#(cuddy is the best of them but she's not totally great)

[curiosityforstars]

Insanely funny to me how everyone who works at Princeton Plainsboro acts like House has held them at gun point at made them do the awful things they do. Like sure, he's pushed them towards being worse, he definitely brings out the worst in people, but they do have the option of saying no. Half the time, all he can really do is be more of an asshole. None of them want to admit that he just gives them an excuse to be awful, because then they'd just be admitting that all of them suck.

[all-pacas]

in houseswapped au, how do chase and cameron first meet and get... involved? were they fellows/residents together?

(also, you wrote fellow house wonderfully)

(i'm absolutely fascinated by the idea of fellow!house, btw. fellow house working for chase. just the way it totally reverses this dynamic and -- oof. so much)

I think houseswapped Chase and Cameron met in a very mundane way. Before Chase ends up in Diagnostics, he's probably working in the ICU or OR, and Cameron is hired to work in the ER; there's some natural overlap between the departments so they were acquainted, got to know one another better at some benefit or hospital mixer, and for a while it was all very… normal, right? They started dating, it was honestly going really well; they were serious, talking about moving in together, neither was thinking marriage yet but it was on the horizon (and, in classic what red flags camchase, both were terrified of the idea and so pretending not to think about it).

And then Chase had his accident.

And without House to diagnose and fix it, his recovery took a lot longer and he suffered permanent damage. And Cameron was all over it. Her motives were pure, she really was worried about Chase, he really did need the extra help and care, but a fairly lowkey relationship got very involved very fast, and it all absolutely imploded from there. Chase believed Cameron was both pitying him and using him as a project; Cameron believed Chase was pushing her away and resented her. (Both of them were correct.)

Foreman was seriously worried he was going to have to fire one or both of them, but luckily for him Cameron and Chase came out of the breakup determined to be super performative about how little they cared about the other one, and so fell into icy politeness/selective blindness/no we've never met, why? almost immediately. They've gotten really good at it. Chase has gone on dates with other ER doctors without Cameron cracking. Cameron gave a long speech about her Dead Husband at last year's oncology benefit and called him the love of her life and Chase donated money to the charity drive.

The team absolutely knows (House figured it out fast and gleefully told Wilson, who looped Cuddy in). House thinks it's great his boss is that ice cold around his ex and refuses to entertain any thoughts of Chase having Lingering Feelings because that would be Weak and so obviously he Doesn't; Cuddy thinks they're shockingly immature for their direct supervisors (but she's Invested in the drama); Wilson is mostly just sweating because his relationship with his long-term girlfriend is rapidly imploding and oh god what if that's him and Sam in a year???

(Meanwhile, Foreman tries his very best to never ever be in the same room as them at the same time.)

[umanta]

My impression of House is that he's like the American doctor version of Gordon Ramsey so. I'm just accusing both Anders and House of being doctors

luxflora asked: Anders as House?

asdkfsdkf okay so.

First, disclaimer: I'm on my second rewatch of house, season 2, and the last time I watched it was like ten years ago or more so.

Second, I'm so sorry you opened this can of worms because now I am Thinking about this and you get the brunt of it.

You're kind of right about him being the gordon ramsay of doctors. But he doesn't have the same kind of... compassion, maybe? He's not a shouty guy, but he is a major asshole. In the first season, its heavily stressed that House only takes patients he finds 'interesting' (aka challenging to diagnose).

(and honestly, that aspect of house makes me think that this won't be a great one-to-one translation. whoever takes on the role of house (probably hawke, bc main character) probably won't be as much of an ass)

BUT!!! there is a character who is a good doctor, cares about the patients, is criticized as being over compassionate, often makes slightly impulsive/risky choices when they think there's no other option:

Allison Cameron

(bonus: for at least the first few seasons she has a huge crush on the main character)

more thoughts on the DA2 characters in House setting below:

So, Hawke. House.

Making Hawke House is pretty obvious. Also their names are similar. But a major aspect of playing DA2 is how the events of the game impact and affect Hawke, and House is a little too detached for that.

But then we have oncologist James Wilson, House's best friend, and total sweetheart -- except when he's talking to House, when he is capable of being a huge asshole.

For me, the (emotional) focal point of House MD is House and Wilson's relationship. Workplace drama doesn't appeal to me bc I don't enjoy watching people make problems for each other when they're supposed to be working together (why am i watching this show at all? good question, idk either). So in a setting where none of the characters seem to actually... like? each other?? the friendship here is one of the only genuine emotions moments we get.

So if House-Wilson is the plot-unrelated center of the show, then in da2 terms... it's got to be Hawke and Varric.

I think Hawke still takes on Doctor House because, main character syndrome. A purple Hawke could mesh well with House's sarcasm; otherwise we're remixing house and wilson.

Now the team - Foreman, Cameron, and Chase. They work under hawke together but are generally competing and sniping at each other.

It's got to be Anders, Fenris, and Merrill. We've already agreed that Anders is Cameron, but I don't think the others really match up too well. Merrill has Chase's parent issues with Marethari, and is similar to Cameron in that people are quick to dismiss her as naive or overly optimistic. Fenris, I can't think of anything, but they don't have to replace the characters exactly.

I don't think Isabela would be a doctor. I'm not sure what she would be here... maybe she takes on Stacy's role, a lawyer working witht he hospital, without the ex-gf situation? I'd love for her to be like, a patient-turned-friend somehow. acquaintance to patient to friend. WAIT no she could totally be a hotshot lawyer who constantly bends the rules, who happened to have a one night stand with hawke some time ago. (she also 'knows' the HoF, a famous doctor who happens to be working on a cure to the Blight... so...)

Aveline is Cuddy -- she's the one trying to keep Hawke and Varric in check, trying to run the hospital, but it's convenient for her to turn a blind eye most of the time, so she does. Not above a little manipulation or blackmail if necessary.

Sebastian, I honestly think, is a billionaire-inheriting priest who meets the crew because his only surviving family is in the hospital (there's a whole bit of 'are you sure you don't want us to just kill them? we'll only take a small cut' 'NO!'), and then later stays on to be with people in their last moments. Very affable, but probably also says his specific faith prayers over any of the dying, even if they don't want it. (bc 'how could more prayers hurt?')

Elthina, Meredith, and Orsino are on the board of directors or whatever its called. Elthina is the CEO (owner? most powerful anyway). Meredith wants the hospital to be more profitable. Orsino wants to do more teaching/research but doesn't actually have enough power to do so? I'm realizing I have no idea about the admin structure of a hospital so I'll stop here.

[ramajmedia]

10 Sassy Quotes From House M.D. That Are Still Hilarious Today

For eight seasons, House M.D. was one of the strongest dramas on all of television, featuring a stellar ensemble cast including leading men Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard. But though the series was ostensibly a drama about damaged doctors and the patients they treat, the series also had a lot of biting humor in it, thanks in large part to Dr. Gregory House's sharp wit and total lack of a politeness filter.

RELATED: House MD: 5 Best (& 5 Worst) Relationships

Even over a decade after the series premiered, the series' humor still largely stands up. Though some jokes have aged poorly, with changing social beliefs and mores, much of House's own humor stands the test of time and remains truly hilarious to this very day. Here, we've recapped just 10 of the best examples of the jokes we're still laughing at after all these years.

10 "I'm sorry. I'm about to lose you because I'm about to drive into a tunnel in a canyon on an airplane while hanging up the phone."

Dr. Gregory House isn't exactly known for having the best bedside manner in the history of television doctors. If any potential patient is known to mildly inconvenience him in any way, his rude and short-tempered personality rears its head and usually gets him in trouble.

Take, for example, when an elderly man portrayed by Carl Reiner is told to consult with him regarding an ongoing medical issue. After the patient is given House's phone number to contact him at any time, House's patience immediately wears thin, leading him to hang up on the old man in spectacularly rude fashion.

9 "There's no 'I' in team. There's a 'me' though, if you jumble it up."

House isn't exactly known as being a real team player, either. Despite having a team of qualified medical professionals under his guidance for the entire series, even though the team changes a few times over the course of the series' run, House often does what he wants, regardless of what his subordinates or superiors think.

This behavior is evident as early as the series' first few episodes, including during a charged confrontation with his superior Dr. Cuddy in which she reminds him, time and again, that his team's participation in consultations is essential. His above response perfectly summarizes his feelings on the matter.

8 "There is not a thin line between love and hate. There is in fact a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20 feet between love and hate."

The back and forth love story between House and Cuddy was one that the series stretched out for entirely too long. Regardless of whether you rooted for these two, there's no denying that fact. But there's also no denying that their drawn-out rapport led to some moments of great humor, particularly between House and his best friend, Dr. James Wilson.

RELATED: The Ellen DeGeneres Show: 10 Hilarious Guest Star Quotes That Are Too Funny For Words

In the series' third episode, Wilson tries to confront House about the nature of his feelings for Cuddy. But before Wilson can get in the real questions he wants to ask, House offers this pitch-perfect sarcastic response.

7 "I cared for eight seconds, then I got distracted."

House likes to act like he never cares about anything or anyone because it's easier for him to live that way and not have to fear being hurt by anyone. House likes to be in control of everything in his life, even the tiniest things he clearly has no control over.

RELATED: MBTI® Of House MD Characters

In the sixth season episode, "Baggage," House is reunited with Alvie, his friend from his stay in a psychiatric ward portrayed by Lin-Manuel Miranda. During the episode, Alvie is scheduled to have a court hearing regarding his citizenship, and House, discussing this matter with his own therapist, simply deflects that "I cared for eight seconds [about Alvie], then I got distracted."

6 "Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?"

As we've just explored, House likes to live his life in a way that allows him to care about as few people at any given time as possible. One of the people he pretends not to care about for as long as he can is Dr. Cuddy, for whom he harbors long unrequited and eventually briefly requited feelings.

Many of their earliest interactions, therefore, find House being unnecessarily cruel to Cuddy as a way of deflecting his true feelings and keeping himself at a safe distance from her, including in the second season episode "Humpty Dumpty" when he icily asks her the above question regarding a patient she is close with.

5 "What's the opposite of 'thank you'? I'm pretty sure it ends in 'you.'"

Sometimes, House gives voice to the kind of brutally honest and snarky remarks that we all wish we had the bravery to say. He never expresses any kind of filter, no matter who is present at the time, and he somehow always knows exactly what to say to get his point across, no matter how savage it might be.

In the eighth season episode "Blowing the Whistle," House masterfully tells off his new team of subordinates in a way that is totally cheeky, and a perfect way for the series to get a clear swear word laden remark past the censors.

4 "Well, as the philosopher Jagger once said, 'You can't always get what you want.'"

The Rolling Stones are a recurring theme in the entire series of House, as their songs pop up frequently in key moments and crucial episodes alike. The song "You Can't Always Get What You Want" is one that appears in references and uses multiple times, and it perfectly encapsulates House's beliefs on life.

As early as the pilot episode, House is stating his world view when he references the so-called "philosopher Jagger" who gave voice to his own sarcastic and jaded worldview.

3 "He did however just get hit by a bullet. Just mentioning." "He was shot?" "No, somebody threw it at him."

