#(I am just also trying to be honest about why the format and the space here is one I’ve grown beyond/can’t use in the same way I used to
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teaching has just truly driven me away from tumblr discourse because I’m still talking to people who are wrong about literature and have bad takes but now there are valid and understandable reasons for that (adolescence) (new to life in general and having opinions at all)
#akksksjejeje this is so mean I mean the wider problem of tumblr discourse!!!!!!!!!!! not any individuals#well maybe some individuals whose blogs I have come across over the years#who are spewing heresy and nonsense#but anyway on a more serious note all patience for discourse and discussion is simply used up in my teaching#that’s where it all goes#I got nothing left!#I mean I have lots left for one on one discussions#but I just mean in terms of interacting with a group and all the work that comes with balancing the humors (lol)#of a group setting so that there can be the right amount of harmony and forward motion#that’s just used up in teaching#It’s the right context for it!#I should really just leave here. it would be better and fairer#but I still kind of need it as a dumping ground#(Anyway if you read my posts and reply to them and are kind I appreciate it so much <3 I do not mean to disparage you at all)#(I am just also trying to be honest about why the format and the space here is one I’ve grown beyond/can’t use in the same way I used to#and it’s something I still need to occasionally work out in a text post on tumblr I guess!#which is ironic#to say the least.
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OK I will Lady Whistledown you. Somehow, I ended up in a private BT space. Probably because it was earl, and I looked at somethin, and I have no presence so they probably don't even know I am there.
Basically, on main, you have the general realization of Oliver's expressions in regards to asking about BT vs. Buddie. I watched, and I will be honest, I don't think he was trying to be mean, but I do think it was a genuine reaction for him. But then you mix it with the fact the old interview from Lou came up again, and a lot of people are starting to worry.
But behind closed doors, it's definitely that Oliver didn't champion Tommy at all. Mixed with weeks of wondering why he won't follow him or the fact Oliver posted the basketball picture for 4 and not Tommy.
So as dramatic as I am making it sound. It really is simple you know how a fandom works with the "popular" posters and the general audience. But yes as we watch Oliver and if he continues to ignore it, they are blaming him basically.
And I think in their overzealousness to make Fetch a thing. They completely did forget how close Ryan and Oliver are. How much Oliver probably hates how they are treating his story but also Ryan. As if he would choose Lou over Ryan as childish as that sounds.
Obsessed with this format, it made me giggle, thank you soskpakspskslaks
But basically, Oliver did what he has been doing since the beginning? And they are freaking out because they finally realized Mr plot device doesn't have the support of the people that maybe could've make him stay longer? Fascinating. It's not like we've been hearing that in everything that's not a cameo. Imagine being forced to turn of the selective hearing because since the cameos were shut down, there's no one on their side.
That mentality is one I never understood tbh, why do they think attacking Ryan and Oliver is gonna accomplish anything other than pissing the people involved with show off? Like, Oliver clearly cares about Ryan, why would he just accept the situation and decide to become a bt defender when he's clearly annoyed that Buck being bi became a ship war. As if Oliver is gonna pick Lou. And like, Oliver has some power in the situation, because while he's not a writer, Buck is a fandom favorite, keeping Oliver happy while playing Buck is very important for their numbers. But again, I am asking for logical thinking from people who clearly have no idea what logic is.
#crazy dude#911#i really need a tag for asks#anon 😌#anti bucktommy#lady whistledown anon#spy network
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Lookism: Rendezvous 🔞 (Ch. IX) || Gun Park x Fem! Reader ♡
Author’s Note: I apologize that there wasn’t much happening in the last chapter. That one was kinda a doozy to write ngl. 😭 I decided to mention the YouTube version of PTJ’s universe since that’s what Lookism mentioned before. (Even in Viral Hit too, but that’s irrelevant rn lol) And also, I’m sorry to all the smut lovers! I was trying to build up to this moment because I wanted to balance out the story. I didn’t want it to always be smut all the time or else it’s just going to be repetitive. This chapter though, will definitely lead to the spice that will soon come. I hope you like this one. 🤭💓 (Also, I’m sorry if the format for this chapter is weird. I had to squeeze some stuff in because of space.)
NSFW Warning: Violence, Strong language/Cursing, Sexual Language, and Sexual Content (teasing and sensual touching).
Story Summary: You traveled abroad to help support your mother who is sick, back home in Japan. However, once you reached Korea, everything went downhill until you met a stranger who offered you a deal that could benefit you. But who knew that this special encounter would turn your whole life around…
Driving in silence should be illegal. You thought of how this annoying car couldn’t even compare to how better the Rolls Royce Phantom was, which made you think of a good name for it.
“Kuro Maboroshi.” [黒幻]
Gun gave a slight smirk, now knowing what you’ve been thinking inside that pretty little head of yours.
“Ah, so that’s what you’ve come up with.”
“Well, it isn’t as bad as calling your other car an ‘Obnoxious Goblin’.”
“Hm…”
“So… yes?”
“Fine.”
Turning to the side of the car, you gave yourself a small fist pump for your silent victory, before turning back around to fix your posture.
“Also, I saw that you were busy back there while you made me wait for you.”
Wait, he was there this whole time? Well, here it comes. The interrogation…
“Oh. You saw that?”
“Yeah, I did. I caught you with Eli Jang and the rest of the main members of Hostel.”
Frozen, you sat there in your seat trying to play out the memories that just happened in your head. Now, the name “Eli Jang” is familiar to you. You remembered Gun had mentioned Eli’s name before while he was talking about his successor. Overall, the thought of encountering members of one of the four major crews made you deny the possibilities of ever encountering them in the first place.
“That was them? Nah, there’s no way…”
“Why are you denying it? Have you seen their Hostel tattoos?”
For a minute, you thought about the visible tattoos of the letter “H” that you saw printed on the obvious parts of their bodies. Eventually, Gun took the silence for a “yes” as he continued, “If you obviously saw their Hostel tattoos, then there’s no point in trying to rationalize what just happened. Whatever happened, happened.”
Suspiciously, your squinted eyes turned to look at him. “You’re awfully passive about this. Didn’t you tell me back at that restaurant that there would be a really low chance of encountering them in Seoul?”
“Yes, I did. But I never said anything about how you’ll NEVER encounter them at all. You just so happened to be lucky today.”
Shocked at Gun’s bullshitery, you scoffed while rolling your eyes. “‘Lucky’? You call THAT lucky? They now know who I am! Well, I don’t think I told them my name because I was in a hurry, but they still know my face!”
“And?”
“‘And’? Why are you so calm?! They already met one of the people who will take them down!!!”
Gun let out a low yet entertained chuckle saying, “Just relax. To be honest, I didn’t think you’d meet them so soon. However, there’s no need to worry. They don’t even know that you’re associated with me in the first place so you can stop stressing about it.”
“Yeah, well… what if I encounter the other crews…?”
“Then you’ll just have to become a better liar and prevent yourself from looking like an open book. Your face can be so readable at times, so work on that.”
Due to that low blow from Gun, you instantly reacted by turning your head to face him. The look that you were giving him from his peripheral vision was nothing more but hatred towards him, that he couldn’t help but smirk at your displeased face.
“Come on, don’t look at me like that. I was only just stating the facts.”
“What do you mean? Is my face THAT readable to you?”
“I think you already know the answer to that.”
His annoying comments never fail to piss you off as you turned your head to the side, sick of actually looking at his smug face that was clearly enjoying your downfall. To change the subject, you asked him, “How long were you there in front of the market waiting for me?”
“Not too long.”
As Gun continued to drive onwards, he quickly reminisced the sight he saw back at that marketplace.
Gun finally came back from the phone shop with your new phone inside the small shopping bag placed near his ash tray in front of the center console of the car. The white Rolls Royce Ghost, or as you like to call it “Shiro Oni”, arrived at the spot where you were supposed to meet Gun. When his right foot stepped on the brake, he turned the rotary shift knob to “P”. Now waiting for your arrival, he searched around the car for you by looking at his side windows then his rearview mirror. Once he took a glimpse at his rearview mirror, he immediately caught a sight of you, sitting on the bench. His hand was about to press the horn on his steering wheel to signal that he was finally there, but what stopped him was the sight of a small human sitting beside you. With caution, he stared at the figure of that small child as he noticed that the young one looked very familiar to him. That bun, bundled up on top of her head, the little yellow dress that she was wearing, and that pretty round face of hers was enough to remember that the child was indeed, Eli Jang’s, the leader of Hostel.
Gun wondered what you were doing with Eli Jang’s child, as he continued to watch over you from afar. He saw you take out a packet of portable on-the-go applesauce from the small plastic bag you had with you, then gave it to the kid for her to eat it herself. While watching you nurse the fragile child in front of you by helping her digest the food with light pats on her back, Gun pondered about how well you take care of children. First Kouji, and now, Yenna Jang? It was astonishing to see that you had a soft and content side when it comes to children. However, whenever you and Gun would interact, it was quite the opposite. The two of you would somehow always end up verbally dissing each other to no end. Just name any topic, and both of you would break out in a war full of petty curses and insults. His eyes then followed you down the sidewalk, as you were now carrying Eli’s daughter in your arms. You were walking over to two other people who Gun did not expect to see, which was Warren Chae the Gate Keeper and Sally Park the Big Mama of Hostel. This whole scene that Gun was viewing for himself was like watching a TV show. An interesting show, that hits him with plot twist after unexpected plot twist. And oh, does it get better! Finally, the main lead that Gun was anticipating for shows up at the scene.
Intrigued by the sight of Eli Jang joining in with the four of you, Gun’s mouth curved to a mischievous smirk while still viewing the rearview mirror from above. He witnessed you finally speaking to Eli in person as he mumbled to himself, “And now, here comes the real fun. I bet she doesn’t even realize who she’s talking to right now, knowing how slow she can be. Talk about a twist of fate…”
It took about thirty minutes for you to finish your conversation with the Hostel crew, making Gun lie back on his leather seat, grieving a tired groan from waiting for you.
“Damn. Can they just wrap it up already, and hurry the fuck up? I’ve got better things to do.” Knowing that he can’t sound the car horn to avoid drawing any attention to himself, he had no choice but to wait there the whole entire time for you to be done. Eventually, his eyes lit up as he saw that you were already saying your goodbyes. While watching you now dispersing from each other and walking down the direction towards his car, his back shot up to fix his own posture on the seat. When you finally made it to your side of the car door, he heard you knock on it a few times then stood there without opening the door, making him shake his head in amusement. “This idiot…”
He had to roll down the window for you to say, “It’s already open.” before you could even enter the car. Once you were inside the car, Gun didn’t waste any time as he started the car to drive down the path of returning back home.
While Gun was replaying the events that just happened in his head, his mind was forced to return back to the present as it was interrupted by the sound of the crumpling of a bag of chips. His head turned to see what you were up to, catching you now munching on the honey butter chips that you bought recently.
“Oi, what the hell are you doing in my car?”
From the corner of your eye, you caught Gun staring at your direction, as you stopped yourself from consuming that one chip that you are still holding in your hand.
“What?”
“What do you mean ‘what’? You’re eating chips in MY car.”
“So… what? Do you want one? I can give you one if you’d like.”
You reached the hand that was holding the chip over to where his mouth was as you said while babying him saying, “Here Gun, say ‘Ah!’” Gun’s eyebrows furrowed in an irritated fashion, which resulted in him to smack your hand away from his face with the back of his own hand. With that, you ignored him cursing under his breath while you nibbled away on your sweet potato chips. “And what did I tell you about eating when you’re not hungry.” You shrugged nonchalantly saying, “It’s fine! Just let me do this once. I’ve always wanted to try it because of that one commercial I saw on TV. So, please, just this once.”
Gun’s foul mood faded when he suddenly remembered the phone that he got for you. “If you haven’t seen the bag down there yet, I suggest that you go through it now.”
With a curious look on your face, you looked down to see a small bag sitting next to his ash tray. Your hand picked it up, reaching into it like it was a mystery bag. When you felt the bulkiness of a small elongated box, you grabbed onto it to pull it right out of the bag. My oh my, you couldn’t believe what kind of phone he just got you! Inside the bag was the newest model of the iPhone, in which you felt your hands starting to tremble from how surprised and overwhelmed you felt about holding it in your hands.
This bastard really went overboard with the “gift-giving”. I don’t deserve something like this at all! I mean, come on. An iPhone?! Are you serious?! And it’s even the newest version too! I’m afraid that I might break this thing, knowing how brand new it is and how fragile this is. Ah, geez…
While staring at the box on your lap, you said in a reluctant tone, “Are you secretly a Sugar Daddy? Because, what the actual fuck…”
“Do you want me to be your ‘Sugar Daddy’? I don’t mind, if that’s what you truly want-”
“No. I’m good.”
Right off the bat, you denied his offer, afraid that it would give you a big headache from how complicated your relationship already was with him. Also, you didn’t find the extra baggage to be necessary, since you plan on paying him back for all of this someday, regardless of what he has to say. The contract that you two signed together will eventually become void and at that point, you don’t have to follow his orders anymore. Whether he likes it or not, you will pay him back and you will make him take it no matter what.
Sorry Gun, but that’s just how my ideology works.
For now, you decided to just accept it. Either way, he wouldn’t give you a choice to refuse it in the first place. “As much as I’d like to refuse this ‘gift’ and give this back to you even though I can’t… thank you.”
“It’s the least I can do for my student, who’s always so careless.”
Gun’s words made you shoot a sharp glare at his direction, as his eyes were still concentrating on the road.
“Tch. You’re lucky that the contract is what binds me to your words. If it weren’t for that, I would’ve chucked this thing right out the window.”
“I don’t think that would be a smart idea. You still need it.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever…”
“I suggest that you look through it and play around with its features, so you can get used to it. I don’t want you to bother me every few seconds, asking ‘What does this do?’ And you don’t have to worry about not being able to use your phone without Wifi. I had someone install a data plan for it so you can use it anywhere you go. There’s even unlimited talk and text for it.”
While rolling your eyes, you retorted back at him saying, “Ha, are you a moron? You’re speaking to a ‘tech nerd’. You even said that yourself, so don’t you ever forget that. Oh, wait… Really? Well, th-thanks, I guess…” From hearing the phone’s cool features, you enthusiastically took out the phone from its box and as you held it in your hands, you turned it on and began to set everything up on your new phone. It took about ten minutes of your time, going through your new phone with ease. Once you opened your “Contacts” there was already a contact saved in the list, which read “Yuzuru” on there.
Confused, you asked yourself, “Who’s Yuzuru?” [結弦]
“Me.”
Right away, your eyes shifted to Gun as your focus was now on him. You raised an eyebrow asking, “You’re Yuzuru? I thought your name is Jong Gun?”
“It’s my Japanese name. I used it because no one else knows about it except for you. Not even the Geniuses know about it. If anyone were to pick up your phone and see whoever is texting you, they won’t suspect that it’s me.”
Wait, he has a Japanese name? So he’s ACTUALLY Japanese? Well, that makes a lot of sense. His Japanese is very fluent, so he must be a native speaker. I wonder what’s his family name. Gosh, and I thought I knew a lot about him by now! I wonder what else he’s hiding. He’s such a mysterious man…
“Oh, okay. That makes sense. But why would you entrust your Japanese name to me?”
“It’s because I know you well by now, to know that you can be stupid sometimes. However, if you’re ‘smart’ enough, then I know for sure that you won’t be spilling my actual name to anyone. Unless, you want to suffer the consequences…”
That last part sent actual chills down your spine. Quickly, you shook your head and responded with, “No sir! I do not want to suffer the consequences.”
���Good.”
Both of you fell silent for the rest of the car ride home, as you managed to send Nurse Aya a text message since you kept her phone number on a piece of paper in your bag. Your text message stated:
“Hi Nurse Aya, this is (Y/N) Sasaki. I’m sorry if you tried to contact me on my old phone. Recently, I got a new phone since my old one broke. I finally managed to send the money to my mother. She’ll receive it in her bank account sometime soon. Once she gets it, then that money will immediately be used for her hospital bills. I already contacted the Doctor about it before I left for Korea, so he’s already familiar with my method of payment. I’ll hope to speak to my mother soon as well, so please let me know when is the perfect time to contact you back. As always, thank you for taking care of her and I hope you have a good day! 😊🙏🏽”
Now time to play the waiting game.
. . .
Eventually, the two of you arrived at the house. You took your leave first from the car as you had to wait for him outside of the front door of the house, since Gun needed to park the car into the garage. When you and Gun finally entered the house, Gun had some business-related work to do in his room regarding HNH Group so he told you not to disturb him, unless there was an emergency. While understanding the circumstances, you nodded as both of you retreated to your rooms. Before entering your room though, Gun made sure to tell you that you can just heat up something in the microwave as usual whenever it’s time for dinner, since he’ll probably eat later. You nodded, as you watched him continue onwards towards his room. When you see him shut his door behind him, you did the same as well.
Once you got inside your room, you crashed down onto your bed, letting out a huge tired exhale. While staring up at the ceiling, your mind started to run wild with a bunch of thoughts in your head.
