#(back when i was new and wasn't directly told these things by management

[motorsportbarbie13]

Forbidden - Part 1

In which you reconnect with an old friend, much to the dismay of your brother.

Warnings: None. This is mostly background and will be several parts.

Pairing: Max Verstappen x LeClercSister!Reader Word Count: 2.6k words Masterlist Here

It started slowly, this thing between your brother's best friend and biggest rival and you. So slowly that you hadn't been directly involved, you probably wouldn't have even noticed the clandestine brushing of fingers to skin in the paddock or the flickering looks that lingered just a bit too long. Even the way Max managed to stare at you from his garage went unnoticed by everyone but you. But what started slowly over one summer quickly snowballed into something that nearly destroyed you both.

You'd known Max since you were young, of course, so maybe that was why the pair of you managed to keep things hidden for so long. You two being friendly wasn't all that out of the ordinary so maybe that was why it took people longer to connect the dots. You two had always been friends, but it was a quiet friendship so not many people picked up on it, even back then. But he had always been firmly in the ‘my brother’s best friend and track rival’ category for as long as you could remember.

Did it drive you crazy that they were much quicker to involve your younger brother, Arthur, in their antics instead of you? Yes. But Charlie and his friends were like the untouchable super hero's you watched in movies: larger than life and totally invincible so you always lapped up any ounce of attention they gave you.

As you got older though, your trips to the track became less and less frequent with you picking up your own interests. You traded weekends at the track for weekends spent with friends your own age who didn't worship the ground your brother and his friends walked on. Before long, you were headed off to university in New York City, wanting a bit of space from your famous brother and his aura. You loved Charlie and Arthur to death, they were your favorite people in the world after all, but it was difficult being the 'normal' sister to such talented men and the space had allowed you to thrive on your own, in your own way. 

You went home to Monaco infrequently, the trip from New York to the small principality being just long enough to be annoying to do regularly and traveled to races even less. It wasn’t that you didn’t support Charlie. You always made sure to be at his home race in Monaco and the race in Monza of course, but your life was in New York. First it was your rigorous coursework for your degree in economics from NYU that kept you away and then you continued on with a Master’s degree in economics and international business, the intensity of both programs serving you well crafted excuses for years. 

“You’re really going to come travel with us?” Charlie was unable to hide his surprise and excitement this morning when you called to tell him your post-graduation plans. 

“It’s been the hardest year of my life, between my thesis, interning at the investment firm in Manhattan, and finishing up grad school, I’ve barely had a chance to breathe for years. I need a break Charlie.” You sigh, settling into your couch that faces the floor to ceiling windows in your New York apartment that was currently full of packing boxes. 

“I know you do. You’re the hardest working person in this family.” 

You chuckle, knowing that this wasn’t true. Your two brothers worked just as hard, if not harder, at their careers in motorsport. There was no way Charlie would have reached F1 if he hadn’t been a hard worker. You might be the smartest LeClerc though, although you knew Arthur would never admit to that even if Charlie would. 

“What happened to that job in London?” 

You pick at an invisible piece of lint, wanting to avoid the question, as you shrug even though your brother couldn’t see you. “I told them I wasn’t interested. They wanted too much from me and I’m just so close to being burnt out. I’m taking on a consulting gig with the Bank of London. They’ve agreed to allow me to work remotely so I can live in Monaco and travel. I’ve missed so much of your career Charlie, I hate that I’ve been so absent from everyone for so long.” 

Charlie’s voice goes soft at the sound of regret in your voice, “Oh, petit papillon.” My little butterfly. You can’t help but smile at the nickname, despite the melancholy mood that had settled over you. “We know you did what you had to do to make you happy, we don’t blame you for being gone for so long. All that matters now is that your studies are done and we get to see you more.” 

Your heart warms in your chest. Of course Charlie hadn’t held your distance against you, it wasn’t in his nature to hold grudges against you, even when you fought the hardest. “I’m so excited to come home, Charlie.” 

*Six Weeks Later*

A faint tapping on the front door catches your attention from where you sat in Charlie’s living room, staring at the same spreadsheet you had been working on for the last hour. “Saved by the knock.” You mutter, getting up from your spot on you’re brother’s couch. You’ve spent so much time on the plush piece of furniture over the last few days, busy with work, that you’re surprised there’s not a permanent indent of your backside on the cushion. 

Finding an apartment in Monaco was proving harder than you had thought. Every flat you looked at in the city was either so far out of your price range or was missing something you deemed essential to have in your living space so for the time being you were staying with Charlie and Alexandra in their guest bedroom until the right place came around. 

“Coming!” You call out, hoping to alert the person knocking on the front door to your approach. Although you couldn’t fathom who would be at the door in the middle of the day on a Tuesday afternoon. You quickly run through an inventory of where the important people in your life were: Charlie was at a sponsor event while Alex was at doing some content creation in Paris for the gallery that she worked for. Your mother was at work of course and Arthur was off somewhere with his girlfriend Jade today. Everyone accounted for and busy. 

Without checking the peephole, you swing the door open wide, relieved for an excuse to take a break from the project that had found its way to your inbox early this morning. 

“Maxie!” You gasp, launching yourself into the unprepared arms of the Dutchman who you hadn’t seen in years. 

Max was thankful for his quick reflexes that were required of a world championship winning F1 driver because without them, the two of you would have found yourselves in a heap of limbs on the floor. “Beestje! You nearly took me out.” Max sets you down carefully but not before you have a chance to swat at his arm. 

“You know I hate when you call me that.” You pout, nipping at his finger when he teasingly swipes at your lip. Max had called you ‘little beast’ for as long as you could remember, always delighting in your cries of protest when he did. If there was one thing Max loved, it was teasing Charlie’s sister.  

He grins down at you, dimples winking out at the corner of his mouth. “That’s why I do it.” 

Rolling your eyes, you open the door wide enough to allow the both of you to enter the empty apartment. Max follows you into the living room, where your computer sits discarded. 

“I didn’t know you were visiting.” Max says, trying to remain calm as you settle down on the couch opposite of him. 

You had always been gorgeous, those good looking LeClerc genes that Charles was so famous for had obviously been passed on to you as well, but now? You were hands down the most stunning woman Max had ever seen in his entire life. Your social media presence was sparse, at best, so while he followed you, it was rare for you to post much of anything. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw you in person either, knowing that you much preferred to avoid the harsh light of fame that came with being a LeClerc. 

“Charlie didn’t tell you? I moved back!” You wave a hand towards your laptop, “I got a job with the Bank of London doing consulting work, fully remote.” 

“No, Charles didn’t tell me.” Max says, narrowing his eyes. He had just played padel with Charles and Carlos the other day and he hadn’t made a single mention of you being back. “Where is he, anyway? I came by to see if he wanted to go for a run tonight.” 

You shrug, trying to force your heart rate to slow to a pace that couldn’t potentially be heard by people playing the slots at the famous Monte Carlo Casino down the street. You had always had a juvenile crush on Max. Honestly, who wouldn’t? His demeanor on the track and in the paddock was completely opposite of who he was in private. You may have not spent much, if any, time with him the past decade but you knew that the Max that had been your brother’s childhood best friend and rival was the same Max sitting next to you right now. Nothing had changed.

“He’s at some event for Ferrari. I’ll never understand why people want to pay thousands of dollars to get to talk to the likes of you chuckle heads. How would those donors feel knowing they invested so much in a person that once got so drunk on their birthday they thought the Uber driver was trying to kidnap them because they, and I quote, ‘could totally make a killing with the ransom Christian would pay to get me back.’” 

“That was ONE time!” He croaks, blinking at you in surprise. “And how the fuck did you know about that? Charles swore he’d never tell anyone about that.” 

You can’t help the laughter that bubbles out and Max momentarily forgets how embarrassed he is that you know that story. It’s light and airy, the notes dragging their fingers down Max’s skin. “I’m not ‘anyone’, Maxie darling. You know that.” 

And boy did he. Just the way you wink at him while calling him ‘Maxie darling’ is enough to send his mind into overdrive, wondering how it would feel if more of your attention was turned his way. 

Max just smirks back, fighting to keep up the cool facade he’s usually got so carefully constructed in place. He expertly steers the conversation away from anymore potentially embarrassing stories and towards you. How you’ve been. The near year you spent writing your thesis paper for your Master’s degree. The life you’ve built so far away from Max. It makes his heart squeeze something fierce knowing that you two have drifted so far apart.

Before you know it, the sun is sinking low in the sky, casting a glittering glow over the water just outside the apartment. The sunlight filters in through the half-drawn curtains, bathing you in a golden light. Max had never understood why everyone raves about the beauty of ‘golden hour’ until he saw the setting sun reflected in your eyes. 

He was in so much trouble. 

You two are so lost in your conversation you don’t notice the front door swing open or Charles bustling through the door hours later. Charles pauses when he sees the two of you sat on the couch together. Somewhere between the first and second glass of wine that you had poured when it became evident neither of you wanted the afternoon to end, you had ended up quite close to Max. His hand sat outstretched over the back of the couch, hovering just out of reach of your shoulder. You were leaning into him ever so slightly, laughing at something Max had said moments before. The obvious intimacy between the two of you set off alarm bells for Charles, not liking how Max was looking at you over the rim of his wine glass. 

The thing was, Charles is quite protective of you. It was one of the reasons you always tried to leave the details about your love life out of any conversation you had with either of your brothers. Arthur was bad enough, but your twin? Charles was of the opinion that no one was ever good enough for you. Especially someone like Max. While he wasn’t as bad as some of the guys on the grid (lookin at you Lando Norris), Max still liked to party and take advantage of how often pretty girls threw themselves at him. He did not want someone like that interested in his sister. He knew how much you valued your privacy and that was not something someone like Max could offer you. 

“What’s going on here?” Charles fought to keep the hostility out of his voice, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Max jumped off the couch like it had suddenly burst into flames. He knew how protective Charles was over you and judging by the stormy look on your brother’s face, he wasn’t happy to find him there tonight. 

You, on the other hand, found it amusing how quickly your brother’s protective side reared it’s ugly head. There was nothing to be ashamed of, you knew that. You were just two friends catching up after being apart for so long. Totally innocent. Right? Right. 

“Max stopped by to see if you wanted to go on a run and we just got lost in conversation is all, Charlie.” You sooth, knowing your brother has a short fuse when it comes to you. 

Charles narrows his eyes at Max as if he doesn’t believe your words and to be honest, he probably shouldn’t. If he had known the thoughts racing through Max’s head over the last few hours, Max would have probably found himself in the gravel pit of whatever race was next on the calendar. 

“I was just leaving.” Max stutters, glancing down at where you still sit on the couch, amused grin playing at the corner of your lips. 

“It was nice to see you Maxie.” 

Max doesn’t miss the way Charles clenches his fists when you say his name like that. 

“Always a pleasure, Beestje.” He teases, hoping that Charles doesn’t pick up on the nervous waver in his voice. 

You tip your wine glass towards him in a mock salute before picking up your laptop where it’s sat discarded for the last few hours while Max makes a beeline for the front door. Charles follows him out, eyes trained on the back of his friends head, trying to calm the storm of anger that is swirling around his gut. 

“I don’t think it needs to be said but stay away from my sister.” Charles practically growls when Max’s hand closes over the doorknob. 

“We’re just friends Charles. I haven’t seen her in ages, we were just catching up.” 

“I don’t look at my friends the way you were just looking at her.” Charles grouses. “Just don’t, okay? I don’t want to give her any reason to leave again. If you hurt her, she’ll go running. Leave her alone.” 

Max nods, unable to find the words he wants to use because he has a feeling ‘fuck you, I’ll do whatever I want with your sister’ seems like a bad way to end the conversation. But as he waits for the elevator in the quiet hall, he knows that staying away from you is going to be near impossible. 

[low-budget-korra]

The lies Arcane Fandom likes to believe

Okay, I've seen a lot of awful takes in other social medias but now they are getting here too and I just can't. So I will talk abt the truth a lot of the fandom chose to ignore. And I'm saying "the truth" because different from a lot of ppl, I've actually watched the show and paid attention to the scenes.

1. Jinx is the only one who has been traumatized

Half of the worst takes about characters like Vi or Caitlyn, wouldn't exist if ppl realize that Jinx WASN'T the only one who got traumatized. Vi spent 7y getting beat up in prison, without eating properly and confined in a dirt cell. And no, she is not the one to blame for the person Jinx became. Jinx has to be held accountable for that, just as much as Silco for feeding her paranoias and manipulating her for years.

2. Caitlyn was a evil character and manipulated Vi

Season 1 Caitlyn shows nothing but empathy and patience, y'all like to say Jinx was a revolutionary but s1 Caitlyn was a revolutionary. "Oh but she was rich, she can't be" oh my sweet summer child...

Anyways, she wanted to end Silco cartel - that was destroying Zaun. She even managed to get a council meeting to talk about this. She wanted to change things and she was acting towards this.

Then she got kidnapped naked, tortured for hours, didn't take the shot that would have saved her mother's life, her mother was murdered, the memorial ceremony was attacked and yet she REFUSED to follow the council's ideas to use full force and invade Zaun. Which led us to

2.1 Caitlyn used the grey against innocents

She DIDN'T. She said it herself that the plan was to capture Silco's goons and destroy the slimmer factories. And we see that in the Hellfire sequence.

So stop spreading that she was using the grey against innocents bc the people she used against it were Chembaroons who provoked a civil war on Zaun for power, and used children labor in its factories. They are far from innocents.

2.2 Caitlyn manipulates Vi

I don't even know where this fake news came from bc I've already watched Arcane 3 times, watch at least 4 reaction channels and a few analysis on yt and no one apart from some of y'all in fandom sees this. Jinx manipulates Vi way more than Caitlyn, for example, she is the one that makes Vi believe that her becoming Jinx is her fault.

3. Viktor and Jayce did nothing wrong

Jayce basically built a Chernobyl above Zaun just bc if Hextech goes bad, people from Zaun would be the ones suffering the consequences and not Piltover.

Y'all like to call Caitlyn a genocide (even tho we didn't see any kill directly from hr actions), when Viktor is literally the one willing to kill people in the thousands just because he believes it's the best call. "I want to evolve all those willing to" excuse me? Sir, what "evolve" even means in this scenario? Bc those "evolved" ppl became nothing more than marionettes with no control over their actions and completely brainwashed.

4. Caitlyn was a dictator, she knew everything that was happening on Zaun and did nothing

Caitlyn was actually a pawn in Ambessa chess, a face to Ambessa actions, a face to take the blame for. Noxus could not just simply invade Piltover and install an Martial Law without the support of a major house like house Kiramman.

Essentially what Ambessa did was promote Caitlyn, and hide behind her status. Because if any other Piltie house questions, she could be like "but I'm just here to support the Kirammans, I'm just doing what Im told"

We see in episode 4 that the Noxians are the ones dealing with Zaun's turf wars. Do y'all actually believe their reports on what's happening was legit? Of course not. Caitlyn made her decisions based on those false reports that she didn't even give two fucks about bc she was still too focused on tracking Jinx. That's why when she started to really see what was going on and questions Ambessa, Ambessa quickly pulls the "mom" card to push Caitlyn back into her web.

Sure, she was still powerful and privileged but she wasn't in full control. And the fact that a lot of the fandom dismisses Ambessa's manipulation shows how good at that she is.

5. Vi choose to have sex instead of helping her suicidal sister

Vi DOESN'T watch Arcane. She doesn't know how bad Jinx was and mind you, last time Jinx was acting weird she blew up things instead of being suicidal. We, the Audience, watch her whole journey and change. Vi only stayed with her for a short period of time and she was in a coma for days. She doesn't know what happened after Isha sacrificed and how much this affected Jinx.

"breaking the cycle" could mean a lot of things and if you listen to her words when Caitlyn arrives, you can see that she clearly thinks Jinx is out there abt to blow something. She is blaming herself for believing in Jinx change of heart and not sad for her being suicidal, this prob actually never crossed Vi's mind.

6. CaitVi was forced

I can't with this ""argument"" CaitVi is the couple that has been built since s1 😭. I take that sometimes they were toxic (like when Cait hit Vi) but to say they were forced...please use it 🧠

7. Silco was a revolutionary and a good father do Jinx

Sure, in the past. There's nothing glorious or revolutionary in running a cartel, having business with corrupted cops and child labor. "But he was getting money to his revolution" my ass. He spent 7y doing nothing but becoming more and more powerful while Zaun became like the Pride Lands when Scar took over. He only gets back to his revolutionary ideas when Jinx stole the Hextech gem.

His beautiful speech doesn't match his horrible actions.

The fact that so many ppl see him as this perfect father figure, is the reason so many ppl so easily fall into abusive relationships. Yes, he took care of her but at the same time, he isolated Jinx from her sister , fed her paranoia and instigated her violence tendencies. And it's so clear bc the moment he was no longer in her life, she started to get better in her mental health.

Anyway to finish this long ass post lmao, I want to say that you are free to dislike and hate who you want and what narrative choice you want. The only thing, that ain't that hard, is be fucking honest abt it. There's no need to create bullshit expectations over your hate, ignoring the CANNON.

[rei-ismyname]

Let's talk R-LDS

R-LDS or Resurrection-Linked Degenerative Sickness was alluded to in X-Men #4 and the Infinity Comics before being named in X-Men #7. We're told that Magneto has it and it's directly caused by Krakoan resurrection/The Five, kinda.

Here's Beast doing some alluding.

In the panels above, we learn that Hank McCoy is the only one working on the problem - the problem being Magneto's loss of his powers and his body breaking down rapidly - his very chromosomes unraveling. He seems quite sure that it could happen to 'any of us' though the lack of quarantine suggests it's not contagious.

The next bit of information we receive is from Magneto and Scott in conversation, reflecting on The Iron Night. They took down a wild sentinel that was attacking the town and Mags lost control over his powers immediately after, requiring Scott to knock him out for safety's sake. Scott is no scientist, and while Magneto is a genius polymath autodidact (with plenty of experience in genetics) it's not a character trait that's seen focus lately. Thus, I'm assuming they're discussing it as amateurs and as patient zero in Magneto's case.

