#(I like to be transparent about this stuff when reasonable bc I remember it being really helpful when I was just getting into collecting

[mydollsaregay]

i picked some stuff up from fb marketplace today! I actually got more than I planned for, as some items were marked as sold online, but the seller said they were actually still available, so i was able to get them as well!

the overview (plus bonus doggy).

sam’s bed frame was the original draw for me with this lot - i actually got just the bedding in a lot a while back, and have since been keeping an eye out for just the bed frame at a reasonable price. i’m so excited to have found it! it’s definitely seen some play, but it is still super cute and totally good for my purposes.

the desk is going to end up being sold or given away, as i don’t have the space for a school setup in the dollhouse. i told the seller she could keep it and sell it to someone else, but she wanted to sell it as a set with some of the other stuff that i wanted so oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i’m super pumped to have sam’s nightstand (even missing a handle) alongside her bed frame! it means i’ll be able to reuse her current bed frame and side table in another room.

in the accessories box, i got kanani’s beach outfit and paddleboard set! (+bonus random sunglasses) before i got the stuff today, i actually had no idea this was kanani’s, i just thought it was cute. when I found the map though, i was very excited, and immediately knew at least some of this stuff had to be hers. to my excitement, this all was! (other than the bonus random sunglasses haha)

next, some super cute pieces from a costco sleepover set and a petite place settings set. I’m most excited about the book, magazine, and game!

there was also some super cute christmas stuff! there’s a santa hat, a santa themed apron, a whole gingerbread house decorating set, and some totally adorable tiny ornaments. i don’t believe the ornaments are ag branded, but they’re super detailed and high quality, and i LOVE them. this year, i’m totally gonna set them up on a mini tree.

next up, kit’s school bag, school supplies, lunch, and lunchbox! I totally wasn’t expecting these and was really excited 😄 kit+claudie’s room is one of the most complete rooms in the dollhouse, and am always excited to add some more little details.

I already had some of kits school supplies and her backpack, but it’s awesome to have more. the lunchbox is totally new for me, and I’m super hyped about it! ive always loved the look of metal lunchboxes, especially in miniature!! the seller also had kit’s bed, but i had to pass, as I’ve already got one.

finally, the classic “other miscellaneous items” group haha. the dog, music stand, and hair brush are very normal items to find in a lot. felicity’s noah’s ark toy (sadly sans most figures, though there is one that i miscategorized as a ginger bread person while i was taking pictures), and a cute statue of liberty outfit for coconut are much cooler to me!

overall, this was a really cool collection of items! i had a ton of fun going through them. i also had a ton of fun picking them up, as my friend graciously joined me on my journey to keep me company while i drove, and we stopped for ice cream on the way back!

[moonlightdancer26]

Wonder if the lack of Snape scenes in HBP is bc of the pensive incident. Snape ignoring Harry.

[Your first ask: Maybe it's just me, but it seems that there's so little Snape scenes in Half Blood Prince. We get a lot of relevant stuff, but Snape actually interacting with Harry (Beyond that sassy one class and that confrontation at the end)? I don't really remember much. It's odd, especially since Snape now teaches Harry's most favorite class he feels passionate about.]

Honestly, I legitimately thought I was the only person who noticed this… I felt like it was odd considering the book was literally named after him (king shit fr), but I think he had a pretty important role and presence in the book despite not having as many scenes. He was always in the shadows, helping Narcissa, guiding Draco, conspiring with his two Masters, etc, yet I feel like we were lacking scenes with him and Harry together, even though some of their most iconic moments were in that book (“That’s my nickname 😃” “There’s no need to call me sir, Professor” “Ghosts are transparent” etc) + Hermione also makes a direct comment on them sounding alike when it came to their love for DADA. To be fair, I reckon it was an intentional move by JKR to further encapsulate Snape’s role a double agent, but I also think Snape seemed more.. chill with him in this book?? I personally felt he was more passive aggressive towards Harry, rather than just being aggressive like he normally is (💀). Harry was also much better at DADA than Potions so that, along with Snape possibly being embarrassed by seeing Harry after the revelation in OoTP and avoiding him because of it, might be the reason why. And after SWM, Harry noted that Snape was began completely ignoring Harry (until the part where Harry thought Snape dropped his potion) to the point where he didn’t even insult Harry for whatever reason, Harry said it was a tactic Uncle Vernon also used a lot to make Harry feel more “shameful” (☹️).

[moonchildreads]

and now that we're on it, i was actually thinking about dot and eddie last night. i remembered the first time they meet thanks to hellfire and dot proves eddie's expectations wrong by showing that she's not just a cute and pretty face, but she knows her dnd shit.

now i know that i'm bringing you a bit of an au here but i was wondering how do you think things would have progressed between them if dot hadn't had a background that made her know this stuff? like, everything is the same but james and his friends met for different reasons so she doesn't know much of dnd? how would she and eddie meet and fall in love? or if she'd gone to hellfire without knowing much bc dustin was very nice when he asked her to join their club? how would their story go without that? bc my original theory was "no, dnd is an intrinsic part of their relationship, it's an unskippable part of their story together" but then i entertained the thought and said "ok but what if???"

okay babes buckle up i'm off work now and this is gonna be a wild ride.

full transparency here, i hadn't thought about it before but now that you bring this question to me i realise that i've always known the answer so thank you for that insight into my own story? lmao i love you. anyways, short answer: if dustin hadn't invited dottie to hellfire, they wouldn't have interacted with each other at all. end of story. dot has no desire to buy weed from eddie, and eddie isn't exactly in the business of talking to random girls (he's bitchless, let's be real here). the long answer is, however, much more intriguing which i'm guessing is what you're here for so i'm gonna spill my guts here for you under the cut about what happens if dustin invites her but she doesn't know dnd:

if dustin invites dot and she goes without knowing what dnd is, here's where it gets interesting because you mention that dnd is intrinsic to their relationship but it actually isn't. it's not dnd what brings them together, it's dottie's eagerness.

[...] “Do you want to watch today, see how everything works?” “If you think that’s the best, sure,” she said, and he noticed she looked a little deflated. “Or not. Trial by fire,” he smiled. [...]

in that bit from chapter 3, eddie doesn't know she knows her shit yet. all he knows is that a pretty girl is in front of him, treating him nicely and wanting to learn about something he loves. he doesn't know her, she's a new student he hasn't really paid too much attention to, but he sees that she's nervous and notices that she doesn't seem to have an ulterior motive: she walked in, asked for dustin and didn't realise he was the dungeon master until she saw his supplies on the table. so she's not here for him, she's here for the game. she wants to learn. now, eddie could go about it two different ways: 1) he gatekeeps like he tried to do with erica until she knocked him down a few pegs, or 2) he acts calm and tries to make her feel at ease like he did with chrissy in the woods. i think in this case, knowing what happened after he was friendly with chrissy, he'd go the same route because not only does he explicitly think dottie's enthusiasm is adorable, he's also been proven wrong twice by women he's recently met (erica and chrissy).

and here is where it gets interesting, because now we have dottie recognising that he knows his shit and wanting to learn from him, and we have eddie getting something he normally doesn't, which is someone who doesn't judge. someone who wants to get to know the ins and outs of the very thing that he loves, who doesn't care who he is, or who anyone in hellfire is, she just wants to learn. and we see this time and time again throughout small town, because dottie doesn't know anything about metal music, but she still accepts donny's mixtape and listens to it during the weekend so she can talk to him about it on monday. we see dottie being interested in gareth's background as a jazz drummer, she switches seats to sit with all of them during shared classes after knowing them for one single day. eagerness is all dottie knows, because she's used to molding herself to what everyone else wants her to be in order to have friends. so she asks questions, she learns about things because if she shows interest, then maybe others will show interest in her too. it hasn't worked for her so far, but she's never met anyone like the hellfire boys before.

see, this story doesn't work if both sides aren't equally eager. they are all desperate to fit in somewhere, and the boys have found that they fit into hellfire and with each other. so dottie coming along and not only asking to be let in, but also putting in the work to get to know them feels so special to all of them. here comes this unasumming girl that was deemed so fucking uninteresting that hawkins high forgot she existed two weeks after she transferred and she's actually so goddamn awesome! she comes from the big city! she doesn't care if they are a bit of a weirdo bunch, she's not poisoned by the hawkins rumor mill, and quite frankly, she's a freak herself! she has her own opinions and will voice them, she enjoys high fantasy, loves music, and is kind of a nerd! she's just so desperate for love and the only way she knows how to ask for it, is to throw it to everyone who so much as looks at her, and the boys in hellfire reciprocate so easily because this never happens to them! no one treats them like they are normal but she does! so the way eddie falls in love with her is the same way all of hellfire falls in love with her: she loved them first and kept loving them so hard they had no reason to doubt her.

yeah, she doesn't know how to play dnd. it might be a little bit annoying for a table of experienced players, but eddie takes the outcasts in and dottie has spent the last two months eating lunch alone with her headphones on. they are all the same kind of broken people, searching for someone to look at them and tell them "i see you, because i am you, and i get you". so for eddie to not fall in love with her, no one in hellfire should love her, and that was never going to happen because she showed up with snacks to a club she knew nothing about because a fifteen year old told her it was cool. eddie never stood a chance.

[djretard]

when I was 10/11 I started hanging out with kids 3+ my senior, and quite frequently especially then 5+ years, and I had a hard time making friends at school so they were all that mattered to me. I hated myself for years because they had all started/gone through puberty and I hadn't, I hated feeling like a little kid and being treated that way. there was a girl, mackenzie, had a lot of issues at home. she used to show me porn and talk bad about all my other friends to convince me to only spend time with her. haylee was around then, we spent the most time together so mackenzie would make me be mean to haylee to separate us. I wanted her to like me so I did, but haylee never hated me, she waited for me to come back around.

I did have a couple friends that were my age but we never hung out after school. one was called Hero, he was my favorite, and the only one I've connected with since growing up. the other two were boys named Cole and Gavin. Gavin always used to try and touch me, just in general, and I didnt like to be touched by boys my age but I wanted to be friends with him. Hero, even being my age, was mature about that sort of thing and he would tell me all the time to not let him do that. Eventually I stopped being his friend because Hero and I got closer and that made me feel better about losing Gavin. Then there was Cole. I knew he was being abused at home bc my mom told me, and he was a trouble child because of it. I never cared, and it was easy being his friend because he and Hero were friends since childhood. then one day we were playing truth or dare on the playground and Cole, on his truth he told me he wanted to rape my dead body. coming from an 11/12 year old, I'm sure something was happening to him at home, it wasn't his fault. but for obvious reasons that really scared me, and I told Hero and I was scared that he wouldn't care and would side with Cole, but he believed me and he told me that was really messed up and to tell a teacher. I did and Cole got in trouble. on the last week of school he came up to me crying and apologized, and the three of us were all so mature and I was always transparent about my home life and about my depression and anxiety and he told me that day while crying that people really loved me. not him, just people. I have never forgotten that. even if he wanted to rape me, or maybe he was just saying stuff for shock value. but I heard later on in life he touched a little girl, a neighbor. so who knows.

but I have always loved Hero for what he did. He never ever made an advance towards me, in fact kids used to always think we were dating but it was so ridiculous to us that it wasn't even embarrassing like every other "crush accusation" ever was for either of us. we just laughed it off. he's doing really well now. had a hard time where he was doing drugs and self-harming and wound himself in the hospital, but now he has a girlfriend of several years and a puppy and a job. we reconnected because he recognized me at Walmart, he was working there and literally screamed my name from across the parking lot. we could never be friends now, we live in different worlds, but I will always remember him fondly.

[with-love-from-hell]

Detach

Genre: hurt/comfort

Written for my Mc, Storm (her name and she/her pronouns used)

Cw: emotional abuse, gaslighting, poor body image, negative self-talk, swearing, eating disorder mention.

Wc: ~2k

A/N: Writing this self-indulgent fic with my Mc Storm bc I've had a shitty weekend with tons of reminders of stuff from my dad and wanted a write/read something about Lucifer providing comfort. If you enjoy Mc insert writings, cool then I hope you enjoy. If not, thats cool too. Just let me do my thing.

Strom sighs, poking at the food on her plate absent-mindedly as her father continues his endless ranting. He has been talking non-stop for the past half hour, reminding her of all the things he's supposedly done for her in her life. As he has done a million times before, he willfully misconstrues the events of her childhood to make her look like the villain and him like an amazing hero who was hated for no reason.

"-and don't you remember all of the times I gave you money for your schooling?" He scolds loudly, catching the attention of other restaurant patrons.

You mean the $100 you gave me once for text books during my freshman year or college? She sighs, resigning herself to a nod despite her fathers financial contribution to her life being minimal at best, despite his ever-growing wealth. Not even mentioning the fact that any money needed for a car repair or emergency hospital stay was held over her head like she was a burden- but oh, now he says he would go to the ends of the earth to give her anything she needs. Apparently she has remembered it all wrong all this time, based on how he depicts himself so generously.

Storm grits her teeth through the rest of dinner as the ranting only gets worse. There was a commentary on her appearance and how she needs to lose weight and "take better care of herself," as well as complaints of how she didn't call often enough for his tastes. He wasn't a bad father (according to him) after all, so why wouldn't she call?

The end of this stupid formality couldn't come soon enough. The only reason she kept in contact with the bastard was to remain in the will, hoping to finally gain access to her mothers former belongings after her dad's death. Frankly, he has been living much too long for her taste, despite smoking two packs per day and frequently drinking like a monster.

She felt tears prick the back of her eyes as she re-entered the portal back to the HOL- on that barbatos was kind enough to help her learn to manifest in order to maintain some life in the human world. As she approached the front doors, the tears began falling freely, her fathers words still reverberating through her head. A deep sense of guilt welled up in her chest. Perhaps she did remember all of those things wrong...maybe she was just being too sensitive...maybe the problem was she truly wasn't good enough for anyone- in every sense of the term.

She moved through the house silently, ignoring the brother's individual greetings as she passed them by. The behavior was very abnormal for her. Storm was always so genuinely kind, and would never hesitate to return a greeting, even in the most dour of moods. Mammon and Beelzebub were especially concerned, being as she was always mindful of giving them extra attention during their greetings. They followed her to her bedroom, but were shocked when she turned them away with some vague mention of being too tired to hang out and shutting the door in their faces.

Now they were really worried. They knew Storm tended to isolate when she was studying for an important exam, but she never completely shut them out before. They knew going to Lucifer would be their best bet- as no matter how stressed out she was, Storm always made time for the Eldest brother.

Though their admiration for eachother was worn transparently, Storm and Lucifer hadn't yet come to terms with the fact that they truly did want to be together. Whether the reason was the species difference, the issue of mortality, or just the fact that he was too prideful, Lucifer hadn't really made a move, despite Storm's shy advances, in addition to more than one genuine kiss shared between the two. Regardless, he offered a sense of support and stability for her- a safe person to lean on when things were bleak.

She had told him her woes on more than one occasion, particularly in relation to her dad. Lucifer encouraged her to sever ties on more than one occasion, figuring her mental health would be better for it. It wasn't until realizing the reason behind her continued relationship that he backed the suggestion off of her, but he always kept a close eye on her during times where she had to interact with him...and today was no exception.

As Mammon and Beel pounded on office door, Lucifer was already just finishing up his work. He figured Storm would be home soon, but was surprised to see she had come back a bit early from her birthday dinner with her father. Based on the expressions of the two demons when he opened the door, Lucifer expected the worst.

He immediately dropped what he was doing and hurried to her room in a brisk, yet polite pace. Upon trying the handle on her door and finding it locked, Lucifer knocked gently on the door. No response.

He grew more worried the longer he stood outside awaiting her answer to the door. He knocked again, trying desperately to maintain his calm. He leaned into the door to listen in, hearing the shower running from her bathroom. He sighed in relief, knowing that she often used the shower for stress relief. He sent a text to Storm, saying he would be entering her room, before unlocking the door with his master key and letting himself in.

Lucifer shut the door quietly behind him before making his way her bathroom door, which was left slightly ajar. He knocked on the frame, hearing the soft patters of water hitting tile as he nudged the door open slightly.

"Storm?" He called out, now hearing the soft sounds of crying coming from within. Upon entering, he was faced with Storm sitting against the wall of the shower, only half dressed in an oversized shirt gifted to her from Beel and her underwear.

Lucifer felt sympathy well within him at the sight of her curled into herself and crying. Her long, fiery hair was tied back in a messy bun, and her cheeks were puffy, red, and stained with tears. He approached, calling out once more to catch her attention. She winced as he called her name, clutching herself tighter and hiding her head away as Lucifer sat down next to her on the tile floor.

"Storm...what happened?" He cooed. He daped one of his large arms over her shoulder and squeezed gently. "What has he done this time?"

She chews on the inside of her cheek, debating how to respond. Storm decides not to say anything in response, only shrugs. It felt a bit uncomfortable telling Lucifer everything. Despite him having known her father was abusive, he didn't know many specific details- like the fact that his constant scrutiny of her appearance lead her to an eating disorder, for instance.

Lucifer nods, gently pulling Storm a small distance closer into his side. He delicately rubbed her shoulders as her crying ceases. He knew Storm to generally be pretty quiet, unless she was going on about a particular interest that she had especially adored. While he often did enjoy her silent company, this silence was more tense than relaxing. He thought for a moment of what he could say, but he obviously wasn't going to pry if she didn't want to talk about what happened.

As he was lot in thought, the sound of a low growl echoed through the bathroom. Lucifer furrowed his eyebrow in confusion, before turning his attention back to Storm. She appeared to not notice. Upon hearing the noise again, Lucifer deduced it was coming from her stomach.

"Storm, didn't you eat?" He leaned his head down, trying to look into her eyes. She looked away, wiping mucus and tears away from her face with her sleeve. "I thought you went out to dinner with him?"

