#(and also inspire me to go make myself heard and do the shit that needs to get done these next few years)
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shatterboxin · 26 days ago
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didn't expect this to be the thing that makes me want to reread cute mutants, but the current state of the united states government is making the queer rage vibes of cute mutants seem VERY appealing
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zorrasucia · 5 months ago
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Congrats on 300💕 & thank you for your fics
Sooo many prompts that it’s hard to choose, but these spoke to me, but whatever inspires you most:)
Carmy x reader
❛ say you want me, and i’m yours. ❜
❛ you look like you were jealous. ❜
❛ there’s so many things i wanna do to you. ❜
Hi, Anon! Thank you for reading 💜🥺
I chose ❛ there’s so many things i wanna do to you❜ for a established relationship Carmy x Reader phone sex moment 😉 I hope you like it!
"Hey."
"Carmy," you replied sweetly. You had rushed to call him as soon as you read his text. are u awake? "Can't sleep?"
He let out a sigh. "Long day."
"Bad day?" you asked.
"Busy. And everyone was acting like a fucking asshole, even me. Especially me," he confessed. In the background you could hear the tattletale crack of aluminum foil and plastic as he popped some chewing gum.
"Trying to quit smoking again?"
"Always," he mumbled.
"Are you actually trying to quit for your palate and whatever or are you avoiding Richie?"
"What do you mean?" he replied a little defensively.
"Well, you usually talk with him during your smoke breaks. And... I don't know, he understands you. Maybe you don't want that right now," you guessed.
There was a long silence as Carmy took in what you said.
"How do you do that?" he asked abruptly.
"Do what?"
"See through all my bullshit," he explained. "I didn't even- I mean holidays are the worst and he'll definitely talk about Mikey at some point and how I didn't come home enough-" he paused. "I just don't want to feel like that again, you know?"
"Maybe talking with him can help," you said. "Maybe he feels like shit about it too. You both miss him, right?"
"Yeah..."
"You can't avoid him forever, Carm."
"I know," you heard him sigh. "Fuck, I miss you."
"Miss you too, baby," you replied softly, lying back on the bed of your childhood bedroom. "It's only a few more days."
"Are you having a nice time?" he asked gently.
"Yeah, it's, uh... Holidays with family are always a little weird, right?" you shrugged. "Got you a present, by the way."
"Yeah?" you could hear his smile.
"Yeah. Top secret," you giggled. "I also bought lingerie on discount - I don't know if that counts as a present for you or for me."
"Fuck," Carmy sighed again. "I already said I miss you. You don't need to say shit like that."
"There's a long weekend coming up," you appeased him. "We can make up for lost time."
"There's so many things I wanna do to you," he rasped.
"Yeah?" you tried to hide just how flustered his voice was making you. "What kind of things?"
"Fuck, baby..."
You could picture him laying on the couch, head over the armrest, blushing.
"Come on, I want to know," you encouraged him, you could only hear static for a little while. "It'll be fun. Like a wishlist but sexy," you teased. "I can touch myself while you tell me."
He coughed - you had taken him by surprise. You had surprised yourself too to be honest, but it was exciting and oddly liberating to only listen to him, the way his voice and breathing betrayed his emotions.
"You're going to kill me one of these days," he said after he recovered from his coughing fit.
"You don't sound too upset about it," you commented. You didn't pressure him - if he wanted to forget the whole thing, you'd let him.
He took a deep inhale. "I- uh- I wanna eat you out."
You let out a shaky exhale, a familiar warmth in your belly as you thought of Carmy between your legs.
"How?"
"I want you to sit on my face..." he said.
"Fuck, Carmy," you inhaled sharply, your free hand going into your underwear, touching your folds and finding them damp already. "I would love that. Fuck. Your tongue always feels so good on me."
"The way you taste. Fuck," he panted. Was he touching himself too? "I always end up with my face covered in you. My chin, my nose..."
"I love when your nose- Fuck, I think about it for days. Just your pretty nose making me shake and moan," it was so easy to tell him embarrassing truths when your fingers were playing with your clit, making you roll your eyes.
"Jesus," Carmy groaned. Oh, he was definitely touching himself. "I'll make you cum like that. I want your thighs shaking around my face. I want to hold you with both hands while you ride me, use me."
"Fuck," you moaned, your pussy clenching once around your middle finger, the heel of your hand pressing on your clit.
"What do you want, baby? What do you want to do to me?" there was an urgency to his voice. You liked him like that, a little needy.
"I want to touch your cock, make you feel good with my hands-" you said, putting a second finger inside you and moaning.
"Yeah," he was breathing heavily into the speaker.
"I want you to beg for it, Carm," you confessed. "I want to make you feel so fucking good and stop right before you cum. Just keep going until you can't take it anymore."
"Holy shit," he gasped. "And then? After I beg?"
You started fucking into your hand, writhing on the bedsheets.
"After you beg, I'll give it to you," you said simply, hearing as Carmy groaned lewdly. "Let you fuck me however you want, as hard as you want. You can cum as long as you cum inside me."
"Shiiiiit," he keened and the sound took you right over the edge, pussy fluttering around your fingers as he let out low grunts. You pictured him, face red and hair sweaty, eyes glazed and8 breathing heavy, ropes of cum painting his stomach. You sighed, feeling electricity all over, a gentle warmth caressing your skin.
"Fuck," Carmy exhaled on the other side of the line. "You meant that?"
"Yeah," you let out a nervous laugh. "You?"
"Yeah," he replied.
"I think we have our weekend planned out, then."
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juletheghoul · 6 months ago
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Let Me Follow (Part 7)
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AN: Ooop. I haven't updated this in a year and I feel terrible, I am trying to go through all of the unfinished fics I have, and update one every week. (dream big Jules) Hopefully get through all of the things I have in my head. Hopefully it's been worth the wait! I've done my best to edit this myself, but it hasn't been beta'd. Enjoy! xo 🩷
Joel Miller x F!Reader
Pairing: Joel x F!Reader
Word Count: 4.8K
Warnings: (18+ NO MINORS) ANGST, language, age-gap (about 10-11 years, legal, reader is of age), Yearning, post-apocalyptic world, Joels injury / ptsd / nightmare
Let me know if I missed anything!
reblogs are appreciated
Masterlist Series Masterlist
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He’s gone when you wake up. Both of them are, they’re gone most of the day but it makes sense. You chalk it up to Joel catching up with his brother and Ellie taking advantage of the safety of this place. You, in turn, find yourself almost haunting the house Maria and Tommy had put you up in. The time spent in the trailer, although quiet for the most part, was also wrapped up in the web of anxiety. Every second spent there was corrupted with fear of someone finding it, always the danger of infected wandering into the woods and surprising you when you’d go scavenging, and in comparison to that, this felt peaceful. 
This house gave you a chance to rest, to nap and enjoy the safety of the walls surrounding you, surrounding the town itself. Even when you got hungry, it was only a matter of making your way down the street to the cafeteria. People looked at you with curiosity, but didn’t pry, which only inspired intense gratitude. 
The whole day was a much needed respite from the worry and anxiety, until Ellie stormed into the house to find you reading an old novel on the sofa late in the evening. Anger burning on her face and it seemed strange to be so angry in a place like this. 
“What happened?” The adrenaline shoots up, the familiarity of it is so depressing, it seems your body is always ready to feel this way. 
“He’s leaving me.” She runs up the stairs and you find yourself running up after her, the door to the bedroom she’d claimed all but shut in your face before you could follow her inside. 
“Ellie? Can I come in?” You knock, hoping she’ll elaborate, “Ellie?”
“Whatever.” She calls out and you follow her inside, finding her sitting on a dusty bay window. 
“What happened?” Your heart races but you do your best to control your breathing. 
“He’s leaving me,” she sighs, picking up what looks to be someone's journal, “I heard him tell Tommy, that he has to leave me.” You frown at her. Joel hadn’t exactly been the cuddly type but he did care about Ellie, that had been obvious to you. “Maria told me something about him, something that makes sense-” 
“I wouldn’t listen to what Maria has to say about Joel, it seems to me she’s been listening to Tommy say some not-so-nice things about his brother.” Annoyance burns brightly in your gut that she’d dare poison Ellie against the man that had been keeping her safe. 
“No–I didn’t let her talk shit, I told her where to fucking go about that but–” A soft tap on the door pulls you out of the argument, Joel’s voice coming through before he opens the door. 
The familiar ‘Joel-frown’ is back in place as his gaze shifts from Ellie, to you, and back to her again.
“Listen-” He starts, but she doesn’t let him get very far.
“Why are you here?” The anger still burns on her face, but you know what’s really there. Sadness, fear, disappointment, you know because you’ve felt it all before.
“I came here to talk to you, both of you.”
“No, why are you still here? If you’re gonna ditch us then ditch us.” her eyes cast down as she speaks, looking without really seeing the journal in her hands. You see him let out a heavy sigh, resignation taking over. 
“What exactly did you hear?”
“‘I have to leave her, you have to take her’,” your eyebrows must have raised up into your hairline, Joel leaving Ellie had never crossed your mind, “You know I stuck up for you today because I thought-” She bit her lip, cutting off her own words.
“I made this decision for your own good. You’ll be way better off with Tommy, he knows the area better than I do-” He was floundering and it was as though you were listening to a stranger, his whole demeanour completely different from last night. 
“Do you give a shit about me or not?” Her voice rose, and your heart broke for her.
“Of course I do.” 
“Then what are you so afraid of? I’m not her, you know? Maria told me about Sarah-”
“Don’t.” The change in him was chilling, “Don’t say another word.” Seeing his eyes shift, the whole of him as cold as ice. 
“I’m sorry about your daughter, Joel, but I have lost people too.” And there it was. 
He’d had a daughter, and he’d lost her. This was it, the missing piece. It made so much sense, the cloud that followed him around, the loss that poisoned him to the world. It wasn’t just the terrible, awful, practically unbearable state of the world, it was his loss. 
“You have no idea what loss is.” His eyes hardened even more, and you understood why he would be upset. The loss of a child would definitely make anyone lose their minds, but Ellie wasn’t wrong. Everyone in this world knows what loss is.
“Everybody I have cared for has either died or left me. Everybody, fucking except for you!” She pushes him, her anger and hurt getting the best of her and you can’t help but move from your place on the couch to comfort her. “So don't tell me that I'd be safer with somebody else because the truth is I would just be more scared.” Your hand goes to her shoulder, letting her know you’re there for her. 
“You’re right. You aren’t my daughter, and I sure as hell ain’t your dad. Now come dawn, you and I go our separate ways-” Your hand flashes up without your permission, and cracks him clean across the face. It was too much for you to bear. 
“Enough! I am so sick and tired of this, and I am through with letting you act this way. You can’t keep living your life like this, Joel. Head down, barreling through like a juggernaut, cutting through everyone and everything, completely closed off to the world.” The hurt was sharp in your voice- “I can’t even begin to imagine how much losing your daughter must have hurt you, I wish it had never happened. I cannot take it away from you, neither of us can but we don’t deserve for you to treat us this way. Losing her doesn’t mean you can throw Ellie away.” His eyes flashed with something, a hurt so deep it was part of him, “Tomorrow, we’re going–whether it’s with you, or Tommy is up to you.” You turned from him then, gathering Ellie into your arms. You heard the door click, and then you and Ellie were alone. 
-
You spent the night with Ellie.
A soft knock sounded as you gathered the few things you had to take with you, both of you. Ellie opened the door to a very resigned Tommy standing at the door. 
“Y’all ready?” He spoke to both of you, the look on your face leaving no doubt as to whether Ellie would go alone or not.
“Yes, we’re good to go,” you reply and he nods once before leading the way out, “Come on Ellie.” You don’t look at the room across the hall, even as the outline of the door burns bright in your peripheral. That it was closed and he was probably asleep inside only filled your stomach with rocks, so you keep your eyes forward and ignore the feeling.
The morning is crisp enough to see your breath and it wreaths around your head like a halo as you all make your way towards the barn. Your anger with Joel is a simmering pot on the back burner, and that’s where it has to stay, there’s too much to focus on with Ellie to give it any attention. Tommy leads the way, bundled up with a rifle on his back and the anger you’re trying to tamp down finds its bullseye.
“How much shit did you talk about Joel, Tommy? Be honest.” He turns, his brow furrowed, “Must have been a lot, with the way Maria was eyeing him.”
“Yeah, not to mention giving me some bullshit warning about him not being who I thought he was.” Ellie chimes in, he lets out a deep sigh.
“You don’t understand, we did terrible things-“
“Yes, both of you, and you got to explain yourself. You’re letting your grievances with your brother colour the way people in this town view him. If he stays here, you’ve just made his life harder when you both did the same shit.” You round the corner, ducking into the barn to find the man you’re discussing, loading the horse's saddle with what looked to be supplies. You’re angry at him, at the cruel words he threw at Ellie, at the thought that after all of your confessions he might have let you go. It’s hard not to feel relief that he’s here though, ready to follow her, ready to follow you. 
“You came here to say goodbye or something?” Ellie’s voice is neutral, but the hurt simmers under the surface. 
“No, I came here to steal one of these horses.” He kicks at the ground, nervous.
“I woulda gave you one.” Tommy sighs, his frown still in place but now directed at Joel.
“I know. Anyway, that was thirty minutes ago, and I guess you deserve a choice. I still think you’d be better off with Tommy-“
“Let’s go.” She tosses her bag at him. Your lip curls without your permission, but you keep it to yourself.
“Okay.” He grunts out the word, but you can see he’s just as affected as you are. He turns, and speaks to Tommy while you and Ellie lead the horses out, letting them have a moment. 
“You okay?” Ellie’s eyes find yours at the sound of your words, and for a moment you see her age and it breaks your heart. Her eyes are wide, dark shadows underneath them, all of the stress and the weight of her lot in this life painted across her face, and still she smiles. 
“Fuck yeah, all good.” 
God, she’s just a kid. 
“Let’s get going.” Joel comes out, Tommy’s rifle on his back and his eyes are wild, darting between you and Ellie. His words still ring out in your ears, but so does the knowledge of his loss. It’s the Rosetta Stone, the why of all of his anger and hurt and reluctance to open up to anyone and anything coming into focus. 
There are two horses, and Ellie claims one right away, leaving you to share with Joel. He climbs up and swings his leg around, then holds out his hand to help you climb on, and wordlessly you take it. The horse is calm underneath you, for which you are grateful, even when you climb up, much less graceful than Joel and sit tucked into his back. 
The anger in you still burns bright. Too bright to say anything to him just yet, so you let it wash over you. Ignore the happy chant to have him there, to have his familiar, safe shape solid in front of you, and focus on not spooking the animal beneath you. 
Hours pass with small talk between Ellie and Joel, and silence from you. He doesn’t press, but his voice sounds lighter than it ever has with her. You let them have this conversation and bonding and you keep your mouth shut. He tests the waters though, your arms wrap around his waist, and every so often you feel him squeeze your hand or your knee. A silent olive branch, a request for connection and as much as you try to hold out and ignore him, punish him for his cruelty, you cannot help but give in. You press your lips to the little bit of skin exposed at the back of his neck. You can feel the way he melts, and part of you feels guilty for denying him for so long, but then his words come back and so does the anger. 
Ellie has gone ahead, just a little bit, close enough that he can keep an eye on her, but far enough away that he tries his luck with words. 
“It was bad wasn’t it?” He speaks over his shoulder, his words heavy with resignation.
“Real bad.”
He sighs, but says nothing else. You don’t expect an apology, and you don’t get one. It’s there though, the remorse, in his voice, threaded through the soft words and explanations he gives Ellie as the day goes by. He speaks to her of his life before, and it’s a marvel to hear him speak so much, he used to be a contractor. The shape of the word in your mouth feels familiar, one of those words adults used to say but there’s no reference for it in your memory. She is happy, that is all that matters.
When you stop to camp, it’s in a densely populated forest, eerily quiet but good enough. The land is far enough away from any QZ to be free of infected, but they aren’t the biggest worry. He sets up camp, a couple of sleeping bags all piled together.
“Sleep, both of you, I’ll take first watch.” It doesn’t take much convincing on your part, and for once, Ellie doesn’t grumble, she yawns hard enough to tremble and gets into the sleeping bag without comment. You want to give him something, a promise that you’ll discuss what you both know you need to discuss but he shakes his head when your eyes meet. “Sleep, Sunny, you need your rest.”
You nod, and sleep claims you, quick as falling.
You wake with a gasp. 
“You’re okay.” He’s sitting on a fallen log, watching the surrounding darkness. Full consciousness creeps in, and awareness calms the anxiety of whatever nightmare that had spilled over. Even the horses are calm, no immediate danger threatening, but there’s no way you’re going back to sleep. 
“I’m up now. Here, give me the gun, you should get some shut-eye.” You stretch for a moment, before getting up. At this point, he knows you better than to argue, and so as much as he wants to keep watch, he gets up with a groan, and climbs into the sleeping bag still permeated with your body heat. The brief spark of warmth and comfort that was born of your new found intimacy with him, although still there, is obscured by the things you know you need to discuss, but it won’t be tonight. He knows it too, and so you keep watch, and when the morning comes, you all set out again. 
-
Days pass, and you travel in peace. The days are cold but clear, and he surprises you even more. He teaches Ellie to shoot, instructs her on how to load and reload the rifle, how to aim and even lets her keep a pistol and you can see the father so clearly in him. He notices your quiet withdrawal, and he lets you have your silence, but it doesn’t last.
Three nights into your trek, he finally breaks the silence. 
You feel him slip into the sleeping bag behind you, the night is colder than you expected and his warmth is welcome, even if your heart is still hurt. You’d found a small copse of trees, hidden enough that you could all sleep relatively calmly.
“Sunny.” It’s just above a whisper,  “How long you gonna punish me?” His breath tickles the little hairs at the back of your neck, raising goosebumps in its wake. You sigh.
