#(and i'm thinking i might be getting into the unhealthy stages of why i write this should not be my coping mechanism right)

[sorryimananti-romantic]

What inspires you to write? And how do you deal with a writer's block?

hi love <3

i think the little things inspire me to write? a product of my daydream, a little sth that catches my attention like a song lyric, a concept photo or a quote. i'm really inspired by kdramas or movies that i watch, or the books that i (used to) read.

as of lately, i'm more into the whole worldbuilding and the plot aspects of writing- that's where i start, and then i fit/shape the member i write for accordingly. the members are just characters in the fic, the world and the setting that i create for them is the primary focus. that mainly inspires/drives me to write.

as for writer's block, when i feel it coming, i try to find the source of it and deal with that directly. sometimes, real life is overwhelming us (real life is always overwhelming me and i actually write to cope so if even writing starts to overwhelm me... i'll have nothing left LOL).

sometimes, it's bc we just need a little break to sort our thoughts out. it's okay to not always actively write and post. i take a little congratulatory break after each fic posted where i just watch sth or read stuff or rot. it works really good bc i actually want to write when the break is over. in case i'm obsessed with an idea i just have to write, i try to do planning instead of actually writing. (and i think in the long run its better to have these little breaks instead of a big writer's block break, but sometimes we do need the big break :') don't be scared of it)

also, i think it's really imp that you know who you are writing for. you should primarily be writing for yourself, and then for the readers. the pressure of posting sometimes gets to us, and that's okay, we just need to take a few deep breaths and think. sometimes, we're losing motivation, there's lack of feedback, or various other factors that make it seem like a writer's block is coming. but really, prioritise yourself in when and what you write <3

and to add on to this-- give yourself the ego boost no one will (or write out of spite like i do). you're amazing, you're a great writer, you write juicy stuff, and that's all that matters! people don't have to love you for you to know that you're a great writer! gaslight yourself if you have to (it works). write out of spite-- hmm, why has no one written xxx trope about yyy member yet? if no one has, i will. this also works.

also, i think the most imp thing in all this yapping is being able to talk to someone if you feel like you can't write. sometimes when you feel like you're stuck and there's only darkness, talking to someone about what you feel, or what you want to write and bouncing ideas with them lights up that bulb in your head and before you know it, you're back on track again.

and if you ever need that person, i'm here for you <3

[bloody-cupcakes]

Can i get a yan!jd (and or Veronica) with a very hesitant reader? Like theyre willing to join in with JD's murders but they extremely doubtful/hesitant with with commiting the act cause they dont want to mess it up?

Sorry if this is too much or not what exactly you want, just shooting my shot here 🐊

No no this is perfect! It's not too much at all, I really enjoyed writing this 🥰 I went with both JD and Veronica because who doesn't love a good murder throuple

Tw: yandere/dark content, gender neutral reader, typical canon related warnings (murder being framed as suicide, several gun mentions, swearing, etc.), the reader is very easily persuaded into helping to commit/cover up a murder, suggestive stuff near the end

"What if we get caught?"

It was the fifth time you'd asked in the past ten minutes, and JD was getting very close to strangling you.

"We won't get caught as long as we stick to the plan," he hissed out in annoyance, trying his best not to snap at you.

"Okay, but what if-"

Veronica cut you off so JD wouldn't pop a blood vessel and give her another suicide to stage, with you as the intended target. "I wrote the note in their exact handwriting, and you already did part of your job by telling Heather Duke that they've 'been acting weird' lately. I'm sure half of Sherwood must know by now, so their death shouldn't come as too big of a surprise."

"Who knew that for once it would come in handy that Heather can't keep her damn mouth shut," JD added with an eyeroll as he counted the bullets in his gun. "It certainly doesn't help their case to have such a big obsession with firearms. And given their track record of firing them all throughout the night, I don't think they'll be missed much."

You slowly nodded your head in understanding despite the look of hesitation in your eyes. "Yeah, but... I just don't want to mess anything up and get you guys into trouble."

It was clear to Veronica that you still seemed a bit apprehensive about everything, so she gave you a reassuring smile and said, "You're not going to mess anything up. If we thought that might happen, we would've left you at home."

"Then you wouldn't get to enjoy the show, and what fun would that be?" JD piped up with a grin as Veronica rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry about it, okay? Everything will be fine." The sincerity of her tone did its job of starting to relax you. She was right, they'd never invite you along if they thought something bad might happen. If there was one thing they could agree on, it was making sure to keep you out of harm's way.

"If you say so, but I still don't understand why they have to die."

"Because they were getting a little too close for comfort in study hall, that's why." JD came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you as his chest pressed against your back. He had his gun in his hand, but you weren't worried. You trusted him not to hurt you. "They were asking inappropriate questions and practically undressing you with their eyes. Only we get to do that."

It was hard to keep your expression neutral due to how flattered you were. Other people might find it to be smothering or unhealthy, but you loved how protective they were over you.

"Okay, you remember the plan, right?" Veronica asked as the three of you approached the intended target's house. "You just go up and knock on the door. They'll let you in-"

"No doubt with the assumption that they'll score," JD butted in with a scowl. Veronica ignored him and chose to continue.

"-and when that happens, I want you to ask them about their firearm collection. Once you get them feeling vulnerable and safe, ask to see one of their guns. Make sure you get close enough to shoot them in the head so it'll look like a believable suicide. Do you remember what their dominant hand is?"

"They're ambidextrous (meaning they use both) so it won't matter which side it's on." You felt proud of yourself for being able to remember such an important piece of information. The time you spent in study hall with them didn't turn out to be completely useless after all.

"Well, aren't you a cute little schemer in the making," JD teased while giving your cheek a playful pinch.

"Shut up," you muttered while giving him a light shove in response. "You guys promise to come in once the gun goes off, right?"

"Of course we do. As soon as we hear it, we'll be inside to help you." Veronica took your hand in hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Good luck," was the last thing she said before her and JD went to go hide while they waited for you to enact your part of the plan.

You put on your most convincing smile as you made your way to the front door, knowing your acting game was going to need to be on point in order for this to work.

Much to your relief and delight, things ended up going a lot smoother than you'd anticipated, and that included the act of murder itself. When JD and Veronica entered the house, you were still holding the gun used to shoot them with, their blood splattered on your face and clothes.

"I did it!" You announced in surprised disbelief, your eyes wide as you stared down at the dead body now lying on the floor. "I did it..."

"You did, good job." Veronica took the gun from you to stage next to the body as JD cupped your face with his hands, completely unbothered by the blood there. "I'm so proud of you, baby. You did it."

A shiver of pleasure went down your spine at his words of praise. "Yeah, I did." You could tell by the way his pupils were blown wide that he was ready to devour you where you stood.

"Hey, I still need your help with this," Veronica's voice interrupted whatever kind of moment you were having, causing JD to let out a groan of disappointment.

"I'll give you your reward once we're done," he murmured lowly, giving you a hungry yet restrained kiss before letting go of you to help Veronica.

You watched the two of them as they set everything up to make it look like a suicide, from the weapon to the note. Despite your earlier worries, everything played out perfectly, just like it was supposed to.

It made you feel excited for any potential outings like this you guys might have in the future.

[thedailydescent]

Hey! I meant to send you an ask for the ask meme way earlier but the trailer dropped and i got completely derailed..

But here it is!

What is your favourite book genre and is there anything you would recommend? What is your favourite movie from your childhood? Do you have any unpopular IWTV opinions? Do you have any Season 2 theories you haven't seen anyone talk about? Do you have any Claudia headcanons specific to Paris? Do you think Claudia might be haunting Dubai? Are there any songs you think are very Claudia coded?

Here I am answering this ask 4-5 days later!

-What is your favourite book genre and is there anything you would recommend?

I tend to gravitate towards gothic horror and absurdist comedy (the two can often intertwine) For what I would recommend, it would depend on the person! Like, do you like something that involves romance? History? Leans more into the comedy aspect? Leans more into the horror aspect?

-What is your favourite movie from your childhood?

At 11 I got addicted to Titanic and became a huge Titanic nerd lol. It's funny because I actually thought it was a horror movie initially because I watched the second half first with a friend who just wanted to skip to the boat sinking (I had never watched a horror movie prior to this so watching the claustrophobic sinking room scenes and the multiple people dying in front of me traumatized me okay!!). I guess I'll go with Titanic since that's the one movie I still love today I'm not ashamed to admit :)

-Do you have any unpopular IWTV opinions?

Oh plenty. I've spoken about a lot of them but I guess I'll mention that the writers including what happened to Claudia in Episode 5 was not bad writing, but more just poorly set-up imo. I know a lot of people hated it when the episode came out, and threw accusations of exploitation and the writers adding it just for shock value, but I politely disagree with those takes even if I get where they're coming from.

