#(although I have yet to see the live action films)

[narislvr]

domestic!ellie who finds herself being completely smitten by you during your weekly movie night. ✧.*

a short and quick one-shot ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

Palestine resources !!

DVD's litter the mahogany coffee table in messy arrays of colors and titles as you search for a specific disc for tonight's movie night. It wasn't a movie you and ellie had watched together yet, but you knew it was somewhere in your collection as you hunched over the edge, eyeing each and every disc the two of you owned.

"does it really take this long to pick a movie, babe?" ellie would tease, clicking her tongue as she set down two of your blankets on the couch behind you before crossing her forearms over the crown of your head and resting her chin on them. a huff leaves your lips at her comment as you tilt your head upwards, her playful gaze meeting yours through your lashes and her messy bangs.

"hey, you choose the same movie every week. You have absolutely no room to talk," you quip back, a fond look in your eyes as you watch her chuckle in amusement before glancing back down and finally spotting the DVD you had been searching for. "aha! found it!" you cheer, holding the disc up for ellie to see.

"...mama-mia? babe, I swear if this is one of those musicals you like.-"

"you'll love it. promise." you interrupt, a giddy chime in your voice as you carefully shake her off and get up to insert the beloved disc into the waiting dvd player. seeing your excitement, ellie only shook her head while letting out a playful overdramatic sigh.

"atleast pick up your mess first."

──

so maybe ellie did "love" it, but not because of the plot nor the abundance of ABBA classics. Instead it was because of the way it seemed to bring you so much joy as you smiled from ear to ear and you sang along to each and every song while commenting on little parts of the movie she otherwise wouldn't have picked up on. it was endearing, and although you were generally a rather bright person, she couldn't help but admire the genuine light in your eyes as you watched the film she had learned was your favorite.

her sketchbook was on her lap, her gaze flickering from you down to the page every so often as she scribbled down little doodles of you singing or mimicking certain actions from the characters on screen. you were too busy attempting to harmonize with "donna and the dynamites" to super trooper, that you didn't notice the way her attention was solely on you as she drew a portrait of your side profile. the light from the screen illuminated your features, accentuating the curves and edges of your face with a soft glow that she swore made you look almost ethereal. in the moment you were her muse, regardless of whether your voice cracked or went off key, and all she wanted to do was capture this moment and live in it forever.

"you're not paying attention, els." she hears you whine as your attention finally shifts back to ellie who was still sketching away in her sketchbook.

"Of course I am," she responds, looking up at the screen for a second and realizing she didn't actually know what was going on as she watched sophie help one of the three men crawl out of under a table. you raise a brow at her and she gives you a sheepish smile in return as she puts her sketchbook to the side and signals for you to lean closer to her to which you happily ablige.

"doesn't seem like it," you hum, sneaking a glance at the open book at ellies side before shifting slightly to rest your head against her chest. her arm wraps around your waist, her fingers gently resting on your stomach as she presses a kiss to your forehead.

"but I am, promise." she responds, deciding to finally pay attention to the film despite her fingers itching to finish her drawing. It was a habit she had picked up during her time with Joel, always sketching little pictures of things she found interesting in the films and writing down quotes she would later recite to the older man whenever there was a chance to reference them. she found herself doing that less nowadays but it was still something she enjoyed doing, especially in special situations like these where it was you she was drawing instead.

as the movie neared it's end, she found that maybe she could appreciate the plot even if it was rather odd in her opinion. your singing had quieted down to small hums as you slowly began to drift off against ellie's chest, the rise and fall of her chest lulling you into a sense of comfort despite your attempts to stay awake until the end of the movie. she would definitely tease you about it tomorrow morning, especially after all the times you swore you'd stay up despite your track record of falling asleep. It was cute, a sweet moment she wouldn't replace with anything in the world.

she brushes a stray strand of hair from your face, a fond look in her eyes at her feather light touch before she carefully reaches for her sketchbook with the hand that wasn't holding you to her.

she flips it open to the page she had been drawing on before scribbling something down in messy handwriting under your portrait.

"Mamma mia, here I go again ,, My, my, how can I resist you?"

it was dumb, and the song didn't necessarily fit the situation, but she knew you'd get a kick out of it the day she'd finally show you the sketchbook filled with pictures of you.

[kumabeom]

saudade love 🫧

pilot ; you’re my lover <3

pairing : actor!soobin and actress!yn

love triangles :(

synopsis : actress!yn and actor!soobin are forced by their companies to date as a publicity stunt to promote their latest releases. however what’s to happen when yn and soobin spend more and more time together even though yn’s closest friend is keeping secrets.

“last question..” the mc announces before letting a reporter take the lead on the final question.

“soobin and yn, throughout the filming process of saudade love. the two of you were rumored to be seeing each other as more than just friends, can we get some kind of response to that ?” the reporter in front of you asks. you and soobin sitting on a theater-like stage, two high chairs next to each other. while on the other side of the stage was the director of saudade love, and a few supporting cast members.

saudade love was the new film that you had just starred in, alongside soobin, who played the main male lead. the plot was a story about yn meeting chaebol soobin. issues arising within yn’s family, which end up harming her relationship with soobin. never being able to get an end to her family’s ruthless behavior towards her, she only seems to find comfort in soobin. soobin, who comes from a wealthy family, is forced into a marriage, any kind of rebellious actions from soobin during the wedding is covered up. soobin ends up giving in, yn ends up even more hurt as it gets harder and harder to keep their secretive relationship as a healthy relationship. however, the two still only seem to feel happy around each other, the only issue being each other’s families. yet it is enough to keep them apart.

you knew that there were going to be issues with your so-called ‘controversial’ ending, since it wasn’t necessarily a happy ending, not many people were too pleased. but there was another majority of people, or rather yours and soobins fans, that enjoyed the movie due to its rawness. not every single relationship was going to end in the most fairytale way. which was exactly what saudade love’s message was trying to deliver, although it seemed to go over others’ heads.

you laugh a bit into the microphone, knowing exactly what you were supposed to do and how your company wanted you to react. taking the microphone up close to your lips, not exactly letting the two touch. you put on a flushed image, as you turn to look to soobin, who also knew his part of the live script the two of you were supposed to follow. his lips turning upwards, attempting to look rather confident about the situation, and it was working.. after all he was an actor.

“me and soobin…” you pause, taking a second to smile to yourself. looking up instead of looking at the crowd full of photographers, reporters, and journalists, a few fans in the crowd as well. “i thought we had announced a response, but i suppose not. me and soobin have been seeing each other. something about us during filming saudade love.. it just seemed to click.. we’re a few dates into our relationship but i hope that everyone will support us and our decision to be together.”

and with that, the crowd cheers, journalists and reporters typing as quick as they can. photographers snapping their pictures to use on articles that are probably being released within the next second. soobin grinned, bringing his mic up to his mouth. the image of two lovestruck actors up on stage manipulating the minds of the entire media. you looked at soobin with a tiny smile on your face. putting your best heart eyes on display.

“i think the people who have seen saudade love will notice, but the love that the two characters display is not something you can act out..” it’s funny, because he’s completely spewing out nonsense. the two of you are just convincing actors, using all the skills you’ve learned to play out your character. “at one point during filming, i stopped thinking of the script and i just started seeing yn as yn, no character or anything. i think our relationship was inevitable. yn was the sweetest person i could ever meet.” that’s a lie, well you weren’t necessarily mean, but the two of you never even spoke outside of necessary means. “i turned to her when i needed help, and she was always there to listen. not to mention, anytime yn was around, i couldn’t help but feel a certain way..” soobin grinned shyly, trying to convince everyone that he was simply too shy to continue on. which worked as majority of the audience were in complete awe.

the mc picks up his own mic, “let’s give a round of applause to our newly discovered couple !!” he pauses letting the crowd take over with their clapping, “since that was our last question, the cast and crew will give their goodbyes now !”

you stood up along with everyone, giving a bow to thank the crowd for their time and attention. afterwards you link pinkies with soobin, attempting to keep up the image of the new shy couple.

release date: july 13, 24’

4th gen it couple ! ; little minions ! ; soobin’s fave brats !

episode 1 : i was hitting my marks !

episode 2 : thinking it can change the beat of my heart when he touches me, counteract the chemistry and undo the destiny.

episode 3 : that’s my girl, y’know what i mean ?

episode 4 : and so it begins..

episode 5 : i’m gonna marry him !

episode 6 : we’ll make it through, just like we always do.

episode 7 : the thing..

episode 8 : the love of my life

episode 9 : red lipstick 💋

episode 10 : i know i shouldn’t

episode 11 : just a coworker

episode 12 : it meant the world

episode 13 : as slow as you’d like.

episode 14 : i just need a little lovin’

episode 15 : sometimes i laugh whenever im sad

episode 16 : late night mascara

episode 17 : i can do it with a broken heart

episode 18 : there’s so much loving we could be making

episode 19 : MY boyfriend

an : AHHHH!! so happy to be back, i feel quite refreshed since im back after seeing txt…. three times 😁😁 BUT im so ready to put out posts, remember how i said i was gonna pre-write ? well that didn’t work out because i had like 0 inspiration, i feel like i work better under pressure…

taglist (send asks !) : @run2seob @soobadooba @mrsyawnzzn @matcha-binz @taehyhunnzly @20crowsinahoodie @lun4kazumii @lunathewritingcat @wonjws @yourenzoo @missychief1404 @304blur @coconutjjun @theycallmelolla @natokkiz @everythingvirgoes @pinkhor1zon @nshitae @damn-u-min-yoongi @jiweok @wonderstrucktae @thing89 @pagetammgyu @virgo-and-libra @blossommi @cheekycountesschoi @taysfairies @20-cms @soobiluvr1205 @bloomngspring @thyunzzn @heeseungspookie @hyunj00

^^^ episode 18 link bc for some reason it won’t let me link the letters

[thewinterpoet2]

ROXANNE

Jake Peralta x Reader

In which the reader is a secret vocalist outside of work as a detective in the 99th precinct, Jake becomes suspicious which leads to feelings rising to the surface.

WARNINGS: Swearing, themes of crime, theft, interrogation.

Word count: 15,654

Y/N~ Your Name

L/N~ Last Name

The first time Jake started to become suspicious of Y/N was on a random Thursday in December.

It was nearing Christmas which meant crime in Brooklyn had reached a new level of stupid, leading every Detective and Beat Cop to internally curse every black Friday sale to hell for eternity.

The squad of the 99th Precinct tended to be divided around the holidays, Boyle sprung into action, in true Boyle fashion, buying ridiculously expensive gifts for, well, everyone.

Santiago spent countless hours writing Christmas cards, and for the fifth year in a row, apologised incessantly to an exhausted UPS driver as she reluctantly returned all her holiday gifts for Captain Holt.

Gina loved Christmas and celebrated, to some, in what would be a very unusual way. But in her defence, setting up a PO box for her fans, meant she could have a very cheap Christmas. Thrifty and entrepreneurial, that's Gina.

Whereas, some members of the squad weren't as keen on Christmas. We know how Jake feels about Thanksgiving and with no suprise, this translates to his views around Christmas, too.

Rosa Diaz, although she hides it very well, spends Christmas with her family every year. Now her sexuality was out in the open, the healing her family went through have led, thankfully, to a much closer relationship. Rosa would never say this out loud, but knowing that they're fighting in her corner, is the best gift she could have ever asked for.

Oh, but if you asked she'd definitely tell you to "Mind your own fucking business before I get involved in yours" and according to her, "you definitely don't want that, do you?"

Jake Peralta was a great detective but a tricky human being. To put it bluntly, Jake hated Christmas. He hated carols, trees, "little scary elves that show up everywhere", and most of all, romcoms. Jake despised hallmark romance films. Was it because he was single for the 8th Christmas in a row? Who could tell, but he'd certainly deny it if anyone had the courage to ask.

Y/N, was definitely the wildcard out of the squad, especially when it came to the holidays. She'd told every detective the same bullshit tale of how she was going back to England to see her family for the holidays, how her least favourite gift is socks, how more than anything she hates carolling. Because, jesus, no one wants to hear her sing!

Detective L/N was a liar, for many reasons. Yes she was from England but she actually didn't mind socks and the biggest lie of all, maybe she'd convinced the detectives they wouldn't want to hear her sing... But her bandmates and their followers definitely did.

See, Y/N wasn't just a Detective, she was a trained singer, performer and songwriter. After work she tended to dodge Shaw's to head to band practice or straight to a gig, not that anyone had figured that out of course.

Not yet anyway.

Tne first time Jake became suspicious of Y/N was on a random Thursday in December.

Jake and Y/N were in the middle of interrogating a perp, nothing too gruesome or inhumane, a couple counts of petty theft and something that would hopefully have led to a new lead about a future bank heist.

William Dobson was his name.

"Why do all these perps have such boring names, why isn't he called Franco Goldminer"

Peralta turned around, slamming an evidence file onto the nearest desk. Y/N looked unamused at the topic of conversation but not surprised, it was Jake after all.

"Because I'm pretty sure 'Franco Goldminer' is A) too obvious for a criminal B) kind of ironic and C) sounds like an idiot that still lives with his mum in his 30s"

Jake's eyes twinkled at her quick and easy retort, not that she'd have seen that of course.

