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doomednarrative · 2 years

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So this is a thought that I’ve been mulling over as I keep watching Donbrothers, and after finishing episode 44 it’s one that finally fully formed in my mind, and I think I have the words to articulate it in writing now.

It’s a thought about Taro Momoi. As the Red Sentai Ranger he’s obviously going to impact the story a lot, it’s in his nature to from the moment the series starts. But there’s one specific aspect of his character that keeps catching my focus, and it’s his inherent inability to lie about anything and everything.

The thought that I keep coming back to is that if you chose to watch Donbrothers with a queer reading in mind, that specific characteristic has such a farther reaching impact on both Taro and the narrative as a Whole.

(And before I go any further, I’ll put my little disclaimer here that this is not me saying you Should watch Donbrothers with this reading or anything to that effect. It is after all at its base level a sentai show meant to sell cool toys. You don’t have to give it this depth, it’s fine without it. I however am a queer person and I find it fun to do these kinds of readings as a thought experiment and I like writing about it for others to read.)

But anyhow.

Putting the rest of my thoughts under a read more because it got very long ~

The thing that gets me about Taro and his inability to lie and the fact that he has such an obvious tell for when he Is lying - that being that it literally kills him - is that it Forces Taro to go through his life living as his 100% authentic self. There is no way for him to hide from the rest of the world, no shield of little white lies or even a false persona that he can put on to keep himself from getting hurt. And he’s more than aware that A. His inability to lie Does hurt other people, which in turn hurts him as well, and B. It often puts him at odds with others due to how it can make him come off as ruder or more careless than he might mean to be. But it’s not something that he can change about himself. He’s tried, multiple times, and it’s just not something he’s capable of doing no matter what effort he puts into it.

And this has been a persistent issue for him since early childhood. It’s this very fact about Taro that makes an entire village move away when he’s still a young boy because in his attempts to help people by being honest and upfront with them, he drove them to hate him for his perfectionist streak instead. He couldn’t soften his words or tell them that they were doing just fine but that he wanted to help them, instead everything comes off blunt and matter of fact and over time it drove people away from him, until only he and Jin were left in their little neighborhood.

Taro’s inability to lie is something that the rest of the Donbrothers challenge him on throughout the entire series. It’s something that they actively either try to work to get him to break on, or they bemoan the fact that it’s not something he can fix about himself. Sometimes this is played for laughs, but more than a handful of times it’s also the cause of actual annoyance or even a level of anger from Taro’s teammates directed at him for this thing that he cannot change about himself. Over time Taro has learned a good bit how to at least supplement his blunt honesty with some careful phrasing so that he’s not as rude to people about things, but this still doesn’t change the fact that he cannot lie, and therefore cannot change a core part of himself or use lying as a way to shield himself from things like the others can.

That’s exactly why its such a huge deal to him when Sonoi is the first person to show up in his life, very early in the series, and tell Taro upfront that not only is his honesty a fine trait that he has, but that it’s also something he likes about Taro. Sonoi, before their shock at finding out each others true identities, literally calls Taro his hope and reaffirms when Taro comes to him about this issue more than once that he thinks Taro is fine as he is. This is something that I think ends up being a huge part of why the two of them end up still being close even after all of the fighting and literally killing and reviving each other that goes on through the series. Even after the many shocks and betrayals, the fact that their relationship (whatever you chose to view it as/whatever the narrative might imply it is) started with such openness and honesty makes for a very good foundation for the two of them. There’s already so much out in the open at that point that neither of them can pull back for long. Sonoi’s efforts to do so barely last more than a few episodes, and Taro never stops being anything less than genuine with him in all of their interactions from the first time they meet.

And speaking of Sonoi and his fellow Noto companions...

Sonoi may not have a problem with lying in the literal sense like Taro does, it certainly doesn’t kill him at least and he can lie with his words all he wants with no repercussion physically. But as the series goes on, you start to see that he’s lying to both himself and his teammates about a lot of things, and it slowly stops working and starts becoming something that is an actual roadblock for not just himself but for Sononi and Sonoza as well. And Sononi and Sonoza are also lying to themselves and each other as well, and it’s not working for Any of them! Sonoi has to be called back to the purpose of their work multiple times in the beginning of the series because it becomes clear to the others that whatever fascination he has with Taro is beginning to impede their goal of wiping out the Hitotsuki, and then post the first time he kills Taro, he visibly Wilts and states that he does not like himself for what he’s done. He becomes unable to lie to both himself and to Sononi and Sonoza that he’s happy with this outcome even though he should be. He’s a Noto who just took down Don Momotaro! In any regular circumstance, this would be something that he’d be proud of, no matter the method he used to do so. But because he did so by exploiting Taro’s inability to lie to him, something that he told Taro multiple times he liked about him, his victory rings hollow, and instead becomes something he’s actively upset that he did, even when the others think he did just fine. It’s why he helps to bring Taro back, it’s why they both agree to a fair duel that they won’t regret, it’s a catalyst for so many things later on down the line.

Sonoi’s inability to lie to himself and keep going with his duties as a Noto general without interference is what eventually leads to his realization in episode 44 that he and Sonoza and Sononi are all alike in the fact that they’ve grown attached to or become fond with humanity, and this fact puts a target on all of their heads and makes them enemies to their own people. Sononi got so caught up in the love affairs of Tsubasa and his search to bring the real Natsumi back that she fell for him in the process and took multiple hits to protect him, and it almost kills her! And Sonoza, who only ever wanted to understand human emotions and how they work, ended up as the manga editor to a teenage girl who he genuinely wants to see flourish in her work that brought him such joy and who’s respect he’s earned in the process. All three of them start off the series as very serious in their duties to take out the Hitotsuki (and later the Beastials) and slowly over time it gets so put to the back burner due to the connections they’ve made that even their superiors had to intervene to remind them of who they are and what their purpose is. And in the end even that doesn’t work. Not only can they not lie to themselves after a point, but they can’t lie to Sonoshi either. And he makes it very clear what kind of mark that puts on them and their fates before eventually leaving them to their own devices again.

Sonoi, Sononi, Sonoza and Taro are all alike in the fact that they end up being unable to lie/hide things about themselves to themselves or others for one reason or another about core parts of who they are. And it’s this fact alone that either puts them in direct danger, or makes their attempts at navigating the world around them a lot harder than it might otherwise be if they could just lie and shove things under the rug.

I don’t personally read Sononi or Sonoza as queer themselves, but in the case of Taro and Sonoi specificallty, especially with how the overall narrative hints at things and all of the imagery and implication and even outright textual statements, I think it becomes very easy to see how this can all be viewed in a queer light. It at least rings true for me as someone who went through the struggle of being unable to hide myself and having to pay the price for it by running from my home and the dangers that staying there held for me.

Seeing as I haven’t finished the series yet I have no clue if this is something that the Noto trio will end up doing for themselves, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they had to do so, and that in itself would lend even more weight to the comparison I’m trying to make here. Either way, it’s been an emotional journey to watch all of these characters come to the place that they are now in the narrative and how they’ve grown and are trying to make their way in the world as they are, and it’s certainly not something I’ll be forgetting anytime soon.

#avataro sentai donbrothers #donbrothers #taro momoi #momoi taro #sonoi #my meta #kief rambles about donbros #god this took me forever to get down so im sorry if it reads a little disconnected or anytging #i tried my best to convey what i was thinking here

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reservoirreputation · 11 months

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Birds in the Spider's Nest- Extras #1

Spoilers for my ResDogs fic of the same name down below

[ ] = current author's note

[the original placeholder title of this fic was Monsters of Old, which I was never happy with. Below are a bunch of other potential titles. Asterisks indicate how much I liked the title]

Other titles (because this one’s generic as hell:

Living Martyrs ** (For the chapter where both Vic’s screwup and Freddy’s accident are revealed)

It’s Always the Helpful People -

Seven Crooks Walk Into an ‘Abandoned’ Cabin

The Things We Get For Being Nice *

Dead Men Do Tell Tales

Won’t You Help Me? * Please Help Me, Don’t You Love Me?

Poster Boy **

A Teachable Moment

At Last, Under Stars** (Very sentimental) (Chapter title towards the end?)

No Face, No Problems

Breaking My Back (Just To Know Your Name)

Paralyzer

Black Sheep* Counting Black Sheep, Where is Your Face, Mr. Black Sheep?

Birds in the Spider’s Nest

[last entry has no asterisk because when I wrote it down, it was just an instant 'Yes'. This title didn't come about until I was writing Matty's POV, and it just came to me. Writing's funny like that]

Summary: Cabin in the Woods-style tale, likely not supernatural. Up in Northern California, where Freddy visits in the summer an old Newandyke cabin. It belonged to his parents, who vacationed here with their son throughout his childhood, spending whole summers here. Then, early in high school, there was a falling out with his uncle, and the place was abandoned, but not sold. Vague memories of times gone by litter his mind, and Freddy, forced into early retirement,, goes back to this cabin, to sell it, restore, whatever, maybe even find answers.

Note: Organized crime tries to keep from killing the following: civilians and cops. Anyone not part of their way of life, essentially. After a job, though? On the run, trying to lay low? When shit’s starting to go sideways, and you want someone, anyone, to blame?

Joe Cabot has plans in San Francisco, and wants a hideout for after the job. He recalls a cabin one of his old employees used, and decides to head there, knowing for the most part that it’s abandoned. He even sends a couple of people out beforehand to check, which of course proves him right. They set the meetup and get the job done.

Larry pays for the gas inside the station, and is struck by how damn cute one of the patrons is. Light flirting ensues, with the stranger happily returning it. There’s something oddly familiar about him, though, that Larry can’t quite put his finger on. The stranger, Freddy’s the name, mentions heading to his cabin for the weekend, and Larry says ‘same’. ‘Where to?’ ‘Oh, such-and-such’ Freddy freezes, saying, ‘you sure about that? that’s my cabin’ ‘I misspoke’ ‘I don’t think you did’ ‘You knew (uncle’s name)?’ ‘Yeah, he was my uncle’ ‘he told us we could use it’ ‘he’s dead’ ‘years ago’ ‘sure’ Freddy sighs. ‘I’ve got the keys. Which one’s your car?’ ‘Why?’ ‘Because I’d rather let you in and supervise y’all getting blasted than have a busted lock and god knows what else to replace’

Caught in more ways than one, Larry agrees, and practically sprints ahead of Freddy to get to his car first, and let them know of the latest developments. He’s riding with Joe, who makes the call: bring the guy along. No one say nothing, and let the bastard play host. He’s probably on the level, anyhow. Can’t change the hideout now, and play along. If he gets to be trouble, kill him. “But it was so-and-so’s nephew!” Kill him quickly, then.

They get to the cabin, Larry with Freddy as the latter goes to unlock the door, while Joe gets word to the other car about what’s happening. Jokes about Larry not being able to keep it in his pants ensue, with Pink of course being a nervous wreck. Joe mentions to Blue this early on that Larry may not have it in him to do the deed, should it need doing, and Blue agrees to pick up the slack.

A few more code names are made up on the spot, to protect Eddie and Joe just a little: Eddie is Red, for obvious reasons, and Joe is Black. Pink and Brown grumble and huff at this, but Joe tells them to can it; he’s in charge, he can give himself whatever name he pleases. Freddy’s only weirded out a little by it, then figures he wouldn’t want to share his legal name either with someone whose house you were just about to break into and squat in. Joe says they’ve used this for a while now, years even. That When his uncle would hang out with them, he’d go by Orange, and you can use that around us if you want. A test, to see how in the know he is, how comfortable Freddy can be with them. He agrees, because he’s bored out of his mind, and more than a little curious. He might also just be thinking with his dick, who could blame him?

As much as Freddy hate having to retire, it was apparently easier than he expected to leave his policing ways behind.

How did Freddy get hurt? Maybe he took a metaphorical bullet for his newbie partner, Marvin Nash. Recycle a plot-point from Orphan, where Freddy’s now in Steve’s position, Marvin in Larry’s. Only difference is that where Larry left the Marines after a year, Marvin stuck with the LAPD. How we might even get another appearance from Marvin, or maybe not. Not his district, after all. ALTERNATIVE: he was never injured, but a mental health issue/disease came up, something completely out of his control.

How long has it been since Freddy’s forced retirement? Maybe recently, explaining the boredom/cabin fever. Six months?

Freddy’s injury? Concussion? Damage to his eyes? Completely physically healed, but has PTSD? Full on limb prosthesis? Spinal injury? OR: Freddy’s disease/MHI?

Freddy starts asking around what the crew knew of his uncle, what he did for a living, for fun, so on. How he doesn’t remember much of him, but gets this sense of panic when he thinks too long about his uncle.

NEW DRAFT FOR FIC: First idea was for it to be about Demons or Vampires, with Freddy being the supernatural entity. Then to have it based completely in reality. The problem with option two is that the fic veers too closely to ‘Orphan’s premise. So, idea three: the cabin is haunted by the ghost of Freddy’s uncle, who’s trying to warn him about the danger he’s in, specifically with the people in Joe’s crew that helped kill him.

How at first clear signs of a haunting begin after Joe’s guys initially stake out the place, and rumors start circulating in the time between then and Freddy’s trip up there. How people start talking about it and then clam up when Freddy’s around, because while they get a kick out of speculating about his dead uncle, they actually liked Freddy’s parents, and, in turn, him. When Freddy and the crew stay up there, odd sounds and movement are chocked up to the amount of people crashing at a place meant for half their number. It takes a lot for it to get spooky, maybe in the form of one of them hearing the uncle’s voice, but not someone who met him in life, like Pink or Brown.

Visual hallucinations; when the uncle appears, he looks so much like Freddy, at least in body type/height, hair all in his face, that the group mistakes the sightings as Freddy. Only the likes of Joe or Vic know better, because they actually saw the clothes the uncle died in.

1974: Freddy would be 13, middle school age. Blonde would be 17, high school drop-out? Maybe fudged his age to get in the group sooner?

The uncle’s death: Drug overdose, Joe with protege Vic let him die? Maybe Larry’s there, with Vic under his wing. They try saving the uncle, but all seems lost. Larry goes out to the car for something, doesn’t see when the uncle wakes up. See, either roll with the accident, or that Joe wanted him dead, but knew that Larry would fight him on it. Joe finishes the job with Vic’s help. They get a head start on concealing the guy’s body before Larry can get back down there. As far as Larry’ knows, the uncle OD’d.

Why kill the uncle? What if he took the blame for something Vic did? Tried to give the kid some slack, and got heat from Joe for it? Like, “I’m already a screw up, won’t do me much harm. You being so new, best you kept your nose clean.” Except that Joe was already at his wit’s end with the uncle, and was waiting for the last straw. The tragedy is that the uncle didn’t do the thing, and was actually being selfless. ‘You were a liability, I couldn’t have you around’ ‘I was covering for the kid!’ ‘Well, it would’ve been something, eventually’ ‘Really? I’d inevitably be a screw-up? That’s why you killed me?!’

Scene image: Freddy’s been locked down in the basement, as his uncle’s ghost starts to take over. Grabs a sledgehammer from the corner of the room, and begins to smash up the floor of concrete. The feeling of rage becomes more intense, reaching a feverish pitch. The first bit of clothing is spotted, and the tool is thrown aside. Freddy uses his hands to clear away rubble, tearing skin, breaking fingernails. When bone is spotted, Freddy slowly looks up the staircase, if looks can kill. He lets out an unearthly scream.

There’s banging on the door to the basement. The crew stares in horror at the sounds that come from the other side. The wood rattles on its hinges. white fights to get to the door, being held back by some of the others. Finally, though, he breaks free, and tries for the door. It’s locked, he doesn’t have the key. Suddenly, and without warning (LOL) a hand bursts through the door. Bloodied fingers reach for anything and everything. One of the other guys, maybe Brown, comes rushing forward with a knife. four of Freddy’s fingers go flying, and he screams. It’s just Freddy again, and Larry wants desperately to get to him. “Please, help me.” Freddy whispers, “Don’t you want to help me?” and oh Larry does, he can taste the desperation on his tongue. “Don’t you love me?” Something about it doesn’t sit right with him, and Larry asks, “Who are you talking to?” “My darling nephew, of course.” and the fingers lift off of the ground into Freddy’s awaiting hand, sealing back into place with bloody seams for sutures.

STORY STRUCTURE: Main chapter is in the present (1992) and the ends of chapters are in the past, maybe a mix of the uncle and Vic’s POV’s.

ENDS OF CHAPTERS: One: Vic meeting the likes of Larry and the uncle for the first time, lying about his age. Larry’s meant to take Vic under his wing, and the uncle’s deemed to bad of an influence.

Two: Vic is on his own, and has made a big mistake. He feels too much shame to call Larry, so he gets ahold of the uncle. The latter tells the former not to worry about it, he’ll take the heat. He’s the company screwup, he can take another hit.

Three: Joe, Larry, Vic and the uncle are on a trip up to the uncle’s cabin. Larry and Vic are last-minute additions, and Joe’s low-key pissed about it. When they arrive at the cabin, the uncle starts reacting badly to one of the drugs he took. They rush him inside, Larry taking charge in trying to save him. Joe keeps insisting that Larry leave for help, for a guy Joe knows, all to send him on a wild goose chase. When Larry’s gone, Vic is ordered to help Joe dispose of the uncle’s body. ‘But Larry’s getting help’ ‘The bastard’s dead. Nothing more to do for him’ Cut to the uncle waking up.

