#(bc you know you want to suffer)
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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pvp civ nation...... this aint much but pls take my contribution for this series bc im going insane i love hate this man so much get him out of my head
#senart#pvp civilization#pvp civ#I'LL MAKE A PROPER ONE I SWEARR I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF MYSYSTEM FIRST#if it turns out he gets a bad ending in ep 6 i dont think i'll be ok like#he deserves a good ending . or a villain arc at least. he deserves to go batshit crazy after how everyone treated him#ALSOO the chekovs gun video journal device thing?? The excessive 4th wall breaking?#Is it just me or does jt feel like evbo is gonna lose his memory/already lost his memory and was sent to the wood sword lvl with tabi#or like . Idk?? It feels kind of truman show ish. Well maybe not that but its just the vibe im getting w the way that everyone has their-#-own secrets. How the diamond swords seems to know who evbo n tabi is. How princezam knows about the diamond swords#and then theres also parrot whos just?? Weird overall?? Idk whats going on w him but i need to know his backstory wdym u think evbo will-#-hate you if he knows what you did??#ANYWAY BACK TO THE VIDEO JOURNAL AND POTENTIAL MEMORY LOSS.#I dont want jt to go that way (mostly bc i dont want to see evbo suffer more than he already did) but it rlly does seem like its heading to#that direction w the way that it also has become a way to narrate what he went through (ie when the ep shows his attempts to beat the-#gold sword lvl but hes narrating it from the future. from his video journal. where he already beat the lvl)#im going insane#Wait also what i meant by the truman show vibe in relation to the excessive 4th wall breaks it makes it sound like pvp civ is just a -#simulation#wait i just remembered its the matrix not that mb umm#anyways.#empty chattering
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finally drew clora and seb's kids!!🙌🙌
Celeste Sallow: OK THIS IS THE NAME IM SUPER PROUD OF BAHAHA because not only does the name celeste relate to the stars (in typical ravenclaw fashion...clora picked the name) but celeste sallow is also an alliteration. BUT, its an alliteration that begins with a C, which means clora gets to match with celeste in the form of both of their names starting with a C, whereas sebastian gets to match with celeste because both of their names are an alliteration/they're alliteration allies🥹ITS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!🥳
Lewis Sallow: as for lewis, if you've read my fic then you know that seb has a vendetta against names that start with an L bahaha, but 'lewis' was actually HIS idea. when celeste was born, seb wanted to find a muggle story to read to her, since clora's favourite story is ALSO a muggle one (sherlock), and he wanted to stick with tradition. so he ended up finding alice in wonderland, which he loved because of how adventurous and clever alice was and of how much she reminded him of clora and celeste (both personality and looks wise). it became his favourite for those reasons, to the point that when they had lewis, sebastian overcame his L-name hatred by naming their son after lewis carroll.
Houses: celeste could have been sorted into either gryffindor or slytherin, but ultimately ends up in slytherin because she wants to be like seb. kinda like how clora also probably could have been in gryffindor, tbh. as for lewis.....him being 10000% in ravenclaw doesnt need any explanation BAHA, just look at him.
Appearance: since clora has a tiny bit of veela blood in her, thats obvs passed down to their kids, too, and so they mostly take after her as a result of it. but there's still little bits of seb that shine through in each of the kids: for lewis its his brown curly hair, and for celeste its her complexion/freckles. and the fact that celeste looks so similar to clora only doubles up sebastian's stress/protective instincts when he watches her BAHAH. he's ofc still proud that she takes after him so closely, but seb also cant deny that he wishes it had been their SON that had taken after him instead, to keep her out of danger.
Celeste & Lewis: for celeste and lewis’ relationship, celeste is a super proud big sister, and treats lewis kinda like how seb treats clora. if there's anything that needs to be done, she offers to do it for him. and although she doesn’t have the patience to read stories herself, she loves playing outside and having lewis read to her in the background, and loves to act out/use his stories to fuel her imagination. and lewis makes sure to pick stories that he KNOWS she’ll like (which mostly involve heroic and daring feats of adventurers or pirates. he's tried to read more classic fairytales and romances to her a few times, but celeste always gets bored). she loves to draw though, so sometimes when lewis reads books that have no pictures, she'll draw them herself.
Celeste & Seb/Clora: celeste is a daddy's girl LOL and always tries to impress seb with the stuff she does, especially after hearing how HE was at her age, and so its half to impress and half because shes competitive that she wants to do the same/be just as good. and seb always gets a kick out of hearing her feats in the crossed wands club, or in defense against the dark arts class, and he also goads her on, telling her she'll have to do better than that if she wants to be as good as HE was. and whenever celeste gets detention, clora always stresses and asks why, whereas seb just tries to keep the smirk off his face. as for celeste and clora, clora also reads to celeste, and bakes and cooks with her, which is something celeste actually likes doing. not only because it keeps her busy and she likes to help and get messy in general, but also because she likes the fact that it results in good food afterwards LOL, and constantly asks when things can be taken out of the oven. also, for as tomboy-y as celeste is, she honestly doesn't mind/likes the clothing that clora puts her in and likes when clora dresses her up, bc it makes her look like one of the princesses from the storybooks, and it just amuses her more than anything else. once she enters hogwarts, though, its mostly trousers. but she still DOES like the occasional girly clothing.
