#(Sorry Everyone . Im Not Writing The S c r i p t)

[mxtsuriluv]

kidnapping, alcohol, cursing, mentally abusive, age gap, sexual assault, assault/jerks, trauma, drama, hatred, enemies to lovers, mommy issues, daddy issues, suicide, self harming, drug abuse , written in lower case and so much more for those topics that are sensitive such as sa, suicide, etc i'll put a warning beforehand ! < 3

3 0  D A Y S T A N G L E D

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p l a y l i s t

  kohana lam - our memories in my pocket ft. riu domura

kohana lam - matching memories

.... t o  b e  c o n t i n u e

"One | c a n d o r

"sorry?"

everyone in the class exclaimed to the news their teacher relied on them. mr.aizawa sigh and was dumbfounded by his students reaction, i mean he at least expected his students to at least be happy? not to gave him a dull reaction. isn't this a good way for them to interact with eachother and get to know one another better so why are they acting like its the end of the world?

"well you guys don't look happy about it" mr.aizawa said as the students quickly shook their heads.

"were overjoy sensei! but why now? is there a sole purpose for this task?" kirishima asked as the others agreed to it.

"midnight though this was a good idea for you guys, think about it as taking a little break. im not sure why she suggested it now, nedless to say kids she's the one that choose your partner for this project. you guys are to stay with your partner for 30 days and get to know eachother better, matter of fact socialize with them more, and this would count as a big grade in your finals. anyone who objects would fail my class, i'm sure none of you have any problem with it"

"yes, mr.aizawa" everyone said.

satisfied with the answer, mr.aizawa in the chalkboard wrote down his students names and who will they be partner up with.

y/n was looking for her name and it seemed that mr.aizawa wrote their names based on the rows they were seated in. row a contained hagakure who got paired up with ojiro, then was bakugou who got paired up with ...yaoyorozu?, anyways next in line was midoryia who got paired up with uraraka

anddd finallyyy..... y/n with -

there's no way. some students were happy with who their partner was for this assignment and some were not. in this case y/n was not, like how could she? when her partner doesn't even like her and can't stand being in the same room as her!?

"oh! y/n is with..... todoroki!" mina exclaimed excited but worried at the same time.

upon hearing that the whole classroom stood silence. they all know that todoroki and yagi don't exactly get along, at least that's what it seems like.

"is there any way we can change our partners..." y/n said in a whisper but due to the quietness mr.Aizawa was able to hear it.

"you must stay with the partner you were assigned to"

and with that being said, the bell rang making everyone go towards their partner for the assigment, y/n made her way towards yaoyorozu and whisper to her.

"please switch partners with me yaomomo" y/n pleaded

"but you heard mr.aizawa.."

"he doesn't have to know, you and todoroki have more chemistry together so i don't see the big deal"

"c,chemistry?" yaoyorozu said slightly confused but flatter a little.

"oi, brat i don't like my partner as well but i'm sucking it up. it's not the end of the world, deal with it"

bakugou said as he grab the girl and drag her towards todoroki throwing her at him.

"if i find out you hurt her in any way, i'll destroy that angelic face of yours" bakugou said as he glared at him and then left, going towards yaoyorozu.

"forgot to mention, by the end of the project you guys need to write a summary about it and i want details in it, class dismissed"

todoroki quickly cleared his throat making y/n pulled away from him. both of them stood there awkwardly.

"uh, so what do you wanna do first?" y/n said as she look up to him meeting his stoic face and out of habit she started scratching herself on her neck, she usually does it when she's nervous.

"screw you" todoroki said and y/n stood there dumbfounded as he passed right through her leaving her alone for a moment.

'did he?... no. he did not just— ima kill that son of a bitch!'

and with that y/n started running after him. "hey! jackass!" y/n yelled making todoroki turned around with a sigh of annoyance only to be greeted with snow right onto his face. y/n had use her quirk against him.

"it's been two years todoroki, two damn years of this whole rivalries thing. i don't know why you despite me that much but please just go through this like a mature person so we can get the damn grade"

y/n said sternly as she look into the boys eyes, she wanted to have atleast a reaction out of him, but at the end she got nothing, she only got the same stoic dull face of his.

on the other hand todoroki was about to use his quirk against the girl and freeze her where she's standing and leave the building but she was right. the whole project thing was a grade at the end of the day and they needed to at least pretend they were getting a lot for some time.

he quickly glanced at the girl, golden hour had just set in illuminating the hallways with orange and yellowish tinges, and as well her. her skin look so soft under the hues of the light. todoroki suck in a breath, his classmate was attractive sure but shoto can't bring himself to accept the girl, for fuck sakes she's all might child.

and for that sole reason he doesn't want to be around the girl. all might is the whole reason his father created him in the first place, his whole existence he has been taught to become greater than him and beat him, so when he found out all might had a daughter he was determine to become greater than her and beat her at everything.

as second passed by, y/n grew irritated. she felt like she was making a full of herself and she didn't like that not one bit, biting the inside of her mouth she sigh.

"well each have a turn, one minute to say what we think about each other, what we feel towards one another, and then we'll put our differences aside and get this over with, deal?"

todoroki listened to the girl and slowly nodded as he saw y/n signaling him to go first.

"don't take this very personal but your not the brightest person out there. for someone who thinks so high of themselves i expected more from you yagi. those countless matches were we needed to compete, it seemed like you were always going so easy on me, seems like pithiness towards me. that's what i hate so much about you, remember our first encounter? heck you pushed me out of your way and didn't even apologize or anything you look back and stare at me for a second and walked away like if i was someone that was just wasting your time, like if i was a low life that couldn't, can't be compare to your level. i can't stand being in the same room as you... literally talking with you right now is making me want to puke, i would rather be alone in a room with mineta instead of being stuck here with you. you annoy me, every single word that comes out of you makes my head hurt and i wanna shove it right back at your mouth just to get you to shut up"

y/n had to put a finger on his mouth in order to shut him up, she back away and look slightly hurt.

"plus your all might's child and i'm endevours, our fathers have history of not liking one another it was bound to happened that we won't as well"

y/n just nodded towards him and slightly smile.

"haha did you had to be that honest with me? todoroki our first encounter was just a misunderstanding, i wasn't staring at you, i was staring behind you which so happened to be bakugou, he pissed me off that day. whatever i'm not here to explain myself."

and with a deep breath y/n took a look of the boy.

"let me prove you wrong during these 30 days ... just put up with my behavior for 30 days and if by the end of it you still don't like me we'll never talk to one another again or even acknowledge the other..deal?"

shoto slightly frowned to the girl but it wasn't really a bad deal so he agreed to it.

"you didn't got to say your part about how you feel about me"

"i have nothing to say to you todoroki, now let's pretend that we're the bested friends"

a groan left the boys mouth as he started following the girl back to the dorms. this project sure was going to impact their life's.

[hey-its-cweepy]

A/N: ... Okay so this was going to be a drawing, but on top of the fact that its night time rn- drawing + coloring all the panels is kinda a pain in the butt and my hand still sorta hurts (EVOLNATION OC WILL COME OUT TOMORROW I SWEAR- I JUST NEED TO DRAW THEM-)

IM NOT THE BEST AT WRITING SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF ANYTHING OOC-

Mellow belongs to @fumikomiyasaki! Also Im sorry if Im getting annoying with pinging and stuff... This is getting long-

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Momo ran through the halls after being scared over and over after getting a little lost during the halloween event. Tears ran down her face as she just finished scrambling out of the previous location, being scared from the costumed students.

Once she was far enough, she sat down on the ground with her knees to her chest as she quietly sobbed to herself.

"... Dallas was right, Im so pathetic..." She sniffled to herself "... I c-cant do this... M-Maybe I should just head back to the dorm a-and pretend I was s-sick or s-something..."

Mellow seems to have been passing by after fulfilling another task, about to return to his respective dorm before hearing her quiet cries as he steps in, concerned.

"M-Momo? A-Are you alright?... Did... Something happen?..."

Momo flinches a bit in surprise, quickly trying to wipe away her tears as she looks up at him, trying to not make it obvious she was crying but it was too late.

"M-Mellow! U-Um... I-Its nothing, I swear! I'm... I'm just a little t-tired b-but Im fine" Momo has always been a terrible liar...

Mellow seems to only grow more concerned as he hesitantly sits next to her, his cheeks having a small hint of blush to them.

"Momo, i-if something's wrong, p-please tell me... I w-want to help you..."

"I-I... I..." Momo sighed as she looked away from Mellow and down at the ground, about to start crying again "... Im just b-being a baby... Everyone's just d-dressed in costumes b-but... I dont kn-know its just-... So s-scary..." Momo curls up a bit more with a sniffle.

"H-Hey, you're n-not a "b-baby" for being s-scared... I can s-stay here with y-you for a bit to help you c-calm down if you w-want..."

Momo looks back up at him, a bit caught off guard by the offer "S-Stay here? B-But... But wh-what about your d-dorm?..."

"Im... Im sure they can h-handle a few m-minutes without me... B-Besides... I want to m-make sure you're alright.."

Momo still seems a little surprised by the response as she uncurls herself a bit. "Th... Th-Thank you... M-Mellow..."

She hesitantly scooted a bit closer to him, one of her fingers nervously reaching out to hold his hand, her face a bit red from both crying and the fact that she's touching his hand. Mellow's soft blush becomes more evident as he slowly yet gently holds one of her hands.

"D-Dont w-worry about it... I w-want you to b-be okay..."

Momo appreciated his company but seems very hesitant to do anything more than hand holding... Mellow doesn't really mind as he's also too nervous to advance any further than hand holding.

As time went on, Momo seemed to have mostly calmed down as she stands up despite being a little shaky.

"Th-Thank you, r-really... B-But... I... I th-think I... H-Have to go back..." Momo didnt really want to go back, but she knew she had to if she wanted to go back to her dorm.

"I-I'll... I'll go with y-you..." Mellow gently squeezed her hand as he stood up with her, Momo's face blushed more "... Th-Thank you s-so m-much Mellow... I-I... I r-really a-apreciate th-this..."

"You r-really dont n-need to thank me for th-this... L-Let's go... T-Together..."

Momo and Mellow continued to hold hands as they made their way around the school, with Mellow comforting Momo anytime a student scared her (intentionally or not)

[bakusdumptruck]

Bakusquad Crack Post Pt.2

Hello you beautiful bitches 😌 hope you had a good day today! I was stuck on what I was going to write and decided to make a side story on what happened with the LoV in the first part! So now i’ll give you high bakusquad ft. The LoV🤩

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Pairing: Aged up Bakusquad x gn!Y/n x LoV 

Warnings: Use of marijuana, swearing, injuries, slight manga spoilers

Summary: Bakusquad gets kidnapped by the Lov, but it turns out better than expected.  

✨QUICK RECAP ✨

You and the Bakusquad were v e r y faded chilling on a hill watching the stars 

A nomu pops out of no where and you all start attacking, but completely miss

The nomu starts chasing you and ends up knocking everyone out 

OKAY NOW LETS GET IT 😈

So... you got kidnapped by the infamous League of Villains

B💥: *waking up* “Fucking shit what hap- oh shit hey crusty 😏 never thought i’d be here again.”

ST(Shiggy)🧴: “Never thought you’d be this easy to catch you little bitch”

B💥: “WHO YOU CALLIN A LITTLE BITCH YOU FLAKEY FU-”

Y/n🥵: *evil/scary ass voice* “Bakugou if you don’t shut the fuck up right now i’ll let his flakey ass disintegrate you. You’re beING TOO FUCKING LOUD 😃🔪”

B💥: “uh... where’d you get that knife from :D”

K💪🏼: “Hey guys, sorry to ruin your moment but shouldn’t we be concerned that we got kidnapped.”

M💅🏽: “I agree... We literally got kidnapped by the people who want to kill us.”

S🕷: “Oh shit, that’s who they are? No wonder they looked so familiar.”

All: 👁👄👁

ST🧴: “Ya’ll are dumber than I expected... anyway we want you guys to join us. You all have powerful quirks, especially you Baku-”

B💥: “YAWWNNNN. No thank you. I already said no.”

ST🧴: “Did you just s a y the word yawn 🙃 *scratching neck* You’re pissing me off. I’ll just kill you then.”

S🕷: “Hold on mr.saltine, before you kill bakubro can we smoke our last joint? This weed was expensive and I AM NOT letting it go to waste. Plus I have even more and it needs to be gone before I die.” 

M💅🏽: “Sero please tell me you didn’t bring your stoner pack.”

S🕷: *pulls out his so called “Seros Super Stoner Pack”*

Shiggy’s starting to regret his life choices.

All of a sudden Dabi pops out of no where

DB🔥: “Is that weed? I smell weed. Where is it.”

 Sero had the most amazing idea, but not for them to escape no, he has had the most amazing idea to make sure he finishes his weed.

S🕷: “...Wanna smoke with us 👀 I already rolled a joint and I can roll at least 4 more. Don’t wanna let it all go to waste 😃”

DB🔥: “Let them out of the cuffs. I need to smoke.”

At this point Shigaraki is over everything and decides to smoke to distract himself from the stupidity.

So, ya know, Sero does his thing and hands yall the other papers to roll up

*30 minutes and 5 joints later...*

DB🔥: “NO BUT LIKE ENDEAVOR IS A FUCKING B I T C H. HE CAN KISS MY BURNT ASS.”

 This smoke session somehow turned into a therapy session. 

DB🔥: “I KNOW HE’S MY DAD BUT HOLY SHIT. FUCKER PUSHED ME INTO FAKING MY OWN FUCKING DEATH AND NOW HERE I AM. IM BURNT, MUSTY, AND STUCK WITH THIS CRUSTY ASS BITCH.”

Y/n🥵: *patting his back* “There there, let it out... uhuh just like that”

DB🔥: “I CAN’T EVEN FUCKING CRY. MY TEAR DUCTS ARE BURNT AND I FEEL DUMB AS FUCK CRYING WITH NO TEARS. I LOOK FUCKING CONSTIPATED.”

ST🧴: “Bitch please, you look constipated all the time.”

DB🔥: “Square the fuck up. 😃 Right now.”

D⚡️: “So... we just gon ignore the fact that he’s Endeavors “dead” son?”

Eventually Dabi lets everything off of his chest and goes off pouting in your arms

To lighten up the mood Sero connects his phone to his speaker and picks whatever song came up first 

It was WAP by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion.

Denki was the first one to get up and starts to rap the first verse. He knew it word for word.

Sero joined in after but also started dancing

Mans was MOVING them hips. Them shits were swaying like it was nobody’s business 💅🏽

WAIT SO HEAR ME OUT,  I feel like Bakugou would be a completely different person when he’s high

Yeah he’s still angry and shit but he’d be sooooo fucking funny

 This bitch would get up all of a sudden and be like 

B💥: “YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG FUCKER. THIS IS HOW YOU FUCKING MOVE”

Then he starts aggressively twerking anyway he can 😭

He’s twerking on the wall, on the floor, ON PEOPLE  

You all eventually form a circle around him and start hyping him up

LMAOO ITS LIKE THAT DANCE CIRCLE AT SCHOOL DANCES AND EVERYONE HAS THEIR PHONE OUT

Y/n🥵: “BEST FRIEND SHOW EM YOUR MOVES”

K:💪🏼: “GO, OUUU YUH GET IT I GUESS 💅🏽... OKAY IM NEXT BEST FRIEND. GET THE CAMERA 🤩”

KIRI FUCKING PUSHES HIM OUT 

K💪🏼: “dougie 🤪 hype me up 😤🥵”

He does it REALLY bad, but that’s not gonna stop the hype 

ST🧴: “AHAHAHA WHY HE MOVIN LIKE THAT. MANS STIFF AS FUCK”

M💅🏽: “Like you can do any better than that 😗”

ST🧴: “Baby please, watch this”

Shiggy starts voguing... and he’s really fucking good. 

All: “💀”

DB🔥: “HOLY SHIT THIS IS FUCKING GOLD . YO GUYS GET THE FUCK OUT YOUR ROOMS. Hehe he’s gonna regret doing this. ”

The rest of the LoV members come out and are shocked 

They don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or be disgusted 

TG🔪: “Dabi... is he okay, wait a minute... wHEN DID THEY GET HERE”

SP🐊: “...I’m going back to my room.”

TW👺: “OUU YUH SHIGGY. GET IT BITCH- this is so fucking disgusting.”

Mr.Compress and Kurogiri don’t even bother to see whats happening

Once the most iconic part of the song pops up YOU AND MINA GO OFF.

M💅🏽: “OUT OF THE WAY BITCHES. ITS THE BADDIES TURN.”

Holy fuck can y/n and Mina marry me already. p l e a s e.

Yall hitting every beat, every move, THE ATTITUDE. Yes. A+. 1000/10

Everyone was screaming their asses off and jumping around

After WAP, Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low played

DB🔥: “OHHH SHIT ITS MY TIME WHORES”

Dabi pulls out a guitar and amp out of thin air and plays his fucking heart out.