"Nah I stand by it, he's got a dumb name"

Scoffing Y/N stopped reading the provided statement, sighing in conclusion, rubbing her face with her hands,

"So we've got nothing, Jesus."

Peralta let out a sigh of annoyance,

"L/N why don't you go talk to him, I'll watch and see if he opens up to you"

Giving a cheeky grin he continued,

"I would say you could try annoy him into talking but you basically do that anyway"

Slapping his shoulder Y/N walked straight back into interrogation, ignoring his laughter trailing behind her.

William looks up at Y/N, recognition dawning on his face.

Fuck, this wasn't good.

"So Dobson, recount the night of the 16th for me again, seems some details don't match up from the tapes-"

Mid sentence you're cut off,

"Do I know you from somewhere?"

Y/N made a sound of aggravation at being cut off

"Small world, lots of people. Anyway the footage shows a different time to the one you claim you-"

"Roxanne on 5th right?"

Shit, shit, SHIT. Y/N's blood ran cold at the name of the club she performs at, it's nice to meet fans, just not in the middle of an interrogation.

Fuck she had to play this off cool, nochelant, like nothing happened.

"I don't care about your personal life Dobson, you're here because you're a criminal. Distraction techniques won't work with me, I don't recall being your best friend, Sir"

Awesome she thought, professional and managed to get an insult in at the same time.

"aren't you in that ba-"

Slamming her file onto the table

"Jesus give it a rest you don't know me"

Y/N's voice came out high pitched, aggravated and very, well, unlike her. This was enough to peek Peralta's interest from behind the glass, this wasn't the Y/N he knew, his coworker who hated anything boring but rarely took risks.

Hands up in defeat, Dobson backs down and the interrogation continues as it was before, absolutely useless.

What Y/N didn't know is Peralta was on the other side of the glass, a puzzled expression on his face;

This was the day Jake Peralta made it his mission to investigate further.

"Who are you Y/N?" He mumbled.

A few weeks later, Jake stopped going to Shaws with the squad.

This in itself was confusing for his fellow detectives, Boyle was practically heartbroken thinking that he'd done something to scare his best friend off.

This led to Boyle doing everything he could to try and entice Jake to their bar, regardless of how weird it was.

Boyle is Boyle, he's very extra, but he's got such a big heart and that's all that mattered to Jake.

However, Charles' interference was only causing Jake more stress, his plan needed to be a secret to be able to make this work.

It was a Friday night, the day before New Year's Eve. Y/N had requested annual leave tomorrow, something that was rarely granted on holiday's (thanks again New York) Jake managed to find this much out from a single conversation with Gina, oh, and because the holiday schedule was on a public server but that seemed too easy.

If he wasn't suspicious before, he definitely was now, something was in the water and he simply had to know what was going on.

It's not like Jake was OBSESSED with Y/N, he just wanted to know her on a more personal level and she made that incredibly difficult.

"I like to keep myself to myself, work is work, home is home. Keep them separate"

Her beautiful voice repeated the devastating series of words more times than he'd have liked to have heard them. Never. None. No thanks.

He'd invited her to Shaw's so many times he'd lost count, he'd asked if she wanted to watch Die Hard at his apartment, he'd even asked if he could do more overtime so he could spend more time with her. In the 6 years he'd worked with her he'd made absolutely zero progress, it's hard to fancy someone that doesn't acknowledge your existence.

Jake thinks Y/N is perfect.

Plain and simple.

Starring at her, lost in thought. He thinks about her eyes, how he wishes one day she'd look at him with the same love and happiness he looked at her with. He wonders what their kids would look like, okay Jake that's a bit far you're sounding a bit like Charles, he internally scolds himself.

"JAKE" Y/N snapped her fingers to get his attention, a look that can only be described as concern adorning her features.

"Huh? Oh yes, yes. I agree, yes let's do that. Whatever it was you said" He rambled at the speed of light, pretending to have acknowledged the last 20 mins that don't exist in his mind.

A smirk grew on Y/N's face, something he barely saw but made him feel like the room just got 20 times hotter.

"Oh so you were listening, yeah? Fabulous, so we can go ahead and schedule the hip replacement..."

Jake's eyes grew wide, babbling out some incoherent nonsense he managed to find two words; "HIP REPLACEMENT?"

Y/N couldn't hold back anymore and cried with laughter, barely being able to form any words.

"I was talking to you about someone I booked using their need for a hip replacement as an excuse, I joked she could use yours" wiping away tears, Y/N's laughter dies down seeing his daze and confusion.

"Are you okay, Jake?" Starring him down, he does what he does best, panics.

"I have to go" Jake stands up bolts out the room at top speed, leaving a very concerned Y/N.

Y/N has always liked Jake, he's bubbly, silly, but cares so much about everyone in his life, he'd go above and beyond for anyone and that's something you can't buy. She has wanted to let him into her personal life for a while but mixing personal and professional has never worked in her favour so she stops herself from letting things get weird and complicated again. Life is as complicated as she makes it after all.

Tomorrow Y/N's band were performing at Roxanne again for their NYE party, she was debuting the title song of their new cover album. Y/N has always been such a huge Fleetwood Mac fan, so "Go Your Own Way" definitely made the cut, providing, Jamie and Simon (her bandmates) were okay with that of course. She was excited, finally time to let her hair down and shed any stress from work.

Jake, after running out at top speed, took to his phone, made a few calls and booked a table tomorrow night for nine people.

At Roxanne.

Jake, Charles, Rosa, Amy, Terry, Captain Holt, Gina, Sully and Hitchcock.

And Y/N had no idea.

Well, neither did anyone other than Jake. This was going to be interesting.

The morning of NYE came and Y/N was ecstatic, eating breakfast at lighting speed, grabbing a coffee, brushing her teeth and then heading to the subway, felt like seconds. You know what they say, time flies when you're having fun.

Y/N arrived at Roxanne at just gone 1pm and immediately hugged Jamie who gave a huge grin seeing her arrival.

"Hi baby! Don't you look a treat, you excited for later?"

Blushing and hitting his shoulder Y/N laughed at his brash complimenting.

"Yeah, yeah, save it Jame, where's your boyfriend? He better not be hiding, we're fucked without him"

"Right here gorgeous"

Y/N jumped and let out a sharp gasp seeing him right behind her.

"Don't scare me like that, dick!"

Laughing he pulled her into a hug.

"Ready to blow the world away with your pipes tonight angel?"

Laughing gently she said "As ready as I'll ever be, right let's practice idiots. Then we can grab some food before we have to change"

Y/N had her mind free from work and Jake, but for Jake, well that was another story.

To Jake this was a stakeout, he had no idea whether he'd find a Mafia organisation or nothing at all. He phoned up Roxanne to ask about the event but all they said was to "Check the damn website, it's not 1942 anymore" and the website hadn't been updated in months.

Jake was terrified.

An afternoon turned into the evening and soon Y/N was slipping on a red sequined dress, black knee high boots, two lace black gloves, smokey, dark makeup and her hair was in curls, ready to take to the stage.

Roxanne was bustling already and it had only just gone 8, she was on in 30 mins and this was their moment.

Warmed up and excited, adrenaline coursing through her veins, she jumped up and down to hype herself up, she had got this.

Jake on the other hand, was only just getting ready, nothing too extravagant just a classic shirt, no tie and a jacket, but a clean jacket so it counts, right? The table was booked for 9 and he had no idea what was going to happen or what would be uncovered.

5 minutes to their opening call, Jamie, Simon and Y/N were all hugging and hyping up each other, knowing this was going to be the performance of a lifetime.

The crowd are cheering already, the bar is stacked and there's no space in the room, the floor is filled to the brim full of people and the only remaining space is one singular table on the balcony of the club, a reserved sign sitting neatly in the center.

"LADIES, THEYDIES AND GENTLEMEN, TONIGHT WE TAKE YOU INTO THE NEW YEAR IN STYLE, YOU KNOW THEM, YOU LOVE THEM, IT'S 'CRIME ME A RIVER"

Running out onto the stage, the heat from the stage lights hit Y/N and then everything changed, her body felt warm and she'd never felt more comfortable. The first notes started of Go Your Own Way and she took a breath then started to sing.

Loving you

Isn't the right thing to do

How can I ever change things

That I feel?

The crowd scream at the sound of her voice, the sweet melody carrying through the entire club, out the doors, into the night.

If I could

Baby, I'd give you my world

How can I

When you won't take it from me?

Y/N can't help but think about Jake as she sings, music really is true to the heart and god what her heart wants more than anything is him.

You can go your own way

Go your own way

You can call it

Another lonely day

You can go your own way

Go your own way

Jake and the squad pull up to the club, Terry already confused about why they're at such a random location on NYE when they could be at Shaws or "somewhere that doesn't look straight out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show"

Squeezing through the crowd blocking the entrance to the club, Jake heard Amy gasp.

"Oh my god, Jake"

"No fucking way" Rosa chimed in.

"This is unexpected" Gina remarked.

"Terry did not see this coming" Terry exclaimed.

Tell me why

Everything turned around

Packing up

Shacking up is all you want to do

Looking at his shocked colleagues, Jake followed their eyeline to the stage, seeing Y/N he unconsciously held his breath. She looked out of this world, so out of character from the person he shares a desk space with, but at the same time, she'd never looked more, her. His heart beating faster than the beat of the music, he turned to look at the squad once more, seeing Rosa's smirk, Amy's disbelief, Terry's enjoyment, Boyle squealing like a child at Jake's reaction.

"Oh Jakey, I knew you liked her, I knew it, I can't wait to be best man at your wedding" Charles then carried on monologuing but it all drowned out to Jake who only heard Y/N, oh boy, could she sing.

If I could

Baby, I'd give you my world

Open up

Everything's waiting for you

During this moment he imagined Y/N was singing directly to him, his heart fluttered and in that moment he knew he had to tell Y/N, he just had to. Or he'd explode.

You can go your own way

Go your own way

You can call it

Another lonely day

You can go your own way

Go your own way

All the squad started pushing past the crowd to try and get as near to the stage as possible, ignoring their table completely (well apart from Hitchcock and Scully) cheering, dancing and having a great time. Enjoying every second.

On the last note of Y/N's performance she took a breath and basked in the screaming of the crowd.

"THANK YOU! MY NAME IS Y/N AND WE'RE HERE SO YOU CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME, DO WE WANT A GOOD TIME?"

Hearing a scream of "YES" she continued by saying "OKAY SO HERE'S OUR NEXT SONG, THIS ONE IS A BIT DIFFERENT, IT'S MORE OF A POWER BALLED, ARE WE READY?"

But before the first note could be sang Y/N made direct eye contact with Jake, who was fondly shaking his head in disbelief. She smiled widely and blushed a deep red.

She knew they'd talk after, and he did too. But for now she'd show how she loved him by showing him who she really was, Unapologetically and he loved nothing more.

AUTHORS NOTE: Hey guys! I hope you enjoy this fic, might do a part 2, if you want to be added to a taglist or if you want a part 2 full stop please let me know:) unedited so it's definitely not perfect haha. Enjoy!

#jakeperalta #jakeperaltaxreader #brooklyn99 #brooklyn99fanfic #brooklyn99jake #jake #jakeperalta #jacobperaltaxreader #xreader #charlesboyle #rosadiaz #amysantiago #captainholt #terryjeffords #ginalinetti #scully #hitchcock

[redheadspark]

For the Halloween prompts, could you write Azriel with #6 dialogue and #10 action please?

A/N - Awww this is adorable! Thanks for requesting this, anon!

Fool

Summary - Azriel brings you peace after a night of discomfort

Warnings - a hint of angst but mostly fluff

“Don’t you say a word,”

“I didn’t say anything,”

“But you were about to,”

“But I didn’t,”

You huffed and looked at Azriel under you, who was grinning ear to ear at you as you were curled against him, wide awake and showing no ounce of sleepiness in your eyes.   Although you were still shaking like a leaf, thanks to the movie you and Azriel watched on your one night off, Azriel was actually enjoying the sight of his mate being scared shitless from a simple movie.  In fairness, this was Azriel's idea to watch a movie together since he knew you both were strung out from work with The Inner Circle and running an entire city.  But he never thought you would be this scared from a film.

It was both amusing and yet heartbreaking on his end. 

“I would love for this not to leave our apartment,” You said in a calm tone as you were still curled up in a tight ball under the covers.  The Autumn air was coming through the slightly open window to calm your nerves and the fire in the fireplace was about to be extinguished for the rest of the night.  Of course, Azriel would sleep soundly once his head touched the pillow, but you were still wired within your mind.  Usually, you would forget about that kind of movie, but not this one.  Something about this horror flick made you feel on edge and paranoid.   

“Noted, and I won’t say a word,” he replied, then raised a brow at you as he gestured with his chin in the direction of the living room, “But a movie scared you?  Really?  A simple movie?”

“Clearly it was no cheesy movie like you said it was going to be,” You reasoned as you poked his chest with one finger, “You promised me cheesy, and that was not it at all,”

Azriel simply sighed, moving his hands over to smooth over your arms and along your waist to give you some relief as he spoke softly, “I may have fabricated, it merely because I thought you could handle it,”

You scoffed, about to look down at your mate placed a finger under your chin to keep your eyes on him, “You’re like the toughest person I know!  Am I really supposed to believe that a horror film is enough to have you cowering in my lap?”

