#(IDK IT JUST GIVES A LOT OF DUMB FUN THOUGHTS BUT YEAH THEY SEEM WAY COMPLICATED TO TRY AND THERE'D BE SO MANY ROUTES)

[glossypolaroidkisses]

hi my love!! im excited to see what ur blog will contain hehe omg im so ecstatic that u commented that ur interested in the whole right brained reader thing hehe i js want to know ur thoughts on the relationship dynamic of having a more humanitarian reader who likes english, arts everything that's quite opposite to what luigi is like!!

hihi!! omg I’m SO excited too!! i already feel so welcomed!! ok this is so fun, buckle in!! bear with me!!

since luigi seems to be so analytical and anal with his thought processes (like you mentioned), i can see him pre-relationship being a bit skeptical while getting to know you; just because that’s not how his brain works. at the start he’d ask you so many questions. you’d have so many conversations that would give him better insight into your mind, to make sure you’re not just in la la land all the time. it’s giving, waiting for 3rd or 4th date to talk politics?… no. 1st date we’re talking about thoughts on religion, the afterlife, etc.

also, that’s not an insult to right brained/artistic ppl, I’m one of them (if you couldn’t tell lol)! i’ve been perceived as dumb(er than others) because I’m so driven by creativity, english and the arts (NOT scientific or mathematical at all). It's only once someone gets to know me better, that they learn how intelligent I am. right brain thinkers are more likely to be dismissed or overlooked, imo!

someone like luigi may not have been too surrounded by many right brain thinkers let alone dated them, and he would be so curious about what goes on in your mind.

obviously, you do develop a relationship and the dynamic would be adorable. you balance each other out! there may be some minor situations and misunderstandings where his strict, logical, rational self isn’t sure where you’re coming from; but he always listens to you explain your POV, and does come around to understand it. he’s very open minded, esp when it comes to you!

he loves your brain. i mean, he’s so fascinated by it. you find art, beauty, creativity and meaning in things that he could’ve never perceived in such a way. both of your brains work in different ways that are both so important.

whether you come to him about a situation all pouty, or do the opposite, acting stubborn and silent about it until he picks up on your mood shift, coming over to help you.. he’ll have a solution. he’d drop anything to brainstorm a way to help you solve your problems. for luigi, because of his logical problem solving, the solution is usually simple for him to come up with. but then you’re standing there with stars in your eyes like ‘wow luigi😍❤️ i would’ve never come up with that🤩 thank you so much😩’ and he’s just there, giddy, bc you make him feel so smart and useful. he’s so happy when he can help you in any way.

there will probably be a lot of funny moments trying to make decisions together. you might want to decide based on gut feeling, or your emotions, but he’ll be so analytical; thinking of every detail. for example, buying furniture together. you might be like “omg! this couch is such a cute colour, matches the vibe of our apartment and it feels so soft!” and luigi would be like “uhm… yeah! cute! but… (pulls out tape measure) it isn’t the correct dimensions, the fabric isn’t stain resistant, the cushion covers aren’t removable, and it isn’t well reviewed online….😅🥸”

if he’s not with you, he’ll take photos of things he sees while out-and-about, maybe exploring, and send them to you. or!!! when he comes home, he’ll be all excited to show you stuff he took pictures of, wondering what your perspective on it would be, how you would interpret it. he’ll go through the pictures with you and just listen to you gush over something artsy or interpretive, like if he saw graffiti he thought you’d find cool, a quote from a book or painting at a museum. idk!

if he goes book shopping for his own yk NON fiction books, he’ll always come back with a book or two for you. he’ll get home, probably make some sort of joke like “i just chose the book that had the most colourful cover”, when in reality he spent time at the bookstore looking through the books, reading so many back covers to choose one that he knows you’ll genuinely enjoy. or, he’ll just buy a book he remembers you mentioning you wanted in passing. even if he wouldn’t enjoy reading it, he enjoys knowing it brings you joy. and if you talk to him about a book you’re reading/read, he’ll listen as if it’s his favourite genre.

me personally, idk if it’s the eldest daughter in me, but i LOVE being taken care of + i think he’d enjoy feeling helpful. like if i was drawing on an app on my ipad and it crashed or something, i’d go running to him for help.. with anything technology related (even if i had an idea of how i could fix it myself) like heyyy my lil compsci problem solver.. help pls😇

overall, i think this dynamic is so sweet as long as you can both embrace each others differences and find that harmony. he would add more structure to your life while appreciating your perspective, and you’d add more spontaneity, empathy & creativity to his!

also idk if i touched enough on this, but this dynamic is literally a humanitarian power couple. like fighting for what’s right, with his brain and your heart!! best of both worlds for a well rounded perspective!! mwhahaha

thank you so much for submitting that! oh my god that was so much fun I’m not insane i promise (maybe a lil hehehe) it is literally 7 am i am going to sleep now. i just started responding to that ask and couldn’t stop. aaa love it!!

i hope you liked it!! don’t be afraid to give feedback, anyone! i loooovee requests like these!! keep em coming!! mwah

[rantsofabookworm]

tadc e5 spoilers below

i have Many Thoughts.

so I've seen a lot of people talking about jax and ragatha ofc. bunnydoll shippers yeah but also a surprising number of theories that they're siblings.

if im gonna be completely honest I can see the sibling dynamic angle there but I don't think thats the case here??

that being said they definitely have some kind of relationship thats different than with the other characters. it seems like they know each other more closely than anyone else--theres a level of casualty in their interactions and in their reactions to what the other person says to the rest of the group sometimes.

like for example the bar scene when ragatha is talking about her mom and jax looks away. im sure that means something. he knows something else about that info that ragatha isn't sharing with the rest of the group. and then again when ragatha brings up jaxs friend (dont worry ill talk about them in a minute) and apologizes for it later? theres history there obviously but also. they know how to hurt each other in a way that I don't think they can with anyone else in the show. jax gives everyone shit but its always like. generic. its not personal in the way that ragathas jab at him in the fireflies scene was. and before that when he's talking to pomni about her. he's saying real things about ragatha (and then catches himself and finishes with lol she's Dumb and she Looks Weird haha) and

idk it just seems a lot more personal between them than other characters but its Way too antagonistic to be a ship imo. so I have constructed a working theory that they are exes. they used to date and theyre still kind of trying to be friends? just because. theres only like six people to talk to in the circus and whatever. so theyre semi amicable out of necessity but theres still that conflict there, beneath all the layers of bullshit jax and ragatha keep putting on over their real selves. they hate each other. but theyre also the only ones who really know each other.

ANYWAY

lets talk about ribbit :)

obviously they were jaxs friend. maybe his only friend? and they abstracted. what actually happened there isn't clear but I think it was jaxs fault based on his reactions when ribbit is mentioned or that part where their door is shown in the intermission.

so there are some interesting layers to that theory.

now if jax caused ribbit to abstract (like kinger potentially caused queenie to abstract? which is why he doesn't remember it cause he blocked it out) he's probably really guilty about it. maybe not consciously but every time ribbit comes up he gets quiet.

maybe he knows it was his fault. and he feels guilty and all that. or maybe that only exists in his subconscious--maybe he believes that he didn't do anything, and he acts out and. is a dick. to suppress the part of his brain that feels guilty. Either way this has the grounds for a complete breakdown if he's pushed in just the right way.

now it gets a bit interesting. maybe jax got close with ribbit after breaking up with ragatha? maybe they were friends before, but after that breakup ribbit became jaxs Only friend.

or the more fun (not fun for jax) option: Ragatha Blames Jax. after ribbit abstracted, ragatha confronted him and broke up with him because of what he did/said to ribbit.

lets pivot a little bit!

people seem to think ragatha is heading in the direction of abstracting next. there are mixed feelings about this perceived outcome in the show, but I think theyre right.

ragatha has been slowly breaking down over the course of the show as her optimistic facade is getting dismissed more and more. this episode, we got to see her leave it behind a little bit, in her jabs at jax but also opening up at the bar a little bit and opening up to pomni in the dugout. pomni encourages her to drop the facade more and show her negative side.

at the end of the episode ragatha is alone. this is where she sees the effects of her optimism and fake cheer and how theyre driving everyone away. whether this drives her to finally ditch the optimism and express her real personality or whether she doubles down on it to try and get people back on her side is still up in the air but either way I think we're heading for a total ragatha breakdown in the next episode or two. she's been suppressing herself for so long that I think any expression of negative emotion atp is going to explode in everyone's face like it did with jax and pomni in the dugout, only on a larger scale. and when that outburst happens, it could be just enough to tip her over into abstraction. and on the flip side, if she doubles down and keeps herself suppressed and people-pleasing to win the group over? that wont hold forever. and when she finally cracks, she'll crack hard.

now the actual abstracting itself? I think it'll be everyone's fault. they all have a hand in abandoning her, undervaluing her, dismissing her. but the thing to really push her over is going to be jax. we all know it'll be jax. they've been highlighting a jax vs ragatha conflict since the very first episode and we've seen time and time again that they are better than anyone at getting under each other's skin.

so ragatha will explode at everyone. and jax says or does something that Just pushes her over the line, and thats it. she's gone. she abstracts.

so yeah the next couple episodes should be fun :)

[kalisseo]

Joanfk?

