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reiderwriter · 1 year ago

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Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You🃏

Chapter 1 of That's What You Get

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Word count: 5.2k

Summary: After three weeks on a case in Vegas and a particularly draining phone call from your mother, you decide to take Reid up on his offer to show you the sights of Las Vegas. When you wake up the next morning, you realise one of those sights was a 24hour Wedding Parlor, and that you're now Mrs. Reid.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, loss of memory, marriage (yeah that needs a warning), mommy issues, mentions of emotional abuse, implied sex scene, use of handcuffs in a sexual way, they theorize a possible creampie but I will neither confirm nor deny at this point, talk of contraception, no actual smut though, you guys are gonna have to wait for that. 18+ Minors DNI

A/N: The first chapter is here! Sorry for drawing you in with a silly little premise and then giving you mommy issues, I swear that after this chapter it's not bought up all that much. If you enjoy this chapter, you can sign up to the series taglist here, check out my masterlist and if you want leave a request! :D have fun reading!! ✨

Las Vegas, city of sin and entertainment capital of the world. Population approximately 600,000, home to the most famous casinos in the world, and unluckily for you, your latest unsub.

You’d been in Vegas for three weeks trying to hunt down this specific murderer, but now the case was all wrapped up and you could finally breathe, the weight of the stress you’d been carrying for almost a month now dissolving as you finally finished up the paperwork in the local precinct.

“Thank god that’s over. I cannot wait to be in bed with a good book and an empty head,” you groaned as you met the eyes of Penelope Garcia, your favorite tech analyst in the entire world and absolutely the only one you knew. She’d ended up having to join you on this case because some of the crime scenes just happened to be casinos that weren’t so happy sharing their data, but also didn’t want to be lumped with the warrant from the FBI. She’d been working between their offices and the precinct, and looked just as haggard as you felt.

“Oh, I feel you sister, this free travel experience thing is nice, but I would like to be back at my own perfect little desk hovel ASAP, thank you very much.” The two of you shared a small laugh, and then began collecting your stuff.

“Come on now, baby girl, you’re telling me that you don’t want to hit up the strip while we’re here? See the sights a little?”

“Sweet cheeks, I have been working from the most harrowing of surveillance units all week on that very strip. I have already seen the sights and they were not pretty, and definitely not worth using up my precious vacation time for.”

“Unfortunately Garcia, I don’t think you’ll be needing to use any of that vacation time to stay here,” Hotch announced as he walked in, and every member of your team snapped to attention to hear what he had to say. “I just got off the phone with Quantico, there’s a storm cloud moving in directly in our flight path and we haven’t been cleared for take off. They’re extending our stay by another day.”

“Shit,” you let out a silent curse, and noticed that your other team members didn’t seem all that happy about it either. JJ quickly excused herself from the room to call Will, Garcia let out a faux sob and fell back into her chair, and Rossi had the look of abject Italian disappointment on his face that he usually only got when you talked about your love of pineapple on pizza.

“How’s about that drink now, baby girl?” Derek Morgan teased, but it was half-hearted and you knew it. You were all desperate for bed, and you could only imagine the mistakes you would make if you went drinking now after the month you’d all just survived.

The only member of the team who didn’t seem put out quite yet was Reid, but you chalked that up to the fact that this place was his hometown.

“If you guys do change your mind, I know a bar downtown where you’re 34% less likely to be propositioned, robbed or over-charged.” He smiled over at you, and you couldn’t help but let out a giggle knowing the man was 100% serious.

“Dare I ask how you found that statistic, Reid?” Emily inquired from the other corner.

“One part actually reading the annual crime report, one part personal experience?” Reid replied, and you laughed again, unable to hold it back.

“Count me out, thank you,” you replied, and you could have sworn for a second you saw a flash of disappointment flash over his features, but you didn’t get the chance to question it, because a call was lighting up your phone screen.

You quickly excused yourself and moved to pick up the call from your mother.

“Mom, hey, what’s up?”

“What, I can’t check in on my daughter now for no reason?” you sighed and rubbed your temples, knowing exactly how this phone call was going to go, because it was how the last ten calls home had.

“Yes, mom, of course you can. How are you?”

“Terrible. Cindy’s daughter is getting married, and it’s all she’s talking about now. Can you believe it? The girl was absolutely wild when you were friends with her in high school and now she’s settling down with a lawyer of all people. Someone should warn that young man before he realises what he’s got himself into,” she scoffed on the other end of the line and you did your best to not get worked up. If you got angry it only made her more self-richeous.

“I know, Mom, Jessica sent me an invite, and I’m sure Trevor knows exactly what he’s getting into since they’ve been dating since high school.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know that? You never tell me anything.”

“I’m sorry, Mom, I’m in the middle of a case right now, can I call you back later?” You did your best to escape the conversation before it devolved into something you really didn’t want to talk about, like yourself, and more specifically your love life. But the gorgon had you frozen through the line and you weren’t about to make the mistake of hanging up on her.

“I’m sure your boss could spare you for five minutes, over-working you like he does. You haven’t had the time off to come and visit me since you got that fancy little job of yours, so you can do me this favor at least.”

“Sure, mom.” At times like this, you knew it was best to just let her talk and ride out the wave.

“And I’m sure you don’t even have time to date. Are you taking care of yourself, at least? Making sure you’re at least presentable, I hope? Its like I always say, you could meet your future husband in one of those precincts, you know. Get a big, strong man to take care of you.”

You had to resist the urge to throw your phone. You’d explained to your mother time and time again that you were perfectly content being the big, strong man for yourself, but there was absolutely no getting through to her. You received one of these phone calls everytime one of her friends or coworkers kids announced an engagement, got pregnant or bought a house, three things that she was desperate for you to do, as well. As soon as you saw the instagram post from Jessica you’d been counting down the days, almost thankful for your mothers lack of online presence.

“A crime scene isn’t exactly the most charming of meet cutes, Mom.”

“Well, then what about Virginia? There are some fine men working at the FBI surely. What about that one coworker of yours, what was his name?” Your heart-race increased for a moment, praying she wasn’t about to put a thought in your head that you wouldn’t be able to escape.

“Derek Morgan, was it? Now, that’s a fine young man.” This time you couldn’t stop the startled cry that came from your mouth. Sure, Morgan was an incredibly attractive man, but he’d joked around with you like a brother ever since you’d taken down your first unsub with the team. Your team was your family and your support system on the road, and they had your back on the case, so really, had your mother said anything, you’d have responded with incredulous guffawing. Hotch was like your dad, Rossi a fun Great-Uncle or something. You saw the sister’s you’d never had in JJ and Emily and of course Garcia was your best friend and you shared so many likes and dislikes that you regularly joked about being long-lost twins separated at birth. And Reid was Reid.

“Just give dating some thought, would you at least? The clock is ticking for you, you know.”

“Mom, I’m not even thirty yet. I’m in no rush.”

“That's what your Aunt Linda said, and look at her.” Your Aunt Linda was a perfectly content single woman in her late forties who had a high paying executive job, in NYC of all places, so yeah, you were in no rush at all.

“Listen, Mom, I’ve got to go, Hotch is calling me into the office to talk about some case files. I’ll speak to you later?”

“God, it’s like you don’t even want to talk to your mother for even five minutes. Go on, then, go do your big fancy job. Call me soon.”

“Yeah, Mom, I will.” And with that you finally hung up. Running a hand through your hair you paused for a breath for a second, closing your eyes and letting your hand just grip your hair for a second before releasing your breath for a second.

In the grand scheme of things, you knew that your mom wasn’t all that much to complain about. You and Emily had bonded over your respective mommy issues early in your time on the team, and you knew a lot of the other team members were either lacking some family member or the other, so you were just thankful that she was still around to annoy you, but god did she make it difficult sometimes.

Realising that any second, you’d have one profiler or the other come find you and ask you (with the best of intentions) what was wrong, you plastered a smile on your face and walked back into the office. You didn’t exactly want to relive that call anytime soon.

“Back so soon, Y/N? I thought that was your mom,” Morgan questioned you when you stepped back in.

“Yeah it was. One of my friends from highschool is getting married and you know how she loves to gossip.” You’d learnt early in the profession that you were in that the best way to hide something was to tell the truth about it for as long as you could, and then change the subject.

“Hey, Reid, you still up for a drink at that bar?” You looked hopefully at the man in the corner, and prayed noone would bring up your absolute change in attitude. “I was thinking a glass of wine or two after a successfully closed case couldn’t hurt, right?”

“Yeah, sure. You wanna head back to the hotel first and change, or do you want to go from here? Hotch said we’re free now until 2pm tomorrow.” You could see a questioning look from Morgan to your left, but you kept your vision focused on Reid, quietly thankful for the rest of the teams disinterest.

“Give me five to drop off my badge and gun in my room and freshen up a bit and we can be on our way. If this bar is bad though, Reid, you know I’m never letting you hear the end of it, right?”

“I ran the statistics, there’s only a 14% chance you’ll dislike it.”

“You know what’s scary is, I can’t even tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.”

–x–

Sarcasm or no, you had to admit, the bar he’d taken you to was pretty nice. It was a low-lit bar only a twenty minute taxi ride from your hotel and whilst it wasn’t exactly on the strip, it wasn’t so far out to be inconvenient. The best part about it was that it was lined with bookshelves, and each booth was blocked off by another, making it feel more like a library than a watering hole. You almost forgot you were in Vegas when you stepped in.

“Yeah, this is definitely a Spencer Reid place,” you said as you took the final swig of your wine, the glass you’d ordered on arrival having gone down easier than you’d expected.

“How so?” Spencer said as he returned to your table, carrying the replacement drinks he’d gone to order with him.

“Come on, Spencer. I’ve never seen the inside of your apartment but I’m sure it’s just this place with less furniture and more books.”

“Y/L/N, are you profiling me right now? Because that sounds pretty close to profiling?” Spencer teased and you rolled your eyes at him, grabbing your next drink from him and giving it a stir - the wine was good but at the price per glass you’d decided maybe cocktails were the thing for tonight.

“Besides, you did mention wanting to curl up with a book tonight, so I thought this bar was probably a good fit for you too.”

“Whose profiling who now, Doctor?” It was his turn to roll his eyes, and he took a sip of his drink. You knew he didn’t drink that often, but he seemed pretty open to the idea tonight, and you were absolutely glad for the company.

“Okay, I won’t profile if you don’t, but do you mind me asking you a question, Y/N?”

“Fire away,” you were playing with the stirrer in your cocktail, waiting for him to ask the question but he’d hesitated for a moment before speaking again, causing you to look up directly into his eyes.

