#(IDK IT JUST GIVES A LOT OF DUMB FUN THOUGHTS BUT YEAH THEY SEEM WAY COMPLICATED TO TRY AND THERE'D BE SO MANY ROUTES)

[stars-on-fyre]

Idk about y’all but I think Deadpool & Wolverine is putting my faith back into Marvel a little because it was honestly one of the best Marvel movies I’ve seen in a hot minute

Spoilers/rant in tags!!! 🏷️

[bulbabutt]

ok. elephant in the room or shit i thought about a while ago but didnt post, my going theory on the rise cancellation which idk if its a theory more-so as reading the room and putting the pieces together.

it seems like playmates fault to me on account of the toys being shit and then cancelled outright. like waves of toys ready to go in 2019, none saw the light of day.

obvs a lot of them were shit, not the point. the point being theres up to 6 waves of toys on the table at 2019 toy fair, only 1 and 2 were made. compare to the last toyfair showing the mutant mayhem toys.

playmates made both of these era of toys. do you see how much more effort went into one than the other. you can say movies are more popular blah blah blah. but playmates has made ALL tmnt toys since they ever existed, and comparing the rise toys to even the previous shows toys it seems obvious where they put the money.

anyway my theory here is playmates got told (or given or offered or whatever) mutant mayhem. they immediately went. oh. yeah this will make us money. lets start prepping moulds for this now, lets get ready to sell a shit ton of different stuff. and they just left all those rise things on the cutting room floor. they didnt tell anyone on the team they were gonna do that. they didnt say "yeah it doesnt matter what you do cuz we have this NEW thing coming" they just abandoned it. they pretended theyd give it a chance to come back if their movie went well just to appease them and us, cuz they saw more money elsewhere.

the dumb shit about that is like imagine saying that about like. batman or the avengers or something. yeah we wont make this cartoon anymore cuz we have a theatrical movie coming in 3 years. like. you can have more than one iteration YOU DID IT WITH 12.

truly this is nothing against mutant mayhem by all accounts it looks amazing, my point here is that im sick of playmates fucking over each tv show with their stupid hunks of plastic. it has in fact happened each time, rise was just faster

87 was good, then there were the 90s movies that got popular enough that the show needed to be closer in style to.

03 was good, then it got dark, told to be more fun (cuz kids like ben 10 now) so they made fast forward, which was also good but in its own way, but then tmnt 2007 came out and playmates literally said "nope nope, we want to save on moulds so change your show to look like this movie" then 07 didnt go well cuz warner bros didnt fucking market it (what i heard from a podcast w nolan north was that they were super preoccupied marketing the shit out of 300 at the time. which. ok very weird choice for kids toys)

then we have 2012 after nick buys the franchise. and 12 has the weird tonal dissonance of dark stuff and kid stuff, with the most "designed to be toys" characters in it, clearly messing w things in the show itself while it was going.

then bayverse comes out along side it and once its over we get rise, where the designs clearly take inspiration from that movie (donnie and raph specifically)

then mutant mayhem is announced and rise just. fades out of existence. planned seasons cut and cancelled. planned toys disappear.

anyway. none of those shows are bad. none of the movies that come out along side them are bad. its just the dumbassery of like. not being allowed more than one iteration at a time, and its nOT on account of popularity or brand synchronizing like youd think, its literally to not have to make as many DIFFERENT SHAPED hunks of plastic! its fucking stupid. rise's downfall seems to be POOR FUCKING PLANNING on playmates part for THEIR shitty toys and then also being cheap/unwilling to have TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF TOYS AT ONCE (proof being the 03/07 thing)

anyway. thats my theory or whatever that fills me with rage. i hate playmates and i think its insane that the downfall of rise literally comes down to two stupid companies and their desire to sell garbage to children.

[nebelihood]

Roots & Scales

SO- BECAUSE THIS IS MY ACCOUNT AND I'VE DRAWN WAY TOO MUCH NOT TO SHOW ANYTHING. I wanna share things about it (In case I lose my drawings some how- have a trace online) But I don't wanna post it all cause I'm tooo lazy so I'll only focus on individual characters from my friends and how they relate to mine. So! (idk maybe just to get to the current point oof the campaing.)

DISCLAIMER: Drawings will be in spanish cause the campaing is in spanish.

FIRST UP!

Vaarsyl:

HE ANNOYING af. First he was silent, just a loner character. Not wanting anyone to mind his own business. Right from the top- Mako saved him from getting attack by a mutant potato (Cause that's how Mako has to be) and later when he lost a lot of health and some roots grabbed him. Vaarsyl cured him adding a sassy comment "We are even" cause that's how Vaarsyl is.

I think he was both both curious about Mako and having a blast making fun of him and his grumpy attitud (Also about the fact that he was monkey looking and has never seen anything like it)

Also just as a side note. VAARSYL DID SOMETHING VERY QUESTIONABLE ALMOST THE THE BEGINNING OF THE CAMPAING AHHAHAAHA- They killed some bandits who attacked them during the night:( Mako didn't like killing. One was still alive and Mako wanted to let him live. Obviously Vaarsyl was like "Are you dumb? he tried to kill us" the rest of the gang was also somewhat unsure about what to do. Vaarsyl "forced" the bandit to "TURN" into his religion HAHAHAHAHA and then he'd let him live. Obviously the guy said "YEAH SURE WHATVEVER JUST LET ME LIVE" and that was that.

O MAKO PUSHED VAARSYL AFTER HE OUT OF NO WHERE SLAPPED OUR DRIVER'S HEAD

Mako was generally annoyed by him and his smartass/sassy comments.

Then Vaarsyl became more physical which clearly annoyed Mako even more.

Mako was angry at something that happened in the campaing. A decision he hated. I think Vaarsyl did notice this and didn't bother him this time.

omg- they became roomies HAHAHA. Vaarsyl didn't wanna share a room with a woman and Aramis didn't wanna share a room with Vaarsyl it seems. Mako couldn't really complain.

This has nothing to do with Mako I just thought it was funny how Vaarsyl feels naked without his armor.

VAARSYL STRAIGHT OUT BULLYING!!!! Mako was highly annoyed by his snarky and mean comments. But since he still considered him a stranger not worth his time. He remain bitter and didn't act upon them.

