#(and also realizing that the kid who wants to hide didnt die with the house so I'm gonna have to stop him from rebuilding it every single

[pathetic-gamer]

I know it's like. one minute long, but Look Who's Inside Again makes me cry every goddamn time. yeah man I was a kid stuck in his room. i did try any old shit to get out of it. and after all that? yeah dude. yeah. you bet your fuckin ass I found reasons to hide again.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

So I finally had a chance to watch this movie.

For this review I think I will divide it into different categories

Animation

Plot

Flow

Heroes

Villains

Moral

For those of you haven’t seen the movie at this point (Spoilers below)

Animation

I need to get this out of the way right now. I LOVE the trend of Stylization in these animated films. Dreamworks really finding its niche with it. It makes the movies pop and gives the characters more emotion and feeling. Not going with the Make it more realistic vibe that other companies are doing. The set pieces are gorgeous and I absolutely adored the opening battle with Puss and the giant. But what really showed the chops of the beautiful animation was the Dark Forrest and how it changed depending on who held the map.

My Only complaint is the sudden frame rate drops in action scenes. Now its not enough to ruin them, and you know its because they want to capture the badassery of the scene. But its noticeable. 

Solid 9/10

-_______________________________________________

Plot

This is a simple plot. Puss in boots finds himself on his last life after his most recent battle and goes into retirement after a close brush with death. Once he finds out that there is a wishing star where he can get his lives back, he goes out on an adventure to get the wish.

It is a simple premise and that what allow it to be great. Puss never thought much of death as he was a cat and cats have nine lives. It was after finding out he died 8 times already that the concept of his life being over dawns on him. Though at first, he is in denial about it, going to have a drink and not think about it, only to come face to face with a bounty hunter that puts the fear of death in him.

Puss felt the touch of a blade and he realized that he was going to die. He ran!

He went to live at an old cat lady’s house after that to hide from death. But it killed something else... his enthusiasm. There he met a dog which he refers to as Perrito. Though becoming friends with him was not really a choice.

After a group of outlaws (The three bears and Goldielocks)  come looking for Puss does he learn of the wishing star, and there he decides that Puss and boots can make a comeback, with a fresh set of lives after he gets his wish.

All he needed to do was steal it from Big Jack Horner (the kid that put his plum in a pie). And apparently he has more magic items than any witch or wizard could dream of.

There he runs into Kitty Softpaws (His ex fiance). and they fight over the map.

After the chaos and escaping with perrito. Kitty, Puss and Perrito find themselves on their way to the wishing star.

Once they get to the dark forrest, they learn that depending on who holds the map determines what the forrest looks like and how challenging it will be. After Puss and Kitty realize that holding the map leads to a dangerous journey, they give it to Perrito whose path to the star is quiet calm, mainly due to him being content with his life as it is.

They go through the Pocket of Posies and Puss and Kitty learn to take a moment to smell the roses. While also avoiding Jack Horner and his arsenal of magic and evil minions.

After the posies, learning Perrito’s backstory (which he calls funny not realizing how HORRIFIC it is for him) and a hair cut. Jack horner catches up to the heroes, the treacherous fight makes Puss remember his last life and he hears the bounty hunter’s whistle. The one he has grown to fear. Losing the map in the chaos and fear.

Perrito finds him and calms Puss down.

Puss also ends up apologizing to Kitty about what happened and leaving her at the alter. Which Kitty admits she also didnt show up, as she knew that he was too in love with his legend to ever love her.

And after that the group managed to catch up to the bear outlaws, there is another fight where puss touched the map and ended up in a cave of memories, where he met all his past lives. What started out as a joyous reunion soon shifted as Puss learned how much of an ass he was because of his “Legend” and how alone he was. Where he once again encounters the wolf bounty hunter where he explains he is “Death” not metaphorically or poetically, but ACTUAL death. (getting right to the point)

The encounter reveals that Death always hated how cats got 9 lives but was especially annoyed with Puss as he not only was reckless, but didnt seem to value the lives he had been given, and decided that he would not wait for him to croak the 9th time. That he would do it himself.

Thus resulting in Puss being afraid and leaving to get the wish.

Cue epic final battle for the wish, and Puss encounters death one more time, where thanks to his friends and his new found appreciation for life, he decides to fight death once again, but this time assuring Death he doesnt fight because he doesnt fear death, but because he wants to live.

Death now seeing Puss is no longer the arrogant cat he once was is now not interested in killing him right now and leaves.

Allowing for Jack Horner to become the final boss and the final bout results in Puss, Kitty and Goldie destroying the wish to save their friends and family.

Everyone now content. Puss valuing his last life, Kitty having two people she can trust and Perrito having a name and a home.

The plot is simple, but that doesnt mean its not compelling. It keep the objectives simple so it can focus on the characters and its moral. I dare say it is one of the best executed plots ive seen in a while. Though I do think it could have maybe given Puss one more event to help him really piece it together but it does give plenty, and I wont harp on it too much.

9/10

_____________________________________________________________________

Flow

This movie is an hour and 40 minutes. And it doesnt waste a MINUTE OF IT. Very rarely do I find movies that dont linger on a scene or two too long. Puss in Boots does not have that problem. Every scene, every moment goes on as long as it needs too. Even the Reveal on what the wishes are (for goldielocks) you would think would weigh on it too long, but no. Its handled with such perfect balance.

They even balance the screen time for all the parties in the chase perfectly. You never loathed seeing what another group was up to. The transition to scenes and interactions felt so natural.

If this movie was 3 hours long, I dont think i wouldn have noticed because I was so engrossed in it.

10/10

___________________________________________________________________

Heroes

Puss: Is going through a LOT in this movie. Antonio Banderas shows his voice acting chops with Puss. Being able to show the cockiness of the cat legend and exhibit genuine fear and panic. Puss starts off getting high off his own hype and as the movie progressed he went through the 5 stages of grief over his mortality. Denial, Anger, Depression, Bargaining, and Acceptance.

Denial: Going to the bar for milk to drink away his doubts

Anger: Clashing with death the first time,

Depression: Burying his boots and settling in to his new life with the cat lady

Bargaining: The entire journey of the wish up until his last clash

Acceptance: Picking up his sword after his life flashed before his eyes. Understanding his mortality and accepting that this life is his to live and he is not the legend, but he is himself.

I like how he naturally softened over time with Perrito, and how he genuinely cared for Kitty. This was a great arc for a character and I loved what he did

Kitty softpaws: I never saw the first Puss in Boots, so I have no idea what she was like before. But I loved her performance. She is the badass and also soft when it comes to Puss. In a way she is like Puss but without the ego he was plagued with. Her goal was to find someone she could trust, something that paralleled Puss in a way, being that she felt as alone as he did.

And this may have seemed like an after thought, I think that her wish works for her and I am glad that she and Puss found that trust in eachother. Also the fact she didnt go to the wedding either is a nice touch. I do wish they could have given her a bit more but they do give her a good amount.

Perrito: EVERYTHING I know about movies would make me believe I would hate this character... but this movie not only made him a fun, lovable and charming character... but made him the BEST PART of the movie. His tragic backstory that he doesnt even realize is tragic, his upbeat nature never comes off as annoying, and he is the heart of the group. He is the therapy dog that helped Puss deal with his trauma. Also he CURSES LIKE A SAILOR and I love him so much. When he dropped those expletives I DIED.

9/10 for heroes.

___________________________________________________________________

Villains

I love how we got plenty of villain types!

We got the sympathetic Villains/Antiheroes with the 3 bears and Goldilocks. The later of which wants the wish to find her real family, and when the bears find out... THEY STILL help her try to do it. They had such a good family dynamic and the back story with them is sweet as honey. Though out of the antagonists they were the weakest character wise (but they were still great)

We got the IRREDEEMABLE VILLAIN in Jack Horner. A man that knows he is evil and doesnt care. He is selfish and entitled and knows it. He owns it. Like a classic Disney villain. (Hey disney remember those? Maybe get back to it since Dreamworks is eating your lunch with him). He was fun to watch and how little he cared how his minions died. It was so morbid some of the ways they died and he casually dismissed it. When the conscience cricket tells you that you are an irredeemable monster, you know you are evil.

but NONE of them can touch the level of hype that is “Death”

When he shows up after you hear that Iconic whistle, you know he was gonna be epic.

Guy beat the bricks off Puss and mad that cat horrified

Death wasnt metaphorical

he was VERY LITERAL

He also is fascinating because her wants to kill Puss not because he is a cat, but because he didnt value his life and didnt respect death.

It was only after Puss told him he will fight for his life did Death see he respected death and valued life. Annoyed he cant kill the self righteous jerk he wanted to, Death accepts Puss as he is, promising to return when it is his time.

The fights with him are epic, even when Puss was fighting back it was clear that Death wouldnt lose the fight if it continued. It also was interesting seeing death loom around the corner, watching Puss.

It put me on edge, wondering when and where he would pop up next.

Plus LOOK AT THAT DESIGN. I dont know what Dreamworks is doing, but they NAILED how to make a wolf look sick as heck!

I could go on about how Death is such a deep character, but everyone and their mother have already talked about it.

8.5/10

____________________________________________________________________

Moral

This entire movie was basically about the accepting of Mortality and how we should value our lives, embrace the good and bad, be grateful for the gift of life. Perrito is the embodiment of how we should live life, not dwell on the negative, focus on being our best selves and helping those who need it.

Puss showed that a legend/ legacy is not all its cracked up to be. One needs to live life for themselves not for some sort of legend or for the sake of making a name for themselves. If that is something you want, thats fine, but dont let it separate you from loved ones.

Basically, Appreciate the life you have because every minute is worth it.

9.5/10

____________________________________________________________________

Overall

This movie does deserve every bit of praise it gets.

Also it had good amount of references to shrek (not too many, but enough)

It is a movie that I would rate up there with my favorite animated movies. It has heart, action, comedy and a great moral.

This is a TOP TIER example of what a kids movie should be.

Yea its a bit dark in some places, but it has such a bright message and such good in it that it should be show.

9.5/10

Highly recommend

[strawberry-jammers]

child reader (Pt.4)

tommy x child!reader || whys he here??

someone comes to the tundra to fight the blade (also some cute fluff)

pt1 pt 2 pt3 pt4 pt5

masterlist

this took so long lmao, part 5 coming soon

This story will diverge from the cannon. Since i cant remember it well im just gonna do my own thing.

------

The three of them, techno tommy and little (y/n), lived together peacefully for a bit. Techno and tommy would occasionally spar and commit minor terrorism, while (y/n) got to play with tommy and uncle techno. 

(y/n) has grown a bit sense they had arrived there, being a happy kid like they should be.

On calm nights, techno would read to the little kid, stories of gods who ruled over the lands. Stories of himself in his times of adventure. They enjoyed all his stories, for they held a sort of unreachable curiosity that they loved oh so much.

“Im not reading you a story.” techno says. Sitting in his usual arm chair. He had come back from the nether not long before, just wanting to rest after a long day of fighting withers. He didnt expect the kid to want to hang out with him. “Pwease uncle tech!” they said. He shook his head. “I said no.” (y/n) huffed, getting off the arm of the chair, walking to the pile of books that stood in the coroner of the room. 

They looked through it, trying to find the one they wanted. Once they did, they let out a happy ‘aha!’ and stumbled to the grumpy piglin, book in hand. “This one this one! Pleaaaase!!” they said. Showing techno the book. He examined it, realizing that it was the story about himself that philza had given to him as a joke gift. His eyes widened. ‘Why would the brat wanna read about me?’ he pondered. He just sighed, gently grabbing the book from the small hands it was being held in. “Fine, fine, I'll read you the story.” 

(y/n) smiled, climbing up to sit on the piglins lap, wanting to try and read the book along with him. He huffed, not really agreeing to them sitting on him. None the less he opened the book, reading the unfinished tale to the child sitting before him.

“Once centuries ago, there was a young lad cursed to hear ungodly voices…”

Those were nights (y/n) enjoyed the most. They couldn't read, but having techno read to them was much better than reading a book all alone.

On most days Tommy would play with (y/n) outside. Neither of them got bored of the snow, being used to the sunny weather that was logstedshire. It was a nice change of pace that (y/n) enjoyed. 

The two of them usually had snow ball fights, or tried to build towers and mini houses out of the snow. Tommy would build them snowmen, ones that looked like the people they knew. Others were sometimes ones they hadn't seen before, that Tommy would tell stories of when they would go to bed.

“Papa look!” tommy turned to his kid, who was happily standing next to a snow version of himself. It was small and barely looked like himself, but he easily recognized it. He came up to the small child, picking them up happily. “That's me!? It's amazing little (f/i)! You did so well!!” he said, ruffling the young ones hair. They giggled at the action. 

“Wanna see mine?” (y/n) nodded. He walked over to the snowman he had built, showing them to his kid.

They looked familiar, (y/n) thought. These were the people in the storys (y/n) was told, the man with words of wisdom and guitar playing skills that calmed every citizen, who had tragically died in their last battle. The boy who was by papas side, who loved bees and everyone he knew. The young baker who had a kind heart and a smile that could put anyone at ease. Jack manifold.

Tommy spemnt a very long time creating this, purely so he could show (y/n) his old friends at least once. “Whos that one??” (y/n) asked, pointing to the the fox looking one, standing tall next to the leader, wilbur. “That's fundy. He didn't do much in the war, but he was an amazing fighter, and also a furry.`` Tommy replied, setting the child down. They ran up to the snowman. “Furry furry furry!!” they chanted, making the young boy laugh. “Yes furry!”

Most days now were spent with all three of them playing games inside till the late hours. After (y/n) had gotten sick from being outside so much, Tommy decided to just stay inside the warm cabin. They would bug techno alot, but he enjoyed the company some days. It was better than staying inside alone with an enderman who didn't really like him.

Today however, was different. For they had an unexpecting visitor who was very friendly. 

--

Techno was making breakfast, as usual. He had learned that if he didnt, neither of the innits would eat till dinner when their bodys couldn't handle it anymore. It wasn't good for a young baby like that. Not that techno cared tho.

He was putting the dirty pots and pans in the sink, knowing he'd try and force Tommy to do it later. He started to put the food onto plates when he heard shouting coming from outside. "TECHNOBLADE GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!!!" 

Techno stops for a second. No one could possibly have the balls to fight him, let alone twice. Technoblade put the stuff in his hands down, walking over to the window to try and see who was out there. As he thought, it was none other than Quackity trying to pick a fight with him once more. 

"I CAN SEE YOU PIGMAN! COME OUT HERE AND GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!!!" The duck man was actually prepared this time, with enchanted netherite armor and an axe to go with it. It seemed he upped his game sense last time. 

Techno chuckled, going upstairs to grab his things real fast. There's no way someone can try and beat technoblade like that. He came back down to see Quackity opening his door. "Heh!? Why are you inside my house!?" Quackity stood there, axe gripped tightly. Techno reached the floor, grabbing his sword. "Why can't I be in your house techno? Hiding something?" 

Ah shit he's onto us

Kill him

Haha he looks funny

Techno shook his head. "Just thought you'd play fair duck man. That's what you government people love to try and do." Quackity stepped forward. "Why would I play fair with the man whos supposed to be dead? This has been a long time coming," Quackity readied his axe, "get ready blade, cause i'm finally killing you." Techno readied his sword as well. "I'd like to see you try." 

Just as they said this, someone came up from the floorboards. "*yawn* techno are you done with breakfast yet- HOLY FUCK QUACKITY!?" a tired Tommy says, holding a nearly sleeping (y/n). The two men turn to Tommy, seeing him and his child. "Oh? So this is what you were hiding. Haven't seen you sense the exile!" Quackity says, getting closer. Tommy got up from the ladder, shrinking behind technoblade, trying to protect his kid. 

"What are you doing here big q?" Tommy says, hiding his kid. “I could ask you the same thing. What's that you've got there? Technos kid or something?” 

“Well no-” “quackity leave them alone.” techno cuts off tommy, moving more so in front of him. He cant let the baby die, he knows phil would pumble him if he does. “This is between you and me quackity. Leave them alone.” quackity shook his head, pointing his axe at tommy. “Anyone alined with you is an enemy of mine. Even if he's an old friend.” quackity lunged at techno, who blocked the attack swiftly. Quackity tried to get around the man, so he could grab the child from tommys arms. (y/n) was now awake however, and they weren't very happy.

“Papa?” they ask, realizing there was an axe lunging towards them. Quackity got around the blade, and was already trying to get to them. Tommy noticed the axe coming their way, completely ready to take the hit for his kid. 

Techno blocked the attack however. “Tommy get them to safety! I can handle this.” tommy nodded, running as quackity and techno dueld. Wuackity tried to run after tommy, but techno blocked him. “Not interesting enough for you q?” he smirks, swinging his sword at the duck man. Quackity blocks, scolding. “You're really full of yourself aren't you?”

Tommy ran outside, running to the only place he knew big q wouldn't find them, (y/n)s old hut. He ran and ran for so long, it had reached past mid day when he reached the small home he had made so many months prier. He sighed, closing the door behind him. (y/n) had long since woken up, and was very agitated. They had not eaten yet and it's been hours. “Shit shit sorry (y/n).'' Tommy says, laying the child in their old bed. He looked around the old home for anything he had left behind. He found some stuff, but he still had to go out to get food. 

When he was done, he quickly fed the crying child. “I'm sorry kiddo, I didn't think this would happen. I didn't think quackity would wanna harm you. Sh shhh im sorry.” he picks up the crying child, kinda like how they first met. A crying (y/n) and a terrified tommy. 

“Pappa- '' Tommy cuts them off, shushing them. “Just rest, Just rest…” the kid nodded, calming down slightly.

The two of them stayed like that till the sun rose the next day.

The next day Tommy got a message on his communicator by techno. Apparently quackity had won the fight, having threatened to chase after them and kill them. Techno begrudgingly went to get executed a second time. Thankfully he lived however, thanks to ranboo and tubbo stopping it. The two of them were currently at the blades house. 

Tommy didnt wanna deal with seeing tubbo, but he knew he couldn't stay out here for more than an hour. He sighed. “Hey (y/n), how would you like it if you might get to meet new friends?” (y/n) looked at him, smiling. “Yeah new friends!!” he smiled, picking up the excited child. “Let's go back to uncle technos!” “uncle techy!!!” Tommy and (y/n) laughed. Tommy got ready and left for the tundra.

