#(but she IS going to keep going & break his brain first)
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mev-fizzah-writes · 10 hours ago
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ᑎᑌᗰᗷ 𓌉◯𓇋
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A/N: First fic on this acc!! Enjoy this little angsty fic :) Neglected bat!reader breaks their sobriety after their family makes a grave mistake. Sure Reader should be used to it by now, but offering them a drink? At a Gala they forced you to attend? On your birthday? What a load of bull. You pray that Damian doesn't find out...but sadly they don't get accepted. No beta reader, we die like Jason Todd TW: Substance abuse, alcoholism, brief mention of underage drinking, self harm etc .
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𐙚"Don't let them see you like this" -Alex G 𐙚
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That's what it felt like, not a single though in your mind. It was consumed by the taste on your lips, the bottle in your hand. Limp, you sat in your bathtub, surrounded by broken glass and empty beer cans. The loud city of Gotham seemed to finally be silence, it seemed distant. It was the only thing keeping you from fully drifting away, the faint sound of cars, the only time you thanked this godforsaken city for being loud.
Guilt hadn't reached your mind yet, you only wanted to drink. Focusing on how the burn in your throat made you feel, oh how it made you feel so alive. Each breath felt sharp against your throat, it made you want more. The alcohol coursed through your veins, providing an escape, providing a warmth no person ever gave to you.
Leaning more into the cold porcelain you stared at the shattered glass by your feet. You could feel its sharp edges against your feet, it was a constant reminder of your mistakes.
Unfixable, the glass and your life. But right now that didn't matter, only the bottle existed, the burn and the urge to finish it. You managed the strength to pull your arm up, tilting your head back to feel it. The taste you missed so much, a taste you wanted to forget had no idea why you would neglect. What a day to celebrate your twenty second birthday! Relapsing after two years wasn't your plan today but it sure was better than anything else that happened today.
The night, displayed by your bathroom window, taunted you. It made your mind float through an intoxicated haze. Pieces of the day coming back to you, as well as the -now broken- promises you made. A sigh left your lungs and it was evident that she had drank, so much. All of this, just because of one question. A question that shouldn't have broken your heart as much as it did, really it was pathetic.
"Why aren't you drinking tonight?"
The sound of your 'brothers' voice was distant, and so was the guilt that was soon to consume you. But as the line between fiction and reality blurred more with another sip, there was not a worry in your head. The guilt will come later, but here it was no where to be seen. The only thing you could grasp was the bottle you used to keep on the highest shelf.
A shelf that was now empty, thanks to your so-called family's echoes. Echoes that were forever etched into your brain. Not only had they forgotten about your birthday, forcing you into a social event that you already dreaded, but they had also forgotten about your sobriety. Was not drinking on your twenty-first not an obvious sign? The question had filled you with anger at first. Your fists were clenched to your side when Dick had asked that. Hopefully you would forget this day ever happended.
"Why aren't you drinking tonight?" Dick said with slurred speech, making your family turn their heads to you. At first you took it as a joke, that he was trying to make you less tense. When your chuckle left all of them confused that's why you could feel your heart shattered. It felt like time had stopped, like god was playing a joke on you. You just stared at them, not giving him an answer. "You're kidding." There was no point in hiding the sadness in your voice, there was no way anyone was going to care anyway. After a strangled 'yes' left his lips you decided there was no point in talking them. You took one last glance back at your dad Bruce, he looked like he was going to offer you a drink, that was the last straw, so you decided there was no point in staying. Sadly, you did. Just enough to take a sip of champagne, just enough to set you back. God did you wish Damian was with you, he would've remembered.
Remember. That's the only thing you wanted to do. Today was supposed to be simple, go with Damian to a petting zoo, visit you favourite café with a few friends and be done with your day.
Damian...would he have stopped you from doing this? He was too young to attend whatever you were at this morning and sadly he wanted to meet up with his friend. You weren't going to stop him, he was the only one that listened to you and vise versa.
It made you chuckle, every time you told him about how much you used to drink, and every time he would give a small lecture on how much it impacts your liver and brain. Being a doctor would really suit him.
Just as you close your eyes you see a small light peeking outside the door. Light footsteps followed soon after, and suddenly everything is crashing down. You shake your head, hoping, praying that it isn't Damian. You'd rather it be a murderer coming to finally end you then your little brother. No, he had so much faith in you, please. Sadly, if you speak of the devil, he appears.
The light spilling in from the living room stung your eyes, luckily they were already tearing up.
"Sorry I didn't knock, but can you pick up the phone-"
You saw it, the way his eyes widen an he drops your phone. The way the his green eyes suddenly become more reflective, is hands twitched and he took a step back. Your baby brother, staring at you with such a distaste and confusion and...there was nothing you can do. There was no way you could've gotten up to hug hum, even reassuring him seemed impossible in your state. Glass etched into your foot, a pool of blood by feet as your eyes fluttered.
"Wha...y-you promised!" His voice wobbled with an anger that you understood all too well. The way his eyes switched between shock and sadness and the way he seemed to be frozen on the spot. It was like looking into a mirror ten years ago. He stared at you the same way you stared at your mother, it was driving you crazy with guilt.
"Dami..." you croaked out, feeling nothing but selfish.
"No. Keep your eyes open I-I'll call an ambulance. I...I" watching him stutter didn't do anything good for your heart, you just wanted to hold him and tell him that this was just some sick prank.
"I'm sorry...just don't tell Dad." The way you uttered those words seemed to catch him off goard.
"This...feels like a matter that should be reported to hi-"
"Dami. Just don't...please." To be honest, you were baffled he was even understanding you. It didn't even feel like english you were speaking. "I love you, buddy..."
If those were your last words, you were glad. Soon the coldness of the porcelain was no longer there, and there was only a faint ringing you could here. Maybe you were dying? It was a lot less scary then what you thought it would be, it was just...numb. No taste of alcohol, no warmth, no burn. Only numbness.
Just numb.
Numb.
๋࣭ ⭑Laying there lifeless...๋࣭ ⭑
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j-k-writes · 2 days ago
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The Brozen Targaryen Deleted Scene - 1
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Summary - (Y/N) has enough on his plate with an unwanted betrothal and estranged father forcing himself back into his life. He does not need a new and unwanted dragon thrown into the mix. However, as (Y/N) begins his training as a dragon rider he realizes that perhaps one problem can help fix some others.
Warnings - General HOTD warnings, targcest (cousins), political marriage
The winner of the poll!
(Y/N) did not return to the keep until morning. His uncle and what looked to be the entirety of the royal guard were waiting for him as he dragged his feet through the gates. One look at (Y/N)'s mud and blood-soaked clothing was all it took for his uncle’s face to flush in fury. 
“Come with me.” Viserys bit out. “Now.” 
(Y/N) followed his uncle, and the guards who had not left his side since he climbed the stairs, silently. Not that he could blame them, he’d managed to slip their eyesight the night before, and look what happened. His uncle walked him to his chambers, dismissing most of the guards as they entered. 
“Fetch a maester.” His uncle said to one of the guards as they left, before closing the door behind them. He rounded on (Y/N), fury clear on his face. “Sit.” 
The tiny petulant child that lived in (Y/N)’s brain wanted to continue to stand but the exhaustion seeped deep into his bones and forced him into a seat. (Y/N) sighed as his aching back met the cushioned chair, and he watched as Viserys paced the length of the room. 
“What were you thinking?” Viserys said, but before (Y/N) could form an answer he spoke again. “You are a Prince of the House Targaryen, the heir to Runestone! Sneaking out at night? You could’ve been taken, or worse killed!” 
“I wouldn’t have been killed, uncle.” (Y/N) said, indignant at the thought that he would be killed by some random attacker in Fleabottom. It was the wrong thing to say as his uncle seethed further. 
“No?” Viserys spat. “Have you seen yourself, (Y/N)? You are covered in dirt and blood. What am I supposed to tell your father when he returns? That I allowed his only son to escape my watch and injure himself as he whored around Fleabottom?” 
“I think he’d be thrilled at the thought actually.” (Y/N) said, “But I wasn’t whoring, I just wanted a break. I am not used to the city, uncle. I missed the fresh air.” 
His uncle deflated at his words, sighing to himself. “If you had just told me-” 
“You would’ve sent me to the woods with at least four guards. I wanted to go alone.” 
The doors burst open as (Y/N) finished his sentence, but it was not the maester who entered the room but Rhaneyra. She was panting as if she’d run to his room. Rhaenyra looked to her father first and then to (Y/N), and when they made eye contact her jaw dropped. 
“What have you done?” (Y/N) laughed at her words. She approached him, face flickering between disgust at his mud-covered clothes, and worry at the blood on his face. 
“Rhaenyra-” Viserys started but his heir waved him off, grabbing a cloth from the water bowl on (Y/N)’s desk. His uncle sighed at Rhaenyra’s actions, turning to (Y/N). “We have not finished with this conversation, and I will be doubling your guard.” 
(Y/N) sighed, watching as his uncle left the room letting the chamber doors closer with a slam behind him. Rhaenyra approached, beginning to wipe the grime off his face. Her movements were harsh with anger, and (Y/N) winced as the cold rag made contact with the cuts on his face. 
“Tell me what happened.” Rhaenyra said, her tone leaving no room for argument. 
“I snuck out of the keep.” 
“I am aware of that.” Rhaenyra said. “The whole keep is aware of that as a matter of fact. I want to know who injured you.” 
“No one injured me.” (Y/N) said, and Rhaenyra paused her washing of his face at the honesty in his tone. 
“What do you mean?” 
“A dragon claimed me.” 
“You claimed a dragon?” 
“No,” (Y/N) said, wincing internally at how ridiculous he must sound. “I did not claim it, it claimed me.” 
“A dragon is not an it.” Rhaenyra chastised, swatting him on the shoulder. “Which dragon?” 
(Y/N) had not thought that far. Truthfully he knew little of his father’s family history, Maester Pate always cuffed him when he adamantly refused to study the books. He knew nothing of the dragon that found him last night, except that it was more stubborn than himself if such a thing was possible. 
“I do not know.” (Y/N) admitted. “It was bronze, like my house's sigil, and huge. I felt like a babe as it towered over me.” 
“Bronze?” Rhaenyra froze, eyes widening. 
“Yes.” 
Rhaenyra’s face broke out into a grin. “That is Vermithor.” 
“The dragon missing from Dragonstone?” 
“Yes, our great-grandfather Jaehaerys was his rider once.” Rhaenyra seemed ecstatic at the news, but (Y/N) could not help the fury that flared within him. It could be no coincidence that the dragon that left Dragonstone upon his father’s arrival on the island would claim him. Rhaenyra seemed to notice his worsening mood and frowned. “You do not seem happy.” 
“A dragon is the last thing I want, Rhaenyra.” (Y/N) said. “I am not like you, I do not take pride in being a Targaryen.” 
Rhaenyra drew away from him at his words, placing the dirty cloth back in the bowl of water. “I will make sure the maester finds his way to you, cousin.”
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Rhaenyra was angry with him, that much (Y/N) was sure of. 
Since the morning he’d returned bloody and bruised and with a new dragon in tow, she had not spoken to him outside of their council visits, and even then her words were short and clipped. Once (Y/N) would have been grateful for his betrothed to show such contempt for him, the hope of a broken betrothal would have raised his spirits to new heights. But after weeks of enjoying Rhaenyra’s friendship, he could not bring himself to feel anything other than bored. 
While he still had little desire for a wedding, let alone one his father had arranged for him, he did wish for his betrothal to Rhaenyra to end. He did not love the girl more than anyone loved a friend, but perhaps one day he would bring himself to. She was comely enough for (Y/N) to admit his attraction toward her, and she was pleasant enough company that he would not mind being tied to her for the rest of his life. 
He had always known his marriage would be political, and was grateful that his intended was someone who understood him as much as Rhaenyra did. But he still feared that the quickness of their betrothal would forever stain their marriage, they did not love each other and probably would not for some time. 
Still, he could not have his future wife not speaking to him before their marriage was even official. 
The Dragonkeepers had sought him out a few days ago, claiming that Vermithor was restless and they had tried everything. He tried to tell them that he had no wish to properly claim the dragon and that they should just let him return to Dragonstone. Alas, it did not work that way and if (Y/N) continued to ignore their bond he would just cause Vermithor and himself more harm than necessary. 
So he made the lengthy trip up to the Dragonpit, without Rhaenyra this time. He made the trip every day until Vermithor was calm enough to be saddled and the Dragonkeepers determined his mastery of the dragon well enough to fly. He’d nearly fainted the first time Vermithor took off, but soon enough discovered that this was the fresh air he’d been dreaming of since leaving Runestone. 
He tried to keep his distance from the dragon, telling himself he was doing this only because it seemed he had no choice, but as the weeks passed on he found himself looking forward to his daily lessons with Dragonkeepers. 
Rhaenyra had begun talking to him again when she learned of his lesson, most likely from his father, and he was so relieved to have his friend back that he didn’t bother holding a grudge against the girl.
Her first wish, demand more like, upon their reacquaintance was to go flying. (Y/N) had mused that they’d done that before but Rhaenyra just rolled her eyes and insisted. This time (Y/N) would no longer be a spectator on the ground as she had her fun, he would be joining her in the skies. 
He was nervous on their ride up to the Dragonpit. Vermithor had become considerably more docile than when he first arrived at the Dragonpit, but there were still days that (Y/N) feared for the safety of those unfortunate enough to bear the dragon’s scorn. 
He watched anxiously as Vermithor crawled out from the Dragonpit, tilting his head side to side in search of his rider. (Y/N) approached him, laughing quietly to himself as the dragon pushed his snout into (Y/N)’s chest. He whispered calming words in his ancestral tongue, informing the dragon that they had a guest and he must behave.
When Vermithor stilled (Y/N) held his hand out to Rhaenyra, much like she had done when introducing him to Syrax. She approached the dragon slowly, looking up at him in awe. 
(Y/N) remembered that this was her great-grandfather’s dragon; she'd probably grew up on stories of Vermithor as much as she had his rider. 
(Y/N) pressed her hand against Vermithor’s nose, whispering calming words to the dragon as he huffed. After what felt like an eternity of anxious waiting, Vermithor calmed, blinking slowly at his rider’s betrothed. He heard Rhaenyra laugh next to him and he turned to catch her eye. She was still looking up at his dragon in awe. 
“You’ve done very well with little training.” Rhaenyra said, rubbing her hands down Vermithor’s snout. 
“Perhaps I am more Targaryen than I wish to be.” (Y/N) smiled at his betrothed, and Rhaenyra just nodded her head, smiling at him.
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gliphyartfan · 3 days ago
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Hiii I'm back with another hug ask, bc the last one was cute and lu has been stuck on my brain for literal months now (help). Feel free to ignore if it's not your thing
I think I sent this to another blog but I'm curious to hear your take on it: yan chain w/ reader who doesn't know what hugs even are and just freezes up anytime they're given an ounce of affection. I'm such a sucker for characters who have no idea how to react when they're given positive attention. They're standing there while Hyrule is hugging them thinking he's gonna pull out a knife at any moment. They sleep with their own under their pillow
Oh, Anon, this is GOLD. You know the Chain is gonna be all over this.
The first time it happens, it’s Hyrule who does it first because of course it is. Sweet forest boy is naturally affectionate, so it just happens. Maybe Reader got a little scraped up in a fight or looked particularly exhausted, and Hyrule, being the ball of sunshine he is, decided a hug was the best way to comfort them.
He wraps his arms around them, all smiles, and says like, “You’re safe now!”
And Reader? Reader is just standing there like a stone statue. Frozen. Wideeyed. Heart pounding in fear because why is he hugging me and what’s his angle?!
Hyrule notices immediately. He pulls back, confused but concerned. “Are you okay?” he asks, tilting his head, while Reader just stares at him like he might pull out a knife any second. (Cause what he doesn’t know is that she was about to do that.)
Hyrule tells the others because, let’s be real, he doesn’t know how to process what just happened. And the Chain? Oh, they have feelings.
Wild is immediately like, “What do you mean they don’t know what hugs are?!” He’s borderline offended on Reader’s behalf.
Legend acts like it’s no big deal but lowkey feels awful about it. He’s been there, and he gets it, even if he’d never admit it out loud.
Sky is heartbroken ya know. This man probably cries about it later when no one’s looking.
Twilight is all quiet and broody, vowing to make Reader feel safe enough to accept affection.
Warriors? Oh, he’s dramatic as ever. “How could anyone deny them affection? They’re so precious!”
Four is quietly determined to fix it. He doesn’t say much, but you know he’s planning ways to help. (He’s…gonna have to go back to the drawing board a few several times when his plans keep failing)
Wind is confused at first but quickly makes it his personal mission to introduce Reader to all the hugs. He gives his sister and grandma hugs all the time! It’s a travesty NOT to hug and be hugged!
Time just gives one of those cryptic nods like he already knows but doesn’t elaborate. (He’s clueless but he’s gonna fix that.)
They’re obsessed with figuring out why Reader freezes at hugs. Who hurt them? Who dared deny them love and warmth? The thought keeps them awake at night, eating away at them until they’re ready to tear apart the entire world to find answers.
They need to be the ones to break through to Reader. It’s not just about helping; it’s about being the one Reader finally trusts, the one they lean on and allow into their heart.
I thiiiiink, Hyrule is the most persistent but gentle. He starts with small touches, a pat on the shoulder here, a light hand on their arm there, until Reader gets used to him.
Wild probably makes it into a game. He’ll casually lean against Reader, ruffle their hair, or throw an arm around their shoulders. Before they know it, they’re comfortable with him.
Twilight is careful. Like he’s dealing with a nervous animal. He waits until Reader is truly comfortable before trying anything, and even then, it’s just a warm hand on their back or a brief side hug.
Sky is the king of asking for permission. “Would it be okay if I hugged you?” And when Reader hesitantly agrees, he gives the softest, warmest hug imaginable.
Legend is… awkward. He doesn’t know how to express affection without it being weird, so he just gives them stiff, quick hugs and pretends it’s no big deal. (I think she’d be more comfortable with him since if HE’S awkward about it just like SHE is, then he’s not up to anything malicious and she’s totally okay with that. They both become cuddle bugs eventually. Much to his touch starved enjoyment.)
Warriors is surprisingly patient. He loves affection, but he reins it in for Reader’s sake. When he finally gets a hug, though? He makes it dramatically playful.
Four (eventually after many failures) takes the practical route. He offers hugs as rewards for little victories, like, “Good job today,” and eventually, Reader starts to look forward to them.
Wind is a menace. He sneaks up behind Reader for surprise hugs, then laughs when they freeze. But he quickly lets go so she only tenses for a second and doesn’t have time to really register what he did. But he’s also the first to cheer when they start relaxing.
Time is slow and steady. He probably waits until she’s more used to the others. His hugs are grounding and calm, offered when Reader seems like they need them most.
When they find out about the knife, it’s a…moment. Sky is devastated. (he’s also secretly furious that Reader ever felt unsafe enough to need it.)
Twilight is like, “That’s…practical…I suppose. but you don’t need it anymore. We’re here.” And he means it. (She still has it much to his dismay.)
Wild? Legend? Wind and Hyrule? They are just like, “Oh, that’s smart. I do the same thing.”
Warriors (who also sleeps with a knife cause ya know, soldier.) probably offers to buy them a better knife because, in his mind, better protection means better sleep. (Wild and Warriors definitely
The others are a mix of concerned and quietly determined to make Reader feel safe enough to sleep without it. I mean, I have no doubt they would all try to take the knife from her but when she shrinks away from them and doesn’t interact as much because of that, they’ll eventually give it back…kinda..they’ll spend a while trying to convince her she doesn’t need it but uh…it doesn’t work. (Even when she later on enjoys hugs from them.)
When Reader finally hugs one of them back, it’s Hyrule. Of course, it’s Hyrule.
He’s hugging them after another battle, telling them how glad he is that they’re okay, when he feels their arms wrap around him, hesitantly, awkwardly, but it’s there.
Hyrule freezes for a second, then breaks into the brightest smile. “You hugged me!” he says, voice full of joy, and everyone else immediately demands to know what just happened.
Every small victory,a brief touch, a hesitant smile, is like a drug to them. It’s not enough. It’s never enough. They want more, and they want it now.