“I’m not in your lap technically,” You were about to argue as Azriel chuckled, “I was when the movie was on, but not now,”

“That’s fair,” He hummed, then sat up in the bed so fast you thought the sheets that were covering him flew off of him.  He was now sitting against the headboard, the sheet now pooled around his waist to show his bare chest as he then held out a hand for you to take.  You raised a brow, taking his scarred hand in yours.  Azriel guided you to uncurl yourself, your legs stretching out and your arms becoming loose again.  He then pulled you up a bit to straddle him in his lap.  With his arms around your waist to tuck you in close, you eyed him as he tilted his head at you lovingly.  

“It was never my intention to make you scared,” he explained to you as he pushed some of your hair out of your eyes.  You felt his fingers trace along your jawline carefully while you both were watching each other lovingly, “I just wanted to spend more time with you since we’ve been apart for too long.  I wish I could take away the fear you have—“

“Az, honestly it’s okay,” You interrupted him gently as you grinned, “I’m a fool in letting something as simple as a movie scare me like that when I’ve faced the worst foes in real life,”

“You’re not a fool,” He replied as he laced your fingers together.  It made you look down, seeing your joined hands and how you Azriel still had his wedding band on his finger.  Your ring was on the dresser in the jewelry box, a massive gem on the top of the silver band that seemed far too expensive for you to have yet Azriel was convinced it was worthy enough to be on your hand.  You loved his band though: pristine silver with the martial itself enchanted to never fade or rust over time.  

“I’ve known fools, hell I’ve gown up with two of them actually and they ended up being the Commander of the Illyrian Army and the High Lord of our city and Court.  You are not a fool, understand?” He asked you, voice still gentle and kind and yet filled with concern that you had a pinch of doubt about yourself, “You are far from it, actually.  One of the bravest people I have ever known in my life, which makes me lucky to call that brave person my wife and better half,”

To make something as silly and simple as a Halloween movie feel more profound with simple terms of love and affection.  He always had a way to sweep you off your feet, whether it was with his words or with his gestures.  You loved and adored that about him.

“Thank you,” You thanked, seeing him lean in to kiss you on the tip of your nose.

“You never have to thank me for loving you,” He hummed, running his finger along the back of your arms, “Perhaps we can find a way for you to be distracted and to relax.”

You hummed, seeing the look of intrigue on his face as you cocked your head to the side.  His fingers were slowly moving upwards from your arms to your shoulders, making you shiver as he framed your jawline within his palms.  He would leave you in a shiver every single time, whether it was a casual touch of his hand against yours or in a more intimate fashion when it was the two of you alone.  This was just the same, comfort laced with intimacy as his hazel eyes watched your own with love interlaced.

“What do you have in mind, pray tell,” you said in a hum, Azriel biting his lower lip as he leaned forward to be nose to nose with you.

“What if I show you instead?” He asked against your lips.  And that night he did, to which you had one of the best nights of sleep in your life because of Azriel.

The End.

October Prompt Session

[livelaughloveloak]

𓂅 WISHUROSES ⊰ 🎡

𖦹 pairing : earth1610!miles morales x reader

𖦹 summary : random scenarios and headcanons of miles as your boyfriend

𖦹 author's note : y'all I'm literally running out of ideas so I would appreciate it if you guys sent me some requests 😭 btw this isn't proofread

you and him definitely have a snapstreak but it was on accident. he randomly snapped you and you'd snap him back on a daily so now you two are just stuck with a 200+ snapstreak.

he bought you a Polaroid camera for your birthday and you ended up using up most of the film on him.

you have the pictures up on the board hanging up in your room

HE'S A COMPLETE SWEET HEARTTTT through actions or through text he'll show his love for you either way.

you pulled back from the tight hug miles pulled you into and looked up at his face. "miles you have that smug look on your face again." you poked his cheek and laughed. miles gasped and was quick to defend himself although he was in fact smiling like an idiot. "I do not!!"

if he's not busy with spiderman business, school, family problems, or hanging out with you then he's busy texting you instead.

he might go to an advanced private school but he refuses to write sentences properly.

you'd receive messages from him like these

inaminit

whaddup

nuhuh

luv u

wya?

he'll abuse the living hell out of emojis when texting you

"yup 😎😎😎😎😎😎💪💪💪"

"wdym no ☹️☹️😒😒🤨🤨🤨"

omw Mami 😋😋😋🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿

he'll ask you for help when it's washday for his hair. his scalp is sensitive so you make sure to be extra careful

he has your contact saved as mi alma. one time his mom saw the contact name pop up on his phone and questioned him about it. he freaked out and started blabbering nonsense

he tells you stories about his adventures when his uncle aaron was still alive.

he has a picture of you as his wallpaper and a pic of you guys together as his lockscreen

he draws you two matching pfps

will definitely give you a new drawing everytime he can

was sweating bullets when he finally revealed to you that he was spiderman.

the pressure was quickly lifted off of his shoulders once you said that you accepted him and understood.

he's still scared that you'd be his canon event and swears he'll never let you die

"even if I have to destroy this universe as long as you're alive I'll be alright." you pinched his cheek and smiled. "don't be silly miles" a groan escaped his mouth as you giggled. "mami stopppp I'm being serious right now."

he let's you win in games just to see you happy but if it's basketball he's not gonna hold back 😭🙏

has his face buried in your neck while sleeping. he says it's because "I'm cold and you just happen to be warm" but yet again it's the middle of summer.

will be jumping up and down our of joy when you bought him new Jordans for his birthday

he has a bracelet with your name engraved into it and he wears it proudly

his phone album is filled with pictures of you. you and him fight eachother whenever you catch him trying to take a candid 0.5 picture of you

he 100% calls you "my heart"

says the most old man type of comebacks when playfully arguing with you

"yeah well you can go kick rocks!!"

"boohoo buckaroo"

"too bad so sad"

"nuh uh" or in other times "yuh huh"

"whatever pal"

"listen here buddy"

you two wear matching pajamas when you have sleepovers

don't get me started on this man and saying the "rizz" jokes...

"rizzanator is what I am"

"let's have a rizz off"

"call me the rizzmaster"

he'll airdrop you the most random memes and burst out laughing when seeing your reaction

he gifted you a promise ring with both of your initials engraved into it as an anniversary gift

miles won you a teddy bear in a fair and now you both call it your "child"

don't expect to get a warning because miles will randomly FaceTime you out of nowhere.

he'd give you a spiderman suit so you could match with him

when you first met his mom she liked you without hesitation and asked to take a picture with you. she made miles take the picture 😭

overall a sweet guy and will give you the princess treatment you deserve!!

﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉

July 4, 2023 | All rights reserved to @livelaughloveloak • Do not repost, reupload, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own. ✮

art in the polaroids are made by purpletunabread on twitter and koscribbls on instagram

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 26

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military Universe

Words: 5k

TW: Violence

Masterlist

———————————————————————

 Wednesday, December 23; 8:00 PM - Home

A few days have passed since I returned to Barcelona. I’ve never enjoyed a vacation so much. There hasn't been a single moment of boredom. Mapi has practically been living at my place since I got back. As usual, her parents are off living their own lives without her, so she’s living hers without them. Sunday was fantastic. Joan was over the moon when we took him to the amusement park. He hadn’t realized I’d be staying for two whole weeks, so when he understood I’d be here longer than usual, he was ecstatic.

I haven’t told him yet that I’ll be leaving earlier for New Year’s, but he’ll probably be too busy to notice. As always, my mom and Marcus will take him to celebrate New Year’s with friends who have a child his age. In any case, I’ll make a resolution to keep in touch with him more regularly. He’s missed me so much that she hasn’t left our side even once. Not during our movie and TV marathon on Saturday, not during our day at the skate park the next day, and especially not when we went to the ice rink. Those were incredible days.

Today, we decided it would be a relaxation day. Joan is at a friend’s house, so we spent our morning at the beauty salon. We got waxed and had our nails done for Christmas Eve. My family will be coming over tomorrow. I usually take care of myself, but this time we wanted to be pampered. Well, it was mainly Mapi who was dying for it. She couldn’t let go of the idea. So, I sucked it up and wore clothes that didn’t require me to undress completely. She’s lucky I appreciate the results. We continued the day with lunch at a restaurant in town, and then we went to the pool. It was so much fun. It seems like it just opened, so there weren’t many people, and we could relax as we should.

Now, here we are, standing in line for the cinema. It must be around 8:00 PM. It’s a way to do something relaxing without being cooped up in my room. I found out while she was in the shower that she’s been harassed by Ana. Apparently, Ana is sorry and wants Mapi back. I was relieved to see she hadn’t responded to any of the texts, but also slightly hurt that she hadn’t told me. I respect her silence, though. I haven’t brought it up with her, afraid she might shut down. That doesn’t stop me from being a good friend. I noticed she’s been glancing at her phone whenever she gets the chance today. I sense she’s about to crack, so I’ve done everything in my power to keep her busy. It’s clear she’s not doing as well as she pretends, although I imagine our days full of activities help her not think about it.

It’s time to pay for our tickets. I don’t even know what movie we’re going to see. I let Mapi choose since I haven’t been keeping up with new releases while I was at Camp Wiegman. We have similar tastes, so I’m not worried. Mapi insists on stopping by the concession stand for some popcorn. I take the opportunity to grab a drink, which she ends up getting too. We then have our tickets validated and head into our theater. We’re half an hour early, so I’m not surprised to find the place empty. We settle in a corner at the top. Mapi is never quiet during a movie, no matter where we are. She has the annoying habit of commenting on every action. Needless to say, it annoys everyone around us. It used to irritate me too, but over time, I started commenting with her. We’ve gotten to the point where if we’re watching a movie at home, we pick one we’ve already seen to make sure we understand the content.

I still make the effort to go to the movies with her, thinking I can always rewatch the film online if it seems good. It reminds me that Lucy had offered to lend me some movies, but she never did. I doubt she remembers. That conversation must have been over a month ago. I feel a pang of guilt, realizing I haven’t written to her since returning to Miami. Then again, she hasn’t written to me either. After all, she’s just my supervisor; I shouldn’t worry. She’s made it clear more than once that we can’t be friends while I’m her student.

"Isn’t that Miller and Bryan down there?" Mapi asks me.

I scan the area, looking for two heads that could be our friends. I smile when I spot them a few rows below us, completely on the opposite side. It’s impossible for them to see us. I notice their little gestures of affection, which are so cute.

"Yeah, it looks like it."

"Should we call out to them? I mean, we could see them at the same time."

"They’re on a date, leave them alone. We’ll catch up with them after the movie."

Mapi nods in agreement. The lights dim shortly after. To be honest, I’m still having a hard time seeing them as a couple, but they’re so adorable. To think that a few years ago, it was us as a couple and them as best friends. At least Mapi and I were lucky not to lose each other. She clumsily apologized for kissing me spontaneously. I couldn’t blame her for needing affection. Few people manage to stay on good terms with their ex, but I’m glad we did. She was my rock back then, and I won’t forget what she did for me. My feelings were mixed when we first reconnected, but I quickly pushed them aside, realizing it wasn’t mutual anymore. I never knew if that was truly the case, but I guess she was just protecting herself.

The ads fade away, and the movie begins. As I predicted, Mapi comments on every action, but today it’s a bit different. She also starts complimenting the women in the film. She seems to find them beautiful and amazing She’s lucky I’m  lesbianand find some truth in her words; otherwise, I’d get bored quickly. I join in, telling her my preferences. I’ve always preferred brunettes, even dark-haired ones,I find them more attractive and mysterious.

“Tell me an actress you find hot.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Just because. Someone you’d want in your bed.”

“I don’t want anyone in my bed.”

“You know exactly what I mean! Like if you had the chance to go on a date with an actress... Or a celebrity, whatever. Who would you choose?”

“Your question is really dumb.”

“Come on, play along. Give me a name.”

I think about it, running my hand through my hair. I have no idea. I don’t have a favorite actress or anything like that.

“I don’t know. Mila Kunis?” I say randomly.

“Mila Kunis?” she repeats. “Hmm… Not bad, true. Does she look like Bronze?”

I roll my eyes. And there she goes again, bringing up the subject. I don’t know what’s gotten into her with Lucy lately, but she keeps asking me questions about her.

“No,” I shut down.

“Oh, sorry. It’s just that I wonder what she looks like. I have the right to be curious. Here, compare her to Mila Kunis so I can get an idea.”

I can’t believe it when she pulls up a picture of the actress on her phone. I already know she won’t leave me alone until she gets her answers. I sigh and look at the photo carefully to make a comparison.

“Lucy has a much finer nose and much fuller lips. As for her eyes, they’re almond-shaped and green, much more sparkling than the dark eyes Mila Kunis has in this picture. And her hair leans more towards a brown shade than black.”

Mapi nods seriously. She seems to be creating an image of my supervisor in her head. Her silence makes me wonder if I went too far with my details. I realize just how much I’ve observed her to know so much about her appearance. She finally turns to me with a small smile forming on her lips.

“She must be cute.”

“She is.”

“Is she taller than you?”

I think back, trying to recall moments that might give me an answer to this question. I nod eventually.

“Yeah. But only by a few centimeters.”

“So, you claim you’re not interested in her, but you can tell me details like that about her?”

A smug smile spreads across her face, and I realize my mistake. I knew it was a bad idea to tell her all that.

“You’re exasperating, Mapi.”

