#(because she truly believed you were so strong you would pass easily)

[themostefficientwaywithwater]

people who hate on nemona because she's "too yandere" and "doesn't take a no for an answer" make me wonder if they actually payed attention to her dialogues or only read those joke comics about her being obsessed with the player and always craving violence and said "yeah this is her personality now". or just hate women.

[maxphilippa]

babe wake up new GKGG AU designs just dropped

I should have done these long time ago but my brain just doesn't want to cooperate ig

You can find some info of them under the "Read More"!:

Marshmallow: Marshmallow was an influencer back then, even before the show began. Unlike in canon (Canon Bow), her friendship with Knife and Mic is explicit, since Marsh was a part of their friend group and she got to know II thanks to Mic because of her fangirling about it. She quickly got interesed on the show. She's an young adult that is, and was pretty close with the current Green Gamers polycule + Taco. Marsh is sweet and kind, shy as well, but she does like to have fun and once she wants to prove herself, she's reckless, to the point where others could call her dumb. Cobs didn't want her getting in trouble/hurt for getting in the middle of one of the challenges, but once he got the call from ADAM, he ended up accepting Marsh's presence in the show and made her a contestant. Marshmallow is a pretty social person as the time passes and she doesn't give up easily. So when they got her inside of Idiotic Island she wanted to escape since it was terrible, and Cobs made sure she didn't by... telling her to not do that, that they would go out sooner than later and that he was truly sorry for it, that it was what the showrunners asked him to do. As weird as it sounded for Marsh, she didn't focus on that but the fact that she still wanted to escape. And she almost did but... they trapped her inside of the metal box to not let her out. But no one really knew that she was there. Her Feral Look isn't exactly feral, as she is full of adrenaline and physical pain. Her thing here are pillows instead of chairs.

Bow: Bow is an special case. Marsh and her were best friends back then when Marsh was alive. Bow was a very known musician, who was also recognized by her strong attitude and quirky personality of sorts. But she was a great violinist and knew how to play the piano just great. Marshmallow was a big fan of Bow's songs, and Bow was a big admirer of Marsh's work. They did some collabs as well, and everything was going just fine. Until Marsh just... started to drift away slowly. Bow didn't want to say anything since she didn't want to bother Marshmallow, but she did miss her friend. She started sending her messages but Marsh couldn't reply because of the show and eventually, the box. When Marshmallow's definitive death was announced, Bow wasn't able to process it. So she was in denial. She didn't believe it and didn't want to do it. But... it was true. She knew Marsh was gone. She just didn't want to say "bye" to her friend. Stuff happens and, well, she ends up dying thanks to S&P. Marsh does no longer remember her, but she's happy to be with her friend again.

Dough: He's both a mix of Canon Dough and Canon Apple. He's slow at understanding things and doesn't get a lot of stuff, but his heart is in a good place. He doesn't have a lot of friends so he loves and cares deeply for those who he has (Apple, for example), but he's not as energetic really. He has a good heart and tries to be there for Apple, but Apple has troubles opening up after all. He likes to play the piano and likes making songs time to time. Even if his memory is kind of shit, he does remember that way back then, he had an step sibling to who he showed how to play some instruments as well. He doesn't know what happened to her ever since she went away, and... well, there's not much he can do anyway. He's an splendid guy, just needs more critical thinking.

Apple: Apple is a smart girl. But she's not smart emotionally for the record. She has troubles with recognizing her own feelings at times and she feels awfully guilty for what happened with Marsh, and with what happened to Dough, since there was a distance made by Marsh's allucinations. She didn't end up on good terms with Dough after he got out, and was worried she messed up the friendship she had with him. She values her friends deeply and that shows with Taco too! Taco did everything to look after her!

Silver Spoon: Silver is Knife's brother here, most likely the younger sibling, so they most likely had different enviroments/ways to grow up and see the world. Meanwhile Knife threw himself into his studies and became a pretty smart scientist, Silver had a somewhat darker turn. He was similar to Canon Silver years ago that is, always sure of what he was doing and soft spoken (but not in the way Candle would be), and his main job was and is to help people spiritually. However, one of those jobs ended up terribly, and that led him to have another being inside of his body- The Inner Shine. So him being unstable wasn't helping since this creature was a treat to others and everything you know. But thankfully, Knife was there to help him on that, and was never scared towards The Inner Shine. That helped Silver to recover emotionally from his new situation of some sorts, but then, he had to work on himself to dominate this spirit. And he did. Once he reached peace within himself, he was able to control the spirit at his favor, and the spirit warns him about future events that may occur when he meditates. Nowdays, Silver is charming, dear and soft spoken in a way that actually calms others. He looks up to Knife, and wants to help everyone out, since he knows what it is to be helpless. The color of his quartz would be light blue + cyan instead of purple and pink. He does feel useless if he can't help others, since it's the thing he has been doing the most for years after all. Though Knife tries to cheer him up and say that Silver has to focus on himself instead of others sometimes, but it's still hard. He seems to have low self esteem in a way and self doubts too much. Other than that, he's a good friend and only uses his crystal when it is truly necessary.

Candle: Candle comes from a very high-class family, which means she always got what she wanted too. She's smart but in a way that most people don't like (Taco) and is too full of herself at times. This is mostly because she hasn't really made any "friends" in terms of relationships for most of her life, so she's too out of touch with that. She's sarcastic and likes to tease others, Taco specifically, but even then, unlike Silver in canon, she started to show more frequently that she actually does care about her fellow teammates and contestants. Her friends, to an extent. Mostly thanks to Silver that is. He became her spark in a way. She started to be kinder, in her own way, which would be "a dick but with good intentions". Though she's still full of herself.

But she generally does appreciate her friendships and alliances, she just sucks a lot at emotional stuff and is awkward towards it, but she still tries. However, when Silver was eliminated, she felt guilt. And that started to sink in for her. This is what she wanted, right? So why does she feel sad? That's because, as much as she joked about her not caring for her friends, as much as she could act like an asshole, she missed and loved them deeply. She wishes she could have said anything to Taco and Silver before they were eliminated. She wished she could apologize for the things she said. But now, she's completely alone.

[theghostwife]

Daemon vs. Alicent

So I saw a post on Twitter stating that if Daemon is responsible for Jaehaerys, then Alicent is responsible for Larys killing Harwin and their father and I have so many many thoughts about this. Firstly, I hate that fans of the show constantly attack Alicent. I'm not saying she's a good mother or a good person but blaming her for the acts of the men around her makes little to no sense. Normally, I'd just ignore tweets like this but the parallels I saw could not be ignored and so here I am.

Disclaimer: I'm not going to name the Twitter account I saw. I just don't want them to get attacked or anything.

First of all, their defense of Daemon stems from the fact that we never see him tell B&C to go for anyone else and because those words never left his mouth that we could see, they took it as it's not his fault. However, it was heavily, heavily implied that he did. Cheese asks what should they do if they can't find Aemond. The show allows us to fill in the blanks like we're playing hang-man. The sentence is there, the order is there, we merely need to fill it in.

Then we have his reaction to the news. Did we see surprise on his face? No. Did we see a bit of remorse for a 4-year-old getting killed in place of Aemond? No. He was pleased with the news.

In fact, when Rhaenyra turned to look at him, he was smirking.

He knew exactly what was going to happen and he's happy that at least someone was killed. It didn't matter that Aegon did not send Aemond to kill Lucerys. It did not matter that Jaehaerys is not Aemond's son. It did not matter that Jaehaerys was a child who had no part in the war or conflict. He was collateral damage. Even with all the feelings and expressions of horror around him, including that of Rhaenyra, he did not care.

At least until Rhaenyra spoke to him herself.

When she first confronted him, he says that he sent the Queen's vengeance for her son.

—————————————————————

Rhaenyra: "What did you tell this vengenace? What did you say to him? Daemon? That a boy lies dead and I am accused of killing him."

Daemon: "Mysaria provided me with names and subterfuge. I was clear in my instructions. Aemond, the brother of Aegon the Usurper. I cannot be responsible—"

Rhaenyra: "Cannot be responsible?"

Rhaenyra: "If Aemond was not to be found, what were your instructions then?"

Daemon: "They did not concern in any way that of a little child."

Rhaenyra: "You said it was your aim to spill Hightower blood. If not Aemond, then anyone would do."

—————————————————————

Despite the fact that he denies her accusations, she then goes on to say she doesn't believe him. Then there is this little number.

Now, here they get to the argument of Daemon, his resentment and bitterness that he was passed over as heir for Rhaenyra, and the fact that Aegon now sits on the throne. Even in the book, Daemon hates his nephews solely because they pushed him down the line of succession, so this one sentence here matches up perfectly with how Daemon truly feels.

It wasn't just "revenge" for Luke. It was revenge on the Targtowers, specifically, anyone in their family, any male. The death of Luke, Rhaenyra's declarance just served as a convenient excuse. If Aemond was not to be found, Daemon could have easily told them not to harm anyone else if he truly cared for Rhaenyra and her claim.

On a side note, I think this is really funny considering just before Rhaenyra accused him of using her as an excuse to kill Jaehaerys, she flat-out asked him if she was merely a tool he used to grasp at his stolen inheritance. It seems that in the show, Daemon using her as an excuse has come up more than once. Hell, even Viserys accused him of doing the same. It's just an interesting thing.

Anywho, let's compare this to Alicent and Larys Strong now shall we.

Unlike Daemon who commanded Blood and Cheese to kill Aemond, Alicent gave no such order. She didn't command anyone to be killed, nor did she want anyone to be killed. She merely stated she wanted her father back in King's Landing.

She lamented the fact that there was no one in King's Landing on her side. So what was Larys's response to this?

Larys took her words and acted on his own which resulted in the death of both Harwin and Lyonel. Alicent literally had nothing to do with it so I find it funny that someone compared the two together.

Then they mentioned that an episode later, Alicent rewards him. She wasn't rewarding him. Larys intentionally trapped Alicent with his deeds by stating he did it for her, in her name. If she were to ever expose him for his crimes, all he has to do is say she ordered him to do it in order to have her father back as Hand to the King and he would be believed.

As proof of this, in the next episode, Daemon accuses Alicent of killing Harwin and Lyonel anyway, without much justification other than her and Otto gaining from it. If Daemon thinks this, who else already believes either Alicent or Otto had something to do with it?

Later on in the same episode, Larys once again offered his services and Alicent knew better than to deny him, especially after she attacked Rhaenyra with the dagger, which damaged her reputation with the nobles and Viserys. That was Alicent accepting that she may in fact need his special brand of help later on but it's clear from her face, that she does not want it.

