#(finally covers VA deserves)

[stromuprisahat]

[papurgaatika]

Scarcely Can Speak For My Thinking, What You’d Do To Me Tonight

Pairing: VA! Joel Miller x f! reader 

Minors DNI with my work please!!

A/N: howdy howdy my lovelies. I know what yall are thinking: papaya didn't you post a fic literally less than two weeks ago? And to that I would say yes, yes I did. However, I have been working on this one for a while and somehow managed to finish it on the plane! Thank you as always to my lovely beta readers @carlynkurin and @joelsdagger The title is a Hozier lyric (are yall really surprised?) This is officially dedicated to my beloved @joeloverture and despite my darling vetty's step off of tumblr, she truly deserves the world. also if you're mean to her i will find you. that is a threat

I hope y'all enjoy the read, and that the filth keeps you going in times of need. Peace and love on the planet Earth from me!!! Remember that TLOU is created by a zionist so please look at the resources at the end of this fic and in my bio on ways to donate and educate yourself!!

Tags: Erotic voice actor Joel! AU, Young Joel, No outbreak AU, smut, condescension, degradation, f! masturbation, praise, squirting, smut, LOTS of dirty talk, oral (f receiving) friends to lovers, fingering, voice kink, Joel loves thighs, Joel Miller arm appreciation, the reader is a mess, no use of y/n, Joel can pick reader up but he’s HUGE so it makes sense, no description of reader, 18+ Word Count: 5.2k

Summary: you have been using audio erotica to get off for a month, and manage to accidentally let it play in Joel's car, leading to an awkward night in 

You let out an exhausted huff as the dim light of your phone reflected on your face. Your headphones connected, your vibrator was charged, but in some godforsaken twist of fate, there was not a single thing worth listening to on the newest audio erotica page you could find. Videos hadn’t been doing it for you, the ethical concerns were too high for you to be horny, and as much as you liked a good fanfic, you had gone through most of the ones you liked and needed something new.  You click on a post with semi intriguing tags, immediately rolling your eyes and exiting out of it when you hear the all too familiar vocal fry of men trying to sound hotter. News flash: you don't. 

You were moments away from calling it a night and opening your backlog of smutty ao3 fics when another post caught your eye. You let out a snort at the username save_a_horse and glance at the tags. Okay you were definitely interested now, a degrading instructional… you hit play with baited breath, prepping for the worst, but you were so mistaken. 

“Filthy little thing aint ya?” the voice rings in your ears, heat pooling between your legs embarrassingly quickly. “Must be so pathetic if you’re clicking on a mean stranger's voice to get ya’self off” his voice was like hot honey. Sickly sweet and keeping you waiting for his every word but with an edge that stung in the best way. You shuffle yourself back onto the pillows and throw your covers off, fully prepared to enjoy this rare gem. Your breathing picks up, heavy with want as the man in your ears calls you a desperate little slut. 

“Go on, get your toy wet slut” his voice croons out at you “know ya have one, too fuckin’ needy not to.'' Always eager to please, your lips find the base of your curved g-spot vibrator and let the soft plastic fill your mouth, drawing sounds that were almost too debauched for you to be sitting in bed alone. “Bet you love havin your mouth filled like that.. Lord, I'd love to have your pretty little lips around my cock” your eyes practically roll back at that, spit running down the base of your toy before he finally tells you to put it in.  

“Atta girl, such an eager thing” The toy sinks into your sopping cunt with ease as the voice envelops your mind, solely focusing on him. You listen with intense obedience as he tells you how deep, how quick, how much you were allowed. “Go on then, fuck yourself on it. We both know you want to” 

You let out a soft cry as you slip the toy in and out, the curve just hitting the spot that makes your back arch. Your breathing hitches as you press down on the button to turn the vibrations on. “Creamin’ all over yourself I bet,” it was like he could see you. Like he was able to see your arousal dripping onto the sheets below you, how the damp sheets clung to your thighs as they shook and twitched with pleasure. 

“Bet you’re so damn close.. Go on then slut, cum while listenin’ to me'' he taunts slightly as your orgasm washes over you in waves. “Gonna ruin ya,” his words are assertive, less of a promise and almost a threat “ain’t gonna cum unless it's to my voice anymore. Good fuckin’ girl”  You take a few steadying breaths as the audio clicks off, and you blink up at your ceiling unsure of how to go on from there. You glance down at your phone which has made its way to the opposite side of your bed and move to grab it.

You hit play on another audio. 

As the weeks go on, you and the mysterious cowboy in your ears have an immensely good time together. You practically spend every night listening to every one of his audios, leaving silly comments on the ones that make you cum particularly hard. It might have been an issue, how often you found yourself waiting for him to upload, how quickly you would pause your tasks to listen to new updates, but you were having fun and it wasn’t like you were hurting anyone in the process. 

You had just finished an audio before the blaring noise of a horn outside your door rattled you. The clock on your phone taunts you as do the several missed calls and texts from your best friend. “Fuck. fuck okay” you grumble, grabbing a towel and wiping yourself off before tossing a pair of comfy shorts on and grabbing your bag, and heading outside “have you never heard of a virtue called patience miller?” you quip as you slide into the passenger seat of his truck 

“Had it for the first five minutes, but about 10 minutes after that, I was damn ready to break your door down myself” he scoffs “what took you so damn long?” he rolls his eyes as you fiddle with the bluetooth in his car, not wanting to be stuck with what you call ‘old home music’ 

“I was just finishi-” your words are cut off when the sound of a moan plays over the speaker. Just your luck. You kept the grumpiest man alive waiting and then played porn in his car. Hooray for you. “Jesus fucking-” you squeak, fiddling with your phone and closing out of the app “Joel-” you start, cheeks burning and excuses already at the tip of your tongue, before he silently shakes his head and puts the car in reverse. 

The ride back to his house is awkward to say the least. “Joel listen I didn't mean for-” you mumble out meekly, but his sharp gaze on yours has you clamping your mouth closed immediately. You fiddle with your fingers, thinking about playing music, but it just doesn’t feel right anymore. The grip Joel has on the steering wheel is practically iron-clad, his knuckles almost white with the tension as he pulls into his driveway and puts the car in park. You walk into his house with a huff, your weekly game nights off to a bit of a rocky start, but you’ve had to deal with worse with him. Joel had given you moral support when your menstrual cup had gotten “stuck” during one of your first times using it, he could deal with knowing you listened to porn. 

You plop down onto his couch, stretching your legs out on the coffee table while he gets you a glass of iced tea. You take a sip of your drink and mentally prepare yourself for how bad he was going to tease you about this, but are met with shocking amounts of silence. For a man who is ruthless on game nights, the lack of trash talk and absolute avoidance was almost irritating you. Finally, after you beat him in uno for a third time in a row, you snap “What is your issue tonight miller?” you groan, placing a +2 card down “Listen I know that was awkward but we’re both adults I don't see what the big deal is'' 

Joel groans and places another +2, changing the color (much to your annoyance,) “just drop it, nothin’s the issue”  You, petulant and stubborn as ever, did not drop it. You huff as you have to take like 5 cards from the deck before getting one that you can play, and narrow your eyes at him. 

“Bullshit” you move to sit cross-legged on the couch “I never beat you in this game, something is wrong with you tonight,”  it was almost as if nobody had ever taught you not to poke a sleeping bear. Or maybe you figured that the bear was your best friend and probably wouldn't bite your head off… probably. 

“Just drop it peaches,” his words are terse, hands gripping his, now slowly diminishing, uno cards much tighter than he needed to. You groan again when you have to get another few cards. The irritation at his childish behavior, coupled with the stack of 20 cards in your hand makes you more of a menace than you probably should. 

“Don't be such a baby, Miller,” you poke his leg with your foot knowing full well he hates it, a yelp leaving your lips as he grabs your ankle and pulls you forward “Joel!” Your cards fly out of your hand 

“Told you to fuckin’ quit it peach.” His voice is a low timber, stirring something deep in your belly. “Never fuckin’ listen to me” 

You just snort at him when he releases your ankle, moving to pick up your cards, “you suck at uno today Joel” you hmph, rising to your feet “'m gonna get something else” you hear Joel protest and try to grab at your arm but you’re too determined and he’s far too comfy to get up quick enough.  You manage to make it to his spare room, swinging the door open, imagining you’d see a shelf with his board games only to stop dead in your tracks, “what the fuck-”

What you had always assumed was just his spare junk room or random linen closet, was what looked like an at home recording studio. A desk with a PC and speakers, full microphone set up, and what you could only assume was something to help with soundproofing  “What the fuck Miller?” Your voice is slightly full of awe, “are you recording shitty male superiority podcasts now?” you tease, a sly grin on your face. 

Despite how pleased you are with that crack at him, he looks absolutely unamused. He practically clomps over at you, big finger poking your ribs ``you know damn well I ain't doin’ that shit.” He rolls his eyes at your teasing. The idea of Joel Miller getting on the internet to talk about women in a way that wasn't him sitting at his desk going ‘they’re the best damn thing’ was laughable. He was a perfect gentleman to everyone, except maybe to you, but frankly you deserved it for all the shit you gave him. 

You squeak when his finger prods at your skin “okay, okay well what creepy shit are you doing in here then?” you wiggle your eyebrows at him, sauntering to his PC set up. The computer and speakers were calling out to you like a siren, and you did not have the common sense to plug your ears. 

Joel knew you. He could read you like a fucking book with how close the two of you were. He used to say that the one braincell you had spent fifty percent of its time inside his mind with how predictable you were to him. “Peach do not fuckin’ dare-” his voice is low, warning you. 

If you had better self preservation skills you would have probably heard the alarm bells ringing in your head telling you that he was serious, or paid better attention to the way his sweats were a little more tight. But you unfortunately were a complete menace, so neither of those items really registered to you. You clap your hands in an evil little giggle when you move the mouse “still no password? Shit you make my life so fucking easy-” you grin as you see the different clips of audio layered together in whatever program he uses 

Joel has somehow silently appeared behind you, his hand pulling you away from the computer. “Quit it peach, I’m not fuckin’ around,” he grits out, the hold on your wrist almost impossibly tight. He means business this time, and despite how much of a hellion you can be to him, you didn’t have a death wish. 

You scrunch your nose at him trying to pull your wrist out of his grip “okay jesus chri-” you yank your hand away from his, elbow bumping into the keyboard and are cut off with the sound of a gravely moan coming out of the speaker. Both you and Joel look like deer caught in the headlights. Your eyes flick between Joel, whose face has gone impressively red, and the screen of his computer.  “I- joel this is-” you stumble over your words, unsure of what to say in this situation. 

“Not a fuckin’ peep.” he practically growls at you. Your mouth clamps shut as he leans over you and presses pause on the audio. Your mouth is drier than it had ever been. That was a clip of your best friend, the one who was looming over you at this very moment, moaning into a microphone. You were certain that if you had listened any closer you would have been able to hear the sounds of his hand stroking his cock. The slight creak of his chair, the wet noise of the lube, or was he a spit guy? He however, was not interested in sharing any more of the audio with you, and you would deny it if anyone asked, you were a little disappointed. 

You need to say something, you had to, and despite your better judgment telling you not to, you do. “I mean you sound nice-” You sound nice?? You were so fucking ridiculous, even you knew that wasn’t the thing to say. Joel’s eyes darken at your words, and for a moment you fear he’s going to kick you out, to get truly pissed off at you for the first time since you finished his Dr. Pepper stash.  “I didn't mean-” you try to backtrack “I just meant- it... You sounded like you were enjoying yourself at least-'' you were actively digging the hole that you were in deeper, rambling and stuttering, all while Joel just stared at you silently, his eyes burning into you

You swallow hard, his eyes still not leaving yours “listen I can go I'm sorry I shouldn't have-” you go to make a beeline out of the room but a firm hand pulling you back into the chair stops you. You fall back with an oof and look up at Joel, who by all accounts looked pissed but there was something else. His pupils were blown and his eyes trace every single one of your movements. The bear had managed to lock in the own cage you had set out for him. 

“Didn't tell you to leave.” he practically grunts at you. Ladies and gentlemen, your best friend, always the most well spoken person in the room. You move to protest again, but the look he gives you stops the words before they even form on your tongue.  you bite your lip and fiddle with your fingers unsure what to do “think I sound nice peaches?” his voice cuts through the anxious rambling in your brain and you're almost certain you've heard him wrong 

“Huh?” you look back up at him through your lashes. He was leaning against the wall where his microphone was set up. His sweats were riding low on his hips and his hoodie covered the toned muscles of his arms, that if anyone asked you had never stared at. The tanned skin you never dared to fantasize about in your bed. The hair that covered his arms, the veins that often made more appearances when you asked forced him to do manual labor that you refused to do yourself. 

“Asked if you think I sound nice, Peaches?” he hums, raising a questioning brow at you. your mouth opens and closes ridiculously a few times before you simply just nod at him  “that's good..” he muses as he comes back up to you “do you think about me?” he prods, a patronizing pout on his lips as you gape up at him. “when you're listening to those dirty little audios and lettin’ your fingers touch that needy cunt?”  you can't help but squeak at his words. the way he said them, the way he spoke was just so… familiar  “come on, pretty peach, tell daddy what you think about when you're fingering that slutty little pussy” he practically grins at you and it fucking clicks. 

Daddy. Daddy. It was him. The stupid cowboy, the random man whose voice sent your tummy into knots, the one who had been getting you off for weeks now was your best friend.  “Joel-” you practically whimper at him. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest and also very distinctly between your legs. “Listen i didn’t know it was you-” there’s a shit eating smirk on his face, one that you would have told him to wipe off his face before you smack it off in any other scenario. 

“No?” he hums at you, his brow quirked up as he towers over you in that stupid recording chair “didn't know it was me when you were commenting all those pretty little reviews?” You whimper out a noise, somewhere between a no and a general sound of timidity, as his hand tilts your chin up to meet his eyes  “Lemme see if I can remember what it was you said before I got you in the car today peach?” he takes a moment to obnoxiously tap his forehead mocking the way you recall things “what was it you said? ‘This made me late to see my friend, but it also made me ruin my sheets’? Was that it peaches?” 

You take a shaky breath, your skin burning under his intense gaze, chin still in his hands. You nod softly at his question, knowing that if you didn't, he would just push you until you did. His grin turns wolfish at your confirmation, and you feel him shift his legs between yours, pushing them apart “yeah peach?” he tuts at you “made me wait for almost 20 minutes outside your house. just so you could cum to my voice… ain’t real nice of you” You take a wobbly breath at his words and try to reply, unsure of what you would even say. An apology maybe, an explanation? But before you can even move to open your mouth he’s cutting you off again 

“Woulda just given you the real thing baby,” he tuts at you “all you had to do was ask.'' His voice is low and almost condescending. You shouldn’t let it turn you on, you should tell him to fuck off, but you feel yourself gush at his tone, your bottom lip getting caught between you teeth. He whistles at the look on your face, his cock practically straining against his sweats, “bet you’re just creamin’ in those slutty little shorts baby'' his words aren’t a question, he’s stating it like he can read you like a book because he knows he can. His legs shift to press your legs further apart until your knees are bumping into the arm rests, your eyes unwavering from his.

Your breath is caught in your throat as he leans down to you, his lips pressed up by one of your ears “Listen to me like this peaches?” he whispers into your ear, a warm breath making you shiver before he moves to the other side “like having me in your ears with your legs spread?” 

“Yes.. fuck yes yes I do-” your words are rushed and lustful as you feel his hands dip into the waistband of your panties. Your hips jolt up into his touch, panties absolutely drenched with your arousal. Your eyes flutter shut for a moment, lips parting with a silent cry of pleasure. 

“Knew she’d be droolin’ all over” he hums as he brings his slick covered finger up to his lips and tastes you with delectable pop when he pulls off. “Tastes like I fuckin’ imagined. Like a fuckin’ peach” he groans and for a moment you swear you could cum just like that. 

