#(Like now. Sister you have to participate in the screaming. No I don't care you have never read a page of the sskk manga that's irrelevant)

[kyouka-supremacy]

WHY ARE YOU SO NORMAL GO WATCH THE TRAILER AND BE INSANE LIKE THE REST OF US

So sorry sir. Back on duty 🫡

[houpss]

Relationships with SKZ

🧊–return to masterlist ¡! ✥

BANG CHAN+HWANG LILY (Chanly):

To begin with, she was deeply in love with him and Now she feels great affection for him, she literally cannot live without him for a second.

She literally fell in love with Chan because he was so kind to her while they were trainees.

Very cute and soft duet.

Lily helped Chan a lot with his self-esteem and self-acceptance, they did a great job together.

And Chan is always there when Lily has anxiety attacks or panic attacks, he's always there.

She is his regular guest in the Chan's room (more on that later)

Very popular pairing!!! (hyunlix, minsung and chanly almost three main ways )

She cried every time he said something bad to himself.

She takes him shopping, because Chan doesn’t really like this business.

The NOT funniest jokes that only they laugh at .

Mmm, she loves Chan's curls, plays with them every chance she gets.

bro...they're literally dating, don't you get it? THEY'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP

How did it happen?

Literally one phrase from Lily one cold and bad evening changed everything

Nicknames for the Chan (in phone):Channie wife 🌹

Nicknames for the Lily (in phone): Teddy Lily 🐻❤️

LEE KNOW+HWANG LILY (Limin):

Minho was extremely annoyed that Lily would be in a MAN group.

Constant joint training brought them closer, very close.

In front of the cameras, they tease each other and literally mock each other, but outside the cameras...

Outside of cameras and public life, they are together, they love each other

bro...they are like brother and sister. they love each other so much

Lily is very attracted to him

Dance duet. THEY DANCED THE TROUBLE MAKER (what Hyunjin and Minho danced)

Small acts of caring.

He holds her hand in public, this is the norm.

They watch anime or cook together (that's why they live in the same dorm)

So much sarcasm.

Lily mom sunidunidori.

A couple of volunteers and a couple of sincerity

Nicknames for Lee Know (in phone): cat lover 🐈‍⬛

Nicknames for Lily (in phone): annoying lady 👾

SEO CHANGBIN+HWANG LILY (Binli):

THEY BECAME FRIENDS RIGHT AFTER CHANGBIN JOINED JYP.

Lily can just walk up to him and start screaming and Changbin will scream back.

They eat together and always eat.

She makes fun of Changbin because of his height, and Changbin is indignant.

Changbin steals Lily's cookies.

the noisiest in the group and in the company.

Changbinie teaches Lily women's choreography.

Lily dies at the sight of his muscles.

"My little dwaekki is lives in the gym???"

They're just fun and noisy.

Sometimes they write song lyrics together.

Nicknames for Changbin (in phone):Changbin 🐽🐰

Nicknames for Lily (in phone):LILYYYY ❤️

HWANG HYUNJIN+HWANG LILY (Lyhyun):

We disliked each other a little before debut.

But this immediately passed when the survival show began.

So aesthetic and flirty together 🫦

Hyunjin has a collection of Lily's portraits.

She makes hairstyles out of his hair, but Lily's favorite hairstyle is TWO TAIL ON THE SIDE (I’m dying, girls)

Hyunjin doesn't like to be touched a lot, but she's allowed.

She protects him from all the hate 🥺🥺

So beautiful and their interactions are going viral on social media.

Lily often watches Hyunjin draw, it's just so cozy.

THEIR HANDS DIFFERENCE.. Hyunjin's arms are 20.5 cm, and Lily's are 16.5.

He kissed her once on the cheek at a concert (oh my god, how the fans love it)

"My world is your peace of mind, and I am your protection"

Nicknames for Hyunjin (in phone): Mr.Hwang

Nicknames for Lily (in phone):Mrs.Hwang

HAN JISUNG+HWANG LILY (Lisung):

These bro jokers of the group.

They both have mental problems...

They write sad lyrical songs together.

Sweet tooth and of course the leaders of the sunny trio.

He's so chaotic and she's calm.

There are paired rings and paired T-shirts, the participants consider their T-shirts to be cringe, but they like it.

A very noisy duet part 2

Lily Paints Jisung's Nails.

They walk together to refresh their minds and get back to normal.

Walking with dogs is possible!

High notes are their place of comfort.

They didn't communicate during their trainee days.

Nicknames for Jisung (in phone): Squirrel 🌙

Nicknames for Lily (in phone): Lily ily

LEE FELIX+HWANG LILY (Lilix):

HER LITTLE BOY LIX 🥺🥺🥺

completes the sunny trio.

UBUBUBU LILY IS VERY GENTLE AND CAREFUL WITH HIM.

they bake desserts together!

Felix arranges ASMR sessions for Lily.

She saw his abs and went crazy.

Literally two kittens.

Lily's soft voice and Felix's bass....

They have several covers and songs together and maybe stay will hear them.

She was very careful and gentle with him during her trainee days, because Felix was very shy and afraid.

HE IS HER SUNSHINE:(((

They're soulmates, okay?

The second most popular pairing is with Lily (Chanly is in first place, and Limin is in third)

Nicknames for Felix (in phone): Bby sunny 🥺🩷

Nicknames for Lily (in phone): Kitten soo 😼

KIM SEUNGMIN+HWANG LILY (Seungly):

Okay...he's a pain in her ass.

SHE BARKED AROUND HIM ONCE (he thinks she's weird)

Lily loves his vocals and his voice.

Seungmin mocks Lily, but he also knows how to care.

Seungmin teaches Lily to play baseball, but she is not a very good player.

He takes photos of her, because according to Lily, Seungmin takes the best photos.

Snarky #1

When she is anxious, he brings her some soft toy and leaves.

But then the boy always finds out how she feels.

DAY6 FANS

Let Seungmin smile so widely next to Lily

Nicknames for Seungmin (in phone): Don't pick up the phone

Nicknames for Lily (in phone): Lily bear

I.N+HWANG LILY (Lijeon):

Her sweet child!

But, I want to say that Jeongin is 23 (!) and he is such a protection and support for Lily, he loves her very much 🥺

They go to Busan together and hang out there

Jeongin's family considers Lily their daughter (problems in Lily's family)

Jeongin is so handsome and sweet, Lily loves his company

He repeatedly selected looks and outfits for her for some outings and she did the same for him.

Jeongin allows Lily to hug him WITHOUT PROBLEMS AND NOT LIKE WITH THE OTHER MEMBERS.

Literally helped him with his homework

They have a card (which all the Stays fight for) where they are hugging and they are wearing pale pink outfits

They watch dramas at night (Chan scolds them for this).

Nicknames for Jeongin (in phone): millionaire guy

Nicknames for Lily (in phone): beautiful bear 🐻🫂

[bvidzsoo]

Forget-me-not

⫿Illegal racer!Mingi⫿

TW: cursing, unprotected sex

Word count: 4,7k

A/N: Well yeah...this is Mingi's fault for posting those freaking pics and my fault for getting inspired at the most random ass times. I know I'm not the greatest smut writer, but don't take my head off for it, thank you. Your feedback is very much appreciated!

⭒Toge racing: 1-1; lead driver <--> chase driver

⭒Sprint: race has more drivers

⭒Dig: refers to all participants toeing a line, aligning the front tire of the vehicles, after which all vehicles race from a stop to a prearranged point

            My car came to a screeching halt as I slammed on the brakes, which were new. I got them changed a week ago, I have fried the old ones off after the toge race I pulled off in the mountains. My jaw was set tightly as I took in a deep breath, long fingers tightening against the leathery wheel.

“What are you doing—”

“Get out.” I snapped; eyes focused on the road ahead. The other female in the car gasped quietly before I heard her huff in annoyance.

“What did you just say?”

“Get out, Jennie.” I snapped more aggressively this time as my head whipped around, shooting dagger at her. She looked incredulous as she didn’t make any moves to get out of my car. I wasn’t having it anymore; I just couldn’t focus with her around.

“Are you seriously kicking me out of your car when we’re one block away?” She hissed, lips pulled into a snarl, making me smirk at her in annoyance.

“Yes, I am.” I told her, leaning back in my seat, “Get. Out.”

She didn’t have much of a choice as I glared her down, Jennie’s fierce eyes staring back just as harshly while she bit her lower lip. It didn’t take long for her eyes to fill with tears, which were faker than the eyelashes she had on, and I just rolled my eyes before she finally undid her seatbelt and grabbed her purse aggressively.

“I can’t believe you!” She screamed as she threw open my car’s door, making me hiss when it cracked open loudly, “You’re seriously throwing me out of your car on a deserted road in the middle of the night?!”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have fucked my fiancé a week before our wedding, cousin.” I hissed at Jennie, who was also my cousin, as I revved the engine of my 3gen burgundy Honda Prelude. The car was a gem and I cherished it dearly, taking more care of her than I have ever taken care of myself.

“I told you he was—” Jennie started shrieking as she slammed the car’s door shut, her window having been rolled down, but I quickly pressed the button to roll it up and sped off, not wanting to hear another sound coming from her mouth. It’s not like I dropped her off miles away from the car meet, she was just a block away. She should be thankful I even gave her a ride after everything she made me go through not even four months ago.

I thought Jennie and I were like sisters, always there for each other no matter what the matter was. We could talk about anything and discuss all of our issues. I confided in her when problems arose with my fiancé, and her advice had been the best, it helped our relationship…until it completely shattered. Until she went and slept with San like he wasn’t engaged to me, just a week away from his own wedding. She would’ve been the bridesmaid, but there was no wedding to be held. I called it off the second San drunkenly told me about his infidelity, and I also took all of my stuff and moved out from our shared apartment. Indeed, it was a rash decision, in the spur of the moment as my head was coated with anger, hurt and betrayal, but I couldn’t stand to see his face for even one more second longer.

The small house I rented out wasn’t in the best part of the city and it was far from being luxurious, but it worked for now. It felt cozy and the neighborhood was quiet…unless Song Mingi was out and about, keeping everyone up on the street with his obnoxiously loud Dodge Challenger. The car was a specimen, however, truly rare as it was well kept and had zero flaws. Mingi took great care of it and never failed to show it off. Even if it was in the middle of the night, when people were trying to relax and sleep as he didn’t seem to care. Whether he had just come home from racing or God’s knows from where or he was bringing girls over and showing off…he’d keep the engine running for at least ten minutes before he finally shut it off. Mingi and I had known each other for more than a year now as the both of us go to the same car gatherings and do the same illegal street races, and even better than that, we’ve raced each other countless of times already. There was only one problem with him and that was his obnoxiously large ego. His car was good, he was a skilled racer, and he knew he looked good. So, all three combined made him an insufferable jerk and I couldn’t stand being around him for more than five minutes. Imagine my shock when I moved in across from him, his car being the give away of who my neighbor would be for an undetermined time. And what made it even worse…was his bedroom facing the main road whereas it was my living room facing it, and Mingi seemed to not know the concept and usage of curtains. Whether he didn’t do it purpose, seriously have major doubts about that, or it was on purpose, it seemed to be his habit to strip naked and change in front of his windows. He never gave it away that he knew I could see him, so out of embarrassment, I never brought it up to him. Not that this would ever be something I would talk to him about, I try to stay away from that prick as he gets on my last nerve. But some things were inevitable and I would be lying to myself if I said his body wasn’t perfect from top to bottom.

I rolled down both windows of my car as I turned down the usually deserted road, which was now filled to the brim with cars on both sides, creating a pathway in the middle. People were swarming between the cars, looking at them and talking to each other. Some were even fighting, needing to be separated as I slowly rolled down the pathway, nodding my head at the familiar faces as they sent waves my way. My arm hung through the window as I steered with one hand, headed to my usual spot. People who were regulars in the illegal races had their own spots and were paid fairly better than the newcomers. Which meant it was totally worth it to race…unless the cops caught you, it was game over then. I put my car in reverse as I carefully parked my car, Soonyoung cheering loudly from the side as he watched, gaining more people’s attention. I rolled my eyes at his theatrics. Soonyoung and I have met three years ago, at a race where we both drifted off into the ditches. Unfortunately his car suffered unfixable damage, unlike mine. The Universe must’ve been on my side that day, because I was convinced I was going to die, yet here I was…unmarried and completely miserable as I plastered on the most genuine looking fake smile on my face that I could.

