Dale's smug little ordeal once he's arrested, which in itself feels orchestrated (loitering at the bus stop while he has a car, every note he owns crammed in cases, backpack like he's about to have a sleepover, longlegs outfit ON), stating his name and immediately asking for Lee. He knows they will inevitably be bought together. The weepy tone he uses with her that he doesn't with the prior interviewer... the single tear. You can never quite comprehend what's an act, what's an actual emotion, or if it's all so entwined it's basically negligible. Such a vessel for his religion that his attachment to Lee is undecipherable. Can a husk feel anything for anyone.? Is this an act, is it genuine? Does it matter. One million thoughts forever and ever.
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FFXIVWrite 2024 Day 11 - Surrogate
Masterlist
Fandom: Final Fantasy XIV
Characters/Pairings: Leofard Myste & Warrior of Light
Rating: Teen & Up
Additional Notes: Takes place at during HW patch 3.5. Major spoilers for the Shadow of Mhach alliance raid questline.
Ao3 Link
Lady Raimille. The picture painted by Stacia's tale was everything an orphaned child could want from a parent. Everything except that she'd passed on too soon — but not before giving her foster son one last gift.
The noblewoman’s real portrait hung above them, enshrined in Leofard’s quarters. Presiding over his affairs and his family; watching over the man himself. Moro'a knew that paintings like this cost a considerable sum to commission, and that taking care of them required specific knowledge and attention; unexpected obligations for a sky pirate.
But the painting gleamed, immaculately free of blemishes. “I had wondered as to the origin of his vessel's naming,” Cait Sith said softly, his voice touched with emotion. “‘Tis a most beautiful painting.”
Moro’a’s time in Ishgard had also taught him that portraits like this one were made to memorialise — a likeness captured in brushstrokes, preserved from time. Remember me as I was, in this moment. Remember what this person means to us. Situated where their loved ones could gaze upon them, and never forget.
I doubt I'll ever feel worthy to sit where he sat.
Throughout their adventures, Leofard had pretended as though the portrait wasn’t there, and it was all Moro’a had needed to know not to bring it up. He’d accepted it without judgement, without ever considering otherwise. What was he here for, if not to hide from ghosts and broken hearts; from memory?
But now that Stacia had told them what Leofard would never impart himself, the pieces that made up the leader of the Redbills had finally begun to click: why a man who prized freedom so highly would build his new home a stone's throw from the Holy See, and why the loss of his airship had made Leofard retreat into himself, like a creature seeking familiar refuge.
It seems she kept him safe until the very end, Utata had said, and Moro’a’s heart had clenched so tight that he thought it might shatter.
It wasn’t any of his business. The voidsent had been stopped, and Cait Sith had found a new home. His time with the Redbills was coming to a close. It’d been an engaging distraction, which was precisely what Moro’a had needed; there were no stones left to overturn, no more accidental revelations to be had. He would go his separate way, into the unknown, and then…
Later, as he was stowing the few essentials he’d brought into the manacutter, Moro’a heard footsteps approaching. He turned to see Leofard, who was already dressed in a clean set of clothes and red-tinted goggles. “I almost forgot,” the sky pirate said, as breezy as could be now as he held something out in his hand. A Redbill scarf.
“You didn’t have to,” Moro’a murmured, feeling a strange mixture of reluctance and guilt.
“And I say otherwise, Warrior. I reckon you’ve done more than you’ll ever need to to have earned this.” His hand stretched closer, and Moro’a considered refusing. He was ready to quit this place, to move on. I’m not who you think I am, he wanted to say.
Instead he found himself reaching out for the scarf, and tucking it in with the rest of his things.
If, after he'd said his farewells, his hand reached under the collar of his shirt to gently hold the necklace that rested against his chest, to remember, he was the only one who needed to know.
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anyway i just need to get through saturday (the wedding party w/ ben's fam) without a public meltdown + then things will calm down a bit. this is actually not true bc its my birthday on the 26th and then my sister comes to stay for a few days on the 27th but at least that's quieter than a 40-50 people get together. im so sad about it, i feel feral and crazed by the idea of being looked at again, i feel much worse about it than i did about the actual wedding, i think bc last year i was fresh on the starving high + this year i have not been starving myself at all and feel generally shittier
also obviously bc i was already dreading it my period started tonight so. that's great as well!! love to wear a fucking white dress in those circumstances x i told ben i would wear the dress for like half an hr then im putting on my normal clothes and that's that. and he wasnt bothered by this, i think he is having similar thoughts anyway about the whole thing except i think he is looking forward to it more bc a) he doesnt ahve an eating disorder and b) he likes his family
on the plus side my hip has been muuuch more reliable lately, the last few times ive done the walk to and from town it's been achy by the end of it but not at all going into the spasms of agony it did basically every time i tried to walk anywhere longer than half an hr (and sometimes less if it was a bad day)
also not sure i even mentioned this here but a bunch of intl friends are coming 2 worcester late sept to hang out, first time since the wedding for the americans (and the german) and it is gonna be really nice to see them :) obviously im anxious about it bc of my irritating nature but how amazing that we have a group of people who are literally flying across the world to hang out with us for a week. that is really lovely and worth celebrating. trying to be ok about the fact i havent lost any more weight since the wedding and just being like. normal about seeing my friends who dont care how much i weigh
oh also. one more thing, my mum said to me "do you know who met for the first time at [location of wedding party]?" and i immediately felt that i DID know and was like - not daddy's parents?? and she was like i knew you inherited my Psychic Abilities :) but it was them - which is a bit funny. i hope their rancid vibes have cleared out by now bc they were bad people lol
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