#(I'm 18 now FUCK)

[inkyu]

HELLAAAAA HIIIIIIIIII I drew something :3 I hope it's okay cuz I'm very proud of this!! I'm hoping that in the future I get better at drawing so I can come back to this and re-draw it to see the improvement :3

(I also did a speedpaint of it too though the quality of it is so ASSSS)

*Aheam....* put's it cutely under a read more because i'm half proud half embarrassed by it :3 (I might make it public later)

[writterings]

me with my 18 year old students that i teach at a college

[spaciebabie]

being 18 and 19 was the worst being a teenager in general was the worst my sincerest apologies ta anyone going thru that rn

[dimension-20-every-introduction]

Everyone Introduced in Dimension 20's Fantasy High: Junior Year episode 20 (finale)

[high-voltage-rat]

Actually I'm still thinking about it. Another interesting way in which RvB is anti-war is the way that the Director fills the role of a villain and antagonist (especially in the Recollections trilogy, where he's a faceless villain we never see but is responsible for everything that happens).

In his memos to the Chairman, the Director emphasizes his sense of duty and obligation to the military- he becomes irate for the first time when he feels that it's being implied that he was derelict in his duty... or that the work he did out of that duty is being criticized for being against the military's interests. He also talks about Allison's death in a way I find... interesting.

"You see; I never had the chance to serve in battle. Nor did fate provide me the opportunity to sacrifice myself for humanity as it did for so many others in the Great War. Someone extremely dear to me was lost very early in my life. My mind has always plagued me with the question: If the choice had been placed in my hands, could I have saved her? [...] But, given the events of these past few weeks, I feel confident that had I been given the chance, I would have made those sacrifices myself... Had I only the chance."

The idea of sacrifice is central to the way he talks about his wife's loss, to the way he talks about the war in general. He talks of sacrifice with a sense of veneration- that it's something he aspires to do, that he longs for. There's a few ways we can interpret "I would have made those sacrifices myself"...

-That in Allison's place, he thinks he would have laid down his life too.

-That if given the chance, he would have given his life to save hers.

But most interestingly...

-That he would have sacrificed Allison's life for the continued survival of humanity, if that was what duty called for.

...And personally, I think all 3 are true.

In most war media, the Director's perspective on sacrifice is very common. Sacrifice is glorious and heroic- to die in battle is an honour- and it's the only way to ensure the group you serve survives. This is a tool of propaganda- nobody wants to go to war just for the sake of it, you have to give them a reason that the risk of dying or being permanently disabled isn't just acceptable, but desirable. Beyond that, most people don't want to do things they think are immoral- you have to convince them it's important, a necessary lesser evil. You teach them to sacrifice their morals, too.

The way they train soldiers to follow orders and to kill, is to convince them that they, and the people around them, and the people they care about, will all die if they don't. It's drilled into your head from day one. It's the way they ensure their commanding officers won't shy away from sending their men off to die. The message is constant- sacrifice is your duty, and duty ensures your people's survival.

In the Director's eyes, the damage Project Freelancer caused was his sacrifice. He never got the opportunity to sacrifice himself during the war- so he sacrificed others, as military brass do. The Freelancers- including his daughter. The countless sim troopers. Any people he considered "collateral damage" on missions. And when the opportunity to do so presented itself, he sacrificed a copy of himself- Alpha- and he sacrificed a copy of Allison- Tex.

The very thing that derailed his life- the loss of his wife- he made it happen again. He put her copy in dangerous situations, let her exist in the position of constant repeated failure, created the circumstances that would eventually lead to her death. He put their daughter in deadly situations that nearly killed her repeatedly, provided her with impossible expectations leading to self-destructive behaviours in the name of duty, implanted her with two AI knowing they could cause her permanent harm. He was confident he "would have made those sacrifices himself" because he did.

The Director is the embodiment of the military war machine. As an antagonist, he is a warning against buying into the glorification of sacrifice. He's a condemnation of the idea that one should be willing to do anything to win a war- that duty to the military is the thing that ensures survival... All the messages that are pushed to ensure recruitment and obedience of soldiers.

He's a reminder that swallowing the propaganda leads to you doing terrible things... and in the end, you're a broken man left mourning the losses that you suffered even as you repeated them, convinced that it was all necessary.

[luckydicekirby]

i can't believe daniel got turned OFFSCREEN. i have never simultaneously won and lost so hard

[tinystepsforward]

ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".

like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!

on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.

returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body

literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence

[cuntvonkrolock]

if you mock children's theatre i hate you 🫶

[klanced]

Keith walking into the holding cell greeting all the regulars by name while Lance is sobbing lamenting that his life is over and his future is ruined (they were like. Trespassing or some shit he’s going to be fine)

lance: (actively dry heaving in the corner, on the verge of a panic attack as he imagines having a permanent record)(actually what does a permanent record even look like?)(omg is he going to have to go to COURT? like in JUDGE JUDY?)

keith: remy, this is lance. lance, this is remy, she’s my favorite alcoholic :)

[a-gay-bloodmage]

Never Have I Ever Sucked a Cock

(Thom x Mallory Trevelyan)

With the Iron Bull now a tal-vashoth, Blackwall revealed to be a murderer, and the Herald of Andraste now an open cross-dresser, the Inquisition in dire need of a morale boost. Thankfully, Sera knows just the drinking game to get everyone's mind off of the less fun secrets.