One of the series' best episodes is the season two two-parter "Euphoria," which finds the medical team rallying together to save the life of one of their own after Foreman is afflicted with a mysterious illness. The two episode arc starts with a different case, however, after a police officer winds up in the hospital from a gunshot wound, only to present with the same mystery illness that Foreman eventually catches.

RELATED: 10 Best Friends Guests Stars, Ranked

During the initial debrief of the case with his team, House is given the perfect opportunity for one of his snarkiest remarks of all after Cameron, clearly missing the point, asks a needless question regarding the patient's current state.

2 "I'm gonna pretend to go to work now."

House likes to avoid difficult emotions whenever he can, as we've already discussed. But he also relishes in taking the childish way out of difficult conversations, often to greatly hilarious effect.

In the sixth season episode "Remorse," House gets into an argument with Wilson about his inability to apologize to Cuddy for some of his latest cruel behavior. But rather than engage in a meaningful conversation, House tells Wilson plainly, "I'm gonna pretend to go to work now," before comically and loudly typing on his computer keyboard and making typewriter noises.

1 "I've heard your name." "Most people have. It's also a noun."

Sometimes, the opportunities present themselves for the perfect time to make a pun, and you just can't resist them. House finds himself in one of those all too perfect to resist scenarios when a hospital inspector arrives in the series' fourth season.

Clearly having real fun with the man from the moment they meet, House is presented with the opportunity to humiliate him in public pretty quickly. After the inspector tells House that he's heard of him before, by saying "I've heard your name," House simply can't resist, totally embarrassing the man when he retorts, "Most people have. It's also a noun."

NEXT: 5 Ways Friends Has Aged Poorly (& 5 Ways It's Timeless)

source https://screenrant.com/sassy-quotes-house-md-hilarious-today-tv-show/

[didsbumeare-blog]

Dating rules collapse with text messaging

Online Dating Edge: The Rules of Text Messaging According to social psychologist Amy Cuddy, practicing confident, powerful stances can actually improve self-esteem.  This is the most important rule.  I have noticed over past 3-4 years even females have been more aggressive in pursuit.  Here on the Tatango blog, we usually talk about how to market your business through text messaging.  This sounds like a premise for a sci-fi movie about how a once advanced culture fell because technology dumbed them down to the point of extinction.  Use nicknames One way to really begin building a connection with someone is to give them a new nickname.

10 Text Messaging Rules for Dating Any guy who looks for quality makes a note of that, so keeping it reciprocal maintains a feeling of suspense and challenge.  By you allow them to get to know the full you—not just the parts you feel keen to show.  Serious more important conversations are best had in person or on the phone.  However, what I see a lot of — is a couple out on a date and each of them talking on their cell phone or texting someone else! The worst downfalls in text communication come with people that you know well enough to speak with but not well enough to pick up the phone and chat with.  The best usage of the post-first-date text is its perceived innocence.

Texting Etiquette In the Dating Phase, Do's and Don'ts It has become more common nowadays for men to ask to split the check on a first date.  Texting has a place, up to a point.  Or did you just cutely give it to him after chatting at the coffee shop at the public library? Can anyone explain what the heck if going on? Dating text messages for him Also explained that later, so, ghosting also, okcupid.  You need to make sure you are conveying the actual attitude you want the other person to get.  Gen Y Gregory, I haven't been around much because two weeks ago I finished my PhD.  For more texting tips from Claudia, check out! As you surely know very well, most of them are glued to their phones day and night, and they are in constant contact with their friends.

Text messages dating Thanks to the internet and , we can now connect with people that we may never have crossed paths with otherwise.  Check out these six common texting mistakes that can kill any new relationship.  There are so many things that can go wrong with bad spelling and bad grammar.  That is way below normal for teenagers haha.  Do you use it more than email? Interested in Laura's services or products? These usually get a good laugh when you forward them to women.  If you send a text and don't get a reply for a while, don't panic.  Break through the barriers of the modern dating world by booking a with me today.

BC Then, there's the whole process of trying to craft yet another perfect message.  If you like her, you should enjoy hearing her voice.  But being hard to get is definitely a game and I think it totally depends on the type of person you are.  A lot of these rules are generated by society and pop culture, and dictate how we converse with one another.  By 28 years old, 35, 43, now by then, they have developed this social skills and have a better idea of who they are and are confident and self-assured in who they are.

Expert Dating Tip for Single Women This also allows to girl to be more comfortable before they meet with me again.  She may be a little hesitant or nervous about meeting the first time.  Anyways, in my opinion texting can be a great communication tool but it has its limits and should not be used as a substitute for a real conversation.  Other times, we both maintained a text conversation that builds a cool excitement in the days leading up to the first date.  You teach people how to treat you.  Texting before the first date can be tricky or helpful, depending on how you play it.

Free online dating uk singles I was insulted, and told him so.  Waiting for them to approach you is no more significant than if you were to approach first.  This way our time together feels less predictable.  Over creative online dating text messages while.  In person, that would have elicited a full-on laugh.  Also, feel free to send the same text opener to multiple people at the same time! Anyway, I deduced and confirmed that he got his girlfriend back hence the constant texting.  Find ways to be confident and happy with yourself whether or not you are romantically linked to someone.

Expert Dating Tip for Single Women Five guys, ages 20 — 30, opened up about what goes through their minds before they hit send.  Dating divas text messages Also known as much as needy.  As witty and interesting as your texting banter might be and as tempting as it might be to continue it throughout the day, you must know when to stop and attend to the other things that you do with undivided attention.  This makes you appear laid back and easy-going.  Am I too old fashioned for preferring a live voice? So may the receiver of your texts.

10 Text Messaging Rules for Dating Everyone says communication is the key to building and maintaining positive relationships.  That is, of course, if you want to stay friends with the person.  As a guy, make sure the interaction ends with her sending the final text.  Be organic, have fun, and make sure that you and the other person are comfortable with the whole thing.  Keep it thoughtful — If you were thinking about him, let him know.

Guys Reveal How Their Texting Habits Change When They Like You There are many ways you can be passive-aggressive through text, and it can frustrate the other person.  Sure, we can make plans with our buddies or even avoid meetings with our , but when text messaging begins to dictate the finicky boundaries of love and lust, certain rules apply.  Most of the panelists said yes, by accident — or yes, to not come off as eager.  My wife and I spoke at a singles group once about dating because the new trends and cultural changes have blurred the roles of men and women to the point that no one knows what their part is anymore.  Here are the clues you can look out for which sound an awful lot like what we do, too : He loves the constant communication.

[travisandersondatingblog]

How to Seduce Men With Body Language: 12 Perfect Seduction Tips

Women the world ’round have long yearned to know how to seduce men with body language.  If you’re like them, you want one man in particular to know that you lust after him…but maybe don’t have the courage to say so out loud. 

So you let your body do the talking.

Learning how to seduce men with body language may take some practice!

There are tons of ways to use body language to communicate your desire, but today we’ll cover just 12:

1. Use Your Smile to Seduce Him 2. Aim Your Belly Button at Him 3. Touch Him. But Not Too Much 4. Avoid Crossing Your Arms To Seduce With Your Body 5. Use a Power Pose to Improve Seductive Body Language 6. Lock Eyes With Him…Then Lower Your Eyelids 7. Make the Most of Your Lips 8. Play With Your Hair To Attract Him 9. Show Him Your Interest Using Facial Expressions 10. Lean In Toward Him to Make Him More Attracted to You 11. Wear Clothes That Make You Feel Your Best 12. Live in the Moment

Understanding the Value of Nonverbal Communication

You have no problem flirting with the object of your affections, but when it comes to saying, “hey, I find you incredibly hot. Would you like to hop in the sack?” well, frankly the idea petrifies you.

Body language, it turns out, makes up the bulk of how we communicate. While it’s debated among experts, many believe this is the breakdown of how we communicate:

Body language: 55%

Tone of voice: 38%

Words spoken: 7%

So if you can’t find the words to tell a man you want him, you should learn how to seduce men with body language!

So…What is Body Language?

Maybe you’re not familiar with how you can use your body to tell a man something, so let’s cover that here.

Obviously, body language involves your body communicating through signals. You can communicate that you’re secure/insecure, attracted/repulsed, happy/annoyed all with how you position your body. It’s often easier to think out what you plan to say through words than it is body language because most of the time we don’t even realize we are saying something with how our arms are placed, for example.

Think about it. The last time you were around someone you didn’t like, did you cross your arms? Maybe tap your foot impatiently? Whether you realized it or not, you were communicating that you didn’t want to be there talking to her.

Now think about how you are around the man you’re interested in. Maybe you lean in when he talks or even mirror his actions. Your body knows you’re totally into him, and it wants a chance to speak up!

The key to learning how to seduce men with body language is being able to control and leverage certain positions to communicate your intent.

12 Tips on How to Seduce Men With Body Language

I promised you tips, so get your notebook ready to take notes! I guarantee that if you try any of these, he will pick up on your interest. What you do from there? Well, that’s entirely on you!

1. Use Your Smile to Seduce Him

You’ve got a great smile; use it!

We all know that the smile is powerful. But how you smile matters. Make sure you’re giving him what scientists call a Duchenne smile, which is genuine and involves the eyes, rather than a Pan Am smile, which is the false smile we often see on flight attendants who are less than thrilled to bring us another pillow on a flight. When your smile is real, he knows that you’re happy being with him.

You can also give him a sexy smile that says, “I’m thinking about what being in bed with you would be like.”

2. Aim Your Belly Button at Him

Say whaaa? Yes, ladies, your belly button can communicate that you’re into a guy.

Chris Ulrich, senior instructor at the Body Language Institute, says that pointing your belly button in the direction of the person you’re talking to can indicate that you like and trust him. Even if your head is turned another way, aim your body so that your belly button has a center “view” of this guy.

3. Touch Him…But Not Too Much

Consider two women:

Veronica: constantly rubs Brad’s chest, running her red fingernails up and down his biceps.

Samantha: touches his arm once or twice on a date. Brushes her knee against his “accidentally” under the table.

While Veronica is sending signals that in no uncertain terms she wants to ravage Brad, Samantha takes a more subtle approach. She wants him just as much, but she has the decorum to communicate this tastefully.

4. Avoid Crossing Your Arms

via GIPHY

This is one of those signals you want to avoid when learning how to seduce men with body language because crossing your arms can indicate that you’re not interested or that you’re disconnected from the situation. It can also say that you’re feeling insecure.

President Trump’s own body language has been scrutinized, and when he crosses his arms, people take notice…not for the better.

If you find yourself crossing your arms (even if you’re not feeling any of the things I said it communicates), simply uncross them and lean in toward the man you’re with.

5. Strike a Power Pose to Improve Seductive Body Language

Amy Cuddy made the power pose trendy a few years ago with her TED Talk and then book, Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. She conducted a study where subjects took either high-power or low-power poses. Those in high-power poses (think: hands on hips like Wonder Woman) felt more confident and performed better in tasks.

You can apply this to your own strategy on how to seduce men with body language; standing with your legs spread, your shoulders back, and your hands on your hips will make you feel like a million bucks, and that will be communicated to him!