“And yet, I didn’t even point out that you called her Lucy. So that’s her little name?”

I groan at her teasing. I slowly run my hand over my face to avoid losing my temper.

“Where’s her part in her hair?”

“Mostly in the middle, but sometimes she moves it to the left side.”

The words slip out before I can hold them back. I’m surprised myself at how easily I answered. How did I retain such subtle information about her? Damn brain. Mapi mocks me without restraint.

“Just as I thought.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Oh, no, not at all,” she smiles foolishly.

“Yeah, whatever,” I mumble. 

I sink into my seat, crossing my arms, clearly upset that my mind could betray me like that. How did I answer so instinctively? Lucy is my supervisor. Sure, she’s beautiful and attractive, but that doesn’t mean I’m interested.

Mapi tries to insist one more time, but she’s met with "shhhhht" sounds from all around. I think we’ve reached our chatter limit. It doesn’t seem to calm Mapi, who starts laughing at every scene that’s even slightly funny. No matter how much I ask her to calm down, it feels like she’s doing it on purpose to annoy our neighbors. They’re starting to get really angry, but fortunately, the movie is coming to an end. I wouldn’t have bet on our safety if it had lasted any longer. We hurry out of the theater as soon as the credits roll to avoid facing the hateful glares of the other viewers. Sometimes I wonder if we’re really civilized. Right now, I’d say no. I instantly regret our rush when we run into the one person we would’ve wanted to avoid on this earth. Mapi instinctively takes a defensive stance in front of me. Feli doesn’t take her eyes off me for a second, as if I’m the only one there.

- "Ona-..."

- "Don’t talk to her," Mapi interrupts in a sharp tone.

- "That’s not for you to decide."

- "Forget it. Let’s go, Mapi..."

I grab her arm, and I couldn’t say if it’s to pull her away with me or to stop her from doing something she might regret—or not. Mapi stays rooted to the spot, glaring daggers at my ex. I can understand her urge to tear her apart for what she did, right here and now. However, this is neither the time nor the place. All I want is to get out of here. I realize that’s not her intention when she violently shakes off my grip.

- "Get out of the way," she growls.

- "No," she says, stepping forward. "You know, Ona... I thought I’d see you again after what I injected you with."

A shiver runs down my spine as she admits this, never taking her eyes off me. No... I can’t believe it. She didn’t just say that.

- "I’m disappointed to see you in such a normal state..."

I feel myself wavering as she manages to slip past Mapi’s defenses to stroke my hand. Her gesture, which should be gentle, sends me spiraling back into a whirlpool of memories. I’m disconnected from my senses until Mapi’s fist slamming into Feli’s face brings me back to reality. Her punch is so powerful that she crashes to the ground, her mouth agape.

- "That’s for what you did to my best friend. And this is for sleeping with my girlfriend, you bitch!"

Her words are followed by a kick to her stomach. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mapi this angry. I’m so caught up in the scene that I jump when an arm wraps around my shoulders. I struggle against the unexpected contact, but calm down when I see Bryan by my side. Meanwhile, Miller is grabbing my best friend by the waist, pulling her away from Feli before the situation escalates further. Security has been called. They arrived just in time to restrain my ex, who was about to fight back. The guys managed to defuse the situation by announcing our departure. However, Mapi isn’t willing to leave it at that.

"Don't let her go!" she spits out. "She's gone mad, and she's stalking my friend. She even just admitted in front of everyone that she drugged her to get her back! You better not let her follow us, or I'll press charges against you!"

"Mapi, that's enough," says Miller, trying to calm her down.

"No, it's not enough! That bitch deserves what’s coming to her!"

"Let's just leave, please."

Bryan nods and leads me towards the exit. Thankfully, Miller is strong enough to drag Mapi out with us after apologizing to the officers. I'm struggling to process the whole encounter. It feels like I'm in shock. Mapi keeps cursing under her breath to vent her frustration, which isn't helping me pull myself together. If the guys hadn't intervened, things could've gone really wrong. It's only when we get outside that Mapi notices my state. She immediately pulls me into her arms.

"Are you okay?" she murmurs.

I want to answer her, but no words come out. I try to nod to reassure her, but it’s all lies. Feli drugged me. She really drugged me to make me relapse. How can I be okay? I can't even tell if she went further because I have no memory of it. For all I know... No, I don't even want to think about it.

"How about we forget this whole incident by grabbing a drink?" Miller suggests. "We wanted to catch up, so now's the time."

Mapi agrees without consulting me, so I have no choice but to go along. Miller drives us there in his car. Mapi and I are in the back. She's set her anger aside to try to lift my spirits. It's a lost cause, but I appreciate the effort. When we get to the bar, I wait just long enough to order a drink before excusing myself. I need to be alone and get some air. Mapi didn’t want to let me go out alone, but Miller convinced her. I couldn’t be more grateful. I sit on the curb once outside, burying my head in my arms to collect my thoughts. The evening has gone by too fast. I can't fully grasp everything that happened. After a while, I pull my phone out of my pocket and fidget with it, debating whether to call her or not. I realize I should've done it days ago. I muster up the courage to do it now. One ring... Two... Three... My heart stops when the beeping ends.

"Hello?"

Her voice echoes in my head. I can't find the words to speak. My lower lip trembles so much it affects me. I never thought hearing her voice would make me feel so relieved.

"Ona?" she presses, sensing my silence.

I let my head fall back into my arms as a sob escapes, one I can't hold back. Why do I always turn to her only when I’m not okay? She deserves so much better, even if she doesn’t want me as a friend.

"I'm sorry for calling so late..." I say between sniffles.

« It’s not late in Manchester " she replies calmly. "What's going on?"

"No... I—We’re halfway through the week... I- I should’ve called you much sooner," I murmur.

"It doesn’t matter, as long as you're okay. But you're not, are you?"

"I'm sorry for only talking to you when I need something," I say, choking up.

"Hey, that’s not true, and you know it."

"Yes, it is!" I cry out.

"Don’t raise your voice like that," she scolds me.

"S-sorry... I-I shouldn’t have."

She sighs long and hard, making me cry even harder. I feel so pathetic. I shouldn’t have called her now. I couldn’t even talk to Mapi, so there’s no way I’d be able to do it with Lucy either. I should've waited until I was more composed.

"Hey, Ona. I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to tell me something. Anything," she orders sternly.

"You don’t have the right to give me orders from afar," I say, managing a weak smile.

I joke to lighten the mood. I hear her laugh, which warms my heart. I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand and tighten my jacket, remembering I’m wearing hers. I couldn't find one that suited me when we were at the mall. I guess it’s because I’m already too attached to this one.

"I have every right over you. Have you forgotten?"

"It seems I have," I murmur.

"Enough joking... You didn’t call for no reason, did you?"

I groan, shaking my head. I feel foolish now that she's voicing the truth. I would've hung up a long time ago if I were her.

"Come on, spill it. You wouldn’t have called if you didn’t need to."

I rest my head on my arm, thinking for a moment. I do need this, that’s for sure, but how do I say it without breaking down completely? A silence falls between us that neither of us breaks. She’s waiting for an answer.

"It’s her..." I finally whisper.

"Her? You’ll have to be clearer if you want me to understand anything," she chuckles.

"Feli, my ex, the junkie. S-she’s the one who drugged me the other night. W-We ran into her with Mapi, and she admitted it. I—"

"Hey, calm down. Why are you reacting like this? Isn’t this supposed to be good news?" she asks. "It proves it wasn’t you who did it. That’s what you wanted to know, right? I think it’s a good thing. You didn’t relapse on your own."

How does she manage to find something positive in this mess?! I’m tearing my hair out, tormented. I know she's trying to reassure me, but she’d change her tune if she knew how seeing him again affected me. She can't know because she doesn’t know what he put me through.

"Well... If you say so..."

"Come on, dry your tears. You look so much cuter with a smile on your face."

She’s really trying to cheer me up. I smile timidly and run my fingers under my eyes to wipe away the black streaks of makeup that have probably run.

"So, how’s your vacation going, besides all that?" she suddenly changes the subject.

"Good... I’m enjoying it like you advised me to. And you?"

"Same here. I’m seeing my family and leaving for Portugal early tomorrow morning for a few days."

"You’re so lucky. I wish I could go back there too..."

"I can imagine. How’s Mapi? Is she doing better?"

"Yeah, she’s okay. We’re spending all our days together."

"Do you already have plans for New Year’s?"

"Yeah, I’m heading back to Manchester early. Leah and Alessia are hosting a party at their place."

"Oh. So Mapi agreed then."

"Yeah, it’ll be good for her to get a change of scenery. It was either that or we’d spend the night alone at my place."

"I see," she laughs. "That wouldn’t be the worst thing either."

"For you, maybe, but definitely not for Mapi. She’s never experienced anything like that at home."

"That’s a shame. Do you already know where you’ll be staying before school starts again?"

I stay silent. Honestly, I haven’t thought about it. Lucy laughs heartily. I hide my smile, rubbing my cheeks against the sleeves of my jacket. Damn. I’ve missed hearing her laugh so much.

"You haven’t thought about it, have you?"

"Not really, no," I admit with flushed cheeks. "I guess I’ll try to negotiate a spot with the Leah and Alessia, and if they can’t put me up, I’ll get a hotel room."

"A hotel?" she scoffs. "Don’t be silly. If you really have nowhere to stay, let me know, okay?"

"Oh no, don’t worry. I’ll manage."

"I’m serious. I’m not going to let you stay on the streets. Knowing you, you’d get lost."

"Ha ha ha, very funny!" I laugh sarcastically.

"It’s true," she giggles. "By the way, where are you? I can hear cars passing by."

"In the street, outside," I say with a smile, knowing how she’ll react.

"Excuse me?"

I can picture her frowning with a stern look on her face. Why am I still smiling like an idiot? Lucy must have this effect on me.

"I’m in the street, outside a bar," I repeat.

My smile widens even more. She’s definitely going to scold me. I start an unconscious countdown in my head. I reach zero just as she raises her voice through the phone.

"You’ve got to be kidding me!"

"No."

"Oh, so let me get this straight. One bad moment, and you’re ready to get wasted? If that’s your plan, you’d better head home!"

"Relax, I’m not alone. Mapi’s with me."

"And that’s supposed to make me feel better?" she grumbles. "She was with you last time too!"

I laugh, realizing she’s right. That night, she left me for her girlfriend, and she wasn’t in any better shape than I was. I don’t think Lucy noticed when she had her on the phone. If she had, she wouldn’t have trusted her to get me home. One thing I know is that I did the right thing by calling her. Without her, I would’ve ended the night with a brain in pieces.

"I’m with two other friends. I don’t intend to drink. If I did, I wouldn’t be sitting on the curb talking to you. I’d be inside drinking."

"Hmm," she says, skeptical. "You’d better text me every five minutes to update me on your sobriety once this call is over."

"If you want," I say with a smile. "Aren’t you going out tonight?"

"No. I have to get up early, so I’m enjoying a quiet evening in my apartment."

"Oh, I’m bothering you then."

"Don’t be ridiculous. I’m happy to talk to you."

"Oh really...? Me too," I admit. "I never thought I’d miss your bossy attitude this much. I keep thinking about what you’d say when I’m in an awkward situation," I chuckle.

"It’s been a while since you’ve called me that. I hope you’re at least listening to that little voice if you’re hearing it."

I hold back a laugh. If she knew all the trouble Mapi has gotten me into... I’d end up doing more than just laps.

"Come on, you have to tell me all the nonsense you’ve been up to now."

I finally laugh softly. My long silence must have given me away.

"No, it’s better not to."

There’s a silver lining to the distance after all. She can’t reach me, let alone intimidate me with her eyes and gestures.

"I’m not kidding. If you come back as that little kid from the very beginning, you’re going to hear from me."

"Hey!" I exclaim, offended. "That girl is long gone."

"Hmm, she’d better be."

I jump when a hand lands on my shoulder. I look up to see that it’s just Mapi. She’s leaning her head to the side with a small smile. I relax my muscles and timidly return her smile.

"Feeling better? You seemed really upset when you came out."

"Yeah... I’m feeling better," I reassure her without taking the phone from my ear.

"Who’s on the phone? Is it the person who managed to bring that smile back to your face?"

"Hmm," I shrug. "It’s Bronze."

I instantly regret being honest when I see a dreamy smile appear on her lips. I’ve just fueled her imagination. Those mental movies of hers won’t be going away anytime soon

- "Hey, I thought I told you not to use my name anymore," comments Lucy through my phone with a hint of playfulness.

- "I'll call you whatever I want!"

- "What does your boss want?" asks Mapi.

- "Nothing. How's your hand?" I ask, noticing an ice pack on her fist.

- "Hurts, but it was worth it," she giggles.

Both of them start talking at the same time, as if they're having a conversation with each other even though they can't hear each other. I don't know where to turn my head. I can't even decipher their words. I groan as I run my hand over my eyes.

- "For heaven's sake, shut up!" I groan.

I open my eyes again when the silence finally falls. I glance at my best friend, who is staring at me with wide eyes.

- "Thank you," I sigh. "How's your hand?" I finally ask Mapi, noticing the ice pack on her fist again.

- "Hurts, but it was worth it," she giggles.

- "Thanks again..."

- "It's normal," she smiles softly. "Well, I'm going home. Don't stay out too late."

