#(finals ended and im still mentally wrecked after it)

[oliver-ashcroft-documents]

Asterius leads Oliver out of the courtyard, and reality bends for just a moment before they're both standing in a vineyard.

Outside.

In the sun.

"Do you like it?" The Minotaur asks, not really looking at the attorney. He's a little embarrassed, hadn't thought anything through. He hopes Oliver won't run.

@asterius-of-crete // the misplaced attorney

Oliver was dizzy after the barely-perceived jump in reality, blinking before looking up at the blue sky. He started to grin as the fresh air hit his face, and he started looking around a vineyard full of green, grapes, and little insects. The attorney looked up at Asterius with utter glee.

'yes! look at this place! i have never seen something like this before.' Oliver signed excitedly before tugging the Minotaur along. He led the way, even though he was clueless as to where the vineyard led. The forever guest looked at a cluster of grapes, looking up at Asterius.

'...i know this is not easy for you. but i greatly appreciate it. it is nice to see the sky, share it with you.' Oliver signed with a softer look, beaming. 'plus, it is nice seeing you in brighter light than the lantern and the torch light.' He chuckled gently, mostly silent as always.

[gabessquishytum]

If you want, could i get some dreamling angst? specifically Dream waiting for Hob to wake up after a particularly bad "death"?

Of course!!!!! Thank you for asking!!!!!!

I'm very drawn to the idea of Dream coming across Hob dead, just. By accident. Like maybe they were meant to meet, and he shows up at Hob’s home. Only to find that there's been a break-in and Hob interrupted the thieves, and got stabbed/shot/beaten to death. It pretty much just happened so Hob is lying in a pool of his own blood - maybe he's still actively dying and Dream tries to help, but he can't. So he has to watch Hob fade away, then stare at his corpse while the fatal injuries reset and he can finally come back to life.

Dream is a wreck. He's not even sure why it bothers him so much, when he knows that Hob will be okay in a minute or two. But sitting there with his friend's cold body is just awful. He starts spiralling and thinking about what it would be like if Hob ever did ask for death. What if he'd done it after 1889 or 1989, what if he'd given up? It would have been all Dream’s fault.

At this point Hob comes gasping back to life, already muttering angrily about thieves, and sees Dream sitting on the floor in about floods of tears, nearly hyperventilating. Hob is like "love? im fine, you know i can't die!" But Dream just can't stop crying. So the two of them end up lying on the floor together for a good while, clinging/holding each other while Hob recovers from dying and Dream....... emerges from his mental breakdown.

And then they have a cup of tea. Which makes everything feel a bit alright again. And Dream stays the night in a borrowed pair of Hob’s pyjamas. It's a nice reminder that Hob isn't going anywhere. He pinky promises.

[dirtytransmasc]

Is Spider human body dying? If that’s the case then mama Neytrir and the rest of the fam would then feel like getting the boy an avatar is there only option to save him. And when it’s finally made they befo wouldn’t wast time to get him into the avatar body. But image when he wakes up and he’s just really out of it( he’s kinda just a little bit drunk at first). While everyone is crying for joy and Neytiri just takes him into her arms while Jake holds his hands while moving his hair out of his face, while everyone else is just either crying for joy for just partying.

meanwhile Spiders just like: o m g IM BLUE AND TALL.

(I apologize in advance, I got really technical and drawn out, cause autism or something, lol)

spiders body was left too weak and damaged after such a traumatic injury (they tend to use bigger guns with bigger bullets on the na'vi, so it was a lot for such a tiny body), the amount of blood loss, and the after effects of such an injury (infection, organ function complications, etc.). there was little chance he would wake up and his body, more specifically his mind, didn't take well to being in a coma. some people can 'fade' as a result of being in a coma, and more specifically, being locked in an unconscious body out of their control. this can cause both mental and physical shutdown, which would be devastating to watch, as little can be done for it besides putting him on more and more forms of life support. (don't mind me, I hyperfixated on medicine for years, I know too much)

so the rush to make spider an avatar would be kinda hectic because they're trying to beat the ever-ticking countdown before spider has shut down past the point that he could be placed into an avatar safely, let alone, pass through the eye of Eywa. aside from getting eh actual materials to make an avatar, there's the grow time itself; assuming it takes 3-5 years (they say 3 years ship time 5 years earth time, I'm not physics smart, I don't know what that means) to grow an avatar to around 20ish years old, it would take 2 or 3 to grow one around spider's age. that's 2 or 3 year they barely have, let alone the time to gether materials.

so to say that the sully's are an emotional wreck is an understatement. neytiri has to face that fact this could all be for nothing. the danger her family pus themselves through, raiding the RDA, moving materials, tracking labs and transits; the time, effort, and supplies taken from the scientists that still remained on their side; the stress she was putting herself and her kids through. it could all be for nothing, she may still lose her child, her baby.

jake, and subsequently neteyam and lo'ak putting themselves through hell on raids, all while stressing about their child. having to pick between being out in the field or being home; being in the field gives them a better chance of bring home the materials they need, but they have to give up what might be the last little bit of time they have with their son/brother. stay home, and they guarantee his demise. no father nor brother should ever have to make that choice.

kiri and tuk have to watch both their brother and mother fade away, withering. they know that if he does die, they won't just be losing him, they'll be losing her as well.

all in all, its a rough time, for all of them. years knowing spider is stuck just beyond a hazy wall out of their reach, knowing that they might have been too late from the start, watching all the little moving parts come together and praying that it all ends well.

and finally, by the grace of Eywa, the avatar is complete; its young, they didn't want to risk pushing spider any farther, so its only 13/14ish but its more then enough for them, and they assume spider won't be too miffed about it.

the transfer was stressful, his brain activity was good, but max and norm are not the best when it comes to whispering, so they all get a nice loud and clear message that there's still a chance for it all to go wrong in a split second. they watch with bitten lips and trembling hands grasping to one another (they use the avatar pods the first time round, cause y'know, taking a person in a coma, underwater, to use the spirit tree... not the best idea, especially when you don't know exactly what's gonna happen). but as soon as the machine starts going and no one's voice gets particularly anxious as they bark instructions and information at one another, it feels like the weight it lifting off their shoulders, and when the sounds stop and the na'vi body on the other side of the glass window starts shifting its like they can all breath again, they have their boy back, their baby.

then its only a matter of keeping neytiri back long enough for the science pukes to do what they need to, which is completely unsuccessful. then theirs a chorus of moaning and groaning from the kids as neytiri and jake are allowed to be with spider as he wakes up and they're not ("it's just a safety concern" max, probably. "well you can stick your 'safety concern' up my a-" tuk, probably, she's a big girl now).

its definitly a lot on spider, he's been stuck in his own head for like, 4 or 5 years, now he's in a whole new, blue, body. he comes into the world hearing his mother's cries and feeling his dads hands practically holding him together. its nice, even if he has no idea what's happening.

neytiri pets at his hair and lets her fingers run over his features, kissing his forehead and holding onto his hand as he started to weakly wiggle his fingers; reminding jake of his first time waking up. jake was too busy feeling his sons unaided breath going in and out of his chest where his palm rested, feeling a heart beating stronger than it had in years, watching his eyes flutter as he adjusted to the light. such little things felt like blessings.

eventually spiders able to figure everything out enough to just let a breathy little "oh shit" out, earning a laugh from his dad. he hears his mom smack him, laughs a little himself, he missed this. then that hits him, it must have been a long time since... since he almost died, his family's probably been waiting on him for a while, his mama's been waiting for him.

he's clumsy like a newborn baby, but he turns to where he's pretty sure his mom is sitting, curling into her as she wraps him in her arms. she missed this, feeling him move under her arms, not lying against her still and lifeless. this was nice, this was good, this was right.

and after a while of laying against his mama he hears movement, and talking, so much talking. he's barely even awake but he knows that all his siblings have gathered around him. his dad's attempt to fend them from smothering him fail; he's got tuk in his lap, kiri wrapped around his shoulders, both of his brothers were close by, lo'ak at the end of the bed, neteyam at the head with his hand in spider's hair.

he feels loved and it feels fucking fantastic, he's been getting bits and pieces of his family's affections over eywa only knows how long, so to be touched and loved on and talked to, it feels great. he soaked it all up, letting it bring him fully into his body.

as his sight and hearing clear up he finally gets a good look at his family; neteyam is all grown up and a carbon copy of their mama, lo'ak looked just like jake too, tuk was almost all grown up, he missed so much of her childhood, and kiri looked like grace, full of piss and vinegar yet so beautiful, one with the great mother and nature and him, his heart. his siblings had changed so much, in all fairness he had too, but he felt like he had been robbed of so much, they had been robbed of him.

he looked to his parents, the white strands in his mother's hair, tattling on the stress she was trying to hide with her bright smiles. jakes eyes were tired, his face held more lines in it, and his shoulders sagged.

they'd been through enough, him, his family, his people, so he was going to take this new body and new chance at life with stride and pray that eywa would be good to them.

"I'm fucking blue motherfuckers," he announced, finally pulling himself up to sit, getting his brothers all riled up and a tired shake of the head from kiri.

"yeah your fucking blue, now relax before you upset norm and max, mama might kill them if they try and take away visitation rights." kiri scolds, gently of course.

he mocked a yeah yeah, attempting to flick his tail at her, with no avail.

"hey dad, is this what it felt like when you first used your avatar? all mushy and weird." he turns to look at jake, completely and blissfully unaware of the bomb he's about to drop on jake.

"yeah kiddo, but you break it in a bit and it feels normal," he looked... happy, but sad.

dad

oh, fuck... thats the first time jake had heard him say that since that day.

"wanna take it for a spin kid? with your mama's permission of course..." his eyes anxiously scanned his mates face, clearly trying to distract both of them from the mental trip they just went on.

he felt his mom wrap around him tighter, hissing a bit before relenting, "10 minutes jake, or so help me," the threat rumbled low in her core, she would have her baby returned to her in 10 minutes or the only person who could protect jake was Eywa herself.

"got it, come on kid, up on your feet," jake ordered in that stupid fake military voice he'd used since they were kids, holding out a hand, pulling spider to his brand new feet with ease.

his siblings jumped up to follow, kiri and tuk dragging their mother along, and for the first time ever, he went outside and breathed the air of his people without a mask or pain, he could trot along with his siblings, and his senses were razor sharp.

his mother stayed close, keeping a hand in his hair, guiding him with her tail as if he truly was a newborn. her smiles was worth it though, bright and relieved as she watched her children and mate finally finding peace. his siblings dancing around him, lo'ak and tuk in particular while neteyam and kiri watch on feigning disappointment.

he could get used to this, he will get used to this.

[teddy-feathers]

i hate my aunt.

she made another comment on if i wanted to take more pills or if i wated to grow up and deal with shit.

she does not get that if i didnt have the pills id already be dead. this is not hypothetical. i have wrecked my car on purpose several times, I have too many knives and access to medication and im just smart enough to be a danger to myself. one day i took like a handfull of my actual medication because it was going to fucking help or the next handfull of pills i took wouldnt be to help. and you know what. it fucking helped.

and its not oh youre just reacting badly to stress. no. even when everything was fine id find ways to be stressed or miserable or apathetic. in fact when things were at their best i was often at my worst - and that was after i got back reconnected with family got past the shame started working with a therapist had a job was doing good... and i was still thinking of killing myself. still having days where funtioning was too much like being skinned alive. still being fucking at war with myself from being too up and too down at the same time. and i was doing good. everything was finally better and had been better for a while and i was actively or passively sabotaging that.

and you know what? if there was a possible way to bootstrap myself better, idve fucking found it by now. so being medicated is like actually good for me. and i know it is because when i forget to take my meds or like right now when im switching meds and im fucking miserable and struggling to even pretend to be a person. like im managing to maintain an illusion but its not my best work let me tell you.

that and my best fucking friend are the only reason i called my shrink to say "yeah i actually am not okay" after a week of fucking going "dying sounds nice right now" like honestly and truely if it werent for my best friend id just give up trying.

like i get it. im in a bad place right now and youre worried and you think you know best. but the second you said that snide fucking comment i basically stopped listening. im so fucking furious.

ill give you drug seeking behavior. ill give you taking the god damn easy way out. (she did not say this but you can understand why i think its implied from her fucking attitude)

like. god i want to tell her so bad to stop making comments about it, to just fucking forget im medicated if thats what it takes. because the next time she makes a comment about it that will be the end of the conversation. that is the boundary im setting. that will be the end of the conversation.

but i dont have the fucking balls to set boundries do i.

like. i am sick right now. mentally.

im glad my knives are mostly in the car. im glad my best friend expects me to get up in the morning and gibe her a hug before work. im less glad that i cant bring myself to do things i need to keep my life running but ive got some leeway and hopefully my meds will level me out soon enough that no actual issues arrise. im glad that i might get out of this without fucking up my life or whatever. im glad that this isnt a couple of years ago where suicide seemed like an actual option and i couldnt roll my eyes as i lay here and rot and go "Yeah whatever your being dramatic" and that i know and *can* get up and get fluids and food when im rotting so im not actively making myself worse while i want for it to pass.

i hate that i do have to wait for it to pass. that i feel like if i do certain things it will trigger my own personal apocalypse or breakdown or something. i hate that my thoughts are variations of "i wish i was dead"

but because of the medication, even not at the right level, im not going to drive off the side of the road to deal with my problems.

i hate myself yeah but i hate my aunt and her shitty ass comments.

