#(Most likely he’s keeping it a secret before the assassin becomes a robot and getting closer to her after she’s one too)

[artsandstoriesandstuff]

I’ve got a new story idea!

Generally robots, out of them and humans, end ip being the killers or evil guys.

But consider: A series named “Killing Machine” about a HUMAN assassin who kills robots.

I still need to develop this but what do you guys think? :)

[kidney9-9]

Midoriya Izuku Becomes Overpowered - Chapter 2

hi please check the masterlist for information!

-

The next time Midoriya saw Wanda was the next week, when she was standing outside of his school with her hands in her pockets, looking a bit bored. He instantly cheered up at the sight of her. It seemed she knew that his mom wasn’t going to be there to pick him up and walk him home, and that he always walked himself home.

“Hey, kid.” Wanda smiled to him, setting out her hand in front of her to him. He instantly took it and glanced around to make sure no one was watching him. He didn’t want anyone else to know about Wanda. He wanted to keep her his secret because she was so different than everyone else. He didn’t want her to turn into those people.

She already knew that he was quirkless but treated him sweetly still, like he was a real kid. Not like garbage.

“Wanda! You’re here, I’m so excited. I thought you weren’t going to show up again.” Midoriya confessed, eyes shining up at her.

“Aw, of course I wouldn’t do that, I told you I’d see you again.” She promised, smiling down at him as she took his hand in hers and started to walk down the street.

“Okay, thank you. Where are we going?” Midoriya wondered aloud. He continued walking anyways.

“To a café! You like coffee shops, right? I’ll get you a drink and a treat and we can talk more about everything. You’re like my unofficial guide here, kid. I tried talking to some other people and it did not work out well.” She shook her head at the memory and winced.

Midoriya let out a small, amused laugh, “What happened?”

“I wanted to get a smoothie yesterday and the cashier’s hand turned into a blender! Is that normal? When I asked him to do it the old-fashioned way, he looked offended. I didn’t mean to offend him. And when I looked for a library – oh my, the books here are all about quirks this, quirks that. There is no introduction to quirks book that I could find. And no history books about the early 2000s here.” She ranted, sighing deeply at the end.

Midoriya took a second to pause and then he started to giggle hard, “Did you look in the history section? There’s so many history books about the early 2000s.”

Wanda quickly opened her mouth and then closed it and then repeated it again before glancing down at Midoriya with amusement, “I guess not.”

He burst out in laughter, holding his stomach. His childish laughter caused Wanda to start chuckling slightly as well and the two walked to the nearest café together.

“So, who should start first?” Wanda spoke up as she settled down into a cozy seat while Midoriya sat in one across from her.

“Well, I have a lot of questions for you, so can you maybe go first?” Midoriya asked shyly, taking a sip of his sugary drink. His eyes widened as he gazed down at it, enjoying it a lot.

“Okay, sure.” She responded briefly and then sighed, “Where to start…” She wondered, glancing up and around the room.

Midoriya shrugged, “Maybe the beginning?”

Wanda laughed slightly, “Right, the beginning. I’ll start with 2012, when the Avengers were formed. These people were… my enemies at first. But I’ll get to that later. The Avengers were a group of people with extraordinary power. Iron Man was a super genius who built his own suits. Black Widow was one of the most dangerous assassins in the world. Captain America was a super soldier who was injected with a serum that gave him super strength. Hulk was, hm, how do I put this… a big green guy. Thor was a god from another world. And Hawkeye was a man who couldn’t miss with a bow and arrow.”

Midoriya practically inhaled all the information and was eager for more, so Wanda continued.

“In 2012, Thor’s adopted brother Loki tried to take over the world with an alien army. The Avengers were formed to fight Loki and they won, arrested Loki, and sent him back to his world. The alien army was defeated. It doesn’t end there. A few years later, Iron Man created a robot who was sentient. It wasn’t his intention to make an evil robot that wanted to take over the world, but here’s where my brother and I come into the story. We became close with the robot because he tricked us into believing a perfect world.” Wanda stopped with a gulp of her drink and then continued.

“We were practically villains. I thought I was doing something great for the world, until I saw inside the robot’s head and found out what he was really doing. He was trying to make a world without humans, only robots. I turned against him at that point and joined the Avengers with my brother. We defeated Ultron a while later, but unfortunately my brother died…” Wanda stared at Midoriya, wondering what he was thinking. She didn’t want to look inside his head though, for privacy reasons.

“I’m so sorry you lost your brother.” Midoriya spoke up, furrowing his eyebrows. “You did the best you could, I know you did.” He continued.

Wanda smiled sadly before she went on with her story, “Over the years, more problems happened but we always worked them out as a team. Over those years, more Avengers joined the team and a few years after that was when the worst of it all happened. An evil alien killed half of the population or at least took them somewhere, and they disappeared for 5 years. We got rid of the alien and got our population back… it was a mess.” She summed it up and then breathed in deeply.

“A little after this point, I thought I could start a family and get my brother back. And I did somehow with all the wrong reasons, and it worked out at first – but then it took a few people to bring me back and realize that what I was doing was wrong. I killed a lot of people, kid. I really regret it. All because I wanted my family back. I hope you never understand that feeling… it’s horrible. The guilt, it’s just too much.” She sighed, shaking her head.

“But I’m here now. After I realized all the bad things I did, I wanted to do something good, at least to amend it. So, I tried my best to do that, and it ended up with Dr. Strange smacking me here.” Wanda shrugged, finishing up her story.

Midoriya stared at her wide eyed. “I have a lot of questions.”

“Shoot.”

“Aliens? Gods? As in real gods? Are they here too? Can you see them? Are you friends with Thor? What are your powers? How did you get a family? How did you try to bring them back? Why did you kill?” Midoriya rambled, shaking with excitement.

“Woah, that’s a lot. But okay! I can do this. It’s not the hardest thing I’ve done.” Wanda laughed at her own joke and then took a sip.

“The gods should exist here too unless something happened to them. I really don’t want to talk to them here though, because that might cause some problems back home. Yeah, you could say I’m friends with Thor. He’s like a big golden retriever. My powers… well basically I am chaos. I can create and destroy things without the use of matter.” Midoriya cut her off with a loud, “WOAH.”

Wanda chuckled loudly at that, shaking her head. “It’s magic. That’s all. My family though, I don’t think I’m ready to talk fully about them, maybe another time.” She quieted down.

“Oh ok, I understand.” Midoriya nodded.

“So, were those all your questions? Do you want to explain everything that’s happened lately in your dimension?”

“Nope, absolutely not all my questions, but I’ll start explaining things to you.” He shrugged.

[bitegore]

Telling you about an OC to see which of yours would get along with him:

Shadow Lipovsky, former secret agent, current hit man for a drug cartel, occasional stripper, bisexual, loves dancing, super ADHD very hyperactive, kind of clingy but a lot of fun, loves video games and cartoons, super friendly despite his job, cries when he's mad, has nightmares.

extremely funny that this is your description because I have a guy who is like that except for how his personality is garbage and he has like two friends because he's a hostile, unpleasant person who doesn't treat his friends very well. Either they'd get on like a house on fire or they'd hate each other, I think.

Rex is a former secret agent turned ???? weird guy who lives in the woods and makes knives for fun and refuses to say what his job is (he's a courier and he takes packages places but he's not a fan of telling anyone anything about his life), continent-reknowned slut, bisexual, loves partying (dancing included but not all of it), super ADHD very hyperactive, vanishes for months on end without explanation and will get annoyed if you check up on him but also will expect you to put up with him for 20+ hours per day if he's in the area so Shadow might actually not get sick of his bullshit when he's around, super friendly if you get substances into him and really standoffish if you don't but he's more excited to get drunk than anyone else is to get him drunk, bites people semi-fatally when he's mad, has nightmares lol. You can see why I say it, right, hehe?

Anyway the biggest issue I can see is that Rex generally tries really hard to keep his life with his family about as far separate from his life with, like, friends and fuckbuddies and people he knows but isn't related to, separate. So he'd basically show up in town for two weeks, glue himself to whoever he thinks has the most fun and does the most shit unless he's had a falling-out with them, and then is like "on" nonstop until he leaves and is like literally not heard from again for minimum two and a half months. He's very secretive and if Shadow were to- not just ask and take no for an answer but to like genuinely try and pry, he'd get pissy and standoffish really fast.

...Rex would also expect a discount on party drugs if he were buddy-buddy with Shadow, but he works in a very much gift-economy-based world system where barter is a major part of his life, so that's not really as annoying as it probably sounds. "You get me these and I do x for you later" runs on knowing the person who will do x for you later, I suppose.

But yeah that's like every single person Rex knows. They're all like that. He'd have to not be an ex-coworker of Rex's, but I'd imagine they'd be working in different "departments" anyway if he has the skills to be a hitman and not just, like, a professional guy who threatens to flay you alive and then does because big boss said so.

-

bonus points also, I have a Transformers OC named Bait who likes hanging out with humans and especially likes hanging out with wild humans who like to have a good time. She'd probably fuck up his job because she'd expect Shadow to be up to go roll with her constantly, and when she says that she means everything from committing minor to major acts of crime and also going to parties and bars and clubs and gambling establishments and also sometimes murdering people for fun and it becomes very time-consuming very quickly. Benefits however include: being a multi-million-year-old robot dragon assassin and torturer for hire who is very good at killing and evading goons and who would be very miffed if her new friend's job tried to get in the way of them hanging out by sending some asshole to go drag him back before they're done.

She'd also probably drag him to a different planet just for funsies without warning. Up to Shadow if he enjoys this kind of behavior, but life is certainly never ever boring around her and it's never slow, either.

[bigfan-fanfic]

Berserker 3 (Male!Reader x Avengers; Male!Reader x Sam Wilson)

Requested by anonymous for  Hey I really like your work and I just found your writing with avengers x male berserker and I know you wrote it in 2019 but I was wondering if you were going to write a part including Sam and bucky and maybe even Peter and Wanda like those who joined latter Love u take care and stay hydrated! 💙

I decided that since I don’t have a lot of Sam Wilson x reader fics, I’d pair The Berserker up with him!

Trigger warning for gory character imagery (played for laughs - reader can lose and regrow appendages without pain or death)

By far, you are still the most feared member of the Avengers.

To be fair, you do still have the most gruesome powers.

Even with new additions.

Stark finds you creepy, even with your kind personality (when not raging), so you work with S.H.I.E.L.D. instead

You become closer with Natasha and Steve over that time, since Thor went back to Valhalla and Clint started leaving the field.

And working with Natasha and Steve is how you become embroiled in the whole mess with the Winter Soldier.

Quite clearly, you recall meeting the mysterious assassin for the first time, when you stayed on the highway to distract him while Steve and Natasha skedaddled.

“Hi there!” you smiled brightly at the advancing figure clad in body armor and a face mask. Carrying a large gun. Which he shot at you.

You get to appreciate multiple unique sensations, like being blasted apart by a rocket propelled grenade, and getting to see the Winter Soldier freak out when your disembodied head rolls to his feet and starts talking to him.

“You don’t say much, do you? Bet you’re cute under that mask, buddy.”

Which is when he punts your head away like a soccer ball flying through the air.

Let’s just say the Winter Soldier gets increasingly frustrated and creeped out by the fact that no matter what happens, you keep reconstituting and attacking again.

Meeting Sam Wilson is nice - he’s the first person who actually asks how you feel after using your powers, whether you are traumatized or not. You end up having dinner with him several times while he tries to figure you out, and then even more once he asks you out.

And then, later, to be fair, Ultron has studied you, so he isn’t as impressed. He keeps delaying you in the final battle by having his robots separate your legs and upper body. 

Clint is pretty much traumatized when he sees your legs on their own, drop-kicking robots and once, wrapping themselves around a robot’s neck and ripping its head off.

Wanda is frightened of you, screaming the Sokovian word for “demon” whenever she sees you at first. But she gets better in time.

It’s a fun time for you during the Civil War battle. Because Team Tony clearly isn’t prepared to be on the receiving end of your tactics. Tony, Rhodey, and Vision each try to avoid harming you, which makes it easier for you to contain them by running into the path of their attacks which would be fatal for most.

Nobody tells you how old the Spider-Man is, so you traumatize him a little (or a lot) when your arm gets detached and you literally throw it at him.

You don’t feel great about what happens to Rhodey, but it’s clear Tony won’t listen to reason when he blasts your boyfriend, so you whack him unconscious with your detached leg before ordering FRIDAY to get medical assistance. Then you abscond with Sam.

It’s you who leads the rescue from the Raft, using your clearance from old SHIELD to hack into files.

Let’s also say that you don’t really enjoy seeing the other team again - Tony and Vision and Rhodey remain on your naughty list, meaning you refuse to talk to them. You also don’t tend to interact with Peter, although you have grown closer to Wanda.

At the end of the day, you remain the Berserker, the secret monster hidden behind rays of sunshine, and when Thanos comes, you alone are ready to withstand all his attacks.

At least until you are be-dusted...

[shera-dnd]

Cupid’s Kiss

Took me way longer than expected curse the whims of my mental health but the winner of this month’s 3k fic poll is finally here!

In which Carmen and Julia have a lovely totally not date in Paris while in search for two thieves who are certainly also not having a date

if you’d like a chance to get your fic ideas written by me, or just want to support me, you can feel free to donate to my ko-fi (rules over here)

and here is the ao3 link if you’d rather read it over there

also this fic was brought to you thanks to the help of @cantdrawshaw

NOW ON WITH THE FIC

Carmen Sandiego was the best at her job. She had bested trained assassins and killer robots, evaded the world’s most advanced detective agency, and destroyed the largest criminal organization. All in her early twenties.

Yet there was one task she was not prepared to face. One that escaped her skills, both martial and technical. One that she had failed to plan around. One that existed entirely beyond the range of her skills. A foe that she could not beat.

“Come on, Carm,” Zack called, “it can’t be that hard. If even Ivy could score with the girls, you can do it too.”

“Even Ivy?!” His sister replied, furious, “I’ve been with more girls than you, jackass.”

“Guys, guys!” Carmen interrupted, “you’re not helping.”

Mentioning her interest in spending more time with Julia Argent had been the biggest mistake she had made in weeks. This was supposed to be a peaceful day at their old home base, but now here she was.

Her friends were trying so hard to help her and she couldn’t even be mad at how poorly they were doing, because she knew she wouldn’t fare much better were the roles reversed.

“Sorry,” the siblings replied in unison.

“I appreciate the support,” she assured them, “but I’m not trying to ‘score’ with anyone. I just wanna get to know Jules a little better.”

“So this is not a date?” Ivy asked.

“No!” She replied, a little too quickly, “me and Jules aren’t like that. She’s more of a… professional acquaintance. A coworker.”

“Carm,” Zack replied, “we’re coworkers and you’ve never had a bouquet of roses delivered to my door.”

“It was just a thank you for handling all those precious artifacts for me,” she explained, “she’s a hard worker, she deserved it.”

“Sure,” Ivy nodded, unconvinced, “is that why you take time to chat over coffee with her every other caper?”

“Not every moment of our lives has to be a chase, you know?” she countered.

“Or why you keep finding excuses to dance with her?”

“It’s the easiest way to speak privately at those parties without garnering unwanted attention,” she recited as if from a textbook.

“Or why-”

“Cease this!” Shadowsan’s stern voice commanded and the siblings fell silent, “VILE has trained her to never cave under interrogation. You’ll have a better chance extracting information from a rock.”

Carmen smirked at them, proud to have her skills of deflection recognized.

“Do not be so full of yourself,” he added, making Carmen flinch just a bit, “I have taught those lessons for years and I know how to see through them.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” she deflected, looking away.

He walked up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder with uncharacteristic gentleness.

“I have seen the happiness Miss Argent brings you,” he said, “and I wish you the best of luck should you wish to pursue it.”

That meant a lot to Carmen. More than she could really express in words. But after she had been so thoroughly embarrassed by her friends, all she could really say was,

“Not you too.”

She looked up at the smirking siblings and braced herself...

“Hey, Red,” Player’s voice called, just in the nick of time.

“Player!” She jumped to attention and grabbed the laptop from their desk.

“Woah!” he exclaimed, “everything okay, Red?”

Zack and Ivy snickered as they sat by each side of her, so they could see Player.

“I think Carm would rather you sent her on a crazy chase instead of sitting here talking about her crush on Jules,” Ivy teased.

“Well it looks like you might get to do both,” Player replied, to Carmen’s dismay, “look who our cameras just found walking around Paris.”

The screen cut to a video feed of one of ACME’s hidden cameras over the streets of Paris. None of the people on camera seemed particularly conspicuous… until a particular pair walked on screen. Even without their costumes Carmen could always recognize them.

“Tigress and Paper Star,” she noted, “those two can’t be up to any good.”

“Looks like we’ll be going to Paris, eh Carm?” Ivy commented as she playfully nudged her side.

“City of love,” Zack added as he joined the nudging.

Carmen groaned. This was gonna be a rough mission.

Chase had grown a lot over the past few months. His deductive reasoning had vastly improved, his mood was far more amenable, and he actually stopped to listen to Julia nowadays. What hadn’t really improved with time was his overall clumsiness. 

“Miss Argent, I’ll be fine,” his insistence was interrupted by a powerful sneeze, “This is nothing.”

“Agent Devineaux, please,” she pleaded, “you’re in no state to continue this investigation.”

Devineaux had landed himself into his fair share of rivers over the months he had worked for ACME, and it seemed that so many cold baths had finally caught up to his health. Not that he would ever admit to that.

“Nonsense,” he claimed, “I’ll be back in perfect shape by the time we land in Paris.”

The sneeze that followed said otherwise.

“Chase, please,” she asked again, “rest. I can handle this.”

“I refuse to send my partner on a mission by herself.”

“As sweet as your concern is,” she countered, “I doubt I’ll be by myself for long.”

“Ah yes, I’m sure La Femme Rouge will make for good company,” he agreed and she was glad he did, but it sounded like there was more to his words. “Were you anyone else I’d worry this was all a ploy to have some private time with Miss Sandiego.”

She shot him an unamused glare.

“Apologies,” he said almost immediately.

“Accepted,” she sighed, “but I do not appreciate any insinuations as to the nature of me and Miss Sandiego’s relationship. We’re good friends, nothing more.”

“Of course,” he nodded, but Julia could tell he had more to say.

Truly his detective skills have improved considerably as of late. It had become harder and harder for Julia to pass her excitement for those missions as simple passion for her work. Not when she had abandoned that work as soon as it conflicted with her passion for… something else.

Chase was her friend and she knew he’d understand her feelings for Carmen. She was also sure he’d do his best to keep it a secret until she was confident enough to bring these things to light. She trusted him and she didn’t fear anything of the sorts.

What she did fear was Chase trying to wingman for her. Just the thought was enough to fill her with dread. Enough dread to keep her mouth shut about her feelings in the vicinity of Agent Devineaux. Even if it felt bad to hide this from her friend.

Thankfully the Chief chose that exact moment to call her to give her updated information on their targets. 

Now she could just shut off all these awkward feelings and focus on her work.

The Louvre had been an obvious target. The world’s most famous museum, home to thousands of priceless works of art, including the Mona Lisa itself. It was so obvious in fact that VILE had never bothered to consider it.

But VILE was gone now and its escaped students no longer had any faculty to dissuade them from this target.

That’s why Carmen now walked its halls, diligently searching for any security flaws that could be exploited and any sign of the two master thieves on the loose.

She still took time to appreciate the art of course. This was the most famous museum in the world for a reason and she wasn’t gonna let this unique opportunity escape her, even with the evil duo to watch for.

Carmen had her attention split in every possible direction, her mind juggling its many tasks as she wandered hall after hall. Until, that is, she found something that pulled her focus into one singular point.

A shorter woman in a nice fitted suit, standing before one of the statues.

“Jules,” she greeted as she walked up behind her.

“Miss Sandiego,” Julia smiled as she greeted her, utterly unsurprised. She must have been expecting her, “it’s nice to see you here.”

“It’s nice seeing you too,” she replied, “and we went over this before, Carmen is just fine.”

“Carmen,” she said, in a way that warmed Carmen’s heart, “I take it you’ve been enjoying your time in Paris.”