“Hey, buddy!” I greeted him as I got out of the car, knocked breathless when Soonyoung’s best friend raced towards me, colling into my body and lifting me up into a hug as he started twirling me around aggressively. I had to hold onto his body out of fear of scratching my own car and Soonyoung’s purple Subaru BRZ as my legs gripped around Wooyoung’s waist tightly.

“You made it!” He shouted into my ear and I cringed, crying out as he abruptly stopped, giving me whiplash, “Soonyoung said you were coming but seeing the time—I thought you changed your mind.”

“I didn’t,” I breathed out as Wooyoung finally released me, only for Soonyoung to engulf me into a hug; they both knew I hated hugs, yet never stopped tackling me into one, “But my mother made plans for me and forced me into picking Jennie up—”

“That bitch!” Wooyoung called out at the same time as Soonyoung went off saying, “I thought you were past the age where your mother tells you what to do.”

“Yeah, okay,” I shrugged, pushing my hands into the pocket’s of my leather jacket, “I didn’t know until I got there, Soonyoung, and yes, Jennie is a bitch, Wooyoung.”

“She is! Oh, my God, how dare she still face you after everything she’s done?!” Wooyoung seemed to be annoyed all of a sudden as he huffed, making Soonyoung glance at him. His eyebrows were furrowed as he nodded in agreement. They both hated my cousin, rightfully so, and I did too.

“She still blames it all on San—”

“Bullshit!” Soonyoung suddenly exclaimed, his face pulled into a scowl, “Where’s she anyway? I don’t see her in your car.”

“I kicked her out a block away.” I couldn’t help but giggle as I told my two friends the shit I pulled off. In full honesty, I really couldn’t listen to her ramble on about her apparently picture-perfect life anymore. I hated her guts, I really did. After she ruined my life she had the nerve to rub hers in my face? I don’t think so, not anymore at least; I have made myself very clear after the ugly hysterical fit I had at my mother’s. Soonyoung and Wooyoung shouldn’t have cackled as loudly as they had, palms pressing against their mouths as they congratulated me for being a bad bitch. I wasn’t, I was simply triggered and still hurting.

“You’re iconic, love.” Wooyoung said as he reached out and touched a wavy strand of my hair. I wasn’t planning on dressing up tonight, but something pushed me to do. It’s been too long since I have looked put together, I have missed feeling beautiful and desirable, “And you look absolutely amazing.”

“Thank you.” I bowed playfully as Soonyoung grinned, bumping his shoulder against Wooyoung’s.

“Dressed up for a certain someone to see?” He teased with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

“As if!” I exclaimed and rolled my eyes, knowing very well Soonyoung was referring to Mingi. No, that prick deserved none of my attention or effort, “Before you can spew out more nonsense, I’ll head over to Hongjoong and enter my name in the race.”

“Oh!” Wooyoung exclaimed with excitement as I walked out from between my car and Soonyoung’s, “Which one are you entering?”

“Which one should I?” I stopped to think for a moment as a wicked grin crossed Soonyoung’s features.

“Do the two blocks drifting one.” He instructed with a glint in his eyes and I narrowed mine at him, wondering why he had that face while suggesting such a mild race. Wooyoung glanced at our friend for a second before realization crossed his features and he giggled into his palm, avoiding eye contact with me.

“Fine, but I have a feeling I shouldn’t trust the two of you…” I muttered as Soonyoung and Wooyoung high-fived each other and sent a wink my way, turning their backs as they went to join their other friends once I took off.

My strides were long as I was headed towards the front, where the checkered flag was being waved aggressively, the path having gotten narrower as I was forced to push my way through the crowd. People were loud around me as they cheered for the driver of their choice, egging them on to show a better performance, to win. Four cars were lined up at the starting line, about to start a Sprint. Seonghwa, Hongjoong’s right hand and who handled the races in this part of the town, went and checked on every driver before he walked up to the front, standing in between two cars, holding the checkered flag as he raised his hand. People started shouting like crazy as Seonghwa started counting down and then, dropped the flag, the cars shooting off one by one, each fighting to win the race. I recognized one car, Choi Jongho’s, he was a newcomer but he was rising in the ranks rapidly, creating a name for himself on these streets. Hongjoong stood to the side, leaning against a pole as he was counting the money in his hands, smirking at Seonghwa as he approached him once the coast was clear of any speeding cars. I watched the two as I approached them, Seonghwa talking to Hongjoong softly as the shorter one reached out for his waist with one hand, placing something in the taller one’s back pocket with his other hand. I raised my eyebrows at them as I came to a stop in front of Hongjoong, Seonghwa’s mouth closing abruptly as he stopped talking. Apparently I wasn’t allowed to know what their conversation was about.

“Oh, hey.” Hongjoong’s demeanor changed as he greeted me with a friendly smile, “You’re racing tonight?”

“I sure am.” I said with a grin and Seonghwa took out a small notebook, eyebrows furrowed as he searched for a pen.

“Which category?” He asked as he finally found it and watched me expectantly. I was feeling like going for a Dig tonight, but I remembered what Soonyoung had told me.

“Drifts, the two blocks one.” I said casually, making Hongjoong look up. He looked a little bit surprised as he shared a look with Seonghwa, one which I didn’t understand. But Seonghwa just hummed and jotted my name down in the notebook before he looked up.

“The usual sum?” I nodded and handed them two stacks of money as Seonghwa jotted down the amount, Hongjoong taking the stacks from my hand with a hungry glint in his eyes. I lingered for a second as I wanted to ask who I’d be racing against tonight, but I changed my mind and thanked the two instead as I walked back to my car, deciding that I wanted to live dangerously tonight. Not knowing my rival made it more satisfying when I would win, not having made a strategy for myself beforehand as I didn’t know who the person would be and their driving style. My mind and body craved for the little adrenaline racing infused into my bloodstream and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the prize too.

             Of course, I should have known by Soonyoung and Wooyoung’s giggles that they were setting me up. Losing tonight was as possible as winning, really, it would be about who was more skilled and faster. I watched Mingi’s black 2000 Dodge Challenger pull up to the start line, front tires on the line just like mine. The rumble of his car’s engine was already a tell-tale sign of whom I’d be racing tonight, and I couldn’t help but curse as I saw Wooyoung and Soonyoung high-five each other on the sidelines before showing me a thumbs-up. I could only scowl at them as Seonghwa walked around, gathering money as people made bets on who would win this time. Mingi’s window was rolled down and I saw movement from my peripheral so I looked over lazily, raising an eyebrow at him as he waved his ring clad fingers at me in a mocking way. I rolled my eyes and rolled down my own window, Mingi’s mouth already opening to speak up.

“Evening, doll.” He called over the loud crowd and rumble of our cars engines, “Fancy losing tonight?”

“Don’t get too cocky now, Mingi.” I plastered on a fake smile, “I might smoke you out.”

“I have to admit your ass is pretty fine—” He paused for a dramatic effect as my jaw clenched, knowing well he meant it both ways; car’s and my ass, “but I don’t plan on looking at it for too long tonight.”

I chuckled and pushed my wavy hair behind my shoulders as I leaned over the middle console, my low-cut top not leaving much to imagination, “I would hate to kick you off your high-horse, sweetheart, but your Dodge got nothing compared to my Honda.”

“I thought I have showed you my skills countless times, doll.” The way Mingi caught his lower lip between his teeth shouldn’t have made my stomach flip, but I couldn’t help it as my eyes remained fixed on them. Then, Mingi suddenly smirked as if he could see even from the distance where my eyes were fixated and he lowered his sunglasses slightly, leaning over his open window, “You seem to have forgotten, let me remind you tonight.”

My skin got covered in goosebumps at the offer in his tone, knowing damn well what he was talking about. And it wasn’t about racing anymore. But I wouldn’t let him know how quickly his words could make my body react, therefore, I just leaned back in my seat and started revving the engine of my burgundy car, smirking at Mingi as a displeased look crossed his face. I rolled up my window as he started revving his, Seonghwa having made it between our cars with a flag in his hands. He grinned at Mingi before looking at me, earning a firm nod from me. I decided to take a peek at Mingi swiftly, wondering how he could still see and drive while wearing sunglasses at night, but I quickly pushed all thoughts away as Seonghwa’s hands raised. I gripped the steering wheel tightly with my left hand as my right went to grip the gear stick, eyes set on the road ahead. My left foot was on the shift pedal and the second Seonghwa released the flag, I kicked into action as I shifted into first gear and shoot off, leaving Mingi in a dust behind as I worked my way up through the gears, focusing on the road only, familiar with Mingi’s driving. Beating him tonight would be a piece of cake.

            The windows were fogged up and the leather was scrapping against my knees painfully as I panted, eyebrows scrunched together as I tried to find the perfect rhythm. Mingi’s calloused hands were gripping my waist but he wasn’t doing anything, he was just watching me with an open mouth, leaning forward to press his reddened lips against my flushed skin in no time. He would grunt from time to time as my hips moved up and down, his dick deep inside, hitting every sensitive nerve I had as his tongue licked against my collarbone before I felt him sucking. The small top I was wearing was of no-good use as Mingi’s right hand came up to grope my left breast and I whined as my thighs were starting to strain. It wasn’t a surprise that I have ended up in Mingi’s car not long after our race, which he had won this time, panting and on top of him, desperate for my own release as Mingi didn’t do anything, as he tortured me longer than it was necessary. Mingi’s lips trailed upwards, kissing and biting the skin of my neck before he kissed behind my ear, making me whine as I fastened my pace. A low groan left Mingi’s lips as his nose pressed against the skin of my neck, his hot breath hitting my skin uneven.

“Fuck, I can’t take this any longer.” I panted out, hands tangling into Mingi’s black hair as he slightly pulled back to look up at me. His pupils were blown and his eyes were hazed over with lust, yet he still managed to smirk as his hands went around my naked waist and grabbed my bare ass, helping me out as I moaned loudly, going faster with Mingi’s help. My walls clenched down around him and in response Mingi cursed quietly, biting my neck as his fingers dug into the flesh of my ass, soon enough his body leaning back into the leather cushion of his passenger seat. My arms went to hold onto the headrest of it, whimpers getting louder as my lower region burned, desperate for a release after so much teasing and edging from Mingi. His grunts were constant as I gyrated my hips more frequently, my lower lip in between my teeth as suddenly Mingi hit the sweet spot, making me stutter out a gasp as my walls clenched down around him.

“Fuck.” He cursed in a low rasp, hands releasing me as his hands raised behind his head, eyes shut close for a second, “Fuck, tell me I’m better. He could never fuck you like this, doll.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I went down on his dick again, but missed the angle I have previously found. My brain was in a haze, and I didn’t want his words to register as I continued chasing for an orgasm, but Mingi just wouldn’t shut up, “San could never make you feel this good.”

My body stiffened and muscles contracted as I was snapped out of whatever euphoria I was feeling at the moment, face contorted into disgust as I threw a glare at Mingi, “Why the fuck would you bring up my ex-fiancé during sex, Mingi?!”

Mingi gulped as he opened his eyes, forehead covered in a sheer coat of sweat, “Why? Are you not over him yet?”

I hated the arrogance dripping from his voice, the way he was looking at me, with such superiority, as if he was better, “It’s been four months, only. Would you be over the person you’ve loved for six fucking years and were meant to get married to?”

“I certainly wouldn’t start mopping about it during sex with another man—”

“You brought him up, he wasn’t even in my mind.” I snapped as we remained unmoving, Mingi’s hands latching onto mine against the headrest as he squeezed them.

“He better not be while I have my dick inside you, doll.” Mingi rasped and I scoffed, leaning closer to him, our lips almost touching.

“You sound an awful lot like you’re jealous, sweetheart.” I whispered against his lips before I licked his lips, Mingi’s eyes darkening for a second as he shifted underneath me. He only moved slightly, but the burning and yearning was back as my eyebrows furrowed, “You talk too much. Shut up and fuck me brainless, Mingi.”