[aciesvirtus]

Don't Say No to a Man in Love? (Chapter 4)

A Legally blonde au for ohshc! One unfaithful day, just when Tamaki thinks Kyoya is going to get serious with him and take things to the next step, he breaks up with him! In order to win his love back, Tamaki follows Kyoya to Harvard, chaos ensues. (for plot purposes haruhi was never a part of the host club. im sorry :c)

Chapter 2 & 3

Full Work Ao3 Link

Word Count: 975

Authors Note: haiii :3 sorry for making this short :c also im sorry if this is ass i have not been able to write lately

Tamaki immediately rushed back to his dorm, as one of his hands locked the door the other called the group chat. He filled them in on everything, and bitched and moaned about the emotional wreck of a day he had while the rest pretended like they didn't know anything about Renge and Kyoya's engagement.

As Tamaki started to talk about the costume party, there was a deadly silence among the rest.

''Tono..'' One of the twins spoke, though it was kinda hard to tell which one through the phone. ''We think you should skip this one.'' This time they both spoke in unison.

''No!!'' Honey objected. ''I think it'd be very fun! You can even dress up as a cute bunny! Like Usa-chan!'' he giggled, it's hard to imagine that he was in fact 20 years old when he spoke like this. There was a deep hum coming from a distance as the words left his lips, it was coming from Mori.

Suddenly a comical light bulb rose on top of Tamaki's head. ''A bunny costume!''

''Please don't.'' The twins begged but it was in vain. ''We shouldn't trust Renge, don't you remember all the weird shit he put us through? C'mon Honey senpai you have to remember!'' Hikaru himself tried his chances again and pleaded, this time Tamaki could tell.

Honey appeared speechless. ''Oh, yeah that was horrible actually.'' he said kinda nonchalantly ''But maybe she changed!'' his pitch got higher again. You could practically imagine the flowers and the sun swirling around him as he spoke.

''Still, she probably hates you, Tono. It won't end well.'' The twins warned in union. 

Tamaki sighed, he debated listening to his friends or following his heart to the party. Talk to Kyoya, to get him back, to get him to listen to him once again. All of a sudden, his mind was filled with mental images of Kyoya, how handsome he'd look tonight, how he'd smell, how he'd style his hair and how the light would reflect on his perfect jet black hair.

The club was still talking about something but Tamaki couldn't listen. The conflict was eating him up. He decided he would simply swing by and that would be it. One conversation with Kyoya and he was out.

After 30 minutes of getting ready for a party that he'd just ''drop by'', he was actually not even wearing that much clothing. He had completely ditched his modest 'gentleman' act, was only wearing black short shorts with a chunky belt, a bow tie and bunny ears. His toned bare chest was completely exposed and he had to admit he felt sexy, all while the gentlemanly former members of the host club was making a tierlist of the instagram accounts of their ex guests and was busy with other highschool gossip. He hung up the phone call that was still going on, it seemed the rest took their tierlists very seriously. He made it to the address of the party and let himself in.

It didn't take long for people to immediately spot him and it didn't take long for him to notice that everyone was dressed completely normal. He had been had. It wasn't a costume party, the twins were right. But Tamaki hated admitting that. Though, he kept his head up. Somebody had to bring some light to this dark cramped party.

All within a second, Kyoya's eyes located Tamaki as Tamaki was walking to a crowd directly towards him. Tamaki could notice the color flushing Kyoya's cheeks, which happened very rarely and Tamaki couldn’t take his eyes off him, he did look as handsome as he imagined. Tamaki smirked at his victory as he was finally a step away from Kyoya.

Kyoya fell deadly silent. ''You.. look good..'' he subsequently muttered.

Tamaki whooshed his hair dramatically ''Good enough to be your prince again?'' his eyes gleamed.

Kyoya sighed, ''I thought my message was very well received.'' He replied coldly. ''Father expects someone serious for the future, Tamaki. I'm afraid you don't fit the bill.''

Tamaki furrowed his brows in anger ''I can be serious when I need to be, you know that.'' Then he chuckled after a few seconds of silence, nodding ''I get it, you don't see me as an equal. I was just a toy to you? We spent years together, Kyoya. After all the things we've done for each other, after all the things our families did for each other you act like this?'' His words spilled out like venom.

Kyoya broke eye contact by turning his head ''I never said such things... You don't get it, Tamaki. It was for the best.'' His face appeared troubled, as if he was holding back something.

Tears formed again in Tamaki's eyes, it was okay, they were constant visitors lately. He put his head down ''Fine, I'll show you! I'll show you, I'm the one you deserve!'' Tamaki shouted as he stormed away, bumping into some people on the way which resulted in more attention on him that he did not want at the moment.

He walked, in the harsh wind of autumn with a slight shiver all the while mumbling  to himself about 'being serious' and 'being perfect' until he spotted a familiar figure in front of him. Haruhi.

They locked eyes for a few seconds, Haruhi raised a brow then proceeded to observe his outfit.

Normally, Tamaki would immediately take advantage of catching Haruhi's attention and flirt with her but he was frozen solid. All he could do was stare back as he felt his skin turning to stone.

Fortunately, Haruhi just laughed and walked away. He smiled, that made him feel warm again for some reason.

Tamaki marched back to his dorm, from now on he would make sure to show the world the true value of Tamaki Suoh.

[writemywaytoyourheart]

Oh my god…I just read chapter 12 and I CANNOT I REALLY NEED TO WRITE THIS ONE OUT 😭😭 CHIP IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY BUT THE WAY THIS LITERALLY RIPPED ME APARTTTT THE PAIN IS TOO GOOD 🥲

Your story writing and symbolism never ceases to amaze me. The bits and pieces of significant object or events that references the earlier parts of the story and makes the pieces fall into place are so DELICIOUS like idek any other word for it because it’s just so *chefs kiss*

I’m just gonna point out a few I’ve noticed because it’s honestly wrecking me internally so much and I need you to know that 🫵🏻🫵🏻🫵🏻💖

1) THE FIRE

The way demon Jungkook just spawns these little flames out of nowhere and MC is like ??? But it turns out it’s just smth he’s been doing THEIR WHOLE FRIENDSHIP TOGETHER AS A WAY TO CALM HER ANXIETY LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THAT ONE RUN ME OVER WITH A CROP DUSTER

2) THE VASE

that little vase that Taehyung gifted her after her miscarriage that she smashed 😭😭 why just whyyyyyyy stop making these little objects the cause of my mental breakdown (jk ily and your stories 🥺)

3) THE TREE SCENE

I’m not exactly too sure on this one tbh but that scene when she was in hell and weeping over the forest as she hugged the tree, was that supposed to represent the imaginary friend she had been talking to all along? Or did it remind her of them? But still the chills 😩 also I wasn’t sure if that little girl she saw in the tunnel was supposed to be some evil version of her daughter 👁️👁️ but also was her daughter actually her daughter or an Angel that took on the form of her daughter

4) DEMONS AND THEIR DEMON BUSINESS

THAT CHAPTER WAS JUST A HUGE RECALL TO AN EARLIER SCENE IN THE STORY, when demon JK made a deal with a woman but her partner ended up dying. It’s almost like they intentionally give them hope only to crush it and take it away from them, even more so because it’ll be too late and they can’t do anything having given their soul. The event of MC being cured only for her to become sick not long after and dying are literally paralleled with that woman, only with JK being the demon. But also FUCK Jisoo and that stank ass kid I could never be as kind and gentle as MC like YOURE ON YOUR MFKN OWN 👋

5) LUCIFER

The way I KNEW that he was gonna be the one to make the deal with Jungkook like THE SECOND THAT SLUT WALKED IN AND YOU DESCRIBED HIS TATTOO ANSJDJKFJF

5) THE KISS

oh god I saved the best for last… this one broke me because I KNEW IT I KNEWWWW THE SECOND MC WENT LIKE “is that all I get? ☺️” MY SOUL WAS GONNA BE BLENDED, JUICED AND THROWN DOWN THE SINK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 AND THATS NOT EVEN THE WORST PART, BECAUSE THAT DIRECTLY TIES INTO WHY ANGEL MC STOPPED DEMON JK FROM KISSING HER HOLY SHIT YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND 😭😭😭 THE WAY I STARED INTO SPACE FOR A WHOLE MINUTE WITH WATERY EYES 🥲🥲 her going “not yet” and him being confused asF. SHE WANTED TO BE ABLE TO FINALLY KISS HIM AS JUNGKOOK, HER LOVER, WHEN SHE SUCCEEDED IN REACHING THE FLAME

That took so much out of me omg 🧌 I really hope I’m not bothering you with my essays 😭 I typically do this when I read writings that have a lot of puzzles and important details like just add my little thoughts and things I love- there’s a term for it but it’s slipping my mind 😭 ty so much for gifting this amazing work of art for us to read 💖

HAHAHA I love how enthusiastic you always are 😭 it's amazing 💝

There's a lot to unpack here!! Let's do it^^

1. THE FIRE:

I'm so glad you picked up on that!!! LOL run me over too while you're at it 😭 🔥

2. THE VASE:

Yessss Tae's wedding gift 🥺 again I am so so glad that you recalled her smashing it 💔 that hurted me to write ngl 😔

3. THE TREE SCENE:

This is actually a really cool theory! The tree actually represents someone who committed violence against oneself. It's part of Dante's Inferno with my own little twist. Our lil angel just felt grief for the soul 💔

THE TUNNEL and BABY ANGEL: Again, another cool theory! The demon in the tunnel is just a demon tho! It was briefly mentioned on kookies 17th birthday that she was spooked in the woods. I didn't find it necessary to go all into that since it was just a ghost story that was explained in the tunnel :) Basically it was one of Apple's childhood fears that manifested in the tunnel 🥲

As for the two scenes with the angel that looks like Aera, it is her! Sweet baby girl is an angel now 💞😇

4. DEMONS AND THEIR DEMON BUSINESS:

Babe you hit the nail right on the head!!!! Ahhhhh I'm so so glad you mentioned it! I was hoping that came across, we'll get more into it in future chapters as well 😫 as for Jisoo, fuck that bitch. Her poor lil boy tho, hims didn't do nothin wrong 😭 but fair enough!!!

5. LUCIFER:

Yeah fuck that bitch ass ugly ass hoe 🖕🏻🤢

6. THE KISS:

STOP IT IT'S TOO SOON EVEN FA ME 😭😭

Thank you so so much for sending this! I truly truly LOVE seeing what you have to say and your theories and takes on different scenes, I always look forward to it!!

I hope you have the loveliest day 💖💖

ILY 🔥

-chip

[sexdrugsrocknroller]

ok so.

i just watched the final episode of mp100.

i actually never read the manga, so i was an anime only and didnt know how kt would end. i was spoiler free.

the only thing i thought i knew is that mob doesnt actually have powers, but that in him resides an otherwordly entity for whatever reason, that also has incredible psychic powers.

but now, i realize that was wrong.

??? isnt an entity that takes over his body only when his host is in actual danger, or some trickster god.

??? is just...him. its shigeo. a part of shigeo. an inconscious part that internalized all his emotions ever since his incident where he hurt his brother, convincing the conscious part of mob that he shouldnt express his emotions, lest he goes out of control.

except he still goes out of control. because suppressed emotions and feelings dont disappear. they bottle up gradually, until you're so full that you explode, and have a mental breakdown or meltdown. and in his case, the consequent explosion is much more grave, because hes capable of wrecking a city, without anyone to stop him.

except someone who's so close to him in this regard that he can actually understand. his mentor reigen.

reigen was capable of stopping mob because he was under the same problem of hiding a part of himself, that can be considered his 'true' self. that being his not actually being a psychic and not truly understanding what mob is going through.

but it doesnt matter that reigen isnt a psychic. what matters is that he admitted the truth, he showed his "true" self to mob. something he fears of doing since his first explosion.

he's showing him that he understands the feeling of having a double side of himself, and tells him that everyone, himself included, has one, and that we should accept that double side, because its a part of us. we may believe that part shouldnt exist, but by accepting the existence of that side we can work a way to be our "full" selves without hurting other people or ourselves.

he's telling mob that, while he may not know exactly what is happening to him or what he's thinking, and what he's been going through all this time, he can still be by his side to comfort him and let him express his emotions. to let himself be vulnerable with him.

reigen is telling mob that its okay to have a double side, and that in fact we should accept it and work with it, become one with it, because if we dont, we end up eventually exploding and hurting us or other people.

and, by telling the truth to mob, he manages to convince him to reconciliate the two parts that live within him, thus becoming his true self. and, after tsubomi's rejection, he ends up finally letting out his emotions about the recent events. not just the rejection, which is maybe the smallest thing, but also having hurt his friends, people he doesnt know, his city, and the closest people to himself. finally letting out those emotions. but this time, he's fine. he doesnt explode again. he simply cries. both reigen and mob have become one with themselves.

at first, i didnt cry too. i was feeling pretty sad during the ending, since it was the end of the story. but when i rewatched from the confession, the emotions built up in me and eventually.. i cried. like a lot. i pretty much ended up ugly crying, mostly because of the surprise party for reigen. then, i started understanding the other themes of the episode, and cried harder. i read comments under the episodes and posts on the tag here on tumblr, and cried again. i dont think there's another anime like mp100, nor that there will ever be.

but im happy that i got to watch it right while it aired. im happy that i watched it in its entirety. im happy that was such a good adaptation. and im happy that it exists. just like we should be happy of our existences and of ourselves, and strive to become one with ourselves. one and only one.

