#(bruce)
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i-lick-your-gun · 3 days ago
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Ay bro not to say that he isn't quiet but I did say "non-talkative" he's an introvert, but he does open up emotionally to his children and Alfred. He is not the "I am the PERSONIFICATION of LONELINESS and ANGST and NOBODY will EVER understand what I am going through >:|" type of loner the movies make him out to be.
Bruce: I wish I wasn't so lonely.
Alfred: Why don't you go out and talk to people?
Bruce: I don't wanna leave my house.
Alfred: Okay, invite people over.
Bruce: I don't want people in my space.
Alfred: If you love someone, you may feel different. Try starting a family.
Bruce: No, I'm scared of commitment. I guess I'll just be alone forever.
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mamawasatesttube · 1 day ago
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not to give tom king points for anything but i do sometimes just think about that page from superman: up in the sky where a child asks "if you and batman got in a fight, who would win?" and clark says "batman" and the kid goes ?????how????? and clark is like. oh i would let him :) you see, he's just got a sad little life so i would just give him that one you know??? like. djksjdlskdjsj fucking get him. spiritual successor to superman the wedding album where bruce is like you're getting married? and clark is like yeah man. im really happy. i know you don't know what that's like tho
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zweetpea · 4 hours ago
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Mrs. "Wayne"
Part 2
Content warning: Swears, Arranged Marriage, murder (Not by Bruce because he doesn't kill), threats
This chapter is a bit shorter than the last but I think this is a sweet ended to this story. (For now... If I think of something to add to it I'll make a proper finale).
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You awoke with a bag over your eyes, a rope around your wrists, and a killer headache.
Bruce ripped the bag off your head. “You’re lucky I have a no kill policy. But trust me when I say that if you’re going to wish I did.”
“Scary.” You mocked in a smooth and dull voice. “Does that work on all the drug addicted mental patients in spirit halloween costumes that you beat up?”
He grabbed your chin and pulled you forward a bit. “Don’t play with me, little girl.”
“Don’t call me little girl, old man. What do you want?” You asked boredly. 
He glared at you. “I should be the one asking that.” He spat.
You looked at him anammused and unenthusiastically said, “I’d like to be let out of the chair.” He tips the chair back slightly over the edge of this cliff in the cave. “Okay! Okay! I want the divorce to be quiet! I won’t take a small settlement! In fact I won’t ask for any money or assets! I-! Um… I want a pony? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY!!” You started to panic. There were a lot of things you could do, but surviving a 10-20 foot drop into a moat, while being tied up was not one of them.
He tips the chair back onto solid ground and grabs both of her shoulders. “You want a pony in exchange for your silence about the bat cave and my family?”
“Oh that’s what this is about?” The fear on your face dissipated. “I don’t really care about this.”
Bruce took a step back in shock. “What?”
“Yeah. This place is honestly amazing and I’m actually very impressed at what you do.” Your voice was genuine as you looked up at him.
He seemed skeptical. “You are?”
You smiled slightly. “Well, yeah! You fight 2 meta-humans, a bunch of psycho clown gymnasts, two guys in super suits, and just a bunch of other freaks every other week! Are you some kind of immortal being or something?” You geeked out a bit.
He looked at you surprised. “You know a lot about me.”
“Well, in retrospect, no offense but it’s kind of sad… and pathetic.” She looked at him sympathetically
He scoffs. “How?”
“You spent 14 years training to avenge your parents murder and you didn’t think to see a therapist?” 
“Point taken.” He started to untie You. “So you promise you won’t tell anyone?”
“Yeah. I’m not about to get dragged into this! Regardless of the truth behind our relationship, bad guys are going to come for me if I start blabbing about you guys. Not only that but the cops are going to hall me off to jail too if you get caught for vigilantism.”
“Oh… I didn’t think of that. I’m sorry…” He sits down on the cliffside with his head in his hands. “This whole thing has been a disaster.”
You sat down next to him. “Bruce?” You looked over curiously.
“Yeah?” He muttered.
You hesitated. “Why did you marry me?” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.
“Kid flash made a joke about my irresponsible love life and I guess I took it to heart.” He confessed somberly.