I know who you are im gonna get you.

anyway, SIGHHHH joanfk there's a lot to unpack here.

okay so I want to start with I was a joanfk shipper when i first watched s1. yeah.

well i wasn't an avid fan like with tophabe it was more like Oh yeah they're cute! I liked the scene of jfk telling Joan he liked her for who she was

but eh that's like, bare minimum for a relationship

I think they have something fun to offer, jock x goth, popular x unpopular

buttttt S2 ruined them, sorry I don't know how the common opinion was that they were the only good thing like NO they were the WORST thing or one of the worst

also s2 made me hateee jfk I kinda get to like him more in s3 but joanfk in s3 doesn't exist so yeah

anyway, overall i just think that they just, idk they simply don't work, Joan craves more deep connection (in my opinion) and well yeahhh jfk loves her i guess, but he's dumb, and he doesn't care about deep things or whatever, and he doesn't seem to be like, actually supportive in her interests well they just, kiss and have sex and that's it that's the chemistry

alsoo joan wasn't the best either, she wanted jfk to change and seemed to like him way more in spring break when he was smart 😭😭😭 she was desperate to keep him like that, and well she even said it she was just attracted to him she didn't say she was in love in sexy ed

imo she just got with him because she wanted to forget abe, but there wasn't much in common other than they thought the other one was hot too, and jfk eh he gets with any girl

and they're not exactly what I like in a ship not even in s1 so personally that makes me like them less

and they're not even fun to watch imo, they're boring and even uncomfortable sometimes (yes i know clone high had sex jokes since s1 i just think joanfk made them more frequent)

they could've been great, or at least okay i think if they worked on giving them actual chemistry

and even though joan wanted to change him once or whatever she seemed like happy idk how to say it i mean they do seem to be in love I guess in a way which makes it more annoying to me like joan get out please

anyway that's all whatever i like to explore joanfk as worst couple ever tbh but not as actually romantic or cute, I do still find some fan arts cute, I think some people's interpretation on it are way better than the show but this is show wise

so yeah they had an opportunity i guess, but they're horrible to me and i hate them

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Hiii so like,

In search of some really old mephiles stuff from years and years ago for fun, I found this really old Mephiles fan website called "The Mephiles Domain" which started in 2007 and which hasn't been updated since 2012. So, it was active for at least 5 years?

There was a youtube channel linked to it so I checked that out to see some really old videos and I noticed your name there and I swear I saw it some where before and yeah, you left a note on my Mephiles back posture theory a while back which is cool.

So, im just here wondering if you know anything about this website. It seems long abandoned now, i assume it was used as like a forum board or something. It seems like a lot of stuff here has been lost over time or deleted.

I also find the layout very pretty with all the colours and it gives off that early internet vibe.

It feels like a discovered a gem finding this but it also feels like I missed out on something lmao.

Oh and, in search of any other older mephiles related websites i found this really simple one with not much on it but i'll take anything I can find. I noticed your name again.

I read the theory and I think its interesting. But I think Mephiles is just at multiple places at once and is aware of that. Omnipotent god type thing idk.

But yeah, it was really cool finding all this stuff!!! :D

Wondering if theres anything else i can find.

Oh man, what a blast to the past, that was well over a decade and a half ago. I think we just sort of dissolved after a good strong half a decade of activity, and the site itself went defunct after we all just ran out of content to make. This was long before we even got a whiff of Mephiles making a comeback in the last few years, so it just naturally fizzled out. 😅😅😅

It was mostly just a forum where we would share headcanons, speculations, observations, fanfiction and picture edits that all centered around Mephiles, hoping to show that the character had enough of a fanbase that maybe Sega would consider giving him an encore with a better role, since back then, ALL we had was Sonic 06, a tease in the Archie comics, and hopeful thinking that the Time Eater was actually a form of Mephiles ((that was also one of my theories that I posted a little before Ian Flynn made a similar thought, so safe to say that recent developments of having Mephiles injected into the modern Generations canon fulfilled that idea for us...))

It was just a fan site that centered around Mephiles in particular, with a niche circle of fans that saw potential in the character as something other than a one-off villain. Sometimes there's was someone uploading thier texture mods for the games to replace Shadow with Mephiles, and sometimes it was someone making a figure mod. Sometimes we put a funny caption on a screenshot, or have a video contest.

One of the relics that still remains is this one entry I made for an AMV contest on the site, which ended up winning, because I decided instead of going for a full song with a serious attempt, I decided to go the AMV Hell route and make it a compilation of dumb vignettes that were meant to be funny. Aaaaahhh, good times. 😆

But yeah, it was mostly a fan forum site that was similar to The Sonic Factory ((which seems to be defunct now too)), but specifically about Mephiles as the main focus, with occasional news about other Sonic related subjects. I was also part of the admins for both sites, too, at some point.

I also still managed to salvage a few of my site icons and signatures from both TMD and TSF way back then, so there's also these:

[pinchinschlimbah]

Thank you again for the message, and the references, the "Melty-chan" info (I thought it was just another overpriced ugly toy he was trying to sell, my bad!)

I admit, I didn't check on Kyo's other bands or any recent interviews. Just social media (with google translate) and live / PV. So yeah, my general opinion is 20 years old (shame on me!) like : "arrogant and full of himself and seeking out mindlessly devoted followers" it's definitely from 20 years ago and that toxic person I used to hang out with. They were my "Kyo channel" since I was "to dumb" to understand "his incredible talent" and "too obtuse to even grasp an atom of the sheer and fathomless poetry of his lyrics he was kind enough to throw to us, mere mortals." (It was not said in english, this is translation, but you get the idea) And you know? they were right. He was just another screaming, jumping, vomiting and self cutting edgy singer for me :/ I was just waiting for him to go full GG Allin and take a dump on stage.

I've talked with someone about him a few month ago and they had the feeling he's on the spectrum too, this would explain the clumsiness in M&G and the difference of attitude on stage and out of stage. Because a lot of autistic people are mistaken for asshole while they're just not socially adapted. Considering his age, if this hypothesis is true, he might be exhausted of "masking" or diagnosed... But, no idea about japanese feeling toward atypical persons. So this remains pure speculation.

About the infamous dango episode, I didn't managed to form an opinion. It was funny if he was doing it for fun, cringe if he was drunk or high and absolutely embarassing if he was just not giving 2 fucks. I felt bad for the director of the movie. But since he did the promo tour in other cities I finally came to the conclusion it was either a meltdown or a strange way to be funny and nothing malicious. Ok, I'm going to burry the hatchet and cut the guy some slack (for now…, still have my eyes on him, just in case). And for the sake of my feeble sanity because I have spend too much time (yours and mine) projecting IDK what on a dude I will never meet. LOL!

Talking in private crossed my mind, but maybe someone else is interesting in the topic and might want to join the talk. Use another account and I'll make one too and we'll talk shit 'til we drop dead.

No problem! I'm glad I was able to help you find some peace, and I definitely recommend looking into Kyo's more recent work and interviews because it's clear he's in a much better place now. Sukekiyo is a pretty solidly queer/femme-centered project and it seems having that new space to explore those sides of himself where there are less eyes on him has been really good for him and then has had those sensibilities reflected back into Dir en Grey once he became more comfortable with them. He's even spoken recently about that dark ages era, that he wishes he could give his past self a hug for being so angry at the world and handling it in such a damaging way and that "despite coming close to accepting his past self, he still feels like it committed something against his present self." Sounds like the people you used to hang out with were indeed toxic assholes, I'm glad you got away from them! I personally don't feel comfortable making commentary on whether Kyo might be neurodivergent or not since I myself am (probably) not autistic, but its an interesting theory and it's possible that that's the case! However, I also think it's a lot more common than people realize for performers to be completely different on and off stage...no one can be at 100% power like that all of the time and are often expressing something through their art that they don't feel capable of expressing in normal conversational words, so that larger than life performance persona can only come out during those times and in fact many iconic performers are quite shy and reserved and awkward off stage. In the same Metal Hammer interview I posted screenshots of in my previous post, Kyo says this

It's my understanding that this is still the case, since Kyo said in an interview about Sukekiyo that he specifically picked members who also weren't into drinking or drugs (can't currently find where I saw this one I'm sorry), and fairly recent Shinya channel videos and interviews with other members have indicated that Kyo does not join the rest of the band when they drink backstage or go out after their shows.