Storm's body stiffens as she tries to hold back more tears, the comments on her weight and the food she had ordered at the restaurant by her father circling to the forefront of her mind. Her lips tremble as she tries to hold back tears, only pointing in the direction of her sachel that was dropped on the floor a few feet away.

Lucifer hooks the bag with his foot and drags it closer. Upon looking inside, he saw a take out box that was filled to the brim with what he assumed to be her dinner. His heart sank upon realizing Storm hadn't eaten at all, and suspicions run through his head as to why.

But he shakes them away, setting the Styrofoam clamshell on the floor and returning his focus to Storm. "Why didn't you eat? You must be hungry- after all you did skip breakfast today- and lunch- despite my protests."

Storm shakes her head, feeling tears slither down her cheeks once more. "Don't...don't you think I need to refrain from eating so much though?"

Lucifer was taken aback by her comment. "What? Why would I think such a thing?"

She shrugs, hugging herself by the waist. She was painfully aware of how her belly looked in this position, and tried her best to hide it from him. "I dunno. It seems like I just weigh too much. Thats all."

Lucifer furrowed his brow. "I'm not sure i quite understand what you mean."

She glances up at him, eyes still glossy from tears. "Well...I mean...if I'm too overweight, that's bad."

Lucifer sighs, becoming frustrated with Storms vague speech. He collects himself first before poking further into the meaning behind her words. "Why would that be bad?"

She chews her lip for a moment, before replying in a mousey tone. "Well...I'm not going to be attractive enough, and you know...im 26, and he's really been hounding me about marriage and grandchildren, and-"

Lucifer hushes her, his voice holding a tone of disbelief as he finally understands what she is saying. "Your father wants you to starve yourself so you can find a mate??"

She nods sheepishly. "Yeah...A good one at least."

Lucifer sighs, effortlessly pulling Storm into his lap. She squeaks in surprise, but shockingly doesn't fight it. Usually when Lucifer tries to urge her closer, she anxiously backs away...so this is a newer change of pace.

He brushes a strand of hair back from her eyes, staring deeply into her hypnotic icey-blue irises. "Storm...you do not need to do such things to your body to get someone to find you attractive."

She tries to turn her head away, but he catches it in his palm, gently guiding her gaze back up to his. "You're beautiful the way you are, both inside and out. Just because some foolish human can't see that doesn't mean you're unworthy of love."

She looks away from his eyes for a moment. "But even the men I've dated in the past have said similar things."

Lucifer scoffs. "Are you suggesting those idiots really knew what it means to observe something beautiful? Frankly, it sounds like they took that piece of you forgranted. Some humans are completely void of intelligence it would seem."

Storm furrows her brow and meets his gaze once more. Lucifer feels his heart flutter in his chest, his pride urging him not to express how he truly feels, but his love for the Human woman held so delicately in his arms overpowered his sin.

"You are beautiful, Storm." He whispers, leaning in closer to her face so that their foreheads nearly touch. "I...I think you're the most beautiful specimen I've ever had the pleasure of knowing."

She blushes, turning her head away. Lucifer chuckles, hooking his finger underneath her jawline and turning her head back toward him.

"I'm not sure why I haven't told you before, but I suppose late is better than never, hmm?" He smiles warmly, closing the small gap between. Lucifer places a kiss gently on her lips, savoring their softness for. Moment before pulling away.

Storm blinks her eyes back open, and the two stare at each other for a moment. Storm's heart beat so fast it felt as if it may burst, and Lucifers seemed to stop, as if anticipating Storm's next move.

After a long moment of silence, Lucifer lifted Storm and carried her back to her bedroom. "What do you say we go out to a better dinner- as a date. Would that take your mind off of things?"

Storm gave a weak, but genuine smile at the prospect of going to dinner with the man she adored in a not-so-secret manner. He smiled back, feeling his heart flutter once more. He would do everything in his power to help her forget that old fool- even for just a few hours. Maybe someday he'd give the bastard a piece of his mind, but for now all his focus would be on making sure Storm felt special, as she deserved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God writing this already makes me feel so much better. I hope you enjoy it but again this was mostly for me, haha.

[buttercupbuck]

(I‘m not trying to start shit, i‘m just curious, so feel free to ignore this) What are some takes on here that you absolutely hate? I know you’re one of the people who are fighting Eddie’s terrible mischaracterization in this fandom and i can‘t thank you enough for that.

oh boy where to start lmao ok (under a cut bc it got long)

the firefam doesn't do enough to show buck they love him

the above for maddie in particular.....like did we forget that she trapped herself in an abusive marriage to give buck a chance at freedom and happiness? or that she spent her childhood raising him because their parents wouldn't?

the idea that buck's love and generosity are nonreciprocal. like i love buck so so much but fandom has defo exaggerated the extent to which he's there for others. like i weirdly don't remember seeing him supporting hen in the aftermath of 3.08, or being there for chim after he was stabbed, or visiting athena in the hospital in 3.17, etc. and i'm sure he was there for some of this bc he loves them and not everything can be shown in a 45 minute show, but no one extends this same understanding towards everyone else in the firefam (people still whine about no one being there for him in the hospital in 2.18, or the fact that they DARED go home to their families in 3.16). the fact is that - on screen - we see them supporting him more than we see the reverse, but that doesn't fit in with fanon!buck so people ignore it

literally just all the billion variations of takes that infantilize buck/villainize the firefam + distort canon to make buck out to be the victim of literally every scenario. i can't even try to list them all because the devil works hard but rabid buck stans work harder

oh but also the comparisons of taylor to the therapist from s1 and the claim that she took advantage of buck in the finale (...as if she wasn't incredibly worried about buck and going Through it, and as if buck isn't a grown man who clearly thought through his decision? ok)

i've been through all the eddie stuff before but people will bend over backwards to assume the worst of him and once again make buck out to be the victim in their relationship. and legitimately why is this something you want out of a pairing you ship,,,i don't get it

just in general, people who aren't mixed/mexican feeling like they have the authority on eddie's experience with his culture and religion. please shut the ever living fuck up and stay in your lane :)))

not necessarily a take but just fandom behavior, but it was very transparent when people learned that gw wasn't latina and jumped on that train to justify their hatred of ana as if they hadn't been mocking eddie's full name and the way ana said it the day before...and then who still continued to use "edmundo" as a way to safely spew their eddie hatred and refused to listen to latinx who tried to point out that it was hurtful. them pretending like they suddenly cared about latinx was genuinely comical

also it's clear that people only care about and are willing to "claim" eddie as long as he doesn't step out of line and as long as he does things that lead to some canon buddie future. i don't trust most people who claim to care about him for this reason lmao

[simonsrosebud]

what is kevin and betsy like? does he take therapy seriously or act more like neil?

(idk how therapy actually works since ive never gone so idk how accurate his sessions w betsy are okay bye)

kevin takes his therapy seriously, yes.  

at first he doesn’t, when he first comes to psu.  he’s too scared to tell betsy anything bc if she tells anyone then kevin is doomed.

but when riko is killed, he starts taking it seriously.  it’s the main reason why his anxiety is amplified and his panic attacks and nightmares become more frequent.  betsy is working through his trauma with him and bringing much of it back to the surface.

when kevin first meets dalton he knows he likes him.  but he still isn’t ready to tell anyone, not even betsy.

unfortunately for him, she’s really good at her job.

“i want to bring the conversation back to this boy, dalton, that you said you’ve been hanging out with.  he’s your friend?”

something like that.

“yeah, he’s a friend.”

“that’s good, that you’ve made friends outside the team.  how did you meet him?  i notice you’ve been bringing him up a lot lately.”

kevin kneads his hands in his lap.  of course he’d make that mistake.  “i was doing homework at starbucks, and he helped me with math and then asked for my number.”  she nods.  “now we hang out a lot.  mainly at his place.  i don’t want andrew and neil to scare him off.”

she nods again.  “what exactly do you think they’d do?”

kevin shrugs.  “i-i don’t know.  but they’d get in my business and probably tell nicky or matt who would tell the whole team, and then they’d be all in my business,” he keeps going when betsy’s face changes an inch.  just contemplating his words, but he reads into it.  “-and i don’t need that right now.  dalton doesn’t even really know that i’m famous.  it’s too soon, and i can’t be outed to the public, it’ll ruin me.”

he only seems to realize what he’s said when betsy starts talking.  “can’t be outed in what way, kevin?”  he stammers.  “i have a feeling you didn’t mean to tell me that, but is dalton really just a friend?”

kevin’s heart is beating out of his chest.  he digs his fingers into his leg.  “no.”

but betsy hasn’t batted an eye.  “that’s okay.  do you want to talk about it?  you’re clamming up.  take some deep breaths, you know i wouldn’t tell a soul if that’s what you’re worried about.”

he pulls his knees to his chest and drops his head.  fuck.  no one was supposed to know, not anytime soon, anyhow.

he composes himself, but doesn’t move.  “i… like guys.”  he lifts his head.  “and girls, but…” he looks away.  “i’ve been seeing dalton, more than just friends.”

betsy is smiling, softly.  “that’s good, kevin.  i know aren’t ready to tell the others, but you shouldn’t be embarrassed.  not with me, anyhow.”  he shrugs.  “would you like to talk more about dalton or move along?”

he shrugs again.  after a minute, wraps his arms around his knees.  “he’s twenty-four, he’s a grad student...  he didn’t have any clue who i was when he met me, i still haven’t really told him a lot.”

“that’s alright.  things take time.  i know you have trouble lettings new people in, and sometimes with physical touch, are there any problems there that you’d like to discuss?”

kevin glares at her, “i’m not talking about our relationship.”

she backs off with an easy nod.  she does a lot of that.  maybe that’s why she works.

somehow, betsy eventually cracks kevin on talking in depth about his relationship with dalton.  she hears all about it when andrew finds out, then when allison finds out, then when nicky finds out.

when the foxes play never have i ever with dalton.  that was a fun one.

“i’m not taking their side, i’m just asking, but do you think perhaps they could have been trying to get to know him and see if he’s all clear?”

he scoffs.  “if they were they’ve got a fucked way of doing that.  they got him plastered.”

“he didn’t have to keep drinking.  from what i’m hearing.”

“he wanted to impress them, he’d never met them before.”  he crosses his arms.

“did you try to tell him to stop drinking?  was it the drinking that really upset you or that your friends were trying to get answers out of him.”

he frowns.  “second one- but it wasn’t just answers.  they went further than just never have i ever dated kevin, they brought up things like wymack and me having to get blacked out to get my tattoo covered, and… i don’t know, sensitive stuff.”  the yakuza.  “it wasn’t okay.”

“did you express this to them?”  he nods.  “you weren’t ready for dalton to know those kinda of things about you, yet.”  he nods and looks away.

“stop reading my brain,” he mumbles.  betsy takes it with a smile, but he’d be lying if he weren’t a tad annoyed about it.  he didn’t think he was this transparent.  

or again, maybe she’s just that good at her job.

contrary to popular belief, saying i love you for the first time didn’t mean that saying it again became easy all of a sudden.  not for kevin.  not for maybe two weeks, until he can get used to dalton saying it more and more.

he talks to betsy about it, just barely.  despite everything he’s told her already, there’s something about this that he’s too embarrassed by.

the only reason he tells dalton is because he wakes up in his bed, sweating and panting in the middle of the night.  the first thing he does is squint his eyes and look for dalton in the dark, and takes a breath when he sees him stir.  he’s still here.  he didn’t leave you.  stop being delusional.

his hands are fists in the sheets, and he presses himself back against the headboard.  you’re fine.

but he still jumps a little when dalton sits up.  “hey,” his voice is groggy, and he rubs his eyes.  he almost reaches for kevin, too, but stops.  “hey, kev.  it’s d, baby, you’re okay.”

“i know,” he whispers.  “i’ll be right back.”

he steps out of bed, hands shaking, and zips across the room to the bathroom.  it’s dark, okay?

he braces himself against the sink.  “get yourself together.”  he splashes water onto his face.  it doesn’t help.  he’s just wet, now.

he leans back against the wall and slides to the floor.  here’s his dilemma.  there’s a part of him that loves dalton more than life itself, he thinks.  and by a part of him he means all of him.

so why is he so scared of it?  of saying it freely, or without a second thought?  he’s never done this before.  he doesn’t know how it’s supposed to be, he just doesn’t understand why he so scared that he’ll get used to saying it and one day be reject-

oh.

dalton is up on his phone when he leaves the bathroom, and turns it off when he crawls back into the bed.  “are you okay?”

“i’m fine,” he says.

“kev”

kevin tucks his hands into the comforter and balls his fists.  “um, i had a dream that you left,” he mumbles. “i know it’s stupid, i just had a moment, it’s whatever-“

“no, it’s not stupid.  i’ve had the same dream before�� s’why i said i love you the first time, actually.”

kevin purses his lips.  he can just barely see dalton’s frown.  “um, don’t judge, but i think… i have a hard time saying i love you,” he mumbles.  “so you just have to let me get used to it.”

“okay,” dalton says.  “do you wanna talk about it at all?”

kevin shrugs.  “i don’t know.”  but betsy’s advice swirls in his head.  the only way to know how he feels is talking to him, even if you’d rather not.

“you’re the first person i’ve had a real relationship with.  i think i’m scared i’ll get used to saying i love you and then one day you just won’t say it back.  reject me, or whatever.”  he lies back and feels dalton following.

dalton is lying on his stomach with an arm over kevin and his chin on his chest.  “you’re not crazy for being scared of that,” he mumbles.  “but i can tell you that i don’t see it happening.”  he brushes kevin’s hair from his forehead.  “i’m not leaving anytime soon.”  he kisses his chest since he can’t reach his face without moving.

“okay,” and kevin swallows his fear, or pride, he’s still not sure.  “i love you.”

the next week at his appointment with betsy he tells her of the late night realization, and how dalton reacted to it when he told him.

“the thing to remember about dalton is that we know he’s not going to reject you out of the blue, yes?  from what i see here and there, he’s not just a fling or a short time boyfriend, and he’s now made it clear to you.”

kevin holds his hot chocolate close to his face.  he hasn’t drank any of it, but it’s warm in his hands and the steam is nice on his face.  “yeah,” he murmurs, and without thinking, “i’m pretty sure he’s my soulmate.”

oh?  “i thought you didn’t believe in that kind of thing?”

he shrugs in attempt to hide his shock from saying it, and then tries to hold back a shit eating grin.  “yeah, well… it’s dalton.”

[surveillance-0011]

TBOI Headcanons: Horsemen

Death

He/him

He’s...nice. Not a good person by any means but he’s the most polite of the bunch. Kind of strange though. Creepily calm, a bit sarcastic, and he has a pretty morbid view on the world.

Reserved and usually grumpy. He can be rather chipper off-duty, though. Putting up with the others takes a lot of energy from him.

Tired....

A bit neurotic but good at coming off as a down-to-earth guy.

He’s the most book-smart of the bunch and he’s fairly wise. A bit emotionally stunted, but he tries his best to be mature and make the right choices.

Death is more than a bit nihilistic and pessimistic. He has a hard time just... caring, mostly about himself.

Not to say he’s completely apathetic, he can be pretty empathetic but he tries not to act on that too much because if he did his job would have broken him by now.

He likes to think he’s got it all under control, but he does not. He’s more prone to pettiness and stupid decisions than he’d like to admit.

That being said he’s been pretty good with like. Growing and maturing though. He’s changed more than he realizes in just in the past.... decade or so ago. A bit of a late start for an immortal but hey at least he’s slightly less of a scumbag.

It’s usually not easy to anger him unless he’s really tired or something’s already set him off. When something does piss him off badly he’s a bit prone to freaking out. He’s not very good at handling his emotions. 

Sees his own job as a necessary evil, because hey, someone’s gotta do it.

Interested in botany/gardening, as well as literature.

Genuinely nice- or at least polite- to the kids when he’s not supposed to be murdering them. He sees no reason to go out of his way to do so, especially since unwarranted cruelty towards others has only bit him in the ass.

Famine’s older brother. The two have always had each other’s backs.

Diligent, and always considers the logistics to things instead of acting on emotion alone.

Protective of the other horsemen.

Pretty short tbh

His horse’s name is Chili.

Famine

She/he (bigender). You can use both interchangeably or only use one set, she doesn’t care. Fine with they/them too but it’s never really clicked w/ him enough to be preferred.

Usually prefers more masculine terms (brother, sir, mr...) but fine with anything.

.Flips between bouncing off the walls and having no energy whatsoever.

Impulsive, she’s got terrible judgement and has the most idiotic of ideas sometimes.

Fairly easygoing, tries to forgive and forget and doesn’t let little transgressions get to her

Actually pretty damn sad. Needs some self care but never looks after herself.

I mean she’s optimistic and usually happy but like. There’s always just a bit of sadness, you know? He’s dealt with a lot and it’s definitely taken its toll on him.

Disaster Lesbian

Tries to be a graceful loser but she can get a bit more competitive than she’d like to admit.

Has a hard time relating to others and considering how they feel, at least when it comes to anything more complex than “bad thing happened now I’m sad/mad” He’s a drifter by nature, always onto the next big thing for a quick thrill.

Eats a lot. It’s never enough.

Plants and a good deal of food will decay if she touches them, or even gets too close to them.

Like his brother he has some interest in nature. Famine is more on the adventurous side, though. She’s tried to live off the land a few times with varying success.

Named her horse Frisk

Pestilence

He/him

Calm, quiet, but also a pessimistic jackass.

Always in a bad mood. I mean, he’s permanently sick with just about everything contagious and deadly. You’d be grumpy, too!

Surprisingly high pain tolerance. A good deal of his nerves have probably just.. shut down or something. Or maybe he’s just numb to everything after a lifetime of pain.