“I’m not punishing you Joel.” His hand slips around your waist.
“You’re angry at me, I can feel it.” He presses his lips to the skin just below your ear, soft and sweet and your eyes close at the feel of it, you turn towards him. 
“I’m hurt,” he pulls you close enough to tangle his legs with yours, “Not just for what you said to Ellie, but for what happened to you.” You felt the clench in his jaw, felt how his body tensed. “I’m not trying to pry into your past Joel, I don’t want to open old wounds and make you relive anything, but I’ve been with the two of you long enough to see the bond. That girl-” you gestured to Ellie’s sleeping form near the horses, “-sees you as a father. You’re all she has, and you were ready to drop her.” 
“I know.” He pressed his forehead to yours, the tension going out of him like a balloon deflating. “It’s why I didn’t think I could do this, I am scared that I won’t be able to protect her, if she got hurt on my watch I couldn’t forgive myself.” All of a sudden you felt stupid, his anger and lashing out at her was a way to protect her, it didn’t excuse it, but it definitely explained it. “I don’t think she heard my whole conversation with Tommy, I was tellin’ him how scared I am.” 
“She needs you around, she needs to know you aren’t going to abandon her.” You can’t help but bring your hands to his face, comfort him. “We need you, I need you, I don’t want you to leave me behind either.” The little part of yourself that you’d been stomping down reared its head. “I’m sorry I slapped you, I shouldn’t have done that.” He shakes his head, dismissing your apology. 
“I won’t leave you behind. I meant it when I said I needed you to be patient with me.” He presses his lips to your hand, then to your lips, an apology and a promise and you clutch to it, despite the fear that permeates every aspect of the world. You don’t say anything more, trusting that when he's ready, he’ll tell you about his loss.
-
The university is a massive, rundown building, eerily quiet, without many signs of life. 
“No fireflies.” Ellie points out when you stop just in front of an overturned car.
“Probably in the middle, safer.” Joel leads the way, and the three of you continue throughout the grounds. He answers Ellie’s questions about University life, about anything and everything she can think of while you focus on your surroundings. The quiet irks you.
Monkeys roam the campus the closer you get to the building, and she’s excited to see them, you’re a little more wary but they scatter at the sound of you approaching.
“Lookit.” He points to a sign, a bright firefly symbol spray-painted onto it.
“Here we go.” She sounds a lot braver than she looks, her expression matches yours. This whole place was creepy, and your stomach roiled the closer you got to the entrance of the building. The sound of the horses' hooves clicking onto the pavement echo around you as you approach, guard houses sit unmanned just outside the door, and your stomach drops further. 
“Guard houses.” Joel voices your thoughts. 
“No guards.” You reply, and the mood sours further. “Let’s tie the horses, and continue on foot.” You gesture to a tree and they both nod in agreement. With them taken care of, you make your way inside. 
“Gun?” Ellie looks to Joel, and he nods, she takes out the pistol he’d trusted her with, his rifle at the ready and you follow close behind him, no weapon, but eyes sharp.
The inside is abandoned, but there is a mess of tables, discarded equipment and supplies left behind. 
“There were definitely doctors here.” She rifles through a stack of old gauze, gloves and other things littering the tables, pulling a list from under an empty box.
“This is a packing list,” Joel takes the list from her, “Something you make before moving.” There’s a distinct lack of dust and dirt blown in on the mess left behind you cannot help but focus on.
“Looks like they just left-” Something crashes above, movement in one of the higher floors interrupting your sentence, “maybe not all of them.” You move as one, slowly and quietly following the source of the noise, your heart races, scared of who or what you might find here. Joel leads the way, his rifle at the ready, Ellie brings up the rear, gun in her hands and pointed down like he’d taught her. The place looks more like an abandoned hospital than a school. There are carts knocked over, hospital beds and IV bags still hooked up to the poles littering the hallways. 
He counts down silently, hand just hovering over the door containing the source, and then opens it. A monkey shrieks, and seeing you jumps out the open window. You let out a heavy breath. 
“Well, at least it ain’t clickers.” Joel’s tone is as relieved as you feel. 
“Yeah, no fireflies either. Maybe in all that research they turned into fucking monkeys!” He frowns at her, there’s a disappointment heavy in the air. So much travelling, just to come up empty. There’s a giant map in the middle of the room though. You make your way over to it, there are different colour pins all leading up to one place, Salt Lake City, Utah.
“That’s where they went?” She’s staring at the map beside you. 
“All the pins lead there.” You press your finger to the spot on the map, Joel is beside you, all three of you studying it. 
“Maybe they were getting ahead of the weather? Better facilities? I don’t know.” He frowns, letting out a breath but you hear it, people talking outside the window. You shush them, gesturing to the window but they hear it now too. Your heart jackhammers in your chest, any and all peace you’d found from finding this place empty is gone. 
Quietly you all move closer and peek out the window, and see four men walking past, they hold crowbars, and baseball bats and it’s obvious they’re raiders. 
“Out the back.” Joel whispers, and then the three of you take off. Within a few tense minutes, you’re all back outside, ducking behind piled up sandbags to make sure you don’t encounter anyone. With the coast clear, you all run towards the horses. Ellie climbs up onto hers, and you climb onto the one you share with Joel while he unties them. 
“Joel!” Ellie screams, one man has followed, baseball bat high in the air but Joel turns in time and ducks out of the way, the bat swings hard, hitting the tree and shatters. Ellie holds up her arm, aiming the gun but they move too erratically. 
“Wait Ellie! You might shoot Joel–” She puts it down, he doesn’t need help, they grapple and slam against the tree but then Joel has wrapped his arm around the man's neck, and with a sickening crunch, he falls. When Joel turns, your stomach drops. 
He looks down, and the butt of the broken bat is sticking out of his lower abdomen. He takes a deep breath, and pulls it out and a wave of nausea hits you to see at least three inches of wood come out, his blood pulsing between his fingers. 
“Joel–get on the horse!” You scream out to him, seeing the others spotting you and running full speed. He struggles, but climbs up with a pained yell, swinging his leg over and managing to get in front of you. 
“Get back!” Ellie follows behind, shooting at them when they get too close, with the frosty wind whipping at your face you get away. The horses gallop across the grounds and away, your grip on Joel is iron.
You know that going so fast is only hurting him but you have to get far enough away that they won’t follow. 
“They don’t seem to be following us, I think we’re safe.” Ellie calls out behind you and you’re glad she’s keeping an eye on your back, because you cannot focus on anything other than Joel’s weakening grip on the reins. 
“Joely, baby you have to hold on, please–” He teeters, swaying like a boat in choppy waters and you feel the way he cannot hold himself up anymore. “Joel-Joel!” He topples off the horse and into a pile of snow despite your best efforts, he's so pale you can barely contain the tears that flow freely down your face. “Joel, please, please wake up, we need you to wake up.” You slap at his face, but he doesn’t stir. Ellie is off her horse and kneeling beside you, trying to aid in waking him but she’s as unsuccessful as you are. She presses his hands as well as hers to where the blood pulses out of him slowly. 
“Joel, open your eyes.” You stare at him while she speaks, pressing your hand to his face, “I can’t fucking do this without you, I don’t know where the fuck I’m going, or what the fuck I’m going to do, we need you Joel please, get up.” Tears stream down her face and it hits you then. You’ve cursed him, this is what comes from loving another person. 
There’s no time, you have to move him. 
“Let’s get him somewhere safe, Ellie, one of those houses.” You gesture to a residential area not far from where he fell. There’s no way you can carry him, instead you look for something to put him on that you can drag like a sled. You send Ellie to look, warning her to be careful and to keep her gun out and she comes back with a wide mat, almost like a big dog bed and it’s perfect. You shuffle him onto it, and tie the mat to the back of one of the horses, pulling him towards one of the houses. 
It takes so long to get him into the basement. By the time you’ve piled a stained mattress and musty blankets and laid him on it, your skin is slick with frozen sweat, your breath comes out in pants, exhausted with the effort. There had been an old towel in one of the bathrooms of the house, Ellie had grabbed it while you wrestled him to where he lay. Once settled, you ripped it up, and moved his shirt to press it to the wound, barely looking at it. You had to stop the bleeding, if he kept bleeding he’d die. 
“What are we going to do?” She watches, terrified. 
“I don’t know.” You want to comfort her, but you cannot stop swallowing the lump in your throat. You both stay quiet for a while after that, focused on his breathing. 
It’s because I love him
The thought squeezes your heart like a vice, the curse of you fills your head, overtaking every thought. This is what happens when you love another person, the black hole has taken him just like it took your parents, just like it took Johnny and there is nothing to be gained but misery and heartache. The black pit of your love is full of emptiness and all you’d done was sentence him to death. You should have just let them leave, given them your supplies and stayed in your trailer. 
Tears stream steadily down your face, hoping against hope that he’ll wake up, that the wound will close, that nothing inside had been too badly damaged. You hoped you’d wake up back in that bed in Jackson, that this was all just some horrible nightmare and that he’d be there, rubbing your back. You didn’t wake up though, and he lay there motionless while you cried, breathing shallow enough to fill your stomach with nothing but dread and nausea and regret and every other horrible thing you’ve felt since this world went to shit. 
You move the towel after a while, to see how bad the damage actually is and your body tenses, it’s angry and red and still blood pulses out, his skin shredded where the sharp wood had pierced him.
“We need to close it, we should see if we can find a needle and thread.” You speak to her, but she watches him, his eyes are open, and there is nothing but naked fear in them. He groans and grabs at your arm hard enough to bruise when you press the towel back to the wound. 
“Go.” He grits it out, at both of you. She puts her hands on yours, helping to staunch the blood. “Go, leave, take the gun.” He repeats it. 
“Shut up, shut the fuck up Joel!” She all but screams at him but he grabs her by the jacket, pulling her close. 
“You go.” He doesn’t relent, “You go. You go north, go to tommy.” He shivers, speaking the words clearly and when he pushes her back, she stumbles, staring at him in disbelief. His eyes find yours, and he repeats himself. “Leave.” He does not expect to survive, and all at once you are angry with him, angry with yourself for ever having opened your heart, angry at the world for your lot in life. His eyes find yours then, tears slowly streaming from them, the same anger burning in your chest shining out through his eyes. 
You wipe at your eyes, and rise. Leaving him there, as you make your way up the stairs, and out of the basement. 
She catches up to you in the kitchen. 
“Are we really leaving him?” 
“No. I’m looking for something to stitch him up, but if you want to go find Tommy I won’t stop you, you can shoot, and he’s taught you how to keep watch and find safe places to sleep. You can take all of the supplies–” You open cupboards, pulling them off the hinges in your haste and spilling drawers in the pursuit of something, anything to help him. 
“I’m not leaving either.” She moves, and helps you search. 
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readerthatreadsss · 2 years ago
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Requesting more dom!peter 😮‍💨🥵
𝗔/N: Your request is my command! (especially since I've been searching for more dom!Peter fics myself and have been failing so I might as well do it my damn self!) Also, yeah, it's been a damn long time lmao. I planned to finish up and release this like 4 months ago. Then a whole bunch of bad shit happened and I kinda gave up on writing for a little bit (outside of school cause I need that damn Bachelor's degree) BUT I've slowly started reading again and that bled into me opening up my drafts and finding this and spending some time with it. If you couldn't tell I had a shit ton of fun with this one...so feel free to check my newly updated Masterlist and request guidelines and send me more requests! The more I get, the more I'm gonna force myself to actually write them. (If you already sent one just know I’m working on it I promise)
𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗡𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 | 𝗧𝗮𝘀𝗺!𝗣𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗲𝗿
(heavily inspired by the song with the same title by Adele.) It came up in my shuffle and when I started listening to the lyrics it was just too perfect.
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he's so fucking pretty aghhhh (gif not mine)
𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: Tasm!Peter Parker x Vigilante!Fem reader
𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 5.6k+ (This is my big comeback so I might as well feed yall)
𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: You and Peter have been broken up for about 3 years, but when an impromptu visit to your apartment takes a turn...that may no longer be the case...
𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 (𝟭𝟴+ 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗗𝗡𝗜): SMUT!, lil bit of angst at the end (ex to lovers so ofc), minimal use of y/n, P*rn-with-plot, Reader and Peter are FERAL for each other because of their powers (enhanced senses and all that), p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap your willy before you fuck her silly), a lil possessive Peter, oral (r receiving), fingering, praise kink, Peter using his webs to restrain reader (pre-consented ofc), dom!Peter, sub!Reader (bratty at first tho), pet names (sweetheart, baby, pretty girl, angel), choking, rough sex, brief spanking, other positions, creampie, etc...
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The remaining sunlight of the evening bled through your wide studio apartment windows as you finished folding what was left of your newly washed laundry. The plan for the rest of the evening was simple;
Drink two bottles of wine (knowing that your enhanced metabolism would sober the effects), catch up on a few missing assignments to keep your NYU professors off your ass, then jump into your suit and go patrolling.
It was a familiar routine.
Or at least, it had been...since he left.
Your relationship with him ended during your first year of college. To say it hurt like hell would be an immense understatement.
What hurt the most was the fact that you both gave everything you had to make it work...but long distance can be a bitch.
On that warm Saturday night in May, your ex-boyfriend received a call informing him that he had been accepted into a very prestigious engineering program (with a full-ride scholarship attached) all the way in California.
You applied for the very same program, so you knew just how big of an opportunity it would be. And, in good faith, you pushed him to take the offer.
You both insisted, "we'll make it work," and "we'll video chat and text every day. It'll be fine!"
What a load of horseshit.
It took 6 months for you to both arrive at the conclusion that you couldn't juggle your individual academic loads, your nighttime hero personas, AND a long-distance relationship all at the same time. A three-hour time difference didn't help matters either.
It took a while, but you eventually moved on. You kept your grades up, went on a few dates here and there, and even managed to convince yourself that you were doing fine without him.
Until...
*knock knock knock*
Your head peeked out from the fridge to look where you heard the strong yet hesitant knocks on your front door.
Only a handful of people knew where you lived and you weren't expecting to see any of them today.
Assuming it would be a postal worker or someone along those lines, you swung open the door with a polite smile.
"Hi-"
You felt your voice die in your throat as you locked eyes with the deep brown ones you hadn't seen in three years.
"Peter," his name fell from your lips, barely audible.
"Hi, Y/N," he replied with that awkward grin you knew all too well.
His hair was shorter than the last time you saw him, but from the tight fit of his jacket, you could see that was about the only thing about him that shrunk.
You wanted to actually hit yourself in the head for actually imagining yourself doing many things to his large...meaty...biceps- NO, no, no, no get a grip! a voice of logic sounded in your mind.
You hadn't realized how long you stood there silently sizing him up until he spoke again. "Can I...uh...come in, maybe?"
"Umm...sure," you nervously answered, finally taking note of the small cardboard box he was holding.
As you stepped aside to allow him entrance into your apartment, his familiar scent invaded your sensitive senses.
"Oh God," you muttered under your breath, knowing that he heard you, yet unaware that your scent had basically the same effect on him as well.
"You alright?" he turned and asked you in concern trying to hide the tightening of his jeans with the box he brought.
You nodded way too fast, promptly putting some distance between yourself and him. He hadn't been there for longer than 5 seconds and he was already having an effect on you.
"How've you been?" he questioned you, scratching his neck and actively avoiding eye contact. Unbeknownst to you, he was currently repeating every physics law he could remember in his mind to try to quell his growing erection.
It wasn't working very well.
"I've been fine. You?" you quickly spoke, slightly out of breath.
"I-uh-I'm alright," he shook his head with a tight-lipped smile.
He soon found himself just looking at you. It wasn't a blank stare, no, it was the sort of intense look you unintentionally gave someone when trying to commit every single feature to memory as if you weren't certain when you'd get another chance to.
It was a habit of his you noticed a lot when you were dating. And just as it did back then, it sent chills running rampant down your spine. Not to mention your nipples growing obviously hard behind your large shirt with no bra to hide it.
Peter noticed it immediately and fought back a smile, which you glimpsed.
"Why are you here, Peter?" you decided to get down to business before your body betrays you any further.
The brunette let the question hang in the air for a few seconds before actually coming up with an answer. "I wanted to drop these off," he placed the small box on your kitchen counter.
Your eyes immediately narrowed. "You could have mailed it. Or you could've just dropped it at the door and then left. So why are you really here Peter?" you would have felt worse about your tone if you weren't so bothered.
Why the hell did he feel the need to suddenly show up and make you start feeling things you swore you wouldn't feel for him again?
Peter took a deep breath. "Aunt May called me last week. She's not doing too good. So, I came back to help take care of her."
You felt your stomach sink at his words. While you both dated, May grew to be like a second mother to you. You had no idea she was sick.
"Oh shit Peter-I'm so sorry," you crossed the room to engulf him in a hug, despite your initial reaction to his visit.
Peter immediately accepted your hug and found the anxiety in his body dissipating soon after. Your hugs tended to have that effect on him.
He couldn't stop himself from deeply inhaling and drawing in your hair's familiar scent when he wrapped his hands around your clothed waist.
A few seconds passed before you released each other, with you also savoring the feel of his body against you and the way how your skin lit up with goosebumps though there was a thin layer of clothing separating his hands from you.
"I was just cleaning up my old room at May's and I found some of your stuff so I figured I'd drop by and..."
You nodded in understanding and walked over to where he placed the box.
It was mostly filled with old t-shirts, tools, and gadgets from days when you would sleep over at Peter's or stop by to help each other with school projects.
"Thanks," you sent him a smile as you closed the box.
Your smile warmed Peter's heart. It was actually his second favorite thing about you, after your hugs of course. "Yeah, you're welcome," he smiled back, running his hand through his hair. It was a mess by now, but you still wanted to run your hands through it…or maybe even pull on it-
"Sorting through some of this stuff made me realize how much I...missed you," he said, his tone growing more assured.
