#(I Cannot Believe I Am Actually Finishing This One I am Doing This for fUN OK I'll finish the rest Later but Anyway Koushiro Manifesto)

[anonymousewrites]

Pearl of the Sea Chapter Twenty-Three

Found Family! PoTC Cast x Teen! Reader

Platonic! Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann, Jack Sparrow, Tia Dalma x Reader

Chapter Twenty-Three: Calling the Brethren Court

Summary: (Y/N), Jack, Barbossa, and the pirates arrive for the Brethren Court. Meanwhile, multiple enemies begin to circle.

            (Y/N) watched the vibrant coast of Shipwreck Island grow closer as they sailed towards it. The green trees of the island hung over the cliffs, and the blue waters felt alive.

            “Look alive and keep a weather eye,” said Gibbs. “Not for naught it’s called Shipwreck Island. Where lies Shipwreck Cove and the town of Shipwreck.”

            “Not very creative people, the founders of the town,” observed (Y/N).

            Jack grinned. “You heard them, step lively.” He watched the crew prepare for heading towards the cove itself. “For all that pirates are clever clogs, we are unimaginative when it comes to naming things,” said Jack to (Y/N), completely agreeing with them.

            “Aye,” said (Y/N).

            “I once sailed with a geezer who lost both his arms and part of his eye,” said Jack.

            “What’d you call him?” asked (Y/N).

            “Larry,” said Jack.

            “He went through all that and didn’t even get a fun nickname, what a disappointment,” said (Y/N), turning to watch the crew prepare to make port. They frowned when they saw Barbossa call Pintel and Ragetti to his side.

            “Take this fishwife to the brig,” said Barbossa, looking at Tia Dalma.

            (Y/N) moved towards her as she was guided towards the stairs. “What are you doing? She’s our friend.”

            “She is a witch who wants her own goals to be met,” said Barbossa.

            “I am so much more,” said Tia Dalma, narrowing her eyes. (Y/N) felt the sea pull around them, and their skin itched. She looked at (Y/N). “But I am your friend. Remember that, dear child of the sea.” She disappeared belowdecks.

            Barbossa didn’t like that. Tia Dalma was dangerous enough trapped in this form. Once she was released…her fury would be unleashed on them. And yet she seemed fond of (Y/N). So what was her plan with them?

l

            “I believe you are familiar with a person called Calypso,” said Beckett, pouring another glass of tea for himself and Will while Jones stiffened.

            “Not a person,” said Jones, fearful for the first time in his existence. “A heathen god. Who delights in cursing men with their wildest dreams and then revealing them to be hollow and naught by ash. The world is well ride of her.”

            “Not quite so well, actually,” said Will. He had heard from Jack all he needed to. “The Brethren Court intends to release her.”

            “No! They cannot!” said Jones. “The First Court promised to imprison her forever! That was our agreement.”

            “Your agreement?” remarked Beckett.

            Jones was caught and had to answer. “I…showed them how to bind her. She could not be trusted. I-She gave me no choice. We must act before they release her.”

            “You loved her.” Will saw the truth plainly. “She’s the one. And then you betrayed her.”

            “She pretended to love me,” seethed Jones. “She betrayed me.”

            Will rose and faced Jones. “And after which betrayal did you cut out your heart, I wonder.”

            Jones shoved the teacup out of Will’s hand, and it smashed on the ground. “Do not test me,” he said slowly.

            “I hadn’t finished that,” said Will. “You will free my father.” He faced Beckett. “And you will guarantee Elizabeth and (Y/N)’s safety. Along with my own.”

            “Your terms are steep, Mr. Turner. The nereid…I had my own plans for them,” said Beckett. However, if he wanted Will to give him the information he desired, then he’d…pretend to go along with his terms. It wasn’t as if he needed to go along with a bargain with a pirate in the end, anyways. “We will expect fair value in return.”

            “There is only one price I will expect: Calypso murdered,” said Jones.

            “Calypso’s aboard the Black Pearl,” said Will. “Jack has sailed the Black Pearl to Shipwreck Cove.”

            “And with you no longer aboard her, how do you propose to lead us there?” said Beckett.

            Will held up the compass he’d gotten from the Pearl. “What is it you want most?”

l

            Tia Dalma sat in her cell and listened to the waves around her. She could hear the vibrations of the pirates of Shipwreck town cheering running through her, and she knew the Court would begin any moment now. Her freedom as Calypso would be on the line. But until then, she would sit with the waves and her candles and pray to the pantheon gods she was once a part of.

            A soft music box chimed, and the sound echoed through the brig. Tia Dalma’s eyes opened, and she stood. From the shadows, Davy Jones approached. He held his music box locket and gazed into her eyes.

            “My sweet,” said Tia Dalma. “You come for me.”

            “You were expecting me,” said Jones.

            “It has been torture,” said Tia Dalma. “Trapped in this single form. Cut off from the sea. From all that I love. From the sirens, the mermaids, the nereids, my dear family. From you.”

            “Ten years I devoted to the duty you charged to me,” said Jones. “Ten years I looked after those who died at sea. And, finally, when we could be together again, you weren’t there.” He snapped the locket closed, and the music cut out. “Why weren’t you there?”

            Tia Dalma smiled sadly. “It’s my nature. Would you love me if I was anything but what I am?”

            Jones turned away as if struck. “I do not love you.”

            “Many things you were, Davy Jones,” said Tia Dalma. “But never cruel. You have corrupted your purpose and so yourself. And you did hide away what should always have been mine.” She reached through the bars and touched his chest, right above the empty space where his heart should have been.

            Jones gasped. Upon her touch, all his monstrous, cephalopod-like characteristics faded to reveal a simple, human man. Tia Dalma smiled and reached up to touch his face. Jones reached through the bars and touched her face gently as if afraid she’d disappeared upon his touch.

            “Calypso,” he breathed reverently, lovingly.

            “I will be free,” said Tia Dalma softly. “And when I am, I would give you my heart. And we would be together always.” She drew her hand back. “If only you had a heart to give.” Without her touch, Jones’s monstrous features returned.

            He reached through the bars with a claw-like hand and grabbed her neck.

            “Why did you come?” said Tia Dalma, refusing to cower.

            Jones stared at his claw and withdrew it. He melted through the bars of the cell and advanced on Tia Dalma. She took several steps back.

            “And what fate have you planned for your captors?” Jones didn’t answer her question and gave her one of his own.

            “The Brethren Court?” said Tia Dalma savagely. “All of them, the last thing they will learn in this life is how cruel I can be.” She paused. “And I will release the nereid. They are trapped by magic meant to have them assimilate with humans. I will give their sea spirit the freedom it deserves.”

            “Beckett will kill them,” said Jones.

            “You mean he will order you to kill them,” said Tia Dalma. She sneered. “Because they will not be tamed.” She stared at Jones. “Know one thing—they are blessed by the sea. They are born from it just as I am.” She raised her chin. “Just as I deserve my power returned, they will have all of theirs.”

l

            (Y/N) was amazed by the countless amounts of pirates gathered at Shipwreck Cove, a group that hadn’t gathered for years, but they were not amazed or surprised at the chaos of it all. The town towered above them with rickety buildings built haphazardly on top of one another. Still, (Y/N) could feel the waters thrumming with energy and the freedom in the air.

            “There has not been a gathering like this in our lifetime,” said Barbossa, looking at the town as they approached.

            “And I owe them all money,” said Jack, wincing.

            Oh boy.

            Barbossa groaned and ignored Jack for the rest of the trip to the “courtroom.” At it, as many pirates as possible had crowded into the small room while the nine pirate lords took their places around the table. Sao Feng was still missing, but Barbossa didn’t have a care for it and banged a makeshift gavel made of a cannonball. The murmurs of the crowd died down, and everyone faced him.

            “As he who issued summons, I convene this, the Fourth Brethren Court,” said Barbossa. Everyone sat in their places. “To confirm your lordship and right to be heard, present now your pieces of eight, my fellow cap’ns.”

            Ragetti walked around with a bowl and collected the “pieces of eight.” In reality, they were just small trinkets, almost junk—a pipe, a playing card, a broken bottle top, tongs, spectacles, and a cup made up seven of the pieces.

            “Those are the pieces of eight?” said (Y/N), not judging but curious.

            “Aye,” said Gibbs. “The original plan was to use nine pieces of eight to bind Calypso. But when the First Court met, they were to a one skint broke.”

            “Calypso is the goddess of the sea, right?” said (Y/N)

            Gibbs nodded. “Aye. And she was bound to a human form so that the seas could be tamed and sailed.”

            (Y/N) frowned. They believed the ocean should be free, so even if it was a dangerous goddess they were discussing, they weren’t sure about keeping her trapped. It felt wrong to deny a force of nature freedom.

            “Master Ragetti, if you will,” said Barbossa once Ragetti got to him.

            “I kept it safe, just like you said when you gave it to me,” said Ragetti.

            “Aye, you have. But now I need it back,” said Barbossa. He knocked Ragetti on the back of the head and caught his wooden eye as it popped out. He put it in the bowl, another piece of eight.

            “Sparrow,” called one of the lords.

            Jack touched a bead and coin tied into his hair before walking forward. “Might I point out that we are still short one pirate lord, and I’m content as a cucumber to wait until Sao Feng joins us.”

            Why does he want to wait? Don’t be playing any more tricks, Jack, thought (Y/N). They never ended well for anyone.

            “Sao Feng’s dead.”

            All heads turned to a pirate walking into the room. Elizabeth, dressed in Singaporean clothes and a pirate’s hat, stood before a group of pirates that seemed to be following her lead.

            “He fell to the Flying Dutchman,” said Elizabeth.

            “Lizzie!” said (Y/N) in relief. Despite how angry they’d been at Elizabeth, they were relieved she was alive. Now, how to tell her Will was stuck in the brig of the Pearl and they hadn’t visited him at all was another matter…Not for now, though.

            “The plagued ship!” said a pirate lord, the woman from China. Murmurs went up in fear of the Dutchman.

            Elizabeth stabbed her sword into the globe to mark herself as present. She sent a quick smile to (Y/N) to assure them that, despite her acting serious to get the pirates to listen her, she was glad to see them.

            “He made you captain?” exclaimed Jack. “They’re giving the bloody title away now.”

            “Que lo manden al diablo!” cursed a pirate lord.

            “Listen. Listen to me,” said Elizabeth. “Our location has been betrayed.”

            (Y/N)’s eyes went to Jack, and he avoided their gaze. He had sworn not to lie to them, and he hadn’t, and he fully intended betray Beckett and protect them and piracy, but things, as in the past, had gone a bit pear-shaped so far.

            Plus, it had really been Will to betray everyone. Hopefully he hadn’t signed away (Y/N)’s fate in any bargain he made (not that Jack even considered the possibility. If one pirate present was safe, it was (Y/N). They had too many powerful people trying to help them. Jack had a soft spot for them, Elizabeth was now a lord and was their family, Will had helped raise them, Barbossa even seemed amused by the teenager and was fond of them, and even Tia Dalma liked them).

            “Jones is under the command of Lord Beckett. They’re on their way here,” said Elizabeth.

            “Who is this betrayer?!” said the African pirate lord.

            “Not likely anyone among us,” said Barbossa, keeping everyone from turning their weapons on one another.

            “Where’s Will?” asked Elizabeth.

            “Not among us,” said Jack. “And he does know how to escape cells.”

            (Y/N) groaned. Will and Jack were terrible at making deals and double-crossing people since it always backfired. If they survived Beckett, (Y/N) was kicking both their asses and going to be a way better negotiator at sea.

            “It matters now how they found us,” said Barbossa. “The question now is, what will they do now that they have?”

            “We fight,” said Elizabeth.

            (Y/N) nodded in fervent agreement. They weren’t going to cower. If they were going down, it would be showing Beckett that the seas weren’t to be controlled.

            The other pirates scoffed and laughed at her suggestion. (Y/N)’s skin itched at their derision, and they took a deep breath as they felt a pull from the water outside. They were, apparently, full of magic, and they would prefer to not accidentally flood the town.

            “Shipwreck Cove is a fortress,” said the Chinese representative. “A well-supplied fortress. There is no need to fight if they cannot get to us.”

            “There be a third course,” said Barbossa. All heads turned to him. “In another age, at this very spot, the First Brethren Court captured the sea goddess and bound her in her bones.” The pirates nodded. “That was a mistake. Oh, we tamed the seas for ourselves, aye. But opened the door to Beckett and his ilk.” (Y/N) nodded approvingly. “Better were the days when mastery of the seas came not from bargains struck with eldritch creatures but from the sweat of a person’s brow and the strength of their back alone. You all know this to be true.” A murmur of assent rippled through the lords. “Gentlemen. Ladies. Honored guests. We must free Calypso.”