“Gladly, doll.” Mingi whispered as he suddenly thrusted upwards, making me yelp in surprise as he suddenly started moving. He wasted no time as he moved fast and sharply, slamming back in before I could even meet his thrusts. My head fell back as I braced myself against his shoulder and neck, mouth open as whimpers kept falling and falling. Mingi’s length reached places nobody’s had before and with his precise and sharp thrusts my thoughts were slowly becoming incoherent again. His face was contorted into pleasure as his eyebrows pulled together, a moan slipping out every now and then as his left hand pushed against the roof of his car as his right hand came down to grab my hips and maneuver them to his liking. The fire was quickly building up in my stomach now with his continuous thrusts and it was starting to get harder and harder to focus on anything else but on chasing my own release. Mingi suddenly leaned up and circled his left arm around my torso as he flushed our bodies together, pivoting his hips up at a relentless pace, making me keen against his ear as my fingers tangled into his hair tightly. Mingi moaned loudly and fucked me harder as I moved messily against him, toes curling from the feeling.

“Fuck, Mingi—” My voice broke off into a loud moan as he finally found my sweet spot again, walls clenching down on him tightly. Mingi gasped and pressed his tall nose against my collarbone as he hit the spot again and again, his moans strained as I screwed my eyes shut, moving my hips in time with his, my hand coming down between us to rub circles against my clit.

“Doll—” Mingi groaned as my muscles tightened, so close to releasing finally as I threw my head back, Mingi’s name falling off my lips in whispers and broken moans. I could feel Mingi twitching inside me constantly and I knew he was close too as his breathing got even more uneven and arms tensed against my body as he leaned back, suddenly holding my jaw, making my eyes snap open, “Look me in the eyes.”

And so I did as I rubbed against my clit faster, Mingi’s thrusts wilder as his hand slipped from my jaw to my neck, putting the right amount of pressure against it. My lips fell open and in a few more desperate thrusts, I was coming undone against Mingi as my body tensed up and spasmed in his arms, moans spilling from my lips until I couldn’t breathe anymore, Mingi’s long fingers cutting off my air. My body shook as euphoria washed over every sense in my body, skin on fire and stomach coiling as I came down crashing hard, ears ringing before I could finally breathe, sputtering nonsense against Mingi’s lips as I fell forward, pressing my lips against his messily. He still hasn’t released yet and as my body went mush in his arms, he continued fucking up into me, head falling back as his moans grew loud. My lips sucked against the sensitive skin of his neck as my body ached from being used too much, but I knew he was close and I wanted him to fill me up.

“Mingi—” I moaned out in pain as my walls felt abused by Mingi’s relentless and messy pace, but when we made eye contact he knew what I was asking of him. His face contorted into pleasure once again and he bit his lower lip and whined as I clenched my walls around his dick, his hands coming to hold onto the headrest as his hips stuttered, stomach stiff as he came too, spilling inside me his warm seed. My stomach twisted at the feeling and I watched Mingi as he panted loudly, pressing his head into the headrest harshly. My right hand cupped his jaw and he lazily blinked his eyes open, watching me with clear eyes. A small smirk crossed his lips as he grabbed me by the nape and pulled me down, our lips meeting for a kiss as we both opened up, tongues meeting in a hot frenzy. I could feel my face heat up as Mingi’s tongue explored my mouth, slowly and sensually, making my skin tingle again as I pressed closer against him, kissing back with the same fervor as he was. He still hadn’t pulled out and I could finally feel the strain in my thighs as everything caught up with me at once, the yearning of my body. I could never get enough of Mingi, but I never allowed myself to think too hard about it. Mingi licked into my mouth with finality, sucking on my tongue before pulling away, a small string of saliva snapping as he went and sucked on my lower lip, making me push him away when he bit down on the soft flesh harshly. He seemed pleased with himself as he trailed his hands down the sides of my body, gripping my hips steadily.

“Wanna go for another race?” He asked seriously and I looked at him with an incredulous look.

“To lose more money that would go to you?” I asked with a scoff, making Mingi smirk as he lightly squeezed my hips.

“So, you do admit I would win again?”

“Don’t think you’re too special,” I rolled my eyes as Mingi smirked, “I’m just too spent after our little session…”

“Poor you,” Mingi mocked and pursed his lips, “Here I was, feeling like going for a second round…”

“I can’t feel my thighs anymore, forget it.” I snapped and made to finally get off him, but Mingi didn’t let me as he smiled, batting his eyelashes at me like he wanted something.

“And if we go home?” He asked airily, jutting his lower lip out, “Will you let me fuck you into the mattress?”

My jaw almost fell open, but I managed to stop myself as I tsked, smirking at him, “Can’t get enough of me?”

Mingi smirked and slightly raised me up by the waist, making me gasp at the friction, “Apparently I can’t.”

I chuckled as Mingi leaned up to peck my lips before lifting me off himself, an unfamiliar glint in his eyes which told me the rumble of our cars engines wouldn’t be the only thing keeping up our neighbors tonight.

Masterlist (divider)

[thebluestockingfirefly]

There are a lot of things I could say right now. A lot of emotions roiling and punching and screaming to be vocalized. But I don't have the strength right now to articulate all of that. What I will say is this.

I'm a disabled woman. I've been disabled nearly all of my life. I had severe chronic kidney infections requiring multi-weekly injections from the time I was three months old until I was four and a half, when I had major surgery - without which, I'd be dead by now. I bear scars and an undersized kidney and the gratefulness I didn't almost die from giardia like my sister. I had about a year and a half between recovering from my surgery and starting to get sick again; in that time, I won the Presidential Fitness Award, played soccer, and did gymnastics, and was so skilled at the latter that they wanted to train me privately for competition (terrible at soccer, though. oof). In second grade, the PE teacher called my parents because I was no longer able to participate the way I had before, and she was worried. Took several more years before I was finally diagnosed with what was then called chronic fatigue syndrome. I got progressively sicker from there. My parents didn't think I'd finish fourth grade because I missed so much of the school year due to being sick. No one thought I'd finish high school, and a huge part of the reason I graduated was because I had a 504, and parents who fought for me to get that 504 - and an advisor who dated the expiry date for it past the time I'd graduate, because the administration had nearly refused to grant it to me and she wanted to make sure it wouldn't be taken away.

I've fought every step of the way to achieve what I have, but I absolutely wouldn't have got there if it weren't for the fact that disability rights legislation exists - and it exists because of hard-fought battles by disability rights activists. Disability rights are still a relatively recent thing - the ADA was only passed in 1990 - and people with disabilities are still regularly left out of rights conversations. And, lest you think 'oh, well, I'm not disabled' - guess what? You're going to get old. A split second might change your life. Disability is the one demographic literally anyone could find themselves in at any time, and are increasinbly likely to become a member of as they age. People with disabilities are uniquely vulnerable to the whims of governments, and looking forward, it is an absolute surety that our rights - our very value as human beings deserving of life and respect and love - will be in danger. Our lives will be in danger. Medicaid and Medicare are both at extreme risk. Health insurance coverage in general is almost certainly going to contract and exclude a hell of a lot of us. (I lived in the UK during the 2016 election knowing I was moving back to America in 2017 and sobbed at the results because I was terrified.) Access to care in general is also likely to seep away like toxins into groundwater, leaving far too many without access to vital and necessary means to survive.

To sum up: people with disabilities are going to die. And if you don't care about that, if you can't be bothered, I have only this to say to you: go fucking trip in a pothole and break your neck on the way down.

Moving on to a different topic.

Two of my closest, dearest friends are queer. Very different identities, very different people, both people without whom I'm not sure I'd have survived the last decade. You know who not only doesn't give a shit about people with queer identities but is actively advocating to relegate them to statuses less than human? Yeah. The shithead America just elected as president. It's made trans identities a pointed, specific point of attack, demonizing people who literally only want to be seen as normal so they can carry on with life. The vitriol spewed at trans individuals, at anyone who isn't cis-het, is horrific and disgusting and now has an even greater platform to not only continue to demonize perfectly normal people but also actively legislate to remove their rights, along with those of anyone who doesn't happen to identify with their assigned gender at birth or a strictly heterosexual attraction to others.

As my last futile shriek into the night, for now, I return to the fact that I'm a woman. I've been on birth control since I was 18. I currently have an IUD. I used to have the arm implant thing. For most of the time that I've been using birth control, the goal has been to control, minimize, or largely eliminate my period, but I'm gonna be honest here: I've also used it to keep from getting pregnant (gasp, shock, horror, go fuck yourself if you think this is somehow unacceptable). But guess what? Birth control is a vitally important way in which people are able to exercise autonomy over their bodies. How we are able to choose to be intimate with men without being terrified that doing so will irrevocably alter our lives in a way over which we have no say. How we're able to avoid having to face the decision to have an abortion. When my mother was a young woman, abortion was illegal. Didn't matter the circumstances, didn't matter the timeline; you got pregnant, no matter how, you had almost no options. If you decided to end your pregnancy and were lucky, you might visit a doctor who knew what they were doing and provided competent care without risking your life, and survive to one day have a family, if you wanted. If you weren't, you might end up with permanent damage to your reproductive organs that meant you could never have children. Or dead.

We started a return to this reality several years ago, when Roe v. Wade was repealed by the Supreme Court and states across the country instituted extreme abortion bans that basically said a hearty Fuck You to every woman in this country. Women have died as a result, women who should be alive right now. Children are living without their mothers because doctors are scared to provide necessary care. And now even more women are going to die. I live in a blue state with no restrictions on abortion and I'm fucking terrified because my rights, my autonomy, my ability to make my own fucking decisions about myself, my body, my own damn life are in question despite where I live. I'm a person. Every fucking woman is a person. We deserve to be able to decide what the fuck we want to do with our bodies, without anyone else's input.

[adamsvanrhijn]

blorbo question: blorbo and his boyfriend in a modern day american college situation. are they football fans or basketball fans? either? does John play one of those sports?

thank you for not making me sad!!!

reminder for people who don't live here that in this case the football looks like this

🏈🏈🏈

in one of the aus in my brain where they are in high school in the 50s ("this was not the question" shhh) john plays high school football, because it's the 50s. but the thing about established modern football is all the brain damage. which i don't like for him. i do not as yet have an au in my brain where he plays football in a modern au at any level college included. the only universe in my brain where john plays college football is at least a few of my many alternate canonical timelines... 1860s-1870s harvard football...!!

for whatever reason john is not screaming basketball at me. i feel like i don't associate john with jumping. actually that's a stupid thing to say because i have him as a baseball player plenty and that jumping works in my brain...

i do not think oscar enjoys Participating in either of these sports because he simply is at a physiological disadvantage.... the secret to not losing at sports is to only do sports you know you can win 😌💅 but in no universe i already have in my brain is oscar like an actual college athlete.

i DO however think teen young adult oscar thinks he can also win at football by being in a sexual relationship with a football player and i do think he could also apply this logic to basketball but basketball is like. less idealized. nobody* is writing songs and screenplays where you win by dating the basketball player you know?? the basketball player is not an aspirational trope. it is less impressive to turn a basketball player gay** than it is a football player.

* somebody almost certainly is.

** make him realize he actually has been so in love with you specifically all this time and was only making fun of you in front of his friends because he wants you soooo bad

i think john has had similar fantasies in his life but it's more like, the guy is already his friend and maybe he has realized through having a girlfriend that actually he does wish he still had time to spend with john, since he isn't doing that much anymore because now he has a girlfriend, and maybe even he actually prefers john to his girlfriend and just isn't ready to say it yet .............

ummmmm. in terms of like. being in College. and not in high school. and watching College sports. i don't think oscar has the patience for football for football's sake like there needs to be something else going on for this viewing experience to be fun... this is a Party thing... but he pays attention to who is winning and losing both during the game and during the season perhaps. whereas i think the act of Watching football is probably actually something cerebral enough for john to enjoy but he hates the vibes.... his ideal football watching experience is at home not being perceived maybe with like two other people he enjoys spending time with already and you don't have to deal with tailgate and/or stadium logistics.... and he is less concerned in terms of like a bigger picture state of American college football with who is winning or losing but gets invested in the individual game while he is watching it and wants his team to win. thinks about how team members must feel emotionally if they lose when the game really matters and feels sad for them. gets really upset about injuries. probably is worried about the brain damage which Oscar like. simply doesn't care about they're already playing football in the first place........ come on 🙄

i feel like John would try to support his college's women's basketball to be a good feminist ally. he could totally have a sister basketball player. Oscar unlikely to care about this / care about being perceived as caring about this but would maybe go in a group and in the right circumstances talk like he does. or he might not.

basketball is Not a big thing in my state to be honest so i am less familiar with the college politics but football i just cannot get away from so i am much more aware of what that is like.... very interested in basketball blorbo opinions if anyone has those for some reason.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi cas, it’s grieving anon. Here for the vibes today. TAYLOR SWIFT… I mean… 

So, ive had a few weird things happen. I got distracted and fell over, and injured myself so yay… and then I had the weirdest thing happen.