Ok Vaarsyl being dumb and kicking a door instead of opening it with his hands. (he was annoyed with our supervisor)

OH IN THE HEADQUARTERS OF THE CITY WE WERE STAYING AT. A GUY DIDN'T LIKE VAARSYL'S RELIGION AT ALL. Things started to scalate. Mako because he didn't want conflict tried to drag Vaarsyl out of the room. They settled on a duel the next day or when they are back from their trip (which we never will so there's that) Anyway- Vaarsyl remained there stiff and slapped Mako's back without looking at him to let him know everything was fine. LATER HE SLAPPED HIS HEAD???? AND MAKO GOT MAD AND WANTED TO NOW YES GIVE IT BACK- but thankfully Alaine stepped in.

Guards

Ok- so, some of Vaarsyl can be funny.

Mako stopping Vaarsyl from hitting in the head their boss.

THE FIRST CONFRONTATION. They are both looking for different things. No one really knows what Vaarsyl is looking for. But at some point both their searches kind of pointed at the same direction. Which made Mako even more curious about Vaarsyl. Vaarsyl as reserved as he is. He didn't want Mako snooping in his things. Mako started gatekeeping a book that seemed important to both of them for different reasons. This made Vaarsyl very angry.

THE TACO FIGHT.

So Mako was starting to be done with Vaarsyl's annoying comments. But still couldn't do anything about them. So asked the taco lady to put a lot of salt on Vaarsyl's order to spite him. Mako didn't think it would work but it did. Vaarsyl managed to discover Mako had something to do with it and was already fed up because of what had happened with the book yesteray. So they started arguing right there in the restaurant. It was a mess. Mako slept on a tree that night and the group was tense.

Next day both pretended nothing had happened for the sake of the group. They even teamed up helping Aramis sell something for a very VERY high price.

Mako became more interested in the information he found in the book. Still tried to find the connection between Vaarsyl with his search for Enyo.

During a party to celebrate their accomplishments- Mako tricked Vaarsyl into getting drunk to get out information from him. He couldn't get anything useful.

[kalisseo]

Joanfk?

I know who you are im gonna get you.

anyway, SIGHHHH joanfk there's a lot to unpack here.

okay so I want to start with I was a joanfk shipper when i first watched s1. yeah.

well i wasn't an avid fan like with tophabe it was more like Oh yeah they're cute! I liked the scene of jfk telling Joan he liked her for who she was

but eh that's like, bare minimum for a relationship

I think they have something fun to offer, jock x goth, popular x unpopular

buttttt S2 ruined them, sorry I don't know how the common opinion was that they were the only good thing like NO they were the WORST thing or one of the worst

also s2 made me hateee jfk I kinda get to like him more in s3 but joanfk in s3 doesn't exist so yeah

anyway, overall i just think that they just, idk they simply don't work, Joan craves more deep connection (in my opinion) and well yeahhh jfk loves her i guess, but he's dumb, and he doesn't care about deep things or whatever, and he doesn't seem to be like, actually supportive in her interests well they just, kiss and have sex and that's it that's the chemistry

alsoo joan wasn't the best either, she wanted jfk to change and seemed to like him way more in spring break when he was smart 😭😭😭 she was desperate to keep him like that, and well she even said it she was just attracted to him she didn't say she was in love in sexy ed

imo she just got with him because she wanted to forget abe, but there wasn't much in common other than they thought the other one was hot too, and jfk eh he gets with any girl

and they're not exactly what I like in a ship not even in s1 so personally that makes me like them less

and they're not even fun to watch imo, they're boring and even uncomfortable sometimes (yes i know clone high had sex jokes since s1 i just think joanfk made them more frequent)

they could've been great, or at least okay i think if they worked on giving them actual chemistry

and even though joan wanted to change him once or whatever she seemed like happy idk how to say it i mean they do seem to be in love I guess in a way which makes it more annoying to me like joan get out please

anyway that's all whatever i like to explore joanfk as worst couple ever tbh but not as actually romantic or cute, I do still find some fan arts cute, I think some people's interpretation on it are way better than the show but this is show wise

so yeah they had an opportunity i guess, but they're horrible to me and i hate them

[wawamouse]

so you write Oz like it’s high concept novel quality I just wanted to say that first off. Fontana should give you the rights tbh

curious as to if you see the potential to ever write Miguel/Alonzo as romantic or mutual? the way you write them is so rawly intriguing and ambiguous the way it is dgmw! just that I find it interesting to consider them in all different configurations w romance+the Consequences thereof as one of many options

Hahah thank you <3

Idk, tbh I’ve never thought of writing Miguel/Alonzo straight up… I know I have like 1 fic tagged as them but I should probably take that tag off the fic bc it’s not really there like that/I scaled back on some of stuff I had planned anyway :S… It’s kinda funny because I remember watching Oz Youtube clips before I’d watched the show (like, back in middle school maybe, when I was a dumb little homo desperate to find queer rep in media blah blah blah). Back then lowkey highkey being very intrigued by Torquemada, but then I watched the actual show and I was like oh boo… He’s barely in it.

That’s all to say, I find him entertaining as a character and I think it’d be interesting to try and tackle a character study of him (of course, I’d be making up a lot 🥴) but I don’t think my default interpretation of his character is really a thing that makes it possible to write him in any kind of romantic relationship, you know? Based on what little we learn of him from the show, I feel like his main thing is like getting off on power imbalances, voyeurism, enmeshment—that kind of thing. Which is interesting! But yeah, no, I don’t really see romance for him. Without getting too into it, he seems more… business minded, to me? I feel like he just wants to scare the hoes and get rich, which is pretty funny of him. I think exploring some kind of dynamic between Miguel and Alonzo that I haven’t already done yet would be fun bc I tend to write Alonzo as just a creep near Miguel, unless he’s an AU version of himself… and honestly, I prefer the idea of a fun, chaotic Torquemada to the creep but it's so clear that Miguel thinks Alonzo's a creep that I guess I end up writing him that way too 🤷🏻‍♂️

Writing a fic where Alonzo turns out to be actually helpful/a tentative ally once/if Miguel is able to set boundaries/get his head on right, etc, would be interesting 🤔, but yeah, that’s about the extent of where my head’s at with them. Plot Plot, not ship stuff LOL.