            Shock silenced the entire court. Then, chaos broke out. People were shouting in English, Mandarin, Spanish, various African dialects, and every other present nationality’s language. All were outraged, shocked, and fearful of the suggestion to free Calypso.

            So we have Calypso with us? Who— (Y/N) paused. Ah. Tia Dalma.

            It made sense. She told (Y/N) she was a part of the sea in a similar way to them. She was the goddess of the sea, like they were a spirit of it. (Y/N) suddenly felt very nervous at how candid they always were around Tia Dalma—should they call her Calypso while in human form or not?—despite her truly a goddess. Hopefully, (Y/N) hadn’t made a fool of themself and gotten on a goddess’s bad side.

            “Shoot him!” said the Spanish lord.

            “Cut out his tongue!” demanded the African lord.

            “Shoot him, cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue. And trim that beard,” said Jack.

            “Sao Feng would have agreed with Barbossa!” said one of the Singaporean pirates.

            “Calypso was our enemy then, she will be our enemy now!” said the African lord.

            “It’s unlikely her mood’s improved,” said the French lord.

            “I would still agree with Sao Feng. We release Calypso.” The Spanish lord pulled out his pistol as he spoke.

            “You threaten me?” said the French lord, walking towards the Spanish lord.

            “I silence you,” spat the Spanish lord.

            He raised his pistol, and the French lord punched him in the face. The pistol went off into the air as he fell back. Everyone shouted, and the fight began properly. The French and Spanish launched at each other, and it wasn’t long before everyone else joined in the fray.

            (Y/N) crossed their arms and tapped their foot. They knew they shouldn’t join the fight, and it was only because they were so annoyed they hadn’t yet. They wanted everyone to settle down and handle the issue instead of squabbling. As much as (Y/N) itched to let out their energy, they wanted to use it against Beckett.

            “This is madness,” said Elizabeth.

            “This is politics,” said Jack, shrugging.

            “Meanwhile, our enemies are bearing down upon us,” said Elizabeth.

            “If they not be here already,” said Barbossa grimly.

            (Y/N) sighed. “We need to focus.”

            “How do you get this lot to focus?” grumbled Elizabeth.

            (Y/N) grabbed their pistol and stepped onto the table.

            “Uh, laddie?” said Jack.

            Bang!

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[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[curvykittyyssmutfics]

o.k I am a fan of bruce wayne/batman, so i would like you to write where bruce wayne has a short-size bossy assistant, reader who knew about his batman vigilante secret and he has a secret crush on him. She teased him, one day wearing a short skirt in a hot summer, made him want to bang her against the office table

The Proposal

So estastic to finally have a night off work, I enthusiastically hum while the evening news plays low in the background as I put the finishing touches on my look. Running my fingers through my long, soft, dark tresses, I twist left and right to asses my sultry outfit through the body length mirror on the wall of my bedroom. I do one spin, then another, smirking at the way my mini skirt barely covers my plump chocolate rear.

I cannot believe Bruce is actually gonna let me outta his sight for more than 2 seconds. It's a God damn miracle and I plan on shakin my ass with my girls all night while sippin the fruitiest dranks I can buy. That is till I hear my phone vibrate and beep from my vanity beside me, notifying me of an incoming text. Hmm.. Need I guess who the fuck that is? I roll my eyes as I grab my phone and see a text from Bruce Wayne tellin, not askin, me to come do his bidding.

Bruce: Hey, honey. Come by the office round 10 tonight and drop of the proposal we've been working on.

Seriously? It was my first night off in 2 weeks and here's comes the infamous Batman, swoopin in to destroy my plans. So, his sexy ass refuses to fuck me and release the tension from years of workin under him but not letting me actually be under him- yet commands I wait on him hand and foot.

My eyes almost tear up from the immediate disappointment and frustration I feel. Not being dicked down in over a year was making my need for a good fuck damn near animalistic. The concept of a fun evening with the possibility of gettin some dick, since Bruce's fine ass ignored each and every one of my filthy advances, is now completely ruined; makes me have to take a deep breath before I pick up my glitter encased cellphone.

Me: Whyyyy? This is the only night I have off for like another couple of weeks and I have plans. Can't you reschedule?

His response back is lighting fast and I can't help but give a small giggle as I imagine his sexy stern ass all frowned up, nostrils flaring at the prospect of me not givin in to his demands instantly. Bruce isn't the kinda man that likes to be told no. Plus, the proposal we'd recently been working on was imperative to the deal he was currently trying to close. Still, I wouldn't be me if I didn't turn into a full blown brat with him for impeding my plans.

Bruce: Late night meeting, no cannot reschedule. Also, thought you said you were staying home tonight..

Me: Omfg Bruce. My girls begged me to go out tonight so I changed my mind! Didn't know I had to goddamn call and let you know.

Jesus did this man have to always interrogate me on every aspect of my life? He knows everything about me- though it was fair to say I knew him almost as well as Alfred. And it was kinda exciting to secretly know about his extracurricular activities, even if that had less to do with any honesty on his part and more to do with my snoopy ass overhearing a heated conversation between him and his long time friend about hanging up the the towel.

Bruce: Well now you know, sweetheart. What time will you be here?

Condescending bastard! He really never has a doubt that he can bend me to his every whim and normally he fucking can but it's time to get a rile outta him.

Me: Well if I gotta cancel my plans to get some fuckin dick tonight then I think I'll take my sweet fuckin time!

His response isn't as quick this time but it's short enough to know I ticked him off. Serves him right, his 'I can't have you but nobody else can' attitude was tiring.

Bruce: You have 15 minutes.

I roll my eyes at his attempt to scare me as I pull up the Uber app and tap in his office's address. Before I can confirm I hear a firm knock on my apartments front door and Alfred's voice speaking loudly from the other side.

"Ms. y/l/n, Mr. Wayne has sent me to come get you. I've recently been updated that he's in no mood to be kept waiting."

Uh oh, perhaps I should've thought this through. I'm not sure how mad he is or what he'll say when he sees me and now I'm directly and knowingly heading into to the lions cage.

"Coming!" I yell back, grabbing the file from drawer and heading for the door.

30 mins later

I exit the elevator and quickly rush to the where Bruce waits for me, catching a glimpse of my reflection through the glass walls of the other conference rooms. I wish I had time to change the skimpy outfit adorning my frame, doing nothing to contain my juicy ass cheeks as I lightly jog to the room where the meetings being held.

I don't bother knocking, quickly entering the room silently. Walking up behind Bruce sitting like a king at the end of the table as he talks on his cellphone, leaning back lazily in his chair with spread legs. His hips flex in his crisp midnight blue suit as he readjusts himself in his seat. The hefty bulge between his legs draws my eyes for a hot second as he spins slowly in his chair to look at me.

It's as if in an instant he's hungry, eyes sharply roving over every inch of me as he licks his lips sensually. He openly stares at the way my mini skirt barely covers my bottom, how my sheer top does nothing to hide my puckered nipples. The loud expletive he groans out as he eyefucks me goes straight to my empty core, has my abandoned, untouched little hole fluttering as I start to get wet.

"Nah I'm good, stomache ache. Let them know who you're here for when you arrive and someone will let you up. We can go over the proposal and see if you agree to the terms."

Bruce hangs up and sets his phone on the long light brown table that stretches across the room as he looks at me slowly from head to toe; wide dark brown eyes that linger at my plump tits and curvy hips. His mouth open and closes a few times, his shoulders now tense as hell as he sits stiff in his seat and stares at my outfit.

"You really are a fuckin brat, you know that? Did I not fuckin tell you to be here in 15?" He snarls at me, quickly standing to grab the file from between my fingers and toss it next to his phone.

The aggressive action has me swiftly backing up, not being able to take more than few steps before my back hits the wall. Absolutely shocked at the way he stalks towards me, arm quickly stretching out to grip my throat. One of his thick eyebrows remain raised as he waits for me to respond.

"I'm sor- sorry, sir. Traffic-" I stutter out, voice low.

"Yeah the fuck right, dont gimme that bullshit. We both know you think you can say and do whatever the fuck you want with me and I'm not into that, sweetheart. Unless you count me enjoyin punishing your pretty ass for it." He tells me, leaning so close that the tips of our noses almost touch.

My heart pounds as his hand squeezes a bit firmer at my neck, the other smoothing down the side of my tits and torso to my hips and thick brown thighs. The bulky protrusion between his legs presses against my center, makin me weakly grasp at his suit jacket as I lewdly hump at him.

"You look so damn gorgeous rubbing against me like this. Almost distracts me from the fact that you left your house dressed like a fuckin whore."

The mean words and sharp smack to the inside of my thigh makes me yelp his name pathetically; has me spreading my legs as I try to fuck him through his clothing, already so damn close to beggin him to touch me. The sting of the slap is so welcoming, has my eyes and pussy simultaneously getting wet.

"Look at you, tiny little fuckin skirt.. Bet you woulda showed off all my fuckin curves tonight huh? Would done more than that. What didcha say earlier? You had plans to get some dick tonight?" He asks me, pressing me closer between him and the wall.

Bruce smells so fuckin good, the clean smell of a fresh shower and his Burberry cologne mixing deliciously. That plus the shock of his abrasive approach quickly culminates into wanton need. I can't care that I'm already rendered speechless, that I can only gasp for air like a fish outta water at his filthy words.

"You sure fuckin do. But now you wanna be quiet, cant even answer cause your slidin that little pussy allover my lap. Now you wanna act like your my good girl. Actin like your nothing more than my own little slut. Cant take you constantly goading me into fucking you whenever you see me. I can't goddamn take it anymore!"

He lets go of my throat to drop to his knees and lift my mini skirt up. Doesn't waste a second pulling my silky baby blue thong to the side and slurping at the opening of my pussy. I wail as he messily licks inside of me, his tongue jabbing repeatedly to get inside. Nails of both hands scratching at the wall behind me, I come unglued at the intense pleasure he suddenly forces on me.

"Plee- ahhh! P-pleeeeeea-se! Haah, uhnuhnuhnuhn Bru- ah!!" I stutter out my pleasure as I look down and meet his eyes.

The way he takes me in as he devours has me trembling even more against his mouth. As much as I need this, I'm too fucking sensitive. From the way Bruce stares as he eats me it's obvious he knows; is fucking using it to his advantage as his grips each of my ass cheeks and pulls me onto his mouth and fucks me with his tongue as deep as he can. His filthy moans about how good I taste but how bad I am are muffled against my cunt.

His right hand slides down my smooth brown skin, rubbing and groping my thick thighs. He sensually massages down my leg to my calf before slowly making his way back up to my clenched cheeks. A hard smack resonates through me and I shove upwards off his mouth from the impact. His answering growl as he pulls me backs down is clear: don't fucking pull away again.

"Toomuch! Ohohoh pleeeeeeease Bruce!"

He sends me into a blissful spiral, the intense sensation spiking in my core. I'm begging for the torture to end, for him to make me cum. But he only wiggles his tongue inside me widly as he moves his hands to my pussy lips and spreads them wider so he can get deeper.

My eyes must be at the back of my skull from the force of how they roll eye back. I wordlessly plead for reprieve, which he seems to only delight in. He chuckles heartily into the pink of me as he leers at my tits jiggling underneath my shirt.

I'm sure my souls about to rip out my body when I feel his thumb lightly swipe at my throbbing clit once. The tumultuous orgasm tumbling to the surface frightens me, has me seriously doubting my endurance to take it. So it's no fault of mine that I tug at my bosses short brown locks, ripping his swollen lips from my frantically pulsating pussy. He stares at me through narrowed eyes, his straight nose inna prominent snarl as I apologize profusely.

"Imsorryi'msorryi'msorry!" I rush out with heavy breaths and a heaving chest.

"No the fuck you're not, goddamn brat." He spits out as he stands and lifts me up against his strong chest with hands to the back of my thighs.

Walking me to the conference table, Bruce's sits me down atop it. He says nothing, towering above me as he looks down at while unbuckling his belt. His stare is lecherous while unbottoms his pants, so god damn domineering as he pulls out his twitching monster cock and presses it through the wetness between my legs.

It's not gonna fit, no way it'll fit. His dick is to thick, somehow his tip flaring out to become even wider. It's fuckin scary and thats without describing the girthy shaft. Still, I moan at the breathtaking feeling of him tappin the head at my opening. Even though my sweaty body is tense, my insides quiver rapidly hoping to catch his tip.

"I have a proposal for you too, y/n.." He leans in close to whisper against my lips, blocking me from the view of his fat cock at my entrance. "Your gonna take this dick like a good girl and I might not fuck your pretty little mouth and bust down your throat till your unconscious. You agree to the terms?"

I nod slowly, helplessly, my gaze briefly straying to his swollen mouth. Knowing how he ate me moments before and the way he damn near pins me to the table now that he's not letting me go till he's done.

"Look at you being a good girl for once." He compliments, smacking my sensitive clit with his rigid dick over and over.