“What’s going on with you and your mom? I don’t mean to pry and I didn’t overhear any of your call earlier or anything, but when you came in again you were all tense and you had that strained smile on your face. Then you suddenly changed your mind and decided we should get drinks so, I’m just guessing here, but you could probably do with talking about it, right?”

You let out a groan and let your head hang a bit. Yeah, you were starting to regret taking that role in the team of profilers. But at least Reid was sincere, and you knew his intentions were good. Of all the members of the team, you’d probably have described him as the safest. It was strange to think, considering all the comfort you found in your other friends, but there was just something so reassuring about Reid’s presence, the way most people overlooked him at first, how he could easily fall into his work and how you could see the cogs moving in his head as he made one genius leap to another that just made you think that everything was going to be okay if he was there.

So because it was him, you decided to talk.

“She’s just…She’s just a little much sometimes, you know?” He smiled back a knowing smile, but didn’t try to add anything and encouraged you to keep going.

“She’s been really persistent recently in bothering me about hitting some of lifes big milestones - marriage, kids, you know? And it always leaves me in a panic because though I’m pretty sure I want those things just yet, I don’t want the pressure of having them yet.” You swallowed the bile in your thoat and continued

“Everytime she says something, I feel bad that I don’t have them. And the way she talks about them its like they’re some kind of… of personal failure, that I’m not trying hard enough to catch a man or something, and I just wonder what if she’s right?” You start slow but you feel yourself gaining pace as you begin rambling, by the end you’re left wondering if Reid even caught any of that.

“I’m perfectly content living alone, but what if I’m secretly not, and I end up forty and alone and can’t even get a guy to look at me.”

“I can pretty confidently say that that’s not going to happen, Y/N.” Reid replied when you finally grabbed your drink ready to take another sip.

“How come?”

“You won’t have to put any effort into catching a man, Y/N.” Reid replied.

“You’re saying that because you’re my friend and you care about me Reid, of course you think that.”

“No, I’m saying that as an FBI Profiler that’s noticed the barman, the man on a date in the corner and the group of guys smoking outside the door eye you up since we’ve been here. And considering we’ve been doing paperwork all day, and the only change in your appearance since 8am this morning was the fresh coat of chapstick you put on while we were in the taxi, I’d think you hadn’t really put that much thought into what you look like right now.”

“You’re exaggerating,” and you really believe that, until you turn to look at the guy on the date and see him avert his gaze from you quickly, and you realise there might be something in what he’s saying.

“Okay, but that still doesn’t mean that I need or want to hear those things from my mother.”

“Y/N, take it from me, mother’s can be complicated.”

“God, I feel so stupid talking to you about something so trivial with my mom, I shouldn’t be doing that, we’re here to have fun.”

“Y/N, its okay. I can do the mommy issues talks, I’m perfectly qualified, but…” he trails off and grabs his drink for another sip and you find yourself hanging off his words begging for him to bring you more comfort and spoken caresses.

“But what, Reid?” you finally ask, as you realise he’s dragging this out on purpose to tease you a little.

“But how about a distraction instead? Have you ever been in a Las Vegas casino with a man that is banned from gambling in most of them?” He wiggled his eyebrows a little as he asked that and you giggled again, grateful for the reprieve from the serious talk.

“That doesn’t sound all that fun, Spencer.”

“Oh yeah, it’s not, but we could always use those vouchers we got as a token of appreciation earlier in the bars and drink some pretty fancy alcohol?”

“Spencer Reid, you are finally speaking my language.”

“I’m still speaking English Y/N, but if you wanted me to switch to russian or some other language, I could accommodate that depending on your linguistic preference.”

“It was a joke, Spence, now let’s get out of here.”

With that, he stood and dramatically offered you his hand like a gentleman, placing your hand in the crook of his elbow when you took it and guiding you swiftly out of the sweet bar. You were with Spencer, your safe friend, close work colleague and probably the least likely member of the BAU Team to get into trouble in a bar in Vegas. What’s the worst that could happen? You thought, as you took a final step out into the humid night air of Las Vegas.

–X–

The first thing you noticed in the morning was the pounding in your head, and it was pretty much the only thing you noticed for quite some time. When you managed to finally unglue your eyes, the second thing you noticed that this definitely wasn’t your room. The third thing you noticed was the gaping hole in your memories that explained how you possibly could’ve ended up wherever it was that you were. Or really any memories from the night before at all.

Letting out a quick groan you sit up in bed and take stock of your surroundings. Although the layout is different, you quickly recognise the interior matches the hotel you’ve been staying at, so you’re thankful that you’re at least somewhere relatively safe, and most likely in familiar company. The room looks to be neat on the whole, but there’s obvious signs of a drunken escapade strewn everwhere - two champagne flutes and a drained bottle, the contents of your purse spilt onto the chair in the corner, some random balloons in the corner you must have picked up somewhere in a drunken stupor, your clothes discarded in a trail to the bed.

That last one wakes you up a little bit more, and almost embarrassingly, you look down at yourself and see your lack of clothing, pulling the covers of the quilt closer to you as you feel yourself flush.

Fuck.

There’s a shifting in the bed next to you, and you look down in horror to see exactly which member of your team got you so plastered last night. You try to move to see who it is, but theres a tightness around your wrist and you’re pulled right back down into bed. You look down at your arm, and that’s when you realise you’re really screwed.

There, around your wrist and restraining you against the bed, is a set of handcuffs. FBI standard. The insinuation flames your face as you whip around to see which close friend and coworker you maybe - possibly - hooked up with last night, too embarrassed to look at your hand any more.

Luckily, your mystery man shifts again, and you catch sight of the nest of brown curls right before he turns over to see you, so when you finally meet the eye of Doctor Spencer Reid, you don’t scream in surprise.

“Y/N? What are you doi-” he cuts himself off as he lets his eyes trail down your body, quickly noticing your state of undress and pulling himself up into a seated position. He is similarly disrobed and it takes all of your strength to pull your gaze away from his bare chest to look literally anywhere else, your face practically flaming now.

“Spencer, would you mind helping me out over here?” you manage to squeak out quickly, as he does his best to avoid your eyes. “I seem to be a little stuck?”

That draws his attention back to you, and he finally notices the strange position of your arms and the handcuffs keeping you pinned to that spot in the bed.

“Shit, Y/N, I’m so sorry, fuck,” he quickly pulls on the pants he discarded by his side of the bed and scrambles over to you, tripping over once in his haste.

“Do you know where the key is?” you ask as he arrives at your side again, your free hand clutching the sheets over your breasts like your life depended on it.

“If that’s my pair they should be in the safe in the nightstand with my creds, give me a second to look.” After a second, he reaches the aforementioned safe box, pulling it open. He roots around inside it for a few seconds and then he spots something ad you watch the blood drain from his face.

“Spencer, what’s wrong?” you spit out quickly, tongue still heavy, and lips probably still swollen, from the night before, so you trip over the words a little. He pulls out the keys from the draw, and you let out a sigh of relief, but you’re still tense as he reaches back inside the draw and pulls out something else.

“Y/N, there wouldn’t happen to be a ring on that hand would there?” Spencer still isn’t looking at you, still staring intently at whatever else is in his hands. You try to angle your head to look, but between the restraints and the fact that Reid had turned his back to you couldn’t quite see what it was.

“What? No, I don’t wear a ring on this hand-” you cut yourself off abruptly as you look down and see it. There on the fourth finger of your left hand, the one that is still chained to the bed by your partners handcuffs, is a ring. There’s a ring on your ring finger. You just woke up in Las Vegas with no memory, in your coworkers room, naked, with a ring on your ring finger.

Your heart drops to your ass as you snap your head back around to Spencer, who finally works up the courage to look you in the eye.

“I think you should look at this” he stutters out and finally presents you with the other item he pulled out of the draw. Your jaw drops open and the pounding in your head turns into a continuous buzzing as you see yourself presented with a marriage liscence. Pinned to the corner with a paperclip is a polaroid picture, and you recognise yourself and your clothes from the night before, with the addition of a veil and bouquet, your arms slung around Reid’s neck as he pulls you in for what you can assume was a pretty passionate kiss.

“Y/N I think we got married last night.”

For a second you could’ve sworn your heart stopped. This was not happening, not to you, not right now. How stupidly drunk could you have gotten to have actually gone and married someone you weren’t even dating. And considering your current lack of clothing, it was dawning on you that you had probably done a little bit more than what was in that photo.

“Spencer unlock these handcuffs right now, so help me God,” you breathed deep and screwed your eyes shut, hoping that wihtout the distraction of the glaring lights you’d be able to remember some of what you’d done last night, but nothing came to you.

Reid, for what it was worth, got you unlocked quickly. You winced slightly as you pulled your arm away from the position it’d been in for however many hours.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry, I should have undone those last night, I don’t know why I didn’t, I’m usually pretty good at remembering stuff like that.” Reid rambled, running a hand through his hair and pacing slightly at your side of the bed. You pushed yourself up and watched him for a minute, just looking at this man who was now, probably, your husband.

Your husband.

You shook the thought from your head and cut his rambling off quickly.

“You put me in these?” you asked, just desperate for any clarification on any of the events of the last 24 hours, not fully grasping the implications of what you were asking until Reid was looking down at you with a flushed face and a mouth gaping like a fish, struggling to find the words to say.

“This is my hotel room. Those are my handcuffs… I kind of just assumed…” he trailed off the thought and you were right with him, the embarrassment heating your face just as much as it had his. You found it hard to meet his eyes the, and dropped yours to your lap.

“So you don’t remember, either?” You almost sighed in relief at that. If even a genius with an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory was in this state after a night of drinking, then you really couldn’t be blamed for getting so drunk you married your coworker and most likely had some pretty kinky sex with him, remembering absolutely nothing on top of that at all.

“Do you need me to grab you something to wear?” he asked as he looked down at you, letting his gaze trail probably a little bit too low for a little bit too long. You grew heated under his stare, as your body reacted, and you realised how easy it must have been to fall underneath him last night if this was how you were feeling from just one look.

But you pulled yourself out of those thoughts quickly, and it seemed that so did he, as he began grabbing clothes from the floor and handing them to you, turning away as you started getting yourself into a semi-decent state.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” you heard Reid mumble to himself as he made his way around the side of the bed, and in your concern for him, you called out.

“Anything specific those curses were for, Spence? Because I know this isn’t exactly the most ideal situation, but four Spencer Reid swears in a row is a cause for concern.” You tried to joke, hoping to relieve some of the anxiety of your predicament.