(Rambled, sorry + this is probably not the answer you were looking for so sorry x2)

Tldr: I don’t think writing Miguel/Alonzo as mutual or romantic is really in the cards for me atm

[fandomsoda]

Alright SU progress report 1 (spoilers ahead)

Got through episodes 1-29

Overall experience?: I’m having fun, it’s alright, I like it. It’s keeping my attention enough for me to be able to solidly binge it.

Favorite character so far?: Uuuuuhhhh Idk probably Amethyst.

Ships?: No strong opinions yet

Thoughts on lore/overall show atmosphere?: The show’s gorgeous (at least the environments are) and the lore seems neat even though you’re very… thrown right into it. I don’t think it does a good job establishing the world, episode 1 just kinda happens and you get no context, no explanation, no one’s gonna tell you anything unless you’re watching with someone, and I do not think that is good writing. Pacing seems a bit too fast, I know the show has a shorter individual episode run time but it felt like things really weren’t built up enough. Things often just kinda happen and very few scenes are given the proper weight I think they deserve.

Individual character opinions:

Steven?: He is… something. He becomes way less unbearable, but early on he’s very difficult to watch. I never really hated him as I know he’s a young, inexperienced character and he’s supposed to be a tad annoying, but god the second-hand embarrassment! I also feel like he is dumbed-down way too fucking hard. Like it often feels like the writers have a vendetta against him with how shockingly oblivious and idiotic they make him at times, it is so frustrating. He’s way more likable later on, in exchange for feeling unnoteworthy. He’s the titular character, the generic starry-eyed protagonist, and I don’t really care that much. He bounces off of everyone well, but doesn’t have a lot going for himself individually.

Pearl?: I like Pearl, she’s fun, responsible, and resourceful. A mom friend if I’ve ever seen one and often pretty endearing, if overbearing at times. It’s a very basic archetype but it works.

Amethyst?: I like her a lot. Her attitude is fun, she is VERY pretty, and she’s often funny and interesting. However often she can come across as an asshole and her antics can wind up not fun so- yeah.

Garnet?: Garnet definitely has her moments but I do not like how robotic she acts. She feels like she should talk more and express more, and her only super expressive moment being her lashing out and being cruel to someone/thing who could not hurt her does not sweeten the deal.

Greg?: Massive shrug, has his moments but can also suck.

Lars?: Fun to watch, easy to emphasize with, kind of an asshole though.

Sadie?: (just gonna sum this up in the advice I’d like to give her) Girl I understand your pain and you deserve better so LEAVE HIS ASS.

Connie?: She’s neat. Her getting her eyesight cured did leave a bad taste in my mouth, though. Not her fault, however.

Lapis?: I like her a lot and I wish she stuck around for longer. I feel like enough time wasn’t spent on her story, and the scene of her gem getting healed went by too quickly and happened too suddenly.

Additional tidbits, giggles, and jokes:

wound up calling who Lapis was going to be given me already associating that gemstone with water

After observing how even the normal human world feels like it’s on something in this show and everyone seems like they’ve got something wild going on, I coined the term/saying “on some Beach City shit”, something to refer to when something/someone has the certain brand of weirdness Beach City does.

that’s all for now, having fun but not blindly loving the show, please don’t kill me.

people who wanted to be tagged directly: @dinosaurzzz @everydaygremlin

[nonclassyparty]

listen honestly woo pissed me off so bad this chapter. the way he defended yeosang and hit mc with the “he didn’t do anything wrong” i’m just like “you KNOW what he did, she cried to you about it idk how many times!! like is he playing dumb?” you like yeosang that much that you’d throw away a friendship like that? you only knew him for a week!! (i know it was longer but still 🙄)

and i know it’s their personality but idk why the first thing he isn’t trying to do is apologize to her. i feel like she genuinely deserves that but ig it’d feel like he’s apologizing for being with yeosang which is something he isn’t sorry for but at that point i’d fight bc what happened for y’all to fall that hard so fast you’d do your best friend like that?? we’d be fighting. it was definitely unfair and a cop out to throw it in her face how she lied to him and use that as justification bc she had apologized already and was even making an effort to not to do that again so idk where the hell he got off thinking it was his turn

and thinking about it now in the past ten chapters no one’s truly apologized to this girl after the bs they have put her through. and then have the nerve to try and feel sorry but never outright just say “i’m sorry for..” like i would be losing it

nono when he said "he didn't do anything wrong" he was referring to present time and the way yn was treating him in that moment, obv wy knows what ys did wrong otherwise he wouldn't have been hiding their relationship.

and wooyoung's first instinct WAS to apologize but the more yn was hostile the more he started giving her the same treatment as thats how they were when they were kids like they're both extremely explosive and when they go against each other like this it always brings out the worst in one another bc they're so similar. in chp 2 i think she even describes wy as being the only one who can keep up with her in that scenario and says he knows how to be even worse than her (meaning more cruel when the two of them get into it). the only difference is that after they become friends, yn always repeats to herself how she couldnt do or say anything to hurt wy which is why she held back so many times in the past but wy didn't do the same thing for her and i think besides the lying that's the thing that will hurt the most for her. that people who she always holds herself back from hurting when she's angry don't seem to be doing the same for her. which is heartbreaking...yeah 😭 and he's gonna hate himself for it (he already does)

besides that, he'll never be sorry for being in a relationship with ys bc that would make yeo feel like shit as well no? he's only sorry for lying and hiding stuff from yn and now for throwing san in her face like that.

your last paragraph got me thinking a little bit...bc i have never even thought of writing any of these characters to be nicer to her in the moments when they're supposed to be 'mean' no matter how bad they might seem. i guess what makes people think they can be unapologetically cruel to her is because she is cruel herself so they think she can handle it and that she won't even be thinking too much about it bc she's just in her own little world which is obviously wrong and she's a lot softer than she lets on and she was from the start. wy obviously knows better than that but san, mingi, hwa, her parents, jennie and the rest of those girls they all think she can handle it bc of the cold, untouchable and sometimes simply mean attitude that she carries herself with.

thanks for this message by the way, it's really fun to discuss like this with you guys <3