Magneto confidently names the condition for the first time as well as using an acronym for it, suggesting it's confirmed to exist, he's had a positive diagnosis, and they're using the term enough to require shorthand. He even spells out the subtext for us - it was a hidden flaw in Krakoan resurrection. I'll come back to that notion. Scott says 'we don't know that for sure,' implying that R-LDS is just a theory or speculation, which Mags doesn't directly refute. Instead he lays out the worst case scenario. They can't both be right here, so what's the deal? Magneto's symptoms are obviously confirmed, but how did they get from there to here?

If Magneto is the first and only person affected by his condition, why are he and Beast so sure about its providence and everyone being in danger? How could they possibly link it to Krakoan resurrection? I'm no scientist but I do know that there's only so much you can conclude from a single data point. Magneto was indeed only resurrected by the Five once, but he died again after that on Arakko (X-Men Red #7). The body he's in came out of a portal from Overspace in Adam Brashear's underwater base (Resurrection of Magneto #3.) His body suffering a condition borne of something that happened to a different body doesn't make sense. Considering he's the only person to return to life that way AND the only one allegedly with R-LDS, that would be the place to start for Beast's sciencing.

There he is, good as new.

Word of God

In a recent AIPT interview, Tom Brevoort removed any ambiguity and just straight up confirmed it. With the caveat that his recent X-history knowledge seems pretty poor, he is the de jure ultimate authority on the matter. I don't agree with that, and not just because I don't respect him as a creator. This habit of on-panel ambiguity and editorialising in interviews is vexing.

It's especially vexing when he contradicts himself. He counterpoints his own information with some of what I just pointed out, but the fact that they've made a list of who was and wasn't resurrected suggests R-LDS is a plot point they're committed to. I have to wonder why he bothered giving a detailed answer to this question if it's 'yes,' then 'maybe', then 'it will definitely be a thing you'll see as we progress.' Saying all of that and then ending with 'we know very little so far' really makes me wonder what he's thinking. Tom Brevoort could have given his usual cagey answer about not wanting to spoil anything, but he didn't here. I'm saving most of my Brevoort-specific criticism for a separate piece, but this glib and irreverent tone is typical of his commentary - even managing a light jab at Jordan D White.

Frankly, I think it's a graceless and cynical development. There are so many character beats, mistakes, and conflicts to use from the First Krakoan Age that choosing to create R-LDS feels like a shot at the core of hopefulness and creativity that blew our socks off in 2019.

HoxPoX

House of X/Powers of X was hopeful and magical. After a decade plus of endless misery and genocides, dull stories and bizarre characterisation, for once mutants got a W. The ability to use mutants working together to right the horrendous wrongs they'd suffered was central to that - the power of community and cooperation. What they built wasn't perfect but The Five was something they got right.

What would possess someone to take the cornerstone of the greatest X-Men story of all time (don't @ me) and try to tear it down? Remember, when the dust settled we ended up in Moira X life 10E. In 10A, the original Krakoan experiment, the mutants won! They thrived and protected what was theirs against Dominions. It took a literal apex AI God existing outside of space and time directly opposing them to fail. Enigma, on the back foot, sent Omega Sentinel through time to start ORCHIS years early and ensure Krakoa's collapse. Am I to believe 'no, sorry. That was a dead end?'

Haven't we been here before?

We've had mutants suffer from the Legacy Virus and M-Pox already, and I might even be missing other examples of nebulous diseases that threatened to wipe out all mutants. Obviously it's the prerogative of the X-Office to use whatever plot points they want, but do we really have to do this again? There are plenty of ways to sideline Magneto as a combatant that don't require repackaging old storylines. We've even had Hank McCoy decades behind the curve desperately trying to catch up before - in All-New All-Different X-Men.

Small World

Defenders-era Hank McCoy might be the worst possible 616 scientist to tackle this problem. He's literally decades behind the science curve and doesn't have the experience in dealing with anything like this. He's not the same guy that worked on M-Pox or the Legacy Virus. He never set foot on Krakoa and has never met any of the Five. We don't know how much data was recorded or kept from The Five but Beast may not have access to it.

Why isn't he talking to Cecilia Reyes, Forge, Jean Grey, Reed Richards, Doctor Strange, Adam Brashear, Healer, Doctor Nemesis? Even doctor dickhead that extorted Storm has the ability to instantly diagnose anyone. It makes the world feel tiny, and when you're following an era of interconnectedness that's just so disappointing. Portraying him as supremely concerned about 'all of us being ticking time bombs' rings hollow if he's working on it solo. Hank McCoy has always had a sense of arrogance where his scientific ability is concerned but not to this degree. Look at the guy! He's hating the stress he's under.

Sins of Sinister and the White Hot Room

I have to wonder if the implications of linking Magneto's illness to The Five's resurrection have been fully considered. The Sins of Sinister timeline ran for a millennium with the Five resurrecting on an industrial scale. Rasputin IV would have noticed, or the Quiet Council. The mutants left behind in the White Hot Room in RotPox spent 15 years bringing back ALL the dead mutants. That's 16 million, minimum. 15 years is less than a thousand but it's still longer than the First Krakoan Age, several times over. Nobody noticed anything? Elixir, member of the Five and Omega biokinetic, with his unlimited mastery of DNA didn't notice anything? Destiny didn't see mutants falling apart? Sounds dubious as hell to me.

Towards the end of the era many humans were resurrected too. 5% of the Five's work was set aside for bringing back poor children etc through the Phoenix Foundation. Steve Rogers was resurrected into his current body on Judgement Day. I am extremely skeptical that this has been considered, and in Steve's case whether the X-Office can even use him.

Conclusion

Magneto's physical degradation has been swift. Here he is in Uncanny X-Men #700, implied to be at most 6 months before X-Men #1. I think I've demonstrated that the concept is nonsensical and to reiterate, I think it's a terrible narrative choice. If I'm being generous, it'll be interesting to see if they can explain R-LDS in a way that makes sense - if they can do something new and interesting with a tired concept. There's only been one issue since it was introduced, so perhaps I'm jumping the gun on breaking it down. Let's check back in 6 months.

What do you think of R-LDS? Do you think my reasoning is sound? As always, I'd love to hear what other fans think.

[underfvced]

“Cure to Jealousy”

Hashira Headcanons PT. 1

Pairings: Giyuu Tamioka | Sanemi Shinazugawa | Iguro Obanai x Fem! Reader

HC: What would the hashira do when they get jealous?

“Giyuu Tamioka”

(PURE WHOLESOME)

- You are a very shy person. you struggle to communicate with other people due to your Past issues.

- But to giyuu you being too quiet and shy around other people didn't bother him, He accepted you for who you are and loves you for it. He finds it cute when you get easily flustered

- When you returned from your assigned mission with tanjiro Things have been really strange.

- You began to talk more with other people which was very unusual since you can't really start a conversation on your own without someone else having to talk to you first.

- Giyuu was really happy to see you finally getting out of your shell and exploring new things however he can't help but feel a little jealous when you are too close with the other hashira

- Now, Giyuu tomioka isn't the one to be open about his 'feelings' especially when it's about jealousy, He's scared that you might think of him as a possessive weirdo so he just kept it to himself

- One day, After a hashira meeting you were casually talking with sanemi

- Giyuu was a bit curious on how you manage to make more friends so he decided to eavesdrop on you and sanemi even though he was well aware that it was disrespectful.

- "Tch, Your boyfriend is too full of himself he always thinks like he is above us. saying that he isn't like the rest of us, He really pisses me off! Why are you even with him? He's a freak"

- Okay, he wasn't expecting to hear that

- but what did he expect when it's ' Sanemi '

- He didn't really mind when the other hashira made fun of him but what really caught his attention was when sanemi said the sentence ' Why are you even with him '

- Now he's thinking if he really deserves such a beautiful lady like you

- he was already overthinking about the fact that you spend too much time with the other hashira and now another thought was added to his overthinking

- Fast forward, You and giyuu was having a small walk when you noticed that he was too quiet than usual

- "Are you okay Hun?"

- He didn't replied, he just stared at you and slightly nodded

- This is where you knew something was off with him, you can also sense that something is definitely not right

- "You know you can always tell me right?"

- You hold his other hand gently while the both of you are still walking

- He stopped on his tracks making you stop walking as well, you slightly tilted your head in confusion

- "Do you like Sanemi? Or do you like any of the other hashira?"

- This question caught you off-guard, It was really unusual for giyuu to be asking such a question

- You then answered "Of course not" without hesitation

- Giyuu exhaled, Though he was still doubting it.

- "What made you inquired that? You know that I only love you"

- Giyuu squeezed your hand

- "It's just that I noticed for these past few days you are always with the others, I'm happy that you are finally getting out of your shell but.."

- Was he jealous?

- "But what?"

- He looked away still squeezing your hand, unable to look at you directly

- "I'm here too, I want your attention."

- You stared at him in surprise, He wasn't really the type to open up about these kind of stuff and honestly it's the first time you see him like this

- It's really adorable it made your heart jump around

- You let out an 'aw' and tightly embraced him

- "I'm sorry if I ran out of time for you! You could of have told me sooner so I would shower you with my love and affection!"

- Giyuu's mood then lighten up a little with your answer, he patted your head before hugging you back

- "Wait, I have something to confess and to ask.."

- You detached from the hug, letting him speak

- "I happened to heard your conversation with sanemi by accident."

- He paused and you tried to remember your conversation with sanemi since you have such bad memory issues then it clicked

- Before you could say anything he did it first

- "What sanemi said was right. I don't deserve you at all I don't even deserve to be called a 'hashira' aswell. . . You deserve someone better than me and that's why. . ."

- You thought he was going to say you deserve someone else better but it was different

- "I'll be better for you, I can't imagine you with someone else and I definitely won't let someone else have you because I love you"

- ⚠️Y/N.EXE STOPPED WORKING⚠️

- You are a blushing mess, that was so uncalled for

- Giyuu then noticed that your face is red so he put his hand on your forehead to check your temperature

- "Are you alri-"

- Before he could ask you, you interrupted him. You took his hand off your forehead as you stared at him directly

- "be better for me?! Are you insane? you are literally the most perfect man I have ever meet, You are more than enough and I won't let anyone say otherwise!"

- Oops seems like you said it out loud now some people who are passing by stared at you

- After noticing that you are too loud, you gasped and looked at your surroundings hoping no one is around

- But to your horror, ALOT of people was staring and glaring at you for being too loud

- You covered your face in embarrassment, mumbling random stuffs out of embarrassment

- Luckily for giyuu, you didn't noticed how red his face was and how bright his smile is.

- For the first time, Giyuu felt like he was enough. . he felt like he was finally worth something

- He always feel like he isn't enough for no matter how many people he saved or how strong he gets he will never feel enough

- Thanks to you, for the first time in his life he actually appreciated himself

- "Let's go" you muttered as you continued walking still covering your face

- "Wait Y/N."

- You stopped walking as your body faced giyuu and your head faced the ground with still both your hands on your face red from embarrassment

- Giyuu held both your hands as he pulled them away from your face, You then looked at him confused

- "Eh?"

- He cupped your cheeks, staring deep into your E/C with a gentle smile as he pulled you closer to him giving you a passionate kiss.

- He then pulled away from the kiss As he brought you closer to his body embracing you once again.

- "Thank you Y/N, I am really lucky to have you. I love you. . I really do"

- "I love you too"

“Sanemi Shinazugawa”

(WARNING: A bit spicy, Swearing)

- You are a demon slayer who is ranked as a 'Kinoe' and you wanted nothing more than to improve your sword technique and breathing style Unfortunately your Boyfriend Sanemi is always occupied so you couldn't train with him.

- Leaving no choice you decided to ask help from your Friend Kyojuro Rengoku to help you improve your techniques and Breathing style luckily he accepted.

- You now considered kyojuro as your 'Master' After all he was the one training you with different kinds of techniques

- Since kyojuro's training was tough you spend more of your time with him trying to master everything he taught you forgetting that someone at home is waiting for you to return early

- As days turns into weeks, Sanemi was starting to get jealous by how often you are with kyojuro

- He watched you train with kyojuro one time and he noticed how you enjoy training with him how you bond perfectly with him

- Sanemi is the type of person who gets more grumpy and short-tempered when he's jealous so it will be harder to deal with him

- Jealousy was eating sanemi up and one day he just couldn't take it anymore so he decided to confront you

- You were peacefully doing your hair in the living room until some white angry bird barged in

- "Why didn't you just ask me to train you?"

- You then stopped doing your hair as you turned to face him

- "Knocking exist sanemi, To answer your question you were always occupied and I didn't want to disturb you"

- "Tch" he crossed his arms

- "Well I'm not anymore, I can be your trainer"

- At first you were clueless on why he was behaving like this, he didn't even seem to be bothered the first time you told him you were training with kyojuro

- then it hit you, Was he jealous?

- You decided to tease him for a bit, after all sanemi kept on teasing you it's time for a payback

- "No need, Kyojuro can do it"

- The man was pissed

- He was about to say something until you ran off

- "Oops running late, gotta go love ya!"

- "She's so dead when she gets home"

- goodluck for adding fuel to the fire

- Fast forward, after hours of training with Kyojuro, your body was so beat up you could barely walk

- Once you reached your shared estate with sanemi you tried to open the gates however...

- It was locked

- "Sanemi, open the gates!"

- You were basically yelling on top of your lungs and there was still no response

- "Fuck you!"

- You know he did this on purpose and you knew well he could hear you but chooses to ignore you

- You gave him your schedule so he knows exactly when you will return plus he only locks the gates when it's dark, The sun was still up.

- Luckily, you are a bit of expert on sneaking in and out so after a bit of struggle you finally managed to break in

- You still struggled to walk and as you were approaching closer to the door you heard someone clapping

- "Congrats for getting in"

- you gave him an annoyed lock and brushed passed him completely ignoring your white hair boyfriend.

- You are now in the living room, completely passed out on the mattress

- You are already deep in your sleep until you suddenly woke up due to the amount of sweats dripping all over your body, Why was it so hot all of the sudden? Then you looked over to the electric fan

- Somebody turned off the electric fan.

- "Must be that white angry bird asshole"

- Your whole body was still sore due to the harsh training of Kyojuro so you couldn't stand up to turn on the electric fan

- Oh man he was really playing with you, you had no other choice but to call out for his help no matter how much you hated the 'idea'

- Because if you didn't you would probably die because of the heat

- "Sanemi can you please open the electric fan? Pleaseee it's so fucking hot I swear I'm going to die if this lasts longer"

- It was loud enough for Sanemi to hear though it was a quiet for a few seconds until he finally responded

- "Can't kyojuro do it?" He yelled from the other room

- "He isn't even here!"

- You are annoyed now, You just really want the electric fan to be turned on

- "So what? Kyojuro can still do it can he?"

- Okay, you admitted your defeat. It was so hard to win against this grumpy guy

- with a sigh of defeat you finally made a the decision "I'll let you be my trainer"

- Now that caught his attention, he slid the shoji screen as he entered the room you are in finally turning on the electric fan

- "Great deal"

- you rolled your eyes at him as he started smirking as if he was planning something evil

- "Let's waste no time and start training" He said as he started walking towards you

- "Are you for real? I ju-"

- You couldn't finish your sentence as you got distracted by sanemi getting on top of you

- He grabbed both your wrist with one hand and placed them above your head

- "Who gives you the right to speak to your master?"

“Iguro Obanai”

(WARNING: A bit spicy, Threatening)

- You, Giyuu and the kamaboko squad (Tanjiro, Zenitsu, Inosuke) was assigned to a mission, during the mission you almost lost your life protecting your comrades which made Zenitsu developed a small crush for you due to your strong determination and bravery. The mission ended up in success and before returning home zenitsu gave you a bouquet of flowers as his way of thanking you for protecting him and his friends also his way of saying hand in marriage. giyuu then accompanied you back to your shared estate with Iguro.

- Iguro was already waiting for you outside the house and when he saw giyuu next to you and the bouquet in your hands, He was fuming inside even the snake was shocked seeing you walking with giyuu

- "What is that?"

- "Flowers"

- You just looked at him with a nervous smile while giyuu looked like he just wanted to get home

- Iguro approached you and giyuu closer, pulling you away from giyuu and shoving you into his own body

- "Get lost rat-face"

- Iguro was glaring at giyuu and his snake was hissing at him while giyuu just gave him a thumbs-up

- "No problem, I'll be taking my leave. I hope to see you soon Y/N."

- That was a normal way to say Goodbye but for Iguro it sure wasn't

- What does he mean 'Hope' 'to see you soon'

- You waved goodbye to giyuu as he walked away from the area

- "Let's get inside shall we?"

- You said as you held iguro's hand

- "Yeah, but before that"

- in a blink of an eye, he took the bouquet of flowers from your hand and tossed it aside

- "Hey! What was that for? Zenitsu worked hard for that you can't just toss it aside"

- "So 'Zenitsu' is his name huh?"

- you tried to get the flowers from the floor but quickly got distracted when Iguro spoke

- "I have 3 Surprises for you inside"

- Because of curiosity about the 3 surprises waiting for you, you quickly forgot about the flowers zenitsu just gave you

- Iguro then led you to where the surprise are and when you slid the shoji screen open there was a bouquet of flowers which was bigger than what zenitsu gave you and your favorite foods laying in a floor desk

- Upon seeing this you hugged Iguro in excitement as you thank him nonstop

- "Thank you so much~"

- "Anything for the prettiest woman"

- You then walked up to the floor desk, sitting Infront of it and appreciating the flowers while gently touching it

- "That's only 1 and 2"

- You then turned your head to him, a bit confused until you remembered what he said

- There are 3 Surprises

- "Where is 3 then?"

- "You will know later, don't rush it."

- What happened that night is up to you

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- The next day He tried to look for zenitsu and managed to track him down successfully

- All I can say is Zenitsu was TRAUMATIZED

- He never dared look at your direction again or even breath the same air

[hungermakesmonsters]

Devotion & Desire

Chapter Eight

Plot summary : When you, a lone omega, move in across the hall from alpha Bucky Barnes, he knows that his life is about to get a lot more complicated, but he has no idea just how much you’re going to turn his life upside down. You’re both devoted to fixing your past mistakes, but will desire for something more get the better of you?

Pairing : Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Reader

Story Rating : R 

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Angst and smut (but it's not angsty smut). All chapters will contain the usual omegaverse and A/B/O tropes, and explicit smut. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story. 

