like this earlier

•lets say the reason y the curtis parents arent close to their own is bc mrs curtis was a soc who got w mr curtis (who was a greaser, duh)!!! her parents aint approve and they ran away, andddd thats how the curtis parents ended up where they were

•mrs curtis said they never saw her part of the family bc they were too far away, while mr curtis said his part of the family were dead (and he was kinda right, he meant they were dead to HIM but now a good portion of that family IS actually dead, whoops), non of the bros rlly questioned it nor did they have a HUGE curiosity for visiting em, just something they never questioned

•howeverrrrr, mrs curtis’ family did know about pony, soda, and darry, bc mrs curtis sent some pics of the family bc she did always miss them, but they never responded to those letters, untillllll

•one day!!! darry found a letter from their grandma, for their mom!! it was around the holidays and she was wondering if she wants to come over w the family (begrudgingly mr curtis too) to celebrate it w the family after years being apart, and darry just, didnt know how to react to that

•he didnt immediately tell soda or pony, he would just reread it over and over, wondering if he should respond, and if he did how the hellllll was he gonna tell her she died years ago,,,,

•when darrys in doubt, he confides in tim cause he thinks tims the closest hes gonna get to someone understanding how he feels and hes not even wrong!!! a drink w tim is like darrys therapy, but this time all tim could do was listen, this situation too fucked up even for him😭😭, all he said to darry was that theres no wrong decision for him here, he was forced into it, so whatever happens, he tried his best w what he was given

•since the holidays were approaching, darry realized he would have to tell pony and soda about this too, he feels its especially unfair for HIM to decide for all of them, shes their grandma just as much as she is his after all

•now for soda, out if the brothers hes always been the most curious about meeting his extended family, but finally having that chance and the context behind y theyve never seen em, i cant say hes saying a straight up “yes” to this, he wants to go but its not gonna b the way hes been hoping for, for years, so would it really b worth it??? would they b accepted even if theyre greasers???? this could fuck up his holidays for the next few years depending on how traumatizing this is!!!

•ponys just like darry, hes not saying no, but also saying yes either, hes so on the fence about it. of course he’s learned not to judge soc’s, but this is so much more personal and TIED to him, is he mentally ready to face on all this bs???? he dunno

•pony remembers the multiple times his mom said he looked just like his grandma and would stare at him, and he could see darry staring the same way at him, it kinda freaks him out and makes him feel bad, he cant look darry in the eyes</333

•he opened up to curly about it n curly was crackin jokes, he cant take not SHIT seriously 100%🙄🙄, BUT like tim, he did have just one thing to say, ur not obligated to do it, dont base this off of ehat ur parents wouldve wanted, do it how U do

•feels like this would also mean that if ppl found out about the situation, they would see the curtis’ as “lesser greasers” bc in their eyes, they were greasers by choice, but anyone who questions the curtis’ identity shall b beaten or intimidated by one of the shepards and their goons

[i4bellingham]

INSTAGRAM FILES: joão felix x singer!reader

SYNOPSIS: in which you and joão slowly unveil your relationship together as you announce your new EP.

WARNING: incorrect portuguese to english translation

yourusername

❤️ 💭 ↗️ 　　　　　• •

Liked by oliviarodrigo, kaiagerber and 1,245,657 others

yourusername cooking something in the lab ⚗️

tagged: yourproducer

user1 are we having another album soon ? 👀

user2 after a year and a half the drought is finally oveeeeeeeer

user3 omg imagine if she features someone in a track with her 😣

user4 hmm, miss olivia rodrigo liked her post

user5 she literally follows y/n of course there's a possibility that she could like her posts lmao y'all reaching sometimes

oliviarodrigo 😍😍

　　　

yourusername

❤️ 💭 ↗️ 　　　　　 • •

Liked by joaofelix79, jennaortega and 2,457,097 others

yourusername after eight months of working on this EP, i am very happy to finally announce that OUT OF THE BLUE will be out in a week!! the entire song genre is something that i’ve never worked with before but it is heavily inspired by the experiences, memories and happenings that i went through this year and i am proud to say that the songs featured in this EP are my ultimate favorites in all of my creations! i hope you guys will enjoy listening to my craft as much as i enjoyed preparing it!

p.s. to my muse, to the sole reason of this EP (you know who you are) thank you so much for the support and love you have given me relentlessly. this one is for you ❤️

conangray slay miss bae 😍

madisonbeer can’t wait for the release!!! 💗

user1 wAIT A DAMN MINUTE-

user1 EP LAUNCH WITH A SOFT LAUNCH-

user1 MISS MA'AM WE MISSED AN ENTIRE CHAPTER WHAT THE FUCK

user2 this is a live broadcast of y/n stans losing their minds bcs of this ep announcement + the soft launch 😭

user3 user1 mood 😭😭

jennaortega ❤️❤️❤️

user4 joao what r u doing here fam

user5 can he not be a y/n stan like the majority of us lingering in her ig posts my god

　　　

joaofelix79

❤️ 💭 ↗️ 　　　　　• •

Liked by yourusername, enzojfernandez, chelseafc and 987,463 others

joaofelix79 an out of the blue beach trip ⛱️

user1 damn u look fine as fuck

user2 ive never wanted to be a seat so bad in my entire life

user3 that caption ???? anyone noticing something ???

user4 wait are u a y/n fan too? 😭

user3 user4 she's my wife ❤️

user5 please provide context for us uncultured people in the back

user3 user5 so basically y/n posted her new ep entitled OUT OF THE BLUE just last week and joao has been liking her ig posts and now we have his caption 🤔

user4 not only that but y/n soft launched someone in her ig feed too and then we have joao posting that middle pic holding hands with someone AND Y/N LIKED IT

enzojfernandez have fun brother!

chelseafc enjoy joaofelix79 ☺️

　

yourusername

❤️ 💭 ↗️　　　 　　 • •

Liked by jenassainte, madisonbeer and 5,675,870 others

yourusername guess we're doing this out of the blue 🤷🏻‍♀️ the last year had been absolutely memorable for me with you by my side. i can never thank the universe enough for letting our paths cross, for letting us create all the beautiful memories we have together. i love you always, my muse ❤️

tagged: joaofelix79

jennaortega you guys are so cute please 😭

masonmount the cat’s finally out of the bag!!

oliviarodrigo finding someone willing to change spots with me when they start acting all lovey-dovey 😍

chelseafc beautiful couple ❤️

joaofelix79 poderia escrever muitas páginas para dizer o quanto te amo, mas agora ambos sabemos que nenhuma palavra poderia ser suficiente para o quanto significas para mim e o quanto te amo. por causa disso, continuarei a fazê-lo mostrando-te o quanto em vez disso. tu fazes de mim o amor mais feliz, eu amo-te tanto ❤️ i could write a plenty of pages to say how much i love you but by now we both know no words could suffice to how much you mean to me and how much i love you. because of that, i will continue doing so by showing you how much instead. you make me the happiest love, i love you so much.

comments on this post have been limited.

