#(first post is scheduled for tomorrow)

[khaopybara]

A Guide on How to Be Incompetent with Captain Christ

Step 1. Disturb your target's peace and quiet by calling him everyday. He can't refuse me. I have his criminal record and I can very much so fuck with his life.

Step 2. Say you're going to clean his criminal record, but only partially, because there's still work for him to do, and I need that sweet sweet promotion that will come my way if I get a big boss killing big names.

Step 3. Threaten to reopen his cases if he refuses me.

Step 4. Threaten the safety and well-being of his baby brother when he has been under Kant's care since their parents died when he was like, 10.

Step 5. Tell the civilian (!!!) to get involved with hitmen.

Step 6. Follow Kant to places where the assassin might notice a white dude just hanging out and doing NOTHING because that's my job. Doing nothing.

Step 7. Tell the civilian (!!!) to get in the house of two very well-trained assassins.

Step 8. He gets me all the information I need about the hitmen's next target, but you can't let him go so easily. No. Because he still has to figure out who their boss is. That's right. Not me, the police captain. The civilian (!!!).

Step 9. Make fake promises of safety because we're definitely so competent.

Step 10. Lose track of the assassins after their attempted murder fails. Detail, I didn't even know they were in the bear costumes. If Bison hadn't interfered, Ruerat would be totally dead.

Step 11. Tell Kant I don't need his services anymore after he did everything by himself.

Step 12. Remember when I promised to keep him safe? Lies. I couldn't even recognize the assassin taking him away in a wheelchair, unconscious.

Step 13. Fail to make a correct assumption at all.

[aesthetic-otd]

Today's aesthetic is whatever the fuck this is

[nymdraws]

more of these guys ( + one deanna)

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[sollucets]

rowan's eclipse anniversary celebration

week twelve: free choice (insp)

[mochiiniko]

day 1: from the start

[lambentumbra]

height chart for my main ocs ‒ i still need to draw their actual clothes, but i think this is worth sharing at this point

left to right: olivandre (oli) (they/them) cameron (they/any) jules (he/him)

[servuscallidus]

just found a WWI podcast that lasted as long as the war holy shit. from 2014 to 2018 so it fits perfectly

[merotwst]

blorbos doomdle

last post before my pc gets taken from me exdee. see u guys in a month (art wise). im gonna post some old oc content but not here. i made an oc account where i just brainrot over my kids lol u can expect more there that's it bye

[writingboutbrainrot]

All of Me Loaves All of You [ch2]

[ch0 | NOW ON A03]

Today was the big day. Louise was woken up way too early for her taste, 6 a.m., to go to the wedding venue. To save on costs the whole thing was very DIY - aside from renting a ballroom and hiring a caterer, no way was Bob Belcher catering at his own daughter’s reception and missing out on the important stuff. Besides, he still hated catering. 

So Louise had to be up at the buttcrack of dawn to go and help make sure everything was perfect. Which of course she was the perfect person for the overseeing of...just not for another few hours. Or at least 5 or so shots of espresso. Which she halfway downed on the drive with her parents and Gene.

Zeke’s cousin Leslie was already unfolding chairs outside when the Belchers arrived, a gaggle of children running around and not really helping. Who was helping though was a very tired looking blonde. Louise grimaced as Logan spun around, swinging a chair like Leatherface as he tried to not hit any of the children dashing about. He was very off balance and Louise sipped her caffeine and hoped she’d see him fall. Maybe he’d twist his ankle and someone else would have to stand it as best man. Leslie would be a suitable choice, he could even dance.

No such luck. Brown eyes squinted as the man righted himself and managed to set the chair down without incident. They then looked down at her just as dark coffee as the blonde started walking over with one of those smarmy little smirks of his.

“You gonna help with the labor or just stare at the workers?” he chided, arms crossed and that left brow of his raised so high Louise thought it may get lost in his bangs. Not bangs she could hide under like an umbrella if it rained, but a jungle that her fingers would probably get ensnared in if she- 

She blinked. Then she scoffed. “Unlike yooou, I have the all important job of making sure the bride doesn’t lose her shit. This means that I don’t have to do manual labor, thank you very much.”

Logan rolled his eyes and huffed a little, but then he motioned to the building. “Bride-not-zilla is in there with Susmita already.” He looked like he was about to say something else, but Louise spoke first,

“Great well you keep doing a mediocre job out here and I’m gonna go crush it in the dressing room.” 

She pushed past him, a little bit of coffee splashing his shirt and giving a “ha!” when he called out her name in an accusing whine. 

Dodging way too rambunctious children, Louise crossed the lawn and the ballroom. Then she cracked the door open for a decency check before sliding in. Linda had beelined when they arrived and was flitting about while Susmita handed a robed Tina a thermos.