“Shit Joel please-” he cuts you off with a shake of his head and a shushing noise, as he steps away from you. Your legs are still spread against the chair and you practically whine when he moves away from you, flicking on his recording set up. “Joel what-” he shushes you again, giving you a look that leaves no room for argument. 

“Quiet,” he mumbles, fiddling with the mic and pulling the rolling chair closer to it. “Like listenin’ to me so much, thought i’d use you for better effects. You okay with that peaches?” he asks, looking down at you. Despite the teasing and the mockery, you knew he would stop if you told him you didn't want it. But the idea of him stopping, even for a moment was going to make you explode. You nod, maybe too eagerly for someone about to get fucked on microphone, and he grins. 

“God always knew you were fuckin’ desperate for it” he kneels between your legs, and you stifle a giggle when his knees pop.  “Quit it you menace” He swats at your thigh playful smirk on his lips, making you jump slightly. “Gotta stay real quiet for me, understand?” you watch with bated breath as he moves the mic so it rests delicately in the tension filled space between your spread thighs and his face. 

You nod, lips parted, pupils blown, cunt practically dripping for him. He lets out a soft hum of approval, lips pressing a soft kiss to your thighs “nothing fuckin’ softer than a pair of soft thighs” he muses, half to himself, half to you and the mic “could just live between them forever, die happy if a girl pretty as a peach would let me bury my face there.” You feel yourself clench around nothing, feeling maddeningly empty all of a sudden. You shift to try to gain some friction, the chair giving a slight creak at the change in position. Joel looks up and glares at you, your body going still immediately under the intensity of his eyes. 

He sticks his hand out behind him, pausing the microphone from recording. “You need to stay. still.” he grits out at you “don't need the whole internet hearing how much of a desperate little thing you are.” You nod at his words, hands gripping the armrests so hard your knuckles turn white. He flicks the mic back on and his lips find your thighs again. Nipping and kissing the soft flesh just below the hem of your shorts. He slides his hands further up, popping the button open and you have to bite down on your fist not to moan when he drags the zipper down with his teeth. He shimmies you out of your shorts, leaving your bottom half clad in your embarrassingly wet panties. 

He lets out a growl at the sight of your cunt, clothed and practically dripping for him. “Look at her… practically creaming already and I ain’t even touched you yet” He lets his thumb press against the wet spot the slight pressure just barely teasing your sopping hole dragging a breathy sigh out of you. You look down at him, eyes hooded and lips parting, practically begging for him without uttering a damn word. 

He looks up at you as he slides your panties to the side, blowing a stream of cold air straight onto your clit, making you jump. “Pretty fuckin’ pussy…” he practically salivates at the sight of you “nothin’ fucking better than seein’ a drippy, needy, little cunt in front of me…” he presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh, right next to where you want him, where you need his lips 

You feel a shiver run down your spine at his words. Somehow it felt filthier being able to see the look on his face, the absolute need he had to taste you. The grip he had on your thighs was bruisingly tight, not helping your arousal die down in the slightest. His mouth finally finds your slit, tongue licking a hot wet stripe at an agonizingly slow pace. He lets out a guttural moan and practically salivates at the taste of you. “Taste so fuckin’ sweet” he groans, tongue dipping back down to taste more of your slick. One of your hands leaves the armrest of the chair and moves to cover your mouth when his lips place three gentle kisses around your clit before relenting and wrapping his lips around the aching bud, with a quiet hum. 

You bite down on your hand to stifle the moans threatening to spill, desperate and eager to please him. Your thighs shake when he slips a finger into your dripping cunt and curls them to hit that spot. He lets out a chuckle, lips still sucking on your clit. The vibrations of his warm breath on your aching clit elicited a desperate wine from your mouth, despite how hard you were trying to be quiet for him “Ffffuck-” 

He raises a brow at you, not even pulling away from your skin, his baby eyes just gazing at you from between your legs as his fingers work at you. Your bottom lip gets caught between your teeth in an effort to stop your sounds, but your attempts seem futile as your climax starts to draw near. Joel slips a second finger inside of you with embarrassing ease, the sound of his fingers curling inside you, joined only by your soft little breaths and his lips on your clit. His fingers stretch you in ways your fingers never have, scissoring and sliding inside of you with practiced precision. “Atta fuckin’ girl..” he growls as your toes curl instinctively, heels digging into his shoulder blades as the coil inside of you finally snaps. You feel yourself gush on his fingers, your thighs clamping around his head as he works you through it “squirtin’ all over daddy’s face huh like the needy thing you are.” 

He pulls your legs off from his legs and hits save on the audio, before glancing back at you with a smirk. “Ain’t posting that anywhere..” he whispers, the gentleness a shocking turn around from the filth he whispered to you earlier. Your breath is still coming out in shaky pants, looking up at him through hazy lids “keepin’ that all to myself” he hums, pressing a little kiss on your head. 

He scoops you up like you’re a ragdoll and practically clomps over to his bedroom, throwing you onto the bed. His fingers work deftly at the tie of his sweats, pushing them off. You squeak softly when you see the trail of hair going down his pelvis, the lack of boxers making heat rise to your chest. You work your top off, while he throws his hoodie across the room, a guttural groan leaving his mouth as he sees your breasts. “Fuckin’ perfect..'' His words aren’t necessarily for you, his thoughts just find themselves being voiced aloud. His calloused hands grope and knead at the softness of your tits before he presses wet kisses to each of your nipples. “Need to be inside ya” he practically begs, cock hard against his stomach leaking pre-cum. 

You could salivate at the sight, hell you truly might have a little bit. “Fuck me, Daddy, need you to fuck me Joel, please i can be good im ready, I'm on the pill-” your words were babbled, fast and rushed together, your intense desire for the man in front of you the only thing your brain could comprehend. Your legs part on the bed, your arousal dripping down your thighs calling to him like flowers call to a honeybee. 

“Christ, baby,” he groans before grabbing your legs and pulling you to the edge of the bed. He fists his cock and slides it through your aching pussy, both of you letting out simultaneous cries of shit when your wetness coats his length. He slides into you with gentle thrusts, letting you adjust to his size slowly, before sinking in all the way with a soft whimper “take me so good…” his words are quiet and breathless, almost as if he was in awe of how your body made room for him. 

“Oh my god-” you cry out, your hands fisting in the dark sheets under your skin. “so fucking big joel..” you clench around him, body on fire with how good he felt inside you, with how perfect it was. It was like you were made to take him like this. His thrusts get faster and your legs curl around his waist, pulling him in as deep as you possibly could. The feeling of his hand pressing on your lower stomach has you arching your back into his touch. 

“Perfect fucking thing,” he grits huskier than usual, with a thrust that knocks the air from your lungs. “Feel me peaches?” he thrusts into you again and presses on your tummy “right fuckin’ there.. Right where I god damn belong…” his words were lust filled and hazy, his own need and orgasm clouding all judgment. Your hips roll against his, the coarse hair brushing up against you, and your head lolls back into the mattress as his thrusts get sloppier. 

“Inside, Joel fuck-” you whimper at him, eyes wide and pleading as your second orgasm builds in the pits of your belly “please cum inside me, wanna feel you please..” for a moment he swears he’s died and gone to heaven. The sounds of your pretty little moans and begging are like a dream come true for him. He just nodded and shifted so he was practically cradling your body under his, cock buried so deep inside you that you knew you’d be feeling it for days afterward. 

He grinds his hips lazily against yours while his thrusts are shallow and pointed. Your legs shake while you meet his lips in a sloppy kiss, all tongue and teeth as you both fall apart practically molded together. “Jesus christ-” his breathing is ragged and hoarse “takin’ me so damn good, gonna fuckin’ fill you up” he gives a few more thrusts before he pulls out of your quivering pussy, your own orgasm sending stars into your eyes. 

You both stay like that for a moment, Joel's forehead resting softly on your shoulder as his cum spills out onto his bed. You shift softly to pull him next to you and curl into his touch, giving him a cheeky smile as you tilt his face to meet your eyes. “You…” a breathless little laugh escapes your lips “how long did you know I was commenting on your posts?” you ask softly, brows raised at him. 

He snorts at the question and flicks your forehead gently, earning a playful pout to be thrown in his direction. “Bout damn near two weeks ago” he replies, classic shit eating grin plastered to his face. “Figured it was you when you came over lookin’ like you’d won the damn Powerball and some little fan called peaches_and_cream left a comment about cummin’ three times to one damn post” you let out a muffled groan and bury your head into his chest, mumbling something about him being an asshole before you both shift into a comfortable silence. 

He moves, patting your hip and telling you to go use the bathroom after a few minutes, preaching his favorite safe sex speech and you roll your eyes at him before you saunter over to his bathroom. “Oh and Joel-” you call out before you walk in, eyes meeting his as he waits for you to finish your sentence “send me that audio, would ya?” 

A/N: From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free

READ: This account stands with Palestine unequivocally, and so— I require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. Silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist.

PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS. 

Thank you for reading, and free Palestine

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

.⋆｡What He Deserves｡⋆.

Alpha!Bucky Barnes x omega!plus size reader

The morning after Bucky claims you, he realises how much he truly loves you

Warnings: implied smut, nudity, mention of claiming, fluff, brief talks about Bucky’s past

WC: 478

Minors DNI

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

4k Celebration

Dawn crept over the horizon slowly, the weak winter sun just barely breaking through the curtains on the far side of the bedroom, creating small beams of light that fell over the bed. There were pillows and sheets strewn everywhere, leaving the bed bare save for a singular blanket that covered the occupants.

Bucky had been awake for hours, in fact he hadn’t even fallen asleep. Too overwhelmed with new emotions to even think about shutting his eyes, he had just watched you. You were sprawled on top of him, your naked body fitting perfectly on his own, chest to chest, your legs intertwined with your nose firmly pressed against his collarbone.

The wound on your shoulder was already healing, it would leave a scar but that was the whole point wasn’t it. A perfect circle of small cuts that, if Bucky leaned down and put his mouth to it, would match the pattern of his teeth. Unable to stop himself, he rubbed his thumb against the broken skin and fresh wave of your scent washed over him.

Bucky groaned as he inhaled, the smell of you so raw and untainted it made his skin prickle with goosebumps.

“Alpha?” Your voice came out as more of a rasp, still thick with sleep.

He winced. “Sorry mega, didn’t mean to wake you.” You hummed and nuzzled further into his warm chest, your hand coming up to rest just over his heart. Bucky smiled and kissed the top of your head.

“’S okay.” You sighed, a happy calmness spreading through the fresh bond. It immediately settles in his stomach, a feeling of peace and home. His grip gets just a little tighter but you don’t fight it, instead your soft body goes completely limp in his arms as you let out a contented mewl.

Snores began to escape your lips once more and Bucky just watched you. This was all he had ever wanted but never thought he could have, or deserved. You were his everything and by the grace of whatever god was out there, you let him worship you and love you with his whole being.

And now you were mated, joined together for eternity.

You chased away his nightmares with a smile, banishing them to a place where they could never hurt him again. You guided him into the light with your laughter, you showed him that touch doesn’t always bring pain. You proved to him that he was more than his past, more than a puppet for someone else’s bidding. 

“I love you more than I ever thought possible.” He spoke quietly into the early morning light so as to not wake you once more. He let his eyes finally slip shut, content with you in his arms, your scent keeping him grounded.

He couldn’t wait to wake up and start the rest of your lives.

Request: Do you think I could get a a/b/o with either “I burn for you,” or “I love you more than I ever thought possible” with either Kylo Ren or Bucky Barnes?

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What the hell happened with Crow: an autopsy (Part 4)

*Deep breath* Okay, everybody. Let's do this one more time.

First off, hello, or welcome back. Let's get the introductions and disclaimers out of the way, shall we?

This is the fourth and final instalment in my very, very long-winded attempt to analyse the character writing of Crow over the course of the entirety of yugioh 5Ds. For everyone who hasn't read the previous parts of the analysis, you can find part one here, part two here, and part three here.

This post, and my analysis as a whole, is neither meant as a Crow hate post, nor as a manifesto to convince people who don't like him that they're wrong. It's as genuine an attempt to simply look at and dissect what the show gives us about him as I can make, though I admit to personal bias because I do like Crow. That said, I'm trying to stay as neutral as possible, because the aim of this entire post tetralogy is to look at the writing decisions made for this character and how they impact him—and how they possibly influenced the audience's perception of him.

My previous three posts all reference this as well, but since I still see these things parroted all across the internet to this day: Please don't read this post under the assumption that any of the 5Ds production rumours are true, especially not the ones surrounding Crow. Because, to make this as short as possible, every popular theory as to why certain characters were mishandled during the later parts of the show fails to line up with the production timeline of said show. Chiefly among those theories, the idea that Crow was meant to be a dark signer and that his popularity correlated to his cards, and the idea that Aki, specifically, had to give up her screentime for him because her VA got pregnant, which both lack any basis in reality, as you can read in the posts I linked. (One final shoutout to @mbg159 here, who compiled these incredibly comprehensive posts and can also be found here on tumblr. Huge thanks.) So if you can do me one favour, please just let the 5Ds rumours die already and read this analysis without the hope of seeing any of them confirmed. I'm so sick of these crackpot theories at this point that I can hardly find the words for it. And while we're on the topic, I also don't want to see this post used as a means to pit Aki and Crow against each other in any way—both have good reasons to be well-liked and both deserve their spot in the narrative, all right? All right.

And now, at last, let's get down to business. The last time I got on a virtual soapbox and yelled about Crow, I covered the entire WRGP, murder-duel-robot induced break included. That means that for this, final stretch, we'll be looking at everything from episode 137 onwards—the Ark Cradle arc. (A side not for dub aficionados here: Episode 136 was the last episode that got an English dub. In other words, everything I talk about here never even made it into the English version. Because 4Kids, I guess.) As we've done before, we'll take a look at what exactly Crow gets up to during the final stretch of the show (and, notably, the epilogue), then see whether any of it needed improving, and if so, how it could have been improved.

You'll find all further yelling below the readmore, and I'll leave you with the other, usual warning here, as well: This will be long. Even if the Ark Cradle arc, relative to the rest of the show, isn't, this post most certainly will be. So get some snacks and perhaps don't start reading this late at night unless you're good at knowing when to stop and reading stuff in bursts. (I'm not.)

As I concluded at the end of my last post, the WRGP ended up being a bit of a mixed bag for Crow. He's there, he duels, but at the same time, despite being positioned as an equal third of a protagonist trio, he's notably less important and arguably also weaker than Yusei and Jack. Moreover, where the plot is concerned, he sure didn't get too much to do—not to speak of the fact that the writers didn't grace him with any meaningful interactions with a certain character who'll become very relevant here.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. First, the preamble.

With the end of the Team New World duel, the final arc of the show drops the by this point unexpected arrival of the Ark Cradle right on our heads. So, what does Crow do here, at the start, other than be shocked? Well, not much. A lot of the first episode that introduces the Ark Cradle focusses more on the imminent threat said structure poses to New Domino City, and we flash back to our protagonists mostly to ascertain that things are, in fact, going to shit. Even once that focus on the city evacuating shifts again, the episode concerns itself more with Yusei than with Crow. However, meagre as it is, we do get the first interaction between Crow and Sherry during the Ark Cradle arc in this episode.

(Uh.... at least they're technically talking to each other?)

