#(and also keeping them in check)
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Obsessed with this bit in the preface to the 10th Anniversary edition of Ancillary Justice:
Specifics aside, "I thought this would be fun and relaxing. It was not." is a great summation of what happens with like 80% of creative endeavors.
#imperial radch#also liked the bit where she mentioned checking the AO3 page for her works to see the numbers go up#even though obviously she doesn't read them#i need to write at least one Radch fic. for her. make those numbers keep ticking.
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one of these nights
#trigun#trimax#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vash centric?#vashwood#<- if u want it to be#its about the codependency of it all🤌#going back to my old art from this past summer and trying to finish them part.1#tried to fix the dialogues so many times bc no they wouldnt fcking say that#was reading trimax vol.1-2 at the time so i got inspired to sprinkle some of the slight tension they had going on👍👍#vash turning miserable & acting like a dog who got left in a cardboard box under the rain when the guy who keeps him in check leaves shortl#if 98' vash is the silly over-drinking with strangers type when he's by himself then trimax vash is the moppy lone wolf drinker#i need more miserable drunk vash#also the way i ended the last page unintentionally makes it look like the prequel to my <Heartbeat> comic haha#drafted both around the same time and i didnt even realize#raepliica_art
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alternate bad ending
(inspired drabble under the cut)
Lucanis has been taught to accept death since he was a child. He's trained in it. He's used to it. But that doesn't mean what family he has left isn't important to him. Rather it's what matters to him most.
Then he gets imprisoned and tortured. He watches people die, week after week for a year. He's made to think he's going to die at any moment. Made to think that his family is dead. But he doesn't know.
Then you come along, set him free, return him home to find only one family member left, the other probably dead after all. But he still doesn't know.
Then she's alive, imprisoned by the same person that imprisoned him, the other living relative. But he can't kill him. He won't be the reason to lose what he has left, and there's so little left.
But then there's you, who's shown him compassion he's never known, that there's something more than just family/contracts/enemies. That it's safe to be vulnerable around someone.
But he's scared to get close. Scared he'll hurt you. Scared he'll lose you, to himself, to a god, to something he can't kill.
Then his walls start to break. He doesn't know what he'd do without you. And then you disappear. You might be dead. A day, a week, a month goes by. You're still not back. You're probably dead. He thinks he'll never see you again.
It's weeks of not knowing, and he's wasted all this time fearing he'd only take time away from you, time he could have given you instead of pushing you away, and he's lost you anyway. You could have both been happier, if he wasn't so broken.
Then you're back, and nothing else matters, there's no holding back. He'll do anything to protect you, you are his sole purpose now. This he knows, more than anything.
Then the battle is over, the gods are dead, and so are you in his arms. He couldn't protect you.
He knows death. He knows you're dead.
But only now after decades without, does he remember what it's like to grieve.
#needed to get this out of my system :') i put way too much effort into those wings and needed to scale them back but im really proud of them#i tried to keep rook ambiguous so we can ALL share in the angst <3#dragon age veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#da4#evt draws#rook x lucanis#also this is my first time glazing art which is why it has those weird wrinkly distortions#i made a lockscreen version too just to punch myself in the face every now and then when i check my phone and forget lol
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Do you like sci-fi and indie animation? Check out Monkey Wrench!
#monkey wrench#digital art#This series is very delightful and also in need of more attention!#Usually I would ramble about why love it - however I am going to go a little off the rails and talk about something else.#Namely that this is a gift for a very dear friend who loves this series a lot! One of my favourite people of all time!#Thank you for so many things. For keeping me going when times are dark. For sticking by in the hard times.#Thank you for the incredible soup and the fun moments! For the great recommendations on series.#I sometimes feel like I should thank the universe for letting our paths cross when they did.#It feels cheesy to say all this but I really am such a better person because of you.#Thank you for reading all my silly comics even though you have *no* idea what is going on in them. It means a lot.#My gift of a silly doodle and hopefully getting a few people to check out this show is not adequate to express my gratitude.#But hey - we've got the rest of our lives to keep saying thank you.#Love you lots mate. Can't say it enough B'*)
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Hold me back 😡😡😡
#Make your own context for what's going on here! Who made them so angry?#Fuyuhiko kuzuryu#Hajime hinata#Kuzuhina#Sdr2#Super danganronpa 2#Danganronpa 2#Danganronpa#Sometimes I just dont have the patience to refine a sketch OR wait to post#So I'll rb this tonight hehe#An art#Thoughts: Fuyuhiko does snap very often and his anger issues don't evaporate even tho he's doing better#So he does need someone to keep him in check especially around the traumatized rest of the class who do not like being threatened or yelled#Hajime stays much cooler but if he DOES snap he also needs something grounding for his own sake#strong emotions can blind him for a moment and he's too strong for his own good
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going through some old logs, and I need you to understand just how truly unhinged early 2010s RP omegle was.
