#(There was a period of time I enjoyed having my Saturdays to myself because of Sh@bbat and not really focusing on f@ndom right in the moment

[baalzebufo]

seriously tho the current al fixation has been great because its meant goin back and listening to all the songs I never bothered to hear before (like the first album which ive never even touched before) and finding some new faves there (check's in the mail and I'll be mellow when im dead <3)

just having fun being sillay

[sitp-recs]

Favourite Drarry recs (long fics maybe? pretty please?) that are ideally to enjoy this Spring season ?

Hello again! That’s a great ask - I have a long fic rec list that you might find interesting, but this inspired me to do something more specific with Spring vibes feat house renovations, cooking as love language, gardening, domesticity, no angst romance etc etc etc. This is 100% based on my own perception of spring vibes btw, but I hope you’ll enjoy these as much as I did!

💐 Short fic:

magic in the making by @getawayfox (G, 2k)

I didn’t see Malfoy for a year after the trial. When Gin told me that, according to Pansy, he had opened a little posh bakery in Mayfair, I thought she was joking, so I went to see for myself.

Market Saturdays by @sorrybutblog (M, 3k)

In which Harry is an accidental part-time cheesemonger, Draco is an organic farmer and they fall in love. Not an AU.

The Long Fall by @tackytigerfic (M, 3.6k)

It's supposed to be a simple house renovation, and maybe it's just the paint fumes, but Harry is feeling dizzy around Draco Malfoy. And what's the real meaning of family, anyway?

Ice Snakes, Glow-worms and Wolverine Stew by khalulu (M, 8k)

Harry Potter apparently wants to talk to Draco about something, but odd events keep getting in the way of that conversation – and bringing them closer together. Featuring serpentine travels, misbehaving birds, dubious roofing projects, a gay beach, and an unexpected matchmaker.

Life goes not backward by @shealwaysreads (T, 9k)

Harry still isn’t used to gifts, but this one is different. A story of coming home, finding safe ground, and the wild courage of putting down roots.

A Truth Universally Acknowledged by @sorrybutblog (M, 17k)

A year out from the war, Harry agrees to accompany Hermione on a historical walking tour of Pride and Prejudice. Not in the itinerary: running into Draco Malfoy, setting off a summer of stately homes, lavish parties, resentful shagging, and maybe, falling in love.

amid this warm and steady sweetness, orphaned (E, 21k)

Harry is not living in a period drama, no matter what his friends or his new house or Malfoy’s sudden affinity for horse-riding might suggest, and if one more person uses the word courting, he’s going to start hexing people.

💐 Long fic

Moldova's Magical Tea by @aibidil (E, 32k)

Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, and—to everyone’s surprise—Draco Malfoy are opening a magical tea shop to revive wizarding tea culture and, hopefully, to bring the community together after the war. Harry, who is unemployed and trying to find his way in post-war society, wants to help his friends with their new business—but that means spending a lot of time around Malfoy.

Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon by @drarrytrash (E, 36k)

According to Harry’s personal narrative regarding the incident, he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy for purely self-destructive reasons, or out of convenience, or by some unlucky accident. Looking at him, sprawled in the moonlight, Harry is devastated to recall that he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy because he’s hot.

Follow the Water by @xanthippe74 (T, 40k)

Harry Potter’s life is fine. Maybe a little dull and predictable, but he shouldn’t complain about that, right? When he unexpectedly finds himself at Luna’s house one afternoon, Harry gets invited to join the secret wonderland that she’s creating with a surprising group of friends. Maybe a summer outdoors is just what a former hero needs to bring some zest back into his life.

Through the May Air, Over the Ocean by tsauergrass (T, 45k)

Draco Malfoy never expected to find himself in Scotland or being stuck in a cottage with Potter—but wonders never cease. A story about warmth, a story about falling back in love. A story about a flock of sheep in the distant fells of Scotland.

Our Objective Remains Unchanged by @citrusses (E, 46k) - Muggle AU

Harry Potter, returning member of the Oxford University Boat Club, has two goals for the spring of 2005: beat Cambridge, and beat Draco Malfoy. Perhaps not in that order.

Sweeten to Taste by @saintgarbanzo, @babooshkart (E, 51k)

It starts with Draco's buckwheat crepes with honeyed oranges. Or maybe it starts with his porridge with toasted walnuts and homemade apple butter. Or perhaps it starts with the cinnamon buns Draco made from scratch with mascarpone icing. Harry just knows he's hungry for more.

Against All Odds by momatu (E, 54k)

Beauxbatons is hosting the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe, and Harry has promised to enroll Teddy as his birthday present. Meanwhile, Draco is stuck in his office, putting together the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe during, when he should be enjoying summer holidays.

What Branches Grow by @the-fools-errand (M, 55k)

When a run-of-the-mill investigation turns up evidence that the Death Eaters may be resurfacing, Harry seems to be the only one who believes Malfoy has anything to do with it. Yet according to official records, he’s been the poster child for the Ministry’s post-war Rehabilitation program, living in a small muggle town in Wales.

Meet Me at Midnight by @the-starryknight (T, 57k)

Harry was beginning to wonder if he’d ever make anything again when Malfoy stormed through the door of Harry’s furniture shop. Now Harry’s got an impossible Ministry commission to finish, and even less energy than ever to deal with his elusive muse. That is, until he stumbles upon the surreal and beautiful world of a mysterious fae creature…

Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi (E, 58k)

Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.

The Promise of Summer by Omi_Ohmy (M, 66k)

How was Harry supposed to know that coming back for eighth year would be so confusing? Everything is the same, and yet not the same. And nowhere is this more obvious than with Draco Malfoy. Harry finds himself once more watching and following Malfoy, trying to work him out. When they are drawn together to heal the castle, Harry doesn’t just find Malfoy - he also finds himself.

Home Truths by @skeptiquewrites and @fantalfart (E, 67k)

In the off-season Harry decided to fix up Grimmauld Place and found that Draco Malfoy was the only person who could help him. A demanding career and unrelenting press scrutiny were enough to deal with before Harry added a house with a mind of its own, family history, and a tense, flirty, complicated relationship with his childhood nemesis to the mix.

The Claiming of Grimmauld Place by @bixgirl1 (E, 74k)

When Grimmauld Place begins fighting against Harry’s ownership of it, he decides he needs help to train the historic home — but little does he expect that it’ll be Malfoy who’s most suitable for the challenge. However, as Malfoy and Harry get closer, Harry comes to understand that expectations aren’t always the best path by which to guide his heart — and in the process learns just what is needed to make a house a home.

Knead by laughingd0g (E, 83k)

This is not a story about Harry renovating Grimmauld Place. This is a story about coffee shops and brewpubs, about Ginny and Luna on a farm with creatures, about magical Oregon, coastal road trips, flying, friendship, and Draco Malfoy's lean arms.

Wild, orphaned (E, 92k)

“No,” Harry said, by way of greeting. Malfoy’s blonde head rose slowly, carelessly. “Get out.” “I feel as though we’ve already established this, Potter,” Malfoy responded. “And I feel that what we established was that you telling me to get out of places really doesn’t make me more likely to vacate them.”

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by nerakrose, dustmouth (T, 96k)

Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry.

The Liars Department by @dorthyanndrarry (T, 103k)

This is a story about Harry meeting up with Draco Malfoy four years after the war. And a story about Harry, well, not hating his job per say, but it's not like he has much to compare it to and it seemed fine. His whole life seemed fine. Then Malfoy came along with and his flashy suits and fast car making everything seem dull in comparison, and Harry... Harry couldn't just leave well enough alone.

Any Instrument by @dictacontrion (E, 131k)

Draco Malfoy wouldn't go back to England for anything less than an exceptional case. Being asked to figure out why Harry Potter can't control his magic might be exceptional enough to qualify.

[pinkkop]

This week's episode is brought to you by my We Are rewatch because that's apparently how I'm dealing with Perfect 10 Liners ending. If you liked Perfect 10 Liners, I'd definitely highly recommend We Are!

QL Recap for Week 14

The 31st of March to the 6th of April

🇹🇭 Lost in the Woods

Episode 3 of 7 || Watching on: Gagaoolala, Wednesday

I'm still a fan of this show!! I like the production a lot, even if it's nothing fancy, like Top Form. As someone who enjoys good views and nature a lot, this show is right up my alley. I do worry what kind of ending they're going for because I don't know that any of our main characters be able to change so much that they would stay on or leave the farm depending on which one of them you're talking about.

🇹🇭 Perfect 10 Liners

Episode 24 of 24 || Watching on: Youtube, Sunday

Oh this was a good show! It didn't manage to surpass We Are for me but it still had some good pairings with great chemistry and some fun friend dynamics which I think are some of the most important things about shows like this and We Are. Particularly for this final episode I'm really glad that Yotha and Faifah got a chance to talk about their mom even if I still think she needs to be punted into the sun. I didn't really have any strong feelings about any of the actor pairings before I started this show but they all really proved themselves to me during it. It felt like all the character's and their plot-lines fit the actors so well and highlighter their strengths in acting. I could see myself going back to re-watch one or two of the pairings but I doubt that I'll ever do a full re-watch.