Also, to add to this fact, I think another reason why she said,

—————————————————————

"But your devotion has not gone unnoticed. These are dangerous times. The day will doubtless come when I require such a friend. With not only skill but discretion as well."

is because right before this, Larys subtly offered her the eye of Luke.

"If it's an eye you want to balance the scales, I am your servant."

—————————————————————

So that was her way of leading Larys away from maiming Luke but still allowing him close to her. Alicent with Larys is stuck between a rock and a hard place. This is very evident with him forcing her to sell herself, even if it is just her feet, he gets sexual satisfaction from both her feet and the act of sexual coercion as it gives him power, for basic information.

So the comparison between Daemon with B&C to Alicent and Larys with Harwin & Lyonel is in fact not at all comparable. I'd say that Alicent plays a similar role to Rhaenyra in that aspect and that is the parallel I saw. Saying one thing, making one wish/demand, and having a rogue man take your words, twist them to fit their own intentions and actions, and then say they did it your name while you bear the brunt of blame.

Speaking of the foot scene, this one could be a little different. Larys offers to have Mysaria killed because of her spy network which Otto is aware of but has left in place. Of course, here Alicent knows what will happen and essentially...pays Larys by showing him her feet. It's still an act of sexual coercion but in the end, Alicent says,

—————————————————————

"I assume this task falls within your expertise."

Which Larys responds with,

"If you wish it… it will be done."

—————————————————————

However, I don't think Alicent wanted the entire brothel to be up in flames but we never see her reaction to it, although I have a feeling she could have already known how Larys planned to solve that problem. Nonetheless, had the person on Twitter used that event in particular, it would have been a better comparison.

[aleksanderscult]

(Just to make sure it sent 😂)

What do you think would happen if book!Aleksander and Show!Aleksander met? I know people mostly make jokes and memes (because it’s fun so you can answer on a funny note too) but I’m actually really curious on what would happen if they sat down and were in a room together. Like for at least a few days they were around each other and what they thought of each other.

For some reason when I picture it, I always picture it in an universe/setting/whatever where they (for reasons that don’t matter) came back to life and it’s post-alina and they are telling each other how their version of the story went in it’s completion

You don’t have to answer it that way or picture it that way, but I’m just convinced that you would have the best view on it!

That ask was never sent. wtf?? 😭😭

*tumblr when i catch you 😠*

The funny thing is that I have already a meme of Book!Darkling and show!Darkling in my drafts. I've just never posted it.

For some reason the only place I imagine book!Darkling and show!Darkling meeting is the afterlife (😭).

Book!Darkling: "Who are you?"

Show!Darkling: "I am you"

Book!Darkling: ".....why do you have a beard?"

And if they had a conversation Book!Darkling would just want to slap his show counterpart for sooo many reasons.

Some of them are:

- Why is the show version so emotional all the time??

- Why does he display his emotions in general that easy? Book!Darkling was always trying to remain composed and the moments where he let his true feelings show was either because he was having an emotional upheaval thanks to Alina or Mal or because the situation was serious (the tent scene, the mutiny scene, the name reveal scene etc.)

- Why the HELL did the show version reveal his name that easily?? Throughout his childhood, Aleksander had his mother say to him "Never reveal your name to anyone. Never let them come close" and it's something that he kept. Until Alina came, he fell in love with her and revealed his name to her only after two whole books passed. After deeming her worthy to know it. The Darkling is a secretive person. By having the show version so open to Alina they took away the "mark" that his childhood and Baghra left on him and the beauty and preciousness of the name reveal scene.

- Why is he such a simp? Seriously Book!Darkling would question the identity of the show one. Like "Are you seriously me? Are we sure about it?". To be honest, Book!Darkling was a different kind of simp for Alina. He admired her for who she truly was (a strong, at times merciless woman, that was stubborn and fierce), not for what she thought she was (a girl that cannot handle difficult circumstances but tries anyway 'cause she has to). But even though he admired her for it, he never let it become his whole personality or let it distract him from his one, true goal: the safety of Ravka. Show!Darkling is such a simp that honestly this was his whole personality. This and the "tearing up" thing.

So, generally, I believe he would judge him hard for all of these and question his decisions. For the Book!Darkling is not at all hard to judge someone but it would especially easy to do it with the show version. He would disapprove hard and reject his identity as "the Darkling" 'cause he wouldn't remind him at all of himself.

And, since this ask requires a meme (😌), here's how Book!Darkling would react to his show counterpart's actions:

[aegoneggon]

i was very surprised about alicent in the book and see that she is very different, in personality, from the hotd. can i ask you how different are jacegon's personalities in the book as opposed to the show? i know jacegon were somewhat close as children…. is it the same in the book or is it hotd's own?

Thank you for your question nonnie <3

So it has been a while since I've done a full Fire & Blood reread but I did more recently do a Princess & the Queen + Rogue Prince reread so some of these details might not be 100% accurate.

So as for Jacegon... it is much more of a thing in HOTD than it is in the books. I'd even go out on a limb here and say Jacegon in the book is nonexistent. The age gap between the Targtower kids and the Strong Boys is more pronounced in the books than in the show.

The one Jacegon moment there is to speak of in the books is the Dinner From Hell Scene

Yet late in the evening, after King Viserys had departed (for His Grace still tired easily), Mushroom tells us that Aemond One-Eye rose to toast his Velaryon nephews, speaking in mock admiration of their brown hair, brown eyes...and strength. “I have never known anyone so strong as my sweet nephews,��� he ended. “So let us drain our cups to these three strong boys.” Still later, the fool reports, Aegon the Elder took offense when Jacaerys asked his wife, Helaena, for a dance. Angry words were exchanged, and the two princes might have come to blows if not for the intervention of the Kingsguard.

Now mind you, in this scene, Aegon is nearly 20 years old, Jace is maybe 12/13 years old and Helaena is heavily pregnant with Maelor. . The thought that Aegon would care so much about a 12-year-old wanting to dance with his wife that they nearly get into a fistfight is comical. I'm usually not one to nitpick f&b and say that the events didn't happen but this is one moment I am heavily skeptical of.

I am skeptical of a lot of the Targtower vs Strong Boys stuff that comes up in the books mainly because of the age gap between them.

The sins of the fathers are oft visited on the sons, wise men have said; and so it is for the sins of mothers as well. The enmity between Queen Alicent and Princess Rhaenyra was passed on to their sons, and the queen’s three boys, the Princes Aegon, Aemond, and Daeron, grew to be bitter rivals of their Velaryon nephews, resentful of them for having stolen what they regarded as their birthright: the Iron Throne itself. Though all six boys attended the same feasts, balls, and revels, and sometimes trained together in the yard under the same master-at- arms and studied under the same maesters, this enforced closeness only served to feed their mutual mislike, rather than binding them together as brothers.

I think the rivalry of it all would make sense between Jace and Daeron since they are the same age. But it is hard to buy into it since Daeron is sent to Oldtown and for the most part The Strong Boys live on Dragonstone. In the show, it seems Rhaenyra lived in KL up until Joffrey was born. In the books, Rhaenyra peaces out of KL after Luke is born. It is hard for me to believe that a rivalry could be fed between the two factions' children when they aren't even in the same place. Also, how could they all be studying and training together given the age gaps? Why would a much older Aegon be studying with Jace who is significantly younger?

I think a lot of the resentment did start after the Aemond eye incident but it's hard to tell how much it was Aemond vs The Strong Boys or If it truly was TargTowers vs Strong Boys.

[theelderhazelnut]

Baldur’s Gate 3

Warning: none

Pairings: Ombra x Astarion

Characters: Ombra (my oc), Astarion, Gale

Summary: Ombra, a metal bender, is merely tolerating her new companions because she has other plans in her mind. One of these people disgust her to the core, but her depressed soul eventually find him “lovely”. Her busy, calculated mind can finally rest for one night. But does this vampire deserve her love truly?

Author’s note: Yay my first fic for BG3! I may post more drabbles like this untill I start posting the whole story of Ombra! I really love how these two work out together. Extroverted, charming boyfriend x introverted, also charming girlfriend.

Taglist: @vivilovespink @scentedcandleibex @darialovesstuff @confidentandgood @spacestephh @cyberneticsanguinaire @inafieldofdaisies @carlosoliveiraa @shegetsburned @bloody-arty-myths @zoetheneko @hi-thisiszira @admin-pipes @mitsuko-saito @malewifefirestar @krysta-cross @huepazu @cassietrn @breakfwest @nightbloodbix @middlechildwhoescapedthebasement @ninibear3000 @cyb3r-v4l @sinclxirx @gavincruikshanksexhusband @voidika @orbitinytheworld (writing taglist is here to be added/removed)

Out there around the camp, the fire was burning in my death; the death of my soul actually. The thick fabric of my tent was strong enough to shelter me for a while until I get rid of my stupid “companions”. Astarion, however, was the most stupid of them all.

I pushed away the fabric slightly to peeked at his tent which was a few meters away from mine. The gentle light of a lantern dimly lit his private place. He was awake; probably reading or taking notes. His voice rang in my ear.

“Even your spirit is of iron. I like that.”

I would be in a much more peaceful state of mind if he would shut his mouth for five minutes. But the more I explored in my heart, the more I realized that I would miss hearing his voice, his rich British accent, and the way his crimson eyes flamed with naughtiness.

I am always direct with my emotions. I either love someone to death, or I don’t even flinch if they are tortured in front of me. But my mind was beginning to be confused about him. At first, I loathed him just like how I felt about everybody else around me. He was no different. He was just a regular talkative, narcissistic, immature person who believed each and every one of his opinions were valuable.

But now, I couldn’t forget about the way his pale eyebrows rested, and his smile became true when he witnessed my monotone tone become a bit harsher when I was lol easily annoyed by others. When I pushed them away, and gave structres for our next move with a permanent glare on my face. And when I don’t seem to be bothered by the death of our companions.

If my calculations weren’t bteraying me, I would say that Astarion understood me, deeply. His guesses were seemingly right about the real person I was beneath these twenty layers of defense. This real person was as harsh as my outer facade, just even weirder.

I heard him stepping out of his tent, and I immediately closed the fabric door.

My heart raced in my chest.

I listened closely. His footsteps were approaching untill they stopped near the fire place.

“If it wasn’t for her analysis skills, I would not hesitate to throw her out of our way.” Gale whispered.

My lips curved donwards into a smirk.

“We owe her all this information we have gained untill now. Also, her presense is quite an entertainment for me.”

“Your opinion about her seems to be altering, Astarion.”

I didn’t hear him expressing anything as a response, istead he walked towards my tent. Quickly but silently, I crawled to my sheets, pretending to be asleep. A few moments passed after what seemed to be hours, untill I felt him sitting beside me. He didn’t say a single word, but his gaze weighed heavy on my figure.

