#(but everything always has a happy end because I cannot write anything else. Literally. My mental health isnt able to) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

betweenthings2 · 3 months ago

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OK HI im sorry for taking years to send this but i lovelovelove the new chapter!!! (and apologies in advance for how Terrible and long this ask is going to be LMFAO)

Matty's not sure how much trying count in the grand scheme of things. Every time he sits down to write, every time he looks at the new headlines for the day, it seems like it gets worse. Someone else died. There's another war going on somewhere. Another group of people are starving. There was another horrific attack somewhere. Someone hates someone for something they can't change. It takes Matty all of about ten minutes to wind up horribly depressed and thirty to give up. When he gives up, he winds up thinking about everything and then he ends up spiraling further.

the way u wrote this is so !!! obsessed. i really like "Someone else died. There's another war going on somewhere. Another group of people are starving. There was another horrific attack somewhere. Someone hates someone for something they can't change." that part! the way u expressed the like. repetitivity? and how everything just SUCKS and somehow it keeps getting worse like omg no i just love how u wrote it!!

Everything ends up being George, really. There's George when they met, George when they started the band, George when he broke his shoulder. There's George deciding not to fill the prescription for painkillers and Matty deciding to go fill the prescription himself, adding what should have been George's prescription to his stash. There's George yelling at him backstage at Latitude. There's George at Matty's bedside after he overdosed, apologizing.

omg the switch in this like. george going from angry to apologising so quickly like neither of them expected it i LOVE omg omg omg. but "Everything ends up being George" is real. same

exasperated and fond.

i have NEVER been able to word that emotion or look or whatever it is and u have just ?!??!?!?! done it in three words ?!??!?!?!??!? this is what i mean when i say ur a god

"I know," George murmurs. "And I'm proud of you."

"Why?"

I LOVE THIS ☹️ george immediately telling him hes proud and his first thought isnt like. thank you. its just "why???????" because he literally cannot see anything positively OH i need this tattooed

That wasn't even a year ago. In hindsight, it's a good thing they didn’t adopt the cat. He'd have just failed the cat, too.

puffball mentioned i hear about it and i awaken like a sleeper agent. anyway. i, again, love love love how u worded this! the snappy sentences with mattys hopelessness it just omg it works SO well, i love !!!!! the fear of failing everybody is making my heart ACHE oh lord i love him

"I don't. I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve you."

im for real gonna burst into tears and die im so. so. SO. obsessed with this. matty no pls u deserve him u deserve love and joy and happiness and a life of no pain PLS ☹️

"You deserve good, Matthew. You deserve someone who adores you and wants you to be happy."

oh the use of his full name he is Extra Truthful. this is a long way of george saying U DESERVE GEORGE BEDFORD DANIEL!!!!! but aaaahh no he's so :((( the way he just knows what to say and mattys still completely lost ooohhhh:((((( love love love

"Who am I when I get home?" Maybe they should have gotten the cat. He could come home to the cat. He could have been a person who has a cat.

im gonna vomit my guts up in some. hellish sadness. willingly. i LOVE this. the way hes gripping at the smallest things like literally just having a cat to let himself know he could be somebody and not just. empty. im actually genuinely obsessed i need this in all the textbooks

"You're Matty. You're always Matty. You're my Matty."

YOURE MY MATTY ☹️☹️☹️ miss betweenthings2 i am politely asking u to stop this madness u are going to kill me (do not stop). hes so:((( im gonna cry i love this i need to be able to give more than one kudos

"I don't know who that is," Matty insists. "I don't know where he belongs."

I DONT KNOW WHERE HE BELONGS i need you to write a book so i can buy at least seven copies of it OH this is so. aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh:(((((( i just love how u manage to convey that . almost manic hopelessness? hes so desperate to be someTHING that hes just got no idea of Anything At All im going to DIE

"She did. She got adopted by a family with two little kids who probably adore her and she's probably happy."

this is going to make me Scream And Cry. 1 puffball lore and 2 AABNDNDNDN ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ i genuinely am so so so so so obsessed with this u dont get it

The shadows on the wall still take a cat-like shape and Matty can't help but still wish they'd gotten a cat.

☹️ CAT ☹️ as much as i love cats, he is. maybe not the best person to have one. actually no yes he is he can do anything hes like barbie its fine. anyway. i love this so much i CANNOT put it into words like every word on that chapter (and everything else uve posted) id GODSENT its like. beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!! okay enjoy ur day and i hope law school is fun 🧘‍♀️

(also while im here i was 🕸 anon and ive realised i Cannot keep up with being an anon . so apologies for that. ANYWAY okay bye bye for real now !! enjoy life !!!!!!)

Hello!! First of all, never feel like you have to apologize for long asks! I love asks so much and I love know what people think about about what I write!! 💚💚 Also, you're spiderweb anon?!?! Welcome Back! =)

Thank you so much for the compliments!! This first paragraph about the news is simply me projecting onto fictional!Matty, to be entirely honest. I have a love/hate relationship with the news--I like to be informed and know what's going on, but it's all so awful all the time. I also really love repetition as a tool for creating that kind of misery and hopelessness you point out. I'm working on the next chapter and I've been using the exact same pattern.

Fictional!M+G are going to sort things out, but they're not quite there yet. Poor, sad fictional!Matty loves fictional!George so much, but he's also so miserable and he keeps watching the news, which absolutely does not help. Everything comes back to fictional!George for fictional!Matty right now, but he's also so miserable and completely believes that he really doesn't deserve anything good.

Exasperated and fond!! They adore each other, but fictional!Matty is kind of an idiot sometimes. And I appreciate your compliments so much, thank you so much!! You're going to give me a big ego at this rate.

Fictional!Matty is so sure that he's the worst person person ever and sooner or later, fictional!George will realize it and leave. If fictional!Matty can make him leave first, he'll at least be prepared for it. Fictional!George just wants him to be ok.

Puff Ball is back!! Sort of. Puff Ball is back in this chapter because I was l trying to link chapters and create a cohesive, if non-linear, narrative and create emotion. I kept rereading this chapter and thinking it needed something, so fictional!Matty got to be angsty about a cat he doesn't have.

He's so sure he's The Failure of all time. He thinks he's failed fictional!George and his friends and anyone who's ever relied on him or cared about him in anyway, so of course he doesn't deserve anything, let alone someone as wonderful as fictional!George.

Fictional!George is trying so hard. He's angsty and upset when they get off the phone.

This bit about fictional!Matty not knowing who he'll be when he gets home is also me trying to create continuity. The summary on Ao3 is about place, so everything else has to be about place and belonging, so fictional!Matty got to have an identity crisis. He could be a person that has a cat. He's not so sure he should have anything that relies on him, but he could be A Person Who Has A Cat. I'm very touched that you think my work is something to be learned from, but I have to say that I hope I don't see my own work in my textbooks. That would be concerning for me.

He's George's Matty!! It's not getting happier yet. Chapter Four is going to be sad. Chapter Five will be a little bit happier, but Chapter Four will be sad. I'm only a little bit sorry.

Poor fictional!Matty is a little bit suicidal here in a reckless kind of way, the way someone who thinks that have nothing left to lose is. He thinks he has nothing. He doesn't know who he is and he's stuck and so, so desperate to be something and someone and have something, but it all seems so hopeless. (If I ever write a book, I won't shut up about it ever. You can all know my real name and I'll still hope that I don't know any of you in real life.)

Puff Ball!! Fictional!Matty feels very soft and emotional about her and he's not really sure why. He's not really a cat guy but he accidentally let himself get attached.

He just wants something that's his and makes himself feel like he has some kind of value. Fictional!George is trying so hard to get him to understand that he's important no matter what, but fictional!Matty is pretty sure he's wrong.

Thank you so, so much for the ask and the wonderful compliments!! I think Chapter Four will be up in the next few days and it will be angsty and a little bit soft. School is going well--I learned today that in legal fields we like the Oxford comma, which is a win for me.

💚💚

#asks #betweenthings talks #loads of crisps

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missusdiary · 4 months ago

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july 19th. 2024

i’ve found myself doing more research into the art of detachment recently.

for a while now i’ve attempted some semblance of detachment by just ignoring the things that happen to me and then try to forget about them. sometimes i would think about how they made me feel, and what i could do to stop feeling that way, but i never actually solved what was ailing me and moved forward from it.

i ended up carrying things with me, despite my wanting to move on because i didn’t actually work through it. thinking about things over and over doesn’t do that, and while it seems simple when i write it out, it’s so hard to tell if i’m convincing myself that i’m getting over something versus actually getting over it.

somewhere along the way -i guess this might stem from trauma- i suppose i stopped analyzing and listening to any emotional turmoil and forced myself to get over it because i wasn’t receiving any support or comfort from it. maybe because when i was younger, and people brushed off my, well, everything..i stopped actually listening to how i felt and just tried to forget about it.

i remember i recognized the pattern around 13 or 14 but could never decide if i wanted to change it or not because at the time it kinda worked for me. i was unhappy and i always felt misunderstood but as long as i knew how i felt, it didn’t really matter.

thus, i’ve grown into an adult who holds grudges for years and years instead of speaking up about things when they happen. things i will never confront anyone about because i’m a coward.

so, in comes the art of detaching properly!

i’ve wanted to work on this because of the problems listed above as well as just not feeling like shit and overanalyzing things i cannot control. it’s exhausting and i’m so sick of it. i want to learn how to not think about things or take things personally and all that.

for a while i thought i was doing pretty well and i was pretty chill but i’m all fucked up and i want to be better.

this next part is kinda the catalyst to all this.

i am surrounded by couples, have been for years now, and the one i’m closest to are open. one has a crush on their friend whom they introduced to their partner, and now both of them are crushing. they don’t know this person’s exact orientation or type.

my closer friend was kinda joking but also serious saying “oh y’all cant meet” because what if the person likes me?

my closer friend of the couple claims they have romantic ish feelings for me and we’ve entertained the thought of being together casually for a couple years now, and have kissed a couple of times. they’ve expressed that they want me, but i think the problem is that i do not want them. not because they’re unattractive but, because i want someone to myself.

i’ve been single forever. literally. every little fling or situation-ship i’ve had has crashed and burned and i keep hearing that certain things are better when you have someone you care about to do them with.

okay, cool. i don’t get out much, so i doubt i’m finding them anytime soon. whatever, i need to work on myself anyways.

however, it’s lonely as fuck not being someone else’s first priority. not having someone just for me, not being able to share things only with one another. my own person who actually likes me.

pair that with literally everyone else having some kind of personal support system to themselves and boundaries between us, while also being their emotional support?

bruh.

so when they were like “what if they like you?” i was like

“idk, what if?” i’ve never met this person, idk anything about them, so i’m not really really thinking about it.

in passing, before this conversation -because i’m a lonely bitch- i thought “omg what if they’re my soulmate?” and then i was like “if it happens it happens” and of course i’ve got a bit of hope in my soul because i’ve waited long enough have i not? don’t i deserve to be happy as well?

but i wasn’t planning anything. i really just brushed it off. then we had the conversation and i was like, well if someone else thinks there’s a chance it could happen, mayhaps? but the thing that bothered me was, while i know they have their crushes, i do not know this person. this person is not a thing to put dibs on or internalize plans to woo them.

i just felt kinda weird about the whole thing, because what if? and my question wasn’t really answered.

i felt like, because of my friend’s romantic feelings for both of us, they were kinda trying to fit me in a place where they could have me and have the other person as well. it was just such a weird conversation and i’ve been thinking about all that’s been implied from it.

for now i’m just gonna say i’m reading too much into things, and keep with my “whatever happens, happens.” mindset because that’s all i can really do regarding this.

there are more pressing things to attend to.

#thoughts #digital diary #diary entry #rant post #detachment #deep thoughts

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ciaossu-imagines · 6 months ago

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For the sleepover

Ronin Warrirors

Character Talk, or really anything. Admin choice. Big into the fandom and love to see thoughts, character talk, ship ideas, anything and everything.

Oh my gosh! I am almost screaming on the other side of this screen because you don’t even know how happy this ask makes me! Nobody else I know has ever watched the show or is interested in checking it out, where it’s so old. I love it dearly though, but have never really met too many other fans or been able to find people in the small fandom it has who are interested in talking to me. So this is just very exciting for me! Do you have any favourite characters? Moments? Thoughts on the characters? While I don’t really ship, do you? Do you have OC’s for the fandom or are you canon only? I’m so interested. I’ll do the character talk meme, at least some of them, because you mentioned it, but always up for any talk!

Why do you like or dislike this character?

So, I will say there’s really no characters that I actively dislike fully from this fandom. Even Talpa has his charms and while Yuli can piss me off at times, he’s a literal child and he’s acting like a child would in a scary situation.

I really like Ryo. I think that while he’s stubborn and a little foolish at times, he’s very brave and he does genuinely care about people. He’s got a big heart and I personally have always just gotten the vibe that he’s very simple as a person, not very materialistic or judgmental about others based on class or looks.

Sage is an interesting one because honestly, I remember hating him as a kid when I first watched this. He was easily my least favourite character but he’s grown on me through the years. I think it really was just how stoic he is in comparison to some of the others that threw me off him as a kid but as I’ve aged, I really love how mature he is as a person. Learning the story of how he got his armor also endeared him to me, because that’s just a really cool story.

Cye is adorable. I love how calm and even-tempered and just kind he is, and his affinity to water has always appealed to me. Despite moving around a lot, I’ve been blessed in that a lot of the places I’ve lived have only been, at most, a couple hour’s trip to either large lakes or to the ocean. Currently live close to water – it’s something that relaxes me and that really appeals to me as a person, so he’s always been my second favourite probably because of that.

Kento amused me the most as a kid when I first watched this and there hasn’t been any rewatches where he hasn’t made me laugh at least once or twice. While he can definitely be stupid, you can tell he genuinely cares about people and he comes across as one of those well-intentioned, slightly stupid extrovert himbo friends and as I have the extreme privilege of having a couple of those in my life, cannot say how much that energy can make a life better.

I’ve made no secret of the fact that Rowen was among my first fictional crushes and has been one of my longest fictional others. I love everything about him, plain out, and though I see his flaws, he’s perfect.

Mia got the short end of the stick because of the time Ronin Warriors came out. Honestly, she got a little better writing than a large majority of the female characters at that point because her story wasn’t made a huge romantic thing and she did have some use and was shown to be very intelligent. It’s just that well-rounded, incredibly fleshed out female characters with goals, dreams of their own, and lives outside of the boys of the story weren’t really part of straight shonen in the 90’s. I think she deserved better but I see a lot of positives as she is.

Yuli, as I mentioned, does piss me off at points but at the same time, I do see him as being an interesting character. He had a lot of potential but again – he’s a kid in a very scary situation and honestly, it’s amazing how brave he could be at times.

The Ancient One…always been kind of neutral. Extremely plot important but I really wish we’d learned more about him.

I want White Blaze as a pet.

Talpa had that voice and I loved it.

I remember, again, as a kid, hating Lady Kayura. Kind of felt jealous of this really pretty, super strong, badass girl. I’ve grown to really enjoy her over the years though and I think having a strong female who could fight and had this great storyline was really great for the show, especially as (kind of mentioned) the female representation at the time wasn’t great all around.