And frankly... It's not much. Unfortunately, up until the duel where he faces her, the Ark Cradle arc continues a trend regarding interactions between Crow and Sherry that we already saw in the WRGP: They barely get to interact, and even when they do, they never have anything so much as resembling a meaningful conversation, mostly because Sherry basically never addresses Crow directly, nor seems very interested in him, while Crow is usually there only to react to what she's saying, rather than actually talk to her. While digging through my mountain of screenshots, I found that latter part to be especially interesting, because as it turns out, this is a trend not just in Crow's interactions with Sherry, specifically. Many moments that probably contribute to the nefarious "screentime" (I've explained my gripes with this term in part two) some people like to accuse Crow of hogging have him only be part of a scene so he can react to what happens in it, to the point of him sometimes feeling like a stand-in for the audience reaction the writers might be hoping for. The above is a perfect example, because as far as character writing is concerned, Crow's "interaction" with Sherry here is utterly devoid of meaning. He's just there to communicate his disbelief over the ominous prediction that Yusei is guaranteed to die if he goes to the Ark Cradle, which feels like exactly the kind of reaction the writers probably wanted from the audience. After all, it's a bold, shocking statement to make. The protagonist, dying? In a card game anime geared towards twelve year-olds? It's downright preposterous. And Crow seems to agree with that, if his dialogue is anything to go by.

This one and other scenes (mostly the kind that contain plot elements that Crow doesn't actually interact with) got me thinking, though, and after having gone through so much of the show with a fine-tooth comb now, I think I've come to a conclusion, so permit me a tangent here: I believe the choice to let Crow, specifically, be a character who often only reacts to events or interactions after the DS arc, rather than contributing much himself, is deliberate. Don't get me wrong, I don't think he's the only character who is frequently put in this position—Aki, the twins, and even Bruno, especially when they're on the sidelines in the WRGP, also often only seem to be there to react or comment on things, perhaps partially to remind us viewers that they still exist, despite not being in a position where they contribute anything to the plot. With how much the twins and Aki got pushed to the side after the pre-WRGP and the Unicorn duel, respectively, and with how toned-down Bruno's entire character is until the very end, as not to spoil his tragic antagonist status too much, Crow in particular ending up as an often reactive, rather than active character stands out a bit more, though. And I think this has everything to do with his personality, because it contrasts that of Jack and Yusei. Think of it. Sure, Crow is shown several times to be just as cool and competent as the other two, but what he has that the other two crucially lack is the ability to freak out like a normal person. I'm being hyperbolic here, of course, but I do genuinely believe this, because when I think back to the show, Jack and Yusei, due to their character writing, only ever seem to be allowed to lose their cool during pretty specific circumstances, and only in very specific ways. Jack, for example, only ever gets to freak out either when a scene paints him as the butt of the joke (like during his infamous, dramatic outburst over cup ramen), or when the freakout is caused by—and expressed as—righteous (or not so righteous) fury (like when he storms off angrily after catching everyone watching his old duel with Dragan). Meanwhile, Yusei is played so straight that we barely ever see him lose his composure at all, outside of intensely dramatic, high-stakes situations (think his dark signer duels with Kiryu, his confrontation with Roman, his initial failure to accel synchro). Hell, the closest we get to ever seeing him be mildly upset about something like a normal person, as far as I can recall, is when he gets embarrased by Martha calling him out on his perceived crush on Aki. That's it.

Crow, though. Crow's allowed to do something the other two aren't: He's allowed to react to the world around him like your average guy. Jack blows through their household money for expensive coffee. Crow gets upset. Understandable. Crow gets injured right before his big debut in a turbo duelling tournament and is upset to the point of snapping at his friends over it. Understandable. Seeing Yaeger's kid cheering his dad on and knowing that this kid will cry if his dad loses makes Crow relent and throw the match. Understandable. Sherry predicts Yusei's imminent death due to hocus pocus and Crow calls bullshit. Understandable.

Do you see what I'm driving at? With how the show treats the other two Satellite boys, I'd argue none of the moments above would have worked anywhere near as well if the writers had tried to make Jack or Yusei take Crow's place in any of them. Because while Yusei and Jack, I feel, were certainly written to be the coolest characters (at least to the target audience), Crow seems like he was written to be the most relatable. He's the guy who takes on a delivery job when they need money. He's the guy who complains about his cranky landlady. And he's the guy who reacts to insane nonsense happening around him a little more realistically than his defeated-an-ancient-devil-to-absorb-its-power brother, his shouldering-the-guilt-of-a-cataclysmic-event-decades-ago other brother, their mutual previously-violent-psychic-who-was-part-of-a-cult friend, and the one-of-us-can-see-spirits-and-we-share-a-weird-kind-of-magical-bond twins. As such, it doesn't feel too out there to me to claim that in many situations, they made Crow the stand-in for the audience, because he has a less iron composure than Jack and Yusei, is readily available in many scenes by virtue of living with the other two, and happens to be the guy who has the arguably most normal backstory out of the signers. (Save, perhaps, for Rua, but I've already addressed before why the writers barely ever pulled Rua centre stage for anything. And they certainly wouldn't have pulled him centre stage for this, either.)

Now, as far as character writing is concerned, assuming I'm at least halfway correct with my hunch above, I feel that whether or not this decision is good or a shot in the foot on the writers' part depends largely on every audience member's individual perception of Crow after the DS arc. If you liked seeing this scrappy guy introduced during the DS arc, of course you would have been happy to see more of him! Even if he's only present in scenes to comment on what's going on and doesn't actually get to do anything meaningful. If you didn't like Crow that much, though, I can see how him popping up so often only to yap a bit and contribute essentially nothing could have grated on you. And as I said, I think this is where the "screentime" discussion comes in again, because yeah, Crow is very much on screen in all these little-bit-of-nothing scenes. He doesn't get to do much and his character isn't fleshed out or reinforced in any way, but he sure is there. For better or for worse.

And this—this is where I can finally get back to him and Sherry. Because in his interactions specifically with her, it is for worse, due to the fact that all the scenes that contain both of them before the Ark Cradle duel are pretty much exclusively these kinds of little-bit-of-nothing, reactive scenes. Crow doesn't get to interact with Sherry meaningfully, and he never—and I need to empathise this—, not once gets to interact with her one on one, not until the end-of-series duel both of them take part in happens. What makes Crow's lack of meaningful interactions with Sherry even worse is that his later duelling partner against her is Aki, of all people, who by contrast gets to interact with Sherry a whole bunch, most notably during her duel against Yusei. Not only that, but Sherry is also shown to actually be interested in Aki, which cannot be said for Crow. Yet, still in the same episode I was describing above, while the Ark Cradle begins its descent, it's not Aki, but Crow who is entrusted with this card by Mizoguchi/Elsworth:

(I'd like to point out that the dialogue following this moment doesn't make it clear whether Crow even knows what Sherry's connection to this card is. For all we know, this could be the first time Crow sees it, without being aware of any of the context surrounding it.)

You know, the card that's essentially a symbol of Sherry's attachment to her parents and her commitment to revenge. The card that basically her entire character revolves around. For a single piece of cardboard, this thing comes with a lot of narrative baggage attached, yet canon doesn't even take the time to assure us that Crow knows what Z-ONE means, other than it being a memento of Sherry's parents, as Mizoguchi explains. And frankly, this all feels like a rather ham-fisted attempt to get some last-minute setup for the later confrontation between Crow and Sherry in. It's like the writers desperately wanted to feel the emotional moment in the duel later to feel earned; they wanted to have their cake and eat it, too. There's only one problem: They didn't even bake the damned thing, the ingredients are just sitting around, untouched, as if staring at them long enough will magically make a cake manifest.

But, well, since I'm already talking about this, I may as well get into the actual meat of the matter, because frankly, it's not like Crow gets much else to do at the start of the arc. Yusei takes off because he at first wants to go to the Ark Cradle alone (like an idiot), leading to the signers coming after him (and telling him he's an idiot). Joining this effort and assuring Yusei that they won't let him die alongside the others is as much as Crow gets to do before the inevitable three-way duel starts.

(That said, while it doesn't accomplish anything, I've always appreciated this little moment while Yusei still tries to pull his stupid kamikaze plan—Crow would know more shortcuts in the BAD area than he does. After all, he lived there for a good while!)

After that, everyone gets up to the Ark Cradle and, as we all know, the signer group is forcibly split up by Z-ONE before deciding to go to a Yusei gear each in order to shut down Ark Cradle's negative Moment. (Top ten sentences that wouldn't make a lick of sense to anyone who isn't up to their neck in 5Ds lore.) And the very first duel on the menu in this final stretch of episodes is also Crow's final duel in the entire show.

(Drumroll please.)

Here's the thing. I love this duel, actually. I get extremely hyped every time I rewatch it. BUT. But. I do not love it so blindly that I couldn't see that it has not one, but several issues. Not only that, but those issues don't just rest on Crow's shoulders, they sadly rest on the shoulders of all three participants in this duel, because frankly? Alongside the four-way Jack/Rua/Ruka/Aporia duel, this duel is one of the Ark Cradle arc's desperate attempts to tie up loose ends. Because as much as I enjoy this arc, that's exactly what it is: A race to the finish line, an attempt to tie as many loose ends as possible up in as little time as the show could get away with. To make clear why I think this, let me just list off all the things this arc resolves or at the very least tries to tie up with a neat bow:

It reintroduces Aki's psychic powers, which we were previously led to believe she'd lost. Notably, we didn't get a reason for why they disappeared and don't get a reason for why they reappear, either. It also turns them into healing powers in an attempt to establish a reason for why she later studies medicine.

It explains what happened to Sherry and what actually drives her revenge. Furthermore, it releases her from her narrative fridge-prison in order to actually let her duel Aki (yes, Aki, specifically), which is a confrontation that was subtextually implied several times previously.

It resolves the question of Bruno's identity by revealing him as an antagonist.

It finally reveals Life Stream Dragon, who was at this point teased over seventy episodes ago.

It also finally rewards Rua, who was teased to possibly become a signer during the DS arc, with an actual signer mark. (As short-lived as it may be.)

It actually explains Iliaster's real plan, which is Z-ONE's hope that the 5Ds gang can actually save the future.

Speaking of which, it actually explains who Z-ONE is and why he's a big deal. (Remember, this guy was first teased a good while ago at this point in time.)

Alongside Sherry, it dusts off several protagonists who didn't get an opportunity to duel on-screen and lets them duel one, final time. (Notably, Aki, Rua, and Ruka, who at this point haven't been seen duelling since the early WRGP or even pre-WRGP.)

You may notice that none of these bullet points contain Crow. They do, however, contain Aki and Sherry, both of whom went into this finale with several unanswered questions as to their characters. Crow, not so much. But let's just put a pin in that for now while we actually jump into the duel.

*Cracks knuckles* Aki & Crow VS Sherry. Here we go at last. Fair warning, the character writing of all three participants of this duel overlaps a fair bit here, so expect to hear a bit of a mishmash about our revenge trio.

So, how does this duel start? Firstly, with Sherry waxing poetic about why she's even opposing Team 5Ds now.

(A dramatic switch of sides that sadly doesn't hold a candle to Bruno turning out to be Antinomy. Which, funnily enough, might be why this duel is front-loaded and Bruno's comes later.)

I won't dig into this too much, but I just want to point out the one thing this moment gives us: It establishes character motivation. Sherry claims she can no longer get revenge and has thus lost her purpose. (The reason why she can no longer get revenge, if you're interested, is because Moment Express, her final lead, vanished in its entirety, as far as canon is concerned.) Thus, she took the bait when Z-ONE offered her a new purpose, and, more importantly, a reward. Now, Aki and Crow at this point in the episode don't get to hear what that reward is, but for our analysis, it's important to keep in mind: Z-ONE promised Sherry he'd alter the timeline so she would get her parents back if she helps him. And I think this is immensely important because this is not only Sherry's goal in the present, I think it's actually the core of her character from the very first moment we meet her. In classic, tragic-avenging-type character fashion, she claims to want revenge when what she's really doing is trying to numb the pain of the awareness that she'll never get her parents back. (Though I'll admit this may also be my generous read of her as a person who likes revenge-obsessed characters.) And then, Z-ONE dangles the actual thing she wanted all along before her. Of course she took the bait.

This brings us to the start of the duel itself. As we know, Sherry employs some tactics that feel quite different from what she previously did in this duel. First and foremost, she messes with the mechanics of the duel itself by using the field spell Ecole de Zone, creating an illusion that confuses Aki and Crow into duelling not her, but each other at first. Sherry, meanwhile, takes a very passive role, clearly intent on letting the two destroy each other while she sporadically activates card effects to accelerate this. What makes all this stand out as even more unusual for her is that she sets this up by lying. At the beginning of the duel, she tells Aki and Crow that there's two of her, and that each duellist will fight one copy of her on a seperate field each, but this is a misdirection to make the two signers duel each other instead of her. And, look. I don't need to tell you this is out of character for Sherry. Canon literally does that for me.

(Case in point.)

It's only after Crow and Aki catch onto the fact that something's wrong and after Aki destroys the field spell that Sherry uses her "real strategy", switching to Soul Binding Gate, which inflicts real damage every time a monster with less attack points than her life points is summoned, in order to whittle away at both other duellists' life points. This is also the point where she reveals to her opponents that she's doing all this to get her parents back. While she does that, we get a bit more back and forth in terms of cardplay, until Aki sets the field up just right so Crow can land a very high-damage hit with Black-Winged Dragon to end the duel. And that is pretty much the gist of it on the duelling side of things.

So what's going on on the narrative side of things, then? Well. Let me front-load something I've noticed on the narrative end: This duel heavily interacts with Crow's and Sherry's characterisation, but barely at all with Aki's. I'll make clear what I mean by that below. For now, let's just get an overview by going through the character moments as they occur in the duel. Why go through all of them? Because most either interact with Crow in some way, or set up a later interaction in the same duel that he's a part of, that's why. I'll get into the nitty-gritty of what this duel did well and what it didn't after that. (Mostly. You may have noticed I like tangents and rambling excessively.)

So.

The first moment belongs to Aki and Crow in equal measure, and happens just as Ecole de Zone is destroyed—which Aki accomplishes by using Crow's monster to synchro summon Black Rose Dragon, as well as prevent that synchro summon from being negated through the same monster's effect, so she can use her dragon's field wipe to get rid of Sherry's field spell. When Sherry is surprised by this, Aki and Crow explain that they memorised each other's cards as part of a strategic effort as a WRGP team.

(Friendship is, in fact, magic.)

Not only does this explanation make perfect sense, it's also an excellent little tidbit to tie Aki and Crow together as a tag-team here, as it strengthens the connection between them. The only gripe I could possibly see with this is that it feels like this didn't necessarily need to be a surprise, end-of-the-show reveal. Frankly, it could have been pretty cool to see this much earlier, to have members of Team 5Ds realise what their teammates were getting up to during the WRGP duels, for example. (Instead of so often having the other signers react just as shocked as the announcer to their teammates' plays—I'm side-eyeing the infamous "a trap from the graveyard"-moment in particular. Like, Aki, sweetie, if you memorised Crow's deck, why are you surprised that he has a trap he can activate from the graveyard? I digress.) Moreover, this could have built anticipation for this particular duel, as viewers would have been excited to see what Aki and Crow would come up with to defeat Sherry as a team. So this moment is not bad, really. Just a bit underutilised, at least to me. (The word "underutilised" might become a trend in this post.)

Every other character-driven moment from here on out is shoved into the second duel episode, 140. Speaking of which, this episode starts with Aki and Crow getting the reveal of why Sherry is helping Z-ONE, where she admits that she joined the bad guys because she wants her parents back. She even goes as far as stating that because Z-ONE showed her the future, she has no hope that it can be saved and thus at least wants her lovely past back so she can have some solace before everything goes to hell for humanity. But we already went over that above.

Next up, albeit this moment should probably be considered more of a running theme than just one self-contained thing, we have Crow's struggle with Soul Binding Gate. Remember, the effect of this field spell causes all players to take damage every time a monster with less ATK than Sherry's LP is summoned. And at this point in the duel, Aki is barely above 1000 life points, so Crow worries about triggering the field spell's effect and hurting her, which leads to him playing suboptimally because he's more concerned about his friend than about winning the duel. Notably, Aki calls him out on this.

