#(Now its 200+)
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Thinking about Logan forgetting that he IS infact gay sometimes. This man was born in the 1800s and has been in toxic masculine places for a very long time. Is the army pretty gay? Yes. But you aren't allowed to admit it or say it.
Logan: Why the fuck am I on the pride months staff member list? *shakes around paper*
Jubilee: *Blinks* ..... ??
Logan: *Crosses arms* Does it look like I'm gay!?
Jubilee: *slowly reaches for phone* Mr. Howlett Please come to the events organizer office
Logan: ?? Im right here.
Wade: *shows up* You called, Firefly? Oh hi pumpkin!
Jubilee: *Gestures to Wade* Is this not your husband?
Logan: And?
Wade: Ohhh is this about the thing in the closet? Look I swear I locked it!!
Jubilee: Im going to have Jean erase my memory of you ever saying that. Logan.... Is that your husband?
Logan: Yes??
Jubilee: Then you're gay.
Logan: No, im not!
Wade: YEAH!! He's bisexual.
Jubilee: Logan... Do you like men?
Logan: No! What do I look like a southern pansy?
Wade: YEA- wait.... what??
Wade and Jubilee: Should... should we tell him?
#whos gonna tell this 400 pound 200 year old man with knife hands that hes gay?#He said something so messed up even Wade got confused#“Logan. Wade is a man right?” “yeah...” “so you love men?” “No. why do you keep aksing that?”#🤦♂️#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#deadpool#wade wilson#deadpool 3#wolverine#jubilee#jubilation lee#finding home au#Logan “He dosnt know what the fuck is going on and its pissing him off” Howlett#“is this your wallet?” spongebob meme#this being said he's definitely not like this to anyone else. he personally just refuses to say it.#ngl sabor probably teased him too much about it and now hes insecure
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i actually really hate those posts where everyone is like "ough oigh i would have died in 1600 because of [reason]" like its annoying and its actually fucking sad how so many of you seem to view the past and the people in it. Autistic people in the past had full and happy lives. Jewish people in the past had full and happy lives. You would not have been "burned as a witch" for having adhd, you have a persecution complex thats deeply annoying and ahistorical. The lives of marginalised people in the past were not just strife and suffering and dying violently and frankly its offensive that yall keep trying to reduce it down to such. Why are you so obsessed with erasing the spectrum of human existence why are you so obsessed with erasing joy why are you so obsessed with denying the capacity for marginalised people to have been happy
#like STOP omg#also im sorry its weirdddd how yall want to have died in 1400 or whatever so bad#its like how now. youll see ppl without life threatening conditions have this complex where they wanna have smth that can kill them sooo ba#its very very weird#and again. more importantly its fucking offensive like why do you think a young jewish girl in medieval times could not possibly ...#...experience anything other than suffering. its fetishistic is what it is#ceci says stuff#rant#100#200#300
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first time giving a prompt
deaged!Danny (may include Dani, Dan and/or Jazz too if you like) given to Themyscira to be raised by Kronos (Clockwork). They were given a vague reason (they either might end the world or save it. kinda like the PJO Great Prophecy "to preserve or raze")
cause a boy/s is/are involved. They get sent to be raised by Diana instead
i just really want mom!Diana to happen
god I love mom!Diana so much! I need this woman to just pop up to the watchtower with her own baby and tell the others to fuck off cause, BATMAN HAS HIS BABIES I HAVE MINE!
Percy Jackson themes? Let's go!
Children of Diana - part 1
Kronos was always a mysterious and frightening figure in their stories. The father that devoured their children upon a prophecy of a throne to be taken by his child. Five had fallen into his stomach, Hestia of the hearth fell first, whilst Hades was the last to be eaten. Only by Rhea's cunning did their youngest, Zeus, survive his father's hunger and grow to be king.
But Kronos never truly stayed dead.
He was time embodied, moving with every universe, even as he melted away from their world and into another.
Hippolyta told her stories of Kronos, along with how she wished for a child and how her love for one allowed her to make Diana out of clay and give her blessing of goddesses to be a mother to a blessed daughter. Diana heard stories from her mother of everlasting Kronos who's name shifted with worlds, with his domain of time. How the titan has moved past from his children and embedded himself into the stars.
Diana heard of his stories but never in her lifetime did she expect to be met with that same Titan.
