#(doctor voice) im going to fucking kill myself

[quietwingsinthesky]

the comedy potential of a thoschei incest reveal is also unmatched btw. like what’s worse as a companion: the amazing alien taking you planetseeing has been fucking this evil murderer guy this whole time OR that that guy is also his sister. what do you even do about that. pack up and leave? drink to forget? …….try to wiggle your way in there anyway (<- the harkness approach)

[zouisalmightie]

.

[batemanofficial]

i need weed. i need a medical card so bad or im gonna go out of my fuckign GOURD

[heart-shaped-chains]

I've had coarse hair like. Under my chin for a while now, but now I'm actually starting to get it on my chin. Even though it's just a little spot, I'm super hyped about it. I haven't even started transitioning yet, I already have a head start :)

[incorrect-riordanverse]

finally reading tsats here are my live thoughts (spoilers, obviously):

i’m so excited because some pages are darkly decorated and its so cool. still don’t vibe with the title though (the sun IS a star and its peeving me)

why are we talking about dating darth vader 😟 where are we rn (anakin is a yes, but DARTH VADER???)

maybe i’m too old but the jokes are not funny 😭

“this whole place feels like my soul. empty and dark. dark as the pit of the underworld.” <- i don’t care if he’s joking nico would never say thissss 🙏😭 we’re only 10 pages in but please stop butchering my fav character he’s not himselffff i am cringing so bad

i know i’m being dramatic but if they do nico dirty in this book i’m going to end it all

oh my god i don’t think i’ve thought about the words “significant annoyance” in so long. bringing back good memories for sure.

i can tell which parts were written by riordan and which parts were written by oshiro. i don’t think their voices are blending very well together…

also, maybe it’s because it’s the start of the book and they’re trying to familiarise new readers quickly with the characters but it feels like they’re making nico the caricature of ‘emo and shadow and ebony darkness dementia raven way 🥀⛓️🖤’ and will the caricature of ‘happy and sunshine and blonde and flower gleam and glow ☀️🌈🫧’ and i usually like this dynamic when it’s not blatantly pointed out every other page. i have faith they’ll show more complexity than this later on though. future yan will let me know by the end. (future yan here, im not at the end but the characterisation def does get more complex thank gods)

oh ok so it is bob the titan

since when was nico’s actual name niccolo??? how did i forget this detail??

“you have to listen if not you’ll share my fate.” “ominous much?” <- ok he’s finally himself again guys it’s all good

the one-sided beef nico has with percy will never not be funny

“cookie monster appeared over the mouth of the jar, reached inside and gobbled up nico like the chocolate-chip cookie he was.” <- nevermind i’ve gone back to hating this book again

“what was one straight boy when you spent your whole life longing for the impossible?” <- i’m reminded of that time a few years back where everyone made ‘having an unrequited crush on percy’ nico’s whole fanon personality, so i’m glad they addressed this somewhat. this boy has been through so much and people really thought crushing on percy was the biggest thing to focus on about ‘nico angst.’

“we made a mistake. you have to fix it.” <- call me a red flag but if i was nico i would do anything and everything to not go. i would medicate myself so highly on sleeping pills that i can’t dream (doctor bf can go kick rocks). i would track percy and annabeth down and haul their asses into tartarus instead to do it. and if i had to go i would only go in to kill bob myself for sending me those traumatic ass nightmares. no thx. bro willingly jumped in himself and now wants me to save him. nuh uh.

not cupid being will 😭 its like his aphrodite 😭 i am not well.

they always have a really good and emotionally moving scene and they ruin it with a dumb joke. let it be heavy 👏👏

something’s really fishy and i have a feeling that it might not be bob calling for him

if this whole “grumpy ball of darkness” thing continues i will actually lose it

you can’t tell me the percabeth pep talk was actually needed. i will forgive it because i miss them though

im sensing tension in the gap between nico’s connection to the underworld and his relationship with will and i’m here for ittttt. give me the dramaaa

who is the gorgyra girl and why is she in their business sm?

oh shit a will solace pov??? christmas came early 🙏

nevermind that whole nightmare sequence was so fucked up 😭😭

somebody HELP HIM i never thought we would get will angst (nico angst fs, but will???)

DONT JUMP IN THE STYX PLEASE

SOMEBODY TELL HIM HE’S HELPFUL OMG

nico strangling epiales in his sleep is so fucking cool he’s literally HIM he’s literally THAT GUY

[reignoftiramizu]

The Kingmaker Histories S3 EP1: Operation ZUWIEbreaker (Because my brain is in shambles. Its so good)

The kingmaker histories SEASON THREE EP1 "OPERATION TIEBREAKER" IS OUT And I live reacted...... Per ushe. I am suffering from nuttybrain. The Cause, The Affliction, The Reason Why: The Kingmaker Histories. If anyone is interested in reading my "flipping the fuck out" for 35:23 mins then look below the cut. Spoilers beware. BEWARE!!!!

Ohh my god that transition of: “but to those who may be less familiar – Miss Culver?” SO COOL

The chair creaking as Ariadne leans closer on the “Since you-know-what” OHHHHHHHAAUAGHH WHAT A GOOD LITTLE DETAIL. I SHIVERED

What a cool fucking death for Schultz. Also Im obsessed with Addison’s delivery on “No you don’t. Not before I get that information!”

THE THEME SONG IS PLAYIINNGGG WELCOME BACK THE KINGMAKER HISTORIES. WELCOME BACK!!!! OH ITS GOOD TO BE BACK

Wow this second scene with the main three, AND Baldinotti (HI AUSTIN) AND MARIA (LIZ PLANT NATION!), IS SO FUCKING FANTASTIC Oh it has so much soul. It holds the soul of Kingmaker. Especially the set of lines where Maria is like “What the hells wrong with you??” And they all list down what happened, and then in-tandem, all go “YES” to extra strength. KILLER S3 START. I CANNOT CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT AND IM ONLY 10 MINS IN

LOVE MARIA SOOO MUCH. Because Liz is incredible & melds with the returning cast so much. ITS SO GREAT TO HEAR TAQI & BLYTHE & JOSH WITH NEW MATERIAL!!!! THE GANG IS BACK!!!! I also fucking love Maria to death. I will shout it forever.

