#(dad.)

[butch-corvid]

i’m still a lesbian if it’s my dads cock btw :)))) i still have my gold star if the only cock i take is my fathers :)))) my cis girlfriend doesn’t have to know that i take breaks from eating cunt to throat dads cock after our dates :)))) i’m definitely gay no matter how many times i cum while he fucks me.

it’s statutory rape anyway, right? so it can’t count as sex? so i’m still a gold star, no matter how many times my dyke cunt stetches around dads dick?

[dinbeskarbaby]

Pov: Rex passes you in the hall way:

[artythebear]

I love him so fucking much

[daily-rikukingdomhearts]

[oliviaobr]

hi dad ❤️

[probayern]

hansi??

[wishfulsketching]

Silco and his terror of a daughter

[bumblingbabooshka]

Vulcan teen on Vulcan [tiktok] saying "I have just lost track of my father in the grocery store." The camera turns to show the viewers the grocery store in which almost every single older middle-aged man has a bowlcut and long robes. Camera turns back to show the teen's face which is expressionless and yet communicates all it needs to.

[valtsv]

stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle

[bookwyrminspiration]

I can behave normally around books

[kenapiece-main]

Can you believe I'm having to make this meme even after successfully finishing up taxes and applying to job

[twinliches]

my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.

it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.

it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords

[froody]

cis people will say “I found out I’m having a baby girl at my anatomy scan and I’m experiencing gender disappointment” but be mad when you say “who knows? maybe you’ll end up with a son anyway”

[blenselche]

well it finally happened

so my dad is almost 80, this man's been making Spirk content since Star Trek started airing basically

he never knew ao3 existed, he just thought people stopped writing fanfic when ff.net died, like it was a fad that had outgrown him or smth

he clicked an ao3 link in my pinned last night, realizing that they were in fact clickable

he's mad at me for not telling him earlier. "I don't have a lot of years left in me and there's so much to read"

he's gonna spend his whole retirement reading trek fanfic now jesus christ

[imagine-darksiders]

He a little confused but he's got spirit