Word Count : 7.9k

A/N : 😭😭 This is the last chapter which is why it's so freaking long (I probably should have turned it into two chapters but nevermind). I hope you love it.

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE | CHAPTER FOUR | CHAPTER FIVE | CHAPTER SIX | CHAPTER SEVEN

MASTER LIST

Chapter Eight

You didn’t sleep.

Despite knowing that, for the first time in years, you were finally safe, you didn’t sleep.

Every time you closed your eyes you saw him, you felt his teeth on your neck and his hands on your body.

Every time you closed your eyes you felt helpless and alone.

So, instead of sleeping, you dug out your sketch pad and started to draw. It was a mindless task to begin with, your hand seeming to move of its own accord, drawing the same thing you’d drawn countless times before; the Winter Soldier.

It had started as a way to remember, a way to get the violent images of your brother’s murder out of your head but, now, the man you were sketching wasn’t the cold, mechanical assassin who tortured your brother without blinking. He was Bucky. With soft blue eyes, filled with care and sadness. And, now, you needed to get him out of your head for very different reasons.

The hours blurred until, finally, you fell asleep at the table, pencil dropping from your hand.

A few hours later you were woken by the sound of a door closing and you crept to your peephole just in time to see Bucky leaving his apartment.

Your heart almost stopped as he paused and stared directly at your door as if he knew you were there. Then you saw him inhale through his nose like he was trying to find your scent. Only it wasn't there, with your gland gone, your scent was too weak to linger, and that thought made your chest hurt.

A moment later, he was gone.

For the first day you remained hidden away in your apartment but you knew you couldn't survive like that. You were still owed a fortnight's worth of wages from Gracie’s and you knew that you would need the money if you were going to find a new place to live.

The second day, you managed to slip out of the building unnoticed and get to Gracie’s without being recognised, and lingered outside in the cold for five long minutes, working up the nerve to step inside.

The moment Gracie saw you, her arms were around you and she was babbling about how worried she'd been and how the handsome alpha who used to walk you to work had told her you'd been hurt. Bucky. Bucky had been in to tell her that you were hurt - who else had he told?

You kept your hood up, covering your neck and most of the bandaging. She barely let you get a word in edgeways and, even though you knew it should have been heart-warming that she cared so much, all you felt was numbness knowing that you'd deceived her.

“I just need my last paycheck,” you finally managed to tell her.

“I'll get it for you and don't you worry you can come back to work whenever you're feeling up to it.”

“Back? No, I - I'm not coming back,” you said, confused and feeling worse than ever.

“I know it probably feels like that now, but you'll start to feel like yourself again in no time.”

You stood dumbfounded, not wanting to argue, not wanting to tell her that this was you and there was no going back to the person you'd been pretending to be. Gracie had always been so sweet and kind to you that you didn’t have the heart to ruin things between you.

With your paycheck she gave you an apple pie, commenting on how you looked like you hadn't been eating. You tried to refuse, then tried to offer to pay, but Gracie wouldn’t have it. She ushered you out the door, telling you to head home before the weather turned. 

Unfortunately, you could have done with that warning sooner, as the skies seemed to open the moment you were halfway home. Cold rain quickly soaked through your clothes and threatened to soak through the pie box too.

And that wasn’t even close to the end of your bad luck.

“Mouse!” 

You heard the call just as the elevator doors were closing and, for a brief and wonderful moment, you thought that you’d get away, but a hand slipped between the doors before they could close.

Nikki stepped into the elevator and you found yourself shrinking back.

“Didn’t you hear me?” She asked.

“I -” you didn’t know what to say so you stopped talking and just let out a sigh.

There was a moment of silence and you didn’t even notice that Nikki didn’t hit the button for her floor.

“Bucky told us what happened,” she said.

“Okay,” was all you could think to answer with. 

Again, you felt like you had at Gracie’s; like the moment was happening to someone else and you were just watching it unfold, knowing that there was nothing you could really do to change the predetermined outcome.

“You lied to us.”

“Yeah.”

“Why?” She asked.

The elevator dinged, the doors slid open and you started to move towards your door, completely on autopilot. Nikki followed after, not saying another word. And, as you stepped into your apartment, you left the door open so she could follow.

Kicking off your wet shoes, you made your way to the kitchen to put the pie box down before shrugging out of your wet hoodie, letting it drop to the floor. You didn’t realise your mistake until you heard Nikki inhale sharply at the bandaging around your neck.

“What happened?” She asked.

“I thought Bucky told you.”

“He said you’d been hurt, but he didn’t know how bad it was.”

You almost shrank back as she closed the distance to look at you, and you saw her face drop as she took in the sight of you.

“It's fine,” you muttered, shivering.

“Nothing about any of this is fine,” she said, ducking her head a little as she tried to get a better look at the bandaging.

You sighed knowing that she was right, but also knowing that it didn't matter anymore.

“What do you want, Nikki?”

“I wanted to see if you were alright, which clearly you're not.”

For the first time since you’d met her, you heard anger in her voice; anger that was directed at you. Your stomach knotted as you were, once again, stuck confronting the life you could have had if you hadn’t gone after Bucky.

“Does it matter anymore?” You asked, not bothering to hold back a tired, resigned sigh.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Bucky told you that I lied about everything, so why do you even care if I'm alright?”

“Because you're my friend.” She said friend, but the tone of her voice didn’t exactly carry the warmth of friendship.

“I'm not though, am I? You don’t even know me.”

“So you’re telling me that it was all lies? Every single second?”

Were you? Some part of you wanted to say yes, to act like you hadn’t enjoyed her and Jade’s company, that you’d just used the pair of them. But you couldn’t. It wasn’t true. It hadn’t all been an act, you did like them, and you regretted ever lying to them.

“No, but -” you took an awkward, shuddered breath, trembling from the cold of your damp clothes, “- I’m not that person. I’m not just some weak, dumb omega.”

“I never thought you were weak or dumb,” she countered, sounding genuinely offended. “None of us ever thought that.”

You could have had this, they would have accepted you. The thought comes to you unbidden and unwanted, and it’s enough to have you turning away from her, bracing yourself on the kitchen counter.

“Is that really what you thought?” Nikki continued. “That we only wanted you around because we thought you were some silly little omega who couldn’t look after herself?”

“That’s all anyone ever sees,” you answered back, tone turning sharp. “Poor little omega who needs to be protected because she can’t take care of herself, silly little omega who just needs an alpha, dumb little omega who -”

“Shut up. You’re the only one here who thinks any of that shit.”

“No, I’m not. Bucky thinks it,” you said softly, keeping your back to her. “He only sees me as an omega.”

“You’re wrong,” Nikki said, continuing when you let out a huff of disbelief. “You haven’t even seen him since you got back, have you?”

“No, why would I?”

“He’s a mess because of you, because of what happened to you. He cares about you.”

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t matter anymore either.”

“How can you say that, after everything he’s done to try and help you?” 

The anger had been slowly building, but now it seemed like it had reached a boiling point. Nikki was pissed and some part of you felt like maybe you’d been deliberately trying to rile her so she’d lose her temper and leave. But instead of leaving, she was standing her ground, trying to convince you that you were wrong.

“Because it doesn’t matter anymore,” you said again, finally turning back to face her, letting her get a good look at you, at how broken you were. “Even if I wanted to be what he wants me to be, I can’t. The man who took me, he...” tears seemed to come from nowhere, your voice breaking despite your best efforts to stay in control. “They had to remove my gland, I - I can’t even... I can’t...”

You started to turn away again, not wanting to face her until you had your emotions in check again, but before you could, Nikki’s arms were around you, pulling you into a tight hug.

“It’s okay,” she said softly.

“It’s not - it’s not. He broke me and I - I fucked everything up. Bucky just wanted an omega and I can’t even be that any more. I’m... I’m nothing now,” you sobbed.

It all started to come out, the upset and the trauma, the part of you that couldn’t come to terms with what had been done to you.

“You’re not nothing,” Nikki told you firmly. “You’re my friend.”

It didn’t matter, the words barely even sank in. You were lost to your spiralling thoughts but, after a few minutes, you managed to pull away from her.

“I’m - I’m fine,” you said, awkwardly scrubbing at your cheeks with your sleeve, doing your best to pretend your little outburst hadn’t just happened. “You should... you should go.”

“No,” was Nikki’s answer. Straight to the point. “I’m not leaving until I’ve gotten some answers.”

For a few seconds you just stared at her, wanting to argue but too exhausted to even get the first word out.

“Go sit down before you fall down,” Nikki ordered. “I’ll make a pot of coffee.”

You did as you were told, going along with it simply because it seemed easier than arguing. From your seat, you watched her moving around your kitchen as she had done so many times before. You were so tired that you didn’t even think to clear the table as she sat down and pushed a mug towards you.

“What’s this?” She asked, reaching for the stack of sketches you’d left on the table before you could stop her.

You felt your cheeks start to warm as she looked over the first few pages; some newer ones of Bucky, and some older of the Winter Soldier the night he killed your brother. For a few seconds you felt frozen before awkwardly trying to claw the sketches back.

“It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” Nikki countered, her expression somewhere between a smirk and worry.

“You said Bucky told you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m starting to think maybe he didn’t tell me everything. So, why don’t you start from the start?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re adamant that I shouldn’t think of you as my friend anymore, and I want to know exactly why,” she answered with a shrug.

For a moment you looked down at the drink she’d placed in front of you, your cold hands wrapping around the mug as you let out a heavy sigh.

“Fifteen years ago, the Winter Soldier killed my brother...”

You started from the start, telling her about your brother’s murder and how your quest for revenge had landed you with Rumlow, before explaining how you’d tracked Bucky down after the blip and concocted a plan to get close enough to kill him.

Then, in less detail, you explained the last couple of weeks, and how Bucky had cared for you during your heat. Nikki stayed silent, letting you explain it, right up to the hospital, then you just trailed off into a shrug.

“You didn’t let him see you?” She asked.

You shook your head and, instead of answering, you lifted your mug and took a drink. You’d been speaking for so long that your coffee was almost cold.

“Why not?” She asked.

“I don’t want him to see me like this, I don’t -” you hesitated for a second as you voice broke and your eyes threatened fresh tears, “- it’s just too much. Everything’s changed and there’s no way to fix it.”

“You’re not the only one who’s hurting,” Nikki said softly. “No matter what you think it’s pretty fucking obvious that he cares about you. And you -” she waved at the stack of sketches, “- you’ve clearly got unfinished business with him.”

And then, without warning, before you could even think to say anything, she was getting to her feet.

“Nothing you told me has changed anything,” she said decidedly, “we’re still friends.”

Speechless, you could only watch as she started to head towards the door. You didn’t know if she had somewhere to be or if she’d realised you desperately wanted to be alone - whatever it was, you were glad she was leaving.

“But,” she started again as she reached the door, glancing back at you over her shoulder, “as your friend, I think you owe it to yourself to talk to Bucky.”

She left before you could protest, before you could even tell her that you were planning on leaving and that it really didn’t matter anymore. You were left more confused than ever, not understanding how she could just shrug off everything that you’d done and declare that you were still her friend.

Didn’t you get a say? Didn’t you get to decide how she - how anyone - saw you?

(No. No, of course you didn’t. All this time you’d been trying so hard to control other people’s perception of you, but you were starting to realise that it was impossible.)

You spent the rest of the day in your apartment, looking for new places to live that you could actually afford (there was nothing). You ate some of the pie that Gracie had given you and, in the evening, you ended up at the table again with a pencil in hand.

You just wanted him out of your head; you wanted to forget the softness in his eyes before he’d kissed you that last time, and you wanted to forget how that softness had been replaced by fear and worry the last time you’d seen him as he’d been handing you off to paramedics. You’d always felt empty, but never like this before.

Again, you woke up slumped over a half-finished sketch, a half-hearted attempt to capture his smile on paper. Looking at it in the cold light of day, you weren’t happy with it. It seemed flat and dull, and it didn’t fill your stomach with butterflies the way his rare, happy smiles did.

A hot shower and a change of clothes had you feeling... well, not entirely human but functional at least. Washing around the bandages was a nightmare that had you choking back tears. It was almost funny how you could force away the thoughts of what had been done to you, only to find yourself retraumatised the moment you saw the bandages or moved your neck in such a way that it caused you pain.

The next issue to overcome was your kitchen. You’d never been one for stocking up and, what little you had had in the fridge had gone bad in the weeks that you’d been away, leaving you with nothing but the last of the apple pie to eat and, as much as you liked Gracie’s apple pie, even you knew that you couldn’t survive on it

So, again, you decided that you’d brave the outside world. 

You pulled your hood up and slipped out into the hallway but, as you went to lock the door, the keys slipped from your fingers. As you leaned down to pick them up, you heard Bucky’s door open and you froze, caught between thoughts of diving back into your apartment and fleeing down the hallway.

Indecision saw you doing neither and, instead, you picked up your keys and remained awkwardly frozen. You didn’t turn to look or lift your head, you just stood there.

“They let you out of the hospital,” he said, though there was an unspoken question behind his words; why didn’t you tell me?

You let out a soft sigh. “No, I - I checked myself out.”

“You checked yourself out?” He repeated, almost sounding worried. “Are you - are you okay?”

The shrug you gave was lost somewhere beneath the oversized hoodie. It was pointless to get into it and you were certain he wouldn’t understand. You’d never be alright again,

“Can we just -” he started again, an awkwardness filling his tone, “- can we talk?”

What was there to talk about? What was left? Still, you didn’t look at him.

Oh.

“I’m not going to try to kill you again if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Of course that was it. Of course that was all he cared about. 

Not waiting for his answer, for his relief, you started to walk away from him, feeling like you’d said all that needed to be said to him.

“Wait, that’s not -” he sighed, following after you, his hand finding your wrist and stopping you in your tracks, “- that’s not what this is about. You know that’s not what this is about, don’t you?”

His hand gave a tug on your wrist and, before you could think better of it, you obliged him and turned back towards him, still keeping your head down and your face obscured by the hood.

“Then what, Bucky?” You asked, not sure you wanted him to answer. “What happened was - you said it yourself, it was just biology. I’m an omega, you’re an alpha. Neither of us were thinking straight.”

“I was. And I think you were too, at least for the moments that count.”

You shook your head and took a step back, pulling away from his grasp.

You knew what he was talking about, all those little moments when you’d let your guard down; the night you’d slept in his arms on the floor, the time you’d fallen asleep with your head on his lap as he talked you through the pain, and the way you’d fucked him that final time, offering yourself to him.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” you answered back bitterly, knowing he wouldn’t want you if he knew about your injuries.

What alpha in their right mind would want an omega that couldn’t be claimed or mated?

“What are you talking about? Of course it still matters, it’s -”

“He ruined me, Bucky,” you interrupted. “They had to remove my mating gland. Now, I - I can’t even...”

Your voice broke and you forced yourself to stop, unwilling to cry in front of him, unwilling to show any more weakness.

While you’d never liked being an omega, never liked feeling like your only purpose in life was to be mated to some alpha, now you felt like only half a person. You weren’t even an omega anymore, you were something less than that. If you couldn’t be mated, you’d never be loved.

Three weeks ago that wouldn’t have bothered you but, since coming to terms with your brother’s death, you suddenly felt like your life was empty and there was nothing left for you.

“Let me see,” he asked softly.

You shook your head but made no effort to stop him as he stepped closer, and you didn’t pull away as his hand slowly pushed your hood down. You looked off to the side, refusing to make eye contact as his fingers ghosted over the bandaging. When you still refused to look at him, his hand cupped your cheek and he silently urged you to face him.

“This doesn’t change anything,” he told you with a certainty you hadn’t expected.

“Of course it does,” you said, taking a step back, out of his grasp again, acutely feeling the warm touch of his hand on your cheek. “I can’t even pretend to be a good little omega for you like this.”

Realisation hit him like a ton of bricks, almost flooring him. Those three little words that he’d let slip in the heat of the moment, exposing what he wanted, what he wanted you to be for him - not you as you were, but a good little omega.

His mouth opened but, for a few seconds, no words came out.

“That’s why you ran? Because I said that?”

It didn’t matter how he meant for it to sound, you only heard it the way you wanted to hear it; he thought you were stupid, he thought it was your fault for running off and getting yourself caught by Rumlow. You only had yourself to blame for not wanting to be a good little omega.

You turned and started walking away, feeling sick to your stomach.

“Stop, c’mon, just talk to me. Please,” he pleaded, following after you. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve said it. I didn’t mean it like -”

“I’m not what you want, Bucky,” you said as you hit the elevator call button. “I wouldn’t play the good little omega for you even if I could.”

“Good,” he said, moving to stand in front of you, between you and the elevator doors, desperately trying to get you to look at him. “I don’t want an omega, I want you. The rest doesn’t matter.”

“What about biology?”

After all, that was what had started all of this, wasn’t it? If it hadn’t been for your heat the two of you would never have started getting close. And, now, you couldn’t satisfy his biological desires to mate and claim.

“Fuck biology. I’m not exactly a regular alpha, am I?” He answered back before repeating; “this doesn’t change anything.”

“It changes everything for me, Bucky,” you tried to explain. “I’ll never belong, I’ll never be loved, I’ll -”

“I love you,” he admitted clumsily and, suddenly, you felt like you were suffocating.

You took a step back, shaking your head, the emptiness inside you feeling like it was growing bigger, turning into a gaping chasm beneath your ribs.

“Don’t say that! Don’t lie to me!” You said, your voice cracking and breaking under the strain of it all.

“I don’t need to put a mark on your neck to know that I love you,” he carried on. “I don’t need you to belong to me, I want you to want to be with me.”

“Stop it! Stop saying that. You don’t love me. You can’t.”

Before he could answer, the elevator doors slid open and you quickly pushed past him, trying to get away. But Bucky followed after you, not willing to let you walk away.

“Don’t tell me how I feel,” he said, almost snapping. There was an anger in his tone that you hadn’t really heard before. “I’ve spent enough of my life being told how to think and feel, and I’ll be damned if I go back to that.”

“You don’t love me, Bucky. How could you? You don’t even know me,” you replied, hitting the button for the ground floor, far harder than necessary. “It’s not love, it’s some dumb alpha urge to claim an omega, and you can’t. No one can. Brock saw to that.”