Gonna make myself a prussian army doctor

“Hey Telsie” “What” “Matching bullet wounds” “Normal couples get wedding bands” “One of us should shoot Colette so she doesnt feel left out” “If you even think about shooting me Ill kill you” I LOVE THEM SO MUCH FANTASTIC LINES AND FANTASTIC DELIVERY. ALSO “Trouble sleeping?” “OH my god. Could you not–“ THIS SCENE IS AWESOME TOO. FUCK. I CANT STOP TYPING. Love hearing Colette somber.

MANDEL!!!!! MY FAV!!!! (FUCK YOU HOLMANN) MANDEL!!!! <3 <3 AND I LOVE ROXANA!!! OMG!!!!!! I LOVE ROXANA’S VOICE

“Beat. Mandel starts to suspect he’s fucked.” Oh the transcript treat. Listening along w reading the transcript is a treat.

What a tense scene between Mandel and Holzmann WHAT THE FUCK!!!! THAT WAS GOOD!!!!!

Ariadne and Winston fucking Churchill are interacting canonly. Only in Kingmaker. Oh my fucking god. Also “What circle of hell did you pick her up from again?”LMFAO

THE KINGMAKER FUSION SPELL SOUNDS. OH MYFUCKIGN GOD. IM SO TENSE THIS WHOLE SCENE. OH MY GOD!!!!!!! A SECOND KINGMAKER FUSION SPELL!!!!!!!! HARLOW NO!!!!! NO!!!!!!O  HMYGOD!!!! BONBON!!!!!! MORE LIKE BOMBOMB!!!!! WE HAVE ANOTHER COLETTE ADJACENT KINGMAKER HOST ON OUR HANDS!!! FUCK!!! THIS IS BAD!!!! THIS IS REALLYFUCKING BAD!!!!! HELLO!!!!!!

"HARLOW: (shaken to his core) Can I leave? ARIADNE: Of course. Give me a call if you want it taken out." Insane. Love this ^ both deliveries

OK. ENDING THIS LIVEREACTION WITH: FUCKING DAVID AULT WAS ALSO WINSTON FUCKING CHURCHILL!!??!?!?!?????

[ciaran]

ep10 thoughts (spoilers for trigun stampede 10)

it's very obvious that Vash's pain tolerance is at best highly variable and most probably obscenely high. he gets shot and makes barely any sound, without even giving the impression that he is deliberately keeping himself quiet, and then walks off. also what an insanely good character beat!!! I'm going to throw up.

i actually wonder to what extent (and I've been having this thought since the plant reveals dropped, around that time) Vash's extreme compassion for humans is inherent to him on a species level. most of the plants we've seen haven't been characterized (as much as they've been shown as having an internality) as...disliking the way they're used even though it's clearly bad for them? like this isn't scanning as a metaphor for slavery, more for symbiotic relationships or parasitic mutualism. not that i think that's a decent status quo but, ah. thoughts.

Vash apologizing repeatedly to Wolfwood ;_; WAIT SHIRTLESS VASH REVEAL????? IM SHAKING LIKE A CHIHUAHUA RN

“I can imagine, even if i don't want to, how a misfit like you is being treated by humans,” I'm going to climb into a rocket and blow myself up to fuck. what the fuck

i need to print every line of dialogue from this scene onto the inside of my skull they're giving me EVERYTHING i want

then we're immediately catapulted into some kind of sick and twisted old man yaoi between Doctor human experimentation and our good friend Roberto

side note it's very funny to me that the Meryl/Roberto dynamic parallels the Vash/Wolfwood dynamic in the sense of: idealistic person walks into trouble and their cynical, substance abusing boyfriend/mentor trudges despairingly after them to keep them alive another day. top tier

i love a good artificial and fucked up child I'll be honest. also Roberto saying “the important thing is how you feel when you see these children”...i may be reading too much into his character but his addiction and cynicism make sense to me from the perspective of this—essentially okay if ordinarily messy person trying to survive in a world where every daily decision runs counter to the basic morality he cannot silence no matter how much he drinks. which adds a certain tint to how he views Meryl? i don't precisely love their relationship as is (i would want a few more layers folded into it) but I'm inclined to view it more favourably in this episode.

SO I TYPED OUT "interesting backstory for Elendira" and then this guy said "he" so i was like "what" but INTERESTING BACKSTORY FOR ELENDIRA. PLEASE LET HER BE TRANSFEM STILL.

weirdly paced runaway scene though, really hollow and... tonally dissonant voice acting when i didn't notice a problem before. direction issue? it really jarring :/

VASH'S LITTLE WAVE AFTER THE ELEVATOR DOOR CLOSES IS SO. BABY BOY YOU HAVE MY WHOLE HEART

huh, Roberto really let them walk into a trap and then abandoned them there. stone cold! i like that in a guy

“I hate you” “me too, we might get along well” Wolfwood will find a kid who looks traumatized and unsupervised and be like “is anyone going to be an elder brother to them” and not wait for an answer.

oh, Roberto NO. this is so annoying. let me have a good dynamic between them for ONE episode before it gets utterly killed oh my god. violently irritating stuff.

thematically, i like that Meryl receives the message that it's okay to run away if you're scared from her mentor, who has literally always advocated for this while also following Meryl into trouble quite frequently. it's also very...i don't have a word for this but i see it happen often, where one character hears something alone that other characters need to hear too, that type of emotional beat; this is a message that Vash needs, and Meryl is meant to pass it to him. but it's also for her! i like that Roberto emphasizes on some level the importance of not dying for a cause, for knowing your limits and sticking to them even when the world is demanding too much from you—but then he dies for it? hmm.

this monologue from Wolfwood is very interesting, isn't it? “i don't have time to hesitate for the fear of making sacrifices, i have to make a choice. i will do anything to protect the things i cherish. i am the guide, after all... what a great babysitter i am; i managed to bring you here alive when you're always asking to get killed” oh Wolfwood i will kiss you and your Judas parallels directly on the mouth. with tongue. and feed you olives <3

“thank you for all this time” aaaaaaaaaa

he has stubble in this episode I'm about to burst into tears. i need to make a list of Wolfwood's hottest features starting with 1. betrayed the love of his life (or tried to, i suspect it won't stick) 2. STUBBLE!!!!!

