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juletheghoul · 8 months ago

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Let Me Follow (Part 7)

AN: Ooop. I haven't updated this in a year and I feel terrible, I am trying to go through all of the unfinished fics I have, and update one every week. (dream big Jules) Hopefully get through all of the things I have in my head. Hopefully it's been worth the wait! I've done my best to edit this myself, but it hasn't been beta'd. Enjoy! xo 🩷

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader

Word Count: 4.8K

Warnings: (18+ NO MINORS) ANGST, language, age-gap (about 10-11 years, legal, reader is of age), Yearning, post-apocalyptic world, Joels injury / ptsd / nightmare

Let me know if I missed anything!

reblogs are appreciated

Masterlist Series Masterlist

He’s gone when you wake up. Both of them are, they’re gone most of the day but it makes sense. You chalk it up to Joel catching up with his brother and Ellie taking advantage of the safety of this place. You, in turn, find yourself almost haunting the house Maria and Tommy had put you up in. The time spent in the trailer, although quiet for the most part, was also wrapped up in the web of anxiety. Every second spent there was corrupted with fear of someone finding it, always the danger of infected wandering into the woods and surprising you when you’d go scavenging, and in comparison to that, this felt peaceful.

This house gave you a chance to rest, to nap and enjoy the safety of the walls surrounding you, surrounding the town itself. Even when you got hungry, it was only a matter of making your way down the street to the cafeteria. People looked at you with curiosity, but didn’t pry, which only inspired intense gratitude.

The whole day was a much needed respite from the worry and anxiety, until Ellie stormed into the house to find you reading an old novel on the sofa late in the evening. Anger burning on her face and it seemed strange to be so angry in a place like this.

“What happened?” The adrenaline shoots up, the familiarity of it is so depressing, it seems your body is always ready to feel this way.

“He’s leaving me.” She runs up the stairs and you find yourself running up after her, the door to the bedroom she’d claimed all but shut in your face before you could follow her inside.

“Ellie? Can I come in?” You knock, hoping she’ll elaborate, “Ellie?”

“Whatever.” She calls out and you follow her inside, finding her sitting on a dusty bay window.

“What happened?” Your heart races but you do your best to control your breathing.

“He’s leaving me,” she sighs, picking up what looks to be someone's journal, “I heard him tell Tommy, that he has to leave me.” You frown at her. Joel hadn’t exactly been the cuddly type but he did care about Ellie, that had been obvious to you. “Maria told me something about him, something that makes sense-”

“I wouldn’t listen to what Maria has to say about Joel, it seems to me she’s been listening to Tommy say some not-so-nice things about his brother.” Annoyance burns brightly in your gut that she’d dare poison Ellie against the man that had been keeping her safe.

“No–I didn’t let her talk shit, I told her where to fucking go about that but–” A soft tap on the door pulls you out of the argument, Joel’s voice coming through before he opens the door.

The familiar ‘Joel-frown’ is back in place as his gaze shifts from Ellie, to you, and back to her again.

“Listen-” He starts, but she doesn’t let him get very far.

“Why are you here?” The anger still burns on her face, but you know what’s really there. Sadness, fear, disappointment, you know because you’ve felt it all before.

“I came here to talk to you, both of you.”

“No, why are you still here? If you’re gonna ditch us then ditch us.” her eyes cast down as she speaks, looking without really seeing the journal in her hands. You see him let out a heavy sigh, resignation taking over.

“What exactly did you hear?”

“‘I have to leave her, you have to take her’,” your eyebrows must have raised up into your hairline, Joel leaving Ellie had never crossed your mind, “You know I stuck up for you today because I thought-” She bit her lip, cutting off her own words.

“I made this decision for your own good. You’ll be way better off with Tommy, he knows the area better than I do-” He was floundering and it was as though you were listening to a stranger, his whole demeanour completely different from last night.

“Do you give a shit about me or not?” Her voice rose, and your heart broke for her.

“Of course I do.”

“Then what are you so afraid of? I’m not her, you know? Maria told me about Sarah-”

“Don’t.” The change in him was chilling, “Don’t say another word.” Seeing his eyes shift, the whole of him as cold as ice.

“I’m sorry about your daughter, Joel, but I have lost people too.” And there it was.

He’d had a daughter, and he’d lost her. This was it, the missing piece. It made so much sense, the cloud that followed him around, the loss that poisoned him to the world. It wasn’t just the terrible, awful, practically unbearable state of the world, it was his loss.

“You have no idea what loss is.” His eyes hardened even more, and you understood why he would be upset. The loss of a child would definitely make anyone lose their minds, but Ellie wasn’t wrong. Everyone in this world knows what loss is.

“Everybody I have cared for has either died or left me. Everybody, fucking except for you!” She pushes him, her anger and hurt getting the best of her and you can’t help but move from your place on the couch to comfort her. “So don't tell me that I'd be safer with somebody else because the truth is I would just be more scared.” Your hand goes to her shoulder, letting her know you’re there for her.

“You’re right. You aren’t my daughter, and I sure as hell ain’t your dad. Now come dawn, you and I go our separate ways-” Your hand flashes up without your permission, and cracks him clean across the face. It was too much for you to bear.

“Enough! I am so sick and tired of this, and I am through with letting you act this way. You can’t keep living your life like this, Joel. Head down, barreling through like a juggernaut, cutting through everyone and everything, completely closed off to the world.” The hurt was sharp in your voice- “I can’t even begin to imagine how much losing your daughter must have hurt you, I wish it had never happened. I cannot take it away from you, neither of us can but we don’t deserve for you to treat us this way. Losing her doesn’t mean you can throw Ellie away.” His eyes flashed with something, a hurt so deep it was part of him, “Tomorrow, we’re going–whether it’s with you, or Tommy is up to you.” You turned from him then, gathering Ellie into your arms. You heard the door click, and then you and Ellie were alone.

You spent the night with Ellie.

A soft knock sounded as you gathered the few things you had to take with you, both of you. Ellie opened the door to a very resigned Tommy standing at the door.

“Y’all ready?” He spoke to both of you, the look on your face leaving no doubt as to whether Ellie would go alone or not.

“Yes, we’re good to go,” you reply and he nods once before leading the way out, “Come on Ellie.” You don’t look at the room across the hall, even as the outline of the door burns bright in your peripheral. That it was closed and he was probably asleep inside only filled your stomach with rocks, so you keep your eyes forward and ignore the feeling.

The morning is crisp enough to see your breath and it wreaths around your head like a halo as you all make your way towards the barn. Your anger with Joel is a simmering pot on the back burner, and that’s where it has to stay, there’s too much to focus on with Ellie to give it any attention. Tommy leads the way, bundled up with a rifle on his back and the anger you’re trying to tamp down finds its bullseye.

“How much shit did you talk about Joel, Tommy? Be honest.” He turns, his brow furrowed, “Must have been a lot, with the way Maria was eyeing him.”

“Yeah, not to mention giving me some bullshit warning about him not being who I thought he was.” Ellie chimes in, he lets out a deep sigh.

“You don’t understand, we did terrible things-“

“Yes, both of you, and you got to explain yourself. You’re letting your grievances with your brother colour the way people in this town view him. If he stays here, you’ve just made his life harder when you both did the same shit.” You round the corner, ducking into the barn to find the man you’re discussing, loading the horse's saddle with what looked to be supplies. You’re angry at him, at the cruel words he threw at Ellie, at the thought that after all of your confessions he might have let you go. It’s hard not to feel relief that he’s here though, ready to follow her, ready to follow you.

“You came here to say goodbye or something?” Ellie’s voice is neutral, but the hurt simmers under the surface.

“No, I came here to steal one of these horses.” He kicks at the ground, nervous.

“I woulda gave you one.” Tommy sighs, his frown still in place but now directed at Joel.

“I know. Anyway, that was thirty minutes ago, and I guess you deserve a choice. I still think you’d be better off with Tommy-“

“Let’s go.” She tosses her bag at him. Your lip curls without your permission, but you keep it to yourself.

“Okay.” He grunts out the word, but you can see he’s just as affected as you are. He turns, and speaks to Tommy while you and Ellie lead the horses out, letting them have a moment.

“You okay?” Ellie’s eyes find yours at the sound of your words, and for a moment you see her age and it breaks your heart. Her eyes are wide, dark shadows underneath them, all of the stress and the weight of her lot in this life painted across her face, and still she smiles.

“Fuck yeah, all good.”

God, she’s just a kid.

“Let’s get going.” Joel comes out, Tommy’s rifle on his back and his eyes are wild, darting between you and Ellie. His words still ring out in your ears, but so does the knowledge of his loss. It’s the Rosetta Stone, the why of all of his anger and hurt and reluctance to open up to anyone and anything coming into focus.

There are two horses, and Ellie claims one right away, leaving you to share with Joel. He climbs up and swings his leg around, then holds out his hand to help you climb on, and wordlessly you take it. The horse is calm underneath you, for which you are grateful, even when you climb up, much less graceful than Joel and sit tucked into his back.

The anger in you still burns bright. Too bright to say anything to him just yet, so you let it wash over you. Ignore the happy chant to have him there, to have his familiar, safe shape solid in front of you, and focus on not spooking the animal beneath you.

Hours pass with small talk between Ellie and Joel, and silence from you. He doesn’t press, but his voice sounds lighter than it ever has with her. You let them have this conversation and bonding and you keep your mouth shut. He tests the waters though, your arms wrap around his waist, and every so often you feel him squeeze your hand or your knee. A silent olive branch, a request for connection and as much as you try to hold out and ignore him, punish him for his cruelty, you cannot help but give in. You press your lips to the little bit of skin exposed at the back of his neck. You can feel the way he melts, and part of you feels guilty for denying him for so long, but then his words come back and so does the anger.

Ellie has gone ahead, just a little bit, close enough that he can keep an eye on her, but far enough away that he tries his luck with words.

“It was bad wasn’t it?” He speaks over his shoulder, his words heavy with resignation.

“Real bad.”

He sighs, but says nothing else. You don’t expect an apology, and you don’t get one. It’s there though, the remorse, in his voice, threaded through the soft words and explanations he gives Ellie as the day goes by. He speaks to her of his life before, and it’s a marvel to hear him speak so much, he used to be a contractor. The shape of the word in your mouth feels familiar, one of those words adults used to say but there’s no reference for it in your memory. She is happy, that is all that matters.

When you stop to camp, it’s in a densely populated forest, eerily quiet but good enough. The land is far enough away from any QZ to be free of infected, but they aren’t the biggest worry. He sets up camp, a couple of sleeping bags all piled together.

“Sleep, both of you, I’ll take first watch.” It doesn’t take much convincing on your part, and for once, Ellie doesn’t grumble, she yawns hard enough to tremble and gets into the sleeping bag without comment. You want to give him something, a promise that you’ll discuss what you both know you need to discuss but he shakes his head when your eyes meet. “Sleep, Sunny, you need your rest.”

You nod, and sleep claims you, quick as falling.

You wake with a gasp.

“You’re okay.” He’s sitting on a fallen log, watching the surrounding darkness. Full consciousness creeps in, and awareness calms the anxiety of whatever nightmare that had spilled over. Even the horses are calm, no immediate danger threatening, but there’s no way you’re going back to sleep.

“I’m up now. Here, give me the gun, you should get some shut-eye.” You stretch for a moment, before getting up. At this point, he knows you better than to argue, and so as much as he wants to keep watch, he gets up with a groan, and climbs into the sleeping bag still permeated with your body heat. The brief spark of warmth and comfort that was born of your new found intimacy with him, although still there, is obscured by the things you know you need to discuss, but it won’t be tonight. He knows it too, and so you keep watch, and when the morning comes, you all set out again.