“Hard to go sightseeing while I’ve got work to do, but I’m making do,” she shrugged, “how about you? What caught your attention today?”

Julia turned back to the statue she had been appreciating until then, “Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss.”

Carmen smirked, it was her time to shine.

“Sculpted by Antonio Canova, commissioned by welsh art-collector John Campbell in 1787,” she recited from memory, “its prime version was acquired by the Louvre in 1824 after the death of its previous owner, Joachim Murat.”

“Very impressive,” Julia praised, “I wish my students put half as much time as you do into their research.”

“I’m just good at memorizing trivia,” Carmen shrugged, trying to hide her pride at earning that praise, “I’m sure you know so much more than me on the subject.”

Boy was Carmen right about that. That seemed to have been the cue to send Julia into a long lecture about the neoclassical and romantic periods, as well as an analysis of the sculpture’s mythological origins and the many interpretations of the myth.

Many people would probably find this amount of information unspeakably tedious. But for Carmen, who was always hungry to learn about the world around her (and could never get tired of Jules speaking so enthusiastically,) it was exciting and endearing.

Carmen had realized then that she wanted nothing more than to spend her every waking hour listening to Julia talk on and on about anything she wanted, as long as it was passionate like this. Maybe someday soon.

Right now they had the whole rest of the Louvre to scout.

“Alright, alright, victory is yours,” Carmen playfully interrupted, “I guess you really are the biggest history nerd here.”

“Oh I’m sorry, it seems I got a bit carried away,” Julia cringed in shame. Damn it Sandiego! “I didn’t mean to bore you.”

“You couldn’t bore me if you tried,” Carmen assured her as she placed a hand on her arm, “I mean it. It’s nice hearing you talk.”

“Unfortunately I no longer teach,” she replied, “otherwise I would have given you an open invitation to any of my classes.”

“Well, how about you show me around the place?” she suggested, “we can call this a private lesson.”

At that Julia smiled again, “then I hope your memory is as good as you say it is, Carmen Sandiego, because I’ll be quizzing you at the end of the tour.”

They both laughed as Julia led them along to the next art piece in what was clearly a meticulously planned tour of the museum. Jules kept her teacher face on for all of her little lectures, but as they walked from room to room it felt so simple and casual.

For once Carmen felt like there was no rush and that she could just enjoy her time with someone she cared about. Maybe that was the moment. Her chance to make something out of this and let Julia know how she felt.

“Hey, Jules,” she called, walking a little closer to her.

“Yes?” Julia turned to look at her, she seemed surprised by the sudden closeness, but did not move away from her.

Carmen decided to take that as a good sign.

“This has been really nice, you know?” she tried, her usual confidence failing her, “just spending time with you like this.”

“I guess it was,” she replied with- Wait, was that a blush? No, that had to be wishful thinking.

“Yeah,” she agreed, awkwardly scratching the back of her neck, “and I just feel like-”

It was then that she was rudely reminded of what she was here to do.

“-you have got to be kidding me!”

“What?” Julia jumped a little in surprise.

“5 o’clock, behind you,” Carmen instructed.

She turned to look and there they were. Tall, blonde and scheming, and short, monochromatic and homicidal. The two thieves they were here to catch. Two thieves that had also noticed them.

They both smirked at them for a moment, before Paper Star whispered something into Tigress’s ear and they both bolted in separate directions.

“I go for Tigress, you go for Paper Star,” Carmen ordered as she bolted after her target.

Tigress was the fastest of the two, and the one most likely to pull dirty tricks on them. Unfortunately for her, Carmen was well-versed in all of those tricks, and of course had all her equipment on her. It’s amazing how much she could hide in just a red hoodie.

Soon Tigress had led the both of them out of the main building, ready to make a run for it and disappear into the city. Her mistake though, was going somewhere Carmen could use her grappling hook without worrying about damaging priceless works of art.

She swung after her, quickly closing the distance and knocking her down with a kick to the stomach. Tigress groaned as she forced herself back up, but instead of running again or getting ready to fight Carmen, she simply shouted.

“Come on!”

“Done running around?” Carmen taunted.

“Yeah yeah whatever,” she replied. Well that was unusual, “did you girlfriend catch Paper Star already?”

“What!?” She nearly jumped in surprise, “She’s not- we’re not- that doesn’t matter! You’re going to jail, for good this time.”

“For what?” she replied.

“Trying to steal from the Louvre!”

“Ah yes, because that’s the only reason we’d be enjoying some time together in the city of love,” she mocked and rolled her eyes.

Was she implying what she thought she was implying?

“Aww, babe,” a voice above them called. Paper Star leaned out of a nearby window and openly teased her partner in crime.

Babe?

“She caught you already?” she continued

Tigress groaned again, “not my fault you got easy mode.”

Paper Star jumped down and casually hooked her arms around Tigress’s neck.

“Well I’ve won,” she declared, “now where’s my prize?”

The last thing Carmen expected was for the two of them to kiss right there in front of her, and yet that was exactly what they did.

“I did not need to see that!” She complained.

“You were the one who interrupted our date!” Tigress complained back.

“Do you seriously want me to believe that you two were just spending the evening together in the Louvre as a date?”

“Was that not what you and your little agent were doing too?” Paper Star teased.

Carmen’s reflex was to say no, but… was that what they were doing? They had been walking around, sightseeing, talking and laughing and enjoying each other’s company and- oh god Carmen almost confessed to her back there. 

This was her chance to have a proper date with Jules and it got ruined right at the finish line because of a mission that didn’t even exist in the first place!

She would have time to figure all of this out later, right now she had a job to do and two smug assholes to put in their place. Thankfully she already knew just how to do that.

“You’re right, it was very rude of me to interrupt your romantic evening,” Carmen raised her hands in surrender and backed away, “how about you two get back to what you were doing and I can arrest you both tomorrow?”

“What?” Tigress challenged, “no romantic chase over the rooftops of Paris?”

“I’m sure your girlfriend would love that,” Paper Star added.

“Actually I think Julia would rather just have you behind bars,” she shrugged.

Right on cue the ACME’s blue sleep gas finally reached the both of them, making them both drop on the spot. It was kinda cute how they were put to sleep still holding each other. Carmen almost felt bad for arresting them. Almost.

She pulled her grappling hook again and launched herself through the open window above, landing right next to a very proud Julia Argent.

“Two for one,” Carmen praised, “at this rate, pretty soon you won’t be needing my help anymore.”

“I appreciate the compliment, but I had my partner down there to keep them in place,” Julia replied playfully. Carmen’s heart skipped a beat at the word ‘partner’, even though she knew she meant it as coworkers.

“Always happy to play distraction for you, Jules,” she played along.

Taking another step forward, Carmen felt her sense of balance completely leave her as she accidentally inhaled some sleep gas fumes. 

She tumbled forward, but before she hit the ground she felt Julia’s arms holding her up. It took her a second to shake away the effects of the gas, and another second to process the position they were in. How Julia was holding her like she had just dipped her in a dance.

For a moment they froze, staring into each other’s eyes as they held onto each other, until finally Julia helped her up again.

“I’m so sorry about that,” Julia apologized as she tried to fix up Carmen’s scuffed clothes.

“It’s fine,” Carmen assured her, “I should’ve been more careful around the sleep gas.”

Still Julia fussed over her, readjusting Carmen’s hoodie as she muttered a few more apologies. It took her a moment to notice just how close they were both standing now. The realization made her jump back a bit on reflex, but still she remained considerably close to Carmen.

She took a moment to collect herself before finally asking, “so uh- you had something you wanted to tell me?”

Carmen sighed in relief. Good to know those two hadn’t completely destroyed her chances.

“I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed our time together today,” she admitted, “before we got interrupted that is.”

Julia gave her a genuine smile that made her heart stop, “I enjoyed our time too. It’s nice to be able to talk about these things outside of work.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, feeling her confidence return bit by bit, “wanna do that again sometime? Maybe over some coffee.”

Jules seemed surprised at first as she caught on to what Carmen meant, but that expression was quickly replaced by a playful smile.

“Carmen Sandiego,” she called, “are you asking me out on a date?”

“Nothing escapes ACME’s best detective,” she joked, “I guess I am.”

“Then I’ll have to ask you to wait a little for my answer,” she asked.

Carmen opened her mouth to say that she was more than fine with waiting however long she needed, but she was frozen mid motion when Julia’s lips met her own. A quick, sweet little peck. 

“I want to finish our first before we plan the second.”

[martincart]

What's some of your most favorite random facts about your SF OCs? Do you think the SF64 bosses have... Love lives? Drama? Favorite foods? I'm here for all of the tea.

[Note 1: I will take the opportunity to say that to answer your questions in a simple way, I will make a separate post talking about the relationships and love lives of my SF 64 headcanons. I have written too much about them and their love lives that I prefer to do it in a future post so as not to extend this too long.Thank you very much for understanding my decision, and also thank you very much for asking and reading my answer!)

(Note 2: I apologize for not answering your question before. Very busy but also writing headcanons, although fun, they are difficult to write too lol)

Let's start it:

OH HELL YEAH I IMAGINE THAT!!!!!

I think many already know me as the artist who spends all her time drawing and writing content about the bosses of Star fox 64, and I also admit that I dedicate myself to thinking a lot more about relationships, daily lives and writing ideas apart from their fights in war or as Andross soldiers (Although I don't want to ignore that part either, because I mainly decided to write about them to show Andross's empire and what the character is like interacting with his army).

But oh! I suppose you mean my characters Pluto, Ophelia and others, right? Honestly I like many headcanons/ideas that I have, but I can tell you only one for each of them (so as not to lengthen the answer so much!)

My SF fan characters / ocs:

Pluto Galaxicos is very interested in makeup. Cosplay and drag. This is not only because he finds it to be an entertaining and cute hobby himself, but it also allows him the ability to dress up and sneak well on secret missions together with Andrew.

Barbara Andorf (Andreas / Andross' twin sister), during her childhood to a certain point of her adulthood, had the same personality as her future son, Andrew. She was the same image of a faithful, childlike fan with her own brother as Andrew is with his uncle. The only difference is that Barbara was not able to die for Andross.

Randall Nook (Aquarosa Mechanic and friend of Caiman and Star wolf) has a difficult relationship with Pigma Dengar. It is not that Pigma is abusive towards him out of evil, but the mechanical pig loves to get Randall into his crazy and stupid things when a meeting or collaboration between them if is possible. Lucky for Randall, Leon or Caiman they are there to save him from the dirty hands of the pig.

Iris Halsey (a Meteo crusher soldier and one of Aaron Galaxicos' lovers) sometimes has the habit of putting her pupils across since she is a chameleon woman. She sometimes only does this to scare or annoy her lieutenant.

Moe Sokolova (Meteo Crusher Chief Mechanic) also has a difficult relationship with Pigma, but unlike Randall with Pigma, the two mechanics despise each other. Many of their matches are to demonstrate their superiority or talent among them, fighting who is the best mechanic. It is also because Pigma despises the pilot of the Meteo crusher and Moe ends up defending him by being her superior.

Ofelia Watson (Meteo crusher Soldier and also lover of Aaron Galaxicos) ... she has a great love for dark movies. Horror movies, gore movies, Class B movies, disturbing-themed documentaries. Ofelia is a great collector of these types of films and is fascinated to talk about this content. A large collection of gothic / dark merchandise can also be seen in her room. For this reason Galaxicos is sometimes scared of her.

Marshall Davis (Ace pilot of the Meteo crusher and right hand of Galaxicos) was once a loving family man to his beloved wife and daughter named Daisy. Even though the years have passed since his wife divorced him, Marshall has not been able to forget about his daughter.

Mikhael Fierro (Bodyguard of Aaron Galaxicos) hides a homo erotic relationship with that of his own lieutenant. The Meteo Crusher pilot takes advantage of the bodyguard's sexuality to commit secret actions or missions at his command or to manipulate him. Fierro, despite not being intimidated by the pilot on public, feels a great panic towards him.

Theorisa Bouvier (wife of Aaron Galaxicos and mother of Pluto) was a woman thief from one of the small planets of the Lylat System. Her reason for being exiled to Venom was by attempting to steal a private property from General Pepper on that planet and an assassination attempt while defending herself against him. She thought, until her death, that her actions were wrong and she hoped she could remedy her punishment.

Nera Relian (Attack Carrier's Chief Doctor) was one of the few daughters in a family of Venom roving cooks. She wanted to study medicine and have a doctorate, but the culture and society of the city where she grew up was so patriarchal and sexist that she could never have studies. When Andross came to Venom, he offered Nera and other women to study medicine and Nera was able to fulfill her dream, working in the army because of her loyalty to her new emperor.

My SF 64 headcanons:

Aaron Galaxicos (Meteo Crusher pilot) has been singing since he was very young. His great inspiration was watching the Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs movie. During the Lylat war, the pilot gives small musical shows to bring good cheer and support to the soldiers of the empire (and seduce women * coff coff *)

Caiman Dilia is the first Venomian-Lylatian translator. Before meeting the former Doctor Andreas Andorf and having strange non-Venomian beings hanging around Venom, the young Venomian has dedicated himself to practicing and understanding and translating the Lylatian language to Venomian. This was because Caiman believed that acting in a pacifist way against the Lylatians would be better to understand the arrival of these to Venom. His unique ability served Andross to communicate with the other Venomians in their encounter.

The Commander Cobra Ryota (Area 6 Commander) will look like a reserved man, educated and good-natured, but he has a great appetite, especially for meat. If you remember the cliché of the protagonist of shonen anime eating a lot like Goku or Luffy, then you know what I'm talking about! (Oh, and many times he has a fantasy to eating Pigma).

In his spare time, Fidel Macbeth (Forever Train Engineer) loves to paint the small ceramic or wooden figures of the Macbeth family mascot. Playing the violin is also his biggest hobby and relaxation outside the factory.

Hook Silver (Sarumarine Captain) has a great fatherly personality that is often seen surrounded by civilian Venom children or Andross allied soldiers. It is his rule to never attack minors, pregnant women or commit acts such as human trafficking or abuse. If one of his soldiers (who are considered like a family to his) breaks this rule he is punished with death or exile from his squad.

Osamu Kumo (Shogun Pilot) has frequently talk too much about the Mecha of him, the Warlord (Shogun). It is common to see him clean the robot by himself or give him pampering or kisses as if it were a cherished object, or refer to the Mecha as "my baby".

Granga often plays video games when he has free time or simply when he is bored at work. The video games that he loves to play are mostly RPG, Puzzles, shooter, etc. In case he is playing online and someone decides to bother him, this person will be hacked by the little monkey to get even with that person.

Magno Doenis (Attack Carrier Captain) saw Andross as a great enemy and potential danger to Venom when the scientist ape man arrived on the toxic planet. Years before the arrival of Andross, some exiles from Corneria or the Lylat System came against their will to Venom, terrifying the Venomians for being considered dangerous and unknown beings. For the city of Magno and for himself, these new furry beings were a new plague that came to conquer his homeland. Andross was no exception for the Venomian soldier, but as soon as there was a peace pact and the komodo dragon could meet the scientist monkey, Magno became a great ally of Andross. His new emperor promised a better life for himself and the great Doenis family and the entire Venomian civilization if they succeeded in achieving victory. Magno has a great patriot and soldier spirit that would become one of Andross's greatest allies.

Oh, and because you asked too. My boys' favorite foods!

Galaxicos loves fruit salad. Especially since it is healthy for a man like him. The Meteo crusher pilot is always careful with his physique and health.

Any type of meat is the favorite food of The Commander ... but if I had to choose that is ... Pigma! Ok, lie! The truth is, in my hcs, the Venomians hunt and enjoy the meat of the Dodora, who is a native creature of the planet and that the meat of it helps to strengthen the Venomian warriors.

Granga has a great fascination for sweet food because (according to him) it helps him stay awake. But if I have to mention a specific food as his favorite, it would be the waffle.

Osamu loves to eat fruits or vegetables like Galaxicos. But in his case the salad with vegetables is his favorite.

Fidel also loves to eat dishes with vegetables or fruits. He always accompanies it with a rich orange juice and oatmeal cookies. He is a classic man who loves to eat everyday food but ideal for a high class man like him.

Magno, like The Commander, is a huge fan of the Dodora's meat.

Caiman prefers to eat a sandwich (with meat from Dodora).

Silver loves sushi! Especially accompanying it with beer.

and ... I think that's all I have! As I said, I prefer to answer about the relationships and dramas that my SF 64 bosses guys have in another post, and I hope to publish it soon! Thank you very much for asking and reading this entire post! I appreciate it very much. Please don't be shy to keep asking! :3 

[tlblah]

So let’s track Reginald Hargreeves life bc I need some clarification

We start in the middle I guess.

- he is with his wife in her deathbed, she tells him to go (there are rocket ships leaving the planet)

- she then proceeds to die, and Reggie goes to the window and releases lights from a jar (I wanna know if this is what creates the children but I’m not sure

- We then find out she asked him to take her violin with him and give it to someone who will appreciate it

That’s all we know about him on his home planet.

- Next, he travels to earth. We don’t know if it’s both space and time travel, or maybe the speed of light caused time to travel backward when he traveled to earth? He seemed to land in the 1800s (??)

- He states his name as Reginald Hargreeves and stumbles across an Umbrella Factory I.e the future name (and location) for the Umbrella Academy

We fast forward in time, with an immortal (?) Reggie (though it could be that he ages as an alien but his human suit never does. He could also maybe not age or age super slowly when compared to humans) also what made him such an asshole like damn.

Ok now we’re in the 1960s

- he is that secret 12 illuminati type group. His main interest is the Dark Side of the Moon.

- so i don’t know if he knows human history or not bc if he knew about human history he would have known how to send a human into space but instead he had to call up Grace, who seemed to specialize in primates. Though he does have a serum that gave Pogo a more advanced brain/body?

- question: so he knew about the moon in 2019 but what did he know?? Did he know Vanya was going to be the bomb? Or did he just know that the moon was going to explode and destroy earth bc no aliens would have known Vanya was going to blow up the moon. Which makes more sense, now that I think about it. He knows earth events from an aliens perspective. So something from the timeline after the destruction of earth fucks up his planet. Also when is the commission?? I know they have all the time they want but are they really in a bubble in the space time or are they so far in the future that time has become something that they can control?

Moving on from that brain spiral

- obviously in the original timeline, everything goes as planned

- Grace dies between the 1960s and 1989 bc the children only know her as a robot

- Pogo keeps learning and growing as well

- Reggie is a millionaire and continues to be one the 12 (I’m not sure about this bc the timeline has fucked up we don’t know if he as meant to kill the other 11 or if that happened bc the kids fucked up this new universe. I hate parallel and alternate universes bc you can never fix it or go back bc it’s now it’s own separate strand of a universe)

Zoom past into 1989

- 43 kids are born to mothers who were not pregnant the morning of October 1st. Reggie goes on a shopping spree but it’s not succeeds in getting 7 of them.

- he raise them as trainees with the help of Robot Grace and Pogo

- he numbers them ranking from lowest in power Number 1 to Number 7 before having to mute Number 7 because he could not control her or her power like he could the rest of the children

- he ostracized Vanya, unwittingly causing her to become the bomb at the future date (oh fuck what if Vanya wasn’t the original reason why the moon crashed into earth?? Time travel is so confusing.)

- anyways he raise his children and fucks up perfectly good children.

- Number 5 thinks he knows his powers, and Reggie tells him no, unwittingly pushing Five to over use his powers and get stuck in the future after the apocalypse. Five is now lost in the time line

- Ben dies during a mission, breaking up the team and turns the children against Reggie even more when he blames them for Bens death. They are 17 here

- once they can they move away from their abusive dad leaving Reggie with only Number 1, who follows his dad to tee to shuck off the abuse he felt. Which is even more sad when Reggie sees that coping mechanism as a failure.

- Luther goes on a mission alone, gets injured and Reggie has to inject him with the same stuff he injected Pogo (is that the only thing he knows? Is it from his alien culture??)