[icespyders]

i finished disco elysium today!!! & as someone who plays a lot of choice-based rpgs, the way the game acknowledged the way i played was particularly fun and rewarding (readmore for spoilers)

so obv at the end you're confronted by the cops from harry's precinct and kim can defend you (i assume if he hates you, he does not defend you, but i literally unlocked that Goodest Of The Good Cops achievement at the end of day 1, because i've been trained on bioware games to make every companion in every video game love me), and i got a real kick out of some of the dialogue i got during that finale sequence. particularly: one thing kim said to defend me was that i was unbelievably stubborn and thorough chasing down leads, no matter how vague or unrelated to the actual case they seemed to be, and that's 100% how i play rpgs lmao, i chase down every dumb random sidequest no matter how far it diverts me from the main plot. and in this game, some of my most joyful/interesting/thought-provoking/just plain nice moments were in these random sidequest diversions, so i loved how the game basically gives you a thumbs-up for that. and i was really unsure how to play it with evrart & joyce, who i give information to and why/when, and felt like i fucked up, and the game acknowledged that too, kim had some dialogue like, ok, yeah, maybe it wasn't a smart move, he ran his mouth a bit too much to the wrong people, but it was an ethical move and it maybe helped the whole situation, somehow, slightly. and i did okay in the tribunal sequence so kim noted that too, how i got in between the mercenaries and the union guys and put myself in harm's way and minimized the bloodshed. and! i didn't even realize the game would track my drinking/smoking, but the fact that i stayed sober and only smoked once (to light that graffiti on fire, lol, i did it for ART ONLY) was verbally mentioned by a couple characters and seemingly improved their opinion of me. OH OH and i was a very Sorry Cop and characters noted that in particular, kim was like ok yeah he apologizes for everything and it's kind of weird, but still, he's a good guy. and my actual partner is like YEAH YEAH i know you're sorry, you're always sorry, you fucking sad sack. & obviously my insane political views were noted (kim like "i know he's a communist, and also somehow a centrist, idk how he reconciles these things in his mind, but he's a good cop, i promise") (i never got to go back to my communist book club :(((( i read all the literature, i just didn't have time to go back, i ran directly into the plot too fast :(((((((( tragique)

and i was SO EXCITED to meet the phasmid...that was so nice...what a weird and lovely and odd game. it's just very rewarding, because like...i never felt like i was playing Perfectly, yknow? i started the game and was really intrigued by it, but felt a little overwhelmed as my Need To Play Perfectly habit crept in. so i put the game aside for like 9 months, worried i'd never get back to it or finish it, picked it up again 2 weeks ago and felt kinda stuck...and then i got to day 3 and i just cruised through to the end. i played pretty much blind, just looking up a sidequest or two when i was stuck, progression-wise, but i always have this bad habit in rpgs where i want to do things Right and get way too invested deep-diving on wikis trying to orchestrate the most perfect outcomes possible. i tried to kind of free myself of that habit for this game and play looser (though i am grievously guilty of save-scumming ahead of checks and doing dice rolls over and over again, but save-scumming is a sacred art to me, who the fuck doesn't do that in rpgs, if save-scumming is wrong i don't want to be right!!), so i wandered through the game, flailing around and fucking up and failing skill checks, always wondering if i could be Playing Better, but all of that second-guessing is worth it, because in the end i felt really rewarded by this sensation of acknowledgment i got from the game. this feeling that my failures and my successes were noted and catalogued and referenced directly as my companion character sticks up for me at the end. i'm always seeking that in rpgs, that acknowledgment, the sense that my choices mattered and were noted and made both subtle and obvious impacts. and disco elysium has so many variables that i REALLY didn't expect it to be as specific at the finale as it was! like, seriously, i can't get over it, the game scripted shit to acknowledge "you pursued so many fucking sidequests with a maddening and almost obsessive determination, good job," i feel so SEEN. and i got to hold hands with a big bug. what a game

[9800sblog]

I think the reading it was before is fine. You don’t have to change it! I appreciate that you’re willing to change it. it didn’t make me real upset I just feel bad for them cause they got a lot of pressure on them. I know it’s like part of the job but still I just feel empathetic towards theCause even the career can be fun, it’s not always easy and a lot of times very stressful. I’ve loved music and would love to a career but idk if it’s for me cause there’s just too much to risk ya know? Mingi seems so sweet but yea I think people sexualized him, San, Wooyoung, and others a lot. Which they are grown men yes but idk

oh I just wanted to make sure that if my reading made people upset, then, at least I wrote it in a way that ateez would feel comfortable with me sharing, you know? because they like to have good control of their careers and personas, I just wanna make sure that it wouldn't bring trouble.

and yeah, it is pretty sad if you think too much about it, they chose this path when they were kids and didn't know better, they'd probably do it differently if they could, but it's not possible. all that we can do is, with the knowledge we have now, is decide if we like where our future is going and what can we do to change or maintain that?

most times when I read for ateez, specially as a group, the energy is very lighthearted and comfortable, they seem pretty close to each other and really emotionally intelligent. their troubles are very common, with the support they have of close friends and family, they will be fine! it's temporary, it's situational 😁

and, like, it's fine and normal to be attracted to people and have explicit thoughts and conversations about them, but people are too comfortable on the internet saying things that we usually keep private. I've said it before, but I think there's a big difference between east asian fans of kpop and the rest of the world, because it's general knowledge for them that they can pay for events and people to play a part when they're lonely, idols aren't the first people to do that. but, for some reason, foreigners, specially westerners, think that when idols are interacting with them, it's not pretend and they're somehow freeing them from the oh so oppressive asian culture. you can easily find videos online of fans comparing idols in korea vs the usa, for example, and it's so dumb because in both cases, they're just doing their best to get paid.

i think instead of giving up on your passion because you see the troubles, you can learn from them! ateez, specially, are people that you can learn so much from just observing them. ask questions, what can you do differently, with no hurry? how can you slowly introduce music career, in a way that makes your soul happy, into your life? and if you ever meet them, I'm sure they would love to give advices and help, they're good with that.

[kithtaehyung]

i'm in the middle of my third time reding this, gathering my thoughts for a review, and i wanna point out some things real quick

- balcony memories on new years and now on christmas!