Days pass, and you travel in peace. The days are cold but clear, and he surprises you even more. He teaches Ellie to shoot, instructs her on how to load and reload the rifle, how to aim and even lets her keep a pistol and you can see the father so clearly in him. He notices your quiet withdrawal, and he lets you have your silence, but it doesn’t last.

Three nights into your trek, he finally breaks the silence.

You feel him slip into the sleeping bag behind you, the night is colder than you expected and his warmth is welcome, even if your heart is still hurt. You’d found a small copse of trees, hidden enough that you could all sleep relatively calmly.

“Sunny.” It’s just above a whisper, “How long you gonna punish me?” His breath tickles the little hairs at the back of your neck, raising goosebumps in its wake. You sigh.

“I’m not punishing you Joel.” His hand slips around your waist.

“You’re angry at me, I can feel it.” He presses his lips to the skin just below your ear, soft and sweet and your eyes close at the feel of it, you turn towards him.

“I’m hurt,” he pulls you close enough to tangle his legs with yours, “Not just for what you said to Ellie, but for what happened to you.” You felt the clench in his jaw, felt how his body tensed. “I’m not trying to pry into your past Joel, I don’t want to open old wounds and make you relive anything, but I’ve been with the two of you long enough to see the bond. That girl-” you gestured to Ellie’s sleeping form near the horses, “-sees you as a father. You’re all she has, and you were ready to drop her.”

“I know.” He pressed his forehead to yours, the tension going out of him like a balloon deflating. “It’s why I didn’t think I could do this, I am scared that I won’t be able to protect her, if she got hurt on my watch I couldn’t forgive myself.” All of a sudden you felt stupid, his anger and lashing out at her was a way to protect her, it didn’t excuse it, but it definitely explained it. “I don’t think she heard my whole conversation with Tommy, I was tellin’ him how scared I am.”

“She needs you around, she needs to know you aren’t going to abandon her.” You can’t help but bring your hands to his face, comfort him. “We need you, I need you, I don’t want you to leave me behind either.” The little part of yourself that you’d been stomping down reared its head. “I’m sorry I slapped you, I shouldn’t have done that.” He shakes his head, dismissing your apology.

“I won’t leave you behind. I meant it when I said I needed you to be patient with me.” He presses his lips to your hand, then to your lips, an apology and a promise and you clutch to it, despite the fear that permeates every aspect of the world. You don’t say anything more, trusting that when he's ready, he’ll tell you about his loss.

The university is a massive, rundown building, eerily quiet, without many signs of life.

“No fireflies.” Ellie points out when you stop just in front of an overturned car.

“Probably in the middle, safer.” Joel leads the way, and the three of you continue throughout the grounds. He answers Ellie’s questions about University life, about anything and everything she can think of while you focus on your surroundings. The quiet irks you.

Monkeys roam the campus the closer you get to the building, and she’s excited to see them, you’re a little more wary but they scatter at the sound of you approaching.

“Lookit.” He points to a sign, a bright firefly symbol spray-painted onto it.

“Here we go.” She sounds a lot braver than she looks, her expression matches yours. This whole place was creepy, and your stomach roiled the closer you got to the entrance of the building. The sound of the horses' hooves clicking onto the pavement echo around you as you approach, guard houses sit unmanned just outside the door, and your stomach drops further.

“Guard houses.” Joel voices your thoughts.

“No guards.” You reply, and the mood sours further. “Let’s tie the horses, and continue on foot.” You gesture to a tree and they both nod in agreement. With them taken care of, you make your way inside.

“Gun?” Ellie looks to Joel, and he nods, she takes out the pistol he’d trusted her with, his rifle at the ready and you follow close behind him, no weapon, but eyes sharp.

The inside is abandoned, but there is a mess of tables, discarded equipment and supplies left behind.

“There were definitely doctors here.” She rifles through a stack of old gauze, gloves and other things littering the tables, pulling a list from under an empty box.

“This is a packing list,” Joel takes the list from her, “Something you make before moving.” There’s a distinct lack of dust and dirt blown in on the mess left behind you cannot help but focus on.

“Looks like they just left-” Something crashes above, movement in one of the higher floors interrupting your sentence, “maybe not all of them.” You move as one, slowly and quietly following the source of the noise, your heart races, scared of who or what you might find here. Joel leads the way, his rifle at the ready, Ellie brings up the rear, gun in her hands and pointed down like he’d taught her. The place looks more like an abandoned hospital than a school. There are carts knocked over, hospital beds and IV bags still hooked up to the poles littering the hallways.

He counts down silently, hand just hovering over the door containing the source, and then opens it. A monkey shrieks, and seeing you jumps out the open window. You let out a heavy breath.

“Well, at least it ain’t clickers.” Joel’s tone is as relieved as you feel.

“Yeah, no fireflies either. Maybe in all that research they turned into fucking monkeys!” He frowns at her, there’s a disappointment heavy in the air. So much travelling, just to come up empty. There’s a giant map in the middle of the room though. You make your way over to it, there are different colour pins all leading up to one place, Salt Lake City, Utah.

“That’s where they went?” She’s staring at the map beside you.

“All the pins lead there.” You press your finger to the spot on the map, Joel is beside you, all three of you studying it.

“Maybe they were getting ahead of the weather? Better facilities? I don’t know.” He frowns, letting out a breath but you hear it, people talking outside the window. You shush them, gesturing to the window but they hear it now too. Your heart jackhammers in your chest, any and all peace you’d found from finding this place empty is gone.

Quietly you all move closer and peek out the window, and see four men walking past, they hold crowbars, and baseball bats and it’s obvious they’re raiders.

“Out the back.” Joel whispers, and then the three of you take off. Within a few tense minutes, you’re all back outside, ducking behind piled up sandbags to make sure you don’t encounter anyone. With the coast clear, you all run towards the horses. Ellie climbs up onto hers, and you climb onto the one you share with Joel while he unties them.

“Joel!” Ellie screams, one man has followed, baseball bat high in the air but Joel turns in time and ducks out of the way, the bat swings hard, hitting the tree and shatters. Ellie holds up her arm, aiming the gun but they move too erratically.

“Wait Ellie! You might shoot Joel–” She puts it down, he doesn’t need help, they grapple and slam against the tree but then Joel has wrapped his arm around the man's neck, and with a sickening crunch, he falls. When Joel turns, your stomach drops.

He looks down, and the butt of the broken bat is sticking out of his lower abdomen. He takes a deep breath, and pulls it out and a wave of nausea hits you to see at least three inches of wood come out, his blood pulsing between his fingers.

“Joel–get on the horse!” You scream out to him, seeing the others spotting you and running full speed. He struggles, but climbs up with a pained yell, swinging his leg over and managing to get in front of you.

“Get back!” Ellie follows behind, shooting at them when they get too close, with the frosty wind whipping at your face you get away. The horses gallop across the grounds and away, your grip on Joel is iron.

You know that going so fast is only hurting him but you have to get far enough away that they won’t follow.

“They don’t seem to be following us, I think we’re safe.” Ellie calls out behind you and you’re glad she’s keeping an eye on your back, because you cannot focus on anything other than Joel’s weakening grip on the reins.

“Joely, baby you have to hold on, please–” He teeters, swaying like a boat in choppy waters and you feel the way he cannot hold himself up anymore. “Joel-Joel!” He topples off the horse and into a pile of snow despite your best efforts, he's so pale you can barely contain the tears that flow freely down your face. “Joel, please, please wake up, we need you to wake up.” You slap at his face, but he doesn’t stir. Ellie is off her horse and kneeling beside you, trying to aid in waking him but she’s as unsuccessful as you are. She presses his hands as well as hers to where the blood pulses out of him slowly.

“Joel, open your eyes.” You stare at him while she speaks, pressing your hand to his face, “I can’t fucking do this without you, I don’t know where the fuck I’m going, or what the fuck I’m going to do, we need you Joel please, get up.” Tears stream down her face and it hits you then. You’ve cursed him, this is what comes from loving another person.

There’s no time, you have to move him.

“Let’s get him somewhere safe, Ellie, one of those houses.” You gesture to a residential area not far from where he fell. There’s no way you can carry him, instead you look for something to put him on that you can drag like a sled. You send Ellie to look, warning her to be careful and to keep her gun out and she comes back with a wide mat, almost like a big dog bed and it’s perfect. You shuffle him onto it, and tie the mat to the back of one of the horses, pulling him towards one of the houses.

It takes so long to get him into the basement. By the time you’ve piled a stained mattress and musty blankets and laid him on it, your skin is slick with frozen sweat, your breath comes out in pants, exhausted with the effort. There had been an old towel in one of the bathrooms of the house, Ellie had grabbed it while you wrestled him to where he lay. Once settled, you ripped it up, and moved his shirt to press it to the wound, barely looking at it. You had to stop the bleeding, if he kept bleeding he’d die.

“What are we going to do?” She watches, terrified.

“I don’t know.” You want to comfort her, but you cannot stop swallowing the lump in your throat. You both stay quiet for a while after that, focused on his breathing.

It’s because I love him

The thought squeezes your heart like a vice, the curse of you fills your head, overtaking every thought. This is what happens when you love another person, the black hole has taken him just like it took your parents, just like it took Johnny and there is nothing to be gained but misery and heartache. The black pit of your love is full of emptiness and all you’d done was sentence him to death. You should have just let them leave, given them your supplies and stayed in your trailer.

Tears stream steadily down your face, hoping against hope that he’ll wake up, that the wound will close, that nothing inside had been too badly damaged. You hoped you’d wake up back in that bed in Jackson, that this was all just some horrible nightmare and that he’d be there, rubbing your back. You didn’t wake up though, and he lay there motionless while you cried, breathing shallow enough to fill your stomach with nothing but dread and nausea and regret and every other horrible thing you’ve felt since this world went to shit.

You move the towel after a while, to see how bad the damage actually is and your body tenses, it’s angry and red and still blood pulses out, his skin shredded where the sharp wood had pierced him.

“We need to close it, we should see if we can find a needle and thread.” You speak to her, but she watches him, his eyes are open, and there is nothing but naked fear in them. He groans and grabs at your arm hard enough to bruise when you press the towel back to the wound.

“Go.” He grits it out, at both of you. She puts her hands on yours, helping to staunch the blood. “Go, leave, take the gun.” He repeats it.

“Shut up, shut the fuck up Joel!” She all but screams at him but he grabs her by the jacket, pulling her close.

“You go.” He doesn’t relent, “You go. You go north, go to tommy.” He shivers, speaking the words clearly and when he pushes her back, she stumbles, staring at him in disbelief. His eyes find yours, and he repeats himself. “Leave.” He does not expect to survive, and all at once you are angry with him, angry with yourself for ever having opened your heart, angry at the world for your lot in life. His eyes find yours then, tears slowly streaming from them, the same anger burning in your chest shining out through his eyes.

You wipe at your eyes, and rise. Leaving him there, as you make your way up the stairs, and out of the basement.

She catches up to you in the kitchen.

“Are we really leaving him?”

“No. I’m looking for something to stitch him up, but if you want to go find Tommy I won’t stop you, you can shoot, and he’s taught you how to keep watch and find safe places to sleep. You can take all of the supplies–” You open cupboards, pulling them off the hinges in your haste and spilling drawers in the pursuit of something, anything to help him.

“I’m not leaving either.” She moves, and helps you search.