(trigger warning for mentions of SA below)

Claudia in both the books and the show constantly suffers from a lack of autonomy. It is a huge aspect of her character. She is constantly touched and handled too freely, as if she were still a child, without her consent. Louis and Claudia's relationship gets very unhealthy as well, as a result of her creators designing an environment where she literally has no one else. Now that they have aged her up, this aspect is still present, but now the threats are different. Claudia in Season 1 is driven by freedom and romantic love, but has now reached a stage where any human she gets into a romantic relationship would either be a creepy relationship with teenage boys, or a creepy relationship with a pervert. So she then looks to finding love with other vampires. Then she finds out, like in the books, other vampires won't necessarily understand or respect her either. It's a depressing realization that makes her character even more tragic. I know people would have preferred her seeing her struggle on her own to the point of being driven home rather than having the assault take place, but because of Claudia's character development this season, and because the season was so tightly condensed, the plot they went with actually makes sense :( And in fact, Claudia was actually never driven home because of the assault. She was driven home when she realized what her purpose finally was, as she was feeling lost and like she didn't belong anywhere as a black teenage vampire for years ("I realized why they made me- to be Louis's sister). If she couldn't survive on her own, albeit with more struggles than other vampires would, she wouldn't have tried to leave in Episode 6 by herself with Louis's assurance she could get by alright.

The thing that also makes this non-exploitative and randomly placed to me is that they never show it, and explicitly emphasize that they will not be showing or revealing the details despite Daniel's pressing.

The thing I didn't like was how it was set up. Bruce, like Claudia, wants to find other vampires and form a gang, but when he has found Claudia, after a minute, without any warning, just instantly throws an etiquette book at her (?), gets angry, assaults her, then leaves? So was that just his goal his entire time? I get why people think it's a badly written plotline. It would have made much more sense if Bruce had been a creepy "Stanley from Silent Hill 3" type, who through stalking her across universities, leaves letters and weird gifts for her or something. Claudia would be initially intrigued, because, hello, other vampires exist after all! but soon becomes wigged out and starts ignoring his letters/mind messages to her. She would end up escaping him (or killing him), because he wouldn't leave her alone, and that experience might add to her desire to leave the country and face Lestat.

Do you have any Season 2 theories you haven't seen anyone talk about?

I actually don't see many people talking about Madeleine. I do have a theory that Madeleine parallels Claudia's human mother in a couple of ways. I have this headcanon that Claudia had a black father and a white mother (just going off on the fact that Bailey Bass is biracial, but you don't have to agree), and they were teenagers when they had her, so that's why her dad gave her to his family to take care of (I'm assuming Claudia's mother might have been disowned or ran off, or her family refused to raise her themselves). So Madeleine represents to Claudia her mother if she had lived, just like Madeleine sees Claudia as a daughter if she had lived. And because this is supposed to be a complicated relationship, as Claudia is the actual older one, probably still longing for romantic connection, and doesn't want to get stuck in another daughter role, the show might venture further than mother/daughter/friendship territory, because this is the AR universe so things will naturally get complicated. I totally get if others don't want them to go into that area though.

Do you have any Claudia headcanons specific to Paris?

I do feel like Paris is where Claudia has her own awakening, same as Louis. It's where she realizes she likes girls, as we see her in a vampire orgy scene with another woman. I also think Claudia is a bit of a stalker. She likes trailing Madeleine or other women, seeing the life she could have had if she had stayed human. She actually ironically shares that in common with Armand. I feel like Armand and Claudia will actually like each other at first, and see a lot of themselves in each other. But because Claudia can see trouble coming a million miles away, his act doesn't fool her for long like it does with Louis, so gradually tension starts to build. I feel like Armand in the show, unlike in the book, actually harbors some regret when it comes to killing Claudia.

Also Claudia sketching Madeleine when?

Another headcanon I have is that Claudia has to fight for scenes where she plays someone who isn't a child/doll (hence the red dress in that promotional poster/painting). She also wants to get involved in some of the playwrighting, which she does with Armand. She does this until she starts getting suspicious about him, and after she quits writing, she not coincidentally at all starts getting cast in babydoll roles again. Armand sucks!

Do you think Claudia might be haunting Dubai?

God I hope so I want her to be haunting Louis but especially Armand's ass. The reason Armand supposedly can be awake at any time is because he just can't sleep, what with Claudia constantly taunting and tormenting him!

Are there any songs you think are very Claudia coded?

-"Can't Catch Me Now" by Olivia Rodrigo- perfect for Claudia haunting Louis and Armand!

-"Daughter" by Beyonce

-"Brutal" by Olivia Rodrigo

-"Girls Just Want To Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper

-"I've Got To Be Me" by Sammy Davis Jr.

-"Teen Idle" by Marina

-"Antagonist" by Nova Twins

-"Beating Like A Hammer" by Metric

-"Mama, I'm A Big Girl Now" (Hairspray)

-"Eat Your Young" by Hozier- I hesitate to add this one because the song is supposedly based around the Irish "A Modest Proposal", now a similar concept taking place in modern times, but the music video just strikes me as very Claudia coded. In it, the child in the nuclear family is created to fulfill the parent's needs, and is subsequently put into a box and told to be a certain way. The parents are hungry in a demanding society that metaphorically starves them to the point that they'll take drastic measures to fulfill that hunger, even if it means exploiting and metaphorically consuming their own children. And who is that if not Claudia with regards to Louis and Lestat?

Thanks for the ask friend! And sorry it took so long to answer <3

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

I know you've said you don't have many thoughts about Revchi but I just wanted someone to rant to since that's apparently what we're doing now and your takes are indeed excellent (shout-out to Neige anon)

I genuinely think he must carry a lot sadness and trauma, that he closed his heart so much. When Gueldre said that all the other Purple Orcas hated him and that's why no one took his side when he got set up, he didn't even deny it or even react. For some reason he won't allow himself to open up to others even when he had the opportunity to make friends. That's totally unhealthy (honestly, the other Purple Orcas probably couldn't be counted on anyway since from what little we see of them, they're the BC equivalent of dirty cops).

I don't know how to word it but there's something so sad about him. He reminds me a bit of Zora in a way, like they both hide their inner pain with cynicism and snark. How he calls himself "just a wretched thief" in the first chapter, the way he somewhat hides his scar with his hair, even the way his speech bubbles are drawn all wobbly??? Someone get that man into therapy asap please

On an unrelated sidenote you've actually made me appreciate Fuegoleon, believe it or not. I used to not care about him at all but now I like him a lot lol

I mean "not having a lot of thoughts" is always relative too. Like, I ended up writing quite a lot for Revchi in that one ask game, which surprised even me. So it seems I had more thoughts than what I thought, but I still don't think it's comparatively a lot if we take into account other characters.

Plus, now that my exams, and this semester are finally over, I have the next three weeks time to do nothing and sleep. Instead of having my braincells running study stuff in the background on an pinned tab, which might affect how many thoughts I have to spare for the fandom. Also, I like having interactions, even if they might be people feeling frustrated over how unloved their borbo is. (Again, as long as it's like constructive; a mandatory side note, because it's a public blog) I know that everyone doesn't want to interact in the comment section or via reblogs, because they don't want to draw that attention to their blogs, which is fine. But these interactions make me feels less like I'm shouting to the wind, and are evoking my love for the fandom again. And I think that the best way to learn to appreciate and get insight of a character is to talk to someone who likes said character (as long as they haven't like... made the character into pretty much just an oc with the same name, y'know the type and issue generally speaking; it happens in every fandom)

ANYWAYS, back on track and to Revchi

I think there are a lot of characters in BC that do that. Close their emotions because showing emotions isn't... allowed in a lot of circles in BC. Just today in our BC dnd campaign we basically concluded "the Magic Parliament, where justice is scrapped and public image is all that matters; welcome to the heart of Clover Kingdom".

Who knows what happened that caused Revchi to get hated like that, but I'd say that when someone is staged for a crime, there is a good chance that they stood in the way of those who ended up setting said person up. So, it's perfectly possible that Revchi was a "good cop among bad ones" and ended up getting hated and isolated by that, probably along with a lot of other things, that essentially just broke his spirit, and caused him to spiral into a "...if being a wretched thief is what's right in this kingdom, I guess that's what I'll be then" or even "they call me as a wretched thief, so I'll show them one". Which is a kind of a call for help, in a way. The man was spiralling. And when he starts to live up to the rumours, and the reason why he was dismissed, he's not doing any favours for himself, but by then he was beyond caring about it.

Why he won't open up, could be a case of being stabbed in the back, figuratively. So, maybe he trusted someone in that squad, maybe even went to Gueldre, thinking that he could trust a Captain of Clover Kingdom, and Gueldre just threw him to the wolves. I mean... if that doesn't shake your belief into the justice system of Clover, what would?

There is a tragedy in there. He's just a guy who tried to do good (as a headcanon, because all of this is purely speculation ofc), and ended up thrown into the mud.

He doesn't believe in goodness of the world anymore. Or that there can be such a thing as "justice" in Clover. Which is very similar as to what Zora feels. Actually. For Zora it's just about what happened to his dad, and for Revchi it's about what happened to him.

I imagine the wobbly speech bubbles to be a kind of a voice cracking up. Because, deep down, he didn't want to do what he did. But he was in too deep in his own head, the cynicism. Because no one would care. It wasn't the kind of a world where people would care, in his mind. The line between a hardened criminal and a knight was a line drawn in sand on a beach.

Who knows, maybe he even thought that stealing a couple of grimoires and selling them in the black market might earn him the trust of the Orcas again. Revchi just might be yet another character that Clover Kingdom failed.