Bakugou finds drums and plays like theres no tomorrow

Sero finds a bass and joins in 

Y/n🥵: “What the fuck 😃 why is this so good 😃”

The rest of you starts head banging and singing along

K💪🏼: “TAKE A BREATH DONT IT SOUND SO EASY, NEVER HAD A DOUBT NOW IM GOING CRAZY WATCHING FROM THE FLOOR”

M💅🏽: “waYMENT- I THOUGHT HE COULDN’T SING. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM 😳”

Denki adds harmony to the next part

K💪🏼D⚡️: “TAKE A BREATH AND LET THE REST COME EASY, NEVER SETTLE DOWN CAUSE THE CASH FLOW LEAVES ME. ALWAYS, WANTING MORE”

Y/n🥵: “DENKI YOU TOO??? I’m going to pass away. This is too muCH. I’M GOING TO SIMP PLEASE.”

Oop, the best part’s coming up... who’s singing next?👀

DB🔥: “IT WAS NEVER A PHASE MOM. ITS A LIFE STYLE- CAUSE I GOT YOUR PICTURE IM COMING WITH YOU DEAR MARIA COUNT ME IN THERES A STORY AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS BOTTLE AND IM THE PEN.”

That shit was chefs fucking kiss. Dabi has the perfect voice for this song.

At this point you, Mina, and Shiggy were on the floor with tears streaming down your faces.

When yall thought it couldn’t get any better, Bakugou and Sero start harmonizing for the last part 💅🏽

B💥S🕷: MAKE IT COUNt WHEN IM THE ONE WHOS SELLING YOU OUT CAUSE IT FEELS LIKE STEALING HEARTS CALLING YOUR NAME FROM THE CROWD”

Dead. You flat lined. Your limit has been passed and now you’re a hard core simp. 

Mina was so glad she started recording because there definitely won’t be another opportunity.  

Y/n🥵: “Guys... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. HOW CAN YOU PULL INSTRUMENTS OUT OF YOUR ASSES AND PLAY PERFECTLY. KIRI WHERE THE HELL DID THE VOICE COME FROM.”

The boys were sweating and out of breath. They just did a whole performance in the hide out with zero practice.

They stared at each other at the end for a little bit and excitedly hyped themselves up. 

Dabi spoke about starting a band forgetting about his occupation and why the bakusquad was there in the first place

Honestly this moment was precious. The villains and aspiring hero’s were getting along because of the weed in their system. This just proves how weed can solve all your problems 💅🏽

*knock knock* “Doordash delivery”

ST🧴: “Oh, when did you guys order food?”

S🕷: “We didn’t order food...”

ST🧴: “... FUCKING SHIT NOT AGA-”

The pro hero’s busted in 🤩

DB🔥: “KUROGIRIIII. GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.”

And just like the the LoV escaped

M💅🏽: “Ya kno what, I honestly forgot where we were.”

B💥: “Same.”

K💪🏼: “We were having too much fun...”

D⚡️: “Ughhh why’d they come so early 😫 we were boutta start a band 🥺”

S🕷: “Wait... why were we here again??”

Y/n🥵: “Sero...baby, maybe you should lay off the weed for a bit 💀”

Aizawa walked in and shot his scarf out to all of you. He made sure to make them uncomfortably tight and pulled you guys right to him.

A🐱: 👺👹*gremlin noises*👺👹

Lol you guys are fucked. 

HELLOOOOO I hope you guys enjoyed this story of what went on when the squad got kidnapped!! Honestly my account is gonna have ALOT of bakusquad scenarios since I literally love all of them so much. Not a day goes by where I’m not thinking about hanging out with them 😭 Credits to jazzmonster for the gif 😌 once I saw it I knew I had to use it. Anywayy thank you all so much for the support :’-) I didn’t think people would actually like the stuff I write since its all over the place 😫 Hope you have a good rest of your day/night 🖤

[hanadolphieron]

HOGWARTS AU~

a/n- i do not support jk rowling. this is your (my beautiful, show-stopping, magnificent followers’) christmas gift and i hope she’s annoyed by the fact that a liberal pansexual and a lesbian fanfiction writer wrote a giant post centered around a universe she created ;)

another a/n- i hope all of my oomfies enjoy this, i spent an entire month writing it because i love you guys so much! you have made my year so much better!!!!!!!! big heart!

another another a/b- i started writing for ateez after i finished this, so that’s why they’re not on there. i would put them in, however i have written fifty-four of these and am a wee bit drained :)

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GRYFFINDOR~

colors; scarlet and gold

traits; bravery, daring, nerve, chivalry

element; fire

symbol; the lion

head of house; chungha

members; nayeon, chaeyoung, jisoo, yeji, ryujin, yuna, mia, sakura, yujin,  heejin, chaewon, chungha, winter, somi

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HUFFLEPUFF~

colors; yellow and black

traits; hard work, dedication, loyalty, patience, fair play

element; earth

symbol; the badger

head of house; haseul

members; sana, dahyun, rosé, lia, e:u, onda, chaeyeon, chaewon, nako, wonyoung, jinsoul, haseul, chuu, yeojin, giselle, ningning

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SLYTHERIN~

colors; emerald and silver

traits; ambition, leadership, self-preservation, cunning, resourcefulness

element; water

symbol; serpent

head of house; eunbi

members; jeongyeon,  momo, jihyo, jennie, sihyeon, eunbi, yena, minju, yves, olivia hye

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RAVENCLAW~

colors; blue and bronze

traits; intelligence, curiosity, knowledge, creativity, wit

element; air

symbol; eagle

head of house; mina

members; mina, tzuyu, lisa,  chaeryeong, aisha, yiren, hyewon, hitomi, yuri, vivi, kim lip, hyunjin, choerry, karina

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PROFILES~

<im nayeon>

nayeon is a prefect, of course, she used to be the head of house but chungha succeeded her after nayeon decided to focus more on her studies

headcannon that nayeon and chungha are are lowkey besties

they don’t talk much, but they respect each other and always like to have nice chats about the school

but other than her leadership roles, nayeon is like the older sister of the gryffindor house

sort of has no idea what’s going on sometimes but tries her best because everyone asks her for advice

cries at graduation because she loves hogwarts so much

ends up working at the ministry of magic

she’s so perfect help🥺

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<yoo jeongyeon>

definitely has a hufflepuff s/o

i refuse to believe anything else

is everyone’s crush, ryujin follows in her footsteps

is the slytherin seeker, probably flusters the other seekers because she’s intimidating but so gorgeous and charismatic

sorry for projecting my love of jeongyeon but i had to

is excellent at potions and has taught the class at some point

really enjoys hogwarts and takes advantage of all the fun magic it has to offer

is always in the library finding mystery books to read

dark, gothic academia hhhhh

snuck in two kittens along with her owl because she didn’t want to choose

nobody noticed because everyone’s too scared to go into the slytherin common room

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<hirai momo>

famous for bringing a whole ass snake as a pet instead of you know, the legal pets like toads, owls, and cats

starts a dance team

except everyone’s mildly terrified to join because she looks really intimidating

when in reality the only bad thing she’s ever done is stealing sana’s cat because she wanted something to cuddle

and when sana took her cat momo dragged sana over inside to snuggle

as a first year she cried in front of her class one time for some reason that her brain has forgotten to protect her because she freaked the fck out

because she was afraid of tarnishing her scary slytherin reputation

now, she’ll have a good swig of butterbeer and wipe a tear away over how good it tastes (because finals)

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<minatazoki sana>

has most adorable cat, like seriously it’s almost as cute as her🥺

gets drunk on butterbeer constantly

it’s becoming a slight issue

but it’s hard for anyone to stop her, as she works part-time at the three broomsticks and will make you pay more taxes if you annoy her

acts like a slytherin sometimes

because she’s good at everything the slytherin’s do

but sana’s a true hufflepuff at heart, she’s always looking to make people smile

her pranks are always to create a good atmosphere, not to aggravate people

makes hand-made scarves for everyone at christmas

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<park jihyo>

thought she was a gryffindor her entire life

and then the sorting cat called out “slytherin” the second it touched her head

jihyo went 👁👄👁

but she ended up loving her house, and fit right in with her new friends

hates all the cats but they cling to her for spite

(she highkey actually adores them)

LOUD because she’s obsessed with quidditch

like seriously, obsessed, she will never shut up about the chudley cannons (i hope that’s their name) and will talk your ear off for hours just chatting about one game

sits in the library for peace and quiet, but sighs constantly and keeps getting glared at

couldn’t care less though, she needs deep breaths to sustain her sanity

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<myoui mina>

everyone loves her!

she’s one of those people you bring up in conversation just to compliment? because she’s so respectable and wholesome and nice and beautiful and perfect?

leads ravenclaw so well :(

will stay up all night helping younger kids with their classes or subjects that they’re wildly interested in

makes quizlets for everything, her account lags because so many people are using it at one time

goes into the forest at night and dances as a way to relieve stress (we love an aesthetic queen)

________________________

<kim dahyun>

gets into trouble so much 

will risk her education to make people laugh

everyone respects her for it, even the teachers, so she never has many consequences because everyone needs some laughter in their lives

a beater for hufflepuff we love to see it

painted her bat like a badger and calls it tommy

has fallen off her broom more than once because she gets really distracted

the only class she truly focuses on is transfiguration

she loves it for some weird reason and does extra lessons with professor mcgonagall

no one questions it though, because she’s kim dahyun

________________________

<son chaeyoung>

the one who comforts everyone in gryffindor

sometimes expectations to be brave and self-assured can be too much for her fellow house-mates, so chaeyoung takes the role of making them feel safe and helping them relax

the expert at caring for the cats

something about her makes them flock around her feet

they’re always swarming around her feet

one time she actually tripped over one them and broke her shin

but luckily, professor sprout (aka her best friend) helped her through it with some medicinal herbs and long conversations about plants

always wearing comfy clothes

wears a scarf in the dorms for some reason

________________________

<chou tzuyu>

has the prettiest owl to ever exist

and its eyes match up perfectly with hers

everyone has a headcannon that they’re actually twins 

which would entail that tzuyu was born a bird but somehow turned into a human

but no one really dwells on that

caught mina when she was dancing in the forest at night

but vowed never to tell anyone

and now mina invites her to come watch and dance herself

tzuyu actually drew her one time and mina just about melted of embarrassment and  pride and happiness because tzuyu? just drew a picture of her? and it makes her feel so cool and magical?

________________________

<kim jisoo>

empress cat (along with hyunjin and chaeyoung)

those three have the sweetest relationship, you can always find them cooing about the cats together (while holding the cats themselves)

has an obsession with the whomping willow

always sits next to it after she managed to tame it 

reads and does her studies there

is undisturbed and loves it

knows all the staircases for some reason, like has given them names and nobody knows how she’s memorized them all

but if you’re ever lost, jisoo will appear out of nowhere to help

________________________

<kim jennie>

somehow manages to make time for everything

spends most of her time in the library, but also excels at quidditch? and makes it to all of the practices? like jennie stop being so talented (but please don’t we love it)

everyone’s like what an ambitious slytherin smh

cast her patronus on the first try

and screamed because she had a snow leopard! and they’re so adorable!

probably started crying just being honest

intimidates everyone but is a huge softie

has a close-knit group of friends

reminds me of a wolf? for some reason

________________________

<park chaeyoung>

a master at quidditch!

plays chaser on the hufflepuff team and is the captain as well

along with those leader positions, chaeyoung is also prefect

basically, she loves to p r o t e c t

what a hufflepuff smh

laughs so much it’s worrying, you can always hear her giggling throughout the halls of hogwarts

brought a frog

does not regret it at all, she loves zucchini (the frog) with all her heart

keeps it in her jacket pocket

ribbiting noises erupt in the middle of class

________________________

<lalisa monoban>

a beater for gryffinor i mean what were you expecting

was the first person to join momo’s dance team

which scared even more people away (youth with you anyone?)

but lisa is still so sweet, always helping people out

smiles at every single person she passes

her cheeks hurt by the end of the day, partly because of what i just mentioned and partly because rose makes her laugh so much

chases all the cats around

they act tormented but when have cats ever been honest when they like something a human is doing for them

they need the exercise, rose feeds them too much

________________________

<hwang yeji>

looks like a slytherin because of her eyes

but is a true gryffindor at heart, always being brave and kind to her friends and standing up for everyone

almost all of her friends are in gryffindor :) except for lia, who is arguably the most chaotic but stops them from doing anything too dumb

and chaeryeong, who helps more with the excitement management

yeji is a chaser on the gryffindor quidditch team (we been knew) and scores so much the point keeper (?) loses count

definitely has a cat

who snuggles with her in the common room and everyone wants to cry over how cute they both are

everyone talks about how she looks like her cat ;0

is pretty popular, although she’s still so humble

________________________

<choi jisu>

gosh this ADORABLE HUFFLEPUFF

will tackle you if you wrong her, her friends, her plants, or steal her food

got lost on her first day and missed the whole day of classes

was so embarrassed and probably cried poor jisu

but haseul to the rescue! came and comforted her, we love a supportive hufflepuff family

daydreams all the time

professor sprout (is that her name i haven’t read these books in a while) is her best friend and she eats lunch with her sometimes🥺

all the teacher’s love her

except she’s pretty quiet in class, except for her maniacal laughing at chaeryeong sometimes

her and chae are The Best Friends TM

________________________

<shin ryujin>

everyone’s crush who are we kidding (fboi ryu)

a beater, always protects yeji and she loves it, always getting flustered over ryujin

even though ryu’s been doing it for years (however the winks she throws in yeji’s directions would make anyone falter)

the best in class at defense against the dark arts 

got her patronus, a black bear, within a few minutes after learning the lesson

and everyone was like 👀 but honestly not that surprised, because come on it’s shin ryujin herself!

shows off her skills (in everything she attempts) all the time and everyone loves it

in general very well liked, her vibe is so comforting and realistic, and she always says the rights things

________________________

<lee chaeryeong>

patronus = ostrich

chae was so annoyed with this honestly, i mean she’s trying to be this cool light academia ravenclaw and her patronus is an ostrich...

like really. really.

everyone laughed at her disappointing patronus, but chaeryeong didn’t care, she was actually beginning to love its uniqueness

throughout the school, chae is known for her adorably caring personality akin to a hufflepuff along with her wisdom

she helps everyone :(

friends with everyone despite being introverted

probably eats lunch with professor flitwick

she’s just too nice

her aesthetic, as i said, is light academia and she pulls it off so well

organizes all the chants at quidditch games

________________________

<shin yuna>

fred and george but one person

the gryffindor common room is in absolute chaos whenever she’s present

her laugh is contagious and can be heard all throughout the dorms, creating a beautiful sense of togetherness and happiness

keeps everyone’s faith in humanity

the loudest at al the quidditch games

teases her friends 100% of the time but will always hug and comfort them when they’re down

can make anyone smile within a few seconds

hangs out in the kitchen

terrorizes all her dormmates cats

they still sleep with her at night though, her bed is covered in cat fur

________________________

<park jiwon>

spends all of her time in the kitchens

her friends are always begging her to bring food back to the common rooms

and she normally does

in fact, she bakes pastries or cooks something for them most of the time because she’s sweet like that

ran into a painting one time and got yelled at by the person in it

it was the sole most terrifying experience in her life

she almost fell down the stairs

now, she’s actually friends with the people in the painting

and they have (maybe) forgiven her for smacking into their tea table and ruining their lunch

 (which they’ve been eating for years but jiwon did not mention that)

________________________

<kim sihyeon>

on the quidditch team

changes positions every single year for some reason (she’s such an ace)

because she has BIG TALENT

loves being a seeker the most (obviously, because she gets all the glory and she’s a leo with a scorpio mars)

has a black cat with the exact same personality as her

one time it ate her ramen and boy was she mad

but the cat, who was named orange (despite not being orange) really liked the noodles

so jiwon convinced sihyeon to let her make feline-friendly noodles for the cat

which sihyeon agreed to

because seeing orange slurp up a bowl of noodles really makes her day

________________________ 

<han eunji>

is professor mcgonagall’s child

i mean not literally, but still

eunji has been taken under her wing

in fact, she actually taught mia how to be a metamorphmagus

eunji managed to turn into a badger

which wasn’t exactly enjoyable at first, since being a badger doesn’t have many benefits other than being able to dig a hole faster than anybody you know

however, eunji used her badger form as a way to relax, because she could escape from all her problems by turning into a woodland animal and going to take a comfy nap in some flowers

her friends were ecstatic when she told them she had become a badger

e:u immediately made her morph into said animal so she could give mia a hug because fluffy