- yoongi calls the reader love and i don't even know how to react lol almost swallowed my fist when i realized it

- i'm not 100% sure, but i remember that when the reader finds out about vmin, it's in a context of taehyung acting weird for a while and then saying some stuff about no one likes to be hidden and shit. so it's so so so nice to read they're getting more comfortable to be publicly together (idk if their group knows, but it's p likely)

- if i got it right (and that's a stretch bc my first reads are super dumb lol) the reader was cheated during christmas, right? and, besides, there's some shared trauma with bro, something that happened eight years ago and all, and since there's a bunch of dialogues of bro having to look out for the reader and being her only family, i'm guessing their parents died? can't be sure but... seems pretty likely

- i felt the atmosphere here seemed a bit different from the other chapters (especially bc now i'm reading it all again for reviews). i'm not quite sure what's changed, but i'll investigate. it created a whole different effect, an euphoria and intensity (not the angsty type) that i can't quite place rn... 🤔

anyway, i'm still processing everything ok

but i just wanna say once again, that all your hard work definitely payed off! i'm sorry you had to stress so much over it :( but it truly is perfect. you keep throwing those mesmerizing works everytime and i just can't believe an author like you exists. i'm completely addicted to the way you create and window was just another proof of how talented you are.

i'll sleep now cus it's super late lol and i'm not thinking straight. today at work i was randomly smiling and flushing bc something about the chapter randomly came to mind and my coordinator was throwing me looks like 🧐

LUAAAA i'm gonna answer this but just know i got your fantastic af review on the actual chapter and pretty much sobbed throughout the day because of it LMAOOO thank you so damn much !! it means the world that someone took the time to write all of that out?? to the point where they thought they needed to take some things out because it was too long (when there is no! such! thing!)? made my entire week and it's only monday<3 seriously, thank you endlessly!

as far as this commentary, i think it feels different bc we don't know if it's canon, but they're still themselves - if that makes sense? like the characters are being the same people but the environment coupled with the "side arc" aspect is probably what gives this one a different ambiance. it's a holiday special!! gotta have that sparkly tint on it, too.

and as far as the parents, we don't know yet. but we're slowly getting more and more info the further we get into the story, and i'm sure the full backstory will reveal itself in due time. but you're right about all the bro looking out for reader and all the pressure and stuff. and despite all the tension surrounding bro, the siblings are tight. we'll explore all of that as we go along!

hells yeah to the vmin development! and the yoongi saying that outside of a spicy context oh god my head was spinning??? bye. BYEEE. anyways, thank you so much for the commentary and incredible review on window (that i'm gonna read again soon ahaha.) i appreciate the heck out of you :(( i had a lot of fun writing this one so even though it wore me out, i think it was worth it.

[borealis-hopping]

((WARNING LMAO, this post turned out a lot longer than I thought it would, sorry. Autistic idiot rambles about Jack Stauber for multiple paragraphs.))

TLDR; Watching Jack get popular as a fan who was there before he went viral has been great, however, most people only seem to view his art as nothing but a vehicle for their own. Taking inspiration from other people's art for your art is wonderful and fine, however if you ONLY view someone's art as nothing but a vehicle for your own, it's not great. Doing so ignores the intention behind it, covers up it's original meaning, separates it from it's artist, and ultimately strips it of it's worth as an individual art piece, even if that wasn't your intention at all. ((Also pls listen to more than just the same 4 songs, he has a pretty big amount of music out there and it's all really good, give it a try and stop listening to nothing but "Buttercup"))

vv Thoughts below vv

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Look it's 1am so idk if I'll word my exact feelings on this as ideally as I'd want to but like, I have mixed feelings on the fan base that has formed around Jack Stauber's work.

While yes it is good he's getting popular, and yes it is good he's finding success after all his years of work, and yes I'm happy people are enjoying his music, I can't help but find the fan base that has formed around his music to be fairly disingenuous.

And by disingenuous I mean, most people don't tend to care about the art of the music itself, what any of it actually means, or the heart and intentions put into it, or really Jack himself. Now ik this makes me sound like a pretentious dickbag, but it comes from a place of care.

I love Jack Stauber's work because it's so interesting to me. Not cause "oh wow it's so weird and fucked up!! Jack must be such a fucked up edgy guy to make such surreal art LOL." But because of the amount of soul is in his work.

I think people are too fast to dismiss surreal art as meaningless or weird simply for the sake of being weird, completely missing any thought the artist put into it. Like, if you have the capacity to suspend your disbelief even for a second and look past his arts surreal aspects, you'll see just how /human/ Jack's writing and art is.

While I'm not generalizing EVERY thing he's made or is going to make, ultimately I think Jack's work is about humanity. Human struggle both internal and external, with relationships, grief, communication, and the complexities of self image.

If you pay attention to how he writes his characters, all the dialogue feels really authentic. Like yeah I can imagine passing a person in public who sounds like that or would say that, or I could totally see a person in that context talking like that. He seems to have a really good understanding of people.

The way he portrays them is honest but not nihilistic. They're just people, and sometimes people are a bit weird, or awkward, or just plain dumb. But they're still people and they're not evil for being that way.

Even in Jack's more surreal shorts or songs, if you pay attention to the lyrics and context clues, you can probably derive meaning from it that in one way or another is fairly human and sincere.

Ofc surreal art that is weird or funny or off putting simply for the sake of being so has plenty of worth as well, and I'm sure Jack has just had fun here and there making strange stuff for the sake of making strange stuff. (Think "Nerpo") and that's valid too!

But ig what I'm getting at here is that, more often than not the majority of engagement I see w/ Jack Stauber's work outside of his YouTube channel, is people simply using his work as a vehicle for their own characters or stories, or fandoms.

Now I'm in no way saying that doing that stuff is inherently bad. I do it all the time! Finding inspiration from other artists as a way to express and expand your own art is beautiful and extremely fun, HOWEVER-

That seems to be the /ONLY/ type of engagement there is. Which, sadly, isn't great. Using someone else's pre-made art, especially music, as a vehicle for your own fandom/art isn't bad, however, if you ONLY view that person's art as nothing BUT a vehicle, even if it's not your intention, you completely lose sight of the art you're riding off of. You separate it from it's artist, disregard it's original meaning, cover up the intentions behind it, and ultimately kinda strip it of its own individual worth as a piece of art.