[bisluthq]

https://www.tumblr.com/bisluthq/760849091467067392/yeah-i-agree-but-taylor-doesnt-seem-to-like-to?source=share

The whole "Taylor doesn't relax" thing reminds me of how sad the Speak Now era quotes from the Lover Journals make me:

Oct 8, 2010

"Music has helped me a lot lately. It helps me quiet my very loud fears. I love mornings like that, smiling and talking to strangers, waving to fans, and they burst into tears and screams.. All before noon... I get stage fright every time I walk onto a stage now. I wish it wasn't so, but I can't blame my mind for freaking out about performances. Criticism of my performances has been the biggest source of pain in my life. I sometimes feel like my college degree is in acting like i'm ok when i'm not."

Jun 17, 2011

"Something so unexpected and amazing has happened recently.. I've become blissfully happy with my life. Like, actually grateful for every second of the day... I really do need to create in order to live and feel worthwhile... This ridiculous thing happens to me when i'm this happy. I start feeling like karma will balance it all out by making something tragic happen. But i'm trying to just show gratitude as much as I can. Everyday, every minute, I'm grateful for being happy right this moment. I think I'm a summer person. I'm also a work person. Tour gives me something to pour myself into and a reason to feel ok about sleeping in till noon on my days off."

Sep 8, 2011

"I can't even tell you how alive and worthwhile i feel when I'm writing a new song and I finish it and people like it. It's the most fulfilling feeling, like getting an A+ on your report card."

Oct 30, 2011

"I've had a chest infection for the last few days, so singing has been so hard... I almost cancelled tonight's show, but I made it through... We only have 9 shows left on this tour and I'm ready for a break... I'm just so glad to have a few days off. (ok... 2)"

Mar 2, 2012

"I've been thinking a lot about getting older and relevancy and how all my heroes have ended up alone... I wrote a song and it's called 'Nothin New' and it's about being scared of aging and things changing and losing what you have. It says "I'm getting older and less sure of what you like about me anyways". And in the chorus it says "how can a person know everything at 18, and nothing at 22? And will you still want me... when I'm nothing new" It's a really vulnerable song, but I think it's important to say."

--

Idk. There's just something about a lot of observably unhealthy patterns seemingly developing around this time. Also the comments surrounding "needing to create to feel worthwhile" make me sad, since she's said later that for 6 months before writing Red (so late 2010/Early 2011) she couldn't write anything due to a "particular toxic relationship" *cough* Jake Gyllenhaal *cough*. Anyway. She’s clearly been "doing it with a broken heart" for a long ass fucking time.

yup. And that’s why I say like if this one doesn’t work out (I hope it does) I’d like her to ACTUALLY take time off and be single for a while and deal with her own shit.

okay so story time right because I keep saying this applies to me, and it does, but I do feel like I need to break the pattern and my current bf and I are doing unchartered territory for me like going to couples therapy and whatnot. My friend (the technophobe biokineticist who dated my bf’s close friend) was round the other day and having a whole ass meltdown right because she drank too much (which was on her because it was inappropriate because I had ONE light beer while she was here and my bf didn’t have anything because he thought we might have to drive her home and her car was here so we both needed to be like present yk) and she was going on and on about how she wants to be single until December (which we think is a very solid choice for her) and ergo she was upset her brother told her his friends find her hot (here’s where we lost her train of thought) because her brother and his friends are in their 30s and she’s in her 40s (like my bf also so it was hitting a nerve for us both) and she was going on and on about this and we were like “so would you rather 30 somethings don’t find you hot???” And she was like “no but I want to stay single until December!!!” and we were like “okay so do that lmao a dude finding you hot while you’re out isn’t asking to marry you?” and she was like “yes but I hate that all I’m good for is sex” and we were like “wait so do you want to fuck the 30something or nah because you don’t have to but also he’s a big boy and yes he probably doesn’t look at a 40something and plan marriage and kids right if he’s not stupid but also age gap relationships happen at our age and don’t feel that dramatic so which do you want???” And she was just like “you guys can’t understand” supposedly because he’s a man and I’m in my 30s and maybe that’s true. But all I keep thinking is my bestie evidently pencilled in FUCK DAY on December 5th lol 😂😂😂😂 and that to me is not being single or figuring yourself out at alllll lol.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

So, just out of curiosity and not because I'm projecting at all... How did Rinko feel in the early stages of her situation ship with Gojo in Another Level? Like it's mentioned that they would go weeks without hearing from one another and I guess I'm curious about when Rinko really found herself getting attached and if not in the early stages, how she got the the point that the FWB situation was comfy for her? (Hi, I'm in a fwb situation and it is nothing like Goinko, my feelings are hurt lol)

Hi Rai! So, forgive my hellish rant below that starts very abruptly... 🙃🙃

UHHHHHHHHH

Okay. So I think the most unrealistic part of Goinko is the fact that there was no one else Gojo could have fallen for. Rinko was literally perfect for him because she understood him on such a deep level.

And not in the sense that she was meant for him, but in the sense that she was the only one willing to understand him. Who wanted to learn who he truly was and see the person underneath the Six-Eyed god.

By the time she fell in love with him, Rinko was able to come to terms with it because she knew Gojo wouldn't end up with someone else. She accepted they would never be more because she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Gojo would never end up settling down with anyone. I think it would have been different if there was a genuine possibility that he could have met and fallen in love with someone else. It was likely unhealthy of her to do, but it was something that helped her cope. It was okay that he wasn't going to choose her because he wasn't going to choose anyone.

As for how she felt early on?

I haven't put too much thought into how she handled it early on if I'm being honest, but I think it's that she expected nothing from him except sex. She expected him to be emotionally detached, and she repeated to herself over and over that his actions did not imply feelings or genuine affection. But I think something else that probably helped was that she was almost always busy. She was on a job, or she was going to see Megumi, or having dinner with Shoko or Nanami... I think it was that she made an effort to fill her life with more than a relationship because she believed she would never have one. She shut off that possibility and convinced herself she would never have it.

After Yuzuki died, Rinko kinda gave up on ever having or creating a family of her own. It was the old cliche of 'love finds you when you stop looking for it' type thing. She gave up on a family, on marriage and kids. And then she accidentally fucking adopted a ton of kids and ended up marrying the idiot who, for the first seven years she really knew him, only wanted to be friends and have sex.

I might go back and write a few little blurbs because they obviously had conversations about how he thought love was a curse and things like that. I think that as they got closer, as they became friends, they had those talks and talked about relationships and why neither of them was really seeking one.

But the main reason it worked so well for so many years is that they were genuinely on the same page for what they wanted from their arrangement.

Things started cracking when they stopped communicating. And they stopped communicating when Gojo began realizing he could and did want more.

Does this make sense???? I'M AFRAID I DIDN'T MAKE ANY SENSE??? I'M REALLY SORRY IF IT DIDN'T MAKE ANY SENSE 🙃��

BUT I HOPE THINGS GO WELL FOR YOU! I HOPE YOU'RE DOING OKAY. PLEASE JUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR HEALTH, MENTAL AND PHYSICAL 💕💕💕💕💕

[taylortruther]

In regards to the haunted/dear John discussion, I think it’s helpful to consider that Taylor tends to write songs about snapshot moments, rather than as summaries of the entire story (which I think you’ve pointed out before, rae). Think of it this way: Taylor’s songs are shades of the relationship, and it typically takes multiple of them together to begin painting the larger picture. Haunted, dear John, WCS, etc paint a picture of a very difficult, unhealthy, and traumatizing relationship. Dear John says this is what happened (tho only vaguely), haunted says this is what I’m left with because of your inability to be a good partner to me, and WCS says here’s how and why I’m still grappling with all the things I’m haunted by from the relationship.

(Also I think it’s easier to make sense of these specific songs if you’ve been in that kind of relationship before. When you’re in a relationship like that, you often really don’t realize how bad it is until you’re out of it. I’m obviously generalizing based on my own experience, but haunted feels like the devastation you feel at the relationship falling apart while you’re still in it and don’t realize things yet, whereas dear John feels like she came to a lot of realizations once she had some distance from him and then she was ready to officially cut ties and let him know that she sees him and the relationship for what they were. They each portray a different emotional state about the same situation - and tbh WCS is again, just another shade of this)

i agree with this 100%! that's what makes the saga painful as a fan (and for taylor herself, i'm sure) but it's also a really fascinating and beautiful collection of all the good and bad moments of a relationship. that's why red and the love songs we've gotten since reputation are so poignant, when taken as a collective.

also agree that sometimes personal experience can inform how you view these songs. not sure if this makes sense, but it is totally understandable to me that taylor ended up creating midnights, an album that might be difficult to truly "get" until you are at a certain age or life stage where you can reflect on your regrets or unanswered questions. clearly taylor has always been in a state of metacognition about her own emotions due to her job and nature (as lorde said)... but it's really fantastic, imo, that she created an album that was SO reflective even after a long career of reflection. like. midnights is macro reflection! all her albums prior were micro reflection! idk. it's really interesting and exciting!