- Once Reggie can tell Luther isn’t reacting well to the unwanted body modification, he sends Luther to the moon to both give him a purpose and to not have to deal with having to help Luther work through his pain (like fuck Reggie)

This is where stuff gets hazy. The children lead their own lives and Reggie is alone with Pogo and Robot Grace again for 4 years (the length of time Luther is on the moon)

- 10 days from the apocalypse Reggie kills himself to get the children to all come back home and help avoid the apocalypse (the kids are 30)

- He doesn’t know about Number 5 tho, who is able to jump back just in time, before the apocalypse begins

And that’s where The Umbrella Academy begins

So what are the questions we have about Reggie?

1. Did Reggie create the 43 kids somehow? Was it in the alien news and he just knew when they’d be born? What did he do that could have caused them. Basically what is the origin of the children.

2. What is reggies knowledge of human events. He honestly seemed surprised that they killed JFK so he didn’t know about The JFK assassination. And yet he knew about the apocalypse so maybe he just new human events that affected the galaxy? Or is it that he is from earth but after humanity has been destroyed and aliens took over? The possibilities

3. What happened to Grace? She obviously stayed with him in the past and died before the kids were born, but what happened? And did Reggie really care for her or just her brain? He didn’t seem to care all that much from Robot Grace since he didn’t even give her a room. Was Reggie even able to love anyone after his wife died or is it because he’s an alien that humans seem like puny mortals to him.

4. What made him leave his planet? Is he a scientist looking for something? Is he trying to also fix a timeline? What is the reason he came to earth and why did he feel the need to create the Umbrella Academy?

5. Why the fuck is Reggie such an asshole. Not a real question because he’s just the most asshole person of an alien, but what the fuck.

***** Edit/Note******

The commission never fucking stopped him. The commission must have known about Reggie but they didn’t do anything. Obviously they knew about the real apocalypse since they tried to keep 5 from changing the future and yet Reginald when back in time and live through a freaking century and the Commission didn’t do anything. Obviously he fucked up this timeline yet with just his presence but what the hell, Commission. I mean we hate you guys but what do you know that we don’t. Like is Reggie part of the commission? Are they using him to get what they want? What exactly does Reginald know why do fuck are storylines and timelines so hard when time travel is involved. Bc just this here has hundreds of possible timelines that you can just narrow it down and you only get more questions. Ie

Is there a timeline that the apocalypse happened and Reginald wasn’t involved

Then a timeline where reginal goes back and creates the umbrella academy

Another timeline with other children

A timeline where 5 never got lost

A timeline where 6 never died

Two different timelines where one happened and not the other and vice versa

A timeline that I’ll never believe of Reginald being a decent person

A timeline in The Day That Never Was, where Vanya found out on her own and Allison never got her neck slit.

A timeline where the siblings actually helped Vanya

The new timeline of the Hargreaves in the 1960s

A brand new timeline of the world after the Hargreeves interfered then left then came back in 2019, which is where we are now, with a new Sparrow Academy, a not dead Reginald and a not dead Ben. Also shit, Grace never stayed with Reginald so those children may not have had a decent mother figures they might even be more fucked up than the original 7 (or 6 bc Ben is sweetheart with sass)

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #9- Cops is Filmed on Location With the Mechs of Law Enforcement

It’s time for some gotdang origin stories, y’all.

Back before the war, when Functionist ideology was really just rocking the scene hardcore, Nightbeat stood outside of Maccadam’s New Oil House and had a chat with Quark.

No, not that Quark, the other one.

Quark’s reading an article at Nightbeat’s request about an attack on something called a relinquishment clinic, by a member of the Decepticons. Quark’s not a huge fan of the Decepticons, because he’s got a good thing going on Functionist Cybertron as a rare proton microscope, and even if things aren’t perfect, they’re pretty okay for him personally. At least he’s aware of his privilege.

Don’t be so quick to judge, Quark. Some Decepticons are into microscopes.

He’s pretty convinced that if the Decepticons get their way, they’re going to murder anyone who’s never handled a shovel. This is the same sort of misconception a lot of people have about the phrase “eat the rich”- it’s more about those who benefit from the social structure by way of oppressing others as opposed to those who flourish within it by their own work ethic and talents.

Granted, we as the reader know that shit is absolutely going to go sideways for everyone once the war kicks off, but Quark as it currently stands shouldn’t be nearly as worried as he is. He thinks Rung of all people is a threat, so you can tell he’s really feeling the paranoia of the times.

Hi Rung! Hope you’re enjoying your you-time. It’s important to have that, good for mental health.

The conspiracy convo gets cut short as Quark’s drink gets dripped in.

I mean, it’s all the same stuff, right? He could probably still drink it. Waste not, want not.

In the present day, we set up our framing device, with all of our friends welcoming Ratchet into the fray, as he shows off the fact that he finally color-matched his hands to the rest of his body.

Here’s a little joke for you: a spiritualist, two doctors, an archivist, a sentient marshmallow, a victim of ritualistic mutilation, and the hottest guy on the ship watch a third doctor walk into a bar.

Gentlemen, please, I haven’t even gotten to the punchline yet.

Anyway, Rewind’s set up this little hang sesh for medicinal purposes, after consulting Chromedome on the nature of the brain.

Rung’s looking a lot better than the last time we saw him, in that he’s got a head again, but he’s not really… functional right now. Hence this little meet up- everyone here has had their paths cross many times in the past, whether they realized it or not.

Except Tailgate, who took a six million year dirt-nap. He’s just here for shits and giggles.

And Swerve, but it’s his bar, and he’s lonely, so of course he’s going to stick around for this.

Anyway, those assembled will be taking turns in telling the story they all played a part in, in an attempt to kick-start Rung’s brain back into letting him do literally anything. Thanks to his obscenely large collection of historical documents and footage, Rewind more or less knows the structure the story will take- as shown by his conspiracy bulletin board that maps out everything that will be covered in the Shadowplay arc. The central pin in all this? Well, it’s Transformers, and it’s been a hot minute since we’ve seen the face of the franchise, so you tell me who it’s going to be.

Rewind sets the scene, giving everyone the skinny on the setting we’ll be in for the next little bit.

Way to see the silver lining, Swerve.

Chromedome starts the story off, because he’s a main character in all this, and also if you think Rewind would pass up the chance to listen to this capital-T-shaped dweeb talk, you’re deluding yourself.

In the past Chromedome worked mechaforensics- y’know, forensics for mecha- under a different name, which we will not be learning at this current time because it’ll muddle the already-convoluted narrative we’re about to get going here. Chromedome had the displeasure of working alongside then-desk jockey, Prowl.

Awful geared up for a desk jockey, ain’t he?

Yep. Chromedome used to be a cop, he partnered up with Prowl, he looked even more like a koala than he does now, and he was on the case of the assassinated Senator Sherma. What they don’t tell you is that if Sherma had turned out to have survived the ordeal of being strung up from a bridge upside-down, he would have been charged with food and health code violations for that little stunt he pulled on Quark’s drink.

Skids breaks the narrative flow to get the low-down on Prowl’s whole deal, because he doesn’t know who that is. Swerve breaks it down real quick, while Rewind provides visual aid.

A for effort.

The boys get a little distracted discussing Prowl’s anger management practices, until Drift asks that they move on, because Rodimus is sending him insulting messages on his tiny and paper thin comm because he can’t handle being ignored by his #1 fan. It’s just as well though, because it’s Drift’s turn to spin the yarn.

So, once upon a time, Drift wasn’t doing so hot. It wasn’t the whole “I’m a murderous Decepticon” thing- that was later on- but rather a horrific drug addiction, sense of self-loathing and being homeless. On the day of Sherma’s assassination, Drift was so out of his gourd on circuit speeders, he didn’t even register the fact that he was approached by a pair of robots and promptly beaten by the two of them for money.

Things looks bad for poor Drift, but not to worry, because the main reason for this arc existing just showed up.

There he is, in all his pin-up art glory.

Orion Pax, the mech who would become Optimus Prime, proceeds to arrest Sonic and Boom- yeah, it’s the two guys from Delphi, we aren’t wasting the brain power on creating two new characters for this one scene, that’s crazy talk- and then calls for a bus to keep Drift from biting it due to drug overdose.

Listen to the professionals, folks. They know more than you about the shit that can kill you. It’s why they get paid the big bucks.

(I have no idea what Ratchet’s salary is like.)

Drift is taken to Ratchet’s super-secret, please-don’t-tell-the-Senate-about-this clinic in the Dead End, where we get a taste of Drift riffing on Ratchet in the present, as he paints a picture of a spiritual young doctor who actively and loudly praises Adaptus as he works on a ODing patient. The Ratchet of the here and now doesn’t appreciate this twisting of the truth, and makes it known by smearing his still-wet hand paint all over Drift’s face.

Shane McCarthy slipped James Roberts a twenty to set up a slowburn between his OC and Ratchet back in issue #4. Here, Roberts tends to the seeds of their shared past that were planted in the Delphi arc.  

Drift didn’t take Ratchet’s advice back then, something that is and will continue to be a running issue for the two of them, and the sudden downshift in tone lets Tailgate ask about just what in the sam hill a relinquishment clinic is. Chromedome fills him in, Rewind providing visuals.

A relinquishment clinic was a place where a Transformer could sell their body- not in a sex-work way, but literally, as you let someone else have their spark planted into your vacated frame for a short period of time, just to try out different modes and looks. It was expensive, and only used to get around the fact that only the most elite of cybertronians could alter their bodies, because only they had enough influence to have the Functionist Senate look the other way. Ratchet never approved of the practice, and this is where he takes over the story.

Too bad we don’t get to see what all that’s about just yet, because there are more pressing matters at hand, like the fact that Nominus Prime is dead.

Seems like there’s a conspiracy at hand, and Orion is considering introducing Ratchet to a friend on the inside- and in the present time, Drift leaves to go meet with Rodimus so he’ll stop being a pest. Chromedome picks his story thread back up, bringing us to Prowl’s requested autopsy.

The boys in the lab broke Sherma down to his base parts, labeled each part, and laid them out on the floor in no discernible order. Maybe it’s based on the Cybertronian alphabet. I suppose we’ll never know.

The autopsy revealed that Sherma was shot several times, which we’d already managed to suss out at the scene of the crime, without getting half the forensics team involved, but we did get a little something for our troubles.

More evidence for Rodimus’ Uggs.

No, I’m never letting this go, don’t even bother asking.

The kind of glass that they found is only found in one specific area of Iacon, known as Translucentica Heights, and how about that! Prowl just so happens to have a search warrant for Translucentica Heights. Wow. Way to go, Prowl.

Meanwhile, Ratchet and Orion are hanging out at the monument for the Ark-1, which is the ship that fucked off into space and got eaten by the Dead Universe. Cyclonus remembers. I bet he kind of wishes that he didn’t, but he remembers.

Orion’s very good friend the Senator shows up, and Orion introduces him to Ratchet. The Senator was first introduced in Chaos Theory- he’s convinced that Orion is a very special individual, and had his body altered without permission while he was passed out, so that he might one day carry the Matrix.

Orion is maybe just a touch too trusting of authority figures, unless that figure is god himself.

Ratchet helps create a visage of not-plotting, as Orion and the Senator discuss whether or not Nominus was assassinated by the Senate. Dear Senator says “fuck yeah he was” and it was in no small part due to the fact that the Matrix he was carrying was a fake.

There’s also something that’s going on between Sentinel and the Decepticons, which leads Orion to ask about Megatron and how he’s doing. He’d probably be doing a hell of a lot better if you hadn’t given the Senate that he directly opposes his full name and occupation, Orion, but it’s sweet that you’re worried.

Back with the wonder cops, Chromedome and Prowl are shooting across the sky to the tune of Shooting Star as they make their way over to Translucentica Heights. They discuss the validity of claims that the Institute exists as they make their way over to Sherma’s apartment building, when someone gets thrown out the window from roughly 4000 stories up.

Trailbreaker was right, Fort Max having guns in his legs doesn’t make him special, if these losers are doing it too.

In the present, Drift’s finally caught up with Rodimus in the oil reservoir, where he’s coaxing Grapple like a wounded baby deer through pulling something out of the muck.

It’s Red Alert, and he’s seen better days.

I mean, sure, that seems like the most likely option, seeing as he’s the only non-Autobot aboard this giant stupid ship, and you haven’t done anything to actually gather evidence on what’s happened to our pal here. It makes sense for the knee-jerk reaction to be to blame the dude who blew up Kimia.

We’ll see where that line of thought gets us next issue.

[mychemicalficrecs]

While making the last list (Angsty Frank/Gerard), I realized that I have my own tag for works that give me feels. Several of these are on the angst list as well, but these are specifically works that make my heart hurt. For everyone who needs to feel something, let me recommend:

Frank/Gerard That Gives Me Too Many Feels

Can Never Wrong this Right by theopteryx, 24k, Explicit. Written for the hc_bingo challenge, for the square of 'forced soul-bonding.' It's 1949 and Dr. Way is a professor of Archeology and Frank is his constantly exasperated (and secretly pining) assistant. When their latest trek takes them to South America to locate the fabled Blood Stone, however, they both find more than they bargained for.

In the Music of Time by greedy_dancer, 13k, Explicit. It’s Frank’s last day off before the North American leg of the World Contamination Tour begins, so he’s not particularly happy when his nap is interrupted by a frantic phone call from Gerard. Gee’s clearly upset about something, but the urgent instructions he gives Frank as he rushes back to their hotel room are not making much sense. And why does Gerard keep asking Frank if he’s alone? Frank’s confusion only grows from there. The next thing he knows, Gerard is right there, kissing him - which should be impossible, considering Gee’s still on his way, and talking to Frank on the phone. It is Gerard kissing Frank, though. A blond Gerard. Gerard, circa 2006. And if that wasn’t enough to give Frank the mother of all headaches, it appears that there are actually not only one, not even two, but three Gerards come from various dark times in Gee’s past, congregating in the hotel room, looking for hints of a brighter future. This is the tale of Frank and the four Gerards, and of the afternoon that set everything in motion.

What Ships Are For by mwestbelle, 22k, Explicit. Gerard is most concerned when he finds that, while away at university, his father has taken in a new ward of his own brother's age. But upon his return home, he finds the young man to be particularly enchanting; unfortunately, according to the High Society he lives in, not only is Frank entirely too poor to be considered, but they might as well be brothers.

Bread and Butter by jjtaylor, 18k, Mature. Frank unfolds the extra blanket at the foot of the bed and quietly drapes it over the outline of Gerard under the covers. It’s Tuesday and Frank is headed into the bakery to do battle with brioche.

The Circuit by stoplightglow, 24k, Mature. In the world of competitive motorcycle racing, nothing is more prestigious than the Grand Circuit Tour. Americans everywhere gather to watch as the twelve best racers in the nation compete for the title of Circuit Champion and $100,000. Gerard Way is no stranger to the race. When he was a teenager, his name was practically legend - but after disappearing without explanation six years ago, he's become little more than a relic of the past. Now, at age twenty-six, Gerard is back on the Circuit with something to prove. It's Frank Iero's first year on the tour, but he's more than ready. No one has seen a kid blast through the ranks so fast since Gerard Way first appeared on the scene a decade ago. With a cocky attitude and the whole country swooning over him, nothing can slow him down. The stakes have never been so high. Welcome to the Fourteenth Annual Grand Circuit Tour.

In Repair by autoschediastic, 33k, Explicit. "Shit," Frank mutters, and shoves both hands through his hair. He looks around the kitchen like he's gonna find what he should do scratched into the old linoleum, then looks back at the bot. He gnaws on his lip. Fuck it. He already knows what he's gonna do. He's just gotta do it. Getting down on his knees, he braces a hand on the edge of the crate and leans over the bot. It's dressed in a plain white tee and matching drawstring pants like an escaped mental patient. Frank rolls his neck and cracks his knuckles, shaking the ache out of them before carefully laying his palm against its cheek. He's pretty sure his voice is steady when he says, "Activate." Nothing happens. Fucking shitty packaging-- the thing's busted. But Frank keeps his hand where it is, jumping a little when he feels the surge of energy beneath it. The robot's skin goes from room temperature to lukewarm, then warm. Frank watches it open its eyes, the light behind them adjusting until they're a pale sort of brown. It looks at him and asks, "Am I dead?"

You Only Hear the Music When Your Heart Begins to Break by Solarcat, 14k, Teen And Up Audiences. Frank has high school figured out. His mom has given up arguing about the amount of time he spends in Gerard's basement, and he doesn't actually care if people think it's weird that he and Gerard hold hands in the hallways and go to the bathroom together. The only thing Frank cares about is figuring out why Gerard's suddenly avoiding him -- because what's the point of losing your virginity on Prom Night if you can't tell your best friend about it in the morning?

Fit to be tied by maryangel, 56k, Explicit. Frank is a bartender. Gerard is an alcoholic. They were clearly made for each other. Also, Frank is a werewolf.

Love: The Package Deal by jjtaylor, Frank/Gerard, Gerard/Lindsey, Frank/Jamia, Lindsey/Frank/Gerard, 30k, Mature. Gerard gets a special kind of amnesia. Frank gets to reexamine his idea of acceptable relationship structures. Lots of people fail to communicate effectively, but they all sure remember how to kiss.

Gerard Way's (Vampire) Detective Agency by jjtaylor, 43k, Mature. Pete, in Decaydance Mansion, with a yarrow stake. Frank and Gerard, in the greenhouse, with a plant of questionable origin. Bob, everywhere you look, with a gang of assassins for justice. Vampires, valets, pamphlets, haunted furniture, dub-thrall, disembodied voices, zombie couriers, and sinister rituals.

The Detective's Secret and the Mystery of the Dancing Flowers by jjtaylor, 84k, Mature. Wanted: Replacement Valet for high profile Midnighter household. Must have excellent references, believable reason for leaving former place of employment, all Clan paperwork in order. Experience in filing, housekeeping, carriage driving, men's grooming, bookkeeping, scheduling. Highly desirable skills include: basic gardening, Daylighter legal practices, first-aid, hand-to-hand combat. Please contact Frank Iero for more information.

You'll Always Feel This Way by wakingup, 14k, Not Rated. It's Frank's birthday and he's gonna A) get drunk B) hit on Gerard C) get laid. Yeah, it's definitely going to work out like that. (Spoiler alert: it might not be that easy)

Rock and Roll Never Looked so Beautiful by corruptedkid, 58k, Explicit. Gerard Way is a rising solo artist, set to become the next big thing in the alternative scene. Frank Iero is a trashy punk with a reputation of his own as the frontman of Pencey Prep. When their paths cross, a love story is born, only to come crashing down when Gerard hits it big. As Gerard ascends to the A-list, Frank adjusts to life on his own. He almost manages it - until two years later, when fate puts him face to face with Gerard once more. Everything has changed, but the connection between them is still there. Their story has ended once before, but if they're lucky, they just might make a new one.

What Are You Made Of? (What Do You Dress It Up In?) by stoplightglow, 2k, Teen And Up Audiences. “How’d you learn this?” Frank hears himself saying, words spilling out just to distract himself. God, it’s so fucking itchy, and Gerard is taking forever. “What, makeup?” Gerard says, not really a question. “Do you mean, like, how I got the techniques, or how I started wearing it in the first place? Because technique-wise, I mostly just stole my mom’s magazines and did whatever they said was right.” “How you started wearing it in the first place, then.” The pencil freezes, and then Gerard takes half a step back so Frank can see his eyes. “I haven’t told a lot of people that story.”

[aforrestofstuff]

What do you think the OPM characters' guilty pleasures would be? I feel like Tatsu loves soap operas and Atomic Samurai secretly loves a really popular boy band, like SMAP

Thanks for your request, anon! Sorry this took me so long to get to, you were buried in my inbox lol. But I hope this was worth the wait because oh boy this required all 3 of my brain cells.

Tornado of Terror: As you said, soap operas. She also loves candy apples in canon. But...she also is a HUGE fan of those really cheesy Cosmopolitan magazines that have all of the personality quizzes and the “which hot male celeb would date you” scenarios. She doesn’t fall for it one bit. In fact, she hate reads those fuckers in the same way that people pay to go see bad movies. It’s fun.

Silverfang: Yoga and following along to some cheesy-ass 80s workout videos. I’ve said he likes yoga in a previous headcanon, but he also likes to exercise along to some obnoxious 80s pop while some dude in a leotard instructs him on what to do from a TV screen. He wears sweatbands and legwarmers, too. The whole shebang. He only does it when he’s alone, though. Sometimes he’ll try to teach yoga to his disciples as a way to help them decompress after a long training session, but his workout tapes are his best-kept secret.