[eiimeixi]

i hope no one minds if i yap, so i'll share my story

i didn't start out writing fanfiction specifically because of one person, but multiple people. i got inspired by the amount of people who put effort and dedication into their love and passion for the hobby and the characters

but there definitely was some fanfiction that completely altered my brain chemistry, forever. THAT I WILL NEVER GET TO REVISIT BECAUSE THEY'RE COMPLETELY GONE FROM THE INTERNET, ONLY BURNED INTO MY MEMORIES AND I'LL CARRY THEM ON TO MY GRAVE WITH NO ONE TO TELL BUT THE EARTH MIXED INTO MY ROTTING FLESH-- or ashes, depends

the first was a wattpad bokuaka fic i randomly found linked while looking at fanarts on google (please it was years ago)

the title was "Doctor's Orders" and the plot was basically bokuto was in a mental hospital? or asylum? or rehab im pretty sure for anger issues if i remember correctly, and his new doctor was akaashi. obviously, doctors and patients arent allowed to be involved in relationships with each other, but despite that they began slowly falling in love, helping bokuto overcome his anger issues. oh, of course they never acted upon their romantic feelings for each other in ways other than caring for each other. but they would get into small accidents that make it seem like they did something. WHICH IS IMPORTANT FOR THE PLOT. WHY? because shirabu finally released bokuto after deeming that he has healed, and so akaashi and bokuto can finally allow themselves to be in an official relationship!! so happy happy!! yeah, totally, until the cops came and arrested akaashi for grooming a patient that was "not yet released". yep. shirabu didn't actually sign the papers for releasing bokuto. he faked them! tricked them! tricked akaashi into getting arrested (there were cameras in the rehab facility that captured all of those little accidents AND THEY WERE ALL PLANNED BY SHIRABU) and tricked bokuto into thinking he was free for GOD KNOWS WHY??? I THINK I WAS TOO SHOCKED TO EVEN COMPREHEND WHY THE HELL SHIRABU DID THAT OR IT JUST GENUINELY WASNT STATED BUT DUDE I'M STILL NOT OVER IT. ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN YEARS PASSED AND BOKUTO WAS FINALLY RELEASE FOR REAL (dude he was actually healthy already when shirabu faked signing the release papers but idk that guy has a screw loose) AND DECIDED TO PAY A VISIT TO AKAASHI, ONLY TO FIND HIM ABSOLUTELY WRECKED. HE ADMITTED HE FORCED ALL OF THE GUYS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM EVEN IF THEY DIDN'T WANT TO, ALL BECAUSE HE COULDN'T GET HIS AND BOKUTO'S FIRST TIME OUT OF HIS HEAD. HE WAS THAT WRECKED. AND HE MENTIONED ABOUT HOW HURT HE WAS THAT BOKUTO NEVER VISITED HIM IN ALL THOSE YEARS. I WAS IN TEARS?? EVEN MORE SO IN THE EPILOGUE THAT SHOWED WHAT WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF AKAASHI WASN'T ARRESTED AND THEY NAMED THEIR CHILD AFTER YACHI.

THAT WAS LIKE 2,3 YEARS AGO AND THE WOUND IS STILL VERY. VERY FRESH. I WILL NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME GET OVER THAT FANFIC. i still mourn it every waking morning. because im very sure it's deleted and i don't even remember the author.

(please guys if you know what im talking about, cry with me)

the other fanfics were all written by melqiiuvi on ao3, an ex-skephalo writer that i GREATLY LOOK UP TO. THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO GODLY AND ALL OF THEIR FICS COMPLETELY HAUNT ME.

THE ONE WHERE BAD WAS ALWAYS A TIME-TAKING FREAK WHO'D ALWAYS JOLT DOWN IMPORTANT DATES, DOWN TO THE EXACT TIME THINGS HAPPENED. UNTIL ONE NIGHT WHERE HE GOES TO A PARTY WHERE HIS SCHOOL YEAR-LONG CRUSH SKEPPY GOES AND THEY'RE DRUNK, AND END UP KISSING. AND KISSING. AND MAKING OUT. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN BAD'S LIFE, HE THINKS SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF NOT NEEDING TO WRITE DOWN THE EXACT AMOUNT OF TIMES THEY KISSED, WHEN EACH KISS HAPPENED, ECT ECT. AND JUST LEARN TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT

THE ONE WHERE SKEPPY HATES VALENTINES AND DOESN'T SEE THE POINT IN IT BUT HE LEARNS IT'S IMPORTANCE WHEN HE SEES HOW IMPORTANT IT IS FOR BAD

THE ONE WHERE SKEPPY WORKS AT A CAFE AND HE'S ONE OF THE BEST EMPLOYEES BUT WHENEVER BAD'S AROUND HE ACTS ALL CLUMSY AND SHIT TO GET HIS ATTENTION

THE ONE WHERE SKEPPY'S IN AN UNHAPPY RELATIONSHIP BUT HE KEEPS HER AROUND BECAUSE-- actually i dont remember, BUT WHEN HE FINDS OUT BAD HAS A CRUSH ON HIM HE TRIES HIS ABSOLUTE BEST TO PREVENT BAD INTO FALLING ANY FURTHER FOR HIM, TO SAVE HIM FROM HIMSELF. ONLY FOR SKEPPY TO FALL FOR BAD. LIKE. THE SCENE WHERE HIS GIRLFRIEND'S SITTING ON HIS LAP IN THE CAFETERIA AND TALKING TO HIM BUT SKEPPY CATCHES A GLANCE OF BAD SMILING FROM TABLES AWAY AND HE CAN'T STOP THE WIDE, GENUINE SMILE FROM TAKING OVER HIS FACE AND QUICKLY LOOKS TO HIS GIRLFRIEND TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE HE WAS SMILING AT HER INSTEAD. THE LINE WHERE THE GIRL SWEARS SHE'S NEVER SEEN HIM SMILE SO GENUINE WITH HER. AND IT WASNT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE DIRECTED AT HER. GRJAJHWA

MOST IMPORTANTLY, THE ONE WHERE BAD HAS SYNESTHESIA AND SKEPPY'S A GUITARIST IM PRETTY SURE AND EVERYTIME HE STRUMS THE GUITAR, BAD SEES BLUE. at least i think.. i'm not very sure the memories i have of the plot are pretty vague BUT I DO VIVIDLY VIVIDLY REMEMBER EVERYTIME SKEPPY TALKED, BAD SAW YELLOW. AND A LINE ABOUT HOW BAD'S FAVORITE COLOR'S YELLOW NOW TOO.

ALL OF THEM. ALL OF THEM ARE DELETED BUT THEY'RE ON MEMENTOARCHIVE . ORG BUT I DONT FUCKING KNOW HOW TO DOWNLOAD THEM BECAUSE I KEEP GETTING REDIRECTED INTO A TIME-WASTER SCAM OF A WEBSITE

anyways yeah that's my story of anguish and endless mourning, please never delete your fics no matter how cringe they might seem to you, because some people might actually take comfort in them or it's their favorite fic and idk you may or may not have killed someone by deleting it, or have prevented a death by posting a fic you think's trashy, WHO KNOWS. they always say one man's trash is another man's treasure. always keep that in mind!

for everytime you feel your fic's cringe, remember you might've changed someone's life for uploading it.

just pls pls never delete. post them anonymously or orphan them, but pls never delete them. :((

the way I have heard so many talented fanfic writers say they started writing because they read someone else's fanfics that are so good they inspired them into becoming writers too? just proved my point that your writing is never 'in vain', even if you dislike it and think it could've been better, it's still good enough for someone out there that it becomes their source of inspiration and perhaps happiness. you'll never know.

but don't ever, ever belittle your own works. just because you don't like them, doesn't mean other people dislike them too. again, you'll never know. there could be someone out there who reread your works every day because those fics you wrote helped them escape reality for a while, they could be reading your works as a way to help get them through a hard time in their life. you'll never know.

your writing may have saved someone's life.

your writing may have inspired someone into pursuing their career and changing their life for the better.

several best selling authors started as fanfic writers, and the majority of fanfic writers started writing because they were inspired by someone's fanfics. you do the math.

your "silly fics" have permanent impact on this world, even if you think they're not good (they actually are good, I promise you, don't let your mind lie to you).

I mean ***I*** personally started writing my first fanfic about 7 years ago, and have been writing ever since, because I was inspired by my favorite fanfic writers. I still remember all the lines I like from those fics I read 7-8 years ago, I still think about those fics I read from 7-8 years ago and still remember the stories very well in my heart. I started writing because of them.

this blog would never have been created at all, if it weren't because of those fanfic writers whose works I read 7-8 years ago.

I wouldn't have so far written about 130,000 words this year alone, if it weren't because of those fanfic writers whose works I read 7-8 years ago.

to all the fanfic writers out there; your works inspired someone, your writing made a difference to someone's life.

[ebdanon]

hope you're alright after work <3 and tw for bugs and another long ask lmao

to be honest, we don't have access to mental health resources, that kind of stuff is expensive here, and we already spent a bunch on trying to figure out what was physically wrong with both of us first, during which time my husband (he got ibs) was not working because it was physically impossible for him, and I (thyroid issues) stopped getting paid from the freelance work I do (I'm still owed about 10k which is enough for a down payment on an apartment in the most expensive part in my country) which put us in a ridiculously tight spot. we had to move out of our apartment and start living with my in-laws, which is where more crazy has just been tacked on. it's been a very shitty couple of years in terms of what other people have been doing that directly affects us, but we're trudging on anyway. we finally started applying for jobs abroad, which we couldn't really do until we moved because it was constantly dealing with doctors and with health issues, and scrambling together money for bills and rent and overall living, and then the building got infected with cockroaches which was the cherry on top when we both finally said "we're outta here" and moved out in like 2 days (we knew the consequences of doing that). the day we decided to do that, we were up until 5am - me shrieking at each new baby cockroach I saw, and my husband killing them (I'm terrified of bugs), because a cockroach laid some eggs in a door frame in the apartment. that same week our vacuum made a loud noise and smoke just started coming out of it and it broke, the stovetop also broke, a repairman came and tried to fix it a bunch of times so we had no stove for 4-5 days (which was awful because my husband has to eat carefully cooked meals, and the only thing we could use to cook was the oven, which is ridiculously limiting on an already limited diet), and two of the ceiling lights went out. and then I got a flare up (different health issue) on top of everything which meant I was in bed for a couple of days. it was the worst week of 2023.

we've been applying for the last 6 months, and it's been nothing but rejections because we require visas to move to the countries we're applying to (it's the literal explanation we've been receiving which is a great thing as it's not our skills or something), but it's fine, one of us will find a job at some point (I hope soon) and we'll get to get out of this shithole of a country filled with shitty people. I'm definitely getting a therapist when we're out of here though, I've wanted to talk to one for years but my plan has always been to do that when I leave this country. Mental health is very much taboo here sadly, which contributes to many of the issues people tend to face. Also fun fact, the last time we applied for jobs abroad was at the end of 2019, and then the pandemic happened which meant all the embassy shut down and the applications got canceled (it was a different application system back then). The plan was to get the marriage certificate and start applying again, but the drama happened and we needed to decompress. Then the plan was to start asap after the decompression and then all the health issues happened. Have you ever seen a train wreck lmao it's just me trying to get the hell out of this country since I was 12 BUT IT WILL HAPPEN ONE DAY I JUST KNOW IT WILL (can you feel the desperation lmao)

i know that may have sounded worrisome but don't worry about me and my lore-filled asks, things will work out, they always do

i really hope you guys are able to get the hell out soon :( the job market here in america (idk where ur applying but might be the same elsewhere anyway because the pandemic fucked everything up for everyone) is absolutely atrocious rn so i wish you the best of luck!! you’re right when you say things work out i know they will for you 🫶 it just takes time unfortunately :( but hopefully soon

also as a fellow renter im crying for you with that apartment stuff jeez. it always feels like everything happens at once tbh

[ma3mae]

Chapter 4: Strange Beginnings

Author's note: AAAAGHH im BACK

so sorry for the long wait!! I often caught colds and i still have one and also had to do too much shit for my apprenticeship but AAA i finally did it 💕💕💕💕 i wanted to take it a bit slower with this fic and this chapter was like an opportunity for the both of them to finally meet each other properly. The ending got kinda rushed because i really wanted to finish this chapter tonight and im literally about to fall asleep 🥲 so hope you had fun and see you next time 💕💕♥️

Summary: Vi decided to accept your offer which leads to a lot of awkward interactions but hey the pizza gets eaten 👀

Warning: a lot of second hand embarassement?? and some swearing and more awkwardness. Have i told u how awkward it is?