Her first instinct was to bow, to greet this almighty titan with the proper etiquette. But Kronos only smiled at her, snapping his fingers.
One moment Diana was Louvre, then next she was beside her mother in Themyscira.
"Diana!" Hippolyta blinked, bewildered to see her daughter before the atmosphere turned tense, cold.
Once again, the Amazons were graces—perhaps even cursed—with the Master of Time's presence.
"Kronos." Hippolyta sucked in a deep breath, her stance going rigid as she prepared to greet and attack their guest. "My lord..."
"Progeny of mine," Kronos wore a purple rone that shadowed his face, with a body that floated from the ground. In his hand was a peculiar staff with a glowing blue clock. "I have no trust in my children but... You Amazons are more sensible and responsible than my brats."
"Except for Hestia. I would trust her but she is too close to them for my liking." He drawled, startling Diana.
Hestia was the eldest of the traitors, the first to be eaten. She was still referred to as a traitor and yet there is evident fondness in Kronos' voice.
"Nevermind that." Kronos waved it off, "Pandora has claimed that you are trustworthy—" THE FIRST WOMAN PANDORA?! "So I shall trust you with this prophecy. Especially, Diana... Wonder Woman. You will prove essential to the fulfillment of this prophecy."
Diana's body stiffened, unable to help but grab her mother's hand. Blessed as she was, Hippolyta squeezed her daughter's hand, comforting and reassuring before they nodded and waited for the prophecy...
Kronos was smiling.
"From the death of youth, a monarch shall rise,
To fall, and rise again with time's reprise.
Brother and sister by the throne will stand,
Balance to bring, or doom to command.
Should the path be dark, the stars will weep,
For the universe's fate, the king shall keep."
Diana's breath hitched. The prophecy was... It was scary. She couldn't fathom it. From the lines alone, there was a possibility of the universe's doom... But it involves a king of sorts.
What did that entail?
Kronos was laughing now. "Be wary, Diana of Themyscira... The High King of the infinite realms and his siblings will arrive soon..."
"The infinite realms?!" Hippolyta almost looked faint.
"Yes. The king, his royal siblings the prince and princess have entered a new cycle. Their oldest royal sister is currently regent and unable to raise them in the realms."
Diana cleared her throat, "My apologies, but why is the regent unable to raise her siblings?"
"Regent Queen Jasmine Phantom died long ago. She is a full ghost whilst her siblings are epitomes of balance, both living and dead. As they are still very much alive, being in the realms for too long during their years of development is unhealthy for their constitutions." He explained, glancing at his staff.
"It is time."
Again, Diana was startled and almost lunged forward for more answers before her mother squeezed her hand again. Her breath caught, glancing back at her mother who sent her a warning glare.
"I wish you the best of luck, Diana." Kronos smiled, almost softly, "You will do well to raise my children. I am in your debt."
All at once, Diana was suddenly the mother of three and someone the Master of Time owed a debt too.
Diana had not expected to find three children in her home. Yes, she expected to find three individuals, but she had at least expected infants. Not three children who's ages varied.
"Hello..." The middle of the three said, blue eyes, black hair, scrawny and small.
"Hello." She softly said, looking around her apartment before crouching in front of the children with the softest smile she could ever give. "I am Diana. Could you give me your names, little ones?"
"Dante." The eldest of the three, with blue eyes that flashed red, grunted.
"Daniel but I go by Danny." The middle smiled, then gestures to the toddler that clung to Dante. "This one is Danielle but she likes to be called Ellie."
The girl waved at her, rosy cheeks with blue eyes pile her brothers.
"Clockwork said we had to come to you because our sister couldn't keep us in the realms. We're sorry for the trouble." Danny grimaces, genuinely apologetic and clasping his hands together.
"I told that bastard that we didn't need to be deaged or anything. But no! He kept saying that we needed a vacation or whatever." Dante scoffed, rolling his eyes before adjusting little Elle in his arms.
Diana saw the discomfort on the eldest's expression as he tried to adjust his little sister in his arms. She offered her service to him, gesturing for Dante to give the toddler to her, bur she received a growl and a glare from crimson eyes.
One of the boys was the king of the infinite realms turned into a child. The prophecy had clearly stated that the king would be joined by his sister and brother, so the possibility of little Ellie being the king was void. So it was between the boys then.
"Don't be mean, Dan! Miss Diana is already trying her best right now. I'll tell Clockwork and Aunt Pandora that you're being mean to their favorite." Danny snapped, swatting his brother's shoulders.