Ugh, what a day. I’m glad that I got to send mom the money. At least now, I get to pay on time without having to worry about working constantly. That was grueling to even go through that. Now that I think about it, this place isn’t so bad. I haven’t really gotten the chance to appreciate this place until now. I’ve been staying in a nice house. Getting good meals at the right times. I’ve been going to different places where I’ve never even imagined of stepping foot in. All of this feels like a dream. However, I don’t want to think like that or else I might forget the real reason why I’m here. This is mainly because I needed the money. I needed the money to pay for my mom’s bills. I can’t afford to be greedy while I’m here. That isn’t right. Hm… I wonder if Nurse Aya saw my text yet. I better go check.
As you grabbed your new phone from your bag, you quickly checked to see if you were correct, and there it was:
“Hello Ms. (Y/N) Sasaki, it is very nice to hear from you again! And I’m sorry about what happened to your old phone, that must’ve been terrible. Yes, Doctor informed me about your method of payment and it is alright with me. When we receive your payment, we will double check to make sure that it’s all there. In the meantime, we’ll just have to wait for the money to be added into your mother’s bank account. And also, your mom has been sleeping a lot recently trying to recover herself every time she goes through therapy. So, I’ll let you know ASAP when she’s ready to be contacted. Until then, I’ll continue to look after your mother and I’ll continue to wish you good luck in your job over there in Korea! ☺️”
Whew, at least she got the message. I wonder what else I can do with this phone… Oh, right! I can finally contact Kouji and DG! You took out the little slip of paper with their phone numbers as well, as you started off by contacting Kouji. A single text message that was sent to him read:
“Hi Kouji, this is (Y/N)! I finally got a new phone. If you still need anything regarding the game or anything else, let me know! Or if you just wanted to chat, you can send a text message my way and I’ll be happy to reply anytime! 😄”
While waiting for Kouji’s response, you sent DG a message as well:
“Hello DG! This is (Y/N). I got a new phone recently, which is how I’m able to send you this text message. I’ll get to finally listen to your songs, so I look forward to listening to them while using this phone. And as I agreed, I’ll be sending you my thoughts on them too. I hope I’m not bothering you right now, I don’t want to disturb you while you might be working so I’ll talk to you later. Goodbye, and good luck at work! 😁”
Right when you successfully sent your message to DG, you got a notification from Kouji with a message that said:
“Finally!!! What took you so long? And you don’t have to text so formally on here. Tbh you sound like an old lady. 👵 An old lady creep who watches young boys’ computer screens from far away. 😬”
Ugh, this kid. Always saying such rude and annoying things right off the bat. Gun should honestly adopt him. They’d both be like father and son.
“Do you want my help or not? Just one push of the BLOCK button and I won’t be able to help you out. 😌”
A few seconds later, Kouji sent a GIF that shows this:
The GIF caused a laugh out of you as you continued to have this long and entertaining conversation with Kouji all night.
A week has gone by so quickly, as it was already Saturday. Although it was the end of the week, you were still responsible enough to continue to take those birth control pills that Dr. Ahn had prescribed you each day. From the box, the directions read that you just have to take a pill each day but it doesn’t have to be at the same time. However, it is highly recommended that you take it at the same time so that you wouldn’t forget and so you followed the recommendation. You put the pills on top of your bedside table, to remind yourself to take it right before you go to sleep. It was for your safety, in case “anything” happens. You never know. During the week, you were having frequent text messages with Kouji as he sent you articles of new game releases and gameplays of NewTubers who were already reviewing the trending games that were already out. Sometimes, he’d even send weird memes and shitposts to you on the side just to laugh about them. One day in that same week after you and Gun did the usual training session together, you were having lunch with him until suddenly you heard the notification ping from your phone. When you checked to see who the message was from, it was of course, from Kouji. He just sent you a meme of one of the games that you two were talking about from yesterday. He managed to make you laugh at how hilarious you thought it was, as you texted him back about how you felt from the meme he just sent. With the distracting dings from your phone, Gun who was quietly eating, was starting to get annoyed at your frequent text messages as he asked furiously, “(Y/N), can you put the damn phone away for once?! You’ve been at it for a few days now. Who the hell has been texting you so much that you have to immediately respond to them every time they send you a text?”
Feeling guilty from Gun’s outrage, you finally set it down as you looked down at your plate then said, “Sorry… it was just Kouji. He and I have been talking about this new PC game that just released and we became fans of it.”
Gun sighed saying, “Good grief. Over a fucking game? Well, you did mention that you were interested in games before. For some reason, I thought you meant outdoor games or board games. But either way, you guys are so childish.”
“You wouldn’t get it.”
“As if I even want to get it. I don’t see the appeal of having to play games on the computer all the time. I would rather just work.”
“Well good for you. At least you have a hobby that you like, so go ahead and stick to that.” Annoyed, you decided to get up and clean your own side of the table before taking your phone with you and storming off to your room without even saying a word to him, leaving Gun to sit at the table alone. Vexed by your attitude, he muttered to himself, “What the hell is her problem nowadays? Ever since I got her that phone, it’s like she’s been addicted to it. Nonstop texting and shit, as if I’m not even here at all. I shouldn’t have gotten her that damn phone. Tch, what a fucking joke.”
After that day, Gun gave you rigorous amount of training throughout that week. The treatment became much harsher as he gave you nonstop, fight after fight after fight. You were forced to get up every time you finished a fight, as he made you duel with him an extra time. Whenever he does this, you would protest because it was already lunch time and your body was already tired, but he would just ignore your refusals. He didn’t care if you were starving at that point. He just wanted to see you suffer, for those days that you had put him through of not being able to look at him properly. Not being able to exchange words with him as often as you used to. It pissed him off every time your attention was somewhere else, and he hated that ridiculous feeling. As his movements during the fights became even more intense, you were surprised that you’ve managed to even LIVE through those exhausting fights. Whenever the training sessions would finally end, you’d always collapse on the ground panting while sweating buckets as Gun would just leave you there without letting you know that he’d be taking his leave. His actions altogether made you question yourself why he’s been acting like that recently.
When Saturday finally came around, Gun decided to teach Aikido on that day since he mentioned to you before, during that week, that he needed someone to help him demonstrate how to properly pull the move. While lecturing this time, he told you to stand up as he guided where your hands needed to be placed and how to properly position your form, with his own hands. As he was doing so, your cheeks couldn’t help but feel flushed from just the small physical contact that he was giving you. “Aikido was created as a form of self defense and it’s all about learning how to disarm someone by using their own attack momentum to your advantage. It’s a Japanese martial art that does not involve much harm, since it mainly focuses on getting the right grip while doing it softly. Although, it does comprise of grappling and joint locking. You need to know how to properly throw someone off balance and how to lock their joints to the point that they’re restricted from using their own hands to attack back. Positioning of one’s hand onto someone’s arm and how fast you can accurately act upon it can disrupt their stance as well. However, you don’t have to defend by just using their arm. It can be in other places where they are vulnerable, like the back of their neck but that’s just another option. Remember that if you do it correctly by controlling your breathing and by physically handling your opponent the right way, then you won’t have any problems by flipping them over with ease.”
During his lesson, all you thought about was how close you were to him and how much he was touching you directly, even if it was mostly your hands and arms. You did manage to listen to him though, which was a shock since you were a blushing mess.
Ughhh when is the demonstration going to happen? I don’t know how much more I can take from this…
Saved by the bell! From the front door of the house, you heard the door bell rang once. Then a few times. Which then turned to an extreme amount of times, as the rings were beginning to sound like sirens going off. In response, Gun’s face turned to a mean scowl, as he let go of your hands and angrily strolled towards the door to get it. When he opened the door, Gun was greeted by the sight of his co-worker, Joon Goo Kim.
“Gun, what took you so long and why aren’t you dressed yet?! Our ride is already waiting for us outside!”
“Yeah, I know.”
“What the hell do you ‘know’, huh? I was expecting you to be all dressed, you bastard! You know how Charles would get mad if we don’t show up on time! That old man can be such a fucking pain to deal with. I mean, come on. Who does he really think he is sometimes, the president of South Korea?! […]”
As he walked inside Gun’s house, Gun’s sanity was starting to decline from Goo’s unstoppable rants. In a way, Gun knew that Goo would be coming to pick him up as he thought of this as a perfect time to demonstrate to you on how Aikido is actually done. Gun started to walk towards the backyard, as Goo followed behind him while blabbering away about Charles Choi and the annoying things that Charles would assign them to do most of the time. From outside the backyard, you could hear someone’s voice coming from inside but you knew right away that it wasn’t Gun’s voice, but Goo’s. When both of them reached the backyard, you caught sight of Goo who was dressed formally in a matching fancy dark grey Tom Ford suit and pants combo, while wearing a black tie. He even got fancy dark brown leather dress shoes on, that were polished nicely. You assumed that Goo was here to pick up Gun for the HNH Group party for today, as you watched them. Gun led the way towards you while he let Goo go off on whatever he was ranting about from behind him. When Gun stopped right in front of you, he announced to you as he said, “Watch closely (Y/N). THIS is how you do it properly.” Gun turned around on his side to give you a better view of his stance and how he positions himself, grabbing onto Goo’s arm all of a sudden before grappling him with such speedy gracefulness.
“[…] I don’t know what’s gotten into his head lately? Does he even know how often we tried to do his bidding for him? It’s fucking annoying. I don’t understand why he couldn’t just do it himself since he’s that stro- WOOAAAHHH!!!”
While observing Gun’s demonstration, your eyes widened at how swiftly Gun flipped Goo over with just a flick of his wrist. It happened so quickly that you didn’t even see him exert any effort into that Aikido technique that he just pulled. When Gun took Goo’s wrist into his hand, he pulled it enough for Goo’s center of balance to break. Then, Gun tossed Goo in a swift roll, leaving Goo to fall on his back. At the same time, it was like watching a scene in slow motion, as Goo slowly fell onto the ground with his back impacting the grass first. With a thud, Goo lightly groaned on the ground, still trying to process what just happened. Gun gave a satisfied sneer at the sight of Goo finally shutting up from his annoying tirade. As Gun’s eyes met with yours, he said, “I’ll go and get dressed. We’ll continue this tomorrow, so just remember my words and remember what I showed you today.” With an understanding nod, he let you go, making his way back inside the house to get ready for the party. Now, your focus was on Goo who was still laying on his back on the floor, lifeless.
Is he okay? Should I lend him a hand?
“Um, Goo? Are you alright…? Do you need help?”
Goo didn’t answer as his body continued to stay there, motionlessly. Worried, you began to think if Gun had probably knocked him out or something. The poor guy must’ve accidentally hit his head on the ground, hard enough for him to pass out on the spot.
Oh no… I think Gun went a bit overboard with that flip. What should I do? Should I call him over here? But what if he ACTUALLY killed Goo on accident??? Does that mean Gun will end up in jail?! But if that happens, is he going to make me help him dispose of the body?! What if he makes me drag Goo’s body over to the Han River at night and then dump it?! Is he going to force me to be quiet?!
As you started to hyperventilate, you tried to take deep breaths. Big inhales and exhales was the way to go to prevent yourself from getting consumed by your own panic.
Okay, okay, (Y/N). Just stay calm! I need to make sure that he’s still alive. I need to check his pulse first…
Stealthily, you tip-toed around Goo’s body as you saw that his eyes were closed. Once you stopped right in front of him, you crouched on your knees then reached two fingers over his neck to check his pulse. Right when your hand barely reached his neck, a hand suddenly grabbed your wrist, making you jump and shriek loudly from the unanticipated grab.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
The unexpected touch caused you to lose your balance and fall backwards, landing on your butt with a hard thud. You winced from the pain that you felt on your bum, in which you heard a laugh in front of you. Your eyes followed the voice of whoever was laughing hysterically. When they have stopped at that person’s caricature, you deducted that the person who was responsible for your fall was none other than Goo. He was hugging his stomach while rolling on the floor laughing at your reaction to his prank.
“God, that was so fucking funny! I didn’t think you’d react like that, (Y/N)! But, hey, my bad…” You were too stunned to even reply to him, as you watched him get up on his own, brushing off the grass from his fancy outfit in the process. Out of nowhere, you heard the backyard’s sliding door slam open, as Gun came rushing into the yard already dressed in his brand new midnight black Dior suit. It came as a matching set with the smoothed out pants. Over his suit, was a long black wool Dior coat which went well with his suit. There weren’t any wrinkles on the clothing that he was wearing either, which was appropriate for his formal party attire. The suit that he had on had a breast pocket, in which a small gold chain was hanging on his left side, from within his pocket. With his suit was a wine colored tie, that displays his refined tastes. Underneath his suit, was his usual white collared long sleeved shirt. In each end of his suit sleeve, were gold “LV” cuff links, which exudes a classy aura from him. Around his right wrist was a gold Rolex watch, with real diamonds encrusted around the rim that glistened underneath the sunlight. The fancy shoes that he was wearing were new black leather dress shoes, which were more polished and had pointier tips than his original pair. His hair was styled nicely, complimenting his handsome features that were already attractive as they were. He managed to comb his hair back, creating a slicked back hairstyle by also lathering it with gel to make his hair stay like that throughout the day. Gun looked like a suave movie star, especially with those black shades on. As he rushed into the scene, you caught a strong whiff of the scent of his expensive Dior Sauvage cologne. Everything about him was perfect to the last detail and everything about his appearance made his aura stand out even more, captivating you unintentionally with his powerful physique. However, this wasn’t the time to marvel at him.
“(Y/N)!!! WHAT HAPPENED?!”
Goo waved at Gun as he said in a cheerful way, “Gun! You’re looking pretty snazzy in your suit. I guess we’re ready to go now! Let’s get going befo-” Goo was surprisingly interrupted by Gun’s fist that was drilled into his stomach. Goo staggered a few steps back from Gun’s impact, as he snickered at the sight of Gun glowering at him with a face of clear indignation. “Gun, you didn’t have to be so violent…” Gun kept his fist clenched, as he said in a low wrathful tone, “The hell did you do, Goo? I heard (Y/N) scream, and now she’s on the ground? You better give me a good fucking explanation for the shit you just did, or else I’m going to have to murder you…” Goo coughed up a bit of blood into his hand due to the heavy blow to his stomach, which did not cease that smirk on his face. “My, my, you can be quite the monster. Already throwing hands right before the party? I was hoping to do it afterwards, but you’re giving me no choice here…”
While watching the both of them in front of you, you could feel the palm of your hands sweat. Your heart was already beating rapidly due to the worrisome ordeal that’s about to go down if you don’t stop them somehow.
Crap… what should I do? This is starting to get out of hand! Why did Gun have to punch Goo in the stomach? Alright, that’s it. I need to get up. Come on (Y/N), let’s… go!
Gun was starting to crack his knuckles, preparing himself to beat Goo with every ounce of bloodlust that he had. Goo was just standing there with his hands in his pockets with a smug look shown on his face, like he was inviting him to attack first. While struggling to get up as quickly as possible, you kept your eyes on both of them to make sure that they haven’t begun fighting each other. Finally, you were on your feet. Your legs were a little off-centered, but that’s fine. At least you were ready to stop them from continuing on with their little showdown. Gun stretched his dominant arm outwards from behind him, as he taunted Goo. “Are you ready to get fucked?” Goo gave a snarky chuckle as he replied back to Gun saying, “That sounds very dirty, Gun. Have you no shame at all? Saying such things right in front of (Y/N) like that.” Gun gave a scornful laugh, almost amused by Goo’s endless jokes till the end. “Even when you’re about to get beaten shitless, you’re still joking. You better not regret your actions now…” As Gun pulled out his fist ready to strike Goo, you abruptly appeared right next to him as you grabbed onto Gun’s muscular arm from behind while yelling out, “NOOO!!!” The both of them were taken by surprise, watching you hold onto Gun’s arm as tightly as you could. Gun’s threatening gaze met with your desperate eyes as you tried to tug his arm away from Goo. “(Y/N), let go of me. I need to beat this guy’s ass for a change…” You shook your head in a disobediant way while saying, “Don’t, please! He didn’t do anything wrong! It was just a prank! I just reacted naturally by screaming! It’s not even that serious…” Gun’s face softened as he slowly brought his arm down. He turned around to face you, asking directly, “Is that true?” Without hesitation, you nodded your head right away. Gun looked at you with a stern expression, checking to see if you were telling the truth. You seemed to be alright with it, so he decided to let the situation go. On the other hand, Goo was a bit surprised to see Gun pacified just by your words. This only fueled his mischievous side even more, seeing that you had Gun somewhat under your spell. It’s just that you didn’t even realize it.
Without hesitation, Gun started walking back inside the house saying, “We don’t want to be late to the party, so let’s go.” Goo’s face transitioned to an agitated expression before chasing after Gun while shouting, “Hey, wait for me! I was the one who said to go in the first place!!!” When the two of them made it inside, you exerted a great big sigh of relief from managing to stop them from fighting.
Whew, what a relief. I don’t know what would have happened if I didn’t jump in there to stop them. They could have seriously injured each other or WORSE… they could have beaten each other to death.
Picturing them inflicting pain and immense violence onto each other made you tremble at the spot. You weren’t going to let that thought concern you any further, as you realized that you needed to see them off. Speedily, you entered the house before closing the sliding door behind you. Eventually, you caught up to them at the front of the door about to head out. Goo was still butt-hurt that he hasn’t received an apology from Gun for overreacting to what happened at the backyard. “Gun, I deserve a proper apology. You just punched me without even talking it out! Like come on man, that’s not what bros do!” Gun was at the verge of strangling Goo by the neck but he was keeping his cool together, just because he’s aware that you’re still there with them. While ignoring Goo, he made his way towards you then stopped right in front of you. His eyes looked down into yours saying in his usual informative tone, “I’ll be leaving now. I won’t be there for too long. Only a few hours. While I’m out, remember my rules. The food for today’s lunch is in the fridge so just get it and and heat it up. And if there’s an emergency, call or text me if you need anything.” You gave an affirmative nod, letting him know that you got every last bit of his instruction. “Oh, and one more thing…” He leaned in closer to you then whispered, “There’s something in your room that’s worth checking.” After whispering those words to you, he turned around instantly leaving you in such a confused state.
