#(I can and still will call him a little shit tho cuz he is)

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[clockworkreapers]

Is helstm your troll or someone elses hes just such a cute little fish *is such a violet blood apologest*

Yes he is my troll, the main 6 ones in the comic are all my bbs. Helstm, Majell, Cybele, Cyrusk, Falmea and Sauron all belong to me I made them over a decade ago when I was in middle school and they have slowly evolved from there!

That’s why I’m kinda the only one who constantly draws them all lol

[unhingedgirlythings]

FUCK IT

SUMMERY : Reader gets her date interrupted when Hotch calls up asking for her to get to the BAU. Reader rushes over still dressed up and a certain dr can’t keep her eyes off her teehee.

Tags:fem reader , a huge amount of awkwardness, reader is over her love life

A/N: I WANTED AWKWARD SPENCER REID, bare with me tho cuz I haven’t written a fanfic since I was 13 and it was horrible so please be kind and let me know your thoughts :))) enjoyyy.

——————///—————///--——————///——————

You were used to your phone ringing at the WORST possible times, I mean with your job that was something you just had to prepare yourself for. Serial killers don’t take a break just so you can have a girls night out or take a nice relaxing bath after a long day. Although never in your life did you imagine the wave of relief that would wash over you as the all too familiar ringtone blared from your phone. Normally you would groan and feel your body grow more exhausted whilst hesitantly picking up the phone, but not tonight. Nope. Fortunately for hotch, you couldn’t have answered the phone faster. “what’s up” low and behold hotch was on the other end requesting your presence ASAP!

You tried to hide your glee as you glanced over at the douche-ist blind date that the great quote on quote “matchmaker” of the century Garcia, had raved on about the week before. To be fair the date didn’t start off bad, it was actually the most decent one you’ve had yet. Honestly you were ready to finally praise Penelope for actually finding you a decent man to take your mind off the unrequited school girl crush that you had on a certain “kid” genius. somehow you escaped the dude who clearly was stuck in some frat boy mindset, well not without some snarky comment made towards you which you shut down a little harsher then needed but seriously you couldn’t hold back anymore, you had no idea what possessed Penelope into thinking you would EVER consider going home with the king of fucking douchebags (most likely the biceps and tight clothing that the man sported). Nevertheless here you were speeding down the freeway, thinking way too hard about your love life completely blanking and forgetting to drop by your apartment to quickly change into something more work appropriate.

Before you knew it you’ve parked your car, walking into the cold air. A shiver runs down your body and the shock hits you when you realize. Here you are in a little skimpy black dress that clings to your curves in “just the right way” according to Penelope before shoving you out into your car heading to that horrible excuse of a date, “ahh shit. Fucken seriously! Of course this is just my luck … I mean at least I look good” groaning and mumbling to yourself, you make your way into the building. You knew Hotch would be understanding, I mean you never know when you’re gonna be called in and it sounded urgent so yeah, sometimes you and your coworkers walk in with inappropriate work wear. You will never forget the time he called everyone in at god knows what time, Spencer had walked into the room with his pjs sporting a fluffy dress robe, you seriously thought someone was going to have to perform cpr on you that night.

Walking into the building in heels was definitely a pain in your ass, but you managed as you pushed the briefing room door open. A low wolf whistle from Derek Morgan was the last thing you needed right now “damn sweetheart, who knew you could clean up so nicely“ As you make your way into the room, you playfully roll your eyes at him.“haha very funny” you cringed as everyone’s attention was now drawn to you. while taking a seat next to JJ, wishing to be wearing literally anything else “Sorry Hotch, i came straight from..” you hesitate for a second, glancing around before continuing “A date, but this sounded important so I didn’t have time to change”The stoned faced man simply nods at you “It’s fine. You're here, right now we have a lot to cover” He starts debriefing the team, leaving no detail out of the case, no matter how brutal, you tried your hardest to give him your unwavering attention, but you could feel someone’s eyes on you. And out of the corner of your eye see him. Spencer.

His stare was hot and intense, and fuck was it making you become a flustered mess. You glanced at him from your peripheral trying your best to be subtle about it, it was getting harder and harder to focus on Hotch and the case, not Reid. But when his puppy dog eyes drifted up, down and all over your body, your body involuntarily reacted, slightly squirming in your seat. Before you could stop yourself, your eyes turn and lock onto his gorgeous brown ones, a smirk graces your lips as he finally notices your eyes now on him. Looking like a kid being caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he turns pink from the embarrassment and shame of being caught, and god did that make your head spin. Now it was his turn to awkwardly squirm in his seat while staring at Hotch with all his attention. You giggle under your breath at his fumbling awkwardness. Before you know it everyone around you starts to pack up their things and stand up, leaving you confused. Of course you spent the whole debriefing paying so little attention to the case and more on Spencer.

Sighing, you pull the hem of your dress down as you stand trying to save yourself from even more embarrassment. “soooo how did it go? Was he as yummy as you’d hoped?” Garcia wraps her arms around yours as you try not to stumble down the stairs towards your desk “you, my love are officially banned from meddling in my love life” you could already hear the trail of complaints bouncing around in her head as you plopped down onto your desk chair, reaching for the new case folder hoping to catch yourself up before take off in the morning “aww come on I for sure thought you’d be jumping his bones, all those rippling muscles, who In Their right mind could resist” the thought of the man you had seen a few hours prior put a foul taste in your mouth, causing your face to scrunch up in disgust “he was a complete dick, he legit referred to himself as an “alpha male” AN ALPHA ,Only thing I wanted to jump , was off a building at that point” a defeated look from her was all the conformation you needed, no longer were you going on blind dates, and your love life was back to being non existent and sad “sorry Pen I tried, I really really tried, you just have horrific taste in men like my god do we need to get you some help. These guys are basically human garbage” whilst looking up your eyes naturally drift and settle on Spencers desk frowning as you watch him, his heads buried in the case file whilst obsessively jotting down notes like some multitasking god, your heart couldn’t help but pine after his more, the looks you shared moments before didn’t help your case either. Resting your chin in the palm of your hand, you drag your eyes away trying to spare yourself from going into one of your Spencer Reid spirals. You look up at Penelope already disliking the pitiful look she was giving you “are you sure your ready to give up?, I mean I know this cute guy who would be super into you, he's just your type “the new voice startled you, turning in your seat you’re met with Emily smirking down at you whilst leaning against your desk inserting herself into the conversation with JJ beside her “wow ok fun, are we all just gonna just dive head first into my personal life?, don’t we have a case to work on?” trying to deter the subject of the conversation off of you was a bust, as the women you call friends gleam down at you with a shared look “yeah no this is too entertaining to sit out on.” you couldn’t believe you were having this conversation right now, letting out a groan you leaned back in your chair covering your face in hopes of hiding the redness in your cheeks “sweetheart, what you need is a good ol one night stand, get a certain pretty boy out of your system” if you weren’t already melting into a puddle of embarrassment, you definitely were now “Morgan shut up please for the love of everything holy”

you could only pray Spencer wasn’t paying attention to the little group that was forming at your desk, maybe he was being good and reading the case file like the rest of them should be doing but of course luck wasn’t in your favor tonight “what are we talking about?” Before you could shut the whole conversation down Morgan happily answered Spencer “oh, we were just discussing Y/L/N’s love life. I think she needs a good root, what do you think?” that stupid smirk Morgan was happily wearing was enough to make your blood boil, now you truly wished to disappear “ok ok that’s enough” you shoot up from your seat avoiding any eye contact with Spencer not wanting to see his reaction to your humiliating red face “conversation over, my love life is going back to being non existent, thank you for your concern but it’s over, officially dead so no more talking about it.” you snatch the file off your desk ready to get the hell out of whatever situation you found yourself in “i'm going home to at least get some sleep before we leave tomorrow or I’ll be a zombie all day” with that you hastily made your way out of the building and into the cool night air once again.

wrapping your arms around yourself in hopes to provide some warmth, you slowly make your way to the car park. Before you could make it to your car you could hear foot steps getting closer and closer until they were right behind you, stopping along with yours once you had reached front of your car. Quickly spinning around you slam them onto the car's hood, arm in your hand, face down and pinned.

“Ow ow ow ow Ow!” Shit. It was Spencer. The man you’ve been daydreaming about and here you were pinning him to the hood of your car. “oh shit sorry, my god, don’t walk up on me like that holy shit Spence you scared me” you pull away off him whilst letting go of his arm and backing away a little. Spencer lets out a hiss of pain as he pushes himself off the hood, rubbing his arm to try and relieve the pain “sorry I was just trying to make sure you got to your car safely. It’s late a-and” he looks at your dress whilst clearing his throat looking away awkwardly “are you ok? you seemed upset in there” he looks back at you whilst giving you a smile that made you wanna pass away on the spot “yeah I’m ok, just having your dating life put on full blast in front of the team like that can be a tad embarrassing” silence was the only response you were met with, you glance up at Spencer trying to think of something, anything to say in this moment “you look really nice by the way, it’s unfortunate your date turned out that way.” His eyes meet yours, your breath gets caught in your throat as heat creeps up your neck to your face “t-thanks” tugging on the hem of your dress you smile sheepishly “not the most comfortable outfit, honestly wish Pen let me wear my sweater but you know”

“Penelope” you both say, you giggle as Spencer chuckles. “Oh by the way, I thought you may want these, may help a little tomorrow” he hands you the notes he took from the briefing, Your fingertips brush against his, the feeling of warmth from his hands sends a shiver down your spine. “Thanks Spence. I appreciate it” you stand there longer than needed before you start to turn away from him. “You know, that even though there aren't any hard statistics, it’s roughly estimated that every 1 in 3 or 4 blind dates actually end up as a success” he rambles on, looking back at him you try to pay attention but you can’t stop your eyes from sifting down towards his lips “so there is a chance” his voice fades away as his words become background noise and your thoughts become louder and louder, all you could think about was him, the feeling of wanting only grew stronger with each passing minute. It didn’t help that his lips were tempting you, calling you in. you couldn’t hold yourself back much longer, will power growing weaker and weaker “fuck it” your body moves before commen sense had its time to put a stop to whatever ridiculous thoughts you had muster up, suddenly your lips press onto his without thinking it through. It was short and one sided yet sweet, the faint taste of coffee and sugar overwhelmed your senses

The sudden realization hits you hard as you push yourself off Reid, the feelings of regret and fear settles itself in your stomach making you feel sick “Sorry I wasn’t thinking, shit sorry, forget that happened ok” you back away keeping your eyes glued to the ground in fear that you’ll look up and only see rejection written on his face. What in the hell possessed you to do that?, why the fuck did you do that, the only reason you kept your feelings shoved down was to protect your friendship with Spencer, nothing meant more to you then the bond you both shared and now you’ve ruined it and for what? A stupid kiss? “wait, uh No no it was just unexpected I didn’t hate it actually quite the opposite” your head snaps back up at a red faced flustered Spencer Reid “don't apologize“ his warm hands warp around your cold ones as he steps closer to you once again “did you um maybe want to try that again? Only if you want to though I don’t want you to regret anything” you giggle as he starts to nervously stumble over his words, this time more confident in your actions your lips find his for the second time tonight.

The taste of coffee meets your lips again as your body relaxes into the kiss, which is very reciprocated this time. The warmth radiating from Spencer chases the cold night air away. As your bodies shuffle closer together. you both hesitantly pull away from each, you wanted to stay here in this moment for as long as possible but of course your bed was calling your name along with the early flight departure. “I should go” you really didn’t want to “I know“ his hands stayed on your waist for a moment before slipping away “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow” the sweet look on his face drove you crazy, the urge to say fuck it and stay with him for the remainder of the night was overpowered by the sleepless night before, you settle for placing a goodnight kiss on his cheek instead “night Spence” winking you open your car door and make your way in, you turn the car on and roll the window down to call out to him as he backs away with a smug smirk on his face “sweet dreams pretty boy” with that you drive away replaying the events of tonight in your mind, god you couldn’t wait to get the case over with so you could finally have a date that wasn’t going to end in ruins, especially with the man you’ve been crushing on since your first day, yeah no you weren’t going to get any sleep tonight now.

[angelyuji]

stan pines dating headcanons

18+ minors dni!!

cw // sexual content under the cut!

MY LOVE

he is sooo my man i need him so bad

very old fashioned

asked you out first not cuz he thinks he’s the hottest guy in the world. but because “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”

he told dipper and mabel he made that up first (he didn’t, he saw it on facebook) (they know he didn’t make it up, but they pretend they believe him)

“heya there, toots.” stan leans on your desk. you look at him, an eyebrow raised.

“hey, stan. need something?” you smile at him.

“yeah, you. me. date. whenever you’re free.” stan looks away, suddenly nervous.

“hmm, yeah, alright! i’m free tonight after work.” stan looks back at you, eyes wide in surprise, before collecting himself. he smiles.