"It is alright, your majesties."
"Oh!" Danny flushed red, "No need for that. You don't have to!" He insisted, "I'm not king at the moment since Jasmine demanded we were given a break... I just didn't think that a break meant going through a new human cycle."
Diana's eyes softened, so Daniel was king. "I see... I do not mind being your caretaker, little ones. I have friends who have children, and I have found myself rather envious of them. Truthfully, I never expected to beae children myself but... My mother lost the ability to have one herself, and yet she made me from clay."
Dante nodded, "We've heard of your story. It's quite beautiful how your mother loved you so much, even when you were nothing but a dream... But she managed to make you reality with that love. It's quite inspiring."
Danny soon explained, "Our mortal mother died many years ago. She and our father were ghosts, citizens of the infinite realms before my siblings and I encouraged them to follow through with reincarnation. We would have had our eldest sister do the same, but she is more stubborn than our parents." The fond smile on his lips was one tinged by melancholy and longing.
Diana realized that these children were ripped away from what they called home, forced by their own sister for their sakes. Immortal monarchs were thought to be all powerful, undying and never needing rest.
Diana herself saw it as such, with how Zeus refused to relinquish his throne, of how his siblings and children attempted to usurp him the same way he did with Kronos.
But the royals of the infinite realms seemed to be of a different breed. The dead who were once mortal, living, before time caught up to them and their existences were given to the realms. That humanity seemed to be what made the Ghostly royals to be so... Extraordinary. Because it was clear to Diana that the regent Jasmine loved her kingly brother and royal siblings with all her heart. Especially when she was willing to sit upon the throne, carry the burden of monarch, for a life time. All because she wanted them to be given a chance at happiness.
Diana has heard stories of the realms, of how the previous king, a tyran named Pariah Dark, was defeated. Phantom became king through conquest and it was rumoured he had still been a child, still alive and only half dead, when he was given the crown.
"Well then..." She cleared her throat, smiling softly. "I hope that you will be able to live comfortably with me, little ones. I will not force you to see me as a mother, but I will do everything I can to be a proper caretaker. I will love and cherish you the same way my mother and sister did."
That statement alone seemed to have affected the three, enough that Dante relaxed.
The second time Diana tried to take Ellie from his arms, Dante sis not resist. He carefully tucked his sister into her arms, showing her how she liked to be held.
Ellie giggled, reach up to her and nuzzling her cheek against Diana's chest.
"Adorable." She whispered, kissing the little girl's forehead before turning back to her brothers. "May I know how old you currently are?"
"Physically or chronologically?"
Diana chuckled, "Physically."
"I'm ten. Danny's eight and Ellie's two." Dante explained, pointing to them each whenever he spoke. "But chronologically, we're around... Actually, I don't know. Time in the realms and time here is different. It's also different from our earth. So..."
"Ah, no need to explain if it's too confusing. I understand that time flows differently for everyone. Let us just say that you've existed for a few centuries, yes? Keep it vague for everyone else." Diana grinned, already thinking of how Batman would be utterly perplexed by that.
"Well then, let us get you settled in, yes? Unfortunately, I only have one guest room." Diana frowned, cooing at little Elle that tried to wiggle our of her grasp, "I was planning on moving soon since this part of Paris is a little too loud for me."
A little white lie. She'd have to ask Bruce for help of finding a new space in a short time.
The three looked suspicious, skeptical, and already feeling guilty. Diana was quick to act, ushering them to their rooms, asking them if they've eaten and what they'd like for dinner if not.
Aside from a new place, she needed to acquire herself some parenting books. Yes. Lots and lots of parenting books, especially if her children were eldritch beings.
Maybe Bruce had more experience in that field.
No, Diana, do not think like that. You're a mother now.
Especially when she was the mother of three while Bruce was only parenting one child. Though said child was now a rather rebellious fifteen year old.