[shrinkthisviolet]

questions for fic writers #s 1, 2, 10, 11, 12, 16, and 41 please :)

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

Ooh hard to say. If the person is open to OC fics...then the Morgan Wells AU and my Lucy Kenobi AU. Especially since those are being actively written, and have been for a while, so you can chart my growth as a writer through them 😅

If they're not...then maybe "the little things (give you away)". It's Iris-centric, explores her feelings, explores Savitar a little more deeply...all of which might as well be part of my brand at this point 😅

Ooh also "come in, the water is(n't) fine"—I feel like it introduces me as a writer who's not afraid to write out-there/niche fic concepts, which is true! (The OC fics introduce that too, but this is an alternative for people who don’t like OC fics)

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

Canon Compliant, Title from a Taylor Swift Song, Canon Divergence, Father-Daughter Relationship, and Brother-Sister Relationships

Well...canon and I have a love-hate relationship—I align with their themes above all, then characterization, then plot. Usually my fics end up "canon nudged to the left". If I use the canon compliant tag, it usually means it isn't contradicted by canon, like it could be canon, but it's technically not (and might slightly contradict plot points or elements of characterization but still sticks to the themes). Canon compatible, if you will.

My titles come from all sorts of songs tbh, Taylor Swift’s songs are just easier to recall and that tag being “canonical” means it pops up more often in filtering.

Father-Daughter Relationship...absolutely. 100%. Morgan & Thawne (derogatory), Daniel & Sam, Harry & Jesse (not yet but in the future)...I do love them 🥰

Brother-Sister Relationships...well do I even have to say it 😂 Barry & Morgan and Lucy & Luke, my beloveds!! My brand!!

10. How do you decide what to write?

Honestly? It's wherever the muse leads. I get so many ideas, but...ideas are a dime a dozen. I figure out what I want to write based on which one I keep thinking about...and which one makes the words flow easier. Not much of a technical answer, sorry to say 😅 I just kinda go with the flow. The worst thing is trying to force your way through writing a fic—no one wins in that case.

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is?

Oooh I am very partial towards platonic pairings nowadays...mostly because my OC fics (which I'm currently writing) have those. So do most of my fics, really—gen takes center stage. I ofc do love writing Maiko when the muse strikes, and I've written a few ficlets for Westallen, Snowest, Barrisco, Thallen, Westhallen, etc. Though I hope to write a full fic for Westallen this year!

Honestly I think I drift to gen fic because that's why I came to AO3 😂 the filtering on other sites is horrendous, and gen fics are difficult to find categorized so neatly. I've always been more compelled by platonic relationships than romantic ones, even as I cling tightly to the ships I adore. There’s just so much there…and so much of deep platonic relationships gets them labeled romantic by fandom or is otherwise stripped away. Strong platonic relationships are my kryptonite 💞 I love them so much. Whether they’re loving, complicated…or whether they’re in some way unhealthy or tied to a corruption arc 👀

As for why I love the ships I love...well, Maiko is just very near and dear to my heart and always will be, Westallen is the amazing gold-standard couple of my dreams (and they make each other better!), and Snowest, Westhallen, and Barrisco are my non-canon sweethearts 🥰 Caitlin and Iris have so many interesting parallels (I started shipping them out of spite and then I got attached), Westhallen is the perfect ending to s1, and Barrisco...they're just sunshine personified, come on (and Cisco is practically Barry's second lightning rod anyway, lbr. Don't be surprised if I end up writing Barriscowest one day). And ofc the list of ships I love goes on—Percabeth might very well be written one day

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

Hmm...I don't know of any tropes I've ever disliked that I like now, but...I think I like villain redemption more than I used to. Partly because of Zuko's arc in ATLA being so well-done. The problem is that so many villain redemptions aren't done well—either the villain isn't fully redeemed but the story acts like they are, or the villain IS fully redeemed and their claws are filed down—they lose their edge. Both are bad iterations of this trope ✋ the best is Zuko's. He joins the team, atones by literally helping them take down his father...and he never loses his edge, he just softens a smidge toward them. Which is natural—they ARE his friends, but he's still HIM, he's still got his edge that makes the others think "man I'm glad he's on our side now"

16. What’s an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)?

Killer Frost Barry! I've read a few fics with this trope (see this tag if you wanna read them too!), and they’re all wonderful, but I want more. I loosely teased the idea of writing one (and in that case, I'd probably have Iris as the Flash because she's always my first choice for when Barry isn't the Flash), and...who knows? Maybe one day.

Same for Iris as the Flash in general tbh. Out of both of these ideas, this is the one I’m more likely to write—speedster Iris, my beloved 🥰

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

Oh absolutely "Mind, Body, Soul" by palaces_out_of_paragraphs. Aside from it being a Barry-comforts-Iris-after-the-Mirrorverse fic, my favorite genre...it's also so lyrical in its writing:

"Iris counts their breaths in and out, his ribcage softly rising and falling over hers like a song. And she loses herself in the way he feels so warm, even all these stories up in the air, that lightning-like heat from him glowing between them, sparkling under the darkening sky, bathing her body in warmth."

Absolutely gorgeous. I can't recommend it highly enough

fanfic writer ask game!

[omentranslates]

Owari no Seraph volume 31 author's afterword english fan translation

Hi hi hi! I'm a few days late, but since the volume itself won't be out in english for like a year hopefully I'm still good lol

For anyone who's curious now I hope this helps and thanks for reading!

"Afterword

I'm going talk spoilers a little, so people who skip to the afterword gotta back it up. Are you gone? Not yet? I told you to go back and read it!

As for everyone who's already read it, welcome to the new volume! Which is to say, I think this volume had a pretty sizeable lore drop. The fundamental basis of the work won't change volume to volume, but I really feel the beauty in them each being about their own battles. So then, we're returning to the modern day where all the paths converge, to see what all different choices will be made from within both the hope and despair that come with living only for the present! Starting from the next volume, things are really going to spark off, so I hope you'll all follow along!!!

There's also the matter, of course, of me attending the autograph event in Sapporo! It's been a while! I want to thank everyone, but as I say that I'm actually writing this afterword before heading to Hokkaido. Ever since I went on a weeklong roadtrip in Hokkaido, I've gotten excited whenever my plans take me back there. I'm also really looking forward to the day before because the previous and current manager have promised we'll eat some good food, but at that time I was asked by the previous manager to do my very best to take care of myself. If I'm going to be unhealthy, please do it the week BEFORE!

Will do! I wonder if it'll be easy or not! (lol). And thinking that gets us on the topic of musicians who play the big stages like the Tokyo Dome and how they might manage their health before that. I mean, the pressure must be incredible. To the point they'll do stuff like carrying a humidifier around with them, right? And here I am gulping down vitamin shakes in my pajamas, facing the desk tired out of my mind and with my heart racing from the caffeine. I really have to respect the type of person that can tackle the pressure of an outside-facing job.

Ok so, moving on, recently I've heard something I think is a matter of course, that if you don't tell the people you take for granted that you'll see all the time how much you appreciate and treasure them, they won't know, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to say what I mean quick. So with that, to all my readers, thank you for coming along up to this most recent volume! It's thanks to you all that I'm able to spend my days enjoyably.

I'd also like to thank Furuya-san for always providing the wonderful storyboards. Even though me and my late manuscripts cause nothing but trouble. Whenever I come up against a challenging situation, he's always saying "why didn't you tell me, we're friends aren't we?" and in those moments I'm completely overwhelmed with emotion. I'm excited to keep working with him. I think it's thanks to him that our team is so coordinated.

And I'd like to thank Yamamoto-san for the always beautiful manga. Even when I carelessly bang out grand scenes that are, to put it plainly, not made with artist's ease in mind, they always deliver. Or rather, it's their professionalism that makes me trust their ability to deliver that I'm always so thankful for. It's thanks to Yamamoto-san that Owari no Seraph shines the way it does. I think I've caused them some suffering with my late manuscripts, but I'll work even harder to do better from now on, so I'm excited to keep working with them as well.

It's already been 10 years for our team, out of the multiple tens of years humans tend to live. I'm grateful to everyone, and to that end I think it's a good idea to speak up and let them know. Truly, thank you so much. So with that, it's already time to put this next volume into overdrive. Everyone, please look forward to and support it!

Kagami Takaya"

[pisceanvixen]

The Grieving Stage

Grieving the lost of my father's presence in my life and my old self throughout this second pregnancy.

I've always thought that I had everything down to a science with my first pregnancy. I'm not just talking about the general every day life of being a mother, but the more intricate thoughts that dig deep inside our brains. I'm talking about the ability to parent another adorable tiny human being while you're attempting to parent yourself. The moments where I am teaching my daughter about the importance of boundaries, all while trying to teach myself the same things. The joy of making my daughter feel safe and open with me because I didn't receive that as a child growing up. The nights I spend awake thinking about whether or not I've been a "good mother" to her that day.... if I played enough with her or gave her enough nutritious meals. All the anxiety ridden days I spend at home while she's at school thinking about whether or not she's safe or if other kids are being mean to her. Is she protecting herself? Is she standing up for herself? Is she happy? What are her schools' protocols for lockdowns? Is it possible to have police on campus or somebody just in case of a shooting? All these anxiety ridden thoughts bombarding my brain as I attempt not only to regulate my own emotions, but teaching my daughter to do the same. All of this I'm learning as I go along with being a mother each day and now that I have a second little one on the way...I find myself redoing everything all over again. I thought that I had excommunicated all the unhealthy relationships in my life. I figured that I had healed from all the abuse, trauma, rumors, name-calling, gaslighting, and all the apologies that I never received. However, I've constantly stated that healing is never linear. The healing process will probably take me the rest of my life and I'm okay with acknowledging that fact. I just find it tough sometimes to come across to that realization in the moments where it is most present. I had recently prayed to Hina (The Hawaiian moon Goddess) about my healing journey on the night of the Super Blue Moon. I knew that once I asked my ancestors for more guidance on my journey that it was going to bring a lot of intense emotions and feelings about my past. I was very aware of this before I had asked for guidance, but didn't realize the weight of what I have asked. The emotions I felt were so incredibly intense, that I found myself crying for days. My emotions were pretty much all over the place. I was happy. I was angry. I was sad. I was grieving the woman I once was and the fact that she was never able to gain the love and attention she deserved. I was accepting my own wrongdoings. I was reliving the traumas and the aftermath that came with them. I was going through it.