6. Lock Eyes with Him…Then Lower Your Eyelids

I’ve told you before how powerful eye contact is in learning how to seduce men with body language. Think about how normally if you’re talking to someone (a cashier, your mom, a neighbor), you’ll make eye contact for a minute, then look away. That’s normal.

But when you’re into someone, staring deeply into their eyes can be intense. All kinds of emotions are communicated…and some of those will be based on sexual attraction.

So don’t be shy about locking eyes and having a flirty little staring contest.

But after that…try lowering them for a bit and slightly parting your lips. This is another sexy move that lets him know the temperature is rising around you two. It can indicate sexual submissiveness, and of course, it’s the expression many women have right before having an orgasm, so it’ll put him in a sexy frame of mind!

7.  Make the Most of Your Lips

Your lips can do more than speak your attraction.

Another versatile tool when it comes to how to seduce men with body language is your lips. There are so many things you can do with them! 

Start with the color. Bold colors tend to get more attention, and red is known to communicate passion. But if you’re not comfortable rocking the red, try a deep berry. Really, you should just be comfortable with whatever color you choose.

Next, consider what to do with your lips. Biting your lower lip is incredibly sexy to men, so try that a few times (combined with that eyelid lowering!). You can also slowly lick your lips and smile at him.

8. Play With Your Hair To Attract Him

Your hair is another great seduction asset; there are a million ways to play with it to get a man’s attention.

Pull it all over one shoulder

Toss it back

Twirl a curl around your finger

Put it up in front of him

Just don’t overdo it with the hair! Pick one or two tactics, but don’t go overboard.

9. Show Him Your Interest Using Facial Expressions

Did you know we make about 25,000 facial expressions a day? Our faces are much more expressive and communicative than our voices ever could be. So use your face to tell him what’s on your mind.

Start by simply showing that you’re paying attention to what he’s saying. Nod occasionally while he talks.

Tilt your head to one side. This reveals your most vulnerable spot: your neck. It communicates that you trust him (even if he’s a vampire!).

You can also mirror his expressions. If he smiles, smile back. If he furrows his brow, do the same.

10. Lean In Toward Him to Make Him More Attracted to You

Leaning toward him indicates your interest.

When you lean in toward a man, he feels like you’re engaged and interested in him. If you lean away, it shows disinterest.

So when he’s talking, lean forward just a few inches. It’s a subconscious signal that will make him all the more attracted to you.

11. Wear Clothes That Make You Feel Your Best

The best tip I can give for how to seduce men with body language is to simply be comfortable with your approach. If flipping your hair isn’t something you’d normally do, then don’t do it. The same goes with the clothes you wear on a date. You absolutely do not have to wear tight and revealing clothing to get the guy.

In fact, most men find a woman who leaves a little mystery in what she’s wearing all the more intriguing (“what’s happening underneath those clothes?”). Sure, form-fitting clothing, a tiny bit of cleavage, or a dress that shows off your legs will be appreciated, but you need to be comfortable with what you’re wearing.

Go to your closet right now. I’ll wait. Now find the outfits that you feel fabulous in. That might include a t-shirt, jeans, skirt, dress, whatever. These are the things you should wear on a date because they already help you feel more confident. Tight-fitting or too low-cut clothes, on the other hand, will just have you adjusting them all night and wishing you hadn’t worn them.

It’s more important that you’re confident in what you wear than that you appeal to what you think men will like. Confidence, as I’ve said numerous times, is crazy sexy!

12. Live in the Moment

I don’t want to overwhelm you with these tips on how to seduce men with body language to the point that you feel you need a script to go on a date! These are just suggestions, and I fully encourage you to come up with your own ways to communicate how you’re feeling. Again, when you’re confident, regardless of what you do, you’ll easily seduce any man.

You might be on a date and find that he really responds well to you teasing him, so go with it. Or he might take the lead with the flirting. You can never plan ahead of time how a date will go, or how a given man will respond to your sexy strategies, so pay attention to his feedback and modify accordingly.

Conclusion:

Every woman will have a different approach to how to seduce men with body language. Your best friend might be great at seducing them on the dance floor, but you’ve got two left feet, so that doesn’t work for you. Instead, you use your wit.

Whatever you’ve got, own it. Work with it. Because the right man will be attracted to your unique blend of youness. So be authentic, and find the seduction techniques that get you the best results.

I also encourage you to know what you want before you try to seduce a man. Are you ready to have sex with him, or are you just looking for a little attention? Realize that some of the tips I outlined above will communicate to him that you are ready to get intimate, so be sure that you’re ready for that step before trying these strategies out. If you’re just starting to date a man and really want him to commit, maybe save these tips for later once you know each other better.

Let’s hear from our community! What ways have you found to work when it comes to how to seduce men with body language? Leave a comment below.

Flirting is a big part of how to seduce men with body language. If you need a refresher or tips, check out The Flirting Workshop.

The post How to Seduce Men With Body Language: 12 Perfect Seduction Tips appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

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[fayecallasdatingblog]

How to Seduce Men With Body Language: 12 Perfect Seduction Tips

Women the world ’round have long yearned to know how to seduce men with body language.  If you’re like them, you want one man in particular to know that you lust after him…but maybe don’t have the courage to say so out loud. 

So you let your body do the talking.

Learning how to seduce men with body language may take some practice!

There are tons of ways to use body language to communicate your desire, but today we’ll cover just 12:

1. Use Your Smile to Seduce Him 2. Aim Your Belly Button at Him 3. Touch Him. But Not Too Much 4. Avoid Crossing Your Arms To Seduce With Your Body 5. Use a Power Pose to Improve Seductive Body Language 6. Lock Eyes With Him…Then Lower Your Eyelids 7. Make the Most of Your Lips 8. Play With Your Hair To Attract Him 9. Show Him Your Interest Using Facial Expressions 10. Lean In Toward Him to Make Him More Attracted to You 11. Wear Clothes That Make You Feel Your Best 12. Live in the Moment

Understanding the Value of Nonverbal Communication

You have no problem flirting with the object of your affections, but when it comes to saying, “hey, I find you incredibly hot. Would you like to hop in the sack?” well, frankly the idea petrifies you.

Body language, it turns out, makes up the bulk of how we communicate. While it’s debated among experts, many believe this is the breakdown of how we communicate:

Body language: 55%

Tone of voice: 38%

Words spoken: 7%

So if you can’t find the words to tell a man you want him, you should learn how to seduce men with body language!

So…What is Body Language?

Maybe you’re not familiar with how you can use your body to tell a man something, so let’s cover that here.

Obviously, body language involves your body communicating through signals. You can communicate that you’re secure/insecure, attracted/repulsed, happy/annoyed all with how you position your body. It’s often easier to think out what you plan to say through words than it is body language because most of the time we don’t even realize we are saying something with how our arms are placed, for example.

Think about it. The last time you were around someone you didn’t like, did you cross your arms? Maybe tap your foot impatiently? Whether you realized it or not, you were communicating that you didn’t want to be there talking to her.

Now think about how you are around the man you’re interested in. Maybe you lean in when he talks or even mirror his actions. Your body knows you’re totally into him, and it wants a chance to speak up!

The key to learning how to seduce men with body language is being able to control and leverage certain positions to communicate your intent.

12 Tips on How to Seduce Men With Body Language

I promised you tips, so get your notebook ready to take notes! I guarantee that if you try any of these, he will pick up on your interest. What you do from there? Well, that’s entirely on you!

1. Use Your Smile to Seduce Him

You’ve got a great smile; use it!

We all know that the smile is powerful. But how you smile matters. Make sure you’re giving him what scientists call a Duchenne smile, which is genuine and involves the eyes, rather than a Pan Am smile, which is the false smile we often see on flight attendants who are less than thrilled to bring us another pillow on a flight. When your smile is real, he knows that you’re happy being with him.

You can also give him a sexy smile that says, “I’m thinking about what being in bed with you would be like.”

2. Aim Your Belly Button at Him

Say whaaa? Yes, ladies, your belly button can communicate that you’re into a guy.

Chris Ulrich, senior instructor at the Body Language Institute, says that pointing your belly button in the direction of the person you’re talking to can indicate that you like and trust him. Even if your head is turned another way, aim your body so that your belly button has a center “view” of this guy.

3. Touch Him…But Not Too Much

Consider two women:

Veronica: constantly rubs Brad’s chest, running her red fingernails up and down his biceps.

Samantha: touches his arm once or twice on a date. Brushes her knee against his “accidentally” under the table.

While Veronica is sending signals that in no uncertain terms she wants to ravage Brad, Samantha takes a more subtle approach. She wants him just as much, but she has the decorum to communicate this tastefully.

4. Avoid Crossing Your Arms

via GIPHY

This is one of those signals you want to avoid when learning how to seduce men with body language because crossing your arms can indicate that you’re not interested or that you’re disconnected from the situation. It can also say that you’re feeling insecure.

President Trump’s own body language has been scrutinized, and when he crosses his arms, people take notice…not for the better.

If you find yourself crossing your arms (even if you’re not feeling any of the things I said it communicates), simply uncross them and lean in toward the man you’re with.

5. Strike a Power Pose to Improve Seductive Body Language

Amy Cuddy made the power pose trendy a few years ago with her TED Talk and then book, Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. She conducted a study where subjects took either high-power or low-power poses. Those in high-power poses (think: hands on hips like Wonder Woman) felt more confident and performed better in tasks.

You can apply this to your own strategy on how to seduce men with body language; standing with your legs spread, your shoulders back, and your hands on your hips will make you feel like a million bucks, and that will be communicated to him!

6. Lock Eyes with Him…Then Lower Your Eyelids

I’ve told you before how powerful eye contact is in learning how to seduce men with body language. Think about how normally if you’re talking to someone (a cashier, your mom, a neighbor), you’ll make eye contact for a minute, then look away. That’s normal.

But when you’re into someone, staring deeply into their eyes can be intense. All kinds of emotions are communicated…and some of those will be based on sexual attraction.

So don’t be shy about locking eyes and having a flirty little staring contest.

But after that…try lowering them for a bit and slightly parting your lips. This is another sexy move that lets him know the temperature is rising around you two. It can indicate sexual submissiveness, and of course, it’s the expression many women have right before having an orgasm, so it’ll put him in a sexy frame of mind!

7.  Make the Most of Your Lips

Your lips can do more than speak your attraction.

Another versatile tool when it comes to how to seduce men with body language is your lips. There are so many things you can do with them! 

Start with the color. Bold colors tend to get more attention, and red is known to communicate passion. But if you’re not comfortable rocking the red, try a deep berry. Really, you should just be comfortable with whatever color you choose.

Next, consider what to do with your lips. Biting your lower lip is incredibly sexy to men, so try that a few times (combined with that eyelid lowering!). You can also slowly lick your lips and smile at him.

8. Play With Your Hair To Attract Him

Your hair is another great seduction asset; there are a million ways to play with it to get a man’s attention.

Pull it all over one shoulder

Toss it back

Twirl a curl around your finger

Put it up in front of him

Just don’t overdo it with the hair! Pick one or two tactics, but don’t go overboard.