genuinely you could stay on there for hours with just one person, hashing out complex traumatic backstories, drawn-out love confessions, detailed action scenes...collaboratively describing graphic violence, past abuse, comfort, hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, any number of sex acts...and then one of you would be like, "oh haha it's 2AM! I have to sleep :(" and the other person would say, "omg saaaame. :( gnight!!!" and then you'd exit the chat and never speak to each other again, and this was. fine.
you could just spend an entire evening shoving your wretched, bleeding soul into a chat log with someone you'd never meet or learn the name of, achieve some form of emotional catharsis, and then go about your day or night like this was an average way to spend your time.
I'm really normal about this, actually
#sbs rambles#omegle#it wasn't always serious ofc. there was a lot of lighthearded silliness#but I usually went in for the darker sadder stuff that built up to a happy ending#there's really a special form of intimacy when you and an internet stranger are each controlling a fictional character#and describing them doing things like bandaging each other's wounds#checking each other for bruises. asking them to talk about what they've been through. great stuff!#I hope there are still places where people do stuff like this. like I know there are forums and servers for this but that's not the same.#and I mean. I keep thinking ''there must be other places like this!'' but then I remember the goodbye message when omegle shut down#and...I dunno. the internet is different now#we don't live in that world anymore#anyway if you ever RP'd sherlock stuff on omegle you might have talked to me. :) we might have written something together#and despite it being superwholock-era fandom “cringe”#I'm proud of that#that was a really important part of my life#it was fun :) though I definitely had issues I wasn't willing to confront yet lmao#and I wish I had saved more of the logs :/#oh! I also liked the moments where you'd have to take a break#like you could be right in the middle of something intense and then the other person would be like#(brb I have to finish making dinner for my husband) and you'd say (sure!)#and then 20mins later you'd start up again where you left off
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I keep thinking about Merlin’s love for Arthur and how it’s so clearly portrayed in the show to the point that it practically drives the plot of the show. However when it comes to Arthur’s love for Merlin it’s more subtle and sometimes difficult to even grasp, and I started thinking why that was, aside from the obvious fact that Arthur has a lot of trouble expressing his emotions affection or otherwise. I think it also lies in the fact that Merlin knows Arthur intrinsically throughout the show; he is one of the closest people to Arthur, and sees him for who he really is. Arthur admits as much.
Sure, Arthur knows Merlin but the main part of the plot is that he really doesn't know Merlin. Merlin wants him to desperately understand him and “see me for who I am” but he can't yet. And I think this subconsciously creates a barrier in the way in which Arthur can care for Merlin, and how Merlin can let himself be seen by Arthur.
Which is why I think he was also so hurt when the magic reveal happens because more than the betrayal of Merlin having magic, it was the betrayal of Merlin not letting Arthur see him for who he really is and for hiding a main part of himself. Arthur says it himself “why did you never tell me” that’s what hurt him the most.
I think the most damning piece of evidence for this is the fact that while we see snippets of Arthur’s feelings for Merlin thought the show, the biggest signs are in the last episode after the magic reveal; in which he finally gets to understand Merlin, and this time REALLY know Merlin, and as the barriers of what held them back from understanding each other truly fall away, Arthur evidently “falls in love with Merlin all over again”. We see him actually express himself to Merlin.
This is another reason why I think if anyone was ever to create another season of Merlin after Arthur’s return, it’s physically impossible not to make it about Merlin and Arthur acknowledging their feelings for each other. Because there is no way forward without them acknowledging how deeply they care for each other, obviously anyone is free to argue what kind of love that is, but its impossible not to see the deep love there either way.
They always knew they loved each other, just maybe never realising how much and what that means, because its almost second nature to everything that they do.