What did he mean by that?
From behind, you followed Gun and Goo out the door like a mother seeing her own children out. While watching them walk out the door, you waved at them with a bright smile, giving your upbeat goodbyes. “Bye! I hope you guys, um… have fun!” Gun turned his head around to give you one last glance as he jeered, muttering to himself, “Who does she think we are, five?” Goo gave you a wave back as he yelled out loud, “Bye (Y/N), I hope your butt is okay!” From hearing Goo’s goodbye, Gun shot Goo a nasty glare as he asked in a threatening way, “What the hell did you mean by that?” Goo snickered at Gun’s dangerous tone, as he told him, “Now you’re just thinking wrong. I didn’t do anything to her butt, so you don’t have to worry about it. And if you keep scowling like that, you’ll get wrinkles at such a young age, Gun. You’re already blessed with an attractive face, so don’t ruin it along with your body.” That’s it. Gun decided to ignore Goo for the whole entire time that they’re together since he cannot stand him without having a huge urge to hit him. As the two of them got in the car, you still stood there, waving them goodbye. When the car finally left the driveway and was out of sight, you then closed the door behind you.
Now that they’re gone, I might as well see what he was talking about.
Your feet headed straight for the stairs since you decided to go to your room to see what Gun was referring to. Right when you made it to your room, your eyes couldn’t believe what you were seeing on your bed.
Wha- … What the hell is all this for?!
On your bed were loads of shopping bags that belonged to expensive clothing brands. On the biggest bag, was a sticky note that caught your attention. You removed it from the front of the bag as you read it to yourself:
“Get ready, and dress up in these. It’s not definite that I might be back sooner than I expect, so anticipate my return to be in the next five hours. I even got you makeup and other beauty products, so be grateful and use it wisely. Don’t make yourself look like a clown. I’ll pick you up right when I come back.”
While reading his note, your heart started to beat heavily through your chest, conflicted on what to even think or say about all of this.
What the hell? Why did he give all of these to me? There’s way too much stuff! Like, how can I even accept all of these?! I don’t even know how to use makeup, and he expects me NOT to look like a clown?! Ha, please! I’m starting to think that this man is trying to get all of my money. But wait a minute. So all of those bags he was carrying last week… were they mostly for me? How the hell will I even pay him back now, if he keeps gifting me stuff?! UGH, HE’S SUCH A PAIN!!!
You crumpled the note in your hand, squeezing it out of frustration. A tactical grin formed on your lips, laughing at the challenge that he had just dumped on you. “Fine. If you want to be like that, then you better expect that I’ll be paying you back fully, Jong Gun Park.” Eventually, you’ve rummaged through every bag that you had. Among the bags, you found a long silk black bustier evening dress with a backless hole that goes all the way down to your waist from behind while the back of your dress was only held together by one small strap centered on the back, like a bralette. The dress was held up and connected from the back of your neck by a long black fabric that was meant to be draped down, along both sides of your shoulders from the front. The front of the dress displays how strapless it was, with its top half designed to have horizontal silk folds sewn together. On your left breast was a small gold Chanel symbol pinned on there, which shows off its luxuriousness. However, the bottom half displayed to be tight, as the purpose for its style was to show off your curves until it smoothed out to a finishing drapery, flowing loosely at the bottom near your feet. Altogether, it was a beautiful vintage dress, which was a rare dress of its kind. The dress was bought from Chanel, coming from the tag that you saw on it. Behind the tag, you took a peek at what the price of the dress was and… Oh Lord. That’s a lot of zeros. Frozen from shock, you shook your head to snap yourself out of the discouraging thoughts that could lower your self esteem of ever paying him back. Overall, you thought the dress was WAY too revealing, and it made you uncomfortable to even wear such a thing in public. In a way, this made you question what Gun was really thinking, buying you a dress like this. However, knowing him, he’ll still make you wear it since he was the one who paid for it in the first place. You moved onto different accessories from the bags as you took out a box from a second bag.
Oh my god. Don’t tell me…
And indeed, it was. When you saw a shoe box that displayed in bold letters, “SAINT LAURENT”, you opened it to see a pair of leather black and gold colored stilettos. Each shoe had a gold heel that was about four inches tall. The heels were intricately designed with it’s signature “YSL” symbol at the bottom, marking its brand. And above each shoe, were two thin leather straps. One that wrapped around a leg right above your ankle, and the other strap located at the base of your feet, right behind the start of your toes. While observing one shoe in your hand, you looked at it dumbstruck due to the first impression of what these heels gave you. You still couldn’t believe that you were holding such expensive shoes, that could possibly be worth your whole apartment rent back home in Japan. Once you decided to put them to the side, you went through the rest of the things that Gun had given. While checking the rest of the bags, you found a black leather Chanel handbag with a gold chain as its strap and its gold symbol displayed on its front. With the bag inside of it, was a pair of gold Chanel earrings that had the Chanel symbol dangling from small gold chains and a gold necklace that had a pendant of the actual word of “Chanel” hanging from a thin stringed chain. Another shopping bag had loads of makeup products that came from popular brands, including brushes, makeup palettes, liquid eye makeup, and spray bottles of liquids for whatever purpose.
God, he got me the WHOLE SET. What even is this? “Primer”? “Foundation”? The only thing I know from here is lipstick. What the hell do each of these even do for my face? And- oh god…
You reached deeper into the bag full of makeup until you felt a long thin box. Once your hand grabbed onto it, you pulled it out of the bag to reveal a flat iron, for styling hair.
Wow… just, wow. You REALLY outdid yourself this time, Gun Park. Geez, I still can’t believe this. What is his motive for buying me these things? And what did I do to deserve all of this? He’s being awfully nice all of a sudden. I can’t figure this man out.
You had no choice, but to get yourself ready for whatever plans he had for you later. Over the span of those five hours, you decided to bring everything that Gun had bought for you, as you locked yourself in your bathroom to fix yourself up. After taking a shower, you decided to do your makeup. You didn’t know where to even start, so you decided to go on NewTube to search for a makeup tutorial fit for the event of the evening. With all the makeup products that you had and your flat iron, you tried your best to follow whatever the makeup artist was doing on your phone screen. With a dab of foundation, blending of colors and sparkling palettes on your face, and the application of fake eyelashes with other eye makeup, you managed to somehow pull it off. The only thing that was delaying your makeup application was the eyelash curler, which scared you a bit. That contraption hurt at first since you accidentally shut it on your eyelid, making you flinch. It hurt a bit, but that wasn’t going to stop you from finishing what you just started. Once your look was almost finished, you took a short break by exhaling deeply from how tiring that was. It wasn’t as perfect as the makeup artist who did it in that makeup tutorial, but it was decent enough to pass. The way you did your makeup was a natural look, with shades of light coral and pink. With the finishing touches of those fake natural lashes, mascara, wine colored lipstick, blush, and highlighter, you finally sprayed your face with a liquid bottle that said “Setting Spray”. And with that, your face was transformed into a You that you could barely even recognize.
Wow, so this is what Jugyeong Lim felt when she did her makeup in True Beauty. It really does change your appearance into a different person, despite how heavy my face feels right now from how caked it is. Aw man, what time is it? I forgot to check the time!
When you checked the time on your phone, it was barely a minute till three in the afternoon. Luckily, your hair was already dry and you still had time to fix it up.
Alright! Makeup, done. Now hair…
You had to search for another tutorial on how to use the flat iron. You didn’t want to curl your hair, so you decided to just stick to the basics and use it for straightening your hair. From the tutorial that you watched, you had to plug it into the electric wall socket and leave your flat iron there for about ten minutes for it to heat. During that time, you decided to walk out of the bathroom real quick to get a few hair ties, your brush, and your comb. When you’ve returned, it was time to begin with the straightening. You followed the tutorial by spraying your hair with a heat protectant, which will help prevent heat damage to your hair. Next, by taking a piece of your hair from the rest, you tied a bunch of parts of your hair into small sections to easily separate each part for styling. This technique really did work, as it helps you know which part had already been ironed. Starting from the bottom sections, you clamped the heating iron down a piece of your hair close to your scalp, as you slowly glided it down to the tip of your hair which resulted in a silky yet smooth part of hair. You continued to do this for about forty-five minutes, until you’ve gotten every piece done. Once you’ve finished ironing your hair, you got a serum bottle of Argan Hair Oil, taking a bit of it into your hand and applying it from the tips of your hair while working your way up towards your scalp. The purpose for this, as stated by the NewTuber in the tutorial, was another serum that protects your hair while also making it look shiny and smooth. After putting on the oil, you combed your hair by parting your hair through the middle, then smoothed it out to finalize your entire look. With your makeup and hair done, you’re finally ready to dress into the clothing that Gun got for you. You managed to put on the jewelry, the shoes, and the bag on, but it was just the dress that you had trouble with. You couldn’t really pull on it yourself since you had shorter arms than you thought you would, which made you groan in frustration from the struggles of putting on this dress.
Dammit! I can’t reach it! Ah geez, I need to hurry up! Quickly, before he-
A notification dinged from your phone, as it said that you got a text message from “Yuzuru”. When you checked to see what it said, it read:
“I’m on my way home and will be there in 5 min. Be ready when I get there.”
No, no, no, no, no, no!!! I’m not ready yet! Urgh- curse this stupid dress! Why do I have to wear this thing in the first place?! This dress should have a zipper on the side instead, or something easier to pull on!
You sent him a thumbs up emoji, while you start to panic in the bathroom. Many thoughts were going off in your head, as you asked yourself if you should just go out with the strap detached or just say that you couldn’t go by pretending to be sick. You couldn’t even put anything over your dress since you didn’t have any sweaters or coats that would go with your outfit. This was an important decision to make and you’re running out of time.
All of a sudden, while still struggling to put on your dress properly, you heard the loud beep from the front door opening outside as Gun called you from downstairs. “(Y/N), I’m back! Let’s go!” When you heard his voice, you left the bathroom and opened the bedroom door as you shouted, “Just one moment!” before continuing to attempt to connect the strap once more. Gun waited for you downstairs for five additional minutes, until he decided to head upstairs to see what’s been taking you so long. When he made it in front of your door, he gave it a few knocks as he yelled from behind it. “(Y/N)! What the hell is taking you so long to get ready?! You better open the door, or else I’m coming in the-” He didn’t expect you to open the door so suddenly, as you only gave it a slight crack open. He could only see a part of your face from behind the door when you whispered to him, “P-please, give me a few more minutes. I’ll be done by then.” When you were about to close the door on his face, Gun grabbed onto the door knob to stop you from closing the door on him as he said in a sinister tone, “Move.” Scared from his demanding tone, you backed away from the door, allowing him to enter the room.
The gaze of Jong Gun Park made you feel weak as he stared down at you with such a serious expression. His eyes scanned your entire body. Starting from your head, down to your dress, and eventually to your shoes. Every inch and every detail that he took of you was interpreted as absolutely perfect. He still couldn’t believe how gorgeous you were in his eyes. Such elegance, with a hint of sexiness. You’re a woman so breath-taking, that he had to control himself from pinning you onto the bed behind you for him to do such irresistible things to you. Gun still finds it rare to see you dressed in rich clothing such as this, and to see your face and hair done just because of him. However, regardless if you did your makeup or dressed up more properly today, you were still beautiful to him even if you didn’t try to improve your appearance. He thought that now wasn’t the appropriate time to think about such thoughts, which made him focus back on what the issue was at hand. “You look fine to me, so what’s the problem?” You averted your eyes from him, looking off to the side with a light flush of scarlet beginning to display itself onto your cheeks, making them even more rosier than usual. “I-it’s… the strap.” Gun was puzzled at first, asking, “What strap?” You started to fiddle with your fingertips nervously, saying in a soft whisper, “The strap… on my back… c-can you… help… me?” It took a second for Gun to figure out what you were talking about until he snickered before commanding you to “Turn around.” for him. Obediently, you did as you were told, as you slowly yet bashfully, turned around for him to face yourself towards the direction of your bed. Gun swept your hair gently off to the side of your left shoulder. His eyes started to trail down your exposed back, as he stared at your clear skin. The last time he laid eyes on your back was that one time when he did you on the couch. It was tempting to reminisce those memories, while he fumbled with your back strap from behind. While he was trying to attach one side of the strap to the other, you couldn’t help but blush madly at what was currently going on.
Is this real? Am I dreaming? Geez, this is so embarrassing! I can’t believe that I had to ask him for help just for him to do this. Ugh, when did it suddenly get hot all of a sudden? And what is even happening right now???
At that moment, it was like your vision was seeing swirls. You could feel your body starting to heat up from how close Gun was to you. Was it his body heat affecting you? You couldn’t tell. You could even feel your heartbeat booming deep inside your chest. That deep “lub dub” tune was all you heard through your ears, from how tense you felt. Once you felt his hands finally release the strap on your back, you assumed that he was done attaching the strap onto your dress. You turned your head around to thank him with gratitude saying, “Thanks Gun, I don’t know what I’d do without-” However, when you turned your head around, you stopped midway as his face was already in front of you, due to him leaning in close to you from behind. With a concerned demeanor on your face, you asked, “Gun? Is there something wrong?” All of a sudden, you felt Gun’s hand graze down your exposed back softly, earning a soft gasp from you. The touch from his hand was like a feather running lightly onto your skin, making you tingle. His hand continued to slide down your spine, as it made its way down to your hip, and then onto your ass. You felt his other hand hold onto your other hip, as he started to rub your ass with his busy hand in such a sensual way. The friction of the cloth rubbing against your ass from the movement of his hand was enough to cause you to emit a few moans from your mouth, in which you immediately had to cover your mouth to hide them. While he was doing this to you, you glanced at his eyes, and you could have sworn that his eyes were now filled with pure lust. With a breathy whisper, he said into your ear, “You’re a real temptress, (Y/N). Tempting me like this, knowing that you’re too irresistible to do this to. You’re really wearing this dress that I picked out for you, just for me, right? I know that you could’ve refused this in the first place, yet you decided to wear this in front of me. How bold of you…”
From Gun’s sultry talk, you already know that the evening that’s ahead of you, will just have to wait. There’s no chance that the grasp that he had on you would soon release, now making you regret ever asking him for help.
Oh god, what have I done?
[End of Ch. IX]
#lookism#lookism fanfic#lookism x reader#lookism x y/n#lookismaddict#lookism webtoon#gun park#park jonggun#lookism gun#park jonggun lookism#gun park lookism#gun park x reader#jonggun x reader#lookism jonggun#goo kim
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It's Library Trade Roundup time, baby!
Descender: Deluxe Edition Vol. 2 by Jeff Lemire, art by Dustin Nguyen -- I will be honest, I was reading this primarily because I love how Nguyen paints space in watercolors. Otherwise, I'd say that this was a fun, easy read. I don't think the plot ever really hooked me but I liked it well enough. I'll probably pick up Ascender (the sequal series) at some point which has a more fantasy vibe I believe, because while this wasn't one of my top comics, I certainly don't dislike it. And also I do like whenever Nguyen does the watercolors. (I am a little annoyed that it appears that Effie has contracted dead mom syndrome in the Ascender though because I really liked her.)
Dawn of X vol. 3 by various -- I am continuing to poke my way through these because it looks like my library has a good chunk of them. It's honestly kind of fun reading this in an approximation of publishing time (picking up a new volume of 6 #Xs every few weeks). Marauders continues to be one of my favorites. Fallen Angels continues to not work for me, and it's always fun when it calls back to previous comics and I get to go 'sure, why not, might as well happen' as opposed to actually knowing the callbacks. (I am being serious here. I do want to read more X-men comics but I am also down to just vibe.)
The Forged Vol. 2: Home Sweet Home by Greg Rucka and Eric Trautmann, art by Mike Henderson -- Look this is very by Greg Rucka like most of his original work. This comic is in the space marine genre which I am here for. I had read the first volume digitally, and I've come to the conclusion that this is just one of the comics I need to read physically because it's published in the same oversized format as Historia, and while the art doesn't have that insane level of detail, it still just breathes way better full sized whether than on my little tablet. I enjoyed this volume much more than the first and I think having it full sized was a big contribution (as well as the fact that I read the first volume while sitting in the back corner of a full car on the way to vacation which probably didn't help either.) This was also a downtime arc and I liked how it built out the characters and the world more rather than the more action focused first arc. Issue #9 is coming out next week I believe, so I'll be waiting for when the 3rd trade comes out and my library gets their hands on it to see how this next arc goes, but I'm looking forward to it!
Coffin Bound Vol. 1: Happy Ashes by Dan Watters, art by Dani -- I picked this up because I was curious about reading more of Watters' work, but I only ended up reading half of this before deciding it wasn't doing it for me. There were interesting elements, but I'm not sure what to say other than it just didn't click.