Sleeps a lot

Dislikes his situation a lot, but doesn’t mind the company of the others.

Lazarus is terrified of this dude. The other kids are mostly grossed out or annoyed by him.

Likes to be alone.

Fairly smart, but comes off as absent minded bc he’s pretty much too sick to function. He slips up a lot and he’s pretty damn clumsy

Probably the most rational of the bunch, when he’s not in airplane mode. 

He’s also got a fairly strong moral compass. He doesn’t really like fighting the kids unlike War and Famine. Or just having to go up against people in general. Hell he hates the fact people get sick because of him. At the very least Pest has higher standards and is fairly transparent

But that isn’t to say he’s a good person. Yeah he doesn’t go out of his way to hurt others for shits and giggles and He’s Not Conquest but he doesn’t ever object to any of the shit the kids are put through and well. Yknow he still does kill them. He will also encourage some of War’s antics when it’s against someone he dislikes.

Tries to be as supportive as he can for the others. He knows he can’t do too much without overexerting so he tries to be encouraging and comforting as he can.

This compassion usually isn’t extended to humans, though.

Not very emotive, the only emotions he ever really expresses would be disdain and mild concern.

Not very fond of Conquest but they don’t hate each other. They actually work together well, too.

Friends with Mahalath. They’re pretty close!

His horse’s name is Moses.

War

He/it

He’s not very friendly, he’s pretty defensive and always on edge.

Out of all the horsemen, he’s probably the one closest with the Beast.

Lots of scars n injuries, it’s practically stitched together

One gold tooth

Impulsive, prefers solving issues through violence than through reason.

He can be fairly clever, though.

Intentionally angers/upsets others, likes causing problems and ruining things for people.

Desires wealth and power

Gets burnt out pretty quickly.

Emotional, insecure, and sensitive, and he hates this part of him. Definitely overcompensates for it.

Explosive temper, quite literally. Catches fire when upset and explodes if it’s more intense. Damage done to him also makes it happen. It’s not entirely voluntary but can be held off, and his “sobbing” sprite is him doing exactly that (but he’s probably also trying not to cry lmao). In the Ultra War fight, however...

Its daily routine leaves a lot to be desired. It wakes up, goes to work, then it goes home and just. Sits and rots.

Also, his diet is god awful. Please just eat a fruit or vegetable for once maybe you’d feel better goddamn.

He cannot remember if his horse is actually a horse or not but uhh he named her Bellum.

Conquest

He/they.

High and mighty sort of attitude. Can be very selfish. Stubborn, set in his ways. Gets defensive if you call him out or tell him he’s wrong.

Gay + nonbinary but in the closet (and denial) about both of those things. They’re trying to unlearn years’ worth of internalized bigotry.

Used to be worse, now trying to unlearn his toxic behaviors. But he’s still awful.

Doesn’t remember anything before their death. However they’ve held very strong Christian (specifically Catholic) beliefs all their life and they have a pretty black and white way of thinking.

Very cold and clinical. He has a bit of a temper but there’s a sort of calmness to everything he does even when he’s pissed.

Just as argumentative and aggressive as War but like more of a threat.

The others call him Connie sometimes, especially Death, who practically almost always calls him by this nickname.

Doesn’t harbor ill will towards Pestilence. They might have been overshadowed, but it’s not Pestilence’s own fault. If anything, being out of the spotlight has been good for Conquest, even if they do miss the attention sometimes. The only reason the two dislike each other is because their personalities clash.

Now if there’s anyone he hates that would be the Headless Horseman. Fuck that guy amiright

Very protective of Death. The two are close, Death is probably the only person who is consistently nice to him.

Utterly terrified of needles (hypodermic, not sewing needles, though he’s not good with sharp objects tbh) and medical stuff makes him anxious

Seems very... off. Just weird vibes but no one can pin point what about him is wrong.

Oh uh and his horse’s name is Josephine.

[headofhelios]

Ok I am a single follower but I like hannibal tv but would enjoy ur movie thoughts I like some of the books too and have been meaning to get around to the movies 😳😳

OKAY I'M EDITING A READMORE ONTO THIS LOL I REALIZED THATS SOMETHING I CAN DO! so now my incredibly waaayyy too long answer abt my thoughts on 2002 will is under there. apologies bc this is less "movie thoughts" and more "2002 movie will thoughts" but well thats how the chips fell

GOD okay sooo for the record i am reading the red dragon book and am like 7 or 8 chapters in and full transparency im not like. enjoying it lol. the book pisses me off with its misogyny (all the women in it are either dead or it feels like you're supposed to think theyre Selfish Bitches or theyre just there for like. bizarre and uncomfortable sexual moments like the guys talking abt that woman in the elevator, or that one part of mrs. leeds diary which is like. i guess could be there to Show Her Humanity or whatever but 1. there are more ways to do that 2. the book doesnt seem particularly concerned with her humanity considering she's barely even given a first name and so far the novel hasnt seemed to disapprove of how will thinks of her as a possession of her husband) and its inconsistency with will's most important character trait or whatever (he's so intensely, extremely empathetic towards EVERYONE, even serial killers, which makes him really good at finding them! and he can never turn this off, to the point where every time he has a conversation with someone, he ends up mimicking the way they talk, even if he tries to stop! but also he never empathizes with the victims or HIS OWN FUCKING WIFE? HELLO? so it really feels less like "extremely strong empathy for everyone that he cant control" and more like "he can empathize with serial killers extremely well and also other people if we want to Make A Point in one scene instead of letting the point show through the whole book") BUT UHHH ANYWAY. MOVIE THOUGHTS. THE MOVIE THOUGHTS YOU ASKED FOR COMING RIGHT UP!

okay this is what i am worried will either 1. draw annoying tv will graham stans to my blog like flies or 2. end with me being hanged in the town square BUT. it must be said. i prefer 2002 red dragon will graham to tv will graham. and quite frankly? so far? i think 2002 red dragon will graham is better than book will graham. i cannot lie.

my reasoning: because 2002 will actually empathizes with more people than serial killers and his boss! y'know! like you'd assume someone with constant extreme empathy would! the difference between the first scene with molly in the book vs in the movie are SO striking to me now that i've read that part of the novel. in the novel he seems very... rough, i guess, and like he doesnt care about molly's worries. he doesnt seem to see things from her perspective, which especially feels like a kick to the gut because MOLLY! SEES! THINGS! FROM! HIS! PERSPECTIVE!!! she literally empathizes with him more than he does with her! what the fuck! MEANWHILE in the movie, he does seem to care about her. his assurances that he wont get too involved seem like assurances rather than him trying to get her off his back. he hugs her and tells her he loves her and i actually believe that yeah, he loves her, he knows she's worried about him, and he wants to comfort her and ease her worries. and the victims! AGAIN such a stark difference to me! in the book, will is like... uncomfortable empathizing w the red dragon, of course, but he doesnt seem to empathize with the victims all that much, ESPECIALLY not the women. he doesnt care about them. he sees them as possessions belonging to their husbands and its so fucking gross. despite already suspecting that the red dragon chooses families based on the women, he decides to waste time focusing on the husbands as a way of "asking permission to look at [their wives]." what the fuck? meanwhile in the film, he feels for the victims so much that he can barely even say that the kids were shot in bed! when he watches the tapes, he focuses on the women! because that's his fucking job!!! and we see him empathizing with them! wow!!

siiigh okay im gonna stop talking abt the book vs the movie now bc again im only like 8 chapters or so deep. but now we come to tv will vs. 2002 will, which is admittedly gonna be more subjective and part of that it bc i cant remember a whole lot of specifics from the show bc my memory is Very Bad. but anyway

let's get the shallow stuff out of the way. yes i prefer ed norton's face to hugh dancy's. call hugh dancy "gender" or whatever have your fun i support you and your right to call any blood covered man a gender but by god is that not even REMOTELY my experience. next shallow thing to get out of the way: ed norton's line delivery is like music to my FUCKING ears compared to hugh dancy's i am so sorry. like the jokes about will shaking like a damp chihuahua before taking 5 minutes to stutter out "he's killing them....... On Purpose, jack." are funny and all but christ i had SUCH a hard time watching the show bc of that im not lying. literally hearing 2002 will just say "he's not keeping them. he's eating them." nice and quick, matter of factly is better than well im actually gonna end that sentence there but you get the idea. like YESSS you little blonde bitch get to the point i love you!!!

OKAY NOW less shallow points but also less uhh idk man i just dont remember a lot of hannibal. but basically: after seeing how caring 2002 will is, i'm kind of... idk i'm just so over tv will and how abrasive and harsh he is in comparison. like i fell in LOVE with how vulnerable 2002 will is, how he feels like he cares deeply about the people around him (and honestly... idk i cant remember a moment in the hannibal tv series that made me feel the way i felt when 2002 will can't say "the kids were shot in their beds". it's like... yeah this is a guy who feels so deeply for everyone around him at all times. i believe that.) and i just dont remember getting that same feeling from tv will. i have been gently spoon fed the most excellent chocolate pudding and everything else in my memory is just a snack pack. i guess tv will has those moments (what comes to mind is when he brings gideon to hannibal's house and is crying and he says "please dont lie to me") but idk they just didnt really do for me what 2002 will does. and then their scenes with reba! wow! i rewatched the tv version after watching red dragon, bc the film version made me tear up, meanwhile the tv version i barely remembered and i wasnt sure if that was just bc of the different mindsets i was in while watching them or what. and ok i just rewatched the tv version again and like... yeah. it's the wills lol. i LOVEEE tv reba SO much she is giving everything in that scene!! she sounds so like... broken, both bc of dolarhyde's apparent suicide and bc of finding out who he was + what he was doing, she sounds so fragile and guilt ridden! she's amazing!! but will. idk. tv will's delivery just seems... idk this feels dumb to say but it sounds like writing. i admittedly LOVE the line "people who study this kind of thing say that he was trying to stop because you helped him." and his delivery there is good. but between tv "you didnt draw a freak, you drew a man w a freak on his back" and the 2002 version, the 2002 delivery seems more genuine while the tv delivery sounds rehearsed. idk overall the 2002 version of that conversation just makes me feel more? its like. idk i can feel the 2002 version gently holding my heart while the tv version is a scene that is nice in h/nnigram gifsets or w/e.

umm ok this is already suuuper long and my brain is getting a bit mushy so i'm gonna start wrapping it up lol. i'll probably compare book will and 2002 will again after i finish the book, and then i miiight rewatch hannibal, or at least parts of s3. but right now my thoughts are basically: book will is a fucking dick who has an easier time empathizing with serial killers than with his wife. tv will is a nothing girl after being so completely catered to + also idk he doesnt have the same fragility that i want from my wills now. and 2002 will is my little caramel apple. he has this delightful vulnerability and feels like he cares so much and empathizes with more people than serial killers and his boss and 4 people in a diner for one scene! 2002 will made me care about will graham! which is honestly kind of a feat!

[snorlaxlovesme]

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#yeah i managed to take two of mine for free bc i went up to my teachers and was like ''yo homie i can't even pay for a 50 cent pretzel for l

My Top Posts in 2021

(edit: my top five posts are the two last fics i posted and rants about the horrendous Chaos Walking movie. since that's like 12k words of content its going under a readmore)

#5

wishing for a shadow

Did anyone ask for a fix-it fic that actually addressed how fucked up it was to make a 15 year-old girl fight naked?

We really don’t talk about Hagakure Toru enough. I know that invisibility is a pretty well-used superpower by now, but Toru has been invisible ALL HER LIFE, ALL THE TIME. There’s so much good story potential there and Horikoshi is like, let’s have her do peace signs in the back of class 1-A pictures sometimes or whatever.

So here’s 8k words of Hagakure actually having a personality and searching for a way to have a hero costume. Cheers!

(Content warning for nudity, obviously, and implications of nonconsensual groping due to the invisible nudity. Did I mention that fighting and rescuing people naked as a teenage girl is really fucked up?)

                                --------------------------------------

Toru hated her hero costume.

Or maybe it was fairer to say she hated her quirk. While everyone else had a special power that they could turn on and off at will, Toru had to deal with her quirk all. The. Time. And it was exhausting. Wearing special clothes on the train so she wouldn’t be sat on or shoved against a wall. Flicking on a designated lamp in her parent’s house so they’d know when she was home. Making just enough noise in class so that people remember she existed. 

Being invisible had so many unnecessary drawbacks that early on in Toru’s life she decided there must have been a reason she was given this quirk. And maybe the reason was that she was meant to be a hero.

After all, it was the only real way to practically apply her quirk, wasn’t it? The choice was either to use her unique ability for good or fade into the background of her own life. So she chose to stand out, and what better way to do that than to apply to UA, the best hero school in all of Japan?

Newsflash: Hero school was hard. And even though no one could see them, coming back to the dorms every day covered in bruises and scrapes was not how Toru had planned to live out her teenage years.

What Toru really wanted was to be a normal girl. To go to the mall with her girl friends for make-overs and stay up way too late texting each other about which boy would ask them to the next school dance. She wanted to wear her hair in goofy styles and cry about zits and not worry about a building crushing her during her midterm exams. It was a simple dream, but Toru didn’t have a simple life. She’d thought by now she’d be over these silly fantasies, but when she saw her classmates’ modifications to their hero costumes the feeling hit her again before she could stuff it into that part inside of her where she kept her lost dreams.

Midoriya was testing out kicks at Ground Beta with his newly armored boots while Uraraka laughed a few feet in the air, marveling at her lack-of-queasiness from her new electromagnetic helmet. Toru stared forlornly at the new pair of gloves she’d received, with new colorful stitching. Her costume was….

Well, it wasn’t. The whole point of an invisibility quirk meant that she couldn’t wear a costume. It would kind of defeat the whole point then, wouldn’t it? To remain transparent, she couldn’t have any floating garments or gadgets attached to her body. Even the gloves themselves were technically a hindrance, but she needed some object to orient herself with her setting, otherwise her depth perception would suffer. It was a lot easier getting her bearings if she could tell whereabout her body was, and without her gloves she tended to move slower, not entirely sure where the rest of her body was while she moved.

Practically speaking, not having a costume for someone with a quirk like Toru’s made sense. Reasonably speaking—

“Oh! Hagakure-san, is that you?” Iida asked, embarrassed. She was lucky it was him who had run into her. His hero costume was made of bulky armor, so she doubted he felt it when he had brushed his arm against the side of her naked boob. She shrunk away.

“It’s not your fault, Iida-kun,” she said, hoping he could hear the smile in her voice and not the fakeness of it. “I’ll be more careful.”

It was hard, though. To be careful. The students of 1-A were gathered in a loose crowd in front of Aizawa-sensei, ready to hear what their mission was for today’s exercise. Toru was used to standing on the outskirts of groups to avoid being bumped into, but today she had gotten swept up in the middle. She held her gloved hands out at her sides, her default position to show everyone how much space she was taking up, but she still jumped when she felt Ojiro’s tail brush the small of her bare back. He flinched too, and sent an apologetic smile in her general direction, though nowhere near where her face actually was. She apologized again.

She hated her hero costume.

-

When class 1-A returned to the dorms, Toru made a beeline for her room, not that anyone noticed until her door slammed shut. She dug through her closet frantically until she found her warmest, fluffiest pink robe, and through it over her shivering body. She was so sick of this.

Aizawa-sensei was known as one of the toughest teachers of UA. He was also known for not playing favorites. But would it have killed him to warn her that they were doing underwater exercises today? While everyone else had at least some form of pants and a shirt to do their rescue dives in, Toru had to swim through the freezing-cold pool completely naked. It might have been an advantage if she didn’t have to spend most of her mental energy trying not to touch her rescue victim (Sato) with most of her body. 

And coming out of the water? That was a treat. The water droplets that clung to her transparent body made her look like a sex-shop mannequin, perked nipples and all. She had no choice but to leave the training grounds immediately, nothing but wet footprints in the cement to prove she was even there to begin with. Toru waited until she had dried off before returning to class, making up a lie to Aizawa-sensei that she felt sick and hoping no one but Sato saw her dripping wet figure before she’d fled.

How come no one else had to deal with this? She’d tried to talk to Momo about it once, feeling like she of all people would understand Toru’s pain. After all, she had a quirk that required her to show a lot of skin as well. But ironically enough, Momo had responded that her quirk wasn’t so bad. And besides Mineta, all the other boys in their class were very respectful about not looking at her while she pulled back her hero costume to use her Creation quirk. Using it in public was hard, but certainly not impossible. Besides, Momo had pointed out, in the heat of hero-ing she barely had time to think about modesty. She was too focused on saving people.

Toru had left that conversation at that. Any further discussion would make her sound jaded, and that’s not the type of image she liked to project to the world. She didn’t have an actual image, so to others Toru’s attitude was all she had. So she kept quiet about how frustrating it was to have to constantly avoid being sexually harassed while saving people, all while hoping that others didn’t think she was sexually harassing them. Toru, the fifteen year old girl with a very unfortunate quirk, didn’t want to be made out to be a villain for something she simply could not help. But what was the right answer?

Toru searched the floor of her messy dorm room until she found a terry-cloth towel and then began to scrub her head with it, trying to dry off as quickly as possible and maybe just scrub the rest of this awful day off of her. The type of towel she was using would cause her hair to frizz (she watched enough beauty gurus online to know), but it made no difference to someone like Toru. The world didn’t know the incredible condition she normally kept her hair in. 

Sometimes it felt like everything about her was a secret.

-

“Just hot soba again, Toru-chan?” Tsuyu asked her the following week at school as they grabbed their lunch trays. Even though her voice was even as she said it, Toru could tell there was concern in it. Even at lunchtime, Toru could always be found with either bread or a sweet on her tray. It had been quite a while since she’d eaten a red bean bun. She just wasn’t in the mood lately.