🇹🇭 Your Sky of Us

Episode 2 of 3 || Watching on: iQiYi, Saturday

This is straight up candy floss. Soooo sweet but not a lot of substance. Good thing I like candy floss! Downside is that this show makes me more excited for ThomasKong's and AuauSave's next shows but those will probably not air any time soon 🥺

🇹🇭 I'm Your Moon

Episode 4 of 8 || Watching on: iQiYi, Sunday

Oh Prey has game! It's so good when the younger character is the one most persistently pursuing the other and honestly this dynamic is what I need when there's a larger age gap. I do love the insights we got into Earl's thoughts with both the shower and the café because she's a character that holds all her cards to close to her chest and is hard to read, so this gives us an insight we otherwise wouldn't have had. On another note, I'd like to thank the second (third?) couple for their effort in that bath even it I was confused for a second why they'd gotten in the bath with clothes on. I guess that's one way of fixing the problem of not being able to show female presenting nipples on TV #RIP On the whole it feels like a lot of effort and heart has been put into this show but some aspects of the production definitely suffer from a lower budget, which I'm imagining is a common problem with GLs at least in comparison to BLs. Either way I'm enjoying it and looking forward to next weeks episode.

🇹🇼 Fight for You

Episode 3 of 12 || Watching on: Gagaoolala, Friday

The first three episodes of this show has me intrigued. It's a really interesting premise and I can't wait to see how it turns out. I bet Da Hei has gotten himself mixed up in something bad because he so desperately wants to take care of his sister, and him and Xiao Bai will for sure get in the middle of some dangerous situation, especially after boss man said that he's basically sent Xiao Bai to investigate Da Hei because it seemed like the best way to keep Da Hei safe.

🇹🇭 Top Form

Episode 3 of 11 || Watching on: Gray, Thursday

I'm slightly more convinced about the pairing after this episode. Speeding through that time period helped a lot to even out their dynamic but I'm still side-eying Jin. Like did he really have a cold? Also I spent the entire honey scene worried for the carpet and thinking that's a waste of honey. In this economy?! Anyways, the production quality makes it an easy watch even if I'm not sold on the pairing or plot so I'll keep watching.

🇹🇭 My Golden Blood

Episode 4 of 12 || Watching on: Youtube, Wednesday

Not much happened plot-wise this episode and I think I've figured out why none of the comedic moments have been hitting the spot for me and I think it's in part because of Gawin. I don't know if it's his comedic timing or if it's the direction he's getting or just the script but something isn't adding up. I've seen people both really liking him as Tong and not and I'll have to admit that for me he's falling a little short for me in this show.

That's it for this week!!

For links and airing schedule check out World of BL (Only for BLs)

[corawithfanfiction]

I Should've Kissed You Longer I Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Episode 4

episode 3 - episode 5

MY MASTERLIST! - EVENTS!

This is an original story and may not be copied or translated into another language without permission!

Summary: Steve is awake and after he wakes up, nothing is going the way you expected. The Avengers are trying to support you.

Warnings: loss, denial, uncertainty of death, amnesia, loss of memory, non-contact, obscurity, mourning, unconsciousness.

Author Note: I know that a few chapters are short, but the first chapters are a bit short as I need to cut the story in logical places as the chapters will get longer and longer. According to the current plans, our story will be around 27-28 chapters, enjoy your reading.

Friday, June 28

afternoon

Believe me, I'm trying not to let it end, but I'm exhausted.

Tony came up to me after I wrote earlier and asked why I didn't give you the notebook. It's not like you're gonna read three pages and get a flashback. In short, I feel like it's not going to work, so I've decided not to give you the notebook yet. I don't know when I'll give it to you…

I was talking to Tony, and after a long time, your door opened and you came out, followed by Bucky. Not for a moment did your eyes find me, Steve… Not for a moment. As you opened the door, you glanced at Tony, who was leaning against the wall next to me, nodded, and left, followed by Bucky. It was like a dagger through my heart. Just the sad look Bucky gave me told me how I was, how I looked on the outside.

So Tony took me to his lab, he knows I like his place, but no way. How could he dare to go anywhere near the concept of me being in a good mood? How can I have the possibility of recovery? I don't push this hard at university or in my specialty exams. Most things suck!

Anyway, let's not go on about that, Bruce came up and talked to me a little bit. He said a few things but I couldn't even listen. I was -

Forget it, you don't care.

Y/N

Saturday, June 29

In the morning

I'm cold, my skin is numb. I feel like I'm dying. I'm crying here like a teenager when I should be in churches because you keep breathing, but the situation we're in is terrible. I thought I could handle everything as effortlessly as water. Stupidity. How did I ever get through college with this idiocy?

A few hours ago Wanda was with me. Normally we are not very close, just greetings from a distance. But she came and told me about your memories of the missions you went on together. I'm still at the headquarters now, so she didn't have to travel far to get to me. I didn't meet you because I locked myself in my room and I think you are outside the headquarters. But I'm still locked in here. Anyway, then Wanda told me about you. Your advice, your strategies… It felt good to hear you from someone else. After a while, she put her hands on my temples and it was incredible.

I relived my memories with you, Steve. It was so incredible.

For example, the first time I saw you. Oh, my God… When you made me relive it, I literally felt you in my bones again. That feeling when I first saw you, that big contraction in my diagraphram… Everything went out of my mind for a moment. There was only you, walking in. I didn't care about your clothes or anything else. Whatever it was that made me turn my eyes to you, you turned to me for the same reason, and my gaze and our eyes met at the same time. I trembled from head to toe. It was like a flood, the heavens rumbled, the earth split open. All I cared about was you. I wanted to live in that moment forever.

Then I saw the first time we lived in the same house. The first day. Seeing you up close, at least again. It's just something unattainable for me right now.

Well, you may say, according to you, we were together only a week ago. You wouldn't believe me if I told you how long this time has seemed to me. You may think I'm telling you now, but no, you don't.

I still have this feeling in my stomach. If I say it's my period, I don't have pain at that time, and if I do, it kills me. You might be wondering why I'm telling you this. Something's coming, I feel it. I'm writing this to you because… I'm writing it.

You should know something, Steve. I love you. I love you so much. And I want you to know that I'm here for you whenever you want me.

No matter what,

We can go home…

Y/N

TAG LIST: @nekoannie-chan@delilah-heythere-blog@delilah-hey@calimoi@nanamiswh0r3@shamrockqueen@afrapic@bstrgar@schrutepark13@shadyloveobject@tfandtws@katmock@veryempathatic@temmxi@bobgirllll@just-a-hungry-reader@svechniswift@biancsthings@thesorcererstale@dxbrevgrey@smallmarvel@chrisevansbuddy @caplanreblogsfics @slavicangelmuah @nekoannie-chan

[snapghoul]

I am so so so charmed by your Seresin twins universe. Do you have more thoughts on what they were like in high school? I love your idea of Jake standing up for Tyler (behind his back, of course), if you feel like fleshing that out in a full fic...

Thanks for sharing all your head canons and stories with us -- I can't wait to read more!! 💙💙

You got me giggling and kicking my feet, I’m so happy you’re enjoying my au ❤️❤️

You keep thinkin’ that you’ll never get burnt

The two times Jake defended Tyler with his fists.

Note: I really suck at writing trash talk oh my goddess, I can’t be mean in for the life of me even when writing.

Warnings: foul language, bullying, physical violence

Song: These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ - Nancy Sinatra

The first time it happened was during freshman year, in P.E. class, in the locker room. Jake had just finished the final day of the track unit. The locker room was buzzing with the usual post-exercise energy. Jake and Tyler didn’t have any classes together, the school knowing better than to but them in the same room.

As Jake was changing, he overheard a conversation between a couple of students he didn’t recognize.

“What’s his name? Seresin? Tyler? Jake’s brother, right?” one of them asked, curiosity lacing their voice.

The mention of Tyler was enough to catch Jake’s attention. He turned slightly, trying to gauge the tone of the conversation.

“Yeah, that’s him. I heard he’s a dirt eater. My buddy saw him at the rodeo on Saturday,” another voice chimed in, followed by a few snickers. “I think he’s a little...”

Jake slammed his locker shut, a sharp prick of anger under his skin. The casual mockery of Tyler, especially about something as hard-earned as the rodeo, stung deeply. So what if Tyler had taken a few falls? He was just starting out this season—he wasn’t going to be perfect right away.

Jake’s hands clenched into fists as he turned toward the group. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, his voice tight with controlled fury. “Tyler’s working hard and getting better.”

Jake stood firm, ready to defend his brother’s honor. The one making the comment was an upperclassman, his face smeared with cocky arrogance. He raised an eyebrow at Jake, clearly unfazed.

“Oh yeah? I say the next rodeo he gets his head stomped on. Maybe that’ll teach him,” the upperclassman taunted.