Anubis had one of the first ‘villain redemption’ arc that I remember ever seeing and he’s a large part of why I love that trope and those types of story arcs.

Kale is…just kind of there for me. Honestly, he’s cool enough, but he’s not someone I think a lot about.

Sehkmet had one of the coolest character designs of the show. Also love his snarkiness.

Dais had the coolest powers. I remember thinking that, despite being a bad guy, he was one of the coolest characters and honestly, his power set is still really great to me. I found his fighting scenes really enjoyable, probably the most out of all of them.

Favourite canon thing about the character?

I love the fact that Ryo is more of an introvert than you’d expect someone of that character archetype to be. He definitely comes across as the guy who needs his alone time the most and I think he gets that alone time by being in nature.

Sage really has this incredibly rare and wonderful sense of honor and a real strong sense of right and wrong and I wish at times that I was more like him. He’s also not too proud to take the fall for someone else, to save their honor.

Cye had the most gentle heart and he really felt like he was the one who kind of facilitated and helped build the friendships I do see the Ronins having with each other. I feel like he’d be the guy that all the others would share their secrets with.

I adore the fact that Rowen enjoys mystery novels, but that’s coming from someone else who really enjoys that genre and likes imagining recommendations he’d give and talking about our favourite mystery stories together.

Kento seems like someone who really does try to make everyone happy and comfortable. He feels like the guy who would notice someone being left out in group gatherings and who would go out of his way to include them.

Mia really is insanely smart and hard-working and I admire that greatly about her.

Yuli really did want to be helpful and he was always trying his best to be brave.

The Ancient One tried his best.

White Blaze is perfection.

Talpa had a great voice and wonderful hair.

Lady Kayura was the first really bad-ass female character I remember.

Anubis had a great story arc all around. I recommend watching just for that alone.

Kale’s character design was actually pretty cool.

Sehkmet never gave up. He definitely seems like the kind of person who doesn’t let anything keep him down, at least not for long.

Dias would have made a killing as a Vegas magician, just saying. He seems like he’d have the charisma and showmanship to really rock that career too!

Least favourite canon thing about this character?

Ryo had a real issue, at points, with being almost borderline arrogant and stubborn.

Sage was almost too proper and needed better communication at times.

Cye definitely needed better communication skills.

Rowen, for someone really smart, had a real annoying habit of just blurting out super obvious stuff (I like to blame it on some maybe subpar writing at points).

Kento needed to learn to look before he leaped because he pulled some stupid shit that he would have realized wasn’t for the best if he’d thought for just a couple moments.

Mia needed to stop putting herself in danger.

Yuli REALLY needed to stop putting himself in danger.

The Ancient One could have stepped in a lot more than he did (I have always held that he was kind of under-utilized and I would have loved to see him explored more).

White Blaze is perfection, fuck finding a flaw.

Talpa was obviously a crazy megalomaniac, so there’s that.

Lady Kayura…okay, but she’s 12, why did we need a shot of her bare ass.

Anubis obviously had some arrogance issues, however, he was able to work on them so go him!

Kale was too loyal to someone who he had no right to be that loyal to, but I actually love that. It’s just the only flaw I could really find to talk about. I think it makes a lot of sense for his character and for the kind of relationship the Warlords and Talpa had.

Sehkmet felt a little one trick at times in his attacks but that’s okay, he was trying his best.

Dias….needed to be explored in terms of his personality more.

If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Short and sweet, not going to lie, I put every fictional character into a KHR! Crossover-verse at some point. I definitely love thinking about the Ronins and the Warlords as part of Mafia family, with the Warlords in particular being a family of elite assassins who kind of have a rivalry with the Varia. The Ronins are a smaller family being targeted by this group of assassins who turn to the Vongola for help and protection.

What’s something you have in common with this character?

With Ryo, we are similar in that we are more introverted and we both love nature and animals. I don’t have a lot in common with Sage, though I’d like to think I act with honor and have strong morals. I feel I have the most in common with Cye, not just the love of the ocean, but the gentle personality and the slight tendencies to go along with our friends and to keep things calm and peaceful and happy with them. Me and Rowen share a love of science and books. Kento is pretty much my opposite, though I like to think that, though shy, I’m quite friendly and try my best to make others feel happy and at ease. Like Mia, I’m hard-working. Like Yuli, I can sometimes run off at the mouth without thinking about it. Like The Ancient One, I’m not around a lot. Like White Blaze, I’m quite silent. Like Talpa, I stick to my goals even when I suffer set-backs. Like Anubis, I can learn to admit I’m wrong. Like Kale, I have some cool looking scars. Like Sehkmet, my makeup game is strong. Like Dias, I love magic.

What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like & 8. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I honestly have not been able to be in the fandom enough to really see what’s largely done with the characters, so no opinion here!

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

I feel like I could easily be roommates with Cye, Rowen, Ryo, Mia, and maybe Kale. The rest of them maybe not.

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

I feel I’d have the closest friendships with Cye, Rowen, Kento, Ryo, and Mia.

11. Would you date this character?

I would date Cye and Rowen!

12. What’s a headcanon you have for this character?

Ryo takes really fantastic photographs, thanks to living with his father. It’s just that photography never ended up sparking any passion for him but given a good camera, he can take good pictures. It’s only the crappy quality cell phone cameras that he just can’t seem to grab good pictures on.

Sage follows his father into the legal sphere in a way when he grows older, getting into law. He becomes a criminal prosecutor.

Cye knows how to sail, can paddleboard, and has gone white-water rafting.

Rowen has hypoglycemia that gets worse as he ages and in his later years, he has to use a glucometer and properly treat the condition.

Kento really loves pro-wrestling.

Mia honestly has a real guilty pleasure for young adult romances, especially things like Twilight. She was definitely Team Edward.

Yuli makes good grades in his school years and graduates in the top three of his class in high school.

Talpa gets songs stuck in his head super easily and hums when he thinks no one can hear him.

Lady Kayura, at some point, learns to ride a motorcycle. She really loves seeing just how fast she can go on them and has had some close calls, though she has never actually crashed.

Anubis, despite having really long and thick hair, doesn’t really do anything special to take care of it. He’s definitely one of those ‘3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash’ guys and because of that, his hair is really dry and prone to split ends.

Kale, despite how fearsome he looks, has a real soft spot for cute baby animals.

Sehkmet would be a fan of celebrity gossip.

Dias would be a huge Pen & Teller fan.

13. What’s an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

Ryo and Rowen both call more than they text and when they text, it’s very minimal. Ryo sometimes uses the thumbs up and 100 emojis.

Sage never uses emoji’s. He types very properly, with proper capitalization and punctuation.

Cye uses very basic, starter emoji’s, like the smiley faces and hearts that he knows for sure what they mean. Some of the emoji’s people send him he gets really confused by.

Kento uses gifs way more than he uses emoji’s. He’s got anime reaction gifs for everything.

Sehkmet throws together the most random combinations of emojis just to fuck with people, so they’ll try super hard to try to figure out what he means.

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

Ryo dresses really simply, honestly. He’s very much a jeans and t-shirt, maybe a henley long sleeve shirt in the fall, a sweater in the summer. He’s drawn to reds and other vibrant colours. He doesn’t really like socks a lot and wears a lot of sneakers. He’s the type who wears his clothes completely out before he thinks about throwing them out and replacing them.

Sage has a more proper, almost preppy sort of style. He’d be the type to throw a blazer over a t-shirt and some well-fitting jeans, to fancy up an outfit. He wears a lot of natural fabrics too. Polyester and cheap materials don’t appeal to him and he doesn’t really bargain shop. However, like Ryo, he does wear his clothes until they’re in such a bad state that they need to be thrown out, so it’s not like he’s wasteful with the money he spends on clothing.

Cye has a very pastel, beach-casual sort of style. He likes capris, linen, blue hues, and dockers. He prefers pull-over sweaters to hoodies, and has no problem wearing board shorts around town.

Rowen switches his style fairly often, honestly. He can’t settle into one particular style but just kind of buys what he likes, making an eclectic mix of different styles. He’s not really all that great at colour coordination though, so some of his outfits kind of aren’t that great, not going to lie.

Kento’s very relaxed in his style. It’s muscle-tops, t-shirts with the sleeves rolled up with jeans or overalls. He lives in his sneakers, loves crazy socks, and has a couple different baseball caps.

Mia has a sort of preppy style. I honestly feel like she’d wear anything Blair wore on Gossip Girl.

Yuli kind of copies the style of the older boy’s a lot. He goes through phases with all of those styles until he really figures out what he likes and what suits him the best. He’s very experimental with fashion and it takes him a while to figure that out.

Lady Kayura seems like she’d rock leather pants, just saying. I feel she has two moods – goth girl or dainty princess and sometimes she even mixes those two together. It’s really all down to how she feels that day.

Kale seems like he’d kind of dress like a biker. Like, that’s really the vibe I get from him.

15. What’s your favourite ship for this character, 16. What’s your least favourite ship for this character & 17. What’s a ship for this character you don’t hate but it’s not your favourite that you’re fine with?

I honestly don’t really do canon shipping. I admit to having some self-ships in the fandom and I used to have a friend who was into the fandom and whose OC I really shipped with Kento! Honestly, I cannot not ship my friend’s OC’s with their canon characters of choice because I love my friend’s OC’s and seeing what they do with them.

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

I have to say that I really love Cye and Kento’s friendship. I find Ryo and Sage’s friendship interesting, along with Ryo and Rowen’s friendship. I wish we’d seen a lot more of the dynamics between the different warlords as well, because that’s something I’ve always been really interested in and would love to hear people’s opinions on!

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don’t like?

I know a lot of people see Ryo and Mia as a couple but I just never saw it and really don’t feel it, but that’s just me.

21. If you’re a fic writer and have written for this character, what’s your favourite thing to do when you’re writing for this character? What’s something you don’t like?

I really love writing self-inserts for this fandom, though I keep those only for me because I know they won’t interest the other fans. I love doing headcanons for any of the characters, getting the chance to dive into who they are, what they enjoy, all the different parts of their characters. I also love thinking about and writing the platonic little things in between the characters and trying to figure out what relationships they would have between them, both platonically or who wouldn’t get along, who would be kind of frenemies, rivals, etc.

22. If you’re a fic reader, what’s something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don’t like?

Honestly, I love all fics, though I do tend to skip the super shippy ones that focus only on romance, with no other plot points. I will happily take any and all fic recommendations for this fandom, not gonna lie.

#admin chatter #character talk #ronin warriors #ryo sanada #cye mouri #rowen hashiba #sage date #kento rei fuan #kale #dais #sekhmet #lady kayura #mia koji #yuli #anubis #talpa

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jovenshires · 1 year ago

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okay wait less vibes more what i actually think you were looking for below the cut bc i don't think i can read:

spommy: so i... came to this ship as one of my most-brainrotting-ever-of-all-time for a lot of reasons. in part, i'm honestly projecting on both of them DKDMMFMNFKN i relate to both of their personas a lot and a lot of what i write and think about is just. me. but anyway, they've both talked a lot about their insecurities and their flaws and they just so... perfectly match up to me. they just make sense. smth smth ik tommy said spencer is the worst person to date BUT i don't think so at all. spencer is grounded and analytical and tommy is passionate and extroverted and i think they just bring out the best in each other. not to mention their senses of humors are SO aligned. like half the time tommy is the one to laugh at spencer's terrible jokes, and spencer is the one to rise to tommy's bait. like they always meet each other at every level. anyway. lots of thoughts about them.

shaymien: i really think there's something so wonderful about a person who's seen you through everything and loves you anyway. just someone you can come back to for everything, who makes the effort to understand you, who makes the effort to ebb when you flow. like they are just so gentle and kind and soft and. idk. i need me a freak like that you know.

amangela: the bickering old married couple of smosh... for me, they seem so secure about each other you know. like they just know that they work. even when they fight, even when they're at their lowest, they're still so sure that it's them.

courtivia: i.... im emotional even thinking about it. you really get the vibe that everybody judges olivia, you know. she's the weird one; she's a little freak (affectionate); you never know what's going on in her head. and yet courtney will defend her with her dying breath. that's olivia and she loves her thank you very much. it doesn't matter if she understands her! it doesn't matter if olivia is cold or strange or weird or silly! courtney Loves her!

koah: smth smth someone who knows every piece of you and loves every piece of you. honestly i hype up a lot of these other ships but these bitches are soulmates. like i've honestly never seen friends like them. they just click so well and so instantly, and they are not afraid to show how much they love each other. i have never seen them together not talking about the genuine love they feel for one another. it honestly makes me insane.

shackie: every time i've seen them interact has been one of such genuine respect and friendship and i love it so much. like he holds her to such a high regard, and sure, she teases him, but at the end of the day they just boost each other up. that basis of respect is smth i would love to have one day. anyway shackie stans rise up our time is now--

kimney: they're just so!! they make each other so happy. so grounded. they feel like they could be anywhere and still be happy because they're together. like one of them just walks into a room and lights it up for the other person.

jamien: i am not immune to jackie's propaganda! i just think... comfort when i think of them. like if anything bad happens, the other will be there to hold them through it and pick up the pieces. i always think of that one episode of eioyi where jackie had to eat bugs and she wanted to hold damien's hand. a love that comforting. anyway.

choah: there is SOMETHING IN THEM. i cannot explain what it is. it's like they Do Not Want to like each other and YET. they keep falling back in. i know this is literally nothing but vibes i have nothing else to say for it but they are SOOO

arangela: okay follow me here: angea is insane. right. just absolutely batshit. and arasha? is also insane in a different direction. a cool, calm, grounded kind of insane. they are like if college girls were supervillains. does this make sense. no but they spark each other up While cooling each other down. they're fun

ianthony: smth smth you feel like coming home........ i really don't know what to say about them that hasn't already been said but i will say this: anyone who can fall apart that hard and yet still find their way back to each other? that's a special kind of love.

interested to know whats the Specific Vibe you think spommy/shaymien/amangela/other ships you like give off aside from the usual “friends to lovers/same brain” tropes!! i feel like i have descriptive vibes that explain why i like their dynamic

HMMMM okay i know Exactly what you mean. there was a post like this that went around Ages ago (different time, different ships, different fandom really) and i wouldn't know where to find it even if i tried so kudos to them, but this is My Take on the vibes of a few of my faves:

(EDIT: ya know on second read through of your ask im not sure this is what you wanted. i can reblog with full actual thoughts later perhaps)

spommy: late-night dinners, ill-timed laughter, sharing clothes, cupping someone's face, cozy nights in, music in a quiet apartment, being taken care of

shaymien: greasy diner food, high top converse, sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, playing video games until your eyes hurt, bulletin board memories, passed notes, the color green

amangela: rom-coms, scrunchies, neon colors, arguing over nothing (but knowing it's not really an argument), the sound of a party from the next room, laying your head on someone's shoulder and closing your eyes, drinks in dive bars

courtivia: lemonade, pinky promises, red lipstick on your cheek, sunrises, talking on the phone for hours, whispered secrets at a sleepover, long summer days

koah: lingering hugs, shotgunning, love at first sight, car rides to wherever, sitting in the back of a movie theater, sneaking out to see each other, laughter that stems from nothing

shackie: fallen leaves in autumn, reading aloud to each other, slow-dancing in your kitchen, candlelight, quiet teasing to make someone blush, fresh red roses, giving someone your jacket when they look cold

kimney: the smell of cookies in the oven, notes in your lunch, the beach, the color yellow, doing something nice just because, overalls, smiling into a kiss

jamien: love letters, pressed flowers, a hand on your waist, journal entries, petrichor, uncertain confessions, intertwining fingers

choah: knees pressed underneath the table, pop music blasting from the radio, twilight hours, sour candy, itching to touch someone, the hollow of your throat, the smell of bubblegum

arangela: shared smirks, conversations that keep you up, a full moon, takeout food, feeling like fate is guiding you, glitter, dancing under flashing lights

ianthony: sweaters, comfort foods, laying down face-to-face, the feeling of coming home, inside jokes, sunlight filtering through a window, coffee in the morning

#SO sorry anon idk if i can read #ask #asks #anon #anonymous #shipping #spommy #shaymien #amangela #courtivia #koah #shackie #kimney #jamien #choah #arangela #ianthony

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gogolucky13 · 3 years ago

Text

Mean It

Summary: You and Bucky get trapped overnight in the safe house after a mission. Everything should be okay, except he's your ex and thanks to his carelessness, the situation gets a little more complicated.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

Word count: 7,887

Warnings: Smut (sex pollen, slightly dub-con only due to the circumstances but both parties are consenting, fingering, vaginal penetration). Swearing. Angst with a happy ending. (18+ only please).