KNIVES!!! also I've been really enjoying the cuts to Knives playing the piano between scenes. so beautiful, so tender. augh. brotherly reunion ;_;

i have so many thoughts about the scene between Vash and Knives but starting with “you're just trying to make up for the big fall” no honey i think it goes back further than that but also! Vash is the most guilt-ridden man of all guilt-ridden men. so yes. head full

“Nicholas, have you put down your cross?” oh they gave him a cross just for dialogue like this to hit like a truck. i get it. I'm dying fr. "and what if i have" while carrying. denial is a river in egypt

“the redemption will never end: no matter what you do, the humans will never forgive your sins before they die” okay lots to unpack there also. he's right! but also. lots to unpack

is this Knives plan with collecting the dying plants? to send them out in a blaze of glory to make Vash a plant with the ability to create? that's SO sick and twisted i love it. freak rights who is doing it like Knives Millions for his baby brother

incredibly satisfying episode, 10/10 would watch again.

[chemicalcarousel]

just finished watching that 2 hr colin ross lecture about DID and it was so good. i had no idea schizophrenia used to encompass DID when it was coined, but it makes so much sense with the name "split mind" and why people mix them up all the time and also why we were suspected to be psychotic at first. it's just scary that modern psychiatrists still can't tell the difference. we really recognised the struggle of "not fitting in any diagnostic box" (what multiple doctors have told us) because our symptoms seem kinda psychotic at first glance if you don't know much about traumatology

it's really wild hearing someone describe a patient with DID and relating so much to it, when you're used to being told by doctors in your life that you're such a weird case and maybe you have thing unique disorder that hasn't been described in literature yet. it's scary because DID is so common compared to what doctors suspect. i have very clear symptoms of being traumatised, i openly tell them i have complex childhood trauma, yet they think i can't have a trauma disorder or at most they might say bpd. i'm so obviously fragmented!! there's a reason i was all over the place symptom-wise when i was hospitalised for depression!!! some days i seemed not depressed and other days i almost killed myself because i'm dissociative!! like i didn't know back then either, but doctors should have noticed. they should have screened me for dissociative symptoms!!! they should do that with all patients, especially when they are fucking hospitalised!!!

i have switched to child alters in front of my psychologist before and she just wanted to see me "do that voice again" while i was so fucking scared because i didn't know what was going on. i know she probably said it to see if it was voluntary that i could change my voice, but it felt so humiliating and like i was a circus freak the way she asked. like she already knew it wasn't voluntary and it was a response to being triggered in therapy because we talked about my childhood trauma!!! she'd said she knew it was an automatic reaction i had to being triggered, still she said i didn't have "real flashbacks" so i didn't have ptsd and it was all just bipolar, which it turns out i don't even have!!!! lol she ended up giving up on me and passing me on to some other therapist, but man... she made me almost kms so many times lol i know she didn't mean to, but she was so fucking bad at her job imho

it was so fucking funny to have entered the clinic in 2018 with my own personal suspicious being that i have cptsd, then getting told no i don't until late 2023 where my 2nd therapist asks me if i know about cptsd and that i seem to have it BITCH I KNOW LMFAO I'VE KNOWN FOR YEARS BUT YALL GASLIGHTED ME INTO THINKING I COULDN'T HAVE IT AND TOLD ME I WAS PSYCHOTIC AND NEEDED ANTIPSYCHOTICS, ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND MOOD STABILIZERS AND DIDN'T LISTEN WHEN NONE OF IT WORKED!!!!!

man.... and now im waiting like 69 weeks for my next psychiatrist bc i gave up on that shit clinic, who didn't want to transfer me to their trauma department because i didn't have war or service related trauma..... even though i found out they also treat other cases than that............ this system is a fucking joke. also the 69 weeks is not for a specialist, this was just the quickest i can see a psychiatrist without trying to kms and being involuntarily hospitalised. i'm just gonna see some normal psychiatrist and idk if she even believes in DID bc i didn't get to talk with her, only her secretary. so maybe when that year and three months have passed i find out she only knows how to diagnose anxiety and depression <333 or maybe she's homophobic or transphobic, bc that's something i've also experienced! <3333333

man.... i was brutally abused by my family and neglected by the system since before i was born and now im just.... stuck here with an illness there's a cure for, but with no access to it!!!! and it's not like i haven't tried getting help - i've been in and out of psych treatment from age 14-27!!! i've read up on shit myself bc here doctors just say "idk take this pill and stfu, hysteric woman" like i've been misdiagnosed so many times now.... at least im almost off all of my psych meds now! like they are good for some, but i was literally just fed pills for shit i didn't have and when i wasn't feeling better, they just upped the dose and told me i'd be more unstable without it when this doctor had never seen me without it and i've been on it for like a decade, still super unstable <3

long rant/vent lol but idk man it's just nice getting some of this out of my system

[constellation-sys]

bsd ramblings (seasons 1, 2, and dead apple)

i would commit double suicide with dazai

why does everyone have a gyatt

kunikida x dazai??????