“I can’t find…” he started and then dragged a hand over his face, trying to wipe the exhaustion from his eyes. “Y/N, I think we didn’t use protection.” You could see him panicking now, and for a second you thought of joining him too, but you crossed the room and grabbed his arms.

“Spencer, look at me, it’s fine. If we did end up… doing that, I’m on birth control, and we probably have time to grab something extra just to make sure, right?” he looked down at you then and after a moments hesitation, he wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m so sorry about all of this, I’m so stupid for suggesting we go to that casino bar last night, I don’t know what I was thinking. You even said last night that this wasn’t what you wanted for yourself, right now, god I’m an idiot, you don’t deserve this.” He buried his face in your neck and held you tight, and you pulled yours up to his back, rubbing circles into his skin slowly.

“Spencer, listen to me. I can think of noone I would have rather had a shotgun Vegas marriage with, okay? This isn’t your fault, we were both drunk, and I’m sure a Reid who was thinking straight could give me some kind of statistic about inhibitions dropping with a certain amount of alcohol.”

“A study in the United Kingdom found that there was an increase of risky sexual behavior in young people who had participated in binge drinking, including unprotected sex with a new partner and the use of emergency contraceptives and I’m not sure why I’m still talking when that was probably rhetorical, right?” You smiled at his panic, finding him just as endearing as ever, even in this predicament.

“What I’m saying, Spencer, is that we’re going to be okay. This isn’t the first time someone has gotten married in Vegas on a whim. Hell, this isn’t even the first time it’s happened to someone on our team. In a sense, this was a very traditional wedding.”

He groaned into your neck again and you laughed up at him. Sure, you were panicked still, but just having him in your arms there sharing his honest feelings with you instead of bottling it up and leaving you to deal with it on your own in your head too was doing you a world of good, and you found the words you used to reassure him soothing you, too, in turn.

“Here’s what we’re going to do. One, find the nearest pharmacy. Two, find whatever Elvis-inspired love shack wrote that marriage license and figure out if it’s actually legally binding. Three, avoid all of our coworkers until 2pm. How does that sound?”

Reid pulled himself out of your neck then, and you were almost sad at the loss of that warmth near you.

“It sounds like I made the smartest choice of a wife I was ever going to make,” he smiled down at you.

“Oh you got jokes now, Doc? I see.”

“Thought I should let you know all my deep dark secrets now we’re married.” You shared a laugh, and standing there amongst the debris of the night before, despite all the mistakes, you knew you were safe, and that the two of you would always be safe together.

🏷️ @sailortongue @bethanyhaas01 @reidscaffeine @high-functioning-cosplayer @average-sunflower @multifandom-on-the-side @anniewhalelover @prentissesredtanktop @abbyshmaby @academiareid @hugyourlungs @w-windy @babybluecakes @SwaggySagieWagie@reidandhotchsgirl @lover-of-books-and-tea @star0055 @Zaapsite @daddy-dotcom @bluecandycake

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threepandas · 5 months ago

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Bad End: Hidden Heir

Next ->

The Duke's family had very distinct eyes. It was genetic. An aggressively dominant trait at that, though it tended to die off, after a few generations out of the family. Supposedly a "blessing of the Gods". Spring to be exact. Bounty and luck. And the family certainly WAS bountiful.

In all the best and worst ways.

Wealth, corruption, children and bastards. It was a family so aggressively ALIVE, it could only be Spring's blessing that made them so. Pouring mania and madness into their veins like sweet sunlight. Whispering glory and riches, into power addled ears. They burst with life. Even as they endlessly destroyed themselves.

They were fictional.

Fascinating set dressings, for the stage play of someone else's story. Unimportant beyond their role in world building. As the origin story and power base of a character lead.

The Story ITSELF didn't even occur here. But rather, in the capital. Where the players of significance had gathered.

And I? Oh I was some minor antagonist, so insignificant to the plot, I genuinely could not remember which of seven different women I actually WAS. It had been an ongoing series. Otome Isekai. Reverse harem.

And I was either in the ORIGINAL original novel, the isekai'd plot novel, the anime adaption, OR a horrifying fever dream. My memory was largely useless. But? I did remember the characters. The archetypes.

And the fact, that the author had clearly been going though a Yandere phase.

My region of the Reverse Harem collect-o-thon? Horrifying! Red flags everywhere! No one here should date, leave room for fantasy Jesus, have we considered the joys of being a NUN? Yes. Yes I HAVE thought about it.

I was pretty sure I'd never make it. End up dead or captured by some sort of Nun Yandere. Or God Yandere. Possibly both. Assuming the bandit yanderes don't get me first. It... it was very stressful, living here.

Luckily? I knew when I could leave.

Or so I thought.

Because my house? The Dukedom? Had the "yandere butler who is secretly an heir." Who starts out with loyal dog behavior. A little highly possesive master and servant play. Then rises to become a Duke. Presumably? That is when I die. Or am disowned.

Death is most likely. Since my role was "minor antagonist" and I was to be mean to the sweet, earnest, Harem possessing Protagonist. Don't see WHY I would. Live and let live. Good for her etc etc. But regardless? Best to avoid, just in case.

The problem? Who do you think Mr Illegitimate Heir serves before she gets here? The OTHER possible heirs? Of course not! They'd "oops! Hunting accident~☆" him in a heart beat. Father isn't stupid. And my sisters? Issues. Violent, violent, issues.

He ends up with ME.

Father, WHY.

Obviously, I ignore him. I see nothing. I hear nothing. There is no war in Ba Sing Se. Mmmmm, tea. Good book. Ignore his creepy staring. His creepy, creepy staring.

Thankfully? I never really ran out of Totally Legitimate reasons to send him away to learn or do something. Proper tea making. Door maintenance. Eastern embroidery. Something, anything, and off you go! Bye bye~☆!

Unfortunately. He got faster. Better and better at learning. Mastering skills. Coming BACK. Showing up to stand in the corner, silent and looming, like an omen of death. Those damn eyes. The fucking family eyes!

I don't have them. And NOT as, my Father would have me believe, because I "take after my Mother". But because I am not genetically related to the Duke. I have GOLD eyes. When I wear the right shade of green? I pass. So I am condemned to forever wear green. Don't even really like it much. But?

I am pretty damn sure? I was just... pretty.

A lovely, orphaned, golden eyed child that COULD pass as his. So why not? It was a whim that payed off. Unlike in the original stories, I imagine. Since I am by FAR the best behaved child in this entire house. Ha! Suck it, bio-kids, the adopted one's the favorite! Maybe should have been less lil bitchs.

....I carefully do not say.

Those are INSIDE thoughts.

Fuck. He's still LOOMING. Isn't he? Go awaaaaaay. Where is Protag-chan? Come be doe eyed and busty! Trip adorably! Go "kyaaa~" or something! I feel body heat and freeze. He's leaning over my shoulder to pick up the teapot, pour me another cup. I can FEEL the barest graze of his knuckles against my back, from where he's gripped my chair. The smell of his aftershave almost hauntingly pleasant.

Like he KNEW exactly what smells I liked most. Went out of his way to find one that best suited my preference. Coincidence. Please, PLEASE be a coincidence! I do not turn my head. Keep my eyes locked straight ahead. Barely breathing.

He steps back.

The new pot is sharp and herbal. Almost bitter. I force myself to drink. Can't see a sugar dish, and REFUSE to turn around and ask for one. Ignore. IGNORE. My pounding heart calms. My muscles slowly start to relax.

It... it IS weird, though, now that I think about it? That Protag-chan hasn't reached the Dukedom yet. She should have. God only knows I sent Creepy to the capital enough times, with enough highly specific instructions, that he should've had his meet cute's and dates by the dozen. Been half way in love. So... why...?

Huh.

Dizzy.

The taste of tea sits wrong on my tounge. I stop drinking as the world sways. Letting the cup fall from my hand. Splatter, roll, and shatter. I try desperately to stand. A gentle gloved hand catches my elbow, supporting me. I turn. Giddy eyes. Triumphant, wide, spring green eyes. Too green to be gold, too gold to be green.

An almost cruel, mocking, yet loving grin.

Another hand slides around my waist, braces me against his side. Gleeful little murmurs, too pleased to be reassuring. You. You did this! You DRUGGED ME!

I can barely move, body relaxing against my command, going limp, as he draws me close. Presses his face against the side of my head, against my temple. A deep, shuddering breathe, that he savors like wine. I try to pull free but can not. Feel his lips pull into a vicious grin against my skin. Hands begin to run in gentle, claiming, exploration.

And at last the drugs kick in... the wo..rld..

G..oes..

Dar..k........

#threepandas #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #yandere otome isekai #yandere x you #yandere duke #adopted reader #they are not half siblings #yandere oc #yandere otome #just wanted to clarify cause it be like that sometimes in otome #bad end au #bad end hidden heir au #hidden heir au

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lotusmi · 2 years ago

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healing your journey in 23 steps

⭒ Edward Art series in a nutshell! 💌 As you probably know, I summarized all 23 posts from Edward Art series! You can read all those posts fully here. This post is the collection of my fav quotes from every single part! » Edward teaches the law based in Neville books and lectures. His posts made my journey lighter and more simple, so I hope you can feel lighter reading it too! I really recommend you to read it :) If those quotes don't align with your personal beliefs, just ignore it ♡

💬 may u have a lovely read... ♡

1: No one or nothing to change but Self

Remove having to get things. Remove stress. Simply imagine what you want with the feeling of actual freedom to do so.

fulfill it mentally (your desire). Remove rules. Remove consequences. Remove the outer-world when you imagine. Remove all ideas of what you "should do" or "have to do." Do what you want (within).

do not care about how it will happen or when, or even if it is possible.

★ Do not stress yourself trying to change the mirror, but focus on changing self. Go within and fulfill your desires in imagination.

2: Let go of control, and control Self

There is no objective reality.

"Never blame, only resolve." - Neville

let go to the HOW. let go of controlling your outer-world and control yourself. The world is reflecting self. And "Self" is everything you think you HAVE and ARE.

do anything you wish in your mind. You are so powerful in your mind that NOBODY can imprison you. It is entirely up to you, to be what you desire to be in your mind.

3: He who will not live by love must be subdued by fear

You can remove ALL your fears if you do what you want in your mind.

the goal is to NOT change each and every fearful thought. It is not to argue and contemplate on the fear.

NEVER BLAME YOURSELF FOR FEARFUL THOUGHTS. Never blame, only resolve them within. You have the power to resolve to what you want. Don't waste that power on blaming yourself.

you are ALWAYS GREATER than what you are creating in your mind.

