#(especially safety last!!!!)
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ive never seen anyone talk about this before so i will: i think the second opening of dungeon meshi symbolizes what would have happened if the winged lion won.
#think about it.#the blank background with nothing in it that seems to stretch out forever#the shot of all the background characters rising while being unnaturally happy#the golden kingdom citizens especially#and thistle dancing with delgal#being that delgal's happiness and the citizens' safety was his desire and all#which had already been eaten by the lion previously#not sure what it means that the touden party are the only ones seen with monsters and food but im sure it means something#my working theory is that it represents the eat or be eaten thing#the rest of the characters are being eaten#the party is seen capturing monsters to eat#in the end of the dream sequence they all smile as they fall into a pot#but at the last moment#both them and the pot disappear#perhaps that is the refusal to be eaten#and i think the shot of them looking into the pot with tiny versions of themselves#represents "if you want to take (eat) you must be prepared to have something taken away from you (in this case their lives. since theyre#gonna be eaten)#i think#tldr dungeon meshi opening 2 is laios's prophetic dream of saving the world from the maws of the winged lion by refusing to bow down and#become a meal#food#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#edit: my mistake the touden party arent the only ones seen with monsters — theyre seen throughout the opening#but my point still stands#theyre the only ones seen attacking/hunting them#aka making an active attempt to survive
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Hey, really love your succession meta, I hope this is welcome in your ask box. Idk if this is something you talked about already, but there is this persuasive assumption in the general fandom space that roman was the only kid who suffered physical abuse ever that in my opinion isnt really supported in the text/subtext. The way the past abuse of all the roys is talked about, to me, always implied a wealth of countless, other traumatic experiences that are simply not talked about and may very well be physical abuse. To me it feels like it was set up this way to fire up the viewers imagination and illustrate the sheer, unspeakable magnitude of the abuse. I just cant see Logan never losing his temper and getting physical with the other sibs but I struggle to put into words why. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think Rome was the only kid facing physical abuse? Youre always so eloquent in your analysis and demonstrate a complex understanding of dv dynamics. I appreciate your work :)
Hey! Thank you for your kind words, anon, and it’s definitely welcome in my inbox!
Yeah, I’ve noticed that assumption about Roman a lot too, and it’s not one I personally agree with, although I do understand why people make it. Roman is, after all, the only one of the four children that the show explicitly depicts receiving physical abuse, and he’s the only one who really has his abuse talked about by the other children (interestingly, on both occasions Roman’s abuse is actually weaponised against other characters, not against Roman. Kendall uses it as a way to try and hurt their father in 4.02, and Shiv uses it as a way to say that Kendall deserves greater punishment from their father than he’s receiving in 2.01).
I actually would say that we’ve had pretty explicit evidence that Kendall received physical abuse too, namely in the way that Logan came at him at Connor’s ranch after Kendall’s relapse in 1.07 (especially because I’d argue Kendall was doing in that scene what Roman has done a few times now by seeking out the hit, and the reason Logan held off was less about not wanting to, and more that he punishes his children by not giving them what they want), and in Logan hitting Iverson with the tin of cranberries in 1.05. I talked about the latter in this post, but I’ve always read the blocking of Kendall behind Iverson as a way of having a flashback without having a flashback, and the way that the episode ties Kendall and Iverson’s experiences as the same I think underscores that.
(It’s hard to comment on this particular point without seeing the scripts, but Arian Moayed has said in an interview too that the script for 4.04 had Stewy say that he’d seen Logan through a shoe at Kendall which I do think is likely meant to echo what Shiv says about Logan beating Roman with a shoe in 2.01 too, but given the scene was condensed, I’ll leave it out as canonical evidence at this point).
As for Shiv and Connor, yeah, I do think there was physical abuse for both of them as well, and I think it was probably fairly common for Connor when he was very young, and probably infrequent enough for Shiv for her to push it down (honestly though, given her character, I wouldn’t even be surprised if a part of her re-wrote it in her head as a positive after the fact. Getting hit means, after all, that she’s one of the boys).
So it does beg the question of why Roman’s abuse is easier for them all to acknowledge. I have a few theories about that, but ultimately, I think it comes down to an adolescent othering of Roman by Shiv and Kendall, and all four of their relative proximity to each other in their formative years.