WHY ARE THE SIBLINGS SO WEIRDDDD

ranpo’s my scrungo

atsushi has trauma and is a furry

kunikida and endeavor sound really similar

dazai <33333

what the actual fuck is wrong with the doctor 

oh hey ginger

oh those bitches are homosexual 

the way they fight is so homoerotic 

“go to hell! i was being saracastic!” — chuuya to his boyfriend

dazai x chuuya

atsushi x akutagawa 

WHY IS EVERY SINGLE GUY IN BSD SO HOT

the animation has no right to be so good 

kenji is so silly. i love him

kenji loving cows is so real of him

i need more port mafia exec dazai

“he both fears death and is drawn to it” ME FR

DAZAI <33333333333333333333

i want to hold dazai. i need to ruffle his hair. i want to commit suicide with him, my last words being heard by him only. i want to drown with this man, the holy water bringing us both to the afterlife. we will both be free. 

chuuya is so silly

“come now, take me with you to the afterlife” DAZAI AJHDISBEUDBEUBD 

dazai is a disaster bi and i love him for that

i pledge allegiance to the flag of bungo stray dogs and to the fandom for which it stands. one nation under dazai, indivisible, with fanfic and fanart for all. 

dazai is down horrendous for oda. i don’t blame him

dazai my silly wet cat disaster bi husband <33333333333333333

akutagawa is so silly

WHY DID THE THEME SONG HAPPEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EPISODE WTF

men <3

oda is my dad now bc i said so 

the kid’s name is shinji? evangelion reference?? 

“because odasaku’s my friend” NO HE AINT DAZAI. HE’S YOUR UNREQUITED CRUSH. 

“because i know my friend better than anyone” DAZAI’S LITTLE GASP OMFG IEBEKSHWJJDEBBE OMFG OMFG IM GONNA CRY DONT EVEN WINEUEHEJEJ (friend who got me into the show) YOU BITCH

“you’re a were-tiger, grow some were-balls” KUNIKIDA YOU DID NOT

ranpo is autistic

WHY THE HELL IS THE BOSS SO WEIRD ABT HIS KID WIHDJEBE OMFG

“i can’t hear the voice of god with you staring like that” — every catholic ever

nathanial hawthorn is a silly catholic

margaret basically being the daughter of a rich plantation owner in the 1800’s is so american 

ranpo my silly

chuuya <3

q and kyouka are my children

osamu dazai my silly little wet cat autistic depressed suicidal maniac disaster bisexual husband <3

WHY IS MARK FUCKING TWAIN SO FINE OMFG THIS SHOW

lovecraft is weird. i like it. he’s accurate. 

margaret x nathan?? 

chuuya and dazai are an old married couple. i love them so much. 

“god i hate you” — chuuya to his husband who he loves very much

“don’t worry, buddy. i’ve got you” — dazai to his lover

“i’d expect nothing from you, my worthy adversary” poe to his bf

WHY IS POE FINE SOEJDIHENSHDBE

ranpo is so silly 

dazai is a cool uncle to kyouka fuck you

akutagawa and atsushi are down bad for each other 

why is scott fitzgerald a crossbreed between a dilf and a twink

cmon you two kiss each other already

is akutagawa down bad for dazai or just looks up to him

WHY IS THE WIFE NAMED ZELDA?? IS SHE A PRINCESS OR WHAT

i am OBSESSED with this show

never have i ever watched an anime with a shit theme song. i love bsd’s intro so much

hehe moby dick

if kyouka dies i’m killing myself /hj

welp guess i’m dying 

akutagawa my silly <3

nvm not dying today. hey at least kyouka isn’t dead 

dazai is akutagawa’s father figure sorry not sorry 

lovecraft is so real for jumping in the sea 

POE IS HERE WIHEEIHEIEHEUDHEHD I LOVE POE 

RANPO KISS HIM RN KISS YOU TWO KISS 

“but i prefer the women in my life to be under 12” E X C U S E M E S I R 

RUSSIAN MAN???? 

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT DUDE HELL YEAH

IWJDUEBEHE DAZAI QUOTING ODA IEHRUEBEUDHWHDUENDJDJHE IM GONNA CRY AGAIN BYE—

DEAD APPLE IS AMAZING. I WATCHED IT ON 9ANIME. ONLY SUB THOUGH

READING THE TRANSLATOR STRUGGLE IS SO FUNNY. o7 TO THEM GOOD JOB.

[kanouseis]

Top 5 Kamen Riders! (adaptations included)

okay so im gonna do this both ways as in favorite riders the shows and favorite riders the characters

for shows:

1. kamen rider w (wbk, my forever beloved, i dont think this will stop being my favorite soon. the fucking detective show. DUB E X crime and the city. fucking found family. hidari shotaro MY GUY. so much insanity just look at my header on here. phillip :')))) i have so many feelings and im forcing myself to stop here. ryu voice Dont Ask Me Questions.)

2. kamen rider ex aid (my first rider and yknow you dont forget your first rider. the gamer doctors are my beloved. the suits are so cool (taddle legacy!!!) kiriya is here AND HANAYA TAIGA. WHY IS HE LIKE THIS. taihii the most insane ship dynamic ever. POPPY MY BELOVED <33333 the character songs are So Good. i like real game and the taddle legacy theme a normal amount. EXCITE EXCITE ALL I GOTTA DO IS LIVE ON)

3. kamen rider ghost (big part of this is takeru which ill get to later. but goood theres so much good in this show. warera omou yue ni warera ari!!!! its literally so fun. and the messages are so good!!! life is beautiful and i never want to die. makoala and takekari marriages happened and nothing else is canon. THE BELT NOISE THE BELT NOISES. mugen ghost is my fav final form ever. that one henshin scene from the summer movie kills me. keep going go go go go go go gotta ghost!!!!!)

4. everything else ive watched so ooo and revice (ooo: i need to rewatch this one actually bc it made me feel so much but then i watched w next so yeah. ANKHEIJI LEGENDARY GAY OF ALL TIME. i love all the characters so so so fucking much but especially eiji this fucking guy. the greeed my beloved... the insert songs!!! so many times you can find me singing SONO SHUNKAN NOMIKOMARERU DAAKU SAIDO NO KIKEN NA YOUKUBO. so yeah you count the medals one two and three anything goes life goes on coming up ooo :')) (revice: free theraphy show fr fr. like just good vibes all around. loved this one so much. there is tragedy but we prevail. the music is fucking amazing i have listened to mirage mirror 73 times within a single month of discovering it. the suits!!! daiji and ikki and sakura the siblings ever. hana makes me emotional and also hanasaku oh my god heated drama between women. deep drop danger kamen rider demons INSANE belt noises in general. THE THEMES IN THIS SHOW YES I WILL LOVE MYSELF.)