Four: The uncle wakes up, from his POV, and recognizes what’s being done, that Joe’s getting ready to make him disappear. He starts to freak out, to which Joe hits him, again and again, finishing what he’d started. Vic asks why, and Joe explains that the last straw was the uncle’s most recent screw-up, AKA Vic’s screw-up. They get the uncle in concrete before Larry gets back.

Freddy and Uncle bonding moments: Freddy may not have had a rebellious phase, but he did have an uncle that satisfied his curiosity. First drink, first smoke. Each time Freddy’s caught, uncle would just say “I won’t tell if you won’t tell.” Sneaking some vodka from his uncle’s stash, making a face and an exaggerated gagging sound, he’s interrupted by Uncle turning on the light, and Freddy has to just barely stop himself from spilling the plastic bottle. Uncle says, “Thanks for the save. I’d be more pissed if you wasted any.” Isn’t mean at all, trying to be sarcastic more than anything else. First smoke, and Freddy panics, remembering their first talk about not liking any wastage, just holding the smoldering smoke a few inches away from his face, terrified. Uncle just sits right there beside him, gets out his own cig, does a few puffs, asks if the kid wants to see a trick. Freddy, not sure if it’s a trap, slowly nods. Uncle then proceeds to show Freddy how to blow smoke rings. Maybe cut to the present and have Freddy doing this same action, White getting a kick out of it.

[I did make an attempt at including Vic/Freddy in this fic, but it didn't pan out/was too weird considering how long Vic and Larry have known each other. What's really funny is that, despite removing the few references to it from the story, at least one person was able to pick up on it XD Essentially Vic/Freddy is a very tiny Draft #3]

Parallel between Freddy and VIc: Sense of survivor’s guilt. Freddy had been in an accident where a driver had a stroke/heart attack and hit Freddy’s parked car. Freddy was really hurt, had to retire from the PD, and the other guy died. On top of all this, his former coworkers are paranoid and convinced that the dead driver did this on purpose, as Freddy was on-duty and in his squad car. They harass the surviving family members, and Freddy’s pissed when he finds out. They’ve just taken up this cause in his name and are making people suffer with it, and don’t give a fuck about what Freddy wants/would do. On Vic’s end, feeling guilty for surviving when Matthew died for Vic’s fuckup, and Vic witnessing first-hand what could have easily been done to himself. Trauma bonding! [what's interesting is that I hate the concept of martyrdom, so it's a little odd to dip into it here, but weirdly cathartic. A fun little addition is that, in the story, Freddy feels like he might as well have died in that accident, not only because it's another instance of being surrounded by death, but also because his coworkers have martyred him, and are treating him like he's already gone, twisting his accident into something it never was]

Towards the end of the story (draft #2) They’re supposed to be at the cabin for two weeks, then ditch Freddy on the road so he can walk the rest of the way. So, it comes as a hell of a surprise when, at dinner, Freddy starts freaking out, asking what they put in his food and drink. White is terrified because it reminds him a lot of what happened with Matty, and he knows that Freddy knows this, too, and that it’s probably adding to the kid’s panic. Joe just calmly remarks that it’s a sleeping aid, while Larry knows fucking better. Wants to take him to a hospital. Joe says no, they’re leaving, and that the kid will be out for several hours, so they can a head start. Larry is stunned, because Joe gave a longer timeline, gave his word, knew about what happened to the uncle all those years before. Joe gives Larry a choice; either Larry carries the kid down to the basement, or he has Vic throw him down from the top of the stairs. Larry makes to carry Freddy out the front door, when he’s knocked out. Coming to, he sees Eddie and Vic arguing, and Eddie shove Freddy down the stairs. A sickening snap, and Larry’s heart breaks.

Why Joe goes back on his word: Throughout the week, there’s multiple appearances of Matty that’s mistaken for Freddy. This time, it involves Joe waking in the middle of the night, seeing a figure standing outside the window, staring at him. There is no face, and Joe does his best to not look at it, terrified, then realizes, by the clothes, it must be Freddy. Looks down, sees the bag of loot beside him. Looks back up, and the figure is gone. He now thinks Freddy knows what they’ve got, might be looking to take it for himself. The next day, when he asks Larry, Freddy’s designated guard, if Freddy got out last night, he of course says no. ‘Are you sure? What about when you were asleep?’ Usually, Freddy’s on the couch and Larry sleeps in the chair, except last night, it would’ve been impossible for Freddy to sneak out; he and Larry fucked and cuddled together, falling asleep just like that. Larry doesn’t say all that, to not get either of them in trouble, and just says he knows for certain Freddy didn’t get out. This lack of detail leads to Joe being convinced of his earlier assumption.

Thrown down the stairs; the ultimate nightmare become reality. Has Hill House done it first? Yes. But, this ain’t sleep paralysis, so it’s just different enough. Freddy, fully paralyzed this time, can only blink, breathe, swallow, talk a little. Can’t move otherwise. His Uncle appears to him again, and says he can help him, but that king of power is costly. Freddy’s going to die, elsewise. Life for a life, help me kill Joe Cabot. Freddy doesn’t know who this is, because everyone’s using a codename. Matt takes it as, ‘so you want to hear my backstory?’ and we get the final (second-to-last?) flashback, of Vic and Joe in the basement with Matty’s body.

Creepy instance in chapter three: Brown, the cautious believer, sees ‘Freddy’ staring out the window. tries calling to him, but he doesn’t respond. Brown just goes to get some water, turns around, and Freddy’s gone… back to the couch. Sound asleep. He describes it to a POV character the next morning, and is brushed off as working himself up with all the local ghost nonsense.

Creep for chapter four roughly: Again, at night. but this time it’s Larry. He’s up, coming back from taking a piss or something. Goes by the kitchen, where he sees Freddy in his day clothes, bent over, front half hidden by the island counter. There’s the sound of pots and pans being shuffled about, but strangely Larry sees nothing moved, even as ‘Freddy’ motions something being moved. He tries asking what the kid’s looking for, getting silence. A few more words, and Freddy asks, sitting up on the couch, ‘who are you talking to?’ There’s the sound of something being unlatched, and the form begins to stand. Larry thinks he sees it out of the corner of his eye, his blood running cold, but it’s gone the moment he turns.

[next part will cover draft #1]

#reservoir dogs #fanfic #writers #writing #extras #nerdy shit #behind the scenes

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unialien · 3 months

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💎🌌🔥🧬 Adrex Trans - Repturriam Species Reference Concept Sheet Ver 2.0

⚠️Warning: Biological, Blood & Full Nudity Models⚠️

💙PLEASE SUPPORT MY PROJECT GUYS BY GIVING ❤️ , 🔄 & 💬. YOU CAN ALSO STAY TUNE FOR MORE BY FOLLOWING ME ➕❤️ THANK YOU🙏💙

Salutation guys! 🤩😊👋✨️ After nearly a decade of no new update, new changes and improvements for very long long time, it is finally here in 2024 and since it's my 30 years bday anniversary, it is proud to present... The new improved look... Version 2.0 of my main OC of my project, Adrex Trans as the Repturriam currently horrayyyy!! 💙🌌🔥🔥🔥 Witness see all of my main character design behind the story and all about this species biological and anatomical aspects and & some history behind it 🙌✨️ I have been extremely working so hard in the past months since after my art improving and everything thanks to a lot of inspos I been falling in love, I been gratefully happy for all of my effort been doing 🥹😭🙏💙✨️✨️✨️ And this I'll be extremely an exclusive high definitive quality and much details and focus reading about my OC 🌟 This everything it's available right here or on my Tumblr page for the entire story 📑 All wips and separate illusts for much closer look I'll be available in one of my platforms at the links below here at the description 📖 Further notice, one of the small illust interactive concepts in my gallery I'll be deleted without warning since it is now added since it was part of my planning to be at the sheet ❌️ So for those if they get worried that it's gone, that was me guys, so do not worry, it is better because I don't wanna duplicate off, and it's best to delete for good 👍✨️ Like I said again I'll be the separate ones in one of my social medias ✴️ Plus... Keep an eye out that I'll be added patiently some videos progress in one of my platforms 🎬🎞 Be updating up this post once added some stuffs, in any if I need changes and error I left if need to fix, I'll try to update fix up if needed 🛠 It is quite possible if something occurs and I need to add something in the sheet, I'll notif up you guys ✳️ Anyway, we hope you guys enjoy this insane, pure scifi anime theme with so much biological spectacular visual sheet I been working forever to bring you guys all the way to 2024! This is definitely a huge celebration for me guys! 🥹😭😍🥳🎉🎊✨️✨️✨️ So enjoy so much the new upgrade improve sheet of Adrex Trans! 💙🔥🔥🔥

💠Introduction

"In this sheet, after almost of decade without update, I had to recreate and improvise on doing my main character design named Adrex Trans as an unknown extinct alien species that he became; I named my original alien species, the Repturriam. To intro up, I would like show specifically about the character and biological anatomy aspect of this species. Plus some personality and characteristics surely that demonstrate the main character. I know this character I haven't show his true look since he was once a human before he become, perhaps we get to see in the next part in development. Since after long years has been quite of changes in my character after I been learning things of anime in most Dragon Ball franchise since this was my childhood thing I loved. This is not just the anime, some Sci-fi games I feel in love with it brought me huge inspiration to create this character, such as like Metroid franchise. With the help of it, I have improvise up behind the art, a bit of art style, but I still have my own thing sorta a mix. Anyhow, let's talk about as professional as possible about the main character of the story. There gonna be 4 parts, the character behind the story, the bio aspects, dialogues and conclusion. Personally, this was my very first character I designed early times before the finalization design which it was sorta a pet project since the beginning. Without waiting long, let's give the best to bring this character alive!"

🔷️ The Character

Adrex Trans it's the protagonist and hero of the story. Supposedly, he was previously biologically a human being in the past not long ago before something shockingly happen on his journey in the far distance Solar System. When he visit Elelix XL81 along with the expedition, the entire team was attacked by unknown enemy force and he got separated along with his sister Damara. Before the incident, he received a SOS from this planet, a huge coincidence came from the old book that brought from it. He as an Explorer Hunter decided for a long journey to the mysterious planet. During a way out to the ruins of a lost civilization, an accident came through upon he discovered something big and so he became an unknown alien species. According to what he remembered, he was at some kind of embryo and not long he lost conscious upon a horrendous experience he gone through that his body could not tolerate. It was a blur memory for him and a bit he felt that went out of control and he felt that he's no longer human for now. And so his journey begins after realizing the alien in his blood and book it's huge reason why came to this planet, to solve the mystery of the disappearance of the species that it's on him. And not just for that concern, he also wanted to find out who were those things that attacked his team and so he vow to bring to justice; whoever are they, if there trying threat the planet, he'll make a promise to secure this world from them.

🔵 BIO

For the protagonist, uniquely he’s the only one who witnessed the appearance of the Repturriam species when he become at the ancient lab of Zephyron. The only question is, why him? It is unknown of what happen to the people of Elelix XL481 that gone extinct for millions of years since the dawn of the dinosaurs back on Earth. Evidence tell’s it is related connections to the dominant of the reptiles and known humanity. This could consider a powerful supreme species of the entire galaxy. For millions of years later, the main character Adrex Trans upon making discovery about the people since he ventured to the deep of Zephyron, it was all about there were incredibly intelligent and powerful species that been having such ancient advance technologies and such beautiful cultures that no one knows. However, he have been questioning to happen to them really? During and afterwards in the prologue, when the accident came to him after escaping the hoard of the unknown alien machines, he never fully understood what just happen since he became an unknown alien species that he never witness before within the reflection. He been extremely confused, with many needed answers that need to find and in shocked with some fear surprising he never expect to happen.

Biologically, when he checked the lab, he found some docs and strange ancient computers that been monitoring for 24 hrs daily basis, it was overwatched since during his slow pain experience he been through inside the embryo pod. His symptoms were... agitation, burning sensation through inside his body, even he fell his inside of his chest felt unbearably painful because he got stabbed by some cables and with large accumulation he felt liquid through his body. He learned that it was a transfusion that he's bonded and that's how he got turned. The transformation process was insanely uncontrollably painful and just few moments he lost conscious, he couldn't remember the rest since afterwards though. But he saw along with his sister and Ralyx since he awoke, the recording was extremely shocking that he really became an alien species that he never meet before. He's been having hard time to accept reality that he's no longer a human for the time being. However, Ralyx just saw a doc that there's a reason on why him. It is because of the book that got responded to him and the access to the place to no one been able to open that leaded right to the "lab facility". Because he's became the "Chosen One", the doc tells that if someone who can possess the last of their kind shall be able to find the others and put the end of the last extinction. If this is true, but why it has to be him? So many questions that needs to bring the light! However, he felt his heart, after what happen to his fellow expedition team that were killed by an unknown force, he wants to redeem itself that want justice, that he wanted to know who they are and why the came to this planet? It seems that he had destiny that he'll promise to find answers and to protect whatever who they are with his essence inside. He learned that they been called... the Repturriam, as Ralyx have told to him and the journey will begin for him.

🩻 Characteristics & Functions

Adrex Trans it's bonded in possession of transfused preserved ancient blood that he transformed into an extinct species known as the Repturriam. The fact that his transformation clearly it's mixed with his Human DNA with the Repturriam DNA, it classified as a Trans Hybrid species knowing he became a hybrid of both as a unique look that doesn't appeared in ancient historical records of this extinct people of Elelix XL481. He's 6' or 6' 1" feet tall on average evidence that the size species has. It is still unknown if this is the same original species of this planet, but DNA suggest because he's bonded with the Reoniban blood, there probably much advance mixed version of his current last known Repturriam species. [1] He has a long tail that length about 4' 6" long. [2] Uniquely all Repturriam's has sensoring organs like frilled type and has a bit pointed ears hidden camouflage surrounded around his hair behind his sensoring organs. It has an excellent hearing, but extremely weak on high pitch frequent sound that can go insanely weak and can drive him madly uncontrollably bad. The good thing are useful to detect presence and can change modes of using also his eye pupils to detect thermal and can see abnormalities. [3] For some of this species, his known crystalline horns imbues of Reoniban near his sensoring organs. This is an important part where those horns can potentially be use as an indicator that if by presence of abnormalities, his horns can flicker light up and if closer it get, the intense can radiate. However for this horns, it won't stay on since for safety since can be sharp, this horns can melt up and going in the head back when it's on passive, but when need, the hormones will start to react and regrow back. [4] Exclusively his nose for all this species has an aspect a bit of primate, but with dragonoid with bit of pit viper like. The olfatory it's so sensitive that can smell within long distance and with the pit with the help of his sensoring organs and eye sights can sense many things unlike other ordinary ones. [5] Another unique aspect it his strange orb like gem that all this species has. It is extremely unknown what the purpose of his forehead gem has, the only evidence it's that if someone dies, an alternative that can preserve it's soul and memories inside the gem, and the entire body vanish like dust. Evidently he's the only one that got unique powers that it's unknowingly known if this are original abilities from the past that he currently has & the appearance species. Further research from the main HQ it's required to learn more of this potent species that could change the entire universe.

[6] He has the same dark blue cerulean hair color originally in his human form. The only difference it his hair type it's a bit long, spiky fluffy and in the end has curly fluffier look. However not to be confused up that because of this species has a bit elongate cranium aspect and this is a reason why his hair it's goes wavy up tide but bit up spiked. Basically all Repturriam species in evidence has a bit elongated cranium type. [6a] For the main character, his entire back part it's coveres with fluffy spiky curly fur hairs. The top front it's has a V shape look and has a length of 3" long in the top and goes down for at least 0.5". [6b] Down to the entire top of his buttock that start his tail it's covered also his fur hairs. [6c] Next in the middle part of his tail has mild fur hairs & by the end of his tail has much fluffier spiked curly puffing fur hair like a brush aspect. His hair and fur are no ordinary cosmetic beauty, the keratin hairs contains sensitivity parts that anything that may feel emotional and if high stress level occurs, his hair & fur can alter puff up and may slightly move itself. Reducing stress can soften up his hair and slow a bit back to normal.

[7] He has golden like yellow color eyes, original that's the same eye color when he was human. His unique eye type has a mix of between canine, cat and dragon pupil; but it leaves having human pupil type, reason because the pupil for this species can camouflage hardly to see the outlines in the naked eye which it can allow to change pupil type. Another unique for his eyes for this species since he's bonded with the Reoniban Blood can allow his eyes to glow turquoise color and in the emotional extreme stress can give a huge glow reaction. Depending how he manage to control his pupils, it can vary by his emotional behavior that can alter his pupils.