Alan Ruck has said that Connor’s about fifteen years older than Kendall which puts him in a unique situation growing up where I imagine there’s a lot about his childhood through to his young adulthood that the Golden Trio simply don’t know due to the age gap. They obviously know bits and pieces – what happened to Connor’s mother for instance, Logan’s temporary abandonment, and the situation with the cake – but I’d generally say that those are life events that scaffold a childhood, they don’t provide the detail of it.
The child desertion that came with Logan’s temporary abandonment too would also have been extremely formative to Connor as a character. We don’t know when this was (although I do have my own theories on that too), but it would’ve fundamentally changed any existing dynamic between Connor and Logan, and I think we see that quite clearly in the man Connor is. His people pleasing, his co-dependency, his need to control the terms of his relationships (notable in the entire context of his relationship with Willa), his fear of rejection, and his fawn response to certain situations are all symptomatic of childhood abandonment. I imagine a lot of that started after Logan’s desertion, but then likely were compounded with Logan’s re-entry into his life, and I think that grew into his sort of subservience and performed affability which was likely inherently tied to the fear of being abandoned again.
In that sense, I think there was probably less physical abuse with Connor as he got older because he learnt how to navigate their father’s temper and stopped testing it / always acquiesced out of a fear of being deserted again. If most of his physical abuse was when he was a child or a teenager, well, Kendall, Roman and Shiv hadn’t even been born, there’s already a remove for them in terms of their relation to it.
With Kendall, Roman and Shiv, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Roman being sent away to school in Delaware while Kendall and Shiv were both living with their father still and going to school in Manhattan. There’s a childhood separation there when it comes to Roman, yes, which breeds its own sort of ‘othering’, which I’ll come back to, but I do think there’s a lot of evidence in the show that depicts Kendall and Shiv as forming something between a ‘half and half’ and a ‘trauma-shield’ sibling relationship.
I’m getting a bit scientific here, so I hope you don’t mind, but a half and half sibling relationship is described as consisting of ‘the reenactment of traumatic events with their sibling due to the flawed attachments the sibling has to their caregiver. This sibling relationship is often the most violent, and is seen as a love-hate relationship with each other. This often plays out as the siblings’ relationship becomes too important as a substitute source of nurturing and threatening as a potential cause for abandonment. The siblings are confused about their psychological connection to a caregiver, and act out a push/pull relationship with each other to achieve maximum comfort from that caregiver.’
On the other hand, the trauma shield sibling relationship is when siblings ‘use each other as a shield from the abuse and interrupt the development process. They become fixated at the same developmental level and exhibit similar interpretations of their struggles despite the chronological age difference.’
The show regularly depicts Kendall and Shiv as being mirrors to one another – they are the winning dog, the rightful heir, the only real competition to one another, and now the only two to be parents and continue the lines of succession – and I think we’ve seen the effect that’s had on both their lives. They have moments of genuine intimacy and trust, they defend each other, they reach for each other when things are blowing up and become active participants in each other’s attacks on others, just as they also are the most ruthless with one another, the most violent, they weaponise each other’s weaknesses (both real and perceived) and have tried to ‘kill’ each other more than any other iteration of the siblings.
I also think that they both are in extreme denial about the abuse they received, and I think that they enable that in each other and shield each other from the realities of it which is easier to do when Connor and Roman weren’t there for it, and easier to do when they have each other to reiterate the artifice of their lives. God, one of the things that’s so great about the karaoke confrontation in 4.02 is that it kind of lays that out. Kendall and Shiv work together in that scene in a way that shuts Roman and Connor out at best and at worst uses their abuse and neglect to make a point while never saying anything about what Logan’s done to them. Shiv might bring up Logan advising Tom on the lawyers, but even that is a way around the things we’ve seen Logan do to her, and Kendall’s literally behind her the whole time. They’re in-step in their refusal to acknowledge what their father’s done to them, just as they’re in-step in forcing their brothers’ abuse out into the open to make a point.