As part of my grieving stage, I was reminded of how I chose not to have a relationship with my father. It's almost been a year since we've last spoken to one another. He hasn't congratulated me on my second daughter nor has he attempted to reach out to me to see how I've been doing. And one might ask, wasn't he at your wedding? Oh, yes...but believe me when I say that I truly and honestly, did not want him there. I only invited him because I wouldn't have been able to see my two younger siblings if I didn't and I wanted them both there on my special day. I can write an entire novel of why I didn't want him there that day, but the most disgusting reason as to why is because he told me that if my daughter were to ever get raped, then it would be my fault because of the way I raised her. And something like that, cut me so deeply.

It wasn't because he was attacking my parenting skills, I could give less of a flying fuck about that. It's because I knew he would never be able to protect my daughter. He would always be a misogynistic self righteous asshole that he was before. That same night, he asked me what I DID to deserve being raped? What I wore or what I did to tempt the man into thinking I wanted to have sex at all. He was never on my side. He was never there to protect me, love me, or comfort me in the ways that I knew I deserve. And with that in mind, I still allowed him to see Ku'ulei a couple times a year... out of guilt and the fucked up reasoning of wanting a relationship with my father. However, I should have known better because my daughter was never comfortable around him. I should have been a better mother to understand that she was telling me that she was not comfortable around this person and I constantly put her in that predicament. It's not fair to her and it's not fair to me. I will no longer be doing such things for the comfortability of others. He does not deserve to see my beautiful daughters. He does not deserve to have access to them. He does not deserve access to me.

Like I've said, it's been a year since we've last spoken and I've had no desire to rekindle that toxic relationship. I've deserted the idea that having a grandfather in Ku'ulei's life isn't actually that important. She has my stepfather and she has Avery's father. She has my grandparents who love and adore her to death. The people who actually try to see my daughter are the ones who deserve access to her. The ones who nurture and cherish her growth in the same ways I do, not tear her down. He hasn't congratulated me on this second pregnancy. He hasn't checked up on me. And that's okay. It doesn't mean I don't still cry about it sometimes. It doesn't mean that I'm not saddened by the fact that i didn't have a good father. I still get sad. I still get angry at times. My husband knows this and he finds every opportunity he can to reassure me that as that little girl, I deserved so much more then what I was given. He apologizes to me that I didn't get the love, protection, and nurturing environment that a father should provide for his daughters. The funny thing is is that Avery doesn't know how much watching him with our daughter actually heals this part of me. It brings me so much pure happiness and peace to see how he is with Ku'ulei. It makes my soul feel at ease knowing that she will have the father that she deserves. Even if it isn't possible for me, it's possible for my daughter to grow up in a household that is filled with so much love. A little oasis where she can feel safe and nurtured by two parents who want nothing more then her happiness and confidence to grow. I can finally say that I am able to create the life I've longed for and have been manifesting for so many years. I can provide my daughters with the love, compassion, understanding, emotional stability, and security that I didn't receive growing up.

Despite it all, I am so lucky to have this little family of mine. I'm at a place in my life where I am able to finally breathe. A place where I feel safe. A place that I can finally call a home with a beautiful family that I've built for myself.

[boriqidi]

Good Date Tips

Bestdatingsiteshere.com

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Bestdatingsiteshere.com

So here are your date tips, which can be mainly for the earliest date.

First important things first you got to help plan for the first night out. Why, because you would want to go on to start dating ? with someone who has not necessarily made an effort ın any way would you. Let me ensure that you get an example. Imagine when your date was a good vegetarian and you resulted in at a steakhouse. You not going to end up scoring any advantage points now think you're. So do certain research about a date.

Dress to help you impress, If you know what your location is going for your day. Dress accordingly, by way of example if your heading to some sort of restaurant, don't get there in some baggy tight pants or skirts and a t-shirt. Just like in the first meeting tips i afforded you, make an effort. When your date turns up in a very nice dress plus some heels and considers you in all those baggy jeans, properly put it this way a person's not going to get welcomed into opened arms.

Oh when you get dressed absorb your personal hygiene. Unhealthy breath and some unhealthy body odour merely tells your wedding date "I cannot be bothered" So before you go make certain to brush your pearly white's and have a wash.

Always bring something special of some sort for ones date. A bunch of attractive flowers is always a sexy touch, yeah it's the old incredibly dull thing to do, but sup it works together with my advice remain faithful to the date recommendations that work. In the event you still think i'm talking about old fashioned then what about a box of chocolate might tempt ones date.

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So i was hoping that you uncovered these date suggestions helpful. Just so that you know i can be writing an article soon enough about second night out ideas, so I undertake hope I will be capable to help you out with that too but for now appreciate your date in addition to use these tips perfectly.

The first date is going to be an interview, excrete that and you possess girl my friend. Your names Simon Anderson and like you, We was after day tips and following answer of just what do women look for attractive in fellas. I have a weblog set up dedicated to getting advice when it comes to gals. No I'm never no love community i just know a lot of stuff. Anyways we invite you to consider my blog along with leave comments and so on Also mail myself and I will be allowed to send you a few free stuff thank you.

[chengxians]

I truly am in deep with this hyperfixation and I am making it everyone's problem.

Yes! Please keep me updated when you get to that point because I want all of your perspective! Since I haven't read most of the book (just a few scenes to verify certain things) I wanna know if it's as chaotic in the books and if you liked the changes!

LWJ's individual arc is actually something I really enjoyed. WY did a really good job playing it out, from someone who believes wholeheartedly in the rules because his mother died for it so he has to because if he doesn't then does anything matter? and then WWX bursts through the door with like the most minimal but important rules and throughout the story, he learns the difference between doing what's right and doing what's just and when each has its place and its wonderful. I do think that LWJ definitely had more wiggle room to help but that's a convo for another time (and maybe a meta I might write later). And the three months in-between with JC where like JC is a sect leader of a pretty much dead sect and he still makes the time to search for his brother (which is like the 3rd time JC picked WWX over his sect) and he loves him. And then he watches them split and wonders why when they love each other. And knows that JC loves WWX. And LWJ loves WWX too. And there's so much!

I, too, adore W@ngChengX!an! There are so many ways they balance eachother! ChengX!an pre-canon and the angst during the SSC, W@ngX!an during Cloud Recesses, Zh@ncheng after WWX leaves and LWJ wants to learn more about WWX and just learns more about JC too (NHS knows all and introduces them bc I'm always a huge fan of the LXC and NMJ playdates with the baby bros), the three months in between, the 13-16 years in between! The jealousy, the angst, the potential! I could go on for days! (I'm actually planning to do an AllCheng agenda post with various ships and dynamics and ideas because while I can't write fic for shit, I can headcanon my days away).

Their perspectives balance out too! WWX thinks in the broadest perspective of what is Wrong and What is Right, JC is the mid-ground perspective of what are the long-term implcations in society, can it impact how we do other things and how can we plan around it and LWJ (now) thinks of the individual, based on their merit and who they are and becomes less judgemental as a result. I think that's mainly why I don't ship W@ngX!an as much as I could have. But the three of them together have way more going for it (also I have a very specific headcanon that WWX does the flute, LWJ plays the guqin and JC sings the lyrics for WuJi since I feel like a grumpy grape like him must be great at slam poetry and lyrics).

Maybe its because I know that they way my loved ones show that they care is because the question me. They care enough to confront me, to meddle, to ask, to let me rant and help me find my way to the choice that's best for me. So even in the most enabling and unhealthy fics I read, I always want that. The "I will side with you, always, but I want you to know my side too." The vulnerability of opening up and showing what the implications are. The messy fights, the yelling, the poking at soft spots is something I will always want to see.

Like one of my fav scenes is when JC confronts WWX before they decide to stage the fight for this reason! Like you see where their priorities lie and that they both have valid perspectives for the positions they're in but they come to the slow realization that they can't have it all. And WWX I think does want to leave, he doesn't want to pretend he's okay and he doesn't want to spend a second more fronting for the sake of YMJ because he's done enough, fulfilled his debts and he wants a little break before even attempting to come back home (Burial Mounds doesn't sound like a good long-term solution but I also don't think he expected to live long).

LXC is definitely an enabler but I think it's also similar to JYL's response to trauma. And he does like so much for LWJ because he put all his love for his parents and family on his brother (gives me a lot of Itachi and Sasuke vibes but less extreme and with less trauma). So, similar to JC and WWX, when LWJ tells him something in a sure tone, LXC believes it.