We are NOT trying to manipulate reality or force some change upon this physical world. That will happen NATURALLY. Why? Because your world is REFLECTING SELF.

CHANGE SELF BY DOING AND HAVING WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR MIND.

Do you not realize you only get what you want when you give it to yourself?

4: Inner self must be exalted

It comes down to who you think you are. Who you are identifying yourself with. In order to feel completely free, you must identify yourself with the one within you.

When Neville says "Leave the world just as it is and change self. No one to change but self," he means the self that is within, the only self there is. Why leave the world alone? Because it is only an expression of "SELF!" Why does he say to change that and that alone? Because "SELF MUST BE EXPRESSED," that is the Law. You don't have to doubt "is my imaginal act going to come to pass?" Who is doubting? "SELF!" Who is worrying? "SELF!" What gets expressed? "SELF!" YOU CAN ALWAYS TRUST THAT SELF WILL BE EXPRESSED!

Discard the outer-world and that includes your identification with this body. This is ALL an EXPRESSION OF THAT "SELF."

identify yourself from within and you will grant your every wish from within.

since you identify yourself with outer-world and outer-self instead of your True Self and inner-world where everything is possible, you remain stuck.

identify yourself, not with this world, but with the one within, the one who is truly desiring.

5: Imagining is FUN

Thoughts come FROM your FEELING.

thought HAS NO POWER OF ITS OWN. That means the thought HAS NO TRUTH IN ITSELF.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY IF YOU ARE HAVING THE "RIGHT" THOUGHTS OR IF YOU SAYING THE "RIGHT" THINGS IN YOUR MIND. NO MORE TRYING TO THINK PERFECTLY.

You create the feeling you want and from that thoughts come. That is a STATE [!!!]. Remove this idea that beliefs are hard to change and they are blockages in your subconscious.

bring yourself back to the Creator. Stop identifying yourself with the thoughts and understand they are coming FROM the FEELING.

FEEL what you have ALWAYS WANTED to feel, you will NATURALLY THINK-FROM that position. THAT IS A STATE. THAT IS LIVING IN THE END.

FREE YOURSELF IN YOUR MIND ENTIRELY. Stop caring if it will happen or what will happen, REALITY IS YOUR MIND. IT REFLECTS "SELF."

6: Honey

REMOVE ALL RULES!

"Should I? I Must! I Have To!"

These are rules we create in the Mind. Why do we do it? We do for the simple reason that we are trying to control the world. With our physical actions we are trying to control it.

(People who create rules) think the world is outside of them so they create all these rules to control it.

Start with the feeling that, "I can have and feel whatever I want in my mind."

★ free yourself of the rules you (or others) created. Free yourself in your mind. Fulfill your desires within as you want to.

7: I Am not going to tell you "You are Crazy"

we should do everything we want in our minds with no fear. Doing what we want, which is so simple, frees us.

The moment I have any desire in me, I fulfill it. I don't care what it is, how "big" or "small"! I DO NOT CONDITION IT OR WONDER IF IS POSSIBLE ANYMORE OR "GOING TO WORK".

If you really see your mind as the reality, and you fulfill your desires within, you will see how stupid it all is.

the greatest Self-Concepts, the greatest Feelings, the greatest Thoughts are the ones you WANT to have.

start with changing self radically. See yourself entirely different by feeling what you want to be.

When the feeling or desire comes upon you, THAT is the time to ACCEPT IN FULLNESS! Do not wait, do not put it off. Accept in fullness. That is truly what you want to do!

8: Feeling & SELF

Studying [the law] is one thing, actually accepting it another.

EVERYTHING is an assumption. All those thoughts you are thinking are assumptions, and THE MIND DOES NOT CARE WHAT YOU THINK.

how does one feel? The word is ACCEPTANCE. ACCEPT (your desire) ANYWAYS, ENTIRELY ACCEPT IT IN THE MIND!

Create this wonderful habit of accepting every wonderful desire that comes to you. Then you will become normal.

I thought we were suppose to manipulate and control the world. I thought we were suppose to imagine a scene and repeat over and over until it happened. I was wrong. "NO ONE OR NOTHING TO CHANGE BUT SELF!"

when you are panicking about so-so or what might happen or this or that, remember ONLY CHANGE SELF! There is nothing else to change, or nobody else you must change!

SELF is the way to control and manipulate the world. SELF is who you think you are and what you think you have WITHIN! This is a feeling.

9: If I Am then I will Be

"Nothing to change but SELF", "Feeling is the secret." Well, if there is nothing to change but self, how is feeling the secret? In order to change self, it changes through FEELING. This is so important because so many times, I have and others repeated countless affirmations to see little if any results. We repeat it 1000 times, hope it "sticks in the subconscious." Then we hear about feeling so we force feeling into it, and it changes us for a bit but then it becomes exhausting. It becomes exhausting because we feel that we HAVE TO feel this specific feeling or else.

There is no HAVE TO, but WANT TO. FEEL what you WANT to Feel. You discover what you want to feel by asking SELF inside. FEEL that. It does not matter what it is, just something you have always wanted to feel. This is what changes us.

Forcing affirmations, forcing feelings is not what you want. If you just changed the intention to feeling it because you want to feel it, because you want to fulfill all your desires within yourself with feeling, then you would be far happier.

SELF cannot fail at expressing. And SELF is ALL that you FEEL to BE and HAVE in your MIND! Allow yourself the freedom of FEELING what you want with no worry.

So SELF or yourself cannot fail you. You always express what you FEEL to be and FEEL to have. There is NO OTHER CREATOR IN YOUR MIND. None. You are doing it ALL in your mind. You give or you take. There is no other God in the Mind but you.

We are what we feel to be and have in Imagination and this dream world shapes to US.

10: Fearful Of Magnificence?

We should go beyond just granting wishes and start seeing ourselves highly in our minds.

You learn to stop fearing the wonderful feelings by seeing it is YOU who is holding yourself back.

Once you break through your own fear of wonderful feelings, you will see it was you all along. All fear are mental imaginings that you are creating within yourself. Knowing, you bring the power of CREATION BACK TO YOURSELF.

11: Self Identification

How can I BE what I want?

It lies in your IDENTIFICATION OF SELF. Do not be afraid but IDENTIFY yourself FULLY with the INNER MAN. The immortal you. The one that can do ANYTHING it wants. The one who owns the world and all that is in it. If you identify yourself with the inner man, you will be free.

The outer man see's nothing but limitations. He lives in desire. Too many of us have identified ourselves with what the outer-man HAS and IS, not seeing it is a reflection of the INNER MAN.

See what you HAVE and what you claiming yourself to BE WITHIN. THAT is what is reflected always.

You do not have to persuade others to help you [!!!]; all you need do is believe you are what you want to be and then let the world (which is nothing more than yourself pushed out) go to work to make your assumption possible. - Neville

How can you "believe you are what you want to be" when you the world is showing you otherwise? Again it comes down to "SELF" IDENTIFICATION. Conceptions of ourselves are what WE FEEL OURSELVES, OUR INNER MAN TO BE. The Inner Man has all the freedom to see and feel what it wants to be.

To the Inner Man EVERYTHING ALREADY IS TRUE, not to the outer. IT ALREADY IS SO, to the Inner Man. There is no convincing necessary, no 1,000 affirmations, no repeating over and over hoping it works, IF YOU IDENTIFY YOURSELF WITH THE INNER MAN.

You did not imagine "How" to get there, you are already there in imagination. Your issue is NOT in imagining the end, your issue lies in who you are identifying yourself with. If you imagine yourself in the end, which is easy, but then you identify yourself with the outer-man, you will breed nothing but frustrations.

"Disregard appearances, conditions, in fact all evidence of your senses that deny the fulfillment of your desire. Rest in the assumption that you are already what you want to be" - Neville

Leave the world as it is, with all of its denials and change yourself within and see how it is yourself pushed out.

So discard all beliefs of what you think you are, or what you have been called etc, and Identify yourself with the One Within and you will be free.

12: Personal Reality

stop thinking about the outer-world. You get rid of this 3D reality. You then FEEL that your inner world is YOUR reality. Your own PERSONAL reality, where you can do, have, and be what you want.

We are not trying to "make something happen" or "hope it manifests," rid yourself of these feelings. They will do nothing but block the wonderful feelings and experiences you want to have within. This is your own personal reality.

Once you create this personal reality where everything seems to go lovely, you will see that there is no one to blame for what you were previously imagining. Taking all responsibility for what happens WITHIN us, we can then use that power to change what we want WITHIN us.

13: No Permission Needed

Remember the outer-world is a reflection of what the INNER MAN has, is and does in their own Personal Inner Reality. That is you.

if we wish to have radical change, let's radically change the INNER MAN. Give the INNER MAN what they want. That is, radically change your own Personal Inner Reality.

"DARE to assume" DARE to FEEL (accept) what you want. Without doing that, you remain as you are.

THE INNER MAN NEEDS NO PERMISSION! THE INNER MAN DOES NOT CARE WHETHER OR NOT IT IS POSSIBLE! So in your Personal Reality, your Mind, understand you need no permission to FEEL what you want to feel. No permission whether not it is "possible". Identify yourself with the INNER MAN who is FREE to do, feel and be what they want!

Your Personal Inner Reality is not bound by the facts of this life. In the Reality Within, you can go back in memory and change what you want. It is YOURS to change!

Daily FEEL what you want to feel and experience what you want in Imagination which is your true SELF, the SELF that is reflected in front of you.

14: The God Of The World Of Imagination!

There is this world, the World of the Senses, and there is another world, the World of Imagination. There is a Man who experiences the World of the Senses, which we call the Outer-Man. Then there is another Man who experiences the World of Imagination. We call that Man the INNER MAN.

The Outer-Man sees the limitations and restrictions in the World of the Senses. The Outer-Man feels he is limited and confined to the ‘facts’ of life. The Outer-Man goes through life fully convinced that this World of the Senses is happening to him not from him. He uses only his five senses to move in this World. So naturally he feels like a victim and desires to control this world through the means of force, manipulation etc. The Outer-Man feels fear that life can throw at him things that he is not prepared for. Situations he does not want to encounter but since he feels powerless, he fears the future. Since he cannot change the past, he guilt himself over it. This is how he is limited.

Then there is the Inner-Man who lives in the World of Imagination. In this World, he is unlimited and can create what he wishes. He is free beyond measure and everything that he can be conceive of is his. Everything. Not one thing is not his because he is the Creator of it!

