#(do other people consider their muses their children…I sure do)

[sightburdened]

To celebrate the ninth anniversary of The Wrath of the Lamb, I will be writing tonight! This is so exciting, I’ll never forget that finale, the power it held over me. I’ll be here a lot more frequently, I want to write and just feel the power of creation again.

I hope everyone is well and, if you’d like my discord, give this post a little like.

[mysdrymmumbles]

I like to think the boar scene went something like this:

Astarion: The pig's dead, my friend. Staring at it won't bring it back.

Tav: *leaning in to inspect it, wondering what fresh hell they've stumbled into*

Astarion: And? Is it dead enough for you?

Tav: These marks are strange. Do you recognize them?

Lae'zel: No.

Gale: That's it? No signs of illness or... Anything?

Tav: It's otherwise in perfect health.

Gale: *now also inspecting the boar more closely*

Lae'zel: *if she cared less, she'd be as dead as the boar*

Astarion: *getting nervous as the wizard and cleric murmur amongst themselves* I-- It's been drained of blood from the wounds in its neck. It's been killed by a vampire.

Tav/Gale:

Tav: A vampire.

Astarion: I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to worry you.

Tav: You're saying a vampire did this.

Astarion: They are ferocious creatures. But don't wo--

Tav: I thought vampires went after people. Is this one defective?

Astarion:

Gale: Maybe it's one of the druids.

Tav: Wouldn't that be...impossible? For a druid to be a vampire? Aren't they diametrically opposed and all that?

Gale: It's no more impossible than what we currently carry in our heads, I'd imagine.

Tav: But wouldn't it be more inclined to not hurt animals if it were a druid?

Astarion: Yes, well. Muse as you like, but I doubt we will ever--

Lae'zel: Perhaps it is weak, and sought easy prey.

Tav: And it went after a wild boar?

Astarion: *growing agitated* What of it?

Tav: Do you know how much of a pain it is to fight a wild boar? Now there's a ferocious beast.

Astarion: *not arguing there, rubbing a bruise on his arm that was not there the day before*

Gale: I'm not so sure the boar's ferocity would matter much. From what I've read, vampires are more ambush predators, avoiding fights when they can and--

Lae'zel: We did not ask, wizard.

Gale: :/

Astarion: Yes, there certainly are more pressing matters to consider.

Tav: You still have to wonder--

Lae'zel: No, I do not. Whatever ended that boar's life is of no consequence to us, unless it crosses our path. Should it, we will cut it down the same as any other obstacle. We must not get distracted from the search for a creche and a cure.

Astarion: Now there is something we can agree on.

5 min later...

Tav: I'm just saying, if that was done by a vampire, then that vampire is just plain stupid.

Gale: I see we are not letting dead boars lie.

Tav: I just...was it challenging itself?

Astarion: What?

Tav: It'd be better off going after a person. I mean, the druids might put up a good fight, but the refugees? The children? Hells, it'd be easier to take me down than a wild boar.

Astarion: Noted.

Tav: What?

Astarion: Hmm?

[iwanthermidnightz]

“Anyone considering the whole of Ms. Swift’s artistry — the way that her brilliantly calculated celebrity mixes with her soul-baring art — can find discrepancies between the story that underpins her celebrity and the one captured by her songs. One such gap can be found in her “Lover” era. Others appear alongside “dropped hairpins,” or the covert ways someone can signal queer identity to those in the know while leaving others comfortable in their ignorance. Ms. Swift dropped hairpins before “Lover” and has continued to do so since.

Sometimes, Ms. Swift communicates through explicit sartorial choices — hair the colors of the bisexual pride flag or a recurring motif of rainbow dresses. She frequently depicts herself as trapped in glass closets or, well, in regular closets. She drops hairpins on tour as well, paying tribute to the Serpentine Dance of the lesbian artist Loie Fuller during the Reputation Tour or referencing “The Ladder,” one of the earliest lesbian publications in the United States, in her Eras Tour visuals.

Dropped hairpins also appear in Ms. Swift’s songwriting. Sometimes, the description of a muse — the subject of her song, or to whom she sings — seems to fit only a woman, as it does in “It’s Nice to Have a Friend,” “Maroon” or “Hits Different.” Sometimes she suggests a female muse through unfulfilled rhyme schemes, as she does in “The Very First Night,” when she sings “didn’t read the note on the Polaroid picture / they don’t know how much I miss you” (“her,” instead of that pesky little “you,” would rhyme). Her songwriting also noticeably alludes to poets whose muses the historical record incorrectly cast as men — Emily Dickinson chief among them — as if to suggest the same fate awaits her art. Stunningly, she even explicitly refers to dropping hairpins, not once, but twice, on two separate albums.

In isolation, a single dropped hairpin is perhaps meaningless or accidental, but considered together, they’re the unfurling of a ballerina bun after a long performance. Those dropped hairpins began to appear in Ms. Swift’s artistry long before queer identity was undeniably marketable to mainstream America. They suggest to queer people that she is one of us. They also suggest that her art may be far more complex than the eclipsing nature of her celebrity may allow, even now.

Since at least her “Lover” era, Ms. Swift has explicitly encouraged her fans to read into the coded messages (which she calls “Easter eggs”) she leaves in music videos, social media posts and interviews with traditional media outlets, but a majority of those fans largely ignore or discount the dropped hairpins that might hint at queer identity. For them, acknowledging even the possibility that Ms. Swift could be queer would irrevocably alter the way they connect with her celebrity, the true product they’re consuming.

There is such public devotion to the traditional narrative Ms. Swift embodies because American culture enshrines male power. In her sweeping essay, “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence,” the lesbian feminist poet Adrienne Rich identified the way that male power cramps, hinders or devalues women’s creativity. All of the sexist undertones with which Ms. Swift’s work can be discussed (often, even, by fans) flow from compulsory heterosexuality, or the way patriarchy draws power from the presumption that women naturally desire men. She must write about men she surely loves or be unbankable; she must marry and bear children or remain a child herself; she must look like, in her words, a “sexy baby” or be undesirable, “a monster on the hill.”

A woman who loves women is most certainly a monster to a society that prizes male power. She can fulfill none of the functions that a traditional culture imagines — wife, mother, maid, mistress, whore — so she has few places in the historical record. The Sapphic possibility of her work is ignored, censored or lost to time. If there is queerness earnestly implied in Ms. Swift’s work, then it’s no wonder that it, like that of so many other artists before her, is so often rendered invisible in the public imagination.”

— NYT OPINION: Look What We Made Taylor Swift Do

[syndrossi]

resonant ch27 dvd commentary

Favorite line:

The red priestess had thought Jon’s resurrection irrefutable proof of her god’s power, yet at times Jon had wondered if he was so different from the wights he faced across the battlefield: something dead, with fire breathed into him rather than ice, intended instead to be a puppet for R’hllor.

It's an interesting parallel, and one that I'm sure Jon has mused upon before. The dead are not allowed to rest; they are tools to be used by unknowable forces. Unlike the wights, of course, Jon is alive and has free will, but that doesn't mean his return to the living wasn't meant to serve a purpose, as the wights do.

Favorite detail:

The gifts! I had a lot of fun picking the first batch out. Rhaegar's gifts are pretty easy/obvious, and we even had Daemon musing last chapter about getting him charcoals and parchment. The book written by Aenar Targaryen will definitely be important/useful as they go through it. With the dragons left in the care of the Dragonkeepers, it's not a book that anyone has likely read in a century. Aegon or Visenya could very well have been the last to do so, other than Viserys briefly scanning it for information to reconstruct the hatchery in his model.