So I mentioned I got nightmares right? That I woke my mum up by shouting and sitting up in my sleep. So I have a bunk bed (small room- needed space for a desk). And a few days ago I had this creepy dream and legit propelled myself out of bed- still half asleep and panicking. Then had to climb back in. 

And last night I literally crawled from lying down to the other end of my bed and climbed over the bars and fell OVER and OFF my bed to the floor 😭

You know the length of like, a normal door? It was like that far that I fell. I woke up both my parents. 

IM 16! I shouldn’t be flying out of bed. Luckily i’m not too hurt tho. I remember the dream, I was just climbing over a fence, I couldn’t feel the floor but I knew it was there so I let go, and then I WOKE UP ON MY FUCKIGN FLOOR. 

Like whyyyyy.

Anyway. So Long, London. My first favourite. “HOW MUCH SAD DID YOU, think I had, did you, think I had in me, HOW MUCH TRAGEDY?”

Then, of course, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart. AMAZING. Yes.

And, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? 

So far, they’re my fav but i’m sure the others will claw their way into my heart too. 

Anyway, my sisters been annoying me. She seems annoyingly fine. She called all the injury’s i’ve been getting “pre-exam” injuries… NO! They’re post fucking death injuries. 

I know her, I know she’s suffering in silence. But it means whenever I see her, she seems fine. And it’s fucking annoying. 

I don’t know anymore. My mum, she said her nightmares went away after my Nans death when she went to a grief therapist or something. i’ve never gone to a therapist. I don’t know how it’d feel. And, I don’t really have the time. 

But I don’t want to wake up on my floor again. 

I feel like I blinked and my life became this mess I can’t control. And I have no energy to anymore. I lost all my fire. I used to strive to learn and care and participate. Now i’d happily rot away. Why bother. 

Anyway (that’s like the third time i’ve said that now 🤦‍♀️) “IM JUST GETTING COLOUR BACK INTO MY FACE IM JUST MAD AS HELL CAUSE I LOVED THIS PLACE” 

Writing these at the end of some of my days has been very stress relieving so thank you. I’ve bullied myself into not picking the scab on the horrid massive cut I got from falling over. I’ve refrained from pressing into the bruises I got from sleep falling/climbing off my stupid bed. 

“IS IT A WONDER I BROKE. LETS HEAR ONE MORE JOKE”

 This isn’t even my usual music vibe 😭

“DONT YOU WORRY FOLKS, WE TOOK OUT ALL HER TEETH” Iconic. 

“YOU SHOULD BE. YOU SHOULD BE.”

“YOU WOULDN’T LAST AN HOUR IN THE ASYLUM WHERE THEY RAISED ME”

Literally everything i’ve tried to do this week has failed. School work, running, sleeping.

I’m so tired. 

Hi hon! I'm so glad to hear from you! <3

Nightmares after a loss are SUPER common, and you're right to know that they don't have to do with exams. As far as therapy, I know you said you don't have time, and I used to say the same thing but then I got to thinking...

I wasted SO much time being sad, run down, anxious, depressed. Like I probably spent at least an hour a day in anxiety paralysis, you know? So devoting an hour a week to STOPPING those symptoms actually saves me time, in the long run.

It may not feel the same for you, but it's something to think about! <3

I'm so glad you like TTPD. Using music to cope is also super helpful. Screaming lyrics is so...emotionally rejuvinating.

Keep messaging me <3 I'm thinking of you!

[three-eyed-skullbunny]

White picket fences

Barbed wire and trenches

Trick or treat, merry christmas

Howdy neighbor, thank you Jesus

Oh what is he building in that painted lady?

A participation trophy wife, or blonde, blue eyed baby

Wide eyed and wired, the snap crackle pop of the Geiger

Camouflage billboards for lead lined brooks brothers

You elbow the jukebox and sing duck and cover

And breed out our incisors, feed on white wine and Pfizer

It don’t look like survival, but buy now or die

Suburbiaaaa~

You’re not aloneeee~

The lights are onnnnn~

But no one’s home (so welcome home)

Myers Briggs, OKULTRA

Takes a village to fake a whole culture

Your ear to the playground, your eye on the ball

Your head in the gutter, your brains on the wall

Oh well, home is where heart is

You ain’t homeless, but you’re heartless

It’s the safest on the market

But you still gotta watch where you park it

So give me your half life crisis

I can tell you don’t know where paradise is

Where parasites don’t care what your blood type is

Only pheromones

Is it true that a snowflake only matters in a blizzard

Everyone knows that, nobody knows that

Everybody’s all up in my, everybody’s all up in my

Everybody’s all up in my BUSINESS

Suburbiaaaaa~

Where you belonggggg~

The lights are onnnnn~

But no one’s home (so welcome home)

Chameleon peacocks are talk of the town

Well, word gets around on hit number stations

He cums radiation

The dog bites the postman, while basement eyes dream

Of a night at the drive in, with an AR-15

I dropped my eyeballs in the bonfire

We fucked on a bed of nails

I caught kuro from your sister and died laughing in jail

Smell those screaming teenage sweetbreads on the Fourth of July grill

Smile and wave boys, kiss the cook, live laugh and love

Please pass the pills

It’s only culture, it’s only culture, it’s only

Cultureee~

Sulfur smoke and soot

You learned to torture house cats like vultures

You cocked and sucked your lack of empathy

Pulled the trigger with your foot to prove you’ve got

BLOOD

Didn’t they want your blood?

So why apologize for being blue and cold

Blood, didn’t they want your blood?

So why apologize when you’ve turned blue and cold

🎶🎶🎶🎶

It’s only culture, it’s only culture, it’s only

Ah- ah- ah- ah

Culture’s not your friend

Hey fuck your culture, I ain’t got no culture

It’s only culture and it’s more afraid of you than you are of it!

C’mon drink that blood!

Didn’t they want your blood

So why apologize when you’ve turned blue and cold

Blood, didn’t they want your blood?

So don’t apologize for being blue and cold

Were you Nabokov to a Salinger

Were you Jung to Freud or Dass to a Leary

Were you mother, daughter, subject, and author

You don't make the rules, you just write them down and

Do it by the book you throw around

Do you know the difference between blazing trails and slash-and-burn

Going against the grain and catching splinters

You pull out your Rorschach like a paint-by-numbers treasure map

The ink upon on your jigsaw piece traces you back to your fingerprints

Well Lot he had his lot in life, Job his job and I guess you'll too, and die

The Lord looked down, said, "hey, you're only mortal"

Giveth and taketh away 'till things come out a certain way

Leave you wondering when they might go back to normal

Leave you wondering why they can't have just been normal

[acequinz]

Seeing people calling Daiji and Keiwa villains.

As if they aren't just two people who had their entire world view rocked and broken to the point they were barely left with anything, so they tried to cling on to what they knew in desperation and fear of losing everything.

It makes them very frustrating people cause they are supposed to be, they are characters whose ideals the show actively shatters but they aren't villains.

Their reasonings and steps don't make sense, because they aren't supposed to. They are just supposed to be characters who lived their life believing in one thing, being proud of that one thing and then being told that one thing was wrong all along and their ideals are wrong and messed up.

Which ended up messing them up.

Does this mean they are good? At their heart and base of their character? Yes. They just want to help even if that help comes in a fucked up way because just like the crumbling ideals, they have lost their way.

Here's what I think is Keiwa's mentality in the show.

From the start we know Keiwa has big ideals, but he doesn't have a path to attain those.

He wishes for world peace, even in his job interview and the way he does, seems like a kids wish. There is hope in it and even faith but the reality is missing. The reality of a proper path towards that ideal/desire.

Then DGP comes into the picture and Keiwa finally has a path.

Even then he hesitates, questions the path repeatedly and every time Ace is there, supportive and understanding even respectful. You need to work hard for your ideal/desire.

Then comes the time when he finally comes to trust the DGP in a way, he is determined to walk the path and now the world is screaming that it is a wrong path, but Keiwa has been walking this path and it seems like the surest and best way to his ideal/desire.

But then the path is full of blood and what can he do now?

The right answer would have been to accept that the path was wrong and back out and leave, but then what about the others who are already lost to the path? Is there a way to bring them back???

The only answer to that would be to reach the end of the path. But how to walk down that path when you know it's wrong and bad?

You blame the creator of the path and continue to walk with the will for your own desire.

Is it still the wrong path? Yes.

But is there any other path? No.

And the only way to escape the guilt of having participated in this, for having made the choice to ever become a part of it, you cling to the same thing. Because there's still a tiny little ray of hope that makes you believe that things can be better, that they can still be saved.

The creator still seems ugly to you, they are wrong people but you are consuming it with the right intentions so you can't be wrong. (Or that's what you tell yourself so you don't come to hate yourself.)

Just because the artist is bad, doesn't mean the art is as well. Which is what I think Keiwa believes.

Art is what you interpret it to be.

At least that is how I think Keiwa is justifying his own actions or losing himself to those thoughts.

We know he has a big guilty conscience.

Only getting Tanuki Soba because he doesn't want his sister to pay a hefty sum on him, she's already taken so much care of him. He can't even get a job.

Then, is fighting the only option? That man wanted to save his son, he deserved to win too.

Have the jyamato been real people all this time and have I been killing/hurting actual people.

He's the type to let guilt control him. And then you put in the fact that he participated in something that was fucking everyone over?

That amount of guilt would drive most people crazy and it did, his ideals were shattered right before he died when he saw someone he saved, be the reason of someone else's death and then he comes back and sees his sister stuck in the same cruel games and knows it would break her like it did you him.

The one person that Keiwa wanted to protect is in the worst possible situation because of him!

The game needs to pay. The DGP needs to pay but not before he saves the people that were lost along the way, because it's the only thing he can think of to alleviate his own guilt.

Is that self serving? Yes absolutely

But your ideal world is always worth fighting for right?

This is by no means a justification for his actions. But also we can't call him a villain because as frustrating as it is, it is not villainous. He's not going out of his way to hurt people or kill people, he wants the bad guys to pay for their sins and save the other people who were lost.

Anyway what Keiwa needs is therapy to deal with the guilt, maybe even the survivor complex.

As for daiji well... That would be a separate post altogether.

[axl-ul]

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

Again, thanks a lot to @dogmomwrites <33

Because I've already done this tag I decided to answer these questions as Ulfrika, my main OC. Hopefully, you're going to enjoy:)

DISCLAIMER: Ulfrika is like a sea. Salty and people are afraid of her.

Are you named after anyone? Not necessarily a person, but after an old wolf as 'úlfr' means 'wolf' in Old Norse.

When was the last time you cried? I'll only cry tears of happiness once I dance on the bones of my enemies. (note from Axl: She's lying. She cries every night to herself. She's only playing 3edgy5u card.)

Do you have kids? No. I take care of other gremlins every day of my life. I don't need any more goblins who can do barely more than cry and scream.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? The question should be whether you use your brain for asking such unintelligible things...

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Whether they have the courage to look me in the eye or not. Of course, whether they are willing to lie, as well.

What’s your eye color? Black, but my Master used to tell me I had the biggest brown eyes he'd ever seen. I suspect the truth is somewhere in the middle. (note from Axl: Ulfa doesn't have a reflection so she can't say herself.)