What's this? A "Keep Reading" divider on one of my fics? Insane!

First off, I'd like to extend a special thank you to @stenshale for spurring me to commit to re-doing this fic! I'm so glad I did! Hope you enjoy, beloved mutual!

I thought it'd be fun to include a list of all the questions played in the game of Never Have I Ever, mainly because I'm so curious to know how many drinks other peoples' characters would have had to take!

Never have I ever... 

1. ... fucked a girl  2. ... gotten kicked by a horse 3. ... vomited after drinking  4. ... knitted  5. ... had hair longer than my nipple  6. ... gone more than a week without a bath (including streams, so long as there's soap) 7. ... been to the opera  8. ... pantsed myself on the battlefield  9. ... gotten challenged to a fight in the middle of a piss  10. ... been picked up and dangled by a Qunari  11. ... instigated a tavern brawl by slapping a man on the ass  12. ... pissed myself  13. ... fisted someone  14. ... sucked a cock  15. ... faked my identity  16. ... slept with a man  17. ... accepted coin for sex  18. ... stripped in public  19. ... bottomed for a bas 20. ... had sex drunk  21. ... worn a dress  22. ... slept with a mage  23. ... slept with a dwarf  24. ... had sex in a barn  25. ... watched two unknowing people go at it  26. ... taken it up the back entrance  27. ... used a sex toy  28. ... been eaten out  29. ... slept with an elf  30. ... been tied up during sex  31. ... fucked a shem 32. ... had my cock sucked 

[memento-morri-writes]

More dnd writing because it's all I have but I here's a snippet from a vignette I did of Rook's past (from Zara's POV), because Rook and his mentors never fails to make me sick (/pos).

[transcript under the cut]

Taking a coin out of her pocket, she rolled it across her knuckles, back and forth. It gave her hands something to do, and prevented the urge to bite her nails, something she hadn’t done in years. Ten minutes passed, then twenty. Zara began to pace as Rook’s breathing grew shakier and the color drained from his skin. Where the hells is Jay? she wondered. The room was so quiet that she could hear every tick of the small clock on her bedside table, and each one echoed in her head. How many ticks does he have left? She didn’t want to think about it.  She’d had crew members die before, of course. You don’t go as many years as a captain as she had and never lose a soul. But all the others who had died had died quickly, in combat. She’d mourned for all of them, even shed tears in private, but there was something different about watching the life drain out of a person right in front of your eyes.

[spoopy-nevermore-dump]

Hey pssst hey. Have you ever considered: Montada?

I hate it, and it nearly killed my hyperfixation

But I understand my opinion on this may affect others, and many may be hurting from this episode soooooooooo

Art requests open

[daz4i]

grumbling grumpily bc i unfortunately have to admit that i am indeed getting better >:( like i actually feel excitement again for example. smh. i look forward to going out and being with people??? i am way more agreeable to trying new things and i let myself approach them with an open mind so i often end up enjoying them??? this isn't me this isn't my heart .

[le-chevalier-au-lion]

listen don't look at my bucket list of things to write that's only growing but i'm thinkingggg

girl!luca and the vr46 academy. she's one of the boys she's too pretty and too girly (have you seen luca marini???) to be one of the boys she has way too many people trying to control her career (sickeningly aware that girls who aren't valentino rossi's little sister aren't going very far. selfishly grateful and going for that chance like someone has a knife to her throat)

analytical self-assured kinda lowkey girl!luca. hard-eyed at ice princess but laughs along at iceman. only cries once that she receives more modeling proposals than contracts then vows to know bikes better than any of them

and the vr46 ritual of getting a horrible, horrible crush on her that they vow to hide from her because she already deals with way too much bullshit from all other riders

(everyone gets over it unless you're pecco bagnaia who's made to suffer)

like. franky had a normal ass crush on girl!luca that lasted like. two months. he's a go with the flow, very mercurial kind of person. celin's was horrible and humiliating and awkward as fuck and everyone was on his ass about it but he was never quite sure if he just thought girl!luca was really cool or having an actual crush. bez is half in love with all his friends. pecco is. going through the Horrors about it

[finalhaunts]

Since I have some (very reasonable) concerns about ace discourse possibly making a return thanks to recent events, I'd like to remind everyone (and myself) that majority of the time the pointless infighting and drama you see among queers really only happens online. If you go to a pride parade as an ace and/or aro nobody is gonna give two shits besides like, terfs and high schoolers who very clearly grew up online. And if one of those two parties DO approach you and give you shit for it i guarantee all the other queers there will defend you. Nobody normal actually cares this much about shit in real life and most of the community understands that; the vocal portion that do care that much don't have much power over the community outside of their echo chambers online, because they know if they just go out in the middle of a queer event and start attacking people they're gonna be the ones getting their teeth knocked out. So like. Don't let anything you read on this website make you think otherwise.

Anyways, aros and aces are queer (yes even the cishet ones), people with confusing/contradictory identities come over here and kiss me on my mouth, etc.

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Devastating news: my brother is a normal person. It doesn't run in the family, I'm just a weird freak for no reason