“great, great, i’ll pick you up at 8, dollface.”

calls you pet names that were popular in the 70s/80s: dollface, sweetcheeks, baby, cutie, sugar

stan believes you deserve the world so he yk he’s treating you soooo well

he doesn’t think he deserves you, so he tries so so so hard to treat you well

he believes he’s fucked up every good thing in his life, so when you guys get together, he tries so hard to be a good partner to you

takes you out anywhere you want, even if its something he hates.

you tell him you want to see some movie in theaters, he’s gonna say no and be huffy cuz he’d rather stay home and save money. but the next day he’s gonna show up at your door with the tickets, rolling his eyes, telling you to get in the car

takes you with him to break laws and steal stuff with him

you’re a total nervous wreck but stan’s laughing and holding your hand and you know that everything’s gonna turn out alright.

he buys you clothes sometimes but he’s not up with fashion, so not usually.

any time he does, its usually because he took mabel shopping and he saw something that he thought you would like

more of a listener than a yapper like he’ll listen to you go on and on about something without stopping. you’re his personal podcast. he also loves when you watch his soap operas with him

hehehe im gonna fuck this old man so hard he’s gonna stop breaking traffic laws

sooo smooth and flirty, but he gets over obviously red in the face and its cute asf

he was kinda insecure about his body at first, but seeing how obsessed you are with him when you guys sleep together, he’s all like “heh, i still got it” and he smirks cuz he’s a little shit

likes to be on top, call him old-fashioned, but he likes looking down at you and seeing your face as he makes you feel good

he’s a man of routine, however you can convince him to do different positions or things in the bedroom because at the end of the day, you’re his everything

he goes slow, doesn’t go crazy and jackhammer into you

last time he went too fast, he threw his back out and you had to run through the shack butt-naked looking for his lumbar support pillow

he doesn’t like to talk about it, it was super embarrassing for the both of you lowkey

you were sweet about it tho, i mean, he is in his 70s and you found it sweet he almost destroyed his back to make you feel good

absolutely lovessss receiving head

he’s alsooo a giver dw, certified muncher??? or wtv they say, but he personally likes getting more

anyway back to the cutesy stuff

sometimes he asks you to help him build some stuff for the shack

you get to see stan be creative and create art, as well as fix stuff around the shack (if soos isn’t around)

a lot of duct tape related fixing, but watching him work is hot so u don’t care

i love u stanley pines i need u so bad pls pls pls ruin my life

[supernova41st]

Can I request tf2 mercs with a reader who is genuinely terrifying. Like there quiet, sneaky, uncanny, basically reader is kinda like the mercs very own cryptid. (Bonus points if reader is tall af<3)

Boo 🤍

A/n: Spy’s is a little short here 😣 I hope you weren’t too eager to see his lol. I got a little experimental with this one, not too much tho. Also I’ll be going on another break, I know I just finished one but I’m going through an unexpected rough time rn. So sorry guys, hope you enjoy <33

Warnings: Video used may be a spoiler for s2 of scream queens, Praying is used in a humorous light

To start things off, you introduced yourself in the worst way possible. The bus that you were supposed to take got broken down so you had to find your way through the base without knowing where the entrance was. So what’d you do? Bang into a bunch of glass windows at 3am while it was RAINING. Some of the mercs were up trying to fix up the power generator and..

I saved that clip for weeks I’m so happy I have a reason to use it now

I know they’re all supposed to be big bad mercs but you scared the living FUCK out of them.

Scout

This man went running. He went all the way from the generator to the fucking bunks in the span of a minute! So what’d he do when he got to his room? He grabbed his cross necklace, got on his knees, and started PRAYING.

“Please god Jesus frickin’ Christ hear my prayers, save me-I’m sorry about all those magazines I keep under my bunk and I’m sorry that I told spy to go fuck himself when he told me I couldn’t pull bitches and I’m sorry I call girls bitches please just don’t let me friggin’ die dude!!”

He just kept chanting the same things until Miss Pauling found him cradling himself on his bed with a blanket wrapped around him.

“Scout what are you doing?”

“THERE IS A GHOST IN THE BASE.”

“Oh, you mean y/n?”

‘Hi 👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️’

Yea he was pretty freaked out by you. To make it worse, you always just stare at him. He can’t remember a single moment where he looked at you and didn’t catch your tiny pupils locked onto him.

At first he’d just gently wave awkwardly while you did the same so freakishly. Eventually he decided to say something because it was scaring him, something he’ll never admit

“Yo you got a problem or somethin’, what’s with all the stares?”

“Nothing, I just like looking at you. Your structure pleases me.”

“..oh, well that’s actually-wait I thought-hold on do you really-pfft-Yeesh, I didn’t expect you out of everyone to haha.. Yknow”

Yeah he was blushing like crazy, such a straightforward compliment.

He’s still scared of you, but he uses you as his hype man every now and then. He’ll fish for compliments and WILL receive them

“Dontcha think I got some nice racks for a guy?”

“..Totally”

He could literally walk up to you and threaten to kill you and your reaction is just “yuh go for it”

If you’re freakishly tall then he calls you tree. Cuz

If you’re on the shorter side then he would just pick you up from the shoulders and kiss you on the forehead. He knows you won’t do shit, you’re literally just 🧍‍♀️

(gotg reference)

“I am hideous? :(“

“You kiddin’? You’re horrifying to look at”

Engineer

He didn’t even notice everyone else went running, he just kept on working on the electrical box. So when he stood up and saw you staring straight into the glass, he jumped a little but was mostly just confused

“What in the..”

“tap tap-Can you let me in?”

You’re lucky he didn’t go running like everyone else, you probably would’ve died from the flu if you spent another second outside in the freezing rain.

He puts a bell on you. He just had one laying around and tied it around the your wrist, it didn’t work because of how stiff your movements were so to ‘help’ you rang it against his ear.

“..”

“…..🔔🔔🔔🔔”

“GOD DAMN IT- oh, y/n”

“Sorry, the bell wasn’t ringing how you wanted it to so I rang it myself”

“Uh-huh, thanks for the warning partner”

From my experience southern people love to make conversation, but you aren’t really familiar with that. So when he tries to flirt it gets pretty awkward

“How’s it goin’ sugar, I reckon your looking quite nice today”

“👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️”

“..you gonna say anythin’ back?”

“Oh, um.. I like your face.”

“Woah, alright then.”

He feels so embarrassed when he stands next to your tall ass, it makes him feel belittled. Especially when you actively have to look down just to make eye contact

But if you’re short then he loves it. Finally for once he doesn’t have to be reminded of his height when standing next to anyone.

Spy

He’s gone as soon as you show up. Like straight up disappears. He doesn’t like to show fear-makes him look weak

He’s convinced you could still see him though, cuz you happen to look in his direction even while he was invisible.

You don’t scare him as much as the others, if anything he took a bit of a liking to you because you stressed him out the least compared to the others. He always stood next to you + you were always his first pick for missions

You always make small talk with him. He doesn’t enjoy it but he still responds

“What is under your mask?”

“That is none of your business.”

“Why? Do you look like me?”

Spy doesn’t know if he should feel offended or annoyed

You don’t necessarily startle him like everyone else but you do make his heart jump slightly when you pop out of nowhere, you can see it in his pupils but never his body.

Pyro

HE RAN TOO BUT DIDN’T KNOW WHY LMFAO

He just saw everyone running and went ‘oh okay we’re doing this now 🏃‍♂️’

But seriously, he fell in love with you at first sight. Your features felt so intricate to him, you always gave each other blank stares, zoning into each other’s eyes.

‘⚫️ ⚫️’

“👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️ hi”

“⚫️ ⚫️ mmf”

You’re the only person who can fully understand him. No, not using his body language, you can actually tell what he’s saying. He aw’s at that, finally someone knows what he’s saying.

It makes him more self aware than how he was before, he’ll say some really petty shit and when you react he panics

“Mmph mmm”

“um pyro I need you to calm yourself”

“Mm!”

Somehow you disturb HIM, you’ll point something out to him and talk to him like he’s crazy which makes him crazy

“Pyro, you reek of fire, it’s 30° outside, and it’s a cease day. Do you have any thoughts?”

“Mmmf mmm mph ☹️”

*plz leave me alone

Since you and him are so observant, the rest of the mercs are a little spooked by you guys. You’ll be in the corner with him watching and everyone is fairly weirded out.

“Mm mmmfmm mm”

“Pyro you’re hilarious.”

“What did thing say?”

“He said that if you were a littlest pet shop figure you’d be #508”

“..heavy is not sure what he expected”

[danaduchy]

all texts from Kerry

Found Henry Holy shit, Henry's on board. Way to go! Check outta rehab of his own free will… thru the window, hehe. Some nurse tried to stop us - at first I thought she wanted an autograph, but she didnt even recognize me. Tell you the rest later How's it going with Nancy? S'all under control That's what I like to hear

Samurai's back together What about Johnny? He amped for this gig or meh? * As amped as he's ever been. Must be important to him cuz otherwise I wouldnt be forced to take this stupid pseudoendotrizine * Hard to say. You know how he is Well I'm amped as fuck, if anyone's wonderin. It'll be fuckin shimra - just gotta remember not to get too wasted before. Old habits die hard, haha

Waiting for you Kerry? Where are you? On the way. Chill. Gotta change

What's up, V? Too bad you split so quick after the concert - we didn't even get a chance to chat I barely know anything about you, except you've got a shit-ton goin on inside You're the one who left early That so? Hm, maybe. Anyway, it was fuckin nova, wasn't it? Shoulda recorded it for you cause you didn't catch anything thru Johnny

Hey! Heey. So I cant stop thinkin about our little adventure. FUCKIN AWESOME. Thats how you live life. ON THE EDGE :> * Who doesnt like explosions and races right? :) Lemme know if the rest of your plan worked out Sure, I'll text or call ;) If I can't convince you to blow up anythin else, then at least we can go for a drink. Take care! * Egh, day just like any other. Hope it helped you tho Pff, sound more nonchalant than a karaoke star from kabuki ;) I'll be in touch

Coffee at Caliente Know what? I'm glad we got a chance to talk over coffee. You're a straight shooter, V. Nothing like the ass-kissers I'm usually surrounded by. It's good we did what we did, right? Blowing that van to bits? Cuz I been thinking… * To be honest, got no clue if anything good will come of it. I agreed cuz you paid me. Honest as ever, huh? Means I was right about you. Appreciate that, V. I really do. Don't ever change. * It was the right thing to do. And you've got nitro running through your veins. Don't you ever let yourself think otherwise! Nitro in my veins? Yeah, and a fuse sticking out of my ass. Least that's what I felt back then. Was worth it, though - slept like a fucking baby for the first time in ages. Talk to you later. Thanks again!

Reward Hey, forgot to send the eddies before, but should hit your account any sec. PREEM WORK :>

Where are you? Well, where are you? At this rate I'm gonna be a fuckin skeleton by the time you get here.. Move your ass or forget about this whole thing Dunno where you are or what you're up to, but I'm a busy fuckin man. Forget about it - don't have time for this shit Srsly, V? Ditched me with the badges and split? Shitty move. We're fuckin THROUGH Where the fuck are you? Grrr doesnt matter. I'm checkin out, goin home. Call ya if somethin comes up

answer yr phone!!! Hey, V. Got a job for you. Corner of Grey and Mallagra. Be there first thing in the morning, we'll talk it over. I'm fucking livid, V! Those Us Cracks bitches clearly didn't get the hint. Instead of cancelling after we blew up their truck, they just moved their show to another date! Meet me at Riot ASAP. We'll deal with them differently this time. The Us Skanks still wanna fuck me over and record the cover, V! On top of that, their lawyers won't stop yappin'. We really need to talk. I'm at Dark Matter right now. Come 'round the back, the bouncers will let you in. It's easier to reach my dead grandma than you, V! Anyway, Us Cracks are done, for real this time. We should celebrate! Stop by Dark Matter. Use the back entrance.

What's up? Hey, hows it going? Ownin the streets of NC? * More like tryna survive. Let's just say the city and I are even Sweet. What's that? What's up with me? Nice of you to ask. Hammerin out some sick tunes. Ok, more like trying to hammer out. Keep your fingers crossed * Hey hey, you could say that. Lotta stuffs been happenin - even without you! :O Yeah yeah, whatever! I'm stringin together some fresh tunes… OK, more like thinking about some fresh tunes. Keep your fingers crossed

Missed holocall! V! Whatever you're doing right now - drop it and come see me at the Marina. Pier four.

Scratch that! Spoke too soon Slight change of plans - waitin on an important delivery and the fuckin gonk's late. Be at the marina at 7pm!

Kova-chek this out :D Kovachek went ballistic when he found out the yacht went up in smoke! Even went back on those pills that turn him into you know, whatever the opposite of a cyberpsycho is. More goo than a man haha this is greaaaaat! * Ouch. Musta sunk a lotta eddies into that float! :P Speakin of dickheads tho - turns out he stashed a ton of drugs on board! Like, two yachts' worth. And we sent aaaall of that to the bottom of the sea :D Bay's full of fish high off their fins now! * Literally zero living organisms in that bay, Ker. Yeah duh they they took their happy fishy asses down to the spaceport and went to la la land. Anyway tellin ya whenever I'm down, I think about our seaventure and it's like insta good feels :* * Wow. What now? Feel like blowing more of his shit up. Think he's got a luxury crib somewhere in the Rockies… Something to think about… :P FUCK NO! I GOT IT! We make a Kovachek voodoo doll! Can't wait to stab that prick right in the dick :D * I really don't care about that dick, Kerry. Fine OK. As long as you care about MY dick, that is :P

Hey :* Heeey, how's it hanging? Everything all right? I'll just come right out and say it - I miss you. Just a little bit though ;) You coming by anytime soon? * Miss you too, if you can believe that. See? We're tuned to the same frequency. I'll try to swing by sometime. Preem. I'll be waiting! * Hey! Well well, look who's suddenly spilling their guts out :P Dunno when I can drop by though :/ Sad face :( But fine - I know the world doesn't revolve around me. It sucks, but that's the way it is. Take care! * Been thinking about you… Thinking about you too. You're like some chorus to this incredible song that's been stuck in my head lately. On loop :) * What's new? Still conquering the world with music? Planning to! :) don't really know if there's anything left to conquer though. You're already mine, right? (I know, I knooooow, it's cringe. But I couldn't hold myself back!) Latest song I wrote - read it and weep. Wrote it while thinking of you: "Where you whisper, open up your heart / Reveal the place where I once had a heart" Whaddaya think? * I like it. It's gentle, but still has a bite. And knowing you, probably has multiple meanings ;) Exactly! I knew you'd get it :*** * Hmm, you were thinking about me when you wrote that? Dunno if that's good or bad :< it's up to you - that's the whole point! :* * Got a bunch of things on my plate right now. Times are tough. Oh, OK, cool. Do what you gotta do. We'll talk later, no prob.