I truly do think the dango incident was just him being stupid and silly, if you watch the video you can tell the other members were also entertained and actively humoring it so I wouldn't worry too much about what was going on there!

[carnallyricky]

Sending selfies in the hopes he'll touch himself to them, or the idea of me >>>

Reblogging sub posts knowing full well if I had my way I'd fuck him so hard he'd be seeing stars

I love my car fantasies, some of my faves include the classic fucking him in the back seat, but some honorable mentions are him being my passenger prince and fingering him in the passenger seat and eating him out while he lays on the hood, preferably after we drove out to look at the stars or something dumb and romantic, it's MY fantasy shut up

Camping. Yes it's a real hobby of mine. So is thinking about fucking him the whole time. In the tent, out in the woods, by the campfire, by the river. Excuse me for being a slut

I never talk about this one, but boat. We're making it rock and I don't CARE who walks by

SO torn between forcing him to be so loud we're definitely heard, or keeping his sounds all to myself. Im selfish, I want them, but I also like the idea of showing off. Sue me

There have been times I've kept a slutty dress or outfit in my closet. Not because I can wear those things, but because I like to imagine wearing them for him. Private fashion show

Obviously, we know I like leashes and collars, I like to be owned, whatever. Insane about the idea of him yanking my leash while I fuck him

So many affirmations and praises ready to fall off my tongue as soon as I have him under me because he's the most gorgeous boy I've ever seen and he's so, so good

He's fucking bratty. He is, and it drives me crazy. He doesn't even do it on purpose, that's just how he is and it makes me want to jump him.

He will be marked, badly. So many marks. Neck is good, obviously, but inner thighs, hips, belly. Let me sink my teeth into you and latch on. Want to leave just enough of a bruise that he can press on it and be reminded of how I ruin him

Loooove the idea of him tied up. Arms and legs to the bed posts so he cant squirm away, just left at my mercy

A lot of the time he's talking and I can barely pay attention to the conversation because my head is so clouded with thoughts of kissing him senseless until we're just making out and moaning into each other's mouths

Not nearly as freaky but if we're walking together, you better believe my hand is going in his back pants pockets. Not sure why I like that one so much, but I do

Really like the IDEA of public stuff, hate the reality of the execution, but as a FANTASY I'm fingering him under restaurant tables, in changing rooms, in bathroom stalls, my car again but parked in some parking lot or someplace out in the open like that, a picnic at the park, like idk dude anywhere

Unironically edging is good. Soooo fun to think about driving him crazy by edging him, hate to see him cry but love the idea of it being from denial so I can kiss his tears away and finally give him relief

Begging. God, begging. I will fold so fast

I know I've mentioned anal before. Kind of fuck with the idea of putting on a show for him, if he wanted me to. Mutual masterbation, just the idea of him watching me, or me watching him is good too but id lose my composure too quickly

Not my reality right now but audios. I would send audios of me moaning his name ANY time of day, that would be so fun. HAVE moaned his name, whatever, im just saying shit I guess, very moanable name. Definitely want him to moan MY name, as silly as mine seems. I could hardly dream to recieve audios from him but I would probably die if I could

I said don't send me your porn, I didn't want it, I lied. Send me the shit you like and ask me to recreate it with you, the answer is yes. Yes yes yes yes yes I don't CARE what it is, I'll eat donuts out of your ass I don't CARE

Touching in the work bathroom. Yeah. Good fantasy, that one. Getting him so worked up he has to go to the restroom and take care of it. BIG bonus if he's actively texting me

Just thinking about making him horny and wanting ME makes my head so fogged I can't think straight at all, he can work me up so easily it's not even funny

Ok it's getting weird here, oviposition. Yeah. Just seems like it would feel good, idk. I have no real fantasy for this i think I would just try it. Hand on my stomach is hot. HIM trying it is very hot but only if he'd be down idk

Yeah ok this is obvious but the breeding kink is real, definitely need a squirting strap, with a KNOT, yeah. So much it leaks back out. Yeah

OH spit, I like spit. Sometimes I want to spit in his mouth, sometimes I want it the other way around. Idk. I can't explain the things i like I just know I like them

This is getting long. Anyways

Scissoring, sorry it's a classic.

Tit fucking, either way around doesn't matter to me

SIT on my face im not even playing around right now

I like the inappropriate polaroid in my wallet idea. I like it a lot

Suspension. I never talk about this, being suspended in air and being fucked. Either way around, super good

Kind of want him to ride but with the intention of him getting tired so I can take over

Going back to mouth stuff. Choking on tongue, so good. Fingers in mouth, so good. Cockwarming him, amazing, 10/10

I cant think of any more but there probably is. Whatever no regrets ✌

[icespyders]

i finished disco elysium today!!! & as someone who plays a lot of choice-based rpgs, the way the game acknowledged the way i played was particularly fun and rewarding (readmore for spoilers)

so obv at the end you're confronted by the cops from harry's precinct and kim can defend you (i assume if he hates you, he does not defend you, but i literally unlocked that Goodest Of The Good Cops achievement at the end of day 1, because i've been trained on bioware games to make every companion in every video game love me), and i got a real kick out of some of the dialogue i got during that finale sequence. particularly: one thing kim said to defend me was that i was unbelievably stubborn and thorough chasing down leads, no matter how vague or unrelated to the actual case they seemed to be, and that's 100% how i play rpgs lmao, i chase down every dumb random sidequest no matter how far it diverts me from the main plot. and in this game, some of my most joyful/interesting/thought-provoking/just plain nice moments were in these random sidequest diversions, so i loved how the game basically gives you a thumbs-up for that. and i was really unsure how to play it with evrart & joyce, who i give information to and why/when, and felt like i fucked up, and the game acknowledged that too, kim had some dialogue like, ok, yeah, maybe it wasn't a smart move, he ran his mouth a bit too much to the wrong people, but it was an ethical move and it maybe helped the whole situation, somehow, slightly. and i did okay in the tribunal sequence so kim noted that too, how i got in between the mercenaries and the union guys and put myself in harm's way and minimized the bloodshed. and! i didn't even realize the game would track my drinking/smoking, but the fact that i stayed sober and only smoked once (to light that graffiti on fire, lol, i did it for ART ONLY) was verbally mentioned by a couple characters and seemingly improved their opinion of me. OH OH and i was a very Sorry Cop and characters noted that in particular, kim was like ok yeah he apologizes for everything and it's kind of weird, but still, he's a good guy. and my actual partner is like YEAH YEAH i know you're sorry, you're always sorry, you fucking sad sack. & obviously my insane political views were noted (kim like "i know he's a communist, and also somehow a centrist, idk how he reconciles these things in his mind, but he's a good cop, i promise") (i never got to go back to my communist book club :(((( i read all the literature, i just didn't have time to go back, i ran directly into the plot too fast :(((((((( tragique)

and i was SO EXCITED to meet the phasmid...that was so nice...what a weird and lovely and odd game. it's just very rewarding, because like...i never felt like i was playing Perfectly, yknow? i started the game and was really intrigued by it, but felt a little overwhelmed as my Need To Play Perfectly habit crept in. so i put the game aside for like 9 months, worried i'd never get back to it or finish it, picked it up again 2 weeks ago and felt kinda stuck...and then i got to day 3 and i just cruised through to the end. i played pretty much blind, just looking up a sidequest or two when i was stuck, progression-wise, but i always have this bad habit in rpgs where i want to do things Right and get way too invested deep-diving on wikis trying to orchestrate the most perfect outcomes possible. i tried to kind of free myself of that habit for this game and play looser (though i am grievously guilty of save-scumming ahead of checks and doing dice rolls over and over again, but save-scumming is a sacred art to me, who the fuck doesn't do that in rpgs, if save-scumming is wrong i don't want to be right!!), so i wandered through the game, flailing around and fucking up and failing skill checks, always wondering if i could be Playing Better, but all of that second-guessing is worth it, because in the end i felt really rewarded by this sensation of acknowledgment i got from the game. this feeling that my failures and my successes were noted and catalogued and referenced directly as my companion character sticks up for me at the end. i'm always seeking that in rpgs, that acknowledgment, the sense that my choices mattered and were noted and made both subtle and obvious impacts. and disco elysium has so many variables that i REALLY didn't expect it to be as specific at the finale as it was! like, seriously, i can't get over it, the game scripted shit to acknowledge "you pursued so many fucking sidequests with a maddening and almost obsessive determination, good job," i feel so SEEN. and i got to hold hands with a big bug. what a game