A/N: This is my submission for @saiyanprincessswanie 2.5k follower challenge. I chose the trope sex pollen. Congratulations, Missy!! You deserve all the love and all the followers. You are truly such an amazing person. Anyways, hope you enjoy this! It was my first time writing sex pollen so hopefully it isn’t awful 😅 Happy reading! 💜💜

A blur of white crystalline flecks swirls against the dark backdrop of nightfall, a taunting dance as you watch through a small window of the safe house. Staring dumbly, you helplessly watch as thick layers of snow blankets over the wooded area. On any other given night you’d find the scene beautiful, mesmerizing even, but not tonight, because this is not how things were supposed to go.

The mission was supposed to take a few hours. A simple in and out plan; get the intel and anything else seemingly worth of value, engage only if needed, and get home. Getting stuck overnight at the safe house was not part of the plan, but it seemed Mother Nature had other ideas when she decided to conjure up the biggest snow storm Eastern Europe has seen in years.

“Fuck me,” you grumble with a sigh, hands perched on your hips.

“As you wish,” a voice from behind replies in a teasing tone.

The comment elicits another sigh, a deeper one this time, full of frustration at the situation and annoyance for who you’re stuck with. Turning on the ball of your foot, you shoot daggers at your partner before rolling your eyes.

Bucky laughs at your exasperation, and it only spurs his teasing on more.

“Could be worse,” he muses, kneeling down in front of the old fireplace. He quickly gets to work on placing a few logs in the center, dousing them with lighter fluid and igniting a match. The room is instantly bathed in a warm, yellow glow.

“No,” you remark sternly, “It cannot be worse. This is my literal nightmare.” Each word is punctuated with the rough shrill of velcro coming undone as you walk away from the window. The sound slices through the air, along with the clicks of buckles before you remove your tactile vest completely and toss it harshly onto the worn couch in the middle of the room. “And to top it all off, tonight is date night.”

“Oh, date night?” Bucky asks in a mocking tone, complete with a faux puppy-dog pout.

Your leather gloves are ripped off your hands and slammed onto a small table by the couch, evidence of your dwindling patience. “Shut up.”

“What?” He chuckles, clearly enjoying the irritation emanating from you. “I just don’t understand what you see in the guy.” He casually walks over to the wooden dining table that sits off to the side.

Another ice cold stare, irritation hardening your jaw and the corners of your eyes. “Enough.”

This time, Bucky rolls his eyes and mumbles something under his breath you don’t quite catch. He turns around to begin sorting through the documents the two of you recovered from the Hydra base.

Gently chewing on the inside of your cheek, you take a moment to watch him and wonder how the two of you ended up here—and you don’t mean snowed in and trapped in a safe house for the night.

The bitter wall of resentment that’s been built up between you over time has left you emotionally drained and, if you’re being honest, deeply hurt. It wasn’t always this way, though. At one time, Bucky was your sole source of all things love and happiness, but he’s always known exactly what buttons to push.

Being partners stuck in a safe house is one thing. Being exes and stuck in a safe house is a whole different ballpark.

You now wish you would’ve agreed with Steve’s initial hesitancies to send you and Bucky on this mission alone, despite your reassurance you’ve both managed to maintain a professional relationship. Which is true.

Flashbacks to the earlier mission attest to that—your seamless fighting styles and communication haven’t been affected by the fallout of your relationship. Each mission is completed smoothly and efficiently with as little damage taken as possible. If only the two of you managed to figure out how to make it work outside the field, too.

“Hey,” Bucky’s voice brings you back to the present, “are you gonna help me with this? I”m not doing all this paperwork by myself.”

“Yes, I’m gonna help,” you grumble, marching over to him and snatching the paper he holds. “I want this done before we leave so we don’t have to worry about it when we get back.” You plop down into a chair, pulling out a Stark tablet from one of the black duffle bags, and begin the tedious task of documenting the details of the mission.

“And why is that?” Bucky questions nonchalantly, taking the seat across from you. “So you can go see what’s-his-face the second we get back?” He leans back in the chair, interlacing his fingers and placing his hands behind his head.

“You know his name,” you reply flatly, not even bothering to spare him a glance.

“Oh, right, Todd.”

“Tom.”

“Whatever.”

Finally, you look up to him from the tablet you hold. “What is your problem with him?” You ask, frustration lacing around the syllables, but there’s a hint of genuine curiosity hidden between the words.

“No problem,” Bucky replies smoothly with a shoulder shrug. “I just don’t think he’s good enough for you.” He holds your stare, daring you to look away as he speaks with conviction.

There’s a slight quirk to your brow, a sardonic laugh falling from your lips at his words. “What? And you were?”

Bucky’s hands fall to his lap, a tight clench growing in his jaw as he sighs deeply through his nose. He holds your gaze for a moment longer, serious and slightly sad, before he drops it to the table and responds, “Let’s just finish this.”

An hour or so passes, and you’re only halfway through the post-mission reports. You’ve silently cursed Steve for sending you on this mission only once or twice, but you’ve lost count of the times you’ve cursed SHIELD and their repetitive documentation. Bucky, in his typical fashion, has been minimal help with the true detailing of the mission happenings; usually only offering elaborate recalls of his super human abilities.

“You did not take down five Hydra agents with one bullet,” you comment evenly, continuing to type and ignoring his false recounts.

“Sure I did,” he responds. He sits back in the small wooden chair, propping his feet on the table as he tosses a small vial in his hands. “You were looking the other way.”

You suppress an eye roll, placing the tablet onto the table. “Stop fucking around before you break something,” you snap, fed up with his uselessness.

“Will you relax,” he replies calmly. “I’m not going to—“ but the rest of that sentence gets stuck in the back of his throat as he overshoots a toss and misses the glass cylinder.

It all happens in an instant—the vial catches on the tips of Bucky’s fingers, both jumping to your feet, yelling to not let it break. But as the vial crashes to the floor, the red liquid inside spilling onto the aged wooden floorboards, it feels like time slows to a complete standstill.

Silence settles over the cabin then. The faint crackling of the fire is the only noise as you and Bucky stare in shock at the small pool of scarlet. Waiting for something, anything to happen, but nothing comes.

“What the fuck, Bucky?!” You cry, the sound of your voice slicing through the thickened air. “What is wrong with you?!”

“It was an accident!”

“I told you to stop and look what happens! Why don’t you ever listen to me?!”

“Will you just re—“

“Don’t,” you retort, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “Do not tell me to relax. We have no clue what was in that vial and now it’s all over the floor, and probably seeping into the air as we speak.” A gasp falls from your lips, slipping through a shaky hand that covers them, as panic begins to settle in. “Fuck, Bucky, we don’t know what was in there! What if it kills us?!” Your eyes grow wide, tears brimming at your lower lash line.

He sighs heavily. “Sweetheart, please take a deep breath. We’re not going to die.”

Any other time the pet name would’ve had you stopping, tossing a snide, and probably hurtful, remark at him to not call you that—that he can’t call you that anymore. But in this moment, it falls on deaf ears, and you unknowingly ignore the squeeze in your chest his terms of endearment always elicit.

“You don’t know that!” You feel a tear slip down your cheek and you step away from Bucky and the stain, beginning to pace in front of the fireplace. “Fuck, this is so bad.”

“Everything is going to be okay,” Bucky begins, reaching for his coat and sliding his arms into the sleeves. “I’m gonna go get the hazmat kit from the Quinjet, and I’ll clean it up.”

Worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, you look to him and nod.

“I’ll be right back.”

You watch as he slips out the front door, a gust of icy wind sweeping through the small living room. Instinctively, you wrap your arms around yourself in an effort to warm yourself and calm your nerves.

Bucky returns not even five minutes later with a hard, black case. In an attempt to save yourself from any of the harmful effects of the liquid, you remain on the other side of the room, and allow Bucky to clean up his literal mess. He removes his coat and places a mask over his face before slipping on a pair of rubber gloves. From inside the case, he pulls out a few microfiber towels and spray bottles. With your thumbnail lodged between your teeth, you anxiously watch him work in silence.

“Okay,” Bucky sighs, dropping the last towel inside a black bag. “It’s all cleaned up.” He gives the floor one last spray before taking the trash bag to the front door and tossing it outside. Then, he turns to you. Concern colors his features, crinkling his brow and softening the corners of his eyes. “Are you okay?”

Still in a slight state of shock, you can only nod, eyes wide in worry.

“Do you feel okay?” He presses, slowly walking towards you.

You quietly nod again.

When he gets about a foot away, he places two large hands—one warm, one cool—on your upper arms. A gentle squeeze from both to ensure you’re still with him, his eyes searching yours. “Y/n,” he tries, “tell me you’re alright.”

Blinking several times, you can feel traces of rogue tears trailing down the skin of your cheeks, but then you’re nodding your head and taking a deep breath. “I’m…I’m okay.”

His hands don’t move, and you would never admit it, but his touch has always been a source of comfort for you. Even now, when you no longer can seek him out for it. With one final squeeze to your arms, Bucky drops his hands to his side and he lets out a breath.

“Maybe we should call it a night.”

Bucky turns to walk back over to the table to begin collecting the files and tablet, sliding them into a bag. A weight still sits on your shoulders, your feet like lead, holding you in place by the fire. It heats your legs; the warmth seeping through the fabric of your tact pants, and it would be unbearable, except, you’re more concerned with the heat spreading from within.

“Y/n,” Bucky softly calls out to you, “bed?”

“Ye—yeah,” voice sticking, you clear your throat and try again, “Yeah, bed.” Without giving Bucky another glance, you sweep a shoulder against him. When you reach the door to one of the bedrooms, it shuts with a definitive slam.

On the other side, you stand with your back against the wooden slab, chest heaving as you try to ignore the obscure feeling that something is off. Instead, you kick off your boots and crawl into the bed. Normally, you would’ve whined and complained about the hard mattress and scratchy sheets, but your mind is miles away from this small cabin. It isn’t until you hear the distant sound of the other bedroom door closing that you attempt to get some sleep.

__________________________________________

It’s hot. So unbearably hot.

Your shirt and tact pants were discarded hours ago, leaving you only in your underwear and tank top; the blankets kicked off soon after. Even with the single window open in the middle of a snow storm, your body is still on fire. Sweat soaked through the thin sheets, dampening the fabric an uncomfortable amount. And as you continue to toss and turn, limbs thrashing from discomfort, you realize the sheets aren’t the only thing that’s damp.

You tried to ignore it. Tried to forget and tell yourself that’s not what this is. But as the minutes ticked by and your body grew hotter and hotter, the aching between your thighs screamed at you that this is definitely what you so desperately wished it wasn’t.

A fucking sex tonic.

Of course the one vial Bucky had to fuck around with consisted of a serum designed to make its recipients sexually aroused beyond reason; a feral experience until the ache is satiated.

You almost had enough sense to chastise yourself for not recognizing it sooner. The serum was only a myth until Steve and Nat found remnants of it on a mission a few months ago. Bruce was able to run some tests on it, and the findings even made the Hulk squirm.

But your mind is clouded with unquenched desire, the ache between your legs radiating into your lower abdomen now. A throbbing cramp has you curling over into the fetal position, a weak sob wracking through you as you press your face into the damp pillow, willing it all to stop.

From what you can remember of Bruce’s presentation, your options are very limited. You could wait for the serum to run its course, with the small chance it won’t send you into a pain induced coma. You could try to satiate the need yourself, but he warned this could also have a counter-effect, making the pain so unbearable you end up in a coma anyways. Or, and really what seems to be your only option, you engage in coitus.

Another cry rips from your lungs, the piercing pain continuing to uncomfortably pulsate under your skin, as you realize the only person who could help is the last person you would want to ask. Instead, you have a brief moment of lucidness and you allow your stubborn nature to take over.

Slowly, you shift to lay on your back, tears slipping out of the corners of your eyes and trailing down your temples. With a shaky hand, you slide it under the elastic of your underwear in search of some relief. The fabric, damp and tacky with your arousal, brushes against your knuckles, but the second the pad of your middle finger touches your swollen clit, a sharp sting shoots up your body. It rips you apart, like a knife stabbing mercilessly at your insides and slicing you open; punishment for not doing what the serum is designed for.

A pitiful whine falls from your lips followed by a cry. It’s the only thing you can do as you roll back onto your side, pinching your legs together. The lust induced fever reaches unbearable heights, your consciousness waning when a new prickling sensation of needles all over your body takes over. It immediately has you resenting your stubbornness.

Then, a rough, almost desperate, knock breaks you from your thoughts. Through your delirium, it takes you a moment to gauge if it was real or not. But when you hear it again, you deduce it wasn’t a hallucinated side-effect of the serum.

On trembling limbs, you manage to get out of the bed. As you stand upright, you take a moment to grasp the nightstand. Dizziness swirls around your head, the room spinning as you attempt to discern up from down before taking the five, agonizing steps to the door.

With great effort, you turn the knob and pull the door open. On the other side, Bucky appears. Through blurry vision you can see he’s drenched in sweat, too. His long hair sticks to the sides of his face as a sheen of sweat glistens off his forehead. A flush like a blooming rose stains the shiny skin across his chest, reflecting off the moonlight as it rises and falls in rapid motions.

He clenches his hands into fists, but overall, he seems in a bit more control of his body than you, most likely in due part to the other serum that flows through his veins. But when you meet his gaze, there’s a burning, untamed desire spiraling in the depths of blue, blowing his pupils wide, and you realize his control is holding on by a feeble thread.