Hopefully tubbo wouldn't be there when he got there.

[batfamtv]

(girls like girls) like boys do, nothing new

can you do a jealous carol x reader ? like reader has had long time crush on carol and admits her feelings only to get turned down bc carol has internalized homophobia and doesn’t know how to react. carol gets jealous when reader is moving on with another mcu character of your choice.

carol danvers x reader

warnings: internalized homophobia, failed the reverse bechdel test (women only talk about one (1) woman, a gay), no gays fighting over Y/N

word count: 2565 for the gays; set in avengers: endgame; everyone lives au

read part 1 here

Now, after a couple of years, you got promoted

Working under Nick Fury and caring for the Flerken really got you qualified to work in the field

And you did, with the best of the best: Natasha, the Black Widow, and Clint, Hawkeye

You were there when Loki destroyed New York, when Ultron threatened to destroy the world

Over time, your powers manifested, they have been dormant for the longest time

Speaking of dormant, you hadnt heard from Carol since the night she left

You talked to Nick, asked him if she’s ever stopped by, but she hasnt

“She’s busy saving the world, Y/N” he’d tell you, but that didnt make you feel better

You felt so hurt, by her reaction, her rejection, but you began to look forward

But you think about her everyday, wondering what could have been

Carol had given Nick a pager, “for emergencies only”, she reminded him, but she also gave you one

Carol told you that it’s just to make sure Fury doesnt send out some false alarms, but who was she kidding? Maybe she did want you to hit her up

But after all those years, you hadn’t

She looks at her pager every single day, wondering if the world would miss her if she decides to come see you, to clear things out

And you have thought about ringing her up too, in times when the world is in trouble, and in times when the feeling you have on your chest is sharp that you couldnt breathe

In times when you miss her so much you cry uncontrollably, hand over your mouth to make sure no one hears

To make sure no one hears how much you miss the woman you love

You were with Nick and Maria when it happened

It was chaos in the city, and you, Nick and Maria got out of the car to investigate

The drivers seats of cars are empty, helicopters crashing into buildings

Almost reflexively, your hand flew to your pocket, where the pager lay there, almost waiting for you to press it

“Y/N?” Maria sounded distressed, and when you turned to her, her body was disintegrating, like sand blown away by the wind

Nick was distressed and eyed you, “You have to call her. Call control.”

You didn’t hesitate, pressing the button as you watched Nick do the same to his pager, watching your mentor and friend disappear right in front of your eyes

When your right hand started to disappear, you moved the pager to your left hand, tears threatening to spill

You were going to die, alone, unloved, and not having told Carol how much you miss her

Her name was the last thing on your lips before you disappeared

When carol came back to earth, she didnt know anyone

But everyone was grateful to her, for returning tony

The burning question in her head, the one thing she almost didn’t want to admit

Where is the woman she loves?

Back then, way back when carol was still a child, she was told that there were a lot of things she couldnt do

She couldn’t be strong, couldn’t play baseball--because she was a woman

She couldn’t join the air force, couldn’t be a pilot--because she was a woman

All of these things she couldn’t do, but there has always been one thing she was not allowed to do, not allowed to be

Because she was a woman, she is not allowed to like other women

Maybe if she tried hard enough, she could break the glass ceiling and become an air force captain, but there was one thing that she just was not allowed to do

And that was to acknowledge weird, different feelings for women

That has always been the case, it was drilled into her being, ever since she was a child

Girls can’t like other girls

And you confessing your feelings to her years ago forced her to acknowledge that her feelings for you were not at all platonic, that she didn’t stay with you for 3 days just because you were a good friend to her

Carol had to face the facts that being with you reminded her that she was human, and deep down, like the child that she was a long time ago, she had feelings that she didn’t believe were right

And she understood that her running away was not the right thing to have done, that she, who almost prided herself for being able to face her problems head on, was not ready to face this one problem that she had been forced to hide deep down, for years and years

Carol Danvers had always liked girls, and she liked you

Carrying that aircraft containing tony stark and nebula did not bother her one bit, what bothered her was that she was coming to earth after all these years

Somehow she believes that she is being forced to finally deal with abandoning you after all these years

But in spite of this, carol is feeling excited about this, because finally, after all these years...she had made peace with it

Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new

And all it took for her to realize that was the beeping of the pager

When everything had settled down, carol had been graciously offered a change of clothes by Pepper, who was hysterically thanking her for bringing tony back

The atmosphere was morbid, everyone in silent despair, and she was quietly begging for someone to fill up the spaces of what has happened on earth since she was last there

Finally, surrounded by a group of people calling themselves the “Avengers” (carol raised an eyebrow at this, asking if nick fury was the one who assembled the group, “Yeah, how’d you know?” Rhodes asked, and she shrugged and said “Lucky guess”), she was finally brought to speed

“It’s been 23 days since Thanos came to earth”

Holograms of people Carol believed were part of this team are projected around her

“We’re trying to take a census, and it looks like he did exactly what he said he was gonna do”

Nick Fury’s face appeared on the screen, much to Carol’s shock

Tears were brimming in her eyes, thinking about the distress call from Nick

Because if Nick sent the distress call and is now, as Natasha said, wiped out...does that mean…?

“Thanos wiped out...50% of all the living creatures”

Y/N’s face appeared in front of Carol not long after

With that, Carol exhaled as tears finally fell down her cheeks...she had her suspicions, but hoped--no, begged--for it to be false

Y/N was gone

And carol was too late

Tony stark had been upset...and collapsed, Carol, who was still in shock, was staring at the hologram of Y/N in front of her

“Carol, right?”

Carol turned, regarding Natasha with a nod

They hadn’t had the chance to properly introduce themselves, but Carol didn’t think there was any time

“Carol Danvers,” Steve added with a chuckle, “I think we all know you by name before we even met you”

“Fury really singing me praises, huh?” Carol was almost amused

Natasha smiled sadly, “Not Fury,” and she and Steve turned their heads toward the hologram of Y/N

“Whenever she had the chance, she would talk about “her”, Y/N’s greatest love,” Natasha whispered, remembering how she and Clint always pretended to be annoyed whenever Y/N would go on and on about this really powerful superhero who shined like the sun, and lit a flame in her heart

And as much as Carol wanted to bask in the appreciation, she felt nothing but shame, knowing she abandoned Y/N, and wasn’t able to save her

Glancing back at the hologram, she eyed her once more

Years had been good to Y/N, still beautiful as ever, leaving her breathless, but she wasn’t there anymore

And Carol knew what she had to do

If she couldn’t save Y/N, Carol could avenge her

Rhodes approached her, Natasha, and Steve, “He’s probably gonna be out for the rest of the day”, referring to tony

With a resolute look on her face, she said, “You guys take care of him, and I’ll bring him a Xorrian elixir when I come back”

Confused, Natasha, Steve and Rhodes glanced at each other before Steve asked, “Where are you going?”

“To kill Thanos,” Carol said matter-of-factly

Natasha could almost feel the anger Carol was radiating with, so she hurried to catch up to her, “You know, we usually work as a team here…”

When Natasha finally had the chance, she pulled carol over to the side to talk to her privately

“I know that you usually work on your own, that there are worlds out there who need you, but earth needs you too”

She was convincing Carol to stay, to try and create a better world for the people who survived, but it was getting quite hard for Carol to remain on earth

“I don’t…” Carol shook her head, “I don’t have much left on earth.”

“If you can’t stay, atleast come from time to time,” Natasha begged, “This was your home, wasn’t it? This was Y/N’s too.”

And Natasha was right, Carol thought, and in more ways than one, it was her home. But now it’s empty, and Carol is in mourning and she had never felt so alone

All those years, she thought she could live with what she did knowing that Y/N she was still on Earth, possibly with someone who is not ashamed of who she is, who is not ashamed to accept their own feelings

And Carol was okay with that thought, but now…

She couldn’t stand being on Earth knowing Y/N wasn’t there

It was like coming home to a cold and empty house

But she looked at Natasha, finally with the courage to ask her what she had been thinking all this time, “Were you and Y/N together?”

“No,” Natasha answered, almost teasingly

Carol felt relief, but above all, she felt obligated

To do right by Y/N

So she agreed to visit and report from time to time, “For Y/N. Because I need to do right by Y/N.”

When Carol returned to earth after 5 years, Thanos was there, and so was everybody who had disappeared 5 years ago

In spite of all the chaos, she couldn’t help the voice in her head, asking, “Is Y/N here? Is she safe?”

But you were nowhere to be found, and she had promised to scour the world for you later

Thanos was defeated, but it was in exchange for the lives of Tony and Natasha

With a heavy heart, everyone attended their funerals, all grieving the loss of two of their comrades, friends

At the funeral, Carol stood at the distance, watching behind everybody else

Behind her, Nick was there, and they exchanged solemn nods and opted to wait until the end of the funeral to reconnect

“You came,” was the first thing Fury said, after all those years that they haven’t seen each other

With a small chuckle, she nodded, “Don’t flatter yourself, I didn’t come because you called.”

“I know,” Fury retorted, amused, “You came because she called, right?”

Carol’s mouth opened, lips about to ask a question she had been dying to ask ever since she came back, but no words came out

When everything was chaos and adrenaline and fighting, Carol was not scared

But now that the dust has settled, she was terrified...because now there was no more excuse to avoid what her heart has been begging her to do

Before she could push the question out of her mouth, Fury handed her a piece of paper. “She’s off-duty. Gave her a whole damn month to recuperate from being wiped off the face of the planet.”

And when Carol unfolded the piece of paper, it was just an address

Nodding gratefully to Fury, Carol turned to leave, about to face her biggest obstacle yet

From what she could tell, it was a safehouse

Apparently, Y/N was someone high up the organization that they had warranted her one

Just a little cottage out on the countryside, a palace she had always wanted

Carol laughed whenever she remember you saying, “Maybe one day I could afford a little house in the middle of Kansas, meet Clark Kent and Lois Lane...I don’t know”

And here you were, at a small little house in the countryside

Carol watched you, almost ashamed to just be staring at you while you make yourself some breakfast

As she approached the porch, she wondered how she could take on the mad titan Thanos, but is now shaking as she brought her knuckles to knock on your door, extremities suddenly feeling cold, and knees wobbling to support her weight

She could barely hear your footsteps because of the blood rushing to her head, to her face, heart beating wildly

And when you opened the door, she noted how your eyes widened the tiniest bit, mouth opened in surprise when you realized who was on the other side

“Hi, Y/N,” was the first thing she croaked out

“You…” you smiled at her, “you changed your hair”

With a laugh, she nodded, running a hand through her short hair, before she let her hand down

Slowly counting to three

And engulfed you in a hug

Absolutely-swept-you-off-your-feet hug, your feet leaving the ground as her arms wound tightly across your waist, almost crushing you

And when you heard her inhale into the nape of your neck, it was like a reflex that you threw your arms around her neck, squeezing her just as tight

And Carol wanted to apologize, and confess, and plead for you to give her another chance

She wanted to tell you that she’s sorry for leaving, i was so confused and i was scared to come back and have you look me in the eye and tell me you don’t forgive me for what i did, but i have made peace with who i am and know what i want and what i want is you and your happiness and you and you

And she may have tried to make a letter to help her organize her thoughts

You held her shoulders back, looking at her, really looking at her, after all these years, and you use your thumbs to wipe away the tears running down her face as she shyly laughed at you and held your hands to her cheeks and kept it there for a second, relishing in your heat because you were finally here, after all this time, after 5 long years you are alive

And she brought your hands down and cupped your face and leaned in

And touched her lips to yours, gently, lovingly, finally

You can taste the saltiness of her tears, but also her apologies, and love, and devotion and you kissed her back, smiling

And as you pulled away, you wiped her tears again, before holding her hands, guiding Carol inside, “Let’s eat breakfast.”

And Carol Danvers, for once, was selfish, and did not think of the world needing her help, because she knows that the world would be fine if Carol stayed home for a while

And home is wherever you are

a/n: thank you so much for your support! i rly hope you like this ;__;

[drabbles-of-writing]

in the adopted au, what does lilith think of hunter? cuz i can see this going three ways. 1.) she knows this kid is the same one that belos has been looking for, and thus lilith wishes to capture him as well. 2.) all she knows about this kid is that her sister is taking care of him, which raises so many questions. where did eda find the kid, did she steal him, etc in general lilith has all sorts of wild theories around who this blonde scarred up kid is. and 3.) she didnt even know hunter existed until she got in touch with her sister again when luz is around and genuinly thinks that hunter is her sister's actual child, and no one corrects lilith until after season 1 and she's been staying in the owl house for awhile. grant it, hunter is still eda's adopted kid but no one told her. lilith's even more upset when even gwendolyn knows hunter and how eda kidnapped.... er, adopted him.

i love ALL of these ideas canon i cant believe i have to choose between them. imma just say some stuff on all of them and hope i come to a conclusion when writing it kjsthkrjthrkj god help me

1) Lilith could've easily tracked Eda down after Belos's nephew mysteriously went missing the same night Eda escaped, and found her in like the night market with this tiny child hidden under her cloak. Lilith ofc immediately says Eda has to return him she can't just kidnap a child, however Eda is stubborn and deadpans "Belos can run me through with those weird horns of his if he wants this kid back" and thus Lilith is now half trying to get Eda to come to the Emperor's Coven to get healed and half trying to re-kidnap Hunter and bring him back to Belos. Shes convinced that Eda just has this kid out of spite and the poor childs gonna grow up feral and a whole mess of problems, Eda's not qualified to have a child in her possession. course as Hunter grows up he learns how to handle himself against Lilith as well and trick her to escape, which Lilith blames on Eda making the kid hate the Emperor's Coven for seemingly no good reason. shes even MORE insistent on getting Hunter back when she realizes he has no magic, and thus is at a far greater disadvantage just in general. girl has no idea that Belos caused the kid all those scars and not Eda or the trickster lifestyle Hunter has now. shes VERY apologetic when she learns the truth.

2) "Eda where the hell did you find a CHILD" and generally her concerned that Eda legit kidnapped him or just picked up the kid on the streets like a stray cat. "Eda did you even get him any Shots he could be Diseased. are there even Adoption forms. Eda--" and just general nagging from Lilith trying to figure out how Eda got this little bastard kid that insists on stomping on Lilith's feet. in her spare time she draws up theories on where Eda could've gotten this child and is concerned by the fact that Eda thought she could take care of a kid. a demon child is one thing, those guys are mostly self-sufficient and can eat almost anything, a witch is another matter. she understands a bit more upon realizing Hunter has no magic. no wonder Eda would take him in then, shes the most powerful witch on the boiling isles, but still an outcast in her own right. ironic she'd take in a witch with no magic, and just as odd as her. Lilith nearly lost her mind when she realized who's kid he originally was

3) Lilith had seen glimpses of Hunter before but never thought much of it until they truly got in contact again, and Lilith did a sharp double-take. kids a blonde with different eyes, sure, but he's got all of Eda's snark, stubbornness, showboating, and the irritating charm both of them insist they have. to Lilith, that's a very obvious child of Eda's, and she Loses Her Mind. when did Eda have a kid? he looks like hes 16, she had a kid 16 years ago?? did she only recently take the kid in??? did his other parent die or leave him on her doorstep?? was Eda just really good at hiding him? shes an AUNT?? shes got a lot of thoughts. I wonder if that'd also mean she'd try to take Hunter with her when she takes Eda to Belos, thinking he'll cure her. I wonder if she'd feel bad since Hunter is her 'real' family like she said in canon or if she'd let Hunter stay with Luz and King in the hopes that when Eda gets cured she can just return her to the kids waiting at home. if she let him stay with Luz you better believe he's grabbing everything he can and storming back to the Coven to kick Belos and Lilith's ass he is NOT letting them take the one good parent in his life. if Lilith took Hunter With her,,,,hoooo boy shes in for a surprise when Hunter is fighting to stay with Eda while also getting as far from the Castle as possible, and when faced with Belos, is called family. Lilith would have. multiple questions on why Belos and Eda both have a kid before its explained that no, actually, he's not related to Eda at all. and god, her learning that Gwen not only knew about Hunter but also learned he wasn't biologically Eda's before her? she'd be so pissed

[liddolwhynot2000]

Hey I would like to make a request for a soft yandere Levi x reader Levi finally gets to retire and open up his own teahouse and he starts to have feelings for reader who works for him, some fluff please and thank you 🙂 and on the side note I bet Levi is into bondage

Oohh yandere time. I hope you enjoy!

(also yes I think so too. Probably a very mild version of bondage tho.)

___________________________________

Envision

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Summary: Humanity's strongest soldier was destined to spend the rest of his life alone--but then he met you.

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Pairings: Levi/Reader

Genre: not so soft Yandere, Levi falls in love, no angst

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Retirement had always been a foreign concept to Levi. He had figured that it was one of those things he could only dream about. After all, being in the survey corps was the equivalent to signing up for an untimely death. As far as he was concerned, his end would occur in the mouth of some titan. It was a death he had made peace with.

However, some sort of fate had intervened and before he knew it, he had recieved the retirement he had never been courageous enough to voice out.

He had opened his own tea shop.

It hadn't been easy, of course. Initially the government hadn't been willing to give him much beyond a certain amount of money every month. But once queen Historia had recovered from giving birth to Princess Ymir, they had changed their tune quickly.

The queen had awarded his years of service with a plot of land and a fairly large house. There was also a monthly payment of more money then he had ever seen in his life. The house had needed some improvements. But Levi was in relatively good shape, so he fixed whatever needed to be fixed with his own hands.

He rather enjoyed the laborious task. But what he was more thrilled by was the wholesome outcome.

His tea shop had a nice, modest corner in the city. And much to his delight, it was always hustling and bustling. Many flocked to it, initially out of interest of seeing Humanity's Strongest Soldier. Most returned once they realized that the tea was amazing.

The house was divided into two parts, with the lower floor consisting of the cafe and the upper floor was where Levi lived. There was a plot of land that he owned, in the more rural areas, where he had paid some farmers to grow tea leaves and certain fruits and vegetables for his shop.

It had taken two years of hard work but his venture had paid off. His very own tea shop had been established and was making plenty of profits.

Levi no longer had to fight titans, or watch his cormades die in the battlefield. His life now consisted of a nine to five job, like most civillians. And he couldn't be happier about it.

Meeting you only amplified that happiness.