[maukiki1-but-cringefail]

YGESSSSS. NEW BSB ENJOYER FOUND. who is your favorite character if i may ask... i have like atleast 5 but kai is at the top i think. sometimes i think about this image and i'm like "my god what the fuck even is that". one of the guys of all time

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT” LMFAOOO no because thats exactly what my friend said when they saw yuriy KEDBJSBSGWJW. What is. Wrong with his eyebrows....looking like a creature…a bug with antannae perhaps….

BUT MY FAVORITE IS MAX‼️‼️‼️hes been my fav ever since i started watching it love him… my second favorite is kai probably though LOL. I can tell hes one of those fan favorite characters right🤔usually characters like him are… not a bad thing just an observation lol. Metal fight beyblade was the beyblade show i had known my entire life and was a big fan of so i wanted to see the other beyblade shows with it and for some reason i watched beyblade burst before bakuten shoot ????? Yeah that 7 season show i only liked the very first season of… the rest was so boring and for some reason i forced myself to watch it by using it as background noise😭

idk why i didnt give up and watch bakuten instead, took me too long lmfao. Th reason why i mentioned metal fight is that since i knew that show my entire life i had certain expectations on certain type of characters (ik bakuten came first but metal couldve been influenced by it and it was bcs there are similarities lol) (i mean king [from bakuten] looks almost identical to dynamis [from mfb] <- thats just one example) so i thought, while i was watching season 1, Kai Hiwatari was gonna be like Kyouya Tategami where hes with the team yes but doesnt see himself as a part of it and is there for himself only bcs hes a loner or whatever but then that thing at the end of the season happened he became a part of the team and the didnt have random unnecessary off screen character regression like kyouya did in the next 2 seasons (and also isnt an asshole abt it like when he left temporarily to battle takao in g revulotion he wasnt like “fuck you dumbass” like kyouya did basically 😭😭)….

That was so refreshing to see bcs thats not what i was expecting and thank god it exceeded my expectations 😭 thats why i keep saying kai is kyouya done right bcs he kinda is…. Though i find it funny when hes just standing in the background w his arms crossed or laying on the grass like damn bro wants to be cool so bad (not as cool as the frame of rei kon absolutely BALLING)

Said max is my favorite and talked about kai the entire time LOL no but he’s my fav i love that guy EXCEPT. the fact that. He likes mayonnaise… idgaf if its ur style mayonnaise is disgusting im disappointed in you max…..

I also like Yuriy who also seems to be a fan favorite from what ive seen which i expected but i like him in a way like, hes so funny to me. Bro walkin around with bug antannae and the worst posture youve ever seen. Why is he built like that. Fucking thing. Also big fan of the weird ass sht he does in g revulotion when doing special moves hes got CLAWS hell yeah. No bcs no one elses looks like dat when they do it⬇️ as a certified creature fan i can proudly confirm this, indeed, is one of the creature moments of all time.

⬆️i remember seeing this frame before watching the show and thinking what could possibly be the context behind this LMFAO . Shoutout to Rei kon for also being a creature big fan of the pointy ears and slit orange eyes (v force when i catch you v force)

I dont know peoples opinions of daichi but he seems like the type of character ppl might hate for being annoying but i like him bcs he reminds me of me and my brother when we were little (im the younger sibling) bcs every interaction between takao and daichi reminded me of us LMFAO 10/10 sibling dynamic (better than takaos actual brotha😬)

N lemme see if i have any kai screenies i took cauze i took a sht tonna screenshots

I was gonna capriin thwm but idk how to write inbetween them so im typing them here

First pic - already has a caption

Second pic - ths shit makes me laugh everytime im so glad people are not hesitant to resort to violence in this saga

Third pic - V force jumpscare

Fourth pic - what is he listening to . Do you guys think Kai Hiwatari would like Yuno Miles

Fifth pic - one…..one piece…..

Sixth pic - they forgot to colour teh pack of his hair lol

Seventh pic - no need for a caption. What is that

Last pic - he. Smirks like an animal. Idk how to explain it but, he smiles like how an animal or an ailen trying to do it for the first time would do it

I will read the manga soon i have physical copies of the first 4 volumes and ill find the rest on the net bcs bakuten media is so much easier to find that mfb is THANK GOD. I will also be looking up shitty 13 yr old amv s and yall better have sum real 2011 sht

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey cas, so this just happened and im so pissed abt it.

So me and my brother both have tumblr right. When he first got it i was the one who helped him set it up bc i convinced him to get it. I asked to follow him and he was fine with it and i told him specifically not to follow me or look at my posts bc anything i put on tumblr i either tell him, show him, or dont want him to know. He didnt follow me bc hes a pretty good brother (if this somehow gets back to him, i didnt say that).

Anyway, today i was talking to him about my tumblr with my dad in the room, and he asked what my tumblr username was. I said i dont remember its just a keyboard smash (its not. But i put stuff on here about my sh and things like that. Plus i talk about me being gay and my dad thinks me talking about being gay at all is "making it my whole personality") he said he didnt like that i was "keeping secerts" like what?? So he was a bit annoyed and then my brother a little while later showed me something on HIS tumblr (an out of context comment that i knew the context of) under the table (it wasnt bad we were just doing something else with our family and he didnt want to draw attention to it) my dad got annoyed and asked to see it and then started looking through all of my btlrothers notes (this could genuinely have been a mistake. My brother was accessing the comments from all of his notes and my dad pressed back thinking it would take him to the post the comments were on) then my mom asks to see it and i offer to put it to the post but instead of wanting to see the post she goes to my brothers account. She started going through EVERYTHING his posts, his LIKES, his dash, his messages (he luckily didn't have any, but she tried) his following, and then she went through their accounts. She saw he reblogged the amtrack official and started going through that account. All while my brother was begging her to give him his phone back (not because he had anything secretive but because this was WEIRD) plus she kept laughing at certain things she thought were 'cute' like how his description is something funny about how times new roman is the best font. Then she went through his notes where i was a frequent liker and had commented on a few posts. I even reblogged one and said "hey this is my brother check him out he's funny" and i was terrified she would start doing the same with my account which is fucking terrifying to me bc of what i post and the she would ask to see everything else bc my posts are way more 'concerning' than my brothers.

It felt like such an invasion of privacy bc tumblr is literally anonymous, and that's part of the appeal for my brother and me.

Im worried to show her memes on my dash now. Im worried to show her things that excite me or a tumblr i was planning on making about my baking that i wouldve showed her the entire thing, but then she would probably get to my main account somehow. Idk it felt so weird and wrong, and she was laughing while me and my brother were very obviously upset by it.

I can definitely see why you were upset. THis is like a parent reading a diary, it's not okay at all. You deserve privacy, especially since you didn't do anything wrong! Like it's not like she found out you were doing something illegal and searched your phone for that reason. It's frustrating, because when parents do things like this it makes kids not trust them.