My eyes roll back as I shout Bruce's name repeatedly, feeling my orgasm race back to the surface with double the intensity. My frame shakes like a leaf underneath him as my back arches and I dig my nails into the wood table beneath me. My mean ass boss only slaps his dick at my pulsing little gem quicker, drinking in my frantic reaction.

He greedily soaks in my pitiful body in the throes of the best orgasm I've ever received. The smile on his face is sinister, so damn dangerous as he replaces his dick with his thumb, sliding the head of his dick to my opening and shoving between my drenched, unprepared fluttering walls.

Time almost seems to stand still, as my lids fly open and I choke, trying and failing to pull in a gasping breaths against his pretty pink lips as he bullies his cock into my pussy while I'm still cumming. He groans like a wounded animal and I'm fucking alarmed that he actually gets in on the first push, though no explanation is needed for the unbearable pressure weighing in my gut.

My legs kick out behind him uncontrollably while I grip onto his suit jacket for dear life and stare at him with big teary eyes. Try as I might to inch off Bruce's cock by scooting backwards, I don't get very far before he's gripping me and pullin me back onto his leaking dick by my neck again.

"Keep. Fuckin. Still!"

Each word accentuated by him sliding in and out of my little hole. His other hand holds himself above me as he fucks into me roughly. My head thrashes side to side as I apologize nonstop. Hair from my two buns loosens and falls, sticking to the perspiration on my face.

"Oooooooh fuck, I can't believe I waited so loooong! Ah, ah, ah, pussyfeelssogood! Uhn, fuck y/n! Not gonna last, too damn tight.. so weeet! Haaaaah!"

His cock digs deep, finally in a bit more than half way as he pumps into me ferociously. It's so fuckin amazing, nothings ever felt so good, so intense. I light years beyond coherence as drool unknowingly seeps from the corner of my mouth as I share my pleasure into the air. All my strength is split between processing the sensations between my legs and breathing.

"Fuuuuuck, sweety.. Gonna make me nut so damn hard. You want that? Fill that pretty little pussy till I can't anymore?

Bruce's grip around my throat tightens and it's a bit hard to breath but my normal reaction of instant panic is delayed by the dizzy feeling filling my head. I'm unaware of the suffocating clenches my pussy gives the big dick invading my insides as he huffs and puffs his pleasure at my ear.

"Ooooh shit, your so perfecttome! Haaaa! Mmmm sweetheart, made for me huh? Uhn, thaaaas a good fuckin girl!"

His back hunches him over my body as he stabs in to the hilt, grinding his pelvis into mine as holds my seizing body to the table. The sudden unlimited pressure against my button sends me off; I take in as much air as I can unaware that my hips lightly hump back at him. Black and white spots dot in and out of my vision as the pressure in my tummy explodes through my battered cunt.

I squirt all over Bruce's suit, sliding my hands through his freshly cut hair down his neck to claw at his thick, muscular shoulders. His name is all I know as I desperately cry it out more times than I can count. No man has fucked to the point of tears and I'd tell him that if I could formulate sentences at the moment.

But I know he's in the same boat as his fingers loosen around my neck and he bites his lip hard, eyebrows drawn together from the way my pussy milks the cum from his cock.

"Oh heeell.. Fuuuuuuuuck, take it honey! Aaaaahhh, that's it, allforyouy/n! Take this nut like a gooooood giiiirrrrl!" He groans, eyes locked where we connect as he continuously pumps into me at his leisure.

It feels foreign but oh so fuckin welcoming as large splashes of cum gush my already soakin wet pussy. My needy insides clasp at Bruce's cock as if demanding he shoot more. He definitely fulfills his promise of stuffing my puffy cunt till she leaks.

"Mmmmm.. oh my fuckin God princess. You okay?" He asks between tiny grunts of pleasure, his hips still slowly pumping his cock into me.

I'm not sure how he expects me to answer; my lungs feel tight and my head is so fuzzy. I fight to steady my breathing, fingers remaining inna death grip around his shoulders. I finally feel the heavy trails of make up streaking down my chest and my wavy hair sticking to my sweaty temples. I know I looked fucked out to the max.

I can't even muster energy to cover myself as my head falls limply to the right and I see a group of men staring lewdly at us through the glass walls, each with a tented bulge in their business attire.

Bruce's phone beeps at that moment and he leans over slightly to read the text aloud.

"We agree to your terms of the proposal." He says with a dazzling smile.

Yeah, I fucking bet..

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

I'm watching too much stuff. And things are not slowing down with all the things coming in September. So I'm gonna try and keep this short. As much as that's possible given the amount of shows.

QL - Currently Watching

🇹🇭 4 Minutes [6/8] - Finally some answers. I haven't read all the theories floating around about this last episode and what it means, but I'm firmly on the side of, there is another alternative timeline, probably from when Tyme is dying at the start of the show, and also very much in agreement with everything @lurkingshan wrote here that these are just imagined do-overs and nothing will actually change in the real world. Which would be my preferred way.

🇹🇭 Addicted Heroin [2/10] - Haven't watched this weeks episode yet. My review for the first two is here.

🇹🇼 First Note of Love [4/12] - I like them a lot. And I like the pacing of this. I love the intro song. But with a second couple being introduced I think I'm gonna get frustrated having to wait a week for a 20 minute episode. I felt that way a lot during Kiseki.

🇯🇵 I Hear the Sunspot [10/12] - I am annoyed.

🇹🇭 I Saw You In My Dream [7/12] - May the boyfriend era commence. I am enjoying this one. I'm guessing we still have a bit of angst coming and I'm hoping for a good explanation for the dreams.

🇯🇵 Mitsuya Sensei no Keikakutekina Ezuke [6/7] - Just such an incredible show. This week brought the pain and I'm still unwell. As if Frito getting sick wasn't heart breaking enough, that ending left me in tears. I cannot believe we only have one episode left. I am not ready to say goodbye to the three of them.

🇹🇭 Monster Next Door [6/12] - My favourite thing about this is definitely Big. His presence on screen is great. But I'm not fully connecting yet for some reason.

🇹🇭 Peaceful Property [1/10] - It's a lot of fun. Yeah, I know it's not a bl. But it's bl adjacent so it goes here. Also in my head it's gonna be a bl no matter what. Possibly even with a gl side couple. The mind is a powerful thing.

🇯🇵Sugar Dog Life [4/10] - I love Isumi. I really liked that they didn't drag the girl storyline and it served it's purpose. Isumi is now very much aware of it's feelings. I'm looking forward to the date episode.

🇯🇵 Takara No Vidro [9/11] - Takara, my love. This boy has my whole heart. I can't believe I'll have to say goodbye to then tomorrow. I'm bracing for part pain, part happy. Please Japan don't let me down.

🇹🇭 The Loyal Pin [1/16] - I'm waiting to binge.

🇹🇼 The On1y One [4/10] - This show will hurt and I will love every second of it. I really like the look of this show and how we get those little insights into Jiang at the end of the episode. The actors are doing great and I specially love Benjamin Tsang facial expressions. I'm curious to see these two together and how their dynamic will work considering their circumstances. Also, always happy to see the revolving door of cameos Taiwan always grace us with.

🇯🇵Twilight Out of Focus - It's so beautiful. I'm enjoying that we get different couples even if sometimes it feels like we could have more time with them. I like Rei/Shion a lot, but I do miss Mao and Hisashi. 🇹🇭 The Trainee [10/12] - Just to get it out if the way, the Bamhee/Judy storyline was definitely the right call and @lurkingshan was right all along. Also the way the office came together was delightful and it's great to see Pah getting everyone together and once again being the best friend ever. Now. THE OFFICE FLIRTING!!! I was losing my mind giggling like an idiot. I love them. It's pretty obvious at this point that it's mutual and of course Ryan will need to actually be told that, but I still think Jane will wait until the internship is over before confessing or starting anything official. I can't wait to watch all the interns reaction next week. I love it here.

QL - Finished

🇯🇵 Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko! - I'm disappointed in this one. It started off so strong but by the end it lost me. I love Hiroko but I feel like they betrayed the character. And that ending with the kiss in the office was ridiculous. Actually most of the end was weird in the way that it seemed to contradict what came before. I like that they finally got together but it didn't feel as good as it could've.

🇹🇭 Century of Love - Started of great and imo fell apart by the end. I don't think it was consistent all the way through and the mythology was all over the place. Daou did an amazing job though. Also Ju is one of the greatest female characters of the year.

🇯🇵 Cosmetic Playlover - Pretty show. Final thoughts here.

🇹🇭 Knock Knock, Boys! - Probably the biggest surprise of the year for me. It's great. I like the development of both couples. Even if near the end I got a tiny bit annoyed with Peak, I really liked the conclusion of it all. Latte is a great character and the very rare slut unjudged by the narrative.

🇹🇭🇨🇳 Meet You At the Blossom - Look it's great that we got a chinese bl, but this was not it for me. Let's hope this one helps get others made though.

🇹🇭Love Sea - It was fine. I enjoyed Mut but in general I just never connected to this show. And Muk annoyed me to no end. I was so happy to see Aya again and now I just wanna forget that she was ever in this and simply remember her as Yiwa.

🇹🇭 SunsetxVibes - I don't even have words. I don't know if it was my lack of attention or if it never actually made sense but I never really got what the mythology was all about apart from inspiring a truly horrendous looking necklace. I was slogging though this one and I guess the finale was fine.

🇹🇭 This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans - The sides were great, their chemistry was on point. I really wanna see them again. The mains were my favourite thing about Pit Babe but I just didn't like them here.

🇹🇭 The Rebound - I just have to accept that MeenPing will always have bad scripts. They are pretty together but this was a mess.

Dropped

🇹🇭My Love Mix-Up!

Rose Watches OJBL

Pornographer: Spring Life | Playback | Continued Spring Life Finally finished the novelist. Final thoughts.

A LOT of stuff coming this month so if you haven't checked it out, here is the post with all announced upcoming qls for September with a couple of updates that I made today.

As usual my ask box is open. Have a wonderful week💜

[these-posts-arent-real]

Clanblr dashboard simulator is back babye (part 1)

#yes i just finished part 1 #yes im already doing another one #this is really fun to me #hey btw when the follow button is "missing" it isnt missing. #that's your mutuals

0 notes

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

I miss leaf-bareeeeee... my long-haired ass CANNOT with this weather

#shorthairs please dont reblog with "actually i think the warm weather is nice" #then this post isn't for you #robbbinposts

3 notes

🔁 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

I'm trnasgender

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

Happy 6 moon anniversary to the time I butchered what was supposed to be my cool, unexpected coming-out with a spelling error

🔥 b-b-b-blaaazr Follow

At least the typo wasnt in your url dude

Also. The coming out wasnt unexpected. At all. We all knew.

#fuck you blaze #"we all knew" yeah maybe because i posted about how i wished i was a tom 10 times a day #whacking uou on the head with my manly paws

204 notes

🔁 🦁 lionsight-x3 Follow reblogged

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

Happy bday to @lionsight-x3, my beloved mutual! Cant imagine life without you

🦁 lionsight-x3 Follow

AGHJHHHH THANK YOUUU ILY SO MUCH LILY <3

#Was honestly having a TERRIBLE birthday until I saw this. #Love you so much Lilystem.

3 notes

🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow

Am I the only one who didnt know that @ex-thunderclan-kipper is a kittypet??

🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow

His whole blog, including his url, is based around the fact that he's ex-clan... how are you just now finding this out...

🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow

I just followed for the wood-scratching art..

#didnt realize he was a kittypet #:/

17 notes

🦢 gentlesong-momof17 Follow

Kits are having their apprentice ceremony tomorrow... can't believe they're all grown up. At least my next litter is due in a moon!!

#momlife #queen #leaving the nursery #mom life #nursery queen #perm queen #perm queen life #permanent queen #permanent queen life

1 note

🔁 🪺 robbbinpaw Follow reblogged

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

Im actually gonna die

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

Sorry guys forgot to specify. My assessment is tomorrow. So like. My mentor is gonna decide if I get to become a warrior or not. Im freaking out

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

Wait. Youre an apprentice still??

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

Ya? My bio says 11 moons- how old did you think I was?

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

WHAT????

I thought you were 21 moons old! Last time I read your bio was 2 days ago and I swear I thought it said 21!??

#moose ive been thinking you were 21 this whole time #cant believe youre only a moon older than me #this is surreal #robbblogs

50 notes

🌠 nightshade-tast3s-yummy Follow

Im on transblr and I keep mixing @l1llyst3m up with @carnation-stem-02... they look nothing alike and post about completely different things I think it's just the (flower)stem names

🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow

This is extra funny to me considering Lily and I actually became mutuals due to a similar mix-up (someone tagged her where they meant to tag me) but I for the life of me cannot understand how nobody takes one look at our blogs and never makes that mistake again.

🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow

To the cats in the notes saying "but you're both trans, it's confusing" guys. We arent even the same flavor of gender...

#shes transfemme #im agender #why is this even a source of confusion #we dont even go by the same pronouns..

2,702 notes

🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow

Uh... hello?? I think Im on the wrong site... what in the name of StarClan is... Tumblr...

[bellaxgiornata]

Honestly I cannot believe that I've been on tumblr for just over a year now and somehow there's already so many of you wonderful people here that are reading, enjoying, and supporting my silly little fics. When I jumped over here from AO3, I had not anticipated how much fun I was going to have getting to chat with all of y'all while also sharing my stories with those of you who aren't on AO3. I've definitely made some wonderful friends this past year because of tumblr and I just want to say thank you to everyone for the support. I always mean it when I say y'all are the reason I keep writing these stories 💖

I could certainly get sappier but instead I'll just invite y'all to join me for my first ever celebration! There's a few fun things below the cut that y'all can pop up with in my ask box starting today May 3 through Wednesday May 8! I tried to think of some interesting things that I could realistically make time to do with everything currently going on in my life, especially because I'm also still trying to stockpile rough drafts for many of my stories so that I can still have updates during my upcoming "writing hiatus" (that I'll explain more about later). My plan is to answer things as they come in and hopefully have them all finished shortly after the celebration ends. And once the celebration finally ends, I'm hoping to give y'all an update to a story or a one shot!

Hopefully this will be fun for everyone!

Let's Chat! - Feel free to send me an ask about anything at all! No, seriously. You want to tell me about your day? An upcoming vacation or exciting accomplishment of yours? Do it! Or maybe you want to ask me questions about one of my stories or my writing process? Hell, feel free to ask me about myself, chat about coffee, music, books, pets, whatever!

Discuss Headcanons with Me! - Have any headcanons about Matt Murdock, Frank Castle, or Michael Kinsella that you want to chat about or share with me? Send them in! Or are you interested in a headcanon I might have about one of them in a certain situation? Feel free to ask! We can chat about the boys!

Send Me Fake FFTD Installment Titles! - Create a title name for an installment for my Falling for the Devil series (ex. "The [insert title]") and I'll write a couple of sentences about what I could picture that installment being about! You win bonus points if you can actually stump me on coming up with a plot for your title. But also who knows, maybe some title suggestions could spark an idea for future updates...

Let's Play a Game! - We can play would you rather, have you ever, or fuck/marry/kiss (or kill). For the record, f/m/k can be with anyone from Daredevil, Punisher, Defenders, Kin, or even any of Charlie's characters that I'm familiar with (Matt, Michael, Owen, Henry, Tristan, or Adam) or those of Jon's that I'm familiar with (mainly Frank, Shane, or Julian). If you can think of another game feel free to play it with me!

Ask the Boys! - Do you enjoy my weird internal dialogues with fictional characters that probably make me sound crazy? Great! Feel free to send me an ask to either one or all of the fictional men that live in my head (Matt, Frank, and/or Mikey) and I'll relay whatever they respond with in something of a short internal dialogue!

Request a Sneak Peak! - Since I have been stockpiling quite a few WIPs and rough drafts for a couple of months now, I am open to y'all just requesting a sneak peak. If you do, I will share a snippet from a fic I choose at random from something that's either a fully finished rough draft or still a work in progress!

**You're more than welcome to participate multiple times, but all I ask is that you (1) send things in separate asks, (2) are not rude to me or anyone else, and (3) are 18+ to discuss anything spicy (this is an 18+ blog anyway so I'd hope everyone here already is).**

[sangoqueenkoko]

KAVEH

"how do you become accidentally married?" …part 2.

fluff

DENDRO MASTERLIST | DRABBLE MASTERLIST

Drabble prompt: page 1: #8 = "how do you become accidentally married?"

Warnings? Mentions of alcohol in general and of what could be blood (but it's actually red wine). Pet names mentioned (Honey, my Love).

Contains a mention of Alhaitham, slight mention of Nahida, and Kaveh of course!

1k words.

Here’s a part 2 no one asked for! @groovyparadisestarlight and @udretlnea sort of did

i wonder if this one will blow up like the first part…

‘Because he cannot remember what happened the night before.’

These are the events that lead up to the day after.

In a far corner of Lambard's Tavern sat you with a cup of the Taverns, in the words of Kaveh, “best wine one has ever tasted.” You were waiting for him to show up after a meeting with a surprisingly easy client. You would buy his drinks for him today as a treat for his good mood. As you don’t want to burden him any further than he already could be.

After you had finished a quarter of your first glass — as you didn’t want too drink to much before the occasion had even begun — Kaveh came bursting in, luckily it wasn’t so crowded just yet. So he didn’t disturb many people with his sudden appearance. Many.

He looked around the main room before spotting you and quickly making his way over, “(Y/N)! Great! You’re here!” He smiled as he sat opposite you. After he gave you a kiss on the cheek though. It was always a sweet gesture from him to you.

And him to you, only.

Anyway.

“So how was the meeting with the client?” You asked as you rested your chin on the back of your hand, gazing across the table at him. The question only made him more… happier than he was a literal second ago.

“Oh, right! Well, the client loved what I had in mind! He said that what I had thought and designed what exactly what he had in mind too! We saw eye to eye,” He exclaimed with a genuine grin before taking a quick sip of wine from the cup that you had poured for him, “and get this. He also said that he will help with most of the cost of it!! Can you believe it?!” He stood up with his hands on the table. You were genuinely happy for him, it’s the happiest you’ve seen him in a while.

“Wow! That’s great, Honey! And I am glad to see that smile of yours again.”

As the day went on, you ordered a few more drinks and a meal because why not? It’s a good occasion. More people came in and went. Locals and travellers. Speaking of travellers, a travelling bard from Mondstadt made a pit stop in Sumeru and tried playing their music, which was a hit. It was much different to what locals in Sumeru are accustomed to.

Faster pace, more upbeat, more… joyous. Lively. Something that was worth dancing to.

Evening came and the bard was back, they brought more people off the streets inside to dance. As that’s what a lot of people were doing already. Singing local songs and ones from other nations.

At this point, the two of you were a little drunk, ones with the vibes. It was the end of the week, so it was so worth it.

“Care to dance with me, m’dear?” Kaveh asked as he stood and offered a hand to you with a bow, the other behind his back. Looking into his eyes you would see the same kind, caring being he is, the only difference was that you saw more love and adoration in his eyes for you. You and only you.

“Of course, my Love!” You smiled as you held his hand and stood up.

The evening was… a bizarre blur. A lot of drinks, like different types of wine. Lots of singing with everyone in the tavern, and of course dancing. You vividly being on top of a table with Kaveh, and him spinning you around at some point. Though the owners didn’t do anything about it, I’m assuming that they didn’t mine it. Everyone had fun.

A little too much fun to be honest, to the point that The Corps of Thirty came in and closed down the tavern for the night as it was even quite loud and the sounds where quite brash on the main high street itself. Disrupting the peace.

But even after that, neither you or Kaveh wanted to go home. Even if it was best because of how drunk you two were.

But somehow, the pair of you traversed to the Sanctuary of Surasthana, and made it in one peace, where the Lesser Lord herself would be. During the nights, she would occasionally walk around the city to appreciate it in peace, and you so happened to come across her here.

Kaveh spoke to her and had the idea to ask her to officiate something and be the key witness for the occasion. And of course she agreed. Upon her asking what it was, Kaveh would say, in a heartbeat – yet drunkenly confident – “I want to marry this lovely being here” he pulled you closer, “(Y/N). (M/N). (L/N). The love of my life!”

She didn’t care what time it was, neither did you two.

The Lesser Lord herself, and the guards, served as your witnesses.

It wasn’t exactly how someone would want to be married, but to be married by a God herself? You better count that as a blessing for a bright future.

But the Goddess didn’t want something happening to the newly weds as you made you ways back down from the Sanctuary. So she escorted you both herself back home.

She granted you the sweetest of dreams for that night, and she knew that neither of you would regret the decision. Even she knew how close you two were.

It was about 2am when you got back to Kaveh’s shared house with Alhaitham. And surprisingly, you didn’t wake him up. Even if he sleeps like dead weight.

You stumbled onto the bed first, then did Kaveh. No type of intimacy was shared, apart from some loving words and light kisses. All before you both passed out asleep.

Let’s forget the red wine stains and glasses in the living room for now.

Just how will you explain this to Alhaitham later on?

So this is how you become accidentally married.

I ran out of steam towards the end. Sorry.

[gremlinmodetweeker]

Silly Games for Silly People

Okay so I asked for some ideas for the big boy, and in particular Summoned!König. I got some great ideas from @callofdreams and so I hope they enjoy this! I am definitely taking more of their ideas for this series, and so we might have a few of Summoned!König playing some board games. I didn't play many board games as a kid, but I do have fun writing this. I am still taking ideas for Summoned!König, so please let me know any ideas you have!

CW: none

Wordcount: 1.4k

Art from This Post

Story below the cut

Silly Games for Silly People

You glared at the eldritch monstrosity across the table, your breath baited as your hands tightened together. He glared back at you, arctic blue eyes mere slits behind his dark hood. He leaned in close, analyzing your every move. You did just the same.

“Just roll the dice, König!” you finally snapped.

“And how do I know this is not mortal trickery?” König scoffed, “you truly believe that I am unaware of your inner machinations? That I am not leagues ahead of you in every possible way? You cannot possibly begin to compete with the likes of me.”

“Oh yeah? You really think you’re all that and a bag of chips, don’t ya?” you grabbed the dice and shoved them into his talons.

“Have you never heard of the concept of ‘patience’?” König snorted as he shook his palm.

“Have you heard the concept of ‘sore loser’?” you retorted.

König raised an eyebrow.

“It means you’re being a bitch because you’re losing,” you explained with a smug smile.

König bristled and tossed the dice. He glanced over the numbers, promptly slamming his fist on the table with enough force to shake all the pieces of the game.

“Oh yeah, look who’s all high and mighty now, huh?” you grinned as he slid his token back over to one corner of the board.

“Petulant worm,” he muttered under his breath as he leaned back into the folding chair that was only barely supporting his weight.

“I think you just don’t wanna admit that I’m better than you,” you snickered as you finished another lap of the board and collected your cash.

“I could eviscerate you,” König huffed, “and yet you mock me over some mindless board game, the only way you could possibly even try to leverage any power over me.”

“I think you’re just mad I’m better,” you gave him a cheshire grin.

You grabbed the dice and rolled them out on the table. The dice rolled a clean five and a four, just enough to get you to that final spot you wanted.

“Alright, hand over Pennsylvania Avenue,” you held out a waiting hand.

König grumbled bitterly, but thankfully he passed over the square of cardboard with a disgruntled flick of his wrist.

“Wow,” you laughed as you tucked the squares down in front of you,” you’re actually upset about this, aren’t you?”

“I am not upset by some inferior construction of human hands,” König sniffed, “I am merely astounded by the arrogance you exude.”

“Arrogance?” you scoffed, “au contraire, my friend! I think I’m creaming you this game.”

König glared at you from behind his mask. You were fairly certain that he wanted to strangle you that moment. You were only more and more excited by how upset he was.

König silently rolled the dice on his side of the table. The both of you hissed when one red die rolled over the edge of the table.

“Cocked,” you called out as you grabbed it back.

When you brought it back to König, he seemed positively peeved by you.

“What?” you handed the dice back to him,

“That was a six,” he huffed, “I needed a six to get out of jail.”

“Okay but it rolled off the table,” you pointed out, “when a die hits something on the table or rolls off it, it’s cocked and you need to reroll it.”

“And who taught you that inane ruling?” König drummed his claws against the laminated wood table.

“I dunno,” you shrugged as you sat back down, “it’s just something my DnD group taught me.”

“DnD?” König perked up, “what game is that?”

“Uh…” you looked down at the monopoly board and back up at your eldritch partner, “okay so, we’re struggling trying to play Monopoly, you’re not ready for DnD.”

“I could just read a mortal’s mind and get a good grasp,” König countered.

“Okay but, like, that would be their version of DnD,” you explained, “DnD is different for everyone. And you are not ready for DnD yet.”

König looked back down at the Monopoly board with disdain, “I want to move on from this one.”

“So are you admitting defeat?” you grinned.

“I would never deign to do such a thing, Summoner,” König snorted, “I am simply stating an opinion. Is that such a unfathomable concept?”

“Well, when you’re complaining about Monopoly, it’s kinda funny,” you pointed out.

König grumbled under his breath as he rolled the other die, blatantly ignoring whatever you wanted to say.

“Hey look! A six!” you cheered as the die flopped onto the center of the board.

“Finally!” König exclaimed as he slumped back into his chair with a groan.

“Hey hey hey watch it with the weight there, big guy,” you snapped, “I don’t wanna have to pay for another chair.”