Atomic Samurai: I don’t know what a SMAP is, but he’s definitely got some questionable music choices going on considering he’s... well, the way that he is. I’d say he likes to listen to old country, like Marty Robbins and Glen Campbell. It’s really funny because you’ve got this intimidating man from Japan (or a fictional universe basically set in Japan) with a badass katana and shit but inside that empty head of his, there’s just a faint “out in the west Texas town of El Paso....”

Child Emperor: Picking at scabs. He’s often on his knees fixing shit in his lab, and he probably gets burned all the damn time from playing around with lasers so he’s undoubtedly always has a wound healing somewhere. Whenever he’s working on something, he’ll just absentmindedly pick at his scabs. It’s a bad habit and he knows it, but nothing beats the feeling of peeling off an entire patch of that shit. So satisfying.

Metal Knight: Buying books. He doesn’t even read them. He just buys bigass novels with smart-sounding names to fill up his library because he thinks it’ll make his dick grow another three inches or some shit. One of the few things he likes in this world (besides homicide) is the smell of a new book. If he’s feeling particularly pissy, he’ll go into his library and just ssssssnnnnnnnnnniififfffffffffff. He spends an outrageous amount of money on it. If he has anyone over (which is unlikely, but hypothetically speaking) and they mention his library by asking something like “have you read all of these?” It’ll be one of the few times in his life that he’ll feel shame.

King: Reading and writing fanfiction based on his favorite video game/anime series. Nobody knows he does this except his small following online, of course. And even more so, nobody online knows he’s an ultra-popular S-Class hero who’s friends with the most powerful man on earth. He’s actually a pretty decent writer, he just doesn’t take himself too seriously so the plotline to his stories tend to get a little haywire and overly self-indulgent. Let him have his fun. He just wants to be a Sailor Scout.

Zombieman: Singing. He actually used to be a good singer (he sounded like a discount Steve Perry back in the day), but constant smoking really fucked up his voice. He might as well have lungs the size of grapes because he can’t carry a note for more than 2 seconds without wheezing like an accordion with asthma. He’s never sang in front of anyone before because he thinks it’s silly thing that isn’t worth showing off. Play anything from The Eagles though, and he’ll have a hard time resisting.

Drive Knight: He likes to open up panels in his arms and legs to play with the wires (basically a robot’s version of nerve endings, I’m assuming) just so he can feel something. It’s kind of sad because he doesn’t experience pain or the cold or being tickled... (I know what y’all are thinking and you’d better STOP). So he sometimes takes it upon himself to dick around with his insides and dip his toe into what it feels like to be human, even if it’s just for a little bit. He’s super secretive about it (he’s just secretive about everything, really) because he doesn’t want anyone to know that he desires something outside of being a weapon of mass destruction justice.

Pig God: His whole schtick is basically indulging in a guilty pleasure — pigging out on delicious food with no regard whatsoever for one’s overall health. Other than that, however, he does like to collect body pillows. There, I said it. All he fucking does is eat and he’s too much of a big boi to be going out 24/7, so he’s gotta be on the internet/watching anime/playing video games/reading manga during all of that downtime between his stints of doing hero work. His bed is fucking ginormous to handle all of that big boy-ness and on it, he has his body pillow nest. He rests on a throne made for kings. A true icon.

Superalloy Darkshine: Also working out along to some cheesy 80s exercise videos. His hero outfit was inspired from what those ravishing instructors would wear on the television. Well, it was supposed to be a full leotard but it ripped every time he flexed just a tiny bit so the speedo is the only thing that’s left. He’s gotta hella rhythm and keeps up with the music using little to no effort. Although, he can’t go too hard because he’s also a big boi and he’ll literally shake the entire building if he gets too turnt up. Dance muscle boy, dance.

Watchdog Man: Eating too many dog treats lol. Sometimes while he’s stationed on his little podium thing, visitors will leave him little offerings like dog treats and other miscellaneous food items/toys. He never takes them or eats them in front of people, but he often brings everything home with him after a long day just to gobble that shit up. He’s gained a little weight since he started doing it but you can’t even notice it because his suit is hella bulky. Some of it is due in part to stress-eating because being a dog and dude at the same time is hectic, but it’s honest work.

Flashy Flash: Racing shit. Whenever he’s on his travels during, say, assassination missions or hero work, he gets hella bored really quickly. So, to help with this, he’ll often race birds or planes flying in the sky on his way to his destination to see who’s quicker (it’s always him). Sometimes he’ll even play catch with himself by throwing a pine cone or something and running to the place he guesses it’ll land before it even touches the ground. He just does a ton of weird speedster shit whenever he’s bored and he’ll deny it if anyone asks.

Genos: Purposefully putting a little bit too much oil on his joints after each upgrade so he’ll be as slick as a salamander. It’s a really funny feeling to be able to move your limbs with little to no resistance without having to worry about popping or breaking anything. It just makes him feel so agile despite being like, a hunk of actual metal. If he wasn’t so uptight, he would loosen the screws in his fingers to he can bend them almost all the way back (he’s actually thought about it a few times), but both Dr. Kuseno and his 3 remaining braincells attested to that. He just likes to tinker around with his body and see what weird shit he can do. It’s a bad habit because it’s led to a few things being broken on multiple occasions.

Metal Bat: Zenko’s shitty pop music. Whenever he drops her off at school or piano practice, he’ll immediately go home and blast that shit on full volume (because he’s practically deaf from always jumping out of falling buildings and continuously blasting music in his earbuds) while doing chores and the like. He’s one of those people that HAVE to have something going on in the background as they’re getting shit done. He’d rather be caught dead than listening to the OPM equivalent of Taylor Swift because he knows Zenko would never let him live it down.

Tanktop Master: Wearing suits around the house when he’s not even going anywhere. He’s got to wear his tanktop 24/7 whenever he’s in public to keep up The Image (which he has no problem with, he genuinely loves the tanktop ideology) but he also needs to feel fancy every once and a while. So, if he happens to have the time while in between appearances, he’ll prance around in a suit tailored just for him. Because he’s so fucking huge that he had to pay someone a large sum to custom make an outfit that actually fits. He is 7-motherfucking-feet tall. 7.

Puri-Puri Prisoner: Making Valentine’s Day cards all times of the year. Listen, it gets boring as hell in prison. Sometimes the guards will let all of the inmates have a little glitter and glue to keep themselves busy because no harm can come of a little arts and crafts, right? He likes to make cards on the daily just to let all of his lovers know how much he appreciates them. If they express even the slightest amount of disdain for his creations, he’ll spent the next week crying in the darkest corner of his cell block. He also likes origami. Origami is huge in prison because it’s hella time-consuming and guaranteed to calm a busy mind. His favorite things to make are little unicorns.

Amai Mask: Bath bombs. There have been several mishaps in which he’s used a poorly-made bath bomb and came out of the tub looking like Shrek but he’s grown and lot since then, okay? After a long day or a particularly stressful concert, he’ll sink into some hot water and drop a ball of lavender-scented goodness in there. It’s become a bit of an addiction because he’s got multiple cabinets dedicated solely to his collection, but at least he always smells divine.

Iaian: Shakespearean dramas. Kama got him hooked on theater shit and he’s since ripped through all of the most well-known plays. He thinks in iambic pentameter. It wasn’t always noticeable since he’s a quiet, well-reserved guy but his fellow disciples and Kami have recently noticed that he’s developed a bit of a dramatic flair. Even worse, he’s started calling himself a knight whenever he puts on his armor. Everyone prays it’s just a phase but seeing as how stubborn Iaian is, that seeks highly unlikely. Kami is dying inside because he can’t handle another drama nerd.

Okamaitachi: Soap operas, like Tatsumaki. Kama is the most dramatic out of all of the disciples so it’s only natural that she’d like the most dramatic genre of any show out there. She doesn’t exactly watch them religiously though. She’s the type of viewer to drop off the face of the earth for three seasons and come back without knowing what the fuck is going on (because the disciples have limited access to cable due to Kami’s dumbassery and ignorance to anything technology-related), but still cry during the finale anyway because oh no these people are so hot and one of them is deaaaaaad and the other one is that person’s long-lost sister....

Bushidrill: Taking alcohol from Atomic Samurai’s stash every so often. Bushidrill knows what the good shit is and he could buy it himself if he wanted to, but why would he when there’s a perfectly good alcoholic to steal from living right down the hall? He only takes in small doses because, believe it or not—he’s smart, but Kami isn’t gonna notice regardless of whether or not Bushi takes 1 or 5 bottles at a time because the old shit couldn’t spot a purple raccoon if it was 3 feet in front of him. There have been times where Bushi has opened bottles of Kami’s alcohol right in front of him just to play God and he always, without missing a beat, says “Oh, we have the same taste. How neat.”

Fubuki: I’ve said this before in a previous headcanon, but she has a mild obsession with Victorian aesthetic. She’s got a small collection of semi-authentic ballgowns that cost upwards of a-fuckton-of-money each, but anything’s worth it to be able to play dress-up with Lily. Fubuki’s favorite thing is making Lily feel beautiful because everyone has been an insecure teenager at one point and she knows how it feels to not be comfortable in one’s own skin. This isn’t exactly a guilty pleasure because she’s not guilty about it, but it’s almost gotten to a point where an intervention is needed. She’s got so many damn dresses and sooooo much fine china....

Saitama: Retail therapy, lol. Saitama is only good at budgeting because he has no choice given how fucking poor he is, but give this boy even a little bit of leeway and he’ll buy the ugliest clothes (to which he thinks look poppin’) and the best meats without even batting an eye. His entire manga collection is the product of him having little to no self control the moment he realizes he’s got a bit of money to spend on himself. This is also the only time he’ll experiment with cooking because now he can actually afford to fuck up, literally.

Mumen Rider: Sweets! I’ve said this in a previous hc but he has a major sweet tooth. You can substitute salt for sugar in any given recipe and he’ll see it as a major improvement because he just goes absolutely buckwild for anything sweet. His pancreas is suffering, but he believes nothing feels better than curling up under the covers on a rainy day with a heaping helping of milk chocolate. The only thing that makes him feel better after getting beat to shit is a kiss on the cheek and box of his favorite cookies (and some bananas, lol).

Sonic: Like Flash, he also likes racing things. But, in addition to that, his guilty pleasure is doing his own hair in elaborate hairstyles (when it was longer). He’s pretty much homeless so he’s got a lot of time to himself in between murders. This is when you can find him sitting in the woods somewhere braiding flowers into his hair and tying it off with a moss ribbon. He’d never admit he does this because he’s a big macho man and he’d probably cry.

Garou: Spicy chips. I’ve said this before in a previous hc, but he absolutely inhales his food without even tasting it half the time so it’s not even like he gets to enjoy the flavor that much. He just likes the burn because he’s a shithead. He also doesn’t fear death or a torn-up asshole, so he’ll eat an entire family-sized bag of the OPM-universe equivalent to Takis without even batting an eye. He’s been beat to shit so many times that the agony that comes with downing so much spice is lost on him. He doesn’t even need water. It’s insane. Someone stop this madman at once.

[ninjapaste]

Twig and Voltan portraits + information

(Edited)

Twig

Twig is a female forest imp who loves nature and other animals, due to the fact she is literally a walking little tree (her blood is runny sap). She is 8 in imp years ( 34 in human years, but she is mentally and physically still 8) Overall a massive scaredy cat, Twig will run away from a tense confrontation, a startling encounter, a strange object or a loud, threatening creature 90% of the time, but she is always curious at heart and comes across as extremely naïve to the people she meets, many of those being random drunkards on the street. She is quick, jittery, innocent, friendly, empathetic and even playful if its a nice day; a wonderful thing to be around if she does not feel threatened. She loves to roam the forests, swing on trees, play games, travel on nearby trains and explore the world of Dilk. She is obsessed with toys as she rarely comes across them, but hates those that are made from wood. She forages for food in and out of villages, sometimes stealing the odd fruit or veg, since she can't rely fully on her photosynthesis. She travels with newt, whom she had saved while passing by a riverbank, then meets Leopold, and a couple months later, Kneel. Within those months, she comes across Voltan while she and Nox are looking for his father, and they become close buddies.

Background(?)

Twig has (only recently) been given no choice but to go on a journey to kill Kuur, an evil god who dwells in a great cave and is thought to have brought chaos onto Dilk. Phelfs are beings who are given powers by the gods to slay Kuur. Twig was randomly given this title after Nox the gargoyle, a previous Phelf, enhanced these powers with dark magic and used them for terrible acts such as pillaging villages, assassination and even genocide, which was very unlike past Phelfs, who acted as saints and were seen as good hearted, pure, wise and experienced warriors, despite their unsuccessful attempts to fufill their core duty. Nox's spirit was brought to the spirit dragon maxhol, who judges Phelfs as a side job. Maxhol makes an agreement with Nox, only keeping his atrocious legacy and existence known to the people of Dilk and granting him a space in the tunnel of Phelfs if he teaches an animal to kill Kuur before the god unleashes chaos on the world, else he is forgotten and sent to eternal suffering. A reluctant Nox spirit is sent flying into featherfall forest, where he crashes into Twig. Eternally bonded with the imp amd never being able to leave, Nox must comply to the agreement and teach Twig to learn her own way of the Phelf, often attempting to avert from the path and take permenant possession over Twig's vessel. Twig must slay Kuurkals, spawns of Kuur created by the 'Kuur kult' who make efforts to hunt down, capture or kill the Phelf. The Kuur kult believes that ultimate chaos is the only way to adopt full freedom, and so devote themselves to destroy any opposition against Kuur, and have started experimenting with creating a Phelf of their own, bestowing the curse of Phelf with dark practices, whether it be magical or scientific.

Weapon

Twig fends off enemies with the help of her Phelf powers, which comes in the form of a staff. This staff is more powerful than its normal counterpart, and is designed to look like Nox in some way, as he can take over control of Twig's vessel with the downside of using a drained, powerless and plain staff.

Voltan

Voltan O'Dias is a male thunder imp who is the son of a wealthy electrical company owner, Elion O'Dias. In the day, he spends his time lazimg around playing games and working on music. In the night, he goes under the robotic mech persona 'Zeus', who is a famous underground DJ seen as a icon in the developed and futuristic city district of sixon. With the lifelong absence of his father, nonexistent knowledge of his mother and only his bodyguard for company, Voltan is used to being alone and is a little surprised when Twig shows up in his house in search of his dad. He is a year older than Twig, but s lot smaller. Voltan is a whiney, snobby, short - tempered but clingy individual, who doesn't like to share anything, not his possessions or his life, for he is not used to trusting others. He enjoys company, especially Twigs, but does not realise he acts like a self - centered brat to them most of the time. He sometimes gets away with this because he is so small, warm and cuddly, as well as innocent looking, like a cat; plus a weak sense of charisma and the fact he is only silly kid. As he spends time with Twig, he learns how to fight with a weaponised yoyo he designed himself, along with a stylish suit based off of his mech persona. Together, he and Twig uncover the dirty secrets and Kuur Klan related incidents bubbling up across Sixon and the other districts surrounding the dwarf mountains.

Voltan and Twig hava a good friendship: Twig admires Voltan's intelligence and passion in his work and hobbies and recognises that her presence has helped him to be more empaphetic and polite to others, though the improvements are slow. Voltan sees Twig as gulliable and desperate for his company (ironically) and is convinced she looks up to him. He sometimes likes to think that they are together, which could only come true in his dreams!

This was so long; the description took hours to write! :I

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

You have a lot to explain, Shuichi.

NOTE: Spoilers for the entirety of V3.

Y-Yeah...no kidding...

Take your time. We’re not in any rush...

Th-Thank you...

It all started when me...A normal high school student, woke up in a place called the Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juveniles. I was trapped with 15 other students, including...

A girl named Kaede Akamatsu. The person in particular that I formed a pretty special bond with.

When we tried to get a handle on the situation, our group was abruptly accompanied by a team of bear robots, known as Monokubs who exposed us to a "Flashback Light," which kind of work like neuralysers.  When we woke up again, we remembered having ultimate talents. For example, I was the Ultimate Detective and Kaede was the Ultimate Pianist. But then...

Monokuma, this robot bear and the Monokubs father, arrived and informed us that the only way to escape the academy is to successfully murder another student and not be voted as the culprit at the resulting class trial. Initially, we were obviously unwilling to take part in this game, until a new rule was imposed If nobody is killed within two days, Monokuma will prematurely end the game by killing all of the students.

Makoto: Huh!? That’s insane! Isn’t that just a life or death situation?

Hajime: Wouldn’t put it past Monokuma...I mean, it’s not too different from the funhouse, right?

Shuichi: Can I continue?

Hajime: Sure.

After finding a hidden card-locked door in the academies library, I reasoned that there must have been a mastermind controlling Monokuma, and Kaede worked with me to set a trap to expose the mastermind just prior to the time limit. However...

When our trap was sprung, we headed down to the library and found the dead body of Rantaro Amami, an amnesiac who couldn’t remember his own talent by this point. 

It turns out that without telling me, concerned that there wouldn’t be enough time to stop the mastermind, Kaede had secretly altered the trap to kill the person it caught. Rantaro dying wasn’t part of her plan, and during the following class trial, Kaede attempted to uncover the mastermind but failed. After encouraging me to call her out, she confessed to her crime, encouraged me to keep going and survive with everyone and...

She was...executed...

Kuripa: I...I’m so sorry...

Shuichi: Don’t worry...It’s painful to remember but...she would want me to move on...

Although I was definitely brokenhearted at Kaede's death, I soon developed a lifelong friendship with Kaito Momota, the Ultimate Astronaut, as well as Maki Harukawa, the Ultimate Assassin, who hid her true self under the guise of the Ultimate Child Caregiver before she opened up to us...I wish I could say we lived in relative harmony but...that wasn’t the case...

Several more murders took place and several more of my “friends” were executed, but I was able to solve all of the mysteries that the class trials threw at me...but that’s where “he” always came into play...

Hajime: Who’s...”he?”

One of the students alongside me in the predicament was this short boy with purple hair named Kokichi Ouma, who’s ultimate talent was apparently being the “Ultimate Supreme Leader” of a secret evil organisation that had over 10,000 members...He constantly tried to vex me and the others investigations,  continuously lying and obscuring the truth from us for his own entertainment...

Hajime: Why does that sound...familiar?

Makoto: Funny, I was just about to say that...

Kuripa: Guys, let him talk.

When about only half of us remained, we found additional Flashback Lights and gradually remembered that we were students of the reopened Hope's Peak Academy, who were sent into space in the hopes of preserving humanity after meteors began to fall upon the Earth and a deadly epidemic had ravaged the remainder of the population. 

Kokichi revealed to us that the ship had been hijacked and returned to earth by people who were against the project, and that the world itself had been destroyed by the meteors. He also revealed to us that he was the mastermind behind the killing game controlling Monokuma, and he proved it by summoning the Exisal robots that had been used by the Monokubs to keep us in check up until now.

Kaito tried to fight back against him, but he ended up getting kidnapped.

When this happened, me, Maki, and the other students staged a rescue mission with the aim of saving Kaito and stopping the game, but after we used hacking weapons created by one of our deceased friends, Miu Iruma, an inventor, we broke into the Exisal hangar where Kokichi was keeping Kaito...But when we broke in...

We were greeted with a corpse, crushed underneath a hydraulic press. The trial ensued and it became hard to not only figure out the culprit, but also we didn’t know the victim...

Further complicating the mystery was the sudden arrival of a massive Exisal mech during the trial, whose unseen pilot sounded like and identified himself as Kokichi but bore the idiosyncrasies of both Kokichi and Kaito. During the ensuing trial, it became clear that Kokichi was not the mastermind and only claimed as such to stop the killing game. Kokichi convinced Kaito to kill him and then pretend to be him in the hopes of creating a crime Monokuma could not solve and defeat the game. His identity exposed, Kaito emerged from the Exisal and urged us survivors to uncover the truth before being executed.

Kuripa: You mean that this Kokichi guy was able to beat Monokuma at his own game by creating a mystery so impossible that even HE couldn’t solve it!? That’s...jeez, that’s actually pretty impressive.

