#(I do know that I'd fix this and then get frustrated with something else lol. but right now it's the one I hate)

[girlscience]

been drawing more and I get so frustrated, not with my skill level, but with my style. it's such a mishmash of so many things and it doesn't go well together at all and it makes everything look wonkier than I think anything else. My anatomy and posing and line weight and coloring and everything is not super high quality, but has significantly improved over the past couple years (imo at least and that's all that matters lol) and I know it will continue to improve the more I draw and practice!! but I have seen zero change in my style. It's this super unfortunate middle ground between realistic and anime and kind of cartoony and it doesn't work at all. And I cannot figure out how to change it

[ashen-char]

back and forth

ship: max fox (better things) x gender neutral reader, though fem reader or paisley pov implied

warnings: mentions of a minor/adult relationship that was present in the show. fuck arturo!

summary: all max's boyfriends ever do is make her miserable and doubt herself. but you think your best friend is amazing.

word count: 1100+

notes: have some yearning :) inspiration/request is here

Max's boyfriend is an asshole. You've hated all of them, yeah, but this one pisses you off more than even the others did. Well, maybe except for Arturo. That 36 year old creep was the worst. You watched as Max was mesmerised by the man's supposed maturity and the thrill of dating someone so much older but she still 'clicked with'. Every time you saw them together, it infuriated you. You hated hearing Max go on about how he made her feel special when, in reality, he was just manipulating her. He wasn’t interested in who Max truly was. Not like you are.

From your spot on her bed, you watch as she paces back and forth, phone clutched tight in her hand.

Max had invited you over as she got ready for her date, pouring her heart into her makeup's little details, making you pick between her outfit options again and again. She looked beautiful in everything. Obviously. But now, an hour later than when he said he'd show up, he's looking like a no-show.

"Alright, come here," you say, holding your arms out. Max looks way too anxious and he doesn't deserve that. Not a bit of it.

"Wait, let me just-" Max taps out another text - a "where r u? lol" - her bottom lip tucked between her teeth.

You see her hand start to shake, her knuckles whitening. He's left her on read again. The look of frustration and hurt that etches across her pretty face makes your heart ache. You've seen this scenario play out with every boyfriend she's had, but this one infuriates you most. He never seems to appreciate her, always making her feel small and ignored. It's chipped away at the self-esteem and growth that you've watched Max painstakingly earn.

Max finally sits down beside you with a heavy sigh, her shoulders slumped in defeat. “I don’t get it,” she murmurs, eyes fixed on her phone screen. “Why can’t he just reply? Even an excuse would be something. It’s not like I’m asking for much.”

It's like when her dad couldn't be bothered showing up for her graduation. Max was shattered. You hate seeing her ask for less and less when you know she deserves everything. And you resent the men who can't even be bothered giving her the bare minimum. That they don't even know what they have.

Your hand reaches out to grasp hers, stilling its shaking. She's warm. Soft. The touch sends a shiver down your spine. You're half hopeful that she realises you've always been here and half shit-scared that she'll finally figure out how much you care. So you avoid her eyes. You hate seeing her like this.

"I'll break his fingers next time. Give him a real reason not to text back," you say, hoping the bitterness sounds more like a joke.

She laughs. You'd do anything for that laugh.

But then she looks at you, eyes filled with unshed tears, and it breaks your heart. "Maybe I'm just too much," Max whispers. Her honest fear, not just in this relationship but in life. "Too needy, too intense. Maybe he's right to ignore me. I mean, that'd explain the others too."

But you don't let her joke this away. Your hand squeezes hers, a silent showcase that you're here. That you've never ran. That she's not too much, not for you, not for everyone else that loves her. "No." She doesn't know how awesome she is because of shitty guys like Arturo, or Harvey, or her fucking dickhead of a father. "You're fucking amazing, Max. You're passionate. You care so deeply. Everyone who is loved by you is so lucky." 

Max squeezes your hand, offering a small, grateful smile. “Thanks,” she says softly. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

For a blissful moment, you pretend those words mean more than they do. Pretend that she'll finally see you as more than a friend, that she finally gets it. You’ve always been there for her, a constant in the chaos of her relationships and self-doubt. When the moment passes, you swallow that bitter pill that Max doesn’t know how deeply you care. You hate every one of her boyfriends, not just because they’re not good enough for her, but because none of them see her the way you do. They don’t see her strength, her vulnerability, or the way her eyes light up when she talks about something she loves.

You take a deep breath, deciding to take a risk. “Max, you deserve better." Sincerity, for once, rather than a joke so you could more easily brush it off as platonic. "Like, you're incredible." You gulp. These next words, you'd normally hold them back but she needs to hear them. You can see her vulnerability in those big brown eyes of hers. "I hate seeing how he makes you doubt that."

Max looks at you, an unsure, fragile expression crossing her face. Like she's apprehensive to believe it. “Do you really think so?”

“I know so,” you reply, your voice steady. “And one day, you’ll see it too.”

In that moment, Max’s phone buzzes, and her eyes dart to it as a reflex. You see the flash of disappointment as she realises it’s not him. But then she looks back at you, smiles, and throws her phone on the bedside table.

"Yeah, fuck him. I don't need him to have fun." Max's arms go to wrap around you, head nuzzling into your chest. "Thank you."

Her fingers tangle in your hair, playing with the soft strands of it. She's in your arms just like you've always been desperate for her to be. It aches. But it's the best you've ever felt. A niggling worry tells you that she'd hate you for wanting more. For thinking about kissing her right now.

"You're welcome, Maxie," you say. Because this is enough. Being her friend could be enough no matter how desperately, how passionately you burn for her.

Already dressed up, Max drags you along on a day out.

Every smile makes your heart skip. You love how you could always cheer her up, love how much Max brightens up every room she's in. You two walk hand in hand to a nearby park, one of Max’s favourite spots. The sun is shining, and the air is fresh, and you hope it's the perfect pick-me-up to help her. Strolling along the winding paths, the best thing about loving your best friend is that you can talk about anything and everything. You make her laugh with your terrible impressions of people you both know. The sound of her laughter is like music to your ears. You try not to think about how none of those men could treat her like you would.

Maybe, just maybe, she’ll start to understand how much she means to you. And until then, you’ll keep being there for her, hoping that one day she’ll realise you’ve been the one all along. You know you'd never say a word though.

[mylovelies-docx]

I absolutely adore 'Sorry, I love You'! 💖💖💖 This isn't a request, but would you consider writing a chapter or something from Bucky's perspective from right after she left the first time? I just want to see people lay into his ass about how he's acting like a dumbass lol 😆 Thank you for sharing your writing with us all!!! 💖💖💖

I love the idea of y'all roasting the shit out of Bucky for being an idiot 🤣

I do have a future chapter that's written from Bucky’s POV and I think it mentions what he was up to while Reader was gone, but I don't think I wrote anything specific.

______________________________

My HC is that everyone was super pissy with Buck-o for quite a while.