“Did they actually deduct the past one from your pay?” König eased himself up off the backrest again.

“Yes!?” you laughed, “they took out all of them!”

At the very least, König had the decency to look sheepish about the matter as he steepled his fingers together on the table, “I see.”

“You see? Yeah I sure saw it coming out of my paystub!” you laughed.

König cringed into himself, but politely moved on to ask, “Well, who’s turn is it?”

“Um…” you looked down at the table, “I actually don’t remember. You do, don’t you?”

“I see no reason to try and clarify,” König’s eyes glinted with amusement.

You, on the other hand, were as far removed from any sense of amusement as you could have possibly been.

“No seriously, König, who’s turn is it?” you asked again.

“Why should it matter?” König shrugged, “is this not a simple game?”

“Yeah but, like, I don’t wanna be rude and take your turn or anything,” you tried to reason with him, but he was persistent. After a bit of back and forth, you finally relented. König was content to lean onto the table as you tried to get him to budge, but as it was, trying to get an avatar of chaos to play by the rules was next to impossible. Instead, you had to be creative.

“Alright, let’s play rock paper scissors to see who’s turn it is,” you determined.

“Rock paper scissors?” König tilted his head like a cat, “tell me, what is that?”

“It’s a game where you kinda, I dunno,” you patted your fist against your open palm, “you make your hand either a rock,” you held up a fist, “a pair of scissors,” you extended two fingers, “or paper,” you held out your palm. You extended your fist and held it up, “you say ‘Rock, paper, scissors,’ and the next time you put your fist on your palm you make the sign you want. Rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper, paper beats rock. Whoever wins gets the next turn. Wanna try?”

König held up one taloned hand and watched the lamp light glint off his black iridescent scales, then locked eyes with you, “It sounds rather simple. I think I can manage a round.”

And so, you both extended a fist and chanted, “Rock, paper, scissors!” and extended your hand.

You let your fist drop in horror.

“König that’s not what you’re meant to do.”

König frowned, “Aren’t I meant to make my fist look like the object?”

“König you’re meant to do the hand sign. Not… Not that,” you cringed as you heard his bones snap back into place.

“I apologize.”

“Wanna try again?”

“Seeing as my first attempt left much to be desired, I see a great need for another,” König mused.

“Alright!”

You chanted again and extended your fist. König, on the other hand, held out an open palm.

You glared at him and thinned your lips into a line, “Alright, best two out of three.”

“Vas!?” König scoffed, “are you telling me that we need to play again?”

“Just to be sure!” you huffed, eying the red and white dice hungrily.

König clucked his tongue and made a trill that sounded like bubbles rushing to the surface, but he held out his fist again.

“Go ahead Summoner, see how well this works out for you.”

You learned quickly that trying to win a game of chance against an avatar of chaos was, sadly, not as easy as you hoped.

Konig Dump

Alternate Universe Stories

[swampstew]

UNI REVERSE I LOVE U

Fic authors self rec! When you receive this, reply with up to five favorite fics you've written (include links, and if you want- a few thoughts about each one), then pass on to at least five other writers if you're up for it. Spread the self-love ✨

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAndie! I can't believe you've done this. Well, I did one version of this where I talked about my pretty much all my fics - however, this will go a little more detailed with other things I've done :)

Captain Kid's Fiery Passion - !Yandere Kid. I really enjoyed exploring a darker, crueler Kid that would take reader with no hesitation. I know I only scratched the surface of 'dark fic' with this one, but part of me is entirely too hung up on Kid being an actual cinnamon roll to his beloved that I can't really imagine him being mean mean. That doesn't mean the inspiration isn't there. I have plenty of questionable scenarios I'd like to write out, and my only fear is accidentally triggering myself XD

Spoiling Killer - this is my guilty pleasure. Subjecting my comfort characters to simple pleasures. I can't help writing rottingly fluffy stuff. It's my nature. And I'll do it again too. I won't stop until every crew member is given the pampering they deserve.

Meet the Kid Pirates series - Heat the HR Director and emotional support human! - We know SO LITTLE about this crew and their roles so I decided to make up roles and titles. IF we ever get canonized information, I will update these. However, this was meant to just be fun head canonning :) I was going to do every crew member but after...THAT...chapter, I was too depressed to continue. Still kinda am. BUT FRET NOT - I DO INTEND TO FINISH THIS! and also do the Straw Hats section. In time in time.

Ok, I know I said I was gonna limit this to the drabbles, BUT I JUST REMEMBERED, I also have a WIP book that's part of the What's the Magic Word? universe. Rowena's Future Vision! This is gonna be composed of just drabbles, thoughts, and ramblings of things I wanna see for my ship. Nothing is canonized until its written in the official book(s). This is my sacred space for adding more to Rowena's lore, her relationships with Kid and the world around them. It can kiiiinda be spoilery if you're not caught up to the main fic. Inspired by @abysscronica 's standalone fic "Emperors (dad!Kid x mom!Reader)" which is SOFCKING GOOD but also gave me the courage to write beyond my main fic and explore other themes and tropes that would not otherwise fit in WTMW? NGL I'm inspired to do a Stampede book too cause my mind literally cannot shutthefuckup about Kid and Rowena and making Kid stressed about showing off that he's a better Captain than Luffy, but I have too much on my plate already. I hope that's not stepping on your toes Abyss!!!!!

Ending on a collaborative note, it was a DELIGHT AND HONOR to host this collection of stories for Halloween 2023 with some of my dear moots. SUPER SECRET HALLOWEEN PROJECT was so much fun from conception to execution. I had so much fun envisioning the theme, and hearing from my friends how much they enjoyed being able to do something low-pressure and just for funsies. Plus being able to include fandom by voting on the best costume was really cool - and I'll take any excuse to commission @yamiyamiart ;) Shoutout to my crew: @quinloki @zoros-sheath @sanjis-all-blue @writing-yarn-goblin @icy-spicy @mewiyev @bulle-d-bulliver @leakyweep

[oodlyenough]

oblig dual destinies post

i finished the base game of dual destinies today, as in, everything but the dlc case. but the dlc case i assume is kind of a, er, side adventure that won't change much about my opinion of the main narrative, so here we go. spoilers for the first 5 cases

well that wasn't very good was it

things i did like

number one top spot MVP honourable mention goes to aura blackquill. aura is a great character, extremely my type of character, and her story was pretty interesting. every time aura was on screen i was having a good time. i cannot believe they hid the best, canon ace attorney toxic yuri in its worst game (that i've played so far). obviously wish we saw more of aura, more of aurametis, and more of aura with athena, but what we did get was honestly pretty good and much, much more explicit than i ever expected this franchise to get. i am a dog being tricked into taking a pill because it was hidden in a spoon of peanut butter.

i also liked athena. i was predisposed to like her because all the major female characters in this franchise start with a buff for me, but i did think her over the top exuberant competitive go-getter attitude coupled with the PTSD flashback sprites were a pretty good combo. i think she was unequivocally the star of this game, and i think we should have played her for a lot more of it. her power is goofy as all hell and mood matrix isn't a great minigame, but, well, uh, it's dual destinies i have to adjust my expectations somewhere.

i like that phoenix got his badge back. i can critique all the ways it played out, because you can critique just about everything in this game to the moon(rock) and back, but like. fundamentally. i like this choice and i'm glad it happened. i also like that we got to see edgeworth and pearl and got a letter from maya. it seems obvious this is the franchise trying to course correct after a rough reception to aa4, but frankly i don't really care, because i do think aa4 fucked up there. i liked aa4 and i think it was a better game than this; i also think it's quite a bummer of a game and in many places a middle finger to fans of the trilogy, so, i'll take the olive branches DD is offering me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

fullbright started off annoying to me but i did warm to him. there's one bit in case 3 where he and athena just cheer "in justice we trust!!!" back and forth that made me laugh. i thought the idea of the big bad being the friendly cop was pretty good. more on that later.

turnabout academy was dumb as hell (affectionate) and i liked it and the npcs were mostly really fun and/or funny. i love you aa5 klavier you hot washed up mess. somehow dual destinies made me more invested in klavier than aa4 did.

things i did not like

where do i start

jk, actually, the first place to start is Why The Hell Can't I Play This Game. writing and characterization and everything aside, this game is SO disinterested in being a game. i can't click stuff. characters autonomously solve puzzles on my behalf without even giving me a second to think of them. the minigames are reduced. investigation days are dull because i can't click anything. it weakens the characterization of the player and the companion character because you don't get their inane chatter. characters don't react to evidence being presented in interesting ways.

the attention to detail and love that went in to so many facets of the trilogy that made it so beloved are just not present here. i don't know what the issue was, rushed dev time or what was going on, but the wrong corners were cut. i made a separate post aout this example because it's so galling: in 1-4 if you try to present the photo of gregory's body to edgeworth, you get custom dialogue where maya intervenes and tells phoenix off for trying to show miles his dead dad. in 5-5 if you present photos of aura's murder to athena she reacts with the same generic disinterest dialogue she gives every other piece of evidence.

the characterization of the returning characters, ie not the ones new to dual destinies like athena and co, is at best watered down and one-note, and at worst out of character. i said i was happy to see edgeworth, and i stand by that overall; but his behaviour in the trial in 5-5 is like madlib edgeworth dialogue, half-hearted fanfic rather than anything to convince you it's a character who lived through the trilogy. phoenix is dumbed down and it's particularly noticeable coming off of aa4, where NPC phoenix was a fucking galaxybrained 5D chess puppeteer who was always one step ahead of everyone, and now he's like, incapable of making basic deductions. all dual destinies phoenix knows is eat hot chip be bisexual and bluff. boring, weak writing. he barely even reacts to trucy being kidnapped. perhaps because trucy is no longer a character and instead is just one extended "teen girl says the word panties" joke.

apollo... lmao... i hate to say it but i don't think apollo should've been in this game. i think his fans would be right to say that he deserved a sequel and that was what was set up by aa4, but all he does in this game is compete for the spotlight with athena, and lose. athena's story is the main story of this game and it is hindered by the detours DD has to take to include apollo; apollo, meanwhile, doesn't even really get anything of substance. we see him mourn a friend we never met and go off on a sidequest we don't partake in. the rift between the WAA would be really interesting if they... wrote it better, or let it sit longer, or let any character react to it for longer than ten seconds.

which gets to the most frustrating thing about this game: there are a lot of pretty good ideas here, hidden under layers of uninteractive "gameplay" and clunky writing that misses its emotional beats. the dark age of the law is a hilarious term but the justice system in AA IS super mega fucked up and that's a fine subject for the game to tackle, until they start pretending it's somehow *new* and that for some reason a prosecutor being convicted of murder was the final straw (ignore all the OTHER prosecutors who were convicted of murder in the golden age). the finale case you can practically FEEL capcom breathing down its shoulder, desperate to right the ship of the IP, scrambling to put together pieces that worked in the past.

but despite athena's backstory being probably the most compelling part of the game, it's hard to shake the feeling that we're getting a remix of turnabout goodbyes, except, well, worse. and that feeling is exacerbated by phoenix and edgeworth, who lived that case, never having or expressing any feelings to suggest they ... lived that case. on paper, edgeworth prosecuting a child who killed a parent by mistake is really interesting! but DD doesn't do anything with it. i actually really like fullbright being the phantom, and if i hadn't been spoiled by fandom, i think i would've been surprised. but that twist is undermined by the reveal that actually the character we knew was ... um... an amorphous shapeshifting blob with no independent identity, there's no sense of real betrayal between him and blackquill bc he's not a real person and blackquill was lying about trusting him so like ... who cares...

in conclusion

i see a lot of the shared DNA with investigations 1, and i have a lot of the same complaints. fun new characters, albeit underwritten; disappointing characterization from returning characters; in aai i found the puzzles frustrating, whereas here they felt nonexistent. at least aai1 had really cute pixel art and let me click stuff, though. shrek meme they don't even have investigating.

i am saying aai1, because i haven't played aai2 yet, and fandom swears up and down it's way better. but i have to be honest. what are the odds that of the four ace attorney games this guy wrote, three of them suck and one is a banger... i guess i'll find out in september when the port comes out :P or maybe when i play SOJ next i'll love it too. stay tuned

[yuri-is-online]

You Simple Vile Monstrosity: Rook and the Flowers of Evil

My other two dumb history posts have at least a semblance of fun fact to them, but this is mostly going to be literary analysis and some theory. There's some interesting stuff here sure, but I don't really think it adds much to the overall landscape of twst theories. But it does make Rook make more sense to me so I am making this post anyway.