Thankfully, you were still facing away from him, not giving him the chance to catch the pained expression that briefly crossed your face.
But you could feel him slowly approaching your frozen figure and found your body silently reacting in ways it shouldn't be, yet again. "Do you miss me?" he asked, his voice heavy.
You held back the urge to scream "Yes!" because admitting that out loud would be taking 3 steps backward.
Admitting that you missed him would be undoing all the work and tears you put into moving on from him and the hopes and dreams you had for a life with him.
Admitting that you missed him would mean giving in to the part of you that thought back to your most intimate moments with him when you touched yourself.
And admitting that you missed him would mean letting him back into the four-cornered box you had locked yourself in for the past 3 years.
But, with every step closer that he took, your resolve disappeared that much faster.
"You okay?" he called for your attention.
Your sharp intake of oxygen brought a tense silence over the room when you turned to face him and realized that he stood close enough for your lips to nearly brush his.
"Peter, I-" you tried to form words, but then you saw his lust-filled brown eyes lower to your lips.
And that was all it took for the last of your self-control to disappear.
"Damn it," you mumbled once you realized what was about to happen.
Before Peter could question your outburst, you found yourself latching onto his jacket lapels and pulling him down to meet your lips.
It took mere milliseconds for Peter to react. After all, he had been thinking about doing this since you swung open the door and looked up at him with those eyes of yours.
His large calloused hands took hold of the sides of your face as you clashed in a heap of teeth and tongue. It was desperate and feverish but it was perfect.
It was a language only you and Peter seemed to master, even now after three years apart.
Your lips moved swiftly against his, eager to taste more and more of him with each passing second. You felt him press his growing bulge flush against you, causing a pathetic whine to involuntarily tumble from your lips and a smirk to find its way onto his.
"I did miss you," you softly spoke, "but we can't do this Peter," the logical part of your brain made an appearance, though you kept peppering his lips with kisses.
As his lips moved to your neck, Peter's hands slid down to your ass where he effortlessly lifted your legs off the ground and up around his waist. The feeling of his hands against the bare skin of your thighs garnered yet another moan from you.
"You don't sound so sure angel," you felt him smirk against your heated skin.
You hadn’t heard that nickname in years yet it sent small chills down your spine for the second time that night.
A mumbled curse slipped your lips when he nipped a particular spot below your ear. That was definitely gonna leave a mark.
You soon gathered the strength to pull Peter's hungry lips away from your body, swinging your arms around his neck to hold yourself up.
"We can’t go back from this, you know that right?" you spoke, the both of you panting from the effects of the last minute.
"I don't wanna go back," Peter shook his head, "I wanna fuck you, right here, right now," his lips immediately found yours before his words could fully resonate.
This caught you by surprise which allowed Peter to slip his tongue between your lips.
As his taste continued to flood your senses, you felt yourself grow alarmingly wet.
Peter knew it too because he slowly pulled back and smirked down at you. "I could smell you from the moment I walked in here. Glad to see three years hasn't changed the way your body reacts to me, angel," he accompanied his words with a quick slap to your ass.
His slap and the familiar pet name left you a moaning mess. Just like he knew it would.
A lovely laugh left Peter's mouth before his lips met yours again.
He walked your entangled bodies over to the kitchen counter without breaking the sloppy kiss.
Peter used one hand to blindly clear the counter and place you on it, which sent your box of things flying toward the floor.
Not that either of you cared.
"Too much clothes," you were barely able to say in between kisses.
You followed up by shoving Peter's jacket off his shoulders which fell to your hardwood floors with a thud. He immediately got the message and got rid of his t-shirt as well.
A shameless whimper left your lips at the sight of his very toned muscles. You easily maneuvered Peter's body closer to you and began kissing and sucking his neck and every other available inch of skin just as you had pictured earlier, making sure to leave a few purple bruises in your wake.
“You’re killing me here baby,” Peter harshly swallowed, his eyes sliding closed as you continued to have your way with his chest.
"Wouldn't be a terrible way to die though, right?" you mumbled between lovebites and licks. You felt like an animal in heat but you just couldn't get enough of him, the occasional flex of his muscles with each slither of your tongue and his deep groans only egging you on more.
The taste of his skin alone could've made you cum easily.
But the same could be said for Peter as the feel of your tongue slithering all along his chest had him practically creaming his pants then and there.
Fucking enhanced senses, he cursed inwardly.
“Alright, ease up pretty girl,” he reluctantly grabbed your head, detaching your swollen lips from his body.
“Your turn,” he tugged at the hem of your top.
You quickly pulled off the oversized t-shirt you were wearing to reveal your bare top half to him.
He spared no time in cupping your breasts with his eager hands. "Fuck, I missed you so much," he mumbled.
"Me, or my boobs?" you jokingly raised a brow at him.
"Definitely both," he grinned, bringing his mouth down to your tits.
As his tongue made contact with the soft mounds, you loudly moaned and wrapped your fingers in his unruly tangle of hair.
He switched between nipping and sucking on your nipples, in the way he knew you liked, while his free hand pinched and squeezed the other.
"Just like that Peter fuck-" hearing his name fall from your lips drove Peter insane.
His tongue flicked your sensitive nipples harder, and his eager sucking pleased you to no end.
Peter eventually pried himself away from your supple breasts, remembering the other parts of you he wanted to worship, and brought his hands to rest on the sides of your head. Your lips connected once more in a delicate kiss.
Though you knew what lay ahead for the evening, you were both perfectly content with each other's lips at the moment, just enjoying the constant waves of pleasure from the intimate contact.
But it wasn't long before the kiss grew heated and you tried to take control. Peter, however, wasn't giving you a chance.
"I leave for three years and you think you're hot shit, huh," he smirked.
"Why don't you ask the guy I fucked on this counter last week," you retorted, knowingly riling him up.
"Don't say shit like that, it's not funny," he nearly growled as his grip on your ass grew more forceful.
You secured your grip on his hair before pressing a small kiss on the side of his lips. "Gimme a reason to shut up then," you challenged him.
“Trust me, I will,” Peter grabbed your hands from his hair and forced them to your sides. His movements were swift as he laid you flat on your counter and ripped your thong off your body.
There he is, you smiled to yourself. This is the Peter you wanted to fucking ruin you.
You felt his face ghost your drenched opening as he deeply inhaled your scent. "You smell fucking delicious baby," he praised you, his mouth actually watering at the thought of tasting you.
A genuine smile found its way onto your face but morphed into a gasp when Peter teasingly ran his tongue up your sensitive slit.
"You taste even better," he added, using his strong arms to bring your thighs closer to his head. He wanted to tease you but it was getting harder to resist the urge to dive right into your heat like a man starved.
"Holy shit," you all but screamed as he briefly nipped at your swollen clit before sucking on it to soothe the sting.
His grip on your thighs combined with the ministrations of his tongue was pure bliss.
You attempted to slip your hands in his hair once more, but found that they were suddenly held in place against your counter by two of his webs.
Your eyes briefly widened at the feel of the rough, sticky material against your wrists, not having felt it in a few years. Back then, you expressed to Peter your desire to engage in some bondage, but being the daughter of a super soldier, it was clear that no rope or wire would be able to hold you. Peter's webs became the next best choice.
"That's not fair," you pouted, though it melded into a moan as Peter continued to suck and lick between your glistening folds.
The sounds of Peter devouring you resounded through the small apartment.
"I'm close Pete," you whined, your chest heaving in arousal.
Peter decided to focus his tongue on your eager bundle of nerves while he slowly inserted two fingers into your pussy. He instantly curled the digits causing you to briefly squirm at the sudden pressure against your G-spot.
"More," you begged, and Peter delivered, adding another finger inside of you. He immediately sped up his motion inside of you, making sure his fingers gauged that spongy spot to drive you over the edge with each thrust inside of you.
“That feels so fucking good, Peter, oh my God," you loudly moaned at the feeling of his fingers inside of you, calling forth an orgasm with no warning.
You repeatedly bucked against Peter's face as you came, white-hot pleasure filling your veins. Peter locked onto your stare, still skillfully working his fingers in and out of you, loving the way you constantly clenched around his fingers.
"Jesus fucking Christ," your legs jerked when Peter dove in and drank every ounce of slick you had to give while still fucking you with his fingers.
With his face now damp of your juices, Peter looked up to meet your blissed-out eyes. "Gimme one more, angel," he placed a soft kiss on your thighs, "I know you can do it for me."
You would do anything to keep Peter's mouth between your legs.
So, you eagerly nodded in response before taking a deep breath in preparation for another onslaught.
You didn't have to wait long.
Peter’s tongue went to work on your glistening hole while his fingers fiddled with your overstimulated clit. And, within minutes, your thighs were trapping Peter's head as an even bigger orgasm rocked you again, the borderline pornographic sounds leaving your lips shooting straight to his hardened cock.
Peter seemed perfectly fine with staying between your legs all night, but you had other plans.
"Pete, I need you inside me," you begged, tears of pleasure leaking from your eyes.
He rose from beneath you and climbed up to free your hands from his webs. "I know, baby, I know," he softly replied, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips and using his hands to soothe your reddened wrists. Your own taste on his tongue flooded your senses which made you even more desperate.
Peter obliged, slipping out of his sweatpants and sliding his girth between your folds. He used one hand to hold himself up above you on the counter, and the other to slowly guide his dick into you.
You both shared a long moan as he buried himself to the hilt inside your pussy, your wetness making it way too easy.
He held still for a few seconds, waiting for you to adjust and give the all clear for him to move.
Eagerness guided your words. “Fuck me, please.”
Peter set a brutal pace, knowing you were more than capable of handling it. Satisfied cries left your chest as you dragged your nails along Peter’s back, hard enough to leave trails.
“You can take it, pretty girl, I know you can,” he groaned as he continued to pound into you, trying desperately not to blow his load with the way you were constantly clenching around him and marking his back.
You tried to reply, but all that you could form were sloppy moans and broken syllables.
“Oh look at you, drunk on my cock already?” he teased with a particularly hard slam that prodded your cervix, “I’m nowhere near done with you yet.”
Pleasure-filled cries mingled with words continued to fall from your lips as Peter gently moved a few fallen strands of hair behind your ear with a hand. "-feels so fucking perfect," you muttered, your lips curved into a drunken smile.
Peter reached down and pinched one of your nipples, gaining a loud whimper from you. “I love hearing you make those pretty sounds for me baby,” his strokes grew harder and deeper.
“All for you, Pete, all for you,” you panted as he fucked into you, the delicious smell and sound of sex lingering in the air.
Peter used a hand to wrap around your throat before using the other to reach down and fiddle with your aching clit.
The combination of Peter’s dick hitting that perfect spot, his fingers massaging your clit, and the lack of air from his hand around your neck was making you dizzy and overstimulated.
You fucking loved it.
“God, I missed you,” you spoke breathlessly.
He moved closer to kiss you briefly and tenderly. “I missed you too, baby.”
No amount of time could take away his knowledge on how to please you, how to get you like this with ease, not when you were all he thought about for years on end.
Peter pressed a quick kiss to your forehead then continued to fuck you on your kitchen counter.
"I'm gonna cum again baby, right fucking there," you moaned out.
Peter's grip on your neck grew tighter. "Not yet, don't you cum until I tell you to sweetheart," he commanded you, removing his fingers from your clit.
A frustrated groan rumbled in your chest as you forced yourself to sustain your orgasm.
"Don't pout," he smirked.
And before you could realize it, Peter had pulled out of you and effortlessly flipped you onto your stomach.
A hand soon gripped your hair, yanking you up against his chest and eliciting a pitiful whine from you.
"Tell me what you want,” Peter commanded, using his free hand to strike your ass. Hard.
You whimpered again at the sting of his slap. “I need you inside me. Please,” you pleaded.
He seized your hair harsher and leaned forward for his lips to graze against your ears. “Beg.”
A small whine left your lips at his words. You were so desperate you didn’t even care how embarrassing this would be in retrospect. “I need to cum, Peter. Please baby you're the only one who can make me cum.”
Peter pressed a kiss to your neck, nearly causing you to lose your footing. And he soon complied by ramming himself back into you.
“Oh my Fuck-“ you cried before biting your lip, suddenly aware that you had neighbors.
But Peter pulled his cock from your heat, with just the tip remaining, before roughly slamming into you, his hips slamming against your ass with the motion. “Come on, lemme hear you angel.”
He repeated the action, knocking the air out of your chest, “Peter!” your hands gripped the sides of your counter with such force you were sure you felt it crack under your grasp.
Peter caught wind of this and freed your hair before using his hands to pull your hands behind your back. "You're so perfect baby," he mumbled in your ear, continuing to brutally fuck you from behind, "So fucking beautiful with my cock inside you."
"I can't hold it anymore," you cried, "I need to cum, Peter, please."
With that whiny tone and those overstimulated tears to top it off, Peter couldn't deny you any longer. "Let it all out for me sweetheart. Cum for me," he littered your shoulders with kisses.
Your eyes slammed shut as your walls contracted around his cock, pleasure shooting through you and rocking you on a seemingly cellular level. Your mouth opened in a silent moan, unable to form a sound from the satisfied tremors attacking your nerves. The intensity of your finish is one only brought on when Peter fucked you and it was damn near cosmic.
"Shit," you groaned in relief, your long-awaited climax passing.
Peter slowed his movements inside of you and released your hands. "You did so good for me angel," he pushed your hair aside and kissed your neck, trying to stave off his own orgasm for a little while longer.
Aftershocks rocked your body while Peter continued sporadically moving inside of you, yet you couldn't get enough. Your body was more than ready to keep taking whatever he dished out.
Peter didn't need to read your mind to see that, but he needed to make sure. His lips kept up their onslaught on your neck as he softly spoke, "You wanna keep going?"
"Hell yes," you panted with a grin that he couldn't fully see, "You still haven't cum yet, and my bed is still fully made."
Happy with your response, Peter gave your ass a sharp smack. "That's my girl."
He pulled out of you and turned your body to face him, smiling at the sight of your fucked out face. "Three orgasms and a handful of tears later and you're still the most beautiful girl in the world," he held you by the sides of your face.
His words left you reeling, causing a slight blush to dust your cheeks and butterflies to swirl within your stomach.
Before you could form a response, Peter leaned down to kiss you. He soon hoisted up your legs around his waist, preparing to escort you to your bed as per your own demands.
As he looked around for the bed's location, you took advantage of his momentary distraction and latched your lips onto his neck, reapplying the bruises you left there that were slowly fading already.
Peter was the happiest man on earth as he walked over to your bed, his cock prodding your soaked entrance, and your lips ravaging his neck.
He carefully sat on the edge of your bed, with you now on his lap and your legs still around him. You expected him to ease his length back into you but he slowly brought your head down to meet his intense stare.
You carefully wrapped your hands around his shoulders to keep yourself up, the silence in the room growing deafening.
You could tell from his eyes that he desperately wanted to say something, and you wondered if it was the same thing you had been considering as well.
But you were both aware of what saying those words would mean for your broken relationship and simply settled for smiles instead.
Peter brought a hand up to lay your forehead against his, allowing your breathing to momentarily sync.
"You ready for me?" he questioned you with a hand at the nape of your neck to hold your head against his.
You immediately nodded in response causing his own head to shake in time with yours. A small laugh was shared between you both as your nose continued to brush his own.
"You're adorable," you said before you could stop yourself.
That stupid full-toothed grin that you hadn't seen in a while soon spread across his beautiful face at your words, gaining another laugh from you.
"Last round?” you eventually pleaded with a smile.
"Anything for you," Peter replied, meaning it in every way. Adoration littered his stare as he slowly lowered you onto his length.
A satisfied mewl slipped your lips at the familiar feel of him.
The slow drag of his cock in and out of you, while he rocked your hips back and forth to grind on him, had your bottom lip sucked between your teeth with eyes closed and head thrown back in pleasure.
But Peter wanted to see it all. He wrapped a hand around your neck and forced you to meet his dilated eyes. “Keep your eyes on me, baby.”
His soft yet stern tone caused you to swallow back a moan as you continued to move on his girth.
He then slapped your ass with his free hand, silently urging you to move faster.
You leaned down and quickly kissed his lips before happily obliging, now beginning to bounce in his lap, chasing your next climax.
“There you go angel, just like that,” Peter’s stare never wavered.
Peter furiously fucked up into you, your moans and the constant smack of skin on skin filling the apartment.
His other hand which never left your throat now squeezed it harder. “Fuck!” You were barely able to moan out as your breasts bounced with your every move.
“Shit, you’re gripping me like a vice,” Peter groaned, his crude pace never faltering though his orgasm was closer than ever.
Your bed creaked under the onslaught of your bodies, but neither of you payed it any attention only having one goal in mind.
“One more time,” Peter planted his feet on the ground to get a better angle, "Need you to cum on my cock one more time."
But from the broken pacing of his hips to the strong furrow of his brow, you could tell he was close too. “Together?” You breathlessly suggested, grasping the nape of his neck with your hands.
Peter nodded in agreement before engulfing your chest and back with his arms, pulling you closer to his body.
Your breaths mingled, eyes focused on nothing except each other as his grip on your upper body allowed him to help you ride him even faster.
"Yes, Pete, oh my God-" pleas, curses, and moans tumbled from your lips as your skin buzzed at your incoming release.
"There you go, cum for me," Peter's voice grew strangled as his hips stuttered below you.
"Fuck," you wailed, your finish hitting you like a freight train and your pussy leaking into Peter's length.
The intense clench of your walls around him was all it took for Peter to explode with a groan, his pace faltering with that final pump.
"Holy shit baby," he panted, his cum painting your walls in spurts.
His firm hold on your body brought you collapsing on your bed together, satisfied and smiling.