Sam's constantly saying things like, "well, if Y/N were here," and, "why did she have to leave instead of you." "Shut up, Sam." "I'm just saying. I'd rather hang out with her than put up with your sulking."

Nat would constantly be glaring at him and giving him the silent treatment except during training. She'd be giving him shit while landing hard hits to very sensitive areas. "This is for Y/N," and just absolutely rockets her foot into Bucky's groin.

Steve tries to be supportive for his life-long friend, but sometimes he just gets so frustrated with Bucky. "Didn't you talk to your therapists about this? Why haven't you called Y/N to aplogize?" "I'll apologize when she's back, Steve. This isn't something to say over the phone." "... and if she doesn't come back? What would you do then?"

Wanda is younger and nicer than everyone else on the team, so she's not going to be outright rude or try to rock the boat. But Bucky notices that any food she prepares for the other Avengers have cute little smiley faces or fancy toothpicks holding it together but his are plain in comparison.

Tony just absolutely despises Bucky again at this point. Tony really saw you as his younger sister/surrogate daughter and it's all Bucky's fault that you're gone. FRIDAY is constantly locking Bucky out of his bedroom, blasting music at 3am right after he finally went to sleep, and the temperature is always super uncomfortable in his bedroom. Bucky has asked Tony if this was his doing, but Tony never responds.

Bruce, Thor, and T'Challa are away and don't know what's going on. They live on in ignorant bliss of Bucky's assholery.

Bucky finally has to set the record straight with everyone and tell them that he's been working on himself and he feels really really bad about how he treated you. He tells them that he's going to fix it and make everything right with you again. They believe him and lighten up a little. When they figure out that Natasha can't go on the undercover mission with Bucky, he's the first one to suggest bringing you back into the project. Everyone's a little hesitant about throwing you two together again after such a long time, but they're confident Bucky is going to come clean and talk to you.

... Unfortunately they don't realize just how stubborn you both are when it comes to your feelings. You've been burned before and don't want to be hurt again, and Bucky can't quite express himself the way he needs to in order to make you see him as you once did.

[willowser]

ahhh imagine after the confrontation and everyone in the villa is feeling the intensity, katsuki most of all who's probably in a corner somewhere brooding, just stressing about how he’s gonna lose you!!! maybe you guys end up taking a break or not really speaking to each other for a day or two, until he's literally at his breaking point (kiri probs isnt making the situation any better since he's been trying to comfort you- because that's just who he is but katsuki becomes even more frustrated with both himself and the situation).

how do you think he'd resolve it? I'd love to see your interpretation of how he'd handle such a tricky conflict, i mean obviously he just really cares about you but how does he show that??? on national tv??? with everyone being involved??? honestly I get where he's coming from because that seems nerve wracking even for me lol

adore your writing btw <3333

aahh, friend !! 🥺 i think he literally sits by himself, tearing up the inside skin of his lips, about to pull his hair out !! 🥺 and you're so right !! kirishima is absolutely trying to make things better, because he's just a sweetheart 🥺 and he's not even trying to make a move or anything; he's just sitting with you when you're all alone, finding little things to do to make you laugh 🥺 and you're wearing no make up and hiding behind mina's overly large sunglasses, just sitting in the sun and chatting with him, because he cares ! he even feels bad, of course, but he's admitting in the one-on-one/confessional,

"i didn't realize it was gonna 'cause this much of an upset, and i hate that i'm at the head of that," he runs a hand through his own hair — which is down and soft, and stares at the ground for a moment, chewing on his own lip as he thinks. "not a good sign for him, though, this is the worst way for him to act, if he really wants to keep her."

and mina is probably telling you, too, like very quietly as you're getting ready for the day, "that's not okay. you can't be with someone that's gonna freak out over stuff like this and won't even let you explain yourself. you didn't even do anything wrong, you know that right?"

and you do 🥺 you just have no idea what to make of the situation 🥺 or how to fix it 🥺 kirishima shares a bed with sero so that you and mina can share the extra for a few nights, and you miss him 🥺 he doesn't really do anything, doesn't really talk to anyone for a few days. just thinks to himself, on what he's done and what he's gonna do 🥺 doesn't talk in the confessional, just sits in the chair with his arms crossed and his head leaned back, eyes closed 🥺

and then one day — he's awake before everyone else like always, and you come to early, with him kneeling on the ground by the bed, gently shaking you by the shoulder, askin', "y'wanna come outside with me for a minute?"

he's made a whole spread of breakfast for the two of you, plated some up at the bar at one of the stools, cup of morning tea included. you tell him it smells delicious and offer him a tired smile, because you're nervous, and you watch the muscle in his cheek jump as he grits his jaw. it's not until you're a few bites into the food that he speaks, fiddling with a napkin, staring at the counter with a frown.

bakugou starts with a heavy sigh, shaking his head like even he can't believe what he's done. "i jus'—fuckin' panicked."

it opens something for him, then, when you reach across the bar to stop his fingers from their anxious drumming, intertwining them with your own.

"i dunno what i expected when i came in here, to get fuckin'—kicked off in the first week, maybe," the furrow of his brow and the down-turn of his lips, the tension in his jaw are all anger, but not at you; the impatience he has for himself is clear as day on his face. "i know what this shit is, but i jus' didn't think i'd—you—"

when he sighs again, full of frustration, you scoot yourself off the stool, frowning. he looks at you for the first time as you come around the counter, staring down through his long, dark eyelashes as you wrap your arms around him, as you rest your chin on his chest.

"i ain't ever gonna be some shitty-haired nice guy," he has yet to return your hug, you notice, instead just frowning at you with his arms at his side. "and if that's what you want, then—you should go after it, or whatever."

"and what if i want a shitty-haired tough guy? hmm?" you press a smile into the center of his chest, nestling into the softness of his hoodie. "one that drags me across every obstacle course in his way and dives headfirst into wedding cake after wedding cake. that makes me tea and breakfast every morning." again, you watch the clench of his jaw, and the fear in his eyes melts down into something warm between you. "that doesn't shut me out because he's scared and lets me speak, even if he thinks he doesn't want to hear it."

the weight of his arm at your back is comforting, as he tugs you a little further into him, humming. "think that's doable."

"oh, y'think so?"

"'m sorry," he tells you earnestly, quietly, resting his forehead against yours gently when you smile. "make me all crazy, 'cus i just—fuckin' like you, or somethin'."

"i know," you smile again, pressing a kiss to his mouth when the corners quirk up, leaning further into him when he insists on another, and then another. "it's something like that for me, too."

[miggylol]

hi! do you have a routine or anything when it comes to writing? what do you do to reach your word count goals (besides just like... write, the obvious answer lol)? i've been setting goals using writetrack but failing miserably at each one, oops.

I thought about this for a minute, and realized that my actual answer feels like it's to a different question.