Like considering demonic cultivation and resentful energy are so harmful (look at the Nies), it would be like if you're brother came to you and told you that he did some crack and now has superpowers after disappearing for months and you believe him because if WWX told JC the stars were falling, JC would have run for cover without looking at the sky. Like, the amount this man trusts WWX is insane. It might have been despiration but also he knows if anyone can do it, it's his Shixiong. And every scene, he asks, he asks WWX to clarify, to let him know, to let him and I just can't with these boys.

Wang Zhuocheng will always impress me because this was essentially his break out role! And the intro scene where LJY mentions that JC killed WWX so why is he checking in MXY? The flashbacks with his family and how much he yearns to keep them together but we know that its gonna fall apart! And his interactions with Jin Ling (who also did an amazing job in the role) were perfect despite the actors being like one year apart in age! Just all of it was so good and I will never not be impressed!

Sorry for the essays! Just really excited about the Untamed and I have a lot to gush about.

this has been in my inbox for ages bc i just kept reading it over and over because op. (kisses your brain) Wow. your meta is actually so fucking good and i am sliding you five american dollars to continue sending me essays about anything and nothing

your characterization (perception of their characterization??) lines up perfectly with mine and tbh you put it in better words than i could. i just. i dont even have words for this bc im just In Awe that someone can word this good

im gonna post this without much comment and followers…..begging u to read this…..op’s brain is so so so big and i adore every single thing about this little essay

[mental-health-advice]

hey, i need some advice. a few months ago, i made a friend online. we sped through the stages of friendship in a few days, but i had an underlying anxious feeling the whole time. looking back, it was probably because he was very clingy (i felt like i had to be there for him 24/7) and rude to me. he would call me dumb or stupid as a joke, but they still hurt my feelings, and he made sexual comments about me that made me really uncomfortable. i wanted to ask him to stop, but i didn't have any other friends in my life and i was scared of losing him, even though i was somewhat aware that he wasn't good for me.

r eally soon after we started talking, he told me he liked me romantically. i did not feel the same way, but i was so scared of making him upset i had that i lied to him and convinced myself i did. i felt constantly sick after that, and soon i told him that i was wrong and i didn't feel the same way. he was understandably upset, it made talking to him even more uncomfortable for me.

i was still feeling really anxious all the time as a result of talking to him, and i told him that i was going to stop being so active online to focus on other things, as i had been neglecting nearly everything in my life to be there for him. he was upset about that too and would send messages like "i miss you" and "i wish we could talk more" that made me feel guilty when i was doing anything other than talking to him. i told him that, but he didn't stop.

i wished i had never become his friend and wanted to cut him off completely. i wasn't sleeping much and was feeling horrible this whole time, and really wanted to just disappear and be forgotten. eventually, i decided to just do it, and i blocked him and deleted any accounts that he could contact me on and haven't heard from him since.

i had hoped that i could just forget about it and move on, i feel like i'm overreacting when i have panic attacks over this. i feel like i was the problem, and like i was making a big deal out of nothing because he was well-intentioned. i hate the idea that he knows i exist and might mention me to other people. i overshared a lot while we were still talking and he knows way more about me than i'm comfortable with, and i'm paranoid he might share that information with people, even if i'd never find out about it and he couldn't effectively link it to me as he only knows my first name. we also video called a few times, and the idea that he could have pictures of my face really upsets me.

i feel like i shouldn't care, but i worry that i made him sad, and that by disappearing i impacted his mental health. i'm not sure if i made the right decision. talking to him wasn't good for me, i know that, but he wasn't mean all the time. we had fun together at some points, but i think overall it was a negative experience for me, but a positive one for him, as i was so desperate for approval that i would basically do anything he wanted and completely formed my schedule around him.

i'm really caught up in what i feel like i should have done. i think the right thing to do would have been to tell him some of these things before disappearing, but i wasn't really thinking sensibly at the time and instead panicked and disappeared. i've seen a lot of posts about how ghosting someone is terrible and never the right thing to do, which just makes me feel even worse.

i don't have anyone to talk to about this, my parents have specifically told me to never make friends online and i don't have any close friends in real life. even if i did have someone to talk to, i'd be embarrassed about it because i got myself into this situation in the first place and handled it horribly, and it's a dumb thing to be so worked up about.

in general, i don't know how to handle my feelings about the situation and feel better again. i know i can't live life constantly upset about something that happened several months ago, with someone who lives thousands of miles away who i'll hopefully never hear from again, but i don't know how to stop.

i feel so anxious that i am in a lot of physical pain and feel really nauseous. i can't sleep, and am exhausted to the point that i can't do anything. i've tried everything i know, regulated breathing, grounding exercises, distracting myself with things i like, etc but nothing has worked. i made a lot of bad decisions and i don't know how to move on from them.

Hey lovely,

Making friends online can be wonderful, but I’ve also had the experience that it can become quite dependent and therefore not healthy anymore. As with any other friendship, online friendships can go both ways!

It sounds like your friendship turned unhealthy. Having to be there for someone 24/7 isn’t healthy and isn’t good for the friendship, or for you! And jokes like that are only hurtful and not funny whatsoever. I’m sorry that you didn’t feel like you could stand up for yourself at that time. You definitely deserved to have stood up, but I really do understand why you didn’t feel like you could.

I think it’s really good that you eventually told him you weren’t romantically interested in him. It might have upset him, but it had to come out eventually and the sooner the better. It wasn’t fair on either of you to have kept things going. So well done!

I also think it’s really good that you tried to set a boundary by telling him that you wouldn’t be online as much anymore. That’s honestly a great step. He should have respected that boundary and shouldn’t have made you feel bad about it.

And I think you made a good call in blocking him and deleting those accounts. Like I said, your friendship sounds like it wasn’t healthy and setting boundaries hadn’t helped before, so this was a good next step to take.

I don’t think you’re overreacting at all! This was a difficult time for you and it’s bound to have its effects on you. But please take it from me: you weren’t the problem! From what you’ve outlined, he was very clingy and dependent and that can take its toll on a friendship.

Unfortunately you can’t change him knowing you and knowing information about you. I think that’s something that will take some time getting used to, but I believe you can get there! Since it is affecting you a lot, I do think it would be helpful to speak to a counsellor or other mental health professional about.

You are not responsible for his mental health. Maybe it upset him, you don’t know that. But in the end, you are your first priority. Staying in this friendship would have hurt you, and that is not okay and should be prevented! You need to take care of yourself first and foremost.

Did you find it helpful to type this out and write to us? I can imagine that it might have felt like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Maybe you could try something like this more often? It doesn’t have to be an ask to us, but can also be a journal entry, or something you write down and then tear up or burn. Whatever feels best for you!

I hope this helped. Let us know if there’s anything else we can be of help with.

Sometimes what seems impossible, is just hard. Love Pauline

[v-hope]

Someone speaks badly about you on a show

—and they defend you, ofc.

Pairings: OT7 x Reader

Genre: I guess fluff for default, angst

Request by @ally22042000: "Hey, I saw that request for reactions are open. Can I have one with the boys ( just Yoongi and JK if all of them are to much), where they are at an award show or interview or something like that and someone talks disrespectfull about the reader? Thx so much💜 and have a nice day."

A/N: I hope this is what you had in mind, I enjoyed writing these 💕 Also, you're an idol in a couple of them and in the rest you're not. I hope you like it!

Kim Seokjin

Your boyfriend absolutely lived for whenever he got asked to be an MC at award shows.

So, naturally, he was very hyped up once he was handed his lines and had to go up on stage with two other idols – one of them being his good friend of many years, and the other one being a new artist who had debuted last year.

It was simple. Read the cards. Just read the goddamn paper notes you had been given and that was it. But, apparently, the idol by his side was way too new to this whole thing, for instead of reading what he had been handed to, he fixed his eyes on Jin to his side.

"Thank God I got to be with the fun one of your relationship".

Seokjin's eyes went to lock with his out of instinct, having not really processed what had just happened yet.

"The fun one?" his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah" the idol nodded his head. "Y/N would've made this so boring".

Jin glanced for a brief second to his friend, as if to verify he had heard just the same and his mind wasn't making it up – his awkward expression itself doing that for him.

Nonetheless, as much as he wanted to snap at him, he decided to be the better one, maybe just because he knew he was still live and didn't want to make a scene right in front of everyone.

That didn't stop him from putting him in his place though.

"Then you clearly haven't had the pleasure to meet her and witness her high class humour" Jin spoke into the camera, later placing his eyes on his friend. "Don't you think, hyung-nim?"

"I have never laughed harder than with her, Seokjin-ssi" he replied immediately.

And then out of nowhere, Jin dug his hand in his pocket, throwing multiple heart shaped red papers that had everyone screaming in a second. "Love you, baby. Don't let anyone tell you you're not funny".

What's the saying? Kill 'em with kindness? Well, Seokjin had just slayed that poor guy's soul.

Min Yoongi

"Hey, it's BTS!" the MC greeted cheerfully once the seven guys came on the shot.

One by one, they went up to her to give her a quick hug before they took their place standing next to her.

Up until then, everything was fine, and maybe things would've remained that way if she had just said nothing after Yoongi hugged her. Instead, she laughed, catching him off guard.

"At least you are polite" she shook her head in amusement.

Yoongi pouted naturally because of his confusion. "Who of us hasn't been polite?"