He has an aspect like primate more or less with bit of human, it has a looks reptilian dragonoid however he does not have scales, only some bumps and front have more or less human skin. It is also have a mix of amphibian skin that has some moist only in the arms, legs and tail; however noting a bit of moist in front part of bit of human skin sorta. It's color skin & aspect it's average colorful that look like a poison dart frog with a mix of newt. The colors it's between mostly the sensor organs like ears but not ears, his arms, legs and his tail it's marine dark purple blue. Within darken parts has those bumpy like dark patches that are not actually scales, but large random different sizes of spot patches covering mostly those dark body parts; although his patches are also found a bit on his front part of his cream soft skin. This is the mayor part that it's hue with light blue through front ending tip that it's human skin cream color like that locate in his face through his front part to the entire tail. A lot the darker parts it's where he has blue stripes with uniquely known species to have bioluminous stripes that he can glow in reactions if it's by emotions or during no light event. Even in his face and front body have bioluminous stripes covered. [8] One of the most known aspect of Adrex it his permanent scar that left behind in his right eye and this is the only side that doesn't have a bioluminous stripe.

Both arms and legs got extreme flexibility that he has a huge potential to stretch, including his body when limit reach depending how much consume his Reoniban Blood. [9] His hands and feets digits are light grey blue color that there like frog aspect that are allow for climbing. Both hands in their palms has a decorated natural scar that believe it where can deploy powers by consuming Reoniban Blood that connects to it. [10] His left hand apparently it's the only side in the front part where it has his natural tattoo like icon imprint on to it. [11] Not only his hand, but in his back has his different tattoo icon that seems to represent his symbol of this main species. One extremely intriguing part, that his back side it's covered hardly see patches of holes, where it seems where it located his Reoniban Reserve Organ. This is the most extraordinary anatomy perspective to where it believes that he leak his own Reoniban blood and grew extreme fast rate of highly hazardous sharp Reoniban crystals, possibly for self defense use and it can definitely remove his own crystals as weapons or tool need.

His abilities it's still unknown though, but in the beginning he became, he became clearly out of control like going feral and he has no recollection of his memory recently except the time in fragmented parts in the mid process of turning into this mysterious Repturriam alien species. However upon the intense battle of dangerous swarms of crratures, he lost conscious and he maintain stable & control. He cannot tell how he gotten strong after fighting does things. However in the route find way out of Zephyron, he had figure it out since automatically got the instinct of this species handling. It has a potent strength and having this transformation bonded gained combat martial ability to fight and defend itself against dangerous foes. He even have incredible flexibility like no other species which it's a super rare ability to stretch his body. Another ability it he has such amazing ability, he can climb such complex obstacles and climb on walls thanks to their grippy texture on his hands and feet when touching surfaces. Even a mid damage, he has super strength that it would be hard for certain stuffs to not take too much damage, however in a mayor damage, I can't die to easily. Noting if a potent attack get serious, it can seriously get badly injuries. One of the most shocking ability it's to regen any injured parts, even serious damage like broken bones or ripped parts and even an organ damage up can regenerate up in seconds up to a minute max up. When he went on visit to the main HQ, he discovered on why he can regen up instantly and non stop; because he has huge organ beside his heart and lungs that connects his entire body bonding and giving needs to survive. It's a Reoniban Reserve Organ that stores this element mixed with his blood that allows to recover health even in the event in near death can guarantee heal up instantly. And one and lastly, his natural unique cloaking power that possess his skin of this species that allows to blend the environment. Not only to blend, but allow within full function that can go complete invisible in the naked eye if emit emotion of fear or the increase of stress non anger. If using and practicing enough, can use correctly enough to go invisible without any trouble but by limit of time that has endurance of up to an hour. Another potential power is to summon and manipulate everything that contain Reoniban sources in the forces of nature of Elelix XL481. With his psychic supernatural powers, it can cast summon within the earth large Reoniban Crystals as defense and even so many unlimited uses to traverse obstacles, it is one of his mayor powers his essence contain of the Repturriam.

🟢 Personalities

Adrex Trans it's consider in positive aspect of been determine, kind, gentle, precaution, silly, independent and some cases... love interest. In the time he became this species, his personalities has changed a bit. Which he can be can go feral and occasionally go aggro if their friends are in danger or in a point of critical in danger of health due of this species nature because of the ancient DNA pre historical early ones were a bit savage but intelligent. However it is not extremely the case since the current of being a hybrid, it is highly controllable the fact it also contain the last era before this species was extinct that time of the Phazon War. Since he's an Trans Hybrid Human/Repturriam species, his personalities somewhat can go silly, sometimes in certain personal stuffs that can go awkwardly it can get so embarrassing with sometimes a bit of anger. His having problems of having drowsiness that he never had it before, so in most nights, even in the mornings he's so sleepy. He has a huge addict comfort of been sleeping on soft cosy bed or in some place he don't mind sleeping in some natural sleep spot. He does love having surrounding of peaceful nature where he can focus and relax. In his Repturriam transformation, he been having strange sensations something he never experienced early on and later future like mostly when going to a bath tube or in a shower, something un-describing he can't tell. (Note this part cannot be reveal since it's RESTRICTED) Unlike humans, Repturriam's can be quite sensitive of having extreme emotional feelings and can change hue colorations. The body sensitivity for this species in behavior can get quite weakly in certain conditions like most the fact of love, sleeping and other sensations that could get difficult. He love to be hugged to someone dearly like his friends and even more when comes to true love and caring. In his love interest, just after few months she meet Ralyx Aran, he's been having trouble containing his feelings and he's seems to be been keeping eyes on her like he's definitely doesn't want to let anything happens to her. He get crazy blush with embarrassment that he always run away or cloak himself that it his natural Repturriam power. However in circumstance he get in control when things get serious and get focus on his quests. He mostly in facing the Xikzons, knowing that a lot of times those things attack her, he's sacrifice itself on trying to save her. Because of his regen powers, it doesn't matter if he gets badly hurt, he always says I'm ok, but in doubt she always kept telling to not punch too much, she get so worried on why he's doing this. He's been having trouble hiding his feelings towards her, and he haven't stop thinking about her ever since a few months later after reaching to the capital Repharon City. In dangerous circumstances, in battles when things get rusty, he could get some much feral like beastly behavioral. However, most of the battle in during the story, he's quite tactical, because of his powers of the Repturriam, he had confidence of how it can handle this situations. He's had quite of knowledge of a average history he had learned back in the HQ, quite intelligent, knows about the martial arts and certain ancient arts since his training back since he was a teen. He have a weak spot of having emotional feelings that wants to cry when something terrible happens to their friends or much more to the one he loves. Even becoming this species, he mostly have his human instinct of living normally as always and he's been so resourceful and helpful. He hate extreme heat so much when going to some desert because of the alien species, he get extremely dehydrated and so weak, he need to get water in order to survive. The character behavioral it's one of the most unique ones and been quite special since he got the egocentric of both side of been normal and been the side of this species.

🟦 Dialogues

"I always thought that the book that my grandfather gave was just some stories, but I really believe him so since I been taking curriculum of becoming a great Explorer Hunter to uncover and reveal up history that no one knows in cultures and everything that lies in the galaxy."

"When I awoke up so weak, I realized that all this time, it was destiny that brought me all the way here to this planet. I didn't know what to do next when everything happen so fast. I have the blood of an alien being that I have no knowledge about it, but I have the strength to find out and solve the mystery of people that went missing for long time!"

"I cannot be afraid on what I become, but it is feels so odd being an alien, still after all the struggle, pain and fear in the process that I didn't anticipate. This changes everything and if I wanna know the truth of everything on this planet, I need to solve it! And I wanna know this unknown enemy force that it's bringing threat on the entire planet of this species! I have my debt to accomplish, I will follow my destiny!"

🔘 Conclusion

"To conclude up, this was definitely a big dream come true to come to remake upgrade up a highly improved character that should been done years ago. Despite the fact I never planned until the last years since I brought huge attention returning rewatching some iconic anime that I never got to watch many years since my childhood. This is how after learning so much about anatomy and everything for the world of anime for large case in Dragon Ball franchise, this was my biggest inspiration along with most scifi and fantasy genre in certain medias & video games. Together since my large improvement, with the illusts I have brought for the main character, had let me the knowledge and willpower of creativity to bring it alive after long near decade to accomplish. If it wasn't for the anime, I never have grown my improvement, because it was the way to go back on designing characters for most part for the main one. I have reached far and very proud to what I have created the character I have been dreaming since I been designing early times since school. I hope we can enjoy this special unique blue fluffy one I have made with so much love, justice, and mystery to protect the galaxy from dark ones."

Made on Ibis Paint X and on Procreate. Edited on Photoshop. Used on iPad 6th Gen. Used on Gaming PC Omen 25L.

All designs created by me. @unialien.

💙 Support my art & my project for more here: https://linktr.ee/unialien

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birthehansen71 · 6 months

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Who am I

I am a Danish woman. Earlier this year I achieved to get early retirement even when there are many years to retirement.

My health failed me and new rules from the Danish government means that I cannot be sent to a job for 4 hours per week as it would be too expensive

I am kind of relieved. The anxiety caused by the loss of a public holiday and the I am kind of relieved. The anxiety caused by the loss of a public holiday and the uncertantity connected to the possibility to lose more made my work life unbearable.

A little about my life. I was born in Sandby near Nakskov in the southern part of Denmark. During my childhood the future became distant for the population in my part of Denmark with the industry moving away. Today the area I live in, is known as "The Rotten Banana" because there are no jobs here beside the public ones.

Moving away has never been the question. Moving to another part of Denmark has never been a question. My family here is an old family. When you look at the gravestones locally and it you consult the church registers, you will find that my family has lived here for 4-5 generations. I will never be able to find comfort in another part of Denmark. In fact traveling to work 10 kilometers away started by anxiety issues which led to my premature departure from the work environment. I like a town where we know each other and we shut our doors and windows when unknown cars and people enter the town.

Now I have finally reached my goal in life and can await God to claim me which is almost something I wish for.

The food has become very expensive and I do not own a car. I sold it some years ago because like the famous Danish soccer player Bendtner says it is too easy to lose the car after they made the new confiscation laws.

When I was young, I had dreams but with the local jobs gone, none have money to buy anything and living in a country which is the original foundation for the law of Jante, I will not stick out by earning a lot of money only to discover that the taxes would be so high, that it will not make sense.

Something, people try to highlight their part of the world as some place where they have it bad. I state that they are wrong. Denmark is the country where life conditions on the life are worst!

Anyhow, that is all what I had for now. Please check up if you want to read my next update.

#Denmark #Nakskov #life #retirement #anxiety

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natsunoomoi · 9 months

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Honestly, I think togashi used the term child to emphasis the fact that hiei is around the same age as yusuke and since hiei's character is based on the chuunibyou, I guess he must be around 13 - 14 when he first fought yusuke, in the three kings saga it was mentioned quite a few times that hiei is really young as he didn't knew much about the three kings and thought it was a fairytale. Personally I feel that yukina has the same level of maturity as hiei, I don't think her living with the ice maidens made her better at communicating with people cuz unlike hiei, yukina doesn't really have many close friends besides kuwabara in the manga, while hiei has yusuke, kurama and mukuro. Anyhow, yukina is hiei's twin sister, since togashi already called hiei a child there's no reason for him to call yukina a child too. Like you said hiei's development might have been stunted because of the circumstances but gaining friends made him mature by the end. I know i said too much but i find the idea of hiei and yukina being the same age as the rest of the yyh group really interesting imo it makes the perfect sense, don't you think?

I'm not sure if it's interesting, as much as it just is and people are different.

Also, you don't have to have friends to know how to socialize. Even if everyone around you is hostile and you don't like your hometown, you learn how to socialize and be civil with the people around you. That kind of thing happens normally all the time. LGBT child grows up in the Bible belt countryside of the US with everyone around them, or at least most people around them, spewing hateful things about them. They are a child that is waiting and biding their time for their chance, their opportunity, to leave to go somewhere safer where they are free to be themselves. Even in that kind of a situation, you do learn to communicate better, but in a very specific way. I think you're greatly underestimating how much socialization a person can get from simply being around other people even if those other people suck.

Yukina is a very kind person, but her kindness is probably fostered by Rui who likely cared for her in her mother's absence. While Rui didn't actively act against the wishes of their leader or their people, it's made very clear that she agrees more with Hina and was not happy about throwing Hiei off. Rui very likely raised Yukina in a certain way, that allowed her to grow kindness, but at the same Yukina had to be around to be around everyone else in their home who is cold. She has to survive, so she also knows and learns how to have a certain level of outward politeness even if inside she holds deep resentment. That kind of outward attitude is also very Japanese and a trademark of Japanese customer service. The customer could be the most raving bitch of a Karen, and you still have to smile through it and pick your words precisely to balance what the customer wants and what you want/are able to provide, which can go up to doing things that outwardly seem humiliating, but are designed to bring the others' guard down so that you don't have to do something else more important. It's a game of social chess, and it's a thing that Hiei cannot do because he grew up in wildlands and after early childhood didn't spend that much time with the bandits that took him in.

Hiei in contrast is very blunt and straight and wouldn't have been in any place where people would talk or gossip. Even then for surviving purposes, he would fundamentally be uninterested in people's gossip, so the Three Kings wouldn't be a thing that made sense for him to know about and would logically become a fairytale to him because he spent so much time in the woods among the trees alone. Like he straight up is just not in situations or circles where he would find out actual news about them because he stayed away from everyone at a certain point.

Relatively though, you would know who's the leader of the place you're in, but beyond that it's of little significance to his everyday life. That's also a kind of life that probably people in 2024 now aren't aware of as much because the internet connects us all so much. But before fast communication, the common farmer or regular lay person could not give a shit about who the leader was in the castle or whatever. It's true in every country prior to modern communication and the printing press. Whatever the leader did, did not matter because their big decisions for the country didn't affect their everyday life. It's likely Hiei knew that the Three Kings existed, but it's more that he didn't know or needed to care about whatever issues they had between them because it was irrelevant to what he needed to do to live.

Yukina on the other hand is able to show her caution and able to handle difficult social situations mainly through her conversation with Hiei about "finding her brother". She might be a kind person, but that conversation in particular shows that she does have hidden strength and "darkness" (not the right word, but I can't think of the right one atm) of her own. I recall also, during her time at Tarukane, she tried to be cold to him and not allow him to get gems so easily, but like instead he killed people that helped her, killed her bird friends, etc. Other beings are essentially hostages since she can't be attacked directly to get the gems, and I think I recall Toguro being brought in specifically because they couldn't get gems out of her recently. Yukina shows a number of times she has skills to pivot her reactions to different kinds of people, and that is a social skill and a kind of maturity that Hiei doesn't have. It is also a kind of maturity that adults in Japan have, but kids do not as they are straight and blunt don't know how to "read the room" or observe other kinds of Japanese subtlety. The adults in their life and their parents teach this to them. They fundamentally do not have the same level of maturity as Hiei acts like a child that never learned how to do that, and that's more that what he means. You're taking the "child comment" way too literally to fit what you want and ignoring Yukina's skills and achievements to serve what you want to be true about Hiei.

Other than the above, Yukina's also just more able to join in on activities with Yusuke & Co, while Hiei in contrast is still looking out of a window and largely ignoring what's going on. It's not necessarily that he's completely uninterested, but it's probably really awkward for him so he'd rather be a bit away from the group instead of joining in and maybe looking stupid or whatever. Being able to join in with new people and dive into new experiences is a kind of socialization skill. It can come naturally to some people, but it also takes some practice. Yukina had to survive in her home, but she also befriended animals which are skittish and run away. Being more approachable takes practice and is something Yukina has from not staying away from interactions. Hiei basically focusing on survival for most of his life and was alone is not able to really navigate that kind of situation.

Also, I don't know if it's a translation error on the part of the interpretation from the translator in the English version, but I have the Japanese version of the chapter where Hiei says that he "thought it was just a fairytale" and in Japanese it's ambiguous actually whether or not he thought the Three Kings themselves were a fairytale, or rather the war between them was a fairytale. I've never read any translations. I have the whole series in Japanese and I can read it. He's comments in that page is that he's "heard about the feud between the Three Kings", and then in the next panel says that the thought it was just a fairytale. It doesn't say it was specifically about the Three Kings' existence, but more about their struggle for power. That can be a sign of youth, but only because youkai live for hundreds of years and if you are younger than the last time there was a war or significant conflict, hearing that nations don't get along is like a fairytale. If that nuance was taken out of the English translation, I don't know what to tell you. It's for that reason I don't really rely on translations so much. I've made translations of my own, and there's a lot of compromises made to the text to get the gist of it so that you can get it on screen or in a box readable that I genuinely feel bad for English speaking fans because they are *missing* so much context and nuance that was also there in the same sentence.

For a modern day example, right now we have a number of wars/horrific things happening in the world. For a lot of people who are younger right now, they were not alive when this conflict started and do not understand the history. There's a lot of misinformation going on about who's at fault and why, and it's easy to get misled if you don't know the history of how it started. I had the fortune of having a history teacher in high school that taught me the history and it's a fucked up situation for everyone, and basically everyone sucks. It's also a mess that we as the newer generations in the world inherited because the creators of the original situation were naive and real stupid and tried to solve a "problem" they perceived by ignoring people that exist now for their own agenda. But also because we are a newer generation, there's a lot of people who do not get taught this history and are taught by the adults in their life to blindly support one side or the other hence leading to the clusterfuck screaming match and actual war and war crimes and turbulence we have now. The conflict has been going on so long that people don't remember how it started. Strife and difficulty is just the modern reality, and the start of it and the actual source of the conflict is like a fairytale because it's so far in the past and not talked about.