____________________________________

Levi had recruited his staff in a far more different manner then others would. For one, they were all former misfits. Three teen boys and two teen girls--who had grown up just like him, stealing to survive. Levi liked to think it was a way of paying forward what Kenny had done for him- if the man hadn't met him when he had, Levi would have died sitting next to his mother's corpse.

After he had settled them all into their jobs, he hadn't seen any need to recruit anymore people. They were running the shop just fine, and all Levi needed to was supervise a little.

Then you came into the picture.

You were so...delicate. Even shorter then him. Levi privately admitted to you being quite the beauty, with your sweet face and gentle smile. Your clothes were baggy, hiding a figure he often found himself wondering about.

He had thought that you were younger, maybe 18. But you had informed him you were actually 28. You had been a chef at the palace, but due to personal reasons, you had quit and desperately needed a job.

Levi had known he didn't actually need a chef, his shop was running just fine with the one he already had. But, he was so starstruck by you, so confused by what he was feeling, that he had ended up hiring you anyways.

You were rather timid- not really making eye contact with anyone, keeping your head down as you worked. You didn't bother making friends with the others, the age gap making it awkward for you. But you ended up making friends with him.

It had started out small, and Levi admitted, because of him. He had left you in peace for the first two weeks, but he was so inexplicably drawn to you, that he had to interact with you. So he ordered you to make him tea.

It didn't take you too long to understand how he preferred his tea, and within weeks, you were bringing him tea everyday, without even being ordered. It was made just the way liked it.

At the start, he tried to contend himself with brief conversations, often restricted by his inability to ask you to sit down and drink tea with him. Once he learned you were quite the cook, he made it a point to show his preference for your cooking.

You had been so grateful to get a job from him, even though you had known he didn't need to hire you and was still paying you quite generously. You immediately took the bait and began bringing him meals in the afternoon.

It was only when Levi gruffly ordered you to bring your lunch with his that you started to eat with him.

And thus began his friendship with you.

____________________________________

Growing up in the underground, the notion of love had never been taught to Levi. The most genuine warmth he had ever experienced was his beloved mother. He struggled to remember her now, time having messed with his memories. But he knew that the most he had ever felt loved was with her.

His mother's lullaby, its lyrics long forgotten in his youth, was something he sorely missed. Her embrace was something he had longed for on his worst days, but he had forced himself to accept that it would be a long time till he would ever see her again.

He had also accepted that he would never have someone in his life who cherished him the way she had. Not even as lover.

When it came to the romance department, Levi hadn't ever gotten into a relationship. Sure, there had been offers, but he had never indulged himself. He had turned down countless love confessions, feeling rather uncomfortable. Maybe it was that no one really knew him, or it was just that he wasn't interested at all. He had even thought of himself as incapable of feeling love again--the way he had let people into his heart, even if just as friends, only for them to die. It had left him cold to the core and unwilling to even entertain the idea of friendship, let alone romance.

Humanity's strongest soldier was destined to spend the rest of his life alone--but then he met you.

You and your soft presence, making him feel things he hadn't ever felt before. You made him feel warm, but different then the way his mother had. Often times, you left him feeling out of breath and with his heart beating erratically.

It had started out so small, hardly noticeable ot even himself. But one day, you had smiled at him, Levi recalled fondly, and it had made him want to smile back.

Things had only spiralled out of his control afterwards. There were days he would get so overhwlemed by his strangely strong emotions for you, that he would avoid going into work. Only to find himself missing you.

The days he didn't cowardly hide away, he found himself basking in your presence. You weren't some chatterbox, finding the silence to be just as soothing as he did. It was what made the two of you mesh so well.

It didn't take him long to grow out of his phase of uncertainty, Levi had a good idea of what he was feeling. But he wanted to see more of you, know more about you, so he could make a proper decision. But just watching you was driving him crazy.

The way you tucked your hair in behind your ear as you worked, it made him wish he could do it for you. He was sure your blush would be adorable.

The sweet way you giggled at his horrible jokes, it made the darker part of him long for you to reserve that laughter just for him. It had actually made him go out of his way to ensure that your interaction with males was limited. The ugly, jealous part of him couldn't tolerate anyone so much as looking at you.

How tired you got while working hours and hours end- it made him wish he could just lessen your work to nothing. The possessive part of him insisted that you didn't need to work for anyone else. That you should only be cooking for him. Levi often told himself, trying to stay in control, that he would make it so soon enough.

Your delight when you were around little children, you often gave them discounted desserts. It made his traitorous mind imagine little kids that looked exactly like you.

His feelings for you had grown exponentially-his initial curiousity about you hadn't been sated by any means. In fact, he thought about you more each day that went by. His mind had begun to conjure up a future for the two of you.

It was a future where he could see himself waking up to you every morning, and ending his day with you in his arms.

A future, Levi thought to himself, he was determined to turn into his reality.

Even though he could tell you didnt quite feel the same. But time could change feelings right?

____________________________________

If there was anyone on the Island of Paradise that could get away with murder, it would be Humanity's Strongest Soldier. Even in his retirement, the military knew better then to press charges against him. Or even say out loud that he had committed the crime.

On a rainy day, Levi's staff watched him walk out of the tea shop, cloak in hand, a knife hidden in his boot. He had stormed out, with his eyes screaming murder, and no one had enough courage to stand in his way, let alone ask him anything.

He would come back the next day, looking calm. His staff, unfazed by the blood stains on his clothes, had carried on with their work. They knew better then to ask.

You, on the other hand, did not. You didn't have the same childhood they had, for their lives had been riddled with crime and unfairness. You were soft- innocent. And so, so concerned about him.

You checked him for wounds, fussing over him, much to his delight. You had no idea that every hiss of pain was absolutely false, he hadn't sustained a single scratch. But for the sake of keeping your attention, he would keep at his acting.

And besides, the entire reason he had gone out was to fight for you. You had, while sobbing, told him the reason you quit your previous job-a scummy noble, Travis Wills, had been trying to force you to marry him. Levi hadn't been able to keep his rage to himself, and in his mind, rightfully so. The man's body would never be found.

He would never tell you, of course, in fear that you would be scared of him. It would remain one of his secrets.

He would love and cherish you beyond anything. You would only ever see your gentle, soon to be ex Boss, as your lover who could do no wrong.

You would never meet the monster in him.

At least, he hoped you wouldn't.

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A/N: Heyooo. This is smaller then usual and I don't even know if I tackled yandere Levi well! Do tell if y'all liked it. Till next time ⭐ also asks are open please ask for some headcannons I feel like writing some.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 1)

“ I hate myself, so much, so intensely, so completely, I wish I just go away, disappear for good, & yet in the end, I always protect myself, instead of taking responsibility, I run away every damn time, like now, I’m too scared to even look at your face”. The real kyo under the layers of trauma.

This quotation is why this ep is not abt romance. Instead it is abt: Extreme self-loath, faulty coping mechanism, self-awareness & inability to make correct decisions due to suicidal thoughts & non-existent self-worth.  

This is a guy who’s literally seen death TWICE at the age of 4 & 15 (his mom & kyoko), is trying to avoid the THIRD (tohru’s) & is questioning why the FOURTH isnt happening (his own death).

-The layers of a broken self: Excellent writing:

I applaud the writer for choosing fitting methods to portray her characters’ own trauma. Yuki “ prince” mask & tohru’s “i’m okay” mask were fitting to hide their trauma & uncover the real personalities. However, since kyo would be the character to hide secrets & carry guilt, the viewers need to feel he’s hiding sth w/o knowing what it is. It was done cleverly to (a) tie the plot together, (b) build kyo’s character, (c) fit the climax, (d) suit his trauma of severe guilt & self-loath. Some of the things he does can fit two genuine layers: Both layers are true:

His initial refusal to open up to tohru in early se01. (Surface layer): he doesn't know how to interact with ppl who accept him as he confessed to shigure, (Deeper layer): he avoided tohru cuz he knew her!

He initially refused to join leisure activities & trips: hot spring & kyoto trip (Surface layer): he didn’t want to go with yuki (Deeper layer) he didnt want to spend time with tohru as he was unconsciously feeling that he’s stealing from her.

It killed him to see her true lonely self behind her fake mask & approached her with advice. se1, ep5 (grandpa house), se1, ep23 (sick tohru), se2, ep 8 (hiro’s remarks) & other instances.  (Surface layer): he was noticing her issues, & genuinely wanted to help her cuz he’s kind (Deeper layer) he was falling in love w/her & unconsciously wanted her to be happy with HIM.

There were times when there was ONE layer, such as: kyoko’s 1st grave visit. He was so off, rigid, unresponsive, & completely shut down. Everybody read him. Yuki, tohru, Arisa & hana. they just don’t know why he behaving like that. his trauma manifested itself deeply that he apologized to tohru in her sleep cuz he was “ too scared to even look at your face”.

- Kyo’s trauma takes physical shape: (Clutching his heart: PAIN, clutching his stomach : DISGUST) :

While confessing to tohru, kyo’s features spoke volumes. You can see disrepair, guilt, broken soul, sadness & surrender. His body reflected his emotions:

wide eyes (disbelief), Cat eyes (utter fear)

trembling body (overwhelmed with toxic emotions)

clutching his fists (anger at self) , opening fists (surrender to darkness)

hand covering face (shame), Hand around neck as he finished confessing abt kyoko & yuki (desire for death: the final judgement)

The most focused physical appearance was his fist clutching his heart: he was in so much pain as he narrated how he loved kyoko & found a friend in her, desired to make her happy, to find tohru for her, how his his mom withered away out of fear of him & how pitiful & sad he felt towards tohru for loving someone like him. It broke his heart to see them all suffer after knowing him. All the love he felt for them squeezed his heart tight, he wanted to pull it & rip it away. Above all, he was sad to loose them all. Sad he can’t be wit them.

Then he clutched his stomach: representing the pure disgust he felt at himself. As he realized that there is no escape from being responsible for their death, as he admitted he illogically blamed yuki, his disgust with himself boiled in his stomach. What kind of disgusting horrible person does that? blame someone illogically? I’m horrible, hateful & utterly undeserving to be forgiven. Being disgusted with one’s own self! oof! it was so well-done with animation!

-Tying Mature Themes with Child Trauma:

Through kyo’s story, there were different mature themes that excellently dictate his behavior, mentality & emotional well-being: Excellent writing!

(1) The desperate need for self-worth: To be good for once!

by constantly destroying his self-worth thro contempt (the sohmas), rejection (his mom), hate (his father), pity (kazuma/ kagura, initially), kyo searched for an outlet to be a worthy human. Someone who deserves to be loved for who he is. He found that in kyoko. It is brilliant that kyo didn’t look for a mom in kyoko. He called her “ old hag”, she told him unflattering facts abt herself “ neglecting her daughter”. she was his first real friend. He found comfort being with her. He wanted to return the intimate feeling he felt deep down, kyo is so hung up on giving as much as taking as it contradicts the notion of pity. The opportunity came! Helping her find her daughter! being someone who does good! Return the daughter & feel worthy of being a true friend, a man (aka a person). “ i’ll help her, I’ll protect her for sure! it’s a man’s promise” The promise in its core is abt kyo wanting to be a person. Not a monster, or a cat. A true real boy. Away from all the toxic past emotions. Being a man: means being a big boy (person) with good achievements! All this shattered when a better boy beats him to it. The boy who was always praised, loved & respected! kyo’s self-worth diminished greatly & all the toxic emotions came back!

(2) The downfall of faulty coping mechanism: Creating a Bad Guy:

I stated before that one of my fave scenes of kyo was in se02, ep23 when kyo lashed out at yuki on the stairs upon seeing the hat & how yuki felt nothing but pity towards kyo as he was stuck in the past while yuki moved on. Brilliant scene that explains why one moved on & the other didn;t. Yuki’s faulty coping mechanism was being withdrawn & shutting himself. This coping mechanism didnt make him feel better at all!!! Also, he doesn’t have regrets nor sins, he dealt with his faulty coping mechanism with tohru’s help & the school council & healed gradually. Forever loving the writer for writing the distinction between kyo & yuki logically without painting any as monster in reality. Kyo couldn’t do as yuki for the following reasons: ( remember the old theme of everybody heals on their own pace? love it )

(a) He was addicted to shifting the blame as it made him feel better abt himself!! he shifted his thoughts from “ I wanna go away for good” “ mom, why didn’t you kill me instead” to “ it’s not my fault at all, it’s yuki” No match between the two feelings! one leads to suicide, the other leads to feeling like a mere victim. The two feelings are wrong tho & He knows that! he isn’t ready to stop the drug. He can’t face himself. “ the bad guy, if he isn’t as awful as you think, who you’re left to blame”.

(b) nothing around him can make him feel better. Tohru? but she’s kyoko’s daughter! she’s a lonely orphan, carrying her mommy’s pic taking to it! why? cuz you didn't save her! Loving tohru? is good & I wish we can run away far & be together always! wake up! why would she wanna be with a disgusting monster like you?!! You dont deserve her! you who caused his mom to die, caused her mom to die, blamed an innocent guy! Yuki? yeah, look at yuki, you can never be like him, watch as his true kindness gets noticed by tohru, the school & everybody!! he’s everything you cant be!! he should be with tohru! not you!! Master kazuma? poor guy! you brought him nothing but misery! you see his sad smile, don’t you? he’s disappoint in you. Kagura? she pities you!

(b) Kyo can’t fix his mistakes. kyo watched as yuki got back with his brother, befriended haru again, goes back to the sohma estate for the holidays. he feels he cant have similar reweds as he cant bring the things he needed. his mom, kyoko, his bio dad’s affection, kazuma’s pride in him, tohru’s love & his own satisfaction at himself. kyo just hates kyo “so much, so intensely, so completely”

(c) his fault coping mechanism mirrors his dad’s. Kids pick up toxic habits from parents all the time. Even his suicidal thoughts mirrors his mom’s! brilliant writing!

3- running away from responsibilities: perfectly constructed theme!

Who didn’t? I’m guilty! ugh! one of the best themes in furuba hands down! Any other writer would have made kyo do it once, or twice & have him face it in climax & then deal with it. but NOT takaya-san! She excellently took her time with kyo repeating this exact mistakes over & over to better portray the theme & take it out from the boundaries of story-telling to realistic depiction & logical gradual progression:

kyo ran away from being accused of killing his mom (he’s completely innocent & isn’t responsible for his birth’s deformity/curse nor his mom’s suicide)

kyo ran away from accepting kyoko’s words that yuki isnt bad & most importantly that kyo is good. He had found relief in blaming yuki, now you wanna tell me I should look into myself? I’m bad! i dont wanna look. your words are weird “ no bad or good”  Everybody says otherwise, the sohmas, dad & mom! kyo angrily ran away (completely guilty but excused as child would be).

kyo ran away from facing kyoko’s body & wanted to punish himself with death. Depression took over him as “ master tried to get me to keep living”. (completely guilty in his own eyes, if only he tried to safe her, even if he transformed, Even if she still died regardless!!! he hates himself for choosing the disgusting kyo over the kind kyoko)

kyo ran away from telling tohru the truth upon seeing her, pretended not to know her, slowly dying each time she smiles, slowly falling in love & wishing for a chance with her, a chance he believes doesn't deserve.

Kyo ran away in se01, ep14 when remembering the accident as shigure  triggered him. Tohru consoled him & he lost the chance to come clean.

kyo is running away now. Unable to face her “ too scared to even look at your face”. “ I cant forgive me! I dont want you to fogive me either”

So, after running away the first time, kyo should’ve learned better, right? now in the climax, he shouldn’t  have run away? Yes, he should. cuz simply, he isnt ready. We dont learn from our mistakes cuz someone told us. we learn when we fix the core issue. A guy who thinks he deserves a chance in life would stand tall, confess his sins, argues, talks, tells the story unbiased,  then waits for verdict. kyo thinks he doesn’t deserve to be alive, thus, tells the story with server bias towards judging himself as unworthy. HE decided the verdict & didnt wait for tohru: “ I cant forgive ME! I dont want you to forgive me either” That’s why toru’s words fall flat. “ why cant you see the truth: I love you” he can’t tohru!! cuz right now it is NOT abt love. It is abt trauma!

4- Sever guilt & desire for disappearance (death):

As adults our mistakes loom over us & we’re constantly reminded of the “ what if I had acted differently”. This ties with kyo witnessing his mom’s horrible death at 4 years old. Death in itself is scary. A loved ones death is devastating. Watching it unfold in shocking unprepared way is destructive. kyo was destroyed. Not enough: he gotta carry the guilt as his dad & the sohma hammer the accusations. He gets another chance & loves another person. Only to watch the blood splash reach his shoes. “Guilty” whispers the past. “Guilty” confirms the present. He stands in front of the most precious person to him. Now what? If tohru forgives you, the pain goes away???? You wouldn’t repeat the ultimate mistake of killing her, would you? you ominous creature. Her mom warned you. The nightmare stands hovering over kyo’s head, waiting to come true. IT WILL COME TRUE!!! OMG!!!

if Akito does it. It wouldn’t be kyo’s fault, right?  If the car hit kyoko, it’s not my fault, right? if my mom did it herself, it wouldn’t be my fault, right?

But if only kyo didnt ran away, tohru would be alive. If only I pulled kyoko, she wouldn’t have died. If only I wasn’t born, mom wouldn't have killed herself.

The “ if only “ that killed kyo’s mom as she lamented “ if only I gave birth to the rat” will eventually destroy kyo! ugh!!! AMAZING WRITING!!!