[9800sblog]

I think the reading it was before is fine. You don’t have to change it! I appreciate that you’re willing to change it. it didn’t make me real upset I just feel bad for them cause they got a lot of pressure on them. I know it’s like part of the job but still I just feel empathetic towards theCause even the career can be fun, it’s not always easy and a lot of times very stressful. I’ve loved music and would love to a career but idk if it’s for me cause there’s just too much to risk ya know? Mingi seems so sweet but yea I think people sexualized him, San, Wooyoung, and others a lot. Which they are grown men yes but idk

oh I just wanted to make sure that if my reading made people upset, then, at least I wrote it in a way that ateez would feel comfortable with me sharing, you know? because they like to have good control of their careers and personas, I just wanna make sure that it wouldn't bring trouble.

and yeah, it is pretty sad if you think too much about it, they chose this path when they were kids and didn't know better, they'd probably do it differently if they could, but it's not possible. all that we can do is, with the knowledge we have now, is decide if we like where our future is going and what can we do to change or maintain that?

most times when I read for ateez, specially as a group, the energy is very lighthearted and comfortable, they seem pretty close to each other and really emotionally intelligent. their troubles are very common, with the support they have of close friends and family, they will be fine! it's temporary, it's situational 😁

and, like, it's fine and normal to be attracted to people and have explicit thoughts and conversations about them, but people are too comfortable on the internet saying things that we usually keep private. I've said it before, but I think there's a big difference between east asian fans of kpop and the rest of the world, because it's general knowledge for them that they can pay for events and people to play a part when they're lonely, idols aren't the first people to do that. but, for some reason, foreigners, specially westerners, think that when idols are interacting with them, it's not pretend and they're somehow freeing them from the oh so oppressive asian culture. you can easily find videos online of fans comparing idols in korea vs the usa, for example, and it's so dumb because in both cases, they're just doing their best to get paid.

i think instead of giving up on your passion because you see the troubles, you can learn from them! ateez, specially, are people that you can learn so much from just observing them. ask questions, what can you do differently, with no hurry? how can you slowly introduce music career, in a way that makes your soul happy, into your life? and if you ever meet them, I'm sure they would love to give advices and help, they're good with that.

[flonxbug]

overall doing pretty fine, just needing to vent to unclog my thoughts n all

I have no idea how to tell if I'm being a 'good' person or 'bad' person and i know that's not black and white but i worry a lot about if I'm going around making peoples lives worse

like i see people complaining about A Type Of Guy and i worry a lot cause i have no idea how to know if I'm being that Type Of Guy or not cause outside interpretations of actions seem way different from how anyone would actively choose to act

like, i know I'm annoying sometimes, i talk too much, i put my foot in my mouth, i overshare, i the up being too familiar, i try to 'help' then find it's not welcome, i say dumb shit and instantly regret it, I'm not good at reading people or what they want or need, etc etc...

like for sure I'm annoying and often unpleasant to be around... I'm gonna keep working on it but it doesn't seem likely to change very much aside from like... forcing myself to shut up generally which isn't super helpful to anyone ... I'm just not good at determining beforehand when the things I'm gonna say are gonna be welcome...

idk i guess my main priority has just gotta continue being like, trying to be good to people?? finding new ways to reach out and be generous, not judging what other people are going through or what they do, assuming best intentions etc

still having to learn to get better at guessing and trying to read what peoples responses mean and tailor my interactions with what people need and want from me...

and like, trusting people to decide for themselves how much they wanna interact with me?? like, hoping that if someone wants to distance themself then they will even if I'm reaching out trying to make new connections and checking in... trust that people mean what they say when they reach out and return friendship to me

...

I'm not sure what kind of value i have to offer people in my life... but i just wanna be a person that makes people happier, more comfortable, more able to express themselves and be who they want to be... someone who can give love and support and acceptance... And not sure how much of an impact I'm capable of but doing what i can to make the world a better more welcoming place for everyone

and yeah i am also lonely and want want connections and friendship and community... i want people i can reach out to and have fun with and who can help me learn and grow, i even want to find people who admire me, who love me, who want intimacy with me...

but i think that's okay?? it's selfish but like, normal i think... and like, i think it's okay as long as i don't try to push that on people who don't wanna be there, and don't get mad at or devalue other people if that's not what they want

i know i wouldn't think overly badly of someone else who was feeling this way and doing what I'm doing so i dunno... just gotta keep doing my thing i guess

[cepheusgalaxy]

Thank you:)

I'm at the weird thing where like I don't dislike the sound of sex but it doesn't exactly appeal to me either but I do feel like it could maybe be fun? Like I know it's supposed to be 18+ but I have read some smuts cause ad silly as it sounds I wanted to know what was going on (that sounds so stupid). Like I knew what sex is obviously we did that in school (however they never actually mentioned anything about people not wanting sex or about different sexual orientations either which is already dumb enough and I'm a lesbian so it was kinda just a really awkward discussion of "when a man and a woman love each other they have sex" and even at the time 12/13 year old me went well that's silly what if u don't want to have sex, I was also already out as a lesbian at that point so I was like this means nothing to me🤣) but like I still somehow knew how sex worked for different secualities and what not(not entirely sure how cause I never googled it or was taught it but I just knew somehow? Probably TV idk) but it was more of like a How's it in a casual sense instead of like over dramatic movies having these grand affairs or schools awful SRE lessons.

Anyway that was a long way of saying I read it and it sounded alright:/ like the whole feeling good idea sounds nice but like not that big of a deal, I'd probably rather have a back message or something.

But like I don't think id be against it either or for all I know I'd somewhat enjoy it. But either way I wouldn't wanna just hook up with people you know? To me that just sounds weird,like "hi I know I just met u but wanna have sex?"I personally don't get that (no offence to anyone who does hookup obviously, if that ur style go u!) So how would I even know whether I would like sex? Wait till I'm far into a good relationship have it then go sorry that was weird dunno about doing that again? I don't like the sound of that,it would be awkward and I wouldn't wanna ruin a decent relationship. But then again I could just be a top and not have to do anything myself and just give my potential future gf a nice time? But then again judging by smut and the too much information people at college day that I don't particularly want ro hear,there's a lot more than just fingerings, and like oral that sounds yucky. Like idk but I don't think that would taste nice, so again even if I'm not anywhere on the spectrum (although the more I think about it the more I think I might be but idk) I wouldn't wanna do that.

And im really sorry if this is like wat too much information but it just confuses me and there's no one I really can talk to about it. I know it's just a label and doesn't define me or anything but I feel like it would be nice to be able to easily explain it ams that if I ever did get into a decent relationship I would be able to go into it knowing this and they wouldn't expect anything from me I wouldn't be wiling to do.

The other thing is I unfortunately feel like I don't know enough about the situation, I didn't even question it until probably the last year or so, I always assumed no one else felt sexual attraction at this age (as I said idk if I wouldn't necessarily mind certain parts of sex, occasionally it feels like it could be appealing but not really but I've also never looked at anyone and gone damn I'd like to have sex with them) but yeah I never really thought to look into it all that much and now that I have I still feel like I know nothing at all, Google had the worst explaintions and they always contradict each other. But it thought maybe someone online as a part of the spectrum themselves who seems to have a far better understanding of it than I do could help. And again thank you so much and I'm really sorry how long and awkward this ask is (feel very weird saying all this)

Oh I'm glad to be of help. Getting to your other ask in a bit btw!