Anyways! Enjoying Jack's work is good but I wish more people would appreciate his work for what it is on it's own, as well as who Jack is as an artist and look at his work with a more realistic and proper perspective even if it does look "weird" or "pointlessly creepy"

Also this is a bit more petty and just how I feel but PLEASE listen to more than just the same 3 to 4 songs. There's nothing wrong with having favorite songs or just listening to the same few songs from an artist and not exploring the rest of their work, and like idc if saying this makes me sound like a shitty hipster- if you're gonna do that just PLEEAASE stop walking around and telling people you're this BIG Jack Stauber fan when the only songs you listen to are "Oh Klahoma" "Coffee" and "Buttercup"

He has SUCH a big selections of tracks out there if you include both the extended and non-extended micropop songs, as well as his albums. My personal favorite album is "HiLo", it means a lot to me and is getting me through a pretty tough time in my life rn. I recommend ALL of his music! Even his very first album, and the stuff at the start of his YouTube channel.

There's even people trying to compile his "lost media" on SoundCloud. Old and unreleased music he never put on YouTube. It's a fun thing to look into if you feel up to it!

[summertimesadnessirl]

Nah. I don't think anyone will care when I die. I want to die because the same dumb shit keeps happening. Everyone else gets to have a stable life and build themselves out of poverty and all that. I wind up back at rock bottom every few years. I keep having to restart the way most people only do maybe once in their lives. I don't want to build myself a life again and have someone destroy it.

And the last time someone did it, they did it on purpose. The did it in an insane way no one would ever belive. A way I could not have prepared for. Then they gloated. Then they tried to claim I need to be "humbled." For finally believing I was allowed to have what everyone else is born into or allowed to build once and and I built 6 times. For not wanting to be poor my whole life. Then they gloated, told me I was crazy, then told me I need to be pushed to go after what I really want. What I want is revenge on a global scale. Like what I really want is for everyone who ever did this to anyone to literally instantly confess to all their crimes and die. Then I still want to die. I don't have a backup dream. I built the life I wanted. A life that also worked for the type of person I am and the type of lifestyle I can actually live- some fun. Some regular treats. Some things other people don't need that made things easier for me and compensated for a lot of my flaws and weaknesses. Some other things I did because I liked the people I did them with or for. I lost it. I don't want a backup life. I want to die. I am not getting tricked into building another life.

The truth is, there is no way that I could ever defend against what happened happening again every time my life makes me happy and works for me forever. So I am going to just allow the people attacking me... yeah. They are still attacking me... to kill me.

I know there's no explanation for why they are doing it other than sadism. They have made no demands other than many conflicting things that only seem to be whatever would be something someone else would want but would make me equally miserable as I am now even though it sounds like a reasonable demand if you don't know me...

Imagine if you were idk... diabetic and someone said they would stop bullying you if you ate a dozen cookies. And if anyone else did that, it would be a prank. Or if you have red wine triggered migraines and they say if you drink a glass of wine with dinner every day they'll stop. But you have to do it forever.

So I'm gonna let this destroy me completely and then kill me. I will not accept any other outcome. There is nothing I could be bribed with or convinced to take as a consolation prize.

I don't care anymore. 🤷 nothing will ever make me want to live now that this happened.

I know when it kills me, there's a billion to one shot that anyone believes I'm being gangstalked by a bunch of?? It doesn't matter. Everyone is going to assume I'm having a 4 year long psychotic break with the same delusions over and over and trying to f figure out or rationalize what's going on. If it wasn't happening to me, I would, too. None of the proof sounds real, all of it sounds like the crap you would hear in a shitty paranormal case, or a ufo investigation. Rokos basilisk. Indrid Cold is doing Havana Syndrome on me. The creature from Nope. Someone made a fake episode of last podcast on the left and added a bunch of additional information on Ester Cox. Bro idk. Dinky Earnshaw and Light Yagami are sending the world's slowest Tigers to constantly meow at me for 4 years. I don't give a shit, dude. It's happening. Good cops don't exist. No one is gonna solve the case. Even if some dead whore turns up, nobody will care but my imaginary boyfriend from when I was 15. I started imagining talking to him again because like? Whatever. Everyone thinks I'm nuts. Talking to a fake guy you made up as a thought exercise is actually normal. Lots of people do that. I know it's just a little game. I just stopped because I had friends. Highly unlikely that's going to solve my murder. So I literally do not know who is doing this. So I literally can't stop them or look for proof. They are never going to get into trouble either way. So instead, I'm gonna endure it til it kills me. Either they'll kill enough people that eventually someone will notice or they don't. But I don't wanna live anymore. Even if they quit right now and someone showed up at my door with like, a uhaul filled with 20 billion dollars and a litter of kittens, or full communism was declared, I will still want to die. So if they have to murder someone, it might as well be me.

[flonxbug]

overall doing pretty fine, just needing to vent to unclog my thoughts n all

I have no idea how to tell if I'm being a 'good' person or 'bad' person and i know that's not black and white but i worry a lot about if I'm going around making peoples lives worse

like i see people complaining about A Type Of Guy and i worry a lot cause i have no idea how to know if I'm being that Type Of Guy or not cause outside interpretations of actions seem way different from how anyone would actively choose to act

like, i know I'm annoying sometimes, i talk too much, i put my foot in my mouth, i overshare, i the up being too familiar, i try to 'help' then find it's not welcome, i say dumb shit and instantly regret it, I'm not good at reading people or what they want or need, etc etc...

like for sure I'm annoying and often unpleasant to be around... I'm gonna keep working on it but it doesn't seem likely to change very much aside from like... forcing myself to shut up generally which isn't super helpful to anyone ... I'm just not good at determining beforehand when the things I'm gonna say are gonna be welcome...

idk i guess my main priority has just gotta continue being like, trying to be good to people?? finding new ways to reach out and be generous, not judging what other people are going through or what they do, assuming best intentions etc

still having to learn to get better at guessing and trying to read what peoples responses mean and tailor my interactions with what people need and want from me...

and like, trusting people to decide for themselves how much they wanna interact with me?? like, hoping that if someone wants to distance themself then they will even if I'm reaching out trying to make new connections and checking in... trust that people mean what they say when they reach out and return friendship to me

...