________________________

<jo serim>

accompanies jiwon to the kitchen most days and prevents her from getting bored with her antics

these “antics” involve things like crouching on the counter next to jiwon and crunching down on carrots

to which jiwon just shakes her head and pulls the carrot right out of her mouth 

loves the toads! she has a speckled one and treasures it with all her heart

steals jiwon’s pastries to feed to them

serim is also always in different places

she’s completely unpredictable, moving all around the school throughout the day

you can’t find her in the same place twice (except for the kitchens)

everyone thinks she’s part fairy because of this and her compassion

________________________ 

<heo yoorim>

spends all her time daydreaming while looking up at the sky from the observatory

i don’t blame her, it does have an exquisite view and even sports a bunch of cushions and blankets on the floor for the sole purpose of taking naps in the sun like a cat

anyways, yoorim is lost in her head most of the time

but always takes a trip back to reality during the day, where’s spotted encouraging her friends 24/7

and laughing nonstop at them

(especially sihyeon)

because while she’s a ravenclaw, loved ones are the most important things in her life

________________________ 

<wang yiren>

joins aisha in her imagining sprees up in the observatory

but gets bored and leaves to go sneak into the slytherin common rooms because she wants to spot the giant squid

who she has made friends with from her constant trips to see it

its name is jerry, for anyone who’s wondering

the slytherins have adopted her as one of their one

and yiren takes great pride in it

because she now has a massive posse of people ready to protect her from anyone who would dare to make her sad

________________________

<kwon eunbi>

keeps everyone in line because she finds everyone annoying

collapses on the sofa at the end of the day

probably snores

has the best self confidence of the whole school

i mean some of it is because she wants to be a good role model, but she really just doesn’t care at this point

her owl would rip any enemies to shreds

because it is pretty fearsome, even if it’s the smallest one professor mcgonagall has ever seen

and she’s seen a lot

probably a tutor ngl

________________________

<miyawaki sakura>

the most passionate gryffindor you’ll ever meet

sakura definitely makes a name for herself cheering at all the quidditch games

and with the fact that she won the triwizard tournament!

keeps the cup in the gyrffindor common rooms

because she sees it as something the house should be proud of, not just sakura

so sweet i can not with her

actually didn’t bring a pet and now regrets it

but she’s busy so she wouldn’t have time to care ofr it

but still

🥺cats🥺

________________________

<kang hyewon>

the seventh years surrounded her on her first day because of her “must protect” energy

and the fact that her toad escaped as soon as she came through the door

which resulted in school-wide panic

they found the toad luckily

well, it actually came running back to hyewon

for some reason, it actually bit her! which made her laugh

the devious amphibian apparently had a habit for escaping, which hyewon learned about after multiple attempts from it at running away

which never worked

because hyewon would get so sad and said toad would feel bad

thus meaning it would turn around and bound back to hyewon

________________________

<choi yena>

immediately fell in love with hogwarts once she saw the great hall

one, because it was full of food

and two, because it’s so pretty! and the starts reflect on the ceiling! and magic!

tried to bond with the sorting hat

and it most likely worked because she is choi yena and can do things like that

a social butterfly without realizing it, everyone wants to talk to her all at the same time and she is b i g s t r e s s e d

helps with homework even if she has no idea what she’s doing

it aides her in picking up the subject because no that she’s having to explain it it clicks in her mind

strategy peeps

________________________

<lee chaeyeon>

the sorting hat knew she was a hufflepuff the minute she walked through the door

her bright energy and happy-go-lucky charm made her a friend magnet, everyone wanted to be her bestie

dances to cheer people up

is friends with all the ravenclaws and joins them in their all-nighters when they’ve discovered a new obsession

wins every single lottery/game/anything that involves chance

her nicknames is felix felicis (i hope i’m spelling that right)

racks up all the house points because the professors can’t help but praise her for everything

and she deserves it to, always running around helping others

________________________

<kim chaewon>

the seeker for hufflepuff

surprised the class and left everyone open-mouthed with her quidditch skills

had no idea she was so good, but after a while begins to take a lot of pride in her talent

the sorting hat considered slytherin for chaewon, but decided against it

which may seem like an odd combination, but it wasn’t uncommon 

befriends all the slytherins and has them head over heels in love with her

same with the gryffindors

in fact, chaewon doesn’t know actually know many hufflepuffs, she’s always gotten along better with the other houses

________________________

<kim minju>

joins vivi in at night whenever she’s in the astronomy tower

has an admirable amount of ravenclaw friends and has practically become one at this point

goes in the common room all the time because she can figure out the riddles

smh their security system really isn’t that good

becomes obsessed with random subjects

has a different best class every year

comes up with her own spells

hogsmeade weekends are her favorite :(

and minju stuffs herself with butterbeer every time

eunbi’s the only person who can keep her in check

________________________

<yabuki nako>

i mean all hufflepuffs are cute-

but nako really takes the cake 

because no one can look at her adorable smile and not think she’s the cutest human to ever exist

drew on the walls of the hufflepuff dorms because she accidentally drank a potion yuri had been brewing

which caused her to go loopy and delirious

eunbi was summoned and forced to tuck nako into bed so she could sleep it off

lights up the room whenever she walks in

everybody swears that the candles actually brighten whenever nako appears

________________________

<honda hitomi>

loves the ravenclaw tower with all her heart :(

almost fainted when she first saw it because of how pretty it was

peak house spirit

ravenclaw only wins the house cup if hitomi has a good year

because she’s just so happy to be a ravenclaw and all the teachers are like yeh hitomi yeh and give her lots of points

became a prefect the first chance she got

doens’t get anyone in trouble though

but no one takes any chances because they don’t want to disappoint her

________________________

<jo yuri>

a master at potions

spends half her time concocting liquids to do a bunch of (benevolent) things

has suspicious stains on her robes

nobody questions it

because she’s a ravenclaw, which means she will feel extremely put off at any sort of accusatory remarks and you won’t be able to understand her answer because of her big brain words

jumps 10 feet in the air if you interrupt her magic

screams too

makes you swear to never tell anyone

but it’s happened to everyone so at this point it’s just common knowledge

________________________

<ahn yujin>

a beater for gryffindor and goes beast mode whenever ravenclaw is playing

because for some reason they make her eye twitch

even if she’s friends with a bunch of them

she’s still just BIG GRR

spends all of her itme in the gryffindor common room

greets everyone when they come in

is on a first-name basis with the entire school and no one knows how she can remember them all

and she’s so sweet to people? how does she deal with it

whenever she comes in the room there’s a chorus of “ahn yujin, the woman, the myth, the legend!”

________________________

<jang wonyoung>

thought the common room actually had badgers in it

and was extremely disappointed when she found out they didn’t

haseul felt bad seeing wonyoung’s sadness and invited her on a badger hunt

they found two

and bonded with them by feeing them food

i don’t know what badgers eat so i won’t specify

but the badgers followed the two home and now the hufflepuff house has two pet badgers

wonyoung takes great pride in that accomplishment

even more than when she (effortlessly) won the triwizard tournament in her sixth year

________________________

<wong gaahei>

super into astronomy and astrology

will stare at the stars all night

has seven telescopes and has no shame

seems quiet at first, but the ravenclaw dorms are always filled with the sound of her laughter (even at 3 in the morning)

daydreams in class all the time

and is confused over everything

but still makes it through with her sweet personality

fell off a broom the first time she ever got on one

because she was so busy watching the instructor that she didn’t realize her head was tilted so far to the side that it unbalanced her and caused her to slip off her broom

________________________

<ha sooyoung>

snako right here wanted to play quidditch her whole life

but sadly, she wasn’t too good at it

however, yves soon realized her true talent transfiguration

seriously, she can change anything into anything

zapped lippie into a mouse one time

professor mcgonagall was not happy

just kidding she was ecstatic and gave sooyoung a detention to teach her how to perfect her skills on turning people into mice

just not jungeun

holds a grudge against the gryffindor quidditch team but won’t ever admit it

but everybody knows

but it’s okay, because sooyoung can get away with anything (and no one wants to be turned into a mouse)

________________________

<jung jinsoul>

famous for winning the triwizard tournament 

because first of all, she didn’t even want to apply, yves and heejin had forced her to as a joke because there was no way she was going to be picked

but low and behold, she was picked

and somehow managed to win every task with pure luck

(and an ungodly amount of encouragement from chuu)

this has made everyone scared of her

which she doesn’t mind a lot of times, because it’s nice to be left alone

and she can easily filter out peole she doesn’t want in her life

but still

to people who aren’t aware of her winnings

she’s about as terrifying as a duck eating lettuce

________________________

<jo haseul>

overworked as the head of house but deals with it because she loves taking care of her fellow puffies

i miss her so much

was on the quidditch team at some point

she can’t remember when

third year maybe

her first four years went by in a blur

she was so enveloped in her studies and loved learning about magic with all her heart

100% got a job at the ministry once she finished her seventh year

there was zero question when choosing the head of house for hufflepuff

everyone immediately nominated haseul

________________________

<kim jungeun>

The Scary Ravenclaw TM

no one messes with her or her posse

a beast at magic has legit something like an 8.0 GPA

everyone’s like jungeun that is hecking impossible

not for her apparently

whipped for all the hufflepuffers and is known to trudge into their common room whenever she’s grumpy

because she knows at least sixteen people will volunteer to hug her

(preferably chuu is in that group)

denies it though

like heck no i hate hugs what are you talking about

________________________

<kim jiwoo>

the definition of a hufflepuff

was the talk of the school the first day because of how big of an impact her positivity and cheerfulness made

she turns heads and doesn’t even notice it😔

didn’t bring a pet, surprisingly

but steals everyone else’s

no one bothers to reprimand her whenever their cat disappears and is found cuddled up next to chuu

because honestly if i was a cat that’s what i would do

her patronus is probably something like a pufferfish

which she thought was the best thing ever

because “it goes poof whenever i stop the spell!”

________________________

<jeon heejin>

A CHASER FOR GRYFFINDOR AND EVERYONE AND THEIR DOG IS WHIPPED FOR HOW WELL SHE PLAYS QUIDDITCH

acts like she struggles with school but is actually top of her class

spends a bunch of time with her professors because she loves talking to them

such a libra smh

brought a toad

was so embarrassed at first but is now shameless 

about the fact that yes, she does kiss her toad on the forehead before she leaves for school each morning

even if most of the time she keeps the toad in her pocket all day because she doesn’t want to leave it alone

________________________

<kim hyunjin>

head owl caretaker

spends all of her time with hagrid :(

there are multiple stains on the floor from when they’re drinking tea together and hyunjin does something that makes them both spit out their drinks in laughter

fang cleans it up though

the animals are her favorite thing

created a spell to remove fur/hair from her clothes because she gets bad allergies

steals whole loaves of bread from the kitchens

the cooks turn a blind eye

________________________

<park chaewon>

has eaten all the crackers in the kitchen in one go

no one was really mad (except for jiwon) because how could you be upset with her?

her crunchy voice is adorable, even if she’s lying and blaming it all on yeojin

does her own thing most of the time

one of those people who will memorize 1800 spells but tell no one

and then shows everything off at the perfect moment

loves watching quidditch

will go to the practices just to see people play, she’s that enamored

a HUGE fan of the chudley cannons

________________________

<choi yerim>

friends with all the hufflepuffs

stole their badgers one time because she wanted to test the theory of “hufflepuffs are good finders”

they would have found their pets

but were too scared to accuse choerry

even if they knew it was her

choerry felt bad and sneakily returned the truffle-hunters during the night

she heard chuu disgruntledly ranting to haseul about how rude it was to steal some poor defenseless badgers

she turned them invisible shortly after that for another prank

but gowon exposed her

yerim’s never forgiven her for it

________________________

<son hyejoo>

the sweetest slytherin you’ll ever meet

loves to sit in the common room and stare at the water in the lake

but always gets scared by people walking in

even though she’s used to it because it happens every 10 minutes 

but it’s still

ahh!

wanted to be on the quidditch team so bad when she was younger but now does not see the point she would much rather sit in the charms room and make up dumb spells with chuu

professor flitwick helps them

and always has cupcakes on handy

________________________

<im yeojin>

the mind of a slytherin and is the head prankster

no one suspects her because she looks and acts to sweet to do anything

but despite their “fair play” thing going on

hufflepuffs are the best jokers you’ll find

yeojin has started a pranking service

makes a bunch of money off it

enough to buy all 11 of her besties bags of candy at hogsmeade

(along with getting herself one because she deserves it)

oh!

and some for hufflepuff’s badgers too!

________________________

<yoo jimin>

i put her in gryffindor at first because aries

but she really has the personality of a ravenclaw :)

and she definitely brought an eagle/hawk to school

convinced everyone it was an owl

i mean no one really thought it was an owl because it obviously was a different kind of bird

but 

how the heck do you take away someone’s bird and prevent it from going back to them?

and where do you put it?

that was karina’s plan

she knew no one could outsmart her

the riddle thingo at the entrance to the ravenclaw dorms was very proud of her

they’re friends

________________________

<uchinaga aeri>

the sorting hat spent five hours deciding on whether to put giselle in slytherin or hufflepuff

i’m exaggerating but you get the picture

because she values all of the things that the houses represent?!

but hufflepuff was still the best fit

loves to wander around the halls and staircases so she can discover the infinite amount of corridors and rooms inside hogwarts

she’ll never find them all

which is a little dissatisfying

but it’s still fun!

and ningning accompanies her a lot of the time, which can be incredibly distracting because neither of them end up going the direction they want to because they see something cool and go !!??

________________________

<kim minjeong>

a chaser for gryffindor

although no one knows about it? 

winter just never mentions it so whenever she plays there’s an uproar because that’s minjeong out there!

she loves the compliments from the outcome/ending of her accomplishments rather than the encouragement along the way

an ace at sneaking around the school

has gotten into all of the houses’ dorms 

no one found out

although the fat friar did see her and lecture her on privacy

she sort of listened

by which i mean she stayed out of the hufflepuff dorms and instead wen to the ravenclaw ones

________________________

<ning yizhuo>

the pride of hufflepuff for her quidditch skills

she’s so good at it

no one really expected this from her, but her determination blasted away any competition

and the team needs her badly 

for her quidditch skills

and her constant encouragement and cheering

giselle ended up giving her a microphone to wear during games so the whole school could hear how amazing and sweet the hufflepuff house is

smiles at everyone she walks past and the entire population of hogwarts knows her name

________________________

<kim chungha>

mcgonagall’s favorite

a role model for everyone, chungha has a posse of first years surrounding her at all times

her becoming head of house was no surprise, everyone expected her to and no one was jealous or envied her position since she did such a good job of leading gryffindor

used to be on the quidditch team as a blugder

which no one expected from sweet chungha

she was average, not a prodigy but not bad either

ended up quitting in sixth year to focus more on her studies, namely charms

________________________

<jeon somi>

in about 18 clubs

started 15 of them

for some reason she just loves the thrill of being part of a group more than others

and really enjoys having people around her

excellent at charms! it’s her best subject and professor flitwick uses her as an example all the time

she loves it

probably had to give her animal away to someone else (big sad) because she’s so busy

it was hyunjin who took it

now they’re really good friends and somi can see her cat whenever she wants to

________________________ 

[1-800-smash]

can you do the alphabet with kirishima please 🥺👉👈

「 now i know my abc’s. 」

feat. kirishima.

summary: learn the alphabet with everyone’s favorite daddy shark ;)

warnings: nsfw content.

[all characters are aged up appropriately.]

word count: 2k

request: @im-alyssa-btw — ❝can you do the alphabet with kirishima please 🥺👉👈❞

a/n: ahh my first request, thank you so much! i hope you like it as much as i liked writing it. please enjoy  ♡ —  shelbs.

submitted — [09.16.20]

nsfw under the cut.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

⚘ the most attentive and caring to his partner after sex, you need something? name it.

⚘ water, your favorite snack, an extra pillow...

⚘ doesn’t matter what it is, he’ll always get it for you. all you have to do is ask.

⚘ it’s the least he can do after all you do for him alone, he’s so appreciative of all you do.

⚘ 100% down for cuddles after, he loves the feeling of your body on his.

⚘ and who could forget about the soft kisses he peppers your face with afterwards? not kirishima, that’s for sure!

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

⚘ kirishima is an absolute ass man.

⚘ there i said it.

⚘ he loves grabbing your ass when you ride him or even just staring at it from across the room, he fucking loves it.

⚘ and as for his favorite body part? his hands.

⚘ how else is he supposed to grab or smack your ass?

⚘ but also because he just loves holding your hand...

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

⚘ his loads are thick and when he cums, he comes a lot.

⚘ has a nice milk white color to it but still clear and very messy.

⚘ the taste isn’t that bad either, not that salty and you can swallow it like a champ.

⚘ fuck, if he doesn’t love it when you swallow...

⚘ and when he cums inside you, the feeling of it pooling out of you is enough to make you run straight to the bathroom.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

⚘ this may sound a little boring, but i don’t think he’d have one?

⚘ he’s not that experienced with sex and while he is open to experimentation i don’t think he would do anything on his own.