“Will you just fucking listen to me? I don’t care about claiming you. I care about you,” he answered back without hesitation. “What are you so afraid of that you won’t even hear me out?”

Something inside of you snapped at those words and, before you could think about what you were doing, you were shoving him, your open hands slamming against his chest, barely moving him. Again and again, as hard as you could and, when he still didn’t move, you balled your fists and started to bring them down against him.

You weren’t afraid.

You weren’t weak.

You weren’t that scared little omega who hid away while her brother was being murdered.

You weren’t the pathetic little omega that Brock Rumlow had kept for all those years.

You weren’t the weak and tired little omega who couldn’t stop him from tearing your gland.

And you weren’t the sad little omega who’d cried because Bucky had left her to get breakfast.

You weren’t those things anymore. You couldn’t be that person anymore.

“I’m not afraid! I’m not afraid of anything!” You screamed as you hit him. “I’m not some scared little omega who needs protecting. I’m not -”

His arms closed around you, pulling you close, stopping your assault on him.

A sob clawed its way from your throat as you tried to escape his hold, but Bucky just held you tighter. Everything started to come out. You just couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“I know,” he said softly, “I know you’re not. You’re the bravest person I know, and I’m so sorry that I fucked up. You’ve always been so much more than an omega to me. I only said it because I thought that was what you wanted; I thought you just wanted an alpha. When you asked me if it was just about biology, I should have been honest. It was never about biology for me.”

And, just like that, he managed to turn everything you’d believed on its head.

You had thought that you were nothing more than an omega to him and, all the while, he’d  thought he was nothing more than an alpha being used to help you through your heat. How had you both gotten it so wrong? You managed to look up, at him, at the pained look on his face and all you wanted was to understand.

But it was too late.

You knew that you couldn’t handle the pain of almost having him and losing him again, not now, not after everything that you’d been through.

“Mouse, I -” 

He didn’t get a chance to finish.

The elevator doors slid open and you squirmed from his grasp, heading for the door and out onto the street, pulling your hood up as you went. You didn’t even stop as almost knocked over Nikki and Jade on their way into the building, and you certainly didn’t stop when you heard voices calling after you.

You lost yourself for hours, wandering through New York, ducking into the busy crowds of the city, losing yourself in the noise and the bustle - anything not to think about what had happened and what Bucky had told you. 

It felt cruel. It felt needlessly nasty for him to tell you that he loved you now that you couldn’t ever really be with him.

But, on the other hand, there was something else, something hopefully that you didn’t dare think about.

What if he really could love you as you were; unclaimable, unmateable?

It was dark when you returned home, exhausted and without the food that you’d originally left to get. You slipped into your apartment and wanted nothing more than to fall into your warm bed and sleep until all of your problems went away.

So, of course, you should have known that wasn’t how the evening was going to go.

The knock on the door came about fifteen minutes after you got in. At first you tried to ignore it but whoever it was wouldn’t stop.

Finally, you checked the peephole and saw Nikki and Jade standing in the hallway, not looking like they were planning on leaving before seeing you.

“Go away,” you muttered loud enough for them to hear.

“Not happening,” Jade answered. “Open up, we’ve got Thai food.”

“I don’t want -” you started only to find yourself interrupted by Nikki.

“You can either open up, or we can spend the rest of the night out here banging on the door, mouse.”

You knew that they would. You knew that you wouldn’t get a moment of peace until the pair of them got what they wanted.

With a sigh, you unlocked the door and slowly started to open it. That little gesture was more than enough to have the pair of them barging into your apartment before you could even think about reconsidering.

The moment you were hit by the smell of Thai food, your stomach let out an uncomfortable grumble.

As you closed the door, they made their way to your kitchen, grabbing plates and cutlery, before moving to the table and starting to set out the food. And you just watched, knowing there was nothing you could possibly say or do to stop them. You didn’t even flinch when Jade started to stack your sketches, taking a moment to look at them.

“You were right, these are really good,” she said to Nikki, and your cheeks instantly started to warm. “Have you shown them to Bucky?”

Your head shook and your gaze dropped, not wanting to think about the alpha across the hall or his declarations of love.

You were beckoned to the table and you took a seat as your favourite Thai dish was placed in front of you, along with a glass of wine.

“Not that this doesn’t look great but... why are you doing this?” You finally asked.

“Because you’re our friend and I saw how empty your cupboards were yesterday,” Nikki shrugged, tucking into her own meal. “You’ve been through a lot and we wanted to make sure you’re looking after yourself.”

“And you looked upset earlier,” Jade added softly.

“And that,” Nikki agreed. “So, are you gonna tell us what happened, or should we ask Bucky?”

With a sigh, you slumped back on your chair, not even managing to take a single bite of food before the conversation shifted to that awkward place. They were Bucky’s friends, you had to remind yourself, of course they were worried about him.

(But, clearly they were your friends too, otherwise they wouldn’t have brought you your favourite food, right? Could it really be possible that they wanted the best for you and Bucky?)

“He told me he loves me,” you confessed, voice quiet, feeling uncertain about saying it aloud as if you were scared it would sound completely ridiculous coming from your mouth.

“And what did you say?” Nikki prompted.

You stalled by reaching for your wine glass and taking a long drink, but they waited, neither of them saying a thing.

“I told him that he couldn’t love me, I’m not -”

“That is such bullshit.”

“Nikki,” Jade said, chastising her girlfriend for her tone, but Nikki didn’t seem to care.

“Of course he loves you. Look at everything he’s been through for you,” Nikki said. “If you don’t love him, that’s fine, that’s your choice, but you don’t get to dictate how he feels about you.”

She was right.

You hated that she was right, hated that it reminded you of what he’d said about people telling him how to think and feel. You were no better than the people who’d hurt him.

“I can’t be what he wants me to be,” you tried again, not really sure who you were trying to convince anymore.

“What does he want you to be?” Jade asked.

“What did he ask you to be?” Nikki added, almost as if she could sense you were going to answer with what you thought rather than what Bucky had told you himself.

“Me,” you answered, your voice turning quieter still. “He said he just wanted me to be me.”

Your stomach hurt and it wasn’t the hunger pangs causing it.

Bucky wanted you. 

He was the first person to ever want you.

He wanted you even now with your gland gone. 

He wanted you, even though you had nothing to offer him.

It was never about you being an omega or him being an alpha. He saw you as a person and he’d let you see him as one too. And, for that, you’d tried to push him away.

A tear rolled down your cheek and, instead of continuing the conversation, you reached for your fork and started to eat.

Nikki and Jade stayed silent, letting you process everything, letting you reach your own conclusions in your own time. You didn’t look at them, but you could feel their gazes wandering to you every now and then as they ate. There wasn’t much to say after that though, for the rest of the meal, you found yourself thinking over every little moment you’d shared with Bucky, re-examining it under a new lens.

He’d brought you your favourite cereal.

He’d held you under the freezing cold water of the shower to help with your fever.

He’d always let you decide what you wanted from him, he’d never once tried to push or tried to convince you, and he’d only ever kissed you when you let him.

He’d trusted you enough to tell you about his time with Hydra.

If he’d wanted an omega, he could have claimed you the last time you’d had sex. You’d offered him your neck, your gland, and if he hadn’t said those three little words, you would have let him claim you.

When the conversation started up again, it was muted and you only half listened as Jade and Nikki spoke, clearing up the mess before letting themselves out. Nikki lingered in the doorway, telling you she’d be back tomorrow and all you could offer in response was a nod. 

Already, you were starting to understand that there was no getting rid of her and, now you’d had a chance to think about it, you didn’t want to. You didn’t want to be alone anymore.

You were left with your thoughts and you kept circling back to the same thing. Bucky.

A few hours had passed since Nikki and Jade left when you found yourself slipping out of your apartment and into the hallway, eyes fixed on Bucky’s front door.

His scent lingered outside his door, stronger than you remembered it ever being. You found yourself closing your eyes and breathing it in, remembering what it was like to be wrapped up in his arms, face pressed against his neck, basking in his scent.

Before you could second guess or change your mind, you stepped forwards, knocking on his door. 

Ten seconds passed - long enough for you to take a step back, to start to think you might be making a mistake. But then the door opened.

Your eyes went wide when you saw him, wearing nothing but his boxers, his skin flush. He took one look at you and, suddenly, you felt breathless, smothered by his scent and inexorably drawn to him. Shit, you realised entirely too late, his rut had hit.

“What?” He asked.

You could see his knuckles turning white where he gripped the door, anchoring himself in place, like he didn’t trust himself not to reach for you.

“I just - I -” you started and stopped, struggling to find the words. “I wanted to say I was sorry.”

“For what?”

And that was the million dollar question, wasn’t it?

“Everything. What I said earlier, how I’ve been acting, I -” you shook your head. A moment later, you noticed the way his chest was rising and falling and you knew that it was a stupid time to try and have a heartfelt conversation. “A-are you okay?”

“Fine, just -”

“Your rut?”

Bucky nodded.

Part of you wanted to shrink back, to retreat to your apartment, but another part of you was sick of running.

Instead of stepping back, you stepped forward, pushing against the door and into his apartment. Bucky moved out of the way, a confused expression on his face. But, despite his uncertainty, you could tell he was still in control of himself. You could tell that you’d always be safe with him.

He let the door fall shut as he turned to face you, not moving towards you, letting you decide what you wanted - if you wanted anything at all.

And that was precisely why you took a step towards him, closing the distance so you could place a hand on his bare chest, right above his racing heart. His skin was hot to the touch, clammy, but it was nowhere near as bad as you had been expecting. His rut must have only just started in the last couple of hours.

“Did you mean it?” You asked softly.

“Every word. I love you.”

You leaned closer, wrapping your arm around his waist and resting your head on his chest. Bucky pressed his nose into your hair and inhaled deeply, as if you were his and your scent alone would see him through this. But the second he realised what he was doing, he pulled back a little.

“What are you doing here?” He asked.

“You helped me...”

“Help? Is that all it is?” His voice betrayed his pain at the thought and had your stomach tying itself in knots.

“I - I don’t know what it is, Bucky,” you confessed, lifting your head to look him in the eyes again. “I want to be here. I want to be with you, but I can’t be yours...”

“I don’t need you to belong to me. I just want you to let me love you.”

“What if I can’t?” You asked, giving away your insecurities. “I don’t know how. What if I fuck it up?”

“You won’t,” he answered. “Can we just try?”

Despite your fears, you managed a nod, and it was all the sign that Bucky needed.

His hands framed your face and he kissed you. He kissed you like it was the first time all over again, he kissed you like a man starved of affection, like a man who really did love you. You pressed closer to him, both arms wrapping around his waist as you finally surrendered to what you wanted.

“Tell me this is okay?” He muttered against your lips. “I don’t want to rush you or hurt you.”

Your heart bled at his compassion, the way he was putting you first even though he was going through his rut, and you knew that he’d stop if you asked him to. But you didn’t. You didn’t want it to stop. No, you wanted something good to finally come from all the bad.

“It’s okay,” you said. “Please, don’t stop.”

He lifted you off your legs quickly wrapped around him as he carried you into the bedroom. 

It felt like that first night all over again, only this time you weren’t going to ruin it. 

He sat with you on his lap and, already, you could feel the press of his erection between your thighs and it was enough to cause you to squirm, your hips eagerly rocking against his. Little moans and whimpers quickly started to spill from your lips and into his, but it wasn’t enough. 

(When it came to Bucky, nothing would ever be enough.)

Pulling back a little, you sank to your knees between his legs, tugging his boxers down. You were sure to keep your hands where he could see them, your fingers gripping his thighs as you bowed your head and parted your lips. Bucky’s fingers tangled in your hair, but he didn’t try to move you, he let you go at your own pace. 

A low and breathy groan spilled from him as the tip of his cock slipped between your lips and you started to lightly suck, running your tongue over his slit and lapping up everything that leaked from him.

Looking up at him, you felt yourself wanting to submit, wanting to give yourself to him in whatever way that you could. His heavy scent already had slick pooling between your thighs, eager to feel him inside you again. 

One of your hands moved to grip the base of his cock as your lips sunk down it and you felt him twitch in your mouth, the thick vein on the underside of his shaft throbbing with every little move you made. 

You started slowly, bobbing your head and dragging your lips up and down him, letting out the sweetest little moans for him, while Bucky panted and groaned like he was already on the brink. Your eyes watered as he nudged the back of your throat, but you didn’t let that stop you, you just blinked and carried on.

His mouth went slack and you could see him fight against himself, desperately trying to hold back. That was when you doubled down. Hollowing your cheeks against him, you moved faster, chasing your lips with your hand, making sure no inch of his cock went untouched.

“Fuck, mouse, I’m -” he tried to warn you but it was too late.

Bucky groaned your name as his cock started to pulse, his hip bucking upwards as he started to fill your mouth. You stayed where you were, lips wrapped tight around him, your eyes fixed on his.

(Fuck. How were you only just noticing how beautiful he was when he came?)

Finally, you sat back on your heels, wiping your lips with the back of your hand as you looked up at him.

“So that’s what that feels like when you don’t try to stab me,” Bucky joked breathlessly, a ridiculous grin tugging at his lips.

You tried your best to suppress a laugh, but it managed to escape you. And it reminded you why him, why you wanted this (whatever this ended up being).

He reached for you, helping pull you back onto his lap so he could kiss you again, groaning as he tasted himself on your lips. Almost immediately, he was hard again, and you were quickly tugging off your shirt and bra.

“Mouse, are you sure?” He asked again, barely able to pull himself from your lips.

“Yes, Bucky,” you told him just as desperately. “I want you.”

He turned, dropping you onto your back on the bed and pulling off your leggings and panties, leaving you completely bared to him. Without thinking or waiting for him to say anything, you got on all four, presenting yourself to him, but you quickly found yourself flipped onto your back again.

“I want to see your face, mouse. I want to see all of you,” Bucky told you.

You watched as he crawled onto the bed and over you, his hands and lips skimming up your stomach and over your chest until he was above you.

As you pulled him down into another eager kiss, he slipped a hand between your legs. You gasped against his lips as two fingers slid into your slick pussy and started to grind yourself against his hand, desperate to show him that you wanted this.

You were already so worked up from sucking his cock that you easily fell apart for him, and you knew that was precisely what Bucky wanted from you. He wanted you to be ready for his cock and, while he was doing everything he could to try and make this about your pleasure as much as his own, you could tell his rut was taking its toll on his patience. 

You moaned his name when you felt the press of his cock at your entrance and arched your back at the all too familiar feeling of him slowly filling you. Your arms wrapped tight around him and your thigh hitched on his hip. It was perfect, amazing. It was all you’d ever need.

He stilled inside you once you’d taken every inch, staring down at you, checking for any signs of discomfort.

“It’s okay,” you said in a low whine. “I’m okay. Bucky, please -”

Bucky didn’t make you beg (though you were sure you would have). His hips started to move, slowly at first, but the gentle pace didn’t last for long. You eyes rolled back and your back bowed, pressing your body against his as he finally gave in to his base instincts and let his rut control him.

It didn’t take much for you to come again, crying out beneath him as he fucked you through your orgasm, letting out the filthiest sounds you’d ever heard from him as he did. Every drive of his hips forced a moan from you, and every sound was in worship of him and what he was doing to you.

“Fuck, Bucky!” You almost screamed, not even caring to think about how half the building might be able to hear you.

He kissed you to stifle some of the noise that you were both making and it wasn’t long before you were coming again for him, your body seeming to want to completely submit to him and everything he was doing.

After an unspecified amount of time, his thrusts started to become shorter, more desperate.

“Mouse...” he warned, his voice an awkward gasp, not stopping or slowing.

Rationally, you knew what letting him come inside you meant during his rut, but you didn’t want to think rationally. You wanted this. You wanted Bucky. You wanted to submit to him and take his knot.

“Don’t pull out,” you finally gasped, your fingers pressing into his back, holding him tight against you.

There was no telling if it was your words or just the fact that he’d been close, but the moment you finished speaking, you felt him start to pulse inside you. The sensation alone was enough to push you into another orgasm, your walls fluttering and trembling as you felt his knot start to swell inside you, trapping you together.

Your eyes rolled back and a series of desperate moans spilled from you.

“Alpha,” you groaned, giving yourself over to him completely, your eyes closing.

Your head moved, presenting your bandaged neck, even though you knew he couldn’t mark you or claim you. His hand gripped your chin, turning your face towards him as he leaned in and kissed your lips.

“I love you,” he groaned into your mouth before kissing you again.

When he finally came up for air, he pressed his forehead to yours, still panting, still completely overwhelmed. You reached up, fingers running through his sweat-damp hair, just as overcome by the moment as he was. You’d never experienced a moment like this and you quickly understood why.

“I - I love you too, Bucky,” you confessed.

Your arms gripped tight around him, letting him know that you didn’t want him to move, that you were happy with the weight of him on top of you while his knot locked into place and he came inside you, his cock twitching as it pumped you full. You nuzzled against his neck, intoxicated by his scent, completely overwhelmed in a new and amazing way. 

“Stay with me,” he asked breathlessly. “Not as my omega, but as the person I love.”

“Yes,” you answered without a second of hesitation.

End Note : And that's the end😭 I've had a blast writing this. I never thought I'd enjoy writing omegaverse this much so that's been an interesting discovery. I might come back to this and write an epilogue but I'm actually pretty happy with where this ended; it's open enough that I can come back to it for a second fic but it's also sweet enough that I don't think (or at least I hope) no one is disappointed??

Thanks so much for sticking with this, I really hope you've enjoyed it. I know I'm not great with comments and reblogs but I promise I do read every response that I get even if I don't get around to replying and it's really meant so much to read everything you've all had to say about this one! (also same goes for comments on Ao3)

I do have a potential idea for another Bucky fic in future, so feel free to stick around for that (it won't be until the new year because working retail over the holidays is draining enough without starting a new fic).

As always, reblogs/comments/likes/asks are always appreciated. Thanks so much for reading, hope you have a great day!

Tag List : @greatenthusiasttidalwave @bighappypiels @maddiedrmr @dreadfulxives18 @scott-loki-barnes

@thecraziestcrayon @silas-aeiou @danzer8705 @notpotatocap @prttylight

@skittslackoffilter @mcira @chimchoom @highwaytomichelle

[cheynovak]

Shadows and Songs 2

Azriel x Y/N female Illyrian

Summary: Azriel saved Y/N. Her wings where taken from her. She barely survived, the only thing she remembers during recovering is hearing a voice sing.