Seeing him ignites a new fire within you, and it takes you back to before. To a time when things were simple, and there were no defensive walls between you. To a time when you called him yours.

It forces you to let your guard down, and you nearly fall into his arms, whining, “Bucky…”

He catches you, scooping you into his arms and carrying you back to bed. Gently, he lays you atop the drenched mattress, his sinewy figure hovering over yours. He’s close, so close, and that fact alone is enough to make you lightheaded.

A blinding wave of lust crashes over you when you’re hit with a scent that you can only describe as him; musky with a hint of spice. But there’s a trace of something tangy you pick up on, and when you glance to the bulge in his boxers, you know it’s his arousal. The thought induces an uncontrollable throb to pulsate through your core, its effects rippling with pain and you cry out instinctively.

Bucky can only stare at you as he assesses the situation. He’s in his own world of discomfort, you’re sure of it. He can smell you on any normal given day, so you can only imagine what kind of restraint he’s using in this moment when his senses are in overdrive.

“Sweetheart, please tell me you didn’t try to touch yourself,” he pleads when he realizes how much agony you really are in.

Sobbing, you can only nod. A pattern of crescent moons indent into the clammy skin of his back as you dig your fingers into it, an attempt to hold onto something to ground yourself and take the pain away.

He lets out a sigh, one you think is mixed with slight frustration at your refusal to never ask him for help and genuine concern over your wellbeing.

“Please,” you cry again. “Help me.”

Biting through his bottom lip, Bucky can taste copper. His hands clutch at the sheets on either side of your head. The whirs of his left arm fill the heated space as it incessantly grinds from tension; the muscles of his right arm almost bulging out of their flesh confines. A rush of conflicted emotions scatters over every inch of his face; desire, guilt, a tortured sadness, love.

He wants to help you. Hell, he needs help himself, but even through the fierce blaze of pain his body is going through, his moral compass remains strong, and he doesn’t want to make you do anything you would regret.

“I don’t want…I can’t…” he stammers. “You’re with somebody else.”

“Bucky, I don’t give a fuck about that!” You scream, finding your voice through the pain. “If this doesn’t stop soon, I’ll kill you myself before this fucking serum can do it.” Sweat continues to build along your hairline, beading and dripping. Gripping his face, you hold him an inch away to ensure he hears you loud and clear. “I need you.”

The remaining shreds of hesitancy and decency Bucky clung to instantly flies out the open window, catching in the freezing wind and lost to the blizzard. With a firm hand, Bucky reaches behind your neck and crashes his lips to yours. The cool metal of his hand alleviates some of the feverishness, a brief moment of respite, but it’s the feeling of his lips moving against yours, the knowing of what’s to come, that brings you most relief.

A light brush of his clothed erection against your leg has Bucky on the verge of crying, skin crawling with need. His symptoms started after yours, he deduced by the looks of your state when you answered the door, but it doesn’t mean he’s in any less anguish. Everything from the angry red tip of his cock to the sensitive skin around his sac aches in the most unpleasant way.

Leaning closer to you, Bucky rests his chest against yours, only feeling slightly satiated as his body begs for more. But the pressure has you pulling back, sucking in a pained hiss through clenched teeth.

“It hurts,” you whine, eyes scrunched closed in hopes to mentally will the pain away.

Bucky glances down to your covered torso. Through the thin fabric of your tank top, he can see your peaked nipples straining against the white cotton. Without another thought, he slides his hands underneath and removes it one quick motion. In the next, he swirls his hot, wet tongue over one bud before encasing his lips around it, gently sucking at the needy flesh.

“Ahhh!” You cry breathily.

Desperate fingers tangle in his sweaty locks, pulling at the scalp as he tends to one breast then the other. The ache in your abdomen is beginning to subside, but it’s still not enough. Instinctively, you start bucking your hips up to meet his.

“I need it, please. I need you,” you whine into the top of his head, taking a deep breath as his delicious pheromones continue to invade your senses.

Stopping his motions, Bucky brings his lips back to yours for another bruising kiss. His flesh hand immediately begins to descend over your stomach, slipping under the hemline of your panties. He feels how wet you are; how incredibly, impossibly wet you are, and his cock jumps in his boxers at the feel of your warm arousal covering his digits.

This time when your clit is touched, there is no shooting pain, only a blooming sense of relief, and it sends a wave of goosebumps over your entire body. A choked moan sticks in your throat, tears welling in your eyes and spilling out.

“Yes,” you sigh.

Fingers still twisted in his hair, Bucky tends to your neck with sloppy kisses, the short hairs of his stubble scratchy against your skin. Small ripples of satisfaction pulse through your core at Bucky’s continued ministrations, the squelching sound of two thick fingers moving in and out of your heat condenses the heavy air. But it only lasts a few minutes before your body is burning up again; twisting your insides and reprimanding for not giving it what it needs.

“Bucky.”

Releasing the hold you have on his hair, your hands trail down his sides to his lower abdomen. The bristly hairs below his naval tickle your palm as you slip a hand under the elastic of his boxers. His cock is achingly hard when you wrap your fingers around it, thick and heavy, velvety soft in your hold. It’s the hardest you’ve ever felt and you wonder how he’s been able to restrain himself for this long. Gently, you sweep your thumb over the weeping tip, his pre-arousal hot and sticky.

A guttural groan, deep and pained, erupts from his chest, reverberating against the skin of your neck. Bucky shudders on top of you, body going slightly limp as he allows himself to bask in the brief moment of respite. God, he missed being touched by you.

“Please.”

Finally, Bucky picks his head up. His eyes are wide, a crazed, animalistic look glazing over the usual calm ocean blue, but there’s a flash of concern that cracks through.

“Are you ready? I don’t wan—“

“Yes, I’m fucking ready,” you grit out. “Now stop acting like you aren’t also dying for this and fuck me already.”

In a blur of heady movements, Bucky removes his boxers and rips your panties off, leaving you both stark naked together for the first time in a long time. Settling between your thighs, Bucky lines himself up at your entrance, your core already throbbing in anticipation. He easily sinks in, a chorus of moans breaking out when he passes the threshold, the first sense of real relief you’ve both felt all night.

When he bottoms out, it's the fullest you’ve ever felt. It’s an unexplainable feeling that has you wanting to claw your skin off at how amazing the sensation is; the ache almost satisfied.

Bucky nearly collapses on top of you. Also momentarily blissed out from the euphoric sense of relief, his forearms catch himself just before he crushes you with his weight. You’ve always been tight, but this, this has his toes curling and fingers gripping desperately at the headboard, willing himself to keep it together and not manically drive into you.

“Fuck,” he groans, and you can feel his body trembling against yours.

Nails dig into the slick skin of his lower back, pulling him into you briefly before demanding, “Move.”

Without having to be told twice, Bucky lets go and retracts his hips before relentlessly pounding into you. A scream rips from your lungs, and you think you could be on the verge of passing out. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoes around the room, blending with muffled grunts and strangled moans.

“Always so tight,” Bucky groans against your open mouth. “So good for me.” He peppers kisses over your face, wiping a gentle hand over your forehead to remove some of the sweat that’s built up before using it to cradle the back of your head.

Your body is alight with a tingling desire, tuning you into every minute feeling; each veiny ridge of his cock drags against your silk walls, the coarse hairs at the base tickling your slick folds each time he reaches the hilt, a delicious full pressure filling you up. It creates a burning friction that has you already clenching around him, and your only reaction is to bury your face into his neck, nipping at the flesh there.

Bucky growls, his chest vibrating against yours. Blindly, he reaches for your right thigh with his metal hand, hiking it high over his hip. The new, deeper angle has you pulling your mouth away from his neck to blissfully cry out. The springs of the cheap mattress continuously prod at your lower back as Bucky shifts his weight to increase the force of his thrusts.

Above you, Bucky is teetering on the edge of losing all control and giving in to the innate primal urge clawing its way out, begging to be released. But the super soldier serum allows him to keep one hand on the wheel, and he’s grateful for that. At least one of you can keep a semi-level head in this situation—one that he’s to blame for. As he watches you, though, squirming under him from uncontrollable need, feeling you clench down around him over and over again, whimpering in a blissed out daze, his willpower is faltering.

With every rough snap of his hips, he feels you getting closer, the tip of his cock repeatedly hitting the sweet spot inside you. He’s mindful to not leave any marks; a partly coherent piece of him still aware enough to not leave any physical traces on you of this god awful event. The vibranium grip he has on your thigh loosens.

He’s careful to not leave a mark, but he lets you. From the bruising kisses already purpling on his neck to the harsh red lines scratched down his back, he lets you. And he silently curses the serum’s rapid healing effects, knowing he’ll only have these reminders for a short while. To remind him when you were his again, even if it isn’t in the way he wanted, he could still fool himself.

Two trembling arms snake around Bucky’s neck, your quivering thighs tighten against his hips. There’s a new throbbing ache, a building soreness, between your legs, but this time, it’s welcomed. Your insides begin to twist, the chord of pleasure straining for release.

Bucky momentarily frees your thigh from his hold to slip his metal hand between your sweat covered bodies. The typically cool metal is hot against your swollen clit as he rubs generous circles over it, pushing you closer to the edge of euphoria.

“Don’t stop,” you pant against the shell of his ear. “Please don’t stop.”

It takes only a few more rapid thrusts before your skin begins to prickle with the sensation of pins and needles. A contradiction of pain and pleasure emanating from your core, overwhelming you as the chord snaps and your entire body engulfs in flaming elation. It ceases your breathing, has your eyes rolling into the back of your head, vision blurred and whited out.

“Fuck, yes!” You cry out between strangled sobs, arms and legs securing firmly around Bucky.

Tightly clenching around him, Bucky nearly chokes on air, the tightest you’ve ever been, and he’s determined to reach his own release. His skin is on fire, body blazing with need and his rational mind slips as he finally gives in. Viscously snapping his hips into you, he’s so close he can almost taste it. A wild rush courses through him, egging him on and clouding his mind.

“My best girl,” he pants by your ear, face buried in the pillow you rest on, “my only girl.”

He continues to pound into you, his thrusts faltering every now and then when he feels a fluttering aftershock of your orgasm. “Love you,” he breathes between nips and kisses along your slack jaw, one hand gripping the back of your neck, the other gripping onto the underside of your thigh again, “so much.”

The words dissolve into the mist of your sex fueled haze and they’re quickly forgotten about as you blindly agree you love him too. He bites down gently on the skin of your shoulder, a feral growl reverberates through his entire body as he releases inside you, and he forces himself in as deep as he can go. So much for not leaving any marks.

The two of you stay like that for a moment, bodies trembling and hearts thundering wildly in your chests, competing against one another as you come down from the intense high. Like a thick fog, the lustful intoxication of the serum dissipates, clearing your minds and allowing the harsh reality of the situation to settle in.

A chill fills the room, a breath of wind spilling in from the open window, causing you to shudder beneath him. It’s the only thing you can really feel as a numbing after effect consumes you.

Bucky feels you slightly shaking and lifts up, letting go of your thigh and you let it limply fall to the mattress. Resting on one hand, Bucky uses the other to grip the base of his cock, slowly removing it from inside you. You both watch as he reappears covered in your mixed juices. Pained hisses cut through the silence when he’s fully out, taking a piece of you with him; or maybe it’s one he’s always had. An uncomfortable emptiness leaves you feeling hollow in more ways than one.

Then, Bucky is looking to you. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” He searches your eyes for any indication that you’re in any form of discomfort.

You don’t respond; only stare blankly up at him for a moment before sliding your legs out from under him and gently push off the bed. Silently, you gather your clothing that was discarded in a feverish state of pain and desire, not even bothering to take the time to search for your underwear Bucky carelessly threw somewhere. As you move around the room, the warm stickiness of his spend begins to trail down your inner thigh, hastening your effort to get cleaned up. Without another glance in his direction, you slip out of the room and into the bathroom across the hall.

Cool, refreshing water cascades over your skin, simmering the boil of surging emotions inside. Anger at Bucky’s carelessness; guilt at cheating on your partner; and confusion at the newfound adoration you thought was buried long ago, when you and Bucky decided it was no longer working between you.

It’s difficult for you to discern when your feelings towards Bucky started blossoming again. You could easily brush it off as a lingering side effect of the serum—a slight emotional attachment to the person who took your pain away. But you know it’s so much more than that. If anything, tonight has brought to light all the feelings you’ve been trying to suppress for far too long.

Moments of catching yourself staring longer than you should; being secretly excited when assigned on missions together, despite outwardly protesting your discontent for the situation; nights spent wondering about the what ifs and could have beens.

The raging storm of confusion elicits a deep frustrated grumble. Slipping your head under the running water, you pray for it to help make sense of everything swirling around inside it.

The pipes squeak and groan as you cut off the water, drying off and redressing. But before you slip your shirt back on, you catch sight of a reddened mark on your right shoulder in the mirror. Grazing light fingers over it, you harshly bite down on your bottom lip to stop the threat of tears. Quickly, you drag your shirt over your head and cover it up, trying to forget that Bucky had been yours once again, if only for a moment. But there’s still a dull ache throbbing between your legs, radiating up into your chest and clamping around your heart, and you pull on every fiber in your being to not cry at the thought of it.

Opening the bathroom door, you peek out into the hallway, searching for any sign you’re not alone. When you don’t see one, you step out but stop before going back into your room.

The door hangs open, a clear view of tangled sheets and a fading imprint on the mattress the only remaining signs of what just occurred. The ache slightly intensifies the longer you stare at it. Instead, you opt to sleep on the couch in the living room.

The fire burned out hours ago, the room only illuminated now by the bright moon hanging outside the window. Laying on the couch, a numbness settles over your body, glassy eyes staring at the pulsating glow of the small pile of embers. Only a few minutes pass before you finally cave, crumbling into yourself as you allow the new wave of internal pain to take over, and you cry.

__________________________________________

A soft weighted sensation stirs you from your sleep the next morning, and you have to quickly reach out to stop the blanket that covers you from slipping onto the floor. Gripping it, your brows knit together as curious eyes scan over the fabric. You don’t recall getting the blanket at any point during the night, and you slowly sit up to place it on the cushion beside you.

The front door opens, and you snap your head in the direction to see Bucky’s large figure appearing in the room, stomping his feet to rid his boots of snow. Instinctively, your eyes squint from the brightness of the sun reflecting on the whiteness outside, raising a hand to shield it. When Bucky catches sight that you’re awake, he stops his motions and stares at you.

His cerulean eyes are always brighter in the morning, something you remember from before, but no longer allow yourself to bask in. This morning, however, they’re a sad shade of grey; dull, puffy, and slightly red around the rim. A flicker of remorse flashes across his features as he notices your own disheveled state.

He uneasily clears his throat, dropping your gaze to remove the gloves from his hands. “The Quinjet is all packed. I figured you’d want to leave as soon as possible.” He clutches both gloves in one hand, looking to you once again. “I’m ready when you are.”

Blinking away the tears that burn the back of your eyes, you nod your head. “Okay.”