Meanwhile, the generational cartography is something that felt fitting for dragonriders to do. It is far easier to map something from a bird's eye view versus going about slowly on foot, though it requires recalling the details later, as dragonback is not the most stable position to draw from! One eagle-eyed commenter on the chapter guessed at Daemon's reasoning for Jon's gifts: in both chapters 24 and 26, he's shown interest in ship movement on dragonback and the landscape in general. So he gets a map and wooden model ships!

(Obviously Jon is attached to his bronze knife, but Daemon needs more lead time to have a Targaryen equivalent made.)

And the gifts also reflect aspects of Daemon that he shares with both children: a curiosity about the lay of the land and the movement of people and things below (a strategic eye), and his own interest in their family's history and dragons. Daemon's similarities to Jon are often more obvious, because their personalities on the surface are closer, but he shares many things in common with Rhaegar too!

Favorite dynamic:

The cousins, naturally. Aegon and Aemond's childish jealousy (enhanced by their existing dislike for their nephews) of their shiny new cousins spending time with other children, doing that thing that kids do where they demand you admit that they're your best friend obviously and far superior to any other friends.

Then we have Aemond "letting" Jon be Aemon so that he can be Rhaegar's brother instead, living out the dream of having a brother he likes and can relate to / have adventures with. While Aegon wants to buy "cool points" with his secrets.

And the sibling sabotage with Aegon's secrets, of course! With Otto as their grandfather and Viserys as their father, they are privy to some interesting conversations, which is a resource that Jon and Rhaegar can try to leverage in the future.

Meanwhile, no one has made any guesses yet as to the secret Aegon wants to show them...

Quick hitters:

I hate the flow of "Princesguard" but it's KINGSguard and QUEENSguard, so symmetry demands it. It's also very patriarchal (it's not called Princessesguard), but so is the Kingsguard tbh. I imagine "Princesguard" will be considered a neutral term.

I quite enjoyed delving into Jon's musings on the gods, and his conclusion that he'll pray to whoever keeps his family safe. It's a sentiment we've seen from him before, when Rhaegar has been in danger, where he throws out prayers to whatever god might listen.

Jon opens himself a little bit to Jon Redfort and receives a memory in return. A few folks on AO3 have wondered why Rhaegar can remember parts of Raymar's life but not Jon, and it comes down to Jon being very resistant to opening himself up that way. He keeps a very hard line of separation, which can make his emotions more volatile (Jon Redfort's emotions reach a boiling point that spills over).

I considered writing the gift-giving from Daemon's POV after I finished writing it in Jon's. I'm fond of the "least knowledgeable" POV principle, aka writing a scene from the POV of the character who knows the least about what's going on. Daemon lacks context on the candle, and he has no idea what the boys feel about his gifts, so we'd get his reads on both their reception of the gifts and what they're feeling about the candle. But it also felt reasonably fine from Jon's POV and I usually don't bother rewriting a POV unless I'm unhappy with a scene.

Harvest festival + ball name drop! It's about two months out for the start of the monthlong festivities, which gives interested knights of the land time to make the trek for the Princesguard tourney at its close (3 months from now).

The toy ships were a bit of a bust from Jon's perspective, since he's not actually all that interested in nautical matters aside from their implications for conflicts/supplies. But he wouldn't ever want Daemon to think so, so we'll see if Jon forces himself to play with them for his benefit later. 😅 Laenor+the Velaryon boys are more likely to be interested! (Laenor: You know, Daemon, if you ever need someone to teach you about seamanship...)

I really like the godswood as a setting. It's quite peaceful.

This chapter in general was quite peaceful, until Daemon dropped not one but two "famous last words" remarks at the end.

No deleted scenes or even deleted bits this time to share!

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

Do you know anything (or maybe have some headcanons) about Rohan’s wedding traditions? How do they propose to be married? What kind of wedding outfits do they have? Do they marry for life, or does divorce exist? Thank you so much! I so love reading all your musings about Rohan!

Thanks for this question, and for being so nice! I love to talk Rohan, so I appreciate the chance! ❤️

I’ve actually never written a Rohirrim wedding and there really isn’t anything to go on from the books/lore, either, so I don’t have a fully developed idea of what that would look like.

Off the cuff, I’d say weddings in Rohan probably vary a lot depending on the wealth, status, location, etc. of the couple. Rich people will obviously have a much bigger, more elaborate wedding, maybe with multiple days of feasting and revelry, while a poor couple has a simple ceremony and a little party. Someone from the far western borders might have different traditions, perhaps with some Dunlendish influence as they were direct neighbors and sometimes intermarried, versus someone in the Wold, which is all the way east, extremely rural and sparsely populated. There’s no official religion of Rohan or anything that might have imposed uniformity on all their rituals, so variety is the name of the game. But there would be some common cultural elements, like toasting and poems and songs, etc. All that ceremonial stuff is in the category of things I definitely need to think more about, though I’m also always interested in other people’s thoughts and ideas, too!

For proposals, I think it was a tradition for most of Rohan’s history (something they picked up from the Gondorians) for royalty and nobles to be guided into negotiated marriages that were considered strategically advantageous. (Marrying for love is one of the few privileges of the poor! They could just find someone they liked, decide between themselves that they wanted to marry and then move forward.) Arranged marriage is something I have addressed in my stories. I’ve written about Elfhild growing to love Théoden deeply over time but still always regretting a little that she didn’t get to choose him. Also, my Théodred HATED the idea of being forced into a marriage and held out against it, which is why he was still unmarried into his 40’s. He didn’t live to see that officially change (*sob*), but I think it did. Éomer makes it clear in ROTK that Éowyn consented to Faramir’s proposal — “she grants it full willing” — and if he had learned that personal autonomy was important for her, I think he’d want to give the same autonomy to himself, his children and others in the future.

As for divorce, there’s no evidence for it in canon (and I am CERTAIN that Tolkien would hate it) but I’m a big believer that divorce is one of the most important tools for the protection of women’s interests to ever exist. So I want it in Rohan! I have a tiny piece of a draft somewhere of Éomer’s wife (who is not Lothíriel in my fics, but a daughter of Elfhelm) being left to rule alone while Éomer is away on business in Gondor, and she essentially invents divorce while he’s gone by granting the plea of several women for the dissolution of their marriages to drunken jerks. Even though the husbands complain bitterly to Éomer when he returns, Éomer has learned some stuff through the years and backs his wife’s move. I’m not sure if that little idea will ever make it into a posted story, but it exists not just in my head but on my google drive!

Thanks again for being so kind! And if you or anyone else have creative Rohirrim wedding/marriage ideas, please always feel free to share them with me!

[gwynniethenymph]

Perhaps Something Greater

link to Ao3

Hi everyone! I saw all those beautiful fanarts of Gwyn and Catrin, and just had to write something about them. So, this is a quick drabble for day 1 of @gwynweekofficial.

I hope you like it!

The night of the Great Rite was always one of chaos. Amidst flowy fabrics and perfume sprays, you could sometimes distinguish a priestess or another, but the children—Gwyn and Catrin included, at the ripe age of sixteen—were advised to stay as far away as possible from the females preparing. Gwyn wondered why.

🌊🐚🌊🐚🌊🐚🌊🐚🌊🐚🌊🐚🌊🐚🌊🐚

She and Catrin climbed to the top of their favorite tree after Isobel shouted at them for the fifth time that night. Between the breeches and leaves, all Gwyn could see was the shining, silver moon and its reflection on the river. And her sister's beautiful face.