When Reader finally hugs Hyrule back, the Chain is…. not okay.
Sure, they’re happy for him (on the surface), but deep down, they’re seething with jealousy. Why him? Why not them?
From that moment on, it’s a competition. They’re all trying to outdo each other, looking for any excuse to be the next one Reader hugs.
If Reader so much as leans on one of them for support, the others are immediately trying to replicate the situation to get the same reaction. It’s not just affection they crave.
It’s to know Reader trusts them more than she does the others.
…aaaand…that’s it! That’s all I got. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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anxiousapplepie · 2 days ago
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I already said it in the tags of your post, but your Rose Knights world is very cool and has been rotating in my brain for the past couple hours lol. I would love to hear more about these characters if you want to share!!
MY BUDDY considering my Rose Knight tag atm doesn't have a lot of stuff in it??? that is deeply amusing and incredibly cool you've latched onto these vibes so much! thank you! <3 Also you've just said the magic words mate and I'm about to dump a bunch of character information and also some art for good measure! >:3
I've already talked a lil about Lapis and Jim, so lets talk about another one of my favorite idiots:
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This is George! He's Lapis' *ahem* "big brother" and partner in crime, and a major pain in the neck for anybody who's trying to have a normal day without anything breaking or coming to life unexpectedly XD George grew up in the woods without getting much contact from either Roses or Dragons, but his parents made sure he had a... 'well-rounded' education and as much enrichment a kid like him could get in the circumstances.
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He's also the first one to learn that Lapis' hair color wasn't actually blue. Between knowing her origins and needing to keep her fake hair a secret from everybody else, he's very protective of his 'little sister' and won't hesitate to leer ominously over her head and give a very toothy smile to anybody who dares imply she's anything less than amazing and brilliant.
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Lapis is also extremely fond of this lanky and awkwardly genuine doofus :3 She might not trust him with her valuables, but she'll trust him with her life and he's the first one she'll go to if she has a metaphorical body to bury.
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alfredojesta · 3 days ago
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OC post but it's for jason the toymaker rewrite (THIS IS NOT AN OC X CANON POST I WILL BREAK DOWN SOBBING IF ANYONE THINKS ITS OC X CANON THANK YOU) (TS IS UNHEALTHY AS FUCK!!!!!!!) i wanna provide some info because i've been chipping away at this rework for a bit now and i've got. the basics if you will.
Margarethe is basically my version of Maggie (from Jason's OG story if you've read it you know) and Lizbeth is her sister (she acts as the replacement for Daisy. again if you've read the story you know LOL). they're VERY different in the rewrite. the only part i kept the same was Maggie's amnesia and dead parents
Marge is a 30 smth y/o woman with amnesia and she starts dating Jason who then proceeds to gaslight her for 3 years straight in an unhealthy relationship that ends with Marge getting turned to yet another doll. she works at a daycare before Jason tells her to quit because. erm. her job isn't that important anyway. Jason only dated her because she reminded him a lot of Amelia (and my version of Jason is always looking for a new Amelia to fill his void). Jason used her amnesia to his advantage, constantly demeaning her for her shitty memory and then reassuring her that her health problems don't make her any less deserving of good things
Lizbeth is Marge's fun-going half-sister who's a year younger. she's married to a wealthy guy and therefore uses his money for anything and everything. she met Jason first! she was like "WOAH YOUR TOY SHOP IS BEAUTIFUL MY SISTER WOULD LOVE IT HERE I'VE GOT TO BRING HER" BUT. the time between when she met Jason and when she introduced him to Marge was like... 7 years. because Marge was in a coma from when she was 15 to when she was 20. then for 7 years, Lizbeth forgot Jason existed until she was strolling London with Marge. only then did Lizbeth go "HOLY CRUD!!! I WONDER IF THAT TOY SHOP IS STILL OPEN!!!" and dragged Marge to the toy shop
anyway Jason doesn't like Lizbeth. funnily enough he always thought her name was Elizabeth which goes to show how little he cared about her LMFAO the last thing he ever said to her, when Lizbeth came to his flat sobbing about Marge being missing, was "I never liked you, Elizabeth." (then he shut the door on her and she stood frozen for a good minute.)
Marge loves Jason like she thought it was so cool he started his own business but it slowly dives into concern. As it always does. she gets confused abt his motives. she has so many memory gaps and Jason is alw telling her what happened (she can really only trust his word) she's left alone a lot but Jason also isolates her from others. she works until Jason tells her its better if she takes time off bc of her health. Marge cant say the same for Jason even tho hes constantly working. she in fact wanted to make connections with other people, and that is when they started to argue frequently. Jason became frustrated because why the hell is he putting so much effort into this woman (and then he decided, after a bit, he needed to fix her so he turns her into a doll.)
(There is no world where Jason can have a healthy relationship with a woman as long as Amelia is apart of his life. Jason sees all the women in his life as projects to work on and perfect. That's why he wants to keep them and gets angry when they try to leave. At that point, they've broken themselves again. And the only way to then perfect them is by turning them into a doll.)
this is also where mr. bunny comes into play because Marge wanted to purchase him and that's how she interacted with Jason for the first time. the fact Marge was a daycare assistant meant she was able to get free toys from Jason LOL it's sweet in theory but Jason thought acts of services were just ways to keep Marge at bay ^_^ so she wont consider leaving. god bless his stupid fucking brain and its dumbass way of thinking
n e way their relationship was toxic as fuck but was Jason's longest relationship . he only saw her as a replacement for Amelia though so it's safe to say he never truly loved her.
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variousqueerthings · 3 days ago
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keep thinking the Enduring Image of their relationship for me isn't the romantic-looking her reaching for him on the train. it's before that at the peep show
she emotionally fucks with him to such an extent (and for so many days -- i need to think of how much sleep he gets because i think "barely any" about covers it, that man is operating on a loopy fucking brain by the time the train scene happens) that he breaks down sobbing (on his own, the first - and so far last - time we've seen him that broken up) and then gets him to come to a Peep Show to see her -- something that is totally outside of his code of being and his comfort level, and makes everything seedy and transactional between them -- and then the way it's framed puts her in the seat of objectifying him, which was such a narrative and visual Choice
it's the way she's always framed as watching him by the presence of her reflection, but outside of the opening few lines and when she says "i need you" she's always shot like this:
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in control of the scene, because after all, she set it all up to be exactly like this and he's doing everything she tells him to. she is objectifying him and not the other way around
(which, is the "i need you" framed with fraser in-shot because she's performing for him as an audience and not for us-the-audience only, and it reiterates that she's not for real....?)
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compared with fraser throughout the whole conversation:
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on re-watch there are several parts of victoria's side of the dialogue that focus on fraser's reaction to what is being said to him -- the camera is on his tired, distraught face for well over half of the scene. we are watching him like victoria is watching him, through the glass reacting to her words, like he's on display... at a fucking peep show that she made him come to!
meanwhile most of the time when he's speaking we don't know what her in-the-moment reactions to him are, because all of his lines also focus on him. we're deliberately kept as much in the dark about her reactions as possible. it's not an equal back-and-forth, it's her digging in the knife and enjoying his distress (again, and i just cannot get over this, at a peep show)
AND THE SCENE PROPER:
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VICTORIA: Hi.
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FRASER: You must really hate me for what I did.
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VICTORIA: Yeah. Hate. Love. Those two emotions about cover it. FRASER: The girl in the car wreck was your sister.
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VICTORIA: She borrowed my car. The police just assumed it was me. I had an opportunity. I took it. Fooled everybody. FRASER: Except Jolly. VICTORIA: Except Jolly. There were only two ways to end that relationship. One of them was with me dead.
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FRASER: What do you want, Victoria?
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VICTORIA: You. FRASER: No, you don't.
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VICTORIA: Why do you think I did all of this?
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FRASER: Revenge.
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VICTORIA: Maybe. But I need you. I want you to go away with me.
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FRASER: You know I can't do that.
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VICTORIA: Why not? You don't have much to stick around here for. You won't like prison.
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FRASER: I'm sorry.
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VICTORIA: [her voice shakes] I'm sorry, too.
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[her voice immediately hardens] Because I need you to make an exchange. If you don't, there's a key. This key fits a locker. In this locker is twenty-five thousand dollars in sequentially numbered bills. The key is at your friend Ray's house. You have one hour to decide, and then I call Internal Affairs and tell them where to find it.
[the money runs out and the screen goes down]
also, in my heart, this woman killed her sister. she loves the drama of the Narrative, she came back into fraser's life full of stories she was telling about how she'd take away everything in his life that distracted him from her and she'd leave him no choice but to come with her or go to jail and all of this was definitely love... so yeah, her sister dying in a tragic accident and people just assuming it was her not long after she was released from prison..... doesn't sit right with me considering how much she plans these narratives out + i think fraser's subtle headshake after she tells the whole story suggests that he doesn't buy it either
victoria: my sister mysteriously died and then i just had to kill my old partner in a way that would implicate you so you don't have any choice but to love me, which you owe me anyway because you feel bad about putting me in jail back in the day *bats eyelashes* anyway I'm gonna send your best friend away for life if you don't commit crimes and run away with me... also you're definitely An Object to me
(all of this on the back of a show in which fraser is objectified constantly anyway.... wild)
i guess where i land on the victoria x fraser dynamic is that i wanna notch it up juuuust that little bit more to make it fucked up in a way that i feel like the show was dancing around a bit and not quite committing to, although it did lean on it a fair few times (especially when taking in the conversation with his dead dad where he confronts him). i do feel like -- setting aside that she was a big-time criminal from the beginning -- considering she:
fucked with fraser's head by making him think he'd seen her several times before she actually appeared (and then pretended it was a coincidence, and the thing about fraser is... he trusts people too much, he's an overly literal autism-coded takes-them-at-their-word guy, it's such a good gauge for how easily she can mess with him afterwards, like damn girl, how much did you learn about him back in that snowstorm??)
shot diefenbaker (with intent to kill)
manipulated fraser pretty much the entire time -- pushing his buttons (first playing soft and flustered, then going hard on the guilt which was immediately followed by taking him to bed WHICH IT WAS TRIGGER!SNOWING DURING DAMN, then disappearing and making him desperate to find her, constantly having him running for her right up to the train...)
fucked with his head again by getting rid of all her fingerprints + presumably hair in his flat so that everyone thought he was lying, crazy fucking level of going about all this
destroyed his father's cabin
blackmailed him into putting himself in serious danger, and then attempted to blackmail him further in order to, essentially, force him to come with her (so... attempted kidnapping, with the addition of trying to frame him as a criminal in order to further force his hand)
attempted to frame ray and get him arrested for her crimes, despite promising fraser that she wouldn't do that if he helped her (which, to be fair, at that point he no longer trusted)
there's a lot suggesting that she's just pretty straightforwardly a villain, there's no reason why she wouldn't keep fucking with fraser if he had assented to come with her. there's a lot suggesting that her little "you'll regret not coming with me" is as much a game as everything else she does. there's a lot of material to play with where one could lean into fraser as a deeply lonely person who was easily taken advantage of (after all, it's established he doesn't really "get" what love is supposed to be about -- so why not about all of the above?)
it's just unfortunate that the show ultimately framed as this ships in the night thing or something, and not... just a straightforward fucked up violation on her part. it weakens her presence in the story, assuming she never returns. like i'd want her to be this Force that eats into him and his sense of identity, not as a "what if I'd gotten on the train to run away with my one true love"
(and I like @pigtailedgirl's read of the train as self-destruction in terms of his speech in the episode letting go: "i think you do care. i think you care so deeply that when he betrayed you, you tried to do the only thing that made sense, you tried to destroy yourself. don't let him do that to you." -- it makes that train ending sooo much more full of Stuff)
i can play with it, for sure
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softersinned · 2 years ago
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@xfindingtrouble said: ❛  please ,  please ,  please -  ❜ from percy :)
He's perfect like this.
Her grip on his jaw is firm, almost unforgiving, and she keeps his face turned towards her. Everything about him, from the uneven flush in his cheeks to that kiss-reddened mouth, inspires the sort of awe she'd once thought she'd outgrown. Then again, he always does that, doesn't he? Creates such an honest, unexpected wonder? Astoria's eyes are hungry as they sweep across his face, and she bows her head, presses an almost reverent kiss to the flutter of his pulse in his throat.
"I love you like this," she says softly, voice muffled against their neck, lips dragging over their skin. It's hardly news—she loves them any way she can have them, though this is, admittedly, something special—but she says it with all the honest fervor of the first time she admired them. "Watching you come undone for me. I can never get enough of it." Another kiss, this time to the corner of their jaw, barely an inch from the iron grip of her fingers. "I could spend my next century watching you and still want more. Look at me, sweet thing."
She lifts her head so she can meet his eyes. Beneath her, Percy is unraveling, and he brings his fevered gaze to meet hers, and Astoria's lips curl up in an impossibly fond, entirely indulgent smile. (It's the one way in which she will always, always fail him: no matter how hard, how cruel he asks her to be, she cannot keep herself from looking at him like this.) He opens his mouth to speak, and she moves the hand at his jaw only enough to let one of her fingers fall past his parted lips, brushing over his front teeth.
"I'll tell you when you can speak," she says, rather adoringly, loosening her grip only enough for him to nod in understanding. There is something to be said for commanding his silence—not that she isn't perpetually enchanted by the sound of his voice, but simply that she likes to know she can exert such consistent control. Fuck, but his eyes are the most beautiful shade of green. She always thinks she knows this, and then she looks at him and she loses her focus again. Just like that stunning curve of his lower lip, the breathtaking angles of his jaw—
Years, decades of learning absolute control mean that she's able to move only as much as she'd like. Her bent legs bracket his hips, and she hovers just above him, careful not to lower herself too far, her heels digging gently into his thighs to keep him from arching up to meet her. The hand not at his jaw is settled over his sternum, though she lifts it now to give him room to move.
"Up, my love," she instructs. "On your elbows." Percy complies at once, pushing themselves up at an angle she knows they can't keep indefinitely. She releases them and leans forward, reaches to pull the pillows down to their shoulders to help keep them comfortable so she can take her time. Her hands card through their hair, fingers tangling in the silver strands, and she tugs lightly, just enough to make their eyes widen and prompt a sharp intake of breath. The rest of her body doesn't move.
"Gods," she breathes, "but you are beautiful. You are so beautiful." And he is. Astoria is utterly enraptured by the hint of a wrinkle beginning between his eyebrows from the persistence of his thoughtful frown, as much as by the promise of laughter lines around his mouth. She has memorized the location and shape of each scar, has learned the landscape of his body a hundred times over now with her fingers, her lips, her teeth, her tongue. "So perfect for me. My sweet love. The whole of my heart. You have been so good for me tonight."
One of her hands moves to his chin, and she drags the pad of her thumb gently along his lower lip. She presses her heels harder against his thighs; she thinks she might leave bruises there. "Speak," she instructs warmly. "Tell me who I belong to."
"Me." The answer comes readily. They know exactly what she wants to hear. "You belong to me. You're mine."
"That's right. I'm yours. I am yours, unconditionally and entirely. I spent a hundred years waiting for you without even knowing who you were, and every second was worth it, to have you here with me. To have you like this. I would have waited a thousand to have you here." He flushes a beautiful pink with pleasure at that, and Astoria leans forward, presses her lips to his in a long, lingering kiss. "And who do you belong to?"
"You."
"Yes." She releases his chin, curls her hand very gently around his throat. She feels the tension in his arms, his thighs; he wants so badly to move, to wrap his hands around her hips and pull her closer, closer, closer, but he refrains, waits for instruction. "You are mine. You're so precious to me." Her free hand moves, and she pushes her hair back, only for it to fall around them in a curtain of waves, as if to block out the rest of the world. "You mean more to me than anything or anyone. Oh, Percy." She kisses him again, and again. "My Percy. You've been so good for me. You're always so good for me. Tell me what you want, beloved."
He tries to speak, and he can't quite manage it; Astoria takes mercy on him. Another night, she'd tease, she'd torment, make him speak if he could, but she's as desperate for him as he is for her, now.
"Do you want me to touch you?" He nods. "Do you want me to fuck you?"
They find their voice this time. "Yes."
She releases him, lifts her head. "I'll do anything for you," she breathes. "I'll give you everything you want. Everything. Say it for me. Beg me."
"Please. Please."
"Sit up. Fuck." She lowers herself just barely as he follows her instructions, but still not enough. He lets out a desperate whine that very nearly breaks her. She's aching for him, wet and needy and clinging desperately to the ever-thinning last threads of her self control. "Fuck. I love you. I love you so much. My perfect darling. My sweet perfect darling. I love to hear you beg for me."
Percy's arms wind around her, his hands at her back, his fingernails digging into her skin at her shoulders. "Please," he practically whimpers, and she leans forward to kiss him again, as if even a moment with so little distance between them is intolerable. "Please, please, please—"
"So beautiful," she murmurs. "So beautiful, and mine. Only mine. Do you have any idea how much I adore you?"
"Yes," he says at once, his voice vehement, his expression fierce, and somehow, she loves him more for it.
"Keep your eyes on me," she instructs, her own voice nearing a whine. "I want to watch you come for me. Can you do that?"
"Yes."
"My beautiful love," she whispers against his mouth, "so good for me, so perfect, always so perfect, and mine. You're so good for me." Slowly, tortuously slowly, she lowers herself onto him. "Fuck. Fuck. I love you." She could say it a thousand times, and still need to tell him again. "Tell me what you want, darling. Tell me exactly what you want."
They hold her so close, so tight she almost thinks they want to climb into her chest, settle within her rib cage. When they ask her to bite them, voice breathless and uneven, her skin breaking under their fingernails, she sinks her teeth into the scarred flesh of his throat. His blood is richer than any wine, sweeter than honey, and she only takes enough that he'll taste a hint of copper on her lips and tongue when she lifts her head and kisses him.
He comes undone beneath her, chest heaving, hips stuttering in their movements, and all the greatest artworks of the centuries can't compare to the shape of their parted lips and the mess of their hair and the desperate need in their eyes as they pull her closer, closer still.
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acourtofquestions · 2 months ago
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No. No, it couldn't have been a dream The escape, Rowan, the ship to Terrasen—
A dream. An illusion. Her escape from him, from Maeve, had been another illusion.
Had she said it? Had she said where the Keys were hidden?
Then a cool, cultured voice purred, "All that training, and this is what becomes of you?" Not real. Arobynn, standing on the other side of the altar, was not real.
"Even Sam held out better than this."
Fenrys snarled.
You could get out of these chains, if you really wanted," Arobynn said, frowning with distaste. "If you really tried."
No, she couldn't, and everything had been a dream, a lie.
"You let yourself remain captive. Because the moment you are free..." Arobynn chuckled. "Then you must offer yourself up, a lamb to slaughter."
Only hearing the King of the Assassins, unseen and unnoted beside her.
"Deep down, you're hoping you'll be here long enough that the young King of Adarlan will pay the price. Deep down, you know you're hiding here, waiting for him to clear the path." Arobynn leaned against the side of the altar, cleaning his nails with a dagger. "Deep down, you know it's not really fair, that those gods picked you. That Elena picked you instead of him. She bought you time to live, yes, but you were still chosen to pay the price. Her price And the gods'?"
Arobynn ran a long-fingered hand down the side of her face. "Do you see what I tried to spare you from all these years? What you might have avoided had you remained Celaena, remained with me?" He smiled. "Do you see, Aelin?"
She could not answer. Had no voice. Cairn hit bone, and—
Aelin lunged upward, hands grasping for her thigh. No chains weighed her. No mask smothered her. No dagger had been twisted into her body. Breathing hard, the scent of musty sheets clinging to her nose, the sounds of her screaming replaced by the drowsy chirping of birds, Aelin scrubbed at her face.
The prince who'd fallen asleep beside her was already running a hand down her back in silent, soothing strokes.
A dream. Just a dream.
She twisted, setting her feet to the threadbare carpet on the uneven wood floor.
"Dawn isn't for another hour," Rowan said.
Yet Aelin reached for her shirt. "I'll get warmed up, then." Maybe run, as she had not been able to do in weeks and weeks.
Rowan sat up, missing nothing. "Training can wait, Aelin." They'd been doing it for weeks now, as thorough and grueling as it had been at Mistward.
She shoved her legs into her pants, then buckled on her sword belt.