Hajime: An impossible mystery? Yeah, this definitely sounds familiar...

Unwilling to continue the game, my friend Keebo, using his powers as the Ultimate Robot, decided to destroy the school, which would kill the rest of us with it. He gave us until dawn to find the mastermind, or else we’d all die from the lack of oxygen on the planet. It was me, Maki, and two other people, Ultimate Magician, Himiko Yumeno, and Ultimate Cosplayer, Tsumugi Shirogane. We investigated the school and discovered evidence that contradicted our memories, as well as inconsistencies in Rantaro's crime scene. We further learnt that Rantaro was the "Ultimate Survivor", having taken part in a previous killing game. To break up Keebo and the now revived Monokubs fight, I called a final class trial to re-try Rantaro's case.

At the trial, I found the mastermind. Tsumugi Shirogane was the real villain we’d been looking for the whole time, and she was the one who killed Rantaro and framed Kaede for the crime. Tsumugi confessed and revealed, when we asked about our memories, that our memories, talents, relationships, and personalities were entirely fake, the Flashback Light was a brainwashing device and the destroyed world was nothing more than a sound stage. 

All of the events that we had found out about: The tragedy, the killing game at the original Hope’s Peak Academy, the Jabberwock Island incident, the remnants of despair, the final killing game and everything else...never existed. All of it took place in a fictional world known as Danganronpa. The disgusting truth was that Danganronpa was an anime that got so popular, that it was able to become a long running franchise, and by the time our killing game rolled around, it had become so famous that real people had begun to be used as part of the killing game.

Hajime: That’s completely insane...! How many incarnations did the killing game get?

Shuichi: Our version of the killing game was...Danganronpa 53...

Kuripa: 53!? That fucked up show reached 53 seasons!? How could something that sick and twisted reach so many seasons!?

Shuichi: Because people love and enjoyed watching shows like that, and it gave us hope in even the most trying times. In fact, we were no different...

Makoto: What do you mean?

All of the “Ultimates” except for Keebo, were ordinary individuals who willingly had our the memories of our previous, normal lives permanently erased in exchange for a talent and a fake background. Many of us, including Kaede, Kaito and even myself, were revealed to have joined purely for fame, fortune, or the thrill of the game, and we were far less trusting and altruistic than our killing game selves.

Makoto: You said Keebo wasn’t the same. Why’s that?

Keebo was...part of the equipment crew, and he didn’t even realize it...

He was a walking camera for the viewers, and possessed an antenna disguised as part of his hair, that let him hear the audience's opinions on the show. They encouraged him to battle Tsumugi's despair with hope. Tsumugi offered us a  choice: "hope", where she is executed but we must choose two of their own to take part in the next killing game filling the same role as Rantaro, who was a survivor of the 52nd season, or "despair", where K1-B0 will be executed and the game will continue.

Hajime: I suddenly feel really self-conscious about my hair...

Makoto: I was just about to say that...

Shuichi: Yeah, I know, right?

Kuripa: Funny how this weird hair spike seems to run in the family.

Makoto: We’re...not a family...

Hajime: That’s not important right now. What...what did you choose...

Shuichi: That’s the thing...

Realizing either choice would still continue the killing game, I encouraged the others to not vote, meaning everyone would be executed but the killing game would also end. I was able to convince Maki, Himiko and Keebo, but then due to their desperation of never letting the slaughter and despair, their own entertainment, stop, the viewers hacked Keebo and forced him to serve only as a conduit for viewer votes.

But I wasn’t about to let that happen. I took advantage of the situation and used this to make an impassioned plea directly to the viewers to get them to stop watching. At the vote, all parties abstained, including Tsumugi and Keebo. Tsumugi was willing to sacrifice herself to continue Danganronpa and Keebo had also refused, indicating the audience has given up on Danganronpa. As the remaining viewers tuned out, Tsumugi, completely and utterly defeated, told Keebo to go ahead and destroy the school. He did so, killing Tsumugi in the process, then activated his self-destruct feature and deliberately flew into the glass dome surrounding the school.

Somehow, me, Maki and Himiko were able to escape from the rubble mostly unscathed. And when we did, we noticed this huge blue portal looking thing in the sky...

When we saw it, we considered the possibility that Tsumugi was lying about our past selves willingly signing up to participate in Danganronpa, and about the original editions of Danganronpa being fiction...

And in hope’s it’s where it would lead us, we stepped through the portal and departed for the real world...

And that’s how I somehow ended up here, through that weird portal...

I...woah...

[emile-hides]

I’ve talked previously and vaguely about my everyone lives together and is pals but there’s still a war going on Overwatch AU before. And I said before that everything still happened the same as in game, they just all got together in the end.

And I’ve decided I don’t like that anymore, so here’s a better, more well written, full explanation of the Everyone Lives Together Overwatch AU: (Under the cut because I’m going into how every character ended up in Overwatch)

First of all, the fall of the original Overwatch didn’t happen. It got close, up until the Overwatch comic, Retribution, everything had played out about the same. There were two major differences though:

Jack was in the works of passing his position down to Gabe.

Jack didn’t allow Blackwatch to go after Antonio

As his last call as commander was to officially shut down Blackwatch activity, and announced the Overwatch Special Heroes unit, officially run by Winston, which he immediately joined as the first Hero.

McCree, with no where else to really go, and Angela, who always wanted to be a first lines support medic rather than a stay in base doctor, both joined the Special Heroes unit as well.

Tracer was scouted and questioned before the dissolve of Blackwatch for the Special Heroes Unit as well. It was specifically Winston who asked her if she’d like to join, and she said yes immediately.

Jack planned to leave Gabriel with the Commander position for Overwatch, as he deserved. But before he could, Gabe took matters with Antonio into his own hands.

And by that I mean he walked directly into a trap, all by himself. He managed to, somehow, get out alive, but barely. He returned horribly injured, near death. With Angela out in the field, the only doctor there to treat him was Moira, who, without Angela, may be without any impulse control.

Gabe gained his Reaper-like abilities, Moira claimed it was the only way to save him, and somehow got away with it. With his new found abilities, Gabe figured what’s the point in being a Commander, working at an office, pushing papers all day, when he could ghost into front lines on a second life. He joined the Special Heroes Unit.

Overwatch; Special Heroes Unit became the face of peace among Humans and Omnics. They scouted for new Heroes, and invited any who wished for a better future to step forward and join them. 

After the dissolve of Blackwatch, Genji chose to leave Overwatch entirely, and look for answers about his new body. Finding Zenyatta and learning his teachings, Genji came to peace with himself. When Zenyatta grew tired of Mondatta’s dogmatic teaching, he chose to leave the monastery, with Genji in tow, and eventually join Overwatch, in the hopes to achieve a better future for all.

Ana was still injured in the confrontation with Widowmaker, but she did not fake her death. Instead, she joined Gabe and Jack in the new Overwatch, as a medic. She hasn’t stepped foot on a battle field sense.

Because of this, Fareeha was fully raised in the heart of Overwatch. Because her mother was a medic now, she saw a lot more injuries than she heard stories of victory. Even still, as soon as she was old enough, Fareeha joined the Heroes Unit, and focuses her energy on keeping her fellow soldiers safe.

Both Reinhardt and Torbjorn were offered positioned in the Heroes Unit as soon as it was announced, though only Reinhardt joined. Torbjorn complained about being too old for this and returned home.

His youngest, Brigitte, chose to stay with Reinhardt and train under Ana as a medic for now. In secret she worked on her own armor molded after Reinhardt’s, and took combat training classes. When she was old enough, she dawned her armor, quit her Medic training, and joined Reinhardt on the front lines.

Torbjorn, meanwhile, had returned home, expecting and easy retirement. However, news of an active Bastion unit wandering Northern Sweden forced his hand. He volunteered to take down the bot and return peace to the country. After observing the machine, tracking it, and attempting to catch it in all sorts of traps, Torb eventually declared it harmless.

Unfortunately, the rest of the country didn’t see it that way. They sent troops out to destroy the Bastion. Torb, cursing his soft heart, took the bot to his own home to hide. But the darn thing wouldn’t sit still! Mrs. Lindholm compared it to having toddlers in the house again. With no other option, Torbjorn decided to take his new bot-son to Overwatch, and join the fight once again.

Bastion is not an official soldier, he just lives there, like Fareeha and Brigitte did when they were little.

After a run in with Genji at the Shimada estate, Hanzo did everything he could to track his brother down. Eventually he found footage of Genji fighting for Overwatch’s Special Heroes Unit. Hanzo immediately signed up, and upon being accepted, he immediately begged forgivness from his brother. Genji, however, had already forgiven him.

Ashe eventually found out about McCree being in Overwatch the same was Hanzo found Genji, and she also joined up. Though, her original plan was to get revenge on McCree for leaving, she found quickly she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Everyone was so nice. Like a family. She ended up staying permanently.

Lucio, after fighting Vishkar out of his neighborhood, and becoming a world wide symbol for change, was scouted by Overwatch to join their Special Heroes Unit. In the hope for better change, and the chance to help people, he joined.

D.Va, like Lucio, was scouted by Overwatch, though she turned them down at first, believing defending Korea to be a bigger issue. However, after a one-on-one fight with the Colossal Omnic, Hana realized she maybe able to offer more to the world by fighting for the bigger picture, rather than just the bigger bot.

Deep in Antarctica, Overwatch sent a rescue team to retrieve global climet researchers left stranded in an ice storm. However, once at the facility, it was found the team had entered cryostasis in anticipation of rescue. When the team arrived, there was only one survivor. Both lucky and unlucky, Mei was the person the team had come for in the first place. She was scouted into Overwatch’s Special Hero Unit.

The final person planned to be scouted for Overwatch was Efi Oladele, an 11 year old girl already making huge waves in the advancement of robotics and artificial intelligence. The main problem came from her age, Efi was too young to be scouted by Overwatch, she couldn’t join the army, even as a scientist. However, Efi wanted to go, so she offered them a loophole. She may not be old enough, but Orisa was an Omnic, so her age didn’t matter. While Orisa is the only one official licensed to Overwatch, Efi came along as well, and works hard for them every day.

Soon after learning the Vishkar Corporation may not be leading to the most perfect world as Symmetra once thought, she began to secretly look into other options. Eventually, she learned of Overwatch, and their mission to make the world a brilliant place for all. Satya decided this was the best cause, stole Vishkar’s hard light technology, and signed up for the Special Heroes Unit.

Like Blackwatch, the Overwatch Heroes Unit also looked into prisoners and offered to give them an out. Doomfist, without the fall of Overwatch, was stuck in prison, until Winston approached him with an offer. Doomfist refused, for years he said Talon would come for him. But they never did, and when Winston came with the new of Talon’s destruction, Akande didn’t have many other options.

The fall of Talon also left a certain Spider without affiliation. She was brought into custody, and the severe brainwashing Talon had put her though was brought to light. Zenyatta worked with her for many years though the trauma of what Talon had put her though, and she began to rebuild herself bit by bit, while still working as a sniper for Overwatch.

Other prisoners given a second chance though Overwatch where Roadhog and Junkrat. Roadhog did most of the negotiating before they joined, as he wanted to be completely positive all of their crimes would be wiped away before signing anything. Junkrat was ready to go the second Winston approached him.

Sombra was never imprisoned, she showed up on her own free will. She found the Heroes Unit interesting, and believed her services were needed. She’s mostly there to climb her way to control, but until then at least the bunch is entertaining.

Without Sombra blackmailing the Chairmen Volskaya, Zarya remained on the Russian Defense force, and was eventually scouted to Overwatch for her amazing feats. While she originally wanted to turn them down so she could stay close to home, her family and friends all encouraged her to fight the real fight.

After leaving Talon, Baptiste lived hiding from other Talon operatives, offering medical help wherever he was. However, one day, the assassins stopped. Baptiste soon learned Talon was taken down by Overwatch, and soon after, saw an advertisement for the Special Heroes Unit, and how they strive for a better future. He grabbed a flight to the Heroes compound that same day.

Upon searching though Talon activity logs, Winston eventually discovered their attempt to break into a psych ward. Curious, Winston paid a visit to the facility to see what Talon could have possibly wanted. There he found Siebren, or Sigma, a man he and Doctor Harold had both been told passed on before making it back to Earth.

Sigma had suffered sever memory loss from the incident and isolation. Not only did he not recognize Winston, he had no idea who Harold was. Still, Winston couldn’t stand to see the man rot in a cell alone. He scouted Sigma into Overwatch, mostly to keep the doctor close by, and began working with him though Zenyatta to recover his past.

The entirety of the Overwatch Special Heroes Unit live in one base together. They are sent into the field as needed, and take on missions to protect peace on their own. No job is too big or small for Overwatch’s Heroes. Their mission is and always will be to strive to a better future for all; Humans, Omnics, Genetically advanced animals. For a better world they fight.

[timeagainreviews]

The Chibnall Masterplan

Back in 2018 when the episode "The Ghost Monument," aired, we got our first mention of "The Timeless Child," as uttered by bog rolls floating above the Doctor’s head. My initial reaction to this was dread. In fact, I can even quote my reaction from the review I wrote- "I’ll be honest, I have zero interest in that storyline. It’s called Doctor Who, not Doctor Who was Once a Little Kid Known as the Timeless Child." I got all of that from a single line of seemingly throwaway dialogue. Two years later, it would appear that my first guess was the truth. It turns out that when the Master said "Everything you think you know is a lie," was a lie. Evidently, I knew all along.

If you follow this blog closely, you’ll know that my reaction to the Timeless Child storyline has softened over time. I went from not giving a damn, to being fairly excited. That is until last week’s episode sent me spiralling back into that initial sense of dread. Sadly, this is the energy I brought into tonight’s episode. As opposed to bracing for excitement, I was bracing for disappointment. This is unfortunate as I always try and temper my expectations. I, like the rest of you, would love to be surprised. Even if I am worried about the trajectory of an episode, I always try and keep an open mind. After all, Doctor Who is pretty great.

After last week’s episode, I expected this one to be jam-packed with exposition. Oddly though, this one suffered from its own heaping dose of fluff as well. Once again, the companions spend most of their time on the sidelines. Right away they kill off that Rose Tyler looking girl, so I guess she wasn’t important. Which is a lot of how the episode treats our human characters. We’re given a scene wherein Yaz and Graham have a heart to heart, leading us to believe one of them may be departing at the end of the episode. However, this expectation is subverted by instead having nothing happen. Like last week, Chibnall has opted toward writing hollow character development in place of plot. Because of this, the scenes with the companions felt more like distractions from the actual story.

We get more of this when Ryan, Ethan, and Ko Sharmus are fighting off Cybermen with the power of busywork. Ryan’s attitude toward weapons has shifted since "The Ghost Monument." His interaction with the Doctor has turned him into a bit of a pacifist. Much like Chibnall’s writing, Ko Sharmus muddies this philosophy for Ryan by convincing him to take up arms against the Cybermen. I expected this to play into Yaz and Graham’s conversation, which felt like a foreshadowing of death. Ryan might shoot one of them as they are dressed in their Cybermen disguises, leading him to regret breaking his pacifism. But none of that happens. While it would have been a bit cliched and overly dark to do such a thing, at least it would have been something.

The Master takes the Doctor into the portal to Gallifrey where they stand within the Time Lord citadel. The Master traps the Doctor in a device which may as well be named the Agency Stripper™, as that’s what it, and this episode does to her throughout most of its run. Using the Time Lord Matrix, he illustrates the story of the Time Lord’s origins. All the while in the real world, he invites Ashad, the Lone Cyberman to set up shop on Gallifrey.

The Master tells the Doctor the story about a Shobogan scientist named Tecteun. She was the first of her kind to achieve space flight, which is incredible when you consider the thousands of people that were necessary just to get humans to the moon. During her travels through space, she discovers an odd gateway containing a little girl. She takes this girl home and raises her as her own. During a freak accident, much like Brendan from last week, she falls off a cliff. Damn kids, always playing by rocky cliffsides. However, instead of dying, she regenerates.

Tecteun goes a bit mad scientist trying to unlock the secrets behind regeneration, leading her to do experiments on this timeless child. She even appears to force regenerations on her as well. Eventually, she unlocks the secret of regenerations and successfully uses it on herself. This establishes what would become Time Lord society. At this point, we’re now waiting for the Master to tell the Doctor exactly what we all know- that the Timeless Child is the Doctor. However, there was a moment when it almost seemed like the Master was going to say he was the Timeless Child, which honestly, I would have found far more compelling. It would have informed so much of the Master’s past actions, and his recent relapse in character development after Missy’s change of hearts.

Instead, I found myself rolling my eyes at this "big reveal." It really was that simple. The story I wrote in my head after a single line of dialogue is exactly what we got. We learn that the number of regenerations was placed upon future Time Lords, which is weird because Clara had to plead for the Time Lords to give the Eleventh Doctor more. I guess along with unlocking the secret to the Timeless Child’s regenerations, they were also able to limit their number. That or Chibnall didn’t even think about it.

When considering the wanton destruction of Gallifrey by the Master’s hand, you suspect whatever it was the Time Lords did to this child was heinous. And while, yes, forcing regenerations upon the kid is a bit cruel, they always looked serene (see: bored) while sitting there in Tecteun’s lab. I expected it to be something like Rassilon and Omega destroyed a child to harness her time travelling ability to create the first TARDIS. Turns out, that the thing that really pissed off the Master was knowing that he had a little bit of the Doctor inside of him. While the Master has always been a bit of a maniac, even this felt like a bit excessive.

Back on the Cybership, the humans have stowed themselves away in Cyberman armour. I rather liked this bit as it reminded me of the very first Dalek story where Ian hides away inside a Dalek carapace. While I feel like they could have done more with this, at least they were having a bit of fun. After saving Ryan, Ethan, and Ko Sharmus from the Cybermen, the humans make their way into the portal to Gallifrey. The Cybermen land above the Time Lord citadel where they hover above, ready to make Gallifrey their new home.

The Master does the Doctor dirty and leaves her inside the Matrix to fend for herself, while he goes off to broker a deal with Ashad. We find out that Ashad, with the guidance of the Cyberium coursing through his mind, has created a death particle capable of undoing all organic life in the universe. His big plan is to basically turn the Cybermen into robots, which much like the Master, I found boring. Thankfully the Master is always up to his dirty tricks as he kills Ashad and uses the Cyberium to create a race of Cyberman/Time Lords known as Cyber-Masters. I was a bit disappointed they weren’t called Cyber Lords. However, I suppose the Master naming them after himself is on-brand at least. After all, he did once make an entire planet’s population into himself.

The Doctor is now forced to deal with the new information she’s been given by the Master. She rejects it at first, but the imagery of Brendan in her mind keeps giving her cause to doubt. It’s then that she sees the Ruth Doctor who helps her through her identity crisis long enough to help her escape the Matrix. Her plan to escape is to basically run through every life in her mind until it shorts out and forces the Matrix to release her. This entire sequence is rather silly when you consider the Matrix holds the entire lives of countless other Time Lords. No matter how many lives she had before the First Doctor, it’s not more than the Matrix can handle. What’s even sillier is the way in which they shot it, which was basically by having Jodie Whittaker squeeze her eyes shut and wince while holding her head. I was reminded of hacking scenes in movies where they throw a montage of symbols over the scene to make up for the fact that we’re basically watching some guy on a computer.

The montage is what is really worth mentioning, as it touched upon quite a few things from the Doctor’s past. Some of these things have been mysteries from as far back as the Tom Baker era. I’m speaking of course about the Morbius Doctors. For those of you not in the know, the Morbius Doctors were a series of images projected from the Doctor’s mind during a battle of wits between the Fourth Doctor and an evil Time Lord named Morbius. I had always assumed they were Morbius’ previous regenerations, but many have speculated that they were versions of the Doctor from before William Hartnell. Well, it would appear that this age-old debate can now be put to rest- those were definitely images of the Doctor.