Lewis & Seb/Clora: lewis is a momma's boy LOL and unlike celeste, doesnt care about duelling or of proving himself or anything like that, and is only concerned with stories and his future studies. so ofc clora had to show him sherlock, which he naturally loved. it even inspired lewis to want to write his own stories, so that he could challenge his own skill and see if he could, but also because he wants his mom to read them, and likes the idea of writing his own sherlock-esque story with equations and mysteries to be solved that he can offer her. lewis also wants to write a book for celeste as well, bc although he wont admit it, he basically wants to write a story tailor-made for her and her interests. one that he thinks will have everything she’d love in it. and part of it is genuinely because he WANTS to do it for her, but the other part of it is also for his ego, and to see if he CAN write a compelling story, and write something that would actually get THE hyperactive celeste to sit down and read it in its entirety (not to mention of her own volition). as for with seb, lewis looks up to him more than anyone else, due to how well-rounded he is and how hes so good at practical stuff AND studying, and he kinda sees seb as a main character/protagonist from one of his books, and uses sebastian as inspiration for his own stories. if hes stuck on what he thinks the dashing main character should do next, he'll ask his dad what HE would do, which results in seb getting very weird questions that he nonetheless is always happy to answer. also, when lewis is older and finally learns the full story of what happened with clora and seb and ranrok and rookwood, he writes their story in novel form, except he just changes their names/some of the details, and it becomes a best seller LOL. and i didnt know where to put this, but the four of them all read a story before bed every night, with lewis in the middle and seb and clora on either side of him. though celeste stands at the foot of the bed, basically doing a charade/mime show of what theyre reading, and putting on a little play to go along with it BAHHA.
OK thats all i can think of for now ive yapped enough😩 if youve read all of this ur a real one.... ive also considered giving them a 3rd (and last) child, which would be a boy that looks exactly like seb, and seb would just be praying like please.....let this son take after me🧎♂️🙏 BAHHA
#much to sebs dismay celeste is probs gonna be an auror LMAO whereas lewis is gonna be a writer#seb once again asking the universe why their personalities couldnt have been switched....but girldad seb is made to suffer#and yes they are BOTH dressed by clora and her mom if you couldnt tell LMAO#just wait till lewis is out of that sailor fit...he gonna be a heartbreaker when hes older fr fr. bro is beautiful#also i can imagine celeste when shes older using her looks to her advantage BAHHA like noo...i wouldnt do that...look at me🥹uwu#sweet talking her way out of detention BAHAHA shes that troublemaker student that the teachers secretly have a fond spot for#and altho seb tells lewis to protect and watch over her in school he doesnt rly take it seriously bc hes still young#but once they get older and if celeste ever DOES have problems then lewis definitely would step up for her as her brother#but hed do it in a very conniving and indirect way...like finding out whoever is causing her trouble and hexing them or some shit LMAO#and nobody would ever know😇😇😇#celeste would be like I GUESS I FINALLY SCARED THEM OFF/THEY LEARNED NOT TO MESS WITH ME!!!#and lewis would just be like yea....thats probably what happened.#bro does not need OR want the credit LMAO#also hes soft for his sis so he supports her delusions like the good lil bro he is. lewis supports womens rights and wrongs. king#choccyart#celeste sallow#lewis sallow
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So remember me in a softer light
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#sighs and theres 3/3#this one also suffers from lack of meaning lack of impact now imo :(#still a good piece still a good Mood#but my meaning....................#it is like a scooped out pumpkin 2 me. nothing in it.#but that is ok bc it means megumi can still come back !#i will stop complaining i will stop tempting fate i do not want to create death omens unless it becomes inevitable#megumi i believe in u believe in the me that believes in you#anyway i dont know if ive ever talked abt it but i LOVE in fic when megumi's hair is described as 'inky' like YA THTS THE GOOD STUFF#i dont often make his hair entirely jet black in pieces but whenever i do or whenever the grey/blue i use is dark enough#i always taste the word inky in my mind n it makes me go >:D#when the black cuts against th skin tones .... Stark contrast no values.....delicious i shld do that more#OH YA OBLIGATORY FV CAPTION: OVERTONE#not a very megu song but i love the lyrics
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btw! i added my spn paintings to my print shop 🫡
#myart#destiel fanart#me @ giclee printing professionals: you will look at men kissing. and almost kissing. etc.#i don't know currently if i want to sell my buttons online bc there are sooooo many and i usually simply dump them in a bucket or bag.#to inventory them is to suffer..................
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Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.
Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.
Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.
Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.