"No, it can't."
A gathering storm to the north had forced their ship to find harbor last night—and after weeks at sea, none of them had hesitated to spend a few hours on land. To learn what in hell had happened while they'd been gone.
The answer: war.
Everywhere, war raged. But where the fighting occurred, the aging innkeeper didn't know. Boats didn't stop at the port anymore— and the great warships just sailed past. Whether they were enemy or friendly, he also didn't know.
Aelin scowled. "What." It wasn't so much of a question as demand.
His gaze was unfaltering. As it had been when she'd returned from her run through the misty fields beyond the inn and found him leaning against the apple tree. "That's enough for today."
"We've hardly started." She lifted her blade.
Rowan kept his own lowered. "You barely slept last night."
Aelin tensed. "Bad dreams." An understatement. She lifted her chin and threw him a grin. "Perhaps I'm starting to wear you down a bit."
His canines gleamed. "You need to eat."
"I need to train."
She couldn't stop it-that need to do something. To be in motion.
No matter how many times she swung her blade, she could feel them. The shackles. And whenever she paused to rest, she could feel it, too—her magic. Waiting.
Indeed, it seemed to open an eye and yawn.
She clenched her jaw, and attacked again Rowan met each blow, and she knew her maneuvers were descending into sloppiness.
Knew he let her continue rather than seizing the many openings to end it.
She couldn't stop. War raged around them People were dying. And she had been locked in that damned box, had been taken apart again and again, unable to do anything.
Rowan struck, so fast she couldn't track it. But it was the foot he slid before her own that doomed her, sending her careening into the dirt.
"I win," he panted. "Let's eat."
Aelin glared up at him. "Another round."
Rowan just sheathed his sword. "After breakfast."
She growled. He growled right back.
"Don't be stupid," he said. "You'll lose all that muscle if you don't feed your body. So eat. And if you still want to train afterward, I'll train with you." He offered her a tattooed hand.
But Aelin said, "People are dying. In Terrasen. In-everywhere. People are dying, Rowan."
"Your eating breakfast isn't going to change that." Her lips curled in a snarl, but he cut her off. "I know people are dying. We are going to help them. But you need to have some strength left, or you won't be able to."
Truth. Her mate spoke truth. And yet she could see them, hear them. Those dying, frightened people. Whose screams so often sounded like her own.
Rowan wriggled his fingers in silent reminder. Shall we?
Aelin scowled and took his hand, letting him haul her to her feet. So pushy.
Rowan slid an arm around her shoulders. That's the most polite thing you've ever said about me.
Elide's eyes widened. Widened further as he opened his mouth, and took a bite. His swallow was audible. His cringe barely contained. Elide reined in her smile at the pure misery that entered the Lion's tawny stare. Aelin and Rowan had been finishing up a similar battle when she'd entered the taproom minutes ago, the queen wishing her luck before striding back into the courtyard.
Elide hadn't seen her sit still for longer than it took to eat a meal. Or during the hours when she'd instructed them in Wyrdmarks, after Rowan had requested she teach them.
It had gotten her out of the chains, the prince had explained. And if the ilken were resistant to their magic, then learning the ancient marks would come in handy with all they faced ahead. The battles both physical and magic.
Gavriel met her stare, and Elide again restrained her laugh.
She felt, rather than saw, Lorcan enter. The innkeeper instantly found somewhere else to be. The man hadn't been surprised to see five Fae enter his inn last night, so his vanishing whenever Lorcan appeared was certainly due to the glower the male had perfected.
Indeed, Lorcan took one look at Elide and Gavriel and left the dining room.
They'd barely spoken these weeks. Elide hadn't known what to even say. A member of this court. Her court. Forever.
He and Aelin certainly hadn't warmed toward each other. No, only Rowan and Gavriel really spoke to him. Fenrys, despite his promise to Aelin not to fight with Lorcan, ignored him most of the time. And Elide ... She'd made herself scarce often enough that Lorcan hadn't bothered to approach her.
Good. It was good. Even if she sometimes found herself opening her mouth to speak to him. Watching him as he listened to Aelin's lessons on the Wyrdmarks. Or while he trained with the queen, the rare moments when the two of them weren't at each other's throats.
Aelin had been returned to them. Was recovering as best she could.
Elide didn't taste her next bite of porridge. Gavriel, thankfully, said nothing. And Anneith didn't speak, either. Not a whisper of guidance. It was better that way. To listen to herself. Better that Lorcan kept his distance, too.
Whether the others knew what propelled her, they hadn't said a word. Aelin sheathed Goldryn and loosed a long breath. Deep down, her power grumbled. She flexed her fingers. Maeve's cold, pale face flashed before her eyes. Her magic went silent.
Fenrys sat in wolf form at the edge of the nearest field, staring out across the expanse.
Precisely where he'd been before dawn.
She let him hear her steps, his ears twitching. He shifted as she approached, and leaned against the half-rotted fence surrounding the field.
"Who'd you piss off to get the graveyard shift?" Aelin asked, wiping the sweat from her brow.
Fenrys snorted and ran a hand through his hair. "Would you believe I volunteered for it?" She arched a brow. He shrugged, watching the field again, the mists still clinging to its farthest reaches. "I don't sleep well these days." He cut her a sidelong glance. "I don't suppose I'm the only one."
She picked at the blister on her right hand, hissing. "We could start a secret society-for people who don't sleep well."
"As long as Lorcan isn't invited, I'm in."
Aelin huffed a laugh. "Let it go."
His face turned stony. "I said I would."
"You clearly haven't."
"I'll let it go when you stop running yourself ragged at dawn."
"I'm not running myself ragged. Rowan is overseeing it."
"Rowan is the only reason you're not limping everywhere."
Truth. Aelin curled her aching hands into fists and slid them into her pockets. Fenrys said nothing didn't ask why she didn't warm her fingers. Or the air around them. He just turned to her and blinked three times. Are you all right?
A gull's cry pierced the gray world, and Aelin blinked back twice. No. It was as much as she'd admit. She blinked again, thrice now. Are you all right?
Two blinks from him, too. No,
They were not alright.
They might never be. If the others knew, if they saw past the swagger and temper, they didn't let on.
None of them commented that Fenrys hadn't once used his magic to leap between places. Not that there was anywhere to go in the middle of the sea. But even when they sparred, he didn't wield it. Perhaps it had died with Connall. Perhaps it had been a gift they had both shared, and touching it was unbearable.
She didn't dare peer inward, to the churning sea inside her. Couldn't.
Aelin and Fenrys stood by the field as the sun arced higher, burning off the mists.
Aelin shook her head. Another dream, or hallucination. "If she's on our heels with this army, I'm just ... trying to understand it. Her, I mean."
"You plan to kill her." The gruel in her stomach turned over, but Aelin shrugged. Even as she tasted ash on her tongue.
"Would you prefer to do it?"
"I'm not sure I'd survive it," he said through his teeth. "And you have more of a reason to claim it than I do."
"I'd say we have an equal claim."
His dark eyes roved over her face. "Connall was a better male than—than how you saw him that time. Than what he was in the end."
She gripped his hand and squeezed. "I know."
The last of the mists vanished. Fenrys asked quietly, "Do you want me to tell you about it?" He didn't mean his brother.
She shook her head. "I know enough." She surveyed her cold, blistered hands. "I know enough," she repeated.
#Chapter 44#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aelin Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Fenrys#Rowaelin#Throne of Glass series#no spoilers please this is my first read to read along with me there will be book & chapter spoilers in post & tags with more in tags etc.#Fenrys and Aelin#the Mistward references are getting me man everytime they go full circle ow my soul but aw my heart but ahh my brain#YOU DID NOT JUST REFERENCE SAM CORTLAND IN COMPARISON OH MY GODS MY SOUL IM DEAD NOW HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US BB GIRL NO#the fact she can’t tell reality from nightmare because of Maeve is truly so cruel and utterly heartbreaking#the fact Cairn uses her name oh hell no it hurts on another level and the horror each time Rowan the ship a dream an illusion I didn’t brea#the fact she’s worried about if she gave up the keys then Terrasen better be kind to her now or else#Not real. the fact it’s almost a comfort to see him in horror because at least she knows it’s a nightmare with Arobynn#that’s why the little folk also worked because Maeve doesn’t know that part of the story to twist in the first place cause she isn’t an hei#the way Rowan is already there rubbing her back waiting for her on the run Fenrys is right he’s all that’s keeping her#but even in the nightmare Fenrys is there please don’t make the name Rowan calling out what’s going on in reality no fire please#new blisters for a new body oh my heart breaks every time it’s giving white pig inn vibes babe got the braid back she’s trying but he knows#his gaze was unfaltering-which one said had dreams?-I miss the easier Mistward days#truth-the way Fenrys and Aelin are both finally honest that their not okay-she is one of her people-their brain talks are back#yes elide learning where marks-the lions tawny stare- oh Elide & Lorcy#HER court-better at a distance-what had Maeve done to her magic?-graveyard shift-they know-the fact he shifts for her so they can talk#the lil Lorcan jokes lol this cadre of hers-it’s also Fenrys magic-she knows Maeve is off-the power difference-no not another attack-hurry#but Aelin could walk away from it-her vs Maeve-bitch going down in the flames of the true queen bb#Her former master gave her a half smile. Even Sam held out better than this.#So pushy. Rowan slid an arm around her shoulders. That's the most polite thing you've ever said about me#We could start a secret society-for people who don't sleep well. As long as Lorcan isn't invited I'm in.#Rowan is the only reason you're not limping everywhere.
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fushitoru · 9 days ago
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i don't wanna lose this with you a spiderman gojo fic
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pairing ⸺ spiderman!gojo x reader
summary ⸺ an amalgation of misunderstandings and stress lead to a very big fight between you and satoru, but you certainly don't expect the way he wins you back.
warnings ⸺ college au, spiderman!au, angst, hurt/comfort, i warn you reader might infurate you, but she's just a woman in stem :(, tooth rotting fluff bc he's a loser for his gf, not edited sue me
playlist ⸺ quantum rizzics
a/n you'll probably need to read the first installation (nsfw, so mdni) to understand this one :3
general masterlist | spiderman!gojo m. list
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you've blocked gojo on all platforms.
you don't really remember what caused the "break up" (you didn't really break up). maybe it's the fact that you've been stressed about grad school admissions, your dorm's floor was covered in his boxers, and he's never been able to visit you pre-3am these days. somehow, the city's criminals are determined to keep your boyfriend away from you, and maybe it was your pms, or maybe it was truly just because satoru is annoying. regardless, it's when you guys have plans that's not an impromptu healing-gojo's-wounds-in-your-dorm-at-3am sesh and you're waiting at the coffee shop that you explode.
because he was supposed to arrive ten minutes ago, and when you move to go to the bathroom, you see him. through the window, his white hair is never not noticeable, and who you see next to him makes you falter.
he's standing next to a girl with blue tinted silver hair that you recognize as mei mei, and she's gripping his upper arm as she smiles while looking at his face, his lips with such fuck me eyes that you could tell they were having some sort of intimate conversation.
and if it were an ideal day, you would know that it's all a misunderstanding, you would know your boyfriend is someone you trust. but, again, the cards were stacked against you, and the only things that go through your mind all make your eyes all glossy. he's late to the one date that you planned because you and him were finally free at the same time and you've been busy because you've been desperately applying for internships because unlike your boyfriend you don't have a plethora of papers and coding experience and you've been getting four hours of sleep on average this week and ugh you've heard a rumor that satoru used to hook up with her and fuck now your tampon is poking at you in the wrong way—
great. now tears are fully streaming down your cheeks. in public.
as you rush to the table where your stuff is your vision is so blurry that you also almost fall flat on your face as you stumble over the legs of chairs and tables. blurting out a ensemble of choked up sorry's and excuse me's you hurriedly gather your laptop and notebooks in your backpack and book it for the exit.
the biting cold stings at your face, but you nevertheless determinedly move in the opposite direction of where satoru and mei mei are situated, praying your boyfriend doesn't recognize you. however, it seems that the heavens are working against you because you hear a yelled "baby?"
you don't look back because you know a new set of tears will leave your eyes, and with it being finals season, you're not very hydrated to being with. but you hear footsteps running towards you and fuck your boyfriend's long ass legs because he quickly catches up to you. then, he grabs your hands, attempting to stop you from running away and face him.
"baby," he breathes, baby blue eyes looking into yours as he moves to kiss your forehead. you stay silent, pinning your gaze to the ground while shivering. "where are you going? aren't we supposed to hang out right now?"
look, you and gojo have a good relationship. but recently, things have gotten...strenuous lately. you guys haven't been communicating, and it might not help that half of your calorie intake was from energy drinks. or perhaps what lead you to say what you said next was driven entirely by the brain eating mold on your unwashed dishes, but dumb excuses aside, you sneer. "shouldn't you be busy doing that with mei mei, instead?"
a small part of you--the part that knows you shouldn't be like this--feels relief that hurt doesn't immediately flash across his eyes, only confusion. but lack of sleep has not only stripped away at your sanity but also your people pleasing and overthinking tendencies, leaving you only as a girl frustrated, even irrationally angry, with her boyfriend. so you only avert your gaze when he dumbfoundedly asks, "what?"
"what do you mean, "what?"" you scoff, wrenching your hand from his grasp. "you were ten minutes late to our meet-up, gojo." it is at your use of his last name, instead of your sweet my love, that the hurt you've been looking for flashes across his eyes. he moves to speak but you cut him off, no longer wishing to be here with him. "if you're so busy talking to bitches you hooked up with before, why did you even bother saying yes to hanging out with me?"
he looks at you in confusion, eyes quickly flitting back and forth across you. then, slowly, as if he's still processing the weight of your accusations, he says, "i don't exactly know what you're referring to, but let's calm down---"
and you see red.
"calm down?" you snap, voice sharp and icy, just like the wind stinging your cheeks. "did you seriously just tell me to calm down? you were late again, gojo, and i find you chatting it up with her?" you practically spit the word, arms crossing as a flimsy defense against both the cold and the ache building in your chest.
satoru blinks, his confusion genuine, but you’re too far gone to care. "wait—mei mei? is this about mei mei? she's not—"
"don’t you dare finish that sentence," you cut him off, your voice rising as your blood boils hotter. "i don't want to hear how she's just a friend, or how it's not what it looks like. i’m so tired of hearing the same bullshit excuses."
"baby, you're jumping to conclusions—"
"and you’re jumping at the chance to look like an idiot in public," you snap, your hands trembling now, either from the cold or your rising fury. "god, what do you even say to her? let me guess, you go around telling girls you're spider-man to get into their pants, huh? bet that works like a charm."
the accusation hits like a slap, and for the first time, satoru looks genuinely stunned, his mouth falling open slightly. "what the hell are you even saying right now?"
"am i wrong?" you let out a bitter laugh, one that echoes in the frosty air. "you’re late to the one date i actually planned, and i see you with her, all cozy, like i’m not even waiting for you. like i don’t even matter."
his eyebrows knit together, frustration mixing with something softer. "you seriously think i’d—"
"i don’t know what to think anymore, satoru!" the words burst out of you, your voice cracking as hot tears well in your eyes. "all i know is that i can’t keep feeling like this. like i’m some afterthought while you’re out doing—whatever it is you do. swinging through the city or flirting with your exes or—" you choke on the words, wiping at your cheeks furiously as the tears spill over. "just forget it. i’m done."
"wait." his voice is quieter now, more desperate as he steps toward you, his hand reaching out. "baby, come on, we can talk about this—"
"no," you say firmly, jerking your hand away before he can grab it. "i’m blocking you. on everything." then, mockingly, "you can figure out how to save the world without me."
his eyes widen, his mouth opening like he’s about to plead or argue, but you don’t wait for him to speak. you turn on your heel and storm away, the cold wind biting at your skin as the lump in your throat grows heavier.
you don’t look back. not when he calls your name, not when you hear his footsteps falter. you just keep walking.
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it’s 3 a.m., and you don’t know if you exist.
well, you do, but after how light you feel after you’ve cried a disgusting amount, you just lie down on your floor staring at the ceiling and contemplating the meaning of life. or more specifically, the meaning of your life, which right now feels like it’s revolving around nothing but stress and a breakup you don’t even fully understand.
you wouldn’t be having these problems if you were a childless cat lady.
but alas, you’re just a college student. in the few days where you haven’t seen satoru, you’ve finished all your finals—miraculously, considering the fragile state of your emotional wellbeing—and now you’re finally on break in your dorm. you’re supposed to go back home in two days, but the thought of packing feels like trying to climb a mountain barefoot. you can’t summon the energy to do anything except wallow in your self-pity and selfishness, letting it wrap around you like a weighted blanket that’s somehow comforting and suffocating all at once.
you’d like to say this is rock bottom, but truthfully, it’s worse than that. because rock bottom implies a kind of finality—a place to push off from. this? this feels more like you’re sinking in quicksand, the weight of everything dragging you further down.
in your stress and impulsiveness, you’ve managed to kill your entire grind for internships. deadlines have slipped past while you spent hours doom-scrolling job boards and second-guessing every application. the ambitious, career-focused version of yourself feels like a stranger now, buried under the weight of your own doubts and insecurities. and on top of that, you may have potentially lost the love of your life.
it’s laughable, really, how thoroughly you’ve managed to self-destruct in such a short time. the worst part? you can’t even bring yourself to check your socials. if you unblock him and see there aren’t any messages, you think your heart might shatter completely. which, if you’re being honest, isn’t exactly fair to him. you’re the one who had the meltdown. you’re the one who blocked him on everything. he probably doesn’t even know what he did wrong because you didn’t even communicate anything.
your stomach twists at the thought, guilt mingling with the ever-present ache of missing him. he was supposed to be the one person who made everything feel a little less impossible, and now you’ve pushed him away.
there has got to be a taylor swift song for this.
so you make your way to your spotify account to listen to afterglow, putting in your airpods while somberly looking at the ceiling once again as the lyrics fill your ears. tears well up as soon as the lyrics start
i blew things out of proportion, now you're blue⸻
tears well up before you can stop them, hot and heavy as they trail down your cheeks. god, you’re a mess. and yet, as much as you hate it, you can’t seem to stop the flood of thoughts that follow.
you miss him. you miss the way he made you laugh even when you were on the verge of tears, the way his ridiculous confidence somehow made you feel like everything would work out. you miss how he’d stay up late just to facetime you when you were overwhelmed with schoolwork, how he always seemed to know exactly when you needed him most.
and now? now you’ve gone and ruined it. maybe he’s angry, maybe he’s hurt, or worse—maybe he’s just done with you entirely.
the thought makes your chest ache, your breaths coming in shallow and uneven as the lyrics hit their crescendo.
i need to say, hey, it’s all me, in my head—
then, suddenly the song changes. you frown as you hear early 2010's pop blast through your ears.
i threw a wish in the well, don't ask me i'll never tell⸻
why the fuck is call me maybe playing?
annoyed and rubbing at your eyes, you move the change it back to, now, the sad girl hours playlist spotify curated for your and assume your dead fish position on the floor once again.
however, it seems as if your spotify is genuinely tweaking, like it's realized it’s gotten your attention. when call me maybe starts playing again, you groan out loud and move your phone. but before you have a chance to switch the song again, it seems to switch.
baby by justin bieber.
call me, blondie.
i love you, i'm sorry, gracie abrams.
letstalkaboutit, aminé.
i don't understand but i luv you, seventeen.
please please please, sabrina carpenter.
and then, once more, as if to really drive the point home: call me maybe, carly rae jepsen.
again, it's 3am, and you're stuck in a surreal mix of grief and confusion, staring at your phone as your spotify queue seems to have gained sentience. each song feels like a pleading nudge, an unmistakable pattern forming, and your blood runs cold when you remember one very important fact.
you share a spotify account with satoru.
"carly rae jepsen," you mutter under your breath, a mix of exasperation and fondness bubbling up despite yourself. he's hijacking your queue. right in the middle of your emo songs.
you sit up abruptly, tossing your airpods onto the bed, and hover over the call button on your phone. there’s a split second of hesitation—your pride battling with your longing—before you give in and press it.
the line rings twice before his voice comes through, breathless, like he’s been pacing. "baby?"
the sound of his voice sends a fresh wave of emotion crashing over you, sharp and raw like an open wound. the sound of his voice makes your stomach twist uncomfortably, equal parts relief and guilt. "satoru," you say, barely above a whisper. "why are you messing with our spotify?"