Scary movies or happy endings? The first option. People should realise happy endings are the poison of their rationality. It blinds you and pushes you blindly into the unkonown. The fear though, it keeps you on alert, it doesn't allow you to slow down, it sharpens your senses, instincts and makes you quicker, smarter, better. It allows you to survi- Oh, my apologies. Only now, I noticed we were speaking of movies, not a real life. Hm... Still, scary movies. There's nothing better when they use the fakest blood out there.

Any special talents? That depends on what precisely you deem to be special. I deeply appreciate the company of animals and thus I learnt how to exactly mimic their sounds. It doesn't matter if it is a horse, a wolf, a raven or any other creature. Thinking of it further, some people say my voice can get awfully similar to those of other people, as well...

Where were you born? Another peculiar question?! As you wish. I...am not sure. All I remember is a dark sky and that it was rather cold. Maybe it began to snow. Who knows. What I know for sure, though, is that the place where I grew up would be nowadays considered either Central or Eastern Europe.

What are your hobbies? Hobbies? Well, I'm quite fond of reading, especially scientific books and articles, as well as playing instruments, a piano, to be detailed. Yet, my sister and I used to do a lot of crochet. My apologies once again as I forgot my favourite - cars. They caught my attention some time ago and I admit it is vastly entertaining to upgrade parts of the 1969 Chevrolet Camaro SS me and my collegue discovered on the scrapyard.

Have you any pets? I don't like such a word, however I see where you're coming from. Yes. My companions are Tiru, a she-wolf, Krabat, a raven, Meluzína and Lešij, two horses. Although, a few days ago I found this little puppy in the streets and I supposse I'm keeping the little guy. His name is Argu. (note from Axl: translation for Meluzína is 'howling/wailing wind' and Lešij is 'Leshy').

What sports do you play/have played? I must admit I am keen on swordsmanship and horse-riding. I keep myself in shape by mountain running, too.

How tall are you? 214 cm which should be around 7 ft tall.

Favorite subject in school? I never attended one when I was younger but probably that you now consider Biology or Chemistry. In general, I dare to say, the science field interests me the most.

Dream job? Again, you and your dreams...a doctor, though, I already am one...

Tags, which are REALLY soft (so participate only if you truly want, I don't want to pressure anyone^^): @faelanvance @frogqueenofmirkwood @arijensineink @minutiaewriter @myhusbandsasemni @vanessaroades-author @riltansteel @emberlyric

[theramblinghockeydude]

Battling to stay positive

I think one of the hardest parts of this whole thing for me is battling each and every day to stay positive and not let myself slip back into that dark place I was for so long. I feel like most days I do a pretty good of that but every now and again you get reminders of where you are at and how utterly useless you have become with very little, if anything, that you are able to contribute to life. I feel like a child again, and not the good kind of child feeling where you just have no worries and cares and life is full of promise and happiness, but the little child that relies on others to just simply exist each day. I struggle with that part, relying on others as much as I do, because I am an independent person and I am also very stubborn and those two things do not lend well to being somebody who was suddenly thrust into needing to rely on others for things that I normally just took for granted in life. I just want to scream sometimes. I want to shout out that this isn't fair. I want to fall into nothingness and have a grand ole pity party for myself but doing that would mean I have given up and that, basically, it is over. Put me out to pasture, turn me into glue. As hard as it is sometimes to not go there again, I can't let myself and I won't let myself (pretty sure my sister won't let me either). So, I trudge on each day and I get out what I am feeling here and I share it, not for sympathy, but because if there are others that are feeling this way, sometimes you feel very alone in that feeling and I want them to know, you are not alone. I want anyone that is feeling this way to know that allowing yourself to give in to the darkness is dangerous and it has real consequences and it is very easy to stay there and drift away, but you can't allow yourself to do that because even though it doesn't feel like it most days, life is worth participating in, no matter how small of a contribution you can make, it is still worth it.

As the song I talked about in my last post says, nobody says it is going to get easier but you have to fight everyday to keep hope alive and keep your head up because even through the darkest of days and hours there are still good things, little things, that you will miss out on that are worth it. I can tell you from experience, if you allow yourself to see the light of day and not wallow in the darkness, you will have more sunny days than cloudy, it just takes time. Don't get discouraged when the clouds come because they will come, even in your brightest of days, the clouds will come from time to time and you just need to fight through those days because the road back to darkness is short and even though it feels like things are easier there, they are not easier. So yeah, we trudge along this path and look forward and not back with the hope that someday these feeling will be a distant memory.

[zzombie-gutzz]

whi

white picket fences barbed wire and trenches trick or treat merry christmas howdy neighbor thank you jesus what is he building in that painted lady a participation trophy wife or blonde, blue-eyed baby wide-eyed and wired the snap-crackle-pop of the geiger camouflage billboards for lead-lined brooks brothers you elbow the jukebox and sing "duck and cover" and breed out our incisors, feed on white wine and pfizer it don't look like survival, but buy now or die suburbia you're not alone the lights are on but no one's home so, welcome home meyers-briggs, ok-ultra takes a village to fake a whole culture your ear to the playground, your eye on the ball your head in the gutter, your brains on the wall home is where the heart is you ain't homeless, but you're heartless it's the safest on the market but you still gotta watch where you park it so give me your half-life crisis i can tell that you know where paradise is where parasites don't care what your blood type is only pheromones and serotonin decide if it's true that a snowflake only matters in a blizzard everyone knows that nobody knows that everybody's all up in my, everybody's all up in my everybody's all up in my business suburbia where you belong the lights are on but no one's home so, welcome home chameleon peacocks are talk of the town well word gets around on hit number stations he comes radiation the dog bites the postman while basement eyes dream of a night, at the drive-in, with an ar-15 i dropped my eyeballs in the bonfire, we fucked on a bed of nails i caught kuru from your sister and died laughing in jail smell those screaming teenage sweetbreads on the 4th of july grill smile and wave, boys kiss the cook live laugh and love please pass the pills it's only culture it's only culture it's only culture – sulfur, smoke, and soot you learned to torture house cats like vultures you cocked and sucked your lack of empathy pulled the trigger with your foot to prove you've got blood didn't they want your blood? so why apologize for being blue and cold? blood didn't they want your blood? so don't apologize for being blue and cold it's only culture it's only culture it's only culture's not your friend hey, fuck your culture i ain't got no culture it's only culture, and it's more afraid of you than you are of it go on, drink that blood didn't they want your blood? so why apologize when you turn blue and cold? blood didn't they want your blood? so don't apologize for being blue and cold were you nabokov to a salinger were you jung to freud or dass to a leary were you mother, daughter, subject, and author you don't make the rules, you just write them down and do it by the book you throw around do you know the difference between blazing trails and slash-and-burn going against the grain and catching splinters you pull out your rorschach like a paint-by-numbers treasure map the ink upon on your jigsaw piece traces you back to your fingerprints well lot he had his lot in life, job his job and i guess you'll too, and die the lord looked down, said, "hey, you're only mortal" giveth and taketh away 'till things come out a certain way leave you wondering when they might go back to normal leave you wondering why they can't have just been normal...

[connormurphysreanimatedcorpse]

Okay! Yall wanted it!

I present to you my baby, Greetings From Mary Bell Township

Act one 

character descriptions: Igneous - tall, gothy, think Conner Murphy Vic - Korean, handsome, dramatic Beth - average silly teen

(Opens on a toothpaste ad of a man, he welcomes the audience. Set of houses and little stores, at least one Victorian.)

Man: Welcome one and all to our lovely little township of Mary Bell where we have more potlucks than days in a year! We sure do love it here, it’s just lovely! Just ask anyone in town. (Man rings a doorbell.)

Song: Suburbia Overture 

(A woman comes out of the house with a pie, followed by 3 more townsfolk including Beth. )

Townsfolk: White picket fences

Barbed wire and trenches

Town's Gothy Teen: Trick or treat. 

Pie Lady : Merry Christmas

Man: Howdy neighbor. 

Preacher : Thank you Jesus

Beth: What is he building in that painted lady

Townsfolk: A participation trophy wife or blonde, blue-eyed baby

Wide-eyed and wired

The snap-crackle-pop of the Geiger

Man: Camouflage billboards for lead-lined Brooks Brothers

Pie Lady : You elbow the jukebox and sing "Duck and Cover"

Preacher : breed out our incisors, feed on white wine and Pfizer

Beth: It don't look like survival, 

Town's Gothy Teen: b b bye now or die

Townsfolk: Suburbia

You're not alone

Man: The lights are on

Beth: But no one's home

Man, Town's Gothy Teen-3: So, welcome home

Preacher : Meyers-Briggs, 

Town's Gothy Teen: OK-ULTRA

Man: Takes a village to fake a whole culture

Town's Gothy Teen: Your ear to the playground, 

Pie Lady : your eye on the ball

Man: Your head in the gutter, your brains on the wall

Preacher : Home is where the heart is

Beth: You ain't homeless, but you're heartless

Man: It's the safest on the market

Pie Lady : But you still gotta watch where you park it

Beth: So give me your half-life crisis

I can tell that you know where paradise is

Where parasites don't care what your blood type is

Only pheromones and serotonin decide

If it's true that a snowflake only matters in a blizzard

Everyone knows that nobody knows that

Everybody's all up in my, everybody's all up in my

Everybody's all up in my business

Townsfolk: Suburbia

Where you belong

Beth: The lights are on

But no one's home

Man: So, welcome home

Town's Gothy Teen: Chameleon peacocks are talk of the town

Well word gets around on Hit Number Stations

(Whispers to Pie Lady , who swoons) He comes radiation

Beth: The dog bites the postman while basement eyes dream

Of a night at the drive-in with an AR-15 (all notice Vic and Ignatius entering and scatter, Pie Lady grabs Beth)`

(Ignatius and Vic relish the chaos, waltz in waves while singing) 

Ig: I dropped my eyeballs in the bonfire, we fucked on a bed of nails

I caught Kuru from your sister and died laughing in jail

Smell those screaming teenage sweetbreads on the 4th of July grill

Smile and wave, boys. Kiss the cook

Live laugh and love. Please pass the pills

It's only culture. It's only culture

Vic: It's only culture – 

sulfur, smoke, and soot

You learned to torture house cats. Like vultures

You cocked and sucked your lack of empathy

Pulled the trigger with your foot to prove you've got

Vic: Blood. Didn't they want your blood

So why apologize for being blue and cold

Blood. Didn't they want your blood

So don't apologize for being blue and cold

(Vic and Ig tango rather aggressively)

Ig: It's only culture. It's only culture. It's only

Culture's not your friend

Vic and Ig: Hey, fuck your culture. I ain't got no culture

It's only culture, and it's more afraid of you than you are of it

Go on, drink that

Blood. Didn't they want your blood

So why apologize when you turn blue and cold

Blood. Didn't they want your blood

So don't apologize for being blue and cold

(They run off and pull around a gurney with a body covered by a blood stained sheet)

Ig and Vic, pushing the gurney: Were you Nabokov to a Salinger

Were you Jung to Freud or Dass to a Leary

Were you mother, daughter, subject, and author

You don't make the rules, you just write them down and

Do it by the book you throw around

Creation, swings around to sit on the edge of the gurney and swings legs like the little bean they are while still under the sheet: Do you know the difference between blazing trails and slash-and-burn

Going against the grain and catching splinters

You pull out your Rorschach like a paint-by-numbers treasure map

The ink upon on your jigsaw piece traces you back to your fingerprints

Well Lot he had his lot in life, Job his job and I guess you'll too, and die

The Lord looked down, said, "hey, you're only mortal"

Giveth and taketh away 'till things come out a certain way

Leave you wondering when they might go back to normal

Beth, from off stage, and Creation: Leave you wondering why they can't have just been normal

(Vic Aggressively wheels off the gurney)

Vic: audio journal entry july 13 1967

I have found a town to carry out my research in. It’s just north of anywhere anybody had ever heard of, a small town, a perfect town, a town full of brainless people. It’s absolutely perfect,

and it’s got the stupidest name I’ve ever heard of… Mary Bell Township! Isn’t that absurd? Ig? 

Ig: yes, totally, soooo absurd.

Vic: chin up young man! It may seem absurd now, but wait, just wait! We will be in history books and med school buildings everywhere will be plastered with our names. That reminds me, future biographers listening to this to try to understand and map my genius, meet my assistant. He may be young and his fashion may be… dismal, but this young man is a real trooper! My protege: Ignasius Williamson.