[abcdosaka]

had a pretty hard time at work last week. got my period + i got chewed out by that one guy again (probably the fourth or fifth time by now) bc i didn’t communicate something well. the deadline is next week, which i didn't know about, and he wanted to have this completed last week and now its pushed to monday probably. it was my fault and i’ll admit that. but the truth is i just fucking hate talking to him. if he wasn't so completely intolerable to talk to i wouldn't mind it as much but holy shit. what a seriously hateable guy. i was watching a video earlier today and i got a little annoyed because the person in the video had similar features to the guy.

he always talks over me and doesn't let me finish my thought or question. he does this to everyone it seems worst with the women in the office

he definitely thinks i'm stupid. whenever i ask him a question he's like ok clearly i need to dumb this down for you (not exact phrasing of course but that's basically what he's saying). like no wonder i don't fucking like asking him questions

i feel like he regrets choosing to hire me. i know they wanted to hire someone a bit more experienced and i'm not like i just graduated. but to be quite honest in my interview i fucked up bad like i could barely answer the technical questions but i did express a desire to learn. so idk i feel like that's not really on me

our personalities just don't match at all. honestly i used to try hard to be laidback and able to handle anyone but it just kinda made me a pushover. when i assert myself with this guy he just gets mad. this always happens like every single time i try to assert myself bc i'll admit it, i'm a shy chick, i'm on fucking tumblr so no shit, but i hate hate hate the feeling of being steamrolled over.

his management style/expectations just make very little sense to me. like he's always pointing out stuff i should've done when i'm showing him results. or stuff that i didn't even think was my responsibility. he's kinda all over the place when giving me instructions, he's always skipping steps and then making me feel stupid for not being able to keep up. it gives me such imposter syndrome

all of this combined with the fact that he's super smart makes him pretty intimidating. and the fact that i have to mainly work with him bc he's the only other (specialized in my specific field at the office) is seriously like.... tough shit for me.

i'm not the first person to feel this way. two of the other junior employees said they really didn't like working with him. one of them even said she straight up couldn't deal with him bc he was so mean. she also said that the company is def aware of this but they're not great at responding to it.

the pm i'm doing one project with (which he was kinda supervising) was like yeah he's super intimidating and honestly not a fun guy to work with but he's a hard worker and will work to get stuff done. that's great that he's like the backbone of the company or whatever but that actually makes me a bit more mad. it's like when the patriarch of a family is trash but you can't say anything bc "oh he's holding it together he's the breadwinner". it just feels like it's being held over my head a bit. we couldn't have someone nicer in this position?

worst part is i can't just say he's a shit boss bc he's not wrong. like i said (his favourite words btw), he's chewed me out a lot over my communication skills and i get that i need to improve that but he just really gives me anxiety. plus he's told me good work over some stuff a couple times. (always with a caveat of course lmao). and i haven't been as fast as i know i could be bc i try to figure shit out by myself since i hate asking him questions, end up spinning my wheels and having to ask him anyway, and then he tells me i should be faster. which yes i totally could be if you weren't a piece of shit!

like people don't do things for no reason especially not me. maybe dumb reasons yes but not no reason. and i know what kinda things motivate me to actually thrive in a workplace. that is to say, i vibe with the carrot, i don't with the stick. i dunno i'm normally not super affected by it bc i really don't give a shit if he hates me on a personal level unless it affects my job but (this was on thursday evening when work was ending) prob bc of my period it really got to me this time and i cried on the way home and i was on/off crying yesterday. my eyes were soo puffy it was bad.

idk how long i'll last here. i really do kinda like working here (well i like 3 people and the rest i could take or leave) but i basically uprooted my life to be here. not that i'm mad about that bc i had very few friends back home and living at home was genuinely getting intolerable but it was a big decision. i don't want this to be a sunk cost scenario. but yesterday i was genuinely thinking like is this worth the stress? should i stay here for at least 4 years like i planned or stick it out for a year and get tf out?

i'm gonna try to be stronger and have more confidence bc i don't think he's the most unreasonable person ever. maybe i'll be petty and overcommunicate way too much and like tell him what i'm eating for lunch and shit bc at least it's fighting back somehow instead of being scared. (i'm not actually gonna do that. wish i could) but i'm not sticking around for much longer if things don't change. i just have no idea what to say or how to point it out esp if it's already a known issue. i do sorta feel supported by a couple ppl but...that has never been me, i've never felt strong enough to confront men like that. i guess if i do end up trying to leave, key word trying, i need to be really discerning during interviews. at least i have some leverage since i actually have a job now. as long as i don't lose it.

i was probably really upset bc this has been building up inside me for a while and my anxiety has taken over a lot thanks to him but i don't think its the worst situation to be in considering i'm new and i've only been in the office for like a month now. i just hate that i feel so associated with not meeting deadlines.

i also think i was kinda upset bc this dude is a lot like if my dad wasn't my dad but my boss. my dad is an alright father but if he wasn't personally related to me i wouldn't like him. getting yelled at by my dad was always terrifying for me as a kid so when my pm takes on that annoyed loud speaking tone all the fight in me just dies its embarassing. they're both really critical. neither of them can take a joke especially from a woman. plus they both smell bad like i forgot to mention this but holy moly they smell the exact same and it is MUSTY. oh and they're both asian. different parts of asia but whatever.

anyways like i know i can handle this i literally worked for that bitch karen in highschool and i was even less confident back then. plus i know i'm not stupid i graduated with a degree in this field and did 6 internships.

[kentrix11]

Oh yeah I checked out a bit of the gameplay bits people posted about Girls Frontline 2 last year, I had a lot of thoughts written out but I never posted them.

I will do it here to see how much of it ends up being on point once the game comes out.

First some bullet points about what's in there though:

It seems they are doing that thing I have kinda been thinking about of changing the hit chance of Xcom and exchanging it by raw damage thus making cover about defense rather than evasion. This is good because it keeps the tactical depth of having to analize terrain and flank/bait enemies. While eliminating the annoying "95% hit chance miss". THERE'S GRENADES TO DESTROY TERRAIN AND COVER WE ARE SO BACK (only enemies so far though? They are an important tool to manipulate enemies so hope some low rarity units have them too) They also streamlined some stuff to make it more easy to digest visually Now deciding where to move shows you lines that tell you which enemies you can attack which is nice QoL They did the thing I though of about having holograms plan out the moves then have the characters do them, for the sake of making it all seems like a moment of action rather than the character running then staying in place, I like it, it makes it look a bit more diegetic. It doesn't seem like individual actions are a thing. The enemies at least in the first maps seem to be really dumb, they just attack without any regard for cover. They also don't try to actually flank you. Damage is a lot lower across the board but due to the balancing of cover letting you take less damage that makes more sense. There's a shield mechanic that reduces damage, the shield can be broken with enough damage, there's a value that reduces if you take hits Taking hits without cover or while flanked makes them hit harder of course and eat more shield. If you get flanked while still having some shield you can still survive a little. Healers seem to be able to not only heal hp but also give a shield that seems really strong. There's status effects. Full cover + shield seems to reduce damage to 1 point per shot pretty much no damage. There seems to be like shield elements and stuff I'm not too sure about, having colors to determine damage is a pretty gacha core thing IDK how well it might go on Xcom and generally I like design based on functions rather than colors. It seems that the colors are for types of ammo that might do more or less damage against shields or specific enemies That might be interesting. HP seems to be in the thousands o hundreds early on I doubt perma death is a thing too so it makes sense (Maaaybe they will add a game mode that's multiple maps in a row where you can't use units that died in a previous map, that could be fun) The melee units seem to do a ton of damage to compensate for the risky factor of having to go to the enemy to attack Also to offset how in Xcom 2 they can ignore cover and hit for sure but since there's no chance here they give them more damage They still ignore cover though since damage isn't reduced Depending on how melee units are categorized in the colour system I think they might be pretty strong early on

General thoughts are:

A lot of the changes are really thoughtful things that you would only get by truly understanding what aspects of Xcom's game design make it an engaging game while also understanding it's shortcomings and more frustrating points to try and address them in intelligent ways.

I wonder if this will hit if only the maps are Xcom like but the rest has an entirely different gameplay loop, I feel like the loop of building your base and units is important to this kinda game too.

The Gacha factor is a very big worry because Gacha and the inherent power creep it needs to be open to, can mean a number of things will be awkardly tuned difficulty wise, so getting that really nice feeling of going through tough maps in a satisfying way might be harder to achive. Also depending on how many categories they made for units, rolling for characters and weapons could get really annoying.

Still, it's looking good, it's funny how the metal gear looking mech is mechanically an Xcom 2 sectopod.

[erigold13261]

I’m a bit afraid to ask but… what’s your thoughts on JJK S2 + the movie so far?

Already said this, but why the FUCK can Maki hear curses and why does she look at them when she doesn't have glasses on!? And Mei Mei is wonderfully animated (though I talked more with a coworker about her and I fucking hate that the series turns her into... THAT.)