And, for what felt like hours, you lay there in his arms. But of course, your thoughts began to run rampant.
Peter could damn near hear your thoughts spiraling.
"I don't regret this," he suddenly broke the silence you had elapsed into, "Do you?"
"Peter I-...I don't know," you freed yourself from his hold and sat up to look at him.
His brows furrowed at your response, hurt briefly flashing across his features.
"I loved you," you spoke, "I loved you more than anything."
"I know. I loved you too," Peter nodded with a small smile.
"And I will never blame you for leaving. Ever," you slipped a hand in his own and squeezed briefly.
"But?"
Your eyes stung with tears threatening to fall. "What happened to us, it damn near destroyed me, Peter. And it took so so long to put myself back together."
Peter swallowed harshly at your words.
"And then here you come, waltzing in here, fucking my brains out and making me feel things," you lowered your head, looking away from him.
You heard Peter move closer to you before feeling him lift your chin to face him again. His expression wasn't as disappointed as you'd expected, just confused. "Spit it out. I know you're holding something back."
"Why'd you come back here and-and do all this? Reminding me of what we had when you know you're gonna be gone again in the next few weeks?" you felt your voice shrink to a broken whisper.
Peter used his thumb to wipe away a lone tear that fell from your eye, his previously puzzled look now morphing into a smirk. There was obviously something he wasn't telling you.
You sniffled and lightly hit Peter's shoulder. "Well, now it's your turn bug face, spit out whatever you're hiding!"
You received no answer other than Peter leaning forward and pressing a deep kiss against your lips. You eagerly accepted and returned the spontaneous action but were left even more confused when he pulled away.
"That wasn't an answer," you arched a brow at Peter.
"I'm not going anywhere," he smiled.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that I'm moving back to New York, or already moved, technically," he began to explain.
Your mouth opened and closed in shock as your brain fumbled for a response and came up inconclusive.
"I'm gonna finish out the school year online and stay here to take care of Aunt May. I mean it, baby, I'm not going anywhere," he grinned, watching tears of joy fall from your eyes.
"This better not be some sick fucking joke Peter, I swear to God," you pointed a finger at him accusingly.
"Can you shut up and just come here?"
You couldn't help but laugh as you obliged and grabbed Peter's neck before pulling him in for another kiss, your face still wet from tears and a smile almost permanently etched onto your face.
You pulled away but sank into his open arms. You relished how securely he held you. "I'm so happy," you said aloud, truly meaning it for the first time in a long time, though it was only meant to be an inner thought.
Peter kissed your forehead and looked down to meet your eyes, "I'll never stop making you happy, Y/N."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
1K notes · View notes
serverusslaype · 10 months ago
Text
Shameless, pt. 15
Severus Snape x professor!reader fic
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Shameless Masterpost
hey guys.................. dont kill me. i'm so sorry for the incredibly lengthy hiatus.... i had no motivation, each time i opened the file to type i'd type a couple words, maybe a paragraph and close it. i finally found the motivation to finish this chapter recently, i'm hoping it stays. it's been a rough couple months, so hoping this can help me feel a bit better!!
i felt really guilty for sort of abandoning the fic where it was, but i couldn't force myself to write anything, there was no creative juice, i think i sort of burnt myself out. and for the previous posts saying i was back, i thought i was, but i'd have the smallest spark of inspiration and try to write, but then nothing happened, and i felt bad so i didn't want to say something like, sorry, i lied. :(
hopefully this chapter is okay, i know most of you won't like it, but i'm so glad i finally finished it, it was one of the hardest to write because i had so many ideas on how it'd end and effect the whole story itself, so i had to make sure it made sense.
i can't believe you guys are still here after so long, it made me emotional to see all of your asks and comments and likes, i was just floored to be honest, so thank you so much for your unwavering support. i love you all so so much. honestly. holy shit. this has been a journey. <3 i hope you guys are all doing brilliantly.
warnings: lack of snape, swearing, mentions of adultery, slight domestic violence, verbal abuse at the end
You didn't know where to go. You felt... lost. You couldn't exactly go back to your quarters, not with Ben there, you didn't need more questions about why you were crying your eyes out at this time of night. It's not like you could tell him the truth.
So, you did what anyone would: go for a midnight walk. Well, at least that's what you thought anyone would do when they had nowhere to go. You'd hoped that the fresh, cold air would soothe your burning lungs, and the gentle breeze would dry your teary eyes. In an even deeper, darker part of your mind, you also hoped that Black would find you. Perhaps that would make everything... easier.
With tears still streaming freely from your eyes and heavy feet, you padded towards the large, magnificent doors that led to the outside with your arms wrapped around your body tightly; trying your best not to breakdown until you were alone. Your hands were still shaking as you pushed them against the doors, opening it a tad as the cool wind blew through the crack and into your face. You gasped a little at the sharp breeze, but nonetheless you slipped out, and made your way into the courtyard. The temperature was a little more biting than you had anticipated, and so you squeezed your arms around yourself a little tighter, walking towards the infamous wooden, crooked bridge.
As you sauntered through the courtyard, the only noises you heard were the owls hooting in the distance, the gentle breeze brushing through the burnt-amber leaved trees and the faint clack of your heels against the cobblestoned ground. In all honesty, it did feel a little eerie to the say the least, but at this very moment that was the least of your worries. All you wanted was a little time alone to cry, or grieve what could have been with ...Severus.
Gods, it hurt to even think his name, let alone speak it.
You reached the wooden bridge, and you stopped in the middle of it; leaning against the intricately carved columns to gaze out at the highlands. The moonlight casted a gorgeous glaze-like reflection upon the Black Lake, and it twinkled beautifully, almost hypnotising you like an illusion. Your eyes flicked up to the moon and glanced around it, staring at the glittering stars surrounding it like a perfect painting. Only times like this did you miss teaching Astronomy. As your mind reeled back to your first year teaching at Hogwarts, you relished in the time where you did not know the man named Severus Snape, and suddenly your heart sank in your chest like an anchor dropped at sea. You were so naive back then, unknowing of what was to come.
As the memories of you and Severus flooded your mind like a dam breaking, you let yourself cry. You could still feel his lips on yours, his fingertips gently tracing the curves and grooves of your skin, the words he'd whispered into your ear - it was all there, stained on your skin, like a tattoo - or perhaps a branding. And now you had to live with it. You weren't sure if you'd survive this time, especially not with how deeply you felt for him. You were torn between pretending he didn't exist and trying to talk to him, perhaps even telling him how you felt, but truth be told you were petrified of how he'd react. Would he even look at you again with those glittering black eyes you'd come to adore so hopelessly? Would he dare speak to you again, knowing that he'd charmed you? Maybe he'd relish in the fact that he'd done so, take pride in bewitching you, and make you hurt for it. You knew Snape could be rather cruel, your school days here with him as your teacher was enough for you to know that.
All these unanswered questions swam through your head and you felt yourself becoming suffocated from them, and it suddenly felt as if your lungs had filled with water, drowning you. You sobbed helplessly as you slid down the wooden wall behind you with your hands against your face, the rough edges scratching your back through your clothes rather uncomfortably.
"Y/N?" A voice came from beside you, and you froze. You turned your head away from them and quickly used your sleeve to wipe your eyes, drying the tears that had fallen from them. Only one person has a voice as soft as the one you had just heard.
You gave yourself a moment to gather yourself before even attempting to use your voice.
"Hello, Remus." You croaked quietly, sniffling.
"What on Earth are you doing out here so late?" He questioned gently, and you heard him take a step towards you. "Are you alright?"
"Quite dandy," you sarcastically quipped, sighing deeply, "I'm brilliant..." You turned your head to face him, and immediately, his face softened at the sight of your own. You were sat up against the side of the bridge, knees up against your chest and your arms wrapped around them; nose and eyes red, wet with tears. Remus quickly dropped down to his knees beside you, placing a soothing hand upon your forearm.
"What happened?" Remus asked, careful to keep his voice quiet and soft. With empty eyes, you stared into his worried ones, and instantly you felt terrible. The last thing you wanted was people worrying over you.
You looked away, down at the ground. "I..." you mumbled, sighing, "it's a... long... story." You spoke slowly. From the corner of your eye, you saw a small smile quirk up on Remus's lips.
"I've got time, my dear." He replied as his thumb brushed your forearm, silently encouraging you to talk. You felt at ease in Remus's presence, it was almost like he had a calm aura around him, and naturally your body relaxed beside his. You took a deep breath.
"Erm," you choked, sniffling again, "it's Se... Snape." You couldn't bring yourself to say his first name without crumbling into a million pieces.
Remus let out a gentle breath. "Snape, of course," He tutted, glancing between you and the ground. "What's he done?" The fact that Remus reacted like he had expected Snape to have hurt you, further broke your heart. Were you the only one to have seen through his icy exterior?
"Broken my heart," You laughed dryly, and you had to fight back another bout of tears. Remus's brows furrowed in confusion at you. "We... I... Look, I'm not sure how to explain this to you. But... I fell..." You trailed off, unable to finish your sentence. Your heart hurt too much. You only hoped that Remus knew what you were about to say.
Remus blinked and stared at you, shocked. Clearly, the two of you had hidden your 'relationship' well - so well that everyone was oblivious to it. "You fell...?" He frowned.
"In love... with him..." You almost whispered, avoiding Remus's eyes. You weren't sure if you'd be able to handle the look in them.
"You're in love with... Severus?" Remus repeated, and you squeezed your eyes shut at his words. They were like daggers, stabbing your bleeding heart. It was almost like you could feel it trembling inside of your chest, begging you to free it from this cycle of torment. "But... Aren't you with... Ben? And... Severus... he's..."
"I know," you sighed, noticing his confusion, "I had feelings for Severus before I met Ben. And it sort of just, like, spiralled out of control, and now, erm, here I am- Gods, I should have just listened to Minerva, I wouldn't be here right now, hurting like this." You ranted, another strangled sob leaving your throat. Remus watched you, and his eyes softened. He felt terrible for you. "She warned me, Remus, why didn't I just listen to her?!" You cried, letting your head fall into your hands.
"Y/N," Remus whispered, reaching out a cautious hand to pry your face from your hands. With a soft gasp, you looked up with teary eyes, and he wiped a stray tear from your cheek. "We don't get to choose who we do and don't fall in love with. We follow our hearts blindly, most of the time, unknowingly." He said, and moved his hand from your wet cheek to your shoulder, rubbing it soothingly. "It's beyond our control who we love."
There was a moment of silence.
"...What do I do, Remus?" You sobbed softly, sniffling, looking at your knees.
"Have you told him?"
"No."
"I think you should."
"But what about Ben? Shouldn't I... deal with... that first?" You sniffled again. "And what if Severus doesn't feel the same way about me? Then what?"
Remus paused for a moment, thinking. You looked up at him. "What if he does?" He said, a small, comforting smile tickling his lips as he stared at you.
"Well- from the way he treated me earlier... I truly doubt it, Remus." You scoffed, glancing away from his pitying brown eyes.
Remus sighed, and you clenched your jaw. "Regret is a terrible thing, Y/N," he said, "it's such a short word, yet it stretches on forever." Your eyes were glued on the ground and your body was still, but your mind was running a million miles an hour.
You sat there in silence for a short moment, thinking deeply. Remus was right. You'd regret it for the rest of your life if you didn't tell Severus how you felt. That chance of him reciprocating your feelings was small, but it was still there. If he didn't feel the same, fine, you'd move on. Eventually. And if he did?...
"...Alright," You nodded sheepishly. "I'll tell him. I just... need to, erm, work out when and more specifically, how. Like, do I just straight up blurt it out? Work my way up to it? H-how do you know it's the right time?" You rambled with tears still falling from your eyes, glancing through them at Remus who sat beside you with a soft expression upon his features.
"You'll know." Was all he said before slowly standing and holding out a hand for you to take. Graciously, you took it, and Remus pulled you to your feet. "Feel better?" He hummed, casting a glance out at the moon, then a worried look suddenly struck his eyes. You noticed and frowned slightly at his behaviour.
The moon?
"A little." You forced a smile upon your lips, and lifted up a hand to wipe the remaining stray tears upon your red cheeks. Remus looked back at you, and returned your smile. "How come you were out so late?" You asked curiously, brushing off his odd reaction to seeing a moon.
"A walk in the night does me good," Remus shrugged, and began to walk back towards the castle with you beside him. "Clears my head."
"Ah, well, I suppose I'm glad you found me, then." You chuckled awkwardly, folding your arms against your chest.
Remus smiled at you and placed an arm around your shoulders, giving you a squeeze. "Let's get you back to your quarters, Y/N, you look like an ice block." He hummed and lead you back to the castle, but not before throwing another glance over his shoulder to the almost-full-moon.
Faint, footsteps trailed down an empty corridor, and a billowing black cape followed with it. As Severus marched, his chest felt horribly heavy, almost like there was a boulder chained to it, weighing him down. He couldn't figure out why he felt like this, and it was starting to make him a little irate. He knew it was something to do with you since it had started after you'd stormed out of his office.
As Severus was about to round a corner, the sound of familiar, sweet laughter rattled through his bones, and immediately he froze. Without a doubt, he knew it was you. Only you could have laughter that sounded like the sweet songs that birds chirped in the summer mornings. The breath in his lungs suddenly vanished and he quickly swooped himself behind a bookcase, poking his head out from the side of it to see who you were with.
The moment you appeared, that boulder chained to his chest became heavier, and he felt himself lean against the bookcase he hid behind. Severus's eyes widened as they glued themselves to the man beside you - Remus Lupin. His blood boiled at the sight.
What could have Lupin have said to make you laugh like that? He'd only heard you laugh like that when you were with him, not Lupin.
From a distance, he couldn't make out what the two of you were talking about, but it was obviously hilarious. Severus's jaw clenched as he watched Lupin place a hand upon the small of your back, guiding you.
Guiding you... inside your quarters?
Snape hissed silently to himself as he stared, his sharp and hardened eyes welded to the back of Lupin's head like molten metal. As your door shut, Snape could only huff in disgust with bared teeth. What were the two of you doing in there? It was past midnight and you and Lupin seemed happy as Larry to go into your quarters. Snape couldn't bear the idea of you and Lupin alone together - let alone the fact that Lupin had had his damned, grubby paws on you. Severus clenched his jaw in a violent fashion, very clearly upset at how you'd moved on so quickly, especially with another professor at Hogwarts. Was this your thing? Bewitch every lonely professor that you laid your wretched eyes upon and then move onto the next? Did it make you feel better about yourself in some fucked up way?
An uneasy, bitter feeling twisted inside of his chest as he pictured the two of you alone and he whipped around out of spite; the swoosh of his long, black cloak filling the silent hallway. How could you move on so quickly, so... easily? 
"Never did I think I'd see the day that someone told me they fell in love with a man like Severus Snape." Remus laughed softly as he waddled to your sofa, glancing at you as if to ask if it was alright to sit. You nodded at him.
"And yet here we are." You hummed with a flat mouth, clearly not as amused as your friend was. "Sometimes I wish I was as emotionally guarded as he was, but then I remember how bloody miserable that would be." You mumbled, earning an abrupt laugh from Lupin who'd settled on the couch with a soft sigh.
Ben was nowhere to be seen, so you assumed he was asleep in the bedroom.
"Severus is an interesting character, most definitely," Lupin nodded and you turned around, walking towards him to join him on the sofa. "And I applaud you for being able to tame him. If it's any consolation, only one other woman had been able to, though I think it was... unintentional, if you will."
"Unintentional?" You questioned, your tone curious. Though almost instantly, that curiosity was killed as the thought of Severus with another woman stabbed at your fragile heart. "Actually, I'm not sure if I want to hear this right now." A dry laugh slipped from your lips and you exhaled sharply as another wave of tears prickled at your waterline.
"Alright." Lupin said softly, taking notice of your quivering voice. He stood up with a breathy groan and shuffled towards you, slinking an arm around your shoulders to pull you into his chest. It was calming, and the way he hugged you reminded you of all the times your parents would comfort you as a child. As Lupin gave you a supportive squeeze, it was as if he'd accidently pushed the button for the waterworks - hot tears began to stream down your cheeks once again, and you sobbed quietly into his wrinkled shirt.
"Hey," Lupin sighed as he watched your shoulders shake with sorrow. His hand sat on the top of your arm, squeezing it gently: a dire attempt at consoling you. "Don't cry, Y/N, it'll pass."
"Idon'twantitto-" You mumbled into his shirt, sniffling loudly. Lupin's brows furrowed together in confusion as he paused for a brief moment, silently trying to decipher what you'd just said.
"What?" He asked gently, leaning his head down so he could hear you a little better. You lifted your head from him, sighing, another heartbreaking sniffle sneaking out of your reddened nose.
"I don't want it to." You repeated yourself, lifting a hand up to wipe your wet eyes lazily.
"I know. But it will." Lupin sighed too. "Severus is... a very... damaged man," He cringed slightly at his choice of words, but he continued, "I'm not even sure that you could help him- or fix him."
At this point, you were staring soullessly at the floor, and the only thing you could feel was Lupin's chest against your shoulders. Were you and Severus really a lost case? You felt like you'd made so much progress, he'd opened up to you, he'd... he also ran away again. Perhaps your friend Remus is right.
"I think I want to be alone." You suddenly blurted out, slowly glancing up at the professor with glossy, red eyes. Lupin blinked at you, confused for a moment, though he quickly came to. He didn't blame you for saying such a thing - you'd just had your heart ripped out, to put it simply.
Remus didn't say anything, he only nodded, offering you a kind, yet pitiful smile - and that hurt you slightly. You didn't want his pity, in fact, you didn't want anyone's pity. "If you need anything, you know where to find me." He muttered, brushing a hand through your hair softly. You shut your eyes for a moment and sighed, a small gush of guilt filling your body. Here Lupin was, trying to console you, and you're kicking him out. You hoped he didn't take it personally.