—

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serverusslaype · 1 year ago

Text

Shameless, pt. 15

Severus Snape x professor!reader fic

Shameless Masterpost

hey guys.................. dont kill me. i'm so sorry for the incredibly lengthy hiatus.... i had no motivation, each time i opened the file to type i'd type a couple words, maybe a paragraph and close it. i finally found the motivation to finish this chapter recently, i'm hoping it stays. it's been a rough couple months, so hoping this can help me feel a bit better!!

i felt really guilty for sort of abandoning the fic where it was, but i couldn't force myself to write anything, there was no creative juice, i think i sort of burnt myself out. and for the previous posts saying i was back, i thought i was, but i'd have the smallest spark of inspiration and try to write, but then nothing happened, and i felt bad so i didn't want to say something like, sorry, i lied. :(

hopefully this chapter is okay, i know most of you won't like it, but i'm so glad i finally finished it, it was one of the hardest to write because i had so many ideas on how it'd end and effect the whole story itself, so i had to make sure it made sense.

i can't believe you guys are still here after so long, it made me emotional to see all of your asks and comments and likes, i was just floored to be honest, so thank you so much for your unwavering support. i love you all so so much. honestly. holy shit. this has been a journey. <3 i hope you guys are all doing brilliantly.

warnings: lack of snape, swearing, mentions of adultery, slight domestic violence, verbal abuse at the end

You didn't know where to go. You felt... lost. You couldn't exactly go back to your quarters, not with Ben there, you didn't need more questions about why you were crying your eyes out at this time of night. It's not like you could tell him the truth.

So, you did what anyone would: go for a midnight walk. Well, at least that's what you thought anyone would do when they had nowhere to go. You'd hoped that the fresh, cold air would soothe your burning lungs, and the gentle breeze would dry your teary eyes. In an even deeper, darker part of your mind, you also hoped that Black would find you. Perhaps that would make everything... easier.

With tears still streaming freely from your eyes and heavy feet, you padded towards the large, magnificent doors that led to the outside with your arms wrapped around your body tightly; trying your best not to breakdown until you were alone. Your hands were still shaking as you pushed them against the doors, opening it a tad as the cool wind blew through the crack and into your face. You gasped a little at the sharp breeze, but nonetheless you slipped out, and made your way into the courtyard. The temperature was a little more biting than you had anticipated, and so you squeezed your arms around yourself a little tighter, walking towards the infamous wooden, crooked bridge.

As you sauntered through the courtyard, the only noises you heard were the owls hooting in the distance, the gentle breeze brushing through the burnt-amber leaved trees and the faint clack of your heels against the cobblestoned ground. In all honesty, it did feel a little eerie to the say the least, but at this very moment that was the least of your worries. All you wanted was a little time alone to cry, or grieve what could have been with ...Severus.

Gods, it hurt to even think his name, let alone speak it.

You reached the wooden bridge, and you stopped in the middle of it; leaning against the intricately carved columns to gaze out at the highlands. The moonlight casted a gorgeous glaze-like reflection upon the Black Lake, and it twinkled beautifully, almost hypnotising you like an illusion. Your eyes flicked up to the moon and glanced around it, staring at the glittering stars surrounding it like a perfect painting. Only times like this did you miss teaching Astronomy. As your mind reeled back to your first year teaching at Hogwarts, you relished in the time where you did not know the man named Severus Snape, and suddenly your heart sank in your chest like an anchor dropped at sea. You were so naive back then, unknowing of what was to come.

As the memories of you and Severus flooded your mind like a dam breaking, you let yourself cry. You could still feel his lips on yours, his fingertips gently tracing the curves and grooves of your skin, the words he'd whispered into your ear - it was all there, stained on your skin, like a tattoo - or perhaps a branding. And now you had to live with it. You weren't sure if you'd survive this time, especially not with how deeply you felt for him. You were torn between pretending he didn't exist and trying to talk to him, perhaps even telling him how you felt, but truth be told you were petrified of how he'd react. Would he even look at you again with those glittering black eyes you'd come to adore so hopelessly? Would he dare speak to you again, knowing that he'd charmed you? Maybe he'd relish in the fact that he'd done so, take pride in bewitching you, and make you hurt for it. You knew Snape could be rather cruel, your school days here with him as your teacher was enough for you to know that.

All these unanswered questions swam through your head and you felt yourself becoming suffocated from them, and it suddenly felt as if your lungs had filled with water, drowning you. You sobbed helplessly as you slid down the wooden wall behind you with your hands against your face, the rough edges scratching your back through your clothes rather uncomfortably.

"Y/N?" A voice came from beside you, and you froze. You turned your head away from them and quickly used your sleeve to wipe your eyes, drying the tears that had fallen from them. Only one person has a voice as soft as the one you had just heard.

You gave yourself a moment to gather yourself before even attempting to use your voice.

"Hello, Remus." You croaked quietly, sniffling.

"What on Earth are you doing out here so late?" He questioned gently, and you heard him take a step towards you. "Are you alright?"

"Quite dandy," you sarcastically quipped, sighing deeply, "I'm brilliant..." You turned your head to face him, and immediately, his face softened at the sight of your own. You were sat up against the side of the bridge, knees up against your chest and your arms wrapped around them; nose and eyes red, wet with tears. Remus quickly dropped down to his knees beside you, placing a soothing hand upon your forearm.

"What happened?" Remus asked, careful to keep his voice quiet and soft. With empty eyes, you stared into his worried ones, and instantly you felt terrible. The last thing you wanted was people worrying over you.

You looked away, down at the ground. "I..." you mumbled, sighing, "it's a... long... story." You spoke slowly. From the corner of your eye, you saw a small smile quirk up on Remus's lips.

"I've got time, my dear." He replied as his thumb brushed your forearm, silently encouraging you to talk. You felt at ease in Remus's presence, it was almost like he had a calm aura around him, and naturally your body relaxed beside his. You took a deep breath.

"Erm," you choked, sniffling again, "it's Se... Snape." You couldn't bring yourself to say his first name without crumbling into a million pieces.

Remus let out a gentle breath. "Snape, of course," He tutted, glancing between you and the ground. "What's he done?" The fact that Remus reacted like he had expected Snape to have hurt you, further broke your heart. Were you the only one to have seen through his icy exterior?

"Broken my heart," You laughed dryly, and you had to fight back another bout of tears. Remus's brows furrowed in confusion at you. "We... I... Look, I'm not sure how to explain this to you. But... I fell..." You trailed off, unable to finish your sentence. Your heart hurt too much. You only hoped that Remus knew what you were about to say.

Remus blinked and stared at you, shocked. Clearly, the two of you had hidden your 'relationship' well - so well that everyone was oblivious to it. "You fell...?" He frowned.

"In love... with him..." You almost whispered, avoiding Remus's eyes. You weren't sure if you'd be able to handle the look in them.

"You're in love with... Severus?" Remus repeated, and you squeezed your eyes shut at his words. They were like daggers, stabbing your bleeding heart. It was almost like you could feel it trembling inside of your chest, begging you to free it from this cycle of torment. "But... Aren't you with... Ben? And... Severus... he's..."

"I know," you sighed, noticing his confusion, "I had feelings for Severus before I met Ben. And it sort of just, like, spiralled out of control, and now, erm, here I am- Gods, I should have just listened to Minerva, I wouldn't be here right now, hurting like this." You ranted, another strangled sob leaving your throat. Remus watched you, and his eyes softened. He felt terrible for you. "She warned me, Remus, why didn't I just listen to her?!" You cried, letting your head fall into your hands.

"Y/N," Remus whispered, reaching out a cautious hand to pry your face from your hands. With a soft gasp, you looked up with teary eyes, and he wiped a stray tear from your cheek. "We don't get to choose who we do and don't fall in love with. We follow our hearts blindly, most of the time, unknowingly." He said, and moved his hand from your wet cheek to your shoulder, rubbing it soothingly. "It's beyond our control who we love."

There was a moment of silence.

"...What do I do, Remus?" You sobbed softly, sniffling, looking at your knees.

"Have you told him?"

"No."

"I think you should."

"But what about Ben? Shouldn't I... deal with... that first?" You sniffled again. "And what if Severus doesn't feel the same way about me? Then what?"

Remus paused for a moment, thinking. You looked up at him. "What if he does?" He said, a small, comforting smile tickling his lips as he stared at you.

"Well- from the way he treated me earlier... I truly doubt it, Remus." You scoffed, glancing away from his pitying brown eyes.

Remus sighed, and you clenched your jaw. "Regret is a terrible thing, Y/N," he said, "it's such a short word, yet it stretches on forever." Your eyes were glued on the ground and your body was still, but your mind was running a million miles an hour.

You sat there in silence for a short moment, thinking deeply. Remus was right. You'd regret it for the rest of your life if you didn't tell Severus how you felt. That chance of him reciprocating your feelings was small, but it was still there. If he didn't feel the same, fine, you'd move on. Eventually. And if he did?...

"...Alright," You nodded sheepishly. "I'll tell him. I just... need to, erm, work out when and more specifically, how. Like, do I just straight up blurt it out? Work my way up to it? H-how do you know it's the right time?" You rambled with tears still falling from your eyes, glancing through them at Remus who sat beside you with a soft expression upon his features.

"You'll know." Was all he said before slowly standing and holding out a hand for you to take. Graciously, you took it, and Remus pulled you to your feet. "Feel better?" He hummed, casting a glance out at the moon, then a worried look suddenly struck his eyes. You noticed and frowned slightly at his behaviour.

The moon?

"A little." You forced a smile upon your lips, and lifted up a hand to wipe the remaining stray tears upon your red cheeks. Remus looked back at you, and returned your smile. "How come you were out so late?" You asked curiously, brushing off his odd reaction to seeing a moon.

"A walk in the night does me good," Remus shrugged, and began to walk back towards the castle with you beside him. "Clears my head."

"Ah, well, I suppose I'm glad you found me, then." You chuckled awkwardly, folding your arms against your chest.

Remus smiled at you and placed an arm around your shoulders, giving you a squeeze. "Let's get you back to your quarters, Y/N, you look like an ice block." He hummed and lead you back to the castle, but not before throwing another glance over his shoulder to the almost-full-moon.

Faint, footsteps trailed down an empty corridor, and a billowing black cape followed with it. As Severus marched, his chest felt horribly heavy, almost like there was a boulder chained to it, weighing him down. He couldn't figure out why he felt like this, and it was starting to make him a little irate. He knew it was something to do with you since it had started after you'd stormed out of his office.

As Severus was about to round a corner, the sound of familiar, sweet laughter rattled through his bones, and immediately he froze. Without a doubt, he knew it was you. Only you could have laughter that sounded like the sweet songs that birds chirped in the summer mornings. The breath in his lungs suddenly vanished and he quickly swooped himself behind a bookcase, poking his head out from the side of it to see who you were with.

The moment you appeared, that boulder chained to his chest became heavier, and he felt himself lean against the bookcase he hid behind. Severus's eyes widened as they glued themselves to the man beside you - Remus Lupin. His blood boiled at the sight.

What could have Lupin have said to make you laugh like that? He'd only heard you laugh like that when you were with him, not Lupin.

From a distance, he couldn't make out what the two of you were talking about, but it was obviously hilarious. Severus's jaw clenched as he watched Lupin place a hand upon the small of your back, guiding you.

Guiding you... inside your quarters?

Snape hissed silently to himself as he stared, his sharp and hardened eyes welded to the back of Lupin's head like molten metal. As your door shut, Snape could only huff in disgust with bared teeth. What were the two of you doing in there? It was past midnight and you and Lupin seemed happy as Larry to go into your quarters. Snape couldn't bear the idea of you and Lupin alone together - let alone the fact that Lupin had had his damned, grubby paws on you. Severus clenched his jaw in a violent fashion, very clearly upset at how you'd moved on so quickly, especially with another professor at Hogwarts. Was this your thing? Bewitch every lonely professor that you laid your wretched eyes upon and then move onto the next? Did it make you feel better about yourself in some fucked up way?