Word count: idk like 5k something 🥲

Masterlist

Vi couldn't believe herself.

"What am I doing?" she mumbled under her breath. Her eyes were cast down onto the cold key in her palm.

Her hands were shaking due to the cold to a point where even she couldn't supress it.

Your hoodie and scarf were drapped over her shoulder. At the end, Vi couldn't bring herself to put it on.

She knew that you never had any bad intentions but a part of her wasn't able to just...

Trust this whole thing.

A stranger showing her such kindness was something she could never dream of experiencing in the Undercity.

The only act of kindness from a stranger she normally got is being able to live for another day if she did come across someone unknown.

And most importantly, you somehow knew her name.

That fact alone just screamed suspicious in her eyes.

Yet here she was.

Standing infront of the building's door.

The very building your apartment was in.

Vi didn't know for how long she had been outside but she definitely knew that she had to get inside sooner or later.

Her entire body was tensed up and slowly but surely she could feel the pain seeping into her body as the night grew colder.

Taking a deep breath, she took your key in her hand and began to raise it towards the lock.

"What the fuck?" she frowned at her hand, which couldn't stop shaking.

Was it due to the cold or the wrecking nerves, that kept thumping throughout her body?

Deep down she knew the reason for it but decided to shake it off and finally unlock this door because frankly, her body was hurting.

Not to mention that the exhaustion and hunger was starting to kick in really hard.

After a few times of trying and cursing under her breath, she finally managed to put in the right key into the lock.

Breathing in relief, she braced herself mentally and slowly twisted the key.

The slight creaking of the door echoed off the walls of the hallway, making her wince at that.

She really didn't expect it to be louder as she wanted it to be.

As quietly as possible, she made her way into the hallway while shutting the door behind her. Wincing at the shutting sound, she began to stealthily sneak into the building. Yet it proved to be a bit of a struggle due to her shivering body but she did somehow manage to make her way to your door.

Click

"WHAT THE-"

She quickly shut up as she got startled and nearly blinded by the sudden bright hallway lights, not wanting to wake you up with her sudden yelling.

After blinking for some time and letting her eyes adjust themselves to the light, she let out an annoyed huff.

She really needed to chill out for a bit.

< Getting scared by light? What the fuck, Violet?>

Ignoring her inner doubts, she continued to make her way.

Now she was standing infront of the real obstacle.

Your door.

She bit her lip as she gazed at your door. Uncertainty lingering in her eyes while she began to contemplate if this was truly a good idea.

For now she had to find some kind of shelter and she also desperately wanted to finally rest. That one nap from earlier really threw her off since it has been a while it had been so good  and with the combination of having been outside in cold temperatures for quite some time, just made the exhaustion crash onto her.

It didn't make it any easier that you were the only lead she had to get back home.

<Let's just go in. I've had worse >

She told herself as she inserted the key into the lock.

A last deep exhale was let out before she began to open the door, the light of the hallway seeping through the crack of the door.

She peeked her head through the door, not wanting to fully open it or else the light might wake you up if you happened to be in your living room.

And she for sure didn't want that.

As soon as the door was opened wide enough for her to slip through, she entered your apartment.

Closing the door behind her was an easier task this time since it didn't creak like the last door.

As expected, your entire apartment was dark. Only the moonlight illuminating the apartment as you had forgotten to pull down the blinders.

Well it was in the middle of the night but the only question was...

Where were you?

Tiptoeing her way further into your apartment while scanning it with her eyes in search for your figure.

She wasn't eager to meet you at this moment especially after that stunt from earlier and her general distrust towards everything.

She just wanted to know where you were so she wouldn't scare you like last time.

Peeking a glance at your kitchen, where you had been doing god knows what in Vi's eyes, everything seemed to have been cleaned up. There was no sign of whatever you had been doing earlier during her short "stay".

Continuing her search, her eyes caught sight of something lying on your dinner table.

Furrowing her eyebrows, she began to approach it.

It was something round with different looking things scattered across on it. Upon closer look, it were vegetables and some meat on it. The roundish edible looking thing seemed to have been wrapped around with a clear sheet of something.

Maybe so it wouldn't go bad??

Vi didn't know but her stomach was definitely hurting from hunger.

Growl

A growl rang through the room, making her curse underneath her breath. Eyes flickering around to see if you'd appear by any minute now.

Yet all she could hear was some slight shuffeling coming from your couch.

Narrowing her eyes at the direction of the sound yet also slowly making her way towards it.

As she neared the back seat of the couch with her head peeking over it, there she saw your sleeping form.

Breath hitching over as she realised that you could have woken up any minute if she hadn't been trying her best to stay quiet.

Yet a dreadful feeling came over her as she also realised that if you happened to wake up, she wouldn't have enough time to hide.

She didn't know what came over her. There was just something dreading about the fact that she still wouldn't know what to tell you and speak to you in general if you did happen to wake up out of nowhere.

She couldn't even voice out her doubt or distrust towards everything and you.

Letting her eyes linger at your sleeping form to make sure you were sleeping soundly, she couldn't help but notice the goosebumps on your bare legs and arms as you were only sleeping in shorts and a tank top. Not to mention that you seemed to be even slightky shivering. Also, your blanket seemed to have fallen off and was lying next to you on the floor.

Should she...?

No, she may not trust you but she for sure did not want you to end up catching a cold.

As quietly as possible, she began to make her way around the couch. While slowly bending down to grab your blanket, she kept her eyes trained on you.

< Please, don't wake up. >

She prayed as she picked up your blanket. Now she only had to cover you up.

She gently put the blanket over your body, making sure it would atleast cover you nicely.

Pulling the cover over your shoulders, she took one last look at your face. You were sleeping soundly, your face relaxed and your mouth slightly parted open. At a closer look, there were some crumbs at the corner of your mouth. Glancing at the table infront of the couch, there was a half empty bowl filled with chips lying on it. Vi had to surpress a groan at the sight of food because frankly ,the hunger was getting worse with each passing second.

She stood straight up as an idea popped up in her head.

Maybe she could?....

< Nonono, I'm not eating whatever's lying on that table.  I don't even know what's in it. >

Okay, now this was getting out of hand even for Vi herself.

There was no way that someone like you would poison your own food.

"Shit, I think I'm going crazy."  Vi told herself as she pinched the bridge of her nose between her index finger and thumb. Closing her eyes in exasperation, she opened them and took yet another glance at the food that even looked like it was beginning to call her name if she took a longer look at it.

"Fuck."

Vi had enough.

The hunger was getting to her head and no way she was gonna endure this any longer.

With quick and quiet strides, she made her way towards your dinner table. She slowly put her hand onto the clear sheet, looking to find a way on how to rip it away.

Crinkle

Clicking her tounge as the lightest pull at it made a noise, she proceeded to gently lift the plate on one side.

Looking under it, she found the end of the clear sheet. She pinched it between her index finger and thumb. Not only that but there was also a small note attached at the bottom of the plate.

Lightly pulling at the sticky note, she raised it closer to get a better look at it.

Eyes going wide yet also softening at the same second as she let her gaze linger at your note.

There, you had drawn a heart with what looked like to be a small doodle of Vi on it.

< Well, someone's an artist. >

Huffing through her nose while letting a small smile slip onto her lips, she gently put the note onto table.

Yet a frown creeped up towards her lips as she began to realise that this was the meal  you had been making for her earlier and yet all she did was run away.

Next time, she'll definitely atleast thank you for having cooked for her even though she had done nothing but give you trouble.

Maybe you weren't so bad after all.

Turning her attention back onto the plate, she only had to lift the sheet without making too much noise.

A small sound of glee escaped her mouth as she successfully pulled it off of the roundish dish.

Then, she put the plate back onto the table while letting the sheet fall onto the floor. She'll just pick it up later but now her mouth was definitely beginning to water at the sight of the dish.

Licking her lips at the undeniably delicious sight, she was also happy to see that it had been cut up already.

Taking a slice of it, she first brought it closer to her nose, wanting to get to know this foreign dish through smell.

The fact that it had gotten cold some time ago didn't bother her at all.

Hell, to her it smelled like heaven.

Now it was finally time to taste it.

Taking a bite out of it felt like a sensory explosion on her tounge. She wasn't sure if it was due to her immense hunger or of eating it for the first time, yet she sure knew that was now added onto her list of favorite things to eat.

And that was something, considering she hadn't gotten the privilege of tasting foreign food nor has she ever been picky to begin with.

Vi couldn't help but slip out a quiet moan at the godly taste on her tounge. Before she had realised it, the slice in her hand was gone.

But who was she to stop at one slice?

Taking a seat at the table, she began to fully gobble down the food and enjoy it.

It had been ages since she had last tasted something so good. She wasn't sure if even Jericho's could hold up on that.

Yet she kept her eyes strained at the very couch you were sleeping in. Her gut feeling telling her that there might be a chance of you waking up.

Welp, she might as well enjoy her meal while she can.

Meanwhile....

There was you, lying awake since she had entered the building.

The shutting sound of the building's door had never been really quiet and it had startled you awake as you were nearly drifting off to sleep.

You did fall asleep earlier but your worries somehow made sure that you would atleast wake up once in a while.

And one of those moments happened to be as you heard the shutting sound of the door.

At first, you assumed that it must have been one of your neighbours coming back from where knows what.

You didn't really know everyone personally in this building after all.

Yet that assumption quickly got demolished as you heard a familiar voice ring through the hallway.

That made your eyes snap open in an instant.

Sitting straight up, you crawled to the end of the couch.

Straining your neck to take a peek into the hallway and to the door, you listened closely.

Faintly, you could hear footsteps getting closer to your door.

You weren't sure if your mind was beginning to play tricks on you.

There was no way, it could be her.

Then there was a familiar clinking and the sound of sliding your key into a lock.

FUCK, WHAT DO I DO

You didn't have enough time to hide and running away wasn't an option.

You weren't ready to see her at all.

So the only option you had was...

Please let the theater classes in my childhood be worth it.

Not even words could describe how hard it was to act asleep.

It felt like a lion's breath had been fawning over you neck as she put the blanket over your shivering body.

No, you weren't cold at all.

You were ready to jump out of your window if it meant escaping this situation because frankly, you were shitting your pants.

You had to strain your face extremely hard to look relaxed as much as possible.

Well apparently the theater classes payed odd because she did move away.

And here you were.

Lying on your couch and listening to her literally gobble down onto the pizza you made for her.

No fucking way

You couldn't believe it.

She actually came back.

You almost wanted to laugh if it weren't for you being scared shitless.

From the sounds of it, she seemed to be enjoying the pizza as she would sometimes even let a satisfied groan slip out of her mouth.

It almost made you feel bad for her, remembering that it must have been a while since she had gotten to taste anything decent.

Judging from her outfit, she seemed to have been staying in Stillwater which meant shitty inmates, abusive enforcers and horrible living circumstances and most of all...

Solitary confinement.

Yet at the same time, your anxiety was getting the best of you as the thought of having to talk to her again seemed more than a challenge.

Deep breaths.

Just take deep breaths.

Maybe while she's distracted...

I could take a peek?

No.

Your mind was screaming no but you had to make sure if it was really her.

( and your inner desire of wanting to see her not looking at you like a lion watching it's prey.)

Lifting your head in a slow motion like movement, you peeked over the backseat of the couch.

Oh.

Oh.

You were so dead meat.

You could already imagine yourself shaking hands with the grim reaper as you locked eyes with her.

All you could do was blink at her.

Raised eyebrows and wide eyes were all you got as she swallowed her last bite of the final slice.

Nope, I'm not doing this.

You lied back down and closed your eyes, wishing for this to be nothing but a mere dream.

< Wh-? >

Eyes darting across the room only to slightly narrow themselves at the couch.

Vi didn't know what to do.

Should she just blatantly approach you about everything?

She still wasn't ready to talk to you and she could sense that the feeling was mutual.

Yet it did confuse her for a bit. First you were kind and seemed approachable and now you were trying to hide the fact that the both of you had locked eyes with each other.

Not to mention, you did look like a deer caught in headlights.

That almost made Vi slip out a chuckle.

Almost.

But sooner or later, the both of you would talk to each other anyway.

So this time, Vi decided to make the first step.

Literally.

You heard the slight screeching sound of the chair being dragged across the floor.

Slowly but surely, light yet firm footsteps began to near themselves to your couch.