9. Show Him Your Interest Using Facial Expressions

Did you know we make about 25,000 facial expressions a day? Our faces are much more expressive and communicative than our voices ever could be. So use your face to tell him what’s on your mind.

Start by simply showing that you’re paying attention to what he’s saying. Nod occasionally while he talks.

Tilt your head to one side. This reveals your most vulnerable spot: your neck. It communicates that you trust him (even if he’s a vampire!).

You can also mirror his expressions. If he smiles, smile back. If he furrows his brow, do the same.

10. Lean In Toward Him to Make Him More Attracted to You

Leaning toward him indicates your interest.

When you lean in toward a man, he feels like you’re engaged and interested in him. If you lean away, it shows disinterest.

So when he’s talking, lean forward just a few inches. It’s a subconscious signal that will make him all the more attracted to you.

11. Wear Clothes That Make You Feel Your Best

The best tip I can give for how to seduce men with body language is to simply be comfortable with your approach. If flipping your hair isn’t something you’d normally do, then don’t do it. The same goes with the clothes you wear on a date. You absolutely do not have to wear tight and revealing clothing to get the guy.

In fact, most men find a woman who leaves a little mystery in what she’s wearing all the more intriguing (“what’s happening underneath those clothes?”). Sure, form-fitting clothing, a tiny bit of cleavage, or a dress that shows off your legs will be appreciated, but you need to be comfortable with what you’re wearing.

Go to your closet right now. I’ll wait. Now find the outfits that you feel fabulous in. That might include a t-shirt, jeans, skirt, dress, whatever. These are the things you should wear on a date because they already help you feel more confident. Tight-fitting or too low-cut clothes, on the other hand, will just have you adjusting them all night and wishing you hadn’t worn them.

It’s more important that you’re confident in what you wear than that you appeal to what you think men will like. Confidence, as I’ve said numerous times, is crazy sexy!

12. Live in the Moment

I don’t want to overwhelm you with these tips on how to seduce men with body language to the point that you feel you need a script to go on a date! These are just suggestions, and I fully encourage you to come up with your own ways to communicate how you’re feeling. Again, when you’re confident, regardless of what you do, you’ll easily seduce any man.

You might be on a date and find that he really responds well to you teasing him, so go with it. Or he might take the lead with the flirting. You can never plan ahead of time how a date will go, or how a given man will respond to your sexy strategies, so pay attention to his feedback and modify accordingly.

Conclusion:

Every woman will have a different approach to how to seduce men with body language. Your best friend might be great at seducing them on the dance floor, but you’ve got two left feet, so that doesn’t work for you. Instead, you use your wit.

Whatever you’ve got, own it. Work with it. Because the right man will be attracted to your unique blend of youness. So be authentic, and find the seduction techniques that get you the best results.

I also encourage you to know what you want before you try to seduce a man. Are you ready to have sex with him, or are you just looking for a little attention? Realize that some of the tips I outlined above will communicate to him that you are ready to get intimate, so be sure that you’re ready for that step before trying these strategies out. If you’re just starting to date a man and really want him to commit, maybe save these tips for later once you know each other better.

Let’s hear from our community! What ways have you found to work when it comes to how to seduce men with body language? Leave a comment below.

Flirting is a big part of how to seduce men with body language. If you need a refresher or tips, check out The Flirting Workshop.

The post How to Seduce Men With Body Language: 12 Perfect Seduction Tips appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

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[stopkingobama]

Weinstein Scandal Reveals This Sick Truth About Hollywood Liberals

Five years ago at the Democratic National Convention, I went to a Planned Parenthood rally, where one speaker was TV actress Lisa Edelstein.

“Do not go to the polls alone,” she told us. “Drag somebody, if she’s a woman especially, because those women are going to vote for Obama—if they know what’s good for them.”

Edelstein is hardly the only Hollywood figure to make the case that liberal policies are crucial to women’s happiness and welfare. Yet, with the media still reeling from the revelations about powerful Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein’s behavior toward women, it’s time to examine both the people promoting that worldview—and the worldview itself.

The Edelstein episode stayed with me because, as an avid fan of “House,” I was especially devastated to see the actress who had played the tough, smart Dr. Lisa Cuddy promote the nation’s largest abortion provider, Planned Parenthood. That organization is now fighting in Ohio against a law banning abortions done on the basis of gender. In other words, the oh-so-feminist Planned Parenthood is OK with the termination of pregnancy just because the child is a girl.

Yet Edelstein is far from alone in her support from Planned Parenthood. At the Academy Awards this year, actresses Emma Stone (who would win “Best Actress” that night) and Dakota Johnson both displayed Planned Parenthood pins. “I stand with Planned Parenthood because Planned Parenthood stands up for me,” said Scarlett Johansson in a 2015 video.

And the list of Planned Parenthood celebrity supporters goes on and on, including Kerry Washington, Nick Offerman, Alan Cumming, Ashley Judd, Mark Ruffalo, Chrissy Teigen, John Legend, Stanley Tucci, and Neil Patrick Harris, according to Newsbusters. Weinstein himself pledged $100,000 to Planned Parenthood in May, although the organization says he never delivered on the promise.

And that’s just Planned Parenthood. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama both racked up considerable celebrity endorsements in their presidential races, compared to virtually none for Donald Trump and Mitt Romney. In a speech at the 2016 Democratic National Convention, actress Lena Dunham stressed how Clinton would help women, saying: “Do you want equal pay for equal work? The right to make decisions about your body? Paid family leave?”

So shouldn’t Hollywood be a liberal utopia?

Yet the revelations about Weinstein’s behavior suggest Hollywood is not, in fact, a good place to be a woman.

Writing for The New Yorker, Ronan Farrow—who was raised by Woody Allen, who continues to be tolerated by Hollywood after marrying his stepdaughter and being accused of child molestation by another daughter—spoke to 13 women who accused Weinstein of behavior ranging from sexual harassment to rape. Here are some of their accusations:

— “He forced me to perform oral sex on him … I said, over and over, ‘I don’t want to do this, stop, don’t,��” recounted Lucia Evans, at the time an aspiring actress. “He’s a big guy. He overpowered me.”

— Weinstein “lunged at her, groping her breasts and attempting to put a hand up her skirt while she protested,” wrote Farrow of beauty pageant contestant Ambra Battilana Gutierrez, recounting her report to the police after the incident.

— An unnamed woman who worked with the producer “said that Weinstein brought her to a hotel room under a professional pretext, changed into a bathrobe, and ‘forced himself on me sexually.’ She said no, repeatedly and clearly,” wrote Farrow.

And more and more stories have come out about Weinstein, with actresses such as Gwyneth Paltrow and Angelina Jolie speaking out about his treatment of them.

Yet Weinstein is hardly a total outlier in Hollywood. After issuing a statement about Weinstein, actor Ben Affleck was accused of grabbing actress Hilarie Burton’s breast on MTV in 2003. He tweeted an apology.

He also grabbed Hilarie Burton’s breasts on TRL once. Everyone forgot though.

— Shanice Brim (@ShaniceBrim) October 10, 2017

Joss Whedon, the producer and writer behind TV shows including “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel” and writer-director of the blockbuster “Avengers” movies, came under fire from his ex-wife Kai Cole, who penned a damning essay about his affairs during their marriage in The Wrap this August. Cole wrote:

Despite understanding, on some level, that what he was doing was wrong, he never conceded the hypocrisy of being out in the world preaching feminist ideals, while at the same time, taking away my right to make choices for my life and my body based on the truth. He deceived me for 15 years, so he could have everything he wanted. I believed, everyone believed, that he was one of the good guys, committed to fighting for women’s rights, committed to our marriage, and to the women he worked with. But I now see how he used his relationship with me as a shield, both during and after our marriage, so no one would question his relationships with other women or scrutinize his writing as anything other than feminist.

Whedon did respond to Cole’s essay with this statement to The Wrap: “While this account includes inaccuracies and misrepresentations which can be harmful to their family, Joss is not commenting, out of concern for his children and out of respect for his ex-wife.”

And let’s not forget Roman Polanski, who remains a Hollywood darling, despite his inability to come back to the United States—because he has refused to serve jail time for drugging and raping a 13-year-old girl in 1977.

Besides facing groping, assault, and rape, Hollywood women have the right to be upset about other matters, too. Despite being a land allegedly crammed with feminists, it’s common for female actresses to receive less pay than their male co-stars. And the number of female directors and producers remains small. I’ll let The New York Times film critic Manohla Dargis take it from here:

Women helped build the industry, but it has long been a male-dominated enterprise that systematically treats women—as a class—as inferior to men. It is an industry with a history of sexually exploiting younger female performers and stamping expiration dates on older ones. It is an industry that consistently denies female directors employment and contemptuously treats the female audience as a niche, a problem, an afterthought.

And let’s also not forget that Weinstein’s disgusting behavior seemed to be well-known in Hollywood—yet no one, with a thought to future victims, blew the whistle. In 2013, Seth MacFarlane made a pointed joke at the televised Academy Awards ceremony about Weinstein, telling Best Supporting Actress nominees, “Congratulations, you five ladies no longer have to pretend to be attracted to Harvey Weinstein.” Based on the nervous laughter of the audience, it appears there wasn’t confusion at the allusion—but it would be four more years before the story broke.

How is this supporting women?

It is easy to call Hollywood elites and liberal politicians hypocrites. It is frankly astonishing that Hillary Clinton, who tweeted in 2015 that “Every survivor of sexual assault deserves to be heard, believed, and supported” (a claim that did not seem to extend to her husband’s alleged victims), took five days to denounce Weinstein. As top White House aide Kellyanne Conway tweeted, Clinton isn’t always so slow to react:

It took Hillary abt 5 minutes to blame NRA for madman’s rampage, but 5 days to sorta-kinda blame Harvey Weinstein 4 his sexually assaults.

— Kellyanne Conway (@KellyannePolls) October 10, 2017

Likewise, the Obamas took five days to issue a statement.

The common factor may have been the amount of money given to their campaigns, thanks to Weinstein. According to Politico, Weinstein’s efforts resulted in $1.4 million for Clinton’s 2016 campaign and $600,000 for Obama’s 2012 campaign. Not to be cynical, but: I think we have a motive for delay.

Now that Democrats and Hollywooders have realized there’s going to be no comeback for Weinstein, that there’s too many accusations of horrible things, they are quickly changing course. Weinstein has been fired from his company. The Democratic National Committee, which has received $300,000 from Weinstein over the years, is donating $30,000 to charities including EMILY’s List, which seeks to elect pro-abortion female politicians.

Which brings me back to my point: Perhaps Weinstein isn’t a hypocrite, but rather the fulfillment of the real values that undergird Hollywood. Maybe the abortion obsession shared by Democrats and celebrities isn’t about giving women futures, but about giving men the guarantee to have consequence-free sex, even if the condom breaks or the birth control fails.

Sure, it’s often actresses, not actors, supporting Planned Parenthood—but if we’ve learned anything from the Weinstein saga, it’s that actresses often feel compelled or pressured to do certain things in order to have a successful career.