#merlin meta#bbc merlin#merthur#ignore me im literally just rambling#im not sure this even makes sense but i had to yap it out anyway!!#i think merlins love for Arthur surpasses his destiny in a way#He foresakes himself and his people just to ensure Arthur lives#but that turned out to be the undoing of them all#I cannot stress enough how insane this makes me#its sometimes harder to look at Arthur and understand how his love for merlin takes form#but the way he starts taking small steps to check in on merlin when he's being particularly quiet#or noticing the changes in merlin is a good indicator because it is so completely opposite his nature#and ofc the way in which he trusts merlin so completely#remember this is a man who has constant problems with people he chooses to trust#and he also shows time and time again how far he's willing to go beyond the accepted norms to also protect merlin#I think it was always harder for him to allow himself to open about his emotions#and it was much easier to keep it under lock and key to avoid it being seen as a weakness#Obviously thanks to Uthers A+ parenting which could not have helped#but as the seasons go on he begins to open up and thats no small part in thanks to merlins influence in his life#and when it comes to the finale they are both boiled down to raw emotion having to face each other#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon
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predisasters
#phighting#phighting art#subspace phighting#medkit phighting#art#subspace#medkit#predisaster tag#i think young subspace often gets way too overconfident and there's like a 50/50 chance it'll end weirdly well for him or very badly instea#medkit is the down to earth guy to keep him in check... maybe. if he feels like it#but more often than not he finds more amusement in seeing subspace eat shit. he thinks it's funny#though even when he does try subspace is too stubborn to listen to him. so medkit just leaves him to his luck. they're both terrible#i didn't mean to write so much in the tags sorry i have so many thoughts on them. i'm normal#also i made the 3d model in the top right on the first image i'll post renders soon hehe
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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Role swap AU designs (and some minor details about them) inspired by this post right here that got me brainrotting for the past five hours.
#Highly suggest you check the sourse to get a grasp of the ideas#Speaking of! In this AU Kakavasha sees no difference between the Harmony and the Order#Because he only really believes in his own culture's deity and Gaiathra seems like a combination of both to him#That being said since he's the one with the trial of harmony inflicting powers in this universe he calls upon his deity when he chants#Also the halo thing with spikes around his neck is Gopher Wood's doing#Like he was looking for a halovian child to inflict the Order upon the people right? so he's upset Kakavasha is not halovian#Even though he quite literally has Ena's eyes. Gopher has to push his halo supremacy agenda somehow#As for Lazuli#He and Robin barely survived the Stellaron crisis and their close proximity to it affected them#He gets golden feathers and Stellaron shaped halo. Robin gets bedridden and unable to survive without the IPC#So they basically hold her hostage to keep him as their loyal guard dog#hsr aventurine#sunday hsr#sunday x aventurine#honkai: star rail#hsr#sunturine#avenday#honkai star rail#hsr redesign#except this one is lazy
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Artfight against @ejsuperstar ft. The Mad King and Chip. They're both so evil. I hope they have the most extravagant downfall of any onscreen villain.
This interaction is based on a little fic writing >:)
#For those who are reading the tags- Chip is ejsuperstar's Cookie Clicker OC. LIKE- COOKIE CLICKER. FROM DA GAME. IT'S FUCKING BRILLIANT.#Okay now to talk in the comments#first of all. The fic is literally so good. I had the privilege to read it uwu#These two are literally so evil. They just show it in different ways.#Bravus in intimidation and cunning And then Chip with his manipulation and deceit.#Also the “Magic” vs “Science” motif here is so 👀😤✨💅#i mean. Bravus is from medieval times so of course he thinks anything like what Chip has is magic. But ALSO Magic 100% is real in his world#I think it'd be neat to keep my human's slitted irises. They look human- but just slightly off to make anyone in your AU notice#forgive my human facial anatomy *cries*#the *Poof* is a reference to fairly odd parents. LMAO#I'll post the speedpaint later if ur down! Videos always take so long for them to upload here#The Mad King#I am so happy with how this turned out. Like seriously. Took me about 3 hours???? idk i need to check#hope you like it. *bonks you*#I love how Chip is still intimating with a fricking cookie in his hand. Man looks so silly#art#my art#chip#deltarune#deltarune chara timeline#cookie clicker#cookie clicker oc
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It's always funny to me when in an lu fic the chain is offered bananas and don't accept them. Like, you're offering these high energy adventures free food?? Fruit they'll have never even heard of before??? A ridiculously expensive imported good at best?? AND it boosts your attack?