Only to stop at the foot of it.

Then you heard a thump.

Squinting an eye open, you saw her having taken a seat on your arm chair.

And she was still looking at you.

Startled, you pull the cover over your eyes, shielding you from her sight.

At the back of your mind, you could see yourself slamming your head against a wall while drowning in second hand embarassement.

You were pretty sure that your actions were giving off major "Please don't talk to me" vibes because you. just. weren't. ready.

Apparently she was because you could hear a short huff coming off from her direction and her clearing her throat.

"Uhm..."

You flinched at that.

WHAT IS SHE ABOUT TO SAY OHMYGOD A A AA

Your grip was squeezing the covers over your head and fearing for whatever she might say, even if you understood none of it.

< Wow. >

Okay, Vi had to definitely switch her tactics to somehow get you to even look at her.

Her discomfort growing as the lingering guilt began to increase, thinking that it must be her fault for your frightened state.

To get you to talk to her, she had to first calm you down and hoping to somehow convey her words to you despite the language barrier.

It's okay.

She's done this before.

First she had to calm herself down because if she's not coming off as calm then you defnitely won't be coming out of the cover any sooner.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath.

A brief image of a crying Powder hiding under the covers flashed in Vi's mind and hearing her whimpering voice beg for her big sister to fight off the monsters under her bed.

That very image getting replaced with your hidden figure as she opened her eyes to look at you.

Leaning forward with her hands put together and elbows propped up onto her knees, she spoke with a soft voice.

"Hey... It's okay. I'm not here to hurt you. You can keep hiding if you want to but I promise that... I won't be doing anything to you."

Her hands fiddling with her bandages, she now only to hope that it would work on you.

Your ears perked up at the sound of her soothing voice, the grip on the cover lessening.

Judging from the tone of her voice, she didn't mean any harm and it did pique your curiousity, since it was the first time that she had spoken to you in such a light tone and in a non hostile way. 

Slowly letting the covers slide off of your face, you took a peek at her.

Seeing you finally decide to come out of your "hiding spot", she gave you a loopsided smirk.

"Thought I'd never see you."

Uhhh??

You scrunched your eyebrows at that, not knowing how to understand her smirk.

Was she making fun of you??

You didn't know.

Yet she seemed to be expecting some kind of reaction for you and you didn't want to keep her waiting, so the first thing your brain opted to do was to make you give her a small wave.

"H-Hi??", you managed to slip past your lips, your voice slightly shaking as the fear was still settled deep in your bones.

Vi took notice of the slight shaking and tried to think of a way to keep you grounded.

So she decided to kinda amuse you by introdrucing herself even though you somehow know her name already.

"I'm Vi and you?"

Well, her plan backfired as she saw your eyes widen and your eyes beginning to shift around the room in hopes of avoiding her gaze while confusion seeped through your bones.

SHE KNOWS THAT I KNOW HER NAME SO WHY TF IS SHE SAYING IT???

Was all you could think as you saw her inhale deeply and let out a sigh at your reaction.

If it weren't for your fear then you would have felt a bit offended by it because it seemed as if it was a sigh out of annoyance or even exasperation???

Yet Vi decided to stay true to her plan to atleast get you to talk to her.

"Sssh, sssh, hey it's okay. I only wanna talk to you. I won't be doing anything to you. "  she told you while motioning with her hands at you to calm down.

Finally stopping to look anywhere else but her, you anxiously shifted your eyes towards her.

Precisely, you were looking between her eyebrows so you wouldn't have to look at her directly but she'd think you were.

A trick you had learned from your grandma as a child if you couldn't look someone in the eyes.

Seeing that you were looking at her again, she pointed yet again at herself and said "The name's Vi." , then she pointed towards you.

"And you?"

You realise that she was asking for your name and luckily, you somehow manage to stutter it out.

"I-I'm Y/N" you said while copying her movement and pointing to yourself.

Vi nodded at that.

"Well, nice to meet ya again. Properly this time. " she adds as she shortly remembers your last encounter.

Then, she extends her hand towards you.

Your eyes slightly widening in surprise, not having expected her to get so friendly towards you at all.

Vi had to supress a scoff at that. She could understand where your fear was coming from but she couldn't deny it either that she was growing impatient.

Here she was, trying to get you to calm down but you weren't really making this easy for her and frankly, she was in a clinch.

So she might as well introduce herself since she doesn't know for how long she'll be stuck here anyway.

Seeing the clear hesitation in your eyes to take her hand, she let out a sigh and began to pull it back.

"Wait!"

Vi halted her movement, gazing at you with expectant eyes.

Chewing the inside of your mouth, you slowly slipped the cover off of your body and began to crawl towards the end of the couch.

Shit, this was really intimidating to you since her steel blue eyes kept watching your every move.

The moonlight shining through the window giving them a dangerous glint.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you hesitantly slid your hand into hers.

Your breath hitched as you felt her calloused skin against yours.

Vi did the same but only subtle. Your hand seemed so delicate in hers. Soft skin free of harsh straining.

It also dawned on her how long it has been since she had touched someone without the intention of beating them up.

The last time was...

Before it happened.

You slowly shifted your eyes upward towards her face, only for the both of you to lock eyes once again.

The whole situation was unbelievable for the both of you.

Your mind had a lot of trouble actually understanding that this was truly Vi herself.

In her very flesh and blood.

And right now, the both of you were shaking hands with each other.

Is this how it felt like to shake hands with the grim reaper?

Because you for sure would believe it if you'd be dead right now and this was one of your weird wishes getting granted.

You snapped out of your thoughts as you felt her giving your hand a squeeze.

Giving you playful wink, which only made you rapidly blink at her and your cheeks getting a bit warm, she loosened her grip on your hand and lastly, pulled her hand back to herself.

Silence began to fill the room as she was now waiting for you to say something.

You had begun to  fiddle with the end of your shirt in your hands after she had pulled her hand away, your eyes looking at everything but her and the thumping in your heart not ceasing.

You were still scared of her yet you couldn't deny the fact that she was more than simply "good looking" in your eyes and that her wink had made you feel more than flustered.

But you also knew that you couldn't keep her waiting for too long especially after she had made the first move.

Managing to gather some courage, you opened your mouth.

"Uhm-"

Yet before you could say something, you heard her let out a loud yawn.

Your head snapped up at her, the sudden loud yawn scaring you for a second before seeing that it came from her.

Vi apologetically held her hand up as she covered her mouth with her other hand, trying to stifle up her  yawn.

The exhaustion coming back stronger than before as the only kind of sleep she had gotten, was the nap from many hours earlier.

This was it.

Your chance to escape this awkwars situation.

"UHm, you're tired, right?"  You exclaimed a bit too loudly for your liking, even surprising her but you continued to gesture your words towards her by putting your hands together and onto your cheek while leaning it onto the back of your hand.

Luckily, Vi got the gist of what you meant and nodded at you.

You put up your palm infront of you.

"Wait here."

Before Vi could even ask about what you had just said, you had already gotten up and went to your room.

Vi only blinked at that but decided to play along and wait.

Well, she just hoped that you wouldn't take too long with whatever you were planning to do or else she would just get up and see what you're up to.

Right now you were going through your wardrobe in hopes of finding something for her to sleep in.

Did it seem like you had been waiting for a chance to escape come by?

Yes, it did because you were definitely doing that.

But were the both of you clearly too tired to even hold a proper conversation (if you could even call it that)?

Yes, you were.

So you decided to help the both of you by deciding that it was now the perfect time to sleep.

Because you really didn't see this conversation going well and you didn't want to risk her getting all grumpy.

"Okay, this should be good." You breathed out as you took the two pieces of clothing out of the wardrobe, a spare blanket and closed it.

You also decided to give her your own pillow since it was a bit more comfortable than your spare pillow since it was worn out and flat.

Well, you had been pkanning to get a new one anyway.

"When" would be another question though.

Hearing the door close behind her, Vi peeked her head out to look behind the arm chair, only to see you holding various items in your hands.

Specifically things to sleep with.

Vi could only raise an eyebrow at that as you went back to the couch.

Without any words, you put the stuff onto the couch and went to the table infront of it.

Pulling it at it to put it a bit away from your couch, you went back and pulled at a tiny rope sticking out in middle of the couch's footing.

"What the fuck?" Vi couldn't help this one as she just saw you somehow pull out a part of the couch out of the couch???

You weren't ignoring her exclaim yet didn't know how or even what to reply it to it so you opted by giving her a quick sheepish smile as you continued to prop up a makeshift bed for her.

After having properly fluffed out the pillow and the blanket, you handed her your clothes.

More like quickly put them into her lap and before she could even react, you told her:

"Uhm... I'm gonna go sleep."

You said in a hushed voice as you pointed towards yourself, your room and tilted your head while letting out fake snores.

"Wait, I still want to-"

You didn't let her finish as you immediately had made your way towards your room as soon as your own words had left your mouth.

Quickly closing the door behind you and jumping into your bed, you wanted nothing but to get some peace after that whole experience and you really didn't want to be held awake.

You had a feeling that she had wanted to ask you something but it was literally in the middle of the night and the person who needed sleep the most wasn't you but Vi.

And there was no way you were gonna let her force herself to stay awake because atleast here, maybe she could sleep in peace without any disturbance.

Vi continued to sit there for a few minutes, needing to let it sink in what had just happened.

She felt frustrated.

She wanted answers and she had finally gotten you to talk to her but she just had to let it slip out and make you see how tired she was.

Vi wasn't dumb. She knew that the situation put you in an uncomfortable position and you had seen her yawn as an opportunity to escape.

But she also knew that she had to rest sooner or later and she was also feeling a bit guilty for keeping you awake.

Letting out a sigh, she looked at the clothes you had put on her lap.

Taking one of the two clothings in her hands, she held it up infront of her.

It was a simple dark blue shirt with a fish on it.

The second clothing were comfortable looking black shorts.

Vi didn't see it as necessary to change into some kind of extra clothing to sleep in.

Yet her prison outfit has been on her for a long time and frankly, it wasn't the most comfortable thing to be in.

Well, her pants were but not the shirt and it had been a while since she had gottsn the chance to put on some new fresh clothing.

So she decided to change her clothes.

She let her previous clothing fall onto the floor, not bothering to pick them up.

The clothes you had given to her fitted her perfectly.  The shirt was a bit on the baggy side but the fabric itself felt soft.

Slipping under the cover you had given to her, it felt as if she was lying down onto the cloud.

The exhaustion slapping her across her face as she let out a satisfied groan.

"Fuck, how is it so soft." She asked outloud into the pillow.

She knew that forcing herself awake wouldn't be giving her any answers sooner so she bad decided to try it again in the morning when the both of you would be awake enough to have plenty of nerves to deal with each other.

You on the other hand, were hoping that the interaction between the both of you won't be as awkward as tonight but honestly your gut feeling was telling you otherwise.

Both of youl let out a sigh as you snuggled deeper into your pillows

Only one question ringing through your heads as you closed your eyes:

How will tomorrow go?

-----------

Taglist:

@imdumbhi @chunkysuga @sleepless-addict @iloveallmenandwomen @artsandshadows @skullz-system @icedcoffeedisaster @imtallerthanyou @cutttteeee @miraeluc @94cjones @vanivivs @heartfairy @piltoversapphics @iwillbiteabitch @primrose-x0x @luvmeijii @slut4jinx @brittleebear @landoftempanos @thatghostlykid @xxmadxlovexx

[ackermans-freedom-inc]

bro do i have some angst for YOU. Okay sO

Ya know those oneshots where Levi has a nightmare about reader dying and he wakes up and she’s not there but she comes back and comforts him?

WHAT IF IT WAS MORE ANGSTY

Levi wakes up and reader isn’t there. She went missing on expedition a week ago. And Levi has to deal with it. Hange, Erwin, and Mike can all tell this man is a WRECK i mean he looks BAD so they try to comfort him but it doesn’t work.

Another week passes. Levi’s mental and emotional state get worse. But, at about 4 a.m, the Survey Corps gets a knock on thier door. AND ITS READER.

Turns out she was trapped under a fallen tree during the expedition and couldn’t get out, but after spending DAYS digging around the area she was at with her hands she manages to haul herself out. Prob has a minor leg fracture. She had to walk the massive distance all the way home, and survived by only traveling at night and scavenging food and working gear from soldiers of the past. Now this girl prob has a bit of trauma bc i’m p sure being trapped under a tree for several days and then walking home with a fractured leg while trying to avoid man eating monsters might be stressful. In the end, both Levi and reader comfort each other 😌

A/N: SJAKFLAFJALF @hidehaskak YOUR ASKS ARE ALWAYS SO ANGSTY HOW U HAVE SUCH IDEAS!!!! Thank you for trusting me to keep writing your ideas im so honoured. Hope I captured what you wanted and hope YOU ENJOY. <333

You Weren’t There - Angst, hurt/comfort, blood mention

Levi woke in a sweat, his hand already reaching out to feel for your body next to him. To assure him you were there and not like he had dreamed, remaining arm reaching out to him as you yelled your love for him before the light left your eyes, small body torn apart by the hideous beasts. His eyes wide opened at what he felt. The bed was cold. You weren’t there.