Serious business Check it out, V. Got this email from a lifelong fan. It's serious. Gotta write her back. Dear Mr. Eurodyne, the day we both have been waiting for is finally upon us! I got rid of my husband, my house and all the other remnants of my former life. Now, I'm truly ready to give you my heart and all my other organs, should you desire them. You are the Sun and I am the Moon - I live to bask in your radiant brilliance. I love you, Mr. Eurodyne, and eagerly anticipate the time we'll finally be together. We will meet soon - I'm sure you know exactly where." She also sent me a gift card to a junk shop in Providence, wherever the fuck that is. It's clear she's nuts, just not sure if it's the murder-suicide variety. She writes me same day every year, like clockwork. What if she dissolved her man in a vat of acid, burned down her house and now she's sharpening her sickle cuz I'm next!? What are we gonna do, V??? * You really worried about her? More importantly: Kerry Eurodyne actually reads fan mail? Adorable. Yeah, yeah, Kovachek usually deals with all that shit. Even signs photos and sends them to the fans. But the fucker always forwards stuff from this crazy broad. Gets his rocks off fuckin with my blood pressure. Anyway, thought you might get a kick out if it. Seriously though, I should probably do something. Don't want her to knock on my bedroom door a year from now. * What, your first psycho groupie? Unbelievable :D Don't worry about it. We'll deal with her. Fuckin preem. What should I do, V? Ideas?? * Call the Providence PD. Let them scare her off? Or better yet, put her in a straitjacket? Boooring! 'Sides, cops mean lawyers and I hate dealing with them even more than I hate Kovachek's guts. No worries, I'll think of something else.You're in charge here. * Why not have a bit of fun? Write her back, give her Kovachek's address and say you'll be waiting for her there exactly one year from now :P Hahahaha you beautiful fucking GENIUS! Think I'll do exactly that. He'll shit himself when he sees her! We'll set up a camera and film it, too. Can't wait!Not worth your time. * She probably thinks she's pregnant with Lizzy Wizzy's love child, too. Check if the store has a netpage, see if they ship to NC and get yourself something nice! Smart! I'll see if they have anything worth my while. Get myself a studded choker. Or one of them Russian stacky doll-in-a-doll-in-a-doll things. Thanks, V! Later

Truth or Dare! I'm boooooooored, V. Let's play Truth or Dare! :D * Really don't have time for this, Ker. Cmon, don't be like that. TRUTH or DARE??? * Fuck it. Dare. OK, here it goes. Hope I got your full attention! OKOK here's your dare: "Survive one year with a rockstar" :D * Cheeky ;) Guess I can give it a try ;) * Don't know if I have time for that, Kerry. * Truth! Got nothing to hide. Here it goes: "After a little good morning sex, what I really want is…" * Coffee and cigarettes. Glass of whiskey if I need a little hair of the dog…

* Scrambled eggs. Clearly.

Puzzle by yrs truly V! Made one of them picture riddles for you, V! Wanna see it? :D Fuck yeah you do! Heeeere goes! …69 <3 * Not right now, Kerry. Got some other things on my mind… No worries. Listen, we all have days like this. Thinking of you here with my little puzzle, hope that helps :* * Really, Ker? Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. Yeah, yeah, just warming up! Okay, get ready for round two! |$| >< #o.O# ;( * Kerry slapped the shit out of Kovachek! * Rockstars are the best spankers! Sorry, all you get is a kiss :* * My man is shit at puzzles :* You got it, you shrewd beast :D Congrats! Your reward - a Kerry Eurodyne sextape! Now all that's left is to shoot it :P I'll send you something sweet <3

Personality test You're not gonna believe this, V. I took one of those personality tests and apparently, I'm a NARCISSIST! Can you believe that shit?? * You, a narcissist? That can't be right. I know, right? Good thing you're smart about these things. You're so sweet, babe :* * Might be some truth to it if I'm REAL honest :) You do… tend to be an arrogant snob. Not to mention your ego's the size of a small planet :* Haha took the test again and now it says I'm a sociopath! Told you it's all bullshit! Told you I'm not a narcissist! Honestly you should listen to me, I'm smarter than whatever "scientist" came up with this shit!

Ah V fuuuck worlds biggest hangover, shakes and willies. Need a kind soul to tell me I'll come out the other side OK :-/ my age be damned ;-| * Textin ya from Dtown, 'hood's the very embodiment of shakes and willies * Got a gig, mebbe not worlds biggest but mondo anyway. This is me needin assurance I'll come out the other end in 1 piece Ever in the thick of shit, eh? It's where your&Johnny's minds meet, both uber vibe on it. JS better be fuckin happy - is he? * Need better candy to pop at raves, physio venting helps, mutes nerves, you'll stride strong, won't bother us workin peeps! Srsly V - soundin like you need time off, ad hoc vacay. U know, throw the monkey off your back, dunno, air your skull sponge. * Could be, just not now Handlin ginormous gig in Dogtown. Elbow deep in it, serious as a heart attack. * That an invite….? ;> Dunno, maybe…? My door's wiiiiiiide open, always ;> * Got this biz I gotta tend to first, one way or another… Oh ok mystery man - you do you. gotta say, findin this diss kinda titillating. Is it the masochist in me? tension's… ooooh, got my mouth watering. * Right, I know. One of these days - surprise! You'll see, be at your front door. Only if I'm home, obvi. You're textin a raucous, go-get-'em busy man… * OOO-K. So get lost, find a release. * Hmm, you're temptin me to call. Will do, given time. Do do do, plz. I'll be waitin <3

OK then I'll play support - we're all gonna all right, better'n all right - golden Which is DEF NOT me now - after a fuckin weird-ass 48 hrs, and this is me talkin…! just straaange… like unbelievably so Ahem, got stories to tell, solid gold * well, yeah, might find it a lil hard to believe… welp, hope you're whole and fine and happy. If you are, suck it. Dissin somebody like this - not nova, choom, supra unpreem * OK spill So dig this - meet-up w the enemy, competing publishing bitchez. Top dogz, bubbly flowin, rails vanishing up noses - all in back of a stretch cuz they out to impress my ass with their asses. Kinda sad, really. Gotta give 'em an e for effort, tho - they say: choom, got a mountain o' eddies for ya. N I say, really - where from? N they say, our mountain's a volcano, it'll spew scratch like lava… Hm i say, how's that? N they say, Zetatech product placement - next tour, choom so I says let's go - Zetatech now! they practically jizz. Zetatech HQ I get out, drop my pants and moon eveybody lookin out the windows of the building while I give the bitchez in the limo the finger at the same time. N i called Delamain.\nDel and me, we rollin, talkin anti-iperialism - any sense in it given the state of the world? Know what? we actually come to a conclusion - that nuthin makes sense anymore. So we go on rollin, and go on talkin and drinnk myself into grief. 18 hours later Del dropped me by my crib. He wished me GOOD LUCK IN THIS WORLD. choom was deep depressed, so much so he gave me a discount * Could've happened to Kerry and Kerry alone, that Plain to see, admit it, I just might be the king of NC's nightlife * vive le roi! and may the consort bask in his light ;> xoxo * hm, yeah, no titles more important than that… BETTER FUCKIN BELIEVE IT. * Oooh could go for a convo about life's futility. But DT takes no prisoners forgives no mistakes - need to focus. salty! somebody's in a m0000d * well, just don't see your parties and hangovers as overly important to me just now, if ever * yeah, sorry, just this gig, shitstorm, tense, lots to handle OK I get it, all crystal. Need a lil cheerin up or just leave you the fuck alone? * may be better off just leavin me alone, I'll ping you later, OK? say no more, luv ya and dreamin daily about your sweet tush <3 Eurodyne out * cheerin up, plz :) OK catch: How ya get a bass player to have that gleam in his eye? Shine a flashlight in his ear. That help any? * yup, did wonders :D thx raise you on the holo later, 'kay? * hm, not great, but I won't hold it against you. cute of you to try ok, so here's somethin to keep you warm at night in the meantime, you sweet precious thing <3

You doing anything? Yo, why haven't you shot me a message or nothin? I'm sitting over here like a dumbass waitin for my phone to start buzzin… * Sorry, Ker! You know how it is, life and shit… I know I know, didn't mean to be a total prick * I was just about to text you! Uh huh… suuuure… * You coulda shot me one too, y'know :P The fuck do you think I'm doin right now?!? So listen, how busy are ya? Gotta admit, I'm gettin the itch real bad. Like, a good itch, to see you I mean. * Sounds great! My megabuilding pad maybe? A megabuilding, huh? I mean, sure, guess that'll work… * Then I'll be waitin for ya at my Northside apartment :) Preem. Then I'll get there when I get there. * Let's meet up in Japantown. Just a hop and a skip for you ;) Perfect! * Can you drive over to the Glen? Love to see you too <3 I can do whatever the fuck I want. * Whaddaya say to a little date downtown? My Corpo Plaza place? Ohhh baby, my ass is already out the door! * I'm free! Wanna swing by Dogtown? You outta your mind? No fucking way! Either we meet in NC proper or I ain't goin out. Don't forget to tidy up a bit, yeah? ;)

Goooood morning, Night City! And you, V! Listen, I'm bored outta my mind. Wanna be bored together at least? You asleep? :P Oh, what's that? You want me to come over? Sure! You're one hot piece of ass, you know that right? You were in my dream last night. A good one. Don't worry, I ain't mad at dream V or nothin - in fact I wanna meet up! I hit a creative block, need some inspiration. I need you. I'm coming over. * Sounds good :) Megabuilding apartment then. Hope you remember which one's mine! On my way! * Genius idea from a genius himself. I'll be waitin for ya in Northside <3 Guess this means I have to change outta my bathrobe. The sacrifices we make! * Japantown. Now. :P Preem! Callin a Delamain right now! * Missed you too. Come to the Glen :) * Sounds like it's time for a trip downtown. My Corpo Plaza pad to be exact * Swing by Dogtown, I'll show you my fixer-upper :P Over my cold, dead, bullet-riddled body! The fuck you even doing there?! Get back to civilization, V! * haha XD so, right now's not good, but don't worry - I'll be thinkin of ya ;) Oh so that's how you wanna play this… nah, just messin, V. wink, wink. I'll catch ya another time!

I like you, V. Thought I owed you a little reminder of that. And hey, not to impose or nothin, but if you wanna spend some more time together, don't be such a coward about it, y'know? Hit me up!! * I like you too, Kerry. I'll let ya know :) Ain't we an adorable fuckin pair of sweethearts! Ha! * No imposing. I'd love to see you again soon too ;) Careful with those boundaries now, V. Let em down too far and I might just move right in! * Course! Soon as I find some time, you'll be the first to know! You honor me, sir! Hang tough out there, V. And remember - don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Hey, Ker! Life's been feelin a lil empty without ya… wanna meet up? So, wanna see me again? Fuck yeah! Your place ok? Heeey! I do, I do! Just… can't right now. Schedule's crammed. But I'll be in touch real soon!

I fucking love surprises! Yo, V, this is a nice ride! Seems like whenever you're on my mind all I can think about is rides ;) * Yeah I know ;) * I love surprising you :) As crazy as my life is, without you it'd be boring as hell <3 Thanks for the flowers! Thank christ they're artificial cuz I'm allergic to pollen. Sneezing, goopy eyes, the whole fuckin thing. Also… "Feedback"? What? Did we hook up at one of my concerts? Honestly I can't remember. * Totally. Speaker feedback fused our audio systems somehow. Made the sex interesting at least. Whaaa, well whatever, I don't need the whole sciency mumbo jumbo :D * You kiddin? How could you forget! Man, what the fuck was I on that night…

Won't see me for a while Gonna need to vanish for a while maybe a month or so. Hope you didn't have any romantic escapades planned and all set up :P Nooo :( Who'm I gonna take to the N54 rave then? :((( * Shiiiit mean to say I'm gonna miss an N54 party? Wanted to surprise you… Real fucking shame :/ I know ;( We'll crash multiple raves when I'm back in town tho :) Promise! * Take someone else feel free but just this once. Long as you promise - no hand holdin' no indecent stuff no INTIMACY mental neither :P Oh please faithful's my middle name :* Fuck really wish you could make it Make it up to you 100%

Long time no see :] There's this merc I know and haven't seen for a while… oh yeah it's you! :D C'mon pick up gotta tell you how wasted me and Slavoy McAllister got at this N54 rave xD Think we might've burnt down half the studio… by accident ofc XDD Hey, V? Pick up, choom Still can't top you 'n' me as a wrecking crew ;) Fuck, you ok? Pick up dammit not funny V 13 missed calls from: Kerry Eurodyne

You ghosting me? Fuck, pick up! Really?! Can't even bother to send ONE word?! Just gonna pretend like nothin happened, huh? COWARD

[aboringredmop]

k still don't know how im gonna post the videos (YouTube? unlisted?someone please help) but I can't sleep so I thought it'd write down whatever I remember happening!