#i did try to draw that distinction in the original post but I didn't really go into detail#mostly bc i was trying to be concise and just focus on how the church talks to sufferers#so here's the long version#pontifications and creations#only thou art holy#also side note: there was someone yesterday who responded to that post with the suggestion that suffering is generally the sufferer's fault#and it got worse from there#just an absolutely rank response that had me immediately blocking that person and googling if there was a way to remove someone's addition#idk to what degree that person is an active member of this broader christian community we've got going on here#but if you see that post (and you'll know it when you see it) please as a favor to me don't interact with it#there were some lovely responses and additions to that post yesterday too#but that one made me mad#idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent#they're blocked now though so whatever#anyway. I've sort of been percolating on these various thoughts for a few weeks#since i went to a really fluffy women's talk on suffering#and now i kind of want to give my version#I'm far from the greatest sufferer in the world. i am well aware of that#but as I've been sick I've just done So Much Thinking and reading about theodicy and struggle with God that i feel qualified to opine#unlike the giver of that talk#anyway#tag rant over#...for now#theodicy
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Post-Apocalypse + Soulmate AU ; requested by @burr-burr!
When Danny was a kid, he used to imagine how the world would end. It was never a zombie apocalypse or the fallout of a nuclear war, but the death of the sun, the expansion of their star in death that would swallow their planet whole, leaving no survivors.
It would have been nicer than the post-apocalyptic world he stands in now, knowing that it’s his fault the world has ended.
He’s still struggling to wrap his head around it. To understand that all of this is his fault because he cheated on one test, desperate to pass after being unable to study for it with how exhausting and time consuming fighting ghosts is. Everywhere he looks, there’s more destruction. His own home is rubble, with only the partially untouched Ops Center remaining to let him know that this is where he once lived.
The rest of Amity Park is in worse shape. Buildings are hollowed out, the skeletons of their foundations visible, if they still remain standing. Most homes have been burned to the ground, leaving blackened corners of walls and nothing else. The roads are cracked and difficult to walk through, as if an earthquake tore through the city. Cars are scattered along the road, overturned or left abandoned, doors still open.
Danny has yet to find any bodies. He doesn’t know if that’s a good sign or not.
He’s only caught a few glimpses of his future self, the cause of all this, and can’t bring himself to chase after that monster. He feels sick to his stomach knowing what he’ll become.
That monster has to be stopped. The world has already ended, but that doesn’t mean his future self can be allowed to go on like this. If there are any survivors, they need protection. They need to know they’ll be safe to try to start rebuilding, and that can only happen if his future self is dead.
Danny knows what he has to do; he has a responsibility to protect what little remains of Amity Park, and to do that, he needs to kill himself.
But his head it spinning from the horror of the situation and his throat is tightening up the way it only does when he’s about to have a panic attack.
He needs to stop his future self, but he also can’t stay another second in the ruins of Amity Park without destroying himself.
The guilt sits heavy in his chest as he goes ghost and takes to the sky, flying blindly towards the setting sun. Danny doesn’t know where he’s going, and he doesn’t really care. He just needs to get away for a bit, until he can calm down and put together a plan of attack so he can take out his future self in one go.
He just…
He never thought he’d be a monster. But here they are.
Flying away from Amity Park reveals the truly harrowing extent to which this world has suffered under his future self’s hands. There are no intact cities or towns. Roads are broken beyond repair, highways littered with empty cars, most bridges crumbling into the rivers below them, and everything is covered in overgrowth. All signs of humanity’s careful cultivation of the world has been erased. The earth takes back what humans took from it, covering everything in green.
There is no movement. No people. Barely any birds flying beneath him.
What remains of the world is silence.
Danny is terrified that there’s no one left. That his future self has so thoroughly destroyed the earth that no human survivors remain.
That gives his guidance, some idea of where to go: a big city. Any big city, really.
He flies lower, searching for some sort of landmark, or a sign that will tell him where he’s going. A rusted over green sign farther down the road tells him that he’s 50 miles from Gotham.
Oh, Danny thinks, Maybe Batman can help me.
If anyone could survive the end of the world, it would be the superheroes, right? If anyone stands a chance at defeating his future self, it would be a superhero. Superman might have been a better choice, but Metropolis is the opposite direction and multiple states away; Danny’s not sure he can make it before his future self catches wind of him and hunts him down.
Danny has no doubt about what would happen to him if he’s caught; there’s a reason he hasn’t seen any ghosts around, after all.
Gotham is a city of secrets and rumors. What little he’s heard of it is baffling and, frankly, insane. There’s no city in the country like it and Gothamites prefer it that way, stubbornly loving the home that will kill them. For all the manmade horrors they survive on the daily, they would be more prepared for the end of the world than anyone else.
Gotham may be another casualty of his future self’s destruction, but it also offers him hope.
Danny follows the broken road towards Gotham, pushing himself to fly faster than he ever has before. What should have been a half hour flight is completed in fifteen minutes.