Feeling a chill run down his back, Levi got dressed, running down the halls, checking in every room, even the stables. You weren’t there.

He finally burst into Erwin’s room, finding Hanji and Mike already in there, eyes looking towards him in sympathy.

“Erwin!” his voice was raw from screaming your name. “Y/N…have you seen her? She…”

“Levi…” Erwin’s voice was soft as Hanji patted his shoulder, Mike getting off his chair and offering it to Levi as he also pressed a soft hand against the frazzled man.

“Levi…she’s been missing a week now.”

“A fucking week?” the man was delirious from lack of sleep. Every time he closed his eyes all he would see is you. The way you pressed a kiss to his cheek away from prying eyes. The way you told him you loved him before riding off with your squad, promising to would come back safe. You weren’t there.

Every night his friends would gather when they heard his door slam open. Every night they would look at his face, gaunt and lifeless eyes meeting theirs frantically as he once again screamed about your disappearance, as if it had just occurred. Every night they would comfort him, usually having to resort to a light sedative.

Night after night this occurred. And night after night, you were nowhere to be found. No body, no blood, no sign of where you had disappeared off to.

It was unheard of for someone to survive that long out there, and the other veterans all tried to explain that to Levi. But the man wouldn’t hear any of it. You were alive. Because if you weren’t why was his heart still beating? He had long admitted to the fact that he could not live without you. So why. Why was he here, suffering alone? You had promised him. And you would never lie.

By the fourteenth night Hanji was consulting with Erwin about putting an IV in. Levi’s eyes were bloodshot, his sleep useless as he woke up more agitated. He refused to eat anything more than bread, washing it down with water. He didn’t want to eat if you didn’t bring it for him. He didn’t want to even think about tea that wasn’t brewed by you.

He just didn’t want to think anymore. You weren’t there.

So when the knock echoed through the quiet barracks that night, just when the sky was starting to lighten, everyone thought they were looking at a ghost. Your beautiful hair was matted and tangled, dirty and grime caked on. Your uniform was torn, edges the colour of rust where your blood splashed against it. Your nails were almost gone, and your bloodied fingers trembled. You were carrying gear, strapped together with cables, barely holding together as you wretched onto the floor of the main hall, body shutting down after so many days out there alone. Just as his name fell across your lips, he appeared, on his nightly search for you. His eyes widened as he lost his footing in his rush, pulling you close to him as you both fell, cushioned against his body as he took the impact.

You were both sobbing, clinging to him as you whispered how sorry you were, how you had fucked up. Him, silent tears running down his face as he mapped your features with his hands. Ten fingers, two arms, your beautiful eyes, nose, ears, and mouth. He crushed you to him, eyes closing. Not even caring that you were covered in dirt and grime. Finally. You were there. You were there.

It took a lot of coaxing between Hanji and Erwin to get the both of you off the ground. Mike ran to draw a bath while Hanji tended to your wounds. Most of them had healed on their own already, so all they could do was wipe off the dirt and disinfect the area. You had hissed when they assessed your leg. The swelling and heat a telltale sign of a fracture. Levi refused to let go of your hand, clutching it against his chest while Hanji worked. In between Hanji’s medical questions, Erwin asked his own. He wanted to know exactly what happened to you.

So you told them. The blinded titan was in a rage, arms swinging as it roared its pain. You had managed to dodge its swing and sliced its nape but failed to account for its weight as it fell against a tree. As the titan sizzled away, steam rising, you were dragged down by your hook, no time to release it, which resulted in the tree, and you, crashing to the ground.

You spent the better of 2 days digging, your fingers bloodied as you clutched your leg, ripping off the material of your sleeve to tie your leg, an attempt to prevent the bones from shifting too much. Many a time, titans tried to pry the tree off you, their teeth and hands snapping dangerously close. But they were all smaller sized, lacking the strength to pull the tree any distance to allow them better access to you. You had laughed, thinking the world still merciful.

When you crawled your way out from under the tree, you limped stubbornly towards base. Always during the night, only a stick to protect you from the other dangers out in the forest. You scavenged for food, berries, leaves, roots. Whatever you could find. When you came across fallen soldiers, you assessed their gear, trying to put together some type of working hook and gas canister to allow you rest in a tree during the day when the titans were roaming.

And so you made it home. Limping on your swollen leg night after night, refusing to give up. Refusing to die alone out there when you had promised Levi. Tears fell down your cheeks as you finished your explanation. Levi’s eyes were wide in shock, unable to comprehend the sheer will that possessed you to haul yourself home, facing dangers without working gear and a broken leg. He was so thankful you had made it back but was guilted that it was your promise to him that caused you to suffer through all the pain. But you were there. With him. In his arms.

He held you close as Erwin and Hanji stood speechless at your story, letting Levi lead you to your bath when Mike reported back, breathless in his haste, that it was ready for you.

The others bid you a soft goodnight as Hanji reminded you to stay off your leg as it healed, Erwin already relaying to Mike your bravery and determination.

That night, Levi refused to let you go. You were wrapped up in his arms, leg tucked away from danger as he held you close. He had his head pressed to your chest, listening to the beating of your heart. You breathed in his scent, still trembling in disbelief. It took many hours for the both of you to finally fall into a restful slumber, each having to make sure, beyond a reasonable doubt that the other was indeed, there and alive in their arms. You were there, and so was he.

[lovee-infected]

OK i hope i'm not bothering you but im the same anon who made the castlevania connection and i've been thinking :3c [Castlevania spoilers for the general lore/tw death, fire] since Lisa got burned because she was considered a witch in middle ages i think Malleus' s/o would get killed because they are married to a fae, a fae royalty to make things worse [if i remember correctly Faes and humans have problems in twst Canon but im not sure] that would wreck Malleus since his s/o was the first human to steal his heart and now they are gone because of their own kin, also Lilia could take the role of Death as Dracula's servant since death was very royal to Dracula and has been there with him for the longest time.. Sorry if any of these sound incoherent i can't speak English jdhsjshjssbsjj

Congrats nonnie, Castlevania au exists now👏👏👏

Note: You don't need to have watched Castlevania to understand this au, it just follows similar dynamics and storyline as the series!

Warning(s): Major character death, mildy yandere themes, pain, pain pain and lots of pain. Malleus having another mental breakdown as if being an orphan and growing without any friends hadn't already done enough of damage to him...

It's pretty well known that there has been wars between fae and humans in the past, there's also a possibility that Malleus's or even Silver's parents might've been killed during those wars. Malleus on the other hand would one day be the King of fairies, therefore he's most likely expected to marry a fae of a proper social, and royal class like him.

If Malleus waa meant to fall for a human of all creatures, it's not that far from mind that not only the valley of thorns, but rather the whole community would object to his marriage as the future King. At this point most of them (expect those close to him like Lilia, Sebek or Silver) don't even care about Malleus's desires and decisions; his genuine feelings for a man child isn't enough to wash away the hatred and bitterness the whole fae community hold toward humans, therefore going against Malleus's wish and... getting rid of s/o would be crucial if the royal family wants to avoid another war.

While Malleus believes this marriage would be a chance for fae and humans to reunite, the chaos caused between the fae community is overwhelming; even members of the royal Court riot when the truth behind young prince's secret lover is unfold and soon enough, (y/n) is marked as a threat to the entire valley of thorns.

Yet, Malleus would still choose to marry his beloved child of man regardless of the great antagonism his marriage faced, he is the King and he has the final word to decide whether he should marry his s/o or not.

As he's aware if the hatred his people may hold towards his s/o now, he trusts you with his trusted and loyal bodyguard, Silver and Sebek to protect you from any possible danger; leaving the castle as well is considered to be a threat, so the s/o needs to be under extreme protection which insures their safety.

However, several years after his marriage to s/o, Malleus decides maybe the word is now ready to accept this child of man as their King's partner since it's been years since the last wave of oppositions toward the King's marriage.

Perhaps it's finally time for human and fae to reunite as fairies have finally accepted his s/o, however...

...The betrayal that leads to his beloved human's death and Malleus's mental break down was never going to be from the fairies,

It was meant to be from humans, the s/o gets killed, by the hands of their own people.

(Y/n) has been marked as a threat toward humanity because they were married to Malleus, the King of darkness and mister of all evil.

Malleus spent decades protecting his child of man from the deadliest of faes and scariest of monster, only for them to get betrayed by their own kind, their own people.

Humans...humans, the grudge he has been for this pathetic word over centuries, way before he met (y/n), way before he fell for one of those pathetic humans. He thought s/o could change the way he saw humans, he thought he was going to forget the wounds those disgusting creatures had left on his heart, he thought he could finally come to trust humans but ah, how fool of him.

My my... wasn't he being just too naive? Thinking that there was actually a way for humans to change but no, humans will never change. He laughs at his own patheticness for trusting humans with his beloved child of man's safety as his heart shatters to thousands of pieces, (y/n) is gone, he lost them, he lost them.

It was his very own fault for being such a fool, his love for s/o had blinded him to the point of forgetting what humans are truly like. His hatred toward humans shall last till the very end of this pathetic world and will takeover each and every of those pathetic creatures expect for one, (y/n).

S/o is the true love of his life and the only human Malleus will never hate, they were superior in each and every aspects Malleus could've used to measure a creature's worthiness and purity, if (y/n) of all human had to be the one to die, then no one, not a single soul of them deserves to breathe.

Way through human history, humans have done nothing but to destroy and sacrifice other creatures for the sake of their own greed and fear, their patheticness, their unworthiness, their selfishness.

Humans are the cause of nothing but pain and harm, therefore they shouldn't exist.

...If this, is meant to be how his story ends, let it also be the end of all humans who took his beloved, his child of man, his (y/n) from him...

[magitekhearted]

//Okay, now that I'm home again, it's story time! (Personal information under the Read More, and a lengthy explanation behind Why The Fuck My Moods, Emotions, And Brain In General Are Literally All Over The Place)

Did you know that hormonal birth control and Adderall don’t interact well? I sure didn’t! 8D As I’ve mentioned in another post, I have Bipolar II, ADHD, and other issues. For this story, the Bipolar II and ADHD are the important ones.

I was seeing a particular psychiatrist for the last six or seven years, but until this last year, I never considered I might have ADHD, even though all of the signs now and in the past fit like a glove. However, that psychiatrist didn’t believe that adults could have it -- he believed that you “outgrow” it. So I had to jump through hoops to get tested elsewhere.

I was officially diagnosed with it, which is great, because that means I know what I’m working with! But when I brought it up to my psychiatrist, he refused to acknowledge the diagnosis. He also refused to put in my files that my PCP went ahead and started me on Adderall, but was kind enough to, every time I spoke to him for sessions after that, harp about how he disapproved, and how if it had been him, he never would have put me on the medication. I reached a point of accepting that we’d never see eye-to-eye on this matter, started just mentally rolling my eyes at him when he would start up, and admittedly kind of forgot that he refused to put anything at all about it in my records.

Aforementioned psychiatrist retired a few months back, so I was given a new psychiatrist, and all was well, or so I thought.

Fast-forward to the end of last month, I finally saw a gynecologist about excessively heavy bleeding during my monthly cycles, and about the fact that in the days before my period starts, I get extreme mood swings. We decided to give birth control a try, see if that would help with both issues at the same time.

Now, ordinarily my default state of being is low-energy, and I lean much more in the “depressed” direction when it comes to my moods. Two weeks ago at this point, I started on the birth control. Within two days, my mood did a complete 180; I went completely and utterly manic. It was simultaneously awesome, annoying/frustrating, and terrifying, because holy shit I felt amazing, but I was making impulse decisions out the ass(like for example spending $140 on replacement chords, games, and controllers for the Wii. Please keep in mind I had not touched my Wii in very nearly a decade, and I didn’t even know if the thing still worked) and in general I was a total wreck. It was Not Good.

I called the doctor about it, assuming it was the birth control, and after some back-and-forth between myself, her, and the new psychiatrist, we were left very confused as to what was going on -- because birth control shouldn’t have that drastic of an impact on my moods. Not like this, anyway.

It was only when my new psychiatrist was updating my file with the birth control information that I offhandedly mentioned I was also on Adderall, and she just. Had this amazing “AHA” moment on the phone with me, revealing that now she understood: it was the Adderall and the birth control causing the mania, since Adderall is... well, a stimulant.

So I’m off the birth control, my gynecologist has prescribed me an alternate medication, and now I am waiting (im)patiently for the med to finally kick it from my system so that I can return to being a semi-functioning human being.

Tl;dr, I am so sorry to everyone who’s stuck dealing with me OOCly lately. 8′D Please don’t let my current inability to Shut Up For Two Seconds deceive you, I actually have all the confidence and boldness of a sad, soggy, limp noodle.