In a flash of rage, Jake grabbed the kid and slammed him hard against the lockers. The upperclassman’s head hit the metal with a sharp clang. “You shut up!” Jake growled, his voice a low, menacing roar.

The room went dead silent, the other students recoiling in shock. Jake’s anger was raw and unrestrained, his actions a clear message that he wouldn’t tolerate any more disrespect towards his brother.

Jake shoved him once more before storming out of the locker room.

The second time was the one and only time Tyler saw it.

It was Wednesday, fourth period passing time, and Jake was leaning against his friend’s locker while his buddies chatted. He noticed Tyler walking down the hall, animatedly discussing something. Jake followed his brother with his eyes until Tyler disappeared from view.

Jake would never admit it, but he was fiercely protective of his twin. He often noticed the irritated looks and whispered comments directed at Tyler, mostly because of his enthusiastic interest in science.

"God, Tyler never shuts up," Ryan, a teammate from the football team, complained beside him.

"I’m not sure which is worse—listening to him talk about science or just hearing him at all," added Declan, another friend.

“It sucks that you live with him, Jake. I think I’d rather throw myself off a bridge than be his brother,” Ryan joked, and the others laughed.

Jake was not usually prone to violence. Even if he was seething with rage he’d never engage physical aggression. But Ryan’s comment ignited a fierce anger in him. Jake cherished having a twin, someone who was always there to listen and support him. The thought of being without Tyler was unsettling.

“What?” Jake asked, his voice tight with restrained emotion.

“Yeah! C’mon, Jake, he’s fucking annoying. All he does is talk and take up space. Sure, he’s good at the local rodeo, but he’s a fucking—”

Ryan didn’t get to finish his sentence. Jake dropped his books and threw a punch so hard that Ryan stumbled into the lockers on the opposite side of the hallway. Declan, who had been standing close by, received the same treatment.

The crowd in the hall quickly parted, forming a circle around the commotion, their murmurs hushed in shock.

“Say that again, you son of a bitch!” Jake roared, his voice raw with fury. He lunged for Ryan again, his hand grabbing at Ryan’s shirt, his other fist swinging back, knuckles smeared with the blood from Ryan’s nose.

Jake’s fury was unrestrained; Tyler was far from a waste of space—he was everything Ryan and Declan were not. Without waiting for a response, Jake landed another punch. The crowd erupted into chaos, and a few teachers rushed to intervene.

Eventually, two teachers managed to drag Jake away, his kicks and curses directed at Ryan and Declan as he struggled. His fists were bruised and bloodied, evidence of the intense anger he felt.

Jake’s gaze found Tyler amidst the throng of students, his twin’s eyes wide with shock but also with an unexpected smile. Even as everyone around them tried to piece together what had happened, Tyler’s smile shone through. Then, Tyler let out a laugh that was swallowed by the commotion, but Jake caught it. Grinning wildly, Jake noticed the blood in in his teeth, a mark of the punch Ryan had landed on him. The notion fueled Jake’s satisfaction even as he was restrained, he chalked another win.

[jennashousewife]

H.C ― 'MAKE YOU PAY'

�� ˚🎰 you've rolled ― HEATHERS! Heather C. x fem!reader ₊˚🎲. !WARNING/S NSFW! fingering, degrading, r recieving, angry sex lololol -˚🎧song inspired ; Slumber Party - Ashnikko zee mentioned . ᵎᵎ. Kinda requested? Had to hold myself back from tweaking as I wrote this. A lot of gaps going on here but I did enjoy the process of writing this thing. Not as smut-ish as the last one, but it was fun to write. It's a drabble so bear with me, trying to warm up my writing skills to keep posting ughhh.

"I'll fuck you with a chainsaw alright. Except it's my fingers that will destroy you." The words echoed in your head repeatedly as you fidgeted your hands underneath the table. Second period hasn't even arrived and you're basically hyperventilating. Heather has never been this mad with you- ever. Not until yesterday.

It was an ordinary prank- you wanted to provoke Heather, pretty harmless right? You'd flirt with a girl while Heather was around- maybe a little touch on the arm wouldn't hurt. Oh, not at all.

Bad idea.

After that stunt, Heather did not talk to you the entire day- until today. Saturday was supposed to be peaceful- fun even. A slumber party over Heathers. Awesome right? Not when Chandler is breathing down your neck the entire time. Oddly enough, Heather instructed you to sleep in her room, while the other's just stayed in the living room. She didn't care. The others tried to protest, but her word was final.

Hours passed, and everyone but you and her was passed out. Your were peacefully staring out the window until Heather barged in. You jumped from her bed, wide-eyed and surprised. "Don't be shocked, you know this would happen." Heather said in a dangerously low voice as she shuts the door behind her, an angry expression written on her face. "Heather-" You tried to rationalize, realizing what was about to go down. Heather wasn't gentle when she's mad, especially now. But that turns you on, doesn't it, you slut? The voice in your head reminded you, making you gulp as you silently agreed with it.

You couldn't even process what was going on, let alone blink when Heather pushes you down her bed. You let out a little yelp, resulting her hand being on your mouth. "Shut up." Was all she said when you felt a knee press against your pussy. You couldn't help it- or your body couldn't. Your hips jolted, immediately pressing against her knee as you whimpered against her hand. "What makes you think you deserve this, you bitch?" Heather hissed as she straddled you, releasing your mouth and instead pinning your hands above your head. "You've pushed me beyond my limits, you slut. And I'm going to make you pay." Blindfolded. You have no idea what was going on now.

Your entire body arched as you felt fingers pinch your hardened nipple through the fabric of your shirt. Voided from any sort of sight, you're left with your senses. You felt hands all over you- shirt lifted, the fabric of your pants gone. "Look at you- a squirming mess. What a whore." Heather clicked her tongue as her fingers trailed down till your aching clint. She could practically feel the heat radiating off your desperate pussy. "Unbelievable." She groaned as her fingers teased your entrance, sliding only a bit of her finger in and out of you. You begged, and begged some more. Everything became a blur the moment Heather caved in, despite her initial plan to make you suffer.

"Fuck- you're taking me like the good little slut you are." Heather panted as three of her fingers pumped into you ruthlessly, her other hand toying with your hard nipple, her mouth on your other. You could feel her tongue circling your hard tit, making you moan and cry for more.

You were clawing her bed, body arched; your face was buried into a pillow as Heather ate you like a fucking starved animal. Whenever you made a little too much noise you'd feel a sting on your ass- which made you embarrassingly squirt and moan into her pillow. "You're fucking pathetic- squirting all because of my hand slapping your ass?" She'd say with false comfort as she delivers another painful blow to your tender ass as she began fisting you.

"Fuck fuck fuck- Heather please please please-" You'd chant her name like a goddamn prayer, you sounded pathetic but you didn't care. You could feel her knuckles in you as your hips moved in sync, tits bouncing beneath you, your knees becoming numb from how long you've been in that same position- but all you cared about was chasing release. The filthy sound of your drenched pussy colliding with Heather's hand echoed in the bedroom, the creaking noise of the bed becoming the music. Did anyone hear you two? You don't know. Did you care? Absolutely not. With Heather wrecking your pussy and calling you her whore? You didn't give two fucks if anyone noticed.

[b-blushes]

hmmmm talking about enjoying your hobbies Or Not and chronic illness stuff and uhhh mental health :P

not just lately but especially crystallising this morning when i have forced myself to work on my hobbies is the concept of like. those guys are meant to be things you enjoy. i have sparks of that definitely, but it's not like 'yay now i get to clock in at the having fun factory!' it's like 'okay. okay okay okay. now i've got to do my hobbies. because you have to do things that are fun. they are fun alright? this is good for you to do do it okay let's do it lets play together.' i often am happy with the things i make and periodically i do feel excited and motivated to make things and enjoy the process but it really feels like a 'the stars have to align for this to happen and that does not happen often' are u guys enjoying all the time or even most of the time you're doing your hobbies..... guy who might be living with chronic depression voice do u guys feel happy a lot...... and inevitably it feels linked to the disabling chronic illnesses because i do not feel like i'm choosing my life it feels like the day is framed by prioritising the energy for daily living tasks and then filling the time when i have very limited abilities by picking something that sounds nice to do and then making sure that i do it to some degree so i'm doing some enrichment. presenting myself with a charcuterie board of potential to have fun as much as i can. but like. hmm. is what i'm saying. and i'm fully not sure how to enjoy things more. i think about it a lot and try to do it a lot mainly by jumping on any idea that i have or spark of curiosity towards anything that i can physically and monetarily make happen but hmm. i'm making the best of it as best i know how!!! u know how when something has been happening for ages you lose the ability to see that maybe that isn't the way it has to or 'should' be, that just becomes what life is like.

NOT to say i never have fun or enjoy things but like!!!!! the effort. anyway saturday i've been working on my projects and i am pleased and satisfied with that even though it was like. actively work to make myself do that.