"why am i messing with our spotify?" he echoes, his tone incredulous. "why did you block me on literally everything? what was i supposed to do—send you a letter by carrier pigeon?"
you wince at the edge in his voice, your earlier anger wilting under the weight of his hurt. "i… i don’t know," you admit, the words tumbling out before you can catch them. "i was upset, and i wasn’t thinking straight. i shouldn’t have done that."
"yeah, you shouldn’t have," he says, still sounding a little indignant, though there’s something softer beneath it now. "do you know how many songs i had to go through to make my point? do you know how hard it was to resist the urge to rickroll you instead?" then, there’s a pause on his end, the line suddenly feeling too quiet. then he sighs, his voice softening into something that feels too much like an apology. "i didn’t know what else to do. i hate not talking to you. i hate knowing i made you upset, even if i don’t entirely understand why."
you close your eyes, the lump in your throat returning with a vengeance. the silence stretches between you, thick and unbearable, until you finally break it. "i’m sorry," you whisper, the words slipping out before you can stop them. "i shouldn’t have blown up at you like that.” and now that the dam has been broken, it all comes rushing out as you start choking up. “i’ve just been so stressed, and i’ve been missing you and then i saw you with her and then got irrationally angry when i really should’ve trusted you and oh my god i’m like a possessive tradwife husband that doesn’t let you leave the farm i’m sorry and i didn’t even communicate before i blew up at you like that—”
"hey. hey, hey, it’s okay," he says immediately, his tone filled with an earnestness that makes your chest tighten. "i know things have been hard for you. i should’ve been better, too. more present. i hate that you’ve been feeling like this while i’ve been...doing spider-man things." then, he lets out a dramatic sigh, the kind that’s equal parts exasperation and playfulness. "but wasn’t fair,” and you can hear a whine in his voice, “you blocked me and then ghosted me like i’m some kind of random tinder match. do you have any idea how insane i felt when i couldn’t even check to see if you were okay? i thought you hated me."
your breath catches at his words, guilt twisting like a knife in your chest. "i don’t hate you," you say quickly, the words spilling out in a rush. "i could never hate you. i was just… stupid, and emotional, and i didn’t know how to handle everything piling up. i’m so, so sorry, satoru."
there’s a pause, and when he speaks again, his voice is quieter, a little more vulnerable. "then why did you say those things? about mei mei, and… and me using the spider-man thing to get into girls’ pants."
you bite your lip, the memory of your harsh words making your throat tighten. "i didn’t mean any of it," you whisper. "i was just lashing out, and i know it wasn’t fair to you. i know you’d never do something like that, and i trust you, satoru. i just… i let my insecurities get the better of me."
"wait," he interrupts, his voice laced with amusement that shouldn’t make your heart ache the way it does. "you actually think i’d use the spider-man thing as a pickup line? that’s...wow. that’s genius. i should write that down."
"satoru!" you exclaim, half-laughing, half-crying, your emotions unraveling all over again. "i’m being serious!"
"i know, i know," he says, but you can hear the smile in his voice, warm and teasing. "and i’m being serious, too. i’d never do that to you. mei mei’s just...she tripped in front of me, i was just helping her up. i didn’t even realize how it must’ve looked, but i’ve never done anything with her. you’re it for me, okay? always."
you sniffle, wiping at your cheeks as your heart swells and aches all at once. "you mean that?"
"of course i do," he says, his voice soft and sincere in a way that makes your breath hitch. "i love you, even when you block me on everything and make me resort to spotify warfare." he sighs again, but this time it’s softer, the warmth in his voice breaking through his remaining irritation. "i’m not mad. i mean, i was mad, but mostly i was just upset. you really hurt my feelings, you know?"
the lump in your throat grows, your guilt threatening to choke you. "i know," you say, your voice cracking. "i’m so sorry, satoru. i’ll make it up to you, i promise."
"oh, you will make it up to me," he says, the teasing edge returning to his tone. "i want a week of boyfriend privileges—no complaining when i steal your fries, no making fun of my movie picks, and you’re buying me snacks for at least three of those days."
a small smile tugs at your lips despite the tears still clinging to your lashes. "deal," you say softly.
there’s a pause on his end, and then his voice comes through the line, quieter but no less sincere. "you really mean it? you’re not still mad at me?"
"i’m not mad," you say, your voice thick with emotion. "i was never really mad at you, satoru. i was mad at everything else, and i took it out on you. but i’m not mad anymore. i just… i miss you."
"i miss you too," he says, and the raw honesty in his voice---the subtle way it chokes up, as if he had been crying and missing you too---makes your chest ache. "so, can i come over? or are you going to make me keep hijacking your playlists to get your attention?"
you laugh softly, the sound tinged with relief. "just come over already, you dummy. and bring snacks. good ones."
"done," he says, his grin audible through the phone. "i’ll be there in twenty. and for the record, you owe me at least a whole playlist dedicated to how amazing i am and you sucking the absolute soul out of my dick---."
"don’t push your luck," you reply, but there’s no heat in your words, only warmth (and you’re absolutely going to suck his soul out of his cock). regardless, for the first time in days, the tightness in your chest starts to ease, replaced by something lighter, something whole.
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general masterlist | spiderman!gojo m. list
a/n he's so cute :( i'll keep on writing stuff for them whether it be small fics like this or long ass fics. i think my next one is gonna be freaky if you guys are nice to this one
TAGLIST im really sorry if i missed you if you sent an ask asking to be tagged pls feel free to remind me again im afriad ur ask has drowned in my shitposts and other asks
@chilichopsticks @livelaughloveisagiyoichi @moonchhu @k0z3me @seobluv
@m1gota @celloccino @satxoru @fishrene @myahfig4
@watermelonmuntchers @bxnfire @ayumilk @venussdovess @michelleeveline
@bochichi @applepi25 @6xillaa @almostdifferentstudent @mugamoo
@iv-vee @jaemissso @wil10wthetree @localartisttttt @rirk-ke
@backinmyphase @novaisbebita @heiejdhdh @blueemochii @helloalex80
@gojodickbig @kyon-cherri @nikkissecretlibrary @omg-its-rdj @isleqt
@suguruscousin @idkwhatursayinh @yourfavbabigirl
5K notes · View notes
quarterlifekitty · 2 months ago
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Still brain rotting over Soap being into Simon’s selectively mute (edit; I originally labeled reader as non-verbal, but I was made aware mutism more accurately describes this!) gf.
cw: exhibitionism/vouyerism
Things really quietly escalate during movie nights. You’re usually in Simon’s lap, under a blanket. And Simon starts touching you. Johnny notices, his eyes keep flicking to Simon’s arm over your front and wrist leading down beneath the quilt. The first couple of times this happens, he’s able to tear his eyes away and keep his eyes on the tv, and doesn’t mention a thing.
Until he can’t keep it going anymore. You’re watching some shitty sword-and-sorcery movie. A barbarian and a royal knight who have to put aside their differences and join forces to save the princess and the rest of the realm. He doesn’t give a fuck— he was really only keeping his eyes on the screen hoping the princess’s pretty tits would distract him. They don’t.
This time he’s fully staring. The gentle rock of Simon’s wrist. If Soap focuses, he can hear the sound of his fingers in your wet little cunt. You keep your eyes on the movie, while Simon lets his head loll and faces Johnny, lazy smirk creeping into his face.
“She know I can see what yer doin’ to ‘er, LT? Fuck, I can hear it— smell it, even. She ok with that?”
“Was her idea to start with, Johnny.” Soap sucks in a breath and starts palming himself— rock hard in his pants.
“That true, hen? You wanted me to see you gettin’ fucked on Si’s fingers?”
You look to him and nod.
“You mind if I take my cock out, then? A little cruel to show me my best mate knuckle deep in a beautiful girl and expect me t’resist.” You lean back and whisper into Ghost’s ear a bit.
“Says she wants t’see it, sergeant. Wants you to stroke yourself off for us.” The jingling of a belt buckle is immediate and it’s timed perfectly— the barbarian breaking through his chains on screen, able to catch the princess from a fall in the nick of time. Johnny bites his lip hard as he spits and wraps a fist around his cock.
“Fuck— mark m’words, baby, once I hear you say you want me, it’s over for you, bonnie.”
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seospicybin · 5 months ago
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THE FUCKBOY NEXT DOOR.
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PART I
Bangchan x reader. (s,a)
Chapters: Part II / Part III / Final.
Synopsis: Having issues to break up with your boyfriend, you seek help from the boy next door and the number one fuckboy in the area, Chan. (10k words)
Author's note: I went through a nasty break up a few weeks ago and this is basically just me trying to cope by being delulu about having a fuckboy Chan as a neighbor. Enjoy x
It becomes a habit now that Chan doesn't know where he is when he wakes up in the morning.
The first thing that he'll do is retrace everything to last night. He was DJ-ing at a club, had a few drinks in between, met a girl who was eyeing him the whole night, had a few more drinks, there was a little touching and a quick makeout session in the dark alley and people can guess what happens after that
So this is where he is right now, the girl's bedroom and he can recall everything that happened last night except the girl's name.
"Fuck!" Chan mutters under his breath.
Judging from how bright the sun is outside, he knows he only has a little window to make his escape so he quickly gets off the bed as calmly as possible. He then tiptoes around to gather his clothes and put them on without making any noise.
However, he fails at it as the head from his belt hits the bed frame and the clanging of metal meets metal echoing in the room.
The girl steers on her sleep and rolls over to the side, she brushes her hair away from her face, catching Chan putting his belt on.
The plan to make a quick getaway has come to a failure but he keeps his cool, continuing to buckle his belt and then plants his hands on each side of his waist.
"Morning," He awkwardly says with a forced smile.
"Morning," the girl replies with a smile then props an elbow against the mattress, sending the duvet sliding down her body and exposing her bare chest to him.
Chan might have been a little drunk when he met her but damn, his fuckboy radar works well even under the influence of alcohol.
"You're leaving already?" She asks, flipping her hair to the back to expose more of those beautiful mounds to him.
Chan has to tell his pervy brain to focus actively, he looks away and picks up his jacket from the floor.
"I promised a friend to help him move out today," He lies, then pretends to check the time on his phone, "And I'm kind of late."
The girl nods then twirls her hair around her finger, "Well then... when can I see you again?"
"I hope soon," Chan says with his charming grin that disguises the insincerity in his answer.
The girl smiles at that which confirms that the grin works, "But seriously, I can't wait to see you again," she says.
"I'll call you," he says because that's what he can promise her at the moment but whether he'll do it or not is uncertain.
"But you don't have my numbers yet," she says with her eyebrows wrinkled in suspicion.
"No, I'm sure you already did," he says, convincing her by scrolling the contacts on his phone.
"Yup. I have your numbers already," he lies again, showing her a random contact on his phone for a quick second.
"But my name is Thalia," she says, cleverly catching the name on the contact.
"Yes, of course, you're Thalia," he says with utmost confidence and his ultimate weapon of a dimpled smile.
The girl seems alarmed though. She sits up on the bed and clutches the duvet close to her chest, "We're going to see each other again, right Chris?"
"Yes," he answers without a beat, and at this point, lying is as easy as breathing to him.
"Can I get a kiss before you leave?"
"Sure," he says, coming around the bed to give her a quick peck on the lips.
The girl smiles when he lets go and watches as he walks to the doorway, "I'll call you, Tanya."
"It's Thalia," she corrects him with an apparent displeasure on her face.
Chan shoves his phone into the pocket of his jeans and takes the time to properly bid her goodbye. Nothing a girl likes more than a sweet mouth and a little assurance, he'll give her exactly that.
"I'll see you soon, Thalia," Chan says with a smile.
"See you soon, Chris," and the girl naively believes him, if only she knew that this will be the last time they're seeing each other.
Yet again, Chan makes another successful getaway.
-
The warm weather of spring makes it a pleasant walk from the bus stop to his apartment building. He wants to stop somewhere for breakfast but his head feels heavy from the hangover, he just wants to go home as soon as possible, have a bowl of cereal then take an aspirin for the pounding headache.
In the lobby, he makes a quick stop to collect his mail and takes a quick check at it, sorting them out on the spot so he knows which ones he should bring upstairs.
From the corner of his eyes, Chan catches his neighbor, you with your boyfriend chatting by the elevator. He notices the gestures, the expression, and the whole interaction, it doesn't take a genius to know that something is going on there that the naked eyes can't see.
Chan throws the unnecessary mail into the trash bin nearby and walks to the elevator, hearing the little conversation going on between you and your boyfriend.
"...the waffles were delicious. We should have breakfast there again," the boyfriend says as he looks at you, "What do you think?"
"Yeah," you meekly answer while looking at the little screen that shows the floor the elevator is stopping in.
Chan tries to remain invisible but his eyes accidentally make contact with your boyfriend so he may as well make his presence known.
"Hi, neighbor," he greets, he knows your name but you seem to prefer to be called that way.
You do what you always do whenever you meet each other in the building, give him a quick judging look and a courteous smile.
"And hi neighbor's boyfriend," he greets your boyfriend next.
"Hi," your boyfriend greets back, "Chris, isn't it?"
"Yes and you are Lee," Chan responds.
"Right. So how was your Friday night?" Lee initiates a small talk.
"I believe it wasn't as good as yours," Chan playfully answers.
"Oh, we just stayed in and watched a movie, right baby?" Lee says, putting his arm around your shoulder.
All of a sudden, you take a step forward and say, "It's here."
The elevator doesn't chime until a moment later but you seem to be more than eager to get in. You turn around to give your boyfriend a quick hug.
"I'll try to leave early so we can have dinner together," Lee says with a quick kiss on the cheek.
"It's okay. Take your time," you say with a faint smile.
Chan quietly gets into the elevator and holds the door open for you, he tries not to look at what's happening in front of him not out of politeness but it's just painful to watch.
"I'll call you," Lee adds, catching your hand as you enter the elevator and kissing it.
"Okay," you say then wave your hand at him.
To help you get out of it, Chan releases his finger off the buttons and sends the doors sliding shut.
"Bye, baby," Lee says for the last time before the doors completely close.
It's just another awkward elevator ride with you and he'll usually try to endure it but after watching all that and trying not to say anything is hard, he can't help but impose.
He glances at you to check whether you're ready to hear about what he has to say but you always have the same stoic expression. Then it occurs to him that he has never seen you smile impolitely or out of joy, or even hear your laugh, but maybe after you hear what he's about to say, he'll get to see a different facial expression on you.
"Oh, man! That was painful to watch," he sighs as he keeps looking straight ahead at his reflection in the shiny furnace of the elevator.
There's no one else in the elevator so you're fully aware that he's talking to you but you don't respond until a while later.
There you go, with your judging look and stoic expression, looking at him as you say, "Excuse me?"
Chan doesn't want to sound rude but beating around the bush isn't his thing, he prefers to be straightforward. He knows it's all based on assumptions but he's pretty sure his judgements are pretty accurate.
He's going to just do it and lay out the facts, he turns to the side, then leans his back against the cold surface of the elevator.
"Your shoulder tightens when he called you baby and the fact you lied about the breakfast tells me that you didn't actually like his choice of restaurant," he pauses to let out a cynical chuckle, "the waffles weren't that good, I guess?"
When he wants to see a different facial expression on you, he doesn't mean seeing your angry one, but oh well, the damage has been done.
"Because I'm a good girlfriend that's why I let him choose the restaurant," you become defensive all of a sudden but that's an unconvincing answer.
"No, you let him choose out of pity," he simply remarks, "And just now, your nostrils flared when I pointed it out."
With all of these signs combined with his personal experiences, Chan narrows it out to one conclusion. He looks at you in the eyes and says, "You're about to break up with him, don't you?"
It looks like you've been slapped right on the face except that the slap doesn't come from someone, it's from the truth that comes out of Chan's unfiltered mouth and he instantly regrets it for meddling in in someone else's business.
"I'm sorry, but why are we having this conversation?" You ask, crossing your arms together in front of you.
"It's not like you're any better. You slept around, you're scared of commitment and now, sticking your nose at my business. You are the kind of person that I deeply despise!" You angrily say with your chest heaving.
It seems like you're saying all of those things about him out of anger because he sees right through you but now he knows why you always give him that judging look. He's the one who started it so yeah, okay, maybe he deserves that but that doesn't change the truth. The problem is what he said and your response, they're heading in the opposite direction.
"I think someone has her panties in a twist," Chan coyly responds.
"Look, there's nothing wrong with wanting to break up. That doesn't make you a bad person," he adds and decides to end the talk right there.
It gets quiet in this enclosed space and it's already suffocating as it is but how lucky that he has to patiently wait for the elevator to ride through three more floors to get out of here.
When the elevator finally dings open, Chan lets out a breath he doesn't know he's been holding but he's not the one in a hurry to exit both this space and the situation. He stays where he is and lets you out first.
When he thinks you don't have anything else to say, you stop right outside the elevator and look at him with a piercing gaze.
"Don't, for one second, think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties!" You emphasize every word in anger, then storm off.
Know what? Maybe Chan should skip the bowl of cereal and take two aspirin instead. As for you, maybe you need to chill the fuck out.
-
Just because you've been neighbors with Chan for the past three years doesn't mean that you know each other on a personal level.
All you know about him is that he's a DJ which explains why there's always music playing in his apartment, he always wears a sleeveless top to showcase his muscles, and he always has a stupid grin on to show off the stupid dimples on his stupid face, an annoying Australian accent and from how many times you caught different girls taking a walk of shame out of his apartment, it's safe to say that he's the number one fuckboy in the area
So how dare he say all of that stuff in the elevator when he doesn't know anything about you at all? Moreover, what does a fuckboy like him know about relationships?
It shouldn't be hard to ignore because it's something you usually do but gosh, the memory of the conversation still vexed you a few days later.
Then it hits you that it bothers you so much because deep down, you know what he said is true. You've been wanting to break up with your boyfriend and hearing that comes from someone outside that relationship only solidified that thought.
There's nothing wrong with your boyfriend, Lee is nice, too nice even, and when you think about it, maybe that is the problem, he is too nice and that leads you to another problem, you don't know how to break up with him without hurting his feelings.
But you know who can help you with that? Someone who has a lot of experience in breaking up with people.
Oh, what a joy that you find the answer right across your door!
Before you get to ask for his help though, you're fully aware that there's another thing to do and there's no other way to do it but walk up to his apartment, knock on his door, and apologize.
As you're standing there in front of his apartment door, you're dreading it. All sorts of thoughts crossed your head like why did you have to be so riled up that time in the elevator? Why did you have to say that thing about the panties? Just why? Ugh!
Let's just get it over with, you mutter inside your head.
With hesitant hand, you knock on his door and then hold the urge to turn around and run back to your apartment. You let yourself take a step back as you wait for him to come for the door.
Do not open the door, do not open the door, you chant inside your head while tapping your foot against the floor. However, things are not always going the way you want.
The door swings inward and a second later, Chan appears with disheveled hair and he only has one arm in the sleeve of his t-shirt, then you spot a girl's shoes next to his feet.
Oh no, please don't say you're coming at the wrong time.
You reflexively take another step back but he grabs your forearm and then opens the door wider, showing you that there's a girl there.
"It's my neighbor, she's here to remind me about the tenant meeting," he says to her.
The girl looks at you rather suspiciously and crosses her arms together in front of her as she glares at Chan.
"No. Don't you dare try to get out of this, Chris!"
"But it's true. We have to leave now," Chan says, then gives you a look that tells you to lie along with him, "Right?"
Running a quick assessment of the situation, you're certain that Chan is trying to get himself out of it to avoid having a difficult conversation with the beautiful lady. You hate to be the accessory to his crime but if this means that it would help you earn his forgiveness...
"The pigeons!" You make up a lie on the spot.
"The pigeons are ruining our rooftop garden so we held this urgent tenant meeting," you add with what you hope is a convincing smile.
"Oh, those damn pigeons!" Chan heavily sighs with a phony expression.
The lie makes your throat dry and your cheeks hurt from forcing a smile, you have to keep it going as the lady considers whether to believe that the tenant meeting is true or not.
Chan grabs his jacket from the clothes hook and puts it on, "We'll continue this later, okay?" He says to her.