⚘ if you introduced him to things like toys, i think he would be really into building a collection with you.

⚘ he wants to try it ALL.

⚘ maybe even try them on himself when you’re not around to use them with?

⚘ but as for by himself, probably not.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

⚘ he doesn’t have much experience when it comes to sex.  

⚘ our baby shark doesn’t mess around when it comes to matters of the heart, it takes a lot of trust for him to be able to have a physical relationship with another person.

⚘ but what he lacks in experience he makes up for with an eagerness to learn, he wants to make you feel good!

⚘ with some careful guidance and mutual trust, he’ll map out every inch of your body with careful precision.

⚘ which areas draw out those cute, soft moans of yours and which ones leave you crying out his name is desperation.

⚘ it won’t take long for him to leave you a shivering, cum-filled mess by the end of the night.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

⚘ he likes to see his partner’s face during sex, he loves looking at all the expressions you make.

⚘ from the adorable moans you let out to the sinful look on your face as he makes you cum for the 3rd time.

⚘ he also likes to make sure he’s doing a good job and making you feel as great as he does.

⚘ missionary would be the most common in your relationship.

⚘ but he’s always down to try new positions with you, he wants nothing more than to make you happy.

⚘ he’s also a big fan of cowgirl, he’ll be rendered absolutely helpless under your control when your fucking his brains out.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

⚘ he takes having sex pretty serious, so he won’t be joking around too much.

⚘ that isn’t to say he won’t try to lighten the mood, especially if his partner is self-conscious.

⚘ he wants you to feel absolutely comfortable, and if that requires him to be a little less serious then so be it.

⚘ anything to make you feel safe when you’re with him.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

⚘ he tries his best to groom it but he mostly just leaves it the way it is.

⚘ the carpet DOES NOT match the drapes.

⚘ them pubes are as black as his hair was on the day he was born.

⚘ probably wouldn’t dye his pubes, he already puts too much time into his hair alone, why would he add his pubic hair into that mess?

⚘ his pubes are not as spiky as his hair but still have that pointed look and feel to them.

⚘ but don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt! in fact, it feels even better when they rub up against your clit as he fucks you into the mattress.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

⚘ oh, this boy is SUCH a romantic.

⚘ can be cliche at times but honestly it’s so endearing that you could care less.

⚘ he wants you to know just how much you mean to him, and if that turns him into an absolute SIMP for you than so be it.

⚘ he’s always whispering how beautiful you look when you’re in the moment, caressing your face, kissing you everywhere.

⚘ when he’s done there will be no doubt in your mind that this boy loves you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

⚘ he masturbates at least 2-3 times a week or well at least he used to until he met you.

⚘ why would he need to masturbate when you’re sitting there and so ready to please him?

⚘ he doesn’t like to make sex just about pleasing him though, but he has to admit you do a good enough job doing that on your own.

⚘ the only time he really masturbates now is when you’re not in the mood (which is rare) or not home.

⚘ and even then it still doesn’t do much for him the way it used to, not when you can make him cum so much harder just by moving your hips that certain way...

⚘ you’ve got him seeing stars.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

⚘ let me tell you, this man has a PRAISE kink.

⚘ nothing will get him off faster than knowing how good he’s making you feel.

⚘ kirisima’s always struggled with his self-confidence and self-worth.

⚘ that’s why he’s so much better at making other people feel good rather than himself.

⚘ so for him to hear just how good he’s making his partner feel makes him really happy.

⚘ please, please, PLEASE tell this boy what a good job he’s doing!

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

⚘ he prefers a more romantic setting when it comes to sex.

⚘ *cough* your bedroom.

⚘ he’s definitely down to fuck you wherever though if he’s needy enough.

⚘ on the couch? why not. in the shower? hell yeah. on the kitchen counter? oh absolutely.

⚘ isn’t a big fan of public sex, he’d be way to worried of getting caught by someone.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

⚘ he adores you to the moon and back, but what he admires about you the most is your strength.

⚘ show off how strong you are with him around and he’s going to be swooning over you.

⚘ he also loves being surprised with you by being the one to initiate.

⚘ it makes him feel loved and wanted!

⚘ and there’s nothing that makes him feel better than knowing that you want him to fuck your brains out.

⚘ figuratively speaking, of course.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

⚘ nothing that involves hurting you in any shape or form, he loves you!

⚘ why on earth would he want to hurt you?

⚘ he’s the type of guy who would stop sex just to ask if you’re okay from even just a HINT of discomfort.

⚘ there is no way you could convince him otherwise, there just isn’t.

⚘ hurting your partner isn’t MANLY.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

⚘ absolute BEAST when it comes to giving oral.

⚘ he will leave you trembling under his touch as he draws out another orgasm out of you.

⚘ you’re not even going to remember your own name when he’s done.

⚘ sorry, but kirishima just takes the cake with this one!

⚘ no one will ever be able to eat pussy like this man does.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

⚘ his pace starts off slow and sensual, but he tends to pick it up once you get closer to your release.

⚘ he doesn’t like being too rough with you but with enough coercion he might be persuaded to be a little rougher than usual.

⚘ obviously, he doesn’t want to hurt you, so communication is key with him!

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

⚘ when the two of you have sex he really wants to take his time and leave you feeling absolutely satisfied.

⚘ he doesn’t mind quickies, he just wants more time to be intimate with you.

⚘ if the two of you only had time for a quickie then he wouldn’t mind, but he would think about how much he was going to make it up to you the next time you two are alone together.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

⚘ hell yeah, this man is game to experiment!

⚘ as long as you’re comfortable with what you’re doing than he’s good to go.

⚘ if at any point you want to stop then he’s there in a heartbeat, whatever you need it’s yours.

⚘ don’t even worry about it, he just wants you to feel safe and secure.

⚘ as for risks, it depends on what the risk is...

⚘ nothing that will hurt you or have anyone walk in on you both.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

⚘ he can go for at least 3 rounds, maybe 4 if you’re really into it.

⚘ baby boy has lots of stamina and all the more desire to please you all night long.

⚘ he wastes no time in fucking you absolutely silly.

⚘ sex with him can usually last an hour, but if you go for more rounds after they’ll not be as long.

⚘ what can he say? it takes a lot of energy in pleasing the one you love.

⚘ and god, does he love you a lot.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

⚘ he has a pretty open mind when it comes to these things.

⚘ now, while kirishima wouldn’t own any on his own volition, i think if his partner recommended it he would definitely want to try it for himself.

⚘ it doesn’t take much to convince him!

⚘ and if he really enjoys it he may even look for toys on his own to surprise you with or ones he thinks you might like.

⚘ i could definitely see him being into it once he gets nudged in the right direction.

⚘ *wink wink* ;)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

⚘ he doesn’t like to tease that much.

⚘ now whether his partner likes to is a different story all together.

⚘ but mostly, he loves to fulfill his partners needs and he just doesn’t think teasing will get him there any better.

⚘ what can i say, this man lives to please.

⚘ would be open to tease you if you suggested it to him and assured him you will like it,

⚘ he’s very big into over-stimulation though, he will leave you an incoherent mess that’s unable to walk when you’re done trust me on this.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

⚘ he can be very noisy and it doesn’t take much to break him.

⚘ the closer he gets to cumming the louder he’ll be, broken whines escaping from him as he tried to hold just a bit longer.

⚘ but with you, it’s impossible.

⚘ you know exactly how to make him cum until he’s whimpering from over-stimulation.

⚘ needless to say, the noises this boy makes is heaven to your ears.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

⚘ he has some pretty sharp teeth, so i wouldn’t be surprised if he might have a slight biting kink.

⚘ while he absolutely hates the thought of hurting you i think he’d be ok with soft nibbles here and there.

⚘ as long a you’re ok with it, of course!

⚘ i mean... they don’t call him daddy shark for nothing ;)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

⚘ he’s about 5.6 inches, uncircumcised.

⚘ it’s pretty thick and has a nice girth to it, makes you feel small whenever you hold it in your hand.

⚘ but god, if it doesn’t make you feel fucking amazing.

⚘ he can make you cum 3 times just from his cock alone, and fuck if he doesn’t make sure you do every damn time.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

⚘ he has an average sex drive.

⚘ he’s enjoys having sex like any other guy does but by no means is he going to be humping your leg every 10 minutes.

⚘ he respects what you want and if you don’t feel like it that’s all you have to say and he’ll go back to whatever you two were doing before.

⚘ he drinks respect women juice daily.

⚘ on average you both have sex with each other at least 5-6 times a week.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

⚘ he will not fall asleep before you do, he always makes sure you cared for before he even thinks of dozing off.

⚘ once he’s sure you have everything you need and your fast asleep in his arms, only then will he be satisfied enough to fall asleep himself.

⚘ it won’t take him too long to fall asleep after you, holding you tight in his embrace while he tries to think just how on earth he deserves you.

⚘ and honestly? he doesn’t know but he’s sure glad he does.

[daaziscoolbesties]

[REPOST] MY 2K WORD COMMENTARY/ANALYSIS OF RANBOO’S LORE STREAM

‼️‼️This post contains lore spoilers from Ranboo’s 4/23 stream, “The Enderwalk Saga. Chapter 1: The Lessons”. If you haven’t seen that stream don’t read ahead unless you want spoilers‼️‼️

disclaimer: this isnt really an analysis as much as a bunch of commentary and half-baked theories.

-on the way to the mansion he was sort of talking to himself saying stuff like "i'm good i'm good" which m a y be a normal thing but also maybe it's not and it flew over our heads cause he talks to chats and donos like that so often

-again, this one may just be a normal thing but when he was climbing up the stairs in the mansion looking for foolish, he repeats some of his words like down to the exact same tone of voice and everything. 12:42,  "this mansion is way too big actually. this mansion is way too big actually." (why the repeated actually? seems odd to me but again it might just be a normal thing that i haven't picked up on). (right after) "okay okay lemme find him lemme find him" again repeated words in the e x a c t same tone.

-does everyone know about ranboo's silk touch hands ability thing? or was that just a techno and ranboo main character moment. bc if it was, how would foolish know that ranboo could pick up the full cake after it'd been partially eaten. unless everyone on the sever knows about that in which case this means nothing. but if they d o n t know... how would foolish know? ranboo wrote about it in the do not read book so maybe if it's not a publicly known thing maybe foolish got his hands on the book and read it??

-14:53-ish, they're talking about the war room and how it was for tubbo or whatever and ranboo says, and i quote "he prepares for lore but he's never gonna do it." now funny thing is at first i couldn't tell if he said "war" like in reference to the war room or "lore". but after playing the clip over and over i can say with ALMOST 100% certainty that he said lore. there is a definite L sound at the beginning of the word. which either means a) this was a slip up (doubtful bc he said later that there were no mistakes), b) he broke the fourth wall because they were supposed to be rping at that point, or c) i'm completely wrong and he said "war" which leads down an entire other road of possibilities

-15:17 "are you a book reader?" "*checks inventory for do not read book* uh yeah i'd say i'm a book reader-" dunno how i didn't catch this the first time I HATE THAT DAMN BOOK

-15:18 there's blue in his hotbar. where did he get the blue.

-16:40 "it's like a metaphor- i have two minds: i have my normal self, my normal little shift-dancing self, and then the builder one. the builder one is demanding. it's a very demanding mind." ranboo then lets out a weird sigh after this. i feel like what foolish was talking about was an indirect(?) parallel to ranboo in and out of enderwalk, there's how he normally is, trying to do best for others, and then there's enderwalk, meeting up with bad guys and "demanding" things (its very late as i write this i really don't know what i'm talking about)

-17:11 "you have your panic closet" i'm sorry his what now 😀 no but seriously how the hell did i miss some of these

-18:04 "you're asking me if i remember?" very funny ranboo thank you for making jokes in these trying times

-18:25 WHY DID HE GET OUT THE AXE WHEN STARING AT THE BEE

-19:38 why did foolish hold the grass block- most of these observations probably mean nothing but- h u h - is that- i'm too tired for this

-19:54 "i never properly thanked you for the deal you made with me" so foolish got something out of this deal, we're not sure if ranboo did. "the green cardboard box" again do you mean dream's house- but seriously the only people i can think of on the server that are associated with green are dream and sam. and i have no idea what cardboard box could be referring to.  foolish got a lime colored shulker from drista

-20:30 "we're supposed to only talk about it at a certain location" hmm now where would that be? panic room maybe? cause like usually after doing a big thing in the enderwalk state ranboo wakes up in the panic room so maybe?  the deal was that they only talk about it in his house

-21:52 how does ranboo receive(?) the lessons? like are they whispered to him in his mind or is he seeing them as words in front of him like we see? hmm

-"Lesson 14: If you have the opportunity to gain a favor, take it." "gain a favor" don't you usually ask people for favors though? how does one "gain a favor"? anyways i'm pretty sure lesson 14 has to do with the deal foolish was talking about. (the deal explained because i now have info: at some point a bit ago foolish met up with ranboo and asked to make a deal, he'd gotten a shulker box from drista. the deal was that ranboo would have ownership of the box, it would be under his name but foolish rents/borrows it indefinitely. ranboo negotiated that if he took ownership of the box he would get a "war favor"  from foolish where if something happens that creates sides, ranboo can ask him a favor that could change his side. but why would foolish want ranboo to have ownership of the shulker you may ask? well i have an answer for you. a theory actually but still. basically since drista technically isn't supposed to give out shit on the server if someone where to have that stuff then they may get in trouble. foolish wants to be able to use the shulker but if it gets found he doesn't want to get in trouble, so he can blame it on ranboo seeing as it's under his name.)

-22:16-ish "i still have this from when you *can't understand whats said here*" well i guess that sort of explains why he had the grass block? idk man (info update: he had the grass block from when ranboo threw it at him telling him to calm down like what ghostbur does with blue)

-31:35 "i figured out how to cause it" how to cause the enderwalk state

-38:30 "ninety three lessons" I STILL DONT KNOW WHY HE KEPT SAYING NINETY THREE AND NOT NINETY FOUR AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY LMAO

-39:01 "it's all for the greater good" okay well when are you gonna start thinking about yourself and not everyone else for once huh. self care bitch.

-40:31 he started holding the axe when he was looking at sam- gonna say it i really don't like that axe ahahah- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE THE AXE IS NAMED "axe of ender" I DONT LIKE THAT I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL

-41:53 is there something?? physically keeping him from telling sam??? or maybe it's sort of like his enderwalk state taking control to make him shut the fuck up??? so many questions and approximately zero answers

-43:18 ranboo raising his voice legitimately scares me 😀👍

-"Lesson 27: Do not reminisce on what you have lost for it will weigh you down." showed up when he was thinking about and REMINISCING about the community house 👀👀

-"Lesson 53: Never fully trust anyone." showed up literally after he said that he thinks he can trust the other people on the server enough to tell them about what he did

-"Lesson 67: Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." this is different from the others because there doesn't seem to be at least a semi-direct connection to it? unless maybe at the time ranboo was near something he may have "helped with"? not sure about this one

-"Lesson 94: DO NOT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE" yeah yeah i get it i get it he's fucked up some shit in enderwalk i don't feel like analyzing this thanks

-OH OH NOTICE HOW HE SAYS "REMEMBERING" WHEN THE LESSONS SHOW UP. IMPLYING THAT THIS ISNT A NEW THING, ITS HAPPENED BEFORE AND NOW HES REMEMBERING IT. MAYBE HE WROTE DOWN THE LESSONS WHEN HE WAS IN ENDERWALK AND NOW THAT HES BEEN EXPERIMENTING ITS BEEN EASIER FOR HIM TO REMEMBER THOSE ENDERWALK MEMORIES

-okokok the experiments are that he's been e x p e r i m e n t i n g on how to purposefully induce the enderwalk state. and we know now that it wasn't from the pain of the water because on the stream afterwords he said that it's caused by the intense fear of something happening. and so the "side effects" of the experiments is that since he's in enderwalk more often(?) he starts remembering more things from it

-OH MY GOD WAIT "there is a reason sam, there's so many reasons, theres ninety three of them" (44:47) WHAT IF EVERY LESSON IS TIED TO A QUOTE UNQUOTE "reason" THAT RANBOO THINKS HES A BAD PERSON/NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP BUT HE SAYS NINETY THREE INSTEAD OF NINETY FOUR BECAUSE THE NINETY FOURTH LESSON DOESNT HAVE A REASON YET/HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT HAVING A REASON

-dude honestly the whole sam part hurts so much this man is scarily good at acting

-46:46 "i cant put you in the prison you wouldn't be able to see michael anymore" bestie that's the point he doesn't want to accidentally hurt michael or tubbo in the enderwalk state—

-okay but there's no way that sam couldn't tell that ranboo was at least TRYING to confess to something- i feel like he definitely knows more than he's letting on because usually like when people do bad shit or admit to doing bad shit he's like in Prison Guard Mode™️ (he literally cut off ponk's arm because he stole some keycards or something) and whatever and idk what he knows but he definitely knows something and is trying to protect ranboo. or he's trying to manipulate him or smth either one works—

-50:38 "you are a good person" "i am?" you can hear my heart shatter. "yes you are" "i don't think so sam" "i do, even if you don't" "i really don't think so" and there it goes again

-51:25 hello badboyhalo i see you to the left of ranboo

-52:44 "but then my curiosity got the best of me" curiosity killed the cat, bitch

-52:54 "there's ninety three, ninety four, ninety- theres so many reasons!" SEE!! NOT ONLY ARE THERE THAT MANY LESSONS THERE ARE REASONS THAT CORRESPOND IM S O SMART—

-52:56 "i don't want to remember anymore!" *quietly brings forth my theory that when ranboo loses a canon life his memory gets wiped*

-53:13 "ive opened pandora's box" isn't the prison?? literally called pandora's VAULT??? so this m a y be a stretch but i'm thinking that maybe this could be taken in the literal sense that he "opened" the prison and let dream out (the sirens at the end of quackity's stream confirm that dream is indeed out)

-53:42 mans just straight up walked through a ghost i—

-55:37 so are we just gonna ignore the eleventh page of the book? "he's alive, but hopefully soon dream won't be"??? alright nevermind it's most likely bc when tommy came back he recruited ranboo in his plan to kill dream

-55:47 notice how he writes "what am i?" as opposed to "who am i?" no elaboration here idk what it could be

-56:08 just so it's clear for anyone who doesn't know- he's wearing armor at this point, and i'm like 90% sure that when he wears his armor water can't hurt him. and i saw someone say somewhere that like with splash potions when thrown it turns into a gas-like thing? so again, it didn't hurt him, he didn't get hurt. he said in the chill stream that he wasn't comfortable making it where his character had to hurt himself to do that. the thing that causes the enderwalk isn't pain, it's intense and sudden emotions like fear and stress. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 11

[Date: 19/02, 05.34 AM - 19/02, 06.15 AM GMT]

fetch: “Guys I’m sorry I. I kinda cracked and told them.”