As soon as the towering buildings of Gotham, dark and semi destroyed, come into view, Danny drops from the sky and returns to human form. The strain from pushing himself has exhausted him and he feels it like an ache in his chest, his heart twisting and trying to burst from how hard it’s beating.
He collapses to his hands and knees and gasps for breath on the outskirts of Gotham.
It takes a good few minutes to calm down and breathe normally, then another to gather his strength to stand up and begin walking.
The world is eerily quiet as he enters the city, feeling the chill fall upon him as he is consumed by the shadows of tall buildings. It’s much more intact that Amity Park, but there’s no denying the destruction that still surrounds him. Buildings are empty and worn down, decaying and slowly being consumed by new growth. Burnt out husks of overturned cars fill the street, leaving Danny to carefully pick his way around them, unable to walk in a straight line.
He feels like the only person in the world. He feels like he’s being watched by a hungry eyes.
Danny shivers and walks faster.
The deeper he goes into the city, the more he starts to hope that he’s not alone in this world. There’s small signs of life: the smell of smoke, recently burned, certain streets cleaned up, makeshift walls constructed from rubble to block access to certain areas of each block.
He swears he can see people move above his head, but anytime he looks up, the windows of every building are empty.
“Batman,” he whispers to himself, “I just need to find Batman.”
He turns a corner and continues walking. Apartment buildings give way to stores and businesses, all with their windows broken and nothing on the shelves. Then the buildings end abruptly and he’s left staring at an overgrown park that resembles a jungle more than it does a part of the city.
The scent of something sweet lingers in the air. Fruit, perhaps, or flowers.
If he was left in the aftermath of an apocalypse, he would go to where he could find growing food. If there’s anyone left in Gotham, he’s willing to bet they’re in here, surviving off of what food can be grown in the confines of the park.
Danny crosses the road and takes three steps onto the grass before someone appears beside him and points an electrified baton at him.
“Who are you?” they demand, eyes hidden behind a cracked helmet, but the bottom half of their face is visible, revealing scars crossing on dark skin.
Danny takes a step back, eyeing the electric baton warily, and lifts his hands to show he means no harm. “Danny. I came from out of town. I was hoping to find people here.”
“You don’t look like you’ve been traveling.”
His clothes are clean and intact and he has none of the world-weariness that weighs down this Gothamite. Danny winces, and says, “My situation is kinda complicated. But I did just get here. I’m looking for help, actually. Do you know where I could find Batman?”
There’s a long moment of tense silence, then he hears a quiet sigh and the helmet comes off. An exhausted looking man looks at him with one blind eye, turned a milky white, and his voice is low and stricken as he says, “Batman’s dead. But maybe I can help you.”
“Batman’s dead?!” Danny repeats, shocked.
“Yeah. Sacrificed himself in one of the last times Phantom attacked Gotham. Got me and Nightwing out of that encounter alive. We’re really the only heroes left in Gotham, not that there’s much need anymore with everyone trying to survive.”
Phantom killed Batman. His future self killed Batman.
Danny feels sick to his stomach.
“Oh,” he manages to say.
The man’s expression softens. “Don’t worry, we’ll help you as much as we can. Why don’t you come on in? Ivy can get you some food if you’re hungry.”
Danny nods numbly as he follows the man deeper into the park. He walks with ease, taking paths that only become visible when he walks them, leaving Danny to follow close behind. It takes some time before he realizes that the plants are moving out of their way just enough that they don’t trip, and when he looks back, the path is covered again, hidden from sight.
He’s taken to the heart of the forest, where the trees shift to the side to reveal a large encampment of survivors all living together. Beds are strung up as hammocks between trees and rope ladders dangle from branches to help people move up and down. The ground is full of small fire pits, a few in use to make make food, and sections in the back full of vegetable and herb patches, separated by berry bushes.
The people here all look tired and worn down, but they still smile and speak in light voices, adjusted to a new life after surviving so much horror and destruction. He even spots a few people using powers, or just looking different, including one large man who looks like a crocodile.
“Pick up another stray?” a raspy voice asks, humor lighting the tone. They both turn to see a woman with long red hair and a green tint to her skin be lowered to the ground by a vine. She’s also heavily scarred and her right arm is completely gone, replaced by a wooden limb covered in moss that moves as if it’s always been a part of her body.
“Hey Ivy,” the man greets, “I don’t think this one is staying. He came to Gotham looking for Batman.”
The words make Ivy’s gaze sharpen, and Danny feels a trickle of dread go down his spine. She’s dangerous and standing before her feels as if he’s in the mouth of a hungry beast.
“Is that so,” she says, voice flat. “How interesting. I’ll let you two talk somewhere more private.” Her gaze flicks to the side, and when Danny turns to look, he can see some of the people in the encampment observing them warily, bodies tense and poised to either flee or attack.