I think this dynamic likely established itself around the time Roman was sent away to school, because I think Roman being sent away fed into Kendall and Shiv’s shared narrative that they were the prized children. It likely did have this degree of othering for Roman which emphasised his perceived weakness in the eyes of all three of the Golden Trio, and I think he likely had readjustment periods when coming home for the holidays that did see him hit more. I think those periods likely let Kendall and Shiv off the proverbial hook until he inevitably went back to school, where they could control their own abuse narratives again through their shared understanding of what the ‘story’ was.
This has gotten very long, haha, so look! This is a roundabout way of saying that I think Logan’s parenting style has been divide and conquer for as long as he’s been a parent, and that that has coloured all four of their understandings of their own abuse. The difference is that Connor and Roman were cast out, and the fact of being cast out at all means that abuse and neglect has a light shone upon it. It gets some oxygen, it gets to breathe, which makes it real. Kendall and Shiv weren’t cast out, they were kept together in their father’s house in Manhattan, and I think getting to stay behind closed doors in the dark let them hide even from Connor and Roman. It didn’t see the light, it didn’t get any air, so it was never real. I think it allowed them the ability to hide, deny or re-write their abuse, and I think they used (and still use) each other to do it.
#this is so long anon i am very sorry#i've been thinking about this for a while but especially since 4.02 with the way kendall and shiv worked together against logan#it was Very Interesting#i've done quite a bit of trauma response training recently + have worked a lot in child safety over the last six years so i think i do watc#the show with a particular eye#hbo succession#roman roy#kendall roy#shiv roy#connor roy#logan roy#succession meta#cw abuse#welcome to my ama
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everything feels like a slurry in my brain. simultaneously like i've been swept up into a hurling vortex that lurches around on unsteady legs and also like i'm the only stagnant thing and everything else is a loud cacophony of color that's almost startling. my eyes are hot and they feel wet. my head hurts. my chest feels empty. i blink and hours pass. everything feels like it's a stone's throw from reality or maybe i'm just on the opposite side of the glass entirely. i feel hollow and i feel brittle like the tiniest bit of pressure will make me shatter.
#my hands are cold but they're always cold but they feel nice against my face right now.........#i think. i haven't been dealing with things as well as i thought i have been especially the last week or so#might be mia for a bit guys. there's nothing to worry about regarding my safety at all but there is a.....#distinct...lack. of feeling or anything right now. just total numbing apathy and i dont like how i am both to myself and#to others when i get like this.#hopefully this passes soon xoxo. eventually i'll be fine because i'm always fine....
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People who talk about "dream cars" and what status they will project are so far removed from my life i struggle imagining we're even the same species
#under no circumstances should i be allowed to drive for everyone's safety#i wasnt bad at driving the One time i tried but i was under the threat of defunding and deportation from the usa if they found out#so i was careful and it only lasted a few minutes in a parking lot#but yeah no i cant stand to hear ppl talking about cars im sorry ESPECIALLY when theyre talking abt the status the car will convey#you are insane like actually brainwashed. as the prophet and angel i am i must cure you#maybe it's my holy calling to commit vehicular manslaughter one day
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these batman villains are always using these various chemicals, toxins, drugs, what have you. but what are their lab safety procedures while making these concoctions? do they have goggles, no loose flammable strands? do they have fume hoods? id think they’d need fume hoods there’s fumes!