So without further ado, if you are like me and enjoy reading twst theories, you might know that the beginning lines of Twisted Wonderland are something we have been debating the meaning of since the game came out really. While I think we have been closing in on their true meaning as Chapter 7 progresses along, the phrase "Flowers of Evil" can actually refer to something specific: a french poetry collection of the same name (Les Fleurs du mal in french) by a poet name Charles Baudelaire originally published in 1857. The collection was extremely controversial, but today it is highly lauded and has inspired several other literary works, including a manga series by Shūzō Oshimi of the same name. I found out about the poetry collection while working on this request and finally finished reading it... and another essay by Baudelaire for reasons we can talk about later on in the post. For now let's talk poetry.

Beauté! 100 Points!

I don't speak french, so I read an English translation done by Aaron Poochigian that does contain the original french text in the back half of the book. The Flowers of Evil is split into seven-ish parts: The Flowers of Evil (just containing "To the Reader"), Spleen and the Ideal, Parisian Scenes, Wine, Flowers of Evil (again but with 12 poems this time), Revolt, and then Death. The sections are more or less organized by the subject of the poems, Spleen and the Ideal is the largest with Baudelaire musing over what the ideal concept of beauty is while Wine deals with getting drunk (on wine mostly if you can believe it.) One of the things that jumps out very quickly about Baudelaire's work is that his concept of beauty is almost synonymous with his concept of evil. He writes a lot about maggots eating corpses, about decay, he has a few poems that talk about vampires appearing to be the highest form of beauty but really being husks of rotted flesh; it's all very much about this acceptance that evil is a part of life and human nature, so therefore there must be beauty in it. The concept of "ideal beauty" must by it's nature be divorced from the concept of "morality." When Rook talks about the potential for Leona or Malleus to kill him and how beautiful that would be, I think he means the act of destruction itself would be beautiful. The circumstances surrounding it and the consequences of it are irrelevant to the concept; this is also why while he initially says he cannot find the crimson lotuses in GloMas beautiful Deuce accuses him of doing just that after everything is said and done. He cannot find beauty in Rollo's actions, but the visual and the fight are beautiful because of the effort he and the other students put in to stop them. And perhaps most importantly, it's why he is willing to drink Vil's poison and look upon what is supposedly ultimate ugliness and say "In this moment you are the fairest of them all." Because how could an act born out of such raw and genuine emotion be anything but?

Le Chasseur D'Armour, The Hunter of Love

Baudelaire wasn't just a poet, he fancied himself a critic and wrote multiple essays, the one I read for this post is The Painter of Modern Life. Which is actually a collection of several but they are all related, and I was directed to them by this wordpress post. In it, Baudelaire muses over how things can be both beautiful and ugly, and why:

"Beauty is made up of an eternal, invariable element, whose quantity it is excessively difficult to determine, and of a relative, circumstantial element... which severally or all at once, the age, its fashions, its morals, its emotions."

He was talking about fashion plates that depicted outdated costumes, but his point was more or less that if you strictly look at the design of the costume they look ridiculous: ugly. But when you take into account their historical value (these particular plates were all from the around the time of the French revolution) they become exceedingly important: beautiful. He also mentions in this same essay the importance of not just taking into account the opinions of so called "masters" and sneers at people who think they understand what is beautiful just because they have seen a painting done by a professional:

"... to declare that Raphael, or Racine, does not contain the whole secret, and that minor poets too have something good, solid and delightful to offer... that we might love general beauty, as it is expressed by classical poets and artists, we are no less wrong to neglect particular beauty, the beauty of circumstance and the sketch of manners."

In chapter 5, while helping Vil judge the auditions for VDC, Rook gives every audition 100 points because, well, in his mind they are all an example of perfect beauty specifically because they are the work of amateurs, and that is no less valuable to him or less worthy of praise that the work of the master. Now granted he clearly does value professional quality (he did have reasons for voting for Neige other than being a massive simp. Valid ones even if loosing does sting) but that's only in the context of strict rules and guidelines. When Rook is asked for his opinion, while he certainly does believe there is an absolute, academic definition beauty, he doesn't place any value on where that beauty comes from. Baudelaire muses over how human life "accidentally" puts mysterious beauty into the world, and the true appreciator of beauty must make himself not strictly a poet but:

"...an observer of life, and only later set himself the task of acquiring the means of expressing it... For most of us... the fantastic reality of life has become singularly diluted. [But he] never ceases to drink it in; his eyes and memories are full of it."

I strongly dislike suggesting in these posts that xyz is "the definitive reason" for why a character acts the way that he does, but I do think it is very interesting how well this describes Rook's ethos. He thinks of himself as a hunter, but in order to do that he needs to observe. Sure he takes it to exceptionally extreme lengths, but it makes him one of the most lively members of the NRC cast. Baudelaire is right, there are a million things about life we miss on a day to day basis wherein true beauty lies, but Rook sees all of it. His eyes, memories, camera, and secret photo albums are fit to burst with it.

My Noble and Beautiful Flower of Evil

I mentioned the opening text at the beginning of this post, and I stand by my interpretation that the phrase "flower of evil" it uses likely is not a specific reference to any of the poems themselves... beyond the obvious note that it is a collection of poems about finding beauty in, well, evil and most of the characters are based off of villains.

But there was something that started gnawing at me when I read the introduction to my translation, which was written by a poet named Dana Gioia. It was a very well written summary of Baudelaire's life and the significance of his work, but it mentioned a connection that I have seen brought up in twst theorizing before: Edgar Allen Poe.

You see, Baudelaire was obsessed with Poe. To the point that (according to the introduction) "He considered Poe a sacred martyr for art and referred to him as 'Saint Edgar.' In his morning devotions, Baudelaire prayed first to God and then to Poe."

I have nothing to say on that (because really what could you) but the point that Gioia wanted to make in that introduction was that Poe had a massive influence on Baudelaire's writing style. He wrote multiple essays on his work and translated them into French because he felt like Poe deserved the recognition, so while Gioia used this to argue that Poe's influence on Baudelaire shouldn't be underestimated...

I can't find the post, but someone was talking about how Malleus's mother's name Meleanor is very similar to "Lenore" and I recall people sort of brushing that connection off. I don't that name is a coincidence. I think the poem "Lenore" might very well have been something thought about when constructing her character, and that the themes in Poe's work might be very relevant to the overall story of Twisted Wonderland.

Something about ravens and telltale hearts just feels like they fit; maybe we have got it all wrong and Yuu's visions aren't coming from the mirror in Ramshackle, but the floorboards.

Semi- Unrelated Fun Facts:

If you read the name Baudelaire and thought to yourself it sounded familiar, you might have be thinking of the Baudelaire children from A Series of Unfortunate Events. This isn't exactly a coincidence as the author of the series admits to his writing being heavily influenced by Charles Baudelaire to the point he actually wrote the afterword to the translation I own.

Dana Gioia is the former Poet Laureate of the state of California, something that deeply confused me. Apparently the Governor of California appoints someone to a 2 year term and they travel around the state to promote poetry and literacy which is apparently something that 46/50 U.S. states and D.C. does to????

My glorious motherland of Pennsylvania is not one of these states, apparently we only ever appointed one, then eliminated the position entirely after he retired, and then started just. Handing out ones to people in individual cities and counties. Which is so par for the course here I don't know why I am surprised.

One of the first things any college level literature course will try to drill into you is that you don't examine the life of an author when examining their work. It might sound silly, but I think Baudelaire is a great example of why that's important. The man was addicted to drugs and sex, refused to get a "real job", lived off his inheritance from his wealthy father and eventually whatever money he could convince his mother to send him his entire adult life, and had her use her political connections to bail him out of legal trouble multiple times.

If I thought too hard about that it would make his lines in "Skeleton Laborers" (Nothingness is treacherous.//Even Death is a deceiver.//Alas, forever and ever,//work may be awaiting us) fall terribly flat, which I think does them a disservice. The man was very talented and I am glad he wrote them because I felt very seen when I read them.

Baudelaire opened his publication with a note to the reader, but he made it a full poem entitled "To the Reader." I liked the ending stanza so much I used a version of it to title my blog, and eventually my current masterlist: (Boredom! Moist-eyed, he dreams, while pulling on//a hookah pipe, of guillotine-cleft necks.//You, reader, know this tender freak of freaks-//hypocrite reader-mirror-man-mytwin!)

Likewise the title of this post is also taken from part of a poem, "Hymn to Beauty" (Beauty, you simple, vile monstrosity,//I cannot care about your origin,//provided that your gaze, smile, feet show me//a sweet infinity I have never known.) I think that fits Rook's ideals rather well, don't you?

[cat3ch1sm]

Hello! Hope you're doing well! This is my first time requesting, so here goes:

Could you please write headcanons for Agni, Soma, and Pavitr finding out that reader is learning Hindi and then helping them practice and encouraging them? I know Pav is from a different source media, so if you're not okay with that, just Soma and Agni is more than okay, I'll be happy just the same ^^

Thanks a lot ♡

🏹~ this is such a cute request! no worries if your request features different characters from different medias, it doesn’t matter to me! i will happily write it nonetheless. thanks for your request, @bell-of-indecision , and your patience as well as your support. ily 💚 to my other readers, your requests are in the works! <33

●∘◦❀◦∘● gn!reader

𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐢, 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐚, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐫 + 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢 💚

𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐢

agni is thrilled to find out that you want to learn hindi. he takes a lot of pride in his language and his culture, so when he discovers that you want to engage in it as well, he is happy to share it with you.

however, he’s a serious teacher. agni takes your education seriously, like it’s an actual class. even though you just wanted to learn hindi for fun and mostly to make him happy, agni makes sure you’re disciplined in learning it. you have lessons almost every day without fail, and he assigns you little quizzes and gives you homework assignments every day as well. you even have tests for agni to assess your knowledge so he knows exactly what to correct you on. truthfully it is exhausting, but agni doesn’t believe in letting you quit. you said you wanted to learn Hindi so damn it he’s going to make sure you do.

agni is just as gentle as he is strict, though. whenever you mess something up he quickly cuts you off and points out your mistake, and will carefully explain why it’s wrong and what the correct answer is. he isn’t like those teachers who snap at you for getting things wrong. whenever you pass a test he gives you, he’ll think of little rewards for you to receive later in order to keep you motivated. agni also emphasizes the importance of getting proper rest, so even if he has given you assignments, if you don’t finish them he doesn’t force you to stay up if you’re tired or sick. if you bring him an unfinished assignment the next lesson, agni will simply go through whatever you didn’t finish with you. agni is really encouraging as well, and whenever you get frustrated he’s quick to cheer you up and remind you of your goal.

𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐚

soma thinks it’s really sweet that you want to learn Hindi, and volunteers immediately to help you learn! is it an excuse to show of something that he finally does better than you? perhaps… but it also an excuse to spend more time with you? maaaaaybe…

unfortunately, he’s a seventeen-year-old kid who turns out to not be the best teacher. soma’s method of teaching you is literally just speaking fluent hindi and making exaggerated gestures to you- more like at you- and somehow expecting you to figure out what he’s saying. also, he gets kind of frustrated easily- he definitely doesn’t have the same level of patience as agni does, but he has twice the ego- so most of your ‘lessons’ with him go along these lines:

“*insert soma speaking fluent hindi*”

“soma, i have no idea what you’re saying.”

*cue flabbergasted look from soma* “what do you mean? i made gestures in order to show to you what i meant.”

“i… don’t think that’s how that works. i just started learning, soma. how about you look at the books i’m studying and see if you can help me with the lessons the book gives me?”

*slightly annoyed expression from soma* “but i am the one who fluently speaks hindi. this book cannot speak at all!” *dramatically closes book* “if you simply listen and pay attention closely, i am sure you will soon be as good as i am.”

“but you were born in india. you’ve been speaking hindi since birth. i can’t possibly reach your level that quickly… i don’t see why you can’t just help me with the book that starts with the basics-”

“oh! then why do i even bother?” *dramatically stands up* “i see you have chosen a mere book over your dearly beloved friend. so be it, my friend- so be it.” (imagine him delivering this as if he was some soap opera character who just was betrayed. yeah, he’s really over the top.)

eventually agni steps in and convinces a sulking soma that he needs to be more patient with you because you’re no expert- and more importantly set aside his ego. soma will realize the error in his ways and again decide to help teach you. of course, something similar to the above conversation usually takes place during your lessons in the beginning, but every time soma gets more patient. soon he’s actually pretty good at teaching you, and soma realizes that he genuinely enjoys watching you progress in your learning. he’s also super thrilled whenever you translate something correctly or memorize words right. the amount of impatience he had earlier is the same amount of pride he feels whenever he successfully teaches you something. you guys both start to genuinely look forward to hindi lessons together.