“Are you asleep?” He murmured softly.

“…no… .” I replied with my eyes closed.

“So, may I?”

I opened my eyes to make sure he was not about to kiss me. Astarion gestured to my side.

“You may.” I crossed my arms, watching him getting comfortable next to me. He lied down on his side, and rested his head on his palm to hold it up.

“I couldn’t sleep either.” Slowly, he reached out his hand towards my face, and once he was not rejected, he shoved a wavy strand behind my ear. I wanted to grab his hand and keep it there, telling him how much I enjoyed this little act of affection. But instead I hid behind my stone face and kept glaring at him.

“Why?” I asked.

“Well, I was thinking about some certain things.” His voice trailed off as his eyes roamed down my body.

I kept looking at him, silently seeking explanation.

“Can I ask you something?” His grin faded away “Would you please don’t abandon us?” The blue cloud of sadness shadowed over his usually sunny gaze.

I raised my eyebrows in concern. “Who said I’m going to leave?”

“I am well aware that you are only tolerating this…” He searched for the right word. “…this companionship. I see that you are constantly looking forward to the tiniest chance to separate your way.” He put his hand on my shoulder.

“Stay with me, Atoosa. Please.”

My heart melted once Astarion called me by my real name instead of “Ombra”; a nickname so widely used by people that it had almost replaced the real one. It was just a simple Persian name untill he said it, and it was the most soothing lullaby.

And he just begged me to stay by his side not because he needed my iron bending powers and strategic mind, but because he’d miss me. Myself.

I frowned. “Why do you care?”

His eyes widened in shock. “We-well I am very sorry that I have found beauty in you! In your terrifying manners! In the way you don’t care about anything but your own goals! I am very sorry that I love you!”

My heart forgot to beat for a second. I did not trust my own ears. Astarion knew very well how to get what he wants by mere words. He knew how to fold those words in golden paper and sell it to you.

“Not all of your actions agree with that, Astarion. I’m not here to play your game.”

Suddenly, a large hand grabbed my jaw firmly, and forced me to look at him straight into the eyes. They were burning with anger and desperation.

“How many more days do I have to claw at any chances to save you from danger? How much more do I have to watch you from afar? How many nights do I have to stay wide awake horrified that you might leave us tomorrow? We two resemble more than you think.” Astarion closed his eyes and sighed deeply, loosening his grip around my jaw. “My apologies, darling.” He kissed where his fingers were pressed to although I did not feel any pain.

I leaned in and attached my lips to his. They were soft and cold. My heart beat blasted in my head as he kissed me back. The warmth of his mouth dropped on the dry skin of mine. Perhaps this time it was better to trust my heart, and let it rule over my exhausted brain. He was the angel to sew the bloodied feathers of my broken wings. He was the one on whose shoulders I could lean my head and sigh all my pain out without scaring him away.

I loved him.

“How can I just forget about you and run off?” I whispered.

Astarion chuckled, magnetising even more blood to my cheeks. “Ah, I knew you had a heart somewhere deep in your chest.”

I smiled. Astarion was the ray of sunshine through the thick clouds gaurding my heart.

All of a sudden, life was saturated with colors. I found joy in it.

For the first time in a long while, Astarion reminded me what happiness felt like.

[dedicatednotobsessed]

Bound in Fire and Blood [Aemond Targaryen x Reader]

Previous chapter || Series masterlist || Other HOTD stories

Summary: You are the younger twin sister of Aemond Targaryen and the second youngest child to King Viserys and Queen Alicent. Growing up you were extremely close to your twin brother, practically inseparable and as you continued to grow, you realized your feelings for him were more than just a sibling love….

TRIGGER WARNING: This is a story of incest (obviously, it’s Game of Thrones). It contains strong depictions of sexual content and blood. Please read at your own risk.

Warnings in this chapter: Has mentions of prolonged alcohol abuse and a stillborn child. Also contains mentions of suicide by poison.

Chapter Thirteen: First of her Name

Gif doesn’t belong to me 💚

You had named your son Vanar before you had to prepare him for his burial, his body burning from Revnass’ flames. Every time you looked at your daughter, whom you’ve named Vhaenys, you could not help but feel the guilt boiling within your stomach. Part of you believed the death of your son was because of the crime you committed against the gods. Possibly if Vanar was Aegon’s son, he would have most likely lived.

You stood on the balcony of your personal chambers, Vhaenys sleeping soundly inside. You looked down at your cup of wine with furrowed brows before downing the nearly full goblet. Along with the loss of your son, you have taken up an unhealthy obsession of drinking. You were hoping the wine was to take the pain you felt away.

You turned towards the room when you drank the rest of your wine, furrowing your brows once you heard the door open. No one has particularly disturbed you as of late apart from Eleanah and the wet nurses to take care of the babe.

“Now you decide to come visit your grieving wife?”

“Eleanah was concerned about your drinking,” Aegon said softly looking down at the pot of wine that was nearly empty.

“And so you came on Eleanah’s accord instead of your own?” You scoffed, emptying the pot into your cup, looking up at your husband. “You are the last one to discuss another’s drinking habits.”

Aegon looked over you, a frown on his lips as he watched down the cup easily. He took a deep breath and turned away. “I just wanted to check on you, Y/N.”

“Can you not tell?” You laughed a bit. “I am quite all right.”

“No, you are not,” Aegon said with narrowed eyes.

“How would you know?” You snapped. “Ever since our children were born, you have been in Fleabottom with whichever whore will fuck you.” Your words were a bit slurred as you walked closer to your husband. “That night our son passed, you went straight to your whores. You do not understand what I am going through.”

Aegon frowned, shaking his head. “You do not know how I feel,” He stated, keeping a distance from you. “I had to hear that our son did not survive through the door because you would not let me in the room!” He rose his voice a bit causing Vhaenys to whimper. “I have tried time and time again since the birth of our children to be with you, yet all you want to do is push me away. You are either in here alone or you are with Aemond.”

You stared at him, furrowing your brows. “You act as though you care but I know you do not,” You whispered.

“What?” Aegon asked, feeling the tears pricking his eyes. “I do care. I have always cared about you, Y/N, ever since we were children.”

You shook your head a bit. “I bet that you would have rather let Vhaenys die so you could have an heir,” You said bluntly.

Aegon’s violet eyes turned dark as he suddenly grabbed you by the chin. “Shut your fucking mouth,” He spat with narrowed eyes.

Your gaze stayed on his as Vhaenys’ loud cries rang out through the chambers. You pulled away from your husband and walked over, looking down at your daughter. She was but a moon old and it still hurt to even look at her.

You could not understand what the pain was from whether it was from losing your son or if you were truly being punished for your adultery. You have never expressed your fears to Aegon, afraid he would catch on and in fact know that you had gone behind his back and married your lover in the eyes of the Targaryen gods.

You felt the tears well your eyes as you stared at Vhaenys, the babe calming under a High Valyrian lullaby. You slowly laid her down in her cradle, wiping at your eyes. Shortly after the birth of your children you often thought how easy it would be to end your life to be with your son. You had dreamed of taking the poison known as sweetsleep; to close your eyes and never wake again. You knew though your daughter still needed you, for now at least.

Aegon watched you carefully, his bottom lip quivering when you turned to him. “Do you care about me?” He asked suddenly.

You furrowed your brows, your face being red from all the alcohol you have consumed. “What, Aegon? Are you mad?”

“Maybe I am,” He said as a few tears fell from eyes. “I have always been second to Aemond. You have never once chosen me.” Aegon looked down while laughing a bit. “You do not know how I feel, Y/N, and you never will.”

You frowned a bit as you watched your husband storm out after a moment and let out a sigh. You knew he was correct, not understanding being someone’s second choice. Although Aegon often slept with whores or took the maidenhood of handmaidens, he always tried to choose you first. You never returned what love he had for you though, always running to your second husband for company.

“Vhaenys is quite a strong name,” Viserys said with a small chuckle, smiling down at the babe in your arms. As your father’s condition worsened, you had visited him more and more in his chambers.

You sat across from your father, lightly patting your daughter on the back. You smiled softly while nodding. “Yes, after Vhagar,” You said quietly.

“Ah, yes.” Viserys coughed while he laughed. “I assume Aegon is not fond of the name?”

“He had no other choice.”

“Where is Aegon anyway?”

You sighed softly. “I assume in the street of silk where he has been spending most of his time as of late.”

Viserys sighed softly while nodding. “The maester has informed me you have requested sweetsleep,” He said softly after a moment.

You furrowed your brows a bit, your eyes staying on your daughter as you stroked her cheek lightly, the plump girl just staring up at you with big widened eyes. “I have requested it, yet he did not want to give it to me,” You admitted closing your eyes with a sigh.

“It is because he noticed how unhinged you have become since the birth.”

You felt the tears form your eyes at your father’s words, yet you knew it was true. “I have not been getting well enough sleep and I only wanted to take it to calm myself.”

You opened your eyes when your father took your right hand, feeling the tear roll down your cheek. Sleepsweet did help one to sleep unless one were to take three doses.

“I understand, sweet one, what pain you are in,” Your father said quietly. “And if you ever want to talk, you can always come to me.”

You smiled lightly and nodded when he squeezed your hand gently. Often when you were a child, you and Helaena would come to see your father and sit on his bed for hours. Whether the three of you were talking, or listening to tales; you had a bond with your father that you did not share with your mother. Your mother was always the one to watch over you, yet it was not the same when you were with your father.

“Thank you father,” You said softly and slowly stood up, helping him. You led him to the bed and carefully leaned down after he laid down kissing the top of his head. “I love you, father,” You said with a soft smile on your lips.

“I love you too, my sweet one.”

❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈

You let out a soft sigh, laying your daughter down after you had bid Helaena goodnight. You lightly placed your hand on the cradle, looking over at the silver colored egg that was by her head. It was from Revnass’ clutch, her first one.

You took a deep breath walking over to the fresh pot of wine after a moment. You had asked for one more although Eleanah was concerned that it was your fourth full one for the day.

“Come,” You called quietly hearing the knock, assuming it was Aegon coming to bid you goodnight. You glanced up with furrowed brows at the sight of Aemond. Since the birth, you had not seen much of him, believing he was partially to blame for the death of Vanar.

“You did not come to my chambers,” Aemond spoke up softly, clasping his hands in front of him.

You sighed, a bit annoyed as you took a sip of your wine. “And what of it?”