and im not ranking gaim & gotchard since i havent finished them

now for rider characters:

1. shotaro/kamen rider w & kamen rider joker (the fucking guy ever. god. i like him so much its a little distressing. hes my best friend. i want to dress like him sort of unironically. i am feverishly waiting for my joker memory to arrive. HIS BACKSTORY MAKES ME SO SAD. LIKE I CAN EMPATHISE. SO MUCH. and his dynamic with phillip akiko ryu i :'))) the found family ever. yeah. i often rewatch w ep49 just for the joker scenes. i have his birthday as per my headcanon in my calendar. i am not normal)

2. taiga/kamen rider snipe (so. hes my type of character so fucking much. broken sad lonely fucker of a guy. i want to kill i also want to hug him and i want to make him kiss hiiro. saving people to save yourself,,,,, yeah. NICO TAIGA THE SIBLINGS EVER. babang bang bang babang bang shooting uh. his fucking emo fringe neon suit. the dog tags he wears for no reason. THE SNIPE PREQUELLLLL im gonna stop here before it derails but oh my fucking lord)

3. takeru/kamen rider ghost (YEAH SO. tied for my fav main rider with eiji. takeru is incredibly important to me if he werent the same age as my brother id call him son but alas. i want a hug from him i think it would fix me. his fucking journey as a character..... he makes me sad but like happy sad. like i appreciate life more when im sad about him. his scenes in the pacman movie literally kill me. you always gotta keep going chasing after life its the only way you can live. go go go ghost [i start crying uncontrollably])

4. daiji/kamen rider live (bonded with this guy 6 episodes into revice its insane. this character is insane. i need to hug him. his fucking character song is therapy for me. KAGERO YOU FUCKING EMO EBOY. daijis vcinema is so good and i felt so much. i love the evililtylive suit despite the stupid name. i just love daiji in general and i dont ever think about how his actor is the same age as me <3)

5. eiji/kamen rider ooo (MY GUY MY GUY MY GUUUUUUY. i need to give him a hug. hes been through so much. but he still. he still is Like this. like what the fuck genuinely. the scene from ep30 is in my head constantly. tied for my fav main rider with takeru bc god does eiji make me feel things. but this is so fucking long already if you need to hear me cry about him send me an ask bc. ohmygod. HINO FUCKING EIJI. i dont Ever think about him in zi-o. and ooo 10th is not real)

[darkestpsi]

when i say that i like both dabi and shouto i dont mean it in the "oh my god they're so hot i wanna fuck them" kinda way or the "lol they both hate their parents just like me fr" way but that i really do understand how its like to grow up around such tough, hard love. to have your entire worth, the level of care and responsiveness you receive in moments you definitely should not be seeking this constant validation but your fucking veggies and milk - all of that being based off just how useful you can be to your parents; being told that the point of your life quite literally is for the fulfilment of thEIR dreams, in THEIR way, under THEIR supervision, yknow?

like, i can literally not even begin to count the many recordings on loop i have of my mums voice in my head telling me to always be better and to do so much more, be so much more - achieve things, great things and live to just please and please and please - for herself, for her dead mother (who probably doesnt even care about half of the shit that i have done since she passed, because dead people cant feel - they cant feel, but somehow their presence still suffocates), for the status and the level of respect itll give both her and my dad (so that they wont ever be referred to as immigrants again) and the amount of money ill eventually get paid thatll somewhat, somehow all go back to them, anyway.

point is, dropping so suddenly from being so loved and praised and shown off when you were younger and tried your hardest to be that bit better to the broken toy you are now, unable to carry out their tasks - demands, even - easily replaced by someone younger, someone so much better than you; worth so much more than you. when they are born.

idk.

i joke alot about how similar my family dynamic is to the todorokis, the distance between me and my siblings now after all it was that we went through together and how im literally doing medicine for my parents so that they can get their doctor, and i can get my peace, but its very truly something ive had no control over my whole entire life. all ive wanted is some damn control. lmao. my mum literally named me after a doctor she saw on tv who was giving a lecture about medicine and i laugh at the fucking irony of it all because god, you dont even realise that this is fucking killing me, ma- but the thing with touya, the parts of him that diverge from my own experiences is the fact that he was able to break free from all of those restraints secured by his family, the goals they set him, the ones he set himself. the guilt and disappointment and oh my god, how could you -why - why would you regret not being able to meet those expectations and him being thrown aside like everything he ever received was so palpable and fleeting because he was a toy, was always a toy to my mum endeavor. he knew he couldnt compete with shouto. shouto the gifted child. the hero. the hate and anger he feels towatds him, idk, it hits so fucking close to home. but i also see so much of myself in the way shouto is so fucking willing to be the good child, the perfect child, who pleases and pleases and pleases; doing everything he is supposed to without retalliation because thats what hes supposed to do and thats what they want him to do and eventually, someday, somewhere he will get his peace as a hero, because he was "born to be the best", born to be a doctor hero - literally both sides of my personality at war oh my god AAAAA

i literally can not help but attach myself to those characters.

[skoulsons]

TLOU Ep5

Shorter bc my computer cut out and I had to hand write notes

This is horrifically dark

MY BOYS

that man is full of knives

“Stay with me” AND HOLDS HIS HAND. this is unfair

I love the way Perry stands

Jeffrey pierce looks so good in this role. The slicked back mullet??

it sounds like she’s talking to little kids

“You’re all guilty, so that’s how that’ll go” 😭

Okay but why be like “no one has to die” and then say “kill them”?? YOU WANT THEM DEAD OR NOT?

and jeffreys voice.

oh man

OKAY great I figured we went back in time a smidge but I wasn’t for sure. So the doctor was with them

poor Sam :(

WAIT IS IT AN ETCH A SKETCH?? are those THAT old? They can’t be. no that’s not one it’s something different

“He’s scared bc you’re scared” 🙃🙃

THE SCORE?? ITS THE SAME ONE WHEN JOEL AND ELLIE EMBRACE IN THE RESTAURANT HELLOOOOOO? ALL GONE (REUNION) RIGHT?? not the score evening out when he signs “super sam” im gonna throw myself down stairs head first

The same fear and reassurance between Joel and Ellie last episode. “No one’s gonna find us” “are you sure? “100%”

Henry pulling out the bag of crayons and then drawing together. why.