Without waiting for her answer, he gets out of the door and drags you with him to go to your apartment. Once both of you get inside, he immediately closes the door behind him and lets out a long sigh.
"Oh, wow!" He exclaims once he realizes that he's inside your apartment.
He allows himself further inside and leisurely walks around your apartment, checking your kitchen, trailing his fingers on your book collection on the shelf, and observing the potted plants lining up on the window sill.
He walks back to the middle of the room and takes another 360-degree look around the apartment, then nods in approval.
"So, this is what the inside of your apartment looks like," he says in a cryptic tone.
Not sure if he wants you to respond to that or if should respond at all. You choose to remain silent and only respond when his intentions are intelligible.
Chan then sits on the sofa, making himself comfortable, and looks at you, then at what you're holding in both hands.
"Is that for me?"
The jar of cookies you've been unknowingly holding in your hands is a token of apology and it is for him.
"Yes, it is for you," you say, handing it to him with both hands.
"I'm sorry about the other day," you sincerely apologize, but you know you have to let him know what you're apologizing for, "for what I've said to you. I'm terribly sorry."
"Well, since you're helping me with the uh... situation," he coyly says as he scratches his eyebrow, "consider us even."
See? That wasn't so hard. You feel bad for lying to the girl but at least, you've been forgiven.
"Thank you," you add with a smile.
Chan doesn't say anything else but opens the lid and takes a cookie out of the jar. He gets comfortable on the sofa, sitting slumped with his legs spreading wide, and then he takes a big bite of the cookie.
It doesn't take long for him to notice that you have something else to say to him other than an apology.
Before he gets to it, you force yourself to start speaking.
"So, Chris..." you call, then abruptly stop talking. You suddenly have a second thought about asking for his help.
"What's up?" He asks while chewing on his cookie.
It's at the tip of your tongue but your mouth feels like they're sewn shut. You clasp your hands together and muster up the courage to just blurt it out.
"Do you want something to have with the cookies?"
You swear you plan on asking for his help but somehow, your mouth saying a different thing.
"Milk would be nice," he answers.
"Milk. Yes, I have milk," you awkwardly say, slowly making your way to the kitchen like a walking dead.
You take a carton of milk from the fridge and while pouring it into a glass, you're scolding yourself for being so cowardly.
After taking a moment to take a deep breath and muster up the courage to ask, you walk back to the sofa with the glass of milk in hand. With a smile, you hand it to him.
"Thank you," he says, his eyes catching something in your eyes.
You immediately break the eye contact and take another step back, standing and watching him finish his third cookie then wash it down with a sip of milk.
"I hope you don't mind that I'm going to stay here until the girl leaves my apartment," he informs.
"Oh?" You meekly gasp.
"But I can leave if you're uncomfortable," he says as he sits straight on the sofa.
"No, it's fine," you shortly reply, "Take your time."
"Okay, thanks," he says, reclining back on the sofa and continues munching on the cookies.
You can't decide if he stays longer than you expected is a good thing or not. You use the opportunity to reconsider it and walk to the kitchen to get out of his sight.
"Do you need help or not?" You quietly ask yourself as you pour yourself a glass of water.
Why is it so hard? He's right there. All you need is to go and ask for his help.
The water sloshes out of the glass as you fill it too full and you reflexively back away to avoid getting water all over the front of your dress.
"Everything good there?" Chan asks in a slight panic.
That's it! Enough time has passed from overthinking it! You walk up to him and just do it.
"You're right," you blurt out, "I've been wanting to break up with my boyfriend."
Sensing that it turns serious, Chan slows down his chewing and puts away the cookie jar. You expect the I-told-you-so grin on his face but no, he looks saddened instead.
"Things aren't working out," you openly share with a sad sigh.
You take a seat on the ottoman facing the sofa and sadly sigh, "I've been wanting to break up with him for a week now but I just don't know how."
"How long you've been dating each other?"
"Three years," you answer.
"Wow," Chan lowly gasps in awe.
Three years is not a short time, he understands why you hesitate to break up and it isn't an easy decision either.
"I need your help," you hopelessly say, unintentionally becoming vulnerable in front of him.
"My help?"
"Help me how to break up with him," you further explain.
"Of all people, why me?" He asks in utter confusion.
It's hard to answer that without being rude, you decide to let him process the question until it leads him to the answer. After a while, he lets out a dry chuckle and nods, "Okay, yeah. Make sense."
Chan takes another minute to accept the fact that his help is needed because he knows how to break up with someone without feeling awful about it afterward.
"I guess you want to let him down gently?"
"Yes," you answer.
"Well..." he inflates his cheeks then lets the air out through his pursed lips, "You can break up with him through a text."
Which part of 'let him down gently' did he not understand? How is it a good idea to break up through a text? But okay, it's just one suggestion, you give him the benefit of the doubt for now. Who knows he'll come up with better suggestions.
"I'm sorry. No, I can't do that," you kindly refuse his suggestion.
"You can send it when he's sleeping," he adds.
Oh, God! He gives you an even worse suggestion instead of better ones. You know what? This is a bad idea and you regret asking for his help.
"I don't—" You stop yourself from talking and get up from your seat.
"I'll just check if the lady is still..." Your words trail off as you walk towards the door and check through the peephole first, then you get out of the door to check his apartment next.
"Hello? Excuse me?" You shout from the doorway but no one is answering you.
You take it the lady has left and walk back to your apartment to deliver the news to the rightful owner of the apartment.
"She already left," you tell him.
Chan lets out a sigh and closes the cookie jar, he finishes the milk to its last drop and then gets up from the sofa.
"Thank you for the cookies and the milk," he says with his signature grin.
"No worries," you reply, trying so hard to hide the disappointment in your voice.
Chan holds the cookie jar in one arm and takes a step closer to you, "if you need help on how to write breakup texts, I'm just across the hall," he says.
You don't respond to that but keep a smile on for him as to seem polite.
"And good luck!" He says with gentle pats on your shoulder.
The second he walks out the door, you collapse onto the sofa and dread it even more than before. Turns out, asking for his help is not helping at all.
The next day, you meet him as you collect your mail in the lobby and it's hard to ignore him when his mailbox is next to yours.
"G'day!" Chan greets you as he leans the side of his body against the wall while sorting his mail.
"Good day!" You respond and hurriedly walk toward the elevator. You push the button to summon it to the lobby and hope it comes soon enough for you to avoid talking to Chan.
Of course, things don't go as you want it. He comes just in time for the elevator about to arrive, he crumples a few letters in his hand into a ball and then tosses it into the trash bin.
"How did it go?" He asks.
"Pardon?" You nonchalantly respond.
Good thing that the elevator chimes open and you can pretend to forget about what he asked you a while ago. You get inside while clutching your mails in hands in front of you but it's not safe yet as you have to share the elevator ride with him.
"So... the break-up texts? Did you do it?" He asks again, going to the corner of the elevator and leaning his back against it.
"Chris, I think you can't just end a three-year relationship with a text," you put it as nicely as you can.
"Yeah, I reckon," he innocently answers.
It seems like Chan can't tell the difference between what is easy and what is right. It isn't a good idea in the first place to ask for help from someone like him who doesn't consider other people's feelings except his own.
"What are you going to do then?" He asks, shifting his weight on one leg.
Since his help is not helping at all, you have no answer to that yet. This should be something you have to figure out on your own in the first place.
"I'll figure it out," you not-very-convincingly answer.
Chan crosses his arms in front of him, making the muscles and veins on his arms more evident under the fluorescent light of the elevator.
"Lee seems like a nice guy," he remarks with a deep inhale of air.
Well, if you have to compare your boyfriend to Chan, then yes, Lee is a really nice guy. Lee excels in a lot of things, including how to treat a person with feelings.
"Yes," you settle with a simple answer.
"A drawn-out break up is only going to end in a big scene," he says, "Just saying."
Chan has a point. It's worse to prolong the pain for both you and Lee, you can't keep pretending that the relationship works and it's unfair that you keep Lee oblivious about all this.
"We can practice, you know," he offers.
"Practice?"
"On how you're going to break up with him," he explains.
He comes up with a better suggestion this time and is almost endearing even but again, he wouldn't know how a person with real feelings reacts to a break-up which makes you unsure if the practice would be any help.
The elevator is about to arrive anyway so you decide to skip on responding to his offer. Once it chimes, the doors part open and you take the first turn to get out with Chan getting off after you. You turn to the left to your apartment while he turns right. You take the key out of your pocket to unlock the door and push your way in while clutching your mail close to your chest.
"You know where to find me if you need help," Chan says just before you close the door to your apartment.
Hard pass, you answer in your head but you put on a smile for his kind offer, then close the door
-
Okay, you admit it. You were too haste when you said that you didn't need his help. You were doing fine for these past few days, you've been avoiding meeting your boyfriend to give you some more time to think of the best way to break the news to him until he calls you.
The phone rings and you just stare at it, considering whether to pick it up or not. If you pick it up, that means you have to lie to him and if you don't, it'll alert him that things are, in fact, not okay.
The latter seems like a better idea so you pick it up after taking a long, deep breath.
"Hi, baby. Am I calling you at the wrong time?"
Not entirely wrong but it would be nice if he didn't call you, you answer in your head.
"Yeah, sorry, I was in the bathroom," you lie.
"Coconut shrimp for dinner. What do you think?" he asks out of the blue.
"That sounds nice," you easily respond.
"I know you'll like it but, babe, do you mind getting us a bottle of wine on the way?
"I'm sorry?" You ask in confusion.
"For our dinner, remember?" he answers, "I'll cook tonight we'll be having dinner at mine."
You hardly paid attention to him because your mind was always elsewhere, you couldn't remember saying yes to the dinner but you did and it must be out of pity.
"No, of course, I remember, I'm just..." you rake your brain to think of something to say.
"I thought it was next week," you lie again with an awkward chuckle.
"You silly!" Lee says, "Aren't you glad that I called, huh?"
"So glad," you lie, again and again.
"I should start prepping the ingredients so they'll be ready when you get here," he says, his voice exuding enthusiasm.
"Okay."
"Don't forget the wine!"
"I won't."
"I can't wait to see you, baby," he sweetly says.
The lies are piling up so may as well add another one to the pile, "Me too."
"I love you, bye."
Don't think you can lie your answer to that, you gulp air, "Bye," you say to the phone, then quickly hang up.
Desperate times call for desperate measures and you don't know your desperate measure means knocking on your neighbor's door. Probably because you hate to admit that you need his help.
Not long after, Chan opens the door and his head pops out from the gap, "What's up?"
"My boyfriend just called and tonight, we'll be having dinner in his place," you blabber in panic.
It takes a second for him to process it then his face turns a little surprised, "What are we going to do then?" He asks in confusion.
You may be in dread but you catch the error in his question, "We? Now, you got your panties in a twist," you tell him.
"Shame on you!" He responds with a sly grin then opens the door wider and shows himself dressed in nothing but a white towel hanging low around his hips.
He puts one arm against the doorframe and leans close to you as he says, "Cause I'm not wearing any panties right now."
You should have noticed it from his wet hair and the beads of water rolling down his neck, and now that you're seeing the whole of it, your eyes immediately following where the beads of water going, they're going down the outline of his abs and eventually, to where they're all gathered as his pelvic bones leading down to one way: down south.
However, your instinctive reaction goes against what you're actually feeling inside.
"Ugh!" You groan and turn to the side, "Put some clothes on and I'll see you at my place!"
Without waiting for his answer, you rush back to your apartment and close the door behind you as fast as possible, then you rest your back against it.
The images of his naked body flashing through your head, his glistening wet pale skin, and how some parts of his body are blotchy red around the neck and chest. You get flustered all of a sudden, you immediately press the back of your hand to your cheek and you can feel them heating.
"Get it together!" You scold yourself.
After waiting for almost fifteen minutes, Chan finally comes knocking on your door like it's a musical instrument.
"Are you dressed?" You ask with your hand on the doorknob.
"Hardly," he jokes.
You peek through the peephole and see that he's already dressed to what you can say is his usual attire of dark short pants with a matching sleeveless top, showing off his bulging biceps. You open the door to let him in and he coyly walks in, treating your place like it's his own, sitting on your sofa with his legs spreading wide.
"Okay, so, why am I here?"
You stand in front of him with your hands clasped in front of you, "I've been lying to him the whole phone call and honestly, I've been doing it since the moment I decided that I want to break up with him, and I... I don't think I can lie to him again."
It's easy to admit your mistakes to him because he barely knows you and his opinions about you won't matter that much to you.
"I need to do it tonight," you hopelessly say.
"I take it you need my help to practice your break-up speech?"
You hate that he guesses it right but it's also convenient that you don't have to beat around the bush to ask for it. But first, you try to explain the situation as much as possible so he has ideas on what you're facing here.
"Lee is a man of many emotions and I'm not exaggerating when I say he'll likely cry," you inform.
Chan's forehead wrinkles as he processes this piece of information then stifles a nod. It seems like he still has no idea what you want him to do about it.
"I think it's less painful if you acknowledge the dumpee feelings," you blatantly explain.
"Okay, I got you. Let's practice!' He says, sitting up straighter on the sofa and then putting his hands on his knees.
It's just a practice but your anxiety takes over you not just mentally but also physically as your palms get sweaty. You wipe them down your jeans and take a breath.
"Lee," you call him by your boyfriend's name, and even though it's weird that you're roleplaying, you continue, "I want to break up with you."
Chan looks at you and gets quiet for a moment, "Wow. I'm in utter shock and it makes me very sad to hear that," he says with a rather serious tone.
Not the kind of reaction Lee would likely pull off but that will do if you decide to continue with it.
"I'm fully aware that this is so sudden but I've been thinking hard about it for some time and I think this is a decision that I should take," you say and you know it's a practice but you feel something caught in your throat.
"I'm sad and I need time to process it, but I'll be okay," he calmly says.
Chan gets the tone right but you believe breaking up wouldn't be this easy in real life, especially when there are real feelings to protect. To be honest, you're not ready to face the truth that you may hurt those feelings tonight.
"I think that went very well," Chan says, returning to his default settings.
"Yeah, I think that's it," you meekly say.
The worries and sadness are drawn on your face that Chan can easily see through your veiled expression, "If Lee is as nice as you said he is, then you shouldn't worry much," he says.
He waits until your eyes meet his to continue, "He may get surprised or shocked even, but he'll come around and respect your decision."
You can't believe that those words are coming out of his mouth or that he even tries to comfort you, but you appreciate it. Maybe his heart is still there, he just doesn't let it control him most of the time.
He gets up from the sofa and walks up to you, he takes your hands, ignoring how cold and sweaty they feel in his, "You got this," he assures you.
"Thank you, Chris," you sincerely say with a sad smile.
It is time to stop torturing both you and Lee with lies and forcing yourself to believe that the love is still there. It's time to accept the truth that if you can fall in love, you can also fall out of love.
-
It's a surprise that Chan worries about things that aren't his business. He's been playing some music to distract him from his head but he keeps the volume low because he doesn't want to miss hearing the sound of the elevator that will tell him any signs that you're back from the dinner.
Eventually, he tires himself out from worrying and falls asleep on the sofa. He startles always close to midnight after hearing the knocking on his doors.
Half disoriented, he trudges his way to open the door and finds you there, surprisingly, looking nice in a white cotton dress and your eyes dry.
But from the way you let yourself into his apartment, forgetting your impeccable manners and walking with shoulders slumped and carrying your shoes in your hands, he takes it that you did it.
"So... how did it go?" He carefully asks, following you as you're making your way to the sofa and then sitting on it.
You let a heavy sigh and your shoulders slumped even more, "At least, there's no crying," you answer with a sad smile.
Chan is unsure of how to react to that, is that a good thing or a bad thing? He just stands there with his arms crossed on his chest, thinking out loud.
"And even though it was ending... it was incredibly meaningful to me and I'm going to miss him," you say with your lips trembling.
Oh, no, Chan knows when a girl is about to cry, he quickly finds a remedy to it, one that he knows always works wonders for him. He runs to the kitchen and brings a bottle out of his alcohol stash, then hands it to you.
"Let's have a drink!" He says, realizing that he forgot the glass.
"Wait another second, I'll get the glass," he says, sprinting to retrieve two glasses from his kitchen cabinet.
When he returns, he sees that you're chugging the alcohol straight from the bottle. You gasp and then wince from the bitter aftertaste of it.
"Okay, straight from the bottle it is," he says, popping onto the sofa next to you.
You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and then hand the bottle to him in which he wastes not another second to take a sip of it.
"The thing is... I really care about him but he wanted to get married, and I'm just not ready for that," you share with your eyes blank and looking at the void.
You take a deep breath but it seems like it only sends your heart sinking deeper and deeper, and making it harder for you to breathe.
"And if I'm not ready with a guy as great as him then what if I'm never ready?" You say, turning your head his way with your eyes glassy, pooling with tears.
"What if that was it..." you lift your shoulders then drop them as you let out a low sigh, "my one chance at love?"
The tears start streaming down your face like a bursting dam and Chan knows he can't do anything about it but let them out.
Hearing your words makes him think about what his idea of love is. He used to think that it was something he could get whenever he wanted it but now he knows that he's wrong, because that's just a short-lived infatuation, just some sort of meaningless connection.
From you, he learns that love is a privilege that not everyone can experience.
"What if I never get a second chance?" You ask him the question that he doesn't know the answer to.
"I don't know. I'm just sad," your voice cracks, then you break into tears.
Chan is quick to catch you into his arms and offers you his embrace. He knows he can't do anything about this sadness but he can try to soothe the pain, he's placing gentle rubs on your back as you cry into his chest.
The cry is resounding in this space, echoing the sadness back to you and it makes him inexplicably sad too, and he gets the urge to make it stop.
"It's going to be alright," he murmurs at the top of your head.
You look up with your eyes wet and red with tears caught in your lashes, "Is it?" You croak.
He doesn't know when but he knows for sure that time heals everything.
"It will be," he answers with a gentle caress of his knuckle on your wet cheek, "eventually."
Your eyes tell some more assurance for him and he doesn't know what drives him to do it, but he leans in, then kisses you.
To his surprise, you kiss him back and he knows you're doing it because you seek his comfort and he wants to give you exactly that. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, giving you that closeness you seek. He kisses you ever so softly because he knows he's kissing a broken heart and he wants to mend it. He can taste your sadness and the bitterness of it, and also the relief underlying all of it. As he kisses you, he lets his heart open just enough to take some of that sadness away from yours.
As the kiss deepens, the sadness withers, and something else emerges. Chan loses in it for a bit until he realizes what you're trying to do with your hand that reaches for the front of his jeans.
He abruptly detaches his lips from yours and shakes his head, "No, we can't do this," he says.
As much as he fancies you enough to have sex with you, he knows better not to do it when you're not in your right mind and your judgments are clouded with sadness. The last thing he wants is you waking up in the morning full of regrets.
"I want this, Chris," you croak.
"No, we can't," he adamantly says and takes your hand away from him.
"You're sad. You do want this," he says in an effort to put some sense into you.
You roughly crumple the front of his t-shirt and pull him close, "I want– No, I need this, Chris," you say to him with your eyes dark like two bottomless pits.
"Please?" You plead as a tear rolls down from the corner of your eye.
This is the most hopeless he ever heard of you and it breaks his heart. You said it yourself, you need this and he knows what you mean by that. You need the distraction, you need him to take this pain away even just for a fleeting moment, moreover, he can't break what's already broken.
He takes your hand off of his clothes and puts it in his, he leans in until his forehead is pressed against yours.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks once again.
"Yes," you answer without a beat.
That's all Chan needed to hear, he inhales air and puts an inch between your faces. He then tenderly holds your face with both hands and looks at you, unsure where to start but maybe, he can start by making those tears coming out of your eyes.
Chan dabs the tears pooling in the corner of your eyes with his knuckle and without the slightest of hesitancy, he places a gentle kiss on each of your closed eyelids and before you can open them, he captures your lips in a kiss.
Sex is not something new to him but Chan knows that this time is not about physical fulfillment, but a way to offer comfort and hopefully, to also mend your broken heart.
He takes his time to strip away every piece of clothing on you until you're bare, lying on the bed with nothing but sadness that fills your heart.
He touches you with utmost gentleness, using just his fingertips to feel the softness of your skin and you're so pliant, sensitive to his touch.