He looked over you with a concerned look. You had never given much of a snapping attitude towards him, although Aemond has rubbed off on you over the years. Your mother often commented on how you used to be a sweet girl and she believed Aemond to have corrupted you. You knew though if your mother were to truly want to get you away from your twin, she wouldn’t have married you off to Aegon.

“You have not been to my chambers in a moon’s time since the birth….”

“You can always find your company in a whore, my dear brother,” You spat with a small laugh, downing the cup. “But you have always preferred mine it seemed,” You added with a frown, staring down into your empty cup, little droplets of wine sitting at the bottom.

Aemond sighed softly as he stepped closer, frowning when you stepped back a bit. “Y/N….”

“Because of you I have lost my son!” You suddenly shouted, the tears already slipping down your cheeks. “Because of you the gods have punished me!”

“You have had enough….” Aemond tried to reach the cup but you pulled back with a fire in your violet eyes, something that had surprised your twin. He had never seen your eyes turn so dark.

“It is your fault that Aegon does not have an heir, Aemond,” You growled out.

“Vanar would not have been Aegon’s heir to begin with. The same goes for Vhaenys never being his daughter,” He stated, his voice deathly calm.

You clenched your jaw and threw the goblet at him suddenly, the cup hitting his chest. “You cursed me!” You choked back a sob, the tears pouring now. “You cursed me,” You whimpered out.

“Then why did you seek me out?” Aemond asked suddenly, walking close to you with his eye narrowed. “Why did you marry me?” He grabbed onto your arm and pulled you close.

“Because I love you!” You cried, staring into his eye. “Yet, my love for you came with a curse.” You yanked your arm away, sniffling as you turned your back towards your second husband. You stared down at your daughter, frowning.

“I want you out,” You whispered after a moment, crossing your arms. “We need to keep our distance from each other,” You said softly, your heart breaking at those words.

Aemond looked over you, frowning. He could feel the emotions seeping through yet he did not say anything as he turned and left. He glanced to Eleanah who had the chambers door a crack as she waited to enter before he sighed and turned down the hall, his face turning red as he held back his tears.

{tagged readers: ✨ @mrsdaemontargaryen ✨|| @50svibes || @alexandra-001 || @ateliefloresdaprimavera || @bellameshipper || @billihill || @bregarc || @bubblebuttwade || @chiyausu || @chosogb || @clairacassidy || @claudie-080102 || @daddysfavoritesexkitten || @darylandbethfanforever9 || @derzauberermitlilabademantel || @eddies-bat-tattoos || @hansensunshine || @hhjhbhh || @highexpectationsgurl || @kaitieskidmore1 || @ladybug0095 || @lady-stark-winter-rose || @l1-l4 || @mendes-bae || @mirandastuckinthe80s || @m00n5t0n3 || @multitargaryen || @muthafuckingstargirl || @neenieweenie || @princessmiaelicia || @riddlewithanxiety || @sakuramadae || @thegirlwithoutaname87 || @watermel0nsugarhigh || @whenmypartysover || @xcharlottemikaelsonx || @yckaar || @zgzgzh }

[nerdyenby]

Orange time :D I’m watching Jojo

TOASTER!!!!!! :DD

Jojo wanting to get Pearl her first win <33

Watching people study ace race is such an experience

Owen be well rested, well fed, and well moisturized and Jojo just being… fine… lol

Jojo’s comms are so iconic and for what

Wait I didn’t realize Owen was pg lmao

This team’s sot is going to be legendary

“I will do anything for everyone” my streamer’s a team player <33

Stupid bodies trying to keep us alive, smh

AIMSEY!!!!! :D

Nooooo Olliegamerz D:

This team top three EASILY come on guys

“Jojo, how would you describe me as a sandkeeper” best in the business baby!!!!

Pocket sand???? Omg genloss reference 👀 /hj

Nooooo purpled D:

It’s so fun seeing so many contestants just coincidentally fighting to the death in water fight

“Turns out all you had to do to make skybattle my favorite game is remove fall damage, remove armor, and remove swords” “-and give everyone guns” “and give everyone guns!!”

“Orange is my name, orange is my game. Get your daily dose of vitamin C”

WHERE ARE YOUR PRONOUNS AIMSEY /j /lh

“Say that I’m giving birth because I am pushing” AIMEEEEE 😭😭😭

“They ‘said what are you wearing’” “Do you want me to kill them?” Jojo that one meme fr

Jojo being ready and willing to kill transphobes is so ally of her

Did Jojo just get two aces back to back??????? And not even bat an eye???? Queen shit

Pearl accidental igl arc, everyone listening to everyone she says as gospel, as they should

This team is so <33333

Aimsey being so excited that they still have their crown is so <3

“I’ve just won, I’ve had one glass on wine, I’m with Pearl, I’m having a beautiful time today” Aimsey’s living xeir best life!!

It’s the smallest thing, but Owen using “they” for Aimsey when he’s not in the call can be something so personal

They’re so funny and for what

“MCC reminds me that time is always passing” SAME

Rocket Spleef

The vocal stimming is strong with this one

Freinds who lose together stay together ig 😂

Owen popping off!!!

False appreciation hour :))

Hole in the Wall

Their comms are so good!!!

These walls do feel trickier but it might just be the map, idk

Aimsey’s popping off!! 4th!!!!!!

This team is so well balanced, they’re wild

Skybattle

I love this team so much, they’re simultaneously chill and stressed but like in a fun way

That border is so fast what

JOJO OH MY GOSH!!!!! /pos

Aimsey is such a good hypeman :))

TWELVE KILLLLLLLSSSSSSS

Can’t believe she’s the only person ever <333

Jojo and Ran <333

Meltdown

Pearl taking charge my beloved :))

“Pearl, you’re my hero” so true Jojo!!!

Aimsey going absolutely wild!!!!

I figured it out!!!! This team is super good at listening to each other, they keep comms clear while having good banter. The respect they have for each other both as players and as people is so evident in how they talk to and treat each other and it’s just so <333

Omg that was so silly of them

“That was kinda funny” “It was kinda funny” so true!!!

Aimsey is so freaking funny and for what, their humor is so under appreciated

THATS MY TEAM!!!!! LOOK AT THEM GO!!!!!!!

“I feel very safe in Pearl’s guidance�� Owen’s so real for that, honestly

Jojo’s screams when Aimsey fell were so /pos

Them shouting at Jojo to go in without them

“All my friends are dead 😢” lol

OWEN AND PEARL!!!!!!

Them hyping each other up and being so happy for each other up means everything

“I’m gonna go kiss my girlfriend, be right back” “okay, alright, go brag about it” they’re everything, actually

Jojo thanking Pearl for being igl and telling her how good a job she did <333

This team is just so soft and encouraging and trusting, I love them so much you guys

Aimsey truly is the swiftie of all time

Battle Box

Strategy time :))

Jojo getting hard targeted rip

Good round against purple there!!!

This map is very rough, even when watching teams that are doing well it still feels bad a lot of the time

Double trouble is over now, it can’t hurt you anymore

“I’m so close to writing a twitlonger about that map” Aimsey my beloved lmao

“If we skip sands of time I’m babyraging, I’m saying this now” “Babyraging? I’m full on raging, I don’t even care” my streamers are so based

Ace Race

I love Aimsey so much you guys

Jojo and Owen top 3 and 4?!?!!!!!

First and second?!!??!!! Orange 33 supremacy!!!!!!!

Pearl’s little giggle at Owen’s pun killed me actually /pos

Pete appreciation hour <333

“ASSHOL- I mean… butthole” nice save

That exact tie is wild tho

“Bottom ten” “or: top thirty” Owen my beloved

Aimsey popping off!!! Don’t be hard on yourself king, you’re killing it <33

“The M in MCC stands for misogynist” Aimsey is the funniest person on the planet actually

Grid Runners

Best game time :))

Owen being so excited to learn new minecraft mechanics is so /pos

They’re so smooth with it!!!!

This run is a piece of art holy crap

That redstone room kinda got them but they figured it out really well considering I don’t think any of them are super familiar with redstone

Oh my gosh their running commentary of the score breakdown was so freaking funny

Punctuation matters lmao

“Hold on, I’m just gonna- dear Taylor Swift, please may we play sands of time today, amen” AIMSEY

Sands of Time

Owen, hon, it’s eleven and it does not matter /lh

Aimsey is such a good sandkeeper you guys

Incredible comms, amazing vibes, I love them so much

“No worries… a little bit worried, but it’s ok” I love Owen

NOOOOOOOOO SO CLOSEEEEEE

They did so good tho ;-;

Pearl 21st individual!!! That’s my girl!!!!

Owen and Pearl synchronized reassurance <333

Dodgebolt

“All the glory, none of the pressure” so true Owen

“We consistently defied expectations” MCC Reddit is sexist as hell, I predicted y’all third because I’m always right and have never been wrong ever /hj

“I don’t know who I need to bribe to get Aimsey as a sandkeeper again but I would- I would sell my house” OWEN BASED

Aimsey getting the appreciation they deserve 💗💕💗💗💕💕💗💕💗💗💕💗💗

I entirely thought Aimsey said captain crunch lmao

Ok I don’t like Sapnap for several reasons (rancid vibes, toxic as hell, bffs with a racist and a groomer) and I’m not a fan of Punz either but Ponk being the first Black player to win MCC is huge and also disgusting that it’s taken 33 events, so happy for them and Gumi too <3

This team was amazing, I love them so much

Pearl I love you so much, please be kind to yourself, you’re incredible and don’t be hard on yourself <333

Oli and Jojo are everything, actually

“I want proof of one person who put you guys low” “Callum put us in 8th!!” “Callum is stupid, bro!!!!” Cpk slander is never not funny to me, I love that guy but he’s a fool /pos

[hellcatinnc]

Bungo Stray Dogs Season 1 Anime Review

Does Include Spoilers....

Ok so I started watching Bungo Stray Dogs and like most I started because of Dazai. He was sexy and even with his wish for suicide he just got to me. Then I watched the first season and was so happy I did it pulled me in fast. Dazai quickly lost the main reason for the show for me it honestly became my favorite character in first season being Atsushi Nakajima. He had so much heart and compassion that the rest lost so long ago. He made me feel as he learned who he was and who he could help. I grew a strong liking to the character and even shipped him with Kyōka Izumi the way he saved her and even the fact he took her on a date they were just too adorable not to love. Ranpo Edogawa caught my interest mainly cause the voice actor Hiroshi Kamiya who played Baldr Hringhorni in Kamigami No Asobi. I was really surprised that Doppo Kunikida even grew on me and his comedian side to him of how he was with Dazai and always knocking the crap out of him but I could tell he was a good man. Anyways Kunikida's power is pretty cool "The Matchless Poet". I love how he can throw the cards out and whatever it is appears. I also think him and Dazai work so great together.