#i speak#dc#im vehement with lab safety its no joke. get those goggles back on or i swear to god#anyways this was prompted by looking at scarecrow last night in fear for sale. the man is wearing socks#where are his shoes? and parts of his outfit seem especially at risk of catching fire!#i expect better from a man this serious and though i dont know if he taught in a lab or simply lectured#he would have the previous knowledge at least of basic lab safety but this is assuming hes in his costume while in the lab
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just did all the party sidequests. that was really cute
#i think my favorites personally are bonnie's and beau's#bonnie's because they're such a good kid and it's so fun to see the 'reveal' for not just sif's eye but the awkward distance between them#and sif's heartfelt shouting when it comes to bonnie's safety and the unquestioning acceptance of any personal cost if it means#they can keep the kid safe and alive#and how that changes the nuance a bit specifically regarding their eye when it comes to the way they avoid their problems#and also how the ''i would do it again and again and again'' and ''what's the alternative? my friends getting hurt?''#vs bonnie's ''but i don't want you to get hurt for me''/''you think you're better than everyone and you jump in because you don't think#it matters that you get hurt'' reflects on the overall looping situation#and it's going to be fun to see that super duper promise broken because Bonnie Won't Know#and like with all of the quests but this one specifically it'll suck so bad for siffrin to do these over and be able to Zone Out#''you don't want to have to loop back to before you spent that time with them''#and loop's dialogue when i went back to talk to them before beau's + their ''isn't that nice?'' ohhh i want to be right about them being a#future/parallel sif so bad. i want the ''if i were you i would just spend all my time in the House getting stronger'' thing to have made#this sif's spending time with their friends and having them come out stronger for it hurt in a complicated way#especially with the ''i don't think about your friends. i don't look at them. i don't worry about that. how are YOU stardust'' like i am SO#anyway. and beau's GIRL HELP ME#I WAS PLAYING ON ANOTHER TAB. SIF WHEN I HIT ''ATTACK'' I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD HAVE A SNEAK ATTACK ONCE#START THE FIGHT EARLY SITUATION. NOT THAT.#oh neat that was like. a mini loop. can we do that on command now or was that scene like. not technically a loop ?#tristesse is distracted...i know the sadnesses appearing on new floors now is a thing. as remnants how are they affected by loops...#help. the new memory. is that a sif thing or a sadness thing. [remembers the 'ghosts'] could be both ! lmao#ein babbles#isat blogging#the last 10 of my drafts are screenshots and reactions because i want to go back and look at them#i really need to do that thing where you make your own discord channel#i will also say. it was really funny how they had siffrin sort of suggest that you take this party with you all the way to the end without#looping. because that's what i usually do anyway because i'm inefficient but enjoy the grind and looking for new dialogue#and then immediately the game was like. BUT. this time you gotta pay attention and make sure siffrin's not a freak who weirds out your part#like oh ! ok !#kicking my feet behind me twirling my hair calling loop heyyyyyyy bestie what the fuck
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(gaiden and iw spoilers) hiii i finished infinite wealth and I'm kinda insane about it hope you don't mind
i can't stop thinking about how disappointed i am in iws story :( especially with how the jimas they just get thrown under the bus all the time
what bothers me the most is that i was so hopeful after that scene where the four all fought together at the end of gaiden(when daigo says the No Balls line)
after he says that and kiryu has given him a little speech about how he's proud of him, majima and saejima nod at each other, and JUST THAT tells you so much about how he's talked to them about how insecure he feels about dissolving the clan, going into hiding and all that stuff, it made me so hopeful for a proper talk between daigo and kiryu, for kiryu to finally change his ways and actually try to help him out instead of asking for shit without giving anything back all the goddamn time
it's really fucked up how we got that subtle story telling and then just. oh they're fishermen. oh kiryu's asking them to do stuff for him again. oh he got pissed and beat them up and then left without doing ANYTHING again after not seeing them for three years. oh they don't get to come with when kiryu's dying in a fucking helicopter
being a 3jimas fan is suffering we could have had so much man. how did they even get to that village. why is it abandoned. why didn't we get to do anything with them we just left