Back to our source material, Mukuro even asks if he'd heard about their conflict because it'd been 500 years. Like we know Hiei and Yukina are definitely less than 100, so their last conflict was a way long time ago and they were in a stalemate/truce for 500 years. We also don't know how their specific species ages either because they could both be 60 something and we'd never know either, but that'd imply that their trauma and living in strife and difficult situations lasted longer than if they were around the same age as the rest of the crew. That said, their objective reality and lived experience is not one of war and conflict, so hearing that battle is about to break out is like, what? Why? Kurama's comment after Hiei tells him his plan about going to Mukuro's though is that he "wasn't born yet" so "he doesn't know how frightening Mukuro is". There's 500 years of time for him to not know. It's not that he's a literal child or that he's "too young". It's that it literally happened *way* too long ago for him to know about it still being an ongoing grudge and how bad an actual conflict could be.

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white8rabbit9 · 9 months

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I just need a place to rant and pretend someone out there has my answer but—my parents are crazy and while my father is a drug addict, my mother has dropped off the face of the earth since 2020. I haven't had any contact with her since Dec. 30th, 2019. And while my father doesn't have the best clarity, I've reconnected with him on my family roots from his side.

I was pretty sheltered as a kid raised by only my mom. My mom didn't know much about her family roots past her mom(my grandmother). My mom never met her dad. My grandmother always told her that her dad was an already married man with kids. (It was the 70s and my grandparents met at the club) My grandpa dated my grandmother, she got pregnant, then she found out about his family, and shortly after my mom was born my grandpa just left??? The only trace we have of him is his name in my mom's baby book. The only person who knew what this man looked like was my grandmother. But it's been 44 years since she thought about that man🙄😩

Anyhow, I finally got my hands on my mom's childhood photos, birth certificate, documents, etc. Photos and a certificate I've never seen before (my mom was weird about her childhood. Very secretive for no effing reason) and finally I see my grandpa's full name and nickname!!! And it's so weird cause it was in my mom's baby book, not even her certificate.

So now I'm frustrated because since my mom has been gone, I've been trying to reconnect the pieces to the past. My family history is limited and I'm tired of being in the dark. In this life I've lived so far, I've come to learn that if you never acknowledge your history, you're bound to make the same mistakes. I'm lucky enough on my dad's side that we have people who still remember our great grandparents but it's still ass because a certain relative of mine is gate keeping family records to herself.

I think another reason I'm so wrapped up in uncovering the past is because (spirituality) I feel a call to find something. There is something I'm meant to find and I don't know who or what. I know having your future depend on your past isn't exactly encouraged. However that's not what I'm trying to do. I just want tangible evidence of people I'll never see again (or ever).

I'm literally only in my early 20s and my life has been a wild ride to say the least. I didn't grow up knowing who my family really were. So as the next adult in my bloodline I hope to keep a record that the next gen can look to.

So I guess my question at the end of this rant is— ARE THERE ANY RELIABLE PSYCHICS, P. I., OR WITCHES TO HELP A BITCH OUT?

#storytime #personal rant #family history #flamingoclubwherethedevilshowedupiswheremygrandparentsmetsothatshouldgiveyouanideaofhowweirdlifeissmh

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jiminies-ahmee · 3 years

Note

Timestamp request for Jimin plz? 👉🏻👈🏻

Something that goes like he's always there for you, your secure place and your secret corner, so you just wanna make him feel as special as you possibly could, but you're not incredibly creative and lowkey shy fearing going overboard...

Anyhow, I'm sure the prompt is in good hands, I really enjoy your writingg

a/n: thank you so much for the request! i’m not too happy w how this turned out but i hope you like it! and thank you for enjoying my writing hehe <3 - amee

💌 [20:35] park jimin

park jimin was an absolute keeper. not only in the sense that he was someone you’d never want to let go. but in the way that he kept all your deepest secrets, your darkest moments and your greatest desires within his heart.

he was always there.

he was there waiting for you in the parking lot when you got fired from your very first job. he was there when you’d been furiously studying for finals in your last year of college. he was there when your attempt at online dating didn’t go down as planned. and he was there when you drunkenly confessed your love for him since your shared childhood on the balcony of his apartment.

surely, the least you could do was be there for him. and though you were and jimin could never put to words how grateful he was for you, he could always show you. that was his specialty. sticky notes for when he had to leave in the early mornings to dinner made with love after a long day - jimin was fluent in the love language of acts of service. and you wanted to do the same.

which led to your home bathroom dramatically lit with scented candles, and a tub filled to the brim with bubbles (along with some other “bubbles” and two glasses). his raspy voice on the phone just earlier told you jimin had had a tiresome day at the company. but when he arrived home to your little surprise, the brightness of your love brought a little light in his eyes.

“i didn’t want to go overboard, but now i’m thinking maybe i kinda did. i thought about what to do all day and this is honestly the most basic thing. you’re always so good at doing these kinds of things, i just wanted to do it for you for once.” you hurriedly explained, whilst standing awkwardly in the corner of the bathroom. jimin laughed brightly and shuffled towards you with open arms.

“baby, you just being here when i get home gives me the greatest feeling in the world.” he sighs, pulling away only to press of a soft kiss to the tip of your nose. “but you are joining me, right?”

“i-i was just gonna sit by the edge and, um… keep you company.” you stutter with burning cheeks.

“mm, but you can keep me company in the tub, no? it’s nothing you haven’t seen before, baby.”

“jimin!”

requests for timestamps are open!!!

send in a prompt w any member from:

- bts

- ateez

- got7

- monsta x

- nct

- the boys

- stray kids

#amee speaks #request: complete #anons #asks #anon request #jimin #park jimin #jimin blurbs #jimin timestamps #jimin fluff #jimin scenarios #jimin imagines #bts #bts blurbs #bts timestamps #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts scenarios

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wristpockets · 3 years

Note

Can I throw some prompts at you? All fluffy but with potential for Deep Emotional Talks™ if that's what you're after. Anyway: 1. Essek and jester trying to cook/ bake for the first time (two rich kids who have never been in a kitchen while food has been made) lots of potential for comedy but also ways to explore the differences and similarities in their childhoods?? 2. Caleb and Essek teaching each other dances from their homelands, (I feel like Essek probably had to learn formal dances in his youth and absolutely despised them until he realized that dancing with someone you actually like can be fun) Anyhow, happy writing!

Thanks for the suggestions! Going with the first one!

(If anyone else has any fic prompts/ideas/requests feel free to send them my way!)

This kind of got away from me 😅 Ended up a lot longer than expected. Not going to spend too much time proofreading or editing bc this was supposed to be fun. Anyway

Essek is leaning over the railing on the Nein Heroez, a glass of wine in his hand. He can hear the party going on behind him - the rest of the Nein get together every month for dinner - but he needed to get away for a moment. He watches the moonlight reflect off the waves as he swirls the wine in his glass.

He doesn't notice Jester until she's right next to him.

"What's wrong, Essek?" she asks, her voice laden with sincerity and sympathy.

He sighs, takes a long sip of his wine, and says, "I feel inadequate."

"Oh no Essek," Jester says. She moves closer, until she can bump her hip against his. "You're so powerful. And!" She lowers her voice conspiratorially, "I saw the way you floated in Cognouza. You were faster than Caleb, which I think means you're even smarter than he is."

Essek actually smiles at that. Lets out a little laugh. "You're not wrong. But I'm not concerned with my power or intelligence."

"Then how do you think you're inadequate? In what way? Is it-" Jester cuts herself off, looking over at him while wiggling her eyebrows.

"No," he says quickly, his ears heating up. "Everyone else is so..." He looks for the word and comes up blank. "Caleb and I see Beauregard and Yasha for dinner quite often. Yasha will have freshly baked bread, or even cake. Beauregard works all day, and Yasha stays home and cooks."

"I think she's happy though," Jester says.

"I think so too," Essek says quickly. "Caleb works all day too, and I stay home and do nothing." He lets out a little laugh. "I cannot believe this is my problem. Feeling bad that I cannot cook dinner while my - while Caleb is working."

Jester's eyes light up. "Okay," she says. "Okay okay. For our next get together, we're making dessert. Me and you."

Beauregard and Yasha are hosting the next meetup. Essek had collected Jester, Fjord and Kingsley early that morning, to give Jester and Essek time to make dessert.

They sent Caleb and Fjord out of the house and set to work in Caleb's kitchen.

But when Essek takes the third batch of cupcakes out of the oven - burned on the outside, somehow raw inside - he's ready to give up.

"I don't understand what I'm doing wrong," Essek says quietly. He floats there, uselessly, staring at another failed attempt at a fairly simple baked good. "Is this how you normally make them?"

"Hmm?" Jester says, looking over at him. She dips her finger into the frosting she'd been working on. "I've never made cupcakes before."

Essek turns toward her. "What? You've never-"

"Nope," Jester says, matter-of-factly. She puts the icing-covered finger in her mouth, tasting the frosting, before scrunching up her nose. "This is awful."

Essek deflates a little. "So we are currently lacking both edible cupcakes and edible icing."

Even Jester's smile falls. "I'm sorry, Essek."

"It's not your fault," Essek says. "We still have some ingredients - what do you know how to make? What could we make quickly that's simpler?"

Jester looks down at the floor. "I don't know."

"Anything," Essek pleads. "Anything you've baked successfully-"

"I've never baked anything," Jester admits quietly.

"Oh," Essek says.

"Yeah."

Jester turns so her back is to the counter, then slides down, sitting on the floor. "I know how you feel. I feel like I should know how to do this."

Essek floats over, then sits down next to her. He can't bear the look on her face. "Two powerful adventurers, brought low by mere cupcakes," he jokes.

"I wanted to do this," Jester says, still quiet. "I wanted to bake something for everyone, something delicious! Something everyone would eat and say, 'oh Jester, your baking is so delicious,' and then maybe I'm not just the girl who draws dicks on things."

"You're a lot more than that," Essek tries.

Jester nods. "I know. I just feel bad."

"I feel that way too," Essek says. "All this power and knowledge and ability - for what? What good is it doing me here, now? And I know it's not an either-or thing. Caleb cooks. Even Beauregard does sometimes. I've never so much as fried an egg."

"Neither have I," Jester admits. "When I lived at home..."

"I understand," Essek says, and he knows he does.

"It's just embarrassing," Jester says.

"Yes," Essek agrees.

They sit like that for a moment, until they hear the front door open.

"Essek? Jester?" Caleb calls from the entryway. "Am I allowed in the kitchen yet?"

"Not yet!" Jester yells. "Almost done! Fifteen minutes!"

Essek looks at her in shock, and she just shrugs her shoulders.

"I do not possess the arcane ability to create cupcakes," Essek says blankly. "And I am unsure of how else we might make a dessert in that time."

"I panicked," Jester says apologetically. "Maybe some of the cupcakes aren't so bad-"

"They are," Essek says as Jester leans over batch number two, tearing off a piece of cupcake and trying it cautiously. After a few bites she scrunches her nose, then spits it out into the garbage.

"It looked good," Jester pouts. "I can't believe cupcakes would lie to me."

Something connects and Essek can feel his eyes widen. "I have an idea."

Several hours later, Jester and Essek are ready to present their cupcakes to the rest of the Nein. At the very least, they look nice - frosting is apparently close enough to painting for Jester to have some skill at it.

"These look delicious," Caleb says, smiling up at Essek. The compliment in front of their friends makes Essek's cheeks heat up, and he's grateful his complexion doesn't let it show.

"I might need to get some pointers from you," Yasha says as she carefully peels off the cupcake wrapper. "I wish I could frost like this."

"Don't eat that!" Beau shouts, quickly leaning over to slap it out of her hand.

Everyone stops to stare at Beauregard, Yasha's mouth still open, the cupcake discarded on the floor.

"What's wrong, Beauregard?" Essek asks nervously.

"They've been tampered with," she says. She picks up Yasha's dinner plate. "These plates are enchanted. They change colour if any of the food on it is fucked with. A few crumbs fell off of it." She points to a few speckles of bright purple on the plate. "I watched the plate react to the crumbs."

"Tampered with?" Fjord asks. "Tampered how?"

"I don't fucking know, man," Beau says. "It doesn't like, tell me."

"Um," Essek says carefully. "Would a magical alteration to the dish set off that reaction?"

"I should fucking hope so," Beau says, "since that's the whole point."

"In that case," Essek says, shooting Jester a worried look, "then yes, they were tampered with. But they will not harm you."

"Essek," Caleb says, looking at him worriedly.

"It's just prestidigitation," Essek says hurriedly. "We used it to flavour the cupcakes and the frosting." He takes a bite of his own cupcake. "See? They're safe."

"But why?" Veth asks. "Surely it can't be any worse than that fish stew Fjord made us all eat last time."

Essek looks at Jester again, who looks resigned. He waves his hand, dismissing the spell. "See for yourself."

Caleb is the first one that takes Essek up on that, tearing off a piece with his fingers and tasting it. Essek can see Caleb trying very hard to keep his expression neutral. He eventually - with some difficulty - swallows the bite of cupcake. "Ja," he says, eventually. "It's not that bad." He offers Essek a warm smile.

"Well that's obviously a lie," Veth says, pushing her plate a few inches away from her.

"Sorry guys," Jester says. She's looking down at the table and looks absolutely lost. "We just wanted to make something nice."

"Have either of you ever baked anything, ever?" Veth asks, picking up a tiny piece of the cupcake and trying it. "This is awful. I love you Jessie, but who taught you to bake?"

Jester looks too crestfallen to answer. "Both of us are, ah, new to this," Essek admits instead.

"Maybe cooking lessons are in order," Fjord says. "I used to cook on the ship, back when I was getting started. I could show you a few things, Jester."

Jester nods, still looking down at the table.

"And I could teach you," Caleb says to Essek.

"That would be appreciated," Essek says.

"Okay," Jester says. She sighs, then looks up at everyone. Forces a smile. "Okay. Me and Essek are going to learn how to cook, and then we'll make something for next time."

"Maybe not cupcakes," Beau says.

"Maybe nothing for anyone who complains about my baking again," Jester retorts.

"There are some desserts from Rosohna I'd like to recreate, if possible," Essek says. "If I can find a recipe."

"That sounds nice," Caduceus says.

"I am not much for sweets, but I do like some of the ones in Rosohna," he continues. "They're, ah, made with cinnamon. I don't think they do that here in the Empire."

"They don't!" Jester almost yells, smiling. "I know! It's crazy!"

#essek thelyss #jester lavorre #shadowgast #i guess?

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ikeromantic · 4 years

Photo

Future-Speak

A Mitsuhide Akechi fanfic, approx. 2500 words of pure fluffiliciousness.

First: Mitsuhide and the Maiden

Previous: An Uncertain Alliance

The inn was on the outskirts of Kyoto. It wasn’t as comfortable as the room they’d left behind, but Mitsuhide would not introduce dangerous allies to one of his safe havens. Besides, they needed a larger room to assemble supplies and hold meetings. This place fit the bill.

He spent several days writing and responding to missives. Notifying his Kyoto weapons’ dealers of his needs, and keeping in touch with Kyubei on the hunt for Ashikaga. But most of the planning was waiting. Waiting to see if the remaining allies he called would come. Nevermind what he would do if they did.

Mitsuhide only hoped he could keep his emotions under control no matter the threat. They couldn’t risk another repeat of his first meeting with Motonari. Not only had it shaken him to react so emotionally, it had shaken his little mouse.

Though she was quiet about it, her introspection and anxiety was hard to miss. Mitsuhide took every moment he could to comfort her but the effects were only temporary. She was on edge, and would be until this business was finished.

Mitsuhide was about to go out to meet with another agent when the innkeeper arrived.

“There is a man here to see you,” the innkeeper told him. He kept his gaze on the ground as if afraid to really look at Mitsuhide.

“What does he look like?”

The innkeeper took a moment to consider. This wasn’t to remember the appearance, but to weigh the pros and cons of accuracy. “Ah, he isn’t quite as tall as you, my lord. And he has dark brown hair. Brown eyes. And . . . he wears a thing on his face. Over his eyes.”

“A mask?”

“N-no . . .”

Mitsuhide didn’t recognize the description at all. It could be some new disguise for one of his agents. Or an assassin sent by Ashikaga. Or anyone else entirely. He loosened his sword in its saya. “I do not know this visitor.”

The innkeeper bowed again. “Nevertheless . . .”

“Yes, let him up.”

The chatelaine stood from her work - sewing a more mobile kimono for herself - and backed up.

As the innkeeper scurried out to fetch this ‘guest’ Mitsuhide positioned himself beside the door. He motioned to his little one. “Be ready to greet this man when he arrives. If he looks dangerous, I will kill him before he even knows I am here.”

She winced at his blunt instruction but nodded. “Only if he looks immediately dangerous ok? Dangerous describes like . . . half my friends in this time.”

Mitsuhide snorted. “It isn’t anyone from Azuchi.”

“Still. Let’s not murder some innocent messenger, ok?”

He wanted to tell her innocence was a commodity more rare than saffron, but she already looked worried enough.

There was a shuffling outside, the sound of footsteps and then the door slid open.

“I’m sorry to call on you so early in the morning -” he began. But he didn’t get very far.

The chatelaine flung herself across the space between them to wrap him in a warm hug. “Sasuke!”