If you feel like you have the relationship with her to tell her it upset you, you should tell her that. But if not, then just know that I think you have a right to be upset. <3

[flyingspicerack]

ok im making you all look at this, this is my essay on all the scenes with Ichimatsu in them from takopa, my explanations of why he does them and what they mean UNDER THE FILTER that Mao exists and this takes place simultaneously during my fic

SO I deffo think that takopa takes place, like, on the day it was released, like the evening they have the party is friday july 21st 2023, SO that would mean it takes place between chapters 9/10 and 11, 9 and 10 being the 'ichi stands mao up' and 'mao is hungover' ones that take place mid july, so im thinking 9/10 probably take place around the 17/18th maybe.... SO at the time of the takopa, Ichi and Mao's relationship is that they are finally officially friends, they know about each others neet/hikikomori status, but arent,,, like super close ... its before the festival chapter, so if that makes any sense

the first and second images dont have anything to do with Mao, i just think it's cute that hes just basking in the sun like a kitty cat. the second one however, i think ichi stay home 1 bc hes a homebody but 2 bc he spent all his allowance and cant go see mao at the cafe

ok this is a big one, very loaded. see, his brothers outright ignoring him and not telling him whats going on? well that puts a downright bad and spiteful taste in his mouth, so he's already not going into it with the best attitude

and HERE!! RIGHT here is when ichimatsu decides to fall right back into his position in the family dynamic as the quiet one who follows along with the others, the one who takes the backseat approach to the dynamic. if his brothers are doing something, hes always just going to follow along to an extent to keep the status quo

ok so, ichi, like a cat, reserved to the idea of new ppl being in the house (nyaa and baby), as well as spiteful about the situation as a whole... he goes along with the brothers in the 'pining for totoko' thing because thats just... what they do, theyve been doing it since they were kids, so even if he were to realistically kinda back off from it, there would be questions, so hes just... hes just keeping in line, in his place... BUT HES NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT!

after the bit with the takoyaki turning and ichi finally having fun, he realizes he CAN let loose a little and try to have a good time, sooooo now hes gonna be a little shit and mess with his brothers' chances at getting with totoko bc he can

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT .... ok ... so ichi is there and visibly nervous... nyaa opens the conversation about cats, to which he relaxes... he relaxes yes cause cats, but also nyaa... pink hair... pink hair and cats to him is mao ... its a bit easier to talk to nyaa in the context that he's just kinda thinking about mao.... nod nod nod nod

OK ALL OF THIS IS SO GHREDFLSGFLGBSL OKAY listen... Ichimatsu isn't with mao, but he's pining so hard and hes constantly thinking of the ways that he can incrimentally make homself better so he can be a guy they might be into... so he also, for some reason, thinks mao has experience/isnt a virgin, SO he thinks that he needs to step it up. If he were to get the chance to get an indirect kiss/finally pop his cherry, well, in his eyes he thinks he might be a better guy for mao, he won't be utterly pathetic. IN ADDITION, he picks nyaa because, lets face it, were he to actually gotten the opportunity to sleep with her, he'd be thinking of mao the whole time cause pink and cats... probably say their name too if im being toooootttallly honest... so yeah... he would want to do this to be able to not be such a loser for mao... even if he kinda does have that desire to have them be his first... but his desire to be more desirable to them outweighs his personal wishes if that makes sense....

anyway thats it, thats my post, maoichi real bc i said so

[intertexts]

goodevening I am no longer in the car and while I was in the car I was thinking about new haven wards so I'm invading your inbox. I mean. mostly just about interpersonal dynamics and not power things so technically this is just thinking about pd. but in the context of worm world.

uhmmmmm sitting in the wards base. I think they spend. all of their time out of costume there. none of them really have. family to go home to (with the exception of . william and ashe but I don't imagine they exactly WANT to spend time at home. considering.) so they spenddd all day every day out of costume with each other. i think william and dakota were paired together first and they just naturally clicked with each other right away because they balanced out each other's energy pretty well. hence the extreme codependency qpr. then vycnent joined and he was a little prickly at first bc he didn't rlly know the city or what he was doing there or what his powers were and maybe he already had a habit of distancing himself from people due to the nature of his powers. but obv he comes around eventually and william has his gay little crush and here they are sitting smushed together in the same arm chair watching a movie on the big tv together. dakota is snoring honk shoo style. then WAYYY later ashe joins and william is the prickly petty one. dakota takes to him rlly fast just bc dakota loves everyone very loudly and easily. vyncent took a little longer but appreciated ashes chill personality so clicked with that pretty quickly. william had a one sided rivalry with ashe for a little bit and didn't trust him. however now they are ride or die emos and will parallel play by sitting leaning on each other back to back on the couch doing completely separate activities and not speaking to each other. the new haven wards literally always have to be touching each other in some capacity when out of costume amazon listing do not separate they have SUCH BAD separation anxiety please

also side note about wibby I have some Thoughts about why his last name is bell and not wisp and I'm going to keep this simple and spoiler free but just know there is MORE to this. eventually. i think it's because. grew up in the worm equivalent of deadwood which is a rlly small town in the middle of nowhere which means it doesn't rlly have a strong Cape Presence. so after his trigger event and his family finding out abt his powers (bc i think they Would) his parents push him to join the wards in new haven, because his older brother david already lives there, so he can just go live with david !! easier to separate his hero identity from his parents who he loves if he changes his last name to the same as the brother he's living with in the city. smile. not going to get too into that rn

side note SIDE NOTE bc I just read about them again. do u think wibby retains some subconscious knowledge about the . extra dimensional trigger event being. I dont think he would Remember it per se but. maybe he gets really weird recurring nightmares about it sometimes. and doesn't think anything of it bc it's just SO weird and incomprehensible. this stance may change once I read abt what those things actually ARE but for now. I like to make my favorite characters suffer <3 NO WAIT MAYBE ITS DAKOTA WITH HIS CANON NIGHTMARES. IDK. YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS THAN ME. WHY CAN MISS MILITIA REMEMBER THEM >:|

NEW HAVEN WARDS... SAVE ME NEW HAVEN WARDS.... ok. under the cut so this doesnt get a mile longer 3

ILL OVER THEM!!!!! DO NOT SEPARATE!!! which means of course i have been thinking so hard about all of the reasons 2 separate them & make them miserable. it's gotta suck also being in school right?? since that's iirc a prerequisite of the wards. and the prt would Not be happy with "three distinctive looking clingy ass teenagers in the school everyone knows the wards go to who look exactly like the wards on tv." lmaoo. high school hell Has to stay its so necessary <33 also. i have many many many thoughts on vyncent & how he grew up & his relationship to both his power & parahumans in general but we will get into that once we also get into wibby!!!!

but. yeah. usually when i think of other media in worm lens i immediately go "alright how can i make this dynamic as unpleasant as possible..." it's honestly really fun 2 Not be doing that & instead just putting them all through the blender in various ways. i mean. they still have a fucking insane dynamic at least one of them has to have brutalized some minor thug for hurting someone i think. it's so fun thinking abt how that desperate extreme codependency translates to on shift where their job is throwing themselves into the meat grinder & getting hurt & shit.