I nod as I watch her go back inside. I groan, massaging my temples. I hope she won't be too upset with me for raising my voice.

- "You guys just gave me a headache."

- "At least now you know how it feels when you drive me crazy," Lucy giggles.

- "Are you kidding? I've never yelled in your ears, and I'm not that crazy!"

- "Oh yes, you were! At least, you used to be," she giggles. "You still have your moments, but now I find it adorable as long as you don't overdo it."

- "Oh, come on," I mumble, hiding my blush.

- "The worst was during exam revision when you wouldn't let anyone say anything to you."

- "Hey! Sometimes it was worth it, I was right!"

- "It only happened once!"

- "Once, but that question was on the exam! Believe me, I answered it correctly."

- "Well, good for you, if you can remember things like that."

- "Yeah."

- "Okay, I'm going to let you go; you must be expected. Enjoy your evening, but not too much."

- "Already?"

I have a hard time hiding my disappointment. I would have preferred to spend the evening talking to her. Am I crazy for wanting that?

- "Yes," she laughs. "Enjoy your time with your friends. We'll have plenty of time to talk when you get back. And don't forget to moderate, or even avoid alcohol, okay?"

- "I'm twenty, Luce. I can moderate myself."

- "Hmm, you never know.The past proved me wrong."

- "Not here. Do you have Snapchat?"

- "Snapchat? Why are you asking?"

- "If you give it to me, I could send you pictures of my drinks to make sure I'm not drinking."

- "Of course," she laughs. "Even if you send me a picture of a soda, who’s to say you haven't mixed it with vodka? I'd need to smell the drink instead, don't you think?"

- "As far as I know, there's no app that can do that yet."

- "You're silly," she giggles. "Okay, I'm letting you go. Don't forget I want texts. I wouldn't want you to do something stupid again."

- "I promise. Goodnight, Lucy."

- "Goodnight to you too, Ona. Don't stay out too late."

I put away my phone after we hang up. Now that I'm alone again, all my thoughts come flooding back. I sigh as I stand up. I pat my jeans to get rid of any dirt that might have clung to them. My butt is cold now from sitting on the ground. That wasn't very smart of me. I look at my phone, which is already vibrating. I smile when I see the handle, which I guess is her Snapchat: LBronze22. Wow, I can't believe it! I didn't expect to get it. My request was just a joke. I could know her whole life if she posts stories regularly. Then again, it's not impossible that she might block me too. I add her immediately on the app, then I head back inside. They're talking about the couples that formed among the people who were with us in high school. The room goes quiet when I sit down.

- "Don't stop on my account," I say.

- "How are you feeling?" Miller asks me.

- "Better. I just needed to step out."

I catch Mapi's smug smile, which I quickly avoid. She can smile all she wants because I do feel better thanks to Lucy. Thinking of her, I decide to kick off the fun by sending her a picture of my glass of soda. I caption it saying it's my one and only drink. I also take the initiative to write her a message, as she asked me to do regularly. I force myself to join the conversation to reassure my friends. I ask about some people I liked back then. The evening continues here for another good hour. I kept texting Lucy discreetly so as not to attract Mapi's attention. We decide to leave the bar around half past midnight. When I told Lucy, she seemed happy that I was being reasonable for once. Our last message exchange happens just as Miller drops us off at my place. We wished each other goodnight. I didn't want to bother her any longer, and besides, I planned to go to bed once I was in my room. I go to the bathroom first, then I join Mapi. Unlike the past few nights, it's Mapi's turn to hold me as we sleep. That's why I adore her. I don't need to talk or pretend with her. She knows me too well for that. Luckily for me, sleep caught up with me before I reached the point of insomnia.

[boku-no-anime-phase]

🚨 MOVIE ALERT: 🚨

Satoshi Kon's Paprika and Tokyo Godfathers are both free to watch legally on YouTube right now!

Paprika is a surrealist action film about dreams that inspired Inception. It is absolutely excellent (although I strongly recommend you check the content and rating to make sure it's something you're comfortable with; they rated this R for a reason).

Tokyo Godfathers i haven't seen yet, but it's about this group of homeless people who find an abandoned baby on Christmas Eve. It is apparently very sweet and I'm looking forward to watching it!

Kon's other films include Millennium Actress and Perfect Blue.

Millennium Actress is phenomenal as well (and is available to watch on Crunchyroll right now) - it's a very cool surreal retelling of a fictional famous actress' life, and a meditation on how love drives us. (A few more thoughts on it on a different alt here.)

Perfect Blue I haven't seen yet, but I've heard it's amazing and also horrifying; and I've heard that like with Paprika:Inception it directly inspired one or two popular live action Western movies. As far as I can see, right now you'd have to rent it to watch it.

Anyway, go forth and jump into some great anime!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

One small pet peeve I have about Chapter 7 is that it's making Maleficent look like "a victim." This is a personal thing but I always considered the Evil Queen to be Disney's most evil villain, but the title has Maleficent being considered "evil incarnate." And I understand, she has powers and transforms into a dragon. What a cool thing. But on several occasions I feel that content creators who partly work for Disney do not respect that she is an evil being and end up softening her character, either giving her a tragic background or making her a mother. Going back to TWST, the part that bothers me the most is right at the beginning of the chapter, when Yuu dreams about Maleficent and the only option to choose implies that they feel bad for Maleficent for not being invited. And it's like WHAT? Didn't you see that she cursed a baby? Or better yet, why didn't you feel bad for the other villains? And seeing the theories of the most recent update, with the inclusion of the senate and seeing that almost the entire fandom hates them, it makes Maleficent's descendants seem more like victims (which they partly are). Sorry, this is something personal that I wanted to share with someone. But in conclusion, no other medium outside of the original film can well portray Maleficent as the embodiment of evil that she is supposed to be. And yes, I know the Draconia family is not Maleficent but they are still related.

Disclaimer: I’m coming at this from the POV of someone who has no attachment to Maleficent as a character and is frankly confused as to why she’s the Big Bad that Disney chooses to promote as their villainous icon 🤡 so take my opinion with a grain of salt!🧂

To quickly correct something before the discussion: Malleus being a relative or a descendant of Maleficent is NOT canon. It is a popular headcanon, especially during the early days of the TWST fandom when we didn’t have a lot of lore about the Draconia family. From the way Malleus speaks about the Thorn Witch, she is considered a separate ancient entity and not someone he personally knows or has blood ties with.

Knowing that, it somewhat detracts from the points made in this ask 😅 since it seems like the Anon was trying to draw a parallel between Maleficent and Malleus… Conflating Maleficent with Malleus may be the result of mixing up the dreams with the differing mediums and presentations of Maleficent and Malleus in the context of their own works. I feel they can be treated like two entirely separate cases, and with different intentions behind them.

Maleficent has been written as a tragic antihero in the live action movie(s) of the same name. That is one interpretation of her, just as the Descendants Maleficent is much goofier in attitude. They are Disney’s properties and so they are free to twist Maleficent however they wish to suit the circumstances or to chase a modern trend of redemption, even if it’s different than the “mistress of evil” she was introduced as. In my opinion, there is nothing inherently wrong with this (although that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to enjoy or to agree with every iteration of Maleficent or the new direction she’s being led in). This doesn’t automatically make her a “victim” (for lack of a better term) either, she feels more… “girlboss” to me, if that makes sense?? Tragic things do happen to her, but they don’t define Maleficent as an individual (if I recall correctly, she acts on her own and rises up + regains power in spite of humans hating her). I think it’s just a different way to spin a story. However, I can see why maybe this doesn’t bode well to some people who like her for being evil and not for being redeemable.

Malleus is the “final boss” of a gacha game. The intention behind his design is to endear the players to the character so they’re willing to roll for him. That’s why Malleus in particular has a “special” role compared to the other boys, and why they try to establish a friendship with Yuu early on in the main story. He is treated differently in the narrative because of that. We may not necessarily like it or find the method effective, but that’s the design TWST went with. (I’m personally not a fan of this either, it grants Malleus specifically a lot of grace and favoritism that I’m not on board with 😅)

I also want to point out that when the other villains were introduced in Yuu’s dreams, it’s not really in situations that would immediately warrant sympathy. The Queen of Hearts is unreasonably mad, the King of Beasts is plotting against his brother, etc. It’s not that Yuu doesn’t “feel bad” for the others, it’s that the others didn’t give Yuu anything to “feel bad” about right away. For the dream with Maleficent, it’s different: Yuu first learns that she is “unwanted” and THEN she casts her magic. Yuu then fixates on the reason behind Maleficent’s curse (because at this point in the story, we’ve seen 6 cases of how one’s motivations and past fuel one’s actions in the present). The other villains don’t get similar scenes or lines to show off the potential reasoning behind their behaviors (no showing of how the Queen of Heart’s rule benefits her people, no jeering at Scar, etc.) so of course Yuu won’t be as gracious about them.

We should also consider that each of these dreams is prophetic and ties back to the current OB boy’s troubles. In Malleus’s case, loneliness is a huge issue and he’s been Yuu’s “friend” since book 2. These will naturally play into Yuu feeling more sympathy towards Maleficent, who resembles Malleus and is left out like he is. The other OB boys didn’t have this “special” connection, and their issues don’t center so strongly on wanting companionship. If you refer back to Yuu’s dreams of each villain, Yuu’s reactions to each reflect the ongoing dilemma of each boy and their dorm mates, such as wondering why the card soldiers don’t intervene and not understanding why Scar used the methods he did.

That being said, I’m not sure if I agree with the use of “victim” to describe the Draconias. The term’s definition varies by person (and I’m not sure what the asker’s own definition is, so there may be some disagreement here), but personally I see “victim” as a binary. It puts one person in a weak and passive position—with them being the one acted on—and the other person in a position of power—the one doing the acting. It creates an easy “us vs them” narrative. I don’t believe this is the case for any of the TWST characters; to call them “victims” implies a lack of agency to act and a clear good vs evil worldview.

Back to the Draconias. Yes, bad things have happened to them and some of those bad things were the result of the senate’s decisions. That doesn’t make the Draconias (or even Maleficent, in my opinion) “victims”, and certainly not “victims” to the senate alone. There are so many other factors to consider in Malleus being isolated and turning out the way he did. These include, but are not limited to: Maleficia being too busy to spend time with him, his parents being absent, Malleus still managing to meet and interact with Lilia anyway, Malleus himself being so powerful/high status he scares his servants and peers, royals having duties to tend to and thus limited freedoms, previously existing tensions with humans, etc.

TWST does do a lot to make you feel bad for and to pity Malleus. From the moment we first saw him, the “loneliness” of Malleus was a major part of his character. Many factors outside of his control compounded as an unfortunate situation that… wasn’t very conducive for him to grow up feeling normal and loved. It’s not that he was just now made a “victim”, it’s that we’re now getting all the context for why his character is the way it is—and it’s a whole slew of traumas and personal experiences. I would argue the same happens for all the OB boys; this isn’t something exclusive to twisted Maleficent, Malleus. TWST is trying to present these issues with more nuance than the classically evil G7 they were inspired by; the OB boys in general they aren’t defined by their “victimhood, but rather how they respond to and cope with those experiences.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

A raggedy Ann/Andy reader sounds fun with some characters from the Barbie movie! A rag doll is a doll after all they just have more things they can do like being very flexible

Ohh I love raggedy ann! Tbh I've had a hc that other dolls/action figures can also inhabit Barbieland if their owner played with them alongside their Barbie toys.

They're rare but they do coexist with the Barbies and Kens!

........

Stereotypical Barbie (Ann!Reader)

At first, learning that a new type of doll was living in Barbieland bewildered her.

You're not like any Barbie she's ever seen before, with you being made entirely of cloth with yarn hair and a triangular nose.

Given how you've been around since 1915, you're stunned by how far dolls have evolved since then.

You're well-liked among the Barbies, although of course many of them had questions about what you could do as a rag doll.

For starters, your plastic-free body gives you more flexibility and freedom they couldn't even imagine having.

You never have to worry about breaking anything!

While you're susceptible to tearing, you know how to sew yourself back up.

Does it scare Stereo!Barbie sometimes when you suddenly produce a needle to fix a loose stitch in your arm? Sure.

But she's extremely accepting and welcoming.

She even invites you to sleepovers during girls' night where you learn more about the Barbies and listen to their gossip.

When she starts having her existential problems, you let her hug you and reassure her she's still the prettiest doll you've ever had the honor of meeting.

Beach Ken (Andy!Reader)

He doesn't usually pay much attention to other dolls aside from Stereotypical Barbie (and occasionally his buddy Allan).

But seeing a new non-Mattel doll enter the scene did pique his interest! Especially since you were the first to ask him why he was staring at her.

He always wonders what your job is...even though you're constantly reminding him you're just a kid.

When he eventually gets it, he'll try to show you the ropes of Beach, trying to act like a cool older brother figure(tm).

Part of him hopes that Barbie will see how sweet he is with kids and another hopes it'll make the other Kens jealous that they're not friends with a cool doll like yourself.

However like Film!Andy you do have a feisty attitude, always rolling your eyes when you see him gushing over her and making a fool out of himself.

Sometimes you think he's trying too hard to impress her.

Yet you have a softer side that comes out after Barbieland is taken back by the girls, and you comfort Ken by saying you did like all the cowboy stuff he brought back (and only the cowboy stuff).