[Multiple panicked messages from everyone]

[No |Stars: “Prince???”]

“I'm... Still here...”

[Library/Ren: “fetch you’re gonna get Prince hurt”]

fetch: “Look you think I didn’t think about that? Prince is in danger either way its best there’s a chance they remember something.”

fetch: “Look guys Im sorry but if there’s any chance to give Prince a chance to fend for themselves then I think we should give it to them.”

[More discussion. People are trying to get Prince to write something]

[Crown edits the google doc]

WisMoth: “Crown. I figure you can see this. Please don't hurt Prince okay? We thought we were doing what was best. Fetch I ain't gonna let just you take the fall”

salem: “yeah fetch please do not deal alone“

[Redacted]: “it's all our fault, not just yours.“

fetch: “Telling Prince was my idea and mine alone. If Crown wants to punish me, then so be it”

“E v e r y t h i n g  i s  f i n e : )“

“M e l l o h i   i s   s u c h   a   p r e t t y   s o n g ,   d o n ' t   y o u   t h i n k ?”

[Context: Prince played Mellohi in the voicechat and then left]

[spectral || g3rmpy: “Sure is. Who are we talking to?”]

“P r i n c e ,   o f   c o u r s e : )”

[No |Stars: “Prince. You dont sound like yourself right now. Please give us a sign if youre safe”]

“E v e r y t h i n g   i s   f i n e.   C r o w n   i s   g o i n g  t o   t a k e   g o o d   c a r e   o f   m e : )”

[fetch: “Prince, if this is you then I'm sorry. If this is Crown, then how about you just dole out punishment to the naughty kid already?”]

“D o n ' t   b e   s o r r y : ) I ' m   s o   h a p p y   n o w.”

[spectral || g3rmpy: “I assume smile day is still happening, whoever you are?”]

“O f   c o u r s e : )”

[At this point, Prince’s username changed to “C R O W N”]

“This is what happens when you disobey direct orders. Do you understand?“

[spectral || g3rmpy: “We understand...”]

“Good. Don't. Let. It. Happen. Again.”

[fetch: “Crown. I'm the one you need to punish. Not Prince.”]

“I'm not punishing Prince. Prince is happier now. And they're going to stay that way for a very. Long. Time.”

[[Redacted]: “Happy families must allow room for independent thought. No family is happy without that. Hey Crown? Just know that if you're not gonna be more frank with your family, you're going to have a smaller, sadder one, if there's even going to be a family left. You don't want us to leave you.”]

“If you don't want to be a part of the family, fine. Leave.“

[Redacted]: “I will. Farewell! Choose people wisely.“

[kate [they/them]: “And yet, when someone tries to leave, you force them back.”]

“I made Prince what they are. After everything I've done for them, the least they can do is stay with us.”

“I'll give Prince back momentarily. Just know that if you mess things up again, well... There's going to be consequences.”

[After this, Prince returned and the username changed to “p r i n c e”.]

“Im tired... Im gonna go to sleep now, okay? :)“

“:)”

[velvxtparadise]

If it’s not too much, could you do the whole fluff alphabet for Bakugo 🥺👉👈

KATSUKI BAKUGO FLUFF ALPHABET!

a/n; it was sooo fun to write this. thank you for requesting this, and I hope you like it anon!

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

He likes to train with you, and in his free time he will be training. If he’s tired, he probably will watch movies with you until he passes out on the couch.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Bakugo is a difficult and irritant guy, so he admires how you keep up with him, screaming back at him and punching him he would never punch you. He loves your personality and your creative ways of keeping up with him.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

This boy only knows how to scream, thanks to his mother he sucks at comforting you, but he will try his best. He will hug you and rub your back, and if somebody is looking at you two, he will scream at them to go and stop looking.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

HERE 

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

He’s the dominant one. No more to say

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

You guys have lots of fights, but five minutes later you’re hugging each other and laughing. HE CAN'T STAND FIGHTING WITH YOU, but that won't stop him from screaming. He forgives you two seconds after the fight. If it was a big fight you guys will probably be four days without talking.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Katsuki is grateful, but he doesn't show it verbally. He will get rid of his frown and look softly at you to show you how grateful he is.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

The only thing he keeps from you is that Midoriya is All Might's successor. Bakugo tells you everything, even if Denki accidentally electrocuted Sero, protect him

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

He's less explosive when you’re around. And you successfully made him give yoga a try, and now every afternoon after training he goes outside to do yoga with you.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He's kind of oblivious at the beginning, but when he hears you laugh with some extra , he’s burning. That extra is certainly going to die, be ready to hear some big explosions. 

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

HERE

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

This guy seemed to be holding back around you, everyone notices. When you're training he's always screaming on how you don't defend yourself correctly. deep down inside he just cares about you. One day you get a big blow from Sato, and he's screaming at your body in the floor, until he notices you’ve fainted. Color drains from his face and he took you to recovery girl before Aizawa could even take a good look at you. When you woke up, he was at your side. “It was time, extra.” You asked him what he was doing there, waiting for something like ‘im waiting for Mina to get back’ but instead he tells you that he was the one to bring you and couldn't let some extras take care of you, because they could kill you. Then you hear a scream from the hall. “HE LIKES YOU!” Denki’s voice made you look at Bakugo, and he was more red than Kirishima's hair. “That extra is right.”

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? 

HERE

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Dumbass, Extra and Love when you're alone.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He's in space. Everyone notices the way he looks at you, and the way his frown almost fade when you're in the room.

He shows he loves you by giving you a very small smile. Holds your hand and kisses you on your head.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Bakugo ADORES TO SHOW YOU OFF. He’s always saying to Sero how hot you are and how you scream even louder than him. Katsuki is always touching you, holding your hand, holding you by your waist, etc. 

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

He likes to cook, he’s always calling you to taste some new recipe and always make sure you eat.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

I’m sorry to say this but he's not that romantic. If he acts romantic it’s cliché, something he saw in a movie you two watched or something like that.He does whatever it takes to make you happy.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He’s your number one supporter. He wants you to be successful just like him. He helps you study and he’s always say he believes in you.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Bakugo likes to have a routine, but for you he's willing to go to bed at 9pm.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He knows like the palm of his hand, and he never fails to notice what is bothering you. He’s empathic, because he wants you to be happy always. 

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Your relationship is on top of his priorities, along with him becoming the number one hero.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon. 

He sleeps like a star and when you sleep with him you sleep on top of him.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

When you're alone he showers you in love, he prefers to kiss you, but he still loves cuddling with you.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

He is SO moody. He can't stand being away from you from more than three hours, but he needs to keep his bad guy look so he nevers shows it. But when you come back he’s showering you with love and kissing you.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He’s willing to give up he’s dream of being the number one hero, just for you.

[jello-fello]

For the ask meme- yes. The whole fucking alphabet. Any fandom of your choice for any of them -kipp

LMAO THE WHOLE THING? THIS SHOULDNT BE ALLOWED-

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

Honestly besides the Constant love for Mell and Kai, Ash and Eiji from banana fish, and Reki and Langa and Joe and Cherry from sk8 right now. Also i like Lawlight from specifically the 2015 death note tv drama. OH. AND ALSO. SEKI AND SHIMIZU FROM OYASUMI PUNPUN I LOVE THEM

(Side note ngl Detective Roberts and His Ex-Wife are v nice together i like them)

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

Ellspen from Self Aware. LIKE LISTEN. I KNOW I WRITE THE THING. BUT I NEVER CONSIDERED THAT UNTIL READERS STARTED SHIPPING IT

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Uhhh idk I never thought about it. Ig i’m not really a fan of Aizawa/All Might? that’s the first ship to come to mind. oh and also Hawks/Endeavor. not my cup o tea, never will be

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

Any ship with Tanaka from haikyuu that Isnt him and kiyoko. like art of him and enoshita or him and noya are Cute, but i just dont ship it

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

Does writing “Regenerate, Fate” count

I also have Goose Yagami meme and the yelling cat meme but it’s death note

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

BNHA fandom has been since... november 2017ish

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

.........................................................................Klance.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

(ngl i dunno what this Means so sorry if my answer doesn’t make sense but-) I really like anime and animation, but also i really like comics and manga, more so now that im Making a comic

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

I don’t think tumblr’s ever stopped making me like a fandom, but just like. stop going in tumblr’s tag for it. for example 15ish year old me was NOT ready to see the things in the undertale tag that i did. oh god the horrors.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

i dont think tumblrs ever led me to starting a show/getting into a fandom, but pinterest has. most of my fandoms have been through seeing random things on pinterest ngl

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

Vigilantedekus is The Best and I Love Them

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

Matsuda from death note might’ve been played as the “Funny because he keeps fuckin up” kinda chara, but i do like that he was the one to shoot light and that he had that kind of outburst about light’s dad. BUT ALSO MATSUDA’S THEORY IN THE END OF THE MANGA? RIGHTS.

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

i dont have anything specific in mind, but all fandoms have DOPE artists

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

head empty no thoughts

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

Right now “The mind electric” reminds me of Jamie from SA, “Butterfly’s Repose” reminds me of Mell And Kai

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

uh uh uh uh Self Aware but without Aviancorp. That’s the only difference. The au is just what kind of ripple effect it would have on everyone and their lives

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

nothing’s coming to mind

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

Sobs. Seki and Shimizu from Goodnight Punpun. I only say them for this because theres So Little People who know them

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Athen (my oc, Choosing(02)) wants to see hatsune miku because he uses a voicebank to speak and “! she sounds like me!” 

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

I’m going to do these with my OCs instead. because while im the author, they’re headcanons because most of them i cant Really make canon: 

Athen has a mothman pajama set. He and adam have matching “Humanfucker”/”Robofucker” shirts

athen Has seriously wondered if adam would leave him for mothman

athen gets a pet roomba named Hal

Jamie would be a good parent

Sam (one of the dead kids from Subject 402/SA-) would’ve been a soccer player if she lived

Letho (the Other dead kid) would’ve been an art student

if jordan(Kai) had a Normal Life and WASNT a human experiment, he wouldnt be very accomplished in school despite being a genius, he’d be kinda a delinquent and getting in trouble a lot

If mell had a younger sibling, people would probably think HE’S the youngest one. they would not believe he were older if they were close in age

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

Mob from Mob psycho

L and Light are tied

Aizawa and Shinsou and Deku are top faves ig

ash and eiji from banana fish. love them. AND SHORTER> LOVE HIM

i like punpun as a character but if i had the chance i would prolly throw hands

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

Mell and Kai - Self Aware

Shindeku OR tododeku - bnha

(Letho and (Redacted)) - Self Aware (but like. the au if letho Lived)

Ash and Eiji - Banana Fish

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

I think we all know my fave ships from this post so far. no need to do this question lmao

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

MOB. WOULD KILL FOR HIM BUT I KNOW HE WOULD BE :( AT ME FOR IT

ngl there aren’t many Precious Babies. like I’d say Hinata is a precious baby but haikyuu ends when he’s like fuckin 30 so what counts as a precious baby hmmm

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

my dash gets so much TMA

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

this post is long enough,,,

[radramblog]

Rating the letters of the alphabet

I feel like part of my style of comedy is just rambling about shit and making loose connections between things as part of an overall bit. I think. I’m no expert on myself, unfortunately.

The inspiration for the following absolute load of shite is trying to search Tiermaker for nothing. Like, no characters in the search bar. Didn’t come up with anything. Did a search for just a space. No dice. What about just a? Surely that’ll bring up everything with an A in the title. But it didn’t, and I was somewhat disappointed.

Then my head started writing bits about letters and that’s how we got here. This is probably really stupid, but maybe it’ll at least be fun. Wordplay is cool, though maybe not my strong suit? Anyway.

A: A is one of the two letters that’s also just a word, as you’ve just seen, giving it a necessary promotion in rank. Not a lot of things get to double up like that, though with the “an” ligature maybe it’s actually a double or nothing. But because of the confusing common connection crossing contexts for the character, it gets somewhat awkward to talk about the letter in conversation. An A, in my opinion, A does not get. 4/5.

B: B is also just a word letter but unlike A when you write it out you have to stick a few extra letters on to make it work, making it not as good. But B’s association with bees isn’t enough, because in the year of our lord, like, 2019 or something, it would become inextrixably linked with shite memes as the B emoji became king. And I just don’t respect that. It’s otherwise a fine letter, dragged down by its company. 2/5.

C: Oh come on now, the word doesn’t even have a C in it anymore! You can sea the see without any of our tertiary letter’s involvement whatsoever. Not to mention how its two main sounds are just copies from other letters wholesale. C must be confusing to non-english speakers, I’d imagine. C as a grade gets what C as a grade typically entails for many a schoolchild. 3/5.

D: It would be remiss of me not to give a sterling grade to the D. Why, none of us would be here without it. While many a youth may find the D to be quite a humourous subject, I assure you I’m taking it with the gravest of sincerity when I say the D has got to be one of the best letters of all.

And by D I mean deity, of course. Wait, what did you think I meant? 5/5.

E: The absolute absurdity that is the E meme elevates E efficiently enough to excel beyond many another vowel. However, it is also the single most common letter in the English language, going so far as to open the damn name. It’s to the point where someone made a point of writing an entire book without using it, and I think Gadsby is cool but mayhaps avoiding fifth uncial was a bit showy. I can’t help but mark it down for the sake of hipster cred. 3/5.

F: F is for Fuck. I like the word Fuck. F is for paying respects. I think the military-industrial complex has poisoned our cultural landscape to the point that a reference to one of its most prized productions’ awkward moments has become one of the most colloquially used meme letters in existence, And That’s Terrible. 3/5, I’m conflicted.

G: Man literally who the fuck cares about G. What is it even good for. Just an absolute waste of a letter, total shithouse. It’s NATO equivalent is Golf, the Worst Sport, too. Who asked for any of this? Just use a J instead, it’s cooler. 1/5.

H: I’ve seen “Hhh” used enough times in written forms of pornography to not consider it a Horny Letter. That and it, being short for Hentai, is often used to denote adult material in Japan. Basically what im saying is, I think this gets worse the less sex-positive you are. 6/9.

I: I think I’ve said enough about letter words already, but I is another high-tier one because like A I is just it’s own thing. It can also, however, be a bit confusing, looking just like an l a lot of the time, and having to constantly capitalise it is a pain in the ass. I also don’t have a particularly high opinion of myself, so a high opinion of I seems disingenuous. 3/5.

J: Clearly the best letter, hands down. I’m definitely not biased. There are so few letters as underappreciated by J- a fact many a person who’s had to do that “assign yourself an alliterative adjective” icebreaker game has had to reckon with. Because it appears to be a lot more popular with names than with words, and that just kind of sucks. 6/5.

K: K has in some circles managed to bump off its partner to become yet another letter word, though in a very informal abbreviated sense. However, when you’re looking into scientific fields, eventually said partner returns, having lost some weight on the trip down to absolute zero. This all makes complete sense in my head, and I’m sure is a lot less funny to anyone who doesn’t live there. 4/5.