HE HAD PAINT AND EVERYTHING

their hug :( and Henry gently rubbing his fingers back and forth on Sam’s shoulder???;?/!;?

“He has an asshole voice. Joel, tell him he’s okay” “everything’s g r e a t” 😭😭

Joel giving Sam his food :(

The look joel gives Ellie when she tells them her name <3 so game-esque

HER SLAPPING HIS LEG TO GET HIM TO SHARE HIS NAME

Joel jogging and then leaning over to catch his breath 😭 me, always

“Get your gun out” AND HER SMILE AND HIS HEAD SHAKE

Ellie’s arm slung over Sam’s shoulder :(

SAVAGE STARLIGHT !

you’re kidding. soccer. SOCCER? IN FRONT OF JOEL?

*write on this L*

“But you get it. You might not be her father, but you were someone’s. I can tell” is his protectiveness that obvious

did Perry just make a “your mom” joke.

Joel criticizing Henry for talking too much and ellie smiling 😭

LISTENNNNN A SHOT AND JOEL TAKING HIS SWEET TIME TO TURN, FIND ELLIE, PUT HIS ARM OVER HER BACK AND SHIELD HER? make a whole ass dinner too why don’t you

Henry holding Sam’s hand :(

“If you don’t move, he’s not gonna hit you.” This reassurance 🫶🏻🫶🏻 “But if you go out there, he’s gonna kill you.” “it’s dark and he’s got shit aim, nobody’s gonna kill me.” “then he’s gonna kill us.” “Do you trust me?” And her nod 🕳👩‍🦯

Joel asking him to not do it bc he doesn’t want to kill him :/

EXPLOSION ! And as @ellie-licious and I were talking about, Ellie’s frolicking in the middle of the street 😭

the focusing shots of Joel’s face realizing that that body is Ellie on the ground.,.,..

WHERES OUR BLOATER

she’d really kill the kids. damn. you’re fucked up kathleen

BLOATER BLOATEF BLOATER

THATS SO MUCH INFECTED HOLY PISS OHMY

THERES SO MANY

THE SAME KILL ANIMATION. MWAH I LOVE ART

listen I know Joel’s skilled and he loves Ellie, but firing so close to her is SO ballsy 😭 AND HIM SHAKING DURING IT?? kill me. *WRITE ON THIS L*

im scared of scorpions :/

im scared of ending up alone :/

he showed her it oh fuck. oh wow was not expecting that.

NOT ELLIE TRYING TO FIX IT WITH HER BLOOD WAAAAAAA

“Stay awake with me” :(((((((

“I promise” :((((((

NOT A HUG.

shit. shit man shit. shit. why. why was I hoping for a different outcome.

Wow I was talking earlier if they’d play it the same way as in game. and they did almost 1:1. Wow.

Ellie calling out for Joel :/

JOEL BURIED THEM. wow different from game for sure, but I’m happy with it

[galactic-mayhem]

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING ELIJAH VOLKOV GOD DAMN FOOL PLUSHIE STEALING WORM EATING RAT UGLY BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT PROPHET OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF CAMP WIZARD MOTHERFUCKING ELIJAH VOLKOV

STOP TAGGING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT ELIJAH VOLKOV I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MUCH FUCKED UP KNOWLEDGE WHY DID HE JUST FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST TRIED BURNING DOWN CAMP IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL EFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN BEHIND HIS MASK AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIES HAIRCUT

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said elijah volkovs waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with elijah volkov speaking one more goddamn word in person on voice not only will i close the tab i will delete my bookmark out of spite and have to relisten to the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive

i don't even know why i hate him this much. he just steals people's stuff by hypnotizing them and groomed someone but i am just mad because i am angy

better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if he's just some shithead doctor whos a fan of plaything and wanted the irl version ill go ham

BETTER have had a camper try killing this man cuz if he didn't ill go to camp for the explicit purpose of trying myself

paypal dot com forward slash ihateelijahvolkov

episodes not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is maybe supposed to be his woodland tea party and i lost it

where the fuck is elijah volkov if hes alive i am going to so deeply wish he wasn't

crusty russian man

ill punch volkov and his sad vitamin deficient uncooked spaghetti twig bones will simply flake apart under my huge epic meat fist and he will disintegrate until all that is left is his mask and his stupid party city wizard cape that he got on clearance because he was broke to buy anything else

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when elijah dies or will die so i can make a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man whos done so many fucked up if true things

[quietasfire]

yelling into the void here. but to be very honest. my adhd and depression is ruining my life like i have so many deficiencies and physical health problems that i do not currently treat because im literally unable to stick to a consistent schedule of taking my meds. ive never been able to stick to a self imposed routine like ive had teachers lose their cool over it. i know that if i take my ssris i will be able to more consistently continue my medication and supplements and become healthier but i stopped going to the psychiatrist. my adhd diagnosis does jack shit too bc no one wants to treat me for it, i keep getting insane diagnoses like intermittent explosive disorder. some bitch tried to diagnose me w anorexia when i literally dont give a shit about my weight. i keep going to doctors when my health hits rock bottom and then i dont do anything about it. my hb is at EIGHT. ive had sinusitis for my entire fucking life ive never heard my real voice w my nose unblocked. i have various muscle problems that basically cause me chronic pain due to prolonged improper mobility aid use. so my chronic pain caused even more chronic pain. At this point my body is so fucked up that i cant eat normally without choking food down bc my stomach rejects anything being put in it. I am always hungry but i cannot eat. i am not a functional member of society, it's actually a miracle if i eat twice a day and realize what day it is. i want to kill myself 👍🏼 someone put me out of my goddamn misery