i'm so tired oh my god
i've ranted Extensively with My Cabinet about how much i'm annoyed and disappointed by IW's story and handling of characters, and how the 3jimas were handled is one of them- tbh mostly daigo since he had more of a presence in the plot but perhaps because of that its awkward to see how the game handled majima and saejima as well
to just focus on daigo, it genuinely was really annoying how we were given SOME semblance of finally getting a scene where daigo breaks it all down for kiryu about how much the past twosome decades have sucked and that kiryu was abysmal for just dumping (AND CONTINUING TO TRY TO DO SO) problems onto daigo and others and maybe JUST MAYBE kiryu gives a right proper apology or realizes he's being selfish (again). like the build up was great, but it just falls flat when kiryu just. LEAVES after the fight after making them all feel like piss about themselves so the jimas pull through at the tower anyway
#iw spoilers#spoilers#snap chats#'but kiryu said maybe he just wanted one last fight' ok he didnt have to do all that while guilt tripping everyone jesus christ#majima woulda fought him for a can of coke- hell he wouldve fought him for free dont talk to me#what ESPECIALLY pisses me off about the jimas/daigo is just how ... Whatever the fall of the security company is handled ????#like they just chalk it up to cancel culture and its just .... ouuGH THIS THE RANT I WAS ALLUDING TO IN MY OTHER POST#JUST. ALL THAT PLANNING AND FOR WHAT ??? JUST CAUSE SOME CATGIRL VTUBER SAID YALL SUCKED ???#daigo's passion for the tojo men and making sure they all had homes and a safety net just means fuckin nothing ???#can yall at least SHOW ME how bad it got cause Mr Stubborn folding just like that is annoying#LIKE TRUE AND HONEST circling back to a complain i had with IW is that they do a lot of telling and not showing#LIKE HYPOTHETICALLY you did not need to show any of sawashiro's flashbacks slideshow style BUT THEY DID#AND IM GLAD THEY DID I WOULDVE APPRECIATED IT IF WE GOT MORE THINGS LIKE THAT#ESPEEECCCIALLY FOR MAJOR EVENTS LIKE THE SECURITY COMPANY FALLING IDK#does not have to be anything super serious just show the office getting emptier day by day idfk ANYTHING#its too early to be ranting like this but im having one of those weeks where im sad and angry about everything
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SF Silent Film Festival winter program!
Saturday, December 2, Castro Theatre
More information, tickets and passes at silentfilm.org
10:00 AM
OF MICE AND MEN (AND CATS AND CLOWNS)
A collection of animated shorts, 1908–1928
Some of the most creative films from the silent era came out of an inkwell! Our collection includes animated shorts from 1908–1928, films that outshine much of what followed. For sheer audacity and pure joy, these films by cartoon masters Including the Fleischer brothers, Pat Sullivan, and Walt Disney, can’t be beat!
Fantasmagorie (1908, d. Émile Cohl)
How a Mosquito Operates (1912, d. Winsor McKay)
Adam Raises Cain (1922, d. Tony Sarg)
Amateur Night on the Ark (1923, d. Paul Terry)
Bed Time (1923, d. Dave and Max Fleischer)
Felix Grabs His Grub (1923, d. Pat Sullivan)
A Trip to Mars (1924, d. Dave and Max Fleischer)
Vacation (1924, d. Dave and Max Fleisher)
Alice’s Balloon Race (1926, d. Walt Disney)
Felix the Cat in Sure Locked Homes (1928, d. Pat Sullivan)
Live music by WAYNE BARKER and NICHOLAS WHITE
12:00 NOON
THE WILDCAT (Die Bergkatze)
1921, d. Ernst Lubitsch
Pola Negri, Victor Janson, Paul Heidemann
Before director Ernst Lubitsch left Germany to ply his famous ‘Touch’ in Hollywood, he made a series of comedies that gave hints at what was to come. The Wildcat is his last German comedy and his most riotously zany. Subtitled ‘A Grotesque in Four Acts,’ Wildcat makes use of extravagant set design and eccentric frame shapes that lend a surrealistic edge to its antic energy. Pola Negri’s Rischka leads a gang of mountain bandits who ambush Lieutenant Alexis (Paul Heidemann) on his way to the local fortress, leaving him pant-less (and smitten) on the ice. Film writer John Gillett called the film “both an anti-militarist satire and a wonderful fairy tale.”
Live music by MONT ALTO MOTION PICTURE ORCHESTRA
2:15 PM
THE EAGLE
1925, d. Clarence Brown
Rudolph Valentino, Vilma Banky, Louise Dresser
Clarence Brown's rousing film displays a perfect blend of elements—romance, swashbuckling, a modicum of humor, and the great Rudolph Valentino! Not to mention the splendid production design by William Cameron Menzies and gorgeous camerawork by George Barnes. After Valentino's Russian lieutenant rejects the amorous attentions of Catherine the Great (Louise Dresser), she orders him arrested. Instead, he flees and becomes a masked avenger intent on righting the wrongs visited upon his father and his countrymen by loutish nobleman Kryilla Trouekouroff (James A. Marcus). But the nobleman has a beautiful daughter (Vilma Banky)...