“Bit early for vodka ain’t it?” Louise cracked. Her sister gave a sleepy glare. She shrugged and muttered, “Tough crowd,” and went to the pile of bags. She and her mom had put their stuff in the same bag and now was the time for Louise to dig around. They had a couple of hours before they were needed for the photoshoots, but Louise knew if she wanted to avoid manual labor she should get ready asap.

“Louise don’t you wanna lounge for a bit in the fancy robes?” Linda asked, waving a fluffy pink robe around. The question stopped Louise in her tracks. She stared at the cloth in question as it beckoned like a siren. If she put that on then not only would she not be forced out of the room, but she also wouldn’t have to use any effort to make herself up much earlier than she needed.

“Yes Mother, I would like to lounge in the fancy robes, thank you.” Louise agreed while putting down the bag. She took the robe from her mom and slid it over her pj’s. The microfiber fleece lulled her into a sense of security. How can Tina be grumpy in this?! she wondered for a moment. But then she remembered how little sleep everyone had gotten.

“Alright so. What’s the game plan Sus?” She decided it was going to be much better directing all inquiries to the bride’s maid who had it all together.

-x-x-x-

An hour of sitting around later and Louise found herself growing….bored. She was currently hanging upside down on the settee, scrolling aimlessly on her phone. Her coffee was gone and replaced with a mimosa flute. Which she was nursing because she felt like 8 am was too early for alcohol but Linda was still always ready to get a party started.

“Besides, Louise, a mimosa is a morning drink. It’s perfectly acceptable,” the older woman insisted while lifting her own flute up.

“It’s a brunch drink, Mom,” she countered with a smile. “Brunch starts at 11, 10 if you’re being generous.”

“9 am if you’re in the Philippines,” Susmita chimed in without looking away from her tablet. Louise heard a Level Up come from the device and caught Susmita grin.

Linda let out a tchk. “Ahhhh you girls and your cement-ticks.”

“Semantics, Mom,” Tina joined in. Her tea was finally kicking in, she still wasn’t allowed to have coffee after that whole espresso episode she had as a teen.

“What did I say?”

“Nevermind, Mrs. Belcher. Hey, do you know when Gretchen will be here?” Susmita asked, expertly redirecting the subject. Louise admired that. It was nice to have someone else who could handle the family.

And like magic, the door opened to reveal….Tammy and Jocelyn. Louise groaned the smallest amount. The two may have grown up over the years, and sure Louise and Tammy have had their fair share of “same wavelength” moments but... 

“Tinaaa, girl we’re heereee!” Tammy exclaimed with way too much energy for 8 in the morning. She made a type of shrill sound that Louise wasn’t sure she could describe. “I can’t believe you’re getting married today!”

“Yeaah you’re, like, making it so official today,” Jocelyn added in the same lilted monotone she’s always had. Her head turned to the minibar next. “Ooo is that orange juice?”

Some things don’t change and it was just too early. So Louise took this as her cue to stop hiding inside and flipped herself off the settee. “Whelp looks like you’ve got enough people to hold down the fort in here T, I’m gonna make sure everything’s going smooth on the battlefield,” she announced while straightening out her robe.

Before Tina could protest, Louise gave her older sister a quick kiss to the top of her head which was graciously washed this morning, and headed out the door with her mimosa in hand.

She didn’t immediately regret it, even if she had to quickly dodge a gaggle of scamps rushing by. But she did so without spilling mimosa, so that was a win. Smirking to herself, she noticed Gene shuffling by.

“Yo Gene, where’s the fire?” she called, already heading toward them. 

The middle Belcher looked around without stopping. “Oh Louise!” They gave an appraising up and down glance before pointing. “I do hope that I have a robe waiting for me in either dressing room.” When Louise just raised her eyebrow, they shrugged and turned back to watch where they were going. “The fire’s at Alex’s van. Not a real fire, this time, just that the equipment is there and it needs to be-” they flailed an arm in the general direction of the building, “there.”

Louise now regretted coming outside. Or at least regretted blindly following her sibling. Carrying equipment while holding a drink was going to be way more work than she planned on doing.

“Bob why don’t you trade m-” a voice grabbed Louise’s attention, shaking her from her musings. Not that she’d admit just whose voice did that. A little ways in front of them Bob was at a wizard painted van with Alex and Logan, waving the blonde away with one arm and clutching something that looked hefty in the other.

“I got it, Logan, don’t-” pause for straining noise, “don’t worry about it.”

Gene and Louise shared an eye roll and hurried a little faster to the group. Louise shouted out, “Dad come on you’re one wrong breath away from dying at any moment, let the middle aged guy throw out his back instead.”

Close enough now, Louise could see Logan huff and roll his eyes. “I’m not even 30, Four Ears.”