THERE IS NO OBJECTIVE OUTER-MAN. The Outer-Man is simply an expression of the Inner Man. The only Man that exists is the Inner Man. There is NO OBJECTIVE WORLD OF THE SENSES. The World of the Senses, is but the expression of the World of Imagination.

The Inner Man can convince himself that he is this Outer-Body living in this dangerous world but he is still the Inner Man fooling himself into that!

PART 15: Awakening

What the Inner Man FEELS himself to BE and FEELS himself to HAVE in the World of Imagination is what will be EXPRESSED in this World of the Senses.

you are an INNER individual living in the World Of Imagination. In this World, you are God. You can imagine anything. All things are possible here in this world, INCLUDING the FULFILLMENT of your desire. You can change SELF to what you want. And SELF is what you THINK you HAVE and what you THINK you ARE in this World of Imagination. Read that sentence again. And SELF, THAT SELF, is what is EXPRESSED.

As you read this, you are living in this 3D world. You own things within it, you HAVE things. Based on what you HAVE in this 3D world, you create identities for yourself. Remember, we CLAIM we ARE things BASED on what we THINK WE "HAVE."

stop identifying yourself with this 3D world, which is simply an expression of INNER SELF, if you stop identifying yourself with what this 3D person "HAS," and start identifying yourself with the INNER MAN, you will see the freedom.

in this 3D world, we give ourselves identities based on what we THINK (FEEL) we HAVE. So if we can identify ourselves with the INNER MAN, and in that world we HAVE the things we want, we can then give ourselves a new identity.

stop thinking you are "only imagining" this. I want you to stop thinking what you are seeing in your mind is "fake." I want you to stop reacting to what you do not want to react to you. I want you to stop FEELING limited by this World of the Senses. I want you to stop worrying about HOW or WHEN it is going to happen and instead FEEL secure KNOWING this 3D world reflects what your INNER SELF HAS AND IS WITHIN. I want you to FEEL you are limitless within because you are! You do not have to bow down to this world and accept what you THINK it says about you. I want you to FEEL yourself to be the creator of everything within you.

Can you accept that you HAVE what you want because you see yourself (INNER SELF) with it, and everything in this World of Imagination is yours and is real?

PART 16: "What Else?"

How I enter into a New State of Consciousness? Death. Death is the only way. How does one die to a State of Consciousness? By surrendering to the New State. You cannot enter into a New State taking with you all the limitations, questions, and worries of the Old State. The Inner Self must be exalted but it cannot be exalted by holding 2 contradictory States.

When you imagine having exactly what you want in your mind, you do not question anything, you do not worry, you do not wonder "what if," you do not entertain the Old State and its limitations for one second. You die to it entirely.

You cannot bring your current limitations, worries, questions and FEELINGS with you to your New State.

The States or Concepts you hold in the Imagination are nothing but things you "hold." That is it. You think because the concept you are holding is reflecting in your world somehow makes it more "real?" I assure you it is not. It does not really matter if it is being reflected.

PART 17: Dream The Dream

remove the outer-world and remove the idea of "trying to manifest" and simply have the attitude of changing your INNER WORLD to your liking. Here is nothing to do, nothing to force on the outside. You change it, you mold it, you feel it and you do it all within you. You create a new dream, a perfect dream within you.

To "try to manifest," is a feeling. "Trying to get, trying to resolve, trying to make something happen," are FEELINGS you take with you before you imagine. These feelings are what disrupt you from actually FEELING what you want to feel. Instead FEEL that you are solely going to re-imagine, or re-dream a new dream WITHIN YOU and you will change you FEELING how you feel within. These changes is what expresses itself in the world. So if you wish to change the outer-world, leave it alone. Leave it alone and go within and change THAT WORLD, the world WITHIN. Change who you are THERE, change what you have THERE, change how you are treated THERE. Dream up a new World Within!

PART 18: Expansion

what you are seeing in your mind is not fake. And not only is it NOT fake, you can shape it PRECISELY how you want to shape it.

In order to actually lose yourself in the imaginal act, one must accept it is real and let go entirely of the outer-world. One must suspend rational thinking, and just accept it is real.

In order to access this feeling you must not be afraid to assume it is Real. If you are not FEELING it then that means you are still bound by your senses and this outer-world. You need to allow yourself the Freedom to Expand BEYOND the rational mind that is keeping you from experiencing your Wish being granted. You cannot be afraid anymore to feel and imagine what you want.

PART 19: Boldness

Your Mind is your own Personal Reality and you have the power to shape it PRECISELY, and FEEL what you want in it!

This is about giving the Inner Self what you want.

PART 20: Receptivity

Now we come to Denying. That is to say that we must truly let go of what the Outer World is showing us. True Denial is not looking at your World and merely repeating, "It does not exist," but is actually ACCEPTING the new reality within you. You do not deny being unwanted, by stating your are not unwanted. You deny unwantedness with the ACCEPTANCE of being wanted. It is our ACCEPTANCE of our Imagination which is our DENIAL of the senses. So Denying is not something you do, it is the implication of your ACCEPTANCE of the Imaginal Scene.

To stress yourself on whether you are "denying" the evidence of your senses enough is an unnecessary stressor. You do not fight against your senses for they only reflect you. Because "True Denial" as Neville says is "total indifference." But to be totally indifferent about your senses, you must ACCEPT your Imagination as the Reality. To become "indifferent" is an emerging consequence of accepting Imagination as the One and Only Reality.

You cannot wait for the world to change to what you want. You must change what you are and have in Imagination. If you are tired of what your world is reflecting, you can be confident it will keep reflecting that until you change YOU inside your Consciousness. This calls for radically giving yourself what you desire IN Consciousness.

PART 21: Irrationality

Chances are you truly are NOT giving yourself what you want because you feel some impossibly in it. Forget that. All things are possible in the Imagination. Do it anyway. Just do it. Do what? What you deeply want. Do you for only you, you Inner Self.

PART 22: The Dreamer

Never seeing he is the Creator, the Cause he always fails. The idea that he does not have to do anything, he does not have to work his way out - this idea is lunacy to the Outer-Man. He thinks, "No, there must be a way that I just have not figured out yet." So he goes on seeking outside of himself, yet he himself is a desiring self, and only seeing his reflection, he only see's his desires. Never obtaining them, always seeking them, frustrations, rage, jealousy all stir up within him. Hating his world, hating what he see's, hating his own reflection he wants to destroy it. He cannot win because he lives in a position of fear and failure, and what is within will be without because Man can only give what is within himself.

If only he were to stop hating his reflection, and saw that the mirror only reflects what he is doing, he would be free. If only he were to see the mirror is stationary and does not judge but simply reflects. If only he were to see himself in the mirror and see he is the Creator, he would be free.

He does not have to cope with his limitations, he does not have to fight his way out. He will stop feeling after his fears and become indifferent about them for they are his Creation and has no power over him.

The Dreamer abandons limitations and turns towards his desires and gives it to himself fully. The Dreamer will always dream beyond what his limitations dictate.

PART 23: Unconditional Thinking

To truly grasp the freedom that is attainable within you, you must understand the concept of States. A State is a belief about the yourself or what you believe you will experience, an attitude towards life. There are infinite statues (states) that lie dormant within you. They do not disappear, for nothing can disappear in Imagination. The acceptance that you are the State now, is what brings life to these dormant statues.

If entering into a New State within you is challenging it is because you have not accepted who you are within. You are not a State, but is God. As God within, whose permission are you asking for? To whom do you answer to? If there is only One Being within you, then who can stop you?

If you wish to rise as something New in Imagination, you have to give up entirely your currently thoughts/feelings, questions, worries, what you think of the world, what you think is possible, if you think you are worthy or not, if you deserve the New State etc.

"Don't tell me anything!" That is the secret. Total self-abandonment to the current State is the way to bring life towards the New State.

You have to die to what you do not want to express entirely, a true act of surrender. You can do it.

leave the world alone and go within and die to what you want to stop expressing and allow yourself to be what you want. Imagination is the evidence you are seeking for it is the only reality.

Assume all works in your favor to express your States. This is how the Imagination works. Everything within you is yourself for the taking. Think unconditionally.

💬 may u had a lovely read... ♡ i see u next post!

#neville goddard #loa advice #loatumblr #loa blog #law of assumption #manifesting #living in the end #edward art #law of abundance #loa tumblr #void state #States #wish fulfillment #Dream life #I am #I am god #healing #motivation

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azen13 · 5 months ago

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So sadly I didn't get the chance to write today because I had a bunch of stuff going on. But! I had a lot of time to think so I have ideas (for once!).

CW: Yandere Themes, Stalking

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Yandere!Alhaitham x Reader, but both of you are reincarnates of King Deshret and the God/dess of Flowers respectively. All those centuries ago, you drove each other mad. Deshret drove you mad by encaging you in gardens built upon honeyed words and sweet lies, and you drove him mad by fleeing from him and dying soon after.

Let's fast forward to Sumeru's Archon Quest. Let's say something goes horribly wrong, and when Alhaitham uses the Divine Knowledge Capsule, it turns out it's the real one.

He is flooded with memories of the past. Of flowers in eternal bloom. Of love, pure and unbounded. You are its focal point. You, a normal Amurta scholar working part-time at the House of Daena, are the missing variable he has sought all his life. He doesn't know how he knows it, but something in the depths of his heart has clicked like the opening of something long hidden away.

While he does care about this discovery of a past life, its importance is superseded by you. Almost immediately, he begins doing...data collection. Your hobbies. Your favorites books. Your sleep schedule. Where you live. Friends. Family. All of it. Alhaitham records every piece of information in his mind with an almost zealous focus.

His plan to bring you back in his arms is flawless; slowly, almost painfully so, he worms his way into your life, latching onto any possible connection he can find between the two of you. You like this book? Alhaitham has read the entire series. If you'd like, you can borrow the next one from him. You're studying the impact of Ley Line abnormalities on the forest floor of Sumeru's rainforests? Alhaitham knows quite a bit on Sumeru's ecology from all the papers and the theses he's read. After all, as the Scribe, he's aware of many of the inner workings of the Akademiya, including many different research projects. Including yours. Do let him in, otherwise he might have to resort to...more unsavory methods, like cutting your funding.