An uneasy, bitter feeling twisted inside of his chest as he pictured the two of you alone and he whipped around out of spite; the swoosh of his long, black cloak filling the silent hallway. How could you move on so quickly, so... easily?

"Never did I think I'd see the day that someone told me they fell in love with a man like Severus Snape." Remus laughed softly as he waddled to your sofa, glancing at you as if to ask if it was alright to sit. You nodded at him.

"And yet here we are." You hummed with a flat mouth, clearly not as amused as your friend was. "Sometimes I wish I was as emotionally guarded as he was, but then I remember how bloody miserable that would be." You mumbled, earning an abrupt laugh from Lupin who'd settled on the couch with a soft sigh.

Ben was nowhere to be seen, so you assumed he was asleep in the bedroom.

"Severus is an interesting character, most definitely," Lupin nodded and you turned around, walking towards him to join him on the sofa. "And I applaud you for being able to tame him. If it's any consolation, only one other woman had been able to, though I think it was... unintentional, if you will."

"Unintentional?" You questioned, your tone curious. Though almost instantly, that curiosity was killed as the thought of Severus with another woman stabbed at your fragile heart. "Actually, I'm not sure if I want to hear this right now." A dry laugh slipped from your lips and you exhaled sharply as another wave of tears prickled at your waterline.

"Alright." Lupin said softly, taking notice of your quivering voice. He stood up with a breathy groan and shuffled towards you, slinking an arm around your shoulders to pull you into his chest. It was calming, and the way he hugged you reminded you of all the times your parents would comfort you as a child. As Lupin gave you a supportive squeeze, it was as if he'd accidently pushed the button for the waterworks - hot tears began to stream down your cheeks once again, and you sobbed quietly into his wrinkled shirt.

"Hey," Lupin sighed as he watched your shoulders shake with sorrow. His hand sat on the top of your arm, squeezing it gently: a dire attempt at consoling you. "Don't cry, Y/N, it'll pass."

"Idon'twantitto-" You mumbled into his shirt, sniffling loudly. Lupin's brows furrowed together in confusion as he paused for a brief moment, silently trying to decipher what you'd just said.

"What?" He asked gently, leaning his head down so he could hear you a little better. You lifted your head from him, sighing, another heartbreaking sniffle sneaking out of your reddened nose.

"I don't want it to." You repeated yourself, lifting a hand up to wipe your wet eyes lazily.

"I know. But it will." Lupin sighed too. "Severus is... a very... damaged man," He cringed slightly at his choice of words, but he continued, "I'm not even sure that you could help him- or fix him."

At this point, you were staring soullessly at the floor, and the only thing you could feel was Lupin's chest against your shoulders. Were you and Severus really a lost case? You felt like you'd made so much progress, he'd opened up to you, he'd... he also ran away again. Perhaps your friend Remus is right.

"I think I want to be alone." You suddenly blurted out, slowly glancing up at the professor with glossy, red eyes. Lupin blinked at you, confused for a moment, though he quickly came to. He didn't blame you for saying such a thing - you'd just had your heart ripped out, to put it simply.

Remus didn't say anything, he only nodded, offering you a kind, yet pitiful smile - and that hurt you slightly. You didn't want his pity, in fact, you didn't want anyone's pity. "If you need anything, you know where to find me." He muttered, brushing a hand through your hair softly. You shut your eyes for a moment and sighed, a small gush of guilt filling your body. Here Lupin was, trying to console you, and you're kicking him out. You hoped he didn't take it personally.

"I'm sorry, I... I just need to be alone." You quickly offered. Remus shook his head and frowned at you.

"No, I understand. See you in the morning, Y/N. Feel better soon." The professor smiled at you and this time it wasn't rich with pity, but kindness. He tipped his head at you and began to shuffle his way towards the door, opening it with a quiet creak from the oak. Before he disappeared out of your chambers, Remus turned around and smiled at you once more, slipping away.

Seconds after the door shut, a drowsy-looking Ben opened your bedroom door, popping his head out. He squinted at the bright light, clearly having just woken up. That settled your nerves slightly, since you'd just spoken about Severus with Remus, only a few metres away from Ben.

"Are you crying?" Ben yawned, his bushy brows furrowed in either confusion or annoyance - at this point you couldn't tell.

"No," You coughed and turned around to pretend to do something else as you wiped at your eyes. "I'm fine, go back to bed, Ben." A curt sigh fell from your lips, and almost immediately you heard footsteps padding closer to you. "I'm fine." You repeated, listening as his feet stopped behind you.

"What happened?" Ben asked, the tiniest hint of sympathy in his voice made you shiver slightly.

"Nothing, it was just a rough day at work, honestly. I'd rather not talk about it." Your brows shot together as you tried to keep the tears at bay, but you couldn't help but think about Severus as Ben placed a hand on your waist in an attempt to pry you away from the countertop and towards him. You didn't want anyone else's hands on you but his.

"Hey," Ben said softly, though it felt heavy in your chest. "It's work. It won't matter in a day or two." You were silent. "Y/N?"

"I need a drink." You muttered and forced yourself to look at Ben, cringing slightly as you walked past him and towards a glossy wooden cabinet in the corner of your chambers. You rarely drank, and if you did, it was to either celebrate something, or forget something.

Another uncomfortable silence fell on top of the pair of you.

"Want one?" You asked with no emotion in your voice.

Ben hesitated for a moment, his groggy eyes staring at the back of your figure, silently trying to deduce you. "...Sure."

You were going to regret this.

You'd changed into comfier clothes, more specifically a pair of forest green silk shorts and a matching camisole top. Sitting on the edge of your bed, you faced Ben as he was sat on the windowsill opposite you, nursing his glass of wine. After a few strong sips, the pair of you were chatting and reminiscing like old pals. "Remember that time when I turned Peter Kipling into a weasel in McGonagall's class?" Ben giggled drunkenly, elbowing you gently as you nodded with tears in your eyes, an amused grin spread across your face.

"Oh my- I forgot about that!" You wheezed, smacking your lips together. "Didn't you get... like... at least- like a month's detention for that?" You laughed, slurring, taking another sip of your glass of Elven wine. You winced slightly at the strong aftertaste as it burned your throat. That was to be your last drink, you couldn't take much more.

"Ohh, yeah, I d-id," Ben hiccuped, his laughter dying out as he sighed; his tired eyes falling onto you. Shuffling under his gaze, you felt slightly uncomfortable. A brief yet thick silence suddenly engulfed the two of you like a slow-burning fire. Ben stood from where he'd been sat, stumbling over to where you were, stopping just in front of your knees.

"I miss talkin' to you, Y/N." He sighed, taking his hand and placing it upon your cheek; carressing the apple of it with his rough thumb. The strong scent of alcohol on his breath made you gag a tad - you were drunk as well, but the smell of it wasn't pleasant, especially from his mouth.

Your breath hitched slightly at the sudden contact.

"..Yeah." You answered quietly albeit awkwardly as you stared up at Ben. Though, all the wine you'd consumed was making him look like someone... else - the darkness wasn't helping either, in fact it was fueling your hallucinations. The dark cast of a shadow from the lit candles behind him made his nose appear larger, and his cheekbones a little more pronounced.

Slowly, he crouched down until you two were eye-level, his hands slipping to your ankles. Your body stiffened slightly at the feeling. "Ben.." You warned, sighing as the drunk buzz and pleasurable tingle from the pads of his fingers was starting to cloud your mind.

"Whaat?" He whispered, heavy-lidded eyes still glued to yours as his fingers began to trail up your calves. Ben began to stand up slightly, pushing his face dangerously close to yours, and so you leant backwards to avoid him, your back gradually making contact with the bed. He shuffled forwards slightly, pressing a knee against the edge of the bed to balance himself.

You shouldn't be doing this, you knew that, but Gods, the alcohol was truly fucking with your morals and mind.

Would it hurt?

Just a little... taste...?

You shut your eyes as you became lost in the feeling; his fingers reaching the backs of your soft thighs, a breathy sigh falling from your lips. Slowly, you opened your eyes again as Ben's smalelr nose pressed into your neck, followed by his wet lips. You gasped as his hands found your torso, his fingers pressing a little too harshly into your flesh.

Severus.

Memories of him suddenly flooded your mind like a reservoir breaking a dam, flushing out anything that didn't embody him. All the times Severus had attacked your supple flesh beautifully; pulling gorgeous moans from those pink lips of yours. Your brows furrowed together as your body silently yearned for his touch. It hurt.

You were stuck between stopping this and just shamelessly indulging in the dark, twisted fantasy of pretending that Ben was Severus. You were being so selfish. And yet, you didn't care, all of the emotional turmoil that you'd been through tonight was pushing you to the edge - all you wanted was the man who didn't love you, who only saw you as a quick fuck, maybe some midnight company.

You shut your eyes again and tried your best to imagine him. With a sigh, you ran your hand up Ben's neck and into his hair, though it wasn't the same. You missed the way you'd tangle your fingers in his raven-black locks, gripping on it as he'd ravish your neck and breasts like some mad professional. Sighing frustratedly, you moved your hands down to his shoulders, expecting the rough, black fabric of Severus's robes, and yet you were met with the flimsy, thin fabric of Ben's white cotton t-shirt.

You felt so fucking pathetic.

Knock, knock.

You froze, eyes snapping open as quick as lightning. Was there someone at the door?

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Ben groaned drunkenly as he continued to kiss your neck. Unfortunately for him, the feeling had worn off the second you heard those knocks.

"The knocks at the door."

"You're.. imag-ining things, baby." Ben sighed and hiccuped once more, his uncomfortably hot breath on your neck made you shiver. At this point, Ben was much more drunk than you, and so with your remaining energy, you rolled him off of you. "Whoa- heey-!" He groaned as you slipped from underneath him, padding to the door. You didn't bother to check if he was alright, the only thing on your mind was who was at your door at this time of night.

Was it him? Did you want it to be him?

Reluctantly, you reached out your hand to open the door.

Nobody was there.

You frowned and leaned forwards, poking your head out to glance around. The corridor was empty, completely empty. That was incredibly weird, did you imagine those knocks? You sighed softly - perhaps you were a little disapppointed. Turning around, you shut the door, only to be faced with Ben sat sloppily in a chair with a face like thunder.

"Waitin' for someone?" He asked with a flat tone, his head lazily cocked to one side, still clearly drunk.

"What?"

"You know what I'm talkin' abou', Y/N." Ben said with the same tone, standing up, albeit unsteadily. You swallowed as he inched closer towards you, dragging his feet, your toes burying themselves against the hard wooden floor beneath your feet. "I know about the notes you kept. From him." He spat, pointing his finger at your face. Your heart instantly began to gallop; the pounding of its beats echoed in your ears like a harrowing scream in the night.

The notes...

"Excuse me?" You choked out, brows furrowing together in complete shock.

This was not how you wanted this to go down.

"I went through yer little drawers. In yer greenhouse," Ben scowled, his nose turning upwards in what you could only describe as disgust. "All of his little notes were perfectly preserved, and mine? Well-" Your mind was running so quickly that you could barely even listen to what he was saying - the fact that he went behind your back and invaded your privacy was the only thing sticking out to you as of right now. Your skin felt like it was on fire as the anger began to flood your veins.

"You went through my drawers, Ben?!" You yelled, shoving a finger in his face.

"That's the only thing you care abou'?! Not the fact that you secretly- obviously, have some sort of fucked up... thing for a man who treats people like they're the tiniest bit of shit on 'is shoe?!" Ben screamed back drunkenly as he bared his teeth, stomping towards you and smacking your finger away. "The fuck is wrong withya?"

You knew this could get ugly quite quickly, especially as Ben was drunk - a lot drunker than you. But at this moment, your anger was far too hot to even think about cooling things down.