[pilotheather]

ok liveblog ok im watching on my work laptop bc persy is BUGGERED so no screenshots but broooo

im going to VOMIT OH M Y GODDDDDD

FUCK OFFF WHONIVERSE STOP IT. I DONT EVEN WANT THE WHONIVERSE BUT

THIS IS VOMIT INDUCING WHY IS HE GREENSCREENED INTO SPACE YOURE SICK GET THAT WHITE BOY BACK IN THE BOX

THIS IS SO DRAMATIC AND FOR WHATTTHI DONNA HI BABYGIRL HIII KISS KISS I

why am i actually welling up this is so cringe shut up IM

MURRAY GOULD YOU FUCKING RUBBED YOUR PUSSY STINK INTO THIS OPENIONG AND FOR WHAT ITS SOOO GOOD KILL MYSELF KILL MYSELF KILL MYSELF NO

my wonderful little etsy girl hi rose youre so adorbies i

HEY BRO WHAT THE FUCKING HELL HELP

DONNA IM GOING TO FUCKING VOMIT

GRANDADDDDD NOOO STOP IM GOING BERNARD CRIBBINS 😢IM HAVING A MENTY

HELP HELP SHE JUST FUCKING KICKED HIS ASSSSSS HELP IM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND SKINNY MAN . GET HIMDDONNA GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM

DONNAAAAA 😭she gave it all away?

why does that woman look so familiar im sure ive seen so many

donna is so real unemployed girl realness good for her

and she said trans rights

OK AGAIN WHO IS THIS WOMAN WHY IS SHE SO FAMILIAR. SHIRLEY. LIKE WHY IS SHE SO FAMILIAR

i feel like some of the side characters acting is wooden i can never tell if its just me or what like is it just me i feel like its david being the doctor and then random ppl like this woman whos just reading her lines out BUT sometimes i get this and i feel like its just me being autistic do yoi know what i mean like im just missing some flow bc hald the time other ppl dont pick up on it AM I . IS THAT STUPID

WHY IS THE BUDGET SO FUCKING FAT

BRO UM...

GIRL . I NEED YOU TO GET OUT OF THERE

SHIRLS. MA'AM.

rose dearest poppet- AWWWW HER LITTLE SHED IS SO DARLINGGGGGGGG

IM SORRY I HATE BEEP THE MEEPS DESIGN

I SAID IT I STAND BY IT

IM VOMITING

donna is such a good mam too i think im going to wee myself 😭. she said this CYCLEEE WILL BE BROKENNNNNNNNNNNNNN

SYLVIA NOBLE FOR ALL YOUR FLAWS THE FUCKING "YOUUUUUUUU" SHE PUT HER WHOLE FUCKING CUNT INTO THAT

GET OFF ME YOU SPACE RAT

DONNA YOURE MAKING ME LOSE MY FUCKING MIND

IM GOING TO PISS MYSELF...

STUART IS SO REAL

CAN WE KEEP STUART AROUND

WE COULD SELL MAD PADDINGTON FOR A MILLION QUID

VOMIT

EVERYTHING SHE SAID IS SO FUNNY

"i loved that man" WHY IS HE SO FUCKI-

HE'S NOT DEAD

IM SORRY SHES MAKING ME FUCKING LOSE IT I CANT FUCKING COPE HER

"Right i know her"

OK SHUT UP ITS CUTE I'LL KILL MYSELF IN FROTN OF EVERYONE

DOCTOR GENDER CONFIRMED PRONOUNS 😭?

"this lot are on my side"

NOT THE HOUSE BRO

THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTTTTINGGG

BEEP THE MEEP

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT UCKING SHIELD THING SIR HOW DID YOU DO THAT

COME ON THE MEEP

HER FUCKING HOUSE DOCTOR HEY DOCTOR

THANK YOU BOB THE BUILDER.

SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HER FUCKING HOUSE

WE ARE BREAKING IN

SIR

what the fuck are they feeding murray gould like sir this shit is bonkers yo

WHATARE THEY PUTTING IN THE FUCKING

seeing him drive feels fucking insane sir ?

YEAH AND NOW WHERE ARE YOU GOING DICKHEAD

CORNIEST MAN EVER IN MY FUCKING LIFE

MEEEP

MEEP THE BEEEP YOU ARE ON FUCKING TRIAL

THEIR FUCKING VOICE IM ACTUALLY GOING TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF WHYS THAT MAKING ME ABSOLUTELY INSANE

well now but meep is but a gender neutral girl . decapitating someone is just-

MIRIAM MARGOYLES WOMAN

FUKCING HELL SERGEANT NOOOOOOO MY FUCKING BUG BOYS GET THAT FUCKING SHIT UP

DONNA FUCK THAT FUCKING RAT UP

HER INTUIITTTIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN THE WOMAN KNOWS SHE KNEWWWWW

HELP

HE FELL LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES

HELP HELP HELP THE WAY THEYRE ALL JUST LOOKING AT HIM FUCK ME

IM JUST PASSING BY ALRIGHT

YOU ACT LIKE YOU KNOW HIM

right ok no no stop im going to fucking sobbing donna babygirl im going to fucking sob my HEART OUTTTTTT WHY- WHY DO THEY KEEP MENTIONING TH.....

ok im going to fucking lose it- the sort of thing you would do um

um um

hail to the meep or whatever lol

SHIRLEY you kind of ate that ....

FUCKING HELL IM GOING TO LOSE IT AT HER SOUPED UP WHEELCHAIR HEY DONNA

DONNA SAID FUCK THIS- THE DOCTOR FUCK THISSSS SHE KNOWSSSS STUART BESTIE BOYYY

TH

WHAT IS

WHAT IS THIS

OH MY FGOD HIS SKANKY LITTLE WAISTCOATTT AWWWW WOARW

i love it its been deadlocke di love it when shes deadlocked like fuck no my overpowered plot advancerer hasb-