[kennedys-lvr]

I DON'T CARE IF (HEAVEN WON'T TAKE ME BACK) — CHAPTER 7 (AO3)

heyo! saturday update teehee. got some action coming up soon, it's gonna be exciting!

idk what else to type here lols. enjoy the update. if you like what you read, pls consider dropping a kudos/comment to let me know! i love seeing engagement on my fics/responding to my readers, so pls engage w me lol

full chapter here!

I was left there, staring at the door she left out of with a strange cocktail of emotions swirling deep inside of me. On the one hand, I was amused and excited by our little spat, feeling an adrenaline rush from how close we had been and the chemistry that still crackled between us. But on the other hand, I was tense, my muscles coiled up tight as the words I’d said to her raced through my mind.

Why did I say that? Why did I lie to her?

There was a reason I had run that night, that I wasn't wanting to tell her. I had wanted so desperately to say something, but the words had died in my throat. Plus, I knew that I would sound like an asshole if I had said them, so I decided the best option was to keep quiet. I’d given her a bullshit answer in an attempt to tide her over, and I wondered if it would have been better just saying nothing at all.

I was jealous. I was jealous, and I was bitter. I had to watch these new recruits gush about her, or listen to the locker room talk—and I hated it. But I couldn't say a damn word because there was no going back on what I had done.

I just had to live with it.

So I did just that. I spent the next four miserable days on that submarine sharing a bunk room with her, unable to say a damn word to her other than the pleasantries. Not around Jason and Shenmei, and certainly not when the two of us were alone—like she would let us be alone.

Anytime there was a hint of us being alone together for an extended period of time, she took off running. Literally. Dee spent nearly entire days jogging around the submarine whenever she wasn't doing gear checks or talking to the navy crew to find something to do. That, or she read a book. I had caught the cover of the book she was reading once—it was some loved up couple with a pink backdrop, a guy in a cowboy hat that was described to be sexy and standoffish according to the back, and a starry eyed female.

It didn't interest me in the slightest, yet I found myself itching to know about it anyway.

As I watched her jogging away from me for the millionth time—leaving me standing in the bunk room with a dumbfounded expression and glazed over eyes fixated on the sway of her hips in those stupidly tight running shorts—I heaved a weary sigh, placing my hands on my hips.

Giving it a minute, I let her round the same corner that she always did before I exited the bunk room, following the metal hallway down towards the kitchen area. I needed a drink—stiff or normal, I didn't care—and something to eat. I was getting bored of the rations on this sub, and craved something delicious and fresh—like that lasagna Dee had brought in, supposedly made by her next door neighbour.

I entered the kitchen and found Jason sitting there. Nodding amicably at him, it gave me pause when Jason didn't respond back in kind—he was frozen to his seat, his eyes glazed over and his breathing short and uneven.

I knew that look all too well. I had caught that same look in my reflection way too many times to count.

“Jason.” I murmured calmly, risking my approach. I had no idea what type of hallucination Jason was having, and I had to treat this with care. Raising my hands like I was approaching a wild animal, my eyes scanned over Jason, looking for anything that he might injure himself with.

He was sweating badly, and his bottom lip was trembling. His hands were balled into fists on top of the blue plastic table. The veins bulged out of the skin in the back of his hands and down his arm from how tightly he was clenching his fists.

I could also see the tiny little dot on the inside of his left forearm, a tiny little pinprick. He’d injected himself with something.

Shit. “Jason.” I tried again, my voice louder this time. Resting my hands on the back of the chair, I gripped it tight as my eyes narrowed in assessment, focused solely on that tiny little prick.

What had he taken? Was he a junkie? Was he fit to lead—

Jason came to, snapping out of whatever vision had sucked him in. He gasped, recoiling back as he blinked rapidly, quickly coming to his senses. He swallowed thickly, looking at me warily. “What are you doing here?” His voice was gruff, immediately on the defensive as he shifted in his seat, his fists relaxing back to normal. His fingers uncurled to reveal tiny crescents dug into his skin from his nails.

“I came in here looking for something to eat.” I said softly, taking a slow breath as I kept my voice as measured as possible. “It looked like you were having some kind of nightmare. You wanna talk about it?”

Jason glared at me for a minute. His jaw flexed with tension, before he exhaled sharply through his nose and gestured silently to the seat in front of him. I carefully sat down, clearing my throat as I settled in.

There was a long, tense silence before Jason eventually scoffed. “They call me the hero of Penamstan. Some fucking hero.” His voice was low—a bitter, cynical mutter. He swallowed thickly, drawing in another slow breath before letting it out in a shaky huff. “Every night I have the same nightmare—about Penamstan, about that day.”

He paused again, before softly murmuring, “It was—it was hell.”

I remained as quiet as I could, giving him the space to talk. “Yeah. I bet.”

“You have no idea.” He uttered dismissively, scoffing again. As if opening up tasted sour on his tongue.

My eyebrows rose slightly, his dismissal making something sting in my chest. “Look—I can’t imagine what it was like for you.” My voice quivered a little, as I felt my annoyance rising. “But I have been through some shit myself. Raccoon City.”

“They sterilised that place.” Jason narrowed his eyes. “You were there?”

“Yeah.” I sighed. I didn't often admit this side of me—my past. It was all laid out in a file somewhere, but I hadn't actually talked about that day in a very long time. Even as I thought about it now, I could feel the lump rising in my throat. “I was just a rookie cop, late as hell on his first day. That’s why I'm still alive.”

Something stung in the edges of my vision. Memories pierced through me, the tortured moans and groans of the millions of zombies that had once been normal residents. People with lives, hopes and dreams. Families. I could still hear the screams of the dead, could still remember the looks on their faces—those dead, soulless eyes.

“They’d get bit and then they’d turn.” I sniffed, feeling that stinging sensation getting worse as it built up in the bridge of my nose and made my eyes water. “There’s no way to describe it except—”

“Hell.” Jason finished, giving me a small nod of solidarity.

“Yeah.”

I blew out a breath, forcing myself to not start bawling. Forcing that past of mine back into its box for the rest of time. Or until I was forced into therapy. I cleared my throat, but as the last little scraps of memories were locked away, the truth of what happened had me frowning as I once more remembered what happened to Raccoon City after the fact.

“The government wiped the city off the map and covered it all up.”

“They didn't want it to spread.” Jason shrugged. “You destroy a city to save a country. It’s a tough call, someone's gotta make it.”

I felt my annoyance worsen at Jason’s attempt at philosophy. Even though he was right—someone had to make that call. But, still.. “There were people alive in there.” There had been families. Kids and their moms, their dads, their grandparents, their siblings. Young lovers. Old lovers. Hope.

The cop inside me screamed in anguish. “They didn't even try to get them out, so tough call my ass—” I stood up briskly, the chair scraping loudly against the floor as I huffed and turned to leave.

I should have just left Jason to it. I didn't have time for this—nor the patience, nor the sanity.

My hand gripped the doorknob tight, but before I was able to tear the door open, I heard Jason standing up behind me.

He sighed wearily. “I get it, you were a cop. It was your job to protect those people. You want justice.” He said in his usual gritty voice, laced with annoyance. Like he was wondering what he had done to end up on a team with me. “But agents like us—we don't get to think that way anymore.”

No. The cop that still lived inside of me refused to accept this. Even though the agent in me knew Jason was right. I had been trained not just to complete all of these critical missions, but to also do so without ever showing remorse.

[cheruim]

i did end up finishing words of radiance yesterday and realized i did not girlblog NEARLY as much as i should've. apologies to whoever thinks i'm funny and/or enjoys hearing me talk. formal analysis covering both my humorous opinions and my serious ones out saturday probably (which. if this turns into a book blog that'll just be the day that they come out regularly)

on that note, next in reading queue is: golden son by pierce brown → gideon the ninth by tamsyn muir -> oathbringer by brandon sanderson (i have to put myself on AT LEAST TWO BOOK hiatus between sandersons otherwise i finish them too fast and then i'll get sad because. because fucking. they get to be real with me for this short period of time and when i am finally done all i can do is revisit the memory of it)

[da-mous]

How did you get the motivation to make games? Or the discipline and determination to actually go all the way thru?

I am just a bad developer, but i have some nice ideas and i actually write them down so I don't forget, like a mix of tunic and minecraft, but with a actual conlang for you to learn and not a english cypher

following through is actually something I really really struggled with for years, but I'm much more productive than I used to be, and I have a few strats that help

1: Structure!! The structure that works for me is working on weekdays (even if it takes time to get going!) and strictly taking weekends off, even if it means not working when I really want to. I don't have strict hours during weekdays, but I try to start early enough in the day so that I can work for 6-8 hours before I get sleepy. I always end up filling the time I give myself! Time tends to fly after the first hour or so

My weekends off are super important, too. I think periodically forcing myself *not* to work on my projects makes me enjoy working on them that much more. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I really feel that in how much I tend to spend my Saturdays, surprisingly, wishing I could be working!! It also helps prevent burnout and offers guilt-free time to play other games, do other hobbies, take care of household chores, etc

2: Thinking time!! It's important to give your mind time to wander, undistracted. That's when inspiration will strike and you'll do your best thinking and planning. I think that's why "shower thoughts" are a thing. Showers are good for this, but they're short! I take daily walks that are between 40 and 120 minutes during which I only listen to music with no words in it--especially music that fits the vibe of my current project! I don't actively try to force my thought process to go anywhere in particular, but it often wanders excitedly to my projects anyway (By the way, I also listen to the same music while I'm working! It's the perfect way to get in, and stay in, the right mindset)

3: Deadlines!! Even soft ones! My roguelike is coming out in 2026. The more I work by then (without overworking myself!), the better the final product will be! The desire to make something really good really drives me

4: Making something you want to play!! Playing my own game is one of the most important parts of my process. The first thing I do every day when I sit down to work is play the game. This naturally drives me toward finding areas I can improve and polish, coming up with features I want, and being motivated to implement those things. The ideal is to feel like a fan of my own work, eagerly awaiting every little update. The more I play, the more I'll tailor the game to my own tastes. This leads to me enjoying it more, so I'll be even more motivated to improve and add to it!