Live music by WAYNE BARKER
4:15 PM
PAVEMENT BUTTERFLY (Großstadtshmetterling)
Germany/Great Britain, 1928/1929, d. Richard Eichberg
Gaston Jacquet, Anna May Wong
Luminous Anna May Wong goes from a fan-dancing carnival act to an artist garret and finally to the French Riviera where she accompanies a wealthy art patron around Monte Carlo, draped in haute couture. Wong left Hollywood in search of roles more fitting her talents than the racially-circumscribed ones at home. This Weimar title showcases her magnetism—when Wong is onscreen, you can't look away.
Live music by the SASCHA JACOBSEN ENSEMBLE
7:00 PM
SAFETY LAST!
1923, d. Fred C. Newmeyer, Sam Taylor
Harold Lloyd, Mildred Davis
Harold Lloyd's bumpkin salesclerk comes up with a publicity stunt that will bring attention to his department store and earn him the money to marry his sweetheart—scale the 12-story building like a human fly! Shot in downtown Los Angeles, the stunt has given us one of the most iconic images of the silent era—Lloyd precariously hanging over the city street, dangling from a broken clock. James Agee wrote: "Each new floor is like a new stanza in a poem; and the higher and more horrifying it gets, the funnier it gets."
Live music by MONT ALTO MOTION PICTURE ORCHESTRA
9:00 PM
FORGOTTEN FACES
1928, d. Victor Schwertzinger
Clive Brook, William Powell, Olga Baclanova
Heliotrope Harry (Clive Brook) and Froggy (William Powell) are partners in crime—genteel armed robbery—at least until the cuckolded Harry commits an even bigger offense. Before Harry goes to prison, he leaves his baby girl on the doorstep of a wealthy couple to keep her out of the clutches of his no-good wife Lilly (Olga Baclanova) and tasks Froggy with keeping close tabs. But Froggy is no match for Lilly...
Live music by the SASCHA JACOBSEN ENSEMBLE
#silent film#san francisco silent film festival#sfsff#castro theatre#i've seen three of the five features but they're all ones i'm happy to see again#(especially safety last!!!!)#(with mont alto doing the accompaniment!!!)
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instead of spiralling hardcore i can draw quartz . how about that
#last few days have been . rough . i cant lie#today especially was . yep . definitely still very mentally instable#however . instead of doing more unhealthy things . i have quartz#autism saves the day ? maybe so#anyway . quartz . squeezes them in my little hands for safety#(rambling into the void)#maybe one day i'll be better but for now critters from inside my mind
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I really do wonder just how many more years tumblr has in it
#like#they usually do things to make the site less desirable to even open multiple times a year but it just feels as if things have really moved#into the ‘yeah it’s so over-‘ stages of its survivability#like I wished that artists sex workers writers whoever could migrate to a website that accepts us all and that cares about its userbase and#our satisfaction and safety but no such place exists on the internet especially in regards to social media man#rambling#tumblr is definitely no longer viable#it will not last for more than 5 years is what I’m feeling#will end up as desolate as MySpace (even tho MS has been making a comeback but you know what I mean)
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*posts that brain rot only to post more xD* -nix encountering gabriel is quite literally an inner dialogue like "ah yes I can work with fellow victim of Cosmic Horrors, if I am tolerated and just maybe ignore my own issues." (could be bloody, having just done some fatal stabbings *highly moody* and nix is just like unphased by it) -ironically, in contrast encountering michael for nix would be far more terrifying for nix (his internal everything would be like 'neat- this is cool and he seems pretty adjusted... so how about you feel like you're in extreme danger despite that' and nix is just forced to be cagey as shit more than normal by forces out of his control)
#<<insomniac vampire speaking>> mun post#(this is very d.ominion specific and so what im being emotional given almost done with another rewatch lol)#(have more thoughts but im just mostly full of these two cases specifically)#(-nix full on dying internally and slamming the gas encountered by michael especially if is kind-)#(meanwhile with gabe it's like yeah he seems cosmically terrorized and beyond exhausted i can vibe with that)#(*cough* not it also going with how safety is scarier than chaos for him *cough*)#(plus like can be of help vs would only be stuck maybe being helped)#(nix 'why focus on my issues when-' *gestures at gabriel* i could try get this one 5 minutes of rest)#(he is stupid but that's why he is lovable)#(nix could be vibrating from his inner horrors and just like 'hold up i need to negotiate for everybody to just get an solid nap damn')#(-does an first murder and is far more concerned about others sanity than with the sick feeling inside him-)#(k- now to continue rewatching the ouch that is lots of the last episodes of s2 lmao)
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Not that I really care about The Last of Us, but my current mental chewing gum whilst I sit here waiting for a rental inspection is wondering how they're going to adapt the second game for television. The first game lends itself to adaptation because it doesn't really hinge on the medium.