For a starting point, something that helps me a lot is that I use Scrivener and make use of TONS of individual documents. Like, here's my current in-progress project:

I organize them into chapter folders, so there's some formal structure. But then I actually use the document names themselves to put together an outline of how the plot will flow in a very basic, loose, non-constricting manner. I find that allows me room to innovate and have fun later on, while still forcing me to identify in advance which plot beats must happen.

Like... in this piece, it's important that a certain piece of clothing is discussed before Some Asshole starts causing trouble. So I just titled a document with "pants fixing scene" and dropped it into the right spot in the line-up. Bam. Since the document is there with its title staring back at me, there's no way to overlook this plot-vital element.

I didn't write the scene, plot out where exactly it'd be set, or specify any other details that might make sense during early, sweeping plotting work (but would only be a source of frustration by the time I got to actually writing it). I just created a document, called it "pants fixing scene," and tossed in a handful of explanatory words into the document itself so I'd later remember what I meant by that, lol

I actually just wrote that scene two days ago, after knowing for months that it was important. And... in terms of setting, it ended up being nothing like I expected it to be! I got inspired to do something else with it that ended up making more sense. But it still happened in the right rhythm for the overall plot.

SO, my two major recommendations would be:

Know where you're going, but don't overplan. It's hard to write if you have no idea what's coming next. It's also hard to write if you're trying your best to stick to a blueprint with teeny tiny details that are 50k words out of date.

If you basically know where you're going, then that also means that there are tons of different sights to see and anticipate along the way! I generally try to work in order, but sometimes I am just STUCK with the dialogue, etc. that needs to happen to achieve thing happening right now, but get inspiration for thing happening in a couple days' time. So I just jump ahead and write the latter. The plot beats you've identified have gotta happen at some point, so why not when you're feeling inspired to do so?

(This is way way easier with Scrivener, but it's certainly not necessary. You could take the same basic approach with Notepad. Just drop some barebone plot bullets into plaintext and start writing under the appropriate one.)

The times when I just can't get writing done, it's almost always not because I haven't set enough reminders, blocked out enough time, or other out-of-story things like that. It's because the words just don't want to flow, because I haven't structurally set myself up to let them flow.

I hope at least part of that helps!

[sunset-peril]

Villain here. Yeah fr. I was kind of a jerk in my post/tags but only because (especially on that day) I was quite frustrated and fed up of the "m*phlink happens in aoc" "um aksually m*phlink is canon in aoc ☝""zelink can never happen in aoc" arguments I kept seeing online in various places.

I do understand wishful thinking and all but it has felt like nobody saying these things actually played the game (or watched the cutscenes all the way through), just purely repeating what others said and running with the fact the champions are alive while ignoring the actual content presented in hwaoc.

Like, if I was a writer setting out to make m*phlink canon, I would not give her a single scene of focus (her introduction) and then have her in the background for the rest of the game, while writing zelink scenes like that castle hallway moment that feel pulled straight from a fan's pre-calamity zelink fanfic lol. Koei Techmo/Nintendo's intent seems pretty obvious (especially since they went and added an entire extra zelink montage in DLC content), so I really don't know how "m*phlink canon in aoc" became such a popular idea?

There's also the robot in the room: Terrako. The name means "earth child" and becomes glued to both Zelda and Link as if they're his parents. I mean one of the DLC scenes even makes them both look like out-of-breath parents who have been searching high and low for their missing toddler (the comedy of the moment being that Terrako is actually more than fully capable of handling himself and they just missed the intense battle that happened)