But I'm liking it so far! I kept saying in my head that the reasoning that Satoru used to get Yuta to join JJK was fucking stupid. He's been lonely his whole fucking life (or at least the last 6 years) why the fuck does Satoru saying "wouldn't that be lonely?" or whatever change Yuta's mind to WANT to join JJK?

The kid literally tried to kill himself seriously enough that Rika had to stop the knife! He had full intention to end himself but just saying he could be lonely gets him to change his mind of 6 years of loneliness and trauma? I just thought that part was a bit dumb/rushed.

LOVED the design for cursed Rika though! Absolutely amazing design right there! Like her a lot more before the eye became a part of the design though.

OH! YEAH! Why the fuck is Yuta still alive!? The pact was for Rika AND him to die! That is how the curse was broken! It was a PACT! No matter if Rika wanted him to live, he should have died with her! >:(

Anyway, the movie was really good. Satoru is a fucking baby who could have stopped everything from going to shit if blue just killed Suguru at the end of the movie (obviously there would be no story but dude, come on. You know he's a threat).

Oh! Also love how Rika was animated when Yuta walked into the classroom for the first time. That was really well done!

And Maki is a bitch. Like way more of a bitch than she needs to be. I get her being upset with herself because she can't see curses or use cursed energy (and this was before more of her character development later in her life), but she still felt so much ruder to Yuta than she needed to be.

There is a difference between being blunt and being mean, and I feel like she was just being mean. Or at least projecting onto him (or I guess doing that tsundere thing because apparently she liked him and he liked her? Don't know why but kinda wish Rika and her's dynamic got fleshed out a bit more or something idk.).

For the Hidden Arc, I wish we got to see more young Kento and Yu. Like obviously I wasn't expecting much, but WHY bring them to Okinawa at all if those two weren't going to actually help Riko? (loved the annoyed fave Kento did when he heard Satoru and Suguru were staying an extra night though. That made me laugh hehe).

Speaking of Riko, I was NOT expecting that ending at all... I did not like her attitude in the beginning, but I was giving her grace because of the circumstance she was in. Which is why I warmed up to her really quickly by the end of the arc.

Talked with a coworker to ask if we get more information about Heavenly Pacts because those sound interesting, but looks like we only get scraps and tidbits throughout the series so far. Which sucks because hearing Toji's story really got me interested in them.

Toji was also really cool! Kinda annoying with how he acted, BUT it actually worked in favor for his character I think! He is really fucking smart but just has this I don't care attitude that usually annoys me, yet it works with him because he seems consistent? I don't know how to explain it, but he's fun and not totally annoying in how he acts.

Also, can he actually see curses? Because he has NO cursed energy, does the Heavenly Pact allow him to do that? That's what I am assuming, but I don't know shit about Heavenly Pacts yet.

Oh yea! When he got his with hollow purple I think the animators should draw organs! Him and Satoru should have been showing some guts from their wounds! Would have been better to me lol.

Speaking of gutting, does Suguru get to just keep using curses that were destroyed/exorcised? I swear that rainbow dragon got killed like 2-3 times and he kept using it, but Megumi's shadow puppets die and can never be used again? That sucks (maybe I am misremembering the curses Suguru uses, it's not like he can unsummon them like Megumi can).

That scissor/am I pretty curse that Suguru uses is so fucking cool! I want to see that one more!

I am just rambling now honestly. They were all really good. Almost all my problems with it so far are very nitpicky and technical. But I'm enjoying the show still up to this point!

(Still not looking forward to Hanami's death. Was also told Mechamaru dies later to Mahito and I hope it looks cool. Like if you are gonna kill a cool character let them die in a cool way! From what I was told Hanami dies in a dumb way and I want her to be dead in a cool way!

I think we also don't get to see her domain!!! NOOOOO! Please tell me we do! I hope my coworker just didn't remember it and we get to see it! We already saw Volcano Heads, Cuttle Fish, and Mahito's domains! Don't fucking tease us for Hanami's! She was about to use it before Satoru decided to be a bitch and shoot her! >:0)

Okay yea, lol. I'm done. Good shit so far!

[bulbabutt]

ok. elephant in the room or shit i thought about a while ago but didnt post, my going theory on the rise cancellation which idk if its a theory more-so as reading the room and putting the pieces together.

it seems like playmates fault to me on account of the toys being shit and then cancelled outright. like waves of toys ready to go in 2019, none saw the light of day.

obvs a lot of them were shit, not the point. the point being theres up to 6 waves of toys on the table at 2019 toy fair, only 1 and 2 were made. compare to the last toyfair showing the mutant mayhem toys.

playmates made both of these era of toys. do you see how much more effort went into one than the other. you can say movies are more popular blah blah blah. but playmates has made ALL tmnt toys since they ever existed, and comparing the rise toys to even the previous shows toys it seems obvious where they put the money.

anyway my theory here is playmates got told (or given or offered or whatever) mutant mayhem. they immediately went. oh. yeah this will make us money. lets start prepping moulds for this now, lets get ready to sell a shit ton of different stuff. and they just left all those rise things on the cutting room floor. they didnt tell anyone on the team they were gonna do that. they didnt say "yeah it doesnt matter what you do cuz we have this NEW thing coming" they just abandoned it. they pretended theyd give it a chance to come back if their movie went well just to appease them and us, cuz they saw more money elsewhere.

the dumb shit about that is like imagine saying that about like. batman or the avengers or something. yeah we wont make this cartoon anymore cuz we have a theatrical movie coming in 3 years. like. you can have more than one iteration YOU DID IT WITH 12.

truly this is nothing against mutant mayhem by all accounts it looks amazing, my point here is that im sick of playmates fucking over each tv show with their stupid hunks of plastic. it has in fact happened each time, rise was just faster

87 was good, then there were the 90s movies that got popular enough that the show needed to be closer in style to.

03 was good, then it got dark, told to be more fun (cuz kids like ben 10 now) so they made fast forward, which was also good but in its own way, but then tmnt 2007 came out and playmates literally said "nope nope, we want to save on moulds so change your show to look like this movie" then 07 didnt go well cuz warner bros didnt fucking market it (what i heard from a podcast w nolan north was that they were super preoccupied marketing the shit out of 300 at the time. which. ok very weird choice for kids toys)

then we have 2012 after nick buys the franchise. and 12 has the weird tonal dissonance of dark stuff and kid stuff, with the most "designed to be toys" characters in it, clearly messing w things in the show itself while it was going.

then bayverse comes out along side it and once its over we get rise, where the designs clearly take inspiration from that movie (donnie and raph specifically)

then mutant mayhem is announced and rise just. fades out of existence. planned seasons cut and cancelled. planned toys disappear.

anyway. none of those shows are bad. none of the movies that come out along side them are bad. its just the dumbassery of like. not being allowed more than one iteration at a time, and its nOT on account of popularity or brand synchronizing like youd think, its literally to not have to make as many DIFFERENT SHAPED hunks of plastic! its fucking stupid. rise's downfall seems to be POOR FUCKING PLANNING on playmates part for THEIR shitty toys and then also being cheap/unwilling to have TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF TOYS AT ONCE (proof being the 03/07 thing)

anyway. thats my theory or whatever that fills me with rage. i hate playmates and i think its insane that the downfall of rise literally comes down to two stupid companies and their desire to sell garbage to children.

[angelplummie]

P-P-P-PATHETIC

LOSER ARMIN X MEAN F!READER

masterlist

warnings: vaginal sex, degradation (m recieving), unprotected sex, armin likes when ur mean to him? idk, bad grammar

a/n: this is my first time writing for aot so i hope this is ok :p pls feel free to request more of it bc i had fun with this hehe. enjoy!!

“oh!” he breathed, feeling your wet wet pussy take his tip. your cunt gripped him like you were trying to make him leave, but that couldn’t be true, not with the way your legs were wrapped around him, not with the way your arms were around his neck and hands were in his hair. Your eyes were screwed shut and a tense frown was on your face. He looked down at you gently.

“Y/N? Are you ok?” he said breathlessly, holding back so hard from just pushing in and filling you up. He wanted you to be ok, no matter how much effort it took to hold back.

“I’m fine,” you huffed, face white hot with embarrassment and lust,”fucking put it in.”

he braced on his elbows that were either side of your head, and did as he was told. He pushed in, slowly so as not to hurt you, letting out a little whimper as he did.

“Fuck!” you sucked in breath from behind you teeth and moaned,”It fucking hurts.”

“I’m sorry!” he squeaked, and he went even slower, painfully slower. It felt so fucking good, it made him weak in the knees. It felt good for you too, it just made you more annoyed.