"Oh, no. Not you" she shook her head one more time, only to clarify: "Your girlfriend".

"Y/N-ssi?" Hobi was the one to ask on his hyung's behalf, being just as puzzled as everyone else by that statement.

At the nod of confirmation coming from the MC, Yoongi brought the microphone up to his lips. "But you've never even met her, where'd you get that from?"

"The video of her not even looking at the paps taking pictures... when you were at the airport the other day".

Yoongi's hold on the mic tightened, suddenly becoming protective of you. "So just because she's a private person she's impolite?"

"She didn't even acknowledge your fans. Come on, that was just very–"

"She's not an idol" he cut her off. "She doesn't have to put up with all of this, especially when she's not comfortable with all the attention".

"She should've known this would happen when she decided to date you".

"Guys…" Namjoon tried to stop both of them from arguing any further, for they had apparently forgotten they were still live.

But Yoongi was already done, slightly shaking his head before he put an end to it for once and for all: "She's given up enough for me already, I'm not asking her to be all bubbly around paps or our fans when she clearly isn't comfortable with it. If that's impolite to you then go off, I guess, but I'm the one dating her and I know better".

On to the next topic now.

Jung Hoseok

"Hoseok!" the girl interviewing them read effusively on her phone.

They had been interviewed person by person that day, since a few influencers had gotten the chance to record short clips with BTS to upload to their social media. This one, so far, had been one of their favourites, for its dynamics consisted in nothing but the young woman going through her Twitter reading fan questions or just letting them know about cute comments they had made.

However, that was soon to change when she caught Hobi's attention, continuing: "I loved you in the concert last week, I got to meet Y/N and she was the cu– oh, irrelevant much?" she mumbled with a small, breathy laugh, before dismissing the topic and scrolling down in search of another tweet.

Hoseok's eyebrows knitted together. "Wha–"

"Oh, here's a good one" she smiled as if nothing had happened, as if she had not heard him; having the seven men exchange uncomfortable glances. "Jimin, you and your girlfriend are such couple goals, I can't w–"

"Um…" Hoseok cut her off, stealing a quick glance to Jimin, who looked just as out of it, before his eyes fell back on the girl's. "How come Jimin's girlfriend is worth talking of and mine isn't?"

"She's an idol" she answered as if it was evident.

His jaw tightened. "So people are only worthy when they're famous now?"

"Well, no..." she uselessly tried to fix it.

"Then I believe you should respect her enough not to call her irrelevant or skip comments at the mention of her".

"But there's nothing interesting about Y/N anyway, so…"

That was all Hobi needed to turn his head to look at his members before he shook his head in defeat. "We're done here, guys. I'm not listening to any more of this nonsense".

Neither were they, which is why they were all soon to follow your boyfriend out of there.

Kim Namjoon

"So, Namjoon-ah" the entertainer's eyes focused on him, "I watched a few pictures of you at your girlfriend's graduation the other day" he smiled. "You guys looked so cute!"

A big smile spread over Joon's lips, recalling the pride he had felt that day because of you, being the happiest to have been able to be there for you.

"Aw, thank you" he said truthfully, his dimples making their appearance. "I'm really proud of her".

"You are?" the man asked.

Now, there were two ways to say those words. One with a genuinely intrigued tone, and one that was looking to offend. In this case, given not only his tone but also the way his eyebrows had raised in impression, it had been clear to everyone present that his intention had been the latter.

"I am" he stated simply, hoping that would be as much as the host would say about the topic before he moved on to the next one.

It was not.

"Don't you ever wish you were with someone more successful though?"

Namjoon's jaw tightened visibly, his eyes turning colder. "What does that even mean?"

"I'm just saying, you're Kim Namjoon" the man shifted on his seat. "Worldwide known idol, producer, rapper… whereas she's just… ordinary".

The way he had said that last word made it seem like being like that was the worst of things, and Namjoon did not like it one bit.

"Her achievements are just as important as mine" he was fast to talk in your defence. "Just because she isn't a part of the idol industry doesn't mean her dreams and passions are any less worthy of recognition than mine".

That alone had the interviewer apologising in a second, realising then how bad he had messed up. Because, in all honesty, Namjoon couldn't really care any less about you being famous or not – he would always be proud of you and your achievements no matter what.

Park Jimin

"Ah, Park Jimin!" the host exclaimed after a picture of you had popped up on the screen in between them. "You really got lucky with this one, didn't you?"

That sure did bring a bright smile to his lips, for he absolutely lived for these moments, when people acknowledged how beautiful you were.

Nonetheless, that smile of his was soon erased when the same guy added: "You should control her more, though".

With that and a frown adorning your boyfriend's face, the picture previously displaying on the screen was gone and replaced with one of you in a night dress from two days ago instead.

"Control her more?" Jimin asked through gritted teeth.

"Yeah" he nodded his head. "She has a boyfriend now, she can't go around looking that hot, it might get the wrong attention".

Now, Jimin himself hadn't really liked it when you went out dressed like that, but he was your boyfriend, so he did have some kind of right to feel a little jealous of other guys thirsting over his girlfriend when she was out alone with her friends, didn't he?

This guy, however? Neither what he said was appropriate on so many levels, nor did he have the right to talk about you and your outfit like that.

"I think you should think before you speak and induce people to have unhealthy relationships" your boyfriend spoke in a low, calm voice.

Controlling you? What kind of bullshit was that?

"Come on now, I was joking" the man brushed it off with a laugh, and a very nervous one at that.

"Were you really?" Jimin raised one of his eyebrows, not believing a word. "Even if you were" he went on before the guy could open his mouth to reply, "you should maybe reflect on yourself and, instead of telling me how to treat my girlfriend because of how provocative she looks, think of why you, a guy who's over his forties, thinks that way of someone who could easily be his daughter".

He had not been rude. He had not raised his voice. Yet he did somehow manage to look so fucking scary to the man in front.

Kim Taehyung

"Y/N?" the interviewer asked in disbelief, only to scoff after receiving a nod of confirmation from Tae. "Of course she'd end up with one of you guys".

Not only did Taehyung's eyebrows furrow in that moment, but so did everyone else's – his members exchanging dumbfounded looks as your boyfriend looked to the guy in front dead in the eye.

"One of us?"

"Mhm" the guy replied simply. "She always seems to be with whoever is the most famous at the moment, so..." he shrugged.

"She's only been with other two people?" Taehyung raised one of his eyebrows.

"Who just so happened to be the moment's sensation" he reminded him. "And now she's with you".

"You can't help who you fall for" your boyfriend's stare became colder by the second.

"She's just going to break things off with you as soon as your moment of fame passes".

That was it.

"Okay, no" his voice came out like pure venom. "If she broke up with them, it's merely because they were both complete assholes to her".

"Taehyung…" Namjoon discreetly squeezed his wrist from his side.

"No, hyung" he shook his head before fixing his enraged eyes back on the interviewer. "She's the sweetest person there is, it's not her fault us guys fall for her. And it's not her fault either to have dated guys who don't deserve her. She did well to dump them, and I know she won't leave me just because of my fame's status".

And then, as everyone in the room remained silent, being absolutely perplexed by such situation, he shook his head in disappointment once again at the sight of the guy's desperate attempt to come up with something else to say.

"You know" he beat him to it, "for such an overrated interviewer, you are so goddamn misinformed".

Good thing this would get bleeped out by the editors later, that if they ever wanted this to air at all.

Jeon Jeongguk

"It's been a while since we last were together, hasn't it?" the host spoke after they had all sat down on the sofa placed in front of her. "A lot has happened since then…" a cheeky grin curved up her lips when her eyes fell on Jeongguk, "like the maknae finally getting himself a girlfriend?"

A shy bunny smile didn't wait to part Guk's lips, meanwhile his six hyungs started being chaotic like they, by this point, always were.

"He did" Namjoon was the one to answer for him, fondly patting his shoulder.

"Well, congratulations! It was about time you got someone" the woman said with a smile. "Though I must admit I never thought I'd see you with someone like her".

Your boyfriend's previous smile was replaced by slightly parted lips. "Someone like her?"

"I mean" the woman tried to get her point across, "you've said multiple times that IU is your ideal type, and Y/N's just…" she scrunched her nose in a displeased manner, "she's not exactly…"

Oh, no. There was no way in hell Jeongguk was letting her finish that sentence; the idea itself making him mad. That was the reason his shy side was long gone, being replaced by his protective one instead, which had quickly taken over him.

"She's stunning" Guk spoke in a low, determined voice. "IU is just a celebrity crush. Y/N's the woman I am in love with" he established without hesitation. "I really don't understand why you're bringing this up".

Although taken aback by Jeongguk's sudden way with his words, not having expected such outburst coming from the quietest member when it came to interviews, the woman went on:

"I'm just sayin–"

"No" Guk cut her off, shaking his head hastily, "you have nothing to say about my preferences, you don't get a say on us".

End of conversation.

[rayshippouuchiha]

Oh man.... Toni/Bucky, Carol/Rhodey or Kakashi/Naruto? Ino/Sakura too if you want to explore that idea. I'm not picky, you do The Good Writing™ for everything

Oh man this got away with me and we didn’t get any Kakashi/Naruto actual content but I did set up an entirely new AU that’s similar to some of my others but with a few twists.