“Yeah, I’m just not very hungry today,” Toru told her friend, trying to sound chipper. She didn’t want to concern anyone, not in the least, but it was getting harder and harder to keep up her upbeat attitude when everything about her quirk just seemed to be bothering her lately.

Tsuyu nodded, though she didn’t look convinced. But thankfully she wasn’t the type to pry, so she led them to an empty table in the cafeteria. Toru sat across from Tsuyu and removed her face mask, a plain black one that she had bought online a few months back when she had hay fever. Lately she’d been feeling very self-conscious of people constantly talking to her chest, so she started wearing the mask to give people something on her face to focus on when they spoke to her.

She slurped her soba noodles in silence, not having much to say, when Midoriya and Todoroki passed by.

“Are these seats taken?” Todoroki asked. Toru glanced around to make sure they were talking about actual empty seats, not hers.  But there were two vacant seats next to Tsuyu, who gestured to the boys that they could join them when she continued peeling an apple for herself.

“Have they bothered trying to see if Eri’s quirk would work on him?” Todoroki asked, continuing a conversation they must have started while getting their food.

Midoriya shrugged. “I haven’t asked lately. I think they’re still scared that Eri wouldn’t be able to control her quirk and would rewind him too far. She’s still so young.”

“When would be an appropriate age for her to finally use it on him, then?”

“Are you talking about Togata-senpai, ribbet?” Tsuyu asked.

Midoriya nodded, looking pained. “I don’t know, Todoroki-kun. He’s still coming to school, at least, but not full-time. Without his quirk he doesn’t have much use for the hero courses he was taking.”

Toru had vaguely heard about this from Tsuyu and Ochako. Apparently the third-year who had done a fight demonstration for class 1-A after the provisional exam was injured during the Shie Hassaikai raid.  He’d been hit by one of the darts manufactured to take away people’s quirks while rescuing a child. Toru, in one of her darker moments, had selfishly wondered what would happen if she had gotten hit by a dart like that. Would all of her problems be solved? If her quirk was erased would she be visible? Could she finally live her life like a normal girl?

But then she had passed by the hospital wing shortly after, to get some bandages for Kaminari. Togata Mirio sat alone in a hospital bed with a bandage wrapped around his waist and the blankest expression she had ever seen on the normally-cheerful upperclassmen’s face. She was thankful for her quirk in the moment, so Togata didn’t have to see the shame written all over her.

The feeling still burned through her at the mention of his name, so Toru kept to herself as she ate her lunch, seamlessly blending with the background as she often did.

“Le Million isn’t gone just because Togata-senpai doesn’t have his quirk,” Tsuyu told the boys insightfully. “He’s still plenty heroic without his Permeation.” 

“He could always just be a citizen for a few years until Eri gets older, I suppose,” Todoroki said idly. “Or he could be a police officer. Quirks aren’t required to be a part of the force.”

Midoriya stared off into the distance. “I guess. I just can’t imagine him in a police uniform instead of his hero costume. It’s too hard to think about.”

Toru slurped her noodles a bit too loudly at that, and all at once all eyes were on her. Well, her chopsticks.

“Hagakure-san?” Midoriya said.

Toru cleared her throat delicately before speaking. “Hero costume? I thought that Togata-senpai couldn’t wear clothes while using his quirk.”

“Oh!” Midoriya said cheerfully, understanding her surprise. “The only time you saw him fight was in his P.E. uniform, wasn’t it? No, Le Million’s hero costume is this really awesome full-body suit with a cape and the number one million written across the chest! I think he got the inspiration from—”

“But how does it stay on him?” Toru asked, cutting Midoriya off before he could start rambling.

If Midoriya was put off by her interruption, he was kind enough not to show it. “It’s woven out of some specially-made fabric,” Midoriya said. “The inspiration appears to be from—”

And for the second time that day, Toru cut Midoriya off. But this time it was to abruptly leave the table, leaving the rest of her soba and her friends behind.

-

Toru hoped all the work she had put in making friends with her classmates for the past few months would make up for her rudeness at lunchtime. But after hearing that there was a specially-woven fabric that could form to quirks, Toru could no longer sit idly by.

This could have been her solution! Not the one she had secretly, selfishly wished for, that her quirk would one day disappear and she would wake up a normal, visible civilian. But the more attainable goal, that she could find a way to make a costume that wasn’t so revealing. Something that gave her more coverage while still allowing her to maintain the one advantage that her quirk gave her in the field.

She had run immediately to the Principal Nezu’s office and requested Togata Mirio’s contact information, saying that it was urgent and related to education. The principal gave it to her with little hesitation, perhaps seeing an outcome to their meeting that she couldn’t fathom with her human brain. But Toru didn’t care, so long as she was able to talk to Togata about the nature of his costume.

Texting him had been a little nerve-wracking, especially since her senpai probably didn’t even know she was alive, but after explaining through text that she was a student from 1-A with some hero questions, Togata seemed perfectly happy to meet her in the courtyard on campus and chat with her.

Feeling better than she had in weeks, Toru made an effort in her appearance. Wearing a form-fitting black turtleneck, checkered skirt, and thigh-high stockings, she was feeling more like herself than she had in a very long time. Another girl would probably style her hair or apply make-up for a meeting with an upperclassmen boy, but Toru didn’t. She brushed her transparent hair and let it hang down straight, not that anyone else would know the difference. She did choose a more stylish mask today, looping a purple one with a bedazzled kitty face on it around her ears before heading away from the dorms to their meeting spot.

She sat on a bench in the courtyard, a few minutes early, and anxiously tapped on her thighs as she waited. Now that she was here, she was starting to get nervous. As excited as she was to talk about hero costumes, it was now occurring to her that her blank-faced senpai might not actually want to talk about hero work now that he had been forcefully relegated to civilian status. He’d gone through a traumatizing ordeal and had his whole life ripped away from him only a few months ago. Was she being incredibly selfish again?

“Hagakure-san?” Toru heard, and leapt to her feet awkwardly as Togata entered the courtyard.

“S-senpai! I’m glad you could come on such short notice!” she squeaked. She shouldn’t have asked him to come, what was she thinking—

“I like your mask,” he said with a sunny smile, coming to sit beside her on the stone bench. He didn’t look upset in the slightest. “I really love cats.”

“Really?” Toru asked stupidly.

“Yeah!” he said enthusiastically. “The way their tails swish back and forth, their rough tongues, their little toe beans? Cats are the best. If I could spend a day in a pile of cats, that would be the best day ever.”

Toru….did not know how to respond to that. The last time she saw him he had looked so depressed. She didn’t think that he would come here to talk to her and look so happy. Togata was sitting beside her, all six-foot-something of him, with his broad shoulders and his perfect hair and he was talking to her about cats. What did she call him here for again? 

Thankfully, Togata could not see the way she was gaping at him and just took her silence as a means to continue. He went on a Midoriya-like ramble for the next few minutes or so about his favorite breed (Singapura) before Toru finally found the will to speak.

“Togata-senpai?” she said gently, trying to make up for her earlier rudeness with her friends by at least interrupting this boy kindly. He stopped talking to look at her curiously. “I actually didn’t come here to talk about cats. I was hoping to talk to you about hero work…if that’s okay,” she tacked on lamely, hoping not to offend him.

He looked unbothered, smiling at her kindly. “Sure! I have a lot of experience out in the field, so I’m sure I could offer you some advice if you need it. Is something bothering you?”

“Well,” Toru said, looking down at her lap. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to bare her soul so openly to someone who was basically a stranger to her, so he kept her explanation brief. “Due to my quirk,” she splayed her arms out to gesture to her invisible form, “I don’t have a lot of options, costume-wise. Midoriya told me that your Le Million costume was constructed of a special fabric so that you could wear it while using your Permeation quirk, and I was just wondering if the same material might work for my quirk as well?”

Togata looked on thoughtfully. “Well, you see. My costume was made from my own hair.”

Toru blinked. 

“Your hair?”

He nodded. “With Permeation, I phase through every solid object around me when I use my quirk. You saw me fight your class, I could barely keep my P.E. uniform on,” he said with a bashful chuckle. “But if my costume is made from me, I can use my quirk on it so both me and my clothes permeate. You see?”

“Oh,” Toru murmured. 

She really didn’t realize how much hope she had in this plan until it was dashed right in front of her eyes. There wasn’t some special all-in-one fabric swatch she could use to make her own full-body suit with a cape. She was Hagakare Toru, and life did not treat her that kindly. She would spend the rest of her hero days either shivering from the cold or being unintentionally (or even worse, intentionally ) groped by every person she attempted to save.

Her vision swam from disappointment, and when the tears started beading in the corners of her eyes, she did nothing to stop them.

“Hagakure-san! What’s wrong?” her senpai asked, flapping his hands wildly in concern when he saw the water drip down the invisible contours of her cheeks.

“I just thought—I just hoped I could have a costume like yours, Senpai,” she sniffed miserably. “I can’t stand doing hero work with no clothes on. I don’t want to want to be a hero if I have to be naked for it.”

Togata seemed to finally understand what she was here for, and the sympathy in his eyes showed it. While the pity was appreciated, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be around anyone right now. She stood to leave, but before she could turn away from him Togata touched her very gently at the elbow. She stopped and looked down at his hand, and he immediately took it away. 

“Wait, don’t go yet. I understand completely what you mean. I spent so much of my first year at UA forced to laugh it off whenever my clothes would fall off while training with my classmates. I know how it must feel for you, to an extent.”

Toru thought of her classmates, who brushed off her concerns dismissively. “You do?”

That constant smile returned to his face, though there was a sad twist to it. “Embarrassing. Vulnerable. Incredibly lonely.”

She blinked a few more tears away and nodded.

Togata continued. “It’s hard when you have a quirk with such a unique drawback. No one wants to think too much about how hard it might be for you. Especially since you’re so cheery; you can’t possibly be bothered by it. Sound familiar?”

To a tee. 

“It sucks having to be the positive one all the time,” she said, brushing her cheeks with the palm of her hand. “It means no one likes you when you act truly unhappy.”

Togata swallowed and nodded. She wondered what it must be like for him now, to have lost his quirk and still keep that sunny smile on his face. She wondered how genuine he was when he first showed up here, or if he was putting on an act just like she did every day.

She thought to ask him. “Togata-senpai—?”

But Togata was already pressing on. “But I do think there’s something we can do for you. While the material for my suit won’t be usable for you, there’s no reason why the same method of costume production won’t work for you, Hagakure-san.”

“My hair?”

Togata shrugged. “If it worked for me, I don’t see why it wouldn’t work for you. It’s worth a shot, anyway. How long is your hair?”

Without asking, his hand reached out. Toru never got used to this. It was always worse because of how horrible people were at guessing body position. You’d think that after looking at so many humans on a day-to-day basis that people would be able to reasonably guess where certain body parts were, but Toru was often unpleasantly surprised by where people grabbed her first. 

She closed her eyes and waited for it to be over, but his hand never fell. She cracked open one eye and saw Togata’s hand, suspended a few inches above the crown of her head. Her eyes then flicked to his face, where he waited patiently for her.

The saltwater didn’t seem to have fully left her eyes as she reached up her hand and took hold of his own, before guiding it gently down the length of her hair. His fingertips grazed the very ends of the strands for a moment before letting it fall back to her shoulders. He smiled again.

“That should be plenty to start.”

-

“Shouldn’t we be going to the Costumes Department?” Toru asked as she followed Togata’s lead, walking towards a wing of UA that she’d never needed to enter before today. 

“Nah, they’d take too long to make it. They’re always backed up. But the Support Class students are always itching for new projects,” Togata said like the wise senpai he was. “No one is more Plus Ultra than UA students themselves, after all,” he said with a wink.

Toru took this logic in stride as she stood before the Support Class Workshop, but admittedly she was a little nervous. They were still students, after all.

“What if they mess up?” she asked. She’d be foolish to not voice her fears now, before it was too late.

Togata seemed unfazed. “Then we try again. Hair isn’t a finite resource after all. It grows back. And if you can find someone with a helpful quirk, your costume material could grow back faster than you think!”

Toru supposed she couldn’t argue with that, so she steeled herself for whatever was to come and opened the door.

A drone zipped past her head and out the door, so quick Toru didn’t even have time to duck.

“Don’t leave the door open!” a student covered in grime yelled from on top of an incredibly tall ladder. “My babies will escape!”

“Babies?” Toru asked curiously. Togata closed the metal door behind them and caught another drone flying their way before it could smack into the wall. The student who had yelled at them before was already focusing her attention elsewhere, picking up an electric tool that Toru couldn’t identify and hopping inside of the cabin of a giant mech.

“That’s Hatsume Mei,” Togata told her. “She’s a first-year, but she’s already at the top of the Support Class. If anyone can help you, it’s her.”

“Is that praise I hear?” Hatsume Mei called out, poking her head out of the robot and grinning wildly. “Le Millioni! It’s been ages. What can I do for you?

“We’re actually here for Hagakure-san today.” Togata explained the situation to her while she worked, undeterred when Hatsume climbed back in her machine and continued working on her invention. He told her of Toru’s unique problem as impersonally as possible, only telling her the necessary details, which Toru was grateful for. Her fingers fiddled with the hem of her skirt as she waited until Togata ended his explanation, wondering if Hatsume could fashion a costume for her out of her own hair.

“So you said it was mid-back, right?” Hatsume Mei yelled over the sound of a drill. She was back inside the robot and sparks were shooting out of it at rapid intervals. Toru and Togata ducked their heads in tandem as some shot their way.

“Closer to my lower back, actually!” Toru shouted back. 

Toru had always been incredibly proud of her hair. It was a personal thing, obviously, since no one could see it, but that didn’t stop Toru from meticulously maintaining it from a young age. Even if it wasn’t visible, Toru could still feel it, so she’d always gone out of her way to treat her hair properly so she could at least revel in the sleek texture of it. She’d followed beauty influencers online for years to discover the perfect balance of shampoos, conditioners, leave-ins, and other miracle products to keep her hair in perfect condition. Hair length like hers could only be achieved through proper care of healthy hair.

The drilling noise cut off suddenly and Hatsume pulled herself out of the robot and climbed down the ladder. She flipped up her grease-smudged goggles to eye Toru curiously. Toru, used to this reaction, let herself be scrutinized. 

“I can work with that,” she said finally. “Though there is the caveat of it being invisible. I need to be able to see my materials in order to make a beautiful baby out of them.”

There was always something, wasn’t there? Every time Toru thought she was taking a step in the right direction, the rug was pulled right out from under her—

“That’s an easy fix, though,” Togata said. “Temporary hair dye will help you cut it off of her and work it into usable fabric. Then you can wash the dye out when you’re all done.”

And just like that, there was hope again. Toru looked at Togata in amazement.

Hatsume smiled grandly at Togata. “Look at that! Beauty and brains. What don’t you have, Le Million?”

A quirk , Toru thought glumly. But Togata didn’t miss a beat. “Time to waste, Hatsume. Toru needs this costume done as soon as possible, okay?”

“Don’t they all,” Hatsume said flippantly, tossing her tool on a desk behind her. “Alright, cutie,” she said, addressing Toru this time. “If you want support gear from me ASAP then I’m going to need you to come back to me as quick as you can with dyed hair, got it? Then I’ll get to work on turning it into something usable for you.”

“Do you really think you can do it?” Toru asked. All of this hoping was exhausting her.

“Ye of little faith. I perform miracles in this workshop every day!” she shouted, extending her arms out widely to gesture to the room of junked parts. “Now, begone until you’ve returned with dyed hair. I have schematics to work up.”

And just like that, they were kicked out of Hatsume Mei’s workshop of miracles, something Toru believed in for the first time in a long while.

-

Two days later, Toru walked out of the Workshop of Miracles feeling lighter than she had in all the time she’d been a student at UA. Most of that was due to the 13 inches of hair cut from her head, but she couldn’t deny that optimism had something to do with it too.

“I like the haircut,” Togata told her as he met up with her outside of the workshop. He was smiling that same sunny smile, but Toru didn’t have it in her to question it after feeling so high. 

She shook her head from side to side, reveling in the feeling of the tips of her hair hitting her face. The other night she had approached the girls of 1-A with a proposition: make-over night. Thrilled beyond all belief, they were incredibly eager to follow her to the drugstore for a night of fun, picking out nail polish and facial masks and of course, hair dye. After mixing it with care, Ochako had taken a specially purchased paintbrush to apply the dye evenly and consistently to her hair, making sure every strand was fully coated. The morning after, she had sent an email to Aizawa-sensei saying she wouldn’t be able to participate in Stealth training for a week and then took the day to bask in the feeling of being truly seen.

“It’s a shame I didn’t get to see it while it was still long,” he said as he walked beside her, matching his pace with hers as they made their way to the cafeteria. Despite the fact that she had a freshly-cut, lilac-colored bob swishing on her head, he still made the effort to focus his gaze on the space between her hairline and her mask, a white one with rainbow-colored cat whiskers. Toru smiled widely.

“It’s alright, Senpai. You didn’t miss anything,” she said genuinely. 

What he wouldn’t want to miss was still yet to come.

-

This was, perhaps, the one time Toru truly allowed herself to be manhandled. Even the word “allow” felt a little strong, for Hatsume Mei had come to her with an eagerness that couldn’t be denied, but with Toru being just as ecstatic as the engineer was, she didn’t push back too much when Hatsume insisted that she blindfold Toru for the reveal of her new costume. So after tying a UA uniform-standard tie around her eyes, Hatsume set to work dressing Toru, making easy work of her and not once misplacing where certain body parts might be.

“Are you guys almost done in there?” Togata asked from outside of the crudely-made fitting room. It wasn’t more than some strategically placed Support Pieces and a curtain draped between the stacks, but it was more privacy than Toru usually got when she undressed, so she was grateful.