[azucanela]

HOLDING YOUR DRINK [GENDER NEUTRAL HEADCANNONS]

FT. AKAASHI KEIJI, IWAIZUMI HAJIME, SUGAWARA KOUSHI, TSUKISHIMA KEI

HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST | 1K CELEBRATION MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: In which Y/N needs someone to hold their drink. 

WORD COUNT: 1.9k

WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol, mild violence, based on the tik tok trend, one curse word, nothing explicitly mentioned but be weary of the implications of drug use and such [lmk if there are any others i should include]

A/N: this is tik tok’s fault but yeah kjashdkjash

AKAASHI KEIJI

HEADCANNONS

ah. sweet, sweet, pretty boy akaashi

always pretty, but sweet? haha... thats about to change.

this is probably bokuto’s fault, akaashi feels the need to supervise him though, especially after that one time he left him unattended at a party and he jumped off the roof into the pool and nearly drowned because he forgot he could swim

yeah.

akaashi isn’t one for pda aside from the basic stuff like hand holding and maybe the occasional kiss on the cheek and he knows you are perfectly independent and thats all good and dandy, but even when hes being social and talking to his friends he still has one eye on you and one eye on bokuto

when you finally make your way over to him, asking him to hold your drink while you use the restroom, he simply nods to you, takes your drink in one hand, and covers it with the other, nonchalantly.

to say that akaashi, your boyfriend, is shocked when a random person comes up to him claiming to be your boyfriend comes up to him and asking for your drink, would be an understatement

almost instantly he calls out, “bokuto.” his voice is loud and firm enough that bokuto is looking in his direction almost instantly, ceasing his dancing on top of a table. when akaashi waves him over, he gives him a look of confusion but ends up coming over to where akaashi and this stranger is

and he enters the conversation hearing the stranger say, “im their boyfriend and they asked me to get their drink now hand it over.”

bokuto, naturally, is confused goes to say, “wait i thought y/n was—”

“bokuto.” akaashi silences him with a look, extending the hand with your drink to bokuto, much to the chagrin of the stranger and only serving to further confuse bokuto, though he accepts the drink nonetheless.

akaashi wordlessly takes bokutos freehand and places it on top of the drink to cover the top, before turning to the guy, who had started complaining

and then punching him in the face

never in his life could bokuto recall a time in which he was scared of akaashi

until now

akaashi turns back around to bokuto, taking your drink from his hand and shielding it once more, as though he DIDN’T just resort to violence. 

you’ll never know this happened until one day someone talks about how akaashi is the calmest and kindest person ever and bokuto is like HA REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU PUNCHED THAT GUY CLAIMING TO BE Y/N’S BOYFRIEND IN THE FACE?

gosh darn bokuto that was supposed to be a SECRET you SNITCH

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

HEADCANNONS

HASDHJGAD

THESE PPL GOTTA BE DUMB TO EVEN TRY LMAO

oikawa probably dragged iwaizumi to another party or something and iwa-chan over here was like bruh there is no way in hell that i am the only person that is going to be sober while dealing with a DRUNK oikawa, thats too much to handle alone

so if oikawa doesn’t make you go, then iwaizumi will, for his sanity please agree to go. he’d never force you but PLEASE, he can’t do this alone.

honestly iwaizumi is the perfect person to hold your drink ngl, he’s definitely sober at whatever party he does to, not the type to drink your drink on accident or on purpose, our boy iwa is perfect per usual

you probably tell him you gotta use the bathroom and ask him to hold you’re drink and he’s like, “yeah, of course. take your time, i got it.” and then you leave, he is now standing alone, leaning against a wall. he’s holding your drink, with his palm covering the top while scrolling through his phone with his freehand AND watching oikawa to ensure he doesn’t accidentally decapitate himself because iwa MULTITASKS

a few people probably try to hit on him and he’s like no <3 im in a committed relationship have a nice day <3 

and then some random guy approaches

now iwaizumi is a very intimidating person so im shocked this person had the BALLS to even try but they start spewing nonsense about how you told them to come retrieve you drink from him 

at some point the guy probably implies that you’ll be going home with him and thats when iwaizumi sees oikawa passing by, releasing a laugh before calling out for Oikawa, “hey! shittykawa come here!”

oikawa is pouting but he comes over and sees the guy and is like, “oh whos this iwa chan?

and iwaizumi is laughing again as he gestures to the guy and goes, “apparently the guy whos taking y/n home.”

and then he goes, “do me a favor and hold this oikawa.” and oikawa is handed your drink, something that raises questions in him because why iwa chan?

he doesn’t have time to ask of course, because iwaizumi has already rammed his fist into the stranger’s face, effectively knocking him into the floor. ah the power of the ace of aoba johsai :)

he definitely would’ve kept going, threatening the guy as he wrecked his face until the message got through his thick skull, had you not arrived and witnessed the mans bloody nose, stopping iwaizumi from continuing

“he’s not worth it.”

“no, he’s not. but you are.”

i am in love with iwaizumi lol

anywho

you’re drink is very safe with the one and only iwaizumi hajime. 

SUGAWARA KOUSHI

HEADCANNONS

IM CANT BREATHE THIS MANS

y’all are visiting home since you’ve been off at uni for quite some time now, the gang is back together, daichi, asahi, kiyoko and a few others y’all met through volleyball in high school

you and suga have probably been in a relationship since you left high school, because it took y’all three years to figure yourselves out. its basically just reminding each other to ya know... take care of yourself mentally and physically

and of course, now that you’re all of age, you go to a club, maybe a college party that a friend of a friend is having

regardless, suga is always going to have an eye on you, he’s gonna know your exact location at all times. though he isn’t going to follow you around or anything, everyone once in a while he’ll drop by, hand on the small of your back while you talk to some old friends—or new ones idk maybe you’re an extrovert. he’s checking on you though! he asks if you’ve eaten, have you been drinking water, is there anything you need, are you feeing okay?

then he’ll press a kiss to your cheek and leave to go hang out with daichi and suga, they’re all just sitting on the couch, maybe with some new friends too, maybe with old ones from his karasuno days 

you come over, all like, “babe would you mind holding my drink while i go to the bathroom?”

he’s like yes ofc ofc, and he takes your drink, probably sits with his elbow resting on his knee, holding the drink between his legs with his other hand over the top of the drink. he’s pretty subtle about it, you wouldn’t notice as he just nonchalantly takes the drink from you and carries on the conversation that there’s a small furrow in his brow because why is the world like this, you shouldn’t need someone to hold your drink

everyone would honestly forget the drink isn’t his

now if someone happened to come over claiming to be your friend or maybe even a potential hook up— something sugawara would laugh at as your boyfriend, probably pretending to be intrigued by the idea before revealing who he is — well let me just say... 

a lot of people forget that out lovely mom friend and resident king, sugawara koushi, is also so very very very chaotic person.

which is why i KNOW when you hand sugawara that drink, if anyone even TRIES to take it from him, to ask him for it claiming you sent them, he will bark. suga WILL bark, he learnt how to just for this situation. he will also hiss. 

moral of the story: i trust sugawara koushi with my drink

TSUKISHIMA KEI 

HEADCANNONS

rip to whoever thought TRYING was a good idea

anywho

tsukishima did not want to go to this party, you probably dragged him to said party, and he only went because its you that dragged him to the party. 

he’s probably vibing alone in a corner or something, maybe engaging in conversation on occasion if someone he tolerates happens to be at the party, otherwise he’s stuck to you like glue, just following you around, arm over your shoulder, shameless pda as he wraps his arms around you and lays his head in the crook of your neck as you talk to your friends

then you’re like lmao babe free me i need to use the bathroom, also watch my drink, and he’s like okay FINE be that, and he takes your drink and watches as you make your way through the crowd of people

he’ll probably wait by the bathroom for your return because ew people he doesn’t want to have to socialize— especially not alone. and if anyone tries to socialize, hit on him, anything, he’s really just gonna straight up make it clear that he is not in the mood

it doesn’t really occur to him to cover the drink until some random person comes up to him

claiming to be a friend of yours and having come to collect your drink for you

there are several issues here, first of all, tsukishima was fairly sure he knew all your friends and he did not recognize this stranger at all, and he was pretty sure if he asked their name he wouldn’t recognize that either

secondly, tsukishima knows you would’ve come to get not only your drink but him because he made it very clear that if you abandon him at the party to fend for his own he would be rather unhappy

so when tsukishima questions the person some more and realizes his suspicions are correct, they are in fact; a liar. he laughs. he genuinely laughs because wow YOU THOUGHT you could fool him?

idiot.

he’s covering your drink with his palm— because he isn’t going to set it down? that’s just plain dumb, and tsukishima isn’t dumb. no, he’s covering it with his palm, and then using his free hand to grab this stranger by the neck and slam them into the wall he had just been leaning on because he needs to make it very clear that lmao this is NOT okay :D

this guys feet almost lift off the ground but tsukishima probably towers over the stranger because he’s a tall guy, and suddenly he’s threatening them, telling them that if they ever try something like that again they won’t be leaving the party.

“tsukki?”

hey look its you! 

tsukishima offers the strange one final, warning of a smile, before patting their shoulder awkwardly and stepping away from them to turn to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder before nonchalantly just saying, “lets go. this is lame. oh— and here’s your drink.”

tags:

@therainroguefanfiction​ @beifongsss​[girl idk if you even asked to be here but like now you are bc i forgot akjshdsajkdbs oops] @iwaizoom​ @shawkneecaps​

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Found (Outside the Screen) (CC!Dream x GN!Reader) Part 2

Request: That dream angst fuckin wrecked my heart..any chance for a part 2 with comfort(im not the og requester so if not thats fine its just OUGH my heart)

I have written this three times over because tumblr didn’t save it. THEN. Tumblr doesn’t show it to ANYONE unless they check my account. This happened to my Ranboo fic as well... I will honestly cry if no one sees this.

Once again. This is a completely fictitious story and version of Clay.

TW: Panic attacks, self deprecating thoughts,

"(Y/n)!"

His voice echoed through the house as you scrambled around corners to escape the possible wrath of your boyfriend. Or maybe even soon to be ex boyfriend.

Despite living in this house with him for a little over two years, it was beginning to feel like a maze. You couldn't tell which way was left and which way was right, your head spinning with panic as you gasped for breath.

He's gonna find you...

The house wasn't even that big, and quite an open concept, so you had no idea why you were finding it so confusing. All you knew at the moment was...

Get out.

Once your eyes landed on the door that lead out, you made a beeline towards it and flung it open. Maybe you should've known better than to attempt to run from the manhunt god...

The footsteps pounding against the floor not too far behind you startled you enough to jump outside and slam the door behind you in hopes of giving yourself enough time to run farther.

There were plenty of things failing to register in your mind as you ran down the empty sidewalks. Such as the poor choice (or lack) of shoes you were wearing, or even the heavy night rain pelting down on your shaking body.

Your lungs were burning.. But your brain had thrown itself so far into fight or flight mode that you had no care for anything around you, hardly blinking twice as the signs of unfamiliar street names flew past you.

Eventually, when you physically couldn't breathe any longer, you sat on a bench and took awhile to think. The consistent rain pelting down on your head was actually a decent grounder to help you snap yourself out of it... But that only caused more confusion and another wave of panic to wash over you.

Where... were you?

Doesn't matter. Don't go back.

Oh God... He hates you..

Why wouldn't he..?

He was too embarrassed to show you to his chat!

What did you do that was so embarrassing?

God.. What was so wrong with you that he stayed in his streaming room for days on end!?

Pulling your knees up to your chest, you choked back a few sobs, trying your best to keep what was left of your composure. Very quickly, however, you gave up on trying to hold yourself together and broke down, hiding your face in your knees.

Time seemed to pass by way too quickly but also way too slowly at the same time.. Like time itself was giving you the one finger salute. When you finally stopped crying, you leaned back against the back of the bench and gave a shaky sigh before you decided to attempt to think rationally again.

You had no clue where you were. Nothing looked familiar. What time is it? No clue, you don't have your... Your phone!

You quickly scrambled to your pocket to pull out the cellular device, and stared at the black screen for a few seconds. Anxiety was the reason for your hesitance as you stared into your reflection, frowning slightly. Without thinking twice, you pressed the button and the screen lit up with various arrays of colours.

78 Missed calls from Clay���

2 Missed calls from George👓🇬🇧

7 Missed calls from Sapnap🔥

Was... He so mad that his friends were trying to yell at you too? You tilted your head slightly and scrolled through the other notifications on your lockscreen.

Twitter seemed to be losing their minds over your boyfriend's stream and wondering who the stranger was. Seeing the headlines flooded you with immeasurable guilt and you almost put your phone down again, if your phone didn't start buzzing.

You glanced down at the screen and say Clay was making call number 79... Man, he was persistent.. and he would probably continue to call until you answered...

Your finger hovered over the decline button, before slowly moving over and landing on the green one instead. "...Hello...?"

"(Y/n)...?" Had... He been crying...? "Oh my god! You're alive!" He gasped out with glee before giving a few sobs of... relief...?