Now don't get me wrong Osamu Dazai is still a big part of the show and I found it funny how he was about the whole suicide with a beautiful woman. It left me wondering why he wanted to die so much but I know its shown as the seasons go on cause I started season 2 already and already starting to understand but I will leave that in season 2 review of it. So the relationship between Jun'ichirō Tanizaki & Naomi Tanizaki was so weird at first but fuck it I didn't even care they were siblings because not only do you easily forget but they don't look alike at all I feel like maybe there is like an adoption kinda story to them maybe. Anyways you know early on their is not only a relationship with them but its also sexual. However when she almost gets killed the way he responds to losing her and later as well he doesn't get even as a brother he gets even as a lover so I'm gonna treat them just as that fuck it, its not like sibling loves bother me much in anime/otome world. Plus not gonna lie Jun'ichiro his power "Light Snow" is pretty damn neat.

Yukichi Fukuzawa seems like a stickler in the beginning but you find he truly believes in his team and he grew on me. I felt like he cares about each and everyone of them and will fight for them at any cost. He is practically Daddy to them all and I think they would fall apart sometimes if he wasn't the lead of it all. Chūya Nakahara seems to be a cool character but of course I feel like he isn't really a main in the first season however I find him actually pretty attractive as well but I swear its how he dresses more than anything its so damn sharp looking. He gives me that true mafia/yakuza feel to how he looks and dresses. He seems to have anger issues but I love his banter between him and Dazai however I don't see this romance so many want and like. I will pass for now both men are hot and I would gladly be in between these men could make a very interesting smut story thats for sure... lol.

Michizō Tachihara seems like a crazy fuck but still pretty cool character so far based on the first season at least, look forward to seeing him more later he has my attention at least. Even though Ryūnosuke Akutagawa is an asshole in the first season he has one of the coolest powers by far his Rashōmon power like a dragon like creature that he can cut people down easily with. I feel bad for Ichiyō Higuchi because you find fast she is so damn in love with that man and he treats her like pure crap however doesn't stop her from taking on the enemies to bring him back when he is captured. The one sentimental moment where he grabs her hand after she saves him I really wanted after he told her he was sorry I wanted her to tell him she loved him I wonder if it would have changed. I feel like his issue is he doesn't even see her following to him is because she loves him. However its a very toxic relationship at least first season, I just hope it gets better because I think they would be good together plus bad guy or not he is fuckin hot too. Speaking of Ichiyō Higuchi honestly girl has some balls and she will do anything even die for that man I can respect her because she probably could have gotten out from what you get from her but she refuses to leave his side. Gin Akutagawa I still don't know much about him but still seems mysterious and attractive cause of that.

After breaking down the people that all made it interesting for me, yes I know there is more these just happen to be my list of favorites. Still amazes me a show with alot of hot bad guys kinda reminds me of Piofiore in that sense. Anyways I feel like it brings a decent amount of action however every part doesn't have to have it which I really like since I normally don't watch ones that are too heavy on it. I love Dazai's power and how he can hush any of the others with his power practically neutralizing even some of the worst bad guys. I still don't see anyone being gay and I will stand by that and I'm ok because seriously too many hot guys for me to even think about them together I would rather think about them being straight makes it easier to fantasize about them then. Overall I would gladly recommend this to anyone whether your into otome and shoujo the most I think you could still like this if nothing but the comedy side of things. I look forward to the next upcoming seasons as I catch up I will write my review on each season.

[distopea]

"I swore you alligence to you for this mission, Lady Sybille."

And while the night had fallen upon them, and the days spent as her knight had passed by, Esekiel remained loyal to the words he had given to her. He would defend her in altercations, tend to those who sought to cause harm and be of assistance whenever needed, even if it was a double edged sword. Did he offer his presence for the night solely for her, or partially himself?

Did he, like everyone else, long for a warm body?

On his feet, he towered over her, a hand raising to meet with the side of her cheek. There was still somewhat of a distance between them, enough for him to take in her appearance ( she didn't resemble Her, this face was different, and yet... ). " Ask me to lay with you, and I will gratefully do so ; I will hold you no differently, I will serve as the knight that was entrusted with your safety."

Gently, his large hand covered her cheek, another rising up by the side of her thigh, brushing upwards. Hooked to his fingers, tagging along, was whatever fabric that covered her body; what did she look like beneath it all, the role she partook in as his commander? And what would she feel like where she to drape her arms around his neck, legs around his waist?

"Lady Sybille," Esekiel stated again, this time bringing their bodies closer. Her warmth caused heart to race, hands to grow uneasy, tempted to pick her up and have her in this very place. But he chose not to indulge in such animalistic urges, it wouldn't be right of him (yet). "My sword and body is yours, say the word and I will make sure you are left satisfied."

@avaere

Despite it all… His words were true. She was more than cruel and childish, pushing boundaries and biting, her temper definitely impetuous, but mostly because she had always wanted to prove something. She was eager to show how much no one could ever stay by her side, her greed and pettiness unmatching this eternal loneliness. No one was strong enough to endure the vagaries of the Duchess, and yet, Esekiel had not failed his mission yet. It was both entertaining and vividly bothersome. 

She looked at him, devoting himself one more time to her cause, and that after another of her tantrums. She could mock him, insult him, he wasn’t leaving her side, and that remarkably stupid stamina began to crumble those walls. She eyed him like a vicious little cat, her claws ready yet to slice another scratch deep inside his flesh, as he seemed so unbothered and resisting her endless torments. 

“How very kind and pleasant of you to remind yourself of your place, Esekiel. Perhaps I should have named you parrot, so you would fit the description. Always eager to repeat yourself and the vows you have proclaimed. I know perfectly who you serve, knight. But you're truly getting ahead of yourself tonight. Scandalous and filthy rat.” She said bitterly, yet, when he approached her, she almost quivered. 

The contact of his skin with her cheeks electrified her entire body. Her pettiness wanted to bite again, but Sybille loved the attention and definitely adored his courting. It was despicable to believe that a girl of her rank could lie with a ruffian like him, moreover, when he was the one begging to lie with her… But the temptation was definitely too intense. Her brown eyes softened, but her features betrayed her lustful intentions. She had always thought he had a great body… She had imagined more than once how he would feel between her parted legs. Her father would be scandalized… And the kingdom? Well, she wasn’t living to be sacralized either. She wasn’t her perfect sister after all. 

“Surely, I have no doubt you can use every sword in your possession, can't you, Esekiel?” Sybille asked, giving no resistance when she was so easily pulled against him. He seemed eager; she was thrilled. She slowly slid her finger onto his armored forearm, gently heading down, until she took a step backward. “You know how much I will take you at your word. You promised not to leave until I’m satisfied, and I intend to face a man of his word.”

Gently, Sybille began to pull on the laces of her corset, offering her back to Esekiel with an elegant spin. “Come now… Show me how much you’re devoted to me or leave the kingdom like a beggar tomorrow.” She invited, her eyes giving no interpretation to what she wanted right now. 

[boundinparchment]

Of Blood and Sparks - XI

Karina Alexandre of Fontaine lost her position, her family, and her Archon's favor. A dead Electro Vision is her mark of guilt. A reminder to never fail again. Faith shattered, and suspicious of the Fatui, she eventually makes her way to Liyue, where she encounters a certain funeral parlor consultant. Little does she know it's only the beginning. Original character centric; eventual Zhongli/OC. Posted originally at @chevalier-of-fontaine. ArchiveOfOurOwn || FF.net || Karina's profile

Wangsheng held a long-standing history of efficiency while honoring tradition and the wishes of the dead.  As such, his work for Master Hu out in Guili Plains was completed within a day.  It was a simple affair, a burial with traditional prayer.  A thank you to Rex Lapis and the invocation of the Goddess of Dust for a peaceful passing.

Guizhong.  They were never truly apart, even with one of them beyond the mortal coil.

When the final patch of dirt was filled in, he listened to the family and imparted kind words.  It was what she would have done, what she demonstrated that very first day they met.  Her kind and gentle guidance was one of the few intangible pieces of her presence in his life and he tried to pass it along as frequently as he could in his role with the funeral parlor.

He headed to his first destination, one of many over the next week or so.  The beginning of a farewell tour, he supposed, although not without some final touches. 

His last contract as Morax was officially signed.

If he was to do this, it needed to be done properly.

Despite his best efforts, many of ancient Liyue’s remnants were forgotten, ruined by Treasure Hoarders and time itself.  Inventory needed to be taken, tasks managed and delegated to the respective parties, both related to the well-being of his nation and of his plans.  

He was one of the last who remembered long after Iminsul’s records changed, after the Nails impaled the land to eradicate what could not be easily erased.  Who else would take care of these things?  The Adepti had retreated long ago and many modern mortals did not believe in the importance of upkeep of ancient structures.

Zhongli neared the first set of ruins on his journey, overlooking Luhua Pool.  He fought off what enemies he needed to as he reconciled the past with the present.  Walls had long crumbled away, staircases toppled, and precious valuables were picked clean centuries ago.  When he reached the outline of what was once a war room and gazed out over the crisp blue water, his shoulders finally relaxed.  The wards above her Domain held, even now.

A single Glaze Lily overlooked the cliff.  Given the early hours of the morning, the bloom had closed itself to guard against the strong rays of the sun.  The bulb swayed slightly, as if aware it was no longer alone.

His first contract was struck here, contrary to popular interpretation.  She had been compelling, his Goddess of Dust, and they both wanted to protect their people.  

It was later modified at her request.  He could never have denied her the title of wife.

“Am I doing the right thing?” He murmured to the wind.  “I cannot help but feel selfish in my exhaustion.”

His hair fluttered in a slight breeze.  Zhongli hoped it was not Barbatos deciding now was a good time for a joke.  He knelt and reached out a gentle finger to caress the leaves, careful not to disturb the plant too much.

“It has been a long six millenia.  Almost half of them have been without you, a reality I never expected to come to pass.  And it is impossible to wonder if I am not abandoning my people, our people, for the sake of finally throwing off the yoke I chose to bear.  Is it not my duty to watch them, guide them, to tire myself for their well-being?  Because I am very tired, dearest, of wondering just when my work will be done.”

He couldn’t help but think of that rainy day.   In the crowded thoroughfare, a merchant appraised the tasks at hand and then, quite pleased, told his workers their duties were finished.  Had he, too, finished his duties for the people of Liyue?

Karina’s presence later that day was a welcome distraction from the sorrow and anxiety that welled up inside him.  She, too, was more than she appeared to be; their parting conversation only solidified the notion.  