Masterpost
#Children of Diana#I like WW's clay origin more than her being a daughter of Zeus#it shows that Hippolyta loved her so damn much that she made a child out of clay and was gifted life by the gods#in my au this lady is between 200 or 300 years old#that's reasonable in my head :)#Jazz saw her siblings slowly breaking down from being king; the time police; and ambassador of the realms#dan is time police and hates speedsters now cause theyre the ones he's trying to arrest#its part of his community service#ellie is ambassador because she gets to travel everywhere and make diplomatic relations for rhe realms#Diana achieved the status of mother#shes gonna be the best mom to her new ghost babies#The Phantom trio really miss Jazz but their new super mom is the cool lady that Pandora and CW are really proud of#Diana has had her babies for less than a day but if anything happens to them she'll kill everyone then herself#DICK IS STILL ROBIN AND FIFTEN!#So the rest of the batkids haven't been adopted yet#so#technically... Diana has the most kids#mother is motherinf by having the most kids first :D#tbh struggled writing their names a bit cause there were too many Ds#dpxdc#dc x dp#danny phantom#danny fenton
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[ID in alt text]
POV you are a little bunny guy and you almost forgot how pretty your boyfriend is in between visits
(Thank you Thespius for letting me go bonkers on trying procreate for the first time you are an excellent muse)
#ggg#great god grove#thespius green#click clack#lovestory#that’s the ship name right. I think so#my art#PLAY GREAT GOD GROVE🔫#WOW ITS BEEN 200 YEARS BUT I CAN APPARENTLY STILL DRAW?#procreate is SOOOOO fun though omg. having a blast with it#I feel like I’m gonna actually get back into drawing regularly now that I have it#at least I hope so! hold me to it
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bestiessssss <3
click for better quality; tumblr eats lines
#shoutout autism !! gotta be one of my favourite friendship dynamics#realising now i wrote my signature and the date while it was flipped. whoopsie daisy.#guess im joining the brigade and becoming the 8 millionth person to use this reference pic#im working on not reflexively pointing out all the flaws but i need you to know its very difficult and i am NOT having fun >:( whatever#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective fanart#niko sasaki#edwin payne#edwin payne fanart#niko sasaki fanart#my art#if queue dont mind#ceci says stuff#100#200
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"Do you believe in the existence of extraterrestrials?"
The X-Files | S01E01 'Pilot'
#yall im so getting into this#mulder is so gender#i want to be him...#also the whole 'spooky' aspect of the show is fun#a bit different from my usual taste lol but not unexpected#what i mean is that it takes itself quite seriously and i dont usuall go for that#i hate horror genre stuff in general#but this is only sort of pseudo-horror so its apparently fine?#i guess because my boy fox is so cool#x files#the x files#my gifs#s01e01#pilot#also i want that poster. get it on my wall now#the scientist speaks#notes: 200
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this is very very urgent and needed asap. my mom is out of her insulin. its $50 to get her prescription refilled. anything helps!! five people sends $10 and we'll be set
paypal.me/akirk432 (pls send via friends and family)
cashapp: $autumnroses93
#babbling#paid the electric bill which was almost#$200 bc we have to run the air conditioners almost 24/7 bc its way too hot to even leave them off and then i bought more groceries for my#parents#didnt even realize she was out of insulin until now
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seeing people new to rap react to kdots lyrics in his diss tracks will never not be funny. yes he has always been this talented. yes he publicly flayed drake alive this week. yes he is one in a long line of people who absolutely hate that mf
#kendrick lamar#drake#kendrick vs drake#2024#seeing tumblr talk about rap beef is so funny to me.#you cant enjoy rap while yall look down your noses at it#its always been this good. kendrick especially. you are just now paying attention#100#200
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i guess this is vent art sort of? anyways look at these weirdos
i know there's several ocd creatures already but i didn't vibe with any of them so here's mine. its name is smh creature. it moves around by hiding into the ground and then reemerging (at the worst possible moment) but can also slide around.
#my post#artstuff#tbh creature#btw creature#smh creature#autism creature#adhd creature#ocd creature#actuallyautistic#actuallyadhd#actuallyocd#disability tag#autism tag#adhd tag#ocd tag#and before anyone asks. my relationship with my ocd used to be way worse. now its mostly just.#annoying (if its not currently paralyzing me with fear/need to do the compulsion)#50#100#200
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Hey that one post you made in 2013 is almost at 10k notes
OH TRUST ME I AM WELL AWARE LMAO
My phone has been blowing up for this past week I swear kejfkebfbjdjdkfj
Way back 10 years ago when I said I'd do it, I was still in college and it had jumped to the 5 or 7k or so it was back then, I actually got started working on the damn thing because it looked like it was going to happen.
Then the notes dried up and I was like oh phew, I'm good, I'm fine, I won't have to.