I’d be lying if the nerd in me doesn’t kind of love this. Like I said, I try and keep an open mind. It’s even easier when the concept of Doctors existing before the First Doctor has been around for rather a long time. Andrew Cartmel’s "masterplan," was to introduce the idea of "the Other," which would be a Time Lord on par with Rassilon and Omega that was eventually "cloned," in a  genetic loom into the First Doctor. However, the idea was paired back as it was decided the doing such a thing would reveal too much about the Doctor’s past, thus answering too much of the show’s central question- "Doctor Who?"

Was it too much? That’s really hard for me to say at this point. It’s a bit early to know for sure. It does certainly complicate things a bit. To paraphrase something Andrew Cartmel once said at a public appearance- these story elements are like barnacles on a ship. Each one of them attaches to the hull over time. They seem small at first, but they eventually begin to slow the ship down. Take the aforementioned regeneration limitation placed upon Time Lords back in 1976’s "The Deadly Assassin." While it worked for the story at the time, it gave Steven Moffat the unruly task of finding new ways for the Doctor to keep on regenerating. You’ll forgive the guy for not doing the Valeyard.

While the nerd in me does love that they touched upon some deep Doctor Who lore, part of me was also lamenting the introduction of so many new versions of the Doctor. I’ve got a special love for each incarnation of the Doctor. This is why I love the Eighth Doctor audios so much, as it gives us an even deeper understanding of his character, despite his limited screentime. Even the War Doctor was given the chance to develop. Where will the Ruth Doctor play into all of this? Why did she have a police box if she is pre-Hartnell? Is this “Division,” an actual division of the Timeless Child into multiple entities? Will we get to experience her Doctor in a deeper way that feels as fulfilling as the first Doctor of colour deserves? While I hold out some hope for her, what about the montage of children in Tecteun’s lab? Are we going to get comics and Big Finish audios starring some kid you saw for two seconds? (I kid, you know they will) On one hand, we see the first Asian Doctor, on the other hand, they don’t even get a speaking role. Even with so much being added to the Doctor’s history, I can’t help but feel slightly short-changed.

Speaking of short-changed, let’s talk about that ending. The Doctor’s plan actually works, releasing her from the Matrix’s hold, which oddly also releases her from the Agency Stripper™. Convenient! Her companions find her as she’s lying there unconscious. They managed to find her rather quickly considering the city is in ruins. Convenient! The Doctor finds Ashad’s death particle, which has been shrunk down by the Master’s tissue compression device. I’m not sure, but I think this is the reason the death particle is no longer a threat to the entire universe. It now only seems to pose a threat to the organic life on Gallifrey. Maybe this is because Gallifrey is still in its own pocket universe? Either way, it wasn’t very clear. The Doctor makes contact with the Master and pinpoints his location. Convenient! She calls him to the citadel like it was Friday Night Wrestling and they have their little showdown. I swear if they’d have started making out, I wouldn’t have batted an eye, those two.

After forcing her companions to stay behind on a TARDIS set for Earth, the Doctor heads back to have a final showdown with the Master. With the tiny Cyberman attached to an explosive device resembling a torch, the Doctor decides she must kill the Master and this new race of Cyber-Masters before they can kill all of humanity. Having the ability to regenerate, the only way to take these mechanoids down is with the death particle. This is a far cry from the Doctor we’ve seen in "Genesis of the Daleks," or even "Daleks Take Manhattan," where the Doctor would consider such things "genocide." However, the Doctor gets a total cop-out moment as Ko Sharmus shows up long enough to detonate the device himself. After very little prompting, the Doctor allows him to sacrifice himself as she flees.

This, for me at least, is a longstanding problem with Chris Chibnall’s morality. It’s the Thirteenth Doctor’s weird relationship with guns all over again. As if to prove Davros’ point from "Journey’s End," this Doctor feels all too comfortable with allowing others to do her dirty work. Imagine the scene from "The Day of the Doctor," when Clara is standing there looking of the Doctors about to collectively blow up Gallifrey. It’s as if when she said "I never pictured you doing it," instead of changing his mind, the Doctor would say "You know, you’re right. You do it!” There’s a kind of mean spirited morality lurking beneath Chibnall’s writing. Or as my friend Adro jokingly put it- "I would not want to be his S&M partner."

The Doctor sends her companions and the last humans in the galaxy back to the 21st century. Surely no bootstrap paradoxes will come from Yedlarmi or Ethan making future generations of their own ancestors. Time Lords have bigger things to worry about than time anomalies. Right? Oh right. Graham and Ravio still seem perfectly capable of continuing their relationship, so that’s at least something. I also highly doubt either of them are likely to sire any paradoxical offspring any time soon. Though they are still fully capable of raising the sheep that go on to start the Wooly Rebellion. After finding herself pleasantly surprised to be alive, the Doctor finds her way back to her own TARDIS. However, before she can scoop up her companions, she’s intercepted by an angry Judoon who arrests her and throws her into space jail. I imagine this has something to do with why the Ruth Doctor was a "Fugitive of the Judoon."

After all is said and done, it’s really hard to pin down exactly how I feel about this episode. I do applaud the bold move of expanding the Doctor’s canon to include previous regenerations. I’ve always said that Doctor Who does occasionally need a showrunner willing to put their neck on the line. For better or worse, John Nathan-Turner was great for doing exactly that. Sometimes it’s a good thing to shake things up, and really dust off the cobwebs. Though strangely, a lot of tonight’s episode was very non-committal. The Master could very well have been lying.  Gallifrey could also still very easily be restored by using the Matrix’s memory. I personally would appreciate that as I love both Romana and Leela. The idea of the two of them dead and eaten away by the death particle is rather distressing. While I liked watching Jodie get a bit snippy and knocking the Master to the ground, I feel like a she never got a moment to be the Doctor. Her “Aha!” moment was short-lived and not very clever. She spends most of the episode either locked up or feeling helpless.

Also, where the hell was Captain Jack? What the hell Chibnall? How are they going to just give us five minutes of John Barrowman? It seems weird to introduce him only to put it off until the next series. However, the most egregious of sins for "The Timeless Children," is how utterly predictable it all was. As I illustrated above, I was able to imagine the entire concept of the Timeless Child the very first time I heard it mentioned. I put no deep effort into it either. It seemed like the most obvious storyline. The same could be said about people’s Ruth theories. Some of which were even better. The only way in which the episode could have surprised me was by making the Master the Timeless Child. It was the one point where I really perked up and began to feel a real interest in the plot. But alas, no, they went the incredibly obvious route. This isn’t to say they won’t be able to do interesting things with this in the future. The issue I’m having is that if I am able to figure out the plot just by hearing a single line of dialogue, did I even need to watch it?

[therealjambery]

Long fics rec post is long

What better way to while away the time than fanfiction? Long fanfiction! And when I say long, I mean long, like so long it is three novels put together, how on earth did you find time to write this, so long it takes even me more than one day to read long. I'm irrationally jealous of all of these writers, as I am the type of writer who has a hard time dashing off 10,000 words in a timely fashion, let alone writing anything longer.

I'm using the SFWA's definition of a novel here, which is anythiing over 40,000 words.

These are all stories I've loved, and most of them I've actually got saved as PDFs so I can re-read them wherever I want. I'm digging pretty deep into the archives for this one, kids, so hold onto your hats.

Fandoms: Avengers/Marvel, Firefly, Inception, Leverage, Merlin, Stargate Atlantis, Star Trek AOS, Supernatural, Torchwood

Fandom: Avengers/MCU/Marvel/Whatever we're calling it these days

in deep with you darling by topaz Author's Summary: Darcy could have, under normal circumstances, resisted the aesthetics (however awesome they are, and holy crap are they awesome), but there's an itch under her skin—apparently, nearly dying by giant, fire-breathing robots from space in the middle of Nowhere, New Mexico will start you questioning your life choices. Who knew? Main Pairing: Clint/Darcy Words: 48024

runaways are running the night by anothercover Author's Summary: Clint did like that the photo stayed private. He’s shit at social media, only on it because, you know, he has to be, but even Clint knew it was the kind of candid that was Instagrammable - #queen, #legend, #rawmemama, etcetera, ad nauseam, he’s pretty sure he could predict the comments before anyone actually typed them. (Bucky once said “raw me, mama?” to her with a goddamn straight face and Natasha’s expression of abject horror while she tried to work out if he meant it had made Clint laugh so fucking hard he was certain he’d ripped an organ in half. He still wants to find a way to work that story into his act, because on the one hand, people love it when he talks about his marriage, but it’s hard to find a way into it that doesn’t sound like he’s making fun of their fans, and that’s a big no-go.) AU: Natasha's in a band, Clint is basically John Mulaney, it's great Main Pairing: Clint/Natasha/Bucky Words: 53873

Ready, Fire, Aim 'Verse by gyzym Author's Summary: There's no "I" in "Avenger." Main Pairing: Steve/Tony Words: 63019

Ain't No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down) by spitandvinegar Author's Summary: It's six in the morning, and Steve is heading out on a run when he nearly trips over a bouquet of sunflowers on the front steps of his brownstone.

For a second paranoia takes over, and he kicks the flowers a little, waiting for them to explode. They don't. They also came with a card, which he picks up. The front of the card has a tasteful picture of the Brooklyn bridge at sunset. It's very nice and sedate, like the kind of card you would buy to give to your boss. On the inside someone has written a short message in big, shaky block letters.

I AM SORRY FOR SHOOTING YOU.

Steve sits down hard on the steps. Main Pairing: Steve/Bucky Words: 107076

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail series by owlet Author's Summary: The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect Main Pairing: Steve/Bucky Words: 264438

Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club by sara_holmes Author's Summary: Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club. (Invitation and pending mental health evaluation required.)

"When Steve brings Bucky back to the tower for the first time, Clint’s first thought is that Tony Stark’s pride and joy is quickly becoming a less of a very tall and expensive ‘fuck you’ in the faces of investors who don’t believe in self-sustaining energy, and more of a superhero rehabilitation center."

Boyfriends, compromises and learning to like oneself. Main Pairing: Clint/Bucky Words: 67059

Nobody Lost, Nobody Found by ClaraxBarton Author's Summary: "Look, dude, I get it. You’re fucked-up. HYDRA fucked you up. I’ve been there. But you’re my fucking Soul Mate!"

“I can kill you. I could kill you without even realizing what I was doing. I’m not fucked-up, I’m a monster. I’m a nightmare. You can’t be here. You can’t- All the people I’ve killed- I will not murder my Soul Mate too. Not after everything else I’ve-”

Clint worked his left hand between their bodies and managed to land a punch to the man’s right side, forcing him to shift his weight, and Clint brought his right hand down on the place where the man’s metal arm met his torso - hidden by the shirt he wore, but on full display in the video Clint had watched.

The man released Clint with a grunt of pain, and Clint pressed his advantage, landing another punch to his abdomen, backing him up against the opposite side of the RV and then pressing the kitchen knife he had pocketed while cleaning up earlier to the man’s throat.

“Like I said, I’m not a Boy Scout. I’m plenty dangerous myself. We clear on that?”

OR:

This looks bad, because it is.

OR:

How Clint Barton met his Soul Mate AU: soulmates! Main Pairing: Clint/Bucky Words: 108331

Ronin!Clint 'verse by shatteredhourglass Author's Summary: “Who the fuck are you and how did you get this line?”

“I have my ways,” the voice says, amused. “Don’t worry, I’m just enjoying the view, Captain America.” Main Pairing: Clint/Bucky Words: 63266

Fandom: Firefly/Supernatural

Weight and Motion by sevenfists [note: the podfic by dodificus is excellent] Author's Summary: The pears were ripe, Kaylee told him, but Mal wouldn't eat any of them. They were a present, nestled all sweet and green in a wooden crate that a grateful passenger gave them right before they left her on Greenleaf. AU: Crossover, Dean ends up on Serenity, just roll with it Main Pairing: Mal/Dean Words: 43117

Fandom: Inception

All the World is Bullet Shaped by pushdragon Author's Summary: If Arthur thinks that, just by waving enough money around, he can get Eames to risk his life and reputation to rescue him from a death sentence, he's got another thing coming. So Eames sets a malicious, undignified price on his services, one he can be certain that a man like Arthur would never condescend to pay. It turns out to be the first of many mistakes. Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: 76656

I Seem to Be a Verb by Aja Author's Summary: Arthur owns a quirky hipster science bookstore. Eames is a world-famous mega-celebrity.

Clearly this calls for a meet-cute. AU: Notting Hill AU Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: 93837

In Medias Res by starlingthefool Author's Summary: What's the most resilient infection? What's more infectious than a cold, deadlier than cholera? What lingers in your blood forever?

Love, of course. Mal has always known that. Her pointman Eames may dismiss her for a romantic, but for better or worse, love has gotten her this far. AU: Mirror-verse Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames, Mal/Dom Words: 52662

The Music Makers by mami_san Author's Summary: A. Graham Cole was twenty-one years old when he was killed in action in Iraq. This is the official story. The truth is, of course, somewhat different. Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: I dunno, because it's not on AO3. But my PDF is 451KB so it's over 50k, most likely.

Presque Vu by rageprufrock Author's Summary: Or, "on the tip of the tongue." Arthur meets Mal first. He inherits Dom, after. Everything else is on him. Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: 69588

Wherever You Will Be (That's Where I'll Call Home) [The DomesticVerse] by gyzym Author's Summary: People you kiss in an airport baggage claim and then don't talk to for thirteen months shouldn't be able to exist, let alone make your chest do the things Arthur's chest is doing. There are rules. Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: 74828

Fandom: Leverage

Psychic AU series by Laughtsalot3412 Author's Summary: He had a sniper rifle scoping the girl’s bright eyes and the guy’s smile. AU: They all have psychic powers Main Pairing: OT3 Eliot/Parker/Alec Words: 89955

Fandom: Merlin

[note: look, I don't even go here. I've never watched the show. But.]

Drastically Redefining Protocol by rageprufrock Author's Summary: In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose. AU: Modern AU Main Pairing: Arthur/Merlin Words: 46,059

The Student Prince by FayJay Author's Summary: A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love... AU: Modern AU Main Pairing: Arthur/Merlin Words: 145222

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves by auburn Author's Summary: Vala Mal Doran and her partners, renegades Jehan abd-Ba'al and Meredith McKay, hijack the Tau'ri ship Prometheus and leave the Milky Way behind in search of the Lost City of the Ancients, Atlantis. AU: Space pirates! Main Pairing: John/Rodney Words: 180299

The Price That Life Exacts by cathalin Author's Summary:When John disappears without a trace during a routine mission, people in a beleaguered Atlantis eventually have to try to move on. Rodney never completely gives up hope of finding John, and though he soldiers on to help Atlantis, a year later he still lives every day with his grief. Main Pairing: John/Rodney Words: 63369

Written By the Victors by Spreranza Author's Summary: Caroll, Franklin R. Atlantis Revisited. New York and London, Routledge, 2011. Chapman, Denise. Several Kinds of Genius: The Life of Rodney McKay. NY: Harper Perennial, 2015. Croft, Rosalind. City of Spires: A Memoir. Toronto: The Mercury Press, 2009. Dugan, Paul. A Political History of Atlantis. Oxford: OUP, 2012. Main Pairing: John/Rodney Words: 52843

Tongues of Men and Angels by Mad_Maudlin Author's Summary: When SG-4 is ambushed offworld, an injured Major John Sheppard must put his trust in a Tok'ra agent named McKay to survive. But what secrets is McKay keeping about his mission, the planet, and his own motives for helping John? AU: They didn't go to Atlantis Main Pairing: John/Rodney Words: 58523

Fandom: Sherlock (TV)

The Least of All Possible Mistakes by rageprufrock Author's Summary: If ever a people deserved tasering, it’s Holmeses. Main Pairing: Lestrade/Mycroft AU: Genderbent Lestrade Words: 118096

Fandom: Supernatural

Red by Big Pink [note: seriously, this is one of my favorite fics/series ever and I have the ebooks if you want to not read this on LJ or FF.net] Author's Summary: Something evil is killing treeplanters in the forests of the Pacific Northwest, possibly the same predator that Dean narrowly escaped years before. How Grimm will things get before the brothers figure it out? Main Pairing: none Words: 81839

Fandom: Supernatural/Stargate Atlantis

And All the World Beneath by seperis Author's Summary: Dean remembers Texas as blackland stretching in marker-thick strips of vivid brown and black, broken with the sprawling metroplexes of Dallas and San Antonio and Houston; farms spread with the yellow tops of maize waving in pre-autumn winds, threshers moving complacently through the fields with drowsy men in hats waving at the road. He remembers green and gold fields dotted with cows, half-year calves running on the outskirts of the herds. He remembers these were what he saw between jobs, lives being lived that had nothing to do with creeping twilight and sleeping only behind salt circles and ritual wards. AU: Cthulhu mythos Main Pairing: Dean/John, John/Rodney Words: 67279

Fandom: Star Trek AOS

Leave No Soul Behind by whochick Author's Summary: If you're Starfleet, you spend your whole life wishing you never see an EPAS uniform right up until the moment they become your only hope. Whether you're dying a slow, cold death in space, or a long painful one on some godforsaken planet, they're going to come for you. So count your last breaths, son, and hold on tight. They leave no soul behind. AU: Spock did not join Starfleet, he joined the Emergency Personnel Ambulance Service (EPAS) Main Pairing: Kirk/Spock Words: 258951

The Lotus Eaters by aldora89 Author's Summary: Stranded on the planet Sigma Nox while searching for a missing away team, Spock and Kirk find themselves pitted against a disturbing native life form. With the captain out of commission on a regular basis and Spock struggling to preserve his stoicism, staying alive is difficult enough – but when a slim chance for escape surfaces, their resolve is truly put to the test. Together they must fight for survival in the heart of an alien jungle, and in the process, uncover the mystery of the planet’s past. Main Pairing: Kirk/Spock Words: 93594

Only Good for Legends by leupagus Author's Summary: Detective Spock, born on Vulcan and resident of San Francisco, is assigned to the Midwest police bureau. I think everyone can guess what happens next. AU: Spock is a Detective. Otherwise it's pretty much the same, including Kirk's petty criminal tendencies. Main Pairing: Kirk/Spock Words: 149640

So Wise We Grow by Deastar Author's Summary: "Commander Spock, we have located your son," the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock's face that he's never heard of this kid before in his life. "If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise within the week." AU: kidfic Main Pairing: Kirk/Spock Words: 81248

Switch by Ceres_Libera Author's Summary: The life and times of Leonard H. McCoy MD/PhD … If Leonard McCoy's life could get any fucking weirder, it would be … Jesus, he didn't even want to think what that could possibly mean, because it's already been too fucking weird to make any kind of rational sense. Main Pairing: Kirk/McCoy Words: 230867

Fandom: Torchwood

The Rose of Jericho by kaydeefalls Author's Summary: Post-CoE. When Martha Jones encounters a dark UNIT cover-up in the wake of the 456, it's up to Gwen's new Torchwood team to bring the truth to light -- and save Ianto. AU: alternate ending post Children of Earth Main Pairing: Jack/Ianto Words: 62606

That should keep you busy for a while, right? If you have other long fic recs, let me know in the comments/with a reblog!

[acrobaticcatfeline]

The Legend of Beowulf (Villain!Logan AU) Chapter One!!!

Word Count: 9583

TW: ok so swearing, abuse, torture, violence, Deceit, assassination attempt, homophobia mentioned once, oh heres a big one, XENOPHOBIA! Sort of the premise of the story. If I missed anything LMK

Notes: So. I made this idea in 2018. It was an April fools headcannon. The story board idea has 271 notes. I started writing this days after the idea was posted, and I’ve been drawing the characters just as long. I haven’t looked at this story since November. I’ve spent the last three hours editing it, which is new, I rarely edit more than for spelling and grammar. But here it is my friends. the original headcannon post is here if you want to read it! I hope you enjoy!

Pairings: You’ll figure it out.

Summary: “They lied. Of course, they lied.” Logan Beowulf was a villain. A criminal, despicable. He had released other criminals onto the streets, he had kidnapped the prince, but was that the whole story? Or perhaps is the truth buried under curses and banishment's and fear? Truth be told, he was the aftermath of a scared child in a world where he was alone. He just wanted to fit in, and he found out the hard way that wasn’t possible.