Mitsuhide felt a twinge of jealousy at the way she smiled up at this stranger, her expression one of delight. Still, it didn’t seem that this visitor was an immediate threat. He let go of his sword hilt with only a little reluctance.

“Good to see you too,” the stranger - Sasuke - grinned down at her. “I really am sorry to just show up like this. I tracked your location because I have something important to tell you.” He pushed the chatelaine back, holding her by the shoulder. “Do you know what day it is?”

Her expression fell.

Mitsuhide stepped forward, tugging her away from the stranger. “Do you know this man?”

Sasuke held out his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mitsuhide Akechi.” His flat expression and tone did nothing to reassure the warlord.

“And it seems he knows me.” This made Mitsuhide very uncomfortable. He was the man who knew things, not the one who was known. Perhaps he’d let go of his hilt too soon.

“I’ve been reading about you since I was little. It’s an honor to finally be able to speak to you in person.” Sasuke bowed. “My name is Sasuke Sarutobi and I’m a - a friend from her home town.” He gestured toward the chatelaine.

Mitsuhide felt one eyebrow rise. “Her hometown, you say?” He took a step toward this - this Sasuke and a note of challenge entered his voice. “Then you are also from 500 years in the future?”

“Galileo’s glass! How did you guess that?” Sasuke’s expression remained flat, but his voice rose with surprise.

The chatelaine blushed. “I told him, actually.”

Sasuke looked between the two of them and his eyes widened. “You two . . . are in love?”

Mitsuhide grimaced. “I wasn’t aware there was a second time-traveler here.” It made him wonder what other tidbits his little one might have kept back. And what delicious techniques he could use to get her to confess everything she knew. Like what a Galileo was.

The chatelaine stepped around him to face Sasuke directly. “Thank you for coming all the way here to remind me. But . . . I decided not to go back. I’m going to stay here in this time.”

Sasuke stared at her as if he didn’t understand.

Mitsuhide felt a knot of tension in his chest release. It was a worry he hadn’t realized he was carrying. But hearing her say this, aloud, and to a man from her time - it felt good. He found her gaze with his own and smiled.

“I’m staying here for Mitsuhide. And for the other friends I’ve made.” The chatelaine returned his smile with a warm one of her own.

Sasuke’s eyes finally narrowed again, crinkling a little at the edges as he shared their grin. “It seems we find ourselves in a similar situation then. I came here in part to tell you that I didn’t plan on returning.”

“You fell in love too?” The chatelaine’s whole expression lit up with joy at the idea of this stranger falling for someone in this time. It reassured Mitsuhide to see it, for surely, if they had been lovers, she wouldn’t be so pleased about that.

The stranger chuckled. “Not exactly. It’s just been a busy four years and I’ve gained a mountain’s worth of people too important to me to leave behind.” He paused and adjusted the contraption on his face. “Not that I would leave at this juncture anyhow. There is still the matter of Yoshimoto to settle, for one.”

“My apologies for interrupting you - Sasuke - but I cannot stay quiet after hearing that name.” Mitsuhide felt another stir of jealous venom. Yoshimoto. He still remembered the way the fallen lord of the Imagawa has looked as his little one that night at Honnoji. He knew too well what that spark meant in another man’s gaze, but the chatelaine was his.

Mitsuhide slid an arm around her shoulder before continuing. “It would appear that you are more than a childhood friend. Who are you, Sasuke Sarutobi? And who do you work for?”

“Sasuke is, um, ah -” The chatelaine stumbled over an explanation before the stranger interrupted.

“It’s alright. Returning you to the future wasn’t my only reason on this visit.” Sasuke gave another slight bow. “I wanted to say thank you for what you did for Yoshimoto.” Then he turned to face Mitsuhide full on, not flinching a bit. “To answer your question, I am a ninja in service to my lord. Kenshin Uesugi.”

“Fascinating.” Mitsuhide tightened his grip on his little mouse. Yes. There were very many questions he had for her, and getting every answer was going to take at least one whole night. Perhaps several. Just to be sure.

Sasuke went on blithely. “Yoshimoto and his vassals were originally taking shelter with us at Echigo. When he disappeared, Yukimura Sanada and I were tasked to bring him back - which is how I wound up watching events unfold at Honno-ji. I witnessed how the two of you saved Yoshimoto and the remnant of his vassals.”

“I hope Motonari shared the popcorn,” the chatelaine muttered.

“What?” Sasuke looked confused. “There was no - ah, I see.” The two of them shared another grin. “After the battle, I relayed this information to Kasugayama. And let me say, it is with thanks from all of us that I present this token of our appreciation for your actions that night.” He presented a little box.

Mitsuhide stared at the item suspiciously. Too small to be an effective explosive. Large enough to contain any number of sharp, poisoned items. Or a serpent, angry at it’s imprisonment. Ready to strike whoever opened its cage.

Of course, his little one wasn’t nearly so wary. She reached for the present excitedly. “Oh, what is it Sasuke?”

“My very own homemade ground spike. Hand selected by me, for you.”

She opened the box as Mitsuhide stood ready to knock it away from her should it prove dangerous. But, it was exactly as Sasuke had said. Full of small caltrops, perfect to slow and wound a following enemy. That didn’t discount the possibility that they were poisoned.

Mitsuhide eased the box from her hands as she exclaimed over how sharp they looked. He set it on the table and put the lid back on. “Am I to understand, Sasuke, that you approached an enemy warlord with no weapon in hand, only gifts at the ready?”

Sasuke nodded. “Despite living the hashtag sengoku hustle, I maintain a work-life balance with emotionally fulfilling parasocial relationships.”

Mitsuhide took a moment to parse the babble. There were some actual words in it, but mostly, just gibberish. He looked to the chatelaine to see if she’d understood any of that.

She gave him an apologetic smile. “Sorry for the future-speak. What Sasuke means is that even though he works for Echigo, he admires you as a person.”

Future-speak. So in her time, gibberish was spouted as a normal course of conversation. Yet another reason to question her . . . thoroughly. It reminded him uncomfortably of the space between them, even while exciting him at the idea of closing that distance. There were so many things about her that he had yet to explore. There’d been no time . . . not yet. But there would be, if he lived.

“Tee whiee,” Sasuke responded back with more of his impenetrable code language.

Mitsuhide frowned. “This insight into your time has made me lose all interest in the future.” Which wasn’t true, but he felt annoyed with this connection between his little one and her friend. Not that he would ever admit it.

“Did you manage to catch up to Yoshimoto?” The chatelaine asked, moving the conversation back to shared topics.

“We did. But now Yoshimoto has decided to take full responsibility for his clan leaving Echigo.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

Sasuke nodded again. “He said he hoped his vassals would be welcome, but that he was not in need of a home.” The ninja gave an exasperated sigh. “We couldn’t convince him to come back with us, even though a lot of people are waiting for him in Echigo.”

The chatelaine made a worried sound, her eyes wide. “I want him to feel able to go back.”

“Even his vassals couldn’t convince him to return.” Sasuke looked to the side. “Yoshimoto may seem to have his head in the clouds, but he has a will of iron.”

Mitsuhide listened to the conversation intently. He could personally care less if the Imagawa clan head lived or died. But his little mouse cared and so - he put his mind to work, turning the problem inside and out. Pride was often a useful tool. Fatalism as well. “I have a suggestion,” he said when the two friends fell silent.

“Out of respect for you revealing yourself to me, Sasuke, I will reveal something to you. I am planning to kill Yoshiaki Ashikaga.”

Sasuke nodded thoughtfully. “I suspected that was the reason the two of you stayed behind in Kyoto.”

“Mmm, well, should I fail here, I am certain Echigo would be Ashikaga’s next target. As this is assured, I think it may be wise to approach Yoshimoto with an offer of exchange.” Mitsuhide’s smile widened. “I’d like him to rejoin his allies in Echigo and bring the battle of dragon and tiger back to the Oda forces.”

The chatelaine and Sasuke both gasped at the same time.

Sasuke shook his head. “Could this be Akechi’s infamous betrayal? With me as an accomplice? A second - no a third Honno-ji Incident?!”

“Calm down,” the chatelaine told him, though she didn’t look calm herself. “I don’t think Mitsuhide means a real war. At least, I hope he doesn’t.”

Mitsuhide gave his little mouse an approving look. “Correct. It will only appear that hostilities have resumed, when in fact, a temporary alliance will have been formed.”

“How does this help,” Sasuke asked.

“The conflict will draw Ashikaga’s eyes away from me, and that will give me the opportunity to strike.”

“Yes, I see. With Echigo next on the shogun’s list, Yoshimoto’s return would be riding to the aid of his allies and assisting in Ashikaga’s defeat.” Sasuke’s brows twitched. “Thus giving him two powerful and still noble reasons to return. Brilliant.”

Mitsuhide was pleased that he need not spell it out completely. “If ever you chose to leave Echigo, Sasuke, do let me know.”

“That is unlikely, but thank you.” Sasuke’s lips turned up in a small smile. “I will take it as a mark of honor that the Mitsuhide Akechi tried to scout me.” He raised and lowered one fist in the air in some sort of bizarre salute or prayer.

“You know, I could write him a letter.” The chatelaine spoke up.

Sasuke agreed. “A letter from you would be perfect. He is always very receptive to your suggestions, and I think it would cheer him up.”

“A little too receptive,” Mitsuhide muttered. Then said more loudly. “I agree that will be effective. But -” the words pushed their way out even as he tried not to say them. “You’ve never written a letter to me.”

“Oh.” His little one blushed, making one of the faces he adored so much. Her lips were just slightly parted, eyes wide. Cheeks pink. She held a hand almost to her heart.

It made Mitsuhide want to pull her close and kiss her breathless. But they had a guest. The kiss would have to wait.

“I can write you a letter whenever you like,” she offered.

“Then you will write one for me first. Then. You can write Yoshimoto.”

Her smile was so wide it looked almost painful. “You really want me to write you a letter? Even though I’m right here?”

Mitsuhide did pull her close then, lips brushing against her ear. Her hair tickled his cheek. “I would. The joy of receiving a letter from you would only be enhanced by your presence.” And then, just to emphasize and not at all because he felt jealous, he kissed the edge of her ear lightly.

Sasuke gave an awkward cough. “I-Is it alright if I interrupt?”

“My apologies.” Mitsuhide straightened. He wasn’t sorry in the slightest.

“Nothing to apologize for. I just wanted to say, when the letter to Yoshimoto is finished, let me know and I’ll deliver it immediately.”

The chatelaine giggled. “It’s second on my to-do list, I promise!”

Sasuke gave her another of his small smiles. “I believe you. And I think that is my cue to be off. I’ve left my contact information with your innkeeper.”

“I hope next time you visit, we can have tea and chat.”

Sasuke’s gaze slid from the chatelaine to Mitsuhide and back. “That could be very interesting.”

“Very,” Mitsuhide agreed drily. Then saw the stranger - no, Sasuke now - out. What an odd turn of events this was. He returned to his little mouse with many things on his mind.

Next: Keeping Secrets

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen mitsuhide #Mitsuhide Akechi #otome guys #otome #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff

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hopespeaknursery · 3 years

Text

Lipstick Stains

Taking some of my writing and adding it to the blog! Little!Korekiyo and CG!Gonta

TW: Mentions of abuse

I never imagined life turning out in the way that it has. Waking up in the morning to a gentle hand on my shoulder and a kiss to my cheek. One that gently rouses me from my sleep. And, when I open my eyes, I'm always greeted by a pair of deep, red eyes, hidden behind those small spectacles. A little too close to my face, as though he were observing me, making sure I'm truly awake. It's routine at the point, waking up nose to nose with him. At times, it's a bit too close for comfort. But the minor annoyance is always remedied when he smiles at me, and greets me with a, "Good morning!" Bright and early as usual.

Knowing him however, I'm almost certain he was up hours beforehand. Feeding his collection of tarantula's, and telling each and every one of them good morning. It's a routine he and I have both become very used to. And frankly, I'm glad he doesn't try to get me up to help him. I don't want to be within five feet of those insects at any given time.. I suppose if I were an entomologist myself, I would have liked to spend my first waking moments with my studies. Or, in his own words, 'friends.'

Every morning, he wakes up at around 6 in the morning to greet his friends, get them fed, and give them a little time outside their cages. Then, at around 8, he comes to rouse me as well. Once I am awake, we begin our routine. It's not too different compared to the one I had before meeting him. Brush my teeth and my hair, apply my makeup, have breakfast, get dressed, and continue about my day. But, now that I and Gokuhara are living with one another, and have established such an...interesting relationship, things have change quite a bit. For he cares for most of my morning routine for me. Because I, in his own words, am his 'Little one.'

It's a bit hard to explain how this relationship came about. It's not something either of us would have thought of on our own. But nevertheless, it's something we discovered together through a group therapy session. Gonta and myself have both had our own inner demons to work through. And while therapy wasn't exactly something I initally wanted to do, I ended up going for his sake. As he was a bit too nervous to go on his own, despite the recommendation. It was here that we both began to open up a bit more. He told stories of his forest family, of the difficult transition from the forest to civilization, his desire to be more 'gentlemanly,' and how much he misses his forest family. I'll admit, I knew how he still loved them. He's a person who wears his heart on his sleeve, so it wasn't hard to tell. But, it was here where I learned about how mixed he felt about his birth parents, how confusing he still found the world to be, how frustrating and embarrassing it could be when he didn't understand what everyone else did. It was a lot. And he was carrying it all on his own..

After he began opening up so much, and spilled out his heart, it became a little easier for me to do the same. Bit by bit by bit, things began to come out, being spilled onto the table. I talked about my travels, about the things I'd done and seen. And eventually, about the tribe that beat me nearly to death. I had never truly considered it to be traumatic. But that doctor was the first to label the experience as such. Eventually, and I do mean eventually, I was able to talk about Miyadera. My late elder sister. I had already been told now and again that what happened was wrong. But it was something I had trouble accepting. It's...not easy admitting to abuse. Having to realize that something was wrong, when someone told you for years and years that it was okay. That it was right. You feel...dirty. You feel bad and wrong and disgusting. Especially when you recall that with time, you ended up lusting for her just as much as she lusted for you... I still have a lot of trouble ridding myself of the grime all over my hands.

Anyhow, after a few sessions, it was that therapist who brought up the idea of age regression. It was just a passing mention, nothing that he actively talked about or encouraged. Yet, for some reason, it really caught Gonta's attention. On his own, he began to talk to the therapist more about this. And, I suppose I assumed he was interested in the 'regressor' role. However, he surprised me one day when he told me he was much more interested in the caregiver role. He admit to me in the same breath however, that he wasn't sure what he enjoyed the thought of more. Him being a caregiver...or me being a regressor.

The way he put it, he had a good childhood. He was very happy with his forest family. And he wouldn't have had it any other way. But as I spent most of my childhood in the hospital, watching over and talking to my sister, I didn't have much of a childhood myself. Despite the fact that I had convinced myself (And that she had convinced me) that I was happy. Not only that, but he was fascinated by the idea of caring for a baby. He had seen many a baby animal during his time in the forest, and he had loved and helped care for so many of them. But a human baby was something different. Something just as special. And, he truly wanted to dedicate some of his time to caring for me. His own 'baby.'

Of course I had refused outright at first! But...it was a bit too difficult to say no to that face for too long. And besides, I supposed anthropology does delve into psychology at times. And, what was a better way to study such strange ideas, then to immerse myself in them?

And thus began our strange, yet comforting relationship...

"Good morning~" That usual greeting is what rouses me, as I feel his big hand on my shoulder. Opening my eyes, per the norm, I am greeted to his own, deep red ones. "Time for Kiyo to get up!"

Kiyo. That's his favorite nickname for me. I don't mind it I suppose. It makes him happy. So, I take it with a grain of salt

"Good morning.." I yawned in response. I can feel him pull the blanket off before I am fully awake. Then, he slipped one arm under my legs, and the other under my back, lifting me into his arms. I swear, I don't think my feet ever touch the floor in the mornings! As I try to wake up more, he carried me into the bathroom. With a happy hum, he set me down on the closed toilet seat. He usually lets me stay in my pajamas through the morning unless I have placed to be otherwise. Then, he tends to insist upon helping me dress.

As I rub my eyes, he gets out my toothbrush and dots the toothpaste on. I was the one who taught him how to not use more toothpaste than either of us need. I tend to teach him a lot of things. It's the least I can do after hes stayed by my side so long, and taken the best care of me that he can. He truly does do the very best he can for me..

I am roused a bit more when I feel the toothbrush poke at my lips. So I open for him, and allow him to press the toothbrush into my mouth. He does the tops and the bottoms well enough. But I know I'll have to do the backs myself later. After the teeth, he begins to brush my hair. But again, I'll need to go back and brush through it once more, just to make sure all the tangles are out. It soothing however to feel him do these things for me~

Typically, as he does these things, he speaks to me. "Gonta's Rose Haired tarantula molted last night! Got bigger~ Gonta placed molt into container for observation. Rosie is doing very well now! Very comfortable!" he tells me as he brushes my hair out. "Would Kiyo like to see molt?

"Perhaps after breakfast," I answered. I'm not so sure if spider skin is the first thing I want to see before I eat...