The Autumnlands Vol. 2 Woodland Creatures -- This continues to be right up my alley. I liked seeing more of the world and the implications of nuclear energy in this volume were very interesting. Seeing Dusty rub off on Learoyd, the plotline with the Galateas, and all the fun sci fi fantasy fusion of the world was all very fun and it left me sad that there's only 11 issues of this.
Sleepless Vol. 1 by Sarah Vaughn, art by Leila Del Duca -- Courtly intrigue/romance + Fantasy makes this quite different from a lot of the other comics I've been reading, but still very enjoyable. The artwork is beautiful for this (I love all the pretty dresses) and has a very nice atmosphere. I liked seeing Poppy trying to navigate the court after everything got shaken up on her and the worldbuilding was also interesting.
#havendance reads comics#descender#the forged#the autumnlands#coffin bound#sleepless#x men#carthago delenda est
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Introducing, me! The author!
note**: This isn’t that organized because I just got back from the lake and I’m actually exhausted. I just had to post it now since it’s been in my drafts for forever and if I didn’t do it today, I wouldn’t do it at all.
Name: You can just call me Space or Infinite, or anything space related!
Pronouns: I go by any pronouns, I don’t mind what you refer to me as. I’m AFAB and people typically use she/her for me, but I really don’t care, female, male, non-binary, I just don’t have labels on anything me wise. (it just doesn’t bother me, you can use they/he/she, literally anything and I promise, i’ll be okay.)
Writing info about me!:
I apparently get sick easily (recent months) if I take a prolonged break (with no scheduled fics out), I probably just got sick, couldn’t write, and I’m trying to recover [in my bio there’s a question of ‘am I sick?’ This is how I update you guys if I’m actually sick.]
I’m in a lot of fandoms, it’s just that I forget. So I write for more fandoms than listed, and for more characters than listed, I’m just forgetful. (You can just send an ask or message me if you want to know if I write for something)
I love writing and I take the stories I write seriously! I spend a good amount of time on them :) I’ve been writing stories since I was very little and I’ve even been writing a book.
I write on ao3 (I post these stories there along with others, don’t get on me too much though because I haven’t been transferring the stories over, I will soon lol)
I was a wattpad kid before ao3 and here (what an era 💀, no i will not talk about the horrors I wrote there that will never leave my mind)
My favorite character at the moment to write for (out of the ones I’ve written so far) is Max Thunderman because he’s fun and he was my favorite as a kid.
I have a million ideas a day, so if you see me yapping about god knows what (i’m so serious about god knows what, because i don’t know what i’m talking about half the time) and then I don’t post for three days (just of me being silly, not fic wise) it’s because I’m writing everything down into my notes and planning them out for when I have time for writing.
I swear I also write for what I enjoy not just requests, but I love answering requests! Even on the list of fics coming out, some of them are stories I just really really wanted to write and requested for myself (not like through the inbox, just in my head)
The reason I always make any of my fics neutral for the reader (unless gender is specified in the request), is because of experience. I’m black, so to be honest as I grew reading fanfiction, it wasn’t very thought of to include black reader descriptions within x readers. It always had to be specified “x black!reader”. If it didn’t, it always said pale skin, long flowing hair, etc, etc. I don’t have pale skin and I have short coily hair unless it’s in braids, so it never resonated with me and I didn’t really get to connect with them, unfortunately.
So, I automatically do gender neutral but also, if you haven’t noticed I don’t specify skin color, eye color, height (but sometimes i make characters put their head on the readers, just depends on the placement, but i try to consider it), nothing of the sorts. It’s completely neutral so that everyone can enjoy it and not feel left out. I try my best to be all inclusive in my fics, because the fics I read for my favorite characters weren’t.
Random things about me:
My favorite color is green (dark forest green) (yes, I know I’m specific)
I play instruments (Piano, ukulele, drums) and I also sing. I was in chorus, theatre, and plenty of clubs growing up.
Studying is something I enjoy which is why I research for the fics I write! If you see anything specifically accurate I either already knew it or decided to research for it. Don’t be surprised if someone asks for where I found information and i put it in mla format as a response.
I genuinely enjoy conversation with everyone, so I encourage you guys to message me for anything.
- You have a question about my blog? I’ll answer it quickly since I have notifs on (for messaging only).
- You’re wondering if I write for something specific since it’s not in my listings? I’ll tell you if i’ve watched it, and if I haven’t i’ll watch it myself and then ask for details on your request.
- You want to ask how I do something? I’ll give you a step by step with links.
- You want to ask about me in general? Go for it!
- You just want to talk? I’m a professional talker, and also a professional listener!!
I’m currently studying psychology 🌝, as a major
I watch anime and read plenty of manga
I always fill my time doing something. I read, write, sing, draw, craft, build, clean, etc. I do anything and everything because I personally believe if I don’t, I’ll just rot away in bed and I hate the idea of that.
I cant do a single thing in the same spot for over two hours, not even that. If i’m writing, I’m constantly taking a break to watch tv, dance break to music, chores, planning for something else, or moving to a different project. (I get uninterested so quickly)
Trust me when I say I actually sleep a lot lmao. Some of you guys go into my messages saying you’re worried I don’t get enough sleep. The latest I’ve stayed up to write has been to like 12:30 in the morning, and I wake up at like 7:30-8:00 in the morning every time. Then I take a nap if I get tired in the slightest.
Most of the time though, I stop writing by 10:30, and go to sleep at 11. If I don’t, me staying up to two in the morning is because of my own poor choices (webcomics, manga, fanfiction, reading my own writings multiple times). Please don’t worry about me, I’m big on sleep so I’m never deprived of it. If I complain it’s just because I’m tired and can’t go to sleep because I’ll end up even more tired.
I have 3 piercings in each of my ears, one on my nose. I have 0 tattoos, because ironically, I’m terrified of needles.
I genuinely love literature more than the average person. I also just love reading and stories in a general sense. I ache to read every book I ever see, even though people say it’s impossible I will try to fulfill my dream until my death. To the point where I can whisper the words of poets who died centuries before my existence has come to mind. Only to keep their spirits alive for a little while longer, to tell the world that these authors are still desired and that the words paint pictures society should be craving to see.
**Any images are from a board I’ve been saving to on Pinterest for the past two years. Images I think reflect how I act majority of the time.
I can’t think of any other useless information about me, so I’ll stop here! I’ll probably add more stuff since I’m a talker lololol! Thank you for reading, love you bunches!
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Hades X Persephone Saga: A Game of retribution #3
Author: Scarlett St. Clair
Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Mythology
My Rating: ⭐⭐⭐/5.
Spice: 🌶🌶🌶
Goodreads rating: 4/5
Pages: 468
Published: 31 May 2022
A Game of retribution Review
Note: This book is intended for mature audiences over the age of 18 due to explicit content (steamy chapters).
Well, dear readers, hold on to your mythical chariots because we've been taken on yet another whirlwind ride with the gods of Olympus and the Underworld in "A Game of Retribution". Our old pals Hades and Persephone have returned, along with an entourage of divine drama that could only be rivaled by a soap opera airing directly from Mount Olympus.
Remember that old chestnut of a quote, “Knowledge changes perception”? This statement encapsulates the essence of this third installment perfectly. Hades, our underworld anti-hero, who once saw no issues letting souls meander off into the afterlife, is found in the midst of many a mortal miscommunication. Bless him, he did try to respect Persephone's time with her friend, Lexa, but as they say, the road to the Underworld is paved with good intentions. You'd think after centuries of existence, the dude would’ve mastered the art of timing and empathy.
On a side note, why was Persephone so desperate to keep Lexa alive? If I were to see my friend for eternity in a place like the Underworld (which, let's be honest, is essentially an eternal spa retreat for souls), would I really be so worried about a premature send-off? No, but maybe that's just me.
Meanwhile, Hades is found juggling a narrative equivalent of chasing his own tail. Every time he tries to investigate, interrogate, or perhaps indulge in a much-deserved nap, our dear Persephone, with her seemingly never-ending escapades, interrupts him. And poor Hades is dragged from one scenario to the next, like a divine yo-yo. At times, you almost wish for the guy to just hit the 'mute' button on his celestial phone.
We also delve deeper into Zofie's past. Remember Zofie? Persephone's bodyguard who packs more mystery than Pandora's box? Our glimpse into her history and Hades' hand in her life added depth to an already intricate tapestry of storylines. It’s akin to finding out that your mysterious friend who always wears sunglasses was actually a spy… and also once played in a rock band.
However, let’s address the papyrus in the room: the formatting and editing. Was there a minor deity in charge of this? Maybe the god of typos? The occasional errors, though not tragic, did sometimes feel like Hermes had misdelivered a sentence or two. And as for the formatting - the margins! It felt like reading a scroll that Zeus might have accidentally sat on. Perhaps it's a design choice meant to symbolize the vast emptiness of the void? If that's the case, kudos for thematic consistency. If not, let's hope the next edition will be more space-efficient.
In conclusion, A Game of Retribution scores a celestial 3 out of 5 stars from this humble mortal. For all its highs and lows, it's a must-read for fans of the series. And I, for one, am eagerly donning my toga in anticipation of the upcoming books announced by Scarlett St. Clair on her divinely curated Instagram. Bring on the melodrama, the myths, and maybe a map of Hades’ underworld investigations - because this mortal is here for it all.
Please note that this book is part of a series and can not be read as a stand alone. Lucky for you this can be your little weekend binge as almost all the books in the series has already been released !
Wait a minute boys and girls, check out these trigger warnings first:
Suicide
Death
Violence
Romance Tropes, you ask ?
Miscommunication
Marriage
Who do we meet in this book ?
Hades
Persephone (Perri)
What to read next:
Neon Gods (Dark Olympus) by Katee Robert.
The Cruel Prince by Holly Black.
Drag Me Up (Gods of Hunger) by R.M. Virtues.
Or just like read the next few books of this series.
#book review#books#book recommendations#romance books#bookstagram#bookworm#review#a game of retribution#hades#hades and persephone#persephone#booktok#book tumblr#book talk#book things#romance
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I am Affirmations For Positive Thinking Confidence And Success
This video is all about Affirmations For Positive Thinking Confidence And Success subject valuable information but we also try to cover the following subjects: -affirmations confidence abundance -do positive affirmations actually work -positive energy affirmations On Google you can discover a lot of info about 'Affirmations For Positive Thinking Confidence And Success' but let's be honest ... A Yt video is worth hundreds of words, and it's much easier to get the information that you searched after. That's why I produced this video clip regarding Affirmations For Positive Thinking Confidence And Success subject and also 'affirmations confidence abundance' Are you ready? Please enjoy this video and you'll thank me later! When using YouTube on your computer, the size of your video gamer will immediately adjust based on the readily available space in your internet browser window. If you wish to manually change the size of your video player, just change the size of your internet browser. Additionally, you can pick the Theater mode button in the bottom corner of the video player to view your video in a large player without entering into full screen, or the Miniplayer button to see in a smaller player. YouTube vids are offered in lots of resolutions. Some internet browsers do not support more recent video formats or quality options. This indicates these browsers might only have one or 2 video formats to select from. We recommend upgrading your internet browser or operating system for the best watching experience.
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HQ Boys Calling Their S/O Clingy Pt. 1
Character(s) included: Iwaizumi and Ushijima
Warnings: slight cursing
A/N: so imma try to make this look really pretty and shit. But if you want a pt 2 just put it in my ask box + what characters you want next! So I don’t know what to call this format thingy but anything with the line next to it (like now) is what happened the day before (when they called their s/o clingy) and everything not in that day won’t be! I also just ate like five airhead lmao. Well enjoy! Reblogs & follows are greatly appreciated! My ask box is always open to request, and if you wanna talk or just wanna say something! Please don’t laugh at my grammatical or spelling errors, I’m sorry!
My Masters List: here
My series : here
Credit: @/teesumu
Iwaizumi
When he came home all you wanted to do was hug him. It had been almost a week since he had gotten his new job. He was stressed all the time and never had time for you two alone. So what if you want just hug him for a bit.. you deserve that much right just that much of his time? So he walked in, and your eyes lit up... he was one of the few people you felt safe around. You ran up to him with a big smile and that goofy lovable personality of yours.
“Dinner is ready and then we can cuddle and maybe watch a movie. I have it all planned out!” You smile laughing a bit just imagining how fun it will be. He doesn’t look so amused though.
“I ate already and I am going to bed, y/n.” He didn’t even give you a second to process what he had said instead he just walked away. You follow him to the room you share smiling.
“Oh okay! We can just cuddle then!” You smile a bit and hop onto the bed next to him. Wrapping your arms tightly around him, not too tight, just perfect, you smile. Till you are shoved off. He looked at you with pure annoyance.
“Y/n, can you stop being so fucking clingy. You never stop trying to touch me,” He screamed and you just sat there with tears. God damnit. He was right, wasn’t he? You never gave him space. He turned his back and you turned away too. The tears silently fell.
The morning came faster than it should have. By the time he was awake you were out of the room. He got up and walked out and entered the kitchen.
“Morning y/n, I have the day off so we can do anything you want,” he smiled as he walked in, yet you weren’t there. He searched the whole house and you weren’t there. An hour passed and you walked in.
“Uh hey y/n.. where’d you go? I mean like you weren’t there when I woke up, love?” He smiled and you just gave a soft smile.
“Oh.. um I just went for a random drive for some coffee and drove nowhere for like twenty minutes,” you lied. You love doing that but to be honest you were talking to Oikawa for a bit and ranting to him.
“Oh um.. I have the day off if you just wanna hang out? Maybe go for dinner or something?” He smiles hopefully.
“Uh sure..” you sat far from him on the couch as the movie started. He looked at you and you tried not to pay attention.
“Uh do you need something?” You turn towards him.
“Oh um.. no, never mind,” he looks back at the tv confused. He wanted to cuddle yet was too embarrassed to say so.
Thirty minutes passed by and you were quite distant. “Um do you wanna cuddle or something..?” He smiles hopefully.
“I’m good thanks for asking,” you remain glaring at the tv.
“Um y/n is everything okay.. you’ve been really distant and I know you went to Oikawa’s place yet you told me otherwise..” he looks at you.
You freeze looking at him again, you look like a deer in headlights. Frozen and shocked. You say the first thing that comes to mind which is extremely dumb. “Uh I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You helplessly smile.
He looks at you, shocked. You were a terrible liar yet you still tried to, “why are you lying? I know you were there just tell me.”
“Last night I was thinking that you are right. I am too clingy and I need to give you some space,” you keep your on him “This morning you weren’t up and I just felt like talking so I decided to head out and not bug you.” Your voice breaks as tears roll down your cheeks. Wiping them away quickly hoping he doesn’t notice but it is already too late.
“Y/n... I didn’t mean it,” he feels like absolute shit right now and he doesn’t know what to do. “I..I like how you cling to me and how you just act like yourself. I..I love the sound of your voice so you can always talk to me. I didn’t mean for me to come off so rude to you and hurt you... you mean everything to me. I am so sorry y/n for making you so fucking uncomfortable. This is your house too and I shouldn’t do that to you...” he whispers holding your hands in his as he pulls you closer. Lifting you to his lap.
You try to climb off but his grip just gets tighter in a protective way.
“I’m sorry y/n... I didn’t mean any of that. I will make more room for us to hang out...” He smiles a bit wrapping his arms around your waist. “I love you so much..”
“I..I love you too,” you make out in between heavy deep breaths
Ushijima
You tried to call him multiple times, it was extremely late and you were worried. He normally would text you if he was going to practice a bit longer or he was going to head to dinner with his team. Knowing how worried you get and not wanting you to make him a whole meal when he is full. Yet he never picked up it was probably twelve thirty when he walked in.
He tried to walk in silently but soon found you awake in bed. You smile a bit getting up and giving him a hug. “Hey baby..” you mumble with your sleepy voice “where were you? I was worried sick,” you didn’t sound mad, just concerned. 
He slightly shoved you off making his way to his dresser to change. “Out.” He grumbled a bit.
“Are you hungry? I made dinner..” you smile slightly making your way closer to him.
“Can you just leave me alone? I don’t need you to be so god damn clingy! You’re not my mom and I am a grown ass adult. I don’t need you to stay up wondering where I was!” He took a deep breath calming down. You slowly backed down and just laid at your side of the bed closing your eyes. Slightly thinking about all the “problems” you have.
Morning came and when Ushijima woke up he was later than usual needing to rush a couple of things. You were on the couch, as he came in he looked for something to eat. “Y/n, do you know if there is anything I can eat?” He called out.
“I don’t know you can look, can’t you?” You look up from your computer for a split second before returning to gaze at your computer.
“Uh.. ya. Well bye!” He grabbed a banana and grabbed his stuff. Rushing out the door unsure what had possibly made you so harsh that morning. Forgetting everything he had said the night before.
When he came home it was early and you were already eating while using your phone. “I’m home!” He called.
You just smiled and returned eating. Your eyes locked on back onto your phone. Typing for a second.
“Who are you texting babe?” He smiled as he walked in.
“No one” you put your phone down. The sound of a text came up but you just ignored it walking to put your dishes away and then grabbing your phone to go back to your room.
“Uh.. y/n? You wanna hang out for a bit?” You turn and just shake your head.
“No I’m good thanks though.” You mumble before walking away. Him following close after.
“Are you okay..?” He mumbles as he joins you in bed.
“Ya. I’m fine,” you mumble as you plot your headphones in listening to some music.