Warnings: Nothing explicit, build up tension, fight, anger, ...

English isn't my first language.

Please do not copy my work. Likes, reblogs and comments are welcome.

The days that followed were quiet, but not in the way they’d been when I first came to the House of Wind. Back then, the silence had been suffocating—too thick to breathe through, heavy with memories I wanted to escape. Now, it was… strange.

The inner circle seemed to envelop me almost overnight. Whether it was pity or something else, I didn’t know. Rhysand especially seemed determined to make me feel like I belonged. He’d offered me a job, his tone so charming it nearly had me agreeing on instinct. But I’d declined, respectfully but firmly. A job meant staying close, and I couldn’t. Not with Azriel still looming in the shadows of my mind.

Still, I accepted Rhysand’s offer for a small rental apartment on the outskirts of Velaris. It was cozy, not far from the river. Small enough to feel manageable, and with just enough space to let me breathe on my own. Moving there meant I wouldn’t have to see Azriel anymore—not by chance, not in passing, not in the ways that tied me up in knots.

I thought about telling Rhys the truth of why I needed to move, why staying wasn’t an option. But when his easy grin softened into something warm and understanding, I decided not to explain. Maybe he knew anyway. Maybe all of them knew.

***

In the weeks that followed, I adjusted to my new normal. Mor dragged me into town a handful of times, her unyielding enthusiasm pulling me along even when I resisted. Amren stopped by the apartment once, bringing a book I hadn’t asked for but found myself engrossed in that same night.

Cassian, dropped by regularly, he helped me learning how to walk properly, with an insufferable grin and stories that always left me laughing despite feeling bad. Losing my wings meant also losing my balance.

But he also to talked about Nesta. The way he spoke about the older sister made my heart warm. That man was in deep and I was all for it!

He sounded like my brother, and I started to feel at ease with him around. Just like my brother he didn't need much from me to understand how I felt and what I needed to cheer me up.

Feyre, even convinced me to sit by the river with her one afternoon, painting the rolling hills beyond while I listened to the hum of Velaris around us.

Well, she painted I watched quietly.

They’d all seemed to adopt me in their own ways, the warmth of their camaraderie spilling into the cracks I’d been hiding in. For once, it didn’t feel suffocating to let someone in.

But Azriel?

He didn’t come.

At least, not directly.

I could feel him lingering—watching from a distance even when I couldn’t see him. Sometimes it was a shadow I swore moved unnaturally as I walked through the city.

A pull in my chest while I lay in bed at night, a push whenever I was insecure about going outside. An emotion that wasn't mine popped up when I was alone.

Or the faint feeling of being watched just before I looked over my shoulder. He wasn’t there in person, but I wasn’t free of him either.

He didn’t say a word after the night he’d rejected me, though. Didn’t explain, didn’t try to mend the rift growing between us. And I didn’t ask.

Distance, I told myself, was for the best. Yet no amount of distance dulled the memory of that kiss, the ghost of his touch on my skin.

Some nights, I found myself sitting on the edge of the bed, staring into nothingness as my mind replayed the way he’d kissed me—soft at first, then desperate, like I was the air he needed to breathe.

And the way he’d pulled back. Shut me out.

“You’re hurt.”

“I can’t take advantage of you.”

The words played on an endless loop, twisting into something bitter no matter how hard I tried to let them go.

Azriel didn’t see me as more than broken, and I couldn’t stop wishing he did.

***

The knock at my door startled me, sharp against the quiet of my small apartment. I glanced at the clock, sighing. It was early—too early. My immediate thought was that Cassian had come to drag me to some ridiculous training session with Nesta and her friends.

Rubbing at my eyes, I pulled the door open, preparing a playful excuse to avoid the day. But the words died on my tongue as I saw who it was.

Azriel.

His presence filled the small hallway like a shadow curling at the edges of the room. He wasn’t armored like he usually was for his missions. Instead, he wore a simple shirt and dark pants that did nothing to downplay his quiet strength. His wings were tucked behind him, the faint light from outside framing him in a way that made me momentarily forget how to speak.

“Hi,” he said softly, his voice low and even, yet there was a slight hesitation there.

I froze, swallowing hard, trying to muster a response. Anything. But his gaze held mine, the weight of it making the words stick in my throat.

After what felt like an eternity, Azriel cleared his throat and spoke again, “It’s the Winter Solstice.” His tone was gentle, like he was testing how I might react. “I came to… invite you to join us. At the House of Wind.”

I blinked at him, and he quickly added, “Rhys is already half-expecting you.”

The mention of Rhysand made the offer feel less intimidating, like there was no way I could refuse even if every nerve in my body screamed to keep my distance.

Azriel waited, his expression unreadable except for the faintest flicker of unease in his hazel eyes. As though he didn’t know whether I’d slam the door in his face.

“I… okay,” I finally said, stumbling over the single word. “I’ll come.”

His shoulders seemed to relax just slightly, a subtle shift most people might not even notice. “Good,” he said after a beat. “We’ll have dinner, with friends."

He nodded once, almost as if reassuring himself. And without another word, he turned and left, disappearing down the stairs before I could respond or second-guess my agreement.

I closed the door, pressing my back against it, my heart racing.

Azriel. Inviting me.

Just the memory of his eyes on mine—soft and distant but unmistakably steady—left me mesmerized. Solstice at the House of Wind.

This was going to be… complicated.

***

Dinner at the House of Wind was far more tense than I could have ever imagined.

The Inner Circle was warm and welcoming, laughing and teasing over wine and a beautifully prepared feast. But beneath the surface, tension churned—its source unmistakable to anyone paying attention.

My gaze flickered to Elain, Feyre’s sister, who sat poised and ethereal, the picture of soft beauty. Her eyes, however, were daggers as they locked on another female at the table. Gwyn.

Gwyn had just thanked Azriel for her Solstice gift, her fingers brushing the delicate jewel hanging at her neck. It caught the light, shimmering beautifully, though not nearly as brightly as the gratitude in her smile.

Elain didn’t share that gratitude.

Her posture stiffened, her lips tightening just enough to make her disapproval clear. She hadn’t even tried to mask her reaction, the jealousy rolling off her in subtle, tense waves.

Azriel, meanwhile, seemed caught between them, his hazel eyes flickering nervously to Elain as though bracing for whatever venom she might spill.

And it was then, watching that exchange, that it all hit me.

He was in love. Or at least it was complicated. No matter the moments we’d shared, no matter the way my heart pounded every time I was near him, Azriel already had two stunningly beautiful women vying for his attention. Both of them more suitable, more radiant, more... everything I wasn’t.

I wasn’t a fool. I didn’t belong in this game, not with Elain looking like she belonged in a painting and Gwyn glowing with confidence and kindness. Showing up every morning training with them, showing him what she's worth.

The meal continued, but the knot in my chest only grew tighter. Every time Gwyn glanced at Azriel with a soft smile or Elain shot him a look of thinly veiled hurt, my stomach churned.

Eventually, the tension in the room became suffocating.

I set my wine glass down carefully, the noise of it meeting the table louder than I’d intended. All eyes flicked to me as I stood, smoothing the skirt of my dress. “Cassian,” I said, my tone steady despite the emotions warring inside me, “would you mind flying me back down? I think I’ve had enough for tonight.”

Cassian frowned slightly, the humor slipping from his expression, but before he could answer, Azriel stood abruptly. “I’ll do it.”

I turned to face him, a smirk playing on my lips—one laced with bitterness I couldn’t fully hide. “Sorry, Azriel,” I said, “but it seems you invited a few too many girlfriends tonight, I think your occupied.”

My words landed like a slap.

The entire table froze, and for a moment, the only sound was the crackling fire behind us.

And then Elain spoke.

Her voice was sweet, but the bite underneath it was impossible to miss. “Her too?"she asked sharply, her gaze narrowing at me. “What, you first try Mor then me, Gwyn and now her, placing a bet on more than one horse, are you?”

The weight of the room shifted as everyone turned their attention to her. "Trust me he's not interested in me." I spat out. "He made that very clear."

Azriel looked as though we'd struck him. His jaw tightened as he stared at her, shadows flickering darkly around his feet. His voice, when he finally spoke, was low and tightly controlled. “You handed me the necklace back, Elain. That was a clear sign to me ."

It took a moment for her to respond, but the hurt simmering in her eyes didn’t waver. “And you immediately ran to someone else?”

Gwyn, sitting on the other side of Azriel, looked stunned—her hand hovering over the jewel at her neck, her cheeks coloring with embarrassment.

Gwyn said, her voice soft but firm. “I didn’t even know—”

I didn’t wait for her to finish.

“Cassian?” I asked again, pulling everyone’s attention back to me as I ignored the thick, stifling tension brewing at the table. I wasn’t part of this, didn’t want to be part of it. “Please?”

Cassian shot Azriel a curious glance, his hazel eyes narrowing as though weighing some unspoken argument, but when Azriel said nothing, Cassian nodded once. “Of course.”

Without another word, I turned on my heel and strode toward the door, willing myself not to look back.

The burn of humiliation followed me as I left, but I didn’t falter. I didn’t dare let them see how much it hurt—how small I’d felt sitting at that table, surrounded by people who saw each other but somehow never truly saw me.

And yet… as Cassian led me toward the balcony, I felt the faint, familiar brush of shadows curling near my feet.

“Y/N, don’t go.”

Azriel’s voice cut through the cool night air like a blade, sharp and desperate.

I froze mid-step on the balcony, Cassian stopping beside me. I glanced at him, his brow raised as he looked between me and Azriel. He seemed torn between stepping aside and staying to protect me from whatever this was.

“Give us a moment?” Azriel asked, though his tone was more of a command than a question.

Cassian looked to me, silently asking for reassurance. I gave him a small nod, forcing down the lump rising in my throat. Without a word, Cassian stepped back inside, leaving Azriel and me alone in the moonlit quiet.

Azriel turned to me, his wings flexing slightly as though he couldn’t quite settle. He stepped closer, his eyes scanning me with an intensity that left me breathless. “How is your back?” he asked softly.

My anger flared.

“Really!? That’s what you have to say to me?” I snapped, my voice rising. “How’s your back?” I gave a bitter laugh, stepping closer and glaring up at him

"After everything. Y-you turned me down, Azriel. You acted like I didn’t matter. And yet you’ve been spying on me, haven’t you? You damn well know how my back is! It's horrible, I can't proper walk, I miss flying, there are days I try to walk around my tiny apartment afraid I bump then into my furniture."

"Other days I wish you just left me there."

"You would have died!" He snapped at me.

"Good! Then I wouldn't have been such an inconvenience to you!"

Frustration bubbled over, and I shoved his chest. It was like hitting a brick wall, my push barely moving him as I stumbled back from the force of my own anger.

"Well, it's you who made a fool out of me in there." His expression didn’t waver, though his jaw tightened. “I don’t know what you think there is between us,” he said quietly, shadows shifting at his feet, “but it’s just you… falling for the guy who saved you.”

“No!” I shouted, my hands trembling as I clenched them into fists. “I know what there is, Azriel! You’re just too damn afraid to admit it!”

He didn’t move, his hazel eyes locked on mine, his expression inscrutable. But he was listening—I could see it in the way his shadows stilled, the way his wings tightened against his back.

I stepped closer, my chest heaving with each breath. “I feel you when you’re near,” I said, my voice shaking but firm. “Even when I can’t see you, I feel the pull. And I know you feel mine, too. I see it in the way you watch me. I feel it in every step you take toward me only to stop yourself before you cross some line you made up.”

Azriel’s gaze flickered to my lips for the barest moment before he caught himself. "That's not..."

“You’re just too scared to admit it,” I continued, my voice softer but no less raw. We were toe to toe now, the air between us crackling like lightning. “And you know what, that’s fine, Azriel. You don’t have to accept it. But don’t you dare deny it. We’re ma…”

The words caught in my throat, but before I could finish the sentence, two strong hands wrapped around my cheeks.

Azriel pulled me against him with a force that knocked the breath from my lungs, and his lips crashed down on mine.

It wasn’t soft, wasn’t tentative—it was full of unspoken words, of frustration and longing. His hands anchored me to him, one sliding up to tangle in my hair as if I might vanish if he didn’t hold on tightly enough.

I melted into him, every thought, every doubt evaporating under the weight of his kiss. The world around us blurred until there was nothing but him—his touch, his lips, but the raw intensity of the moment was quickly over shadowed by my pride and anger.

The anger churned hot in my veins as I tilted my head back and slammed it forward, cracking my forehead against Azriel’s nose. The resounding *crack* echoed in the air, and Azriel stumbled back, a startled shout escaping him.

“Fuck!" he hissed, his hand flying to his face. He pressed against his nose, wincing as he pushed it back into place, his glare sharp enough to cut. “Why the hell did you do that?”

I ignored him completely. My eyes locked onto Cassian, who stood near the doorway, accompanied by the rest of the guests, his brows lifted in stunned amusement. “Listen, Cassian,” I ground out, “if you don’t take me down right now—”

“No!” Azriel roared behind me, his shadows swirling angrily at his feet. “You stay right here, we're not done!”

I didn’t even flinch at his command. I kept my focus on Cassian, who looked at me with something close to apology and pity. “Sorry, Y/N,” he said, hands raised in surrender. “He’s still my brother. Can’t interfere.”

My lips twitched in irritation as I snapped, “Fine! I’ll take the fucking stairs."

I stormed toward the staircase, but before I could so much as take two steps, strong hands grabbed me by the waist.

“What the hell, Azriel?” I shrieked as he lifted me clear off the ground and tossed me gently back onto the balcony.

“You’re not walking down those stairs in this state, you can't even walk them when you're calm and you know it!” he muttered, his voice clipped. “I’ll take you home—once you cool down.”

"C-cool down?!" I repeated, my voice going shrill as I whirled to face him.

Behind Azriel, Rhysand let out a low whistle, his violet eyes sparkling with amusement. “Oh-oh…” he murmured, clearly entertained. “Azriel, I think you forget who you’re dealing with here. She’s still Illyrian, you know.” Feyre bumped her elbow in his side, mouthing "not helping!"

Cassian laughed, crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorframe. “Yeah, Az, even I know better than to tell a female to ‘cool off.’”

Azriel’s lips twitched, as though suppressing the urge to snap back at them, but his gaze stayed focused on me. He shifted slightly, trying to block my path, but I wasn’t having it.

“Move,” I ordered, pushing past him toward the stairs again. But before I could make it even a single step this time, he was faster.

Azriel’s arms scooped me up in one swift motion, his wings flaring wide as he stepped off the balcony and into the open sky.

I didn’t have time to protest before we were airborne, my apartment coming into view below us. My anger surged, words tumbling from my mouth without thought. “Put me down, Azriel! What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Making sure you get home in one piece,” he said calmly, though I could feel the tension radiating off him in waves.

“By manhandling me?” I snapped, my fists pounding against his chest in frustration. “You don’t get to decide how I leave, or when, or who takes me home—”

“Yes, I do,” he interrupted firmly, his voice low but unwavering. “When you’re so mad you can barely think straight, and when the stairs would leave you pacing for hours, yes, I do.”

"I can barely think straight!? You kissed me while all your girlfriends are in the other room." But as much as I hated to admit it, some small, quiet part of me knew he wasn’t entirely wrong. I still wasn't fully recovered.

Still, I glared up at him. “You’re infuriating.”

Azriel didn’t respond, his mouth twitching as though holding back a smile. The tension between us hung heavy in the air as he descended, landing softly in front of my apartment. Without a word, he set me down on my feet, steadying me with a hand on my arm.

But he didn’t pull back immediately. Instead, he held me there, his gaze lingering on my face, searching for… something.

My breath hitched at the weight of those words. I should have said it. Should have walked into my apartment and slammed the door in his face.

But I couldn’t. He walked me back inside and we stood in front of my door. Waiting for one of us to say something... anything.

--

Taglist:

@mich0731 @winchesterwild78 @paintedbyshadows @lilah-asteria @nancymcl @hobby27 @kindollss @shadysoulangel @tele86

[fickleminder]

be our guest

DWBD AU. When Diavolo comes over to the House of Lamentation for dinner, the demon brothers realize it would be a perfect opportunity for you to expose their horrible treatment of you.

DWBD AU masterlist here.

"Don't you dare," Lucifer pointed directly at you, causing your foot to hover just above the threshold, "take one step further."

You didn't know how he caught you trying to enter the kitchen while his attention was focused on Beel. Maybe he really did have eyes in the back of his head. "I don't mind helping—"

"We got this, so scram!" Mammon yelled from behind the stove. Black smoke was already wafting out from his pot.

You knew Lord Diavolo coming over for dinner would be a big deal, but you didn't think it'd be this big. The prince wanting to eat human world food wasn't too surprising; trying different cuisines was part of cultural exchange after all, and it made sense to host the meal on your home turf, so to speak.

The Avatars didn't take the news well, however. You thought they'd be thrilled to have the opportunity to enjoy your cooking again, but instead of leaving all the work to you as you'd expected, they demanded detailed step-by-step instructions for whatever dishes you were planning to make and told you to stay out of the kitchen. At most, you would be allowed to take on a supervisory role, but with Lucifer refusing to even let you in past the doorway, there was only so much you could do.

"Psst, hey!" You glanced towards the nearby window to see No. 2 waving at you cheerfully. "Can you open the front door? I have reinforcements!"

To your surprise, reinforcements came in the form of seven little D's and the Lord of Time himself.

"Good afternoon. How are the preparations for tonight's meal coming along?" At Barbatos' signal, the little D's scurried into the house carrying baskets of fresh groceries.

"I've been banned from the kitchen, for some reason," you admitted, wincing when you heard Asmo's shrill scream and a loud crash. "…I don't think they're doing too well though."

"That won't do. My Lord sent me ahead specifically to ensure dinner goes smoothly." Barbatos rubbed his chin and hummed. "If the little D's and I were to assist you, would the preparations be completed in time?"

"Sure thing! It won't be the first time I've had to cook for such a large group, but I'll take all the help I can get!"

"Wonderful, I'll be with you in just a moment. Please excuse me."