(edit: here's the full recording! )

Becky and Joe walked on stage wearing sunglasses and red leather jackets and threw 3 of the trio plushies into the crowd. didn't get one unfortunately but it's really cool some people got free plushies :)

they made this robot child called the Inspiration Child, who's clearly meant to be a nod to ai (can learn from our show and generate it's own content!)

they explained how they met (and had some dodgy animated retelling), and how they started with small projects like commercials and music videos, until they came up with designs of the trio (and a mysterious fourth fella)

they made the designs first, then made the set, then the song and finally wrote the script for creativity. red guy was just a red mop head with legs at first ("alien squid thing") but Joe put the red guy head on for shits and giggles once and Becky thought it was hilarious so they kept it in the show

they were really not expecting it to blow up, and when Sundance called because they wanted to show creativity Becky thought it was a scam caller lol

they talked about the kickstarter and the credit card fraud kid. the mailed him saying "hey maybe dont do that" but the kid didnt know how to undo it cuz he just found a website full of credit card information and went ham, so Becky and Joe had to contact kickstarter because people were pulling out of the funding because they thought the project was overfunded (kickstarter was very difficult to contact)

they also made (lighthearted) fun of nsfw fluffybird art ((no padlock 😔) "using OUR characters to act out their SICK FANTASIES" - Becky) and theorists, especially because most if not all of the webseries is just them fucking around.

Inspiration Child also says something along the lines of "wow what a cool show with a great message of how corrupt the media is. I hate the media!"

Becky and Joe had these rules to make the show as vague as possible (no pop culture references, no names, no swearing and way too much detail put into small things)(the duck guy drag queen absolutely obliterates the no swearing rule lol)

they talk about the pilot, how they focused too much on the story because they felt like they had to due to it being on the big screen now, and how it ended up ruining the atmosphere and such of the pilot. they did show the entire thing sped up but my phone sucks ass so I could not get it to focus correctly. I'll see what I can salvage so you people can dissect frames of your blorbo you're Legally Not Allowed To See (which is also the official reason we don't get the pilot)

also pilot concept art showed that Mean Steve is in fact just called Key

they showed a whole post-it wall full of ideas for the tv show. don't know how much I got on footage, but what stood out most to me were 2 episodes called Money and Christmas. Joe mentioned "clock in a wheelchair" specifically

also really fun fact. Becky made the Lesley suit during covid, and pretty much threatened Baker into writing a human character into the show to wear it. concept art also shows Lesley with a mask made out of the same fabric, don't know if this was part of the original suit tho

they showed Warrens old models (?). he was gonna be a wayy more ugly looking silicone pug-worm thing y'all got lucky with the bald fuck

lily and todney were directly based off of some cancelled show about two porcelain doll children with panda parents. do not for the life of me remember what it was called but Becky and Joe were very enthousiastic about it (UPDATE: Candy and Andy!)

international release of the show soon!

Inspiration Child talks about what he's learned and sings a little song, then generates his own dhmis inspired content of a cult meeting in a forest at night. the dhmis Discord server called this "potential new content" but I doubt it

3 cultists walk on stage, face the screen backs to the crowd, drop their cloaks and boom! drag queens!!!

they were not mentioned on the site or during earlier parts of the show at all so they were a complete surprise. I asked Becky about it later during the night and she said she really wanted them there, so she asked and they were excited to! hope this means more official content with them soon I love them

they dance to There's Three Of Us, then Duck lipsings the shredder song which turns into a techno remix while Red and Yellow dance during the background

then Duck and Yellow make out while Red tries to undress to the instrumentals of the Fucked Up Part of Creativity but can't get out of his suit on time before the song ends

the drag queens, Becky and Joe and the Inspiration Child walk around during the meet and greet later and I got signatures from all of them! except inspiration child he didn't have thumbs

the drag queens were so fucking funny. Duck adopted inspiration child and loudly yelled at everyone to "GET AWAY FROM MY FUCKING CHILD" (their duck voice is sooo good). yellow stood in a corner staring at a wall for like 10 minutes and red was constantly awkwardly hovering just outside the frames of pictures (and also could not see shit lmao)

Becky liked my shirt! (the one with the melting trio heads) said she handdrew it

I'll post the signatures and some more stuff tomorrow because it is. 5 am

edit Heres the signatures! yellow guys is Italian I think? and means hi I love you :)

(the liyskaen is duck trying to spell my name. they got pretty close)

[strawberrystealer]

Bungo Stray Dogs- What I think they’d do if someone kidnapped you

Characters: Fyodor, Nikolai, Sigma, and Akutagawa

For some reason I think about this a lot sooo why not write about it!

Fyodor- 

Angry, upset, annoyed, all of those would be understatements

The pure rage that would fill this mans body once he gets the news-

If he saw like a letter or something thats like “Ayo we got ur bae come get them or they die lmaooo #livelaughlove” But a lot more sinister and stuff he’d go straight there and uhhh

Basically kill everyone there using his ability of course

He’d be so quick about it too, like drop everything he was doing and go straight there

Once he’s at the place in like the span of a few seconds everyone’s already dead and he goes over to you and idk takes off your blind fold or whatever they have on you

He becomes the softest man you’ve ever seen just for that moment cuz he doesn’t know what you’ve been through and he doesn’t want to cause you anymore pain

Once you two get home he’ll run a bath for you or something and stay by your side

He’ll make sure no one ever touches you again, he can’t ever risk losing you.

Nikolai- 

I bet he’d be like coming home all cheerful, ready to come mess with you or something and... you’re not on the couch.

Not in your room, the bathroom, anywhere

The smile immediately drops from his face and he gets worried

But then again he probably does this all the time so he texts you and you don’t respond??

Now he’s 10 times more worried than he was before!

Probably not a lot tho cuz he probably knows where you are

If thats the case then he just goes the the location and pays you a lil visit

Knocks on the door like a gentleman ofc 

But when they open it-

BOOM

“QUIZ TIME!!! Where’s my lovely little s/o?? Can you guess??” And he looks over and sees you inside the house.

Then he’d immediately kill move the kind gentleman into a burning fire! So sweet ik

He’d get to you and ofc be worried but once he finds out you’re okay he’ll be fine and back to his normal goofy self 

Unless you want the more realistic take where he cant stop thinking about it and thinks its his fault for weeks but is also trying to rid himself of emotions so ofc he cant be scared or guilty so he’s constantly battling himself on whether or not its his fault and if you still even like you because he might not have been there just in time to save you.

Sigma- 

He’d be so unbelievably worried 

He wouldn’t know who did it, why, how, or anything and he’d be just as confused as you probably are 

He’d probably have to ask for help, contemplate calling the cops but then realizes hes fr a terrorist he cant do that-

So he asks Fyodor for help and after a bit of pleading Fyodor gives him the location of where you and your abductor are

Once Sigma gets there, with some guns he’s probably scared to use, he sees the man that kidnapped you

Its gonna be like “if you give me ur casino ill give u your s/o” type of shit (super unrealistic but its all I can think of rn)

So obviously ur man isnt having that and shoots him

I mean he had no problem shooting that red haired girl (whatever her name is in the hunting dogs) so he probably wouldn’t have a problem killing some weak guy to get his lover back

Once he gets you safe he’ll keep asking if you’re okay alllll the time just because he’s so scared

“Darling are you sure you’re okay?? He seemed really scary... he didn’t hurt you did he? Do you need any bandages?”

Akutagawa- 

He looks completely unfazed

Like he’ll read some letter telling him to come get you or you die and be like “...Ugh not this again” 

He will get you though

And he is slightly scared but not really because he knows you’ll be fine once he gets you

When he gets to the place he doesn’t even knock on the door

He just punches a big ass hole in it with his ability and goes through it 

Also kills your abductor<3

Once he gets you he’s quiet

He’ll lightly hug you, glad your alive and the drive home will be silent

He’s considering weather he should be all “you’re so weak how’d you even get kidnapped” or “are you okay? ... He didn’t do any physical abuse to you, correct?” But both of them sound weird to him so he’s silent

When you get home he’ll prepare anything you wish

Tea? Dinner? Blankets? Anything, he’ll do for you

He does love you and he was very worried its just he has a poor way of showing it, thats all :)

[mrschristensen]

Yesss that’s absolutely fine can’t wait to read it 😁😁😁

Conflicted

(link to og ask)

WARNINGS: eventual smut/porn w plot (READ AT YOUR OWN RISK), female s/o, threesome (the boys aren’t dating each other tho cuz INCEST), unprotected sex (piv), dp (double penetration), praise, degradation, name calling (slut), a bit of worship, oral/facefucking (m receiving), brief tit and pussy slapping, brief nipple play, a bit of aftercare, lmk if I missed any!

synopsis: The twins take their best friend on a trip with their family, and end up confessing things that weren't wanted to be said.

-> note: Scott still does have sexual trauma, but it was with his aunt (who they now have a restraining order against). I’m so sorry this took so long!

WC: 1,922 words

Sam and Scott were going on a trip to Maine; their grandparents had owned a house there and they handed it down to their parents, so now they used it as a vacation home whenever they were going up there for a bit. This time, though, they wanted to bring an extra guest.

"Morning, mom," Scott said as he came down the stairs from his room. Sam was already in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal. It was rare to see him actually eating elsewhere besides his own room, but his excuse was he "just felt like it."

"Hi, sweetie," she responds lovingly as she makes herself some waffles, "what do you want for breakfast?"

"Uhm... I'll just have some cereal," he decides, grabbing the box and pouring some into a bowl he fetches as well.

The silence was deafening, and all it did was create a slight tension in the room. "Mom..." Scott starts, and he looks at Sam, raising his eyebrows at him. They discussed this last night, wanting to ask to bring their best friend (and crush) along with them, but they never really came to a final thought. Sam shook his head quickly, but stopped and continued eating his food normally when their mother turned around.

"Yes?" she said. "What is it?"

He hesitates for a minute, wondering if he should give into not asking like his brother wanted him to, but he decided to ask anyways, being the asshole he is. "...Can our friend come with us to Maine?"

Sam groaned, slamming his head onto the island in frustration, which earned him a silently scolding look from his mother. He was fucked as soon as Sam could get him alone.

"The one that dresses like you?" she asks, to which he nods. "...Well, we all like her and enjoy her company. So, to be honest, I don't see why not."

Scott's eyes widened in surprise, and Sam's head shot up, his expression one of pure shock too. "What?" their voices rung out through the kitchen.

"A thing at work popped up, emergency, so I can't go with you guys. However, I'd be more than happy if she went with you both, so then you'll have someone else to hang out with. I was going to invite her anyways."

They certainly didn't see that coming.

That’s how they ended up loading up their mom’s van with their bags, waiting for her to show up. Their hearts pounded in their ears, the tension only heightening with each passing second.

And then she showed up, wearing a simple sweatshirt and sweatpants. It was going to be a long ride, so it made sense why she’d want to dress comfortable. But all it did was make their cocks harden in their pants. They thought she looked good in anything; she could wear a potato sack and they’d still get aroused.

“Hey, guys,” she greets as she carries her bags with her, gently putting them on the ground to return the hugs they immediately gave her. They were acting like they were little kids on Christmas with how excited they were.

“Hey,” Sam said, ruffling her hair a bit playfully. “You excited?”

“You should be,” Scott chimed in, “the place we have in Maine is huge. We got jet skis and kayaks for the lake, we got a shit ton of games… It’s gonna be so fuckin’ fun.”

"I bet," she responds as she puts her bags in the back, the twins following suit with theirs. Sam couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt; she might just think of them as friends, but they wanted something more. What if they completely screwed up if they told her, and that their friendship was ruined?

Scott felt the sudden tension from his brother, since they're pretty much involuntarily synced, and elbows him lightly. They both lock in a stare, and immediately, Scott knows what he's thinking about. "It'll be fine, man," he whispers to his brother.

"Are you sure about that?" he murmurs back, hoping it didn't seem suspicious. However, he felt a bit of relief since she was already opening the door and getting in the car. "I just... I don't know about this, dude."

"We at least gotta try," Scott says, "because we'll never know if we don't. You know she ain't gonna make the first move if she does feel the same."

Sam nods a little, "I know, I know. I guess we can try... I at least wanna stay friends. But what if she doesn't wanna?"

He sighs. "Then we'll just have to live with that. Somehow."

The both of them just decide it's probably the best that they stop talking, and they both get in the car as well. They weren't going to get anywhere just sitting there with their dicks painfully hard.

Once they got there, they settled in, unpacking their things and chilling out on the couch. The place was massive, and they took pride in it as they saw how awestruck she was. They were right on the water, too, which made it even more of a beautiful area.

"I wanna go for a quick swim," she states, getting up from the couch, "you two can come if you want. Then we can watch a bunch of horror movies when I get back, like we wanted."

They nod, and Scott looks over the couch. "I'll come," he says, turning off whatever random movie they put on.

Sam only took the initiative, feeling a little bit of jealousy, "I'll come too."

And so they all changed into swimwear, and the twins couldn't help but stare as they saw her in a black bikini. She smirked, rolling her eyes playfully. "Like what you see?"

They snapped out of their trance, their faces flushing a bit in embarrassment. They were way too alike sometimes.

She chuckled, "I'm just fucking with you guys."

They made their way to the dock, and she was the first jump in, emerging a few seconds later and moving her hair away from her face. "C'mon, you chickens!" she called out. "The water's perfect."

Sam looked at his brother, who simply shrugged, before following suit and jumping in. Coming up a few seconds later, he gestured for Sam to join them. He sighed, rolling his eyes before doing the same.

Eventually it became a warzone, all of them splashing water at each other and laughing. It was perfect, the addition of the sunset making the moment even more memorable, and Sam couldn't hold it in anymore. As she sent water towards him, he went under, popping up right in front of her.

His blue-grey eyes locked on hers, and they both just looked at each other for a moment before he cupped her face and kissed her passionately. Surprisingly, she was kissing back. Thank god, that would've been awkward.