Almost like a hangover, you’re still a bit lightheaded from the after effects of the serum and your night of crying, wobbling a bit when you stand on two feet. In hopes to steady your equilibrium, you press the base of your palms into your eyes, taking a few deep breaths.

“Are you okay?” Bucky softly asks, voice ripe with worry.

“I’m fine.” The words scratch their way out, your throat sore from crying.

Without another word, you collect your belongings and rush out to the Quinjet, leaving Bucky to follow behind you. Settling in, you choose to sit as far away from him as possible, your skin already crawling at the prospect of sitting in an uncomfortable silence for the next four hours with your ex-boyfriend.

Your ex-boyfriend who you reluctantly had between your legs no less than eight hours ago.

The faint throb returns, constricting your chest, and you shift to turn away from him. Even from the pilot’s seat, you can feel Bucky’s stare burning through you. You shift again, curling your legs up and tucking an arm under your head in an attempt to get comfortable enough to hopefully fall asleep, and ignore the awkward tension brewing between you.

Once you’re finally back at the Compound, you can’t get off the Quinjet fast enough. As you land, Bucky rhetorically tells you he’ll finish up the rest of the post-mission paperwork, ensuring you won’t have to worry about it. You only nod before leaving him alone to retreat back to your room.

Five long days pass in a blur.

Nat came to check on you soon after you returned home. You internally debated telling her what happened, but the more you tried to keep it to yourself, the more it ate away at you. Once the initial shock wore off, she insisted you go to the med lab to get checked out, and then asked what you were going to do now.

You could only answer honestly when you said, “I don’t know.”

You knew you had to talk to Tom. The thought alone created a rock of dread that sat heavy in your stomach, but it was nothing compared to the thought of having to talk to Bucky.

It’s on the sixth day you finally manage to muster up enough courage to talk to the man you’ve been avoiding for almost a week. You haven’t seen Bucky since you returned home, mindful to keep your distance and you’re sure he tried to keep his, too. A few times you heard him coming and going from his room, and you think there was one night he lingered outside your door before he decided against coming to you.

The sound of his door closing breaks you from your thoughts, head snapping in the direction of the wooden barrier currently between you. Gently chewing on the inside of your cheek, you ponder for another moment before you ultimately decide to just get it over with, rip the metaphorical bandaid off and be done with it. Standing up from the chair you sit on, you take a deep breath and go to him.

Hesitantly, you raise a fisted hand to his door, knocking softly. You wait, your fingers wringing together as anxiety curdles in your stomach, and you almost turn to leave, but the door suddenly whips open. Bucky stands before you with a slight dip in his brow, eyes uncertain as he regards you, waiting for you to speak.

“Um,” you begin, voice low and shy, “can we talk?”

He remains silent, stepping to the side to open the door for you to enter. You falter, taking a step before second guessing if this is even a good idea, and you almost run back to your room until you stop yourself. Stop being dumb.

Bucky closes the door once you’re inside, and you’re suddenly hyperaware of the fact you’re alone with him once again when he turns to face you. Goosebumps prick at your skin, the anxiety twisting your insides that much more.

“How are you?”

The weakness of your voice has you internally wincing. You’ve been with this man countless times before, fought with and against him, and all of a sudden you’re a fragile mess before him? No, you’re stronger than that. Pulling your shoulders back, you raise your chin as you wait for him to respond.

“I’ve been better,” he replies evenly.

You slowly nod. “I assume you went to see Bruce,” you begin, and continue once he confirms, “and I assume everything was okay?”

He nods.

“That’s good.” You pause to rub your lips together, crossing your arms self-consciously over your midsection. “I told him the tonic took a few hours to take effect, so he thinks it might’ve been old.” Another pause before you sarcastically add, “Still potent once it starts working.”

Pinching his lips together into a thin line, Bucky doesn’t say anything. You notice the dull blue of his eyes, reminding you of the sad, stormy grey they were the morning after in the safe house.

Swallowing thickly, you briefly look away as your brain scatters for something else to say. With your mind distracted by other things, and in your haste to get this whole ordeal over with, you gave little thought to what you would say to him. You open your mouth to say something, what—you aren’t sure—but Bucky beats you to it.

“I really am sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean for any of that to happen.”

There’s a sadness that pulls at the corners of his eyes, a sincerity in his voice, but his words flip a switch inside you. No longer a lost, fragile mess, red begins to cloud your vision, anger seeping into your veins.

“Oh, so you’re finally taking ownership for your actions?” You spit. “That’s nice.”

Bucky lets out a frustrated sigh, rolling his eyes as he looks to the ceiling. “Please don’t do this.”

You choose to ignore him, continuing with your verbal assault and unsubstantiated accusations. “Or did you do it on purpose? Trying to get back in my pants again to prove some kind of sick point that I’ll always be yours? Is that it?”

Incredulity creases Bucky’s brows, his eyes widening at your outburst. “What are you talking about?” He asks, annoyance threading through his rising voice. “How was I supposed to know what it was?”

Clenching your back teeth, you shake your head at him. “Forget it,” you begin, moving to step around him. “Forget I even came here. This was stupid.”

You only make it halfway to the door before Bucky is grasping your upper arm, stopping your movements and swinging you back around to face him.

“No,” he firmly states, “you came here to talk, so let’s talk. This isn’t gonna be like before. I’m not going to let you run away from this.”

“From what?”

“Us.”

A tense silence falls between you, chests heaving as you stare each other down. Finally, Bucky speaks again, releasing your arm and dropping his gaze to the floor.

“What did your boyfriend say?”

Taking another hard swallow, your voice is low when you respond, “We’re not together anymore.”

Bucky swiftly picks his head up to look at you, guilt shining over his pleading eyes. “Please don’t tell me he broke up with you because of my fuck up.”

“No,” you sigh, eyes downcast to the floor. “I broke up with him.”

There’s a brief pause as Bucky processes your words. “Why would you do that?”

The question is simple, but the answer has left you in a tangled mess of emotions. “Because,” you pause, taking another deep breath, “because I realized something.”

“What?”

Gazing back to Bucky, you choose to ignore your conflicted answer, and instead ask him a question of your own. A question you hope will help bring you some form of peace. “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?” His voice is low, nearly a whisper.

Taking a moment to gather your thoughts, steeling your frenzied nerves, you finally respond, “When we were…together, you said you loved me. Did you mean it?”

Bucky’s eyes widen in surprise, clearly not expecting you to bring that up. It was a slip of the tongue, spoken in the heat of the moment as he was overcome with a crazed desire. He didn’t think you heard it, or at least, didn’t really comprehend what he was saying, but he did mean it. He’s silently loved you from afar every single day since he let you walk away, always too afraid to admit it out loud to himself, and to you.

But he does. He loves you and he means it, every word. And in this moment, he’d rather ingest the sex tonic all over again, allow it to destroy him, than let you slip away a second time.

“Yes,” he replies, voice strong and full of conviction. His eyes hold your stare, watching as they gloss over with unshed tears. “I meant it.”

The confession has a breath catching in your throat. The raging war of confusing thoughts and feelings comes to a cease fire, your inner turmoil surrendering as everything falls back into place.

Without an ounce of hesitation, you reach out for him. Both hands grasp along his jaw, lips crashing onto his. Bucky reacts instantly, gripping your waist to pull you in. His lips are fierce against yours, desperate like a man starved, and his tongue slips out seeking yours.

The kiss is a bittersweet taste of resentment and longing. Tongues gliding against one another as you both forgive and remember what it’s like to be together again. It tastes like home.

Breathless, you pull away, eyes searching his—no longer dull and conflicted, they shine bright with a spark of hopefulness.

“I’m sorry, too,” you softly say, “and I’m willing to try again if you are.”

Bucky lets out a deep, pleased sigh, the beginnings of a smile curling the corner of his mouth. Tenderly, he places a chaste kiss to your lips, your cheek, and wraps two strong arms around you, securing you into a tight embrace.

“I missed you,” he says, the words muffled, his lips pressed against your shoulder.

The beating of your heart stutters at his admission, a pleasant flip in your belly, because you’ve missed him, too. So much, and more than you allowed yourself to admit.

Tightening your arms around his neck, you softly tell him, “I love you, too.”

And you mean it.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes

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bailey-writes · 4 years ago

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So You Want Your OC to be Jewish

So you’re writing a story and you want to make a Jewish character—great! I’m here to help. I always want more Jewish representation but I want good Jewish representation, so this is my attempt to make a guide to making a Jewish character. What are my credentials? I’m Jewish and have been my whole life. Obligatory disclaimer that this is by no means comprehensive, I don’t know everything, all Jews are different, and this is based on my experiences as an American Jew so I have no idea, what, if any, of this applies to non-American Jews.

If there’s anything you want me to make a post going more into detail about or if there’s anything I didn’t mention but you want to know please ask me! I hope this is helpful :) Warning, this is long.

Jew PSA

If you are Jewish you can use the word Jew(s), e.g. “She’s dating a Jew.” If you are not Jewish you cannot use the word Jew(s). This is not up for debate. Non-Jews calling us Jews has a negative connotation at best. Don’t do it and don’t have your characters do it.

Basics, Plus My Random Thoughts that Didn’t Fit Anywhere Else

A confusing enduring issue is, what is Judaism? It’s a religion, but some Jews aren’t religious; is it a race? A nationality? A culture? A heritage? The only constant is that we are seen as “other.” There’s a lot of debate, which makes it confusing to be Jewish and as such it’s common for Jews to struggle with their Jewish Identity. However many people agree that Jews are an ethnoreligious group, aka Judaism is a religion and an ethnicity.

Temple/Synagogue/Shul = Jewish place of worship. Shul is usually used for Orthodox synagogues.

Keeping kosher = following Jewish dietary rules: meat and dairy can’t be eaten together and you can’t eat pork or shellfish. Fish and eggs are pareve (aka neutral) and can be eaten with meat or dairy (but again not both at the same time.) When eating meat it has to be kosher meat (e.g. kosher Jews are allowed to eat chicken, but not all chicken is kosher. I know it’s kinda confusing I’m sorry.) Kosher products in stores will have symbols on them to identify them as kosher. If someone is kosher they’ll probably have separate sets of utensils/plates/cookware/etc. for meat and dairy

Shabbat/Shabbos/Sabbath = holy day of the week, day of rest, lasts from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. Depending on observance Jews might have Shabbat dinner, attend Shabbat services, or observe the day of rest in its entirety (making them shomer Shabbat)

Someone who is shomer Shabbat will refrain from any of the prohibited activities. These can easily be looked up but include: working, writing, handling money, cooking, and using technology.

Bat/Bar/B’nai Mitvzah = tradition where a Jewish boy/girl becomes a man/woman. Celebrated at 13-years-old for boys, 12- or 13-years-old for girls. Girls have Bat Mitzvahs (bat means daughter in Hebrew), boys have Bar Mitzvahs (bar means son in Hebrew) and twins or two or more people having one together have a B’nai Mitzvah. They will study for this for months and then help lead services and, depending on observance level, read from the Torah. The ceremony is often attended by family and friends and followed with a celebration of sorts (in America usually this means a brunch and/or party.)

Goy/gentile = non-Jew. These words are not slurs, they are literally just words. Plural of goy is goyim and is a Yiddish word, plural of gentile is gentiles.

Jewish holidays follow the Hebrew calendar, meaning that according to the current solar/Gregorian calendar the dates of our holidays are different each year.

Jewish law recognizes matrilineal inheritance. This means that Jewish law states your mother has to be Jewish for you to be Jewish. This is because of reasons from biblical times that I can explain if you wanna come ask, but as you can imagine is a bit outdated. While Orthodox Jews might embrace this idea and only consider someone Jewish if their mom is Jewish, many Jews are more flexible on the idea (and yes, this does cause tension between Orthodox Jews and other Jews at times.)

Judaism =/= Christianity

Some people think Judaism is just Christianity without Jesus (some people don’t even realize we don’t believe in/celebrate Jesus so newsflash, we don’t) and that’s just wrong. Yes both religions share the Old Testament, so they also share some history and beliefs, but the entire ideologies of the religions are different. In brief, they are similar in some ways but are not the same.

What seems to me to be the biggest difference is that Christianity (from what I understand) has a heavy focus on sins, more specifically repenting for/gaining forgiveness for your sins. In Christianity you are born tainted by original sin. In Judaism we believe everyone is born pure and free from sin and everyone is made in God’s image. Judaism has some concept of sin, but doesn’t focus on them and instead focuses on performing Mitzvot (plural, singular form is mitzvah. Direct translation is “commandment” but basically means good deed or act of kindness. It also relates to the commandments, so following the commandments is also performing mitzvot.) Examples of mitzvot include anything from saying a prayer or lighting Shabbat candles to helping a stranger or donating to charity (called tzedakah). One of the main tenets of Judaism is tikkun olam, which directly translates to “repair the world” and means exactly what it says on the tin. Instead of focusing on being forgiven for doing bad Judaism focuses on doing good. The only day we focus on past wrongdoings is Yom Kippur, one of our most holy holidays, discussed below.

Holidays

Rosh Hashanah – The Jewish New Year, occurs around September and lasts for two days, though Reform Jews often only celebrate the first day. Day of happiness and joy, celebrated by eating sweet things for a “sweet new year” (often apples dipped in honey) and circular challah to represent the end of one year and beginning of another. Also celebrated with services and blowing the shofar (rams horn.) Some spend the day in prayer and/or silent meditation. Possible greetings: chag sameach (happy holiday; can be said on almost any holiday), Shana Tovah, or happy new year (which is what Shana Tovah means, some people just say it in English.)

Yom Kippur – Day of Atonement. Occurs ten days after the start of Rosh Hashanah. One of if not the most solemn day for Jews, but also the most holy. The day is spent reflecting on yourself and any past wrongdoings and atoning. The day (sundown the night before to sundown the day of) is spent fasting, a physical way of atoning. We do this in hopes of being “written in the Book of Life” and starting the year with a clean slate. The shofar is blown at the end of the holiday. Most Jews will end the fast with a grand meal with family and friends. Most common greeting is “have an easy fast,” but happy new year is still appropriate.

Sukkot – Celebrates the harvest, occurs on the fifth day after Yom Kippur and lasts seven days. Celebrated by building a temporary hut outdoors called a sukkah and having meals inside it, as well as shaking palm fronds tied together (called a lulav) and holding a citrus called an etrog. Very fun and festive holiday. Possible greetings include chag sameach or Happy Sukkot.

Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah – Some Jews (mostly Reform Jews and Jews living in Israel) combine both holidays into one day while some celebrate them as two separate days. Either way they occur immediately after Sukkot. Shemini Atzeret is similar but separate from Sukkot and features a prayer for rain; Sukkot is not mentioned in prayers and the lulav isn’t shaken but you do eat in the sukkah. Simchat Torah celebrates finishing reading the Torah, which we will then begin again the next day. It’s a festive holiday with dancing and fun. Some Temples will roll the entire Torah out and the children will run under it. Appropriate greeting for both would be chag sameach.

Rosh Hashanah through Simchat Torah are referred to as the High Holidays.