Ivy turns and the plants part for her. Danny waits for the man to begin walking before he follows, trying not to feel trapped as the plants close the path behind him. She takes them to a small pond full of water lilies, gives the man a careful look, then leaves, swallowed up by the plants.
“Is everything okay?” Danny asks hesitantly. “I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”
“Nah, you’re good,” the man replies, “It’s just that people don’t trust me much.”
“Why? You’ve been really nice.”
The man shrugs. “My soulmate is Phantom. He’s the one responsible for doing all this and killing almost everyone we love. I didn’t know until the first time I fought him, but they hate anything to do with Phantom, including me.”
Danny’s heart stutters in his chest. This is his soulmate.
Most people don’t subscribe to the belief that they’re meant to be with their soulmate. Meeting your soulmate is rare enough that most people don’t try, and plenty of people have spoken of how important it is to have a variety of relationships, to not close yourself off for the slightest chance of meeting your soulmate.
Danny never looked for his; he didn’t want to subject them to his parents, and then he became a halfa and gave up on all dreams of having a normal life or any relationship with someone who didn’t know he was Phantom.
And now he’s here, in a ruined future, standing before his soulmate who understandably hates him for destroying the world.
“You’re Phantom’s soulmate,” Danny breathes. His hands are shaking. He wants to cry.
The man sighs. “Yeah. I am. Not that it’s stopped him from trying to kill me. Don’t worry, kid, I’m not working with him. I swear.”
“He’s your soulmate and he hurt you.”
“He hurt everyone,” he says, then gestures at his blind eye. “This is barely a thing compared to what he did to other heroes.”
Danny can’t find the words to expression his horror at seeing the damage he did to his own soulmate. His future self is heartless and cruel and bloodthirsty. He has to be stopped.
He doesn’t want to kill his soulmate.
“I came here for Batman,” Danny says, “Because I thought he could help me stop Phantom.”
“That’s rough, kid. Batman couldn’t beat Phantom. I don’t think anyone can. We’ve tried, but most heroes are dead and we can’t just go out there and risk the lives of everyone here. We gotta focus on survival, not revenge.”
“I have to stop Phantom.”
“Sorry kid, but that’s a terrible idea. Don’t go out there trying to be a hero. You can stay here, alright? Ivy will get you set up and the others will help you settle in.”
Danny takes a step back and shakes his head. “No. I have to stop him. It has to be me.”
“And why is that?”
“Because I’m Phantom,” Danny whispers.
The man immediately reaches for his electric batons again, taking a step back. “Not funny, kid,” he says with a tense voice.
“I’m not joking. I am Phantom, just from the past. I’m not supposed to be here.”
“You’re Phantom?” the man repeats. “You. You’re just a kid, and you’re going to destroy the world one day?”
“I don’t want this to happen! That’s why I need to go back, so I can stop the event that will set me down this path. And to go back, I need to defeat the Phantom that exists here.”
“He’ll kill you, kid.”
“That still solves the problem, doesn’t it? If I die here, then he’ll never live long enough to destroy the world. He’ll die too.”
The man stares at him with cold eyes, then turns away, dropping his hands away from the batons. “Don’t turn this into a suicide mission, kid,” he says. “The Phantom who’s here isn’t you. You don’t have to pay for his crimes. Just… stay here and I’ll go fight Phantom.”
“He already hurt you,” Danny says.
“What’s a little more hurt? I can handle it.”
“No,” Danny says firmly. He shoves away the fear and hurt in his heart and finds his strength in determination. No more running away. No more hiding.
The timeline should not exist. He can’t hesitate at the thought of erasing this version of his soulmate from existence; he’s tired and injured and an outcast in the only community that still exists in Gotham. He deserves better. Everyone here does.
And to give them a better life, Danny needs to stop this one from ever happening.
“This is my future. It’s my responsibility. I’ll stop it and make sure this never happens. And… I’m sorry for everything I did.”
“It’s not your fault, Danny. You’re not this version of Phantom.”
That’s not at all true, since Danny’s actions lead to the end of the world, but he’s not going to argue when he’s preparing to fight a stronger, more ruthless version of himself. He takes a deep breath, then goes ghost and floats into the air.
“Before I go,” he begins, hesitantly, “What’s your name? Since you’re apparently my soulmate.”
The man smiles sadly and answers, “Duke. If we ever meet in your time, tell that version of me to look for my mom’s favorite book.”
It’s an odd request, but if it’s important enough to be asked for, then Danny will do it. “Your mom’s favorite book,” he repeats, “Got it.”
“Take care, Danny. Good luck out there.”
Danny nods and takes one last look at his soulmate, older and worn down, stubbornly getting through each long day, and swears to make things better.
Then he flies off, ready to fight his future self and make things right again.
. . .
He thinks of his soulmate for years after he’s back in the present. The timeline where his future self exists is gone and the world is safe, but he still remembers the pain he caused Duke.