You made the mistake of asking him about horses as he just infodumps random facts for the next ten minutes.

But you finally accepted him as your brother.

Weird Barbie (Ann!Reader)

When you first appeared in Barbieland, you were confused as to why all the dolls here weren't made of cloth like you.

You felt like you were misplaced, and eventually learned about Weird Barbie and sought advice from her.

She explains that your owner in the real world must've either played with you alongside their Barbie toys or shelved you in a collection of them.

Regardless, she assures you it's not a rare phenomenon and it's nothing to freak out over.

You just so-happened to be closer to Barbieland society than most non-Mattel dolls.

She lets you crash at her place anytime you want, and you get to meet all the other outcasted/discontinued dolls who lived with her.

They're curious about you and love how you're flexible enough to do just about anything!

If any of them are feeling sad, you'll give them hugs that help them feel better instantly.

Weird Barbie thinks you're cool 100%.

Plus, you're nice and clearly had manners as you didn't call her "weird" behind her back or to her face.

[technically-a-kiwi]

Okay guys, time to correct and rewrite some stuff about the cosmic AU

I've read my older post developing on the story and this was basically my reaction

So yeah my older posts are full of off details and inconsistencies, brace yourself for some redcons and new concepts

Starting with :

Redcons:

• Cosmic entities are allowed to interact with other mortals ,because I'm sick of the trope of "powerful being who shape the universe must stay out of site at any cost or else it's the end of the world" or whatever, it's just drama for the sake of drama in my eyes and it doesn't add much of a mysterious vibe. Besides it adds more possibilities story wise :) .Let's say that it's something very discouraged among cosmic entities, it's okay if they fuel legends and folklore, but if an entity actively tries to get well known and mediatised in a universe, only then will they get in trouble.

• Stars are no longer needed for someone to turn into a Cosmic entity, basically I put stars in the mix to seem more cosmicy (if that's even a word...) and I didn't really knew what a star was myself, for now on stars are the sparkles you see floating around cosmic entities and are the physical manifestation of said entity's emotion, appearing in different shapes depending on how the cosmic entity feels.

•Cosmic entities are no longer bound to travel in the universes they're assign to, I put this to make their power not too OP. It's useless to restrict them to some universes and it doesn't really add much to anything relevant.

• The Noise is allowed to have more than his TV show as a form of media (such as journals, radio stations and more, although his most popular form of media is his TV show), limiting The Noise to only having a TV show really contradicted with the idea that he's his own boss, he's free, he can now do as he pleases and shoose what he wants to do in his show ( in his universe The Noise was forced to do what his higher ups told him to do, such as filming ads, promoting stuff he didn't necessarily like, and things that generaly bothers and annoys him), nonetheless his show is still limited to the cosmic realm (he does break this rule sometimes and bring random people in his show to torment them and satisfy his sadism but shhhh no one has to know this okay 🤫)

• There's no such thing as a title of ultimate prankster anymore, I just put this notion to solidify the idea that The Noise is an asshole, but does he really need an official title? The Noise is a little shit and his actions are enough to prove that.

• We don't know how old Peppino and The Noise are, honestly I shared their age to solidify the idea that they are older, more mature, and also to prevent people from thinking they were thousands of years old (seriously I hate this fucking trope. You're telling me you lived several times the age of the Earth yet you still act like a 10 years old, like do you live at the same paste of a snail for years to go this fast ?!!!) they both are very recent cosmic entities and are not super old, but you know, you can tell by how they act that they're more experienced and mature (the same goes for every cosmic entity by the way.)

And finally

• Cosmic entities don't have the power to manipulate their environment, this was the first thing that threw me of, like what? No they can't, that would be a huge loop hole ! I guess I put this in there to make them seem more powerful somehow? Cosmic entities can only travel between realms (mortal, cosmic etc, the afterlife is the only realm they are not allowed in) and between universes, they can stitch a ripe in reality but ONLY with a special thread provided by the court, they don't make it themselves. Only far more older and powerful cosmic entities have the ability to manipulate their environment as they pleases (more on older cosmic entities later)

Okay I think that's it for the redcons, if I want to redcon other stuff I'll reblog this post with those modifications.

Now brace yourself for

The new stuff :

• the difference of power and look depending on a Cosmic entity's age : there are three very distinct stage in a cosmic entity’s life: dwarf (they arbor a red color scheme in reference to young stars, it's the stage any cosmic entity starts at, only having the ability to travel between universes), minor ( in reference of smaller constellation, is the state our cosmic duo is at right now as well as most cosmic entities. After some years as a cosmic entity, roughly 20 years, they arbor a more colorful color palette and gain the ability to hear thoughts, feel what other beings feel and summon objects they own, that already exist.) and the last is major (reference to bigger constellations, idk they get bigger, sparklier and more colorful? I haven't figured that out yet... After several hundred years, cosmic entities gets tremendously stronger and gain several abilities, on the physical plain they can create or fix a ripe in reality through shear will, manipulate things around them, twisting and reshape reality as they pleases and create anything on commande [the only thing they can't create are living beings tho], on the spiritual plain, they can see things that are invisible for the average mortal being, that earlier stages couldn't see, such as ghosts, angels, demons and the soul of mortals, and also [this is the creepy part] they can manipulate not only other beings emotions [including their own] but also manipulate others memories, changing events in others mind, create new fake memories or erasing them completely. Basically they become a discount version of Discord from MLP... But they have more ✨✨✨ you know ?)

• How the Pizza Tower cast is seen in the cosmic realm : (Before I start this, keep into your mind that Pizza Tower is the only media in the multiverse, yes it brings down the idea of infinite universes, yes it restrict a lot of possibilities, but I think it's better to work with a smaller scale and focus on stuff that specifically interest me story wise, besides I really didn't want to go on a crossover kind of story 😓) When you think cosmic entity, you think of beings like you see in marvel comics right ? Huge menacing individuals, wise and intimidating, well that's exactly what were cosmic entities before the PT cast arrived. You see since most people in the tower absorbed cosmic particles, some of them became cosmic entities. At first the court didn't like this, what are those cartoon looking creatures doing in a society of grand powerful being? Of course they are some entities who are "cartoony" but not to the extent of Pizza Tower characters. Thankfully the first people of the tower were quite efficient as cosmic entities and set a good image for their "kind", so the court kept turning people of the tower into cosmic entities thinking they were still promising individuals (for most of them at least). In general the cast is considered like the babies of the realm, most of the other cosmic entities are completely fine and interact with them as if they were equals, it's only with the higher ups and oldest cosmic entities that you see they're kind of looked down upon, considered as not really inferiors, but kind of like idiots, not worthy of the title.

• The constellation system: After accomplishing several tasks, cosmic entities are rewarded with stars, but not any kind of stars, these stars appear directly onto the entity's body and serve as some kind of merit badge, gain enough stars and you get a constellation, gain enough constellations and you get your ticket to complete freedom and you can stop watching over universes, giving your spot to younger cosmic entities. It's kind of a retirement system, entities tend to get enough constellations around the end of their minor stage. You'll see on some designs that constellations are not the same depending on'the individual (it's gonna be a huge pain in the butt to keep track of who has what but anything for consistency ✊👁️👄👁️)

And finally and probably one of the darkest aspect of the AU

Loss of memory: To make sure cosmic entities eventually get rid of what attached them to their universe and former life, the court enabled a memory wiping system that will make all cosmic entities forget where they come from, who they knew and what experience they lived, only conserving memories regarding who they are and what they did in life. Things like memoirs and diaries are forbidden and if the court finds out an entity has any of this kind of things, it will be immediately destroyed an the entity will have their memories wiped even faster. Major cosmic entities all have forgotten who they used to know in their earlier life, family, friends, all experience that shaped them into the person they are, with who they are and what they do in life being the only memories they have left.

And that was it for the new stuff, if you made it this far congratulations ✨✨✨. Like for the redcon part if I want to modify this part I'll reblog the modifications.

And now comes the part I shall call

Random trivia ✨✨✨

Like the title suggest, it's literally just random trivia I couldn't efficiently put in the post, regarding anything and everything.

The way someone turns into a cosmic entity is simple, after death, the higher ups of the court propose you to either go to the afterlife or become a cosmic entity, only one version of a being can become an entity (to put that in practice, if Peppino from a random universe decides to become a cosmic entity, it won't be possible for other Peppinos to become a cosmic entity), there can only be two cosmic entities per universe, the entity will start off as a dwarf entity and as time goes on their body and power will evolve.

Cosmic entities may have the ability to hear others though, they generally don't use this power as often as you may think, most of them prefer not to do it because it's a huge violation of privacy and for entities that don't care about privacy, they often find out the "downgrade" of hearing others thoughts... If you know what I mean. Cosmic entities generally prefer just sensing the emotions of other beings around rather then hearing their thoughts expressively.

Here's the main PT cast as cosmic entities, in the chronological order of when they turned into cosmic entities

John & Gerome

Brick

Mr. Stick

The Vigilante & Pepperman

Gustavo

Pizzahead

Noisette

F. Peppino

Peppino & The Noise

( Beings after our cosmic duo will be shown later in the story)

Of course there are far more beings from the tower but this is why I call them the main cast, most of them have yet to be properly designed but they'll all appear eventually I swear.

All cosmic entities arbor a "scar" on their body hinting toward what killed them in their earlier life. For example the dark gradient you see flowing down cosmic Noise's head hints toward the fact he passed away from a head concussion, or if you were to look at Peppino's back you'd see a huge burn mark looking scar hinting toward the fact that he passed away from a bomb exploding inside of him. In most cases the scare is a warmer color than the rest of the skin ( Watch out tho, the color is warmer in the scientific definition, where red is the coldest and purple is the warmest ☝️.)

The cosmic realm is composed of multiple environment, expending as far as the eye can see, the most populated place is of course the main city : Cosmopolis, a city so huge it's surface equals our Moon ! It's basically your very populated cyberpunk city with huge buildings and bright light, with floating roads and boutiques at every corner. Outside of the city you have the Lux plain, very chill and on the country side, it's the perfect place if you like silence and stargazing, it's also where Peppino's pizzaria is located. Also outside the city you have the Firefly park, like the name suggests, it's a huge park with benches you can sit on of course, lakes you can admire or fish in, everywhere where the grass is a little high you'll see little fireflies fly by. And anything outside the plain and park is not mapped out, all we know is that it seems to go forever and there are several extraordinary places yet to be found and recorded.

Peppino can summon his scooter just by whistling and it will appear out of nowhere and go directly next to him, as if it had a mind of it's own, that goes for Noisette's umbrella too that she uses like a mode of transport like a witch's broom. The Noise tho has to snap his fingers and a limo will appear, crushing anything in it's way in a comically absurd way

Despite being forbidden, very few cosmic entities keep a record of their earlier life with everything they remember, for example Peppino keeps a diary with the name of everyone he knows, what's his relationship with said people and memories of his past life. As long as no one finds those records, he can keep what attaches him to his mortal life.

And finally

The only way to kill a cosmic entity is by saturating them with cosmic particles, too much cosmic particles is very dangerous, if an entity has too much cosmic particles inside of them, their body will slowly melt into a puddle of star and will eventually evaporate into cosmic particles. After that the soul of the entity will go to the afterlife, without the possibility to turn back into a cosmic entity.

And that's all folks!

Congratulations to all the mad lads who made it this far ! , I'm sorry this post has no illustration whatsoever, you had to eat consecutive paragraphs with no yummy colots, I am aware that most people like this AU because of the art, today was not an artsy day alright 😓 !

If you have any questions feel free to ask them,with that being said, remember that lasagnas are pasta cakes and see ya ✌️

[super-weed-ninja]

For a little over a year now I've been slowly amassing a collection of ninja turtle books and I wanna talk about some of them. Picture books, joke books, novelizations, coloring and activity books... For all different iterations and all different reading levels.

Well ok they are pretty much just kids books let's be real, but some of them are really great and it's nice to see some new adventures. I've loved ninja turtles for as long as I can remember. Watched the '80s cartoon when I was young, read the comics, caught '03 in it's first season and was hooked immediately, and have pretty well kept up with everything since, with the exception of IDW (SOON.) These books have given me a new appreciation to the TMNT.

At first I just wanted to get my hands on some '03 books, but I was at the same time falling back in love with the '87 show, and books related to that series ended up being a lot easier to find. There's new adventures, some adapted episodes of the cartoon, some from Archie comics...

A rap song to fight drugs, and a little book adapting the first live action film with the '87 boys (Raphael defenestration and all, LOOK AT MY BOY THEY KILLED HIM)

I wasn't really planning to get so many, but THESE 4 delightful books really had an effect on me.

I'll probably make another post just about these 4 books sometime because I have so much to say on them! There is such a charm about them and they've changed how I think about the '87 and Archie turtles. They also act as a prequel series to either! Each book focuses on a different turtle. You see them in some of their pre-series naivete, learning and exploring and joking around. It's really no surprise they're so good, given the author, Stephen Murphy, was a primary writer for TMNT Adventures (Archie) and Tales of the TMNT. '03 girlies, he co-authored "Sons of the Silent Age" in Mirage and was a writer for several '03 episodes!

Anyway, after reading these, I really started searching.

It's so interesting to me to read these characters in this form, from different authors with their own ideas about the turtles.