5- The Right Time to Heal (self-desire or outside help?):

When yuki was trapped in Akito’s room, haru visited to help. did yuki accept it? NO. yuki didnt even remember much of it. Why? cuz it wasn’t the right time & yuki was too deep into darkness to notice, to accept & to change. It wasnt until he was out, in co-ed school, rebelling against akito, when tohru came, he accepted her, then it lead him to accept School Council & haru. Tohru had Arisa & hana, but never went to them in her darkest moment, hiding she was living in a tent, they were hurt & confronted her, still she kept hiding her fears, sadness & darkest thoughts, interfering in Arisa’s life to provide help, but never allowing them to interfere, until kyo came & broke her mask, she started to complain, talk, show true emotions & want things! She opened up to Isuzu, too. Arisa & hana weren’t the right ppl at the right time for tohru to heal. Kyo had kazuma to teach him better, kyoko to make him notice his mistakes, tohru to love him unconditionally, the right ppl, but all that was in the wrong time cuz he’s in his darkest moment now like yuki was, unable to see or accept. Healing requires self-desire & outside help, but it gotta be in the right moment, when you can see beyond the abyss & into the faint light of dawn. That’s when words will reach the heart. Kyo need to fall so hard, in order to stand up again. Today, he unloaded his burden, threw up the disgust he felt towards himself, spewed all the hate against the real bad guy: himself! Kyo is kyo’s bad guy, has always been. He needs to let go of hating himself & accept the kind gentle kyo that kyoko & tohru saw ~

Side Notes:

This ep is why furuba wins & deserves 20 years of recognition among manga-readers! this story is real! it is NO sweet fairy tale of two lovers. It is abt one’s self & desire to live. All of them struggle with  this particular desire: kyo, tohru, yuki & the rest.

kid kyo was looking for young tohru all night! T_T

this ep of kyo confessing/ narrating his past , reminded me of yuki’s 3 eps of him confessing/ narrating his past!!! ugh! I wish tohru had that! ahhhh.

The 4 months in the mountains weren’t training!!!!! they were depression & suicidal thoughts! ouch!!

Perspectives are what dictate our feelings: Through yuki’s eyes, kyo was so happy with a loving father, friends around him & a house outside the sohmas. Thus, yuki envied him & wished to die not knowing kyo was living in trauma & feeling utter contempt & self-loath. Through kyo’s eyes, yuki was so happy with a living loving family, friends around him & a house with respect. Thus, kyo envied him & wished to die Not knowing that yuki was suffering abuse & neglect!

I love the pacing of this ep!!! It gives room to feel pain & understand the situation!!! I didn’t feel the headache of the bullet train!! THANK GOD!!! SO SATISFIED!!! I was invested all the time!

kyoko’s “ I’ll never forgive you” really destroyed kyo & went beyond it to destroy her own daughter! AAAAAAHHHH ~ T_T

I have some issues with the “ I forgot” part. It makes no sense that they make him forget the accident only to do the cheap cliff hanger in ep 6, then lazily weave it into his confession to tohru in ep. 8. He always remembered the accident. Apologized to tohru in her sleep in se01. ep14 for that exact accident, Then in se02, ep 9. It was ALWAYS in his mind! ALWAYS. Sorry Mr. Director. very lame try. lol.

The only thing I didn’t like is the music! very weird choices throughout the ep! especially at the end. Why a happy music over kyo’s “ I’m disappointed in you? lol!! its sad & tragic?! weird!!!!

I will talk abt Tohru will be in part 2. (her choice, kyo’s answer to her & the need to let go of her mom, the sohmas & of... kyo.

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

Involves following Fandoms

1. Miraculous Ladybug

2. Percy Jackson

3. Harry Potter

4. Batman/Justice/DC

• Percy, Harry, and Marinette have been internet friends since Mari first received her miraculous.

• The boys are one year older than Mari. So they were 14 and she was 13. So start of Titans Curse, and the Goblet of Fire. This is set during the summer. Before Percy heads for camp, he convinced one of the Hephaestus kids to make him a phone to keep in contact. When Harry returns to school he finds the room of requirements amd finds out his laptop works in there.

• They meet on Mari's vlog where she is complaining about how the adults in her life always let her down.

• Harry agrees whole heartedly Percy says the only person that doesnt let him down is his mom.

• Soon they are best friends and always in contact with they others, Sally and Paul meet them after summer is over and gain two more kids.

• They all tell each other their secrets and try to help each other the best they can.

• They become Instagram famous together and are seen as a trio always posting screen shots of them video chatting.

• Percy and Mari are helping and supporting Harry through everything that happens while he is at Hogwarts.

• Around this time Lila comes into the picture, at first the boys encourage her to fight back. However after she sends them screenshots from her 'friends' they encourage her to drop them all together.

• Mari distances herself from the class and focuses on learning more from Master Fu, while also growing her clientele. She goes from Jagged and Clara, to multiple celebrities from all over. She even designs for some youtubers. She meets the Wayne's when they commission her for one of their galas. She hits it off with Tim when she chugs a pot of coffee infront of him before doing his final fitting.

• Percy takes a quick trip to Gotham once the Wayne's return and interrogates/threatens Tim about Mari.

• Mari and Tim's friendship continues to grow as they text and call all the time.

• Harry and Percy support Marinette when she becomes the Grand Guardian. Percy asks Chiron about the Miraculous and discovers multiple books on them. He convinces Annabeth to copy them and has Hermes send them to Mari. While Harry finds a former Guardian in Knockturn Alley and informs her of the new Grand Guardian he gets Mari the potions she needs for the Kwami.

• Percy and Mari in courage Harry to discover more about his family and to start at Gringotts. Harry discovers his families position in the wizarding word, and how much has been kept from him.

• Harry and Mari encourage Percy to learn even more about his powers. Soon he has control of small storms and has learned how to travel in an instant through mist.

• Harry becomes emancipated at 15 and takes over Lordship of Potter and Ravenclaw. He was surprised to find out his mother was actually adopted into the Evan's family after her parents were killed. Petunia didnt know she was adopted.

• After Kronos is defeated they make plans to finally meet up, boys are 16, Mari 15, they agree on Paris because Mari doesn't feel comfortable leaving her city in case of attack. They meet up a few weeks before school is set to start for Percy and Mari.

• Harry floos to his family home in Paris and opens the wards before messaging Percy saying it safe. Percy mist travels in to his house and immediately drops his bags hugging Harry tightly. Before they both hurry off to the Bakery.

• Mari's parents are very nice and loving but they expect their daughter to be an adult and handle things without them.

• They are surprised when two boys rush into the bakery and their daughter squeals throwing herself at them in a hug. Completely ignoring Alya, Adrien, and Nino.

• Mari completely ignores her old friends refusing to even let go of her boys. She quickly introduces them to her parents before dragging them up to her room.

• For a short while they just pile on to her bed cuddling together happy to be with each other in person than through a video call. After half an hour they finally get up and let Mari pack a small bag.

• She says goodbye to her parents telling them shes going to be spending the night at a friends before they all hurry to Harry's house. Once Mari puts her bag in the living room they change into fancy clothes and head off for dinner reservations at Le Grand Paris.

• They enjoy a quiet dinner together and while they're eating dessert Chloe comes to their table to say hello to Mari. She warns Mari that their class plans on ambushing her at her parents bakery to guilt her into catering their end of summer party, because Lila's baker fell through.

• All four of them laugh at it and Mari pulls out her phone sending her mother a quick message. Telling her to not give her class a thing unless they pay.

• After Harry pays much to Mari and Percy's annoyance they say goodbye to Chloe and leave the restaurant. While walking back to Harry's they are all hugging each other. Mari is in the middle and Percy and Harry's arms are around her wasit and she has hers around them. Lila sees them passing and is quick to take multiple pictures.

• The next day she has the entire class convinced that the three are in a relationship. Lila also convinces them that Mari pushed her down and the boys threatened her.

• Alya is akumatized through her anger, Paris is surprised when two new heros join Ladybug.

• The two new heros are Anaklusmos, Percy using Kaalki because once Kaalki saw Percy he knew that he was the son of his favorite God, and Chimaera. Harry using Ziggy.

• Percy's hero outfit consisted of tight black pants and a long sleeve black shirt. Underneath a dark brown breastplate and greaves. His hair was slightly longer and even wilder than usual and sunglasses hid his eyes from the world. His weapon is a sword.

• Harry's hero outfit was black and white. He wore a white sweater with black assents, black jeans, and the outer coat to battle robes that was black on the outside and white on the inside. He has a mask in which one side is black and the other white. His miraculous transform into small goat horns when in use. His weapon is a staff, because he is a wizard he is able to use the staff as a wand, and it is untraceable.

• Ziggys transformation phrase Ziggy lets climb. Ziggy lets rest.

• Kaalkis transformation phrase Kaalki lets gallop. Kaalki halt.

• Ziggy will be the miraculous of terrian. Harry will be able to use unbreakable vines to either hold akuma or stop larging things from falling.

• They are quick to defeat Alya taking her down before Chat even finds a place to transform.

• Once defeated the trio returns to where they were relaxing along the Seine. Both Mari and Percy giggle at Harry who readjusts his new hair clips blushing slightly. While Percy simply pushes the glasses up to rest on the top of his head.

• They get lunch before Percy mist travels all three of them to Disneyland, where Mari pays for them all to get in.

• There first picture together at Disney is post on each of their Instagrams and their fans go wild after realizing the trio finally met in person. Soon their Instas are filled with different pictures of all of them.

• Meanwhile Alya is blowing up Mari's Insta demanding answers as the class is on the way to the bakery. They try to convince Tom and Sabine to cater but are brushed off by them. The class is upset and demands answers and are not happy to be told that they wont cater because Marinette isn't going to the party and asked them not to.

• The trio finish the night with a picture of them hugging with fireworks in the back. Percy is wearing little mermaid ears, Mari is wearing Ladybug ears, and Harry is wearing sorcerer mickey ears.

• They spend the entire week together and Mari introduces them to her friends in Paris with a promise of coming to their home countries to meet their friends and family next time.

• When Percy and Harry are set to leave they have a long conversation with Kaalki and Ziggy and decide to allow the two Kwamis to stay with their holders. Kaalki is very attached to his new foal and wishes to remain with his chosen. Ziggy is also attached to her kid and wishes to help Harry in anyway possible. Percy and Harry not just swear to protect their Kwamis, they agree to start a new Order of the Guardians. Mari agrees and soon they are planning lessons so she can teach them the language of the Guardians.

• When Harry returns to England he seeks out the former Guardian and infroms her they are starting a new order. The former Guardian takes Harry under her wing and teaches him things, which he teqches Percy and Mari inturn.

• The trio is happy until one day when instead of Percy answering the call its a crying Sally. Sally explains that Percy went missing and no one was able to find him. On top of that Olympus is on lock down.

• Mari and Harry go months without a word from Percy and everyone around them notices their drop. Tim flies out to Paris more often just to keep Mari company when he can. While Harry closes himself off from everyone but Mari.

• A full year passes and in that time Mari has stripped Chat of his miraculous and found a temporary holder in her friend Marc. Harry watched Dumbledore die and is getting ready to fall into hiding, when they finally hear from Percy who had just won his second war.

• The entire time Percy is asleep Kaalki is protecting him and when he wakes up Kaalki informs him of his name and tells him some of his past. Kaalki doesnt have to stay hidden around the demigods because Kaalki is a god himself and the demigods know this. Many Romans are surprised to see Kaalki never leaves Percy's side.

• At first Percy wants to immediately alert his friends but he can barelt find the time and o ly managers to tell his mother that he is alright.

• When the war is over he wastes no time traveling to England and tackling Harry in a hug before taking both of them to Paris. He leaves so fast her doesnt even return to Olympus for the rewards. So in the middle of their hugs and tears Zues/Jupiter transports them to Olympus. Right after he has to deal with a very pissed of Kwami of creation. Everyone watches Tikki tear into Zues while Mari Harry and Percy simply sit in front of Posiden's throne hugging each other tightly.

• For Percy's wish he once again turns down godhood and requests that the roman and greek camps to work together, and makes a personal request to Hecate for both he and Mari to be given Magic. Hecate agrees under the condition that Percy helps Harry take down Tom Riddle and that Mari helps once she is done with Hawkmoth. Posiden pulls them aside and informs Mari that Gabriel is Hawkmoth Nathalie is Mayrua. Once they are done Percy introduces Mari and Harry to the 7 and his cousins before they head off to meet Sally and Paul in person.

• After meeting Sally all three head to Gotham and meet with the Waynes and Mari and the boys find it funny that the only people that knew of Mari and Tim were Bruce and Alfred.

• Mari tells Tim the complete truth and how within the next few months she may die. Tim takes it and in turn tells her about him being Red Robin, then asks her to marry him. She agrees and they have a wedding at Wayne manor the next day.

• Harry meets Kara and his attention is stolen by the blonde. They gets along amazingly and exchange phone numbers. Harry even introduces her to Ziggy who also likes Kara. What really causes Harry to fall for her is when she wraps her arms around his waist and flies up into the air. Both of them bonding over their love of flying while Harry tries to stop out his blush over he lifting him like it was nothing.

• Percy returns to England with Harry and they go in the hunt together while Mari takes a final stance against Hawkmoth.

• Mari defeats Hawkmoth and Mayura unmasking them on national tv right before the battle of hogwarts happens. Once she is done she infroms her parents that she finished her last year of Lycée online and was traveling to England.

• Mari arrives in England after Percy and Harry sneak into Hogwarts. With the help of Tikki she finds her way to Hogwarts and finds her boys.

• Mari is heartbroken when Harry says goodbye to Ziggy and places one hair clip in Maris hair and the other in Percys. He tells them how much he loved them and asked them to say goodbye to Kara for him.

• Percy forces himself to stay strong but breaks when he sees Hagrid carrying Harry's body. While Harry jumps up both Mari and Percy are crying as they fight harder.

• The next day on the front page of the Prophet theres a picture of the three of them in the great hall after the battle curled together and hugging each other.

• After the war the trio goes to Gringotts and Harry has Percy and Mari officially adopted into the potter family before they return to Gotham. Mari and Tim had a bigger wedding for the public announcing to Gotham that they were married. It became known as the wedding of the century because both of them wanted to keep the Wayne families persona. Marinette drops Dupain-Cheng and becomes Marinette Potter-Drake-Wayne.

• Percy walks her down the aisle before sitting down and Harry is standing as her 'maid of honor' Percy takes Annabeth as his date and Harry takes Kara.

• After their honeymoon traveling the world Percy and Harry reveal that they both moved to Gotham. Both are going to catch up on their school work and then go to college. Meanwhile Percy begins campaigning for a cleaner Gotham. He uses a Sanddollar to clean the waters and instructed the Water nymphs to immediately alert him if someone attempts to dump. That when Gotham gains a new hero Anaklusmos. A few months later Chimaera and Ladybird join the scene as well. They focus more on the petty crimes and keeping the city cleaner while the Bat fam focus on the really bad guys.

• Mari joins with Wayne Enterprises and grows her own Fashion empire, while Percy gets his degree in marine biology and Harry in teaching.

• A few years later Mari has all but forgotten about her old class until she takes a trip to Pairs with time to visit her parents and Chloe and they find a class reunion at Le Grand Paris. Lila and Alya try and put Mari down, and are surprised when she laughs. She kisses Tim cheek softly before turning to them, and introduces herself and Tim. Leaving the entire class in shock. They watch Mari walking away with Tim as Chloe walks through the doors to them a bounce in her step.

[beaglesfoundindumpsters]

tw, slight mentions to suicide, manipulation, (specifically dream’s manipulation), slight violence and/or murder, and curse words

even though techno said sbi (as a family) isnt canon, im still gonna head canon it, because he said that was okay

so, here we go *takes deep breath*

SBI HEAD CANONS AND INCORECT QUOTES BABYY

im literally obsessed with how strong sbi is. i mean, of course theyre hilarious and tommy’s a child, but other than that... god damn.

starting off, we have techno, of course. and hes super strong just by himself. (TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIES and BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD)

then, we have philza. angel of death. killza. he’s insanely strong. like, god.

then, wilbur. wilbur isnt physically strong, but he was always a leader. he started an entire country, for hells sake. he’s smart, a leader, and doesn’t give up. (he also went insane and died, but we dont talk about that)

im gonna think of ghostbur as this kind of seperate entity. (cause he kind of is) ghostbur isnt inherently strong, but no one would ever want to hurt him. hes nice.. a little too nice. now, forgive me if im overthinking here, i feel as if ghostbur might be hiding something. apparently, a few days ago ghostbur joined the server with a new skin, a skin with large goatlike horns.... hmm... little sus...

and, then, of course, tommy. tommy, tommy. the only person dream’s scared of. at the current moment in time, hes super confused. he keeps thinking that dream’s still his friend, and upon seeing the final control room his first instinct was to run back to dream, his abuser. but, techno’s taking care of him right now. hopefully techno can get tommy back on his feet and then they can become a great team.

another thing about philza, he doesn’t really have any allegiance to any country, (*cough* lmanberg *cough*), and he mostly only has allegiance to techno, wilbur, and tommy. aka, sbi. he also recently revealed that he doesn’t think that tubbo isnt actually doing a great job at being president. so, what does this mean for sbi? that once phil gets out of house arrest hes probably gonna go live with techno, tommy, and wil.

oh, lord, am i excited for that.

oh lordy lord lord

im so hungry

what was i doing

oh yeah sbi

nice

anyways, moving on from the immense power in that group,,, um tubbo? i like tubbo

he really cool

i mean, i really dont like the way hes ruling lmanberg right now, but before that he was awesome

i think a lot of pressure was put on him when he became president, especially because he didnt ask to be president and he didn’t even run for president.

and, since everyone else in the cabinet is being more controlling, (possible glatt possestion?), tubbo is seeming less and less like a president as everyone else starts making more decisions than the legit president.

so, i think that exiling tommy wasn’t only a plea for peace, it was also to show that hes the president, that hes in charge and he makes the decisions.

but, sadly he just lost his best friend

also, obviously dream is so bent on controlling tommy because tommy doesnt do what dream says. tommy does what he wants to, what he thinks is best, what he thinks will help his friends.

so, when dream manipulated tommy, and tommy kind of broke, dream thought he finally had him. he had gotten tommy, the uncontrollable hero, under his control.

but, when tommy made the room, dream used that as first; a sign that tommy wasnt completely under his control and second; a way to manipulate tommy even more.

but, that, (at least i think), is when tommy realized that something was wrong.

sitting on that wooden tower, looking at the blown up logsted he realized that... maybe dream isnt his friend.

i honestly cant wait for tommy and tubbo to make up with each other, though.

i really miss the consistent content that they made with each other, and i miss when it was “tommy and tubbo vs dream”

:(

another thing, after wilbur blew up lmanberg, tommy kept saying, “its me and you vs dream,” which i think is kind of ironic. both of them agreed that even before lmanberg, before wilbur, before everything, it was tommy and tubbo against dream. they were best friends and they had a common enemy.

then, they both seperately went to dream for help. tubbo becoming dream’s “ally” while plotting to kill him and tommy being manipulated into being dream’s friend.

obviously, the manipulation isnt tommy’s fault though.

back to more sbi themes

i literally live for how good techno is being to tommy rn

like, literally, he hid tommy from dream, protected him from mobs without a thought, let him live in his house, gave him armor and weapons, and when tommy saw the final control room he said, “its fine, it doesnt take one day to heal,” and got tommy out of there.

tommy’s still a little bitch tho

anyways, tommy’s first response to the final control room was that he wanted to go find dream. this is how manipulators and abusers work. they make you think that you need them, and so when anything bad happens you want to fall back onto them, and that’s what tommy had been doing for the past few weeks, so of course his first thought is, “where’s dream? i need dream.”

luckily, though, techno was there to help him through it, and i just think thats neat.

and, isnt it funny that a sixteen year old minecraft player is representing manipulation and mental illness better than most movies? hmm....

maybe now we can have some incorrect quotes OwO

(im sorry i never want to do that again but i was on a call with a friend and she told me to do that im so sorry god i feel so guilty i hate that i hate is so much i want it to die im so sorry for putting you through that omfg im so sorry)

phil: tubbo.. where’s tommy? tubbo, knowing that tommy is trying to light techno’s house on fire: who’s tommy? phil:

wilbur: tommy, i hate you. you are so annoying, not funny at all, and the worst child ever. you disgrace every other normal child with your weirdness. tommy: wilbur, to literally anyone else: im so proud of tommy and how far hes come. that kid, hes so funny, i dont know how the world will be ready for tommyinnit. he makes great content, and deserves all of the attention that hes got.

techno:  butcher army: im gonna kill technoblade. techno: butcher army: yeah, you are so dead, techno. you better count your days. techno: butcher army: *starts attacking techno* butcher army: *almost gets killed by techno*

thats all i have for now! *fades out of existence*

/rp of course

[naughty-noodles]

The omega and Alpha thing with Toby was fucking awesome- Could you do a part two when you have time? Like Toby kidnaps the omega and kinda forces themcto like him. You're writings really good ☺️

Y/n awoke groggily, head pounding like a motherfuck. The light from a nearby window shone directly on their face, making them move to pull the blanket up. Confusion knit their eyebrows tightly as they realized their arms were restrained beside them.