He taps your shoulder and you take out one of your earbuds. “What’s going on.. what did I do?” He mumbled.
“I mean I am not your mother so I don’t understand why you need me to hang out with you and be your best friend. I mean I am just too clingy aren’t I?” You burst out.
“What?” He looks at you for a moment remembering the night before. “Wait y/n.. I didn’t me-”
“I don’t care if you didn’t mean it! You made me feel like absolute shit!” You look at him before getting up and heading to the spare room. “You can leave and go out. I don’t give a fuck just leave me alone for a bit.”
He goes to check on you two hours later. When he walks in he finds you crying. “Y/n, can we talk?” He whispered softly in his calming voice.
You look up wiping your tears. “I guess.”
“May I sit on the bed or would you like some space..?” He really didn’t want to make you feel worse then you probably already did.
“I don’t care do what you want,” it wasn’t like you to be so snappy. But you just wanted to get it out of your system. He sat down next to you and slowly reached out his arms. You slowly entered his embrace as he held you tight whispering sweet nothingness into your ear. His words are full of praise and truth.
“I am so sorry I made you feel like that. I should have texted you back. I know that you were just worried,” he rubbed your back slowly, making soft circles. “I don’t find you clingy.. and I like when you take care of me. You mean the world to me and I am sorry I made you think otherwise..”
Follows and likes are appreciated! Please reblog if you enjoyed it so more people can find my work! Thank you all for your support! Stay safe, and have a good rest of your day!
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#sports anime#anime#tendousthoughts#fanfic#haikyuu fanfiction#angst#fluff#iwaizumi#ushijima#hajime iwaizumi#hq ushijima#iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi fanfic#hq iwaizumi#ushijima wakatoshi#ushijima x reader#ushijima fanfic#series?#haikyuu fanfic#haikyuu ushijima#hq angst fanfic#hq fluff fanfic#Iwaizumi and ushijima#xics.fics
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I don’t think what went down with that e/lriel was fair. I think it was beneath you. I am also using my phone, so I apologise for any weird formatting.
Let me preface this by saying - You made valid points. I just don’t understand why you went to their post, and commented at all? To be honest, I don’t think you were in the right on that, and it makes us look bad. We’ve been accused of baiting in the past, and I’ve always scoffed at it..but you undeniably did go onto their post to seemingly start a fight. I also don’t think it’s a fair claim, that they could stop responding - when it was their post and blog to begin with, and not some random post that invited discussion. That is an unrealistic, and unfair expectation. I would tell someone who came into my space like that to “fuck off” too. That e/lriel you engaged with IS problematic, undeniably so. Everyone knows it. I just feel you gave them something valid to whine about this time. I am genuinely confused and frequently disgusted by our ACOTAR community as a whole. We call each other hypocrites, and yet do the very same thing we accuse our antis of. One of your reiterated points is “you hate when e/lriels say Eluciens lack reading comprehension” - a very fair gripe to be sure! However I’ve seen numerous posts from “our” side of the line, claiming that very thing of E/lriels..I’ve seen much worse claimed of them, by us..Truly, I wish you would have just vagued that E/lriel instead of engaging like that. It was disappointing, and I’m annoyed that today I actually feel bad for them.
I apologize that my responding to something in the Elain tag has upset you to the point that you felt the need to message me.
I LOVE a lot of the people that I've interacted with through Tumblr. I love reading their blogs, their ideas, their thoughts. And I love that there is a collective group who love Elucien like I do.
At the same time, I am still an independent thinker and operate based on my emotions and thoughts. If I feel angered over others being attacked then I'm not the kind of person who's going to sit back and do nothing. If something frustrates me and I feel driven to speak up, I'm going to do it.
Truly, I apologize if that somehow gives the collective Eluciens a bad name. But the Original Poster was ridiculing others under the Elain tag which leaves it open for anyone following the Elain tag to comment on.
I was presenting an opinion to her, in response to a post which I felt did not provide accurate information. If she did not like my reblog response, she could have ignored me. She could have blocked me. But she chose to respond and progressively got nastier. I don't think there is anything wrong with responding to an open blog that has the tag of Elain in it, regardless of whether or not that blog was created by her or not. She blogged something with a tag that would be seen by both Elucien and Elriels. That's like saying when an actor posts a promo for their movie, only people who agree with a certain group of critics should be allowed to comment. The Elain tag belongs to no one in particular which, in my opinion means it's open for discussion. When a neutral tag is used, people are going to speak up. I don't think that means anyone is giving their ship a bad name if it's done in a certain way. What gives certain sides of a fandom a "bad name" is not the back and forth discussion with someone. It's when name calling and belittling others happens. It's when people forget how to have any actual debate and resort to pettiness.
I'm not sure what more to say because while I'm sorry it bothered you to this extent, I'm not going to be the kind of person who doesn't speak out when I feel like it's in defense of others. I know I don't always succeed but for the most part, I try to discuss the book rather than turning into a personal attack. And while I don't enjoy having someone upset with me, I can't promise I won't speak out again in the future.
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Survey Writing Guide: Fandom Edition
Sooo! People are collecting survey data on fandom! Makes sense — fandom is an interesting population to study, and getting data on attitudes/behaviors/etc is a great way to try to find out the truth about popular points of contention about media. To get unbiased, meaningful data, though, you’ll want to make sure your survey is in good shape. This is a guide to try to help you do that.
I am assuming, if you are reading this, that you want your survey to be unbiased and interpretable, sampling from as many viewpoints as possible and getting data on opinions you might agree and disagree with. In other words, I am assuming that you want to do your fandom research in good faith. If that is not why you are making a fandom survey, then you can ignore this whole post. I would ask you to reconsider running a bad-faith fandom survey, but I can’t stop you. But just know that my assumption is that you’re out here in the honest pursuit of truth.
I’m not accusing a survey of being done in bad faith if it doesn’t follow my suggestions. I also realize most people are conducting these surveys in their spare time because they’re passionate & curious, not for the purpose of serious publication or whatever. I’m not telling you that you have to follow all or even any of the advice here. Do what you feel good about doing. Fandom should be fun!
This guide is only about surveys themselves, and will not help you get a good sample of your fandom. In other words, none of this advice will make sure your survey reaches obscure corners of your fandom, insular communities you aren’t in, or casual fans. A good survey is important, but it’s only one part of getting accurate data, and participation recruitment is a whole other thing.
This is also only intended to help with survey setup, not analysis or results reporting. You can write a great, unbiased, easy to understand survey, and still present your results in a way that is biased/doesn’t include good information/is hard to understand. Furthermore, once your results are public, they’re out of your hands: you might be well-meaning, but please keep in mind that some people might use your data to make unfair or incorrect assumptions about others, support biased arguments, or generally behave unpleasantly. That’s just part of survey work; don’t let it stop you, but don’t be surprised if/when it happens.
Now, onto the survey tips ~
Think about how to structure your questions
Use multiple choice answers/avoid free response answers as much as possible. This is going to be really helpful for you when it’s time to analyze your data: it’s so much easier to analyze responses that are just clicks of a box than responses that require you to read someone’s long explanation of an opinion and try to figure out what they mean. It also makes answering easier on your participants: clicking a box is a lot easier for them than writing out what they think. Giving an option for them to expand on their answer in a free response text box is great, but try to capture as many possible responses as you can in multiple choice questions.
Consider: should participants be able to give more than one response per question? A good rule of thumb for this is if different responses to a question are mutually exclusive or not: if they are mutually exclusive, only give people the option of clicking one box; if they’re not, let them choose as many as they want. For example, if you want to know somebody’s ONE favorite season of a show, only let them choose one season. If you want to know ALL the seasons they like, give them the option to choose multiple.
Only include one question per question
A LOT of surveys ask questions that are actually several questions in one, and that makes answering them difficult! For example, you might THINK you’re only asking one thing if you say “Are you introverted or shy?” as a yes/no question, but that is actually two questions: some people are introverted but not shy; some people are shy but not introverted; some people are both introverted and shy, and some people are neither. People who respond “yes” might mean they are one or the other or both, and people who respond “no” might mean they are one or the other or neither — and you’ll have no way of knowing, because your question was too ambiguous.
If you’re asking a question about a nuanced topic, make sure your question and possible responses are nuanced too
People in fandom have a lot of complex views, and giving them only a black-and-white way to tell you about those views means you will miss out on nuance and get inaccurate results. If you are wondering about opinions on a controversial pairing, asking “Do you think it’s okay to ship Reylo?” (for example) and only letting people respond yes or no is not going to capture the range of opinions that exist on Reylo. If you can include multiple answer boxes for people to click, do that!
Analyzing free response data (where people can write their own answer) is hard on you, as the survey writer, and people might not feel like explaining their opinions. Definitely include a free response box if you want, but also provide a lot of options for responses.
The more controversial the topic you’re asking about, the more nuance you should let your participants give in their responses. People in fandom often have very strong and very complex opinions about certain issues; you’ll want to make sure not to flatten those opinions too much, while still keeping them simple enough to analyze. Asking “do you enjoy reading fluff?” is (probably) not going to be too complicated, and you’ll likely be fine giving people 2-3 response options (yes/always, sometimes, no/never). But you should give a lot more response options if you’re asking “is it ever acceptable to ship two siblings together?”: some people will be fine with “yes, always” or “no, never,” but a LOT of people are going to want to specify conditions like “only if they are not blood relatives” or “only if it is framed as being bad” or “it’s acceptable sometimes but I personally avoid it,” etc. Make sure people without clear-cut opinions have the ability to give you their opinions too.
Use simple, clear language
Use language that is as simple and precise as possible. Keep questions short when you can. Avoid using a lot of slang and regional idioms: people come from all over the place in fandom, and might not know what you mean. People also have a lot of different reading levels: you want to make sure most of your participants can understand what you’re asking them.
There are some terms you can assume everyone in your sample will know, and some that you can’t: it’s up to you to figure out which terms are which. For example, most people in tumblr fandom space will understand what a ship is. They might not know what “IC” means though, so you might need to write it out as “in character.” Further, pretty much everyone in the MCU fandom might know what “Stucky” is, but not as many will know what “Coulwhip” is. You can make these kinds of technical terms easier for people to understand by just writing out all abbreviations and writing all pairings in the Name/Name format.
Use neutral language and keep your personal opinions out of it
Avoid inserting your own opinions into your survey, even if you expect that almost everyone participating will agree with you. Even “obvious” jokes won’t read as jokes to everyone; you might upset/offend/put off some group of participants disproportionately such that they won’t complete the survey, and you’ll miss a chunk of data you want. This is a problem, because say, for example, you really want to know if people’s favorite Supernatural ship has any correlation to fans’ personality traits — but if you poked fun at Dean somewhere else in your survey in a way that made Dean fans click off the page, then you’re going to lose a lot of Dean fan data that it would have been really useful for you to have, since Dean is a very popular character to ship with a lot of other characters.
A good-faith survey is also not the place to moralize. Fandom can be a very polarized place; you are not going to be able to predict which things you ask about are going to be morally objectionable to your participants, and if they’re going to agree with your moral judgments. Your results might surprise you! A survey where you hope to get accurate data is not the place to defend a problematic character you like or to call some group of shippers gross. Your best bet for not causing issues is to include stuff that’s controversial and to be as neutral about it as possible — for example, if you are asking about ships people like, include every reasonably popular ship (potentially excluding rarepairs/extreme rarepairs just because it’s hard to include all of those), even the ones you hate/think are harmful/whatever, and don’t comment on the goodness or badness of any of them.
Avoid “leading” questions to avoid bias
If you say, “Do you love this awesome TV show?” that’s going to be awkward to respond to for everyone whose answer is anything other than “yes.” Something like “What is your opinion of this TV show?” (with responses like: I love it, I like it, I have mixed feelings about it, I am neutral toward it, I dislike it, and I hate it) will give you a better sense of people’s genuine thoughts.
Select your multiple choice options thoughtfully
Be as egalitarian as possible in the options you provide to your fandom-specific questions that aren’t free response. If you leave out a major character on a list of favorite characters, for example, your participants are going to wonder why you did that — and you might not get data about that character, especially if you don’t include a free response option.
Avoid bias in your multiple choice answer options
If you ask people for their favorite and least favorite [something], make sure the list of [something] options for both of those questions is identical. For example, if you’re asking about people’s most liked and most disliked ships, make sure the list of ships you include for both questions is the same. Including Sylvie/Loki only on the “ship you most dislike” but not the “ship you most like” list might seem like a reasonable move to you if you don’t know anybody who (openly) likes Sylvie/Loki, but doing that will bias responses and make your data inaccurate. Some people will stop filling out the survey, some people who like Sylkie just won’t want to bother filling in the blank, some people might forget that they like Sylkie unless it’s right in front of their eyes as one of the response options, some people will feel judged and so they won’t answer your survey honestly, etc.
Follow common best practices advice for demographic information
Collecting information on respondents’ ages, genders, race/ethnicity, employment status, education history, etc is, luckily, very common, so there are a lot of standard questions about those things. I’ll just go ahead and list what I sometimes collect in my own surveys:
Age: for anonymous fandom surveys, I suggest using age groups (under 13, 13-18, 19-25, 26-35, etc) instead of asking people for their precise ages. Just make sure to include all possible age brackets. For example, don’t assume everyone in fandom is under 50.
Gender: unless you want a lot of nuance in your responses, it’s typically enough to include a list like: man/boy or male, woman/girl or female, nonbinary, genderfluid or bigender, and other. If you are interested in trans people specifically, I suggest asking that in a separate question (like: “Do you identify as transgender?”), rather than including binary trans identities in addition to binary cis identities in the same question. The exception to this is if you are including a very long list of gender options.
Race/ethnicity: (disclaimer that most of the data I collect comes from the US, so my best practices are most suited to that population. I welcome any feedback about the best way to ask about this for an international and/or non-US population.) I typically ask something like: “Which category best describes you?” and then give the options: American Indian or Native Alaskan, Asian, Black, Hispanic or Latinx, Middle Eastern or North African, Pacific Islander or Native Hawaiian, White, and other. Ideally, this list should allow multiple responses, so that multiracial/multiethnic people can give accurate reports.
Employment status: “What is your employment status?” with responses: employed full time, employed part-time, unemployed and looking for work, unemployed and not looking for work, self-employed, homemaker, student, and retired. If possible, let this be multiple choice, so that, for example, people who are students AND work can select both applicable options.
Education level: “What is your highest level of education?” with responses: some high school, high school diploma or equivalent, some college, college degree, some graduate education, Master’s degree, Doctorate degree, professional degree (e.g. M.D., J.D., M.Div, etc)
Sexual orientation: like with gender, you probably don’t need to provide a long, comprehensive list unless your survey is about sexual orientation specifically. Something like the following is probably enough to cover most of your respondents: “What is your sexual orientation?” with responses: straight/heterosexual, gay/lesbian/homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, and other.
Other questions: just try to make sure you are providing response options that will cover the majority of your participants, and include an “other” option if you’re not sure you’ve covered everything. There are a fair number of basic best practices documents for common demographics questions that you can find through Google, so if you’re not sure how to ask something, give it a quick search. You can also ask people you know who might know more about some specific demographic quality than you do to weigh in!
That’s it for now! I hope you find this helpful, either in writing your own surveys, or in evaluating surveys you are participating in!
#gonna just tag a few big fandoms i guess#supernatural#marvel#mcu#spn#star wars#game of thrones#harry potter#fandom#fandom survey#survey#resource#reference#mine#long post
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secrets - [choi beomgyu]
pairing: beomgyu x gn!idol!reader
genre: slight angst, fluff
summary: secrets could be exciting, but they also come with a cost
prompt: #5 - “i don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you”
word count: 1.2K
notes: another request! i tried to keep it angsty for a bit but who else wouldn’t give into beomgyu 🥺 hehe i hope you love! <3
“Y/N!” your bandmate semi-yells at you. “this is the 3rd time you space out and mess up our formation.”
you rub your temples out of irritation and groan. “i know, i’m sorry. i’m trying i am i-”
“take a break.” everyone sighs, and you know you’ve been frustrating your whole group all day. the leader pulls you to the side as the rest go grab some water. “you seem to have a lot on your mind.”
“i do, but i don’t want to make that an excuse. i know this choreography like the back of my hand i swear-”
“i know you do.” they rest their hand on your shoulder. “you do work hard, so i know this is something serious.” they read your expression and feel how your heart is beating a bit too fast. not because of the choreography you ran through at least 10 times, but because of the angst you feel when thinking about your relationship with beomgyu. “take the rest of the day off, i’ll think of an excuse.” you know your team cares about you, and you care about them as well. so you listen instead of arguing.
“alright… but, are you sure?” they give you a reassuring nod in which you return. “i’m sorry again.” you give them a hug and you’re already thinking about how you are going to make it up to them. “it’s fine. just be here at 7am tomorrow! sharp!”
“i will!” you say as you practically run out the door after you grab your bag. you get to the bus stop and start to pant as you wait for the next one to arrive. “he better be at the dorm…” you mumble to yourself.
you and beomgyu have had many conversations about the what if’s and why not’s when it comes to revealing your relationship. you’d think you’d be stressing about the public knowing, but you both haven’t even told your groups yet despite being together for over 4 months.
the bus arrives and the ride feels like 2 hours due to the anxiety in your body. when you get off, you observe your area to make sure no one is looking, and you walk toward the dorms. thank god there’s a door in the back of the building that leads to theirs so you don’t have to worry about sneaking inside.
you knock on the door without the intention of sounding aggressive but if you’re being honest, you could care less at this point.
beomgyu opens the door and grabs your wrist whilst looking around, pulling you inside. “w-what are you doing here? what if someone was home-“
“let me speak.” you remove his hand and take a deep breath. he looks at you with concern and nods hesitantly.