BUT THEN.
This goddamn renaissance of notes has been orchestrated by @composeregg because I've just started playing Mass Effect for them and some other friends and of course my beloved Mako is right there, and I tell them about it.
And hey, what do you know, it turns out I actually do still have that canvas board I started painting it on?? It somehow survived college and like 5 moves.
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So like, I guess if yall can do it, at least I won't have to start from scratch?
#the mako#mass effect#scrawlamander#if it does hit 10k im gonna try and have it done before I beat the game#cause there was one specific scene that prompted this#maybe my favorite moment in all of ME1#theyve tried to make this happen a few times before but its never stuck like this#they also hadn't queued it 200 times before so I'm sure that has something to do with it#also probably tumblr's algorithm changing and having a for you feed#kind of fascinating honestly#that post has gotten notes here and there through the decade but it was locked at 8k for years now
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thinking about, despite everything, Garmadon still truly loved his son
#THROWSUP & DIES I LOVE THEM SO MUCH U DONT UNDERSTAND#like. even though darkness or evil or whatever consumed him he still loved him#which makes the oni trilogy SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE CAUSE THAT LOVE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!#and lloyd is like 'well... maybe he still loves me under all that darkness like all the times before!!!' BUT ITS GONE#i have only watched up to s9 btw so ermm idk whats goin on now LOL this is kinda based on the first seasonish#lloyd garmadon#lord garmadon#ninjago#ninjago lloyd#ninjago garmadon#my art#god i just think about them so much i love them#100#200
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I always draw allure being the least menacing one in lambmura but TRUST ME they are the Worst person to manage fully nagging shamura in FIVE MINUTES.
After all they were the first in the relationship to chase after shamura and initiated everything Therefore the consequences of shamura loving allure are their insanely high energy cuz they get to unmask and shamura so happens to be the first person they wake up next to every few days depending on their schedules 💀 yeah i guess "sleep with me" is taken literally-
There is nothing but hatred in their eyes
Ive no clue where shamura would find two slices of bread but theyd 100% do this LSJDKSDJSK
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#Bringing back 2018 animation memes one at a time with them just you WAIT#200 year old death god who needs to socialize 24/7 or they lose energy x 9000 year old ex war & wisdom god who just wants to hermit#(Shamura loves their lamb i promise its just allure can be too hyperactive and shamura just explodes if theyre too much 😭)#<- (They do grow used to it though) (but still this elderly spider despite not looking it NEEDS A BREATHERRR ALLURE PLEEKKKK)#You can definitely expect allure clinging onto shamura before they gotta deal with dead bodies all day and theyre like.#“My lamb you are the cult leader please be serious” now picture allure looking like a very sad wet dog who just walked outside in the rain#They just miss their spouse 💔💔 can only see them during certain times of the day💔💔#Yap yap yap#sydneys videos#cotl#cult of the lamb#lambmura#lamb x shamura#the lamb#lamb#shamura
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From the same Storm mini-series 🥹
THE FAM 🥺
#snap chats#logan can you not look like a moody teenage boy for five minutes you are ALMOST 200 years old <- obsessed regardless#AND OFC MY BEST FRIEND CHARLES. i always love it when he looks so quaint ..... very polite i'm treating him to hors d'oeuvres#hey real quick did you guys know i hate french. worst language its not close it got me PISSED#i got three sibs and those FREAKS all took french in school. freaks the lot of them#Unrelated Ramble Asided thank you for treating me to a snippet of what else ill come to read from these issues !!!#i cannot wait.... ive been embroiled in krakoa so much it's nice to take a break sometimes#i mean i . already do that with the 60's comics but ive been neglecting them a lil Ill Admit#on that note tho i finished the first volume of legion of x and i'll prob start/finish the second one this weekend so that'll be fun :]#then i got my First Class issues + this storm run ... i do be readin a lot its a very exciting time for my brain i think#ihave once again rambled for a solid year LMAOOOO ok im done fr now. im hungry#thank you again for this gift my friend i cant wait to see it in its context 👯♀️👯♀️
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Small little doodle dump cause why not!
First ones came from the idea a pal of mine had that their WH oc would serenade Poppy with country music and I quickly decided Dandy can play a mean acoustic guitar and be the best backup for country serenading moments. Enjoy the silly country fit!