Not ONE of these idiots would ever turn down something new and interesting to eat at least once. They'd be all over those bananas and immediately get dubbed yiga and I'm honestly surprised no one has used it in a fic yet 🤭
#I know it's for plot reasons but it really shows the author's hand lol. 'just a quick bit of standard suspicion now move along we have more#Interesting things to do'#Again I get it it's always funny to see them fail the vibe check and get plied with a random fruit#There could be a fake out where they ask for the bananas and while everyone's panicking they go 'I've never had one before I'd love to try'#Or someone brings up kohga and they're like who???#But you could make a whole fic out of the chain getting mistaken for yiga and getting chased out of everywhere that's heard the news#And them travelling around trying to clear their name when they don't even know what happened.#Heck maybe they figure it out when the yiga mistake then in disguise too XD!#Also featuring as many Wild assassination attempts as you want. Like he's hunting them down but he travels faster than news#Spreads so he's rarely on time and can't set traps#And the 8 of them keep fending him off but he's really got the upper hand and DEEPLY unhappy#I'm just saying it'd make for some EXCELLENT scenes and I know y'all in the LU fandom like your misunderstandings#The chain strolling along in faron like yum these are delicious we gotta stock up while we're here#And in the tree above them wilds eye's twitching#loz#legend of zelda#linked universe#lu wild#lu chain#loz fic#fic ideas#fic prompt#loz link#loz lu#yiga clan
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if you still donate to ao3 even though:
ao3 censors any support for palestine
they barely improve the website despite surpassing their donation goals every single time
they do not see anything wrong with RPF that sexualizes REAL minors
they excuse racist fanworks, they actually suspend anyone who does not feel comfortable with pedo/incest shippers, or literally anyone who labels themselves antis or anti p/roships
they also don't see anything wrong with ai generated stories that most likely steal from real writers that put their heart and soul into their works
and perhaps a lot more things they do that i might be forgetting
seriously.
if you get mad at marginalized ppl calling out ao3, and you act entitled when your fandom interests are being threatened, then you're a privileged asshole. if you call everyone "puritans" or "stupid kids" for being critical of ao3, you're a privileged asshole. this is not about you. this is about the actual harm ao3 does to real people. your favorite fanfictions should not be your priority. especially if you want to keep supporting palestine or people of color in general, you can't just get mad when they point out the flaws of ao3 and stop supporting them when they're not convenient to you.
#lotus.txt#anti ao3#all of the things listed here i have reblogged before#but you can always google them too#and you can very much check out ao3's terms of service and stuff#bc they make that clear#also they just don't know how to handle their money. idk why you keep donating to them if the website remains in beta#and takes forever to add useful features#csa tw#csem tw
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Hello! I hope you're doing well and I'd like to thank you for being the rad trans uncle of Tumblr. I'm in a fuckin' crimson state that's quite unfriendly to trans people and I'm afraid I won't be able to leave until 2028 at the earliest. Might I ask if there's anything you'd recommend doing? Anywho, I hope the leaves were great where you are! Peace!
It's been weird, but I'm glad to be here. :) As for recommendations, well, while you are not in a great place for trans rights, thinking ahead towards a move a few years down the road *is* good. Stuff you should be considering:
Get your finances in order.
Start with making a budget (I like the tool YNAB), tracking your habits, and looking for places to reduce spending. I know that can mean squeezing blood from a stone, but even saving up gas money for a cross-country trip can move up your moving timeline.
You also want to start planning your moving expenses. For example, buying boxes, using a moving service, cost to service your car, calming meds for your pets, etc. Just make a spreadsheet and keep adding as you think of things. Have a rolling total and track against your savings.
Lastly, get your credit score in order. A free service like Credit Karma is fine, but as you get closer to having to apply for rent or a mortgage, sign up with each credit agency and pull your report. Get caught up on any delinquencies asap and do not miss any payments from now until you are moved - missed payments take the longest of ANYTHING to fall off your score.
If you've changed your legal name, make sure it matches with all the credit bureaus. If you feel responsible with credit, ask for a credit line increase every 6 months - that will help with your debt ratio if you are currently trying to pay down a balance. Plan a credit score timeline with a hard stop at least 2 months before you apply for a loan/rent -- after that, no more making any big purchases or applying for new cards. Try to have no more of 10% of your total credit line actually on your cards by the end of your timeline. Aka, if your line of credit is $1,000, you only want $100 on the cards.
2. Start paring down your stuff
Gt crafty hobbies? Stop adding to your stash. Stop it. Start getting rid of broken things, clothes that don't fit, stuff you don't see yourself using, or stuff that is cheaper to sell & buy at your new place, rather than pay to move. If this all feels hard, put the items you're questioning in a box now, and then open it next year and see how you feel. Don't buy anything you wouldn't want to move.
3. Start your research
Make lists of towns that look promising. See how their local government works. Check the local reddits and facebook groups to get the vibes. Make lists of "must haves" and "nice to haves" at the state, city, neighborhood, and even house level. Get an idea for what the cost of living will be in your new place. Decide what your deal-breakers will be.
4. Work on your job skills
Four years is a lot of time to improve yourself for a good salary hike. It's a lot of time to get marketable for remote jobs, which will broaden your opportunities to live where you want. If remote work interests you, start looking at job listings and note the requirements. Make a plan to be qualified within 3 years.