“beomgyu i don’t get it. why can’t we tell our members about our relationship? what are we so afraid of? i feel like i’m suffocating. my frustration is starting to show in my performance and i don’t know how much longer i can keep it in. i’m tired of hiding the fact that i don’t feel okay sometimes…”
beomgyu stands there taking your rant in. he bites his lip and caresses your cheek. he knows that calms you down. “y/n…”
“i’m tired, gyu. i hate lying. i hate feeling like i’m hidden. i hate hiding you. and i don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you.”
“i’m tired of hiding too, y/n.” you hold his hand while it’s still on your cheek to make up for the way you removed it a minute ago. “i’m so sorry baby. i didn’t know you felt like this. i never want you to have bad days because of me.”
“you’re not the reason for the bad days, gyu. the reason i’m feeling like this is because i feel so strongly about you, about us.” you sigh. “i understand we have our circumstances. i just want to appreciate you in public, for you to hold me in public. not just share short eye contacts when we have performances or shows to attend to.”
he looks at you for a minute and then gives you hug. “okay. okay baby. what do you want to do? i’m in for anything you want.”
“but gyu it’s what you want as well. i never want to force you to do something you’re not comfortable with-“
“no y/n, i’ve been so focused on hiding our relationship and on not getting caught that i did not realize how that must have been hurting you. i can’t help but feel like you maybe associated that with me being ashamed or me not being grateful for what we have. i truly don’t want to mess up what i share with you. my heart’s in too deep.” he lets out a small laugh. “and you want to know something else?”
you look at him in the eyes and it seems like he’s getting lost in yours. “i love you, y/n.”
you blink a couple times and you feel your stomach flutter. “y-you love me?” you gulp and he does the same, but he can’t resists smiling softly and nodding to assure you he’s being genuine.
“i love you too, beomgyu.”
he feels his body relax as he hears the words he was afraid he would never receive.
“never doubt that you bring light into my days. and i want everyone to know you’re a big part of my happiness.” he kisses your forehead, nose, cheek, and then your lips. its a small peck, but you pull him back in for a longer one.
“why do you always know what to say?” you giggle and wrap your arms around his neck.
“you make my words come out effortlessly, y/n. it’s your effect on me that i never want to lose.”
“i’m not one to make promises i can’t keep but i promise you’ll never lose me, gyu. and that’s the effect you have on me.”
he gives you another small kiss and looks up once he hears the door open. you turn around and see a confused soobin holding a couple of grocery bags. “hey... what’s going on?”
beomgyu looks at you, back at soobin, and then brings you closer to him. “this is y/n, but you already knew that. we’ve actually... been together for a couple of months now.” beomgyu puts his arm on your shoulder, knowing you’re nervous. you’ve talked about this very moment hundreds of times. “i’m sorry i did not tell you all sooner.”
“ah, beomgyu. it was kind of obvious, but we wouldve never pressured you into admitting it.” soobin chuckles and then gives you the nicest smile. “hi y/n, i’m soobin. thank you for treating our beomgyu well. i hope he is doing the same with you.” he sticks out his hand in which you shake.
you beam at beomgyu and look brightly at soobin. “he is. and thank you for being so kind. you taught him well.”
soobin’s cheeks tint to a shade of pink and you realize the introductions might not be so bad.
well, one down, 3 to go.
#choi beomgyu#beomgyu scenario#beomgyu imagine#beomgyu x y/n#beomgyu x reader#beomgyu angst#beomgyu fluff#txt scenario#txt imagine#txt x y/n#txt x reader#tomorrow x together#COMFORTING GYU 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋#nini works!
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23rd August 1305 saw the trial and execution in London of Sir William Wallace, one time Guardian of Scotland.
I posted yesterday stating the trial happened then, it came u in a source I was reading about Wallace, sometimes the historians can get it wrong, but the post yesterday served as more of prelude and a taster of todays more detailed one. Wallace is said to have accepted his execution without resistance and a brave heart. He even made a final confession to a priest and read from the book of Psalms before his punishment.
Types of execution at The Elms ranged from burning at the stake (for heretics) to the tried and tested hanged-drawn-and-quartered method for those convicted of high treason. For those unfamiliar with this method, it involves being dragged by a horse to the place of execution, hanged until almost dead, then disembowelled whilst still conscious, beheaded, and finally being chopped into four pieces (i.e. ‘quartered) and subsequently having these pieces put on display across the city, or in Sir William Wallace’s case, the country.
I think it only right to give a background post about Sir William Wallace so hang on to your hats, there’ll be no mention of French Princess’s, Blue painted Australians or the like.
Much of what we know about Wallace comes from Blind Harry, also known as Harry, Hary or Henry the Minstrel, is renowned as the author of The Actes and Deidis of the Illustre and Vallyeant Campioun Schir William Wallace, more commonly known as The Wallace. The trouble is how reliable can Blind Harry’s account be, it was written over 150 years after Wallace's grisly demise, the stories about oor erstwhile hero would have been handed down through word of mouth, possibly even in song.
Harty claims that Wallace's father was named Malcolm, and on this basis Wallace has traditionally been identified as Sir Malcolm Wallace, a minor landowner from Renfrewshire. Sir Malcolm was a descendant of Richard Wallace, a native of the lordship of Oswestry on the Welsh border, (Wallace itself meaning Welshman), who first came to Scotland in the twelfth-century in the service of Walter Fitz Alan, first High Steward of Scotland. This Stewart connection has also been used by historians to explain Wallace's place in the 'patriotic' struggle of the 1290s.
But Harry’s story has some flaws, now I’m not decrying the story, just some details like his age.
No reliable evidence exists to gives us an estimate of his age. Harry claims that Wallace was 'forty and five [years] of age' when he was executed, but also states that he was 'bot eighteen yer auld' shortly before the Battle of Stirling Bridge, which would place the year of his birth around 1278/9.
It shows how difficult it is to build a picture of Sir William.
The contemporary English chronicler William Rishanger implies that Wallace was a young man when he emerged as the leader of armed resistance to the English in southern Scotland in 1297, but this does little to narrow things down. According to Hary, Wallace was raised by his two uncles - both clerics - who saw to his education after his father was killed by an English knight named Fenwick
One of his uncles was from Dunipace, a wee town not far from my home in Falkirk, it is through this uncle we get an oft quoted phrase “This is the truth I tell you: of all things freedom’s most fine. Never submit to live, my son, in the bonds of slavery entwined.” The second pic shows part of the quote, it is on a paving stone on Falkirk High Street that I often walk past.
He does seem to have had two brothers, Malcolm - who would provide Wallace with much-needed support in the later part of his career - and John - who would later be executed for supporting Robert Bruce after 1306. His activities before 1297 are also uncertain, but they may have been less than wholesome. Contemporary English accounts describe him as a 'brigand' and a 'thief', suggesting he may have lived outside the law even before the English invaded. Of course, these may simply be attempts by hostile writers to blacken his reputation. However, a legal document of August 1296 mentions 'a thief, one William le Waleys' as an accomplice of a cleric named Matthew of York who had in June of that year been convicted of robbery at Perth. This could well be our William.
Again I am not trying to blacken his character, I am merely pointing out the difficult job that historians have when piecing together his life.
Whatever the details of his early life, following the English invasion of 1296 that Wallace first emerged into the mainstream of Scottish affairs in a big way. The death of King Alexander III in 1286, followed by the death of his granddaughter Margaret of Norway in 1290, had provoked a major succession crisis in Scotland. Efforts to settle the ongoing dispute between the competing Balliol and Bruce factions had led to increasing English interference in the governance of Scotland, culminating in a full-scale invasion of the kingdom in 1296. I’ve covered all this in posts regarding King John Balliol, the sacking of Berwick and the first Battle of Dunbar all in 1296.
One of Wallace’s first encounters with the English is told in typically dramatic form by Blind Harry, the story goes that William was fishing when he is accosted by five soldiers in the service of 'lorde Persye' Henry Percy, 1st Baron Percy who was the warden of Galloway and Ayrshire . The honest, unsuspecting Wallace offers them some of his fish so long as they leave the rest for his uncle - 'ane agyt knycht' - Wallace hopes to feed, but the soldiers demand all of his fish and attack him when he refuses them. Remarkably, Wallace disarms the first attacker using only a 'poutstaff' ('fishing pole'), seizes the discarded sword, kills two of the soldiers, severs the hand of another, and chases the survivors off!
The earliest confirmed encounter between Wallace and the English administration occurred in May 1297, when Wallace and a small band of supporters killed William Heselrig, the English sheriff of Lanark, shortly before an assize was due to be held in the town. According to the indictment against him in 1305, Wallace and his men also dismembered Helelrig's corpse. Famously, Hary claims that Wallace's attack on Heselrig was in retribution for the killing of Wallace's wife - Marion Braidfute, as Harry identifies her.
It is apparent from contemporary English accounts of the incident at Lanark that it proved to be a powerful recruiting tool for Wallace's rebellion. As Walter Guisborough put it, 'the common folk of the land followed him as their leader and ruler; the retainers of the great lords adhered to him; and even though the lords themselves were present with the English king in body, at heart they were on the opposite side'.
What I find remarkable is that the killing of the soldiers and then Heselrig kickstarted, the uprising against Edwards army and around 4 months Wallace and Andrew de Moray had assembled a combined army of over 6 thousand troops that ambushed the English as they crossed the Forth at Stirling.
Before Stirling we also had the capitulation of the Nobility at Irvine, I have also covered this in a previous post.
In the wake of the Scottish victory at Stirling Bridge, the English administration in Scotland all but collapsed. The Scots were once again able to form a government of their own, and at its head - now as Guardians of Scotland - were Wallace and Murray, although Murray's tenure was cut short when he died - probably of wounds sustained at Stirling Bridge - in November.
This was the zenith of Wallace's career. He had emerged from obscurity to the very summit of Scottish society, all in the space of a year. It also meant he had a price on his head and was the most wanted man in Scotland.
Edward I returned from the Continent in March 1298 and set his sights on Scotland, he marched with an army North in late June and quickly discovered that Wallace's response to the threat had been to devastate southern Scotland and withdraw with his army out of reach of the English. A bitter and frustrating campaign followed, with Edward almost abandoning the chase altogether. However, in late July Edward got wind that the Scots had been sighted near Falkirk, and hurriedly moved his army to meet them.
Precisely why the confrontation at Falkirk happened is, as with so much of Wallace's career, uncertain. Until this point in the campaign Wallace had carefully avoided the English army, a prudent strategy that would later pay off for the Scots under Bruce. Guisborough claims that Wallace had learned that Edward planned to withdraw and hoped to attack the English in the rear. This would at least explain why Wallace so suddenly abandoned his previously cautious strategy. However, given the potential challenges he was facing from the nobility of Scotland it may equally have been the case that Wallace felt compelled to face the English in open battle sooner or later and prove that his success at Stirling Bridge - which was after all arguably at least as much Murray's as it was Wallace's - was not just a lucky accident.
Whatever the case, the battle that followed was an utter catastrophe for the guardian. Abandoned by the cavalry, who may have lost their nerve as they had at Irvine or - as claimed by subsequent Scottish chroniclers - betrayed Wallace, Wallace's schiltrons - tightly-packed bodies of infantry armed with long spearmen - repelled the English cavalry but fell prey to English archery, which broke up their formations and left them vulnerable to a renewed assault by the cavalry. Wallace escaped the battle with his life, but his position as guardian had been irrevocably damaged. It is not entirely clear precisely when or where he resigned the guardianship, but by the end of 1298 Robert Bruce, earl of Carrick (the future king), and John Comyn, lord of Badenoch, were jointly exercising the office of guardian.
Wallace's time as guardian may have been decisively ended, but he remained an active opponent of the English in Scotland. The resistance he offered to the English in this period was not always in keeping with the wishes of the guardians. For instance, in August 1299 an altercation took place at a council at Peebles at which Wallace's plan to travel to France was condemned by Sir David Graham as being 'without the leave or approval of the Guardians'. Wallace's plans were defended by his brother Malcolm, who argued that they were at least 'for the good of the kingdom'
Wallace did indeed leave for France in 1299, apparently on a diplomatic mission to seek the support of King Philip IV against Edward I. Wallace's reception in France was initially hostile, since at the time Philip was himself seeking peaceful relations with Edward I, and Wallace was briefly incarcerated by the French king. However, in November 1300 Philip was writing to his envoys to the pope asking them to promote Wallace's case at the papal court. It is possible that Wallace himself visited to Rome assist in making the Scottish case to the pope in person, and the fact that when he was eventually he reportedly had on his person a safe-conduct from King Hakon V of Norway may suggest he also travelled to Norway on diplomatic business (although he may simply have planned to do so at some point). By 1303 - possibly earlier - he was back in Scotland and again involved in armed resistance to the English
By this point the tide in the war was slowly turning against the Scots. The French were once again pursuing a peaceful policy towards the English following their own military reversal at Courtrai in 1302. Scottish nobles were gradually making their peace with the English, and the surrender of Stirling Castle marked the effective end to organised Scottish resistance on a large scale. In light of his increasing success, Edward I was generally willing to be fairly accommodating towards those Scots who were willing to submit to him, but this was not so with Wallace. Indeed, in the general amnesty offered to the Scots by the English, Wallace might at best 'render himself up to the will and mercy of our sovereign lord the king, if it shall seem good to him' - hardly an encouraging prospect. When Wallace's long-standing cohort Simon Fraser submitted to Edward in July 1304, he was welcomed into the king's peace only on the understanding that he would assist in the ever-intensifying hunt for the fugitive Wallace. Nevertheless, Wallace remained at large until 3rd August 1305, when he was seized near Glasgow by men in the service of Sir John Menteith, keeper of Dumbarton Castle on behalf of King Edward. Menteith - identified as Wallace's 'gossop' ('godfather') by Harry.
Having finally captured Wallace, Edward I refused even to see him. Instead, Wallace was taken to London for what for want of a better word might be called a trial.
Sir Peter Malory, one of the king's justices, presided over the proceedings, which were little more than a formality. The charges were considerable. Wallace had, according his accusers, been a traitor to King Edward, perpetrated armed resistance against him and slain the king's officers (William Heselrig was mentioned by name), assumed the authority of 'a superior' of Scotland, submitted 'to the fealty and lordship of the lord king of France and [gave] him help to the destruction of the kingdom of England', made war on the northern counties of England, 'feloniously and seditiously assaulted, burned and devastated religious men and nuns...[and] inflicted [upon] all, old and young, wives and widows, children and babes the worst death which he could devise', and 'harmoniously and eagerly...refused to submit himself to the lord king's peace' even after being defeated at Falkirk. According to the Annals of London, he 'answered that he had never been a traitor to the king of England, but granted the other crimes charged against him'.
In the eyes of the English as an outlaw, Wallace had no recourse to a defence. Instead, he was summarily sentenced to be executed in the manner reserved for traitors. Wallace was thus 'dispolyeid of his weid' as Hary puts it and dragged naked on a hurdle through the streets of London. At Smithfield he was hanged by the neck 'for the robberies, homicides and felonies which he carried out in the kingdom of England and the land of Scotland'
Before he could suffocate he was taken down and emasculated and disembowelled 'for the dreadful wickedness which he did to the church'. His 'heart, liver and lungs and all the bowels...from which such perverse thoughts proceeded' were then burned. Presumably now dead, Wallace was beheaded - the punishment for outlawry - and his body was divided into four parts. His head was to be displayed on London Bridge (where it remained until at least September the following year, when it was joined by that of his former comrade Simon Fraser). The remaining quarters were to be displayed on gibbets at Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Berwick-upon-Tweed, Stirling and Perth, 'to put dread in and to warn all by-passers and observers'.
The savagery with which Wallace was dispatched contrasts sharply with Edward I's attitude toward the Scots in general, but let’s not forget it was the usual punishment for any person deemed to be a traitor.
However it appeared that Longshanks earlier experiences with the Scots had convinced the ageing English king that a more conciliatory approach to establishing a lasting English administration in the kingdom. Edward's new plan for the settlement of Scotland envisaged a ruling council composed primarily of Scots - including the likes of Bruce and Comyn - which would advise an English lieutenant who would retain overall authority. Scots law and custom was to be respected, at least in the short term, and it may have seemed to many at the time that the objections that had fuelled Wallace's original rebellion in 1297 had been addressed.
As we know, the matter would be rendered moot less than six months after Wallace's death when Robert Bruce killed Comyn, forcing him to make public his ambition to become King of Scots. In many senses Bruce's struggle was quite unlike Wallace's, being primarily motivated by his own ambitions and perception of his rights. That being said, if Wallace had not maintained the momentum behind Scottish resistance to the English, particularly in the crucial year of 1297, then Bruce may never have had his opportunity to make his successful bid for power.
Pics are statues of Sir William Wallace around Scotland in order, Bemersyde near Dryburgh, Aberdeen, opposite His Majesty's Theatre, Edinburgh Castle, Newmarket Street Ayr, St Nicholas Church, Lanark, Stirling Town Centre, The National Wallace Monument Abbey Craig, Stirling, showing it before and after it’s recent restoration, Scottish National Portrait Gallery, Edinburgh and his memorial at Smithfield, London. There are others around the world that remember the Scots Patriot who so bravely stood up to fight for his country.