Chanukah – We all know about Chanukah, celebrating the reclaiming of the Second Temple and the miracle of the oil lasting eight days. The most represented Jewish Holiday there is. Unfortunately it’s one of the least significant holidays for us. Occurs around November or December and lasts eight days and nights. Celebrated by lighting candles in the Menorah each night with a prayer and kids usually get gifts each night. Also celebrated with spinning tops called dreidels, fried foods like doughnuts (sufganiyot in Hebrew; usually the jelly filled ones) and potato pancakes called latkes. Greetings: happy Chanukah or chag sameach.

Tu B’Shevat – Birthday of the trees, basically Jewish Arbor Day. Minor but fun holiday, sometimes celebrated by planting trees. Occurs around January or February.

Purim – Celebrates how Queen Esther of Persia defeated Haman and saved her people, the Jews. Occurs in Spring. Festive holiday traditionally celebrated by dressing in costumes, eating sweets, and giving tzedakah (it’s also technically commanded you get drunk so woohoo!) Whenever Haman’s name is mentioned you make a lot of noise, booing and using noisemakers called groggers. Greetings: happy Purim, chag Purim, or chag sameach.

Passover/Pesach – Celebrates the Jews being freed from slavery in Egypt. Occurs in Spring and lasts eight days. The first two nights (some only celebrate the first night) are celebrated with seder, a ritual meal with certain foods, practices, prayers, and readings from a book called the Haggadah and often attended by family and friends. Most famous prayer/song of the holiday is the four questions, which ask why that night is different from all other nights and is traditionally sung by the youngest child at the seder. The entire holiday is spent not eating certain foods, mostly grain or flour (the food restrictions are complicated and differ based on denomination so look it up or ask a Jew.) We eat a lot of matzah during Pesach, which is like a cracker kinda. I personally hate it but some people actually like it. Greetings: happy Passover, chag pesach, or chag sameach.

Tisha B’Av – Anniversary of the destruction of the Temple. Occurs in Summer. Very sad, solemn day. Some celebrate by fasting from sunrise to sunset. Not the most widely celebrated holiday. Some also commemorate the Holocaust (also called the Shoah) on this day as it was the destruction of a figurative temple.

Denominations

There are a bunch of denominations in Judaism, we’ll go into it briefly.

Religious denominations:

Reform/Reformed: This is the least religiously observant level. Often Reform Jews don’t keep kosher or observe Shabbat, their services on Shabbat will use instruments. Reform Jews probably attend services for the high holidays at the very least and probably had a Bat/Bar Mitzvah. Might say they consider themselves more culturally Jewish. Their Temple/Synagogue will be the most “liberal”—aka have more female/diverse Rabbis and a more diverse congregation. I’m Reform and my Temple’s lead Rabbi is a woman and we used to have a Rabbi who’s a queer single mother.

Conservative: More religiously observant and more generally traditional. Might keep kosher or observe Shabbat, but not necessarily. Services likely won’t use instruments (not supposed to play instruments on Shabbat). Most likely had a Bat/Bar Mitzvah, but girls might not read from the Torah, though this depends on the congregation. They do allow female Rabbis, but in my experience it’s less common.

Modern Orthodox: Very religiously observant but also embrace modern society. Will keep kosher and observe Shabbat. Men will wear kippot (singular=kippah) and tzitzit under their shirts. Women will cover their hair (if they’re married), most likely with a wig, and wear modest clothing (only wear skirts that are at least past their knees and long sleeves). Emphasis on continued study of Torah/Talmud. Parents will likely have jobs. Might have larger families (aka more children) but might not. Services will be segregated by gender, girls won’t read from the Torah publicly, and female Rabbis are very rare. Children will most likely attend a religious school. Will attend shul services every Shabbat and for holidays.

note: there are some people who fall somewhere between modern Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox, or between any two denominations really. as you can imagine people don’t all practice the exact same way.

Ultra-Orthodox: Very religiously observant and not necessarily modern. Will keep kosher and observe Shabbat. Men will wear kippot or other head coverings and tzitzit under their shirts, and are also often seen wearing suits. Women will cover their hair (if they’re married) with a wig or scarf and wear modest clothing (only wear skirts that are at least past their knees and long sleeves). Emphasis on continued study of Torah/Talmud. Men might have jobs but might instead focus on Jewish studies, while women most often focus on housework and child-rearing. Don’t believe in contraception (but this is kinda nuanced and depends). Will often have very large families because having children is a commandment and helps continue the Jewish people. Might be shomer negiah which means not touching members of the opposite sex aside from their spouse and some close family members. Services will be segregated by gender, girls won’t read from the Torah publicly, and there won’t be female Rabbis. Children will attend a religious school. Will attend shul services every Shabbat and for holidays.

Ethnic denominations (the different denominations do have some differences in practices and such but tbh I don’t know much about that so this is just the basics):

Ashkenazi: Jews that originate from Central/Eastern Europe. Yiddish, a combination of Hebrew and German, originated from and was spoken by Ashkenazim and while it’s a dying language it’s spoken among many Orthodox Jews and many Jews of all levels know/speak some Yiddish words and phrases. Majority of Jews worldwide are Ashkenazi.

Sephardi/Sephardic: Jews that originate from the Iberian Peninsula, North Africa, and southeastern Europe. Ladino, a combination of Old Spanish and Hebrew, originated from and was spoken by Sephardim. It is also a dying language but is still spoken by some Sephardim. After Ashkenazi most of the world’s Jews are Sephardic.

Mizrahi: Jews that originate from the Middle East and North Africa.

Ethiopian Jews: Community of Jews that lived in Ethiopia for over 1,000 years, though most have immigrated to Israel by now.

Stereotypes/Tropes/Controversies/Etc.

There are so many Jewish stereotypes and shit and I ask you to please be mindful of them. Stereotypes do exist for a reason, so some people will fit stereotypes. This means your character might fit one or two; don’t make them fit all of them. Please. Stereotypes to keep in mind (and steer away from) include:

All Jews are rich.

All Jews are greedy.

All Jews are cheap/frugal.

All Jews are [insert job here]. We’ll go into this more below.

All Jews hate Christians/Muslims/etc.

All Jews are white.

First of all Ethiopian and Mizrahi Jews exist, many Sephardi are Hispanic, and today with intermarriage and everything this just isn’t true.

All Jews have the same physical features: large and/or hooked nose, beady eyes, droopy eyelids, red hair (this is an old stereotype I didn’t really know existed), curly hair.

Many Jews do have somewhat large noses and curly hair. I’m not saying you can’t give these features to your characters, but I am saying to be careful and don’t go overboard. And don’t give all of your Jewish characters these features. As a side note, it is common at least among American Jews that girls get nose jobs. Not all, but some.

Jews are secretly world elite/control the world/are lizard people/new world order/ any of this stuff.

STAY AWAY FROM. DO NOT DO THIS OR ANYTHING LIKE THIS. If you have a character that’s part lizard, do not make them Jewish. If you have a character that’s part of a secret group that controls the entire world, do not make them Jewish.

Jews have horns. If you have characters with horns please don’t make them Jewish.

Jews killed Jesus.

The blood libel. Ew. No.

The blood libel is an antisemitic accusation/idea/concept that back in the day Jews would murder Christian children to use their blood in religious rituals and sometimes even for consumption (did I mention gross?) Not only did this just not happen, but it’s actually against Jewish law to murder, sacrifice, or consume blood. Yes these accusations really happened and it became a main reason for persecution of Jews. And some people still believe this shit.

Jews caused The Plague.

The reason this conspiracy exists is because many Jews didn’t get The Plague and the goyim thought that meant it was because the Jews caused it/cursed them. The real reason Jews didn’t get it is because ritual hand-washing and good hygiene kept them from getting it. Sorry that we bathe.

Jewish mother stereotype.

Ok, listen. I know stereotypes are mostly a bad thing but I have to admit the Jewish mother stereotype is not far off. Jewish moms do tend to be chatty and a little nagging, are often very involved in their children’s lives, and they are often trying to feed everyone (although they don’t all cook, my mom hates cooking.) They also tend to be big worriers, mostly worrying about their family/loved ones. They also tend to know everyone somehow. A twenty minute trip to the grocery store can turn into an hour or two long trip because she’ll chat with all the people she runs into.

Jewish-American Princess (JAP) ((I know calling Japanese people Japs is offensive. Jews will call girls JAPs, but with a completely different meaning. If that’s still offensive I am sorry, but just know it happens.))

This is the stereotype that portrays Jewish girls/women as spoiled brats basically. They will be pampered and materialistic. Do these girls exist? Definitely. I still recommend steering away from this stereotype.

Names

Listen. Listen. There are some names that Jews just won’t have. I won’t speak in definites because there are always exceptions but you’ll rarely find a Jew named Trinity or Grace or Faith or any form of Chris/Christopher/Christina etc. Biblical names from the Old Testament? Absolutely Jews will have those names they’re actually very common.

I’m in a Jewish Sorority. My pledge class of ~70 girls had five Rebeccas and four Sarahs. Surprisingly only one Rachel though.

When it comes to last names I have two thoughts that might seem contradictory but hear me out: a) give your Jewish OC’s Jewish surnames, b) don’t give your Jewish OC’s the most Jewish surname to ever exist.

By this I mean I would much rather see a character named Sarah Cohen or Aaron Levine than Rachel Smith. Just that little bit of recognition makes a happy exclamation point appear over my head, plus it can be a good way to hint to readers that your OC is Jewish.

On the other hand, please don’t use the most stereotypical Jewish names you’ve ever heard. If you have five Jewish OCs and one of them is Isaac Goldstein then fine. If Isaac Goldstein is your only Jewish OC I might get a little peeved. There are tons of common Jewish surnames that are recognizable and easy to look up, so don’t revert to the first three that come to mind. Maybe it’s just me, but I find it yucky, for lack of a better word.

Jobs

We all know there are certain jobs that are stereotypical for Jews to have. We’re talking lawyer, dentist, doctor, banker type stuff. To an extent these stereotypes exist for a reason, many Jews go into those careers. Do not make these the only careers your Jewish OCs have. Stereotypes might have reasoning behind them but it doesn’t mean they aren’t harmful. If you have multiple Jewish OCs some of them can have these careers, but not all of them. I do know a lot of Jewish lawyers, dentists, and doctors. I also know accountants, people involved in businesses (“mom, what does Brad do?” “he’s a businessman” sometimes there just aren’t more specific words), people involved in real estate. I don’t actually know any bankers personally, and with money and stuff being one of the most common and harmful Jewish stereotypes I would suggest steering away from that.

These are common fields for Jews, but Jews can have literally any job. Please feel free to get creative. And if you have more than one Jewish OC you can think about making one of them a Rabbi, but DON’T do this if they’re the only Jewish OC. Please.

Yiddish

So I mentioned Yiddish earlier. Like I already said, it’s not a very widely used language anymore but there are some words and phrases that are still used by a lot of Jews (in America at least.) Here’s a list that is absolutely not comprehensive:

Oy vey = oh no

Shvitzing = sweating (but not just a little bit. Shvitzing is like SWEATING)

Kvetch/kvetching = whine/whining or complain/complaining

Mazel tov = congratulations; this is the same in Yiddish and Hebrew

Chutzpah = nerve or gall (e.g. “He’s got a lot of chutzpah for breaking up over text like that”)

Kismet = fate; I just learned this is Yiddish

Bubbe and Zayde = grandma and grandpa

Schelp/schlepping = drag/dragging, can also mean carry or move (e.g. “I had to schlep the bag all around town” doesn’t mean they literally dragged it)

Schmutz = dirt or something dirty (e.g. “you have schmutz on your face”)

Schmatta = literally means rag but can be used to refer to ratty blankets or clothes

Plotz = collapse (usually used in the sense of “I’m so tired I might plotz” or “she’s gonna be so excited she’s gonna plotz”)

Schmuck/shmendrick = both mean more or less the same, a jerk or obnoxious person

Shtick = gimmick, routine, or act (can be used like (“I don’t like that comedian’s shtick” or “he always makes himself the center of attention it’s his shtick”)

Spiel = long speech, story, or rant

There’s so many more so look them up and think about using them, but don’t overdo it. A Jewish person isn’t gonna use a Yiddish word in every sentence (or even every day or every few days.)

Israel

In my community at least it’s very common that by the time your college-aged that you’ll have been to Israel at least once.

Israel is a controversial topic within the Jewish community and in the world. It’s sensitive and complex. I really, really suggest not getting into it. Just don’t bring it up because no matter what you say someone will be unhappy. Just don’t do it.

Ashkenazi Disorders

Ashkenazi Jews have some sucky genes (I’m Ashkenazi so I can say this, you cannot.) These sucky genes cause certain disorders to be more prevalent for us. Children only get the disorder if both parents are carriers of the disorder, so Jews usually get genetic testing done before having children. If both parents are carriers the risk of the child getting the disorder is high, so parents might reconsider or have some indecisiveness/fear. Some of these are:

Tay-Sachs

Cystic Fibrosis

Canavan Disease

Familial Dysautonomia

Gaucher Disease

Spinal Muscular Atrophy

Fanconi Anemia

Mucolipidosis IV

Niemann-Pick Disease

Torsion Dystonia

Bloom Syndrome

Ashkenazi Jews also have a high prevalence of the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, which increase the risk of breast and ovarian cancer in women and increase the risk of breast and prostate cancer in men.

Crohn’s Disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and Lactose Intolerance are also very prevalent

In a dorm of like 40 Jews, six of them had Crohn’s.

Ways to Show Your OC is Jewish

Wears Jewish jewelry, e.g. Star of David (also called Jewish Star and Magen David), Chai symbol (means life), jewelry with Sh’ma prayer, or hamsa (but beware this symbol is used outside of Judaism).

Mentions their temple, their Rabbi, having a Bat/Bar Mitzvah, going to Hebrew School, Shabbat, or a holiday coming up.

Have someone ask them a question about Judaism.

Have someone notice they have a mezuzah on their door.

Most Jews will have a mezuzah on the doorframe of the front door of their house/apartment, but they could even have one for their dorm room or whatever. It’s traditional to kiss your hand then touch the mezuzah when walking through the door, but most Jews don’t do this every time, at least not most Reform or Conservative Jews.

Have them call out antisemitism if you’re feeling spicy

The end! I hope this helped and if you have any questions my ask box is always open!

#writing advice #writing tips #writing help #jewish characters #judaism #writing resources #writeblr community #wtwcommunity #i said i would make this post literally months ago but i finally did it!

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prof-peach · 3 years ago

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if fans wanted to include peach in stuff they write, would that be okay? and how would they write peach's personality? aside from "FIGHT ME" anyway, i think that much is a given lol. i only really write the anime characters 'cause that's what i know, but it sounds like it'd be kinda fun to try making a version of ash that fits into this blog's universe! nerf'd Obviously, but i think she'd probably appreciate how hands-on he gets when training his pokemon!

Ok, I get a lot of these messages, and I often hear folks wanting to throw peach into their stories and comics and writings, and I will always simply ask that if it’s published online publicly, to be linked to it so I can snoop and enjoy the content too. If someone asks about her in your work, let them know about the blog I guess? But literally I love that people take this stuff, these characters and stories, and make new stuff with it. No ones making money off my work here? So where’s the issue? Go for it buddy, knock yourself out, I’m all for it.