Scott, for one, was shocked. Wasn't Sam literally the one that was reluctant to do this in the first place a few hours before? However, he didn't object to the idea, making his way over to the two. He put himself behind her, grabbing her hips and kissing her neck.

She moaned a bit into the kiss as she got double the attention, wrapping her arms around Sam's neck as their tongues danced.

He picked her up while still kissing her, her legs wrapping around his waist, and carried her inside, Scott following the two eagerly. They were in for a wild ride.

They laid a towel on the bed, and put her down on top of it, taking a second to just admire her there. Her hair was fanned out above her head, as if it were a halo, and she was panting for air she was trying to regain from the heated kiss. They made quick work of removing their swimwear, and soon all three of them were naked.

They couldn't even believe this was happening right now, but she wasn't objecting to anything, so they took it as the hint that she wanted this just as much.

"Jus' tell us if it's too much, mkay?" Sam murmurs, to which she nods in response.

She then looks over at Scott. "Are you sure about this, Scotty?" she asks, "I don't want you to force yourself-"

"I've never wanted anything more in my entire life," he cuts her off. "I'm okay. Trust me."

He then then grabbed her hips, bringing her to the edge of the bed, his cock right at her entrance. "I'm goin' first."

Sam rolled his eyes and got on the bed above her, tapping the fat head of his dick to her lips. "Kiss."

She obeyed, giving little kisses to his tip like she were worshipping him. He smirked, satisfied. "Good girl... gonna have to make you worship me a lot more often. Lick."

She once again complied, kitten licking the throbbing head. He sighed in content, watching her submit to him as Scott pushed inside her.

She gasped, her head tilting back a bit so now her nose was touching Sam's tip, and he slapped her breast, making her cry out. "I didn't tell you to stop, slut," he growls, and she immediately goes back to kissing and licking, to which he hums in approval. "There y' go. Good fuckin' girl."

Scott set an unimaginable pace, barely giving her time to adjust. He just fit so perfectly, how could he resist? "Oh my fuck, Sam. You're gonna love this pussy just as much as I am," he grunted, "fit so nicely. She was so made for us."

"Yeah?" he says to his brother, before giving her another command. "Open."

She opens her mouth, and he slides inside, ignoring her tiny gag and he thrust into her throat. "Oh wow, baby. You're a fuckin' natural. Takin' us like a pro."

"I'm gonna cum!" she whimpered, though it was muffled because she had Sam's cock stuffed down her throat. They could make out what she said, though, and Scott only sped up, even though it felt like he was already at maximum speed.

"C'mon, cum for us," Scott coaxed, moving his hand to give little slaps on her clit, amplifying her pleasure. At the same time, Sam pinched both her nipples while still fucking her face, sending her over the edge and squirting all over Scott's cock.

He groaned and followed shortly after, shooting ropes of his hot seed inside her, her walls milking him for every last drop. Sam came at the same time as his brother, ironically, releasing his cum into her mouth and pulling out shortly after. "Show me," he commands, to which she sticks her tongue out, his seed on her tongue and in her mouth. He hums in content, smirking, "Swallow." She complies, and he leans down to kiss her.

Scott had a smug smirk on his face, too, pulling out to admire his work and watch his cum drip from her greedy hole. "Let's switch."

After a long, intense night, the three of them cuddled under the sheets, her in the middle, Scott in front of her and Sam behind her.

"...I love you guys," she whispers, still overstimulated from all the rounds they had.

Sam smiles, kissing her cheek from behind. "I love you too."

"And I love you too," Scott adds, not wanting to give his brother the upper hand, kissing her forehead.

She smiles to herself, "So, are we're like... dating now?"

"Well, duh," Sam responds, putting his chin on her head. "Just not dating... each other, y'know."

Scott nods in agreement. "But we're gonna have to get used to sharing, then."

Sam smirks a bit, "I'm fine with that."

HOPE YOU ENJOYED! <3

[rayassecretlife]

Holy shit.. That Neteyam fic you just blessed us with did unholy things for and to me💕💕💕👀 very good that you got carried away cuz you did hell of a good job 🌚💕

I loved every word of it and every second reading it 🙈💓 If i would be called greedy if i asked you for more of soon-to-be-dad Neteyam 🙇🏻‍♀️ then so be it. More Neteyaaam pleaseee

Ahhhhh thank you so much, I was not expecting the love I’m getting from writing so this means a lot 💙. Im in a smut writing mood so here’s this even tho it doesn’t focus on him being a father but definitely gives you more of an insight on their relationship! I will make a part two to this fulllll of dad moments, I have a lot of ideas for that

Requests are open!!! It won’t let me put the shortcut under my bio but you can request using the circle in the top right corner once on my page 🫶🏼

Such a tease

Pairing: Adult!Neteyam x Fem!Omaticaya!reader

PART 2 HERE

Summary: It had been only two years after you gave birth to your first born, But Neteyam had already started planning your next. Except, you two needed to make it past your 4 year Anniversary first.

Warning(s): smutttt (minors DNI), NETEYAM BEING A TEASE, Mature language, Switch Dom!neteyam, praise kink, semi Public f!ngering, pure filth honestly.

Not proof read, sorry for mistakes!!!!

It was finally the day you’d been waiting for—the day you bragged about to the entire clan for months on end just thinking about it. It was a beautiful day too, the sound of the trees leaf’s blowing through the breeze and the small chirps of birds, most importantly, the faint breathing above you.

You and Neteyam’s 4 year anniversary

Your eyes fluttered open at the sound, gaze meeting the beautiful boy above me who had still been fast asleep.

You smile as you study your mates features, your fingertips tracing lines over his biceps. He always slept in later then you—and luckily, your daughter hadn’t been up yet to interrupt his slumber. Like always, his arms were wrapped around you firmly—even when he was sleeping. He never let you go, waking up everytime you’d try to get out of his grasp at night to do something.

And yes, you heard that right, you and Neteyam had a daughter. Manaia, a beautiful little girl with the longest hair you had ever seen, her appearance favoriting Neteyam’s features much more then yours. She was so sweet and learned pretty quickly just like him, even only being 2.

Usually, she’d be the one to wake the both of you up, but Neteyam almost always took care of her for you, ushering you to stay in bed and telling you he’d handle it. He hated waking up before she was born, wanting to stay in bed all day long instead of working, but now? Now he loved waking up to take care of her and you, making you both breakfast if you slept in. The bond he had with her was so adorable, he’d even let her do his face paint before he went hunting.

You loved how Neteyam was with Naia, how gentle and protective he had been over her. You knew she was going to follow in Neteyam’s footsteps once she grew older, becoming a warrior. You didn’t see the problem with it, but Neteyam always overprotected her, going on and on about how she didn’t need to be a warrior because he’d always protect her.

She’s often sleep between you two at night, both you and her curled up to Neteyam for comfort. Today, it was just you two, because as soon as you ate breakfast, you had to go help Mo’at with the people, and your parents would be taking Naia for the night so you and him could be alone for a night.

You were beyond excited. You hadn’t had a day to yourself in so long due to you and him always working or tending to your daughter, never finding time for each other except for when you slept.

You nuzzled closer to your mate, his warmth making you smile against his chest. You felt him shuffle as you laid your head under his chin, inhaling his forestry scent. You felt so safe, like nothing in the world could touch you as long as he was here.

“Good morning, pretty girl” Your heart thumps against your chest at his voice, a smile tugging at your lips as you looked up, his eyes still closed.

"Ma’Teyam" you whispered just above a breath, reaching up to touch his braids. He was gorgeous—the most handsome boy you had ever seen. “We have to get up soon”

“I think we can spare a few more minutes” He hums, taking hold of the back of your leg to swing it over onto his lap. You laugh at his words, allowing him to sit you in a straddle, hands laid at your hips as you lean down to the boy, pressing your lips to his.

You wished you could have taken the day off to spend with each other, just one day to yourselves without a care in the world—all alone, secluded from everyone. Neteyam loved that idea, having you all to himself for a day? You could do so much, like you had been teenagers again.

He guides your hips against his and you hum against his lips, pulling away once you felt what he was trying to show you. “Neteyam, we can’t” He ignored you, sitting up so you had now been sitting in his lap, against him as he captured your lips in another kiss.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, hands entwined in his hair as his hands roamed your body. It wasn’t even in a sexual way, but you couldn’t think of much else. You moaned against him, a hand laid against his chest. That was it. He had started, and you prayed to Eywa he was gonna finish it.

“Do you want breakfast, Beautiful?” He pulls away but you shake your head, twisting one of his braids between your finger.

“You got me started, Teyam” You whine and his forehead creased at your words, titling his head like he had been studying your face.

“I was just kissing you, baby. I can’t kiss you?” You glared at your mate clearly acting stupid and he kissed your cheek, removing his hands from you. “I’m gonna make breakfast” he pulled you off of him gently, getting out of your hammock.

“Nete-“

“You want fruit? Like usual?” He asks, completely debunking your confusion as he tied his hair up. “Fruit it is” he leaned down to you, giving you a small kiss, “happy anniversary, Pretty girl”

He left you dumbfounded on your shared hammock, not saying anything else or giving you another look before he went on his way. You were so confused, and so very angry. He did not just pull that on your anniversary.

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ * 。° 。 • ˚《

Time went by during the day while you helped Mo’at with the wounded warriors that came in and out of the tent, having to deal with multiple gashes from the hunting party they had just attended to.

You barely spoke to Neteyam when you left the cave, letting him hand your daughter off to his mother while you made your way to the healers tent. You wore his favorite family appropriate clothing, and his eyes wouldn’t leave your body when you left—even with Mo’at there.

“You take forever” you smacked the boys head making him hiss, Rubbing the spot you hit. “It wasn’t even that serious!” The youngest sully brother exclaimed. He had only been there for five minutes.

“It’s only been five minutes, Lo’ak” You argue, the sound of your name being called cutting him off before he could speak.

“Y/N, look!” Tuk ran into the tent, slowing down when Mo’at yelled at her. “I found so many!” She sat next to you, showing you the many flowers that sat in her hand.

“Their so pretty, Tuk” you ruffled her hair as she started to name them, showing them to you one by one.

“And this is my favorite one!” Tuk giggled, showing you a dark blue flower she had picked and you laughed, continuing to patch Lo’ak’s back. “I can’t wait to have an Ikran, she’s gonna be pink!”

“Tuk, they can’t be pin-ow!” Lo’ak turned to glare at you, a smile appearing across your face as you lifted your foot from his tail. “Would you stop with that!”

A whistle echoed from outside, getting closer to the tent as you continued to listen to Tuk talk about her future ikran. You already knew it was him, his scent giving him away.

“Ah, my baby bro, the mighty warrior” Your mate teased, ruffling his brothers hair. “Weren’t that mighty, huh?” Lo’ak pushed him away from you two, rolling his eyes at Neteyam’s laugh. You avoided contact with your mate, still angry from this morning. “What is it this time, Syulang?”

You ignore him, telling yourself to focus on Lo’ak’s wounds but you couldn’t when Neteyam’s gaze was practically tattooed to your face. You felt the heat rise in your cheeks as he walked toward you, standing above you without saying a word. Eywa, the effect he had on you…

“Okay, your done” you pat the brothers back, standing to your feet to put away the supplies you used on him. You drained the bloody cloth, Neteyam watching your every move very closely, almost amused at your pettiness. The sight of you in that outfit did so many things to him, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t ready to rip it off of you and take you right in that moment.

But Lo’ak must’ve noticed, because he just couldn’t help but ask, “isn’t it your anniversary?” While you stayed silent and to your tasks, Neteyam gave his brother a look, nodding toward the doorway out. “Looks like I’m way more mighty when it comes to relationships” Neteyam hissed at his brother, only making him laugh as he pulled Tuk to leave the tent with him, her little protesting voice making you frown.

You truly didn’t want to talk to him, not here and not now. It wasn’t even that you were mad, you were frustrated and he left you like that. You hummed as you placed a few herbs into one of the small stone bowls, crushing it at the sound of his voice.

“Fair play” His arms wrapped around your waist as he pressed his stomach against your back, his head between your neck watching you crush the herbal mix in your hands. “This outfit, you know what it does to me, don’t you?”

Even though your heart was beating out of your chest, you once again ignored the boy, not daring to show him how jelly he made your legs just by talking. “You can’t stay mad at me forever, baby. It’s our anniversary” your ears flatten against your head as you bite down on your bottom lip, feeling him pull you even closer then before, making it almost impossible not to feel what was between his legs.

“Neteyam, I am working” you dismiss him but he doesn’t care, only chuckling in your ear with a small squeeze to your hips before turning you to face him, a gasp leaving your mouth at the sudden movement.

He grabs the bowl from your hands and places it to the side, wrapping his hand around your throat to pull you closer to him. You looked around, worried Mo’at or another warrior would come walking in at any moment, but he didn’t let you continue.

Your breath catches in your thought as he pulls you up by your thighs, placing you on the cold Ledge that the herbal mix had previously been sitting on. You kept quiet but your body was crying for him to touch you, legs not being able to stay still like they were begging him to touch you.

“Aw, Baby. Your so cute when you beg” he praises, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. It was always so hard to stay mad at Neteyam, he knew you inside and out, making it impossible for you to disregard his presence. His hands traveled your body, slipping his tongue into your mouth before you could.

It wasn’t until you felt his hand enter your loincloth that you pulled away from him, shaking your head as you grabbed his wrist.

“Come on, Syulang. Let’s just act like teenagers again” his free hand cupped the side of your face and he moved closer, your silence being enough for him to resume his actions from before.

He kisses your lips again, a small moan escaping your mouth as you felt his fingers against your core, muffled by his mouth against your own. You tried your hardest to keep your cool but you couldn’t when it came to him, not even for a minute.