(She has a point.)

Outside of providing an internal conflict for Crow to grapple with, this isn't much to write home about. (Side note: I do find it interesting that they introduce the fear of physically hurting someone in a duel specifically in connection to Aki here, though, given that through her psychic powers, she had to grapple with this exact issue many times in the past. I have no idea if this was intentional, though.)

Between this and the next moment, there's a nice bit of interplay between Crow and Aki again, where he activates a card to refill her life points just in time so she doesn't drop to zero through Soul Binding Gate, while Aki uses a defensive trap to protect Crow in return.

(This is just here because it's a money shot to me. The juxtaposition of their faces and their life points, showing that while Aki may have the lowest life points, she still has the coolest head in this duel, and while Sherry technically has the upper hand, she's beginning to falter because she didn't anticipate the other two to work so well together. It's chef's kiss. Mwah.)

What follows after this, is, of course, the Big Moment. Where Sherry tries to convince Crow to forfeit so she can win and have Z-ONE change the past. And this is the one I really need to dig into.

With Sherry's earlier admission that she's on Iliaster's side because she wants her parents back acting as setup, she begins her attempt to sway Crow by telling him that if he had the opportunity to change the past, he would do it, too. And while Crow initially protests, Sherry challenges this, then proceeds to show him what Z-ONE's power could accomplish, and we get a lengthy sequence where Sherry, through weird cyborg-techno-magic-shenanigans that are never explained, takes Aki and Crow to a dreamlike space where Crow sees the orphans he used to take care of being happily reunited with their parents. Sherry also ominously tells him that this is "what he desires deep in his psyche" before promising him that if he surrenders the duel, Z-ONE can give him a world where Zero Reverse never occurred and all the kids can have happy lives with their real families. (I wanted to post most of this sequence in screenshots, but while I have them, I've realised I'm only a few images short of tumblr's limit already, so forgive me because I will need those remaining image spots.) This moment proceeds to introduce some serious doubt on Crow's end. Aki, meanwhile, remains steadfast, telling him not to fall for Sherry's manipulation, which leads to her giving an almost Yusei-style speech. In a moment where Crow wavers, both because he's genuinely considering whether taking Sherry's offer might be the wiser choice, and because he doesn't want to hurt Aki by triggering Sherry's field spell effect, Aki calls out to him and tells him to snap out of it by reminding him of how Yusei reached out to her during their second duel. This speech is a bit, um. Clunky, I feel. (At least if the translation is correct. If it isn't, then that may be the issue.) See, she tells him that Yusei "saved her from the darkness of her psychic powers", that "he wasn't concerned about his own safety and risked his life to persuade her", that, because her psychic powers are now gone, she's "renewed" and that this somehow brought her to the epiphany that as long as she believes in her own potential, she can change the future. This is lifted almost verbatim from the scene, by the way. Leaving aside the fact that half of this feels like a mild to severe misrepresentation of Aki's character arc during the DS arc (don't talk about it, don't talk about it, I need to make this another post of its own, damn it), I, personally, can't exactly follow how she ended up with that final epiphany from the circumstances she listed. But lucky for us, Crow apparently gets what she's driving at, because he quickly echoes her statement and they both conclude that Crow's kids also believe in the future and fight to live, that they're not sad about their lives the way they are right now, even though they don't have parents. Thus, Crow catches himself, echoing Aki's sentiment and telling Sherry that he, too, believes in the future. And through the power of Friendship and Believing in the Future, he manages to use Aki's cards to land the final hit, nicely mirroring how she used his to destroy Ecole de Zone.

...Phew. Okay, look. First off, that above, large section is basically several character beats stacked on top of one another. On Sherry's end, we have the intriguing fact that she's specifically trying to manipulate Crow, not Aki. In fact, she doesn't so much as try to sway Aki, as though she knows it's no use. Then, on Aki's end, we've got her pulling a real Yusei, staying level-headed almost the entire duel and reaching out to make sure Crow stays on track. This moment also ties back to her own conflict with her powers again. (Which, unfortunately, I will talk about, and yes, I'll be chewing drywall the entire time I do it.) Finally, on Crow's end, we've got a nice, proper moment where he doubts himself and, by his own admission, nearly makes a terrible mistake because he wants nothing more than for the kids he used to take care of to have good lives.

Now, before I go over what worked about this moment and what didn't, let me just chew through the rest of the actual duel itself, too, then circle back too highlight some things. In other words, time for me to chew some drywall.

*Sigh*

At the very end of the duel, there are two more character moments that are noteworthy.

First, right before the final hit, we get Sherry desperately defending herself against Aki and Crow's newly strengthened belief that the future can, in fact, still be saved, which she does by (rather heartbreakingly) asking what's so wrong about wanting her parents back, about wanting their love and warmth back. It's at this point that Crow's allowed to get back at Sherry by challenging her beliefs, telling her that people "work hard to live because they only get one chance at life", and that there's no point in trying to go back to do things differently, that the only way to keep going is to believe in the future, regardless of whatever painful and sad events one has had to live through. I'd say this sentiment certainly fits Crow, character-wise, especially given his rough Satellite background. It does partially fall flat because it feels a bit weird for him, specifically, to now be acting like he knows Sherry inside and out, much like she did with him earlier, but again, this is simply a matter of setup and I'll try not to belabour that point again. The horse is already dead, no sense in beating it. It's after this speech and the final attack that Sherry finally realises her error.

Buuut this leads us right into the next character moment. Because as the duel ends, Sould Binding Gate physically falls apart, pelting all three of our duel participants in debris and threatening to crush them under it. While everyone does briefly fall over (and Sherry gets a moment to realise that her father wanted her to live strong, not accept seemingly inevitable doom and die weak), they soon realise they were not, in fact, buried under rubble, though. Because guess what! Black Rose Dragon to the rescue. Black Rose Dragon, who can suddenly physically affect her surroundings again. You know, that thing we were led to believe Aki could no longer make her monsters do because she lost her powers completely out of nowhere. And there's more! Because not only does Black Rose Dragon take care of the debris for the trio, as she disappears, she also heals all three of them, and in response, Crow gets a line that I unfortunately cannot for the life of me discuss without bias because it kills me every time.

(Crow. Crow, please. You're killing me. I beg you.)

This line out of Crow's mouth feels extremely weird to me, and in the process of typing up this post, I've been trying to find the reason why. Here's the conclusion I've come to: Firstly, it feels a bit out of place from him, somehow. A line hypothesising about what psychic powers can or can't do—this is something I would have expected out of Aki's mouth, but not out of Crow's. I believe what makes it feel so out of place, though, isn't necessarily that it seems a bit odd for him, specifically, to theorise about this, but that when I hear it, I don't feel like the character is saying it. Instead, in this moment, moreso than in some others that suffer from the same issue, I hear not Crow, but the writers speaking. I hear them telling me "look, we know we made it seem like Aki's powers are super gone and like they were super, irredeemably bad, and like she and you should be happy that they're gone, but here, see, this is what they're really like. Don't you think we came up with something clever here, to set her becoming a doctor later up nicely? No, this isn't because we needed to backpedal on our decision to make her lose them and be happy about it at the last second, why do you ask?". And yes, I concede this might just be me. (So feel free to disregard this in terms of analysis, I just have some weird kind of vendetta against this line.) But still, even without my personal issues hampering me, this line of dialogue out of Crow's mouth is just plain odd. After all, how would he know what "real" psychic powers are? Since when is he the expert, especially considering we've never so much as seen him comment on Aki's powers before? (And for the record, this line would have seemed just as weird had any other character other than Aki said it imo. It just has that unmistakable "writers trying to justify something at the last second"-tang to me.)

And do not. Do Not get me started on the fact that the writers, despite going to such great pains to paint Aki's psychic powers as an exclusively negative thing especially during the WRGP arc, decide to reintroduce them here, suddenly as a good thing that can also heal people, which directly contradicts every choice they've made when it came to Aki's relationship to her powers ever since the Team Catastrophe duel. While crucially also lacking the one thing this entire duel is practically begging for: Fucking. Setup. But at this point, the handling of Aki's powers, specifically, really needs its own post, so I'll hold off on any further comments here and come back to that another time. I feel like I'm beginning to talk in circles, anyhow. Setup. Setup, setup, setup. This duel wishes it had it, because then the ideas presented here—which, in a vacuum, are compelling—might have worked smoothly.

But, with that. We have finally made it through the duel itself. Sherry, at the very end, gets her change of heart and at last cements herself as a good guy, and that concludes the first duel in the finale, and also both Aki and Crow's last duel in the entire show.

And good lord, was this duel all over the place. Though I think my meandering scene-by-scene breakdown of it showed as much. Now, onto the proper evaluation of what worked and what didn't here. First, let's get the good these two episodes do out of the way, shall we. (Because there is a lot of Bad I need to yell about, unfortunately.)

By virtue of being one of the final duels, this is Aki and Crow's last chance to shine, and shine, they do. Both in the duelling department and in the character department. Aki makes two major plays that upend Sherry's strategy and Crow's perfectly in sync with her, showing that the two truly are teammates, and paying off all the character moments they had specifically in the Team Unicorn to Team Catastrophe section of the WRGP. Their friendship and cooperation is believable and entertaining to watch. Then on the character side, Aki's growth is (somewhat) paid off—where she used to be a character that doubted herself and was afraid of hurting people, she is now the one who can keep a level head and help others fight their self-doubt. Meanwhile, Crow gets to show off his unfailing dedication to community and family again, both by watching out for Aki and by selflessly desiring not for himself to have a better life, but for the kids he used to take care of. And Sherry, who was previously removed from the narrative in such an unsatisfactory way, finally gets to duel again, gets to explain why she actually does what she does, and gets to join the heroes at the end, permanently joining the ranks of the good guys instead of the villains. Happy endings all around.

Ehem. And this is where I'm gonna be less nice about this duel. Because the problem is, due to the specific constellation of characters involved in this duel and how they previously interacted in the show, there's a lot of stuff here that doesn't work nearly as well on a second watch as a first watch would like to make you believe.

First, a broader issue on the card game end of things: The way this duel feels, it's very much more Aki's duel than Crow's, which is also kind of confirmed in the card plays being made. Though it's Crow who's first shown to catch onto the fact that a third party is activating additional card effects out of nowhere, it's Aki who fully solves the mystery, uses Crow's monster to synchro summon Black Rose Dragon, then activates her dragon's effect to get rid of the illusion for good. And while Crow gets to land the final hit, it's Aki's setup and her trap, Synchro Stream, that make it possible for him to win for both of them. And yet. On the dialogue- and character-interaction side of things, this duel is made out to be much more Crow's than Aki's. Because, perhaps surprisingly to some, Aki doesn't waver one bit in this duel. She's got her head in the game the entire time. She's here to do business—that business being defeating Sherry—and by god, does she do it. Moreover, unlike Crow, she has much, much better setup to be duelling Sherry than he does. And this comes right back around to the main thing this duel suffers from, which I've already harped on about: Crow and Sherry, up until this point, have not interacted in a way that would make the connection between them seem in any way significant. Unfortunately for this duel, though, Aki and Sherry have.

From the first episode where we're introduced to Sherry, she's shown to be interested in who Aki is and what she can do. During the duel between her and Yusei, she comments on Aki's powers. Later, when Aki is getting her turbo duelling license, Sherry watches on with interest. At some point while Aki's training, Sherry drops by to speak with her and Yusei again. My point here being, of course, that Aki, unlike Crow, got several scenes where she interacted with Sherry or had Sherry meaningfully take note of her existence before this point. Yet, whatever dynamic the writers may or may not have been aiming for between these two is, at best, underutilised in the final duel, if not completely ignored, at worst. Instead, the writers shift their focus to Crow and try to make us believe that Sherry, a character who has barely acknowledged his existence thus far, would know him well enough to consider him the better target for her attempt at manipulation. (And don't get me started on how the hell Z-ONE's weird robot magic is supposed to expose what Crow "desires deep in his psyche". That is simply a chasm the show expects us to suspend our disbelief over.) And look. The thing is, I don't think the Big Moment where Sherry tries to convince Crow to forfeit is terrible in isolation. Like, they could have made this work, had they given these two setup, had they given us, the audience, reason to believe Crow could be swayed like this (which they, notably, also didn't), and had they given us the impression that Sherry knows Crow well enough to pull something like this. What hurts the scene immensely, however, is that it's preceded by everything before, starting from the WRGP, where there is no setup between these two, no reason to believe Crow could be convinced to forfeit a duel against a major antagonist, and no meaningful interactions to support the belief that Sherry knows who Crow really is at all.

What also stands out to me is that Crow really doesn't feel like the best character to parallel Sherry, here, either. Parallel in the sense that she tries to get to him by expressing a desire she believes they both feel—getting a certain, nicer version of the past they never had back. Because the thing is, Sherry and Crow hardly feel like they have very much in common, and there's certainly no previous hints to make anyone believe they would have this in common. (So for all we know, Sherry could have just been taking a shot in the dark by trying to convince Crow.) You know who could have made for an excellent character to mirror Sherry, though? Yeah. The third person in the room during this scene. Aki.

See, here's the thing about these three as characters, in relation to what this scene tries to accomplish (getting a protagonist to waver by having the antagonist appeal to certain emotional similarities between them): While Crow may perhaps be more relatable to the audience, he isn't all that relatable to Sherry. He comes from dirt poor origins, she from rich ones. He doesn't even remember his parents, she defines herself by the memory of hers. She's a lone wolf, he's incredibly community-focussed. The only parallel you could have drawn between these two, up until this duel, is knowing what it feels like to want revenge. (Sherry with her parents, Crow with his kids back in the DS arc.) But guess what, unfortunately, Aki knows that too, what with her past as the Black Rose Witch and wanting to make people pay for ostracising her. And to make matters worse, she has a lot of other things going for her that parallel Sherry much, much better, too. They both come from well-off families, both have had major, traumatising events in their lives revolve around their parents, both left their initial family structure by way of drastic changes in their life, both are intimately familiar with the desire for vengeance, and, most damningly, Aki knows what it's like to stand on the side of the bad guys—like Sherry is doing in that very scene—because you feel like it's the only place that gives you hope/meaning. Not to speak of the fact that Aki, given her turbulent past with her psychic powers, would probably know exactly what it feels like to want a past you never had back. There would have been so much to work with there, and it makes whatever they were gunning for with Crow look... lacklustre, to put it mildly, by comparison.

The worst part is, I think, that the blame lies neither with the characters nor with the scene concept here. Solely with the execution. Because I truly think they could have made this work. They could have made the entire duel work, big character moments and all. But the keyword is and always has been setup. Setup, which the writers, at least in part, strangely gave to Aki, but not to Crow, which is what hurts particularly his portion of this duel, and, arguably, his character writing in general. Because—and this may be a small thing in the grand scheme of things, but permit me this—while Crow wanting a better future for the kids he used to take care of over a better future for himself feels perfectly on brand, the idea of him forfeiting a duel against a major antagonist, while the threat of the entire city being destroyed is hanging above his head... doesn't. Like, yes, I've talked about the fact that Crow is the only character in 5Ds who ever actually loses duels on purpose. What you may remember, though, is that both occasions we've seen him do this—against Lyndon and Yaeger, respectively—were much lower-stakes duels than this. Not to speak of the fact that it also feels a little odd that Crow, of all people, would buy into the idea that Z-ONE's genuinely powerful enough to just give those kids their parents back, given how liberally he called bullshit on pretty much any and all supernatural mumbo-jumbo claiming that fate is inevitable, or that the gods have this-and-that power, or what have you the entire show. (Also, doesn't he strike you as the guy who'd wonder why Z-ONE's not using his fancy powers for better things, if the extent of them is so great? Or is that just me?) It's a moment of character doubt that tries to sell itself as believable, even though we've never been given any hints that this kind of temptation, specifically, could work on Crow.