To make it fair, Chan takes his clothes off as well before joining you on the bed, caging you in between his arms and hovering only inches away above you.
"Touch me," he says to you, taking your hand and placing it on his shoulder.
He then glides your hand down his neck and chest, he makes you feel every inch of his pale skin with him. However, when he looks at you, your eyes remain on his.
"You feel so warm, Chris," you lowly mutter.
He brings your hand close to his mouth and kisses it, then crashes his lips on yours.
The gap between your bodies becomes non-existent as you keep pulling him close, he relents by lowering himself on top of you and props an elbow against the mattress to not put his whole weight on you.
Lips locked, hands around each other, bodies pressed together and the temperature keeps on rising in the room. Chan makes you feel every part of his lips brushing and gliding over yours. He skillfully parts your mouth open with his tongue so he can kiss you deep and hard, yet slow until you run out of breath.
At the same time, his hand makes its way down until his fingers land on your delicate flesh. He touches it tenderly, running his fingers between the folds, and drags them upward to rub on your bundle of nerves.
"Ah..." you moan against his lips as you curve your hand around his neck and pull him incredibly closer.
Judging from it, he knows he's doing it right and he should continue, he applies gentle pressures on your clit, making you drenched and that way, he can slowly put a digit inside of you.
You let go of his kiss to let out a moan and your head falls onto the pillow as he puts another digit into you, two fingers pumping in and out of you.
Chan intently watches as your face contorted along to the pleasure, how your jaws slack open and breathless moans keep spilling out of your parted mouth.
The way you clench around his fingers makes him impatient to feel you and how tight you feel around him, and the noises you make oh, they're his new favorite tune that he wants to keep listening to until his eardrums burst.
He glances down as he pulls his fingers out of you and finds them thickly coated with your essence, it doesn't stop him from shoving them into his mouth and lick them clean.
Chan holds you by the chin to keep you still as he kisses you, "Give me a second to get a condom, yeah?" He says to you and you nod in answer.
He makes his to the bathroom and pulls the drawer open to take a condom. To save time, he decides to put it on right away, he tears through the foil packet with his teeth and rolls the rubber down his hard length.
On the way out, he catches his reflection in the mirror and gets reminded that this is not about him. Tonight, it's all about you.
He returns to the bedroom, finding you still lying in bed naked and hugging yourself. He climbs onto the bed and lowers himself on you, letting you absorb his body heat to warm you.
Craving for another taste of it, he goes down and plants his mouth on your cunt next, tasting you right on his tongue.
You're squirming as his tongue laps over your wetness, drinking in on your essence and then using it to circle on your clit.
He's not the only one getting impatient and asking more of it, you both want it and there's no wasting time anymore. Just before he takes it to the next part, he places a long, tender kiss on your clit and immediately brings his mouth to yours again so you can taste yourself on him.
"I'm going in, mmh?" He says as he endearingly brushes your hair away from your face.
You hold on to his shoulder as he settles himself between your legs, aligning his cock with your entrance but before that, he rubs his length between your folds, lubricating it with your essence.
Your hands fly to your chest, hugging yourself again as you lowly moan to his hard length rubbing over your clit and then, pushing its way into you.
"Goodness fu—" he can't even finish his sentence without breaking into a satisfied groan.
It's just the tip but he can already feel how tight you are around him, he's scared yet excited to push more of him into you. He reorganizes his breathing and rests his hand on your abdomen to do it.
Chan looks down to check and he still has a little more of him that needs to be inside you, he sharply inhales air through his nostrils and pushes the remaining length in one quick push.
"Oh..." you breathlessly moan as you're squeezing on your breasts.
Chan allows himself to take a moment to adjust himself to being inside you and you seem to also need time to adjust to his size because you feel so incredibly tight around him. It makes him wonder how this little thing can take him so well.
He takes your hands away from your chest and puts them around his shoulders, that way he can put his body on top of you, lips locked with yours again in no time as you wrap your legs around his waist, sending him deeper inside you.
As he takes a breath in between kisses, you hold his face and look at him with a different kind of sadness in your eyes which only reminds him that his initial plan is to make it go away.
He starts thrusting into you, wanting to fuck this sadness out of you. He wants to make you think of nothing but how his cock fills you full and how good he is fucking you right now, and soon, he's going to make you feel nothing but immense pleasure.
"Ah... ah... ah..." you moan for every thrust going into you and the skin-slapping sounds echo along with it in the room.
Chan plants his mouth on your breasts to contain his grunts and groans while keeping the steady motion of his hips pulsating against you.
A hand reaches for his chin and forces him to look at you, instantly engaged in eye contact with you. He continues thrusting into you with eyes looking deep into you, they're no longer looking like bottomless pits, they look like deep oases that he wants to dive into.
The next thing he knows, Chan finds himself deep in you, not just physically but also connected with you in a way that he's never experienced with anyone else until now. He feels barer than he already is and instead of shutting himself off, he embraces it and lets you in.
Soon enough, he finds himself lost in it and fully connects himself to you in a way that lets him know how it feels to love without fears or insecurities holding him back, without worrying if it's being reciprocated or not, to love wholly and completely.
"Oh," you let out a broken moan and that's when he notices that you break into tears again.
Chan abruptly stops moving, afraid that something he does is hurting you without realizing it.
"No, keep going, keep going," you tell him with your voice hoarse.
He needs to make sure to continue, he cups your jaw and asks, "Are you okay?"
"Yes, please, keep going, please," You repeatedly nod and plead with your teary eyes.
He wants you to stop crying, he wants you to stop thinking about what hurts you and start to see him as he tries to take this pain away from you. His body picks up the pace, going impossibly fast and also taking himself close to his high.
Your eyes are screwed shut, your breath is ragged and your hands are gripping onto his shoulders, overwhelmed by the pleasure that he brought on you.
The moment he's sure that you already come to your climax, he allows himself to let go and uses all of his strength to give you a few more thrusts until there's nothing left in him but waves of pleasure that wash over him.
"Chris..." you softly call and then pull him for a chaste kiss on his lips, "Thank you."
Chan's face hovers only inches above you as he softly gazes into your eyes, you look so fragile and open like a wound and he's just glad that he can make your heartache gone even just for a while.
"Shh..." he stops you from talking by running his thumb over your lips and then kisses you with his heart wide open. He lets this beautiful feeling pour out of him and into you.
"No, thank you," he mutters his gratitude between kisses.
Thanks to you, he experiences something he's never felt before with someone else, something new, something pure and real, something that feels a lot like love.
When he wakes up in the morning and finds you're not there, it hits him that maybe it is love but Chan is not ready to admit it yet.
-
A week passes and Chan hasn't seen you ever since that night.
He can't tell if you're avoiding him or needing the space and time to piece yourself back from the break-up, he hopes it's the latter. Gosh! Let him be right.
Regardless of what happened, he can live with the fact that you despise him but it would be sad to know if you choose to go down the path of believing that you're not going to find love again.
Chan just needs to know if you're doing okay, that's what matters for now.
Fortunately, the two of you have been neighbors for quite a long time to learn your routine and knockabouts. He knows what you like to do on a Saturday morning, he goes to the lobby and chats with the concierge as he waits.
At the first sight of you entering the apartment building, his heart palpation, and in all honesty, he's just so happy to finally see you after a while.
Are you not seeing him there? Or you're just pretending which only confirms his initial thought that you've been, in fact, avoiding him.
You're walking through the lobby carrying a bag of groceries in your arm, you skip checking on the mailbox and go straight to the elevator. It just happens that the elevator is vacant and the doors slide open after you push the button.
Chan decides to take the risk, sprinting to get into the elevator before the doors close. You already despise him so a little more hate shouldn't be a problem to him.
"Morning, sunshine," He greets you with his dimpled grin.
"Good morning," you politely reply without looking at him.
Things are going back to normal and he should be glad, right? At least, you're back to your usual settings of looking stoic and acting polite, and the best thing about it is you're still talking to him.
"I should learn to avoid people from you. You're good at it," he pushes it a bit just to see if he can crack through this facade.
"Excuse me?" Your head turns his way and with your eyes widen, "I have not been avoiding anyone."
Chan holds the urge to smile for successfully getting your attention and rests his back against the cold, metal furnace of the elevator, "Are you sure?"
"Well, we're seeing each other now," you tell him.
"That's because I know you like to go to the farmer's market every Saturday morning," he says at the same time, admitting that he knows about your routine.
You slowly turn your body facing him and squint your eyes at him, "You've been keeping tabs on me?"
"It's my favorite pastime activity," he shamelessly answers then pokes his cheek with his tongue.
"It's better than watching porn," he playfully adds, something that he knows will annoy you the right way.
"Ugh!" You groan as you look straight ahead.
Oddly enough, that's what he misses the most about it, interacting with you and seeing your reaction to his antics, but you, especially.
"Don't be so uptight," he coyly says.
He takes a step closer to you and puts his hand on the handlebar, "it's not like we haven't slept together or anything."
You let out a scoff and hoist the strap of your grocery bag higher on your shoulder, "I'm shocked you even remember," you say.
You turn your head next and your eyes immediately lock in a gaze with him, "I figure I'm just a low notch on a very long bedpost," you add.
"Are you calling me a man whore?" Chan says, feeling offended.
You take a step closer to him and daringly stare back into his eyes, "I didn't call you a man," you answer with a sly smirk.
There's a few seconds of silence until Chan realizes what you just said to him but you know what? He's going to give it to you, for now.
He looks at you and smiles, "Touche!"
You both look at each other and at the same time, burst into laughter, and it keeps going until the hilarity subsides with each passing second.
Is this real? Did you just poke fun at him with a beautiful smile on your face? Did you really laugh and the sound of not only echoing in this enclosed space but also in the back of his mind? Did he just see a different facial expression on you? Either way, he likes it and he likes how it makes him feel.
The elevator chimes open and soon, the doors part open. He lets you get off first and then takes his turn after, he gets a little disappointed as you both are going in the opposite direction.
"Hey, Chris," you call as he's only a couple of steps away from the door of his apartment.
His heart palpation again but he keeps his calm and then slowly, turns on his feet to face you, "Yes?"
"I'm cooking curry for dinner and I know it'll be not as good as the one you always ordered but you can come and..." your hand is fiddling with the strap of your grocery bag as you speak but your eyes remain steady on him, "see if it suits your taste."
And did you just invite him for dinner? Him, the neighbor you despise so much?
Chan acts coy and scratches the back of his head, he holds the urge to answer right away. He has a reputation to uphold and he reckons, you have to at least wait a minute for his answer.
"Yeah, okay, let's see," he nonchalantly answers but his smile tells otherwise.
You crack a laugh and nod, walking to your door with the keys jangling as you're unlocking it.
Chan thinks that's the end of it until you call his name again, his heart leaps this time and he almost flies his way to you.
"Yeah?"
"Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you what are we," you say with a smile then get inside of your apartment.
That's funny because, after that night, he was hoping that you would ask him that as most girls do but that's where he is wrong, you're not most girls, you are his neighbor whom Chan is secretly in love with.
-
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brairslair · 6 months ago
Text
just thinking abt relationship dynamics with the op boys <33
EVERYONE IS 18+ (minors dni)
a/n: currently have one piece brain rot and it is consuming me so here’s this! fem!reader and very suggestive + mentions sex, but no actual smut. NOT PROOFREAD 🙏🏻
don’t forget to like, reblog, comment, and follow to support my work! it always makes me day mwah
“of course i’m serious”
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luffy:
in usual luffy fashion, one of your very first interactions ends with him trying to convince you to join his pirate crew
at first you’re hesitant, rightfully so, having just met the guy
however, you’re quickly persuaded by his happy-go-lucky personality and loyalty to his crew
after finally joining the crew yourself, your relationship with luffy gradually melts from just being friendly crew mates to being so close that you would put your life on the line for him at a moment’s notice
he seems to have that effect on people
while you grow close with all of the strawhats, your relationship with luffy is different
within a few months you already feel like you’ve known him your entire life
the two of you never have a dull moment together
while you love to entertain his antics, you also know when to stay level headed and keep him grounded
and while your work ethic is always valued on the ship, luffy can always get you to relax and have a good laugh when you need a break
eventually the two of you start to literally finish each other’s sentences, and it freaks everyone else out every time
you balance each other out perfectly
the two of you can talk and laugh for hours and not get tired of each other’s company
definitely tries to teach you a little portuguese but does not have the patience
you guys have friendship bracelets and he never takes his off
over the years, your relationship begins to grow from best friends to something more
you notice the shift far before luffy does
luffy picks up on little changes, like the weird tingly feeling he gets in his stomach when he makes you laugh
he doesn’t really think much of it though and brushes it off
probably assumes he’s just hungry…
in fact, luffy probably doesn’t really comprehend his feelings until someone spells it out for him, but in his head it doesn’t really change anything
you’ve always been his go to, and that won’t change now
the shift from platonic to romantic is gradual, natural, and if you ask robin, entirely inevitable
(she predicted this from the very beginning when the crew met you in your hometown)
he’s confident and honest with you in sharing the way he feels once he comes to the realization, and you allow him the same courtesy
he doesn’t feel any reason to hide or be embarrassed about his feelings
to him, being your boyfriend just means being your best friend except better because you get to hold hands and kiss and stuff
nothing is awkward when you start dating
it just feels right
he’s always been a very touchy person, even before you started dating
now that you’re together though, he loves cuddling
sleeping just isn’t as comfy anymore if he isn’t laying on you
definitely bites you sometimes and he says it’s because you’re so awesome that he doesn’t know what else to do with himself
he holds your hand all the time and likes to swing them back and forth when you walk together
he also likes to carry you on his shoulders because it makes you laugh
he doesn’t really use pet names for you often, if at all, but he really likes it when you use them for him
will, however, give you absolutely ridiculous nicknames that he finds cute
he has obviously never had a girlfriend before you
he wasn’t really concerned with romance or sex at all actually until you
you definitely have to teach him a lot
like what you’d like to do on dates
and how to kiss
luffy didn’t really understand the appeal of kissing, but you seemed to want to do it so he figured he’d give it a try
after kissing you for the first time he can’t get enough
definitely understands now
a super messy kisser (ofc)
gets giddy when you smile or laugh into his kisses
he smiles into your kisses a lot himself because he’s just so happy to be with you
you also have to teach him about the concept of pda and public etiquette, because otherwise he just does not care and will literally start making out with you in front of the entire crew simply because he wants to kiss you
sex is of course also very new to luffy, and like kissing, he does not understand the appeal until you test the waters with him and his mind is blown
he didn’t realize it would be so fun
it’s almost always sloppy, but he’s very attentive to your requests and desires
he takes in everything you teach him and improves upon it, because he loves making you happy more than anything
kind of a little shit sometimes though because he definitely overstimulates you without even realizing it
never intentionally mean though, but can be a huge tease entirely by accident
loves giving you pretty things he finds like rocks, shells, and any cool trinkets he finds laying around
he just gets so excited to share everything with you, and you’re always the first person he wants to talk to about everything
even if it seems as simple as finding a cool rock
other than sprinkling in more couple-y things, your relationship dynamic really does remain the same as it had always been, best friends
the two of you never take life too seriously, and just allow yourselves to enjoy each other’s company
luffy may not be the most “romantic” boyfriend in a traditional sense, but he will do absolutely anything to see you happy and safe, and you the same for him
he doesn’t need to do any grand gestures to give you butterflies in your stomach
you are each other’s safe space
the two of you said the L word to each other well before you became a couple, but the first time he says it romantically is when you personally cook a three course meal and bake him his favorite sweets to celebrate his birthday
saying those words to each other feels so natural that you almost don’t realize you hadn’t been saying it this whole time until now
will willingly share his food with you if you ask, which is genuinely mind blowing to everyone including yourself
if he proposes to you it will be super out of the blue and unplanned, completely catching you off guard
the two of you could just be talking, having a normal conversation, maybe getting some work done around the ship, when all of a sudden he’s just like
“hey, do you wanna get married?”
probably heard sanji talking about weddings or something and was like, oh! we’re in love, we should get married too!
obviously you can’t legally get married being pirates trying to slip under marine radar, so luffy has franky make you both simple rings out of pieces of sea glass you picked out
the rings have each other’s initials engraved into them
after that, the two of you consider yourselves married and the rest of the crew follows suit
not much changes in your relationship other than your titles
he’ll proudly tell people you’re his wife if you do something cool in a fight or someone asks about you or something
but even without a proposal or a ring, the two of you were always going to be forever
zoro:
when you first meet zoro, you see him as cocky, brazen, and extremely annoying
the two of you clash almost immediately
after luffy somehow manages to convince you to join the crew, the close proximity only makes it worse
the two of you are constantly at each other’s throats, taking any opportunity to push each other’s buttons
nami often jokes that “the two of you bicker like an old married couple”, which does not go over well with either of you
for months the two of you are rivals, making everything a competition to see who’s better than the other
however, after a while you begin to see zoro’s true colors through the cracks
his dedication to his craft, the respect he has for luffy, the kindness he tries to mask beneath a hardened exterior, and his absolute undying loyalty
it makes you begin to wonder why you began to dislike him in the first place
over time, your bickering becomes less venomous and more playful, bantering back and forth for the fun of it
you pick up new habits like sparring with zoro every day, telling him it’s because “the only way to beat your rival is to know his weaknesses”
or zoro waking you up at the crack of dawn to do laps around the deck because he heard you say you weren’t a morning person once, except he brings you coffee exactly the way you like it, every time
eventually your relationship snowballs into friendship
the two of you still bicker and banter, butting heads every once in a while
but now you also laugh at each other’s jokes
and sit together in comfortable silence just to be in each other’s presence
and eventually, you get to the point where the two of you can share your deepest, darkest secrets, fears, and desires, that nobody else is allowed to hear
he makes you feel safe, and you know you are with him
without even realizing it, your relationship starts sinking into something much deeper than friendship
whenever you’re off the ship, zoro is almost always at your side, practically attached to you, making sure you’re never in harms way
the two of you can basically read each other’s minds, seemingly able to communicate without a single word shared between you
neither of you are even conscious of your feelings for one another until nami catches the two of you sound asleep on the desk with your head resting in zoro’s lap and runs to tell usopp
when you do begin to realize how you feel, neither of you bring it up, too afraid to ruin what you already have
but you don’t need to
your bodies and minds are practically interlinked, bending at each other’s will
your relationship stays mostly the same, only gradually and organically becoming closer
running errands together on new islands, napping together more often than you do apart, sitting next to each other during meals, etc
eventually your mutual feelings become almost unbearable, and you finally cross the line between friends and lovers
you would probably have to be the one to make the first move, because not only is zoro insanely stubborm, but he’s also uncharacteristically easily flustered
your first kiss feels like pieces clicking into place, or feeling the warmth of the sun in the dead of winter
as cheesy as it sounds, it feels like home
there’s no conversation about feelings, or asking you to be his girlfriend, you just are
like all the seasons of your relationship, the shift is slow, and goes unnoticed for a while by most of your crew mates
robin, nami, and usopp are the first to notice, seeing you fall asleep against his chest instead of his lap, or seeing you whispering secret conversations up in the crows nest when you think the others are asleep
eventually everyone is made aware of your relationship when you challenge zoro to a drinking game at a party, ending with you getting drunk off your ass and kissing him before immediately passing out against his shoulder
zoro is not a fan of pda, so for the most part, your relationship remains the same around the crew and on islands
still bickering and making up stupid competitions to challenge yourselves, but now theres a softer, more intimate side to your relationship
he will occasionally do passive agressieve little things to rub your relationship in sanji’s face though if he’s flirting with you too much for his liking
like whispering something dirty in your ear to make you get all flustered, or wrapping his arm around your waist to guide you into the dining room
he partly does it to get a rise out of sanji, sure, but mostly because he loves the reaction it gets out of you
the bond you share is clearly special, and thats something that everyone can see
however, your relationship is much different when you’re alone
it’s much more domestic
quieter
you know each other like the back of your hands at this point, so sometimes theres no need for words
the silence is soothing
other times, the two of you can talk for hours
he’ll gladly listen to you ramble on about anything and everything thats on your mind if you want to
and he’ll hang onto every word
he’s also a bit more touchy and vocal in private
he’ll massage your sore muscles after a particularly tough sparring session
or rub his thumb across your hip where he holds you against his chest, mumbling compliments into your hair
he’s another man who never really thought about relationships until you came along, so he’s quite inexperienced in a lot of areas
he picks up quickly and adapts, following the signals that your body sends him and adjusting accordingly
sex with him is either extremely intimate and gentle, or he’s being a total pain in the ass and teasing the shit out of you
either way, he’s hyper aware of your every move and action
his main objective is always to please you, because he quite literally would do anything for you
in his eyes you deserve the world handed to you on a silver platter, and he wants to be the one holding the plate
neither of you need to hear the words to know that you love each other irrevocably
you can see it in every move that he makes, and he can hear it in the beating of your heart
when the words are shared it’s in the hushed privacy that only you will ever share, or after a particularly life threatening battle
zoro knows that he’s yours forever like he knows he needs oxygen to breathe, but he’s also not a sappy romantic like the cook
he would bring up the idea of marriage in casual conversation to see where your head is at
the two of you have extremely healthy communication, always 100% honest with each other
if you don’t like the idea of marriage he would drop the subject and never bring it up again, content to just be with you
but if you do like the idea of getting married, he would propose right then (very informally)
“why don’t we get married then?”