“Perhaps they all go naked and hug each other...” Catrin mused.

Gwyn laughed at Catrin's attempts to guess what exactly happened in the Rite. They knew males and females copulated, of course. It was a subject of great importance to the priestess who taught them biology, for the girls to know what exactly happened between two people for a child to take root. But it was odd, the need to have a huge get-together of sorts, just to have sex.

“Stop this nonsense. They may simply... reunite so the magic is stronger.”

Catrin shrugged, all charm and beauty. She was a spitting image of their mother, with her dark hair and pale complexion, no freckles in sight. Gwyn probably got her colors from their father, but that was something she would never be sure of. Suddenly, Catrin's smile faded and she looked at the stars, huffing a breath.

“Do you think we will participate in it someday? In the Rite, I mean?”

Gwyn considered her. Priestesses of Sangravah were only allowed to participate in the Rite after completely finishing their studies—not only in biology and mathematics or philosophy and literature, but also in their studies about the Mother and the universe. It was a breaking point for all of them, for they could have way more freedom than before.

“I really think so. We are doing well, Cat. We can do it.”

Catrin absently nodded. “Yes, I know. But sometimes... it feels really meaningless, you know?” She stared intently at Gwyn, her huge blue eyes a little wild. “I mean, is that our life? Study, pray, graduate, and then babies?”

Gwyn studied her sister. They had already talked about it, how they were raised almost to be just mothers. How Catrin sometimes wanted... more.

“It is... odd, I know. But I fear we don't have many options.”

Catrin's eyes glinted with mist as the wind gently blew her hair. “We could run.” This rakish smile illuminated her face.

Gwyn's mouth went fully agape, and her sister laughed.

“We can't run!”

“Why not?”

“Cat, we have a whole life here! And, only Mother knows what they’ll do to females like... us, out there.”

The mood darkened, growing heavier as they thought of their mother. Of how she went to take a swim and came back weeks later, dragged by the river flow, a gaping wound where her heart was supposed to be.

“I know, I know. I just... wonder sometimes. If I am fit to be a mother.”

Gwyn's cheeks burned a little when she thought about her own dreams. Dreams of a little girl she would cradle and love and care for, as soon as possible. She reached for Catrin's hands.

“I know. Perhaps there is another path for you, my beloved sister. There's no shame in wanting different things, and I pray for you to find your way.”

Catrin puffed and rolled her eyes, but Gwyn could see the grateful, loving glint in them.

“Enough of talking like our High Priestess. I think the carriages are here. Should we go down to spy on them?”

Gwyn threw her head back and laughed before agreeing with her sister. As they watched the carriages go away, she wondered when she would be the one leaving inside them.

She hoped Catrin would be by her side, too.

[nvrcmplt]

SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse(s)?

Being mostly OC based, to be faaaaaaaaaaaair - It's not something fixed in place but I can say with my whole ass that my ships with @intcritus and @avaere are most likely OTPs. Due to the length of time of knowing these two and just how deep our claws go into each other it's almost hard not to think about my muses that I ship with them / without them being mentioned, Muse-wise for sure. Like a part of my muses is made with them in mind, or they've made their corresponding muse unbelievably integral to my muses life and creation as a whole so it's like, yin and yang honestly. A few others are on that road too; eg; @asinusxdomi and @bonesofchaos

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

Everything to be fair, ain't no limitations when we're consenting adults, imo. Obviously nothing agreed on will happen and nothing plotted out for darker themes will be just like forced on people cause that's just shitty but also I know what I'm getting into when I go for those types of ship wants.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

I personally don't feel comfortable in reading about muses having any thoughts about children muses in that way and that's a hard no for me personally. I couldn't write it even to test the waters like I have with a few dark topics, ( dub con / non con etc ) It's just up there with those kinda of topics that I can't personally say 'yeah I'm comfortable with writing this for an experiment', not for me, so yeah long story short, no.

It's just common sense to not ship adults with children muses / characters, it's a big no thank you.

The youngest I could possibly ok in terms of just passing, is the 18-19 with someone in their 20 - 23 space - tops but even so, it still makes me wrinkle my nose a bit.

I think anything younger isn't something I'm looking for to read or write. Younger writers of that age can do what they want but like I'm 31, 32 next year, I ain't got that young-mind leeway anymore mentality and I cringe at the idea of making younger muses like below 25 to ship.

Are you selective when shipping?

Nah - I try to be to limit my needs to just swarm the dash with my shit but I ain't got much of a tick list or wall to climb over when it comes to wanting to ship w/ me. Like I make tags in a blink if I see us interacting a lot outside of just one or two asks a month thing. Like if I feel the vibe of actual interest towards my muses, then yeah I'm gunna return that interest if I get that spark and want to explore that dynamic ship in whatever way we're going.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

I will send you a BJ ask if you ask for it. So, whenever and whereever. I don't use readmores, so if someone finds sucking fingers too sexual, it'll just be there in the open. If we're going mating press on a Tuesday morning, so be it.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

/points at my mutuals./ These bitches suffer with me.

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

Talk to me? Lol, not hard. Forceship if you want, I'm game if we've got something going.

How often do you like to ship?

All day every day - you can't stop me and my mind.

Are you multiship?

Yes yes, I can singleship but that's only for 11+ year friends on here.

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

Yeah, I ain't gunna lie. I just love having ships and tags and a continuous plot going with folks and sometimes you gotta bag the muse to keep it going. Even if it doesn't end up a lovey-dovey or we plot a break up, I'm all for it.

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

Me and my mutual muses. I am the favourite ship, thank you.

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Love me and my muses with all your heart and send them your muses first born, ofc. But mostly just communicate with me, I ain't gunna be able to guess through jokes / vague tags or the occasional meme, like full on talk to me, spam my inbox with proper interaction between muses, if you don't feel the same is being returned, talk to me in DMs or Discord. I can't read minds.

tagged by : @avaere tagging: All of y'all.

[derrickwildsun]

Post-TOTK Musings (TOTK Spoilers)

I think the reason Zelda didn't burst into tears at the end of the final boss fight was because she just caught up in the moment. She was hyperfocused on the immediate results of everything that had transpired: her centuries-long plan had succeeded, Link had destroyed Ganondorf, and she was back to her normal self again and eager to tell Link about her adventures in the past.

I don’t think the full impact of everything Zelda did in the past would have hit her until she returned to Hateno and reunited with all the friendly faces she had been so accustomed to prior to the Upheaval: the villagers, the children, Symin, etc. Seeing all their faces again and returning to her and Link’s house (and maybe seeing the new one Link built for just the two of them in her absence) would probably make her realize everything she would have left behind had Link et al not reversed her draconification. She formed all those bonds with the villagers through acts of kindess and earned the love and respect of the children by giving them a genuine love of learning like the kind she had her whole life. With Link, she had carved out a home where she could live comfortably and just be herself, doing research on whatever in privacy. The realization that she would have lost all that permanently would probably hit her like a sledgehammer. She wouldn’t just feel bad about herself, but she’d consider how devastated all those people (especially Link and the schoolchildren) would have been at the possibility of her being gone forever. After struggling with feelings of low self-esteem for most of her life, she would probably realize for the first time in her life that she actually matters as a person and that Hyrule is a better place with her in it.

