#(I LOVE HOW CONSIDERATE SHE IS ;;;;;;;
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AH MAN I just got out of bed and I was hungry so I got some cereal and then my mom immediately febreezed the house and now my cereal tastes bad
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going insane thinking about the paralleled relationships of palamedes’ fondness for harrow and camilla’s fondness of gideon. and their respective simularities! harrow being jealous of gideon mooning over dulcinea. camilla being jealous of palamedes being in love with dulcinea since he was 8. camilla being fond of gideon after realizing gideon also has a melodramatic necromancer. palamedes and harrow’s “necromantic pissing contest”. gideon and camilla’s love of swords. palamedes “I'm the greatest necromancer of my generation”, harrow “like hell you are”. palamedes suiciding detonating himself to take out cytherea. gideon suiciding throwing herself on spikes to send harrow full lyctor to take out cytherea. palamedes “i miss harrow terribly” sextus. harrow “i can’t envision a universe without you in it” nonagesimus, camilla “life is too short and love is too long” hect. gideon “you’ll know what to do” nav, palamedes “she knows what to do” sextus. crazy! crazy insane! thinking about them
#the locked tomb#tlt#griddlehark#tlt spoilers#they're my forever loves sorry#there's more i could go on but like. lol!#SO much more#ableist slurs or whatever (lol) but they're necessary to me !#also reread parts of GtN and HtN and i must have missed the part#the first time around where palamedes HUGS harrow and LIFTS her off the ground#AND kissed her brow before she left the projection bubble#i'm in tatters...........#life is too short and love too long..........#thinking of palamedes seeing harrow in the river and then seeing harrow (nona) after the incident with john and the miraethium#'i miss harrow terribly'................ i'm going to start crying#how palamedes takes care of nona (harrow) and loves her............... please#how camilla treats nona (harrow) so tenderly and considerately and fondly#i'm going to start ripping and tearing and killing with my teeth
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tdp s6 really said this one's for all the daughters out there. stay safe girlies
#“i'm your daughter” and i'm at my fucking limit#that scene man#and i'm not exactly a daughter myself so i can't imagine how much that must hit for some other people#but i do have a daughter#and you best bet i was thinking of her whilst sobbing over e9#she may have a little more hair and a little less opposable thumbs than most children#but she's still my baby and i love her to death#tdp spoilers#tdp s6#moon fam#mage fam#rayla#rayla tdp#tdp rayla#claudia#tdp claudia#tdp leola#tdp#the dragon prince#fun fact when i was watching Rayllum Kiss Scene she came over to give me some kisses of her own#they were a little more tongue-focused#but not by that much i don't think#she also likes to place a considerate paw i mean hand on my arm when i'm getting too into it#thanks for keeping me in check babygirl
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i do not enjoy harry potter anymore and even when i did, snape was not a character i ever liked, but for some reason my ‘for you’ page is just full of dedicated snape stan accounts and i hate it
#anti jk rowling#anti severus snape#anti harry potter#like okay i remain a strong proponent of ‘you are allowed to like whatever fiction you like’#but it’s important to consider whether the author—when presenting certain subjects—critically evaluates their own opinion on those subjects#like how stephanie meyer in twilight thinks it’s funny to have all the vampires make dog jokes at jacob because he’s a werewolf#but he’s native so it comes off as REALLY racist#(and also in the case of jkr specifically she’s using her money from hp to fund terf shit LET HP DIE)#and the dozen-ish snape takes i’ve seen seem to demonstrate these accounts are either not interested in or cannot critically evaluate snape#a character written by a woman to be a redeemable asshole who take out a petty schoolyard resentment against a kid’s dad ON THE KID#the orphaned abused kid i might add—when the redeemable man in question is implied to have come from an abusive home himself#i just saw one like ‘oh if it’s okay to call him ‘snivellus’ then it must be okay to call luna ‘loony’ right?#sorry when was luna joining a hate group against muggles and muggle-borns#i don’t deny james and co bullied snape quite viciously but he gave back just as much and also never grew out of that pettiness#not to mention he only turned from voldemort because he was specifically going to kill lily#all other muggleborns dying was apparently just fine by him#i still don’t get the love of this character not because it’s a bad thing to like villainous characters#but it’s ALWAYS the justification of his actions—as if he was in the right to bully harry (an orphaned abused child) because of harry’s dad#there’s no criticism consideration of the author’s biases in there#should you not be a bit concerned that she thinks calling your best friend a slur ‘ONE TIME’ is something that should be just forgotten#aj abstractions
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The face of a woman who loves someone for who is he and forgives him for who he isn't.