Ig: trooper? What are you, ABBA? 

Vic: who? 

Ig: nevermind. 

(Stage lights go down, set change to lab, an old Victorian house with sheets over everything and papers piled everywhere) (Ig is scribbling in a journal stage right, Vic paces center stage)

Vic: audio journal entry sept 14 1967

We have moved into the perfect town of Mary Bell! The people here are as bland as wet bread, so the brainless imbeciles who kicked me out of their stupid little doctor club for nonsense like ‘misuse of cadavers’, ‘over romanticizing death’, and ‘running immoral experiments based on your nightmares’ will never look for me here! It’s perfect! and Iggy-

Ig: Don’t talk about me.

Vic: is fitting right in with the locals!

Ig: I tried to buy bird feed once, and now I can’t leave this totally haunted house without getting called ‘crow boy’.

Vic: How charming! Do you really think this house is haunted?

Ig, sarcastically: most definitely.

Vic: Oh! Perfect! What fun! 

Ig: dear god (throws arms up and exits in a cloud of teen angst) 

Vic: most importantly, I have found the perfect house to work on my creation! It’s a beautifully stupid Victorian right near a graveyard! Perfect!

Ig, re entering with the gurney which is now empty: Dr Fra-

Vic: please, call me vic. 

Ig: fine! VIC, WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SAYING “PeRfEcT”?!? That’s the- (pulls out notebook, quietly counts tally marks) fifth time in the last Five minutes, the 60th time today, and the 636th time this week! I AM BEGGING YOU! You can have some of my blood if you just STOP SAYING PERFECT!

Vic: I do need some blood, especially from an unexpired specimen. I will consider your proposal.

Ig, walking away: why couldn’t I have just stayed in med school…

(Lights down, more clutter and blood stains, random body parts, and diagrams littered around. Same treatment to Vic and Ig)

Vic: audio journal October 24 1970 (working on the body on the gurney, it sprays him with blood every so often) progress has been made! My creation is almost ready for his first day out.

(Ig enters, holding a bloodstained bag) 

Ig: I found more parts! Those pesky mourners took hours to clear out but this is the final trip, it’s smooth sailing from here!

Vic: perfect! (Stabs scalpel into the body, covering his face with blood.) 

(Lights down) 

Vic: audio journal entry February 17 1970 I HAVE FINISHED! Tonight is the night! Iggy! We must prepare our creation! 

Ig, rolling in the gurney, now containing a whole body covered by a sheet: your creation. I want no part in this.

Vic: you have helped more than I ever could’ve hoped. 

Ig: well, enough of that! No time to waste. 

(Lighting strike, sheet begins to move as CREATION sits up, Ig and Vic push it back down) 

Song: Laplace’s Angel 

Vic, to Ig: Have you ever died in a nightmare

Woke up surprised you hadn't earned your fate

Have you ever felt like Atlas, threw your back out on the axis, and

Collapsed and threw the planet away

Ig: Everyone's just blood in an ice tray

A vampire picking flowers out in the sun

Run your diagnostic tests, it's posited nobody dies agnostic

Vic and ig: But we still dial 9-1-1

And now we're singing

Creation: uh, hello? 

Ig and vic: Ooh

Creation: Could you take a look at me

Vic and Ig: Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I really that bad?

Now we're singing

Ig and vic: Ooh

Ig: Whatever you think of me

If you were in my shoes

Vic: You'd walk the same damn miles I do

We're only tuning to the tone of the bell curve now

Ask not for whom it tolls

But with my head up in the clouds I can see so much ground

And from up here you look like ants in a row

(town set comes down in front of the house in the interior, now night) 

(Beth, wearing a hoodie and with a backpack enters stage right) 

Beth: I shouldn’t be here… but I can’t go home now. What’s the worst that could happen? … they could totally use me for parts. Actually, that’s pretty rad, I was going to donate my body to science anyway, this is just a bit sooner than expected. Great going Beth. 

(She starts towards the painted lady) 

Beth: Buck up Beth, it’s fine. It’s just a normal house and you do really want to know… You’ve seen the guy’s assistant, he’s just kinda gothy... and kinda smells like death… and was covered in blood that one time… Nothing to worry about. Nothing to-

Vic and Ig burst out of the house, obviously a little drunk: 

Ig: It doesn't take a killer to murder

Beth: AHHHHHHHHH

Vic: It only takes a reason to kill

Vic and Ig: We've all got evidence of innocence, it's 'everything's coincidence' the

Difference twixt fate and free will is whether you're singing

Beth: Ooh

Creaton, stumbling out of the house: Could you take a look at me

Beth: what the fuck is THAT

Vic: Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I really that bad?

Vic and ig: Now we're singing

Beth: Ooh

Vic and Ig: Whatever you think of me

If you were in my shoes

You'd walk the same damn miles I do

Oh-oh

Right

Creation, tapping Vic who is aggressively air guitaring on the shoulder: Victor, right? Hello, hi, sorry. I saw your diploma on the wall. I assume you're a doctor, maybe you can help me. I seem to have damaged…uh… something. (holds up a handful of dripping tubes leading to their chest, stomach, and wrists.)

(Beth gags) 

Vic: aren’t you beautiful? (creeply caresses Creation’s face) 

Creation: thank… you? (notices Beth, dying slowly in the corner) are you alright? Can I get you some water?

Beth: WHO ARE YOU? Better yet, what are you?

Creation: I am- my name is- please excuse me, but I can’t quite recall. 

Ig: you don’t remember? intriguing. (pulls out a notebook) what is the first thing you can recall? 

Creation: I- hm, maybe about two minutes ago when there was a big flash of light and then you two started partying and now I’m here.

Vic: Do you remember… me? 

Creation: victor… you were there when I woke up, right? What happened, I feel… hungover? I don’t remember drinking.

Ig: would it be possible that alcohol would have stayed in his blood? 

Vic: He wasn’t drinking before the… he wasn’t drunk.

Ig: what about the… creativity resourced transfusions? 

Creation: excuse me- doctor? Mr. Franke-

Vic: That's possible, I might have been a bit tipsy when you drew my blood, but we filtered it…

Ig: I knew we should’ve just broken into a blood bank, their security is laughable.

Vic: people need that blood, and they don’t even let gay men who are getting it on donate, rude.

Creation: EXCUSE ME! Doctor, gothy teen, less gothy teen, remember how I said I don’t remember drinking?

Beth: yeah- yes?

Creation: well, I figured out why I don’t remember drinking but have the worst hangover…

Beth: yeah?

Creation: I don’t remember anything.

Beth: What don’t you remember?

Creation: everything. It’s like an empty filing cabinet. 

Vic: Intriguing! 

Beth: What is wrong with you? They are clearly in medical crisis! DO YOU SEE THOSE TUBES?1!!!!1!!! Here, you must be freezing (Beth pulls out a hoodie from their backpack)

Creation: thank y-

Ig: Don’t worry, those are mostly cosmetic at this point.

Vic: exactly. 

Creation: great! 

(Creation rips out a handful of tubes)

(Beth pukes)

Creation: okay, let’s get you out of here. Where do you live?

Beth: I- I can’t go home. 

Creation: can she come in? Do you two have some tums or something?

Ig: Do we have tums? (chuckles) boy do we have tums!

(Vic and Ig usher them inside, Set change victorian interior) 

(Vic and Ig leave creation and beth alone in the workshop/living room to look for tums)

Creation: (whistles Laplace's Angle awkwardly) so… uh, how did you end up here?

Beth: you know… teen hooligans, a dare or something.

Creation: or something? 

(pause)

Beth: I ran away. 

Creation: why?

Beth: because. 

Creation: you’re real trusting, aren’t you?

Beth: would you spill your entire life story to some dude you just met who looks like he got hit by at least three cars then was buried and then exhumed two years later? 

Creation: touche

Beth: so, how did you end up here?

Creation: no idea. 

Beth: I’d drink to that!

Creation: how old are you?

Beth: old enough. 

Creation: whatever you say. 

(Vic and ig reenter, bottle in hand, no tums in sight.)

Ig: turns out we do not in fact have tums. 

Vic: But we do have the next best thing! (holds up bottle)  

Creation, under their breath: holy hell

(vic pours a cup for everyone)

(all lights down, all actors freeze)

(enter toothpaste man)

Man: Underage drinking kills! Enjoy the show!

(lights back up)

(all are now fully intoxicated) 

creation: hey Vicy?

Vic: Yes, gorgeous? 

Beth: aren’t they though? 

Creation: did you make me?

Vic: I sure as hell did, you’re my greatest accomplishment! I am nothing without you! 

Creation: you did a badddddd job, I hurt all over. 

Ig:  that really sounds like an issue not an ish-us. You can’t tell anyone he made you… it’s a secret! 

Beth, jumping up: I like secrets! 

Creation, jumping up on a chair: I love secrets! 

Song: 2econd 2ight 2eer 

Vic, jumping onto the gurney: My grip on my secrets slipping while I'm speaking in tongues

Screaming at the top of my lungs in the confession booth

Take it with a pillar of salt, H.A.L.T., it's not my fault

 The devil made me do it, but I also kinda wanted to

Creation: I'm cut from a different kind of meat

More than you can chew, hard to swallow me

Forget bored stiff, I got rigor mortis, call it morbid curiosity how I

Cannot commit to reality, when my third eye’s open and I like what I see

Baby, I may be crazy but I didn't lose it, no I set it free

Beth and Creation:I can't ignore what's under dance floorboards

The rhythm of my heart a dead-as-disco beat

But I still move my feet to slip out of this groove, I'm free

Ig, really having a moment: Now, to row, row, row my boat over the falls

And maybe wake up from but a dream, yeah

Vic: I'm just a psycho, babe, come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it babe, there wasn't much to find

I'm just a psycho, babe, come and go out my mind

Beth: I'm only passing through

If you knew what I knew, if you saw what I see

You'd look through illusions, hallucinations, and lucid dream

And I know that meaning can be such a pretty thing to keep

Ig: But I got facts and I'm not afraid to use 'em

Take the good with the bad, take off the back you make a new front

Beth: Some days I'm glad that I am a madman and I'd rather be that than

Creation, leaning towards Beth: An amicable animal, mild-mannered cannibal?

But I'm more level-headed and clever than ever

And I'm getting better one forever at a time, and if

Vic: Sick is defined by what's different, well then pull the plug out and let me die

Vice-versa vice versus virtue, well who I am I choose through all the things I do

Beth, leaning in towards Creation: And if it rhymes, it's true -

Beth, realizing what she’s doing, turning away and putting a hand between them: but I hate poetry

Now with my moral compass pointing south, going down

With no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no respect for reality

Vic: I'm just a psycho, babe, come and go out my mind I didn't lose it babe,

Ig, sarcastically:  there wasn't much to find

I'm just a psycho, babe, come and go out my mind

Beth: I'm only passing through

Vic: I'm just a psycho, babe, come and go out my mind

I didn't lose it babe,  

Creation: there wasn't much to find

(turns to Beth) I'm just a psycho, babe, come and go out my mind

Beth: A tourist passing through!

Creation: Well that was fun, goodbye (grabs Beth’s hand and pulls her out of the house)

[andromedagarcia]

Andro slids her glass of vodka with ice towards Chucky after noticing that hers is empty, indicating to the woman with a nod that she could take a sip if she wanted to, but without interrupting her, really curious about what her answer to the question would be.

'Before... the only difference was that we didn't think about death. Unless something happened. Unless your dad goes to the doctor because, I don't know, it's been ages since his last blood test and then, out of nowhere he receives a call. 'Can you please come pick up the results?' even if they could send them to him by email and they tell him, he is sick and dying. That he has three more months left to live. The cancer is spreading. Or someone you know gets hit by a car. Or you see a Facebook post from someone you went to high school with and it's a fucking obituary.' She sighs, distractedly drawing shapes with her finger on the condensed surface of the glass. A skull. A broken heart. A sad face.