IM. SO EXCITED FOR BELL SHIT. im so hyped. love this i'm sure william living with his brother!! ^_^ is incredibly unpleasant and a miserable experience for some fucking reason i will find out. yayyy <3

i thiiiiink. out of all of them. yeah. wibby would be most likely to be fixated on his trigger event. for sure <33 and also he has an insane memory! even if he didn't specifically remember it i think he would maybe know something. dakota still has nightmares but theyre just normal nightmares :-) several orders of magnitude worse though. of course. also HEYHEYHEY now u know my guys my best friends my rotten cheeses the slaughterhouse nine!!! u unlock [NH WARDS NOTE 1] !! which is. i think dakota's parents would have been killed via being victims of the s9 coming to town ^_^ this will be immediately worse for you after u read some more worm tomorrow!! anyway. anyway. 130 am for mee good NIGHT i loove them i love this dynamic so much thabk u. mac ghostiezone wards in my inbox u know its gonna b a good day!!!

[hellpupp]

if i could convince all my friends, loved ones, and acquaintances to listen to One(1) piece of media that was formative for me, it would be Juno Steel and the Monster's Reflection parts 1-3.

it won't hit as hard without the context of the series up until that point, but it's still such a profound exploration of generational trauma, cycles of abuse, PTSD, and the ways we can understand the ones who hurt us as being complex individuals with a rich interior life. it even touches on how our memories are reshaped (sometimes even completely overwritten or erased) by the trauma we associate with them.

it forces us to grapple with the fact that most abusers aren't 2D cartoon villains who hurt others Because They're Evil- they usually had reasons for their behavior, but it does NOT try to say the existence of an explanation for their behavior absolves them of responsibility for it, nor does it try to say you have to forgive them.

i once saw someone tear the episodes to shreds bc they "humanized an abuser" and i've never seen someone look so directly at the point of a story & somehow completely miss it.

i've listened to the entire 3 part story probably 6 or more times, at least, and it's deeply emotionally impactful every time. it's been hugely cathartic.

anyway, if reading this makes you want to give the episodes a listen, here's a link:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

PLEASE take the time to read over the content warnings.

if you'd like a very brief summary of the most important previous plot points the episodes touch on, so that you have a better understanding of the circumstances, check below the cut:

early in the series, the titular character, Juno Steel, reveals that he had an identical twin brother (named Benzaiten) who died many years ago.

juno almost never brings up his mother, but it's clear that they had a VERY bad relationship. it's implied early on that she may have tried to kill juno, once, & that she was somehow involved in benten's death. juno also blames himself for ben's death.

juno struggles with severe depression, low self-worth, and persistent passive suicidal ideation. he tends to self-sabotage his relationships, and attaches most of his self-worth to his ability to stop crime & Catch The Bad Guys. the likely reasons for this are revealed here.

in a previous season, in order to keep it out of the hands of a dangerous criminal, juno took an experimental drug which caused him to grow an organ that an extinct alien race once used to communicate telepathically. he overtaxes the organ, causing it to rupture inside of his body. because it had attached to his optical nerve, the rupture also destroyed his eye.

juno's main employer in this arc, ramses o'flaherty, "generously" supplied him with a highly advanced, experimental prototype cybernetic eye, called the "Theia Spectrum." it comes with an AI which can help juno do all sorts of neat stuff- he later finds out it also allows ramses to see whatever he sees, and to override juno's nervous system if he does something ramses doesn't want him to.

the eye can't be removed through conventional surgical methods, due to the fact that it's become closely entwined with his own nervous system. in the previous episode, juno has finished a job for a different employer (buddy aurinko), in exchange for being taken to a clinic that supposedly has methods to remove this kind of prosthetic safely. the first episode of Monster's Reflection opens on juno's arrival to the secret clinic, alongside the escort buddy has sent with him ("big guy")

[fadeintoyou1993]

💕Positivity prime time! Share five things you love about yourself, four things you're excited about, OR three people you care deeply about and why. Pass this along to someone whose posts make you smile💕

this is so cute i'll do all of them bc i'm in a good mood today :)

5 things i love about myself

i love how resilient i am :) i used to think i wasn't and i just was weak as hell and everything was too hard but by learning my limitations & understanding how the things i've been through over the years (especially growing up In My Context undiagnosed w several mental disorders) have affected me & made me into who i am today and i love that even if things get pretty bad now, i know i'll get through it somehow

i love my sense of humor. i really think i'm so funny and i'm not sorry everytime i make someone laugh i feel like i've won a million dollars

i love how passionate i am about things because whenever it gets too hard to keep going or even seeing a reason to, things i love and care about can take me out of that mindspace pretty quickly

i love my tattoos! even the smallest ones have special meanings to me and i grew up obsessed w them and wanting to have them for so long and i think it's so awesome that I just. Get to have them now. awesome

i think i'm a pretty patient/understanding/forgiving person? not w myself (altho i'm working on it so hard and it kinda shows by the first item) but i think that i'm a good friend/person that people can count to and feel comfortable to be themselves around me. sometimes it's to my own detriment (i'm also working on it but codependency is so hard) but idk i like that like, i'm not good at socialization offline due to autism, but within this little community i have built for myself over the years i have known and kept up friendships with people from different places/contexts/lives and i just. really love having friends lmao i guess that's two things? but well here u go

4 things i'm excited about

i'll have a yellowjackets watchparty sleepover w my friends on saturday!!! i'm excited abt that :)

i get the stitches off my mouth on friday HOPEFULLY so i'm also excited to be able to like. Open my mouth without feeling like i'm going to die

i'm excited to get my tracy chapman vinyl! my cousin went on a trip to são paulo w her bf last week and she said she found an awesome used record store that she wants to take me too sometime and she remembered i mentioned i was looking for this one when we were talking about the records i want ♡ i should get it sometime next week I think!!!

i'm excited to get my updated assessment results this month 😭 i miss being medicated so fucking bad my god... BUT SOON!!!!!

3 people i care about & why

@scre6m -> well dee is my bestest friend in the whole world like i dont know how we have spent most of our lives not knowing each other & icb we only know each other for lile 4 years. they r literally like a brother / sister / soulmate i've never had anyone in my life i can be so vulnerable with & know that they feel the same way like genuinely i've learned a lot abt myself / friendship / love / life in general by having a friend like him & i literally cannot imagine not having them in my life i'd probably die fr fr. dee has helped me understand i'm allowed to be myself unapologetically & i literally cannot even explain how much he means to me. whenever we have lil misunderstandings & spend like 3 hours without talking bc we r both stubborn n dumb (affectionate) its literally like in bottoms 2023 when josie and pj fight and complicated by avril lavigne is on and josie is kicking cans (dee) and pj is being a stupid bitch eating canned food on the stairs (me) literally just like that. i cannot imagine life not being tweedle bru to their tweedle dee frfr. anyways yea dee is my person 🫂 i hope in like 30 years we live in a big weed farm like in popstar: never stop never stopping