For you, and all the others out there who want to add peach, and other characters to your world building, I will give you a detailed rundown of the main lot, and how they behave, what they do, how they function. You can use that, use bits, or use none of it, I do not mind at all. If you’re creating something, you’re in control, not me.

So, peach doesn’t actually fight people as much as you’d think. She’s very aware most cannot and do not want to do that, and so she likes to keep to herself with regards to that aspect of her life, she doesn’t ask to spar with people, or even bring it up at all, but people ask her all the time, even if they clearly would lose or become hurt should she miscalculate during the fight. She looks at people like they usually create problems, and often has a somewhat reserved nature to other humans. You have to work quite hard to get anything more than formalities out of her. She will dead-pan handle people with blunt and very to-the-point statements, aid whenever possible, but very quickly get back to handling the Pokemon she so carefully tends. Her focus is clear, she’s all about hard work, her very small select family, and the Pokemon.

Her brutal, loud and brash personality only comes out with friends, family, difficult humans, OR any Pokemon. She will joke and laugh and play with Pokemon, but clam up around humans, maintaining tight body language and generally will be a little cold by regular standards. She does however have some weaknesses in this emotionless shield she puts up. When peach was young she was always angry, which swung so fast to sadness, back and forth. Her teenage years it just got worse and worse, it was crippling at points. She is to this day, full of fire and rage, even sadness, but now she has learnt to control it, to use it. When she sees that in others, it’s familiar, and she is pushed to drop the front, and be very real with the person. Underdogs I suppose, people who get bad reps, but deserve the same as everyone else. She can’t ignore it.

Once you start to pry open her personality, you’ll find she’s a lot more laid back and fun than originally appeared, you just have to work hard to find that side of her. She will meme reference, can’t dance to save her life, loves her coffee, and can be caught in quiet contemplation while gardening. This hobby is her calmest, and often is why she can stay so level headed when her quiet rage boils up again. Without time outside she will become grouchy, a little snippy, and lethargic. Will not go in the ocean for any reason other than life or death, is fine with ponds and rivers, or water at wading height. Likes the rain.

With regards to her training others, they usually have to tolerate her somewhat strict nature. She is a little....unforgiving, holds a grudge if you make a lot of mistakes, and has no tolerance for ignorance in the age of information that we all live in. In previous posts I’ve mentioned she’s only recently selected two students, after many years of testing kids who want to learn from her. Hundred tried out, only two have ever been approved. How she teaches is very fast paced, be prepared to get some scrapes and bruises, she will test your physical and emotional tolerances with intense tasks, carefully watching students like a hawk. Bad posture in your stance? She’ll be the first to tell you to sort it out. Not hearing your Pokemon partner? Right, now you spend the day without using words trying to communicate, let’s see how you like not being listened to.

This is a woman who has spent her life saying very little, and watching everything, she watches Pokemon and can see an issue from a mile off, and in battles, her observations are why she can react fast, and chose effective strategy to avoid damage and achieve results. Don’t let her body fool you, her strongest asset is analysing, watching, planning. Those skills have over the years transferred to people too. As a student, mistakes don’t go unnoticed with this professor.

Her methods are harsh but fair, and should you prove yourself, she will protect you with her life.

Because of her disinterest in kids and lots of noise, she does pass the training of students on to the other staff members whenever possible. Grey takes on the lions share of battle lessons, he is far calmer, more open and friendly, with patience for people, and an empathy that peach sometimes struggles to have. When you go through a lot of harsh training, and difficult events, it’s hard to change how you feel or think, with peach, well, she’s been through it. Most do not come out the other end in one piece, but she did, and it made her strong. You may think I mean strong like buff and big, and yeah sure she is, but I mean it mentally more than anything. Peach will not quit. She has learnt to destroy the boundaries that stop people getting hurt, gone is the fear that freezes you in your tracks, that feeling that you’ll pass out if you go one more step. She’s learnt to ignore it.

This means she’s a little forgetful at how it is to be normal, to be vulnerable and soft and squishy like students so usually are.

She has her issues, but for the most part, visitors get a laugh, a smile, a calm assertive confidence, and facts. She will indulge those who have genuine interest, or show a connection with nature, an understanding of the balance that needs to be struck for everyone to live well together.

Despite her many flaws, she’s fiercely protective, and will go above and beyond to defend the island, it’s staff, the Pokemon and the visitors. Injustice is her biggest gripe, along with littering, and she doesn’t stand by quietly if something happens that seems unfair.

You will not see her without Valka, her vulpix, close by. That Pokemon doesn’t like to be touched by strangers, at all, and will run the second someone comes at her with that intent. Peach will scold you for pushing yourself onto her, should you persistently try to get close to pet Val. They are in sync, if peach is sad, Val is sad, if Val is stressed, peach is stressed, and so on. They are inherently connected, it’s just been that long, the psychic bridge between them has been built, and reinforced over the years.

The only other Pokemon who follows her so endlessly is Booker, a teddiursa who’s pretty rough looking. He quietly trots behind, grouchy and stoic, they fight closely together a lot. He lost his mom a long time ago to poachers, and peach took him in, and changed her whole life for him. Not many people know, but Booker was the reason she left the rangers, changed career, and got so strong. Will tolerate people petting him but isn’t keen at all, grumbles a lot and tries to move away.

You may also need to know about the others, for the sake of writing, she here a few more bits that may be important to you, or others wanting to do this.

Grey is very tall, very burly, composed, tells bad dad jokes, is a bit of a goof if allowed to be. If he sees a pun, he’ll say it. Can’t help himself. Very nice guy to work with, good at keeping people calm and grounded. Pokemon are drawn to him like a moth to a flame, he gives off warm energy, and has inhuman amounts of patience. If you wrong his family however, he will snap back.

He grew up in the city, loves to swim and hike and cycle, can snowboard, is really sporty. A total brain box with held items, and boosting stats. He will explore many paths, to make sure visitors and students get the information they need, in a way that can be remembered and retained for later. Is a huge guy, but will get on the floor to play with a tiny Pokemon. Treats big “meaner” looking species like babies, very good with all pokemon.

His free time is spent either tinkering, swimming, or trimming his bonsai trees. This guy stares at screens a lot, so appreciates time away from them. Peach built him his own little greenhouse for his trees and tools, which he keeps clean and loves dearly.

His methods as a teacher are built around fun and games, he makes hard work easier to do by distracting trainers from the difficult bits, and focusing in on something more interesting or compelling.

His most commonly seen Pokemon would be a houndoom, Saxon, old battle veteran, retired now to herding and being a good boy. Very gentle, loves a pet.

Pari, now a fully fledged nurse, often oversees the labs front desk and pokecentre features, such as healing pokemon, and informing trainers who come to visit. Her skills with eggs and hatchlings is high, she’s great with younger Pokemon, and hands out good advice to trainers a lot. She’s not a fighter, never was, but can find any file, any study, any book, and any refrence you may need. A true bookworm, loves her romance novels, chat shows and upbeat celebrity gossip mags. Will cry at a lot of stuff, be it sad or happy.

She’s got a seriously upbeat personality, but if caught off guard or shocked, she gets a little flustered. Too much chaos will overwhelm her, but usually she’s on top of things. The years spent on the island have made her better at maintaining composure in emergencies. With lots of siblings, she’s very competent with others, and has a good ability to disarm cagey people with her jolly nature. Because of this, she can sometimes gain information from trainers that some of the more harsh professors may not have access to. Charming is a word for it.

Her partners are an eevee, and a happiny. They are quite sweet and well adjusted, the eevee gets a bit bouncy if you get it too excited.

#if you dont want to use the refs #im really cool with it #just enjoy yourself buddy #pokemon #prof.peach #peach talks #prof.grey #pari #dotaku island #dotaku staff #PLEASE #just ask me if you dont know something #or feel i missed something in what i wrote

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veenxys · 4 years ago

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hi!! i hope you’re having a great day!! i was curious how the bnha boyfies (( deku, bakugo, todoroki, kirishima, denki, sero, shinsou, tamaki, mirio, shindo, monoma, shiggy, dabi + hawks )) would react if their s/o who is selectively clingy w certain people kinda back off suddenly because they just feel.. embarrassed?? like when they were a kid people reacted negatively to their clinginess and would ignore them for it. and they just feel so dumb to show emotion & showing their clinginess? and they feel like they’re being a bother and being annoying too... & suddenly just feel like closing off from the world lol? & like they can just feel really out of place and get negative thoughts that they don’t belong there, X person or a group of ppl in the convo don’t wanna talk to them etc and feel like they don’t belong in the conversation if that makes sense (i get those thoughts especially when i’m in a group i feel like i get overlooked a lot lol and i’ve never really felt included + like i can just feel so overwhelmed sometimes about the amount pf people / crowds or feeling like i’m being judged bc i’m beating myself up mentally abt my insecurities and i just end up most likely having a panic attack and just like tearing up, either crying on the spot or trying to hold it in till i get home). i’ve been feeling like this recently and i’d love to see what they’d do if that’s possible please!! thank you so much!!

»»————-　★　————-««

a/n: english is not my first language, sorry if I have a mistake!

Hi my angel, sorry but I don't write to Monoma or Shindo :/ and I loved this request because I feel exactly like this, so I did my best to make you feel comfortable. <3

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Bakugou

You are the only person who can break Bakugou's shields and he is very grateful for that, but he also wanted to break your shields.

He knows about your insecurities and he identifies with you, so he tries to learn, so he can teach you.

He always starts with small gestures of affection, to show you that you can be comfortable with him because he will not hurt you, quite the contrary, he just wants to make you safe.

And he could spend hours just feeling your touch, he enjoys every second of it.

When you go somewhere with a lot of people, he always stands by your side holding your hand.

If he sees that you are tense or nervous, he will kiss your temple and pull you somewhere more isolated and will start talking about random things with you to try to make you forget your fear.

Whenever you start talking, all of his attention goes to you, it's like he's mesmerized every time you open your mouth.

Sometimes the two of you are talking as if you are in your own world, forgetting everything around you.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Deku

Deku never misses an opportunity to show you affection, so he will always have a hand on you, stroking your hair, or holding your hand.

He does everything possible and impossible to make you feel comfortable with him, and if you don't, he doesn't give up trying. Because he wants to help you and he wants to show you how much he loves you.

If you are with a lot of people, he always praises you in front of everyone.

"Y / n is the best hero I have ever seen, they are amazing!"

When you start to say something, he just looks at you with shining eyes and a smile on his face, silently saying that all of his attention is on you.

He always has an arm around you, showing you that you are safe with him.

If you are not feeling well, he will understand and will quickly go somewhere calmer with you.

He caresses your face with affection while you say everything you want.

Deku will do anything to make you feel good and safe in his arms.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Kirishima

Kirishima is always the first to show affection, because he wants to show you that he loves you and that you are safe with him.

He knows about your insecurity and your problems, and he is more than ready to help you with that.

If you start showing affection for him and just stop, he'll be sad and have a cute pout on his lips as he snuggles up to you like a child.

‘’ Please continue ’’ he whispers against your neck as he hugs you tight.

If you are somewhere with a lot of people, he will always be on your side, like always.

Just one look from you and he already knows what you need or how you are feeling.

He takes your hand carefully and takes you to a quieter place.

He hugs you and shows you random things from the street to distract you, he makes some silly jokes too.

You are his world, and he will do anything so that you can smile without fear.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Todoroki

Todoroki is not much to show affection, but for you he tries.

He wants to show you that you are safe with him, that you are at home with him.

So it is through small gestures that he does this, but they are gestures so pure and unique that I cannot explain.

Anyway, Todoroki is very quiet so he will not say anything if you show affection to him, but he will complain if you stop.

When you are somewhere with a lot of people, he is always looking at you to see if everything is okay.

If not, he'll take you somewhere quiet so he can talk to you peacefully.

He caresses your face while talking to you, about anything you want.

He tries to distract you by saying silly things about his week.

And just seeing your smile makes Todoroki's day complete.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Denki

Denki shows affection for you 24/7 after he finds out about your insecurity.

He always wants to know if you're feeling comfortable and well, it's literally all the time.

When you show affection for him, he goes crazy because he never wants you to stop, it's like a drug that he got addicted to.

And if you stop showing affection, this drama queen will cry a lot and will only stop when you show affection for him again.

Anyway, if you are somewhere with a lot of people, Denki always tries to distract you from your bad thoughts.

Honestly Denki is professional at making you laugh

But if you want to leave, he will understand perfectly and will go somewhere empty with you.

He kisses you, hugs you and says cute things to you

Like I said, he always wants to make you comfortable and safe because you are his world, and he will never let anything hurt you.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Tamaki

It is very difficult for Tamaki to show affection, but for you he tries anything.

So it starts with small things that you fall in love with more every day.

When you show affection for him for the first time, he melts at your touch.

And through small gestures, he will ask you to continue.

Well, I guess you don't have to worry about going out to places with a lot of people because your boyfriend doesn't like to go out either.

But if you go out, you stay further away from people, isolating yourself in your own little world.

Tamaki always looks to you to make sure you are okay, and if you are sad he will be desperate and will do anything to make you feel good.

Then he will take you home and hug you and caress you as if you are the most precious thing in the world. (because you are, I don't make the rules)

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Shinsou

It would take a while for Shinsou to be able to open up to you, but when he does, he never stops.

He loves to kiss you and say cute things to you

And when he manages to make you comfortable with him, he feels the greatest happiness in his life.

He could spend the rest of his life just feeling your touch.

If you feel uncomfortable with a lot of people, he will talk to you about random things to distract you.

Or else he will take you home and take care of you like a baby.

So get ready to see the best side of Shinsou.

He will show all his love for you in every way possible, he is completely in love with you and that will never change.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Mirio

Mirio is CEO in showing affection for you and making you laugh

Your feelings are his number one priority, so he does everything for you

He shows affection for you 24/7

And he almost cries when he can make you feel comfortable with him

If you are uncomfortable when you are with a lot of people, he will be very worried and will take you somewhere calmer.

He will hug you, tell you random and funny things to cheer you up.

And when you smile at him, he feels his heart melt in your chest, because your smile is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his life, and he will fight until the last second so that you never stop smiling.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Hawks

Hawks are a needy baby so get ready because he will fill you with love.

You are his priority, so he will always ensure that you are well and comfortable

No matter how long it takes, he will do anything to make you feel safe with him.

And when that happens, he is so proud of you (and himself)

And he shows even more affection, so good luck

Anyway, when you go out, he always has a hand on you, whether it's around your shoulder, your waist or holding your hand.

When you feel uncomfortable, he stops everything he is doing and comes to you, wrapping his wings around you while he strokes your cheek.

He takes you home and lets you say whatever you want while he hugs you and caresses your body.

He wraps his wings around you again, making you feel safe in your own little world.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Dabi

Dabi is not the kind of person who shows affection, but after he discovers your insecurity, he will do his best to make you feel loved by him.

He does not say, of course. He prefers to make small gestures that make your heart race

He will never admit it, but the greatest happiness of his life was when he managed to make you feel comfortable with him.