Ultimately, Crow & Aki VS Sherry feels like a very hot-and-cold duel. On the cardplay side, the teamwork between Aki and Crow is well done, yet the duel does feel like it skews more towards Aki than towards Crow. Sherry, meanwhile, plays tricky and mean like a proper antagonist, but does so at the expense of sacrificing all her previous tactics and monsters (and, arguably, some of her character, though this is probably on purpose, given her transformation into an antagonist). Then, on the character side, we've got Aki in an interestingly Yusei-ish role, which, while it feels like a good way to show how she's matured and learned, wastes her character dynamic with Sherry. On the other side, Crow and Sherry interact in several personal ways throughout the duel that leave you wondering when exactly these two got to know each other so well, because the show certainly didn't give us a visible progression of their dynamic. The only dynamic that leaves nothing to be desired is that between Aki and Crow (stilted speeches aside), because it excellently showcases their friendship and teamwork. Very weird decisions made in the writing here all around.

We'll get into the nitty-gritty of what changes I would have suggested to improve this duel below, but first: What happens after this duel? Well, two more Yusei gear duels, Aporia briefly standing up to Z-ONE, and then, the final, big clash between Yusei and Z-ONE.

Given that Crow isn't even present for two of these duels and then barely gets more to do than stand on the side and react during the final two, I will dare to skip all that, though. Because really, Crow's occasional comments and the play-by-play he sometimes joins the others in giving when spectating a duel don't exactly contribute anything to his character. They're just there so he gets something to do and doesn't fade into the background entirely when a duel that doesn't involve him is going on. This includes the moment where he, much like the other signers, gets to give Yusei Black-Winged Dragon for the final duel, as well as the later moment when Yusei uses it, chanting in tandem with Crow as BWD arrives. And other than that and the tear-jerking moment when he later reacts to Yusei returning despite all odds, he really doesn't get any noteworthy scenes.

In other words, we are skipping straight to the end. So, where do we find Crow there?

(Oh, y i k e s.)

There's a popular post circulating around this site that goes something like "the worst thing you can do to a character is make them a cop during a timeskip". And, look. I don't think I need to tell anyone that becoming a sector security officer is an extremely jarring character choice for Crow. Crow, of all people! The guy with the face full of markers, who used to be part of a duel gang, who was introduced in the show gleefully stealing from security Robin Hood-style, and who has every reason to despise law enforcement! (Leaving aside the obvious logistical issue that Crow in no country in the world could have completed his police training in the few months between the Ark Cradle debacle and this scene. But given that 5Ds generously brushes realistic concerns like this one aside on multiple occasions, this is, funnily enough, the thing I'm also more willing to overlook here. The character dissonance, however, less so.)

I'll try to be generous and guess that the writers were aiming to convey a message somewhere along the lines of "even someone who's done bad things in the past can become an example for others" or something like it. The problem is just that Crow didn't need any such message because he was already the good guy while he was still actively stealing from security. He was the lovable rogue to a T, damn it! But this, in particular, is a surface scratch hinting at a bigger issue, I think—namely, the issue of the show's complete pivot when it came to the depiction of law enforcement after the DS arc. Because when we think back to that part of 5Ds, good security officers were the exception, rather than the rule. And this is exactly what makes Crow of all characters becoming one even weirder. He would know, would remember how security used to treat him, his kids, his friends, his brothers. And if the idea here was that, well, he's trying to improve sector security by joining it and changing it from the inside, so to speak, then guess what was missing again: Our good, old friend setup. I'm starting to feel like a broken record. So yeah, I don't think a ton of people, whether they like or hate Crow, would disagree that this is a supremely weird position to put his character in.

As we find out through 5Ds' epilogue, however, his sector security job isn't quite what Crow actually wants, though. (And thank god, because that would have been such a bizarre position to leave him in.) Instead, we're shown fairly quickly that several duelling leagues are apparently trying to scout Crow out, and that he's tempted to accept one of the offers and go into pro duelling. This is at first shown in a short scene where something like a league scout follows Crow, then later, when the whole group—sans Jack, at first—is getting together and everyone starts discussing their futures. Aside from complaining a bit about his job and upsetting Aki without meaning to, Crow doesn't get much to do here, either. For what it's worth, at least him feeling tempted to ditch the security job feels more in line with the original Crow we got than with whatever strange twist the writers were going for after this shorter timeskip.

What follows is the very last duel of the show, the long-awaited Yusei VS Jack rematch, of course. And while he doesn't get to participate in this one, Crow, much like Aki and the twins, spectates the duel and ends up having an epiphany about what he wants to do. This epiphany ends up being that he does want to turn to pro duelling, and as a reasoning, canon provides us with this:

(As is known, intense card games are the only way to make children smile.)

Personally, I wouldn't say this is a terrible or out of character reason for Crow to decide to go pro. But there's more to that I'd like to discuss. First, though, let's take a quick look at where we find Crow after the second, bigger timeskip, which is inserted right in the middle of Yusei and Jack's final duel.

(Okay, yeah, I'm a sucker for the bullet earrings.)

The quick scene Crow gets here makes it unmistakably clear that he did go into pro duelling, just like he decided during the duel in the past, and not only that, he went into tag-team duelling and apparently managed to reach world champion status with his teammates. The above scene, however, is the exact same moment he decides to leave said team, so he can instead go solo and (presumably) try to beat Jack.

Now, we can discuss this in a bit more detail. Personally, I'm extremely in two minds about Crow being one of three characters, total, who ends up becoming a pro duellist after canon. Jack seems obvious, especially given the pivot back to his more Fortune Cup-esque persona the writers did around the Red Nova episodes. Rua also makes sense, given that Jack was his idol from the start. Crow, though, feels a little more complicated. The thing is, like so many things surrounding Crow in the Ark Cradle arc, the writers gave us no indication pro duelling is something he's really passionate about before this point. Worse, they didn't even really tell us what reason he saw to participate in the WRGP with his brothers beyond "could be fun". So there isn't really a connection here. The same thing goes for the fact that he specifically talks about teaching his teammates above, which is also something he wasn't associated with all that much previously. Though this one is admittedly less egregious, because at least Crow was seen briefly coaching Aki as she prepared to take his spot during the Unicorn duel. Still, while I wouldn't go as far as saying it's an out of character choice for Crow to go pro, it still feels a little odd that he went down the same route as Jack. Personally speaking, it feels like the writers didn't quite know what to do with him. Because as I said, Jack is obvious and Rua also makes sense, and I'd say the same goes for Yusei. Then there's Ruka, who is treated about as in-depth in the epilogue as she was throughout canon, and Aki, whose "setup" for her timeskip self was done extremely hasty and last-minute, but at least it was there. Between all of them, Crow occupies a weird spot where it doesn't so much feel like he ended up on the wrong trajectory for his life, as it simply feels like there were choices the writers could have made that would have fit him much better. What with his theme of legacy and community, trying to make Pearson's dream of a place where disenfranchised children can learn good life skills a reality would have been a good fit, for example. Especially considering his close ties to the Satellite orphans he used to take care of, which, funnily enough, are reinforced one more time as canon flips back to present day and Crow is seen bidding his kids goodbye.

("Come back"? When, precisely? And what part about "literally saved the world twice" doesn't qualify you as a hero to a bunch of kids ten times over already?)

Considering canon seems hellbent on making sure we know the signers went their separate ways and that they aren't anywhere near each other by the very end of the show, though, my guess is that Crow had to end up doing something like pro duelling, in order to get him out of New Domino City and away from the friend group whose shenanigans we were so accustomed to following by that point. Of course, there's also the argument to be made that Crow staying in NDC and getting a more community-focussed ending would have also been significantly less cool than making him a kickass pro duellist with bullet earrings, which circles back to how the writing interacts with its target audience.

The only thing that follows after this, then, is the big goodbye, and with that, ladies, gentlemen, and other lovely 5ds nerds, we have successfully followed bird boy's path throughout the entire show. And what a ride it was. (I did not think this analysis would end up stretching over a whole four posts.) Time for some closing thoughts before I do my thing and suggest some rewrites that could have made all this feel more coherent one more time.

Crow's character arc, if it can even be called that, feels about as hot and cold as his and Aki's final duel with Sherry over the course of the show. His introduction is fast-paced, he's made to be likable quickly, and his integration into the main protagonist group is as quick as everything else about his narrative. Between the way he shows up out of nowhere, briefly disappears without fanfare, and is then reintroduced with even more importance before slipping into the signer group like he's always been there, it truly feels like his entire inclusion in the narrative was a last-minute decision by the writers to include that one, additional character concept Kazuki Takahashi had originally created after all. If there was one way to describe his whole arc, it would be that it's a rush. At the start, the writers are in a hurry to make him likable, then they're in a hurry to make him a signer, then they're in a hurry to give us a whole backstory for him, then they're in a hurry to give him a believable character dynamic with Aki, and at the end, they're in a hurry to pay off a character dynamic with Sherry they didn't properly set up with him. You may notice that leaves significant gaps, and the lack of balance between those gaps and the rushes surrounding them, I believe, are part of why he's such a polarising character.

Crow is integrated so thoroughly into the signer group at the end of the DS arc that, much like Aki and the twins, he gets stuck in the position of being a character that cannot simply be removed from the narrative for a longer amount of time. And this, I think, ends up biting him in the ass, because in the gaps where the writers don't rush to do something big with him, it often feels like they don't quite know what to do with him at all. So, he instead gets relegated to small side tasks, like inane duels that don't affect the plot, or becomes the person who reacts to unfolding situations in whatever manner wouldn't fit Yusei or Jack. He feels like he's the third portion of the protagonist trifecta only in theory—the status of an equal third player seems to be what the writers had in mind, yet, looking at the show, it feels like an honorary title, at best, because the writing choices made for him don't convey anywhere near the same amount of thought and effort as those of Yusei and Jack. Crow's backstory doesn't intersect significantly with that of his brothers, his dragon is introduced way too late and never given an upgrade, he never gets to clash with Iliaster until the Team New World duel, and throughout the entire WRGP and Ark Cradle arc, there isn't a single duelling victory that's solely his. People who prefer other characters over Crow like to harp on about how much screentime he gets; I argue that this is exactly what showcases how poorly the writers took care of him in many instances. For as much as Crow is plastered onto the screen and given the aesthetics of an equal player in a protagonist trio, his many appearances are as much of a curse as they are a gift, because too many of them aren't spent setting up anything meaningful or developing his character in any way. Speaking of character development: There is none. Crow exits the show pretty much exactly the same as he entered it, brief security stint aside. And, look, this need not necesarily be a bad thing. Static characters exist and they have their place in stories. It's just that in Crow's case, his utter lack of development feels like another damning indicator of the writers' cluelessness when it came to utilising him, given his weird, sort-of-elevated-protagonist. Aki, who is so often weighed against him, gets significantly more development than he does. And though Jack also ends up in almost the same place at the end of the show as he was at the start, at least he had a dip in the middle where his character was somewhat malleable and not set in stone. Crow didn't.

What we end up with, then, is a character whose concept is perfectly fine on paper, but whose execution proceeded to turn him into the one and only favourite for some, and the embodiment of piss poor writing for others. Having now looked at pretty much his entire run in the show with a bloody microscope, I end up somewhere in the middle, myself. He's a good character and much of his writing is confusing at best, utter dogshit at worst. As for what decisions in the writing room led to him turning out like this, I'd still pay good money to know them. For what it's worth, I've tried my very best to make an educated guess as to all of them.

And now, for the final time, allow me to do my very best to suggest how the issues of the Ark Cradle arc could have been addressed in order to make Crow's part in it less messy.

In previous posts, I've split up my rewrite suggestions depending on one circumstance: Whether or not Crow stays a signer. However, this time, I will deliberately forgo this, for one, very simple reason—Crow's status as a signer doesn't matter one bit for the Ark Cradle arc. Regardless of whether he has a mark or not, his duel with Sherry remains unaffected, and so does his later timeskip-self. Thus, pick your favourite, both versions work for the Ark Cradle.

Now. Onto the elephant vengeful Frenchwoman in the room. Let me repeat my favourite word in this post one more time. What the dynamic between Crow and Sherry needed, more than anything else, in order to satisfyingly be paid off during their Ark Cradle duel, was setup. There was so much time Crow spent on screen doing fuck all, and some of that time could have so easily been allocated to him interacting with Sherry in a meaningful manner. (I'm side-eyeing especially his pre-WRGP duels. Those did nothing to add to his character and could have easily been replaced with episodes where he actually gets to talk to Sherry one on one.) And if not that, then the writers could at least have done themselves the favour of letting Aki talk to Crow about Sherry, which would have arguably set up their three-way clash even better. Moreover, show us how the hell these two characters parallel each other and how they differ, damn it! The main issue with the big moment Sherry and Crow had in the duel was that Crow's faltering and his sudden, deep understanding of Sherry came completely out of nowhere. So what if they had shown some of that earlier, then? What if they had shown where the lmits of Crow's resolve lie, what could get him to doubt himself? What if they had drawn the parallel of Sherry and Crow both supposedly being characters that sometimes wistfully think about a past they never had earlier? It would have done so much to make that duel hit exactly the way it was probably meant to. As a bonus, if we had gotten Aki and Crow talking about Sherry, too, the scene of talking Sherry out of helping Z-ONE could have been a team effort, just like their card playing was. Both of them would have reasons to know different aspects of Sherry each, and both could have brought up good arguments. And this is really all this duel woild have needed to be better on the story end, I think: A solid, narrative foundation to make it obvious to us why it has to be these three characters duelling, why it could have only been this setup, why it made the most sense to let these three bounce off each other. Crow only needs that extra step to slot in better with the girls here.

As for the epilogue, I don't think anyone will be surprised to read that I would have never made Crow a cop, not even temporarily. The depiction of law enforcement 5Ds gives us during the DS arc is too damning for that. However, given the way the ending is structured, he does need some sort of occupation that feels like it's not quite the right thing so he can later change his mind about it, of course. Here, though, is where I, purely in service of Crow's character, would suggest a change that probably doesn't work with the ending's final aim of separating the 5Ds gang by hundreds of kilometres each. I would let Crow go into pro duelling first, then let him figure out that's not what he actually wanted. Crow, to me, is a character who is so intrinsically tied to community and family that turning him into a solitary pro duellist—even if he claims to do it to make the kids back home smile—feels off to me. Thus, from a character standpoint, I would let him pivot back to wanting to take care of those kids. Either through what I suggested above, letting him carry on Pearson's dream, or, which also feels fitting to me, by letting him help out Martha again and setting him up as the guy who'll take over when she can no longer run the orphanage. It's not the cool, glamorous end the show gave him, but it's what feels more like the family-focussed guy we first met in the show. It doesn't gel with the idea of permanently separating him from the other signers, though, unfortunately. To do something like that while keeping his community theme, one would probably have to send him away to shack up with Brave or something, to help orphans in other countries. But this, I think, nicely showcases the dissonance between what Crow's character writing would suggest he might do at the end, and what the show demanded he needed to do so he'd no longer be close to the others. Because my focus, as always, is only on character here. And Crow, with his personality and his writing, feels like the character who chafes the most against the idea of striking out solo, abandoning his ties to the community he was so invested in previously. To that extent, the above suggestion is the best I can provide with what we were canonically given. If we wanted to keep the canon ending he gets and actually make it make sense why he suddenly wants to be a lone wolf pro, the only thing I could suggest would be more setup for that. (Ah, there it is again. One final time.) Show Crow having some actual competitive drive, show him enjoying the whole tournament thing more than he thought he would during the WRGP. Just give us something that shows why he would want to go down this path, and why some other things that were previously important to him might not be a priority anymore. It all comes back to setup.