I'm not sure what kind of value i have to offer people in my life... but i just wanna be a person that makes people happier, more comfortable, more able to express themselves and be who they want to be... someone who can give love and support and acceptance... And not sure how much of an impact I'm capable of but doing what i can to make the world a better more welcoming place for everyone

and yeah i am also lonely and want want connections and friendship and community... i want people i can reach out to and have fun with and who can help me learn and grow, i even want to find people who admire me, who love me, who want intimacy with me...

but i think that's okay?? it's selfish but like, normal i think... and like, i think it's okay as long as i don't try to push that on people who don't wanna be there, and don't get mad at or devalue other people if that's not what they want

i know i wouldn't think overly badly of someone else who was feeling this way and doing what I'm doing so i dunno... just gotta keep doing my thing i guess

[cepheusgalaxy]

Thank you:)

I'm at the weird thing where like I don't dislike the sound of sex but it doesn't exactly appeal to me either but I do feel like it could maybe be fun? Like I know it's supposed to be 18+ but I have read some smuts cause ad silly as it sounds I wanted to know what was going on (that sounds so stupid). Like I knew what sex is obviously we did that in school (however they never actually mentioned anything about people not wanting sex or about different sexual orientations either which is already dumb enough and I'm a lesbian so it was kinda just a really awkward discussion of "when a man and a woman love each other they have sex" and even at the time 12/13 year old me went well that's silly what if u don't want to have sex, I was also already out as a lesbian at that point so I was like this means nothing to me🤣) but like I still somehow knew how sex worked for different secualities and what not(not entirely sure how cause I never googled it or was taught it but I just knew somehow? Probably TV idk) but it was more of like a How's it in a casual sense instead of like over dramatic movies having these grand affairs or schools awful SRE lessons.

Anyway that was a long way of saying I read it and it sounded alright:/ like the whole feeling good idea sounds nice but like not that big of a deal, I'd probably rather have a back message or something.

But like I don't think id be against it either or for all I know I'd somewhat enjoy it. But either way I wouldn't wanna just hook up with people you know? To me that just sounds weird,like "hi I know I just met u but wanna have sex?"I personally don't get that (no offence to anyone who does hookup obviously, if that ur style go u!) So how would I even know whether I would like sex? Wait till I'm far into a good relationship have it then go sorry that was weird dunno about doing that again? I don't like the sound of that,it would be awkward and I wouldn't wanna ruin a decent relationship. But then again I could just be a top and not have to do anything myself and just give my potential future gf a nice time? But then again judging by smut and the too much information people at college day that I don't particularly want ro hear,there's a lot more than just fingerings, and like oral that sounds yucky. Like idk but I don't think that would taste nice, so again even if I'm not anywhere on the spectrum (although the more I think about it the more I think I might be but idk) I wouldn't wanna do that.

And im really sorry if this is like wat too much information but it just confuses me and there's no one I really can talk to about it. I know it's just a label and doesn't define me or anything but I feel like it would be nice to be able to easily explain it ams that if I ever did get into a decent relationship I would be able to go into it knowing this and they wouldn't expect anything from me I wouldn't be wiling to do.

The other thing is I unfortunately feel like I don't know enough about the situation, I didn't even question it until probably the last year or so, I always assumed no one else felt sexual attraction at this age (as I said idk if I wouldn't necessarily mind certain parts of sex, occasionally it feels like it could be appealing but not really but I've also never looked at anyone and gone damn I'd like to have sex with them) but yeah I never really thought to look into it all that much and now that I have I still feel like I know nothing at all, Google had the worst explaintions and they always contradict each other. But it thought maybe someone online as a part of the spectrum themselves who seems to have a far better understanding of it than I do could help. And again thank you so much and I'm really sorry how long and awkward this ask is (feel very weird saying all this)

Oh I'm glad to be of help. Getting to your other ask in a bit btw!

[abcdosaka]

had a pretty hard time at work last week. got my period + i got chewed out by that one guy again (probably the fourth or fifth time by now) bc i didn’t communicate something well. the deadline is next week, which i didn't know about, and he wanted to have this completed last week and now its pushed to monday probably. it was my fault and i’ll admit that. but the truth is i just fucking hate talking to him. if he wasn't so completely intolerable to talk to i wouldn't mind it as much but holy shit. what a seriously hateable guy. i was watching a video earlier today and i got a little annoyed because the person in the video had similar features to the guy.

he always talks over me and doesn't let me finish my thought or question. he does this to everyone it seems worst with the women in the office

he definitely thinks i'm stupid. whenever i ask him a question he's like ok clearly i need to dumb this down for you (not exact phrasing of course but that's basically what he's saying). like no wonder i don't fucking like asking him questions

i feel like he regrets choosing to hire me. i know they wanted to hire someone a bit more experienced and i'm not like i just graduated. but to be quite honest in my interview i fucked up bad like i could barely answer the technical questions but i did express a desire to learn. so idk i feel like that's not really on me

our personalities just don't match at all. honestly i used to try hard to be laidback and able to handle anyone but it just kinda made me a pushover. when i assert myself with this guy he just gets mad. this always happens like every single time i try to assert myself bc i'll admit it, i'm a shy chick, i'm on fucking tumblr so no shit, but i hate hate hate the feeling of being steamrolled over.

his management style/expectations just make very little sense to me. like he's always pointing out stuff i should've done when i'm showing him results. or stuff that i didn't even think was my responsibility. he's kinda all over the place when giving me instructions, he's always skipping steps and then making me feel stupid for not being able to keep up. it gives me such imposter syndrome

all of this combined with the fact that he's super smart makes him pretty intimidating. and the fact that i have to mainly work with him bc he's the only other (specialized in my specific field at the office) is seriously like.... tough shit for me.

i'm not the first person to feel this way. two of the other junior employees said they really didn't like working with him. one of them even said she straight up couldn't deal with him bc he was so mean. she also said that the company is def aware of this but they're not great at responding to it.

the pm i'm doing one project with (which he was kinda supervising) was like yeah he's super intimidating and honestly not a fun guy to work with but he's a hard worker and will work to get stuff done. that's great that he's like the backbone of the company or whatever but that actually makes me a bit more mad. it's like when the patriarch of a family is trash but you can't say anything bc "oh he's holding it together he's the breadwinner". it just feels like it's being held over my head a bit. we couldn't have someone nicer in this position?