Again: Let’s look at Hollywood’s behavior, not what it says. It’s a place where young women are cherished and older women have to desperately fight for good roles. It’s a place where men get paid more, and where men more often are the leaders. It’s a place where somehow Weinstein was allowed to sexually harass and assault women for decades, and a place where a rapist like Polanski and a man who married his adopted daughter, like Allen, can remain lionized.

Sarah Palin isn’t controlling Hollywood. Nor is George W. Bush, or Donald Trump, or Michele Bachmann, or Mike Pence, or any other conservative figure the left slams. There’s no vast right-wing conspiracy here, no outside forces upsetting the liberal utopia that is Hollywood.

No, this is the world Hollywood has made for itself—and it’s a really ugly place, particularly if you’re a woman. Perhaps, as Whedon is accused of doing by his ex-wife, Hollywood men have just realized it’s easier to get away with bad behavior toward women if you say you embrace feminism.

It’s great that Weinstein is finally facing accountability. But it’s just not him who should; it’s the values of the entire system that kept him safe in a liberal cocoon for so long.

To steal Edelstein’s phrase, if women “know what’s good for them,” they should take a long, hard look at Hollywood’s liberal values—and see if they make a better world for women, or instead make it easier for men to act like out-of-control frat boys.

Commentary by Katrina Trinko. Originally published at The Daily Signal.

[americanlibertypac]

Weinstein Scandal Reveals This Sick Truth About Hollywood Liberals

Five years ago at the Democratic National Convention, I went to a Planned Parenthood rally, where one speaker was TV actress Lisa Edelstein.

“Do not go to the polls alone,” she told us. “Drag somebody, if she’s a woman especially, because those women are going to vote for Obama—if they know what’s good for them.”

Edelstein is hardly the only Hollywood figure to make the case that liberal policies are crucial to women’s happiness and welfare. Yet, with the media still reeling from the revelations about powerful Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein’s behavior toward women, it’s time to examine both the people promoting that worldview—and the worldview itself.

The Edelstein episode stayed with me because, as an avid fan of “House,” I was especially devastated to see the actress who had played the tough, smart Dr. Lisa Cuddy promote the nation’s largest abortion provider, Planned Parenthood. That organization is now fighting in Ohio against a law banning abortions done on the basis of gender. In other words, the oh-so-feminist Planned Parenthood is OK with the termination of pregnancy just because the child is a girl.

Yet Edelstein is far from alone in her support from Planned Parenthood. At the Academy Awards this year, actresses Emma Stone (who would win “Best Actress” that night) and Dakota Johnson both displayed Planned Parenthood pins. “I stand with Planned Parenthood because Planned Parenthood stands up for me,” said Scarlett Johansson in a 2015 video.

And the list of Planned Parenthood celebrity supporters goes on and on, including Kerry Washington, Nick Offerman, Alan Cumming, Ashley Judd, Mark Ruffalo, Chrissy Teigen, John Legend, Stanley Tucci, and Neil Patrick Harris, according to Newsbusters. Weinstein himself pledged $100,000 to Planned Parenthood in May, although the organization says he never delivered on the promise.

And that’s just Planned Parenthood. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama both racked up considerable celebrity endorsements in their presidential races, compared to virtually none for Donald Trump and Mitt Romney. In a speech at the 2016 Democratic National Convention, actress Lena Dunham stressed how Clinton would help women, saying: “Do you want equal pay for equal work? The right to make decisions about your body? Paid family leave?”

So shouldn’t Hollywood be a liberal utopia?

Yet the revelations about Weinstein’s behavior suggest Hollywood is not, in fact, a good place to be a woman.

Writing for The New Yorker, Ronan Farrow—who was raised by Woody Allen, who continues to be tolerated by Hollywood after marrying his stepdaughter and being accused of child molestation by another daughter—spoke to 13 women who accused Weinstein of behavior ranging from sexual harassment to rape. Here are some of their accusations:

— “He forced me to perform oral sex on him … I said, over and over, ‘I don’t want to do this, stop, don’t,’” recounted Lucia Evans, at the time an aspiring actress. “He’s a big guy. He overpowered me.”

— Weinstein “lunged at her, groping her breasts and attempting to put a hand up her skirt while she protested,” wrote Farrow of beauty pageant contestant Ambra Battilana Gutierrez, recounting her report to the police after the incident.

— An unnamed woman who worked with the producer “said that Weinstein brought her to a hotel room under a professional pretext, changed into a bathrobe, and ‘forced himself on me sexually.’ She said no, repeatedly and clearly,” wrote Farrow.

And more and more stories have come out about Weinstein, with actresses such as Gwyneth Paltrow and Angelina Jolie speaking out about his treatment of them.

Yet Weinstein is hardly a total outlier in Hollywood. After issuing a statement about Weinstein, actor Ben Affleck was accused of grabbing actress Hilarie Burton’s breast on MTV in 2003. He tweeted an apology.

He also grabbed Hilarie Burton’s breasts on TRL once. Everyone forgot though.

— Shanice Brim (@ShaniceBrim) October 10, 2017

Joss Whedon, the producer and writer behind TV shows including “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel” and writer-director of the blockbuster “Avengers” movies, came under fire from his ex-wife Kai Cole, who penned a damning essay about his affairs during their marriage in The Wrap this August. Cole wrote:

Despite understanding, on some level, that what he was doing was wrong, he never conceded the hypocrisy of being out in the world preaching feminist ideals, while at the same time, taking away my right to make choices for my life and my body based on the truth. He deceived me for 15 years, so he could have everything he wanted. I believed, everyone believed, that he was one of the good guys, committed to fighting for women’s rights, committed to our marriage, and to the women he worked with. But I now see how he used his relationship with me as a shield, both during and after our marriage, so no one would question his relationships with other women or scrutinize his writing as anything other than feminist.

Whedon did respond to Cole’s essay with this statement to The Wrap: “While this account includes inaccuracies and misrepresentations which can be harmful to their family, Joss is not commenting, out of concern for his children and out of respect for his ex-wife.”

And let’s not forget Roman Polanski, who remains a Hollywood darling, despite his inability to come back to the United States—because he has refused to serve jail time for drugging and raping a 13-year-old girl in 1977.

Besides facing groping, assault, and rape, Hollywood women have the right to be upset about other matters, too. Despite being a land allegedly crammed with feminists, it’s common for female actresses to receive less pay than their male co-stars. And the number of female directors and producers remains small. I’ll let The New York Times film critic Manohla Dargis take it from here:

Women helped build the industry, but it has long been a male-dominated enterprise that systematically treats women—as a class—as inferior to men. It is an industry with a history of sexually exploiting younger female performers and stamping expiration dates on older ones. It is an industry that consistently denies female directors employment and contemptuously treats the female audience as a niche, a problem, an afterthought.

And let’s also not forget that Weinstein’s disgusting behavior seemed to be well-known in Hollywood—yet no one, with a thought to future victims, blew the whistle. In 2013, Seth MacFarlane made a pointed joke at the televised Academy Awards ceremony about Weinstein, telling Best Supporting Actress nominees, “Congratulations, you five ladies no longer have to pretend to be attracted to Harvey Weinstein.” Based on the nervous laughter of the audience, it appears there wasn’t confusion at the allusion—but it would be four more years before the story broke.

How is this supporting women?

It is easy to call Hollywood elites and liberal politicians hypocrites. It is frankly astonishing that Hillary Clinton, who tweeted in 2015 that “Every survivor of sexual assault deserves to be heard, believed, and supported” (a claim that did not seem to extend to her husband’s alleged victims), took five days to denounce Weinstein. As top White House aide Kellyanne Conway tweeted, Clinton isn’t always so slow to react:

It took Hillary abt 5 minutes to blame NRA for madman’s rampage, but 5 days to sorta-kinda blame Harvey Weinstein 4 his sexually assaults.

— Kellyanne Conway (@KellyannePolls) October 10, 2017

Likewise, the Obamas took five days to issue a statement.

The common factor may have been the amount of money given to their campaigns, thanks to Weinstein. According to Politico, Weinstein’s efforts resulted in $1.4 million for Clinton’s 2016 campaign and $600,000 for Obama’s 2012 campaign. Not to be cynical, but: I think we have a motive for delay.

Now that Democrats and Hollywooders have realized there’s going to be no comeback for Weinstein, that there’s too many accusations of horrible things, they are quickly changing course. Weinstein has been fired from his company. The Democratic National Committee, which has received $300,000 from Weinstein over the years, is donating $30,000 to charities including EMILY’s List, which seeks to elect pro-abortion female politicians.

Which brings me back to my point: Perhaps Weinstein isn’t a hypocrite, but rather the fulfillment of the real values that undergird Hollywood. Maybe the abortion obsession shared by Democrats and celebrities isn’t about giving women futures, but about giving men the guarantee to have consequence-free sex, even if the condom breaks or the birth control fails.

Sure, it’s often actresses, not actors, supporting Planned Parenthood—but if we’ve learned anything from the Weinstein saga, it’s that actresses often feel compelled or pressured to do certain things in order to have a successful career.

Again: Let’s look at Hollywood’s behavior, not what it says. It’s a place where young women are cherished and older women have to desperately fight for good roles. It’s a place where men get paid more, and where men more often are the leaders. It’s a place where somehow Weinstein was allowed to sexually harass and assault women for decades, and a place where a rapist like Polanski and a man who married his adopted daughter, like Allen, can remain lionized.

Sarah Palin isn’t controlling Hollywood. Nor is George W. Bush, or Donald Trump, or Michele Bachmann, or Mike Pence, or any other conservative figure the left slams. There’s no vast right-wing conspiracy here, no outside forces upsetting the liberal utopia that is Hollywood.

No, this is the world Hollywood has made for itself—and it’s a really ugly place, particularly if you’re a woman. Perhaps, as Whedon is accused of doing by his ex-wife, Hollywood men have just realized it’s easier to get away with bad behavior toward women if you say you embrace feminism.

It’s great that Weinstein is finally facing accountability. But it’s just not him who should; it’s the values of the entire system that kept him safe in a liberal cocoon for so long.

To steal Edelstein’s phrase, if women “know what’s good for them,” they should take a long, hard look at Hollywood’s liberal values—and see if they make a better world for women, or instead make it easier for men to act like out-of-control frat boys.

Commentary by Katrina Trinko. Originally published at The Daily Signal.

[jasonmkemp4]

15 Uncomfortable Things That Will Make You More Successful

In atrulybeautiful letterto his daughter Yolande,SociologistW.E.B. Du Bois extolledthe virtues of being uncomfortable.

Yolandewasheaded to a new school halfway around the world from the neighborhood and people she knew. It was years before women had the right to vote, and decades before the Civil Rights Movement.

Du Bois knew she would have more than a few fish-out-of-water moments. Instead of trying to shield her from them, he asked her to revel in them:

Don't shrink from new experiences and custom. Take the cold bath bravely. Enter into the spirit of your big bed-room. Enjoy what is and not pine for what is not. Read some good, heavy, serious books just for discipline: Take yourself in hand and master yourself. Make yourself do unpleasant things, so as to gain the upper hand of your soul. Above all remember: your father loves you and believes in you and expects you to be a wonderful woman."