Once he was fully inside he let out a shivering moan, gripping the sheets is his soft hands. You were so tight and tense, so soft. He was concerned his knees would buckle and he would crush you, but he almost wanted to just to be closer to you.

He hated to admit it, and he would never, never tell you, but he was worried he was in love with you. He didn’t quite know why, he didn’t quite understand it. You were so mean to him, and yet he couldn’t help but see all the good things about you. You were actually very thoughtful when it came to it, very smart, very pretty, and surprisingly compassionate. Maybe you’re scared of getting close to people, maybe you’re scared of being vulnerable, he wouldn’t know. All he does know is, you’re not as mean as you seem to be. And besides, he kinda likes it when you’re mean to him anyway. You always say just the right thing to make him feel disgusting and very horny, which he can admit is an odd combination.

He doesn’t really know why you hook up with him. If everything you’ve said to him is true, you should hate him with a burning fury. And yet you text him nearly everyday, asking him up to your dorm all the time, asking to study with him. He can’t quite make sense of it, but as long as he can be around you, he’s ok.

“Oh, y/n, you-you feel so good,” he whines, kissing into your shoulder desperately, right under your ear so you can hear everything.

”Do you ever shut up?” you breath, and you can feel your heartbeat around him when he gives your neck a particularly wet kiss.

God, why does he drive you so crazy? What is it about this random dork that has you so worked up? I mean, yeah he’s good looking, but doesn’t his dweebiness cancel that all out? He’s on your unis debate team for fuck sake, he should not be permitted anywhere near you.

And yet, when he looks up at you with those big stupid eyes and smiles and bats his big stupid lashes you just melt. A little bit. It’s nothing serious. something about his patheticness draws you to him. On one hand, you want to bully him and watch him squirm, but then on the other, you can’t help but want to protect him. He’s so smart and yet so dumb, and you certainly can’t trust other people to not clown on him. Only you deserve that privilege. Whatever.

You’re not sure if he’s doing this just because you’re the only girl that will fuck him, or if he really likes you. You’re scared to ask and ruin your uncaring bitchy image. You hate it so much, but you like him a lot. Too much. It makes you feel ill. Sometimes you think maybe you love him, even if you don’t let yourself have that thought for very long. But you have to hold onto this small power, this small advantage you have over him. It’s not about winning to you, it’s about not losing. You can’t risk being made a fool, so here you are. Fucking him with no idea why he’s fucking you other than you being a hot girl. It could be worse you suppose.

“It’s so wet,” he whines, rolling his hips gently, grinding against your g-spot.

“Shut up,” you huff, trying your hardest not to make any embarrassing noises.

“You’re so wet, oh god-“ he began a steady rock, arching his back to draw out of you, crouching to push in. He fucked you like a heart beat, smooth and rhythmic, and you were trying your hardest not to whine or moan or groan or anything that could signify you’re enjoying this more than him. Because in all honesty, you’re scared you are.

It couldn’t be further from the truth, though. As he looked down at your face all scrunched up, your lips slightly parted and your fingers twisting in his hair, stinging his scalp, all he could think was “I love you”.

I love you as he jerked his hips.

I love you as he took your hand in his.

I love you as he whimpered like a bitch.

Armin was nearly convinced he was saying it out loud, although he did have somewhat of a filter. He was so consumed by you, you occupied every part of his brain, he didn’t know how to function with you so close. Not just the idea of you, but you. Actually with him. Actually wanting him.

You couldn’t know how good you felt, it was driving him crazy. You insisted on doing it raw, not that he had any complaints, and he can feel everything inside you. He can feel how your tiny cunt weeps on him, how you just get wetter and wetter every time he makes even the smallest noise. He can feel how soft, how lush you are inside. You feel like heaven, absolutely perfect. You’re his perfect girl. His perfect everything. He moves into you without thinking as you squirm underneath him, mind reeling. He hardly believes it’s real, how can anything ever be this heavenly?

You feel so full. Every time he pushes in you feel complete, totally filled and totally loved. His dick is so uncharacteristically big, you can’t even understand it. It’s so pretty too, you imagine his long fat pretty cock moving inside you, cumming inside you, and you can’t help but be a bit annoyed again that he makes you want him so badly.

“Why is- such a big cock- waste-wasted on a loser like you?” you said, trying not to moan as you spoke but instead just panting like a dog.

Armin whined once again, loud this time, eyes shut in pure ecstasy, pounding away at you. His face was bright red from the backhanded flattery, mouth hanging open and tiny dribbles of spit coming out the sides of his mouth. You look up at him, slightly disgusted, insanely turned on. The schlick schlick schlick sound that filled the room was getting louder, and if armin wasn’t so lost in you, he would be picking up on how much he’s affecting you.

“Y-You’re so pathetic armin,” you whispered, staring into his face. He was so beautiful, even when he was gross.

“Mhm, mhm. How pathetic am I?”

He fucking loves it when you talk down on him. He couldn’t place why, just something about such a pretty girl, you, telling him he’s disgusting, it made him feel so dirty and ashamed and it drove him wild.

“So pathetic. So pathetic it-it makes me sick. Fuck,“ you breathe, bed creaking underneath you and a faint smacking sound from where you two join. How is he so good at this? He must’ve been a virgin before you, who would fuck him of all people? Has he been fucking people behind your back? You would find them and fucking kill them if he was. You tighten your hold on his neck, pulling him down to give him sloppy open mouthed kisses in between moans.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, you’re such a slut armin.”

“Yeah, yeah i’m so- such a slut, oh fuck,” is he crying? He sounds like he’s crying, toes curling as he drives himself into you over and over again.

Legs twitching when he gives you a particularly deep thrust, you put your head back to the bed to look at him again. Sure enough, there’s tears in his eyes and down his cheeks, one plopping down onto the side of your mouth. You lick it as armin opens his eyes and watches, letting out a shuddering moan as your hands move to his hair once more.

“Are you crying?”

He nods, eyes shut at the sensation of you squeezing his dick. You like to see him cry.

“Why are you crying?”

“hmm,” he whimpers,”feels good Y/N, I can’t help it.”

“Who made you such a whore?”

He could feel your heart pounding in your tiny little pussy, but you were his entire world as he looked down at you. The look in your eyes of pure ecstasy and hunger drove him wild. You give his hair a sharp tug when he doesn’t answer, staring intently into his eyes.

“You did, you made me a whore. ‘M your whore Y/N.”

That’s when your eyes roll into the back of your head, mouth agape, sweat beading on your forehead as you lose sensibilities and let out your first real moan of the night.

He couldn’t look away from your face even if he wanted to, he was so transfixed by that expression. He wanted to make you do it again and again and again until you both passed out, and even then he doesn’t think his body would stop.

“Do you like it when I say that?” he asks, not teasing, just wanting to please you.

“Yes-“you say, and it’s chopped, almost like you didn’t mean to say it out loud. Because you didn’t. And you’re sure you’re gonna kick yourself later, but you can’t find the time to care when he’s drilling into you so good you can’t breathe right, like you feel him in your throat.

“Well it’s true Y/N, I am. I’m your whore, I’m your whore. No ones like you-,” he was so far gone, fucking you out of instinct, hardly even conscious of what he was doing as he unintentionally ravaged your body. He shifted his weight to one elbow so he could take your face with his other hand and kiss you again.

“Your pussy’ so good an tight, oh god,” he shoves his tongue so far in your mouth, and it’s the most disgusting kiss you’ve ever had. Tongues sloppily slicking together, and messy clicking noise coming from your mouths. Spit covers both your lips, and you moan louder than you’re happy to. You just can’t help it, you wish you could stop but you can’t, and right now you don’t want to.

“Oh god, fuck, armin i think i’m gonna cum-“ you say desperately, one of the only few moments you’re not afraid to show how you feel.

“Ok, cum please, cum,” he begs you, balls slapping welty against your ass, fucking into your g-spot so good.

“Oh, armin-“ you say breathlessly, and he leans down to kiss you all messy again, moaning into your mouth as he works himself over your abundant heat.

You clench real hard around him as you cum, causing his hips to stutter, but he ploughs on. you whine as your cum seeps down his balls and onto your thigh. So embarrassing.

“Oh- you, you- hah,” you feel like you’ve ascended, your legs twitching uncontrollably as he cries on top of you.

“You’re so pretty, so pretty,” he whimpers, putting his forehead against yours, “Please, cumming, i’m cumming, Y/NNNN.”