You scoffed at him, your lips twitching upwards into a disgusted sneer. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Going through my stuff?!" You shouted at him, taking a step backwards as he began to get a little too close for comfort. "That's not okay, Ben!"

"How long has it been going on?" Ben asked, his tone suddenly calm. That put you on edge.

You paused for a moment, pondering on his question. It was probably best that you didn't answer that. "We're done here, Ben." You clenched your jaw, silently readying yourself for some sort of explosion.

"How long, Y/N?!" Ben yelled. The way the whites of his eyes were basically screaming at you made you feel terrified. In this current moment, there was only one pair of arms that you wish you were being held in. The man in front of you backed you up to the door, and you could only stare at him, for your wand was foolishly placed inside the pockets of your robes hung in your bedroom. Tears burned in your eyes as the guilt you'd tucked away was finally waking up and holding your body hostage with it's incredibly heavy weight. "Did you fuck 'im? Is that why ya never slept wit'me for months? Because you were too ...busy being his fucktoy?" Ben slurred, his face red and lips wet with saliva from how he'd been shouting.

"Shut up!" You cried at Ben as the tears began to break free from you and run down your cheeks like melting diamonds. This was so not the way you wanted this to go. "Please, just stop!" You were sobbing at this point as his words pierced your heart, quickly reminding you of what Severus truly thought of you.

"Oh, fuck sake, stop with the cryin'," Ben growled, drunkenly shoving a hand into your shoulder, sending you barreling backwards and into the door. You winced slightly as the bone of your shoulder blade made contact with the metal bar on your door. "Whiny bitch, yer the one in the wrong, not me!" He grumbled with a heavy sigh, turning away from you.

"Shit, Ben-" You gasped as you leaned forwards and pushed yourself off of the door, however, a sharp and excruciating pain shot across your shoulder as you tried to move it. "What the hell were you thinking?!" You whined, stumbling to the countertops of your kitchenette to lean on it. Your shoulder was fucking killing you.

"Me? What was I fuckin' thinkin'?!" A sarcastic, manic laugh fell from his lips and immediately you regretted your choice of words. The man spun on his heel, and suddenly he donned a wand in his hand. Now, you were scared for your life. "You're one to talk... you know what... I'm going to have you fired... yeah... blacklisted. From every job in this fuckin' area! That'll teach you to be a whore!" Ben screamed the last word so loudly that you were sure every sleeping student and teacher heard it. Your jaw ticked, and you had to look away, your face painted an embarrassed shade of scarlet.

Your heart dropped at his words. No way was this happening.

"You can't do that." You whispered, tears still streaming from your eyes as you stared at the ground.

"I work at the Ministry, darlin', anything is possible."

"Fuck you."

"What did you just say t'me?"

"Fuck you!" You cried out hoarsely with one hand on your shoulder and the other gripping the countertop. An animalistic like growl fell from your ex-boyfriend as he stormed towards you, fury burning bright in his eyes. He raised his wand, and you squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for some sort of spell to hit you.

"Stupefy!" A familiar voice commanded, the swish of a spell following it suit. Then, a loud thud.

Reluctantly, you opened your eyes to see Ben laying on the floor, unconscious in a pool of his own saliva. Your chest heaved with fear, and you were incredibly scared to look up to see who had come to your rescue. Frozen, you stood still in your place, though you could feel your knees beginning to buckle. Within seconds you were on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, your lungs on fire from how harshly you were breathing. Merlin, you could've just died.

uh oh.. who saved her?

i'm sorry if you weren't tagged, i went through the majority of my notes and tried to find you all!! pls forgive me :( there was a lot due to my absence <3

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challenger-fan-club · 9 months ago

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Patrick makes Art jealous that he gets to fuck you. ((inspired by @poppy-metal ))

It's smut, it's always Patrick Zweig smut. ((I couldn't stop myself and now Art also touches himself thinking about it.))

"She loves it, I'm telling you, she can't stop begging for me." He smirks at Art, watching him taking a sip of beer. Art is looking at you and he rolls his eyes. He watches you talking to other people at the party. It's not believable. It's not the most reliable source in fairness, Patrick is always exaggerating these kind of stories and Art never believes his bullshit. He watches you take a sip of your drink before watching you straighten your dress. He noticed the skirt of your dress rising up slightly but tried not to linger on it for too long. He snapped his eyes back to Patrick. "Cmon Pat, I don't want to know." He shrugged his shoulders and took another sip. Patrick couldn't help but smirk. "I know you do. I'm telling you, the sex is so fucking good, I'll let her fuck me with a racket." Art laughs a little and rolled his eyes at him. He watched you. For Art, you looked angelic, sweet, innocent. Patrick looks at you differently. He looks at you like he's ready to devour you. And you knew he could.

You looked at Patrick and bit your lip a little. Knowing what he can do, knowing what you do together. Art hit Patrick. "Cmon, she's not like that, look at her, shes sweet." Patrick screwed up his face. "oh no she's not. She's such a little whore, it's not just the quiet ones." He smiled thinking about you. Art scoffs at Patricks words. "You're so full of shit." Art hit his stomach again. "You need me to prove it Art?" He was pulling out his phone out his pocket. Art took another few sips of his drink and takes a seat and Patrick sits a little bit closer to him.

Art heard moans coming from Patricks phone as he offers it to him. a host of "fuck, oh god, Patrick, please, harder." Arts eyes are fixated on the phone. He sees you on your back, fully naked, your tits bouncing up and down. Art then sees that Patrick is inside you, he stops himself from actually moaning at the sight. He can't believe that Patricks showing this. He sees Patrick smack your face, moan and beg for more. He hears Patrick say "Calm down, I'll let you cum when I'm ready." The volume is low but he can hear all of the moans, all of the begging. Patrick telling you to take it and tell him how good he feels. Art feels like he has been staring at the screen for hours. They're in public, he shouldn't be seeing this. He knows that this isn't what he should be looking at, he definitely knows that he listening to. He feels sick watching this but he doesn't look away. The screen is pulled away from him, his mouth still slightly open. "Told ya." Patrick smiles watching Arts face all flush. He knows it got Art all worked up. He can't wait to tell you. Art can't speak. He can't even look at Patrick right now, knowing how hard he is after seeing the sight of the two of you. Patrick notices his shift, trying to readjust. "Need another drink?" He smiled as Art shook his head. Patrick walked away and put an Art around you, asking if you need another drink. Art quietly panting trying to calm himself down as quickly as he can. Art watched as Patrick kissed you, running his hands over your back and grabbing your ass a little, making your dress rise again. Art stops himself again for moaning and tries to keep himself from getting worked up again.

Patrick gets a drink and returns to you. "You good man?" He hits Arts arms a little. "yeaah, yeah, it's just getting late." Art is already making excuses. He needs to go home. Patrick knows Art too well, he knows hes still thinking about the video, he knows he wants to go touch himself watching the video. Patrick toys with the idea of sending it to him, to really torture him but he knows you wouldn't really want that. It makes it so much hotter for Patrick knowing how much Art wants you, that he gets to win over and over again. "yeah, well thanks for coming." He smiles and holds back his smirk. Patrick cannot wait to tell you everything, as soon as he gets into the bedroom.

Art leaves as quickly as he can, swipes his card to his hotel and lays on the bed. He lays back and he sighs on the bed. He was finally alone. He unzipped himself and slipped his hand in his underwear. He groaned as he finally relieved the ache since he saw the video. With each slow stroke, it released the painful ache as the images of the video flashed in his mind. He relived every single moan and swear that left you and Patricks mouth. He was so worked up, he wimpered and pleasure filled him. He wished he was there in that moment, he wished he was sharing you, or sharing him or even just being in the room, watching the two of you, would be enough for Art, he just needed it. His body was shaking now as he crawled towards an orgasm. He had to bite his lip to stop him groaning. He pulled his t-shirt up as he edged towards a climax. His mind flashed back to when he heard Patrick say 'I'll let you cum when I'm ready' and he groaned. It was too much for himself as he spilled all over his own stomach. He was panting and grunting as the frustration left his body. He's more desperate for you now more than ever.

#patrick zweig #art donaldson smut #patrick x reader #smut #art x patrick #challengers movie #art donaldson #challengers 2024

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walnutcookie · 15 days ago

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What if Vee short-circuited during a show or something and all you heard was Vee's static and Connie like trying to fix her

I wonder if this would be a rare occurrence or one that Connie would know how to handle

Assuming this is about tower of souls and not canon dandys world since youre talking about vee and connie together GDBKFBG

I think vee would be a more sensitive than the rest of the toons, but really she doesnt have that much more of a chance of malfunctioning than connie does. i dont have the logic all worked out but since the toons are all made of ichor they dont use electricity so they cant have any power-related malfunctions. HOWEVER the ichor is controlling their endoskeletons and hydraulics and such so if theres an issue with their inner workings they can still have some issues, which is also a big reason why dandy was so excited to tell the toons they wouldnt malfunction anymore after getting ichor-ified :P Thats sprout and cosmos job to fix the toons when their bodies are all fucked up (delilah and arthur are there to handle more extreme repairs that would be too agonizing or require excessive work and detail)

but. hmmm. vee.

I think it might be interesting if at least her head was electrically powered. so like. Her body could still move but if the power in her head goes out she could lose all of her senses and speech until she gets her battery charged or replaced,,, which is kind of a funny mental image imagine her going to sleep and connie has to lay in bed with that long fuckin wheel (honestly she might just sleep standing up like a horse) while vee takes out the batteries in her head and places them off to the side before she lays down to sleep GHAHAHA

that also raises the question of what her screen would be like once she gets ichor-ified. Does girlie get an actual face since ichor cant simulate a screen holy shit

But like. i have been thinking for quite a while about how vee would work exactly in this au and i think that might be what ill go with :] her head still has some ichor in it but the ichor cant simulate an actual tv and project images onto her screen which is why they kept her head electronic.

anyways to answer your question! After talking out loud to myself in this post for like 10 minutes i think if vee's head were to malfunction theyd probably do the same thing as they do with any toon malfunction - they pause the class and escort the guests out and promise them a rescheduling or a refund. if its something as simple as changing the battery connie can probably do that herself but if its something more intense they might pause cosmo and sprouts class too and have them deal with it (though it may make more sense to have the founders do it so their class doenst get cancelled too ... idk :P). It would probably hurt vee to start glitching out so i can imagine if its something like that connie would take her battery out and if that doesnt fix the problem immediately when she puts it back in she'd help guide vee to sprout n cosmos floor since shes blind and deaf in that state. either way though again i think vee is just a little bit more sensitive than the other toons, she doesnt malfunction or glitch very often :]

ouhg i need to think about this more actually now im thinking about vee and connie. Thank you for inspiring me anon 🙏🙏

#🎉 asks #tower of souls au

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cormorant-red · 1 year ago

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I played 999 recently at @xivu-arath's recommendation, and I had so much fun that (inspired by that one polygon video) I illustrated my liveblog about it!

If you haven't played 999 and you are even a little bit intrigued by a puzzle/mystery visual novel with multiple timelines that all guide you towards wild plot twists...probably don't read the text! 999 is the kind of story that is best experienced with no knowledge besides the basic premise.

Transcript below the cut:

Cormorant: characters in this game really just say shit like "have you heard the story about the crystallization of glycerin?"

as a matter of fact i haven't, june, please enlighten me

Storm: "I know we're stuck in a freezer but. let's talk about weird mythical science!"

Cormorant: it's also killing me that junpei is dressed like marty mcfly and isn't sharing any of his jackets

-----

Cormorant: this game is leading me to arrive at mathematical concepts on my own. what the heck

Storm: kshgushhsg

I take it you're having a good time then

Cormorant: trying to check lotus's work and it turns out that no matter what group i arrange to take through a door, the people left behind will always have the same digital root

so to get through door 7 with snake missing, i could either send a group with sum 16 (junpei, ace, clover, and june) or with sum 25 (clover, june, seven, and lotus), but it doesn't matter because the remainder always have root 9 and can't get through doors 3 or 8! wild!