When the time comes to apply to universities, Danny sets his sights on Gotham. His parents take him on a trip during spring break to tour the campus, and it’s after the tour, as he wanders around on his own, that he bumps into a student walking out of a building.
“Sorry,” they both say at the same time, reaching for each other to help each other keep their balance.
As soon as their hands meet, it’s as if lightning runs through him. From the look on the other guy’s face, he felt it to.
This is his soulmate.
“Duke,” Danny says, amazed and disbelieving all at once. And the request crosses his mind, something he wondered about almost every night since he returned to his time. “Look for your mom’s favorite book.”
“How—?”
“I met you in the future. You asked me to take back a message for the you that’s here. So: look for your mom’s favorite book. What does that mean, by the way? I never asked.”
Duke blinks, then slowly retracts his hands from Danny’s. “My mom’s favorite book was a hand bound journal from my dad. They were soulmates and he wrote about their first year in a relationship together. It’s full of pictures, and she loved it more than anything. That message is to remind me to have faith in soulmates, to believe that something good can happen to me.”
“Oh! That’s… wow, sorry, I didn’t mean to pry into something so personal.”
Duke shrugs. “It’s fine. I needed the reminder. I would have already run away by now if you didn’t say that. You already know my name, but I think now’s a good time to introduce ourselves.”
“Right!” Danny says, flustered. He sticks his hand out, which Duke shakes with an amused smile. “I’m Danny. Fenton. I’m coming here next semester.”
“Duke Thomas. I’m a freshman here and I’d really love to get your number.”
He’s not hitting on Danny, not really, but it still makes him blush. The way Duke looks at him is full of light and laughter, so different from the exhausted and wary way he looked in the future now rewritten.
This is what the future version of himself tried to kill. He doesn’t understand how anyone could ever hurt Duke when he’s so full of life.
But he’s safe now. Everyone is; Danny changed the future and what lies ahead is wholly unknown to him.
The world is safe and full of promise.
No matter what comes, Danny is sure he and Duke are going to be just fine.
#ghostlights#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompt fill#my writing#the horror of knowing what kind of monster you are capable of becoming paired with the knowledge that your soulmate has suffered bc of you#and reasonably wants you dead/taken out of the picture not just for revenge but for the sake of everyone's safety#but also from duke's pov he's found a teenager wandering into gotham's last refuge. he looks strangely untouched by the end of the world.#hes looking for batman who duke watched die. and then it turns out that hes a younger version of the monster that ruined your life#(and everyone elses life) and realizes that this is who his soulmate once was#and then knowing that he either has to kill this innocent version of his soulmate or let his existence be unwritten#there is no happy ending for post-apoc duke's story#but he and danny get a second chance in a new timeline where things are better#doesnt mean the nightmares ever leave danny lol#thanks for the prompt!!
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if you're wondering why I kind of abandoned this blog, there's several reasons (fandom just doesn't feel fun anymore, I'm trying to cut back on screen time, I've been feeling like my faith is in contradiction to what I see/read/interact with on here is for years and years now) but the final straw has been what I see on my dash every day about Israel/Palestine.
I keep seeing people I used to interact with and used to like now peddling conspiracy theories, debunked claims, inflammatory headlines, and even bloodthirsty rhetoric with tens of thousands of notes (when corrections of those posts get ~500 notes at best), and reacting to nuanced conversations like they're calls for hatred, all while turning a blind eye to the very literal vicious hatred or sheer ignorance in many of those big posts. The level of black-and-white thinking is so strong that we are wayyyy past 'us-vs-them,' we're in the kind of discourse where even 'know thy enemy' (being interested in understanding the opposing arguments even just so you can dismantle them) is considered hatred - people can't be bothered to know what they're arguing for or against, nothing short of plugging your ears and screaming for the death of the Bad People is enough. This is a wave of just about the most hypocritical, callous and uninformed 'activism' this website has ever been guilty of and it's too much. I'm done with this.
And yes, this is about antisemitism. You can all shout 'not antisemitic, just anti-zionist' all day long but you have done jack shit to prove you don't hate Jews beside chanting 'punch a nazi' in the same breath you use KKK slurs and cheer for groups that have 'curse the Jews' in their slogan. I trust none of you anymore.