OH AND A JULIE!!!! I NEED TO DRAW HER MOOOORE RAAAAAAH
#welcome home#welcome home oc#dandy leon#welcome home puppet show#welcome home arg#my art#sketches#julie joyful#welcome home julie#wh julie#julie fanart#welcome home fanart#my style shifts so much between each piece aaaugh#sorry that its so many whiteboard doodles!!!!!#whiteboard is kinda fun now that im not shit at it lmao#I feel like i dont post Dandy specific doodles as much as I could but then i remember i did a whole doodle dump with them in it not long ago#weird how that is! i was gonna be like “i need to draw them more!!!” but dandy has over 200 pieces of art they get drawn PLENTY#oh right i guess wally is here too!#wally darling#there we go
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insatiable appetite [1/?]
sooo... this is one of the thirstiest things i have written—and also one of the only times i've written a character with the kink, ever T.T warnings in advance for mess, character getting sneezed on, implied contagion, possible ooc-ness, & me writing this entirely with my d instead of my head
ivan and till are from al//ien sta//ge (a very fun watch which will only take 30 mins out of your life; i really recommend it!!). that said, this fic takes place in a modern au setting, so feel free to read it without any prior context :)
special thanks to @6pmsoup for sending me a very cute alnst doodle of these two which altered my brain chemistry permanently
—
Summary: Till shows up to a dinner outing with a brewing cold. Ivan suffers. (est. relationship, kink!Ivan, ~2k words)
—
For all Till tries to hide it, Ivan can tell immediately.
There’s this: Ivan has been paying attention to Till for most of his life. A full decade before they’d gotten together officially, and some more—this is how long Ivan has had to observe his tells. Always from the sidelines, always with a detached air of indifference that, in reality, was anything but.
All the signs are there the night before. Till, turning up the thermostat a couple degrees higher than he usually keeps it. Spending a little too long in the shower and using up almost all of the hot water. Clearing his throat one too many times in the morning before Ivan leaves for work, his smile distracted, the rasp of his voice nearly indistinguishable—but only nearly.
Now, Till is here for dinner—it’s a dinner they’ve had plans for a couple weeks now, at one of the nicer restaurants downtown, in celebration of Till’s recent promotion. Ivan had booked the reservation a couple weeks in advance.
When Till arrives, stepping out of a taxi cab, he’s wearing a scarf, even though the weather is too warm for it. Ivan steps up to meet him.
“Sorry I’m late,” Till says. “Traffic here was the worst I’ve ever seen it, swear to god.”
“Was it cold outside today?” Ivan asks, a little pointedly, tilting his head towards his scarf.
Till looks at him, his expression unreadable. Then he nods. “Colder than usual, for this time of year.”
“Strange,” Ivan says, just to be difficult. “But the weather forecast says it’s the same temperature today as yesterday.”
“It’s probably just windier today,” Till says, readjusting his scarf around his neck. His face is a little flushed.
“Your voice sounds a little off, though.”
Till clears his throat with a scowl. “You must be imagining it,” he says. “It always sounds like this.”
No admission, then. That’s fine. Ivan will get the truth out of him at some point. He lets Till guide him into the restaurant.
It’s a nice restaurant—worth the hassle of the reservation, Ivan thinks. Each table is set with flowers arranged tastefully in long glass vases, empty wine glasses turned on their heads. The server—who leads them to their table in a small, private booth—is wearing a suit.
It’s a shame, really. Ivan has a feeling that he won’t be able to pay attention to any of that tonight.
They sit. Ivan looks down at the menu, picks out something at random in a matter of seconds. Truthfully, he can hardly think of anything less worth his attention right now. He turns his attention to Till instead—Till, who’s seated directly across from him, the scarf still around his neck, obscuring the lower half of his face.
Till sniffles, reaching down to turn the page, and oh. The sniffle is terribly liquid—has he been sniffling like that all afternoon? Perhaps it’s a good thing that they work at different offices—Till at a law firm, Ivan as a senior manager at a consulting company—because Ivan certainly doesn’t think he’d be able to get any work done with Till sniffling like that.
It’s not two minutes later that Till is reaching up to wipe his nose against the back of one knuckle. All in all, it’s discreet. Just a quick brush of the fingers against his nose, which is still hidden under the scarf. Though, the look of sheer ticklishness that passes over his features for a brief moment there is...
“What are you thinking of ordering?” Ivan asks.