Zelda would also come to realize just how much Rauru and Sonia meant to her. We don’t see her grieve either of them much in-game (likely due to time constraints), but it’s possible she mourned their losses somewhat before undergoing draconfication. But imagine how she must feel about them knowing that they enabled Link to turn her back to normal after thousands of years. Thousands of years ago, they promised to help her find a way home to “put Link’s mind at ease,” and not even death stopped them from fulfilling that promise. They were the parents she had dreamed of having her whole life, and in the end they did for her what Rhoam never could: they saved her. Her love for them would increase tenfold and she’d make sure that they would never be relegated to the dustbins of history.

And of course I can’t overlook her now-increased love for Link. If she ever had any reservations or inhibitions about tying the knot with Link, those reservations would be gone for good by now. She put all her faith in him to carry out her final wish, and he succeeded with flying colors. And not only that, he never gave up on her. Most people probably would have called it fate and declared her a lost cause, but Link didn’t consider his journey over until he had Zelda, the beautiful, nerdy princess he fell in love with hundreds of years ago, back in his life. They’re ride or die for one another, and they’ll never leave each other ever again.

[prythiansfavoritefox]

1, 7, 9

(Elucien)

How did your muses meet?

Our first official meeting was in Hybern, when Elain was getting dragged into the Cauldron, but only a few people know that Elain and I met once before. I masqueraded as a rich human lord coming to invest my money in her father's hands, a former merchant. The contrast between her older sister, the viper, and her was incredible. Nesta reminded me of my eldest brother Eris with how protective and sharp-tongued she was. Once upon a time, Eris was that protective with me...

Elain was the complete opposite. She was charming and kind and dare I say a little flirtatious? I wasn't sure why I was so flustered by it until I realized we're actually mates.

What was the last gift your muses got for each other?

Well, I must confess...Elain has never gotten me a gift before. My last gift to her was pearl earrings; before that it was magic garden gloves. I understand her hesitations; for Cauldron's sake I have the same ones, considering I thought my mate was dead for centuries. But this in-between space we're in is so painful. Every time we're in the same space, I feel the need to touch her, and my skin heats up simply by being in close proximity. But it's even more painful when she walks away.

Do your muses want children?

Absolutely. I grew up in a big family, and while mine was toxic, I believe with the right parents that a big family can be the most beautiful thing in the world. The first time I saw Nyx, he reached his little chubby hands towards me like I was his lifeline. Apparently, the fire in my blood makes me very warm and cuddly and appealing to infants. Safe to say that Rhysand is irritated that I am Nyx's favorite uncle (and person). I caught Elain smiling softly at me once while I held Nyx, so I am guessing she might want children too. We have plenty of time for that, though.

[gerudospiriit]

aloe , daisy , ivy [ headcanon meme ]

Botanical Headcanons || Open!

aloe : how does your muse handle grief ?

[answered!]

daisy : did your muse ever feel as though their innocence had been lost ? what moment in their life could be described as the end of their innocence ?

[I don't think it sunk in at the time as losing her innocence, but the weight of her people's plight and their place in the world overall really sank in when Aveil's mother and the Gerudo's best general was killed in battle by a Hylian stabbing attacking her from behind. Though she was only five, she had already been surrounded by death for a good portion of her life, both from the conditions of their environment (though, before the war, things were better for the Gerudo) and due to the toll the war took on their tribe. However, because this death was more personal and one she came to understand is what lead to their loss, it was then that she started to really dig into ideas of not just wanting to be the greatest warrior the tribe had ever seen but also in wanting to help better their lives and make sure this couldn't happen again.]

ivy : what are your muse’s views on marriage ? do they believe it is something strictly for love , or an institution rooted in business & social benefits ? do they desire or have they desired to be married ?

[Considering she was engaged before...everything, she doesn't necessarily despise the idea. However, marriage in Gerudo society is very rare since the general loyalty to the tribe doesn't always play particularly well with other cultures' ideas of marriage and how it should work, and the fact that it's not something that's pushed culturally (*stares in angy @ bo.tw and to.tk*) like it is for other cultures, especially when it comes to women.

With that said, Nabooru has a neutral-ish view on marriage, though, depending on the context, it might lean more toward a negative view when generalizing the idea of marriages for social benefits and the like as well as how Gerudo women who WANT to get married to a Hylian often don't because the Gerudo wants to be with their tribe as much as possible, but most Hylians expect to live with their partner full time (and if it's a heterosexual marriage, the majority of Hylian men expect women to take care of the children and home, meaning she would have to break from the tribe completely to do so).

Thus, Nabooru definitely does feel like marriage should be for love, not convenience or status or anything else, which stems both from her own ideals about love and relationships as well as how the Gerudo don't view marriage as a necessity in any way. To them, relationships are just as valid without marriage, so it's more typically viewed as a reason to celebrate with the Gerudo than anything legal, religious, or super binding outside of how the couple perceives themselves as bonded together or monogamous if that's how they feel.

As for Nabooru's case of nearly marrying, it was definitely out of love, but not something that was necessary. Even though her title would change, her duties would stay notably the same. What mattered to her in accepting the proposal was first and foremost she was in love. Head over damn heels. Second, it was because it further showed that Ganondorf not only trusted her, but that he trusted and respected her enough to WANT to name her his queen. But on top of that, it also meant that they could actually be public with their relationship instead of hiding it after the marriage (even though everyone basically knew they were at least canoodling anyway). Marriage itself wasn't the reason she accepted; that didn't matter because she liked their relationship as it was and didn't need anything like a ceremony or celebration to legitimize it.]

[winniethewife]

Outcaste (Din Dijarin x OC)

Growing pains

Last chapter ~ Next chapter

Words: 611

Many rotations later they had been on several adventures together. They were falling in sync with each other. Sleeping in the same bed at night. Althea has become accustomed to wearing the blindfold to bed every night and waiting for him to take it off every morning. Althea had spent time with her aunt Bo-katan Kryze who had gotten her some Mandolorian armor, Althea didn't wear the helmet very much, except when they visited his clan. Like they were today after dropping off a bounty. Althea stood in her white and blue armor with the markings of clan Kryze and a Jedi crest. 

Din stood right beside her as she wore her new armor and he had to admit that it truly looked amazing on her. He was happy that she was adjusting to spending time with his clan. He would make sure to be by her side during this whole trip so he could make sure nobody bothered her. She walked right behind him, ignoring the stares from some of the other Mandolorians as they passed. This isn't the first time they've visited since she started to wear the armor but it was still a shock to most of them to have someone like her in their presence. This may not be her clan, but she is considered an ally at this point in time. As they approach where the Armorer resides Althea tenses up.

“I'll wait here while you go in. I don't think she likes me very much. Din looked back at her and gave her a soft, compassionate look as he held out his hand for her to grab onto “I understand.” She took his hand and squeezed it once, although both of their faces are covered by helmets they knew they were there for each other. She stood to the side and waited. Her fingers ran over her lightsabers. She watches as some of the children and foundlings play. She smiles beneath her helmet. A couple of the children run up to her. She got down on their level as they giggled calling her the princess. It appears some rumors of who she was had gotten around. 

She could feel the glares of some of the other Mandolorians follow her as she spends time with the children. Althea understands that she may be of Mandalore but these people wouldn't accept her since she has refused to 'walk the way.' and accept their creed. they murmur about where Dins loyalty lies. She feels disappointed when she hears the murmurs. She had done so much to respect their way of doing things without committing to it. To their children she was a princess of Mandalore, to them she was a figure of a time long gone and a way of life they refused to follow. She just wanted to relax for a while and not think about the weight on her shoulders of being one of the last of her kind. Both as a Mandolorian and as a Jedi. Her parents had both died for codes, she didn't want to follow one. But would she ever be accepted here? Would she eventually have to abandon the one good thing in her life so that he can follow his path? It was too much to deal with right now.