'To be honest, there's no one waiting for me, either. Everyone I love is here.' The words leave her mouth before she properly thinks about them, and it's after she has said them that she realizes she is lying. 'Well, actually... I have a dog. Goliath.' Just saying his name brings a smile to her lips, as if she was talking about a past lover she was still in love with. But Goliath was... her best friend. Her companion. They had a connection, as stupid as it sounded.

The lack of him was the reason she had been waking up every four or three hours every single night since they had arrived here. She was worried sick about where he was, and whether he was doing okay or not, she had to admit. 'It's stupid, but he's the only thing I have in the real world.' She wrinkles her nose at saying those last two words because, who could tell her this was not the "real world"? If this was the way they had to live from now on, using the adjective real to define their previous life, as if whatever came next was fake... It was not the right way of doing things. It was the wrong mindset.

'My parents.' Andrómeda answers, without a doubt, at Chucky's question about the source of her anger issues. 'They are...' She tries to find the word, pursing her lips as she thinks, frowning. 'Very calm. Too calm. They have always been too absent. Never took care of us, so I had to, as the eldest sister. They provided, don't get me wrong but couldn't care less about anything else that we did. And I just... sometimes I needed someone to just grab me, shake me, scream at me, get mad.' Her voice raises slightly, but she closes her eyes for a second, takes a couple of deep breaths, and then proceeds to look at Chucky as if nothing had happened. Nothing at all.

Andro does chuckle at the woman's suggestion of playing their next game together, her smile now slightly higher on one side of her face than the other, that and the way her eyes light up, giving her a playful look. 'Why not?' She does realize that she has just accepted to participate in a game with someone who openly admitted to enjoy killing people. That if something went wrong, and she'd die, nobody would question it, not even her siblings.

But again. She didn't feel like she was in any danger. She actually liked Chucky, and was excited to see where this... friendship? of theirs would lead them.

The conversation had taken a dark turn.

And Andro feels a shiver running down her spine at Chucky's words, her dark eyes not leaving her companion's face. But still remains seated. Still doesn't stand up. For now, she just stares, a chill in the air that definitely had nothing to do with the temperature outside, as everyone surrounding them was sporting nothing but micro bikinis and swimming trunks.

'I see.' Her own voice sounds scary to her. Cold, flat and dead like winter. But she then sighs, looks at the ground and tries to think of some way to come at it. Some gesture, some expression, some words that might start to make it right. Chucky had been honest with her, and, although what she had admitted was eight parts horrifying and two parts extremely interesting, she didn't deserve rejection.

Yes, she had just admitted she got off from killing people. From their pain, from hearing their screams, from playing God. But Andrómeda could understand where she was coming from.

Her eyes widen with surprise when Chucky grasps her hand, and at the last words coming from her. She tries to flash her a calming smile. A bit stranded, but she hopes it'll do.

'Don't worry. I don't feel like I'm actually in any danger.' And that much was true, she didn't feel as if the woman sitting in front of her would cause her any harm. Her words had initiated Andro's fight or flight response, but the way she moved her hands, the way she set her face, hadn't. So Andrómeda had just decided to ignore it. And even if the words coming out of her lips sound strained, as if she is trying not to shout, not to cry or both at once, maybe, her smile also grows slightly. 'I'm not afraid. But you have to admit it's a lot. Fascinating, but a lot. It's...' She hopes those are the right words.

'What would you do if we ever go back to the real world? Would you want to?'

She decides the woman has shared a lot. And maybe, it is time to open a little bit with her as well, more than she had until now. She didn't have any secrets of the same magnitude, but Chucky deserved to see a part of her that was usually kept hidden.

'I have never killed anyone. But... I get very, very angry sometimes. I have anger issues, you could say. It's not like the Incredible Hulk that I just transform and smash everything. And I definitely think that someone needs to put me to a lot for me to actually do something about it. But I do consider myself capable of killing, under the right circumstances.'

[vidalinav]

Firstly, no one wants a therapy book. These are books about Faeries. So no one is sitting wanting to read about withdrawals, puking, crying and screaming. Maybe a very SMALL contingent of readers. Not the majority. Nesta falling down the stairs, Nesta refusing to train, Nesta giving attitude to Cassian, that's it. That's the withdrawals. Since she is not a full blown alcoholic or a sex addict, there wouldn't be massive withdrawals. She is not Amy Winehouse.

Secondly, the intervention is done exactly for that reason--so she doesn't turn into Amy Winehouse. It's not 'implied' that she is having potentially dangerous sex with people who could hurt her. It's a fact. She says it herself. It's not 'implied' that she drinks too much. She says it herself. It's observed. The concern isn't that she is doing those things--no one is looking for her to become a sweet, celibate virgin. The concern is that she is doing these things TOO much. That's how you become an addict.

People in power, on whom she depends decided to step in and put an end to it. That's how interventions work. Especially since she decided to be completely dependent on them financially. If she had a job, then yes, no one can tell her what to do. You make your own bed and decisions, and that's what she did.

The whole 'sisterly' involvement--she was the person who cut everyone out. She cut out Feyre, then Elain, Cassian, Amren. It was her decision. What are they going to do? Did Elain not try to get involved in her life? Did she not invite her to Solstice? Elain was the only person who gave her a gift. Was it Elain or Nesta who decided that they didn't the other? As I recall, Nesta didn't acknowledge Elain on the street. She refused to participate. So should the sisters just take it? Accept the bullshit and keep the checks coming? Should Feyre and Elain just sit back and watch Nesta spiral out of control until she does become an addict and/or gets raped? or hurt? Yes, there comes a time when you are just fed up and Elain, or Feyre, are not obligated to coddle Nesta and let get do whatever it is that she wants to do, and watch her hurt herself.

I am aware of your opinions and you will never agree and I know you'll still insist that the IC is horrible and the sisters don't care. But honestly, they saved Nesta so there is that.

I sometimes don't know whether I should just delete these, because someone always write a whole ass aggressive post in the anons when you know you could just post it yourself. But sometimes I get a lot of joy out of these-- I wish you put this much energy in analyzing the actual text but alas.

Anyway, let me read.

Point 1: this is not a therapy book. I agree S/JM should stop writing about trauma.

Point 2: The intervention is done for exactly that reason--I argue that you don't know the reason and neither do I, and nor do I feel that S/JM does. You can definitely argue about addiction and where it leads, but I can argue that the text doesn't support that she has one or one that warrants an intervention beyond offering a support system, which then I ask why the intervention is there at all, since I know very well that characters do not have autonomy and this was an author's choice. I question S/JM's narrative decisions and how they are framed in the novel which is why I cannot support specific claims about characters.

Point 3: I already talked about this in a reblog. So I'm going to dismiss this one.

Point 4: If the intention on behalf of the writer is to show that they care, then... I got to see scenes where they care. It can't be speculation. It has to be concrete. If the goal is to show realism, then you have to show realistic consequences of trauma, the dirt of it all, and then also the push and pull of healing which arguably is not in here. You can show people being annoyed by her trauma, that's realistic but it's not realistic for someone to jump into an intervention. You know realistically, as in of this world, you cannot force anyone to be in a program without their consent, and they can leave at any time. Of course there are certain instances where this is not true, but it takes years to get people the healing or help for addiction/trauma that they need and if people don't want to heal well you can't do nothing about it. That's realistic.

If you are arguing that Nesta is rolling down a steep hill to nowheresville as it seems then... by all means it probably should take more than giving a gift at solstice, which doesn't make Elain nor Feyre look good that this is the height of trying. To go straight to intervention without convincing evidence that it's needed nor that they tried literally anything else is my point. So if the goal was to make the foundation for a sisterly relationship, I am not convinced. If the goal was to show they care, I am certainly not convinced.

The objective of any book is to convince the reader of something. If you did not convince a bulk of the readership, whether that be anti-Nesta's who are not quelled or pro-Nesta's who are not satisfied, then the writer did not convince well enough. Which is what I am saying specifically about the benevolence of the IC. That claim lacks contextual evidence. It is not about whether I like them or not. Who cares about that? I like interesting characters, I am arguing that if the author herself wanted me to believe they were "good" or morally righteous, she did not provide that basis. Actually she gave me a lot of evidence that they aren't. Which is fine, if it amounts to something. If doesn't then, S/JM wrote an unconvincing book.

Point 5: The book says that Nesta saved the IC, literally. The IC did not save Nesta, neither literally nor emotionally. That would mean they were directly involved or... empathetic and supportive, which I already said I'm not convinced and why that is. What saved Nesta and what made the majority of the book was the House, her friends, a goal, the Mother, and a romantic relationship. A support system. I can argue that. Anyone can argue that. For one, because the IC is notably absent for most of the book and when they're there they don't look great. Then you have to think why did S/JM make a relationship that is supportive and have that parallel the presence/absence of the IC who is blatantly not? Doesn't make them look great again. Interesting yes they are, but not benevolent.

~

Look, I'm assuming the point of sending me an anon is because you don't agree and you don't know what to do with that, but you also don't want to reblog and you want to make sure I see this post, because I probably wouldn't. It is totally within your right to argue. I love discussions even with people who do not agree with me. But I want to discuss things. So, give me contextual evidence. Give me lines, give me connections. Connect them dots. Once you have done this then hit me up and we'll discuss. Right now your argument is based on opinion alone. You think this. You think that. Purely speculative. It's not based on anything and therefore can't be argued well. For lack of a better way to say this, I don't care about your opinion. Opinions are not fact. They don't mean anything, they're as good as the people behind them. I want to discuss the text and how it works, and what it does, and how it's supported. The consequences of certain narrative decisions.

So, if you think the IC is supportive and justified and want to tell me specifically, show me how they are--by the book, how scenes are framed, what actions characters take along the path to the end. Not by what you know interventions are or because the idea of mental health/substance abuse issues is generally hard to deal with--that's not good enough. You cannot argue the text without using the text either in quote or paraphrasing or giving examples especially on a post where I am talking about the evidence and the lack of it. You said I wouldn't change my mind, you don't know that. I can certainly see something from your pov, but you have to do more than this.

You chose to leave an anon, so you either do the homework or you don't leave an anon with me.

[noszkass]

ashley tempest winthrope.

thirty six. defense attorney. jai courtney.

“You're supposed to grow out of your horridness, aren't you? I don't think I ever grew out of mine. Sometimes I think it's still inside me, like something nasty I swallowed, that got stuck...”

content warning: mentions toxic, co-dependent relationships; abuse; death of a peer/family member (via murder).

dominant traits. logical, charismatic, gentleman, stoic, focused, patient, selectively affectionate, charming, observant, cautious, possessive, unpredictable, self-preserving, forceful, obsessive, demanding, melancholic, aggressive, irritable, distrusting, unrelenting, loyal, easily jealous, less hair-trigger more berserk button, no-nonsense, quick thinking, dishonest.

fictional parallels. elijah mikaelson (the originals); geralt of rivia (the witcher); henry winter (the secret history); pope cody (animal kingdom); richie gecko (fdtd the series).

○ born into the winthorpe family; known for their successful generational family law practice, as councilmen from neighboring townships, and good for nothin' criminals who latched onto the teat of a community that's long-since given up on them like leaches─depending on what side of miriam's well it is you live in. ashley's particular branch is the former. estate house in rosebush hill drive, debutant turned matron belle mother who just can't seem to find her way around or out of other people's business (including, if not almost invariably, that of all three of her children), and a certain amount of respectability he was brought up to live by.

○ on the surface ashley winthorpe is a deliciously handsome man. wealthy and put together. takes pride in his appearance and family name. he's also well-mannered and polite, and thoughtful in such infinitesimal ways that you never really think much of until after the fact. and there is something so very not right about him. he has a kind smile that never quite reaches the edges of his eyes and though it doesn't necessarily look disingenuous, there's something about it that doesn't exactly leave you with a sense of ease. like an unfamiliar gesture that's been practiced over and over, so many times that it's lost meaning. like it takes the muscles in his face a moment to pull before they settle in the correct spots. he'll have a conversation with you and while at times it seems he's looking right through you, others will have his attention so intensely undivided it feels as if you've been bared naked and left in a cold room. like you've just been caught lying about something and he knows. somehow, he's known all along. because he listens intently when you speak to him and you suspect somehow he never forgets a single thing he's heard.

