#(Internship is going. Well. It's going)

[mueritos]

trying to be more accepting of the likelihood I am autistic, I feel ive been having this constant back and forth conversation with myself for the past 2 years about it. "you can go to school, be a therapist for people, run errands, win awards, and somehow fit 2 jobs into all of that" and I use that as proof that I am NOT autistic...however, realizing i lose an entire weekend for a trip? distress. fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night and leaves me trembling, crying, and forced to recover? oh boy i wonder why that happened. feeling confused and like i'm constantly missing something when people express themselves in class or in the workplace? hm, it's almost as if I struggle to not take their language literally.

i don't think i've ever been allowed to be "disabled" by whatever neurodivergency and its symptomology, like, ever. god speed any other neurodivergent children of immigrants, but i don't feel allowed to let any cluster of disturbances or schedule changes or social conundrums disable me. I mean, they can affect me privately, where I am forced to stim and cry and process all on my own. But unfortunately i cannot look like the misshapen freak I feel I am, or well, as least not appear so in a socially unacceptable way.

it's funny i carry so much shame. i am unmasking in ways i never thought i could. i am allowing myself to take things literally with people, and I am allowing myself to ask more questions. "what did you mean by that?" "why did you use that word to describe that?" "can you rephrase that?" it's funnier that I am at such a queer and neurodiverse internship; nearly all of the other clinical staff have some sort of diagnosis (usually adhd/ocd/with flavors of trauma), and we all serve a population of the queerest and most neurodiverse students. i feel SO happy when I see a student and they refuse to make eye contact with me, because I take it as an invitation to NOT look them in the eye too! i tell students during our sessions feel free to stim, here's a weighted plushie you can hold, sit where you like, would you like to pace, should I dim the lights? it is even funnier that i am a neurodivergent clinician working with neurodivergent people, and half the time I dont even follow the same advice I give my clients!

i worry about what my life will look like when i've graduated. my master's will say, "hey, this guy is a clinical social worker and is now ready to be your therapist! or caseworker! whatever they have you people do nowadays!" and I don't think i feel ready to enter any workforce. how on earth will i manage my life and wellbeing doing this 40 hours a week? like wtf? ugh.

i dunno. these r just rambles and perhaps im just seeking some sort of comfort from other autistic people, especially because it feels like i have very few autistic people in my life. i know a lot of the validation i seek will be "resolved" if i seek out an official diagnosis, but I don't have time or $ for that. nor do I think I want one for a number of reasons. I should just continue working on my own self-esteem when it comes to most likely being autistic.

oh well

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 280

Let me kick down the door and- 

Nekomatta Danny. But not just any nekomata Danny. I am saying space cat boy. Twin-tails that seem to flicker into an aurora, into distant galaxies, ghostly flames that could be just that, or could be flickers of distant stars and suns. 

Now, the thing is? Being a ghost, very much illegal in the USA right now, doesn’t matter how many times they throw out the GIW, they can’t exactly take on the entire government any time soon. What isn’t illegal? Being an alien, meta, or any other magical creature. 

So the halfas, yes that (ugh, really Jordan) does include Vlad, all get together to hash out a plan to get out of Amity. And? They like cats, you like cats right? And they have friends- or allies- in the Zone, so maybe they can perhaps get a few… oh? What’s this? A cat-like creature with necromatic powers? Yeah they can- oh. Hm. So that’s replaced their ghost form now. 

That’s fine actually! They’re still ghosts- just erm, no longer human looking. And Vlad can continue to use his human form- yes we need to keep the bracelets on to hide the ears and tails, whatever- to continue running DalvCo. 

It’s not bad, and they’ll admit Vlad has been getting better. Sure there’s still a bunch of blackmail (Jordan, Sam, stop helping him-), but they honestly? Can’t be brought to care. They’re adjusting- grieving in some cases- and focusing on actually finishing everything before the summer ends. 

So it’s probably not a good time for heroes to start investigating Vlad…

If you want a basic summary on Bakeneko and Nekomata, which I HEAVILY recommend reading: 

https://yokai.com/bakeneko/  https://yokai.com/nekomata/ 

[mpekamitzii]

My girl !!

[fire-bay]

looking forward to getting paid for the first time as an ER doctor

[miodiodavinci]

head in hands like "maybe i should have realized this about myself sooner" as i am surrounded by neon flashing signs that Very Clearly Indicate the thing i should have realized about myself sooner

[lynchiangf]

it's crazy how I still have to write a long ass thesis when I literally don't gaf about uni anymore these days

[thatuselesshuman]

Today is the day everyone...

I FINALLY SIGNED MY LEASE ON MY NEW APARTMENT AND I GOT AN INTERNSHIP AT NASA AHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm moving into my new apartment in a week and I start my new job/internship in 2 weeks

I finally feel like an actual adult 😭😭

[megumi-fm]

.

[jonquilyst]

I was finally added to the teams page on my work's website 😏

I truly feel like running my simblr is keeping my design skills fresh, especially photoshop. I hardly ever used photoshop in my graphic design classes, so without simblr my photoshop skills would def be a lot rustier (and photoshop is more necessary at my job). I guess that's why I enjoy it as a hobby: it allows me to keep designing and make what I wanna make without the limitations of a clients' needs and wants.

Along with using photoshop for screenshot editing, all of the banners I've made (The Runaway, TDS 1 and 2, and the One Life Challenge) were all made entirely from scratch via illustrator

[royalarms]

I MADE IT HOOOMEEE

[wanderingwolpertinger]

just got out of what was supposed to be just a phone screen with an HR guy but then 15 minutes before was changed to an interview over zoom with multiple engineers. if they were trying to catch me off guard they have succeeded. alas and alack

[fangswbenefits]

If only.............

[gigantomachylesbian]

Everybody PLEASE send me good vibes I am trying to get financial aid to let me go back to college this semester -___-

[e77y]

It's just me and my plush carrot against the world

[miodiodavinci]

laying down by a brook with one hand in the water like some kind of tragic prince , , , , , ,

[karanan]

Devastatingly, my stipend application for one year of artistic work was denied. They can't specify why due to the high volume of applications. The type of application I sent is extremely competitive and only about 10% go through. I've also heard it's incredibly hard for 1st timers and new artists to get any grants so it's not shocking, it still stings though.

Gonna be a very difficult year economically unless I magically get an actual job and not just an internship.