#(feels like this anon is doing something similar)

[bunnis-monsters]

Didn’t know monster fucker smut was that serious, damn. Couldn’t you have blocked and moved on before this? Why do you feel the need to put others down because you personally dislike their writing style?

Also I’m not listening to the opinion of someone that one, couldn’t say this without being anonymous and two, couldn’t use the correct “you’re”.

I’m taking away anon privileges for a bit. I hate when people say things like this behind anon.

You’re allowed to send me an ask saying, “could you use more adjectives?”. I’d respond, “of course!”. You’re even allowed to hate my writing, block me, and gossip to all of your friends and family about how I’m the worst writer ever. I won’t see or hear that.

This isn’t appropriate though. Obviously, most adults know that sending hate anonymously isn’t very mature. I don’t want to talk down to you, truly, but haven’t we been taught since kindergarten that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all? Do I have to hold your hand and guide you towards the kinder option of simply blocking me?

This just makes me want to continue using the same things. I’m autistic after all, and enjoy writing similar subjects. It makes ME happy.

If you want a different take on something, commission me. Otherwise, be quiet or wait for requests to return.

(I blocked this anon, took a screenshot of the ask first tho!)

[tyrianludaship]

im sorry but tagging the 9/11 joke as 'darkship' is straight up hilarious

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Well if given how the anime will adapt the Manga, it makes me wonder about the savanaclaw adaptation given how many delays due to the artist's personal life that octavinelle Manga came around and is now have overblot Chapter before Savanaclaw does. I wonder if the author will have time to finish it and given how heartslabyul will release in October 2025, it might take awhile to animate savanaclaw.

[Referencing this news!]

Decided to put these together because the topics were similar enough and I have similar advice for both asks. To briefly clarify the second ask, I believe the Anon made a typo and meant to say "Yana Toboso was NOT involved in the anime's production". This is because Yana made a tweet recently stating that she and her team were surprised and honored that they were making an anime adaptation based on the manga.

Now, about the first ask: we are not aware of what the manga and anime creation process looks like for Twst. Yes, the Savanaclaw manga has had a number of delays, but we cannot be sure if this impacts the anime at all. For example, we don't know how much of the Episode of Savanaclaw anime is even done yet. We don't know if the anime team is going to be in talks with the mangaka to coordinate things. We don't know when the Episode of Savanaclaw will air (and for all we know, it could give the mangaka ample time to finish up). There are many things we do not know, so it would be VERY hasty to conclude anything now.

Regarding the second ask: Yes, it does seem like Yana had no involvement in the anime. This, however, should NOT be taken as an immediate sign that the anime will be poor quality or that the anime will deviate from the main story in large (and bad) ways. Nothing of the news we've heard so far would indicate any sweeping changes. This is equating a past occurrence with something that has yet to even happen without even knowing if the production circumstances are even the same between them. The only thing we know that is linking the animes of early Black Butler and Twst is Yana's lack of involvement. This doesn't account for ANY other factors in production, and it's also assuming that Yana's mere presence makes a product good--and, conversely, her absence automatically makes a product bad. I don't think this is the way to go, as it's jumping to conclusions based on minimal evidence and it's putting way too much weight on Yana's shoulders to carry the quality of the Twst anime.

And that brings me to the thread linking together not just these two asks, but a lot of the anime-related posts and asks that I've been seeing as of late: fearmongering and doomposting. Lots of it.

As I’ve said multiple times now, it's fine to be hesitant about the anime. I'm hesitant of it myself! However, let’s not draw preemptive conclusions or fret over what are ultimately hypotheticals. It’s so far off, and we have zero of the actual final product to look at and judge the quality of. I'm seeing so many people make mountains out of molehills, working themselves up over nothing, assuming the worst-case scenarios... 💦 and again, all of this based on little to no information. I can't help but that time and energy could be better spent on other fandom efforts or things we actively enjoy. It's valid to be anxious about the anime and how it presents something we care so much about, but putting those feelings in a public space paints the fandom in a bad light. It gives the impression that we'll jump the gun and claim something is bad before letting the product speak for itself. If you're a current Twst fan that is excited for the anime, it may not feel so good seeing others theorizing about how bad it will be. If you're a potential new Twst fan seeing this stuff, you'd feel very unwelcome or unwanted. I worry this will fester and create divides in the community... unintentionally creating an environment that isn't fun to be in, and that's the antithesis of what I think fandom should be. I guess I'll end on this note: There is a difference between being healthily skeptical and assuming the worst of a production. Please take a moment to reexamine your concerns about the anime and ask yourself "Is this a reasonable fear?", "What am I basing this off of?", and, "How, if at all, will this affect my own enjoyment of Twst?" If it gets to be too much for you, then please, please step away from social media (where a lot of these fears are being touted) and take a break. Do something you like, take a walk, whatever. I just beg of you, don't allow yourself to be consumed by feelings that will bleed the fun of fandom out of you 💦

[yallthemwitches]

“Can I… can I touch you?”