She doesn’t notice Din watching her and the children in the distance. All he can think about is how lucky he is that he met her. That she survived it all. He starts to walk over to her. A single thought passes through his mind.

Despite it all, Mandolore lives on

~

Masterlist

Tags: @soft-girl-musings

[pumpkincarriage3]

Jade and Floyd Relationship Analysis

The twins themselves, or as the fandom has taken to calling them, the tweels. These are the two characters that people can say without a doubt have literally been with each other through everything, even if it's because they are related, the fact still remains.

The twins themselves are incredibly different people, which reflects in their appearances, and reactions to things. It even reflects within their relationship with one another.

The two definitely care for each other, mainly as siblings would. The both of them could even be spotted affectionately bullying each other (even if it's mostly Jade doing all the bullying.) This aspect is interesting regarding the twins, simply because they are who they are. Typically, they'll only interact with someone if they find that person entertaining in some way.

While that is probably how their relationship was when they were children (In Floyd's Dorm Uniform Vignette, Jade alludes to them having other siblings, and that he "choose" Floyd. Considering in other cases in is said they are the only children their parents currently have, the implication seems to be that they may have killed their other potential siblings. Which -- isn't surprising if you look at it from a marine life perspective instead of a human perspective. Point being, Jade suggests at that point in time he originally "choose" Floyd because Floyd can be so unpredictable, hence full of entertainment.)

The reason that I say that they don't stick together because they find each other entertaining, though they undoubtedly do, actually has to do with their relationship with Azul. Azul says that if he ever stopped being entertaining, they would both abandon him, and just do whatever they wanted. The way it was phrased at the time, add in the fact that Azul originally met them together and not one on one, would imply that they two are a package deal. That if you're going to deal with one, you are going to deal with the other. That wherever one goes in life, the other won't be far behind. Kind of like its own pact.

This is even further reflected in Cater's musings about how the two act during the Spelldrive Tournament. He says that the two are perfectly in sync with one another. Which is interesting, because the two are so different from one another. They trust each other enough and know each other well enough, that they can easily do this. Even if they've only had their legs for two years, an impressive feat.

Though, mainly I would like to say how undeniable they are siblings to one another. Which sounds odd, of course they are siblings, what would that have to do with anything? Siblings bully each other affectionately, they'll be there together through thick in thin even if they don't appear to get along, and that's the twins relationship. (I'm referring to good sibling relationships, not strained ones since those also exist in plenty) This is mainly reflected in two things: One, Jade is one of the only people Floyd calls by name. Sure, Floyd also calls Azul by name, but it's an important thing to take into account. Floyd's names aren't because he really likes someone, it would make no sense that Floyd and Azul are the only people he doesn't call by nicknames otherwise. Two, Jade is extremely open about his affectionate bullying of Floyd. Especially involving mushrooms, since Jade knows Floyd wants nothing to do with his brother's obsession.

In several other types of media, twins are shown to be this close pairing of two peas in a pod. People that finish each other's sentences, and no one can tell apart. Ironically, because Jade and Floyd are nothing like that and are so different, this shows the two have an even closer healthier relationship than the twins in those media types. As long as people understand that, I don't think the two's relationship is an entirely complex one. They simply just are.

[magnetic-regent-magneto]

SHIPPING INFO — ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSE(S).

⠀ ⠀WHAT'S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSES(S)? Right now, I very much enjoy Storm and Magneto; just for the platonic compability and dynamic too.

⠀ ⠀WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING? What my partner is comfortable with is priority. I am willing to RP fluff, angst and nsf* with no issue. It depends on my mood a lot. It is rare that I do nsf* just because of my mood, not because I wouldn't. No incest, or certain kinks, things communicated with my partner. Also no OC children.

⠀ ⠀HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE? There are creepy age gaps vs dynamics where I am willing to accept it. The topic is difficult because Mags is reaching 90 canonically, was made younger, resurrected young, etc. It is difficult as one could argue that age-gap-wise, he should not be shipped at all. But grown women and men are okey to some extend. The X-Men are ageless in a way so it is extremely difficult to say nothing below 30 because they are not below 30, but they are visually? And Wolverine is 200+ years old.

I think, finally, it is a dynamic question and how comfortable I am with the character. Specifically anything below 25 years old is no. Up to 35? Diffficult-- Not sure. Above becomes more okey.

⠀ ⠀ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING? Yes. I do not ship easily but I like goofing when in the mood and there is a dynamic. It is also very unlikely that I ship with OCs.

⠀ ⠀HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY'RE CONSIDERED NSFW? Touching thighs is pretty close. I always talk with partners beforehand if there is some kind of sign the dynamic might develop there and posts are marked as NSF* pretty early on. Like even just really making out would be marked for it just to keep others safe and comfortable.

⠀ ⠀WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE(S) WITH? Magda, Rogue, Storm, Frank Castle, Exodus, Emma (more platonically), Briar Raleigh, Fisher King (hear me out) and honestly I vibe with Remy lately.

and Tony Stark for the giggles.

⠀ ⠀DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU? Yes, absolutely. There has to be dynamic first.

⠀ ⠀ARE YOU MULTISHIP? Yes. I keep the RPs apart from one another and when I enjoy writing with one person, I do not want to gatekeep my character as long as people are comfortable. I also do not like exclusive ship or hang up a sign who I ship with. I feel comfortable with dynamics and people and everyone writes their characters beautifully different.

⠀ ⠀ARE YOU SHIP - OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE - OR - LESS? Ship less to not at all.

⠀ ⠀WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM(S) ? I don't have one. I do not really ship. But let's go with Storm and Craig. Also something with Doom. I love him.

⠀ ⠀FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU? When writing with me long enough or our characters have a dynamic and I feel comfortable with you, we can talk about it. Also goofing around and joking can eventually lead to things. But again, I am super selective or do not do it 'seriously'.

[joandfriedrich]

the March sisters as Greek goddesses? (Beth is Hestia and no one can change my mind)

You just combined of my favorite things together and I am stoked! Also, sorry it took a little while, I wanted to be as accurate as I could in my choices.

Marmee- I am adding her just because, and she would be Rhea, Goddess of the Female Fertility. She is also was the goddess of motherhood and femininity, and was the mother to the Olympians. Marmee has been considered one of literature's best mother figures and Rhea seems to be the best match for her.

Meg- My instinct is to go to Hera, Goddess of Marriage and Women. Meg embraced her femininity, had longed to be married and have children, and actually wanted it from an early age compared to her sisters who never married (Beth), didn't want to (Jo), or marry for wrong reasons (Amy).

Jo- I am sure many people would say ether Athena or Artemis (mostly, I am sure due to their statuses of being unmarried/virgin goddesses) but really, she is closer to Calliope, Muse of Epic Poetry. According to Hesiod, she was the leader of the muses, but also the most assertive, which that is certainly Jo, and her only offspring were two boys, Orpheus and Linus, much like Jo's only children were two boys, Rob and Teddy.

Beth- I agree with you 100%! For those that may not know, Hestia is Goddess of the Hearth, Family, and Home. She is said to be a pretty nice goddess, described as being pure and peaceful, and never married, which ties in my headcanon of Beth being aro-ace. There isn't too many myths about her, but it appeared that there wasn't a god or goddess in all of the Pantheon that had disliked her, which is very true with ho everyone viewed Beth.