"Okay!" he chirped in response. He's the only person I know who would be so excited over a spider molt. But, I don't blame him. We all have our passions. And we listen to one another, and we respect one anothers passions. I know he doesn't understand too much about anthropology, and insects aren't my specialty. But, partners and friends are there for one another. And, we care for one another.

"Alright!" Gonta says, placing the brush to the side. "Gonta will get breakfast ready now! While Gonta do that, Kiyo use bathroom! And then come to table, okay?"

"Of course," I nod. That's our typical routine. Yet, Gonta still feels the need to remind me. Still, I can't say that I don't appreciate it. Gonta presses a chaste kiss to my forehead, and leaves me to my business.

Once he is gone, I am quick to lock the bathroom door. I have...things to do. First, of course,I finish brushing my teeth and my hair. Then, I open the cabinet beneath the sink, and pull out a small, plastic bag. Hidden away in the back. But I know I could put my things in plain sight, and Gonta wouldn't see. He has no reason to be suspicious. For he seems to be a naturally trusting man. I do feel bad for keeping such secrets. But..some things simply cannot be shared.

From the bag, I pull out two items. My mask, one I haven't work in a few days now. And, a small tube of red lipstick...

Gonta has never liked it when I apply the lipstick. Not because he has something against males in makeup. Rather, he hates what it represents. He hates that it is for my sister. He hates that I still do it from time to time. He gets so upset every time he sees it. But, he was never able to enforce me not to wear it. He had tried now and again. But, he is not so good at enforcing rules in general... I don't think he understands however.. I am not the only occupant of this body. I need to make her more comfortable. Give her something. I...haven't seen my tulpa in some time. My mind is preoccupied with Gonta, with our relationship, and with my own bettering mental health. But, I cannot deny that I still hear her voice. Warning me, holding me, and reminding me time and time again that she's the only one who will ever love me, and that I'm the one she needs. She's gone. She passed years ago. And yet, she still with me always... Miyadera...

I uncap the lipstick tube and turn the bottom, letting the red wax come out. I can hear her whispering again. Talking to me, and whispering as she runs her hands up my chest. Miyadera. I truly wish you were someone I could hate. Someone I could say without a doubt, was a bad person. Someone I had nightmares about, instead of these ugly, complicated memories. Because, as much as I might want to, I don't hate you. Dare I say, I still love you. Not in the same way you loved me, but I love you all the same. And, I can't tell you no. You were...are my big sister...

Without much more hesitation, I begin to apply. Carefully applying the lipstick to my bottom, then my top lip, coating it in red. I no longer feel quite like myself. It feels like placing on a new skin, becoming someone I am not. And, I'm not sure if that scares me, or makes me more comfortable. It's hard being someone I am not so happy with.

Once I am through, I place the mask back on, concealing my sin. I know walking out there with my concealing will be just like walking out there with my lips pursed. It's obvious what I am hiding. However, I am not prepared to be more open. I...suppose I am ashamed.

I look in the mirror and my concealed face, and, I'm not sure who I see..

With a sigh, I step out of the bathroom, her whispers getting softer. She is satisfied. But I know once she sees Gonta, she's going to be angry. I don't know what she is at this point. A tulpa? Perhaps not. Just a voice in my head? I'm not sure.. What is she?

Who is she?

I hate the look Gonta gets when he sees me. His face falls, as though he's sad, or disappointed. He sets my plate down on the table. Toaster waffles. As expected. He doesn't know how to cook on his own yet, but he is working on it.

"Kiyo is wearing mask.." he comments. "Why is Kiyo wearing mask?" As though he doesn't know why. But I can tell that he knows already.. And yet, I continue to feign innocence. I'm too ashamed to admit to it outright.

"It's very cold this morning," I say to him. "I feel more comfortable with my mask on."

He hesitates as he stares at me. "How will Kiyo eat?"

My only answer, is unzipping the zipper on my mask, freeing my mouth somewhat. But that only makes him frown harder. He doesn't seem to know what to say. So, instead of saying a word, he begins to cut up the waffles. I can tell by the look on his face that he is thinking quite a bit. I say nothing for the time being, just letting him think. Finally he offered me a forkful. "Kiyo eat?"

I nod, and easily lean forward. But..well, this is exactly why I don't tend to eat messier foods when others are around. I can feel the syrup slide onto my mask. And he really has to work to get the piece in there. Eating with utensils in general is terribly difficult with my mask. It's even harder when someone else is feeding me.. But, we try for a moment. Until...

"This no working.." Gonta said, setting the fork to the side. With my eyes wide, I look up at him to see his expression...mixed. "This don't work!"

"Alright, alright, I know," I said, hoping to calm him. I knew how frustrated he could get when he couldn't understand things, or figure things out. He wanted so badly to understand.. "I will feed myself, it's okay. Why don't you sit and-?"

"No!" I hadn't expected him to take such a tone, and I put my hands up. In a sort of 'surrender' pose. "Gonta want to do it! Gonta supposed to take care of Kiyo!"

I...am not sure what to say to him. I don't know how to make this easier for him. I try my hardest to teach him things, step by step, bit by bit. But some things are harder to teach than others. And, this is one of those things that feels just...impossible. "Gonta.."

"Gonta...Gonta think Kiyo should take off mask!"

"My mask?" I ask, placing a hand on my cheek. Oh dear, not this again... "I've already told you, I'm feeling cold. Please do not make me take this off."

Gonta's face goes from upset, to hurt rather quickly. Oh dear, what did I say..? "Gonta wish Kiyo would not treat Gonta like he dumb. Gonta know he not smart. But, Gonta is doing the best he can. How can Gonta take care of Kiyo, if Kiyo not help Gonta?"

I'm at a loss once more. I don't know what to say to him.. "I'm trying to help you. That's why I am saying, I will feed myself. I will let you try another day when it is not so cold." Oh why is he being so insistent upon me removing my mask? What does he hope to prove this way?

"Is not cold! Gonta knows it not cold! So...so Gonta thinks Kiyo should take off mask!" I refused to move for a moment, just staring at him as I keep my hand on my cheek, as though it might keep him from taking it off. Oh dear. His eyes are already starting to well up with tears. He's always been a rather emotional person. And, he deals with most of these emotions, through tears. But, I couldn't move to comfort him. So, he speaks once more. "Gonta is sorry, so so sorry. But, Gonta says...d-daddy says that Kiyo needs to take off mask!"

I find myself freezing at that. Daddy is...a term that we use very sparingly. It's not that it makes us uncomfortable. It's just...we aren't used to it yet. You can't just use such terms all willy nilly when you aren't used to it yet. It's certainly enough to quiet me however. "Please? Daddy wants to take care of Kiyo. But daddy can't do that if Kiyo doesn't trust daddy! So please take off mask!"

So, it was a matter of trust, was it? I...

Why was my throat starting to close up? Why was my heart starting to beat too fast? Why did I feel so anxious? Was it because of the mask? Or the daddy thing? Or, was it because of how noisy Miyadera's voice was within my head? She wouldn't leave me be. The voice was so angry. And, I didn't know what to do..

I stood up, and he stepped back on instinct. I love Gonta, trust me when I say that. He's the most beautiful person I've had the pleasure of meeting, both inside and out. But, in this moment, his words reek of ugliness. And I despise ugly things.. I want to run away. I don't want to be close to him. I do trust him, I truly do. But, it's Miyadera that doesn't trust him. And, it's so hard to argue with someone like that...

"I have to go," I managed to say.

"Ah please wait Kiyo! Daddy is sorry!" Gonta said quickly. "Please wait!"

But I do not listen. I can not listen. The intruder within my head is too noisy for me to hear him. I walk away.

Or, I try to anyhow. i'm barely looking where I am going. I only take two steps. And my foot gets caught on the table leg, sending me to the ground. I could hear Gonta gasp, and ask if I was okay. He gets up, and the thump I hear afterwards, is most likely the sound of the chair falling over. I can hear him scrambling, trying to figure out what to do. And in the meantime, I don't move. I can't move. Everything is too loud and I do not like it. I can't take off my mask. She will be angry. I am sharing this body with her, and I have to make her comfortable. Or she will be angry. What are you? Are you a tulpa? An alter? A never ending voice in my head? I need quiet. I need quiet! I love you Miyadera. I still love you. But at the same time, I hate...no. What kid of brother hates his own sister? I don't care what you did, I still love you! I still love you!

And yet, you scare me..

As I lie there, I'm not able to stop the sudden sobs that had been pushing at my through, from erupting from my lips.

I keep my eyes on my knees, listening to the sink run as I sit on the closed toilet seat. My mask is sitting on the bathroom counter, as I had finally removed it. And on display, was the red line of lipstick. There was no point in hiding it anymore. Glancing towards the sink, Gonta's face is flat. He doesn't seem mad. He's just...thinking. He's wetting a cloth with water, with the intent of wiping away the makeup. I don't protest. I suppose I ought to let him.. I put my eyes back down again, fiddling with a thread on my pajama bottoms. I don't know what to tell him. I don't know if I ought to apologize or not. So, I say nothing.

I know I shouldn't act this way with him. I know partners are supposed to trust one another, and tell one another things. But, it's hard. Some things, are just too hard to talk about. And, the more you love someone, the harder it can be to talk about certain things. There are people in this world, who do not like it when things and people are not in the way they should be. Some people are just too sick for them, or too odd. And even though you trust the person you love, you don't ever want to risk them leaving, or being scared away. It's so much easier to put these feelings in a place where no one can see them. Or talk to strangers about them. I see the beauty in others, even in those ugly parts that they try to hide. There is something to me, that is so wonderful, finding the thorns in the beautiful rose of a person.

But not everyone is like that. I like to think that I can always trust Gonta. And yet, the temptation to hide away is too strong. I care not what people think of me most times. I am more then willing to be open. Maybe even a bit too open. But with Gonta it is just...harder.

Gonta comes over once more with a cloth that is a tad too wet. It's still dripping.. He kneels before me, and he gently begin to wipe my lips. Wiping away the red lipstick the best he can. Water drips down my chin and onto my lap. But, I keep still. It's the least I can do for him after the stress I put him through.

And then, it is silent. It takes a moment, but eventually Gonta breaks our silence. "Gonta...is sorry. Gonta knows is hard breaking habit. Gonta knows Kiyo can't be pushed to do it. Gonta didn't mean to yell.." Oh dear, he's tearing up..

I place a hand on his shoulder as I speak. "Gonta, you do not have to apologize. I shouldn't have lied to you. I should have been honest with you, shouldn't I?"

Gonta sniffled, taking my hand from his shoulder, and placing it on his cheek. He holds it there with his big and warm hand, sniffling softly. "Gonta loves his baby very much. Gonta will always love his baby. And, Gonta really love his baby's smile.." With tears streaming down his cheeks and onto my hand he said, "Gonta can't see smile when mask is on. And...and when Kiyo wears makeup, Gonta's see sister's smile. And Gonta not like sister!" My eyes are wide as I stare at him. My face is mostly clean now, with some lipstick smeared onto my cheeks. Water and makeup still drips down my chin, and I'm too surprised to wipe it away.

"Gonta is very sorry. Gonta doesn't m-mean to cry. Gonta tried to hold it in but.." He sniffled and sobbed once again as I stare at him. I knew how upset he got when I would give into the things Miyadera demanded of me. He was not upset with me, he was never upset with me. But, he was upset with the situation. Because, it was another situation he just didn't understand. Despite how badly he wanted to. This poor man...

After a moment, I sigh. And, I'm surprised to find that the tight sensation in my chest is still very present. I tilt my head just a bit, my long hair falling against my shoulder. The ends are still a bit damp from the water, but it's the last thing on my mind. "I'm not mad," I say softly. "I'm sorry too. I can't apologize for the habits, and I cannot apologize for what Miyadera does. But, I do apologize for not talking to you. Please understand, I don't mean to be so secluded. But..it's never been easy to talk about these things. I would like nothing more then to be open with you. But it's not easy. It's never been easy. And, I truly don't know if it's ever going to be easy."

"Gonta know..." he sniffled. "Gonta know that. Gonta knows Kiyo try.."

"I do. But, even if I can't be so open, you make me feel like I can be open. It's still frightening but..." Ah. My hands are shaking a bit. Why are they shaking? But, I manage to speak anyhow. "But, I trust..my daddy." My voice comes out in a mumble. But, he still seems to hear me.

Rather suddenly, he is standing. He put his arms around me, and he hugs me close. Crying into my hair. "Daddy! Kiyo called Gonta daddy!" he cried "Daddy loves Kiyo!" he sobbed. "Daddy is sorry! Daddy and Kiyo are going to work together always. And, we will feel better together! Gonta loves Kiyo!" With a sniff he said, "If Kiyo needs mask...then Kiyo can have mask. But we work together. And, we...we figure things out. Gonta promises. Because family help family! And Kiyo is family!"

After a moment, I place my arms back around him. I don't know what more to do other than that. "I love you too.." I whisper. And, I truly do love him. With all of my heart. I feel like I can trust him. And, I want to be with him for a very long time.

Because, he is my special person...

#Library #Korekiyo Shinguji #Little Korekiyo #Gonta Gokuhara #Papa Gonta #Age regression #Danganronpa Age Regression

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matrixaffiliate · 3 years

Text

Ojalá - Garner

Story Update! FFN and AO3

I know I said I'd only have nine stories for @blackinnonweek, but you'll forgive me for sneaking one more in, yeah?

And a huge thank you to @tumbledfreckles for beta-ing this for me!

Garner

He places his right hand on the small of her back, teasing the low cut of her dress and she bites her bottom lip as she glances up at him.

It's a game they play. The cut of her dress, the smell of his aftershave. The blood-red of both her stilettos and her lip stain. The first three buttons of his dress shirt undone. Her hair pinned off to one side to expose the curve of her neck. Him standing close enough that she can feel his breath against the back of her ear and along her neck and shoulder.

The game is played for the way it winds them both. The way his eyes darken when her hand is just an inch higher on his thigh than it should be for polite company. The sound of her breath catching when his hand brushes her bare skin and his eyes trace the places he would rather his hands be.

When the dinner portion of this event arrives, they'll sit at the table and Sirius will capitalize on their new position, leaning into her, taking up her space to whisper in her ear, close enough to make her think about his lips on her skin. With the tablecloth draped over their legs, Marlene can slide her fingers along the length and expanse of his thigh, with touches light as snowflakes, sending his thoughts to memories from behind closed doors.

Teasing, the very thing mothers chastise their children for, has become their favorite game. However, it no longer ends with their victim in tears and running for a parent. Now, the game ends in a passion of lips finally touching skin, of hands grasping, holding, of breaths coming in gasps, moans, whispered names.

But right now, the game is just starting as he hands the keys to the valet.

"Anything you'll need Mr. Black?" The young man asks.

"We'll be fine thank you," Sirius dips his fingers into the low cut of the back of her dress and Marlene forces her breath to come slowly, to not catch in her chest. They're too early in the game for her to be folding so quickly.

She smiles as Sirius' eyes darken, knowing he expected the sound and was denied.

"Point," she smiles up at him.

"The night is young, Marls, I can afford to let you be ahead for the moment." Sirius leads her confidently into the event Mia and Monty are putting on. "You'll probably need a head start, anyhow."

"And why is that?" Marlene nods politely at Frank's parents as Sirius leads her from the entry to the main ballroom.

"Mia let me know there would be dancing tonight, and I've taken the liberty of filling your dance card with my name."

"If Mia actually has dance cards here I'll ride your motorcycle naked," she whispers near his ear.

Sirius nearly stumbles, but catches himself the next instant; she still counts it as a point.

"I'll go and convince her of the need for them now."

Marlene shakes her head and laughs but lets Sirius lead her to the floor where a dozen or so couples have already begun to turn to the music, James and Lily included. And as he spins her around the room, she privately admits he was right, she'll have a lot to make up for in the evening if he keeps leading her into one more turn on the dance floor.

His arms hold her close, guiding her through the steps they've both known since childhood, but he's playing dirty. She watches his eyes trace her neck and slide down her chest, not stopping where the fabric of her dress begins.

He's gaining on her lead.

"We can't leave early," she whispers as he spins her back into him, his hand discreetly sliding along her skin.

He leans in to speak close to her ear, his lips lingering, teasing. "Moving too quickly for you, am I?"

Marlene scoffs, "Keep dreaming. I'm just warning you. We can't leave if you decide you're finished with this audience. We're here for another three hours at a minimum."

"Maybe I'm thinking this audience needs more entertainment."

"Mia will kill us."

"She loves us."

"This is her biggest gala of the year."

"So she won't notice a thing."

"I'm not shagging you in the car in this dress."

Sirius chuckles.

"This is really your fault, you know," his hand slides up and down the skin of her back. "How have I never seen you in this dress before?"

Marlene doesn't manage to keep her smile off her lips, but he's earned the point.

"Just a little something I picked up when Lily and I went shopping."

"You and Lily went shopping over a month ago." He leans in close again, his voice low as he teases her with not quite there kisses against her ear. "I think you've deliberately kept this from me."

"And by your behavior tonight, for good reason. We never would have made it out the door if you'd seen me in it before today."

"Or maybe, it would have let me build up some tolerance."

She smirks, resisting the overwhelming desire to place her lips on his skin. To taste him. Provoke him into more. "And where's the fun in that."