You patted his shoulder comfortingly. “All teenagers suck. It’s just growing pains.”
“I don’t like being bullied by an 8th grader.” He looked over in what you want to describe as a pout but that can’t be right. This is batman! Batman doesn’t pout! He broods!
“Imagine how Damian is going to be at that age.” You giggled. He growled and looked away. Oh my goodness. Batman was pouting. You burst out in laughter. “You are too special, Bruce.” You gave him a quick side hug and pulled yourself up. “Come on. Let’s go order take out and laugh at how stupid Villains are.”
He smiled at you slightly and pulled himself up as well. “Yeah… They are pretty stupid.”
“I mean it took me two months to find this place when they haven't come close in 2 decades!” She laughed and took his arm in hers. 
“Well Condiment king found this place a decade ago. But no one’s heard from him since so the villains stopped trying.” Bruce smirked.
You looked up at him worriedly. “I thought you didn’t kill.”
“I don’t, but my ex-special forces of a butler does.” He closes up the door to the batcave.
“...oh…”
He kissed your forehead and ushered you out of the library. “Nothing you need to worry about. Now let’s go order some takeout!”
You two ordered some Chinese food and lounged on the couch watching whatever was popular on Wayneflix. Bruce ordered shrimp fried rice and egg rolls while you just got a little of whatever caught your eye.
You pulled a throw blanket over you both and ate straight from the take out containers. It was weird being so close to him.
“I thought you didn’t like me touching you.” He reminded you of what you’d said less than a few hours ago. Seems like he noticed it too.
You shrugged. “I don’t like you feeling me up but I don’t mind cuddling. I suppose I should get used to it considering the fact that you’re probably going to keep me under lock and key for the rest of my life.” You shuffled closer to him.
He was silent for a moment before he spoke in a reassuring tone: “It’s not forever. Just a little while. I need to be sure you don’t plan on running off to the alps of Switzerland or something.”
You rolled your eyes. “No! Don’t be ridiculous! …Still can’t believe that the world hasn’t figured out you’re Batman yet. It’s so obvious in retrospect! Is that just my hindsight bias showing?”
“Maybe. Or maybe it’s the fact that a few tabloids are still floating around the idea that Batman is some kryptonian pet that Superman brought with him that gained a high level of intelligence.” Bruce practically shovelled his portion of food down his throat. 
“Pace yourself!” You scolded him. “And there’s no way anyone actually believes that.”
“Yeah well there’s also no concrete proof that links me to my alter ego.” Bruce pointed out in a playful tone.
“Yeah but… people don’t even float around the idea you're his sugar daddy-” You were interrupted by a certain tween.
“Father! Todd has informed me that he will be over shortly- Are you two cuddling?” Damian sounded repulsed by the idea.
You looked up at him. “Hey terror tot.” You greeted, flatly.
“Damian, I saved half my shrimp fried rice for you.” Bruce offered rather uncharacteristically warmly.
Damian turned away in a pout. “No thank you father. I hope you and your mistress have fun on your date.”
You interjected. “Firstly, super not the mistress. Secondly, it’s not like a date date so you can join us if you want. Thirdly, growing nestlings need to eat to build strength.”
Damian froze as Bruce sighed and rolled his eyes. “What did you just call me?”  Damian's voice was mostly steady but there was undeniably a hint of fear.
“Damian, she knows about the bat cave.” Bruce calmed the boy.
“YOU SHOWED HER THE BAT CAVE!!” Damian screamed in shock and fury.
“Damian, compose yourself!” Bruce stood up. The two stared each other down from opposite sides of the couch.
“So are we abandoning movie night?” Your question went unanswered as Damian started ripping into Bruce about how irresponsible it was for him to show it off to “Impress her” (his words); and how hypocritical he was.
Bruce finally grabbed Damian’s shoulders and got him to quiet down. “She found the batcave.”
“A likely story.” Damian crossed his arms and grimaced at you.
“History of taxes, fifth shelf from the bottom, middle-right to the left of the big bay window in the library, dewey decimal number 336.20.”
“It took you two months to find the bat cave?” Damian raised an eyebrow at you.