#i go back and forth on jamie being dyslexic#he could also just be bad at spelling#which is fair enough and not a crime!#either way he did his bes and the leak is NOT his fault#and keeley knows that#knows there's nothing to forgive#but how gratifying it must be#to have her faith in jamie justified#seeing him grow into the man she always thought he'd be#she's intensely aware of his flaws but she's equally aware of his (considerable) strenghts#and she loves him in spite of and because of all of that#after they hugged they went inside and fell back in love your honour#jamiekeeley#keeley jones#jamie tartt#3x08#my stuff
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thinking about scully sitting on the floor of mulder’s apartment just holding him as he wept after his mother’s death and after she told him through tears that it’s time to stop. it’s time to stop looking for his sister.
and how she had already told him that once, seven years earlier, a month into their partnership, when she chased him out of a police station and told him to stop running after his sister because it won’t bring her back.
she called after him to just stop, because she’s the scientist, and that’s the logical conclusion that she had reached.
except later that night, he told her why he does it. that he’s been closing his eyes and walking into that room, thinking maybe, when he opens them, his sister will be there, since he was 12 years old. “every day” of his life.
and she never told him to stop again.
until seven years later, when she rocked him on the floor, and then the next day was asked “why do you want to bring all this back up now?” and answered, “someone owes it to mulder.”
so she started looking. she reopened files, she tracked down records, she went to his mother’s house to dig through the trash. she confronted CSM about what he knew, she flew to california, she held hands and prayed.
she looked at mulder and said “it hurts me to tell you this” and stayed steady in the truth anyway. she listened to him read to her about a 14-year-old girl’s pain, held his hand and told him to get some sleep. she stayed up, kept looking, and found it. “i got it, mulder. i couldn’t believe it when i saw it. it was like it was looking for me.”
the police report from when samantha ran away.
she read the hospital records, went to the home of the nurse who signed the intake report, asked him if he wanted her to go herself.
she left him by the car and walked up and knocked, asked about a patient in 1979. she listened as the nurse described how “you couldn’t forget her or how frightened she was. scared for her sweet life.” and the man who came for her, who wouldn’t put out his cigarette.
earlier the day before, she had been told to just stop. “word of advice, me to you: let it be. you know, there’s some wounds that are just too painful ever to be reopened.”
and she had responded, “this particular wound has never healed. and mulder deserves closure.”
after seven years, she knows now, that you can’t just stop chasing. she knows how heavy grief is, and she‘s seen the effects of carrying it alone. of walking into the worst night of your life every day, eyes closed, hopeful.
you can’t just stop, and you can’t really have closure, but you can help someone carry it.
and ultimately, that’s what made this the end of the road. sometimes the heaviest burden of grief is feeling that pain is all there is left of someone, and that alleviating it would be to abandon them.
scully’s right, this wound has never closed, but there’s freedom in shared remembrance and shared dedication. she doesn’t ask him to stop until he’s ready to know the truth, and she’s willing to find it. she doesn’t ask him to rest until it’s safe for him to, because it’s not forgetting samantha. she knows and she remembers.