“Work will always need to be done; of that much, I am certain.  But does it have to be under the title of Morax or Rex Lapis?  The Qixing may be ready, finally, but I fear they are not yet up to the task.  Ningguang is respected in her power but ambitious, building herself a palace in the sky; perhaps Keqing and Ganyu are the correct counterbalances necessary...I will not know until the time is right.

“Mortals have come so far, after all.  The foundation we laid for them has been built upon in ways neither of us imagined.  We gave them safety, taught them what we could.  They have explored and expanded, discovered and invented.  Modern mortals have brought new meaning to the world.  They question, wonder, critically assess all they can.  

“So many of them shoulder their burdens and continue on, despite their pain.  One of them...I cannot help but admire.  For all her suffering, she has overcome much.  Although one cannot help but wonder what kind of circumstances result in a severed connection of an element but not the loss of the Vision’s power.  It would be easy to grant her a new one but Baal is uncooperative as of late.  And I am afraid this mortal would resent me for it, perhaps for reasons I have not yet considered.  I cannot know what it is to be severed from one’s element.  But I do know her pain of loss; if it is even a fraction of the agony I have known…”

Zhongli swallowed thickly.  The gaping wound of loss never left, merely scabbed over.  Erosion was common for those like him.  Yet his memories were crystal clear as he recalled the one who taught him to sing to the flowers and to care for humans.  She was vivid in his mind, the one who helped him understand them, the one who strategized and invented great tools of protection for their people.

Many friends had come and gone in his rule as Rex Lapis.  But Guizhong was more than a friend and a partner on the battlefield.

To know this pain was to know one of the world’s truest cruelties.  

“I want to help others without bearing the title of God.  She is not you, nor do I seek to replace you.  But she is one of the few who makes me feel a little less alone for the time I remain.”

The blue bulb, as blue as the waters that surrounded her domain, swayed again of its own accord, the wind still.  He recalled that day when he came across her figure in Dihua Marsh, heard her sing to the flowers around them.  The tune was more beautiful than the twittering of birds and the rhythmic hum of the frogs and crickets.  

Zhongli removed his gloves, golden fingers returning to the flower’s stem for a moment, before cupping the closed flower.  He closed his eyes and for a moment, he wasn’t touching a flower at all, but a figure with light brown hair and light azure eyes, an exact match for her beloved blooms.  His Goddess of Dust, gone too soon.

“I cannot be hasty about this decision, bǎobèi.  I only wish you were here to help guide me.”

If only she could see the world as it was now.  What would she make of everything?  He wondered if she would, like he chose to, walk among their people?  

Even more so, he longed to see her smile again.  The echo in his memory, while clear, was no replacement for the beautiful brilliance of her happiness.

[kaibutsushidousha]

Witch, Picture, and Red-Eyed Girl (Sagrada Reset 2) - Epilogue

[INDEX]

August 12th—Three days passed since the fateful night when the witch meet Sasano Hiroyuki again and disappeared from Sakurada. On this Saturday morning, Kei sat on his bed. The room was poorly lit because he didn't bother opening the curtains.

He recalled what the witch told him 3 days prior.

For a few minutes, she told Asai Kei about his future.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The Bureau won't pursue any of you over this incident. Because archiving everything as only mine and Sasano Hiroyuki's problem is the simplest procedure. You don't need to worry about this point. All that makes you is someone the Bureau doesn't like.", she calmly professed. "I truly wish I could give you something more detailed, but sorry, I'm sure that the future I saw means nothing."

He couldn't believe her.

"Why would you say so?"

The idea of Future Sight being pointless was inconceivable to him.

Her right hand gently touched Kei's cheek. Her palm was coarse. She closed her eyes and began to speak slowly.

"You'll be involved in something huge."

"In what?"

"An issue involving my successor."

The witch's successor.

A person with the ability to become the foundation of the Bureau's system.

"Does a person like this really exist?"

The witch nodded.

"The Bureau has always been looking for someone with an ability capable of replacing me in my role. But they couldn't find it anywhere. I thought we no longer had anyone other than me with the ability to see the future. But..."

She opened her eyes and looked deeply into Kei's expression.

"You know who has this ability.", she said looking at Kei with her expressionless face. "Two years ago, you met a person with the ability to see the future."

(It can't be.)

But in his denial, he noticed it. The facts hit him whether he wanted it or not.

"Is your successor... Is this person who can see the future a girl?"

"Yes."

"Middle schooler, short hair, skinny, big eyes?"

"Yes."

"A girl who died two years ago?"

"Yes, that one."

He felt everything click. Every piece of information thus far combined to form a neatly concise whole.

"You'll see her again.", the witch declared. "She has the power to learn the future. That is the power to change the future. So your future can drastically change on a whim. The future I saw means nothing."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

That was all she told about Asai Kei's future.

He remembered laughing out loud on his way home after parting ways with her. Once he was alone, he couldn't hold it back anymore. He laughed until his eyes were filled with tears. Even now 3 days later, he's assailed by a powerful urge to laugh whenever he remembers her. He feels like laughing as a way to cry.

Kei remembered the events of two years before, of one month before, and of a few days before. He remembered all the events and the people he met along the way.

He smirked.

(I suspected it. Everything felt too good to be true. I could feel someone's design. I couldn't easily obtain a photo of her at sunset on those tetrapods for no reason. The card I needed wouldn't fall on my lap all that conveniently.)

Everything made sense if she was seeing the future two years ago. He knew, for example, what the Macguffin was and what purpose it served.

He didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing. But at the very least, things made sense.

Kei quickly shook his head.

He decided now was a moment to interpret everything positively. The witch saw a future where they meet again. That's all that mattered.

He rose from this bed and opened the curtains.

Strong sunlight filled his room.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The girl who died two years before. The girl resembling a stray cat—

Souma Sumire.

She certainly expected all of this would happen.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

At 12:30, Asai Kei was in Sasano Hiroyuki's garden. Haruki Misora and Murase Youka stood next to him. He brought the two with him for a simple experiment.

Kei looked up to see the aged cherry tree before him.

Despite being under the blue summer sky and surrounded by verdant trees, this tree produced very few withered leaves. The tree aged into a visual reminder of death.

Kei lowered his eyelids, then turned around to face Haruki. She had her phone to her ear. Her elbow was no longer bandaged, but there was a tiny scar left.

"Save.", said Kei.

She gave her usual answer.

"August 12th, 12:29:02."

Kei nodded and pulled out a photograph. A photo of the cherry tree in full bloom. One of the pictures in the album mailed to him.

Kei, Haruki, and Murase each grabbed one of the photo's corners.

They hear the photo rip.

Their line of sight went full white.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of the cicadas grew distant. The sharp violence of the summer lights dissolved and transformed into something softer. The sky and trees took a more subdued color. And the cherry tree in front of them had its widespread branches in full bloom.

White petals floated in the wind.

"So pretty.", mumbled Murase.

Sasano Hiroyuki's ability: to pull the ones touching the photo into the world inside the picture.

His ability creates a world of the past and deletes it mere 10 minutes later. The trio found themselves in a world replicated in film.

Petals calmly fluttered in the air. They looked like they were floating, but they weren't. They spent a few seconds watching their inefficient and unregulated fall.

Kei picked up a fallen petal from the ground and handed it to Murase.

"If you'd please."

She grasped the petal tight.

"Body, reset."

She's no longer affected by the Reset.

Kei looked up to see the pale blue sky cut off by a large section of white.

"Reset."

The world collapsed and reconstructed itself.

The one minute that passed after the Save was left out of it. The past created by Sasano Hiroyuki's ability was deleted. The world momentarily regained its past form.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

He could hear the cicadas.

"August 12th, 12:29:02.", said Haruki.

The trio stood at the world from one minute ago.

Looking at the aged sakura under the summer lights, Kei recalled the image of the proudly blooming tree. It was like seeing an illusion.

"We Reset—Murase, your hand."

She extended her gripping hand and opened it.

She alone was unaffected by the Reset. In her hand, there was the only fragment of the past that survived it.

One cherry petal.

"Thank you."

Kei took the cherry petal and lightly rubbed his fingers on it. It seemed real. It was a petal from the actual bloomed flower that Sasano photographed in this garden ages ago. Or its replica.

"What's even the point of this?", asked Murase.

"I really wanted this petal."

"Won't it return to nothing in no time?"

The effects of Sasano's ability lasted 10 minutes. The world created by his ability disappears 10 minutes later.

"I'm sure the petal won't disappear."

"How come?"

"Because Sasano's ability never activated. The fact that his ability was used was erased by the Reset."

The petal was set to disappear 10 minutes after the ability's activation. Which didn't matter because the ability was never used. The program that deleted the petal was not in effect.

"There's no longer any reason for the petal to disappear."

"How do you know that's how it works?"

"Conjecture. It's just a prediction."

(I have no way of knowing it, but she had. I'm sure that when she died two years ago, she knew of this practical loophole in Sasano's ability.)

Kei held the petal against the sky.

Would the aged tree think this petal came from one of its flowers? If the tree was aware of everything, would it consider the flowers created by Sasano's ability as part of itself?

He didn't know.

Kei couldn't determine if the petal was real or false.

With a vaguely lonely expression, Murase caressed the old cherry tree. Haruki walked next to Kei and watched his face. Kei turned to her and quietly whispered.

"I'll bring Souma Sumire back to life."

"Is it possible?"

"I don't know. But if this petal doesn't disappear, I can do the same thing again."

Haruki blinked slowly.

Her eyes reflected Kei's face.

"Do you have a photo of her?"

"Uhum."

"Is this why you told me the Swampman's story?"

"Yeah."

Haruki opened her mouth but could only bring herself to say what she wanted to a moment later.

"Is the girl in the photo the real her?"

Kei softly shook his head.

"I don't know."

She's a Swampman. An identical stranger with the same "world" as her.

(But I know she wants to leave the photo.)

Kei lowered his line of sight to the petal in his hand.

10 minutes passed, 20 minutes passed, and the petal didn't disappear.

"Hey, can we leave already?", asked Murase.

Kei answered with a smile.

"Yes, thank you for today."

Murase turned back and walked away.

Haruki stood right next to Kei, still looking at him.

Kei let go of the petal. He knew Haruki would follow it with her gaze.

The single petal danced in the wind, with the summer sky and the deep green of the trees as the background to its spectacle. Was it fictional? A mirage of the past? Or an insignificantly trivial part of reality?

It didn't matter which. The white petal under the blue sky was beautiful.

Kei turned back and walked away before the flying petal could drop to the aged tree's roots.