I am no W.E.B. Du Bois. I have neither his fortitudenor his stunningway with words. What I do have, however, is a small history of uncomfortable experiencesthat have made me stronger, and anendless sea of animated GIFs through which to illustrate those experiences.

Here are a handful of uncomfortablesituations in which you should take De Bois' advice and "Take the cold bath bravely." You'll be better off as a result.

(And remember: Investing in your career and developing new skills can often feel daunting -- especially when you have a day job.If you're looking for something you can work towards at your own pace, check out thison-demand marketing course.)

15 Uncomfortable Things That Will Make You More Successful

Brace yourself. It's about to get awkward.

1) Learning to Take a Compliment

Source: Reaction GIFs

Tell me if this sounds familiar: You work exceedingly hard. You've honed your skills.You know when you've done great work and take a quiet pride in it. And yet, the momentsomeone verbalizes it in the form of acompliment you can't seem to string two words together. Instead, you revert into one ofthe following:

The babbling-response.

The self-deprecatingresponse.

The total and complete blackout.

That nonsense has to stop. Here's how to take a compliment:

Realize that someone is paying you a compliment.

Let them finish.

Seriously, let them finish.

Take a breath.

Smile and say "Thank you. That's really goodto hear."

Move on in the conversation. Don't over-explain. Don't undercut yourself. Just thank them sincerely and move on with a question about how their work is going.

Why is this so hard? According toa study by AcknowledgmentWorks,nearly 70% of people associate embarrassment or discomfort with the process of being recognized.Sometimes, this response iscaused by thedissonance we feel when someone contradicts our own self-doubt.

But that doesn't explain why people who are genuinely proud of themselves still balk athearing that same praise from others. For those people, it often comes down to a learned-response. In other words,youare awkward when you receive compliments becauseI am awkward when I receive compliments -- or, if not me, then your mom; your co-workers; your icons. We're all making each other squirm.

One way to turn that discomfort on its head is to realize that the compliment has more to do with the person giving it than with you. "When someone is complimenting you, they are sharing how your actions or behaviors impacted them," explains Business Psychologist Mark Goulston."They are not asking if you agree." So don't rob them of that moment.

2)Public Speaking

Source:Giphy

You knew this one was coming, right? Fear of public speaking is so common it has its own phobia name:Glossophobia.

Now, I don't think I need to go into the reasons behind this particular juggernaut of discomfort. We've all been there. Having that many eyes and ears on you is stressful. It makes you feel as though any mistake or imperfection will be amplified a thousand times. I'm also certain you realize how compelling a good public speaker can be, and how much it can advance your ability to lead and inspire.

So all that leaves is the classic glossophobia question: How do you get over it? The answer is a mix ofsubstantialand superficial changes.

Know the essential points.

Do not attempt to memorize your speeches. Instead, memorize your key points and your pivot lines. Pivot lines are the sentences that will move you from one key point to another. They act as navigational guides for your audience and a momentary comfort zone for you. Use these pivot lines to reset, take a breath, and move to your next key point.

Understand that everyone wants you to succeed.

You are not going into battle. You are not facing a firing squad. These people you are talking to are all decent, interested folks. Many of whom also suffer from glossophobia. So know they are friendly, and talk to them like it.

Fake it.

For this last point, I turn to Harvard Associate Professor Amy Cuddy. She is a brilliant researcher and a self-proclaimed introvert who noticed something fascinatingly simple about skilled public speakers: They all looked comfortable, and they all appeared to be in command -- even if that appearance was all a big ruse.

So she studied what happens to people's mindset when they stood up straight, casually used the space around them, and otherwise "power-posed."Turns out the physical act of power-posing can send biological triggers to your brain to reduce cortisol levels and increase testosterone, calming you down and empowering you simultaneously.

(Here's a blog post on science-backed tips for better public speaking if you want to learn more.)

3) Working WithData

Source: Reddit

If you don't take to math easily, then delving into data can be intimidating. But learning to use data to find opportunities and underscore your points is a game-changer in your career.

The trick to mastering data is to learn it in context. Start by getting to know the core metrics that reflect your work. Play with spreadsheets at the close of a month. Learn to recognize trends.Alter the data to see how moving one metric would influence the others. The more time you spend with the data the morenatural interpreting it will become. Once you've done that, you can dig into the tougher stuff. Here are a couple of resources to get you started:

How to Use Excel: Essential Training for Data-Driven Marketing: A downloadable resource that includes videos, instructions for how to do specific things in Excel, and advice forusing Excel to build reports.

14 Simple Excel Shortcuts, Tip & Tricks:A blog post with step-by-step instructions for creating pivot tables, filters, conditional formatting, VLOOKUPs, and more. Harry Potter references and GIFs included.

10 Excel Tips and Tricks Every Marketer Should Know:A blog post teachingyou how to create a histogram and what exactlyregression analysis entails. It's a good time for all.

Data Smart:A book by Data Scientist John Foreman, who is a wizard at taking the complex and putting into approachable and even entertaining terms. While this book isn't exactly an easy read, I can assure you it's worth every minute invested.

4) Waking Up Early

Source:ReactionGIFs

It's exhausting, this modern life. While it may seem like you shouldsqueeze as many extra minutes of sleep out of the morningas possible, the opposite isusually true. Your energy, focus and mental capacity are at their highestduring the morninghours and proceed to wane throughout the rest of the day.

Take advantage of that time before breakfast when the chaos of the day has yet to set in. For most people, waking up earlyis a learned practice.

First, make sure you're cognizant enough to make the decision. Putting your alarm clock right next to your pillow is bound to result in you hitting snooze from a dazedstate. You can't be expected to make smart choices while you're stilldreaming. In addition,waking up early needs to become a pleasant experience. So if the thought of going straight from your warm bed to a shower or treadmill seems abrupt, then don't do it. Instead, move from your bed to the cozy corner chair in your living room and read for a bit with a mug of coffee. What you do early on doesn't matter, what matters is that you use the time in productive ways. (Read this blog post for more tips on becoming a morning person.)

5) Taking Critical Feedback

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This one stings sometimes, but it's important. Learning to hear criticism without turning your back to it can be one of the most fortifying achievements of your career.

Think of critical feedbackas a cheat sheet. In giving you direct feedback, your manager or colleague is giving you a shortcut -- your own personal konami code-- to becoming better at your job.

Sometimes, even with the best intentions, taking feedback well can bea struggle. Your impulse will be to protect yourself; to get defensive, or stop listening. So, be conscious of it. Much like accepting a compliment, take a breath when you realize critical feedback is coming your way. Listen to it all without interruption. Write down what you can. Then, ask questions to make sure you're interpreting it right.

6) GivingCritical Feedback

Source:Giphy

The only thing worse than taking critical feedback is giving it. I've written about this before:Whether you're a manager or a friend, feedback is an opportunity to help someone get better.Don't waste it. Good coaches give feedback directly and with respect. Don't try to soften the blow or talk around the feedback. Doing somay make you feel better but itwill only serve to confuse them.

If you're struggling to be direct, try one clear line followed by detail. For example, "John, what you're doing isn't working. Let's talk through why..."

In addition, feedback is always most constructive if accompanied by recent concrete examples. Telling someone they have a bad attitude isn't helpful --it's far better to point to a precise moment in which that bad attitude showed up, and then explain how moments like thatcan become detrimental in aggregate.Ultimately, knowing how to improve is as important as knowing what to improve. The person receiving the feedback should leave the conversation feelingempowered to change, not broken down. (Here are some more tips on how to give negative feedback without sounding like a jerk.)

7) Fighting through Conflict

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You know what's more uncomfortable than fighting through a conflict with someone? Settling for an uninspired compromise, and then gossiping about thatperson over drinks with your coworkers. That's WAY more comfortable than conflict. (Not to mention, way less productive.)

There are two ways conflict negotiations get botched: Either one side gives in too easily, or both sides are too inflexible to make resolution possible.The cleanest way through conflict is to try to discover what's motivating the other person. Comment trolls aside, it's pretty rare for someone to be argumentative for no good reason. Discovering the reason will help you finda better route to solving the conflict. That's why your best assetin settlingconflict is a collection ofgenuine questions and a patient ear to hear the answers.

8) Exercising

Source: Giphy

I keep waiting for the study that says that exercise isn't all its cracked up to be. It's fair to say that study isn't coming. Not only is exercise good for your physical health, the ties between exercise and mental capacityare becoming undeniable. (Thanks, science.)

If you like working out, skip right ahead. If you don't, here are the only things I've found to work.

Find your reason.

Maybe you want to lose weight. Maybe it helps you think more clearly. Maybe you have three kids, a constantly buzzingphone, and a dog all demanding your attention and exerciseis your only chanceto be alone. The reasons don't matter. Just find the one that feels authentic for you and use it.

Makethe time.

Treat exercise likeyou treat showering. It's just something you do; a non-negotiable daily ritual. (Psst ...here are 10 little ways to sneak in exercise at work.)

Get over it.

I used to hear about "runners' highs," a sort of delusion that sets in after you've done it enough that actually makes you believe jogging is fun. That may be the case for some people. It never happened for me, and wantingto like running made it easy to give up when I ultimately didn't. Du Bois' advice is worth hearing again here: "Make yourself do unpleasant things, so as to gain the upper hand of your soul."

Find your genre.

The softer alternative to the above point is to find the exercise format that you hate least. If a crowded gym makes you want to run for the hills, then work out at home or outside on your own. If you find jogging boring, join a class or sports league. Work at it -- it's worth it.

9) Unplugging

Source: Giphy

I love the internet. And smartphones? They're like personalescape hatches that you carry with you all the time. But maybe "all the time" is not such a good idea.

According to a TIME pollof more than 5,000 people,84% of respondents said that they could not go a single day without their cell phones, and 20% said they check them once or more every 20 minutes.

It's not the frequency of usage that's the problem; it'swhat that level of usage does to our focus. Using our smartphones at nightcan make it a lot harder to sleep. When we use our smartphonesnonstop it can be harder to think clearly.

So, here's an experiment. For two weeks, set aside some screen free time blocks in your day. During that time fight the urge to open your laptop, watch TV, or glance at your phone. Sustain it for 60minutes or more and see if you've gained better focus at the conclusion of the experiment. Then, go find some cat videos on YouTubeto celebrate.

10) Networking and Making Small Talk

Source: Giphy

Everyone has a small-talk formula. Some people start with the weather (nice, mild winter we're having, eh?), while others ask how things are going with you at work. But here's the trick to mastering small talk: Get fascinated by it and the person wielding it. It's a little like being dealt a hand of cards, you can use what you have to get to bigger and more interesting plays.

If someone asks you how work is, don't say "fine" -- or worse, "busy." Tell them it's good and follow up with, "You know, there's one project in particular that you may find interesting."If you're doing the asking, take any opportunity to dive deeper. Use each question as a spring board to the next one. Eventually, you'll hit on something substantial.

11) Admitting a Mistake

Source: ReactionGIFs

You know that moment right after you realize you've accidentally made a mistake? You know, that momentwhen the dread plummetsinto your stomach in one sweeping motion? Uncomfortable doesn't even begin to describe it.