@blackfairyemoji -> tami is literally like a little sister to me like i love showing her things & love learning abt the things she cares about & i'm always like rooting so much for her. she is so incredibly talented and smart and one of the funniest people on EARTH like i'll remember some shit she said while i'm doing something and i'll just start laughingjdkdkdk she is so creative & kind & such a beautiful person inside and out and i cannot wait to see her do big things bc i know she will!! trust n believe!! thats my lil sister genuinely. and the fact she is literally the exact same age as my brother makes it all so much real frfr. my dream is to be present for the first time she gets high and listens to music

@nightmarebees -> MY WHITE DAD JACKIE BEAR.... literally love jackie so much like from the moment i saw her blog back in like 2018? or 2019? im bad w numbers but i rmr reading her description and she literally had all of my very specific niche interests listed and i was like. Dude what. we have got to become friends. and we DID!! jackie is such a kind, understanding, funny, loving person and quite literally the smartest person i know. like she knows so much whenever i have a question about something i'm like hey dad what the fuck is____ and she's like thank you for asking, and it's incredible. i love talking to her about media & literature and getting really fucking meta about things bc jackie understands and helps me organize my thoughts w her big historian brain. she's truly one of the best people i know! and i cannot wait to try her baking 🥺

[swiftviolets]

top 23 screenshots of 2023 <3

i was tagged by @applesaucesims a while ago to share my top 23 screenshots of 2023 and it was actually pretty hard to pick just 23!!!! i've seen a lot of people do them by month but because i made this blog in like may i'm just post them all as one :) some are raw some are edited its a real mixed bag i've seen a lot tagged in this already but if you haven't done this yet consider yourself tagged <3!!!

i thought she just looked cool here :(

2. i like the vibe of it and again i just thought she looked cool here lol. i wanna remake this so bad

3. i really like the angle i got w this, like its from elvis' pov. he wants attention but neither are giving it him

4. this was initially from when i started to make pictures to go around lori's apartment but never got around to finishing them. its a little lori and her oldest brother before he goes off to fight in korea :)

5. elvis was not having being held!!!

6. this was when i first started messing around with tool and i just love this shot a lot

7. one of my faves of all time!!!! i cant wait to add more context to this as i get deeper into four to one

8. i was trying so hard to get that feel of an up and coming band and their first album. i looked at a lot of old 60s garage band album covers and some were so raw like literally just a bunch of guys posing somewhere and thats what i attempted to duplicate with this :)

9. i could've honestly included the whole post this screen was from but out of all of them this was my favourite. idk i just like its the first little glimpse you get of new orleans before the street scenes. i was trying to set the mood a little lol

10. literally not a thought inside his little orange head <3

11. i used another angle of this pose for the initial post its from but idk i also liked this one a lot too i think lou's awkwardness makes it for me lol

12. i really like how andy looks back to lori as she was leaving. he looks so helpless and ideally he'd have gone after her but a) he didn't want to deal with her anger and b) he was really not in the mood to receive any shit from the rest of the group, and out of the 2 he's not ready to face lori's wrath!!!! i also like the couple on the left bc they could legit be talking about anything

13. the way they're looking here.... ough. in the story post they take a few moments to watch lori pass before initially approaching her. the look they give her is mixed with the displeasure of spending their friday night tailing their boss' 'girlfriend' and just your typical male gaze of watching girls go by

14. i think i peaked with this shot. she was literally just getting into a car what an absolute icon

15. & 16. the way she looks at him and the way he looks at her...... chefs kiss. she's annoyed and he can tell but that doesn't stop him with appreciating how she looks

17. its my blog header image for a reason <3

18. i love this little moment of intimacy between them. their relationship can feel more like an acquaintanceship at times, especially with how marco speaks to lori and how he treats her. i like in this shot it captures a rare moment in their relationship where lori is genuinely sweet and he's soaking it all in. also i really like both their side profiles hehe

19. i was starting to take screens for a post i was going to make then i just forgot about it but i really like this and how it's a little sneak peak on what to expect later on in four to one :)

20. i just love how the preset i used made this screen look tbh

21. just a cute lil gameplay moment no poses or anything just love between a girl and her cat <3

22. & 23. taken from lori's magazine spread i just really like how candid they look both look

[foxymoxynoona]

You know, if I had a nickel for every time BTS made me stop listening to them due to their actions- I’d have 2 nickels. Which isn’t a lot- but it’s weird that it happened twice. Neither of these occurrences are recent so feel free to ignore this but I need to rant because I found out about it last night and it hasn’t left my mind since. And I’m ranting to you because you seem to have a pretty strong moral compass and you seem to be able to handle some bad stuff and I respect you. Also if I were to post this on my main- I’m afraid that some ARMYs would doxx me. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Anyways this’s got me all in a huff bc last night I found out that during the period I stepped away from supporting them (originally because they worked with Nikki Minaj while she was actively defending her brother who raped his 11 year old stepdaughter. Here’s the link to an article about it, should you want to know more: https://www.essence.com/celebrity/child-rape-trial-begins-nicki-minaj-brother-jelani/. I know now that this was probably less their decision and more their companies but I was also 17 when this info came out and I’m happy that I stuck to my guns then, but I digress) that yoongi fucked up and he fucked up big time.

Anyways- during 2020, when he was releasing his second mixtape, he and two other producers thought it would be a good idea to sample one of Jim Jones’ sermons. And I say him because at the end of the day he’s the artist; it’s his name this will all come back to. Not only that but you have to pay a LOT of money to get any of Jim Jones’ sermons/speeches when you’re not using it for educational purposes (for example in a true crime documentary or a podcast). You have to hunt to get that shit, and it’s not like there’s a lack of information about Jonestown available. This isn’t to say that you can’t employ the words of bad people in media- but you’ve got to do it right. An example that comes to mind is post Malones (not that I’m a big fan of his but he has a catchy song every now and then) song “Jonestown.” Granted, that song still feels icky but Malone demonstrates a knowledge of what happens and that he’s invoking it for a reason. Yoongi doesn’t do that. He picked a soundbyte from a mass murderer and decided to add it to a track that had nothing to do with the context behind the clip. There was no purpose, there was no reference to the harm done during the song. It was a song about “flexing on his haters.”

What he did was stupid. Plain and simple. Because either 1: he didn’t check the source (and he’s notorious for producing his own stuff so this is on him either way) for a soundbyte in a language he doesn’t speak fluently. If this is the case, it reeks of a rookie artist which yoongi is not. He’s seasoned and BTS had been in enough controversies during their early years to know that they should research.

Or 2: he knew and he didn’t care. Unfortunately, due to some comments made after the song was initially released, this seems pretty likely (ie: saying that he was using it because Jim jones was racist to Koreans. Which Jim Jones was known to be racist via a white savior complex and it was mostly focused on black and brown people during the civil rights movement but that still doesn’t have anything to do with the context of the song. It feels like a lazy excuse because he liked the aesthetic of the soundbyte).

But you know what, everyone fucks up now and then. You don’t know what you don’t know- but you can help repair the damage after gaining insight. And the best place to start that process is with an apology, right?