“Al-moooooost,” Hatsume sang, in an extraordinary mood, which only made Toru’s spirits climb higher. After the rustling of fabric and a few tugs later, Toru felt herself being spun in a circle and led to the outside of the fitting room. Togata remained quiet as Hatsume untied the tie and pulled it from Toru’s eyes in a grand flourish.

Before Toru was a large full-length mirror, with Togata off to the side, watching with quiet awe. She almost couldn’t understand his expression at first, until she turned her body slightly and saw her hair catch the light, a purple shimmer still tinting parts of it even after she’d washed it several times.

But that’s all she saw.

Toru walked forward and touched her hand to the mirror before pulling it away. The glass felt cool and smooth beneath her palm, but she had not seen her approach the entire time she’d walked towards it. Only Togata and Hatsume’s giant smiles as they stood behind her.

Togata’s expression started to dip when he saw the tears rolling down Toru’s cheeks, a similar sight to what he had seen the day he first met her, except now they were suspended alone in midair.

“Oh, no. Hagakure-san, if you don’t like it—”

A little laugh bubbled out of her before she could stop herself, then another, until Toru found herself crying and laughing in equal parts.

Togata looked confused until Hatsume, who had never stopped grinning, handed over her goggles to him.

“Click the right button twice for thermal imaging, Beauty,” she whispered to him.

And then Togata was able to see Toru as she truly stood, a smile practically splitting her face in two as her hands roved up and down her body. Just her 13 inches of hair had made enough material for a shirt the length of a crop top, with spaghetti straps crossed behind her back. Her bikini-cut bottoms covered her front and backside completely, and there was even a tiny bit of material left over to make a tie for Toru’s hair, so the longer strands of her bob could be pulled back into a small ponytail at the back of her head. She was invisible, but she was covered , for the first time in her life, and Toru couldn’t stop crying as she clung to the feeling of security around all her most intimate parts.

“Now once your hair grows back, I’ll be able to add more to it, of course. This is just the prototype stage. If you take your vitamins or, if you’re like our senpai over here, you find someone with a hair-growth quirk, we’ll be able to add all sorts of pieces to it, such as—”

Hatsume couldn’t get any more words out, crushed as she was in Toru’s vice grip embrace.

“Thank you,” she cried into the engineer’s neck. “Thank you so much.”

Hatsume hummed and patted her back. “All in a day’s work. Glad I could help.” She rubbed Toru’s bare shoulder for a moment before jumping back. “Oh! Wait, I didn’t show you the best part.”

She extracted herself from Toru to head back to the makeshift dressing room, where she brought out the briefcase that all UA students carried their costumes in. Toru’s had previously only contained her white striped gloves. But when Hatsume opened it up, she saw much more.

It almost looked like a miniaturized closet, a rod going across the top of it and a tech-y looking hanger dangling from the middle. On the bottom of the velvet-lined case were a bunch of black discs the size of silver dollars, each with a blinking red light.

“This—” Hatsume said as she pointed to the hanger “—is where you put your costume after you’re done wearing it. The hanger is weight sensitive, so when your costume is on it, it will light up green so you know that it’s there even if you can’t see it. Should it not be in your case and you need to try and locate it—” Hatsume picked up one of the small discs “—use one of these sensors to track it. Your costume gives off a signal that can be registered on one of these from up to 500 meters away. There’s a tiny twist of wires in both pieces that act as a homing beacon. I made them as small as possible so they’re barely visible to the human eye unless you’re dancing in front of a stark white background. Otherwise you should be good.”

Toru twisted and turned about, patting down her sides, unable to even feel the wires Hatsume was talking about. The engineer was good. 

“Why are there so many sensors?” she asked.

“Ah, yes. These also double as tools to be given to your team when you go out on assignment for hero work. Now your teammates can locate you even if you can’t respond to them aloud. Helps with rescue ops and things like that.”

Toru didn’t know what to say. 

“You put a tracking device in my suit so my friends can find me?”

“Yes, essentially.”

Toru swallowed, the emotion in her throat coming close to clawing out of her. How did Hatsume know? How could she have known that Toru was terrified of getting lost or injured during her hero work? Of no one knowing where to look? She’d never told anyone that. She was Hagakure Toru, the upbeat attitude of 1-A, the comic relief when everyone else was feeling overwhelmed. How did she know Toru was petrified that a stealth operation would turn into a mission where she’d be lost forever?

“I can’t take the credit for that idea,” Hatsume continued good-naturedly. “Brains here came up with that one.”

Toru turned to her senpai, who had been standing back the entire time and staying out of the girls’ way as they discussed the details of the costume. He was still wearing Hatsume’s ridiculous-looking goggles, which meant he could still see Toru, though it seemed like he didn’t need the goggles at all for that to be possible. Maybe he’d been the one person truly seeing her this whole time.

She stepped toward him, not at all feeling self-conscious for perhaps the first time in her life and took his hands in hers.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, Togata-senpai,” she said, her voice packed with sincerity.

She’d seen so many smiles from him in these past two weeks, but the crooked one that climbed up his face now felt the most genuine out of all of them.

“I’m always here to help,” he told her.

-

No, this was the most genuine smile she’d seen him wear in weeks.

“I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it!”

She laughed good-naturedly as the former-hero Le Million lay on the floor of a cat café, covered in kittens. He’d been shrieking with joy for the past half hour while she sipped her coffee and watched him. This was the least she could do for her upperclassmen after all he’d done for her lately. A small orange kitten crawled over his chest and flicked its tail at Togata’s nose, and he looked like he just won the lottery.

“This is the best day,” he said happily, his hands patting at the floor while an older striped cat batted at his fingers. “I feel like now I owe you something, Hagakure-san. You didn’t have to do this.”

“I absolutely did,” she said, setting down her cup. A cat sitting on the chair across from her scurried away at the noise, not being able to comprehend how the cup had seemingly moved on its own.  “And frankly I owe you about a thousand more cat cafés after all you’ve done for me.”

Togata sat up, holding the striped cat up to his face to give her forehead a kiss before setting her down to run away. He looked at Toru, eyes still full of light. “Now that’s just silly.”

Maybe so, but Toru felt he deserved it nonetheless. She wouldn’t be feeling as happy, as safe, as she felt now without his help. And the trackers…she really couldn’t thank him enough. He’d done so much for her despite barely knowing her. 

She wished she had been able to do the same when she saw him in that hospital bed all those months ago. When he was feeling lost, who had helped out Le Million? Back then, Toru had seen the pain on his face and had only thought of herself. Toru felt the venomous shame coursing through her veins again. Underneath all the smiles and child-like exuberance was a boy who was suffering without his quirk. The fact that she’d envied someone who’d been hurt so deeply still made her stomach twist. The cat café could provide him temporary happiness, but she could see that saving people was the thing that caused him real joy. 

“Togata-senpai?” 

Togata, who’d been dangling a feathered toy in front of an uninterested black cat’s face, looked up.

She was going to ruin his good mood, but she felt like she had to say it. 

“I’m sorry you lost your quirk.”

For once, Togata didn’t plaster an automatic smile to his face. “Why do you say that?”

Toru fiddled with the hem of her uniform skirt awkwardly, unable to look him in the eye. “You seem like a really kind person. I know that you would have made an amazing hero.” She cleared her throat awkwardly. “The fact that you lost your quirk is really unfair.”

Togata remained quiet. Toru did as well, not knowing if she should continue or change the subject to lighten the mood. Hagakure Toru, known for her cheery attitude, was not known for her grace when it came to serious topics. She probably shouldn’t have brought it up. It was out of her own guilt that she felt the need to mention it, and now she was forcing Togata to think about it—

Togata stood up, leaving the bell toy in front of the cat, and sat at the table with her. His voice was uncharacteristically somber when he spoke.

“I won’t lie to you. When I lost my quirk, I thought it was unfair too. I’ve worked hard my entire life to be able to turn my quirk into something useful, and having all that hard work taken from me so suddenly felt like a slap in the face. Like a part of me was taken, you know?”

Toru nodded sympathetically.

“But you know what?” Togata said. “After a while I began to realize that no one can control what is or isn’t fair in their lives. We can only control how we react to it.” 

There was truth in the simplicity of his statement. Toru felt it in her bones every time she’d been dismissed, ignored by people who often forgot about her if she didn’t work so hard to take up space. Life was unfair, and the bitterness she felt in her heart about her own quirk probably wouldn’t go away for a long time. But stewing in hate wasn’t going to help her move forward either.

Togata continued, “I lost my quirk, maybe permanently, but that doesn’t change my purpose. Le Million’s goal is to save a million people. I don’t need to be a hero to do that. Every day that I help someone in need is another person saved, and I use that reminder to stay focused on the future.”

Toru thought about that. “Does that mean I’m another person you saved?”

Togata hummed pensively. “Maybe. But I think that asking for help means that you already did half the work for me. And now that you can do hero work more comfortably, you can save lots of people too!”

The smile forming on his face was infectious. She felt the corners of her lips turning up, hope lighting a fire in her heart that hadn’t been there a month ago. 

Toru put her hands on her hips, but kept a teasing edge to her voice.. “Don’t think that you can use my rescues towards your count, Le Million!” Toru retorted playfully. “If you want to save a million people you need to do it fair and square!”

Togata laughed at her joke—a full, exuberant sound that Toru found she quite liked. The conversation tapered off from there as her senpai located a lone Singapura cat basking in the sunlight a few tables down, but Toru was fine with that. Something told her that this was the beginning of a new chapter for both of them. 

The future was looking brighter for her already, and with a new costume and a new friend, she was excited to see the kind of hero she’d turn out to be.

39 notes • Posted 2021-04-04 18:45:52 GMT

#4

also, not to keep harping on the forced Tiola in the movie (but i will keep harping on it. forever. it was bad) but. in the books. the first time a male character had an impure thought about Viola in his Noise that he accidentally revealed in front of her he was promptly BLINDED in the following scene. just saying.

46 notes • Posted 2021-03-12 04:00:29 GMT

#3

full thoughts on the chaos walking movie? I want to hear more about it lol I haven’t seen it yet

it just...it felt like TKONLG but without EVERY GOOD PART, you know?

scene-wise, the closest individual scene we had to anything in the book was maybe the scene where Viola read Todd’s mother’s book to him? (even that wasn’t the same bc that was also the scene where we find out he’s illiterate, and he lets her read it right away, so there was no deep-rooted embarrassment about not being able to read). also it happened in Farbranch. BUT, like it captured the emotion of the OG scene a little, where Viola is reading to Todd and he’s hearing his ma’s words and getting emotional about it.

but all the stand-out scenes from the book, i.e. saying goodbye to Ben and Cillian, meeting the girl and getting hit in the head with a branch and bandaging her anyway, ALL of the Aaron fights, the bridge, the massacre of Farbranch, the song of Here, the Spackle, Todd’s illness, the waterfall scene, Haven, NONE of that was in the movie. so imagine all the really important and powerful moments gone

also all the overarching themes? those are gone too. todd becoming a man is  HUGE deal in the books. even in his horrible awful town he just wants to feel like he BELONGS and he’s the one person in the entire town being ostracized. two of the biggest secrets in Todd’s whole world are kept from him for the majority of the book because he’s “not yet a man”. it’s important to him. and once todd realizes the connection between Prentisstown maturity and murder, he spends the rest of that book WISHING he could be a killer. wishing he could have that kind of strength and seeing himself weak for not being able to kill. 

all of that?? gone. movie!Todd often chants the familiar “I am Todd Hewitt” (and sometimes “be a man”) when he’s nervous or trying to cover something in his Noise, and has a little tiff with Ben and Cillian at the beginning of the movie bc the Mayor sees Todd as a man while Ben and Cillian do not. (that’s a weird little bit though bc the movie never really explains why the Mayor had such an interest in Todd). but that’s about it in terms of coming-of-age material in the movie. and about murder. seeing as he doesn’t. kill. the. Spackle. let that sink in.

also like. the Noise is shown as a CONCEPT but not as a theme. the THEME of Noise is that, and I quote

“In this world of information overload, the ability to feel, my boy, is a rare gift indeed.”

or perhaps

“Knowing a man’s thoughts ain’t knowing a man.”

or even

“Knowledge is dangerous and men lie and the world changes, whether I want it to or not.”

in this movie, Noise would be described as like. a nuisance at worst and a superpower at best. you can hear most of every man’s thoughts in the movie, though not a constant, never ending stream. just just bits sporadically at either plot-convenient or comedic times. the Mayor (and at one point Ben, and at one point Todd) uses his Noise to construct illusions around people kind of similar to that Jake Gyllenhaal villain in Spiderman: Far From Home. 

but neither of these two main examples really SHOW the themes that Patrick Ness showed us in the books. that Noise is powerfully ANNOYING; that it can quickly break down relationships between groups of people; that it can be manipulated making large lies still possible.

like, remember when in the books, Todd and Viola get to Farbranch and poor Todd is absolutely GOBSMACKED that 1. the women are ALIVE and 2. the men and women are living together?? in harmony?? what the eff?? and you see Hildy in Tam’s Noise and just how much they genuinely love each other and Todd is like “damn we ain’t in Prentisstown anymore Manchee”. and you can just see based on the contrast that Prentisstown people are a whole different breed compared to the kindness of Farbranch?

in the movie Todd has a few moments of inner dialogue where he’s like “oh man that’s a woman. that’s nuts” and then we move on. his world should be turned upside down here and its not. and the difference between the two towns is that they kinda just made it seem like, yeah, Noise is annoying so we have the men sleep separately from the women so we all get a little peace, and it’s fine. that’s how Farbranch deals with it. it all just feels very blasé 

(i can’t remember specifically where this happens, probably either in Farbranch or cutting back to the Prentisstown men getting ready to march, but at some point a leader ends up saying something to a crowd of people and you can see how just one sentence spreads through an entire group of men and how they all start amplifying it and getting more and more panicked and i did think the mob mentality was cool. it reminded me of the beginning of The Ask and the Answer were the Mayor is addressing the citizens of Haven and you get that moment where the whole crowd flinches over the words of one man.)

and in all of this I’ve barely mentioned Viola. my wonderful girl. how they’ve massacred her story. god.

all of Viola’s development for the first half of the book is tanked from the start bc you SEE the crash, you see her stealing food from Ben and Cillian’s house (that’s the inciting incident of the movie), she talks to the Mayor in Prentisstown almost immediately after Todd finds her and his Noise helps everyone locate her, she talks to Todd a lot before getting to Farbranch after they escape Prentissown. the book does a LOT of work for Viola by having her mute and scared for the beginning and slowly showing how she comes to trust Todd. and how even after their incessent bickering in Farbranch they still choose to escape together because they know the army is after them specifically and they’re all the other has. that progression is really important in the book, as well as afterwards when we see how snarky Viola can actually be when speaking, how she thinks this entire planet is BACKWARDS and she can’t wait til her ship comes and shows them a thing or two about how to live.

movie Viola, well. she wants to find a way to communicate with her ship. she’s under the impression that since her scout ship crashed they’re gonna assume she’s dead and leave her behind. even though the Mayor brings up the settlers a lot after he learns about them, Viola curiously never really brings them up in any other context besides they need to come and get her. like it really made it sound like she planned on calling them, having them scoop her, and then they’d all just fucking leave, i guess. i don’t know what her end goal was besides CALLING HER PEOPLE which became the main point of the movie. the Mayor trying to find Todd and Viola so he could....use her to contact the ship?? that was also kind of unclear. and Viola trying to get to a communicator possibly so she could get the hell out of dodge. idk if that was her actual plan, but it was certainly what Todd was thinking, enough to where I was wondering if he was going to sabotage her mission in order to force her to stay (yeah. yeah. he had that energy about him and it was grosss)

and quickly, since all the animals couldn’t talk the way they do in the book, Manchee was more of a cute prop than anything. i could have gotten over it if he was useful in any way, but he never even like attacked a dude to save Todd or anything like that. so when he died it was sad on a dog-level but not a character level, since besides sitting next to Viola like twice while she cried he really added nothing to the story. also the shock of animal death was greatly reduced already since Todd’s horse that he used to escape Prentisstown from got a broken leg after he rode him off a cliff, so Todd used the knife (off-screen, thank god) to put him down. so Manchee getting killed was kind of lessened a little since my man Whiskey got nixed like 40 min earlier in the film.

this is getting long so I’ll cut it here since I’m gonna probably post about this a thousand more times. but yeah. if you watched it completely divorced from the books you would probably think “that was a cool concept but also what was the point of any of that” which is basically what most people thought based on the review headlines i’ve read. and if you are an avid book fan you’re gonna think you’re watching something else entirely.

58 notes • Posted 2021-03-13 22:50:09 GMT

#2

SoMa Week 2021 - day 2

Okay, so this is cheating because I didn’t technically write this for SoMa Week. It’s a deleted scene from a bed-sharing trope WIP that I’ll finish in the next thousand years, maybe. The tone of this scene didn’t quite match up with the rest of the story, but this scene is so exactly to my tastes as a hurt/comfort reader that I still wanted to share it.

So here’s a little something-something for day 2: Protect. 

                       __________________________________

There’s only one bed, but Maka unquestionably gets it because Soul can’t bear to see Maka lying crumbled on the ground anymore today. Or tomorrow. Or ever again. She’s sleeping now, fuck she needs it, and Soul is hiding in the bathroom because there’s nowhere else to go.

He needs to clean this place up before they get another fine for destroying a hotel room, but Soul’s still perched on the edge of the bathtub, struggling to catch his breath. He managed to keep his hands steady as he patched up Maka just an hour before, but now he couldn’t get them to stop shaking if he tried.

He thought she was dead. He thought she was dead.