My current project is actually perfect for this, because it's a roguelike (highly replayable, a genre I know I can enjoy for a long time. Binding of Isaac is one of my most played games ever) platformer (one of my favorite genres in general. immediately kinetically satisfying) with a high level of randomization and variety, meaning even I can be surprised by my own game!

The strategies that work for you will likely differ from mine (especially if you have a day job or something!) but hopefully that helps :)

[thedragonagebigbang]

Bang Creator Interview: Tumblr: @crabs-with-sticks  |  AO3: CrabsWithSticks

The Collaboration period has begun! In these quiet months before works are due, we want to foster a sense of excitement, camaraderie, and celebration among our participants. To that end, all participants were given the option of a formal interview by our mod, Dema, or an informal “ask-game” survey. We hope you enjoy getting to know our phenomenal creators as much as we have!

Found Family in Crisis!!!!!! How This Local Woman's Life Just Keeps Getting Worse!!!  

Jacs and Dema talk music, tragedy, DMing tabletop games, and OCs who won't follow the damn rules

Dema: Good morning! Happy Saturday. Are you writing today? 

Jacs: I'm hoping to! Though I might be taking a break from my actual project to do some fun oneshots. Give myself a bit of time away from the tragedy of my bang fic and write something happy haha

Dema: That is very fair! Especially with heavier fics. How do you get in the zone to write, regardless of the project? Or does it vary depending on the vibes of your fic?

Jacs: Normally it involves getting nice and cozy under a blanket on the couch with a good cup of tea. I'll sometimes put a playlist on to get into a particular vibe, I've got a bunch of character playlists which can help get into the perspective of whatever oc I'm writing that day.

Dema: I won't get too specific with this question but, if there is one song on your playlist that especially fits your bang fic, what would it be?

Jacs: Hmm, I'd say probably 'Sampson' by Regina Spektor. The song is based on a tragic biblical story and is all about what could have happened if things had worked out differently. If the love had been enough to save them, then they wouldn't have been remembered by history but they would have been happy.

Dema: Oh okay, arrow straight to the heart. I see, I see.

Jacs: Yeah, I'm a known tragedy enjoyer, just rolling around in the sadness like a dog in a puddle. In order to get optimal levels of tragedy you gotta have some happiness first just so that readers can really see that it didn't have to be this way (but they never could have changed it).

Dema: I can't wait to read it! I also love tragedy, and especially in that ratio. Is there a particular one-shot idea you have kicking around, to cleanse the palate?

Jacs: Not sure! Though probably something with my oc Luca Trevelyan with Dorian, though I haven't actually managed to get very far through that particular playthrough yet....I'm a bit of a serial oc creator who then never gets around to actually playing them in the game.

Dema: Do you always make your OCs in game? Even if you don't get around to the playthrough? 

Jacs: Yep! It’s probably my favourite part of Dragon Age, or any CRPG. I really like thinking up characters, with their conflicts and histories. I'm a forever DM in real life, so I'm fairly used to making up characters and then never playing them, although at least with Dragon Age I already know the events of the game they'll be going through, so I have a better idea of their development arcs. I am trying to do a re-playthrough of the whole series before Veilguard comes out, but we'll see how successful that is haha.

Dema: Do you find that DMing has informed the way you structure your stories?

Jacs: I'd say that it probably has. When I DM I'm always keeping a hand on the pulse of all the characters, their emotions and where they're at in their arcs, because my aim is really to tell a good story. So I think it can help me to see things from the big picture as well as a more mechanical perspective. Though sometimes I do need to tell myself to stop looking at the big picture and just focus on what is at hand.

Dema: I'm a bit in awe of DMs. To me it seems like being the conductor of an orchestra, except all your musicians are improvising. Do your characters sometimes feel like players? Or do they tend to stay within the lines?

Jacs: They do end up getting away from me sometimes, or they'll do something that leaves me going 'huh, why did you just make that decision', because I know it's accurate but I'm not entirely sure why. Though sadly there's no actual player to ask...just my brain. I was intending to make quite a whimsical and happy Brosca, but she just keeps doing morally grey things!

Dema: HAHA ah yes, relatable. I find it's such an interesting balance, for me, between wanting everything in the story to feel a bit inevitable (especially in a tragedy!) and embracing the realism of some things just not having a clear explanation, especially character decisions.

Jacs: Yeah for sure! It's great when characters are messy and contradictory, I just wish it wasn't so hard...I had a character at one point who was making a whole bunch of decisions I wasn't expecting or had planned for, and I'd try to think 'ok why is this character doing this?' and all she supplied in return was 'I'm lactose intolerant'...which honestly was a very in character response; just straight up ignoring the question. 

Dema: A character in writing, or a character in a campaign you were DMing?

Jacs: A character I was writing.

Dema: Hahaha, incredible.

Jacs: I sometimes have, I guess little 'conversations' with my characters in my head where I tap into the section of my brain that they live in.

Dema: That's a great strategy! Is that how your characters first come to be?

Jacs: Hmm, I think the conversation part comes a bit later when I have some context for them, either in their history or in the game itself. It starts off as a lot of collaging together different ideas until it makes a full character. Often I start off from a particular theme or emotional angle I'm interested in exploring. So one started off as 'religious trauma', and another from 'idealism in a cruel society' and so on.

Dema: Has that first theme or idea ever come from a really unexpected source? And related to this, do you tend to be primarily inspired by the source material itself? I know that's a big reason so many of us love DA in particular.

Jacs: I think the themes are usually all ideas that I'm already interested in, but it's super fun seeing the way it can connect to the worldbuilding and lore. I think it's really important for characters to have specifics which tie them into the world around them, so thinking about how their family might have lived in the particular part of the world they're from, how they and the people around them either adhere to or go against it, and what impact that would have on their story. It's really fun looking at how a theme can change based on where the character comes from, like a character with conflict based around religious trauma is going to be different if they're human, Dalish or a city elf, and the world will react to them differently because of that.

Dema: Now I simply must ask you if you ever write AU fics.

Jacs: I haven't written many to be honest, though I do have some ideas for some. It can be hard translating a story that is really rooted in the specifics of one particular world and translating that to another. So I'm always really impressed to see when other people do it so well! I often find you can find a good parallel for one aspect of a character, but then you have to try to fit a second aspect or character conflict in and it doesn't fit the new world at all!

Dema: I feel the same!

Jacs: Writing; it's hard man.

Dema: It is! So why do you do it!? And a follow-up question: writing is hard, and you're signed up for a Big Bang! What made you interested? Is it your first one or have you done this before?

Jacs: It's like a wonderful little puzzle; except it can be all wibbly wobbly and just like real life it doesn't always need to make sense- it's lovely just to embrace the humanness of character writing!

So a bit of context, I recently finished postgraduate studies, and realised I didn't have any hobbies! I used to love creative writing of any sort when I was but a young whippersnapper (they say, in their mid 20s), so I decided to embrace the cringe and get back at it. I've never participated in any fandom events, or even written something this long that wasn't academic! But I'm really loving the community around this event and getting to chat to other writers as we all write (and suffer) together!

Dema: In the last minutes, and just for fun: can you come up with a click-bait title for your fic? Without giving anything major away, of course.

Jacs: Maybe something like 'Found Family in Crisis!!!!!! How This Local Woman's Life Just Keeps Getting Worse!!!’  (To quote the venerable Sir Terry Prattchet: And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.)

Dema: Ten out of Ten, would click again. Thank you so much for setting aside this time to chat with me!

Jacs: No worries! I had a great time!