A blink, and Barbatos was gone.

.

.

.

Things were spiraling out of control.

Mammon and Levi kept fighting over the utensils and recipes. At some point, the steps you had painstakingly written down got drenched and became illegible, forcing them to improvise.

Beel insisted on taste testing everything, taking bite after bite until plates and bowls were scraped clean. Belphie was there to keep his twin in check, but mostly ended up dozing under the counter.

Asmo refused to risk chipping his nails doing menial work and was backseat cooking behind Satan, who started burning more food out of sheer irritation. Several pots and pans had already become dented beyond repair.

Lucifer made a valiant attempt to manage his brothers, but to no avail. Even if he wasn't constantly undermining you when you tried to give instructions from the doorway, he kept trying to take over the individual tasks, insisting he could do them better. This dinner was going to make or break the exchange program and everything had to be absolutely perfect or—

"Gentlemen," was the only warning before a blur shot through the kitchen, knocking everyone off their feet and forcibly throwing them all out. Barbatos stood over the resultant pile of limbs and dusted his gloved hands with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "We'll take over from here."

Lucifer tried to rise to his feet. "But—"

"Do set the table in the meantime. I trust even that should be within your capabilities?"

The butler's tone practically threatened a surprise house inspection if they didn't comply. Effectively cowed at that point, the brothers obeyed.

.

.

.

Lord Diavolo's laughter echoed all the way into the kitchen, and you grinned to yourself as his generous compliments reached your ears.

"Are you sure you don't want to join them? We can handle the rest in here," No. 2 asked.

"Nah, I'm good. I'll probably feel super out of place there anyway." You added another heap of ingredients into the boiling pot. "Did you remember to remove my plate from the table?"

"I did!" No. 5 piped up. "Did I do a good job?"

"Aww, yes you did!"

"Yayyy~!"

"Do not forget that you are our guest too, in this realm." Barbatos spoke up softly, and all the chatter from the little D's immediately fell silent. "From the way you're avoiding dining with the Avatars, it's clear we've been remiss in our hospitality."

Of course Barbatos would see through your act. After all, his own placid smile hid secrets you couldn't even begin to imagine. "Really, it's fine! I'm used to it by now. Besides, someone's gotta keep the food coming, and you guys are technically the guests here so…"

The corners of the butler's lips twitched upwards. "Touché. In that case, I will personally see to it that you are rewarded for your hard work tonight. Why don't you begin by telling me your favorite pastries?"

.

.

.

Despite your exhaustion, you stood at attention when Lord Diavolo shook your hand at the end of the meal, thanking you for serving up such a scrumptious dinner. Your smile was genuine as you waved him goodbye at the front door, and you only allowed it to drop once all the castle's residents have left through a portal.

Behind you, the brothers were sweating bullets as they watched you lower your hand and just stand there, staring into the distance while their minds raced.

Did you say anything to Barbatos while you had him alone? It would have been a golden opportunity for you to air your many grievances to him; half the things the brothers had done to you would have easily seen them thrown into the royal dungeons for being such poor hosts.

You had never dared to approach Lord Diavolo yourself in spite of his friendly demeanor, partially due to Lucifer's many reminders about knowing your place. But he never expected the prince to come to you instead, and so he had rallied his brothers to ensure you wouldn't have to lift a finger tonight, a last ditch effort to persuade you to hold your tongue. So much for that plan.

"We're sorry…" Beel said quietly once all of you had gone back inside. All the satisfaction from eating your cooking had faded away after seeing you emerge from the kitchen completely wiped out. He didn't need his Sin to tell you hadn't eaten anything all night.

"No you're not." The words came out before you could stop yourself. You were more tired than you thought, and your brain-to-mouth filter just wasn't working anymore. "If you were, you'd do better. All of you. But I guess that was too much to ask for."

The atmosphere around the brothers was heavy with shame and guilt. They really screwed up, didn't they? Asmo attempted to steer you towards your room. "Why don't you go and rest while we clean up—"

"The dishes are already done. The little D's took care of that—"

"How about some cup noodles then?" Mammon suggested loudly. "C'mon, ya must be hungry—"

"I'm not feeling like instant food at the moment—"

The doorbell rang all of a sudden, freezing everybody in place. No one dared to move for fear of finding Diavolo on the other side, as unlikely as that was. But there was only one way to find out who was calling on them at this hour.

"Yo," Vorgo greeted you with a lazy salute when you opened the door. "Hope this isn't a bad time. Is the coast clear?"

"You're good. Lord Diavolo already left." Just the sight of your friend was enough to lift your spirits, and you found yourself smiling at them easily. "What's up?"

"Special delivery." The lesser demon held up several containers of food. "Figured you'd be run ragged tonight, so I thought you could use a pick-me-up. I made that casserole you like, plus a few other things—"

"I love you," you blurted out before slapping a hand over your mouth.

Vorgo looked a little taken aback but recovered quickly with a laugh and flushed cheeks. "You're most welcome! Get some rest and I'll see you in class, okay?"

The smell of warm, homemade food was making your empty stomach roar loud enough to rival Beel, but you were past caring at this point. You bid Vorgo farewell and prepared to retreat to your room for some well-earned downtime.

"…Why didn't you say anything to Diavolo, or Barbatos for that matter?" Satan asked just as you were about to ascend the stairs. They hadn't mentioned a word about your treatment before they departed, seemingly none the wiser about how much you had suffered under the brothers' care. "You would have gotten everything you deserved, and yet…"

"I didn't think they'd care, to be honest," you shrugged. They were royalty after all, while you were just some human, and the brothers' behavior could easily be written off as demons being demons. "Even if they did, they probably wouldn't believe me."

Nobody told you Diavolo was a walking lie detector. Even if you had decided to spare them, he would have found out eventually, and then you would come to realize just how much he truly valued your well-being in his kingdom.

Lucifer sighed once you had left. "Belphie, make sure—"

"Deep sleep, no dreams. I got it."

"Levi—"

"I've got manga to catch up on so you won't hear a peep from my room."

Beel offered to make you breakfast the next morning, and Asmo whipped out his D.D.D. to book you an appointment for a manicure. Goodness knows you could use one after putting your hands through the wringer tonight.

Mammon was preparing a list of groceries to stock up in the kitchen while Satan volunteered to cover your lesson notes and homework for the next few days.

"Of course, that goes without question." Lucifer nodded when Satan gave him a pointed look. He would personally ensure that you had the rest of the week off from RAD. After your performance tonight, he doubted Diavolo would object to the idea.

[hiemaldesirae]

there was an ask i got a while back that brought up the idea of vox pulling away from alastor (while they were still friends) because he figured alastor was only using him for entertainment and al in turn becomes the biggest wifeguy alive to keep vox by his side and. well. my fingers got itchy

Vox stares forlornly at the photograph held gingerly between his claws. It had been taken some time (comparatively) early on in his friendship with Alastor- the date of August 16th, 1967 was scrawled in Vox's own unsteady, drunken penmanship. He'd been plastered to the roof when they'd taken the photo, which, now that he thinks of it, was probably the only reason Alastor had ever agreed to it in the first place.

He mulled over that conversation once more, as if he hadn't been at this for a month. The stack of papers that Husk had passed him with a worried look and a huff laid neatly stacked next to the transcripts of the confirmation calls he'd had with Mimzy after Husk had told him.

He only sees you as entertainment, Husk had said. It's how he functions. I don't know if he's had a genuine relationship with anyone other than Mimzy and Rosie, and even then the chances are slim.

And Vox had wanted to believe that he was wrong. God, he'd hoped so badly that Husk was wrong. But- the Overlord had never once led him wrong before, had he? And he had no reason to lie to Vox about this.

His hands shook as he took the picture and tenderly placed it back into the drawer where he'd taken it from.

Even if the first friendship- the first ever taste of love he'd gotten, in life or death- he'd managed to strike up in Hell had been one built on lies and for Alastor's- entertainment, he still didn't want that proof of the simpler, happier times to disappear.

So it was with a heavy heart that Vox prepared to bid farewell to his first and dearest friend.

One thing that Husk had made sure to make absolutely crystal clear to him was that Vox should not, under any circumstances, be the one to let Alastor down gently.

At least, not directly- Vox had disagreed with this line of thinking, believing that Alastor deserved to know the truth, but then Husk had shown him what Alastor had done to the couple past demons who had dared to do the same and Vox found his protests drying up on his tongue as quickly as they'd come to him.

"Well, what do I do then?" Vox had cried, practically faceplanting all 15 pounds of his CRT television head into Husk's bar counter. To his credit, the Overlord hardly even batted an eyelid before sending one of his thralls to clean up his despondent kid's mess. "I don't wanna just fake my death or something!"

"I wasn't gonna say for you to do that, but actually, that might be a good idea if the Radio Freak doesn't take the initial plan well," Husk mused, before he caught sight of Vox's- frankly heartbroken looking- face and sighed. "No, the idea is to get him to think it's his idea. Start by gradually distancing yourself so you're no longer attached by the hip- Lord knows you needed a healthy sense of distance from him, anyway- and then move to blowing off his plans and stuff. For valid reasons, like say Rosie scheduled you in first or something and you couldn't leave without invoking her wrath. Make yourself some new damn friends, for God's sakes. It'll make it harder for him to wage revenge on you if you've got allies backing you up."

Husk could see his kid's face gradually growing paler with every word, and he internally sighed. Fucking Alastor, and his need to ruin every good thing that passed him by. "And if it gets to that point, which it shouldn't, I'll protect you first. An alliance with Ol' Bambi is not worth more than your wellbeing, котенок."

"I know," Vox said quietly. He tapped his hands on the counter for a second before standing up, a sad look on his face. "I just... I might need a little to come to terms with things."

"Of course," Husk nodded understandingly. "You take all the time ya need, got it?"

"Yes, dad," Vox rolled his eyes, though the sad expression on his screen had brightened considerably and he now managed to give Husk a weak smile. "Really. I'll call or something if I need you."

That was weeks ago. Vox had started to put 'Plan Pull Vox Out of a Toxic Friendship' into full play a little while ago, occasionally turning down Alastor's invitations to soirees, operas, theatres and the like and instead focusing on his work. Before, he would have dropped everything just to accompany Alastor, which was something Vox was suspecting the other demon had already known and potentially specifically chosen him for because it made him more entertaining.

In any case, things had been going smoothly. Vox had even managed to start a few new projects, the most impressive of which was a part mechanical part organic demon shark. He'd found the poor thing missing half its limbs, and gone on a horribly roundabout mission to make it new ones. So far things had been going smoothly and the shark had taken to leisurely taking swims around Vox's small aquarium, one that spanned one entire wall of his even tinier apartment.

What he hadn't expected was for Alastor to show up one day completely uninvited and make him dinner.

He'd been in the midst of arranging meetings with other up and coming sinners of Pentagram City, looking through his contacts to see who else would have the most potential to become an Overlord. One had been Valentino, who was the man he was trying to speak with when a crash came from his kitchen. He'd asked Valentino if he could bear to be put on indefinite hold incase he was killed, deafened before he could hear a response, then proceeded to the kitchen, hammer in hand, only to find-

"Ah, there you are, my dear picture box! I was afraid I'd never see you again, what with that awful habit of yours with locking yourself into the workshop for hours." Alastor stood in his kitchen, humming quietly as he stirred a pot full of gumbo leisurely. "Go sit down and wait, would you?"

"I- you-" Vox looked in between Alastor, who was wearing an apron that said Kill the Cook atop his regular fitted suit, painting an elegant yet absolutely ridiculous portrait and back to the table, where several other creole dishes sat on the table in front of Vox. "You're in my house."

"You didn't answer me when I tapped on the radio waves," Alastor shrugged lesiurely. "You've gotten busy these past weeks, haven't you?"

"Well... sort of," Vox said, expertly skirting around the question. "Anyway, that doesn't explain much. You don't like coming to my apartment. And you only cook for Rosie and Mimzy because you only respect them."

"I don't like coming here, correct."

"So.... why are you here, exactly?" Vox crosses his arms, leaning on the counter. "You don't usually come for visits."

"I care about you," Alastor said softly. It almost sounded sincere. No wonder he was a radio host- truly, hearing those words had nearly stopped Vox's resolve to leave entirely. "Isn't that enough?"

"I wish," Vox said in reply, a hand pressed to his chest to stop his rapid breathing. "God, I wish."

But God didn't exist for Sinners.

So when Alastor finishes cooking the food and sits down to eat with him, asking him about the work and projects he's been doing, Vox just grits his teeth in a smile and forces himself to act as if his world isn't breaking apart piece by piece.

[inkdemonapologist]

Do you prefer Bendy and the Ink Machine or Bendy and the Dark Revival

Gosh…. Tough to answer! I didn’t play either game, nor have I even watched them played all the way through (I just got obsessed and learned as much as I could indirectly). So my relationship to these games is kind of difficult to pin down. If gameplay is better in one than the other, I wouldn’t know. And I’ve talked about this before, but I think neither of them really have a well-told story – the shortcomings are just more obvious in Dark Revival.

TL;DR: the answer is Bendy and the Ink Machine. But I had to really think it over; at first I wasn't sure. After all, I’ve drawn a lot more game-canon art for Dark Revival than Ink Machine! And so much of the appeal of Ink Machine is the Promise of it, which sort of feels unfair to factor in – like, Bendy had a very compelling premise, but Dark Revival didn’t have the luxury of JUST being a cool premise – it had to try to deliver on BatIM’s promises, something BatIM itself didn’t really manage either.

Dark Revival in some ways embraced its human characters more than BatIM ever did (and had very nicely designed human models), which admittedly appeals to me a lot as someone who’s most invested in the humans and the history of this place. But... it’s also a game where that history no longer matters. BatIM’s story leaned heavily on the intrigue of discovering What Happened, while in Dark Revival, what happened in the studio back in the 30s and 40s feels strangely irrelevant? In BatIM I feel like that was the big appeal --

Like, yeah, Sammy’s a weird inky cultist, but the main reason he’s interesting is because we know he didn’t used to be like that. He was annoyed with the cartoon but working here Did Something To Him and now he’s become This. Susie is similar – Twisted Alice would be sort of a shallowly tropey evil lady and not much else were it not for the history of her, the way we strongly suspect that Susie became her out of desperation. And crucially, you’re never directly told these things; you discover the pieces and put them together. I think that was the part of BatIM that really captured me, and is also why I really liked DCTL and especially Illusion of Living when I read them – I think they fit in with that core of BatIM: unreliable documents from one point of view with pieces and discoveries to be held up and compared to other parts of the franchise.

And that is in fact the part that I feel Dark Revival deviated from: the story told and implied in the negative space between audiologs. One of the first notes you find in Dark Revival is from Sammy, and seems to pick up where BatIM left off – Sammy’s insistence that he’s loyal to the company, his casual mention that he speaks for both himself and Jack, are the same sort of Clues we got in Ink Machine, one side of the story that lets us compare with other things Sammy and Jack and Joey have said to figure out which bits are true, and what these relationships we can’t see must’ve been like. But after that, the audiologs and notes shift. It’s a subtle difference, because technically they still have characters talking about what happened in the past, but Dark Revival’s feel less like a story told in negative space and more like an explanation. The audio logs and notes are there to make THIS GAME, the story we’re in now, make sense.

Like, for comparison, the most interesting things that happened in Ink Machine’s past are things we put together: Posters of a cartoon character. An audiolog of Susie getting attached to voicing that character. An audiolog of a distraught Susie losing the part. A toymaker admitting the merch isn’t selling. A living cartoon who appears to be the character, but deeply messed up and desperate to be Perfect. An audiolog of Joey offering Susie a new opportunity to “become Alice.” The things we see happening in Ink Machine are just a piece of the story, the consequences that let us put together what happened in between.

What’s interesting in Dark Revival’s past? Joey had a daughter, created via magic and ink – which is revealed to us not from multiple perspectives, but from Joey playing a literal slideshow to directly explain it. A little Bendy was created, but nobody seems terribly interested in weighing in on that, there’s just an explanation about what was done to change the Ink Demon into Bendy. See the difference? It’s no wonder there’s so many theories about Joey’s Story Being Untrustworthy, because in Ink Machine, one side of the story would be seen as just one piece. We wait for the other side of the story and are confused when it never comes... but this wasn’t meant to be a piece of a story for us to discover – it was meant to be an explanation.

So, yeah, overall, I think Dark Revival introduced some concepts that were very strong and resonated with me (I love Memory Joey, and I love Joey's messy decision to raise a child) but ultimately my preference lies with Ink Machine. Putting together the pieces to search for the truth in the negative space between them was what really captivated me for so long, and I find I really miss it in the sequel.

[adventuringblind]

Still Have You

Lando Norris x Reader X Oscar Piastri

Genre: Angst

Summary: and then there were two...

Warnings: crash, injury description, death

Notes: oops... I wrote another sad thing...

Masterlist

Racing is her life. It's all she knows. It was her entire life.

Until it wasn't.

She was a rookie. A female driver that Williams decided to take a chance on.

Oscar signed for McLaren the same year. She already knew he was going to get a seat because he's amazing. And getting to drive alongside Lando Norris was nothing to scoff about.

Oscar introduced his teammate to his best friend, and the three became attached to the hip. Inseparable. It definitely wasn't anything they were expecting. It just happened, but they wouldn't have it any other way.

So then it was them and racing. Like her life had somehow gained a new purpose.

~

The Dutch Grandprix. It's raining heavily, and she'd rather be curled up with her lovers, hot chocolate, and a good book.

"Are they really going to have the race?" She asks Alex who's standing next to her I the cover of their garage.

"Looks like it." He sighs. "Any word from your papaya clad lovers?"

Check jabs him in the side with an elbow. "Shup up! Someone could hear you!" She hisses at him.

"Not my fault Lando can't keep a secret." He throws his hands up in surrender.

They are then promptly told to get ready to head to the grip. She throws a final text to her boys before she has to leave her phone for the next couple of hours.

Alex is starting fourth. It's an amazing thing for him, and she can't help but feel a tinge of pride.

It feels like she's in the car for hours. Just waiting for them to say go or call off the race. She hopes it's the latter. She'd hate to see any of her of the grid get hurt because the FIA decided to put the show on regardless of their safety.

The rain slows, and it seems like it might actually clear up. So it would make sense that the FIA decided it's time to race.