𝐩𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐫

pavitr, like the other two, is happy to hear that you’re interested in learning his native language, and he’s quick to volunteer as your teacher. although to be honest, he isn’t the most patient either. he tries, he really does, and it’s not like he gets genuinely mad or anything, but why would you say chai tea when it’s literally just chai that’s like saying tea tea like what the fuck man

alright, i swear that’s the only time i’ll make a chai tea joke because it physically pains me how much the atsv fandom dickrides that damn joke. but anyways pavitr is a genuinely good teacher besides the slight lack of patience. but it is slight. he’s really encouraging and makes sure you don’t get down on yourself when you make a mistake. pav is insistent, though, that you don’t miss any lessons. his schedule is already unpredictable, but he knows that you are serious about learning hindi and he wants to help you achieve that goal. so pav wants you to show up to your lessons that he schedules because he isn’t sure of when he can schedule another one.

although here’s something funny that i totally think pav would do: if you’re both spider-people on a mission together, he’ll give you quizzes on what you’ve studied with him so far as you guys are literally like swinging in the air above literal skyscrapers and flying over hundreds of people. just imagine this:

*whizzing by you* “hey, y/n! quick- what’s hello and goodbye in Hindi?”

*flipping in the air* “namaste!”

*running up a building* “very good! now what’s good morning in hindi?”

*running right behind pav* “shub prabhat?”

“great!” *throws himself off building and glides through the air* “now what is ‘phir melenge’ in english?”

*shooting webs onto walls, almost misses one* “shit! um, is it see you later?”

“careful with the webs!” *flying through the air* “and what’s tea in hindi?”

“…chai.” (okay that’s the last time ever i swear.)

“you’ve got it now!”

[cringefail-hermitry]

I've been wanting to make a post like this for a while now, and well, having just finished a crucial stage of my life, I think this is a good a time as any.

It's gonna be a long one

Like, *LONG* long

Like, I Am Going To Mention Every Single One Of My Mutuals By Name long (if you'd rather not be tagged in the future, do warn me)

First of all, the primary purpose of this post is as a letter of thanks for the wonderful months you Tumblr peeps have provided me this year. I am not hesitant to say joining the hellsite was the single best decision I have made in the last 12 months, heck, I think about 2/3rds of the friends I mantain regular contact with nowadays came from here. But this wouldn't be a long post if it was just a brief "thanks y'all for improving my life". I'm gonna get into detail. And I'm gonna be sappy about it. You can't stop me. You're not my mother. And not even my mother could stop me from posting this.

I would've said "I thought long and hard about who I'd start with", if there was any question about it. There isn't. @tearychildren, where do I even fucking begin. I can't really say anything too specific because if I begin I don't think I'll stop and half this post is gonna be about you, and this is already a very long post, so I'm just going to leave it at this, you already know well enough just how much you matter to me.

Going onwards, another of the early spots goes to who I believe was my first mutual, definitely one of the first people I followed, @chlorohexidine, a long-time mutual and recent good friend, our daily chats, however short, never cease to be highlights of my days, your art is really cute (love me some rounded shapes) and brainstorming ideas for your TTRPG campaigns is always fun (I really like your worldbuilding, too). It's only fair to mention your (and my, just needed to make this segue well) good friend @xsenpi, infodumping touhou to you both genuinely got me through that month, and Undertale 2: Revenge of The Robots with Rei and TC has been a blast so far.

@soundsofastar is another that warrants special mention for actually changing my brain chemistry and making me appreciate the local wildlife even more than usual (if we ever meet in person, WE ARE GOING ON A NICE LONG WALK TO LOOK AT BIRDS TOGETHER, WHEREVER IT IS WE ARE WHEN THAT HAPPENS, MARK MY WORDS). Your art also makes me feel things. Not many things make me feel stuff a lot. That is impressive. I should be in a good spot to finish reading the Illuminae Files within the next few days, so please do pester me about it, otherwise the piece of media that the next person I'll talk about recommended to me will consume all the time I'd read it in.

So, the next person I'll talk about, @northwest-cryptid, thanks for letting me use our DMs as my Mabinotepad, and for getting me into Mabinogi in the first place, you've been both the direct and the indirect cause of many good times, and I gotta be honest I kinda admire you a lil' bit (and if you know anything about how I talk, I am horrible at expressing vulnerability, admiration and these sorts of emotions without a bunch of euphemisms unless I'm doing this sort of tangent where I attempt to talk about myself in a more depersonalized way, so what that sentence there essentially means is "I admire you a lot and you are an inspiration").

Another pivotal figure in how this year shaped out is @ratlesshonret, creator of The Bird Nest, site of many good times, who has exposed me and many others to some wonderful media (I AM GOING TO FINISH POCKET MIRROR SOMETIME, MARK MY WORDS), reading through all the chats in the server is usually a blast, too. Your contributions to my life cannot be understated. Seriously, thanks.

The next great friend I'll mention is @transgender-lea-crosscode, we've started talking more only recently, but have already bonded a fair bit, I reckon, damn you're good at Blazblue. You've dared to make me good at the game and for that, I commend you. You should say words about Zeroranger in my general direction sometime, I'd be happy to hear/read them.

Now for those mutuals that I don't really speak to, but are responsible for like, 75% of my total notes, like, everyone is more than welcome to jump into my DMs and start talking about anything whenever, but y'all specifically are folk I'd have started talking with regularly ages ago if I knew what to talk about. @hoshinoreika2004, @ward-leon, @edenplumreal, @tabnk2, @tapok-eve , @boofbv and @sorcerousbrick, thanks for all the lil' dopamine hits.

Shoutouts to @wretchedbirdthing for being normal about that bird, you're a blast to see on my dash and I wish you luck snapping those collarbones in twain to hear those gay little squawks.

@freiflies and @ottisbuns, alongside Tapok, Vic and Honret, y'all bring life into The Bird Nest, and although I haven't really shown up much there recently, I still read most of everything, the words are cool, keep up the good work!

@genericgirl420 and @mikusays-transrights, you two are the mutuals that suffer the least with The Distances, so let's do this in a more, well, local fashion. É genuinamente bom ver que a comunidade brasileira do tumblr está ativa e saudável, aumenta minhas esperanças de encontrar outras criaturinhas desse site maligno pelas ruas, sua presença, por si só, já melhora meus ânimos, por isso, agradeço profundamente.

Ok back to speaking in simplified Old German. This next section goes out to @lemocoffe and @teacup-of-doom, both of whom I haven't really interacted much, but what little there was was quite great, this is, in fact, an invite to do more of the interact-y thing. Y'all are cool.

Another shoutout to a frequent view on my dash, @lobotomise-me-please, whose "Boobs Girl Music" post still has 10k notes to me, I'll get back to mass reblogging it someday (if y'all wanna help, check out @boobsgirlmusic for the post, that's my Boobs Girl Music sideblog where I reblog Boobs Girl Music)

@aurora-veil, @limbuscompanyyuri and @thevanishedpeople-intothenight are up next, some of my first mutuals, y'all post good. And have been doing so consistently. For the past like, 9 months or so. That's impressive.

@meltingadoration, @holyitsquiverrflynn and @jestressofnihil, my more recent moots, there hasn't been much time to do the friendship-building and knowing each other thing, but all that means is that there's still many opportunities for that, which is cool.

Last but not least, the mutuals who I haven't quite gotten to know as well, but I'm inviting to chat anytime, @readysetgargoyle, @atlasmothss, @meeresengel, @flesh-borne, @b-kut, @aureatecenotaph, @risingdragonblade, @agender-witchery (your posts helped me immensely in figuring out gender, thanks for that) and @lich-of-lcorp. Y'all are cool, we should talk more.

And one last section for all those who I've been in touch with but aren't mutuals with, for any and all reasons (I do tend to reblog very, well, erratically), y'all deserve to be on this list, but I just didn't wanna bother you too much (I do have words of thanks to say though, if you want them, just ask).

This post is still too short to express how thankful I am for y'all existing. I don't think text could ever do it justice.

[madneedshelp]

You Make Loving Fun - Warren Rojas x FReader

Summary: You weren’t really a relationship girl. Sure, you had no problems with some fun and this was the era of free love, but you preferred to keep things as just fun. So, when your friend introduces you to the drummer in her band, why does he make you want to change this rule so badly?

Warnings: implied sex, recreational drug and alcohol use, adult language

“Karen, I swear I cannot get drunk tonight! I have a shoot tomorrow and I cannot be hungover. No drugs either, they make me sloppy in the morning.” You warned, looping an arm through your friend’s.

She tilted back her head in a laugh. “I promise to keep an eye on you, party pooper. You’ve got to have a little fun, though.”

“Of course I will, I just don’t want to mess up this gig. I’ve worked so hard and things are too fucking competitive out here. I will do my best to loosen up a little bit, though.” You gave her a grin that mirrored her own. 

Karen was one of the few good friends you had out in LA. You came out here to pursue modeling after you were scouted soon after high school, and you’d spent the past couple years working hard at it. Not to brag, but you were doing alright for yourself. You were grabbing a drink with some coworkers of yours, which you had to admit were a little insufferable and bitchy, when you met Karen. 

Now here you were, at a party thrown by Karen’s new band. The Six seemed like cool people, Karen definitely liked them better than her previous bandmates, so that made them okay in your book. She was right though, you did need to relax a little bit. This party might’ve been just what you needed. 

“Everyone, this is my good friend, YN. Y/N, that’s Graham, Warren, Eddie, Billy, and Billy’s lovely wife Camila.” Karen announced to the group. 

You exchanged pleasantries with everyone before more people started arriving and the group dispersed. It wasn’t long before Karen drifted off to talk to Graham and you decided maybe one drink wouldn’t be the end of the world. Loosen up, you told yourself. 

“Hey, Y/N, I’m Warren.”

You jumped a bit as you finished pouring yourself a glass of wine, startled by the immediate presence of a curly-haired man. 

“Oh, hi, and I remember.” You chuckled as you turned to face him. He was cute, in a playful way. He seemed genuinely happy, which was something a lot of aspiring musicians these days didn’t exude.

“So, Karen tells us you’re a model, that’s pretty cool.” He gave you a nervous grin.

You nodded. “Indeed I am. It’s not as glamorous as it looks all the time, though.”

He leaned against the table, very obviously trying to be flirty. “Well, I’m sure if it’s you doing it, it looks plenty glamorous.”

That earned a laugh from you. He was funny. And actually quite attractive, you decided. “What else has Karen told you about me?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, she might have told us that you can be a little stuffy.”

A shocked expression took over your face. “Did she really? Wow. That hurts.” 

“I didn’t say I believed her.” Warren shrugged. 

“No, she’s kind of right. I’ve been working a lot lately and my agents have me under a pretty strict routine. That’s why I came tonight, to have some fun.” Your lips turned up in a sly smile. A rush of satisfaction flooded through you as Warren’s eyes traveled down to your lips. Two could play at this little flirty game he had started.

Suddenly, Karen showed up with Graham and Eddie in tow. “Hey, we’re going to go smoke out back. Do you two want to join us?”

You considered for a moment. If you stopped drinking now and only stuck to some weed, you’d probably be okay in the morning. “Sure, I’m in.”

“Really?” Karen looked pleasantly surprised.

“Yeah, apparently someone is spreading the rumor that I’m ‘stuffy’ and I can’t have that circulating.” You sent her a playful glare. 

“Well, you heard the lady, let’s go.” Warren grinned. 

About an hour later, the five of you sat out back in a comfortable haze. Karen and Graham had gotten surprisingly touchy with each other, and Eddie seemed hilariously out of it. You found yourself sneaking numerous glances at Warren. Weed made you a little horny sometimes, which you probably should’ve considered before agreeing to this. 

Luckily for you, Warren was also sneaking glances. You could tell the wanting feeling between you two was mutual. 

Before long, Karen and Graham slipped away, and Eddie wasn’t long to follow. That left you and Warren alone. 

“So,” He sat up beside you in the chair you two shared. “Did you have fun tonight?”

“Yeah, I really did.” You gave him a lazy smile. “How about you?”

“Me too, but I have fun all the time.” Warren chuckled . 

An easy smile played on his lips and you found yourself staring. He did radiate this comforting sort of vibe…honestly, he radiated fun. You weren’t sure at what point you started leaning toward him, but he had leaned in too. 

Before you knew it, his lips were locked on yours and you had your hands entwined in his mess of dark curls. He gave you a chance to break the kiss, just in case it wasn’t what you wanted, but you didn’t. You only kissed him back hungrier. 

Everything about kissing Warren was thrilling. It felt like light speed, but also as though the minutes had dragged into hours. At some point, he’d shifted you into his lap to where you were straddling him and his hands drifted comfortably to your hips. 

“We could…take this upstairs to my room. If you want to.” He whispered breathily into your ear.

“Sorry, I only fuck guitarists.” You whispered back with a joking smirk.

“Shit, I guess Graham will have to give me some lessons then.” He let out a raspy chuckle that sent a flutter of warmth through you. 

You kissed him again, with the same passion resuming almost immediately. “I suppose I could make an exception this once.”

– – – – – – – – – – 

You were still grinning as you tugged your dress back on. Coming to this party had definitely been the right decision. 

“You don’t have to leave now, you know,” Warren murmured from the bed. 