#israel palestine conflict#israel hamas war#antisemitism#I should have taken a stand from the beginning and I was afraid to. makes me a pretty shitty ally I guess#I also didn't want to talk about current events on a fandom blog bc who am I to give my two cents?#and how can I justify having an opinion unless I back it up with constantly up to date and rigorously examined info#and how can I stop talking about current events once i've started? making my fandom blog no longer about fandom#I still don't know what the right thing to do is#I still don't think it's my place to speak out on much of what's going on in I/P because of how hard it is to be accurate and objective#but if I'm on any 'side' it's certainly not the side of the western 'activists'#i'm on the 'side' of the innocent people suffering in both countries and on the side of the jewish people you've made feel afraid#i'm on the side of life#you GLORIFIED TERRORISM AND SUICIDE
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breaking the law and outing myself on the internet because i'm showcasing my senior dance thesis on april 28 at 6:30 and 8:30 pm Eastern Standard Time and i want You to see it
we don't have a livestream link yet but we will. in the meantime look at these cool posters and this cool blurb. ok now save the date SEE YOU SOON
#my stuff#my art#these posters went through 14 separate drafts. it was a harrowing and difficult experience#i am Fully Going through it which means 1) physical health is suffering 2) social life also but 3) the thing is going to be so fucking good#sarus is gonna be the best thing ive ever made when we finish it. i Know it#so i want you to see it because it's one of those ambitious stories where everything's bigger than life#and the world is old and young and scary and kind and people live fearlessly and with cowardice#BUT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. IF YOU JUST KEEP WALKING. this is going to be one of those stories#so many dance blurbs and descriptions are like stupid technical like oh we explored the effect of weighing down our hands and feet#on our Center of Gravity and how it altered the rotational momentum of turns and jumps#or else they're stupid esoteric like oh the wind blew..... and the children wept and all over the world the oceans rose... (global warming)#so i was determined to make this blurb (which is going in the schoolwide email blast) accessible and provocative#and inviting#in a provocative way#im very Locked in rn. im Hyperfocused as fuck. i am not eating as well asi should be but IM TRYING#AND THATS WHAT MATTERS#im inviting all of u bc this is a piece that is going to try and say something and i want everyone ive ever loved to hear it#oghey bye
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I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants
#adhd#not art#like this only thing I could think about was how understimulated I was#every person was boring because I was in such a severe and chronic state of dopamine deficiency#so I wasn't interested or curious about ANYONE and nobody could 'satiate me' and I deemed everyone boring because of it#then the first week on my meds & I went to visit my neighbor#& I was like 'omg your granddaughter came to visit this weekend? how was she? :)'#and then after I went home and I was like wow she's so sweet and her life seems so interesting I cant wait to talk more about it#and then it hit me I had known her for YEARS and it wasn't until now that I.. cared :(#made me feel really bad but also glad that I actually have the capacity to care and it wasn't just my personality#I had to do a lot of damage control :T but some bridges were burned and I gotta live with that#now I can proudly proclaim that no im not a narcissist bc I think people are interesting and I wanna hear them talk#i can just sit and listen and internalizing their perspective ..#for once I like people and I'm not a victim in some imaginary fight for mediocrity with everyone else#it never excited and im happy to feel that way#also whenever I speak with unmedicated adhders I just look at them like wow you don't even know how much your brain is making itself suffer#every adhder may not want to or can take meds and that's fine but everyone at least deserves to know what it feels when they work
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There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.
#I FEEL LIKE COMPLAINING RN in the context of this alternate universe these posts live in. that makes me evil rn. I may not even keep#the post up. but I Needed to complain about these bc I hate seeing them#really funny and good because it very much feeds into that part of the brain where you go wait am I stupid? am I horrible? am I annoying?#before you express any kind of personal feelings. from feeling insecure alll the way down the spectrum to feeling like your life is over#before anyone How Dare You Say We Piss On The Poor-s at me YES there is a nuanced version of this#which is. you can make someone feel like shit (A Fellow Sufferer Of The Mental Eelnesses) by using them as your dumping ground#in excess and usually with no regard for how they feel and without Regular conversations inbetween#and in a one-sided way where they can't do the same and complain with you as a sounding board in return#don't tell new friends you hardly know abt THE MOST personal shit you can possibly think of. there are steps being skipped here#right? we know this. we all know it. setting a boundary is a thing. overwhelming a person is a thing#on the other hand there is such a thing as a friend who IS okay to listen and wants to help. and friends who relate.#maybe talking abt personal stuff makes ppl feel closer sometimes. just a thought! maybe not everything is Emotional Labor. maybe just maybe#but like come on. these are almost intentionally unhelpful posts#long post
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i think it's kind of offensive to try to make holocaust denial about trans people but idk
#when you say holocaust denial people think antisemitic conspiracy theory#so it just seems... hm.... disingenuous to use that specific phrase?#i do think jkr's tweet was kind of unclear#but it was not ''the holocaust is a jewish conspiracy it was all faked they control everything''#contesting the idea that trans people should be centered in holocaust discussions is not the same thing at all#that wording just grosses me out bc it feels intentional. they know what holocaust denial actually is and they know they can piggyback#off of the enduring suffering of people who were the primary targets of the holocaust#and they know no one is gonna bother to even read what jkr's little tweet said in the first place#isn't it obvious they just want to be able to call themselves holocaust victims