THE WAY SHES LOOKING AT HIMM BROOO OK YESSSS YESS EYSS GIRLL LETS DO THISSS YESSSSSSS

ACTIVATE THE DAGGER DRIVE

BRO THE TECHNO BABBLE REALNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

THEYRE MELTING LONDON. SHAME. AH WELL. THERE'S OTHER CITIES. i think

i think

i think

oh my god is he going to wake her up

oh my god babygirl reunited no stop fuck me fuck off she

SHE

DONT SAY OKAY HEY GIRLY POPS

FUCK ME FUCKING HELLL

THATS RIGHT- CLSSSIC FUCKING DAVID TENANNT SCREAM BITCH CAN YOU QUIT HAVING A MENTY FUCKING B-

WHY DID SHE JUST REGENERATE

HI

TH

THAT FRINGE FUCKING FLICK- I GAVE AWAY MY MONEY SHES GOING TO MAKE ME LOSE MY MINDDDDDDDDD TECHNOBABBLEEE THIS BITCHHH

OK YESSS YES YESS SAY FUCKING WHATEVER #GIRL JUST SAY BULLSHIT WE CAN SAVE IT

GET UNMEEPED- HOW DID THE FUCKING GROUND JUST SEAL UP WHYS THAT MAKING ME CRACK UP

DONNA

IS SHE LIKE

HEY DONNA GET BACK UP GIRL

ok it does make me tear up though seeing them together like that- WHAT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHAT-R

ROSE?

NOT TO STEREOTYPE BUT LITERALLY EVERY TRANSGIRL I CAN- BNONBINARY IM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND

sorry im like

I feel a genuine sense of dread because this is going to be mocked to high heaven all over the press but at least they fucking made a stand i guess its kinda difficult

but like im going to kind of fucking lose my mind i dont know i wasnt expecting that help its so unintentionally funny but also ..... ok its like camp as fuck. thats the thing. im actually usually completely not a fan of like- really, really upfront conversations of stuff like that in tv shows if that makes sense? but its like... at least with the current vibe in the uk im like fucking sure. yep. just say it with your chest if youre gonna do it why not. sure.

ITS A SHAME YOURE NOT A WOMAN ANY MORE

THEY SAID WE'RE WOMEN SO WE DGAF HELP FUNNY AS FUCKING HELL

THE HELL DO YOU MEAN CYBER DOG?

WE JUST FUCKING WALKING PAST CYBERDOG?

;LET HER SEE INSIDE

WHAT - IT LOOKS SO RETRYO INSIDE -

BUT NOT HIM DID HE JUST CALL HE-

OHHH FUCKING HELL

OK HERES MY HOT TAKE IM NOT ALWAYS THE BIGGEST FAN OF THE CHROME INTERIOR- OK NEVERMIND ITS GOT FUCKING DISCO LIGHTS HE GOT HIS FUCKING LED STRIPS OF AMAZON

with cold milk sorry am i being stupid or-

did she just DONNA

IM KIND OF LOSING MY MIND

AND IS DOCTOR WHO CONFIDENTIAL BACK???? YESSS YES YES YES YESSSSSSSSSSSSS WINNER WINNERRRRRRR

[kysfimagines]

KYSF characters reacting to you dying during childbirth

warning: this is a very sensitive and sad topic which cointains youre dies. sorry

TUO: y/n noooo :( way to bring down the mood y/n!

MIKIYA: Oh, god, it can’t be... y/n is really gone, aren’t they? Well, it’s just you and me, Mikiya Jr. Mark my words, I will teach you everything I know, and we WILL avenge y/n by razing every last hospital to the ground! ...Oh, the good doctor! I was joking of course. Touchy, aren’t we? Obviously I’d never hold a grudge for you killing the person who birthed my child.

HAUNA: ok

CIJUNE: *cries for 19 minutes* my child.. you are all i have left. i will raise you into the best human being you can be for y/n's legacy. i swear i will protect you and love you the best i can *the whole time the baby is biting and scratching nurses and hissing*

PAYU: dang it! *snaps fingers* that’s such a bummer. welp. anyway. im gonna teach this baby to surf

AYASA: I am going to sue this hospital so hard that by the time I’m through with you, my child will be set for college AND retirement twice over. I have my lawyer on the line right now, actually, would you like to hear from him? *hands the doctor the phone but its his voice on the phone* Me again, bitch.

SOKEMUI: *rampaging though the hospital and screaming like a white woman in film's oscar winning scene*

ML: *kind of liked it* wow, y/n fucking died.. wow. kind of weird. i mean, i guess its sort of cute… oh yeah um *turns to the crowd of adoring fans and paparazzi* does anyone want this baby

HEAVENLY: i refuse to believe it… y/n CAN’T be dead! no way… it can’t be true…. *phone notification* oh! my starbucks order is ready. byeee

CADENCE: no.. how could this fucking happen… you’re a sham quack doctor *tries to fistfight the doctor and loses and dies*

JACOB: *through tears* y/n……. my poor sweet darling…….. i will send you off in only…. the finest of funeral rites. with highest honors. *blows up your corpse*

AURE: *glaring at baby* you did this...... you killed my beautiful yummy y/n..i am NOT going near that thing *the doctor: that is your child you have to raise them* no. i refuse to care for that creature

MARSHALL: what the fuck man...

ROO: Oh this is terrible :( Rest well, Y/N, you were wonderful... Now, who wants to raise this child? Nose goes!

LEN: this is so fucking sad *plays a perfect violin adaptation of Music of the Betrayed - 1 HOUR Of Epic Dark Sad Tragic Emotional Dramatic Music*

MIN: hahah funny prank ok y/n you can wake up now :p ....okayyyy,, theyre not waking up. you seeing this doc? o__0

CELESTIUS: *takes a picture* You’re going into my cringe compilation.

N*AH: ugh y/n 🙄 you know this is so embarrassing for me right? i couldn’t go to your seminars about “human rights” and “emotional intelligence” and “benefits of personal hygiene” because i was busy getting beer with the bros, ever think of that? you never think about my feelings. no, you always tell me that my cis white straight privilege clouds my better judgment and that i need to educate myself, even though i’m not even homophobic, no really. you always make ME look like the bad guy, and this is no different! you just went and died for attention. ohhh look at y/n, they’re dead, that’s so sad. boo hoo. because when people start caring about ME for a change you just can’t handle that because you’re a sensitive snowflake. god. and now i have to raise this stupid baby. pc culture has really ruined life for honest good men like me