“I can’t decide,” Till answers. He turns the page again. “It’s between the ribeye steak and the… snf! The pork belly. Is this the kind of place that skimps on the portion sizes?”
“Not from their Yelp reviews,” Ivan says. “You know, if you really can’t decide, I can flip a coin.”
��I’ll pick,” Till says. “Why? Hungry already?”
He looks up, now. His eyes are a little watery. There’s a faint flush over the bridge of his nose. Ivan thinks that if he reached out and touched him, he’d probably be running warm. The thought is almost unbearable.
“Your taxi did take forever to arrive,” Ivan says, by way of explanation.
“Did you really wait that long?”
He looks uncertain, for a moment. Ivan says, “Not at all. But you know, I’m always impatient when it comes to you.”
Till rolls his eyes, but it’s fond. “There was a meeting that ran late. I wasn’t avoiding you.”
“Is that also a part of your new position?” “I guess so, yeah.”
“I can see why they were eager to promote you, then,” Ivan says. “How productive can late afternoon meetings be, anyways?”
Till snorts. “Not that important. It definitely could have been an email instead. I was about ready to doze off.”
He sniffles again. “Okay. I think I know what I want.” The way he says know betrays the slightest hint of congestion.
“At long last,” Ivan says, just to be a little bit of an ass. “I’ll call over the waiter.”
He flags their waiter down, waits for Till to order first.
“A spiced apple cider,” Till adds on, at the end, with the slightest of coughs. “Hot, if you can.”
That’s new, too. Till seldom orders hot drinks at restaurants, though he’ll drink tea without complaint if it’s offered. Perhaps his throat hurts, then, from the cold that has clearly started to settle in his system. Subtle, still, but Ivan is familiar with colds like this. He knows it will probably only be a few hours before this deceptively “small” cold turns into…
Ivan orders, too, and thanks the waiter, who leaves with a curt nod. When he looks back over to Till, there’s a… strange something to Till’s expression, a slight distractedness. Irritation.
Ivan swallows hard. He should look away.
He should, but then, Till’s breath hitches. He pulls the scarf higher over his face preemptively, as if he anticipates having something to have to cover for. The sharp intake of breath that follows is breathy, though Ivan can hear Till’s voice in it. He should really look away.
Instead, he takes the scene in, painstakingly, little by little, as Till’s shoulders jerk forwards. As Till presses a hand to the scarf, presses the fabric closer to his face, to muffle a sneeze into his fingertips:
“hhH-Ih!! hiHH-’IESCHH-eew-!”
God. It sounds utterly miserable, the harsh release of it scraping against his throat, the spray tearing into his scarf. It’s the kind of cold sneeze that is undeniably telling: this is going to be one hell of a cold. It’s not very quiet, either, even muffled into the fabric.
For more reasons than one, Ivan is glad they’re in a private corner of the restaurant, not somewhere more public.
“Bless you,” he offers, once he can trust himself to speak. It’s a good thing that Till is too distracted to look up at him right now. Ivan isn’t sure he can keep what he’s feeling off of his face.
Truthfully, he isn’t sure he’s going to be able to endure a whole night of this.
The problem here is that Till—Till, of all people; Till, who Ivan has been pathetically in love with for almost as long as he can remember—has no idea about Ivan’s… relatively niche interests. That is to say, he has no idea what effect it has on Ivan when he does that.
“Thanks,” Till says, a little stuffily. He sniffles again, lowering his hand.
Ivan can’t help it. He knows he shouldn’t pursue this line of questioning, but he can feel his self-control dwindling by the second. “Don’t you think it would be better to take off your scarf, now that we’re inside?”
Till freezes. “Y-You know what,” he says evasively. “It’s pretty cold in here.”
Ivan tilts his head in question. “And just how do you plan on eating like that?”
“I’ll take it off when our food comes.”
“I can ask the waiter to turn the temperature up, if it’s a problem,” Ivan says.
“It’s not a problem.”
Ivan rises from his seat. Till watches him, perplexed, as he heads to the opposite side of the table, where Till is seated.
When he gets there, he stops. Stands, unmoving, so he can study Till from above.
“What are you—”
Ivan reaches out, settles his palm across Till’s forehead. As expected, it’s warm. Not quite feverish, which is a good sign, but warm enough to be notable.
“Just how long were you intending to hide this?”
Till stares back at him, wide-eyed. “Hide what?”
Shouldn’t it be obvious? “The fact that you have a cold.”