After all, in the end, he's doing this for your benefit, right? He failed to give you paradise once. With all this new knowledge under his belt, he will succeed. No matter what.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere drabble #yandere imagine #yandere genshin #yandere genshin x reader #yandere alhaitham #yandere alhaitham x reader #for some reason alhaitham gives me major imgonnagetyouback vibes #i NEED to wok on alhaitham's characterization he's so interesting to me #HELPPPP #i want to do a longer project based on this idea but the likelihood i stop halfway through is uhm #its probably guaranteed #but! we well try #also mastermind vibes from midnights

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suhnshinehaos · 9 months ago

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growing pains : act three, part fifteen (2/2)

series synopsis : people say that you’ll experience three kinds of love in your lifetime. the first is an idealistic love, the kind that feels straight out of a fairy tale. the second is the hard love, the kind that will leave you with lessons about yourself and the love you want and need to experience. finally, the love you never see coming. this is the story of your three loves. pairing : svt 97 line x gn!reader genre/s : non-idol au, coming of age, angst, fluff, my attempts at humor act three, part fifteen (2/2) wc : 1k

act three : the unexpected love ➤ part 15 : infinite mornings

after years studying and working abroad, yn is finally back home to a new job and new faces. all they want now is to focus on nothing else but their career and one of their coworker’s friends, minghao, makes it all the more interesting.

previous ➤ act three, part fifteen (1/2) next ➤ act three, part sixteen growing pains ➤ masterlist

you have to stop yourself from running your fingers through his hair. it falls just past his brows, and the salty sea breeze covers your arms in goosebumps.

or perhaps it’s just because you could feel his knuckles brushing against your skin.

minghao has to stop himself from reaching out and grabbing your hand. he knows it would feel warm against his, a welcome reprieve from the cold morning air.

but he settles on keeping his hands stuffed in the pockets of his pants.

there’s a silence that envelops the two of you, and he’s waiting for you to say whatever it was you wanted to say. there’s a million thoughts that’s racing through his mind. while he cherishes each moment he spent with you, he can’t help but wonder what made you want to move this little bit trip up so fast. and on such short notice too.

you notice the small furrow between his brows. “what are you thinking about?”

“whatever it is you’re thinking about.”

his voice is calm, collected, and for some reason it sets a fluttery feeling in the pit of your stomach. it felt silly, really, having a little crush. if you could even call it that. you’re no longer a teenager, noticing that your closest childhood friend has been growing cuter and cuter over the years. you’re no longer a college student or in your early twenties holding on to a relationship that isn’t officially one.

this was an entirely different thing. you’re both well into your twenties. he’s a respected figure in your industry, and you’d like to think that you were on your way to becoming one too. if this new opportunity goes the way you hope it does.

the two of you sit on a couple of rocks by the shore, knees and shoulders brushing. it’s quite uncomfortable, but neither of you shift in position.

“minghao, can i be honest?”

“with me? always, yn.” he looks at you, and he doesn’t ask what made you wonder that, he just waits for you to continue.

“i’m terrified, hao.”

minghao pushes past his initial apprehension and reaches out to place his hand on top of yours, urging you to tell him more. if you were going to be brave enough to tell him what’s bothering you, he was going to be brave enough to let you know that he stands by you through it. even in the simplest gesture that he could think of.

you take a deep breath and let it all out. jihoon going on tour, and the multiple photoshoots that seungcheol has booked for you along the way — with publications and people that you thought you would only dream of ever working with.

“and i wonder-” you pause, and minghao squeezes your hand. “what if i’m not cut out for this? seungcheol and ji are placing so much trust in me and i don’t know if i can live up to that! i’m not you-”

“you’re going to do great.”

minghao cuts you off, and the certainty in his words takes you aback. you blink and let out a breath. “how do you know?”

“you’re not me.”

minghao lets go of your hand and you try not to feel disappointed at the loss of contact. you still do, but the disappointment disappears when he places his hands on your shoulders to look you in the eyes. your heart threatens to beat out of your chest.

“you’re you, yn. you’re creative in ways that i’m not, free and dynamic and you’re going to do wonderful because you are. you’re not me, and i’m not you. just because your strengths are different from mine doesn’t mean you’re less than me.”

you manage a smile, and he offers you a smile back.

“you might actually just be better than me.”

you roll your eyes and shrug his hands off your shoulders, still trying to quell the beating of your heart. “well now you’re pushing it.”

minghao chuckles, low and soft. “i’m more worried about who i’m going to be making tea for.”

“i’m sure you’ll live.” you shake your head, the weight in your chest slowly starting to disappear. the worry is still there, but minghao’s words offer you a sense of comfort.

minghao holds a hand over his heart, pretending like he had just been shot. he smiles wider when you laugh. “you underestimate my need to make you tea in the morning.”

“well, infinite mornings.”

you echo what he had once said to you and minghao hopes you don’t notice the heat rising to his cheeks. he holds on to the bravery and confidence he had earlier, “that only works if you come back to me.”

“will you be waiting?” you laugh, tilting your head up to the pale blue sky and hoping he doesn’t notice the slight shake in your voice. if he doesn’t answer, you could chalk it up to just a joke. but still you hold your breath.

he nudges your shoulder with his, making you look back at him. “with tea and a smile.”

the air stills and you let out an exhale. you’re not too sure what to say, before you could even think of the right words, minghao’s voice once again falls on your ears.

“do your best, like i know you will. just shine.”

you think of all the words of wisdom and comfort he’s said to you, the advice he’s given, the several impromptu photoshoots with him, “i will, for you.”

“not for me.” minghao shakes his head. “for you.”

you nod, and you take out your phone to confirm to seungcheol that you’ll be going. minghao listens to your call with a proud smile, a slight sting in his heart knowing how much he’d miss you.

then again, infinite mornings.

he just hopes you hold up to your end of the bargain, because he definitely will.

from reese, with love

there aren't enough words to describe how much i missed ynhao, writing in general, and being on here. thank you so much for reading this, i can't make any promises right now but i missed this. i'd really love to know what you think, hope you're doing well and taking care!

#🎐 — growing pains!#seventeen x reader #minghao x reader #seokmin x reader #mingyu x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen smau #seventeen fluff #seventeen series #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt fluff #svt smau #svt series #minghao imagines #minghao fluff #minghao smau

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respectthepetty · 2 months ago

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Petty, I respect you.

I do.

However.

DONT BE QUITE ABOUT THE COLOURS IN ON1Y 1 BECAUSE I WILL READ A FULL THESIS ON IT, 20 PAGES!!!! 50 PAGES!!!!

PLEASEEEE Give

Meeeeeeeee 🥹

Anon,

You've opened a floodgate.

Because I always notice the colors, but just because I see colors doesn't mean I know why they are significant. Even if I see there is a pattern, it doesn't mean I understand its importance. And I don't think y'all should be subject to me screaming about Jiang Tian's paper bookmarks being yellow and pink in a book of (love?) poems where he has highlighted that "a girl's shyness is like a tender cherry under the sunlight" and "16- and 17-year-olds are like fruits in the morning sun, sparkling."

Sheng Wang asks who this is about, but we know who this is about. The colors mean things.

And more importantly, I actually didn't write weekly or episodic posts about shows until 2022. I used to wait until a show was over to write about the colors or background noise, and, mostly, I only did it when people would ask me about it. Big Dragon was the first show that I felt compelled to write weekly about the colors and background noise because it was so amazing, so 2024 is still an odd space for me to be in sometimes because as much as I love colors, I'm ALWAYS surprised how much y'all want to know about them . . . weekly . . . per episode . . . for all the shows.

I write for myself, but sometimes I think y'all don't need to witness me losing my shit every week for sixteen weeks over obviously color-coded characters in The Loyal Pin.

And sometimes I think y'all don't want to witness me losing my shit over colors that I can't completely understand like the grays in 4 Minutes.

And then other times I think y'all shouldn't have to witness me losing my shit over colors that I'm not sure are colors until I've watched enough episodes to feel sure that the colors are, in fact, coloring; then, the series, The Trainee, actually tells me the colors were coloring the entire time like I thought.

And that's why I try to be quiet about shows because I'm figuring them out in my head, or I'm waiting for enough information to feel confident about them, and I don't want to hog up the tag with my ramblings. I need to sit in it a bit to figure out what the colors mean.

Kiseki: Dear to Me was the perfect example. I didn't mention anything about colors until prompted by others because it took me until the third episode to feel certain that Chen Yi and Ai Di matched colors, then it took me close to the end of the series to realize all the cameo couples ALSO matched colors.

It took me until the end of My Love Mix-Up to realize Aoki's color had evolved.

It took me two seasons (and a movie) to feel secure that Kiyoi was a Heavenly Human in My Beautiful Man.

And it took me until midway through Semantic Error to figure out why the red disappeared.

That's how The On1y One is for me. I knew yellow/orange and blue would play some part in the story based on the posters, but I wasn't sure how until I started seeing more visuals appear.

Because even though I saw a yellow container of food for Sheng Wang in the first episode,

I didn't realize he mostly ate color-coded food until episode four.

It's such a tiny detail, so I could have easily missed it, but because I know that he is a picky eater, I feel like it's not simply a coincidence, and I quickly noticed it in the eighth episode.

But I needed to collect more images before I could state that. I needed to let the story develop before I realized it. I needed to settle into it. And that's why I wrote my halfway point post after a few people asked if I noticed.

Because I know I seem like a magician who shouts a lot, but I'm not. Sometimes, I have to be patient and let the colors sneak up on me while I'm simply enjoying the moment, like Sheng Wang's orange alarm clock nestled into the corner of his bed while he falls asleep on his light yellow pillow in his light yellow shirt.

I know not all visuals can be a literal bright yellow sign hanging from the color-coded boy's room, ya know?

I'm not Jenny who cannot grasp that she keeps taking food and drinks meant for Benny even when he realized if she could figure out the mug was about gay rights without realizing he was gay then someone smarter will along and piece the dots together . . .

Because like, girl, he's gay.

But it does take me time to collect images and get my thoughts in order, so until then, I'm going to be quiet.

Or as quiet as a loud ass like me can be.

#the on1y one #I won't move past that mug #like girl . . .#piece the dots together #the colors mean things #color coded boys in love #I'm trying to be quiet #I need to collect more images #I need to organize my thoughts #I need to live in the mess for a bit

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child-of-helios · 28 days ago

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CALLING ALL PJO AND HOO FANS!!!!

Did I get your attention? Yes? Good. I feel that I need to fix my writing skills and thus I have decided to rewrite the entire HoO series to fix some problems I (and perhaps you) have with it as well as to add foreshadowing for fics I'm planning that take place afterwards.

Am I claiming that my writing is better than that of Rick's? God no, I'm a child with internet access and a Greek Myth obsession, but I still think that it would be a lovely writing exercise and if anything I'd practice a bit more.