And maybe as a sequel to study session?

Hello Anon! Yes! I'm glad you asked for a sequel for this one because that was one of my favorite kinktobers to write! Perhaps that's why I (once again) went in expecting a micro fic but ended with 3k words...

I feel like I write too much crazy, frantic jily so it was nice to have a sweet but sexy moment. (it's still smut after all)

Here's the link to Study Session, though you don't need to read it before this one!

Read under the cut or AO3 here!

“Do you have anything between third and fourth period?”

She had said it as a joke—-well, sort of, but either way she had underestimated the hope a teenage boy could gather from such an offer.

When she enters the common room he is facing the door, wringing his hands nervously. His hair is still wild from their stint in the library, and she tries not to note that his tie has also remained in a similar state of dishevelment, clearly having been tugged in a manner that school regulations don’t allow. 

“Er, hi.”

He jumps out of his seat and walks towards her, almost sheepish in his movements. His eyes are unable to stop flickering to her lips then downwards, evident that their earlier moment together is still fresh in his mind. 

“You said something about meeting again…after third.” 

The sheepish tone of his voice creates a stir in her chest accompanied by a burning heat traveling downwards. James Potter, quidditch hero, most popular boy in school, did not only want her but was absolutely powerless because of it. 

“If—if you were just having a laugh about that then I’ll just..”

“No, I wasn’t.” She stutters, “...I wasn’t having a laugh—I mean.” It bubbles out and her face flushes red. So much for keeping an upperhand.

 James’ eyes grow wide and bright, his typical crooked smile starting to tug at his lips. 

“Yeah?” 

She could practically hear his confidence growing, his ego reentering his body.

 “Well, all the lads will be out for the next two hours besides Peter, but I —“

“--You told him to shove off,” she finishes for him, the heat from earlier that day now back and pooling heavy between her legs. He doesn’t need to elaborate on where he was referring to, the stairs to the boys dorm practically pulsing from the corner of her eye. 

If she hadn’t intended to sit on his lap back in the library, there is no mistake of intention now. James nods, rare blotches of red appearing under his rims and Lily has to work hard to not think about how the last time she saw his cheeks in such a way, he was grinding an orgasm out of her with just his leg. 

“So— should we...” His eyes flicker to the stairs, an air of excitement and impatience setting in on his features. “I mean, again– if you want to.”

She takes a step closer, arms aching from staying next to her sides and not sliding back in their now familiar spot around his neck.

“Lead the way.”

~ ~ ~

The boys’ dorm is just about how she imagined it, a clutter of books, quidditch supplies and various contraband. Any other time she might have tried to take a closer look, but she doesn’t get far enough in the door before James rounds on her with newfound confidence. Suddenly, something warm and heavy wraps around her waist, pulling her flush against him. 

“You are just lovely.” He cups her face, stepping close enough so her legs part to make way for him to slot himself against her. 

“I can’t stop thinking about earlier—how you smell, how soft your lips are, the feel of you against me…” 

He sidles them over so her back touches the door and his hand juts out until she hears the click of the lock sliding into place. 

“I still feel like I’m dreaming— like this can’t be real. I must be suffering from potion fumes….laying in the hospital wing, hallucinating—-“

She pulls up, slanting their lips together. He sighs an oh into her mouth, his breath hot and sweet. They are sweet probing kisses, not like the ones in the library where the urgency to simply be together was unbearable.

“Stop talking Potter.” 

He laughs, mouth recapturing hers, drawing her even closer. With privacy the gift of time is palpable, allowing them to move out of the realm of fever dreams and into reality.  She feels his hands wrap tighter around her, finding her arse and giving a small squeeze, pushing a smile into her lips. 

Hands find nests in each other's hair. Tongues move like silk contrasting with the hard, playful nips they exchange to lower lips. She savors each small sound he makes into her, all a perfect bundle of adoring and awe.