There's several unique stories in the '03 books, with wonderful illustrations. These goofballs just shine even in the silliest of the adventures. Stephen Murphy, again, shows up here as an author of '03 books. I really love how he writes the boys.

'12 tends to just be episode adaptations, although I haven't actually read the novels I have yet. '12 books have been pretty easy to find so they have not been high on my priority list, but I try to grab ones that look like unique tales!

Mikey's Nightwatcher Scrapbook was so adorable, one of my favorites! Newspaper clippings, date and time stamped sightings and attempts at catching/talking to the elusive Nightwatcher... It's very fun and endearing! The Rise novels are just retellings of episodes, but each story is told by a different character! It's not much, but it's a cute detail.

finding coloring books is HARD, and even harder is finding one that's not been used. The joke book is full of the most garbage jokes but I had some fun torturing friends with it. :3

The coloring books in particular I'd like to scan sometime to share. I remember seeing '03 coloring books around all the time while the show was running; now you're liable to find yourself in a bidding war for one! (against me)

These books have become so important to me and I wanna talk about them more so I might just start taking one every now and then and ranting about it in a post. I have about 80 various books now, and a decent list of more I'm on the hunt for.

[strawberrylollipop26-blog-blog]

Movie/Show Round UP

I haven't done one of these in awhile. As always, my thoughts are short and to the point. I don't go in depth. I'm not a professional reviewer, just my thoughts.

Under the cut there are reviews for Fly Me to the Moon, Inside/Out 2, Despicable Me 4, A Quiet Place: Day One, Dune Part 2, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, Bad Boys: Ride or Die, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, The Fall Guy, Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, Civil War, Madame Web, Argylle, Abigail and The Bikeriders. TV shows: Legend of Fei and Halloween Baking Championship.

Fly Me to the Moon: I saw this movie during a three show day at the theater. It was the middle movie and the biggest question mark. Turns out, the whole 'did they or didn't they' land on the moon theory was actually interesting. While I have zero interest in a rewatch, definitely worth attempting for first time viewers.

Inside/Out 2: This movie was exactly the same as the first. There's nothing new here except for possibly children experiencing new emotions. As an adult, I was bored.

Despicable Me 4: Cute. This film added nothing.

A Quiet Place: Day One: I thought it was nicely done. Still, didn't knock my socks off like the first one. My spouse wanted to know exactly how people learned to be quiet. I tried to tell him that they showed it in the second movie. He wanted more of a show. He was also annoyed that we know nothing about the aliens and it's the third movie. Slight spoiler, I wish we didn't know something about a certain character because it would've made the ending decision so much more impactful.

Dune: Part 2: Well, he tried to warn them about what would happen. I like the action that happens even though it all folds into a pretty box.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire: I barely remember this movie. It was sort of reminiscent of the previous one. A typical unite to defeat the super evil blah blah blah.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes: Disturbing T!k T0ks regarding the leads aside, this movie was enjoyable. Although, I had no idea a new movie series was starting. There were quite the few holes left so I'd see the second one.

Bad Boys: Ride or Die: I saw this before the previous one so I was quite confused in certain parts. All in all it was enjoyable. There are some funny moments. I've had the urge to watch again.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire: I haven't seen this in awhile. From what I remember there's a side character hero in here that's pretty funny. Pretty textbook, you know what's going to happen before it does.

The Fall Guy: I've heard people talking about this one and disliking it. I thought the whole purpose was to have an outrageous fun movie showing crazy stunts the doubles do. Is it the best movie? No, but if you like action it's worth a watch.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga: I'm an action girl. I highly valued the first Mad Max. This movie is obviously character based therefore slower to catch the stages of development (it's even told in chapters). I was bored. All the story shows in the normal character faced adversity, lived a hard life, finally goes for their revenge. Zero interest in a rewatch. I'll turn on the first one again.

Civil War: A weird movie full of numerous holes. A waste of my time.

Madame Web: I thought it was okay even though this movie was review bombed. There's nothing special about it, but it's not the worst movie that people complained about. Then again, to each their own.

Argylle: Another movie that was review bombed. I also guessed the likely story in this one. I think this movie suffers mostly from trying to be too many things. It goes for serious, yet wild and fun, yet logical. I think if the movie with the effects stayed 'out there' then people would've found it more enjoyable. Maybe.

Sidenote: My husband is always surprised that me (comedy hater) loves Rat Race and Joe Dirt. My response is always the same. Both movies are unapologetically insane. They don't take themselves seriously at all. I think Argylle should've done this as they had moments before deciding to become a serious spy movie.

The Bikeriders: First of all there's a narrator to this movie. Threw me off a bit at first, I normally don't watch those type of movies because i feel it leaves off clues. The movie's okay. Practically a drama in a bikerider setting. There isn't much mystery so another one that's easy to read.

Abigail: I enjoyed this movie until the ending. Not much I can say without spoiling.

Legend of Fei: I finally finished this show. Took me forever as it has good episodes, and others I cared less for (admittedly skipped scenes). Some characters were so annoying. Thankfully, Fei stopped passing out which was killing me. Xie Yun is my absolute fave. I might be biased, but all his scenes were so much fun except for the ones where he's sick :( . I've read reviews where people say they can watch this repeatedly, I'm not one of them. One and done. Sort of reminded me of WoH main storyline.

Sidenote: I love the one scene where he's reminiscing the past in his dreams and he no longer has money. The way this man kept opening up his pouch and dumping it over to make sure there were no coins. So relatable in my younger days.

Halloween Baking Championship: An era has come to an end or at least caught up in the seasons. I really like this cooking show. I hope people have some out of the box creations in the new year coming up.

[hornithology]

Grayson (2014) live read

join me as I re-read Grayson for research for an essay on it's treatment of eroticism.

love the use of bold pink for issue #1's cover. very much referencing 60's 70's James Bond posters and pop art. I saw a picture of a second printing where the pink was red instead, which could have been an aim at making it more marketable (less queer-seeming, which... lol) or could have been about the print quality on the color? the red with black title is way less striking.

the left variant cover is horrendous. why did you make his face look like that. why are you trying to sell some gritty version of Dick who doesn't know how to properly handle a gun, for a comic in which Midnighter is going to flirt fight with him? deception in advertising!

the right is really great. I wish I could find a better quality image. matches the energy of Nightwing #30 which lead to all of this.

on to the story!

there's something about dead, tortured, martyred Dick...

Looks like we've got a hot one. YES YOU DO, M!!!

"I can read the electrical activity inside your pretty head." "you fight like jazz." stellar dialogue. you can't tell me this is not a little bit of flirting. and Midnighter is a known, canonically gay character, so we are meant to read into his lines. I think it's also pretty established at this point in Dick's character consensus that he's very attractive.

I think this room is referencing Modesty Blaise (1966), a spy parody featuring Dirk Bogarde. I haven't seen it yet. when I first read Grayson I was like... the colorful visuals and patterns in a spy context make me think of Austin Powers—a 90's parody of the 60's/70's parodies of spy films. inspiration multiply removed! I'm fairly confident that the artists looked at some spy movies/posters for their design choices.

although this room could also be inspired by the red room in Twin Peaks. either/and.

the bold colors and patterns in Grayson are fairly important decisions, because they're the artistic decision that is most successful. iirc, we'll see how I feel on this re-read.

I WILL SCREAM AND I WILL CRY. Tim Seely and Tom King... I have questions and demands!!!!

more colors! but it's not actually hypnos because it's not vibrant enough and doesn't contain the concentric circles... or is it???

this is also weird because I'm not sure if like. we're not supposed to think that Helena and Dick were together romantically in the past (Nightwing / Huntress (1998)). that's pre new-52 so... shrug. but do they even know each other here? are they pretending that they have met recently? is Helena's vigilante identity a secret from Spiral? these questions are not relevant to my essay so I shall not be doing that investigation myself :)

ok actually that's Huntress middle row third from left, yes??? edit: no, it's Batwoman. anyway.

that's Grayson #1!

it's a pretty good issue opener, with some unfortunate fatphobia that is completely expected. we get some titilation with Helena, the start of a nebulous power dance that is perfect for the spy genre.

I wish that I liked the art better, since we have these artists for the majority of the run. the combination of Mikel Janín's drawings (not enough gesture) and Jeromy Cox's soft coloring of the figures makes it look like everyone is drawn from a 3D model. there's nothing wrong with using models and references in comics and is pretty much necessary for all DC comic turn around time, but it's really not my preference because you lose the "hand" of the drawing. the drawings in this issue look stiff. I'm not actually positive that Janín is using models.

I like the color choices for the hypnos and action sequences, the panel composition is good, and I like some of the inking. I think they are making smart decisions with the visuals, it's really just the type of drawing that is not my favorite. to each their own!

[anncanta]

‘Miller's Girl’: when the mirror has two faces

It’s interesting that the film Miller's Girl, which, as I understand it, caused a lot of controversy among viewers and critics, is not about sex at all and certainly not about the relationship between a teacher and a student, but about the collision of worlds. In that sense, it's a very smart film that's worth watching even with the need to wade through the heroine's pompous comments and thoughtful descriptions of love.

The beauty of Miller's Girl is that it literally and clearly shows what happens when two completely different and somewhat opposing views of the world collide.

But here it is necessary to separate several layers and semantic lines.

The first layer is figurative. At first glance, the film is structured as an impressionistic sketch, a kind of poem about a blossoming youth thirsting for love. Thus came the choice of Jenna Ortega in the lead role, simultaneously referencing the absolutely innocent (despite the gothic and deliberate sinister) Wednesday and the classic, offensively typical debutante girl. Contemptuously commented on by the same teenage girl, the old house, green leaves, drops of water, a kiss, her figure in a silk dress against the backdrop of the entrance, intricately and diligently weave this network. But then we blink – and the camera shows the other side of this mirror.

On the other side, as if in the interrogation cell window, a completely different aspect of the text is visible. If there, inside (in the cell), is a typical erotic fantasy – or picture of sexual preferences – of a man, outside one of the common erotic fantasies of a woman is. A man who is unaware of his attractiveness.

And only Martin Freeman could play this role properly. Although outwardly unattractive, or at least possessing a discreet appearance, he is so exquisitely masculine in the best sense that no further erotic scenes are needed. It is no coincidence that everything we see on the screen is fragments, short flashes, hints. There is no imitation of sex that is usual for films of this rating. What is there?

There is a man in a blue sweater standing at the table. Not a superhero, not a famous actor, not a fashion model. Very sincere and very smart. Warm. With certain life experiences that he doesn't yet know what to do with. Lost, and therefore getting involved in a game that is not his own.

This is the initial disposition. The beauty of what happens next is that we know what's coming, and yet it's discouraging.

The next layer is semantic.

The main character is ‘not like everyone else,’ because, unlike them, she is aware of her own banality. She lives alone in an old house and longs either for love or to grow up.

And then there's a click. At eighteen years old, the first and second are one and the same. Any adult knows this, even abusers know this, which is why they single out their victims, telling them that they seem ‘older’ than their peers. And Jonathan Miller knows it too. As he also knows, fantasies are just fantasies, and experiencing an orgasm in despair at home on your own from someone else's text is not a crime, because this is not an event of shared reality. This is your personal event.

Therefore, Jonathan does not consider any of his actions in relation to Cairo as strange, reprehensible, or ambiguous. Even when he lets her light a cigarette. Because it doesn't occur to him that he could want an eighteen-year-old teenager. Don't fantasize about her, but want her. These are completely different things. A person at forty knows this. But at eighteen, no.

And now we move on to ‘that very scene’ that has caused so much controversy and in which, as at a key node, the threads of the pictorial and semantic layers converge.

To begin with, we know from the characters' conversations (and just timing) that this scene never happened. That is, we have before us a fantasy that comprehensively shows what happened and what this story is about.

The scene is divinely well-shot and conceived. I advise everyone to watch it in the original because it was greatly lost in translation.

So, Jonathan invites his student to write a story in the style of a famous writer. The girl reads a lot; by the beginning of the semester, she had read the entire list of 12 assigned books. But for styling, she chose Henry Miller.

Very important. This moment shows how lost, self-absorbed, and actually uninterested in Cairo Jonathan is. If he had been calmer, more outward-looking, and more confident, he would have seen Henry Miller as an offer and would have rejected it (as he did at the end). An eighteen-year-old girl approaching a man and waving a Henry Miller sees herself as brave, sexy, and uninhibited. But that's because she doesn't know anything about sex. She simultaneously wants to appear experienced and relies on what she imagines as the ‘male gaze’ – tired, bored, and lustful when all vaginas are the same. She seems to be saying, ‘Here I am, take me, I'm ready for sex on your terms.’

But she knows nothing about his terms.

The beauty of this (truly wildly erotic) scene is that although the characters are together in the same frame, the mirror of the interrogation room is maintained, and we see both his and her fantasy at the same time.

In addition, this is a rare case when voiceover works. Jonathan opens Cairo's letter, sees what's in it, understands that the text of the story she sent is, to put it mildly, unusual, and goes to read in the little house near the home. Everything that happens next is accompanied by this very text.

Jonathan will later give it a completely correct definition – pornography. But pornography also comes in different forms. I recognized this text immediately since I had seen it many times on literary sites, in the stories of beginners, mainly very young authors. This is a typical NC-17-rated fanfic, in which the same thing always happens, described in the same words. He pushed her (to the bed, to the wall, to the table), spread her (legs, folds), tore off her underwear, and brutally (that's necessary) fucked her.