Apparently not, because while bighit released a statement in Korean and not on their main profiles (which is an odd choice because it seemed like it was mostly western fans upset at the usage). Despite saying that they vet the sources seriously, somehow they let this one slip through. You can’t have it both ways; you either vet it or you let stuff slip. And that yoongi was “embarrassed.” If he’s embarrassed he can say that himself. He was 27 at the time, which is far old enough to know better and to be able to take responsibility. In fact, it would probably get him a lot of brownie points if he humbled himself, but he didn’t. He stayed quiet and that was what really set me off.

These are grown men. Adults- Jin was in his late teens to early 20s when they debuted. They’re not stupid- they’re UNICEF reps for gods sake. Yoongi should’ve known better and the group isn’t in the precarious position they were in when they had their first controversy over Namjoon wearing a Nazi cap. That’s when you let your company protect you. This is not like that. I’m sick of the fan base treating these adults like they can’t think for themselves and that they should be protected from the harm they’ve caused.

So that brings me to why I’m telling you all of this as well as how I found this information out 4 years after the fact. It was through a meme. You know that one that’s used mainly for FICTIONAL characters that are evil but well loved (read: hot)? It’s the “my little meow meow” one. So one of the first uses, if not the first use, was an ARMY using it to defend Yoongi’s actions. Why they thought this was appropriate, I don’t know. But that’s what it’s from.

Now why am I telling you this? Well i know that you joined the fan base in like 2021, right? So this would’ve passed you by theoretically. And if I knew that someone I supported fucked up pretty massively, I’d want to know about it. This is also a reminder (not necessarily to you but to the fan base as a whole) that these are men. They fuck up and they don’t need you to defend them. We don’t know them, we have an idea of who they are in our heads but that image is incredibly manufactured. Fanfic and fan art aren’t as serious because they have personas they put on for the camera. But when it comes to posting about the members and sort of glorifying them (again, not you directly but I feel like this could start an interesting conversation) it feels like you’re letting the harm go unnoticed

Anyways that’s my rant. I feel better now. Again, feel free to ignore this. I just trust you with the info because you’re an adult and you seem to show a lot of compassion and a good moral compass not only through what you post on here, but also through what you write

I am actually aware of this and also felt severe disappointment because what I know of it seemed like an example of creatives hyping themselve up and doing something "edgy" without thinking of the real world response, then hiding behind a smokescreen to protect the artist. The apology didn't feel like there was accountability --unlike Namjoon's response many years ago the response to I think War of Hormone and sexism where he went to learn more and self reflect.

There is definitely this harmful cycle that can happen with celebrities where people are willing to forgive them for just about anything, and in turn they are surrounded by people who enable them to drift further from reality and do things that are less acceptable. I have worked with the music industry for 14 years, I cannot emphasize how many hours i have spent debating whether we should/should not work with this or that artist, whether what they did was bad enough to refuse, who has a right to draw those moral boundaries, etc. It's distressing how much of the industry have done really regrettable things --and that's just the stuff we know about. The profits enabel it.

Everyone has to decide for themself what the limits and application of their morality are, who they choose to support and in what fashion. Supporting someone doesn't mean you can't be critical of their mistakes, and everyone has their own line of "I admrie this person but they fucked this up and I want to see evidence of them doing better" and "I absolutely cannot support this person any longer."

Personally, I do think Yoongi learned and grew from this experience becuse while I don't admire that the self reflection was not public in a way that felt sincere, I don't think I've seen repeat behavior since that incident years ago. Could I be wrong about that? Totally. We make the best choices we can with the knowledge that we have.

That meme use is inappropriate and I don't doubt that there are always plenty of folks who are unbothered by what another person considers an egregious behavior. I think that's what you meant about glorifying, those who act like the people they admire can do no wrong. It does both ourselves and the artists and the whole value of "famous" people a disservice: they like us can make mistakes they learn and grow from, and we can learn and grow alongside them, but the hard part for them is that their mistakes are incredibly visible. I don't envy them that.

I'm glad it made you feel better to get this off your chest! And I'm touched that you consider me a safe place to vent your feelings to 😊

[padfootastic]

H E L L O jfp-eyes pen (thats your new name btw)

i know its a little late but my mind keep going back to it and i also talked about a similar issue w several other people on here since and i was wondering if you can/want elaborate on what you said about this:

"like, u want potters to be desi? it’s not just the cute clothes and good food and linguistic differences u need to keep in mind. there’s so much more where it comes from, including several practices that will be considered highly objectionable by this rigidly judgemental crowd."

((i am v v interested but no pressure to answer this, i totally get if you dont want to get into this discourse))

dani—you’re gonna pull me into the desi potters discourse one way or the other, eh?

so. i’m not sure how much sense this’ll make because it’s like…half-baked thoughts but my problem with this scenario actually stems from a more macro, general trend i’m noticing in fandom behaviour. for some reason, puritan culture & veiled conservatism is coming back in the guise of progressiveness? and that’s leading to a lack of critical thinking in these spaces & randomly attributing buzzwords to things out of context bc u don’t have more than a shallow understanding of it.

which means that that comment was directed at a very specific subset of fandom that decided that idk ignoring the Bad Things & Flaws would somehow make them cease to exist. let’s only take the most ‘exotic’, fun aspects even if it’s a completely one dimensional reading & run with it. they wouldn’t be able to tell u what desi is beyond the barebones.

so, you’ll have people vehemently arguing that the potters can’t be anything but desi and white james is gross and i’m just like—why. why are u, as a non-desi person, so attached to this headcanon that you’ll ridicule real people for it? and then their attitudes as well. the incest thing, for example. there are communities in india that marry their first cousins—if i write a story tomorrow where james marries his mother’s imaginary brother’s daughter, then depending on how i HC him, that’s perfectly culturally acceptable (and desirable). if i write a story where euphemia and fleamont use corporal punishment for him, and he takes it super lightly and jokes about it, that’s also fine. (which is a direct contrast to how the western black family & sirius’ abuse is treated). there’ a community in india where the man ‘drinks’ from his mother’s breast, publicly, at his wedding to symbolise the last time he’d be her son before he becomes someone’s husband. another where a new mother can’t feed her son until her sister-in-law washes her breast thoroughly. caste is something that’s not even touched upon. it’s so complicated. but how do u think it’ll be received by most of the desi potter crowd if i actually do write any of this? will i be praised for my ~representation or called out on twitter for being a freak?

and that’s really where i get annoyed. the attitudes most of this crowd hold does not have any space for cultural subjectivity, what is ok to them has to be universally ethical. there’s no way other cultures do things their way and if they do, it’s barbaric/backward/problematic etc etc. pseudo-colonial, like i said.