Y/n's head shot up to see the leather cuffs that kept them from moving too far. Their feet were free to their relief but that emotion quickly faded when the events from the night before came flooding back.

"HELLLLP!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!" They cried, thrashing their feet and pulling against the restraints. Y/n fell back onto the bed with a thud, realizing their efforts were fruitless. They were alone and likely well hidden.

After Y/n caught their breath, they began looking around. The walls were made of logs so it was probably a cabin located in who the fuck knows where. The light coming in from the window was bright and direct. Depending on their direction, it was either early morning or late evening.

The bed smelled like mothballs as if it hadn't been used since its last wash... whenever that was, and the only other furniture in the room was a small dresser and a nightstand.

Y/n laid there, listening to a ticking clock in the hallway until the exhaustion set back in and pulled them back into unconsciousness.

A door slamming shut caused y/n to jolt back from their sleep moments later. Scraping footsteps and a groan made their heart pound fast.

"Can't do anyth-thing right, can they?"

That voice struck fear into y/n's chest as they struggled against the restraints more.

"Oh, hey. You're up."

The masked man had peered his head in. Y/n laid there too fearful to say anything. The killer removed his goggles and pulled his hood off but kept his face guard on. With a huff, he knelt by the bedside.

"Look... I know you're a-afraid... but I'm not going to hurt you. What yo-you saw was strictly business." His eyes crinkled, showing a weak smile.

"Why..." y/n coughed, their voice strained from the yelling from earlier. "Why do you stutter like that..?"

A maniacal laugh erupted from the killer.

"Of all the things y-you could say to- to me first, you ask about my f-fucking t-tourettes?!" He fell to the floor, seemingly amused by the question. After his laughter subsided, he stared with a bemused look at the omega in front of him. "You're a weird one"

He got up and shut the door before pulling out a pocket knife. Y/n's eyes widened at the sight, breath hitching in fear.

"Relax, omega. I said I'm not going to hurt you." Toby reached for the restraints and began sawing at their bindings.

"The name's T-Toby. I had to restrain y-you while I was g-gone so don't take it personally. Also..." he turned and gave them a look. "Don't try to run when these are off. I'm stronger, faster, and f-from the turnout of l-last night... smarter. If y-you are to live, then you a-are to live here."

Y/n nodded quickly.

"I'm serious, d-despite these f-f-fucking tics" he struggled to get out. "Don't be stupid."

When the bounds were removed, Toby helped the omega sit up, warning them to move slow to avoid getting too dizzy. He seemed more gentle now, not wanting to terrify them.

Y/n rubbed their sore wrists with a wince.

"I'll get you some water. S-Stay here. You won't be f-fit to walk yet."

He left the room, leaving the door cracked. If y/n had said the thought of bolting hadn't crossed their mind, they'd be lying. With how weak they felt and how sure they were of being killed if they tried, it was best that they listened.

Toby had returned shortly with a glass of water. He had even put ice in it, which y/n was grateful for.

"Drink slow."

The cold water had soothed their dry and sore throat. Despite trying to hide it, a relieved hum left their lips. Toby chuckled and took the glass when they finished. He didnt want to risk them shattering it for a weapon, as little as the risk seemed.

Smart little omega, he thought to himself.

A moment passed before y/n dared to speak. "If you're so certain you could kill me if I escaped... then why dont you take your mask off? I mean, if I'm to stay here or risk my life... then can't I at least see my captors face?"

"Captor?" Toby snorted in amusement. "Well if we are b-being tech-technical then I guess that's true."

After a moment of thought, he reached behind his head and began untying it. "Just... prepare y-yourself. It's pretty gnarly."

The mask fell off with ease, revealing a large gash in his cheek. Y/n could see his teeth and gums with how wide it was. They scooted a bit further away with a grimace on their face.

"Told ya."

"How...how did that happen? I've never seen anything like that..."

"Along with tourettes, I also hav-have this thing called CIP. I can't feel pain. It doesnt h-hurt but as a kid, when I got n-n-nervous, I'd chew on my cheek. Only the p-pain wasnt there to stop me."

He removed the gloves on his hands and held them up. Each had was riddled with scars and teeth marks.

"Also developed a n-nasty habit of chew-chewing on my hands.."

Y/n frowned and shakily raised a hand to trace the scars while Toby sat with a blank look on his face.

"You think I'm s-some sort of mo-monster, don't you?"

The omega's eyes shot up to meet his brown ones with shock. "No...no... it actually makes you seem more human, really..." y/n gave a weak smile "I mean, killing everyone else in that bar and threatening to kill me then keeping me captive is scary but honestly, seeing your flaws kinda... puts me at ease."

Toby raised an eyebrow. "You... are taking this surprisingly well, omega."

They shrugged. "Trying to make the most of my current situation seeing as if I leave, I die. No offense but i still dont like you."

Toby frowned. "Understandable, I guess." After a moment he stood up. "You should get some more sleep. That pill had en-enough dosage to take down a m-man twice your size."

A week had passed and y/n was beginning to lose all hope of a normal life. Toby was rarely at the cabin and the isolation was beginning to make the omega crack. It got to the point where the omega was excited for the mornings he'd return from what he called his "job".

They rarely went outside, despite being allowed the privilege of staying within 20 feet of the cabin. Toby had trusted that y/n would stay but only for one reason. He had showed them a picture of what resided in these woods if y/n had ventured too far. A creature he called the rake.

The mere sight of it was enough to keep y/n indoors. If they did go outside, it was only to the cabin porch with the door open to allow easy access back inside. Some nights, the omega could swear they heard the creatures cry of agony at not being permitted near the cabin.

Toby had told them that the only thing keeping that creature back was due to the nature of his job and the man he worked for. It made the omega shudder, thinking that someone was that powerful enough to control the beast.

Toby had another residence where he stayed at more often to keep up appearances. When asked if they could go with one day, he gave a firm no. He had told them the place was full of other alphas, and some were so messed up and bloodthirsty that the thought of an omega in their midst would drive them more wild.

The more respected of the bunch each had their own cabin where they were permitted some privacy. No one was allowed over unless invited. The lack of trust was obvious but the mutual gain was enough to keep them from tearing at each other.

So y/n remained where they were, cleaning, cooking, pacing, and finding whatever ways to amuse themselves while the time passed.

Toby had attempted to win them over with gifts, their favorite foods, and a basic level of trust. Slowly but surely, he was winning.

Everything slowly became second nature... until y/n's omega nature kicked in and they began nesting. Every blanket and pillow in the cabin was taken. The closet was emptied and replaced with every comfy piece of cloth the omega could find. Not a thing was out of place, just how the omega liked it.

But once they snuggled down to rest, they became irritated. Something was missing. Something vital. And the omega in them would not rest until they found out what.

Y/n searched the entire house, sniffing every couch cushion and curtain but nothing was right. They began pacing and biting at their nails. By the time the door opened, the omega was nearly pulling out their own hair.

Toby stopped at the door and raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Um... what are you doing?"

"Its missing something." The omega grumbled right before their nose caught onto his scent. The whipped around to face him.

"Um??"

"Jacket. Now." The omega glared.

"Excuse me? T-The fuck?"

"Jacket." The omega walked forward and grabbed at it. "I need it."

Confused but slowly becoming more amused, the alpha complied. "Have at it, I g-guess?"

Y/n snatched it and ran toward the bedroom to their closet. Toby attempted to follow but only got so far as the bedroom door before the omega growled. It was then when it got through Toby's thick skull. They were nesting. He's only seen it happen twice. Once when his sister was beginning to present and again when Jeff's brother Liu chose a place to nest at the mansion.

He decided it was best to leave them alone.

The omega began placing the jacket in its correct spot before plopping down, purring happily. An hour or two passed before they began to get antsy again. Something more was missing and the omega begrudgingly knew what. With a small growl, they went back to the living room where Toby lay on the couch, eyes closed in rest.

His eyes opened when he sensed the omega's presence. Pouting, y/n grabbed his hand and began pulling.

"Can I help you?" He chucked, getting up.

"Come." The omega dragged him toward the closet and pointed to their nest. "You go here."

Confused, Toby obliged.

"Okay, 'mega. Now what?"

"Now we sleep." Y/n plopped beside him, now content again. Toby remained at a loss for what to do. The omega stared at him expectantly.

"Well...?"

Racking his brain and wondering that the fuck it was the omega could be wanting, he lay there confused. Until it hit him. Omega's often seek approval of their nests. Without another Omega here to approve, he had to fill that role.

"Its comfy. I like it."

With a happy hum, the omega snuggled up beside him and drifted off while Toby lay there dumbfounded at what he got himself into.

Until he realized. After nesting, comes heat.

.....fuck.

[musicallygt]

IDEA FOR A STORY THIEVES “OWEN AND THE BEANSTALK” AU

Probably gonna be more modernish just cuz but a creepy man gives Owen magic beans and Owen kinda doesnt believe theyre magic but a part of him hopes that they are, so he plants them in his backyard (and is probably made fun of)

Lo and behold, there’s a beanstalk there the next morning reaching the heavens. Owen is excited; he’s read the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, so he’s sure there’s going to be treasure up in the clouds, so he climbs it.

Turns out it’s a lot higher than he thought. Owen is getting nervous™️ because wow this is high

He eventually makes it to the top and finds that there’s an entire world in the clouds where everything is basically the same as his own home but huge!

His life below is very boring so he decides to explore. When is he going to have an adventure like this again? So he goes into the first house he finds, where he ends up meeting a giant redhead girl

For some reason, she thinks that he’s her father. He soon finds himself scooped in her hands and squeezed tightly in what’s probably supposed to be a hug

After the hug and Owen asking what the heck is going on, she realizes that no, he’s not her father

So she introduces herself: her name is Bethany Sanderson, and she’s the daughter of a human and a Brobdingnagian (the giant people in the clouds). Her father was a human who met her mother, and together they had her (“How?” “Don’t. Ask.”)

On her fourth birthday, he had to go down to the world below for something, but he never returned. Her mother believed that he left them, but Bethany is pretty sure that isn’t the case. He couldn’t have just left them like that.

Unfortunately, she can’t go down to see him; the beanstalk that her father had used to travel between the worlds had been destroyed, and she hasn’t been able to find any magic beans. She also cant get help because her mom has told her not to even try looking for him while other people just think shes being crazy when she says her father was basically the size of her hand

Owen tells her that he’ll keep an eye out for her father (Christian Sanderson, she tells him) in the world down below, before going back down and just sleeping after that crazy day

He learns the next day that it wasn’t a dream when the beanstalk is still there and finds himself climbing it again to see Bethany. Seeing her everyday is hard though, because Owen could not come up with the best excuse as to why theres a giant beanstalk in their backyard or where he was all day the day before (“Uhh…. just a project for biology?”). They’re happy to see each other though.

Idk theres also other adventures they have together, where Owen meets other giant friends: Kiel, Charm, and Gwen. (He really seems to have a liking for Charm)

It’s harder to hide his leaving though; he’s got a lot of absences at school now, and his mom is threatening to ground him if he doesn’t go back to school. (He’s been sneaking off in the middle of the day after attendances instead.) Also is it him or is the man who gave him the magic beans constantly following him?

At some point, his classmate Orion confronts him because he thinks Owen is doing something illegal and he’ll probably have to turn him into the principal or something

He doesnt believe any of Owen’s lies though, and Owen ends up telling him everything. Orion still doesnt believe him, especially at the mention of Christian Sanderson (“My godfather? He’s been missing for over eight years now”)

Owen decides to take Orion up the beanstalk, since itll be killing two birds with one stone: prove that hes not lying and since he knows about Bethany’s father, maybe he could give information about him to her

While Orion and Bethany are talking, Owen is suddenly taken from them, and they dont notice until a lot later

Maybe he went back down below when they werent looking? All right, time for a plan to go down to the human world below to find Owen (and maybe Bethany’s father)

Meanwhile, Owen is gagged and blind at the moment, unable to see his captor

Hes finally unblindfolded and ungagged, to find himself staring at the face of the man who gave him the magic beans, though it looks like theyre still in Brobdingnag

He doesnt give Owen his name (“Call me Nobody”) but he explains that Owen was never meant to befriend the giants of the world. He was meant to fear them instead.

It turns out that Nobody is a self proclaimed giant slayer, and has made it his job to destroy all Brobdingnagians. Of course, everyone thought he was crazy when he said there were giants up above. However, he could never prove it, as he couldnt find any way up to the clouds, until about 15 years ago…

a man named Christian Sanderson had somehow gotten his hands on some magic beans that grew into a giant beanstalk, and he had been visiting the giant world up above for about a year now (turns out hes found himself attracted to a giant woman up there, which is why he keeps going up the beanstalk)

Nobody had confronted Christian about this, saying that the giants must be destroyed, but Christian disagreed: they hadnt done anything wrong, they were peaceful, and with work, maybe they could one day coexist in harmony

For years, Christian didnt budge in his stance, even going as far as having a child with the Brobdingnagian woman (at which Nobody is revolted at the very idea of)

So he decided to take some extreme measures: he decided that if Christian wouldnt listen, he would just have to make him listen. He somehow got Christian to leave his daughter’s birthday party for some sort of “urgent matter” in the world below, then knocked him out, before leaving him to suffer the giant world with nothing for hours (e.g. almost being crushed, almost eaten, etc.) then taking him back down

As an extra precaution, he chopped down the beanstalk, and as he did, it quickly retreated back into the beans they had started out as, which he collected

Now he has a way back up along with proof, but how could he destroy the giants from above?

Keeping Christian prisoner in his home, Nobody takes years to come up with a plan: somehow start a war between humans and giants. He’d find some poor unsuspecting soul (Owen) to plant the beans, and when they found that there were giants in the sky, they would have the proof and create panic among the people, who would feel that they have to attack the monsters before they destroy them

Of course, Owen did exactly what Nobody didnt want him to do: befriend the Brobdingnagians like Christian had, so he tries to convince Owen to be on his side

Owen however is completely disgusted at what Nobody had done and refuses. Theyre innocent, why would he agree to start a war?

Of course, Nobody informs him that it’s too late: Bethany and her friends have already planned to go down to the world below.

Owen is aware that this would cause panic down below, so he tries to go stop them, but Nobody keeps him from going anywhere, disappointed in him (“Youre just as pathetic as Christian is”)

Meanwhile, Bethany and the others (with Orion) go down the beanstalk, and they get pretty overly excited over how the world is below; Gwen and Kiel find the humans particularly adorable

Of course, there ends up being a panic at the sight of these giant children (they dont realize that theyre kids tho) and with Orion in Bethanys hand, they make the assumption that theyre kidnapping him

idk exactly what happens but its chaos. Also eventually they find Christian who at first is v untrusting to the giants and also terrified, but when he realizes that one of the is his daughter, he starts crying of joy. Hes still nervous around the others, but hes so happy to see Bethany after eight years

back up above, Nobody knocks Owen out and leaves him unconscious on the giant road to be crushed to “learn his lesson”

he expects Owen to die, but what he doesnt know is that he had been watched. After he leaves, a tiny pink haired girl runs to the street, suddenly growing to the size of one of the Brobdingnagians and scooping up Owen in her hands

He wakes up eventually, in what looks like a bed his size, except hes also in a giant bedroom

a giant pink haired girl comes in, thankful that hes okay. He freaks out because he thinks he was kidnapped. He freaks out even more when the girl shrinks down to about his size, which she did as an act to try to calm him down

She explains what she saw Nobody do to him, how she brought him home, and who she is

her name is Kara, and shes a sizeshifter (the only one of her kind). Her mother hadnt been able to bear a child, so she used some magic thing that would allow her to have one, and she soon did. Of course, since she used magic to have a baby, there ended up being magic in her daughter: she can change her size at will

The government doesnt trust this, claiming that what Kara’s mom did was witchcraft, and dont believe that Kara deserves to exist and continually try to hunt her down. She’s never managed to get caught, but shes constantly running

Owen explains what happened with him, and Kara agrees to help him

idk how anything else would work but in the end humans and Brobdingnagians live peacefully together, theres no war and Bethany, her mother, and her father live happily together

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : The villain’s little hero

Also on AO3! 