Unsurprising, he can’t stay quiet for long. “Lily—I’m so…” but the words get stuck in his throat, her attention going towards something hard beginning to press into her thigh. Experimentally, she shifts against it and he makes a low humming sound, the hand resting on her arse tensing up and waving her forward to repeat the motion. Another hand curls around and dances along the hemline of her shirt, tickling the spot of midriff starting to show. 

“James–” she breathes out, holding onto him for support as he kisses his way to the sensitive place behind her ear. “I want you–.” 

At the confession his hands contract and his lips become more frantic, trading light butterfly kisses for open mouthed ministrations. It makes finishing her thought almost not worth it. 

“--I want you, but I’d also like to enter the room first..” He pulls back and gives another genuine laugh, one that makes her burst with pride. Reaching up on her toes, she can’t help but place a kiss where his neck is exposed from his outburst and the feel of her lips snaps him back into gear, turning her in his arms and waddling them forward towards the bed across the room. His erection strains against her arse as they move, each step a little zing of pleasure. 

“How rude of me,” he whispers against her ear. They stop in front of the bed and he turns her back to face him, eyes clouded as though sleepwalking. “Welcome to my bed.”

His Bed. It’s almost humorous how one single noun is capable of making her heart beat out of her rib cage. How many times has she imagined what he does in this bed? How many times has he thought of her?

He sits on the edge and pulls her down onto his lap. It’s all too similar from that morning—the way her hands circle his neck, how her body positions in a way that even the slightest movement creates friction between her center and his ever present erection. Settling in, they both let out a moan of relief, both evidently yearning for the same thing since the last couple of hours. 

“I’m absolutely mad for you Evans,” he murmurs and she wastes no time pushing their mouths together again, a sailing feeling in her chest taking over. She puts a hand to the front of his shirt, edging it under to find the hot skin of his abdomen and he sighs a soft gentle sound that she immediately wants to hear again. 

“That’s funny because I’m absolutely mad for you too.”

The look in his eye changes from hazy to dark to purely euphoric, responding with a deep kiss. She shifts over him until she is back straddling his waist, legs curling around his waist until she can feel the familiar brush of him against the spot she yearns to be touched most. 

“Can I take this off?” A hand stalls at a button of his shirt while the other has already begun wandering the length of his chest underneath, hungry to feel what she already knew about his stature. In response, he unlatches his hands from around her to unbutton it, shucking it off with his tie in one movement. 

Christ.

She pulls back to get a better look at him, unabashedly darting her gaze from his abs to his toned shoulders.  She had seen him shirtless before during quidditch, the vision of him pumping his fist in the air in victory after a match easily being a replaying image in her mind, but never this close, never touchable.

“You’re fit–” she murmurs, catching the burning look of a stroked ego in his eyes. She doesn’t let herself think about her next move, moving her hands to her own blouse and unbuttoning down the front. A quiet fuck escapes his lips when her shirt finally flaps open, exposing her bare breasts to him and the cold dormroom air. His eyes roam her chest, a haggard breath coming from his open mouth.

“Merlin…”

She has the immediate desire to cover up, feeling the weight of his gaze on her. His hand remains modest on her waist, clearly frozen from shock. 

“I—I don’t wear a bra,” she says deadpan, wanting to fill the silence. A grin breaks out on his face, eyes sparkling. 

“And I thank Merlin for it everyday.”

Her cheeks blaze and now she does cover up, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“What do you mean?”

James cocks his head, a glint of mischief in his eye. “Evans, I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think there’s a bloke in this castle over the third year that hasn’t noticed.”

She turns her head, trying to mask obvious embarrassment. It isn’t like she's not aware either, but to hear it from him, make it too unbearable to think about. Sensing her shift in mood, he cups her chin and pulls her head back to look at him, eyes now soft. 

“No, don’t hide yourself. You have no idea—no idea how much I’ve even tried to imagine you like this.”

He places a hand on one of her crossed arms and she slowly lowers them. She watches as he licks his lips, eyes growing wild again at the sight of her. 

“--And apparently my imagination is rubbish because—because, I mean fuck.”

He inches a hand up from her stomach towards one of her breasts, eyes flickering between watching her expression and the path to the newly exposed skin. Stopping just underneath, he leans in and gives her a soft kiss, begging for permission.