5. Make a bucket list of things to do in your current state
There must be some good things about your state. There were in mine. Afford yourself grace and do some fun things that you might not have the chance to do again when you move. Hang out especially with local friends and family you care about.
6. Keep an eye on what's happening wrt trans rights.
Follow trans pundits and your local trans rights orgs. Get in the habit of learning what's going down in your municipality, down to the school board level. Be prepared to have to adjust your moving timeline if shit hits the fan.
7. Stay on top of your healthcare and legal stuff
No passport yet? Apply now. Forgetful about getting your HRT renewed? Set reminders and work hard to stay on top of everything. As you get closer to moving, research healthcare options in your new home and get appointments lined up asap.
8. If you're selling & buying a house, be prepared for it to take nearly a year
Seriously, it can take forever for everything to work out. Work with realtors in your new state who specialize in remote sales & relocations. Start repairing your current place by year 3 and start packing months in advance of the final move.
tldr; Treat the next 4 years like you're at college and your degree is Getting the Hell Outta Dodge. Plan as much as you can with to-do lists and spreadsheets, with some kind of monthly goal at first, then weekly and daily goals as your move approaches. It can feel overwhelming, but knowing *now* that you are going to move means you can plan as much as possible and reduce the amount of panic-decisions.
Good luck!
#trans stuff#fwiw I knew in 2016 I wanted to move and I knew I had a ton of financial obstacles to overcome#it took me 8 years but also keep in mind I was dealing with the huge financial burden of escaping poverty#once shitty old delinquencies fell off my credit report I hit the ground running#in those 8 years I tripled my salary and became a remote worker#that gave me a lot of freedom for picking where to live#if you are moving with a partner delegate some things to them and then have regular check-ins#for example I handled getting out of FL and my partner handled finding a place to move *to*
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I don't know if someone has named all the cellmates yet but I wanted to try - feel free to correct me if I'm wrong btw! Philza - Quackity
Antoine - Roier
Baghera - Rivers
Felps - Willyrex
Cellbit - Vegetta
Missa - Wilbur
Rubius - Luzu (Arin technically)
Jaiden - Mouse
German - Lenay
Foolish - Mike
Bad - Aypierre
Slime - Elmariana
Bagi - alone
Pac - alone
Tubbo - alone
Etoiles - alone
Kameto - alone
Tina - alone
Niki - alone
Carre - alone
Fit - alone
Here's the list of cellmates without the pictures: Quackity - Philza Antoine - Roier Baghera - Rivers Felps - Willyrex Cellbit - Vegetta Missa - Wilbur Rubius - Luzu (technically Arin) Jaiden - Mouse German - Lenay Foolish - Mike Bad - Aypierre Slime - Elmariana Alone Category: - Bagi - Pac - Tubbo - Etoiles - Kameto - Tina - Niki - Carre - Fit EDIT: (They've apparently moved some people around during the event to be roommates with others - this list is not including them switching people around and is just who was paired originally in cells)
#qsmp#im not tagging all of these Im sorry#qsmp prison event#Sorry if I'm missing someone xd!! There's just a lot of people#I've decided to not include them switching around roommates because that would be too many vods for me to go through just to see whose new#cellmate is with who yknow#so this is just the original ones#People have been saying Fit moved in with Tina but when I checked Fit's vod - at the end of it he moved out of Tina's cell to go to another#to call his own so Fit and Tina aren't cellmates anymore and I think trying to keep up with the consistency of whose moved out of who#also would be a lot of work xd#I only know that Etoiles moved into Antoine's cell so they're together at least even at the end of it
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some future bits of creme uni where sm grabs two of pv's patients and makes them start fighting for reasons that he does not explain to his husband beforehand and he will get his head ripped off about (literally)
as always more details in the tags
(non-text version 'cause its fuckin' funny)
#cookie run#shadow milk cookie#espresso cookie#pure vanilla cookie#shadowvanilla#creme university au#madeleine you are only mentioned so you aren't getting tagged buddy sorry#basically sm is training them in two of their weaknesses#madeleine has a huge magical surplus and defense against dark magic but a lot of the building of that magical defense was done via fear#and espresso has fucking 0 stamina in a fight not to mention is trying to work through a problem with his emotions controlling his magic#leading to literal explosive behavior if he can't keep it in check#so what better way to train these two than making them fight!#both of them are under pure vanilla's care and he is NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS#foolish professor boutta get divorced and he doesn't even know he is married#shadow milk thinks hes doing good though cause he sees that both have unresolved trauma holding them back#and what better person to help them through it than each other ya know?#although he probably kicked the shit out of the two of them beforehand as his way of pointing out their flaws#also fist fighting myself to post unfinished shit cause it'll likely never get finished
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