L: I’d argue that L doesn’t cop its namesake. It’s a really useful letter, loads of words use it, especially in pairs, and my ADHD-brain thought it was fun to just say LLLLLLLLLLL for a bit while I was thinking about this so I guess that’s staying in now. Put me down as an L Lobbyist. 4/5.

M: Mmmmmm. M&Ms. But also it’s kind of a pain to write. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. 3/5.

N: I’d like to fight whoever decided we should have two letters that sound so similar right bloody next to each other in the alphabet. Actually, who the fuck even decided the alphabet’s order to begin with? Maybe it should go M to N, that’ll bloody show you. 2/5.

O: Our fourth vowel, and perhaps one of the underappreciated ones. O is similarly a letter word, but a much more common one considering its use as an interjection. It’s also one half of a very powerful letter combo, as we’ll see. 4/5.

P: There’s the other half. Many a joke involves OP as a phrase, whether it mean overpowered or original poster, and the letters’ adjacency is a lovely bit of serendipity. Whenever I say P out loud, on its own, I have to resist the urge to do some incredibly shitty beatboxing, which may or may not be a good sign. 4/5.

Q: I was going to write some very harsh words about Q, and its dependency on U, but then I realised that that is probably hate speech against the disabled. It still sucks, though. 0/5.

R: R is the one I am most struggling to think of things to say about. R is another letter that’s just kinda there. I’m sure the Roberts and Rachels of the world would disagree with me, though. It’s also the name of a program that I know has traumatised a lot of young biologist wannabes, slapping us with a whole pile of maths and statistics when we just wanted to look at cool plants and shit. Or in my case, cool cells and shit. 2/5.

S: The most overrated consonant, but also the thing that makes plurals not a pain in the ass. However I’m going to lean towards giving S a positive rating, if only because it’s associated with snakesssss (and serpentine characters who can talk) and I like those. 3/5.

T: I don’t think T gets enough credit as one of the pillars of the English language. A lot of very common words feature it, and yet it feels like it never gets the same level of credit as big shots like S or half of the vowels. T is like the character actor of the alphabet, is basically what I’m saying. 4/5.

U: Ah, the letter Americans hate for some reason. I think this is actually commentary on the history of American politics. Because throughout history, America has been extremely selfish and self-centered, while attempting to present a positive image that people are finally seeing past. They only entered WWI and WWII when it was convenient for them, they started wars and initiated coups in even their allies for petty ideological reasons, and they’ve gone to war with several countries and funded wars with several others seeming just for shits and giggles. Because apparently if you’re not an American, then you’re not one of them, and that means they hate U. 4/5.

V: I actually think V is underrated. It’s a fun sound. That’s it, no joke here. It’s neat, I like it. 4/5.

W: This may come as a shock to you, but double-u over here is actually two Vs! unless you’re writing in cursive, but fuck cursive. The French actually have it right on this one, naming it double-v (pronounced doobleh-vay). Add in the fact that it’s literally just M upside down, and you’ve got a pretty shite letter. 1/5.

X: There’s a reason literally every “A is for Apple” thing you see made for kids uses Xylophone for X, and that’s because there are no commonly used words that start with it. Seriously, it’s all just scientific terms- I’d argue X-Ray is more common than Xylophone in common parlance, but also, who wants to explain imaging to a kid. It doesn’t even get a second page of words on Dictionary.com. X also has implications as a letter word, that I’d rather avoid at the moment. 2/5.

Y: Ah, Ygreck, everyone’s favourite “what the fuck, France?” moment. Between that and being sorta kinda not really a vowel, Y prompts its own question more often than I’d care to admit. 2/5.

Z: As a (technical) member of the generation associated with this letter- on the one hand, I’m sorry, on the other, y’all have it coming. The final letter of the alphabet, one of the other ones worth 10 in scrabble (and yet X isn’t???), and one we probably got pretty sick of in the early 00s when it was everywhere- ironically, when most of the generation was getting born. 2/5.

And that’s the lot of them. I hope this didn’t alienate any non-English speakers too hard. It’s probably fine.

Join me for more bullshit next time I have another stupid idea. I mean, tomorrow.

[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

The Leppard Albums: A Summary

(inspired by Every Beatles Album)

Happy Saturday night everyone

The Def Leppard EP

Joe is 19 and just wants to ride a motorcycle okay

Groupie fantasy

Zeppelin lyrics meet Rush with an underappreciated bass line

On Though the Night

IT'S!!! ROCK!!! N ROLL!!! BABEY!!!

Joe is 20 and just really doesn't wanna work in a factory anymore okay

pls D; girl D; stop D; hiding D; your D; pain!!

another... groupie fantasy... I think? ...???

Leppard in Space

Joe is 20 and just wants to write something edgy okay leave him alone

STEVE 👏👏👏 FUCKING 👏👏👏 CLARK!!!! 👏👏🔥👏🔥👏👌👌

the original groupie fantasy but it's been re-recorded

girl?? make up?? your mind???

let's be mysteriously edgy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Zeppelin lyrics meets Rush but it's been re-recorded (but don't worry they still kept the underappreciated bass line)

High N Dry

everyone in this band is a slutty bottom and this is the song that proves it

we have Mutt Lange now and this is the song that proves it

drONK TIEM

betcha didn't think we could write a ballad, did ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

STÊVË!!!!! 👏👏👏👏 FÜCKÎÑ!!!!!! 👏👏👏👏👏 C L Ã R K!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥👏👌👌🤙👏👌🔥👌🎉🎉

underappreciated and that's all there is to it

noooo don't go you're too mysterious and sexy hahhaha

oh god Dx oh god no Dx we don't sound like this anymore we swear Dx

betcha thought we stopped writing Beowulf-esque pop songs didn't ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

🚫🚫⛔👎🚫🙅‍♂️👎🚫⛔🙅‍♂️⛔ *Joe tearing his throat up for 2 solid minutes*

Pyromania

IT'S ROCK!!!!!! N ROLL!!!! BABEY!!!!!!!1!!!!1!!1!! AGAIN!!!!! 😆😆😆

the Classic Rock Fandom™ in a nutshell 😓

INTRODUCING PHIL 👌👌👌 FUCKING👏👏 COLLEN 🔥🔥🔥

betcha thought we abandoned the idea of doing a ballad didn't ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Joe's back at it again with the edgy songs and is getting a lot better at it too

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ∆ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Gunter 🙃 Glieben 🙃 Glauchen 🙃 Globen

the most underappreciated song on this whole entire fucking list sorry I don't make the rules

Alright, WHO in this band wants to be in a porno >:C

Joe's back at it yet again with the edgy songs but it's even BETTER this time

Hysteria

Girls Girls Girls ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS ANAKIN

🎸we!!! fucking!!! love!!!! glam rock!!!!!! and african drum rhythms!!!!!!!!!🥁

we're not furries we swear we're just kinky D: also fuck you DJs here's some false endings

we haven't made a ballad that HURTS yet so here we go (with an underappreciated bass line)

the song that invented "( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" (AKA when you cram for a test the minute before and end up getting 100%)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)😏( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)😏( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

S T E V E 😭👏👏 F U C K I N 😭😭😭 C L A R K 👏👏👏😭👏😭

nooo don't shoot me you're too kinky hahaha

a song about rioting and being #punk, but the only crime the man singing it has ever committed was getting a speeding ticket when he was 19/20

oh. oh shit. oh god. holy shi- I can't believe... ...we just accidentally made the most perfect song to ever exist :o like seriously- people are achieving nirvana as we speak I'm not joking I think we went too far with the perfection this time guys

THIS SONG IS ABOUT S E X AND WE AIN'T BEING SHY ABOUT IT EITHER LET'S FUCKIN GO BABE-

Don't 👏 give 👏 me 👏 love 👏

Adrenalize

gkKLglldlflhlADKSLALLFLSS 😆😆😆

I fucking love my wife uWu

fkKMglgllsLLslgflephpGLDLPT 😆(͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)😆

We're just gonna get extremely romantic and passionate for 4 minutes and 3 seconds if that's alright with you (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

this album was the most painful thing any of us have ever had to do, so here's the most serious song we've ever done to date. Steve ✊ Fucking ✊ Clark ✊ -n-

now that our mental breakdown is over, we're gonna get extremely passionate and romantic again but for a lil longer this time aiight 🤙

one of us has a protection/ownership kink but we're not gonna tell you who

you know what this album needs? a little bit more pain

we're layin down the line (and by that we mean we want sex)

we're layin down the line pt.2 (we still want sex btw)

Retro Active

Beowulf songs are back babey 🤙

I'll say that again if I have to^

we!!! still!!! fucking!!! love!!!! glam rock!!!!! we even covered something to prove it!!!!!!

Joe has now officially mastered ballads

I fucking love my wife part 2: she's a badass top

While Joe was off mastering ballads, Phil studied the blade

We covered something else bc again!!! we fucking!!! love!!! glam!!!

We rewrote Joe's motorcycle song bc we now realize it was cringe af (and it was an excuse for Joe to talk to Ian Hunter so that made him happy)

Joe has now officially mastered edgy/serious songs

it's a total bop but oh god. No. Please. No. Oh God. No. Don't. Please. No. Pls. No. Oh god. Don't.

This should've been on Adrenalize and you can Fight Me On That

Phil studies the blade (electric version)

Joe masters ballads (electric version)

Vault (there's only one new song on here so that's all I'm doing)

babe nooooo D';

Slang

Epic edgelords part 1

Epic edgelords part 2: Phil wrote it this time

everyone in this band is a slutty bottom and this is the song that proves it Volume 2: Electric Bugaloo

soft breakdown :'c

hOT DOGGITY DAMN JOE'S VOICE HOLY HELL TAKE ME N- *clears throat* I mean introducing Vivian Campbell :3 aND THERE'S A BASS SOLO MMMM 🤤🤤👌 THIS SONG IS JUST SEXY FUCKIN LIFT ME UP AND-

Phil's marriage isn't going too well

in fact, no one's marriages are going too well

severely underrated bop

We're still not over Steve's death and we never will be :c

Joe makes edgy ballads his bitch yet again 👏👏

severely underrated banger 🔥🔥🔥

Euphoria

wE STILL MAKE FAST BOPS IN CASE YOU FORGOT 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘

Holy shit I didn't know Joe could hit a note that high

The 90s sucked for us but we'rE STILL HERE BICH 🖕

Can we pls give Sav more songwriting space on albums thx 😭💗

everyone in this band is a slutty bottom and this is the song that proves it Volume 3: Even Sluttier This Time 😏

totally different from everything we've ever done and WE 👏 MADE IT 👏 OUR 👏 EDGY 👏 BITCH

uwu but it's sad so it's actually umu

partying like it's 1999- oh wait, it actually is 1999

*hugs Viv and scREEEEEEEEAAAMMS*

Phil studied the blade and attacks you with it

*gets escorted into the back of a police car* IM GUILTY!! I'M GUILTY!!! I'M NOT INNOCENT!!! 😫😫😫

whatever edginess we couldn't fit into Paper Sun we put into this song instead

we're entering the new millennium as Kings and there's nothing you can do about it 👑🖕

X (Ten)

Stand on a balcony at sunset when you listen to this one

(insert Vizzini saying "INCONCEIVABLE" here)

the big UwU

I got ghosted and it’s actually a lot more dark and depressing than I thought also I wish I was never awake

soft and edgy and sad acoustic dads

F-U-C-K SPELLS F- I mean L-O-V-E spells love uWu

babe nOOOooO I'm sorry I suck so much DD;

this sounds like out if Work It Out and Day After Day had a kid

we're gonna have a Funky Good Time whether you like it or not 😎

E D G E L O R D S 2 0 0 2

we can't decide if we want this album to be edgy or uwu so we're gonna make it both

the same passion as Tonight but less sexy and more (you guessed it) uwu

E D G E L O R D S 2 0 0 2 P A R T 2

Betcha thought our emo phase was over didn't ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yeah!

bops have been and will ALWAYS be something we have mastered- even if the song we're playing isn't ours

SAV'S TIME TO SHINE

betcha thought we couldn't cover a Blondie song, did ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Phil's just getting nostalgic about London it's fine 👍

don't worry joe's still sCREAMIN

in which we make this song a million times better than the original

WE LOVE ROXY MUSIC SO MUCH WE CANTEXPLAINWEJUSTLOVEHEMRMFLGPHPH

we're letting Joe have his moment ok just let him have this 👨‍🎤

yeah we like Free- so whAT??

okay NOW we're letting Joe have his real moment- he's been waiting for this moment ever since he was like 12 okay just. let him. have this just. this one time. pls.

in which we confuse literally everyone by making them think this is a song that we wrote

we just need ONE more bop, okay? Just ONE more we swear then we'll stop being fanboys (for now...)

we'll be right back, it's Bow Down To Thin Lizzy Hour

*Phil tearing up his throat for 4 and a half solid minutes*

Songs From The Sparkle Lounge

this one's actually kinda dark and heavy? :o

honky tonk time 🤠🤙

FINALLY ONE OF SAV'S SONGS IS THE MOST POPULAR SONG OFF AN ALBUM 🙏🙏🙏🙏😩

FINALLY WE HAVE MORE SAV MATERIAL I LOVE IT SM ;∆; !!!!

Phil's songs are severely underrated tho pls give them more attention

it's time for one (1) badass religious song and if you don't like it then you can Fuck Off kindly 🙃

This whole album is "Songs That Were Written By Phil and Viv and Sav" heaven

I think sometimes people forget that we, even as a band, are fans of the Classic Rock Fandom™ too, and we feel the same pain as the other fans :'^)🤙

Joe's three minutes of fame on this album

Joe's three minutes of fame on this album part 2

Viv's songs are severely underrated tho pls give them more attention

Mirror Ball (bonus tracks)

we grabbed fate by the balls and screamed fUCK YOU 🖕🖕

We are still Kings™ in case anyone was wondering 👑🖕

✨PHIL BELIEVES!!!! IN!!!!! LOVE!!!!!!!! AND!!!!!!!!!! BELIEVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!✨

Def Leppard (Self Titled 2015)

Is this song about playing a live show? Probably. Is it also about having a fight? Is it also about angry sex? The world may never know.

Okay this one just absolutely SLAPS, periodt.

bootleg Another One Bites The Dust

*SOBBING* THEY'RE ALL SINGING LEAD I'M-

being badass, That's The Power Of Love

don't worry, we still know how to be Poetically Edgy

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm *bump bump* hooked on a feeeeling

I've Got a Spiritual Romantic Boner

Can't Keep Away From The Flame edginess gets crossed with some Zeppelin charm and badassery

someone in this band is fucking piSSED 😠😠😠😠

we're gonna @ someone tonight fellas

sAV OH MY GOD BABYYYYY 😰😰😭😭😭😭 DO YOU NEED A HUG

what if we tried to cross newer Metallica with Nickelback 🤔

what if we turned this into We All Need Christmas three years from now... 🤔

Bonus: Personal Jesus/We All Need Christmas

Viv really wanted to cover ABBA but everyone said no so he settled for cowboy goth™ instead

What better man to write a warm and fuzzy Christmas song than the warm and fuzziest man alive (Sav)

[chicago-reeed]

Detroit Evolution

So

These are some notes that I took while I watched DE for the first time. It’s a lot. Like, six pages, a lot. I decided I should probably spare everyone’s dashboards and put it under a cut.