[jintheastronaut]

since i like to consider myself a music enthusiast here are a few music releases that i have been listening to, some are albums and some are singles and with albums i’ll tell you my favorite/s from said album so let’s begin:

first and foremost when it comes to kehlani they never fail, their music always hits and i’m so excited to finally meet them next month on the 27th !!!!

my favorites from this project are:

- love like

- know better

- border

- let me down (san diego interlude)

- slow dance (feat DIXSON)

next we have:

at first i didn’t really like this album other than 2 songs and the singles because i was comparing this to her previous album (emails i can’t send) which was a bad idea but nonetheless the album has since grown on me and i vibe with it so my favorites are:

- taste

- please please please

- good graces

- bed chem

- espresso

- slim pickins

- juno (my favorite off the album)

next we have:

now i love me some big sean, i’ve been a fan of this man for years so i was excited for him to drop a new album but out of the 21 songs on this album i only liked 9 which is like half but i still expected to like more songs but it’s still a good album i like it, my favorites are:

- iconic

- typecast

- break the cycle (feat charlie wilson)

- who you are (superstar)

- yes

- it is what it is (feat gunna)

- on up

- this and that

- my life / happiness (skit) (feat ellie goulding)

up next we have:

when it comes to muni long i’ve never really paid attention to a full album of hers other than singles but she’s got a few really good songs so i took the chance to listen to her new album in its entirety and she really did it with this one ! my favorites are

- superpowers

- made for me

- make me forget

- revenge

- played yourself

- leave my baby (feat glorilla)

- the baddest

- waste no time

- ruined me

and the last album we have before we move on to singles is:

with doechii i never really paid much attention to her other than the song she had with JT from the city girls but i saw her trending on twitter so i was like ok let me give her a try and she did not disappoint, i like her vibe, her flow and her delivery so here are my favorites

- stanka pooh

- bullfrog

- boiled peanuts

- denial is a river

- catfish

- skipp

- wait

- nissan altima

- slide

- beverly hills

and now onto the singles (it’s only one single but anyway) we have:

ms halle bailey !!!! now when it comes to halle she never FAILS, with angel, in your hands and now because i love you ? she knows she’s that girl and i just love her voice period along with her sister chlöe they both slay so !!

and that’s it for today, i honestly want to make this a series even though no one will care but a series so that i can maybe introduce new music to the people who follow me or to the people who find these posts through the hashtags i’ll put for this post or just to reach the people who also like/love the singles or albums i’ll be listing/reviewing ? and just overall show music i like or have been listening to so i don’t know how consistent i’ll be with this because i’d like to do this every friday (because that’s the day new music drops 😁) (and i know that today is saturday, at least where i’m at so hush) but some fridays i might not find anything i liked so i’m not sure but for now let’s call this series “moon’s music fridays” hope you enjoy !!

[incomingalbatross]

Finished my first week (I don't go in on Fridays) of Commute Listening! (Plus a day technically because I did have to go in last Saturday.)

Here's the summary of the undertaking so far...and of just how much car/public transit time I've logged:

Bach's Brandenburg Concertos 1-6 My beloveds--the only classical music that IS for sure on my faves list, because in the period when I had a CD player in my bedroom and about three CDs, these were two of them. Still not sure how well I could identify them, but I recognized them once they started playing and greatly enjoyed them.

Artifexian podcast ep 1. Interesting! All about worldbuilding. Just far enough removed from my own interests (yes I love fantasy, no I don't enjoy worldbuilding, it took me years to process that) that I can listen as, like, a spectator, but also listening to two people who do love worldbuilding makes me feel more positive about it. Like the energy.

Several Masses by Haydn (St. Cecilia, Mass in B flat, Mass in honor of the Blessed Virgin). Beautiful, obviously, but... did not grab me. Might just be that Masses and commuting are not the right combination. Might be my chant-inclined mind going "you're drawing out the words too much." Idk.

Art of Manliness ep 1, about Easy Company. INteresting and informative—a window into a subject I wouldn't have sought out on my own.

Out Alive ep 1. About a skier buried in an avalanche! Again, not something I would have sought out myself, but hearing the skier and the other people involved talk about the impact of a crisis situation and near-death experience, without any polish or dramatization... oof. Really interesting.

Reply All Billed as a "podcast about the internet," the first ep was about a social situation enabled by the internet. Also interesting as a window into someone else's personal experience that I don't think you'd quite get in any other medium than this unpolished interview format. This time about relationships instead of death, though.

In the Wind (album) by Peter, Paul and Mary. Branching aside from classical for some folk, since I was in the headspace for something between podcasts and instrumentals. Good! I recognized several of the songs but definitely not all. They also reminded me of several other country and folk artists I could listen to if I want to keep going down that road, in addition to listening to more of their work.

Vivaldi Concertos for Diverse Instruments GOOD. I loved these! They got stuck in my head afterward! Definitely want to try more Vivaldi. Also reinforcing my theory that any kind of music is good music if it involves violins going wild.

Mozart Violin Concertos 3-5 ALSO very very good. And I think I could hear the cleaner/plainer sound of Mozart as opposed to the baroque I'd just been listening to.

My Writing Sucks podcast ep 1, in which an author lovingly roasts her 14-year-old self's writing. Very fun. Endearing. Kinda makes me want to pull out my oldest, worst writing and approach it from an outside perspective, which I think would be Growth if my fragile ego could actually follow through on that. :P Maybe after a few more episodes of this.

Pints With Aquinas episode 1. This is an introductory episode giving background on Aquinas, as opposed to later episodes which will have more actual theology. Already good, though. Little harder for me to stay focused than some of the more fun ones, but I'll be coming back.

Classics for Kids Short and educational segment about classical music. Definitely told me things I don't know! A little short and a little flat in delivery for my needs, but good stuff.

Stuff You Missed in History Class ep 1. Interesting, but same issue as the above—it was just short. I need to check if episode length varies, and if they're all short I might load up six or so at once to give it a better trial. It was interesting but I couldn't get much flavor from one segment.

In conclusion, this project is definitely a success so far. I've been enjoying my commutes even when there's traffic, and I feel like I'm taking in things that I enjoy and are constructive in some way! It's fun for me. And I have a bunch of podcasts in store for next week that I haven't even touched yet.

[italeean]

Hello ^^ I’m honestly pretty late, but may I partake in the event?

Name— Suzuni or nickname of Suzu

Description— I enjoy writing stories (though I more often than not find myself daydreaming about what I could write instead lol) and artistic activities such as painting/art & ceramics. Ofc I suck at my hobbies 👍👍 (I think so anyway)

I like,, honestly I have no idea. Daydreaming/picturing scenarios in my mind? I do it rlly often lol, so ig I probably like it? As for dislikes, myself— And rudeness and arrogance lol 

I try to surround myself with people who are both playful/teasy but also decently observant (Warning for mental illness mention— I have depression and consequently may make darker comments at times). I also tend to use a lighthearted and casual tone when talking about serious topics relating to myself (e.g., warning again here, self-death)

Oops that got long, sorry about that :’l

I’m a lee, and as for fandom, either Haikyuu! or My Hero Academia if that’s alright ^^

Relationship— romantic because why not lol

Preferably a male character

Anyhow, have a nice day/evening ^^

Hiiii!! Sorry for the inactivity... again 😅 istg this period is driving me bonkers but I'm also having lots of fun!! Anyway, thanks for participating, I hope you'll like who I matched you up with ❤️🍡 *hands you the usual dango to eat while you read*

🔮 So, for my event your pair is... SHINSOU

🔮 Why did I choose him for you?

1. Sneaky, fairly smug and a little mysterious. Perfect ler material if you ask me 😌 2. I see him as a very caring and careful soul, who doesn't bond with everyone but holds extremely close the ones who manage to gain his trust 3. He would be able to understand if you need help or are struggling mentally, and he'd be there 24/7 for you 4. He could use his quirk to induce relaxation and/or make you fall asleep... obviously if you're comfortable with it and give your consent 5. He would totally get involved in your hobbies! I already see you two painting or doing ceramics together 6. You probably have made a "couple sculpture"... like a heart broken in half and each one of you keeps a half in their bedroom 7. He trained with Aizawa. He knows how to be silent. Expect surprise tickle attacks from any direction at any time~ 8. He'd be extremely happy to read your writings and give you a review about them!! He'd probably use tickling to convince you to let him read them hehe 9. Tickles whenever you say that you suck at what you do! He doesn't tolerate when someone talks badly about someone he loves (even when it's you talking badly about yourself) 10. He finds it extremely cute when you space out and daydream, so instead of interrupting you, he would cuddle up to you and hold you in his arms while you imagine any kind of scenario 11. He probably volunteers cat shelter, and sometimes you join him. Seeing how gentle he is with cats made you fall in love with him all over again. 12. When his insomnia hits hard, he comes to your room and you two end up hanging out together all night long. Or if you fall asleep, he just cuddles you and watches over you, as if he could keep bad dreams away.

🔮 Tickle scenario

Everyone liked weekends, but you surely had one more reason to enjoy them. Both you and Shinsou were free from school, which only meant one thing: date!

You always did something different: watching anime, making sculptures, painting, chatting, taking walks... one time you even tried to crochet, but he made a mess and got so grumpy that you decided to drop that activity.

That Saturday, you two decided to go at the cat shelter to do some volunteering. It was a really unusual date, but you loved spending time with each other and a ton of purring furballs. Also, the happy, adoring expression on Shinsou's face was so endearing...