“And?” she quipped back, not having any real backup. Which she cleverly hid with a sip of her drink. Seeming to pick his battles, Logan just shook his head. Louise thought she saw the corner of his lips tug up. But that’s something neither of them would admit.

Turning her attention back to her elderly father, Louise tutted. “For real, Dad, let someone else get that. I’ll trade you,” she said while holding out her half empty flute. The fast action caught the patriarch off guard and he precariously handed the cargo over in exchange. Louise finished the transaction by taking a careful step towards Logan. 

“And now you take this,” she chimed while lifting the luggage by the handle. When the almost-30 year old took it without a second thought Louise prided herself on not cackling right away. The double take he did when he realized what happened caused her to burst, however.

Of course she had expertly weaseled her way into carrying the smallest thing there was. “You were really going to make the father of the bride carry a cd case? You monster,” she teased. 

Logan let out a single bark of a laugh. “You should’ve been out here earlier when I handed him the extension cord.” The twinkle in his eye as Louise reached for imaginary pearls was not to be missed. And Louise thought she caught that too. “This is the last of it though. So classic Louise-timing.”

“Pssh, it’s an art, really,” the young woman boasted. She tried to block out Gene and Alex behind them. But when your sibling only knows stage whisper as a lowest setting that was difficult, especially when that skill is extended to their platonic soulmate.

It was Alex who spoke the question, “Do you think we’re going to perform at their wedding soon?” 

And Gene who answered, “Not for another 7 years.”

“Right, right. In their 30’s,” Alex concluded, referring back to Gene’s ancient prophecy. 

For the millionth time in 3 hours, Louise rolled her eyes. Gene said a lot of things off the cuff, and that was just one of those things. Her sibling was not a prophet, and she was never going to reconnect and marry Logan Barry Bush in her 30’s. For one thing, they had already reconnected now, before Louise’s 20’s. So that was already not going well in Gene’s favor. 

Still, she cast a quick glance at Logan and noticed that his face was just the slightest shade of pink. An impish smile took her face.

“I don’t know Logan, I think we should see if Hall and Oates would get back together for us. If they’re still alive in 7 years that is,” she said a little louder than normal. The blonde had the briefest moment of confusion before that rusty gear in his brain clicked over.

“Awh but I was really looking forward to Beyonce,” he pouted.

“I don’t think we’d be able to afford her baby,” she consoled. Cue the indignant gasps from the peanut gallery in the back, and a confused noise from Bob up front. Choosing to leave the former suffering, Louise called out to the latter, “Nothing, Pops!” Then shared a snicker with Logan.

And that really helped pass the steps back to the main area. Thankfully because Louise was thinking that she needed a refill-osa after that. God maybe I am turning into Mom a little. 

“So has anyone checked on Zeke?” she asked, setting down the cd case and opening the door to the building. Gene went right on past her, presumably to cash in on their own pink fuzzy robe. Without answering, so she assumed that was a “no”. So she looked directly at Logan.

“Yeah I’ve been checking in between tasks. He’s got the rest of the party in there with him for company.”

Satisfied with the answer, Louise gave a nod and went inside. Sure enough, Gene was walking out of the “girl’s room” in a fluffy pink robe and two flutes of whatever concoction they made. Louise knew one was non alcoholic for Alex, so it was probably just orange juice and Spryt. The two passed with a nod. However Gene paused and caught Louise’s attention.

“You’re not really gonna hire someone else to do music for your wedding, are you?”

The youngest Belcher sighed with a smile. “Of course not. If I ever get married you’re the first person I’m hiring. Third person I call. If I don’t dual-call Tina and Millie first I’m pretty sure they’d materialize and murder me.”

Gene laughed and gave a thoughtful, “That does sound like them.” Then they were out the door and waving one of the flutes around, splashing the contents everywhere. Louise chuckled and re-entered the bridal world once more.

Before she knew it, it was wedding time.

[ ch3]

[dark-ice-god]

A KariBaku Oneshot: Please, Don't Scare Me Like This Again

What's the time? 1 a.m., time for a oneshot

------------------------------------------

Katsuki watched his country got rebuilt from ashes to new.

Buildings shooting up from debris, people returning to their homes. Kids screaming happily under the windows of a hospital. The sun shining bright again.

His right arm wouldn't move properly. His right eye wouldn't see properly. His heart wouldn't stand the pressure he used to put on himself. His body was broken with little to no chance of recreating anything.

They said he needed to rest.

Katsuki didn't want to fall asleep. Even though he wanted to.

His room was dark and cool, with door closed tight. His parents were not there, he asked for the room to be alone. To heal alone.

Fucking rehab.

What was the point of this war? Just for All for One to end the era of heroes? By using Shigaraki? Destroying the world to build new from the shards? Why?