(disclaimer: i want it to be made very clear i’m not demanding people nclude this stuff in their fics. i’m well aware of how escapism works, being the premier advocate for it. im just saying it won’t hurt to be mindful of these facts, that this is a whole culture that’s ridiculously diverse that doesn’t just exist for the sake of people’s headcanons)

and this isn’t even going into the cultural nuances of how desi families work. you can’t bring in american/european individualism & have james move out at 18 & write everything transactionally & do everything the way u would for a white character but only pay lip service when saying they’re brown ykno? when u say they’re a certain identity, there’s so much that comes with that. and if u don’t include any of that, then it really just makes me wonder why u want a brown james—feels like ego appeasement and falling to peer pressure half the time tbh.

another important thing for me is that so much of this crowd intersects with the ‘fandom is activism’ crowd and i just. fundamentally disagree with those people. and find their words/actions incredibly performative. by which i mean, the way they treat real people—people from the communities they’re adopting as HCs for their beloved characters. there’s this…hypocrisy, yeah? what i mentioned above, about how if i wrote some culturally different practice, i’d probably be attacked. they don’t want desi potter, they want white-lite potters that is palatable to & tailored for their own constitution but in a form that they can pass of as ‘oh look, my characters r diverse which makes me Morally Good and i can use that to shit on others’.

i think my problem is just that i don’t like it when people use the identity headcanons to portray themselves as being inherently better because they have ~equal representation. fandom is not a government institution—lateral visibility & membership is not a prerequisite to wanting to write about x and y fucking or going on a date or hugging or having a conversation. making a marauder group where each character—functionally an OC—is from a different community (often w/o considering how intersectionality works) for the sake of saying ‘oh i have a x in my HCs’ does not make u some radical leftist, yeah? and i strongly dislike people who pretend it does.

[webslingingslasher]

https://www.tumblr.com/webslingingslasher/739224380667772928/hi-j-can-i-talk-ab-smth-thats-making-me-sad?source=share

thank you🫶🏻. i read this reply earlier and it made me cry bc you’re the only one who actually cares. thanks for letting me talk. also this is long and i’m v sorry but i just wanted to share w someone. part of it gets deep but i swear u don’t have to reply to that part, i fr just wanna make one point ab guys fighting

i hate violence so much. the jokes ab men punching walls don’t make me laugh and men beating the shit out of other guys to protect their girl isn’t attractive to me. i just hate all of it

it used to be funny and attractive until it wasn’t. my dad was so mad at me yesterday bc he was drunk and i wouldn’t give him more alc, that he punched a wall. i took a pic of the hole in my bedroom door and sent it my friends in our gc and we were laughing so hard at it bc white men and punching walls yk? It was so funny and we kept making jokes/memes ab it til i realised he punched the wall bc he couldn’t punch me (i closed my door and he couldn’t get in) and that’s a weird fucking realisation.

i just don’t like any of it and i’m having a v bad day. i told my mum and brother and nobody gets it. they both blame me. it’s ridiculous. and now i’m convincing myself that i DID do something wrong, when i know i didnt. it’s fucking crazy. he could beat the shit out of me (he wouldn’t) and they’d still find a way to make it my fault.

im gna send u my mums response (english is her 3rd language so ignore the mistakes) and she’s literally blaming me.

for context, my dad has a history of abuse (against my mum, yet she still defends him) and my mum is just as bad.

this is what she texted me:

“Ppl have limitations. If you push them they do things or say things and you turn and call names to those can’t bare any more. You should be a bit more patient and a bit more respectful to your parents

You shouldn’t keep shouting at him. We’re both doing our best even we are not the best I know, but as a return I thing we deserve to be respected , if you are better than us then you should understand what I am saying”

i just feel so alone. i stg it’s like no one understands.

anyways long story short i don’t like violence and i don’t find it attractive. i don’t shame anyone / any girls bc i’m a girls girl at heart, but i hate how people have romanticised violence bc it really does send the wrong message to guys and younger boys growing up and hearing “fights are so hot” and “it’s so sexy when guys beat the shit out of other guys” even if they deserved it. like even tho they wouldn’t do that to you, the reminder that they can makes me sick. i just don’t like it and i feel like i’m the only one :/ violence just makes me icky and anxious and scared even if it’s not directed to me/supposed to “protect me” (when it’s at another guy at a bar or whatever).

thanks for listening to my rant. ur legit my bestie. i have an anon emoji & we’re mutuals/we talk on here like all the time but i don’t wanna use it on this

ily

i don’t think you’re wrong for having this opinion or have it belong in an unpopular opinion category. i think the issue is that violence (esp w. men) has been so desensitized that it’s “normal.”

i also don’t like violence and grew up with an angry man in my home. i will never be an angry man and i will never be with one for that reason. but when i read something fictional i feel like im taking control back (? if that makes sense.) because i can “control” the violence.

your dad was wrong, and it was wrong of your mom to try and protect him. you deserve to feel safe and i’m sorry you don’t. i’m here always <3

[kay-oc-rambles]

Okay it's been a hot minute since I thought about the first of my Stardew Valley OCs, Cas (even though I made a whole ass sideblog for her that I ended up never using)

But more importantly, I am thinking of an AU. Where some magic shit goes bad & she gets stuck in a time loop (me? Thinking about time loops? What a surprise)

So for context, when I first played SDV it was on my laptop. I think in my very first file I was dating Sebastian, then lost interest in the game. Later I came back & made a new file. After a little while I ended up adding mods (mostly quality of life like faster walking speed, infinite health/stamina, not passing out at 2am, but I think the thing that ultimately screwed me was no crows. For some reason that mod did not play well with other mods). I married Leah in spring of year 2, as soon as I could. And then like 3 days later, the game crashed & the file is corrupted. I was upset of course, deleted a bunch of mods (I had so many mods y'all, though some of them were for hair/clothes bc I'm a sucker for dress up shit). Also at some point before the crash I made my OC Cas & changed the file data to be her.

I started a new save file & this time I went for Harvey (still playing as Cas). Once again, over that first winter I finally got enough hearts so as soon as that first spring of year 2 rain hit, I bought a mermaid pendant.

And then 3 days after marrying Harvey, the game crashed. File corrupted.

At this point I had logged roughly 80 hours across those files & I was so pissed off at losing ANOTHER save file. I gave up.

Flash forward to later I decide to buy the game on my phone. I don't think I got through year 1 before losing interest.

Then I get it for the switch one summer. I play as Cadmus. I play for a while but can't decide who to marry. Eventually put down the game. Then sometime later I find out my brother has sdv on the switch so we start a co-op together, thus my making another OC, Bea.

Recently my brother was like "hey we should start playing stardew again" so we picked up that co-op file, I decide that I'm gonna marry Leah. I also decided after he had enough for the day that I wanted to keep playing so I opened up the Cadmus save file.

Initially I was thinking that for this file, I wanted to marry someone other than Leah or Harvey. My brother suggests Sebastian, & I go with it (in part because back when I first played I was considering him, & also he looks like he could be Anubis's emo brother so why not put Cadmus with the purple haired emo bangs guy?).