NOTE: If anyone decided to reblog this, please do not add any ship tags for anyone. That's gonna be my policy moving forward for content like this.

~~~

Completely and entirely understandable. No judgement here. Can't judge actually, I'm a problem sometimes. I've been guilting of misinterpretations too. I had my crap called on my characterizations of Rhoam called out this year, and I've had to revisit both BotW and AoC to fix it. If I blocked everyone who had One of Those Days where they decided to pick a fight against the Fandom, especially for a mischaracterization, I'd be blocking all my mutuals, a lot of people I respect in the Fandom, and also I'd be blocking myself. We're human it happens. So long as you don't endorse being a butt.

I lose my lid on misinterpretations a lot more than I really want to admit. Especially when they have that real coercive wording of "accept the thing as canon or else," or just refuse to acknowledge itself as a headcanon, then get butthurt when they are (very politely or gently) fact checked by someone else. Both of which could have been entirely avoided if people were upfront with whether the Canon had been regarded or not (which is usually what sinks my battleship).

I've sniffed both ends of the skunk (does that saying work?) concerning this whole mess with AoC and BotW and all that jazz just from fic writing alone. Having ZeLink be canon and have there be a true reason for the Zora Armor's existence? Yikes. Piss keyboard warriors on both sides off. (the gist of it being that Link was part of a dying sub-tribe to the Hylians and agreed to an arranged marriage to Mipha to prevent himself from having to commit inc*st, however, Mipha was clear that she knew Link didn't love her and that he only agreed in order to save his sister, and also willingly dissolved their contract when he fell in love with Zelda instead. But that's another post)

But I'd never try to coerce someone into accepting that as the reason for BotW's semi-confusing set up. For all canon purposes, I blame the Zora themselves for not critically thinking about Link's current situation, and believe that they may have been unintentionally manipulative to him simple because they weren't really thinking about Link's complete absence of memory/sense of self. Yet again, not something I'd force somebody to believe as canon. And emphasis on "unintentionally," because I really don't see malice in any of them. Especially Sidon (and whoo, he's a whole other dumpster fire)

As someone who would easily place Age of Calamity into the My Top 3 Zelda Games (shoot me, I know), I've spent a stupid amount of time analyzing that game. The idea for ZeLink being pregnant at the time of Calamity innocently enough came from me and my cousins analyzing the game together and actually making fun of the sheer waistline difference between the white Prayer/Priestess Dress and her pre-Calamity armor. And don't you know that would make people boil if I tried to present that as canon 😂

I fully believe Terrako is 10/10 intended and written to be Zelda and Link's "son." But I wouldn't use any fanon discourse to try and prove that. I don't think I need to with the game in hand. There can be a bit of "stretch" I think that ZeLink fans pull in determining how early in the game Terrako "decides" Link's his dad (I don't believe this happened in the cutscene where Link defends Zelda from the Yiga and Terrako beeps a ton and kind of bites at his ankles, which is where I've seen a lot of ZeLink-ers say it happens). But to me there's absolutely no doubt that Nintendo and Koei intended for Terrako to be their child. And some fans' decisions to try and define One Instance™️ that Zelda/Link/Terrako became one family doesn't detract from the fact that the game heavily appears to be going in that direction. I mean, Zelda is clearly his mom, don't need a degree in Nintendo to figure that one out, which raises the question of why Terrako is almost always following Link around instead of his "mom." I also won't force people to accept that if they don't want to, as long as they at least acknowledge what the canon is actually saying and not what their fanon desires. Points for the newbie fans/offline fans for that one because they're not in this discourse mud all the live long day! (I also watched the Restoring Terrako cutscene again to make sure I'm not accidentally lying, and when Terrako wakes back up and recognizes Zelda, Link does that nod + very slight smile thing that he does to Zelda when Calamity is defeated. He nods a lot in the game of course, but I think those are the only two times he's nodded and smiled. Don't quote me I didn't rewatch the entire game)

The DLC at times definitely feels like Link and Zelda dealing with their little toddler, haha. That picture he takes of them both at the end OOF.

Honestly, it really feels like Mipha is ignored once the Zora Princess plotline is over. Unless I'm severely miscounting, she has about as many "alone" moments with Daruk as she does with Link. And ain't nobody shipping them in AoC! (as far as I'm aware, I'm sure there's someone)

I feel like if Link was supposed to have any chance of falling in love with Mipha in the BotW storyline/universe at ALL, they would have made that astoundingly clear in Age of Calamity. But they don't. It feels even more like a joke in AoC than it did in BotW/TotK. The DLC slams the lid on those fingers even harder.

In fact, we could sit here for the whole night debating about whether or not any ZeLinkness in TotK was already written/known to Nintendo when this game was made AND whether or not they specifically made this game Heavy on the ZeLink or Not Heavy on the ZeLink simply because of whether or not there would be ZeLink in TotK. Because there was at least some time where there was production overlap between the two games. No clue how much, but there was some.

Actually, despite whether or not I wanted to make Link end up with Zelda/Mipha, I still wouldn't have cast her aside like it did. After the Zora Princess plot when Mipha bonds with Ruta, it starts feeling like her only driving motive is her affections for Link. Which we know from Champion's Ballad, the Zora Princess plotline, AND when Sidon/Riju/Yunobo/Teba fall out of the sky that her love for her brother, father and people equates (I would actually say "exceeds") any Link-related motives or personality points that Mipha had. So I would force the story/game to put Mipha in places where Link is completely out of sight out of mind. Because there are some parts of BotW/AoC where it acts like Link's her only purpose in life. Which is a problem.

If I wanted to make sure the public knew that Link was supposed to love her and not Zelda, I would have made it dang sure it was obvious. And the only thing I really find obvious in AoC is that her affections are played almost like a joke (or at best a subplot where everything but the beginning and end were cut from the game last minute). I can't remember how to unlock the Zora Armor in AoC, what quests you have to do, but I do remember it was a LOT. Like, the fact that you have to do a LOT of mediocre side quests (I think you have to be post-game to unlock it? I cant remember, but it raises more points if you do) to unlock it instead of it being accessed through the main story says something about Nintendo's intentions, and to me that "something" smells like "included for reference/fanservice only". It was actually one of the last clothing items I got simply because there were a lot of hoops to go through to get it. (I mainly wanted to unlock it to read the description, and the description almost sounds like Link is making a joke of it, or if he's actually concerned that he could GET IN TROUBLE for having it which... raises a lot of flags).

I would have made sure Link got that armor during the main story if he was supposed to love Mipha. I would've made sure to include a part with Zelda and Terrako that more or less says "I know you like him, but he's not your dad" if he wasn't supposed to end up with Zelda. However, neither of those things exist. And they would HAVE to exist (or something very similar) to outweigh everything else occurring in that game.

The whole rest of the game smells so heavily of a ZeLink fanfiction, I actually want to laugh. I couldn't have based ZeLink fanfiction so heavily off this game if there was no ZeLink.

What also makes me want to laugh? Every interaction Urbosa and Revali have in that game. HYLIA she seems so done with him.

[evilwickedme]

Have you ever felt motivated to write something out of spite? I’ve been getting irritated with some fandom stuff and boy is it motivating for me lol

Lmao yeah a whole bunch of my PUBLISHED fic was written out of spite let alone the half finished projects sitting in my drafts

Okay so firstly my first even long fic Of Three Times Lily Evans Changed Her Mind About James Potter (yeah it's a long name usually I just refer to it as OTT). That fic was written out of frustration with my favorite fic at time (The Life and Times) remaining incomplete - it updated once before I started tenth grade and then literally never finished (she posted what she had written but essentially went from being in the middle of an arc to the end of the whole fic and we didn't even get to see jily getting together I will never not be upset about this @thelordofthecats can confirm this). I also included some personal frustrations in there, notably at the omnipresence of wolfstar in the marauders fandom which I did not and do not ship.