For this scenario I think maybe it should all be Shisui and Itachi’s fault.  Although Itachi maintains he only had a ... very small hand in the entire debacle.

See since the coup never happens the village is way more stable. And, thanks to that, Shisui and Itachi both eventually end up transferring out of ANBU.

Itachi becomes an elite Jounin and takes up his training as future Clan Head.  There’s also rumors, much to Itachi’s despair, that he’s being considered for Hokage since the Sandaime is getting seriously old and Kakashi is notoriously uninterested.

Shisui, cause he’s a solid 6 on the Uchiha How Much Of A Dick Are You? Scale eventually decides that he needs a protege, someone to pass on his Will of First Of All Fuck You to, so he goes “huh let’s get some kids” and turns up all “yo, i want babies” at the prospective Jounin-sensei meeting.

Sarutobi, much to most people’s horror, agrees.

So Shisui ends up getting the most annoying, adorable, impossibly perfect team ever.

There’s his adorable gremlin of a cousin Sasuke.  Kid’s got an unhealthy obsession with swords and fire and is basically a walking, talking brother complex.  Just like a proper Uchiha.  It’s adorable.

There’s Sakura Haruno who is .... Shisui’s not really sure what she is but she switches between sweet and proper and cackling like Anko at the drop of a hat and it’s delightfully terrifying.  He starts calling her sweet side Pink Sakura and her other side Red Sakura, because yeah he’s pretty sure she’s got a split personality and not naming them both would just be rude.  Either way both Sakuras have a punch like a horse’s kick and that’s when they’re not even trying.

And then, last but totally not least, there’s his final student.

Shisui’s Holy Grail if you will.

Naruto Uzumaki, the Kyubi container, and worst kept secret in the entire village.

The kid is loud, somehow viciously cheerful, deviously sweet, has ungodly amounts of chakra even without the Biju factoring in, has an obsession with making things go boom, shows up in a kimono or as a girl roughly 50% of the time, and has a deeply embedded sense of Gotta Go Real Fast.

All things that Shisui both respects and appreciates.

But the most important thing is, in Shisui’s opinion, the fact that Naruto is the possessor of the biggest Fuck You Very Much I Do What I Want attitude Shisui has seen since Minato-sama and Kushina-hime were alive.

So, overall, Shisui and his team are a match made in the deepest, darkest, most glorious pits of hell.

The training Shisui puts them through, with Itachi being their honorary 2nd sensei, is whispered about for years to come.

They make Chunin in 6 months and Shisui, backed by his gremlins, just straight up tells the Hokage thatif he tries to break Team Shisui up they’ll stage a revolt and flee Konoha together for a life on the run where they’ll devote all of their time to making the lives of Konoha shinobi, and the Sandaime in particular, horrible for decades to come until they inevitably conquer and/or destroy the world in a blaze of glory.

Considering that Team Shisui consists of not 1 but basically 3 Uchiha (because Itachi would totally follow his best friend and little brother), whatever the hell Haruno turned out to be, and NARUTO Sarutobi takes them seriously.

They become a permanent squad.

By the time Shinsui’s gremlins are 16 they’re Jounin and have entries in every Bingo book to be found.

Naruto is well on the way to earning a Flee On Sight rank just like Minato-sama.

Shinsui couldn’t be prouder.  Despite the fact that there’s only a handful of years between them he’s pretty sure he feels almost father levels of pride for his gremlins.

That is until the romance bug goes around hard.

Sakura, to Shisui’s ever lasting awe and horror ends up focused on both Ino and possibly Rock Lee.  Shisui’s not really sure.  He just knows there’s a lot of flowers changing hands, a lot of punching being done, both Sakuras keep cackling, and Lee won’t stop screaming.

Shisui’s about 60% sure that Sasuke is gonna end up with Naruto because there’s some kind of obsession there between those two.  But that ends pretty quickly when Shisui realizes that Sasuke’s brother complex kind of pales in comparison of his new found “Keep Naruto Pure” complex.

Kiba makes one off color joke about Naruto’s new kimono looking better on Kiba’s floor and well .... let’s just say Shisui didn’t know Sasuke was a biter but Kiba does end up spending a good week in the hospital.

Honestly Shisui can’t really find fault in that either though, especially since he and the Sakuras take such delight in winding Sasuke up and urging him on.  Although they are both protective of Naruto too.

Naruto, despite a shitty childhood or maybe because of it, is precious.

Which is, of course, when Itachi slides up with a truly awful idea sometime post Kiba’s mauling.

“You know,” Itachi says softly, “Naruto has such a .... magnetic effect on others.  Look at how protective my sweet little brother is.”

Shisui does in fact know this.  He also knows Sasuke, who he has now seen actively chew on a fellow Konoha nin, is absolutely the sweetest.

“I think he’d be just the thing to brighten up and ground some of our more .... unstable comrades,” Itachi says casually.  “Naruto might even find his match there since we all know his peers aren’t ... equipped to handle him.”

Shisui agrees but he’s also not fooled.

Everyone might think otherwise but Shisui knows the truth.

Unlike Shisui’s solid and respectable 6, Itachi, despite being a pacifist, was born a firm 7 on the Uchiha How Much Of A Dick Are You? Scale.

“Who did you have in mind?”  Shisui asks but he’s pretty sure he already knows.

Itachi smiles.

Somewhere in the village Kakashi gets a chill up his spine.

Naruto, of course, takes Itachi and Shisui’s attempts to put him in Kakashi’s path with grace and good humor.

Sasuke takes one look at Kakashi’s orange book and looses his entire mind.

Kakashi isn’t sure what he did to deserve Minato-sensei’s entirely too attractive and entirely too strong kid stalking him, or his rabid Uchiha trying to kill him, but it doesn’t seem to be ending anytime soon.

Plus, about six months in, Kakashi thinks he might be having Emotions(TM) of the decidedly romantic nature and he does not care for that shit at all.  This is why he avoided doing more than watching over Naruto here and there when Naruto was a kid.  He can’t afford these kinds of attachments, especially not of the romantic nature, and Naruto is entirely too easy to get attached to.

In turn Naruto doesn’t care about him not caring.  Once Naruto latches on he latches on hard.  And Kakashi has his complete and total attention.

Shisui thinks it’s all adorable.

Sarutobi is kind of delighted honestly.  Kakashi is a bit older yes but it’s not so unusual in their lifestyle.  Naruto would be good for him and vice versa.  Plus Kushina had always wanted Kakashi to be family, Minato too.  Marriage would make that happen.

Meanwhile Itachi’s in the background silently gleeful because if Kakashi would have just accepted the hat none of this would have happened.  Itachi’s revenge is both sweet and Naruto shaped.

Now Kakashi will inevitably end up in the Hokage’s office anyways.  Either wearing the hat himself or as Naruto’s trophy husband.

If Sasuke doesn’t kill him first.

Either way it serves him right.

[loftec]

oh no, i tripped and dropped these numbers in your inbox! so sorry!! 8, 10, 15! (also, i misread 40, and now i'm wondering if you ever played with any alternate titles for None the Wiser?)

Oh no! What a mess we’ve made of this, memes and numbers all over the place, welp, guess we don’t have a choice but sit on the floor and procrastinate for a bit.

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

These questions are always the hardest, I can never decide. But here’s one!

Ian smiles at him for a full five seconds before he tilts his chin up in a slight nod. “You like it.”

“Not sure how smart it is to keep using the fact that I’m into you as an insult,” Mickey points out, “but okay.”

“Not an insult,” Ian says, “just a reminder.”

Mickey scoffs, holding the cigarette between two fingers as he rubs his thumb along the side of his mouth. “Like I’m gonna forget.”

It’s from chapter 43 of NTW and my favourite thing about this is how they’re finally on the same page and talking about the same thing, but Mickey's still not completely comprehending that Ian is right there with him. Ian is like “You like me! This is new and amazing and I like reminding myself of this fact because it’s been so long and I never thought it would happen!” and Mickey’s like, “yeah well trying to insult me by pointing out that I like you seems like a backwards way of flirting but what the hell, guess I’m in it now.”

I sometimes struggle with wanting to explain too much, of wanting my characters to communicate too much. When I read, I really enjoy little moments like these were two people can talk past each other and still be OK. It’s like I get to have a secret with Ian, even though I’m in Mickey’s head. Dunno, hope that made some sense!

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

I think actually that might be Shine? I just really remember having an idea, writing down an outline, not knowing what to do with it, going out for a long walk and sorting it out in like an hour, and then going straight home to write it in more or less one sitting. It helped that I was unemployed at the time and spent an unhealthy amount of time writing and escaping reality. But Shine also has more of a stream-of-consciousness thing going on, which flows differently than when I’m focused on getting the voice right or struggling to fill the gaps between everything I know I want to write, which I think is the thing that mostly makes writing not easy for me.

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

I mean I do want that obnoxious real time NTW series, but I don’t know who that’d be for, except myself and a couple of you beautiful weirdos.

Misread 40. Alternate titles for None the wiser?

I think I must have workshopped it a little bit? But I honestly can’t remember. I also didn’t keep any of my notes back then, the way I do now, so I can’t go back and check. I don’t think I had many other viable options though, since the song None the wiser got involved at such an early stage of planning, before I’d even written anything.