He didn’t make it out of the battle completely unscathed either. There’s a thick piece of gauze taped to his cheek that will have to be changed later, and he’s almost positive he fucked up his shoulder in a way that will need actual medical attention when they get back to the Academy, but he can’t even fathom caring about himself when all he can picture is Maka lying on the ground, not moving, while the kishin loomed over her still form. Lying on the ground almost didn’t seem to cut it, because the ragdoll position Maka was in could never be mistaken as intentional. She was tossed on the ground in an unnatural heap and Soul doesn’t even remember the resulting skirmish between himself and the kishin, just the horrible, bloodcurdling thought that Maka was dead and it was his fault.

The paralysis hex that had been placed on her had been lifted as soon as the battle was over, but that didn’t stop horrible thoughts rolling through Soul’s mind like thunder. Maka could have died. He could have watched it happen. He wasn’t able to stop it, just act after the fact.

The ribbons of pink swirling down the sink drain are enough to make him sick. Maka’s alive, but the wounds she suffered from this one time that Soul failed to protect her outweigh just about every other bad thing in the world. Soul’s breath hitches dangerously high, and his sight begins to blur.

He doesn’t notice Maka entering the bathroom until she’s right in front of him. He can’t get his breathing under control, so he can barely get out that he’s sorry if he’s woken her.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Maka says, but she can’t mean that with the swelling on her cheek and the cuts covering her arms and the way she’s limping just to get closer to him.

He doesn’t want to cry in front of her, worrying her is the last thing he wants to do right now, but the tears are rolling down his face anyway as he squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head.

She wraps her arms around his head and pull him close to her, letting him thump his head against her collarbone.

“Everything’s okay,” she repeats, brushing her hands through his hair, soothing him when he doesn’t deserve it. “I promise, everything’s okay.”

He lets himself be soothed because he can’t breathe without her. Her stubbornness and her stupid battle strategies and her bad attitude are everything and he can’t stand that he almost lost all of that.

“Seeing you like that was fucking scary,” he murmurs into her. He doesn’t want to say it, but it needs to be said.

“I know,” she says quietly. God, she’s probably still tired. He tries to pull away, thinking if he rubs his eyes and looks away that maybe they can just pretend he didn’t have a panic attack and he can still be cool and aloof like always. But Maka doesn’t let him off the hook, bending down a little so she’s looking him right in his red-rimmed eyes. “C’mon, you need sleep.”

He lets himself be led by her back to the room, but almost throws a fit when Maka guides him to the only bed.

“No, there’s no way I get the bed today, not just because I had some crying fit, not when you’re hurt—”

She pushes him onto it anyway, still pretty goddamn strong for someone as hurt as she is. “Lay down.”

“Maka, I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can.” She paces to the other side of the bed and flicks off the light. With the shades drawn and the lights out, Soul can just barely make out her silhouette as she returns to the bed, pulling the covers back and slotting herself in next to him.

The air feels very still around him. With as little jarring movements as possible, Soul lays down in bed beside her. His only option is to sleep on his left shoulder, seeing as his right still feels like its grinding around in its socket, so Soul faces away from her to avoid further discomfort to both of them.

He can feel the awkwardness between them, but he also feels so bone-deep tired that he’ll have to give in to sleep despite the weirdness of the sleeping arrangement. His eyelids are growing heavier and his mind is growing cloudier, and it’s right when he’s on the edge of sleep that he feels Maka’s forehead press in between his shoulder blades. A heat-seeking missile in need of warmth, he assumes, until one her arms wraps around his middle until she’s all but pressed against his entire back.

She doesn’t say anything, which is probably for the best since any comforting words might make him feel worse. But her small hand bunched in his t-shirt makes his heart thump a little faster and his thoughts feel a little clearer.

He shouldn’t be allowed to feel this warm and protected, not with his shitty performance today and the new scars on Maka to prove it. But he allows himself to be comforted anyway, because the feeling of Maka holding onto him is enough to quell the storm still raging in his mind. They fit together pretty well, despite her knobby elbows and his long torso and the fact that this probably isn’t even a queen-sized bed.

The smallness of the bed is the only reason Soul can come up with for Maka staying this close. For him threading his fingers through hers. For her pressing her mouth to the nape of his neck. The heat from her melts the tension from his muscles, and the beat of her heart is music for his soul.

68 notes • Posted 2021-05-20 05:31:06 GMT

#1

The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness

can u believe the movie took two characters with such good chemistry and decided to have todd constantly sexual harass viola with his thoughts instead

76 notes • Posted 2021-03-12 03:52:57 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[roodllle]

Year in Review - Animal Crossing New Horizons

I started writing this review/criticism in May of 2020 but decided to update it as the year went along and post it on the anniversary of NH’s release. I would like to preface that this is mostly going to be full of questions of criticisms, I love this game. I have not been able to put it down since I got it on March 20th. My first AC game was NL and then I played HHD. I was ecstatic when they announced NH at E3 2019 and kept trying to find other games to fit in my AC shaped hole in my heart but I wasn’t able to fill it till this game came out. I feel like the pace of the game is great with how you build up to unlocking terraforming and 5 stars, and I feel like the updates are well timed especially with how crazy 2020 was for everybody. That being said there were some things that irked me. 

Some of the points I will bring up came from other people/commenters I have seen on here, Discord, Reddit, and Twitter that I also agree with. Some other points are from Youtubers such as ShayMay and ChuyPlays. And others are from me. 

With that out of the way, let’s get on with the review. Warning, I guess, don’t expect this to be an essay, this is just a patchwork quilt made up of thoughts.

Terraforming

I wish cliffs/tiers had a smaller level? Like how we’re able to make stepping stones for our rivers if we don’t want to put a bridge down/use our vaulting pole. I just wish there was a cliff alternative. 

Another cliff alternative would be if we could put bridges between cliffs. I think we’ve all been there where we see this picture 

          thought ‘we can do that!!” then realized it was photoshopped

When we go into terraforming, I wish a grid showed up on our island. It would make it much easier to avoid hitting the wrong square when I’m trying to change a river. 

Having us be able to “close” a waterfall from a lower level but not create a new on at the same spot. 

Also the fact we can add a 4th tier but can’t put anything on it is just strange to me. I know we have to have a limit to how high we can go, but at least let me put nature stuff, such as trees/flowers/bushes, on top of it instead of just a flat piece of land. 

Houses

Why no ceiling items? Find it odd they added a bunch of stuff in HHD and didn’t add that to the new mainline game

There’s no reason I can think of to why we can’t access our storage when we’re crafting inside our house. 

Buildings

Dodo Airlines

The Dodo Islands right now are very boring and barely use them. I have enough money and materials to not go farming and save up all my NMTs for when I go villager hunting, which has also become a rarity. I think it would be a good idea to make some islands seasoned themed. Have them be all rare, but have an island where it’s fall and has maple leaves falling, a cherry blossom one, one with snowflakes. I wouldn’t recommend they make Holiday themed ones, but having seasonal ones would be nice.

When I mess up a dodo code or accidentally hit ‘make a bridge’ instead of incline, etc. why do I have to restart the ENTIRE conversation instead of the characters just being “oh? did you mean “x” or “would you like to retype it?” like is it that hard??  

Resident Services

As much as I love Isabelle this game has made me very indifferent towards her. I think they gave her a role that didn’t need to exist. They could have either let us roam around without any warnings to who was roaming around our island, in the campsite, or any weather updates. Just have us rely on our villagers, the TV, and our eyeballs. OR they could have given us a social media like app and/or a weather app. Instead, they gave us Isabelle that only announces something once a month.

Nook’s Cranny

This might just be me but can they add a little DIY area in the store? Maybe just make to where you can only customize things?? This is more out of convenience than an actual problem  

Speaking of customization, since you can make medicine but also buy can we do the same for the custom kits and bait. Like make it where we can buy bait and also make our own custom kits? I just think it’s weird that they give us either/or for medicine but not for the other 2 that I honestly use way more than medicine.

Why do the Able Sisters get to have all of the colors of an item in their shop but Nook’s Cranny can’t? And why can’t we just be able to customize all items that have multiple looks/colors? Example, why can’t I just be able to change the wood type for the antique set instead of having to buy each one? I get that the furniture catalog is already small, but that’s not my fault. They’ve decided to not add past furniture sets into NH. 

Able Sisters

Let us multi select clothes instead of it just being how much we can wear. idc if it’ll just put those clothes in our personal storage and then we’ll have to run home and put it in that storage, I just hate having to walk back in and out every time I want a dress in multi colors. ALSO tell us if we already bought it, like a little storage icon or something

Why can’t we hang any article of clothing on the back wall, why do we have to either make it or have the OG qr designer come to our island? 

Why can’t we have the transparent option when designing clothes? I think it would make many designer’s lives easier instead of having to make 8 versions of the same outfit.

NPCs

I have played this game almost every day since it came out, minus 2 days. I have also been able to make friends on discord that help with trading/cataloging/etc. I have all of Saharah’s, Kicks’, Label’s, and Redd’s items. I have all of the fish/bug models I want and have no desire to “catch them all”. I haven’t talked to Wisp in months because I have most of the items and his idea of “expensive” is 10k bells. The only NPC I actively look forward to is Celeste because even though I now have all of her DIYs, she still gives out star fragments, regular large or horoscope, when I talk to her. 

What I’m wondering is if they’re planning on doing anything else with these characters. Before I speak further I’m going to weed out characters that I am actually fine with. CJ and Flick will always be there if I want a bug/fish model, I understand that Saharah/Kicks/Redd have a ton of stuff to get and w/o the help of my discord friends, I probably wouldn’t have gotten everything till late 2021. 

So that leaves Label and Wisp. I understand Wisp is there for beginners, but now that I’m at a point where I am a bell millionaire and have most of the Nook’s items cataloged, there is no reason for me to talk to him. I wish Nintendo had put in a system where depending on the person who Wisp is talking to, it determines how much money you have in your bank account/looks at your catalog, Wisp’s item’s worth goes up.

As for Label...I never saw her as viable. I also thought the tickets were dumb and you don’t even have to talk to her to have her items show up in the shop the next day. I think it would be great if when you bought all of her items, she decided to join the Able’s sisters in their shop like in NL and then have Gracie show up in her place for the weekly NPC. 

Where is Blanca? Or Brewster? Or Shrunk, Katrina, Gracie, or Kapp’n and his family? I understand we will probably never see characters like Harriet or Pete because they have been replaced by a new system, but what is the excuse for these other characters? I’m hoping they show up in year 2 of NH but...we’ll see.

Villagers

I think having your first villagers living in basic homes is a good idea but one that quickly gets annoying. I found Sherb while villager hunting for the 1st time and have had him ever since, but his house is stuck at basic lazy setup. Instead of me going back and forth on whether or not i should trust somebody enough to hold Sherb, get somebody else out, then get him to move back to my island, You can have it to where you let them leave, then just wait till he comes to the campsite to visit and reinvite him. You get his actual house and he still remembers you. This could also go for you accidentally letting somebody go or letting somebody go then regretting it. Also it’d be fun to see some old villagers again.

I was curious and looked back on past games to see how many new villagers were released each game and NH has been the least amount. NL released 112 new villagers in total while NH has released 8. I’m hoping they might release more down the line but, hella disappointing imo. Along with the Sanrio update and adding those characters to the game, I am more hopeful that they’ll be adding new characters!

Having an “event” of sorts where you visit a villager’s house and they’re looking inside their closet. They look at you in surprise when you walk in and sheepishly explain that they were going through their clothes/items. They then decide to ask you for help since they can’t decide what to get rid of/what to keep and think you have a good eye for that sort of thing. Basically, a way to get rid of any clothes/items your villager somehow received bc I guess Isabelle scolding them isn’t enough.

A big problem I feel like everybody has is the villager dialogue. Yes they added sub personality types for each personality but they are not perfectly cut in half, ex. are the Sisterly types where there are 4 B types and 20 A types, like?? How I have “fixed” this problem is by having one of each personality type on my island so I always have different conversations with my villagers, but I understand not a lot of people do that. Some people just want normal/peppy types on their island bc they’re cute as hell, I get it. I know it would be...difficult to come up with unique dialogue for all 399 villagers, including Sanrio, but....you could at least for the “gimmicky” villagers. Some examples of these villagers are Ribbot and Sprocket, Lucky and Ankha, the super hero squad, and Kabuki. 

Quality Life stuff

Why cant we sit AND wish on stars? And I don’t mean the sit emote; why can’t I sit on a bench and wish on stars?

It sucks when I’m about to hit my rocks or just do a lot of dig work and then my shovel breaks in the middle of it. To show the tool is about to break, cracks should start to form on the handle and get deeper/longer as you keep using it, starting when you have 5 uses left. You can also add an auditory element by making the tool sound like its struggling when you are using it. Net/Shovel/Axe/Fishing Pole can have cracks show up on the handle, Slingshot can have crack show up at the bottom of the 2 spokes while having 1 at the top of the handle. And the watering can have cracks at the base of the can.

If our inventory is full when I dig up a flower, why can’t I replace it with another flower to bury? And if I can dig up an item at an diagonal item, I should be able to bury it again at the same angle.

Other

Having more...liveliness?? on the island, idk how else to say it. Example is whenever you travel by plane there's a chemtrail in the sky afterwards, maybe just seeing other planes go by throughout the day. Maybe you can get a hint Redd or Gulliver will be visiting you tomorrow if you see their boats beyond the horizon, Redd’s just crusin’ and the Gulls’ boats looking messed up. On a week where you don't have a new camper, maybe have an old villager visit. That leads me too

I wish villager’s doors could count as “exterior decorating” and we can just put any ornamental on there instead having to hope that your villager will put the wreath on their own door. 

Conclusion

If you read this whole thing holy shit, thanks!! Go treat yourself on my part lol If you disagreed with me or whatever feel free to chat with me about it! 

[ichoriism]

@temporalobjects challenged: ♡ + jinwai and pinklei and samin... kyungcha?? lmao

jinwai

Who is the most affectionate? Jin, no contest. He is the one who puts his hands on Iwai frequently like placing them on his shoulders to get them somewhere, caress his hair, let fingertips tap Iwai’s cheeks now and then. The worst part is that his touching can be subtle and so soft because he’s not aware of the effect he can have on poor Iwai so— that’s their life in the future!

Who initiates the handholding? I was going to say Jin but no, this one goes to Iwai. Because handholding is a subtle display of intimacy, I can see Iwai being a bit shy/trying hard-to-be-casual as fingers skitter Jin’s way so he can hold his hand and it is so precious ;_;

Who worries more for the other? Both worry for each other but display it in different ways. Jin is transparent in his concerns so anything he wonders about he will be upfront with Iwai. Iwai may also ask but will probably try to find out more first—

Who is more likely to ask for help? Jin. He can be stubborn but he makes a point to ask for advice if the first attempt at something doesn’t go the way he wants it.

Who is the one always losing the keys? Jin— he can be a bit oblivious sometimes, specially when busy *sweats*

Who leaves little love notes for the other? Jin. He’s going to be the one to put cute little notes in Iwai’s lunch, coffee cup, you name it. But I think Iwai may write him things now and then too bc sometimes he has a hard time expressing himself publicly—

Who can’t sleep unless the other is there? Iwai. Once they get together, he’s gonna get so used to the warm piece of sunshine that the song "you are my sunshine” will resound in his head along with the part of “please don’t take my sunshine away” for the nights when Jin gets up to get stuff ready around the busy seasons. Iwai will probs get up since he can’t sleep and will make coffee for two uwu

Who is more likely to propose to the other? Jin. Though Iwai could also give us the big surprise if Jin decides to wait a bit to be a hundred percent sure Iwai feels entirely comfortable with him.

Who introduced the other to their family first? This is tricky because they met as children and Iwai’s parents know about Jin but! Not in the way Jin’s brothers know about Iwai so uwu Jin takes this one.

Who is more likely to play with the other’s hair? Jin. He is so affectionate he will constantly serve as a body pillow so Iwai can rest properly and will caress his hair until he falls asleep. All because Jin likes to see how pouty his lips become when he sleeps *heart eyes emoji on a different level my dude*

Who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated? Jin. Iwai will probably get a few extra kilos haha— it’s that curvature that develops when you get together with someone who expresses their love not only in the physical way but also with acts of service so— no escaping this!

Who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other? I think both do after reaching the commitment level. Right now, Iwai doesn’t have a reason to stand up for Jin so he may do it or not, I guess it would depend on how bad the thing would be? But yeah, once committed, it’s a it’s-always-two kind of deal c:

Who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other? Jin. He adores surprising Iwai so he'd be in charge of the small or big surprises c:

Who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things? Jin. It starts as a game of remember when we did this— and it becomes an adorable habit uwu

Who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch? I think both do. In the rare nights Jin is the one who falls asleep first, Iwai does it uwu and when it’s Iwai, Jin makes his way in the couch and cuddles him.

—

pinklei 

Who is the most affectionate? Pinky. I have no idea how she puts up with such a boring, clueless guy! She is the one who has all the humor and sunshine in this relationship tbh Lei is less than a moon– he’d be Pluto probably!

Who initiates the handholding? Pinky. Again, why does she put up with him, he is oblivious to the basics of romance come oooon! 

Who worries more for the other? Lei wins this one finally! He knows Pink is a capable woman and respects her too much to ever think she is dumb, but he also knows that sometimes she forgets important things like having an extra jacket, so he looks out for her in that sense, also providing the food/water, things human bodies need to function. He may be a social klutz but! He at least knows how to take care of Pinky’s health.

Who is more likely to ask for help? Pinky. Lei is too proud and stubborn in spite of his quiet demeanor so he would never admit out loud he needs help with something.  

Who is the one always losing the keys? Pinky. Being so energetic, it’s not that she forgets things but with all her moving around, she probably drops them often so Lei has the spare that becomes the unofficial only set of keys and he’s always accompanying her home.