The second, to give the series credit where I normally don't, really, really hinges on it (to the point that I think playing on Grounded actually makes the gameplay and story really mesh - obviously an accessibility issue, sure). I'm mostly interested to see how they decide to do it than having any actual emotional investment in it. I don't really like the ethos of the universe or the fundamental narrative logic or depiction of social collapse but I can get behind humanising the enemy, so I think they did some interesting things there, I just don't think they did it for necessarily the same reasons I personally would and I think their moral philosophy or lack thereof is not interesting.
The way they'll have to do it for television (especially with a proposed season split) might by necessity end up being less interesting to me. That the one [redacted event] is actually the inciting event of the story and not being a series finale is kind of what carries it, because they already drew their ace card (most fans speculated about this anyway... no idea why it was a surprise, it was just the way they did it that was different... and that's worth talking about because they like their shock value). A lot of 'rewrites' for TLOU2 I've read have moved around [redacted event] to the ending for more emotional catharsis, and whilst I normally appreciate narrative structure and conventions I don't think it would have nearly the same effect or same thematic intentions/motivations.
That's a point I revisit with fan rewrites (and generally fan criticism), you have to look at what those motivating themes are before you move stuff around or replace it. A lot of the time it just becomes something else. 'I don't like it' is not the same as 'this doesn't make sense', and that goes for me too lol.
#the last of us spoilers#for safety lol#such a bad time to talk about the second game sorry#to be fair I think player agency is an interesting topic especially about the ending... and a discussion about entertainment vs. games#as a storytelling medium is a different topic
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hmmm
maybe i need to not do this tonight after all
#speculation nation#discacc shit#i am. just stressing myself out with this pressure lol#+ with minimal encouragement atm im just running myself in circles#trying desperately to finish writing. and i am soooo close#but i can just imagine how this will turn out#i push myself too hard to finish this chapter tonight. which it WOULD take a real push to finish it tonight.#bc im officially at 16k words for this chapter. and i am not even done writing.#i stay up far too late to edit. bc that is a Lot of words to edit.#i end up sleep deprived. it's a long chapter so people wont even be able to read it quickly#i can barely sleep anyways bc im too busy waking up every hour to check to see if there are any comments (which there likely wont be.#or at least will be minimal comments. bc as i said it is a long chapter. people cant make it through it quickly)#then i crash tomorrow bc i didnt get the engagement i worked so hard for as quickly as i wanted it#im still without a beta reader bc andi is recovering which means i dont have the safety net / reassurance that beta reading provided me#and ultimately i end up in a shit state tomorrow. unable to even jump into my next bit of writing as ive pressured myself to do.#i can see it fully laid out before me bc this is EXACTLY what has happened the last few chapters. last chapter especially.#i did end up getting pretty good engagement on the last chapter. but it took time. & by then i'd already had an entire crash over it#as much as i want to finish this b4 the 21st i really need to be mindful with myself#i am doing no one any favors by rushing it. least of all myself.#really if youve read this far + youre a discacc reader. i would rly appreciate if u could send me some kind of encouragement#even as little as liking this post would help. tho a reply/ask would b more effective lol#im currently stuck in the sink hole of 'no one cares' so. it'd help to have that proven wrong.#is it annoying that i have no fucking object permanence w/ knowing ppl care about my writing? Absolutely!#but idk im just trying to do my best with a shit brain. any bit of help/reassurance would be appreciated
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if I'm chattering about my friends/crush here all the time anyway, I have to admit that I have a severe aversion to philosophy after whatever the fuck happened the last year of secondary school (so the year right before university) and I have personal beef with Plato, but my crush is actually interested in that and tbh... I will not go out of my way to study it, but I would probably hang onto every word my crush would say about it and I should maybe tame my first reaction of distaste (though, the intro to philosophy class I had last year wasn't That Great either, so I don't have a lot of good experiences academically with that subject)