TL;DR:  All Might, Japan's number 1 villain has a successor. The problem? His successor is a hero hopeful. All Might will stop at nothing to make sure his kid gets to live his dream.

au where all might is a villain raising izuku to be a hero!

quirkless izuku, his backstory is mostly the same

all might decided that hero work had too much red tape. if he was going to take down afo, he needed the freedom to do whatever he had to and he wasnt getting that working within the law

so hes a,,, viilllaaaiinnn?? like. stain. but less murdery, would also save civilians if they were in danger

he has 0 qualms about crippling fake heroes but hes not a fan of murder

nighteye is still his sidekick, he doesnt use his quirk on allmight bc all might h a t e s it

hes kinda on board with "the future is only set in stone because you've seen it now" so he wants the freedom to break fate. but its very useful to get info, so nighteye just uses it on other people

hero to the people villain to literally everyone else

allmights villain costume is reallll similar to his hero costume. just less eye bleeding

he has longer grey hair too.

all mights bronze age costume is basically his villain costume thanks for listening

david shield is still in this story

david agrees w all might and like,,, sneaks him stuff on the downlow

all might told him ab. his quirk because who on earth is gonna believe that one america man about japans worst supervillain?

also melissa is a Soft Young Woman and she is all mights favourite person on this fucking planet until he meets izuku

all might went to ua, only defected after completing his hero training because he wanted to be trained by the people he was going to screw over

izuku has always kinda been a big fan of all might. not openly because hes legally a villain and very much paints himself as one, but his quirk is one of the most amazing things izuku has ever seen

when he looks closer, all might has never let a civilian get hurt once hes been on scene. hes taken hits to protect housing, hes pulled heroes from the line of fire

izuku watches his sports festivals and wonders why? why did all might, the man who happily told the world he'd stop at nothing to keep them safe, suddenly flip sides like that for no reason?

izuku doesnt buy it

izuku's big yellow backpack is a big red one in this universe, hes had it so long its gone pink but he still loves it

the sludge villain

all might saves him and izuku is crying. allmight thinks its because hes scared but izuku just turns to him with this big weepy eye smile and gives him the most genuine thanks he thinks hes ever been given

(its honestly the shock of that that makes him deflate into small might, which has izuku scrambling to find tissues and called an ambulance before he thinks better of calling emergency services for All Might)

izuku is like "Im SO SORRY SIR ARE YOU oK"

and all might is like ",,, b  oy"

izuku softly asking

"can,, can i still be someone with out a quirk? can i still make a difference?"

all might doesnt get the chance to anser because there is a massive explosion in the distance

its bakugo!! hes dying

the sludge villain got away bc izuku and all might were chatting a little

izuku hears it and he feels this terrible realization, because its probably not bakugo? but its definitely bakugo because izuku's life is falling to pieces

he sprints towards him and katsuki will n e v e r admit it but he feels hope in that moment because some one is trying to help. even if its just izuku, he wasnt totally left for dead

all might sees this tiny, nervous, quirkless kid run straight up to a villain that almost killed him seconds before to save someone what looks like they'd rather die

and he thinks

"no one deserves one for all more than him"

and allmight, the most wanted villain in japan, maybe the world, jumps in

the heroes look at him and they are scared. if they couldnt take the sludge villain, what is all might going to do to them? but the scariest man in japan, the person parents tell their kids about to stop them from going out at night, blows the sludge villain to tiny pieces and carefully, gently, places the two boys by the heroes

before he vanishes before they can call for backup or even ask why

izuku gets yelled at by the heroes because the heroes are scared and angry they couldnt stop either of the villains and izuku is so overwhelmed that hes crying and he can hardly breathe

bakugo doesnt even yell at him because hes so dazed about everything that happened and he cant make himself yell at this sobbing kid that used to be his friend

(bakugo is holding izukus hand like hes going to crush it but its the only thing keeping izuku present)

izuku is walking home and hes still hicuping and crying because he almost died and the heroes hate him and he feels a hand on his shoulder, and a soft :"its ok now my boy"

he knows its all might but he cant help but hide his face in his shirt and sob

all might gets down so he can look izuku in the eye

"you asked me if you could be someone with out a quirk and i didnt get the chance to answer. my answer? you already are someone. you are someone that inspired me, a villain, to save the day. you are going to be amazing"

and looks him dead in the eye "you'll do amazing things, even with out a quirk. but, you of all people deserve one, and no matter what you chose to do with it, it can be yours. hero, villain or someone in between"

izuku looks at this villain

this painfully thin villain, who just saved his life and who has unimaginable strength

and he throws his arms around his waist and sobs

inko isnt a great mum in this au and she likes to basically pretend izuku doesnt exist

izuku trains a lot and has to make his own food bc his mum just ignores him

he sneaks out at night to clear trash and sneaks back in before dawn to clean the sand from his hair

he smells like saltwater and rust, and he hasnt slept more than 4 hours a night in weeks and katsuki is worried

all might sees him crumbling with a smile stuck on his face and he wants to stop him from self-destructing, but the kid will never learn his lesson until he feels his body give up under what hes doing to it. if all might steps in he'll do it again and again until no one stops him and hes never learnt his limit.

so he waits and he watches while he pretends he cant see the bags under his eyes and pretends that everytime izuku sways on his feet he doesnt feel a jolt of deep panic

did he do this? if he the reason izuku looks like hes falling apart before his eyes?

the kid passes the fuck out and all might tells him off in a soft dad way and izuku cries bc why does this villain care more than his mum does

and all might catches the end of that little mumble, and feels terrible so he pretends he didnt hear and takes him for lunch

they go to a cafe and all might buys izuku the cutest slice of cake and a big ass bowl of katsudon and some fancy fucking tea and covers the kids eyes every time he tries to look at the prices

izuku looks at all might and asks

"are you buying me katsudon with crime money"

and all might looks sheepish and izuku giggles like an idiot and says "dont tell me ill feel bad!!!"

all might grins bc this kid is honestly the only reason he hasnt stabbed a pro hero in a few months bc hes so fucking sweet

he has to carry izuku half the way home bc the kid could barely lift his chopsticks and almost fell asleep in the booth after he finished eating

and allmight, skinny and kinda scary is giving his 15 year old a piggy back and someone says "you're such a good dad!" and he almost coughs up his last lung

izuku mumbles sleepily and hes has the biggest warm and fuzzy feeling and hes going to yell bc hes All Might the No. 1 Villain and this fucking kid is drooling on his sweater but he would die for him

some random stranger on the street commenting on how it was rly fortunate that izuku inherited his adorable smile from his father

all might, abt to burst into tears: whack

allmight is easily flustered even when hes killed a man

he comes home and inko isnt there so he has to like, wake up izuku to get him to open the door and he feels bad bc izuku is a Sleepy Man

izuku mumbles that he cant ever tell if shes at home or not because nothing changes and all might feels a wave of "wait my son isnt being parented enough"

so he makes izuku a cup of tea and tucks him into bed after he has a shower because izuku is His Son Now Inko

hes like

sitting in the living room reading the paper and he hears inko's car and hes like ",,, fuck it im walking out the front door im no coward"

she doesnt even notice and hes going to scream because does she have a brain

inko, spaced out, tired and terrible: oh is the tall man here for izuku :))) thats great :)))

all might is screaming bc"" do you get let weird men into see your tiny son>???? what the fuck???

hes so small inko??? and you?? let random men in?????

all might would yeet her into the sun if he could but his boy needs an actual family member to make going to ua easier

inko is kinda mentally ill. she is depressed and often forgets she has izuku. like shes not always being terrible she just sometimes forget to do basic things

one time she locked izuku out of the house for 10 hours and he had to sleep next to the front door

one month she didnt buy any food so by the end of it he was starving and out of his own money and there was n o t h i n g in the house, but inko would go out to eat every night and lunch and not take her son

allmight is upset bc izuku didnt tell him but izuku is embarrassed. embarrassed that he was forgotten by his own mum, that he couldnt do anything to help her or himself and honestly mad he was so hungry all might noticed bc he didnt want to bug him

it was getting to the point that katsuki actually slipped some change into his bag with a candy bar

[writingpuddle]

oof sorry, politics suck ass no matter where you are. I've been thinking of writing an au where Neil snaps in a different way after his mothers death, and he decides then and there that he's going to kill ever single person working with Nathan and eventually Nathan. He kills a lot of them, and he's smart about hiding the bodies but he also can't help but add an obscure seeming signature, which is that he just slightly cuts the corners of his victims mouths (1/?)

(2/?) Like in a mock smile, and he thinks that no one will notice since he spreads out the bodies and keeps everything else really lowkey. But eventually the fact that the can only work part time catches up with him and he has to put an ad out to rent a room in his house/apartment/thing, and queue Andrew Minyard, a criminology student barely scraping his way through college. Shit’s still happened to him, but he and Aaron have already worked out a lot of their issues and

(3/?) Nicky moved back to Germany to live with Eric while Aaron and Andrew go through college. But Andrew doesn’t want to stay in the dorms/ share rooms with anyone because he doesn’t trust anyone so he decides that sharing a house with someone is the better option, at least this place has a locking door. But, for one of his assignments he’s supposed to research a cold case, and in a bout of insomnia he discovers Neil’s victims and realizes there’s a connection between all of them

(4/?) So then, by the time he’s moved in with Neil he’s been researching the case for a bit and he’s pretty invested in it since it’s more interesting than staring at a wall pretending to sleep. He’s got some insider information because he’s friends with Kevin, who is Wymack’s kid who is the Police chief, so he’s got a pretty good case going. Him and Neil connect more and more, because Neil’s snarky and not very happy with having to share a house and Andrew is mostly silent and also

(5/?) not happy about sharing a house, and then eventually Neil discovers Andrews research and is like “Fuuuuck” so then he starts changing things on the board to lead the evidence away from him, but Andrew’s got that eidetic memory so he realizes something way off and thinks someone’s messing with the board. He runs through all the people he’s let see it and realizes it’s only like Kevin and Neil, so he sets it up so it looks like the evidence is pointing at Neil to see if anything changes 

(6/6) and it does because Neil is like “oh hell no” and then I don’t know what to do from there, hopefully his distracted you from politics? Hope you have a good nightt!

—

HEY ANON IF YOU WROTE THIS I WOULD DIE IM ALREADY SO INVESTED

im just picturing a scene where neil comes home from a (local) murder that didnt go really smoothly, and he’s a bit shook up and bloodied and andrew does what andrew does best and cleans him up and defuses his panic and neil tells him he got mugged and andrew is like, sure, that tracks, neil is a disaster. 

eventually once the truth comes out and whatever fallout happens, happens, neil and andrew team up and youve got this hilarious case of resident serial killer neil josten coming home covered in blood and kissing his lawyer boyfriend on the head and andrew being like, ok, good work honey but also you need to be more careful about tracking blood into the house smh

aaron is hella suspicious of neil but in a protective brotherly way not an i-think-your-roommate-is-a-murderer way and neil finds it absolutely hilarious

[trans-son-of-perdition]

Why I relate the Trench album to my own personal life and struggles.

A couple things before I begin. I am aware the true meaning of this album relates to Tyler Josephs career and struggles with mental health. However, art is subjective. It’s meant to be interpreted however you want. I’m not trying to invalidate his experiences, this is just how the album helped me and how I related to it in a way that made it important to my life and my coping with realizations I had around the time Trench was being teased and released. This post is not meant to attack a specific faith, however given my own opinions and viewpoints this post could be uncomfortable for current believing members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. If you are uncomfortable with exmormon viewpoints, this might not be the post for you, and I would like it if you didn’t try to force your views onto me as a result of this post. I will also give warnings for abuse mentions, cult mentions, mentions of suicidal thoughts, and mentions of transphobia. 

In this post, I’ll go through each song in the album and explain what it relates to in my life. I’ll also go into the lore of Trench and how I relate to the Clancy letters, as well as explaining why my icon and blog banner are what they are.

If you have not heard this album, I recommend it entirely. And even if you have, I recommend listening along to this post. You do not need to be a fan of Twenty One Pilots or the album to read this, however, and you do not need to understand the deeper lore or know about the Clancy letters to read this post.

With that being said, this will be a long post, so I’ll put the rest under a read more. 

Let me begin by briefly introducing myself. I am a 22, nearly 23 year old Exmormon who was born and raised in the church near the heart of Salt Lake City, Utah. I was a devout member of this church until I was 15, which was when little things started to not make sense anymore. This was when I was shown that it was okay to feel differently about my gender and sexuality, when I started to realize there were words to describe why I felt so weird about the concept of being a girl, etc. In a lot of ways, 15 was when my faith started slipping. There are journal entries from then where I’m crying about how I didnt want to feel the way I did, it was kind of the usual young mormon kid has a crisis over their sexuality and gender and tries to pray about it over and over but nothing changes. I even had a moment at 17 where I found a place to hide where my family wouldnt hear me and prayed for about an hour because I was questioning if the church even was true. I got no answer to this.

By the time I was 18, I no longer attended church. I still called myself mormon, and was actually kind of an apologist for years. It was only early last year that I started realizing something didn’t seem right, which was what led to a very long beliefs crisis and eventually me formally resigning from the church. It was also the year that repressed memories finally started to surface, and the true extent to which I had been abused and neglected started to show. Near the end of 2018, one of my best friends helped me escape Utah and get far away from my family, and currently I am living happily in Arizona far from the church’s influence.

Now enter the Trench album.

Instantly, when the Jumpsuit video was first released, something felt comforting about it. And every song since has been extremely comforting to me because of how I have related it to my life. Here is how each song ((and even the videos and extra lore)) have helped me and have related to my life as a secret exmormon who felt trapped in Utah.

Jumpsuit

This song actually came out just as I was questioning the church and realizing some things that were very long. With every little thing I found that was wrong, it was like my life crumbled a little more. I’ll admit, the “spirits in my room” lines I took much more literally, having lived in a very haunted house in a very haunted part of Utah, but the lines “Felt it in my youth, feel it when I’m old” also felt like a reassurance to me that the doubts and feelings I had in highschool when I was just beginning to question myself and my life were valid. Like they weren’t just a passing phase, this was something that had been going on my whole life. And then we have the bridge. 

I'll be right there But you'll have to grab my throat and lift me in the air If you need anyone, I'll stop my plans But you'll have to tie me down and then break both my hands If you need anyone

My life up to this point had been manipulated by those around me. My parents controlled my actions, I sat there and let them abuse and disrespect me. If any of them needed anything, I jumped to help. This had spread into my other relationships as I felt the need to be there for everyone, be the personal therapist to everyone, try to fix the emotions and problems of everyone I knew because my family had made me think thats what I needed to do. Like in the video, I was very much stuck under the spell of the “smearing” of the bishops. My family knew how to manipulate my emotions into feeling like I was in the wrong, like I inevitably had to love them and follow them no matter what. Which was why the “Cover me!” screamed at the end makes my heart beat faster. In his “Cover me!” I felt my heart scream it too. I couldn’t out loud, because my family would have yelled at me and made my life hell, but I could scream inwardly with him. I could feel myself running from the bishops with him. That song felt more joyous, more releasing, and more moving to me than an LDS Hymn had in years. Even as I’m writing this, the “Cover me!” makes me feel deep and strong emotions that at one point I would have called “the spirit” or “the holy ghost” and its stronger than any feeling I attributed to those things from talks or lessons in the church.

Levitate 

This song actually gave me courage to be more openly myself again. To stand up for myself and look for other options. To admit that the way my life had been was fucked up and that there were better things out there. The line referencing Car Radio was cool to me, because Car Radio was a big song for my depression and dysphoria. I wont go into it too far, since I’m focusing on Trench music, but I’ve always taken Car Radio as a good way to describe how I felt about my life, the world, and my own dysphoria and struggles with suicidal thoughts. And so having this song tied to rebellion against how my life had always been reference another song that had helped me with coping was so encouraging to me and honestly really cool!

This culture is a poacher of overexposure, not today Don't feed me to the vultures, I am a vulture who feeds on pain.  

I mean. Come on. I lived in Utah. Utah culture is oversaturated in the church. Its in the politics, in the laws, in the tv shows and on the radio. There’s a ward building everywhere you go. You cant do anything without seeing it somewhere, at least not in big cities ((or at least not living as close to downtown Salt Lake City as I did.)) Admitting to being exmormon while there felt like I was risking being separated from the rest of society. While this isn’t entirely true, I grew up seeing how my family treated exmos. The way they treated them like poor misguided souls that would eventually have their “sins come crashing down on them and turn their hearts back to the church”. 

The next few lines are kinda self explanatory. “Sleep in a well-lit room, don't let the shadow through,” both refers to the whole “haunted house” thing I mentioned ((a story I wont go into here tbh)) as well as me using my room as the one place I could hide and be more myself, discuss the things I believed and thought. “And sever all I knew, yeah, sever all I thought” has to do with the slow realizations of the lies I had been taught by the church my whole life. The next few lines refer to what sounds like him asking for help to keep away from the ledges, which both feels like my reaching out to online friends for support both to reassure me that I wasn’t crazy as well as their help in keeping me away from my increasing suicidal thoughts.

The video actually felt like my chosen family in general, them getting me away from these ideas and worries I had had burned into my brain at a young age, pulling me out of this DEMA and into their Trench, where we all could support each other and help each other realize that the false things of our past didnt have to shape our futures for us. And much like Tyler, I was still struggling with my parents pulling me back in by tugging at my emotions, making me feel guilty for my rebellion.

Morph

Lets be honest, in order to explain this one I need to post the whole song. It feels like a mixture of my beliefs crisis and dealing with an abusive and transphobic family, to be honest. 

Can't stop thinking about if and when I die For now I see that "if" and "when" are truly different cries For "if" is purely panic and "when" is solemn sorrow And one invades today while the other spies tomorrow We're surrounded and we're hounded There's no "above", or "under", or "around" it For "above" is blind belief and "under" is sword to sleeve And "around" is scientific miracle, let's pick "above" and see For if and when we go "above", the question still remains Are we still in love and is it possible we feel the same? And that's when going "under" starts to take my wonder But until that time, I'll try to sing this

Here we have my crisis, where I was doubting my own doubts and wondering if I was wrong and truly destined to end up in a lower kingdom away from my family and if I was sinning. It led to a fear of death, a fear of the end of the world, a fear of anything related to it because what if the mormons were right? Honestly, this is an ongoing thing that causes panic attacks to this day, and this song is where I turn to when these doubts happen.