The owners of the shelter were extremely nice with you, and they adored how you spent your free time on "volunteering dates". Obviously they made you work a little, but then they let you play with the kitties as much as you wanted! Actually, they let you play until it was closing time... or else you would've never gone back home.

"Hey baby I'm done with Kai, we can go home." Shinsou called for you after leaving a 5-month-old kitten to sleep, but he got no response. He saw you sitting on a chair, your back was facing him. "Baby didn't you hear me? We got-" "Shh!" You suddenly interrupted him.

He raised an eyebrow and approached you, and he couldn't believe his eyes. The new refugee of the cat shelter, who refused even to approach the sweet owners, was cuddled up on your lap and peacefully asleep. "Would you look at that..." the tall teenager smiled, "seems like this little rascal finally chose someone to trust." He was overjoyed to see that furball finally open up.

"Too bad that this human is already busy with someone else~" He reached out to grab the kitten and put him back in his sleeping pillow, but you swatted his hands away. "You're not ruining this moment..!" You whisper-yelled to not disturb the sleepy little angel, "It took me the whole day to get to this point, now we're staying here." You stated, more assertive than ever.

Your boyfriend raised an eyebrow, clearly amused with your antics, "Oh really? Then it would be a shame if a sudden earthquake disrupted your peace~"

You didn't have time to ask him what he meant. A tingly feeling spread throughout your body, making you almost jump and throw away the poor kitten. "Shinsohohou!! Stahap ihihihihit!!" You did your best to keep your legs still and not wake the little furball, but at the same time you desperately tried to swat Shinsou's hands away from your sides.

"But I'm doing nothing, honey... it's just the earthquake." He mused, close enough to your ear to make it tickle, and then blew a raspberry on your neck for good measure. He had to admit, he was a little surprised by how much you were resisting the impulse to squirm away. In other circumstances, you would've already jumped away and hidden somewhere, maybe curled up in a ball.

"Wow, not so squirmy now that you have the little rascal on your lap, huh?" He asked as his fingers played with both sides of your ribcage as if it was a piano, "I think we should name him Giggles... a fitting name related to a wonderful memory like this one..." He thought out loud with the clear intent to tease.

However, the fun had to come to an end. The owners were closing up and you two had to go back to school. He chuckled evilly and without wasting time, he drilled softly under your arms. This time, you couldn't hold back the squeal, which woke up the cat.

"Ah... you're finally awake, Giggles. Did you have a nice rest on my girlfriend's lap?" The violet-haired guy slowly approached the cat, "Now it's time to go to your actual bed, though. But we'll be back soon, alright?" He picked up the little one and laid him on his sleeping pillow and waited for him to fall asleep, then he looked at you and helped you up.

"Come on, say goodbye to giggles and get ready to go, or else I'll let you alone in Aizawa's clutches if we arrive late to UA." He told you with a smug grin on his face. You quickly got ready, not wanting to be scolded by the strict teacher, said goodbye to the owners and got on your way with your boyfriend.

"So... did you have fun on this date, Giggles 2?" Shinsou asked, laughing at how red your face turned, which made you smack his arm in utter embarrassment.

"Shut up..."

[cryptidsurveys]

Saturday, November 9th, 2024.

Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? If I absolutely had to choose, then I would probably go with dark chocolate, but I enjoy them all.

Do you get Easter eggs at Easter? Sometimes chocolate ones. I haven't had an actual Easter egg since I was a child.

Would you prefer a pet rat, mouse, snake, lizard or spider? Realistically, none of the above. I already have cats, and I would be afraid of something happening either to them or the other critter. But again, if I had to choose, then maybe a lizard.

Do you like carrot cake? Yesss. One of my favorite types of cakes.

If you were in a more medieval time period, would you prefer to excel in might, magic, or finesse? Magic.

What is one recipe that you would like to learn how to make? (Can be anything from breakfast to dessert.) Pecan pie. Natasha requested one for my next animal shelter baking contribution. I don't think any of the recipe books I picked up in that giant donation pile have a pecan pie recipe, though, so I will have to look one up.

Is there any specific reason why you prefer to take a shower in the morning or night? In general, I prefer to take them in the mornings because I wake up feeling kind of gross, but I also shower after getting home from the shelter (because then I feel extra gross).

What is your favorite type of muffin? It's so hard to choose… Double chocolate chip, banana nut, cranberry orange…

What is the last expensive item you bought? A carpet cleaner. My mom and I split the expense.

Would you rather be a successful writer or artist? Artist.

Would you rather have a cottage on the beach or in a forest? Forest.

Who’s the last person you talked to about sex? Liv and Riley. It was more about growing up traumatized/unsupported and how that impact carried over into adulthood.

Where is the biggest scar on your body? Inside of my left forearm.

Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs? No. I have empathy for people struggling with addiction, but I wouldn't date anyone still in the midst of one.

Do you know anyone who drinks a lot? Possibly.

Do you have any facial piercings? Snakebites.

What were you afraid of the most when you were a kid? Public speaking, heights, spiders, talking to anyone I didn't know well.

Is your hair long enough to put in a ponytail? No.

Last time you were attacked by an animal? A couple of weeks ago. I was petting Millie (a kitty at the shelter) and turned to talk to River, and Millie thought that was the perfect opportunity to latch onto my arm. She's a sweetheart, but anxiety and overstimulation overtake her from time to time.

If you need to ask a question in class do you raise your hand? Rarely.

How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)? I've never been engaged.

Is the United States really the best country in the world? I don't think it's the best country in the world, but I definitely don't think it's the worst either.

Have you ever gotten so dehydrated that you passed out? No.

Are your eyes sensitive to sunlight? Not abnormally. Except when I have a migraine.

Would you ever change your whole appearance? Probably not.

Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing? I'm not in a relationship. I've taken kissing photos with past partners, though.

What is a comfort show of yours? Belief Hole, Red Web, Lights Out Library, Tasting History, The Histocrat, Space Matters, etc. Gotta cut the list off at some point because I watch way too much YouTube.

Do you think we were put on this earth for a reason? Maybe there is some grand cosmic reason - not just for "us," but for everything - but who knows. I go back and forth with what I think. Either way, existing at all is such a weird thing.

Animal Crossing, yay or nay? I'd probably enjoy it if I had enough patience and dedication. Same with games like Stardew Valley. They sound fun and relaxing, but I just know I could never commit myself to them.

Did you ever have a MySpace? Yeah.

Do you have a YouTube channel? If no, would you create one? If yes what’s your content? I have an account, but I don't post anything to it.

Do you watch anime? I have, but not in recent years.

Do you like TikTok? I don't use it. I do watch YouTube shorts, though. I guess those are kind of the same concept…?

Do you ever miss Vine? Again, I never really used it.

Would you ever have a pet rat? No. I think rats are cute, but I already went into this above.

Do you think dreams mean anything? There might be some underlying primal symbolism going on that I don't understand. But aside from really bizarre dreams that don't seem to link up to anything in my waking life, most of my dream themes have to do with past/current experiences and worries. Like animal shelter anxiety dreams. I have those the same way some people have school anxiety dreams (and I still have those, too - even though I haven't been in school for well over a decade).

What was the last topic you read about? I've been reading A Short History Of The World on my lunchbreaks, but to be honest, I'm just sort of mindlessly skimming it while I eat. I'm not really retaining much of the information.

What’s the best amusement park ride you’ve ever been on? Roller coasters.

Would you know how to read a house blueprint? Some of it might be obvious or make sense to me, but overall, not really.

What shirt do you wear the most? Animal shelter shirts.

Have you ever used Duolingo to learn another language? No.

Do you remember much from high school? Yeah. The dates are all mixed up now, but the main memories are still more or less intact.

What’s your favorite fruit to snack on? I don't normally snack on fruit by itself. Just grapes for packed lunches. Otherwise, I usually eat it in oatmeal or yogurt, but I enjoy mango, blueberries, bananas, strawberries, raspberries, etc.

Has anyone ever come out to you? Like as a first-time big reveal type of thing? I don't think so.

What was the last album you listened to in full? Precession by Fifty Dollar Dynasty.

Would you prefer cupcakes or a big cake for your birthday? Either would be fine. I don't have a strong preference for one over the other.

How many jobs do you have on your resume? I don't have a resume.

What in your opinion is the best love song ever written? I don't have an opinion.

Pro-life/Pro-choice? Pro-choice.

Was your mother married when she had you? Yeah.

Who is the person you dislike the most? Probably my sibling. Up until recently, I would have said it doesn't matter because they don't influence my life anymore, but…ugh.

What’s your favourite type of cookie? I recently bought some french toast cookies and those are bomb. As for a true favorite, though, idk. You're talking to someone who just loves desserts/treats in general. I'm not picky.

Do you have a pair of Beat headphones? No.

Are any of your electronics not working properly at the moment? None that I currently use.

Are you excited to pick out your wedding dress one day? N/a.

What’s a food that you like every once in awhile but not often? Thanksgiving dinner, meatloaf, steak, etc.

Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? Of course it depends on who's offering, but usually, yeah.