Taking his hand, she finishes his path for him, her hard tit pressing into his warm, enveloping palm. He sucks in a breath, eyes becoming heavy lidded as his fingers curl around her soft skin. 

“Just unbelievable…”

She grins, tugging lightly at the strands of hair at the back of his head.

“What?”

“How absolutely perfect you are.”

Her body surges with pure adoration. She hinges forward, pressing the bare skin of their chests together until he is falling back onto the bed, taking her down with him. They scramble with laughter for a moment, situating themselves properly so she hovers over his laying form. A hand traces the muscles of his abdomen down to his waistband, fingering at the fabric before continuing downwards to the tent of his pants. Lifting her hips up, she presses a hand against his erection, smoothing her thumb around the outline of him beneath the fabric. 

“Is this alright?” She asks, knowing the answer just by the look on his face. She makes another hesitant pass with her thumb and a shallow moan escapes his lips, head starting to fall back. 

“It’s incredible. Please, don’t stop.”

She doesn’t. Leaning forward to kiss her way back up to him, he shuffles himself lower so he can take one of her tits into his mouth, his tongue swirling hot circles around the hardened peak. The sensation makes her hips rut automatically, pressing downwards into where her hand continues to touch him through his pants. 

An arm wraps around her and before she can dissent, he flips them. Her skirt has already bunched up to her waist, exposing a pair of plain black knickers that catch his attention immediately. Eyes roaming around the bottom half of her body. 

“Lily—can I touch you?” He asks softly. 

“You’re already touching me.” She responds, teasing, but he is too far gone for games, eyes dark and glassy with pure want. 

“No–I mean, here.”

His hand moves to rest just above her pubic bone, fingers angling down towards her center. All amusement falls from her, replaced with a thrashing need to feel him touch just inches lower from where they lay. 

Breath catches in her chest. Suddenly it feels like they are moving in water, slow and steady against each other. She takes his hand and wills it downwards, his fingertips skirting over the fabric of her knickers as they round down in between her thighs. He takes a sharp inhale when he reaches what she already knows: her knickers are completely soaked through. 

“Godric help me.”

He moves to press harder into the fabric, but she holds his hand hovering, just barely away from her center. She reaches between them with her other hand, finding his waistband and tugging. 

“Take these off.”

His eyes grow impossibly wider, tearing his gaze between where his hand is being held and to her face. 

“ I will…in a moment, first I want to–” 

Her grip on his hand tightens and her cheeks blaze. 

“No. I want to touch you too.”

He needs no more convincing. He undoes his pants and she pulls at his waistband, deliberately taking his underpants with them. Upon seeing him fully nude, her jaw slackens. She had seen men naked before, been touched and pleasured to various degrees in the past couple of years, but nothing prepared her for him. Months of sneaking glances, watching how lithe his body moved during quidditch, dreaming about how his body could possibly feel moving inside hers did not even get close to the way he looked now. 

“Lily–if you don’t want to keep going…” He stutters out. Coming out of her trance, she realizes that she had been staring for too long, swept away by the sheer reality of him. 

“C’mere, please.”

He shifts back over her and the feel of his tip slightly wet against her hip makes her surge with giddiness. His hand goes back between her legs, a finger experimenting with pressing down and drawing small circles into the damp area. In turn, she reaches down and takes him with a loose fist, palm sliding easily up and down soft flesh. 

They exchange soft, whimpering sounds, hips pushing to meet hands, open mouths molding together to catch each other’s moans. 

“James–” She lifts her hips and tugs down at her knickers, letting them slip down and off her legs. 

“Absolutely beautiful–” he gasps, watching his finger sink into her. Her body squeezes around him, zapping her with pleasure with every twist and flex of his fingers. The pumping of her hand speeds up, giving more attention to smear some of his precome around his crown. His head collapses down, forehead pressed against hers, moaning deeper with every turn of a hand. 

“I want you inside me,” she whispers, then repeats again. His hand stills, eyes pulling up to look at her with a delirious wonder. 

“Lily—”

“Please, I need you. Unless…unless you don’t…” 

A chaotic laugh explodes from his mouth, doubling him over. He kisses her, his tongue pressing her mouth open so he can speak directly into her. 

“I have never wanted anything more in my entire life.”

Her heart swells. She hitches a leg up, opening herself up wider for him to sidle down against her. He takes hold of his cock, smearing his tip into her folds before finding her entrance and pressing lightly so just the smallest bit of his crown stretches into her. 