There are two important points here. Firstly, many young women, due to their inexperience and emotional and sexual illiteracy, really imagine sex this way. Especially passionate sex. And secondly, pornography is really arousing. This is its function. We are designed in such a way that the naming of certain organs and erogenous zones, the literal description of the process of copulation, and even the aggressiveness of this process appeal to the lower parts of our brain and cause a reaction. This does not necessarily mean that we enjoy this. This means that we get sexual release. That's what happened to Jonathan. But there is another important detail.

We remember that this is not just Cairo's fantasy, right? And also that this is a fantasy. But because we saw it, we know how Jonathan perceives what is happening and what his real attitude towards sex is. (I think the fact that in his fantasies Cairo is not the real one does not need to be explained – if it is not clear enough from the visuals, there is his profession, a literature teacher, and an explanation in the second part of the film when he refuses her; a character is a character, it does not overlap with a real person.)

Look how amazingly and delicately woven it is. Imaginary Jonathan and Cairo are standing in the bedroom, Cairo reaches out to him for a kiss, but he sternly pushes her away (Cairo, fan fiction, daddy issues), turns her back to him, and leans her on the bed (Cairo). Then he slowly runs his hands down her back and gently and calmly pushes her hair to the side with one hand. He leans over and shows which sentence to start reading from (reenactment of real-life interactions between Jonathan and Cairo, confirming that this is his view). It's one or two seconds, and only Martin Freeman could play it that accurately. This is how he sees interaction with a woman, as it happens between adults. And this has nothing to do with the brutal rhythm, wet folds that are filled with sperm, and identical vaginas.

The drama that happened next is not only about how the narcissistic girl punished the teacher for refusing her. It's about how such things are inherently hopeless, because Cairo, at eighteen, even if she were less narcissistic, cannot understand that Jonathan actually said ‘yes’ to her.

But only he said ‘yes’ to that Cairo, who will grow up, recognize herself, meet a man who she will like and who will understand her and speak the same language with her, whom she will choose not because he is older/younger/blue-eyed/tall/teacher/driver (because it's a child's choice), will discover real (not cum-filled) depths within herself, connect desire and emotion, and be able to experience what he fantasized about her.

He separated literature and reality, fantasy and life for her. I won't say that he resisted his own desires, because I'm pretty sure he didn't want her. He wanted to be seen – yes, he wanted to understand what to do – yes. He wanted to have sex with his wife, after all. And even with all this pressure, he was able not to confuse the story and reality. Which, by the way, suggests that he is a much better writer than his wife.

So what is this story? Erotic thriller? Love drama? An attempt by the authors to satirize Hollywood and literary romantic clichés? In my opinion, this is a novella, beautiful, stylish, psychologically accurate, and ruthless. And at the same time, it is incredibly careful with the material and puts everything in its place.

[ryanthel0ser]

Care to share some stuff about Howls Moving Castle? I haven’t been able to fully comprehend Howls dynamic/style/personality yet.

FINALLY I CAN ANSWER THIS ASK (midterm season is awful)

While book and movie Howl are very different I do think they share a lot of core traits that define both as Howl instead of it being two different characters.

Both Howls have a level of mischievousness to them and like to have fun at times when everyone else is distressed. We don't get to see it as much in the movie but the two most prominent moments are when they escaped Suliman and when Howl takes down the ship in the flower garden. You can see him making fun out of the situation and causing trouble in a way that feels akin to someone who would pull pranks or tease. This is inline with his book counterpart who we see get to be a menace and constantly pester and annoy Sophie, doing various antics both plot relevant and "I just want to be a menace today."

Both Howl's also have a lot of heart and care for others, although book Howl does not show it as much like his movie counterpart. The whole reason the pact is made between Calcifer and Howl was because Howl pitied the shooting stars because they died upon impact with the ground, and we see him take in people from the street like Sophie and Markl (or Michael in the book). The movie though has Howl's affection being more open and clear to the audience because we don't get to spend time just with the characters like we do in the book, book Howl puts on the "I don't care I'm gonna go be a womanizer now" front but by the end of the book when it's revealed he is in love with Sophie and has been his actions become much more obvious.

In terms of vanity, Howl is a vain person when it comes to his own appearance. We only get to see it through his hair freak out and his fashion in the movie, but in the book we get a lot more of it especially when he's trying to be a womanizer. Book Sophie in the second book Castle in the Sky states "And he's sly and selfish and vain as a peacock and cowardly, and you can't pin him down to anything" (which she doesn't say out of malice for him in the moment, they're literally looking for Howl in this scene and her and Howl already have a kid) so in the book it's undeniable. However, in the movie, the Howl we see is much more noble (something the author even stated) and we only get that one moment when it came to Suliman that shows any level of cowardice from Howl.

Overall, the major difference between the movie and book Howl is that book Howl is very clearly a bad boy womanizer with a heart of gold while movie Howl is more of a mysterious guy who's a little bad but still has that heart of gold. I do think that we could've seen more of the Howl from the book if the movie was longer and we got those months Sophie was just living with them, but that probably would've killed the animators and Miyazaki movies don't tend to have moments like that in the film.

Both Howls are down bad for Sophie from the very early on though and I think it's safe to say he knew Sophie was the old woman in the movie from the start like he does in the book. In the movie, he's been looking for Sophie because of what she tells him when she goes back in time and I believe that not long after he starts to get to know her as old lady Sophie he falls for her (the scene where he watches her sleep literally has a track called "Unspoken Love" so he had to be falling by then). In the book, he sees her and thinks she's pretty when they first meet but it takes a bit for him to fall for her once she's old Sophie and then he falls hard and going back through the book it becomes very clear that he did when you look at his actions instead of his behavior with Sophie. Him and Sophie in the book have the "arguing is their love language" dynamic.

I hope this was sufficient, feel free to ask more, this was what I could pull from the top of my very exhausted brain but I know I could delve a little bit more into Howl himself, I just need some leading questions to get the gears going :]

[maximumwobblerbanditdonut]

FILM AND MOVIES

What Went Wrong With… SAS: Red Notice (2021)?

A review of SAS: Red Notice by What Went Wrong Or Right With...?

SAS: Red Notice is the latest Sky Original film to premiere on the satellite platform and unfortunately it’s another dead duck. Based on the book of the same name by Andy McNab, the plot is about a family-based, terrorist group known as the “Black Swans” who take over the Channel Tunnel. Interpol’s “Red Notice” (which alerts police worldwide to internationally wanted fugitives) gives this film its title (at least I think it does, although in S.A.S. terms it could mean a government sanctioned hit). Regardless of its meaning, the main part of the storyline (the hi-jacking) takes almost half-an-hour to get to, and once it does, it’s not exactly enthralling. The film begins with a preamble about “psychopaths” delivered by Tom Wilkinson’s character William Lewis who goes on to say “psychopaths who can learn to love are as rare as a black swan”. This I assume, refers to his baddie daughter Grace played by Ruby Rose or possibly the good guy Tom played by Sam Heughan. This kind of wannabe poignant dialogue is pointless to ponder over however, since this isn’t a character study of someone taught to kill and the parallels between the military and terrorists, or whether someone can switch off their violent tendencies and become compassionate. What this is, is a load of D-list actors saying “awight mate” a lot, posturing, chewing gum to look butch, and shooting guns, largely in the dark. Oh, and apparently, the elite of the elite in the S.A.S. are also bilingual botanists.

I’ll admit that I haven’t and probably never will read an Andy McNab novel, so I’m judging this adaptation against similar action movies. The plot to me, seems very late-80s or early-90s, very much like Ruby Rose’s bowl hair cut. SAS: Red Notice wishes it was in the same company as the original The Taking Of Pelham One Two Three, Die Hard, and every classic derivative action movie such as Speed, Under Siege, and Executive Decision but it’s instead more of a Chuck Norris or Michael Dudikoff-type flick.

Directed by Magnus Martens, the look and feel is more “TV” than cinema, and bad television at that. Magnus can’t seem to coax a believable performance out of anyone, and that’s alongside his appalling framing and camera movement, not to mention the seemingly non-existent art direction which leaves us with what looks like a home-made movie. The cast aren’t much better. Aside from the always decent Tom Wilkinson, the acting talent is also firmly in made-for-TV territory. We have Noel Clarke looking as convincing as Major Bisset as his Detective Inspector in Bulletproof, Anne Reid who played Jean in dinnerladies is still Jean from dinnerladies, and Andy Serkis plays Clements by overacting and probably wishing he was dressed in spandex and covered in white dots playing a different kind of gorilla.

We also have the aforementioned Sam Heughan as Tom or Thomas Buckingham III, a contrived yet somehow unbelievable rich, posh, heterosexual white male who lives in what looks like Wayne Manor with a butler not too dissimilar to Batman’s. Sam is a terrible, soap-opera-esque actor and as the lead, he’s the main reason why this film looks so cheap and tacky. Bad acting doesn’t end with Heughan however; we also have Ruby Rose playing his arch-nemesis Grace Lewis.

I suppose it’s progress to see a British Prime Minister played by a person of colour (Ray Panthaki) and someone from the LGBTQ community play the villain or antagonist in an action film but Panthaki is essentially a one-term baddun, and Rose is so lacking in charisma and acting skills that she won’t be spoken about in the same breath as Alan Rickman’s Hans Gruber or even Eric Bogosian’s Travis Dane, which kind of defeats the purpose. Grace Lewis is instead, in the same league as Thomas Gabriel or Alik from the inferior Die Hard sequels. Rose can’t even act like she’s been shot in the neck or smile convincingly with her “this isn’t a disguise” wig on whilst trying to ward off authorities, let alone look menacing or have a knife-fight (or spoiler alert: die).

Whilst on the topic of Grace, her tactic of “kill the men and the boys, leave the women to spread the fear” conveniently leaves out the all-too-common rape and torture. Make no mistake, this is a sanitised view of conflict where mercenaries, contractors, war criminals, and terrorists are completely unconnected to any military unit. The film begins with contractors tasked to clear a village in Georgia in order to lay a pipe line, and this seems very War On Terror and Black Water-esque (especially the name “Black Swans”) but the way in which this story is told, it’s less Iraq and more Tie Rack with a bunch of suits trying to make some soulless and shallow money from militarism. There’s no real opinion on whether contractors should be used in war, it’s more “it’s okay until they leave witnesses” which is a dodgy message to convey. That being said, even our hero Thomas hears his butler recount a story of Buckingham’s forefathers chopping off a Maharaja’s finger during an Indian “uprising” in order to take their ring, which means even the protagonist has a lineage of wrongdoing but I’m sure viewers of this trash will glaze over this. In order to bolster the concept of “good guys can do no wrong”, the wedding vows at the end of the film are cringe-worthy and go to show how not only the writers, but everyone involved in making this crapfest, love the idea of the infallible war hero who cannot and should not be criticised (or prosecuted) because they do such a difficult job… “For better, for worse, in war [and] in peace, knowing that in war, your crazy brain is always right”. 🤮

Whether pro-war or anti-terror or just unadulterated militarism, all this criticism is of course pointless to mention, as nobody watching Red Notice is looking for deep, meaningful subtext and opinion-challenging concepts. The camouflage-covered cinematic cliches of “this isn’t what I signed-up for!” and “take the shot!” are both present which means this is a hackneyed, straight-to-streaming, non-action, action film. I wouldn’t have minded if this shite contained a plot about what great jobs snipers do or how difficult counter terrorism is, instead it’s another mindless, gung-ho release. And while I’m at it: who gives a toss about what happens to a fictitious government and this film’s uninteresting characters during the end credits? Please don’t make a sequel or try to start a franchise about the exploits of Tom effing Buckingham the pissing Third!

As a Sky Original, I have to mention the inclusion of Sky News presenters Gamal Fahnbulleh and Jayne Secker (and Ben bloody Shephard of ITV’s Good Morning Britain) doing some suspiciously, similar-to-real-life acting. Similar to Jeremy Thompson in Shaun Of The Dead, the news casters’ or broadcasters’ acting looks as convincing as the actual news and their “breaking news” bulletins are read with the same vigour. Ignoring the fact that Sky are both feeding and eating itself in the creation of this film, it’s always disconcerting to see real-life news presenters read scripts as well as they do on air, which goes to show they’re not journalists but actors who err… read scripts for a living. But I guess that’s for another article.

Back to the film, no matter its formulaic-ness, it would have been a much better idea for John McTiernan to direct SAS: Red Notice, for the sole purpose to try and get his post-prison reputation back to the level of his original Die Hard and Hunt For Red October heyday. I’d like to think that the maker of the original action masterpiece from which all others originate could surely make even the lamest of scripts buzz with exhilaration? Instead, thanks to a director who cannot direct, especially action scenes, I wasn’t thrilled or excited at all.

Apparently notices of the rouge variety are very popular right now because confusingly, there’s a Dwayne Johnson “Red Notice” movie in the works too, unconnected to the McNab book but an action flick nevertheless. One thing’s for certain: this version isn’t the one that stands out. Even with a large Andy McNab fanbase, this is gonna go

BY WHAT WENT WRONG OR RIGHT WITH...? ON MARCH 11, 2021 • ( 7 COMMENTS )

This is the time to remember! the time is not gonna change 😬