Storm: yeah the numbers and which doors end up barred to you is so cleverly deliberate

-----

Cormorant: i'm glad i finally checked what novel mode meant, because this is way more fun

Santa cocked his head to one side, like an inquisitive bird, and looked at them.

After several long moments, during which it became apparent that Santa had no idea what the cards meant, June took pity on him.

i'll have to go back and redo the beginning after i get to the first ending

Storm: oh yeah! as I recall that was done differently when it was originally a dual screen game... but it's much better when in novel style. gimme all the descriptions

-----

Cormorant: I had a long day of sitting though presentations and so I entertained myself by calculating digital roots

I discovered that adding 9 or any multiple of 9 to a number has no effect on the digital root, which is awfully interesting bc I got to the part where snake gets killed. Assuming door 3 was opened with 12 and not 21, the options are 7+3 (motive?), 6+4 (they’d both have to be REALLY good actors), or 9+1. And if bracelets work without a body attached, and if ace picked it up in door 5…

That would be a really useful tool to get around the 3-person minimum without altering the digital root

I’m also very intrigued by the theory that zero is also in the game but I don’t know what to do with that yet

Storm: forlornly having to keep myself from saying literally anything

Cormorant: Understandable, please don’t give me any hints! I’m just calling shots for the joy of being wrong

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Cormorant: and how do you know that, my traitorous friend?

Santa: “The RED doesn’t need a person, you know.”

Santa: “All I need is the bracelet.”

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Cormorant: y’know what i think he’s bluffing. he does need June specifically and that’s why he refused to consider leaving her when they first found door 9. if all he needed was a hostage, he could have grabbed junpei and forced ace to come along, and then he would be dealing with two people under duress instead of three

i peeked at a guide and apparently i found the ending adjacent to the true ending(?) first, oh well. time to see the others!

santa: i said i don't want to leave seven alone

me: bud you can't do a heroic sacrifice too, it'll mess up all the math

reader, he was not doing a heroic sacrifice

-----

Storm: got any character opinions or theories to share so far?

Cormorant: hmm I’ve got soft spots for santa and lotus maybe just because they were in the first group I went with. I like that the game makes a point of showing that lotus is quick with the math/technical knowledge. I warmed up to clover and seven more than I expected to! I have no evidence to mistrust ace….but I don’t trust him

Snake died before I before I could say two words to him

Or…didn’t. Forgot clover said he didn’t

I got info about the previous experiments from clover and I wonder if we’re like…reenacting the past somehow? Experiencing morphogenetic resonance with the last voyage?

Again no evidence i just wonder where the pseudoscience is going

Storm: santa was so my type as soon as I started playing that I just picked all rooms with him on my first run skugrhsghu

Cormorant: AHAHA that makes me feel better about going “yeahhh door 4 I like the cut of this guy’s jib”

-----

Cormorant: “the bracelet comes off when your heart rate reaches zero” interesting then that we’ve brought up cryostasis

-----

Cormorant: i simply don't trust him not to have a spare bracelet in his pocket!!!

They climbed into the elevator and Junpei listened to it creak and rattle its way to the bottom deck. Only Junpei, Ace, and Lotus were left.

As the elevator rumbled out of sight, Ace spoke.

Ace: “Lotus, would you be so kind as to go with me?”

Cormorant: “bad end” YEAH I’LL SAY

Storm: lkksghr yeah there's a few of those!

Cormorant: santa was really quick to declare that he, june, and seven needed to go with clover. waht's his game

june and ace could have done it just as easily

Storm: they could have! good catch

maybe he just thinks seven is cooler than ace,

Cormorant: i'm imagining clover taking all her grisly trophies to the door only to find it already engaged, because lotus needed no persuading,

and regarding the true ending requirements, it's also funny that santa's like "i hate this bookmark! get it out of my sight!" and this is a huge help in junpei befriending the girl who's otherwise about to snap

Storm: load bearing bookmark

Cormorant: good thing you threw that tantrum bud or you would have been killed with an axe

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Cormorant: in my suspicions i forgot a critical detail, which is that he didn't actually go into the door with the body this time

of course seven has been propping doors open, so it really could have been anybody

-----

Cormorant: "where have these 16 boys and girls disappeared to?" eight for each game and then an experimenter? again with the idea that zero might be in the game...

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Cormorant: bad endings complete! on to the normal ending, which hopefully has less of junpei getting stabbed to death

puzzling over who could have done all those murders, especially in the sub ending...or did everyone get killed? clover thinks that snake's death was faked. or did snake do all the murders, since he was the only one unaccounted for?...and then i remember what kind of game i'm playing. can't discount the ice mummy as a suspect.

Storm: you truly cannot ignore the possibility of the ice mummy

-----

Cormorant: ah no, so santa's sister was the kid that died...

i can't figure out the connection between events! why did the last games have the veneer of a science experiment, while this one has no context given? why was it all kids last time, and a random mix of ages this time, with some repeat subjects?

-----

Cormorant: called it!!!!

Junpei: “Ace, Guy X, and the 9th Man’s bracelet.”

Junpei: “That was all you needed to open door [3].”

Cormorant: called it before i even got to an ending ehehe

what i’ve been saying!!

Ace: “(9) is a potent ally in the Nonary Game.”

Ace: “Adding (9) to any set of numbers won’t alter the digital root.”

Ace: “As you can see, (9) is a very useful number here.”

Ace: “With it, one can go anywhere, with anyone.”

Ace: “It is, I suppose you could say, a game changer.”

-----

Cormorant: okay, normal ending finished! junpei did not get stabbed but we also didn’t resolve much…I’m now thinking that ace with his pocket drugs could have easily played dead in the sub ending

glad to see that snake is okay and hopefully can stay okay in the true ending. where did clover get that riddle, and will she still have it?

0=6. how much do I read into this

still don’t understand how we get from here to santa hostage situation. he’s been so consistent about not even considering betraying or abandoning people, so either he’s a better actor than ace…or it’s staged. are he and june in cahoots

Storm: augh so close now!! soon I can actually say things

-----

Cormorant: O FUCK

Seven: “Santa’s always in the room with her. That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it?”

Snake: “Yes, that’s right.”

Clover: “What about it…?”

Snake: “That’s quite simple, really.”

Snake: “You told me that the first time you came to this room…”

Snake: “…Santa was the first to refuse to leave June behind.”

Snake: “Now, doesn’t that beg the question “why?” Why would Santa do such a thing?”

Snake: “The answer is easy.”

Storm: B)

Cormorant: i've been thinking of them as a pair because it makes the math easier! if you've got 3 + 6 + 8, just cross out the ones that make 9 and don't even bother with the addition, your root is 8

Storm: B) B) B)

Cormorant: but god!! they are a pair, do not separate (or the jig is up)

Storm: they hid it soooo well

-----

Cormorant: was wondering when we would see the last cradle guy and oh duh, he was guy X

i did think it was odd that santa phrased it as "i need to leave two of you behind" rather than "i need three of you to come with me," but if he was responsible for everything (most things?), he knew that snake was there, and he was setting up a group that could follow him. excited to see where this is going!

[dreamy sigh] this game is so elegant. what a little puzzle box

Storm: yeah it is, it's just so wonderfully crafted. so little is wasted!

-----

Cormorant: oh boy [akane vision label]

"through the morphic fieldset we were resonant, and we were as one" i don't think i've mentioned it before but i'm constantly pleasantly surprised by the narration in this game. it's not flashy but it's evocative in a way that's really working for me

Storm: this is where the port falls short a bit of the original version... the ds really worked well with this aspect

-----

Cormorant: the number of times i thought "this will be totally wrong but i'll say it to storm anyway"

hello??? [arrow pointing back to the message “I wonder if we’re like…reenacting the past somehow? Experiencing morphogenetic resonance with the last voyage?”]

Storm: Y E A H

Cormorant: laser-guided spitballing

-----

Cormorant: man i said that 4+6 would have to be really good actors if they were the ones that opened door 3...and while they didn't kill snake, i sure underestimated our queen of the stage akane kurashiki

the baseline was NOT where i thought it was

Storm: no one does it like her

#zero escape #999 #999 spoilers #'i'm calling shots for the joy of being wrong' <- girl who just correctly identified the murderer #i wanted to include more back-and-forth but i didn't have enough notes and illustrations to pad it. storm still got the last word in hehe #talk tag #THIS is what the waiting until the ink is dry post was about.#i went and got a new kneaded eraser because my old one was fossilized. are you all happy

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defuckingthrone-dot-com · 3 months ago

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DO I WANNA KNOW IF YOURE TOO SWEET?

Summary: Based on the song Too Sweet by Hozier, as well as Do i wanna know? by Arctic Monkeys.

Pairing Jolly x Reader

TW: Oral sex; fingering and bj.

A/N: I took entirely too long for n this one. This has been on my mind for weeks honestly and it got to the point where I felt I was being haunted by Hozier and Jolly. Every time I opened TikTok the first video to show up was always something to do with Hozier and then I would come here and I would only see Jolly content. And fuel was added to the fire when I heard Hozier cover Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys. Honestly this was supposed to come before I posted One more night gone (Noah fic inspired by City and Colour) but it just never felt right. Anyways I hope yall like what I came up with And hopefully it makes sense xx.

Divider by @bernardsbendystraes

“C’mon darling live a little” Jolly taunted me with a big shit eating grin.

I had been working for the Bad Omens crew for almost a year, to say that I had been going through all emotions since working with them has to be an understatement. I mostly kept to myself, I was quiet most of the time, always sticking to my tasks and schedule.

Of course I had friends within the crew but I rarely went out after shows with them or the band to dinner or to have fun. And that's exactly why I was being bothered by Jolly at this very moment.

“I'll have you know that I do live, thank you very much” is said to him with an almost annoyed tone.

“You do? i almost never see you having fun with the rest of us.” he said almost laughing.”when was the last time you actually decided to turn off your work mode?”

I stayed in silence because if I actually thought about it he was correct. I wanted to give him a witty answer but I had none. I just looked him like i was lost an im starting to think im looking fucking stupid right now.

He was trying to convince me to go out with him and the rest of the guys. It was the end of the tour and they wanted to celebrate another successful run with the rest of the crew. Thankfully this last show was scheduled in California so we didn't have to travel all the way back home. I wasn't one to go out and party, in reality I was a hermit. I loved my job and getting to know everyone around me but I also loved getting to go home and take a warm bubble bath, drink a glass of wine and get cozy in bed while I tried to catch up on movies and series I might have missed while on tour.

He kept talking as I started to set up mic stands and cables. We had a few hours before the show started and everything needed to get set up. so the guys could also do soundcheck. The longer he talked the less confident i felt in winning this fight.

“Sometimes I think you're too sweet for me,” he said with a wink. “Don't you just wanna wake up, dark as a lake? Smellin' like a bonfire, lost in a haze? “ He looked so intently at me.

“1. What do you mean I'm too sweet for you?” i took a breath in and followed it up with another question “And 2. Are you really quoting Hozier?” I didn't intend to sigh through my lips as I said that last part. I'm sure he knew Hozier was my favorite artist at the moment, I constantly had his music playing while I worked.

I thought there was some sort of tension between us, I wasn't sure if it was sexual or what but there was always an electric charge that ran through my body whenever he talked or even looked at me.

He laughed a little, “okay 2 questions that i can definitely answer for you.”

I waited for him to respond for what seemed like a lifetime when in reality it was only a couple of seconds.