“Holy fucking merlin–,” he groans, watching his cock sink further into her, “you feel so good, so tight.”

The way he feels inside of her is unparalleled. His movements are slow and gentle, adorations pouring out of his mouth against her neck, her chest, her cheeks—anywhere he can press kisses while he dips in and out of her, filling her up. 

The heat in her stomach mounts, pooling with adoration and pleasure and something that frighteningly feels already, impossibly, like love. He checks in on her, taking her face with his hand and looking into her eyes, searching and finding just as much happiness and desire as she sees staring back.

“Just like that, love—” he urges her on, helping her hips grind up against him while his thumb teases her clit with tiny circles. 

It feels like she is mounting a steep mountain, almost to the peak where her pleasure surges in a great big orb. He must feel it too because his adorations turn into coaxes, pressing her towards release. 

“That’s it–Oh, Lily I can feel it. I can feel you’re close. Fuck—come for me. Let me feel you come—”

Something inside her snaps and everything disappears besides the soft kisses James presses into her skin and the feel of him still moving inside her. Her whole body clenches and relaxes, an ecstatic pleasure flooding all the way to her toes. His voice breaks through the haze, thin and straining.

“Baby, you feel so good, so impossibly wet—can I—”

She grabs into his hair, pulling him down for a searing kiss. 

“Come inside me, it’s ok. I want to feel you too.” 

He gasps, letting go. A warm sensation fills her and trickles down her thighs, him making his final few thrusts before slowing to a halt and drooping over her. He remains inside of her while their heartbeats slow in tandem, his slowing breath tickling the side of her neck.

“What are you thinking about?” He whispers after a few moments pass. A thumb passes over her cheek to move a stray piece of hair. 

She hesitates, before answering. “I’m thinking about how I don’t want this to end.”

He presses a kiss into her neck and she wraps her arms around him, holding them together as though the moment he gets up they will be back to being just “Potter and Evans:” two friends who laugh and talk but nothing more. 

“Then we won’t let it end,” he murmurs. She opens her eyes to find his staring back, something shining behind the irises. 

It’s consuming—the sensation he creates within her. Even as just mates and study partners she feels it: the desire to take him within herself and keep him there forever. To experience every single thing with him,good or bad, because anything with him by her side seems bearable and worth it. 

“Go out with me.”

He chuckles, hearing the words he has thrown at her for years being finally sent back like karma. His face bursts with pure unfiltered joy and he swoops down to press his lips to hers, his happiness contagious. 

“Gladly—anything you want, Evans.” He says between kisses. Still inside her, she can feel him start to harden again, impossibly rebounding by the force of sheer elation alone. 

“Ah��James.”

He kisses his way down to her chest, a smile still caked onto his face as she squirms under him, the slick feel of him moving again inside her gaining momentum. It’s impossible for her not to smile too and the feeling from before reappears: not just pleasure, but perhaps already love. It explodes from her and she giggles, just as ready as he is to tangle together again. 

“But I have to warn you,” he says, eyes glinting as he presses their foreheads back together, “I don’t think I’m ever going to want us to leave this bed. Not for Hogsmeade, not for the world.”

[parachutingkitten]

Just so everyone is aware, ayathefly, the account who claims to be a temp voice actress for Dragons Rising, is almost certainly my cyber stalker from last month.

She has almost the exact same story as one of the stalker accounts used to try and befriend me. Back then she was a 23yo temp voice actress named Maya who had a comedically whimsical story about her not knowing information about the ducktales reboot she was hired for. This time she's a 23yo temp voice actress named Aya who has a comedically whimsical story about not knowing information about the Ninjago reboot she was hired for. Both the accounts used generic profile pics from classic cartoons, reblogged posts of mine shortly after creating their account, and had this manner of speaking in their posts which immediately set off alarm bells in my head.

In case you are not privy to the saga, this person made a bunch of false accusations about me on one account while defending me on another in order to, I guess, try and win my favor. This after harassing, threatening, and otherwise pestering me on a number of spam accounts. This includes the full range of pretending to be a fan with a tragic story about a dead brother, to weird sex foot fetish fantasies. Since then I have received emails claiming to be showrunners interested in my feedback which I'm also certain are her.

I have also linked them back to the zanenindroid account, and the parachutingkitfanpage, both abandoned at this point, presumably because they didn't get traction.