Warning: overuse of the fuck word because I am a dramatic little shit who gets overwhelmed easily

- Alright here we go. I don’t know if I’m mentally prepared to go through this hhhhh

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY I NUT

- fuck he smellin the flowers good

- “hey tin can :P” “good morning gavin :P”

- I’m actually fucking crying IVE HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMES JUST TO BREATHE AND IM ONLY AT 1:25

- FUCK ITS 1:27 AND HES FIXING HIS COLLAR HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS WHEN MY VISION IS BLURRY WITH TEARS

- “I don’t need to breathe” BAZINGA

- *slaps my face repeatedly* keep it together bitch

- “I like the way you look<3” aaaaaaaaannd here I go again

- HAHAHA HE WAS DAYDREAMING SAME NINES SAME

- oh god oh god witty banter WITTY BANTER I CANT FUNCTION

- C H R I S  IM SCREAMING

- detective motha fuckin chris I don’t need to see any more I got what I came for

- Honestly all they need to do to calm down the protestors is get nines out there so he can say “please stop you’re being very mean >:/“ and they would probably just go home ngl

- “I’ve never been intimidated by people who hate androids” OH MY GOD NINES WITH THE BAZINGA’S TODAY WHAT A LEGEND

- can I just say the white jacket is such a power move I can’t believe nines invented fashion

- Gavin bein soft and reaching back for Nines in the crowd🥺homygod

- Gavin “no one calls him plastic but ME” Reed

- The only time I will support police brutality™️

- Gavin is so OP we stan

- Nines “you raise a fist, then I get PISSED😡” RK900

- “y’all have a nice day” Protect Detective Chris Miller at all costs

- Nines sees Gavin’s scars as charming PUT ME TO DEATH

- ADA OH LORD SHES STUNNING IM SOBBING

- Okay I need to pause and breathe again the cinematography got me chokin

- Uh ooohhh someone is jeeaaalouus😛

- Nines really said “no worry fam I’ll airdrop the case files to u”

- Ada: *exists*

- me: I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

- HA GAV DEFINITELY JEALOUS RIP

- And nines back at it again with the sass I AM LIVING

- Chris and Gavin’s reactions to Nines imitating Ada is the best thing I’ve seen all year

- “I can do your voice too” HIS FACE IMDBDHDJKDJD CRYIGGGSBSN

- oh ;-; shit Michael really finna make me cri

- God damn the intro credits are so beautiful

- TINAAAAAAA BABYYYYY

- Real coffee hours with the sharktreuse mug🦈

- “our boy” SHIT IM CRYING AGAIN

- Tina knows Gavin was absolutely feral before Nines appeared at the DPD

- Half An Asshole squad please stand up we ride at dawn

- Gavin with the knockoff timbs WE STAN😎

- maybe “thank god, I hate you, you love me, move your feet, oop” will be our always

- I’m living for the whole “criminal minds” vibe goin on here

- Bruh Gavin got the hook-ups fr fr

- ❤️WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER W❤️

- The level of reed900 is staggering

- I’ve had to pause and breathe so many times it’s pathetic I’m not even 15 mins in

- GAVIN SAID mwah<3🖕IM FUCKING DIED

- 850% godt damn Nines got that IOS 50 update

- NINES PUT CHRIS’ PROMOTION PARTY IN THE CALENDAR WHAT A GOOD DAD

- maybe “our calendar” will be our always

- Chris “wingman of the year” Miller

- Who’s that Pokémon??? It’s JEALOUS GAV

- The way Nines said “I don’t feel anything for her.” I see you bud

- insecure Gavin needing reassurance™️

- Im fucking dying I fucking died bro BRO WE ALL KNOW WHO YOURE TALKING ABOUT, NINES, WE ALL KNOW

- Asexual Nines FTW👊😤👏👏👏❤️He gives zero fucks of ANY kind

- AN ANGEL HAS APPEARED WITH A GLOWY BLUE SCARF

- BREAKING NEWS: affection-starved Gavin™️ is literally begging for love

- GAVIN REED STOP BEING MEAN TO GAVIN REED OR ELSE

- “But there’s much more to admire about you than to detest, I think.”<333

- JJ not being suspicious at all nope no way Jose

- Lazzo has said two words and I love him already

- I don’t think I’ve seen this episode of COPS before🤔🤔🤔

- We all know Nines secretly wants to wear those fun glasses

- “Officer I swear I’ve never seen that arm in my life, it’s my friend’s he just asked me to hold it for him, Android arm what android arm heh”

- “Like robot arms, not gun arms.” You’re doing great sweetie🥰

- HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH H

- Chris “the interrogator” Miller😎

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

- soft n sleepy gav™️ is soft n sleepy

- FUCKING SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT IVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT GAV IN A SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT FOR SO LONG AND NOW IT’S REAL IM

- You can wear my😋😘sweeaatshiiiirt😝😁🤗 (I’m sorry I had to)

- inconspicuous loving glances™️

- #GiveAndroidsFuckinHealthcare2K20

- AAAHHHHHHHH I CANTT BREAF

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- INCONSPICUOUS LOVING GLANCES™️

- Gavin has not slept in 80 years

- He really said “I’m fine” BITCH

- Bed time for brats™️ no later than 8:30pm

- hell yeah sleepover time

- “stop lookin at my insides n shit” I want that on a t shirt

- ANDROID DREAMS

- Nines is so soft I might die

- But he’s somehow equally suave as fuck how is this fair

- Oh my god dream!gavin is like Nines’ conscious this is so presh

- “What do you think Gavin was gonna say?” nsndJSKDOFIWKDBDNDNSJDBBDJDJDJDNDJXJNDIFUIFIEKWN HES STILL THINKING ABOUT THEIR CONVO

- dream!gavin you sly dog

- “To have this. Out there.” DONT FUCK WITH MY HEART LIKE THAT THIS INNER-MONOLOGUE FLUFF IS SO SWEET

- Nines being insecure™️

- Listen to dream!gavin, Nines, he has big brain

- The fact that Nines subconsciously KNOWS that irl!Gav “just wants someone that doesn’t hate him” but he’s STILL like alas, I can never be what gavin needs :’(

- nu babie don’t be sad🥺

- oh my god they’re both train wrecks protect them at all cost

- c r i p e s❤️the reed900 hurt/comfort we all needed

- FUCK

- Concerned boyfriends™️

- Maybe “I’m fine” will be our always

- GAV🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔💔💔💔

- Insecure boyfriends™️

- Nines “I’m not going to get any closer to Gavin because I can’t help him but also I want to cuddle with him because he had a nightmare” RK900

- did someone say  c a t

- dumb babie gav jus spoon the dumb android so you both feel better

- Me: *rubs evil hands together* aha here comes the angst

- cue tragic backstory

- oh

- tragic backstory indeed

- YES DAD!FOWLER WE LOVE

- Gavin is so desperate for anyone to care about him I’m crying tears

- SHIT IT’S CUDDLE TIME™️ NOW IM REALLY FUCKING CRYING

- Alexa this is so god damn sad play despacito

- YES

- HAND>HOLDING

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- NINES’ SKIN RETRACTING WHERE THEIR HANDS ARE TOUCHING THIS IS LIKE EVERY REED900 STAN’S DREAM COME TRUE

- Oh shit it’s about to get domestic I don’t think I’m mentally prepared

- YOU CAN WEAR MY😝💪SWEEAATSHIIIIIIRT🤪🔥🔥🔥 (I’m never letting the sleeveless sweatshirt thing go)

- Uh oh NO FUCK I’ve read enough fan fiction to know that this is where Gavin’s fucking trust issues kick in and he decides pushing nines away is safer than getting closer to him SHIT

- AND NINES GETS CONFUSED AND HURT

- AND THEN GAVIN GETS HURT

- I feel angst in this Chili’s tonight

- “I need you to leave” aaaaaaahhhhhhhh here come a whole different kind of tears

- frick dude that ouches

- Insert sad babie noises

- Oml the tension☠️poor Chris and Ada are like😑😑

- Chris could solve this case all by himself change my mind

- Gavin and Nines = (ò///-///ó)

- Chris = :D~oblivious~

- HELL YEAH PARTY TIME

- BEST WIVES TINA AND VALERIE AHHHH

- reed900 who??? I don’t know her. I only know ❤️valerina❤️

- I can’t believe Gavin and Nines invented angst

- I went and got blue gatorade just so I could pretend I was drinking thirium like Nines

- #DetectiveChen2K20

- real sad gavin hours

- Ruh roh Gavin bouta die from the ‘rona virus because rat man smokes hella

- CINEMATOGRAPHY CHEEEEECK HOLY SHIT

- my entire aesthetic in a single shot jfc

- Aaaaahhhh Nines trying to be a supportive bf just makes me ;-; [takes damage]

- HES ACCEPTED GAVIN AS MORE THAN A PARTNER🥺that, my friends, is what we call character development

- We stan the otp aggressively talking about their feelings

- “I’m not going anywhere.” FUCK™️

- SMOKE>FACE

- Aaaaand they’re back at square one. It’s cool it’s fine it’s all good we can work with this.

- Gavin: I don’t need you ò-ó

- Gavin: *immediately after Nines leaves* fuck ó-ò

- “It’s fine”™️

- I love Ada so much hhhhhh she said 🤨

- “Basic Instinct” TINA WITH THE HEAT OMG

- *nervous laugh* haha Ada sis maybe chill a little bit ha ha

- oh no I have a not good feeling

- ADA CHILL ADA CHILL

- WHY IS HE FOLLOWING HER INTO AN ALLEY AFTER THAT SKETCHY TALK

- AAA FUCK FUCK FUCJDJEMNSNDJDNXU FUCK I FUCKING KNEW IT FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK

- 😖x1000000

- Oh my god this is so fucking sad Alexa play The Sound of Silence

- Nines got fucked up and Gavin is CONCERNED

- aayyyyy bro Nines full on nakey

- Tina and Gavin sad bro huggin👊😔

- ADA HOW DARE YOU. HOW VERY DARE YOU.

- Uh oh Nines is fckn PISSED

- he MAD mad

- Tina speakin straight facts I love her

- WOOP GAVIN FINALLY ADMITTING HE NEEDS NINES

- f u c k  right in the heart

- I don’t want to attempt writing any notes at this moment because my thoughts are completely incoherent I am a MESS

- “I need you to come back, Nines.” DONT PLAY W ME LIKE THAT

- HAND HOLDING FTW

- Did Gavin really almost bring Nines back through the power of love I am SHAKING

- Dream!Gavin speaking truth as ALWAYS

- These damn flashbacks making me feel some type of way

- OH SHIT HE AWAKE

- that actually low key jump scared me

- God damn these sets are so fucking pro, I’m so happy

- REUNION

- Tina really say “Chris ;) ;) lets go get some ;) coffee ;) ;) ;) ;)”

- CHRIS’ REALIZATION FACE FUCKING LAID ME OUT I HAD TO PAUSE I WAS LAUGJINB SO HARD

- You Undead Asshole™️

- Gavin: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ ) fuck he actually heard me talk about my feelings n shit

- Nines: You literally told me you fucking needed me like five minutes ago

- Gavin: huh weird that doesn’t sound like me I actually hate you

- ooOOHHH  S H I T

- REALLY IS THIS REALLY HAPPENIGN

- woah shit sorry I blacked out for a second what happened

- MY POOR LITTLE FUCKING REED900 HEART IS EXPLODING AND IMPLODING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME

- CAAAAAAAAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIIIGGHTT

- holy shit I actually gave myself a bloody fucking nose because I smacked my face too hard in excitement

- ❤️💘🧡💞💕💘💓💚💛💘💞💓💛💛💞💘❤️💚💘💜💕💖❤️❤️💕💓💗💘💖💚💝❤️

- FUCK

- “What dipshit programmed you to do that?” 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️FUCK

- My aunt came in and told me she heard me shouting then asked why I was crying

- HAHA FUCKING CHRIS IS MEEEE

- shit I need to like..,,,,physically recover from that

- whew okay break time is over let’s fucking go

- Nines in the cheeky turtleneck I SEE U

- #DETECTIVECHEN2K20

- Gavin: I’m ready to take this hoe DOWN

- Initiate protocol: SAVE ADA FROM HERSELF

- I could listen to Tina talk to dispatch for hours🥰❤️❤️❤️

- WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE T

- Gavin being hella concerned boyfriend™️

- FIGHT SCENE™️

- omfg that crowbar really went *CLANG* when it hit Ada’s steel fkn abs what a legend💪😎

- Hell yeah epic Nines gif moment

- no Ada don’t choke Gavin it only makes him stronger

- CHRIS THE MOTHER FUCKIN GOAT😎👏👏👏he really said “fuck ur monologue I’m here to get shit done”

- ADA QUEEN YOURE OKAY SWEETIE

- That character development godt damn

- I might be reaching but Gavin is now wearing a white/off-white shirt/gray that kINDA RESEMBLES DREAM!GAVIN’S SHIRT. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. THATS SYMBOLISM IF I EVER DID SEE IT.

- “buyer’s remorse, huh?”

- “I can’t be everything you need.”

- That awkward moment when you realize the person you were hiding your feelings from has also been hiding their feelings from you.

- “a year of that fuckin’...Ken Doll face smirkin’ at me every day” BE CUTER GAVIN, I DARE YOU.

- naked hand = love

- CHEEKY BASTARDS

- FUCK FUCK FUCK ME

- THAT WAS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL

- So my review of this film could be summed up by saying that I basically cried for an hour and fifteen minutes.

- Holy damn

[this-account-is-a-mistake]

A R T I S T A P P R E C I A T I O N

y'all better show some fukin love cos these people are the most underrated people on here and the more support they get, the more motivation they have to do the art they enjoy.

this is a long post so im gonna do people with example art first then the rest will be done as a general. this may require multiple parts.

@masochist-greaser-boy

@emo-scooby-snack-loving-giant

@actually-its-lee @lee-not-garrison (sorry if i messed up with your tag i had a few tags down for yours)

@drowning-seahorse

@coquiintheclique

@out-there-artist

@drawndemonic (their normal account is @silvertongue-records )

@slimeyfrogsss

@cemeterysummoning is an Instagram art account (im so sorry i cant find our dms to see your account on here, if you see this dm me n ill edit your account in)

@234-paris

oh wait, its a 10 image post limit oops... im gonna do more parts but also here are some accounts that didn't send in art but also post art (if you can't find it on their accounts look at their art tags)

if any of you did send in art n i put you here, let me know and ill sort it for you :D

@artmaisie

@everyoneprotector

@rubindrawss

@wowimsogoddamnoriginal

@somethingfishysgoingon

@amorathegamingkitsune

@wielderoffairytales

@leo-arcana (they post on deviantart at deviantart.com/leoarcana )

@gaylettucewoman

@seance-down-below

@starky-blogs

@dragon-hair

@soupgromlin (they submitted art that will be shown on a later post)

@muser-dragon-writings (i cant find your main sorry)

@cthulhudonuts

oki, this is part 1 there are more for each part of this but please show these people some love!!!

sorry this has taken so long to get round to, i wanted to make sure everyone got chance to be mentioned but also i have several years of practice in the arts of procrastination and i been using them haha °-°

other parts:

part 2

[chbslove]

Teen Wolf as things i found in my groupchat

Liam: guyyyyyyys i have to tell u something reeeeeaaaaally important

Stiles, in the same minute: yea

Stiles: i'm here

Stiles: huh

Stiles: wow

Stiles: hello

Stiles: no?

Stiles: ok

Lydia: hey

Allison: hi 🍍

Lydia: nvm

Allison: why 🦘

Lydia: i wanted to ask u something but i remembered the answer to my question while i was typing

Kira: hey do u guys wanna meet up? :))

Lydia: bois

Lydia: boys

Lydia: whatever

Lydia: i'm shopping i can't

Scott: what the fuck

Stiles: bitch i'm cackling

Isaac: wtf is going on

Scott: i got a D- on my chemistry test

Scott: Stiles copied the whole thing off me and got an A

Isaac: now i'm cackling too

Cora: it's period time

Erica: what

Cora: cuz i'm bleeding

Cora: out of my vagina

Erica: does it hurt

Cora: yea

Erica: how much

Cora: QUAGHJGFGHJGHF

Liam: [random picture of his feet]

Kira: i really like your socks

Liam: ikr they're awesome

Allison: i'm hungry

Allison: but i just had sumn avocado

Lydia: aw girl now i want sumn avocado too

Malia, two hours later: i wanna eat a horse

Lydia, on vacation: theres a cannabis shop nexx 2 our hotel

Boyd: Are you already on some of that? Your grammar is weird

Lydia: u can buy hookahs hereeeee

Boyd: Lydia i'm sweating please tell me you aren't smoking cannabis

Kira: how du u politely insult someone

Malia: ur a humanly human

Boyd: that's not polite, that's the heaviest insult known to mankind

Lydia: guys i'm going shopping again what should i buy?

Stiles: b a t h b o m b s

Stiles: t o i l e t p a p e r p e r f u m e

Scott: what the heck is toilet paper perfume

Lydia: i need more ideas

Stiles: d e c o r a t i o n

Stiles: p e n s

Stiles: d e c o r a t i o n p e n s

Scott: Stiles what the FUCK are decoration pens

Stiles: i d k

Stiles: s o u n d s g o o d

Lydia: ok thx babe, please stop doing drugs and sleep instead, have a nice day

Stiles: t h x

Stiles: w i l l d o

Scott: something tells me u won't but alright

Scott: what did you get on your essays guys

Lydia: 98

Scott: what

Scott: how

Scott: Stiles you better have a low grade or else i'll kick u

Stiles: i have 105

Lydia: how in the fuck did you get a 105

Liam: what was your essay about

Lydia: we had to write an instructional essay about a mathematical concept we used this year

Lydia: preferably the quadratic formula

Stiles: i wrote 5 paragraphs on how to add single digit numbers

Stiles: 105 for creativity and accuracy

Lydia: youve gotta b kidding me rn

Stiles: i got the idea off a tumblr post

Lydia: i think im having a stroke

Erica: fuck off i don't wanna do school work in quarantine i've got enough to do already

Cora: wtf u doing we're literally quarantined

Erica: sleeping

Erica: bitch

Stiles at three am: W H AT 'S JE S U S C R IM I N AL R E CO RD

Derek: ffs stiles its 3 am go to sleep

Cora: why does my perfume have more curves than i do

Erica: why does the pineapple have more joy in life than i do

Stiles: why does everybody have more talents better mental health and prettier faces than i do

Liam: Stiles

Liam: are you ok?