However, even that can be turned around. Themost effective way toreplace that sinking feeling in your gut isto assess the situation and take action. Ask yourself:

Is it immediately reversible?

On my last blog post, I had a glaring typo. This was not some extra spacing after a period, this was a blatantblemish smack in the middleof my post. And I missed it. Thankfully Claire Autruong caught it and let me know via Twitter so I could edit the post before it was too late. Claire is my favorite person of the week. (Incidentally, she is also a full-stack freelance marketer -- inbound certified and nice as can be --if you're looking.)

Who should know?

Whom doesyour mistake affect? Who is in the position who canhelp you solve it? Quickly scan the list of people that need to know about your mistake and contact them explainingwhat happened and what you're doing about it.

What's your plan?

If the mistake isn't immediately reversible, you'll need a plan of action.A good plan is the best antidoteto mistake-induced discomfort.Shift from panic to determination as soon as possible, and that discomfort will subside.

12) Getting in Over Your Head

Source: ReactionGIFs

Of all the uncomfortable moments, getting in over your head is probably the one most worth pursuing.Sure, it's a little scary , and there's always the chance of failure, but nothing stretches you more or makes you more creative thanhaving no idea what you're doing.

So how do you put yourself in an over-your-head style situation? Raise your hand. When there's a project no one wants, step up. When there's a problem that has existed for years, have at it. Then break it down. Take big challenges and tackle them piece by piece. It may not always be fun, but you will almost always be better for the effort.

13) Disagreeing With Your Boss

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There's a reason my boss is my boss. He's really freaking smart. He's exceptionally good at what he does. So in the times I find myself disagreeing with him there are usually a few moments of internal back and forth before I'm ready to say so aloud. But I do so because I've learned that staying quiet is more damaging than polite.

It took me becoming a manager myself to realize how constructive disagreement can be.A perspective that is never tested grows shallow.Sometimes a dissenting opinion will make you reconsider. Sometimes it will make your stance stronger. Either way, the exercise of hearing different angles advances your thinking and improves your outcomes.

So spit it out. "I disagree on that point." If that feels too direct consider framing it as a question. "What about a different approach?"Most importantly, don't save up for a major disagreement.Practice coming at issues from different angles now. The more you present constructive counterpoints the easier it will become, and you'll be more likely to speak up when it matters most.

14) Promoting Yourself

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Periodically we survey our team to get a sense for how each employee is feeling about the company and their own career development. One theme that sometimes comes back is how to get ahead without being self-promotional. Usually the comment goes something like this: "It seems like the company always recognizes the same people. I do good work, but it seems like no one notices."

The honest response to these comments is: You're right.

Growing companies are chaotic. They churn with activity: breakthroughs and setbacks, new projects and discoveries. Keeping up with it all isn't practical, so managers rely on signals, and tasteful self-promotion is a valuable signal.

Self-promotion is sometimes misused to serve the ego, but there's a way to pull it off that also also serves thecompany.

We are taught not to be overly self-promotional. We are encouraged to value the achievement rather than the accolades. That message isalmostright. It focuses on what matters most but fails to recognize that talking about an achievement can fuel its fire.Promoting an achievement can galvanize others to bring their ideas to it and ensure future efforts learn from it.And yes, it can get you noticed.

The trick here is being judicial.Not everything you do deserves broader attention. But some things do. In those cases, talking about them doesn't make you an attention junkie it makes you a good communicator. If the personal attention makes you uncomfortable, focus your advocacy on the work itself. Draw attention to the discovery, milestone or lessons uncovered by your effort. The company will be better for it and you will too.

15) Admitting You Don't Understand Something

Source:Giphy

I was a good six months into my job as a product marketer for a software company before I finally owned up to not knowing what an API was. I mean Iknewwhat an API was. I'd Googled it, obviously. API stands "application programming interface" and constitutes a set of "subroutine definitions, protocols, and tools for building application software." ThanksWikipedia. (I'll hit you up on that next fundraising round), but for all my internet research, I didn't really understand what an API did.

Then it came time for me to explain that my company, HubSpot, was opening up more of the helpful little buggers to the public and I did not know where to begin. So, I went to my product manager and did what any ego-protecting protagonist would do, I tried to fake it.

"How would you describe this -- in layman's terms-to the average reader?" I asked.

Smooth. Always blame the reader.

"Well, developers are pretty accustomed to APIs so don't worry about needing to educate them on it."

Not smooth.

I folded.

"Ok, then, how would you explain it to me? I mean, will you explain it to me? I don't get it. "

And thus began my relationship with APIs. I still don't understand all the details of how they work, but I'm much smarter for having gotten over myself and asked the question.

Don't fake it until you make it. Get over yourself and ask the question.

I'll stop there ...

... but this is really just the beginning.Who knew there were so many uncomfortable things in the world? (Michael Cera. Michael Cera probably knew.)

From negotiating salary to reading "some good, heavy, serious books" as Du Bois suggests, thislist could go on and on. Hopefully it will, in the comments below.

What uncomfortable moment have you conqueredas a professional? Which are you still working on that you'd add to this list? Share with us in the comments.

Editor's Note: This post was originally published in March 2016 and has been updated for freshness and comprehensiveness.

[benfchristie2]

15 Uncomfortable Things That Will Make You More Successful

In atrulybeautiful letterto his daughter Yolande,SociologistW.E.B. Du Bois extolledthe virtues of being uncomfortable.

Yolandewasheaded to a new school halfway around the world from the neighborhood and people she knew. It was years before women had the right to vote, and decades before the Civil Rights Movement.

Du Bois knew she would have more than a few fish-out-of-water moments. Instead of trying to shield her from them, he asked her to revel in them:

Don't shrink from new experiences and custom. Take the cold bath bravely. Enter into the spirit of your big bed-room. Enjoy what is and not pine for what is not. Read some good, heavy, serious books just for discipline: Take yourself in hand and master yourself. Make yourself do unpleasant things, so as to gain the upper hand of your soul. Above all remember: your father loves you and believes in you and expects you to be a wonderful woman."

I am no W.E.B. Du Bois. I have neither his fortitudenor his stunningway with words. What I do have, however, is a small history of uncomfortable experiencesthat have made me stronger, and anendless sea of animated GIFs through which to illustrate those experiences.

Here are a handful of uncomfortablesituations in which you should take De Bois' advice and "Take the cold bath bravely." You'll be better off as a result.

(And remember: Investing in your career and developing new skills can often feel daunting -- especially when you have a day job.If you're looking for something you can work towards at your own pace, check out thison-demand marketing course.)

15 Uncomfortable Things That Will Make You More Successful

Brace yourself. It's about to get awkward.

1) Learning to Take a Compliment

Source: Reaction GIFs

Tell me if this sounds familiar: You work exceedingly hard. You've honed your skills.You know when you've done great work and take a quiet pride in it. And yet, the momentsomeone verbalizes it in the form of acompliment you can't seem to string two words together. Instead, you revert into one ofthe following:

The babbling-response.

The self-deprecatingresponse.

The total and complete blackout.

That nonsense has to stop. Here's how to take a compliment:

Realize that someone is paying you a compliment.

Let them finish.

Seriously, let them finish.

Take a breath.

Smile and say "Thank you. That's really goodto hear."

Move on in the conversation. Don't over-explain. Don't undercut yourself. Just thank them sincerely and move on with a question about how their work is going.

Why is this so hard? According toa study by AcknowledgmentWorks,nearly 70% of people associate embarrassment or discomfort with the process of being recognized.Sometimes, this response iscaused by thedissonance we feel when someone contradicts our own self-doubt.

But that doesn't explain why people who are genuinely proud of themselves still balk athearing that same praise from others. For those people, it often comes down to a learned-response. In other words,youare awkward when you receive compliments becauseI am awkward when I receive compliments -- or, if not me, then your mom; your co-workers; your icons. We're all making each other squirm.

One way to turn that discomfort on its head is to realize that the compliment has more to do with the person giving it than with you. "When someone is complimenting you, they are sharing how your actions or behaviors impacted them," explains Business Psychologist Mark Goulston."They are not asking if you agree." So don't rob them of that moment.

2)Public Speaking

Source:Giphy

You knew this one was coming, right? Fear of public speaking is so common it has its own phobia name:Glossophobia.

Now, I don't think I need to go into the reasons behind this particular juggernaut of discomfort. We've all been there. Having that many eyes and ears on you is stressful. It makes you feel as though any mistake or imperfection will be amplified a thousand times. I'm also certain you realize how compelling a good public speaker can be, and how much it can advance your ability to lead and inspire.

So all that leaves is the classic glossophobia question: How do you get over it? The answer is a mix ofsubstantialand superficial changes.

Know the essential points.

Do not attempt to memorize your speeches. Instead, memorize your key points and your pivot lines. Pivot lines are the sentences that will move you from one key point to another. They act as navigational guides for your audience and a momentary comfort zone for you. Use these pivot lines to reset, take a breath, and move to your next key point.

Understand that everyone wants you to succeed.

You are not going into battle. You are not facing a firing squad. These people you are talking to are all decent, interested folks. Many of whom also suffer from glossophobia. So know they are friendly, and talk to them like it.

Fake it.

For this last point, I turn to Harvard Associate Professor Amy Cuddy. She is a brilliant researcher and a self-proclaimed introvert who noticed something fascinatingly simple about skilled public speakers: They all looked comfortable, and they all appeared to be in command -- even if that appearance was all a big ruse.

So she studied what happens to people's mindset when they stood up straight, casually used the space around them, and otherwise "power-posed."Turns out the physical act of power-posing can send biological triggers to your brain to reduce cortisol levels and increase testosterone, calming you down and empowering you simultaneously.

(Here's a blog post on science-backed tips for better public speaking if you want to learn more.)

3) Working WithData

Source: Reddit

If you don't take to math easily, then delving into data can be intimidating. But learning to use data to find opportunities and underscore your points is a game-changer in your career.

The trick to mastering data is to learn it in context. Start by getting to know the core metrics that reflect your work. Play with spreadsheets at the close of a month. Learn to recognize trends.Alter the data to see how moving one metric would influence the others. The more time you spend with the data the morenatural interpreting it will become. Once you've done that, you can dig into the tougher stuff. Here are a couple of resources to get you started:

How to Use Excel: Essential Training for Data-Driven Marketing: A downloadable resource that includes videos, instructions for how to do specific things in Excel, and advice forusing Excel to build reports.

14 Simple Excel Shortcuts, Tip & Tricks:A blog post with step-by-step instructions for creating pivot tables, filters, conditional formatting, VLOOKUPs, and more. Harry Potter references and GIFs included.

10 Excel Tips and Tricks Every Marketer Should Know:A blog post teachingyou how to create a histogram and what exactlyregression analysis entails. It's a good time for all.

Data Smart:A book by Data Scientist John Foreman, who is a wizard at taking the complex and putting into approachable and even entertaining terms. While this book isn't exactly an easy read, I can assure you it's worth every minute invested.