I need you to understand I was on the fence about sharing this information. Even if they're making my life annoying, this person has at times claimed to be 16 in messages to me in the past (I figure it's possible that the 23yo thing might just be her pretending to be my same age) and I don't want to be the guy who calls out a kid who lied on the internet to try and get friends- even if what they're doing is ABSOLUTELY inexcusable, it's only really affecting me. I know how to use the block button. Turning off non-follow messaging and anon asks is annoying, but not that huge a deal if it means cutting off avenues for them to contact me.

But recently my MOTHER informed me that she got some strange messages from someone claiming to be a 23yo voice actress, and tried gaslighting her into believing she knew her mom from a writing group like 10 years ago (which is not possible btw), and should TOTALY introduce her to me, because we're the same age, and both interested in animation.

I can't not talk about this anymore. When you bring my family into this, you lose any attempt at mercy from me.

Especially given we have quite a few minors in the fandom, I feel obligated to say something. I would not feel comfortable with anyone I know or care about interacting with this person, regardless of how harmless this person thinks their intentions are. They have proved themselves to be a manipulative, lying, unhinged, and obsessive personality willing to put someone they presumably like through some of the scariest scenarios you can find yourself in on the internet- and then drag your family into it. I would ask that you do not interact, do not give them the time of day, do not try to reason with them, and try your best not to be fooled by new accounts that pop up a week from now with suspiciously similar behavior, because I'm almost certain that will happen if Aya goes silent.

Maybe you think I'm paranoid, and over blowing things, and that's your call to make, but I would not be making this post if I did not feel strongly about this.

Even if somehow this is not the same person, and I am falsely linking these two nearly identical identities, at the very least Aya is not who she proports to be. She claims to have provided temp voices for season 3 just this month (temp voices being temporary voice work done before the actual actors are able to record their lines), but Devon Mack (voice actor for Arin) has confirmed that he was in the middle of recording the official dialogue for season 3 back in January of this year. The idea that the production team would only just now be recording TEMP dialogue for animation that's going to release in just a few months is an absolutely WILD claim. I can not convey to you what an insanely truncated timeline that would be. I don't even think that Dragons Rising is a the kind of show to use temp dialogue, none the less have the budget and time to hire out if they did need temp voices, rather than just using production members like most temp work.

Please, be careful out there everyone.

I'm praying I never have to address this again.

[lycandrophile]

hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs

i have one question for you: so fucking what?

i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”

i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.

what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.

if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.

like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.

and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.

this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.

who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?

[asexualconfessions]

I worry quite often that if I don't find someone else who's a romantic ace like I am...I'll be a disappointment to them and I'll fall out of favor with them-

Like I wanna date so badly but I think especially in HS nobody will ever want me

Idk sometimes I worry that maybe I'm not even good enough and I'm a waste of space like it's gotten to the point this summer where Im afraid of time passing and I've developed some suicidal ideations I wont lie-

(Dunno if this is too much for your confession box my apologies)

🟣

[burstingsunrise]

agreeing with prev anon. you're one of my favourite writers because of the way you portray luke.

thank u 🥲

i know it's all relative and different people have different...let's say interpretations. but it's kind of my way of pushing back sometimes when i feel like people aren't Getting Him. instead of engaging in discourse...open a doc. and so to have that appreciated is really validating and i think a nice reminder to all of us that there are other fans out there who respect and appreciate him in a similar way. <3

[shiraishi--kanade]

hi feel free not to answer this but you're one of the only chronically ill people i know and i probably need to get my blood drawn because i am having Many Issues but i am. super afraid of needles. so basically the question is are needles that draw blood like,, really big? do they hurt a lot? sorry this is probably a dumb question im just terrified auhfguhgahhf

No worries! And in my experience, no not really! My blood draws never really hurt; it's about the same feeling like if your leg falls asleep pins and needles sensations, but only for a split second when the needle comes in and out. If done correctly, you won't feel anything during the actual process, maybe just a bit dizzy & numb. It may sting for a while after the draw (mine still does) but it's really really minor, you probably won't even notice it much. It may also bruise; it's pretty normal too.