"I'm sorry, I... I just need to be alone." You quickly offered. Remus shook his head and frowned at you.
"No, I understand. See you in the morning, Y/N. Feel better soon." The professor smiled at you and this time it wasn't rich with pity, but kindness. He tipped his head at you and began to shuffle his way towards the door, opening it with a quiet creak from the oak. Before he disappeared out of your chambers, Remus turned around and smiled at you once more, slipping away.
Seconds after the door shut, a drowsy-looking Ben opened your bedroom door, popping his head out. He squinted at the bright light, clearly having just woken up. That settled your nerves slightly, since you'd just spoken about Severus with Remus, only a few metres away from Ben.
"Are you crying?" Ben yawned, his bushy brows furrowed in either confusion or annoyance - at this point you couldn't tell.
"No," You coughed and turned around to pretend to do something else as you wiped at your eyes. "I'm fine, go back to bed, Ben." A curt sigh fell from your lips, and almost immediately you heard footsteps padding closer to you. "I'm fine." You repeated, listening as his feet stopped behind you.
"What happened?" Ben asked, the tiniest hint of sympathy in his voice made you shiver slightly.
"Nothing, it was just a rough day at work, honestly. I'd rather not talk about it." Your brows shot together as you tried to keep the tears at bay, but you couldn't help but think about Severus as Ben placed a hand on your waist in an attempt to pry you away from the countertop and towards him. You didn't want anyone else's hands on you but his.
"Hey," Ben said softly, though it felt heavy in your chest. "It's work. It won't matter in a day or two." You were silent. "Y/N?"
"I need a drink." You muttered and forced yourself to look at Ben, cringing slightly as you walked past him and towards a glossy wooden cabinet in the corner of your chambers. You rarely drank, and if you did, it was to either celebrate something, or forget something.
Another uncomfortable silence fell on top of the pair of you.
"Want one?" You asked with no emotion in your voice.
Ben hesitated for a moment, his groggy eyes staring at the back of your figure, silently trying to deduce you. "...Sure."
You were going to regret this.
You'd changed into comfier clothes, more specifically a pair of forest green silk shorts and a matching camisole top. Sitting on the edge of your bed, you faced Ben as he was sat on the windowsill opposite you, nursing his glass of wine. After a few strong sips, the pair of you were chatting and reminiscing like old pals. "Remember that time when I turned Peter Kipling into a weasel in McGonagall's class?" Ben giggled drunkenly, elbowing you gently as you nodded with tears in your eyes, an amused grin spread across your face.
"Oh my- I forgot about that!" You wheezed, smacking your lips together. "Didn't you get... like... at least- like a month's detention for that?" You laughed, slurring, taking another sip of your glass of Elven wine. You winced slightly at the strong aftertaste as it burned your throat. That was to be your last drink, you couldn't take much more.
"Ohh, yeah, I d-id," Ben hiccuped, his laughter dying out as he sighed; his tired eyes falling onto you. Shuffling under his gaze, you felt slightly uncomfortable. A brief yet thick silence suddenly engulfed the two of you like a slow-burning fire. Ben stood from where he'd been sat, stumbling over to where you were, stopping just in front of your knees.
"I miss talkin' to you, Y/N." He sighed, taking his hand and placing it upon your cheek; carressing the apple of it with his rough thumb. The strong scent of alcohol on his breath made you gag a tad - you were drunk as well, but the smell of it wasn't pleasant, especially from his mouth.
Your breath hitched slightly at the sudden contact.
"..Yeah." You answered quietly albeit awkwardly as you stared up at Ben. Though, all the wine you'd consumed was making him look like someone... else - the darkness wasn't helping either, in fact it was fueling your hallucinations. The dark cast of a shadow from the lit candles behind him made his nose appear larger, and his cheekbones a little more pronounced.
Slowly, he crouched down until you two were eye-level, his hands slipping to your ankles. Your body stiffened slightly at the feeling. "Ben.." You warned, sighing as the drunk buzz and pleasurable tingle from the pads of his fingers was starting to cloud your mind.
"Whaat?" He whispered, heavy-lidded eyes still glued to yours as his fingers began to trail up your calves. Ben began to stand up slightly, pushing his face dangerously close to yours, and so you leant backwards to avoid him, your back gradually making contact with the bed. He shuffled forwards slightly, pressing a knee against the edge of the bed to balance himself.
You shouldn't be doing this, you knew that, but Gods, the alcohol was truly fucking with your morals and mind.
Would it hurt?
Just a little... taste...?
You shut your eyes as you became lost in the feeling; his fingers reaching the backs of your soft thighs, a breathy sigh falling from your lips. Slowly, you opened your eyes again as Ben's smalelr nose pressed into your neck, followed by his wet lips. You gasped as his hands found your torso, his fingers pressing a little too harshly into your flesh. 
Severus.
Memories of him suddenly flooded your mind like a reservoir breaking a dam, flushing out anything that didn't embody him. All the times Severus had attacked your supple flesh beautifully; pulling gorgeous moans from those pink lips of yours. Your brows furrowed together as your body silently yearned for his touch. It hurt.
You were stuck between stopping this and just shamelessly indulging in the dark, twisted fantasy of pretending that Ben was Severus. You were being so selfish. And yet, you didn't care, all of the emotional turmoil that you'd been through tonight was pushing you to the edge - all you wanted was the man who didn't love you, who only saw you as a quick fuck, maybe some midnight company. 
You shut your eyes again and tried your best to imagine him. With a sigh, you ran your hand up Ben's neck and into his hair, though it wasn't the same. You missed the way you'd tangle your fingers in his raven-black locks, gripping on it as he'd ravish your neck and breasts like some mad professional. Sighing frustratedly, you moved your hands down to his shoulders, expecting the rough, black fabric of Severus's robes, and yet you were met with the flimsy, thin fabric of Ben's white cotton t-shirt.
You felt so fucking pathetic.
Knock, knock.
You froze, eyes snapping open as quick as lightning. Was there someone at the door?
"Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" Ben groaned drunkenly as he continued to kiss your neck. Unfortunately for him, the feeling had worn off the second you heard those knocks.
"The knocks at the door."
"You're.. imag-ining things, baby." Ben sighed and hiccuped once more, his uncomfortably hot breath on your neck made you shiver. At this point, Ben was much more drunk than you, and so with your remaining energy, you rolled him off of you. "Whoa- heey-!" He groaned as you slipped from underneath him, padding to the door. You didn't bother to check if he was alright, the only thing on your mind was who was at your door at this time of night.
Was it him? Did you want it to be him?
Reluctantly, you reached out your hand to open the door.
Nobody was there.
You frowned and leaned forwards, poking your head out to glance around. The corridor was empty, completely empty. That was incredibly weird, did you imagine those knocks? You sighed softly - perhaps you were a little disapppointed. Turning around, you shut the door, only to be faced with Ben sat sloppily in a chair with a face like thunder.
"Waitin' for someone?" He asked with a flat tone, his head lazily cocked to one side, still clearly drunk.
"What?"
"You know what I'm talkin' abou', Y/N." Ben said with the same tone, standing up, albeit unsteadily. You swallowed as he inched closer towards you, dragging his feet, your toes burying themselves against the hard wooden floor beneath your feet. "I know about the notes you kept. From him." He spat, pointing his finger at your face. Your heart instantly began to gallop; the pounding of its beats echoed in your ears like a harrowing scream in the night.
The notes...
"Excuse me?" You choked out, brows furrowing together in complete shock.
This was not how you wanted this to go down.
"I went through yer little drawers. In yer greenhouse," Ben scowled, his nose turning upwards in what you could only describe as disgust. "All of his little notes were perfectly preserved, and mine? Well-" Your mind was running so quickly that you could barely even listen to what he was saying - the fact that he went behind your back and invaded your privacy was the only thing sticking out to you as of right now. Your skin felt like it was on fire as the anger began to flood your veins.
"You went through my drawers, Ben?!" You yelled, shoving a finger in his face.
"That's the only thing you care abou'?! Not the fact that you secretly- obviously, have some sort of fucked up... thing for a man who treats people like they're the tiniest bit of shit on 'is shoe?!" Ben screamed back drunkenly as he bared his teeth, stomping towards you and smacking your finger away. "The fuck is wrong withya?"
You knew this could get ugly quite quickly, especially as Ben was drunk - a lot drunker than you. But at this moment, your anger was far too hot to even think about cooling things down.
You scoffed at him, your lips twitching upwards into a disgusted sneer. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Going through my stuff?!" You shouted at him, taking a step backwards as he began to get a little too close for comfort. "That's not okay, Ben!"
"How long has it been going on?" Ben asked, his tone suddenly calm. That put you on edge.
You paused for a moment, pondering on his question. It was probably best that you didn't answer that. "We're done here, Ben." You clenched your jaw, silently readying yourself for some sort of explosion.
"How long, Y/N?!" Ben yelled. The way the whites of his eyes were basically screaming at you made you feel terrified. In this current moment, there was only one pair of arms that you wish you were being held in. The man in front of you backed you up to the door, and you could only stare at him, for your wand was foolishly placed inside the pockets of your robes hung in your bedroom. Tears burned in your eyes as the guilt you'd tucked away was finally waking up and holding your body hostage with it's incredibly heavy weight. "Did you fuck 'im? Is that why ya never slept wit'me for months? Because you were too ...busy being his fucktoy?" Ben slurred, his face red and lips wet with saliva from how he'd been shouting.
"Shut up!" You cried at Ben as the tears began to break free from you and run down your cheeks like melting diamonds. This was so not the way you wanted this to go. "Please, just stop!" You were sobbing at this point as his words pierced your heart, quickly reminding you of what Severus truly thought of you.
"Oh, fuck sake, stop with the cryin'," Ben growled, drunkenly shoving a hand into your shoulder, sending you barreling backwards and into the door. You winced slightly as the bone of your shoulder blade made contact with the metal bar on your door. "Whiny bitch, yer the one in the wrong, not me!" He grumbled with a heavy sigh, turning away from you.
"Shit, Ben-" You gasped as you leaned forwards and pushed yourself off of the door, however, a sharp and excruciating pain shot across your shoulder as you tried to move it. "What the hell were you thinking?!" You whined, stumbling to the countertops of your kitchenette to lean on it. Your shoulder was fucking killing you.
"Me? What was I fuckin' thinkin'?!" A sarcastic, manic laugh fell from his lips and immediately you regretted your choice of words. The man spun on his heel, and suddenly he donned a wand in his hand. Now, you were scared for your life. "You're one to talk... you know what... I'm going to have you fired... yeah... blacklisted. From every job in this fuckin' area! That'll teach you to be a whore!" Ben screamed the last word so loudly that you were sure every sleeping student and teacher heard it. Your jaw ticked, and you had to look away, your face painted an embarrassed shade of scarlet.
Your heart dropped at his words. No way was this happening.
"You can't do that." You whispered, tears still streaming from your eyes as you stared at the ground.
"I work at the Ministry, darlin', anything is possible."
"Fuck you."
"What did you just say t'me?"
"Fuck you!" You cried out hoarsely with one hand on your shoulder and the other gripping the countertop. An animalistic like growl fell from your ex-boyfriend as he stormed towards you, fury burning bright in his eyes. He raised his wand, and you squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for some sort of spell to hit you.
"Stupefy!" A familiar voice commanded, the swish of a spell following it suit. Then, a loud thud.
Reluctantly, you opened your eyes to see Ben laying on the floor, unconscious in a pool of his own saliva. Your chest heaved with fear, and you were incredibly scared to look up to see who had come to your rescue. Frozen, you stood still in your place, though you could feel your knees beginning to buckle. Within seconds you were on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, your lungs on fire from how harshly you were breathing. Merlin, you could've just died.
uh oh.. who saved her?
i'm sorry if you weren't tagged, i went through the majority of my notes and tried to find you all!! pls forgive me :( there was a lot due to my absence <3
taglist:
@a-laufeyson
@emilynissangtr
@livillain00
@meowskii
@nooneeveryonenoone
@vesperbatty
@biggest-simp-eversposts
@881127fara
@freshmoneyalmondathlete
@sonoluvr22
@v3lv3tvampir3
@lashipperrubia
@camilla-black
@acakius
@hiddlestonspassionsackx
@tellatubbies
@mikariell95
@sunshinemink
@m0rtifiedg0th
@spookymicrowave
@sayonara30
@novas-dreamworld
@ms-snape
@captainrogers-19
@once-upon-an-imagine
@cj-ghostemoji-destielpie
@renirat
@0chemicalwaste0
@6kaja9
@guardiandear
@gloriousrebelrunaway
@ameliachastain
@setsuna-meiou31
@kateris-world
@unatempesta-dipensieri
@jspidey5
@lyrixsnape
@bbykens
@johnmurphys-sass
@rockymiles
@joshysloshy
@luckylightcosplay
@melmel-fandom
@whosiris
@yu-87
@chalkoutljnes-blog
@ameliachastain
@eatmyshortsz666
@alexisabirdie
@snifellus
@roxy366
@stainedglasscrystals
@sojantrouxao
@mariaeatsworms
@cheri-cheri-cherry
@lizziebitch33
@dreamybxnny
@h0n3y-l3m0n05
@daydreamer-and-booklover
@daemonwhitedove
@yoongjennie88
@aureum-lepus
@lolwey
@alanalanalanalanalanna
@dystopiaincognito
@rye-flower
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challenger-fan-club · 6 months ago
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Patrick makes Art jealous that he gets to fuck you. ((inspired by @poppy-metal ))
It's smut, it's always Patrick Zweig smut. ((I couldn't stop myself and now Art also touches himself thinking about it.))
"She loves it, I'm telling you, she can't stop begging for me." He smirks at Art, watching him taking a sip of beer. Art is looking at you and he rolls his eyes. He watches you talking to other people at the party. It's not believable. It's not the most reliable source in fairness, Patrick is always exaggerating these kind of stories and Art never believes his bullshit. He watches you take a sip of your drink before watching you straighten your dress. He noticed the skirt of your dress rising up slightly but tried not to linger on it for too long. He snapped his eyes back to Patrick. "Cmon Pat, I don't want to know." He shrugged his shoulders and took another sip. Patrick couldn't help but smirk. "I know you do. I'm telling you, the sex is so fucking good, I'll let her fuck me with a racket." Art laughs a little and rolled his eyes at him. He watched you. For Art, you looked angelic, sweet, innocent. Patrick looks at you differently. He looks at you like he's ready to devour you. And you knew he could.
You looked at Patrick and bit your lip a little. Knowing what he can do, knowing what you do together. Art hit Patrick. "Cmon, she's not like that, look at her, shes sweet." Patrick screwed up his face. "oh no she's not. She's such a little whore, it's not just the quiet ones." He smiled thinking about you. Art scoffs at Patricks words. "You're so full of shit." Art hit his stomach again. "You need me to prove it Art?" He was pulling out his phone out his pocket. Art took another few sips of his drink and takes a seat and Patrick sits a little bit closer to him.
Art heard moans coming from Patricks phone as he offers it to him. a host of "fuck, oh god, Patrick, please, harder." Arts eyes are fixated on the phone. He sees you on your back, fully naked, your tits bouncing up and down. Art then sees that Patrick is inside you, he stops himself from actually moaning at the sight. He can't believe that Patricks showing this. He sees Patrick smack your face, moan and beg for more. He hears Patrick say "Calm down, I'll let you cum when I'm ready." The volume is low but he can hear all of the moans, all of the begging. Patrick telling you to take it and tell him how good he feels. Art feels like he has been staring at the screen for hours. They're in public, he shouldn't be seeing this. He knows that this isn't what he should be looking at, he definitely knows that he listening to. He feels sick watching this but he doesn't look away. The screen is pulled away from him, his mouth still slightly open. "Told ya." Patrick smiles watching Arts face all flush. He knows it got Art all worked up. He can't wait to tell you. Art can't speak. He can't even look at Patrick right now, knowing how hard he is after seeing the sight of the two of you. Patrick notices his shift, trying to readjust. "Need another drink?" He smiled as Art shook his head. Patrick walked away and put an Art around you, asking if you need another drink. Art quietly panting trying to calm himself down as quickly as he can. Art watched as Patrick kissed you, running his hands over your back and grabbing your ass a little, making your dress rise again. Art stops himself again for moaning and tries to keep himself from getting worked up again.
Patrick gets a drink and returns to you. "You good man?" He hits Arts arms a little. "yeaah, yeah, it's just getting late." Art is already making excuses. He needs to go home. Patrick knows Art too well, he knows hes still thinking about the video, he knows he wants to go touch himself watching the video. Patrick toys with the idea of sending it to him, to really torture him but he knows you wouldn't really want that. It makes it so much hotter for Patrick knowing how much Art wants you, that he gets to win over and over again. "yeah, well thanks for coming." He smiles and holds back his smirk. Patrick cannot wait to tell you everything, as soon as he gets into the bedroom.
Art leaves as quickly as he can, swipes his card to his hotel and lays on the bed. He lays back and he sighs on the bed. He was finally alone. He unzipped himself and slipped his hand in his underwear. He groaned as he finally relieved the ache since he saw the video. With each slow stroke, it released the painful ache as the images of the video flashed in his mind. He relived every single moan and swear that left you and Patricks mouth. He was so worked up, he wimpered and pleasure filled him. He wished he was there in that moment, he wished he was sharing you, or sharing him or even just being in the room, watching the two of you, would be enough for Art, he just needed it. His body was shaking now as he crawled towards an orgasm. He had to bite his lip to stop him groaning. He pulled his t-shirt up as he edged towards a climax. His mind flashed back to when he heard Patrick say 'I'll let you cum when I'm ready' and he groaned. It was too much for himself as he spilled all over his own stomach. He was panting and grunting as the frustration left his body. He's more desperate for you now more than ever.