“So fucking wet, Baby. You like the idea of someone walking in, don’t you? Someone finding you completely drunk off my touch?” You whined, hands flying to his hair as you felt one of his fingers enter you, curling it against your walls and whispering sweet nothings into your ear. “Quiet or they’ll hear you”

“Neteyam” you whimper in his ear, your voice making his eyes squeeze shut. He was trying so hard to compose himself, but your pretty noises and the way you cried his name made it so hard. Thank Eywa the tent’s cloth that covered the entrance had been down, because someone definitely would’ve seen you by now.

“So good for me, baby. My pretty girl, you look so fucking good like this” his forehead pressed against yours as he sunk another finger inside you, watching your expression twist as you tugged on his braids.

“S-someone will hear” you choked lowly as he pumped his fingers into your core, curling them the deepest they could go. You watched him chuckle at your struggle and y ou felt that familiar feeling begin to build up in the pit of your stomach, hand grasping his arm as your head fell back against the wall. “Teyam, I can’t keep quiet..!” You whispered desperately into his ear, biting so hard onto your lip that you were sure you drew blood.

“Shhh, don’t worry about that, pretty girl. They won’t hear a thing” he kisses you and you cry into his mouth, pulling him closer to you. “You know I love you, Syulang”

“Mmm, I love you more” you pull his face back down to you, kissing his lips again. Something felt off, you were on cloud nine just a second ago, but now it felt like you looked stupid, moaning and begging over nothing. You looked down and sure enough, Neteyam had retracted his dripping fingers from your core, a smirk plastered across his face.

“That was fun, but I have to go take care of some things” You stare at the boy, not knowing whether to beg or yell. That stupid smirk on his face made you so angry, and how he looked at you while he sucked his fingers clean from your wetness, he was so fucking evil. “Why the long face? It felt good, didn’t it?”

You were angry, so very angry at your mate as you watched him feel no mercy for you—not even on your anniversary. You pulled your loincloth back into place and hopped off the counter, pushing him away from you. “If you don’t want to make me feel good, I’ll get Kaonu to do it” His once happy face now turned into an angry one, his eyes scanning your body only making him even more mad.

He knew you were just trying to get him mad, but it was working. Kaonu was the only guy who ever tried to get to you after Neteyam stated you were his, not a care in the world you had a mate and it made Neteyam so fucking angry.

You yelped as he pulled you to him by your neck once again, his other hand tugging your hair to make you look up at him. “I know your joking, but go near that Skxawng and I’ll fucking ruin you, got it?” Your knees fell weak at his voice but you kept your pride, staring back at him as he chuckled, shaking his head.

“Y/N? Oh, there you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Kiri entered the tent as you both looked over, a warrior walking in behind her. “I need you to patch this one up, it’s pretty bad”

Neteyam kissed the top of your head, leaning down to whisper in your ear, “I’ll see you tonight, Ma’Tìyawn” you watched him leave the tent with a stone cold expression, Kiri looking between you two with confusion.

“Okaaayy… I’m gonna go now” You nod your head, snapping out of your thoughts once she left and the boy sat on the ground. Oh Eywa, how you were going to kill your mate.

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ * 。° 。 • ˚《

“Y/N, I can’t let you take him, my grandmother said-“

“I don’t care, Kiri. I can take him, you go home” you cut her off, finishing up the last patch on the man in front of you. “Okay, your all good” You told the man, dropping the cloth into the bucket as he thanked you, leaving the now semi dark tent. It was late, but there was one more warrior left and you wanted to help. You were still mad at neteyam, and dreaded going home any time soon.

Kiri left after realizing she couldn’t win that argument, going to help Mo’at in her own tent. You heard the footsteps approach your tent and you called, telling them you’d be with them in just a minute.

“Y/N” Your stomach churned at the voice and you turn around, watching him walk through with a nervous laugh. “You uh… you look great”

Oh great mother, it was kaonu, and you prayed that Neteyam wasn’t on his way to pick you up. You smile at the man, walking toward him with a new bucket and ushering him to sit. Kaonu wasn’t a bad guy, he just didn’t have boundaries, and you knew If neteyam found out you were helping him after your talk, he’d be more than angry.

“How have you been?” You ask the male and he shrugs, watching as you wipe his bleeding arm off. “Are you still seeing Jhanua?” He shakes his head and silently tense, his eyes were on you so hard, and it made you slightly uncomfortable.

“Where’s Neteyam?”

“Kaonu, don’t start this, please” you sigh and he chuckles, shaking his head at your words. “He is your Ole’Eyktan, I am your Tsahìk and you need to respect that”

“How can I respect it when my Ole’Eyktan is mated to the most beautiful girl in the clan?” You glare at him, now he’d pissed you off. “He’s doesn’t deserve you”

“Stop talking before I hurt you even more, Kaonu” You patched his wounds, ignoring his next words just trying to get this over and done with. It wasn’t until you heard the voice outside the tent that your ears perked. “Shit”

You placed the bandages over his arm quickly, trying your hardest to finish before you were caught, but you should’ve known it was too late. By the time you were done, Neteyam was walking through the tents entrance, the smile on his face instantly fading once he locked eyes with the situation in front of him.

“Neteyam-“

“Speak of the devil” Kaonu mumbled under his breath before he stood to his feet after you, turning to give you a smile. “Great seeing you, Y/N” you looked down as he chuckled, making his way out of the tent with his head held high before stopping next to neteyam. “Happy anniversary by the way”

You didn’t move, afraid of what your mate had to say. You knew you shouldn’t have took that last warrior. You should have listened to kiri.

“My Sweet girl” He chuckled, but before you could look up, he was already gripping your arm, pulling you to him. “Let’s go” his voice was mean and his look was meaner. He didn’t understand how this even happened, he specifically told the healers you were not aloud to help him, even in an emergency.

So how the hell did he get into your tent?

“Neteyam, I promise I was just patching him up” you plead as you left the tent and headed to where his ikran sat, running your hands along its back before getting on. Neteyam enclosed your small frame between the two of them, kissing your head in attempt to sooth your nerves.

Great mother, what did you get yourself into…

Im so sorry guys but my keyboard is glitching like crazy so I have to make a part 2 💀. It is a SMUT so just a fair warning, link here: PART TWO

[whyse7vn]

BOYFRIEND -

[ot7 x reader]

GOLDEN

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

jimin: do you think i can give yeontan body dysmorphia if i show him pictures of those racer dogs??

cuz their like tall and skinny

and he’s like short and round

y/n: this one sided beef is insane

hobi: jimin wtf is wrong with you

tae: LEAVE MY DOG ALONe

he literally bit you once and all you fucking do is talk shit about him

jimin: fucking ugly nepo baby

ur lucky i don’t cook him and feed him to crabs

yoongi: get a grip

jk: guys how does birth control control birth

tae: it kills growing babies in the womb with lazers i think

hobi: what

jk: ok that makes sense

hobi: ?? no it doesn’t

jk: i wish i could control birth

jimin: abortion

yoongi: jungkook should of been

y/n: YOONGI

yoongi: sorry :3

jk: you think i could perform a abortion

jin: preform a shower

jimin: perform a diet

jin: perform a love life

jimin: perform youth

jin: perform a family that actually loves you

tae: woah

namjoon: ok

calculated all our living expenses and we need to cut down a lot

like we spend so much every month it’s not funny

what can we live without?

yoongi: jungkook probably

jin: OUR living expenses?

we do not live together!!!

tae: tf is a living expense?

y/n: is that from our silly little shared black card?

tae: WE HAVE A SHARED BLACK CARD??/!/!

yoongi: you guys still use that??

jk: i use it to rent fish

hobi: you can rent fish?

jk: yeah

i like to set them free

jimin: that feels illegal

jk: i ate one once tho

it was really sad :/

but i was really hungry

hobi: wtf

jimin: i only use that card for netflix and alcohol btw!!!!!

can’t have my accountant thinking i’m an alcoholic

namjoon: whose been using the card to pay for flights?

hybe pays for all our flights i don’t see why we’ve spent over 4 billion won on flights in the last two months when we’ve all been in korea

tae: HYBE PAYS FOR OUR FLIGHTS????

y/n: yeah are you stupid?

tae: SO WHY HAVE I BEEN GIVING JK MONEY EVERY TIME WE FLY?!

jk: is that money not for our lion we sponsored in africa?

tae: our what?

jk: lion

tae: what

jk: roar meow

🦁

that thing

jin: ofc you sponsored a lion in africa

yoongi: meow

y/n: HOLD ON 4 BILLION WON ON FLIGHTS IN 2 MONTHS???????

THATS INSANE??2£:&;&;&(

jk: we did ^_^!!!

our lion is called reggie and i get sent photos of him sometimes

i love him

jimin: i’ll shoot him

jk: TAKE THAT BACK NOW

jimin: i won’t

jk: NAMJOON TELL HIM TO TAKE IT BACK RN

namjoon: jimin take that back rn

jimin: no

namjoon: i tried!

jk: FUCK YOU

tae: you’ve been using my flight money for a lion??????????

jk: yeah!

didn’t know it was flight money tho

thought it was lion money lol

you know hybe pays for our flights right??

tae: stop speaking to me rn

jk: did i say something wrong????

namjoon: anyways

jungkook you need to stop buying fish

jk: who will set them free if i don’t 😰

hobi: SET ME FREEEEEE

namjoon: jimin chill out on the alcohol

jimin: you only live once namjoon

namjoon: it’s actually concerning how much you’ve bought THIS week

it’s for your own good

jimin: sighs

namjoon: and who tf is taking ubers everywhere we do have drivers yk??

not to mention that’s really fucking dangerous

yoongi: lmao what an idiot

y/n: lol 😅😅😅

yoongi: ????are you silly do you know how dangerous that is

ESPECIALLY for you

y/n: but they are so convenient!!!

and our drivers take soooooooo long

think about it if i didn’t take a uber yesterday i would of been late for our thing yesterday

that’s not cool is it???

yoongi: idc

i would rather you be late than dead in a ditch cuz ur uber driver was a deranged fan

y/n: booo

yoongi: next time you call one of our drivers or i’ll come and get you

ok?

y/n: ok

tae: i could come a get you lol

jk: ME TOO

I CAN

I WILL

ILL GET YOU RN

hobi: are you not in the same house?

tae: btw namjoon can’t get you lol

cuz yk he can’t drive

so he couldn’t come and get you

i’m just saying

i’m just putting it out there

someone you fuck doesn’t know how to drive

you should drop him

cuz what if you was dying and needed him asap no newjeans

he couldn’t come

cuz he can’t drive

just saying btw

namjoon: i think she gets it

shut the fuck up

jimin: LMAOOOO

namjoon: moving on whoever ordered a box of steak for 10k needs to give me the fucking card back

hobi: ok wtf

i needed that steak

jimin: who tf orders meat

y/n: that sounds gross as hell i hope it was same day delivery

hobi: i’m a chef in the making

namjoon: ur wasting money on stupid shit

hobi: ur just mad you don’t have a 10k golden stake like..

jin: namjoon ur being stingy ass hell

money is money

and we have a lot of it???

who cares what we spend it on?

jk: all unsponsored lions in africa

they care

namjoon: could you guys just be a little more responsible with our money please

just with this card at least

idc what you buy with ur own money but please for the love of god at least give me false hope in believing you are all responsible adults that can make sensible financial decisions

yoongi: thought he was an atheist

jin: that’s what im saying “for the love of god” do u even know him 😭

hobi: does he even want ur love namjoon?

jk: u wrote a lot of words there joon so i’m not gonna read it

but i hope i can still buy my fish

i’ll even get small ones if that makes you happy

y/n: would getting tae a bbl be a responsible financial decision?

tae: can i actually get the card pls

wait what????????????

y/n: or jimin do you want the bbl

jimin: I DO NOT NEED A BBL WHAT THE FUCK??

namjoon: ….

you guys are really fucking annoying yk that?

jimin: DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE JUST SAID

SHE BASICALLY CALLED ME FLAT!!!!

jk: at least it wasn’t fat!

jin: should of been 😒

jimin: OHMYGOD AM I FLAT??