The size of the needle varies, though, so here's a word of advice: search out for a more modern, accomodating hospital/lab, and a nurse who works with pediatrics patients, if you can (regardless of your actual age, they are just chiller about anxious people in general imo). Fear of needles is super common and is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about (I actually do well with blood draws but I'm Not Good with IVs and injections, the latter ones moreso than the former), so there is a solid chance they can accommodate you by using a smaller needle or/and local anesthetic (thought I think the last one is... Rarer. My dentist did it, but that man is a force of his own. I don't know how many of his practises are like... Normal).

Getting a good nurse that puts you at ease is so, so important. I cannot overstate it. I don't mean to make this sound bad but I can't lie either, if they mess up, can't find your vein, or just generally suck & rush you & make you feel stupid for asking for accomodations, get up and Leave. Because messed up draws do hurt (not too much, though! I'd say it's comparable to like... Accidentally biting your tongue kinda hurt). I only had one bad experience and I never went to that nurse again.

In general though: the needle probably isn't as big as you think it'd be, it's smaller than the injection ones usually, and you can ask for a smaller one; it doesn't hurt! Actually when I first got my blood drawn from my vein at 10 or so, I was like, wait, that's it? Because of a stupid policy my hospital usually only took blood from the fingertips for kids (don't ask. I don't get it either), and oh god, that hurt Much More than the "adult" one. I was so relieved after being scared out of my mind three minutes earlier. You don't have as much sensation in that area as you for in your fingertips, so if you ever had a papercut and want to compare: papercut hurts more & for longer than the blood draw does.

Good luck to you!! I hope you figure whatever's going on haha. Remember to drink water before the draw to make everyone's lives easier if it comes down to it!

[ilovedthestars]

can i do an extremely personalized ask game? is that a thing people do?

my ao3 is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my murderbot fanfics. all of my murderbot fanfic is in one big scrivener project, which is, at this moment, a combined 205,811 words. (my ao3 posted works, in case you were wondering, add up to 32,327 words.) the individual fics are separated into folders, and there are 42 folders, a few of which are published fics but most of which are wips that have yet to see the light of day.

if you send me a number between 1 and 42 i will tell you a little bit about whichever fic that corresponds to, and maybe post a few lines! yes, this is a blatant excuse for me to get to ramble about my fics, but i'm hoping that might get me excited to finish some of them. or at the very least, tell you all about the cool ideas that i might never finish writing so that i still get to share them in some form.

i have no idea if anyone is interested in the words in my head but me, and I am debating whether this is a weird thing to do. but ask games are fun and i am going to indulge myself in hopes that other people will indulge me <3

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Hi! Could I get your thoughts? I am not Jewish but I really like what I see of Judaism. I love the idea of faith as a thing you do & especially the asking questions and that your actions, not your thoughts, demonstrate morality. I don't think I want to convert, at least not at this point in life, because that's a big commitment & I'm only small-but-persistently interested. I'm jealous of my Jewish friends who can have Judaism as just a small part of their lives. My mom's mom's mom was Jewish and I knooow that in itself doesn't make me Jewish but I feel like there is some connection. Like... my grandma was born in Germany, legally Jewish, and her family only survived and made it here because they got very lucky. I grew up with the cultural heritage of "third generation of immigrants from Germany" but it feels like it should be important that they left Germany because they were Jewish. & like.. my grandma is alive, she and I are close, and just last weekend she was telling me a story abt her self identity which related to growing up Jewish. I don't know whether I would still be interested in Judaism like this if I didn't have a family connection-- I think I would still be interested but it would be less messy in some ways. I noticed you answering other people's asks about being interested in Judaism as a gentile, and I thought that since you're a Jewish convert in progress you'd understand my feelings, & I wanted to tell someone. Thank you for accepting my ask ^^ -🐏

I'm really glad you decided to open up. This can be so personal, and I get where you're coming from. It can be messy, and I definitely don't want to tell you what to do, I think that's something only you can decide, ultimately. Regardless, though, you can always take Judaism 101 classes, you can always borrow or buy books, and you have family that are or were close to Jewish family members - I think it's completely understandable and respectable that you want to learn more about your heritage. I think that's a completely normal reaction, and I hope that you can learn as much as possible from your family.

It's amazing to see your family is doing alright. That's a blessing, and I'm glad to see it. Regardless of what you ultimately decide to do, just know that you can learn more if you'd like. It might be messy, complicated, a whole number of things, but I do hope that whatever you decide is something that you want. I'm glad to see you here

[chryblossomjjk]

I seek academic validation so the idea of not getting straight A's makes my skin crawl. When I learned that at my university a 92.9% equals to 3.67 instead of your typical 4.0 I panicked. I went to a community college in the past and did not realize how different the grading system could be. I am going fulltime next year in a health related program for two years and I am nervous about it since it is in the same university.