#i’m having a tough week thank you all for your consideration#i forgot that that police report file just found her. god#these girls love mulder so much#they’re always working in tandem#it means so much esp with the death of his mother that someone else in the world just remembers#it’s mulder in the pilot saying ‘no one ever talked about it’ and how everyone just pretended she never existed#it’s the childhood photos that scully sees burnt in the trash#everyone tried to just erase her from existence so much that mulder had to dedicate his entire life to remembering her#but it’s lighter now#someone else knows#someone else knows that they spent their summers playing baseball and that they argued over the tv and that he’s looked for her#in every room that he has ever been in#someone else knows what happened to her and the horror that she suffered and how she wrote that they didn’t even treat her like a person#how she wrote that she just wishes she could see her brother’s face#sometimes that matters more than any reveal or any truth or any conspiracy#she’s going to be remembered and she’s going to be thought of and loved#even if he goes home and gets some sleep#even if he stops looking#txf.txt#closure#sein und zeit
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How I Met My Soulmate
Available digitally
Available in print
#i am unhealthy about them#genuinely unwell#im sorry but#theyre both hot???#its rude#and hes so kind and considerate#i mean he complains a lot#but thats just fine#and shes so bold#im so proud of her#manga#manga recommendation#screencaps#romance#manga panel#shoujo#shojo#fyres hyperfixations#josei#uni setting#kodansha#how i met my soulmate#you are the one i am destined to fall in love#unmei no hito ni deau hanashi
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life went forward and the world moved on but I never got over among us (2018)
#but no one:(( will play it:(( with me:((#i miss amogus with my ex best friend and all her friends#she was just like me fr she loved introducing all her friends to each other its another reason i loved her so much#and why i struggled so much when my high school best friend started making friends outside of me who didnt like me#one of them even gave me this long ass lecture on KAVYA YOU DONT NEED TO BE FRIENDS WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS' FRIENDS YOU KNOW#oh and you cAnt jUst Ask pEoPle tO bE yOuR fRiEnd (jokes on her we're friends now. kind of ive been ghosting her for a while but not the po#Int 💀)#and look i learned that. sort of. but i still struggle with it sometimes#like at least with my best friends i always wanted to know about and be involved with everyone in their lives you know#which ive realized now is not practical#but im still this hopeless romantic who wants to be friends with all my friends friends and all my friends to be friends#even if i barely have the energy for it anymore. i guess losing her drilled that in#also another thing i realized is. its good to keep your friends separate sometimes because if the chain breaks you dont lose a whole system#which wasnt even a point of consideration for me back then because like i said. hopeless romantic. why would we ever fall out#but yeah it was hard having to accept that sometimes the whole world doesnt want to be friends. and people are allowed to dislike each othe#shocking i know#anyway what am i even talking about how did i get here#liveblogging.pdf
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Look i know strikes are good and ill keep telling that to myself but the public transportation keeps doing that for a few days every week at this point and i wanna cry because i have no other way of getting to work.. luckily my parents live near my workplace so i can sleep there but i cannot wind down there also cant take my laptop with me because it would be too heavy to carry to work with me so no digital art either...
#look i love my mom but she is very negative all the time and that gets me down#you can only listen to someone who is like super thin talk about how disgusting she feels because she has a small little bit of fat#especially because i am like considerally more chubby#and she keeps telling me that i am too fat#sigh#well and i miss my gf#sanch#im ighhgh like all power to the unions so i dont wanna complain but its just a bit much for me...
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voila! a just some doods of my favorite secondary characters!! I'm actually really proud with how they both came out! ESPECIALLY JACK O BONNIE!! HIS GLOW WAS REALLY FUN!!
a bonus doodle under tha cut <3
definitely gotta redesign the rest of the mediocre melodies!
#shut up dezzy#dez speaks#dezs doods#my art#fnaf#fnaf 4#ffps#five nights at freddy's#jack o bonnie#nedd bear#UGH i love these two#and#pigpatch#happy frog#!!#they were fun to draw! i like to think of them a lil more accurate to their animals in my designs!#although i make happy frog (might call her happi??) in the lil inbetween phase of tadpole just turning to frog#so thats why she still has her lil tail <3#ALSO i believe that the rest of the mm should have a flower motif (like how mr hippo and orville have them on their chests) but the others'#are considerably less noticeable :)
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i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶
#look . i LOVE ten . esp whatevers going on w him in s3 he's horrible and i like that#but just !! martha :(#its so incredibly unfair to martha he doesnt unleash his wrath on the Family he chooses to hide instead and okay yeah fair#and sure u can say the tardis chose the setting and time period for them to hide in but like#did that not filter in to his calculations he went through all that turned himself human put his friendship with martha to the test in#the worst way possible. knowing she wouldn't let herself leave him even if he was Abhorrent towards her (and he was) because#of her duty to the universe and beyond and whatever . to blend in and keep the Family off their tails#and she's put in a demeaning position and degraded and even he doesn't seem to care much for her but she still hangs on#and then in the end its like its all for naught. all that pain and suffering martha went through being the only one w her wits about her#he had the capacity to deal w the threat the whole time he had the ability to dole out a horrible punishment he could definitely#have dealt with them a different way than that too .#and instead in his quest to be the bigger person he ends up putting martha through the horrors and then#does the same with the Family anyway ! i dont think he can ever tell her how harshly he dealt with them#surely this isnt an original thought im just thinking Way too much about blue moon by niki#he Does care more about being good than being good to her specifically !! and its so upsetting theyre so volatile i miss them#its more complicated than that sure but at the same time. it sort of isnt .#anyway martha jones my love my life u deserved at least a billion apologies alongside the thanks like god . whats wrong w him#oh and also he wants to move on without properly talking about it . act as if it never happened#like girl be fucking considerate for ONCE she just went through a personal hell for you !!! how insanely lonely she must of been#i dont believe martha ever let him just brush past it w no acknowledgement like yes i think she definitely didnt want to discuss the#accidental confession but i Do think she would sit him down to finally get him to Accept he cant just take her wherever in the past#if he's not ready to look out for her . its a vital conversation i think they need to have otherwise martha would just walk out there#not even love could make her stay through that its been established already she has the strength to try walk away#and also to try and but through his bullshit and demand answers . and here more than ever she deserves his acknowledgement and he Knows it
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Maybe I'm projecting and being hopeful but I mentioned to M that I don't even get to shit by myself in peace lmao and I feel like something clicked for him. Bc I was like hey, at least you get private bathroom breaks at work (noncombative). And since then he's been a lot more acquiescent when I ask if I can nap and stuff
#he's never rly said no he just used to be like 'well whaf if i want to nap' like in the early parenting days#which evolved into 'yeah i guess'-type responses#lately he's more like 'yeah!' like his tone is less. whatever it was before#same with any requests i make in general like if he'll put e down for bed and stuff#idk my weird episode epiphany thing i went through last week has me feeling much less patient and self-questioning#it's just a fact that constantly asking myself if i'm being considerate enough of others has done nothing for me#like it hasn't even improved my relationships.. i don't really have any lol#like i'm done biting my tongue bc idk if i've properly considered their perspective.. i end up blowing up at minor things as a result anyway#like it makes me a worse partner fr#i also really feel like i've been putting daggers thru my own spirit by doing this for so long#like i need to stop troubleshooting my existence like 'what if i conform this way' 'what if i conform that way'#here's what if: you will be profoundly unhappy and no one who you love will truly know you#this is such a tangent off what i started talking about but basically i'm done reflexively wondering#every time i feel wronged disrespected etc. if actually i'm the one in the wrong. it really is reflexive#the way m's mom responded to me setting a boundary was a wake up call like apparently she just read into what i was saying too much#so hypothetically it wasn't the boundary she was angry about but how she thought i set it#but like i don't have any time for you if my extremely sincere and straightforward communication isn't good enough for you#like i'm not going to be understanding of your inability to take me at face value we didn't both fuck up. You did#and that's how i'm going to act. like You fucked up. yk
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some sketchbook spreads i like
#(i know i already posted the first page but....i like how it looks as a spread tehe)#anyways some gay animals for your consideration#oc: maddie#sketches#sketchbook#anthro#furry art#cat#butch#lesbian#i love maddie shes so dad
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swifties’ beef with people who have supposedly wronged taylor is so funny to me cause it’s like on one end of the spectrum one dude stole her entire body of work and one dude emotionally manipulated her and their relationship when she was 19 and on the other end of the spectrum there’s her boyfriend of 6 years she parted amicably with and a girl who can’t even legally drink alcohol in the united states like it’s all so unserious be so fucking real
#BUT ITS ALL TREATED WITH THE SAME SEVERITY#and i think it’s different when people are like yeah it seems they might have beef or this is interesting#but people literally put situations like the one with olivia rodrigo at the same level of that with scooter like it’s all so silly and rid#*ridiculous’#*!#me and my keyboard are struggling#also i can’t base my perception of a person based off of something i THINK my favorite artist (who i don’t know) might THINK about them#if olivia rodrigo had been like actually i don’t even know what she could’ve been like to make me hate her the way eveeyone seems to#(even though taylor has talked at length how traumatizing that experience can be at such a young age but whatever)#and people always bring up the conan grey not listening to midnights but he was literally touring at the time 😭#and almost every single person i’ve ever talked to who tours or works on a touring crew has said#it’s incredibly difficult to listen to new music especially new albums while touring#and especially if it’s an artist they love they want to give it consideration but like i said this whole situation#is so silly! oh you’re not gonna listen to her album because of taylor??? respectfully grow up!#i’m just so tired of seeing this discourse everywhereeeeeeeeeeee#anyway alkakakakakdkd#eris: text