Then there's my first ever spideypool fic, Changes. This was all the way back in 2015, when I had just started reading marvel comics. I really enjoyed the spideypool ship but this was before they even had a team up comic - and while Deadpool clearly had a crush on Spidey, peter couldn't STAND wade and actually quit the uncanny avengers over him. So I was like... Okay here's these two extremely different people. Most of the spideypool fic I've read has peter "fix" wade. What if it was the other way around? What if being in a relationship made Peter worse? So that's what that fic is about. (I think was also partially inspired by @ask-spiderpool 's earlier arcs, I believe, but I don't remember exactly when I stumbled across that comic and I do know I was directly inspired by Uncanny Avengers #1)

A bunch of my Witcher fic was written in response to common geraskier tropes, but I'd have to list like four fics here so just trust me on this one, I did a lot of exploration of their power dynamics here. Also, putting it on the record, I think Geralt's more interesting if he's written as a sub.

Then there's the huge fic I haven't shut up about since September, you know, before and after fic? hang on 'til the chaos is through? So yeah that was written because I kept reading fics where just the act of Tim joining the family early made it so Jason didn't die, and to me that seemed just... Wrong. Jason didn't die because he didn't have a Tim to care about, he loved both Bruce and Alfred. He died because he felt angry and betrayed and more specifically because once he found out that there was somebody else he could love, he wanted so desperately to find her and eventually to save her. It's not that I don't like the fics where that did happen - it's just that I wanted to write one where it specifically didn't. I also don't like when fics about Jason rejoining the batfamily have him learn a lesson about how killing is wrong, nor do I like fics where the Pit makes him insane or whatever. UTRH!Jason is reasonable and calculated and has a very comprehensive and logical life philosophy which I enjoy reading and writing about, even if it's not my personal philosophy. So yeah, that's one of the reasons I wrote that fic (also because I am unhinged about Jason Todd but we knew that).

And FINALLY, we have Under the Pink Hood. I am fully aware that this is maybe my most self indulgent fic ever, but by God am I upset this fic flopped. I am so frustrated with both the source material and honestly the fandom's treatment of Gwen Stacy (the original one). It was when @stackthedeck said that if they bring her back again she should at least pull a Jason Todd that I ended up writing Under the Pink Hood, combining both my blorbos into a fic I'm genuinely so proud of.

Honestly I think some of my best writing has come out of spite and frustration. Fanfic as a whole often is just a production of frustration with the source material, and then if you also have frustration with the fandom or even just one creator then that's double the frustration and a great motivator to write. If you haven't tried your hand at it yet - definitely do it, it's a great outlet and I bet you'll produce some great works!

[morningsound15]

Hey just dropping in to say I'm rereading winged cupid painted again and it really means a lot to me. I'm also a writer so I know it always feels a lil weird to have people focusing on super old work (my ancient ass PJO and X-Men fics from high school 8+ years ago somehow still get more engagement than anything else lol) but I appreciate the care put in doing research about blindness, and the little things like frustration with people moving stuff around or being touched randomly. This is stuff people complain about all the time in blind circles I run in, like just yesterday on this discord server I'm in. The writing is gorgeous and I love the way you write the characters. I was never into the 100 really but am always starving for decently written disabled characters that don't fall into the magical/medical fix, "O Woe I A Blind Character Written By A Sighted Author Am Doomed To A Life Of Misery How Am I To Exist With This Cursed Affliction", or just generally painfully stereotypical with face touching and the like. As I said, never super into the 100 for its own right and consequently the characters have taken on a life of their own in my head, they feel like your characters, really. Anyway, I'm rambling but this story is very close to my heart and while I know it's likely a bit too old to be something that'll continue, I'd even love to commission something from you if that's ever feasible. Even if not, your work means a lot to me and I'm probably going to go and comment chapter by chapter as I reread.

thank you so much for this ask! I'm sorry I didn't see it when you first sent it, I've been on the app and you know how weird the app can be with notifications.

I really appreciate you sending this! That story is something that I wrote a really long time ago, it was one of the first long multi-chapter fics I ever attempted, and though I can't necessarily speak to how well it holds up as a piece of writing (my writing style has changed so much since I wrote it that reading it is like reading something by a different author), I am really so very glad people still find something meaningful in it. Realistically I don't think I'll ever finish it, I'm just too far removed from the mindset I was in when I started to write it, and I'm too distant from the characters to satisfyingly wrap up their stories. But knowing that you found it after all these years and enjoyed it really means a lot to me.

Readers who find old stories, even old unfinished ones, and take the time to message and/or comment about them are the backbone of fandom, really truly! Thank you for the kind words.

[bonefall]

fixing the family trees sounds both frustrating and fun in equal measure. i applaud you and good luck untangling the mess lol

It is both! In equal measures!

On one hand, I get to shuffle things around and become acquainted with characters I'd never appreciated before. My heart fills with warmth when I can find a cool new dynamic to make out of the untangling, like the idea of Ratscar raising his little sister, or Longtail mentoring his grand-nephew.

On the other hand, it's a wreck. It makes you really see how gross it's gotten lately, and sometimes you have to grab something that makes your skin crawl in order to fix it. Like unblocking a drain with your hand. The most nerve-wracking fix is everything to do with Holly/Lion/Jay, honestly, they're so integral going forward and there's so much to preserve that it can be hard to know what to cut and what to keep.

I'm also absolutely, 100% prepared for the Erins to make some kind of shipping decision so targeted that it obliterates a large portion of my work like a torpedo. Honestly I'm kind of looking forward to it because it will be VERY funny and I hope I find out about it because someone comes into my inbox like, "Bones I'm so sorry"

Anyways! If you or anyone else has a specific headcannon or an idea you'd like to see worked in, shoot me an ask and I'll see what I can do

[crypticcodexcreations]

Get to Know Me Tag!

A big thanks to @blind-the-winds for tagging me in this!

Rules: answer the questions and tag nine people you want to know better

Favorite Color: Oh my god don't ask a former graphic design student this lol The fun part of this question is that it really really depends. And yes, I know that's me overthinking this question, but I'm a chronic over thinker. But like, my Switch is yellow because I love yellow, but a lot of my clothes are black because it's the color I love to wear, etc. I think I'm going to make this simple and also be a cop out and say rainbow. Rainbow is my favorite color

Currently Reading: It's been a bit since I picked up any of the books I currently have progress on tbh, but the most recent one I made progress on is the first in a trilogy from my childhood that I thought might be fun to re-read May Bird and the Ever After by Jodi Lynn Anderson. I read the whole series as a kid and absolutely adored it. Going back now as an adult aaaaand... I don't think I would enjoy it if not for the nostalgia factor. It's not bad, in my opinion or anything, but it just wasn't written for adults, and that's OK! The world building is really interesting though! And looking back, the build up of one of the main plot points is really nice. They're really vague about why cats have been banned from the Ever After, and remembering the why has me giggling every time it comes up!

I also saw someone, I can't remember who, but I think it was @sleepyowlwrites , mention the Chronicles of the Imaginarium Geographica recently, so the three books I have in that series are sitting on my desk waiting for me to go back to those, as they were also a big part of my childhood. So I'll probably be reading that soon.

Last Song: Ah, the curse of getting to this while listening to music. Currently playing in the background of me typing this is a nightcore cover of Pretty Little Psycho according to the video it's attached to.

Last Series: It has been quite some time since I sat down and tried to watch any series. My little ADHD* brain has had no focus for watching much of anything recently so I think the last series I watched was Bungo Stray Dogs. AND I am not caught up on the anime either.