But now I'm almost a year in marriage with Sebastian & I miss Harvey. Very much. Like, I'm heavily considering saving up to divorce Sebastian (and then saving up more to erase his memory that we were ever married bc I don't want him to be mad 😔). SO ANYWAY NOW WE GET TO THE POINT

Cas gets a time loop AU. Idk maybe the wizard's ex-wife decides to curse her for sneaking into her house to steal back the magic ink. 3 days after marrying Harvey, Cas gets sent back to her first day moving into Pelican Town. The first reset, she's just like "wtf is happening". She goes to the wizard about it but he thinks she's just crazy. She wonders if maybe it was all a dream so she goes on like normal. She marries Harvey again. 3 days later she gets reset. Now she KNOWS something magical is going on. She insists to Rasmodius that she has lived here for a couple years now. He's like "okay if both times it happened 3 days after marrying the doctor, which happened on a specific day, marry him on a different day?". So she speedruns it & manages to marry him fall year 1 (idk offhand if this is possible but I don't see why not). 3 days later, another reset. First person she goes to is Rasmodius. She has no proof of what's happening but he is getting a weird magical vibe off of her. They on trying to figure this shit out & in the meantime, Cas CANNOT give Harvey a mermaid pendant.

But one day Harvey decides to propose, and Cas can't bear to say no to him.

She & Rasmodius are scrambling to figure out SOMETHING, even if it's just a way to gather proof that will stay despite the reset.

3 days after marrying Harvey, Cas wakes up once again in her old apartment, ready to make the drive down to the valley. She cries. She actually puts off leaving for a couple days, until she gets a letter from Rasmodius. She finally goes, & Rasmodius actually visits her at the farm. He explains that something felt off when she didn't arrive as scheduled, he checked out the farm & there was residue of time magic or something. Hella cursed vibes stuck to Cas herself. She explains everything. They decide that maybe, until they can figure out what to do, Cas shouldn't even date Harvey (or anyone for that matter, just in case). She's a social person, she loves & misses all her friends in town, she especially misses Harvey, but she needs to stay distant.

It's not till year 3 of this loop, year 3 of just being friends, of keeping everyone at arms length while still helping them out (she finally gets the chance to finish the Community Center at least) that Rasmodius realizes it's his ex-wife that put this curse on Cas. He didn't even think she was capable of such a feat! But now that he knows the source, he can work to undo the curse.

Together they're able to figure out how to undo it, but Rasmodius asks if Cas wants to start over one more time, since in this loop she's spent 3 years keeping everyone at a distance. He could make it so that he remembers everything from this loop, so that once it resets, he can immediately break the curse & Cas can live normally. She briefly considers it but ultimately decides that she's tired of starting over. She's worked so hard & doesn't want to lose it all again. Besides, it's not like the town hates her, she's just earned a reputation as a loner who helps everyone out.

I'm honestly tempted to have something terrible happen that would *make* her wanna reset one more time. Or not even terrible but "Harvey marries someone else" or "Harvey has to close up the clinic & move to Zuzu City". But I also wanna give them a happy ending.

Maybe Rasmodius's ex decides to come after Cas right after they break the curse, she gets seriously injured & is taken to the clinic.

What if, once the curse is broken, Harvey remembers all the loops? The rest of the town has no clue, but since the curse centered on Cas marrying Harvey (technically Cas marrying anyone, but she only ever married Harvey), for whatever reason he regains his memories of those past loops.

So when Cas ends up in the clinic, he freaks out & patches her up but there's this whole heartfelt thing where he's like "I suddenly felt like I had spent the last few years falling in love with you", Cas explains it. They decide right there, no mermaid pendants, that they're gonna get married. The whole town is surprised because as far as they knew, Cas and Harvey were barely even friends, now they're suddenly getting married?????

(Cas is of course super anxious during the wedding & immediately after, but 3 days pass. 4. 5. A week. She's still here. Everything is fine. They live happily ever after.)

[rollercoasterwords]

☕️

Okay, I want to know your feelings about Jegulus. Do you see this ship as canon in any way? What is appealing and what can be not good about it, in your book?

hahaha boy oh boy well. hm lots to unpack here let's see.

i mean first off full disclosure right off the bat i am currently. writing two jegulus fics. so! clearly i do enjoy the ship in certain contexts and think it can be quite compelling. when i first heard about it i had very little interest but i was drawn in by, of course, the opportunities for angst and tangled relationship webs and also further exploration of the dynamic sirius has with his brother.

when it comes to canon, though, i tend to be a bit iffier about jegulus. i've never written jegulus in a canon-compliant universe and don't really have a desire to, but i have read one or two interpretations of their relationship that i enjoyed. but what i enjoy about their dynamic in canon is, predictably, the angst, and the exploration of the darker aspects of regulus's character and how james deals with that darkness. and of course the pain of jily later on down the line if regulus is watching james move on and fall in love with someone else <3

in general, though, i mostly enjoy jegulus in aus. and to be honest...i don't even really read much jegulus or seek it out. like, i have 212 hp fics bookmarked on ao3 (i bookmark fics i've read + enjoyed + want to be able to find again later) and only 7 of those are jegulus. and 2 are background jegulus lmao. so!

as for what is appealing about it. i like looking at regulus as a character who has a bit of a skewed moral compass and gets tangled up in fucked-up shit and doesn't realize he's in over his head until it's too late. i think that character creates a really fun setup for all sorts of different storylines. and i like exploring james as a character who feels an intense pressure to be like...this paragon of goodness, whose goodness is then challenged by his entanglement with regulus and the lengths that he's willing to go to for a person who he knows is just...kind of fucked-up and has done fucked-up things. like which of our own morals are we willing to sacrifice in the name of love? that question really compels me in the jegulus dynamic. and of course the messy relationship between james + sirius + regulus, exploring the black family home dynamic more and the ways it shaped sirius + regulus differently, james as a focal point of like...escape and goodness that they both turn to, in a way that sort of tugs him in different directions...honestly i just think there's a lot that can be really compelling about the ship!

that being said. what can not be good about it....well. look. everyone is allowed to enjoy this ship and these characters in whatever way they want. of course!!! however. since u ASKED. i am taking this as license to be a little bit of a hater <3

i have of course already written my rambling little philosophical essay on what i think went wrong with the jegulus fandom, so i won't go in depth on the confluence of factors that turned jegulus into such a cesspit. however i will say that the reason i don't really seek out jegulus fic very much and tend to just stick to like...reading the stuff my friends write bc i know i can trust them lmao is because i think that many of the things i find compelling about jegulus in the first place sort of get stripped away in a lot of popular fanon. like if regulus isn't morally bad in some ways i do feel like...that is just not the character i'm interested in. if there is no darkness or angst to it....well. it is not my cup of tea xx also an unpopular opinion i have is that i do not particularly want regulus to have friends lmao like i just am not really a fan of the little group of friends that has been created for him...i'm so sorry but i do not think pandora and regulus black would hang out xx and i am a barty + evan hater so i simply have no desire to read about those guys either xx

the last hater note that i will add. i cannot STAND seeing timothee chalamet's face everywhere thanks 2 the jegulus fandom. i absolutely need people to stop acting like regulus was a gorgeous little twinky model (NOT! that i think timothee chalamet is gorgeous. people act like he's the paragon of divine beauty tho). sirius is the only character in my book who u can get away with fancasting as a celebrity the rest of them....well they are all just guys. timothee chalamet is also simply my parasocial enemy i want to grind that man into dust simply for the way people foam at the mouth over him when u can walk into any intro creative writing course at a liberal arts college and find five men who look exactly the same. and that's my two cents on that!