You looked back at him. “In all honesty I just wanted to read something you guys hadn’t. Some books might be boring but it’s better to actually read the books to you rather than flaunt them, like some wannabe Jay Gatsby.”
Damian stood there in shock. “You’ve read The Great Gatsby?”
You scoffed. “Everyone had to read The Great Gatsby. I had a terrible teacher that basically told us Daisy was the victim throughout the Novel. Which I would understand if she was drawing that conclusion from synchronizing her with Fitzgerald’s actual wife Zelda but she wasn’t.” You paused the movie for a second. “The Great Gatsby is a weird novel when you actually understand the story of the people behind it. Fitzgerald is Gatsby and Zelda is Daisy. However the entire book portrays their relationship as a fantasy. Gatsby grows to regret it. He lusts for her beauty and wealth while Daisy almost comes off as superficial. The rich stay rich and the poor men who try to make a name for themselves are naive fools. It really paints a bad light on how he viewed his own wife.”
The two men looked at you in utter shock. “What’s hilariously sad is the fact that Fitzgerald based a lot of what he wrote around Zelda’s diary entries. Daisy is horribly depressed in her marriage, and she hates her husband. You’d think that Fitzgerald would realize how much his wife despised him and how unhappy he made her but he seemed oblivious to that fact.” You grabbed the container of shrimp fried rice and handed it to Damian. “So if you’ll excuse us, I'd like to get back to bonding with my husband so we don’t end up like Zelda and her vile husband.” You pulled Bruce back onto the couch and gave him what you had left of your take out.
“You don’t have to-” Bruce tried to protest and give you back your food.
“I assume you’ll be out late. You’ll need energy if you’re going to be staying out till dawn.”
“I just want to take a nap…” He mumbled and held you close like a child holding a plushie.”
You fixed the blanket over you both again and got comfy in his arms. “Get some rest Bruce. You need it.”
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spicy-apple-pie · 3 months ago
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Bruce then compliments him more and Dick busts a move. Every. Single. Time. Without fail.
Commission Info / Kofi
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monkesupreme · 2 months ago
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ref
a satisfactory answer for Selina
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sol-sketchz · 2 months ago
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Robin 94’
Such a fun series!!
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urdeadbestfriend · 11 days ago
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my cumshot princess 💞
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greenmango-kai · 2 months ago
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Duke introducing the bat fam
"This is my older brother, Tim, his spleen is being kept in a jar by my younger brother's grandfather and he has no sleep schedule."
"This is Jason, he's been missing for 5 years because he was in witness protection because he witnessed the Joker killing Robin, no he wasn't dead."
"This is Dick, yes everyone really does call him that, except for the youngest."
"This is Damian, he will try and kill you but if you bring him an animal you will be temporarily spared."
"This is Cass, she's knows what you're thinking."
"This is Barbara, Bruce has been trying to adopt her for years but the commissioner is still alive somehow."
"This is Bruce, if you give him puppy dog eyes, he'll probably give you money."
"This is Stephanie, we don't know where she came from but she's staying and we can't get rid of her."
"This is Alfred, yes he is the boss."
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marskiiii · 5 months ago
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REFERENCE PRACTICE W MY NEW BRUSHESSS (and battinson)
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a-lost-crow · 1 year ago
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How to save yourself from a lengthy angst fic
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em-doods · 1 year ago
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I like trolls now
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martisno · 1 year ago
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Brozone save me brozone
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sandflakedraws · 11 months ago
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impromptu nap pile
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ghost-bxrd · 3 months ago
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Stuck on the thought that Bruce tried to be a father for Dick, but Dick didn’t want one. He wanted an equal, someone to fight crime with. And consequently, Bruce drove him away with his overbearing nature.
And then Jason came to him, and of course Bruce had to do better this time. He didn’t want to lose another child Robin. Only he realized too late that Jason didn’t just want to be Batman’s partner, he wanted to be Bruce’s son.
((And with Tim he was too scared to even try))
Kay thanks s’cuse me while I go cry in a corner goddammit
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spicy-apple-pie · 6 months ago
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You know when a kid says something they're not supposed to but it's so funny you can't help but laugh, but if you laugh you tell them that saying things like that is okay? Yeah, that's what Bruce is going through right now.
Commission Info / Kofi
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