*Deep breath*

So, here we are, then, and this is it. This is all I could make of Crow's character writing in the entire show. To everyone who read this post in its entirety, a heartfelt thank you. To everyone who read the whole series of posts in its entirety, I'm so glad you're as insane about this show as I am, it makes me feel incredibly appreciated. Hope you enjoyed the ride, more meta posts will come eventually, just about different topics. In the meantime, see ya.

[doodler16]

Hey! It's me again (I love coming to this Anon Box lol.) so here's the Exterminators (+ One of their S2 Designs)

Okay so they are canonically together as apparent by the written word.

This was their old designs back when I was prototyping.

But here's the season one designs (finalized)

The storyline was implied that Azzy had some sort of debt to Razzamoth (The guy who is taller than him, because size heights are my fav)

I wanted to explore that when Zarbon arrives in HFIL as the first soul there.

So let me tell you, The Demon Realm has it's poor side, and Azzy lived there alone until Razzamoth took him in (Opposite from Chaggie's Meeting.) at first they started off as friends before being hired by The Current Demon King (HFIL and Hell are somewhat different.) so they worked as missonaries exterminating every year on October 31st.

Razzamoth and Azzy entered the relationship and they both got together, now here's the depressing part after the finale of Season One he ended up losing his partner after the person (Fu) who they Vaggie'd (Minus losing an eye because Fu lost his writing arm, I think the Right one.) killed Razzamoth after Cell ripped out Azzy's eye.

Azzy retreats and this is the saddest part from the following short before Season Two Commenced.

Azzy returned back to The Demon Realm covering his eye, he was suppressing the urge to break down in tears. But held himself together momentarily by reminding him that he was better than this, that any form of hurt was weakness, and that Razzamoth wouldn’t want him to show such disgusting emotions. The Demon arrived in the room where his Demon King resided and he clenched Razzamoth’s earrings so hard that it could’ve been turned to dust. With a shaky breath, Azzy knelt down. “King Gomah.” He greets, and grimaces, he always considered Gomah a pawn, an eventual pawn to use and once Razzamoth and Azzy became his loyal servants they planned to backstab and overthrow Gomah and make Razzamoth King of The Demon Realm. That was the plan… Or it was until they killed him.  Razzamoth didn’t deserve death, if anything Azzy deserved it more. He deserved to die at the blade of the one he mutilated, took one for the team, but he did nothing, he was such a coward. 

Writing this immense survivals guilt was wat I liked.

Anyways here's his Season Two Design! Plus the eyepatch, though in his "Gravity" like song he rips off the eyepatch.

I hope you like this, let me know how you're fw this character. He's by far my favorite.

Also here's some VA for the finale scene although the VA are no longer apart of this, and I will be replacing them with the new VA sadly. (Yes I VA as the narrator.)

(Link is here) ["https://youtu.be/buH_wjgKMs8"]

Hope you enjoy the VA! (Use a VPN if it doesn't appear as this is blocked in some countries.)

The outfits look nice! So since the demon realm has a poor side, there’s going to be a middle class turn the rich, right? Exterminating on October 31st is pretty cool because that time is Halloween and you supposed to be enjoying yourself but instead it’s full of horror and gore. Kind of like a scary movie. It’s pretty ironic in a good way.

Nice to see there are actual stakes for different characters such as losing an arm, getting their eye ripped out, etc. Azzy’s design is metal and I love the white eye patch, it reminded me of “Kill Bill.” Quick question about Azzy regarding his season 2 design, he went through a time skip right? I see his hair got longer.

[milgram-tournament]

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 1, Match 8 TRIAGE vs. I LOVE YOU

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for TRIAGE:

1. THE VOCALS!!!! TRIAGE REALLY GAVE A CHANCE TO LET SHIDOU'S VA SHINE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT!!! THAT FINAL CHORUS??? SO GOOD!!

2. SPEAKING OF THE FINAL CHORUS, THAT SLOWED DOWN PART???? STUNNING

3. THE LYRICS OH MY GOD I'M CRYING!!! "If the voices crying out in pain, can be saved by me Allow it to be my charge and mission"??? "I want to be INNOCENT, I want to live"??? PURE GOLD!!

3.25. OH AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE "extract that fang" LINE. IT'S SO GOOD!!!!

3.5. THE WAY THE LYRICS PERFECTLY REPRESENT HIS INTERNAL CONFLICT AND HIS ARC??? SO GOOD!!!

4. THE MV??? CATCH ME CRYING

To conclude: Triage is in my top 3 Milgram songs, I love it so much!! It turned Shidou from a character I didn't care about to one of my favorites!!!!!

---

-The scene with Shidou and his family… yeah don’t talk to me I’m so emo about it.

-The arc Shidou goes through during the song?? It starts with “why did you vote me innocent I don’t deserve it” to “I’m going to do my best with what you’ve given me.” Is really cool and I don’t think it’s talked about enough!!

-The final “I want to live!” Enough said. Shidou’s voice in general just fits this song really well.

-It gives a really good motive for Shidou, and helps you feel sorry for him. (Easiest inno vote of my life!)

Propaganda for I LOVE YOU:

mappi’s spitting bars 🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️

ok but i, as the iloveyoucountdown person before it released, waited 89 days for ily and SHE DID NOT DISAPPOINT‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥 go vote ily now bc its peak music

---

the acoustic section where it just feels so raw and emotional it's crazy also we love to see mappi/miho okasaki rapping again and good lord mahiru delivered hadauwd, like you think about it a lot? like "Ishokujuu plus ai Miss you Raishuu aemasuka no Cadence Yurusarenai ikigai mou iki mo dekinai" it's also so catchy just "Dai- dai- dai- datte suki suki! Dai- dai- dai- datte daisuki."

it's such a quick song but it delivers and it DELIVERS WELL there's so much in the instrumental you can also miss, like sirens and such! again guitar section it's crazy!! i didn't even touch on the visuals, like the visuals are absolutely amazing and really touch on the toxic cycle of mahiru's relationship for example, the carousel turning into a forest! and also they were still able to implement some of tihtbilwy in the beginning of the song! we got to see mahiru's boyfriend as well!! additionally, RATS AND CAKE. HOLY SHIT we all know the absolute shock that appeared on everyone's faces the second that cake turned into a rat (to be honest, I was absolutely sick with shock for the rest of the day) It's really amazing as a song and MV, plus it did help give some more information on Mahiru!

---

miho okasaki's vocals are so powerful. it sounds like mahiru is screaming because of not being forgiven and because of what happened to her boyfriend and because "she can't just do it right".

THE LYRICS ARE SO. "clothes food shelter + love and miss you"?? "my lethal weapon is how to be in love with you"?? "kiss goodbye to this feeling cuz it's too heavy"?? again, the "why can't i just do it right" line?? SO GOOD.

MAHIRU RAPPING. THIS SONG STARTS WITH HER RAPPING. LITERAL CHILLS

i've heard the i love you chorus once and now it's in my head forever. i wake up, i sing the i love you chorus. i go to sleep, i sing the i love you chorus.

the lyrics are so sad when you start thinking about them more. "saying i love you but doing what i did, i know i have no right, crossed and covered in sin"?? please, don't you want to give mappi a hug. please she deserves it. she needs it

the "DIE-suki" pun.

the mv is so. i can talk about it for hours. it literally starts with showing us what happened to her bf. i've watched it live, i knew about this part and i still was shocked. mahiru's boyfriend is dead. mahiru is also rapping. also, the lyrics. this scene is terrifying to me and i mean it in the best way possible.

the cake symbolism. mahiru refusing to accept her reality and the true nature of her relationship with her bf and still seeing everything around her as cute and soft and pink. her feeling guilty and not knowing how to express love properly and still choosing to continue to love in this way. i don't know, something about it is so.. it's so sad and so realistic and so heartbreaking

i love how we can say so much about her relationship with her boyfriend based on mv and the lyrics. this is more of a theory and i probably shouldn't talk about it but i like the fact that mappi and her bf's relationship wasn't just abusive or one-sided love or anything like that. it's like they loved each other, they just.. didn't know how to show it or express it in a healthy way (or maybe mahiru's bf did know, but he was okay with going through all of this for her). like this scene when they're both riding the carousel and looking happy at first and even when both of them look like a mess, mahiru's face expression is still pretty much the same while her boyfriend looks much more tired, but he's still smiling. something about that part breaks me.

the instrumental is so fun and chaotic and creepy please listen to it. all milgram instrumentals are great but ily instrumental is definitely one of my fav ones.

[armenianwriterman]

If you were not previously aware, there is a My Hero Academia musical theater adaptation called the Ultra Stage. I've been watching videos of it and it is so good! I am obsessed with it and you should look it up yourself. As of right now there are four stage plays that cover the show's events up to the end of Deku vs Kacchan Part 2. Some highlights include:

A very talented cast of actors who really embody the characters and perfectly sell the songs and choreography. The big highlights for me are Ryota Kobayashi as Bakugo, Yume Takeuchi as Ochako, Raita as Shigaraki, and Yuki Okamoto as Present Mic.

Great costumes dedicated to faithfully recreating the looks from the show (seriously, Present Mic and Shigaraki looked like they stepped out of the screen and materialized into live action)

Some really dang good songs! My personal highlights for me are "All Might" (All Might's pretty catchy theme music that gets multiple reprisals), "All Might: Izuku and Shigaraki Version" (A specific reprisal I want to highlight that's an incredible duet that takes place during the mall scene), "Evil is Spreading" (A villain song by Dabi, Toga and Twice), and finally "I Want To Be a Hero" (the main theme that plays at every stage play).

Gran Torino has an entire song where he sings about frozen taiyaki using his cane as a guitar while All Might, Endeavor, Aizawa, Present Mic and Best Jeanist put on white suit jackets and serve as his back up singers. The whole thing is bonkers enough to deserve its own separate mention.

They use a ton of practical effects to recreate the Quirks in live action, such as ribbons for Tsuyu's tongue and Sero's tape, mini sparklers for Bakugo's explosions and Kaminari's electricity, and they even managed to recreate Shigaraki' disintegration power and I still don't fully understand how they did it.

The stage play is very funny. There's always someone in the ensemble doing something silly in the background, every single person hams it up like no tomorrow (except Aizawa naturally), and they have a ton of fun with the stage play medium.

The transformation between big and small All Might is to have one run on stage, stand in front of the other while matching his pose, and then take over while the first All Might runs off stage. It's super endearing.

Nezu in this play is a puppet they make the teachers carry around and interact with, and seeing it fills my heart with joy every single time.

During act breaks, they have Aizawa, Present Mic and Aoyama come on stage to entertain the audience with improv skits they do in character. They are ridiculous even compared to everything else that happens, and they need to be seen to be believed.

The fight scenes are very well choreographed and feel like actual combat.

Even in spite of all the goofy elements, they actually do take the story seriously and there are some really tense moments, most of which are Shigaraki's scenes.

There's a very funny detail at the end of the first play where every single actor comes on stage and does the "Go Beyond, Plus Ultra!", except Shigaraki, who just looks at them in annoyance

I know I mention Shigaraki specifically a lot in this list but the dude who plays him goes so hard in the role that I have to give him extra credit.

To portray Hagakure, they use a projector to create an invisible person wearing clothes and have Nazuka Kaori, her actual Japanese VA from the show, pre record a bunch of lines and play them on stage.

This one isn't really a "highlight" per say but they somehow made Midnight's outfit even hornier then canon and that's genuinely impressive tbh.

There's a scene of Tsuyu dancing around in tap shoes and it's so perfectly adorable.

The subtle character development of Todoroki slowly getting involved with the dancing and shenanigans as the plays go on are fantastic.

They don't always have all the kids in every play so instead they have items to represent the ones who aren't around, ie in the first three plays they have a smile pile of sugar cubes glued together and everyone calls it Sato while Kirishima carries it around everywhere.

There's one act break skit in particular that kills me where Aoyama and Twice try to fight for the audience's attention.

Kota punching Deku in the nuts is somehow just as funny in live action despite him obviously not actually punching him.

They made the doctor healing Izuku after the Muscular fight so funny for literally no reason and I'm so glad they did.

In this recording I watched, Aizawa got an actual leg cramp mid improv skit and his and Mic's struggle to stay in character was honestly gold.

They manage to make All for One, his big fight with All Might, and the United States of Smash just as badass as they were in the anime.

Koda's pet bunny in this version is portrayed as Bakugo in a bunny suit. That's a highlight in and of itself.

Bakugo throughout the Deku vs Kacchan Part 2 fight and the end of the final show of the fourth stage play looks like he's constantly on the verge of tears and it works so well.

In conclusion, this is so amazing, more people need to see it and I hope that they get to continue and adapt the rest of the series.

[colonelpancakes]

I am, at long last, getting around to watching the new season of The Dragon Prince so. Have some of my thoughts on the new episodes. Uh I guess this is kind of a liveblog thing? Idk, I wrote these down while I was watching the episode. Under the cut because this ended up getting quite long. Image IDs are in the alts. I'm new to this be nice to me-

Okay, is it just me or does this startouch elf look kinda like Sarai? I swear she does, she has like the same face shape. I don't know, maybe it's just me and my god awful facial recognition but... 👀

Also, "We are, all of us, stardust held together by love for an instant." is such a beautiful quote. It reminds me of the Minecraft End Poem.

Ooh, I love the twist on the previous Mystery of Aaravos intro. I wonder if this is gonna be the intro for the whole season or if it'll switch to something else after this episode?

Poor Terry he does not deserve to be dealing with all this shit. He's such a sweetheart. A little bit of a fucked up sweetheart but a sweetheart nonetheless.

Oh so Viren’s not dead. Huh. I need to rewatch the S5 finale because I’m gonna be honest, I do Not remember exactly what happened. Viren was going to die if he didn’t kill Sir Sparklepuff? I think? Or maybe that was just what they thought was gonna happen and there was a chance it wouldn’t? I don’t remember. Anyways, congrats Viren on your new will to live.

Claudia. Claudia what did you do Claudia?

Claudia, why is the sand covered in blood?

CLAUDIA!

Oh poor Terry... You can see the moment he spots the severed wing.

Hey, quick question, WHY IS THIS SHOW STILL RATED Y7? This would have fucking traumatized me as a seven year old! I thought there was a limit on how much blood you can show on a Y7 show, HELLO?? OUGH.

“It’s like you said. You do anything for family. However dangerous, however vile.” “No. No that’s… that’s not quite right. It’s never what I meant. You do anything for your children. Never the other way around. No parent wants their child to suffer for them.” Ough… Oh that hurts. Ohhhh. Also, “no that’s not quite right” is the same thing he says to her in the first episode when she says something weird. Callbacks to simpler times ow that hurts.

OH YEAH. JUST RIP MY HEART OUT WHY DON'T YOU? Augh.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST GIVE CLAUDIA’S VA AN AWARD. NOW. That is hands down actually the most like. Realistic depiction of someone crying in any media I have ever encountered. The way she sounds like a child having a breakdown? She’s not crying quietly, she’s screaming and sobbing oh my god. I literally started tearing up watching as like a sympathetic response good grief. Who is Claudia’s voice actress? I looked it up and apparently it’s Racquel Belmonte. Give her like fifty awards right now

Viren. Viren listen. I appreciate that you are attempting to heal and face justice and become a better person separated from dark magic. I really do appreciate it. Good for you. HOWEVER. Perhaps, just maybe, abandoning your daughter, who has become an amputee less than a day ago, in the wilderness with no one but her boyfriend after she just completed a very traumatizing ritual AND knowing that she has severe abandonment issues after her mother and brother both left her. Is not the best move? Like. That girl is not mentally stable she needs support. She does not need her dad abandoning her on a beach, covered in blood and missing a leg as she screams and cries for him not to leave her. Viren, just caring about your daughter does not automatically make you a good dad. Viren. Viren you have to actually stay and support your child and NOT LEAVE HER IN THE FUCKING WILDERNESS. I do, though appreciate how they are creating a character who does CARE about his children so so much. And is still an absolutely god awful father to both of them.