That's why I'm coming to you, dear readers and Tumblr users, for ideas. What plotline did you dislike? Which character would you like to have seen portrayed slightly differently? Which ideas and concepts would you like to see implemented? What problems and issues do you have with the books that I may be able to include in my fic?

I ask this not because I'll do every single one, but because I'd like to find some I agree with and/ or inspire me. Hell, I might not even write/ finish it, but isn't that the joy of fanfiction? Its just a collection of nerds spending too much time with their little guys and gals in stories.

Um anyways, I think that I will unfortunately have to add a bunch of tags to get some actual traction. Sorry if that annoys anyone!

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takes1 · 3 months ago

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Hi !!! Hope u had a great day:)

I’d like to request some fluff with maybe Kuroo or Akaashi?

Take care of urself, love u (nd ur works !!)💗

hi!! thank you so much and ty for the request! take care and much love babes!! i kinda ended up using this more fluffy req as a backdrop for a kenma/kuroo/reader series idea i had ;)

warnings. sfw, fluffy / nsfw to follow in future parts

info. fem!reader / kenma-esque!reader / flirty!kuroo / kuroo with a crush / TA!reader / collegeau / quiet-shy!reader / future kenmaxreaderxkuroo / 900 words. reply to be added to taglist

haikyuu collection here.

more links. my ao3. masterlist.

If it wasn't for how slow this class dragged, Kuroo never would have raised a hand for the TA to come over and look over his syntax file.

But he had no intention of staying later, nor getting a shit grade because his lines were wrong, so he resorted to somewhat-desperate measures. Not like the guys at his table were any help, anyway. Two of them never got off their phones, and one was packing up after he breezed through the assignment.

Glazed eyes rolled, semi-jealous, mostly disinterested, over the seat becoming vacant next to him. Try-hard.

It filled with a much better view. How hadn't he noticed the TA was a chick before?

"What's the issue?" You asked, unbelievably quiet and even.

A couple clicks on his keyboard, which he noticed was not perfectly clean at this moment, and a different file replaced the first.

The light reflected back in your eyes- big, and wide, yet completely expressionless. It was familiar, in a way, and he felt almost drawn into you to look for how, or why. He leaned closer just by an inch.

"Nothin'," He mumbled, eyes bouncing back and forth from your face to his laptop, "Just wanted a check."

You didn't look at him. In fact, you weren't going to. He stared at the side of your face and found that you harbored none of the same curiosity for him.

Did he know you from somewhere else?

Unlikely. You looked like you didn't get out much.

"You should take a look at your third line, it's off," You sighed, glancing around the room to locate two more hands up.

Just as you started to stand up and leave him to figure out what was wrong, his chatter demanded that you stay a moment longer.

"Couldn't you just- I don't know, tell me what's wrong with it?" He smirked.

You turned towards him, unamused, and he realized exactly who you reminded him of.

A very handsome, entertained grin filled his face while you explained that it's not your job to do his work.

In the middle of your next sentence, he shamelessly cut you off in a rush of excitement, eyes darting, curious but certainly not innocent, over every bit of you.

"That's it! Kenma-," He chuckled, leaning back in his seat.

"--What-, what?" Your brow furrowed, just about the only emotion you had expressed yet, at his off-putting and ill-timed realization.

"You're just, uh-," He tapped his pencil, tentative, on the desk, and let it go, "You're totally my buddy's type."

"Is that a joke?"

"No! No," He smiled and rubbed his face, clearly occupied with a flurry of thoughts, and somehow settled on, "You should give me your number," In the midst of it all.

You turned around without another word and left to help the other students.

He sat, dumbfounded, still grinning open-mouthed as his pencil rolled off of his desk and hit the floor.

Part of him just couldn't believe he was so off of his usual game. He couldn't recall any other time he had been shut down like that; at least not by a girl.

And yet, it further proved his point since that was something Kenma had done to him multiple times.

He stayed for the entire class just to talk to you again. He had slightly more intelligence than to try and get your help again, so he waited until the room cleared out and you were packing up to attempt smoothing things over.

You visibly straightened, book clutched harder to your chest, when he approached.

"I'm sorry," Kuroo held his hands out in a way that made him seem a bit more harmless, but you didn't let up, "Honest, I didn't mean to freak you out back there."

The guy was tall -towering, even- and his black t-shirt left little to the imagination. You didn't often associate with guys like him, if at all. It threw you off that he kept trying to talk to you.

Your nose was scrunched just a little. Exactly like Kenma when he got upset about something. This time, he kept his cute aggression to himself with a sobering breath.

"I'm Kuroo." He held his hand out for you to shake.

Oh, God. You hated handshakes.

He bit back a smile.

"I'm... (Y/n)," Hesitant, you returned it and tried not to think too hard about how giant his hand was.

It got a lot harder the longer you looked up at him. You felt your face getting warm when you noticed how broad his shoulders were, even when stooped down to come across as more friendly.

"I get not wanting to give your number out," He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, "So I'll just give you mine."

It wasn't until later that you realized there were actually two numbers written down, and you would have no clue which one was his.

"You sure you don't wanna go grab a coffee or something?"

His crooked grin was something out of a romantic novel, but all it did was make you shrink. His even bigger grin told you he already knew the answer.

An instant no- every part of you wanted to get away from this guy so you could just relax again.

"Fair enough," He wasn't subtle in the way he glanced around your face, your hair, your eyes, before tearing himself away, "Just think about it, yeah?"

taglist:

none! reply to be added for future parts

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madphantom · 1 year ago

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I love how earnestly pathetic China Sorrows is when it comes to having a crush. Girlie has zero communication skills. The guy broke up with her and the natural consequence for her was to murder him and his entire family but then he CAME BACK and she doomed herself to years and years of awkward interactions, so she got a literal self destruct button in case he gets confrontational. In the first scene in which she interacts with him in the series she tries to flirt with him and it doesn't work the slightest bit and this is apparently a regular occurrence. They have a big falling out and instead of making it up in some big dramatic way he just hits her up with a text like "hi hello I kinda hate you but you're useful, come back". She thinks she's going to die a dramatic death fighting side by side with him and he'll at least tell her he needs her and he DOES but he just needs her because she can help him save his best friend. She has wet dreams about a man 300 years after he broke up with her. The entire time there's thousands of other people of all genders throwing themselves at her feet. She's doing all this because of a man who has an entire room in his house dedicated to his hat collection and whose social skills consist of either calling people ugly or straight up threatening to shoot them because he's book smart but a dumb fuck in conversation. Truly the woman of all time.

#personal post #skulduggery pleasant #china sorrows

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eatmangoesnekkid · 5 months ago

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One thing I struggled with when I was in my 20s during my coming-of age-story of blooming into Goddess spirituality as taught by one of my mentors/muses was how semen was healthy for the female body. This is a common way of thinking with those who practice tantra, kama sutra, divine union, ancient temple arts, etc., and what is pushed in "Goddess- centered" and of course heteronormative patriarchal women spaces. However, the most disciplined, healthy, regenerative, mentally-clear men will always practice semen retention, which means that they would NOT release their semen into a woman's body during sex, and would circulate it internally throughout their own body to increase their organs' vitality instead, unless both parties were desiring to procreate a child. The thinking that semen was generally healthy for the female body as also taught in one of my favorite books "The Sexual Secrets of the White Tigress (a book I obviously don't completely agree with but helped to expand my consciousness) never fully added up with me and no one could ever answer my inquiry that "if semen is so healthy for the female body, why do the healthiest, strongest men have to practice semen retention....why would the divine be so cognitive-dissonant..lol?" I would not be surprised if our Western world had a centuries-old, clandestine operation to weaken both the female and the male body so that neither one of us would know our full power and magical potential. And I know many women whose pH balance and vaginal biomes gets out of wack after having penetrative sex with their male lover. There is so much division and anti-male propaganda out there, and that's not what I'm up to nor is it a conversation or line of thinking I would ever participate in. I'm more interested in women and other female-bodied people coming into our full alive power and magic—softening and strengthening our bodies and life force energy, expanding our minds, integrating our shadows, and birthing real authentically beautiful lives of rest, nourishment, regeneration, adventure, and ease that shift the collective energy forward into more love and life-giving resolutions. I wrote this to encourage those with female bodies to question everything, including me, because the "truth," whatever that means, will also influence your entire physiology overtime. What I know is that most of what we have been taught are lies and made up by men and patriarchal-centered women, for the benefit of men. Many of you have asked me private questions around working out and getting back active and strong in your body, but also express how tired and inflame your body is, could this be why? Because what I also know is that there are plenty of men who dump their stress, disappointments in life, rage, anger, and the like into women's bodies when they ejaculate therefore women have to be more intuitive and mindful in choosing lovers. But there is so much unlearning that every human must be willing to do in order to live healthier more emotionally-intelligent lifestyles thereby be awake enough to not continue to make a series of bad decisions in life. Because there are plenty of healthy, dutiful, deeply loving men out there to choose from if/when you are interested. May the veil of conditioning be lifted from the inner eye so that you begin to know who you truly are. Elevate your frequency so that you CAN be more grounded, centered and clear in your choosing. And what's also true is there is valid nuance as well that I won't be able to go into here on this blog at this time. -India Ame'ye, Author

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makethosenarratorsfight · 11 months ago

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UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; THE FINAL FINAL

Shen Qingqiu Propaganda:

The entire series is told from his POV and the story seems like a comedy. The side stories from other characters POVs make the story sound like a tragedy. He thought that Luo Binghe hated him and wanted him dead while everyone else knew that Binghe was in love with him.

the whole book he’s using his OWN interpretation of the world to explain literally everything, not knowing that his introduction into the world changed it so fundamentally that his prior knowledge of it is less than useless. he’s like “binghe is being sweet to me because binghe is sweet to people that wronged him before repaying their slight a thousandfold, and he only adds their acceptance of his sweetness to his tally of their sins!! i have to run away forever or he’ll tear my arms and legs off!!!!!!” and binghe in reality is like “wow the love of my life my beloved shizun is scared of me still :( i should act sweet and nonthreatening so he’s not scared of me :(“ and he literally doesn’t have this corrected until the end of the book. but even when that one thing is corrected he still is like “haha okay but these other six things-“ bro……. cucumber bro………….. you homosexualized the world just accept it

He examines the entire reality he's isekai-ed into as if it's still fictional and his inner monologue ignores any "character trait" of the people around him that doesn't fit into his perception of "canon" despite everything he's done to change reality from the canon of the novel he first read. He routinely mislabels his own emotions as well as making heteronormative assumptions about himself and the people around him before he finally realises he's in reciprocated gay love with a man. It's a book that benefits being read twice, so the second time around you can focus on the implications Shen Qingqiu blatantly misses.