Who leaves little love notes for the other? I think Pinky does this one. Lei doesn’t use a lot of words so his way to express love is even more scarce in the writing— 

Who can’t sleep unless the other is there? Lei, probably. Once he gets used to having someone around and holding her through the night, he will need that from there on to finally get some sleep.

Who is more likely to propose to the other? Lei. He sees this as his natural obligation? So it'd be him the one to bend the knee and propose. Half the hospital if not all of it will know about it because he’s going to ask how to make a proposal and what girls want from a proposal and yeah!

Who introduced the other to their family first? I’m not sure about this one but Lei may be the one. He hates his family because they represent that traditionalism and classism he despises but because he was brought up there, he can’t shake off these steps of honor and good manners ingrained into his brain.

Who is more likely to play with the other’s hair? I'm divided. Pinky is affectionate and Lei likes things that are soft and smell nice so I can picture him being happy playing with Pinky’s hair so! Both.

Who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated? Both do, but Lei may be more proactive about it by bringing fruit and water with him so when they are on their way to Pinky’s home, she has a snack to replenish her energy without messing her appetite for dinner uwu

Who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other? I think both are but Lei may be a bit slower on reacting than Pinky!

Who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other? Pinky— he has no sense of surprise, the only one he’ll give her will be the proposal night xD

Who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things? Pinkyyyyy. Because she is cute and Lei needs to be explained things like a child sometimes so, it works uwu

Who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch? Lei. During long shifts and all, he makes a point of checking on Pinky so when she is resting, he will always put a soft blanket over her before leaving quietly c:

—

kyungcha xD

Who is the most affectionate? Sacha, Kyungmin doesn’t stand a chance XD

Who initiates the handholding? I think it would also be Sacha. Kyungmin is too self-conscious to battle past that and be upfront about his affections physically. Inside the room, he’s passionate and stuff but outside from their nest? Yeah, not so much of an affectionate sweet thing ^^: 

Who worries more for the other? Kyungmin does. It’s not that Sacha doesn’t worry it’s more that Kyungmin is constantly worrying so that’s why!

Who is more likely to ask for help? Sacha, because Kyungmin is a dumbass too stubborn to admit when he needs help. Unless it’s about something manual-related like fixing things at home xD

Who is the one always losing the keys? Sacha probably, Kyungmin may be annoyed about this quite a lot so he keeps an eye on where Sacha placed his keys to remind him about it until he learns his habits and is all like, keys? yeah, behind your jacket. 

Who leaves little love notes for the other? I think Sacha would be the one but occasionally, Kyungmin will slip a few notes like “Fighting!” in his lunch box and stuff c:

Who can’t sleep unless the other is there? Kyungmin probably complains that Sacha is too big and warm but he really loves that, the hypocrite xD

Who is more likely to propose to the other? I think it'd be Sacha. Kyungmin is too afraid of disrupting something that’s already good even when he wants more so he wouldn’t want to push it. *like I said, dumbass*

Who introduced the other to their family first? Kyungmin did and it’s a total accident. Probably the whole family accompanied him to the orphanage when they realized he looked like he was in love xD

Who is more likely to play with the other’s hair? Kyungmin would do and not notice he's doing it until it’s too late. It becomes a habit uwu

Who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated? Kyungmin. He has the service-kind-of-love, so he makes sure to get Sacha good meals and there’s always either nice tea waiting for him on rainy days or fresh water in the fridge.

Who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other? Kyungmin would be quick to snap and defend Sacha but Sacha wouldn’t be too far behind if it’s a reverse situation, he just wouldn’t be vicious and violent like Kyungmin—

Who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other? I think Sacha would be the one after he notices that Kyungmin likes that kind of thing c:

Who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things? Sacha because he is a total sweetheart and Kyungmin can bitch all he wants about how this is ridiculous but he will take these promises to heart!

Who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch? Kyungmin. Again, little acts of service c:

[jthebeauty]

Jeeeeeeen! I saw that you said you were one the ace spectrum and I’m curious as to how you realize that? I’m questioning my own sexuality rn and a lot of info online is confusing to me LOL. You dont have to answer if you aren’t comfortable tho ofc!

hey nonnie :) ofc we can talk about it! i’m more than comfortable with sharing my story & experience. <3

cw: first kiss, kissing in general, sex talk, sti mention, children mentions, relationships. long post ahead.

growing up, i always naturally admired the romantic aspects in a relationship.

things like dates, breakfast-in-bed, writing love letters, holding hands, cooking meals together, taking silly photos together, (and all that other sappy stuff) really shaped what i desire in a relationship. fun fact; ever since i was 8 or so, i knew i wanted to spend my honeymoon in paris, france (the city of love they call it 😌).

i need to go back into my past a lil’ so you can see where i’m coming from & where it started. 😬 sorry if you get a lil’ uncomfy. 😭🙏🏽

so. i had my first kiss in kindergarten with a handsome guy; a handsome guy who i’d probably still be nervous around as adults. idk, i haven’t seen him in person since i was 14. anyways, i was five years old at the time & the memory of our kiss still runs in my mind here n there.

we liked each other again in grade 6 & we communicated via sticky notes (bc we couldn’t talk during the lesson). 😭 but yeah, he cared a lot about my feelings & always knew when something was up. he’d rub me on the back & talk with me to make me feel better— he was genuinely a sweetheart.

so at 11 years old, due to my “kiddy crush/relationship” experiences with that guy, i viewed relationships as something cute & romantic.

sex was never really on my mind throughout middle school unless it concerned p.e. (physical education). but if anything, p.e. most likely contributed to how i am today. in health class, we talked about sti’s n stuff & i just remember being like umm… if i were to have sex, it’d have to be with someone i know really well & trust. i still feel this way today.

all of that wasn’t planned though, that’s just how it naturally was in my mind— even with peers constantly discussing who did what with who and where around me. sex talk (& rumours of that kind of stuff) were always around me, yet it never interested me or sparked curiosity within me.

i didn’t know for sure that i was on the ace spectrum till high school.

i started speculating when i was about 15 or so (after i had kissed my best friend romantically… more than once). i was able to confirm this once i had my first serious relationship at 16– borderline 17.

i was always excited for the romantic stuff like dates, texting good morning/night messages, even taking polaroid pictures together (once again, sex or anything beyond kissing wasn’t really on my mind for some reason). we even used to call each other practically every day once school ended & we parted ways. real sappy stuff lol.

i also need to add that we didn’t date until we had known each other (as friends) for a good 9-10 months. i knew of my ex since grade 9, but we didn’t become friends until grade 10.

my ex isn’t the first person i have kissed romantically, but they were another person who i had kissed after having some sort of close friendship with (or else it wouldn’t have happened to begin with).

in conclusion, i was in a +2.5 year relationship with my ex. i take relationships seriously, as i’m not one to do flings, one-night stands, situationships, or hook-ups/sneaky links. they don’t interest me one bit & i honestly kinda forget those kind of things exist (i think mainly bc of the pandemic & i’m under the assumption that people aren’t going out as often as they used to).

looking over everything that i can recall from my life, i lowkey consider myself a hopeless romantic LOL. i often read erotic romance novels that revolve around forbidden romance, enemies-to-lovers & stuff of that nature. i was (& still am) obsessed with romance.

i can experience sexual attraction, i’m not completely disinterested in the idea of sex. i want to have kids one day & get married— it’s just a matter of who.

i came to the conclusion that i strongly identify as demisexual & graysexual. i bounce between the two bc i really can’t just pick one. and it’s more than okay if you find yourself in this situation too— you don’t have to pick one & stick to it.

when my ex & i were together, i did experience sexual attraction (bc we had an emotional connection/bond + romantic feelings), but the more we got settled into our relationship, the less those sexual feelings would pass in my mind. i’m the kind of lover that shows my love & affection by cuddling, talking, or helping my partner— stuff of that nature.

for me it was just a matter of thinking “would i do this with a stranger just because they’re attractive?” or “would i do a fwb situation with ____?” and the answer to those kind of questions would be no. i’m just not interested or appealed by the idea of doing things like that with someone who i’m not romantically AND emotionally involved with. the only way we’re doing that, is if we’re mutually romantically AND emotionally involved with each other.

i guess you could say that sex is something “special” to me as well. i just seriously can’t do it with anyone— not even if i find them attractive, it takes so much more than that. but on the other hand, i’m just more of a romantic person anyways.

irl sex is never really at the forefront of my mind & if it is, it’s gone within a few seconds of reflecting on it. in fact, i kind of cringe thinking on past sexual incidents with my ex… like my brain just won’t allow me to reminisce about them & i’m actually glad bc i just don’t feel like purposefully thinking about irl sex anyways. 😭

sorry for the long post! i just really wanted to be transparent with you. but the above is mainly why i see myself on the ace spectrum. it took me a good 4-5 years to come this realization, so i really do feel you nonnie.

if there’s anything you wanna know further, feel free to swing on by again or message me on discord (if you have me there). i really do wish you all the best in navigating your sexuality, it seriously can be reallyyy confusing (especially with the internet as you said).

sending kisses to you my love. take care. 😚❤️

[sanctuaryforalluniverses]

Hi! I want to start with saying I've been following you for a long time and appreciate this blog! I really hope I'm not coming off as rude by sending this. I noticed a recent post about a NYT article on the source of COVID19, and I'm naturally p skeptical of tumblr posts with just a headline bc of this websites... history. There are a lot of people whose goals are more to turn people against media, especially media associated with the left like NYT, so I thought you might appreciate a fuller look at the article (bc. i have a subscription which not everyone can access lol).

The first few paragraphs explain the headline, but I think it's important to note that it represents both "sides" of the issue, saying it is unlikely that the virus was intentionally created, but experts are looking for more thorough investigations.

Some other relevant information brought up: - Explains Dr. Shi's credentials, as well as cites other scientists praising her work, and cites from her statements multiple times (ex below)

- Explains the WHO's previous investigation and wish for more transparency, as well as other inquires into the lab. (the post stated, or at least heavily implied, that the article was the NYT trying to fit the recent statements from the Wuhan Institute into a sensationalist theory, whereas this article was reporting on the medical community's recent interests into investigation, as referenced below)

All in all I think that post was someone reading a headline without reading the article critically. In many ways it is reporting on people's mistrust and the opposing evidence, not trying to fuel it.

Again, I really hope this isn't obnoxious and if it is, feel free to delete it! I just thought it was relevant to other stuff you've shared, and you might have insight on it.

First, I'm so sorry I'm just now addressing this - I think Tumblr has decided to stop bothering to notify me when I get asks, and because I have ADHD and the memory of a cheese grater I never remember to check.

On the post, though... you do make excellent points, but the truth is that the original poster had a point as well. I spent more than a decade as a journalist (though not for the New York Times, true), and the original headline contained none of the nuance included in the article. I don't necessarily blame the writer - editors often do the headlines, and accurately portraying the story is seen as being far less important than dramatic, attention-grabbing headlines - but on a topic like this the headline is the strongest impression the story is going to give off.

Especially on the platform like the New York Times, which has a ludicrously vigorous paywall. I tried four or five times to screenshot headlines for literally any of the multiple stories (and opinion columns, which conveniently have no need for fact checking), but because I had apparently breathed wrong at some point earlier this month I couldn't even get to the screen that let me see the headline. When you bury the content that thoroughly, your headlines are even more important.

Especially because the New York Times absolutely wouldn't shut up about this for a solid couple of weeks. Now, one of the big secrets of the news industry (though I suppose it's not much of a secret) is that we get bored FAST and have NO SHAME. From what I can gather, there's no real story here - scientists have said "COVID probably DIDN'T come from a Chinese lab, but we don't know that for sure so hey let's spend whatever money we're not pouring into the military on this." That's, at best, one article, but

And I didn't even need to go past page 1. Now, once again I'm not allowed to actually read any of the articles, but a quick look at the headlines and opening lines suggest they're just the same information regurgitated in different formats. I'm sure it gets clicks, but that's not good journalism (also, they're resorting to rumor - the only reason to put "is said" in a headline is if you can't actually back it up and there's a chance you'll get sued).

Especially when you look at the one non-opinion article that popped up in the last month (which is suspicious itself, for the record - if they'd had a scrap of new information, they'd have written 6-8 more articles around it):

This is where it gets really interesting. According to usual headline rules, "Still No Direct Evidence To Support Lab Leak Theory" would be the most obvious headline to use here (or, let's be honest, in literally any of the above articles). And yes, this is an interview, but a Wuhan scientist is not a well-known enough figure in the U.S. to carry the weight of the headline (which is proven by the fact that they had to emphasize she was a virologist in Wuhan). Also, even though extra words are usually death in a headline, they specify that this person isn't just a virologist, they're a Chinese virologist (and therefore their opinion that there was no lab leak is of course naturally suspect). After the punchy, inflammatory list of headlines from above, the fact that this is the first boring one (and still manages to be mildly inflammatory) is suspicious as hell.

So, in short, you were right about that individual article and I in no way blame that poor writer. But the New York Times should be fucking ashamed of themselves.

[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoldretired]

alrighty! im gonna talk about my two new dr!ocs and some updates on sheon’s whole thing. remember they don’t have names yet adkaljasdkfa

SURVIVOR: the ultimate jazz singer. 

as mentioned, she’s the ultimate jazz singer. pretty subdued personality, but she’s the type of jazz singer who would just. scream into a microphone a la screamin jay hawkins. she is pretty neutral/friendly but disconnected in the prologue/first chapter/second chapter. she gets more jittery as the interactions go on. but once you get to the post-fte section of chapter two, that night she actually tries to kill the protag. at this point its revealed her big Angsty Backstory is she got involved with drugs through the music scene and is currently suffering withdrawal symptoms and is Super desperate (something ive seen a lot with my co-musicians and its not good) big breakdown, really delirious, will eventually be talked off the ledge and calmed down. kind of like if sayaka was actually calmed down in thh chap 1

just so happens that during the night whoopsy someone else was killed. so you two have an alibi but to reveal it means you tell everyone about her issues. either there might be a lying feature like in drv3 to cover, or you tell the truth and end up isolating her. for chapter three and most of four she will keep her distance from the protag bc she’s uncomfortable but will eventually reach out to be friends again after chap 4 execution. 

is generally pretty useful during trials, tends to be a person who tries to help calm down more emotional students and look at things logically. is good at trying to calm down the blackened once the protag catches their bluff bc she understands what its like to be desperate. she does, however, cry during/after every punishment. tells others not to speak poorly of their executed classmates. 

she compulsively chews gum, and one of her favorite gifts would be gum. jokes about having an oral fixation. during school mode she might joke about singing love songs but being so awkward about it in real life. really likes dogs, has a dog plushie in her room. 

a first two fte will focus on her health/wellbeing. the third she’ll ask to not talk about that anymore and the next three are just about general stuff. the final one she’ll basically go a little further into detail but the moral of her story is like, she’s not a bad person for doing what she did, no one is. she’s just a person. and it cn happen to anymore.

dresses in clothes more inspired by late mod/early 70s fashion. hoestly im seeing like a turtleneck/pantsuit combo. short curly hair. big heavy under eyelashes. 

MASTERMIND: the ultimate drag racer (ultimate cruiser)

ok but I LOVE him. personality wise he’s the story’s anxious character, think closer in personality to chap 1 shuichi. quiet, skittish, easily flustered, sometimes cracks jokes that fall flat. he’s framed for the chap 1 murder (someone died in a go kart accident, its assumed he sabotaged the other car, his argument is why would he kill someone in a race in front of all his classmates?) the protag obviously works hard to prove he’s innocent. after the execution he makes a promise to the protag that he owes him one big time, and while it seems innocent at the time, the wording should have like. a slight suspicious undertone. 

he’ll investigate weirder areas of the school instead of practical (sometimes he has clues sometimes not) and if there’s ever a mechanical question for a trial, you’ll generally ask him for clarification. he’s not very trusting of others and is often the one to accuse others/bring the information learned in trials back into the real world and make a big deal out of it. for example, he’ll make a big deal about the attempted murder in chap 2, and he’s the one who’s constantly accusing sheon of being a traitor

at first he seems like he’s just anxious, but obviously, he’s the mastermind, and he’s trying to tear the group apart. 

his fte he’s awkward the first few times but he opens up slowly, showing actual comfort/joy around the protag. wants to be close friends. offers to take protag go karting. while their personality is pretty awkward most of the time, there are flashes of an adrenaline junky every now and then especially when talking about cars, where he seems so full of life and drive it’s almost scary. very competitive during these times, his determination almost taking a sadistic glee when talking about beating others. of course he explains it as his cutthroat sport, but ya know...mastermind. instead of saying we’re going to survive he says we’re going to win. friendly towards the others but doesn’t really care about them focused on protag. is consciously trying to seperate protag from sheon.

for a mastermind he’s actually quite the empath and grows attached to his classmates, which he actually takes pleasure in the amount of despair he feels after each of their executions. reason behind the game is the adrenaline rush he feels, never has felt more alive than on despair. he discovered the rush the first time he got in a car accident, and the moments before his crash where like pure bliss. he wanted to let everyone else feel his feverish joy, and talks about how everyone has enjoyed this, deep down. they’re all getting their sick kicks. breaks the fourth wall and alludes to the fact that the protag (through the player) is having the most fun of all. 

final trial where it’s revealed, he’s still v attached to the protag in like an almost yandere way and wants to follow up on the favor he owes from chap 1. he offers a deal to the protag where if they’re welcome to be their accomplice in all this and get out of the game. protag should push to bargain that everyone can give up their morals, sacrifice themselves to despair, and live as the mastermind’s accomplice in exchange for ending the killing game. 

eventually, he’ll agree, but only if the group decides one life among them to sacrifice for no other reason than to kill an innocent friend. the way to get to the correct ending is to choose yourself which will like invalidate the deal. protag ends up dying and everyone else lives. leaves the mastermind in a despair, but for the first time, he does not derive any pleasure. 

takes a LOT OF GLEE in admitting he convinced everyone else sheon was the traitor when she was not, everyone else is horrified.

anyways. his school mode/love mode events show his more likeable side, he can actually be a really cute partner if it weren’t for the part he’s evil but uh. soft sometimes. 

really likes energy drinks. talks about sponsorships. color scheme is like. a black racing suit but his jacket is tied around his waist and he’s wearing a wife beater. tons of accents of neon all over his outfit from like patches and brand deals. backwards hat. blushes easily. has a mullet. i love him. 