Awww the baitlings are so cute 🥹

Pondering the Orb 🧙‍♂️

Callum… Callum you good? I am getting a very bad feeling about Callum being so adamant about destroying it. I feel like that is absolutely how Aaravos gets released and maybe he’s controlling Callum? This all feels like a bad idea. Also, I will admit the Lord of The Rings joke made me giggle.

Exactly what I was saying, Rayla! Destroying the pearl sounds like a terrible idea.

Ohhh… Poor Zym… He misses his mama. Also, I can’t remember if this was in previous seasons, but I appreciate the stitching in the painting where it was mended after being ripped apart. Such a good detail.

Hey Callum, why are you glowing with star magic? Is it because Aaravos is possessing y- oh nevermind it’s the monkey.

Mmmm the difference between Rayla and Callum. Rayla will put the safety of the world over her loved ones. Callum will put his loved ones over the safety of the world. Rayla refuses doing something that could potentially endanger the world even if it would mean getting her parents back.

Oh, so it’s not Aaravos influencing Callum it’s just Callum being anxious. Also, give Callum’s voice actor an award he's nailed the tone of "so filled with anxious energy you can't stop you have to do something, it's like you're driven by a motor." and that is a very specific tone.

[More in reblogs because I ran out of room.]

[oh-hell-help-me]

Day 30: Volcanic

To be honest, Luigi didn’t think he’d get this far.

Long before the peace talks and his position as an Ambassador, he wouldn’t have even considered the possibility that he’d get together with Bowser either.

And yet here he is, waiting to be walked down the aisle.

The wedding preparations were a few notches below chaotic, if only because of their large budget and the practice Bowser had in setting them up.

(Something Bowser admitted to having a lot of fun doing, even if they ended up ruined.)

His willing input- something clearly novel for Bowser- was met with excitement. Combined with the luxury of setting up a guest list, menu, floral arrangements, and all the nitty gritty detail work that came with co-planned weddings? Absolutely ecstatic.

And then there’s the dress.

It wasn’t initially Luigi’s idea- the honor would go to Junior- but he was fully on board the moment both Bowser and Wendy started presenting him with ideas, sketches, and swatches of temptingly soft fabric.

(By the time he decided on a style, Bowser was kicked out since ‘grooms weren’t supposed to see the bride's dress before the wedding’. Personally, he thinks Wendy wanted to capitalize on the project.)

The next thing he knew, he was having several fittings with an A-Line dress that showed off his shoulders but still covered his neck and chest- a ‘Backless Halter Neck’, according to Wendy.

Whatever it might be, it’s a dress that makes him comfortable-

Something greatly needed when he also feels a second away from passing out.

Yes, he’s excited to get married. Yes, he’s excited to marry Bowser. Yes, he is sure that he wants to be married now.

But that didn’t take away the sheer terror of facing a new start in his life- to finally commit and be committed to in a way that will span the rest of his life (or Bowser’s life, considering..).

He feels like the world is getting smaller like there isn’t any air, and what if he isn’t meant to be happy and doesn’t deserve-

“Luigi?”

Mario had seen the wedding coming a mile away- even before Mina’s arrival (which he never could have predicted).

Heck, he even anticipated Luigi taking the first step by proposing. Despite his timid nature, his brother was the kind of person to embrace happiness regardless of the potential hardships that might come with it.

It was a trait he always admired his brother for- to have the bravery to try even as he was scared shitless.

And the days leading up to the wedding have cemented that admiration. Every hurdle was overcome with determination. Every conflict between citizens of different kingdoms is met with gentle patience…

Seeing him handle each one made it easier to accept that Luigi was going to be married.

Which is why, when he arrives to walk his baby brother down the aisle, he is surprised to find the bride-to-be hyperventilating against the doors to the venue.

“Luigi?”

He sees him flinch, but he doesn’t uncurl from his position as Mario drew closer.

It’s enough to have him rush to his side, take him by the shoulders, and let him lean into a hug. Not even seconds passed before he felt his brother's hands grasp desperately around his back- burrowing his head in his neck as he tries to calm down.

To Mario, it felt like watching a runaway train- seeing it derail and crash in a way he couldn't look away- and he won't. Not when Luigi needed him.

"Luigi- cosa c'è che non va, fratellino?"

"Lo non- cosa succude se- What if I'm making a mistake- am I dragging him down-"

And Mario understood- he did considering Peach, but he also understood that if he didn't get to the bottom of this... "And who says that you're dragging him down? Or that he's settling for a mistake?"

"N-no one. But-"

"Ma niente. Luigi, this is your day- the biggest and likely the best day you'll have and remember and share with the grande tartaruga!" And he thinks on that, and belatedly asks- "Do you love him, veramente?"

"Lo faccio. lo amo, Mario."

"Then what is it that you are afraid of, Luigi?"

"I- I feels fast- come se non sapessi cosa aspettarmi. It feels like I might mess up- or that I might lose all of this- all of the happiness- il suo amore, la famiglia, il mio bambina..."

He holds him tighter, and can't help but give a wobbly chuckle.

"[Luigi, fratellino, I'll still be here- we'll all be here, whether you like it or not- even if you ask." He lets him go if only to grasp him by the shoulders again and look him in the eyes. "And even if you call the wedding off, Bowser will still be there for you because he loves you. You're fine, Luigi. You'll be okay because we love you and we'll be here."

And Luigi?

He lets him hold that gaze, lets him search for any sort of doubt or lie (not that Mario ever would, but he knows why and understands).

"Okay." Another calming breath. "Okay."

Bowser was anxious- no, terrified as he waited at the alter.

As a force of habit, his first thought is that Mario has somehow waylaid the bride. But-

Even he knew (long before he even fancied Luigi) that the shorter Mario Brother wouldn't dream of doing that- not when his brother's happiness was on the line.

Even so, the wait was killing him with 'what ifs'.

What if something went wrong, while he wasn't looking.

What if Luigi was regretting it- regretting him- regretting marrying him-

What if he didn't love him-

Logic- and so many instances where he literally felt that sought-for love radiate from Luigi- have met each doubt in turn- made it less likely, but-

Well, he never claimed to be purely logical.

But then he heard the venue doors open-

And then nothing mattered anymore.

Not when Luigi came out the doors with joy on his face and the same sparkling of his eyes that Bowser came to love.

Not when it was Luigi seeming to lead Mario down the aisle in his eagerness.

Not when he arrives, looking at him like he held the whole universe in his grasp.

Not when it felt like he had his whole universe right in front of him, beaming and holding his paws with gentle hands.

Not when they vowed to stay 'through sickness and health', not when they exchanged rings.

Not when they said, "I do."

And especially not when they leaned close, breaths sharing as one, eyes open and vulnerable and so- so happy-

Not when they kissed, and his whole being felt volcanic enough to burst with the happiness that is in and around him.

[suffarustuffaru]

hiii i made another rezero spotify playlist again.

so this goes through subarus Entire character arc from arc 1 all the way roughly to arc 8!! gonna put notes under the cut.

theres a few repeat songs from my other playlists, mainly from the emilia playlist and the other subaru playlist i made, but i keep it to a minimum!! these songs are important okay.

i use several rezero songs because. well a lot of official rezero songs are from subaru's pov if you look at the lyrics + play in certain crucial moments. and also theyre bops and this is my playlist so i do what i want HAH

also in general i wanted to choose a blend of. more depressing songs. but also more upbeat ones. and a mixture of both of those. subaru has a rollercoaster of an arc hah i had to get a specific Tone here.

the first three songs are the intro songs!! the ones that summarize subarus entire character <3 okay also i know "the whole being dead thing" is an absolutely hilarious choice for a subaru playlist. even in just the song title alone. but LMAO i stand by that choice. 1000%.

"waving through a window" is like. just a bit pre-arc 1, then "connect" is the arc 1 to arc 2 transition

"relive" and "peace and love on the planet earth" mark memory snow and the end of arc 2 overall. "all i've ever known" is in this section because of remsuba growing close together. "ceilings" and "same boat" are in this section because i think they kind of fit the specific kind of Yearning subaru has. just in the sense that rbd undos time hes spent with the others; he loves them, but do they love him back? he knows them, but they dont know him. that sort of thing. i had to acknowledge it ;-;;;

"wrecking ball" (yes i know its a very fitting song title aljsldf) to "mr loverman" are arc 3!! also yes i know theres a lot of songs from the show crazy ex-girlfriend in this section but like. hear me out okay those songs fit. i think it's easy to tell what theyre referring to with the song titles alone also alksdjfljksfd

(and yes "what is this feeling?" is referencing subaru and julius's unfortunate first meeting. i couldnt resist.)

"realize" (this is specifically the cover that subarus va did!!) to "hopes and dreams" is arc 4. "look whos inside again" and "this is me trying" can be seen as references to subaru's first trial also.

"haven't you noticed (i'm a star" to "fightsong" are the transition from arc 4 to arc 5. and yes i had to include the song "boy bi".

"theater D" to "zero to hero" is the rest of arc 5. and yes theater D is an extremely good song okay it deserves to be in this playlist twice. the second time just represents sirius fucking shit up <3 "i see stars" is supposed to represent subaru's heroic speech to the entire city!! "immortals" is also in reference to subaru learning reinhard can Also die and come back.

"soldier, poet, king" is the transition into arc 6. you can also see the "soldier, poet, king" as julius, subaru, and emilia.

"demons" to "soap" is the rest of arc 6 <3 and if you so desire it you can see "at my back" and "what else can i do?" as julisuba (platonic or otherwise) songs.

"collusion" and "malachite's theme" are the transition into arc 7-8 and the rest of the songs that follow after are the rest of arc 7-8!! "run boy run" marks the start of the child subaru arc yes.

"your reality" is the finale song... i know it's like a pretty calming choice for a subaru playlist aljsdlf but i feel like the lyrics are fitting for the entirety of his character arc and the possible direction it might take yes!!

[chaifootsteps]

I really feel you & anon about KenDraws - when the first allegations about poor workplace treatment came out I thought maybe it was a case of poor management over malicious mismanagement; that a new indie studio had hired a lot of people out of college and not supported them properly or set unrealistic deadlines and failed to account for the fact that people have to work multiple jobs to support themselves (though the sharing of Erin's medical info always disgusted me and there's no way anyone can 'two sides' that imo) - i.e. it was stuff they could learn from and get better about, but for me KenDraws' account was the straw that broke the camel's back.

My jaw was on the floor learning KenDraws was the one who suggested Alastor stay at the hotel for his own entertainment, because that's part of the inciting incident and setup of the whole show. It's the kind of idea and dynamic that you'd expect the creator to come up with and come up with first, and be thought out as part of the story going forwards.

And to credit such an integral part of the show, plus several jokes, as 'additional writing'??? That is not additional writing, that is concept writing and script writing. It really made me mad to see how much of a struggle it was to get even that bare minimum of credit when Viv dropped so many ideas and lines that weren't her idea into the final pilot and covered it up with 'that was early draft stuff/we changed things around'. Reading the Discord logs it's blatantly not that, and if I can get ad hominem for a second there's a really maddening 'I'm too lazy and untalented to come up with this on my own, please help me' wheedling tone in Viv's messages to Ken - the whole 'I'm good at this and not that' thing especially. If you aren't good at it then either focus the pilot around your supposed strengths or credit your co-writers properly! Anyone whose had someone lazy or untalented sponge off them knows how uncomfortable and annoying it is to be stuck with someone like Viv as a boss. It feels like the main reason Brandon gets to be credited as a writer is because he's already a 'name' but anyone Viv considers beneath her it's free game to steal their ideas and fail to credit them when they provide her massive amounts of help because she knows her fandom will merrily throw them under the bus with a minimum amount of prompting from her, and sometimes none at all.

It's why I'm so glad to see Ashley and Michael thrive outside her shadow. I've seen mixed opinions on Faustisse and I'm not up to date with that, but I did see the screenshots about the issues she had getting paid and assuming that's Viv she's talking about, no one deserves to be exploited like that.

Viv mistreats the talent, they go elsewhere - and they don't stop being better than Viv at the thing she's failing so hard at rn. I'm so glad to see the rest of the indie animation scene supporting each other so much: I think this is the sense of community people wished for when Helluva started and why the biggest scandal to hit the fandom felt like it was when the pilot VAs got dropped so unceremoniously. It's just partly a community of people who got burned working for Viv who now have a perfect mental model of what they don't want in their working lives so they can make something better. I hope all the best for the people she's hurt & used

I don't have a think to add to this, Anon. This is absolutely beautiful and well said.

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"Confederate monuments bear what the anthropological theorist Michael Taussig would call a public secret: something that is privately known but collectively denied. It does no good to simply reveal the secret — in this case, to tell people that most of the Confederate monuments were erected not at the end of the Civil War, to honor those who fought, but at the height of Jim Crow, to entrench a system of racial hierarchy. That’s already part of their appeal. Dr. Taussig has argued that public secrets don’t lose their power unless they are transformed in a manner that does justice to the scale of the secret. He compares the process to desecration. How can you expect people to stop believing in their gods without providing some other way of making sense of this world and our future?

Swords Into Plowshares might have been the first to propose melting, but other communities are working out their own creative visions for Lee’s afterlife. One of the biggest changes so far has been at Arlington House, the historic plantation mansion at the center of Arlington National Cemetery, which is the official national Robert E. Lee Memorial. In 2021, Arlington House reopened with displays not only about Lee’s family, who lived there after they inherited it from Lee’s father-in-law, but also about the lives of the families enslaved there. Even Lee’s burial site at Washington and Lee University in Lexington, Va. — where he served as president after the war — has changed. The university decided to focus on Lee the civilian rather than Lee the general, for example by moving a prominent portrait of him in uniform. And it constructed a wall to enclose the large sculpture of Lee that once claimed an insistent place in the university’s chapel.

Covering this story over the past few years, I’ve come to realize two things. First, when a monument disappears without a ceremony to mark why it is coming down, a community has no chance to recognize that it has itself changed. (Ideally the ceremony is public, but because of safety concerns, the melting I attended was not.) Second, if you are outraged that something’s happening to your community’s heroic statue of Lee, you’re not going to be any less outraged if the statue is moved to some hidden storeroom than if it’s thrown into a landfill. So if all changes, large or small, will be resisted, why not go for the ones with the most symbolic resonance?

That’s why the idea to melt Lee down, as violent as it might initially seem, struck me as so apt. Confederate monuments went up with rich, emotional ceremonies that created historical memory and solidified group identity. The way we remove them should be just as emotional, striking and memorable. Instead of quietly tucking statues away, we can use monuments one final time to bind ourselves together into new communities.

...

When the remaining legal barriers were cleared (including a last-minute lawsuit that sought to have the statue reassembled), Lee was finally ready to surrender to the furnace. The foundryman turned on the propane supply and laid Lee’s sword across the hole in the lid. He told the spectators that the metal had to get hot enough to release any moisture before he maneuvered it down through the hole into the crucible.

When he did, its blade stuck up out of the furnace for a moment, then melted down “like a stick of butter,” as Dr. Schmidt put it.

Lee’s face was the last piece to go into the crucible. Given how often the monument and its ideals were celebrated with flames — from Klansmen’s torches to the tiki torches of white nationalists in 2017 — it seemed fitting for flames to close over the monument.

...

Dr. Douglas, Swords Into Plowshares’ other co-founder, apologized that the ceremony could not be public. She thanked those in attendance, telling us we were witnessing it on behalf of Charlottesville’s residents, including those long gone who lived under slavery. Someday, she said, when we think of Civil War heroes, we will imagine not Lee but, instead, those who fought for their freedom against him.