*Note: That is a guess on what's going on in my brain. Please do not take this as an invitation to ask me about ADHD.

Last Movie: Pretty sure this has been even longer than watching any series of any kind. However, I think it was the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie because my fiance had not seen it and that's a crime that had to be fixed.

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Savory. I can only have sweet things in smaller doses otherwise my tastebuds get overwhelmed and the only proper pain foods are sour ones. Spicy burns and it's not a fun pain for me. Sour is the fun pain.

Currently Working On: Technically, all of my projects are being juggled right now, but with all of them having something that my makes my brain not want to work on them, I'd say what I'm actually working on is keeping my brain from making what I call "Avoidance Projects" What that means is this: Hell's Casino, Cross Over, and The Stories Beneath the Stars all have some sort of basis, having been thought about for a while. "Avoidance Projects" are spur of the moment decisions of what to write about. I may have thought about a character or two for them in the past, but they have no plot thought out ahead of time. My brain likes to start them when I'm frustrated with my current writing and they often end up going nowhere and being forgotten about quickly. So, for now I'm trying to convince my brain to put a pin in them and come back to them when they can have proper attention.

And now! I'm gonna go ahead and tag @calicojackofficial @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @the-finch-address @jezifster @fearofahumanplanet and leave an open tag to anyone else who'd like to do this as well!

[fairytaleinagem]

𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊

suuuuper old piece, thought I'd throw it out there since it's actually pretty fire writing also new dividerrrr, better than the other one lol

"Are you kidding me!? Out of all the times that this had to happen, it chose to be now??" he kicked the metal of the machine, resulting in a hollow BANG as he tried to make it start up again. A cloud of dust lifted, revealing even more scratches and dents. Including the one he just made. His brows furrowed at that. Running a dirty hand through his hair, he pulled at his scalp. A way to try and relieve any stress building up in his head. He repeated the action over and over, before letting his hand flop back down to his side. "Stupid Ruined Facility… Stupid timeline shenanigans… stupid Ae—" he paused, before shaking his head, "no, nothing is stupid… maybe I should take that break…" he muttered, grabbing a rag to wipe his hands, and leaving the messy and rather suffocating room. The machine. He's been trying to get that old thing to work now for, what, a couple of weeks now? But without a clue of what it was, why it was built, or even a little bit memory of his past, there wasn't anything he could do to fix it. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. He recognized it, that's for sure. The various snapped wires and shattered glass tubes running up the dilapidated walls meant that it could power something. It's absurdly ginormous size compared to literally anything else also told him that it packed a lot of punch. And the faint feeling of deja vu every time he looked at it from a certain angle was practically giving him the answer that; yes, he has seen this before. And yet… He flexed his fingers. This was supposed to be a break for him, not for him to be on the verge of breaking. 'Just think of other things, Marcus… Like how there's danger literally everywhere you go. Maybe think of why this place is so damn big. Or how to not die, why there's no other people here, or that there's no visible way to escape—' "UGH! I HATE this STUPID PLACE!" He yelled. Practically on the verge of a temper tantrum. He kicked a random wall, trying to release any of his frustration. Tears blurred his vision, and he almost lost his balance. "God DAMMIT!" The wall was apparently both thin and weak enough to cave under his foot, trapping it. He groaned, before attempting to yank it out. "Come on… Come on…!" It took a few hops, a couple of tugs, and then one loud war cry for it to finally be freed. Relief flooding his senses as he waved away any debris. Ah, there's some dirt on his pants. Bending down to dust away the drywall, a glint caught his eye. Something shiny… and bright? "What the… wait a minute, there's secret rooms in this place!?" he exclaimed. More places where those awful gooey glitchy blobs can spring up on him? What a find! (Note: he's being sarcastic, and he's utterly terrified at the implications of this secret room.) He should probably find a way to get through it, see what that shine was all about. Or maybe he should just… Leave it alone. That's the smartest thing to do, right? But what if there's some really useful information in there? Something that could, I don't know, help him fix that blasted machine? "Ugh… Decisions, decisions.." What would he do..? He paused a moment, as a single, rather stupid thought crossed his mind. Looking back into old, dusty hallway he was in, he sighed. "Nothing better to do," he mumbled. Then, he started to bash in the wall with his foot again. Well, maybe this would be the break he's looking for.

[the-melancholy-scholar]

08/07/2024 - Monday

21h41 - I have been thinking about writing (or typing, if you will) for days, but I don't think much has happened for me to tell.

I know that most things in life require practice and consistency, but I cannot help but feel surprised every time I notice myself changing regarding a subject or noticing the effects of activities in my life. I am saying this because I was deeply struggling with focusing and concentrating for nearly a year, and one of my deepest needs was to fix that, since in the past I wouldn't have had such issues. Very well, I have been able to focus much better, and when my mind wanders, I can often bring it back without many issues; I am way less restless as well. I also have been able to sit through longer periods of study before taking a break, and even my focus on my reading has improved—I was having such an awful time with reading because I couldn't focus on the book for long before getting distracted or having my mind involuntarily "going to places" on its own, which was quite frustrating.

Overall, I have been making great progress, and today I pushed harder since I really wanted to finish this insufferable chapter that was enormous. Just thinking that I will need to reread this book makes me suffer, hahaha. Tomorrow is a day off, but since I am not working, I will just study like any other weekday.

Last week, after going to the store to get some groceries, I came across a nice little clothing store and bought some clothes. I've been thinking about getting some specific pieces for a while, so it was a delight to find such a nice store with timeless fashion so close to home. Today, I ordered a support for my monitor and laptop as well, which will certainly improve my posture and overall well-being, considering how long I've been sitting and reading on my monitor.

Something else that is bothering me, and I am having a bit of a hard time with, is how much I'd like to improve my personality, but I find it quite challenging. Also, not interacting with peers on a daily basis for long periods makes it difficult to test and check, although not interacting with people is probably why I have been productive and in a great mood, lol.

And as always, despite all the seeming progress, I have been a bit apprehensive now and then about my future and whether or not I will manage to climb the career ladder and also improve my general life and well-being by achieving professional success—which would do wonders for my mental health and self confidence.

We may have the next few days of rain—even some heavy rain—and lower temperatures. Hopefully, there won't be any thunderstorms; they make me anxious. Rain itself made me uneasy for quite a long while since I had issues with leakage in my previous apartment (which was located on the top floor of the complex), so I have not yet gotten used to the new place when it comes to rain, and it still makes me nervous; although the thunderstorms were always an issue.

I think that's about it. Hopefully, I will have more interesting things to talk about.

(I wonder if I am failing in the aspect of making a diary and instead mistaking it for a journal. I guess it requires more research...? Does it matter, though?)

I.

[internetaddict104]

So, I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm a big fan of Amanda, but, you know, my two cents: I think its fine if her personality kind of grates at you a bit or you don't think her sense of humor meshes with yours. I'm sorry you were getting death threats, that shouldn't happen. You're right in the sense that you're allowed to feel that way and people getting mad at you for that doesn't do much.