“are you serious?”
“of course i’m serious. let’s get married.”
the two of you would pick out simple wedding bands on the next island you docked at, stealing away for the day to allow yourselves to bask in your new beginning
the rest of the crew would also totally freak out at dinner when they see the sparkling new jewelry adorning your fingers
sanji:
as we all know, sanji is a lover of women
he’s also a hopeless romantic
from the moment you join the crew, he’s completely head over heels
he thinks you are absolutely the most stunning woman he’s ever laid eyes on in his life
while he dotes on you, you don’t really pay him any mind at all at first
you see the way he treats other women, and you know he’s simply a flirt by nature, so why would it be any different when it’s aimed towards you?
and it first, it’s really not that much different
he just finds you mesmerizing, but it’s nothing more than an infatuation
but as some time goes by and he and the rest of crew get to know you, it turns into something more
you become friends first, quickly forming a strong bond
you keep him company while he cooks, allowing him to teach you different techniques and recipes
you listen to him talk about his dreams, and he returns the favor, judgement free
sanji quickly realizes he’s fallen for you
like for real
the feeling scares him at first, never having felt so many intense emotions about one person before
but the fear is quickly overcome by determination to devote himself to you in every way
he takes care of your every need, defends your honor when necessary, and is always there for you when you need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on
you don’t catch onto your feelings until months after sanji pinpointed his, long after you had already plummeted far away from feelings that could be considered platonic
you make the first move, and neither of you hesitate to leap right into it
he set’s up dates for the two of you frequently
compliments you up and down, every word sincere
he gets super flustered and giddy when you compliment his cooking
never forgets an anniversary, valentines day, or your birthday, and always goes all out to make sure it’s extra special for you
sanji isn’t inexperienced per-se, but he also hasn’t been with many women
however, he has a talent for this sort of thing, and his movements are smooth and fluid, never unsure
he kisses you like a man starved, gentle at first, quickly becoming more passionate and hungry because you’re absolutely irresistible
he’s handles you the same way in the bedroom
gentle and passionate
sanji always finds a way to make sex super romantic
he likes to hold your hand, and give you kisses, and tell you how much he loves you
he has a CD burned with a bunch of super sweet love songs, and it doubles as a slow dance playlist and a sex playlist
after you become official, it’s no secret to the crew
sanji is practically shouting it from the rooftops
he’s even more over the top than before, waiting on you hand and foot
loves holding you, and intertwining your fingers when the two of you go looking for ingredients on whatever island you’re docked at
loves hugs and cuddles obviously
always holds doors open for you, pulls out your chair, offers you his coat, and kisses your hand like a proper gentleman
also uses so many pet names for you that you can’t even keep track of them all
still a massive flirt even though you’re already his, and reaffirm that truth every single day
your relationship is very flirty in general
he can dish it out way better than he can take it
he gets flustered sooooo easily when you give him a taste of his own medicine
even though he’s quite eccentric in the way he loves you, he can also be really soft when the moment’s right
the two of you can giggle about stupid hypotheticals one second and be having a deep philosophical conversation the next
sanji tells you he loves you for the first time within like the first 3 weeks of you dating
and he means it 100% too
he absolutely worships you and thinks he must have been a saint in a past life to be able to deserve you reciprocating his feelings
sanji’s known since the very beginning that he was going to marry you some day
as romantic as he is, he cooks you a wonderful meal, just for the two of you
he lights up the place with dozens of candles and rose petals scattered everywhere
and by some miracle he summons the will power to get through dinner with you, before finally beginning his long speech, pouring out all of his love for you like poetry
he kneels on one knee before you, and the ring is barley slipped onto your finger before he has your back pressed against the kitchen counter
oops!
the two of you throw a little ceremony with the crew on the next island you dock at, with vows and a dress and everything
sanji refused to let you settle for anything less than perfect, because you deserved to have a real wedding
his vows are gut wrenchingly gorgeous btw
cries when he sees you walking down the aisle
he makes sure to call you “my wife” as much as humanly possible, and kisses your ring all the time
usopp:
you and usopp became friends pretty much the second you joined the crew
you both have such a similar sense of humor, and you love listening to his ridiculous stories
he lovessss gossiping with you and it’s your favorite pastime
and of course you help him craft his weapons
the two of you are basically inseperable
you do absolutely everything together
you help each other get through your day to day tasks, talking and joking your way through them
you watch him practice his aim and cheer him on
you like laying down together and looking at the shapes the clouds make
you sit next to each other at meals most of the time so that you can gossip with your eyes
but sometimes if you sit across from each other you have staring contests
you don’t know when or how it happened, but somewhere over the years you and usopp fell desperately in love with each other
everyone knows how you feel for each other, hell even you know how usopp feels about you, but he’s completely oblivious to it all
the only reason you haven’t made a move yet is because nami made a bet with you to see how long it takes him to fess up, and neither of you are allowed to “interfere”
he finally confesses to you one night after a long celebration for another strawhat victory
you always make fun of him for being such a lightweight, but tonight it really shows
completely wasted after only two shots, he finally professes his love for you
nami won the bet, but you honestly couldn’t care less
the next day he’s probably super embarrassed, but once you tell him you feel the same way he’s SO relieved
he gets flustered so easily it’s a little humorous
you barely even have to do anything to make him a blushing stuttering mess
most of the time you do it by accident
he has a staring problem because everything you do is so mesmerizing to him
you take your relationship fairly slow
he gets insanely flustered every time you hold his hand
he LOVES cuddling but he has to hide his face against you because he gets so dazed just by being so close to you
the first time you kissed him he almost passed out
he cannot believe you actually want to be with him
once he’s more comfortable with the concept that you really do want him as much as he wants you, he kisses you all the time
your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, your knuckles, and most importantly, your lips
his kisses are gentle and cautious at first, growing more confident the longer you’re together, but still always soft
the crew thinks you’re the cutest couple ever, sometimes disgustingly so
usopp is extremely inexperienced, despite the stories he tells that suggest otherwise, so you make sure to let him set the pace
when he’s ready to take the relationship a step further, he’s a bit clumsy at first, but eager to learn
talks a big game, but when it comes down to it he always “lets you” take the lead
loves bragging about you and telling people that you’re his girlfriend
he’s just so proud to be with you
literally thinks you’re the coolest person ever
you guys are still best friends even though you’re also so much more than that
you still gossip, and do your work together, and make ridiculous jokes, and are there for each other no matter what
if marriage is something you want, you would have to hint at it heavy
because he is not going to come up with the idea to propose otherwise
not because he doesn’t want to marry you, but simply because he’s never even thought about marriage like that before
it take him weeks to work up the courage to finally propose, but he would do it all “the right way” because you deserve a real proposal
takes you out on the deck to watch the sunset and then he’s down on one knee with a ring box in hand
gets teary eyed asking you to marry him, and cries happy tears with you when you say yes
you would have a simple ceremony on the ship, just vows, rings, and a kiss, and just like that, you’re husband and wife
chopper would 100% be the ring bearer and nami would be the flower girl
brags about you, and makes sure to include you in all of his stories
no matter how long you guys have been together, his wild imagination never gets old
law:
you were on the brink of death when law found you, taking you onto the polar tang to perform a life saving operation
you could barely remember what even caused the injuries in the first place by the time you woke up, but you had never been more grateful in your entire life
you owed you’re life to him
so you insisted on joining his crew, promising to repay him for saving your life, even though he assured you it wasn’t necessary
you stayed anyways of course
your relationship started out strictly professional
he was the captain, and you were the crewmate
you were friendly with each other of course, but that was the extent of it
over time, you grew closer
you started getting tasked with him with his personal tasks while he worked, allowing the two of you to spend a lot of time in each other’s company
eventually your simple conversations became staying for hours after all the work had been completed just so that you could continue talking
you bonded over similar interests and shared knowledge, realizing you had more in common than you initially thought
after that the years seemed to fly by, blossoming friendship getting stronger until you could practically read each other’s thoughts, and then one day it all became much bigger than either of you had anticipated
you have both somehow managed to fall in love with each other, and neither of you dared to speak a word of it to anyone, even yourselves
you’re too scared of being rejected and humiliated, and law is absolutely terrified of being in love at all
he has absolutely no idea how to handle his feelings, so instead he bottles them up and stores them away in the hopes that they’ll just vanish
they don’t vanish
instead they get bigger and bigger, until it’s all consuming and he can’t think of a single thing that is not you
meanwhile, you’re trying desperately to suppress your own feeling and failing miserably
the two of dance around each other, tension so thick it radiated to everyone else on the crew
you’re interactions become shorter, both of you unable to be in the presence of the other for too long before you felt like you were going to say something stupid
eventually it all reaches a peak, and while working in his office one night he can’t fight his impulses, so before he can overthink it he finally just kisses you
his kiss is heated and filled with a million emotions he doesn’t know how to express with words
your relationship remains the same outside of your shared privacy, so most of the crew doesn’t even know you guys are together for months
if anyone does pick up on it, it’s because both of you are in considerably better moods for weeks after your first kiss
he lets you paint his nails and do his eyeliner
gets really affectionate when he’s tired
he isn’t the best communicator, but you’re patient and he tries his best
law is somewhat experienced, only having been with a few women in the past, but it’s enough for him to know what he’s doing
he has no problem taking the reigns, and easily slips any semblance of control right out of your grasp
sex is either super soft and romantic or he’s really mean, depends on his mood
loves having his hands all over you whenever he can
also gets really cocky and his smile when he’s like that is deadly
doesn’t say it often, but makes sure to show you every day how much he absolutely adores you
he’s so in love with you it drives him a little crazy sometimes, but he doesn’t say that
instead he saves his smiles only for you, kisses every inch of your skin, and holds you impossibly close to him while he whispers sweet praises and confessions in your ear
when law does say “i love you”, he makes sure you know how much he means it
he cherishes your late night conversations, whispered beneath the sheets
while the crew does know of your relationship now, you still don’t really act like a couple at all in front of anyone else aside from very subtle things
you always make law coffee in the morning and he thanks you for it with a kiss to the cheek before getting breakfast
and he whispers things to you all the time, just wanting to share things with you even if he may not want to share them with the rest of the crew
your relationahip changes slightly you become his wife
he never really liked the idea of marriage, but with you, he’s open to anything that would make you happy
if you want to get married, that’s what will happen
the rings would be extremely simple, but engraved with something incredibly sweet to remind you of how much he loves you, even if he isn’t able to tell you so as often as he thinks he should
there wouldn’t be any ceremony, just the rings, but it’s enough for you
after that he’d be a bit more affectionate with you in front of the crew, the occasional peck, and domestic touches
it’s usually subconscious and goes unnoticed unless someone points it out
he can’t help himself, you’re his wife, and he’s surprised by how much he loves the new title on you
ace:
very flirty with you from the very beginning
compliments you all the time
thinks you’re the hottest person in the world and is very vocal about it
the two of you literally just flirt with each other like 24/7 but still say “we’re just friends”
pisses everyone else off
you know ace has a history with women, so you figured it was safe to assume that you simply followed that pattern
so the two of you go on like that for months, so obviously crazy about each other that it quickly becomes annoying to everyone around you
the solution? set you up, obviously
some of your crew mates make it their mission to finally get you two together
setting up romantic settings where the two of you just happen to be alone
pairing you up on chores and tasks
they may or may not lock the two of you together in a closet for like an hour
it only takes a few weeks to finally get you to crack
ace is a cocky bastard about it, but also literally bouncing off the walls because he’s wanted you for forever
he fell first, you fell harder type shit
huge dork
can be pretty childish sometimes, but in an endearing way
but he does know how to read the room and take things seriously when necessary
never fails to make you feel better if you’ve had a rough day
loves seeing you in his clothes !!!!
literally the biggest flirt and tease ever, no matter how long you’ve been together
very touchy and just wants to be close to you
despite the fiery passion woven through his personality, he kisses you like he has all the time in the world
extremely good kisser, and enjoys pulling away to watch you chase his lips and try to catch your breath wayyyyy too much
50% slutty and 50% the most romantic man on the planet
he’ll literally be making the most obscene noises in your ear and then say something so butterfly inducing and poetic that you feel like you could cry
very experienced, and it shows in everything he does
he knows exactly how to read what you need, and just what to do to have you a complete mess by the time he’s done with you
slutty waist 🗣️🗣️
king of the knee thing
loves when you give him hickeys too so he can show off that he’s yours
also pretty open about pda
he doesn’t like make out with you in the middle of a bar or anything, but he definitely does not shy away from showing you love just because there are people around either
your relationship is surprisingly mature, and you have really good communication
definitely would carry you on his back, shoulders, bridal style, or just pick you up and spin you around cause it makes you smile
if he proposes it would be planned, but not necessarily traditional or formal
he’d plan some sort of fun activity for the day, like a picnic or something, and then you turn around and he’s kneeling on the ground in front of you
would pick the PRETTIEST ring
he’d also be smiling like crazy through the entire proposal cause he wants to marry you right this second
as soon as the ring is on your finger he’s already making stupid jokes that have you rolling your eyes
would “elope” (unofficially) on an island and then see how long it takes for everyone to notice
possibly making a bet to see who catches on first
once the rest of the crew knows, he takes everyyyy opportunity to call you his wife or by his last name, and giggles like a kid every single time
asks are open!
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rafeysbunny · 2 months ago
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heyyyyyyyy! I have a thought. Do you think that reader could get rafe to beg? Like maybe he did smth that pissed reader off so she’s been ignoring him but rage just can’t take it anymore? I love your writing so honestly just go crazy
-👻 anon
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a/n. first ask, i'm so excited! in answer to your question: yes! absolutely, yes! this man is soo pussy whipped, he'd do anything for reader. ty for the request, babe!
two hours of you giving rafe the cold shoulder it's all it takes for him to break. he knows he fucked up greatly, but you're just being so mean that he cannot help the way his lips curl into a pout as he kneels in front of you, pleading for your forgiveness.
only you could get rafe motherfucking cameron to beg like this.
"baby, 'm so, so sorry," he apologizes, big hands gripping onto your plush thighs tightly so you can't get away from him this time, not again. "forgive me, yeah? i know i screwed up, and i'm sorry."
his lips start peppering kisses over the sliver of bare skin under the hem of your top as he keeps muttering words of repentance, the actions making your heart melt. "it won't happen again, i promise to you, angel."
"i'm really pissed at you right now, rafe," you address him for the first time in hours, voice tone sharp.
he doesn't care how cold you sound, though, the fact that you're finally talking to him instead of ignoring his presence nearly makes him cry happy tears. how embarrassing is that? he can't believe you got him this hooked. he should be the one in charge, not you, but, let's be honest, he's too in love with you to even care anymore.
"i know, baby, i'm sorry," he repeats for the hundredth time, puppy, blue eyes staring up at you entreatingly. "what can i do for you to forgive me? i'll do anything, just please, stop being mad."
"anything?"
a mischievous smirk spreads across your pretty face, your mind already conjuring up all the filthy ways he could make it up to you.
"anything, angel."
that's how he ends up tied up to the bed, hands desperately tugging at the fluffy, pink handcuffs in a failed attempt to break free of them while you ride his pretty face. he's fucking drowning in your pussy, dick achingly hard inside his pants.
what a shame you won't make him cum this time, as a little punishment.
your hips rock against his face unabashedly, feeling the way his eager tongue parts your chubby folds to drink up your sweet essence, occasionally slipping inside your pussy to fuck you with it. his nose is rubbing your puffy clit every time you grind down, which has you mewling and shuddering atop him.
"i love you so much, baby," he'd mumble against your cunt, totally mesmerised by the hypnotic sway of your hips and your taste.
your flesh muffle his words and grunts, but you understand what he says and look down at him with adoring eyes, just to find him staring up at you in the same way, pink lips glistening with a combination of your arousal and his spit.
the sight is enough to send you spiralling into a mind blowing orgasm that makes you let out the most lewd moan you've ever made, body shaking as your legs close around his head, almost suffocating him.
"fuck, i love you too," you breath out, the aftershocks of your climax making your brain dizzy. "i forgive you, rafey."
honestly, he doesn't quite understand how this could be a punishment for him, but he's not one to complain.
more.
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rafesweetie · 9 days ago
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need a jealous bsf!rafe x reader where he is possessive and doesn’t want other guys touching her even though he touches other girls, so she is basically over it and at a party, she dances on another guy and he gets mad
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౨ৎ in which bsf!rafe just can’t help wanting to protect you.
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you were done with rafe cameron. you’ve decided it. he was your best friend, sure, but he was controlling, mean, overly protective, and he acted like he owned you or something. so you were completely done with him, forever.
this is the third time you’ve promised yourself that, and news flash — you never dropped him.
it wasn’t your fault, you try to tell yourself every time. he just wouldn’t let you leave him, shutting you up whenever you’d even try and be reasonable with him, yelling louder than you or slamming his palm over your mouth. but a little part of you knows that you like the attention. you like that rafe cares so much about you, even if it does ruin your chances of getting a boyfriend. today is the day that you break the pattern though, and rebel against his constant authority.
parties are where rafe thrives. he’s like a celebrity, it always wonders you how much people love him. during parties, he keeps less of an eye on you, assuming you’re just busy gossiping with your friends. but little does he know, you’ve found a boy — it wasn’t often you’d get the opportunity to chat with a boy that wasn’t rafe, and you were loving every second of it. you felt so free from your friend’s gaze, listening to the boy talk, his deep voice vibrating your brain.
but the issue was, the boy was boring. he didn’t talk about cool things, like dirtbikes or his life or death adventures or money. you hated to say it, but he just wasn’t rafe. your mind kept flashing back to him, how much more you smile and enjoy his company. maybe rafe was right. you just didn’t need boys when you have him.
you’re so close to excusing yourself from the boy, going back to rafe’s arm and giggling with him and talking with your faces really close together. you glance back to where he is, ready to retreat, until you see it. you see her.
you’re not sure who she is, but she bothers you. her hair is so gorgeous and healthy, and you can’t see her face from behind but she must be gorgeous. her arm is on rafe’s bicep — your bicep, the one you always hang onto while you’re walking with rafe. you hate that you’re jealous. rafe’s your friend, not your boyfriend, you have no reason to be. but it’s like you can’t control it, your rage, and before you know it, you’re blinking back any potential tears and touching on this boy — this stranger — like there’s no tomorrow. tyla is blasting through the speakers, and yours and these boy’s hands are all over each other’s bodies. you really hope rafe sees you like this, drunk off the smirnoff pink lemonades and enjoying another mans company.
it really doesn’t take long for him to notice. he’s so predictable. shrugging the girls hand off of him, rushing over to his dear friend to get her away from this lowlife.
usually he’d reason with you. coax you away from the boy nicely and lecture you. but he’d had a few beers and a line of coke and he was in no mood for politeness. a rough hand pushes the boy away by the chest, and rafe isn’t muttering a word to anyone, grabbing your wrist and stomping away with you stumbling behind.
he pushes you into a spare bedroom, the first private place he could find. sitting you on the edge of the bed, he starts pacing in front of you and rubbing his face as if this was hurting his head. it’s like your brain flicks a switch, back to “rafe rafe rafe” as you’re sat there with tears brimming your eyes, fiddling with your manicure as you bat your eyelashes up at him, remembering the girl flirting with him, and now you making him mad, and now he’s got you in a puddle of guilt.