Soon enough, they are racing off the line. Her start was better than she'd expected. Managing to hold her place as the down pour started again.

"We're expecting the rain to stay like this for the next ten minutes."

She mentally groans. Begs whoever controls the weather to let up. Prays that nobody gets hurt.

But fate it cruel.

It's only lap five, but the rain is making it difficult to see. She knows someone is close to her. No idea who, but he's there.

She definitely knows when they spin out. And she feels it when they tap her car as she's flying down the straight.

It's like the world moves in slow motion. One minute, she's driving. Then she's not even on the ground anymore.

Ground.

Sky.

Wet.

Dry.

Shooting pain.

Copper taste.

Radio static.

Cold.

Bright.

Nothing.

~

"Red flag Lando, red flag, come into the pits, please."

"Did someone crash? "

"One of the Williams."

Lando's heart drops. Every thought in his mind going to the worst. "Which Williams?"

"We believe it's y/n."

Suddenly, he can't hear anymore. He passes the crash sight, and he feels like the air is sucked out of his lungs.

He's not thinking. He just pulls the car over and gets out. Not caring at all who's watching.

The front of the car is bent upwards over the cockpit. The back is nowhere to he seen. There are pieces of fence and barrier stuck to the ring of the halo.

The Marshalls are barely getting started. They've started splitting the car into peices with saws.

Lando skids to a halt. His arms pull away the debris so he can at least see her.

They he sees just how bad it is.

There is a piece of metal piercing directly through her chest. Her legs are crushed at odd angles.

He helps the Marshalls pull her out. His stomach flips with every second she doesn't respond. He stays with her until they pull him away.

He fights them. Or - he tries to fight them. But the adrenaline isn't pumping as it was. It's just his anxiety now.

~

Oscar stares at the screen in front of him. He knows he doesn't look as calm as he's trying to seem.

Alex looks similar in a way. The tall Williams driver stands next to him in the blue garage. Waiting for any sign that the girl in the car is breathing.

He's choking on his tears. He's fighting the urge to run onto the track.

There are other drivers in front of the Williams garage. All of them are asking for updates. The one thing nobody has right now.

When they lift her body out of the car, he screams. It rips through his body and pieces everyone's ears.

He tries to bolt, but Alex holds him back. It's not long til he's sobbing into his arms.

He's been nothing but the Trios' biggest supporter since he found out. In this specific moment, Oscar has never felt more grateful for him.

He watches the screen closely. Lando is pressing on the females chest. His neon yellow gloves now staied red from the open wound.

He tries to bolt again. Flee to Lando so they don't have to be separated. He knows the Brits anxiety is probably skyrocketing.

If his is, then Lando's definitely is.

Alex wasn't prepared, and he managed to make it about ten steps before being stopped by Max. The Aussie runs straight into him and collapses once again.

This time, he fights. He flails his limbs and tries to shove his way past until his body gives out.

~

Lando feels a tap on his shoulder. He hadn't realized he'd just been standing where they'd left him until the new presence snapped him out of it.

"Lando, we should go back to the paddock." It's Charles speaking to him. He sounds so distant, like he's calling to him from a meter away.

He just let the Monegasque lead him back down the track. He stares at his glives as they walk. Coated in her blood.

This should've never happened. The race should have been called off. Every time the scene replays in his mind, it makes him angrier at them.

They find themselves at the Williams garage with the rest of the drivers. He takes note of the sobbing Austrian currently trying to break free of Max's grip. Oscar is usually the most collected out of the three. It breaks something in Lando, seeing him like this. Like Oscar crying just makes it more real.

Lando pulls off the blood-soaked gloves and sinks to where Oscar is. The Brit gets his focus and attempts to calm him down. Most likely, neither of them are going to be able to drive in such a state. Lando still has his car on track where he left it.

He really doesn't care who's watching in this moment. He prys Oscar away from Max and cradles him. The two falling into a puddle of tears on the ground.

~

Oscar lays with his head leaning against Lando. Their hands entertained like one would disappear if they let go.

It feels wrong without her.

Max and Alex had come to wait with them. Neither of them deemed it safe to leave the two alone.

"Miss l/n?" Says a doctor. He sounds as exhausted as they feel.

All four scramble up out of their seats. All hope seeming to float away as they see his expression.

"I'm so sorry to tell you that she didn't make it."

And then everything shattered. Their world fell apart. Everything tainted with the lack of her presence.

"She woke herself up right before she flat lined and asked to make sure someone heard it." The doctor inhales deeply. Like, somehow, this message was difficult for him. "She said: 'tell them to cling to each other. That she's not gone. You'll find her on the track."

~

A year later, at the same track, two boys visit a memorial. Flowers in hand as they kneel in the grass.

The sun is shining today. A stark contrast to the weather which had claimed her life.

They sit together, hands interlocked, and engagement rings fit snugly on their ring fingers.

"We miss you. Every day. We think about you all the time." Lando sniffles. The lump in his throat threatened to leave. "Alex makes sure we take care of ourselves, and Max let us stay with him. He won another title, by the way, and dedicated it to you."

"I got my first win. It was in Australia, just like how you predicted." Oscar's gaze is toward the sky. He knows she's up there somewhere smiling down upon them.

"I asked Oscar to marry me, and he said yes. We thought we might have the ceremony at that one park you love in the spring when the cherry blossoms are in season."

"Thought you also might want to know that we have an extra ring for you. We owe it to you for getting us together, after all."

Both of them are choking on their tears now. It's not the same without you.

"We'll always love you. Even if we're only two."

[lastoneout]

OH MY FUCKING GOD??

We actually managed to get ahold of the doctor I saw last before I left yesterday(who I believe was my doctor for the whole stay) and he said that the nurse was either misinformed or straight up lying to me about what dose I was being given AND they denied me medication he prescribed!!

Apparently, they usually start patients with 5mg of oxycodone once they're in their rooms after surgery and IF THAT ISNT ENOUGH they are instructed to give me another dose to bring me up to 10mg and if it wears off I should have been given more even if it was within six hours, so yeah the nurses not only TOLD ME I was being given 10mg when I fucking WASN'T, they were ALSO SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME MORE MEDS THE SECOND I SAID WHAT THEY'D ALREADY GIVEN ME WASN'T HELPING OR IF THEY WORE OFF EARLY AND THE WHOLE "YOU ONLY CAN TAKE IT EVERY 6 HOURS EVEN IF IT WEARS OFF AND YOU'RE SOBBING AND AT A 10" THING WAS HORSESHIT.

The pharmacy ALSO did not fill all of the scripts they were given?? The doctor told us that on top of the pain meds he prescribed miralax to help with the ungodly, agonizing bloating I'm dealing with AND A MUSCLE RELAXER TO HELP WITH THE PAIN neither of which were given to me OR EVEN PUT ON MY DISCHARGE PAPERWORK.

The Doctor not only apologized profusely, he said he's going to talk to the nurses I had and let them know what they were doing was directly contrary to his instructions and that isn't fucking okay, and up the dose of the painkiller with a new script since the current one just isn't helping enough and the only thing I have to do is bring in and swap whatever I have left of the old ones, AND make sure the muscle relaxer and miralax get filled!!

He also let us know the setting my shunt is at, the headache I have is normal but if it gets really bad or lasts more than a few days (or if I just feel like something isn't right) that I should call back or just go to the ER, that I should be drinking 64oz of water a day as well as whatever electrolyte drinks I want, AND I can have coffee which should help, and sprite or ginger ale or anything I think will help with the nausea.

I take the shit I said about the doctor back HE knew what the fuck he was doing, the nursing staff and pharmacy just fucked the hell up for whatever reason. Which like...ngl given that two of the nurses were standing in the hallway, ignoring my repeated requests for help and the fact that I was literally sobbing in agony at even the lightest touch in favor of shit talking me!! I feel like maybe we had a case of at least some of the nurses being assholes for no reason. I will probably never know why but I do have a buzz cut, am giving off undeniably queer ass vibes, and had gay pride buttons on my bag, I live in Arizona, and I'm almost certain my gender in the system is set as nonbinary so....I can say for sure but it does makes me wonder.

(Honestly tho it's probably just them being understaffed and stressed and the whole "med school essentially teaches you that all patients are so stupid you can't trust anything they say AND drug addicts waiting to happen" thing and/or the fact that the worst people in the world will always seek out positions of power and being a nurse is a great way for terrible people to gain concerning amounts of power over vulnerable people.)

I'm still never going to this fucking hospital again unless I have literally no other choice tho. They have a long history of treating me and my family like complete and utter shit—like the horror stories I could tell I s2g they nearly killed my mom due to neglecting her severely infected leg for TWELVE HOURS—that place is run by people who literally only care about profit and staffed with the worst, most cruel and careless nurses I've ever met(and that sucks because they are partnered with the local university so basically ALL nursing students in my city train there) and the few that do give a shit are so stressed and miserable they can barely provide care at all.

Christ alive. What a fucking hellhole. Glad I was right about these last two days being a nightmare of bullshit and I never, ever should have been treated that way. Small comfort, but it's still a comfort.

Anyway I'm gonna go take my new, correctly dosed meds, eat something, and take a nap o7 sorry for all the venting, hopefully this is the last of it.

[heartfullofleeches]

Cinnamon Cream

Yan Couple [F+M] + G.N Reader

A.N: The winning pair from a poll I ran to satisfy my craving for edible partners. The duo are heavily implied to made out of the foods they represent as a heads up

-

"Care for another roll, Hun? Can't send you home on an empty stomach."

This woman was trying to kill you. The tinge of cinnamon fresh on your tongue, you couldn't fathom the consequence of taking on another pastry when you've only sampled the first. Your stomach being empty was the last of your concerns with how big it was. Your free hand lie flat on the table and even it was off by a few inches. She claimed to have made this batch smaller so you could finish the full dozen before you left which you found quite impossible. Prying the fork from your teeth, you let the woman down as best you could - praying to be let off with the rest to take home.

"No thank you, Mrs. Cinnabar - I haven't finished the first."

Her jovial demeanor is not lost as she takes the utensil off your hands. "You can drop the formalities, Love. We're all friends here. You'll have to forgive me for everything else. Izzy worked so hard on his part and I would hate for it to melt before you become addicted to us both."

The smell hits you before you take the bite she offers. No matter the date in time, she always smelled like a bakery. Mrs. Cinnabar has been your neighbor for about a year now following the disappearance of the last tenant not even a week before she and her partner moved in. A friendly face to all, she had taken a special liking to you when your paths finally crossed. Being next door neighbors was one reason, but she also told you she took an immediate interest to you similar to the instant attraction she felt towards her husband. He wasn't in the picture often, and so your company patched up the hole his absence left. With the combination of her loneliness and the rewards of free meals - who were you to say no when she asked for you to visit? Today's dessert was meant to be special and now you knew why.

Cheeks stuffed with pastry, the sweet bread takes up a new texture as you manage to scarf it all down. Rich, velvety cream with just a hint of vanilla; the cold, ceremonious blend to an otherwise warm and sticky treat. As the taste settles on your tongue, you could piece together traces of the ice cream mixed directly into the icing of the cinnamon roll - the delicate flavor you had trouble putting your finger on before. It certainly lived up to the hype set for it by the woman at your side. The scent of cinnamon is almost overpowering as Cinnabar sweeps her thumb up the corner of your sugar crusted lips; smile as sweet as the roll on your plate.

"Well, don't keep me waiting. You like it - don't you, Hun?"

"I-it's great... Wish I could give my compliments to your spouse."

Cinnabar peaks up in her seat; a chill running down your spine at the extend of her grin. For a brief moment she looks behind you. "Who said you couldn't?"

Leaning back in your seat, you come to find that the source of your chattering teeth is not her smile, but the hands of the man gripping the back of your chair. His glare is as icy as the frost radiating off him, your breath visible as you exhale in surprise. Stoic as a brick wall, his eyes show signs of satisfaction drifting over the missing forkful of the now frozen dessert. Ever so slow, he cleans the remaining crumbs off your face before joining his wife's side of the table. Perching an arm over her shoulder, he slides a metal ring into her breast pocket as she takes his hand.

"Y/n, Izzy. Izzy..." Cinnabar rests her head on his wrist. "knows all about you already. Nosy thing has listened in on all of our conversations before now and I'd say he adores your company as much I as I."

"but... I thought you said he was gone most of the day?"

"Oh, he is, Hun. Up in his study. Not too good at speaking with other humans. Specially cuties like yourself, isn't that right, Dear."

Izzy nods his head with a grunt - pale face just shy of a flush under the kitchen lighting.

"We both care about you so much, Hun. Watching you has opened so many doors for us so it's only fair we open ours to you. We've thought hard about how to introduce you to life with us, but the best start was showing you have well we work together. How good all of us could be for each other. I'll keep you warm in the winter, Izzy can cool you down in the summer. You...can just be you. We know this is a lot to take in now, but soon you'll see things our way."

Cinnabar retrieves a set of keys from her pocket, twirling the familiar ring round her finger. "We can talk more about this after you finish your dessert."

[godtrauma]

glen (@godisaknife) sexually harassed me after being told to stop

tw: persistent sexual harassment, parasocial behavior, suicidal thoughts. tumblr will not even let me use tw or cw to trigger tag this

a few months ago, i received a kinky ask after i had been sharing some thoughts about wanting a dom who was intense but caring. i received an anonymous message along these lines and at first i was interested and consented to the interactions, but i wasn’t too comfortable with the anonymous part.

while asking these questions, i was speaking with a mutual about them and how i was getting uncomfortable. he had replied on anon that he was an older mutual, and that’s when i knew it was glen; he had been liking my posts at the time of sending asks, he had a very particular typing style, he’s into that BDSM kind of stuff. i never thought of glen in a romantic/attractive way, and the fact that he’s younger than me, has a very “uwu” personality (something he literally types out), and often posts very distressing mental health/suicidal ideation to the point where i filtered his URL instead of unfollowing because i was worried that might trigger him. he sent a couple more asks, which i ignored and hoped he’d get the memo.

in one ask, he gave another clue “daddy G”

(note: please remember this is the type of ask/fantasy i had consented to at this point.)

i told the “anon” i wasn’t interested.

glen replied with the most obvious “clues” telling me who he was, and continued to use kinky language that i had no longer consented to.

(note the “ILY” after i told him to stop and calling me “his boy”)

i shouldn’t have to explain myself in why i didn’t block him then, so i won’t.

some time went by and i received a new ask, this time again with dead ringer texting style than i knew was glen. i tried to put him off in the plainest way possible, again attempting to not make him feel awful because i have a bleeding heart/savior complex personality even though i can barely manage my mental health.

(here’s another instance of him using “fren”)

glen did NOT get the memo somehow and persisted further, telling me this:

that’s when i had completely had it. this ask finally gave me the clarity and drive that i needed to message him to directly tell him he’d cross the line and that i was blocking him. i proceeded to block him everywhere else i knew him from.

i never considered glen and i very close. we both have severe and similar mental health issues that i knew weren’t good for each other so i didn’t message him often. i looked back on what messages i did send, and realized how many times he referred to be as “my beloved” and such. now of course i realize that’s weird, especially because the only thing i know about him is that he lives in italy, he’s 25, he likes horror and hannibal, and like me, he’s mentally unstable (something we have in common and im not pointing out to demonize him)

hopefully people can learn from me that if someone is upsetting you to the point where you avoid them, just cut the ties now. there’s no merit or benefit of trying to be the savior/helper when if affects YOUR mental health too.

do not go to glen’s profile and send asks/messages. block him, please. he’s in a lot of my mutual circles and i don’t want to see him around anymore. his actions led to a sleepless night, a panic attack, and paranoia. i needed others to know and avoid him and it’s taken all my energy today to post this.

additionally, and i can't believe i have to say this:

trying to discredit someone's sexual harassment allegations by saying that the harasser "wasn't TRYING to be malicious" or "lacked social cues" or "didn't threaten anything" are all victim-blaming mentalities that side with the oppressor. i can't believe i have to explain this in 2025 but lack of intent to harm does not equal a lack of harm. i do not think that glen is purposefully harmful but he still harassed me and that's what matters.

[a-sterling-rose]

Danny Phantom Writing Prompt: The Lack of a Hero Complex

Once Danny publicly shames Vlad into returning the status quo of Amity Park, Danny also stops ghost fighting.

The Human Trio and Vlad confront Danny about his lack of action. The Human Trio finally gets a taste of the sleep deprivation Danny experienced when he didn't want to burden them from their schedules while the property damage continued to tarnish Vlad's public reputation. Danny just laughs.

Sam, completely livid at the lack of reaction: Who’s going to protect the town, Danny?

Danny gets up from the couch and looks directly into Vlad's eyes: Yeah, Vlad, how do you plan on protecting your town?

Danny lightly chuckles while he goes down to the lab where the Fenton Parents were working. He was just gonna play on the family computer while his Dad would boast about their latest idea.

The human trio:

Vlad:

When the ghosts who come to directly harass Danny, he decides he just needs to be completely honest with each of them.

Danny: Listen, I'll admit I kinda had fun with the bantering, but I want to focus on better things now. I was never really interested in any of you.

The Ghosts:

The results?

Vlad has to set up legit ghost detectors all over the city and properly hire the Fentons for protection. Vlad hoped that the hiring would gain him favor from Maddie, but he finally got to see how she really was compared to his idealized version. Their constant public damages made Vlad's reputation even more tarnished, and their lack of change despite him personally talking to them about it makes him grow equal resentment towards both of them. It gets to the point where Vlad just sets up the same ecto repellent he uses to keep ghosts from escaping his portal back in Winsconsin. The extra paperwork he has to do now governing is not worth the mess he caused. Political power wasn't as worth it as he thought it would be.

The Human Trio gave Danny the cold shoulder for a while, but that just gave him some well needed alone time to raise his grades. He even finally got to join the astronomy club like he planned before the portal accident. They were a very chill group and welcomed him to sit with them at lunch, so he was never alone. Dash tried to start their usual routine, but that was immediately hauled by the club leader.

Dash wasn't clever enough to figure out how to respond to being called 'Pussy Lips' by a girl, so he just kinda sulked away.

Dash will say the occasional snarky comment, but he never bring himself to get too close to Danny after a club member told Danny to tell Dash and the other football players they could take turns sucking him off after their club meeting. Dash just wasn't clever enough to get things back to normal.