○ there's no mistaking his booming voice, jarring, even at a whisper sending shockwaves through your core that has you on high alert. even when it's soft and lulling (in an attempt to offer comfort or catching him melt into the woman he's declared the love of his goddamn life from the corner of your eye through the crack in his office door), there's something threatening that looms. less like hard blunt force and more like a living, breathing fog that blankets you with strong arms, settles deep into your gut, coils itself around your innards, and wrings you dry. the confusing part? you know, without a doubt, he would protect you with no hesitation and ask for nothing in return. and, most of the time, you'd be right. because ashley winthorpe is a good man. no matter how your instincts thrash, screaming at you otherwise.

plot hooks.

i apologize, some of these are all very specific to a singular plot and i could've just included them in a legit request 😬🙃

○ sandbox love never dies. a very specific and imperfect friend group cast in the roles of bastard, bleeding heart, damaged, golden, grim, ingénue, temptress, and wild card. they've been together since any of them can remember. spent their whole lives dreaming about trying to get out of miriam's well, but instead only found tragedies that bind them to each other. tragedies, usually, of their own making. you'll be able to read a little more about these characters in the sandbox love request, which i promise is coming!! there is a doc in the works with more information + a plot server, so expect to be part of those things if you take one of these babes!

○ his secretary. in the past he's helped her out with something legally and she's kind of in his debt, though he insists time and time again she owes him nothing of the sort. i figured it'd be something along the lines of strong holding an ex-boyfriend or husband who wouldn't leave her alone (making her miserable, or something like refusing to pay child support he'd been ordered to pay, dragging her name through the mud, etc. general nuisances to nip in the bud/bad behavior in need of correcting before they became worse as they usually do. you get the idea), because that's notoriously right up his alley. likely using non-legal means to get there; intimidation is sort of his thing. and while he may not be the type of boss or co-worker who meets you for drinks after you clock out, he does have an affection for every single one of his employees and seeing as how she works with him the most, she'd be near the top of that list. maybe she was intimidated by him in the beginning and now she knows he's not everything he appears to be. and they have an understanding.

○ the weight of his guilt. [cw: murder. this will come much later in the plot!] the winthorpes are a family on two very extremes of a type of people. [the bastard] is his cousin on his father's side, a wayward little sister who got knocked up by someone unbefitting of the family and then marrying someone worse by their standards when the father got himself put away over an affair or something just as unbecoming. ashley was always raised closely with [the bastard], his father's hope to sway the boy of many wasted talents to the right side of the family, to make something of himself. but he's a product of his lineage. and only ever finds situations for ash to get him out of. eventually, [the bastard] who he will murder, cold and bloody and bury at the base of an old oak tree will disappear. and ashley's guilt will cause him to reach out. as far as anyone knew, they were the best of friends. always together (even if that relationship was practically handwrought by his father, and he had little-to-no patience for his cousin's antics). it'll be only natural that he come by every now and again to check on them, show care, help fix up things around the house that [the bastard] would have if he were still around. because it'll ultimately be ash's fault he's gone. partially. [the bastard] will deserve what he gets and no one who'll know will be able to convince him anything otherwise, but his family didn't deserve the fallout that came after. maybe a parent or sibling or someone [the bastard] claimed to love while making his way through the female population of miriam's well.

○ the other two winthrope children. they're expected to be upstanding citizens to combat the trash reputation the other winthrope side creates. father is one of a long line of lawyers (with a main practice just outside of town, ashley's secondary office in mw because he prefers it here) and mother is a homemaker whose extracurriculars might as well be solid, paying jobs. they have three children together; ashley (being the oldest son), a daughter magnolia (and the only girl -- taken by sage), and the youngest son, credence (who is very likely expected to join the family business, like ashley). i don't expect anyone to make the parents even though that would be incredible? but they all still have rooms at their home in rosebush hill drive to use at their leisure. it wouldn't at all be out of the question that some of the children still live there -- especially the daughter if she's unwed. they're very old fashioned southern that way. they do these big family events where everyone is expected to participate, go on vacations and holidays together, and church on sundays regardless of your personal beliefs on the matter (that you had very well better keep to yourself if they don't align, ashley has learned). their grandfather also lives in the family house after losing grandma a few years back.

[hildagirl99]

The last Outlaw

(part 1)

Bill, like every night, wakes up from the same nightmare, a shadow chasing him calling him.

"Is it still the same nightmare?" Aiyanna asks, who was by his side.

"Yes… I don't know why. I don't believe in premonitory dreams." Bill answers.

"Is there something bothering you lately? A fear? A person?"

"Not really…"

"No, just… hope."

"A hope ?"

"Yes, you know that for the past month I've been trying to find information about my missing father." Said Bill.

"Maybe it's him you see in a dream."

"Maybe… you know this mission is my last chance to find my father. I need all the information I can get. I need my mother, also see if he doesn't have any friends."

"Bill, without wanting to make you lose hope, but maybe you have to face reality ... your father may have died. It's been 45 years since he disappeared and when we go to conquer the however, we seldom come back alive. "

"I need to know! I can tell he's still alive!" Bill said, determined.

Aiyanna sighs. When Bill was determined, it was impossible for him to go back.

"If that's it, then I'll come with you." She says.

"Sorry ?"

"No matter how dangerous, I'll follow you."

"If you say so, I will feel less alone. I will go see my mother the next day, because tomorrow is when my expedition starts. Please don't tell Tanka about it." Bill smiles before going back to sleep.

The next day, Bill goes to his mother, who was waiting for him with her 5 brothers and sisters.

"It's been a long time…" her older brothers, twins John and Ethan were saying.

"The last time was 2 years ago… What did you do?" Asks his big sister, Martha.

"Well… that's why I want to see you, I need your help." Bill answers.

"If it's to ask for money, it's no." Teases his big brother, Tom.

"No, it concerns our family."

"Do you want to talk about daddy?" Julia, the last of the family, recalls.

"How do you know…" Bill sighs.

"My intuition, big brother."

"Precisely, in a little while, I am leaving… I am going on a trip, to try to find him."

"Are you serious? But… isn't it a bit too late? Bill… we had already tried but nothing. We can only conclude that he is dead." Martha said.

"No… you have to persevere! I will do what you all were unable to do!" Bill writes, exhausted to hear that his father may be out of this world.

His brothers and sisters look at each other, as if he is right.

"Have your own experience, bro. We trust you." Said Tom.

"Dead or alive, I'll find him."

"And what do you want to ask us in the end?" John asks.

"Do… do you have a picture of him?"

"A photo? Uh… I think you should ask mom. But I'm afraid she's gotten rid of it."

"Whatever!" Bill said walking over to his mother.

His mother, Lana, since the disappearance of her beloved, her life no longer had any meaning or interest. She held on thanks to her children. She stayed most of the time in her room embroidering or knitting. For 30 years, she had sent letters to her love hoping in return for his news. She had given up since, as if she had completely forgotten. Bill was not to rush her.

"Hello Mom." He said in a low voice.

"I thought you were in jail after everything you had done for us." She replies, not taking her eyes off her knitting.

"Mom… I was doing it for you, to keep us from starving. I apologize if I had to be away for a while."

"What's your excuse?"

"Mum, I… do you have a picture of daddy?" He asks.

Lana stops knitting. Bill knew it was difficult to talk about his father.

"I don't know what you're talking about…" she replied after a long silence.

"Mom… seriously, it's for a good cause! Remember! You certainly have a picture of daddy! I'm asking you that because I'm going to look for him!"

Lana's eyes widen.

"Come on… I didn't think you would really go looking for him, there is no hope that you would find him."

“Mom, please…” Bill pleads.

"You're like him… I don't want you to go! You risk your life! Go north alone, you have to be suicidal!" Said her mother getting up from her chair.

"It doesn't matter! Dead or alive! I'll find him!"

"Geez, you've got all of him… determined, fearless and stubborn…"

"Mom, just a picture of him." Said Bill ignoring what she just said.

"It's not very visible but I'll show it to you anyway." She said moving to her nightstand.

She pulls out a tiny, yellowish, worn photo.

"It's him…"

Bill is speechless, as if he held the Holy Grail.

"My god… I had no idea what he looked like when I was a baby but now I have a face on my dad. I understand why you tell me I look a lot like him…" he said.

"But what's the use of this photo? He's aged a lot in 45 years… how are you going to recognize him, if god knows he's alive." Lana asks.

Bill was moved to hold in his hand the only photo of his missing father.

"I don't know… what was his name?"

"He was known as Jack Terror when he was a bandit… His name was Jacky."

"Jacky… daddy… Jack Terror…" Bill whispers, staring at the picture.

"This is the only photo of him… I pray with it every night since his disappearance."

"Don't worry… I won't take it… I finally have a face and a name on our father." He said, returning the photo to her.

"When are you going to leave?" Asks his mother.

"I'll start the research, when and where last we saw it, tomorrow. There must be records of the gold conquest." He replies.

"Bill… please I don't want to lose you like I lost your father. Just be careful! If anything happens to you, I'll never forgive myself…"

Bill turns around and hugs his mother.

"Don't worry, mom, I'm careful, I love to play with death…"

"Cheeky kid…" his mother said, smiling weakly.

After saying goodbye to his mother, he walks over to his siblings.

"Be careful bro, it doesn't matter if you can find a trace of daddy." John said.

"Don't worry, I'll do my best, I'm doing it for all of us." Bill responds with a wink.

Back in the Indian tribe, with Aiyanna.

"Did you get any information?" She asks.

"I had a face and a name on my dad, but right after that, it's going to be serious. I'll dig deeper."

"Do you plan to brief Lorelei and Penny on your trip?"

"* Sigh * I don't want to endanger them, especially not my daughters and my son. This is my story, it's only about me. I don't want to cause them concern."

"You're not causing any concern, honey. I'm happy to participate in your research. And if it's important to you, you don't have to tell them."

Bill looks on the horizon.

"I will not do."

"I could come ?" Said Tanka, their son.

"Tanka? No… it's dangerous." Said Aiyanna.

"Dad will need a pair of fangs if there's a bad beast or bad character around."

"Hehe definitely… like father like son… we'll go together, but if I feel the danger is approaching, run and hide when I tell you." Laughs Bill.

At nightfall, everything was calm, a little too calm, a thick fog surrounds the tribe.

"Brrr… it's suddenly cold." Said Aiyanna.

"Is it normal in August?" Bill asks.

"No… Oh !! Look!"

In the shadows behind the teepees, a gigantic lean form moves slowly.

"My god !! But what is it?"

Suddenly they hear war cries and barking.

"Quick! Let's get out!"

And what they saw froze them in place. The creature was about 3 meters tall, it stood on its skinny legs, it possessed a long tail, one could distinguish in the middle the bones of its half-gnawed tail, the monster had a bone head in the shape of a deer with horns, and finally, large hands with long claws. The Indians were around the beast, screaming to frighten it, that didn't help, it only made the beast even more angry, it growled.

"This is ... this is ..." Aiyanna stutters.

Tanka was close to the beast trying to bite it in his wolf form.

"Tanka !! Back off !! You're going to be hurt!" Bill writes running to his son.

Bill's screams attract the beast, which turns its head towards him. She walks up to him. Bill's legs remain frozen in place, unable to move.

"Daddy !! Go away !!" Said Tanka.

An Indian throws a stone at the beast to divert its attention. She growls and leaps at the Indian, grabbing him by the mouth before running away.

"My ... god ... what is ..."

"It was the wendigo !!" Writes Aiyanna.

"Wendi what?"

"The wendigo! A cursed Native American creature! What was he doing in our tribe? And he took one of our brothers!"

"Are we cursed? If the wendigo has come to our tribe, it means a bad omen." Sighs the Indian chief.

"But can someone explain to me what wendigo is?" Bill asks in confusion.

"It is an evil creature, often depicted with a human body and the head of a deer. It is a cursed creature that only lives to eat human flesh ..."

"If he's around, he's got no more to eat and now he's coming here to get food… we're on his hunting ground now." Said Aiyanna.

The whole tribe was now in a panic.

"It's weird… he didn't seem to be hunting…" Bill thought.

"And how do we kill this creature?" Aiyanna asks.

"Nothing… his skin is hard as a stone, our arrows will do nothing. Only fire is fatal to him." The chef answers.

To be continued...