He laughs; a low chuckle that rumbles through her body and leaves her fighting the sigh that tries to escape her lips.

"You've raised the stakes tonight, Marls, and I'm game to win."

And then he cheats, breathing heavily against her ear before placing the chastest of kisses on her cheek.

"I know what you're doing." She threads their fingers as he leads her off the dance floor.

"And yet I'm still taking the lead."

She leans close, her stilettos allowing her to speak directly into his ear. "You better have a plan, Black."

His chest rises quickly and Marlene smirks at her point earned.

"Getting antsy are you?" Sirius tries to recover.

"You're the one rushing the game."

He spins her into an alcove, pressing her back against the wall and the way her breath catches and her hands nearly pull his lips down to her says she's probably losing tonight.

Though by how his eyes darken when she's this close to him, maybe they're both winning the game, after all.

"I wouldn't have reason to rush if you hadn't walked out of our bedroom looking like this." He grips her hip and braces himself against the wall, blocking her from view of the corridor behind him. "Honestly, Marly, it's like you're trying to kill me."

She reaches up, sliding her fingers along the lapel of his suit coat. "So are you saying that I won before we left the house?"

Sirius smirks and takes her left hand in his, kissing her wedding ring. "You won a long time ago, Marls."

She melts; and then curses for giving the point. "You really are playing dirty tonight."

"You started it," he growls and presses his body into hers, trapping her between him and the wall.

Marlene slowly pulls her bottom lip between her teeth as she looks up at him. "Are you going to finish it?"

It's at a painfully slow pace that he closes the gap between their lips, his eyes never leaving hers, "Are you willing to bail from here, so I can?"

His lips are almost on hers, his body is pressed against her in all the right ways, his eyes are devouring her as he waits for her answer, and she hates to admit it, but she really doesn't care who wins right now, as long as his lips land on hers.

"Mia didn't reserve the upper floor of this place. I bet we can find something."

She catches the briefest glimpse of Sirius' smirk before his lips are on her and he's kissing her like he might die if he stops. He runs his hands over every inch of her exposed skin, smoothing down her neck, gripping her shoulders, pressing them into her back, and then slides them along her dress, teasingly pulling at it as though he might rip it off of her right here in the alcove.

"Upstairs," Marlene gasps into his lips.

"Way ahead of you," He gives one more teasing pull on her dress before grabbing her hand and stepping out into the corridor as though nothing has happened. Before she can ask, he's leading her down one corridor, opening a door to yet another corridor, and then sliding them into a small conference room where he quietly shuts the door and locks it.

"And you thought we'd need to go upstairs," his lips are on her neck as he starts playing with the straps holding her dress on her shoulders, slowly inching them towards her arms.

"You've been planning this," she accuses, even as she slides his suit coat over his shoulders.

"You tipped me off to your strategy when you didn't show me what you bought with Lily." He finally pulls one of the straps away and replaces it with a slide of his teeth and press of his lips. "I snuck into someone else's event last week and scoped the place for options."

Marlene pauses mid undoing the buttons on his black dress shirt. "You didn't just look at the dress? It's only been in the garment bag in our closet."

He brings his lips back to hers, kissing her deeply. "And deny myself of seeing it on you first? Where's the fun in that, Marlene?"

She smirks against his lips, running her fingers against his chest. "Don't make my win feel hollow."

"Hollow is definitely not where we're going, love." Sirius kisses her again, his hands making quick work of her dress.

And later, when he's helping her pull the dress back on with gentle fingers, lips kissing her skin before the fabric covers her again, Marlene admits that 'hollow' is the last thing she feels. And when Sirius kisses her lips once more before leading them back to Mia's gala, she can't help but enjoy how sweet victory tastes.

#ojala #blackinnon #blackinnon au #sirius x marlene #blackinnon week 2021 #sirius black x marlene mckinnon #sirius black #marlene mckinnon #muggle au #harry potter fanfiction

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nebulablakemurphy · 4 years

Text

Full Bloom

Summary: Before Neville goes back to Hogwarts, he helps Y/N plant a garden. When he returns everything is in full bloom.

A/N: Written for A Very Harry Potter Summer with the prompt ‘garden work.’ Special tag for @lupins-sweater happy birthday! 🎁 (Be sure to send her lots of frog pictures and or Remus fan art!) @eleven-times-lively you are not on my tag list but still wishing you the happiest of birthdays!

Masterlist

You first notice Neville Longbottom at age five. He’s been your next door neighbor for just as long. Despite his grandmother’s wariness, the pair of you are drawn to each other like a moth to flame.

Neville is special. Although the thought never really occurred to you, until his eleventh birthday.

When he pulls you aside to say he won’t be returning to school with you in the fall. This, of course, shatters your heart into a million pieces.

You were going to lose your best friend. In a mix of anger and shock, you don’t wish him safe travels. How could he leave you for a stupid boarding school anyhow?

Despite yourself, when he returns, you can’t help peeking between the slots in the fence. Catching him reading over a newspaper that appears to move by itself.

As the years go on, Neville begins to open up a bit more. About magic and Hogwarts, the special school only wizards can attend. Naturally he’s not supposed to share any of this with you; and could get in a fair bit of trouble for doing so. But you’re very persistent and above all else, Neville knows he can trust you.

You’re sixteen when he finally kisses you, only goodbye and only on the cheek. But you swear you’ll never want to kiss anyone else.

There are other boys. Normal, available, boys, who don’t leave for part of the year. Only none of them are Neville, therefore none of them are good enough.

————————————————————-

Things grow darker in his word, you can tell by the way his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. You can feel it in the way he avoids speaking about magic. And the way he tries to direct the conversation away from him and back toward you.

You don’t push, instead you begin searching for ways to ease his nerves. Plants and herbology always seem to do the trick.

Your family’s garden is barren and has been for sometime. Although you have nothing akin to a green thumb, you’re ready to give it a go. You drive up to the nursery that day and return with a trunk full of flowers.

Neville spots you from his bedroom window, rushing over to help unload the plants. “These are beautiful.” He points toward the forget me nots. “They’ll bloom every year.”

“So it’s impossible for me to kill them?” You inquire, hopefully. “Because I can’t keep plants alive to save my life.”

“Do you want to know the secret?” He says, leaning a bit closer.

“Magic?” You reply, cheekily.

Neville shakes his head, no. “Love the plants and the plants will love you.”

“You can’t be serious.” You scoff at the idea, that’s ridiculous!

“Try it.” He insists.

“I don’t believe you,” you say, giving him the side-eye. “But it couldn’t hurt.”

Once you’re all set up, you begin shoveling dirt, to make a proper hole. Effectively flicking it up at yourself instead.

Neville chuckles, having perfectly executed the same task.

“Shut it,” you swat his shoulder.

“You’ve got a bit of dirt,” he motions to your nose.

“Here?” You ask. Wiping your hand over the spot in question, only serving to smear it about your face.

Neville smiles, moving toward you. “I’ll get it.”

———————————————————————-

When Neville leaves that year, you can sense he’s heading into something dangerous. Even before he tells you.

“I don’t want you to wait for me, Y/N. I don’t know if-“ he breaks off, “when,” he corrects himself. “I’ll be back.”

“I’ve been waiting for you since I was five.” You remind him, “seems silly to stop now.”

Mustering the courage, Neville takes your face between his hands. Eyes searching yours, then leaning down; his mouth ghosting over your own.

His lips are slightly chapped, he tastes of childhood and the bittersweet unknown. And you want to remember him, just like this. So you weave your fingers through the short hairs at the nape of his neck. Pulling him closer and keeping him there.

——————————————————————

Then you wait, just like you always have. Through Christmas and the warmer months. Your garden flourishes nicely, just as Neville promised. Sunlight, water and love have brought the buds to fruition.

“Y/N,” the voice, his voice, startles you.

It’s far too early for Neville, he shouldn’t return from school for weeks. But here he stands, perfect as the day he left.

“Neville, you’re back.” You greet him with an embrace, that sends you both stumbling backwards.

“Y/N, this is brilliant.” He beams, eyes alight with wonder.

“Think the plants love me yet?” You pull away, enough to see his face. Checking for any obvious signs of damage.

“They’d be mental not to,” Neville smiles. Taking in the beauty that surrounds him.

This time when he kisses you, there’s no hesitation. He tastes of hope and things yet to come.

—————————————————————-

It’s not for sometime after the wizarding war that you finally have all the details. Mainly because it’s very hard for Neville to speak about, and you respect that.

With his confessions come healing. Years pass easily between you; he’s more himself, happy again. Eventually he drops down on one knee, asking for your hand in marriage. An offer you eagerly accept.

Married life is kind to you. On your two year wedding anniversary, you run out into your garden. Unable to contain your excitement, you scream at the top of your lungs, “I’m pregnant!”

Neville drops his shovel, rushing to sweep you off your feet. Spinning around in circles, until you’re both dizzy.

Your belly grows, full of new life. The beginning of a family you and Neville once dare only dream of. He’s more than happy to maintain the plants, once it becomes too uncomfortable for you.

Stepping out barefoot, onto the soft grass of your shared lawn; you spot your husband, watering the new growth. Raising a hand to your brow, to block the sun, you make your way over. “Hey Neville, how are my flowers fairing?”

He turns away from his work, with a radiant smile. “Very nicely, they’re in full bloom.”

Taglist: @bforbroadway @summer-writes @lupins-sweater @chaotic-fae-queen @a-mexican-waffle @obsessedwithrandomthings @siriusly-addicted-to-writing @firewhisky-kisses @haphazardhufflepuff @peachesandpinks @iliveiloveiwrite @hufflefluff-writer @masterofthedarkness

If you enjoyed this, please be sure to check out all the other amazing works written for A Very Harry Potter Summer. The masterlist can be found on @hufflefluff-writer’s blog! 💕

#neville longbottom x you #neville x y/n #neville longbottom x reader #neville longbottom imagine #neville x you #neville imagine #neville longbottom #neville #harry potter #harry potter imagine #a very harry potter summer #neville x reader #neville longbottom x muggle!reader #neville longbottom fanfiction

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aetheri-system · 3 years

Text

About our experiences

You know, that more serious post about parethnicity turned out to be a pretty nice post so we wanna try making another essay-esque post, this one about our experiences as a system and how we kinda blur the lines between endogenic and traumagenic

(I'm going to generously trigger warning this for: Splitting Mentions, Syscourse, and Mentions of school although none of these are very in depth at all I just wanna make sure I'm covering my bases)

(most things here were left deliberately vague and we won't be elaborating unless we personally know and trust you btw) Alright, so as far as i know, our plurality started about as early as a brain logically can support plurality. Probably age 5, since thats around the time when you develop a personality i think

I want to clarify to anyone who wants to tell me otherwise: there is no way we could have had early childhood trauma before age 5. Like based on what i know it would be flat out impossible for that to happen so don’t tell us we did. because you litterally know nothing about our life

Anyhow, there were a lot of inherently plural things our first headmate, Trinity (Trin), experienced. She actually had a headspace, and what in retrospect feel like very 2d headmates based on things she would find in real life. Most of these would immediately fade away when Trin stopped focusing on them.

Anyhow, Trin lived a pretty chill and happy life until around age 10, when she started dealing with a lot of troubles at school and with connecting with others. We think a lot of headmates formed, mostly to help Trin cope with loneliness, however, having no clue what plurality was, she was barely able to speak to these headmates. If she ever did talk to them, she would usually believe them to be angels, crystals, or other such magic spirit-esque beings.

It was clear that our brain was trying to use its inherent plurality as a coping mechanism, and it suceeded, in a way. When Trin was a little older, she went through a traumatic experience that formed two new members, and actually split Trin.

Like, a DID/OSDD esque split, which is really interesting cause Trin is the only system member to have had that happen to them.

Trin split into three members, Two of whom i will not be naming, but the important one is Claudia. Claudia didn’t know there was a change in fronters, but she certainly felt different, but she suspected that was just like “growth after going through a traumatic experience”

Claudia then went about two years before finally questioning her plurality, and when she did, things started making sense.

Unfortunately, the plurality left us open to more trauma but thats like a whole different story.

An interesting thing to note is that we have memory barriers, albeit very ones, that are a lot more than what most endogenic systems experience (to my knowledge). This is not the only thing, as there are several other things in our system that feel like they have to do with coping with trauma.

It’s obvious we we’re plural before trauma, and we are a proud endogenic system. We aren’t traumagenic, per se, yet it’s hard to imagine many headmates and functions of our system didn’t come from coping with trauma or stress.

I also don’t think that any part of our system, yes, Trin splitlings included, have DID or OSDD. The splitting was a one off thing and hasn’t happened since.

Brains have to find a coping mechanism and seeing as plurality was already there, it makes a lot of sense it would be adapting the plurality for stressful situations.

So yeah thats our weird experience with plurality. It’s different than what many systems experience, Traumagenic and Endogenic alike, but i’m glad its our experience :)

#actually plural #endogenic #plural system #plurality #pluralgang #syscourse #tw syscourse #serious post

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hannibard · 4 years

Text

Waiting for You

My @thewitchersecretsanta gift for @ofxwordsxandxletters. I tried my best to incorporate the things you said you liked and I sincerely hope you enjoy. Happy Holidays!!!

Crossposted to AO3

Pairing: Geralt x Jaskier

It was early afternoon when Geralt made it back to the village covered in monster guts. It wasn’t a particularly difficult hunt, but it did take him quite a bit of time to actually find the cockatrice before killing it, so he returned later than he had originally planned.

The villagers quickly stopped chatting with each other when they saw him and made sure to avoid him as he and Roach passed through a dense road on their way to the alderman’s house. He had been on the path for many years and by now he was used to their hateful gazes along with the rotten stench of fear they always seemed to eminate.

He dropped the pouch containing the cockatrice’s head on the alderman’s threshold and accepted his meagre payment from the man, without having to exchange a single word with him, before going straight for the inn he and Jaskier were staying at.

He left Roach at the stable next to the building and made his way inside, expecting to find the bard singing to a bunch of drunkards, having started his set already, but when he entered the common room, he found it empty and with only a hint of Jaskier’s smell, meaning it had been at least a couple of hours since he’d last been there.

The witcher ignored the small pang of worry in his chest and hurried upstairs to their shared room. He threw the door open with a little too much force and looked around. The bard wasn’t inside as he had hoped, despite all his stuff was still being in the same place he had carelessly thrown them when they first arrived the day before. Even his lute, aka his most prized possession and love of his life, was here and he rarely ever went somewhere without it.

Geralt pinched the bridge of his nose and took a few deep breaths, suddenly feeling stupid for caring this much. Jaskier was a grown man after all. He could do whatever he wanted and Geralt had no right to keep him by his side, despite how much he secretly wanted to, but it wasn’t the right time for such thoughts.

Anyhow, Jaskier was probably off with some barmaid or stablehand that had caught his fancy and had decided to skip his usual performance seeing as they had more than enough coin saved up as of late.

Assuming his friend would be back after he’d had his fun, Geralt started on his typical post-hunt routine: placing his swords and pack on a corner, taking off his armor (though this time without the help of a certain someone’s skilled fingers), calling for a bath and a meal to be brought up and after he was both clean and fed, kneeling on the bed and meditating.

By the time he was done with everything, the sun had long set and with his enhanced senses Geralt could hear the rest of the inn’s guests getting ready for bed, but his bard had yet to return.

Feeling as though enough time had passed for his feelings of worry to be reasonable, the witcher went downstairs to the bar. He placed his empty plate and tankard on the counter and as a man got reluctantly closer to take them away, he asked:

“Have you seen the bard that was with me when I arrived anywhere?”

The man was startled to be addressed but he looked back at Geralt.

“I think he went to play gwent at ‘The Rusty Rapier’ with some guys around midday.”

Jaskier’s skills in gwent were notorious to involve quite a bit of cheating, and since it had been so many hours since he went off, Geralt had a bad feeling about this.

“How do I find this tavern?”

He was given directions by the other man and after going back up to the room to take his swords, he went straight to that place hoping nothing bad had happened to his bard, though he doubted that was the case since neither of them was ever that lucky.

.......

Locked inside an abandoned shed, Jaskier was sitting on the ground, hugging his knees and trying to calm himself down while rocking back and forth in a rhythmic motion.

When he was first thrown in here by the men he had tried to scam, after they’d given him a small beating and taken all the coin he had on him (thank Melitele he had left his pouch at the inn) it was still day outside and he could see clearly around him because of some holes on the shed’s wooden ceiling. And Jaskier was mostly fine at that point, just cheerfully singing to pass the time and waiting for his dearest friend Geralt to come rescue him.

Sure, the few wounds and bruises he had (admittedly deservingly) acquired from his gwent-playing buddies stung a bit but it was nothing compared to what some cuckolded husbands had done to him in the past. Plus, ultimately both in this case and all the previous ones where he’d been roughened up by someone he had brought it upon himself, so he couldn’t really complain.

And yeah, singing was always more fun when he had his lute with him but that wasn’t enough to faze him, he could easily make do even without any instrumental accompaniment. He was a professional musician after all.

But as the hours went by, one after the other, the light from outside started dimming, the temperature dropping and his optimism dying, Jaskier grew more and more anxious. He has always hated the dark ever since his childhood and the whole situation was making him recall old memories that he had tried his best to forget.