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Please Fix the Story pt 23 - Sci Fi
Here is the next part! There is at least one more part in this world. Getting really close to the end!
Masterpost Linked Here
Enjoy!
_______________________
Life moved on, and despite the growing anxiety I had after my encounter with Chris, things moved smoothly. Chris had disappeared after that night, leaving his resignation from the academy laying on his desk. Liam was busy with wedding plans, occasionally checking in to make sure I was happy with his choices.
He was honestly much more thoughtful about it than I would have been, and I was happy to have his help. My father arranged his leave and was on his way. We also heard from Liam’s parents that they were going to arrive soon as well.
When Liam received the news, he became perfectly still for a few moments. I watched him, concerned at the obvious change.
“Liam, are you okay?”
“I – I don’t know.” His eyes were unfocused, as if staring off into space. “Why… are they coming?”
“Because they’re your parents? I doubt they would miss the wedding of a royal family member, no matter how bad your relationship is.”
“Parents… it’s… all wrong.” Liam seemed to be struggling against some invisible bind. His dark blue eyes flickered, and seemed to almost glow in the shadow of the resting area we sat it.
WARNING. World destabilization detected. Attempting forced conformity… Failure… host and partner soul strength too high.
Unable to see the bright blue words hanging in the air, Liam continued speaking.
“This… isn’t right. I don’t have family." His face was becoming more certain. “It’s not my fate. All I have is…” He glanced at me, his eyes filled with pain. “Bel..?”
WARNING! Stabilize world story immediately or face destruction and mission failure.
I reached out quickly, holding Liam’s hands in my own. “Liam, take a deep breath. Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” He answered without hesitation.
“I know it seems wrong, but for now I need you to go with the idea of having parents and family.”
“But…?”
“Trust me. “
“Okay.” He leaned back, sighing. The glowing dark blue of his eyes faded, and he closed them for a brief moment, before seemingly returning back to normal. “I trust you.”
We don’t belong here.
The uncertainty in this world grew each day. Liam, whoever Chris had become… me… we weren’t from this world. But if we deviated to much, the world could destabilize, and I could fail the mission.
I just needed to keep my head down, blend in and complete the mission.
Try not to rebel too much against the role I’d been given in this world, except the ending.
Simple, right?
_______________________
…
“We’ve talked the last few hours about our lists, now it’s your turn! What do you miss most about Chris, Alaira?”
Maybe world destabilization, mission failure and soul destruction aren’t that bad after all.
I stared at the group of young women in front me, wondering for the hundredth time in the past hour how I had been roped into this... harem support group?
Allie, Ilene and Wen stared back at me, waiting for me to answer.
“I… miss kicking his butt in mock Mech battles?” I winced as I spoke, realizing they would probably take offense at that, but to my surprise they all smiled and nodded.
“Yeah, you were a very important rival to Chris.” Ilene patted me on the back.
Allie spoke up, “He was always talking about how he wanted to beat you and have you accept him as a fellow Guardian. “
“Yeah… he… I…” Wen started to chime in, but then her face crumpled as she sobbed into her hands. “What are we supposed to do now that he’s gone?! What am I supposed to do without him?! What if he never comes back?!”
“I miss him!”
“Me too!”
Soon all three girls were crying, leaving me in uncomfortable silence in the corner.
Blend in, don’t make waves, don’t try to change things….
“I can’t live without him!” Ilene’s dramatic cry broke something within me.
SCREW THIS!
“OKAY GUYS, SHUT UP!” I stood up, placing my hands on my hips as I stared at them. “You are a group of highly intelligent, talented women in the most competitive military academy in the known universe! And you’re nothing without some guy?”
“He’s not just some….” Wen started to interrupt, but was shushed by me.
“No. No matter how much you care for him. He is a guy, and you are all your own person. You have talents, dreams and stories beyond his existence.” I turned to petite girl beside me first. “You! Wen, you’re one of the top engineering students in the program! With your skills, it would be a cinch to improve upon the current Mech design!” After all, she had ramped up Chris’s Mech in the story, surely she could do the same without him!
“And you!” I pointed at Allie. “You’re a Guardian! You're a level B one at that! That's an even higher level than Chris!”
“But I don’t have his drive…”
“You can have his drive! You can have more than his drive! He spent half his time complaining about how people didn’t take him seriously or how people were trying to force him to be a Connector. You can be TEN TIMES the Guardian Chris was!”
I ignored her startled sputterings and turned towards the dark haired girl on the other side. “And you… Ilene.”
She stared at me warily. “What about me?”
“You’re a freaking Princess! And a super talented Connector! How can that become nothing if Chris isn’t around?”
“…I thought you didn’t like me?”
“I don’t.” I answered bluntly. “You treat your brother like trash, and that’s enough for me to want to kick your teeth in.” I sighed, leaning back in my chair. “That being said, just because I hate you doesn’t mean I don’t respect you as a talented Connector. You just have a crappy personality.”
“Um… Thanks?”
“Don’t mention it.” I opened my arms. “You three have top-notch talent all gathered here in one room. What do you need Chris for?! You could be a force to be reckoned with!”
Wen jumped to her feet. “You’re right! I should design a Mech, one stronger than anyone’s ever seen.!”
“Yes!” I pumped a hand in the air.
“And I’ll fly it! I’ll terrorize the Hive until they go running back to their home planet!” Allie stood up as well.
“You’ve got it!”
Ilene joined in. “If I remember, Allie, you and I have a decent resonance match. How about we partner up?”
“Let’s do it!”
The girls high-fived each other while I watched approvingly.
“Let’s destroy the hIve!
“We’ll save humanity!”
‘...And then we’ll find Chris!”
I groaned.
They were so close… but I guess this is better than nothing.
The girls plotted the formation of a new team, surprisingly accepting the team name “Harem” (my suggestion). As they filed out, chattering excitedly, I prepared to escape this mentally exhausting group.
“Alaira, wait.” Princess Ilene stopped me before I could walk out the door.
“What is it?” I kept a neutral expression. I hadn’t been joking when I said I didn’t like her.
She hesitated. “Are you really marrying my brother?”
“Yes. Do you have a problem with that?”
“…No… it’s just…” She rubbed her face. “He’s… different. And I feel like you should know. “
Sitting back down, I crossed my legs and prepared to listen.
“Since he met you… William is a different person. He’s kinder… gentler… even goes by a different name. He’s never gone by Liam.”
That caught my attention “What was he like before?”
“Angry. Vicious. Hurt people just to watch them suffer.” Her face was blank, as if remembering things she didn’t want to. “He was so mad at the world for not allowing him to match, he spent all his time plotting to take down talented people who could.”
A villain. Was that who he was before Liam stepped in? Like how Alaira was before I took over? Or Chris before… whoever it was… took his body?
“I’m not pretending that I’m perfect, either. You’re right, I treated my brother like garbage, instead of trying to help him. I thought he was a monster. Honestly, I thought his hanging around you was some new scheme…. I was kind of hoping he would take you out so your couldn’t bother Chris…”
“So nice of you.” My tone was sarcastic
“At least I’m honest. Anyways, this doesn’t appear to be some trick… I think he’s changed… he actually seems to care about you. But I thought you should know who he was before he met you.”
“Thanks.” My tone was slightly better than before. “Don’t worry, I know exactly who I’m marrying.”
Liam. Not your villain brother.
“Good Luck.” Ilene seemed relieved, as if a burden was off of her shoulders with the confession, and hurried out.
I stood in the room alone silently for a few moments, processing.
There’s too many questions, and no answers in sight.
I left to find Liam. I missed him.
_______________________
I arrived just in time to see Liam and Alaira’s father facing off.
“She is my precious daughter.” The tall middle aged man with close cropped hair and a scowl made scarier by the scar running from his left eye to the corner of his mouth, towered over Liam. His disapproving air was evident.
“Yes.” Liam smiled and nodded, seemingly fearless.
“No man deserves to marry her.”
“Agreed.”
“So who do you think you are?” General Gladus poked Liam’s chest with a finger.
“The luckiest man alive to be able to stand in the same room as Alaira, much less stay by her side all my life.” He held out a plate in front of the angry man. “Cookies?”
“Well, you should know I don’t approve of this fast courtship…” He picked up one of the cookies and bit into it angrily. “You both are so young…” He took another bite. “And I don’t want you to hold her back…”
“I completely agree. I will do my best to support all her goals in life.” Liam handed the general another cookie as he finished the first.
“Good…” He chewed slower. “Is this chocolate? How did you get it so soft but chewy at the same time?”
“I developed the recipe. Would you like more?”
He picked up another one. “Just know this doesn’t mean I fully approve of you.”
“Of course not… Would you like some cake…”
“….”
“I also have homemade hot chocolate.”
“… As long as she likes you, I guess.” He finally muttered, his hands full of baked treats and dessert drinks.
Liam overwhelmed him with support spouse abilities. I laughed in the doorway, attracting the attention of both men.
“Anything for me?”
Liam nodded with a bright smile. “I saved you a plate.”
General Gladus cleared his throat as he saw the large platter filled with cookies.
“Don’t worry, Sir, I saved an extra plate for you.”
“… Don’t think you can bribe me.”
I raised an eyebrow. “So I can have your plate, then?”
“The hardened general clutched the plate of cookies to his chest. “Don’t you dare! The boy made them for me out of respect for his future father-in-law!”
“…” Liam and I smiled at each other.
“How is the front line… Dad?” The title felt a little rough as I spoke it. I was still acutely aware that he was Alaira’s father, not mine.
“Stable, for now.” He frowned. “Fortunately we have an elaborate defense system, to give plenty of warning. But they’ve been retreating more and more lately. The higher ups seem to think that they might be admitting defeat, but I just don’t think so. I think they’re preparing for something… big.”
He’s right.
I knew the ending of the original story. Around the time Alaira was supposed to graduate, they had attacked in the largest numbers ever seen, necessitating all senior students being recruited to help fight. Even Alaira, who was without a Connector and would have normally been left behind was brought in. They couldn’t afford to leave any powerful guardian out.
I still have a little more time, though. I can train with Liam, maybe get Wen to help upgrade our Mechs, train up some of the students… We can have a chance to really face off against the attack.
There’s still time…
“Don’t let down your guard. You’re the best general we’ve got.” I patted Alaira’s father on the shoulder.
He crushed me in a big hug. “Don’t worry, your dad will protect the galaxy! You just get married in peace.” He leaned in and whispered. “See if he can make a few more of those chocolate cookies, okay?”
“I will, Dad.” It came much more naturally this time.
I’ll protect you too. I added silently.
_______________________
As the wedding drew closer, we were notified that the king and queen were on their way. Liam ignored the news, continuing to work on seating charts and music for the ceremony.
“We have to welcome them when they arrive. They are due any minute.” I finally spoke up, slightly exasperated with his head-in-the-sand act.
“…If we have to.” His voice was cold, his dark blue eyes flickering between fear and annoyance.
I held his hand. “Don’t worry. No matter who they think you are, or what they say about you, just know that you’re my future husband. Don’t worry about anything else.”
He reached out, pulling me tightly against him. “ Thank you.”
“Just play along with them. I held his face between my hands. “You’re Liam. Not Prince William. Not their son. Not Ilene’s brother. Liam.”
WARNING. DIRECTLY CONTRADICTING STORYLINES IS FORBIDDEN.
Liam tilted his head and studied me with a worried expression. “… Are you okay?”
“Just follow my lead. Please.” I looked away from the bright blue words in annoyance and moved.
We went to meet the Royal Family, each of us nervous for different reasons.
The King and Queen looked slightly like Liam and Ilene. The king had curly dark hair, severe features, made worse by the frown as he studied Liam. The Queen had the dark blue eyes that both siblings had, and a beautiful, delicate face… but the overall sense was ruined by the terrified light in her eyes as she almost hid behind her husband.
“So this is the girl you tricked into marrying you?” The king looked at me with morbid curiosity.
Liam took a deep breath. “This is Alaira, Grade S Guardian, my resonance partner and my future wife…”
“What game are you playing, William?” His father snapped, interrupting him. “If this is some ploy to ruin General Gladus, you should stop now.”
“This isn’t…”
“You should stop this now.” The Queen squeaked out nervously at me from behind the King. “He might be my son, but you can’t trust him…”
“…”
“This wedding is a farce.” The king snapped finally. “He’s a monster.”
_______________________
“Why did you follow me?” the mournful voice called out as I entered the dark room.
“Do you want me to leave?” I looked up at the large dark blue eyes curiously, barely able to make out the large form in the darkness.
“I didn’t want you to see… didn’t want you to know…”
“Know what?”
“That I’m a monster.” The whisper was filled with so much pain it made me cry.
_______________________
BAM!
Before I fully came out of the memory, I had punched the King.
“…”
There was a moment of stunned silence from everyone present.
“You dare…!” The King finally spoke up, rubbing his red cheek with a furious expression. “I can have you executed!”
“Just try, Barry.” General Gladus walked in, his hand holding a drawn weapon. “I’ll shoot you in your precious Royal Ass, and then what are you going to lounge on while I fight your wars for you?”
"..."
"..."
"..."
The room processed his words in silence for a moment, before the king burst out angrily.
“Gladus, are you threatening me?!!”
“Oh shut up Barry. " He waved dismissively with his gun. "It wouldn’t even be the first time I’ve shot you. Probably won't be the last." You won’t arrest me, you need me to protect your country.”
“You are willing to let your precious daughter marry this… this… “ The king trailed off, glaring at Liam, who stared calmly back.
“Yes.” General Gladus shrugged “I heard the rumors. Even with the 100% match I wasn’t about to let him hurt my daughter.”
“Then why…?”
“I’ve sat down with your son, Barry. I shook his hand, looked him in the eye. I asked him the hard questions. I’ve observed him around Alaira.” The General stepped forward, placing a heavy hand on his shoulder. “I know a good man when I see one. And I see one. One who loves my daughter. Maybe you should try looking closer.”
“But he…”
“Plus he makes delicious cookies.” He muttered.
“…He what?”
I stepped forward, blocking Liam behind me. “He’s not a monster. He’s my future husband. I honestly do not care about your opinion. But if you want to try to hurt him, just know… you won’t have to wait for my father to shoot you. I’ll do it first.”
“… Control your child, Gladus.”
“She even threatens you just like me!” He reached out and placed an arm around my shoulders. “So proud.”
“…Fine. “ The King frowned “I won’t try to save you from yourself. Marry him, if you want.”
“I plan to.”
“Whatever you’re plotting, William, you better stop now.” He glared. “You might have fooled them, but you won’t fool me.”
“I don’t have to fool you.” Liam’s eyes were dark. “You mean nothing to me.”
“I’m your father.”
“I have no family. I… I can never have family.” Liam turned away.
“William…” The Queen called out softly.
“I AM NOT William.”
WARNING. World Destabilization detected!
“Come on, Liam. Let’s go.” I grabbed his hand and walked away, calling over my shoulder as we left. “You’re free to attend the wedding, but stay away from us otherwise.”
“You’ll regret this!”
I laughed at his bitter words. “Enjoy the disappointment.”
Liam and I left.
_______________________
We sat in my room, and as soon as my hand left his, he curled up, holding his arms over his head.
“I don’t feel right.”
“Liam.” I reached out and touched his back, feeling him trembling beneath me.
“Who am I? I don’t think I’m William. The things they said… the things William has done… He’s not me.”
Warning!
"He's not me... he can't be... He's not..."
WARNING! World destabilization... Bright blue words and a mechanical voice appeared again.
“SHUT UP!” I yelled, drowning out the voice. I pulled his arms down, looking straight into his dark blue eyes. “You are Liam. And you’re my partner. And tomorrow you’ll be my husband. Nothing else matters..”
“But…”
“I can’t explain things right now. I don’t even know everything right now. But I know there’s a reason we’re here together. I’ve found you, and I won’t leave you.”
He held me close, both of us kneeling on the floor. He was clutching me as if I was the only thing anchoring him. I felt lost myself. I was frustrated at my lack of answers, angry at the pain Liam was experiencing, afraid for the future ahead of us.
“Alaira… no… Bel?” He whispered. “... I love you.”
I smiled at the unfamiliar but familiar name, pressing my face against his shoulder. “I love you too, Liam.”
“Marry me tomorrow.”
“Definitely.”
“Don’t leave me behind… please.”
“I won't... No matter what.”
A long silence fell between us. Finally Liam sat back, his face slightly red. “I wish we were getting married tonight. I can’t help but feel something terrible is going to happen to prevent our wedding.”
Foreshadowing.
Ignoring the ominous word that appeared in my subconscious, I smiled reassuringly. “Nothing is going to happen…”
“ALERT! CODE LEVEL RED. PLEASE REPORT TO EMERGENCY STATIONS. ALERT!”
I sighed. “I take that back.”
We headed to the Command Level in the main Academy.
_______________________
“Dad, what’s going on?” I called out as we passed the main doors.
“Alaira…” General Gladus’ face was uncharacteristically serious. “It’s not good.”
I stood beside him, looking up at the large holographic display at the center of the command room, feeling the blood drain from my face. “The Hive.”