The man in the protective visor dropped the red-hot piece of metal that once represented Lee on the ground. It fell to pieces, which he fed into the crucible. A line of cameras faced him, making new images of history as the old image finally disappeared in flames.

- Erin Thompson, "The Most Controversial Statue in America Surrenders to the Furnace." New York Times. October 24, 2023. Photo by Eze Amos.

[lavenderjewels]

JJK season 2 episode 21 thoughts! ✨

Went into this episode expecting the iconic “I am you” scene to be animated, left with two incredible works of art now ingrained into my memories (todo and takada-chan beating up mahito)

All this about Todo wanting to imitate All Might from MHA last episode, but I’m thrilled that the animators confirmed that Todo is actually living the magical idol anime dream that Gege Akutami initially was going to write before starting JJK. AND managed to make the volume cover I never really liked into a beautiful and hilarious moment 💗✨

Music / ost worked the entire episode and went silent when it was needed. Some of the previous eps had parts with their pacing or music that lessened the emotions of the scenes (e.g. right after Nanami died), but everything here flowed well!

As much as I like talking about JJK, sometimes, at my core, I just like watching a good and entertaining fight scene, and that was a majority of this episode until the end. It battle shonen’d in the best way a battle shonen can be. It’s a satisfying feeling to have snail mahito, a birthday, a magical girl segment, and a metaphorical rabbit wolf clashing of truths all in one fight.

The voice acting still amazing with every episode—Mahito and Yuuji being the highlights. I’ve said this a few times, but Mahito’s VA captures the (literal) childish personality and mindset of his character. Last episode, it was how he threw around and yelled at Yuuji like a kid throwing around a doll. This ep was along the same lines, with him immediately crying and throwing dirt at Yuuji. It’s not the exact same, since he is a curse, but it shows how he just came into being and was constantly learning and curious about the world. And the second Yuuji actually badly hurts him, stops him from running away, and repeats similar beliefs back to him, he breaks down. They really are the “same.”

Now Yuuji!!! His new conviction, if it can be called that, about being a cog made to kill curses until he’s worn out. Not exactly the healthiest mindset, but it’s an unsurprising progression after losing control of his own body/autonomy, losing his mentor and best friend (both figures of reassurance and hope), having his entire foundation for living and abiding by his grandpa’s dying wishes be challenged—all while needing to keep moving forward, to not fall into complete despair.

The voice acting in his speech back to Mahito sounded lifeless, but authentic to what he now believes. I appreciated how little the VA gave emphasis to any words and spoke it all in one similar tone. Some of the way it was spoken also sounded like it was affected somewhat by his mouth wound, which was a nice touch.

Manga spoilers for the points below‼️

Continuing: Yuuji’s new mindset is faulty and I love how much the episode shows the flaws of how Mahito and him thought, and how they’re both still incredibly young with their views constantly challenged by their new experiences. We get what’s supposed to be a cathartic scene of Yuuji killing Mahito and stalking him like a predator towards a prey animal, only to have the final killing blow be taken by Kenjaku, another predator (when your mom steals your deserved murder 🙄).

I’ve always appreciated how this moment was not presented as this great turn of beliefs that leads to success, and instead immediately gives him this unfulfilling and destructive outcome. Like, I’ll take Yuuji beating Mahito as a momentary win, but it’s not going to work out in the long run for himself or anyone. Which makes me interested in where his character is headed for the rest of the manga. There’s probably more to say with him regarding the story’s themes on strength/weakness, enlightenment, hunger, etc., but I love what we are given here.

His entire cog in a machine (of war) also reminds me of the series’ title emphasizing endless repetition of fights and everything looping (got the translation from the blog at kylescooter.com). JJK has constant examples and themes of past generation vs new generations, traditional vs unconventional, etc, but also repeating history and being stuck in the same ways. This post is already too long, but I wonder how Gege will conclude all this and if anything will change.

Said up there that there wasnt anything I disliked about the episode, but I do wish wolf Kenjaku was added! Not just because I adore the scene (for its imagery and hinting at them being related), but also because it would’ve been cool to transition out of that scene by having wolf Kenjaku show up.

Next ep will have Choso, the Kyoto school, Kenjaku, Uraume, and Yuki!! Also that Mei Mei scene which I am absolutely dreading.

Also the next ep preview with Kenjaku was fun

[theonethatyaks93]

Animaniacs Season 3 Episodes 3-10 Opinions

Spoiler Warning: This review will give major spoilers for certain episodes of this show. Proceed at your own risk.

Hi guys. Listen, I think Season 3 was pretty strong and it improved after the first two episodes. However, the ending made me very pissed and I am kind of having an emotional moment right now. I just can’t believe that it’s over. And I can’t believe that it ended so poorly. I don’t think I’ll ever watch that last episode again, except for the cold opening. I just feel like the ending kind of lied to us. We got a Pinky and The Brain cold opening, not a full segment, and while it was good, for this to be the last appearance of the mice just makes me sad. The final segment also dragged on way too long and it just abruptly ended in a not funny way. This review will mainly focus on Pinky and The Brain, but I loved a few Warners segments such as “Warner Games”, “Santamaniacs”, “Island of Dr. Warneau”, and “Über Nachtmare”. Anyways, lets get on with the reviews.

“Talladega Mice” was one of the most surprisingly amazing segments of the entire reboot. I loved how it contained some references to older episodes and it was full of charming moments. I also loved how it focued on Pinky and his minor anxiety problems, with Brain having to calm him down to survive. This episode had the funniest moments in the entire third season, with me laughing for a solid 2+ minutes after watching this. I loved how it shows a softer side of Brain, with him using impressions to calm Pinky down. He also engages in an adorable tickle fight (Brain’s ticklish you guys!) and even allows Pinky to suck on his finger when he gets too stressed out. I feel really comfortable in saying that this segment felt very realistic in its portrayal of anxiety, stress, and the ways to cope with it. I relate to Pinky immensely here since I also have stress problems and need things to distract myself from them. I can safely say that this is a must-watch with hilarious moments, and some underlying messages.

“Mad Mouse: Furry Road” was a great, but not amazing segment. I was let down a bit, but I still found this fun and engaging. I loved Pinky’s sense of humor and Brain was also enjoyable. I think the animation was impressive and some of the moments between the mice were cute. While I think that it suffered from slow pacing at moments and not every joke was a slam dunk, (Also, that gross-out joke was not necessary, but shockingly, I’ve seen worse!) I still think that this is a decent watch.

“Groundmouse Day” was very funny and cute! I loved Brain and how he grew more and more insane after the day kept repeating. I loved Egwind and his cameo and Pinky was as adorable as he was funny. That moment when Pinky kissed Brain goodnight was one of the most pure and wholesome moments in the reboot (also Pinky is gay and so is Brain!). I loved the ending twist and I really felt every emotion seep from the screen. The expressions were wonderful and I loved all the Groundhog Day references. I felt really happy after watching this and I just feel like things were handled very well. Overall, I recommend this segment!

“All’s Fair in Love and Door” was hands-down the best episode from season 3. The drama, the comedy, the high-stakes, it was all amazing. Julia was as insane and hilarious as ever and Pinky deserves all the happiness. Also, Pinky and Brain love each other!!! The end blew my mind and I was very satisfied. I loved all the emotions and how realistic they all felt. I was surprised by a few things in this segment such as Brain covering Pinky to protect him from Julia (that jump was hilarious tho) and the real Julia showing up at the end! Please make a movie with Julia in it!!! The premise of this episode was extremely well-planned and all the VA’s did fantastic jobs with everything. This was the most surprising episode of the show in terms of twists and turns. Go watch this right now!!! I think this episode is worth your time!!

“How The Brain Thieved Christmas” was the episode that got me to cry. Yeah I know it’s cliche for me to like the Christmas episode but I did. The episode balanced perfect comedy, references, and genuine heart into one package. The first part was funny and engaging. The second part was tense and heartwarming. And when Pinky told Brain that he loved him, I screamed! I loved the Pinky dolls (especially the muscular one) and the moment when Pinky posed seductively was hilarious. The moment that got me was when Brain received the thing he needed to tack over the world from Pinky and he starts crying a little. The moment when all the characters sang “Silent Night” made me start getting a little steamy eyed. Pinky has the voice of an angel. I laughed when Brain finished the song at the end and I felt so warm and fuzzy after this episode; it was so good! Pinky and Brain truly care and love each other and I personally think that Brinky is canon now. This wasn’t as good as “A Pinky and The Brain Christmas” but I still felt emotions while watching this. I was also not happy that the show was ending, and I did a little ugly cry after watching, but still. A great Christmas episode with a fantastic ending, I couldn’t recommend this more.

“International Mouse of Mystery” was a huge letdown! I thought this was a full segment, but it was only a cold-opening?!! We were ripped off! Still it was a good opening with a pretty good song. Pinky is truly the second best singer on the show, without a doubt! I loved the animation and I think that this further hints at Brinky. Also, Pinky looks fabulous!! It’s a great idea, but it was just too short. If this is the last thing we see from the mice duo, I’ll be disappointed. Overall, not bad but just a huge disappointment and we were robbed of a proper conclusion.

All in all, I think this season was pretty solid. The ending was un-satisfying and there were a few moments of season 1’s weaker segments, but I still think this was better than the first season. Season 2 still is the best overall, but there were some great moments here. Just don’t watch the last episode except for the cold-opening if you want to keep you sanity and emotions in-check. I’ll still be talking about Pinky and The Brain constantly and I truly don’t think that this is the end of the franchise. Also, Brinky is canon!!!! Thank you guys so much for reading this!! I hope you enjoyed season 3!

[kmila444]

MANIFESTATION & LAW OF (ley de) ATTRACTION.

Starting to focus (enfocarme) on myself and accompanying it with manifesting is going to take (va a tomar) time and dedication, or at least (o al menos) that is how I am implementing it in my day to day life, with commitment (con compromiso) and discipline.

IT ALL STARTS (todo empieza) WITH TAKING CARE (cuidando) OF YOUR ENERGY.

When you start taking care of your energy, you start attracting better things (mejores cosas), better people, better moments, and feeling better. It all starts within you (todo comienza dentro de ti). When you start taking care of your energy, it doesn't (no importa) matter what environment you're in (en que ambiente te encuentres), the light is within (dentro) you and nothing (nada) affects you.

MANIFESTATION AND DAILY INTENTION

Gratitude positively affects the vibrational frequency within ourselves (nosotros mismos). Every day after waking up, take time to practice gratitude and my daily manifestation ritual.

1. PRAYERS (oraciones) AND GRATITUDE + at the end (al final) DRINK A GLASS OF WATER TO ACTIVATE BODY AND MIND.

2. MANIFESTING WITH MEDITATION AND INTENTION.

In a meditation position, place your (coloca tu) glass of water to set your intention (para fijar tu intención), meditating and focusing your energy for about 5 minutes.

After this, still with (todavía con) the glass of water, say the decree or affirmations, take the necessary time. And then drink the glass of water with the best intentions.

Constant repetition helps these words become imprinted (quedar impreso) in the subconscious mind, shaping beliefs (moldeando creencias) and reality.

My Daily Decree:

I have the power to create my reality and activate my beauty, magnetism, my sexuality, sensuality, my beauty and femininity so that every living being that looks at me is enchanted, in love and bewitched by me, no one and nothing will be able to miss my exuberant beauty, I am naturally fascinating, with my magnetic personality I get love and attention more than I already deserve, the universe loves me and always works in my favor forever and ever with the power of beauty, love and my energy.

May light and darkness give me security, may my being reflect in harmony the beauty and grace that inhabits it, allowing me to amaze everyone who sees me. May my heart be filled with love, beauty and balance, I am completely sure of my unique and magnetic radiant essence. I am radiant, I inspire love and admiration in others, I feel confidence and beauty in all its senses.

The infinite strength of the earth is in my hands and the authority of the heavens is in my heart; all that I decree manifests with speed and precision. Moonlight, starlight, let the wind carry your light, let your brightness cover my body and let your brightness cover each eye. Moonlight, starlight shape and mold my body, as a rose is granted beauty, let me bloom in your light, the light that brings me beauty, and grant me beauty three times three. So be it, so be it, so be it. From today on I will be like fresh roses, beautiful, magnetic, attractive, captivating, hypnotizing with my energy and feminine beauty. With thorns that protect me and make anyone who tries to harm me bleed.

Thank you universe for the energy delivered and for the good that is yet to come into my life. This is my reality, thank you. This is done.

MANIFESTATION LETTER (carta de manifestación)

One day a week, I write the life of my dreams in letter format (escribo en formato carta la vida de mis sueños) as if (como si) I were already living it (ya la estuviera viviendo), thanking the universe and myself for what I want but (por lo que quiero pero) always in the present, in the now (basically affirming). I take more time to do this, I listen to the music that I like, that inspires me and I focus my energy on the letter, that is, I dedicate myself to putting the best intention (me dedico a poner la mejor intención). I try (intento) to make it something pretty, I decorate the letter the way I like the most, when I finish it, something (algo) I like to do is read it calmly or out loud (o en voz alta), visualizing it, believing it (creyendolo), assuming it and then I make a nice envelope to keep it (hago un lindo sobre para guardarlo). Another thing that I feel puts (poner) more of my essence in my letter is to spray my perfume on it, then seal (luego sellarla) it with a kiss by painting myself with red lipstick, and I keep (guardarla) it in a pretty little box especially for my letters.

MY LEVELS IN RELATION TO THE LAW OF ATTRACTION.

Level 1: THOUGHT (pensamiento) “What you think, you attract” (lo que piensas, atraes)

Level 2: DECREE “What you say, you attract” (lo que dices, atraes)

Level 3: EMOTION “What you feel, you attract” (lo que sientes, atraes)

Level 4: VIBRATION “What you vibrate, you attract” (lo que vibras, atraes)

I saw this last one on (este último lo vi en) Pinterest, I loved it and I'm applying it (lo estoy aplicando)

[gruundle]

UPDATE 4/29/23: We are a little under halfway to goal! Rosie’s surgery is scheduled for Monday, and we could really use a little extra push. We found a lump on her belly this morning and are fearing the worst. We are going to try and get this new lump a biopsy but it’s absolutely money we don’t have after scraping by for just this procedure. Please share if you can 💕

Hello all! My name is Greer, I’m a queer indie artist living in VA with my partner and our three beautiful animals.

Our youngest, Rosie, a freshly two year old chihuahua mix, has recently very suddenly developed issues with her anal glands. In four weeks after no issues for her whole life, they’ve gotten impacted and infected twice, and this week they finally ruptured.

After this last visit, where they could no longer drain anything despite her glands being full and extremely swollen, her vet has recommended that we pursue surgery to have her anal glands completely removed to protect her from discomfort and any further issues/risk of infection. It’s expensive, but less so than taking her in every month for drainage and antibiotics, as well as less distressing for her and us.

Her surgery is currently scheduled for the 2nd of May. We’re able to cover the $200 deposit and we’ve been approved for care credit to cover most of the cost of the surgery (the estimate is roughly $1600-$2600), but we were completely unprepared for something of this magnitude. We’re seeking help with covering the remainder, a (hopefully) final emergency visit to clean and tend to her rupture, her pre-op blood work, and time taken off work to care for her during recovery.

This has been a scary and stressful time but I am endlessly inspired by Rosie’s ability to get up after having her glands burst and bleed and still beg for food, because it’s what makes her happy, or lick our tears away because she’s more concerned about us. She’s an incredible wonderful beautiful girl and she deserves the world.

Thank you for even taking the time to read this far! Please do not feel obligated to donate; a share or a kind word is also extremely appreciated!

For anyone that does donate, please contact me for a drawing and a hand written thank you card. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!