If I keep moving, they won't know I'll morph to someone else What they throw at me's too slow I'll morph to someone else I'm just a ghost I'll morph to someone else Defense mechanism mode

A lot of people in the transgender community have brought up that this is a really relateable few lines. I’d like to add on top of it being about my gender, it also can relate to how I spent years pretending to be someone else in front of a lot of people ((and still am to some extent, I’m working on that.)) in order to keep myself safe.

He'll always try to stop me, that Nicholas Bourbaki He's got no friends close but those who know him most know He goes by Nico, he told me I'm a copy When I'd hear him mock me that's almost stopped me

This part I actually relate to my younger brother, who is almost violently abusive towards me and who I have had not only threaten harm to me, but have had mock me and tell me that nobody truly cared about or loved me, along with much worse things that were so intense and awful that when my sister ((the only family member I truly trust)) heard it and told our parents what happened, they were legitimately worried about me knowing about my suicidal thoughts and were bugging me the entire time I was at work and while I walked home to make sure I was safe and okay. My brother is a horrible person, and I honestly am afraid for whoever ends up marrying him based on his treatment of everyone else in our family. My sister and I have even shared our concerns with each other that he could one day lash out and hurt/kill one of us. Hes one of the biggest reasons I and her hurried to leave the state as fast as we could.

Well we're surrounded and we're hounded There's no above or a secret door What are we here for? If not to run straight through all our tormentors? But until that time I'll try and sing this

This again relates to my family, along with the opinions of the church towards transgender and gay people. I don’t think I need to go into what the LDS church thinks of us. 

The final part of the song, to me at least, feels like the loneliness of my situation, and wanting someone to be open with in real life that would understand where I was coming from. It also is about my reaching out online when I couldn’t find support in person.

My Blood

I actually don’t need to go into this too deeply. My whole chosen family relates to this song, and so hearing it reminds me of them. This song is how we are to each other and how we feel about each other. Pretty straightforward. Especially since this song likely is about Tyler’s brother, so the fact we all consider each other brothers and sisters works with this.

Chlorine 

Another straightforward one. It kinda feels like I’m singing this to the people of my past. My family especially, but also the friends that were part of why I hid so much about myself. They were toxic, but I made myself stay near them out of love. And as I “decayed”, the feeling of rebellion started to grow more until I found myself running for my life away from them all. 

I'm so sorry, I forgot you Let me catch you up to speed I've been tested like the ends of A weathered flag that's by the sea Can you build my house with pieces? I'm just a chemical 

This final part is more towards myself, however. How I forgot the true me, how I’ve been broken and hurt by these people, and how I need to finally build my life up again away from them all.

Smithereens

Another one that makes me think of my chosen family, and makes me think of my best friend who helped me escape Utah. I’m not a violent person, I actually consider myself a pacifist. But if someone threatened my loved ones I’d do everything I could to stop them.

Neon Gravestones

Yeah, I had to get to this one eventually. This song hit me hard the first time I heard it. If you haven’t heard any songs from this album at all, THIS IS THE ONE YOU SHOULD HEAR. It speaks very bluntly about how fucked up the media’s portrayal of suicide is, among other issues around that theme. Its beautiful in my opinion. 

Obviously yes, as someone who struggles with suicidal thoughts, this song obviously does resonate with me. But this is where I’ll go into the deeper lore for a moment.

In the world of Trench it’s been mentioned that the Neon Gravestones are one of the big symbols of Vialism- the religion in DEMA that is a religion that worships false light. In Vialism, those who have died in the name of Vialism are revered, respected, and glorified. Now look at the church. How many people have had their hardships and deaths be romanticized by the church? How often have I heard people say that if you die in the name of the church, you will be exalted? How many LGBTQ+ youth in Utah have killed themselves because they think that its better to die before they have sinned? How often growing up has the “Martyrdom” of Joseph Smith been romanticized and used to show how committed to the church he was? For hell’s sake there’s a song WRITTEN ABOUT HIM saying that he now will be glorified for eternity because he died for the church! He’s held with more respect than even Jesus in the church! I could go on for hours about how I feel about the way the church treats death and how fucked up it is that there have even been cases you can find online where people have been told it would be better that they killed themselves than be gay or be an apostate. I’ll get more into the Neon Gravestones symbolism later when I reach the Clancy letters. 

The Hype

Yet another song about reaching out for support and community as I was realizing the truth about the church. I also had a huge falling out with a close friend around the time the album released, so having this song to cope with it helped too. It feels like the acceptance of the fact I was slowly getting out of brainwashing and programming I’d had since I was an infant, and though I didn’t know where I was going in life anymore, I knew that I would have the people I trusted there with me every step of the way as I became a normal member of society and began a new, better life. 

A lot of songs in this album seem to be very chosen family oriented. This one just feels like a reminder to myself that I’ll be okay.

Nico and the Niners

This one is a little obvious. But i’ll go through it regardless. 

East is up, I'm fearless when I hear this on the low East is up, I'm careless when I wear my rebel clothes East is up, when Bishops come together they will know that Dema don't control us, Dema don't control East is up

This song was released at the same time as Jumpsuit, and honestly some of the same things apply. I realized how much this really fit my life at the time as I was working on getting out. How the literal bishops and leaders of the church as well as the figurative “bishops” of my life were who I was rebelling against. DEMA is a something I have actively called Utah ((mostly Salt Lake City and all other areas in the main valley)) before, for reasons from it literally being a city surrounded in huge walls((both the mountains as well as figurative walls)) that circled around a main central part ((Temple square)) where the bishops resided and performed rituals in the name of Vialism. The next lines mention that they, the bishops, want you to make you forget. They want you to be docile. To conform to them. Follow their rules and laws and teachings without questioning. Ignore and forget the things they don’t say in the moment are truth. In the video, Tyler is seen quietly preparing to escape, hiding in his room as yet another ritual is performed elsewhere in the city. He sneaks out of his dark room, where he meets the Banditos. He seems hesitant and scared at first, but they calm him down and welcome him.

What I say when I want to be enough What a beautiful day for making a break for it We'll find a way to pay for it Maybe from all the money we made, razorblade stores Rent a race horse and force a sponsor And start a concert, a complete diversion Start a mob and you can be quite certain We'll win but not everyone will get out

During this part, Tyler is loudly rebelling in the center of a courtyard, where all the people hiding and silently judging the Banditos from their windows can see and hear them. He sings about escaping and finding ways to prepare to run away, escaping the walls of DEMA and the watchful eyes of the bishops and those devoted to them. It’s after this that his friends, the Banditos, help him escape into the night from DEMA before he can be caught by the bishops, but leaving a trace behind to hopefully inspire the children still growing up and learning inside DEMA.

I compare my chosen family to the Banditos a lot, something that will become clear when we get to a song later on. My open rebellion, being myself and leaving the church, leaving Utah and the judgmental eyes of those still devoted to the church and their teachings... This is what the song is to me. I’ll win, I’ll escape, I will do what I can to inspire my younger brothers and sister to follow me out when they can. I’ll do what I can to help anyone still stuck in their DEMA, but in the end I had to leave. I had to listen to my chosen family and run. I had to get out of those walls before the metaphorical bishops of my life, my family, dragged me back down again into them and broke me further. In that way, Nico and the Niners is both the presidency of the church, but its also my parents. 

Cut my Lip

This one actually speaks to how I used to be, letting myself be abused and mistreated. The cycle of trying to escape but being dragged back in. Knowing I was being hurt but letting my programming and the thought that I had to love my family no matter what hurt me over and over. But though I’m bruised, I’ll keep moving.

Bandito

This is the big chosen family song. We have called ourselves Banditos a lot. I personally consider myself a Bandito. 

This is the sound we make When in between two places Where we used to bleed And where our blood needs to be

We are all in Trench right now, to various extents. I am mostly out of my DEMA, having physically left it but still dealing with the mental battles and the pulls from the “bishops” to return. Other members of my chosen family are dealing with abuse, neglect, trauma, mental illnesses, isolation, etc. We all have our own DEMA to escape, and we all do what we can to pull each other back into Trench and support each other as a family. 

In city, I feel my spirit is contained Like neon inside the glass, they form my brain

In Utah I felt trapped. Confined by what I could and could not say around my family because I was afraid of what would happen if they knew some of the things about me. About my opinions of the church. I had realized my brain had been manipulated and formed into what the church wanted, and I was starting to break free of it.

But I recently discovered it's a heatless fire Like nicknames they give themselves to uninspire

The opinions of my family and the church have begun to feel less important and the thought of rebelling against this has become easier and I have become more confidant in my beliefs. 

Begin with bullet, now add fire to the proof But I'm still not sure if fear's a rival or close relative to truth Either way it helps to hear these words bounce off of you The softest echo could be enough for me to make it through

I’m still afraid though, and I still have doubts pop up. And until I can fully break free of the brainwashing I was subject to for 21 years of my life, I’ll still have those doubts and fears. But hearing my chosen family reassure me and validate those feelings I have about the church helps me get past it and grow as a person.

As far as Sahlo Folina? We use it in my chosen family. When we see each other say it, we hurry to support each other and pull each other back from the personal bishops we have. For those who don’t know, Sahlo Folina in the lore is the call the Banditos cry out when they are stuck alone in Trench and need help. It doesn’t have a canon meaning otherwise, but many people have given it the meaning of the joy or act of creating. And my chosen family and I use this phrase to warn each other of panic attacks, or of dysphoria, or of a moment when we just need a little validation. This song is so important to us, and is one of the most beautiful songs on the album in my opinion. If you haven’t heard it, take a look at imabandi.to, its an interactive music video for the song that explains some of the deeper lore of Trench and is in general visually stunning.

Pet Cheetah

Honestly this is really just a bop, but its good for when I feel angry. Not just even at the church, in general its a good anger song because of how intense it feels. It also speaks to the isolation I felt, how I tried to calm myself down from my doubts for the longest time. It helps that the song kinda has a “Fuck it” moment halfway through.

I'm done with tip-toeing, I'll stay in my room My house is the one where the vultures are perched on the roof

The song then expresses the fear of losing everything, but its too late now. The anxiety is raising again, but I’ll do what I can to relax and keep going. 

Legend

This song actually makes me cry, because it reminds me of my grandparents. They were the two I was closer to than my own parents, and I was destroyed by their deaths. Even though I still feel them with me, I deeply miss them and I was scared for so long that I would never be able see them again because according to the church, I would have not been allowed to be near them again for eternity. “I look forward to having lunch with you again.” is the line that has made me break down crying before, because I know that no matter what happens, it’ll be okay. I wont go into my current beliefs here, but I know that my grandparents love me and that no matter what I’ll still get to see them again one day. 

Leave the City

And now that i’m crying from legend, let me personally sob for a moment about Leave the City, because this song is what I played as I finally left Utah. On my main blog, the title comes from this song. 

I'm tired Of tending to this fire I've used up all I've collected I have singed my hands It's glowing Embers barely showing Proof of life in the shadows Dancing on my plans  They know that it's almost They know that it's almost over 

This song expresses how I felt from my depression, the doubts, the abuse, the ongoing crisis as I realized more and more how much I had been lied to. I was being reassured by my chosen family and my other friends that it would be alright, that I’d get away and life would be better. Now that I’ve been out of that state for several months I can say they were 100% right, but while in the moment I was drained and tired and just wanted to be free. And the knowledge that one day I would leave was what kept me going and kept me alive.

But this year Though I'm far from home In TRENCH I'm not alone These faces facing me They know What I mean

Again, this feels like my chosen family, my Banditos. My real family, the people I trust most. The know who I am. They know where i’m coming from. And though I’m far from my end goals in life, and I’m still here in Trench, I am not alone. I have them with me, and for now that is what matters. 

Now, onto the lore and Clancy letters. Because honestly my relating to this doesn’t just stop at the music.

The following are quotes from the many “Clancy letters” that have come out sine the album was being teased.

Note 1:

As a child, I looked upon Dema with wonder, today, I am wrought with frustration, as I spend each day squinting for a glimpse of the top of the looming wall that has kept us here. It was upon my ninth year that I learned that Dema wasn’t my home. This village, after all of this time, was my trap. 

Before I became realized, I had deep affection for Dema. There was a wonderful structure to the city that put my cares to rest. Streets and locations were dependable, and the responsibilities of the day seemed to be accomplished with minimal effort. Once a task was taught and understood, we delighted in our ability to complete our obligations timely, and felt secure in knowing tomorrow's duties would be accomplished with the same efficiency. We all worked to represent our bishop with honor, and knew that each inhabitant of our region had a like-minded dedication to consistency.

Note 2:

To refer to Dema as my home has never felt accurate. Dema, to me, has simply been the place that I’ve existed, or, the 'slot' they've put me in. I've heard stories about the idea of "home," and its depiction has always seemed warm from the storyteller's description. There was a romantic ownership of the place they inhabited that I admired, but could never relate to.

Note 3:

Am I the only one who realizes that we've been lied to? Am I the only one not afraid of the notion that the nine have hijacked our trust, and extinguished the hope that once motivated our existence? We used to close our eyes and picture a better life, now this city is full of dry eyes caught in a trance of obedience, devoid of any trace of an identity.......My hope of something more is all I have in this rigid tomb, and I will not let it die.

I wanted to quote the fifth note, but the whole thing feels relatable to me as someone who left Utah. So here is the full letter:

I've made it out. I feel weightless. I know that place had always held me down, but for the first time, I can feel the unity that I had hoped for. It's been three nights now, and my breathing has changed - it's slower, and more full. It's like the air out here is actually worth taking in. I can see it back in the distance, and I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't constantly on my mind. I wish I could turn that fear off, but maybe the further I go, the less that fear will affect me. I feel betrayed by what I assumed was home. If I ever end up back there, I won't be able to look at it the same way. They are asleep. They're so sure that they know the truth, and carry on throughout their day with the same meaningless tasks. They've forgotten to look up, and to look outward, to understand that this isn't about 'in there.' This is about 'out here.' This new world surrounds me. I used to think the walls back home were massive- these green cliffs engulf me, and place me right in the middle- Trench is quite precarious at times, and it's easy to grow weary. But it's real, and it's true, and I'd much rather endure reality than to mindlessly be obedient to a life that someone else created for me. I've obsessed about this world for so long, that it feels more like home than anything I've experienced. Somehow, in this vast openness, I feel more protected than ever. The landscape feels endless, and I've found myself walking for hours without any true evidence of getting further down. But I've seen plants and colors out here that I'm not sure I've witnessed before. There's a beauty in the strangest places,- and the curiosity of what's next continues to motivate me. I wonder who else is out here. If what i assumed inside is true, there's got to be more like me. Sometimes I'll feel a presence, only to look up and see nothing. It's just another thing that I'm afraid of that also excites me. It all just confirms all of the things that I hoped to be true for all of this time. I am out here and I am very alive. I'm sometimes scared, but always discovering something new, and I will not stop. Cover me!

I’m not going to go into why these relate, it should be clear from my explanations of the songs why I can relate to these letters. If you are exmormon yourself, you might understand already anyway. 

Now finally, I’ll go into the letters in the site that I mentioned earlier, imabandi.to. These are actually where my blog icon and banner come from.

Remember when I explained Vialism? One of the notes goes further into it. 

The text reads “The necropolis glorifies the early graves of those who lost themselves along the way. Let us overthrow this concept as a symbol of dedication to and celebration of life.” and is accompanied by a caption that reads: 

STEADFAST IN OUR REBELLION AGAINST THE TEACHINGS OF VIALISM, WE TURN THEIR FALSE DOCTRINE UPON ITS HEAD. PROTECTED MORE THAN EVER, THE DOUBLE BARS ARE A SYMBOL OF LIFE AND HOPE. 

Overturning the symbol of false doctrine in order to celebrate the concept of life and being alive. This is what I want to do. Life should be enjoyed and celebrated and not controlled and given up for false teachings.

The icon for this blog is the Vulture symbol of the banditos. It comes from this note:

It reads: “The fear and pain shall not be elements that stop us, but what feeds us to persevere. The vultures above are our symbol of turning death to life.” And its caption reads:

WE ARE VULTURES. THE VULTURE SEES BOTH WORLDS, DEVOURING DEATH. A SYMBOL OF OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO TURN DEATH INTO LIFE. MAY WE LEARN FROM WHAT WE'VE LOST, AND COMMIT TO LIVING.

So another symbol of committing to being alive and to life itself. It is to me a symbol of rebellion against the things I was taught and becoming my own, free person.

Finally, the banner I use on my blog. 

This one I have compared to being an apostate. The caption reads: 

THOSE WHO SEE CORRUPTION INSIDE THE LIES OF DEMA FEEL A RESPONSIBILITY TO GET OUT, AND ATTEMPTED ESCAPE SHOULD BE HONORED. MANY ARE PUNISHED WITH THE FAILED PERIMETER ESCAPE BADGE, BUT WEAR IT PROUDLY. IT IS THEIR SYMBOL OF THE BANDITØ UNDERGROUND — THE FEW, THE PROUD, AND THE EMOTIONAL. 

The label apostate is used often by people in religions as a label meant to shame, but we use it proudly. There are posts I have even seen about how “Apostate” means freed slave, and how it is a thing to be proud of. Much like how the note above says: “ We shall call our label of delinquince by a new name. This is who we are, and let us never be ashamed by the penalty placed upon us by false authorities.” I’m not ashamed to call myself an apostate anymore. I feared it at one point, but now I embrace it. It is what I am. I am freed, I am openly defying and rebelling against the false teachings of my childhood. And seeing this note was what solidified me relating this album and its lore to my life entirely. In my opinion, I escaped my DEMA. I saw the outside of the walls and was helped by those around me to escape them and find true freedom beyond them, in Trench. And although it will be a long time before I am truly free from the trauma and leftover programming that happened to me while I was in the LDS church, I have those around me who will reassure me and support me and let me know that I am never alone.

Anyway. I’m finally at the end of the post. Thank you for reading this. Cover me!