Transmigrates into a novel he “hates,” assumes he’s doing a good job pretending to be the character whose body he got stuck in, assumes other characters will stick to their original paths. Lotta assumptions, lots of rationalizing, lots of incredible feats of misunderstanding/misinterpreting things. His internal narration is also hysterical.

Lemony Snicket Propaganda:

(I would like to preface this by saying that Lemony Snicket is the author's pen name, not a real person, and he exists as a character in-universe as well as being the one in-universe who writes the books!) I'd say he's unreliable because he spent time collecting information about the Baudelaire kids and then... wrote books about it. He has no idea what any of their dialogue actually was, what they were thinking, or even the whole plot, he's just doing research into the incidents and then filling in the gaps to make it a story. What ACTUALLY happened to the Baudelaires? Nobody really knows for sure

While the Baudelaire siblings are in potentially life threatening danger, he will randomly start talking about his own life and just leave the siblings hanging. For example, once Count Olaf was threatening to kill Violet, and then Lemony randomly began talking about how he met the love of his life at a costume party. This man CANNOT stay on topic. Usually when a new character is introduced, Lemony tells us right at the start that they’re either going to die or that the Baudelaire siblings will never see them again. Foreshadowing is not subtle in these books. CONSTANTLY emphasizes how miserable he feels while writing these books. At one point he admits that he had to put his pencil down and go cry for a while because of how sad it made him. Once he filled an entire page with nothing but the word “ever” to emphasize how dangerous it is to put forks in electrical outlets. He also repeated a paragraph about deja vu later on in the book to give the reader deja vu.

#unreliable narrators #final final #polls #unreliable narrator battle #shen qingqiu #sqq #svsss #scum villain #scum villain self saving system #lemony snicket #a series of unfortunate events #asoue #asoue books #asoue netflix

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themotherofblood · 1 year ago

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Hello! If applications for the Bloody Baby series are open, can I ask for an evening of stories? They are all together by the fireplace and the baby asks about their past as she is fond of history. And at your discretion, sex during the conversation.

absolutely yes!! I’m gonna do smut on the next one :) on this one and focus on the fluff, mainly because your prompt will be great for answering some questions about our lovely vamp daemyra! What, How, When? Thank you for the request. Also Chanel exists in Modern! Westeros. Do what you will with that info hehe

Vampire!Daemon x fem!reader x Vampire!Rhaenyra

masterlist | bloody baby series | vampire au

Warnings: mentions of murder, anti!green, mentions of genocide and blood (obviously)

You groaned awake, hearing the birds chirp outside and rays of sunshine bleeding in your bedroom. You stretched out your legs, whimpering at the gentle sting that made itsself very apparent. Patches of bandages stuck to your right inner thigh and left jugular. One on your wrist that only stopped bleeding as of yesterday. You shuffled off the bed, the floor under your feet was warm (heated) as you padded your feet over to the bathroom.

Daemon had ordered the attendants clearly, while he does enjoy your figure prancing around in just a shirt, visually your little human body looked much stirring in the pretty dresses Daemon and Rhaenyra had filled in your closet to the brim. At first you would gawk, terrified at all clothes. You doubted even blood donation for money could afford you such labels. Your newest excitement however was realizing the entire collection of Chanel ballet flats just casually laying at the bottom of the shoe shelf. You had with much joy, slipped on the baby pink pair over your white socks and headed out to breakfast.

Their head housekeeper had informed you that they had not returned yet. Rhaenyra and Daemon had headed out to hunt, while they relished the taste of your blood on their tongue. They could only drain you (safely) so many times, leaving a few days to let you recover and replenish your blood before sinking their teeth in once more. Rhaenyra found it mildly discomforting to be around you while she was hungry, a craving is one thing— hunger is death.

You felt like a kidnapped princess stuck in a castle, very much like Beauty and the Beast but Rhaenyra and Daemon were anything but beasts. While there had been no formal rules around the palace, you never ventured around it much. The first few weeks your anxiety tore at your so hard, if you weren’t awake and servicing the two of them or being fed on. You were sleeping, heart heavy and away in a dream world. You wondered often, what they did about the life you came from?

Your halted progression to a university degree, your part time job at the cafè, your mother—you wondered if she tried to cash out your life insurance yet. Your friends, they might have been the only ones a little worried, it felt like a child being grounded, having all your technology away. There was a theatre, they told you about it and yet you were too afraid to touch it. This wasn’t your home.

Once you had very throughly enjoyed your breakfast of eggs on toast, you would have taken a right from the main corridor back to your wing, instead you walked forward toward the east wing. It felt intrusive to do so but your curiousity began eating at you, living in a palace built nearly a thousand years ago. Every trim on the ceiling had a story to tell.

What you stumbled across was a gallery, of small paintings to giant seven foot paintings, over time you had hunch of who Daemon and Rhaenyra were. Their names so prevalent in history, in a world ages ago when this continent was known as Westeros, if the books were true. You pitied them. There was painting right at the end of the corridor, perhaps the biggest one hung. The fine oil painting, aged and masterful.

You could recognize Rhaenyra in it, sat with a swaddled baby in her arms with Daemon stood next to her. Three boys of brown hair, two boys of white. Two dark skinned little girls and a boy stood next to Daemon and a little toddler girl on the floor. Dressed to nines in gold and fine gowns. Their family.

“Curious?” Daemon’s voice boomed from behind you, making you flinch.

You turned to him sheepishly, shrugging your shoulders as he approached you. “That- that’s you, isn’t it?” You asked. Daemon nodded, turning you back to the painting as he held onto your waist before turning your head to kiss your lips.

“That’s a lot of children,” you said as a matter of fact as Daemon resumed his daily need to suckle a bruise onto the crook of neck.

Daemon chuckled, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as his nose took a long waft of your scent.

“Are they all yours?” your nosiness had you blurting your thought out. You bit your tongue the second you asked it. He nodded, “Rhaenyra birthed them all?” You eyes widened. “Bloody hell.”

Your horrified face was one of much amusement to Daemon, he knew of how little bloodline sentiments meant in this era. He wasn’t super keen into forcing one to have a child back in 120 AC, neither would he now if he could ever have them again. Your eyes squinted to read the little description etched onto the golden frame.

“Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen, Royal Consort Daemon Targaryen and their dragon seeds,”

From what you had read about the ancient great houses, they would rather jump off of cliffs than not come up with macabre titles to do with their house sigils. You giggled, dragonseed. A tad dramatic but that was the beauty and irrationality of history, everything was of honour and blood then it seemed.

“You called your children dragonseed?” There was knowing glint in Daemon’s eyes as he quirked up a brow.

“No—no?” disbelief, pure disbelief.

You shriek as Daemon bent down to throw your body over his shoulder. You knocked at your legs “Daemon I wanna know!”

He carried you all the way upstairs, instead of turning left to your rooms, he carried you to his. He dropped you down by the fire place when Rhaenyra was already sat with a book in her lap. You pouted and Daemon, cheeks full as Daemon dropped a thick blanket down where you sat you sat in already a pile of thick furry blankets.

“What’s going on?” Rhaenyra asked, petting your hair and looking at Daemon in a questioning manner.

“I wanna know if dragons were real,” you looked up at Rhaenyra, hope glimmering all over your eyes, a childish dream come true. She looked to Daemon with an odd expression before pointing at a cabinet by the window.

A temperature controlled cabinet with four eggs each on its five shelves, they were the biggest eggs you had seen. You crawled up to go look at them through the glass, eggs of red, purple, white and green. Mouth gaped upon in shock, immortal royalty was cool but this— you could scream from the excitement bubbling in you chest. A wide grin spread across your face as you turned to look at them.

“Silverwing was real!” You chuckled in shock, leg bouncing as the happiness radiated off of you “you rode dragons!” You pointed at them as you waddled over to settle yourself on Rhaenyra’s lap.

“Do you know which ones?” Daemon asked, the ends of his mouth slightly curled upwards. This is the liveliest they had seen you since the party.

You nodded like a teacher’s pet, answering correctly for a piece of candy. “You rode Syrax,” you curled further into Rhaenyra as she kissed your temple. “And you rode the red wormy thing,” you snapped your fingers in the air to try and remember it’s name.

“Red wormy thing,” Daemon repeated, highly amused that Caraxes’s memory would be watered down to a red wormy dragon from the furious behemoth he was.

“Yeah,” you mellowed, still unable to remember his name “he had a wormy neck and a deviated septum, like me.” you told them as if they wouldn’t know.

You looked to Daemon apologetically “but you already knew that…since you know. You rode him.”

“Caraxes,” he helped you “and I do agree, he was a Wyrm.”

“Damn,” you whispered under your breath “so you just had flying nukes for pets. That’s crazy.”

You settled in with them, still blurting out questions as they came to mind. No history textbook or books you found at libraries had this much details about the subject, the world still counted it’s years from Aegon’s Conquest but they were gods, myths and statues rooted at temples. They were real, tangible blood, you were sitting on one right now.

“If they hatch, what would you do? Over throw the government?” you mused “we could use a Queen, maybe get better healthcare, climate change sanctions, and an extra government holiday.”

This time Rhaenyra chuckled, shaking her head. They had thought of it, though Rhaenyra had given up on any hope of those eggs ever hatching. The last of blood magic destroyed taking down the Night King other than what created their immortality.

“We could go back to Dragonstone, preserve their kind this time around.” Rhaenyra said, pulling the blanket up your shoulders. You hummed as a reply, resting your head on her shoulder.

“Nyra.” You whispered. Rhaenyra hummed in reply. “Has my mother checked in?”

Rhaenyra’s eyes scrunched as she looked to Daemon and then down at you. She shook her head, after leaving a very colourful message on your phone after Rhaenyra had texted as you; about going away on a vacation. There was nothing. As a mother she once was, she never understood the callousness of mothers these days, having children move out of their homes and pay rent.

You closed you eyes, body already heavy from the story filled daze you were in. That and the hearth lulling you, you held no expectation that your mother would mildly care, if Daemon and Rhaenyra were to have killed you. You doubted she would have even noticed.

Just as Rhaenyra and Daemon had just each other, the possibility of you having just them grew each day.

Thank you for reading!! I’m having so much fun with this AU.

comments and reblogs are appreciated!

Also lemme know if you wanna be added to a Taglist

#daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen x reader x rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targaryen x rhaenyra targaryen #vampire au #daemyra smut #daemyra vampire au #daemyra x reader #daemyra #rhaenyra targaryen x reader #vampire!daemon #vampire!rhaenyra

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