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cormorant-red · 1 year ago
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I played 999 recently at @xivu-arath's recommendation, and I had so much fun that (inspired by that one polygon video) I illustrated my liveblog about it!
If you haven't played 999 and you are even a little bit intrigued by a puzzle/mystery visual novel with multiple timelines that all guide you towards wild plot twists...probably don't read the text! 999 is the kind of story that is best experienced with no knowledge besides the basic premise.
Transcript below the cut:
Cormorant: characters in this game really just say shit like "have you heard the story about the crystallization of glycerin?"
as a matter of fact i haven't, june, please enlighten me
Storm: "I know we're stuck in a freezer but. let's talk about weird mythical science!"
Cormorant: it's also killing me that junpei is dressed like marty mcfly and isn't sharing any of his jackets
-----
Cormorant: this game is leading me to arrive at mathematical concepts on my own. what the heck
Storm: kshgushhsg
I take it you're having a good time then
Cormorant: trying to check lotus's work and it turns out that no matter what group i arrange to take through a door, the people left behind will always have the same digital root
so to get through door 7 with snake missing, i could either send a group with sum 16 (junpei, ace, clover, and june) or with sum 25 (clover, june, seven, and lotus), but it doesn't matter because the remainder always have root 9 and can't get through doors 3 or 8! wild!
Storm: yeah the numbers and which doors end up barred to you is so cleverly deliberate
-----
Cormorant: i'm glad i finally checked what novel mode meant, because this is way more fun
Santa cocked his head to one side, like an inquisitive bird, and looked at them.
After several long moments, during which it became apparent that Santa had no idea what the cards meant, June took pity on him.
i'll have to go back and redo the beginning after i get to the first ending
Storm: oh yeah! as I recall that was done differently when it was originally a dual screen game... but it's much better when in novel style. gimme all the descriptions
-----
Cormorant: I had a long day of sitting though presentations and so I entertained myself by calculating digital roots
I discovered that adding 9 or any multiple of 9 to a number has no effect on the digital root, which is awfully interesting bc I got to the part where snake gets killed. Assuming door 3 was opened with 12 and not 21, the options are 7+3 (motive?), 6+4 (they’d both have to be REALLY good actors), or 9+1. And if bracelets work without a body attached, and if ace picked it up in door 5…
That would be a really useful tool to get around the 3-person minimum without altering the digital root
I’m also very intrigued by the theory that zero is also in the game but I don’t know what to do with that yet
Storm: forlornly having to keep myself from saying literally anything
Cormorant: Understandable, please don’t give me any hints! I’m just calling shots for the joy of being wrong
-----
Cormorant: and how do you know that, my traitorous friend?
Santa: “The RED doesn’t need a person, you know.”
Santa: “All I need is the bracelet.”
-----
Cormorant: y’know what i think he’s bluffing. he does need June specifically and that’s why he refused to consider leaving her when they first found door 9. if all he needed was a hostage, he could have grabbed junpei and forced ace to come along, and then he would be dealing with two people under duress instead of three
i peeked at a guide and apparently i found the ending adjacent to the true ending(?) first, oh well. time to see the others!
santa: i said i don't want to leave seven alone
me: bud you can't do a heroic sacrifice too, it'll mess up all the math
reader, he was not doing a heroic sacrifice
-----
Storm: got any character opinions or theories to share so far?
Cormorant: hmm I’ve got soft spots for santa and lotus maybe just because they were in the first group I went with. I like that the game makes a point of showing that lotus is quick with the math/technical knowledge. I warmed up to clover and seven more than I expected to! I have no evidence to mistrust ace….but I don’t trust him
Snake died before I before I could say two words to him
Or…didn’t. Forgot clover said he didn’t
I got info about the previous experiments from clover and I wonder if we’re like…reenacting the past somehow? Experiencing morphogenetic resonance with the last voyage?
Again no evidence i just wonder where the pseudoscience is going
Storm: santa was so my type as soon as I started playing that I just picked all rooms with him on my first run skugrhsghu
Cormorant: AHAHA that makes me feel better about going “yeahhh door 4 I like the cut of this guy’s jib”
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Cormorant: “the bracelet comes off when your heart rate reaches zero” interesting then that we’ve brought up cryostasis
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Cormorant: i simply don't trust him not to have a spare bracelet in his pocket!!!
They climbed into the elevator and Junpei listened to it creak and rattle its way to the bottom deck. Only Junpei, Ace, and Lotus were left.
As the elevator rumbled out of sight, Ace spoke.
Ace: “Lotus, would you be so kind as to go with me?”
Cormorant: “bad end” YEAH I’LL SAY
Storm: lkksghr yeah there's a few of those!
Cormorant: santa was really quick to declare that he, june, and seven needed to go with clover. waht's his game
june and ace could have done it just as easily
Storm: they could have! good catch
maybe he just thinks seven is cooler than ace,
Cormorant: i'm imagining clover taking all her grisly trophies to the door only to find it already engaged, because lotus needed no persuading,
and regarding the true ending requirements, it's also funny that santa's like "i hate this bookmark! get it out of my sight!" and this is a huge help in junpei befriending the girl who's otherwise about to snap
Storm: load bearing bookmark
Cormorant: good thing you threw that tantrum bud or you would have been killed with an axe
-----
Cormorant: in my suspicions i forgot a critical detail, which is that he didn't actually go into the door with the body this time
of course seven has been propping doors open, so it really could have been anybody
-----
Cormorant: "where have these 16 boys and girls disappeared to?" eight for each game and then an experimenter? again with the idea that zero might be in the game...
-----
Cormorant: bad endings complete! on to the normal ending, which hopefully has less of junpei getting stabbed to death
puzzling over who could have done all those murders, especially in the sub ending...or did everyone get killed? clover thinks that snake's death was faked. or did snake do all the murders, since he was the only one unaccounted for?...and then i remember what kind of game i'm playing. can't discount the ice mummy as a suspect.
Storm: you truly cannot ignore the possibility of the ice mummy
-----
Cormorant: ah no, so santa's sister was the kid that died...
i can't figure out the connection between events! why did the last games have the veneer of a science experiment, while this one has no context given? why was it all kids last time, and a random mix of ages this time, with some repeat subjects?
-----
Cormorant: called it!!!!
Junpei: “Ace, Guy X, and the 9th Man’s bracelet.”
Junpei: “That was all you needed to open door [3].”
Cormorant: called it before i even got to an ending ehehe
what i’ve been saying!!
Ace: “(9) is a potent ally in the Nonary Game.”
Ace: “Adding (9) to any set of numbers won’t alter the digital root.”
Ace: “As you can see, (9) is a very useful number here.”
Ace: “With it, one can go anywhere, with anyone.”
Ace: “It is, I suppose you could say, a game changer.”
-----
Cormorant: okay, normal ending finished! junpei did not get stabbed but we also didn’t resolve much…I’m now thinking that ace with his pocket drugs could have easily played dead in the sub ending
glad to see that snake is okay and hopefully can stay okay in the true ending. where did clover get that riddle, and will she still have it?
0=6. how much do I read into this
still don’t understand how we get from here to santa hostage situation. he’s been so consistent about not even considering betraying or abandoning people, so either he’s a better actor than ace…or it’s staged. are he and june in cahoots
Storm: augh so close now!! soon I can actually say things
-----
Cormorant: O FUCK
Seven: “Santa’s always in the room with her. That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it?”
Snake: “Yes, that’s right.”
Clover: “What about it…?”
Snake: “That’s quite simple, really.”
Snake: “You told me that the first time you came to this room…”
Snake: “…Santa was the first to refuse to leave June behind.”
Snake: “Now, doesn’t that beg the question “why?” Why would Santa do such a thing?”
Snake: “The answer is easy.”
Storm: B)
Cormorant: i've been thinking of them as a pair because it makes the math easier! if you've got 3 + 6 + 8, just cross out the ones that make 9 and don't even bother with the addition, your root is 8
Storm: B) B) B)
Cormorant: but god!! they are a pair, do not separate (or the jig is up)
Storm: they hid it soooo well
-----
Cormorant: was wondering when we would see the last cradle guy and oh duh, he was guy X
i did think it was odd that santa phrased it as "i need to leave two of you behind" rather than "i need three of you to come with me," but if he was responsible for everything (most things?), he knew that snake was there, and he was setting up a group that could follow him. excited to see where this is going!
[dreamy sigh] this game is so elegant. what a little puzzle box
Storm: yeah it is, it's just so wonderfully crafted. so little is wasted!
-----
Cormorant: oh boy [akane vision label]
"through the morphic fieldset we were resonant, and we were as one" i don't think i've mentioned it before but i'm constantly pleasantly surprised by the narration in this game. it's not flashy but it's evocative in a way that's really working for me
Storm: this is where the port falls short a bit of the original version... the ds really worked well with this aspect
-----
Cormorant: the number of times i thought "this will be totally wrong but i'll say it to storm anyway"
hello??? [arrow pointing back to the message “I wonder if we’re like…reenacting the past somehow? Experiencing morphogenetic resonance with the last voyage?”]
Storm: Y E A H
Cormorant: laser-guided spitballing
-----
Cormorant: man i said that 4+6 would have to be really good actors if they were the ones that opened door 3...and while they didn't kill snake, i sure underestimated our queen of the stage akane kurashiki
the baseline was NOT where i thought it was
Storm: no one does it like her
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defuckingthrone-dot-com · 19 days ago
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DO I WANNA KNOW IF YOURE TOO SWEET?
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Summary: Based on the song Too Sweet by Hozier, as well as Do i wanna know? by Arctic Monkeys.
Pairing Jolly x Reader
TW: Oral sex; fingering and bj.
A/N: I took entirely too long for n this one. This has been on my mind for weeks honestly and it got to the point where I felt I was being haunted by Hozier and Jolly. Every time I opened TikTok the first video to show up was always something to do with Hozier and then I would come here and I would only see Jolly content. And fuel was added to the fire when I heard Hozier cover Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys. Honestly this was supposed to come before I posted One more night gone (Noah fic inspired by City and Colour) but it just never felt right. Anyways I hope yall like what I came up with And hopefully it makes sense xx.
Divider by @bernardsbendystraes
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“C’mon darling live a little” Jolly taunted me with a big shit eating grin.
I had been working for the Bad Omens crew for almost a year, to say that I had been going through all emotions since working with them has to be an understatement. I mostly kept to myself, I was quiet most of the time, always sticking to my tasks and schedule.
Of course I had friends within the crew but I rarely went out after shows with them or the band to dinner or to have fun. And that's exactly why I was being bothered by Jolly at this very moment.
“I'll have you know that I do live, thank you very much” is said to him with an almost annoyed tone.
“You do? i almost never see you having fun with the rest of us.” he said almost laughing.”when was the last time you actually decided to turn off your work mode?”
I stayed in silence because if I actually thought about it he was correct. I wanted to give him a witty answer but I had none. I just looked him like i was lost an im starting to think im looking fucking stupid right now.
He was trying to convince me to go out with him and the rest of the guys. It was the end of the tour and they wanted to celebrate another successful run with the rest of the crew. Thankfully this last show was scheduled in California so we didn't have to travel all the way back home. I wasn't one to go out and party, in reality I was a hermit. I loved my job and getting to know everyone around me but I also loved getting to go home and take a warm bubble bath, drink a glass of wine and get cozy in bed while I tried to catch up on movies and series I might have missed while on tour.
He kept talking as I started to set up mic stands and cables. We had a few hours before the show started and everything needed to get set up. so the guys could also do soundcheck. The longer he talked the less confident i felt in winning this fight.
“Sometimes I think you're too sweet for me,” he said with a wink. “Don't you just wanna wake up, dark as a lake? Smellin' like a bonfire, lost in a haze? “ He looked so intently at me.
“1. What do you mean I'm too sweet for you?” i took a breath in and followed it up with another question “And 2. Are you really quoting Hozier?” I didn't intend to sigh through my lips as I said that last part. I'm sure he knew Hozier was my favorite artist at the moment, I constantly had his music playing while I worked.
I thought there was some sort of tension between us, I wasn't sure if it was sexual or what but there was always an electric charge that ran through my body whenever he talked or even looked at me.
He laughed a little, “okay 2 questions that i can definitely answer for you.”
I waited for him to respond for what seemed like a lifetime when in reality it was only a couple of seconds.
“1. You're too sweet for me babe, I feel like i'm corrupting you by just asking you to dinner and 2 If i say yes and i did quote Hozier would that make you agree to go out with me?… and the rest of the crew and guys obviously..”
“You have never asked me to din..” I stopped mid sentence trying to not sound disappointed. “If i say yes will you stop asking me?” i questioned
“Yes definitely” he said laughing “I promise you'll have fun, we're going to dinner and then after we'll go to a karaoke bar, have a couple of drinks and just let go for a while” he said without a care in the world.
I hesitated for a moment. “Fine I'll go, but you owe me one,” I said.
“Okay great, you got it, we will finish up packing everything and I’ll come by to get you afterwards” he said
“You’re just trying to make sure, I don’t run off right?” I put on my best unamused face.
“No…” he replied laughing
I started to get back to organizing everything without saying anything to him anymore. Honestly it made me anxious to think about going out with everyone, I didn’t do well in crowds which is kind of ironic given my job description. I also felt like I was the most boring person and I didn’t have too much to contribute to the conversation.
I wanted to not think about it anymore, it was time for me to come out of my comfort zone so I decided that tonight I would just enjoy everyone's company and just have fun. Jolly was right. I did need to live a little so I was gonna let go and come whatever may,
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The show went great, everything went as planned and after everything was packed and ready to go, we all headed out to dinner. Everyone decided that the ramen shop that was down the street from the venue was the place to go.
I was sitting between Jolly and Matt and I immediately regretted my decision. They were bickering back and forth about who had the better skills at Mario Kart, i don't really know what else I didn't really pay any attention to what they were saying anymore.
“So Jolly, how did you manage to convince y/n to come?” Matt asked Jolly
“umm i just worked my charm on her” Jolly said looking straight at me, before he turned his attention back to Marr he winked at me.
Matt just started laughing and returned to the conversation happening on the other side of him.
“So you worked your charm on me?” i asked him before i lost the little bravery i had in me
“Is it working? Are we getting somewhere?” he asked
“I…I.. what, wait where are you trying to go?” to say that i was nervous was an understatement.
He looked at me for what felt like a minute longer before he spoke again.
“you really don't know?” he says with an intrigues tone.
“I don't know what you are talking about?” i asked just as intrigued,
Before he could answer back Noah was already announcing that it was time to head out to the Karaoke bar. We all got up and headed toward the exit. We did end up having to use the tour vans in order to get to said place as it was a bit further away then what we expected.
I couldn't stop thinking about what Jolly was trying to tell me. Was I being delusional thinking he may have been about to confess his feelings for me? Most likely
We all arrived at our destination and we all seated across different tables..Some ordered some alcoholic drinks and some just sodas.
“Here, I brought you a beer,” Jolly said to me, taking the seat right beside me.
“Thank you, how did you know this is my favorite? I said, smiling at him.
“i know because i notice every little thing about you, i notice how you crinkle your nose every time you smell something you like, i notice how you think when no one is watching you you start singing, beautiful voice by the way, i notice how fast you drink your coffee in the mornings and within 30 minutes you're already ordering another through a delivery app” he took a deep breath “i know a lot of thing about you..because i..”
Before he could finish his sentence Folio was already by our table, “ Okay Jolly is your turn for karaoke, lets gooo, move it”
A little bit of laughter escaped my lips as Jolly stared at Folio for interrupting the moment, he got up from his seat and made his way over to the little computer set next to the state that had the songs loaded.
It looked like already had a song in mind since he took just under a minute to select it and for him to move over to the mic.
The lights in the stage got dimmer and the music started playing. I would know that song anywhere, more specifically, it always made me think of Jolly in one of my many delusions I had per day. I couldn't believe it, did he have some psychic powers I wasn't aware of? if i didn't know any better I would think he knew this was probably the song I would get off to when I was thinking of him.
“Have you got colour in your cheeks?” He started singing and I could practically feel pressure building between my legs.
I could not take my eyes off him, it was almost as if the world stopped for a moment and it was just me and him in this dim lit room, “i dreamt about you nearly every night this week”
We said in unison even though you could say I was more whispering than singing.
“Do i wanna know.. if this feeling flows both ways” I was forgetting how to breathe. “Was sorta hoping that you'd stay..”
I was practically wet at this point and I'm pretty sure he could tell that my face was red from all the blushing as well. I was about to explode into a million pieces, I didn't know how much I would be able to hold myself together for. and i was hoping i wasn't reading this whole situation wrong.
“Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new” I could say the same thing I thought. “Do you want me crawling back to you?” And there it was the last straw, I could feel the walls closing in and I needed to get a breath of fresh air.
I got up before he could make his way back to the table, I moved as fast as I could and crossed the threshold of the exit door to find myself outside the karaoke bar. I saw the lights of the street illuminate the path as I paced back and forth. It wasn't long before I heard the bar open, I stood still in one place and I saw Jolly walking towards me.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked with a concerned look on his face.
“Hi” that's all i could muster up to say, after a bit of silence i spoke again “ah yeah im okay i just needed fresh air, the space was getting too small and hot for my liking” i tried to sound as normal as i could.
“Hey listen, maybe I read into this too much..” he sounded concerned but i let him go on “i'm sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable it was never my intent..”
I realized what he was saying and before I lost the little courage that the alcohol I previously drank had given me I took his face in my hands and leaned in to kiss him.
It was slow at first, he tasted like the sweetest wine mixed with a hint of mint. As the kiss escalated we somehow also made our way to the alley that was on the back of the establishment.