Those professors should not exist, like would 0.9 or 0.4 kill them??!! I know I am going to encounter this and I wish us the best of luck 💜. As a reminder to the both us, we tried and did what we could!

Of course the practice couple sits next to each other, they are in luv and who wouldn't be with JK next to them.

Sorry for the ramble!

oh healthcare is difficult but if you push through, you'll have such a bright future with a fulfilling and lucrative career! wishing you all the best sweetheart, you deserve it! <3

something that helped me was doing like half in person and half online courses! unfortunately, my current college will not allow financial aid if u do that lol, but if you're able to and worried about time management, i would definitely suggest it! you got this friend!

[inkykeiji]

i was just completely blown away by your post about agnes and what you said, it really really really resonated with me. i relate to everything you said and i remember reading in a post a while back that he was in the hospital and you felt conflicted about seeing him. i understand that. i also have a complicated relationship with my dad and i just love him so much but i could also be so upset with him because of the things he's done to me and my sister and my mom. oo i can't type too much!! -🧁

oh wow cupcake, thank you so much for this!!! i really appreciate hearing your thoughts, and it’s once again super comforting to hear that there’s someone else who can relate to it as well <33

tw: mentions of drugs + abuse

family in and of itself as a concept can be and often is so incredibly complex, especially when there’s something like drugs and/or abuse thrown into the mix. a lot of people (esp people online, i find) like to act as if these relationships are black and white, as if these feelings and these experiences can be easily and neatly sorted into defined categories when the fact of the matter is, they aren’t, and they can’t. obviously, abuse is bad—this is an objective fact we can all agree on. but when that abuse comes from a family member, a parent, someone who was supposed to be there for you and raise you and love you, it really muddies things.

i love my father, but i do not like him. i am hoping i can find it in me to forgive him for what he’s done to us before he dies, but i’m not sure it’ll happen. i still hold so much anger and bitterness and just generally negative feelings towards him, and in my twenty-something years on this earth i have only JUST begun to work through this shit. and he doesn’t have much time left.

[m1d-45]

hello, I'm sorry I haven't been sending as much asks. I too feel like I fried my brain a little on sunday and if I don't have like new things to comment/write ask about then I don't rlly ask?

idk I want to bring new things into the table so if I don't have any I tend to stay quiet.

midas my love/p your most recent post? chefs kiss. I'm in love by how well you portray each character, especially wanderer since he's one of my favs (lvl 90 and widthsith r5/hes my baby)(xiao and kazuha too, anemo men my beloved)

I'm interested in this Diluc fic you have upcoming, I might wait a bit when it's published until I feel like I can handle the angst. my school has been kicking my ass

teddy darling/p I would love cheesecake, I haven't rlly tried it before but I'm sure yours will be great. also how do you not get scared by analog horror I'm in shock, I have to agree that what midas wrote on alternate! Xiao and zhongli made my palms sweaty and heart race, you both truly have a way with words

I am going to continue studying for precalc rn, but I have some ideas for little writings/art that I might send in later. I'm considering making a blog but idk if I'm comfortable with it.

- 🍄 (why does this feel like I'm in another land sending a letter to my spouses, I hope you have a great day teddy and midas)

[gazing wistfully out the window] when will mushroom return from the war…

off the bat don’t feel obligated to send asks, we’re just guys being pals and it’s ok if you’re silent for a while

second thank you, from one wanderer enjoyer to another (mines at 80/80 bc i need anemo rocks :( ) i’m glad you found his voicelines enjoyable. he speaks very particularly so i was worried i’d get it wrong-

(can’t believe i forgot but anemo men my beloved as well, i’ve been meaning to do lines for xiao)

good luck with your precal, i’ve never done it but shit looks hard. hope you make it out alive /hj

[sintreaties]

Lol u are kirari stan, don't ya? I thought u were ririka Stan, Ur replied worshipping kirari, duh...

……… what about the ask in which I said I’d make Nero Fate and Florence Nightingale Fate into christian saints

[theshadowrealmitself]

Hello! I just wanted to tell you that your posts about aliens always make my day when I read them and I wanted to thank you for that :>

-🐰💖

Thank you, this really means a lot to me!!!