4) Waking Up Early

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It's exhausting, this modern life. While it may seem like you shouldsqueeze as many extra minutes of sleep out of the morningas possible, the opposite isusually true. Your energy, focus and mental capacity are at their highestduring the morninghours and proceed to wane throughout the rest of the day.

Take advantage of that time before breakfast when the chaos of the day has yet to set in. For most people, waking up earlyis a learned practice.

First, make sure you're cognizant enough to make the decision. Putting your alarm clock right next to your pillow is bound to result in you hitting snooze from a dazedstate. You can't be expected to make smart choices while you're stilldreaming. In addition,waking up early needs to become a pleasant experience. So if the thought of going straight from your warm bed to a shower or treadmill seems abrupt, then don't do it. Instead, move from your bed to the cozy corner chair in your living room and read for a bit with a mug of coffee. What you do early on doesn't matter, what matters is that you use the time in productive ways. (Read this blog post for more tips on becoming a morning person.)

5) Taking Critical Feedback

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This one stings sometimes, but it's important. Learning to hear criticism without turning your back to it can be one of the most fortifying achievements of your career.

Think of critical feedbackas a cheat sheet. In giving you direct feedback, your manager or colleague is giving you a shortcut -- your own personal konami code-- to becoming better at your job.

Sometimes, even with the best intentions, taking feedback well can bea struggle. Your impulse will be to protect yourself; to get defensive, or stop listening. So, be conscious of it. Much like accepting a compliment, take a breath when you realize critical feedback is coming your way. Listen to it all without interruption. Write down what you can. Then, ask questions to make sure you're interpreting it right.

6) GivingCritical Feedback

Source:Giphy

The only thing worse than taking critical feedback is giving it. I've written about this before:Whether you're a manager or a friend, feedback is an opportunity to help someone get better.Don't waste it. Good coaches give feedback directly and with respect. Don't try to soften the blow or talk around the feedback. Doing somay make you feel better but itwill only serve to confuse them.

If you're struggling to be direct, try one clear line followed by detail. For example, "John, what you're doing isn't working. Let's talk through why..."

In addition, feedback is always most constructive if accompanied by recent concrete examples. Telling someone they have a bad attitude isn't helpful --it's far better to point to a precise moment in which that bad attitude showed up, and then explain how moments like thatcan become detrimental in aggregate.Ultimately, knowing how to improve is as important as knowing what to improve. The person receiving the feedback should leave the conversation feelingempowered to change, not broken down. (Here are some more tips on how to give negative feedback without sounding like a jerk.)

7) Fighting through Conflict

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You know what's more uncomfortable than fighting through a conflict with someone? Settling for an uninspired compromise, and then gossiping about thatperson over drinks with your coworkers. That's WAY more comfortable than conflict. (Not to mention, way less productive.)

There are two ways conflict negotiations get botched: Either one side gives in too easily, or both sides are too inflexible to make resolution possible.The cleanest way through conflict is to try to discover what's motivating the other person. Comment trolls aside, it's pretty rare for someone to be argumentative for no good reason. Discovering the reason will help you finda better route to solving the conflict. That's why your best assetin settlingconflict is a collection ofgenuine questions and a patient ear to hear the answers.

8) Exercising

Source: Giphy

I keep waiting for the study that says that exercise isn't all its cracked up to be. It's fair to say that study isn't coming. Not only is exercise good for your physical health, the ties between exercise and mental capacityare becoming undeniable. (Thanks, science.)

If you like working out, skip right ahead. If you don't, here are the only things I've found to work.

Find your reason.

Maybe you want to lose weight. Maybe it helps you think more clearly. Maybe you have three kids, a constantly buzzingphone, and a dog all demanding your attention and exerciseis your only chanceto be alone. The reasons don't matter. Just find the one that feels authentic for you and use it.

Makethe time.

Treat exercise likeyou treat showering. It's just something you do; a non-negotiable daily ritual. (Psst ...here are 10 little ways to sneak in exercise at work.)

Get over it.

I used to hear about "runners' highs," a sort of delusion that sets in after you've done it enough that actually makes you believe jogging is fun. That may be the case for some people. It never happened for me, and wantingto like running made it easy to give up when I ultimately didn't. Du Bois' advice is worth hearing again here: "Make yourself do unpleasant things, so as to gain the upper hand of your soul."

Find your genre.

The softer alternative to the above point is to find the exercise format that you hate least. If a crowded gym makes you want to run for the hills, then work out at home or outside on your own. If you find jogging boring, join a class or sports league. Work at it -- it's worth it.

9) Unplugging

Source: Giphy

I love the internet. And smartphones? They're like personalescape hatches that you carry with you all the time. But maybe "all the time" is not such a good idea.

According to a TIME pollof more than 5,000 people,84% of respondents said that they could not go a single day without their cell phones, and 20% said they check them once or more every 20 minutes.

It's not the frequency of usage that's the problem; it'swhat that level of usage does to our focus. Using our smartphones at nightcan make it a lot harder to sleep. When we use our smartphonesnonstop it can be harder to think clearly.

So, here's an experiment. For two weeks, set aside some screen free time blocks in your day. During that time fight the urge to open your laptop, watch TV, or glance at your phone. Sustain it for 60minutes or more and see if you've gained better focus at the conclusion of the experiment. Then, go find some cat videos on YouTubeto celebrate.

10) Networking and Making Small Talk

Source: Giphy

Everyone has a small-talk formula. Some people start with the weather (nice, mild winter we're having, eh?), while others ask how things are going with you at work. But here's the trick to mastering small talk: Get fascinated by it and the person wielding it. It's a little like being dealt a hand of cards, you can use what you have to get to bigger and more interesting plays.

If someone asks you how work is, don't say "fine" -- or worse, "busy." Tell them it's good and follow up with, "You know, there's one project in particular that you may find interesting."If you're doing the asking, take any opportunity to dive deeper. Use each question as a spring board to the next one. Eventually, you'll hit on something substantial.

11) Admitting a Mistake

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You know that moment right after you realize you've accidentally made a mistake? You know, that momentwhen the dread plummetsinto your stomach in one sweeping motion? Uncomfortable doesn't even begin to describe it.

However, even that can be turned around. Themost effective way toreplace that sinking feeling in your gut isto assess the situation and take action. Ask yourself:

Is it immediately reversible?

On my last blog post, I had a glaring typo. This was not some extra spacing after a period, this was a blatantblemish smack in the middleof my post. And I missed it. Thankfully Claire Autruong caught it and let me know via Twitter so I could edit the post before it was too late. Claire is my favorite person of the week. (Incidentally, she is also a full-stack freelance marketer -- inbound certified and nice as can be --if you're looking.)

Who should know?

Whom doesyour mistake affect? Who is in the position who canhelp you solve it? Quickly scan the list of people that need to know about your mistake and contact them explainingwhat happened and what you're doing about it.

What's your plan?

If the mistake isn't immediately reversible, you'll need a plan of action.A good plan is the best antidoteto mistake-induced discomfort.Shift from panic to determination as soon as possible, and that discomfort will subside.

12) Getting in Over Your Head

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Of all the uncomfortable moments, getting in over your head is probably the one most worth pursuing.Sure, it's a little scary , and there's always the chance of failure, but nothing stretches you more or makes you more creative thanhaving no idea what you're doing.

So how do you put yourself in an over-your-head style situation? Raise your hand. When there's a project no one wants, step up. When there's a problem that has existed for years, have at it. Then break it down. Take big challenges and tackle them piece by piece. It may not always be fun, but you will almost always be better for the effort.

13) Disagreeing With Your Boss

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There's a reason my boss is my boss. He's really freaking smart. He's exceptionally good at what he does. So in the times I find myself disagreeing with him there are usually a few moments of internal back and forth before I'm ready to say so aloud. But I do so because I've learned that staying quiet is more damaging than polite.

It took me becoming a manager myself to realize how constructive disagreement can be.A perspective that is never tested grows shallow.Sometimes a dissenting opinion will make you reconsider. Sometimes it will make your stance stronger. Either way, the exercise of hearing different angles advances your thinking and improves your outcomes.

So spit it out. "I disagree on that point." If that feels too direct consider framing it as a question. "What about a different approach?"Most importantly, don't save up for a major disagreement.Practice coming at issues from different angles now. The more you present constructive counterpoints the easier it will become, and you'll be more likely to speak up when it matters most.

14) Promoting Yourself

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Periodically we survey our team to get a sense for how each employee is feeling about the company and their own career development. One theme that sometimes comes back is how to get ahead without being self-promotional. Usually the comment goes something like this: "It seems like the company always recognizes the same people. I do good work, but it seems like no one notices."

The honest response to these comments is: You're right.

Growing companies are chaotic. They churn with activity: breakthroughs and setbacks, new projects and discoveries. Keeping up with it all isn't practical, so managers rely on signals, and tasteful self-promotion is a valuable signal.

Self-promotion is sometimes misused to serve the ego, but there's a way to pull it off that also also serves thecompany.

We are taught not to be overly self-promotional. We are encouraged to value the achievement rather than the accolades. That message isalmostright. It focuses on what matters most but fails to recognize that talking about an achievement can fuel its fire.Promoting an achievement can galvanize others to bring their ideas to it and ensure future efforts learn from it.And yes, it can get you noticed.

The trick here is being judicial.Not everything you do deserves broader attention. But some things do. In those cases, talking about them doesn't make you an attention junkie it makes you a good communicator. If the personal attention makes you uncomfortable, focus your advocacy on the work itself. Draw attention to the discovery, milestone or lessons uncovered by your effort. The company will be better for it and you will too.

15) Admitting You Don't Understand Something

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I was a good six months into my job as a product marketer for a software company before I finally owned up to not knowing what an API was. I mean Iknewwhat an API was. I'd Googled it, obviously. API stands "application programming interface" and constitutes a set of "subroutine definitions, protocols, and tools for building application software." ThanksWikipedia. (I'll hit you up on that next fundraising round), but for all my internet research, I didn't really understand what an API did.

Then it came time for me to explain that my company, HubSpot, was opening up more of the helpful little buggers to the public and I did not know where to begin. So, I went to my product manager and did what any ego-protecting protagonist would do, I tried to fake it.

"How would you describe this -- in layman's terms-to the average reader?" I asked.

Smooth. Always blame the reader.

"Well, developers are pretty accustomed to APIs so don't worry about needing to educate them on it."

Not smooth.

I folded.

"Ok, then, how would you explain it to me? I mean, will you explain it to me? I don't get it. "

And thus began my relationship with APIs. I still don't understand all the details of how they work, but I'm much smarter for having gotten over myself and asked the question.

Don't fake it until you make it. Get over yourself and ask the question.

I'll stop there ...

... but this is really just the beginning.Who knew there were so many uncomfortable things in the world? (Michael Cera. Michael Cera probably knew.)

From negotiating salary to reading "some good, heavy, serious books" as Du Bois suggests, thislist could go on and on. Hopefully it will, in the comments below.

What uncomfortable moment have you conqueredas a professional? Which are you still working on that you'd add to this list? Share with us in the comments.

Editor's Note: This post was originally published in March 2016 and has been updated for freshness and comprehensiveness.