#(fearful)

[divorcedwife]

it's happening.... idk if i'll post much about this game but if i do i'll tag my posts with "datv spoilers" if you wanna block that

[avoidant-attachment-culture]

Fearful vs Dismissive: Inner experience

Something I'd like to discuss surrounding being avoidant is the inner motivations, thoughts and feelings and how they're easily misinterpreted by others, because on the outside they look the same.

I see a lot of posts saying that avoidants do want love but are panicked by it. And whilst this is true for fearful avoidants, it isn't usually for dismissives.

Fearful avoidants generally do, on a level usually known to themselves, seek out comfort, love and vulnerability. They want to be seen and cared for, but they're avoidant because when they do recieve these things, they either become very panicked or are disgusted by it (which is a demonstration of a spectrum, a fearful avoidant who is disgusted may have dismissive traits), so they aren't comfortable in either variable; being alone or in being seen. Both are unpleasant.

Dismissives tend to have it easier emotionally. They very very rarely want vulnerability and care to be exercised, and when they do it's often a subconscious human need, not one they will be aware of; suppressed. When dismissive avoidants are put in situations that they percieve as emotionally vulnerable, they will usually shut down and become numb, angry or, well, dismissive. Including towards other people's vulnerability and struggles, as they often process it as manipulative or too dependent. Dismissives, unlike fearfuls, will barely ever seek out vulnerability except on a surface level, which is why they often end up in situationships and love bombing cycles (both as the perpetrator and the victim). They are very comfortable in being alone and whilst they may occassionally think "having x would be nice", it's never preferable or equal to the safety of isolation and emotional distance.

Having an avoidant attachment style is a spectrum. You won't always fit clearly into dismissive or fearful, you may be mostly dismissive but have moments of fearful and so on, but patterns and distinctions do emerge.

Most dismissive avoidants would hate to be mistaken as fearful, as that would imply they have a secret vulnerability and risk people pushing this on them in order to help. And most fearful avoidants would hate to be mistaken as dismissive, because they crave connection and understanding and if people were to assume they didn't want those things, it would simply be another form of going unseen.

I'm a dismissive avoidant, possibly the hardest to romanticise. Its a lot easier for securely and anxiously attached people to imagine that I'm fearful, that I do want to be vulnerable and emotional but am too scared to do it. Because that makes it easier to explain as a struggle, and less relational to them. I imagine its quite painful and difficult to come to terms with the idea that I am simply more comfortable on my own than with others, as inhuman as that is. This is why I see very little content on the dismissive avoidant attachment style, and what I do see is demonised or lumped in with/mistaken for fearful.

TLDR:

Fearful avoidants

Want to be vulnerable, seen, cared for and loved.

Cannot cope when this is recieved.

Mix of avoidant and anxious.

Uncomfortable in being alone and being with others.

Dismissive avoidants

Do not want to be vulnerable, seen, cared for or loved.

Cannot cope when this is recieved.

Far end of the avoidant spectrum.

Comfortable being alone, uncomfortable with others.

Yes, you can be a mix.

[alazarrr]

[wanderingmind867]

A confession that is probably going to make me sound awful: Even if I were alive in WW1 or WW2, I would have refused to fight. I'd like to think my mental illness would have prevented me from contributing anyways, but if they tried to force me to, I would probably run. I'm a coward afraid of dying. I can support wars, but I can't fight. Can't do it. Thankfully, there's been no wars or mandatory military service that i've ever had to worry about. Seriously, I hate the idea of mandatory military service. It would give me a panic attack. Repeatedly. The first sound of gunfire and i'm going into shock. I can yell and scream and even hit things, but I can't take it back. Too thin skinned, cowardly, weak. I'm awfully cowardly.

[machetelanding]

[theautisticjedi]

Genuinely a bit worried that fnaf 2/3 won't have Mike or Vanessa in them....I'll literally die.

I know Matthew signed a 3 picture contract (I think) but did Josh and Elizabeth? Like I'm lowkey panicking 🚶‍♀️

[quoteunquoteskeleton]

just met robert shoulder 😔

[emojiburst]

[inmidsummerfiresrevival]

i'm on the toilet rn and i got a notification from insta saying someone liked my post and the way my heart dropped so fast i thought i was gonna shit it out

like i thought i accidentally posted something but it was just some rando liking up the only post i have from last year

[seathcreed]

Found this month's art challenge and decided to try it out cause i just started out and need more practice other than redraws. So here's a fearful little dragon, i don't think he's safe :(

[dakin1975]

i dont think tumblr is going to like my toxic yaoi ranson cannibalism art

[s7ieben]

Hide and Seek

acrylic on canvas – painting – 20 x 20 cm

S7IEBEN.art RedBubble

[sandimexicola]

Fearful

Midjourney prompt: A lone figure with glowing blue eyes stands in the center of an empty, cracked landscape under heavy fog. The ground is covered in dry mud and sparse trees that stand out against it. In front of him lies an endless horizon without any sign of life or light, creating an atmosphere filled with mystery and desolation. --p 641nvwj --chaos 25 --q 2

[mochiponadventures]

Sad Headcanon of the Day:

After Momo finds out about the old couple´s death at Crystal Lake, Juliana erected a beautiful graveside in a small part of her garden for them to give Momo a place where he can visit them whenever he feels like. On top of it lays the mythical Pecha Berry that had revived Momo in the first place.

The same she did for Ogi´s former caretaker, right besides the old couple´s graves, another tombstone was erected with a mask on it similar to the one Ogi wears in battle.

She did that to help them deal with their grief and to help the process of healing.