They lied. Of course, they lied. The king and queen, they are despicable, they don’t care what they do to me. I brought back their son whom they don’t deserve at all. I guess this is what it’s like to be the villain in the storybooks. Only these rulers don’t know the meaning of mercy. They aren’t noble and good, they are cruel and uncaring. Why would they though? To them I’ve always been the dangerous powerless Logan Rainier. But I’ve grown. They turned my parents into monsters who threw me away at the drop of a hat, they turned my one friend into an unfeeling fiend in their army, and they turned me into Logan Beowulf.

-

I was 10 when they banished me. Of course I knew it was coming, I was well aware that the thought of technology horrified the royals, but when you live in a world of magic and happiness and you have neither of those requirements, its likely for you to find entertainment elsewhere. I made gadgets. Little gears assembled just so that the little figure would walk. A pulley system and clamp to grab a snack from the top shelf. Such simple things shook the king with fear. They visited my house one morning as I had expected. The king surveyed me as if I was some new creature never seen before. When he was done I was sent to my room which was my que.

I grabbed all of my contraptions and all the pieces I used to create, my closet and bedding, which I had made to collapse into a small box, my secret stash of a month’s rations, a first aid kit, and plenty of paper and drawing utensils. I managed to fit all of it into my backpack and put on my favorite jacket and hat as well as some gloves. My friend, before he joined the king’s army, told me that when I turned 10 the king would come to send me away. I had been preparing for this day and I knew that I would have to say goodbye to my home, but I didn’t belong here.

               -

A decade ago today was when that all happened. Now my 20th birthday surprise was to be beheaded by that same ruthless man, I had fallen into his trap, he had said surrender did he have no honor, At least that’s what I thought. The king routinely came down to torture me into submission. He burnt and shocked and stabbed me to get me to tell him where my home was. He used my parents as ammunition. He used my old friend who had been the one to apprehend me. He couldn’t do it, I haven’t cared for a living thing in this country in a decade. He wants my anti-magic gadgets to work again. The ones I had sold to apprehend villains, the ones I had shut down shortly before being caught. He wants my technology that he’s been shunning since I was born, and I won’t give it to him.

After a good month has passed, the prince came to see me. That young prince, only 15, who I had kidnapped. The young prince who I never touched. The young prince, the fine piece of china that I dare not break lest I become like his father. The young prince, Roman in name, whom I fell in love with. It was despicable of me, he's but a child, but he's the only person to listen to me and understand me for several years, twas near the only choice and still yet I would die by his hand. Such a pity one so young would be brought to bloodshed. Alas he would achieve all his dreams through it, and I dare not stop him.

“ah, I see the king finally stepped up his game. What are you here for boy? Are you the one here to finally kill me? I hope so, I can’t stand being stuck here any longer. How shall you do it boy? Shall you stab me through the heart like a valiant? Or shall you burn me to death? Oh, so many options for you, young prince. You’ll be viewed a hero just as you’ve always yearned no matter how you do it, I suppose. Oh, how I love suspense in a good story! You’ll finally vanquish your very own villain Roman, aren’t you excited?!” I say in complete sincerity. This kid deserves to be a hero. I look at him awaiting his answer.

“Lo-I mean, mutant, that is not your designated fate,” I gawk at him. “you are to become the personal servant to the king.” I pull against my restraints for the first time since I was placed here.

“wait, what?! No no no, I can’t be a servant! This must be a mistake!!! Roman I should be dying today! Since when has the king ever given mercy?! No, this is not mercy, this is a fate worse than death!!! Roman you can’t let this happen, being kept alive in this castle means pain and bloodshed! They’ll torture me til the day I die!!! I’ve been evil but I don’t deserve this!!! Please Roman, please just kill me!!! You’ll be the hero! The one you’ve dreamt of! You’ll save your father from the dissent of his decision! I swear to you this palace, this kingdom will be better off with me dead!!!” I scream. I can feel my voice break in fear and pain that I had been subduing. I can’t live my life a slave to the cruel king. Roman is fair and just! He must see reason! He knows this is a heinous punishment!

“I cannot do that Loga-mutant. All punishments fall in the king’s power. He wants you to be dressed and brought to him, which is my job,” he releases my bonds and hands me soft clothes, likely cotton. He also sets a bucket of water with soap and a rag next to me. “Here m’lord, please get washed up and changed, if you require any assistance, I shall be right over here.”

I weep for a good couple of minutes as I rub off the dirt and sweat that had accumulated on my skin, much of it having been absorbed into open wounds, I'm surprised I've lasted this long, before stepping into the soft outfit which turned out to be rather simply some under garments, black pants, and a long blue and black tunic. As I stand I stumble, my legs refusing to remember their use. The prince rounds the corner once again and offers his hand. I steady myself on my own before gesturing for him to lead me to our destination.

Before long we make it to the throne room where I’m told to bow. Although I have lost, I will never bow to this beast voluntarily. Of course, one of the guards ends up forcing me down.

“you are an invaluable addition to my guard Virgil; I hope you know that you are to become the head guard when our old friend dies.” I shudder when I realize that my childhood friend is to be in charge of the guard of such an awful king. I hear Virge grunt in assent to the king’s proclamation.

“mutant boy do you know why you have been summoned?” the king speaks to me at last. I nod with a grimace on my face.

“well of course your majesty, unlike you, your son is competent. I have been summoned to serve a punishment greater than death due to your absolute contempt of me. Also, might I add that I am to be 20 today, and not only is your second birthday surprise far worse than your first, but that also makes me most definitely not a boy, but a man.” I hiss out all in one breath. The look on the king’s face is disgusted and appalled and I smirk in response.

“you should be grateful that I spared you mutant. You shall not speak to your king this way.” I smirk even more.

“I apologize, I’m just saying that it would be a far better present to be killed by your son. To both of us I’m sure, Roman seems to want that seat of yours more than life itself, if he became a hero for killing me? That would make his year. Oh, your boy is not deserved by you. No one in this vile kingdom deserves the right to even know your son. I do hope you don’t do to him as you forced my parents to do to me. He is a gift. And you are not my king.” The hall goes silent. Roman straightens up and puts up a façade. The king and queen do the same. Not a sound is made, even the birds outside took the hint.

“how dare thee. How dare you think you know anything about my son.” I smile genuinely.

“oh, I dunno, maybe he feels the same about you as I do. Maybe he told me his aspirations of being seen as a hero. Or his hope that he will one day impress you. Maybe he told me he’s scared of being alone and that’s why he never complains when in company. Maybe he told me that he wanted to make your kingdom a better place. Or how you mentally abuse him because you believe that you must not have empathy or emotions as a ruler. Maybe he told me how you are trying to turn him as sociopathic as you and your wife are. Or maybe, just maybe, I’m really good at storytelling. I don’t know your son, but I know that a boy as quiet and reserved as yours must have something to say. I didn’t hurt your son your majesty. I didn’t try to in the slightest. Your son is someone your kingdom needs, and I can’t wait til you die, and your people finally see it.” I say before ducking to keep from getting hit over the head by the husk of a boy I knew.

“you do not speak that way in the royal presence. Didn’t you learn anything in schooling?” Virgil speaks harsh and robotic. I clench my jaw before hissing my response.

“you know, I didn’t get that much time to learn that because, as you might recall Virge, I only had 5 years of it before getting banished. I’m sorry my schooling didn’t prepare me to have to face the three people in my life getting brainwashed by the king.” The king stands up abruptly.

“VIRGIL!!! Take the mutant to his quarters. I want him out of my sight for the moment being. Teach him some manners while you’re at it. I will send your prince to retrieve him when needed. You are dismissed.”

-

4 and a half years. 4 and a half years of this eternal prison and I near died by the king’s hand at least 1000 times. Makes sense, I’m not the most loyal of subjects, and I’m not easily brainwashed into it. while living there I meet Patton, a very nice person, untainted by the king’s evil, and somehow has kept himself from tainting the king’s meals. He is the head chef and ends up sneaking me food most days. However, the king has started to weaken, it looks as if he’ll die before the year ends, leaving our young prince at 19 years old is looking for a suitor, and those he enjoys his father hates, and those his father enjoys he hates. The past half year is the most I’ve ever heard the boy talk. The last time he spoke this much was when I had kidnapped him. the boy is a chatter box when not in the company of others. I assume his father had instilled the proverb, children are to be seen not heard, into him. The prince is seen more as a trophy than as a person by most everyone. I’ve fallen into routine of serving the king his meals, getting lashed for most anything, going and being magicked back to health, rinse and repeat with varying severity.

Then my simple routine is disrupted.

Roman comes to my quarters in the morning per usual but has a different outfit for me to put on than he’s ever brought me before. “hurry and change, we’re uh, the king is waiting for thee,” he stated hurriedly and unsure.

As I change I realize just how odd my outfit is. I’m given tight, form fitting, black leggings, a short black tunic with golden accents, black tied shoes, and a large black cloak big enough to hide me and more. If the all black wasn’t suspicious enough, who in their right mind would give a tunic lined with gold to a simple slave? I open the door to head to the king, when Roman pushes in and shuts the door behind him.

“your highness, what are you doing? I must get to thy king post haste lest I get lashed!” I speak in a formal tone as I’ve been instructed to do with members of the royal family, even as I start getting frantic, the king gets testy when I get there late. He starts messing with my goggles that I made to improve my eyesight before shaking his head.

“I’ll cover for you. I want to, er, try something, can I take these off of you for a second? I have an idea,” He looks down into my eyes, as he has grown much taller than me in years past. I nod slightly, as he is one of the few I trust enough to be willing to be blind around him. he pulls them off and I barely see the magic flying from his hands before I have something else laying on my face and am able to see once more. “hey! Now you look like a noble! Nice glasses you got there Bubbles! Okay um, pack up your essentials in this, ok?” I flinch at the nickname he gave me years ago due to the shape of my seeing apparatus. I also look at him incredulously when he makes his request, but I learned long ago not to deny direct orders, so I pack my few belongings in the small bag. Once I do this he smiles and starts messing with my hair, which I find very relaxing. In a few moments he smiles again at his work before lifting my hood, picking up the bag and then grabbing my hand and dragging me.

“what are you doing your highness? The throne room is the opposite way,” I am confused, what is he doing? “and I really don’t see the point of the bag.”

He smiles and turns to me with a finger on his lips. “hush friend! We’re going on an adventure in the garden! We need supplies to fight the sorceress!” he winks at me and I get more confused.

We do end up in the garden, but at the very edge, in the direction of my old lair. He shoves the bag into my hands and gives me a small notebook and a few bright flowers, an azalea, a white chrysanthemum, and a daffodil. I used to know the language of flowers, but I no longer do and am concerned of the meanings. He gestures out of the garden.

“Logan Beowulf, the mutant who has been held captive in the castle for 4 years and then some, you are being released. My father will hurt and torture you no longer. You are not meant to be chained here. Go home. Live,” he pauses as my horse that I rode in on 4 and a half years ago comes running and guards are chasing it. He casts a spell on me, turning me invisible, and points toward her. He uses his other hand to trip all the guards. “and run for your life.”

And with that I’m gone.

I make it home and it has decayed a bit from age, but is otherwise in perfect condition. My mystics and fae come to me as soon as I ride in, flitting all around me surveying my damage, as I pull out one of my healing potions and chug it. I set down my bag and close my door. I start checking all my gadgets, seeing how they lasted the test of time. A small fae settles on my head and I realize it’s my little Deceit. They were trained to attack humans who sought to hurt them, but after proving my equal disdain, I became very close to the runt of my faes. The little thing starts whispering plots of revenge in fae’lan into my ears. I shoo them away, and continue checking on my creations. My favorite, the one I used to send fear into the city, was the only damaged one I found. The broadcast screen was warped and the wires had frayed. Oh well, I don’t need it anymore I guess. I go and check on all my faelings to make sure they hadn’t hurt themselves while I was away. A few of them had cuts and bruises while some had small tears in their wings, and I set to work to patch them all up. D has the most wounds and I shake my head at them. They are a unique faeling, they have bright yellow feathered wings, and a snake birthmark that crisscrosses their entire small frame. They hadn’t preened themselves in a very long while, causing many of their feathers to fall out in lumps. They also had bruises and scars all over.

“you know D, I know I was gone for a while, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect your well-being… listen bud, I’m fine, they were never planning on killing me. The king is a tool yes, but I don’t plan on going back there any time soon… oh yeah, Roman gave it to me for some reason… no you can’t. You don’t even know how to read fae’lan, how do you know English?” the fae keeps whispering to me. After I finish mending them I look at the little note book given to me, reading through it a few times before its message becomes clear. My face reddens. What are these notes supposed to mean? They seem to insinuate… actually no, it doesn’t matter. I close the book harshly before going to check on the stash of food which is likely completely expired. Surprisingly it seems that my fae have been emptying and restocking it regularly and I pull out the fix ins to make a ham and egg salad. I smile at the warmth of my home. I’ve missed it so much.

-

My birthday. 25 today, isn’t that swell? I keep dreading the possibility of the king walking through my door and dragging me away. My faelings woke me up with a shower of pixie dust. When I get up and changed I see that there is a specific outfit that D has chosen for me. It’s a dark blue doublet, with poufy black pants and the cloak I wore when I made my way back home 6 months ago. I put on my black slip on flats and my glasses. When I walk out into the living room I see a large meal laid out for me, my favorite meal which I rarely get to have, cheese steak sandwiches with a heaping side of potatoes and brown sugar carrots. I swear, these little guys have enough magic to summon me a castle to rival the king’s palace.

I sit down to eat and I almost finish before hearing a knock on the door. I rise slowly queuing the others to stay silent. I grab my sword and raise it as I open the door. It’s the prince. It’s the prince oh fuck it’s the prince. I drop my sword in shock. He looks down at me and smiles. Oop, and on my knees I go! I see D try to attack him, and hiss at him in fae’lan that the prince is a welcome guest.

“hello m’lord Beowulf, happy birthday! Might I enter your home? I have none to accompany me this fine day.” He says with the same bright smile. He’s only gotten taller and more regal. I push myself up to my feet, and sheathe my sword before inviting him in.

“might I inquire as to what your purpose of visitation is? Oh yes, and help yourself to anything, what is mine is yours your highness.” He shakes his head as he grabs a bun.

“m’lord, I am to step up as king this time next week. And though I have many a quest on my plate, my father has passed and my mother wishes to meet with you. It appears you were in fact correct about a sort of brainwashing attached to him. Your friend Virgil wishes to apologize for his odd behavior. It seems everyone who lived in the castle was under some sort of influence other than the chef and you. My father was not a great person, and an even worse ruler. I hope to be a better king. I was hoping you would accompany me to the palace?” he asks, his voice soft like velvet, warm like cider, and light and fluffy like the sky. I frown slightly at his words. I gesture towards D before responding. They straighten in shock.

“you know almost as well as I, that I’d rather die than go back there. However, I will concede if you allow me to bring my loyal faeling Deceit. Without them I must politely refuse, that palace holds nothing but hostility towards me.” I state as calmly as possible. I doubt the boy will allow a mischievous fae into his castle so I’m sure I’m-

“of course, you may m’lord!” what. “fae are always fun to be around!”

Ha. Hahaha, he’s joking. He can’t be serious. No way. I can’t go with him. He’ll kill me.

“of course, your highness. Let us be off?” wait what am I saying? No, no no no! he’s gonna kill me! I barely escaped I can’t go back there!

We walk in silence through the woods towards the palace. D continues to flit around my head whispering about how everything is going to go horribly wrong and I ignore him. I can be gracious. I can die an elegant death. Heh, maybe D will get my revenge before they get killed as well. I’ll tell them to get the queen first, they can probably get one of them before getting caught. I wonder if they still let us have a choice for the last meal? I wonder what I would choose? Probably something simple that my mom used to make me… or maybe that last meal I had with my best friend… I don’t know, but all of a sudden me and the soon-to-be king Roman stop in front of her majesty. I kneel for the first time voluntarily. I bow my head and stand up once she bids me do so.

“m’lord Beowulf, it has come to pass that my husband has left us. It seems as if your accusation of him having brainwashed his people was based partially in fact. On his death bed he confessed that his family had been doomed to curse those around them with an emotionless harshness and that only one who was able to see past it would be able to break the curse. We have since found that that person was you, and I thank you for breaking it” she smiles at me and I tilt my head in confusion but nod. “now the real reason you were brought here is far more pressing. Roman, darling son, might you express your request?”

The prince nods and I can’t help but notice the light red tinting of his cheeks. “yes mother. M’lord Beowulf-” I interrupt quickly.

“you may call me Logan your highness.” I state as calmly as possible. He smiles brightly at me.

“of course. Logan, as I am stepping up here shortly, my mother has requested me find a suitor who will share the throne with me. I haven’t really gotten out much in my youth,” I scoff a bit at his word choice, he is still very much in his youth. “and I haven’t found any royalty or common folk who have peaked my interest. That is, other than you.” Oh. Wait what? He, he can’t be, can he? He’s a prince of a magical kingdom and he wants the one person in the world without magic to be his suitor? I feel my face heat up and hear him laugh a bit.

“of course, you aren’t required by any means. However, we wanted to give you some time to dwell on your decision. We request you stay at the palace for a few nights, to see how you feel. In the meantime, I believe you have someone else who wishes to see you,” the queen nods and I here rapid steps behind me. I turn around just in time to stabilize myself for the impact of a running knight.

“well hello there Virgil, gosh, did you finally grow some muscle on those bones or is that all the armor?” I say jokingly as I feel the warmth of Virgil against my neck. I hug him back before he pulls back with a watery smile.

“at least I grew since the last time I really saw you. God you’re just as short as you were all those years ago. Come with me, we must talk about things, and not bother his highness and her majesty!” he grabs my hand and I barely have time to bid the royals farewell before I was being dragged away.

“slow down virge! I’m gonna scrape the floors at this pace!” I laugh slightly as he stops dead and gives me another hug.

“I’m so sorry lo. I don’t know what I was doing. I didn’t believe you when you said he was bad news, and I hurt you multiple times. I can’t believe I actually did those awful things to you. I am so sorry.” I hug him tightly to reassure him.

“I promise you that I don’t hold any of that against you. You weren’t really in control of yourself. Besides, look at where you are now! You’re a knight in the king’s elite 5! You have everything you’ve ever wished for now V. So what if you frayed a few bridges along the way? You’re happy, and that’s all that matters.” I smile up at him and he rolls his eyes.

“first off, you have the better gig by far dude. Secondly, I never wanted to lose my best friend. If I had known that I wouldn’t have signed up.” He smirks at me.

“I don’t know what you mean by gig-” he interrupts.

“you were just proposed to by the soon to be king. You’ll be set for life!” he smiles and starts walking again, pulling me along.

“I don’t know V, I don’t think the best way to fall in love is to get kidnapped by some nerd in a forest. What if he’s playing me? Trying to get his revenge on me?” we turn a corner and we end up in the kitchen.

“you got him away from his father’s influence for the first time in his life. You showed him what life can really be. I’ll tell you something Lo, that kid hasn’t shut his gob since the day the king died. And 75% of it has been about you. And that’s before I put in a good word for you.” My jaw drops and my eyes widen.

“a good word? What do you mean a good word? What did you tell him?” I panic, Virgil has more dirt on me than anyone else.

“oh, just how sweet and kind you are, how you always know when somethings wrong and know exactly what to do to help, how you have super big hands-” I slap him and gasp.

“you did not say that to the prince!!!” I look at him alarmed.

“I most certainly did. You can shower me in your thanks after we see Patton, Remy, and Thomas, I know Patton loves you and Rem and Tommy have been itching to meet you ever since the curse wore off. Patton seems to be the only one other than you who didn’t get turned into a total dick under the curse. Legit he’s fricken pure.” We weave through the kitchen until we see Patton and two more guys who look identical to each other. Virgil clears his throat as to not scare the three men with butchers’ knives. The three immediately turn towards us and smile.

“Logan!! I didn’t think his highness was actually going to- is that a fairy?!?!” Patton squeals and grabs D and starts cooing over them. “who is this little guy?!”

“uh, pal, they like the term pal, not in the binary. Their name translates to Deceit in common. I usually call them D though. Also, they usually prefer fae or faeling over fairy.” I see D struggling to free themselves and chuckle a bit. Patton’s eyes widen and he starts apologizing profusely.