He loves your touch and he could spend eternity just feeling it.

You rarely go out, but when that happens, he always makes sure that you're okay.

He's always looking at you, and just one look from you and he already understands what's going on.

He caresses your cheek and kisses your lips before taking you home.

He hugs you and strokes your back.

He won't talk about what you're feeling because he doesn't want you to remember, so he'll talk about random things from his day, hoping that you feel better in his arms.

»»————-　★　————-««

⤷ Shigaraki

Shigaraki is like you, he wants so much to be able to show affection for you, but he is afraid.

But then he tries, with small gestures that you barely notice at first, but then it becomes something constant between you.

It takes a while for Shigaraki to feel comfortable with you, but when he does, he will be on your side 24/7

And trust me, he will do anything to make you feel comfortable and safe with him. Because you are his home, and he wants it to be yours too.

When you go somewhere with a lot of people, Shigaraki doesn't leave your side for even a second.

If you feel uncomfortable or something, he will go out with you in the same second, taking you somewhere calm and peaceful.

He hugs you, kisses your forehead and strokes your back.

Shigaraki would destroy the world to protect his home.

»»————-　★　————-««

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alycosworld · 3 years ago

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guess who🤡 heyhey 💕 here. I’m pretty sure by this 2nd request u can tell that I’m a very emotional person🧍🏻‍♀️ and that I’m a person that seeks alot of comfort from fictional characters because i dont have a life and good friends.

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putting a divider here so u dont have to read everything and can look out for keywords!

purple—> person

pink—>genre

green—>subject

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I’m not sure if u r comfy writing kazuha so if yr not I’m sorry u can ignore this! i just want a fluff comfort for reader who got like REALLY scolded for getting bad grades for exams because u have no idea how angsty I’m feeling rn:( my parents just literally like scolded me like there was no tmr istg- so i just need really fluff comfort. so a kazuha x NB(non bibary)!reader

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Anyways again tysm u have no idea how grateful i am if you accept my request!!!<3 get lots of rest and drink water. only do this if you want to!

byebye<3

-💕

Kazuha's Wise and Whimsical Words

Kaedehara Kazuha X Reader

A/N: aaaa 💕anon ily!! being emotional is completely fine and I would be honoured to become of your good friends!! I will be a part of your life, private message me if you're ever feeling down! I just want my readers happy because they make me happy aaaaaa 🥺

with that being said, i love this request! My parents were so hard on me when it came to exams, but as soon as I broke away from their expectations, I started to appreciate my grades more. I'll leave the real comforting words for Kazuha to say but NO ONE SHOULD EVER be disappointed in yourself if you tried your best. Thank you for your support and the request, I hope the story makes you feel better. Enjoy!

ps: I took into account the fact that not everyone has a mother and a father and not everyone has two parents at all, so only one parent is mentioned here and they are left gender neutral so it's easier to picture yourself in the story.

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"(Y/N). This is not at all what I expected. What happened to you?" Your parent asked sternly.

"Well, I--"

"I don't want to hear any excuses. Your predicted grades were much higher than this!" They said, raising their voice.

"I'm sorry, I--"

"Sorry is not going to improve your results! Do you really think that now is a good time to be slacking off? You have one more exam period before university. I don't care if you pass those exams, I want you to excel. And if you don't, you are not attending Sumeru Academia, whether they accept you or not. I am not paying for you to study overseas, only for you to get mediocre grades." They said, making you even more anxious than before the exam.

"But I got above the average!"

"By two percent! And the average was low." Your parent said, narrowing their eyes slightly and upsetting you with their belittling gaze.

"Realistically--"

"Realistically? Realistically?! If you want to study realistically, you should find someone else to pay for your education. When you want to study successfully, you can come back." They slammed the stack of sheets that displayed your results on the table with a loud bang before folding their arms as you grabbed a jacket and stormed out of the house, tears running down your face.

You walked for a while in the night, before eventually finding yourself in an area you were less familiar with. After recognising it to be somewhere near your boyfriend's current residence off Beidou's ship, you made a beeline for his place, knocking on the door and hoping, praying he would be alone inside.

The door soon opened and Kazuha stood there, initially with a smile on his face but it soon dropped when he saw your expression.

"(Y/N)? What happened?" He asked.

"C-can I come inside?" You sniffled.

"Of course, Love. Come in." He said, ushering you into his quaint little place. You stood by the door that closed behind you before Kazuha pushed the coat you had lazily draped over your shoulder onto the floor and enveloped you in his arms.

You broke down in his embrace. You had done better than most of your fellow students, and frankly, you were kind of proud of your result. But it was foolish of you to think that your parent would accept anything but perfection. They said it was all for you, but you were doubting it. Did you even want to go to Sumeru Academia? You had had your heart set on it since you were a child, but maybe that was only because your folks always envisioned you going there.

"Why are you crying, my love?" Kazuha asked, sitting you down near the fire to warm you up and standing up to get you a blanket and a hot cup of tea.

"I'm not good enough." You mumbled. If it was anyone else, they wouldn't have heard you. But your boyfriend could listen to the wind "talk" - he was very attuned to quiet and subtle noises.

"Nonsense." He smiled, bringing you the blanket as you listened to the water boil in the background.

"You're more than good enough. Everyone who knows you adores you - no one more than me, of course." Kazuha chuckled, eventually setting down two cups of tea and sitting in front of you on the floor.

"Public opinion won't improve my grades." You said, now more stoic than upset. You had almost become numb and desensitised to degrading comments that after you cried a little and calmed down, you'd be straight-faced and almost emotionless. It didn't feel good, but it was certainly better than feeling bad.

"So this is about school." Kazuha nodded, gesturing for you to continue explaining why had happened.

"They keep talking about my grades. They said I shouldn't be slacking and that I'm not going to get to Sumeru Academia and that they want me to do better...maybe I'm interpreting it wrong. Maybe they're trying to encourage me?" You wondered aloud, thinking that somehow you were the problem. As soon as you said "they", Kazuha knew who you are referring to and sighed.

"Encouragement and doubt are two very different things. Unrealistic expectations, detrimental practices, emotionally, mentally or physically taxing improvement - none of that is going to help you. In fact, it'll make you feel worse. When you really think about what you have to do to achieve perfection, you'll only realise how unattainable it is. You'll fall into a perpetual spiral of intellectual destruction." Kazuha said.

"Then how the hell am I gonna get the best results?" You asked worriedly.

"You won't. No one will ever get the best results because more people and more previously unforeseen factors will come into play. What you can achieve is your best results. Your grades are a product of you, not the other way around. They are no measure of your worth, they cannot define you, and they do not have to be a part of you. If you don't ace one subject, you don't have to hang on to that or turn it into some strange part of you. You can't cling to it, it's impossible to cling to a piece of the past forever. That's not to say you don't learn from it, but it doesn't need to become some villainous trait - in the end, it is only a grade." Kazuha shield at you. His words warmed your heart more than the fire or tea, and they even seemed to dry your tears and allow you to mirror his expression.

"And at the very least, you can hold your head high knowing that you had the strength to participate in an exam when not everyone does. You went in, sat through it, attempted the questions and walked out. Not everyone has the courage to stay; some don't even have the courage to start. That goes for any endeavour you face." Kazuha said, before inching closer to you.

"Feeling any better?" He asked. You nodded instantly. Of course, Kazuha's wise and whimsical words had bettered your mood, it was Kazuha for Archon's sake.

"Good. Maybe we could go for an evening stroll? I'll treat you to dinner if you haven't eaten." He offered.

"Can...can we just stay like this for a little longer? I think being alone with you is nicer." You smiled.

"Of course, Angel. Anything you want."

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this was less physical fluff than I intended, but I think I do comfort with direct words and dialogue best, so I hope this is okay. honestly, everything kasha said is what I would've wished to hear when I was in this situation. I'll probably post a rant about my own exam experiences because this request got all my past feelings to resurface.

thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

#kazuha #genshin #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha kaedehara #genshin impact #genshin kazuha #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #kasha fluff #fluff comfort #comfort #kazuha comfort #non-binary reader #kazuha x reader #kazuha x you #kazuha x y/n

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dootdootwriting · 3 years ago

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AHHH CONGRATS ON 600!!! I hope you're doing well heehoo and if its okay can i ask for the whole alphabet with scaramouche?:3 (also pls don't overwork yourself jdjajdkdlfmmeis)

600+ event!!

this is my first time writing for scara so i hope i did okay aha,, under the cut for length!

fluff alphabet with scaramouche, gn reader, warning for inazuma quest/scaramouche backstory spoilers!!

why is his name so long

A-Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?)

- scaramouche isn't super knowledgeable about relationships, so he'll just sort of tentatively ask what you want to do and go along with it (though he might act like it's a stupid idea the whole time). really he doesn't care what he spends his free time on as long as you're a part of it.

B-Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

- well first of all, he admires the courage you've got to have to be with him in the first place. other than that, he also loves your smile (but you won't hear him tell you that out loud, unless you're not really asleep when he thinks you are)

C-Comfort (how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?)

- another thing he's alien to. at first just starts telling you to calm down and is pretty harsh about it. when he realizes this isn't working, he'll reluctantly take you into his arms and start awkwardly patting your head. it's funny how awkward it is and you end up laughing at him about it, which makes him annoyed, but at least now you feel better.

D-Dreams (how do they picture the future with their s/o?)

- scaramouche... either wants you to be by his side as he conquers everything and shows the world just how strong he is, or he wants to do it alone. though it would be much better if you were with him and it makes him sad to think about you not being there in the end.

E-Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship or rather passive?)

- surprisingly passive, actually. he doesn't really know what he's doing so he lets you make most of the decisions about dates and spending time together. other than that though, he likes to drag you around to do whatever he wants.

F-Fun (what do they do for fun with their s/o? what’s their idea of a fun day out?)

- what's fun? on a day off, scaramouche will wander around and ponder his own existence. you'll have to take him to a market or a park or something so he can actually experience things first - once you do, you'll find he enjoys being alone with you somewhere quiet, where he doesn't have to listen to other people.

G-Gratitude (how grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?)

- doesn't show it, but is definitely grateful, though he also doesn't know just how much of a hassle he can be. scaramouche just sort of assumed love was supposed to be unconditional... but he can tell when he's crossed a line, and he's grateful for you sticking by him despite everything.

H-Honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?)

- obviously the one big secret is how he came into being in the first place, but once he trusts you enough to tell you about his being a puppet and a test, he's in all the way. he hides little things from you before that but once he's told you, you're in it with him forever whether you like it or not, and that means he doesn't keep anything else from you.

I-Inspiration (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?)

- he's a lot more tolerable around you! you've been approached by fatui officers asking you "how do you do it?" and saying things like "thank you so much i totally thought i was gonna be yelled at today!" somehow you cool off his temper a bit.

J-Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)

- JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS man. he gets jealous so so easily and WILL confront you about it. after a while and once he knows he can trust you he gets jealous less frequently, because he knows you're with him for the long run.

K-Kisses (are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?).

- bad kisser at first because he's probably never been in love before. he gets the hang of it quickly though! your first kiss was because he had to shut you up and he couldn't figure out another way how so he just kissed you. you yelled at him after that.

L-Love confession (how would they confess to their s/o?)

- scaramouche confesses on purpose but in a really weird way. he plans it and everything - he takes you out to see the sunset and brings food (almost like a picnic) but then once he gets to the actual confession it's just like "how dare you do this to me? i stay awake at night thinking of you and somehow you're the most tolerable person i've ever met. childe had the audacity to call it love and to laugh at me so he got what he deserved. if you don't feel the same way i'll punch you too." but he doesn't end up having to punch you, which you're both very glad about.

M-Mornings (what’s it like waking up with them? do they sleep late or wake up before the sun rises?)

- he didn't have a reason to sleep in late until he started sleeping next to you. now he's stuck in his ridiculous sleep schedule so he always wakes up before you. but hey! bonus! now he gets to look at you while you sleep, which for some reason makes him extremely flustered (which is really cute to wake up to).

N-Nicknames (what do they call their s/o?)

- just calls you your name 🧍

O-On cloud nine (what are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?)

- when he discovered he was in love he got angry at you. then he realized it wasn't your fault, and, actually, this wasn't such a bad thing. man were you confused though. for a solid week he just yelled at you for no reason. childe guessed correctly when he realized scaramouche's more-unusual-than-usual behavior, but he had the decency to hold his tongue around you.

P-PDA (how are they with PDA? is it fun to them or are they more reserved with their affection?)

- hates pda. will hold your hand and that's it if you try to kiss him in public his face will scrunch up and his ears will pull back instinctively. then he'll avoid you for the rest of the day.

Q-Quirk (some random thing they do when they’re with you for no reason in particular)

- gently taps you at random moments, almost as if he's trying to remind himself that you're here with him.

R-Romance (how romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?)

- scaramouche tries to be romantic? he's doing his best. he tries all the gooey stuff to make you happy like buying you chocolate and giving you stuffed animals but in reality he has little to no tolerance for this kind of thing and you have to reassure him you love him, not the classic romantic things he forces himself to do. after that he stops, which is a huge relief.

S-Support (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals do they believe in them?)

- he's more focused on his own goals and climbing the fatui ladder, but he's also very invested in anything you're attempting to do. wholeheartedly believes in you, whether he outwardly expresses it or not.

T-Thrill (do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship or do they prefer certain routine?)

- scaramouche likes the security of his routine and the place your relationship is at. he gets embarrassed at pretty much any new milestone and needs some time to get to them, and he gets cranky when things change suddenly, so uh. no, he likes it better the way it is with little to no changes.

U-Understanding (how good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?)

- not very empathetic, but is very understanding. scaramouche lacks the ability to feel how you're feeling (is it because he isn't quite human?), but he does understand how you work and function, and the best ways to treat you depending on your mood.

V-Value (how important is the relationship to them? What is its worth in comparison to other things in their life?).

- since you're so important to him, you're about number two on his list of priorities, maybe almost tied with his work in the fatui. he can't stand people, but you've wormed your way into his heart, so he's not letting you go anytime soon.

W-Wild card (a random fluff headcanon?)

- any time you give him affection he's a little startled at first, but he comes to love it and eventually will ask you for hugs.

X-XOXO (Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?)

- yes but ONLY behind closed doors. he's afraid if he so much as looks at you lovingly his underlings will laugh at him, and he definitely can't have that. when you two are alone, however, he absolutely cannot get enough of your touch.

Y- Yearning (how will they cope when they are missing their partner?)

- angry angry angry and makes it everyone's problem. when you get back from your trip the mood is dark and agents are running up to you like you're their savior "OH GOD YOU'RE BACK THANK EVERYTHING PLEASE SAVE US."

Z-Zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)

- he would literally kill for you (please tell him not to)

#scaramouche x reader #GOD THIS TOOK SO LONG DONT FLOP PLEASE #scaramouche #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #the balladeer #scaramouche hcs #doot's 600 event!#fluff alphabet #scaramouche fluff alphabet #gi scaramouche #fluff #scaramouche fluff #gn! reader #archon quest spoilers #2.1 spoilers

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