“shit— it’s like, you never do what i say, huh?” he mutters, still pacing. “you know i do everything to protect you, kid. you even know who that fuckin’ guy was? no, m’sure you don’t, cause you don’t think. thought by now my voice would be in your pretty head, there to help you make some smart decisions every once in a while. but nah, nah, you see one other boy and it’s back to square one with you,”
you go to speak, glossy lips parting, but he shuts you up with a quick “no”, and stopping pacing to go kneel in front of you.
“everything i do — for you, okay? for you. my girl,” he often calls you that, it makes you weak every time. he grabs your hands. “stop fiddling, paid for this polish.” you stop instantly. “i know— i know you think that my protectiveness is, uh, stupid, but i need to be like this, or you’re gonna get hurt. i know you, baby. i need to be all over you for you to even have a slight awareness to not do stupid things. so i do take some ownership over you in that sense—“
you cut him off, muttering a, “don’t want you to take ownership.”
he huffs. “yeah, but i do, so…” he shrugs. “you’re mine. my friend, my girl. so i don’t like it when someone else touches my girl, or when you’re the one intiating it. makes me so fuckin’ angry, kid, makes me wanna, like—“ he cuts himself off. “so i need you to knock it off.”
you wanna argue so badly, but your brain turns to mush around him. so you sniffle and nod hesitantly.
“no, i want a ‘yes rafe.’ need your words.”
“i just think that—“ you try.
he cuts you off. “yes rafe. say it with me.”
“..yes, rafe.” you both say.
he squeezes your hands and gets up. “yeah, there you go, good girl. now do you, uh, need a minute, fix your makeup, or d’you wanna go back down there and hang out with me?”
your hand goes to his bicep as you stand up with him, and a ghost of a smile appears on his lips. “wanna go with you,” you say softly, leaning into him a bit.
“yeah, that’s what i thought.”
2K notes · View notes
neonln4 · 2 months ago
Text
i found a good boy, and he's on my side | lando norris smau
lando norris x reader | a little bit of best friend!oscar
summary: when y/n's ex writes a messy song about her, fans push for lando to break up with her (he doesn't even consider it)
fc: sabrina carpenter
kind of a part 2 to what a coincidence, but you don't have to read part 1 for this to make sense
warnings: non-existent angst, lando very much in love with y/n, very brief mention of cheating (not lando), maybe some typos
note: y/e = your ex
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yourex
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liked by user1 and 593,827 others
yourex Biting My Tongue out tonight
Finally sharing my truth
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user1 WE LOVE YOU Y/E
user2 ready for the tea 🍿
ynfan2 PLEASE LEAVE Y/N ALONE I BEG WE'RE OVER YOU
ynfan1 "sharing my truth" OHHHH BROTHER
user3 the y/n fans getting nervous
ynfan2 not nervous, sick of his lies
user2 perhaps y/n isn't as perfect as you think
user4 anyone else just here for the music
user5 @ yourusername YOU ARE SO OVER
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris, yourbff, and 1,138,827 others
yourusername leng
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ynfan2 UNBOTHERED QUEEN
user2 is she just pretending her ex didn't drop a shady song about her
user6 lando still in the likes ... this is so sad
yourbff your reminder to not wear the red top this weekend
yourusername you've seen my outfits already TRUST there's no red in sight
landonorris that's my girl
ynfan1 MOTHER IS GOING TO SILVERSTONE
user4 how has lando not dumped you yet
user5 you really don't deserve lando
user3 HAS LANDO HEARD THE SONG YET? DUMP HER!!!
ynfan3 what's with all the loser hate comments
landonorris my girlfriend is sooooo leng now come give me a kiss
yourusername calm down
yourusername on my way tho
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landonorris
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liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername, and 983,492
landonorris a little summer fun
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user1 JEALOUS
yourusername who's the baddie
landonorris that's my girlfriend mate back off
ynfan2 WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS
user3 waiting for the dumping...
user4 crazy that they're still together
user8 i think some of y'all are a bit dramatic, the song wasn't even that bad and it's just his perspective
ynfan3 A LANDO FAN WITH A BRAIN
yourbff last pic i want her baddddd
landonorris so you don't want [redacted]'s number anymore?
yourbff WAIT I TAKE IT BACK
ynfan2 QUEEN Y/BFF FINALLY APPROVING OF ONE OF Y/N'S MEN
oscarpiastri you stole my best friend
yourusername we literally have plans next week
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,293,283 others
yourusername is this thing on? 🎤
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ynfan1 MOTHER IN THE STUDIO!!!!!
ynfan2 the last pic has me crying 😭😭 i just know she's about to be a menace
user2 if she's actually making a response song that's kinda pathetic
user3 right? her fans all say y/e is using her for fame but she's also doing it
yourbff let me hear it first
oscarpiastri i better get the link first
landonorris ignore both of them, i get first dibs
user1 THE DRAMA if she's making a response song lando better get out of there quick before he's her next victim
user4 WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
ynfan3 all these haters camping on y/n's post omg she's so famous
ynfan4 WE LOVE YOU Y/N IGNORE THE LOSERS
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,428,372 others
yourusername my turn🩷
surprise! planned to keep these in the vault, but i guess things change. 'vicious' and 'eternal sunshine' live performances out now on youtube! studio version out friday 💋
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landonorris proud of you love 🤍
yourusername 🧡🧡🧡
ynfan2 OH MY GOD NO WAYYYYYYY
ynfan3 "my turn🩷" THAT'S MOTHERRRRRRRRR
ynfan1 love lando supporting her through it all that's a good man
ynfan4 SHE SPILLED Y/E IS SO DONE
yourbff i love you so much!!!
yourusername love you!!
user3 these songs are really good ... sorry for hating before
user1 some of y'all switching up in the comments, she could be lying!!
ynfan5 perhaps i misinterpreted the lyrics, but did y/e CHEAT ON HER???
ynfan3 pretty sure 👀
yourusername
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liked by yourbff, landonorris, and 1,391,283 others
yourusername it doesn't get, doesn't get better than this 🧡
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yourbff LOVE Y'ALL SO MUCH
ynfan4 THESE HAVE TO BE LYRICS
ynfan3 more lover girl music coming soon LET'S GOOOOOOO
ynfan2 y/n writing her two shady songs about y/e then going back to writing cheesy love songs for lando we love to see it
landonorris how i obsessively adore you 🤍
ynfan2 y'all they're quoting future lyrics right in front of our faces i just know it
user3 it's not looking like a break up any time soon
oscarpiastri answer my texts
yourusername sorry been busy 🤭
oscarpiastri disgusting
yourusername NOT LIKE THAT.
ynfan5 Y/NLANDO WILL ALWAYS PROSPER
landonorris
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liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 1,028,832 others
landonorris we are never breaking up btw
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ynfan2 LMAOOOOOO
yourbff i'll have to break all of your bones if you ever hurt her
landonorris the scary thing is that i actually believe that you would
oscarpiastri hurt her and your life is over
landonorris DAMN DID Y'ALL READ THE CAPTION OR NO
user3 they're kinda growing on me y'all ...
ynfan4 everyone say we love you mom and dad
user4 worst news of my life
user2 i'm gonna be forced to like her this is terrible
yourusername thank god
landonorris if you leave me i think that i just might lose it completely
yourusername don't ever quote my songs at me again
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mv1simp · 2 months ago
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Slow Down♥️
Max Verstappen x Driver!Reader (SocialMedia!AU)
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I’m so down if you’re ready, I’ll show you if you let me, girl (she said fuck me like I’m famous, I said okay)
You and Max Verstappen are very well known in the media, for having one of the most volatile rivalries in the sporting world. But Ferrari’s Princess and Redbull’s Mad Max send shockwaves through the paddock when your PR teams confirm you’re officially dating. The public have a hard time believing it…until your sex tape gets leaked on Twitter a month later. Social Media!AU
Content includes: 18+ MDNI, smut, trying my hand at a SM! AU for the first time!!, dom! Max and switch! Reader, size kink, sexism, max being a feminist king
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Everyone always said there was a thin line between love and hate. Frankly, you find it to be sexist bullshit, rolling your eyes everytime some interviewer or your friends or trainer would make some sly comment about so what’s going on between you and Max, with a suggestive wiggle of their eyebrows. Nothing, just him trying to run me off the track repeatedly and giving me 4 bruised ribs in Singapore when he clipped me illegally, you say with an annoyed tone. You know that if you were a man, and not the first female driver in decades in F1, you wouldn’t be getting randomly shippedwith all the drivers. And for gods sake, Verstappen off all people was the most laughable idea. The man was either being a violent menace on the track or an immature twelve year old off it, you think vehemently. You two had stayed well out of each others way in your Haas seat last year, with you leading the mid pack in the suboptimal car but Max remaining well out of reach at the front of the pack. But this year, you’d earned yourself a Ferrari seat and were ecstatic to finally be able to compete for a WDC.
That was, until you and Max Verstappen suddenly started to keep getting caught in each others crosshairs. What started as polite indifference between two coworkers blew up into a PR frenzy, with you and Max completing for the top step in the podium every race weekend. He thought you a reckless driver, getting lucky in a rocket ship this year and trying to sink her claws into something she can’t handle. You thought him over arrogant, a man who couldn’t handle losing to a girl, his fragile ego unable to handle losing a 4th WDC to a Ferrari driver who was only in her second F1 season.
And then, two months out from the end of the season, everything changed between you and Max. On a night out in Monaco with your friends, celebrating being home from triple headers, you’d had the unfortunate experience of being cornered by some drunk, sexist creep who thought he was entitled to touch you. He’d been stronger than you expected, pinning you in a dark alleyway and you just when you starting to freak out, Max of all people practically threw the guy off you. He’d angrily spat at the drunk to pick on someone his own size or he’d break his jaw next time, before leading you to his car with a gentle hand. Normally, you found Max’s far larger frame to be annoying, another way for him to intimidate you when he glared downwards. But that night you couldn’t help but be grateful for the muscular, tall man and his attentive blue eyes as you willingly follow him with wide, doe eyes.
The ride home had been silent, you nervously clutching the large sleeves of the hoodie Max had given you from his backseat. And when you’d thanked him for his help, saying you appreciate him looking out for you even though he hated you, he looked at you with genuine surprise. I don’t hate you, he’d said. Well, I suppose we have had our differences on the track. You snickered at this, muttering that’s one way of putting it. Max chuckled, making you peer at him curiously as you’d never heard him do that in your presence. He was actually very handsome, you noted, without an angry scowl on his face or that Redbull helmet covering him. Then you tell your tipsy brain to shut up because where the hell had that thought suddenly come from?!
But really, I think you’re a pretty amazing girl off the track, Max continued. It must be hard being the only female driver, but you always have something good to say to the dumb interview questions you get. And I’m not going to stand by and let any woman be felt up by some creep. Even if it’s the Princess of Ferrari, he adds with a smirk. You rolled your eyes at this, stepping out of his car as you reach your apartment. And when you offer him his hoodie back, he tells you to keep it. You can use it to stay warm at the next race - it’s Brazil, very rainy. Did I mention I’m called the rainmaster, incidentally? You burst out laughing at his lack of subtlety, and he smiles at having distracted you, making the scared look in your pretty doe eyes from earlier disappear. Fuck off, Verstappen, you giggle, and for once your words have no real bite.
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By the time your second F1 season is over, and you’re receiving your trophy for the world championship at the Prizegiving Gala, the first female to do so, you and Max Verstappen have became good friends. Maybe something more, from all the time you’ve started spending together off the track gaming, playing padel, and going out drinking. You were far too afraid to ever say something to him, knowing the media response to the first female driver dating a fellow driver would be absolutely brutal. Besides, you had no idea if Max remotely felt the same way about you - his type seemed to be pretty models, not aggressive drivers who spent half her time plotting his downfall.
You’re surprised when he finds you at the after party, late into the night, where everyone is too plastered to note that the fallen Redbull champion is taking the winning Ferrari Princess to a private level on the yacht. If you think I’m going to apologise for breaking your winning streak, you can try again, you announce dramatically as you grin at him, 5 drinks in and pink lips loosened, letting him know you were jesting. Wouldn’t have it any other way, Princess, Max hums, coming to stand so close to you that your heart rate quickens when you feel warmth radiating from the taller, muscular driver. Besides, I’ll be taking the cup next year, anyways. Enjoy the high while you can, he says in his Dutch accent, all cocky.
You let out an outraged gasp at this, forgetting how close you two already are as you step towards him, accusing hand pressed against his firm chest. But before you can say anything, Max’s gorgeous blue eyes drop down to where your manicured nails are touching his pecs. And then he looks down further, to where your plush tits have pressed up against his abs, your cute red corset minidress pushing your cleavage up temptingly. There’s no mistaking the dark desire that swirls in his intense gaze as he looks back into your wide doe eyes. And then he’s leaning in, finally, you think, and then your brain wakes up and you remember who’s in front of you. We can’t, Max, you say breathlessly, dazed by how attractive he looks when turned on. Why not, the Dutchman demands, cocky as usual. You don’t want this, Princess? His large hand brushed your jaw, tilting your face upwards when you try to look away. Your breath hitched from the contact, and you’re sure he can feel how fast your carotid pulse is beating. It’s-it’s not that I don’t want to, you say with a blush, making a pleased smirk appear on Max’s lips. But I’m the only female driver on the grid, the public would tear me apart if they found out I hooked up with another driver on the grid-
Fuck what anyone else thinks, Max says passionately, the familiar spark of defiance in his eyes. I know the fallout from something like this would be much harder for you as a woman than me, and I waited till after the championship fight finished. No one can contest you didn’t win the cup with your own sheer skill. But now that it’s finished, I can’t hold back anymore. Your jaw drops from Max’s heated confession, never having guessed the handsome blonde would reciprocate your buried romantic feelings. And I don’t mean some one night stand or summer fling, he continued boldly. I want to be your boyfriend, I want you all to myself properly.
You must have had too many G&Ts, you hear yourself say distantly, cause you’re not even a little bit cute and shy like you normally are off the track, Verstappen. He smiles gently, knowing you were using humour to deflect from the swirling emotions within you. Maybe, he murmurs, bending down to rest his forehead against yours. Or maybe you look so fucking gorgeous in this red dress I knew I couldn’t hide how I feel anymore. When he feels your hand graze his chest, pulling him just a bit closer, he knows what you want. Pressing the gentlest of kisses to your glossed lips, he pulls back to make sure you still wanted more.
But he didn’t need to have any doubts, because you’re staring up at him sultrily, desire having darkened your own wide, doe eyes. This time you’re pulling him back onto your lips, your arms wrapping around his broad shoulders so that there’s not even a millimetre of space between you too. He groans against you as the months of tension come to a head, the two of you languidly exploring each others’ mouths with your tongues.
Even if you’d woken up the next morning regretting your decision, there was no way you could turn down Max’s offer of a relationship. Because even if you had still hated him, the sex that night on the yacht has been so incredibly mind blowing, by far the best orgasm you had ever experienced, that you knew you’d never meet anyone who could fuck you so perfectly again. So you hesitantly said yes, let’s try this for real, Max over a late hungover brunch the next morning. The rest had been history - the two of you had spent the last 7 months in a secret relationship, not wanting the chaos of the media to ruin your relationship before it could even start properly. Max has proven time and time again you’d made the right decision saying yes, being the perfect boyfriend, dedicated to all your needs and wants, spoiling you endlessly and making you laugh whenever you had a bad day.
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Sometimes things were hard, of course. Like when you two had tensions during a race, your private relationship doing nothing to dampen the competitive spirit you both shared. But you’d both make up after, whether it be with a long debrief and strategy talk on how to avoid an incident next time - or your personal favourite, some angry make up sex. Like you’d suspected, Max was an absolute sex god and you two enjoyed a very healthy sex life, exploring each others kinky preferences. So when you’d have to be away from each other for long periods, busy with planning and meetings at your separate team bases, your boyfriend came up with a solution once the nudes and phone sex didn’t quite hit the same.
Filming yourselves during sex seemed like a certain recipe for disaster, given how famous the two of you are and the consequences of anything got leaked. But the temptation was too great as weeks drag on without the touch of your boyfriend - so you agreed, just this once, to try it out.
Well, that had certainly been the plan. But the video had been so so nice to watch again and again anytime your pussy ached for Max that you can’t resist making more. And then last month when your teams had finally given the okay for an official announcement on your relationship, and the media response had overall been surprisingly positive, you two get too comfortable and Max accidentally sent the video over DM to you, instead of the encrypted chat you normally use.
And that was when shit hit the fan.
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No, Max, go away, I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to see anyone ever again! The blonde Dutchman sighs he leans his head against the closed bathroom door with a worried expression on his face. You’ve locked yourself in his Monaco penthouse’s bathroom for the past 4 hours, not coming out despite how much he’s pleaded. Please, schatje, he tries again. I know it’s bad, but we’ll get through it together. Twitter had already banned any links of the video and both your PR teams are doing damage control and so many of the grid drivers and journalists were calling out the website that had leaked the tape. Please, I just want to see you, you can’t be locked in there forever and reading all the stuff online alone.
When you don’t reply, only sniffling through the door, he sighs again and slides down the door, making himself comfortable. A few minutes later he hears the door unlock and your red, crying face peeking through. Oh, schatje, he croons soothingly as you drop down into his arms and bury your face in his thick neck. He rubs soothing circles along your back as you sniffle that Everyone’s saying such horrible things, Maxie. How am I going to face going on the paddock ever again?
He reassures you firmly that you two would go hand in hand, united on the paddock with your heads held high, because you’ve done nothing wrong. He’d been doing the media game a lot longer than you and knew this scandal, like everything else, would get blown over with time. After your quiet sobs settle with his comforting words and tight hug, you pull back to look at him and apologise for shutting yourself away and not checking in on him. It’s your leaked tape too, you say anxiously. How are you feeling about it, baby?
He eases your concern again, telling you honestly that in the grand scheme of things, although it was a little mortifying he’s had worse in the media. Besides, it’s gonna be satisfying to crush whichever little fucker leaked the vid, he says vehemently. Any anyone who’s saying any bullshit sexist comments about you sleeping your way into F1 or anything is getting hit with a defamation lawsuit from legal, he declares, making your heart swell from his protectiveness. You still aren’t convinced, though. Are you sure, Max? I remember in that particular video, you can’t see much of my body but there’s definitely a lot of shots of your…
Dick? Your boyfriend finishes with a deadpan expression, That’s fine. Besides, I’ve nothing to be embarrassed about. You know the hashtag Verstappen’s third leg is trending on Twitter now? You giggle at his nonchalance, making Max smile at seeing you cheered up. You’ve finally having processed what happened enough to maybe see a bit of humour in it. True, I suppose it could have been worse, you muse. The Las Vegas video could have been the leaked one. Imagine how batshit the fans would have gotten if they saw the handcuffs were for you, not me. Max laughs genuinely, blue eyes looking fondly at your mischievous expression. The familiar Ferrari fire he adored was back in your own pretty doe eyes.
Or worse, the Barcelona one, you tease as you lead him to the kitchen to start making dinner. Scrolling through hundreds of posts and spiralling was calorie consuming work. I think Twitter would have shut down if they found out Max Verstappen likes being called daddy in the bedroom.
Your boyfriend’s face goes adorably pink as he stammers at your unexpected roast. Hey-hey now, schat, that was just one time okay? You’d just accidentally said it and it caught me off guard-
You grin playfully, giving him a kiss on the cheek because he looked too cute to resist. Sure, baby, so off guard you lasted 5 seconds after that. His face goes even pinker, reaching the tips of his ears now as he shyly looks away. For all his fierceness on the track, you loved how sweet the Dutch Lion was off it. Giggling, you put him out of his misery by handing him a knife and tell him to get to work chopping the tomatoes. You knew no matter what came your way, you would be fine with Max by your side.
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A/N: okkk so what did u guys think at my first attempt at a social media AU ahaha. You know I love to yap I fear I included too many Twitter screenshots, I ALWAYS GET CARRIED AWAY. Anyway this was super fun pulled me right out of my writers block!!! Hope u enjoy xx
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