\he licked the bottom of my lip asking for entrance and i allowed him without any restriction. I felt as if I was on cloud nine. Our tongues tangled in a war for dominance that I was sure I was gonna lose. He had one hand on the back on neck and the other on my hip. He started to slowly push me up against the wall. His lip parted from mine, and we both gasped for air.
“You don't know how long i been waiting for this” he dove for a quick kiss, “how long ive been wanting to touch you, just like this.” \His hand started to roam, even though i was fully clothed i could still feel his every touch.
He moved his hand to the wall so he could steady himself and with his other he moved his hand down, first through the valley of my chest down to my stomach, he stopped right before the seam of my jeans.
He took a breath and said “\if you wanted me to stop just say so” but i didn't dare say anything. I was too lost in the moment to even try to put a sentence together and he could see in my eyes was pure lust.
He took my silence as an indication to keep going. I heard the pop of my jeans being unbuttoned and and slowly his hand sinked down to touch me in the most intimate place. I let a gasp escape my lip and I started to feel my legs weakened. i stadied myself by placing both of my hands on the wall as he slipped his fingers through my folds.
“You're already so wet for me aren't you?” “Yees” I let out a shaky voice.
He started to rub my clit slowly in circles and I was slowly losing my inhibitions. the sensation all building up in the pit of my stomach. i was certain that i was seeing stars floating around, he slipped one finger inside of me “your so tight baby” he slipped a second finger in “so tight” he repeated.
His fingers started to thrust in and out of me, and all I could do vocally was whimper. I was close to my climax, I grabbed on his shoulders as I let the euphoric feeling take over me. It was like an explosion of color and warmth behind my eyes.
I was coming down from my high and trying to catch my breath while Jolly put his fingers in his mouth. The same two fingers that were inside of me just a moment ago.
“You taste so sweet, too sweet. get on your knees” he commanded.
And obeyed like my life depended on it. He unbuckled his pants and let his member free, and I swear that I could feel the drool roll out of my mouth onto the concrete floor.
“Are you going to be a good girl and suck on it?” my answer couldn't come out fast enough “Yes”
I grabbed his thigh and my mother went to the tip of cock which was already dripping in precum. i started stroking up and down, letting him get a feel, He closed his eyes and that's when i dove, i put the tip in my mouth licked the precum, he was big and girthy i wasn't sure if he would i could fit all of him in my mouth but i would dam try.
I bobbed my head up and down the length of his cock, each time with a bit more force than the last. He tangled his fingers in my hair and guided me, for the last few minutes until I could feel the web of his cum hitting the back of my throat.
And as I sat still on my knees, and looked up to meet Jollys eyes, I knew in that moment that everything had shifted, and I was done for. He had ruined any chance of any other guy that tried to make me feel this way because no one will ever compare. Ever.
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xmhaoluvr · 6 months ago
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SULKY; TWS KYUNGMIN x READER
_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
KYUNGMIN looked at the time inside the practice room and had noticed that it was already 11 PM. He sighed frustratingly and hurried to pack his things. He’s the only one left in the said room so he’s the one who turned off everything and closed up. Rushing to the elevator, he held his bag tightly in order for it to not fall out of his grasp
“Wait! Please hold the door!” He shouted out to the person inside the elevator but it was too late, thus, he made a detour and ran to the stairs that was on the other side of the building. He saw the flight of stairs while catching his breath from running and sighed deeply before running down
“Shit!” He cursed out loud after almost falling down before continuing his run for the HYBE Building main door
As he was about to run home to his apartment, he heard someone call his name “Kyungmin!!” He turned around and saw his senior, Seungkwan
“Ah, senior!” He greeted enthusiastically albeit heaving deeply “Why are you out of breath?” The older asked, “Ah, well, I need to rush home so…” Still catching his breath, he smiled to his senior “Let me give you a ride” Seungkwan offered “Is it okay?” Seungkwan nodded and Kyungmin followed him to his car
The car ride was full of laughs and conversation, and when Seungkwan found the right time to ask, he did, “Why were you running home?” He asked, swerving with one hand “Ah, well… my girlfriend” Kyungmin whispered out, feeling bashful as he massaged his ear. Seungkwan didn’t quite catch it though, much to Kyungmin’s dismay
“What was that?” Seungkwan asked again “Well, my girlfriend is waiting and we talked about coming home late when we don’t really have a packed schedule” The blonde admitted with a timid voice and Seungkwan laughed “You’re so cute, don’t take my laugh the wrong way. You just remind me of myself because my girlfriend is also like that” Seungkwan said with a laugh making Kyungmin do so as well
They reached Kyungmin’s apartment and the aforementioned bowed 90 degrees while thanking Seungkwan “Make sure to be extra loving to your girlfriend” Seungkwan teased before leaving, Kyungmin blushed and went up to their unit
Kyungmin unlocked the door and saw his girlfriend sitting on the living room watching TV… and she looked pissed. He gulped before setting down his bag and sitting next to her “‘m sorry” he said immediately but received no response
“Baby?” Nothing
“Love?” Nothing
“Pretty?” Nothing
“Sweetie?” Nothing
“Honey?” Still nothing
He had tried every corny call signs he could think of but he still received no response. She had stood up and walked to the kitchen and he followed; like a baby duck following the mother duck all while holding the hem of her shirt
She placed take outs on the table, slightly slamming it “Eat before sleeping” and left to go to their shared bedroom. Frowning, Kyungmin followed her inside and saw her tucking herself “Love…” he whined out, snuggling next to her and spooning her; he kept placing kisses on her cheeks, trying to be extra loving like how Seungkwan said
“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t notice the time and I forgot to call you. I was so focused on practicing because I wanted to perfect our new choreography for our Comeback Show at Inkigayo. I know I should’ve called your first and I know I made you worried, I saw your 53 missed calls,” he said with a small smile
“I’m really sorry, baby. I promise I won’t ever do it again” he kissed her cheek one last time and heard her sniff “You crying?” “It’s just… I thought something happened to you” she said, wiping her tears before facing and hugging him, her face buried deep into his chest “Please call me first next time, I was so worried” he kissed the top of her head before caressing it and she continued to cry “I know, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again”
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YAYYYY WE’RE DONE WITH MY SECOND FIC 🥹 i’ve always wanted to write for TWS but i never found the right motivation and inspiration to do so and now i’m overflooding with it 😭 this might not reach expectations but i hope it’s good enough 🥹
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dead-lights · 6 months ago
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trai-lore!
because ya know. trailers. with lore.
i'll see myself out
but! before i go - I went and compiled all of the Vampires trailers I could find! I wasn't familiar with all of the shorts and I'm not 100% sure I found them all. There are a lot of contradictions, but aside from the gameplay trailer they can mostly be stitched together.
Also, I recognize I'm trying to wring blood from a stone, reading into things that EA never intended, but ya know. That's the point of exploring lore!
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this is mostly validated by werewolves - Lily's dialogue confirms that Caleb was turned by Miss Hell, and the 7 years unlucky mirror confirms that Vlad ambushed her while she was brushing her teeth.
It looks like the bar Miss Hell attacks Caleb in is supposed to be in Forgotten Hollow. There are plenty of reasons he could've been there, but to me that implies that Lilith turned first, and he was there because that's where she hangs out now.
It looks like you're supposed to be able to see the normie parts of Forgotten Hollow from that cliff with the bench, rather than just more of the mountain. There's definitely supposed to be more than just those 5 lots.
I'm not sure if the person behind Miss Hell in the bar is anyone specific? they feel slightly familiar but I might be thinking of Leila Illes from island living, which came out afterwards.
It's unclear how Caleb ended up in the bathroom or whether he asked to turn - the animation is the same either way. In game, I've had a lot of success with both bat-form bathroom ambushes and the good ol' "ask for woohoo and then cancel the order as soon as you're alone together" maneuver so either is plausible. To me, it looks like she's reenacting her transformation, with her as Vlad, so she would've wanted unwilling prey. I've generally thought that Caleb followed her into the bathroom thinking he was going to get laid, but with that in mind it does make sense that she would've just ambushed him when he got up to pee (poor humans and their bladders can't handle their nectar). @charsimsalot has a lot of interesting things to say about how being forcibly turned would have affected Miss Hell in this excellent post about the apartment they built for the rebellious vampires!
That bathroom door is on backwards. I checked - that door only has a sign on one side. Maybe they really wanted to hammer home the point that this is a bathroom? the sink and toilet do a pretty good job of that...
Caleb is not a daywalker in this trailer - since this seems to show him in his earlier days, that 100% checks out. It takes 15 skill points to become a daywalker, which... yikes.
note: I know the sims is very gay these days but do keep in mind that vampires was released January 2017. Gay marriage wasn't fully legalized in the US until June 2015. It was a big deal that Caleb suave kissed a guy in the trailer!
fun fact: the song used for this, deadly flo, seems to be either very cheap or free to license. It is used in a few episodes of the Baking Championship franchise. Y'all, that franchise got me back into baking and directly inspired GOBC. I lost my absolute shit when I heard it playing! There are also parts of Holiday Baking Championship that sound suspiciously like the sims 2 theme... I kinda wonder if there's a simmer in their sound department.
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Not really that interesting - earlier versions of their outfits/vlad's dark form. Lilith cannot actually turn into a bat in-game.
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vlad bloodvein can use "deprive needs" (must be a master vampire at minimum)
brandy can turn into a bat (should be a minor vampire at minimum)
based on the view outside Brandy's bedroom window, it looks like the virtuous vampires might live in an apartment in San Myshuno?
vlad uses supernatural speed to collect figurines
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Not very interesting - just Brandy and Elle eating.
↓↓↓ WARNING - jumpscare below ↓↓↓
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lmao what
this one doesn't even seem real, but as far as I can tell it was in fact released as a teaser for the full trailer.
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This is the official trailer - it lines up reasonably well with other lore. Also the song is so fun.
Most notably: this trailer shows that Caleb is the one who turned Inna. No context is given. Other promotional material & the in-game paintings show that she was a thrall, potentially for hundreds of years before Caleb turned her.
The exterior of the house where Caleb turns Inna looks exactly like Wolfsbane Manor. However, Inna's bedroom doesn't match any room in the manor. It looks like there is a nearly identical house where Widowshild Townhouse currently is, so either Inna was in that house, or Wolfsbane Manor has since been remodeled. It would be kinda interesting if Caleb and Lilith decided to buy Inna's old house when they moved...
When Caleb turns into a bat, he's in the graveyard to the left of Vlad's house. Maybe he and Lilith lived with Vlad for a time? It kinda looks like Vlad had a lot of vampires filtering in and out of his place.
Elle real horny. I wonder what happened to that guy - he isn't a gallery vampire but he shows up in a lot of the paintings. As far as I'm aware Elle doesn't show up in any paintings.
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This trailer is an absolute mess. It contradicts enough existing lore that it shouldn't be taken as any sort of canon, but it's a decent source of inspiration to fill in the gaps, and I pulled heavily from it when I was choosing powers for the gallery vampires.
Elle uses her mist form (I checked the animations) - she must be a grand master. She can use Command.
Markus Crow has supernatural speed - must be master+
Lilith is using a computer at the beginning of this, which feels weird because this is supposed to be at least 50 years ago. That said, technology doesn't advance in the sims, so, sure.
This makes it look like Vlad just broke into her house and turned her like he did with Miss Hell, but to me Lily makes it sound like Lilith was a more active participant: "I remember when my cousin, Lilith, first told me she'd met a fascinating man named Vlad. After that, she started spending a lot of time "training" with him. I thought she meant they were workout buddies. It wasn't until later that I found out she'd been lured to the dark arts."
Lilith's bed is a reward from the painter career - not sure if the implication is that she earned it herself?
I can't really see outside Lilith's windows, but it does kinda look like Forgotten Hollow? Which doesn't make a lot of sense to me - why would she and Caleb have to move to Forgotten Hollow if they already lived there? That said, that isn't Lilith. And that isn't Caleb. This was from when their names were Gina and Raylan.
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Note that "Raylan" doesn't have the good vampire aspiration, and his traits are completely different. The others aren't quite the same as the gallery sims, but at least they still have the same names.
Looking out the window, it looks like the Virtuous Vampires are in Forgotten Hollow with everyone else. In one of the shorts, it looks like they live in a big city. I'm not sure which I like better!
Lilith is used as the example for supernatural strength. While she doesn't actually have that in-game, this is part of why I like to make her fitness 10 brute with vampiric might.
Elle continues to be real horny. Who is that guy? I like the implication that they had to go get it on as bats because Vlad was taking a nap and they couldn't fuck in his coffin :(
Bonus! While this isn't a trailer, exactly, it's a promotional blog post from Vlad's point of view and it is the best. Every last part of this makes me happy, from Caleb and Lilith ganging up on Vlad to Vlad referring to sparring matches as "epic duels" (or, in this particular case, what seems like a pretty good training sesh for Caleb).
Nothing about Lilith makes it seem like she doesn't feed on people except a) her household description and b) this post. That said, those two things about as primary as canon can get.
Vlad claims to own 100 gray coats
Vlad only fought Caleb. There could be so many reasons for that - was Caleb the one who made the challenge? Does Vlad not want to fight his offspring?
Vlad claims that the Encyclopedia Vampirica is mostly based on him. Make of that what you will.
Second bonus: Did you know that Vlad has a normie cousin??? There was a bit of promotional content for seasons involving the Climate family. This is that time they invited Vlad over for Harvestfest.
Please let me know if I missed anything! There's a lot of material out there, much of it no longer available on EA's site, so it's definitely possible there are things I didn't find.
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agentlemansroom · 1 month ago
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FORMIDABLE OR FEEBLE?
Every single man wants to be in position of power. Any man who claims he wants a “simple” life is a feeble man. You need to find the greatness within you because God has designed you to be a king standing amongst other kings ruling the earth.  If you don’t believe you’re capable of conquering the world what’s the point of being a man?  You need to be intense about becoming formidable because if you are a man who is powerless nobody will care whether if you live or die. Only women and children are loved unconditionally while men are loved under conditions. Like status and what he can offer. You have a duty to God,  a man’s goodness is in mastering his own power.
The mistake most guys are making is they're running after money and women completely ignoring the fact that money and women both ultimately follow power. Start by building yourself physically. Your body is your temple. Sculpt it. Respect it. Physical strength is important, but remember, it takes mental strength to gain it. the mind controls the body. If you strengthen your mind, your body will follow. Learn how to fight. Get punched in the face a few times. Go through some shit thats painful. Over and over and over. You’ll find that all wisdom lies in pain. This is where you want to be.
You cannot defeat a man who has gone through hell alone and came out the other side stronger, more disciplined, and more determined. No woman wants a man without scars. Scars represent where you’ve been . They tell stories that turn a woman on. Simply because you’re an unshakable beast who cannot be defeated. That’s sexy to them. There is a reason she doesn’t call you daddy. Do you even know what that feels like? Unfortunately most of you do not. You have no scars to show where you’ve been. What do you expect? Every woman i've ever been with knows me as daddy. Whether if they are still around or not. I will always be the man they orgasm to when no one is looking. Be that guy. Women naturally desire a mans strong presence and us men are naturally inspired by them. This is a primal dynamic that is deeply rooted in our human nature. Most people's aspirations are to just be included and accepted, not to lead and command. Don’t be that guy.
Don’t know how to lead? Get around leaders. Don’t know how to speak? Read books. I can transparently say for myself that i’ve lacked here monumentally. So I am currently teaching myself to become a more articulated thinker and speaker. When you can compendiously and concisely explain your point of view, you welcome the audience into your world and this is essential for a man of purpose. You need to have the most interesting vernacular you can possible have. Be interesting and be humble but you also need to be dangerous. Your walk should be a vibration of that. Powerful dominant men carry an aura that feeble men cannot replicate. 
Jordan Peterson once said something that stuck with me “A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very dangerous man who has that under voluntary control."  There’s a scripture in the old testament that says “The meek shall inherit the earth”. Im sure you’ve all heard it before. The thing is the word “meek” isn’t  translated properly. It really means those who have swords and know how to use them but keep them sheathed, shall inherit the earth. 
Don’t become a man with power just to misuse it, that would be completely asinine. You must honor God with this stewardship and use it for his glory.  When men are formidable and can confront directly and honorably instead of reducing to covert manipulation tactics AKA (a shadow feminine trait) They maintain their integrity. True strength and goodness rests in a man’s choice to control his force.
Are you willing to do what it takes? Are you capable of handling power, authority and responsibility ? Or will you remain a feeble pathetic man all your life? The choice is yours. 
-Mesh
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letherightonein · 2 months ago
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Why I made a correction
I have read the reactions towards my pinned post, and I'm grateful for the attention it got. Thank you for wanting to know the truth, and thank you for your kind words.
I decided to make a correction, because I think that I was too judgmental with feminism and taking things out of proportion.
To put things in perspective, this psyop has been running for more than ten years, and tons and tons of men believed it without a second thought. The magnificent critical thinkers (/s), even authorities regarded as deep and thoughtful, fell for it.
Reporters did a terrible job and fueled an incel meme, and I think it was done on purpose since The WaPo graph includes-for some reason- gay men as "sexless" to exaggerate the numbers.
Evopsych is clearly an inspiration for the manosphere, even when they have made big changes in their theories (please, check mutual mate choice theory in contrast with males compete, females choose theory) they haven't done a good popularization of it nor criticized the manosphere since the beggining -and they don't have excuse in that regard.
(Some) feminists went with the flow once the 2018 chart was viral, without knowing better, and in previous years, there were feminists efforts to combat/constrast manosphere talking points with the creation of -for example- r/exredpill and r/incelexit or Laura Bates book on the topic. I also consider feminists efforts to contrast/argue evopsych popular talking points too.