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Shoutout to all girls like me who have impossibly sensitive eyes…….. we are going painful lengths to watch this eclipse unfold
#certified eclipse glasses ACQUIRED + I know where max coverage in my city is#I’ve just always had sensitive eyes but I also do not want to miss it#If anyone is suffering this dichotomy I feel u#All my friends have a lukewarm response to this but I don’t get it bc this is an ECLIPSE??#im pretty sure the next one won’t be until 2044#does space the moon the stars the sun the cosmos mean nothing to you#solar eclipse
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FUCK NO DON'T TELL ME OHM PAWAT GETS SHOT NEXT EPISODE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#no that's illegal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#pls it will make pat getting shot less funny#bc like as bat shit insane as it is that pat gets shot in the first place#it's insanely funnier when you know that it's the ONLY TIME ohm pawat has been shot on camera#out of all the series he's been in#and he's been around guns!!!!!!!!!!#and yet fucking bad buddy is where he suffers from a gunshot wound#it's so fucking funny and i don't want it to change :(((((#airenyah plappert#kidnap the series#kts#adrm#pat got shot
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alright you know what FINE horror cooks. even though he struggles with food and has a bad relationship with it sure he'll cook. but can we at least give him the liberty of getting to fuck around with people because of it ok FINE let me be specific i mean feeding other people dead remains and stuff ok 😒😒😒 ok 😒😒😒
oh so sweet he just made a five course meal and a fancy steak!!!! its gold plated!!!! it smells so good!!!! soooo delish and hmm a bit hard to chew but maybe he just made it a bit overcooked dont worry horror you tried your hardest. what do you mean you put blood sweat and tears into it with a oddly evil grin on your face. what is in my cup of water bro. what did I JUST EAT
#only if he really hates you or just really wants to see someone suffer#usually paps would be the 1 to make the food and he gets to enjoy the reaction#but UNFORTUNATELY papyrus is in horrortale and horrors in fuck knows where in the multiverse#so he has to make his own entertainment SMH#he might be fighting with himself the entire process of making the meal butttttttt#its all worth it to see the mortified and sickly expression people make before immediately wanting to throw up. so sweet!#he does this to dust and killer after they fight except its not human remains#he steals one of killer's dust jars and makes desserts with it! they just invented this cool new form of powdered sugar omg!#unfortunately it looks surprisingly convincing. dust doesnt know the difference#he immediately runs to the bathroom to throw up and take several showers to purge what hes done. goddamn WHO DID HE JUST EAT FUCK YOU HORRO#killer only knows the difference because he could feel the texture difference on his hands and tongue and it was too late LMAO#he did not smell anything he did not taste anything he did not see anything vaguely wrong#and like horror cooks all the time and the foods fine!!!! so like........ ok fine maybe hell eat it. and then he felt the taste#he doesnt swallow he doesnt do anything except turn his head and immediately spit the food out onto the ground (horror found this HILARIOUS#but the moment he was alone bro starting PUUUURGING his guts out. he knows exactly which dust jar horror took he knows EXACTLY WHO HE ATE#would be 10x funnier if horror used a papyrus's dust for it#but would he ever do that??? would he put himself through that???#i would like to think that horror's able to distinguish between his own papyrus and every other papyrus out there#for cruelty factor if hes able to get through it with that thought than yes#but i also get that he might not be able to go through with it bc its a papyrus's dust#horror's a bit of a prick perchance. just a bit tho maybe idk#downright evil actually. all of them are. but only to eachother#mtt upon thee i love these three#tricule hc#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au
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For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D
+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)
#did you know bullfighters dedicate their kill to a friend or member of the public by giving them their hat?#i really wanted to draw silly vettonso where fernando offers seb his hat#seb retires from bullfighting(yeah its an au now) and fernando in his green costume is like;#'here is my hat. now will you come back from retirement? 🥺'#but yeah feel very abnormal abt that ^ and also the thing abt them having someone who helps them get into their costume as a sacred ritual#theres just a lot of thoughts and ideas floating around in my head bcs of it#anyways i liked drawing this but it was very suffering too and took me like 5 hours#its like. you see the intricate embroidery and im like ah! omg! i love painting details!!!#and then remember im not the best w coming up with ideas for the embroidery pattern itself#so pls bear with me 😭😭 mainly i was trying to reference the diamond logo of renault#but most of it kinda just ended up being austrian knots i guess bcs thats what my mind defaults to#i thought the shoulder pad would be the most difficult but that came together the easiest and made the rest actually work in my head#aaahhh also im surprised w the angle of his face! im usually not good at side profiles as well as tilted down heads#but i think he looks pretty good honestly???#also w the sketch i just wanted to post it bcs i liked his face okay 😭😭😭#i wanted to paint it too but I realized im so naive thinking i could paint two of these horrifically detailed things in one session#but his face 🥹🥹 i like it!!! theres some renault era pic of him i really like where hes sun drenched and angry looking#^ and i think i captured the vibe well so!!!!!#well anyways mayhe ill draw more of this. it was fun but also like sucked my life force out bcs it kept going from easy to 'I CANT DO THIS'#the pictures of matadors are just...insane to me. tiny waist fat ass flamboyant costume. im dead 🫠#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#fa14#matador au
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