Amy- This might be a shock to some people, but her goddess would be Athena, Goddess of Wisdom. As an adult, she displayed her newfound wisdom brilliantly especially to Laurie in Europe, which helped him avoid making a big mistake, and had greatly matured from her childhood into adulthood. Athena is also the goddess of Creativity and was known as a patroness of the arts, which fits the rather artistic Amy.

BONUS: THE MEN

Mr. March- After some digging, I thought that the best fit is Hymenaios, God of Marriage Ceremonies. Given that Mr. March is a pastor who had served as a pastor for his own daughters' weddings (Meg confirmed, and Jo headcanoned), it feels pretty apt that he'd be this god, though not much else is known about this god.

John- I was not expecting to pair John with Hermes, God of Travelers, but it works. Hermes' main job was a messenger for the gods and goddesses, but has also been said to be the first teacher to the mortals, teaching them letters, science, and how to use their intellect, which makes in a way, a tutor, just like one Mr. Brooke.

Friedrich- Admittedly, this one was the toughest one, but the one I choose was someone I least expected, Dionysus, God of Wine and Festivities. Friedrich has always been known to be a easy going and fun man, but just like the god, he was also incredibly kind and helpful to his fellow men. One of Dionysis' titles was known as the "protector of misfits" as he had been an outsider in the Pantheon, which is very similar to Friedrich being seen as an outsider due to being a German in America.

Laurie- This is another one that was super easy to think of, Apollo, God of Music. A little fun fact is that Apollo was also the god of prophecy, which I couldn't help but to think about that scene in the book where Laurie ponders over the idea of Jo resembling the thorny red rose and Amy the thorn-free white rose, certain that it must mean something, which in the end it did.

How do you guys think I did? Is there any other god or goddess you'd think could work?

[writerscafehub]

MEET THE BARISTA: Jen

@jen-with-a-pen

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

I would honestly rate my writing a solid 3½. I know that I have lots of room for improvement and growth– I've even seen growth from fic to fic or chapter to chapter and it makes me really proud to see how far I've come. 

2. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Personally, I think that my setting/world-building and “set direction” helps me stand out. In college I did screenwriting for a bit and that's how I kinda do my rough drafts, writing them in present tense and making sure I’m showing and not just telling. Also making sure my OCs or characters have special awareness of things and people around them. 

3. Are there any writers that inspire you?

SO MANY TO EVEN NAME GOOD LORD. When I was initially invited into discord servers, I was fangirling in my apartment with my cat over basically being in the same room as some of (what I consider to be) the best and biggest writers of the fandom that I had been reading for months prior. There are so many mutuals and people who inspire me, too many to name specifically, but I will say that Hope (aka pilotisms/whirlybirbs) is the one whose works really gave me the courage and motivation to start writing in the fandom for the first time. IWe’ve never talked, but I hope she knows I think about Vacant Mirrors religiously to this day.

4. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

It’s so hard picking between your children! I think it’s a close tie with FOXHUNT and FILTHY, IMPETUOUS SOULS but the latter probably takes the top spot atm. It’s been so well received, even more so than I could’ve ever imagined. I almost scrapped the entire thing and I’m so glad I decided against it.

5. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write and which do you find most difficult to write?

Bucky and Steve both come easiest to me. Finding a good flow for either of them depends on my mood and muse, but I gravitate towards one or the other 99% of the time. I'm terms of difficulties, trying to write OFCs or minor/background OCs is harder for me since they don’t have a “format” like pre-established characters do. 

6. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

Bucky. Bucky has always been my muse since Day 1 and most of my little notes or WIPs involve him in some way. Also writing settings in college or around college is a pattern I’ve noticed that, although I will never give up, I have been trying to do different time periods and not involve school since I’ve been out of it for a good two years at this point.

7. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about!

I've had this specific WIP idea/concept going on 2-3 years now and it's coming together… albeit incredibly fucking slowly. It takes place within the 6-9 months between Endgame and TFATWS and involves a lot of angst, healing, and melancholy. I've been including details from the Falcon and Winter Soldier comics along with Bucky’s healing journey through grief and PTSD, amongst other things. It's been in the works for too long, so who knows if it'll see the light of day? 

8. First fandom you ever wrote for?

One Direction. I was 11 and had unrestricted Internet access. I was unstoppable. (If anyone was on Miss Literati you’re a real one.)

9. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

Omegaverse, hands down. Also poly fics (stucky x reader, my beloved.) 

10. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

I cannot for the love of God do pregnancies, time travel, or fantasy. Just doesn't appeal to me whatsoever.

11. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

Probably the first time I wrote smut, which was my Ranch Hand!Bucky fic, Impressions on the Inside of Your Thigh. I wouldn’t necessarily call it wild, but to me it was/is!

12. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

Honestly? Stucky. There's something about the endless possibilities of their dynamic that makes lil ol bisexual me’s heart swell with happiness. The best thing is, they’re so versatile; you can have them be platonic or romantic and still bring out their unconditional love for one another. 

13. Do you listen to anything while you write?

If I really need to get into the mood of the specific story, then yes. Otherwise, I'll either have a Twitch VOD on for background noise or just put noise-canceling headphones on and zone in on the quiet. 

14. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

One shots! 

15. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!        

Literally every time I work on one. I’ve thought about one for Chains Around My Feet where it’s like a prologue leading up to the events in Chains, but it felt more appropriate to leave it as a one shot. FILTH, IMPETUOUS SOULS also gets a daydream sometimes about how their dynamic might be back at home base, the aftermath of the fic’s events, that sort of thing. 

16. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

Omegaverse. I’m slowly working up the courage, but I just don’t feel like I’m ready yet. There’s also another WIP that I had started for Whumptober 2023, but it was just too intense that I scared myself out of finishing it and posting it. HTP is definitely not for the weak of heart and mind.

17. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

There are legit so so many lovely ones, but I think one that stands out at the moment was when I wrote the weight and someone said something among the lines of “I don’t really read Stucky a lot but this just convinced me to read more” and that felt like such an accomplishment to me.

18. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Chains Around My Feet was my first Whumptober work and was definitely something I had never done before. I actually was pretty impressed with myself on how well (in my own opinion) I was able to write horror/whump with a Dead Dove ending. Pretty proud of it still. 

19. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

Merciless Angst!

20. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

Not that I can really think of. If an OC counts as an x reader? Then the Reader I came up with for my years-long WIP. 

21. If you could enter the universe of any one of your fics, which would it be and why?

Honeysuckle, hands down. Living and working in Avengers Tower, adventuring in NYC, enjoying the sunsets, all while doing it with the Bucky Barnes? Yes. Fucking. Please.

22. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

When I write, the scenes play out in my head like a literal movie. I see it as scripting everything out and then running through and editing scenes, and then when everything is done, it plays out like a fully fleshed out film. It’s both a blessing yet a curse, but it’s so integral to my process.

23. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

From FILTHY, IMPETUOUS SOULS:

He scoffed a laugh. “You weren’t exactly on my list of things t’do.”

“Well I hope I’m a top priority, now.”

“Number fuckin’ one.”

24. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I wish I could stop time and just sit down for a week and get my WIPs started and edited and DONE. I’m entering my busy travel season for work and don’t have nearly as much time and energy as I did like a month or two ago. I miss it. I miss my muse, I miss being able to sit down and spend time fleshing out all these ideas in my head. The other side of it is lack of engagement (mutuals you’re okay i promise) and lack of feedback. Like yeah, kudos and likes are okay, but whenever I get a reblog– one that isn’t from a minor or bot account– I get so happy. When I get a comment, it’s like striking gold. I just wish that the passive consumption and aggressive demand for our work would die down and readers would take the time to even share our stuff. It’s disheartening to see your favorite authors cease writing because what’s the point anymore, ya know? Anyways, SUPPORT YOUR WRITERS!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

vague musing theme re: deh in evan and the Mom & Son theme and evan taking on responsibility for how his own mom feels, and then also connor's. irreconcilable tension in deh, as in life, with [the family unit, at its smallest: a Parent & Child unit] inevitably needing to be validated via supporting whatever conclusion we get (and the conclusion support it in turn) versus whether, actually, that not only Can be enough but Must be enough, b/c of how it cannot be denied, that is: rejected

we have Parallel Moms in the first song, it's a relevant difference that the murphys are relatively rich & the hansens relatively poor, but the Primary effect of this difference being heidi's frequent absence at home due to working, vs. the lack of such financial pressures resulting in cynthia being....stuck at home and trying to figure out anything in life Through her role as Stay At Home Mom, whilest she also Isn't guaranteed more successful connection with her children (or husband, except that: he's Here, married to her) for that, as established already in that first song lol

evan right off the bat taking on the pressure of how his mom needs him to have a good year because also she needs to have a good year, and heidi talking about this in terms of things that evan needs to Do, like, he needs to Order Pizza*, he needs to be Making Friends & then Be Away Hanging Out With Them (*also i always consider how evan Could've avoided getting pizza to not spend the money? but nothing else (besides evan being conscious of financial woes & feeling pressure abt this more generally) really suggests this is the case, and i guess at any given point he has $20 to spare)....then referring to the Resolution of this relationship where suddenly heidi has a turning point offstage (like, offscreen lol) wherein now she can go "oh i didn't know you were Feeling like this" versus like. that the conflict the rest of the time is with her own feelings, of course, and evan's Behavior. wherein she doesn't really mind the bare facts that he's dealing with anxiety, has prescriptions & therapy about it, but she Has minded about the things he needs to Be Able To Do (specifically on his own, mind you) and what's important to Do to get there (despite the letters sure not seeming to help, and then like, never officially being written again. does he still go to therapy appts?)....and that she starts feeling rejected by him As His Mother, which is like, the main issue up until she reads thee letter via facebook and realizes [evan thinks he's failed heidi as her child, because of how he makes her feel (bad)]

that even when heidi refutes this, prior, it's not the answer when like, "you're the one good thing that ever happened to me" is also like about as much pressure as could be put on evan, The Answer here wouldn't necessarily be like "no don't worry, i don't reject you as my child, because of how you Don't make me feel bad / Disappointed"....cynthia illustrating this, though we have little sense of how connor felt, probably not like "i feel really secure b/c my mom definitely isn't disappointed or anything"....and then "sorry i can't give you more than that" from heidi as a followup is Effectively a shutdown to conversation b/c like, what can evan say to that, it's basically on par with something like a sarcastic "well sorry i'm not perfect / i guess i'm the worst parent ever" that's like yeah obviously nobody's perfect nobody's the Best Or Worst person ever, it's a dismissal. which i hardly think heidi's Trying to dismiss evan or anything, or is being disingenuous, but again like "i'm trying my best / i can't give you more than [my best, or your being the best thing in my life]" can't really serve as any kind of Concluding Remarks if the conclusion isn't just like "okay so we haven't reached a resolution but let's cut it out now"....it's fun how of course we can understand how then heidi would find it devastatingly hurtful for evan to be like "well it's not my fault other people can [give [me] more than that]" but it's also like welllll the only reason here it's Not true is because evan's (a) got his World Of Lies going on, which heidi doesn't know is part of this situation & (b) evan is looking for validation that he's Supported as a Child figure to the murphys in these pretty superficial ways lol as per the fantasy of the like ideal suburban untroubled nuclear family unit....cynthia's just Here, with time to cook, larry's just Here, with the willingness to impart his own interests onto evan, they don't know evan has [diagnosis: anxiety] going on, evan feels like he's making these parents feel Better and themselves validated as parents, via both his fiction about how connor was maybe happier than they know, and his performance about being this no-hassle no-problems no-friction child who's also just Here. unlike connor....like tbt like eh excise the part where evan does happen to be making things up to have gotten here, and like. is it so bad he stays at another family's house when his mom's out at work. would it be so [Bad poors] if the murphys paid for college for him. heidi clearly responding to this with a "sorry, our bootstraps, you know" reasoning but Really primarily rejecting it because she's thrown at the apparent realization that evan's Replacing her with the murphys, she's rejected as his Mother....as she makes explicit in the next scene, the I'm Your Mother & they're Not Your Family(tm) like. okay, and? again, she doesn't know evan Wasn't that secretly close to connor lol and part of the point of deh is these lies bleeding into truths from the start, and Why evan lies, which isn't just "b/c he's an evil sicko?" nor as an elaborate scheme to get at zoe though like, at this moment i'm trying to puzzle out what couldn't be improved by zoe Not being a murphy....

well anyways. the tension here being like "yeah when is One Person ever """"enough"""" for anyone else all on their own. why do we demand that happen" like How & Why. no single person could or should be Everything to someone else. we even see how like Two People really don't have the resources for their One Child together completely on their own, and why is it that it Should be whittled down and isolated as much as possible. wherein the costs of being a parent, one who is tasked with bringing up a child with as little external support as possible while also already getting little external support as an individual in the first place (which a spouse, again, One Person, is supposed to fulfill in any/all ways), is supposedly offset like "well the magic of parenthood will be (Should be. if you're a good enough parent (threat)) its own rewards....and btw the child is Yours. they're someone stuck in a house with you. you can have this fantasy about Who They'll Be and try to ensure they become that. sure you're in charge of them (a burden!) but also: you're in charge of them (you can be an authority figure in this one aspect of your life). you can Always have access to them no matter what, because of the fact that as soon as a child exists, you're Now & Forever Their Parent"....i'm your mother, they're not your family....how are cynthia's like Identity Crises that are expressed to her family through cooking resolved? well, so far as we know, they aren't, but hey she's not getting divorced. zoe implying that cynthia's problems are thanks to having nothing to do / not leaving the house, such that gee evan your mom's lucky she Has to work....while evan apparently feels like heidi at least in part is always going to work b/c she hates to be around him, since he's all like well i presume you're so Not Unhappy in being the Mother to my Child that that's why you're always at home, cooking every dinner....like, what happens there? does cynthia join a club? take up a hobby? is evan Right that it's chill being stuck at home if that household is happy (as is the "it's fine having women's lives be Staying At Home, if that household is good enough :)" ideal) like well not sure but the status update is: she's not getting divorced