And, most important, it really harms your mind to deep dive on manosphere content, so it's a no-brainer if healthy minded feminists were not willing to dive into the manosphere to debunk an absurd theory that no one imagined it could go mainstream at some point.
Don't make my mistake, don't be harsh if you see other feminists repeating manosphere memes.
I'm still a contrarian and also have a marginalized POV that makes me not go in tune easily with any ideology/movement. But I know to recognize when I'm wrong.
Ironically, moid behavior made me to reconsider, since in previous days they worked themselves up over a meaningless video of a feminist reproducing manosphere talking points and said stupid things like "well, at least manosphere is original, feminists are not".
If you are a woman, you have heard how manipulative, inferior, stupid, slutty, disgusting, you are. For males hearing it is novelty, for women is daily stuff, it's historical stuff. Open a book, and find again men's gossip on women, admire that great man that did cool things and realize -again- how he was a wife-beater/misogynist/molester/harasser/murderer/rapist. Women have been dealing with this shit since forever, it would be extremely weird if they don't end up absorbing male supremacists memes or develop a degree of normalization.
I'm used to male bigotry, it's moid nature. But that makes me take a greater offense if I see a woman displaying the same bigotry as men. And that it's not right. Males have demostrated again that they lack original thought, that every gossip over women stems from their pathetic sexual frustration and need of lessen half's population in order to hide their disposability and meaningless existence. Women, you all, are more receptive to the truth than men.
I have been talking against this aberration for years, sending emails, writing, arguing. Completely alone, trying to prevent massive content creators from speaking about this things, being downplayed by those fanatic and solipsistic zealots. And now, somehow, I give credit to two or three moidlets that actually bothered to debunk this nonsense. And I dare to be angry with women, instead with men for not stopping it and doing better earlier, when it was women who first went against it.
Laura Bates! , Cynthia Payne!
You all and myself. And every single woman I have talked to these years.
I accussed, but the fault was in me. I will never forget this. When it's about me, it's about women and vice versa. I'm not an exception, I see what a lot of women have seen.
Again, thank you for your notes and for helping me to spread the truth.
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zsakuva · 11 months ago
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How do you come up with so many intricate plots and characters? They seem so… human? I’m very surprised you don’t read much! I guess what I’m asking is, what’s your creative process? Do you take inspiration from aspects of yourself, or is it more of a form of escapism? When you write your plots, do you imagine yourself as the character, the audience, or both? 
Another thing that truly amazes me and makes your channel stand out a lot is the way you give the listener a voice. It feels like each listener is so different and unique, and *actually* interacts with the character. It also feels like you’re never spoon feeding us information? All the questions do get answered, but it’s different style imo. Usually, in most ASMR RPs I’ve heard, the speaker will repeat what you said verbatim, (eg. “You think XXX?”, or “You want me to XXX?”), and the frequency at which these types of phrases are used makes it *seem* like a RP. Of course, it’s a challenging medium - the audience needs to know whats going on somehow, but you manage to achieve the same in a much more subtle way. It makes me wonder how long you spend planning out your content haha.
Final question, do you prefer to type or handwrite your plans, scripts, etc? I’ve always preferred planning on paper, even though it’s a bit impractical haha. Also, would you mind showing us your handwriting? I think it says a lot about a person! There’s the stereotype that people usually have a certain handwriting that corresponds to their major/occupation, and if I remember correctly, I think you studied film? I’m just curious hehe. No pressure, of course!
Sorry for sending you an essay, I hope you have a restful and comfy Friday! 
Thank you!
Honestly, I don't know how I do it myself considering my memory is absolute shit! Though I don't read much, I learn about characters through other mediums such as television shows and movies. I'll try and break this down for ease of reading!
~My Creative Process~
When making a character or series, it all depends on where my initial inspiration began. For example, with Niall, I wanted to create an M4M series exploring a character who carries trauma of being forcibly outed, betrayed by someone he confided in, and how those events affected him through his adult life. The core of Niall's story was confronting fears that manifested due to the Listener's actions in school, and finding that there was a way to heal, albeit slowly, and a hope to love despite external animosity. Niall exists because I wanted to tell a particular story.
With Zaros, he first came about because of The Noble Trials plot. I knew that he would be different from other characters, so I'm using this series as a means of testing my skill with a new editing style, story format, and new world setting. Although it's more work, I have the most fun with The Noble Trials and making its lore (though I'm always a sucker for that)!
I go into creating characters with the belief that they are all extremely flawed. Whether that be by nature or nurture, there will inevitably be some slew of events in their pasts that shaped the way they act in the current timeline. This also extends to the Listeners so they aren't rigid, boring, and an empty shell. Characters can clash, but they can also change with and for each other. A good example is Isaac's story. He was scarred by his past, and was willing to confine Pickle in the house if it meant not losing someone he cared for again. Pickle was also scarred with abandonment and instability, wondering if they would ever find a home. Isaac gave them a place to belong, and Pickle gave him consolation and courage to face the unknown.
When I write, the character's actions must reflect the backstory in which they were crafted, so I always need to dive into their heads.
~Listener Dialogue~
This requires much more thought to make interactions seem authentic, but there's a fine line between repeating words verbatim and not alluding to any sort of context. I dislike repeating the Listener's words so I try to indirectly insinuate what they were saying whenever possible. If I can do so with SFX alone, that's a bonus! But when scenes contain heavy dialogue, it can be difficult to get the message across without being heavy-handed with repetition, unless that's the purpose of a specific moment.
~Handwriting vs Typing~
I always handwrite my outlines! On some occasions, I can start and finish a script without the help of one, but my workflow tends to include writing an outline of some kind, and it has to be done on paper! I feel like the ideas manifest quicker that way.
However, I always type my scripts. It's much easier to edit, share with other voice actors, and there's a level of professionalism in formatting that motivates me to write more!
Here is an example of my writing. This screenshot was part of a Twitch stream!
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subzeroparade · 18 days ago
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How much do you write in one sitting? How much of it stays, how much of an effort do you have to make it pretty? Does it comes naturally? I've never been able to write up until very recently and I find myself constantly baffled by what I am able to write, but it takes such a conscious effort not to make it garbage, and I never know how much of it is palatable and not just idiotically purple for no reason. Do you deal with those thoughts? I'm asking because I admire how you write, just, so much.
Hi anon, I have no idea if this post on my own writing process helped you - I hope it did - but please do not doubt that it takes such a conscious effort not to make it garbage is a universal truth, and I get it. Writing is a craft, same as all creative arts. Anyone can dabble in it - and should, it’s part of being human - but honing your skill requires conscious (and sometimes frustrating) effort. To answer your questions:
How much do you write in one sitting?
Depends on the deadline I’ve given myself. I can plan to sit down for some light edits and churn up a few thousand words, but also vice-versa. I might say fuck it and cull half those words after, because they’re weak enough to be edited out entirely. I might write a poor excuse for a paragraph one day, but tease a whole, worthwhile scene from it the next. So: it depends. Quality over quantity. After furiously writing and editing, I recommend going away for a while - like, a week. When you come back you’ll find your perspective on what does and doesn’t hold up has probably changed. 
How much of it stays, how much of an effort do you have to make it pretty? Does it come naturally?
See above. Also I assume by pretty you mean good, compelling, readable. Rarely anything from the first draft is exactly intact when I publish - much of it has been reworked. Occasionally I have a moment of epiphany, so a sentence written in Draft 1 remains unchanged - because it does everything it needs to do - but they are few and far between, and I can pick them out for you myself from memory. One of the greatest lessons I learned (ironically from a fine arts prof but it 100% applies to writing) is that nothing in your first pass is too precious to destroy and redo, so don’t get attached.  As for whether it comes naturally, I think two things come naturally: 1) the desire to write (you are compelled to, or not, that's all. unfortunately the discipline to sit down and do it does not come naturally - for me, anyway). 2) the particular cadence of your voice, and so certain particularities in your prose. People who've heard me speak irl know that I have cadence and speech patterns that tend to match my writing. It's hard to undo that, so it's something to think about leaning into, and working to your benefit.
Do you deal with these thoughts (the question of how much is palatable and not just idiotically purple for no reason).
I did and still do, though less. I’d also argue that these thoughts, if channelled in a constructively critical way, are extremely useful. You should be asking yourself Is this good? Have I considered turning left instead of right at this plot point, and what would that mean for the story? Do I really need this turn of phrase? If I read this out loud does it transmit meaning, or does it sound like senseless decorative blather? You should have a roster of these questions ready (again, if your aim is to take a fine-tooth comb to your work and get better). I still cringe at shit I’ve written recently and think about paring down where I can, or rephrasing until it makes the impact I want it to. 
The best way to get perspective on this is to (wait for it) read. Read a lot. Read stuff that is beyond you, outside your preferred genre, both contemporary and not. Variety - consuming a vast amount of good work - is how you hone your critical eye. If you want to get better, look for things that will challenge you, and by extension inspire you. You don’t necessarily have to read only prize-winners or peruse literary mags for recs (though full disclosure, that’s what I do) but you might want to consider the roster of authors you turn to when you need to make stylistic adjustments, or are simply starved for inspo. For example: if I’m finding my output a little too monotonous, I will pick up someone hypnotic like Joyce Carol Oates, or baroque as Angela Carter. If my voice is getting a little “idiotically purple” - which it can - and I just need to fucking describe something and calm down, then it’s Hemingway (I hate him but he's really useful, sorry), or someone contemporary like Mark Haddon. What these authors have in common is they’ve all written something that feels like it has blown the back of my head out (wow sorry again that follows a Hemingway reference), and that’s the high I am always chasing when I am reading, be it for study or pleasure, because I want to hurt/love my own reader in that same way.   
Tldr; it takes work, it can be frustrating, but don’t stop. Don’t doubt yourself but do question your work, vigorously; have at it with the pleasure of knowing it can always be better, and it will be. Hope this helps :’)
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0theghost0 · 1 year ago
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Update
Hi hi, everyone. I know it's been a long time. I was actually typing up a message to @prince-infidel because of an ask they sent me, but I realized I should probably just make it a post. So I guess this is an update. Okay, short version: The end of 2022 and the entirety of 2023 was horrible for me. A lot happened, and 97% of it was not good. Now to get into a bit more specifics. While all of this crazy stuff was going on, a friend of mine really needed help with their company. They were just going through a ton, and I jumped on to help them while they were trying to figure that stuff out. Turns out that I was a good fit. So I've completely changed careers currently. Also, with all of this crazy shit going on, I stopped drawing entirely. That's a first for me. No matter what was going on, I always had my drawing as an outlet. It was very new for it to be gone. I actually only recently started drawing again, and when I say recently, I mean last week. I haven't even finished anything and my progress comes in very small doses. Baby steps I guess. Now the stuff you're actually probably interested in. Even though I haven't been drawing, I have been making art. - I've been putting crazy amounts of effort into making costumes. It's really fun and I've level grinded a lot with sewing and fabrics. I made an entire Victorian costume on my own. It was cool. - I weirdly started working on dolls? I have no idea why I started doing that. I hate dolls. - I started making weird... sculptures? I don't know how to describe them. It's basically recycling and turning materials into monstrosities for my own entertainment and to scare random people. - And I've delved more into my hobby of SFX makeup.
I have been being creative, it's just a bunch of stuff that no one cares about. It makes me happy and that's all there is to it really. Which brings me to the long version, because I have no idea how to continue this without going into details. I can only assume all of this answers anyone questions who might be curious. Time to get a bit more specific.
I don't know how to start this, so I guess I'll just say that my interests have completely moved. I think everything above should make that clear, but when I'm referring to interests, I mostly mean the things that inspire me. This is actually typical for me. I love fiction and am a fan of many, many things. I get really involved in a fandom for a while, get bored, then move on to one that is piquing my interest more. Eventually I come back and the cycle starts over. I always keep up with all of my interests simultaneously, it's just that one usually dominates the others. The thing is, comic books have completely lost my interest currently.
There's a lot of factors. I'm not going to repeat stuff that you've probably heard a thousand times from other people about the current state of the comic industry, comic writing, the movies, the video games blah blah blah whine whine whine. I think one of the big things though is that this last year has really changed me. I'm just a really different person now. I'm not that happy-go-lucky nerd I was before. I think my major concern is that I honestly think it would be fucked up if I continued to post here.
People started following me here because of my art and my posts. It would be fucked up to switch that around on them and just show back up as this different person with different art, different interests etc. I've thought about making an update on here a bunch of different times, but I never did because of stuff like that. However, in a way, it's been really nice. It's been nice to just do whatever stupid art project comes into my head, and to do it just for the sake of making something. I think dropping drawing all together (not by choice, mind you) turned out to be good for me. I think I got in tune with a creative side of myself that I'd lost a long time ago. It's been pretty neat.
I've thought about just leaving this tumblr to history. I honestly think that I should. It can be a weird time capsule of this specific fandom in this specific time period. I've thought about just making different social media accounts so that people who want to see any of my new, awful creations could if they wanted to. I don't know though. I'm just all up in the air all the time now lol
I get this isn't an "all questions answered" kinda post. Not that most people needed them, but I know that there are people who just liked my art in general and I knew they must be curious. So I hope I at least answered some stuff and gave some clarity.
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thisselflovecamebacktome · 2 months ago
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My Taylor Swift inspired playlists masterpost 4.0.
I’m going to put these under a read more because otherwise this post is going to get super long but the TLDR of this update is that while I was originally planning to wait until I finished another full album, I've finished 22 playlists since the last update, including the Christmas songs which I wanted to release before Christmas. Also, every album has at least one playlist for it now which is cute. So as usual, I will get around to the others when I can, but in the meanwhile, have fun and happy holidays to those who celebrate.
“[album]... but not by Taylor” series:
(all compilations of songs that Taylor has never worked on that give me the same vibes as Taylor’s did on a song by song basis)
Debut deluxe version
Fearless platinum version
Fearless vault songs
Speak Now deluxe version
Speak Now vault songs
RED deluxe version
RED vault songs
1989 deluxe version
1989 vault songs
Reputation
Lover
Folklore deluxe version
Evermore deluxe version
Midnights lavender version + 3am tracks
The Tortured Poets' Department: The Anthology
Song Inspired playlists:
The Tortured Poets Department:
But Daddy I Love Him (Dealing with unwanted criticism)
I Can Do It With A Broken Heart (Faking it until you make it through the post break up grief)
Clara Bow (Every artist I've heard someone call 'The new Taylor' regardless of if I agree or not)
So High School (Songs I was obsessed with back when I was in high school)
The Prophecy (Desperately praying for love)
The Bolter (Always being the first to leave)
The Manuscript (Recovering from an age gap relationship)
Midnights:
You're On Your Own Kid (Where I am is a journey of all the steps I've taken and I take responsibility and am proud of that while still wishing I was kinder to my younger self)
Vigilante Shit (Sometimes anger and revenge is the answer)
Bigger Than The Whole Sky (The hole that death leaves behind)
Would've Could've Should've (Something happened at too young a age and it's led to nothing but anger)
Evermore:
Willow (Finding love when you least expect it)
Champagne Problems (Wishing you were in love with someone you loves you)
Gold Rush (The love that never eventuated)
Tis The Damn Season (Leaving the love of your life but wishing you could stay)
Tolerate It (Questioning an unstable relationship)
No Body No Crime (Getting revenge against your murderous best friend’s ex husband and his mistress)
Happiness (Accepting that both your ending relationship and what comes next did and will bring you happiness)
Dorothea (Missing your first love who you dated in the 2000s/2010s)
Coney Island (The sadness that comes with knowing you are the reason a relationship ended)
Ivy (Cheating/Going after taken people is bad... but these songs are all bops)
Cowboy Like Me (Songs that make me wish I believed in love)
Long Story Short (Songs that make me feel good about myself/my journey)
Marjorie (Songs that were written about family)
Closure (Moving past people you know will never truly be sorry)
Evermore (Love will always guide you through the toughest times)
Right Where You Left Me (Feeling stuck and left behind in life)
It’s Time To Go (Knowing when to choose yourself first and walk away)
Folklore:
The 1 (When you can’t forget that one person from your past)
Cardigan (Knowing your worth when someone comes back to you after wronging you)
The Last Great American Dynasty (The highs and lows of finding yourself)
Exile (Different gender duet songs I like)
My Tears Ricochet (Fuck Scott Borchetta)
Mirrorball (Breaking free of needing validation)
Seven (Songs with an age in the title)
August (First teenage heartbreak with someone you thought was your person but who didn’t love you back)
This Is Me Trying (Picking yourself up after a depressive episode)
Illicit Affairs (Being the other, younger woman)
Invisible String (Everything will turn out okay)
Mad Woman (Feminist songs)
Epiphany (Societal based songs)
Betty (Accepting you have to move forward after hurting someone)
Peace (Songs that make me feel a sense of peace)
Hoax (Holding on for far too long)
The Lakes (Wanting to escape from reality with your partner)
Lover:
ME! (Songs with at least one queer artist on them)
Reputation:
I Did Something Bad (Refusing to be emotionally present in your relationship as an act of self preservation)
Gorgeous (Having a chance encounter with someone you fall for while still in a relationship with someone else)
1989:
Welcome To New York (Songs with locations in the title)
RED:
Run (I clearly like songs with 'Run' in the title far too much)
Speak Now:
Last Kiss (If I had a nickel for every singer I liked that allegedly wrote bangers about Joe Jonas, I'd have 3 nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened 3 times)
Fearless:
Untouchable (Covers I like just as much as the original song)
Taylor Swift:
Tim McGraw (When I think Tim McGraw country music, just know I think of these)
Our Song (Songs with the same titles as Taylor's songs)
Non album songs:
Beautiful Ghosts (Songs from musicals I have seen)
Christmas Tree Farm (Christmas songs - Happy version)
Christmas Must Be Something More (Christmas songs - Religious version)
Christmases When You Were Mine (Christmas songs - Sad version)
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