“They’re past our defense systems.” He slammed his fist against the table. “This doesn’t make any sense! How did an army this huge get past us without starting any alarms!”
I stared at the countless red dots on the screen, feeling lost.
This isn’t right. In the story I should have had YEARS before the Hive attacked in such large numbers. Even then they were caught immediately in the defense systems and gave the military time to prepare. How could they get past us… unless…
“Chris.”
He said he was going to end everything. Is this what he meant?
Alaira’s father was confused. “That male student who disappeared? How would he have access to defense system information?”
Chris wouldn’t… but whoever was controlling Chris might have more information.
I let it go for now. “What do we do?”
“There’s too many… and they’re headed for a defenseless planet in this system.” He hung his head. “I don’t have the manpower to defend it.”
I stepped forward, giving him a grim smile. “You’re not alone, Dad. I’ll help.”
“We! We’ll help.” Liam stood beside me. “We’re a powerful combo. You can’t afford to turn us down.”
General Gladus sighed. “Even if I recruit top senior students from the academy… the numbers we have… it’s a suicide mission.”
Warning! Mission Failure Imminent!
Your mission: Prevent destruction of the human race by the alien monster race known as The Hive.
The Hive are now attacking in large numbers. Your estimated chance of success against them in battle is 0%.
“If you’re not gonna say anything helpful, then shut up.” I growled quietly.
Liam turned towards me. “Are you okay?”
If you fail your mission, you will face soul destruction.
“It’s not like I’m swimming in options.”
You have one option.
“Who are you talking to?”
“What is it?” I whispered, holding Liam’s hand and squeezing it. I have to save him.
...
ACCEPT YOUR FATE.
...
I stared at the blue words silently for a few minutes. “Liam, what if I said we have an 100% chance of dying if we went on this mission…”
“You don’t know that…”
“...and I had a fool proof way to protect you… But we would be separated forever?”
I didn’t know what my fate was. But I did know in the deepest part of my soul one thing:
Liam was not my fate.
“I don’t plan to survive this, Liam… but if I could save you…”
“I would rather die by your side.” He didn’t hesitate.
“But…”
He grabbed my other hand, holding them both tightly. “We’ll face this together.”
_______________________
“It’s hopeless.” I whispered, holding him tightly. “What if fate is stronger than us?”
“I don’t need hope, Bel.” He leaned closer, his breath warm against my neck. “If fate is going to separate us, then we’ll destroy it.”
“Together.”
“Always.”
_______________________
I looked at the hologram, at the countless numbers of enemies that awaited us, and leaned against him with a sigh.
“Together.”
He smiled in return.
“Always.”
#writing#please fix the story#fantasy#world hopping#amnesia#the world is breaking#Getting close to the end.
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Hello! {2-02-22}
Introduction 🍓
Hello everyone. For those of you who don’t know me already, I am Saey ♡ and I write bulky headcanon-formatted "character x reader" tales/shorts. I was previously known in the Arcana fandom on this platform, but later became a well-renowned League of Legends and Arcane fandom "x reader" author instead! I have been a huge fan of League of Legends since 2014 and have been creating actual content for LoL (cough, Kayn content, cough...) since I was in high school.
I want to give you all a little insight into why I began writing trigger-heavy content, especially because I know a lot of my pieces can be considered questionable or morally wrong.
In high school, I developed very bad agoraphobia after a series of traumatic events. I had really bad paranoia and a myriad of other mental health issues, as a result, and was kept in isolation rooms during school for multiple years because of it. I have been to over 5 therapists, but none could help me.
Writing in my downtime became my way of coping with my trauma. It made me feel less alone. Tapping into uncomfortable subjects became more painless to write than love and romance (but now I can do both!! That's growth right there!) and I discovered if I don't confront my trauma and issues, I constantly think about them.
I have always been really shy when it comes to sharing my writing, but I wanted a space to put all of my work and share these pieces with others. I hope I am able to create a space where you feel like you can relax and not focus on your own traumas- Or even where you can come to confront them with me.
See you,
Saey ♡
About This Blog
What do I blog about on well… this blog?
If it wasn't obvious already, I write League of Legends x reader and Arcane x reader headcanons of all genres and themes exclusively! I will also (potentially) post some art from time to time of LoL and Arcane. Finally, I will potentially post some old LoL!Character x OC things I have done in the past if I am unable to write anything bigger at certain intervals.
When will I be taking requests?
I usually will let you all know in a blog post, but I tend to not really take anything while I am in a semester! ❤️
Are there limitations to requests?
I tend to not have any limitations when it comes to what my readers can or cannot request. If you have seen my past works, you probably know I am a dark / 18+ / angst writer first and foremost. But, I will not write any mature headcanons for canonically underage League of Legends champions. There will be no exceptions to this.
Whats is my reader gender focus?
I try really hard to make the majority of my works gender-neutral so my headcanons are available to a wide audience of people. I do not often write male!readers. I do write a good portion of female!readers, however. It just depends on the vibe I try to go for in a headcanon and for comfort's sake.
What characters will I write about?
To be honest, I tend to really lean towards writing about my favorite edgelords •᷄ࡇ•᷅ However, this doesn't hinder me from writing about really cute girls! Below the next picture, you will find a compiled list with some of my favorite champions to write about ♡
A mini list of champions I love writing about! (Check my pinned post for an extended version of this list <;3)
Aatrox, Akali, Aphelios, Caitlyn, Ezreal, Gwen, Jhin, Jinx, Kai’sa, Kayn, Lux, Seraphine, Shen, Thresh, Viego, Viktor, Xin Zhao, Yasuo, Zed, Zeri, Zoe
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All fans are equal but some are more equal than others. NOT.
There’s been quite a few people in the fandom lately getting very stressed, feeling they’re obligated to constantly be on the defensive re: their fandom choices.
Apparently, whoever has a different opinion about a character or a ship must be said character’s/ship’s stan i.e. overzealous and/or obsessive, i.e. not an objective viewer. Even worse, they must be a dreadful person, who condones a number of moral offences that said character/ship perpetrated (or is thought to have perpetrated). Because, of course, the only acceptable reason for appreciating/enjoying a fictional character or dynamic is their morality. And, by that reasoning, fans who support the correct character/ship must be better fans and better people.
Nothing is more ridiculous than the notion of the objective fan. An “objective” fan is called a “viewer”. You and I, Riverdale friends, we are not just viewers. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have created blogs and dedicated hours of our lives to a fictional couple from an extremely mediocre show. We are still undoubtedly capable of critical thought and objective analysis but we are also aware of our own emotional investment in the show. (Or, at least, one hopes). As a fandom, we engage in activities that exist independently of the show. Fandom is a space of free expression. No one gets to play the higher moral card here. Needing to loudly tell everybody how wrong they are? That’s not the sign of an objective viewer. That’s the sign of a viewer who is also extremely invested, just for different reasons than I am.
Are we seriously holding the morality card over people’s heads for a show that used a poc woman’s pregnancy (Toni) as the means to retroactively establish trauma for a white male (Kevin), all the while touting it in every media possible as a woke response to the BLM movement?!
Are we seriously holding the canon card over people’s heads for a show that treats its 5th(!) season as a tabula rasa?! If the Lodges new backstory in 5x12 shows anything, it’s that s5 is not a time-jump. It’s a reboot.
There are so many people “enlightening” others on their inability to understand canon …
Seriously? That’s the hill you’re willing to die on? Canon Riverdale? You think that people don’t understand what they’re watching? That they’re interpreting canon incorrectly?
No, but seriously: canon for a TV show consists of what the characters say, what the characters do and how the actors portray them. Does this really apply to Riverdale?
Let’s take Donna for example.
Canon explicitly tells us Donna did what she did to avenge her grandmother. At the same time none of her canon actions were against the people who were actually responsible. So, riddle me this, fandom friends: why did Donna do what she did, as per canon?
Let’s try this another way:
Donna is a psycho bitch. Both in terms of Riverdale’s canon (the writers’ intention) and real-life criteria. To create a tag that reads “Bonna for ever uwu!” is deranged.
On the other hand, her character is (like a lot of Riverdale’s characters) an inconsistent caricature. Canon uses ridiculous dialogue and a lot of the Bonna scenes are cartoonishly enemies-to-lovers tropey. To create a tag that reads “Bonna for ever uwu!” is hilarious.
This doesn’t mean that Bonna is a canon couple. It does mean, however, that a Bonna crackship is based on Riverdale’s campy and over-the-top canonic writing.
A viewer who thinks Bonna is disgusting is not more “objective” or more “correct” or more “true to canon” than a viewer who thinks Bonna is funny. Nor are they a better person for it, and this cannot be stressed enough.
Similarly, who is canon Cheryl?
1. Cheryl is an absolute bitch: if a privileged student was calling an actual homeless boy a hobo in your real-life school, you would neither think her a queen nor use “hobo” affectionately in your tags, comments etc.
2. Cheryl is a deeply traumatized person: her father killed her brother, her mother killed half the town and forced her in conversion therapy, she attempted suicide and more.
(Note #1: this more does not mean more than the other Riverdale characters).
(Note #2: nor is it an excuse for her rudeness, affectionately called “mood for chaos” by the writers).
3. Cheryl is also a caricature of the archetypal mean girl who’s there for laughs and meta comments. She’s not to be taken seriously.
4. Cheryl is lgbtq+ representation …
5. … who canonically shits on other lgbtq+ characters.
6. Cheryl is one half of Choni, who are canonically presented as an uber couple.
7. Choni is also, as per canon, a couple with an acute power imbalance (cough!gaslighting!cough) that visually very clearly panders to the male gaze.
But most importantly:
8. Cheryl canonically is not the sum of her parts. The different facets of her character do not intermingle in any meaningful way.
Was Betty kissing Archie specifically a sore spot for Jughead?
Canonically no [2x14]. But, also, canonically yes [5x03, 5x10].
Are there seriously fans that are astonished that Betty is making some highly questionable choices while investigating?! Did they just discover Dark™Betty/Killer Genes Betty? That is canon Betty! Was it ok before because she was then smooching Jughead instead of giving him the cold shoulder? Honestly, the only newly outrageous part of s5Dark™Betty is the fact that she still believes in “killer genes” despite having spent 4 years at Yale …
As for liking/disliking Betty and morality …
Look, I’m going to be very honest: I am NOT particularly enjoying s5 Betty. And it’s not because of b*rchie.
S5 Betty has 99 problems but the sexcapades ain’t one.
For me, it’s the fact that she’s turned into s1 Alice 2.0. But surely that’s not news either? Ever since the first info about the time jump, everyone and their mother have been speculating about the teens becoming their parents …
Just because Jughead is better written (and written to be more likable), it doesn’t make him more worthy of redemption. Just because the writers are keeping Betty’s redemption “secret” (insert eye roll) for their big reveal in the season’s penultimate episode, it doesn’t mean she won’t have one.
Simply put, the writers have made Jughead more likable. He’s still the underdog. He’s the only character in Riverdale actively trying to deal with his trauma, since the very first post-time jump episode (working at Pop’s explicitly to fend off the debt collectors). He has scenes with a new and extremely likable character (Tabitha). He has the only new plot line (the Mothman). Said plotline is narratively already tied to both his unknown past and the town’s destruction by Hiram. His behaviour is explicitly explained, even as his recent trauma remains unknown. He’s transparent.
In comparison, s5 Betty is traumatized but not the underdog. Her trauma (TBK killer) is both known to us and a repetition of previous storylines, which makes it narratively less exciting. She is completely disconnected from any other storylines. She comes out as being judgmental and self-interested: telling Tabitha Jughead’s not her business while previously accepting his help? Berating Polly for lying while not keeping in touch and lying about her own life (TBK)? Please note: I’m not saying there isn’t a reason behind her behaviour, just that it comes out in a negative way.
You don’t like Betty’s current behaviour? You don’t consider trauma a good enough excuse? Cool.
You feel sorry for what she’s going through? You consider trauma to be a valid explanation for her behaviour? Also cool.
Personally, I don’t give a flying fig, either for Betty’s trauma or Jughead’s. Because, even though Trauma™ is s5’s actual mystery plot, narratively speaking, trauma never affected the plot of the past 4 seasons, nor s5 trauma will affect future plots, once revealed. And you know what? That is also cool.
None of the above is better.
And just because I’m not enjoying Betty right now, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want her to overcome her current situation or that I won’t cheer for Bughead like a River Vixen on fizzle rocks, once they reunite.
This thing though, where people are made to feel as if they owed anyone in the fandom an explanation about why they like the things they like, because, somehow, their preferences are a reflection on their character or their cognitive abilities to read a TV show? This is a joke.
There is no “wrong” way to consume any show, let alone Riverdale, with its fractured format, its short-term memory and its see-sawing characters.
Look, everybody’s here for their own reasons. For most people this is a place of escape. No one’s escaping better than the other, because of how they enjoy their teen TV show ...
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He wouldn't have a point, though. Stede has always wanted all of Ed. Ed is the one who didn't want all of Stede.
He doesn't want Stede's trauma (cuts him off when he goes to bring it up, twice). He falls in love with who he thinks Stede is, but never gives him space to be less than this idealized version in Ed's head.
AND ED WAS IN THE WRONG WITH CALICO JACK. He NEVER ONCE took JACK aside and said, "Hey, I think you should be nicer to Stede--and it is STEDE by the way." Stede was RIGHT to say he didn't like who Ed was around Calico Jack because Ed was AWFUL around him. He let Jack mock his friends, he let Jack hurt his friends for fun, he let Jack misname and misgender Stede and never once seriously reprimanded JACK for any of it. In fact, the only time he tries to curb Jack's behavior is when he's worried that Jack is going to make Stede mad at him.
And everybody just excuses the behavior! No one fucking talks about it except to say, "Well it doesn't really bother Stede he's used to it" but it DOES bother him. You can see it on his face.
I know Taika's the hot one so the fandom automatically sides with him, but this is pathetic. It's ridiculous. God, I am so fucking sick of this fucking fandom painting Stede as this awful fucking person who deliberately hurt Ed.
(for context, this ask is in response to my poem-type thing)
So, first of all, 100% agree that Ed was a total dick to Stede and the crew when it came to Calico Jack. And I reblogged meta yesterday, I think, that talks about how Stede is impacted by things like Jack's comments. Ed has soooo much room for growth with unlearning the abusive pirate culture he's lived in for decades, with learning to be more compassionate/understanding, and with standing up for what he wants and the people he cares about. That's why the culture Stede has cultivated on the Revenge could be so healing to him if he engaged with it more, and we saw him starting to try in the finale.
Second, bold of you to assume I don't find Stede equally hot. That loose romantic curl, his unhinged expressions while watching the aristocrats fight, any time he's confident, serious, or menacing?? 👀👀👀 I am looking respectfully
Third, we must be seeing different meta because most of what I see is very thoughtful analysis on why Stede left because obviously he wasn't thinking "actually fuck that guy I'm going home" or anything. He had yet another traumatic experience, he'd been thinking extra hard about what his actions had done to his family, and he thought he'd fucked up Ed's life because he somehow?? forgot that Ed sounded ready to retire literally the first day they met??? like two weeks ago max lol The fact is that even though he's a kind person, he still did something that deeply hurt Ed by fucking off without saying a word.
Fourth, I'm not sure I'd say that Stede wants all of Ed and doesn't also idealize Ed to a degree. He doesn't want the part that's careless and bullying like Calico Jack (extremely valid but def could have communicated that better). And, again, he has a hard time really seeing the part of Ed that's chill with domesticity. And like you said, Ed has fallen in love with an incomplete understanding of Stede, but I'm not sure he realizes that, which I'll talk about more below. I think ultimately Ed has fallen in love with Stede's quirky enthusiasm and kindness, which are very much real and prominent aspects of Stede. They do see and appreciate each other in ways no one else does, but their relationship is still immature.
Fifth, I couldn't figure out a way to elaborate while keeping the format I wanted, but what I mean by Ed having a point is that Stede can't just bust in saying he wants Ed as if his actions didn't seem to hardcore contradict that. Saying "just you" would be massive oversimplification in a way that would be dismissive of his impact on Ed and the rejection that Ed felt. Even if Stede genuinely wants all of Ed (and note I called him honest when saying "just you"), that's sure not the message that Ed's received so far based on Stede's actions (as I said in another post).
Sixth, I don't think Stede's a bad person at all. I think he's incredibly kind, flawed, and very traumatized. I think Ed is a very complex and flawed person because of how emotional and traumatized he is. They've both got a lot of growing to do and I really, really hope we get two more seasons so we can see it.
Seventh, I know Ed was more rhetorical during his "being Blackbeard sucks" speech so didn't give Stede a chance to share, but what's the other cutting off Stede's attempt to share? And, honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if it just hasn't occurred to Ed that Stede may have legit trauma due to seeing Stede's class privilege and assuming, like many do, that that means life was easy and kind to them. Remember that Ed didn't even know what passive aggression is, so the kind of violence and abuse that Stede has faced probably doesn't even occur to Ed as being violence. In fact, it's regarded as fun in a hazing frat boys kind of way in pirating culture, which, again, Ed could do well to heal from rather than partake in.
Eighth and final point, this is just a show. Not everyone is as calm and thick-skinned as I am, so I'd recommend taking time to calm yourself/vent to others so you're not sending such heated comments to folks. I know the show and characters are important to us, but it's all fictional and not worth possibly hurting fellow real life people over.
Cheers, m'dear 💖
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