DO I NEED A BBL GUYS OMGS

pls BE HONEST OMG DO I NEED A FUCKING BBL ?

tae: send pics so i can tell you

jimin: SHUT THE FUCK UP

tae: ok wtf i was only trying to help you :/

namjoon can i have the card pls pls pls pls

namjoon: no

y/n: hey ur not flat!!!!!

jimin: SO WHY WOULD YOU SAY I NEED A BBL????

y/n: i asked if you wanted one

i didn’t say that you needed one

jimin: do you think i’m flat

y/n: no!!!!!

jimin: ohmygod i’m gonna kms she thinks i’m flat

yoongi: can you read

jk: y/n can you come home i’m really sad namjoon just cancelled my fish rental for next tuesday

y/n: namjoon give him back his fish rental

namjoon: no

jk: y/n come HOME

y/n: can’t!

jaehyun says hi btw

jk: TELL HIM TO KILLHIMSELF /£:£;7:7,

hobi: so this relationship is for real???

namjoon: can we not

jimin: look at him getting defensive 💀

namjoon: how was that defensive??

i just don’t want us to all argue again

jimin: you can just say ur jealous joon

namjoon: shut up

tae: i’m jealous

hobi: we don’t care

jin: so like can jaehyun drive?

y/n: he can do a lot of things >\\\<

yoongi: don’t care

jimin: LMAOOOOO

wow this is really the best thing to happen to us

y/n: us???

he’s MY boyfriend

tae: my chest just caved in

jimin: sorry yeah he’s your BOYFRIEND

yoongi: we fucking get it omg

moving on

hobi: HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

yoongi: tf you giggling for

jk: HEY UR NOT ALLOWED TO GIGGLE

UR RULES HOBI 😡

hobi: today is cheat day

i have to giggle

jk: can i giggle?

hobi: y/n has a boyfriend

jk: SHUT UPSSIJ SHUTUOPSOOOO SDKKDDJDJDJDJDMMEJDJDJEJDJJSJEIDJDJSJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJJDDJJCKXJDJKDKX

namjoon: ok can we solve this card issue

tae: can i have the card pls i need to buy something to stop my heartbeat for a while

namjoon: shut up

hobi: y/n does this mean ur friends with nct now

can i like join them??

pls ask

y/n: ok

jin: omg should we have have a party??

nct x bts

yoongi: no

y/n: can you guys stop trying to cause arguments rn

jin: idk what she’s taking about

hobi: right like??

jimin: think it has something to do with her BOYFRIEND but idk

y/n: …..

jin: so what are you and your BOYFRIEND doing today???

y/n: STOP LAMSOSO

yoongi: so it’s funny now?

y/n: are you fr?

yoongi: i’m just saying lmao

namjoon: ok lets not do this again guys!!

jk: i wish i could do life again

namjoon: ok!

so whose been paying for these flights?

hobi: could be y/n and her BOYFRIEND

y/n: hoseok

hobi: ok sorry last one i’m sorry i’m sorry

jk: do you think reggie has had to deal with heart break like this???

jimin: here he goes 🙄

hobi: bet you all my money he will be drunk in the next hour

jin: hour???

i say the next 5 minutes

namjoon: guys the card??

jimin: namjoon we don’t care??

namjoon: i will punch you in the fucking face

jimin: WOAH??????????

y/n: joon omg

hobi: LMAOSODODJFJ

yoongi: real

jin: i’ll record !!!

tae: my gf said that to me once…

hobi: ??

tae: SIGHS

y/n: i’ll record?

tae: no wtf

the punch you in the face part

y/n: hey i said that

tae: yeah 😞…. yeah you did 😞

jimin: GUYS THERE IS A FUCKING FROG IN MY REFRIGERATOR

IM NOT JOKING

WHY IS THERE A FROG IN THERE

OHMUGOF

GUYS HELP ME

OSHDJCKDJCJD

PLS OHMUGSICODODKF

HELDPDOFKDKFN

JSNDNDND

7:& nfkcjemc

PLS

WHSUSHD WHAT THE FUCKCCKDN

ITS JUMPING IN MY FUCKINH FRIFGE EW EWEW GUYS WHAT THE HELL

jin: always knew he was dirty

hobi: free frog legs

y/n: don’t die

tae: namjoon can i have the black card

yoongi: give up

jimin: THERE IS TWO OF THEM

TWO FUCKMG FROGS HELSODKNDNDNC

HSNDELP HELP

PLS OM BEGHINF

HELP ME

NAMJOON

NAMJOON

NAMJOON

NAMJOON

NmJSODKFNDNCJDJDJJCKC

EW

HELP ME

namjoon: help urself

jk: aw man :/

i feel so sorry for them

birth control ❤️

namjoon: what are you talking about

jk: namjoon i booked a fight to belgium

namjoon: im sorry?

jk: i forgive you

don’t be sorry

chin up king

hobi: tf he yapping about

jk: my fish are going to belgium

yoongi: what

jin: the rented ones?

tae: let’s kill jaehyun

y/n: the 4 billion in 2 months was jungkook?

jk: my fish are ₩20,000 per bucket

not 4 billion the heck

yoongi: wow i’m losing my mind being in this gc

hobi: we can replace you with woozi lol

yoongi: say something like that again and i will break ur neck

hobi: ok WOAH

guys do you see how aggressive he is like???

that’s not right at all

jimin: THE FROGSGUYS OLS OHMUGSICODKDKNDDNDNDN

HELDPDOFKDKDND ENDNCNFMNCNXJDNC

namjoon: jungkook have you been using the card to pay for flights

jk: hybe pays for our fights

namjoon: ok but why did you say you booked a flight to Belgium then???

hobi: its like talking to a 7yr old

jk: no

namjoon: no?

jin: wow he’s making me want to kms

hobi: the soju has taken over!

jk: birth control!

yoongi: shut the fuck up

jk: aw man

who wants fish????

yoongi left “GOLDEN”

namjoon left “GOLDEN”

jin left “GOLDEN”

tae: i’m sorry man

send me those card details later tho!

tae left “GOLDEN”

jimin: WHERE ARE YOU FUCKINGGOFING MY FUCKING FRIDGE HAS FOGS IN IT COME BACK NOW

hobi left “GOLDEN”

y/n left “GOLDEN”

jk: good talk team

--

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz @jmnscutie

[distorted59]

HIII! I have a request if you have time, but after seeing what you did for Larsy Poo I need, - in fact, I am on my hands and knees for head cannons for James Het PLEASE 🧎🏻‍♀️

Thank you 😊 MWAH

Hey lovely!!! sorry it took a whole while, I'm finally back home and school and work are biting my ass. but, here it is!!! hope you enjoy! @buzzbuzzbowie also asked for this, thank you both! <3

Okay, so if we’re talking about 80s James, (like ‘81-’87), he’s definitely submissive asf!! he’s just… just… he was so shy and pretty LIKE SHUT UP SFKFSKSFSKJS. (he still is)

He def has mommy issues. So, he craves validation and care. Especially in the beginning, he’s still young and just into fame, could learn a thing or two. Once he gets older, more masculine, angrier and his voice deeper and deeper. He still has that need, it’s an itch no one can really scratch but you.

He was sexually inexperienced, (due to his family’s religions he had to leave health class and all that stuff). so just IMAGINE teaching young Jamie some things!!!! oml i’m melting!!!!! 

“Am I doing okay?” James pants from in between your thighs. He’s looking up at you through his bangs that are sticking to his sweaty forehead. His blue eyes twinkling with eagerness and lust.

“You’re doing great, baby.” You reassure him as you caress his hair lovingly. 

“Hmm, you taste so good.” He moans into your pussy and continues fucking you with his tongue.

Loves it when there’s a emotional connection, normally he’d fuck the shit out of girls/groupies without thinking twice. But, he loves it when he’s taken care of.

Loves the aftercare as well!! Cuddling or showering together, loves it when you wash his hair!

praising kink, mommy kink????? i dunno. I just know his whimpers and begging would be so pretty <3. 

Would get jealous pretty fast, he wants all of your attention on HIM. 

He’s also pretty protective of you, even as friends. Like, just imagine you and the bar hanging out at a bar, early Metallica days, and some guys are bothering you. This man would be prepared to throw hands. (just like he did for Larz, cuz he has a big mouth).

He has a big nose, so you can sit on it. (no headcanon tho, it’s the truth.)

He would call you all needy from his hotel room. (I see black album!James in my head). And i mean you know he’s fucking groupies, you know he is. but, he’s never satisfied, you got your fucking claws in him.

“Come on, pick up…” James mutters into the phone, he’s horny and desperate, only wanting to hear your voice.

“Hello?” Your tired voice rings through his ear.

“H-hey, sweetheart.” James stammers. “How are you? i miss you. Did I wake you?” he rushes through his words not wanting to be rude, but he is just so horny.

“hm, I’m good, baby.” you yawn. “You did wake me, but that’s okay.” 

He stays silent for a bit, he’s slowly stroking himself. Just your voice is enough to make him crazy. You can hear some hitched breaths through the phone and decide to play with him a little.

“What are you doing, baby?” 

“N-nothing, I’m just tired.” he quickens his pace, knowing what you’re doing.

“Do you miss me?” you ask, your hand wandering to your panties.

“Fuck, yes. Of course, baby.” 

“I miss you too, your voice, your touch…” You sigh. “you inside of me.”

“Oh, baby…” James lets out a strangled moan. “I need to feel you wrapped around me, I can’t take it.” 

James starts stroking his cock faster while you already have started playing with your clit. 

“Every night when I come off stage. I just think of you and I can’t….” James groans. “Can’t take it… need you here.” 

“You wanna know what I'd do?” 

“Yeah…”

“I’d ride you silly, until you’d see stars.” you moan.

“Fuck, so i can look at your pretty tits?” James gets closer to cumming.

“That’s right, darlin’.” 

“Are you playing with yourself too?” He asks, his mind is driving him wild. He is so jealous of your fingers right now. 

“Mhm.” you hum.

“Oh fuck, gonna cum, baby.” 

“Cum with me, babe.”

Both of you would cum all over yourself and say loving words to each other before falling asleep <3.

Now, if we’re talking about current James. holy fucking shit. the dilfiest fucking dilf on this fucking earth. 

His hands!!!! his fingers are super fucking skilled, this man can WORK them. stroking your hair, holding your hand, squeezing your thighs, making you suck his fingers while you look up at him innocently, lightly squeezing your throat with his other hand when you stop looking at him, finger-fucking you ‘till you cry… I can go on.

James and his cigars>>>>>>

Just imagine you sitting on his thigh, needy and desperate. He’s wearing some bootcut jeans that fit him perfectly. You’re in some comfortable pj shorts and slowly rubbing yourself on the material of his jeans. He’s really enjoying the view while smoking his cigar and puffing the smoke in your face. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” He places his free hand on your hip, secretly guiding your grinding. 

“Need more…” You whimper. “Please.” 

“Hmm… I don’t think so, baby.” he takes another drag and slowly blows the smoke in your face. “I think you can easily cum like this, can’t you?” 

He grins and holds the cigar close to your mouth, making you take a drag. You slowly inhale while maintaining eye-contact, James groans loudly and grips your hip tighter. You blow the smoke back into his face and try to kiss him. 

He gladly accepts the kiss and you can taste the cigar on his lips. You start grinding faster and moan into his mouth. James keeps guiding you and smirks up at your needy state. 

“Gonna cum all over my jeans, princess?”

He’d spoil you like crazy. You don’t want much, just him. but, he still takes care of you in every single way he can. 

 Feel like he might have a breeding kink, daddy kink and all that. He just wants to fill you all up and claim you. Mark you, show the world and everyone in it you are his. <3

 Imagine car rides with James???? I’d sell my left tit for that. (maybe not). Just a chill ride in one of his muscle cars, or his truck, love me some of that. Some music on low volume, the weather’s nice, the sun's about to set. Yes, just yes. 

Or staying at his house for dinner??? I would fucking love to chill in his backyard and he’s working over at the bbq. I just know this man can cook up a mean steak. 

Damn, now I’m hungry for James AND his cooking. 

[majimasleftasscheek]

Hihi! Do you have any minedai headcanons? (Idk how to write aAAAAA)

hmmm I had to give this a good think cuz I normally don't obsess about them too much (compared to a certain other pair lmao) but here's what I got 👀

*note! gonna be a mix of silly and more realistic ideas. my interpretation of minedai is pretty unserious

Daigo

genuinely enjoys mine's company, as uptight and neurotic it may be. because daigo was given the chairman position, a lot of people don't respect him other than mine so it's nice to hang out with someone who, despite being overly respectful, is kind to him. he feels a lot at ease with mine, able to be more himself n all that. it's not much but it means a lot to daigo

that said, he totally goes out in his casual clothes when able and is still very goth coded. Mine makes intense but silent notes about every little thing in those outfits and thinks it's very cute when there's little details like tiny skulls n things

likes to do go out spontaneously when he can and takes mine along. mine thinks something like that is way too dangerous for a chairman to be doing but daigo confides that he's not worried if mine is with him (with an ulterior motive to loosen the giant stick up mine's ass to get him to live a little). cue mine choking on his heart

I like the idea of daigo being oblivious to mine's obsessive behavior to an extent. he becomes so used to mine's quirks that he writes it off as oh he's just like that lol. but he's not wholly dumb to it. he'll be lowkey flirty and that's when mine's questions daigo's actions like "why is daigo smiling at me? is he sick? I should call an ambulance..."

genuinely has zero idea what type of things mine likes. tho daigo grew up in a bougie type of life and mine currently lives it, he can assume things like fine arts and fancy shit tho personally he removed himself from that sort of thing as he got older (to avoid being anything even close to his dad lol). comparatively, daigo lives more modestly so gift giving is up to guessing but mine accepts literally anything from him and frankly refuses to give him hints as not to place expectations accidentally

likes to spar with mine and was surprised to see that daigo was decently capable of protecting himself and finds his informal style of fighting very charming. he's seen daigo fight before, but it's a bit of a different intensity when it's just to two of them trying their hardest to impress

has a network of friends/allies like kiryu, kashiwagi, etc that mine keeps a closer than needed eye on. daigo does get frustrated that he has to explain he trusts these people wholly and it's often a point of contention between them

very much likes slow days when they can just chill with each other, however that may be. cuddling is prime even if mine gets mad hot and sweaty so daigo keeps a full body towel handy. it's not unusual for daigo to go out of his way to prod mine for reactions as it's the highlight of his day