"...You... Aren't... Mad?" You whispered very softly and hesitantly, your voice scratchy and sore from crying.

He sighed and there was a little bit of shuffling as well as a few male voices in the background. "No. Not in the slightest... Where are you? I want to apologize in person.. And when it doesn't sound like you're in a hurricane.."

You lifted your head up to look at the rain that was continuing to pelt down on you before looking around. "..I'm not sure.." You heard your partner echo your statement in question form as you looked for street signs through the rain. Glancing back at your phone, you saw the screen light up again, this time it was a warning label.

Your battery was almost dead...

"C-Clay.. My phone is going to die.." You murmured softly, your heart filling with dread as you turned down your brightness and closed any unnecessary apps.

There was a little bit of clattering and shuffling on the line as Clay hurriedly walked from the windows to the door, trying to see you from the home. "G-give me landmarks! Hurry!" He practically begged as you shot up from your bench, ignoring the burning soreness in your legs.

Spinning around quickly, you began listing off a few company buildings you saw, trying to shout over the rain and a few cars driving by. "Yeah-yeah! There's also that little sushi place beside the restaurant too.."

You heard the furious typing of his computer before another almost sob of relief. "You're on Rosewood Avenue... How the hell did you run that far? Okay, you're going to walk in the opposite direction of the sushi place until you reach a road called Miller Road, got that?" He waited for a verbal noise of agreement before continuing, "Once you get there, turn left and keep walking straight until you get to a steakhouse. I'll meet you half way, if you don't see me there, don't move unless you have to. Got it?" He asked firmly, with a small hint of desperation in his tone.

You rubbed your face as you mentally repeated the directions to yourself. "Yeah.. Yeah.. I got it." You began to walk along the sidewalks, your shoulders beginning to tremble from the water induced shivers trailing up and down your spine.

"..(Y/n)?"

"Yeah?"

"I lov-"

Your phone died..

Pulling the device away from your head, you pressed the buttons a few times before groaning and shoving it into your pockets as you began to walk.

Your mind was blurry but also hyper aware along the walk to the road where Clay told you to go. 'What was he going to say? If... He doesn't hate me... was he going to say- No.. no. He hadn't said that line in over a few months now.. No reason why he would say it now..' You mentally scolded yourself.

The rain didn't seem to be too keen on letting up as you walked through large rippling puddles. Your clothes were soaked, your hair completely drenched and you were pretty sure you were gonna need to buy a new phone with how much your current one was getting waterlogged..

You rose your arm to shield your face from the onslaught of water that a car had caused by driving through a large puddle before running your hand down your face.

Part of you was still a bit.. angry... at Clay... He had ignored you for so long and wanted nothing to do with you.. Then suddenly you spill hot coffee on yourself and then boom, you have the man more focused than when he has a good speed run seed. What about all those times you were begging him to come to bed, or at least eat dinner at the table with you? Did you only matter when you were in pain?

Biting your lip, you shook off the thought as you looked up again to see the steakhouse that you were directed to go to, the signs glowingly and people shuffling in and out through the doors...

Then there was another man, standing under a large black umbrella wearing a damp lime green hoodie...

Only you'd recognize that face anywhere where others wouldn't.. Standing in the street lights perfectly was your boyfriend, Clay.

Your heart trembled but also melted slightly upon seeing that he wasn't paying attention to his screen anymore. You. He was focused on finding you...

As you began to walk closer, you saw him lift his head and stare at you for a few seconds before dropping the umbrella and lunge forward to wrap you in a loving embrace. "I'm sorry.." Was the first thing he whispered, his voice almost as hoarse as yours. "I know.. that a simple apology will never excuse what I put you through... You cared for me, and even after a stupidly ignored you... You still didn't leave, or get angry. I don't deserve you, I know that, and you have every right to be upset, angry or whatever you're feeling right now.. Please, it doesn't matter how long it takes... Just let me make it up to you and let me prove myself worthy of your love again.."

Your lips parted in surprise as you stared at him, the streetlight poorly capturing his normal beauty, but still doing it well enough that you felt your heart soar. "Clay..." Your eyes traced his features, his puffy and reddened eyes and his cheeks stained with tear tracks, "You have a lot to work and make up for... I'm not going to forgive you immediately, but I'm not going to leave you.. We can work things out.. Together, okay?"

He eagerly nodded and gently held your face in his hands before pressing a light kiss to your forehead. "I'll break away from video editing and streaming for a while.. So I can focus on repairing things with you.."

You buried your face into the male's sweater, that was beginning to become soaked as well from the rain and you, and closed your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him.

"(Y/n)?"

"Mm..?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Clay."

[icarushasfallenfromthestars]

That dream angst fuckin wrecked my heart..any chance for a part 2 with comfort(im not the og requester so if not thats fine its just OUGH my heart)

So both you and the og requester asked for a part 2, which means I'm definitely gonna do it! (I'd do it even if the og didn't ask so lmao) I HAD TO REWRITE THIS 12 GOD DAMN TIMES BECAUSE TUMBLR IS SHIT AT SAVING THINGS

I'm honestly so glad people enjoy my writings! Feel free to request more! My inbox is open and I have no requests lined up yet!

Once again. This is a completely fictitious story and version of Clay.

TW: Panic attacks, self deprecating thoughts,

Part one

Found (Outside The Screen) (Dream x GN! Reader) Part 2

"(Y/n)!"

His voice echoed through the house as you scrambled around corners to escape the possible wrath of your boyfriend. Or maybe even soon to be ex boyfriend.

Despite living in this house with him for a little over two years, it was beginning to feel like a maze. You couldn't tell which way was left and which way was right, your head spinning with panic as you gasped for breath.

He's gonna find you...

The house wasn't even that big, and quite an open concept, so you had no idea why you were finding it so confusing. All you knew at the moment was...

Get out.

Once your eyes landed on the door that lead out, you made a beeline towards it and flung it open. Maybe you should've known better than to attempt to run from the manhunt god...

The footsteps pounding against the floor not too far behind you startled you enough to jump outside and slam the door behind you in hopes of giving yourself enough time to run farther.

There were plenty of things failing to register in your mind as you ran down the empty sidewalks. Such as the poor choice (or lack) of shoes you were wearing, or even the heavy night rain pelting down on your shaking body.

Your lungs were burning.. But your brain had thrown itself so far into fight or flight mode that you had no care for anything around you, hardly blinking twice as the signs of unfamiliar street names flew past you.

Eventually, when you physically couldn't breathe any longer, you sat on a bench and took awhile to think. The consistent rain pelting down on your head was actually a decent grounder to help you snap yourself out of it... But that only caused more confusion and another wave of panic to wash over you.

Where... were you?

Doesn't matter. Don't go back.

Oh God... He hates you..

Why wouldn't he..?

He was too embarrassed to show you to his chat!

What did you do that was so embarrassing?

God.. What was so wrong with you that he stayed in his streaming room for days on end!?

Pulling your knees up to your chest, you choked back a few sobs, trying your best to keep what was left of your composure. Very quickly, however, you gave up on trying to hold yourself together and broke down, hiding your face in your knees.

Time seemed to pass by way too quickly but also way too slowly at the same time.. Like time itself was giving you the one finger salute. When you finally stopped crying, you leaned back against the back of the bench and gave a shaky sigh before you decided to attempt to think rationally again.

You had no clue where you were. Nothing looked familiar. What time is it? No clue, you don't have your... Your phone!

You quickly scrambled to your pocket to pull out the cellular device, and stared at the black screen for a few seconds. Anxiety was the reason for your hesitance as you stared into your reflection, frowning slightly. Without thinking twice, you pressed the button and the screen lit up with various arrays of colours.

78 Missed calls from Clay💚

2 Missed calls from George👓🇬🇧

7 Missed calls from Sapnap🔥

Was... He so mad that his friends were trying to yell at you too? You tilted your head slightly and scrolled through the other notifications on your lockscreen.

Twitter seemed to be losing their minds over your boyfriend's stream and wondering who the stranger was. Seeing the headlines flooded you with immeasurable guilt and you almost put your phone down again, if your phone didn't start buzzing.

You glanced down at the screen and say Clay was making call number 79... Man, he was persistent.. and he would probably continue to call until you answered...

Your finger hovered over the decline button, before slowly moving over and landing on the green one instead. "...Hello...?"

"(Y/n)...?" Had... He been crying...? "Oh my god! You're alive!" He gasped out with glee before giving a few sobs of... relief...?

"...You... Aren't... Mad?" You whispered very softly and hesitantly, your voice scratchy and sore from crying.

He sighed and there was a little bit of shuffling as well as a few male voices in the background. "No. Not in the slightest... Where are you? I want to apologize in person.. And when it doesn't sound like you're in a hurricane.."

You lifted your head up to look at the rain that was continuing to pelt down on you before looking around. "..I'm not sure.." You heard your partner echo your statement in question form as you looked for street signs through the rain. Glancing back at your phone, you saw the screen light up again, this time it was a warning label.

Your battery was almost dead...

"C-Clay.. My phone is going to die.." You murmured softly, your heart filling with dread as you turned down your brightness and closed any unnecessary apps.

There was a little bit of clattering and shuffling on the line as Clay hurriedly walked from the windows to the door, trying to see you from the home. "G-give me landmarks! Hurry!" He practically begged as you shot up from your bench, ignoring the burning soreness in your legs.

Spinning around quickly, you began listing off a few company buildings you saw, trying to shout over the rain and a few cars driving by. "Yeah-yeah! There's also that little sushi place beside the restaurant too.."

You heard the furious typing of his computer before another almost sob of relief. "You're on Rosewood Avenue... How the hell did you run that far? Okay, you're going to walk in the opposite direction of the sushi place until you reach a road called Miller Road, got that?" He waited for a verbal noise of agreement before continuing, "Once you get there, turn left and keep walking straight until you get to a steakhouse. I'll meet you half way, if you don't see me there, don't move unless you have to. Got it?" He asked firmly, with a small hint of desperation in his tone.

You rubbed your face as you mentally repeated the directions to yourself. "Yeah.. Yeah.. I got it." You began to walk along the sidewalks, your shoulders beginning to tremble from the water induced shivers trailing up and down your spine.

"..(Y/n)?"

"Yeah?"

"I lov-"

Your phone died..

Pulling the device away from your head, you pressed the buttons a few times before groaning and shoving it into your pockets as you began to walk.

Your mind was blurry but also hyper aware along the walk to the road where Clay told you to go. 'What was he going to say? If... He doesn't hate me... was he going to say- No.. no. He hadn't said that line in over a few months now.. No reason why he would say it now..' You mentally scolded yourself.

The rain didn't seem to be too keen on letting up as you walked through large rippling puddles. Your clothes were soaked, your hair completely drenched and you were pretty sure you were gonna need to buy a new phone with how much your current one was getting waterlogged..

You rose your arm to shield your face from the onslaught of water that a car had caused by driving through a large puddle before running your hand down your face.

Part of you was still a bit.. angry... at Clay... He had ignored you for so long and wanted nothing to do with you.. Then suddenly you spill hot coffee on yourself and then boom, you have the man more focused than when he has a good speed run seed. What about all those times you were begging him to come to bed, or at least eat dinner at the table with you? Did you only matter when you were in pain?

Biting your lip, you shook off the thought as you looked up again to see the steakhouse that you were directed to go to, the signs glowingly and people shuffling in and out through the doors...

Then there was another man, standing under a large black umbrella wearing a damp lime green hoodie...

Only you'd recognize that face anywhere where others wouldn't.. Standing in the street lights perfectly was your boyfriend, Clay.

Your heart trembled but also melted slightly upon seeing that he wasn't paying attention to his screen anymore. You. He was focused on finding you...

As you began to walk closer, you saw him lift his head and stare at you for a few seconds before dropping the umbrella and lunge forward to wrap you in a loving embrace. "I'm sorry.." Was the first thing he whispered, his voice almost as hoarse as yours. "I know.. that a simple apology will never excuse what I put you through... You cared for me, and even after a stupidly ignored you... You still didn't leave, or get angry. I don't deserve you, I know that, and you have every right to be upset, angry or whatever you're feeling right now.. Please, it doesn't matter how long it takes... Just let me make it up to you and let me prove myself worthy of your love again.."

Your lips parted in surprise as you stared at him, the streetlight poorly capturing his normal beauty, but still doing it well enough that you felt your heart soar. "Clay..." Your eyes traced his features, his puffy and reddened eyes and his cheeks stained with tear tracks, "You have a lot to work and make up for... I'm not going to forgive you immediately, but I'm not going to leave you.. We can work things out.. Together, okay?"

He eagerly nodded and gently held your face in his hands before pressing a light kiss to your forehead. "I'll break away from video editing and streaming for a while.. So I can focus on repairing things with you.."

You buried your face into the male's sweater, that was beginning to become soaked as well from the rain and you, and closed your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him.

"(Y/n)?"

"Mm..?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Clay."