Though the club members weren't A-listers, they weren't at the bottom, so Danny social life became better.

The Human Trio tried to continue on like before, but they were soon caught ghost hunting by the Fentons. There was no punishment, just overactive excitement, seeing they were finally interested in Ghost Hunting. Now, having to join the Fentons whenever there was a ghost detected, the fun of it is zapped away for them, making the tiredness not worth it anymore. The three eventually apologized to Danny, which he accepts, and the group finally accepts the new changes.

There are many things that can upset a ghost, but the universal act that can anger any core is being ignored. Even with the ecto repellent, the stronger ghosts manage to get through and try to get Danny's attention. The boy always just texts Vlad about how he sucks at his job and to take care of the disruption. The ghost eventually pick up that their violent outburst aren't working, so it gets to the point that they try to get his attention another way.

They tried to coax him with things they believed he liked. It is comparable to how Hyper Cat-lovers try to get a shy cat to love them.

Lunch Lady offers him a freshly made meal when he's low on money one day. He thanks her but says he had a big breakfast.

Ember tries to act like their best friends in front of the A-listers, so Danny will become more popular at school. He greets her but continues on his stroll like she was a typical citizen.

Technus offers to give Danny the answer key to all the tests for his classes, but he denies this offer instantly. He'll never cheat on a test ever again.

It got to the point that Skulker said he would drop the promise of getting Danny's pelt if he just let him see his ghostly form. Creeped out, Danny just backed away. He was thankful Valerie was close by.

Box Ghost actually got somewhere when he offered a three-dimensional solar system model. It was in a box he had, so Box Ghost offered it to Danny. He accepted it as the one in the club was showing its age.

This seemed to make these random ghost visits even more frequent. Danny guessed Box Ghost bragged about his 'accomplishment'.

Basically, the ghosts' obsession to defeat Danny changes to them wanting his attention. Vlad’s obsession becomes solely focused on Danny as he just finds Maddie and Jack so annoying now. Like, Vlad just wants to get custody of Danny and get the hell out of Amity Park. He doesn't even want to kill the Fentons now out of fear that they will become ghosts.

After the Ember incident, the A-listers kept trying to buddy up to him. However, Danny learned how they really were, so he just treated them the way he treated ghosts. Now, it seemed they were just as desperate.

Danny will turn into Phantom only when it's necessary, that or he's in the mood to fly. The downside to this change is that whenever he does transform, he always has an entourage of attention-starved ghosts following behind him. He can't even imagine how things would be if he went to the Ghost Zone.

Additions:

For those who want to know the members of the astronomy club-

For those who want to see the club room-

[the-badger-mole]

In a Time of Adversity

It was just his dumb luck, Zuko thought. All year he had been butting heads with the city's most annoying overachiever. Katara, the prodigy with a 9000 IQ, who'd managed to skip a grade and end up in all of Zuko's advanced placement classes, had been thorn in his side since the day she'd corrected one of his physics equations in front of the whole class. Ever since they had been locked in an increasingly heated battle of who would earn the highest marks in their class, and every week felt like a new face off.

Sometimes he would come out on top, but he had to grudgingly admit that while gave as good as he got on tests and assignments, she had the upper hand when it came to quips and put downs. Too often Zuko had been left sputtering in her wake, struggling to find a comeback from some scathing retort she'd just delivered. It wasn't until after yet another one of these exchanges, when Zuko in his frustration had the thought that he would love to throw her against a locker and kiss her until she didn't have the breath for one of her smart remarks, that it occurred to him that there might be more to his feelings towards her than animosity. And that was the last time he ever spoke to her directly. Disaster averted.

So, of course, when their science class goes on a weekend long camping trip in the middle of Backwoods, Nowhere, he would end up being partnered with her to find a rare fungus. Of course they would end up losing the trail and wandering through the forest with no clue how to make it back to camp. And of course, it would start raining, sending them scrambling up the mountain to a cave that was hopefully abandoned.

"At least we won't have to worry about dehydration," Katara said, pulling the water from their clothes.

"Sure," Zuko replied gruffly. He looked around for something to burn, but there wasn't anything but some leaves and twigs around. Not exactly the makings of a bonfire.

"I'm sure they're looking for us already." Katara sat down against a wall and drew her knees up to her chest.

"Great." Zuko wasn't optimistic about the prospect. Their science class wasn't exactly full of the great outdoors types. Katara had the most camping experience of anyone. The best they could hope for was that the chaperones would call search and rescue early the next morning.

"Do you think we should look for some firewood or something?" Katara suggested. She was shivering a bit, and Zuko could feel the chill settling onto his skin, too.

"It'll all be wet," he told her. "All we'll end up doing is smoking ourselves out."

"I can dry it," Katara reminded him. There was a sharp edge to her voice now. Zuko looked over at her and realized she was scowling at him.

"What's your problem?" he asked, irritably.

"You!" Katara shouted. Her voice bounced around the shallow cave jarringly. "You're my problem."

"Me?" Zuko drew back, affronted. "You're the one who got us lost, Katara, Queen of the Jungle!"

"Alright, fine! I'm sorry, alright?" Her voice cracked dangerously. "I just thought we could work together on this and things could go back to normal between us." Whatever Zuko had been expecting her to say, that was not it.

"Normal?" he repeated, completely baffled. "Normal between us? What are you talking about?" Over the sound of the falling rain, Zuko thought he heard Katara sniffling. Was she crying?

"You-you've been avoiding me for weeks," she said. Zuko was stunned. He'd heard Katara laugh (usually at him), and yell (again...usually at him). He'd heard her confidently dressing down a teacher that once made the mistake of telling her that women didn't get far in the science field. But this...this vulnerability in her voice. That was new.

"I haven't been avoiding you," he said. It wasn't entirely a lie. It's not like he turned the other direction when he saw her in the hall. He just didn't engage in their verbal sparring matches.

"You won't talk to me," Katara said. "You barely acknowledge me when I talk to you. When Piando assigned us as partners, you looked like he had just told you to eat a raw snail. I don't know what I did to offend you this badly, but I'm sorry, okay?" She was definitely crying now, and Zuko was panicking.

"I'm not...I'm not angry at you," he told her hesitantly. "I just...it's just that our bickering was beginning to feel....I don't know...childish?"

"So it's because I'm younger?" Katara demanded. Zuko winced. That was a frequent sore spot for Katara. Because she'd been moved ahead in school, some of her teachers and classmates made a big fuss over her age whenever she did something they didn't like. Zuko thought it was stupid. She was a year and some change younger than him, and only two years younger than the oldest people in their grade. Hardly a mind bending gap, especially given how mature she was generally.

"No, that's not it," Zuko said. "It's not about your age, or grades or anything like that. I just don't feel like having an enemy I don't need to have." Katara fell silent for a moment. Zuko thought he could still hear her sniffling every so often.

"I didn't think we were enemies," she said softly. It took a moment for Zuko to understand what she'd said. Then he snorted.

"Right," he scoffed. "That's why you called me a spoiled brat who probably paid someone to do my homework for me."

"Okay," Katara huffed. "I'm not saying we were besties or anything. But I thought we were at least friendly rivals. I wasn't seriously accusing you of cheating. It's just...school isn't always a challenge."

"Egghead," Zuko muttered. Something small-an acorn, probably- hit the wall next to his head. He smirked at Katara in the dark.

"That's more of a criticism of our curriculum than a brag," she said defensively. "Anyway, I was saying that you challenge me. If I wasn't trying so hard to be better than you, I would be so bored."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Katara's soft spoken vulnerability hung in the air between them for a long moment. Then Zuko laughed. He sensed Katara stiffen, draw into herself, and he slid over to her side of the cave.

"I'd be bored without you, too," he admitted. "And for the record, the only one in our school who would be worth paying to cheat from would be you." Katara scowled up at him, Zuko was actually close enough to see it in the dark. Then she laughed, too.

"So what did I do to piss you off so bad, then?" she asked him. Zuko drew back, feeling the heat rush to his face.

"Nothing," he said quickly. "You didn't say or do anything. I just wanted to be different, I guess."

"Oh." Katara wrapped her arms tightly around herself and a hard shiver ran through her.

"You're cold," Zuko said.

"Aren't you?" Katara asked through clenched teeth.

"Firebender," he reminded her. "Um...if you want, you can..." Zuko opened his arm towards her, an awkward invitation. Without hesitating, Katara scooted over and curled into his side, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"You're better than a heating pad," she sighed contentedly.

This was a mistake, Zuko thought immediately. Katara lay her head against his shoulder and every thought he'd had about kissing her until she was dizzy came rushing back. He would be a complete gentleman, of course, but he prayed that sleep would come quickly and end his torture.

"Hey, Zuko?" Katara lifted her head to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're here with me." Zuko's mind screeched to a halt. What did that mean? After a moment he decided it didn't really matter.

"I'm glad, too," he said honestly.

[cruyuu]

Oooh since you're on a Sukuita streak, I'm dying to know how you think Yuuji and Sukuna feel about each other in chapter 271 👀 that's a question that's been nagging at me since we don't see this new and enlightened Sukuna interact with or mention Yuuji (unfortunately 😔) But I can't help but feel there's some fondness there on both sides

Hi anon! I'm on a sukuita streak bc I'm currently trying to complete my re-read of jjk for my skit analysis but failing terribly because I'm busy as hell (+ they're on my mind a lot these days). Thank you for allowing me to yap a bit more about them in the meantime tho!

I'll start everything off with this: Everything's very subtle in these few last chapters and it's so subtle that some still think nothing's changed. It's there if you care but if you don't, it can easily go over your head.

Now, to answer your question, I'll have to state that my personal opinion is that the moment of Sukuna's change had started since the day of his reincarnation into Yuuji's body, but that he only acknowledged it in Chapter 271- when he finally called him by his full name. I'll keep it brief here but will offer a more proper explanation in my analysis. For now, I'll just put it like this: Sukuna was changing but wasn't admitting it to himself. He was fighting that and lost because of that. If he was still as unhinged as he was back in the Heian era and didn't give two fucks, trust me, the ending (and his relationship with Yuuji) would've been waaaaay different that it is now.

This opinion of mine has affected how I view canon in some aspects and hence, to me, it makes it plausible that their relationship would've been the same whether at Chapter 1 or post-embraced "change" (Chapter 268 and 271).

It would not be a total "change" with them skipping rocks and laughing and being all lovey dovey but rather... no longer extreme but sort of reluctant, awkward and competitive (with lots of teasing) friendship??? There would be similar vibe they had when we first grew to love them. I do think there would've been more pronounced fondness there after the acceptance.

The reason for all of this up above is that this is a shonen work and that they're labeled as enemies (meaning that if it was a different genre, you know damn well they'd be lovers...).

Anyway, Yuuji had officially joined the "favored by Sukuna" club when Sukuna called him by his full name and was "surprised" he'd take this "farce" so far. One thing that's known about Sukuna is that he tends to compliment his opponents and then say their name and Yuuji seemingly joins the trend... with an insult (but I'd call it a disguised compliment).

and yeah, I know, "How can I claim that it means something when he didn't compliment him nor his abilities?"

Well, that's the thing. There's always something different.

If there's one thing unique to these two, it's the fact that they're stubborn shits whose relationship is like a locked room mystery. The key is to pay close attention. Don't trust the words, look at the actions because it isn't that simple. That's where usually those who don't care fail to see the relevance and why they're confused with, for example, why Yuuji told Sukuna that he is him. It's because it's not directly stated, but rather hinted at, time and time again. These two have that sort of relationship, one extremely layered, with lies and deceit, and haunted by double meaning and subtext.

Yuuji was always the one (and I cannot stress that enough). If you've read this manga then you know just how yappy and weird Sukuna tends to get about this "insignificant brat" who he relentlessly mocks and teases and argues with and then claims he's boring. He's constantly doing the opposite of what he says when it comes to Yuuji, and as it happens, so does Yuuji too.

Yuuji is always singled out. Even if he blended into the surroundings and disappeared, Sukuna would still manage to find a trace of him because that's totally a normal way to think about someone you deem "insignificant". The same goes with Yuuji, who in his intent in stopping Sukuna, forgets about his act of being the embodiment of good (and claiming moral superiority to Sukuna) and goes on to cannibalize his half-brothers (which is... very Sukuna of him). This is even given more relevance when you remember Sukuna never ate someone in the story despite being proclaimed "a cannibal".

Still, this is why Yuuji no longer argues about morals with him and why his talk with him in 265 appeals to the fact that they are similar, more than they can even seem to admit and that arguing against who's right and wrong is pointless.

The reason why Yuuji is singled out is because he is the closest we'll ever know of Sukuna who doesn't talk about himself much. They may seem vastly different at first, but as you go deeper and deeper into the story, the lines between them start to blur and at times, even Yuuji's behavior is unexplainable because even he, too, doesn't act accordingly at times. They're both the same (said by Yuuji himself) and hence via them interacting with each other is how we learn more and more about them individually. Because, even if they are "the same", they are still different because their choices are what shaped them as well as how they view life (again, stated by Yuuji himself).

They're not your "everything is right there", but rather "everything is there if you know how to look". In my revisiting of Chapter 271, I realized that Sukuna had already stated everything there is to state. The fact that he's open with others, that he's capable of being weak, finding weak opponents "worthy", being killed, being defeated, being treated as a human being... all of that goes to Yuuji.

He doesn't need to state anything directly because he's quite a skilled liar:

Sukuna had lived for years. He wasn't defeated, instead, he accepted Kenjaku's proposal and sealed himself into fingers for a different purpose. That purpose was participation in the Culling Games. Why did he do that? Well he didn't give any explanation so we have figure it out.

Back then, there was no Itadori Yuuji and back then Sukuna was hailed as the strongest with no one there to equal him. He was feared, revered, loved, hated, but ultimately never defeated. Also, he was cursed. If this curse (as he calls himself) lived according to his principles, he'd be enjoying every second of his life, but in the Yorozu flashback he appears... very bored. That's the first contradiction that we have with Sukuna. The fact that he lives according to his own whims yet never appears satisfied nor happy. Hell the happiest he seems is in modern times, when he awakens in Yuuji's body and excitedly shouts about how much things have changed.

Now was Kenjaku's proposal just giving Sukuna more people to slaughter in the future? No. Seems pointless. Could it be that they were offering Sukuna a way out from the curse that he was carrying? Seems way more probable. After all, Kenjaku would go on to create Yuuji, and curiously, he'd be the one to take everything away- liberate Sukuna from his curse and offer him a different perspective, even offer to be there for him no matter what (which again, I cannot fucking imagine is actual reality... I still think 268 is a fever dream).

The truth comes out in the end, after Yuuji looks at his torn fingers, calls Sukuna's fingers harmless and smiles at the sky. Sukuna isn't even alive and yet Yuuji predicts correctly that he's harmless- as Sukuna would go on to say that he lost and that it'll be nice to take a different path in life. It's just confirmation that the fondness he has for him is there because he doesn't belittle him, doesn't make any negative comments but just... says it's all good and smiles. The same is true for Sukuna because he's no longer stubbornly clinging on to his way of "contradictory living" and is actually considering doing what Yuuji told him. He doesn't vehemently reject the idea (as would be expected), but rather embraces it.

Courtesy of Itadori Yuuji.

Again, to quote myself:

Sukuna had stated everything there is to state. The fact that he's open with others, that he's capable of being weak, finding weak opponents "worthy", being killed, being defeated, being treated as a human being... all of that goes to Yuuji.

This is what Sukuna had learned via Yuuji, something that he had no way of experiencing before, otherwise he would've changed a long time ago and wouldn't stubbornly cling to life nor make deals with Kenjaku who also longed for fulfillment (which they had found ;) ). It seems pointless to trap yourself just to kill more people in the future or cause "mass chaos" via the Merger, just because "the humans have different flavors". I bet he also had a great share of amazing battles and "unique flavors" even back then and besides, doing grand schemes for shits and giggles is a bit boring. Hence why "looking for a way out of his cursed state" / "change" is a more better explanation imo.

So! I went off track here a bit lmfao. But yep, Sukuna is quite a good liar. The change he was looking for- something which didn't bring him fulfillment back in the Heian era- was found in the modern era, where he shared a body with this brat who will ultimately "change the trajectory of his life".

Sukuna lived within Yuuji and even if he likes to pretend that he doesn't know him, he does. He knows him just as well as Yuuji knows him in return. The narrative spells it out. Both of them are extremely strong and quite perceptive about others so why in the hell's name would they not be about each other? It appears like they've just been blind or ignoring the truth until they had to face it.

Still, anon, I understand the feeling and I know it seems weird and off to just end it like that without discussing it in greater detail, especially after what I ranted about above. Their relationship is a clusterfuck and that's why I love them a lot because you can't exactly place where it lies exactly. It's ambiguous as hell, with both romantic, sexual, familial, hell all undertones there are. Are they enemies? Are they lovers? Are they just misunderstood friends? Nephew and uncle? Who knows (do not ask Gege).

Even if jjk has ended, it still feels like something's missing. The question and the definite answer. Here, the question is posed and has seemingly remained unanswered because Sukuna's dead and Yuuji alive. They've been separated.

So how will we ever know what enlightened Sukuna thinks about Yuuji? How do they truly feel about each other?

I talked about it briefly here (regarding Chapter 271 and how valuable it is) and I already discussed up above how I view them. How even if nothing's there, there's still something there and that something is a lot. It seems confusing as hell but it's the best explanation I can give you.

In short: Yes, there is fondness there post-Chapter 271 due to just how much these two had impacted each other and how the ending played out and I bet there's a lot of suppressed love which couldn't get out due to Sukuna being lowkey put off by emotional conversations and quite stubborn in his view of life and being "misunderstood". Yuuji is way more open emotionally and hence why he's all "sunshine and rainbows about it" while Sukuna is still being subdued about it... but not totally because even he admitted that he lost to Yuuji and that his "farce" got him good in the end (so much so that he'd love to meet him again if there is life again).

In true tragic romance cliche fashion, our fated lovers enemies do not make it but alas, it isn't that dark and the send off is extremely pretty imo. Sure, like I said, it's confusing if you don't know the details nor dwell on it but yeah. They are... just being them. I love them lol.