By this point he had run out of his own songs to sing and had moved on to the ones he had been taught at Oxenfurt, his voice much weaker than before.

He went to rub a hand over his face and noticed that it was slightly trembling, together with the rest of his body and even though it was very cold, he suspected it was only half the reason. He clenched his eyes shut and rested his forehead against his knees, hugging them closer to his torso. He really fucking hated the dark.

Deep breaths Julian, he though as he dug his nails to his upper arms in order to distract himself and sighed. You have no reason to fear. Geralt will probably be here soon and then both of us can leave this godforsaken place behind in the morning.

Except… what if Geralt didn’t come? What if he used this chance to finally get rid of him? After all it was a well-known fact that the older man only barely tolerated his presence.

Sure, Jaskier’s songs had helped lesser the prejudice that existed against Witchers and made it easier for him to find work, but that didn’t mean he needed Jaskier in his life, he’d made that perfectly clear from the start of their acquaintance. Hell, he still refused to even call Jaskier his friend for fucks sake. The bard had thought they’d grown closer over time but maybe that was only wishful thinking.

Jaskier was only a burden and a nuisance to Geralt, and he couldn’t deny that no matter how much it hurt to admit. Still, the bard loved and cared for him anyways. He always had since that fateful day in Posada.

He might have attached himself to the witcher’s side for mostly selfish reasons at first, but he quickly realized how kind and caring he was behind his tough exterior and how low his self-esteem had become from decades of dealing with humans’ contempt and so he had vowed to do everything in his power to create a better world for him.

And although he knew this love wasn’t mutual and that he should have been content by being able to stay with him, even if only as a travel companion, a small traitorous part of him would always crave for more...

Nevertheless, if the witcher was aware of Jaskier’s feelings towards him he probably would have ditched him in some backwater town a long time ago, and so the bard was careful to lock them up inside his chest and never let them show.

But what if he had been careless? What if he let his touch linger while washing Geralt’s hair a little too long? What if he had written a few too many love songs recently with references to ‘luscious silver hair’ and ‘perfectly sculpted biceps’?

Perhaps the reason Geralt hadn’t come yet was because he had left the village without him as his way of letting Jaskier down gently.

Or even worse, what if he’d gotten hurt? Cockatrices (as the witcher suspected the monster he was sent to kill this time was) were fairly easy for Geralt to handle if they were by themselves but accidents could always happen.

What if he was bleeding to death from a fatal wound right this moment when Jaskier had no way to find and help him? If he wasn’t such an idiot and gotten himself in this situation, he might have been able to save him.

All those what ifs were making Jaskier more and more distraught and he could feel tears fill his eyes. He buried his face in his hands and started sobbing quietly, no longer able to continue his singing when suddenly the door was kicked open. The musician looked up abruptly, but he couldn’t make out who was in front of him because of the darkness.

“Jaskier?!” yelled a very familiar gruff voice.

The bard’s eyes widened, and he wiped his tears with the back of his hand. “G-Geralt? Is that you?”

The witcher dropped to his knees beside him. “Yes, it’s me.” He said and started running his hands all over Jaskier’s body, checking for injuries. “You don’t seem badly hurt. Can you stand?”

The bard nodded and got up with his friend’s assistance. It was a bit hard since he felt as if his legs had turned to putty after staying in one position for so long but after leaning on the wall for a moment, he was able to take a few trembling steps. Geralt helped him get outside and onto Roach’s back before climbing to sit behind him. “How do you always manage to get in trouble?” The witcher asked as Roach started galloping towards the village.

Jaskier gave a weak laugh in response. “Must be a talent. How did the hunt go? Are you hurt anywhere?”

Geralt sighed and shook his head. “How you had time to worry about others when you were in that situation evades me.”

“Don’t avoid the question!”

“…The hunt went well and I didn’t get hurt.”

“Promise?” the bard asked, knowing the older man had a habit of hiding his injuries from him.

“Promise.”

Jaskier smiled softly and leaned on his chest, all of a sudden feeling very tired. “Good. How’d you find me?”

“I paid a visit to ‘The Rusty Rapier’ and asked about you. After a bit of threatening, the men you cheated at gwent told me where you were.”

“Heh…Took you long enough.” Jaskier grumbled.

“I thought you were just fucking someone’s wife or something, didn’t expect you to be locked in a shed.” Geralt answered but he sounded somewhat apologetic.

Jaskier chuckled. “I was kidding big buy. Thanks for coming.”

Geralt just hummed in response and the bard could feel the vibrations of it on his back as he dozed off.

.......

When he woke up, he found himself back at the inn’s room. He was laying on the bed in his nightclothes and as he sat up, he noticed that his wounds had been bandaged. The sight brought a small smile to his face. He was about to get up when the door opened and Geralt walked in, carrying a bowl of what seemed to be stew and a tankard of ale. He looked surprised to see Jaskier awake. “You’re up.”

“So it seems.”

The witcher placed the food on the table. “How do you feel?”

Jaskier thought about it. “A bit sore.”

Geralt huffed a laugh. “That’s to be expected. Come.”

Jaskier obeyed and got up, making his way to the table. He sat down and started eating eagerly, only now noticing how hungry he was. When he was done, he pushed the empty bowl away and looked up at the older man. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, thank the innkeeper that had to get up and prepare this in the middle of the night.”

“No, not just that. For everything.” He said nodding towards his bandaged arm. “And… I’m sorry for always causing you trouble.”

The witcher looked a bit taken aback by that but he quickly schooled his expression. “It’s fine.”

Jaskier gave him a lopsided smile and looked down on his hands that were resting on his lap. Geralt waited a bit to see if the bard would say anything and when it was apparent that that wasn’t going to happen, he took hold of the bowl and tankard and went downstairs to leave them somewhere for the innkeeper to find in the morning. He also dropped by the stables to check on Roach.

When he returned, the bard barely noticed his presence. He was still sitting in the same position, not having moved at all, looking dazed and forlorn. Geralt’s brows furrowed in worry and he sat down on the bed.

“Jaskier.”

The musician didn’t turn to look at him, still distracted by his own thoughts. “Hm?”

“What’s wrong?”

Jaskier blinked rapidly a few times and looked up at him. “Nothing’s wrong.”

Geralt sighed and rubbed his face. “You’ve been a bit… out of it. Since I found you.” The witcher had never been good with words, that was Jaskier’s job. But he desperately wanted to help his friend, so he pushed on. “I’ve just never seen you so uh. Quiet. You’ve always been unfazed by any situation, cracking jokes even when that griffin dislocated your shoulder.”

The bard glared at him “Well I though you fucking preferred the quiet.” he snapped and then immediately regretted it, his gaze softening. “Sorry… it’s just-” He cut off himself and sighed. He got up and came to sit next to the witcher. “You might laugh at me when you hear this but… I’m afraid of the dark.”

That definitely wasn’t what Geralt expected. “What? How’s that even possible? We’ve made camp in the woods countless times and you always seemed perfectly fine.”

Jaskier let out a nervous laugh. “That’s because you were there with me. I don’t have an issue when I’m with others but when I’m alone I just kind of lose it. Oh, and there’s also a bit of claustrophobia sprinkled in there.”

“Hm. I never would have guessed.”

The younger man snorted. “Well it’s not like I advertise it.” He scratched his cheek and bit his lower lip. “So that’s why being in that shed affected me this much. Anyhow, I’ll be over it by morning probably.” He bumped the witcher with his shoulder. “Don’t worry, my silly little phobias won’t delay our schedule.”

Geralt immediately felt guilty for making his friend think he would care more about being back on the Path than his mental wellbeing. He frowned and took one of the bard’s hands in his own, giving it a little squeeze. “Jask, if you need more time I wouldn’t mind staying here for a few days longer. I-I just want you to be ok.”

Jaskier’s eyes widened and he looked as if he was about to cry. “Oh Geralt… This means a lot to me. Thank you.”

The witcher smiled at him and gave him a look that seemed full of affection, though Jaskier didn’t dare hope. “Anytime.” He coughed to clear his throat. “So… Do you want to talk about it? Your fear of the dark?”

“Well… There’s not much to say really… It started when I was very young, and my parents decided that to keep me from becoming even more of a disappointment they’d have to find new, stricter ways to punish me for my wrongdoings.” He ran his free hand through his hair. “And one of them was locking me inside a dark storage room for days, without giving me any food until they’d deemed that I had learned my lesson.”

Jaskier was retelling all that casually, as if he was talking about the weather but Geralt was horrified by his words. He always had a hunch that the bard likely didn’t have the best childhood- being a disowned noble and all- but he never guessed that it was actually that bad.

Because how could someone that didn’t receive any love as a child be so full of it as an adult? How could someone that grew up in such a joyless environment be able to spread happiness and laughter wherever he went? How could he wear his heart on his sleeve, letting anyone he met just take it from him and trample it down if he knew better?

“Jaskier that’s fucking horrible, how could you call the fear all that trauma has instilled in you just ‘silly little phobias’?!” His voice raised with each word he spoke, and he was yelling by the end of the sentence.

The bard flinched away from him and avoided his gaze. “Because it’s all in the past Geralt. It’s stupid, to be this affected by it still.”

The witcher was at a loss for words. Jaskier was a pretty talkative guy, always chatting about one thing or the other, but he rarely ever mentioned his family and now the older man could see why, even if he couldn’t completely relate.

Part of him would always resent his mother, Visenna, for abandoning him and thus leading him to the life of a witcher but even still, he had retained many nice memories from their short time together. Instances where she hugged and comforted him or sung him a lullaby to sleep, he treasured all of them dearly.

Because at the end of the day, even though it might not have been as strong in comparison to other mothers, Geralt knew in his heart that Visenna loved him.

And knowing that Jaskier probably couldn’t even be sure about that (because how could a parent that starved their child willingly for days and locked them up have any capacity for love and affection? With that being only one of the punishments) was paining him more than the bard could ever imagine. He wanted nothing more than to envelop him in his arms and protect him from the cruel world they were forced to live in.

He was perfectly aware of what all this meant of course. He might have been bad at dealing with emotions but after the first few years of travelling together, even he couldn’t continue to deny the feelings held towards Jaskier.

It was almost inevitable really. After spending so much time with someone like the bard, with his gorgeous smile and cornflower blue eyes, his easy-going attitude, his beautiful singing voice, someone that had not once been afraid because of him and that had stood up for him when others treated him unfairly, he was bound to fall in love.

“It’s not stupid Jask.” He said after a long exhale. “You’re so strong to have gone through something like that. Most people would have broken under such circumstances.”

Jaskier didn’t look convinced and he smiled wryly while shaking his head. “It’s music that saved me y’know. Whenever I was locked up, I would start singing the melody to whatever few songs I knew, and during those times I could almost forget the hunger and the cold and all the expectations I had failed to meet.” He sniffled and rubbed his eyes. “That’s why I decided to become a bard later on. So that I’d be able to create music too, and maybe help other people when they’re feeling down and give them hope through it.”

When the bard finished speaking, Geralt brought his free hand up and wiped a stray tear that had slid down his cheek. “You’ve done a wonderful job so far. I know I don’t say it much, but I really like all your songs. Yes, even the ones about me.”

Jaskier snickered inelegantly, surprised by his words. “You might regret admitting that darling cause I’m never gonna let you live it down.”

Geralt chuckled. “Hm. True that.” He said and gave the musician a small sad smile. Jaskier rolled his eyes elbowed him in the stomach.

“Oh come on, don’t make that face now! Honestly, if I knew you’d be this affected I wouldn’t have told you.” He said teasingly, trying to make this conversation a bit more lighthearted but the witcher wasn’t having it. He grimaced and maneuvered his body to better face the bard.

“Of course I’m affected Jaskier, how could I possibly not be?! To me you are...” He stopped himself before he could finish that sentence. Nothing good would come if he revealed his feelings to Jaskier. Such a bright person that had their whole life ahead of them would never be interested in a witcher. The bard had helped him see himself in a better light in recent years but that didn’t change the fact that he was a monster, a mutant killing machine that was undeserving of the kind and sweet musician.

Jaskier, unaware of Geralt’s internal monologue, tilted his head the side, looking simultaneously curious and adorable. “…To you I’m what?”

Geralt avoided his gaze. Even in the best-case scenario, the witcher could only hope that the bard would take into consideration their friendship and long history together and not show his disgust too much. Maybe even begin a relationship with him out of pity, but it wouldn’t last long.

Geralt had seen the way Jaskier’s previous flings had gone. He always fell head over heels for some random person that he met during their travels and spent a few weeks, or months at most lavishing them with attention but after that time period passed, he’d fall out of love just as quickly and leave his ex-paramour behind as he rejoined the witcher’s side.

It always secretly pleased Geralt, making him feel superior. Because even if he could never really have Jaskier, not like those other people did, at least he had the knowledge that the younger man would always come back to him. It helped lessen the sting of his jealousy.

And if he ever were to be the recipient of Jaskier’s attentions, no matter how nice it could be at first, he wouldn’t be able to bear it when he became the next person Jaskier left behind, especially after getting a taste of everything he ever wanted. That would only serve to haunt him in his dreams.

But the bard deserved to know. He had just laid down his heart and let Geralt see him at his most vulnerable state. That meant he trusted him enough to do that and the witcher wanted to show him how much he appreciated it by in turn showering him with all the love and affection he held for him. So he took one large breath to brace himself and let the truth out.

“To me you’re everything.”

Jaskier’s eyes widened but he didn’t pull away. “Huh?”

Geralt started tracing circular patterns with his thumb on the other man’s hand. “It’s exactly as I said. When I first met you, I thought you were just a stupid kid looking for adventure and easy coin, and that once you had a taste you’d go back where you came from. But you never did. You stuck next to me through thick and thin, no matter how much I tried to push you away or treated you like shit. You were like an angel, entering my life out of the blue and improving it in every aspect.”

“I hadn’t even realized how lonely I was until you came along. Back then I only focused on my job as a witcher, not really caring if I’d make it out alive whenever I fought a monster. But nowadays I’m extra careful and I try harder just so that I can see you again. You’ve made life worth living again Jask and I… I love you.”

Jaskier just stared at him with his mouth hanging open.

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was it possible that he was still locked in that shed and had begun to hallucinate from the lack of food? Because this whole situation definitely seemed too good to be true.

He pinched himself hard on the arm for good measure.

“Ouch!” Yeah no, it was real. “Are-are you serious?”

Geralt pursed his lips and nodded, looking almost comically grim. He could hear the other’s heartbeat start to pick up.

“And I understand if you feel uncomfortable and want me to be gone by morning, I’m not expecting anything so-hmph!” He was interrupted as Jaskier’s lips crashed onto his. The witcher froze, not able to comprehend what was happening right away but when he did, he wrapped both arms around the other man’s waist and kissed him back with vigor.

When they eventually had to break apart, they were both breathing heavily and Jaskier rested his forehead on Geralt’s, chest heaving, and felt an involuntary shiver run up his spine. “Gods, I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

The older man brought his hand up and started petting his hair gently, feeling giddy and a little nervous. “Me too.”

This had gone much better than expected and no matter how things turned out in the future, he would never regret this moment.

Jaskier pulled away to look him with the brightest smile on his lips, his eyes crinkling in the corners with the force of it. “I love you too dear heart, I have since the day we met.”

Geralt blinked in shock. “You have? But you never said anything and you’ve been in a thousand relationships since then.”

“That’s because I never expected you to feel the same way! No one else could ever compare to you witcher and now that I have you, I’ll never look at other people ever again.”

Jaskier laced their hands back together and brought them up to his mouth, giving a kiss on the back of the witcher’s palm, letting his lips linger for a few seconds. “I promise.”

With all his worries gone, Geralt grinned at his bard and pulled him to his chest for a tight embrace.

They sat there like that for a long time, just basking in each other’s presence and their close proximity.

“…We’re both pretty stupid aren’t we?”

“Pffft, we sure are.” Jaskier said as he nuzzled his lover’s chest when a thought entered his mind. “By the way, how long has it been since you last slept?”

“Two days give or take.”

The bard looked up at him horrified. “What the hell Geralt! We have to fix that immediately.” He said and blew out the few candles that were still lighting the room, before pushing the witcher to lie down on the bed and joining him. They curled around each other on their sides, torsos facing, and Jaskier buried his face on Geralt’s neck as the older man pulled the blankets over them. When they were settled, he wrapped his arms around the bard and tangled their feet together.

The younger man was about to fall asleep when he heard the witcher’s deep voice calling his name.

“Jaskier?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you since before this whole thing happened.”

“M’listening.”

“…Do you want to come to Kaer Morhen with me for the winter?”

Geralt held his breath as he waited for a response. It came in the form of Jaskier pulling back slightly, only to give him a long, gentle kiss.

“Of course I’ll come darling.”

The witcher was relieved and felt excited for the months to come. He smiled softly even though he knew the other man couldn’t see it. “Then we’ll have to buy you one of those thick woolen coats you hate sometime soon.”

Jaskier groaned. “Fuck. I guess it’s worth it.” He gave him one last kiss before closing his eyes once more. “Goodnight love.”

“…Goodnight.” Geralt replied and then dozed off to the best sleep he’d had in decades.

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