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There's a point at which disliking Rebecca just falls into vastly tired women-hating tropes lacking any nuanced thought and part of this fandom's definitely made it there
#abuse mention#inspired by seeing the tv tropes page. and then people praising it#brief summary of parts of the tv tropes page would be *she was an awful bitch who deserved to die*#like can we have some perspective#some consideration for where info on her comes from. those characters vested interests. the fact that all of this is then filtered through#*i*. you think i is reliable here#ich and maxim are weird and fascinating and i love them as fictional characters#but i hate how horrible and downright stupid the rebecca hate has got#and i dont like her anyway#but phrases like 'utterly selfish narcissistic bitch' who's husband killed her in a 'righteous fury'#because divorce would have 'destroyed manderley' (bullshit) and she 'rather had it coming' because she was 'utterly rotten'#just say you dislike women and go jesus#thats not even all the quotes i hated on the page#its excused with well she was an abuser/maxim's a victim of abuse which is headcanon.#which i still dont rhink justifies the stuff being said but more importantly#its as easy to textually back up maxim being an abuser as it is rebecca#and he's the one with structural power and she's the one who's been murdered#he's also the one with all the power to shape the narrators views. because he's alive and rebecca's been murdered.#which will affect how the narrator reports events and conversations thoughout the story#my headcanon? sure but just as supported by the text as the other interpretation and i dont belitted and victim blame women to do it#and in no way do i think rebecca's perfect. I think the level of awful you think she is is based on personal interpretation#and that maybe in a public fandom space/website and not just your own blog not talking about women like might be nice
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(Going insane boinkinh one AU in my head)
Hey hey hey
May I interest you in
(Slowly slides my FaaF AU towards you but void just Disappears without a trace one day before the accolade)
Teehee
#thylacines can talk#faaf au#i love this au very yummy. a very fun twist on how Flower's dynamic with their parents would progress afterwards#the vessels live but the void exits their bodies in quite a violent manner (extreme pain and literally throwing up an entire person worth of#void). Flower was on guard duty and theyre found barely conscious in a pool of rapidly evaporating void. passes out seconds later#PK also had the displeasure of experiencing extene pain and burning as void forced its way out through his skin <3 And his moulds all melted#and evaporated. after the initial shock wears off theyre hit with “Oh No#the vessel“ and rush to find them. Well somebody else was already looking for the royal pair about this#Flower wakes up dazed and in pain in their father's workshop. their stomach hurts their throat burns and they feel lightheaded. the entire#place is considerably brighter than they remember and in they can hear two faint voices in the background but theyre too preoccupied with#examining their now pure white hand in shock to focus on anything else. until they hear their mother say “My wyrm they're awake” and#suddenly their parents are by their side. Now the two have no idea what void leaving their body might have done to them. Are they still#hollow? are they still dead? do they understand anything are they sentient? or was what was done pernament even without the void? do they#have the mind of a child if their sentience was restored? or do they remember anything? So WL stays by their side and helps them sit up#while their father goes to grab his tools. She's trying to keep them calm and comfort them but theyre still too disoriented to pay her much#attention. Until their father checks their breathing and they yelp audibly from the cool metal contacting their skin and suddenly they seem#much more alert. theyve never experienced true coldness before. PK quickly apologises and tries to be gentler with them. Theyre breathing#properly and they have a heartbeat. And he just pauses for a long while just. listening to their heart beating. Many emotions to be had#after the exam's over he asks them point blank how theyre feeling. And Flower looks up at him still seeming a little disoriented. and then#they lower their hand to their stomach and mutter 'My tummy hurts...a-and my throat burns'. It's to be expected after the way the void#left their body. so he goes to grab them some water and meds and they also ask for food and a mirror. And after he returns they just stare#at themself in the mirror and pull on their bangs for a while then blurt out 'I have your eyes' when PK asks if everything's okay. And he#and he almost chokes up as he replies 'Yeah...Yeah you do'. Flower eventually spins a lie that they remember everything but its all distant#and blurry. Like they were not aware until now. They figured it'd be better to not break their hearts#And now the three have to figure out how to be a family while PK is also scrambling to find a new solution to the infection#oops i meant to only give a brief rundown in the tags which is why it was in the tags. but i got too invested KDHDKFB
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