Stiles: yeah totally anyways guys what are we doing today

Erica, completely out of nowhere: I HATE THIS FUCKING BITCH

Cora: big mood

Kira: hiii guys does anyone want to videochat?? :)

Allison: i have to take a shit later maybe

Kira: oh

Kira: ok

Erica: w h e e z e

Cora: guys i'm feeling down can anyone call me

Kira: yup hun i'm here

Allison: i'm pooping but alas

Cora: no Allison i don't want to talk to you while you're taking a shit

Cora: but thx

Allison: ... you're welcome

Kira: the smolest house in europe is 57 centimetres smol

Stiles: don't know where i'm gonna need this information but i'm pretty sure i will someday so thank u babe

Kira: uwu

Theo: fuck off how does charli damelio have 6 million likes on a tiktok of her drinking a slurpee and i can't even get thirty likes on a text post she's such a stupid whore

Stiles: thats because you're untalented, ugly and unsympathetic as fuck and nobody likes you

Stiles: including me

Stiles: get the fuck off our group chat you heinous jealous slug

Liam: slowclapinthedistance

Kira: guys what do you think of the drama bryce hall got into yesterday

Isaac: nothing

Scott: i'm a potato

Stiles: who the fuck is bryce hall

Kira:

Kira: the holy trinity

Derek: okay, so we're meeting at my house at two o'clock. possibly/most definitely without scott, because he's not reading or answering any texts.

Stiles, twenty minutes later: i found a wild scott ima drag its ass to dereks now

Theo: idk i don't feel good lately

Theo: like i'm just mentally not alright and i feel down all the time

Stiles: HAHHAHAHAHAHA

Stiles: I'M SORRY BUT THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT I READ ALL WEEK

Stiles: ssshhhh erica

Erica: what

Stiles: do u want crack

Derek: Stiles for fucks sake stop trying to get Erica to do drugs with you

Erica: yes

Derek: wait

Stiles: YES

Derek: NO FUCK

Scott: that's it

Scott: theo ima throw u out of our friend group u are toxic asf

Scott: stiles i'm gonna put you into therapy

Stiles: AHAHHAHHAHAHA LIKE I'M ANYWHERE NEAR RICH ENOUGH TO AFFORD THAT

Stiles: BITCH

Stiles: MY THERAPY IS CHEAP MARIHUANA

Liam: i'm gonna go to sleep now good night everyone

Theo: have nice dreams

Theo: about murder

Allison: i really want to go shopping anyone down??

Lydia: YES

Lydia: that's the spirit sis

[shy-marker-pliers]

High school AU thingamabob

Dark

17 year old senior

class president and is kinda high and mighty about it tbh

“yes i know student council can’t really make any changes without the input of the superintendent but IM THE PRESIDENT AND YOU’RE NOT SO SUCK MY DI-“

does sound/lights for all the shows the school puts on

dating wilford and no one knows how or why they’re together

had a deep as hell voice and a beard the second he hit puberty

takes every ethics/psychology class he can

wants to be a lawyer

that one kid that everyone fears but is actually kinda chill if not a little surly

wears a collared shirt and tie to school every day and would totally get made fun of for it if he wasn’t terrifying

listens to classical music unironically

“oh my god i’m so going to fail this test” *proceeds to get the highest grade in the class*

protector of the gays™️

person: *says something mean to a student because they’re lgbtq+*

Dark: *teleports in front of said student* omae wa mou shindeiru

Wilford

19 year old senior

Yes he still has the mustache

doesn’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks of him

deadass wore a dress to school after one of his friends got made fun of because she wore a suit to a school dance

b u f f a s h e l l

could bench press a teacher if he really tried

on the cheer team

“no i’m not wearing pants, this miniskirt makes my ass look great!”

everyone’s bodyguard

usually attracts a crowd of nervous underclassmen

has mild dyslexia

tol

gives his friends piggyback rides

president of the drama club

works hard enough in school to pass his classes but that’s pretty much it

sleeps in class

Bim

15 year old freshman

vice president of the drama club

wilfords shadow

first freshman to help run the drama club and shoves it in everyone’s face

shouts his gayness from the rooftops

secretly super insecure

loves plants and helps out in the schools greenhouse

named all of the plants but if you tell anyone he’ll stab you

gets mostly B’s and C’s

has mild ocd but not enough to affect him severely

talks like a game show host cause he thinks it makes him sound attractive

it doesn’t

Google(s)

16 year old juniors

identical quadruplets

they have to wear different colors every day or else no one knows which one is which

they’re called the googles because their backpacks match the colors of the chrome logo and they’re super smart

straight A 4.0 GPA students but Oliver has to try a little harder than his brothers

all of them are in the robotics team except for ollie

Blue works on programming and red and green are on the build team

Ollie is the sweetest day of sunshine to ever exist and everyone loves him

he’s basically adopted Eric as his lil bro

tutors people in the library every tuesday and thursday

the other googles disapprove of his relationship with bing but he makes ollie happy so they don’t do anything about it

they all work in a supermarket and they’re saving up for college

ollie wants to be a vet, red and green want to be engineers, and blue wants to be a web developer

Bing

17 year old junior

mostly A’s, a few B’s.

his full name is zachary bing but people call him bing because he’s always trying to one up the googles

dudebro

was pining after ollie for months before chase finally felt sorry for him and told ollie how he felt

they’re dating now and it’s adorable

so soft for his boyf

a really good skater and wins a lot of local competitions

doesn’t study but still gets p good grades

wears sunglasses all the time because he has light sensitivity

Has ADHD

s t r o n k

always challenges people to arm wrestle him

can sing really well and plays gitaur

shares a youtube channel with chase where they skate and to challenges and stuff

Dr. ipiler

18 year old senior

Everyone calls him doc because he helps the school nurse and takes every single biology and health class there is

all A’s

really wants to be a surgeon

best friends with Schneep

huge star trek/harry potter nerd (ravenclaw if you’re wondering)

almost always at schneep’s house studying or just chillin’

kind of a control freak

thinks he’s charismatic but he’s actually kinda annoying

but annoying in a funny way

has a pet ferret that he sneaks into school

feral

espresso and sugar flows through his veins

“i actually got a good sleep last night.” “oh really?” “yeah bro i got a whole half hour!”

super dark bags under his eyes

Host

17 year old junior

all A’s except for in gym class

he has eyes in this

his real name is Simon Charles Teller (there are specific meanings to those names btw look them up) but he’s called The Host because he does morning announcements every day.

has gold eyes and a lot of people find it unnerving

“hey i have a podcast you should totally listen to it”

nocturnal

spends all of his free time in the library

always reading in class but the teachers don’t really care bc his grades are good and he does his homework

wants to be an english/poetry teacher

crushing on the cute shy kid from his english class

doesn’t talk much but he’ll still be nice to you

that one kid who’s always correcting the teachers

Runs the D&D club (he’s the dungeon master)

Eric Derekson

16 year old junior

Mostly high B’s, a couple of A’s.

lives with his uncle mark after he ran away from his abusive dad and is living a happy life

the guy that always volunteers to take care of the class pets over the weekend

animals love him

has anxiety, mild paranoia and autism.

animals, harry potter, and pokémon are his hyperfixations.

he also really likes gardening

crushing big time on hostioli

spends his entire english class staring at him and blushing

is seriously considering joining D&D club just to be able to talk to him

he’s in the art club

wants to be a vet and maybe do some freelance art stuff on the side

Ollie keeps yelling at him to just ask host out already but he’s too nervous

my poor bb boi

Wears sweaters all the time

wears headphones to block out noise if it ever gets too loud at he goes into sensory overload

disaster bi

Yan

18 year old senior

gets C’s

non-binary

has a makeup tutorial channel on youtube and has a pretty decent following

That one weeb

dyes their hair a new color every week

also has a new crush every week

everyone knows who their newest victim is because they never stop watching them

draws anime or cute animals for every art class

wants to be a a fashion designer

does MMA

everyone kinda stears clear of them

writes their first initial along with their crush’s on every notebook they own

has gotten suspended for beating kids up on multiple occasions

doesn’t really have that many friends but they don’t mind

spends their lunches watching their crush

in the drama club and the art club

Randall Voorhees

18 year old senior

C’s and D’s

Eric’s cousin/bodyguard

they have a lot of the same classes and walk everywhere together

loves animals and has like 10 pet rats

he doesn’t really care about his grades because he knows that he wants to be a woodworker/construction guy

makes little houses out of scrap wood for his rats and Eric thinks it’s adorable

always sneaks his rats to school and lets them have play dates with dr. iplier’s ferret

“nO IM NOT RELATED TO JASON VOORHEES HES NOT EVEN REAL SO SHUT THE HELL UP-“

used to live in nyc in queens and still has a pretty strong accent

completely incomprehensible when he’s excited or angry bc of the accent

everyone is jealous of his hair

spends like 100 dollars on shampoo and conditioner and stuff but it’s worth it

acts like the straightest guy in existence but could not be more gay

his boots are always muddy

Yancy

16 year old sophomore

his name is Yancy Bird

g...get it? like jailbird? ahaha...ok i’ll stop

permanent resident of the detention room

but he gets to just chill out and read for an hour so he doesn’t really mind

mostly gets detention for beating up kids that bully others

fuck the system

always wears a leather jacket and blue jeans

“hey, the 50’s called and they want their-“ SMACK. “shut up.”

takes a lot of criminal justice and psychology classes ironically

in the botany club but if you tell anyone they’ll never find your body

everyone is surprised when they find out he’s friends with Eric and ollie

pan but in denial

“i’m not gay guys, that ain’t me, i’m just comfortable with my sexuality. so i can admit when i see a guy with a handsome face and pretty eyes-“

that song is great btw you should listen to it

anyway

always makes really dark jokes and everyone is like “are you ok?”

except for his friends they just laugh

“lmao wouldn’t it be funny if everyone like...died”

[princeazurathepathetic]

Broo this is my Sothismas gift for @illputaspellonyou ! the event was hosted and made possible by @patricia-von-arundel ty for making this possible! It’s complete fluff and shenanigans by one of my favourite idiot boyfriend duo: Casphardt. It was my first time writing them, and I had a blast. I love them. story under the cut!

“C'mon Linhardt, you can't keep scaring me like that.”

Caspar's voice was teasing but had an air of worry about it. His face showed the same emotion, Linhardt almost would have found it sweet, if he wasn’t very annoyed.

“Not everyone thrives off of battle like you do. I've told you a hundred times, I don't do too well near blood."

"Yeah, I know that. But do you have to faint like that? I almost couldn't save you this time. Almost…"

It was a picture perfect sunset in the middle of the forest in Dagda, one of the many countries Linhardt and Caspar had decided to go to when they opted to travel the world.

“Well I'm sorry. Maybe you could stop running into every fight that shows itself with no preparation like that. Then, I wouldn't have to follow you, and then faint."

"What!? That's ridiculous, if someone wants to go around picking fights, you have to take it, otherwise, they might go off and try to fight someone who can't, or doesn't want to."

"Like… Me?"

Caspar rolled his eyes, but didn't argue further because something caught his eye, he saunters off, leaving Linhardt to argue with nothing.

“Seriously, if you were not so brash and unruly, then maybe this whole 'traveling the world' thing would be more enjoyable, and-"

Linhardt trailed off, promptly realizing he was talking to thin air, and continued to look for where his troublesome boyfriend is, and continue his point that would most certainly lead nowhere. It's not that he wanted to argue with Capsar all the time, he just, didn't hate it. It was simply the nature of their relationship; Caspar would do something absolutely stupid, and then Linhardt would have to drag him out of it, and then they'd playfully argue, make up for arguing, have a sweet moment, and then the cycle restarted. 

“Hey, Lin?”

Linhardt was interrupted from his thinking. 

“You might wanna come see this, it's pretty cool.”

Linhardt stormed over to where the familiar voice was coming from, Caspar couldn't distract him from winning the argument forever. But Linhardt did not get to say the thing that would obviously have decimated Caspar in that ridiculous dispute. Instead he was rendered speechless, in front of him lay one of the most gorgeous landscapes he’d ever seen. 

They were standing at the edge of a cliff, overlooking a giant river valley, littered with those bioluminescent blue crystals Dagda was known for having, and it was sunset. It truly did look incredible, then again, Caspar was very good at finding beautiful scenery (surprisingly).

“Wow, this is… beautiful.”

Caspar looked surprised, he had wanted Linhardt to stop arguing so he could talk with him seriously, but this was fast. But whatever, it made what he was about to say easier.

“Yeah… Pretty cool, huh?”

Were his palms sweaty? They were sweaty, weren’t they? Linhardt probably noticed, and just wasn’t saying anything about it. The air was far too hot. Or was it just him? And that cliff was far too unsafe to do this, and GODDESS he just had to do it!

“Hey, uh, Lin?”

Linhardt was still very involved with the scenery, and wasn’t fully paying attention to his ridiculous but adorable boyfriend, which meant Caspar had to actually go out of his way to get his attention. He took a stick from the ground, and proceeded to poke Lin with it… Or at least he had meant it to be a poke, but since it almost knocked Linhardt over, he was going to guess it was a little more harsh. 

“What!? Must you really almost impale me on the end of a stick to get my attention!?”

“Whoops.”

Linhardt let out a dramatic sigh. 

“Well, you have my attention, what is it?”

“Well… you know how you’re, uh, dating me and stuff?”

“Yes. I do. And?”

Goddess, why did this have to be so awkward!? Of course he knew that he was dating him, he’s not an idiot!

“Yeah, and I was thinking that maybe we should stop being like that…”

“You’re breaking up with me? Why!?”

“No wait that’s not what I-

“What did I do!? Is it because of that silly argument earlier? If so that is hardly a reason to- to break up with me!”

“Lin, I’m not-!”

“I think you're being a bit unreasonable, Caspar.”

“LIN!”

“Seriously, I know I’m a bit new to being in a romantic relationship, but-”

He kept going, and he was obviously too busy spiraling that he wasn’t going to listen. Honestly, Caspar had never seen Linhardt so worked up before. Seeing the stick he had previously discarded, he promptly ‘poked’ Linhardt with it again. 

“Ow! Can you stop doing that!?”

“You weren’t listening to me. Listen to me this time!”

Linhardt rolled his eyes, but stayed silent. He just hoped that Caspar wasn’t about to break up with him, because then he wouldn’t even know what to do with himself. He didn’t say it that often, but he relied on Caspar, he needed him. So he hoped that this was just Caspar phrasing something stupid.

“What I wanted to say is that we should be, ya know, more than that… or something.”

“What? Speak normally.”

“Fine. LINHARDT WILL YOU MARRY ME PLEASE!?”

What? Had he heard correctly? Yes, it was impossible not to with Caspar practically screaming it into his ear. And sure enough, there he was, on one knee holding a ring in both hands, holding it like it was his last hope for all reality. It was actually almost comedic. 

Linhardt was slowly processing what exactly this meant, (which was odd because normally he processed things very fast). When it finally sank in, Linhardt was a mess of emotions almost immediately. He broke into tears, trying desperately to maintain his composure and failing pathetically.

“I can’t tell if this is a good thing or not. Are these tears of joy? Or tears of not-joy…”

“They’re tears o-of j-joy, you id-diot.” 

He couldn't get through a single sentence without stuttering and sobbing. It was embarrassing, but it was pretty much unavoidable.

“Sooo… That a yes?”

“Y-yeah.” 

His voice was shaky, and it didn’t help that Caspar swept him up in a bridal hold. (fitting) Linhardt screamed, he hated (loved) it when Caspar picked him up, it was very bothering, but he could barely talk so he decided to save the lecture for now. 

“WOOHOO! YEAH! I KNEW YOU’D SAY YES! HAHAHA!! THIS IS GREAT NOW YOU’RE GONNA BE MY HUSBAND! LET’S INVITE EVERYONE IT’LL BE THE BEST WEDDING EVER!”

“C-Caspar! Stop yelling-g!”

“I CAN’T I’M JUST TOO PUMPED FOR OUR WEDDING! WHEN SHOULD IT BE? I WANT IT TO BE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!”

“We c-can’t do it t-too s-soon. We have to plan-n.”

“WHY PLAN WHEN WE CAN GET MARRIED TOMORROW!?”

“T-Tomorrow!? That’s way too s-soon.”

“HOW ABOUT THE DAY AFTER INSTEAD!?”

“No. P-put me down r-right now, so I can slap some c-common sense into that b-beautiful face of yours-s.”

“AWW, LIN DID YOU JUST CALL ME BEAUTIFUL!?”

“I d-don’t know. I’m still in shock.”

“WELL STOP BEING IN SHOCK! WE HAVE A WEDDING TO PLAN!

“Whatever you s-say.”

Hope you like it! (and im really sorry if you didnt)