[alldrinkingaside]

"Sometimes Suicide's Not Suicide at All.... It's Addiction Having the Last Word."​

Back in my drinking days I just wanted to get as safely crazed as possible. How could that have been? Wanting to get as Safely Crazed as possible? Who was I then? How was I able to maintain? What was I thinking when I truly felt and believed that? Truly, suicide was never my intention.

Maybe you don't know about the bragging rights of getting high like I once did. Bragging "I was so fucked up last night" or "How did I ever get home? Can anyone tell me?" or perhaps more sheepishly sighing, "I don't remember a thing from last night" and all of these a subtle (and not so subtle) form of pride. A pride in how much I could drink and still sustain a career and housing. Boastful, but within certain limits. One did not want to boast too much.

"I was always a little afraid of pills. Taking one Quaalude and waiting an impatient hour for the effects had, in the past, led me to take a second Quaalude, only to regret it later, after the first one grabbed hold.

Administering the proper dosage of alcohol to achieve the desired effect seemed more manageable. Not strong enough? Switch from scotch and water to scotch on the rocks. Not fast enough? Use less ice. I felt more in control with my alcohol (italicized, because alcohol was my little baby: she never let me down)."

When one considers that I was a blackout drinker who continued to drink long after my ability to form memories dissipated, I still clung to the belief that, somehow, I had control over my drinking. I was always able to explain away the negative consequences of my drinking more easily than the other drugs. The other drugs could come and go as they pleased, but my drinking required more protection because it was always a necessity.

"Right before my last relapse, after having just gotten out of the hospital for an operation for abdominal hernias, I played Doctor with my prescribed pain medication. I took more than the prescribed dosage because I wanted quick relief. I was in pain. Then I didn't wait long enough for the next prescribed dosage time. Before you know it, I was immobile on the sidewalk, crazed. An ambulance was summoned by a passing stranger (apparently) and back to the hospital I went, having been just released a few short hours earlier."

This outcome was not my intention. My intentions were always good. My intent and my consequences rarely seemed to jive. It might best explain why I never was a social drinker. My drinking and drugging would always continue, no matter the consequences.

"If it takes eight pills to kill you, I used to feel safe taking six, and then two hours later I'd start wondering if it's safe to take another one or two. Never was it a case of wanting to commit suicide. I just wanted to get as safely crazed as possible."

"After the first drink, there is no other," That's how it was for me. Always another until my memory's obliteration. MORE was my operative word. And the operation was invariably a disaster.

Currently, with [18+] years of continuous sobriety, MODERATION is now the operative word for me. Moderation in all things (with the exception that I abstain from alcohol and other drugs). The middle way is my way of steering clear of the excesses of emotions or actions that might parallel the insane extremes of my 30 years of acute alcoholism.

Sometimes Addiction Does Not Have the Last Word, Recovery Does.

"Loving to drink. Living to drink. Dying to drink. Dying from drinking. This is the progression of alcoholism. Wanting to live. Learning to live. Loving to live. Living with love. This is the progression of recovery."

Sometimes suicide's not suicide at all. It's Addiction having the last word. But Sometimes Addiction Does Not Have the Last Word, Recovery Does.

Recovery, Sweet Recovery. Possible. Doable. Irreplaceable.

*****

This Post is excerpted from my Non-Fiction, BECOMING UNBROKEN: Reflections on Addiction and Recovery (Find it on Amazon, Book it here): https://lnkd.in/dkF767RT 

You may also wish to explore my Autobiographical Fiction, ALL DRINKING ASIDE: The Destruction, Deconstruction & Reconstruction of an Alcoholic Animal 

(Find it on Amazon. Book it here): https://lnkd.in/esP83n-c

Print and Kindle Versions of Both Books are Available.

[aleksanderscult]

Him thinking about the Sun Summoner before Alina came? Basically an over the years thing - what was he expecting etc

Okay, but that's actually a really good one.

Let's take it from the beginning.

So obviously, Ravka was expecting the Sun Summoner for YEARS. Grisha and otkazat'sya alike ever since the Darkling accidentally created the Fold and Ravka was split in half.

Evidently, Alina Starkov was the first Sun Summoner that had ever existed. No other did before her. And people expected her arrival with hope, dreams and prayers.

We can see how her reveal as the Sun Summoner has affected other people here:

They're shocked, curious, exultant but most of all hopeful.

And that last word applies to the Darkling as well.

I believe that over the years he was waiting for the Sun Summoner to be born and show up. Personally, I think he expected for the Sun Summoner to display his/her powers (because I don't think he was sure if it would be a man or woman) from a younger age like all Grisha children. And the moment he/she would show up, he would take him/her, train him/her and use him/her for his own purpose. Even if the Sun Summoner had been born in Shu Han or Fjerda and rumors reached him of his/her existence he would still try to find a way to get him/her.

He had his plan well-thought-out over the years and was certain that one day that person would appear. He wasn't sceptical about her existence like other people (he has seen Saints and mermaids for God's sake) but as time passed I believe that on one hand he was growing impatient and on the other he had no choice but to wait.

I think the Darkling expected and hoped for a person that he could easily manipulate. Easy to handle. But he found his match in Alina since she proved to be stubborn and defiant, traits that while annoyed him also made him fall in love with her and admire her. Also, he must had expected a person with great power and an appearance that matched that power.

Of course there's also the matter that he knew the Sun Summoner would be immortal, just like him. And the Darkling was always searching for someone to accompany him and share with him this endless eternity. But be certain that he for sure didn't want or expect to fall in love with that person. It's one thing to have the upper hand and control the Sun Summoner and another to be utterly infatuated with her to the point that you can't control your emotions and make rush decisions (in other words what happened with Aleksander: "Mission failed successfully"😭)

So to summarize, he expected for the Sun Summoner to appear, then take her under his wing, train her, manipulate her, make her loyal to him and also make her understand his point of view and plans.

And what he expected from that person? Hopefully, someone easily manipulated, gullible, innocent, cut off from any other person from his/her life, someone willing to follow him without any obstacles getting in their way. But also someone strong that knows his/her value and having the same views as him about the world.

Now I'm going to analyze his initial thoughts and expectations about Alina even though I don't know if you're interested in this, dear anon😭

I just like analyzing every aspect of the matter.

When he first saw Alina, I think he was torn between hope and doubt.

Obviously his mind was working feverishly here trying to understand if Alina was truly the person that he awaited for so many years or not and trying to clear out the whole mess that was brought before him.

And here we can see that his initial thoughts of her weren't that flattering. In his eyes, she seemed fragile, plain, nothing remarkable and just ordinary but still he suspected that something might hide inside her and the witnesses' strong convictions made him want to confirm his suspicions. It was a matter of high importance after all. And indeed his suspicions were confirmed.

And the moment Alina's powers were revealed he immediately set forward his plans:

Take her to the Little Palace, protect her at all costs and treat her right.

It took centuries for the Darkling to find her. And now that he has, he will not risk losing her. And in order to protect her, he puts her in his personal carriage and gives her his best and most talented men. The ones he trusts: Ivan, Fedyor and his personal guard the oprichniki. And later he joins them himself.

As for what he thought of her, that's easy. Hope. (And a little wariness I might add)

And we can see that in some of his early discussions with Alina:

He didn't lie here. She WAS a glimmer of hope for him but while he told Alina that he wanted to destroy the Fold, he actually wanted to use it as a weapon to bring peace to Ravka.

With Alina at his side he desired to bring peace to Ravka, an end to the constant wars and protection to the Grisha.

He wanted this for so long that he was in a hurry to give her Morozova's collar and amplify her powers. He was desperate to be done with it.

Another line where he was honest.

Alina proved herself to learn fast and the impressive display of her powers to the people at the Winter fete only enhanced his desire to save his country and his conviction that Alina was destined to be at his side.

[silin-vigil]

Silin watched as he stepped closer to her, instantly feeling herself grow warm from him. Her body had such a reaction to him. She hated it, she wished her attraction to him had died down, or vanished. They had been living together for a little over a month, and she had never attempted to share time with him. However, she was well aware she had to keep her distance from him because she was sure he was not fond of her. And Elora seemed to perfectly occupy whatever free time he did have. A bitter taste coated her tongue at the thought of them sharing something as strong as a child. Realizing that perhaps it was time that she did allow herself to feel something, to try to bond with another. She hated the fact that it was the jealousy she was feeling for Daegel to come to that conclusion. He was not for her, nor would he ever be. After all, she was sure all she felt toward Daegel was just sheer desire, and perhaps a level of fondness. One she did not so readily admit, but his presence alone in the cottage had made being home much bearable than the silence she had suffered the first couple of weeks her grandmother had passed. His hand guided hers into the position he desired; it happened quickly, far too quickly for her liking. Her gaze dropped to his hand, his hand hovering over hers. Biting down on the corner of her bottom lip, yearning that he would touch. But she knew they could not, especially since she knew what the receiving end was like. Aside from that, it simply did not confirm that Daegel was attracted to her, he had Elora. Yet, the way he was speaking left her far too confused, his hand raising a bit higher as she watched intently. Soon her hand felt the rush of cold, but she did not jerk back and simply stayed in place as she felt the coldness emit from his hand. How strange, Silin thought, but it was by no means felt unpleasant. In fact, it very much reminded her of taking one’s first step outside into the cool night after being stuck in a stuffy tavern that was far too hot, with too many bodies which only made the room warmer. But that first step outside into the cool night felt refreshing and pleasant. The mention of a child not being able to control that breaking the desire he had so easily clouded her with, “right. I understand.” She spoke. The reality of why she should attempt to move on is only being enforced at the mention of Elora missing her bleeding. The gods truly reminded her that they were not meant to be, and his mentioning to add the favor she had just offered to the debt stung. Stung far more than she wanted to admit. Then again, it was no fault of him, she had made her bed and had to lay in it. Silin simply gave him a nod of acknowledgment, her gaze upon Daegel when he questioned her, holding his gaze as she lifted a shoulder and offered a shrug. “I do not believe so. He is a human man, and elderly but a very qualified healer. I respect him as he did my grandmother and me. I doubt he would forget seeing a pregnant woman, but perhaps you should visit him?” Silin suggested, “he has a tiny shop not too far from the blacksmiths. Ceniz, that is his name.” Silin informed him. Silin herself held some doubts about how truthful Elora was being, but perhaps she was pregnant and was seeing a healer who was not in the kingdom. Her gaze, seeing Daegel’s features change into an emotion she could not quite make out at the mention of Godwin. Wondering if the idea of someone desiring her in such a way seemed impossible to Daegel, Silin laughed softly. It was the first time she had laughed, and it not being Hamlin’s foolery. “Do not be so surprised. Men do find me attractive, despite my demeanor.” She assured him. “Yes, I will be fine. You do not need to worry about me.” Giving him an encouraging nod to go visit his family if he desired. Silin adjusted herself more comfortably in the wooden chair, the mug held in between her hands as Daegel answered her question. His words were simple, and they should not have warmed her as they did. Yet the way he gazed, his words, left her confused and her heart fluttering.