“oh gosh!!! I’m so sorry pal! I didn’t know I’m so so sorry! Deceit huh? Why’re they called that? Does it mean the same in their language as it does in ours?” he blabbers out while examining the small fae who wants to bite him.

“it’s no problem, they are very feisty and angry when overwhelmed, often attacking and sometimes killing humans they see as a threat through false promises. It isn’t exactly the same, but similar. Also, D! Stop trying to bite him! He’s nice I promise.” Patton nods with a smile while D sits “pretty” with a more neutral face than before. I swear the thing is part dog, it’s ridiculous. Eventually they stop being nervous and start to revel in the soft pets they are given by Pat.

“so, this is the infamous Logan Rainier? He’s so tiny! I would have expected such a feared criminal to be a bit taller. I bet he didn’t sleep well as a kid, sleep helps you grow!” one of the twins says. I twitch a bit at the old name.

“Logan Beowulf if you’d please, that name and family has dead for a decade and a half. Speaking of that family, do you know if they are still alive Virgil?” V and the twins look to each other before looking at me with pity.

“I’m afraid they were executed soon after you kidnapped the prince. I am so sorry Logan.” I shrug.

“oh well. They might as well have been dead to me anyways. Even a curse doesn’t take control that easily. They shunned me out of petty fear. They were always scared of me. I just wish I had been able to say goodbye” I turn to the twins. “so, which one of you is which? Thomas and Remy, I assume?” I gesture at them. They nod. Remy slides down his sunglasses, he’s the one who was talking about me earlier.

“yuperoo, sorry for misnaming ya bro. Remy, the older brother. Nice ta finally meetcha.” He holds out his hand and I shake it.

“you are literally one minute older than me, why do you do this?! Hmph, I’m Thomas, the more responsible brother” He sends a look to Remy who returns it with a smile. “so, how’s it feel to be the object of devotion of the soon-to-be king?”

I blush brightly I’m certain. “I-I don’t know, I feel like we should get to know each other before just getting married. All I know about him is all the shitty things his father did to him.” as I finish I see a moment of understanding in all four of them.

“wait, all of that in the court back then, that was all real?!?” I nod slowly.

“honestly, it is pretty obvious when you pay enough attention. The prince, he would never stop talking when I had taken him away. Not for a second. I think he was word dumping so someone knew of the problem. It was as if a metaphorical zipper was pulled open for the first time in his life. Some of it he specifically told me, like him wanting to be a hero, some I guessed, like him being mentally abused. Did he truly never leave the palace? Not even for schooling?” they all look to one another and nod.

“he was taught by his parents, and sometimes a tutor usually being myself or Patton. The king didn’t trust people talking to him for the most part. Scared rumors would spread to him, was what he always said. In hindsight it was pretty obvious. He rarely spoke back then. I think usually he would ask for something small and thank people and that was pretty much it.” Thomas said resigned.

Suddenly I heard a booming voice sounding like none other than the prince himself. “attention staff, not only do we have a guest of great honor for the next week, but remember that tonight is the royal gala. I have taken note of the ill-preparedness of the ballroom and implore thee all to get it ready soon, for guests shall be arriving in approximately 3 hours. In other words, hop to it! Thank you all, remember that you are all very much allowed to join the festivities, as it would be awful for those who put it together to not be able to join! Also please send head guard Virgil and our guest of honor to my quarters, I have some business with them.” I look at Virgil who smiles.

“gala?! I was not told of this!!! What kind of malarkey is this?! D, stay with Patton, Vir-wait let go of me!!!” I’m being dragged back.

“come on Beowulf.”

We get to the prince’s chambers and we see he has outfits floating around the room. As soon as I step in, one of the outfits flies in front of me and Roman starts examining me and it. he snaps his fingers and the outfit flies into the closet.

“um, your highness, what exactly are you doing? I’m con-” and another outfit flies in front of me.

“it’s simple Logan, I’m finding a proper outfit for you to don this evening! As well as Virgil, because he is a dear friend and confidant of mine, and I’m not letting him wear his armor to the ball, and I know for a fact that that is his only semblance of fancy attire. I really need to get you more proper attire my dear sir knight.” He smirks and goes through outfit after outfit for the both of us.

Eventually he finds us satisfying attire. I get adorned with a black tailcoat with royal blue trim, matching dress pants, a royal blue shirt, black boots, and a blue messenger cap with black, blue, and peacock feathers. Virgil ends up with a purple hooded, double breasted trench coat with black accents and covered in awards and medals, with matching slacks, a maroon long sleeved collared shirt, and black, knee high, heeled wrap boots. He also combs back his hair and is told to grab a favor from someone. When his highness steps in front of me once again, I feel my face darken as his glance seems to be inspecting the entirety of my soul. He smiles and conjures a bright red carnation. He tucks it in my breast pocket before sweeping my hair to the right and conjures a white carnation tucking it behind my ear. He steps away quickly and looks at us both with a proud look.

“you both look lovely. It seems I took a bit longer for you two than I planned, it’s been two hours, which leaves me one to figure myself out! Heheh! If you would, could you go check on the preparations in the kitchen and ballroom for me?” we both nod and hurry out being careful with our new outfits.

“our young prince is quite generous is he not?” Virgil says on the way.

“yes. He is quite… over the top however. Why do I have two different flowers on me? What do they mean?” Virgil snickers.

“oh, have you forgotten your second language? The boy is not subtle. The one easiest to see is the white carnation, symbol for purity and luck, while the red means love and affection. The young prince is also the only one who gives flowers as favors, so everyone will know not to mess with you. Did I mention he’s a bit possessive?” my face only reddens more.

We head to the kitchen and see the three from earlier doing even more work faster than before. Even D is flitting around and helping. Virgil clears his throat and the three look at us for a second before going back to work.

“sorry V, too much to do right now, we only have an hour left to get all this ready.” Patton said tiredly.

“don’t you three need to get ready? Can we help?” Patton looks at us again and nods slightly.

“we can’t have you doing it manually since you’re already dressed up, so Logan probably shouldn’t, but you have stronger magic than the three of us combined so sure!” I frown and pull one of my cooking inventions out of my invention band and toss the toy back and forth before activating it and helping, to the shock of Patton, Remy, and Thomas. In a few minutes we have everything done, and the three are thanking us.

“now you three really should go change, stained baking clothes aren’t exactly gala outfits.” Patton shakes his head.

“oh no, we aren’t attending, someone has to tend to the kitchen while the rest of the staff is having fun! His highness can’t leave everything without staff, the kitchen doesn’t run on its own. But thank you two for the help, it will make the rest of tonight much easier!!” Patton, Remy, and Thomas all smile at us.

“uhhhh, yeah no that’s not happening bud. I will keep this kitchen running bare handed if I have to if it means you three get out there and have a fun night. No ands ifs or buts, you are getting changed right now, and you are going to attend the gala if I have to drag you all by the ears.” Patton argues with him of course.

“Virgil, while that’s a sweet sentiment, it’s not happening. I am in charge of this kitchen, and I’m not leaving it unattended when there is work to be done. And I am stronger than you, you can’t make me leave with you.” He looks sternly down at Virgil with crossed arms.

“hm, true but you know who you will listen to, and is also stronger than you? The prince.” Patton’s eyes widen and the other two gasp.

“you wouldn’t dare. Besides, what reason does he have to care?” he smirks slyly.

“listen, I might have a little sway in the prince’s good book, as well as him having specifically requesting all staff join the gala. You don’t want to disregard a direct order, do you?” Patton’s arms drop and he struggles to respond.

“l-listen, he’s just barely an adult! He’s never worked in a kitchen! He’s trying to be nice, but if his father was ever right about anything, it would be keeping the kitchen staff in the kitchen at all times, the kitchen needs us to stay here, without us who will make more food if we run out? I’ve been working in kitchens since I was five, I might know a thing or two more than him about this! Just- please don’t tell him! It’s for his own good! He won’t even notice! To him this kitchen can run on its own, but you and I both know better!” he’s pleading with him now. Virgil shakes his head.

“you are attending the gala. If there’s a problem his highness can take it up with me. Go change Patton baker. You too sanders twins.” The three sigh and go to change. I look at Virgil once they’ve gone out of earshot.

“you have quite a high status here huh?” I ask him as we walk to check the ballroom.

“meh, his highness likes me I guess? Most of the other guards are assholes, so I guess I’m a nice change. I also have a hefty amount of magic, reason I got knighted so soon. My weapon usage is fantastic, and my magic is OP. People think I had more magic than the king himself, I know for a fact that the prince is better than I am however.” He smiles at me and looks around to see staff members assembling the last arrangements for the ball.

“how do you know that?” I ask curiously.

“he saved you. Once within the king’s radius there was no reversing the affect done to you. He overrode it, it may have only been for an hour, but it was something, and he saved you. If I didn’t already swear my life to him on oath, I would have owed him my life for that alone” He grins at me brightly. “if he wants to be a hero, he’s got another thing coming, cuz he’s one already. I can’t wait to see him grow as a ruler.” Virgil smiled and squeezed my hand, I squeeze back and smile as well. I missed him so much, I’m glad he’s back as himself again.

“neither can I. I hope to be able to move back into the city. I missed it here,” D pulls my hair a bit. “hey, hey cut it out! I like it in the woods too, I just also like speaking to humans ok? Humans don’t live to prank anything that moves. Hey! That hurts!!!” I shoo him off of my head and glare at him.

He starts whispering to me. I shake my head. “listen D, if they are willing to accept me sitting on a throne, I’m sure they’ll be fine with magic creatures roaming around the gardens. I have no doubt. And if I decide not to stay here I will find a place to stay that can host all my faelings anyway” I pat his head and he pretends to bite my finger before sitting back on my head. “you have to behave tonight, if people think I have an unruly fae they will judge the prince and I don’t need that weight on my shoulders.”

Virgil chuckles. “too late for judgement lo. His highness has already been met with much backlash due to his choice of suitors.” I look at him once again.

“who were his original choices?” I ask. Why did I get chosen?

“oh no, don’t get me wrong you were always his choice, he however, made proposals to both myself and Patton out of fear of the backlash of choosing you. But, as me and Pat are already Romantically involved, it wouldn’t have worked out anyways. Besides, like I said, it was always you. He’s the prince it doesn’t matter who he chooses so long as he’s happy. If anyone has a problem with that I will kill them” he laughs when he sees my shocked face. “listen it’s my job. And he’s a good friend, you should know that I’d take a bullet for either of you two. The three cooks too, though I don’t think anyone wants to kill them at this point, considering how hidden they are from the public eye, not to mention how innocent and sweet they are.” Virgil smiles wistfully.

We wander through the ballroom and after a few minutes the three chefs show up all fancied up. The twins are matching in black and red Versailles coats, black slacks, and black flats. Patton is cleaned up very nicely. He is wearing a vest? It’s a white and blue half vest with one long sleeve of light blue color with a thin light blue sash draped around his midriff that is otherwise bare, poufy pants that match his sleeve and a belt matching his vest. His hair covers half his face and I notice that the sides of his head are shaved and also a light blue. He is wearing tan sandals as well. They all look amazing, I’m glad Virgil convinced them to attend. Patton walks up to Virgil and gives him a kiss and I giggle at Virgil’s surprised expression. I only laugh louder when Virgil flips Patton into a dip and Patton squeals.

Some girl passes by us and smiles at us, and Thomas shoves Remy towards her and the two wander off together with the girl hanging off of Rems arm. Thomas smirks at him and starts talking to me.

“finally, he goes and talks with her! He’s been on and on about her for months, and she’s been just as head over heels. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to get me the cute butler! See ya later Beowulf!” and off he goes in the opposite direction than his brother. Patton and Virgil are just talking as the doors fly open and trumpets sound.

“attention all!!! The guests are to be arriving any minute and I request all to be on their best behavior. The festivities shall commence now!!!” the prince heralds to the large room. His mother is by his side and he bows to her before heading up to the mezzanine and looking over the guests. I get a good look at his outfit now. He is wearing a red, white, and gold crop top with angel sleeves and a red sash around his waist, white knee length leggings with a red mid-thigh length skirt, golden knee-high boots, and pure white gloves. He has his golden hair curled so it falls in his face like a waterfall. I get nudged by a smirking Virgil.

“you really do like him, don’t you? You two would be so cute together heheh!” I blush and shush him.

“I was just-hey shut it! I was just admiring his outfit. He looks nice! That’s all! Shhhhush you!!!” Virgil doesn’t stop laughing at me until guests start filing in. His expression sours before he puts his hand on his waist and does something magic. As soon as it left he had a grin back on his face. He steps slightly in front of me and Patton and I notice his smile doesn’t reach his eyes and I’m suddenly stricken with fear.

“well hello there lord Matthew, I thought you were taken off the guest list after the last ball? Don’t you have other parties to crash and reputations to tarnish?” he manages to hiss out with a plastic smile.

“oh, old Richard invited me! I couldn’t turn down the chance to meet the prince’s suitor!!! Why isn’t that him right there? The little criminal? I’m sure his highness will break from his spell soon! What a wicked spell, lasting 5 whole years!” I growl lowly at him.

“yes surely, the one person in the country who doesn’t have magic put a spell on him. yeah that’s reasonable.” I mutter angrily.

“listen Mattie, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave at once. I will not ask twice.” Virgil’s smile drops and he take another step forward.

“how dare you. I have every right to be here. Besides, you’re unarmed, what can you do?” the man tests Virgil. V pulls out a dagger from his waist. He looks over at me and gestures toward the prince.

“you two, please go see the prince. I’m sure he’ll want to know of this.” With that I grab Patton’s hand and run up to Roman. When he sees us, he smiles until he realizes something is wrong.

“what is the matter? No, you can stop running, what’s wrong?” Patton rushes to speak.

“well-uh, so uh, lord Matthew is here, and refused to leave, and Virgil just pulled a knife on him, and he said you needed to know-” before Patton completely finishes Roman is walking down to where Virgil is. Of course, walking, he isn’t scared, he’s calm and in control. We both follow behind at a safe distance.

“lord Matthew! So kind of you to show! I’m sure lord Richard invited you? Virgil please unarm yourself, there shall be no need for violence.” He walks towards them with a sort of swagger in his step. The man sneers.

“I wouldn’t miss meeting your suitor for the world my princess. Yes, lord Richard did invite me! How did you know?!” there was a twitch felt through the room at the use of the term princess. Virgil nearly jumped him there and then, but Roman gave him a stern look.

“oh, it was just a guess! The only other person to get thrown out of a ball other than you! Listen dear lord, my dearest lord, I must ask you to leave, I don’t stand for the harassment of my guardsmen. Virgil would you-” Matthew laughs, interrupting the prince.

“oh no, if anyone hear is leaving, it will be you! We can’t have a gay man as our king! Let alone have a villain upon our throne! No, I shall be taking that throne tonight.” He summons a sword and points it at the prince. I feel myself moving before I fully realize what I’m doing. I pull out my collapsible sword and wrap it around his neck.

“I think you might want to rethink that. Another move and you’re dead, trust me I have no qualms, as you said I’m a villain.” The man drops his sword and falls to his knees. I pull my cuffs out of my storage band and cuff him before putting the sword away. I look up to see all eyes trained on me and my wrist. Someone jumps out and grabs my wrist and pulls on it, causing me to groan in pain.

“what is this?! This is dangerous! Why do you have this?!” I groan again before pulling my arm free.

“It’s connected to my arm. I made it a few years ago, it holds my inventions. It’s no more dangerous than magic swords appearing out of thin air. Also please refrain from touching me.” I glare in the random persons direction. They glare back.

“well you’ll have to take it off. No weapons are allowed in the palace!” I scoff and turn fully towards him.

“listen, first, priorities, you should get some, second, it’s much easier to notice me pulling from my wrist, I’d have another weapon at my neck before I’d be able to do anything, third, what do you think this guy just did?! You should be thanking me not harassing me, fourth, there is no way to detach it. I made it that way, and fifth, I only have like, four weapons in here, the rest is far more important. If you have a problem, you can figure out how to get it off yourself” He looks at the prince likely trying to get sympathy and backing down when he sees he has none. I turn towards Roman once again and bow. “your highness, I apologize for breaking one of your rules, however, my mind went into panic mode. I hope you can forgive me.” He tells me to stand and smiles.

“you have been forgiven, if you were not I would be petty. However, I will have to take a look at that band later. Virgil might you escort lord Matthew into the dungeon? Thank you! Now everyone, please do continue to enjoy the festivities!!! No need to worry, the situation is being handled. Might I speak to you Logan?” as Virgil walks off with the man, and Patton goes over to the twins who had grouped together again, I nod. Nothing better to do I guess.

“of course, your highness. Please lead the way” We head back upstairs and sit down on a bench and start talking about random things before I bring up the topic we were both avoiding. “so, uh, was this the first time something like that was pulled?” I ask quietly and I’m met with a sigh as he leans back on his hands.

“no. most definitely not. I’ve had countless since I came out to the people. for the most part people are accepting, however, there are a handful who aren’t. First one to be at such a big event though. Usually assassins. It’s weird, my father never had anyone attempt to kill him, I guess it must have been his curse at work. There were a few who tried to kill me when I was younger as well, but Virgil hasn’t failed to protect me since he started out here. I honestly wish I had friends like him when I was younger.” He rambles and I frown slightly.

“I’m sorry Roman. You are by far a better person than your father. I want to protect you… and um, I uh, I didn’t need a week to find my answer by the way. I mean, you can still take it back! There are far more men who would be better! And uh, you don’t have to choose me, I don’t deserve to be happy with you, I kidnapped you for god sake! You really-” he interrupts me by just smiling. I lose my words somewhere in my throat.

“listen Logan, you are most definitely who I wish to stand by my side. You were not my choice out of convenience, or out of pure lust. You saved me. You saved me from something that was slowly killing me, and it had almost won. Can I confide in you? I was to be dead in a week when you took me. I had plan after plan to die that following week. You saved me that day, and I’m so sorry that it took me as long as it did to return the favor.” I feel my face flush and he giggles.

“I-I don’t know what to say, I had no idea, you had seemed for the most part just happy.” I admit, looking away slightly.

“no one did. I think the only people at the time who would have cared would have been the twins, Patton, Virgil, and my mother. But that’s old news now, irrelevant. Listen, if you do in fact accept my proposal, would you mind if I kissed you?” my face only feels hotter when he asks that. Instead of speaking, because I’m sure my voice will betray me, I nod firmly.

He leans in rather slowly as if giving me a chance to leave if I choose. When our lips finally touch it’s soft and slow and mind-blowing. I feel my pulse quicken and the urge to just lose myself. I realize that all those stories of having to breathe stopping a kiss were completely false. It starts “heating up” I think is the term? And he wraps his arms around my waist and I panic for a second trying to figure out what to do with my arms before setting them on his shoulders. Almost as soon as I had done that he bit my lip. I gasp and am ready to pull away when he... sticks his tongue in my mouth? I don’t-what? I mean it feels fantastic, don’t get me wrong but- oh ok. I have no idea what is happening but it feels amazing I don’t want it to stop? Unfortunately, that’s exactly when he does. He pulls away with a loopy grin and a look in his eyes that is heart stopping. Not literally but-you know what I mean! I am pretty sure at this point my whole face is completely red. I shakily adjust my glasses before looking away shyly. God why am I so timid?! I just want to be normal for once! I notice that the rest of the ballroom is waving slightly. Huh. Interesting.

“I wanted a bit of privacy. It’s an illusionary wall. To everyone else we were just sitting and talking. I’m sure Virgil already knows its fake by now, I’ve used this trick countless times. Do you mind if I touch you?” I feel my heart melt. What did I do to deserve someone like him falling in love with me?

“of course, Roman. I’m only uncomfortable with strangers and those I don’t trust touching me. I um, I also wouldn’t mind um, doing that-that thing we just did? Again. It was quite uh, p-pleasant.” I sound like an idiot he’s going to hate me god why do I do this?

“hey, Bubbles. Calm down that mind of yours,” he rests his palm on my cheek and I subconsciously lean into it. “I can see you thinking up a storm in there. Relax. And I would also love to do that again if you don’t mind.” I nearly dive into the kiss. I cant believe this is happening, am-am I finally getting my happily ever after?

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