That said I think if you're not looking to try to explain yourself/justify your distaste, you'd probably benefit from more explicitly tagging and curating the audience for your commentary. Like I dont think posting this in the "amanda lehan canto" tag on tumblr will get you the circle of people you want it to get to. I would strongly recommend, at least per tumblr culture, tagging it something like "anti amanda lehan canto" or something else, or at least taking her tag out. I dont know about the equivalent tagging culture on reddit. But in general if you go into a space with a lot of neutral to positive sentiment and drop a VERY strongly negative opinion, its jarring and can be off putting even if people might not disagree with specifics of the opinion. "smosh discourse" or "smosh negativity" might serve you better? idk.

(Also on a more general note, something that's helped me when I was frustrated with an online personality, beyind just disengaging, was just. Actively trying not to read their behaviours as intentional or malicious. When i was irritated by someone, looking at their behaviours (when not avoiding then entirely) through the lens of "ugh look at them doing x or y because of z" would always actively make me more angry or frustrated, be almost purely speculative, and seep into things that were probably actually innocuous, and with no benefit. Going "they're doing x" but actively avoiding speculating that it was for an intentional reason helped a ton with bringing "they're doing x and it fills me with rage" down to "they're doing x which is not to my taste but oh well". Like. You're allowed to be irritated and not mesh well with some online personalities you see, but I'd REALLY advise against assigning intention/malice towards these things that frustrate you.)

(I guess I could elaborate on why i think the pop culture thing is occasionally played up for the bit but is largely genuine- people exist online in DRASTICALLY different ways- but i dont know how much that actually matters to you, lol.)

On your first point, yeah I forgot the “anti” part of the tag. I’ll fix it, though it will still show up in her take since her name is in it.

And Reddit doesn’t have tags so I can’t really curate anything there, unfortunately.

And when I do see her in a video, I do try to not see malice in her actions, and I usually don’t, but it’s still too much for me. Like just her presence annoys me. I can’t help it, but even her just standing around bothers me. Like yeah I get that everyone else finds Sarah Christ to be the pinnacle of comedy, but I don’t get the jokes so I don’t find her funny. I get that she’s supposed to be funny, but I don’t see it. I don’t mind that others enjoy it, though. I mind that they’re gatekeeping feelings.

But thank you for hearing me out and being civil. Smosh Reddit is not as wholesome as they want to be (I literally have about 3 different people right now attacking my username on Reddit for commenting that I don’t find the “Amanda doesn’t know the internet” bit funny).

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Hi again. I'm back to semi keep myself sane

CONTENT WARNING: SELF HARM

Well not to say addiction isn't a form of sh lmfao. Still just incase

I'm just gon say it. Uh I'm writing this because I ended my nearly year long streak of not cutting. I don't really do it often so I don't bother keeping track of when I do it specifically. But yeh. I did it out of frustration towards myself, R, my family, this fucking job, my money, my loans.. I'm just so angry and I don't know what to do. I thought I'd just sob a lil and make myself feel better with that. Didn't work ofc. Even now that I did that to myself I couldn't bring myself to cry 💀

I miss being able to get high in these situations. I feel like I did in college again. Those days walking around feeling completely lost on what to do next. Everything is irritating me and I'm just over it. I never wanted this shit you know?

I'm slightly disappointed in myself. I always told myself I was just tryna be like everyone else when I started cutting myself. Tho I know it's just me being hard on myself. I used to bite/scratch myself and pull my hair out before so it's not entirely fair to say that. But still like. Why couldn't I just punch a wall or something damn 😭😭

Anyway. I alsoo found about 500mg around my room. I had so many pills under my drawer. Plus all the pills I spilled around when I tried to kms while half conscious from the attempt not even a full 2 hours before. I thought i did a good job of throwing away the loose pills after the fact buut ig at some point I made a lil stashe. I've just been staring at them. I want some so bad but I know once I take them I'm buying some more. I have that bad. I can't just have one good experience. I have to have it again and again until it's completely stale. I really stopped taking pills daily in November and took my last pill in early December. I'm scared of what I'll do if I give in. But should I care?

Mmm... my leg is on fire. Sorry if this is too much info. It's hard to focus on what to say next. All I can think about is the pills, how mad I am, annnd my thigh. I don't think it's enough tbh. The fact that I'm still babbling is proof enough.

Well. Speaking of which. A huge apology for some of my older posts. I upset myself rereading my old trip reports. They were awful. I never realized how much I was dealing with at the time. 2022 was the worst year of my life. No doubt. But I WISH I didn't go into so much detail into my personal issues. On one hand, it was good for me as I could let out everything with no filter. Thoooo on the other, that is not what this page was ever supposed to be and I hate that you have to sift the relevant info from my personal drama. I'm tryna be better about that shit. Not everything needs to be said. Plus, I needa be better about thinking about what I'm thinking lol. I feel like im way more irrational than I've ever truly paid attention to. Blasting this place with that isn't thr smartest thing either way. I'll be from here on trying to focus on the bigger shit making me feel rhe way I do.

Oh uh. Well my dumbass inhaled my edibles the other day tryna make myself feel better. My dad made me some to try to replace my dph/pen habit with "real weed" but I've never liked it much. I don't really like weed period for whatever reason. When I'm mixing it with pills I like it but on its own... no. I get really paranoid but so out of it I can't think my way through it. Least with dph I would get paranoid or hear/see something and I'd just forget to be scared. My dislike has led me to eat them fairly infrequently keeping my tolerance kinda low. Thoo I ate about 4x my normal dose annnd as fun as I thought it'd be, I found it more annoying than anything.

I'm in therapy now. I uh don't know how much I like my therapist thus far. He seems so interested in building better habits and not as much fixing whatever's wrong with me. He honestly sounds like he's already given up on me. On my first appointment, he asked about previous visits to therapists. I had only been to one and I was a kid so I didn't understand or take it as seriously as I should have. But apparently I show signs of something deeper going on and talk therapy is "usually not very productive" for people like me. He's focused on getting me medicated and teaching me better coping skills are his main focus from the sounds of it. Tho then again, I've been filling out paperwork and doing minimal speaking so ig he's off the hook 💀💀

Man recommended me to come in 2x a week for the time being. Part of me questions if this is for me or just for him to fill his time slots as quick as possible. Especially with me not having any appointments this week due to his schedule being full LMFAOO. I'm not mad really. I'm just hoping from here out I can actually do the damn 2x a week. I wanna get this treatment shit over with.

Okay well. This one's served its purpose. I'm exhausted and my leg hurts so bad. I wanna sleep it off. Gn

[gamingperipety]

How are the ROs like with trying to show their interest/attraction to an oblivious mc? Like mc pretty obviously likes them but has seemed to come to the conclusion that the RO could never like them back lol

Have a great day!

You have a great day too, Anon!

Dominik: He doesn't beat around the bush and straight up says it. "I like you, more than friends. Romantically." Once he makes up his mind, Dominik gets what he wants and is not afraid to admit that he wants you.

Teht: They stare a lot, scrutinising you. Plainly, they don't get it. Teht though it was obvious that they liked you, considering how they act around everyone else-- The difference is clear as day and night and yet you don't seem to get it. "You're driving me insane."

Zet: Double pining. They won't say anything because they're afraid that you might not like them which creates a vicious cycle that both of you have a hard time breaking. They will try to confess but it always ends up with them in a frustrated and blushing mess and you looking at them like ??? It'll probably take a third party to intervene or for Zet's patience to finally wear out for them to confess.

Miata: Pretty straightforward, she'll lead the both of you somewhere private and start a seemingly innocent conversation, which ultimately ends with "I want to kiss you, if you'll allow it." She'll tease you a bit about how oblivious you are. "I didn't know you were so dense, I almost started doubting myself," she says with a sly smile. "I'm surprised you're not dead yet considering your lack of attention to detail, but don't worry. You have me to watch your back."