And then you feel it, his weight collapsing on top of you and warm, thick liquid filling you up inside. It feels so good, to be completely full of his cock and his cum, to have him all around you. You never want him to leave. He breaths heavily into your neck, lips pressed passively to it. Your legs drop from his waist onto the bed, your hands stay carded in his soft hair. Oh wow, it really is soft, you didn’t realise it was this nice. One more thing to like about armin. God damn it.

You just stay there breathing, and you’re so tired you’re afraid you might fall asleep right there. Your body is entirely limp, you’re not sure you could move if you tried. His forearms are grouped at your sides, caging you in his touch. You never feel safer than when you’re in his arms, never more content.

“Y/N?” he says quietly after a little time passes, afraid to disturb the quiet.

“Yeah?” and your voice is entirely warm, devoid of all pretence. You’re too tired to pretend anything, you just want his affection right now.

“I really like being with you.”

It’s so timid and real, your heart skips a beat in your chest. You’re eyes flutter themselves shut, and the butterflies rage in your tummy as you fight the urge to doze off. You’re so happy he’s with you, even if you’re not sure he feels the exact same way. You’re so happy a nerd like him puts up with such a bitch like you. You really should be nicer to him, then maybe you could be together like you want to instead of this. Instead of something that’s nothing. Maybe he does like you too. It’s worth a shot anyway.

“I like being with you too, armin.”

You felt gross admitting it, but at least you were telling him the truth for once.

Cheeks glowing pink, he tucked his face into the crook of your neck.

“Really?”

You make a small giggling sound, and immediately regret being born. Still, you’re going to be thorough with this vulnerability thing, so you plough on.

Armin loves the sound of your laugh, even when you’re laughing at him, so this rare sound is euphoria. He feels dizzy at the noise, love welling up inside him.

“Yeah,” You continue, “Of course I do.”

A moment of cozy silence and pounding hearts, before you continue.

“You know, you’re probably my favourite nerd.”

Old habits die hard, but he doesn’t seem to care, because he just holds you tighter inhaling your scent.

He thinks, if this is how you are when you’re sleepy, maybe he’ll tire you out more often.

thanks 4 reading! big thanks to @floweyy for being my beta reader!! love u queen :3 if u enjoyed pls consider reblogging!!

[thefreakymunson]

hey!! i was wondering if you could write an eddie munsunxreader where they have the type of friendship where he’s super touchy/sweet and they both have a thing for each other? I was thinking maybe the reader saw eddie flirting with someone else, got jealous, and has been avoiding him because of it? maybe he shows up to her room and it gets a little smutty? idk, dealer’s choice!

"Boo!" Eddie shouted, grabbing your hips as he walked up behind you. A slight squeal left your lips at the intrusion as you carefully reapplied your lipstick in the little compact mirror you carried.

"Jesus, Eddie!" You shouted.

"Yeah, it's me. Don't cream yourself, princess." Eddie smirked, "What are you doing?"

"Fixing my lipstick," you said, huffing as you seen the red smudge left by his playful attack, "Or I was trying to fix my lipstick. You smudged it."

His brown eyes gleamed with mischief as he looked over at you, "Oh...if I had smudged it, it would look a lot messier than that."

A slight blush reddened your cheeks as he winked at you. If he only knew the thoughts you've had about him doing just that.

"Sounds like a fun time, Munson." You laughed.

"It would be if you ever gave me the time of day," he nodded, "Maybe one day you'll see me as more than just your freakishly good looking friend."

"Oh, shut up." You laughed.

"You coming to hellfire tonight?" He asked, leaning beside of you. He was so close you could feel the warmth radiating off of his body. The scent of his cologne and cigarettes filled the air around you. You found your heart beginning to race a bit faster.

"I planned on it." You nodded, "Am I allowed?"

"You're goddamned right you are." Eddie smirked, "You only have to ask me permission for anything when I've got you striped naked finally."

"Such a tease," you tsk'd at him.

"Do you need a ride home?" He looked down at your reflection in the mirror.

"Yeah. I do, actually." You nodded, closing the compact as you turned to look up at him, "Mind giving me a lift?"

"I don't, actually." He mocked you, making you laugh, "I'll be back with the van in a minute. Stay right here."

You done as he said and stayed in your spot as he walked off towards the parking lot. Next thing you knew, nearly fifteen minutes had passed and Eddie hadn't shown up with the van. You sighed and decided to walk to where you knew he normally parked.

On the way there, the Dio patch he wore on the back of his vest caught your eye. He was standing next to another girls car, propped up with one hand. Heather Dixon. You knew her - everyone knew her. The conversation looked intimate and when the girl playfully pushed at his shoulder, you felt your heart drop. She was flirting with him and he was eating it up. Of course he would. The girl was gorgeous.

You decided you weren't going to wait on him any longer, especially not if he was going to be flirting with other girls while he kept you waiting on the corner like some fucking dumb bimbo.

Angry tears fell down your face as you walked the few blocks distance back to your home. You shed your bookbag and shoes at the door before you ran upstairs to your bedroom and slammed the door shut behind you, collapsing into your bed with a angry grunt.

What more did you have to do in order for him to get the hint? How did he not see that you lit up whenever he was around? All the flirting you done with him seemed to be missing the point. He couldn't have been that oblivious, could he?

It was a few hours later and you were laying in bed, mindlessly flipping through the few channels your TV got when you heard a slight tap on the window.

You looked over to see Eddie perched up on the small bit of roofting that hung under your window. If he got you in trouble with your parents...

You sighed and pushed the blankets off your body, walking over to the window. He didn't he ask permission as he stepped into your room. There was a perplexed look on his face as he stared down at you.

"You're not dressed?"

"Dressed? For what?" You shrugged nonchalantly even though you know exactly what he was talking about.

"Uh...for hellfire?" He squinted his eyes, watching as you walked over to the bed and sat back down, "Where did you go earlier?"

"I got tired of waiting on you so I walked home," you shrugged, picking the remote up and leaning back against your headboard, "Figured Heather was more interesting than me anyway, so...why wait around just to watch you flirt with another girl?"

"Huh?" He shook his head slightly, "What are you talking about?"

"I seen you and Heather Dixon talking when you were supposedly going to get your van. She was flirting with you and you ate it up...just like you do every other girl who flirts with you." You said as he sat down beside of you, "Every girl except for me."

His brow furrowed, "You don't flirt with me, Y/N."

You scoffed and shook your head, angry tears filling your face as he took the remote from your hands. He was completely blind to your feelings.

"I don't flirt with you?" You shook your head, "What the hell, Eddie?"

You bowed your head, hot tears streaming down your cheeks now. You didn't know why it bothered you so much. Maybe you liked him even more than you realized. Maybe it had moved past just a "crush" phase...maybe it was genuine feelings now.

"Why are you crying?" Eddie frowned. He wanted to reach out and touch you or hug you but he knew you were angry with him. It hurt him to know that he hurt you.

"I don't know," you said softly, wiping your face as you looked up at him quickly and then back down to your hands. Those big brown eyes of his were too hard to look at, "Just hurts that you're not into me, I guess."

"What?" He scoffed, irritation evident in his voice now, "Who said that?"

Even more tears fell as he slightly raised his voice. You were always the worst when it came to discussing your feelings to others.

The two of you were quiet for a few minutes as you sat there, silently crying and hating yourself for it. You hated showing vulnerability. This wasn't how you pictured your evening going by far.

"Please stop crying," Eddie said, playfully bumping his shoulder against yours, "I don't like seeing you upset. I miss that pretty smile of yours, Y/N."

And even though you were mad at him, or maybe just mad at yourself, you leaned your head down on his shoulder as he hooked your arm over his.

"For what it's worth," Eddie said, "I am into you...I think we both just have realized we're both not very good at expressing our feelings. I think you're one the coolest girls I know. And you're fuckin' beautiful...and I'm a little shocked that you're this upset over me talking with Heather Dixon about weed, but...you know...I get it, I think. I'm sure it did look weird from your prespective."

"It didn't look like a drug deal," you said, looking up at his face, your cheek smushed against his shoulder.

"It was, though. I swear to you." Eddie gently ran a finger down the length of your jaw and cupped your chin in his hand, "Heather Dixon isn't my type."

"She's everybodies type, liar." You snorted.

"Not mine." He shrugged.

"Then what is?" You asked, your eyes locking onto his, noticing just how close your face was to his.

Soft full pink lips pressed against yours, his hand flattening against the side of your face as he gently pulled you against him. It was soft and sweet. A slow and gentle dance of mouths as his free hand moved to rest on your lower back.

"You are," he mumbled between kisses, "Y/N...you are."