anyways i'm arguing against the nuclear family including in its theoretical distillation of "well god a Parent & Child if that's the very best you can do" here lmao and uhh deh not so much since the mother & son aspect Must resolve, kind of like what's supposed to be required of the parent & child aspect irl. and not like i think it's terrible it Does resolve, or it shouldn't, in this Story, but it's a definite [shhhruggg] from me like yeah that's nice but like, what's evan have going for him besides "he doesn't think his mom hates him now" (better yeah) and "he has a customer service job" (like oh my god so sorry. is this supposed to be Better? like oh he can order pizzas now? idk we don't get enough detail. ppl just get a part time job like yeah it's fine. i also have part time schooling but i'm saying it's a year off?) and this is not disconnected from how i feel about the Evan Needs To Believe He Could Have The Theoretical Perfect Gf which has to be answered in the end by zoe like, yeah i Wish we could date without the history. alas....like, Huh. why is she saying this (a) as a character & (b) as the conclusion to this story? god knows, but not like we don't know the ideals of Romance are also considered keys to the success of the nuclear family, and are an interim goal even if you don't have the kids yet, or like a begrudged Alternate goal as the next most adjacent thing, being Single has to be as vulnerable as it is re: any material or emotional support as Needed, much less what is Wanted for any further fulfillment. down to destruct the nuclear family & romance in one fell swoop baby. pointing at the camera and deh you're first (this sentence is a joke, the previous one is humorous but fully in earnest. kind of like [jared & alana (especially alana re: the earnestness)])

anyways again this is all still vague lol just sure Noting how very relevant it is that evan is motivated by a sense of his responsibility in how he affects his mother's like overall emotional landscape. while heidi does derive / seek emotional support from evan. not like her kid can be Emotionally Irrelevant to her, or like there's no good & relevant way for evan to be aware of or interact with her feelings. or like all of this is saying the point i want to make is that heidi is terrible or something. the parent i'm firing out of a cannon & into the sun is larry though lol. like heidi, being a person, can be Imperfect, and have an imperfect relationship with anyone, including her son, and have feelings, and care about her role as a mother....and all this can Not be resolved by evan simply not hating her either, or by anything else All hinging on her son. like how idk how cynthia's gonna do better than she was even before she was a grieving parent when nothing's changed for her except that a manifestation of happier memories is i guess enough that her terrible marriage can be sustained lol. larry's arc starting out dismissive ending up dismissive, with some dismissiveness in between...an anti larry zone here for sure

meanwhile it's sure just Something that like, heidi transitions into this equivalent role with 2 of evan's Peers in good for you. other people having noted that heidi being previously Rejected & presumably also pretty much fully cut out of the life of her ex husband is playing into her feelings here: a relationship of hers with a Peer. just now as i type this being like hmm interesting to juxtapose this with [so big so small] moving Away from this perhaps by tapping into evan being like a very small child. while the murphy parents, again, find resolution in turn by remembering better times with also much younger than he was connor....aaand in both cases presumably less "difficult" children than when they're teens :I like i wouldn't have heidi Not be mad or anything, another whole point here is that i wouldn't expect nor demand deh to be like, issuing a Statement about "and everything you saw up here is a model of the ideal family experience okay," heidi can even feel petty about it or have whatever other reaction and of course she's gonna feel hurt but like when it comes to Good For You i'm like, alana's grievances? hell yes go off. jared's grievances? hell yes go off. heidi's grievances? yeah alright but actually i'm more so on evan's side on this one lol....even when this scene establishes a clear pattern of "evan is also being petty & hurtful to people on purpose with his remarks here as he lashes out at each of them as things come to a head and he's deflecting responsibility" like yeah. and i feel entirely sympathetic to jared and alana here and not Unsympathetic to heidi so much as there's very immediate limits to that and (a) i don't think shutting everything down Because We're Family / I'm Your Parent as a fallback to whatever you do To your kids or whatever you fail to do For them, is legitimate, positive, constructive, non coercive and (b) heidi does & has been looking too much to evan for emotional support. wherein, again, don't need to go "i guess it's b/c she's a terrible individual" when it's like, she lives in a society....what else Does she have? where else is she Supposed to get any & all emotional needs met outside the bounds of her household (family) and her role as a parent/mother?

which is not really unrelated to evan's situation out here wherein, where is He supposed to find support and get his needs met? he doesn't feel that [at home] is providing that, even with him at least in part blaming himself for that, b/c he's not a good enough child for his mother. he turns to school as an avenue for Friendship, and when alana doesn't singlehandedly fix his whole life with a Hi before homeroom, nor does jared, and btw connor wasn't gonna do that either even if the "again i'm sorry i pushed you" hadn't been [their interaction: gone to shit: 2], like uh oh once again One Person isn't being Everything by virtue of somehow the status of "friend" making everything inherently perfect, or, [making everything perfect] defining the status of "friend," see: For Forever. see: how in sincerely me you have jared & evan effectively discussing, by proxy & creative fiction & plausible deniability, the presence of Effort & Communication in a relationship, as well as pretty much laying out a mutual belief in / effort towards successfully Becoming the person you'd like to be through deciding on who that even is and then just like, trying to be them lol. a sentiment that could hardly be wholly dismissed, people having goals, inevitably changing so you may as well be trying to be growing, but that ofc they don't have the perfect ideas at 17 of who they wanna be, How to be that person, and they sure really don't have much support to draw on for whatever efforts, And this being driven too much by insecurity & self-loathing re: who they already are, no pressure from anyone around them....and evan of course ending up thinking well the only thing that could fix my life is Romance, a Gf. and then he's not only finding himself in a situation where he feels responsible for another mom's feelings (cynthia), and feels like how people can think of the concept of connor is how they can think about him, & As he's navigating those things he starts feeling like he's finding some of What He Needs, and he already felt like it was up to him alone to do that, so of course it all escalates / continues for the next like hour & a half....he Is isolated, they all are, and not just because like uh oh evan on that damn phone

and then idk it's like yeah heidi realizing evan was actually thinking She was gonna reject Him and she tells him she won't. and for some reason zoe has to crop up to reassure evan about his potential for romance in general; meanwhile she's doing fine b/c....her parents' marriage is doing better = they're going on dates = also how cynthia is doing okay? idk. and no status updates on the couple of peers who also had no friends, weren't dating anyone, and didn't really mention family except alana's grandmother having died and jared not telling his parents anything and then only mentioning them previously to basically avoid getting in trouble with them oh and also how they'll be gone for a weekend so he's inviting his boy best friend to hang out with him the whole time like HMM to all of that!!! like well i don't think deh is really Trying to reach the most Definitive Conclusions in its story & what it's exploring, and that's great b/c (a) yeah there's a lot going on in there! and (b) it sure doesn't lmao. and i would always be detached from & in disagreement with "idk but Nuclear Family & Nuclear Romance must be like, It, right" or "idk. just be more normal" lmao. where'd your gay little peers go for the past half hour. bring them back out here

anyways i said "vague" so that i didn't have to try to muster a thesis. like yeah just noting Evan Feeling Responsible For Moms' Feelings: His Own, & Connor's, as very relevant up to his mom reassuring him she can't Feel like rejecting him / doesn't hate him. evan making sure to Behave as conveniently as possible around the murphys, and around his mom as well; while what heidi tends to talk about is what evan can/should Do, including how he should be Trying to feel, and as ppl often notice she doesn't have great boundaries, and as i'm at least noting, does need validation from evan / puts her insecurity on him in turn where again up until so big so small she's worrying about him possibly rejecting her. though she does seem to be Over That upon realizing evan felt That Bad, actually, and like thank god yeah evan doesn't have dialogue about "yeah btw mom i will never disown you" lmao. can sure look at this as just like, well, some "doing the best with what one's got?" wherein uh oh we Don't have much support outside this household/family, so it's good to improve it....like yeah sure lol and would be good if it was good even if they did both have a zillion other important connections to turn to in their lives. again, let's destroy romance and the nuclear family. and a further improvement were if cynthia got a divorce and befriended heidi (awkward at first but idc. here: they meet at a social group for divorcees and go from there lmao)