[operation-hbd]

Always With You

Of Ladybugs, Past and Present

Section 1: Akumatization

Catrina lost her parents only a few months prior and is now staying with aunt and grandma

Elena was ready to go off on the little brat. Nothing she did was good enough for Catrina. Taking her in and pretending like she was ready to be a mom just so Trina would stay with family? ‘I don’t want you – I want my parents!’ Getting a more expensive, family-friendly apartment in Paris? ‘I miss Guadalajara – I hate this place!’ Making fresh soup for dinner despite being fucking exhausted after work? ‘I don’t want it – I only like the way Mami makes it.’ She took it all in stride. It was fine, Catrina’s just a kid being how kids are, she’d tell herself. But not today. No, today she’d come home to find glass on the floor. That snot-nosed little monster had broken all the picture frames she kept at the entrance. The pictures were left lying around carelessly. She remembered Catrina calling them ‘tacky’ before, but this was Elena’s house and, goddamnit, if she wanted to have a wall full of family photos then she was going to have her damn wall with family photos and no six-year-old would change that. Elena marched to her niece’s preferred hiding spot and shoved the coat closet’s sliding door aside, ready to take out all her pent-up frustrations on the girl. She glared down at the usually hostile child but her fury died out as she looked into those big brown eyes. Her sister’s eyes. She looked so... small. Huddled in the corner of the closet, eyes brimming with tears, and a scrunched photograph held tightly to her chest. Elena’s heart shattered at the sight; she knew that photograph. I was of Monica and Fernando back when they’d first announced their engagement. Fernando hugged Moca tightly to him with a big stupid grin spread over his face; her smile was adorned by a blush as she held up her left hand to display an elegant diamond ring. In the corner sat Orejas, Fernando’s shaggy mutt with ears too long, too wide, and too floppy to have any right to be on a dog. Elena wasn’t sure what hurt more, the picture of Monica or the way Catrina clutched it like a lifeline.

“Trina?” At that, the little one’s tears finally broke free. “Shhh, shhhh,” she murmured as she dropped to pull Catrina into her arms, “no llores, amor. You just need to give it a little bit more time. You’ll see. The wounds will heal, you just–”

“Stop it! You know that’s not true!”

“What’s not true?” Elena asked the small girl in front of her.

“Time! You say time will make it stop hurting, but the more time that passes the more I miss them. And when I think about all the time that’s still left– all the years I’ll go through without them... I just- I really miss them,” she rubbed at the tears spilling down her cheeks, “and time won’t make it better because it won’t bring them back. It won’t let me be with them.” Her small shoulders started to shake as her lungs filled with sobs. “I j-just –– w-wa-nn-nt –– t-t-to b-be –– w-i-thh th-them!”

“Oh honey, but you are! They’re always with–”

“Th-at-t’s –– n-not ––  wh-at-t I –– m-meant!”

 She sighed; of course that’s not what she’d meant. Elena had known what she meant because she wanted it too. Because she missed her big sister too and no amount of time would change that. She missed Monica and her stupid jokes and her stupid nagging and even her stupid husband, who could always bring out Monica’s stupid smile after her and Elena had gotten in some stupid argument. But what the hell else was she supposed to say? ‘You’re right, kid, time won’t bring them back and nothing will ever get better. You’ll be filled with grief for the rest of your life because my sister is a rotting corpse underneath some dirt back in Mexico and all she left you with was me.’ Psh, yea right. She doubted Monica would approve of that response. Elena groaned, rubbing her temples as she tried to think of some way to comfort her crying niece. She wasn’t ready to take care of a kid. She wasn’t ready for any of this. But she had to at least try.

“Listen–  shhh, Trina, just–  just listen for a sec, okay?” she pleaded with the child, stroking her hair until she’d calmed down a bit. 

SOME STUFF ABOUT DÍA DE LOS MUERTOS AND SETTING UP OFRENDAS TO BRING MONICA AND FERNANDO TO PARIS. 

Catrina, who is taking all of Elena’s words very seriously, says the graves are in Mexico and how will they possibly know to come here

Elena, happy that Trina finally stopped sobbing and taking victory in the small amount of hope sparkling in her eyes, tells her they’ll just need to put up a whole bunch of marigolds because those are what guides the spirits when they cross over.

...

Happy for a few weeks, Trina is excited about setting up the ofrenda with her aunt and wants to make it the best one ever. 

Elena begins to suspect this whole thing may be going a bit too far and finally realizes Catrina thinks they’ll really appear when she mentions being excited for her dad’s big squishy hugs again and her mom’s gentle singing when she put her to bed... but Elena can’t bring herself to tell Trina that it’s all just symbolic when the little one is finally happy.

Elena puts it off too long and it’s November 2nd and no parents have appeared.

Catrina refuses to accept that she’s really never seeing them again after having built up so much hope; instead she convinces herself it’s because they could only get pot marigolds instead of the big Mexican marigolds.

Catrina runs away, getting into random metro before Elena can get to her; it’s night and the trains are more sparse so she ends up alone and scared and very very sad. 

Cue: Hawk Moth. 

TRINA IS AKUMATIZED INTO CEMPASÚCHIL, A VILLAIN NAMED AFTER THE MEXICAN MARIGOLDS PUT ON OFRENDAS WHO LOOKS LIKE A MARIGOLD-THEMED CALAVERA CATRINA  (yes... the skeleton ladies are called Catrinas... and yes... that’s why I named the kid Catrina) WITH THE POWER TO BRING FORTH THE SPIRITS OF DECEASED LOVED ONES BY BLOWING PETALS FROM HER BOUQUET OF MARIGOLDS/WHOOSHING THEM OUT. 

Her tears are marigold petals; when the tears fall any ghosts that have been summoned get glowy orange eyes and do her bidding.

TRINA’S GOAL IS TO FIND ELENA AND HIT HER W THE PETALS SO SHE CAN SEE HER PARENTS.

THE GHOSTS ARE MORE LIKE MEMORIES THAN SOULS THOUGH BECAUSE "it would take a lot more than Hawk Moth to bring back the dead, even if it were just temporary” so THEY ARE EMOTIONALLY NUMBED - WHICH IS WHY THEY’D ALL ACTED AS CEMPASÚCHIL’S MINIONS.

THE GHOSTS CAN RECALL SOME THINGS BUT MOSTLY LIMITED TO THEIR SHARED EXPERIENCES WITH THE PERSON HIT. 

The ladybugs will be present in full because they’re brought about when Tikki is hit & Tikki is a deity that had fused with their souls before (+ Kwagatama stuff)

...

Tikki’s POV: Mari’s out coming back from doing some more designs for Kitty Section. Tikki scolds her for being out so late because it’s dangerous and she’s gonna miss her curfew. Mari is trying to shove stuff into her purse, while holding other stuff, while trying to keep the stuff inside the purse from falling out (while tikki floats and judges but like loving judgment). She’s walking back when Cempasúchil sends a wave of glowing petals her way. Marinette jumps out of the way and manages to dodge it all but her stuff falls. When Cempasúchil is out of sight Mari hurries back to the pile of petals, which are no longer glowing, covering her purse / papers / notes / TIKKI / pencils / phone. Tikki says she’s fine but has a bit of a headache. They hurry after Cempasúchil. Tikki starts to get brief flashes of memories of her past Bugs, but tried to ignore it. When they find Cempasúchil, Mari asks if Tikki’s sure she’s ready to transform. Tikki says yes. “Alright then, Spots On!” Last comment is Tikki getting flooded with the presence of her past Ladybugs, feeling all of their memories from all their lifetimes in a single moment as Marinette transforms. Once inside the earrings, Tikki blacks out ... too much “interference” for her to be consciously present during the fight despite her growing bond with Mari; though she has been fusing much more harmoniously with Marinette recently, this time it feels like she’s being pulled in too many different directions and can’t focus on Marinette. 

Section 2: Akuma Fight

Marinette feels the transformation is different. She can’t feel Tikki’s familiar presence but she can feel power. Her head starts hurting too when she tries to mentally reach out to Tikki so she stops trying. Lucky Charm still works though and she’s stronger/has more energy. 

It’s not a long fight. Though that’s entirely because of Mari. Chat seems distracted... he moves slowly. She has to pull him out of the way a few times and he apologizes for being in a daze. After he basically reaches out for the glowing petals and she has to lasso him back with a yoyo, she snaps and asks if he wants to get hit or something. He admits that he’s tempted... Says he just needs to know... Ladybug asks what it is he needs to know but he won’t meet her eyes.

*** hitch, switch, or ditch? He admits he needs to know if his mo- if someone important to him is dead or not. Ladybug tells him that she can’t have him even more distracted and that if the person did appear it would only be a shadow of them, not the real them. He’d just end up even more emotionally compromised. Also, if the person did die does he really want to learn about it like this?? He basically just stays in the spot for the rest of the fight, looking at the petals with longing. Without needing to be watching out for him, LB finished off the akuma pretty fast cuz she has enhanced energy. 

*** hitch, switch, or ditch? When she casts the cure the ladybugs seem to linger near her, as if confused. They don’t try to fix her cuz she didnt get hurt, but they’re clearly trying to fix something. They keep bumping into each other as they circle about and then finally one lands on her hand and fades into pink light. The others fly off to take care of all the damage from Cempasúchil.

*** hitch, switch, or ditch? For some reason her earrings aren’t beeping after summoning Lucky Charm or after casting the cure? Chat points it out and says that they can hang out for once. Since he didn’t have to use cataclysm and her powers didn’t start the countdown for whatever reason. This just puts Mari on edge cuz she remembers Tikki got hit and is worried something is wrong. 

She hurries back so she can detransform, to Chat’s displeasure cuz “you’re not even out of time though!”, and check on Tikki. 

When she asks Tikki what was up the little kwami shrugs. “It was weird... I got a flash of memories and then I think I slept through the fight? I feel fine now though!” 

*** hitch, switch, or ditch? When Mari tells Tikki about the weird way the ladybugs acted, Tikki says her head doesn’t hurt anymore so maybe that’s what the ladybugs were doing. Clearly the cure must have worked - but she’s still starving.

Marinette laughs and hands her a cookie, giving Tikki a kiss on the forehead and promising her an entire box of macarons when they get back home.

Section 3

Section 4

Section 5:

Section 6: Closing* the Portal

Written in: 3, 4, 5, or 6 parts because @frostymoon11 and I have a lot of thoughts... also depends on whether @ozmav still wants to write for this and, if so, how much. Otherwise it’s how much Frosty and I can undertake on our own. Sectioning it into 6 above but we can combine sections if we wanna have less parts.

Part Titles (with alliteration)

Liars and Lessons // Liars and Legends // Liars and Loopholes

Marigolds and Memories // Mourning and Memories

Partings and Promises // Payback and Promises // Promises and Perseverance // Punishments and Promises // Bonds and Balance 

Revenge and Revelations

Spirits and Stories

Vengeance and Vows

Feel free to edit this post directly.

[onceabluemoonwrites]

Title: A Funeral Shroud of Tulle Author: OnceABlueMoon Rating: T Pairing: Kozato Enma & Suzuki Adelheid

Tags/Warnings: The Simon Massacre, trauma

Summary:   The thing people rarely remember about Enma was that his sister had been his twin. In which the Simon children raise themselves after the massacre, do a lot of damage to each other, and love each other anyway.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Katekyo Hitman Reborn.

Written for the @khrrarepairweek   Vday Mini-Event 2019, for February the 13th, with the prompt ‘‘Backup Twin’‘

Kozato Chinatsu considered herself to be a very lucky woman, and it had a lot to do with her children. Since the minute they’d been born, she hadn’t stopped smiling, every day a ray of light. The twins were her treasure, with the island as a grand treasure chest. It was paradise.

She counted herself a very lucky lady, and the day she died she found out why.

Because her luck would run out before her time.

(She died trying to block the door to her son’s bedroom).

Entering the main house was hard- Adel had waited for nightfall before even attempting to leave her hiding place. She’d waited until the screams died down. She’d waited hours upon hours for someone to get her, but nobody came and she needed to confirm it was not because there was nobody left. She refused to believe that. She could not allow herself to believe that.

That did not make it easier to leave her hiding place. The fear of encountering the slaughterer of her people was ever present in her shaking body, but she strode forward. She could not stand still- if she stood still, she would die before their killer would even reach her. She would perish, falling to her knees, dying slowly of grief, and she could not stand still, could not let that happen.

She needed to find survivors. Having someone else to care for should distract her enough.

So. The main house.

She did not know what had been harder- walking past their corpses, or listening to their screams while being unable to do a thing about it, hiding in a closet, in the dark, praying to God nobody would find her.

She averted her eyes from Kozato-san when she came to Enma’s bedroom- it was okay. It was alright. Kozato-san might be dead, but surely, surely she’d have protected Enma. Kozato Chinatsu had loved the fiercest out of every person Adel knew, and her cold corpse could not mean anything, because death would not stop a love as fierce as that.

Adel had to believe that.

(Adel was lying through her teeth)

The corpse was small, the corpse was redheaded, and it still clutched the twin’s stuffed rabbit to its chest, even in death. The soft, worn white fabric was drenched in rusty red- blood beginning to dry.

Adel’s heart stopped.

Of course, she found out it was Mami later, but at the time she couldn’t bring herself to look at the mutilated body of her best friend. All she could think when she saw him, alive and well, was "Thank god it was Mami." It was ugly but true. She’d been so grateful he was alive. Perhaps that was were the difference in attitude after the massacre came from- whereas Adel thought "Thank god it was Mami,", Enma thought "Why was it Mami? Why not me?" And drowned in his own apparent uselessness, rid of his precious twin.

(The beginning of the end)

Adel was ten and she had no idea what to do, but she did know they had to leave the island. They didn't have the manpower to bury the corpses of their family, and even if they did, she was pretty sure they wouldn't have been able to take doing it anyway. They had to leave the island, the corpses unburied, trauma rampant.

Julie was the one who stopped them from going immediately. He was eleven, the eldest, and even though he never had a leading bone in his body, he knew about stuff. Like the fact that if they went out there, they'd be put in the system.

“We won't last a day out there- seven kids living alone will be noticed. On the other hand... Seven kids and a slightly absentee guardian? It'll attract attention, but it could work.”

Adel sized him up. “...Who are you going to impersonate?”

Julie grimaced. “The person with the most money on the island. Kozato Makoto.”

Enma, to say the least, did not take it well.

Seeing his dead father’s face was far from Enma’s biggest problems, though it was a painful one. Honestly, most of the time he couldn’t look in the mirror. Mami’s face was staring back at him. He saw her grow up there, along with him, until his jaw was wide, his shoulders broad, and stubble encroached on his cheeks. Then he couldn’t pretend it was her anymore.

(It broke him a little)

Sometimes, it was like Enma had died instead of Mami. At first, it was subtle. Enma’s countenance became fiercer, more like the leader he’d never really been to them. Adel thought it was a result of the slaughter of their family- but soon it became clear it was not.

Not at all, really. Because Enma’s hair was growing out. First past his chin. Then his shoulders. Then his waist. Long, red hair, tumbling down his back, wavy curls framing his face. This was the second sign.

The third, however, was unmistakable. The long skirts, the dresses. The plastic cherries on the elastics he used to do his hair. They’d been Mami’s favourite when she was still alive.

That was what did it. The realization struck her like a lightning bolt, leaving charred skin, burned hair and the stench of ozone behind.

The fierce attitude, the hair, the clothing, the way he talked to them even. Everything was modelled after his sister. It was like Kozato Enma had disappeared into the mists of time, obscured under the ghost of his sister. Adel felt like throwing up.

She didn’t know what to do.

(She never did)

Life went on. They went to school. They ate. They survived. And slowly, very slowly, they healed. Enma did not stop pretending to be Mami, and while uncomfortable with it, nobody spoke up about it. Not until it got worse.

Enma was approaching thirteen now and hitting his first growth spurt. He shot up in height, his jaw was widening, becoming squarer, and his shoulders were becoming broader. The dresses could not hide it. He bought frillier ones anyway.

It was when she saw plastic surgery sites in his internet history that Adel snapped.

"Enma, Mami's the dead one. She was buried. Not you. Not you!" Adel picked up the scissors and grabbed his hair harshly- long strands of blood red hair falling to the ground as if shedding the hair would make Mami's funeral shroud fall off Enma's shoulders. Enma's shaking, and Adel had no idea what she was doing- for all she might know she just caused even more trauma- but... Adel has had no idea what she had been doing since she was ten and fished her friend from the ashes left of their village. Since she took them from among the corpses. So she says the only thing that kept her going at that time: "Even if you feel like you're being buried alive, rescue the others from the same fate before you let them suffocate you forever." He listened. It was like Mami died all over again, and all that was left is a crying boy in a frilly pink skirt, red hair choppy, unevenly cut. Short. It was hard, but it was a beginning. It was grieving Mami all over again, it was Enma figuring out how to be Enma instead of Mami. It was a lot of things. Enma was not the leader Mami-Enma was, but Adel believed in him. He would make it. (Enma never grew his hair out again).

The Enma before Tsuna wore black hoodies and jeans. The Enma before Tsuna was bullied terribly. The Enma before Tsuna was so filled with grief and rage, every single thing brought up to the surface again. The Enma before Tsuna attacked.

The Enma with Tsuna was still sad. He still got bullied. He still didn’t know who he was, but by now he’s realized that would probably be something he’ll chase after his whole life. The task of a lifetime, finding out who one is. But the Enma with Tsuna also has friends; People not as easily dragged into the rage and the desperation and the grit of their nightmares. He is less angry, happier, and he wears flowy lavender blouses that make him soft and sweet but do not hide his broad shoulders in any way. His hair is short, the memory of being Mami-Enma forever haunting him, as if growing his hair out again would tempt him into falling back into old bad habits.

The Enma with Tsuna made Adel question herself a lot. Both the actions she had taken in the years before, as well that one disastrous conversation that may have helped him for the better, but had most likely damaged him terribly as well. There are misunderstandings to be cleared up, and Adel won’t let corpses lie unburied (and believe her, she has buried far too many).

The Enma with Tsuna is the one Adel goes to talk to.

‘'...You know I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to be a girl, right? It’s just being Mami that I had a problem with. Because you’re Enma. You’re Enma and I love you for you, however you want to be.’'

Enma looked up, hands caressing the grass they were seated upon softly, and the expression on his face so gentle, so sweet, that Adel could not help but hold her heart, breathless. ‘'I don’t think I’m a girl, Adel. I don’t really think I’m a boy either. I’m just... Enma.’'

A smile crept up on Adel’s face as she took his hand, laying back into the grass and enjoying the warm afternoon sun. ‘'That’s enough, Enma. That’s more than enough.’'