Mine

definitely has a shrine dedicated to daigo. for funnies: has weird shit like used napkins, articles of hair, etc just funky stuff someone wildin' would keep. realistically I think he'd be a lil more modest - having photos and baubles, typical normie shrine shit

absolutely has a folder on his phone/computer of "selfies" with him and daigo. most of them are just regular photos you'd find in like newspapers, half of them are blurry as hell, and there's a few he's taken himself but poorly done because he did it under a table or something. and of course there's many photos of just daigo, doing all assortment of things from working hard to hardly working

he's caught by daigo occasionally but mine attributes his behavior to "trying to find better phone signal" as he aims it coincidentally at daigo's spikey heeled boots. even when they're together together, he still does this on the sly

insists on paying for everything whenever they're out but with enough convincing, he'll back down and internally melts when daigo tells him he's just happy to have his company. has a habit tho of "making up" for what he didn't pay for such as ordering lunches n things before daigo can refuse

obvs very violently protective of daigo tho avoids being so in front of him as much as possible. it's very common for someone who's spoken ill of daigo to get their ass beat or thrown into the Tokyo Bay some days later. has a network of people dedicated solely to routing out daigo haters

is often confided to by daigo about the stresses of running the clan and it takes a lot out of mine for him to not be cold and calculating with an answer. has had to learn sometimes people just want someone to listen

at first, mine thought such confiding was some limp dick shit but over time realized that daigo never wanted anything out of such confessions which is unexpected. to have someone be so trusting and vulnerable with him is incredibly valuable

would have "sounds of daigo talking about stuff" recorded and sleeps to it every night. be assured clips of daigo sneezing are in there too

if he was in dead souls, he would be going turbo murder throughout the city just to dent the population of zombies that could even potentially get a whiff of daigo's darkness allure™ cologne. if infected, I imagine he'd have the will to remain loyal cuz the power of simp compels him

[tetsuooooooooooo]

ok im watching act 3 again to write down my questions and see if anything makes sense this time

edit im 2 eps in this got long as FUCK kjchgxhi come talk to me!!!!! im screeching into the void!!!!!!! americans wake up look at my post!!!!!!!! say everything to me!!!!!!!!!

why are we introducing time travel alternate universes into this story

where did the other ekko go, was he in Our ekkos universe/body or just out of commission, bc that makes no sense i think, if they didnt switch then wheres the ✨symmetry✨

do you think that skye had anything to do with them figuring out the cleaning flowers thing in the AU? and is viktor dead? and jayce in jail? banished? i wonder where skye went here i hope shes living her best not in love with a gay guy life

where the FUCK was the Original-AU heimerdonger when he got bodysnatched by the Our version? they do still call him professor but in Our version he just recently got kicked out of the council so would he still be just freeloadin around zaun at that point in the AU? was he ever councilor?

can everyone on my screen Please stop hurling their guts out from timetraveldisease

if theres no hextech and no anomaly in the AU reality then how did it throw them in it in the first place

ekko is smart but if he was smarter hed stay around to research what needed to happen to make zaun work in this version and save himself time figuring it out from the groundup back home, i think

but also what the fuck COULD have possibly happened to make it so different CUZ LIKE- ok the little flashback bit with vi dying in jayces house- the gang is wearing the same clothes as in Our version, so that would probably indicate that THAT zaun was also in the same state as Our ""original"" version too? right? no? i mean i would say they did put emphasis on clag n mylos clothes being different and more piltovian or whatever idk maybe im onto nothing WAIT NO BECAUSE CLAGGOR WAS MAKING THE DAMN FLOWER TO CLEAN THE POLLUTION SO IF THATS STILL THERE THEN IT COULDNT HAVE BEEN RESOLVED THAT MUCH EARLIER HERE RIGHT

also what the fuck had to be different exactly for enforcers to bust the kids after blowing up a building and not chuck them all in stillwater this time around? did they really care that much about vi dying? was that really the inciting incident for zauns inclusion? marcus? fucking MARCUS marcus? marcus "im gonna bury the lot of you" "deals with the devil to get a 14 yearold put in jail for life"* marcus sees a zaunite girl dead (after breaking into a piltover home and wrecking it) and just goes "aw :c" ? the council of rich businessfucks like salo whod do everything they can to maintain the status quo? is One Dead Kid (still the name of my nonexistent band) really all it takes this time? am i too tough on these people am i dumb if id like some elaboration on how that whole story went or

*to be honest i. dont really get what that Deal thing with silco was about in the first place

wheres Scar aaaat show me my guyy whERES VIKAAA

how did the shimmer story end up in the AU because IF the main change here is vis death then i could believe that silco WAS still already on track with beginning the production at that point if of course singed is also in the same position as Originally

is there a universe where that hammer lands on jayjays head and ends him right there

did silco forgive vanvan before or after zaun gets their "win" in the AU? because my bet is DEFINITELY after

ALSO how the fuck in a city like piltover did they not renovate jayces blown up flat after fuck knows how many years, at LEAST 3 (id wager at least 7 but thats just me so whatever) like city of progress who?? is it just there as like a cautionary tale??? did they put up a lil plaque for jayce after he kild himself?? they just boarded that shit up tho there was nobody there?? why did they leave it like that idk

WHY did heimerdeimer die???? DID he die?? why did he DIE?????? what happens to the AU-Original hongerdonger??? you couldnt have just waited 10 minutes and have powder do allat?? she trusted us right? maybe not

why WAS bonking viktor in the head with the zdrive the answer to our problems

powder knew what she was doing with that innovators cum petition sign right

WHAT the FUCK was that mylo claggor moment like am i inSANE OR WAS THIS SUS AS HELL also (man rapping) put some FUCKING RESPECT on stromaes name

how DID rizzard viktor stop being purple actually. god i still hate that reveal im not smart but i refuse to believe that was good writing

what happened to put that rock in jayces wrist? it wasnt a process it was viktor doing it in a split second why did that need to happen? so he wouldnt lose it? hunh?

no because WHAT IS AMBESSAS FUCKING GOAL HERE IN THE END

does she want kino back? whAT DO YOU WANT WOMANNNN

did that princess girl that got her head sliced off by bessa in the first season actually have anything to do with anything in the end or not cuz im just confuzzled

how does he know that

what does that mean

how does SHE know THAT

what does THAT mean

does loris have the same accent as vik??????

where the fuck did that ginger binch come from in the first place is she from piltover or noxus if shes from piltover what did ambessa give her and when

Neither of them would say ANY of this shit

wonder what vi would say if she saw this conversation before her and cait decided to pork

im just gonna choose to believe she was in there for like 5 hours so her labrador attention span just reset and she chilled out about jinx (actually ykw i guess im willing to believe at this point she doesnt really care that much if jinky offs herself or not)

what the FUCK ARE these goddamn doll puppet thingies viktor makes why are they LIKE that why is THIS the theme here (because orianna and Plot) (but like dyouknow what i mean)

what the fuck was the point of Skye Young as a character in this entire story other than a Gaydar Jammer. with all respect to skyvik stans but like. what is it.

lmao you abandoned them much before that guys

we stan a I Gave You Food And A Roof Why Are You Sad You Ungrateful Ingrate queen

it REALLY DOESNT DOES IT JGHCCGHIBC

why DID skye die again? they wouldnt have just? integrated? again? or smthn? why is this a one-passenger ride all of a sudden? we already got a hivemind thing goin? whatsup?

[angelyuji]

yandere bruce wayne headcanons

yandere bruce wayne x gn!reader

warnings: yandere behavior, gross guy bruce wayne, kidnapping, stalking, power imbalance, rich guy uses his rich guy money to manipulate reader, creepy guy being a creepy guy lol (lmk for anything i might've missed i am half-asleep)

im thinking ill write some actual fanfics for him soon, idk what TO write tho...

STALKKKERRRR STALEKER SJALKER STALKER!!!

he is a creature of the night so u KNOW he’s watching you from a rooftop next to ur apartment

think of the scene in the batman when he’s watching Selina undress and stuff yeah hes a peeper (hes so fine i love bruce)

my man doesn’t have any superpowers BUT hes literally the freaking batman, he has cameras all over gotham so i promise he has eyes on you at all times

he’ll watch over you and make sure ur not gonna get mugged by some loser with a gun or get caught up in a joker/ivy/freeze/whomever scheme

like hes stalking you

he knows everything abt u too with WE and the Batcomputer (lol) he’ll have all ur personal info on file, ur twitter acc, your Instagram, any social media, literally everything on a separate file that is locked behind multiple passwords and eye scans (especially if we’re looking at bruce with kids like he knows they’d open the file and snoop)

if we’re looking at pattinson!batman/early years, he’s probably gonna write abt u in his diary journal (hes just a silly little guy)

he’ll try to give you a job at wayne enterprises to keep an eye on you as bruce (obvi becuz he cant be batman 24/7) (job depends on your experience and degree) (he’ll want u as a personal assistant or something but depending on your area of expertise… you’re probably not gonna accept lol)

if u do accept for a position as assistant/secretary, he’ll have your desk 3 ft away, he’ll be calling u into his office just to talk, basically like sort of training u to be his wife (get coffee, make lunch/get lunch, invite u to be his plus one for galas) all that jazz, he’ll flirt with u but ur gonna be like “oh that’s just brucie wayne being brucie wayne, but once u get comfortable in ur role, he’ll start making moves like hand on the lower back, pressing against u in any situation possible, he’ll never seem creepy (yet) but it’ll make u slightly uncomfortable considering he’s ur boss.

i can think of 2 possibilities that could occur

1. creepiest boss ever. he’ll order u how to dress to be his assistant/how to dress at galas (skimpy dresses, short skirts, tight pants, tight fitting dress shirts that exposes everything, shit like that), he’ll LEER at u like bruce will purposely drop stuff and make u pick it up so he can watch u bend over. like the worst. you’ll get tired of this behavior and quit and bruce will get angry and kidnap u

2. still creepy but not as bad. more like extravagant gifts, vacations, parties. he’ll still flirt and try to have as much physical contact with u as possible but he knows where to draw the line. you wouldn’t quit cuz yk great pay, okay boss. but like his feelings would get too much to contain and he’ll kidnap u in the end anyway

if i had to diagnose the batmans i care abt id sayyyy 1 is Affleck, 2 is bale, and Pattinson is a mix of both. comic batman has so many different writers and each run has a different personality for him saur depends on the writer lmao

u wouldn’t be able to date cuz of yk…….. WE rules………… but he’ll get tired of that taboo/secret relationship bs pretty quickly and just kidnap u

if u don’t accept a position as an assistant/secretary, he gets it but more than likely, his feelings for u will intensify and he’ll end up taking you to keep at wayne manor

before getting into when ur stuck at wayne manor, lets break down bruce’s thoughts abt u

he has put u on a PEDESTAL

ur amazing, beautiful, gorgeous, u. can. do. no. wrong.

in his mind, ur the light to his darkness

alfred totally enables him and if we’re talking dilf bruce, the kids learn from him so they just assume this is what love is, kidnapping and manipulation

you’d adjust to life at wayne manor (not quickly but yk mf is RICH, ur gonna be treated so well once u understand that u cant leave)

bruce wouldn’t torture u but he’d pavlov u for sure

you would only be given comfort and relief when ur around him/good to him

if ur not good, then he’d probably keep u locked up in the batcave or in any of the many empty rooms at the manor

bruce wayne is the most powerful and influential person, ANDD has THE most powerful people on the planet as his best friends… you’re stuck with him babes

[ch3rryjampi3]

"Oh my good looking boy."

Trans! Katsuki x Fem! reader

This was inspired by a song called: Good Looking by Suki Waterhouse

Ever since Katsumi was a little kid, He always knew he never wanted being a girl. He hated it, he hates wearing stupid dresses, he really hates playing with stupid ugly dolls and barbies. He hates it. He hates being a girl.

He hated his whole appearance that he overcomes it by bullying others. Especially Deku. "Look at how so fucking pathetic you are shitty quirkless Deku!!" He laughed as he poured everything out his bag, dropping it in front of him. "Poor Midoriya..."

It has been a routine of his. Reflecting his struggles to others. Maybe he acts all tough and all but deep inside, he's scared or maybe pathetic. Hah!! Pathetic?! He's not pathetic!! He literally has you!! His girlfriend that loves him so much and someone he's trying to hide cuz your both....girls.

"Hey Kats!! Ya ready to go?" You asked your girlfriend as she met up with you in the hallway. "Yeah. Let's go." You both then starts to head to the gates. You invited him to a sleepover since its weekend tomorrow, also to spend time together.

You both had stopped by at his house so he could pack his belongings for the weekends,he shouldn't have since he can just borrow some of your stuffs but he's stubborn so you just let him. "Katsumi!! Your staying at Y/L/N's house again?? Ugh just be home before Sunday night okay?? My little Prince-"

"I will I will!! Shut up!!" He yelled as he slammed the door shut. The ash blonde sighed deeply as he walked besides Y/N, an arm around her shoulder. "Does your Mom and Dad okay with me always staying at your house in the weekends?"

"Yup!! They couldn't care less plus, they're mostly not at home during weekends since they're busy." He nodded. "So basically, I'm your roommate during weekends?" He asked, raising a brow. "Maybee but you love staying with me!!" You exclaimed as he softly smiled.

"Just let me do your makeup!!" "Hell no!! Get that thing away from me!!" You've been wanting to give him a makeover but he kept on resisting. You knew he disliked makeup but you wanted to give him a makeover, to make him look more handsome than he already is.

"I'll treat you tomorrow on that ramen restaurant you like!! Please?!!" You pleaded, desperately wanting to give him a makeover. "I- ugh!! Fucking Fine!!" He said giving up. He don't wanna miss the opportunity of getting free food, even tho he knows he can afford it on his own.

"Yayy!! Okay so just stay still..." Few minutes had past and your done with his makeup, you fixed his hair abit to look abit shorter and you looked at your final work with awe. "Now look Katsu..."

"Holy shit...I look so handsome." He said, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He looks like his father but with his mothers hair color and eyes. He was in awe. "You always are." You said, smiling on how happy your boyfriend is.

"One day, maybe you can tell everyone on who you really are." You said, hugging him from behind as you kissed his cheek. "My Good looking boy."

A/n: I'm sorry if its bad!! I really tried my best 😓😓 I apologize also if it's not really Trans!! But I hope you guys like it!! Reblogs are appreciated 😚💕