#morningtalks#Gotta at least share some fun stuff and now just the Might Have Gone Horribly Wrong In So Many Ways event at the end#God I love this girl so much#And we're starting to spend more time together. It's fun#We spent a decent chunk of last night playing a 5000 year old boardgame#I eventually won but it was close the entire time#And while she was often the one enduring awkward stories about her being told she kinda did it to herself a bit#And I did try to defend her whenever I could#With a mutual friend of ours we might also have developed a new very weird inside joke#But like. Really weird...#But the night was genuinely so much fun#Even when we were at the bar. I hate bars I hate dancing I hate loud music I hate the lights but my friends were there#And she especially was there and it was fun. I had so much fun#I am still very much shaken by what happened (it was less than 24 hours ago ...)#But I am genuinely mad that they soured the entire memory of this night so much#I had fun. We laughed we joked I was so close to her the entire night she did sexy dances at me and I got a bruise#But it all had to be ruined in the most terrifying of ways#Again. I was most importantly scared for her safety. Mine was secundary as long as she somehow wouldn't get hurt#But I want to think about the good things that happened that night too. It was so incredible and I don't regret any of it#Well maybe having moved a bit while she danced (and even then I barely moved. She just calculated the distance poorly) which led to said#Bruise. But it was in such a funny context and she said she was fine after so it's all just one funny event in a super fun night
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cigarettes after sex is coming to my city next week and i’ve been wanting to see them live for so long but i haven’t been to a concert alone in almost 2 years and i’m nervous i can’t decide if it’s worth it to get a ticket
#i have multiple friends who want to go but the resale is just way too expensive for any of them#the only reason i can afford a ticket is bc my sister got me a stubhub gift card for my birthday that i haven’t used yet#idk i used to go to concerts alone semi often but they were always smaller ones and this is at one of the biggest venues in my state#i’ve been there multiple times before and i always drive myself so i’m not worried safety wise i just think it’ll be overwhelming#to be alone at such a big show especially bc i can’t afford pit tickets so i won’t really be able to make friends in line or anything#idkkk i keep going back and forth bc do i really want to spend that much money if the idea of going alone is stressing me out so much#but on the other hand i was so upset when i couldn’t afford to see them last year and who knows when they’ll be back after this tour#lj.txt
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my label printer is down for like the second time this week and i hope i can just swap it out again bc other wise i might have to deal with the IT guy and i don’t know what mood he’s in with me and now IM pissed bc everytime i have a tech issue i worry about him helping me bc he made shit weird to no fault of my own!!!!!!!!!!
#personal#also my coworkers the other day who know the story left a bag of chips on my desk#and were like no we saw IT guy do it#and didn’t stop saying that in all seriousness till i was like do i need to leave a bag of chips on his desk as a thank you?#and they were worried what might happen from there#actually thinking about it i didn’t like that joke#especially bc i was like guys be fr did he do this bc i need to know for my own sake and safety#anyway i hate men in the work place#like literally what was i supposed to do i got the job he got a crush and was vocal enough about it#that someone felt the need to pull me aside 3 weeks into the job and warn me#and would straight up follow me on my breaks and now IM feeling weird whenever i need him to do his job#bc HE was a freaky ass weirdo#and then the fucking mail guy telling me if i end up hurting my back he’ll rub it for me#i don’t like taking the mail at fucking all for several reasons but now i gotta deal with one of the mail people#going beyond staring that i could write off to full on weird comments#i fucking hate men in the work place so bad#i say this like my last female boss wouldn’t hold me for 30 minutes for our weekly meetings when they should be like 10 minutes#and told me i bet you like to get good girl in bed in front of everyone else among other things#get called#maybe i’m the problem maybe we gotta sand all my features and body parts till im smooth like a ken doll
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