“1. You're too sweet for me babe, I feel like i'm corrupting you by just asking you to dinner and 2 If i say yes and i did quote Hozier would that make you agree to go out with me?… and the rest of the crew and guys obviously..”

“You have never asked me to din..” I stopped mid sentence trying to not sound disappointed. “If i say yes will you stop asking me?” i questioned

“Yes definitely” he said laughing “I promise you'll have fun, we're going to dinner and then after we'll go to a karaoke bar, have a couple of drinks and just let go for a while” he said without a care in the world.

I hesitated for a moment. “Fine I'll go, but you owe me one,” I said.

“Okay great, you got it, we will finish up packing everything and I’ll come by to get you afterwards” he said

“You’re just trying to make sure, I don’t run off right?” I put on my best unamused face.

“No…” he replied laughing

I started to get back to organizing everything without saying anything to him anymore. Honestly it made me anxious to think about going out with everyone, I didn’t do well in crowds which is kind of ironic given my job description. I also felt like I was the most boring person and I didn’t have too much to contribute to the conversation.

I wanted to not think about it anymore, it was time for me to come out of my comfort zone so I decided that tonight I would just enjoy everyone's company and just have fun. Jolly was right. I did need to live a little so I was gonna let go and come whatever may,

The show went great, everything went as planned and after everything was packed and ready to go, we all headed out to dinner. Everyone decided that the ramen shop that was down the street from the venue was the place to go.

I was sitting between Jolly and Matt and I immediately regretted my decision. They were bickering back and forth about who had the better skills at Mario Kart, i don't really know what else I didn't really pay any attention to what they were saying anymore.

“So Jolly, how did you manage to convince y/n to come?” Matt asked Jolly

“umm i just worked my charm on her” Jolly said looking straight at me, before he turned his attention back to Marr he winked at me.

Matt just started laughing and returned to the conversation happening on the other side of him.

“So you worked your charm on me?” i asked him before i lost the little bravery i had in me

“Is it working? Are we getting somewhere?” he asked

“I…I.. what, wait where are you trying to go?” to say that i was nervous was an understatement.

He looked at me for what felt like a minute longer before he spoke again.

“you really don't know?” he says with an intrigues tone.

“I don't know what you are talking about?” i asked just as intrigued,

Before he could answer back Noah was already announcing that it was time to head out to the Karaoke bar. We all got up and headed toward the exit. We did end up having to use the tour vans in order to get to said place as it was a bit further away then what we expected.

I couldn't stop thinking about what Jolly was trying to tell me. Was I being delusional thinking he may have been about to confess his feelings for me? Most likely

We all arrived at our destination and we all seated across different tables..Some ordered some alcoholic drinks and some just sodas.

“Here, I brought you a beer,” Jolly said to me, taking the seat right beside me.

“Thank you, how did you know this is my favorite? I said, smiling at him.

“i know because i notice every little thing about you, i notice how you crinkle your nose every time you smell something you like, i notice how you think when no one is watching you you start singing, beautiful voice by the way, i notice how fast you drink your coffee in the mornings and within 30 minutes you're already ordering another through a delivery app” he took a deep breath “i know a lot of thing about you..because i..”

Before he could finish his sentence Folio was already by our table, “ Okay Jolly is your turn for karaoke, lets gooo, move it”

A little bit of laughter escaped my lips as Jolly stared at Folio for interrupting the moment, he got up from his seat and made his way over to the little computer set next to the state that had the songs loaded.

It looked like already had a song in mind since he took just under a minute to select it and for him to move over to the mic.

The lights in the stage got dimmer and the music started playing. I would know that song anywhere, more specifically, it always made me think of Jolly in one of my many delusions I had per day. I couldn't believe it, did he have some psychic powers I wasn't aware of? if i didn't know any better I would think he knew this was probably the song I would get off to when I was thinking of him.

“Have you got colour in your cheeks?” He started singing and I could practically feel pressure building between my legs.

I could not take my eyes off him, it was almost as if the world stopped for a moment and it was just me and him in this dim lit room, “i dreamt about you nearly every night this week”

We said in unison even though you could say I was more whispering than singing.

“Do i wanna know.. if this feeling flows both ways” I was forgetting how to breathe. “Was sorta hoping that you'd stay..”

I was practically wet at this point and I'm pretty sure he could tell that my face was red from all the blushing as well. I was about to explode into a million pieces, I didn't know how much I would be able to hold myself together for. and i was hoping i wasn't reading this whole situation wrong.

“Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new” I could say the same thing I thought. “Do you want me crawling back to you?” And there it was the last straw, I could feel the walls closing in and I needed to get a breath of fresh air.

I got up before he could make his way back to the table, I moved as fast as I could and crossed the threshold of the exit door to find myself outside the karaoke bar. I saw the lights of the street illuminate the path as I paced back and forth. It wasn't long before I heard the bar open, I stood still in one place and I saw Jolly walking towards me.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked with a concerned look on his face.

“Hi” that's all i could muster up to say, after a bit of silence i spoke again “ah yeah im okay i just needed fresh air, the space was getting too small and hot for my liking” i tried to sound as normal as i could.

“Hey listen, maybe I read into this too much..” he sounded concerned but i let him go on “i'm sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable it was never my intent..”

I realized what he was saying and before I lost the little courage that the alcohol I previously drank had given me I took his face in my hands and leaned in to kiss him.

It was slow at first, he tasted like the sweetest wine mixed with a hint of mint. As the kiss escalated we somehow also made our way to the alley that was on the back of the establishment.

\he licked the bottom of my lip asking for entrance and i allowed him without any restriction. I felt as if I was on cloud nine. Our tongues tangled in a war for dominance that I was sure I was gonna lose. He had one hand on the back on neck and the other on my hip. He started to slowly push me up against the wall. His lip parted from mine, and we both gasped for air.

“You don't know how long i been waiting for this” he dove for a quick kiss, “how long ive been wanting to touch you, just like this.” \His hand started to roam, even though i was fully clothed i could still feel his every touch.

He moved his hand to the wall so he could steady himself and with his other he moved his hand down, first through the valley of my chest down to my stomach, he stopped right before the seam of my jeans.

He took a breath and said “\if you wanted me to stop just say so” but i didn't dare say anything. I was too lost in the moment to even try to put a sentence together and he could see in my eyes was pure lust.

He took my silence as an indication to keep going. I heard the pop of my jeans being unbuttoned and and slowly his hand sinked down to touch me in the most intimate place. I let a gasp escape my lip and I started to feel my legs weakened. i stadied myself by placing both of my hands on the wall as he slipped his fingers through my folds.

“You're already so wet for me aren't you?” “Yees” I let out a shaky voice.

He started to rub my clit slowly in circles and I was slowly losing my inhibitions. the sensation all building up in the pit of my stomach. i was certain that i was seeing stars floating around, he slipped one finger inside of me “your so tight baby” he slipped a second finger in “so tight” he repeated.

His fingers started to thrust in and out of me, and all I could do vocally was whimper. I was close to my climax, I grabbed on his shoulders as I let the euphoric feeling take over me. It was like an explosion of color and warmth behind my eyes.

I was coming down from my high and trying to catch my breath while Jolly put his fingers in his mouth. The same two fingers that were inside of me just a moment ago.

“You taste so sweet, too sweet. get on your knees” he commanded.

And obeyed like my life depended on it. He unbuckled his pants and let his member free, and I swear that I could feel the drool roll out of my mouth onto the concrete floor.

“Are you going to be a good girl and suck on it?” my answer couldn't come out fast enough “Yes”

I grabbed his thigh and my mother went to the tip of cock which was already dripping in precum. i started stroking up and down, letting him get a feel, He closed his eyes and that's when i dove, i put the tip in my mouth licked the precum, he was big and girthy i wasn't sure if he would i could fit all of him in my mouth but i would dam try.

I bobbed my head up and down the length of his cock, each time with a bit more force than the last. He tangled his fingers in my hair and guided me, for the last few minutes until I could feel the web of his cum hitting the back of my throat.

And as I sat still on my knees, and looked up to meet Jollys eyes, I knew in that moment that everything had shifted, and I was done for. He had ruined any chance of any other guy that tried to make me feel this way because no one will ever compare. Ever.

#jolly thots #joakim jolly karlsson smut #joakim jolly karlsson #jolly fan fic #jolly #thots 🔥#bad omens #bad omens cult #Spotify #hearts & melodies

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kimyoonmiauthor · 25 days ago

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AI Bros, yo...

So someone tried to say because I was against Gen AI, that I was being "Elitist" lol, "Ableist" lol and "anti-poor people."

Dudes, are you even disabled, poor, or have grand privileges like being a white male (they had a picture of a white male on their profile)

You're against Poor people

Me, who was given up for adoption and still has trauma responses from knocking on doors because I was so dirt poor, they had to give me up for adoption. And me, who used to walk to the library because I didn't have internet on my free days to get air conditioning, to submit stories, is being effing prejudiced against poor people. Oh, how rich it is to say shit like that. And you know what? I still drew and wrote and submitted stories.

But, but you know that I am being really prejudiced against poor people. Do you want to talk about that?

I used computer paper and a pencil. And have you seen the artwork of Slay the Princess which is pretty much almost all mechanical pencil?

You're being insulting to poor people. You're saying poor people can't do art or be creative. When backed into a corner, 100% I was great at art. I made art with brie, I made art with a rock I found on the sidewalk.

Lascaux's caves is basically chewed and spat out dirt, dudes. And you're saying you need AI if you're poor. WHA~~ Some great artists were poor their entire lives.

Rembrandt???

I've made art out of an orange peel. Art is a result of resourcefulness and creativity.

You hate NDs

C-PTSD, dyscalculia, SPD. Yep, I hate myself. And damn it, I hate NDs, and fuck, I can't draw anything. OMG, I need AI /s

This is the only AI I used. This is called Adobe Illustrator. [A]dobe [I]llustrator, though I used Affinity as well.

I did test AI mostly to mock it, but I clearly marked it.

I created 100% of the brushes and all of the vectors. "OMG, I can't do art. I have a disability that makes me can't do art." /s

I heard the Autistic excuse crap too (that person wasn't autistic, BTW, I checked). I've done art exchanges with people in that ND camp as well, in fact, sometimes I feel like they are better than me.

You hate Disabled people (some of the bros called everyone else The disableds... ?.? And then I know you're not disabled)

I have CPTSD, which is more like a cocktail. I also get chronic pain from issues you don't need to know.

And I still was able to draw this. OMG, you're terrible and hate disabled people when you insist on not using AI.

BTW, There is no disability around creativity.

Disabled people don't have a disability around creativity. I saw someone sew clothes with their mouth. Are you going to tell me that sewing isn't creative? Someone was paralized from the neck down, on vents and was typing a novel from a computer tracking their eye movements. And this isn't the inspiration porn moment, but just saying. If they want to, they can.

You're being Elitist

Huh? lol rotfl

I have a degree in Anthropology concentrated in systems, I'm likely more of a red shirt. You adopted? You queer? You have disabilities? You're ND? You're female? You got called not real because you're all of these things and called a catfish?

You, gen AI bro, are more likely to be more elitist than I am.

And then he slinked off...

Because he had no defenses, and couldn't figure out how to think independently without AI. Whereas, I swear, the majority of my knowledge was gained by going to libraries (Some of that work is on this blog, BTW with clear pictures of the books I collected. Look for Robert Goheen. I took that picture in the university. I had to go to a university library for that. And no, I did not attend said university, but it is allowable by university rules as long as I don't try to check the book out.), which, BTW, he also called elitist. HAHAHA. I pay no money for books and actually put in the effort and that's elitist?