Prisca: She'll catch on pretty quickly. Will find subtle ways to show that she cares until she musters up the courage to confess her feelings. Might actually let it slip on accident if she's sleepy as she's more irritable and you not getting it drives her crazy. It's mostly the fact that you are hurting that bothers her. "You shouldn't doubt yourself."

Narkis: Honestly, he's not the most literate when it comes to his own feelings. It'll probably take him a while to realise that he likes you in the first place. Narkis gets progressively more protective, he won't straight up confess until he's sure of your feelings too, but he'll be very supportive and caring in his own way. He might even speak softer around you to make sure you realise that you are different from other people in his eyes. Most likely to confess in the heat of the moment.

Herian: They die. Herian makes it hard for anyone to understand in which category his feelings fall, so they don't blame you for being confused. They will tell you that they like you but the timing needs to be right so you might have to wait for a while. In the meantime they'll try to do things for you and pay you more attention.

Shin: They make it extremely obvious that they like you in the first place, so it's hard to miss. Extremely hard. They're constantly bothering you; their attention is on you whenever you're into the room, subtle and not so subtle touches here and there, they might even say it quite often that they do, in fact, like you. A lot. More than friends. They're in love with you.

Kalipso: I think you being oblivious to their advantages would discourage them a little. Maybe they don't like me after all, they'd think. It'll take someone else to encourage them to confess in order for them to do so.

Deoki: They'll do things for you, aggressively. If you have something in hand that needs fixing-- let's say you need to polish your weapon-- they'll just snatch it out of your hands and do it for you. They are self aware that this method it is not, in fact, working; so they decide to be blunt instead. "You're as dense as a brick," they say. "I'm attracted to you. And I'd gladly be yours, if you'll have me."

[thegeminisage]

what do you think are some of the biggest pieces of evidence for cas being ace? i've watched so much of the show in the past month that it all blurs together, lol, so i can't remember many specific scenes. i do remember "i'm utterly indifferent to sexual orientation" (though that wasn't about his own orientation) and cas' discomfort at idea of sleeping with women at the bordello in 5.03... anything else you can think of? I'd be interested to hear your thoughts!

rubs my hands together okay a List yeah i can do a list

wait actually first i wanna say that the biggest reason is because i’m asexual and i said so 0:) like i know that sounds a joke and it is a little bit but SERIOUSLY it’s just a general Aura or what the fuck ever about people. you know how sometimes a friend group formed in teenage years will one by one realize they’re all queers and they just grouped together organically? ace people are like that too. many of my closest friends have been aspec and i didnt even know that when i met them, THEY didn’t even know. but like if you asked me to list the ten people i was closest to over my life the huge majority would be aspec like me. we find each other In The Wild. so when i say he’s ace because i said so like i’m saying I’m Ace And I Can See Him. He Is Ace Because I Said So. my ace-dar is EXCELLENT

okay anyway with that out of the way here’s your actual list. obviously much of this can be a point in favor of many different readings of cas (and i’m not saying those can’t be true at the same time as ace cas!), but i’m ace and he’s ace and that’s what this post is about so i’m focusing on the ace parts. thank you.

list of ace cas evidence:

in general cas has a lot of trouble connecting with humanity at first which is an ENORMOUS ace mood

when dean cracks in the 4.01 deleted scene “yeah i have that problem with women” (after cas talks about the difficult in finding a vessel that can contain him) cas absolutely does not get that joke. we were having ace cas moments right from the get-go

it’s shown as early as 4.02 that cas doesn’t understand personal space. this is him not getting one single thing about human intimacy works and that he’s overstepping a boundary. it’s not just that he’s an angel (though that’s some of it) he just doesn’t intuitively understand physical stuff like that

that dean/anna kiss in 4.10. LOOK AT HIS FACE. that’s a face that says “i had no idea this is how humans were intimate with each other” and also “do i want to try that?” answer: maybe. dean’s very pretty. but something about it just feels like he’s going “whoa i never even CONSIDERED that” - like that to be sexy with the humans he’s into just didn’t occur to him

i know you said so already but WOW 5.03 brothel scene. THEEE ace cas moment

i’d also like to take a moment to tip my hat to 5.04. almost every aspec will have had a period of frustration and self-loathing where they thought at least once about maybe just having sex they weren’t into as a way to be “fixed” or to prove something. when aspecs are at their lowest and most broken, they are having sex they do not want to have. and when cas is at his lowest and most broken (in 5.04 AND 9.03, thank you), what is he doing? having sex! it’s just Interesting to me that the only times cas fucks is when he’s literally in the absolute worst points in his entire life 

also, i’m getting out of order here, but that thing in 9.03 was absolutely rape. the way he talked about it after was THEEE most comphet bullshit i’ve ever seen. “that was nice.” “she was...sooo hot.” dean winchester can’t fool me and neither can cas thee tiel. 

i know everyone was uncomfortable with the cherub in 5.14 but cas was SUPER uncomfortable. “no one likes it” yeah that’s cause he’s not a big touchy-feely dude 

i actually really hate that porn scene in 6.10, but it is a classic “i don’t get it” moment + a side of “monkey see monkey do” later when he decides to mimic it and kiss meg. she started it - he’s just going “oh yeah i remember watching that on TV - like this, right?” he’s pleased with himself for correctly mastering a form of human interaction, he’s not, like, horny. 

didn’t get the erectile dysfunction joke in 6.19

obviously, godstiel’s utter indifference to sexual orientation

strongly implied to be in a chaste marriage with his “wife” daphne when he was an amesniac

being repeatedly lobotomized in season 8 is its own can of worms. they were trying to make him straight. alas, it cannot be done

meg propositions him in season 8 and it takes him a bit to catch on. i don’t think accepting means he’s not ace, just that he’s interested in stuff humans do. would have been nice for his first time not to be with a psycho reaper who got him to trade his virginity for a pb&j :/

cas seemed REALLY nervous at the prospect of the date in 9.06, almost like it was something he had to steel himself to do - yet another weird part of human life he was resigning himself to, especially after metatron told him “go find a wife and have some babies” when his grace was taken

cas in season 10 is UTTERLY oblivious to hannah’s advances, even the ones that include nudity (and his own nudity at one point lol), and when he finally catches on he lets her down in the most awkward way possible

in season 11 he says he’s gonna take dean’s temperature and doesn’t see how that’s weird lol

he never got to truly speak to dean about his weird “””attraction””” to amara but i like to think he would have been equally confused

in season 12 in the hotel room where an orgy had clearly just taken place dean snickers and picks up the panties but cas is totally oblivious

ALSO completely oblivious when the waitress hits on him in season 12

this is a little bit of a stretch, but despite being named as jack’s “real” father, his relationship with kelly, his ostensible baby mama by proxy, seemed INCREDIBLY platonic to me. like they were such good buds! but he never had any of that romantic chemistry with her - there were no lingering notes or touches or whatever. he just wasn’t interested in that same way. 

exasperated with gabriel and talking about porn stars in season 13 lol

canonically, castiel spent seasons 4-?? falling in love with dean, but he never made a move on him physically - yeah yeah the CW is homophobic but i like to think that most of castiel’s Urges where dean is involved are not in fact of a sexual nature. he wants to be close to him and important to him more than he wants to fuck him. you can long for someone in the ace way without longing for them sexually yk

this is part of why i actually really liked the 15.18 confession - the happiness was in the being, or whatever. he was already WITH dean in almost every way that mattered (i wrote a fic about this). they shared secrets, they shared burdens, they lived together, they fought and worked together, they even raised a fucking kid together! cas was convinced he couldn’t have more than that but also he didn’t really NEED much more than that and thinking about how he had been with dean all along was what made him happy enough to literally die. yeah there’s a version of that scene where the reciprocation was enough to do it but they accidentally hacked it into an ace love scene so i will TAKE it

this concludes my list! i bet it’s a lot longer than u were expecting

[spn masterpost]

edit: a few updates