They are just kids, why do they have to go through all of this? They are not made for that!

He didn't give any promises, why are they looking at him with disappointment? He didn't... didn't aim for the expectations! Didn't aim for the frontlines of the war!

Why?..

Katsuki slipped under the blanket when the door opened, pretending to be asleep. They had already took the bandages off from him, except his right arm and his chest. Katsuki listened to his slowing heartbeat as someone put the what sounded like the tray with food on the table, sighed and whispered:

"If you're not asleep, then this is jasmine rice with seabass and green tea. Be careful with your arm. Kirishima-kun has wished you well and asked for a visit, but I said that you need to rest to recover. There are also pills that will help you sleep."

Not waiting for the reaction, the nurse checked his temperature before leaving. Katsuki waited a few more minutes before climbing out of bed and heading to the table. He grabbed a fork(because his left hand fingers refused to hold the chopsticks properly) and scooped the rice.

The only thing that kept him awake is the nightmares. He kept seeing Shigaraki swinging whatever part of the body was it, hitting him straight in the chest, the pain and darkness coming after it felt real again and again every time.

He had been in hospital for two or three weeks already. But it felt like months had already passed. Katsuki felt weak because he couldn't just go to sleep and ignore the nightmares, but he couldn't do anything with it.

As he finished with the food, he walked back to his bed, carefully climbing onto it. They had performed multiple operations on his right arm, so it could at least move, and the heart transplantation.

Kids' voices were heard, but none of them gave Katsuki the will to ever exit this room again.

The knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, and Katsuki looked up, the weird high-pitched noise in his ears appearing and disappearing after a couple of seconds. The one who knocked was the nurse who, before entering, gestured for someone to wait. Noticing his tension, she said, taking the tray:

"He said he is your friend", the fact that she didn't call the person by his name left Katsuki questioning it. So it's not someone from his class. Then, who was it, he doesn't have any friends—

Doesn't he?

"May he walk in?"

Katsuki nodded, and the nurse left, saying something to a mysterious person behind the door. The voices were heard, but he couldn't remember any of them.

So he guessed it was someone from the police or from another class because he doesn't have any other friends, except—

The door opened a litlle bit more, revealing a person Katsuki's known for years.

"UA did change you. You turned into a vampire now, didn't you?"

"That's my room, fuck off", Katsuki answered, letting out a small chuckle. Kariage smiled before stepping into the room and closing the door behind himself.

"Hope you didn't place something on the floor because I can't see- fuck", he stumbled over the bag Katsuki's dad brought for him from home.

"Hah. Loser. Wait, no- get your fucking cold hands away from my neck!" Katsuki tried to dive away from the hand, but Kariage wrapped an arm around his shoulders, securing him in one place carefully not to damage the right arm.

Oh, God, finally.

Katsuki melted into the hug, his touch-starvation showing after all these years of lockdown. His body felt suddenly so heavy that he could not move a muscle, only concentrating on the soothing caress and Kariage's voice:

"Please, don't scare me like this again."

Katsuki leaned forward, his head touching Kariage's shoulder. He closed his eyes, finding the other boy's hand and feeling the fingers running up the scarred arm. The comfort, the way Kariage stroke his hair so gently, carefully, running his fingers down the temples were overwhelming him with the warmth he's felt long ago.

"You look tired. You really need to sleep."

"No, it's okay..."

"It's not. Come on, Katsuki. I'm with you. You are safe here. You can rest."

He's safe?..

Yeah... yeah, he is.

Katsuki buried his face in Kariage's shoulder as the dark-haired boy covered him with the blanket and pressed closer to himself, as if securing from the nightmares.

The war has ended. His life, however, didn't.

[doyouknowthisbook-poll]

For Pride Month, I'll be posting exclusively queer lit for the whole month of June! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[newvision]

I got two poetry acceptances today!!! One will be featured in a magazine and one on a website

[leverage-ot3]

WAIT LEVERAGE WHITE COLLAR AU BUT ITS NATE AND SOPHIE MESSING WITH (flirting with) STERLING AS HE TRIES TO HUNT THEM DOWN

(this was inspired by my other leverage white collar au post)

[reading-writing-dying]

Little progress update for I Love You, You Love (The Other) Me

Have been fighting for my life trying to write the next chapter

(Big events in/around me have completely ruined my schedule thats been fairly consistent for months now and between that and brain just not working its been rough)

Do have about 1.3 k words at the moment and am nearly at a point where i could technically split this chapter in two and publish the first part maybe tomorrow or Wednesday or wait until I am able to finish the entire planned chapter (no promises on speed, ideally by Saturday but it could be another week if my brain doesn't cooperate)

So you guys (that are here on tumblr and see this update) tell me which you'd rather...

[mashmouths]

save me mango yogurt