Do you carry a bottle of water wherever you go? Yeah.

Are you afraid that one day you might get cancer? It's not something I really think about.

What age do you look forward to reaching? There isn't one.

What exercise do you hate the most? Idk.

What do you do at a party? I guess it would depend on the type of party.

What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen? Requiem For A Dream bothered me for reasons I don't feel like getting into here.

What’s something people don’t worry about but really should? I know this sounds bad, but I just don't really care.

What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis? None.

If magic was real, what spell would you try to learn first? Maybe something simple like reheating my coffee.

What’s the hardest you’ve ever worked? I'm kind of used to it now, but some days at the animal shelter can be pretty tiring.

If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose? Maybe somewhere like Machu Pichu, Sacsayhuaman, Puma Punku…Gobekli Tepe…heck, almost any ancient monument would interest me on some level.

What’s the most addicted to a game you’ve ever been? It's something of a three-way tie between Maple Story, Dance Dance Revolution, and Rock Band/Guitar Hero (I know that's two games, but it was one obsession).

What’s the coldest you’ve ever been? Maybe that one trip to the Mountain Park. I forget exactly when it was. A few years ago or so.

Do you eat food that’s passed its expiration date if it still smells and looks fine? Yeah.

What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? I've technically tried rock climbing, but I would love to do more of it.

[living-d3ad-gh0ul]

Monday 7th October 2024, 2:17am

Hey E.. 

I know it’s been a while since I last wrote to you.. and for that I am so sorry. I’ve just… well I’m not going to lie to you, I’ve been going through a really hard time mentally. A lot has happened in a short period of time. I’ve just been really struggling to talk to anyone. Hence why I haven’t wrote to you in a while. I really hope you’re doing okay and you can forgive me for it being so long since I last wrote to you. I really am so sorry.

I want to start this off by talking about you though. I re-read your last post (and the other ones you’ve wrote me) quite a few times. I’m so glad that your specialist has given you the all clear. You’ve no idea how happy I was to read that. I really hope that you’ve been doing well with all that and continuing to recover, even if it’s been slow, it’s still progress. And you are doing amazingly, you always have done through any tough battles you’ve had. I really hope you’ve been getting the physio that you need to help the stiffness/pain you’ve been having, I hope that’s been going well too. I also hope you’ve managed to kinda fix your sleep too. I know you’d been struggling with that. 

I also hope you got a nice new coat. I really wish I could see it. I actually got a new coat too recently. It’s long and black and has like a faux fur trim around the collar and cuffs, it’s cool and will keep me warm in the winter but also still goth enough. I hope the new keyboard is treating you well too. I should probably look at getting a new keyboard myself, but any ones I see are so expensive. I’m really particular about the keys and how it looks lmao. It has to be a mechanical keyboard too, I just love the sound of them. 

London was good. I had a great time. My surprise was that my best friends got me VIP tickets for the Stranger Things play in the West End. It was.. honestly amazing. The visual effects and everything were mind blowing. The cast were phenomenal too, I honestly couldn’t have picked better people to play all the characters. They also bought me a really cool Hellfire Club loungefly bag too, which I adore. They’d known I wanted it as soon as I saw it, it had only just come out as well. But they all bought me it and I was really happy. After the show on the Saturday, we also went out for a night out. We had a blast and I actually met a guy from Perth at the club we were at! He’d come out on a night out himself, so we were all like “well just join us if you like!” Because we didn’t want him to be hanging around himself haha. So we all made a new friend for the night, he was pretty cool. He’d told us he was just here on a spontaneous trip and he’d be going back to Australia the week or two after, he wasn’t sure yet. All my mates kept telling me he fancied me and I was just like lol no he doesn’t, he’s just being friendly because he kept chatting to me and bought me a couple drinks. Turns out, they were right lmfao. He apparently only asked me for my number at the end of the night and didn’t ask anyone else. He’s text me a couple times since then but uh.. the last time he did he was a little too.. forward shall we say, that’s what confirmed to me that my friends were right. I also just told him what my friends were saying and he was like “oh yeah no I definitely liked you”.. but then he was trying to like.. idk how to word it, just being very sexual with me suddenly? It ended up getting a tad creepy and made me uncomfortable and I basically told him I wasn’t interested. We haven’t spoke since lol. So… that was weird. I was just happy to make a new friend lmao I didn’t want any of that. But in general, London was cool, I really enjoyed it and had a good time. I’ll put some pictures of everything on this post so you can see it. 

Since then though.. shits just.. kinda fallen apart. My best friend and I aren’t really talking anymore unfortunately. She just.. got a little jealous of me and reacted in a way I had never seen her before. It really upset me and she said some really hurtful things to me. We ended up having to take a few days space from each other, because of what she said to me. And even then, she wouldn’t give me that space. She kept messaging me things that were really guilt trippy and emotionally manipulative and I really didn’t like it. It was a side of her I hadn’t seen before at all. She started being really mean and horrible to me for absolutely no reason at all. Eventually, she did give me the space I needed. We’ve started talking again now but.. I don’t think it’s going to ever be the same. It can’t be after what she said and did. She knows she’s going to have to rebuild my trust and stuff again. And I’ve set clear boundaries now. Because the friendship was getting really unhealthy and co-dependent and I really couldn’t cope with it any more. It’s still quite upsetting, considering everything that happened and why it happened. 

Some other stuff has been going on too, but I really don’t want to go into detail about it, because I just really don’t want to talk to anyone about it. It’s too hard and it’s too upsetting. All I’ll say is that someone else really hurt me too at the same time this was all going on with my best friend. They’ve started reminding me of someone from my past who caused me a lot of trauma. And I really don’t know how to handle it. It’s tough and it’s been triggering me to hell, in all honesty. It’s been bringing back a lot of panic attacks and PTSD and such for me. I’m just really mentally fragile right now from everything that’s been going on. 

There’s no updates on Gran really. Other than her chemo is done and her tumour marker levels were at 5000, when they were supposed to be at 30.. so.. that’s REALLY bad. But they couldn’t find anything new on her scans and stuff when they last had an appointment with her. They did tell her she wouldn’t be getting any more chemo however, because “it would only give her a couple more months”.. which I think was a really shitty way of them telling us her prognosis in all honesty. We’re still just hoping and waiting though, that something can be done and we can move forward with some more treatment or something. At the moment, we’re just kinda in limbo. She has to have another appointment with her specialist I think at the end of this month? And another scan and some blood tests before that. So… we’re back to just.. waiting. 

I was also sick this past 2 weeks. I’ve had a really bad chest infection and I was off work for the last week too. I felt like absolute shit, in all honesty. But the cough is finally lifting and I’m hoping to be back at work on Wednesday. I’m off tomorrow (Monday, I’m writing this at like 2am so.. it’s still Sunday to me lol) and Tuesday. The day is because.. well it’s my dad’s birthday. 8th October. He’d have been 62. It’s going to be a tough day. I was supposed to have plans with a friend to try and distract me and take my mind off things but.. unfortunately they have let me down. And it couldn’t have happened at a worse time, I think. It sucks when you really care for someone and then they go and do something like that to you and make you feel like you’re absolutely nothing to them. Like you don’t matter at all and like everyone else is more important than you. 

I’ve been struggling a lot with that recently. Feeling insignificant and unimportant and like I’m not good enough. I just don’t get it. Why does everyone I care about or love leave me? Why are they always snatched away from me or walk out the door, sometimes without so much as a goodbye? It hurts so bad. I really honestly feel so alone right now. I don’t feel like I have many people who care about me or want to make me a priority or who want to even listen. I’m really not sure how much more loss and heartache I can take, in all honesty. I just.. really feel like sometimes no one would miss me if I weren’t around. And that is a hard thought to process in itself. 

I’m so sorry that most of this has been negative and heavy. I’m just.. not having a great time at all right now. I’m trying my best to stay positive and hope for better days soon and hope that things will resolve themselves and I can pick myself up and move on again. But I’m just.. still trying to process everything. Still just going through all the emotions that are coming to me and dealing with them. It’s hard when things are triggering past things too. Because it makes me feel like I’m back there. Like I’m reliving it all again. And I wish I wasn’t. 

I really hope you’re doing much better than I am. I really am so sorry it’s taken me so long to write back to you and I really do apologise that I don’t have much good news for you here. I’m mentally trying to prepare myself as best as I can for dad’s birthday tomorrow. I just know it’s going to be tough. I’m just hoping I can cope. 

I really hope to hear from you soon. I’ve missed your “letters”. I’ve missed writing them to you too. I hope Chonky is doing well too, please give her pets from me and tell her I said that she’s a good girl. 

Speak soon, E. I really hope you’re doing well. I really hope to have some good news for you soon. 

N x

“I’m falling apart over a memory.. and the weight in my heart is getting too heavy” 

P.S all the pics are from my London trip, apart from the last one.. I just wanted to show you my new hair I got done a few weeks ago. It’s red AND black now. Something different, but I think it’s cool as fuck. I think I might keep it like this for a bit.