All giddiness faded from you immediately. You never stayed. Relationships were messy and stressful. Your work was stressful enough for you, so you tended to keep your personal life more casual. 

“I should go, I have a shoot pretty early in the morning.” You didn’t look at him as you put your heels back on. 

He was silent for a beat. “Well, could I call you sometime?”

The pit in your stomach only deepened. You felt guilty at the tinge of rejection in his voice. There was something else too, though, but you couldn’t quite put a name on this other feeling. 

“Warren, listen, I’m not exactly looking for a relationship right now. I’m sorry.” You grimaced, unable to make eye contact. Normally, you didn’t have to do this part because most guys didn’t question things when you left right after.

“Could I call you if we don’t make this a relationship thing?” 

You didn’t really do repeats either. That bordered too close to attachments usually, but something in your gut made you nod. Deep down, you kind of wanted to see him again. 

“Yeah, I think that would be okay.” You said hesitantly. 

After writing down your number, you slipped out the door and went to find the exit. As you sat in the cab on the way home, you realized that the odd feeling you couldn’t name earlier was longing. A part of you had wanted to stay with him. Honestly, you weren’t sure if you trusted that part of you. 

– – – – – – – – – –

You and Warren jokingly liked to call each other sex friends. It was a fairly accurate label, to be completely honest. Yeah, the arrangement started off as a sex thing, but you found that you had actually gotten to know him over the past few months and you enjoyed his company. 

Karen brought you along to a decent amount of band functions if you were off work, since your schedule was patchy sometimes. You enjoyed the extra time you got to spend with her, but you didn’t hate seeing Warren more too. 

You and Karen were lounging on some chairs in the studio one afternoon while you waited for the rest of the band, who were almost all usually always late. 

“Why aren’t you with Warren?” Karen asked out of the blue. 

“Why aren’t you with Graham?” You returned.

She sighed and stared off at the wall. “You know why. I love my work, and I’ll never be the woman that wants to settle down. I don’t want to give this up, and being with him would require that of me in the end.”

You shrugged. “Same for me. Work comes first.” Karen considered your words for a moment, and you could tell she didn’t quite believe you. “Just say what you’re thinking.”

“I think that for me, my work makes me happy, and this is the life that’ll make me happiest. If that’s true for you, I respect that one hundred percent, but I don’t think your work makes you happy like I’m happy.” You were about to protest, but she stopped you. “No, listen, I’m not saying you need to be with Warren to be happy. That’s not it. I’m just saying that you should really consider if this lifestyle is what you truly want in the long run.” 

God, you hated when she was right about things. You couldn’t even challenge her because while it may not have been what you wanted to hear, there was some truth to them. Did you want to spend forever just working and going home to an empty apartment? Hell, it’s not like modeling is a career that lasts forever. Did you really want to pour your whole life into a career that would be done with you before the next decade was up?

“And for the record, I do think you look happy with him. He definitely is happier with you. I’m not trying to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, I’m just saying that, for the record, that’s what it looks like.” She added and gave you a small smile. 

You couldn’t go into the Warren spiral again. Not now. Your mind had been drifting there all too often lately. 

“I think I need to go.” You mumbled and grabbed your purse. 

Karen stood up with you and put a hand on your arm. “Hey, please don’t. I didn’t want to make you angry, I just thought you needed to hear it. Please stay.”

“I’m not mad, Karen. I’m just frustrated that you’re right, so I think I need to be alone to do some thinking, okay? I’ll call you tonight.” You grabbed her hand and gave it a quick reassuring squeeze before you headed for the parking lot. 

The universe, it seemed, had shitty timing. Keys in hand, tears starting down your face, you opened the door and ran straight into Warren himself. 

“Hey, Y/N, what’s…wait, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” The smile that formed upon your appearance quickly faltered from his face. 

You shook your head, not wanting to deal with any of it right then. “I’m fine, Warren. I’m just going home.”

But he couldn’t just let you leave. No, you had to pick one of the most decent guys in LA to be in a situationship with. He didn’t move from his spot in front of the door. “I don’t think you’re fine, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t try to drive yourself home like this.”

“Dammit, Warren, why do you fucking care!?” The words were harsh and you didn’t really want to say them, but they slipped out anyway. 

“Because I care about what happens to you. I just, I don’t know, I just care about you, okay?” He kept his voice calm.

“I didn’t ask that of you.”

“I know, but I can’t help it.”

You let out a shaky laugh. “The funny thing is, I didn’t want to date anybody because I didn’t want the distractions and complications, but here we are. Here I am. I’m a fucking mess. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t want to love you because apparently I don’t get to decide those things myself.”

He looked stunned for a moment. “You love me?”

“Yeah, Warren, I do.”

“Can I tell you that I love you too, or is this a bad time for that?” 

That mustered a weak chuckle from you. He always could make you laugh, even from the beginning. 

It really hit you then. Loving Warren wasn’t this painful, terrible thing. It was passionate, and warm, and fun, and it felt good. Maybe it wasn’t in your plan to love someone, but you hadn’t met Warren when you decided that for yourself. Love didn’t have to tear you apart, it could be a thing to keep you together. 

“No, I want you to tell me. Please.” You sniffled, looking up at him through your teary eyes as a fresh wave of tears were about to ensue. These were the happy kind of emotional tears, though. 

“I love you. I’ll love you for as long as you’ll let me.” Warren said softly.

He bent down and kissed you then, and as he did, you got the feeling that you would let him love you for a very long time. 

[officalroyalsofpierreland]

Future Planning

Highland House, Edinburgh, Kingdom of Scots

Oliver: Mao Gaol....what has you so upset? Evie called me when you passed on lunch with her...

Hortense [sniffling]: I'm sorry mon prince, I- I'm still...thinking about something Charlotte mentioned to me before I left Tulleries

Oliver [anger rising]: What did she do? She may be the Empress of the French but she is making your cry and-

Hortense: It was...nothing malicious on her end...nothing intentionally malicious this time...she just...commented that she hopes that our children will be good friends...and...I'm sorry mon prince I don't know why it is bothering me so much.

Oliver: Love, it clearly has affected you. How can I help you feel better?

Hortense: I don't think you can...it is...something I've feared for a long time.

Oliver: Hortie...what is this fear?

Hortense[whispering]: I...I fear pregnancy....and childbirth...it...it was all so so traumatic for Mere...that was the reason it is only Louis and I, it would've been life ending if she had attempted another pregnancy...I just [sighing] I fear that it will be the same with me...and that I'll fail you and the Kingdom-

Oliver: My love...whether we have none, one, two, or ten children. You will not fail me. You could never fail me. You could never fail the Kingdom because you will be one of the best Duchesses of Rothsey this nation has ever seen. You are kind, loving, so much more intelligent than me [A soft giggle from Hortense] I can wait for children my love. What you and our relationship has taught me it is patience.

Hortense: But most couples after they are married-

Oliver: They are not us darling. I know you want to finish your degree at the Polytechnic, and I want us to just, enjoy this time and get used to being married. There will be plenty of life shifts happening for us that I think we can fend off questions of children for a good number of years. If God wants us to have children in that time, then it shall happen. If not, then it won't.

Hortense: I...I just...can imagine what people will say...

Oliver: Well they can all shove it up their-

Hortense: Oliver!

Oliver: It is true! And for all we know, I could be the one with the issues...it took my parents forever to have me and even that was somewhat traumatic for my mama and da. You'll drive the pace of when we'll have kids since you are doing the heavy lifting. I have the easy and fun part! [Hortense laughs] Yes! I have you laughing my love! I am victorious against Simparte induced blues.

Hortense [giggling]: You are such a dork! I cannot believe it will be soon. The amount of time I've just...stared at this ring is something I'm a bit embarrassed by.

Oliver: I cannot wait either. Soon the protocol police will end their watch on us-

Hortense: If somebody didn't push the envelope, he wouldn't be on such a short leash with them!

Oliver: They have insane rules! The fact you don't have a phone for instance, our children shall have individual phones when they're 14 cause we'll actually trust them!

Hortense[teasing]: You say that now but if we have daughters-

Oliver: I won't trust the boys their age love...boys are dumb until the hit about 25 with brain development and all that stuff, if I have a bunch of mini yous running around, I'll have to worry about all the boys trying to break down our doors!

Hortense: You'll know how Papa felt about you even though I know he approves of you.

Oliver: I hope he does. It will soon be my job to protect you and ensure your happiness. And I will take that very seriously.

Hortense: You will love. Do not forget that Louis does have a lot of control over the military in Francesim [joking] he won't hesitate to send the Navy up here using ships made by your Uncle!

[Oliver and Hortense laugh]

@empiredesimparte

[a-canceled-stamp]

20 Questions for Writers

Thank you @motleyfam, @crows-murder and @selkienight60 for the tags! ^.^

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

157,488

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly DC, but Star Wars, Marvel, Malevolent (Podcast), Good Omens, and MHA make appearances too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Long Way Down (To The Bottom Of The River)

Then Came the Morning

A Leap of Faith

Talk To Me

There Are Softer Oak Trees

5. Do you respond to comments?

I used to respond to every comment fairly quickly but recently I just haven't had the time :(( I appreciate every single comment though, they bring me such joy 🥹

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That would be cardboard box - the first (sort of) hurt no comfort I've written >:D

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably There Are Softer Oak Trees :)))

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do!!!! Or...I'm giving it a shot at least. Not for DC, but for Malevolent. Might post something real soon :3

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I didn't even know this was a thing before today. That being said, I don't think so??

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I would love to collab sometime :3

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I cannot pick one because I don't really have A favorite. But Stucky (Marvel), DinLuke (Star Wars), Merthur (Merlin), SuperBat (DC), TimKon (DC) and Science Girlfriends (Orphan Black) are all ships I enjoy.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Dying Is Easy, Living Is Harder. I have many ideas for it but unfortunately, I'm not obsessed enough about the characters to fulfill them lmao. Also An Unexpected Visit bc similar to the previous one I have a lot of ideas, but I just don't think I am talented enough to actually write those ideas.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've rewritten this answer 10 times, but no version felt right. At one point, I decided I was just gonna skip it. BUT NO. I'm gonna stop worrying about other peepz opinions and just say what I actually believe. And here it is.

I know how to make my writing more immersive with various details like sounds, smells, sensations etc. (and I LOVE doing this. The only issue is I sometimes do it either too much or too little ahdjkhsd)

I am VERY nitpicky. This can seem more like a flaw (and it is), but it has also helped me grow and understand what I like and dislike about my writing. It also means I spend a lot of time editing which makes posting SO much more satisfying (tho sometimes I gotta get those shorter fics out there for the instant serotonin boost lol)

I'm not a huge fan of characters who say/do things that don't make sense considering the genre/plot. Spending more time on this is challenging since I both dislike and SUCK at writing dialogue (why is English so HARD??), but it is also a lot of fun bc I think I am getting better at it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Well, that part about being nitpicky is obviously a lie bc I didn't realize question 17 was gone ahdjshdkj. But I was the one who noticed it first among my friends so...maybe? Nope lol

English grammar. I have to double check every time I write a message to online friends to make sure what I've written is actually a sentence that makes sense.The thing is - I think I'm pretty good, but I actually suck. One time, I wrote mold wine instead of mulled wine in a fic. Never living that down. This is I think why it takes me so long to edit lmao.

Being too harsh on myself and not allowing myself to feel proud about my accomplishments/comparing my writing to other people. Yes, compared to other fantastic writers I suck, and it will always be like that. It's something I'm still struggling to accept, but I'm getting there!

Writing quickly. Like shutting off my brain and just writing doesn't work for me. I have to be there and edit every single sentence that I don't like, and I think this is why it takes so long for me to finish the first draft. Def gotta work on this!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Hmm. Instinctively, I think it makes more sense to write something like, "Person A said something in a language I didn't understand" than to write in that language. It's more fun that way. And if both the pov character and I don't understand what Person A saying it makes me sympathize with the pov character more.

That being said, if I ever see someone writing in Swedish in a fic, I will be immensely happy (and horrified)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Rise of the Guardians on ffn. The fic is still there and is still hot garbage, but I did have a lot of fun writing it.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

I know what my LEAST favorite one is hjkahdsjk. Nah but for real, I love all my fics for very specific reasons. Like I have a sort of emotional connection with all of them depending on where I was in life, how I was feeling emotionally at the time, etc.

My top 3 would probably be Long Way Down (To The Bottom Of The River) bc it was the first fic I put a lot of thought and effort into, There Are Softer Oak Trees bc it makes me soft and fuzzy when I think about it, and cardboard box bc the comments made me fkn cackle.

It feels impossible to tag people who haven't been tagged yet but imma go with @miles2g0, @lurkinglurkerwholurks, @they-reap-what-we-sow, @liverobinreaction, and @bonesbuckleup. No pressure ofc!