“I didn’t think it was worth mentioning,” Till says, slowly.
“Hmm.” Ivan drops his hand to his side. He is a little concerned, now. “We could’ve called a rain check.”
This time Till really does roll his eyes. “For the reservation we planned weeks ahead?” he sniffles again. “That just sounds completely and utterly unnecessary. Are you the type of person to call things off just over a little cold?”
Ivan leans over, tugs down the edge of Till’s scarf. Till bats his hand away just a moment too late, cups his other hand over his face to shield his face from view. For a moment, he looks faintly mortified.
Then his expression settles into something more disgruntled. “What are you doing?” he hisses.
So uncooperative. “Let me see,” Ivan says. Slowly, gently, he pries Till’s hands away from his face, and then—because the restaurant is dimly lit—tilts Till’s face up slightly so that it catches more of the overhead light.
Till’s nose is redder than usual. He’s probably been rubbing it all afternoon, if the redness that percolates into his cheeks is any indication. There’s a damp, liquid sheen on the underside of his nose.
“What’s there to see?” Till says, a little crossly.
“Your face, since you’ve been so intent on hiding it under that scarf,” Ivan says, leaning in to get a better look.
Till scowls at him, but there’s no heat to it. “You see my face every day.”
“On the contrary, I don’t see it nearly enough,” Ivan says. “And you hardly ever get sick. Is it so wrong for me to be concerned?”
Without looking, he reaches behind him with one hand to grab a couple cocktail napkins. The other hand he keeps held up to Till’s cheek.
But then, Till’s breath hitches. “Wait,” he says. Panic flashes through his face. “Ivan, move, I—”
Oh. Well, seeing as there’s no way he’ll be able to get the napkins over in time, it looks like he’ll have to improvise. If Till wants to cover, Ivan can help with that. He moves his hand to cup it loosely over Till’s mouth. Not a second too late, it seems. Till jerks forward unceremoniously, his nose twitching, his eyes squeezing shut.
“hHheh-! HHh’EIITShHh’yYiew!” he gasps sharply. Two? “Hh-! hHiiH’DSSCSSHh-IIew!”
The jolt of the sneezes is practically electrifying—all of that force, brought to an abrupt halt behind Ivan’s waiting palm. He feels the expulsion of air against his skin, the warmth of Till’s breath, feels the slight dampness behind his hand as the spray mists over his fingertips.
Ivan swallows, hard. Thank god it’s so dark here, otherwise Till might notice what this is doing to him.
“Bless you,” he says, withdrawing his hand at last to wipe it on one of the cloth napkins. It comes out slightly raspier than he intends it to, though perhaps it’s a miracle that he’s still able to talk at all. “Some cold, hmm?” Belatedly, he hands Till the stack of napkins.
Till practically snatches them from him, turns aside to blow his nose wetly into the top few. The way he sniffles afterwards suggests that his nose is still very much running.
“Do you have no self preservation? It’s as if you want to catch this,” Till says, drawing back with another sniffle.
Oh, Ivan thinks, fighting back a shiver. That would be far from the worst thing.
#sneeze fic#sneeze kink#snz fic#snz kink#my fic#i needed to get this out of my system 😭 i know its unpolished#i thought i was already baring my soul with the ki//ll//er pe//ter fic but this is so much worse#special apology to my dear friends who have been forced to listen to me talk nonstop about al//n//st (you know who you are) (and if you see#this i'm personally sorry 😭) maybe someday i will write something for them that is less unhinged and perhaps more in character#the thought of kink!iva//n just took hold of me and then this fic materialized#still experimenting with different flavors of writing him... balancing my understanding of his character w this specific kink flavor was#an experiment for sure. like how do you balance concern and desire/selfishness?#i couldn't figure it out so just leaned very hard into the latter#also the 1/? is a placeholder; writing this was already testing the limits of my courage LOL#if i sit here i'll write another 200 disclaimers because i'm embarrassed to be posting this so i'll just schedule the post now
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Working on redesigns of my human designs
#stex#starlight express#starlight express 2024#electra the electric engine#greaseball the diesel engine#porter the coal truck#pearl the observation car#dinah the dining car#galvanic the electric engine#thundercab the diesel#diamond the observation car#dolly the dining car#stex human au#waiting until each is colored wpuld be 200 years from now i fear#its 3 am im dhhsh#ggauh
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