Her cheeks finally displayed how warm she felt, turning a soft red. “That is all good and well.” She managed to break the silence. Silin felt foolish, perhaps she was seeing things that were not there. Aside, even if they were. He was not the man for her, he would be the husband of Elora, and the whole town knew it. She did not desire to be the mouth of the town once more. It was the last thing she needed, another scandal and her name being dragged through the streets. She was chained to this kingdom, and she did not want more attention on herself. And yet instead of kicking Daegel out, and telling him to just pay his debt; Silin offered a smile to the fairy. “You are also the closest thing I have had to a friend in many years.” She commented. “And I never thanked you, you being here when we returned was…helpful. I did not feel my grandmother's death so heavily.” Speaking of her feelings did not come so easily to Silin, after what her lover and mother did. Speaking freely felt foolish, as she felt like it could be weaponized against her. There were other ways she wished she could thank him, but she supposed that was something that was not meant to be. “You are welcome to visit me whenever you want or can.” Remembering that Elora would surely have some say.

Daegel shook his head, "No, but we can emit the cold when we wish to." He stepped closer to her and took her hand and brought it in front of her with her palm up. He hovered the palm of his hand over hers, not touching, but near enough that she would be able to feel the warmth of his skin, "You can feel that I am warm as you are." He said and raised his hand a bit further from hers. He focused on his hand above hers for just a moment before the waft of cold moved forth from his hands to lightly blow a rapidly cooling beam of air to her hand. "Children cannot control that. They learn it young, but I would not be able to hide from their mother what they are." He said softly and then pulled his hand back. He was blurring too many lines for himself, getting far too close to her, speaking far too low to her. It made it impossible for him to not want to pull her into his arms, to kiss her, but he needed to stop. It was ridiculous that he needed to keep reminding himself that he was to be married. Perhaps if he had loved Elora or found feelings for her other then enjoying the feel of her he could be excited for it, but marriage had never been a serious thought for Daegel. He had always grown so used to take care of his family that such desires were things he had never given much thought or energy to. Daegel watched her as she pulled out the crystal and it formed into her spell book.her magic was just unlike what he had spent his time around, it was different and still rather intriguing to him. He walked over to the grimoire as she opened it and picked out a spell for him to look at though, truthfully, as he looked it over it made little sense to him. Daegel did not do spell work, his magic he carried all within him. He looked to her as she explained further, “She has missed bleeding twice now.” He told her, wondering how he well such a potion would work on a child, or how safe it would be. But he trusted that if anyone could make it safe for his child that Silin could. Why she would be willing to help him with such a thing when he owed her such a debt already was beyond him, but he was grateful for her. "I suppose it goes without saying that you can add it to the debt I already owe you." He said and smiled softly at her though the whole situation felt rather grim for him. He would have to go on hiding his true nature from Elora until he knew he much, much better. It would likely be years down the line. He felt his stomach flip in a sickly way at the thought. Though the child was unwanted he knew he would end up loving it no matter what. Elora was another case, being married to a woman he was not sure he would ever love or not. Perhaps he could come to love her in some matter, but he questioned the depth of how romantic it could be for him. He enjoyed sex with her, but the witch he stood with now held much deeper feeling for him than Elora did. Daegel laughed dryly at her quip, "Yes, perhaps I should have, but then," He paused and shook his head at himself, "I don't know." It would have denied him the opportunity to be around Silin further. He recognized that perhaps he was in a position to romanticize Silin because of his situation, but he truly did feel more at ease with her, more open with her. She may have had a coldness to her, but it was not without its reason. She had inherited being tied to a kingdom and though she could live in a way that appeared to be free there was a prisoner-like quality to it. But she still carried the warmth of the earth with her, a caring nature that gave one the sense they could approach her. Elora was physically warm, but lacked much depth as far as Daegel had been able to tell. Their conversations never more than pet names, sweet nothings, and erotic before she became pregnant. Now the conversations were full of worry and voicing the concerns of her parents. He would need to find a way to make it all bearable for himself, but he was finding it difficult when her parents and brother looked at him in the way they did. It seemed as though they all knew something he did not.

"Not significantly. She frequently tells me about the concerns of her parents, she seems more anxious and frustrated with me than ever, but that is to be expected with pregnancy." However Daegel felt his ears perk up at the mention that Elora had not been to the doctors in months. "She told me she has been to the doctors. Might he have been mistaken?" He asked her, now wondering if he had caught Elora lying to him. Though he wondered for what reason she would lie about this. Was it her jealousy over Silin? That seemed foolish though not unfounded. Daegel looked up from the mugs he set out at the mention of Godwin and his fondness of Silin. Daegel felt a surge of jealousy, his jaw clenching for a moment as he gathered himself, knowing his jealousy was a stupid thing for him to feel. "Then I suppose I shall go soon then since you will be protected." He managed to comment. If it had not been for the knock at the door Daegel could have gotten far too close to Silin. As much as he wished to kiss her, feel her body pressed against his, it was not a fair thing to do. Even if it was the first time he truly felt something mutual between them that did not just border on friendship. There was heat there, something passionate that wished to bubble over into more, but Daegel had fully sullied any chances of that. It was only torture to himself now to stand so near to her, to be so close he thought he could almost feel the heat of her body against his own. It would have been nothing for him to reach out and tuck those dark and luscious curls of hers behind her ear and reveal more of her lovely face to him, to cup her soft cheek and draw her into a kiss. But that knock at the door was a reminder to him that he was set to marry and had impregnated another woman. But at that time he had not known he would come to have such blossoming feelings for Silin, no in fact, he was fighting them at that point. Something he should still very much be doing, but absence truly only seemed to make the heart grow fonder. He sat at the table and sipped his tea as she addressed the person at the door, watching her get the potion bottle and exchange money. He had missed her in these past weeks. So much so that just watching her move about the cottage in that moment seemed like a dream, one that set in stone for him that he longed deeply for her. Silly, he thought. What a silly fool he was for resisting what his heart told him even so early into something that seemed dark initially. It had come to not feel so. The only darkness it caused was forcing him to realize his parents were not all he had allowed them to be built up in his mind as. "I do not have much to renegotiate at this point. I will go see my family at the end of this week and gather what I can for you then we can discuss a renegotiation. I needed someone to speak freely with more than anything. You are all I have for such things." He stated, his gaze lingering on hers for too long. He finally broke it to sip from his tea, the liquid hot but comforting like every cup of tea she had prepared for him had been.

[asoulofatlantis]

This was one of the biggest lies of Yevon. The summoners, as Yuna later stated, fought Sin because they hoped - just as Braska did - that this time, he wouldn’t come back. That they might be the one, who would finally get rid of Sin for good. And that is why they and their guardians fought too. They believed in that chance. Just as the people did. The people were fine with sacrificing the summoners for the greater good, because they thought it would eventually free Spira of its suffering forever. False hope, as Yunalesca said indeed.

I was surprised that Yunaleska revealed so easily that the final Aeon would become the new Sin. I mean, sacrificing themselves for Spiras safety is surely something many would have done gladly. That is the whole reason for the Pilgrimage to begin with, after all. BUT if they know, that they will end up becoming the new Sin, being the ones who destroys it all and causes all the suffering, who would still choose to be Sin?

Yuna was the first summoner strong enough to be willing to break the cycle, instead of giving in to bringing the people at least false hope. I mean, look at that frail young girl. Not even 18 years old. And here she is, the one who is willing to break through the lies and find a better way. I miss those kind of strong woman in Final Fantasy games. They tried it with Luna in Final Fantasy 15, but since we haven’t seen much of her, it wasn’t really the same, we never really felt her strength or the weight of her sacrifice. With Yuna do, we watch her grow and so it feels so much better to see how she becomes what she is now. A strong woman who goes her own way without any regrets and with a strong resolve no matter how hard it gets.

Yunalesca on the other hand has in 1000 years never changed. But maybe that is because she is stuck there in Zanarkand and does only her job and never sees anything else. She doesn’t see the suffering of Spira or what the Spiral of death does to it. Maybe if she would go and meet, like truly get to know, some people of Spira, then maybe she would have changed too. But that was never her objective to begin with.

So... and now the game has crushed on me shortly before the fight against Yunalesca. So it seems I am going to watch all that crap again V.V As I thought, I can not skip that. Urg V.V This time I will at least save after the first chat with Yunalesca, so in case this happens again, I do not have to do all the stuff again.

The game has hinted at that a few times... but back then it still really hurt to find out that this was the truth. I really liked Auron, was hoping for him to have a happy ending, like one who has been through what he has been through has deserved. But that too, would not have fit into the bittersweetness of the plot.

Jekkt really loved his son. Its ironic really, how Tidus always hated his father, even tho his reasons seemed understandable, when all Jekkt ever thought of was him. When his biggest dream was making him a star blitzball player. When he really was what he loved the most in the world.

They say it is in Sins nature to attack and to kill and Sin showed that a few times. But here, you see him standing there waiting and as Tidus shows him that he still has to wait for a while he just leaves. Not attacking anyone or anything. So obviously he can hold back quite well. And thinking back, this is hardly the first time.

I remember when I saw this scene for the first time, it was so scary to watch the Airship pass Sin. But once again, he just left quietly and peacefully.

Remember, when Yunas mother married a non-AlBhed, Cid became distant to her and likely never spoke with her again, before her untimely death. But even after she died, he never contacted Yuna. He obviously wanted her to live. But he never could bring himself to say it or apologize to her.

But you can tell what he felt in that moment...

And here we go again. From respecting great master Mika to “Make him talk” XD Kimari really rocks. I mean, the reason why no one thought of that, was because no one dared too.

These too had a fun relationship. I liked the way they became like a little sister and big brother in some sort of way, even tho Wakka first hated her for being an AlBhed.

When you frist meet Shelinda you wonder why you have to deal with her. But turns out she was needed for keeping Yevon in Order after we cause a ruckus XD Also... helpful with the hymn of the fayth and all.

And so will he... You know, I think it was cruel that he didn’t tell Yuna about it, given what he has been through with her sacrifice being a secret. But then again, maybe he was afraid she would waver...

In any case... that's it for today. Before I defeat Sin there is only one more thing I must do: Find the (hopefully) last AlBhed-Book. The letter “W” is the only one missing. If I find that one, then I will finally be able to say that I’ve catched them all XD But once again, not today.