The majority of learning how to draw was done on my own by leveling up. Yes, I did take Graphic design classes. Yes, but most of that knowledge is now on the internet. The advantage of classes is being around other like-minded people and having that collective energy push you to be better and find out what you can and can't do, to push your limits. And I'm sorry, no AI can do that.

The best AI can do is fuck up hanbok and not understand what time period the hanbok came from. And I'm not going to teach it that.

And if it's elitist to say I clawed tooth and nail to be able to draw and spent time and effort, then fuck it, anyone that wakes up in the morning and puts in daily effort to get better at anything is elitist for not being lazy and learning how to think for themselves.

#fuck genai #fuck generative ai #gen ai bullshit #ai discourse

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xmhaoluvr · 9 months ago

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SULKY; TWS KYUNGMIN x READER

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

KYUNGMIN looked at the time inside the practice room and had noticed that it was already 11 PM. He sighed frustratingly and hurried to pack his things. He’s the only one left in the said room so he’s the one who turned off everything and closed up. Rushing to the elevator, he held his bag tightly in order for it to not fall out of his grasp

“Wait! Please hold the door!” He shouted out to the person inside the elevator but it was too late, thus, he made a detour and ran to the stairs that was on the other side of the building. He saw the flight of stairs while catching his breath from running and sighed deeply before running down

“Shit!” He cursed out loud after almost falling down before continuing his run for the HYBE Building main door

As he was about to run home to his apartment, he heard someone call his name “Kyungmin!!” He turned around and saw his senior, Seungkwan

“Ah, senior!” He greeted enthusiastically albeit heaving deeply “Why are you out of breath?” The older asked, “Ah, well, I need to rush home so…” Still catching his breath, he smiled to his senior “Let me give you a ride” Seungkwan offered “Is it okay?” Seungkwan nodded and Kyungmin followed him to his car

The car ride was full of laughs and conversation, and when Seungkwan found the right time to ask, he did, “Why were you running home?” He asked, swerving with one hand “Ah, well… my girlfriend” Kyungmin whispered out, feeling bashful as he massaged his ear. Seungkwan didn’t quite catch it though, much to Kyungmin’s dismay

“What was that?” Seungkwan asked again “Well, my girlfriend is waiting and we talked about coming home late when we don’t really have a packed schedule” The blonde admitted with a timid voice and Seungkwan laughed “You’re so cute, don’t take my laugh the wrong way. You just remind me of myself because my girlfriend is also like that” Seungkwan said with a laugh making Kyungmin do so as well

—

They reached Kyungmin’s apartment and the aforementioned bowed 90 degrees while thanking Seungkwan “Make sure to be extra loving to your girlfriend” Seungkwan teased before leaving, Kyungmin blushed and went up to their unit

Kyungmin unlocked the door and saw his girlfriend sitting on the living room watching TV… and she looked pissed. He gulped before setting down his bag and sitting next to her “‘m sorry” he said immediately but received no response

“Baby?” Nothing

“Love?” Nothing

“Pretty?” Nothing

“Sweetie?” Nothing

“Honey?” Still nothing

He had tried every corny call signs he could think of but he still received no response. She had stood up and walked to the kitchen and he followed; like a baby duck following the mother duck all while holding the hem of her shirt

She placed take outs on the table, slightly slamming it “Eat before sleeping” and left to go to their shared bedroom. Frowning, Kyungmin followed her inside and saw her tucking herself “Love…” he whined out, snuggling next to her and spooning her; he kept placing kisses on her cheeks, trying to be extra loving like how Seungkwan said

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t notice the time and I forgot to call you. I was so focused on practicing because I wanted to perfect our new choreography for our Comeback Show at Inkigayo. I know I should’ve called your first and I know I made you worried, I saw your 53 missed calls,” he said with a small smile

“I’m really sorry, baby. I promise I won’t ever do it again” he kissed her cheek one last time and heard her sniff “You crying?” “It’s just… I thought something happened to you” she said, wiping her tears before facing and hugging him, her face buried deep into his chest “Please call me first next time, I was so worried” he kissed the top of her head before caressing it and she continued to cry “I know, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again”

YAYYYY WE’RE DONE WITH MY SECOND FIC 🥹 i’ve always wanted to write for TWS but i never found the right motivation and inspiration to do so and now i’m overflooding with it 😭 this might not reach expectations but i hope it’s good enough 🥹

#tws #tws kyungmin #tws fanfic #we need more tws fanfics #fanfic #tws au #i think

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dead-lights · 8 months ago

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trai-lore!

because ya know. trailers. with lore.

i'll see myself out

but! before i go - I went and compiled all of the Vampires trailers I could find! I wasn't familiar with all of the shorts and I'm not 100% sure I found them all. There are a lot of contradictions, but aside from the gameplay trailer they can mostly be stitched together.

Also, I recognize I'm trying to wring blood from a stone, reading into things that EA never intended, but ya know. That's the point of exploring lore!

youtube

this is mostly validated by werewolves - Lily's dialogue confirms that Caleb was turned by Miss Hell, and the 7 years unlucky mirror confirms that Vlad ambushed her while she was brushing her teeth.

It looks like the bar Miss Hell attacks Caleb in is supposed to be in Forgotten Hollow. There are plenty of reasons he could've been there, but to me that implies that Lilith turned first, and he was there because that's where she hangs out now.

It looks like you're supposed to be able to see the normie parts of Forgotten Hollow from that cliff with the bench, rather than just more of the mountain. There's definitely supposed to be more than just those 5 lots.

I'm not sure if the person behind Miss Hell in the bar is anyone specific? they feel slightly familiar but I might be thinking of Leila Illes from island living, which came out afterwards.

It's unclear how Caleb ended up in the bathroom or whether he asked to turn - the animation is the same either way. In game, I've had a lot of success with both bat-form bathroom ambushes and the good ol' "ask for woohoo and then cancel the order as soon as you're alone together" maneuver so either is plausible. To me, it looks like she's reenacting her transformation, with her as Vlad, so she would've wanted unwilling prey. I've generally thought that Caleb followed her into the bathroom thinking he was going to get laid, but with that in mind it does make sense that she would've just ambushed him when he got up to pee (poor humans and their bladders can't handle their nectar). @charsimsalot has a lot of interesting things to say about how being forcibly turned would have affected Miss Hell in this excellent post about the apartment they built for the rebellious vampires!

That bathroom door is on backwards. I checked - that door only has a sign on one side. Maybe they really wanted to hammer home the point that this is a bathroom? the sink and toilet do a pretty good job of that...

Caleb is not a daywalker in this trailer - since this seems to show him in his earlier days, that 100% checks out. It takes 15 skill points to become a daywalker, which... yikes.

note: I know the sims is very gay these days but do keep in mind that vampires was released January 2017. Gay marriage wasn't fully legalized in the US until June 2015. It was a big deal that Caleb suave kissed a guy in the trailer!

fun fact: the song used for this, deadly flo, seems to be either very cheap or free to license. It is used in a few episodes of the Baking Championship franchise. Y'all, that franchise got me back into baking and directly inspired GOBC. I lost my absolute shit when I heard it playing! There are also parts of Holiday Baking Championship that sound suspiciously like the sims 2 theme... I kinda wonder if there's a simmer in their sound department.

youtube

Not really that interesting - earlier versions of their outfits/vlad's dark form. Lilith cannot actually turn into a bat in-game.

youtube

vlad bloodvein can use "deprive needs" (must be a master vampire at minimum)

brandy can turn into a bat (should be a minor vampire at minimum)

based on the view outside Brandy's bedroom window, it looks like the virtuous vampires might live in an apartment in San Myshuno?

vlad uses supernatural speed to collect figurines

youtube

Not very interesting - just Brandy and Elle eating.

↓↓↓ WARNING - jumpscare below ↓↓↓

youtube

lmao what

this one doesn't even seem real, but as far as I can tell it was in fact released as a teaser for the full trailer.

youtube

This is the official trailer - it lines up reasonably well with other lore. Also the song is so fun.

Most notably: this trailer shows that Caleb is the one who turned Inna. No context is given. Other promotional material & the in-game paintings show that she was a thrall, potentially for hundreds of years before Caleb turned her.

The exterior of the house where Caleb turns Inna looks exactly like Wolfsbane Manor. However, Inna's bedroom doesn't match any room in the manor. It looks like there is a nearly identical house where Widowshild Townhouse currently is, so either Inna was in that house, or Wolfsbane Manor has since been remodeled. It would be kinda interesting if Caleb and Lilith decided to buy Inna's old house when they moved...

When Caleb turns into a bat, he's in the graveyard to the left of Vlad's house. Maybe he and Lilith lived with Vlad for a time? It kinda looks like Vlad had a lot of vampires filtering in and out of his place.

Elle real horny. I wonder what happened to that guy - he isn't a gallery vampire but he shows up in a lot of the paintings. As far as I'm aware Elle doesn't show up in any paintings.

youtube

This trailer is an absolute mess. It contradicts enough existing lore that it shouldn't be taken as any sort of canon, but it's a decent source of inspiration to fill in the gaps, and I pulled heavily from it when I was choosing powers for the gallery vampires.

Elle uses her mist form (I checked the animations) - she must be a grand master. She can use Command.

Markus Crow has supernatural speed - must be master+

Lilith is using a computer at the beginning of this, which feels weird because this is supposed to be at least 50 years ago. That said, technology doesn't advance in the sims, so, sure.

This makes it look like Vlad just broke into her house and turned her like he did with Miss Hell, but to me Lily makes it sound like Lilith was a more active participant: "I remember when my cousin, Lilith, first told me she'd met a fascinating man named Vlad. After that, she started spending a lot of time "training" with him. I thought she meant they were workout buddies. It wasn't until later that I found out she'd been lured to the dark arts."

Lilith's bed is a reward from the painter career - not sure if the implication is that she earned it herself?

I can't really see outside Lilith's windows, but it does kinda look like Forgotten Hollow? Which doesn't make a lot of sense to me - why would she and Caleb have to move to Forgotten Hollow if they already lived there? That said, that isn't Lilith. And that isn't Caleb. This was from when their names were Gina and Raylan.

Note that "Raylan" doesn't have the good vampire aspiration, and his traits are completely different. The others aren't quite the same as the gallery sims, but at least they still have the same names.

Looking out the window, it looks like the Virtuous Vampires are in Forgotten Hollow with everyone else. In one of the shorts, it looks like they live in a big city. I'm not sure which I like better!

Lilith is used as the example for supernatural strength. While she doesn't actually have that in-game, this is part of why I like to make her fitness 10 brute with vampiric might.

Elle continues to be real horny. Who is that guy? I like the implication that they had to go get it on as bats because Vlad was taking a nap and they couldn't fuck in his coffin :(

Bonus! While this isn't a trailer, exactly, it's a promotional blog post from Vlad's point of view and it is the best. Every last part of this makes me happy, from Caleb and Lilith ganging up on Vlad to Vlad referring to sparring matches as "epic duels" (or, in this particular case, what seems like a pretty good training sesh for Caleb).

Nothing about Lilith makes it seem like she doesn't feed on people except a) her household description and b) this post. That said, those two things about as primary as canon can get.

Vlad claims to own 100 gray coats

Vlad only fought Caleb. There could be so many reasons for that - was Caleb the one who made the challenge? Does Vlad not want to fight his offspring?

Vlad claims that the Encyclopedia Vampirica is mostly based on him. Make of that what you will.

Second bonus: Did you know that Vlad has a normie cousin??? There was a bit of promotional content for seasons involving the Climate family. This is that time they invited Vlad over for Harvestfest.

Please let me know if I missed anything! There's a lot of material out there, much of it no longer available on EA's site, so it's definitely possible there are things I didn't find.

#vlad straud #lilith vatore #caleb vatore #the sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 lore #ts4 vampires

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