worst part is i can't just say he's a shit boss bc he's not wrong. like i said (his favourite words btw), he's chewed me out a lot over my communication skills and i get that i need to improve that but he just really gives me anxiety. plus he's told me good work over some stuff a couple times. (always with a caveat of course lmao). and i haven't been as fast as i know i could be bc i try to figure shit out by myself since i hate asking him questions, end up spinning my wheels and having to ask him anyway, and then he tells me i should be faster. which yes i totally could be if you weren't a piece of shit!

like people don't do things for no reason especially not me. maybe dumb reasons yes but not no reason. and i know what kinda things motivate me to actually thrive in a workplace. that is to say, i vibe with the carrot, i don't with the stick. i dunno i'm normally not super affected by it bc i really don't give a shit if he hates me on a personal level unless it affects my job but (this was on thursday evening when work was ending) prob bc of my period it really got to me this time and i cried on the way home and i was on/off crying yesterday. my eyes were soo puffy it was bad.

idk how long i'll last here. i really do kinda like working here (well i like 3 people and the rest i could take or leave) but i basically uprooted my life to be here. not that i'm mad about that bc i had very few friends back home and living at home was genuinely getting intolerable but it was a big decision. i don't want this to be a sunk cost scenario. but yesterday i was genuinely thinking like is this worth the stress? should i stay here for at least 4 years like i planned or stick it out for a year and get tf out?

i'm gonna try to be stronger and have more confidence bc i don't think he's the most unreasonable person ever. maybe i'll be petty and overcommunicate way too much and like tell him what i'm eating for lunch and shit bc at least it's fighting back somehow instead of being scared. (i'm not actually gonna do that. wish i could) but i'm not sticking around for much longer if things don't change. i just have no idea what to say or how to point it out esp if it's already a known issue. i do sorta feel supported by a couple ppl but...that has never been me, i've never felt strong enough to confront men like that. i guess if i do end up trying to leave, key word trying, i need to be really discerning during interviews. at least i have some leverage since i actually have a job now. as long as i don't lose it.

i was probably really upset bc this has been building up inside me for a while and my anxiety has taken over a lot thanks to him but i don't think its the worst situation to be in considering i'm new and i've only been in the office for like a month now. i just hate that i feel so associated with not meeting deadlines.

i also think i was kinda upset bc this dude is a lot like if my dad wasn't my dad but my boss. my dad is an alright father but if he wasn't personally related to me i wouldn't like him. getting yelled at by my dad was always terrifying for me as a kid so when my pm takes on that annoyed loud speaking tone all the fight in me just dies its embarassing. they're both really critical. neither of them can take a joke especially from a woman. plus they both smell bad like i forgot to mention this but holy moly they smell the exact same and it is MUSTY. oh and they're both asian. different parts of asia but whatever.

anyways like i know i can handle this i literally worked for that bitch karen in highschool and i was even less confident back then. plus i know i'm not stupid i graduated with a degree in this field and did 6 internships.

[kentrix11]

Oh yeah I checked out a bit of the gameplay bits people posted about Girls Frontline 2 last year, I had a lot of thoughts written out but I never posted them.

I will do it here to see how much of it ends up being on point once the game comes out.

First some bullet points about what's in there though:

It seems they are doing that thing I have kinda been thinking about of changing the hit chance of Xcom and exchanging it by raw damage thus making cover about defense rather than evasion. This is good because it keeps the tactical depth of having to analize terrain and flank/bait enemies. While eliminating the annoying "95% hit chance miss". THERE'S GRENADES TO DESTROY TERRAIN AND COVER WE ARE SO BACK (only enemies so far though? They are an important tool to manipulate enemies so hope some low rarity units have them too) They also streamlined some stuff to make it more easy to digest visually Now deciding where to move shows you lines that tell you which enemies you can attack which is nice QoL They did the thing I though of about having holograms plan out the moves then have the characters do them, for the sake of making it all seems like a moment of action rather than the character running then staying in place, I like it, it makes it look a bit more diegetic. It doesn't seem like individual actions are a thing. The enemies at least in the first maps seem to be really dumb, they just attack without any regard for cover. They also don't try to actually flank you. Damage is a lot lower across the board but due to the balancing of cover letting you take less damage that makes more sense. There's a shield mechanic that reduces damage, the shield can be broken with enough damage, there's a value that reduces if you take hits Taking hits without cover or while flanked makes them hit harder of course and eat more shield. If you get flanked while still having some shield you can still survive a little. Healers seem to be able to not only heal hp but also give a shield that seems really strong. There's status effects. Full cover + shield seems to reduce damage to 1 point per shot pretty much no damage. There seems to be like shield elements and stuff I'm not too sure about, having colors to determine damage is a pretty gacha core thing IDK how well it might go on Xcom and generally I like design based on functions rather than colors. It seems that the colors are for types of ammo that might do more or less damage against shields or specific enemies That might be interesting. HP seems to be in the thousands o hundreds early on I doubt perma death is a thing too so it makes sense (Maaaybe they will add a game mode that's multiple maps in a row where you can't use units that died in a previous map, that could be fun) The melee units seem to do a ton of damage to compensate for the risky factor of having to go to the enemy to attack Also to offset how in Xcom 2 they can ignore cover and hit for sure but since there's no chance here they give them more damage They still ignore cover though since damage isn't reduced Depending on how melee units are categorized in the colour system I think they might be pretty strong early on

General thoughts are:

A lot of the changes are really thoughtful things that you would only get by truly understanding what aspects of Xcom's game design make it an engaging game while also understanding it's shortcomings and more frustrating points to try and address them in intelligent ways.

I wonder if this will hit if only the maps are Xcom like but the rest has an entirely different gameplay loop, I feel like the loop of building your base and units is important to this kinda game too.

The Gacha factor is a very big worry because Gacha and the inherent power creep it needs to be open to, can mean a number of things will be awkardly tuned difficulty wise, so getting that really nice feeling of going through tough maps in a satisfying way might be harder to achive. Also depending on how many categories they made for units, rolling for characters and weapons could get really annoying.

Still, it's looking good, it's funny how the metal gear looking mech is mechanically an Xcom 2 sectopod.