“TRAITOR” : SHEON FUKUDA (the ultimate film maker) 

ok so. still antagonistic. but more in the way of pushing your buttons and pointing out your flaws in a trial. like somewhere between antagonist and kirigiri. super chill personality, cracks a lot of jokes, is hardcore struggling with the games and will be open about her mental illness. her fatal flaw is still her martyr complex

is first framed after chap 2 bc of accused of having the ability to direct and oversee a production like this, and from that moment forward no one can trust her and she’s SUPER alienated. she’s still awkwardly trying to be friends/friendly but people act like she’s going to betray them all. tries to prove innocence multiple times going as far as to beginning of chap 3 announce to the group if they need to kill anyone, let it be her so no one else gets hurt and is super transparent about who she is. but this transparency makes people more suspicious. as she goes on she gets more desperate/gallows humor. last convo bfore chap 5 begins she has a vague conversation about with protag about if they fear death. chap 5 would end up being either a suicide or double murder (they killed each other one in attack the other while being defended against) so there’s no execution but monokuma still wants something. its also in this trial that the ultimate drag racer plants evidence taht makes it look like she’s the traitor and is addressed head on. 

a common motif for her is ‘playing the role assigned’ and knowing who she is and who she isn’t. she’s pretty comfortable knowing who she is but expresses unhappiness about being painted a villain. maybe like, three times through the story to this point it’s established as a motif/quirk of fitting a role she’s assigned bc if the protag asks her a question about herself/past/the overall story, she asks the protag a question like well, what do you want 1) 2) and you choose and she’s like. ok. then its _______. same thing here. as she’s finally excused she stares at the protag and is like do you really believe im the traitor? (yes) stares long and hard, somethng sad and defeated in her eyes. ok then. i am.

the trial doesn’t have a punishment originally planned bc the blackened are not alive. but she chooses not to vote and willingly chooses to be punished because everyone else has decided she’s the traitor and she chooses to play along so they can get closure. her last conversation should be about choosing the act of resistance, no matter how convoluted it can be. she doesn’t fear death. the pain sure, but not death. this was her choice to be punished, not the masterminds, and she hopes they lose any glee they take in her suffering because its a sacrifice for hope instead of a death in despair. last request is that she asks for the protag to make sure the manuscripts she wrote during her time are published, the last great work of sheon fukuda.

EXECUTION: CULTURE SHOCK so she wakes up on a soundstage to blinding light. she’s attached with electrodes. monokuma is sitting on a director’s chair with a director’s hat. basically the premise is as the ultimate film maker, she has to recreate different iconic movie scenes and every time she makes a mistake she gets shocked. she keeps on getting thrown into new scenes into the middle of old ones, throwing her off. after a sequence of costume changes/farces she finally collapses in the soundstage. 

beat. she looks up. above the soundstage is a sign that says “congratulations” or something. everyone gasps. she believes she beat it. a single light comes on in center stage prompting her to take a bow. she stumbles over, stands up, and looks into the shadows in the general direction of her classmates. a teleprompter prompts her classmates to clap. she takes glee, soaking in her win, and bows. as she comes up she smiles for a second before a short rings out. she’s shot through the heart. culture shock!

fte are mostly talking about directors/film references and what its like to be a film maker. real dry humor, sometimes talks about deeper stuff. her backstory is that her dad was working for an american embassy so she grew up in america going to art shool, and she feels out of place, despite being a japanese student with the same basic culture as everyone else. sometimes talks about slimeball directors, sometimes talks about missing certain food, loves takling about movies. as a filmmaker she specializes in dark comedy/farce which makes her suspicious of how someone can enjoy writing somethng so twisted

views are very intersectional, a little new agey, but still well put together. clearly a free spirit, very quirky from working in cinema, super dry sense of humor. likes philosophy

really likes blueberry jam. favorite item is somthing blueberry.

after chap 1 trial she expresses to the protag how she can never be the blackened, not just because of murdering one student, but to get away with it, everyone else would be punished instead, and she can’t deal with the blood on her hands. 

is open about her struggles with mental illness and how she was getting help and showing improvement bfore coming here but now she feels herself spiraling and hates it.

values everyone here as good friends, and while she tries to play it off she hates how they’re painting her as a villain. takes every death very personally. 

color scheme is very pastel, and she wears sweat pants and a collared shirt with a light blue robe. you can’t tell if those are pajamas or an outfit. wears rose-colored glasses. all about the aesthetic, just lean so far into film culture with her. personality/feelings towards style are very influenced by the fact she went to an american arts school instead of a japanese school like her peers so every part of her is slightly off/quirky/out-of-touch

she’ll mostly wear the glasses over her eyes, sometimes pushing them down on her nose for emphasis to make eye contact. only her anger sprite (point) shows her taking them off. 

during her execution she pushes them onto her forehead before taking her bow, almost to meet eye to eye. after she’s shot the last frame is them landing on the ground, cracking. 

i love sheon so much

[an-avid-reader]

Prodigy (Legend #2) - Marie Lu

my rating: 4/5 stars

Synopsis of book 1 -

In a world where the Patriots, Colonies, and the Republic are at odds and there’s a plague in the poorer parts of the US, Day is an unstoppable street criminal with good intentions. When his family’s house gets marked by Republic soldiers, Day’s only thought is to steal a cure before his family member dies. June is a top student at Drake University—a prodigy. When her brother, Metias, gets caught in a cross-fire during a mission, June is fast-tracked to becoming a soldier. Her first mission: track down Day. As Day and June come from such opposite backgrounds, is it possible that their paths would’ve crossed otherwise? 

Link to Goodreads // Link to review book 1 // Spoilers (book 1+book2) in review below!

I haven’t read a trilogy in what feels like a really long time lmao; I think it’s because I’ve noticed that sometimes, the second book acts like a bridge book aka nothing really happens except for the last 50ish pages, which tbh just sets up book 3 (It’s like that one useless episode in a tv show that literally has nothing to do with the plotline). I’m VERY happy this wasn’t the case for Prodigy - if anything, there was even more action and more character (and world building) than Legend, which I much appreciated. That means that I also have a lot to unpack; buckle up!

I feel like the most natural place to start is from the stuff I didn’t really enjoy from the first book, specifically the world building and all the questions. It was finally explained that the Republic is essentially nonsense propaganda and the civilians are being fed false information--they aren’t winning the war, in fact they are losing! We also learned that the Colonies and the Patriots are two separate uh ‘groups’? And the Colonies fund the Patriots, but the Colonies are straight up left in the dark (and the Patriots were also hired by the Republic, but more on that later). I wanted to also briefly mention that when June and Day crossed into the Colonies territory, it was like a completely different world--maybe not better, just different. We also kind of get a glimpse into the history of the world--how climate change just absolutely obliterated the whole world. Which, tbh, I feel like if an ice cap near Antarctica (or Antarctica itself) were to melt, it would be more than just the edges of the US that would be underwater--it would go up to the Statue of Liberty’s torch :)))))))). Nevertheless, I really appreciated these explanations as it added more depth and also provided context for the setting, which I found was lacking in the first book (which, I get, you don’t want to overwhelm readers, esp in YA, with all the world building right away).

The other thing is that I wanted to know more about the plague, and Lu came through!!! So the plague is being used to try to create people as bioweapons, which makes me wonder if they were trying to clone those who were infected (or maybe just wanted to collect everyone who has a similar profile to Eden). I still have a few questions of the virus--like why did Eden and that other boy on the train go blind? Does the virus affect them on a genomic level?! I also find it hilarious that in LA they were quarantined for rioting--I feel like that pretty much just showed how weak the Republic is and how their power is no longer ominous (idk if that makes sense??).

Next, I want to touch on the characters and the character building (specifically June and Day, but others too!). I wanted to start off by prefacing that I’m not a fan of the love triangle vibes that we got throughout the books (and to be honest, the ending sort of pushed that narrative a bit further, which is not cool :///). So I’m not sure if it was Razor’s plan to cut communication between Day and June (on purpose) to prevent them from messing up the Patriot’s plans/to prevent Anden from becoming suspicious of June, but I found it so FRUSTRATING that they couldn’t communicate at least once before the assination (and I mean talk, not the signal bc that stirred up a lot of confusion with Day). Their separation really tested their relationship, but I also feel like there was a permanent wedge placed due to the lack of trust, and again, the ending just hammered that home. I will say, I really appreciate June and Day being completely transparent with each other when they escaped from the Patriots and got in the cave. It was like a necessary evil, but at least they shared relevant information with each other, which I believe strengthened their partnership, even if it took a toll on their relationship. Part of me hopes that they end up back together in Champion, but I know that it may not be ‘what’s best for them’, especially with that huge piece of information we learned about Day--that’s the one thing I’m mad about. They spill the beans in the cave but he can’t even tell June that he’s dying, instead he breaks up with her and then they end up kissing?? AH!

Now for those…...love triangles…. .-. Let’s start off with Anden and June. I’m not sure how I feel about Anden; Lu paints him to be this kind of heartthrob and well-intentioned guy but he’s also sort of naive? Like I get that his whole plan is to reform the Republic with the help of June and Day so that the civilians are on board, but I hope he realizes that there will always be people who are going to 1) resist him and 2) betray him. I really hope he isn’t as quick to trust people as he was with June (which maybe that was because his judgement was clouded). As for being naive...how did he not see June’s paperclip ring???? And to add onto that - how did the Colonies not realize that ‘Sarah’ is actually June???

I don’t know it just seems very unlikely that he didn’t see it considering that June was fiddling with it during their nice little dinner. And also the fact that he was always itching to see her. I didn’t realize, however, that Anden is only in his early twenties—he also lacks the edge that June and Day have, you can tell that he’s a poised person. While it’s great that he stands his ground on the Republic, I find it hard to believe that he isn’t a pushover (even just a tiny bit). Thus, I don’t really see how Anden and June could be a good match; I also don’t think class should play a role into whether or not you should or shouldn’t be with someone.

That sort of brings me to another point, which is the idea of the Priceps and the Elector itself. I have so many questions about Anden's plans, and they mainly involve him. For example, would there still be an Elector (and Senate) after the Republic is reformed? If so, would his powers be minimized, or would he have the status of President? For Priceps, it wasn’t very clear in the book that she doesn’t have to be married to the Elector, but it almost seemed that it was implied; could Anden have chosen to be married and have a separate Priceps? What if the Elector wasn’t straight? So. Many. Questions!! That whole Priceps thing is one of the reasons I couldn’t give this book a full 5 stars, again, it sort of has to do with the lack of information (or the amount of assumptions I have to make).

The next love triangle I have major issues with is Tess and Day, which Day is mostly uh turned off by the whole thing (which I can get behind) but Tess is just so stubborn and tbh pretty jealous, which isn’t cute. I really hope that in Champion they end up reconnecting, especially since Day is practically on his deathbed, but as friends. Maybe Tess will understand where Day is coming from with his feelings about June. Part of me wants Tess to end up with Baxter but I also really don’t like him?????? Agh this really sucks! I wish their relationship didn’t end on such a sour note. Like yes Tess, you were always there for Day (especially when he needed medical care) and ever since they got into contact with June (or rather, when June was sent on her mission), everything went downhill—but I mean, at some point Anden’s father would’ve passed, and maybe things would turn out to be in a similar circumstance, except instead of June it could be a different girl? The fact that Day still calls Tess ‘cousin’ and she still went ahead and kissed him just made me feel slightly uncomfortable?? No, they’re not biologically related, but given the amount of time they spent together, they almost could’ve been. To some extent, I feel like Tess had a huge crush on Day, but she never wanted to admit it until they were separated bc she maybe didn’t realize how much he means to her/she wanted that cheesy movie-like feeling where the two best friends realize that they are perfect together but beyond friends?? I do believe that Tess deserves someone great though, I just don’t think that Day is the guy for that :///

The last relationship-thing I want to briefly mention is Thomas and Metias’ relationship. I’m glad that we have some LGBT+ representation here, but at the same time, I can’t help but wonder if it was forced or not (like a checkbox Lu wanted to tick). I don’t remember in Legend when Thomas kissed June, if there was a kind of repulsion/it didn’t feel authentic. To be honest, I really thought that Thomas was into June, but when we learn he is gay (or maybe bi), it just didn’t seem to fit the story at all??? Upon this revelation, June racked her brain for memories of Thomas and Metias when they were young and oh it just happens that Metias never ‘brought back’ anyone/any girls home. Listen, I’m all for diversity, whether that be the character’s race, gender identity and/or sexual preference, I just don’t want it to come off as the author just ‘checking off a box’; I’d rather it be genuine (even though it’s a fictional story!) For all I know, Lu may have planned this, but to me it just came off as an afterthought, that’s all :/ (and @ Thomas, just because you love someone and it shouldn’t be allowed bc of your ranks, it doesn’t mean you have to kill them even if CoMmAnDeR JaMeSoN said to).

I wanted to also talk about characters—more specifically Razor, Commander Jameson, Baxter, and Kaede (rip). So um I guess we’ll start with Razor aka the biggest con man there ever was. Well tbh I kind of found him fishy, just like June did from the get-go, I just didn’t think it was going to be that…bad??? This goes back to Lu’s foreshadowing—which I would say it improved as I wasn’t able to fully guess what was going to happen—she drops p obvious hints left, right, and centre, you just don’t see them until the events unfold; what may seem like a small detail (i.e. Commander Jameson in Razor’s room on the ship and Day (as a disguise) bumping into her) will end up being part of a bigger plan, so to speak. Part of me wishes we had a peek into his mind to see what he thinks like, and if he has more motives, besides just being “hired” by the Senate to assassinate Anden, maybe Razor has a personal vendetta?? I also definitely suspect that Razor and Commander Jameson may or may not be a thing *side eyes*. I’m excited to read Champion to see how he will stand up against the Elector / the Republic, and whether the other Patriots will stand by his side or if they will turn against Razor--especially because right now he’s in jail, but I doubt he will stay there for long! (which can someone explain why Razor and Commander Jameson only got charged with treason??? They almost flipped the Republic on its head). 

Speaking of Patriots...there’s Baxter, which I don’t know where he stands. I think he’s definitely jealous of Day / the fact that Tess has feelings for Day even though he doesn’t reciprocate them. Just a dash of jealousy. But he did predict that Day would betray the Patriots, which makes me think that Baxter may have a part in an uprising, but maybe there’s a chance that he’ll see the whole story. Part of me also highly doubts that he’ll be rational; he seems to be someone with a heavy confirmation bias--I wonder if he knew that Razor was hired by the Senate or if it just went over his head. What if he’s the main villain in Champion o.O him + Tess would be interesting, especially Day does a last hurrah. But anyways, Baxter was just so arrogant, and I could feel Day’s own disappointment when he did exactly what Baxter had predicted. Yeap, there’s definitely going to be some tension that needs to be revisited. 

Last and certainly not least, Kaede :( I’m a bit annoyed that she’s dead. It’s yet again another thing that could be used against Day (specifically his relationship with June; anything that comes near them dies). We got to learn so much from Kaede, and before we knew it, she got shot. It sucks because I think she seemed like a reasonable person and she always remained level-headed. She’s not one to judge quickly *cough cough Baxter cough cough*. Even in Legend she had her kick-ass moments, but she really saved them from the Colonies and how June and Day can’t really repay her unless they keep on going with their mission. Not cool to just kill her off like that though. 

What I loved from this book, besides the character growth and the depth of their relationships with each other (especially on trust, or the therelackof), I liked how this book is just action-packed. I find with the second book in trilogies, we have a plan with a clear end goal (in this case, assassinate the Elector), and that plan just gets adjusted over time as we uncover information until it gets to the end of the book. Here, that main event ended up being smack bang in the middle, which isn’t something we see very often. It left more room for the story to develop and to allow us to really dig deep into the story, which I much appreciated. At some parts, it almost felt like a rush, especially as the story unfolds and with so many characters to consider--it was a page turner! I’m not really sure if I enjoyed Prodigy more than book 1, as I mentioned, I didn’t really like the love triangles and then Anden is just too naive for me to take him seriously. There were also some cliches (I let go of the breath I didn’t know I was holding), and honestly, I was not a fan of the ending! I think that’s the main reason why I can’t rate this higher than Legend to be honest. At least with the first book, there was enough closure that could give us a starting point for book 2. Here is was...let’s break up lmao jk also I’m not going to let June know that I’m dying, peace out. 

This review is getting a bit too long lol, and I’m sure there’s something I forgot to mention, but overall I really enjoyed this book. The action, the intensity, the revelation of information and Lu’s foreshadowing make Prodigy a book that’s hard to put down. The characters’ dynamics are all over the place, which just adds to the chaos, but in a good way--it makes the story that much more interesting. I’m patiently waiting for book 3 from overdrive, so I’m not sure if I’ll be able to read and review it by next week--I’m itching to know what happens next! [Please, let both of our main characters live  p l e a s e]

I’d love to know your thoughts and opinions on Prodigy! Did you enjoy this book, how would you compare it with the rest of the trilogy? Let’s chat =D

Thank you for reading my review, I hope you are having a good day, wherever you are in the world!

~ Cassandra / an-avid-reader